#(one of the names for mary the mother of jesus)

[tenderloviingcare]

dolori su dolori

7:30 A.M.

Morning breaks as gray as ever, like countless Alaska mornings before, and Leonardo lays on his stomach in bed, sheet and quilt around his waist, as he sighs about another day—another year—being alive. Cloe, the tortoiseshell of his trio of long-haired siblings, notices he's awake and begins making biscuits on his rear end. Her claws piercing through two covers, his pajama bottoms, and his boxers is more than enough reminder to give her a mani-pedi soon.

He lays there a while longer, as always finding it difficult to muster up the energy to move. It isn't as though he's regular tired, no; it's the exhaustion that sits as deep as the marrow in his very bones, the type that makes his entire existence feel heavy, the type that makes him wish he could wither and dissolve and be swept away by the wind.

He's never outright contemplated suicide. It's simply been smoldering inside of him from an age entirely too young: he shouldn't exist, and he sure as hell doesn't want to. The will to live has been running on fumes, so to speak, for longer than he can remember.

The physician closes his eyes again briefly, exhaling every bit of air that's inside of his lungs. If he died in his sleep, and his cats had begun to eat him, the people to notice would just be his workplace, he's convinced of it.

And that right there is what keeps him going. His chest aches at the idea of leaving his cats behind, and making them distressed. And even though there are other pediatricians who can care for his patients, they're the other light of his life. He doesn't want them wondering where Dr. Leo went.

With waning resolve, he maneuvers to sit up, the covers falling back and exposing his arms to the cool air of his bedroom. He rubs the inked skin to warm it back up, but he can't help but to allow his fingertips to linger over the scars on his right arm, right through the name tattooed there. Cirrincione, it had said in thick cursive script, his grandmother's maiden name and the middle name he had chosen for himself upon her passing, replacing the ridiculous multi-parted middle name he'd been so graciously gifted upon his birth. Now, scars from the attack in the morgue score through the name; they've healed mostly, leaving behind pinkish scarring in his tanned skin.

Sparrow, the name means, from Sicilian cirrinciò, to go with the black and gray birds etched into his other arm. The poetic irony isn't lost on him: he is untethered and alone, free like a bird in theory, but caged by his very own sorrow.

The first order of business when he drags himself out of his warm, cozy bed is to change into his running clothes, shorts, a t-shirt, and a jacket—hardly anyone knows about the tattoos on his arms and chest, due to his typical manner of dress, and he likes to keep them his personal secret. In the kitchen, he takes his normal pills that help him produce an inkling of serotonin, with a full glass of water. Like any good, seasoned runner, he stretches fully, then fills a bottle with water and puts his shoes on. He grabs his keys but leaves his cell phone behind, locking the door before he takes off outside.

It's chilly, only in the mid-40s, but he's run in worse conditions. The goosebumps that cover his skin don't bother him, he'll soon be plenty warm. He takes off on his usual run through Delilah's Den, taking in the typical peace of an early Sunday morning. He's liked living here the past few years; it's picturesque, and safe—up until a few weeks ago, when that blasted Doppelganger head showed up on his back patio.

His pace quickens when he reminds himself of it, of being accidentally entangled in Annisa’s affairs, whatever those affairs are. He certainly wasn't supposed to get involved: he’s a footnote in everyone's lives, a nameless extra, an ineffectual side character, not important enough to be worth any trouble, someone worth forgetting in every sense. He had only fought so hard and defended himself so he could ensure Annisa’s safety. So why does he continue to be involved? By no means is he worth the trouble of tracking down, nothing remotely interesting about him, the only secrets he holds to his chest involving his parentage.

When pain surges in his jaw, he realizes he needs to unclench it. Being neglected by his birth giver from the moment of conception is surely the source of many of his problems now. Unimportant, unwanted, unloved, burdensome, unwanted, unloved!!! Years after their passing, he still feels guilt over his grandparents having to sell the deli that had been in Nonna’s family for a few generations because they had felt responsible to clean up their only living child’s actions. Because of Leonardo’s very existence, his grandparents had had to get rid of the beloved family business and move continents to somewhere they didn't even speak the language, and build life from the ground up. And later they would each die thousands of miles away from their homeland, sooner than they should have with no thanks to the excessively expensive American healthcare system.

All because Leonardo had to go and exist.

Tears sting his eyes and roll down his cheeks, but he keeps moving. For some godforsaken reason, he keeps moving.

He returns home around an hour later, cheeks red with exertion, sweat shining on his forehead. When he strips down in the bathroom, he faces away from the mirror, not wanting to hazard a look at his own body or face. When he's in the shower and the water hits his skin, the tears return, shaking his shoulders. He likes to run to force himself to feel something other than numbness or anxiety, but now he's gone and induced anger in himself—anger at himself for just being alive. His head leans back and the water from the shower head mixes with the tears on his face, and he just stands like that for entirely too long.

When the emotional numbness returns, he autopilots through washing himself, still feeling robotic when he shuts the water off and grabs his towel. The mirror is now fogged up, so he can't look at himself again, though unfortunately he falls prey to the mirror on the dresser in his bedroom.

Skin and bones, no matter how much he feeds himself—he’s always had a big appetite and eats mostly an Italian diet he cooks for himself—and dark curls of body hair splashed over him, he's never imagined anyone ever wanting to see him in this state, undressed and defenseless. He's incapable of seeing anything attractive in his own face or personality, so why would they ever want him so bare? And even then, they would probably be sorely disappointed by the sight. He's simply just some thin, tall man with too many bones jutting out. The words inked into his chest under the dark fur there are slashed similarly to the name on his right arm—per sempre e sempre nel mio cuore, written in thick cursive, but destroyed by healing scars.

And then, his face. He's never been fond of his features: the strong, bumpy nose; the wide lips permanently set into a scowl he doesn't want; dark, thick brows that give him an intimidating glare; and permanent bags under his serious, russet-colored eyes. He always looks like he's angry, and he hates it. And now his cheek is decorated with scars that match the ones on his arm and chest. He's taken care of the scars there, paranoid about lasting marks that will further mar his appearance and make him seem even scarier to patients.

He tears himself away from his reflection before he can waste entirely too much time staring it down, and instead busies himself with getting dressed. Comfortable jeans and a double-layered henley work well enough for the day; pushing his thick, dark hair off his forehead in a more relaxed form of his daily hairstyle, he goes to have breakfast: a cup of espresso, made from his expensive machine, and a Nutella-filled cornetto he'd made the day before.

Having Gino, the classic tabby and only boy of his sibling trio of cats, curled up in his lap, against his stomach, while Leo has his breakfast makes a tiny part of him begin again to feel like life is worth living.

In the grand scheme of things, it's just another Sunday; so the physician goes to do his grocery shopping. The store is blessedly empty this time of the week so he's able to move around with minimal intrusions. He's spotted by a young patient—who's with his mother, of course—who's shocked to see his doctor somewhere besides the hospital; and Leo exchanges smiles and quick greetings; but he's happy to not get tied up in a conversation, especially with as fragile as he's feeling today.

Once he returns to his safe, cozy home and puts away his shopping, he curls up in bed with a book, as he is wont to do on weekends. It's a smutty romance novel that he's been looking forward to; and his cheeks are hot as he devours the pages eagerly, getting himself wrapped up in the story. Someone as anxious and unattractive and simply boring as him having never even kissed anyone at the ripe age of thirty-six, much less had a torrid romantic affair or been to bed with anyone—at this point, he doesn't expect it to happen. Oh, he certainly wishes it would! How he craves to be chosen, to be loved, to be desired in every which way, how he aches to be kissed until he's out of breath, to be made love to with his hot, sweaty skin stuck to another's! 

But whatever God had forsaken him, who he'd forsaken right back, did not make Leonardo to be loved. He was the object of no one’s affections or desires, and hardly the target of even platonic care.

The book isn't very long, and he finishes it in the afternoon, a blush still heating the back of his neck from the lush, sensual details of the romantic and bedroom affairs of the two men on the pages. He scrubs his face with his dry hands, bringing himself back to earth, and to his quiet bedroom. It's about time he started working on dinner; so he wanders into the kitchen, still in a smutty literature haze, and stands quietly in the center as he tries to remember what he wanted to make.

Right. He gathers several things, first: a package of smoked salmon, a package of salami slices, a container of marinated mozzarella balls, some pickled peppers, a jar of marinated mushrooms, a hunk of goat cheese, sun-dried tomatoes, and a jar of olives. The assembly on a plate would probably seem expert to anyone unfamiliar, but his portioning is haphazard and driven by the heart; but with his antipasti gathered, he snacks on that while he works on the actual dinner. The entire time he cooks, Gino rests upon his shoulders, watching intently and digging his claws in to stay upright.

He doesn't eat meals with several courses all the time—it isn't very time-efficient—but it feels like a good day to indulge. So the course after antipasto is pasta; and the fruit of his labor is pasta ca nunnata: spaghetti, olive oil, garlic, parsley, white wine (the only type of alcohol that enters his door is cooking wine), black pepper, and sardines. Cooking is one of the things he's passionate about, especially when it comes to recreating the cuisine of his forefathers. He's pretty damn good at it, if he says so himself, for someone who's only spent a couple of weeks in Italy his entire life despite being a citizen by birthright.

After the pasta is the main dish: pollo alla cacciatora, braised chicken thighs in a rich tomato sauce, with onion and carrots and celery and olives and fresh cherry tomatoes and fennel and capers and white wine and plenty of garlic. It's hearty and filling and it feels so satisfying on an evening with a growing chill. And God, how he wishes he could share it with somebody besides the three cats watching him.

Satisfied with dinner, he washes most of the dishes by hand and puts away the leftovers in the refrigerator, intending on having leftovers for lunch tomorrow at work. With little else to do for the evening, he curls up on the couch with a blanket and turns the TV on, content to binge whatever old movies are playing. To his utter delight, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner is on, starring Sidney Poitier, one of his favorite actors—and an absolute heartthrob in Leonardo's eyes. Maria Pia, the dilute calico and seemingly the leader of her siblings, happily takes a nap in his lap; and he strokes her long fur as he watches the film he's seen countless times, and then the movie after that. When she decides to get up, he unwraps himself from his blanket and returns to the kitchen to feed the cats their nightly wet food; and then finally cuts himself a slice of the cake he'd spent half the previous day making: torta setteveli, seven layers of chocolate and hazelnut goodness. He returns to his movie marathon with his cake and a glass of milk while the cats have their own dinner. He's deemed not to check his email or social media, hoping his birth giver isn't begging him for money yet again, the only reason why she ever attempts to contact him.

Around 9:00, he turns off the TV and leaves only a singular lamp in the living room on. He cleans up the plate he'd used for his slice of cake, then takes a pill that will help him sleep. He's rigid with his structure and routine, never allowing himself to fall out of it, and always retires to bed somewhat early.

After washing his face and brushing his teeth, he changes into his pajamas, the usual combination of flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt, then crawls into bed and turns his bedroom TV on, halfway watching a nature documentary as he settles in for the night. It's a boring life, a boring existence—he's boring. Inconsequential. Harmless. Pointless.

When he turns off the TV and the lights and rolls over in bed, tears sting his eyes again, clouding the dark room. Even with a cat at the foot of the bed, he's cold and lonely, and wishing he had someone to calm the shaking of his bony shoulders, someone to rub his back as he's wracked with quiet tears. Thirty-six years, and he feels like more of a waste than ever.

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚, 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚 🫀

max verstappen x singer!fem reader // smau

⤷ summary: when max verstappen starts commenting on the posts of the beloved singer y/n l/n, fans are confused and less than enthusiastic at the new friendship. what they could never expect is just how long they've been 'friends'...

based on this request <3

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liked by sabrinacarpenter, maxverstappen1, and 46,908 others

tagged sabrinacarpenter

ynusername my new album is now officially out on all platforms! thank you so so much for all of the love and support, and special thanks to sab for her feature on the song <33 love u bb girl 🫦🫦 now that the album's out, tour next!!! see you all soon!

23,560 comments

user1 THE ALBUM OUT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

user2 i cannot be normal about this i fear

user3 ik her back hurts from CARRYING the music industry on her back 😩

user4 hey so WHO TF IS SO AMERICAN ABOUT?? A LOVE SONG

user5 y/n writing a love song in god's year of 2024... wow

user6 y/n in the top 10 charts, fork found in kitchen

user7 sabrina and y/n are never beating the gf allegations

ynusername damn right we're not 😏

user7 HOLY SHIR HOKY SHIT HOKST SHUT

user8 y/n's in love and it's not with me, hanging myself as we speak

user9 the comment is gonna get reported but so real op

user8 can't a woman hang herself in peace 😣

user10 album's such a banger i had this shit bumpin at my grandmas funeral 🙏🏼 rest in piece nancy 🕊️💪🏻

user11 OH MY GOD???

user12 rest in piece nancy you would've loved make you mine 😔

ynusername oh my god please tell me your joking

user10 sorry queen the grind never stops

ynusername NO SHOT

maxverstappen1 great album! 👍🏼

user13 why does he text like my father 🧍🏻‍♀️

user14 brother eughh

user15 what da hell is a polar bear doin in arlington texas

ynusername thank you max!!!

user16 y/n l/n to redbull in 2025

user17 hellurrrrr who is this man in ur likes y/n

user18 f1 driver!!

user17 Y/N NO ATHELETES PLEAEJEWK 🫵

user18 tour content soon??? i'm sat

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user19 bro looks like he snuck onto earth, get his ass outta here

user20 grammy-award winner, vogue cover model, new york university graduate and Some Fucking Guy

user21 not y'all coming to her defense like the mighty morphin power rangers 💀💀 he's literally a world class athete and she writes pop music

user20 17.172.224.47

user21 IS THAT MY IP ADDRESS??

user20 melinda charleton

user22 IS THAT HIS MOTHER'S NAME!!?1?1!

user20 you want me to do you too???

user22 no we good 😃

user23 ruth bader ginsberg did not die for this

user24 now wtf does this have to do with babe ruth 🤨

user25 WHOOOOO 😧

user24 ... that wasn't right was it

user26 now let's be fr he does NAWT have a chance

user27 have u seen the marble-carved  goddesses these men pull, i fear he does 😔

user28 please no i feel ill

user29 TWO???? OH HELL NAW

user30 two might be pushing it, only one was confirmed

user31 jesus christ

user32 first taylor, now this

user33 yall, all he commented was great album 💀💀 yall are LEAPING to conclusions

user34 what can i say it's an art

user35 i do not see 👁️👄👁️

user36 no like 💀💀 im in your walls

user37 haha max verstappen!! right!!! (theres a sniper at ur location)

user38 omg ur so right 🤩 it is about him (i have a bomb strapped to my chest)

user39 i dont mean to sound stupid, idk who that man is, if i saw him on the streets i wouldnt know a thing 🥱

user40 this is so random too like what 😭

user41 the power of kindness won't work here, i have to throw him off a building

user42 i used to be a max verslsjjwwo lover 🤩 now im just a max verslsjjwwo hater 😔

user43 NURSE 🫵 SHE'S OUT AGAIN

user44 why would u put that into the universe 😧

user45 alright, lets get you to bed grandma

user46 mari stop being delusion and go touch grass 🧍🏻‍♀️

user47 ENOUGHHHH

user48 ain't no way in hell 😭

user49 ik ur feet hurt from all this jumping to conclusions babe

user50 lets leave the parkour to the athletes 😃

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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 54,789 others

ynusername italy thanks for letting me be inside you (; it was such a lovely show, expect me back asap!!!!

15,267 comments

user51 IT WAS SO GOOD I THNK I BLACKED OUT THE WHOLE TIME THO

user52 oh!

user51 oh so now this isn't a safe space

user53 LANDO AND MAX IN TGE LIKES??? NO NO NO NO

user54 ABORT ABORT ABORT

user55 y'all are doing too much 🙄 she's one of the top artists in the world, i think it's safe to say they might like her music

user56 the second picture 🧎🏻‍♀️do you need a stool cause i can kneel and be really quiet

user57 y/n fans be normal challenge (impossible!!!) (never done before)

user56 WOMP WOMP

maxverstappen1 wonderful show! 🙏🏼 you are so talented

ynusername ty max (: im glad you could come see me

user57 ain't NO WAYYYYYY

user59 THIS IS SIXKENJNG IM GONNA PUKE

sabrinacarpenter my gf looking sexy 🫦🫦🫦

ynusername only for u bbg 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

user60 BOOOO 🗣️ GET A ROOM

user61 do y'all need a third!!!!

user62 mamma mia pizza pasta mozzerella moment

user63 i just put u on a watchlist

user62 🧍🏻‍♀️

landonorris RAHHHHHH 🦅🫵🗣️‼️

ynusername RAHHH RAHHH RAHHH RISE POWER POWER 💪🏻‼️

user63 what the fuck

user64 OH GOD WHAT IF SHES DATING HIM????

ynusername brother eughhhh

landonorris WHAT THE FUCK????

user65 SINCE WHEN IS SHE FRIENDS WITH F1 DRIVERS HOW MANY CHAPTWRS DID I MISS

user66 apparently we all went into a universal coma while she was out galavanting cause idk how else this could've happened

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maxverstappen1 posted to his story!

