#(not proofed because instant gratification)

[theoreticaltranstherian]

Jumping on the bandwagon woo-hoo

no spam reblog or spam comment ;P

For every 100 reblogs I'll drink another bottle of water

Update: Ive drank almost 2 whole water bottles in the last 3 days which isn't much proportionally but for one, I'd probably not even drink one if it wasn't for the internet critters in my phone telling me to and also, yk, thats alot of water compared to my last few weeks getting all my fluids from food

10 reblogs: Go to bed before midnight tonight

50 reblogs: I'll make my bed in the mornings for a week

Update: I found out that my bed being made kinda stresses me out for some reason, it's just so neat I get scared, and so instead I am putting away 3 pieces of clothing that have been clean for months and i just haven't touched every morning :D

75 reblogs: I'll work on getting accommodations for my autism at school

Update: I don't have the required "proof of diagnosis" and I'd have to wait 2 years or so to get it and I won't be in school anymore at that point, so I'm working with my counselors to see what they can do aside from official autism accommodations

125 reblogs: I'll work in upping my failing grade in math

Update: Math test retake on the 12tg, wish me luck!

150 reblogs: I'll work on my dopamine addiction and get help

Update: Hooooooly shit addictions are hard. I'm going to start a timer for time between uses of YouTube shorts or Instagram reels in an effort to reduce my need for instant gratification and try to replace every time I pick my phone up with drawing or reading or talking to people around me.

200 reblogs: I'll post my art that I've been self conscious about posting

Update: I am really happy for this, it's finally an excuse for me to make myself post my art :D it's probably gonna be 1-2 drawings per post with a little background with each :3

300k reblogs: I'll start cleaning up my room

400k reblogs: I'll clean out my bag (God pls don't get to 400 yall T T)

500: I'll get sharp objects out of my room

1k reblogs: I'll be really happy :0

Edit; Added more goals

2k reblogs: I'll start streaming on twitch again!!!

3k reblogs: I'll empty out my drafts

5k: I come out as trans to my parents (I don't know if they're transphobic so to speak, but they are of the mindset that "do whatever you want once you're out of our house but until then you are our kid" but I wanna be like um no actually-)

5.5k: I come out as trans to my non-transphobic grandma

6k: I come out as trans to my transphobic grandma

Edit 2; Yo same picture of the earth reblogged me?!? the picverse found this?!?! that's insane xd

Edit 4; I added some coming out goals because I'm not gonna do it if I don't have the pressure from hundreds of little things in my phone cheering me on xd

Pinging moots so there's at least a small chance of any of these happening xd

@calimewzz @annotated-catastrophe @glitched-out-dusk @life-is-okay-rn

[justalia]

fall in love with the new state

this one is for the peeps manifesting a relationship (especially with an ex).

“forever in love with ideals, it is the ideal state that captures the mind.”

- neville goddard

these words are truly amazing because they capture what it means to fall in love with your new state.

the only way to actually let the old state die completely is to fall in love with your new state.

you may think: duh? i want it so bad ofc i am in love with it.

but wanting it deeply and actually falling in love with your new reality are two very different things.

why are you flip flopping between states?

why are you letting the 3d affect you so bad?

why are you molding your state to your 3D?

why are you letting physical limitations come into your own wonderful imagination?

there is something keeping you from completely letting go of the old state.

there is something that’s fulfilling you from this old state. what is it?

assuming you are manifesting a text instead of the full relationship that you want. is it the instant gratification you are getting?

assuming you are okay with not having a relationship even if you want it, you still consider the possibility of not having it. is it being comfortable in it?

assuming you are scared of fully trusting imagination. is it the fact that you know what to expect now and you have learned to feel okay with feeling shitty? is it the fact that you see manifestation as a chore and it’s tiring to try?

what exactly is it that’s keeping you from fully accepting your new state?

neville talks about having a secret love affair with our old state. you may have a love-hate relationship with your current state, you are getting something from it and you are fulfilling yourself with it.

personal experience:

all of this happened BEFORE i had a deep and true understanding of the law.

backstory: me and my now gf were a situationship before actually being in a relationship, it was a toxic situation cause i had commitment issues and a whole bunch of other problems but i don’t want to go into details. we were basically together but without a label and we were both “keeping our options open” without really pursuing other people.

we had a falling out due to me not feeling enough even if she has always been very sweet to me and has always treated me like a queen. i had severe jealousy issues and when she was telling me she was simply studying with one of her uni friends i was assuming she (the friend) would find my sp attractive (cause she’s smoking hot) and try to hit on her. i was going crazy over this shit even when i had no actual reason to because even if we weren’t officially together she was showing me loyalty and needing it from me, and i thought we were heading towards an actual relationship (spoiler: i thought/hoped we were heading there but i was still in the state of being in a situationship).

this being said i had severe jealousy issues, i’m not even kidding. i’ve always been a very passionate person and territorial and i started to embody the version of me that found that side of me to be fun and quirky until it became an actual problem because i was feeling physically sick from jealousy.

she would tell me she was on facetime with this friend to study together and i internally i would go feral, i felt sick to my stomach to the point i couldn’t keep my food down.

mind you i had NO FACTUAL PROOF OF ANYTHING. i was assuming this friend would find her attractive and have a crush on her and i felt deeply threatened in my position (which tbh wasn’t very stable because again we weren’t officially together in theory, but in practice we were).

long story short the day of reaping my harvest comes and my sp tells me that this friend has a big fat crush on her.

i started going crazy inside, she knew i was insanely jealous and was reassuring me telling me that she absolutely did not feel the same for her friend and that she was going to tell her.

that’s what happened, she did tell the friend she was not interested but i still didn’t let go of my assumption of feeling threatened, i felt it was going to end for some reason, i expected it and i felt sick because i was truly in love with her.

every moment she was not texting me i felt awful, i wanted to believe she wanted to be with me and i constantly asked for reassurance from her which she gave by saying she had eyes only for me but i did not believe it.

i felt it, it was going to end.

what happened? we ended our relationship for other reasons that i don’t want to go into but basically she started acting cold towards me “out of nowhere” (💀) and i ended it before she could end it because i expected it to happen anyway.

i continued to persist in my assumption that this girl wanted to be with her and i “naturally” assumed that now that i was out of the picture they would end up together.

guess what happened?

they ended up together 💀

this took a bit longer to materialize simply bc i was under the assumption she wanted me but i wasn’t enough for commitment and continued to assume they would end up together. they were together in my imagination, i felt insanely threatened and i accepted it as fact.

well, it did happened.

the day of reaping my harvest came and i found through social media they were hanging out romantically.

i don’t need to tell you that i felt absolutely devastated.

during all of this i was testing the law and studying it but i wasn’t internalizing it fully and this is why i ended up being the mistress of my ex. 😭💀

THIS SHIT IS COMICAL

i made mistakes during my early days of applying the law, i did the whole affirm the 3p away shit and ended up with my sp obsessed with me but not leaving the 3p.

