#(the last days of jack sparks)

[amazingmsme]

I'm wanting to read more books but attention/focus hard

What's the rough concept for the jack sparks book you were talking about? I'm tempted to do the Spotify audiobook 👀

OMG YES ANY EXCUSE TO GUSH ABOUT THIS BOOK! Plus, it’s just so damn good & thrilling! It really starts off with a bang (even if the narrator himself is to stubborn to open his eyes)

Don’t worry about spoilers, I don’t say anything that’s not in the summary or within the first few pages

But the book is about the infamously acclaimed journalist Jack Sparks, who died while writing this book. Author of hits such as Jack Sparks on a Pogo Stick, Jack Sparks on Gangs & Jack Sparks on Drugs, Jack Sparks on the Supernatural was supposed to be his big comeback after rehab.

But after laughing during an exorcism & fucking tweeting about it, shit starts to hit the fan. A very creepy video pops up on his own YouTube channel & is promptly deleted, & no one knows the origins. He starts to dig deeper into the occult. Somewhere along the way he sticks his nose in the wrong place, bites off more than he can chew, & he pays the ultimate price.

Cocky yet lovable son of a bitch & one hell of an unreliable narrator. Mostly in the sense that he wants to come off way more aloof & brave than what actually happened

[mylifeinfiction]

The Last Days of Jack Sparks by Jason Arnopp

I cannot let me get the better of myself.

He does, though. Jason Arnopp's The Last Days of Jack Sparks doesn't achieve greatness because of just how painfully cringe-worthy and utterly insufferable its titular narrator is. Yes, it's by design. And yes, some of his personality plays into some really good moments and twists, throughout. But it's all just too much, and makes an otherwise completely bonkers, genuinely creepy, ambitious narrative a lot less fun.

Thankfully, though, The Last Days of Jack Sparks is more than just its narcissistic narrator. It's a weird horror novel chock-full of well-executed—if familiar—ideas about possession and all things paranormal. And, as a whole, it delivers a creatively executed narrative that utilizes it's dark sense of humor and some exciting genre tropes (including a personal favorite) very effectively, creating a disorienting trip through the landscape of one man's addiction, childhood trauma and ego that understands just how transformative those things are.

"Creepy subject matter, right enough. The Devil's always frightening, isn't he?"

7/10

-Timothy Patrick Boyer.

[haveyoureadthishorrorbookpoll]

Have you read...

Jack Sparks died while writing this book. It was no secret that journalist Jack Sparks had been researching the occult for his new book. No stranger to controversy, he'd already triggered a furious Twitter storm by mocking an exorcism he witnessed. Then there was that video: forty seconds of chilling footage that Jack repeatedly claimed was not of his making, yet was posted from his own YouTube account. Nobody knew what happened to Jack in the days that followed - until now.

submit a horror book!

[libraryofbaxobab]

November 6, 2022:

I didn't expect this dose of surreality but I welcome it. I'm always pleased to be blindsided by what's been there the whole time. Catharsis for every time you've talked to an insufferable narcissist, knowing they were lying but unable to prove it. 7.5/10 #WhatsKenyaReading

[the-antiapocalyptic-man]

It's 1999 somewhere

The Authority: Last Days of Empire

[housewarningparty]

top 5 horror book recommendations? it's spooky season and i need to get my read on...

Hell yeah! Gonna break this down a little. First an obligatory rehash of books I always recommend for this, these are like all-time faves for me

Wounds/North American Lake Monsters by Nathan Ballingrud - can't choose between these two, so they're tied for my favorite single author short story collection. Nathan Ballingrud is one of my favorite writers of all time

Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado - a very very close second for my favorite single-author short story collection. Machado is a beautiful writer and finding an author writing such powerful horror from a queer woman's perspective was world changing for me.

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson - COME ON!!!! You might have already read this but consider reading it again! Absolute classic.

The Cipher by Kathe Koja - dark, fucked up meditation on art and addiction and toxic relationships. I think about this book all the time. A guy finds a weird hole in his apartment basement and then everything goes wrong (first slowly and then very very quickly)

Red X by David Demchuk - talked about this a lot before too but I really do love it. Fictional story inspired by real life serial killings that took place in Toronto's gay village over decades. The author inserts essays throughout the book that makes it part memoir as well. A supernatural story about real queer trauma.

--

Okay with that out of the way, here's some recommendations for stuff I think would be fun for Halloween specifically

Echoes edited by Ellen Datlow - OKAY CHEATING I ALSO RECOMMEND THIS ALL THE TIME BUT IT'S A PERFECT OCTOBER BOOK!!! Fuck-off huge ghost story anthology. Huge range of tones, pretty diverse group of contributing authors, it's my all-time favorite anthology.

Slewfoot by BROM - this one's got major autumn vibes. It's a story of a woman in Puritan New England who's accused of witchcraft. It's also a story about the devil. Kind of. The print version has really amazing paintings by the author, but I've heard this is also good in audio.

Come Closer by Sara Gran - this is a great little novella. Possession story that really packs a punch. I can't really say much more than that, but it's not a huge time investment and I think it's really worthwhile.

Carmilla by Joseph Sheridan LeFanu - if you can, get the version edited by Carmen Maria Machado (she adds in some great footnotes and it has some neat art too). This is a classic and also quite a brisk read. The original lesbian vampire story.

Silver Nitrate by Silvia Moreno-Garcia - here's a new release for you! I always watch a ton of horror movies in October, and if you're anything like me maybe you'll want to read a horror novel about horror movies. This story follows a female film editor in 90s Mexico and her washed up actor friend as they help a retired filmmaker complete his famously unfinished last film, which he had been making with a former Nazi occultist before strange misfortunes and the occultist's mysterious disappearance forced production to shut down.

Okay that was double the amount of recommendations requested so I'm stopping here. Haha don't look in the tags don't worry about it there's nothing there you're crazy

[i-know-how-my-story-ends]

Horror media where the characters have acute genre awareness is just *chef's kiss*

[poguehearted77]

OBX Season 5: Payback for Maybank - masterlist

Actor! Au Pairing: Actress! Reader x Drew Starkey Your Character: Piper Monroe, a jack of all trades whose hustle was making a living as an arms dealer in Morocco. Until a group of foreigners find her with an appetite for revenge, and she decides to tag along.

These can be read in any order, the season summary is just to give you some background on the character and role you played in the final season. In this mini series you'll get to see what really goes on behind the scenes.

Lmk if you want to be added to the tag list <3

Season Summary: This season, the Pogues are back, and their hunt for Chandler Groff leads them through the scorching sands of Morocco—and straight into your path, a mischievous arms dealer with secrets as deep as your scars. Due to your betrayal, the Pogues are ambushed and barely survive, saved only by your last-minute change of heart. Even after your redemption and display of loyalty, Rafe still doesn’t trust you, and in your uneasy alliance, he keeps you close, sometimes too close. Tension crackles between you, with moments where his knife is at your throat, yet something unspoken simmers beneath the surface. In the final episode, as danger closes in, confessions boil over when you and Rafe find yourselves held hostage by the leader of the mercenaries, Finch. During your time in bondage, you connect on feelings of solitude and regrets, but you see a spark in him when he mentions a girl back home, a reason to keep fighting. It's a race against time before Finch comes back to kill you. To both your frustration, critical thinking and strategic camaraderie are necessary for your escape. When you find yourselves stuck in a sticky situation amidst your escape, you make the ultimate sacrifice for Rafe, reminding him, “You have someone to live for,” before initiating a human diversion in a suicide mission, giving Rafe the chance to make it back to the Pogues, giving him a second chance.

Below the cut you’ll find my masterlist of life behind the scenes of season 5. Including premiere appearances, bloopers, red carpets, interviews and your budding romance with Drew.

Lights, Camera, Action! -> It's your first day on set and your nerves are through the roof but the cast makes you feel at home. You practice your lines, but the sparks between you and Drew are unscripted.

Between the Lines -> It's the little things that go on behind the scenes between you and Drew that makes your chemistry electric.

Co-Star Confessions-> The cast takes you along for a trip to take a lie detector test. The jokes are rolling and the tea starts to spill.

Portugal Nights-> The day was tense. Rehearsals were much more heated than the lines intended and the thin rubber band of restraint holding you both apart was bound to snap, and it finally does.

The Wrap Party-> Filming is over and that's a wrap for Outer Banks. Things get emotional but Drew knows how to cheer you up.-coming soon (January 2025!)

Limelight -> Due to your smaller role in the season compared to the main cast, you only had a few solo interviews but not without a few surprises. -coming soon

Wardrobe Malfunction-> You and Drew were scheduled to make it to the red carpet by 8 sharp, but not everything goes as planned.-coming soon

Ship Wars-> The fans are back at it again, and the shipping continues. Debating that Piper and Rafe should've had a romantic arc. You and Drew are given a special interview to address them.-coming soon

The Power Couple-> Drew finally made things official, so you began to have your fun with the fans and let them put the pieces together.-coming soon

The After Party-> The champagne is bubbly in your systems when you and Drew are stumbling into your hotel room after the party.-coming soon

I do not own or take credit for the characters or cast of outer banks. These are all pure fiction and do not accurately reflect the cast.

[see-arcane]

Our good friend Jonathan Harker is getting ready to leave for his business trip, Mina Murray is picking out a new journal, Lucy Westenra is charming a gaggle of smitten suitors, Abraham van Helsing is wrapping up his lectures, and Castle Dracula is prepping the guest room for a very long stay.

Which must mean that Dracula Season is here again!

 ‘Dracula Season’ being a catchall term for the voracious reading, memeing, writing, illustrating, analyzing, and general fun-having that’s ensued since Matt Kirkland’s project, Dracula Daily, caught on with us back in 2022. The Substack had already been running before then, but it sparked a conflagration as time went on and readers old and new to Bram Stoker’s Dracula—the actual novel, not Coppola’s fanfiction—devoured it in a way that scratched an itch none of us knew we had. Stoker wrote the book in epistolary fashion, clumping sections together as needed for the pacing without perfect adherence to chronological order. Matt went ahead and put all the events in order and proceeded to set up a lovely chain of emails that delivered entries on those correlating dates.

This style of organization and pacing turned out to not only make the virtual book club that much easier to engage with, but left space in-between to stew on the story and relate with the characters themselves. Every day of waiting in the book feels weightier when you have to pace and sweat and worry in tandem with poor Jonathan trapped in the castle or Lucy wasting away or Mina running out the clock before she loses the fight for her own humanity. And while we sat with the story or the lulls between Dracula Seasons, some of us found ourselves craving more of that ghastly gothic horror goodness to the point that we figured:

“Well. Why don’t I make something?”

And then we did! Tons of creative works have been churned out in the wake of Dracula Daily’s high. I figured that while we’ve still got a bit of time to wait for May 3rd, we should check out all this new stuff in the meantime. (Plus a handful of neat stuff that just clicks with the Dracula itch overall.)

So, in the interest of Dracula Season pregaming, let’s take a look at…

FICTION

Blood of My Blood – A recent addition to the Dracula Bad Ending AU pile, and definitely one of the most harrowing and addictive group-produced narratives I’ve ever come across, Blood of My Blood is the dramatically gothic currently-WIP work of @ibrithir-was-here and @animate-mush’s devious design. Give or take a heap of other fascinated folks (hello!) adding ideas to put more Horror into the Horrors that our cast has to face. The premise:

The Transylvanian climax went fatally sour and the Harkers were forced to shelter with Dracula himself, including their half-vampire son, Quincey. Cut to two decades later, and Quincey finds himself out in modern London, smitten with Lu, adopted daughter of Arthur and Jack, and diving into certain bloodstained old documents that detail the real history of how his parents came to live in the castle. Said revelations coming not a moment too soon, as a storm is coming for him straight from the Carpathians…

Dracula Daily Sketch Collection – An array of illustrations that captures every entry beat by beat, the Dracula Daily Sketch Collection by Georgia Cook, alias @georgiacooked was dished out over the course of the last Dracula Season. Some of the most fun character designs out there.

