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explorevenus · 2 years ago

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piercing porcelain, crimson sap ♡ vampire!steddie x reader (pt. 1)

recommended listening - dracula (nate sees cassie) - labrinth

this part is generally sfw but the bulk of this series will be nsfw (18+) - so minors dni !!!!! or i will call ur mom

word count - 5k

description - in a fantasy world, reader is from a small, remote village. for many years you have been drawn to the mysterious mansion in the woods, the very same mansion you were warned against visiting for so long. you’ve tended to the neglected garden since you were young, growing attached to the strange, abandoned structure, only to one day find out the mansion isn’t as vacant as you’d thought...

tags/warnings - vampire!steddie, dark!steddie, innocent!reader, fem/afab!reader, pet names, no use of (Y/N), stevie is a lil cold at first but he warms up i promise, eddie is v manipulative lol, implied hypnosis, no smut yet but i promise it’s coming, fantasy elements obvi

a/n - ok i know this premise is done to death and like somewhat out of left field for a fucking stranger things fic but HEAR ME OUT. HEAR ME OUT OKAY. i am a SLUT for sexy mysterious vampire boys and i’ll be DAMNED if i don’t turn steve and eddie into sexy mysterious vampire boys at least once before i die. thank u for understanding and if u see this and it flops no u didn’t ♡

taglist - @urlbitchin

my masterlist ♡

part 2 coming soon ! lmk if u want to be added to the taglist :)

fic below the cut, thanks for reading and i hope u enjoy ♡

-venus ♡

Growing up in the woods, you were always taught to avoid the decrepit old mansion that hid away in the shadows of the tall trees, a warning you would heed with great caution as a child, but not so much as you grew into your teenage years.

You were 15 when you first felt the urge to rebel, or rather when you first failed to fight it off. Restricting yourself to only the outside of the property, to make yourself feel better about your choices, if anything, you had set off along the overgrown path that winded northeast and just down the valley, into a remote corner of the wilderness where the decaying building loomed tall, quieting the forest around it.

Based on all the horror stories you'd been told over the years, you expected to find the place teeming with evil spirits, or perhaps grotesque monsters; but, it was silent as could be, utterly vacant by the looks of it, and at first, rather underwhelming. You thought to yourself that maybe that was the point of all those hyperbolic cautionary tales that the elders passed down, to build up this great big image of what evil might be hiding away here, only for the purpose of letting down those expectations later. You were ready to give up and walk home, disappointed by your findings (or lack thereof), when you caught sight of a beautiful jungle of plants out of the corner of your eye-- they were bursting through the gaps in an old iron fence. It was a long forgotten garden, and as luck would have it, plenty of the plants there were invaluable for your alchemical endeavors.

Every now and then you would slip away and return to the garden, mindlessly sifting through the salvageable ingredients, and as the years went on you'd made a habit of tidying up the weeds where you could, too. Your interest in alchemy hadn't fully extended to an interest in gardening, so you weren't the most experienced by any means, but it was amazing what the smallest loving touch could do for a long forgotten place. Not to mention, the ridding of the weeds allowed the more sought after plants to properly flourish. It became your own private place, your own little slice of heaven, untouched by anyone but yourself. You loved the community you'd grown up in, but you felt an immense comfort near that strange mansion.

In your adulthood you only began to spend more time at the property, caring for the precious plants and dreaming that the mansion was yours, dreaming that you were not a village witch thieving ingredients for a living but the mistress of a beautiful household, gardening for pleasure in her overabundance of free time. It wasn't so much the material that you wanted, no, but the freedom-- freedom from the dangers of the woods, freedom from that constant worry of being unable to provide for yourself, for your village. It was nice to fantasize sometimes.

On this particular afternoon, it was overcast when you were readying yourself to leave the village, so you saw it fit to bring an umbrella. The prospect of rain didn't bother you a bit, or change your plans to visit the mansion at all-- it had been too long since the last rainfall, so both yourself and the plants were sorely needing it anyway. You lifted the hood of your soft cloak over your head and stepped outside, flower basket in-hand and toting a leather backpack full of various gardening supplies.

Cutting through the trees to that fading old pathway, little rocks and twigs crunching ambiently beneath your boots, you looked up at the grey sky above to see that it was only continuing to darken on the horizon. Thick black clouds loomed in the distance, swallowing up every last bit of sunlight and visibly unleashing buckets of rain upon the northern end of the mountain range, and they were barreling closer at a rate highly noticeable to the naked eye. You briefly considered turning back, but decided to stick to it anyway, given the worst case scenario was having to walk home drenched.

That old iron fence creaked loudly in greeting as you entered, even louder than usual due to the moisture in the air. You closed it softly behind you and made your way over to the patch of nightshade that you'd been tending to. You propped your umbrella up on the stump of a nearby tree, crouched beneath it, and got to work pulling up weeds as little droplets began to fall around you. The petrichor was delightful and comforting, and the rainfall softened the earth enough to make it just a little easier to uproot things. It didn't take long for you to settle into a comfortable autopilot mode as the droplets became gradually larger, and more plentiful.

Eddie and Steve liked this kind of rain.

Any kind of rain was favored, of course, but today was unmistakably a treat. The clouds were so dense and blackened with excess that no sunlight could hope to shine through. There was much excitement to be had on darkened days such as these, for a creature of the night-- the ability to roam during waking hours provided an entirely new insight into the lives and routines of their prospective cattle, and as a bonus, the moisture in the air tended to strengthen certain scents.

But, in a more wholesome light, it was quite nice to reminisce in the long faded memory of their own mortality, to pretend, if even just for one afternoon, that their hearts may beat with vitality as they once did, that their bodies might once again hunger for fruit or pastries instead of thick red blood. It was a perfect day for a stroll, Eddie thought, and if they were to happen upon something suitable to dine on in the process, well, that's all the better...

Unfortunately, for his own skeptical reasons, Steve didn't seem to agree. He felt that it was too much of a risk to be seen by anyone, that it would blow their cover, and perhaps his paranoia was not entirely unfounded, though Eddie hesitated to give in. Not only had it been a while since the last good rainfall like this, but it had certainly been far too long since they'd found a new plaything, and Eddie was becoming... rather restless. The last few cattle they'd brought in hadn't really wowed him, as they were chosen more out of necessity and convenience than pleasure, and in turn, it took hardly any time at all for him to grow bored with them. Eddie needed something new, something exciting to keep him entertained for much, much longer than that. The weather provided the most enticing opportunity to stalk around, it was a shame that Steve was so adamantly against it. He could really be no fun sometimes.

Eddie was sulking around the mansion while Steve worked away in the upstairs office-- he had taken the additional waking hours as an opportunity to get ahead on his obligations, which was quite characteristically responsible of him, but Eddie couldn't bring himself to sit still, knowing that such a golden opportunity was being wasted. He could only rearrange the liquor cabinet so many times, let alone the furniture-- the exterior of the mansion was to remain untouched, to maintain the illusion of vacancy. With each passing second, the temptation to slip out for a bit to hunt while Steve worked was picking away at him.

Tossing the idea around, just for fun, of course, Eddie approached the nearest window and drew back the heavy red curtains for a peek outside-- just a scan of the property couldn't hurt, right?-- and as his mocha eyes followed along the treeline surrounding the property, he didn't see anything out of the ordinary, but he froze in place as he picked up on an intriguing scent. Curiously, Eddie cracked the old window open, letting in a draft of the cool, fresh air, and just as he'd hoped, it carried with it the sweet smell of living flesh. The stars couldn't have aligned more beautifully-- there was a human nearby.

To avoid alerting Steve, Eddie quickly sealed the window shut once more, slinking away up the stairs for a better view from the windows in the master bedroom. They were bigger than the ones in the hallway, had a much higher vantage point, and more conveniently, faced the single overgrown path that led to and from the property. Truthfully, he hadn't expected to find much-- Eddie didn't really consider himself lucky, and he knew that the powerful scents carried by the humid air could sometimes be deceiving.

Still, just as he'd done before, he drew back the curtains and cracked the window, peering outward, noting that the human's scent was stronger here. It was floral and saccharine, like fresh lavender and juicy peach, laced with ribbons of intoxicating iron. Eddie's lashes fluttered as his eyes slid shut in delight, and he allowed himself a moment to breathe in deeply with an open, slightly watering mouth.

His eyes opened again and immediately caught sight of movement on the ground below. Eddie couldn't believe his eyes at first; crouched beneath an umbrella in the garden was a pretty little witch, muddying her slight hands in the thick weeds with no evident knowledge of the mansion's occupants. She wore a pale pink cloak that matched her boots and her umbrella, the white frills of her dress poofing out from beneath it, pointed elven ears peeking through her hair. Eddie could hardly fathom leaving the girl out in the rain-- after all, she must be freezing...

Eddie briefly considered asking Steve for his opinion, but had a sore feeling that he knew what he would say, and it wasn't likely to be in his favor. Deep down, he knew that it might be a reckless move, but the aroma in the air was all too enticing. With every passing second he was losing grasp of his better judgement. The temptation was far too much, and so it was that he gathered an umbrella of his own, and decided he would rather ask for forgiveness later. His sleek black dress shoes went from tapping elegantly across the hardwood floors to sinking into the wet earth. While he wasn't exactly thrilled that his expensive shoes had been exposed to the elements, he knew that the reward could be well worth it. Conveniently, too, the softness of the ground masked the noise of his movements, allowing him a bit more time to observe the girl in her relaxed state. Eddie approached the little elf slowly, not wanting to frighten her. She was so absorbed in her work that she hadn't even looked up.

In all honesty, the girl's unmoving focus and lowered guard brought a little smirk to Eddie's face. Finally, he asked aloud, "My, sweetheart, aren't you cold?" His voice was so warm and sweet, but somehow chilling, too.

You startled, freezing in place as your eyes raked up the length of his body before you-- he was so tall, with long legs clad in nice black slacks that fit him sinfully well, and contrasted to his pale white skin in a way that gave him a nearly unnatural glow. His alabaster face was framed by wildly curly, dark hair, tucked into a messy low bun behind his neck. You couldn't find the words to speak-- he was certainly stunning, a sight for sore eyes, but you had definitely not expected to see anyone out here, let alone in this weather, and it was even weirder that he was able to sneak up on you.

"Oh, you poor thing, you're shivering..." The mysterious man frowned, crouching to your level, fingertips tracing along the underside of her jaw. Little did you know that he was feeling for your pulse. "Why don't you come inside and warm up, hm? We'll get you out of this rain and into some dry clothes."

Inside...? You were only puzzled further-- as far as you knew, this mansion had been vacant for decades, and it certainly looked the part. The garden was far from the only section of it that had fallen into disrepair. The circumstances of this situation were overtly suspicious, but there was something about him that just made it so hard to say no. The mysterious man was equal parts haunting and alluring, comforting and hazardous. Before you could say anything, he reached forward to wrap an arm around your shoulders and then began to usher you indoors.

Shutting the heavy oak door softly behind you, the man rested a hand on your shoulder from behind. "May I take your umbrella?" He kindly asked.

"T-Thank you," You blushed, shakily handing your umbrella over to the man, suddenly being washed over by a feeling of guilt for dripping water all over the beautiful hardwood flooring. "I-I'm so sorry, I didn't know anyone lived here--"

"Shh, it's quite alright, angel," He soothed, hand sliding from your shoulder to your collarbone as he stepped forward, and twisted around to face you. Every movement he made was so enchanting, so graceful, you nearly tripped over yourself as he was stepping out of his muddy shoes. "I appreciate the company. It's not often we get visitors out here."

You were then given absolutely no time to ponder the implication of the word 'we' as the man asked for your name. Somewhat warily, you gave it to him. He hummed contentedly, testing the name out on his tongue, and he was very much pleased with how it felt.

"How pretty," He mused. "And how sweet of you to take such good care of our garden... it's nice to meet you. I'm Eddie."

You were immediately flustered at the praise, cheeks flushing bright pink as your eyes darted somewhere else, drinking in your surroundings-- perhaps the outside of the mansion was falling apart, but the inside was truly beautiful. Dark, but beautiful. Intricately carved wooden furniture decorated the space, fine paintings adorned the deep blue walls which flickered a warm orange with cozy candlelight, and the ceilings were so high that it made you feel particularly small. It looked almost regal.

Eddie gently reached for your hand, bringing you swiftly back to reality. "Why don't you come upstairs and we'll get you out of those wet clothes, hm?" He asked, but he was already leading the way-- again, there was something unnaturally persuasive about him, and it went far deeper than his unparalleled beauty. You rounded a corner and began to ascend the winding staircase, the fine wood creaking softly beneath your steps.

Clearing your throat nervously, you finally mustered up the courage to speak. "Do you live alone here?"

Eddie shook his head, leading you down a hallway at the top of the staircase. You followed obediently. "I have a roommate, an... old friend, named Steve," Eddie explained over his shoulder. "He's working away in his office, but I hope we see him soon. I would love to introduce you."

Of course, Eddie was well aware that your scent would soon breach the door to Steve's office, that it was only a matter of time until he'd follow it through the house until it led him to the both of you. He knew Steve would be angry with him, but he also knew Steve would have a hard time saying no to such a pretty meal laid out just for him. Eddie was willing to take that risk.

One of two thick oak doors creaked open before you, revealing an immaculate master bedroom. The windows were blocked with heavy black drapes which matched the dark, plush bedding, complimented by the stained wood floor. The walls were painted a deep, navy blue, shrouding the room in darkness save for the soft light of a bedside lamp crafted of Tiffany glass.

"You have a beautiful home," You spoke softly, eyes fixated to the many intricate details of the space that seemed endless, every flick of your eyes uncovering new treasures to be admired-- paintings, trinkets, candles long burnt down and dripping hardened wax down their bases.

Eddie chuckled, gazing at you out of the corner of his eye as he rifled through the closet for something you could wear, though it was hard for him to make a decision. You looked so adorable in your soft colored clothes, even drenched in rain and speckled with earth, and he sadly didn't have anything that matched your gentle appearance.

"Thank you, doll. You're very sweet," He finally replied, and as the words left his lips he noticed your polite manners. You observed your surroundings quietly, hands clasped in front of you as you made the noticed choice not to overstep, not to touch anything without permission, not to look too closely at any one thing.

It came as a surprise to him when he felt his cold heart swell. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt such a way about someone he'd tricked into his home for a quick meal.

He brought his attention back to the closet, giving up on his own side and choosing instead to rummage through Steve's-- yet another decision he might come to regret, but at least Steve was more likely to own something soft and colorful. Almost immediately his eyes landed on a thick yellow sweater that would surely warm you up. Eddie plucked it off of its hanger and turned to hand it to you.

However, you were lost in an oil painting on the wall, wide eyes glassy with wonder as you looked over each brushstroke of a glowing crescent moon over a stream of rushing water. Eddie and Steve had acquired that painting so long ago that Eddie couldn't even remember where it came from or who painted it, but just how mesmerized you were by the piece was art enough for him.

Eddie cleared his throat to gather your attention, holding the sweater out for you. "Here, this should help you warm up," He smiled, careful not to bare his teeth. He didn't want to scare you off now. Only moments ago he simply wanted to bleed you dry, but now he found himself wanting to taste you, savor you, perhaps even keep you.

Oblivious, you took the garment from him with a smile, amazed at how soft it was. You thanked Eddie quietly before turning around to shed yourself of your dress, undoing the thin ribbons that secured it in the back before letting it slip gently down from your shoulders. You stepped out of the soaked piece carefully, thankful to your past self for choosing to wear tights and thin shorts beneath it, and as you pulled the cozy sweater over your head you delighted in the near immediate warmth that came with it. Shortly after, you gathered your dress from the floor and turned to face him.

"Thank you. Is there somewhere I can hang this to dry?" You asked.

Eddie tried to conceal his smirk as he answered you, "Well, I would say you could hang it on the clothesline, but..." He gestured toward the window which was concealed behind the thick drapes, but the sound of fat rain drops pattering against the glass was clear. "You should stay inside until the rain lets up, hm? I'd be happy to light the fireplace for you."

"I don't know... I should probably get back to the village in case the storm gets any worse," You spoke reluctantly, casting your gaze to the floor in disappointment, a move that was not lost on Eddie. "I might need to help cover the crops. I don't know what we'll do for the winter if our harvest is flooded."

Your disappointment communicated a couple of things to him-- one, you truly wanted to stay and spend time with him, and two, it was likely you'd be easy to convince to do just that. Of course he understood your plight, though he hadn't really considered the struggles of everyday, living, breathing people in a long time, but selfishly...

"Well, how many people live in your village, sweetheart?" He asked. You looked up at him, tilting your head quizzically. He chuckled, clarifying, "I don't get out much. I wouldn't know."

You had to think for a second-- you'd never really counted-- and when you landed on an estimate you were comfortable with, you obliged. "I don't know exactly... 45 or 50, maybe?"

Eddie hummed, crossing his arms casually. "That's a lot of hands. I'm sure they'll fare just fine without your help for a few hours, yeah?"

You pondered for a moment, just beginning to part your lips to accept his offer to stay for a while when another voice cut through the air, disapproving and materializing out of nowhere: "Eddie... What do you think you're doing?"

While you startled at the unexpected voice, jumping slightly where you stood, Eddie could only grin, turning slowly around to face the man in the doorway.

Only logical, you surmised this was the 'friend' Eddie had told you about earlier-- he was tall and athletic, square jaw and long lashes with fluffy brown hair that wisped over his face. The top two buttons of his white shirt were undone, revealing a thatch of dark hair over his strong chest. Your mouth dried-- the two of them were strikingly, devilishly handsome, especially together, and suddenly you felt your cheeks heating up with confusion over your own feelings and embarrassment for causing a problem.

Eddie's response cut your internal dialogue short. "Stevie! There you are," He greeted innocently. "Remember how you mentioned the garden looked like it was coming back to life? Well, I found the culprit," He joked, gesturing to you as he introduced you by name. Your face burned even hotter.

"...And you found the culprit wearing my shirt?" Steve asked.

You felt your heart sink into yourself. "I-I'm so sorry, I didn't know-" You stammered, but Eddie raised his palm to quiet you and spoke for you instead.

"Come on, Steve, look at her... Poor thing got soaked in the rain! Besides, doesn't she look adorable in yellow?"

Suddenly you felt hot for a different reason. You looked down to the floor to hide your face-- little did you know they could both hear your heart pounding. Still staring at the floor, you spoke up again, a little louder this time. "Um, I'm sorry for intruding... You can have your shirt back and I'll just go. I didn't mean to cause any problems."

As you looked up to make your way toward the door, you accidentally locked eyes with Eddie. An unexpected wave of calm washed over you, stopping you in your tracks.

"Nonsense, sweetheart," Eddie said. "You're not intruding at all."

Steve gave him a look that missed you completely, a look you wouldn't have been able to read anyway in your trance-like state. You couldn't really manage to speak, let alone interpret the silent communication between two men who were obviously so close with each other that the most subtle physical cues could speak a thousand words.

Eddie put a hand on your shoulder. It was cold.

He smiled at you confidently. "Would you mind giving us the room for a moment, doll?"

Your feet were carrying you to the door before his words even fully sank in. Your gaze lingered on Steve for just a moment as you passed by him on your way out-- he was intently watching you go, arms crossed as he leaned against the door frame. You weren't sure how to feel about that.

Plopping down to sit at the top of the staircase, you tugged at the sleeves of the yellow sweater and wondered what kind of conversation they were having. It was overtly obvious Steve didn't want you there, but Eddie seemed quite sure of his ability to change Steve's mind. Having just met him less than an hour ago, you didn't know him well enough to trust his judgment on that.

A tall grandfather clock ticked rhythmically down the hall, echoing each passing second. You picked idly at your tights just to pass the time, hoping Eddie's offer to light the fireplace for you would still be in the question, should Steve decide you could stay. You could faintly hear the timbre of their voices muted by the thick wooden door, but you couldn't make out what was being said or even discern the emotion behind it. All you could do was sit there, practicing your patience. Part of you wondered if you should just leave the sweater in your place and go, if it weren't for the fact your dress was still in the bedroom and you had no idea where Eddie put your umbrella.

You were too absorbed in your thoughts to notice the hallway had quieted. Apparently you were also too absorbed in your thoughts to notice the sound of the bedroom door opening.

"You do look rather cute in that sweater," A voice startled you from behind. Clutching your chest, you turned to face the source of it, surprised to find Steve. He was noticeably calmer and offering you his hand to help you up. "I might just have to let you keep it."

Shocked, you blushed as you took his hand, rising gently from where you sat. His hand was cold too. "T-Thanks," You stuttered. "I'm sorry if I caused any problems-"

"You didn't," He cut you off with a warm smile. "I promise. The apology is mine-- I'm sorry for coming off the way I did. You didn't do anything wrong."

"There you go, Stevie," Eddie chimed in from the bedroom doorway. You were beginning to sense a pattern that they had a unique ability to sneak up on you. "See? I knew you could play nice."

Steve shook his head, giving you an exasperated look that communicated quite well to you that Eddie was no stranger to successful persuasion such as this. "Let's get that fireplace lit, shall we?"

Guiding you down the stairs by your hand, Eddie trailing close behind, Steve led you to the parlor and encouraged you to make yourself comfortable as he knelt before the fireplace, stacking nearby logs of firewood into the soot-stained enclosure. Eddie was quick to replace Steve's hand with his own, leading you over to the couch. He offered to brew some tea for you, which you eagerly accepted, and as he made his way to the kitchen you found yourself sinking into the soft couch and watching Steve turn the gas valve at the bottom of the fireplace, striking a match to set the lumber alight at last.

Steve sat on the couch to your left, leaned coolly against the arm. The light from the fire cast a flickering orange glow over his handsome features.