yes, i consciously manifested my sp cheating on her former partner. at first it was a mistake because i was deeply satisfied with the fact that I KNEW she wanted me and i just KNEW there was nobody better than me and i thought that was enough to manifest her coming back to me because that’s all that took me when i manifested her back in the past without wanting a relationship.

i was keeping the circumstance alive in my own imagination by trusting the fact that she hated the 3p and wanted me and that manifested perfectly in the form of her cheating on 3p.

all of my efforts to try and change my sp instead of selecting my ideal state resulted in several “mistakes” which led me to manifesting more of what i didn’t want: being a side chick.

now i ask you not to judge me because i am human like you and i genuinely made a mistake but i was so incredibly attached to the instant gratification i got from being in the state of her wanting me that i kept on consciously being there because it fed my ego.

i was getting somewhat what i wanted, i was being pursued because she was all over me but she was still in a relationship and i was the side chick.

i had a secret love affair with this state because it provided me instant gratification from the 3D and i could not let go of it for the longest time because i was still trying to manifest commitment from her, i was looking for the perfect emotion, the perfect feeling that implied commitment, still acknowledging my manifestation to be real only if it was physical and taking the 3D as fact.

one day i felt miserable, not chosen nor loved and got no movement, the other i felt it (me and her together) to be true, persisted, got movement but still expected the 3p to be there by saying in my mind “what if the 3p is still there?” whenever i got “positive movement” because i truly had not sat with the idea that imagination is the only reality and still believed the 3D and the 4D to be separate, this led to more manifestation of the state i didn’t want to experience.

• first mistake

i wanted a relationship, i wanted love now but i hadn’t moved states at all, i didn’t realize that i returned back to the state where me and her where in a situationship and her wanting me was satisfying enough (or so i thought).

i was manifesting “her back”, i was bringing my awareness back to a former state (us in a situationship) and i was being that version of myself.

• second mistake

i had a secret love affair with the state i didn’t want to experience because it gave me instant gratification, i wasn’t accepting the relationship to be a fact in imagination and i was flip flopping between states and the 3D was simply showing me that.

i kept on unconsciously going back to that state because since “i couldn’t manifest commitment” at least i knew that in this reality she wants me no matter what and says that i’m unforgettable and irreplaceable.

i was accepting that as fact while gaslighting myself into thinking i was in the state of being in a relationship, i was sabotaging myself, i was anxious and stressed all the time, i reacted to what the 3D was showing me but i was truly miserable.

STILL i didn’t let go of it because instant gratification was greater to me in that moment than a relationship because i had not fallen in love with the new state.

forever in love with ideals, it’s the ideal state that captures the mind.

i told you my experience because it’s the perfect example of why you may not be able to fully let go of your old state, why you can’t accept your new state as true in imagination and why your imagination may be still infected with the old state.

the ideal state is far better than any instant gratification you may be getting from your current situation. the ideal state is better than any comfort you may find in your old state.

the ideal is better than anything because it is ideal.

it’s perfect. it’s everything you’ve ever wanted.

you are not changing your sp’s behaviors!!

if they have treated you poorly, if they broke up with you, if you don’t know them well but believe rumors about them to be true, if you have assumptions about them and can’t imagine a state where that specific person is acting in the way your ideal partner would, STOP immediately in your tracks.

you are not changing anybody, you are choosing to experience the perfect situation, your heaven within you is limitless. you can imagine your ideal partner’s attributes and give them to your sp.

let’s say you have assumptions about them, for whatever reason you believe they are too prideful to reach out, they are not affectionate and would never do what your dream partner does, they are not the relationship type or for some reason you believe them to be extremely forgetful and have other priorities.

you are not changing ANYBODY!

you are choosing to experience the perfect ideal situation in your imagination. why would you put on yourself limits based on what you heard?

you want your sp to be extremely affectionate and always bring you flowers but then you go “oh but that’s so not them.. they would never do that”.

why would you limit what you can experience in imagination?

okay, who cares if they are not affectionate? who cares if that’s not in their character?

those are your assumptions!!!

if imagination is limitless and you can experience WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT why would you limit yourself?

i’m not gonna dive too much into the topic of free will because my friend @stateswscarlet made an amazing thread on twitter touching on this and she talked about that whether or not free will is a thing you should give zero fucks because you are never changing anybody.

let me repeat.

YOU ARE NEVER EVER EVER CHANGING ANYBODY.

in a way yes, there is no free will but if to manifest something you’re never changing anybody but only imagination why would you even consider bringing up the concept of free will?

you think your sp can choose not to want you?

IMAGINATION IS THE ONLY REALITY.

you think your sp can realize you’re manifesting them?

IMAGINATION IS THE ONLY REALITY.

you think your sp can meet someone else?

IMAGINATION IS THE ONLY REALITY.

you think your sp won’t change?

IMAGINATION IS THE ONLY REALITY.

if you just said you have the relationship in imagination why the fuck would you even think:

“what if they reject me?”

“what if they meet someone else while i’m manifesting them?”

“what if they don’t wanna be with me?”

IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM WHY WOULD YOU THINK THIS?????

the only reason why these questions even pop up in your mind is because you are still identifying with the version of yourself who is manifestING them, the version of you who is trying, instead of identifying with having it in imagination and being content with that.

stop making it complicated.

all you need to do is imagine being it, realizing you literally cannot deny it exists in imagination because you can see it and trust imagination to put roads in deserts and bring you to your materialized desire.

be it NOW!

[femconstellation]

https://www.tumblr.com/femconstellation/766094901879488512/oh-sucking-cock-is-dehumanizing-now-is-it-but?source=share

"Oh, sucking cock is “dehumanizing” now, is it? But I thought we were allowed to love men, give them kissies and nuzzles and cock suckies! If you really thought sucking cock was feminist, why would you think being called a cocksucker was an insult? We never said anything about you not being human, hmm... maybe, even cocksuckers like you know EXACTLY what kind of acts dehumanizes you? Is that you admitting that you know the truth deep down? And yet, still you suck away! :)"

Writing an elaborate ask about cocks is kinda cock-obsessed, why do you think about cocks so much, secretly a cock lover? Imagine typing "cock suckies" if you didn't love cock, couldn't be me. If you didn't like cock you wouldn't think about it

See how insane it is to make all these leaps in judgment and not use my brain because insulting people who want to be treated with respect gives me instant gratification? Cocksucker is dehumanizing because you take a full ass woman and dwindle down her personhood by defining her whole existence and worthiness of respect by singular sex act she may or may not even perform, because how dare she be SSA!

You hate women who aren't you, plain and simple, despise them, in fact. This whole insane, ridiculous ask is clear proof of that. And hated of any women for simply having sex with/being attracted to the "wrong" kind of person is anti-feminist. Sure, women partnering with men is not a feminist act and never will be, but neither is your hatred and othering of those women

You can dislike the act of het-partnering without hating the women who partake in it for simply wanting to love and be loved romantically. Het-partnered and OSA women in general have and will always be a part of the feminist movement. We have been here from the beginning, in fact, and we'll be here until the end. Your dislike of this fact is your own problem to cope with, not ours

THIS!!

