#(might have been more than 2 drinks)
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me after Like. 2 drinks: Okay so like look the thing about Luke Skywalker, No Wait Come Back. The thing about Luke Skywalker. Is he was born to be a stunt pilot, part time Han Solo enabler and full time flirt post OT. Its what he deserves! Its what he would be good at!
But however. Since we live in the bad timeline, where instead he felt morally obligated to take up the legacy/atone for the sins of (The Jedi /Darth Vader respectively), people he didn't know anything about and frankly didn't owe a god damn thing to... yeah I mean. I can totally see All Of That* Happening. That follows logically.
#born to be the fun uncle forced to be the stoic mentor figure. Sad.#*The sequel trilogy (not you tros) and also whichever season of star wars television he fumbles the baby#i'll keep all my star wars feelings right here in my heart and then one day i'll die#star wars for ts#(might have been more than 2 drinks)
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I always get so angry but then I play video games and I'm no longer so angry
This is a problem when it comes to wanting to leave my shit ass job
#speculation nation#i was absolutely ranting with my coworker about this shit#if either of us leave we're both going. straight up.#boss was threatening to fire them and im like. if he does? im quitting on the fucking spot.#i dont have a job lined up yet but im gonna start seriously looking#and if it comes down to it i dont think itll take too long for me to find Something. not with my qualifications.#might not be the best paying job right away but so long as i have Something & it doesnt make me utterly miserable#itd still be better than this fucking shithole.#i used to love this place but everything has soured because of him.#ive toughed it out for Far too fucking long. and ive finally reached the end of my Fucking Rope.#8 years total of my life ive given to this store. but no more.#it's not a matter of 'if'. it's a matter of 'when'.#and once we leave at least 2 of the other seasoned employees will be leaving.#4 out of 6 of the fully trained drink makers. gone.#and the other 2 are leaving at the end of this semester Anyways.#so what are ya gonna do Boss Man? if our labor has really been that worthless to you then surely this will be no big deal!#right? right? right? from how youve treated us it's clear! it's clear you take us for granted and dont give a shit about us as people.#so youre gonna get a rude fucking awakening Very soon. have fun cleaning up the wreckage of your mockery of our lives.#anyways hi yeah shit's about to blow up at work and im jumping ship as soon as i can make it work#i also got caught in freezing rain and had to walk home (took an hour of walking when itd usually take 25 mins!) bc i Could Not Bike#may or may not have to go into work tomorrow and if i do i may just take a hammer to those fucking windows [joke][this is a joke]#its gonna ice all night and i voiced these legitimate concerns for my safety and got told#'well we'll follow what the city standards are' or whatever the fuck. and got told to take the bus.#WELL COME ON SHITSTAIN I STILL HAVE TO WALK TO THE BUS STOP NOW DONT I??????#plus i just dont like the idea of going out rn at all. it's so dangerous. im for serious Everything is ice.#even on a salted road my bike still slid out from under me. i Had to walk it home#walking very very carefully with very ginger steps. lord help me on any inclines bc gravity was pushing me Down.#it was awful. one of the worst commutes of my life. and this fucker has the audacity to tell me to just Take The Bus?#hes getting on my last Fucking nerves. oh yeah and him completely dismissing my coworker's concerns about passive aggression#ran out of tags (lmfao) so ill stop ranting here. but just. i am so Fucking done with him.
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today 2 years ago i was in america and i had the worst hangover of my life and i was in a waffle house with my friend in awkward silence bc we’d fought in a stranger’s kitchen the night before and the server refilled my water for the 5th time while i fought to swallow half a forkful of hashbrowns and she said “i know that look, y’all had a good time at the superbowl last night” and i was thinking actually we had a mediocre time at a nerd bar where u throw darts and all the drinks r named weird things and anyway my friend gives the fakest laugh ive ever heard followed by “yep we sure did” like are we in a CW show right now what was that line delivery and also what even is the superbowl i was born here and should know but honestly i’ve always just pictured everyone gathering at a comically large bowl of cereal but her nametag says leslie and she’s really nice and she’s refilling my water for the 6th time so yeah sure whatever i’m a red blooded american i’ll be anything for leslie in this moment and she tells us stories about working at bars downtown and my friend tells me bad jokes and i feel a little better even though my heart is kind of withering away because my flight is in 17 hours and theres not enough time never enough time i won’t see him for another year and a half and i won’t ever see leslie again and if i ever run into the italian stranger who fell in love with me over darts then it won’t be the same because we won’t be dancing and i’m sitting in a waffle house while the sun sets and i’m sweating gin and tequila and my flight is in 16 hours and i have so many goodbyes to say in this
city because when i was fifteen somebody threw my glass heart onto the floor of my childhood house and bits of it shattered everywhere and fell into the cracks of the floorboards and behind the fridge and i’ll never ever get them out much less back together but i feel like ive been trying for eight years all the same and my flight is in 15 hours but maybe if my friend brings me home now i can spend three of those looking for more shards even though i’ll cut my hand because time never wore down any of the hurt because time might heal wounds but it cant really do jack shit about a metaphysical glass shard its still gonna make me bleed and my friend brings me home and we curl up beside each other in my childhood bedroom thats too small for us it was really a supply room but it became my bedroom when i was eleven and i painted it blue and put up stickers of fish and never took them down but someone someday will take them down and hopefully the house burns to the ground before anyone can touch them theyre mine i grew up here theyre mine dont touch them dont please dont please please please i grew up here and my flight is in 12 hours now because i fell asleep beside my friend and he let me because he knew i needed it he kept watch even though we dont have time we never do because he has to go now and all i can give him is a hug and my hoodie to keep safe until i can see him again and fight him in a stranger’s kitchen again and the sun is gone now and i go and i sit with my dad and my flight is in 10 hours and im trying
not to cry im trying to stare at the stickers because maybe if i look at all of it hard enough i’ll get to stay but i dont because thats not how it works and now my flight is in 4 hours because i fell asleep in my childhood loft bed and now i have to leave i have to pack up and go for the fifth time and it never never gets easier and i know i only have a few more trips left until someone takes my stickers down and paints over my ocean but for now my best friend’s stepmother comes with me and my dad to the airport because my best friend is in college two states away and my flight is in 3 hours and i cry i cry so much and she cries too because she loves me and i think it is such a beautiful blessed thing that i am so loved but oh it is so painful too because i spend more time in its absence than its presence and my flight is in 2 hours and i have to go and my dad is waving goodbye and i see it because i looked back because im stupid i always look back i never look forward i’m forever walking blind through my life because i’m looking back and i can tell my dad is crying and now i have to go through TSA sobbing and it’s awkward because they ask are you okay kid and im not but i cant tell them sorry its just that when i was fifteen somebody threw my glass heart onto the floor of my childhood house and bits of it shattered everywhere and fell into the cracks of the floorboards and behind the fridge and i’ll never ever get them out i cant tell them that so i nod yes im okay and i go and my flight is in 1 hour and i hope it fucking crashes and my flight is in the air and im so far away from all those shards on the kitchen floor now but they’re hurting me all the same and i think i look kind of insane sobbing in the middle seat but how can i miss so many people and so many rooms at once and not lose my mind a little bit? i was going to tell you a short witty little joke about the time i realized i was 21 and didnt know what the superbowl was but i think i slipped on a shard. i’m sorry. maybe next time i’ll get it right. maybe in another two years. maybe you’ll never see me again. maybe this is all the time we had.
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I've always had chronic fatigue. I remember being twelve, and an adult mentioned how I couldn't possibly know how tired they felt because adulthood brought levels of exhaustion I couldn't imagine. I thought about that for days in fear, because I couldn't remember the last time I didn't feel tired.
Eventually I came to terms with the fact that I was just tired, and I couldn't do as many things as everyone else. People called me lazy, and I knew that wasn't true, but there's only so many times you can say "I'm tired" before people think it's an excuse. I don't blame them. When a teenager does 20 hours of extracurriculars every week and only says "I'm too tired" when you ask them to do the dishes, it's natural to think it's an excuse. At some point, I started to think the same thing.
It didn't matter that I could barely sit up. It was probably all in my head, and if I really wanted to, I could do it.
When I learned the name for it, chronic fatigue, I thought wow, people that have that must be miserable, because I am always tired and I cannot imagine what it would feel like if it were worse.
Spoiler alert, if you've been tired for a decade, it's probably chronic fatigue.
Once I figured that out though, I thought of my energy as the same as everyone else's, just smaller in quantity. And that might be true for some people, but I've figured out recently that it absolutely isn't true for me.
I used to be like wow I have so much energy today I can do this whole list for sure! And then I'd do the dishes and have to lay down for 2 hours. Then I'd think I must gave misjudged that, I didn't have as much energy as I thought.
But the thing is - I did have enough energy for more tasks, I just didn't go about them properly.
With chronic fatigue, your maximum energy is obviously much smaller than the average person's. Doing the dishes for you might use up the same percentage of energy that it takes to do all the daily chores for someone else.
If someone without chronic fatigue was to do all the daily chores, they would take breaks. Because otherwise, they're sprinting a marathon for no reason and it would take way more energy than necessary. We have to do the same.
Put the cups in the dishwasher, take a break. Put the bowls in, take a break. So on and so forth. This may mean taking breaks every 2-5 minutes but afterwards, you get to not feel like you've run a marathon while carrying 4 people on your back.
Today, I had a moderate amount of energy. Under my old system of go till you drop, I probably could have done most of the dishes and wiped off the counter and then been dead to the world for the rest of the day.
Under the new system, I scooped litter boxes, cleaned out the fridge, took the trash out, cleaned the stove, and wiped off the counter and did all the dishes. And after all that, I still had it in me to make a simple dinner, unload the dishwasher, and tidy the kitchen.
It was complete and utter insanity. Just because I sat down whenever I felt myself getting more tired than I already was.
All this to say, take fucking breaks. It's time to unlearn the ceaseless productivity bullshit that capitalism has shoved down our throats. Its actively counterproductive. Just sit down. Drink some water. Rest your body when it needs to rest.
There will still be days where there is nothing to do but rest, and days where half a load of dishes is absolutely the most I can do. But this method has really helped me minimize those, which is so incredibly relieving.
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There is a nonzero chance that I have COVID.
Yayyyyyyyy.
Let's hope it's just a cold...
#but we know that at least one person in my cast has covid#and i hugged him last night and talked to him a lot post-show with my mask off#i mask during the show but since we were eating and drinking i didn't at that time#sooooooo we shall see we shall see. thank god backstage i'm not as much around the cast as they are with each other.#other people in the cast have colds though. but most have not tested for covid. and honestly more might have covid.#is it bad i'm putting off testing too...#i almost don't want to know if i do... or at least... i don't want to know for the next 12 hours...#if i DO have it then it'll be an easier time than last time when i started developing symptoms on my way home from hawaii#and that was like 18 hours straight of traveling and due to the time difference i arrived home almost exactly a day later.#and over the course of those 18 hours (because literally my throat started feeling itchy at the start of the first of 3 plane rides)#i felt sicker and sicker and sicker. and in the uber home i was like i wanna die. but didn't sleep#because when i got home it was like 10am so i didn't want to totally mess up my sleep schedule so i stayed up most of the day#(i think i did nap at one point) and by midnight when i went to bed i was like oh i'm definitely sick with something#and at 4am when i was woken by a stupid tornado warning i realized i had been sweating in my sleep and likely had a fever#and woke up the next day at 11-ish finding out someone from the hawaii wedding had covid so i should test too#and my brother said the moment my swab hit the activator/indicator/whatever it was a solid positive line. yayyyy.#that was about 48-ish total hours between first symptoms and testing positive.#so. IF i have covid. i might not even test positive right now since i've only felt this sickness in my chest for like 5 hours.#at this point i'd be landing from the first plane and having a layover. and convincing myself it was just the dry airplane air.#i'd still have 2 red eye flights ahead of me to be miserable on while the symptoms progressed.#so i can definitely handle sleeping tonight and running a show tomorrow morning and then see how i feel.#also this might be psychological since i didn't really start feeling sick until AFTER i found out about the sick cast member.#that's a very very real possibility since i got so paranoid when i first heard he was sick and missing the show.
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apt for two



pairing: san x reader
cw: smut (18+), drunk!san with needy-desperate vibes (as always), afab!reader, friends-to-lovers, praise kink, mommy kink, handjob, nipple play (m!recieving), breeding kink, unprotected piv, eternal boner (you'll find out), mention of asian glow, san's fancam, not beta-read, etc.
wc: 4k (wow)
note: I WAS SUPPOSED TO FINISH LIKE THREE 1/4 DONE FICS BUT INSTEAD IM DOING THIS :) also i get asian glow too, so i love the representation i'm getting with drunk-teez!
1 shot
tonight was supposed to involve a pregame at your place before bar-hopping, but somebody decided to ditch you and turn in early (wooyoung). of course, it wasn't until 9:30 that you got the text.
you'd been waiting so patiently, only having one drink. you were saving the rest to share with your friends once he arrived. it was supposed to be the three of you, but now it's just--
2 shots
"maybe he's just tired because of work or something?"
san is sweet, trying to lighten your disappointment.
he just took his second shot, barely wincing as he swallows it quickly before gently setting the glass back on the counter -- you can tell he's trying to hide his distaste for the liquor.
"he's just hungover because he decided to go out without us last night, sannie..." you drone, "he's probably sleeping off the club."
"hm, you're probably right. but if he were here, it probably wouldn't be that fun if he's hungover."
"that's true..."
you pour another round of shots.
3 shots
"hey, let's play a game." san looks at you with bright eyes.
you can see it already -- the flush spreading across his cheeks. for such a big guy, he sure get tipsy easily.
"what kind of game? there's only the two of us."
"how about...apateu?"
"with two people?" he nods with a cute little smile. how could you deny him? "sure, if you want"
5 shots (for san)
you bite back an adoring smile as you watch san down a second shot. his expressions are a lot freer now, letting himself wince just from the smell of tequila, followed by a grossed-out groan after he takes it.
