#(initially yeah he’s mean af but after a while he tries to be less mean

[arrozconlecheeee]

Lately been really thinking about him a lot❄️

[batlingsstuff]

|| DREAM SMP HEADCANONS ||

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

hello! this is my first time doing headcanons, and i just want to clarify some things:

sadly, i won't be doing requests because i'm busy af with school and i dont want to dissapoint anyone, but you can drop some suggestions and i would think about it! it would be really nice :)

also i won't be writing romantic headcanons for minors or those who are uncomfortable with it, but i can do platonic headcanons for them! ^^

i won't be doing nsfw headcanons either, because i'm uncomfy with sexualizing real people and just writing nsfw in general :)

also, please tell me if someone is uncomfortable with fanfics and/or headcanons and i will erase that part as fast as possible, thanks for passing by! - batling

✦ means platonic

✦ characters : ranboo, tubbo, tommy, philza, techno and jschlatt

♥ means romantic

♥ characters: quackity, wilbur, nihachu, dream, george, sapnap, eret, karl, fundy and bbh

keywords:

(y/n) : your name

(n/n) : nickname

(p/p) : pizza place

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.” – John Green

┌────── ⋆⋅✦⋅⋆ ──────┐

SLEEPOVERS

---

GENDER NEUTRAL

└────── ⋆⋅✦⋅⋆ ──────┘

♥ Quackity

oh boy

i just have two words for this one: pure chaos

he will punch you with a pillow if you try to sleep

and you will be MAD at this

grabbing a pillow and hitting him RIGHT IN THE FACE with all your strenght

he'll probably fake cry about it, saying that you hurt him

after a while of pillow fighting, you guys got tired and plopped into the bed, snuggling into eachother and just enyoing the comfortable silence before drifting to sleep

♥ Wilbur

you two will probably blast hamilton and scream the lyrics till the neighbours wake up and you get angry knocks at your door

and you will laugh at that, lowering the speaker's volume and telling him to lower his voice aswell to avoid your neighbours calling the police

then you'll eat snacks and talk about anything that pops into your mind, laughing at the most silly jokes

he will sing sweet songs to you, making you fall asleep to his calming voice

summary: fluff

♥ Nihachu

you and her will bake pastries at a very late hour

she REALLY enjoys baking with you bc she thinks it's a great way to spend time with you

all this girl wants is to spend her time by your side, doing particularlly anything like streaming, baking, playing games and going outside for a walk and/or shopping

once you finished baking, she will kiss your cheek multiple times. that's her way to tell you that you did a great job :)

you'll spend the rest of the night cuddling, eating your pastries and watching some random movie, commenting about how bad it is and laughing

♥ Dream

bruh

this bitch will speedrun the sleepover

is it possible to speedrun a sleepover? maybe

you'll spend the rest of the night probably playing uncharted 3: drake's deception in his old ps3

after a while, you guys got bored from uncharted and went to his pc to play amnesia: the dark descent

there are 2 options:

you will be scared as fuck and will avoid looking at the screen when you think something bad will happen or when some body will come out from a drawer

or you will be totally chill with it, laughing hard when clay pisses his pants for real when he encounters the gatherer

you named the gatherer 'bob' :)

♥ George

he'll take you to the rooftop

and pushes you so you fall to your death

i mean

he gets blankets and pillows so you can stargaze together

he'll teach you the constelations while pointing them, excited about every single one of them

"look (y/n), that's the ursa major!"

he'll have hot chocolate prepared too, so you don't get cold while stargazing

you try your best to not fall asleep on the rooftop

but eventually fail

when he notices you're asleep, he stops talking about the constellations and carries you to your bedroom, giving you a goodnight kiss and leaving you in your bed so you can have a peaceful rest

♥ Sapnap

hey mamas

i don't know what sapnap will do in a sleepover so i will just improvise B)

you will watch anime together

not any kind of anime, like that romance-comedy bullcrap

no fuck that

you will watch the classy angsty anime like madoka magica

WATCH IT IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY

you will fucking cry because of literally anything that happens to the characters

"(y/n) why are you crying it's just a show"