Fanfiction Spotlight: BlueCatWriter – With a whopping 99 works devoted to the novel Dracula (so far, the number may have gone up since I blinked), @bluecatwriter is one of the most prolific and talented fanfiction scribblers out there. Romances, nightmares, and overlaps between the two seem to crop up the most, give or take a crossover. Seems fitting that those blue paw prints have contributed to BoMB too.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlefolk – An ongoing comic in which all your favorite characters from the Classics section get together and tackle some perils ranging from the mundane to the monstrous. Started by the amazing @mayhemchicken and posted on @lxgentlefolkcomic, this series is a love letter to beloved Victorian era lit, with a spotlight on the two couples leading the League. Namely, the Harkers, ala Dracula, and the Nortons, ala Sherlock Holmes,’ “A Scandal in Bohemia.” Mina and Irene are the driving investigative and steering forces here, and still deeply in love with their likewise-infatuated husbands, just like in their canons! What a concept! Alan.

Without spoiling the full character list, just know there are going to be a ton of familiar faces roaming around before you finish reading the first arc. Said arc having conveniently wrapped up just a few days ago! Give the comic and its bonus silliness a look if you’re in the mood for a new comfort-adventure epic.

Re: Dracula – Probably the most well-known and incredible thing to come out of the initial Dracula Daily wave. This podcast is a full audio drama that follows the same format as the Substack, with episodes coming out in time with the entries themselves. And it has an unfairly cool soundtrack. They have a Tumblr with @re-dracula, a site and a Patreon to check out before the series kicks up again on May 3rd. (Also, keep an eye out for their next work, an audio drama in the same style with Carmilla.)

The Soldier and the Solicitor – Another treat from @ibrithir-was-here, this one involves a bit of time travel trouble. Quincey Harker has stumbled out of World War I and into the same dark forest where his father once fled for his life…then runs into the man himself, on that same night. Jonathan Harker, young and starved and lost, who has no choice but to trust this stranger while the Weird Sisters are at his heels…despite said stranger having no shadow. It’s a tasty emotional trek, already complete on Tumblr, but now it’s turning into a Webtoon. While Ibrithir is juggling a number of other stories, she’ll be redrawing spruced up versions of the comic and adding a few new scenes as things unfold.

Substack Stack – You know what’s better than one emailed-out public domain book club? A mountain of them. Just. So, so many of them. You’ll see that a lot of these are finished, but some are still ticking along. Either way, they’re all great picks if you’re craving some more old school lit to fill the void between undead emails.

Frankenstein Weekly – Frankenstein

Jekyll and Hyde Weekly – The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

Voyage of the Nautilus – Twenty-Thousand Leagues Under the Sea

Letters from Watson – Sherlock Holmes

The Invisible Mail – The Invisible Man

Letters from Bunny – E.W. Hornung’s short stories of the eponymous Bunny and Raffles

Letters Regarding Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse’s Bertie Wooster short stories, including the novel, Right Ho, Jeeves

…

……

………

…The Beetle Weekly – The Beetle (NOTE: Do Not Read This.)

The Vampyres – A novella I finally wrenched through the gears of self-publication as of March this year. Starring a petite but powerful paranormal cast, The Vampyres, centers on an unscrupulous undead fellow who finds that the revenants of the world are being mowed down by an entity known only as ‘Quinn Morse.’ Between trying to save his neck and figure out where the shadowy bastard came from, the Vampyre in question crosses paths with a new paramour and handy human shield in the form of a grieving Good Samaritan. He’s even polite enough to invite the Vampyre into his home while he’s in dire straits! Surely this will end well. All the info is available here and a little author site is over here.

What Manner of Man – This is the one made for everyone who started out hoping there’d be a real love story with our good friend Jonathan Harker and the Count when he was at his most charismatic. Where that sea of wonders dried up into a mire of horror, What Manner of Man by @stjohnstarling keeps things firmly on the romantic tracks. This Substack stars the letter-writing priest Father Victor E. Ardelian as he finds himself meeting with one enigmatic Lord Alistair Vane. It isn’t long before interest turns into intrigue and intrigue into undead intimacies.

The entire novel has been completed—along with multiple epilogues in the author’s Patreon, allowing readers to choose for themselves just how the uncanny romance plays out in the end—and the Substack now has a number of other gothic goodies piling up in the meantime.  

NONFICTION

Dracula Daily: A Unique Reading Experience: This one comes courtesy of @realwomenofgaming. It’s a short and sweet piece that amounts to a fun snapshot of the entire Dracula Daily ride. A cozy couple-minute read.

‘Dracula Daily’ is the One Substack You Need a Subscription To: Features my favorite Matt Kirkland interview. @mattkirkland, if you’re still floating around on here, thank you for dispatching our vampire newsletter again this year.

Dracula Daily is Tumblr’s hottest new book club: Alright, the ‘new’ part is worn out by now, but this one is still a delightful article to swing back around to. Two years on, this Polygon piece is a time capsule of those early months when people outside our bookworm bubble realized we were all happily receiving letters from our favorite classic gothic horror blorbos.  

“How Mina Murray Became Dracula’s Girlfriend” – Princess Weekes, if you ever read this, thank you, thank you, thank you. I am sending oceans of love and millions of rewatches to your video essay. If you haven’t seen it yet, “How Mina Murray Became Dracula’s Girlfriend” is one of the most refreshing and well-made breakdowns of both the title subject and numerous other issues that have proliferated in the public view of Dracula’s cast and plot as adaptations endlessly warp or outright bastardize the actual novel. An incredibly cathartic watch.  

Literary play gone viral: delight, intertextuality, and challenges to normative interpretations through the digital serialization of Dracula: A mouthful of a title for an even more elaborate article about the Dracula Daily phenomenon. This one is a full-on study that analyzes just what happened within the big bloodsucker book club surge and how its ‘wandering reading practices’ enriched the experience for participants.

 “The Undying Undead: An analysis of the Dracula Daily community for a theory of online community formation and interaction” – We have a thesis on here! Look at that! @sirangelothebestest’s MA thesis used our vampiric book club as the bones for a massive brick of an academic piece that definitely deserves a look.

…And I think I’ll go ahead and cap things here.

This isn’t everything I got recommended, but if I had squashed all of it in here, I think folks’ eyes would start to fall out of their head. I hope you can find something cool to comb through here. Or, if there’s something great I overlooked, tack it onto the list! We’ve got just two weeks to go until we’re off with Mr. Harker. Let’s enjoy our respite before those castle doors close behind us.

[rowdyluv]

DAY OUT

summary: in which ellen and y/n spend the day together shopping.

word count: 1.7k

warnings: use of y/n, insecurities that may be triggering,

notes: i am not proud of this part. heavily debating on re-writing it but wanted to get something out :)

© property of rowdyluv ; do not copy and re-upload as your own - anywhere. do not place my work inside AI codes, do not translate.

The sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm, golden glow over the quiet downtown streets. Inside the car, Y/n sat unusually quiet, her gaze lost in the reflection of passing buildings and people on the window. Her thoughts swirled like leaves in the autumn wind, each one heavier than the last. Each store they had visited had been a letdown, a sea of fabric and lace that seemed to mock her rather than offer a solution to her dilemma. She had hoped that dress shopping would be an exciting adventure, a bonding experience with Jack's mom, but it had turned into a tiresome quest with no end in sight.

Ellen, noticing the weight of her silence, offered a gentle, "You okay, sweetie?"

Y/n sighed, "I don't think I'm going to find anything. Nothing seems to look right on me."

Ellen, with a knowing smile, reached over and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "You've got to be positive about it, darling. If you go in thinking that way it’s going to be even harder. You’ll be stuck on negativity."

"But it's true," Y/n protested, her voice barely above a whisper. "I've tried on so many dresses, and none of them looked right." She swallowed down the lump in her throat. “I knew if I wore any of those I would only embarrass Jack.”

Ellen's smile didn't falter. "You could wear a paper sack and Jack would still think you're the prettiest girl in the room," she said, her voice filled with the warmth of a mother's unconditional love. "Trust, my son is as smitten as a kitten with you. Has been from a young age. Learning that the two of you finally started dating was a celebration for Jim and I.” Ellen sighed.

Y/n felt guilty for lying to Ellen about her and Jack’s current relationship status but that was Jack’s provocative. If he wanted his family to be under the same impression as the public.

Ellen parked the car with a hopeful smile. "This is it," she said, pointing towards the last store on their list, a quaint little boutique nestled between a bakery and a bookstore. "I have a good feeling about this one."

Before they could even step out of the car, she turned to Y/n with a sparkle in her eyes. "Listen to me," she began, her voice filled with a gentle authority. "Jack loves you for who you are, not what you wear. But I know how much you want to look amazing for him, and I'm here to tell you that you do. In every dress you've tried on today, you've looked beautiful. It's all about finding the one that makes you feel like the beauty you are, okay honey?”

She nodded and offered up a small smile towards Ellen.

Ellen could see the doubt still lingering in her eyes, so she took a moment before they got out of the car to speak from the heart. "You know," she began, "Jack's always had a way of seeing the best in people. And you, my dear, are the best he's ever seen, even when you two were little. You're smart, kind, and you have a spark that lights up any room you walk into."

Her eyes searched Y/n's, hoping her words would resonate. "Now, I know you're feeling down about the dresses, but let's go in there with an open mind, yes?" She offered her hand and led Y/n to the storefront entrance, her own excitement for the search not waning. The bell above the door jingled sweetly as they entered the boutique, and the scent of fresh flowers and fabric softener greeted them.

The store was a treasure trove of gowns, each one more exquisite than the last. Y/n felt the weight of her own inadequacies lift as they were greeted by a kind saleswoman who offered them individualized help. As they explained what they were looking for, the woman led them through racks of dresses, holding up each one with a hopeful smile.

Y/n's eyes scanned the rows of dresses, each one seemingly more beautiful than the last, but none of them seemed to be 'the one'. She felt her hope dwindling with every step they took, every dress that was deemed 'not quite right'. The pressure to find the perfect dress for devils event grew heavier with each passing moment.

Ellen noticed her growing discouragement and took a deep breath, her eyes scanning the store with renewed determination. "Let's try this," she said, leading Y/n to a secluded rack at the back of the store. "These are the last ones we're looking at."

Y/n's eyes fell upon a dress that was unlike any she had seen that day. It was a stunning blend of elegance and boldness, with the top half in black that flowed into a fiery red at the bottom. It was as if the dress had been painted by the very emotions she was feeling - the uncertainty of black meeting the passion of red. The irony of it being Devils colors too playing on the back burner.

Her heart skipped a beat as she whispered to Ellen, "Look at that one," pointing to the mannequin that held the captivating dress.

Ellen followed her gaze and nodded approvingly. "Ah, that's a unique choice," she murmured. "Let's see if it's available in your size."

“That’s the only one actually.” The sales rep says, having overhead the conversation. “We only received two of them and never got any more of them. A young lady came in two days ago purchased the other one for a charity event.”

Defeat tumbles into Y/n like a freight train. The unlikely chance there would only be two and the other would be purchased for a charity event too.

“But if you’re wanting a red dress, look at this one.” The sales rep says happily.

Y/n’s eyes followed over to where the sales lady had moved to, and fell upon a simple yet elegant red midi dress. It was modest yet held an undeniable charm that called to her. She walked over to it and gently touched the fabric, feeling the softness of it beneath her fingertips.

"This one," she murmured to herself.

The sales rep handed Y/n the red dress with a knowing smile, as if she had read her mind. Y/n slipped into the dressing room, her heart racing as she pulled the garment over her head. The fabric was like a second skin, hugging her in all the right places, the silky softness a comforting embrace. As she turned to look in the mirror, she gasped.

The dress was a vision of understated beauty, with a neckline that whispered sophistication and a fit that accentuated her figure without revealing too much. The way the fabric fell around her, it was as if it had been designed just for her. Y/n felt a surge of hope, the kind that lights up a room after a storm.

It was surprisingly comfortable, not a single pinch or tug. It was like the universe had conspired to put this dress in her path, a beacon of light in the sea of frills and lace she had been navigating. She stepped out of the dressing room, her cheeks flushed with excitement.

Ellen's eyes widened as she took in the transformation. The young girl she watched grow up entered the dressing room timidly but exited with confidence that exuded from her body like none other.