"okay, maybe we should stop. you've lost twice already." he's not very good at this game -- even when you let him pick the number for each turn.
"no, no, let's go again!" his eyes are glazed over, lids heavy from the liquor as he tries to convince you to continue.
you let a smile crack as you watch him sway prettily in front of you, "...you seem a lot more drunk than me though."
"hm?" he smiles back, "that's okay? right?"
you can't help but laugh at his adorableness. he picks up your shot glass and nudges it closer to you.
"just take one, so we're even."
it might just be the liquor, or that pretty blush on his face, but you're feeling bold.
"mm, but you had two, baby."
you say it so casually, yet he reacts to that word immediately. his expression is quickly replaced with something needy.
oh, so he liked that....
"t-then take two." he suggests with a stutter.
you pour yourself one more, right to the brim, and he watches on in awe. you drink it easily, enjoying the way san's eyes stare at your lips as you lick them clean.
"i don't think we're gonna make it to the bars tonight." you tease.
his small shy smile returns, "just stay here...with me, then."
5 shots + a glass of water (for san)
you guide san to the couch with a glass of water in your hand.
barely a few steps from the kitchen counter, he makes you stop for a moment so he can clumsily lace his fingers with yours.
"it's more secure" he murmurs shyly.
you don't say anything as you continue to lead him into the living room, but when you turn away you're biting your lip to stop yourself from pouncing on him.
you're afraid that your cuteness aggression will scare him away.
he immediately picks up a pillow to snuggle against his chest as he sits down. always needing something in his lap...
he looks up at you, all pink cheeks and smiles, as you set the glass of water down on the coffee table in front of him.
you sit down next to him and settle against the plush seat with a sigh.
"what now?" he asks eager and curious.
eager for what?
"well, first, drink some water," san obediently takes a few sips of water as you continue to speak, "do you want to watch a movie or something?"
you were planning on letting him crash on the couch, but how could you leave him when he's looking at you like that?
"hm..." he puts the glass down before looking back at you with a shy expression, "can we watch something else?"
"like what?"
"can i show you some of my fancams?"
"...fancams...?"
"yeah, i want to show you how i look in concert."
you almost giggle from how shy he's being. isn't tequila supposed to make you bolder?
"sannie, i've been to your concerts."
he pouts -- actually pouts, "but you haven't seen them like this!"
how could you deny him?
"ok, ok, let's have a look then."
you try to give him the remote to look it up, but he immediately struggles to type with it -- even turning off the tv at some point -- so you have to take over.
"so it's...'san fancam--'" you press in each letter individually.
"'--ice on my teeth 241115'" he finishes for you.
"...1...5..."
you finally type it all in and click on the video. you see woo (the ditcher of the night, you remind yourself) crouching in front of a sleekly dressed san, who looks very different from the soft and cuddly man next to you.
"how do you remember all of the numbers for the title?" you question as you finally relax back onto the couch.
he shrugs, "i dunno, i just do -- wait, start it over, we were talking during the start!"
"san, it's been like, two seconds."
"please??"
you start it over to placate him.
as you watch the video, you notice how quiet he is next to you.
he must be really into his own fancams...
you get it though. you've never watched his fancams before (you've only seen woo's because he forces you to binge them with him whenever you facetime), but he looks really good in that long coat, glasses, and with his hair slicked back like that, hitting every note with that stupidly handsome look on his face.
he looks so serious...so domineering. delectable.
so...not how you usually see him.
you turn to look at him, wondering if he's just as entranced by himself as you are -- but he's already looking at you.
you feel your cheeks heat up as you're caught ogling your friend, right in front of him.
"so...? do you like it?"
"yeah, it was a good performance, san."
"sannie." he corrects, "do you really like it, or are you just saying that?"
"no, i really like it--"
"which part? do you like the outfit? a lot of people say they like that outfit on me the most. but there's also one where i have on a see-through top..." he starts to ramble.
oh, now you know what he's looking for.
your voice is soft as you coo to him, "you looked great up there, sannie. so talented...and handsome." he smiles sheepishly as you compliment him, "did you show this to me because you wanted to show off? show me how good you are in front of a crowd?"
now he's shy.
"just wanted to know if you liked what you see."
you cradle his face with your hand, "you're so cute, baby," he melts against your touch, nuzzling his warm cheek against you, "just want some praise, hm?"
it's crazy that you have this man falling apart for you with a few words and a bare touch of your hand.
on stage, he looks so regal and put together.
right here? he looks undeniably soft and malleable.
"do you like me?"
"of course, i do." you caress his cheek with your thumb, enjoying the heat that radiates off his skin, "you're a sweetheart."
"no, like, do you like-like me?" his eyes meet yours, wide with hope and yearning.
"what, are we in middle school?" you tease.
he whines softly, "im serious"
you ignore his question and throw it back at him.
"do you like me?"
he's hesitant, timid, but eventually --
"mhm."
"oh really? since when?"
"since forever."
"why didn't you tell me?"
"because..." san briefly looks away, "because i don't know if you like me"
your hand drifts from his jaw to his chin. you can't help but admire his perfect features -- his fluffy hair, dark brows, intense eyes, cute nose, and...his lips.
you carefully glide your thumb over his pretty bottom lip, enamored by how pretty and pink it is.
he stutters out a breath.
"and if i do?"
"c-can you kiss me?" he sounds so sweet and timid when he asks. his eyes eagerly glance down at your lips as you drag his bottom lip down, revealing his pearly white teeth.
you're mesmerized by his mouth. you press against his perfect teeth and he opens up immediately, letting you drag your thumb against his soft tongue. he sucks it in, laving sweetly against the sensitive pad of your finger as he stares up at you, eager to please.
"such a good boy~"
he whines, brows furrowing in desperate need. what a sweet sound.
you move your hand from his mouth so you can get in a better position. you shift from the couch to his lap, wanting to feel his body against yours. his arms immediately loop around your body, finding your waist so he can press you closer.
you dip in, hand at the base of his neck to control him, and nudge your nose against his -- just to tease him. he tries to push up and press his lips to yours, but you stop him, hand firmly holding him back.
"what am i gonna do with you?" you shake your head, "silly boy..."
he looks confused, brows tighten together endearingly, an expression that's slightly embarrassed.
"i-i thought you wanted to kiss."
"did i say that?"
"n-no, but--"
"you think you're so pretty that anyone would let you hit?" your hand moves up to the center of his neck. you press gently on the sides of his throat, pulling a groan from his lips. "mm...maybe you are pretty..."
he shivers from the praise. you can tell he's trying to hold back, but he's still subtly trying to move his hips under you, desperate for any type of friction.
"please? just one kiss?"
"just one?" you ghost your lips on his.
he whimpers at the feeling. you guess his lips are especially sensitive.
"please"
you give in, leaning against his silky pink lips. you feel him melt against you, sighing into it like it's the sweet relief of water in a barren desert. he desperately attempts to pull you closer by your waist, but you're already firmly pressed against him.
he deepens the kiss, delicately licking against the seam of lips before diving in and dragging his tongue against yours. you taste the tequila and lust -- it makes you hungry for more. he moans prettily when you nip at his lips, sucking on the sweet, sensitive skin until it gets all puffy and plump.
when you break the kiss, he attempts to chase your lips for more, not ready to separate. you dodge his advances with an amused smile, loving how needy he is already.
"you said one kiss"
"mmm, i think i messed up on that one..." he swipes his tongue over his swollen lips as he stares hungrily at yours, eyelids heavy but gaze wanting, "can we try again?"
“maybe if you earn it again…”
he groans, “fuck,” he presses his hips against yours, making you feel how hard he is under his pants, “but i need you so bad, mommy.”
hearing that word slip from his beautiful lips almost makes you melt into a puddle, right on his lap. if it weren’t for the way you were straddling him, your thighs would’ve immediately pressed together from the amount of need you were feeling.
you press down on him just as eagerly, panting from the pressure of his hard cock against your aching clit.
"yeah? you gonna be a good boy and fill me up?"
"mhmm~" his deep voice drones, vibrating from his chest against yours, "please let me -- i need to be inside of you."
you roll your hips against him, coaxing cute whimpers from him with every press.
"think you deserve it?" you taunt. san can't even answer you, merely nodding with his eyes squeezed shut, reveling in the feeling of your body grinding against his.
your hands move down from his neck, over his chest and stomach before settling right against his covered cock. you can feel the way he twitches under his pants, desperately begging for attention.
he groans when you press against him, the minimal pressure is already too much for him to handle.
"you're already so hard for me." you stroke him over his pants, feeling the perfect contours of his erection even when separated by the fabric.
"m'always hard for you" he slurs, hips subtly flexed upwards in an attempt to feel more of you.
"let me see." you unbutton his pants with ease and use a bit of force to pull them off just far enough to reveal his pretty cock and the top of his legs. his blushing tip weeps delicately with beads of cum, already spilling against his shaft -- evidence of how close he already is to the edge.
when you wrap your hand around him, his body stiffens and his hands instantly grip over the top of your thighs to ground himself.
"w-wait...not yet--" he begs, head thrown back in ecstasy.
you haven't even done anything yet.
"sannie," you can feel him throbbing against your fingers, "baby, are you okay?"
"d-don't move." he shudders, "i m-might--"
you watch his facial expressions closely as you squeeze your fist around him, nearly drooling from the way his eyebrows scrunch together with intensity.
"oops..." you fail to hide your smile but it doesn't matter, he can't see it anyway. you swipe your thumb against the edge of his tip, massaging that sweet spot as his legs begin to shake.
you slip your other hand under his shirt, feeling up his muscled torso to his heaving chest. his skin is warm and smooth against your fingers and it makes you want to leave pretty marks all over him.
his back arches when you lazily drag your index finger against his nipple. you circle your finger around it experimentally and the needy bud hardens from your teasing touch.
"sensitive boy..." you hum.
he whimpers sweetly, "t-too much--"
you ignore his words and pinch his nipple. his mouth opens and he's barely able to take a handful of breaths before he's crying out in broken moans and thrusting against your hand. you work him through it with hushed praises, letting him fuck your fist until he's too weak to continue.
you take your other hand and run your fingers through his hair lovingly as his climax moves through him before caressing the back of his flushed neck. his overstimulated body shivers against your gentle touch, but he still leans into it.
he made a mess.
his cum spurted all over -- spilling over your hand and dripping on your lap -- so now, your pants (and his) are ruined. when san finally calms down a bit, he peeks down at the mess as well.
"i-i'm sorry, i tried to hold it in..." he stares at you with rounded eyes, sparkling with shame and embarrassment.
you tilt your head as you regard the flushed man before you, "if you're gonna be so messy, clean it up." he cowers slightly at your taunting words.
"h-how..."
you lift the hem of his shirt wordlessly and -- after a moment of confusion -- he obediently raises his arms to let you take it off. he watches on with a surprised expression as you bundle it up and use it to wipe your hands and lap.
"what? you thought i'd make you lick it up?" you tease, "didn't know you were that much of a pervert."
"i-no, i d-don't know." he stammers.
you accidentally brush against him as you're cleaning up and his body jolts harshly from the feeling. you gently move the shirt away and notice that he's still hard.
how the fuck--
he can feel your stare.
"u-um...it's..." he attempts to cover himself up with his hands, "this is normal." you throw his shirt to the side and take him by the wrists. you move his hands away and his cock twitches from your attention.
"is it?" when you look up at his face he's blushing, thoroughly embarrassed by his needy body.
"only...when i think of you." he says quietly, "y-you can just ignore it though." he stares at the way your smaller hands wrap around his wrists.
cute.
just to see what he'd do, you put his hands on your body, leading them up from your hips to your chest. he immediately gropes your tits in his large hands, letting out a pathetic noise.
"didn't know you were so insatiable..." you push him away and get off of his lap. he whines from the loss of contact but as soon as he sees you start to strip for him, he's silent, watching on in awe.
you pull off your shirt but leave your bra on -- just another way to tease and deprive him of what he wants. next, you shimmy off your pants before throwing them in his lap.
"look at the stains you left on them," you pout, "those were new." (no they weren't) "you're gonna have to buy me a new pair."
"yeah, o-ok, i'll buy you anything you want..." san ignores the pants and continues to stare at you with a cute spaced-out expression, refusing to miss even a second of you nearly naked in front of him.
he looks so good sitting there, waiting so patiently for you. his broad shoulders -- that stretch every shirt he owns -- lift every so often with the deep breaths he's taking.
his bare body is tan and fucking chiseled, you swear you could get off just grinding on his stupidly perfect abs. and the way he's keeping his hands to himself, despite how eager his cock stands for you.
when you start to approach him again, he shoves the stained clothing away to make room for you. you caress his face as you settle on top of him again.
"don't worry, baby, i'll help you."
"fuck, please."
back on top of him, you roll your hips so your covered cunt just barely grazes his hard cock. he lets out a helpless groan from the bare touch.
"oops, i forgot to take these off..." you snap the waistband of your panties against your hips, "is it okay if we just shove them to the side?" you ask, guiding his hand to feel the lace that decorates the edges.
he tugs at the fabric with thinly veiled frustration. you're surprised he hasn't lost it already. you loop your arms around his neck, letting him touch as much of you as he wants.
his hand travels under your thighs to press right over your clothed center.
"just don't mess these up too, okay?"
"i'll try my best" he presses the pads of his fingers against your cunt, feeling your wet slick soak through the thin fabric of your underwear. "f-fuck, you're already dripping."
"i'm all ready for you, sannie..." you press your hips against his hand, "you could probably just slip it right in" you whisper.
that's all the convincing it takes for him to push his hand under the fabric and run his finger against the soft lips of your cunt.