'IT'S NOT ANY SHOW SAPNAP IT'S FUCKING MADOKA MAGICA OF COURSE I'M GOING TO CRY'

the last chapter made you fucking cry harder

AUTHOR HERE I WAS CRYING SO MUCH WHEN IT ENDED

yeah you will basically watch anime with him, cry about it and he will comfort you and bring you a glass of water so you don't have a terrible headache after it

I KNOW THIS HEADCANON SUCKED I'M SO SORRY

♥ Eret

KINGG <3

you two will plan a picnic in your yard

yes your yard

he'll bring a ton of snacks and you'll buy a few drinks

you two spend the rest of the picnic talking about your future and enjoying the snacks

then, he'll make you stand up and will teach you how to dance tango

and of course you will mess everything up

and you even stomped on his feet accidentally, making him wimper

but he brushed off the pain and laughed at your concerned face

after calming down his laughter, he gave you a passionate kiss and hugged you tightly

i love eret ok

♥ Karl Jacobs

this man.

this man is the definition of sweet

you'll spend the night cuddling and making cute pet names for eachother

he will definetely give you a great back massage if you're stressed

then he'll start writing love letters full of things he adore of you

and you'll do the same for him

after that, you will share your letters and just snuggle and smile at the sweet things you guys wrote for eachother

he will deffo shower you with kisses when he finishes reading your letter, telling you that you're the nicest person on earth

and that he loves you so so much

♥ Fundy

i'm a huge fundy simp ok

he will bring his piano to your house and you guys will compose a melody together

he will let you sit on his lap while you play the piano/keyboard with him

fundy will basically teach you how to play basic piano songs

you asked him if you guys could play megalovania together

he said no :(

but still you got to play nice songs together without messing up

and when you got the hang of it, he snuggled his face in your neck and kissed you there genly

and when you got tired, he started playing very calming songs and you fell asleep in his lap, snuggling into his chest

he gently carried to your room and will sleep beside you putting a fair distance so you can have a comfortable sleep!

♥ BadBoyHalo

bbh supremacy

he will get rat ready so you can snuggle with her too :)

you guys will mainly play with rat and talk about life in general

he will call you tons of cute pet names

ofc he will call you muffin it's bbh who we're talking about

he will talk about how bad he wants to spend the rest of his life with you

after a while, he will take you to his kitchen and start making muffins together

he will guide you on how to bake 'em though

you guys had a great time making muffins and cuddling with him and rat :)

══════ ∘◦❀◦∘ ══════

✦ Ranboo

tall mf gives the best piggy back rides

when he gets to your house there is a 100% chance he will bump his head on the door frame

and there is a 100% chance you will make fun of him because of that

"(y/n) please stop laughing my head hurts :("

you'll give him some ice to put on his head while you two play minecraft on your ps4

you will bring snacks too and ask him if his head is better

"yeah, thank you (n/n)"

he will pull you in a hug so you can be comfy together while you play good ol' minecraft

because ranboo surely doesn't play anything besides fucking minecraft

stfu that video of him playing spooky's jump scare mansion doesn't exist

✦ Tubbo

SWEET BE BOYY <3

he will gift you a bee plushie

expect a lot of (FRIENDLY) hugs from him

like fundy, you guys will play piano together

you guys are most likely to prank call some random numbers AND your friends

and you accidentally called some random pizza place

"hello! this is (p/p), may i take your order?"

you were nervous and didn't know what to say

UNTIL YOU CAME UP WITH A GREAT IDEA

"hello? are you there?"

'hi yes, i would like to order 7 extra large pepperoni pizzas to (tommy's adress).'

"oh- okay! uhm- they will arrive in a few hours. are you okay with that?"

'yes ma'am, thank you.'

when you ended the call, you couldn't help but burst out laughing, knowing that tommy will be so mad at you guys-

✦ Tommy

like quackity, PURE. CHAOS.

you guys will obviously stream your sleepover

doing a q&a stream :)

tubbo and wilbur will probably crash your stream and start spamming things like 'MEETUP??' and 'DIDN'T GET AN INVITE'

you guys laughed and added them to the call

"WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU GUYS INVITE ME?" wilbur shouted

'i'm sorry willlll'

you kept playing minecraft with wilbur, tubbo and quackity too since he crashed your stream like an hour later

after the stream, you got up and plopped on the mattress that was on the floor

"tired?"