He asked you about how you'd found yourself here, what measures you'd taken to revive the garden and what your village was like. He seemed hesitant to tell you much about his own past, other than that he came from a family in the city that he wasn't particularly close with. You let it slide, figuring there was much more to it than that, and you didn't feel comfortable prying.

Soon Eddie returned with a hot cup of tea, cautioning you to be careful of its temperature before he handed it off to you. You hadn't asked what kind it was, but it smelled delightfully earthy and herbal and a little bit minty, sure to chase the chill from your bones. You thanked him with a polite smile as he sat on the couch to your right, cradling the warm porcelain in your hands.

The three of you continued to chat, learning more about each other as you all became comfortable and opened up a bit. You learned that Eddie plays guitar-- he promised to show you sometime. You learned that Steve used to be an incredible athlete. You learned that the two of them met in school, that they hated each other at first, but have since been inseparable for a longer period of time than either of them could recall. You told them about your family, about your aptitude for horticulture. You promised to teach them how to care for their plants.

The conversation came to a comfortable break, the parlor draped in silence other than the pleasant sound of wood crackling in the fireplace. You were a sip or two away from finishing your tea when Steve leaned forward, tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear as he asked, "Do you believe in the supernatural?"

It was an odd question that seemed to come out of nowhere. You nodded slightly. "I mean... yeah. Living in the woods for so long, I know quite well that there are many things on this Earth that nature couldn't possibly explain." You quietly sipped your tea.

"Does it scare you?" Eddie smirked, planting a cool hand on your knee. Suddenly you were feeling nervous under the pressure of their attention. You finished the last of your tea, leaning forward to set your empty mug on the coffee table.

"Not really," You replied, eyes focused on the fire. "Everything in nature requires a balance. Light and dark, hot and cold..."

"Predator and prey?" Eddie added.

You tensed a little bit, nodding. "Sure, that's a great example. It's all Gaia's will."

"Even if you were the prey?" Steve asked.

"Y-Yeah, I mean, of course," You hummed, wishing now that you hadn't finished your tea so fast. You needed something to fidget with. "It's all Gaia's will," You repeated.

Eddie's hand repositioned from your knee to your thigh so smoothly that you almost hadn't noticed. "Hmm... What about pain and pleasure?"

Steve's yellow sweater was beginning to feel rather hot on your body. Your breath hitched in your throat. "Absolutely," You answered innocently, although your voice shook. "It all contributes to a delicate balance."

You weren't stupid. You knew where they were going with this... or at least you thought you did. Oddly enough, as you'd answered just moments before, you weren't scared.

Maybe if you'd really known what you were in for, you would have been.

#stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie x reader #steddie x you #steve harrington x reader #eddie munson x reader #venustext #vampire steddie #vampire steve harrington #vampire eddie munson #sintext

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duvetfawn · 2 months ago

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Chapter III

A/N: Hello people. Sorry for updating so late, I've been a bit busy. I made this chapter longer as an apologise. Thanks for all the likes and reposts, it means a lot <3. (Oh, and in case I made some grammar mistakes, I truly apologise, English isn't my first language.)

PAIRING: Professor!Benedict Cumberbatch x fem!reader

WARNINGS: Some eventual swearing. Nothing in particular.

WORD COUNT: 4.1k

“There’s no way you actually went to see him.” Cassie was drinking her third shot, but not even alcohol was helping her relieve the shock. It’s not like didn’t want you to join, she knew you loved poetry, but at the same time she considered it a suicide. She didn’t want you to cry during nights like she did because of Cumberbatch.

“You’re a graphic student, why on Earth would you want to take some lessons about poetry?!”

Your friend was too drunk to have a civil conversation, but you knew Felix wasn’t approving that either.

“She has a point, Phoebe. You don’t know him.” Your guy friend tilted his head to the side, perfectly convinced you weren’t understanding the situation.

They really cared about you, and since they knew how much of a twat Cumberbatch could be, they simply didn’t want you to make the same exact mistake. That professor was the only one who could make Felix cry over a grade, and he was always careless about school. The man really drove both of your friends crazy. They were just trying to save you, but only God knew how much he intrigued you. It was the danger – that intrigued you, actually. You started to see it as a challenge; you wanted to prove to your friends that getting good grades with Cumberbatch was possible.

“He’s not that bad.” Your friends almost choked on their drinks before quickly putting the glasses down.

“Not that bad?!” they exclaimed in unison, unable to believe what you had just said.

You leaned back in your chair, thinking about the professor. The way he challenged your friends, pushed them to the limit... It wasn’t about being nice; it was about respect. And maybe that’s what you liked about him. It wasn’t something your friends understood. But you didn’t care.

“You guys don’t get it. He doesn’t just hand out grades. He makes you earn them. You don’t know the whole story. Trust me, there’s more to him than just being tough.”

“Like what? He secretly loves kittens?” Cas joked, while glancing at the “attractive” (that’s how she considered him) waiter. She won’t sleep at the flat tonight. – you thought.

“No, but... maybe you’ll find out soon enough.”

You weren’t sure what those words meant, you were sure you were going to get at least an A with him though.

The night had wrapped up, and the pub was slowly emptying out. You watched as your friends chatted, laughing and poking fun at each other, while you stayed mostly quiet, still thinking about the conversation you'd had about Cumberbatch. It wasn't like you to get so defensive, but there was something about the challenge he presented that pulled you in.

Cassie wasn’t the type to back down from a challenge either, though her challenges usually involved something a little more... adventurous. You saw her give a sly glance toward the waiter—tall, dark-haired, with an easy smile. She had always had a way with people, especially when she was in the mood for something more than just a casual conversation.

As the hours passed, the energy in the pub shifted. The music grew louder, the conversations more animated. You couldn’t help but notice her making her move. A few teasing words, a laugh, and suddenly, the waiter was sitting with her, sharing a drink. It didn't take long before they slipped away, disappearing into the night.

You didn’t think much of it at first. Cas was always unpredictable, and you’d learned not to be surprised by anything she did. But as you stood up to leave, you noticed her phone buzzing on the table. She hadn’t come back to grab it.

You grabbed it, sending her a quick text saying you were heading back to the flat. But then you paused, a little hesitant. There was a message from the waiter, something about meeting up later. It was more than casual—it was flirtatious. A smile tugged at your lips despite yourself.

The walk back to the flat was quiet. The city streets were empty now, the late-night crowd thinning out, the cold air biting at your skin. You slipped into the building, climbed the stairs, and unlocked the door to the flat, feeling the familiar warmth of home.

Inside, the silence felt odd. Your roommate wasn’t back yet, and there was a strange stillness in the air. You dropped your keys onto the counter, stripped off your jacket, and made your way into the living room. You tried to distract yourself by scrolling through your phone, but your mind kept wandering back to the night. Cassie and the waiter. What had really happened after they left the pub?

Suddenly, the door creaked open, and she walked in, her face glowing in a way that caught your attention. She looked... different. It wasn’t just the way she carried herself—it was more like she had a secret, something she wasn’t sharing just yet.

“You’re back late.”

“Yeah, I lost track of time.” She tossed her purse onto the couch. Her eyes sparkled with something you couldn’t quite place, but you weren’t sure if you wanted to know. “And you? How was the walk of shame?”

“It was fine.” You gave her a sidelong glance, but she didn’t seem to be paying much attention. She was too busy scanning the room, like she was looking for something—or someone.

You opened your mouth to ask if she was okay, but then stopped yourself. There was no need to ask. You could already see it in the way she moved, the way she kept glancing at her phone, the slight flush in her cheeks.

As you grabbed a glass of water, she finally spoke up, her voice light but with an edge of mischief.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you what happened.”

“Try me.” You leaned back against the counter, crossing your arms, still a little curious but not sure if you wanted to hear the full story.

She looked at you for a second, considering whether or not to say more, before a laugh escaped her lips. “I might have gone home with the waiter. And... It went really well.”

You raised an eyebrow, trying to keep a neutral expression, though a small part of you was surprised by her candour. She didn’t usually share details unless she wanted to.

“Really? How well?”

She gave a mischievous grin. “Well enough that I stayed over.” She stretched her arms above her head, clearly amused with herself. “I think he might be a little smitten. Let’s just say it wasn’t just a one-time thing.”

You didn’t respond right away, just sipping your water. Part of you wanted to be sarcastic, to joke about it, but there was something else—an unspoken understanding between you. You knew her well enough to know when she was being serious, and right now, she seemed to be savouring the moment, letting it sink in.

The mood shifted slightly as you processed what she’d said. You both had your wild nights, but this felt... different. Maybe because you had no idea how to process what she had just done. It wasn’t about judgement, just the realisation that your world was shifting, ever so subtly, and you weren’t sure where it would land.

“So, what now?”

She shrugged nonchalantly. “We’ll see. For now, I’m going to take a shower and figure it out.” She turned away, leaving you alone in the living room, the weight of the night pressing down on you.

You stared at your phone again, but this time you weren’t thinking about the professor. You were thinking about Cassie —and whatever happened with the waiter, you had a feeling it wasn’t going to be the last secret she kept from you.

The flat was quiet. The soft glow of the desk lamp flickered gently in the corner of the room, casting long shadows on the walls. You had intended to spend the evening reading, to dive into the worn copy of Notes from Underground that you’d picked up a few days ago. Dostoevskij had always intrigued you, his exploration of the human psyche—its contradictions, its darkness, its beauty—had always felt like something you could connect with, in some way.

After your conversation with Cas earlier, you'd promised yourself that tonight would be different. You’d push aside the distractions, the thoughts of Professor Cumberbatch, and focus. You needed to focus.

You sat on the couch, tucking your legs underneath you, the book open in your lap. The first few pages were filled with the usual musings of the Underground Man, his bitter, self-loathing observations about society, about himself. You tried to focus on the words, the rhythm of Dostoevskij's sentences, but as you read, your mind began to wander again.

It had been a simple request, really—just a quick meeting to discuss whether you could join his course. But when you walked into his office, something in the air had shifted. It was as if you’d entered a different world entirely, one where rules were set by him and only him, where even the smallest gesture seemed significant.

His eyes, so sharp, so calculating. That slight frown when you spoke, as if every word you said was being measured against some invisible standard. His voice had been cold, as it always was, and yet there was something else in it—a hint of something that couldn’t quite be defined. Was it curiosity? Or was it just the way he viewed everyone: as another puzzle to solve, another enigma to dissect?

You tried to shake off the memory, but it clung to you like a shadow.

You forced your eyes back down to the page of the book. The Underground Man, now deep in his musings, was reflecting on his own alienation from society, his frustration with his inability to act on his desires. It should have been comforting. After all, you were feeling a similar sense of frustration—not with society, but with yourself. With Professor Cumberbatch.

It wasn’t just that he was cold or distant—it was the way he saw people, the way he seemed to know exactly where their weaknesses lay. The way he had looked at you that first time, his eyes narrowing slightly, his lips barely moving as he gave you the approval to join his class. It was as though he had known you weren’t like the others, and that made you both anxious and… intrigued.

The Underground Man’s internal dialogue, so full of self-hatred, was suddenly too familiar. You could almost hear his voice—“I want to be everything, to be admired, to be desired. And yet, I remain here, on the outside, watching, always watching, but never truly seen.”

You felt that way sometimes, too. Like you were watching from the outside, never quite allowed in, never quite understood. But with Cumberbatch... it was different. You weren’t just watching. You wanted to be seen by him. You wanted to break through that cold exterior, to make him see you as more than just another student, to make him notice you in a way that was beyond grades or lectures.

You sighed, closing the book with a snap. The words of Dostoevsky had faded, now irrelevant in the face of your own swirling emotions. His coldness was beginning to consume you, a constant, nagging presence at the back of your mind. You didn’t know what it was, exactly. Was it admiration? Or something darker, something more dangerous?

You glanced at the clock on the wall. It was late—too late to be thinking about him so intensely, but you couldn’t stop yourself. The idea of him lingered, wrapping itself around your thoughts like smoke. Why did you even care so much? You couldn’t say for sure. You didn’t want to care, but every time he spoke, every time he looked at you, you felt the pull again.

You tried to read, but the words just wouldn't stick. You couldn’t escape him, not even in the pages of a book. You closed your eyes for a moment, the silence of the room swallowing you whole, and all you could see was Cumberbatch’s sharp gaze, that unshakable calm, as though he was always five steps ahead of you. Maybe it was the challenge that drew you in, you thought, the way he made you feel like you were always trying to catch up, always striving to prove yourself. Maybe that was it. But deep down, you knew it wasn’t just about proving anything. It was about him. About how his coldness made you feel like you needed to be more than what you were.

You had read somewhere that the most intriguing people were often the hardest to understand. That the more distant they were, the more fascinating they became. Perhaps that was what it was. You couldn’t stop thinking about him because you were trying to figure him out, trying to decode him like some impossible puzzle.

But you also realised, with a twist in your gut, that maybe you were trying to decode him for an entirely different reason.

You shook your head, pushing the thought aside, but it was no use.

The silence of the flat was suffocating, the kind of silence that made your thoughts feel louder than they should be. You had tried, really tried, to focus on the book in your lap. The weight of it seemed heavy in your hands, but not because of its content. No, it wasn’t the book that weighed on you—it was the battle raging inside your head.

Every time you read a sentence, every time you tried to immerse yourself in the Underground Man’s bitter rants, your mind would drift back to that man. His face, his voice, that cold, assessing gaze that had been burned into your memory since the first time you’d met him.

You hated that you couldn’t push him out of your mind. You had tried so hard. You had closed the book, shifted on the couch, taken deep breaths, even tried to replay the dull, comforting monotony of your day to drown out the thought of him. But it was useless. His image crept into your thoughts like smoke, seeping into every corner of your mind, twisting everything around.

Focus, you told yourself. Focus on the book, on the Underground Man’s cynicism, on his contempt for the world. Focus on something that makes sense.

But it was impossible.

The thought of Cumberbatch lingered like a shadow, taunting you. What was it about him that had you so utterly captivated? You barely knew him, for God's sake. You knew nothing about his life outside of class, nothing about his personal history. And yet, there was something about the way he carried himself, that air of indifference mixed with intellect, that had gotten under your skin in a way you couldn't explain.

You shifted uncomfortably, your heart racing for reasons you couldn’t quite name. You didn't want to think about him. You really didn’t. The thought of liking him—of feeling something for him, something other than disdain or annoyance—made you feel… dirty. It wasn’t right. He was your professor, after all. The power dynamic between you two was something you couldn't ignore, and yet your body had betrayed you, repeatedly, in ways you couldn’t control.

Why was it so hard to just stop thinking about him?

You hated this feeling. It wasn’t admiration; it wasn’t respect. It was something else. Something that made your stomach twist uncomfortably, as if you were standing on the edge of a precipice and couldn’t quite bring yourself to step back from it.

Why couldn’t you just leave it alone? Why did your thoughts keep drifting back to him, like he had some magnetic pull over you?

The mere idea of him—of liking him, of being attracted to him—made you want to crawl out of your skin. You could feel the shame creeping up your neck, heat spreading across your face.

This is ridiculous, you thought, clenching your hands into fists. He’s your professor. He doesn’t care about you. He probably doesn’t even see you as anything other than just another student—just another face in a sea of faces.

But no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself, the discomfort wouldn’t go away. The thought of him lingered like a taste you couldn't wash from your mouth, sweet and sour all at once.

You stood up abruptly, pacing the small flat. The low hum of the city outside the window seemed to taunt you, as though the whole world was moving forward while you were stuck in this strange mental loop. Every time you thought you’d gotten rid of him, he'd slip back into your thoughts.

I need to sleep, you told yourself, desperate for some escape from the dissonance swirling in your mind. Sleep is what I need. Forget about him. Just sleep.

You grabbed your book and threw it on the nearby desk, suddenly unable to stand the sight of the pages anymore. Your breath was shallow, your hands trembling slightly. This wasn’t like you. You weren’t one to obsess over things like this. You weren’t someone who let a professor—someone who barely even noticed you—take up so much of your mental space.

But you were. And it scared you.

You moved toward your bedroom, your steps heavy with exhaustion. The night had dragged on far too long, and you felt the weight of your thoughts pressing down on you. You undressed quickly, too tired to think, and crawled into bed, pulling the covers tightly around your body as though they could somehow shield you from the storm of emotions raging inside.

You lay there in the dark, staring at the ceiling, eyes wide open, the silence almost unbearable. You tried to clear your mind, but each time you closed your eyes, his face appeared. His eyes. That voice.

You squeezed your eyes shut, as if that would banish the thoughts away.

The sunlight filtered in through the blinds, casting soft stripes across the room. You woke up to the familiar hum of the city outside, the world moving on without pause. Your head ached a little, not from the usual hangover, but from the weight of your thoughts, which had stayed with you throughout the night. But for now, you pushed them aside.

You rubbed your eyes, stretching under the covers, still half-dazed from the lack of sleep. It was Saturday, which meant you had the luxury of a lazy morning. The apartment was quiet, save for the faint sound of Cassie moving around in the kitchen. You could already hear her talking, her voice cheerful, full of that easy energy that always seemed to fill the space. As you dragged yourself out of bed, the familiar scent of coffee wafted through the apartment—one of the few things that always made you feel more awake. You walked into the kitchen, where your friend was sitting at the table, sipping her coffee with a mischievous grin on her face. There was a spark in her eyes that was impossible to ignore, a knowing glint that made you immediately suspect what she was about to say.

“Morning,” you muttered, rubbing your eyes one more time.

“Good morning!” Her voice was bright, almost too bright. She leaned back in her chair, casually stirring her coffee, her gaze never leaving you. “So, how was your night?”

You winced slightly, a quick flash of discomfort crossing your face. You hadn’t exactly planned on this conversation. The night had been quiet for you, spent in a dazed attempt to avoid the things swirling in your head. But Cassie had clearly been up to something more exciting, and there was no way she wasn’t going to talk about it now.

You sat across from her, trying to feign casualness, but the unease you felt about last night’s thoughts—about the guilt you couldn’t shake—was hard to ignore. Your fingers wrapped around the mug of coffee you’d poured for yourself, its warmth a small comfort in the still-chilly morning air.

“So, uh, how was your… night?” You asked carefully, trying to sound nonchalant. You really didn’t want to get into the subject of Cumberbatch, not now, not when you still hadn’t figured out what the hell was going on with you.

Her eyes sparkled with a mischievous grin. "Oh, it was quite something," she said with a dramatic pause, leaning in slightly, as if sharing some kind of inside joke. You raised an eyebrow, dreading the details, but bracing yourself for them nonetheless.

“I told you that waiter was cute, didn’t I?” she said, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial tone. “And we had such a fun time talking, you know? He was so easygoing, not like those uptight types we usually meet. And then… Well, we ended up spending the night together.” She shrugged, completely unapologetic. “It just sort of happened. Nothing too dramatic. I think he’s a little younger than me, but it was fun—completely spontaneous. I don’t know, I just felt like doing something different, you know?”

You nodded, still processing her words. For a moment, you just stared at her, feeling that strange sense of disconnection. She seemed to take everything so easily, while you felt like you were being buried under a pile of guilt and confusion. You weren’t even sure what you wanted anymore—everything felt foggy.

“Wow, sounds like quite the night,” you said softly, attempting to sound encouraging without delving into the details.

“Oh, you bet,” she replied with a playful smile. “I’ll tell you everything later, but not while you're giving me that look.” She winked at you, obviously seeing through the facade you were trying to maintain.

You swallowed hard, a sharp pang of self-consciousness running through you. You hadn’t exactly expected to be interrogated about her night with the waiter, but the more she talked about it, the more it reminded you of how distracted you had been with your own thoughts. Thoughts you couldn’t even fully acknowledge yet.

You bit your lip, trying to keep your focus on Cassie words and not on the uncomfortable knot forming in your stomach.

“Hey, don’t look at me like that,” she said, catching your glance. “You’re making it sound like I did something bad. We’re adults, you know.”

It wasn’t that you judged her at all—really, it wasn’t. But there was something about the way she was so carefree that made you feel even more self-conscious about your own internal battle. You suddenly felt so small, so inwardly conflicted. There you were, stuck on a man you couldn’t have, with thoughts you couldn’t control, and all she seemed to care about was whether her spontaneous hookup had been fun or not.

You shifted in your chair, trying to focus on your coffee, as if it could provide some kind of escape.

“Yeah,” you said, forcing a small, half-hearted laugh. “You always know how to have fun.”

“Of course I do,” she replied, her grin widening. “You know me.” She paused, studying you for a moment, her expression softening slightly. “But, you are okay, right? You’ve been a little... off lately. You know you can tell me if something’s bothering you.”

You hesitated, looking down at your coffee. You wanted to tell her everything—how you couldn’t stop thinking about the professor, how the thought of him made you feel weird, like you were betraying some unspoken rule. But no, you couldn’t. Not yet. Not when you still didn’t understand what was happening to you.

You forced a smile, hoping it looked more convincing than it felt. “I’m fine,” you said quickly. “Just tired, I guess. Nothing to worry about.”

She didn’t seem entirely convinced, but she didn’t press you any further. Instead, she shifted in her seat and grabbed her phone, distracted by a new message.

“Anyway, I think I’m going to see him again,” she said breezily, glancing down at her screen. “Maybe we can all go out next week. You in?”

You nodded absentmindedly, lost in your own thoughts again. The idea of hanging out with her and the waiter seemed like a distant thought now—almost too simple, too light-hearted for what you were feeling. The weight of everything you couldn’t say pressed down on you.

“Sure,” you managed, your voice quiet, far from the enthusiasm you were trying to fake.

You couldn’t bring yourself to ask about the details of her night any more than she had pried into yours. And for the rest of the morning, you sat quietly, trying to pretend that everything was just as it had always been.

But in your mind, all you could think about was the crushing, relentless feeling of wanting something you couldn’t have, something that you knew, deep down, would only complicate things further.

And you weren’t ready to deal with that.