And to any ‘radfem’ reading this that likes to call OSA women ‘cocksuckers’, you are not fighting the patriarchy. You are actively helping the patriarchy. You can criticize heterosexuality without bashing a woman and calling her misogynistic vitriol.

I am a lesbian. And even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t date men. And I might not personally feel very happy about a woman being with a male, but I find it abhorrent to throw abusive comments towards her for it. Just be normal!

[fishgir12]

Oomf i am watching s2ep4 rnand i think i may have come up with an idea to make zoey in this episode explainable because It feels so weird for her to say all that and then never really apologize for it .😭😭

I came up wth this one minute ago im not sure its gonna work but i stay baller

maybe zoeys been in an experiance before like logan where for a moment the world cares then the next they dont anymore. maybe they went through that kinda with miya or something so when logan gets upset zoey gets harsh bc uh. um. Because logan shouldnt have expected instant fame in the first place (theyre still wrong for this) and Its like. That protectiveness that a parent can have like when. Something hurts their child and the child is upset and the parent gets upset that their child is hurt but because there is no other thing to take the anger out on They yell at the child for letting themselves get hurt(IDK If this makes sense. But yesss this happens my mom is proof 🔥🔥)

Im gonna have to try and figure out when zoey can make this up and apologize butt i kinda have an idea on how Logan can get a bit of gratification... im having an idea with Doey rn I will go into it further soon....

i can see the reasoning with Zoey! I think my biggest problem is that Zoey’s apology makes no sense 😭

like the issue wasn’t Logan putting aside her own musical interests to make something that everyone would like the main problem was Logan feeling cast aside that people forgot about her all of a sudden and Zoey put her down even more with basically saying “yeah your music sucks” and then trying to apologize by saying “your music would suck less if you were true to yourself” when that was never the main issue

If the episode was written with Logan showing interests in other types of music but then putting them aside to make sure that she’s making music everyone would like and Zoey sees this and is like “yeah dude this isn’t it, trust me I know” and THEN apologizes with the whole staying true to yourself thing then I would’ve appreciated it more and it would’ve made sense but idk!

[hummusandcoriander]

I saw the extremely negative reaction to today's episode so wasn't expecting much but I actually quite enjoyed it. I didn't see it as the end of the storyline and proof that Robert isn't coming back. I don't see the show bringing all this up for no reason. Despite claiming it was nothing to do with him, Aaron still looked very invested. Also, it makes sense if Robert is making a surprise return for him to have lost touch with Vic because if she was in touch with him she would know if he was being released and it then wouldn't be a surprise. I still think there's lots more to come with all this.

Hi thanks for the ask,

We seem to be on the same page, I watched it this morning, enjoyed it and was feeling fairly positive my main complaint from the episode was that I think Halloween episodes should always include night scenes (probably budget constraint related which I get)

I think it was noteable that Aaron was wounded by Ross' dig about Robert not mentioning him. I also really appreciated the small moment between Aaron and Vic when he was clearly touched by her saying she and Aaron could have helped raise Seb together.

Then I came on here and felt like I was walking into a wake. I'm just... when did soap operas become about instant gratification? It's like "if you don't give me exactly what I want right now then you are incompetent!" 🤦🏻‍♀️

I don't know that Robert is coming home, I think it's a strong possibility but I don't know, I know that if he is coming back then setting it up without showing too much of their hand is a fine balancing act.

If he isn't then there is another story being told and I'll just need to deal with it.

[fangs-claws-paws]

Silken Cell

1, 2, 7, and 15

From this ask game

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

A couple different things inspired me to write this fic. Frustration at the lack of mpreg content regarding specific content I liked, such as armor/gear with an emphasis on helmets as at the time all I could find was supernatural or teen wolf mpreg fics, and I only read them because I would just replace the characters with characters I thought of while I was reading them out of sheer desperation. Also I was frustrated how the male character who got mpregged would suddenly act like a stereotype of pregnant women, and that bothered me because I felt/still feel that being pregnant doesn't automatically make you act like that. Also one fic I read really peeved me, in that the first chapter was the standard rape/non-con and I didn't mind, but the second chapter really wanted us to feel bad that the victim didn't want the attention of the rapist afterwards. It was just so odd and really rubbed me the wrong way that I started making up A Silken Cell in my head as my own bizarre train of thought regarding what I liked in a fic that focused on rape. One other factor that contributed to me posting it was my then boyfriend happened to share the same mpreg kink as me, so I'd end up sexting him random blurbs of either canon characters I wanted mpregged, or an extremely rough version of A Silken cell. He encouraged me to start writing A Silken Cell and helped proof-read some of the early chapters. Unfortunately most of those blurbs no longer exist both because he changed phone numbers and I changed phones so any texts have been lost, and the rest were posted in the text chat for Teamspeak that no longer exists.

2: What scene did you first put down?

Honestly the first scene I wrote was in fact chapter 1. Writing stuff out of order never really works for me tbh, it just gives my brain instant gratification and then it never wants to work on the rest of it. I have a couple fics stuck as disjointed pieces cuz of trying that method. Now technically the first scene that I ever made in my head was an alternate path for Baldarich that I didn't go with in the end. In that Baldarich was a Blood Angel instead of a Dark Angel, and while he was also killed by Ansovald instead of being for aborting his children it was because the Blood Angel kept having miscarriages. I didn't go with this both because Blood Angels have the Black Rage, which I feel is a recipe for disaster in the harem, and I liked a more resistant harem member to contrast with the submission of Caedmon and Azad.

7: Where did the title come from?

The title I came up with just based on what I felt described Caedmon's situation with enough brevity to sound interesting, he is trapped in what amounts to an extremely fancy prison cell. It was only a couple weeks after posting it and googling the title that I realized there was a song that went by the same name, and while it certainly fits the vibe of the fic, that's mostly coincidental

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

Honestly one of the biggest things I've learned is my brain can hold onto the story for a shockingly long amount of time without ever touching it. As I recalled what I wanted to do after my 2-3 year hiatus as clearly as when I had just put it down. Which is extremely funny as - fun fact - there is no written outline or planning sheets for this fic, all the information is stored in my brain and nowhere else. So if I were to somehow lose my memory, there would be no information as to the direction I had planned the fic to go in. Might come back to bite me in the ass, but we'll see.

[hyperbolicgrinch]

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis

🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time? 

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Im sorry there's so many. I'm just a simp for my author wifey, and you can ask me anything forever 💖

ASKS FROM BANG?!! I'M ON TOP OF THE WORLD

Don't apologise, I adore you for it. Thank you, 🥜, for taking the time to send me anything. ☺️

(huhuhuhu permission granted, let's go 👁️👄👁️💖)

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

Hmm. If it's like punctuation (and grammar too, I guess), I'd say it's like 4 (1 being the best thing ever sgsggdj) cause 85% of the time I know exactly what to to with that and love fixing little low stake slip-ups that have laid out rules I can follow and don't really need to overthink about.