'yeah'

"okay, good night big (initial)"

✦ Philza

POG

YEAHHH SLEEPOVER WITH THE MINECRAFT GOD

AND KRISTIN'S THERE TOO :)))

and oh god you ADORE kristin

i'm pretty sure she's a total sweetheart

it would be like having a sleepover with your parents

only that it's less boring

you guys will watch a movie together, you will be in one side of the couch eating snacks while phil and kristin are in the other cuddling

you'll eventually bug them about it

after the movie, you fell asleep early and philza noticed, talking to kristin about it too

and wrapped a blanket around you so that you get a good rest :)

✦ Technoblade

mr. blood god teaches you the arts of the CRAFT.

yeah i mean it's techno what else does he play besides minecraft

he will play bedwars w/ u, teaching you how to pvp

"bro you kinda suck tbh"

'stfu techno'

he will comment about how bad you are, but tries to help you get better anyways

and when you do a very poggers gamer move, he praises you

and when he praises you you're all :)))

after awhile, he gets tired from watching you play minecraft and suggest watching anime

fucking weeb

i mean

uh

other thing you guys do together in a sleepover is playing and commenting about pokemon

if you don't like pokemon get tf out of here /J

i was joking please don't leave i respect your tastes

✦ Jschlatt

ooooh boy

get ready for a session of wii training

that's all you guys will do

play wii sports and some other shit like wii music

he will laugh his ass of if you fall while playing wii fit

but he will eventually help you bc outside his funny and shouty persona, he's a really chill guy and a really nice person!

seriously like have you ever seen a theweeklyslap video?

well expect hearing amazing pep talks from him

bc this man is a legend and knows his way to words and is very good at comforting people :)

sometimes you'll rant to him about anything that's happening in your life, and he will listen to you and give you really helpful advice

and you appreciate him so much for that

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

TYSM FOR READING GUYS, i appreciate it if you made it this far :)

i hope you guys really enjoyed these headcanons, it's my first time doing them and aa i'm a bit nervous about posting this but i'll be fine ig

also i'm sorry if there's a grammatical error, english is not my native language and i'm still learning it :) have a nice day/night, drink water and don't fuck up your sleeping schedule!!

[vrisrezis]

My mcu favs w/ crush and relationship hcs (pt 2) (not proof read)

- gonna be honest she’s not familiar with romantic feelings, takes her awhile to even realize what she feels for you

- you make her heart all melty and soft, you make her face heat up, you make her question everything she does

- you make her feel even giddy and overly happy and it kinda annoys her tbh

- she thinks you’re out to get her or something and have casted some spell but when she asks thor he has no idea what she’s talking about until she describes what she’s feeling and he just laughs and thinks she’s joking

- she’s like no. I’m serious ?

- to which thor would tell her what it is, he has a bit of an idea because of Jane

- tbh loving somebody romantically, caring about somebody to this extent scares her

- she’s lost so many people and because of it became a raging alcoholic

- if she lost you she doesn’t know what could happen

- she tries to push you away but quickly realizes she doesn’t like doing that to herself or you

- asks you to go out drinking with her often if you’re up for that

- she’d find it funny how easily you get drunk but has no problem taking care of you, in fact she would probably drink with you more often so she can take care of you because it’s the closest to intimacy she feels she can have with you (no she is not taking advantage of you or anything, it’s more just the thought of taking care of you feels intimate to her)

- also you’re cute while you’re drunk

- trans with you so you can be tougher if you’re not that tough already

- tbh asks thor to do the same with you, whether it be cuz she’s not around or because you need the extra training

- eventually Thor’s at the point where he’s like you gotta tell em and she’s like no 🖕

- but she does eventually

- she’s kinda awkward about it but she tries to sound confident with it ^^

- dating you is very different than just being her friend tbh

- like you might’ve been surprised at her asking you out, even if it’s kinda obvious to anybody that knows her well

- to any stranger you just seemed like friends with a strange rivalry relationship but that’s really not the case

- she’s much more flirty in a relationship, since she’s confident you’re with her for a reason.. she’s not the type to doubt your relationship, you’re with her for a reason

- much more protective in battle though

- she doesn’t say she loves you enough, but she shows it through her actions

- asks thor about the romantic stuff but he has no idea really so she goes to Bruce who kinda has more of a grasp on it

- tries to take you to like normal restaurant dates... kinda awkward since she had no midgardian clothes at that point

- lotsa quick kisses on the cheek or forehead

- likes cuddling as she finds it just.. kinda intimate ?