(caption: beautiful show)

22,456 replies

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user67 someone save my girl bro, she don't know any better 😭

user68 it's like a little kid trying to touch the hot stove, LIKE STOP THAT!! DON'T DO THAT

user69 am i the only one who thinks they'd be cute together....

user70 YES!?!?

user71 there is literally no fucking way he bagged her

user72 losing y/n to european f1 driver would be the biggest american tragedy since 2001

user73 i had to read this shit twice, op what r u waffling abt 🫵😧

user74 can't even be nonchalant about this one bro, i'm chalanting hard asf

user75 we do not care

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liked by redbullracing, f1, and 78,567 others

tagged maxverstappen1

ynusername first time in monaco, safe to say i enjoyed myself! so happy to see you shine this time my love<3

25,788 comments

user76 oh. my. fucking. god

user77 THEYRE FUCKING DATING OH MYFODNSJ

user78 THAT SHOULD BE MEEEE HOLDING YOUR HAND THAT SHOULD BE MEEE MAKING YOU LAUGHHH 🎤

user79 i'm in mourning

sabrinacarpenter CHEATER 🫵

ynusername BABY IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, IT WAS JUST ONE TIME 😣😣😣 IT WAS A MISTAKE

maxverstappen1 we've been dating for 2 years??

sabrinacarpenter SHUT UP FAST & FURIOUS NO ONE ASKED YOU

user80 i'm sorry 😃 two Y EARS

user81 i feel like i just got dumped. y/n don't do this, the kids need you 😔

maxverstappen1 i got p1 for you, i love you 🫶🏼

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hope you all enjoyed! please let me know your thoughts and feel free to leave a request for me to write something for your fav <3

[teamred]

gtfih (get the fuck in here)

✩‌ wade wilson/deadpool x reader | fluff | 1.3k

SUMMARY | every morning, you see a man and his dog walk past your bakery and all he does is stick his head through the door, inhales deeply, make a comment, then walks out. what gives?

WARNINGS | flirty banter with sexual jokes, none really!

RATING | teen+

“Oh, that smells like unicorn farts wrapped in rainbows!” 

At the bakery's front counter, you glance up at the chiming bell above the door. Your first customer of the day... with a really strange comment.

A tall, mottled man stands before you in a grey hoodie holding an equally odd looking dog with a lolling tongue. Definitely not a sight you see every day. 

He takes a deep, exaggerated sniff of the air.

“Morning!” you greet with a smile. “Come on in and—”

And just like that, he bolts out the door and back onto the street. His dog licks his face—actually, his open mouth—as they disappear from view.

What the fuck?

The next morning, it happens again. 

“Mother of holy Mary and Marvel Jesus, that smells like a threesome between me, a donut, and fuck-me chocolate syrup!” 

The man, again in the same coloured hoodie, pauses dramatically, closing his eyes and taking another long whiff as he half-leans into the bakery.

“Would you like to try—?” 

But before you can finish, he’s gone again, leaving you standing there in disbelief.

The third morning is not much different. 

Same man, same dog, same routine. However, this time, he doesn’t even say a word—just inhales, sighs in contentment, then spins around and exits as quickly as he entered. 

It keeps on happening until the end of the week. By then, you've had enough. 

Leaning on the counter, arms crossed, you watch from the counter as he comes into view by your window. 

His dark maroon hoodie is drawn tight, and in tow as usual is his dog drooling slightly against his shoulder. You brace yourself, eyes narrowing.

The door swings open.

“Wow—” 

“You, Mr. Dog Man!” You cut him off and point at him sternly. 

He raises an eyebrow, pointing a finger to himself as if saying, “Me?” 

“Yes, you,” you confirm, then you jab your finger towards your glass counter. “Kindly get the fuck in here.”

He chuckles, amused. “Did you just tell me to ‘get the fuck in here’?”

“Kindly,” you say, tilting your head with exaggerated politeness, “but yes.”

The man shrugs, complying with a casual stroll to the counter. 

“Alright, I'm in. What’s the dealio?” he asks, leaning on the counter with a smile. 

“What’s your name, sir?” 

“It’s Wade,” the stranger supplies, his smile widening. “Wade Wilson. Is yours ‘The Bitchy Baker Who Didn’t Have a Good Dicking This Morning’?” His words drip with sarcasm, but there’s a playful twinkle in his eyes. 

“Ha-ha. So funny,” you reply dryly. “You know, you can't just keep sticking your head in my bakery, make a comment, and then leave.”

“Why not? It's a free country,” he says, feigning innocence. 

You roll your eyes. “If you like the smell of my baked goods that much, why don’t you actually buy one? I can assure you that they taste better than they smell.” 

Wade smirks. “That’s what many of my ex-girlfriends said, but I could never trust them.” 

You ruffle your eyebrows at his offhand comment, but he moves on quickly. “Look, I never carry my wallet on my morning walks. Mary Puppins here would guilt-trip me into buying way more stuff than I need.” 

Your gaze drops to his dog, who’s happily panting in his arms and looking up with big eyes. “Her name is Mary Puppins?”

“Yup. Her previous owner—may he rest his soul—named her. Her new baby daddy—that’s me—just kept the tradition going.”  

“And she guilt-trips you into buying stuff?” you ask slowly in equal parts disbelief and intrigue. 

“Look at this face!” Wade exclaims, holding his dog out closer to you. “Wouldn't you buy her anything she wanted?” 

For a few beats, you inspect the dog and its outfit. A little red and black costume that looks awfully similar to something you’ve seen before, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. But yes, her owner was right; she did have something oddly endearing about her. 

“Is it okay if I pet her?” 

“Oh yeah,” Wade nods enthusiastically, “go right ahead.”  

Based on her lack of facial expressions, Mary Puppins seems indifferent to your pats and scritches, but her tail is wagging, so she must be enjoying it slightly. Wade watches you in approval.  

You retract your hands, wash them quickly, then grab a tray of goods out from one of the shelves in the counter. 

“Well, since you don't have your wallet, have one of these on the house,” you say, placing the tray in front of him. 

Wade gasps theatrically, eyes twinkling in delight at all the choices he can possibly have. He takes his time, hovering his free hand over the array of pastries, until he finally decides on a chocolate croissant. 

One bite, and his reaction is nothing short of dramatic, but that seems to be this guy’s style.

His eyes flutter to a close, and he lets out a moan that echoes in the quiet bakery. You smile proudly and mentally pat yourself on the back. 

“Oh my God, they always talk about having a foodgasm, but my mouth is literally coming with each bite. Oh my fucking God!”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Okay, bring your wallet tomorrow and you can have plenty more foodgasms.” 

“What—my handsome features don't get me free baked goods?” Wade leans the rest of his croissant towards Mary Puppins, who’s trying her best to nibble at it, but is mostly just licking it.

“You're cute, but you’re not that cute," you tease. Looking beyond his skin condition, he was a teensy bit handsome, you had to admit.

“I used to wear a wig. I’ll put it on again if it means I get free shit. Would that help?”

It’s hard not to smile in front of him. “No, I don't think so.” 

“People say I look like Ryan Reynold’s hotter cousin when I’ve got a full load of hair on me.”  

You huff and shake your head in disagreement. 

“How about a date?” Wade asks with a wink. “There’s financial compensation in that—that’s gotta count for something.” 

A date would count for something, but you didn't want him to be out of the waters yet.

“Come back tomorrow with your wallet and a date could maybe be in your future,” you reply flirtatiously. 

Wade nods with a grin and begins to walk backwards towards the door. 

“If I’m late though, it’s ‘cause I’m too busy jerking it while fantasizing about having those beauties in my mouth again.” 

You sputter a laugh. Feeling brave, you decide to channel his humor and reflect it back at him. “Wow, maybe you’ll be only one minute late, if you can even last that long.” 

He gasps in mock horror and jogs back to the counter again to take another baked good. 

“This is compensation for that comment…” he says with squinted eyes, stuffing the pastry into his mouth. 

“Don’t come too hard tonight, handsome,” you say with a wink. 

“I’m legitimately so hard right now,” he says with a full mouth, pointing the half pastry braid towards his crotch. “As the kids say these days, you match my freak, lady. Say bye-bye, Mary Puppins!” 

Wade awkwardly adjusts himself to make his dog give a little paw wave, while she simply wags her tail. You laugh and shake your head, amused by his antics. 

As he finally exits, you hear him call out, “And if anyone asks, I’m just here for the sweet, sweet baked goods. Totally not because of the hot baker!” 

You bite your lip, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth, as you watch him and his dog disappear down the street. As you return to work, you replay your interactions with Wade over and over, and realize he’s just as endearing as his quirky dog. 

You’re buzzing in anticipation to see Wade and Mary Puppins again tomorrow morning. 

[julietsbody]

divine figures — luke castellan + reader : nothing could steer luke off his path to god now, until you came along. 

tags : southern setting au, small town setting, loser!luke, idolization, christian religious references & imagery, religious inconsistencies, church sex, religious guilt, body worship, sex but poetic, cannibalistic imagery…………..

a/n : heavily inspired by the lovely @murdrdocs!! 

luke castellan was never one to follow a religion, well, not at first he wasn’t. he thought it was all bullshit, to put your all into someone nobody is sure even exists, it’s bullshit. but then his mom began insisting that he went, that he needed to find god, they both did, so he went.   

luke lacked a father figure, so when he stared up at the statue perched at the apse of the church, he found the man he always lacked in his life, no matter how much the statue ignored his gaze, never bothering to look his way. he was quick to read the bible like it was a drug he just couldn’t get enough of, he sat straight with his eyes forward during each sermon, he kept himself pure. 

and he stuck true to that, until you came. 

he never really noticed you at first, but you were always there. 

always looking over your shoulder to his place in the pew, always smiling at him when he accidentally glances your way, always passing by his house on your bike on hot summer days in hopes of seeing him outside, shirtless and working on his mother’s car. 

you hadn’t mustered up the proper courage to speak to him, not until your parents have tugged you over to where he stood with his mother in the nave. your mother and father immediately sparked up conversation with his mother, leaving you to awkwardly look around the church in hopes of finding something worthy of speaking of. nothing, there was nothing. so you just mumbled out a, “hey.” 

he hesitates for a second, “hi.” 

“did you like the sermon?” your southern drawl, along with your sugar coated smile, luke can feel the thumping of his heart against his knit sweater. 

“‘course,” he smiles shyly, “i always do— um.. did you?” 

you nod at him, your ability to hold eye contact so well had him feeling nervous, constantly breaking it to glance around the room, “are you excited for easter?”

luke’s lips curve to a brighter smile, one that proves that he hopes that with jesus’ return, there will be a proper savior for him, his prayers will finally be listened to, maybe for once the statue on the wall will glance his way. 

jesus molded everything about luke, at this point, if he couldn’t believe in his father, jesus was going to take that place— and he did, luke was taught everything by the bible, all he ever relied on was the words of the lord, everything he ever did was a representation of what lied in those scriptures. he never worshipped another god, never said the lord’s name in vain, always remembered sabbath day, as well as honored his mother and… father. 

he didn’t commit adultery, in fact, he never spoke to women, really. his mother kept him sheltered, he was only allowed to speak to the women at church, not any of the women who rode on their bikes past his house, or smiled at him in the library. he just stared at them for a minute and looked away, contemplating how different things would be if he was able to speak to them. 

at the thought of women, luke’s mind races back to you, who is currently blinking at him and thinking he didn’t hear you. “i am excited— for easter, will you be at— the um.. the church that day?” 

another nod, then an awkward silence as you find nothing more to say, and neither does he. the church was a beautiful place, decorated with swirls of gold and dark wood, colorful stained glass windows that painted pictures of jesus, or virgin mary. if luke could move out of his home and live somewhere he genuinely enjoyed, it would be the church. 

there was something so comforting about it, maybe the faint music that played in the background, or the way it smelled of old books and floral perfumes, or the fact that it was just a place where so many people went to put their faith into someone. god was just so important, if luke didn’t know any better, he’d envy him. 

“you should come on sabbath days,” you interject his thoughts, leaning in to his vision. 

he blinks, eyes refocusing on your face, and he awkwardly chuckles, scratching the back of his neck, “i thought they were for relaxation?” 

“and worship,” you correct, and he crystalizes the memory of how each word sounds on your tongue, how it flows out so well, how it makes him swallow. 

“right, right,” he wets his lips nervously, “i’ll just— ask my mom. mama?” 

as soon as he asks his mom, she’s all smiles at him, nodding and even shaking your hand, thanking you for urging him to go to church more. 

“i’ll see you there,” is the last thing you say to luke that day. 

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

luke would be a liar to say he wasn’t riddled with visions of you in the darkest parts of the night, they started from the day you first spoke to him, and never left him since. he hated how much it plagued him, because it tempted him so well. it was like you were eve, offering him, adam, the apple. you reassure him that it’s sweet, that there’s no harm in taking a bite, and luke is parting his lips, ready to taste it, when he finally wakes up. 

the heat of the room is beating down on him, even in the cool of the night. his skin is sticky from sweat, and all he can ever think about is you. it should be a crime, really, how much you had consumed his every waking thought. for once, he wasn’t thinking of the bible verses he would be reading that day, what prayer he would be saying. 

luke didn’t know one thing about women, but the way you spoke to him, the way you smiled at him, the glints in your eyes, it had him wondering how he could make your face twist up in pleasure— fuck. he shouldn’t be thinking like this, it’s unholy, it’s weird, but he’s already in too deep. 

he’s already fed the memory of how pink your lips are, how soft they look, they probably feel the same. is it a sin to wonder how well you kiss? would you be all - consuming? or slow, sweet? luke doesn’t know why he prefers if you’d be hungry, if you’d bite and nip at him like you’re hungry, like he’s the last supper. 

his boxers feel tight on his skin, dick twitching in the confines of them. luke hardly knows this feeling well, he wasn’t one to allow himself to get hard, nor was he one to properly take care of it. but something about the idea of your teeth clashing against his when you kiss him, pushing your tongue into his mouth to taste him properly— it had his fingers pushing underneath the waistband of his underwear. 

when his fingertips graze his cock, he immediately shudders, lashes fluttering. every time luke touched himself, it felt like the first time, only now it felt.. better. better because he was thinking of you. luke had never watched porn, he hardly knows what it is, so the idea of what sex would be like is.. a gray area for him. 

but he works with what his mind is capable of, which is dry humping. the first setting that comes to mind is the church, which leaves a bitter taste on his tongue, but he goes with it. it comes to vividly, you on his lap, wet patch evident on his jeans from where your hips push down, whispering sweet nothings into his ear. when you moan, he does, when you whimper, he does, when you roll your hips, he does. 

everything was in sync, and it was all so sinful. masturbation itself wasn’t a sin, unless you thought of someone, and for the longest time, luke never thought of anyone, but you were a parasite he couldn’t shake, and he honestly wasn’t sure if he wanted to. 

luke wonders how much the priest will judge him when he utters these thoughts, these events in the confessional tomorrow. he has only ever uttered small, pitiful confessions, i didn’t help my mom with dinner, i turned in a book to the library late, i forgot to pray. he’s never had to confess anything larger. 

heat bubbles in luke’s stomach, it’s pleasant, sweet, but it curls, and curls until it’s suffocating, until his wrist is hurting from the fast pumps of his cock, sweat glistening on his skin, cheeks flushed. he can feel a whine scratching up his throat, in the confines of his mind, something is screaming at him, telling him to stop, but it’s too late, he can barely hear it over the blood pumping in his ears. 

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

when luke comes into the church the next day, it’s a saturday, a sabbath day. typically on these days, he would be spending his time lounging around his house, reading some piece of classical literature that he has hidden from his mother, wishing to keep the inked pictures of statues reeking of desire for one another a secret. 

but he was here, and so, he prayed. 

the sun had barely risen over the horizon (courtesy of daylight savings), yet the candles in the church were lit, leaving an orange hue to project around the empty room. 

luke felt gross, corrupt, unholy. 

for once, luke feels as though the statue above is glaring down on him, and he tries his best to not shrink into himself under the piercing gaze. he knows. his mouth is dry with each prayer, fingers sweaty around the rosary, but he wouldn’t allow himself to falter once more. 

as soon as he starts his fifth prayer, he hears the creak of the floorboards that he knows all too well, eyes fluttering open so he can look back to see who was there, hoping they hadn’t heard his last confessions in his prayers. 

you. his mind is tugged to a halt, every prayer he had rehearsed on his way to the church, completely forgotten. it was all just.. you. you seared on his skin, burned him until he was nothing but smoke. your gaze softens on him, a stark contrast to jesus’ pointed glares, “i didn’t think you’d come.” 

his voice is coarse from the nonstop prayers, “of course i would.” 

all he can think about is you underneath him, his own skin bitten and scratched, decorated in mulberry and deep pinks, he’s practically salivating at the idea. he wonders if, behind the confines of the church walls, would anyone hear you? would the priests dare to look for whoever is letting out such unholy noises? 

luke feels frozen the second he comes back to reality, dick hardening underneath the fabric beyond his control, his mind is tearing itself apart before he can even realize you’re speaking to him. 