"Oh, honey," she breathed, "you look absolutely stunning."

Y/n twirled around, watching the fabric dance around her legs, the dress was perfect it was so right and so her it had letting out a small giggle.

The dress was simple, a compliment to her, yet it had a certain charm to it that seemed to call out to all who looked at her. It truly was, as if the universe was pulling them to this boutique for this moment.

The sales rep, a petite woman with a sharp eye for fashion, clapped her hands together in delight. "It's like it was made for you," she exclaimed. "The way it hugs your curves and makes your skin glow, it's absolutely divine!"

Y/n couldn't help but beam at the reflection in the mirror. "It is," she murmured, still in awe. “I’m sorry I’m just excited because I didn’t get to do this in high school. I feel like this my senior year moment.” She smiled.

Ellen's eyes twinkled as she stepped closer to her, wrapping her in a warm hug. "You deserve every bit of this, and more," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "Jack's going to be absolutely speechless."

She flushed at the thought of when Jack sees her in a red dress. Especially when she is repeatedly thinking about how he said ‘my girl looks good in red’ It may have been for show but it’s still something on repeat in her mind.

Y/n felt a warmth spread through her chest as she looks back at Ellen, the kind that comes from knowing you're loved and supported. She nodded, her eyes misting over. "Thank you, Ellen. For everything, for coming when my mom couldn’t, for being there when he left, for this."

Ellen squeezed her shoulder. "It's what we do for family, or hopefully our future family," she said simply, her voice thick with emotion and a smile as she hands the cashier a card.

“No wait! I can pay. Don’t do that.” Y/n argued searching her bag for her wallet.

Ellen gently took her hand and held it in hers. “Jack insisted. He wanted me to use his card for anything we buy you. And right now, this is what we are buying you.” She said with a firmness that didn’t allow room for argument.

Y/n felt tears prick the corners of her eyes as she looked at the red midi dress in the clothing bag. It was more than just a piece of clothing; it was a symbol of the love and support she had found in Jack's family, even when Jack had left for the league. "Thank you," she whispered again, her voice thick and trembling with emotion.

[vhaos-chaotic-writing]

🌌💗💜MOONSTORM'S BACK BOYIE!!🫶🫶 With another request of part 2 of my last request Yandere ALL tfp characters x super shy reader, the same ever reader, the whole thing being an scenario how the Autobots, even Ratchet, come back from an mission to find thare beloved SUPER innocent🥺 reader upset, sad or happy with Jack, Miko and Raf trying to chear tham up?💜💗🌌😘

MOON IS BACK!!! \(@^0^@)/

(TFP) Yandere!Autobots w/ Shy Cybertronian!Reader Pt. 2 - "The sun to my sunflower"

WARNINGS: Yandere behaviour, yandere harem, typical violence from the series and a little bit more, Reader is gender neutral and in the Autobot faction. Cliffjumper ain't here - boy is dead af. Reader has PTSD and has an anxiety attack.

Every day, like clockwork, sunflowers wake up and bend toward the sun, following its path from east to west - no matter how soft or harsh the sun is feeling that day, the always follow it until it sets.

Their optics always follow you, loving everything about you - it brings them peace in the middle of the war. They love to see you interacting with, well, anything! They love the way you express, talk, think - and while they would rather have you happy all the time, your negative emotions always remind them the reason why they love you and protect you.

Of course - their favorite emotion to see painted on your faceplate is happiness.

Your soft and lively laugh makes Bumblebee, Wheeljack and Ultra Magnus turn their helms, forgetting what they were doing for the sake of burning inside of their memory softwares the sound of your laugh and smile. Finding you laughing as Miko shows you those silly cat videos of them sleeping in funny positions, making funny noises or doing just something with their owners! Your laugh makes their sparks sigh and burn, and it brings them peace. While Ultra Magnus would stand back to keep admiring you, Bee and Wheeljack would get closer and ask you what were you laughing about, loving to hear you explain them with such joy the origin of your present contentment.

A small whine or defeated hum would make Smokescreen and Bulkhead turn their helms in the blink of an optic. To see you frown and with an annoyed expressiong makes their spark shout a 'No! No! Wrong! Sweetspark should not be annoyed!' and make their engines work quickly to fix the problem! The two mechs are quick to ask you what is the problem? Why are you upset? Are you okay? Do you need help? How can they help you? They can't stand not see you happy and pleased! When you express your frustration of having heard Jack is stressed with his studies and haven't thought how to cheer up the teenager after seeing him so down, it broke your spark. Bulkhead and Smokescreen are so relieved that you are okay, making them melt at how you keep the well being of the human children close to your spark.

Oh, but when a soft sob or the beginning of a sparkbreaking wail reaches their audials - every single one of them feels something in their spark twist and wail back. A couple of weeks ago, Raf had got you an amethyst geode since you seemed to find so fascinating the minerals from earth. You were enamoured with it, thanking Raf for nearly a whole week. The team knew how much you cared for that small gift - it brought them happiness and knew how that object brought you some kind of support whenever you were anxious or nervous.

Just when Optimus and Arcee were arriving back from a mission and being welcomed back by Ratchet, the sound of crystal breaking is heard, followed by a desperate inhale. The leader, the medic and the soldier are quick to run to your recharging room and when they enter, the sight breaks their sparks. The geode was now in pieces on the floor, with you kneeling and seemed to be holding a couple of said pieces in your servos - you must had accidentally added to much pressure as you held the mineral against your chestplate to find the comfort in order to control your anxiety attack. Alas, the moment you heard the crack and saw the pieces escaping from your servos, you broke down just as the painful memories of the beginning of the war attacked you. Ratchet and Arcee are quick to reach you, trying to calm you down, holding your servos and let you cry on either chestplate.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!" You cry, your helm held against Arcee's chestplate, the fembot hugging you closely as Ratchet holds one of your servos, the medic and the soldier whispering to you supportive words. When Optimus finally moves, the medic and the soldier slowly move away but don't stop touching you until you are in Optimus' hug. The Prime holds you and when you hug him back to sob against his chestplate, Ratchet and Arcee place one of their servos on your backplates. It pains them to see you like this, crying and with tears in your precious optics. They'll end this war so you never cry again.

Like a sunflower, all of them turn their helms towards you, as you are the sun to their universe. The precious, bright and gracious sun.

Shyly asking you if you want to be mutuals... (/ω＼*)……… (/ω•＼*) Vhaos out!

[amazingmsme]

hihi! i cant seem to find the audiobook u mentioned :((((( i was thinking of giving it a try before going to sleep

would u mind sharing a link?

Here’s the Spotify link for the audio book, if that doesn’t work, I would think somewhere like audible might have it. But this book is definitely worth checking out, it’s thrilling, funny, witty & downright scary! & I’m dying to be able to talk about it!

[capquinn]

I always think abt spending time with Quinn during the summer in Michigan. I can’t name specifics but just how fun and peaceful it would be

Summers at the lake house with Quinn are a mix of laughter, lazy mornings, and endless evenings, filled with friends, family, and those little moments that make time feel like it’s standing still.

Mornings always begin slowly, the two of you bundled up in oversized sweatshirts, sitting side by side on the back porch. A gentle mist curls through the trees, drifting lazily over the lake’s surface as sunlight spills in golden streaks across the water, hinting at the warmth to come.

Quinn leans back in his chair, stretching his arms overhead with a satisfied sigh, eyes still a bit sleepy but lit with anticipation.

“So, what do you think, wakeboarding this morning?” he asks, his mouth curling into a playful smile, eyes holding that familiar spark of a challenge.

You raise an eyebrow, smirking. “Only if you promise not to laugh when I inevitably face-plant.”

He grins, nudging your knee with his own, the warmth of his touch grounding. “Can’t make any promises,” he teases, laughing softly.

Out on the lake, it’s a group effort. Quinn’s friends and his brothers are scattered across the boat, offering their own mix of tips and teasing encouragement. Jack leans over the side, grinning as he shouts, “lean back like you’re lounging on the dock!” Luke, trying to be helpful, chimes in with, “And keep your knees bent! Or you’ll end up face-first in the water like last time.”

Quinn, calm as ever, steps in with a steady, “You’ve got this.” His voice cuts through the noise, steady and reassuring.

Finally, when you find your balance and start carving smoothly over the water, a mix of cheers and laughter erupts from the boat.

Quinn’s voice stands out, his pride clear as he yells, “there you go!”

Afternoons at the lake house slide by in a relaxed blur, everyone naturally gravitating toward the basement pool table as the sun hangs high outside. The space hums with friendly rivalry, laughter bouncing off the walls as you all escape the heat.

Jack leans back against the wall, arms crossed, eyeing his brother with a smirk. “Alright, Q, show ’em how it’s done!” he taunts, tossing a cue stick Quinn’s way.

Quinn catches it effortlessly, his eyes narrowing in mock seriousness as he steps up to the table. There’s an amused spark in his gaze as he lines up his shot, his focus steady despite the playful jeers around him. He makes the shot effortlessly, the ball sinking with a satisfying clink, and Luke throws his hands up in exaggerated frustration while everyone groans or laughs, depending on whose side they’re on.

You give him a teasing look, nudging his shoulder. “Lucky shot, don’t let it get to your head,” you say, arching a brow like you’re unimpressed, though the smile tugging at your lips gives you away.

Quinn chuckles, shifting his grip on the cue stick before leaning over, close enough that you can feel the warmth radiating off him. His arm slips around your waist as he plants a quick, affectionate kiss on your forehead.

“Oh, lucky?” he murmurs, his voice low enough that only you can hear. “I’ll show you lucky.” His fingers graze your waist just enough to make you shiver, and there’s a playful gleam in his eye as he pulls back, leaving you grinning, heart fluttering.

Jack lets out an exaggerated groan, rolling his eyes as he catches the exchange. “Alright, lovebirds, some of us are trying to focus here!”

Summer sunsets are the quiet part of the day, where the world seems to slow down and breathe with you. The sun dips low, casting a hazy, golden glow over the lake as you and Quinn sink into oversized deck chairs by the dock. The wood beneath you is warm from the day, though a cool breeze drifts off the water, making it just right. He’s pulled your legs up onto his lap, fingers tracing lazy circles along your shin. His cheeks and nose are tinged pink, his hair soft and tousled from air drying after a dip in the water.

He leans back, eyes half-closed, a grin tugging at his lips. “Alright, favorite part of today?” he asks, a content look in his eyes. “Go.”

You pretend to think, humming thoughtfully. “Oh, I’d have to say watching you get wiped out by that wave after showing off,” you tease, giving him an exaggeratedly serious nod. “Poetic, really.”

He raises his eyebrows, clearly amused. “Right, because you’ve been doing this for, what, a solid thirty minutes?” he teases back, smirking.

“Oh, please,” you shoot back, raising a brow. “I’m still at least twice as graceful as you, Hughes.”

“Yeah? Wanna bet on it?” His fingers give your leg a playful squeeze, his face lighting up with a challenge. “Next time, you’re wakeboarding first.”

“Fine,” you say with a grin, shrugging. “I’ll look forward to showing you how it’s done.”

He chuckles, shaking his head, then glances down at your legs stretched across his lap. “Actually,” he says, leaning back with a smirk, “this might be my favorite part — feet up, view’s decent…” He gestures lazily between you and the lake.

You laugh, nudging his shoulder. “Pretty sure the view’s doing all the work here.”

He shrugs, his grin widening as his fingers keep tracing soft patterns along your skin. “I like it right where I am.”

Evenings are filled with the crackling warmth of a bonfire by the lake. Everyone gathers around, lounging in camp chairs or sprawled on blankets, faces flickering in the orange glow as Luke brings up the “great raccoon incident” from earlier that morning. Jack is laughing so hard he nearly tips his chair, and Quinn reaches over to steady him, shaking his head with a smirk.

“All I’m saying,” Jack wheezes, “is that we really thought it was Quinn sneaking around the trash bins! I wasn’t trying to scare a raccoon — I thought we were about to jump out and scare him.”

“Right, because I’m usually rummaging in the trash at seven a.m. on a Saturday?” Quinn deadpans.