- still likes to take care of a drunk you

- quick pecks on your lips are very often

- doesn’t like the idea of going on a lot of Thor’s saving the world shits unless you’re on board with it

- thor jokes about how she’s all badass and “I don’t give a fuck about saving the world or anyone else” until it comes to you

- she kicks his ass

- but he’s not wrong

- when she likes you she’s a bit like wtf

- like she doesn’t realize it for a moment until jane explains it

- before she was her usual talkative self but there was a lot of nervousness and stuttering at times, just unusual awkwardness that made Jane raise a brow

- it makes more sense now

- since she’s aware she likes you now she often asks you to hang out, to help her out, whatever it is

- the gal is clingy af what can she say

- lotsa hugs she loves giving you hugs often does them for a greeting

- just an excuse to hold you though tbh

- at times will get tongue tied

- she tries to flirt but it just makes you confused she’s not good at it you’re not even gonna know she’s flirting

- eventually grows impatient about it and is just like “I LIKE U DUMMY! DATE ME!”

- and now you date

- she gets into things a bit quickly so if it’s too fast tell her, hopefully not a dealbreaker

- dates are often because she’s got a lot of creative ideas for dates ^^

- still hugs you as a greeting but a lot longer and intimate and a kiss follows after

- speaking of kisses she LOVES to kiss you and she does so very often

- very needy

- big cuddler

- just like “CUDDLE ME”

- so demanding

- often talks about you and how much she loves you she can’t help it

- but if anybody did the same she like “shut up nobody cares”

- even with you though she’s blunt, but much nicer about it

- likes going on just good dates, restaurants , picnic, whatever

- she eats all the food

- tries to impress you so she might say she was best friends with thor at a point

- and that she’s helped him out before and .. yeah etc

- she likes buying you clothes tbh

- especially if you don’t dress good let her dress you up pls

- would be sad if you didn’t get along with Jane

- it would be a dealbreaker actually

- she knows she’s a bit much so she feels happy you love her anyways

- vision of course will not understand his feelings

- he understands you definitely make him feel something, that something being good

- for a moment he might think he feels like this is how best friends feel towards another, or even thinking he sees you in a familial light

- tony quickly tells him that is not the case

- once vision understands what he really feels he’s not sure how to go about it, he can be quite oblivious

- he’s aware of this but still .. what does he do?

- asks tony for advice, he tells him to flirt and see how it goes

- but tbh that doesn’t work, you don’t even realize he’s flirting gonna be honest

- he’s just bad at it

- so he tries to just simply state his affection, that doesn’t work because he doesn’t know how to word it without it sounding platonic, or getting too nervous about going too far

- he doesn’t wanna overstep boundaries

- tony is in pain watching this btw

- tony eventually is just like “he wants to know if you would like to go on a date” “w- I.. yes?”

- in a relationship he is very sweet

- kinda cliche though, since he doesn’t have a concept of romance at all

- looks up a lot of the things he should know about romance he doesn’t want to ask you that

- while he has no problem protecting you, he doesn’t feel the need to be overly protective unless needed

- he’s logical, reasonable, he only gets protective if he has to, even with how he feels towards you

- but do you distract him? Yes absolutely

- he’s okay with living comfortably and normally for once with you, unless it’s something you don’t want or are not ready for

- once you’re conditioned to a certain lifestyle, even if it isn’t a good one it can be uncomfortable to get out of and he understands that

- he loves to kiss you, often initiates kisses or forms of affection

- you were the first to kiss him, it made him so flustered but so happy and now he’s addicted to kissing you

- loves kissing your hands

- if you have any insecurity he will do anything in his power to prove you wrong and that he doesn’t see you in that light

- he understands he has responsibilities but other than that, loves spending his time with you

- he understands you’re a distraction so he tries not to fight with you, he wants to prioritize the people when it comes to this kinda thing

- which you of course understand

- once you teach him what dancing is, his love language is dancing with you

- you two just stay up talking about nothing and everything

- having kids with him isn’t an option, but he isn’t opposed to adopting children

- after all, all he’s ever wanted was to be a normal significant other to you

- do not have a huge concept on her character so forgive me 🙏

- she can be a bit flirty, not that you mind though right ?