"feels good, baby~" you shove your face against the crook of his neck, mouthing and nipping against his skin. he hums gratefully at the praise -- it almost sounds like he's purring.
your slick coats his fingers as he rubs them against your sopping hole, gently pressing into you until you stretch around him. you bite your lip as he thrusts into you shallowly, barely able to finger-fuck you correctly because of how far his arm is stretched around your body.
you swear you're making a mess of his hand, dripping everywhere because of how much you want him inside of you. you pull your face away from his neck, eyes locking with his, "sannie, just fuck me."
you lift your hips up enough to press his weeping cock against you.
"b-but what about--"
you pull him in for a kiss and he immediately leans into it, melting against you once again. if you weren't so horny, you'd gush over how easy he is for you.
"don't worry, baby, i can take it."
san listens, pulling your panties to the side so he can position himself against you. he runs his cock against the seam of your cunt a few times to lubricate himself enough before slowly pushing against you. you press down at the same time, legs shaking slightly as your body stretches to accommodate his size.
"o-oh, fuck!" he chokes out, overwhelmed by the feeling of your soaking cunt sucking him in. you both moan when you sit all the way down, letting him fill you to the brim.
"mm...you fill me up so good, baby." you sigh, starting to roll your hips against him. he's so big that he presses against all the special spots inside of you with every move you make.
his hips involuntarily jerk upwards every time you lift your hips away from him, desperately needing to feel you all around him. he'd probably like cockwarming, you think -- or you would think if he wasn't fucking the thoughts from your mind.
"m-mommy, it's -- too much--" his hands wrap around your waist, squeezing faint bruises into your skin as he grapples with the feeling of your tightness fluttering around him.
your head tilts back as you speed up against him, "be good, sannie..." your breaths come out short and labored, "let mommy use your cock -- mm...fuck, yes." your mind is hazy as he hits all the right places inside of you.
he whines, pressing his face against your chest as you move against him, "i don't think i'm going to last." he twitches inside of you, already worked up to the edge.
"then go ahead," you breathe, "cum in me."
you feel the way his hips flex at the thought of filling you up, of making a mess out of you.
"i-i shouldn't..." he says -- but he's fucking up against you harder.
"why not, sannie?" you taunt, "don't want to get me pregnant?"
he lifts his head from your chest to look at you, "p-pregnant?"
"mhm," you smile down at him, "give me your babies so i can't go anywhere."
you're suddenly pressed against his hips, hard, his cock stretching you to your limit. you can feel him everywhere. you moan loudly, cunt fluttering uncontrollably from the intense pleasure he's pressing into you.
"you'd be mine?" he questions with an eager tone, almost innocently so. you can feel the way he throbs inside of you, just a touch away from tipping over the edge.
he refuses to move until you answer him.
so you try to. at least with the 1% of brain power he leaves you with.
"a-and you'd be mine." you can barely focus on the words you want to say.
san starts to shallowly thrust into you, "i'm already yours..."
"then i'm yours too."
his hands cradle your face as you continue to move against each other more desperately. he guides your face to his, pressing his lips against yours messily, teeth dragging and tongues mingling.
it's like he's only doing it to taste you. to feel you because he can't believe you're real. to claim your whole body because he can't take being away from you, even by a few centimeters.
you reach your highs together, moving perfectly in sync until you're both shaking in pleasure. you feel his hot cum fill you up, spurt after spurt -- so much in fact, you can feel it start to drip out of you, down his cock, and onto his lap.
"fuck, i might actually get pregnant from this." you say to yourself.
you feel him twitch inside of you again.
well, shit.
#san x reader#san ateez x reader#choi san x reader#san choi x reader#san smut#choi san smut#san choi smut#san ateez smut#ateez x reader#ateez smut#sub!san#sub!san x reader
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i see your face in every crowd - op81
summary: the asutralian grand prix is right around the corner and oscar's face is everywhere in melbourne, his ex girlfriend can't help but miss him (he misses her too)
folkie radio: if you know me you know i'm a sucker for an exes to lovers trope, and honestly this one is one of my faves i've ever done. ENJOY AND LEAVE FEEDBACK
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
liked by oliviarodrigo, lando and 2,107,399 others
yourinstagram back home for a bit... needed some time to reset & breathe. been writing loads lately - the songs are just pouring out 🌊 feeling more inspired than ever tbh. can't wait to share what i've been working on with u all soon. huge thank u for all the love lately, means more than u know xx
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username1 BABYYYY
username2 i'm happy she's home and surrounded by love
sabrinacarpenter miss ur face already 😭 these songs are about to end lives fr
chappellroan THEYRE NOT READY FOR WHAT'S COMING!!! also pls come back to LA soon i'm dying without u
username3 chappellynbrina is a forever thing
username4 the way melbourne gp is gonna be so awkward next month...
└ username1 why does everyone have to make everything about that 🙄 let them live
└ username2 no fr like can we focus on the music instead
username5 oscar ain't shit anyway, ur so much better without him queen
└ username3 y'all don't even know what happened, stop being toxic
└ username6 they literally both asked for privacy can u respect that maybe
alexandrasaintmleux being home suits u sm! can't wait for the new era
└ username2 once a wag always a wag
username7 THE BREAKUP ALBUM IS COMING AND IM HERE FOR IT
username8 take all the time u need but also pls drop a song soon we're starving 😩
lando yooo text me when you get the chance !
└ username1 THEIR FRIENDSHIP LIVES
└username2 oscar piastri you can't break this one
username9 some of y'all are being so mean for no reason, they were cute together and now they're not, it happens
username10 manifesting a collab with sabrina on this album 🕯️
liked by lando, alex_albon and 467,958 others
oscarpiastri Last few days of prep before heading home for the season opener. Ready 💪
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username1 THATS MY BABY GOAT
username2 we're so taking that wdc this year
lando looking a bit weak mate might need another few months of training
└ oscarpiastri stick to gaming mate
└ carlossainz55 Children, behave 😂
└ username1 THIS INTERACTION
username3 we're so back. man's entering his thirst trap era and we love to see it
└ username1 healing through gym pics, real
username4 the transformation from rookie to absolute unit we love to see it
username5 melbourne's gonna go crazy for him
└ username2 the city will be pretty much covered with his face
username7 the post-breakup glow >>>>>>
username8 bro said watch me get faster AND hotter
username9 yn is stronger than me bc i definitely would've given him another chance
georgerussell63 Looking strong 💪🏼
└ lando but still slower than me
└ oscarpiastri We'll see about that mate
└ username3 WHAT IS LANDO'S PROBLEM
aussiegp Our hometown hero getting ready to give us a show 🇦🇺
username10 YN GET BACK WITH HIM I BEGGG
liked by shortandbrina, livbedumb and 119 others
definitelynotyn not me stalking his instagram at 2am with a glass of rosé in hand... why he gotta post gym pics looking like THAT 😭 someone take my phone away fr because what if i do something stupid like text him rn???? also why does he have to look so good while training I HATE HIM
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shortandbrina girl DELETE instagram rn i'm not joking!! calling u in 2 mins
└ definitelynotyn too late i already watched his story 3 times help
midwestprincess this is why we don't drink wine alone bestie... coming over with ice cream and we're watching mean girls
└ definitelynotyn pls hurry before i do something stupid like listen to our playlist
livbedumb first rule of breakups: BLOCK THE GYM PROGRESS POSTS!!!! trust me on this one
└ definitelynotyn but what if i just want to check if he's doing okay 🥲
└ gracieeeeee she's lost it completely someone intervene
arithegood not me literally writing a song about this exact situation last week 💀 wine drunk stalking is universal bestie
└ definitelynotyn pls send me the song i just know it'll hurt so good
phoebenotbuffay okay but like... we've all been there 😭 remember when i almost texted #him after he decided to walk around in those short shorts
└ definitelynotyn at least urs wasn't wearing race suits that make his arms look like THAT
whostaylorswiftanyway time to write a song about it bestie x
└ definitelynotyn already got three verses and a bridge done ngl
liked by username1, username2 and 6,974 others
f1updates Melbourne is getting ready for the Australian GP! The city is covered in @/oscarpiastri billboards and posters as they prepare to welcome their home hero
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username1 imagine being yn trying to get coffee and boom there's your ex's face on a 50ft billboard 💀
username2 the way you literally can't escape his face anywhere in the cbd this week
username3 the way this gp would've been so different if they were still together... remember last year?
└ username1 they were the cutest in the paddock
└ username2 pls she probably won't even be in melbourne this year
username4 our boy is everywhere and we love to see it!!
username5 the promotional team really said oscar piastri world domination
username6 the billboards are giving everything they need to give tbh
username7 maybe she should drop the breakup album during race week for maximum chaos
└ username1 now that would be iconic behavior
└ username3 the way the charts and the podium would be fighting for his attention
username8 MELBOURNE IS OSCARLAND
username9 imagine not being an oscar fan rn… or worse, being his ex
username10 CAN SOMEBODY THINK OF OUR GIRL YN
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liked by lando, charles_leclerc and 597,388 others
oscarpiastri Seems like there's a few of me around Melbourne at the moment... has anyone noticed? 😅
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username1 OSCAR FUCKING PIASTRI
username2 HE DID NOT
lando bit of an upgrade for the city tbh └ oscarpiastri Better than your face mate
username3 OH HE'S MESSY FOR THIS ONE
└ username1 posting this RIGHT after her story i'm screaming
username4 he chose violence today and i'm here for it
mclaren Our guy's everywhere! Can't wait for the weekend 🧡
└ username2 admin pretending they don't see what's happening here
username5 THE TIMING OF THIS POST??? someone's feeling petty
username6 he really said "oh you can't escape me? let me show you why" 💀
georgerussell63 Just ran into your face in the airport
username7 the way he probably had these pics ready and WAITED
username8 bro saw her story and chose chaos
danielricciardo looking good mate! although i remember when it was my face everywhere 👴 └ oscarpiastri Times change old man
username9 it's giving "oh you miss seeing me? here's more" energy actually
username10 focusing on the important stuff: he looks good in every single billboard
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liked by harrystyles, sabrinacarpenter and 1,389,647 others
yourinstagram missing tour life so much today! can't wait to get back on the road and see all your beautiful faces again 💕 thankful for the memories we've made together x
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username1 MY GIRL I MISS HER
username2 the way she posted this exactly after THAT story... we see you
└ username3 damage control era
troyesivan SUPERSTAR 🤩🤩
username4 girl we know what (who) you're really missing
└ username2 not her trying to distract us 😭
username5 we're not fooled bestie but we support you
sabrinacarpenter miss you too angel!! ❤️
└ yourinstagram love you sabs 🥺
username6 NOT THE DAMAGE CONTROL POST
username7 WE NEED A TOUR ASAP
gracieabrams I miss being on the road with you 🥹🥹
username8 EVERYONE TALKIG ABOUT OSCAR HELP
username9 can we talk about how good she looked on tour though??
username10 the way she's probably sitting with sabrina rn planning damage control posts
└ username11 the group chat must be WILD right now
liked by midwestprincess, livbedumb and 109 others
definitelynotyn well. something just came in the mail and i think i might actually throw up. universe really said "you thought that instagram story wasn't enough embarrassment for one day?"
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shortnbrina GIRL CHECK YOUR TEXTS RN
└ definitelynotyn I'M HAVING A CRISIS
midwestprincess the way i SPRINTED here when you texted
└ definitelynotyn help what do i do
└ midwestprincess BREATHE FIRST
gracieeee wait is that what i think it is? 🏁
└ definitelynotyn 🙃🙃🙃
└ gracieeee OH MY GOD????
livbedumb the timing… someone's been plotting
└ definitelynotyn don't. i can't think about that.
maddiebeer okay but like… are you going?
└ definitelynotyn MADS PLS I'M ALREADY SPIRALING
└ maddiebeer that's not a no 👀
arithegood manifesting a rain delay so you have to stay longer
└ definitelynotyn I HAVEN'T EVEN DECIDED IF I'M GOING
└ arithegood sure jan
phoebenotbuffay imagine if you'd actually posted this on main too
└ definitelynotyn DON'T EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT
└ phoebenotbuffay too soon? 😂
dulapeep at least you have time to plan outfits
└ definitelynotyn NOT HELPING
└ dulapeep the green dress. trust me.
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liked by lando, charles_leclerc and 665,583 others
oscarpiastri Close. Bring on tomorrow
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username1 THATS MY BABY GOAT
username2 oscar piastri man of few words
username3 pole position if he was still with yn
mclaren Our home champ 🧡
username4 OKAY CHAT DO WE THINK YN WILL ATTEND THE RACE??
└ username1 maybe focus on racing?? this isn't about his ex
lando sorry about that
└ oscarpiastri Should've just let me keep it
username5 can't help but think about yn in parc fermé for his win tomorrow but they're not together anymore
username6 HES WINNING TOMORROW THERE'S NOTHING THAT CAN CHANGE THAT
charles_leclerc An existential crisis later
└ carlossainz55 Let him breathe
└ username1 HUUUH WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT
username7 brb listening to yn's songs about him.. specially lover
liked by midwestprincess, shortandbrina and 107 others
definitelynotyn watching from my couch because apparently i'm the biggest coward in the universe. the pass is literally staring at me from my coffee table. i hate myself.
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shortnbrina GET IN YOUR CAR RIGHT NOW
└ definitelynotyn I CAN'T
└ shortnbrina YES YOU CAN I'M CALLING YOU AN UBER
midwestprincess GIRL THERE'S STILL 40 LAPS YOU CAN LITERALLY MAKE IT
└ definitelynotyn and then what?? walk in mid-race??
└ midwestprincess YES EXACTLY LIKE A MAIN CHARACTER WOULD
livbedumb not you watching his every move on tv when you could be there
└ definitelynotyn this is less scary ok
└ livbedumb is it though??
maddiebeer remember when you said you'd never be that girl who's too scared to face her feelings?