#bbc sherlock #benedict cumberbatch #benedict cumberbatch smut #benedict cumberbatch x reader #sherlock #sherlock fandom

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totowlff · 1 year ago

Text

chapter thirty-eight — on the cover

➝ check now the new issue of karriere by der standard magazine!

➝ word count: 2,6k

➝ warnings: none

➝ author’s note: well, the hiatus is over. after a few turbulent months in my personal life, with a layoff and a hiring involved, in addition to depressive episodes, i am finally back in front of the keyboard to continue writing my stories. i appreciate the kind messages i received from everyone who still wanted to read more about elisabeth and cassie. they were of paramount importance for me to go ahead. i hope you like this chapter.

SEPTEMBER, 2017

A Flower Blooms On The Asphalt

Toto Wolff and Elisabeth Lauda talk about business, family and the next step in the relationship that rocked the world of Formula 1

By Rosa Winkler-Hermaden

They say that first impressions are lasting impressions, and the first impression one gets when watching Elisabeth Lauda and Toto Wolff together is that they are not your average couple. Both possess a presence that's impossible to ignore, courtesy of his tall stature and her piercing blue eyes, and the sense of poise and seriousness both of them exude, even in a setting as relaxed as this one.

Watching the two settle down on the sofa for the conversation, held in the couple's penthouse located in the Innere Stadt, it's hard not to not get the impression that the two of them are indeed “Austrian motorsport’s royalty”, a nickname given to the couple by the reporter Ted Kravitz, of Sky Sports F1. Considering who we're talking about, it's a very apt way to describe the couple, even though they vehemently deny it.

“It's a definition that I find funny, but I don’t necessarily agree with it. Neither Elisabeth nor I expect things to be done for us, let alone have figurative roles on the team. We are two completely normal people, we work and strive to provide the best working environment for everyone on the team”, Toto says, while holding his partner's hand.

“I think who my father is lends itself to the description, but I don’t really think it’s an accurate view of who Toto and I are as people. Like he said, we are completely normal people. We were just lucky enough to find each other in the middle of all this mess”, Elisabeth tells me, which makes Toto smile, his dark eyes glued to the small diamond sparkling on her left ring finger. The mess she is referring to, of course, is Formula 1, a world that today is the backdrop for, according to magazines and newspapers across Europe, “the greatest love story in sport to date”.

It’s a story that all starts in downtown Vienna.

Mixing business with pleasure

As her surname suggests, Elisabeth Lauda is the youngest daughter of three-time Formula 1 champion Niki Lauda and his wife of over 40 years, Marlene. With her beauty inherited from her mother and the acerbic personality of her father, she grew up between Austria and Ibiza, with a period in Italy in the 1990s when Niki worked for Ferrari. With a life between the Spanish island and her home country, as well as a few years studying at the Lycée Français in Vienna made her a polyglot. In addition to her native German, she speaks Catalan, Italian, French and English. “We're even on this one, we both know five languages apiece”, Toto comments, with a mischievous smile.

With two business degrees and an MBA from the University of Vienna, Liesl, as Toto calls her, was never interested in the world of motorsport. She says that she always preferred to work together with her father in his business outside of racing; the management of airlines and other investments he’d made in the early 2000’s.

“My father always said that, for matters related to Formula 1, he was in charge. I was never even tempted to delve into that world, that was something he did with my brothers. Things started to change when he received an invitation from Daimler to buy shares in Mercedes-Benz GP, which meant he would take the position of non-executive director of the team. He asked me if I wanted to help him with the project, and so, Formula 1 became another business interest of mine”, Elisabeth says.

Unlike his partner, Toto Wolff fell in love with speed in his late teens. He didn’t grow up watching racing, despite the fact that he does recall watching his father-in-law compete on television. After watching Philipp Peter, a friend of his from Vienna, compete in German Formula 3, the young man became convinced that this was what he wanted to do with his life. However, his reality was quite different.

Growing up in an upper-middle-class neighborhood in Vienna, his life changed drastically when his father, Sven, was diagnosed with an incurable form of cancer. It wasn't long before the business went bankrupt and his parents separated. Joanna, his mother, was left having to care for Toto and his sister, Lili, as a single mother. The dream of being a driver seemed distant, especially with his family’s financial difficulties. However, by pooling the savings from some Christmas and birthday gifts, Toto was able to buy (ironically) a SEAT Ibiza to start racing in Austria.

However, his fairy tale was short-lived. After a few unpromising seasons in Formula Ford and without the support of his main sponsor, who pulled out after the death of Roland Ratzenberger in 1994, he found himself taking another path.

“I entered university in a Business course, but ended up dropping out after I got an internship at a bank in Warsaw. I thought I would learn more in the real world, so I dove in. It's not something I really recommend, but, at the time, it seemed like a good idea. I learned a lot about investments and how to read the markets there, so that was a good thing” ,Toto says. He built some wealth by making lucky investments in early tech startups, which gave Wolff the chance to fulfill another dream: owning a Formula 1 team.

He became an investor first in HWA, a motorsport supplier that ran the Mercedes DTM factory team, which eventually led to him investing in the storied Williams F1 team. His work with Williams caught the eye of Wolfgang Bernhard, part of the board of directors of Daimler, the parent company of Mercedes, in the summer of 2012. Mercedes had re-entered Formula 1 in 2010 after taking over the Brawn GP outfit, and struggled in its first two seasons back in the sport. After a meeting with Dieter Zetsche, chairman of the board, he was invited to buy shares, along with Niki Lauda. “The turning point”, according to Wolff.

The couple's first contact was in September 2012, at a dinner at the Edvard restaurant, in downtown Vienna. Elisabeth laughs as she remembers arriving at the place with her father after an unexpected delay, as well as the moment she saw Wolff for the first time.

“My father arrived at the table, started greeting everyone and I started to ask myself why I was there, since I didn't know anyone, I hadn't participated in any meetings, I wasn't directly involved in the operation. Until he”, Elisabeth says, turning her head toward Toto. “He got up to talk to my dad and all I could think about was how beautiful his smile was”.

Wolff is more direct about his first impression of Elisabeth. "I'm a bit of a pessimistic man and particularly skeptical about love. I've been married and divorced once, so I figured the whole “romance” thing wasn't for me. And then she walks into the restaurant and it's like my heart said 'wait, I think we can try again'. And I decided to give it a try".

Although they didn't really talk much during that first dinner, they did get a chance to grow closer over lunch in Singapore. “The way he told me about his life, the details, the twinkle in his eye, that enchanted me. It felt like I was talking to someone I had known forever. There was a feeling of familiarity, of comfort. It was like I had finally found my home”, Elisabeth says, as Toto kisses her on the hand.

However, the couple took a while to get together. There was some hesitation on her part, especially considering her involvement in the team’s operations, given who her father is. “I feared how our involvement might look to others, especially investors. As much as we had a known and public friendship, at the negotiation table it could sound as if we were in collusion, which was not true”, she says.

That hesitation meant that each of them stepped back from their burgeoning relationship. Toto even had an affair with a French model in the meantime, but it didn't last long. “I couldn’t get Elisabeth out of my head,” Wolff explains, a shy smile on his face. Shortly thereafter, the two kicked off their relationship, which was surprisingly well-received by both of their families.

“Everyone’s reaction was something between 'finally' and 'I already knew', so I think we were just postponing something that was going to happen one way or another all this time", Elisabeth says. “You were putting it off”, Toto says, as Elisabeth shakes her head. “I wasn't”, she replies, while Wolff smiles mischievously.

The harmony between them is visible, even when they disagree on something. And that is a key element for the results that this partnership has achieved.

Communication as the key to success

Since 2014, the team commanded by the couple has won the Formula 1 constructors’ title three years in a row. The championship for individual drivers — the World Drivers’ Championship — has been won by a Mercedes driver since 2014 as well. At this point, history is set to repeat itself, though both Elisabeth and Toto deny that it is a certainty at this point.

“The results of the last few years have been incredible, but that doesn't mean we have everything in our hands, this year was proof of that. We weren’t as consistent during the first part of the season as in previous years, which cost us points in several races”, Toto says. "Ferrari did an excellent job this year and we had to fight to recover, especially after what happened in Monaco with Lewis’ car".

When asked if she agrees with her partner's assessment, Elisabeth smiles. “Yes, at this point, I agree. Nothing we have achieved came on a golden platter, it is the result of the effort of more than two thousand people in Brackley and Brixworth. The results belong to everyone, not just to those on the podium with the trophy”, she says. They seem to be mostly in agreement on everything, a picture of teamwork and harmony. I ask about it.

“Definitely not all the time”, he says, stifling a laugh. “Toto likes to say that he fell in love with the most headstrong woman in Austria, which is accurate, I think. Contrary to what many people think, I have firm positions on things. I'm not easily influenced, especially when it comes to business”, Elisabeth explains. Despite sounding like a source of conflict, the two cite their ability to communicate as their major strength together.

“Elisabeth and I had very different lives and paths until we met. It's completely normal and expected that we have different opinions and views on things, but we talk a lot and we always try to reach a middle ground”, Toto says. “Of course, when it comes to Mercedes, given the fact that Elisabeth is a representative of her father and not necessarily a shareholder, sometimes the conversation needs to be with Niki and not with her. But we always work with dialogue, on all fronts”, he completes, while his companion nods positively.

Of course, they can’t avoid all conflict, and Elisabeth confirms this herself. “We are still a normal couple. We argue, we try to understand each other, and we try to put our best vision on the table. But the fact that we managed to make our relationship work both in the workplace and at home is a sign of our maturity, I think”.

When asked if dialogue is the key to the team's success, the couple looks at each other, smiling. “It's difficult to attribute all the success of recent years to a single factor. But, I believe that communication, not just between the two of us, but within the organization, is extremely important”, Toto responds.

At this point, Elisabeth says that she wants a cup of coffee, and offers one to her partner and me. Toto refuses, giving his partner a good-natured jab about her caffeine intake. “I only appreciate the finer things in life”, she replies, planting a kiss on his cheek before getting up and heading to the kitchen.

A bright future

As we enjoy an espresso together, the couple talks about housekeeping and decorating. I ask about the pictures on the mantel above the fireplace. There are pictures of the couple by themselves, pictures of Toto’s two children from his previous marriage, and pictures of the Lauda family. Looking at all of it at once, it is impossible not to admire how the two of them have created a brilliant professional and personal life.

But, what about the future?

“We both intend to stay at Mercedes for a few more years. It's a long-term project, for both of us”, Elisabeth responds. "We renewed our contracts at the beginning of this year, until 2020 at least, then we will remain in the paddock for a few more seasons".

“We're both on the same page in that regard. We both have ambitions and desires in common and we know that, together, we will be able to achieve them”, completes Toto. When asked what those ambitions might be, he smiles. “We want to take Mercedes to the top, make everyone recognize it for the greatness it has. The brand has spent a long time away from Formula 1 and we both want to recover the lost decades. So far, I think we’re succeeding”.

They have more intimate, family-related desires as well. “We want to provide the best environment for them”, Elisabeth says, pointing to one of the photos of her stepchildren. “Have the best experiences and be happy. We make a great effort to have as normal a family life as possible, considering their routine, their mother's and ours. Fortunately, we are also having success”.

However, it is not their only wish. “We're also thinking of expanding the family”, Toto comments quietly, as Elisabeth jabs him with her elbow. Laughing, he explains. “If it were up to me, we'd already have a little boy running around the house, but Liesl is more traditional. First love, then marriage, then the baby”, Toto says, while Elisabeth blushes.

Asked about motherhood, she gives a shy smile. “I have a big family and I already have two nephews, so having kids has always been on my mind. After my stepchildren came into my life, I felt that desire grow even more. But it's not something immediate, especially considering our routine”. “And the fact that we aren’t married”, Toto adds, smiling.

When I ask about the ring on Elisabeth’s finger, she and Toto look at each other with knowing smiles, almost as if they were deciding whether or not to share the news. “Yes, we’ve taken the first step. We are engaged”, Toto finally responds. “Personally, I never imagined that I would be engaged after forty, but life hides some admirable surprises, and one of them was Liesl”.

When I ask her about the proposal, Elisabeth gives me a smile. “It wasn't traditionally romantic, but it was extremely meaningful for both of us”, she says. “I had thought about proposing during the days we spent in Ibiza, but I ended up not getting it. It ended up being here in the penthouse, inside the office, which was still meaningful for us”, Toto says, his thumb stroking the skin of her hand.

They don’t yet have a date or venue in mind, but both of them agree that it will be a small, private affair. “It's something we agreed on regarding the event. No crowds or spotlights. It will be something private, for us to share this moment with the ones we love, nothing more”, Elisabeth explains.

Asked if they feel that is the logical step to be taken in the relationship, Toto is adamant. “Yes. There is no one else I would want to be with in this world”, he replies, before putting his arm around her and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

It is impossible to doubt him.

#toto wolff #formula 1 fic #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #wlffog #formula one fanfic #scwlff

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kyber-crystal · 1 year ago

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Okay bestie how about Christmas HCs where Obi-Wan is spending Christmas with you and your strange family ❤️

HI YES OKAY

also i'm so sorry if my writing seems off, i'm lwk rusty from not having written anything in a FAT minute. anyway enjoy some festive obi-wan!!

you and obi-wan were born on complete opposite ends of the galaxy, on different planets

this meant different cultures, different traditions, different ways of life

obi-wan doesn't remember much of his childhood—he can barely recall who his family was and only has a few fading memories of them—while you remember your loved ones in great detail

so when he hears you talk about your family and sees how your face lights up when you do, it's very bittersweet for him

now, life day (i believe this is christmas in star wars terms lol) is quickly approaching but you had been too busy throwing yourself into teaching an introductory sparring class for the younglings, along with your personal training, to realize it

if it were up to master windu's doing you wouldn't be getting as long of a break

but it's master yoda in charge here, and he grants you a long weekend to rest—which you and obi are incredibly grateful for as you've gotten a combined 6 hours of sleep in the past 3 days

(pathetic, you know...especially when it's drilled into your heads from day 1 of being in the temple that rest is the key to a happy, fulfilling life)

your family stories are always filled with lots of laughter, vibrant colors, and more love and compassion than he could even describe

so when you invite him to come to your home planet with you he's obviously excited

though outwardly he expresses how he feels a bit nervous

they've all heard about your best friend and wise master, but have never spoken to him in person

"it'll be fine, trust me! i have a big family but i promise you they're the nicest people you'll ever meet."

so he agrees, and you fly out that following morning

you can tell he's nervous as you get to the front door

so you intertwine your fingers together, giving his hand a squeeze

it's your silent way of telling him it's going to be just fine :)

and your family instantly LOVES him

of course, you're first bombarded with the classic "are you two married?" "when's the wedding?" "y/n, this is the first time you've brought a man back home!" "he's so handsome!" and whatnot

meanwhile, obi stands there with flushed cheeks...

the older women of the family—your mother, godmother, grandmothers, aunts, etc—instantly love him since he offers to help you out in the kitchen

in the meantime, you sit in the living room with your siblings, cousins, and the rest of the men

"where is the ring on your finger, y/n?" your favorite uncle asks you. he has this GIANT grin on his face and he's wearing THAT "ugly sweater" with a pink loth cat on it

ever since you got it for him, he's made it a yearly tradition to put it on at every holiday gathering

so it's hard to not laugh at first when you're trying to respond

"uncle ted, you know jedi can't get married!"

"who said you had to follow the rules?" he raises a brow at you and you laugh again

"y/n," your dad adds on, "he's right. you should be getting married soon..."

"but the jedi code!"

"it's not a crime if they don't find out, right?" your oldest cousin, cal, says

...and all the men murmur a "yep" or "touche" at that

obi wan catches part of this conversation and comes over, "who's marrying who?"

"she's marrying you!" your younger sister, layla, exclaims with a giggle

and now it's time for both you and obi to get extremely flustered

"SORRY," you quietly tell obi in your mind. "my family can get a bit...chaotic."

"it's okay, don't worry about it," and he smiles at you

while you're eating dinner, you catch him looking around the room—at your family, the eccentric decorations on the fridge and walls (courtesy of layla, cassie, and cal), the most stunning tree standing tall in the corner, the golden stockings with hand-stitched names of each cousin hung above the crackling fireplace—and your heart swells with warmth

in all his years of living so far, obi-wan has never felt so much at home as he has now, with you by his side

even amidst the chaos of the day, he tells himself he wouldn't want to be anywhere else, & he means it

later, you're making gingerbread houses together (apparently obi has never heard of this tradition before, so you take it upon yourself to teach him all about it)

but despite knowing little about it, he ends up making the best house out of everyone

you come in close at 3rd place, though you're sure your house is only one breath from falling apart

there's frosting all over your hands

and on your chin, apparently, but obi wipes it away with a quick sweep of his thumb

the longing look in both your guys' eyes doesn't go unnoticed by the rest of your family

long after everyone has gone to bed for the night, you stay by the fireplace together with glasses of warm milk on the coffee table in front of you

"you're really lucky, you know," he tells you. "to have a family you can remember and spend time with when you can."

"i really am..." you agree, "but obi-wan, you're always welcome to come over. my family loves you. i know it's only been a day but they already want you to be a part of the family."

(neither of you realize that he's taken ahold of your hand and started to gently brush over your ring finger)

and just around 4 short months later, you wake up one morning to find a sapphire ring on that exact finger

"just so you know, i'm saying yes," you squeeze his shoulder before going off to continue with the rest of your day

(how the council doesn't suspect anything, you have no idea. but you're grateful for it lmao)

ok i'm so sorry idk what i was doing with the ending there but I HOPE YOU ENJOYED &&&& merry christmas & happy holidays!!!'

tags (once again, this list hasn’t been updated in a while so apologies if it seems off haha): @voguesir @fl0ating @lady-elena-adeline @katelynnwrites @freeshavocadoooo @buckysbeloved @kelieah @kaleidoscope1967eyes @lam-ila @amelia-song-pond @unstablecaffeinatedmind @elenavampire21 @joyfullyswimmingface @arkofblake @hellotherekenobi

#obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan kenobi #star wars imagine #obi wan kenobi imagine #obi wan fic #obi wan imagine #obi wan imagines #obi wan x reader #star wars prequels #star wars oneshot #obi wan kenobi x you #obi wan kenobi x y/n #obi wan x you #christmas #holidays

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bluejaysandblackbats · 6 months ago

Text

Hair Trigger

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam, Superfam, YJ98

Summary: A junior at Gotham University, Jason finds it difficult to conceal his worsening mental health from his family and his friend, Jon Lane Kent. Family secrets are revealed and boundaries are pushed as Jason and Laney struggle to navigate through school, their romantic feelings, and their trauma. Could the reintroduction of Laney Kent be more trouble than it's worth, or is it just what Jason needed to confront the demons of his past?

I will also do trigger warnings for chapters and if there is smut I have the chapter(s) tagged so you don't have to worry about nsfw in the fic if you're just here for the story itself.

Chapters: 18/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Jonathan Lane Kent, Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Lois Lane, Cassandra Cain, Tim Drake, Conner Kent, Natalia Knight, Jonathan Samuel Kent, Cassie Sandsmark, Chris Kent, Bart Allen, Original Character(s)

Relationships: JayLaney, Clois, TimKon

Additional Tags: University AU, No Powers AU, Sharing A Bed, Romance, Angst

Chapter Eighteen: Overwhelm

"If you know the words to this one, feel free to sing along," Conner spoke softly into the mic before the band started playing, "I Want You To Want Me," and Laney yelled in celebration. Jason wasn't much of a dancer, so he stood there swaying until Laney started dancing with him.

Laney grinned as Jason started to loosen up, and it seemed like he was really enjoying himself. Jason chuckled at the reality of what was going on. Jason admitted to himself that Laney is the only one who could've gotten him to dance in public like that. As the night went on, the songs slowed in tempo gradually, allowing Jason to share a few slow dances. "They're doing a great job," Laney whispered in Jason's ear.

"They are, and you're standing on your tiptoes again—."

"Am not," Laney grinned.

"I'm looking at your feet right now," Jason laughed, and Laney shook his head.

"Lie again," Laney laughed, and he looked up into Jason's eyes, waiting for a kiss.

Jason smiled and pressed a kiss to Laney's lips. "I love liars," Jason whispered. Laney stopped standing on his toes, not even noticing that the band's set was over.

Sylvia ran into Laney on her way to the bathroom, and she tapped Laney's arm. "They're amazing!" she exclaimed. Laney hugged her. "Will you tell my dad that I'll meet him at the car?"

Laney shook his head. "I'll ask the girls to wait for you," Laney offered. Sylvia smiled and cocked her head.

"Mel's coming with me," Sylvia replied as she pointed to a tall girl with dark makeup on. Laney smiled and nudged her.

"Is that your girlfriend?" Laney asked. Sylvia nodded. "I like her look. Okay, I'll tell your dad to meet you at the parking lot if I see him." Jason took Laney's hand, and they went to the little area behind the stage to talk to the band. "Conner, look this way," Laney commanded as he took out his phone and took a picture of Conner.

"No, I know I looked gross. I'm sweating," Conner complained. Laney showed Conner the picture. "Oh, actually... I look kind of cool."

"Now, let me get one of all five of you," Jason added as he took out his phone. They all stood together, and Jason took a few pictures.

"You guys did great."

"Is no one willing to say it? I'm starving," Tim replied. Jason chuckled.

"We're all gonna go to Lane's," Conner reminded him as he was startled by a pat on the back from Laney.

"We'll see you at my place in a minute," Laney smiled before Jason took his hand, and they walked back to the car.

Jason got in the driver's seat, and Laney's whole body relaxed, and he closed his eyes. "Tired?" Jason asked.

"No, I'm relieved," Laney replied, "Our brothers did pretty good tonight, huh?" Jason made an affirmative noise. "What are you thinking about? Is it something I did?"

"Did you have fun?" Jason asked.

