#(it just makes everyone more miserable!)

[cosmicredcadet]

enough stories about how someone learns to truely be happy through love. i want a story where someone is desperately seeking out love thinking it's the only way to be happy only for them to learn by the end that happiness is what they make of it and they don't need love at all to make it.

[randomminty]

Hello. I bring even more octopath

[lord-squiggletits]

I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.

I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.

The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...

Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.

I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.

And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?

It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.

To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.

In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.

Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.

So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.

What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.

Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

[cringefail-clown]

i need this bizzare phenomenon of people who dislike dirkkri yet are still following me studied. did yall somehow miss like 80% of the shit i post or

[lightningidle]

Fig's line "I don't think I'm an artist, I think I'm just a good friend" has not left my head at all. Just...

You're Fig Faeth and your horns came in over the summer and you pick up the bard class as a form of adolescent rock 'n' roll rebellion, and it works! It's exactly the outlet you need! You give a guy you just met drumsticks and you start a band and it's good enough that within a year and a half you're touring. You are, in every sense, good at being a bard.

And then, finally, your junior year, you start to take it seriously. Your art goes from an outlet and a form of rebellion to a practice. A discipline. (Can rebellion exist within a discipline?) Your classmates know what they want to do with their work. They all have a thesis statement. And yeah, there's cohesion in the music you make, but you've never had to think about why you make it. You've never sat down and dissected what it is about bass that speaks to you. You've never poured over your lyrics to pick at any deeper meaning. Why should you? You don't play music for a grand design, you do it to... huh, why do you do it?

(Your art is the one form of self-expression that feels as safe as Disguise Self does, because even if you're pouring your heart onto the page and then screaming it in front of thousands of people, it's not like you're really making yourself known. You can sing I'm lonely, I'm scared, I'm furious, and your fans will sing it right back, and there will still be the distance between performer and audience to keep your heart safe.)

Now you're being asked to look inward to explain the artistic choices you're making, and you can't help but recoil at that, because you'd rather do anything than look inward. Meanwhile, your classmates have no problem with it, so you start to wonder if you're a real artist at all. Can your art be authentic if it only exists to bolster a thesis statement? Has your art been unauthentic this whole time because you've never really thought about a thesis statement before? Is that what makes it art, and not just the next track on somebody's teen angst playlist?

You can't think about yourself— acknowledging your own existence makes you want to puke. So if your music is an extension of yourself, (and it is, even if it's just because the spotlight reveals only what you want it to,) you can't think about your music. You can't. You have to. Your grade depends on it.

You're Fig Faeth, and you keep multiclassing because you'd rather be a good friend than a great artist. If introspection is what great art demands, then fuck it. You must not be a bard at all.

[puppppppppy]

i wrote this as a joke because I wanted to strangle a guy watching tiktoks without headphones on the bus, but im genuinely disturbed that we've gotten to a point where convenience comes first. and it depresses me even more that its used to justify and monetize greed

[williamwheeler]

we talk a lot about how before blaine, kurt had never met another gay teen (who was out, that is), and how isolated that made him feel. but what about how the only gay person that kurt knew in real life (as far as we know) was sandy ryerson, a self-proclaimed “predatory gay,” that we're introduced to for the first by seeing him touching a student inappropriately

thinking about how kurt's crush on finn is twisted into some form of harassment even though we only saw him... what? sign him a song? staring at him a bit? introduce their parents to each other, surely as some sort of evil stratagem to get closer to finn and seduce him??? how is that worse than, say, finn – in front of god and everyone –singing i want jessie's girl while circling rachel, or coming up with a scheme to make quinn feel pressured into kissing him?

well i don't think it's worse, but, according to burt, since kurt “wasn't afraid to show” his crush, it makes it more justifiable for finn to sling around slurs (for what will unfortunately not be the last time)

and then kurt's interest in sam and desire to sing a song with him is somehow distorted into him ���not understanding that no means no,” even though sam said YES! he ACCEPTED! no means no but sam didn't say it!!!!! and then burt, the one person who's supposed to know kurt better than anyone, agrees with finn, that maybe kurt is being pushy and “taking advantage” of poor sam

“so a gay guy can't be friendly to a straight guy without being predatory?” yes, kurt was attracted to sam and wanted to spend some time with him. but he would never force himself on him in any way. that doesn't matter, though, because even the people who are supposed to be the closest to him, who are supposed to see him for who he is, still don't get him. kurt's treated as if he has some sort of disease or if he's a threat; he's treated as if he's sandy ryerson

similarly, when blaine reveals his crush on sam to tina he feels the need to say “i'm not some predatory gay, so nothing's gonna happen.” and this makes me wonder if blaine has also had previous experiences of crushing on straight boys in the past, and if he was also ostracized for it. even if he hasn't, he clearly knows how society perceives a gay guy crushing on a straight guy

i just hate to think of these two lonely boys being isolated and mistreated for feelings that they can't control, that they don't even plan to act on, and being treated like predators for it

[littlelightfish]

I finnaly did some Holm drawings <3

Holm and Mickbell got separated from the rest of the party because of monsters. Mickbell is terrified because he knows they're the only left alive. If Holm dies, he'll be all alone down here and probably just get killed too. Holm is... badly injured, has little mana left, not enough to heal himself. He's having trouble breathing and everything hurts. Mick is pressing his hat(? against one of his many injures, but it's not doing much. He knows they'll both die here.