└ definitelynotyn low blow mads
whostaylorswiftanyway THE PASS IS RIGHT THERE GO GET YOUR MAN
└ definitelynotyn STOP YELLING AT ME
└ whostaylorswiftanyway NO
gracieeee remember when you said his note was the sweetest thing ever? remember crying about how much you missed him? but sure stay on your couch
└ definitelynotyn this is emotional manipulation
definitelynotyn FINE YALL WIN. CALLING A CAR RN
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liked by shortnbrina, landitooooo and 113 others
definitelynotyn we did some talking. then we did some kissing. then we did some more talking. then we did some more kissing. might have cried a bit (him too). wearing his sweatshirt again. life's funny sometimes.
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midwestprincess OH GOD FINALLY
gracieeee I'M SOBBING
leclercccccc FINALLY you accepted the follow request
└ definitelynotyn oh my god
└ leclercccccc i helped with the speech you know
└ notoscarpiastri mate.
└ leclercccccc you're welcome btw
landitooooo took you both long enough bloody hell
└ notoscarpiastri says you
└ landitooooo oi what's that supposed to mean
└ shortnbrina no idea really
└ definitelynotyn lando norris and sabrina carpenter... there's stuff you need to explain
arithegood THE TIMELINE HAS BEEN RESTORED
└ definitelynotyn dramatic much
└ arithegood says the girl who showed up mid-race
whostaylorswiftanyway I expect a full debrief tomorrow but I'm happy for you my girl
notoscarpiastri Can we go back to the kissing?
└ definitelynotyn please

liked by username1, username2 and 8,594 others
popbuzz YN AND OSCAR PIASTRI SPOTTED TOGETHER IN MELBOURNE
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username1 THE SWEATSHIRT THE SWEATSHIRT THE SWEATSHIRT
└ username2 SHE'S WEARING HIS CLOTHES AGAIN
username3 FROM SPINNING OUT TO BREAKFAST DATES IN 24 HOURS
└ username2 character development at its finest
username4 IM GOING TO CRY THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER
username5 Sources say he went to her place last night...
└ username1 and didn't leave 👀
username6 I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY REALLY GOT BACK TOGETHER
username7 this is proof that crying over your ex on main actually works
username8 YN IS A WAG AGAIN OMFG
username9 everybody say thank you australia gp billboards with oscar's face
username10 OSCAR LOVE SONGS ARE SO BACK
username11 WE WON SO HARD

liked by yourinstagram, lando and 876,494 others
oscarpiastri Home race took some unexpected turns both on and off track. P9 wasn't the result we wanted, but somehow still ended up winning this weekend.
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username1 HE'S SOOOO
username2 LOST THE RACE BUT GOT THE GIRL??
lando mate that's actually smooth
└ oscarpiastri Learned from the best
mclaren We'll take this kind of victory too 🧡
username3 THE THIRD PICTURE IM SOBBING
username4 mans really said forget p9 i got the girl
username5 HE'S SO BOYFRIEND WE'RE SO BACK
nicolepiastri ❤️
username6 OSCAR PIASTRI THE MAN THAT YOU ARE
username7 oscar's guide to get back with your ex with just ten simple steps
sabrinacarpenter FINALLY !!! OUR GIRL CAN STOP MOPING AROUND
└ chappellroan now we need oscar's friend to grow some balls too
└ oscarpiastri @/lando
└ lando well...
└ username1 OMFG LANDO AND SABRINA??
└ username2 WHAT JUST HAPPENED
username8 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS REAL LIFE
yourinstagram 🥺🥺 i love you
#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#oscar piastri fanfiction#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri fake instagram#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri fluff#oscar piastri fic#oscar piastri x yn#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#formula 1 x reader#charles leclerc x reader#formula 1#oscar piastri writing#harrysfolklore#f1 grid x reader#formula 1 masterlist#oscar piastri masterlist
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imagine logan seeing you again
logan x reader
warning: some deadpool x wolverine spoilers. this takes place after the movie. under 1k words.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
The apartment was packed jammed with friends and some foes of Wade Wilson. There might have been music playing in the background, but Logan couldn’t tell when his eyes locked with the figure walking through the front door. His heart dropped, he felt sick to his stomach as his eyes fluttered. It had to be a dream but then he quickly came to his senses.
This wasn’t his universe, his world. He was somewhere entirely new. He caught his breath as Wade shouted out an exclamation of joy. Logan watched as he drew up from his seat to greet you with an overzealous hug, pulling you toward the group at the table. Wade held you rough by the shoulders and grinned. “Look who decided to come out of retirement, conveniently after we,” he pointed to Logan then himself. “Saved the fucking world. Avengers, who? Bunch of assholes, if you ask me.”
“You sound like a man scorn, Wade,” you teased, offering a wave of a hand to your friends. The idiot next to you was right, the whole superhero thing had been a thing of the past. You have been a regular civilian for a few years now and have been loving a more relaxed existence – not being threatened daily was like, nice. “Don’t worry, you’ll see all the details in the movie. Have you meant my little angry beaver, the Wolverine?”
Your head jerked to where the older gentlemen was sitting, and you grinned. “I haven’t had the pleasure. I never met this world’s Logan – we ran in different circles. It’s nice to meet you.”
His heart relaxed and he confidently held out a hand, ignoring the interested glance from Laura. “Nice to meet you.”
“Take a seat next to Logan,” Wade urged, winking over to his new hesitant partner. “I’m sure he can fill you in on all the fun we’ve had together. Tell her about the sex ramp we had in the car that one time.”
“Do you ever shut the fuck up?” Logan cursed, telling you to ignore him.
“I usually do,” you laughed, thanking Vanessa for the beer she slid over from her side of the table. Popping it open, you relaxed and asked Logan how this place was treating him. “Must be weird, coming here. It’s like your world, right? Just slightly different?”
“Something like that.”
“Did we know each other back there?”
Your question seemed so invasive and frank – it almost made Logan smile because some people never changed, no matter what universe. Back where he came from, you were such a firecracker little shit. He had his hands full dealing with your bullshit. You were always running towards danger with little regard for your own safety because you had him. He had always been at your side, or at least, trying to catch up but he had always been there for you.
Logan had loved you and you had loved him.
Two reckless mutants.
Then you died and that sent him straight down a barrel of alcohol and indifference, to everyone and everything in his world. Which led to his greatest shame of all, allowing his family to be murdered because he was too busy drinking his sorrows away. He had long forgotten what it felt like to see you smile or hear you laugh, to feel your fingertips on his skin. The weight of your head on his chest as you slept, he never could replicate that feeling and yet, here you were.
A different version of you but God, the same.
“We were friends, really good friends.”
The hint of sadness in his voice was enough for you to understand and maybe not truly, but something had happened. That much was evident and while it might have been silly, you wanted nothing more than to comfort this man next to you. The room seemed to fall quiet, but no one was paying attention, except the girl next to Logan. Your eyes met hers, but she just smiled and looked away. Logan’s eyes were focused on the beer in his hands, but his eyes jerked up when a gentle hand touched the top of his. Your skin ablaze his and it felt wrong to feel like he had once when he didn’t even know you. Not this version of you, a woman he knew nothing about. It didn’t feel right but he wanted nothing more to allow this to go on. To see who you were in this world.
Did he deserve that? After everything that happened.
“Were? I won’t pry but it seems like life has given you a second chance, Logan.” You smiled softly and removed your hand from his, lifting your beer can to him. “You guys saved this world; a second chance is the least the universe can give you. Why not take it?”
Logan chuckled lowly. “The version of you I knew also had a deficiency in reasoning.”
A hard smack landed on his chest, and he laughed, which made you laugh. “Yeah, well, at least I don’t look like that idiot.”
Looking over to where you pointed to Wade, who had decided to show off his hair piece, Logan smirked. “Yeah, that’s fucking terrible.”
The two of you smiled at each other and something clicked in that moment, leaving the both of you quiet until you broke the tension. “To not looking like Wade Wilson.”
Logan clicked his beer against yours and felt a settling in his heart. Maybe he did deserve a second chance, at least, he could start toward earning that second chance. “Amen to that.”
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Icarus, and the Sunflower
PART TWO: UNFIXABLE ERROR
PROLOGUE: PART ONE
3.4k words below the cut
SOME BEGINNING NOTES: - This AU is only character shipping, and references a lot outside the life series events (evo, hermitcraft, empires, etc). This is not meant to ship the CC’s themselves and if anything alludes to it, it is purely unintentional. - This is not canon-compliant ermmmm i do what i want and i will put every idea i have into this - No more bullet points this time... taking off the baby wheels - This is to add more to the first part! Please read that one before this if you haven't - Tags for this part? Game dev AU, Past BigB/Grian, a lot of BigGri flirting, some characters are real and some are fictional, this is only the prologue (part 2!), Grian is still down bad for Scar, absolutely not beta'd i only have one impulsive braincell, contains some fake chats
I. HALLOWEEN
The game awards have been announced, and it was the talk of the company. Evolutionists’ Portal has been online for 4 months now, and it built itself a dedicated fan base with a peak of about 80k players a month. Updates were still on the way, scheduled for Halloween and Christmas Day.
The team working on Evolutionists’ Portal hoped for a nomination, and maybe even an award. Gria hoped for this, as well, but he was too tired to even think with everything on his plate. Their art director quit suddenly, so he was carrying out two big roles, but even when the past art director was there, he was basically doing most of his work.
The team took notice of his exhaustion and invited him to the company Halloween party. Gria didn’t want to, but Martyn had a brilliant idea for making a bet: Gria believed they would get one nomination, and Martyn believed it would be two. If Gria wins, Martyn will get him breakfast every day until Christmas. If Martyn wins, Gria has to wear an outfit to the party of his choosing. Gria thought it was a harmless bet, and he’d actually benefit from it, so he agreed.
Jimmy is his closest friend in the company, but Jimmy was also busy with his work in Empires. There are talks of a big collaboration and he knows he can’t get ahold of Jimmy until it is settled. One morning, a cup of coffee appeared on his desk with a note attached to it that said,
“You might need a little boost in your morning.”
Gria had no idea who it could be from until he noticed a wrapped piece of warm, chocolate cookie beside the cup. He looked up from his desk and met eyes with Big B, who smiled and gave him a little wave before resuming his work.
His crush on Big B was no secret. The man is funny and handsome, and he and Gria started in the company together. Martyn was the first one to catch it, the way he gets giggly and embarrassed around Big B, and he’s been on Gria’s case since. Pearl found out about it through Martyn’s teasing, but she had the grace not to poke fun at Gria (only sometimes.) Jimmy still hasn’t caught on, and Martyn bursts out laughing every time Jimmy unintentionally third wheels or cockblocks Gria. Gria has an inkling that Big B might’ve noticed it, but he acts the same way around him, which Gria is thankful for.
The nominations were out the morning of the party, and they were nominated for “Best Multiplayer” and “Best Audio Design.” As soon as the news broke out, Martyn walked in stride to the art department and pulled Gria to the parking lot where Martyn’s car was parked. He opened the trunk, pulled something out, and gave it to Gria with a devilish grin.
Martyn: I’m so excited to meet such a popular singer tonight.
Gria peeked inside the dress cover, he wanted to die.
One night, the team went out drinking. Gria had a few more drinks than he should’ve. He doesn’t remember what happened, but Pearl recorded the whole thing; basically, he got so drunk that he started singing nothing but Ariana Grande songs. To put the final nail in the coffin, he might’ve sat on Big B’s lap as he sang one song.
Gria wore the outfit after being manhandled by everyone into wearing it. Big B wasn’t going to the party as he’d said days before, and while Gria was relieved not to embarrass himself, he also wished for Big B to be there.
Gria wore a ridiculously pink two-piece top and skirt, with a white furry shoal attached to gloves. Pearl also lent him her white boots, which surprisingly fit him well (and gave him a few inches.) The room cheered when he walked in, and he was too embarrassed to walk that Jimmy had to drag him around the room.
Pearl wore a cute green dress, which looked a lot like a character from Empires. Jimmy wore a Captain America costume, but instead of a star had a huge letter S at the middle of his chest. Martyn wore a pirate costume.
Martyn: What a shame Big B isn’t here to see this.
Martyn teased, and Gria wanted to strangle him right there. Then, without warning, a finger poked his cheek. Gria turned and there Big B was, holding a bloody axe in a bloody costume. Gria remembered the game Big B told him about, a zombie game called “The Creaking Dead.” It was one of the things that led them to become friends, their love for zombie games.
The night went by, celebrating both Halloween and their nominations. Empires also had their own share of nominations, and Jimmy was so giddy that night.
Pearl pulled them four to the photo booth before they could get more wasted. Jimmy grabbed a weird-looking fish beanie and Martyn put on a Mickey Mouse headband. Pearl put on a sunflower crown that fit the gold accents in her dress. They made sure to put Gria and Big B at the center of the photo, and Gria tried not to explode with how close they were. Big B suggested they take a Polaroid photo after for keepsake, and before Gria could head out of the room and go home, Big B gave him a Polaroid photo with a message written in Sharpie.
"Glad I came by today, G. Happy Halloween. ♡"
II. VALENTINE’S DAY
Gria and Big B have been talking and texting each other non-stop for months now. People assume they’re dating, but when Jimmy asked, he clarified that they had no label. It’s true; they haven’t done much. They hung around a lot, and they might’ve fooled around during cold December nights, but it was an unspoken, casual thing. At least, that’s what it was for Gria.
On Valentine’s day, Big B invited him for dinner, and everyone teased them about being lovebirds. That night, Big B finally asked Gria to be his boyfriend.
Gria was happy. Overjoyed. Someone as kind and thoughtful as Big B, who treats him so well, wanted them to be exclusive. He wanted Gria. But the smile on Gria’s face slowly faded as his happiness turned into dread. Big B is too nice for him. Too perfect for him. Too much for someone like him.
Gria turned him down without explaining further. He saw the hurt in Big B’s eyes, but the man still treated him the same: with adoration and care.
Big B drove him home, and that was the last time they talked outside of work.
III. MARCH
Gria finally took some time off. Aside from the upcoming April Fools update, there wasn’t much to be done. The tension between him and Big B has been too much to bear, and he can’t shake the guilt he feels each time Big B leaves a warm cup of coffee with a cute note on his desk.