Editing, like going through and punching everything up a notch or cleaning up flow is hmm, still pretty high. Like a 5. Cause even though it can be daunting and painstaking, I love that I actually have words on a page to play around with. I think it let's the ideas and scenes reach a closer version to the ones I had in my head. It's a lot of work and can drive one crazy but getting things to sing or spark is so satisfying ngl. 😌

Editing when you have to overhaul and rewrite large parts and fix one big problem but maybe make ten more is a quick and easy way to go insane but I still think it's not that bad. Like a 6 or 7. Cause, once again, I've already got words to fuck around and find out with and I'd take that over a blank page any day.

Proof reading editing can be really fun because spotting inconsistencies and lining them all up so they match makes brain go brrrrr so like a 5 or 6. Especially because at that point I know I'm so close to the finish line and the pay off is right there if I just get my shit together. 😂

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis

fuck it, more than 5 be upon ye: 🥣🚩🫀🧵🧲😤💋🦋🏴‍☠️

🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time?

Fatigue. 😅 Depression. 😅 Imposter syndrome. 😅 The stars not feeling like they've aligned correctly. 😮‍💨 The pressure to write a scene how it is in my head. 😩 The "what's the point?" poison to my whimsy and motivation. 🙄 The amount of time that's passed since I started writing the thing. 😭 The constant desire for instant gratification. 😐 The everyday horrors. 😵‍💫 My pedantic ass. 😮‍💨 Me forever renting real estate in the procrastination CBD. 🙄 I love to shoot myself in foot and just stare at a wall thinking about writing but not doing it. So just about everything under the sun, really. 🤪

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

I don't know if this is what the question meant sfsghfhjjj but arghh I want a modern au that's so specific and catered to my exact tastes and based on the rambles my sister and I have had hsjjajjsk but there's also like this canon divergent ??? fix it??? au??? manifesting?? idea I have been thinking about non-stop since it got inside my brain but that I'm worried to to do in case it gets my hopes up for canon but basically I want two characters (and their crews) (but also these other two random characters that are not related to the first idea or each other bwhhah but I have thoughts for too and need them to come back exactly how I am envisioning because it would honestly be the Best Thing to Happen Since Sliced Bread ppfft hshajjajahsh) to somehow find each other again and team back up and take no shit to get revenge and then maybe kiss a little bit in front of the 1️⃣☮️ or something agshshsjaka after a dramatic entrance and while they hold some huge threat off so Luffy can get the ultimate boss fight done hdhsjskjshdj (Oda I'm so fr like if you need a rest or wanna hand their arc off so you can focus on bigger things, I'm right here cracking my metaphorical knuckles, I'll do it for you so fast, I have Ideas, put me in coach you won't regret ittt🙂👉👈) but it would be like so much work to make a plot that even made sense for it because I would have to do so much reaching and hand waving unless I got real serious about it and even then I would have to make so much up because there is no word of Goda or known timeline yet or events to use for its structure. 😅😂

But just anyone. Anyone that isn't me should write it (like Oda if you've got a moment...I mean, you've already done most of it,, might as well keep going, man) 😂 Maybe they even have... I haven't had a chance to look. 😅

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Any and all comments spark joy and make me hehehehe and teeheeteehee and kick my feet and then I put them in my "reasons to keep writing" folder so I can go back and look at them when I'm feeling like a fraud or giving up on the thing. I wish I could be more specific but I really do cherish when people take the time to just leave anything. If they say what they liked or quote something they loved, that's even better, but merely a kind-hearted bonus. ☺️

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Hhrrmmm. If the vibe check just ain't passing for whatever reason or the tone and character is off to an unforgivable degree. 😌 Maybe it's in character for them and the version of that character they have in their heads, but if it ain't clicking for me, it ain't clicking, and I can't push through it. 😩 I think this is a very common one but yeah, character makes or breaks a fic. Cause it's the whole point, at the end of the day, ya know? 😅

[crmsnmth]

Target Audience

My target audience are the broken and the battered souls Patch-work fixes and fried egg brains Because I am my target audience

I know just what it is that gets them off.

My target audience dabbles in the dark or violence the undeserved suffering and the quiet despair We're found rummaging around in someone's stored memories Short term gratification to know someone might feel the same.

Admit it, that idea hits the right notes.

My target audience sleeps in shadows and nightmares The graceful night terrors, and the bitterness of sleep We are children of the damaged and the cycle continues Maybe we should have put the load in delicate

I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.

My target audience likes the strange and the macarbe Finding beauty in death and ugliness in life We're bound to end up somewhere, just keep it straight I swear to god I'll turn this car around this instant

Please excuse the damage.

My target audience speaks in cuts and cues Razorblade to get that reptile split giong on We have ways of making you talk but we won't listen Please don't make me explain myself again

You have no proof that I'm actually a real person

[shesgabrielle]

What makes an artist? (Clue: not this)

So I saw this yesterday, and now bouncing around my mind is how revealing those fake 'notes' are as to the psychology of fake ai scammers.

For context a guy entered an ai piece into a book cover contest, and then supplied his psd file as 'proof' it was original art and not ai generated, but was outed immediately by artists who dug through the psd and noticed things like layer names being in the format of discord username_midjourney_prompt,

subsequently, searching for his discord username, (midjourney generations happen on public and private discord servers, public generations are merely a keyword search away) only to find hundreds of generated assets matching the elements seen in the ai art piece.

Above: hundreds of generated assets, and the character seen in his final piece, in his discord midjourney generations.

But let's look at these 'notes.'

This is a fake 'sketch' layer where he painted over the ai generated piece to try and reverse engineer a sketch, a common effort by ai scammers which always looks super obvious to artists since generally a sketch is not just a more messily painted version of the final with no dimensional or structural changes whatsoever (why the concept of a progressively changing sketch is alien to these guys will be addressed momentarily)

To the side of the fake sketch, he scribbled 'download brush for hair?' Well first off if you can paint a human figure in any amount of detail you do not need to download a brush to synthesise hair, but I think this was simply word association hair + brush. Then we have a note below it, 'download smoke elements' with smoke crossed out like a 7 year old writing an essay, and replaced with 'grunge.' Needless to say, artists don't usually think in these terms of specifically of downloading elements needed, maybe searching for refs, that idea of downloading alone is very ai art thief behaviour, but to dig into the behaviour behind the faux note with 'smoke' crossed out a little more. So any person writing a digital note in an image file can simply use the eraser tool to erase an incorrectly written note, and rewrite it. He either is unaware of the eraser tool (like top 3 basic tools even microsoft paint has) or, (possibly both) it shows something in his thought patterns. When making a 'mistake,' even a fake one, he crosses out the mistake instead of trying to fix it. This is part of the root of why these people will never make art, because their base psychology is simply 'no mistakes, get it right the first time' which is precisely why the mcdonalds instant generated art is so appealing and addictive to them. And I'm sure they tried to draw once, did not instantly produce a masterpiece, and threw their pencils away in disgust at the 'blessed' 'talented' artists who they presume, have the same lack of dedication and passion as them and would not create unless it was for the same instantaneous gratification and approval they desire. They say as much themselves whenever they defend ai.