“No, listen,” you chime in, wiping away tears of laughter. “We saw a shadow moving, and we thought it was you, so Jack and I were creeping up, all ready to yell and everything.”

Jack gasps for breath, his laughter spilling out again. “I turned the corner, ready to jump out, and then it’s just this… giant raccoon looking at me like, ‘Who’s this idiot?’”

He loses it again, and everyone around the fire cracks up, the image of Jack gearing up to scare a raccoon sinking in.

“And then you screamed louder than it did!” you manage to get out, setting everyone off all over again, laughter echoing into the warm night air.

Later, the lake is quiet, the kind of warm, easy silence that settles in only when everyone else has drifted inside for the night. You’re out on the dock with Quinn, the faint glow of the fairy lights strung overhead casting soft shadows across the water. It’s still, peaceful, and the air carries that gentle warmth that only late summer brings.

Perched on his lap, you’re curled up with your legs draped over his, one hand weaving through his hair while the other lingers along his jaw, feeling the faint roughness of stubble beneath your fingers. His arm wraps around your waist, fingers spread over your back, holding you close, while his other hand rests on your thigh, thumb brushing idle circles against your skin. The dock shifts slightly with the gentle movement of waves rocking into shore, and the lake reflects back a mirror of stars.

His mouth finds yours, soft and warm, and you savor the faint press, how he tilts his head just so to deepen the moment. You can feel the faint hitch of his breath as your hand traces over the side of his face, fingertips gliding along his cheek before curling at the back of his neck.

Every time he pulls back, it’s just barely — just enough for a breath, a half-smile before he leans back in, brushing his lips over yours in a series of slow, unhurried kisses.

His forehead rests against yours, his breath warm as he murmurs, “This what you had in mind tonight?” His tone is low, teasing, his lips barely brushing yours as he speaks.

You laugh softly, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth, trailing to his cheek, then his jaw, leaving wet marks across his sun-kissed skin. “Maybe,” you reply, your voice playful, “Is that a problem?”

“Not even a little,” he whispers, his thumb brushing the curve of your bottom lip.

His fingers press lightly into your back, grounding you in place as he tilts his head to deepen the kiss, the world narrowing to just the feeling of his mouth on yours and the gentle sway of the dock beneath you. The night stretches on around you, quiet and unhurried, as you lose yourselves in the soft rhythm of it all, the lake and stars bearing quiet witness.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

requests are open - let’s daydream!

[hoe4hotchner]

Farewell, My Friend | [A.H]

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader (x Jack) | WC: 1.9k | CW: Angst, Pet loss, grief, crying, vet scene, doggy funeral scene, discussions of death with child

A/N: Friday night is not for partying, it's for crying. At least I'm crying. This is really really sad

The house was quiet when you woke up, something felt off. Normally, the faintest sound or smell of food would have your dog’s nose twitching, his head lifting from his basket with a spark of interest waiting for you to call for him. But now, he just lay there, curled tightly, his chest rising and falling in shallow breaths. You’d seen him slowing down over the past few months, but this — this was different. His favorite treats lay untouched beside him, and his eyes, once bright and alert, seemed glassy and grey — they were distant. He didn’t even lift his head when you crouched beside him, concern settling into an aching certainty that you knew what was about to happen.

“Hey, buddy…” Your voice trembled as you reached out, smoothing a gentle hand over his fur. His coat was still warm, still soft, but you could feel the frailty in his bones. He blinked slowly, giving you the faintest flicker of acknowledgment. A tear slipped down your cheek, your heart breaking at the sight of him so still, so quiet.

Lowering yourself onto the floor, you lay next to his basket, bringing your face close to his, close enough that you could feel his warm breaths against your skin. You pressed a hand to his back, feeling the gentle rise and fall beneath your fingertips. “It’s okay,” you whispered, voice cracking. “You’ve been so good… You’ve taken such good care of us. We’ll be fine, okay? I’ll be okay.” But the words were more for you than for him, an attempt to soothe the fear settling in your chest. You’d known this day would come eventually, but knowing hadn’t made it any easier.

Tears spilled down, falling onto the blanket under him as you continued to stroke his back, trying to hold onto every last moment. You didn’t want him to see you fall apart, to know how deeply this hurt. But the silence was broken by a small voice behind you.

“Why are you crying?”

You turned, seeing Jack standing a few steps away, his little face filled with confusion and concern. His eyes flicked between you and the dog, searching for an answer. For a moment, you struggled to find the words, feeling the hurt build up even stronger.

Swallowing thickly, you wiped your eyes and patted the floor beside you. “Come here, buddy,” you said gently, and Jack approached slowly, glancing down at the quiet figure in the basket, his brow furrowing in that thoughtful way that reminded you so much of his father.

“You remember how we talked about how some dogs get very, very old?” you said softly, keeping your voice steady for his sake.

Jack nodded, his small hand reaching out hesitantly to stroke the dog’s fur. “Yeah,” he whispered, his eyes widening as he began to understand.

You took a breath, voice shaking as you tried to explain. “When dogs get really old, sometimes they go to sleep… and they don’t wake up. They go to a place where they’re young again, where they don’t hurt anymore, and they get to run around and play all day. We call it heaven.”

Jack’s face crumpled, and he bit his lip, looking back at the dog with a quiet, sad understanding that seemed beyond his years — he wasn't supposed to feel this heartbreak yet. “He’s going to heaven?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nodded, unable to hold back the tears that slipped down your cheeks. Reaching over, you gently pulled him close, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as he rested his head against you. His small hand remained on your dog’s fur, his fingers petting softly, as though trying to say goodbye in his own way.

With trembling hands, you reached for your phone, swallowing hard as you typed out the message to Hotch, who was away on a case. The words felt heavy, final, but you knew he needed to know — he needed to know what he would be coming home to.

It’s time.

The drive to the vet’s office felt like an eternity. Jack sat in the passenger seat, holding your hand tightly. Your dog was cradled in a soft blanket in the backseat, and you stole glances at him in the rearview mirror ever so often. Each look tore at your heart a little more, seeing the once-lively dog lying so still, his head resting on the edge of the seat as if he was simply exhausted.

When you finally arrived, the vet greeted you with gentle understanding, leading you both to a small room filled immediately — away from prying eyes. The room was clearly designed for moments like these with its soft lighting and cozy atmosphere. The vet left you alone as he gave you a quiet moment to say goodbye.

You knelt down on the floor, pulling your dog into your arms as you pressed a tender kiss to his forehead. He lay peacefully, his breathing slow and shallow, as though he understood. Jack knelt beside you, his little hand resting gently on his furry head, his expression mirroring yours. You murmured soft words of love and gratitude, stroking his fur and promising him he’d always be part of your family.

The vet eventually came back into the room, moving with a gentle care that reassured you both. He crouched down, speaking softly as he prepared for the procedure, describing each step with the kind of gentleness reserved for grieving souls. When he asked if you were ready, you managed a small nod, feeling your voice catch in your throat. Jack sniffled quietly but stayed close, pressing into your side, his hand tightening around yours.

The vet administered a gentle sedative first, to relax him, and you felt your dog lean a little heavier against you, his breaths slowing as he began to drift. You whispered to him, your voice choked but steady: It’s okay, buddy… you’re such a good boy…

Finally, the vet administered the final injection, and you held him tighter, feeling each heartbeat grow softer, each breath fading. Jack leaned his head against you, and you both stayed close, united in your grief. You felt his heart stop, his warmth still lingering in your arms. In that stillness, it felt as if a piece of you had gone with him. But as you pressed your cheek to his fur one last time, there was a gentle peace in knowing he was no longer in pain, that his final moments had been filled with love and comfort. The vet made his final checks before officially pronouncing that he had passed peacefully.

Later, when you and Jack had returned home, your dog was gently wrapped in a soft blanket — his favorite blanket, his familiar weight in your arms was comforting despite the sorrow you felt deep within your bones.

The house felt different, quieter somehow, as if even the walls understood what had been lost this afternoon. Together, you stepped out into the backyard, where the last warm light of the sun filtered gently through the trees, casting a golden glow over the grass. It was the same light your dog had once basked in on lazy afternoons, rolling in the grass or lying happily in the sun’s warmth.

Jack stood beside you, watching as you began to dig at the spot you’d chosen near the edge of the yard. Each shovel of dirt felt heavier than the last, the weight of your grief pressing down on every movement. After a moment, Jack knelt beside you, he'd found his toy shovel in the shed to help with the work — the one he reserved for when he was helping Aaron garden. He didn’t speak much, just stayed close, occasionally brushing his arm against yours as he mirrored your movements in silence.

Finally, the hole was ready, and with a trembling breath, you lowered your dog into the small grave, cradling him with the same gentleness you’d shown him every day. Jack reached into his pocket, pulling out a small toy — a little car he’d cherished. Without hesitation, he placed it beside your dog, his hand lingering for a moment as he whispered, “Goodbye, buddy.”

You knelt beside him, saying your own goodbye, your voice catching as you murmured a final, heartfelt thank-you for all the love he’d given. Tears slipped down your cheeks, falling freely, and for a moment, you closed your eyes, remembering the joy, the laughter, the countless memories he’d been part of. The pain was raw, but the gratitude was there, too.

Jack, seeing your tears, wrapped his small arm around your torso, leaning into you with a tenderness that broke and soothed you all at once. “It’s okay,” he whispered softly, his voice filled with a compassion far beyond his years — he had learned from his dad. You felt his small hand resting on your back, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to lean into his comfort, finding strength in the quiet support of a little boy, who you'd come to love as if he were your own.

Night had fallen, wrapping the world in darkness, the house was finally still. Jack was fast asleep, his form curled up peacefully, unaware of the grief settling over you. Out on the porch, you stared at the patch of freshly turned earth in the backyard, the collar of your beloved dog held tightly in your hands. The metal of his tags pressed against your palm, their familiar jingle echoing faintly in your mind, bringing with it a flood of memories and tears.

The tears slipped silently down your cheeks as the moments you’d shared together played through your mind, each one bittersweet. You remembered the warmth of his body pressed against your legs during long winter nights, the way his tail wagged in pure joy whenever you walked through the door, the silent moments when he’d simply rest his head on your lap, offering comfort that words never could. He’d been there for everything, for laughter and heartbreak, for quiet Sunday mornings and busy, chaotic days, for the day you had met the love of your life. He had been with you ever since he was 8 weeks old. And now, that constant, loyal presence was gone.

The door creaked softly behind you, breaking through your thoughts, and a familiar figure settled beside you. Hotch wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. He didn’t speak, didn’t offer empty words he knew wouldn't help — he just held you, his presence enough to ground you in ways that only he knew how to. His hand moved in soothing circles on your back, a gentle rhythm that began to calm the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you.

You let yourself lean into him, feeling his heartbeat steady against your shoulder. Together, you looked out over the yard, at the small grave under the trees, a simple but loving farewell to the friend who’d meant so much.

After a long silence, you found your voice, hardly more than a whisper. “He was a good dog.”

Hotch’s arm tightened around you, and he hummed softly in agreement. “The best,” he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple. You closed your eyes, letting the warmth of his embrace soothe the edges of your grief. Slowly, you felt the weight begin to ease, just a little, just for now, as his presence reminded you that, somehow, you’d find a way to carry on — you had to.

As the night stretched on, you stayed there together in the quiet, watching over the place where love, friendship, and loyalty had been laid to rest, feeling that though a chapter had closed, you wouldn’t have to face the next one alone.

[meikadonnelly]

|| nikki sixx ||

smut.

phone sex is never as good as the real thing.

nikkisixx x fem!reader

❗️warnings : smut, dirty talk, masturbation, unprotected sex, pulling out method (don’t do this), p in v, oral sex (m receiving), handjob (kind of?), fingering. let me know if there are any more please!!!

a/n: sorry for being inactive. i’ve been working on this for way too long. this is my first smut and idk why but i really threw myself in the deep end by making almost the whole thing this type of fic. please don’t be too harsh but i appreciate any feedback!!