“— wondering if you’d like to sit next to me tomorrow,” you pose, seemingly unaware of the bulge in luke’s pants that he is desperately trying to naturally cover with his hands. but you knew, you knew the effect you had on him, and he had the same effect on you. 

is it so cruel to only tease him harder? 

luke swallows the remaining saliva in his drying mouth, quickly moving to a stand, rosary bringing more attention to his covered crotch, “sure, yes— um.. i need to— go.” 

before you can even say anything, he is pushing past you, hand moving only to chastly grab your waist for a mere second as he passes, an instinct of trying to keep you stable, but it only makes a heat between your legs grow. 

desires go both ways, and it’s only a matter of time before they snap. 

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

easter was once luke’s most anticipated day of the year, but now it was the day of his nightmares. he barely slept last night, kept himself awake with chores, prayers, and reading the bible until it made him sick. he couldn’t have another dream, he couldn’t let you get to him anymore. he thought it would be easy to avoid you today, but he was cursed with his own mistakes as you sat down next to him in the pew. 

the worst part wasn’t that you sat down next to it, it’s that his mind was riddled with disgusting thoughts as soon as he saw how your dress brushed up your thighs, it was so simple, such a small act, but it just made him think the worst possible things. 

you bent over the pew, the bottom of your dress tugged up to show your panties, his hands are gripping your hips like his life depends on it, crotch pressed to your clothed pussy from behind. 

luke blinks back with his cheeks hot, noticing the bible in your hands. when he speaks, he doesn’t even realize what he’s saying, it’s like he’s possessed, “what verse are you reading?” 

“luke 22:40,” you say it so simply, a smile barely teasing your lips. 

on reaching the place, 

he said to them, “pray that you 

will not fall into temptation.” 

the saliva on luke’s tongue is sour, near poisonous, his lips were stained maroon from the skin of the apple. luke 22:40 was the exact line he had been reciting to himself, luke was his name. the serpent was squeezing him tight, his breath felt swiped away from his lungs. 

luke is quiet for the rest of the evening, even through the sermon, when he should be smiling when everyone else is, clapping when everyone else is— he is just silent, blank - faced. 

you can’t decipher what he’s feeling until everyone has gone off to eat after the sermon, and he’s tugging you back into the pew once it’s vacant, fingers forming a tight grip around your wrist, “why are you doing this?” 

he’s out of breath, and no matter how tough he tries to seem, he sounds pathetic, his voice a near whimper, like he’s pleading with you. 

“doing what?” you blink up at him, doe eyes making his teeth press together. 

“you’re tempting me— this, this isn’t fair, why?” his breath is shaky when he exhales. 

“i’m not doing anything, luke.” 

“you’re making me think— making me imagine things.. sinful things.” 

“what exactly are you thinking?” your voice is softer, and the heat of the sun is seeping into the church. 

“i..” how can he explain himself? every image that he wants to communicate is all too disgusting, a mixture of hunger and desire, it seemed luke wanted you to eat him alive, “you know what i’m thinking.” 

“why don’t you show it to me?” 

absolution; 

formal release from guilt, 

obligation, or punishment. 

or.. 

an ecclesiastical declaration

of forgiveness of sins.

morals trickle down luke’s back when he kisses you, he knows it’s all wrong, he knows he could just leave it at a kiss, but he didn’t want to be haunted with these visions any longer, maybe if he made them a reality, they would just leave. he could be himself again, the picture - perfect religious boy he was always supposed to be. the kiss is small at first, the hesitant movement of lips, the adjusting to the feeling, but it quickly grows into something hungry. 

luke didn’t know how to properly kiss, so he just followed your lead, and soon enough, he was kissing you like a starving man. from tongues clashing, to his hand mindlessly moving to your hip, body pressing against yours, it was everything he saw in the pictures printed in those books he read. 

when luke falls back into his seat on the pew, you had pulled away from him, admiring how flushed his lips are. when your hand meets his jaw, luke forgets who his god is supposed to be, all he can think about is you, even on the day dedicated to the man he has spent all of his life worshiping. 

“please,” it’s barely even audible, only made out by the slight flick of his tongue from the l. 

“tell me what you want.” 

it felt like luke was sitting in the confessional, admitting all of his nastiest desires when his lips part, finally being able to say his thoughts out loud, “can you— ride me? or.. if you don’t want to— that’s okay.” does luke know what riding is? only from the overheard gossip of other men, but he was told it was something he had to try, when he got married, of course. 

“i want to,” it’s as if you aren’t in a church, as if nobody could just walk in and see how you’re moving onto his lap, moving his hands to your ass, letting his desperate fingers tug your dress up. his purity bracelet brushes against your skin when you move to guide his hands to your ass, watching the nervous look in his eyes when he squeezes the flesh. 

he has no idea what he’s doing, he just wants to please you, to make you feel as good as he made himself feel to the idea of you the other night. maybe, at this point, luke isn’t praying to jesus, maybe he never was, because you were always in the back of his mind. no matter how guilty it made him feel, how many times he had squeezed his tear - ridden eyes shut and wished he was different, wished he wasn’t so easy to fall for temptation. 

god is watching, is what his mind tells him, but your eyes tell him to keep going, watching as he moves his hands to unbuckle his belt, the sound of metal clinging being so improper for the walls ridden with crosses, but it just felt so right. he sucks in a sharp breath when he pulls out his dick, the cool air searing his delicate skin, pupils blown wide when they watch your lips slightly part at the sight. 

 “you’re so big,” is all you can manage out. 

luke’s lips twitch around a small smile, “is that a good thing?” 

“if it fits,” you move through a few twists to properly take your panties off, letting them hang off your ankle when you reposition yourself to have your entrance pressing against the tip of his dick, “then yes.” 

luke’s lips press together as soon as you start sinking down on him, you’re so slow with it it’s almost torturous. the holy water he had dipped his water in and pressed to his skin, was now scorching him with each inch that filled your velvet walls. when you reached the hilt, it was safe to say you felt stuffed, and luke was making more noise than you. 

whimpers, grunts, he tried to hide them all behind the confines of his lips, but they dug their nails into his throat and crawled their way up until it was impossible for him to hold them back. as soon as you began moving, luke was purely fighting for his life against the own noises leaving him to the point of where he had to sit up, pressing his lips to your neck, he was quick to press his lips against the sensitive areas, biting, sucking— he wasn’t even sure if he was doing it properly, but he was just so desperate. 

he wanted you to shatter him like fine porcelain, to snap off his glass parts and crush them underneath your fingers with pure ease, to deconstruct every inch of him that he had taken years to build. no matter how empty he would feel in the end, to put himself in your hands, like a lump of clay in the hands of a goddess, he trusted your instincts. 

“i want you to ruin me,” he mumbles against the flesh of your neck, barely audible. 

“what?” your voice is breathless between moans, walls tightening around his dick with each movement of your hips. 

he whimpers out a simple, “sorry.” 

you didn’t forget his words, though, in fact, you let your fingers run through his dark curls, tangling through them until you tugged him back from your neck, just so you can take his place, now the one pressing your lips to his neck. he felt small underneath you, but he didn’t hate it, he liked the way that your lips felt on his skin, enough for him to lean his head back to provide you more blank canvas. 

you painted him in maroons and mulberries, blooming rose petals on his skin, marking him as your own. no matter how much luke knew he would be praying for forgiveness tonight, in this moment, everything he’s ever stood for has fallen off his broad shoulders. his hair is messy and sticking to his sweaty forehead, skin peppered with bite marks, deep reds, purples, every color in between and beyond.

“‘m gonna—“ luke’s words come out choked, dick pulsing inside of you, “gonna cum—“ 

luke’s orgasm hits him hard enough to have tears pooling into his eyes, maybe it was the guilt, or the everlasting pleasure, he wasn’t entirely sure, how could he even be? all he could think of was you, now. 

“do you still believe in god?” you offer him once you’re off him and he’s putting his belt back on. 

he stares at you for a second, hesitating, then his lips part, “yes.” 

[najia-cooks]

[ID: A Moroccan teaglass with a bundle of sage, a saucer of dried sage, a deep blue-purple teapot, and a Palestinian vase in the background. End ID]

شاي المريمية / Shay al-maryamiyya (Palestinian sage tea)

Palestinian sage is a common after-dinner beverage and digestive aid made from black tea and three-lobed wild sage (Salvia fruticosa syn. Salvia triloba L.). In the Levant, this variety of sage is known as "مَرْيَمِيَّة" ("maryamīyya") or, more dialectically, "مَرْمَرِيَّة" ("marmariyya").

Terminology and etymology

The term "maryamīyya" likely derives from the Aramaic "מרייא" ("marvā"), meaning "common sage" (Salvia officinalis). The modern form of the word in Arabic—as well as in Persian, in which "مریم گلی" ("maryam goli") is “sage” or "garden sage"—was also influenced by a folkloric association between sage and the مَرْيَم (Maryam) of the Bible (Mary, mother of Jesus). Dr. Tawfiq Kanaan, for example, says that Mary sat on a stone to rest after a walk in the hot summer sun, and used a few leaves from a sage plant to dry her forehead: this is how the plant got its pleasant scent, and why it is still named after Mary. The dialectical pronunciation "marmariyya" then arises through an assimilation of the second syllable to the first.

"Maryamīyya" is perhaps also related to the obsolete Arabic مَرْو ("marw"), meaning "fragrant herbs" [1]. This Arabic term is derived from the Aramaic מַרְוָא / ܡܲܪܘܵܐ ("marwā"), which refers to wild marjoram or za'tar (Origanum syriacum; syn. Origanum maru) and is related to words for fragrant herbage, marjoram, and grass (Ciancaglini; see also Aramäische Pflanzennamen, p. 193). The Aramaic is itself a borrowing from the southwest Middle Persian "𐭬𐭫𐭥𐭠" (transliterated: mlw'; pronounced /⁠marw⁠/) [2], which survives in several New Persian words: see for example "مرغ" ("margh"), "a species of grass of which animals are exceedingly fond"; and "مرو" ("marv"), "a fragrant herb." (Interestingly, the related Sanskrit मरुव "maruva" ultimately gives the English "marjoram" by way of Latin and Old French.)

[1] The term may also refer to the genus Maerua (to which it gives its name), and in particular the species Maerua crassifolia.

[2] See also Müller-Kessler, p. 10, and note 41 on p. 29; MacKenzie, p. 55.

Sage and Palestinian Culture

Three-lobed sage is one of the "most deeply rooted plants in the Palestinian traditional culture and ethnobotany," being the second-most-mentioned of all foraged plants (after za'tar) in a survey conducted in 2008. The connection of three-lobed sage to Maryam leads to its use in creating protective blessings at various rituals from birth until death; in the Galilee, it is burned to guard against the evil eye and to expel demons at births, weddings, and at the graves of holy people. When consumed, it is believed to help with many ailments including stomach complaints, eye diseases, and insomnia, and is used to treat livestock as well as humans.

Maryamiyya is not commonly grown as a garden herb in Palestine; rather, it is foraged from its wild range across the mountains of the West Bank, where it scents the air. Like za'atar and labna, using maryamiyya for culinary purposes is connected to Palestinian identity throughout all regions, with some people asserting that every Palestinian household must have some in stock.

Tea made with the addition of sage is perhaps the most popular herbal tea in Palestine, especially in the winter: though mint, chamomile, and aniseed are also commonly infused in water and drunk. Other varieties of sage grow in Palestine and are produced and exported by Palestinian farmers [1], but Gustaf Dalman noted in the early 20th century that three-lobed sage was the most important variety:

Of the spicy-smelling labiate flowers, which assume a significant role in the flora of Palestine, numerous sage varieties bloom in the spring. Among these the Salvia triloba, with violet flower heads on a tall shrub, is not the most colorful but is the best known, called in the north 'ēzaqān [عِيزَقَانْ] and in the south miryamīye, mēramīye thus connecting it with the Virgin Mary. (trans. Nadia Abdulhadi Sukhtian)

During the spring, sage leaves are collected and air-dried for use in tea throughout the whole year. Tea may also be made from fresh leaves, but some people consider dried to be superior. Dried maryamiyya leaves are purchased by Palestinian refugees and expatriates wherever they are. Food is thus tied to locality, memory, resistance, and terroir—a groundedness in land that considers aspects as diverse and interconnected as soil, climate, and politics. A concept of terroir in agriculture and cooking brings out how products "register[] origin and provenance."

[1] Today, the vast majority of Palestinian herb exports are to the United States, but Palestinian farmers are not able to export goods themselves—they rely on Israeli distributors and exporters, which cuts into their profits and curtails their autonomy.

Criminalizing Foraging

Ali-Shtayeh et al. noted in 2008 that the gathering of wild edible plants had been in decline in the Palestinian territories throughout preceding decades, with many young people lacking the cultural knowledge to identify and prepare wild plants. They mention several possible reasons for the decline, including an increase in intensive agriculture, improvement in national networks of roads, and the fact that some middle-aged people associate foraging with times of poverty. But we should also consider the fines, arrests, and potential imprisonment that Palestinians risk when foraging wild plants for food as a likely cause for the decline in the practice.

There are two strains of law relevant to the criminalization of foraging in "Israel" and the occupied Palestinian territories (the West Bank and Gaza: henceforth "OPT"). The first consists of primary laws which establish the right of representatives of the Israeli government to declare a plant to be a protected "natural value" (ערכי טבע), and lay out the maximum penalties people can be charged with for causing "harm" ("פג'עה") to a protected plant; the second comprises secondary declarations in the form of lists of which plants are considered protected.

The 1963 Natural Parks and Nature Reserve Law (חוק גנים לאומיים ושמורות טבע, תשכ"ג - 1963) belongs to the first strain. It empowered the Minister of Agriculture to declare a plant to be protected within "Israel," subject to the approval of a government council (ch. 5, 40-42); and declared that harming a plant was an offence punishable by up to three months' imprisonment (chapter 6).

In the text of the law, "harm" is specifically defined to include "picking," "קטיפה," and "gathering," "נטילה." No systematic distinction is established based on how much of the plant was harvested, and whether the plant was foraged for personal or commercial purposes. Nor is there any qualification of what qualities a plant should have to be considered "protected," or any obligation for the government to pursue or present scientific evidence that a given plant is overharvested.

In 1969, The Decree on the Protection of Nature (צו בדבר הגנה על הטבע) (Military Order no. 363) gave similar authority to the occupying military, and criminalized foraging in the OPT. Military orders are enforced by military courts, whereas offenders in "Israel" go through civil courts.

Several plants were already on the list of protected natural values at this time, but they were not commonly foraged for food. 1977 proved a signal year in this regard: with the "Proclamation of National Parks and Nature Reserves" [אכרזת גנים לאומיים ושמורות טבע (ערבי טבע י מוגנים), תשל״ח -1977], Minister of Agriculture Ariel Sharon (אריאל שרון) added za’tar ("אזוב מצוי") and maryamiyya ("מרוה משולשת") to the list. The inclusion of these plants, and especially za'tar, was more disastrous and insulting than previous bans on foraging had been. Za'tar, besides being a source of food and income for many poor or disabled Palestinians, has immense cultural significance in Palestine.

Arab Palestinians—and only Arabs—were arrested, fined, and even imprisoned, with no clear correspondence between the amount they had foraged and their sentencing. Most of the recorded court cases in "Israel" deal with za'tar, though court cases in legal databases show that Palestinians were also fined and tried for foraging maryamiyya (FN 38). An atmosphere of intimidation prevailed, with many habitual foragers feeling newly afraid to leave their homes.

In 1998, a new National Parks, Natural Reserves, National Sites and Memorial Sites Law [חוק גנים לאומיים, שמורות טבע, אתרים לאומיים ואתרי הנצחה, תשנ"ח-1998] replaced the prior National Parks law (of 1992, which had itself replaced the aforementioned 1963 law). It removed the necessity for an ecological council to approve the Minister's declaration of a "protected" status, and increaed the maximum prison time for a violation of the law to three years. Throughout all periods, however, the penalty usually imposed has been a fine.

Since the imposition of the harsher law, two notable updates have been made to the list of protected plants: the 2005 list of Protected Natural Assets) [אכרזת גנים לאומיים, שמורות טבע, אתרים לאומיים ואתרי הנצחה (ערכי טבע מוגנים), התשס״ה–2005] replaced the 1979 list, and added عَكُوب ('akoub; "עכובית הגלגל"), a culturally important and commonly foraged thistle. [1] Za'tar and maryamiyya remained on the list. The 2005 declaration also specifies that the species on the list are protected if they are wild, but not if they are cultivated (section 3). This provision allows Israeli farmers to profit from the farming and sale of za'tar.