The reality: Art is not the art of making, it's the art of fixing. It's the art of adjusting something hundreds or thousands of times until it is what you want it to be. Unless you are fascinated by the process of adjusting and fixing, you will never make art of any kind. And a final note, that shitty 'palette' on the side makes no sense since, yet again, top 3 art tools in microsoft paint includes the colour dropper, so if you want to reuse a particular colour you simply use the colour dropper. This man is not even familiar with the most basic art program settings yet wants to larp as a digital artist, to the point of trying to gain acclaim by winning art contests. He has obviously vanished offline as soon as all this was revealed, I hope many more ai 'artists' are shamed off the internet in a similar way.

[lebihanto-universe-blog]

Be Irresistible, Click Here Long distance relationships also known as LDR's is when two people are dating from across a distance. This can be continents ... It's popular relieved that long-distance relationships never work out But sometimes absence does make the heart grow fonder and people learn to take their partners less for granted when they're not always around It's also worth noting that some couples far away from each other feel closer than couples who live with each other Because they're more willing to communicate their problems with one another. It all boils down to one word: Effort. Here's six tips on maintaining long-distance relationships 1. Give them a personal gift to hold on to. Before the two of you depart give each other something you can hold on to and remember one another by A few examples you may be inspired by include exchanging nightlights, stuffed animals, jewelry, hoodies or mugs What you decide to give your partner doesn't have to be big or expensive Instead focus on how the object has served to bring meaning into your life. 2. Set routines and learn about each other's schedules. Time zones can be tricky, but learn to appreciate the differences. This can teach you the value of patience and remind you that relationships don't thrive or grow from moments of instant gratification Once you and your partner gets settled in and adjust to your new lifestyles, let each other know about your schedules and routines Depending on how much of a difference your time zone is You may need to take turns accommodating to each other's availability to set up Skype dates or phone calls It may sound daunting But once the two of you figure out a rhythm that works for the both of you the rest will set sail. 3. Build trust and try not to jump to conclusions or assume the worst. Life can be unpredictable. So sometimes things come up such as family emergencies, working overtime or illness that may interrupt your usual communication patterns rather than worrying about whether your partner is cheating on you or if they've grown bored of the relationship and may be spending more time with their friends know that there's no actual proof or evidence to back up those anxious thoughts. Build trust with your partner and ask each other how you're feeling, rather than bottling up insecurity and making the walls bigger Getting answers directly from your partner is better than over analyzing and filling in those gaps yourself. 4. It's not about how often you talk to each other, instead, focus on quality communication. Consistent communication is important when the two of you are apart from each other, especially when the physical aspect of the relationship is absent But too much of it can also backfire and leave the two of you feeling smothered or burnt out rather than texting each other every hour of the day, find balance and moderation and focus on the quality of your conversations instead of how frequently the two of you talk You may come to find that the more you talk to each other the more you end up talking about the same things in circles Rather than delving into a meaningful conversation that makes you appreciate each other's intellect ideas and perspectives. 5. Make time to see each other, but know that every visit may not be ideal, and that's ok. When you visit each other you may want to make the best out of your time together and plan to do exciting things But we're all human so allow room for flexibility instead of perfection There may be times when you're exhausted from traveling back and forth and just want to stay in and watch a movie with your partner Or perhaps there's a delay in your flight that may bleed into your dinner reservations Doing fun activities and bonding with your partner is important but sometimes it's good to just play things by ear and go with the flow Remember it's about the company you're with and not necessarily what the two of you do 6. Embrace the challenges together. Long distance relationships are

difficult, but don't let the challenges tear you apart Instead embrace them together Sometimes your insecurities may get the best of you Consequently, you may believe the two of you would be better off breaking up and meeting new people Take a step back and think about why you held on for so long in the first place Whether the two of you are apart because you're going to different schools or because of a job promotion know that the long distance is only temporary and that you're working on yourselves before the two of you can be together again It's a common misconception to think that in order for relationships to work One person has to sacrifice their needs and desires for the other In reality, this is how relationships often break apart when people feel stifled and can't grow together Never lose sight of the big picture and don't give up! Have you ever been or are currently in a long-distance relationship? Do you have some tips on how to deal with one? Feel for to share your thoughts in the comments below If you like this video be sure to check out our website and other social media as well as our patreon account for more content And don't forget to subscribe. Thanks for watching! ...

[neoflorilegia]

i think a lot of what writers say makes writing hard has to do with the more technical aspects than the act of writing itself. like the more hung up you are on word choice and sentence structure in your first draft the more likely you are to burn out and lose the joy of the project. it's like, of course your work should have a basic shape as a guide but trying to make that shape fit rigid boxes and meet the expectations of a nonexistent audience is like begging for writer's block. i say this because this is a lesson i have to relearn over and over and over again. that my initial drafts will not and should not read well because it's just like.... the part of sculpting a bust where you can tell it's going to be someone's head but it still kinda just looks like a lump of clay. once you think about rewriting and editing as carving out the finer details to fully realize the bust it makes the process feel more like a creative process and less like an obstacle course

i also think the frustration with wanting to sound perfect on the first try is a really natural frustration to have as a creative in the digital age because everyone's work seems so effortless now. but i think a large reason why popular books lately have gotten criticized for things as big as being plotless and as small as having terrible grammar are proof that effort and patience are part of what defines writing as an art. it's an art form that forces you to slow down, forces you to swallow the need for instant praise and gratification

.... i'm on a lot of cold medicine right now so there's a non-zero chance of me rereading this tomorrow and thinking it's like.... writing on the wall of a truck stop bathroom fksjflskjflsjfljkd

[thepitofjob]

Job 28: 20-28. "The Stomps."

Wisdom according to the sages in the East comes from the mind, but in Judaism it comes from the chest. All control of the mind is found in the chest. My friends in the Ashram would say avoid that place, but Jewish people tell us to think with our hearts.

These are examples of what are called rumors, which are not objective proof God exists or solid advice as to how to follow Him. Christians peddle rumors like lawn sprinklers, stating you should believe what they believe because they say so no matter how weird their words are. They take it on faith as their parents and friends do. Faith is based on rumors. Where God and the Torah are concerned, rumors will not do. The truth must be heard:

20 Where then does wisdom come from?     Where does understanding dwell? 21 It is hidden from the eyes of every living thing,     concealed even from the birds in the sky. 22 Destruction[b] and Death say,     “Only a rumor of it has reached our ears.” 23 God understands the way to it     and he alone knows where it dwells, 24 for he views the ends of the earth     and sees everything under the heavens. 25 When he established the force of the wind     and measured out the waters, 26 when he made a decree for the rain     and a path for the thunderstorm, 27 then he looked at wisdom and appraised it;     he confirmed it and tested it. 28 ‎And he said to the human race,     “The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom,     and to shun evil is understanding.”