He lurks on the internet, bored out of his mind. He met this person, PotatoNutshell, and became friends over Hermitopia 6.
IV. APRIL FOOLS
< Let's play like cats, let's count to three. >
The gang liked the Alpha version of “The Life Game.” The map is good (which makes Gria proud as he designed it,) and the mechanics are simple enough to get used to.
There are several problems, though. The motion blur is making everyone sick, and the one who had it the roughest was Joel. The UI is also unintuitive, as you have to look at your wrist to see the messages and your health status, which you can easily lose track of. Then, the computer AI characters are indistinguishable from each other. It was supposed to be a battle royal game, but with only the players having unique skins, it feels a bit more like player versus enemy than a competition.
It was understandable, though, that it didn't have much character customization. The remaining two working on the game are a writer and a programmer, and they have no 3D modeling experience at all. Gria figured he could help out and tinker with it when he had time, especially with how the gang loved the game despite all its flaws.
V. SUMMER, a year later
Gria’s old friends finally messaged him that they added more things to the game, and it might be enough for a beta test. The only thing they haven’t figured out is the character models. Gria confirmed if they were planning to release this game, and the two said “no, not yet. Not anytime soon.” That gave Gria all the liberty to simply tinker with the game just for their own enjoyment.
He asked the team if they had any characters they’d like to mod into the game, preferably with 3D models so they wouldn’t have to worry about rigging and animation too much. Skizzleman suggested Hermitopia characters, which Gria wouldn’t contest because this gives him a great excuse to add Scar into the game.
They needed one more character, and Gria remembered the Empires plush on Jimmy’s desk. The team gave him a free plushie of the “Starboy, The Rivendell King” because all plushies of the “Codfather” were sold out, the one Jimmy usually played as. Still, Jimmy keeps the Starboy plushie on his desk and sometimes carries it with him to the breakroom when he takes a short nap. Gria found the image of Jimmy carrying this plush to be adorable, although he will never say it aloud, so he decided to add Starboy as their final character. He also had Gemini and Shadow Lady (as per Joel’s request) 3D models ready, but he’ll probably add them next time. Pearl also isn’t joining their session for now, so it would be good to save her favorite character for another time.
On one Friday night in April, they all logged on and waited to connect to The Life Game’s private server. Gria was excited to play until he received a message from one of his old friends.
A slight chill crawls up Grian’s arm. He gripped his VR headset, a bit hesitant after his conversation with his old friends. After a moment, he shook off his nerves and wore his headset. He looked at the server status reading “5/6 Players” and hovered his controller over the button that would let him play with his friends. Grian ignored the warning bells and hit “Join World.”
VI. HELLO, WORLD
Gria spawned into the world, a bit dizzy from the sunlight blasting into his eyes. He got off on the ground and surveyed his surroundings, and it seemed like the map was different from the last time. In front of him looked like a ruined portal, which he doesn’t remember adding to the map years ago. Could this be something his old friends added to the map for the Evolutionists’ Portal developers to see? Gria smiled at the sentiment. He looted the chest near it, and it felt a bit like cheating. He joined the game late, but he already had golden gear in his first minutes of playing.
He did some resource gathering, something which they learned was crucial from their alpha test. He travelled and spotted a village, and saw Martyn’s character completely raiding it. Out of all of them, Martyn might have been the one who became so immersed in the gameplay. Even before playing, he was discussing tactics and plans in their call. If it ever came down to it, he knows Martyn would be a formidable opponent with how into it he is.
Gria traversed the map more until he hit the border. There’s no way to get through it, even if you force it. It also seemed like the friendly creatures weren't able to get past it. It’s a bit scary to think about how they’re stuck in this little box until only one of them remains. It’s a good thing all of this is just a game.
Being the creator of the maps for this game, Gria remembers where most of the biomes are on the map. He goes back to the village and spots Big B.
Excited and without thinking, he jumped in front of Big B and surprised him, which made Big B’s character jump back. But, when Big B met his eyes, he immediately laughed and smiled.
Before Big B could strike up a conversation, Joel’s voice could be heard from a distance, he looked just like himself in real life, but he wore a costume that reminded Gria of Shrek. He shot Big B a quick look and saw he was wearing something similar to his costume during one of their old Halloween parties. Martyn’s character seemed different, too.
Gria noticed the little shop icon on his screen. When he clicked on it, it opened a shop of a multitude of items that can be bought with experience points. He checked out the costume section and saw that costume accessories were fairly cheap. He bought himself a red sweater, and now his character feels more like him.
He noticed someone trailing behind Joel, a blazing head of fire and red eyes. It took him a while to realize that this was Tango Tek from Hermitopia. When he spoke, both Gria and Joel cranked their neck at him, surprised he could speak. Hermitopia had no voice lines. Despite this fact, Joel excitedly conversed with Tango, prompting him to speak more. Gria excused himself, confused at how this was possible.
He went off to gather more resources before he headed to the village. He saw Big B yet again, and his cheeks flushed at how many times he had seen him by himself. Gria’s a bit awkward around him, but Big B greets him with a smile each time.
Big B: Are you sneaking up on me, G? Gria, giggling: Hello there, B. Whatcha up to? Big B: Trying to survive the first night, and maybe even you? Gria: Well, I don’t think a danger. Not to you. Big B: A danger to my heart, maybe?
Gria bit his lip and walked away. Big B laughed behind him, and he couldn’t fight back his smile. He looked at the ground and saw Martyn’s faint green name tag. He grinned and turned to Big B, “Wanna scare Martyn?”
They made their way down Martyn’s mining hole, carefully, and they tried not to giggle like a bunch of kids sneaking out in the middle of the night. Gria heard Martyn, talking to himself, and he approached him behind before shouting, “Hey Martyn!”
The three hang around together in the mining hole, chatting and bickering while hoping to find diamonds. Martyn succeeds and even gives them two diamonds each for a sword. The two were dumbfounded at this generosity, and Gria gave Martyn his golden apple in return.
Martyn: I just gave you guys diamonds because we’re buddies, c’mon. Gria: You know what, you can have my most prized golden apple. Martyn: Ooh, what’s this do? Gria: It gives you extra hearts when you eat it. Martyn: You’re giving me hearts? Way to make Big B a third wheel. Big B: Oh my god.
Gria exploded into laughter at this, and Big B shook his head but smiled at the situation.
After the sun had risen, he parted ways with the two and spent his time around the village and looking for a place to stay. He came across another nametag below the ground, and he thought it might’ve been Jimmy. He went down and surprised the man, only to find that it wasn’t Jimmy.
When he heard Tango speak a while ago, he couldn’t figure out how it was possible. However, he did know of a game around an AI girlfriend who wouldn’t let you leave the house unless you said the right words. To think █████ could add such a feature, for AI to understand and speak back to you, all in a year is quite impressive and he would like to ask him more as soon as they finish playing. He didn’t listen carefully when Tango spoke earlier, and it might’ve been more robotic than he remembered. But now, as Ren screamed in surprise and spoke how Gria spooked the hell out of him, it sounded too much like a real person’s voice.
After mining a bit, Gria went out to the world and built a base at a lovely ravine area. Unfortunately, his resources weren’t enough to make it look pretty, and he suddenly missed the creative freedom he had while playing Hermitopia.
After being alone for so long. He made his way back to the village. Much to his surprise, so many people were there. At the side of the village, a group of characters in iron gear approached him. They excitedly called out his nametag, Grian, to greet him. Just like Ren and Tango’s voices, they all sounded so real. Too real.
Martyn, Big B, Jimmy, Skizz, and Joel were nowhere to be seen. He was surrounded by characters from a game he spent countless hours playing. They talk and bicker like they are real people, and they sound like real people would. Gria would never be able to think of better voices for them.
Among the four of them, one stood out the most. He had disheveled hair and a huge scar on his face that went down his neck. Despite having a cape and scarf covering most of his torso, Gria can’t pry his eyes off his huge, exposed right tit.
Completely distracted, something suddenly fell into his hands. It took him a while to process that this man held his hands and gave him flint and steel. Gria looked up, meeting the man’s eyes, and he had this devilish grin that made Gria’s knees weak. He turned his head higher and looked at the man’s nametag, “Scar Goodtimes”
Scar put his arm around Gria and made him face the village, and one of the houses were burning.
Scar: It was Grian! It was him who did it!
Gria couldn’t move. He couldn’t process what was happening, and he couldn’t care less about how Tango and Etho were trying their best to put out the fire. The man beside him, probably more than 6 feet tall, is Scar Goodtimes. He’s way different from what he remembered, he had shorter hair and markings instead of actual scars, but when he spoke, Gria might’ve melted into the ground if the man didn’t have his arm around him.
Scar: Geez, Grian, what a rapscallion burning down villages.
Scar grinned at him and gave him a wink. It was as if Gria’s hardware crashed. Cleo, BDubs, and Impulse were all talking to him, even playing their jukebox for him, but his mind was filled with one thing and one thing only.
“His voice is so hot. His voice is so hot. His voice is so hot. His voice is so hot. His voice is so hot. His voice is so hot. His voice is so hot. His voice is so hot. His voice is so hot. His voice is so hot. His voice is so hot. His voice is so hot. His voice is so hot. His voice is so—”
Something nudged Gria, and Scar was so close to his face that Gria thought he could be hallucinating. Scar whispered into his ear, asking for the flint and steel back, and he complied without a second thought. He gave him a grin before he ran off to the village. Etho and Tango followed suit in panic.
Gria finally breathed. He doesn’t know how this could be possible. He had organized an unofficial voice cast for Hermitopia before, but the chosen voice actor was so off the mark, and everyone else liked it but Gria. But now, Scar’s whisper loops in his head, and he would go to war just to argue that no actor can replicate the sound his ears had been blessed with.
While talking to Etho and Impulse, he saw the historical tree burn. Scar walked in stride and stood beside Gria, waiting for Etho to take notice. Gria and Scar share a mischievous smile as Etho runs to the burning tree. Scar watched the tree burn down, and Gria watched the fire illuminate his face.
Scar: Grian, want to take over the desert with me? Gria: Me? Scar: Yeah, you. Let’s make all the sand ours.
This marks the End of Prologue
Next > ACT ONE: STUCK IN THE DESERT
ENDING NOTES: Took a while to finish this one! supposedly there's more, but it was getting too long so I had to cut it here. The next update will be a bigger one, so it might take months before that is posted. I also plan to do more character design before moving forward with the actual life series events. If you've read this far, thank you for reading!
#desertduo#scarian#trafficshipping#hermitshipping#grian#goodtimeswithscar#life series#mcyt#AU - Scarian Death Game#my art#my writing#Icarus and the Sunflower
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Short DPXDC prompt #2, from @stealingyourbones.
“It’ll be good for you!” Dick threw an arm around Tim’s shoulders as he beamed his way through Gotham U’s campus.
“I could have done this online. They have virtual degrees. I could have hacked my way into one.”
“Yeah, but then you wouldn’t get the authentic experience!”
The group arrived at the dorm building, one of many, and Damian gave it a dubious once over.
“If this is authentic, I refuse to be a part of the locals.” Damian quietly remarked, before peering cautiously at Dick. “I have obtained my degrees. I do not need this experience.”
“It’s really not that bad, guys.”
“How would you know? You went to Blüdhaven for college.” Tim retorted with the voice of a young man resigned to despair. “You lived off campus and your door pin was Zitka’s birthday, month first then date second.”
“… Tim, why the fuck do you know that.”
“When I knocked on your door, that was just common courtesy. I didn’t actually need you to open it. I could have opened it myself.”
Dick’s smile brightens even further, with the light of an LED bulb instead of his usual sun, and places a hand on Tim’s head. “You’re creepy sometimes, you know that?”
“And you’re careless sometimes, you know that?” Tim groused. “Ugh, whatever. Let’s just get this over with. I can’t believe I’m going to have a roommate.”
“It’ll be fun! And if it isn’t, you can always swap roomies. We have enough pull to have that happen.”
“Doubtlessly.” Damian said. “This campus barely passes the bar of acceptability. Why is the campus like this. Why is it incorporated into the city.”
Tim smirked. Even though Damian spoke with formal language only found in the highest of echelons of society, Jon’s influence was beginning to make itself known. Good for him, the little shit. Privately, Tim thought the presence of a Kryptonian brought out the better sides of a bat. God knows Kon did, for him.
“Okay, enough whining you two! Let’s get Tim settled in.”
Tim elbowed Dick in the gut and kept walking into the building as his big brother wheezed dramatically. Damian rolled his eyes- he’s seen Nightwing take harder hits than Drake’s pointy elbows and walk it off- and followed. Unbeknownst to them, Dick all but beamed with joy at their solidarity. His plan was working.
——
Tim settled into the dorm, disgruntled at the small and uncomfortable twin mattress. The dorm smelt of faint mildew, had at least ten safety code violations, and had ventilation that probably hasn’t been cleaned since the last fear gas attack. The vent thing honestly might explain the state of Gotham U’s students and their proclivities to become supervillains. Tim is more tempted to go into villainy than ever before with these conditions.
That is, until his roomie walked in.
Step 1) reboot brain.
Holy shit, his roomie was HOT.
Step 2) notice all the weird things his roomie all showed unconsciously. Too graceful. Walking carefully, like how Kon does sometimes when he’s remembering to be careful with his fragile surroundings. Meta? Too sharp teeth.
Wait. Sharp teeth?
“Uh, hi. I’m Danny. You must be my roommate. Tim, right?” The guy, Danny, had a deep voice. And too sharp teeth. Because he smiled. It was a damn nice smile.
Step 3) bi panic. DID TIM MENTION HE WAS HOT??
“Uh. Hi. Yeah, I’m Tim.”
“Cool. What’re you majoring in?”
“Forensic Analysis. You?”
“Aerospace engineering.”
They looked at each other awkwardly. “Cool, I’m just gonna set my stuff down.”
“You’re not from here, right?” Tim asked and promptly flushed when an amused smile gets thrown his way.