The second notable update came in 2019: the Nature and Parks Authority (שרשות הטבע והגנים) announced that it would redact the absolute ban on harvesting za'tar, maramiyya, and 'akoub, instead setting a maximum allowable amount for household consumption and cracking down on the sale of these plants, rather than on foraging itself.

Activists believe this partial measure to have occurred as a result of legal and public pressure instigated by an open letter which human rights lawyer Rabea Eghbariah sent the Israeli Attorney General and Environmental Protection Minister requesting that za'tar, 'akkoub, and maryamiyya be removed from the "protected" list in advance of their foraging seasons, noting the inconsistency in sentencing and the law's disproportionate criminalization of Palestinians. (The specific cultural importance of these three plants is attested by the fact that they, among the dozens of species considered "protected," form the basis of Eghbariah's complaint.) The Nature and Parks Authority (NPA), however, insisted that an independent assessment, and not public criticism, had led them to announce the change in policy. And fines levied at Palestinian foragers did continue despite the announced change in policy, at least through March 2020.

Nor is the change complete in scope, even if it were being upheld. Eghbariah notes that "It is not yet clear if the change will also apply [in the West Bank] - and there it is a parallel system, less transparent and much more predatory. The enforcement is much worse, including the confiscation of cars, and the judgment is in a military court. We will continue to monitor."

[1] Eghbariah writes that the "Protected Natural Values Declaration (Amendment No. 2) (Judea and Samaria), 1978" added za'tar and maramiyya to the list in the OPT, and the "Protected Natural Values Declaration (Amendment No. 2) (Judea and Samaria), 2004" added 'akoub. I have been unable to find or independently verify the text of either declaration. From a list of secondary legislation related to military orders, I believe the declaration being amended is "הכרזה בדבר ערכי טבע מוגנים (יהודה והשומרון), התשל"ג - 1973".

[ID: Light shone through a blue glass vase is cast over the bundle of sage and glass of tea. End ID]

"Preservation" and Green Colonialism

Of course, Palestinians and activists also suspect that the underlying purpose of the ban is to starve and intimidate Palestinians, rather than any real concern with nature. Israeli botanist Nativ Dudai points out that foraging causes much less harm to these plants than Israeli bulldozers do. Samir Naamneh, who sells foraged produce, also dismisses the environmentalist excuse for the ban on foraging:

We feel, and we know, and we’re sure, that the laws are made, on principle, against the Arab residents of the country, to hurt their livelihoods. It’s part of the pressure that Israel puts on us to starve us out.

The 1977 decision to add za'tar and maryamiyya to the protected plants list was ostensibly taken in accordance with a report submitted by a group of Israeli ecologists, which suggested that the species were in danger due to over-foraging. However, Israeli forager Yatir Sade (יתיר שדה) suggests that the converse may be true, and that the people who wrote the report might have taken their cues from the government.

On June 20, 1977, the inauguration of the Begin (בגין) Cabinet marked the first time that a right-wing party had held a majority in the Knesset; this dramatic change in Israeli politics would come to be called "המהפך" ("HaMahapakh"), "the revolution" or "the upheaval."

Sade's research reveals that, about a week later, on June 27, 1977, a team of ecologists at the NPA submitted a list of species to the Legal Bureau at the Ministry of Agriculture (משרד החקלאות), suggesting that they be declared protected. The list is accompanied by a letter of legal advice signed by a partner in the law firm Reva, Shein, Katz & Co. This initial suggested list did not include four species which would end up on the final 1977 list, all of them important culinary and medicinal herbs among Palestinians and Bedouin Arabs: babonj (בבונג / بابونج / golden chamomile), maryamiyya, za'tar, and ss'atr barriyy (صعتر بري / קורנית מקורקפת / Persian hyssop). [1]

But about four months later, on October 16, another letter was sent on behalf of the same law firm, requesting that these four species be added to the "protected" list, and that the standard procedure for adding them be expedited. Accordingly, on November 2, only a few days after receiving the letter, the Minister's office published the final declaration, with golden chamomile, maryamiyya, za'tar, and Persian hyssop newly added. The new Minister of Agriculture Ariel Sharon (אריאל שרון), part of the First Begin Cabinet and co-founder, with Menachem Begin, of the right-wing party HaLikud (הליכוד), signed the new declaration. It therefore seems likely that these plants were added to the list for political reasons and precisely because of their importance to Palestinian Arabs, rather than from any ecological concern.

It is also relevant that the 1963 and 1998 laws which criminalized foraging also laid out guidelines for the creation of national parks, nature reserves, and military and state memorial land. The text of the 1998 law, in particular, describes the goals behind creating these sites, and gives the council it establishes the authority to do anything necessary to promote those goals. These goals include to "protect natural and heritage sites" ("הגן על ערכי הטבע והמורשת"); to "maintain international scientific relations" in the field of nature conservation ("קיים קשרים מדעיים בין-לאומיים") ; to promote education about conservation among youth and students (7. (א)); and to promote travel and tourism (14. (א)).

Many discourses and strategies can here be seen operating together. The creation of nature reserves, state heritage sites, and military memorial land all within the text of the same law explicitly connects environmentalism to patriotism; creates special reasons for bringing land under state control, and imposing special codes of behavior on this land (i.e., natural and heritage sites); connects environmentalism to state ownership and control of land, and connects both to the education of youth and the creation of the ideal Israeli civic subject; uses environmentalism to promote Israel internationally as a scientific authority, a responsible steward of land (unlike the indigenous population), and thus a legitimate state; and sanitizes and 'advertizes' Israel internationally by associating sites of destruction, annexation, and ethnic cleansing with the concepts of environmental protection, natural beauty, preservation, and heritage.

Israel frequently declares land a "nature reserve" as a method of annexation, only to later build settlements on it (see Karimi-Schmidt p. 369 ff). Palestinians are forbidden from foraging certain plants within nature reserves (other plants are forbidden for foraging everywhere), and from constructing on them; they are thus alienated from this land, and dissociated from the ways in which they have long related to it. Yatir Sade points out that the four plants added to the original 1977 draft of the protected species list are typically harvested out in open areas, rather than within yards and villages; declaring these areas nature reserves, or arresting Arabs who enter them under suspicion of foraging, prevents Palestinians from moving freely, and from claiming any connection to the land. [3]

The "Green Patrol" (HaSayeret HaYeruka / הסיירת הירוקה), the enforcement unit for the NPA, was founded in 1976 by then-Minister of Agriculture Aharon Ozan and director of the Israel Land Administration Meir Zore, for the specific purpose of policing "open areas" (שטחים פתוחים) which had been declared state land, and preventing Palestinians from "tresspassing" ("הסגות גבול") or illegally building in these areas. [4] Through these strategies, land is appropriated for the state's and settlers' purposes under the guise of environmentalism.

In much the same way, the list of protected species is ultimately about using environmental science to cement state authority. Irus Braverman points out that endangered species lists function as a means of regulation, not least by being ostensibly objective: "their global power, mobility, and ubiquity derive from their configuration as scientific, technical, and quantitative, and therefore as neutral and apolitical." The protected species list thus joins other "environmental infrastructures," such as renewable energy and agricultural technologies, as a "mechanism[] for land appropriation and dispossession" of the indigenous population: together, these infrastructures make up a strategy that is alternately called greenwashing, green grabbing, and green colonialism.

[1] Letter regarding the declaration of national parks and nature reserves (protected natural values), 1977, from Ofir Katz to Tovi R. [מכתב בנושא אכרזת גנים לאומיים ושמורות טבע (ערכי טבע מוגנים) תשל"ז-1977, מאופיר כץ לטובי ר'], 6/27/1977. In: Proclamation of National Parks and Nature Reserves (Protected Natural Values), Ministry of Agriculture and Rural Development [אכרזת גנים לאומיים ושמורות טבע (ערכי טבע מוגנים), משרד החקלאות ופיתוח הכפר], January 1965–October 1982. State Archives, ISA-moag-moag-00119qy, pp. 164-175.

[2] Letter regarding a proposal to declare national parks and nature reserves (protected natural values), 1977, from Ofir Katz to Tovi R., [מכתב בנושא הצעה לאכרזת גנים לאומיים ושמורות טבע (ערכי טבע מוגנים) תשל"ז-1977] 10/24/1977. In: Proclamation of National Parks and Nature Reserves (Protected Natural Values), Ministry of Agriculture and Rural Development, January 1965–October 1982. State Archives, ISA-moag-moag-00119qy, p. 160.

[3] Yatir Sade, Master's thesis, pp. 68-9. Personal communication.

[4] Sade points out that Yehuda Reva (יהודה רווה), another partner of the law firm that provided legal advice on the matter of the 1977 protected species list, was also prominent in helping the Green Patrol expropriate Palestinian land and property within the bounds of Israeli law (Master's thesis, p. 44, FN 34).

Foraging and Food Sovereignty

The disastrous effect of these strategies and regulations should not be understated—but nor should their power to control Palestinians' behavior be overstated. Palestinians reference specific plants in writing and in art (including ceramics and tatreez), bring dried herbs to family members abroad, purchase or grow important culinary plants wherever they live in the diaspora, and continue to forage plants despite harassment and the risk of fines and arrest. Plants are an important way of symbolizing, and of practicing, resistance, resilience, and rootedness in history and in the land.

Foraging can be a strategy of reconnection in defiance of dispossession. Rochelle Davis notes that Palestinians often visit the villages from which they were displaced in order to gather grape leaves and herbs, “ingesting the place by consuming the land’s produce” (p. 172). Through this practice, as Anne Meneley puts it, "[e]ating becomes an act of momentary repossession."

The message boards on PalestineRemembered.com attest to this practice. When Mouttaz Ammoura returned to الطيرة (Al-Tira), the village from which his family was displaced, he noted maramiyya as the one plant he brought back with him:

Now I live in Canada, but far-away from AL-TIRA. When I came back, I brought with me some sand, maramieh, few stones, & water from Tirat Haifa. Yes, I brought all of that to remember al-Tira & to have it close to my hart back in Canada.

In an interview conducted in a Palestinian refugee camp in 1998, women demonstrate this same association of plant life with place:

They spoke of the names of land plots around ~ Tjzim (Wadi al-Nahel, Durat al-Qamar, Shana), and the act of naming evoked an aura of magic for those who remembered the places [...]. They also related to the wild plants. The women, who felt we had shifted to familiar ground, called out the names — khubeize (mallow), ‘aqub (tumble thistle), maramiyyeh (sage), za’atar (thyme).

Mirna Bamieh's Palestine Hosting Society put on an Edible Wild Plants Table, which registered the connection of foraging to place, local knowledge, and temporality. The project, which focused on "identifying the names, forms, locations and availability of wild plants in Palestine’s nature," involved a menu created from foraging in the mountainous regions of Palestine during the blooming season "from mid-January until the end of February."

Foraging is also one strategy among many that Palestinians use—alongside instituting agricultural innovations, creating native seed banks, educating about Palestinian cuisine, and seeking out contracts with foreign markets—to attain food self-sufficiency and sovereignty. It is therefore both a symbolically defiant strategy, and a practical one. Palestinians illustrate a belief in the illegitimacy of Israel's laws and claims, and insist on the primacy of their relationship to the land, when they forage for food.

When asked whether he believed that 2020 would bring the promised relaxation in criminalization of foragers, Samir Naamneh, who has been repeatedly fined, arrested, and tried over the past decades, told Dror Foyer (דרור פויר):

"We'll live and see, but it won't change anything for me: whether it's allowed or not, I'm going to forage. I do the work I love, and I'm at peace with myself. The fact that I'm making a statement to the State of Israel and their law—that's enough for me."

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Palestinian heirloom seeds

Ingredients:

250g filtered water

2.5g (1 1/2 tsp) high-quality loose leaf black tea

4g (1 1/2 Tbsp) dried three-lobed sage, or substitute another variety of sage

Sugar, to taste (optional)

Dried three-lobed sage can be purchased from a Palestinian brand such as Al-'Ard or Yaffa (not "Jaffa").

Instructions:

1. Combine tea with just-boiled water and steep for two minutes.

2. Add sage and steep for another minute.

3. Pour into tea glasses and serve hot.

Times and quantities are geared towards producing a tea that is mild enough to be enjoyed without sugar. Adjust as per preference.

[icarusredwings]

Scent. 1/2

Sfw, Primal scenting, established poolverine, countryside comedy, angst, and fluff. Wade gets smothered in front of the fireplace by a big domestic wolverine because of his self-confidence issues.

Post Save a horse/Ride a wolverine

Requested by @asaturnerofficial

Somewhere in Texas, On a small plot ranch with only a handful of chickens and 2 horses. One is a pony, actually. Her name was Buttercream, and she used to do kids' parties. She just kinda came with the house, and so did the chickens, but Cupcake (who was, in fact, a gelding, named by Wade) was bought off a different rancher who claimed he couldn't be ridden. Well- that was apparently a huge lie because Cup allowed him to ride him every now and again. Maybe it was a scent thing.

Actually, Scent was very important in this house, and it was something Logan checked each night before bed. Sniff around the property and shoo off any animals that didn't belong. He didn't mind the Co-yotes they just were trying to live as much as anything else, but it made him nervous to think about what they might do to the chickens or hell - to Mary Puppins. They would eat her for a snack and still be peckish.

"Alright, I fed the chickens, fed buttercream cupcake, fed puppins, now what do- Woah! Jesus's mother, Mary Magdalene!"

He had just walked into the living room to see Logan laid out on a rug in nothing but his iconic wife beater, some worn in-in all the right places- jeans, and his boots. He had got the fire place working I guess because there it was, heating up the home.

"I dont think its really a good idea to have a fire place inside of house made of wood but what do I know? Im not OSHA certified." He said, of course, to the wall.

Rolling his eyes, Logan was far used to this by now, chuckling a bit. "I got it workin' "

"Yeah I see. I was just talking about that."

"I saw. Who are you talking to anyway?" For once this question was genuine instead of condescending.

"Oh, you know. The viewers. Readers. Whatever you wanna call them." Again, he turns and waves. "Hi. Also- where did he get a bear skin rug? This guy. Ruining the budget. Do you know how expensive bears are?"

Having seen this a billion times, he's learned to just go with it. "Viewers...? Like.. a reality tv show?"

"Kind of. And let me just say, This?" He put his hands out like he was taking a picture. "Is beautiful. You're going to make the ratings sky rocket! Think of what this will do for your PR!"

"Right.. well. I hate to break the.. viewers.. little hearts but this isn't a bear skin. What bears do you know that have black and white spots?"

"Pandas."

Blinking, He sat up. "Wade, this is the middle of texas. Where do you think im going to find a panda?"

"The zoo." He shrugs, watching his boyfriend laugh at him, rolling his eyes.

"So you think the zoo is just going to let me take one of their pandas and skin it for my livingroom?"

"Oh. Yeah, that's a bit of a streach for the budget, isn't it? What is it then?- GAASSP- Don't tell me it's puppies!!"

"What?" (He's found himself saying this about 50 times a day now when living with him, possibly 100) "It's cow.."

"Oooh! Okay- that would have been a deal breaker. I can deal with skinning an endangered species, but I draw the line at Cruella activities."

"So are you just gonna keep talking to that wall, or are you gonna come're?" He muttered, smirking some as he made a small squeal, rushing over to sit down.

The scent of cheap dollar store foundation made him cringe, his mood and demeter changing instantly. "What did I tell you about wearin' that shit.."

Tensing up, he smiled awkwardly, putting his hands in his lap as he looked away. "It's the 21st century, Wolvie, Men wear make up now."

"No. You know damn well that's not what I meant. Come here." Before he could even begin to protest, he grabbed him by the belt, a signature, pulling him into his arms only to flip him on the floor.

"Eeehh!! Peanut, seriously, it's fine! It's just makeup! I didn't even put my mascara on!"

"Im taking that shit off of you. It stinks!" He growled, now straddling him on top of the soft cow rug.

Squirming a bit, Wade was trying to push him off but it was hard to do that when your boyfriend was so heavy, having just started to get back to a healthy weight, healing his relationship with food and his appearance. It only reminded him how much he loved having him. Oh, his big beefy boy. Usually, he would enjoy being manhandled, but he worked hard on his blending today!

"Noo! Do you know how hard it is to cover all THIS up!?"

"Exactly my point. That's why it's coming off. It doesn't NEED covered up, moron!" Pulling off his shirt, both the view and the words put Wade into somewhat of a dormant state.

"You really mean th- Ahh!! Hey! No! You tricked me with nice words!" He protested as he used the shirt to wipe it off, spitting on it and rubbing cirlces to get it off of him. It was times like these when Wade realized that Logan COULD actually hurt him if he wanted too. Then again.. Trapped under a bronzed muscly man like him?

Glory, glory, what a hell of a way to die!

"What are you talking about?"

Oh shit- he hadn't noticed that he said this out loud. "Nothing!! I just - Why do you always have to ruin my makeup!? What are you jealous or something?" He turned to the side, away from him. "Oh, let's be honest. It would be a crime to cover up that face."

"I could say the same thing about you, Bub." He muttered, wiping off the last bit off his neck, holding it as he leaned down to sniff him, still cringing.