“Hi baby,” Nikki whispers into the phone as you sit on the couch in your house, which you usually share with Nikki, alone. He’d called you about five minutes ago, from the random hotel in Washington that the band manager had booked, his show done, and his body aching to hear your voice.

He was due to get back in a few days, but he’d already been away for so long, that those last days were going to be misery. You’ve both been so deprived of each other’s touch that now it’s almost in reach, it doesn’t feel real.

“I miss you,” you whine softy.

“I’ll be back in a few days baby,” he says, his voice a little croaky from back to back shows.

“I know, but I still miss you,” you say. “And your touch.” You hear him chuckle quietly.

“Yeah?” he asks and you give a small mhm in response. “Well you’ll have my touch in a few days, okay?”

You huff and he chuckles again.

“Sounds like someone’s horny,” he teases.

“That’s what happens when you set the standards so high that my fingers barely do anything,” you say nonchalantly. There’s a few seconds of silence. “Nikki?”

“Yeah sorry, my brain just short-circuited and your words went straight to my dick.”

You giggle. “Well isn’t that unfortunate.”

You hear him sigh, his breath a little shaky. “You’re gonna be the death of me baby.”

“Sounds like you’re the horny one now,” you say, a teasing tone playing on your voice.

“Yeah,” he says with a slight chuckle. “I’ve been horny for weeks now.”

“My poor baby,” you tease. “Haven’t even had time to do it yourself?”

He stays quiet for a moment as his lips curl into a smirk. “Who says I’m not doing that right now?”

You raise an eyebrow and you swear he can see you because he chuckles. “You think I haven’t done that before? Jacked off while I was on the phone to you?” he asks.

“I would have heard you if you’d done that,” you say skeptically.

“Not if I know what I’m doing,” he replies. You stay silent for a second before he speaks again. “You want proof baby?” he asks.

“How can you prove that?”

“Just listen.”

You hear some rustling and movement for a few seconds before a quiet, somewhat familiar sound starts.

Slap, slap, slap.

Your eyes widen a little before another few seconds of rustling comes through the phone again.

“Believe me now?” he asks lowly. You find yourself pressing your legs together as he speaks.

“I don’t know what to say, but one thing I do know is that you doing that,” you pause for a second. “Is really fucking hot.”

He chuckles again. “Well if you keep talking like that, you won’t be able to listen for long,” he says which sparks an idea in your mind.

“Talking like what?” you ask innocently.

“Don’t be a tease,” he says which makes you smile.

“I’m just telling the truth,” you say. “I can’t help it if I keep picturing my boyfriend jacking off pretending it’s me.”

He takes a shallow breath.

“But don’t worry baby, you’ll have me and my tight little pussy all to yourself in a few days,” you say softly. You hear him take another breath, this time through his clenched teeth.

“Fuck,” he mutters.

“I even bought some new lingerie for you,” you tell him. “You wanna know what colour it is?”

“Tell me,” he says between breaths.

“It’s red,” you say. “Just like the lipgloss I bought.”

He groans quietly. Red’s his favourite colour. And lingerie is his favourite type of clothing.

“I made sure to get one that doesn’t stain,” you add.

“Yeah? And why’s that?” he asks.

“I’d hate to stain you with it,” you say kindly. “Especially your dick.”

He groans again. “Holy shit,” he mumbles. “Gonna fuck you s’ good when I get home.”

You hum quietly. “You always do baby.”

“Gonna be up all night,” he says.

“Mhm, gonna make me feel good?”

“Fuck yeah baby.”

You can hear his heavy breathing and small groans as he keeps going.

“Fuck,” he mutters.

“You getting closer baby?” you ask. “You gonna come?”

“M’ so close,” he replies.

“Wish I could do it for you,” you say. “My hand full of your big cock.”

He swears again, his hand speeding up.

“Can’t wait to fill that dirty little mouth,” he groans. “Fuck.”

You smile at that for a second before speaking again.

“I forgot to tell you what else I got,” you say.

“What’s that?” he asks.

“Got my first tattoo,” you say and he sighs shakily.

“Oh yeah baby? Where?” he mutters.

“It’s a surprise, but don’t worry, it’s easy to see when your head’s between my legs,” you say, and with that, he groans loudly as he reaches his high.

“Shit shit shit,” he mutters. You stay quiet, waiting for him to speak again. “That’s gotta be the quickest I’ve blown my load,” he says which makes you laugh. “Gotta clean this shit off my hand now.”

The day finally comes where Nikki gets to come home, and holy shit you’re excited.

He’d told you to stay home and wait for him rather than try and fight the crowd of fans that knew Motley Crue would be arriving, so you took the opportunity to prepare for when he walks through the door.

You’d taken a shower earlier that morning and shaved every part of your body that hair wasn’t wanted, leaving your skin soft and smooth.

You’d slipped into the red lingerie that you mentioned to him over the phone, and changed into some ‘quick and easy to take off’ clothes, that still showed off some of his favourite things.

Your ass.

Your tits.

And of course, your neck.

Your neck had been bare for too long, and no doubt, Nikki would agree and have to do something about it.

You made sure to fill the fridge with everything he loves, and ingredients to cook him an endless amount of food, because despite the absolute filth that came out of both you and Nikki’s mouths over the phone the other night, he’s still your sweet, loving boyfriend who you love to look after.

You’d also tidied up the place, not that it was a mess while he was gone, but just making it look as warm and inviting as he missed while he was gone.

After spending the day doing those things, you’re now sitting on the couch, flicking through a magazine while the soft radio that sits above the fireplace plays one of the many old vinyls that Nikki has in his stash.

While quite focused on a page in your magazine, you don’t hear Nikki outside the front door that you’d left unlocked for him. As you flip the page, the door swings open slowly and he steps into the house holding his travel bag. You turn your head to see him which makes a smile appear on your face as you stand up, the magazine being dropped on the floor.

“Nikki!” you yell as you run up to him. He drops the bag and manages to close the door behind him before opening his arms, stumbling back a little when he catches you. His face immediately finds its usual place in the crook of your neck, as his arms wrap around you tightly.

“Fuck I missed you,” he mumbles against your skin.

“I missed you too,” you respond quietly, closing your eyes. You both stand there for what feels like eternity before he kisses your cheek and pulls back to let your eyes meet. His hands stay firmly on your waist while your hands rest on his shoulders.

“How was the flight?” you ask.

“I slept for most of it but yeah it was good,” he replies and you nod.

“Are you hungry? I can make you something,” you say, glancing towards the kitchen before his fingers grab your chin, pulling your attention back.

Before you can even think, he pulls you towards him and meets your lips with his. You kiss him back, the familiar feeling engulfing your mind as your hands slide from his shoulders to the back of his neck so you can bring him closer.

His hands move from your waist and chin, down to your ass where they slide into the back pockets of your tight denim shorts, which makes you pull back to take a breath. His eyes open to reveal a familiar look that you know all too well.

“You been thinking about this since that night?” you ask softly.

“I’d be worried if I wasn’t,” he says, a small smile playing on his lips. “Bet you have too.”

You shrug. “I would never,” you say, smiling through your obvious lie. He shakes his head.

“Don’t try to deny it, I know you’ve been imagining it,” he says.

“You know, I’ve been having a bit of trouble picturing it, maybe you should give a demonstration,” you say, a smug look on your face. He raises an eyebrow.

“Oh really?”

“I mean, if you don’t want to, that’s okay,” you say, slowly pulling back to walk away, but his hands in your back pockets stop you.

“I’ll gladly show you baby,” he says as he pulls his hands out and spins you around, pressing you back against the cool oak door. He dips his head into your neck where he presses a few soft kisses until finally sucking a small red hickey under your jaw, just like you expected he would.

You let out a small sigh as your eyes flutter shut, your hands just under his shirt on his sides. He presses his body further into you, pinning you against the door further while he continues to kiss your soft skin.

His warm kisses continue along your neck and jaw until he finally returns to your lips, where he tastes the sweet cherry gloss you had mentioned over the phone. You feel his tongue swipe along your bottom lip and just like that, his tongue tangles with yours.

His hands trail down from your waist to the back of your thighs, where he taps gently. You respond quickly by jumping up and wrapping your arms around his neck, and legs around his waist before he walks to the bedroom, never breaking the kiss.

Once you two get into the bedroom, he sits down in the end of the bed, letting you straddle his lap. As you continue kissing him sloppily, you feel him grow beneath you, which makes a small moan escape your mouth.

“You miss my cock that much baby?” Nikki teases, the words muffled against your lips.

“You were the one who jacked off on the phone,” you say back in between kisses.

“Barely did anything,” he mumbles. “Had to do it again an hour later.”

“You poor thing,” you tease before he flips you onto your back and crawls over you.

“Gonna try to tell me you didn’t fuck yourself while I was gone?” he says, leaning down to kiss your neck again.

“What makes you say I couldn’t have done nothing while you were gone?” you question, your head flopped back on the bed and your eyes closed. He stays quiet but moves to unbutton your shorts and push his hand inside.

You gasp quietly as he feels you through your panties.

“The fact that you’re this worked up from making out makes me think you’ve been needy the whole time,” he says. “You would have at least tried to do something about it and touch yourself once baby.”

He pulls his hand back out and continues kissing your neck.

“Cocky asshole,” you mutter which makes him pull back to look down at you.

“What was that?” he asks with a smirk which you soon return.

“Just saying how I don’t really have a reason for needing to walk tomorrow,” you say softly. He pauses for a second, the smirk faltering slightly which sends a wave of amusement through you. After a second, he snaps out of his daze and sits up on his knees above you to pull his black shirt over his head.

Your eyes shift from his face to his chest, and then down his stomach where you spot your favourite small, dark trail of hair underneath his belly button that disappears into his jeans. Your stomach flips and your eyes flick back to his for a second before you sit up and slide out from under him.

You get up off the bed and he watches you, a curious look on his face as he turns around and sits on the edge of the bed, leaning back on his elbows to look up at you.

Slowly, you grab the hem of your shirt and pull it over your head, revealing the top half of the red lingerie set you’ve been waiting to show him. Between the strategically placed pieces of small material and the lace that holds them together, Nikki’s eyes don’t leave you, a small smirk on his lips.

Your fingers trail down your sides to the already undone denim jeans, and you tug them over the curve of your hips before letting them fall to your feet, letting the second half of the set display itself.

Just like the bralette, the panties certainly lack the material to be deemed ‘appropriate’, but appropriate was definitely not on your mind when you went shopping. The panties are plain and simple, just like a bikini bottom, only the material is thin and softer, and there’s a lacey garter over the top which includes thin straps down and around your thighs.

You step out of the shorts and walk slowly towards Nikki. He watches and studies every part of your body as you get closer before sitting up a little and reaching one hand out to fiddle with the material on your thigh. You put a hand on his shoulder and lean down to kiss him softly, feeling his lips lock onto yours straight away.

You eventually pull away from him and slowly kneel down on the floor, all while holding eye contact. You slide your hands up his thighs and find the button of his black denim jeans, letting it pop open before pulling down the fly.

He sucks in a breath when you finally pull his boxers down enough to let him spring free, sending a wave of relief through his body now that the restraint is gone. You bite your bottom lip at the sight of his thick cock. The one you imagined nearly every day when he was gone.

You wrap one hand around the base and your other hand rests on his leg, steadying you as you lean in to kiss his tip. You press a few soft kisses there before sticking your tongue out to kitten lick him, which earns you an almost silent groan.

You smile to yourself at the sound before leaning down to lick a stripe from where your hand is, along the vein that runs on the underside of his dick, to the head, where you finally take him in your mouth.

His hips buck ever so slightly and he grabs a fistful of your hair, stopping you from continuing. You look up at him, confused.

“What’s our safe word baby?” he asks softly. Neither of you had ever had to use the safe word you put in place, but anytime it was mentioned, you both knew shit was gonna be good, so you can’t help but feel the excitement that swirls in your stomach.

“Whiskey,” you answer, and he smiles, letting his grip loosen enough for you to wrap your lips around him again.

You start bobbing your head slowly and his head flops back as he groans. It doesn’t take long before he’s guiding your head back and forth, letting his cock slide to your throat, making you gag.