“The accent give it away?”
“Yeah. Uh. You want a tour, man?”
“Sure. Thanks.”
——
It was flashes of things.
“Oh. I don’t go anywhere without my thermos.” Danny smiled, patting the dented thing. Except, Tim’s never seen him drink from it.
Or:
“Oh, woah. Food’s not attacking me.” And the thing is, Danny actually looked apprehensive before poking at the cafeteria food.
What??
And a month passes before Tim realizes he’s one hundred percent absolutely fucked.
Because it’s one thing if it’s an extremely attractive dork with brains and humor.
It’s an entirely different thing if the extremely attractive dork with brains and humor was a complete and total mystery. Tim is an absolute sucker for mysteries. It’s even more attractive than smacking him in the face with a brick!
“Hey, Tim?”
“Uh. Yeah?” Tim screamed at himself. He’s dated like fifteen different people! Why the hell is he so awkward with Danny?
(Tim was always awkward. He has that autistic rizz.)
“Tell me more about blood splatters?” Danny asked with a hopeful smile. Tim folded like wet paper. (It helps that he knows a lot- too much- about analyzing blood splatters.)
——
Outside of their window, Nightwing cackled to himself. It was worth using the Wayne name to get Tim the most interesting college kid Dick could find as a roommate. Who said Tim had the market corner on stalking anyways?
Nightwing flipped off of the roof, all but skipping home.
Robin, his patrol partner for the night, grimaced. For all Richard was his favorite, the man unsettled him at times.
#nightwing being nightwing#nightwing is a manipulative little shit#you can not change my mind#DCxDP#dpxdc#Tim Drake#Damian Wayne#dead tired#college au kind of#prompt fill#dc x dp writing prompt#danny fenton#they were roommates#oh my god they were roommates
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not nothing
@steddiebingo prompt: friends to lovers | 1.6k words | T | 3+1 fic (three times steve and eddie kissed drunk + one time sober)
"Never have I ever...kissed someone sober," Eddie says, sitting on the floor in the living room of his and Steve's apartment with Steve, Robin, and Nancy. The girls are in town from college for a long weekend, and they've taken it upon themselves to fill Steve and Eddie in on the college experience of playing drinking games.
They all (except Eddie of course) take a sip of their drinks at Eddie's statement. They also all look at him with varying degrees of surprise, confusion, or maybe even concern at this information.
“What, really?” Robin asks.
“Uh huh.” He doesn't think it's that crazy. He certainly doesn't think it's all that unexpected from him either. They all know he's never had a proper boyfriend before or anything, and he’s not particularly looking for one either. He's perfectly happy with his life as it is and the people in it. A handful of drunken experiences at clubs and parties is more than enough for him.
Steve frowns at him. “No, that can't be true. You and I have kissed before.”
“Yeah, while drunk.”
“You guys have kissed?” asks Nancy, her eyes slightly wide as if she's more shocked by this fact than the previous one.
“Yeah,” Eddie repeats, “while drunk.”
“And how often does that happen?” Nancy continues to question. God, it's like an interrogation in here all of the sudden.
“It's only been like…” Steve shrugs, glancing at Eddie like he's trying to remember. “What, a couple times?”
“Three times,” Eddie says, “I think.” As if he could ever forget, as if he can't still recall each and every instance in vivid technicolor. No matter how drunk he'd been, kissing Steve Harrington has a way of burning itself into the memory of even the most alcohol-soaked of minds.
1.
The first time it happened, Steve had been in a slump for weeks after getting broken up with, and Eddie, tired of watching him sullenly skulk about their apartment like a ghost, had finally dragged him out to the club, making it his own personal mission to find him a stranger to kiss to help him get over his ex. They took too many shots and danced to shitty pop music while Eddie kept an eye out for anyone who looked like they might be Steve’s type. Steve only frowned and shook his head at every girl Eddie pointed out.
After about 7 shots and Eddie’s 12th attempt to nudge him towards somebody, Steve had rolled his eyes in annoyance and shouted over the music, “If you want me to be kissed so badly, why don’t you do it?”
So Eddie did. No thought at all, just grabbed him and kissed him. Steve stiffened slightly in surprise like he hadn’t actually expected him to do it, but then he kissed back almost immediately, and there they were: making out messily on the dance floor with flashing lights and too-loud music thudding like a heartbeat all around them.
It felt like dancing; fun, mindless movements, heat and warmth and thrill. It felt like taking another shot; blood turned to fire and mind dazing over.
Eddie woke up the next morning still feeling it on his lips.
They talked about it, briefly, in the kitchen over coffee after commiserating together about their mutual hangovers. “It’s not weird that we kissed, right?” Eddie asked, just checking. He couldn’t tell yet if he felt weird about it himself or not.
“Nah, of course not,” Steve had brushed it off with a wave of his hand and a good-natured grin. “I used to kiss my friends all the time, it’s not a big deal.”
So it wasn’t a big deal. And they didn’t talk about it again.
2.
The second time it happened was at a 4th of July house party thrown by a friend of an acquaintance, since all of their own friends were out of town. The place was full of people they didn't know who all knew each other, so they had a few drinks and tried to mingle but eventually they both ended up alone together on a balcony, relieved to be in only familiar company, quietly watching the beginnings of neighborhood fireworks crackle in the indigo sky.
“I’m bored,” Eddie announced, the quiet making him itchy and the alcohol in his veins making him want to do something.
“Me too.” Steve finished off his drink of about 90% vodka and 10% Sprite (which Eddie knew because he was drinking the same exact thing, having poured them both himself at the free self-serve bar), and glanced sideways at him. “Wanna make out?”
“Yeah, sure,” Eddie agreed without question. He set his drink aside and Steve's lips were on his in a matter of seconds.
3.
The third time it happened, they didn’t even need to ask anymore, not really. They were out, just the two of them, drunk on a nightclub dance floor again and Steve just wordlessly lifted his hands as if to hold Eddie’s face and raised his eyebrows. Eddie shrugged, why the hell not, and leaned in.
+1.
They were nothing, those kisses, just a fun thing with a friend. Brushed past and moved on from easily, not buried in shame or secrecy but simply inconsequential and not worth lingering on, then and now. Nancy’s still got this look like she thinks there’s more of a story here, but she too moves on with the conversation as the game of Never Have I Ever continues, and Steve and Eddie’s drunk kisses are brushed past once again. No big deal. Nothing.
Eddie is just fine with that. He doesn’t mind it all being nothing, because if it’s not nothing - if he lets himself think even for a second that it’s not nothing - then to him it would be everything. And that’s simply too much.
But anyways, he's not lingering on it. The party goes on and Eddie's taking a drink at Robin’s “Never have I ever kissed a man,” and it's all forgotten now.
At least, he expects it to be all forgotten. But then the next morning he's sitting in the kitchen eating fucking toast when Steve walks in, pauses for a second, and then asks, “Have you really actually never kissed anyone while sober?”
“Uh, yeah,” Eddie confirms, mouth full. “Really actually.”
Steve puts a bagel in the toaster then leans back against the counter as he looks at Eddie. “Would you want to?”
Eddie blinks, swallows his mouthful of toast. “What, are you offering?”
“Yeah.” Steve shrugs. Like it's nothing. “I mean, if you want. It's not like we've never kissed before.”
“Right, yeah.” Eddie sets down his half-eaten toast, the bread sticking to the inside of his mouth now, too dry all of the sudden. “I just, um. I think I’d probably be bad at it sober. You know, like, I’d get too in my head about it or whatever.”
Steve shrugs that off too, smiles and makes light of it, “I don't care. Even if you were bad at it, I’m willing to bet you real money you probably still wouldn't be the worst kiss I've ever had.”
Eddie laughs, grateful for Steve's humor and reassurance, but still he shakes his head. The mere suggestion is already making his heartbeat faster and his face feel warmer, and he can't let himself get like this, not over Steve. Not over nothing. “Yeah, I still just- I still just shouldn't though.”
“Okay,” Steve says simply. His bagel pops out of the toaster and his attention diverts to plating the two bagel halves and spreading them with cream cheese. Eddie, assuming that's the end of the conversation, relaxes somewhat and resumes his breakfast. But then Steve's turning around, taking his seat at the kitchen table opposite Eddie, and asking, “Not that it matters at all, but can I ask why?”
“I already told you-”
“Yeah, you think you’ll be bad at it, I know. But that's not the only reason, I can tell.”
Eddie shoves the rest of his toast in his mouth to avoid the responsibility of an immediate reply. He stands and takes his plate to the sink. Only with his back turned does he find the courage to answer honestly. “Because it wouldn't be nothing,” he admits as he rinses off his plate, hoping just a little bit that the running water might drown out his words. “If I kissed you sober, I think it would mean something to me. I think it would really, really mean something to me.”
A pause - an awful, agonizing pause in which Eddie, certain he's just fucked up a perfectly good friendship, seriously considers sticking his head under the faucet and attempting to drown himself - and then Steve says, barely louder than the water, “And you think it wouldn't to me?”
Eddie immediately shuts off the sink and turns to look at him. “Would it?”
“Yeah.” Steve's eyes have gone soft. “Eddie, it always has. Why do you think I'm asking? Why do you think I've been asking?” He smiles, a little sheepishly and with a self-deprecating shrug. “I was just…trying to play it cool.”
There are so many ways Eddie could respond to that, ranging from incredulous to teasing, but a wave of fondness rolls through him so completely there's really only one thing he can say: “Get over here and kiss me right now.”
Steve wastes no time in standing up and moving towards him, and Eddie rushes to meet him in the middle. They crash into each other, bodies colliding and hands gripping tight, but when their lips meet it's surprisingly gentle.
Eddie's first sober kiss happens right there in the kitchen, barefoot in his pajamas with his roommate, his best friend, Steve Harrington; and it couldn’t be more perfect. And it's everything.
#they say write what you know and all i know is drunk kissing the homies#steddiebingo2025#steddie#steddie fic#steddie ficlet#eddie munson#steve harrington#stranger things#ficlet#mine
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stuffs and things!! :DD
#just me hi#SO let me talk my fingers off now :333#//I GOT MY EYE EXAM YESTERDAAAAY :DDDDDDD#SO happy!! and it was my first exam and the doctor's assistant said i did a Good job so :DDDDD#i'll have my glasses in a week or so!!!!! how cool!!!!!!!!!#/also i might like having doctor's visits more than i should Hbvdshv#the people there so nice what the heck!! the assistant was very nice and explained the things she was doing and Yea :DDD#/also bc i've been like. pretty nearsighted for like 5 years i'm apparently Super good with reading the Blurriest Letters on the Planet#and i confused the assistant a Lot hfvbsh ;ᗜ;#/and i'm 100% Not colourblind so GUESS who KNOWS what the colour red looks like !!!!! [<- artist in a 2 week-long debate with their mother]#/i didn't like the air puffs on my eyes tho. not very good hfbvhs#// i Also got a water bottle yesterday!!#why is this so cool? because it has a little sip-straw#why is that So neat? because i can't have cups in the room because i'm rly forgetful and might spill them (personal rule lol)#and i'm really bad at remembering to drink water!! but i noticed i have some sort of nervous habit where i like to just Sip Liquids! (don't#ask why it took so long for me to figure this out KJFVH) so the Sipper [<- water-bottle with straw's name] was the most sensible thing to#own rn Hfvshf#i've drank So Much water today. i'm so proud of myself :333#//also i have some redesign stuff for p1nk space and not.a.z.f so !!!#very excited for Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat :DDDDDD#//OH and my skates are coming soon!! dunno when but every time i think of them i get Super happy so ehehehe :DDDD#//NOW. off and about !!
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Some facts about Lucanis (and also Spite and the Crows) gathered from the banters
I went through all companion banters on DanaDuchy's channel after playing the game to write down all facts about companions/the world that I haven't seen brought up anywhere in the game as a writing reference (and for funsies).
Note: This list may not be exhaustive. I might have missed some something or didn't write it down because I considered it common knowledge. If you have anything to add, please DM me or send an ask! (do specify what banter the information is coming from, though)
Note 2: Posts from this series (mostly) don't include information from banters specific to quests or between companions and faction members. I plan to do another playthrough to capture more of those and will add any relevant info to the character posts.
Other characters' posts: Bellara, Davrin, Harding, Emmrich, Neve, Taash. I'm also planning a post about just the Lighthouse some time later
About Lucanis:
Family and the past:
Lucanis learnt to cook while helping the kitchen staff at the villa when he was a little boy. One of his motivations was learning how to make churros
Side note: Lucanis mentions that cioccolata calda was his favourite drink when he was a baby, and he serves churros to a romanced Rook who picks cioccolata calda as their favourite drink. It’s all coming together!
Lucanis wanted to be a Crow when he was a child (at least most of the time)
All of Lucanis's relatives were Crows as well, and all of them were killed by a rival Crow house
Lucanis says Caterina would be proud of Illario hiding his plans well, as well as killing her
Lucanis says that the hard part about setting Illario free would be convincing Caterina
Lucanis says that nightlife was more of Illario's thing, and he never got out as much
On Crows and Antiva:
Viago still stares daggers at Lucanis for throwing his (Viago's) pet snake out of the window in a dream
Lucanis doesn't like it when people confuse murder and assassination ("Murderers are hobbyists, we are professionals")
Lucanis has taken contracts in Orlais
Lucanis doesn’t know Treviso as well as he once used to
Heir didn’t train Lucanis
Lucanis says he has never killed an innocent “by his count” (other people may disagree)
Lucanis doesn’t think of the Crows as a “big organisation” (unlike the Inquisition) because they stab each other too much
Lucanis became a mage-killer at Caterina’s behest (she wanted to tap into new markets)
The nickname “The Demon of Vyrantium” came from Tevinter news-sheets, though Lucanis thinks Viago started it
Lucanis says that there aren't any special tricks to killing mages. Though, if nothing else works, you can try pissing them off, as that could attract a demon that would eat the mage
Lucanis once killed half a dozen venatori while stuck inside an elevator
Lucanis doesn’t consider himself a gentleman assassin, manners are less important than getting the job done
Lucanis sometimes spares his targets. He mentioned letting go of a servant who killed her master, as well as a 14-year-old boy. He thinks it’s wrong to kill people so young because they still have time to change
Lucanis doesn’t accept contracts without merit, and the merit is decided by the talon of the house
General:
Lucanis can make bread
Lucanis has never been to Ferelden
Lucanis isn’t interested in killing wyverns, just looking at them :)
Lucanis has a pet snake
Lucanis stays awake at night by cleaning his gear, exercising, studying Orlesian and knitting ("it’s just another kind of blade work")
Lucanis doesn’t understand a lot of things people find attractive
(In a conversation with Harding) Thinking about cooking was one of the things that helped Lucanis stay sane in the Ossuary (the other was thinking about killing his enemies)
(In a conversation with Davrin) Lucanis survived the Ossuary by shutting down and not thinking about anything except escaping
These two points sort of contradict each other. Either an inconsistency or Lucanis describing his experience differently to different people.