"Gross."

This word alone was enough to audibly hear Wade's heart snap. Swallowing as his throat tightened and put his arms over his face.

Oh shit.. that wasn't the best of word to say, was it? God, why was this so hard? This is why he grunted instead of spoke. Words were too complicated.

A pang in his chest ran deep, his own heart clenching as he heard him whimper.

"That's.. That's why I do it.."

"Oh, Wade.." You'd have to be deaf to not hear the tears in his voice, visibly upset and nowhere to run off too, nothing to hide with. He was trapped. The next option was to push him away, Hit him in the chest so he'd let go. Know that he was done playing. That this was serious.

"You know that! So W-why would you -"

He kissed him, holding both sides of his face. Despite the pushing still lasting, it quickly died down as he wrapped his arms around his neck.

Pulling away only when the air in their lungs ran out, He smirked again, breaths heavy.

"Now, if I thought you were so terrible, would I do that? Hm?"

"Y-yes.."

So he kissed him again, this time giving a little growl into it the way he liked it, causing him to giggle and push his face away, turning again.

"Who is this starving man? Where is my wolverine?"

"Right here, baby. All me." He says, looking to where he was too.

"Hey, you can't talk to them! They're mine!"

"Too bad. So what's the census? My PR or what ever you call it up yet?"

"I don't know.."

"Oh sure, you do. It's your show, isn't it?" He asks, turning him to look at him as he crosses his arms, looking away again, still upset with him.

"... It's our show, actually...Deadpool AND Wolverine... sometimes featuring Dogpool, but that's besides the point! Im thinking about cutting you... you're taking up too much budget."

"Oh, am I now? Well, maybe you'd have more budget if you ditched that stinky shit."

Wade went silent for a moment, stalling to tell him what Logan already knew.

"Ooh... Ratings drop when you're you... don't they?" Right. That made so much more sense. Wilson has taken his own negative thoughts and categorized them into show manager and critic positions. And the critics didn't like him bare faced.

"Well... What if we raised ratings or whatever way up? Without all that bullcrap?"

"Do you know how hard it would be to-"

A third kiss.

"You really should learn to shut up, mouth."

[princessbrunette]

this is so specific but we all know that grey coors light muscle tank that jj wears in season 1 i’m pretty sure, but imagine him waking up to reader wearing that shirt NO BRA dude would go fully teenage boy mode and just stare at your chest cause like HELLO THEY ARE ALMOST SPILLING OUT

˖⁺‧₊˚🐈‍⬛˚₊‧⁺˖

he wakes up quite literally a minute before you, sitting up on his side of the bed as he wakes up fully, rubbing his hands over his eyes. he didn’t remember falling asleep that night, just that he’d passed out after giving it to you for a solid hour, sweaty and spent. he hasn’t even noticed you yet, more so what you’re wearing — because when you stir and he turns half around to check on you, he quite literally forgets how to breathe.

you’re on your back, blankets jostled around your legs as you stretch— eyes still blissfully shut. you must’ve pulled his shirt on before you’d fallen asleep, and he had to say you wore it better than he ever could. it hung loose on you, the large armhole gaping, pulled a little across your chest to the point where the fat of your tit spilled out the side, had it been peeled any further to the right and your nipple would be on display.

“good lord, good morning to me.” he rasps, yawning and your eyes flutter open, a soft smile on your face as you reach a hand toward him, stroking the skin you could reach.

“hi, jayjie.” you hum, and he’s convinced you could have called him any name — because he’s not listening to a word, eyes on your tits.

“you know i thought i looked pretty good in that shirt, but holy mother of mary you’re wearin’ the shit out of it. like, seriously. you kinda just woke my dick up too.”

you giggle, looking down at yourself with one eye as you rub the sleep out of the other. you pull the material so you’re more decent, much to his dismay.

“i forgot i put it on.” you sit up slowly, stretching once more and arching your back, hard nipples from the cool morning air sticking through the light grey fabric. he stares for another moment before he just can’t stop himself.

“i hate to ask this of you so early in the mornin’ but uh— please let me touch them.” he rushes out, eyes wide and saucepan-like and you roll your eyes tiredly, taking his hands and pressing them to your tits.

“dont have to ask, jj. they’re yours to grab whenever you want.” you pur, knowing the effect it’ll have on him. he keels over a little from his now knelt position.

“oh wow— okay, yeah saying that kinda thing is totally unfair. you know that’s gonna brick me up babe. c’mon.” he lightly scolds as he massages your chest, getting his moneys worth.

“such a shame jj… can i help you with it? the least i could do?” you flutter your lashes and gently paw at his chest so he lays back down, quickly sliding down his body and dropping kisses to his pelvis making his jaw drop.

“its like i made you in a freaking lab… jesus.”

“i just like breakfast in bed, jayj.” you giggle, starting to mouth at his tip as he reaches full stiffness. he tucks his tongue between his lips with a smile as he watches you, before commenting quietly.

“yeah. sausage n’eggs right? ow— okay, that’s my bad.” he’s met with your teeth sinking into his thigh.

˖⁺‧₊˚🐈‍⬛˚₊‧⁺˖

[sleepyangelkami]

PASTORS DAUGHTER I e.williams

 ☆ WORD COUNT - 5.8K

ELLIE WILLIAMS X FEM!READER

 ☆ SUMMARY - ellie williams had always been best friends with the pastors daughter, the rebel who went against every single thing her mother and father told her to. Ellie knew this, she was used to this. However, what she wasn't used to, what she seemed to never understand was her little sister. She never crossed a line, adored anything and everything thrown in her clutch, never made her mother or father frown and wore a pretty silver cross around her neck. ellie williams wanted nothing more than to rip it off and have the pasters daughter whimpering beneath her. she didn't know a little lust could create this mess.

 ☆ WARNINGS - intended lower case, implied smut, suggestive themes, innocence kink, size kink?, argument with parents, yelling, homophobia, religious 'trauma'?, slow burn, use of y/n, sisters best friend trope lmao. I don't know much about rules or whatever in religion but we're not gathered here to read about jesus because we worship ellie williams!!!

series masterlist

ash/ashley = older sister btw!

ellie williams still remembered the exact moment she laid eyes on you, y/n l/n, her best friends little sister. It was christmas and ashley had dragged her to this stupid holy party, it was the church that was organising it so it was mandatory that ashley be there to celebrate the birth of jesus alongside her father who had done the mass. she had done everything in her power not to be there but her parents had enough of her scandals and 'shaming' the family name. she forced her to come with the simple permission that she would be allowed to bring a plus one, as if the whole town weren't already coming. ellie remembered laughing in her face earlier that night, stating that she should have a good time by herself but by no means would the girl be joining her.

and yet there she stood at one of the back walls of the church.

she pulled her flannel closer to her figure, ignoring the way the winter air continuously made her shiver. she watched as ashley conversed with an older couple, and with everything in her ellie attempted not to burst out laughing at how out of place she looked. her parents had forced her to converse with the guests, stating it would be rude if she had ignored them and ellie simply waved her off stating she'd be fine against one of the walls. ellie williams knew the pastor and his wife hated her already so who was she to keep them waiting? she simply held a snarky grin with a quick 'father and mrs. l/n.' as a greeting.

"if you're cold, we have hot coco."

the sound of a girl's voice almost made ellie williams fall over, however, she stabilized herself against the teal wall behind her with chipped paint. "what?" no doubt her voice had come out much ruder than intended due to the fright she had gotten.

but then she turned and she saw it. she saw you. you were dressed in a little red dress, ultimately a lot more festive than she. your hair was pinned back but not all of it, a lot still sat at your shoulders, almost covering that pretty silver chain you wore, a holy cross pendant on it. it didn't take ellie much after that, your sweet tone, your mary jane shoes, the way your fingers fiddled with one another in slight worry. she knew then and there she had to absolutely ruin you. "well, i just meant that if you wanted to get a little warmer, we're giving out hot coco over there b-but you don't have to." suddenly your voice was quieter, much more anxiety filled in it as you worried you may have upset the girl, your father was always telling you how you spoke too much.

and as apologetic as ellie was, as she wanted nothing more than to instantly let an apology tumble from her lips, instantly state that you were not the reason she was using such a tone, that it was merely the fact she hated everything in this goddamn church, she was interrupted before she could utter a word. "well, i see you've met the prize possession of the family." ellie whipped around to see ashley practically by her side, leaning against one of the old wooden chairs. "ellie meet y/n, my little sister, and y/n this is ellie." little sister? ellie had heard all about you. about how you were practically a pastor yourself, how you devoted your very life to god, got at least nineties in every single test, how you outshone ashley l/n in just about everything you did and yet somehow she loved you more than anything in the world.

and of course you had heard about ellie williams, how could you not have? she was a delinquent. if you hadn't heard about all of ellie and ashley's amazing adventures, filled with alcohol and ciagrette's, you would have known her from school. of course, she'd never notice a girl like you, in a grade below her, head always down in the hallways and clutching your bag as if it were a safety net. but ellie williams, everyone knew ellie williams. she was either beating up some kid who 'deserved it' or snapping at a teacher with a raised voice. nonetheless, you always steered clear of the girl. your parents had a morbid distaste to the girl, you knew that much and yet every time she came knocking at the door, she was allowed into the house instantly and appointed up to your older sisters bedroom. everytime she had been there you were either at choir, an after school club or sitting out in the backyard, maybe once or twice in the living room. whatever the case, she was in the house, grabbing your sister and back out of there, she never had time to stick around and meet you.

ellie's sage eyes sunk down to your silky thighs and how your puffed out red dress flowed around them perfectly, then her eyes racked up to where your chest was, completely covered by the red fabric, she couldn't help but wonder what you wore underneath. however, you were her best friends sister, that certainly... complicated things. she was brought back to life at the sight of your shiny silver cross. "nice to meet you, y/n, heard a lot about you." and suddenly the two girls giggled as if it were an inside joke. you hated being the joke.

your doe eyes turned up at your sister, worry stricken features. "she's fuckin' with you, y/n/n." nickname tumbling from her lips easily as she spun around to face ellie, her arm being tossed over your shoulder. ashley was slightly shorter than ellie, however, you were a great deal shorter than your sister. it made ellie wonder just how bigger she was. she wondered how her hands would fit in your own, pinning you down, how they'd caress and squish your pudgy thighs together. she wondered how small you'd look beneath her. suddenly, she was thinking of every sound you could possibly make and god she tried hard not to show it on her face.

her dirty thoughts were cut short with the sound of your name being spoke briskly yet swiftly, a hint of authority in the sharp tone. you snapped your head to the side to see an awaiting mother of yours, standing with two candle sticks. "what's up her ass now?" ashley questioned, giving her mother a strange look. it was no secret that the girl simply found her own parents insufferable. and even with her tone, you managed to ignore her crude words especially in the 'house of god', you were very much used to your sisters language. (not that you approved)

you swallowed briefly. "i promised daddy i'd light the candles for 'em." and yet you yawned as you spoke, hand coming up to rub at your eye. you were tired. and while everything in ellie was fighting with her to all but coo at your tired face she couldn't deny the way she swallowed harshly at the sound of the word 'daddy' tumbling from your lips. you were so fucking innocent. the brunette girl was rolling up her sleeves, puffing out air and fawning that the weather had taken a certain change as if she weren't completely hot by her own corrupt mind. but how could she not? when your white stockings stood out so prominently and your fingers wound together, despite the two little thin silver rings, one with a butterfly the other with the smallest of hearts with a little pink stone. you turned back to ellie, eyes boring into her own sage green ones. the moon, the stars and even the light snow that had begun falling did everything in their might to tear your eyes from her and yet you just stared. "uhm— it was really nice to meet you, ellie, i hope to see you around more often." noticing the impatient look in your devil like mothers eyes.

"you too, sweetheart." it just came out.

eyes wide from all you, ashley and ellie. belive it or not, but the girl had surprised even herself. with blushing cheeks and secretive eyes you shared the pair one last glance before rushing off. ellie williams did nothing but stare. she stared at the way your hair bounced off your back, the way your dress lifted up as you walked with a pep in your step, attempting to get as close to your mother as fast as humanly possible. she stared. dazed. "dude. what?" ashley practically shoved ellie to get her attention, a confused look on her face as she raised a brow.

"is your sister gay?"

"shut the fuck up."

gay? you? the most religious girl in the whole town? it was a funny assumption, something that ashley could only deem humorous. and while ellie laughed along with the girl, fixing her sleeves with a grin on her face, she couldn't deny the way her eyes drifted back to you, a wide smile etched to your own face, smiling from ear to ear at one of the younger boys who was asking you a question about something religion related. ellie williams hated nothing more than people preaching and preaching about a god she didn't care an ounce for, but for you... for you she thought she may just listen until your dripping words went dry.

that was the night that ellie williams set eyes for y/n l/n and never looked back.

you couldn't deny your own infatuation for the girl yourself. you began to notice the days she came over, how she began to linger in your house, spend dinner with your strange family, how she began to sleep over at least twice a week. you brushed it off for simple admiration, almost envy. you were a girl who was simply caught in the bubble, there you were safe. but something about ellie was so... dangerous, enduring. she lived freely, with a grin in her face wherever she went, she cockily spoke in front of a crowd, one in which she could easily point out your eyes.

she was in another squabble with one of the teachers. it was the male physical education teachers who wore the very same pair of tracksuit end shorts every day. you had merely been a bypasser, books clutched to your chest tightly as you ignored absolutely everything around you. you often tuned yourself out in school, it was the only realistic way to get by. you recited a quote from a book in which you had read that previous night. if you were being honest, you hadn't even noticed the commotion in the hallway, until, that was, a sound of a voice rung out. "y/n." your head snapping towards ellie who had teachers surrounding her, a disappointed look on all their faces, some kids videoed the interactions, others laughed, most kids stopped to see what was going on at least. her greeting had caught you off guard. "how ya doin'?" a grin planted on her lips as she bent her head down at you. your eyes were as wide as saucers as random looks were thrown your way by teenagers you had never even met. it was no secret that y/n l/n was the 'good girl' of the school, how couldn't she be when she spent every day inside a chapel, she was laughable. some kid's brows furrowed and suddenly you could hear everyone whisper your name in confusion to one another. Mr. Lionel, the english teacher and your personal favourite of the school, grasped ellie's arm and attempted to shove her into the classroom they were standing out of. you watched with wide eyes as he slammed the door shut. "you can't legally do that!" you heard the muffled shout of ellie williams who was undoubtedly speaking of the fact the teacher put his hands on her without so much as asking.

you whipped around, ignoring the varying stares and hard gazes, head bound downwards.

but that didn't mean that you were necessarily ashamed to know ellie williams let alone have befriended her, no, you were beyond proud. "you're so cool." you admired in a dazed state.

"aren't I just?" your sister boasted as she showed off her black nails. she glanced over at you, your head resting in your arms that rested on the table, simply watching her in admiration. "you know, you could always come with us." she was meeting with ellie and going to another party. it was a wonder if your parents knew and just decided to ignore it.

your brows raised so high they almost reached your hairline. "me? a party?" giggling as your own sister rolled her eyes with a grin on her face, the idea did sound stupid now that she thought back on it.

"true." pocketing the black nailpolish. "run along i'm sure you have just about everything to do in that shitty little church."

your smile faltered but you fixed it instantly, not wishing to ruin the mood. this was your problem, you were too damn emotional. "tell ellie i said hi." as you stood from the kitchen table, grasping a hold of your small white handbag, you truly did have things to be doing.

"i will." smiling up at you. "see you later, y/n/n." you bid your goodbye then with the tiniest of simpers but as soon as you shut the front door with a small frown etched to your face.

you loved being so involved in your religion, you did, but it was times like this that you truly hated it. you wanted to go out with ellie and ashley. you wanted to make friends, you wanted people not to be scared of getting too close to you seeing as you were just too involved with your religion, you wanted a life that didn't revolve around the church you seemingly always found yourself in.

"you're so fucking stupid!" giggling wildly as she laid her back against the bed, long hair falling down beneath her face.

"you would have done the exact same thing!" ellie defended with an accusing finger being pointed at ashley who was much higher than her.

steam filled the room so much so that ellie could see how condensation was building up on the windows of ashley's bedroom. "i would have ran in the opposite direction, are you kidding me?" flipping over so she was laying on her stomach, laughing at her best friend who was sat with her legs crossed across from her. ellie liked having a best friend that was straight, this way no feelings ever got muddled up. besides, ellie would rant all she pleased about girls and ashley could only do it ten times more about the boys she's been with. then again, it was sad that they'd never get to see the preacher and his wife's face when they said that one of their daughters was gay. they'd often make jokes about how if ellie was a l/n she would have been disowned by now, ellie thanked the moon and stars that joel miller couldn't care less about jesus. the sound of a door opening from downstairs caused the girls to freeze. "shit!"

"ashley!" ellie complained as they both jumped up, slamming the windows open and doing everything in their will to get the goddamn smell out. "you said they had church duty until eight." if mr or mrs. l/n found ashley and ellie smoking weed in their house, there was absolutely no telling how bad this would go.