You take a few deep breaths through your nose as tears prick in the corners of your eyes, but you don’t stop. You pump your hand along the bottom of his shaft in rhythm with your mouth while your other hand reaches up to grab his balls gently, squeezing and massaging them just like you know he loves.

“Fuck,” he groans over and over again, his hips bucking as he fucks your throat, causing his dick to slide further inside your mouth, making you moan. The moan vibrates against him and you can tell he’s close. He’s no ‘one pump chump’ by any means, but 2 months without his girl can sure weaken him, which is proven when you feel warm liquid running down your throat.

His head flops back as you swallow everything he gives you, all while never stopping your hand from sliding up and down.

Eventually his dick slides out of your mouth and he sits up to look down at you, still on your knees.

“Open,” he says, grabbing your chin. You do as he says and open your mouth, letting him see the emptiness as proof that you swallowed everything. He smiles and runs his thumb just under your lip, wiping off a small bit of the salty mess that you missed, and he pushes it into your mouth, letting you lick it clean.

Once he pulls his hand back, he speaks, his voice deeper than usual. “Lay down on the bed for me baby.”

Just like before, you follow his order and crawl onto the bed. You lay down on your back and he finds his way on top of you again, his dick grazing your stomach as he holds himself up by his hands either side of your head.

“I really like this outfit,” he mumbles as he leans down to kiss your neck.

“I thought you might,” you reply breathily as he kisses up your neck towards your ear, where he pauses.

“Now what about that tattoo?” he whispers into your ear, making goosebumps appear.

“You’ll have to find it,” you whisper back.

“Hm, any clues?” he asks quietly before nipping at your neck again.

“Lower,” is all you say but it’s enough for him to know the general area of the ink. He starts kissing down your neck to your collarbone and then your chest. You tangle your fingers in his hair which earns a quiet grunt as he continues leaving hot, open mouth kisses down your stomach, until he reaches the waistline of your garter.

He skips over it, letting his lips find their way to the soft material of your panties as his fingers release the clips on your thighs, leaving him the option to take anything off. He glances up at you for a second before sitting on his knees and tugging at the edge of your panties, pulling them as well as the garter off of you slowly.

You watch as his eyes spot the small patch of ink on your hip bone. He studies it for a second and you feel a small bundle of nerves form in your stomach, telling you that maybe it wasn’t a good idea.

“Do you like it?” you ask quietly, feeling extremely exposed to him, and not even because your panties are off.

His eyes snap back to yours and he chuckles. “Do I like it? Baby, it’s perfect,” he says. You were never really brave enough to go get a tattoo, but you’d finally done it, and it was worth every second.

His eyes trail back to the small tattoo which reads:

N.S.

“Wanted to show you how much I love you,” you say, and he smiles.

“I love you too baby,” he replies. “Gonna make that tattoo worth your while.”

Before you can speak, his head is between your legs, kissing the inside of your thighs softly. He keeps his eyes on you and his lips on your skin, watching your reaction as he runs his finger through your folds, making you whimper quietly.

He smiles again the skin of your thigh at your reaction and then does it again before finding your clit and circling his thumb over it gently which makes your hips buck into his hand.

He gives your leg one more kiss before crawling over you again and letting his lips find yours. As his tongue pushes into your mouth, his middle finger and ring finger slide through your folds again, feeling the wetness you’ve created.

You moan softly into his mouth when you feel the tip of his middle finger tease your entrance, and he takes that sound as a cue to slide his thick finger in fully with a quiet squelch. You pull away from his mouth to gasp quietly at the familiar, but amazing feeling that you’d tried to create on your own, but it was never the same.

He looks down at you as he starts to pump his finger in and out of your aching core, using your expressions to guide him.

“That feel good baby?” he asks lowly, already knowing the answer.

You nod. “More,” you say softly, needing to feel fuller, despite the thickness of his current finger. He smirks at your request but doesn’t say anything before pushing his ring finger into you, making you whimpering once again.

“Fuck,” you mutter in between moans, your hands holding onto his shoulders as you pull him back down to kiss you. You’ve just started and you’re already feeling the knot form in your stomach. His fingers never falter from their quick pace, which shows that he hasn’t forgotten how you need it over the past 2 months.

“C’mon baby, I know you’re already close,” he says as he pulls back from your lips. He’s right, because just like him, two months of horniness can sure weigh down on a person. “Need to see you come all over my fingers before you can have my cock,” he tells you. Asshole.

He speeds up his fingers ever so slightly and dips his head down into your neck, sucking on your very obvious pulse point, which makes the knot in your stomach tighten further and further before finally, it snaps.

You feel your body shudder and you hold your breath as you finish on Nikki’s fingers, which still pump in and out of you through your high. As you let out the breath, a moan follows it, but it’s cut off by Nikki’s lips.

He finally pulls his fingers out of you and rubs them against your clit gently until you reach down and grab his wrist, halting his movement which makes him look at you.

“Want your cock,” you mutter, the tone of your voice almost begging. He smiles a little and takes a deep breath.

“Yeah baby? You want me to fuck this little pussy of yours?” he says and you nod. “How do you want it baby?” he asks.

You think for a second as you continue to hold onto his wrist. “Lay down,” you say and he chuckles.

“You wanna be on top this time?” he asks and you agree. He gives you a quick kiss before rolling over onto his back with his head against the headboard of the bed and pulling his jeans and boxers off completely.

You sit up and turn around to look at him. Your eyes trail down to his, once again, hard dick and back up to his face again, where he’s smirking again.

“What?” you ask, a little embarrassed, and he shakes his head.

“Nothing, just like watching your face when you look at my dick,” he says smugly and you roll your eyes playfully at his cockiness before crawling over to him.

You sit and straddle his lap, feeling his cock against your heat as his hands find their place on your hips. You pull off the bralette and throw it somewhere to find later, his eyes dropping to your tits. You put your hands on his chest, which push them together, and look down at him for a second before leaning down to kiss him, causing his dick to rub against you, making you moan into his mouth.

He lets you pull back and then he moves one hand from your waist, down to the base of his cock as you sit up on your knees. He drags his tip through your folds a few times before guiding it to your entrance and looking up at you. You meet his eyes and take a breath before slowly starting to lower yourself onto him.

You close your eyes and bite your bottom lip to muffle to moan the comes out of your mouth when you feel his cock stretch you out, but you keep going until you feel yourself sit back down on him. Once you do, you let out the breath you were holding and open your eyes to look down at Nikki, who’s also letting out a shaky breath.

It’s been so long since you’ve felt him and honestly, his size shocks your body more than you thought. You sit there, not moving and Nikki feels an ounce of worry fill him.

“You okay baby?” he asks softly to which you nod.

“Just need a second,” you reply, and you swear you see his ego grow instantly as he smiles.

After a moment, you slowly raise yourself up a little and then let yourself back down onto him, feeling his cock drag inside of you. He holds onto your hips as you do it again, this time, raising a little higher.

You moan quietly as you set a steady rhythm, letting your head flop back as his cock slides in and out of your pussy.

“Fuck,” Nikki mutters as he looks up at you riding him, a sight he’ll always remember. He brings one hand up to your tit, squeezing it as his thumb runs over your hardened nipple, adding more pleasure to your already growing amount.

He soon puts that hand back on your hip to hold onto you as he thrusts his hips up into you, matching your pace which makes you moan loudly as his cock hits deeper than before.

You lean forward to hold yourself above him by your hands on his chest as you continue lifting your hips and slamming them back down onto his, creating a slapping sound that fills the room. You lean over enough that he sits up and takes one of your nipples into your mouth, swirling his tongue around the sensitive area.

Moans continue to spill out of your mouth while his cock fills you up perfectly and his lets go of your nipple to look up at you.

“So fucking perfect,” he mutters. “Missed you so much.”

You try to respond but it just comes out in a string of whimpers. You want to keep going but you can feel your legs starting to ache and your body growing weaker as your movements slow down. You let your head hang and you close your eyes.

“You getting tired baby?” Nikki asks and you lift your head again to nod. Nikki puts his arm around your waist and pulls you down to lay on him. “I’ll do the rest,” he mutters before flipping you over so that he’s on top, his cock slipping out of you which makes you whimper.

He looks down at you when he hears your whimper and leans down to kiss you. You kiss him back immediately until he moves to kiss your neck. “Gonna fuck you so good,” he mumbles against your skin.

“Please,” you whine and he lifts his head to meet your eyes.

“Please what?” he asks, a small smile on his face. You feel yourself wanting to roll your eyes at his teasing but you know it’ll only make him drag it on longer.

“I need you Nikki,” you say and his smile grows a little.

“Don’t worry baby, you’ll have me,” he says before leaning down and kissing your neck a few times again. He then reaches down and grabs his cock, looking between your bodies as he guides it to your pussy.

Without another thought, he pushes into you with a quiet groan. You moan and your head flops back onto the pillow as he starts rocking back and forth into you. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer, your fingers tangling in his hair and tugging gently, which earns a groan from him.

You wrap your legs up and around his waist which allows him to push further into you, hitting a deeper spot than ever. Your moans get louder and one of your hands slides down to his back, your nails scratching his skin.

As he keeps going, you notice him look down to where you two are connected right now. You follow his gaze and watch as his dick slides in and out of you, the sight turning you on even more. He looks up again and sees you watching which makes him smirk. You meet his eyes which are dark and almost dangerous, and hold eye contact with him for a second before he kisses you roughly.

You moan into his mouth as he keeps thrusting into you, feeling that knot form in your stomach again.

“Nikki I’m gonna-” he cuts you off with his lips again.

“You gonna come for me baby?” he asks you lowly.

“Yes…fuck,” you moan and he reaches down to rub your clit with his fingers.

“Say my name when you come baby, wanna hear you say my name,” he tells you and you nod.

“Please, don’t stop,” you beg.

“Come for me baby, c’mon,” he says, his fingers circling quicker. You feel the knot tightening further and he leans down to suck on your tit, to help push you over the edge, which it does.

Your vision goes blurry and you moan his name loudly as you fall over the edge. He feels you clench around him and he feels himself get close to coming undone too. He fucks you through your high until you relax and he slows down, his thrusts becoming less consistent. He pulls out of you and pumps himself a few times, making him finish, the white spurts landing on your stomach as he groans.

Once he comes down from his climax, he looks down at you and you reach up to pull him down to kiss you. He kisses you softly for a few seconds before looking at you.

“I love you,” he says quietly and you smile.

“I love you too Nikki,” you reply with a smile.

“I’m gonna get you cleaned up okay?” he says before standing up and walking to the ensuite, taking his boxers with him. You hear the tap turn on for a few seconds and then he appears again, wearing the underwear.

He stops at the large dresser that you both share and grabs you some underwear and one of his shirts before walking over to you. He crawls over to you and wipes the mess off your stomach with the damp cloth he took from the bathroom, folding it up afterwards.

He passes you the shirt and you slip it on while he guides the plain black underwear over your feet, sliding them up your legs. “Lift your hips for me,” he says softly, and you do, allowing him to finish covering you up.

He stands up again and grabs the folded up cloth, throwing it into the laundry basket next to the dresser. You watch him with a smile on your face and when he turns around, he notices it.

“What?” he asks with a chuckle. You shake your head and open your arms, ready for him to lay on you, like he always does, especially after sex.

“You’re such a big softy when you’re looking after me,” you say and he shakes his head with a smile as he lays down on you.

“Only the best for my girl,” he says as he buries his face in your neck. You run your fingers through his hair and notice the red scratch marks on his back from your nails.

“Sorry about the scratches,” you say softly and he looks up at you, his chin resting on your chest.

“The more the better,” he says and you laugh before giving him a quick kiss.

“I missed you,” you say as he nuzzles his face in your neck again.

“I missed you too baby.”

[juniperskye]

Who Are You Again?