Laney smiled and nodded. "I think I know what you're really asking. This could be our first date," Laney whispered. Jason smiled and nodded. "You're so pretty when you dance." Jason shook his head with a smile on his face, and they drove all the way to Laney's apartment.

They took the elevator up, and Laney let him in. Jason washed his hands and started to set the fold-out table in the middle of the room. "I didn't know you had a fold-out table," Jason whispered.

"I don't. How many people are we setting the table for?" Laney asked.

"You, me, our brothers, the rest of the band, Sylvia, and her dad," Jason replied.

"You forgot Sylvie's girlfriend, Mel... How do you figure we're gonna seat-." Laney counted on his fingers. "Ten people. Fuck, how is Noah gonna feed ten people?" Laney asked. Someone knocked on the door. "I've got it." Laney walked over to the door and opened it and the band piled in, each of them carrying a fold-out chair.

"We just saw your roommate on the way up. Also, we stole from you guys' school," Tim announced. Jason smiled.

"Good, and hey um... Be nice, I've never met my roommate's dad before, and I'm sure she'd appreciate it if everyone was nice to him," Laney requested. Everyone nodded.

The door opened once more, and Sylvia walked in with Noah and Mel, talking about a fishing trip they had a few years ago. Noah washed his hands in the sink and turned the oven on to heat up the food. "Be honest, did either of you peek?" Noah asked. Jason and Laney shook their heads.

"Conner, can I see you in the room really quick?" Laney asked. Conner nodded and followed Laney to his room. Jason sat at the table next to Bart and across from Tim.

Bart dug through his pockets frantically, and Cissie walked over and gave him his phone. "You were scared you'd lose it, so you gave it to me," Cissie replied. Bart relaxed his shoulders.

"Thanks," Bart replied. Conner and Laney came out of the bedroom, and Conner put something in his jacket pocket and whispered something to Tim, and Tim smiled.

Noah opened the oven and took out the food before asking for everyone to bring their plates. While he served everyone, Sylvia poured everyone a glass of juice, and they all sat down. As dinner went on, Jason seemed to grow quieter and quieter until Jason offered to wash dishes and clean the table. Jason seemed to be lost in thought as he stared emptily ahead of himself.

He was startled by Laney's hands on his waist, and Laney whispered, "You okay?"

Jason nodded as he tried to put together something to say, and Laney started drying dishes on the rack as if Jason had already explained himself. Once the plates were put away, Laney said goodnight to everyone and went back out to the car. Laney took the keys, and he stood outside the car for a moment. "You're not okay, are you?" Laney whispered. Jason got in the passenger's seat. "I just wanna know what's wrong—."

"Lane, I'm tired," Jason snapped. Laney nodded and started driving back toward Jason's apartment, leaving the car in complete silence. "Laney, I'm sorry... I don't know. Maybe I'm just overwhelmed."

"That's fine. I can sleep on the pullout couch until—."

"It's not you. I hate to say today was a lot, but it was for me... I had fun, but now all I want to do is take a shower and lay down with you," Jason whispered. Laney nodded and didn't say anything else until they got back to Jason's apartment. Jason went to the bathroom and took a shower while Laney turned the tv on. He turned the volume down as low as possible. Jason came out of the bathroom and stood still for a while, trying to pull himself together.

Laney turned around and looked at him. "Jay?" Laney whispered as he got up and walked toward Jason and held him. "You don't have to talk, okay... Go sit down, and I'll make the bed."

Laney left Jason alone in the living room while he put Jason's sheets on his bed, and he made a detour over to give Jason a kiss on the cheek before taking his shower and getting dressed in his pajamas. When he stepped out of the bathroom, he stopped at the couch to ask Jason if he was ready to go to bed. Jason got up and walked back to the bedroom, taking his sweater off. After Jason got in the bed, Laney went and plugged his CPAP into the wall, and he climbed into bed.

Before Laney could sit up and grab his mask, Jason leaned over to kiss him. "Hey... No, okay?" Laney whispered. Jason nodded. "I know what you want, but I know it's not the right way to go about things." Laney took off his shirt, and he put on his CPAP and placed his arm over Jason's chest.

"I don't know why I feel like—."

"It's okay... I feel the same way sometimes, so I get it," Laney reassured him. "Jason, I understand."

Jason placed a hand over his face and clenched his teeth as a few tears rolled down his cheeks. "I'm sorry—."

"It's okay," Laney interrupted as he took off his mask, and he sat up. Jason lay there crying, covering his face with both hands, and Laney pulled his hands out of the way, and he pulled Jason up into an embrace. "I've got you."

Without thinking, Jason started to sob harder than he ever had in someone else's presence. After a while, he couldn't cry anymore, and Laney kissed his shoulder affectionately. "Laney?" Jason whispered. "I'm so embarrassed."

"Don't be. Listen, I love you so much. I just want to be here for you. That's all I want," Laney whispered. He and Jason kissed, and Jason touched Laney's lower back. "Whoa, listen... I don't want to right now." Jason nodded and took a deep breath. "We've got the rest of the weekend, but tonight I think we need to just sleep." Jason waited until Laney put on his CPAP mask to lay back down. Jason went to sleep, and Laney did as well.

Laney got up once to go to the bathroom, and he tripped over Jason's slippers and cursed, waking Jason out of his sleep. "Are you leaving?" Jason asked. Laney shook his head.

"Gotta piss," Laney mumbled, half-asleep, and he stumbled to the bathroom. When Laney came back, Jason was curled up facing Laney's side of the bed with his eyes half-closed.

"Thank you, Lane," Jason whispered. Laney smiled and got comfortable once more.

They slept peacefully for the rest of the night, and as soon as Laney woke up, he turned his machine off and just lay still next to Jason. "I used to suck my thumb on and off, and I stopped this last time right before my birthday," Laney whispered.

"Are you sleeptalking?" Jason mumbled, startling Laney.

"I thought you were asleep," Laney chuckled.

"Resting my eyes..." Jason smiled.

"Are you okay?" Laney asked. Jason nodded.

"I'm okay now," Jason whispered. Laney smiled before going to brush his teeth, and Jason followed after him to use the sink. "Mm... Lane, do you have Bart's number?" Jason asked.

"Yeah, it's in my phone. Gonna take my advice?" Laney asked before rinsing his mouth out.

"Mhm," Jason answered, "I might." Laney smiled a half-smile as he pressed a kiss to Jason's cheek and slipped out to Jason's bedroom. Jason rinsed his mouth out and dried his face on a towel as he followed Laney back to the bedroom, and they kissed. Jason lay back and allowed Laney to pin his hands above his head before being interrupted by Jason's laughter.

"What?" Laney asked. He let go of Jason's hands as he continued to laugh.

"I'm sorry. No, I'm sorry," Jason laughed until he was near breathless. Laney lay next to him.

"Can I ask you a personal question if you promise not to get upset?" Laney asked.

"I mean, yeah, you can," Jason replied hesitantly.

"When did you know for sure?" Laney asked.

"I was nine. It wasn't a big emotional thing. I just remember there was this boy in the neighborhood, and he had the prettiest brown eyes... And every day I could, I would wait for him.

I never even spoke to him, but one day he finally stopped and asked me if I wanted to come with him to the pool," Jason answered.

"What did you do? Did you say yes?" Laney asked.

"I turned around and ran home," Jason laughed. Laney chuckled.

"Really?" Laney laughed.

"Yeah, I panicked," Jason half-yelled as he started to laugh.

"We're more alike than I imagined," Laney smiled, "What did you think when I ran?"

"I thought you were repulsed by me or that you were gonna go and tell everyone I kissed you," Jason replied, sitting up.

"If I thought you were repulsive, I would've told you that. And I never would've been mean enough to tell someone you kissed me... Conner saw you and me that night. He told me himself when we got home, and I wanted to deny that it happened, but he wouldn't let me," Laney confessed, "But no... I never thought you were repulsive. I really hoped that I would get another chance to kiss you, but the time never felt right."

"You could've kissed me whenever and I would've let you. I was crazy about you... I'm still crazy about you," Jason smiled. Laney grabbed Jason's arm and pulled him a little closer.

"I'd like to kiss you now," Laney whispered. Jason chuckled as he pressed kisses all over Laney's neck and face before Laney cupped a hand against Jason's cheek and led him into a kiss.

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hey-michael-young-history · 1 year ago

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CageBlade Week is over but I have this fanfic of a fanfic that I really like 🙈

It's part of a bigger omegaverse story, the kombatants are still kombatants but in this AU, Johnny is a famous movie star, a badass defender of Earthrealm, and also studied biotechnology to help Jax recover and win Sonya's heart

I love CageBlade, I just don't get to write them much.

A Lover of Beautiful People

"He's... nice."

Johnny Cage sat up and made space as Sonya Blade eased herself on the futon. “I understand now. Why you wanted to see him again.”

God, has she always been so beautiful? The answer was yes, of course, but the postnatal afterglow was making her radiant. Ethereal.

A goddess.

Her hair was so thick that she couldn’t comfortably tie it up in her typical ponytail. It cascaded, caressing her face, brushing her shoulders, hugging her waist. And her pheromones. A gentle musk that pulled Johnny in without him even realizing. He couldn’t imagine the effect they had on Bing-Yun.

“It’s actually refreshing how honest he is,” Sonya continued. “And he really likes you.”

“Yeah,” Johnny said, unsure of what else he could add.

“And he trusts you. It was interesting. He wanted to see pictures of Cassie.”

“Did you show him?” Johnny asked.

“Just a few,” Sonya said. “It’s not like I have a lot.”

Same old Sonya. But God help him, he loved her just the way she was. “He loves kids.”

“Did you learn that when he was your patient? Or when he became your fuck buddy?” Sonya asked.

“Hmm. Maybe while you were in labor with the child you told me you weren’t having,” Johnny quipped.

She narrowed her eyes. “You’re seriously going to hold that over me? Like you were gonna just give up your Hollywood lifestyle? Johnny, you couldn’t even come to the first appointment.”

“We were cleared to shoot months ago. But I told you, I’d call break–”

“If I wanted, you said, huffing and pouting. Like it was a fucking chore. The poor, scared Omega can’t bear to go to a fucking doctor on her own,” Sonya snapped.

“Yeah, sorry if I was still a little freaked out. I just found out that I was having a kid with the one person in the world who ghosts me after a date,” Johnny snapped back.

“The one person in the world who doesn’t fall to their knees to swallow your self absorbed bullshit.”

Johnny grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the house. She pulled away, but he kept walking. “I don’t want you waking Sleeping Beauty. He’s still recovering.”

“Wow. So you aren’t just fuck buddies, you actually–”

He turned and faced her. “It’s not. At all. He’s my patient.”

“Jax was your patient too and you weren’t fucking him,” Sonya accused.

Johnny laughed. “It’s okay for you to tell me to fuck off and never come back but if I actually do move on–”

“Get off it, Cage,” Sonya scoffed. “I was doing you a favor.”

“Well, do me another and stop assuming you have me all figured out, okay?”

“What’s there to figure out?” Sonya asked. The pleasant maternal pheromones were starting to sour. “You came, you saw, you conquered the one Omega who has the nerve to turn you down.”

“Jesus, Sonya, you are the only person who gives a shit about your secondary sex!” Johnny yelled, throwing his hands up.

“Fuck you, Cage,” Sonya spat back. “Don’t you dare act like you know what my life is like as the fucking weak sexes! Especially when you’re a fucking male Alpha fucking another male Alpha!”

Same old same old. A month ago, Johnny would have given his left nut to get a chance to talk to her. And now he was screwing it all up, just like the last time they spoke.

What would Bing Bong say if Aibing was this pissed… he had to suppress a smirk. He couldn’t even imagine Bing-Yun raising his voice. “You’re pissed because the guy I’m helping is the exact opposite of you. Tall, dark, male, and an Alpha.”

“You said I was your type,” Sonya protested and Johnny could see, beyond the curt finality of her tone, that it was a statement rooted in hurt. “And I fell for that bullshit.”

“It wasn’t bullshit. Johnny Cage is a lover of beautiful people. I’m kind of shallow like that,” he explained, giving her a cheeky grin.

Her lips twitched as she shook her head. “I can’t believe I ever…”

“Hey, if you never fell for me, we wouldn’t have cute little Cassie Blade,” Johnny pointed out.

Sonya closed her eyes and sighed. “Her last name isn’t Blade.”

“Cassie… Briggs?” Johnny guessed.

“My God.” She tented her hands over her eyes. “It��s Cage. Cassie Cage.”

Johnny stared off in the distance as a grin crept across his face.

“Okay, before you read too much into that, you have no idea how aggravating it is to be unbonded and pregnant. I thought Jax taking me to the hospital would help but apparently bonding makes you smell like your partner so everybody knew he wasn’t my Alpha. Giving her your last name was the only way to get everybody off my back.”

#mortal kombat #johnny cage #sonya blade #cageblade #omegaverse #tw a/b/o

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duskys-dreams · 1 year ago

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I was replaying Minecraft story mode. It was supposed to be episode seven, but things were a little… different.

The team and I went in the manor, finding LDShadowLady, DanTDM, and StampyCat. I knew we were supposed to be finding Cassie Rose, so I led everyone around, trying to find her.

We came into the room that would later be the one that Lukas was tricked by the white pumpkin. Knowing the secret, I immediately punched the picture frame, revealing a startled Cassie Rose.

We chased her through the secret tunnels, eventually landing in a large room that had a river. Cassie Rose did a villainous monologue, and Petra stayed right by my side, protecting me.

Outside the game, I thought to myself about how I’ve always been exposed to Jesskas in the fandom, but this was why I loved the Jesstra ship. They aren’t as lovey-dovey, but they still care deeply about each other and would defend the other with their life.

I paused the game and wrote down a ship dynamic thing like the one I saw on Tumblr, about the smart popular girl and the brooding tough girl. I think I wrote it with a blue SmartBoard marker, because it was really hard to write down neatly.

I came back to the game. Cassie Rose kept going on her spiel about how she was greater than all of us and was going to trap us all here while she went to freedom. She was cut off by a skeleton standing in the river that shot her in the face.

Lukas pulled off his elaborate skeleton costume and yelled at us to run. We ran outside, and saw a second huge dark oak wood manor floating in front of the one we just came out of. It was on a one-block-thick plain about three blocks off the ground, and it was incredibly tall.

Lukas and Petra stayed back to guard while I explored the place with Dan, Lizzie, and Stampy.

We went down a winding spire, and Lizzie shrugged and told us that there clearly wasn’t anything here, and we should go back. Stampy agreed, as the entire manor was giving him the creeps. I wasn’t having it though, and I broke the north wall, revealing a secret office room with the Warden sitting at a desk, waiting for us. We all tackled him.

He surrendered immediately, and I broke the wall behind him, revealing a huge room with a giant unfinished nether portal. It had iron bars framing where each block should go. I suddenly remembered seeing a strange enclosed room outside when we were entering the manor, this must’ve been it.

Dan, Lizzie, and Stampy told me to finish the portal. I was in creative mode now, and tried to add obsidian to the unfinished parts. Something told me this wasn’t right.

The Warden was calling out the word “blue” repeatedly, and I eventually came over to ask what that was all about. He just told me “blue” again, and I stared at him. He sighed and told me to use warped tree logs. I finally realized that this was a puzzle, and went back to work, but not before placing polished andesite all around the hole that led to the portal room. I didn’t want the Warden jumping in and ruining everything.

The obsidian I had placed changed to warped planks once I held it in my hands. I kept placing, then decided that polished andesite wasn’t enough, replacing it with obsidian. The Warden said “yup,” as I replaced it, understanding my caution. I thought for a second, then placed bedrock outside the obsidian to make extra sure he couldn’t break out. He said, “yup, thanks for that.” Then I finally went back to placing.

I had worked my way to the other side of the portal before I heard blocks breaking behind me. Then, the Warden zoomed into my line of sight and swung three times at me, killing me instantly.

I respawned outside with Lukas and Petra, who asked me what happened. I told them that the Warden killed me, which was weird because I was in creative mode. This wasn’t how the game was supposed to go.

Since Cassie Rose had messed with the plotline, I decided that I would, too. I donned my elytra, along with Petra, and we flew behind the original manor. Right behind it, the world ended, and there was a layer of oak planks one block beneath it, barely enough for us to squeeze through.

Petra and I flew back through it and found the spot where the climax of the story was supposed to happen, the pit filled with Endermites. There was a large hole in the wooden planks, lined by red nether bricks, that went down to the room where Cassie Rose kept the real flint and steel. Petra and I agreed to come back later and take it, then storm the floating manor.

We went back and explained the plan to everyone, everyone being Dan, Lizzie, Stampy, Lukas, and about a hundred random people that were in the original manor, apparently. Everyone was on board, and we gathered our weapons.

I went back and stole the flint and steel as everyone else marched outside to confront Cassie, who was floating in front of her manor. Apparently she had admin powers now. She laughed at us and flew inside, and we chased her.

In the floating manor’s ginormous living room, Cassie’s own army waited for us. We clashed.

I had an unenchanted netherite sword, and it took three swings to kill a person. That wasn’t very good, considering how almost everyone else had more powerful weapons. Even so, I held my own, killing Cassie’s soldiers left and right.

I found a person that had a stiff wrist, but a sword that looked like an enchanted gold katana. I killed him, then took his sword. It was enchanted with Wrist II, which assisted with the user’s wristwork. Even with this enchantment, the other guy was not very good at moving his sword.

I attacked a nearby soldier in full plated armour, and the sword cut through it like a hot knife through butter. They dropped immediately.

I clashed swords with another person, and their sword became horribly dented after hitting mine. I struck their sword again, bending it further, and then killed them.

My army was doing well. We were steadily gaining the upper hand. Then, I spotted Petra, cornered by four people. Technically three, as the fourth one was unarmed and a few feet behind their comrades, gloating. I killed the one in the back, and that brought everyone’s attention to me. I gestured for Petra to run, and she did.

One of the fighters, who resembled something of a small giant, started stomping, causing sonic damage. I mimicked him, jumping in sync with my more powerful sonic attack. This killed the other nearby enemies, and eventually the giant.

The battle came to a standstill, and I met with Luna from My Little Pony at the kitchen table. She told me that we were losing and we needed help, and she knew where to find it.

She took out some sort of kit and explained that she would call the creatures that little ponies feared. The horrible creatures from folktales, like Discord and a harpy. She started singing Confrontation of Jekyll and Hyde, and they started gathering in the kit. I noticed that they all looked like plastic toys, and a good chunk of them resembled my dragon figurines. I pointed this out to Luna, but she didn’t seem to care.

More and more toys started to appear, and I noticed two Discords who were identical, except for the shape of their eyes. I knew that his right eye was red and his left was yellow, but it was harder to see on one of them. Less so on the other, and his eyes looked more angry.

Eventually, I got impatient and grabbed one of the toys, a harpy, and threw it across the room. Everyone had found a hiding spot by now, terrified of what Luna was summoning. Once it hit the ground, the harpy came to life, and attacked our enemies. I tossed another toy, the Discord with the angry eyes. He came to life, growing larger and ready to kill.

I looked back at Luna and told her that I didn’t think we needed this many, there were barely any enemies left. She couldn’t stop at this point, and I even noticed Nightmare Moon in the pile. I wasn’t expecting Luna to want to summon her of all people.

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silriven · 2 years ago

Text

K.A. Applegate’s Letter to Fans

Animorphs is making the rounds again thanks to an article on Polygon that talks about ways you can read this twenty-year-old series now so I thought I’d signal boost my favorite part: Applegate’s open letter to fans who complained about the last book. I think the reason why this hits me so hard is because I was one of those young fans who didn’t understand at the time why the series ended in the way that it did and stumbling across this response as an adult finally provided catharsis. It’s a really funny and dark and deep series about a teenage resistance to an alien invasion and I highly recommend reading it.

Big spoilers for Animorphs under the cut.

This response was posted on Morphz.com by the co-owner Jeff Sampson, who had kept in touch with K.A. Applegate during the run of the Animorph series.

-------------------------------------------

Hi, everyone. I remember when the last Animorphs book first came out how there were some people who really hated it. Their negative posts really brought me down, because I loved the last book, and I was compelled to respond to all of the posts.

Apparently, K.A. felt the same way.

So, here it is for you, a letter from her to the fans explaining exactly why she ended it the way that she did, a response that will undoubtedly annoy some people. Be warned, the following does contain spoilers, don't read if you haven't read the last book!

- Jeff Sampson

-------------------------------------------

Dear Animorphs Readers:

Quite a number of people seem to be annoyed by the final chapter in the Animorphs story. There are a lot of complaints that I let Rachel die. That I let Visser Three/One live. That Cassie and Jake broke up. That Tobias seems to have been reduced to unexpressed grief. That there was no grand, final fight-to-end-all-fights. That there was no happy celebration. And everyone is mad about the cliffhanger ending.

So I thought I'd respond.

Animorphs was always a war story. Wars don't end happily. Not ever. Often relationships that were central during war, dissolve during peace. Some people who were brave and fearless in war are unable to handle peace, feel disconnected and confused. Other times people in war make the move to peace very easily. Always people die in wars. And always people are left shattered by the loss of loved ones.

That's what happens, so that's what I wrote. Jake and Cassie were in love during the war, and end up going their seperate ways afterward. Jake, who was so brave and capable during the war is adrift during the peace. Marco and Ax, on the other hand, move easily past the war and even manage to use their experience to good effect. Rachel dies, and Tobias will never get over it. That doesn't by any means cover everything that happens in a war, but it's a start.

Here's what doesn't happen in war: there are no wondrous, climactic battles that leave the good guys standing tall and the bad guys lying in the dirt. Life isn't a World Wrestling Federation Smackdown. Even the people who win a war, who survive and come out the other side with the conviction that they have done something brave and necessary, don't do a lot of celebrating. There's very little chanting of 'we're number one' among people who've personally experienced war.