"they do!" she argued, pulling her sleeve down her arm so she could wipe away the condensation from the window. ellie pushed imaginary air out the window as if it were doing anything. they were still much too high for any of this. it was what hotboxing did to you. filling the room with smoke so you could get even more high, now thinking about it, it was sort of a stupid idea. the sound of footsteps growing nearer caused the girl's heart rate to speed up by a thousand. "shit, shit, shit."

the door knob twisted and ellie and ashley plopped onto the bed, ashley with the joint behind her back. "ash, do you ha-" you stopped mid sentence, mid opening the door, mid walking right in. your face cringed. "what's that smell?" not bothering to ask your sister before picking up her can of vanilla air freshener in which you had gifted her after stating her room had smelled as though she let a skunk inside a couple of weeks ago.

the girls sighed, deflating in relaxation as ashley pulled the joint out from behind her back. "weed." taking a drag of it to ease her previous nerves.

"oh." you tilted your head, watching the two girls sitting on the bed. ashley passed the joint to ellie who instantly took a drag. their hair was dishevelled and tousled, both their hoodies discarded and eyes red as ever, pupils blown large. "is that why you look like you're crying?" ashley nodded. "oh."

ellie took a long drag from the joint, looking your frame up and down. you were dressed in a summers dress, her favourite, it was white with little lilac flowers littered around the fabric, a woollen purple cardigan hanging over your frame too. her eyes moved down to your thighs, you seemed to notice and did something that made ellie almost groan. you squeezed them together, clearing your throat. instead, she smirked, poor baby, you didn't even know what was wrong. ellie knew the feeling well, it was the same feeling that left her in her bedroom on many nights with her hand between her legs, the image of you caught in her mind.

"thought you were at church with mom and dad." the church had a thousand events for the community a week and you were always there but this time, you shook your head.

"me, ruth and maxine went to the movies." you moved so you could open up your sisters wardrobe, she made no attempt to argue.

"ruth and maxine? those girls you were talking to in school?" you nodded, picking at her unfolded clothes. ruth and maxine were two known lesbians, it was a wonder how your parents let you hang out with them, there was only one solution to the question, they didn't know.

"whatcha lookin' for, sweetheart?" passing the joint to ashley. the girl was used to ellie's nicknames for you, she learned to tune herself out. ellie leaned forward, elbows to her knees to crane her neck in attempts to glance into the wardrobe. half the clothing were her own, she may be some use, she may not.

your cheeks reddened at the petname. "ash took my yellow shirt." sending a playful glare towards her sister who simply blew smoke out, rolling her eyes. ellie assumed it was the one you adored more than anything, tight short sleeved light yellow and always clinging to your body. yeah, ellie couldn't forget something that looked that good on you.

"i know how you feel, ashley's always stealing my clothes too." an accusing glare being sent her way.

ashley threw her hands in the air. "why are we hating on me right now?" ellie sent you a glance with brows raised that had a small giggle falling from your lips. "and y/n/n i'm pretty sure i left it at sofia's house." you turned to give her an unamused look. "i'll get it back, promise."

you nodded and began picking up the few articles of clothing you had left drop. you folded them before adding them on top because unlike your sister, you wanted her room to be clean. you picked up one of the larger shirts and flipped it around. "this is so cool!" it was a dark grey shirt that looked much too big to fit you and had a skeleton design to make it look as though someone was looking inside your chest and stomach.

ellie turned her head up to look at it. "oh, that's mine." she stated, realising that it was her shirt that she had left too many sleepovers ago. she bit down on her bottom lip watching the way you seemed in awe of her clothing. "you can have it."

your eyes went wide, biting down on your bottom lip. "oh, no i can't take it." suddenly feeling a little embarrassed, you didn't wish to steal her clothing.

"no, seriously, ashley takes my clothes all the time." again, ashley rolled her eyes. "seriously, i don't wear it anymore." truth be told, she couldn't remember the last time she had even seen that shirt.

"are— are you sure?" you mumbled behind the fabric. you really did like the shirt.

ellie didn't stay over that night, joel had stated that he wanted another movie night and who was she to refuse? however, she did decide that the next night would certainly be spent at the l/n household. joel approved, somewhat. he had met ashley a too many times to count and he truly did like her, he thought that she and ashley were very alike and he liked that. he didn't care for the l/n family, not the mother and father at least, he had heard many stories of what they were like from ashley and that was certainly enough to keep him away. however, on the times that he went to gatherings or even mass like on christmas, when he felt obliged to, he saw you, y/n l/n and every time he questioned ellie why she didn't bring you over to the house. she always stated that you guys simply 'weren't like that' but your excited grin and wave when she entered the church spoke something else.

she brought her hand up to the white door, knocking softly while kicking around dust with her shoe. she always covered her tattoo at your house, it was one thing to get a tattoo at sixteen in front of joe miller who really couldn't care less but even at her age now, she wouldn't be caught dead showing it to your parents, she knew how much they disliked her already.

the door swung open to reveal a distressed looking ashley. "oh, thank god you're here." practically pulling ellie in the door, she made a noise of complaint at the abruptness. "this house is officially fucking scaring me."

ellie bent down slightly to her friend. "what's going on?" whispering, seeing as she had noticed how ashley had done the same.

"mom and dad have finally lost it, that's what going on." she stopped ellie in front of the stairs, where they could barely peek into the living room where the whole scene was unfolding.

"but that's not fair!" you were sat on the couch, your parents standing tall in front of you, intimidating you. your eyes rung red, lashes wet and cheeks tear stained. "t-they're my friends!" blubbering out through your feeble cries. ellie's brows furrowed and her eyes softened at the sight of you so upset. you were a bubbly girl, always obliging to everything and here you were feebly trying to defend whatever you were working against, it seemed to be failing tremendously.

"you have never spoken back to us like this." your father stated in a disappointed tone that made your gut twist. "whether you can see it or not, these 'friends' are changing you. they're a bad influence!" you scoffed, turning your face away from them as you roughly wiped your tear stained cheeks. you felt pathetic, crying in front of them and for something so utterly stupid. ellie watched with a sad frown etched to her face watching as you sunk into the couch, you looked so... small.

"don't give us that attitude!" your mother yelled upon seeing you scoff.

you gave them desperate, pleading eyes. "i didn't say anything." voice breaking as if you finally began to give up, you always did with your parents.

"do you know how much your father does for you?" your mother was not as tall as your father but certainly just as scary. "and for you to throw it away like that! do you know what would have happened if someone saw you there?!" she was getting in your face, much too close for a parent.

ashley tugged on ellie's arm, leading her up the stairs while ellie's eyes stayed strained on you until you were finally out of view. "they were driving through town today." ellie nodded, listening to every word hanging from ashley's lips. "and they ran into y/n with her new friends, ruth and maxine."

ellie's brows furrowed in confusion. "i thought your parents were okay with them."

"yeah they were." she opened the door to her bedroom. "until they found out they were gay." ellie's look went cold. they didn't know she herself was gay but that didn't matter because ashley had tarnished the name already, they wouldn't care if she was friends with ellie, it was simply the fact that it was y/n l/n their precious bead and they simply couldn't afford another 'screw up'.

ellie bit down on her bottom lip, cracking her knuckles. "what fucking tools." her brows were tied together, a burning feeling buried inside her chest. "should we say something?" as if your parents would ever hear the girl out.

ashley simply shook her head. "would just make it worse. for us and for her." ellie nodded her head despite the way she bit down on her bottom lip, taking a seat on the bed. "look, don't worry about it, ellie." she took a seat next to her friend. "the worst they can do is kick her into the bedroom and make her pray herself to sleep." a small chuckle falling from her lips, she knew her sister and her parents well, yes, they were hard on her but they'd never do anything to hurt her. "she'll be okay." ellie nodded once more, sitting herself back on the pillows and flicking through the dvd's in which ashley had left out on the bed, ready to pick one. it seemed as though the girl was contemplating something but ellie paid no mind. maybe she should have, she may have been able to prevent the next words that tumbled from her lips. "seriously though, ellie, you gotta get over this crush." ellie's hands froze.

with wide eyes, she looked up at her best friend. "what? i don't—"

ashley cut her off. "ellie, i know." and the simple sentence was enough to send ellie's thoughts into a spiral. "and it's okay it's just—you saw how my mom and dad were because she had gay friends... and you know y/n doesn't like to upset daddy dearest."

the older girl sighed, defeated. "are you mad?"

ashley almost laughed. "mad?" grinning as she shook her head. "on the contrary, i'm rooting for you."

that night ellie didn't sleep much, worry-filled thoughts swarming her mind. it was rare that ellie williams found herself awake, nevermind at the l/n house at this kind of hour. she couldn't help it, the way her mind so easily floated back to you. the way your teary eyes gazed up at your parents, she felt so bad. guilt consumed her and yet she had nothing to feel guilty for. she wondered how a little lust that day she had met you in the church, looking pretty in a red dress had gotten her here, losing sleep over wondering if you were okay. you were the family favourite, you did everything right and it was for them. ellie couldn't shake the thought of your pretty eyes filled with tears or the way your lips turned darker due to the crying, red raw from the way you had gnawed on it so hard, attempting to block out your own parents voices. ellie couldn't remember when the shouting stopped that night but ashley did everything she could to block it out, playing music, talking extra loud, even going as far as laughing madly at one of ellie's jokes that wasn't even funny. ashley was your sister, certainly she felt some sort of sympathy for you. and she did, for she knew that when these things happened she couldn't intervene, she had before and it was safe to say that things didn't end well for either of you. so she blocked the majority of everything out. ellie sighed and sat up in the double king sized bed. she looked down at ashley. "ashley. ash." pushing her frame around to wake her, all she got was a groan and a swat on the hand. ashley turned around, plopping herself back on the bed and snoring rather loudly, ellie fought very hard not to roll her eyes to the back of her head. there was simply no way she was getting any sleep yet, so she took it upon herself to get out of the bed, there was no luck by staring up at the ceiling and drowning in her own thought consuming mind.

she turned and hung her feet off the side of the bed, pulling on her grey socks so her feet could hit the floor calmly.

ellie scratched at the back of her neck as she walked down the stairs as quietly as humanly possible. she needed some water, then she'd go back to bed, she promised herself that much after all it would be her that was shook awake before nine in the morning.

stepping into the kitchen, the girl momentarily froze at the sight of you, sipping on water as you leaned against the counter. you too froze, eyes blown wide. when did ellie get here? had she been listening the whole time? suddenly, you went red with embarrassment at the thought of ellie listening to you fight with your parents, crying and yelling. "ellie— hi."

"hey, baby." you ignored the way your stomach twisted and your heart jumped not one but two paces. ellie ignored the way her own did the very same as she saw you dressed in her, now your, shirt with only the smallest of baby pink shorts to accompany it, so small that ellie wouldn't have noticed it if not for the obvious contrast in colors between it and the shirt. "can't sleep?" you shook your head, sipping on the glass of water while ellie got her own, filling it from the faucet. you ignored the silence aside from water splashing into the clear cup, ellie ignored the way her eyes flickered towards your pretty silver cross still sitting idly on your chest. ellie knew she shouldn't ask but surprise surprise her lips parted anyway. "ashley told me why you were fighting." you bit down on your bottom lip. "you okay?"

"yeah, i just—" you could feel yourself getting emotional again already. god, y/n, pull yourself together. "i don't know how to tell ruth and maxine that i'm not allowed to talk to them anymore." looking down at your white socks.

"you're not allowed to talk to them at all?" shaking your head, you shuffled your feet around. "because they're gay?" you looked up in slight shock by how easily the word came out in such a casual tone. you weren't even permitted to whisper the word as it was.

clearing your throat, you shook away your slight shock. "yeah and—and i think it's stupid." furrowing your brows together. ellie hadn't heard you state your opinion loud enough before, or at all really, you went along with everything your parents said as to not upset them, doing the very same with your sister, she listened silently. "because they can have their own beliefs, i don't care it's just—they're my friends. and i don't care that they're gay because it doesn't change anything. and i liked having gay friends because they..." they understood you. you stopped mid sentence, eyes wide at what you were almost ready to admit. your eyes snapped towards ellie who was watching you, her glass of water now abandoned on the counter as she waited patiently for you to finish your sentence. "I'm sorry, i don't know why i said all that." suddenly you wished you were inside your bedroom, being sucked into your bed sheets, yeah, that sounded pretty nice right about now. "i'm sorry, i have to go to bed."

and you tried to escape and almost did if it weren't for the hand that instantly caught your arm. you could see ellie's tattoo now that she was in a tank top, her hand was much larger than your arm, it bound around it easily. "they what?" her eyes pleaded for you to continue.

"ellie..." your eyes moved to the top of her hair, she was so much taller than you, they gazed into her own jade pair of irises, then they moved across her flush cheeks dusted with freckles, along the slope of her nose and finally, they rested on her pink lips. "you know." she did, she always did.

"spell it out for me, angel." you took a step back, she took a step forward, you remembered hitting your back against the counter, stumping you from moving at all.

"you— you can't call me those names anymore, ellie." mumbling as your eyes never stopped their light tracing against her lips.

"why?" whisper so gentle that you almost didn't hear her but you could, very clearly when she was so close, lips so close.

"ellie." almost a warning. "I can't." her face was getting closer, yours was growing hotter, pink dusted your cheeks and your lips almost chased her face. you had never kissed anyone before. that was what she was trying to do wasn't it?

"you can't?" dipping her head down so her face met yours. she didn't stop there. "or you won't?" as her hot breath hit your neck, you sucked in a breath.

"i— i think you should go." but you didn't want her to go, you really didn't want her to go.

"you wan't me here?" as a wet kiss came down to the skin of your neck, you gasped out, blinking. this was a dream, it had to be. you felt almost euphoric as her lips flattened against the crook of your neck, the way they kissed you so delicately as if you were made of glass. she moved her head back up almost instantly, as if her own actions weren't affecting her. her lips brushed against your own, so closely that you could taste her. "or here?"

you weren't proud of what you did next.

main masterlist/ellie's masterlist

[portraitsofsaints]

Saint Mary Magdalene

1st century

Feast day: July 22

Patronage: contemplative life, converts, glove makers, hairdressers, penitent sinners, sexual temptation

Mary Magdalen has been called the second-most important woman in the New Testament after Mary the mother of Jesus. Mary Magdalen traveled with Jesus as one of His followers. She was present at Jesus' two most important moments: the crucifixion and the resurrection. Within the four Gospels, the oldest historical record mentioning her name, she is named at least 12 times, more than most of the apostles. The Gospel references describe her as courageous, brave enough to stand by Jesus in his hours of suffering, death and beyond.

Prints, plaques & holy cards available for purchase here: (website)

[fkapommel]

Etymology of TLT Character Names

Wanted to provide a fandom resource for analysis and theorizing. Since House names are explained in GTN, this list will just focus on first names. DM me for sources. Enjoy <3

Gideon

Biblical prophet, military leader, and judge, meaning "feeler," "hewer," or "one who cuts down." According to narrative, the Israelites had forgotten their god for 40 years and were punished by assaults from enemy tribes. After Israel turned back to God for aid, Gideon, an unnoteworthy Israelite, was delivered the message by an angel that he should lead Israel against its enemies. Gideon requested three miracles be done by God to prove his and God's ability to do this task, which God then performed. Gideon then completes God's tasks, including destroying an idol of Baal in the Israelite camp and displacing a much larger enemy encampment. Gideon delivered 40 years of peace for Israel during his lifetime and refused kinghood and dynasty when offered by his people. However, upon his death, the Israelites returned to worshipping Baal. A "Gideonic victory" can mean winning a battle against the odds.

Harrowhark

Harrowing - to use a piece of farming equipment to level soil, break rocks, and kill weeds to ready the dirt for seed growth. Also refers to the Harrowing of Hell, a non-Biblical, early to middle English traditional episode in which Jesus, upon death by crucifixtion, enters the Underworld to preach salvation to souls interned there before his birth, thus allowing them to enter Heaven. This tradition has been canonized by Catholic theology.

Hark - the first word of many ancient texts or announcements, meaning "listen." Biblical angelic speeches often begin with "hark."

Judith

The feminine of Judah, a Biblical Hebrew name meaning "praised," "woman of Judea/Jewess." The name Judith appears twice in the deuterocanonical Bible: once as one of Esau's wives and seperately as the titular character in the Book of Judith (a book not part of the canonized Bible). In the Book of Judith, Judith is described as a widow who uses her wit, charm, and skills of seduction to be invited to the private tent of Holofernes, the general of the enemy Assyrian army who had laid siege to her city. Judith is able to get Holofernes drunk and overpowers him, decapitates him, and steals his head to show to her city. She is of the few illustrations of the "ideal Jewish woman."