The Zohar calls proof of God's existence and the workability of His Torah "the force of the wind." God told Moses His observations allowed Him to conclude man was suffering. He told Moses what to do. The obvious conclusion to the process God gave Moses is man should not suffer. But suffering is everywhere so it is obvious man has not done what God has said. The wind is blowing.

The Values in Gematria are:

v. 20-21: Where does wisdom come from? It is hidden from the birds of the sky. Angels operate what are called publishing companies. Birds operate news media services, like Fox News and the Jehovah's Witlesses. Who controls the news controls the world. Irresponsible reporting has destroyed this place. It has made gun violence negligable, climate change disappear without a single bit of effective cleanup, it has caused millions to turn out to vote for men who give babies intravenous methamphetamine and fuck their kids a skid free runway towards the White House.

The Number is 10612, קוב‎, "a cove". A cove is a hidden place ships bearing cargo can moor in order to make deliveries and resupply. One enters a cove and tells no one where one has been, indeed one cannot. The cove might as well not even exist. This is because the experience of the Shule is wordless. If one covers and enters the Shule in order to sail out, when one sails back into the cove properly, one will learn why one cannot use words or rely on faith to understand the meaning of life one earth.

v. 22-23: Destruction and death are just rumors. No, they are not. They are real, and one of them one day is going to end your life. The greatest wisdom takes nothing for granted about either. This is why we say "Now. Now now now now now...!"

The Number is 11146, יאא‎דו‎, ye'ado, ‎"come on." = "stand up for substance."

v. 24-25: He views the ends and measures the waters. A wise man does not add attachments which lead to bondage. These he eventually learns to see coming at him and he steps out of the way. Now is reality, not how fast one suffers desires. Instant gratification is the worst form of bondage there is.

To be free of instant gratification one needs to enter the Shule and experience the Holy Ghost.

The Number is 10132, biag, "a wind sent by the aggelos."

"The adjective βιαιος (biaios), meaning violent. This adjective is used in Acts 2:2 only, where it describes the sound the Holy Spirit made upon being poured out. This is rather remarkable, and perhaps even unexpected, as Elijah had met YHWH so typically in the sound of a gentle blowing (1 Kings 19:12)."

v. 26-27: He made a decree, he confirmed and tested it. The bullshitters quoth the Bible all the time and take things and stuff on faith but the world is once again involved in a war, one they started. There is no evidence of faith in the Decrees in the actions or hearts of these sorry sows.

Now comes the Storm.

Wherever you are, whoever you are, however things have been, rise up and defeat the Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses and their fiendish families or you shall one day realize you gave your life away to persons who have no respect or knowledge for the utter meaning of it and you will be so very angry about it.

The Number is 5499, הדטט‎, "the date."

Pick a day, any day and then do it.

There must be peace on earth and freedom and prosperity for all, this is what God has said and it must be done.

v. 28: And he said to the human race , “The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.” We know who and where the evil is and like me, the rest of the world is sick of you.

The Number is 4698, דוטח‎ ‎, "Stomps."

Stomping is performed at Jewish weddings. The Stomp symbolizes how fragile life is and how short, and why matrimony between persons must not be taken lightly. This includes matrimony between man and nature, man and other men, men and God and divorce from the assholes.

We are not required to suffer marriage to persons who want to take away our freedoms and happinesses. Should they try, they should pay for it with their lives.

[onlinelotterysyndicates]

The Psychology of Lottery: Why We Play

Lotteries have captivated human imagination for centuries, promising a chance to transform ordinary lives into extraordinary ones with a single lucky ticket. Despite the low odds of winning, millions of people across the globe regularly participate in lottery games. The allure of the lottery is deeply rooted in human psychology, driven by various cognitive biases, emotional responses, and social factors. This article explores the psychological reasons behind why we play the lottery.

The Thrill of Hope

One of the primary psychological drivers of lottery participation is the thrill of hope. Buying a lottery ticket provides a temporary escape from reality, filling players with a sense of excitement and anticipation. The period between purchasing the ticket and the draw allows individuals to fantasize about winning and imagine how their lives would change. This hope, even if fleeting, is a powerful motivator, offering a brief respite from everyday struggles and an opportunity to dream.

The Illusion of Control

Many people play the lottery because of the illusion of control, a cognitive bias that leads individuals to believe they can influence random outcomes. By choosing their numbers or following specific rituals, players feel a sense of agency over the game. This belief in control can make the lottery more appealing, as it gives players a false sense of empowerment and increases their confidence in winning, despite the statistical odds.

The Gambler’s Fallacy

The gambler’s fallacy is another cognitive bias that influences lottery play. This fallacy involves the mistaken belief that past events affect the likelihood of future outcomes in random processes. For example, players might think that if a certain number hasn’t been drawn in a while, it is “due” to appear soon. This erroneous thinking can lead individuals to continue playing the lottery in the hope that their persistence will eventually pay off.

The Impact of Social Proof

Social proof, the psychological phenomenon where people follow the actions of others, also plays a significant role in lottery participation. When individuals see friends, family, or community members buying lottery tickets, they are more likely to do the same. High-profile lottery wins and media coverage of jackpot winners reinforce this behavior, creating a sense of collective excitement and making the lottery seem like a socially acceptable and even desirable activity.

The Desire for Instant Gratification

In today’s fast-paced world, the desire for instant gratification is stronger than ever. The lottery caters to this need by offering the possibility of immediate wealth with minimal effort. The quick purchase of a ticket and the rapid drawing process provide an immediate thrill, making the lottery an attractive option for those seeking instant rewards. This desire for quick satisfaction can overshadow the logical understanding of the low odds of winning.

Escaping Financial Worries

For many people, the lottery represents a potential solution to financial difficulties. The prospect of a significant cash windfall can be especially appealing to those struggling with debt, low income, or economic instability. The lottery offers a glimmer of hope for a better future, providing an emotional escape from financial worries. This hope can be a powerful motivator, driving individuals to spend money on lottery tickets despite their financial constraints.

The Role of Advertising

Lottery advertising plays a crucial role in shaping perceptions and encouraging participation. Marketing campaigns often emphasize the excitement, potential rewards, and the “dream” of winning big. These advertisements are designed to evoke strong emotional responses, making the lottery seem like a gateway to a better life. By tapping into desires and aspirations, advertising effectively increases the appeal of lottery games.

The Appeal of Low-Cost Entertainment

For some, the lottery serves as a form of low-cost entertainment. The price of a ticket is relatively small compared to other forms of gambling or entertainment, making it accessible to a wide range of people. The excitement of the draw, the anticipation, and the communal aspect of discussing numbers and potential winnings with others all contribute to the lottery’s appeal as an inexpensive way to have fun.