I'm just a writer, and my main goal was always to entertain. But I've never let Animorphs turn into just another painless video game version of war, and I wasn't going to do it at the end. I've spent 60 books telling a strange, fanciful war story, sometimes very seriously, sometimes more tongue-in-cheek. I've written a lot of action and a lot of humor and a lot of sheer nonsense. But I have also, again and again, challenged readers to think about what they were reading. To think about the right and wrong, not just the who-beat-who. And to tell you the truth I'm a little shocked that so many readers seemed to believe I'd wrap it all up with a lot of high-fiving and backslapping. Wars very often end, sad to say, just as ours did: with a nearly seamless transition to another war.

So, you don't like the way our little fictional war came out? You don't like Rachel dead and Tobias shattered and Jake guilt-ridden? You don't like that one war simply led to another? Fine. Pretty soon you'll all be of voting age, and of draft age. So when someone proposes a war, remember that even the most necessary wars, even the rare wars where the lines of good and evil are clear and clean, end with a lot of people dead, a lot of people crippled, and a lot of orphans, widows and grieving parents.

If you're mad at me because that's what you have to take away from Animorphs, too bad. I couldn't have written it any other way and remained true to the respect I have always felt for Animorphs readers.

K.A. Applegate

Source

#animorphs

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merciedblood · 2 years ago

Note

"How do you bare it? Losing everyone over and over. Having places you've been forget you were ever there?"

@bxrningblack has been going through it

"Oh, sweetie." The truth is? She isn't sure. That answer won't help right now though, true as it feels. It won't ease away Cassie's tears or stop the place from shaking with her loss. Althea can't fix this, as much as she desperately wanted to. But she could gently pull the younger down onto the couch with her, and wrap her arms around her tight.

"You know," she started softly. "Once, I didn't." Althea lessened her grip and let Cassie sit with her back to her chest, softly running a hand through her strawberry curls. "When my daughter died, I stopped interacting with the world. I didn't see the point anymore. My world was shattered. Like it cracked when her heart stopped, and just fractured more when we put her in the ground." The fact Diana had seen it coming didn't mean anything. No prophecy would have ever prepared her to actually face the day. Nothing ever would have. It's unnatural for parents to bury their children, and there's few griefs that will rip you to your bones like it. "I withdrew into myself so much that I didn't really exist in the world for almost two decades. No medicine practice, no midwifing, no friends, no romance, no love- and, Cassie, it's not worth it. We're only human, and we need relationships. Hard as they are, or painful as they might be. They're worth it." Bittersweet- always- but worth it.

"Starting over is hard, but you're more resilient than you think. You just need to breathe." The spirals Cassie's mind would go down made her powers spiral too. And she's seen this story before. It didn't have a happy ending. Cassie deserves a better one, but who really knew if it'd be what she ended up with.

"Places don't really forget me. Not completely. There's still traces in books, in photos, in the family lines that are still here because I helped, in family stories that got passed down until they turned into a tall tale or legend."

"You're not as forgettable as you think you are. Your world feels so small because that's how your father wants it to feel. It takes away your power, it makes you feel like you have no where to run, but I promise you the world is so much bigger than you think, and no one is insignificant in it. Especially not you."

#*waits for my impending disco yelling from mak*#bxrningblack

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teenslib · 2 years ago

Text

Here's the text of Applegate's letter to readers:

Dear Animorphs Readers:

So I thought I’d respond.

Animorphs was always a war story. Wars don’t end happily. Not ever. Often relationships that were central during war, dissolve during peace. Some people who were brave and fearless in war are unable to handle peace, feel disconnected and confused. Other times people in war make the move to peace very easily. Always people die in wars. And always people are left shattered by the loss of loved ones.

That’s what happens, so that’s what I wrote. Jake and Cassie were in love during the war, and end up going their separate ways afterward. Jake, who was so brave and capable during the war is adrift during the peace. Marco and Ax, on the other hand, move easily past the war and even manage to use their experience to good effect. Rachel dies, and Tobias will never get over it. That doesn’t by any means cover everything that happens in a war, but it’s a start.

Here's what doesn’t happen in war: there are no wondrous, climactic battles that leave the good guys standing tall and the bad guys lying the in dirt. Life isn’t a World Wrestling Federation Smackdown. Even the people who win a war, who survive and come out the other side with the conviction that they have done something brave and necessary, don’t do a lot of celebrating. There’s very little chanting of ‘we’re number one’ among people who’ve personally experienced war.

I’m just a writer, and my main goal was always to entertain. But I’ve never let Animorphs turn into just another painless video game version of war, and I wasn’t going to do it at the end. I’ve spent 60 books telling a strange, fanciful war story, sometimes very seriously, sometimes more tongue-in-cheek. I’ve written a lot of action and a lot of humor and a lot of sheer nonsense. But I have also, again and again, challenged readers to think about what they were reading. To think about the right and wrong, not just the who-beat-who. And to tell you the truth I’m a little shocked that so many readers seemed to believe I’d wrap it all up with a lot of high-fiving and backslapping. Wars very often end, sad to say, just as ours did: with a nearly seamless transition to another war.

So, you don’t like the way our little fictional war came out? You don’t like Rachel dead and Tobias shattered and Jake guilt-ridden? You don’t like that one war simply led to another? Fine. Pretty soon you’ll all be of voting age, and of draft age. So when someone proposes a war, remember that even the most necessary wars, even the rare wars where the lines of good and evil are clear and clean, end with a lot of people dead, a lot of people crippled, and a lot of orphans, widows, and grieving parents.

If you’re mad at me because that’s what you have to take away from Animorphs, too bad. I couldn’t have written it any other way and remained true to the respect I have always felt for Animorphs readers.

K.A. Applegate

So I found the letter that the Animorphs author and trans ally K. A. Applegate wrote after the series ended and I’m FLOORED

I mean

#animorphs #k.a. applegate

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infernalodie · 2 years ago

Note

Hi, I wanted to make a request for a Maddy x male reader story. The reader is Cassie's and Lexi's younger brother (he a year and a half younger than Lexi) and he's not a popular guy. He's really kind, sweet, sensitive and really shy, but he's never had a girlfriend and his only friends are Rue, Fezco and Lexi. His face is really similar to Cassie's, but he's tall (like 6 feet), really skinny and has a deep but soft voice. He loves music and he's a great guitarist and singer, and he plays the guitar in a grunge band.

Anyway, back on topic, he's been really in love with Maddy for a long time and he decides to confess his feelings writing a song for her. Maddy feels the same, so they kiss (by the way, it's the reader's first kiss) and then he loses his virginity with her. Maddy would be the dom here, but really careful and loving with him. It will end with the reader falling asleep cuddling to Maddy.

I can already feel the fluff potential reading this!

𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫 || 𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐳

“𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘚𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯 𝘔𝘺 𝘳𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘮 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘯𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶“

Inspo: JVKE - golden hour

Pairing: Maddy Perez x Howard!Male!reader

Summary: She was your golden hour...

Warnings: teeth rotting fluff and passionate smut. Dom!Maddy Perez, Sub!Reader, and petnames.

Words: 2689

DNI IF YOU’RE YOUNGER THAN 18!

“Do we know when he’s done signing stuff with fans?” Maddy inquired rather impatiently. She along with Cassie, Lexi, Rue, Jules, and Elliot were in the back hallway of the venue you and your band had somehow managed to secure. A rather impossible possibility having come true after taking a chunk of your savings and renting the venue out for the night. Practically pleading with your friends to attend as you hadn’t wanted your money to go to waste. “If you guys come, my money was well spent,” were your words to be exact.

Your two sisters, sporting your band’s merch, and makeup done for the vibe of the night, looked at their friend. “He’ll be done in a few, then we can go back and drink,” Cassie reassured, lips twitching into an amused smirk. “And it’s starting to sound like you just want to see him after drooling the entire time watching him sing.”

Maddy’s cheek had unintentionally flushed at the comment. Her attention was directed down to her hands where a few of the rings that you had given her were cuffed around each digit. Deciding to have worn them tonight as some sort of support to you. Her entire outfit was all of your band's merch from the baseball cap on her head down to the socks she wore. But these rings were personal, so she wanted to wear them for the last show of your mini tour.

For most of Maddy’s junior years, she had been friends with Cassie. That had then extended to Lexi and finally to you. But out of the three of you, something about you seemed far more interesting. Maybe it was the fact that you were a stuttering and quiet mess whenever you talked to her. Or the fact that she had walked in on you wrapped up in your blankets listening to music and staring up at her with the most innocent eyes she had ever seen be worn by a guy. Such a cute thing you are.

“I just want to get out of here and he promised me some food after the show,” Maddy stated half-heartedly, not all denying your sister’s previous observation. Because, in all honesty, Cassie was completely right. Maddy had indeed been drooling as she watched you perform on stage with such elegance and some sort of twist of sexy bravado. She couldn’t explain it down to a T. But what she did know was that seeing you grinning wickedly with your hair soaked from water and your shirt long discarded, left your body to be on show with each curve of each muscle being defined. It was enough to turn her brain to mush. And the fact that you shredded every ounce of anxiety she had seen when you were up there only improved the experience.

A set of footsteps could be heard down the hall, everyone turning to see you. Leather jacket on with no shirt beneath. A cigarette hung lazily out the corner of your lips as you rubbed your eyes tiredly. But the sight of you sent a warm and electrifying feeling through Maddy. She’s had feelings for you since she first heard your voice and has truly loved you since your eyes met hers without any anxiety.

“Good show tonight, Y/n,” Rue yawned. “But I will say, I am about ready to home and sleep.”

That comment caused you to laugh as Jules slapped her girlfriend's stomach. “I’m beat as well. But thank you all for coming out tonight. It means a ton.”

“Okay, what’s happening with vehicle transportation? Are we taking Rue and Jules whilst Maddy takes you and Elliot?” Lexi inquired.

But as your lips parted, Maddy cleared her throat. “Umm, how about you guys take everyone and I’ll take Y/n?” She suggested, looking to her friends, hoping they would catch the hint. It took them a minute, as they saw your body visibly tense up as your once long-forgotten nerves had returned, but Elliot was the first to speak.

“Oh, yeah, totally,” he dragged the words on with a large grin, waving them to follow. “C’mon, kiddos. It’s bedtime.”

The rest of the group grumbled curses towards the boy as Maddy and you followed slowly in tow. Maddy had noticed how your gaze frequently fell onto her, cigarette having been crushed under your air forces as you stuffed your hands in your jeans. Trying to not make it obvious that your nerves were shot.

But she noticed.

Stepping out into the rather warm night, the group bid farewell to you and Maddy before all huddling into multiple vehicles. You followed Maddy to her vehicle, catching her gaze when she looked over her shoulder. “You were really good tonight,” she praised, causing a warm flush to appear on your cheeks. An involuntary smile, meek and sweet, appeared on your lips.

Maddy couldn’t help but huff with a bashful look on her face. You may have never intended it, but you looked adorable. Whenever she saw you, the way your eyes scrunched up with a smile, the dimples in your cheeks, you looked so cute, and it frustrated her. Constantly wondering where you have been all her life and how someone could be so innocent.

Because you really were. The innocence you kept from your childhood still carried on into your teen years. Leaving you sheltered from the horrors (for you at least) that kids your age did. You never did drugs, you never drank alcohol, you had dated but they were merely innocent and never divulged into anything, and you’d never had sex. The last one Maddy wanted to expose to you and show you exactly what you were missing out on.

“I’m glad you could come,” you told her softly. “Although, I don't see why you had to buy every piece of our merch.”

She looked down at herself, smile falling slightly as she looked back up at you. “Do I not look good?”

That caused your heart to stutter as your lips parted in shock at the question. “I- What?! Y-You always look good! I was just surprised that you decided to dress up as much as you did. I mean, I’m grateful-” Your rambling was stopped when Maddy placed one of her hands over your mouth. A laugh fell from her lips as you stared down at her with saucers.

“I was only joking, Y/n,” she reassured, pulling her hand back and shrugging as she continued walking to her car. “But you look so fucking cute when you’re flustered. I almost let you keep going.”

You grumbled, hands stuffed into your pockets as the two of you got into her car. Maddy’s keys jingled as she started the vehicle and began to pull out of the parking lot. But although you were flustered and nervous, you reached into your pocket and pulled out your phone. Maddy noticed but didn’t say anything, allowing you to connect the Bluetooth.

“I- Um, I made a song I wanted you to hear,” you managed to get out, slightly stumbling over your words. Maddy glanced at you, lips widening into a soft smile.

“Am I getting the exclusive first listen ever?” She inquired, teasing you. You laughed, nodding as you went into your audio files and opened the mp3. Breathing in deeply and holding it for a second.

Just do it. Do it. Worst that happens, she kicks you out of the car while it’s moving.

Pressing play, you placed your phone down and clasped your hands together tightly to hide the faintest shake. Yet the repetitive keys of a piano did ease you, slightly. It wasn’t enough to hide the nervous look you had on your face as Maddy glanced at the stereo system and at you for a moment.

“It was just two lovers. Sittin' in the car, listening to Blonde. Fallin' for each other,” you muttered the lyrics, eyes still shut. “Pink and orange skies, feelin' super childish. No Donald Glover. Missed call from my mother. Like, "Where you at tonight?" Got no alibi. I was all alone with the love of my life. She's got glitter for skin. My radiant beam in the night. I don't need no light to see you.”

The progression of the song built up into a pause before the chorus came in. Shine. It's your golden hour. You slow down time. In your golden hour.” You held a soft smile on your lips, becoming lost in the keys and adlibs. Becoming transported into a makeshift world that held you and Maddy only. A possibility that you had dreamt of before making this song. “We were just two lovers. Feet up on the dash, drivin' nowhere fast. Burnin' through the summer. Radio on blast, make the moment last. She got solar power. Minutes feel like hours. She knew she was the baddest, can you even imagine. Fallin' like I did? For the love of my life. She's got glow on her face. A glorious look in her eyes.My angel of light.”

You hadn’t noticed, but as the song winded down, the car had come to a slow stop on the side of a random street in Highland. With your eyes closed and still lost in the song, you had not known what Maddy was doing. But when the song finally came to an end, your eyes flickered open. Looking to Maddy about to speak, but was stopped when her lips pressed against yours suddenly. It knocked the wind out of you, body tensed up in shock at such an abrupt action.

Her hands held your face, sighing softly against your lips. As shocked as you were, you soon melted into the kiss, holding her wrists gently. It was awkward for a kiss as this was your first time, but Maddy was taking her time. Slowly guiding and showing as to what to do. Good thing you were a quick learner because you were soon replicating her actions, tongue clashing against hers. She parted just a breath away, a soft chuckle falling from her lips as she looked up at your closed eyes.

“I love you to the moon and back.”

“Maddy, I-” You groaned, head rolling back onto the plush pillows supporting your head. You weren’t even sure how things had escalated at the rate they did. They had seemed sweet, you and Maddy holding hands the entire way back to your place. But as the two of you burst through the door, she was leading you up the stairs and towards your room. And now, you were lost and rather nervous.

Nervous might not be the right word, but it was somewhere in that realm. Especially with Maddy kneeling between your legs with her lips wrapped around your cock. Head slowly bobbing to a rhythm that she had set the moment she took you into her mouth. But since then, you’ve been battling your deepest desires of just letting go. Now, you would if it didn’t result in you looking like an idiot. So, you were balling handfuls of your sheets and eyes clenched shut in an attempt to fight off the knot that was tightening each lap of her tongue over your crown.

“Y/n, relax, baby,” Maddy’s quiet and soft voice comforted, making you take a daring glance up at the girl. She had one hand propped beside your head with her other hand stroking you. It may not have felt the same as being inside her mouth, but it still sent shivers down your spine.

You couldn’t help but think of how many other guys she had done this to. How much practice she had before you were now part of her body count. Or how many times she’d had sex with Nate Jacobs. Judging by how long she had dated him and hooked up with other guys, she must’ve had way more experience than you realized-

Maddy’s hand cupped your chin and shook you from your thoughts. The once comforting gaze was now stern, hardened like the grip she had on the tip of your chin. “Baby, focus.”

“I-I am,” you replied shakily, swallowing the lump in your throat. Maddy hummed, leaning down and kissing your neck. Smiling against your flesh when she felt you twitch in her grasp. Tongue peeked out from between her plump lips and licked a short stripe before laying a gentle kiss on the wet patch.

“No, you aren’t,” she finally said. “I need you to focus on me, sweetheart.” Her words were softer now, lifting from her position and finally letting go of your cock. Snickering in amusement as she heard you whine in protest. “Just lay there, puppy. I got you.”

Although you were a nervous and flustered mess, you believed her and trusted her. Allowing your eyes to take in the glory of Maddy shedding her shirt that had no bra underneath. Her pebbled nipples make your mouth salivate with the whole idea that her breast being in your hands could be enough to make you finish.

Reaching behind her, she softly grasped your cock and angled it with her dripping heat. As much as you were flustered, Maddy was double that. She had been waiting too long to do this with you. To slowly guide you through the motions and make you hers. And all the fantasies she had dreamed up never lived up to reality. Because you laid out beneath her, face flushed with those sweet little whimpers falling from her lips made her heart palpitate.

Slowly, she sank down onto your cock with a cat-like growl. Her eyes shut with her lips pulled into a large grin when hearing you moan. “So fucking good,” she moaned. “So much better than my fingers.” Hearing that caused your face to go beat red as you avoided the girl’s lustful gaze.

Holding her hands out, you hesitantly took them just as she interlocked them. Leaning forward, planting your hands above your head and just enough that her breasts were in your face as her hips rocked back onto your cock. Sending shockwaves of bliss through your body as you choked on a moan, eyes rolling back.

“There we go,” she muttered, eyes flickering shut when your lips needily wrapped around her nipple. Sucking on the bud with your other hand squeezing her neglected breast. She was in bliss. A mindless, ethereal, lewd, and salacious state that caused her mind to turn to mush. Only focused on the way your cock felt inside her and your tongue flicking over her sensitive bud. “Just focus on me, baby.”

Maddy sat against your headboard, staring down at your sleeping form that was curled in blankets. Arms curled tightly around her waist with your head resting on her stomach. Her fingers curled into your hair where she scratched at your scalp gently. A resting smile on her stomach as she felt like every little dream she had for you was slowly becoming true.

She didn’t deserve you, honestly. From all her past exes, notably Nate, she never thought true love ever existed. Whatever she thought she had with them never compared to this. The butterflies you gave her when finally bringing the passion out of you during sex. Or your warm touch to her skin, goosebumps erupting across her body. The way her heart skipped a beat when you whispered her name. It all felt real and not something forced or taken for granted.

Yet, you brought her closer and closer and made her feel like she was worthy of your time. Worthy of your love. You should’ve been suspicious of her intentions or maybe rejected her for her dating history. She would’ve understood and let herself live with the pain of not receiving your love. But here you, naked and pressed against her body in hopes of receiving her warmth. It was strange how things had turned out, but Maddy wouldn’t have changed it.

Leaning down, she placed a kiss on the crown of your head, smiling when you shifted and pulled her closer. “Love you, baby.”

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marmixedwithabitofintellect · 2 years ago

Text

Chapter Three: Understanding

Chapter 3 is finally here!! I have enjoyed writing this chapter so much especially because of all the topics it covers! I have loved it so much and it definitely is my favorite in this story so far 🥹✨ Come talk to me after you read and tell me what you think! All the love 🤍 Mar

Disclaimer: In no way do I wish to spread hate or negative opinions about any of the characters here depicted, this is just fiction and with the purpose of entertaining you guys

February 14, 2022 – March 13, 2022: Month Three

October 16, 2014

Boston, Massachusetts. 7:35 AM.

The smell of coffee was welcome on this fall day, for once I had made it on time to Professor Jameson’s class and was able to buy my coffee. The class started filling up with students from all over campus since “Political Analysis of the 21st Century” was a common core subject for a lot of majors and minors, including mine.

After a series of arguments with my parents they agreed to let me get my bachelor’s degree with a major in Communications and a minor in Graphic Design, and so far, I have loved every single moment. Upon the recommendation of juniors and seniors I decided to get done with the common core subjects first, hence the reason I was here sitting at one of the biggest halls at Boston University waiting for my professor.

While I was reviewing my notes someone cleared their throat, I turned to look at him and I had to hold my breath, he was tall and lean, head full of loose curls, brown eyes full of kindness hidden behind a delicate frame and a smile to die for, “Hi, are you Y/N?” I stared for a few before I cleared my throat and nodded

“Yeah, that’s me”, his smile grew bigger if that was possible, “We got partnered up for the midterm project, I tried to catch you last class but had no luck”, I chuckled, “Yeah, I tend to get out as soon as I can, but thank you for reaching out”, he nodded and took the empty seat next to mine, “No problem, hey why don’t you give me your phone so we can work a schedule or something”

I nodded and reached into my bag for a post-it, scribbled down my phone number and handed it to him, he smiled before speaking up in a half whisper since Professor Jameson had arrived, “Thank you, I’m Matthew by the way”, I smiled, “Nice to meet you Matthew”

February 13, 2022

London, England. 12:30 PM.

I was pulled from my thoughts when I felt someone squeeze my arm, I opened and closed my eyes wanting to make sure I was not dreaming, however when I opened them, I came across the smile that a few years ago had me weak on my knees, Matthew chuckled before speaking up, “I’m sorry, I guess old habits die hard”

I chuckled, “How are you? It’s been a few years”, he nodded before asking, “About four or five I reckon?”, I nodded. Harry then cleared his throat and I turned to see him, he had a strained smile on his face and was silently asking who the man standing in front of us was, “Oh! Where are my manners? Matthew this is Harry”, he smiled before offering his hand to shake, “Harry it is a pleasure to meet you”

He nodded and curtly answered, “Yeah you too”, they both pulled back before I cleared my throat, “So, do you live here now?”, he nodded, “Well not really, I’m in the process of moving”, a ding from his phone had him checking the message before sighing, “I’m sorry, I have to go, but I hope to see you soon yeah? Maybe catch up?”, I nodded, “Yes of course”, he nodded before turning to look at Harry, “Nice to meet you Harry”, Harry gave him a tight-lipped smile, “You too”

And as he pulled back, I felt myself get lost on memories before Harry squeezed my hand, “Hey, everything okay?”, I smiled at him and nodded, “Yes baby, just surprised I guess”, I cleared my throat before squeezing his hand back, “Shall we?”, he nodded and reached to kiss my temple while we made our way to the museum.