The Wetlands ruined at least one pair of Lucanis’s boots
(If Rook chooses to save Treviso) Lucanis offers to pay for any supplies the Shadow Dragons may need
Lucanis doesn't get a better bed because he's afraid of accidentally falling asleep
Lucanis can identify the killer’s weapon and the height difference between them and the target just through the blood splatter left at the scene
Lucanis considers Grey Wardens dangerous
Lucanis doesn’t like necromancy, because bringing people back to life is a waste of hard work
Lucanis finds the ice coffee from Minrathous offensive (Harding describes it as “snow, but made of coffee, sweet, and with cream and toffee sauce on top”)
Lucanis had never been in a romantic relationship before Rook/Neve
Relationships with other companions:
Lucanis gets into reading Bellara’s serials (very passionately - they chat about it a bunch)
Lucanis is outraged that the Veil Jumpers don’t get paid for their work and offers Bellara his contract negotiator
Lucanis made biscuits for Assan
Lucanis is sceptical that the griffons will be safe with the Wardens
Lucanis think that Assan shouldn’t go soft (referring to the time he took care of a halla) because he is a predator at heart
(If Emmrich becomes a lich) Lucanis offers to hold a funeral for Manfred
Lucanis and Harding talk a lot about dreams (mostly silly things like showing up naked for the job, getting chased by someone/something etc.)
Lucanis thinks Harding is deadly with her bow
Lucanis offers to pay Harding for being his lookout/aide at the rate of 6000 gold per contract
Lucanis offers the help of his contract negotiator to Neve after he finds out she doesn't have one
Lucanis made deep-fried peppers for Taash
About Spite:
Emmrich can hear Spite even when he doesn’t take over Lucanis’s body (at least from a close distance)
Spite is impartial to Emmrich, believing him more than Lucanis
Emmrich says it’s impossible to separate Spite and Lucanis without killing them
Emmrich encourages Lucanis to read to Spite to bring them closer. Lucanis agrees to let Spite pick a book
(If Emmrich becomes a lich) Spite asks if he and Lucanis can get rid of their skin too
(If Manfred is revived at the Necropolis) Spite asks Emmrich to teach him how to use fire magic. Lucanis isn’t thrilled by the idea
Emmrich sets up wards to prevent Spite from leaving the room when Lucanis is asleep
Spite no longer sleepwalks after “Inner Demons” because he apparently understood the concept of space
By the end of the game, Spite has agreed to stop sleepwalking completely
Spite controls the wings (confirmed in banter with Harding)
Spite wants to try swinging off the astrolabe at the Lighthouse
Spite is very excited about Manfred having hands and feet (Curiosity. Has. Feet!)
Spite finds the wisps in Neve’s room unnerving (as do Lucanis and Neve)
Spite likes to play with whetstones Bellara got for Lucanis (Bellara got them from the Irelin who supposedly got them from somewhere in Arlathan)
Spite wants to try eating self-lightning candles at Blackthorne Manor
About the Crows:
Crows frequently visit Nevarra and have received 20 contacts to assassinate the king. The King has been poisoned 7 times
Crows get a lot of contracts for Divine Victoria
Some seers in Rivain are powerful enough that there are contracts on them as well
Caterina once killed a man with a thimble
When Crows kill someone, most of the time they want others to know it was them (rather than presenting the death as an accident)
The crows buried six different Eight Talons and rarely take contracts in Ferelden after the Zevran fiasco
#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age#veilguard spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#neve gallus#caterina dellamorte#emmrich volkarin#spite#lace harding#datv banters#meta#references#flowers.txt#flowers blogs
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Right Here, Waiting
Roommate!Bucky Barnes x Curvy!Fem!Reader
PART 2 > >
Summary: You’re pining after your insanely attractive roommate, but are convinced he doesn’t feel the same way.
Prompts: Roommate AU for @avengers-assemble-bingo’s 108th Birthday Celebration & you can’t lose something you never had for @elixirfromthestars’s cinema writing challenge 🎥
Warnings: strictly 18+, talk of sex, TRIGGER WARNING internal monologue references reader having issues with weight & eating, sucking in her stomach, VERY insecure reader, angst in the form of belief of unrequited love, jealousy, idiots in love
Word count: 3.6k
A/N: as the winner of this very close poll, here is a little roommate AU with our beloved Bucky 🩵 banners by @vase-of-lilies
Masterlist | Ask me anything! | Taglist | Library

“You’re telling me you share an apartment with a man who looks like that and you haven’t fucked him?” Natasha stares after your roommate as he heads to the bar to grab the drink he promised to purchase you for losing a bet the weekend before.
“Men and women can just be friends you know.”
“If my roommate looked like yours, I’d be jumping his bones every chance I got.”
He’s way out of my league, and as much as I might want him, he doesn’t think of me like that, is the rather depressing thought that has been replayed on loop in your mind since the devilishly attractive yet sweet as an angel Bucky Barnes moved in with you.
But instead of voicing aloud your insecurity, you simply hum in agreement. It’s easier than trying to explain your one sided crush that’s only ever going to end in heartache.
“Well if you’re not interested, do you mind if I go for it? Pretty sure he’d be the best sex of my life.” Your heart drops through your stomach like an anvil. The thought of Bucky being intimate with anyone, let alone your best friend, is enough to send you into a spiral.
Nat’s much more the type he’d go for anyway, beautiful, skinny, quick witted. Everything you’re not. She’s always the one who gets attention from guys at places like this, whereas you’re the ‘approachable one’ who gets asked if Nat’s single.
No one’s ever interested in you, especially not when you’re sitting next to your much hotter, thinner best friend.
“C’mon, there’s lots of guys here you could take home. You really have to make things awkward by sleeping with my roommate?” You try to sound as calm and collected as possible, but the lump in your throat betrays you.
Nat gives you a knowing look, seeing straight through your weak facade. She is your best friend after all, and knows you better than practically anyone in the world. “Of course I wouldn't, darling - I’m just trying to get you to admit you like him.”
There’s something almost worse about Nat knowing you’re crushing on Bucky - she can be so incessant, honing in on something and making it her mission to see it come to fruition, even if it’s to a bitter end. Which is exactly how your one sided crush will play out if she tries pushing you together.
You have an understanding which she hasn’t grasped yet that Bucky would never be attracted to you like that, and you’d rather spare your poor heart from his rejection and find a way to be content with friendship than risk hearing you’re too big, too unattractive, too much not his type for anything to happen.
“Can we just drop it. We’re roommates, nothing more.” But you know Nat’s incapable of letting something go once she’s got her claws sunk into it. You mostly love her for it, but in this one instance, it’s a right pain in the ass.
“You know if you give it a chance, you might find he likes you too. He’s got a smitten little smile for you.”
This is what you’re afraid of. Hope.
The buoyant feeling in your chest which swells as you picture what dating Bucky might actually be like. How soft his lips would be against yours, how he’d mumble sweet devotions against your skin before tasting every inch of you, how in a room packed to the brim like the bar you’re in now, his eyes search for yours and everyone else in the periphery fades into nonexistence because you are the focal point of his entire world.
But it’s that blind belief which will tear your heart to tatters. Hope will be your cause of death in the end. The expectation of a happy outcome despite all available evidence which will be your ultimate downfall.
“Don’t be ridiculous, look at him, there’s no way he’d ever be interested in me.” But yet, despite how much you tell yourself you’re destined for heartbreak, you can’t quite snuff out that last ember of hope deep in your chest when Bucky turns around with your drink in his hand and smiles reflexively as his eyes set on you all the way across the room.
“I hate it when you put yourself down like that.” There’s a glint in Nat’s eye like she wants to say more, but she notices Bucky returning from the bar and the words die in the back of her throat.
“Here you go, Sunrise.” His nickname for you ignites a flame in both your cheeks, and you’re forced to look down at the table in attempts to hide your reaction. He started calling you that within the first week of moving in, realising your love for staying up to read all night, until the sun came up the following day.
You try not to read into it too much that you are the only person you know of that Bucky has a nickname for. He’s just being friendly. A nice roommate.
“That’s the last time I bet you anything to do with food. Clearly you can eat and drink me under the table any day.” You know he’s just teasing about your bet, who could eat more spicy Indian food without needing to take a drink to subdue the burning heat on your tongue, but any comment related to the amount of food you eat or your weight always hits a little too close to home.
“Thanks Bucky.” Taking your drink from him, your fingers brush, sending goosebumps shivering down your arm, and his dazzling blue eyes regard you with what your hopeful heart believes is warm adoration. “At least you’re not being a sore loser this time round.”
“Excuse you, I’ve never been a sore loser. You just like to bend the rules to suit yourself.” He retorts before taking a sip of his beer, and you find it impossible to look away from how his perfectly plump lips cover the opening and his Adam’s apple bobs as he takes a sip.
You are so far gone for him.
“Sore loser.” You call in a sing-song voice that makes him chuckle in that way you can feel down to your bones. “Don’t blame me just because you can’t handle the heat, Barnes.”
His finger traces a light trail down your bare forearm which lights your skin on fire. You’re not even sure Bucky’s aware he’s doing it, it seems so casually intimate, such a soft touch as his eyes bore into yours, but it sends your brain into a meltdown.
“Oh Sunrise, you don’t know the kind of heat I can bring if I really tried.”
His face is so close to yours you can smell the beer on his breath and see how he wets his lips with a swipe of his tongue. He’s got these freckles scattered along his high cheekbones which reach the tips of his ears, that you want to place delicate kisses to, learn the constellations of pigmentation over his body so you could point them out blindfolded.
And those fucking eyes, they’re impossible not to fall in love with. Those saxe eyes which hold so much wonder and tenderness, which seems to pool in the slightly darker flecks at the centre. You really would be perfectly content if those eyes were the last you ever see, being lured underneath the waves of blue to your doom, but like a siren's victim, you’d dive in with a smile on your face.
There’s a cough from your left which breaks the trance Bucky’s eyes have you in. You would never admit it aloud, but you’d forgotten, just for a brief moment, that your best friend was at the table with you.
Nat’s looking at you with a bold grin and you know before she even opens her mouth that she’s about to say something cheeky and probably completely against your wishes to keep your yearning devotion a secret.
“I’m gonna go up to the bar and see if I can flirt my way to scoring a shot.” She announces as she stands, a shameless look passing between you and Bucky. “Some of us don’t have sex personified living in the next room we can flirt with to buy us free alcohol. You kids have fun continuing whatever that was. Just make sure to use protection.”
Nat walks off without another word, but after her quip, you find you can’t look Bucky quite in the eye.
You’re positive in this moment he’ll laugh at the insinuation that anything remotely romantic or sexual exists between you two and you brace yourself for the puncture to your heart.
But instead, he just looks at you with those big blue eyes and smiles warmly, as if Nat had simply commented about needing to use the restroom to excuse her absence.
“Sex personified, huh? Is that what you two were whispering about behind my back before?” You might just burst into flames if you actually admit that to him, but the cocky smirk he shoots you suggests he is already fully aware how much sex appeal he has.
It feels like your heart is beating in your throat as you answer and you pray he can’t hear the difference in your voice.
“No, not that it’s any of your business, but don’t act like you don’t know how gorgeous you are Barnes.”
There’s a sparkle in his eye as he smiles and scrunches his nose in that way which makes your tummy somersault. You could be fooled into thinking you were back in your apartment alone with him, the only girl within a hundred miles with the way his pupils grow wide and fixate solely on you in this bar crowded with people much more alluring than yourself.
You shake your head, almost imperceptibly, trying to rid your mind of sanguine thoughts that are just setting you up to be greatly disappointed.
You can’t get your hopes up.
There’s a dartboard which becomes available beside your table and you stand with your drink. “C’mon, last weekend you told me you’d show me how to play this ridiculous game and I’m holding you to that.”
It’s not that you don’t already understand the principle of darts, but when Bucky promises to spend more time with you, you’re not about to turn him down.
There’s this gleam in his eye you can’t quite place as he stands and follows you to the dark corner of the bar. You want to believe it’s something of endearment at calling him ‘gorgeous’, a fondness he reserves only for you, but you try reminding yourself that’s the kind of false hope you’ve been desperately shoveling out of your chest and you have to be stronger to not allow such optimistic concepts to penetrate through your defences.
Bucky quickly goes through the rules you were vaguely familiar with already, then shows you how it’s done by throwing two darts into the single twenty score area and then hitting a bullseye. He looks proud of himself too, and it brings a smile to your face just how cute he looks. Is he trying so hard to impress you?
Pushing that thought from your mind, you step up to take your aim. Your first throw goes very astray, not even hitting the dartboard at all, but instead sticking into the wood panelling about a foot below it.
You feel horrified that you’ve just embarrassed yourself, not only in front of Bucky, but the entire bar. Looking around with a sheepish grimace, you find fortunately no one is paying any attention to you, and when your eyes land on Bucky, you can’t help but both burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter that lasts so long you’re cheeks start to hurt.