Based on the following ask: I had another plot thought! Aaron x BAU Reader (female or gender neutral) where Reader disobeys an order to save a victim and gets hurt really bad. Reader wakes up in the hospital to Aaron who is angry at first but then is shocked when it turns out that Reader has retrograde amnesia from the injury. Reader has forgotten their entire career in the BAU and even that They and Aaron were secretly dating! Last thing Reader actually remembers was attending a lecture in college where Aaron was a guest speaker and Reader developed a crush on him! Now Aaron has to carefully navigate helping Reader recover without outing their relationship to anyone else. Or maybe he wonders if it's better they forget? But for a HEA ending definitely Aaron doing something romantic sparks a memory and helps everything come flooding back. @nyxwolph thank you for requesting again and trusting me with your ideas! – I did have to change things up a bit (I struggled big time with this one)

Aaron Hotchner x BAU! Fem Reader

Angst/Fluff

Word count: 5336

REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, age gap, some language, BAU canon typical violence, mention of parent death, mention of kidnapping, mention of Haley and Jack, secret relationship, let me know if I missed any!!

That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

“In chaos theory, the butterfly effect is the sensitive dependence on initial conditions in which a small change in one state of a deterministic nonlinear system can result in large differences in a later state.” Essentially, something as small as a butterfly flapping its wings could cause something as catastrophic as a tornado.  

Aaron wondered what small event happened that led to this moment right now. A moment that would change the trajectory of your lives forever.

*36 hours earlier*

“Garcia has the unsubs location; he’s headed down a backroad just east of the 95.” Aaron said.

“He’s devolving, he’s probably going to try and dispose of his latest victim.” Morgan chimed in.

“Not if we have anything to do with it.” JJ replied.

“His location is being shared with you all, everyone be safe, at this point he’s going to be willing to do anything to avoid prison.” Hotch added.

“I’m close by, I am going to go try and cut him off.” You suggested.

The team expressed their worry and care and urged you to be careful. The only thing you had on your mind, however, was saving the five-year-old boy this unsub had hidden. You drove as fast as your vehicle would allow, you had to get to the unsub. You had to save that boy.

As you got closer to the location Garcia had shared, you could see the dust trail the unsubs car was leaving down the road. You thought about your options, and you made a snap decision. Drive on, no matter the consequences – take out the unsub’s car. So that’s what you did.

You drove forward and your car t-boned the unsubs, only you hadn’t considered that he’d be driving a semi tractor. Upon impact, your SUV was crushed, in your rush to get to the unsub you’d forgotten to put on your seatbelt and your body was ejected through the windshield.

The accident was enough to stop the unsub long enough for the team to arrive. As they surveyed the scene, Aaron’s stomach dropped. He immediately began barking orders, demanding medics, and sending agents to the unsubs’ farm to find the boy.  Throughout everything he refused to leave your side.

*Present Day*

“Sir, we had to place her in a medically induced coma to allow the swelling in her brain to go down.” The doctor explained.

“Is there an estimate as to how long it’ll be until she wakes up?” Aaron asked.

“With these kinds of injuries, it’s hard to say. The brain is a tricky thing, and no two injuries are alike. We just have to wait and see.”

“Thank you.” Aaron said, shaking the doctor’s hand.

Your doctor made her exit and Aaron moved to the seat beside your bed. He gently took your hand in his own placing a kiss to the back of it before returning it to your side. Aaron had thought back to the night everything changed.

*One year earlier*

“Hey Hotch, here’s that report you asked for. You aren’t staying are you?” You asked, glancing at your watch.

“Thanks, and yeah I had a few things I needed to finish up.”

You made your way over to Aaron’s couch, dropped your bag to the floor, and shrugged your jacket off. You pulled your phone out to see what was still open for delivery in the area. Aaron and you had shared many nights like this, spending late nights together in his office. The two of you had grown very close over the years, so much so that David had outright asked Aaron if you two were dating. To which Aaron let out an awkward chuckle and denied the accusation. If only he knew.

“What are you doing? You should head home.” Aaron said.

“Well, you should too, and you aren’t, so I guess that means we’re ordering dinner.” You smiled at him.

“I love you.” Aaron said simply.

“What?” You were stunned.

“I’m sorry, that was inappropriate. I didn’t – I um….”

“Say it again.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Aaron made his way over to you, gently caressed your face and kissed you. It was everything you had ever imagined. There had been this tension between the two of you over the last two years and it was all finally coming together.

After that night, Aaron and you had agreed to keep your relationship under wraps, to avoid any potential disruption to the team, but also any question as to your position on the team. Aaron didn’t want anyone to question the fact that it was your skills and resume alone that got you to where you are.

Yours and Aaron’s relationship blossomed after that night, but not without hardships. Aaron and you faced a lot of adversity in multiple aspects of your relationship; you had a hard time trusting people, Aaron had been self-conscious of your age gap, and you both couldn’t help but feel that you weren’t good enough for the other (not that either of you would bring it up).

*Present Day*

A tear fell from Aaron’s eye, he couldn’t fathom losing you. This was all part of the reason he didn’t want to get serious with someone after Haley, but then you came into his life. You’d come in and made yourself known with your kind eyes and witty charm; how could he not fall in love with you.

Aaron fell for you slowly then all at once, it came naturally, and he couldn’t help it. He knew that the team had their suspicions and honestly over the last year there had been some close calls, but you had ultimately maintained the secrecy of your relationship.

In this moment, Aaron couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt and regret over the fact that he’d asked you to keep things quiet. Had he let the team in on your relationship, he could’ve done a better job at keeping you safe.

*2 Weeks Later*

Aaron had been by your side as much as possible over the last two weeks, which is exactly where he was when you started to stir. Aaron shot straight up in his seat, his hand quickly reaching for your own.

You couldn’t help the groan that escaped your throat, your body hurt so bad, and you felt very confused. You attempted to open your eyes but immediately regretted it – the bright fluorescents adding to the pounding in your head. As you blinked through the brightness of the room, you glanced over to your bedside, noticing a tall man seated there.

“What on earth were you thinking? Driving into the unsub like that, you could’ve been killed. Your actions were reckless and unacceptable.” The man scolded you.

You couldn’t find it in you to reply, your head was pounding. You brought your hand up to your forehead and gently press the heel of your palm into it, hoping to alleviate some of the pressure.

“Sweetheart hold on, I’ll go get your doctor.” A deep voice sounded from your bedside.

Before you could question the pet name, you heard the sound of his dress shoes clicking against the linoleum floors.

The man returned with your doctor; he dimmed the lights slightly on his way back to your bedside. He moved to grab your hand again, to which you shifted, wringing your hands nervously in your lap.

“Hello, I’m doctor Raynor. How are you feeling?”

“Like I was hit by a truck, what happened?” You questioned, giving your doctor and the man a once over.

You recognized the man; it was Special Agent Hotchner of the BAU. What was he doing here? What happened?

“Well, you were involved in an accident, can you tell me what you remember?” Dr. Raynor inquired.

“I um, well, I was leaving a lecture.” Your gaze shifted to Agent Hotchner “Your lecture actually, you were talking about MO’s. I guess the accident was after that?” You couldn’t help but notice Agent Hotchner’s expression faulter.

Your doctor looked over at Agent Hotchner and he shook his head. The two of them seemingly knew something you didn’t. You couldn’t help but feel like you’d just given the wrong answer in front of the class. Dr. Raynor had gone through the rest of your injuries with you, multiple lacerations that had required stitches, a few broken ribs, a broken wrist, and of course your TBI. Once she was done she gave you a somber look.

“Would you excuse us for just a moment? I am going to send in one of your nurses to check you over and I’ll be back in just a moment.” Dr. Raynor said.

“Oh, okay.”

Dr. Raynor and Agent Hotchner left your room, and you tried your best to listen to their conversation.

*Hotch’s POV*

She doesn’t remember me, well us. It’s like the last five years have just disappeared.

“Agent Hotchner, I gather that the lecture she’s referring to did not occur two weeks ago when she was brought in.”

“No, that lecture was nearly five years ago.” I explained.

“This would be a case of retrograde amnesia, if she’s lost recent memories.” Dr. Raynor replied.

“Will her memory return?”

“It’s hard to say.”

While Aaron was completely devastated, he couldn’t help the doubt that creeped into his mind, telling him “This is for the best”.

*Normal POV*

Dr. Raynor and Agent Hotchner looked extremely serious, and you started to feel nauseous. Something was obviously wrong. You watched as their conversation ceased and they made their way back into the room.

Something must have happened, why would Agent Hotchner be here.

“Alright, it would appear that due to the brain trauma you sustained in your accident, you are experiencing what we describe as retrograde amnesia. This is when you can’t recall memories from your past. Based on your most recent memory, it appears as if you’ve lost approximately five years.” Dr. Raynor explained.

“Five years? Five years of memories are just gone. I don’t understand. If that’s true then why are you here?” You asked gesturing to Agent Hotchner.

“Well, you work for the BAU. You have for about three years now.”

“I do? I – I, this is a lot. What does this mean? Have you called my emergency contact?” You asked.

“I uh – I am your emergency contact.” Agent Hotchner spoke up.

“What, why? It has always been my mom, I don’t understand.”

“I’m so sorry, your mom, she uh – she passed last year. That’s when you switched it over to me.” Agent Hotchner’s gaze shifted down to his shoes.

“She’s gone?” Your voice cracked.

“Okay, this has been quite a bit of information. The most important thing right now is getting healthy. We want to keep you here a little longer to continue monitoring the swelling in your brain. Once we’ve confirmed it has gone down, you’ll want to get back in your usual routine, that is the best shot at getting your memory back.” Dr. Raynor gently patted your leg.

“How am I meant to get back to my normal routine when I don’t know it? The one person I had, I just found out is dead.”

“Given that Agent Hotchner is your emergency contact, we would be able to release you into his care. For now, we just need to stay positive.” With that, Dr. Raynor made her exit.

“I know this is a lot, but the BAU, we’re like a family, that includes you. Each member of the team is going to be willing to do anything to help you throughout this process.” Agent Hotchner said.

Part of you knew you could trust him; he had kind eyes, and you knew he was genuine. However, the other part of you felt so hopeless, like a lost kid in a department store. How were you meant to go home with this man who you didn’t know.

*Five Days Later*

“Do you have everything?” Aaron asked.

He had been with you every day for the last five days. He had brought you some things from your apartment and asked you to call him Aaron for now while you were “getting to know him”. You had to admit, it had been pretty nice talking with him the last few days.

“I think so!” You looked over at him. “I know that I am meant to be staying with you, at least until I’m fully healed, but could we go to my apartment first? I’d like to see it and maybe go through some of my things?”

“Of course we can.” Aaron nodded, gesturing towards the door.

The drive to your place was filled with small talk, mostly you asking Aaron questions about the BAU and the time you’ve spent there. It felt weird asking the man who is technically your boss about your personal life.

When you arrived, Aaron made sure to open your door for you and carry your bag into your home. He led you inside and you couldn’t help but notice how comfortable he seemed in your place, like he’d been there before. Like he belonged there. You shook the thought from your mind.

“I got you a new phone, it’s all set up for you.” Aaron said handing you the device.

“Thanks! Were they able to back up the old one? I was hoping to go through old texts and pictures to gather some insight into my life. God that sounds weird.” You huffed out a breath.

“I have our technical analyst Penelope Garcia working on that for you.” Aaron informed you.

“That’s great, thank you.”

The truth was, Aaron didn’t have Garcia backing up your old phone, at least not yet. He knew that if he had brought it to her she would uncover all the private texts and photos that you two had shared over the last year. He didn’t want to risk everyone finding out about your relationship, especially now when he wasn’t sure what your future would hold.

Aaron watched you as you made your way around your apartment. You wandered slowly around letting your fingers graze the spines of books on your shelves, picture frames on the walls and tchotchkes that were strewn about your desk and shelves. 

He so badly wanted to pull you into his arms, kiss your head and tell you that everything was going to be okay. He wanted you to know that he wasn’t just your boss. But he also thought about all the things that could go wrong if he told you. You could question your own ethics and fall into self-loathing with the thought that you’d potentially slept your way to the top – this was the furthest thing from the truth, but he knew you and the way your mind spiraled. He wondered if it would just be easier if he let you find yourself all on your own, to let this thing between you go and hope that maybe you’d find your way back to him again.

When he looked over to you once again, he saw that you had found a photo album. It was one he was very familiar with; Garcia had gotten it for you on your 1-year BAU anniversary and filled it halfway. Since then, you’d continue to add to it all the photos you’d taken with the team.