February 20, 2015

Boston, Massachusetts. 9:30 PM

The party was in full swing when the girls and I got there, Chelsea went to look for her boyfriend while Cassie and I searched for Otto and Davie, the four of us were studying communication and had become a very close group of friends. A few minutes later we could see Otto’s blonde man bun and standing next to him was Davie with his favorite Red Sox cap and beside him was another tall man.

When Otto saw us, he smiled and waved to us, and as we were making our way to where he was standing Davie and the mysterious guy turned, and when he did, I stopped in my tracks, it was Matthew. I could see a flash of recognition and a smile on his face before he smirked, “Well, well, well, if it isn’t my favorite partner”, I laughed before saying hello to them and pulling each of them into a hug and stopping to stand next to him.

“It’s good to see you! How have you been? How is junior life treating you?”, he smiled and nodded, “Good, good, working on my dissertation and final credits, and you? How is freshman life?”, I sighed, “It’s interesting, but I cannot wait for it to be over”, he laughed, “Oh you’ll regret saying that soon”, I smirked, “Speaking from experience?” he nodded.

I did not realize but soon enough we were left alone, and we decided to go sit to the back patio next to the bonfire where we delved into a conversation about anything and everything. And as we were sitting there, I realized I could get used to this, conversation on never-ending topics, a feeling of ease and well, looking at his handsome face. I was pulled back from my thoughts when Cassie made her way to me, an apologetic look all over her face

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but we have to wake up in about four hours so we should sleep”, I stood up and nodded before turning to look at Matthew, before I could speak up he blurted, “Go on a date with me”, my heart started beating faster after he said this, I pretended to ponder for a few before giving him a small smile and nodding, “I would love to”, he smiled

“I’ll text you the details, yes?”, I nodded and reached in to place a kiss on the corner of his lips before making my way to where Cassie was waiting for me, after we linked our arms, I turned to see Matthew standing there and waving, I gave him a wink and turned back to see where I was walking to.

February 13, 2022

Harry. London, England. 5:00 PM.

Our date at the museum had been everything I expected and more; I had forgotten how much I enjoyed visiting museums and especially with her and being able to share our passion for art with Pippa was everything I ever dreamed of. After we finished visiting the exhibitions, we went to the gift store and bought Pippa a few books and puppets so we could play with her.

We stopped at the café so we could grab a drink and let Pippa feed, and while we waited for her to be done, we discussed what we wanted to do while we were still here and what we would need to get done before leaving for Coachella. About forty minutes later Pip finished feeding and after we made sure we had everything, and she was buckled back in her carrier we made our way to the car and headed home.

Tonight, was bath night and it was Y/N’s turn, while she was busy bathing the baby, I handled the laundry we had definitely been neglected these last few days. I had just finished putting away the last of my t-shirts and changed into some sweats when the bathroom door opened and out came my girls, I smiled and went to grab Pippa from her arms and kissing her cheek multiple times, “Hi little bug, oh you smell so nice! Did you thank mumma for your bath?”

Y/N smiled and went to the closet to change into some cozy loungewear, when she came out, we headed downstairs for our evening routine. Rain had started to fall since we got home which had us cooking some Minestrone soup and garlic bread for dinner and while everything was ready, we sat down in the living room, Pippa was laying on my knees and Y/N cuddled to my side and started playing with her tiny hand.

There was a question that had been nagging me since we ran into Matthew a few hours ago, and truly I did not want to ruin our day, but I knew that if I kept quiet it would not be good, so I took a deep breath, kissed her forehead and half whispered to her, “It was him, wasn’t he?”, after a few moments of silence I felt her nod her head.

I swallowed the lump of anxiety I could feel was stuck in my throat before speaking, “Do you… do you want to talk about him?”, she nodded again before whispering, “Let’s eat and put her to sleep and then we’ll talk okay?”, now it was my turn to nod and kiss her head in reassurance while she cooed at the baby who was enthralled with the attention that she was getting from her mumma.

August 20, 2015

Boston, Massachusetts. 2:45 PM

My plane had just landed and the only thing I really wanted to do was run to Matthew’s apartment. He had been in Washington for the whole summer working, we had been able to see each other a few times but truly it had not been enough.

After that first date back in February we had continued to see each other until he asked me to be his girlfriend in April. May brought the end of the semester and a few tears with a promise to see each other during summer and a much-awaited reunion in August. Once I got out of the plane I ran across the airport and picked up my bags in baggage claim, ordered an Uber and made my way to the dorms.

I dropped my bags and decided to take a shower before leaving to see him; however, a knock on my door had me furrowing my brows and quickly running to open it, when I did, I found Matthew standing there, a bouquet of daffodils in his hand and a smile adorning his face.

I smiled before letting him in and pulling him into a hug, “What are you doing here?”, he kissed the top of my head multiple times before muttering, “It’s been too long Birdie, I missed you and couldn’t wait”, I smiled and nuzzled into his arms before kissing his pec and pulling back a little, “I missed you too hot stuff”

February 13, 2022

London, England. 7:30 PM.

After we finished eating dinner and cleaning the kitchen Harry said good night to Pippa and I headed upstairs, I sat down in the loveseat in our room and started feeding her; as I did, I took the time to grasp the fact that she now was two months old, her personality was definitely showing through, and she is starting to look like a complete mix between Harry and me.

After a feeding, a diaper change and a little sway and kisses she was fast asleep, I settled her into the cot, turned on the monitor and headed downstairs to meet Harry, I smiled when the smell of apple and cinnamon filled my nostrils, and my suspicions were confirmed when I entered the kitchen and found him brewing some apple cinnamon tea.

When he saw me come in, he smiled and handed me the big cup we had made a few years back during a pottery class, it was definitely well loved and held a lot of memories. We turned off the lights in the kitchen and settled in the T.V. room, the fire was on, and soft music played throughout the speakers.

And as we sipped our tea, I took my sweet time studying Harry’s look; there was something bothering him, and he was conflicted about it too. I could bet it had to do with Matthew and the run-in we had today, but as I had learned with Cece my therapist, I would need to let him speak and not pressure him to do so.

We sat there in silence for a few before he spoke up, “Were you shocked?”, I turned to look at him, “Hmm?”, he gave me a small smile, “Matthew, were you shocked you ran into him?”, I sighed and nodded, “Very”, he nodded too before taking a sip of his tea.

March 25, 2016

Boston, Massachusetts. 9:00 PM

After unlocking the door, I was met with the pleasant smell of Bolognese pasta and my favorite chocolate cake. Soft music was heard through the whole apartment and Matthew’s humming made me smile. After dropping my bag and keys, I removed my shoes and made my way to the kitchen.

I smiled when I saw him finishing plating our dinner, “Hi darling”, he turned and gave me a smile before dropping the plates on the table, “Hi Birdie! Happy birthday!”, he walked to where I was standing and pulled me into a hug, “Thank you babe”, once we pulled back, we made our way to the kitchen where I was welcomed by the smell of Italian food, a personal favorite at the moment.

I was distracted with dinner before Matthew cleared his throat; when I turned, I smiled at him, he was standing there with a big bouquet of daffodils and a gift bag in hand, we both started walking and met halfway, after he handed me my gifts, he kissed my temple before I pulled him into a hug.

Once we pulled back, he started cooking again and I went in search of a vase to put my flowers, while fixing them I spoke up, “Thank you for the daffodils, they’re so beautiful Momo”, I turned and gave him small smile which he returned and continued to serve dinner. I helped him bring the salad and bread to the table while he carried our pasta plates.

And as the soft music played, we started eating and catching up on everything we had missed about each other since the last time we had seen each other two days ago. Being a junior and trying to finish getting all credits while working on projects was very tiring, but I knew at the end it would be worth it.

After we finished dinner Matthew picked up our dinner plates, I was pulling out the dessert plates while he went into the fridge, when he turned, he had a small chocolate cake in his hands; and after he placed it on the table and lit up the candle, we both sang ‘Happy Birthday’, and just before I blew out the candle, he told me to make a wish.

So, I closed my eyes, placed my hands over my heart and made my wish, I wish for a life of adventures, love, and happiness, I opened my eyes again and blew out the candle while he clapped for me.

February 13, 2022

Harry. London, England. 7:30 PM.

A million thoughts ran through my head; was the surprise good or bad? Either way why was she so quiet? Did she miss him? Did she love him still? No, please no, I wouldn’t be able to handle that. Alice had told me that I shouldn’t keep quiet my fears and doubts, but the question is, am I willing to learn the truth and live with it?

She squeezed my hand before asking, “Hey, what’s in your head? Talk to me, yeah?”, I nodded, sat up straighter and turned to look at her, “I know you have told me about your story with Matthew, but I have always felt like there was a part of it that you kept quiet, and I never tried to peak into it”, she nodded, and I took a deep breath.

“But I want you to trust me, to share it with me; I want to know you, what lead to your breakup and what I can learn from it to make our relationship, if you want us to have one, better”, she smiled, “You got me physically naked already and now you’re getting me emotionally naked huh?”, we both laughed at her comment because technically, it was true.

She reached in for my hand and squeezed it before pulling it up to her lips and kissing it and then lowering to her lap, “I agree with you, and you are right, I didn’t give you the whole story, but I need you to know that it had nothing to do with me not trusting you, but with the fact that I was hurt and grieving still”

I nodded before asking her, “Did you ever stop grieving?”, she smiled a little and nodded, “I did, actually”, I smiled, “When?”, “The day I flew to LA to meet a certain singer who had been busy traveling the world, I think you know him?”, a mischievous smile on my face when I answered her, “I may know who you are referring to”, we both laughed before she cleared her throat.

“I’m not going to lie , Matthew was someone really special in my life; you already know how we met and how we started dating”, I nodded, a melancholic faraway look took over her face, “He was my first in so many ways; first love, first kiss, first time, he was the first one to help me pull out of my comfort zone”, there was a feeling at the pit of my stomach I couldn’t identify but I hoped it would disappear soon while she continued to talk.

“Everyone loved him; for my parents he was the perfect future husband: a young handsome guy with a nine to five job, that was a philanthropist on his free time and played tennis at the club and who never missed Sunday Service and Brunch. For me, a guy who didn’t undermine me for our age difference, even if it wasn’t that much and who always said that if I wanted to work I could, or if I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, he would support it too”

Okay now I understood why she had kept so much private about her relationship to him, and God I wished I would’ve stayed quiet, but if we wanted to learn and be better, I would have to. As if she could read my mind she quietly said, “This is why I was so reserved on talking about it, because you are probably overthinking the situation”

I laughed while nodding my head before clearing my throat, “I really don’t want to be cross or rude, but I really don’t find other way to ask a question”, she nodded and I continued, “If he was so perfect, what happened?”, I saw her lip quiver and tears start to line up her lash line, my heart started beating too fast before I reached to pull her into a hug.

Once she was safely in my arms I kissed her neck before whispering, “Baby no, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry”, she shook her head and sniffled, “No, don’t apologize”, she pulled back a little and I grabbed her hand and started running my finger down her knuckles, “Harry, before I continue I need you to know that you are the first person I have ever told this to, not even my siblings know”

My mind started running with the worst-case scenarios, but I had an inkling on what she would say, she blew her nose before continuing to speak, “Matthew and I, we never labelled our relationship; yes when people asked if we were dating we said yes and I referred to him as my boyfriend and him to me as his girlfriend, but there was never a lot of fuss around what we were, the only thing we knew for sure was that we loved each other”

I nodded and continued to run my finger over her knuckles while she continued talking, “Once I graduated college we moved to New York together, we were renting this little apartment in the West Village and life was good, I started working for Vogue while he was working at one of the top financial companies” I nodded.

“We had started discussing what were our common goals, we both agreed we wanted to get married, have babies and maybe move to the Upper Side of Manhattan and raise them there, but the answer was always ‘in a few years down the line’, until one day I found myself with a missed period for two weeks and anxiety crawling out of my throat waiting for the test to finish loading”

What? I was not expecting that, and I bet my face could tell how shocked I was because she let out a half chuckle before continuing, “I think it is safe to understand the result the test showed given the situation we are currently in, but that result lead us to a conversation on how ‘a few years down the line’ could be kept for moving and babies, but not for marriage”

She let out a laugh at the shock I bet was displayed all over my face, this was all too much too soon but I was glad we were talking about it, I cleared my throat and spoke up, “He proposed?”, she shrugged her shoulders before answering, “I mean he did not get down on one knee and said the words ‘Will you marry me’, but there was love; we decided we loved each other enough to share a forever together and then he gave me a ring”

I nodded in understanding still processing what I was hearing, “ However the words ‘we really don’t have to make a big deal of this’, and ‘maybe we should keep it to ourselves for a while’ were involved, which at the time seemed to be a comfort, when in reality it should have been a sign”, I gave her a half chuckle and cleared my throat, “How… how long were you two engaged for?”

“Three months, first month and a half was as if nothing had changed, then came the letter to Edinburgh”, I furrowed my brows, “Edinburgh?”, she nodded, “He applied to study a master’s at the University of Edinburgh, when he first told me about it, I even started looking onto programs for me, but I never found one that fulfilled me”

“I still remember the day the letter came, we had just returned from visiting my parents and there it was, sitting in between bills; I still remember how happy he was and how proud he felt of himself, and I did too, I knew how much he had worked for it, but as the excitement of acceptance washed off and reality of what this move meant crashed, I knew deep down what would eventually come”

June 26, 2017

New York City, New York. 8;45 PM

Thunder, rain, and lightning had overtaken the city over the last few hours, the only source of lights coming from the candles I had lit up a while ago. Boxes were staring to line the hallway, and it seemed they were mocking me, knowing what was about to happen.

A key turning inside the lock pulled me out of my thoughts and made the dread wake up again, he went into his routine, closing the door, dropping his keys in the bowl, removing his shoes, and walking to the kitchen where he leaves his work bag.

A few seconds later he appeared at the living room entrance giving me a smile, “Hi Birdie, how was your day huh?”, the nickname was enough for me to start tearing up again, he started making his way to sit next to me, I answered quietly, “Hi Momo, it was good”

He furrowed his brows, “Birdie? What’s going on huh?”, a small sob left my mouth before I covered my eyes and let the tears fall, he placed his hand in my back and started rubbing it, “Birdie… come on”

After I cried for what felt like an eternity and clearing my tears, we sat there in silence, Matthew’s hand not stopped running down my back, I took a deep breath and prayed to the heavens that the correct words would leave my mouth, “I have been thinking a lot in the last few days, about us, the pregnancy scare, the engagement, Edinburgh”, he nodded.

“And I have found myself feeling conflicted every time the reality of what this all means”, he cleared his throat, “Conflicted?”, I nodded and sniffled, “Matthew, I’m not ready”, he squeezed my hand, “We still have a few months Birdie, everything will be okay yeah?”

Silence. An uncomfortable silence I have never experienced, I started toying with the ring that had been sitting on my finger, but instead of feeling joy I felt dread, I dropped my hands before turning to the window and started talking again.

“I know I was the one who said we shouldn’t make a big deal and we should also keep it quiet; I really thought it had to do with us enjoying the moment, but there was always something there, at first I thought it was because of all the newness this would entitle, but truthfully as the weeks have gone by, the uneasiness has grown”

I sniffled, “And I’ve come to realize that… that I’m not ready for it all”, he whispered, “What?”, I sniffled again, “I’m so sorry Matthew, but I’m not ready; this is all coming too soon too fast, and… and I don’t feel the same excitement or dreaminess I felt a few months ago when we talked about it”

Matthew nodded, a solemn look in his face, “And us?”, oh God, a sob left my mouth while I reached to squeeze his hand, “Matthew, you are so special, so unique, you have brought me so much joy, happiness; you showed me a world I didn’t know and for that I love you, and I’m so thankful for you”

A sad smile started adorning his face, a squeeze returned to my hand, “But you’re not in love with me anymore huh?”, I couldn’t look him in the eye while I nodded, a sob leaving my mouth while he pulled me into a hug swaying and shushing while I cried whispering how things were okay.

When we pulled back, he started clearing my tears, while I apologized, “I’m so sorry Matthew”, a smile adorned his face, “Why Birdie? You were honest and your feelings are so valid; I will not lie, it hurts, and I will probably be sad for a while, but everything will be okay, yes?”

I shook my head, “How can you forgive me so easily?”, he kissed my cheek, “Because I love you, and you are special to me, and I’m so grateful we got to share so much and before you start thinking I hate you I don’t, Birdie you’re young, you deserve to live your life, not the life I want or your parents want”

“And if that is not next to me, it is perfectly fine, I just hope that one day we can run into each other again I hope you tell me that your life was everything you wanted it to be, okay?”, I nodded and sniffled, “Thank you Matthew”, he smiled, “Thank you Birdie”

February 13, 2022

London, England. 7:45 PM.

“I moved out the next week into the apartment we now live in, we didn’t keep in touch after that, but it took me a few months to be other the heartache”, Harry sat there a serious look on his face, “And then?”, I smiled.

“And then, I fell in love with my life again, continued to work in free-lance projects, until I landed a very picky client, he’s a pretty famous singer”, he smirked and pretended to think, “I think so, care to tell me more about him?”, I laughed before continuing.

“Well, he hired me to help him with his album, and somewhere along the way we fell in love; but sadly, one day we broke up, and heck was I felt with a broken heart. I had started to learn about living without him, until one day a little tiny plus sign changed our lives forever, and now we are trying to raise a baby and getting to know each other again; after all I never fell out of love with him”

The smile on his face made everything worth it, he reached and pulled me in for a kiss, a kiss that was everything I needed at the moment, I hear you, I love you, thank you for trusting me, when we pulled back, he smiled at me before whispering, “Thank you for sharing this with me, I feel honored that you trust me enough”

“I do Harry, and I want for this to work for us to be together; frankly we both know that if we were to co-parent, we would do It awesome, but I love you and I want to have a relationship with you”, he ran his knuckles down my cheek, “I do too baby, more than anything I want you”

February 14, 2022

Harry. London, England. 4:30 PM.

I had just finished burping Pippa while Y/N was getting ready, my mum was finishing setting up in the guest room; she had agreed to come stay with us for a few days because she missed her granddaughter and future daughter-in-law, a comment that had me laughing every time she told me.

When I heard someone come down the stairs I smiled when I saw it was my mum, she smiled as she started walking to where I was standing with Pippa in the kitchen, “Hi mum, everything okay?”, she nodded and reached for Pippa, after I handed her the baby, she started kissing her forehead.

“Pippa you need to ask your daddy when will he ask your mumma to be his girlfriend again huh? Say ‘Daddy Nana wants to call her daughter in law”, I laughed before turning to the door to check if she was near before leaning in to whisper, “Baby tell your Nana it will be soon, like soon next week” I winked before pulling back while my mum danced a little.

I laughed and turned when I heard footsteps come down the stairs, I walked out of the kitchen to meet her, she looked so beautiful, once she reached the main floor, I pulled her in for a kiss and whispered against her lips, “Well it seems I’m the luckiest man this Valentine’s Day” she laughed before giving me an eskimo kiss before whispering, “Hi handsome”

We started making our way to the kitchen where my mum was finishing her tea, she smiled and walked to Y/N and handed her the baby so she could give her a cuddle before we left, my mum took a sip of her tea before speaking up, “So, what are your plans today loves?”

I smiled before answering, “We have an appointment for a painting class with a friend of Gemma’s and then we have dinner plans; is Darren still planning on coming over?”, she nodded and smiled, I was happy to see my mum falling in love again, Y/N made her way to stand next to me while my mum gave us a questioning look.

“Are you two sure you have no issue if he comes?”, we both shook our heads before Y/N spoke up, “Anne you deserve to have your date, it is the least we could do after you agreed to babysit”, my mum smiled, “I missed my girl, so this makes me happy. I’m just glad he can be here with us too”, I smiled, “Mum dinner is on me and don’t even try to fight it okay?”

She rolled her eyes and nodded while making her to where we were standing saying goodbye to Pippa, “Bye baby, be good for Nana yes? We’ll see you in a few hours”, after we kissed her forehead once more, we gave her back to my mum and grabbed our coats and masks before making my way to the van.

The drive to the little art studio took about twenty minutes, we got out of the car and walked to the white door before ringing the bell, and while we waited for, I pulled my girl into my arms and started cuddling her and kissing her forehead, and in return she kissed my pecks, we pulled back a little when we heard the lock turn.

When the door opened, I smiled, the brunette had not changed through the years, she smiled before excitedly saying hello, “Harry! It’s so good to see you!”, I smiled and moved from Y/N so I could pull the brunette girl into a hug, “Sadie! It’s been so long”, once we pulled back, she turned to look at Y/N and smiled, “Hi! You must be Y/N, I have heard so many good things about you from Gemma”

Y/N smiled and pulled Sadie into a hug before telling her, “It’s so nice to meet you Sadie, I have also heard so many good things from Gemma”, she smiled and motioned for us to come in, we removed our coats, but she told us to leave our shoes on to prevent accidents and we started following her when she spoke over her shoulder

“By the way, congratulations on Pippa’s birth, Gemma showed me a picture and I died, she’s gorgeous”, we both smiled and thanked her before she stopped in her kitchen and turned to smile at us, “I might have a little surprise for you two from a little birdie”, from the distance you could see the fairy lights inside the greenroom.