Marta

Derived from Aramaic, meaning "the daughter," "the lady," and "dedicated to Mars"

Isaac

Meaning "he laughs," referring to the father of the Biblical character's laugh of disbelief when God told him, Abraham, that his nonogenarian wife would conceive his child. Isaac is one of the three patriarchs of Israel, grandfather to the 12 tribes. When Isaac was a child, God commanded Abraham to take him up a mountain and sacrifice his child in His name. When Abraham proved his obedience, God provided a ram to sacrifice instead of Isaac. Isaac went on to marry Rebekah; though they eventually believed her to be barren, after Isaac prayed to God, Rebekah concieved twin boys, Esau and Jacob, at an old age, just as his mother did. Rebekah grew to prefer Jacob. Later, due to Sarah and Jacob's scheming, Isaac gave Esau's birthright to his second-born son, Jacob. Jacob would live on to father the twelve tribes of Israel.

Jeannemary

This specific spelling seems to be an invention of Tazmuir, but the duel components of the name are significant. Firstly, "Jean-Marie" is a French masculine name. Jeanne is the feminine form of the English "John." "Jeanne"  can be traced to a Biblical Hebrew name, meaning "God is gracious." The most notable historical character of the same name is Jeanne d'Arc, a young female military leader who acted under divine guidance. Upon instruction of archangels and saints, Jeanne fought in pursuit of the coronation of Charless VII during the 100 Years War. Her leadership led to multiple military victories but was punctuated by multiple failures. The unsuccessful relief of a besieged city led to her capture and deliverance to the English, who tried her for blasphemy by wearing men's clothes and refusing submission to Church authority. Found guilty, Jeanne was burned at the stake at 19.

Mary is the most notable feminine name of the Christian Bible, referring predominately to Mary, mother of Jesus Christ, Mary Bethany, and Mary Magdalene, a female disciple of Jesus. Mary was born immaculately - without sin - so that she would be a pure vessel to carry Jesus, who she concieved as a virgin. Mary Bethany was a friend of Jesus and sister to Lazarus. She was deeply emotional about her brother's passing, which persuaded Jesus to resurrect her brother from the grave. Mary Magdalene was a probably wealthy Jewish woman who aided Jesus' teachings. As a loyal apostle, she was a witness at both His crucifixtion and resurrection.

Coronabeth

"Coronabeth," like "Jeannemary," is an obvious Tazmuir invention. "Corona" refers to both the part of the body that resembles a crown and to a colored circular frame around a stellar body, usually caused by its atmosphere.

"Beth" is derived from both "Elizabeth" ("God is my oath") and "Bethany" ("House of Figs"). The suffix -beth comes from Hebrew origins, meaning "house."

Ianthe

From the Ancient Greek, meaning "violet flower" or "she who delights." She was one of the 3,000 water-nymphs called Oceanides, daughters of the Titans. Ianthe and her sisters served as a companion to Persephone when she was in Hades. She is also a character in Ovid's Metamorphosis as the beautiful fiancé to Iphis, a character who has her/his gender changed by the goddess Isis.

Note on the Tridentarii: Coronabeth was almost called "Cainabeth" and Ianthe "Abella" after the two Biblical brother characters, Cain and Abel. In the narrative, God preferred Abel's divine sacrifices and loved him more than his brother. In a jealous rage, Cain killed Abel and hid from his crime, his family, and his God. When God asked him, "Where is your brother?" Cain returned, "I am not my brother's keeper." Angered, He cursed Cain with the Mark of Cain. Separately, the first fratricide cursed the Earth to never turn over its vegetation to Cain, the first murderer. His Mark symbolizes him as a wanderer, a person who belongs nowhere; however, it also protects him from the curses and abuse of others, returning scorned words and abuses back to the harasser seven-fold. Though Coronabeth and Ianthe received their names elsewhere, the lusty, jealous, murderous themes of Cain and Abel's narrative were present at the time of their creation and thus should not be dismissed.

Naberius

Though I can't find the meaning of the name, "Naberius" is rooted in Latin. It first appears in Johann Weyer's 1583 manuscript, "The Deceptions of Demons." Naberius, or "Cerberus" - relation to the same named three-headed dog of Ancient Greek theology unknown - is a Marquess of Hell, directing 19 legions of demons. He provides cunningness of the arts, sciences, and rhetoric in man through vocal instruction and can restore lost honors and dignities. His semblance is of a man with three dog heads or a raven.

Abigail

Biblical Hebrew name meaning "my father's joy," "my father is exalted." Abigail is a Biblical figure, being the third wife of King David and mother to one of his sons. She is a strong believer in the prophecy of David's ascension and his great dynasty. Abigail is considered to be one of the seven Jewish woman prophets and, in the Talmud, of the four women "surpassing beauty in this world." The word "Abigail" can refer nonspecifically to a waiting woman or handmaiden.

Palamedes

There are two notable historical fiction characters that share the name "Palamedes." Palamades was an ancient Grecian prince who joined the battle of Troy, according to the Aenid. After Paris had taken Helen to Troy, Palamedes was sent as envoy from Agamemnon to Odysseus because the latter man had previously vowed to defend Helen's marriage. Odysseus, however, did not want to attend the war, but Palamedes was successful in proving his fitness for war and ultimately delivering Odysseus to Troy. According to some traditions, Odysseus never forgave Palamedes for this and eventually killed him. In the Apology, Plato characterizes Socrates as looking forward to death in order to speak with Palamedes.

Secondly, Sir Palamedes is a knight of the round-table, a Saracen pagan (or probable Muslim) who converted to Christiantiy later in life. He is introduced dueling another knight, Sir Tristan, for a lady's hand, which he loses; these two fight several more times but with unclear victories, leading to a hate-love relationship deepened by their love for the same woman (the woman of their first duel). Many stories have Palamedes as the hunter of the Questing Beast, a fearsome animal the target of many a fruitless hunt. After years of pursuit, it is ultimately his freedom from wordly material granted by his Christian conversion that allows him to slaughter the beast. He remains loyal to Sir Lancelot after his affair with Queen Guinevere is revealed and follows Lancelot to France. Sir Palamedes is later killed by Sir Gawain. Except in matters concerning his love and Sir Tristan, where he often lost control of his anger, he was one of the most chivalrous and honorable knights.

Note: The story of Sir Palamedes, as a product of Arthurian legend, is nearly impossible to summarize properly due to its expansiveness and document fragmentation. If interested in the topic (such as the wink wink homo-erotic love-hate relationship he has with Sir Tristan,) i encourage futher research.

Camilla

"Camilla" is the feminine of "Camillus," a Latin term meaning acolyte, a helper of the Priest during religious processionals and ceremonies. In the Aeneid, Camilla is a queen gifted to the goddess Diana as a handmaiden who became a virginal Amazon warrior.

Dulcinea

"Dulcinea" is a name created by Don Quixote for his character, derivative of the Spanish word "dulce" meaning "sweetness." Princess Dulcinea was invented in the titular character's mind to be the most perfect, beautiful, and regal woman since he believes chivalry requires such a lady of him. To refer to a loved one as like Dulcinea is to express your idealistic devotion and love to her.

Protesilaus

"Protesilaus" may come from the Ancient Greek "protus" for "first." Protesilaus was a hero in the Iliad. According to an oracle, the first Greek to set foot on land after sailing to fight the Trojan War would die. Protesilaus was the first to dare step off ship; he sealed his fate then, later dying in combat. His widow was so devoted to his memory that she built a bronze statue with his likeness. She later self-emulated when the statue was burned and destroyed.

Silas

Latin in origin, "Silas" means "of the forest." Notable figures named "Silas" include first century St. Silas, who accompanied St. Paul on his second mission. He is credited as co-author of the two letters to Thessalonians and the Book of Hebrews; however, authoriship is disputed. St. Silas is sometimes depicted with broken chains due to an episode in which an earthquake freed him and St. Paul from imprisonment.

Colum

From the Gaelic word for "dove"

[blue-lotus333]

Kali-Ma in (a few) different religions.

Firstly, who is Kali-ma?:

Kali-ma is the wrathful and protective force of Shakti (energy/power), often called the goddess of destruction, doomsday, transformation and time. She's a caring mother to her devotees and the destroyer of evil.

Kali-ma in Buddhism

Palden Lhamo is a protector of Buddhist & a bodhisattva associated with prosperity, protection & success

The connection between Kali-ma and the protectress bodhisattva Palden Lhamo suggests a link between the two traditions.

Palden Lhamo has many names: Sri Devi, Palden Lhamo Kalidevi, and so on.

“Palden lhamo Kalidevi” This name alone suggests a connection to Kali-ma in Hinduism. This connection may be due to the geographic proximity of the Himalayan region, where Hindu deities may have been absorbed into Buddhism.

Kali ma in Christianity

known as "Sara Kali" or "Sara la Kali," is revered by the Romani people and is the patroness of displaced people. There is a popular belief that she was either an Egyptian-Indian slave of one of the 3 Mary's or the lost daughter of Jesus.

When the Romani people were persecuted and forced to convert to Christianity, they blended their indigenous Hindu beliefs with Christian practices, creating a form of syncretism.

The name "Sara" itself is seen in the appellation of Durga as Kali-ma in the famed text “Durgasaptashati"

[majordemonblockparty]

mary campbell winchester who doesn't necessarily regret her demon deal, because she loves john, she does, in a deep and intense and preternatural way that scares her, sometimes, if she looks at it head-on for too long, but sometimes....

sometimes she just misses what she lost. what she traded in exchange for john. to have his snapped neck put back to rights and the breath put back in his lungs; what has to stay dead because she wanted john alive more.

she misses her parents when she has to clean out the house without him. she calls her cousins, campbell kids semi-settled within a day's driving distance, and four of them descend on lawrence to gut the house of everything hunting related before john gets it in his head to help her. she misses her daddy when she puts her hands on john's chest and looks up at him with real, actual tears trembling on her waterline and tells him she needs to be alone to pack up her parents' things. she misses her mama when john tucks her hair back from her face like she's something delicate and worth protecting, something that wouldn't trade two lives already lost for his.

it all has to go, everything hunting.

they pack it up into cardboard boxes and plastic milk crates -- the books, the journals; the cb radio set in the den and the armory behind the false wall in the bedroom; thousands of rounds packed in ammo cans labeled with her daddy's neat draftsman's hand printed on strips of masking tape: CONSECRATED IRON. SILVER -- PURE. SILVER -- ALLOY. COPPER -- STANDARD. her mom's correspondence book of every hunter they've ever known, the names and numbers and home addresses of people who sat at the campbell's dining room table and bled with them and died for them all throughout mary's entire childhood.

most of the clothes in the closet get donated, but mary keeps the box of baby clothes her mama had kept tucked up high on a shelf in their bedroom closet, in case she someday has a little girl with john's dark hair and the winchester name. she keeps the memory box with her first lock of hair and the jar of her baby teeth and the tattered scrap of her crib blankie. she keeps her dad's letterman sweater and her mama's canvas jacket with the padded shoulder where a rifle's meant to rest. she wants her daddy's wristwatch, but it goes into the pyre with the rest of his effects. their wedding rings, her mother's engagement band, all of it; mary watches it all burn down to smoldering cinders with her parents' shrouded corpses.

mary keeps what she has to -- her knives (one for every birthday since she turned ten), and a few handguns. john knows she and her parents were big into "target shooting", so it's not implausible she'd keep a couple. but most of it goes to her family downstate, redistributed amongst the campbell clan. she keeps the slim leather-bound volume printed in 1932 with detailed runic symbols and protective sigils, the sort her mama used to draw with magic marker on the underside of the insoles every time mary got a new pair of shoes. (she misses her mama when she does the same thing to the tiny shoes she puts on the baby boy mary named after her.)

she misses her daddy, who never gets to walk her down the aisle. he's not there to give her grief about "that goddamn nightgown of a hippie wedding dress; jesus, mare, you gettin' hitched today or you just roll outta bed?" or do his best to scare john shitless "as is a father in law's prerogative, damnit!" but then make sure his tie's on straight, 'cause john hasn't got a dad to do it for him.

she misses her mama worst when she's pregnant -- the first time with her little angel, her baby boy with ten perfect fingers and ten perfect toes and two-thirds of his grandmama's name on his birth cert. and almost worse with sam -- john stayin' nights on a cot in the back room of that damned garage and herself to blame for it (he shouldn't'a said that, but she shouldn't've drawn her pistol on him like that, either; not with dean in the next room, sprawled out on his belly on the rug in front of the tv), eight months pregnant and huge as hell, dragging the garbage cans to the curb at five o'clock in the morning with dean on her hip 'cause he'll scream if he's set down even for a minute, and her housecoat coming open at the front and mary wants to sit down in the new-mown grass and weep, she's so goddamned tired, she wants her mama, she wants her daddy, she wants to go back and change her mind and have them flanking her on either side at john winchester's funeral. she wants her mama to brush back her hair and give her a kiss on the forehead and tell her everything's gonna be alright, and she wants her daddy to admit that john was a decent boy even if he was a civilian, and she wants to trade all of them -- her husband and her son and the baby rolling like a hoopsnake inside her -- for her family back.

(she'll feel different in a few hours. after she and dean have gotten a little more shut-eye, and she's made breakfast that caters to the demands of a bacon-obsessed toddler but doesn't also make her wanna hurl, maybe they'll go see john. see if she can't win john's forgiveness with the guileless screams of delight her sweet boy will no doubt give his daddy, and a few kicks from baby to the hand john will inevitably rest on her belly. but for the moment she thinks, oh, god; I should've let him die.)

[forestdeath1]

Lily and James — the alchemical Queen and King. Lily is the main symbol of the entire saga.

In Harry Potter, there are two levels - the mundane and the symbolic. On the mundane level, Lily is a character with her own strengths and weaknesses. On the symbolic level, Lily is the main symbol of the entire saga. Perhaps that's why there's so little talk about her because symbolically Lily is what everyone strives for, everyone searches for but cannot find. Harry learns more about Lily only before the final battle, and there's a reason for that.

It's no secret that HP books are heavily laden with alchemical and Christian symbolism. I'm not religious, and to me, all these symbols are just cultural codes that have had a significant influence on almost all classic literature and art.

Philipp Otto Runge, Chagall, Goethe — they're all alchemical codes

Firstly, alchemy is not about literally turning lead into gold, it's a path of spiritual development, a path of transformation, a "hero's journey," the journey of the Son returning to the Father. Alchemical transformation is described in the text "The Chymical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz." This is the third manifesto of the Rosicrucian Brotherhood.

So, lilies are a very ancient symbol.

According to Jewish legends, the lily grew in Eden just at the time of Eve's temptation by the devil and could be defiled by him, but even amid temptation, it remained as pure as it was, and no dirty hand dared to touch it. In early medieval depictions, Christ was placed against a backdrop of lilies or in the lily flower, seen as a symbol of the Virgin Mary. The orange lily often symbolizes the blood of Christ.

Symbolically, Lily is the love of God, a divine spark, and the blood of Christ itself, which was shed in the name of redemption and salvation to atone for the sins of all humanity. And what is the blood of Christ? In Christian tradition, the blood of Jesus Christ is a symbol of the life-giving and saving spirit of God.

By the way, lilies and roses were often confused in translations, and symbolically they are the same. Many suspected that the Rosicrucians' rose is a stylized version of the Egyptian and Indian flowering lotus, and the lotus has often been considered a water lily (they are different, but symbolically they merged). But calling the main character Rose would be too dull and obvious a reference.

Lily - symbolically, she is both the mother of Christ and the Spirit of God herself, the bearer of divine love, to which all seekers are drawn. This is not the only meaning, but for now, it's enough.

God is love, says John the Apostle. (Remus John Lupin, hehe. It was absolutely unnecessary to know his middle name. It's intentionally inserted because each of the marauders, except Sirius, by name signifies one of the disciples closest to Christ. Sirius is a separate story, he signifies something completely different.)

And who is drawn? Well, primarily we see two - James and Snape.

One of the most important things we learn about James is that he's a deer. The deer is a well-known symbol. In myths and folk beliefs, the deer was associated with the soul's aspiration to heaven and purification.

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God" Ps. 42: 1

In the Alexandrian "Physiologus," there's an ancient enmity between the stag and the serpent. The serpent hides from the foe in the clefts of the earth, but the stag, with the help of water, draws out the serpent and defeats it. (Water has always been a symbol of the serpent, even in Slytherin's element water, but the stag fights the serpent not with ordinary water but with the water of baptism. The snake has another important meaning for alchemy, but more on that later.)

Snape belongs to the Serpent, to secret knowledge, occult knowledge, "philosophical" reason, dark magic, which has always been contrary to the divine nature in Christian understanding and originated from the devil. James belongs to the Lion and the Deer.

The Lion is a typical alchemical symbol. Also, the Red Lion is Christ. Gryffindor embodies the soul's aspiration towards light and transformation, towards salvation. By the way, St. Godric (the hermit) also had his own pet deer, which he saved.

The deer seeks love, the spirit of God, the divine spark, God Himself, and in this persistent pursuit is shown James's path, as a seeker and as an alchemist. The Potters — if not alchemists themselves, then at least from the lineage of alchemists — the Peverells (The symbol of the Deathly Hallows is an alchemical-masonic symbol). And this means that the Potters are at least seekers; in their souls, there is a desire to find the divine and undergo transformation. The Potters have a strong hatred for the 'serpentine essence' of evil, and this is what needs to be transformed. (By the way, the graveyard is located near St. Jerome's Church. Besides translating the Bible into Latin, Jerome also healed and tamed a lion).