Conclusion

The psychology of lottery play is complex, driven by a combination of hope, cognitive biases, social influences, and emotional needs. Understanding these psychological factors helps explain why millions of people continue to buy lottery tickets despite the long odds of winning. The lottery taps into fundamental aspects of human nature, offering an escape, a sense of control, and the dream of a better life. While the lottery is ultimately a game of chance, its powerful psychological appeal ensures its enduring popularity.

[celebration88]

Good morning. The fact you both messaged me today. That's a win in itself.

The people in my inner circle of friends are only siblings to my boyfriends and my best friend Bang at this point, so Hannah your welcome to message me too.

The fact you know that I have superiority over everyone else here when I am in my power. The fact that no matter what anyone else thinks about this doesn't matter to me but our parents. I love them Hannah. I claim them but I need help to get there. Thanks for the one month subscription to Amazon Prime. I will go buy sibling outfits now. This is fun. Actually I didn't do that because I know instant gratification isn't the way. Trusting the process 922 Self-Forgiveness is key to unlocking my heart. So I forgive you. Just give him the damn spare key I sent you a while back Christopher Bang. I would appreciate it. Ephananies Love works in mysterious ways. I believe it now. The fact you told me I would. Is the profound proof we are all interconnected truth in faith and beliefs system. Seeing my friend Taehyung of BTS getting married was a joy. The fact I am so happy and proud of you. Now I need europia with Hyunjin.

BTS made the way. Don't let me ever forget that. The fact I am emotionally alright moved only by those I appreciate. The fact that I can't keep it together without him is something I am legitimately crying about. I need him more than ever. So peace 🕊️ between fandoms because they were the only people I believed in for a long time. Stray kids and BTS.

[designresearch604-ahnesshim]

20 Items + Copywrite

My Korean passport and New Zealand passport. Although I was born in New Zealand, my very first passport was a Korean passport because my mother had the choice of giving me a Korean or New Zealand passport. But because our family was Korean and my roots are also Korean she had chosen to proudly give me a Korean identity. These two contrasting items show the duality of an identity crisis that I feel and experience whilst living in New Zealand as a Kiwi-Korean.

2. Birth Certificate. his is a legal and physical proof of me being born here, a Kiwi-Asian, a Kiwi-Korean. But throughout my life and growing up, experiencing cultural dilemmas, racism and discrimination I was often told to go back to my own country, although I was born here. I've often grown up acknowledging racism instead of standing up to it. I felt foreign although NZ felt like my home and it always was and is. I felt small and scared and "less" than white people and because of the racism I experienced I sometimes wished I was white.

3. Baby anklet (?). It's amazing and interesting to see how small of a baby I was to grow up into a person who can no longer fit into that anklet I once fit into. This is a metaphor for how much I have matured and learned about myself and my own culture as I continue to relearn the culture I was abandoned and ran away from, colonising myself.

4. Wellington Te Papa Souvenir. This encapsulates my very first trip down to Wellington and serves as a momento of the time. When I look back at it now there was much culture to be learnt and take in, and so much that I did not know of. I remember the joy and excitement of going to a new place and exploring a new place out of Auckland with my family.

5.Korean Currency – trip to Korea for the First Time. These coins were coins that I kept as a souvenir from my very first trip to my parents home country, Korea which encompasses the preservation of South Korean currency as a form of cultural and historical significance. I vividly remember my grandma, aunties, uncles and even my parents' friends' gave me pocket money often telling me to buy something yummy for myself with the large sum of money that possibly seemed too much for a snack. This is enriched in Korean culture and to me it's a token of them showing care and love towards me and even my parents and their way of expressing their love and care as it is not common to see people express how they feel verbally in Korean, eastern culture, but they also stand as artefacts of a my journey, capturing moments in time, and embodying the pride and identity.

6. Seoul Sky Magnet – Trip to Korea in 8 Years (after first trip). This was my second trip to Korea in 8 years, after the first one. My older sister and I spent hours and hours exploring the culture-rich Korea as we had so much to learn as we knew so little of our own culture and my parents' home country. The magnet was a souvenir from a landmark called Namsan which is famous and popular for their tower that overlooks the city.

7. HongKong Magnet Souvenir at 15 years olds. This trip was a meaningful and exciting trip as my cousin who I lived with as a small child, young as 5 years old; would be visiting him in many years. I was able to visit Hong kong like a local person who lived there as my cousin took us on a designated tour around the hot spots in the local area and throughout the city.

8. Polaroids. These polaroids I took lie in their ability to transform intangible memories into tangible, touchable keepsakes. Unlike traditional photography, which involves waiting for film to be developed, or digitally taken through our phone, it allows an image to materialize within moments of pressing the shutter button. This instant gratification grants a sense of immediacy and authenticity to the captured moments, preserving it in a form that can be held, shared, and cherished in real-time. The physicality of these polaroid photographs, with its characteristic white border and distinctive color palette, imparts a timeless charm that transcends eras, making it not just a snapshot, but a testament to the magic of instant memory-making.

9. Poststick Notes. These post stick notes are important as they help me to mark important pages within my sketchbooks or even in my diary, so that I can come back to them. I often use the same colour post stick notes for pages that have similar or continuing ideas. This item has now become an essential for me as a designer and within my personal life as well as it marks out important and even current events and pages.

10. 2023 Diary. A personal diary becomes a canvas for expression, allowing me to infuse my unique style and preferences. The diary stands as a tangible object featuring handwritten organization and introspection, providing a haven for dreams, plans, and cherished memories to flourish throughout the year. It serves not only as a practical tool but also as a source of inspiration, reminding me of the transformative potential that comes from purposeful reflection and deliberate planning.

11. Free Food for Millionaires. This novel that holds a special place, "Free Food for Millionaires" by Min Jin Lee is a compelling exploration of ambition and identity as a Korean-American. A young Korean American navigates the complexities of immigrant expectations and personal aspirations. This novel delves into themes of social mobility and cultural adaptation. The title, "Free Food for Millionaires," alludes to the stark contrasts and opportunities that define Casey's journey, highlighting the tension between her heritage and the allure of the American Dream. I found myself relating to the protaganist in the novel as I have also grappled and still am grappling with cultural identity.

12. Clay Trays. Crafted from air dry clay allows for intricate detailing and unique designs. Each tray retains the organic texture and natural colour of the clay but then adds expression and life to the clay with colour and glaze, resulting in a piece that feels intimately connected to me as a person as these trays serve as canvases, adorned with various patterns, textures, and finishes that reflect my individual style.

13. Ephemera made of Plaster. This piece of object was an object I picked out and took in an exhibition "20 Objects". Each object has a story, although unknown to the public, but I picked it out because I thought the form was so beautiful in its irregularity. It almost mimicked the shape of a seashell which was a contributing factor as to why I chose this object to take home.