I laughed while shaking my head as we followed her to the backyard where I could see a little greenhouse, “I’ll thank Gemma later”, she grinned and nodded before opening the door to the greenhouse, inside the first thing you could see was a long table full of little remnants of arts and crafts, in the back corner there were big racks where different clay figures were sitting, two cabinets full of material were hidden in the back wall and along the right side you could see painting hung up to dry.

When we got in, we noticed that Sadie had set up two canvases opposite of each other and an array of paint colors I bet there were colors I didn’t even knew existed. On the ither side there was an ice bucket with a bottle of sparkling apple juice chilling and a picnic basket with some paninis, chips, fruit, and chocolate.

I smiled as I watched Y/N take in everything before giving Sadie a smile, “This is so beautiful Sadie!”, Sadie smiled and cleared her throat, “So, there is a speaker on the table so you can play your music, and I will go inside. I left a little book with some pictures so you can get ideas on what to paint or you can leave it to your imagination; if you need me you can click on that doorbell and I’ll come, otherwise I will see you two in a few hours”

We both thanked her and waved as she left the room before settling down and getting ready to paint, while I was looking at the book for inspiration she cleared her throat, which had me looking up to her, she smiled before speaking up, “I have an idea for our paintings”, I nodded and placed the book in the table to give her my whole attention.

“Let’s paint something that represents a happy memory for us”, I smiled, “Just one?”, she laughed, “But it cannot be around Pippa, let’s think, like really think about everything”, I smiled and nodded, and while I opened the bottle of wine, and she unpacked the food I raked through my mind on what I wanted to paint.

And as we sat down, I got the perfect inspiration, I cleared my throat before asking her, “Know what you will paint?”, she nodded and grabbed her brush to start painting, I pressed play in my phone, and we started painting.

It had been about fifteen minutes before Y/N called my name, “Yes baby?”, she let out a shuddering breath, “Can I… can I ask you something?”, I nodded, “Did you and Olivia, uhm, ever discuss the future?”, I dropped my brush before turning to look at her, “What do you mean?”, she shrugged, “Like, did you two ever discuss marriage, having your own children? Like it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it”

“No, no, it’s okay darling, I understand, and we did promise we were going to be honest with each other”, she nodded, and I sighed, “I made it clear since the beginning that before we ever thought of the future, things regarding Otis and Daisy would have to be settled with Jason, she wasn’t too happy about it but agreed”

“When Jason and her were able to work something out for the time being we started discussing moving in, truth I wasn’t too sure, Otis and Daisy were getting used to this new arrangement, I still remember one day Daisy asked me to call her dad because she missed him and it broke my heart, funnily enough, the day I found you in L.A. we were discussing the fact that she wanted to move in but I didn’t want to”

She nodded and squeezed my hand, which I took as a sign to continue, “Marriage was not on the table, I was busy touring and she still had to settle with Jason, and kids were ever only brought up when she had that scare last year, and we know how that ended”, she cringed at the memory and I kissed her knuckles before speaking up, “So yes, there was some talk, but nothing too serious”

She nodded and I cleared my throat, “Baby everything okay? Where is this coming from’”, she nodded, “Well… no, I guess I have been thinking a lot about my relationship with Matthew and your relationship with her, and… I don’t know”, I squeezed her hand once more before kissing her knuckles, she sighed before talking, “I cannot help but compare myself to the Y/N that broke up with Matthew all those years ago, and how karma did reach me when I broke up with you over falling in love with Olivia”

I nodded solemnly letting her know I was listening, “If I told the Y/N that was sitting in her first NYC flat that things would improve after her break up, then go to shit again and then shift so much, she would laugh; because truly my life has been so unexpected and what I needed but wasn’t sure I did, and I know that it sounds like a complaint but it isn’t, I’m still trying to understand everything, and well truth is that every time things come up in therapy I stir the pot”

I smiled a little, but there was something in her eyes that told me she wanted to say more, “Darling, what’s bothering you still?”, she laughed before speaking up, “You’ve always known me too well… I guess I have a confession to make, and I’m scared of how you will react and the floodgates it will open”, I furrowed my brows, but she beat me before I could speak up, “I saw the ring H”

My heart stilled and I whispered, “What?”, she smiled a little, “I was putting away your laundry from set, from the two weeks you were away due to the Covid case, and all of your underwear were not fitting perfectly, so I reached in to see what was going on and found the box”, I gave her a nervous laugh and she cleared her throat, “I thought you were acting the way you were because you were going to propose, and God how different it turned out to be huh?”

I nodded and she squeezed my hand before taking a sip of her wine and clearing her throat, “Wow okay this feels loaded now and I do want to continue talking about it, so why don’t we finish our paintings and once we do, we’ll show each other and continue yes?”, I nodded and reached in to pull her for a kiss, okay maybe two and then we continued painting.

February 14, 2022

London, England. 6:00 PM.

I knew what i wanted to paint since we arrived at the studio, and I was very excited Harry was so onboard with it. As we were painting, and conversation started flowing I realized we still had a lot to discuss but we needed to decompress a little before we could continue talking. I had just finished putting on the finishing touches to my painting when H cleared his throat and let me know he was done too.

I smiled before speaking up, “What if we showed our painting at the same time?”, he nodded and grabbed his canvas before clearing his throat, “On the count of three yes?” I nodded, “One… two… three!”, we both turned our canvases, and we started laughing. Because right in front of our eyes I found that we had both painted something related to the same memory.

Harry had painted the landscape of the hill where the house we stayed during our visit to Sorrento, while I had painted the hill and the ocean because we both knew we weren’t professional, his eyes lit up when he came to the realization and he let out a laugh, “Really? Same memory?”

I nodded and grinned, “Guess we really loved it huh?”, he nodded before reaching for my hand and squeezed it, “It was a very special trip and time baby, it was magic and bliss”, I reached from across the table and pulled him into a kiss before whispering against his lips, “It really was”, he smiled before pulling me into another kiss.

While the painting dried, we started munching on the contents of the basket and continued to talk, I was finishing my panini before he cleared his throat, “Should we… uhm should we continue the conversation we left off?”, I nodded and swallowed before speaking up, “Just promise me, that this won’t cause a fight between us”, he reached in for my hand and kissed it before speaking up, “Uncomfortable topics will make us have a better communication okay?”

I nodded and cleared my throat, “I have trouble understanding why would you buy an engagement ring if you weren’t sure”, he sighed, “I bought the ring a year into our relationship”, my heart stopped, “What?”, he smiled, “Funnily enough, during the Sorrento trip, while you were busy baking and cooking and learning Italian with Giuseppina, I was visiting jewelry stores”

I nodded and he continued talking, “I wanted to propose right then and there, but I knew it would be too soon, so I decided to wait, and wait, a year later we were both in our projects and on top of our careers that I thought 2021 would be a better year to get married, but… yeah”

I chuckled, “We both know what happened”, he nodded, I sniffled and cleared my throat, “If you were so set on us… on us getting married, why Harry? Why break my heart like that?”, he reached in and pulled me in for a hug, where he let me cry for a few moments before he pulled back started caressing my cheek and speaking up.

“Everything was good, yes we had our fights and we made up, we shared our dreams, goals and aspirations, and for the first time, ever, I felt complete peace, I was truly happy, because I had found my better half and yes I know it sounds cheesy but is the truth, you balance out my perfection and I do my best to uplift your confidence, you help me see the good in everything and I help you remember how beautiful and charming and incredible you are”

I smiled while he continued to speak, “It was finally starting to feel real, it was sinking that sooner rather than later I was going to ask my best friend to marry me, that we would start a new chapter of life together, have some babies, and live until we were old together, and as exciting as that was, the realization was also hitting; how could I, a child of divorced parents keep a healthy relationship and marriage together?”

I squeezed his hand before whispering, “You are not your parents H”, he nodded, “I know that now, but at the time I didn’t, and my insecurities got the best of me”, I squeezed his hand, “Baby how long had you been feeling that way?”, he shrugged, “A few months, I was planning to propose on the anniversary of you moving in with me”

I nodded while he continued, “But then filming started, and I formally met Olivia and Chris and met again with Florence and Gemma, and you were here and everything was great, until one day the compliments started flowing, ‘Great job H, better than last time but we will roll it again’, ‘Harry the dancing? Impressive I’m so glad you agreed to it’, and we then moved to ask for my imput on shots, what emotions should we convey”

He sighed, “Then after we came back from our break from the Covid case she seemed even more excited than before to see me, and there were subtle details like a coffee just how I ordered it in my trailer, some lunch a few days and when the cast and crew got together she always made sure I was there for the important discussions and the thoughts and opinions got back to my higher up management which was a win-win”

I bit my lip and nodded a little before he continued, “I guess at the time I was loving getting that attention, and slowly I was expecting those details, because I started to see that this was not because of my acting but for me; I would be a hypocrite if I said that I didn’t love the attention I was getting, and after breaking up I used it as an excuse”

He squeezed my hands, “A few months later I realized that I had confused being needed by someone to being wanted by someone; because unconsciously I needed her attention and her love to heal up the pain I was feeling from our breakup, but truly I wanted all of you, your heart, your best and worst, your thoughts, and above all your love”

I sniffled before speaking up, “I really thought you had feelings for her”, he nodded, “I cared for her, and I was appreciative of her helping me deal with what I was feeling, but I didn’t love her”, I nodded, “You didn’t come for me”, he gave me a sad smile, “I did”, I furrowed my brows, and he ran a hand down my cheek

“I flew to New York after Jeff and Glenne’s wedding, I was determined to get you back, and I remember standing outside your door about to knock until I let my fears get the worst of me, like how on Earth would I explain to you what I was feeling without hurting you even more? And if you did forgive me, how would I be able to make it work? like I said, I realized I didn’t have the best examples; so, I didn’t knock and left”

I gave him a sympathetic look, “Harry…”, he smiled, “I am better, therapy has done wonders and I know I am not them and I am only responsible for my actions and not theirs; and I do get to choose and learn from them”, I nodded and smiled in agreement, “but there is one thing that will never change: the fact that I am choosing you; I am choosing Pippa and I am choosing the life we will build together” I gave me a timid smile and nodded, “I am choosing you and Pippa and our future life too”

February 25, 2022

Harry. London, England. 8:30 PM.

We had finished eating the past we spent all afternoon making, and while Y/N went and settled Pippa for the night I was cleaning up the kitchen and moved to the living room, I could hear some steps behind me before she spoke up, “She went out like a light” I smiled and patted the space next to me in the couch.

She gave me a smile and started cuddling her and kissing her forehead while she sighed in contentment, we pressed play in the movie and ate our sweet treat my mum had left for us. There has bene something on my mind for the last few days and especially since her and Pippa would fly back to the US pretty soon.

That had caused a fight between us, but I understood that it would be the best for Pippa, and in turn I would definitely push to be back soon with them. Once the movie finished, we sat up and stretched she turned to look at me and tapped my nose before asking me “What is on your head baby?”

I smiled, “I have been thinking about a lot of things, but above all about how much we have both grown and above all, how much I love you”, she smiled and squeezed my hand, “I love you too”, after a few seconds in silence before I blurted out, “Be mine”, she sat up straighter, “Sorry?”, I smiled and squeezed her hand, “Will you be my girlfriend?”, she smiled and gave me an apprehensive look.

“Harry, how can I be sure you won't pull a freak out again? Because I must remind you, now it isn't just me but her too”, I nodded and understood where she was coming from, that is why I had something planned, I reached into my jacket and pulled out a box, handed it to her and asked for her to open it, when she did tears were filling the corners of her eyes before she let out a wet chuckle and whispered, “My necklace”

I cleared my throat, “Turn it around”, she furrowed her brows but followed my instruction, a choked sob left her mouth once she did, because the inscription had changed from To a promise of forever to read, To a promise of forever; cross my heart

She grabbed my cheek and pulled me in for a kiss, we pulled back and pressed our foreheads together before I whispered, “I know it’s not promise ring, but I need you to know, I held onto this until last month when I had to send it to add the new engraving”, she pulled back and sniffled before speaking up “What do you mean?”

I smiled, “Had Lamby add a small pocket in my concert and in normal outfits i always had it in my pocket, I couldn't part with it; like I told you last time, I screwed up, but I’m done thinking about the what ifs, I’m not wasting this second chance and as soon as you let me, I’ll marry you and we will think of when's”

She let out a wet chuckle, “You’re so sure I will say yes that you’re thinking about marriage huh?” I laughed and nodded, before she pulled in for a kiss before whispering against my lips, “Yes”, I pulled back and gave her a small smile, “Yes?”, she nodded before kissing me again, when we pulled back, she kissed my cheeks before saying “Let’s write the story of us”

March 4, 2022

Harry. London, England. 12:30 PM.

The tarmac was buzzing with planes getting ready to leave, Harry, Tommy and Jeff were finishing talking with the stewardess about our flight information; we had agreed that Tommy would fly with us and make sure we got home safe.

The last few days here had been spent visiting family, house hunting and above all enjoying the bliss of being able to tell people we were together again; I will always remember the happiness in Anne’s face when we told her, and Gemma was on her way to celebrating a party.

We had to tell my family and our friends back home through the phone, but the excitement was the same. Yesterday we had spent it packing and crying, Harry would be staying here for the next two or three weeks while I would return home and settle back into our routine. We both weren’t so happy about this but knew it was for the best, and that was enough to keep us both going.

The mood had significantly dampened since we left Harry’s house and made our way to the airport, the private terminal was empty which allowed for us to be a little more at ease. I had just hung up with Anne and Gemma and said goodbye again, Pippa was in her stroller sleeping, when she started stirring up a little, I placed her cover over the stroller, and I swayed it a little hoping to help her settle.

As I was putting my phone away, I saw Harry make his way to us, I gave him a smile and he gave me back a very small one, “Hi mister”, he sat down next to me and kissed my temple, “Hi sweetheart, everything is set”, the knot in my belly tightened, we waited for a few minutes before Jeff came to get us before he stopped in front of us and asked us, “Shall we?”

We both nodded, we stood up and Harry grabbed the stroller’s handle, while Jeff grabbed our bags and I grabbed my backpack, security helped us get to the plane and waited until Harry and Jeff were ready to leave, after storing the bags we wouldn’t need for the flight along with the stroller and car seat, Jeff and Tommy let us know they would confirm some things with the crew.

Jeff hugged me and he caressed Pippa’s head before wishing us a safe flight and walking away with Tommy, when I turned to see Harry my heart broke, he was sitting and cuddling Pippa to his chest while tears clouded his eyes, I kneeled in front of him and squeezed his knees, he closed his eyes and sniffled

“Baby…”, he shook his head before sniffling and speaking up, “I know we agreed to do what’s best for her, but that doesn’t mean I’m not devastated”, I kissed his knee before speaking up, “We always knew this would be hard my love, but we will always make things work okay? you’ll be back with us before you know it”, he nodded and then leaned to kiss her forehead multiple times before whispering to her temple.

“Please don’t grow up too fast Pip, daddy won’t be able to handle it”, Pippa let out a squeak which made us laugh, I hadn’t noticed I was crying until I tasted the salt on my lips, “She won’t, but I promise we will talk every single day yes?”, he nodded and then pulled me into a kiss, “I’ll miss you my love”, I smiled, “I’ll miss you too handsome”

He disembarked the plane but not before sending us a kiss, and once the doors closed and the plane started sliding around the tarmac, I started to breastfeed Pippa while whispering to her, “Everything will be okay baby, it’s just you and me for a while, yes? And then daddy will come home, and we will be very happy together”

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liaromancewriter · 2 years ago

Text

Underneath the Tree

Premise: Cassie is in the mood to spread some Christmas cheer and her loved ones are happy to help.

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Cassie Valentine). Feat. Sienna Trinh, OH Gang, Max Valentine (OC) Rating/Category: Teen. Fluff. Warnings: Brief references to minor character deaths and grief Words: 2.8K

A/N: This is for the Nonny who requested a Christmas in July fic. It’s a story that I originally wanted to write last December, but couldn’t find the inspiration to start. Now I did. It’s set during the Book 2 timeline and events referenced in this pic fic.

Cassie Valentine could feel frustration rising as she scanned the selection of trees in the farm outside of Boston proper. They had been here for almost an hour now and she had rejected most of the offerings. Too skinny, too tall, too short, too je ne sais quoi.

This was the Roomies’ first Christmas tree and nothing short of perfection would do. Aurora had borrowed decorations from her aunt; Kyra had sent a box of candy canes; Elijah’s parents had couriered over customized Christmas ornaments, one for each of them.

Now all they needed was a tree to match the vision in her head. She didn’t remember it being this hard before when she and Jack would buy one for their apartment.

“I swear to god, scout,” Max grumbled after she completed another circle of the section that they were in. “If you don’t pick a tree in the next five minutes, I’m leaving you here to make your own way back.”

Cassie shot her twin brother an arched look and then sniffed before turning her back on him and hunching her shoulders.

“Nice try,” he scoffed. “That didn’t work when we were kids, and it doesn’t work now. Just ‘cause you can’t see me doesn’t mean I’m not here.”

Giving him the cold shoulder, she continued to ignore him and walked over to check out a group of six-feet tall Douglas firs in the far corner.

“You know there’s no such thing as a perfect Christmas tree, right?” he continued talking in a whiny tone, determined to annoy her as only a brother could. “They all look the same and are just going to end up in a wood recycling shed at the end of the season, blown to smithereens.”

Cassie’s shocked gasp was as loud as it was dramatic. She swiveled to face him with accusation in her eyes and placed her hands on either side of the nearest tree as if covering a child’s ears.

“Don’t listen to the mean man,” she crooned to the tree. “You’re going to tree heaven where you can play with your friends and eat all the mulch you want.”

Recognizing how ridiculous she looked and sounded, Cassie burst out laughing, hugging the tree. Grinning, Max shook his ahead before he too was bent over with laughter.

“You’re such a jerk,” she said, swallowing her laughter when they started to attract weird looks from the other tree shoppers.

He just smiled, unoffended. “It’s frigging cold, sis. Can you please, pretty please with a cherry on top, pick a tree already so we can get out of here?”

Cassie made a face but didn’t argue. She stared at the tree she’d been hugging, tapping her gloved index finger against her lips, green eyes narrowing in consideration. The longer she looked at it the more she could visualize it in the corner of the living room in their apartment.

“This one,” she said definitively. “Final answer.”

Max went to get the owner and twenty minutes later they had the tree covered in burlap and tied to the top of the SUV. By the time they got back on the highway, Cassie had the volume cranked up and was belting out Christmas songs at the top of her lungs, much to her brother’s dismay.

They got lucky with parking as another vehicle pulled out right in front of her building. They climbed out of the car and Max stepped on to the running board to untie the tree.

“Here, let me help.” Farley walked down the steps, leaving the building entrance propped open. “I’ve been keeping an eye out for you ever since Sienna texted to say you were on your way back.”

With Farley’s help, they managed to get the tree down in no time at all and up the steps of the building. When the elevator doors slid open on their floor, Cassie walked ahead to unlock the apartment door, stepping aside as the men carried the tree inside and set it against the kitchen wall.

“It’s lovely,” said Sienna excitedly, clapping her hands together.

“It’s covered in burlap, Si,” Max snorted, rolling his eyes. “You can’t even tell what it looks like yet.”

Sienna’s brown eyes snapped in annoyance and she very studiously ignored him. Instead, she turned to hand Farley a paper bag and a to-go cup. “Thank you, Farley! You’re the best. If you run out of cookies, I’ll have plenty more later today.”

Farley stammered out a thanks and blushed as he often did when Sienna turned on the charm. Soon, it was just the three of them and Max took the scissors Sienna handed him to cut away the burlap.

“It’s beautiful!” cried Sienna, throwing a defiant, steely-eyed gaze at Max as the full tree came into view.

Cassie agreed and shared a look with Sienna. “And I know just the place for it.”

They directed Max this way and that, changing their minds several times just for the heck of it, both still smarting over his wisecracks earlier. He must have guessed this was their way of getting back at him and wisely kept his mouth shut, doing whatever they asked without complaint until they felt that he’d been punished enough.

“What’d you do to piss off the dolphins, Valentine?” called out Jackie with a smirk. She was leaning against the kitchen counter, a coffee mug in her hand, watching him work.

Before Max could fire back a retort, Elijah wheeled himself into the living room. “Cool tree.”

The doorbell rang then and soon the apartment was full of people and Christmas music was blasting from the Bluetooth speakers on the coffee table. Of the Roomies, Aurora was still missing, but she’d texted to say she was on her way back.

Rafael handed Sienna a tin full of his grandmother’s brigadeiros while Bryce and Keiki set their contribution down on the dining table, a Chocolate Haupia Cream Pie from a Hawaiian bakery they’d discovered in Charlestown.

Cassie lined a platter with the macarons she’d baked yesterday, grabbed two bottles of red wine from the kitchen counter and carried both items to the table.

Max had parked himself on the couch and was scrolling through his phone when Sienna sat down next to him. He looked over as she put a plate of his favorite cookies on the coffee table in front of him and handed him a mug of hot cocoa with extra whipped cream and marshmallows by way of apology.

She felt bad about how she had given him a hard time about the tree when he’d been so generous about getting it for them in the first place.

Cassie knew she hadn’t been fair either and wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind, leaning down to kiss his cheek. “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome,” he smiled at both of them before biting into a cookie and closing his eyes as the flavors exploded on his tongue. “Hmm. Consider yourselves paid in full.”

Soon after, everyone gathered around the tree and planned how they would approach the tree trimming. Bryce and Jackie bickered over whether the tinsel went first or last, each convinced the other was wrong, while Cassie negotiated a compromise.

Raf and Elijah riffled through the motley collection of decorations, putting aside what they could use. Aurora walked in a few minutes later, holding a nondescript box in her hands which turned out to be a mish mash of ornaments and tangled fairy lights.