Everyone died before him trying to protect him. The monster took all his companions lifes before dying thanks to Marillier. He is so tired and roughed up of this happening (because it does happen a lot, to him to be the the last man standing and everyone dying in protecting him bc he can revive them), but let's it happen. He can't really do anything other than survive to help his friends and it's frustrating.

He's a silly creature. Frozen in place. Having prision flashbacks. He not okie-dokie.

He so silly I love him <3.

[bloomeng]

I would describe my reaction to Natlan as disappointed but unsurprised. I will say the one positive thing I’ve noticed is there’s more people speaking out in an orderly fashion and less push back against the people speaking out. Not to say there isn’t push back there definitely is, but the conversation feels less like rabid dogs going at each other. Part of this I think is due in part to the fact that many people (like myself) expected this and were prepared this time around, but also people’s flimsy arguments are crumpling. “Just wait till Natlan” arguments can’t be passed around anymore. Chinese fans are also complaining, so you can’t even make that argument anymore.

I don’t know if any of this will get Hoyo to recall anything but god we can dream. However, it’s still nice though to see the backlash.

[stizzysupremacy]

“It’s a romcom!”

their breakup has a body count, which is neither especially romantic nor particularly funny 🤷‍♀️

[scarlet--wiccan]

is anyone else just like. not enjoying comics or being involved with comics fandom anymore

[icewindandboringhorror]

currently at That Point which occurs once every few months where one briefly begins pacing around the house teary eyed contemplating selling their own organs or becoming an online scammer or getting on anxiety meds so you can bear the risk taking required to be a hitman or so on and so forth.... why must everything so Expensive... Surely all would be healed in life if only I had one big plate of lasagna and a simple loan of $40,000 ... auoughhh....

[swoo0zy]

imagine if westley rlly betrayed wander n sylvia n stayed in the hater empire jk jk unless

[usercelestial]

the whole "your ship has to Endgame™️" thing has rotted people's brain and i think contributes to how genuinely miserable a lot of fans make themselves. i used to be in a lot of buddie-centric spaces and let me tell you, i was fucking miserable and not enjoying myself. not because of the people or the ship itself, but because of the insistence that it WILL be canon every season. moving the goalpost and tricking yourself into thinking that this will happen 100%, no questions, and if you don't think so too, you must hate this ship, is uh. pretty detrimental to most people's enjoyment of a ship and the show overall. it wasn't until i removed myself from those spaces and just took a step back that i was able to let myself enjoy the show that i was watching AND my little interpretations and headcanons. i still love buddie and would be stoked to see it happen but im also not gonna die on that hill. trying to convince yourself that what you interpreted is 1) the same thing everyone else interpreted and 2) the Correct Interpretation the show intended for you to make will only ever suck the joy out of fandom because either you won't be able to convince yourself and what the show shows you will clash violently against what you want to happen or you will be able to convince yourself and you'll make villains out of your fellow shippers for not also thinking the same exact way as you and you'll be disappointed when your theories don't happen. like fandom is supposed a fun little hobby and you're making it feel like a job for no reason.

[angel---eater]

godddd the lalondes drive me insane. roxy in candy vs meat makes me feel like im in the 5th ring of hell (/very pos). thinking about the toxic, manufactured, 'inherent bonds' between women (trans + cis) and people dfab that hinders so much, including self-discovery by way of transness. sapphics especially get hit with this hard. the urge to copy and the fear of becoming your mother in tandem. youre part of The Cisterhood whether you like it or not, whether you are actually a girl or not. what you actually do or want doesnt matter because The Game and Fate dictates that you are just a girl, so you're going to be 'treated like one'. youre playing by The Game's rules. the other crabs will never let you go and you're sooo selfish for thinking you can develop or explore yourself outside of the crab pot. dont you like it in here? isnt it fun though? you dont present right for your old crush to notice you so curl your eyelashes tighter and put on more lipstick, its the only way he'll notice you. he's not a homosexual, you better not wear that hoodie. of course no one would like you for yourself, you already tried that. you desperately want to be like your mother but your mother despises you as your daughter. she can't even LOOK at you. you are your own mother