You hadn’t realized you were crying until a tear had fallen onto the picture you were currently examining. Your emotions were running high, looking through the album was so strange it felt like looking at a stranger and yet it was you in photo after photo looking happier than ever with these people you couldn’t remember.

You felt the couch dip beside you and Aaron gently rubbed his hand up and down your back.

“I can’t imagine how overwhelming this all must be. I know that I can’t understand but I am here for you and I’m happy to lend an ear if you want to talk about it.” Aaron quietly soothed you.

“Thank you so much Aaron. I just don’t know how to wrap my head around this being me but not remembering it. Clearly you all mean so much to me and yet I have no recollection of any of this.” You sobbed.

Aaron and you sat like that on your couch for a while. He gave you the time you needed to calm down, while holding you, whispering sweet nothings to you. You felt oddly comfortable there in his arms, your mind shifted to the thought that enjoying the way his arms felt around you was also incredibly inappropriate given that he was your boss. At that thought you shifted slightly. You thought back to why you had signed up to audit Aaron’s lecture and while the main reason was the knowledge he’d lend you, a part of you allowed his looks to give you that final push in signing up.

“I should probably grab a few things so we can head out.” You whispered.

“Do you need any help?” Aaron asked.

“I should be okay, but I’ll let you know!”

Aaron drove the two of you back to his apartment, for the time being he had asked Jessica to keep Jack, this way you could adjust, and Jack also wouldn’t out your relationship. Aaron had his guest bedroom set up for you, he’d set it up with some of your favorite things. A lavender scented candle, extra pillows, a fluffy blanket, and he made sure to set a small trinket dish on the dresser, so you’d have a place to put your jewelry.

These of course were all things Aaron had previously had at his place for you. When you two had gotten increasingly more serious, he encouraged you to leave some stuff at his place and he’d gone as far as to supply some of your favorites around his home for you.

Aaron led you into his home and you couldn’t help but glance around, really taking in your surroundings. You couldn’t help but take note of a few things as he showed you around; there was a photo missing from the side table next to the couch (you could see the tiny bit of dust that must’ve collected around it), the pantry was stocked with quite a few of your favorite snacks, there was a pink coffee mug in the cabinet, and lastly, tucked under the shoe rack near the front door were a pair of fluffy gray slippers.

You couldn’t explain why, but there was a slight pang of jealousy in you as you thought of Aaron having a girlfriend. You knew you had no right to feel that way and it would be incredibly inappropriate, but it was a gut reaction.

*One Week Later*

Aaron and you had fallen into a weird sort of routine, it started to feel a lot like the 50’s, you making dinner and cleaning while he worked. You were starting to get a bit stir crazy, which is exactly why you were so excited today. Garcia would be coming by to see you; she was bringing over a bunch of photos and videos of you with the team throughout the last three years.

It was a paperwork catch-up day for the BAU, so Aaron had given Penelope the go ahead to take a long lunch and spend some time with you. So, when a knock on the door rang through the apartment, you couldn’t help the burst of excitement that coursed its way through your veins.

“Hi Penelope!”

“Hey babe! How are you feeling?” She asked, giving you a look of concern.

“I’m feeling pretty good, you know, except for the missing five years of memories thing.”  You let out a low chuckle.

“Oh goodness! Well, I’ve brought a ton of stuff that might help bring some stuff back. I read that sense of smell is the sense that links with memories the strongest so have a bunch of things for you to smell while you look at photos in hopes something will come back to you.”

“That sounds like a great idea!” You smiled at Penelope.

The next hour or so went by with Penelope showing you photos and videos along with passing you various items to smell in hopes of bringing back some of your memories. And while it wasn’t like a wave crashing over you, bringing all your memories back, it did bring some things back. You could remember the members of the BAU and some of their quirks, you remembered the feeling of being in the bullpen (thanks to the smell of some very burnt coffee). What you were struggling to regain was your emotional memories, you couldn’t quite pinpoint the relationships you had with anyone from the team. 

“I am glad that this helped! I should probably get out of your hair though; I can tell you have headache.” Penelope

“Thank you Penelope, I really appreciate all of this!”

You led her to the door, and she reminded you to get some rest and to take it easy. She also suggested that you come by the BAU for lunch in the next week or so to see everyone. The team had been doing a good job of not overwhelming you and allowing you time to get back in the swing of things.

“Oh, Penelope before you go, did you get a chance to back up my old phone? Aaron said you were working on it.”

“Oh, hon. He must’ve forgotten to mention it, but I will get started on that right away! I’ll text you as soon as I’m done, okay? We will just be able to pull the backup and put it on your new phone!” She said pulling you into a tight hug, before making her exit.

Why would Aaron have lied to you about your old phone? Maybe Penelope was right, and it just slipped his mind, he had been dealing with a lot, taking care of you, and having you stay with him.

You hadn’t meant to snoop, honestly, but after having talked with Penelope, the feeling Aaron was hiding something from you was extremely prevalent. You decided to look around a bit, you know, while putting the laundry away. You needed to put the towels away in Aaron’s bathroom, you just happened to notice the second toothbrush in the holder, the dress hanging inside his closet (come on, the door was already open), the ring box tucked in his sock drawer, what shocked you the most were the photos in the hall closet. It was a photo of him and a tall brunette that had you spiraling, where was this woman? You had clearly been invading his space long enough and you couldn’t bear the thought of coming between him and this woman who was to be his fiancé.

You needed to get back to your life, and out of Aaron’s hair. You decided that you’d tell him that night over dinner, you were going to move back home.

“Hey, I’m home!” Aaron called.

“Hey, how was your day?” You asked.

Aaron explained that his day was good, and he asked you about your get together with Penelope as you finished up dinner. Aaron set the table as you followed behind him plating up the food.

“I’m glad to hear things went well with Penelope. I think lunch with the team is a great idea.”

“Aaron I’m gonna move back home.” The words flew out of your mouth faster than your brain could catch up. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want to impose on your life any more than I already have.”

“It’s truly not an imposition, but if that’s what you want.” Aaron looked deflated.

“I just think it’s important we both get back to our usual every day.”

“If you think that’s best.”

You two ate in silence. Afterwards you both went to the kitchen, cleaned up the dishes and made your way to your separate rooms. You began packing up your belongings and Aaron scrolled through photos of the two of you from before the accident.

*Two Days Later*

“Good morning gorgeous!!! I am calling to inform you that the backup from your old phone is ready, and I also think it is the perfect day for you to come in and have lunch with everyone!” Penelope sang over the phone.

“Okay, what time should I come down there?”

“Ummm maybe around 12:30? Everyone is usually ready to eat by then. I can call and order in something too!”

“Oh, and uh Pen, I don’t know the address, and I’m not cleared to drive.” You said shyly.

“Oh shoot, okay! I’ll see who is available to come and pick you up, no worries.” Penelope reassured you.

You took some time getting ready, most of the team hadn’t seen you since before the injuries, and while the cuts and bruises have faded and scarred, you still had a very broken wrist and frequent headaches, along with PTSD and anxiety attacks thanks to the TBI. You felt like you had been doing well, and based on your recent check-up with your neurologist, things are trending up in regard to your health. Though you began to worry that the worst had yet to come.

A knock on your door shook you out of your thoughts, as you made your way to answer it, you wondered who Penelope sent to get you. Pulling the door open revealed someone you were hoping you wouldn’t see so soon.

“Hi Aaron.”

“Hello, were going to go pick up the food on the way back to the BAU, if that’s okay.” Aaron explained.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” You nodded.

The drive was filled with tense silence. You couldn’t help but wonder why Aaron would harbor any negative feelings towards you. You’d only moved out of his apartment so he could get back on to his life, if anything he should be grateful that you’ve gone home. One of the main reasons you’d really decided to go home was because of the fact that you were growing far too comfortable.

Things at Aaron’s house were starting to feel right, like it was where you belong. You had no idea how you had been able to work with him over the last few years, the crush you had on him all those years ago had only proven to grow stronger.

“I’ll run in and grab the food.” Aaron said, pulling you out of your thoughts.

Before you could reply, he stepped out of the car and made his way into the restaurant.  

Aaron got you signed in with a visitor’s badge (as you weren’t cleared to work) and then he led you up to the sixth floor, BAU bullpen. Upon walking in, you felt an odd sense of familiarity. You knew that it would make sense for the BAU to bring memories back and that you would have muscle memory to help lead you through the building, but it felt very strange.

You looked over at Aaron, “I need to go see Garcia, do you mind pointing me in the right direction?”

“Of course, her office is that way. Second door on the right.”

“Thanks.” You smiled.

You wandered through the corridor, catching a glimpse of Garcia through her open door. You lightly knocked on her door and walked into her office.

“Oh! Hello gorgeous!” Garcia squealed, standing, and pulling you into a hug.

“Hey Pen!”

“Let’s get your phone squared away and then we will go eat.”

You handed your phone over to Penelope and she began downloading the last backup from your old phone.

“This should only take a few minutes.”

Penelope and you made idle chit chat for a few moments while waiting on your phone. When it finished uploading, she unplugged it and handed it to you. The two of you then made your way to the bullpen.

Lunch with the BAU was overwhelming to say the least. It was fun talking to everyone, but you could tell everyone was walking on eggshells and you could see the pity flash behind their eyes as you sat and explained your lack of memories with the people sitting before you.

After lunch, Aaron let everyone leave early. It had been a paperwork day and the team had been very productive. He told them all to go home, but of course to leave their phones on, just in case they had to leave. Emily offered to drive you home, given the close proximity of your apartments.

When you got home, you changed into some comfortable clothes and sat on the couch. You took a deep breath and unlocked your phone. There were two things you noticed while going through everything, the first being a significant number of photos saved and the second being the texts exchanged between you and your boss.

You decided to go through the photos first. There were plenty of you with the various members of the BAU, but what caught your attention was one image in particular, in it, you were laid in bed with your head resting on a man’s chest…the man being none other than Aaron.

You quickly switched over to your messages app. Clicking Aaron’s name, you saw the most recent text…

“Be careful sweetheart. I love you.”

Your mind was racing, what were you meant to think, why would he keep this from you? Was the ring meant for you? You needed to see him.

You ordered an Uber and made your way to the FBI building. You signed in, getting a visitors’ badge and headed up to the sixth floor.

“Aaron” You called out into the bullpen.

“Is everything okay? What are you doing here?” Aaron asked as he walked out of his office.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?” Aaron questioned.

“That we were together.”

You gestured to your phone. Aaron dropped his gaze for a moment, before looking back to you. You could see the pain behind his eyes.

“Sweetheart, we had been keeping it a secret, and I don’t know, I guess I thought that maybe you’d be better off. I figured you might find someone more appropriate for you.”

“That wasn’t a choice for you to make. Aaron things have been confusing enough, losing my memory. But to have you lying to me, it’s total bullshit. How am I supposed to get my memories back if you are keeping such a big part of me a secret.” You couldn’t help the frustrated tears from slipping down your cheek.

Aaron reached for you and let his thumb brush the tear off your cheek. He stepped closer to you and brought his other hand to your cheek.

“I am so sorry. I should’ve told you from the get-go, I was scared. I thought that maybe I would tell you and you’d have to get to know me again and maybe you wouldn’t love me the way you did before. I also couldn’t help but think that I don’t deserve you and this was your perfect out. But that was selfish, I should’ve told you the truth.”

You leaned your head onto Aaron’s chest, and he wrapped his arms around you. He pressed a gentle kiss to your hairline and then he pulled back.

“Can I show you something?” Aaron asked.

You nodded and followed him to his office. Aaron led you around his desk and gestured for you to sit in his chair. He pointed to his computer screen, and you took note of the screen saver. It was a slideshow of pictures taken throughout your relationship, there were pictures of you at the FBI Gala, Jack’s soccer game, art museums, at Aaron’s home, at your apartment, etc..

It happened slowly, then all at once. A warm feeling flooded your veins, and a dull ache filled your head. Tears were steadily streaming down your face. You looked up at Aaron, and he met your gaze. A moment was shared before understanding washed over Aaron.

“I remember.”