Masonic-alchemical symbol. Symbol of the philosopher's stone. Symbol of the Deathly Hallows. Solve et coagula is a principle of alchemy meaning "dissolve and coagulate".

An alchemist is a gardener, and this is another interesting reference to James and Lily. The way James tries to find an approach to Lily is an alchemical process. The alchemist tends to the Garden. In Vrisvik's Great Work (the Magnum Opus), it appears as the Garden of the Wise. The Gates to the Garden of the Wise for the Chosen become the process of dissolving "our Substance." James manages to approach Lily only when he dissolves his Ego. The Ego is the main enemy on the path to transformation.

The tradition of "hermetic gardening," that is, "cultivating the flowers of Wisdom in one's garden," becomes a leading line in alchemical symbolism. James cultivates wisdom.

While Snape cultivates "dark knowledge," although his soul also strives for light and love. But Snape is still too captured by his Ego, too captivated by base emotions, a thirst for revenge, recognition, or power, a craving for "secret knowledge." He cannot resist it, no matter how much he may strive for Lily, for the divine transformation of his spirit, and James, still dwelling in his Ego, instead of showing mercy to Snape, pushes him further away. The stag fights the serpent, but God is love. Ultimately, Snape temporarily closes off the paths of alchemical transformation for himself.

The Rebis is the end product of the alchemical magnum opus or great work. The lion must dissolve the serpent. Hermetic gardening. The alchemical wedding: the Queen and the King.

But besides all this, the deer is also a symbol of eternal renewal and victory over death ("The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death" 1 Corinthians 15:26 ). A symbol of Christ. His constantly renewing antlers represent eternal life.

In the original Greek of the New Testament, the names Jacob and James are variants of the same root—Yaaqob. James is an active force, a seeker, an investigator, a supplanter. James the Great was of a rather impulsive character, but everyone was also amazed by his courage, he was the only one who acknowledged Christ as the Messiah. And he is the only apostle whose death is described in the New Testament. He dies at the hands of King Herod, a cynical and evil king who was willing to murder babies for his purpose. James also dies at the hands of Voldemort, who is willing to kill a baby for his purpose.

Moreover, it was Saint James who was considered the heavenly patron of alchemists. His tomb was located in Santiago de Compostela, which was the oldest center of adepts. It was there, in 1378, after twenty years of unsuccessful attempts to decipher the Book of Hieroglyphic Figures, that Nicolas Flamel, the most famous alchemist of the Middle Ages, went. By the way, Shell Cottage... the scallop shell is a symbol of the apostle James and the "trademark" of the Way of St. James. Shell Cottage is also alchemical. It is there that Harry sees the symbol of the Deathly Hallows around Lovegood's neck.

James is a seeker. Lily is a symbol of the divine spirit, sparks, transformation. That to which all must ultimately come, that which must change in our world in the image of God. But for now, our world is seized by evil, by the antichrist. To defeat death means to defeat the antichrist in one's soul.

James finds Lily. The Soul finds the Spirit. The Spirit descends into the Soul. The King and Queen marry—and a new life is born, another hero capable of defeating the evil that has engulfed the world, capable of cleansing the world of evil. The connection between Harry and Christ is no secret to anyone.

The power of love conquers death. A rune appears on Harry's forehead—Sowilo rune—the victory rune, the sun rune, the irreversible rune. It symbolically serves as the key to the world of Alfheim—the world of the light elves, that is, the bright ideas, the prototypes of the buddhial plane, the ideality in this world.

The key to God. Harry becomes marked. His scar is a reminder to him that he came into this world not just by chance, but to destroy evil. And coming into this world, materializing, a person invariably receives a particle of the antichrist within himself. That's how this world works. Evil is in the soul of each of us, and through the Great Work, a person must purify himself.

And none can live while the other survives, because they mutually exclude each other by their very nature. Christ and antichrist.

But Harry has a difficult path ahead, the path of the Great Work before he can achieve victory. And that will be the theme of all 7 books, 7 years — exactly 7 days is the duration of The Chymical Wedding of Christian Rosenkreutz for the transformation oh his soul, for victory over death.

[touratoura]

TV Show idea: A Christian woman named Juliet moves into a new neighborhood, hoping to find a husband and have a child. After moving into her new home, she goes to meet her next-door neighbors - and is horrified to find out it’s a loud, party-girl, dirty mouthed black lesbian named Maggie Dalene and her smart, CEO girlfriend Mary (played by Laverne Cox). Juliet does everything she can to try and turn them to Christ. She does it both forward and subtle. While she does this, she also meets and falls in love with a man named Paul, and starts visiting the local orphanage to bring the kids there to faith.

The main plot points of the first season:

Juliet’s (failed) attempts to convert Mary and Maggie. They keep running into each other. Maggie goes the opposite way and tries to get Juliet to relax a little. Juliet is especially concerned when Christmas comes around and they bring out the Menorah.

Juliet meets three triplets at the orphanage named Jesus, Emmy, and Susej. Susej is the only girl. Juliet tries to get the three Jewish kids to convert, but they refuse. She also tries to get Emmy to go by his full name, Emmanuel - but he finds it stupid.

Lucifer and Abbadon (Lucy and Abby) are a gay gender-unconforming couple who have extremely random jobs everywhere. They seem to be working everywhere. Cashiers, fake-Gucci boot sellers, librarians, janitors, shelf restockers, anything. They’re there. No one else mentions it. It drives Juliet insane. She finds the idea of them being feminine men disturbing, but she can’t call them anything but Lucy and Abby as she refuses to say the Devil’s name. She also finds Abby being black disturbing.

It’s often hinted at that Susej is the Antichrist. And by hinted at I mean she’s always staring piercingly into empty space, whispering threateningly, and is always there when things go wrong. Also her eyes occasionally go black and she starts floating and speaking ancient curses. Juliet is terrified. No one else notices.

Jesus is friends with a group of 12 boys from the orphanage, named Peter, James, John, Andrew, Phillip, Judas I, Matthew, Thomas, James A, Bart, Judas T, and Simon. Jesus goes by Jeezy-boi. The others go by Peezy, Jazzy, Jozzy, Azzy, Pheezy, Jewzy, Meezy, Teezy, Jameezy, Beezy, Yeezy, and Seezy. They’re all played by 12-year-olds, except Yeezy, who’s played by a Kanye West-lookalike. It’s never remarked upon. He talks like Kanye.

Juliet tries to get Mary to turn to God. She will often compare her to her “namesake”, Mary of Jesus fame, to show her the “right side”. Mary takes none of it and points out that Mary and Jesus were Jewish. Mary is very no-nonsense when it comes to these things. Mary is heavily implied to actually BE Mother Mary as she knows things the church doesn’t.

Paul keeps accidentally calling Juliet Jennifer. She doesn’t notice. He’s often drunk and rude to waiters and retail workers. Juliet is too, mind you. He hides his phone and yells a lot. He complains about Juliet’s decision to “wait until marriage”, but doesn’t mind her being anti birth control.

At the end of season 1, Juliet gets married to Paul. He barely gets the vows right at the wedding. Mary and Maggie go out for an unknown trip. There’s a time skip of a few months. Maggie and Mary are celebrating outside of their house, because Maggie just won a Noble Prize in Chemistry. Maggie is yelling “I won! I won!” Juliet smiles and says, “No. I won.” She’s holding a baby in her arms. Maggie paused for a moment and responds “No baby, I won. Paul’s gonna leave yo ass in 3 seconds. You gon have to raise that baby alone. And who says we ain’t got kids?”

Jesus skates by on a skateboard with a cowboy hat. He tips his hat to them as he passed. Emmy is running behind him in a pink skirt. Juliet places her baby down momentarily to talk with them, as Susej comes up and starts whispering to the baby. It nods, and she smiles, before disappearing in a cloud of black smoke. She reappears behind Mary. End of Season 1.

This isn’t a prompt but I would gladly accept criticism and more ideas. And characters. I’m open.

[devilmen-collector]

Origin of the names of the angels

Since I have done a post on the origin of the names of the seven kingdoms of Hell, may as well do the origin of the names of the angels.

Warning, this post contains religious content. If you are not comfortable, please ignore this.

Now let's go on with our trivia post

Seraphim

Now I just want to make a distinction. The Seraphim irl are called "the Archangels", but that doesn't mean they belong to the rank of archangel, the second-to-lowest rank, it only means they are the leaders and chieftains of all the angels, including other Seraphim.

Also, Michael, Gabriel and Raphael are the only named angels in the Bible.

Michael

"Michael" means "Who is like unto God?" in Hebrew. In the Bible, Michael is described as "the great prince, who standeth for the children of thy people" (Daniel 12:1), the angel who disputed with the devil over the remains of Moses (Epistle of St. Jude verse 9), the leader of the heavenly army fighting against the dragon (Revelation 12:7).

In the Christian tradition, Michael is the leader of God's army fighting against Satan, helper of the faithful Christians at the moment of death, champion of God's people, protector of the Jews under of the Old Testament, and of God's Holy Church. He is also the patron of many chivalric order of knights.

Michael, having led the battle against Lucifer, is the greatest of all angels, no angel could surpass him in honor and glory.

The feast day of St. Michael in Western Christianity is held on September 29, commemorating the dedication of first church built in his honor in Western Europe. In Eastern Christianity, St. Michael and all angels have their commom feast day on the 8th of November.

Gabriel

"Gabriel" means "strength of God". In the Bible, he appears as the messenger of God who delivers messages of utmost importance: he tells the Prophet Daniel two prophecies concerning the successive empires and the time elapsing before the coming of Christ (Daniel chapter 8 & 9), he appears before Zachary and foretells that his son will be the Precursor of the Lord (Luke 1:5-25), and most importantly Gabriel announces to the Virgin Mary the Incarnation of the God the Son and that she is going to become the Mother of God (Luke 1:26-38). According to tradition, Gabriel was also the angel who appeared in St. Joseph's dream (Matthew 1:18-25; 2: 13-23), and also the angel who consoled Jesus (Luke 22:43). Thus, Gabriel is the Archangel of Incarnation and Consolation.

Some traditions have Gabriel as the angel of mercy while Michael is the angel of justice. Some others have it vice versa.

St. Gabriel's feast day, according to an old tradition, is on the 24th of March, the day before the feast of Annunciation.

Raphael

"Raphael" means "God has healed". The third Archangel appears only in the book of Tobit, in which he helps the young Tobias during his journey, ultimately aiding the young man heal his father's blindness and helping him find a good spouse. Therefore, Raphael is invoked as the angel of Healing and the Patron of finding a good partner for marriage.

Raphael was also the angel who revealed that there are seven Archangels. "For I am the angel Raphael, one of the seven, who stand before the Lord" (Tobit 12:15).

The feast day of St. Raphael, in old tradition, is on the 24th of October.

Cherubim

Selaphiel, Jegudiel and Barachiel

Selaphiel, Jegudiel and Barachiel aren't found in Sacred Scripture, but only in the tradition of Eastern Orthodox Church.

For these three angels, I have already made a post about it. I'll link it here for you guys.

Selaphiel, Jegudiel and Barachiel: Origin of the names

Zadkiel

Zadkiel does not appear in the Bible, although some identify him as the unnamed Angel of the Lord who prevents Abraham from sacrificing his son during the time that God tested Abraham (Genesis 22:1-18). It's the reason why if a church (usually an Anglican church) does depict Zadkiel in its iconography, he's depicted as holding a dagger, for Abraham intended to use a dagger to sacrifice his son.

We will skip over Thrones (or Ophanim), Dominions, Virtues and Powers because there is currently no angel of those choirs in-game yet.

Principalities

Michelleel

"Michelleel" is a name that PrettyBusy completely made up themselves. No angel is known with the name Micheleel. Micheleel is the combination of Michael written in another way "Michelle" and the suffix "el", which means "God".

Archangels

Rashiel, Armisael and Zeruel

Just like with Michelleel, these three Archangels have made up names by PrettyBusy.

Angels

Samael

"Samael" means "Venom/Poison of God". He exists only in Judaism's Talmudic lore. Sometimes he is considered a fallen angel, with some people think he's Satan, while other times he is considered the angel with destructive duties.

[darthstitch]

Professor Mysterious and Professor Wet Cat

This is my take on that Dreamling post making the rounds about Hob and Dream being uni professors and that Hob is surprisingly NOT the prof who overshares and Dream is the one who inadvertently does.

Buckle up, kids, let's have some fun with this. Also, gentle reminder: NOBODY TELL NEIL. SHHHH!

This time around, Hob's using his proper name, Robert Gadling, because it's been a while since he's trotted that one out and he kinda likes the seeming rightness that the once upon a time near-illiterate medieval peasant that he'd been was now teaching at a rather prestigious university. However, he's not prone to sharing much about his personal life to his students. He's still warm and friendly, but he's cautious about letting Certain Things slip.

Hilariously, the things that do slip end up making him everyone's favorite university cryptid. Sometimes Hob slips into Middle English when he's stressed or emotional. Sometimes he might use odd old-fashioned sounding oaths like "God's wounds," "Holy Jesu," and "Mother Mary's teats" (this last one sends everyone into spasms of laughter).

The literature department ADORES him because they can always drag Professor Gadling off to read Chaucer in its original form or even medieval French, his pronunciation perfect and dead on. Shakespeare is the only thing he'll flat out refuse to read because in any universe this Fuzzy Blue Alien's gonna write, his hatred of the Bard is the stuff of legend.

The students universally agree that Professor G is basically British Indiana Jones, because he's also known to have lethal expertise in medieval weapons. There's been more than a few fantasies inspired during the booked-solid outdoor demonstrations where he works in tandem with the other medieval history professors to show everyone how medieval weapons worked. Apparently, his favorite weapons are the longbow, the bastard sword and daggers.

Obviously, this all leads to Professor Gadling being the campus crush and his relationship status is a matter of hot speculation even if he's made it perfectly clear he was not about to violate his ethical standards or position as a teacher. It still doesn't stop the fevered fantasies of more than a few grad students, though. But that's all they're gonna get.

And then, there's the new literature teacher, Professor T. Murphy.

To everyone's disappointment, Professor Murphy is only going to be at the university for a limited series of lectures. Word of mouth spread fast, and his classes were now booked solid and he was going to be asked to return, once his apparently very busy schedule is cleared.

7. Of course, he's an instant campus crush, with the "Goth angel" looks, the Edward Cullen jokes are definitely flying and there's more than a few students melting after they heard him speak. "That Voice" is always referred to in capital letters and it's well deserved.

8. "Campus crush" turns to "Official Precious Blorbo" once the students all discover that behind the whole regal and imperious Goth Prince vibe that he gave off, was an adorkable darling wet cat who was just completely gone on "my beloved." If he's discussing a love sonnet or poem, there's definitely going to be a reference to "my beloved" or "my dearest" or "my love." It's never sickeningly cloying and the sweet tiny little smile that takes over his normally serious face is like sunshine. The kilig feels are real.

9. He's also forever worrying that he's not enough for "my dearest" as he's rather painfully aware "of my lack in human graces" - which everyone translates to "OMG HELP I HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS OF A SCRUNKLY WET CAT." He frets that he's somehow failing his beloved, who is infinitely sweet and thoughtful and caring and that Professor Murphy is the selfish one, really, who doesn't deserve the man.

10. The students, of course, immediately ADOPT him. Tesco ice cream runs are done, YouTube videos on cooking and invites to kitchens are extended so Professor Murphy could practice making something that is "not a catastrophic culinary disaster unfit for human consumption." There was a session on the language of flowers, which everyone had enjoyed. For a while, flowers with significant meanings were presented to sweethearts and lovers all over the uni. There's an unforgettable after-class meeting in which the craft-inclined students teach Professor Murphy how to knit and crochet and he was really rather proud of the scarf he had created.

11. Professor Murphy's raven had been rather entertained playing with the yarn scraps. The students learn that the raven's name is Matthew.

12. And then, dashing, mysterious Professor Gadling finally peeks into Professor Murphy's class.

"The things I do for you, myne owne hertis rote. Bloody Shaxberd."

"But you do read him so very well, my love." And there it was, that tiny, soft, sweet smile, now aimed in Professor Gadling's direction.

Professor Gadling sighs and puts a hand over his chest. There's a very familiar scarf draped over his neck. "God's wounds, dove, warn your poor, long-suffering husband before you do these things."

"What 'things,' dearest?"

Professor Gadling waves his arms helplessly. The scarf slips a little, offering a tantalizing view of a purplish mark on his throat. "That thing!" He looks appealingly at the students, who are now all stifling their delighted giggles. "Look at him! My heart can only take so much!"

And that was how everyone found out that Professors Gadling and Murphy were actually happily married.

Incidentally, the Shakespeare reading, in which both professors took part, was a true kilig apocalypse. Instant campus legend.