“It takes a special kind of talent to miss by that much Sunrise.” He snickers, but his eyes still softly gaze at you even as he teases.
“Shut up, it’s my first attempt.” You playfully rib back.
“C’mere, let me show you.” He stands at your back, so close you can smell his aftershave, a spicy cinnamon that reminds you of home, as his touch ghosts along your arms.
He fiddles with your fingers, delicately directing them where he wants them on the dart. You’re pliant to his every command, conforming to the stance he wants you in, you even tilt your head up when he uses two fingers under your chin to carefully guide your eye line to where he wants it.
Holding the small projectile in line with your eyes, you’re extremely aware that Bucky’s examining you, gazing at your profile, the curve of your nose, the undulations of your lips. You feel exposed, like he’s critiquing you, but when the outcome of that is him beaming a besotted smile in your direction, you feel like you must have done something right.
You let the dart fly, barely able to concentrate on where it’s going, too caught up in how close Bucky is, how his hand rests on your waist like he was made to hold you, how his broad chest behind you is as solid as a wall, yet would be the perfect place to rest your head as you fell to sleep every night.
It punctures into the board this time, scoring a measly four points, but it’s sufficient for Bucky to wrap his arms around your middle, rest his head on your shoulder and give you a squeeze as he lowers his husky voice in your ear. “There you go, great job Sunrise.”
You try not to think about how large your stomach is as he holds you, sucking in slightly, instead trying to savour the feeling of being in his arms. If he recognises how fast your heart is now beating against his chest, he doesn’t mention it.
The two of you continue to play your game, forgetting all about the hearty atmosphere of the bar, just enjoying each other's company, and your atrocious attempt at beating Bucky in a game he’s had far too much experience with.
You suspect he downplays his skill - you hope to spend more time alone with you, but more than likely just so you don’t feel completely embarrassed by your endeavours.
Once he’s beaten you for a second time, you find a free table to set yourselves, before you go up to the bar to order a second round. You can’t seem to shake the smile off your face as you give the bartender your order. A sense of light optimism builds in your chest, Bucky’s just given up his night to spend with you as you make a fool of yourself playing darts.
He could be out with anyone, giving them all his attention. But instead he’s with you. Eyes softening and an enchanting smile spreading on his features as if he’s already precisely where he wants to be.
You turn to look back at Bucky to find the one thing in the world that could dampen your high spirits.
He’s sitting at the table where you just left him, chatting up one of the most beautiful women you’ve ever seen.
It’s as if someone’s poured a bucket of ice cold water over you. This devastating, borderline nauseating, chasm cleaving your chest in two is exactly why hope is the most dangerous feeling to cultivate unchecked.
She’s absolutely stunning, with shoulder length blonde hair, a glittery, low plunging top that brings out the radiance in her light eyes and accentuates her fit figure. She’s everything you’re not, everything Bucky deserves, and everything that makes you so acutely aware of how much physical space you take up in the world.
How someone as beautiful as Bucky could never be attracted to the likes of you when women like her walk on this earth.
It feels like there’s a cyclone wreaking havoc in your stomach as you watch their interaction. It looks sort of casual, at least given how far they are seated apart in such a noisy room, but there’s an axe carving your heart into splinters at the mere thought of what flirty chat is bouncing between them, the smile curving on his lips, and you find yourself needing to turn away.
You know you can’t lose what was never yours in the first place, but then why does it feel like your soul is disintegrating and being sucked out of your body through a hole in your sternum?
Bucky’s single, the two of you aren’t even remotely dating, you are purely roommates. You just so happened to have a spare room available at the same time he broke up with his ex and needed somewhere to sleep. You were a convenient solution to the awkward situation he found himself in.
And you’ve never been anything more.
He has every right to flirt, fuck and date whomever he pleases. Which decidedly isn’t you.
You search out Nat who’s over by the other side of the room, your extremities almost feeling numb as you walk past so many groups of friends and handsy partners, knowing that the one person who consumes your entire world simply views you as just someone whom he shares a bathroom with and occasionally bets wagers of buying a round of drinks.
She’s flirting with some handsome, tall stranger who appears to have bought her a couple drinks. You don’t want to ruin her night either, but you know she’d be irate if you disappeared without telling her.
All you want is the comfort of your bed, snuggled underneath a mountain of blankets where you can escape into a world where Bucky isn’t flirting with someone who is both much prettier and much thinner than you.
Should you even go home if Bucky brings her back to the apartment where you’d be subjected to listening to the entire affair?
Probably not, but at this point you just need to get out of here, as far away as possible from the scene which is causing your throat to constrict and tears to sting behind your eyes.
You touch Nat on the upper arm to pull her attention. “Imma head home.”
Her line of sight specifically redirects to the table you were seated with Bucky at, to find the source of your crushing heartbreak.
“Alright, then I’m coming with you.”
“No, please stay, have fun, I’m fine it’s just getting a little loud in here.” You lie through your teeth, but after pretending all night you're not about to start admitting your feelings now. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
The look Nat gives you is a clear indication she doesn’t believe your fib, but you simply turn away from her piercing eyes and stalk towards the door, trying to avoid bumping into the crowd of people in your path.
What you don’t realise as you make your hasty exit, head down to avoid watching Bucky flirt with the beautiful blonde, is that he watches with an aching heart as you take every step without so much as saying goodbye - because he notices everything about you, in every scenario, hoping for any fraction of your attention in return.
He swiftly grabs his jacket to chase after you, muttering a quick apology to his coworker he really doesn’t mean. He sees enough of her Monday to Friday for her to consume his weekends as well, especially when it's taking time away which could instead be spent with you.
“Sunrise, wait up!” You hear a very familiar deep voice call from behind you just as you’re about to put on your headphones. You’d know that voice anywhere, even if he hadn’t used your nickname.
“Bucky? What’re you doing?”
“You think I’m gonna let you walk home alone this late at night?” He says with such an ease, as if it were the only possible outcome given the situation. Like he didn’t have a drop dead gorgeous woman in the bar waiting to take him home and do downright pornographic things to him.
“I didn’t mean to ruin your fun. It’s only a couple blocks, I can walk it myself.” You can’t find it in you to feel guilty about pulling him away from the woman inside, especially not when he looks so content having followed you out into the cold night air.
“Firstly, you're daft if you think I’m letting you walk that far by yourself. I’d be worried about you the whole time.” He tilts his head to the side and it reminds you of a sweet puppy gazing at their owner with fondness, willing to pursue them anywhere. “Secondly, you’re not ruining anything. It’s no fun without you there anyway.”
Warmth blooms in your chest that even though it’s just as roommates, you’re the one Bucky’s returning to the apartment with. He’s not going home with Nat, or any other stunning girl he could pull with a single flirty glance. Instead it’s you who he drapes his jacket around when he notices you shivering and slows his large strides to allow you to keep up as you walk casually back home. Taking your time to extend your conversation and absorb the scent of his coat as you pull it tighter around yourself.
Dammit, there’s that incessant hope again.
You really are too enamoured with him for your own good. Even if it wasn’t tonight, you're just setting yourself up for a more agonising downfall in the end.
Part 2 > >
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Hello :)
Just read your ‘unedited blurb’ about the fourth born princess married off to the illegitimate son Lord Riley… now I’m hungry for words. Please don’t let the starving children in Australia die.
It’s so cruel to taunt us with these tasty little snacks and no sustenance. Needs our meats and taters to fight off the drop bears.
x
Part 2 of this, slightly more edited drabble.
You’re a good wife. At least you believe so. You do your duties, you run the house well enough, you speak kindly to the servants and maids and butlers. You keep a smile on, a genuine smile towards everyone. You do tend to splurge on fresh flowers that you place in nearly every corner of the estate but that’s just to brighten up the old walls. You do your absolute best to be as prim and as proper as a wife of the Riley name should be.
But it’s… it’s just not enough.
“Good morning, husband,” you greet upon the top of your stairs, your hand on the rail as you make your way down. You have a hard time catching him long enough to speak to him. He really does live up to his nickname as The Ghost. “I’ve asked the maids to prepare… your…” the words you would’ve said dies when he turns from you. Didn’t even nod this time nor give you the dignity of a short conversation. You sigh, eyes closed before you roll your shoulders and head to the dining area.
Your breakfast sits for you waiting to be eaten and the servants stand at the ready to indulge any desire you might have. The chef here is exceptionally better than the one at the palace but at least that dining room had your sisters. The seats were always filled and the lighter was constant. Your eyes flicker to the doors, hoping against hope that today will be the day your husband eats with you. But alas, across the table sits an empty chair that’s hardly been sat on and food that is getting colder by the minute. Like always.
You eat in silence, striking conversations with the servants is a hard thing to do since they just nod away to what you’re saying. “My husband works too hard.” Speaking aloud but the servant that’s pours your drink merely winces, “please, send his food to his study.” Putting on a smile, this one genuine yet sadder. “Oh, and make sure to warm it for him before you send it.” Giving one last instruction as they go to take his food away.
After breakfast, you make your way to the garden’s greenhouse. It’s your little spot of sunshine that you’ve payed a keen eye to. You love your flowers, this place didn’t have much save for weeds. You’re hoping that once these bloom then you can put them in the house. The large greenhouse isn’t just for soon to be flowers but also where you’ll read. You’ve made a small library for yourself, just the books you took from your home at the palace. Even now, reading seems to be the only way for you to escape a loveless home.
“Mornin’, my lady!” The booming voice of your bodyguard jolts you from your seat and you almost throw your book. You still don’t know why you need one, you never leave the estate anyways. “I ken ye’d be ‘ere,” he smiles and it’s as warm as the sun, a hand settles on his hip as he leans closer to you. “Readin’ yer books again, my lady?”
“Johnny,” your hand over your chest, your heart might have jumped out. The book that was almost thrown sits on your lap now. “Yes,” catching your breath, “I am reading… again.” You’ve never seen a man dress like him when you were growing up. Sir— or just Johnny, as he had asked, is dressed in clothing that speaks of his proud heritage. The green and blue kilt, the leather, and the two sharp looking axes attached to his hips. The term, “Scottish warrior”, comes to mind. It’s something that you’ve heard your father speak about. Granted your father had nothing good to say about them. He never had anything good to say about anything in general actually.
“Yer makin’ me lazy, my lady.” He sighs like you’ve turned away a crying puppy.
“How am I doing that?” It’s refreshing in how he speaks to you. It should upset you that he’s so open with you but you’ll take what you can get. At least he tries to keep his manners, you’ve heard him curse only once but he promptly apologized for it. “If you are bored of your charge then perhaps you should ask Lord Riley to relieve you of me.” Turning your face a little, you go to pull your book out in front of you.
“Cannae do that,” puffing his chest out. Far too prideful to admit any sort of defeat, “ye ken there’s a library that yer husband puts donations to?” You quirk a brow at him, when did Lord Riley start doing that? He continues on, “it’s very big compared to yer lil greenhouse. It’s in town and there just happens to be a nice little bakery nearby.” Trying to sound as convincing as he can. He’s kept up with your routines and needless to say. He wants to get you out of the cage you’re squeezed in. Plus, a little birdie told him that you have a sweet tooth that’s almost as bad as Simon’s is.
Rubbing at your chin in thought, “okay…” placing your book down. No harm in getting out, you just hoped it would’ve been your husband that would’ve been the one to do so. A flitter of a fantasy that maybe he would’ve taken notice to you keeping to yourself here but… maybe he just has too many things to work on?
“Thank you, Princess,” smiling down at you once more. His hand outstretched for you to grab and you take it gladly. He pulls you out of your seat easily and takes a small step back so you can walk in front. His eyes have always been on you since you came in. Watching your graceful figure moves about the halls like a feather. He’d think you’re a swan with how you move, a pretty little thing that’s nestled in these cold walls. It cuts him deeper in the chest that any knife when he knows why your husband isn’t paying attention to you the way you deserve.
He’ll have to speak to Simon again, maybe get him to build you your own library in the estate. God knows it took some long and hard convincing to get the man to make donations to the towns library. It’s worth it to see how your eyes light up though. You flutter around and talk his ear off about all the books, talking more than he’s heard you speak since you’ve came about being Lady Riley. He swallows thickly when your back is turned once more to pile on another book to your growing collection.
He can’t keep doing this, not anymore. Not to you.
#lolowrites#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#john soap mactavish x reader#soap mactavish x reader#ghoap x reader#ghoap x you#regency era au#simon ghost riley#johnny soap mactavish#just wanted to say anon#you made me laugh so hard#what is a drop bear???
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meanwhile Guy Who Has An Aggressive Crush on me has revealed two red flags and just. …..when I joked about how I need a man who is obsessed with me I didn’t mean just any man come ON
#we’re not even friends but we have mutual friends so he’s at every party#THE RED FLAGS ARE SO RED THO#1. apparently he’s the type of alcoholic who tries to pressure people who aren’t drinking into drinking with him#(idc that he’s an alcoholic I’ve been there done that but holy fuck. if someone says No that means NO!!!!)#2. I cannot have a conversation with any man about anything without him jumping in and interrupting#and I thought at first ‘ok maybe he just wants to be included and is awkward about it’#but he genuinely was annoying 2 of my guy friends with how incessant his drunk ass was the other night#and he’s been doing that for two months now.#and he NEVER interrupts or jumps in when I’m talking to girls???#and I told my brother who immediately interrupted and was like ‘damn he gets THAT jealous….does he know you’re bi??’#bc then he’d have to stop EVERYONE from talking to me 😭#also….for the past week he’s been trying to pressure me into going to this one party…#and it’s making me uncomfortable.#but a lot of my friends are going so I do want to go#and also might definitely go if Crush is there but idk if he would go? bc he’s a recovering alcoholic#even though he said other people drinking around him genuinely doesn’t trigger anything#but if I go I know I’ll be followed around like a puppy by a guy I’ve never been more than polite normal friendly with#what a situation to be in
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