14. Flower Print. This black and white flower print, received as a gift from a friend, carries a depth of meaning that transcends its visual appeal. The monochromatic representation of flowers exudes a timeless elegance and simplicity. It signifies a shared appreciation for aesthetics and a gesture of friendship that reflects their thoughtfulness and kind heart. Every time I look at this print, it serves as a tangible reminder of the bond between friends and the enduring beauty that can be found in even the simplest of gestures. It becomes an enduring piece of art that not only decorates a space but also warms the heart with the memory of a cherished connection and memory.

15. Felt Tips - Gift from Grandma at 8 Years old. I remember the excitement I felt when I received this gift from my grandma. I was excited to use this in every piece of craft I made. But I found myself only using it for "special occasions", as I wanted these felt tips to last as long as they could and I have achieved that, they still work to this day. Although it was at such a young age, I thought this was a token of my grandma's appreciation of my constant crafting, and drawing as a young child.

16. Muji Mechanical Pencil. As a designer, the mechanical pencil is my steadfast companion in the creative process. This tool allows me to translate my ideas from mind to paper, helping me to quickly visualise ideas before heading into the digital space – a principle I hold dear in my work. The mechanical pencil is not just a tool; it's an extension of my creativity, an instrument through which I shape my visions into tangible forms.

17. Muji Ink Pen. Another analogue object that is important to me is this ink pen. This pen allows me to quickly jot down any ideas, important dates and events to mark in my physical calendar or diary. I appreciate the physical writing more than the digital space, as it embeds in my mind a lot more than it does when I type things in. It also feels more personal to me as it retains my own personal handwriting.

18. Scalpel. The scalpel serves as a crafting knife that epitomises precision, creativity, and the handwork of myself. This took me to shape and sculpt a wide array of materials with exacting detail. It becomes an extension of my vision, allowing for intricate designs and makings. It also enables the transformation of raw materials into objects of design.

19. Rulers. I have a few differing sizes and lengths of these durable rulers which I have found to be very useful as a designer. Working as a designer does not mean always having to work in a digital space, but many of my interests are rooted in physical crafting which was something I have always done from a young age. These rulers help me to draw and cut precise lines and forms to what I envision.

20. Mouse. This mouse is another extension of my hand in the digital space. With precision, I am able to navigate through design software, shaping elements and refining details with a fluidity that mirrors my thought process. The mouse becomes an instrument of finesse, allowing me to execute intricate patterns. It enables me to translate imagination into tangible design.

[endeavvor]

Jim never once had remorse for not exploring deeper into the scientific side of their exploits. Sitting still, looking through microscopes, documentation. He never had the attention span for it - surprising, right? Yet standing in this mystery with his mind reeling full of possibilities. He could see the appeal. In fact, his hands almost itched for some type of instrument to get further reads and instant gratification that was severely lacking with their impromptu find. Could see it reflecting itself in each quirk of Spock's brow as he took in the peculiar surroundings.

It bothered the Vulcan not to have the answers at the tips of his fingers.

But he didn't anticipate that part of the hinderance to logical thinking was his own existence - or in this moment - the circling of his hand around Spock's wrist. The intention had been pure, yet at the subtle insistence of the one word - that shift back from Jim to Captain - it left him second guessing himself. Perhaps he had been too familiar, drawn into a sense of companionship by their earlier outing at the tidepool and the peace he felt.

He drops his hand and clears his throat, stepping back so the hint of red creeping across his cheeks cannot be seen in the dim light the bioluminescence can offer. Jim knows it is more than that, knows this growing ease has to do with a lifetime of memories thrust into his brain that consistently leaves him cursing Prime but has forbidden himself from sharing or even remotely thinking of discussing it with the other.

Maybe he just didn't anticipate it being so one sided.

"Lead the way." He manages after a moment or two more of silently chiding himself and resisting the urge to reach out again and stop Spock's assault on the foliage along the wall. It's not about the grime or deceased branches falling away, but the potential for him to catch himself on something and damage the sensitive flesh of his hands. But it's a moot point, he knows it, so he just trails behind until they come to the door and peaks around the Vulcan's shoulder.

To say it is dark is a vast understatement. It is the same type of dark they tend to forget space is when they are surrounded by a constant state of artificial light from the enterprise. It's the type of dark that nightmares are created from that set Jim's brain on edge until they edge their way forward and the life reacts to them, lighting their way.

"I can't help but feel that it's lighting our way to something, and if there is something that's been locked down here, I hope it has another food source." Or maybe he's been reading too many books lately in his spare time because they haven't entirely seen proof of anything living aside from plant life and carvings on the wall. "I'm just saying, there's still a lot of things left on my to do list that haven't been fulfilled - and being eaten by an ancient mountain creature isn't high up there."

@fasciinating

IF THAT COMMENT WAS DESIGNED TO call attention to Spock’s earlier behavior, he ignores it, bypassing the chide to further inspect the glowing plant. He strides up to stand beneath it, observing from every angle that he possibly can without disturbing it in its natural condition.

He cannot know for certain as to the cause for the plant’s obvious bioluminescence, not without proper instruments. But Kirk’s theory is not without merit.

Up close, Spock tilts his face around it, following the twisted path of its vines toward the ceiling where it vanishes into the dirt. The specimen appears much larger than the flora that can be found just outside, pulsing gently with an energy that he admittedly desires nothing more than to pull apart and churn under the eye of a microscope.

He says as much in the distant trade of his inflection, “ A curious possibility. ”

Because it is easier this way, he resigns inwardly, to focus on the soil or the grass, the plant life — offering him a viable excuse — than to be caught elsewhere, on something or more specifically someone, almost relieved in the sudden allowance of distraction.

He manages to share a look with Kirk that betrays nothing of his thoughts from moments ago. It is blank, gratefully; controlled.

Nothing is amiss.

But the Captain remains entirely capable of shattering that peace with his grip alone.

Spock breathes out, regulating his breathing as he draws onto the wall. It takes effort to concentrate on the engravings there, wrinkling his brow and flexing his fingers. The grooves sing out to him, writing new lines of focus and urging him to temper the flutter of surprise — of warmth — in his chest.

“ These symbols, ” he hears himself say, forcing his eyes along the patterns and his fingertips along the line of a star. It could be a message or a warning, “ They are not a part of the XurXur’s lexicon. ” Something older, something secret; he laments his inability to record them until he remembers the padd.

Calmly, he looks at the ring of Kirk’s hold on him, wrist dropping from the wall and asking to be released, “ Captain. ”

Spock aims his own grasp on the padd, taking pictures. The light too dim to encompass them completely. However, it may be enough to occupy the linguistics team as well as Lieutenant Uhura.

“ There may be more, ” stowing the device under his arm, Spock moves along the wall as Kirk did, tearing down vines and wiping away dust. Several more appear before Spock uncovers a doorway to another path, this one darker at first. Peering inside, shadows dance, reflecting a new and curious light source that will reveal to them an underground oasis in time.

He leaves for it, “ This way, Captain. ”

@endeavvor