Sienna was back in the kitchen, showing Keiki how to decorate the sugar cookies she’d baked earlier. Max leaned over the kitchen island to steal cookies, laughing when Sienna slapped his hand away with a severe look. He retaliated by dipping his finger in a bowl of whipped cream and smearing it on the tip of her nose and then her cheeks.

Cassie glanced over when she heard Sienna yelp, a vague disquiet spreading as she observed the quiet intimacy between her brother and her bestie; how they leaned towards each other, teasing and laughing, and the ease with which Sienna smashed a hand full of whipped cream all over his face.

She knew they were friends but for the first time she wondered if that was all.

When Aurora called her over to help with untangling the lights, she put the thought away to revisit later.

The mood in the apartment was loud and cheerful as everyone got into decorating the tree with gusto while munching on cookies and snacks, crumbs falling on the floor to be swept away later along with the debris from the tree trimming.

The tree was almost fully decorated with only the tinsel and lights left when they decided to take a break. They descended on the dining table like conquering heroes, helping themselves to thick sandwiches, pasta salad, chocolate-covered fruits and marshmallows, Santa and reindeer shaped cookies, and other tasty offerings.

Cassie speared the last of the chocolate-covered strawberries off Max’s plate, smirking when he protested, and tried to hide her reaction when Sienna gave him one from her plate. But her twin knew her too well and he glanced over, quirking one eyebrow to ask if she was okay. She nodded and turned away when Keiki asked her if she could try the wine, just to see what it tasted like.

Cassie didn’t see the harm, telling a horrified Bryce it was perfectly acceptable in Europe and should be fine here too. Enthusiastic at first about being treated like a grown-up, Keiki quickly turned her nose in disgust at the smell and almost spit out the sip she’d taken before bravely swallowing it down with a shudder.

“So, I guess I don’t have to worry you’re going to raid the liquor cabinet,” teased Bryce as Keiki chugged down water to get rid of the taste.

“You don’t have a liquor cabinet,” the teenager retorted in that snarky way Cassie found endearing and she gave her a one-armed hug.

Half an hour later, they assembled in front of the tree again. Max reached for his messenger bag and took out a small flat box.

“I brought something for all of you,” he said, flipping the box open to reveal two small red bells with golden stamps, each with a trailing, red ribbon. “To hang on the tree, if you’re open to it.”

Sienna and the others look confused, but Cassie met Max’s gaze, tears gathering in her eyes as she recognized the meaning behind the bells.

“Bells, like the ones in It’s a Wonderful Life? According to the movie, every time a bell rings, an angel gets their wings,” Raf said, taking one out of the box with a wide smile. “That was…” he stopped, sadness shading his face before he swallowed and continued. “Danny loved that movie. I remember he would watch it every holiday season with his family.”

Max nodded. “A friend of mine lost his father a couple of years ago and he told me about a tradition his family started at Christmas,” he said, taking the second bell out of the box and handing it to Sienna. “The idea is to close your eyes and listen to the ringing of the bells; their melody will remind you of all the good memories you have about the person you lost. I thought that you could hang them as ornaments on the tree, and ring them in remembrance of Danny and Bobby whenever you pass by the tree.”

Sienna continued to stare down at the bell in her hand, tears streaming unheeded down her cheeks. Cassie wrapped one arm around her and hugged her close. Eventually, Sienna pulled out of her embrace and resolutely stepped towards the tree. She looped the ribbon at the top of the bell around a branch and shook it lightly so that the twinkling melody of the bells rang out.

She turned towards Max and gave him a watery smile. “Thank you, Max. This was a very thoughtful gesture.”

He nodded solemnly, placing his hand atop hers and giving it a comforting squeeze.

One by one, the friends moved in, locking arms together and bowing their heads in memory of the friends and patients they had lost this year.

Determined to not let the evening end on a sad note, Cassie hip checked Jackie. “Are those tears in your eyes, Varma? Wow. Who knew Fuck It Varma was so sentimental over Christmas?”

Offended at the implication that she was soft, Jackie’s eyes snapped together as she shoved Cassie away. “Bite me, Valentine.”

“Girl on Girl action. Cool!” quipped Bryce making Aurora laugh and Keiki groan in embarrassment.

Suddenly the chirpy melody of “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree” rang out from the speakers and Max sighed dramatically when Cassie jumped in excitement and glanced his way.

“No way, sis.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re on your own.”

She pouted and reached for Sienna’s hand instead, both of them getting into the bouncy rhythm, giggling and laughing the whole time as they crashed into Aurora before pulling her into their impromptu dance routine.

Once again the mood was jovial and merry and they finished decorating the tree with lights and tinsel until all that remained was the star.

They were debating, quite heatedly at times, which of them was tall enough to take on that feat or barring that strong enough to lift one of them when the doorbell rang. Leaving the friends to figure it out, Max went to check who was at door.

“Ethan!” Max stepped aside to let the other man in. “Cassie said you were going to be in Providence today with your dad.”

“I was,” said Ethan, unwrapping the scarf from around his neck before pulling off the thick winter coat as they stood facing each other in the hallway. “I told your sister I’d try to drop by if I could get away early.”

Ethan heard the raised voices and lifted an eyebrow. “Are they having fun or fighting?”

“Honestly, with this lot it seems to be a bit of both,” confessed Max with a grin.

Cassie stopped mid-sentence as soon as Ethan walked into view and then she was rushing towards him to launch herself into his arms, inhaling his unique scent. “Hi, you made it!”

He nodded and leaned down to brush his lips across hers. “You said it was important to you, right?”

“Yes, it was,” she smiled. “Your timing is impeccable as always, Dr. Ramsey. We need a really tall man.” She leaned back in his embrace, running her eyes over his body. “And I would say you qualify.”

Taking his hand, she led him back to the group who, well used to him being in Cassie’s life by now, nodded and called out greetings. Cassie handed him a red and gold star and when he looked at the glittery object in confusion, Sienna took pity on him.

“It goes at the top of the tree,” she pointed to where the ornament went.

Following her direction, Ethan stepped forward, trying not to upset the various ornaments hanging off branches, and raised his arm to place the star at the top of the tree.

“Amazing. He didn’t even have to stretch on his toes,” Bryce mused, clapping Ethan on the back, a bit too hard so that he almost fell into tree. Luckily Max pulled him back in time, otherwise Ethan would have likely faced some very angry residents.

“Let’s light this baby up,” exclaimed Cassie, clapping her hands together when Elijah flipped the switch for the fairy lights.

Everyone gazed up at the beautifully, and whimsically, decorated tree brightening up the apartment with holiday cheer. Phones came out to capture this memory, but otherwise they basked in the glow of the lights and each other’s company.

Bryce hugged Keiki to his side while Rafael placed one hand on his shoulder in solidarity. Aurora, Elijah and Jackie held hands, connected as one unit.

Cassie leaned back against Ethan and he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, kissing the side of her head before resting his chin on top of her sunny, blonde hair.

Sienna looped her arm through Max’s and they exchanged soft smiles. She mouthed ‘thank you’ and he nodded in acknowledgment. She leaned her head against his upper arm and watched the flickering lights as the bells twinkled lightly in the distance.

Cassie looked around the room at everyone she loved contentment such as she hadn’t felt in weeks rose to the surface. Despite everything that had happened this year, they were going to be okay. She was going to be okay. She had friends, she had family. She was blessed.

All Fics & Edits: @potionsprefect @trappedinfanfiction @bex-la-get @mysticalgalaxysstuff @genevievemd @choicesaddict5 @jerzwriter @rookiemartin @schnitzelbutterfingers @vi-writes-stuff @coffeeheartaddict2 @quixoticdreamer16 @dorisz @zahrachoices @lucy-268 @a-crepusculo @jamespotterthefirst @ofmischiefandmedicine @headoverheelsforramsey @takemyopenheart @gryffindordaughterofathena @queencarb @crazy-loca-blog @natureblooms24

Ethan & Cassie only: @custaroonie @lady-calypso

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

#ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #sienna trinh #bryce lahela #jackie varma #open heart #open heart choices #playchoices #playchoices fanfics #open heart fanfics #open heart fanfiction #choices fic writers creations #cfwc fics of the week #ethan ramsey x cassie valentine #sienna trinh x max valentine #christmas in july

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sio-writes · 3 years ago

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A Botanist’s Guide - Chapter 1

Summary: Cassandra Rowland, PhD, finally has the chance to work on an experiment that really matters: growing Earth crops on another planet. Too many overdue reports and marked failures have put her in hot water with the board, and this is her last chance at redemption. So when she finds herself railroaded by a seven foot tall, glowing alien named Kri, it won't be as easy as sticking some seeds in the soil and running them under the tap. Tack on the looming repossession of her lab contingent on her success in Kri's reports, and Cassie realizes she may have her work cut out for her.

Cassie

My leg is jiggling so violently it’s shaking the flimsy plastic chair I’m sitting in. I had picked a low spot on the floor to glare at for the past half hour, and I'm surprised there isn't a hole burnt into the carpet yet. My jaw hurts from how tightly I've been clenching and unclenching the muscles, and time creeps by so slowly I have to constantly check my watch to make sure it hasn’t stopped. I’d be anxious if I didn’t know exactly what this little meeting is about. Well, I am anxious, but I could be more anxious.

I’ve been summoned into the Admin building for a meeting with Diana Masons, overseer of all scientific divisions of Outpost 3 and Certified Kicker of Asses. She's got a good three inches on me, and the build of an Olympic wrestler. Her ability to burn a hole through sheet metal with her gaze only ties a neat little bow on top of her terrifying head. Diana has been my friend since landing day, but that’s outside of work. She steps foot into this building and it’s all business, and boy howdy is she scary.

The Admin Building is a five story stick of concrete that takes up two whole blocks in Outpost 3, and I’m sitting on the third floor waiting to be called in. I feel like a delinquent student summoned to the principal’s office.

To my front are rows and rows of manilla-colored cubicles, full of accountants typing away. Their combined noise would make for pleasant background static, but I just know they’re taking more funding away from my division. They have no time to waste on frivolous matters like Knowledge and the Combined Growth of Humanity. Plus the whole floor smells like cheese.

Maybe I’m just bitter. I definitely don’t want to be here in this stuffy office. I’d much rather be outside with the plants. Ferns don’t ask you hard questions like “Why wasn’t this delivered on time?” Or “You need how much more money?” I could just water them and they’d uncurl their leaves as if to say “Thank you so much Cassie. We love you!” And that’d be it. Easy-peasy.

Yet the more time I spend in the greenhouse, the more trouble I seem to get in. Like turning in reports late. Six weeks late.

The door next to me swings open and a man in a navy blue suit steps out, not giving me a second glance before he’s off to the elevators.

“Dr. Rowland,” comes Diana’s voice from inside. Oh she’s using her Scary Commander voice, the one she uses to talk to new recruits and people in trouble. Namely, me.

Should I reject my fate and run? Do I go for broke and just walk out the door? Or should I book it straight through her office and bust out the window? That’s a bad idea, Diana would come after me. Besides, the glass is bulletproof.

I stand up, and trudge into the Room of Doom.

Diana’s office is covered floor to ceiling with pictures, all of various recruits and scientists as they landed on Summanus. My picture is somewhere on the East wall, right at eye-level. At the end of the day, Diana really cares for all of us here with her whole heart. It just unfortunately includes reaming us from time to time.

Diana sits at her desk, a picture of management perfection, typing away on her computer and completely ignoring me. Her dark hair is pulled into a low bun at the nape of her tanned neck, looking like she took glue to it so not a single strand was out of place. She’s wearing the company standard jumpsuit in dark navy.

I sit down in the chair across from her. "Is this about 325–A?” Even when I’m 99% positive, I never have full confidence until it’s confirmed.

Diana nods. “And 614–G, and 298--Y , and—“

“I get it. I’m slow.”

“And over-budget by,” she pauses to click on her computer a few times. “23 percent. What’s the issue Rowland?”

“Maybe if I had more assistants—“

“Assistants aren’t the problem here, this is all on you.”

Anger rises in me like the tide coming in. I’m not a child, I’m not an undergrad, I’m a respected scientist on an alien planet who does damn good work. It’s just...not always on time.

Some of my assignments have been so massive I went into double overtime just to meet the Benchmarks. But the people assigning them don’t care about me, they just want timely, cost-effective results. Usually, Diana is sympathetic to my plight, but not today it seems.

Diana turns back to her computer and types a few more things while I seethe. She takes a long, annoying sip of her coffee and I want to smack it out of her hand.

“You’re being audited,” she says simply, like it isn’t the heart-stopping news I’d been dreading since I got her email to come in this morning.

I practically jump out of my chair. “What?!”

The last thing I need is some high brow accountant breathing down my neck, passing judgment on how I do my job.

“Technically it’s a Formal Review,” she continues, like that makes any difference. “We need some accountability from you, and this is the way to do it. It wasn’t my decision.”

“But—“

“Dr. Rowland,” she interjects. “Please try to understand. We’re aware that what you do is very important work, but concerning the schedule and budget...”

I throw my arms up. “I can’t control how fast the plants grow!”

Her neutral expression turns to one of modest sympathy. “I understand that, but like I said, this wasn’t my decision.” She hands me a paper off her printer and taps the bottom with one long, manicured nail. “I’m sorry to do this to you Cass, but if this next experiment fails,” she pauses, looking away from me. “Your lab will be repossessed.”

My stomach drops to the floor.

I snatch the paper back and skim over it. Yep, right there at the bottom. Should Cassandra Rowland fail to deliver on all Milestones, control of laboratory space shall be relinquished to high command, effective immediately after Formal Review.

My blood runs cold, the paper crumpling from the force of my grip. They’re going to take my lab away from me. I’d had it for barely a year.

My head swirls, the room tilts, and I can feel my breathing pick up from the force of it all. A formal review, an audit. I know my stuff is late a lot of the time, but so are plenty of other people’s! I’m far from the only scientist to deliver things tardy.

My brain goes back to the Formal Review and I crumple the paper in my hands. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

She cocks an eyebrow. “Apparently you do.”

I plant my hands on my hips, switching tactics. “This was Stephen’s idea, wasn’t it? He’s been trying to get me sent back to Earth for two years.”

“One review will not get you sent Earth-side, I promise.”

“But it gets my lab taken away! And if this goes tits up—which it will—whatever pencil-neck accountant they send—“

“Actually, your shadow is a scientist.”

“That’s even worse! We all suck!”

Diana’s facade of the perfect commander cracks as she rolls her eyes. “Cass, work with me here.”

Like the mature adult I am, I cross my arms and pout. “This isn’t fair. I can’t control the plants.”

To my credit, the past two experiments were technically successes, they just took an extra two weeks to germinate, well past my initial assessment and what would have happened on Earth. I was happy we got anything to break the soil at all. But these guys in the corporate office were all about results, and science didn’t always deliver on time.

Diana pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs. After coming to some sort of conclusion, she pushes her glasses up and levels me with a hard stare, not quite a glare, but close. She uses her Scary Commander voice again to say, “Suck it up, and stop acting like a child.”

In the face of her stern persona, my resolve crumbles. “Fine.”

She straightens in her chair. "Good, glad we have that settled."

I huff a breath through my nose instead of responding, staring off to the side. My focus lands on one of the hundreds of pictures on the wall, a short trainee overshadowed by Diana's tall and imposing frame. They're both smiling at the camera, and I wish I'd ever felt that happy in this office.

***

“So how’d it go?” My lab assistant, Jillian, skirts up next to me as I exit Diana’s office.

I sigh for what feels like the millionth time. “We get a babysitter, but not one of these guys,” I gesture around to the cubicles we pass on the way to the elevator. “It’ll be internal.” Diana had told me the review would last until the end Experiment 271.8-A, over a year, because the universe loves to see me suffer.

I slam the elevator button for the ground floor and tap my foot like my mom used to do whenever I’d come home with a bad grade.

Diana had given me a cursory glance at the file of my new babysitter--I refuse to call them anything else-- before slamming it closed. No picture, but I got a name, Khri'asxu. They were a botanist like me, and from the long list of successful experiments they've headed I know I'm in for a hell of a ride.

I relay the details of the meeting and information to Jillian, each of my sentences making her eyebrows crawl closer to her hairline.

“Whoever this babysitter is has the equivalent of, like, three doctorates, so this is gonna be fun,” I say with a sour face. The name suggests they’re Summanian, a native of the planet Summanus. More commonly known as entos because of their insect-like appearance, they're a species that values hard work and logic. So I’m in for a world of boring lectures and condescension. Yippie.

Jillian looks at me with wide eyes, “Wait, they’re coming today?”

“Nothing you do reflects on me,” I say, a little too curt, but I’m not in the mood. I think of the biohazard that is Jillie’s desk, covered in half-empty cans of energy drink and Miracle-Gro that I never had reason to make her clean.

We walk out of the building, and Jillie stays quiet next to me. I can tell she has questions knocking around in her head, but my Murder Walk down the courtyard and across the street to the bus terminal probably acts as a deterrent.

I knew this review was coming: three past due, over-budget reports saw fit to that. But it didn’t mean I had to like it. I hated the idea of being watched all day every day for the next year. The arguments that could unfold, the condescension, the undermining, I could see it all now. I have enough trouble navigating the politics of Outpost 3 as a woman in a “soft” science, this was just going to add to the pile of shit I deal with on a daily basis. Whatever this other scientist has in mind for my experiment, I’m going to steamroll every decision they make. I’m not here to play games, I’m here for results, damn it. And this experiment is my baby.

Experiment 271.8-A that I'd nicknamed Project EVA is humanity's first attempt to grow Earth crops in Summanus soil. A year and a half of pitching it to the board before it was approved, and it's all mine. Importing crops from Earth takes a lot of time and is very expensive, so the outpost (and every company that sponsors it) could save a lot of money is this is a success.

The smooth bus ride serves to cool me down slightly, to the point where I’m less snappy and more jumpy with nerves. My leg won’t stop shaking, my hands continually clench and unclench on my thigh. We need to stop by the lab before going to the communal greenhouse, and no doubt that reviewer is going to be there. The paper notice is crumpled in my hand.

A long walk and we make it to the lab. I open the door and my stomach jumps. They’re already here, currently rooting through my desk. It's weird seeing a creature so large bent down over such a low surface.

I quickly set my box of supplies down and stomp up to meet them.

“What the hell are you doing?!”

The ento pauses, half-way through picking up a stack of papers, and finally looks at me. This one possesses a coloring I haven’t seen before, dark blue shot through with streaks of gray and flecks of purple, and the pale gray portions are equal on either side like vitiligo. Ento are covered in chitinous plating with glimpses of dark skin beneath, they have large digitigrade legs and two sets of arms, and large, insect-like wings that allow for flight.

“I am your auditor,” they say in a deep voice with a hint of an accent.

“Yes I gathered that,” I hiss. “With all due respect, get out of my desk.”

They straighten up, so tall their antennae nearly touches the ceiling. At an average height of seven feet most ento tower over us.

They offer a standard greeting, a bow with both arms outstretched, and I’m tempted to refuse it just for the insult it brings. But I don't want this one to potentially punch me in the chest so I return it.

“I am Khri’asxu. Kri will suffice,” they say. “I am male. And your desk was—is—atrocious,” Kri enunciates each word like he’s talking to a toddler, then gestures to all the things he had set out like that explains it. I grit my teeth. Most ento cultures operate under non-gendered language, but after meeting us they've started to pick up it.

“That doesn't give you the right to--"

"It is in our best interests for your workspace to remain tidy."

I wish I had a box or something to stand on so I could glare directly into his beady little eyes. "Have you ever seen another scientist's desk before?"

Kri folds his upper arms over his chest, a very humanlike gesture. “I am not reviewing other scientists, Dr. Rowland. I’m reviewing you. And I will take note of your indiscretion.”

I balk, my blood at full boil. “Indiscretion—!”

“Your refusal to keep a tidy work area,” Kri says, writing something on his clipboard. I step forward, fully intending to snatch the damned thing out of his hand, and he steps back out of my reach, holding it up. I reach for it again, but with his arms nearly hitting the ceiling, I have no chance. But I’m not going to let this alien boss me around.

"Give it here you--"

Jillie steps between us, hands placating. “O-kay that’s enough of that!”

Kri is so tall his glare at me literally goes over Jillie's head. Ento don't have much range of expressions, only really able to narrow or widen their eyes, leaving most non-verbal communication to their body language.

Jillie turns to me, a dangerous glint in her eyes. “Cassie, what was first on the list today?”

My blood is still boiling, every brain cell is geared towards an argument. If I back down now, he'll see me as weak and write that in his stupid report. I can’t afford to look weak in front of him.

Jillie makes eye contact with me and gives me a meaningful look, and my anger flags. We have a lot to do today, and this is just delaying my progress. She's right, I need to focus. I breathe heavily through my nose, taking a few steps back. This isn't the military, but it won't look good if I get written up for insubordination.

As I pull the small folded piece of paper out of my pocket, shame wells up like a balloon filling with helium. I shouldn't be arguing with a brick wall of an alien, I shouldn't be arguing at all. I need to be running my experiments, getting results so I don't lose my lab. I need to get this done. I need to--

Focus Cassie. Paper.

I look down. First on the list: Samples

I walk past Kri, ignoring the mess on my desk despite the bubbles of anxiety that well up in my chest. My fingers itch to reorganize it. I knew where everything was, where everything needed to be. Everything was perfectly placed where I needed to reach it, and now it was all messed up.

“We need to set up samples,” I say instead. “Jillie, can you do—what could you possibly be writing down now?”

Kri doesn’t stop writing as he casually replies, “It’s a conflict of interest for me to inform you of my report.”

A muscle in my eye twitches.

Chapter 2 >>

#my writing #A Botanist's Guide #monster writing #original writing #alien writing #Exophilia #Fantasci

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