- she just loves spending all her time with you

- probably met you before wandavision

- so you’re probably already together

- even then in wandavision you two were “roommates”

- doesn’t explain all the flirting girl .

- agathas fall would be letting Wanda find out she had a soft spot for you my god

- while she’s all confidence and flirty in general, she’s a bit softer with you

- like she genuinely means the things she says when it comes to you

- eventually asks you to date her, you don’t have much room for dates outside of wandavision

- you two are always together btw

- loves dancing with you

- she has a good grasp on romance so she has no issue with it

- she is full of confidence when it comes down to it tbh

- holds your hand often

- your relationship ain’t official till like the 70s probably

- might joke after wanda has kids that you both should have kids too

- while she’s causing her mischief you back her up to make her look less suspicious

- seriously in the mist of all this she’s grateful for you

- especially when you get her out of the hell that Wanda puts her in once again

- to which she will actually confess she loves you, and cares for you

- you aren’t just like.. some person to date

- she’s not the most vulnerable obviously

- so the fact she finally is.. it’s just a lot

- “idk I just love u a lot hun . Cant I show I love u 😊”

- she’s just so overly sweet with you

- she’s so awful to everyone else at times that she just likes being .. with you and being a softie

- likes you playing with her hair

- she loves a good cuddle

- cute nicknames like hon, or hun, or just teddy bear

- with a crush quill might try to act overly friendly

- and probably flirts a lot

- he’s very like obvious with the flirting so you’d have to be oblivious not to notice it

- he can be quite protective as well

- like not just in fighting but even with just others like even before dating he’s very jealous

- if he makes a joke you’re always in on it somehow

- he tries for form a close bond with you just cuz he likes you so much

- it’s likely he likes somebody that can easily protect themselves doe

- probably has some dumb handshake with you

- honestly he acts like a close friend to you

- people might mistake you for a sibling like relationship if it weren’t for his flirting and him staring at you like you’re his entire universe

- seriously Sam says Bucky has a staring problem, quill is fucking awful

- it’s constant and rocket is always like “you’re staring”

- and he’s like “nO” and then continues to stare

- has you listen to his favorite music of course

- especially the love songs ;D

- will just dance with you to the music he puts on

- one time you guys are dancing to the music he put on like normal but it’s a slow love song, so hes like let’s so dance bae

- and then he tells you how he feels for u

- now u date <3

- lots of forehead kisses

- cuddle bug absolutely

- still a jealous boyfriend though tbh he will try to seem all tough in front of any man he thinks might be better or something he will do anything to show off

- your relationship doesn’t change just lots of kisses and hugs now and I love yous

- you’re totally the relationship that’s like “I love you more” “nooo I love you more” and the guardians hate y’all so much

- he uses nicknames like hun, honey, love, sweetheart

- let’s just say you slow dance more often, and kiss while doing so ^^

- he flirts with you still but it’s a lot more sweet rather than before where he might’ve just flirted with you in terms of like it being kinda like calling you sexy and shit like that, now it’s more like wow u look beautiful I luv u 😊🙏

- would do anything for you, even if he wouldn’t like it

- doesn’t mean he wouldn’t hesitate tho

- going on separate dates isn’t really an option since you guys fight left and right and are always with the guardians, but he decided every once a couple months you guys go on a date together and have some fun

- Loki doesn’t get crushes, so this is a new thing for him

- and tbh he doesn’t know how to take it either, especially when he realizes how strong those feelings actually are

- he hates the idea of being vulnerable in general, especially when it comes to you

- over time it just... happens

- but if there’s any indication he likes spending time with you he will try to lie his way through it, he’s a good liar of course so it probably works

- however he shows he at the very least cares about you, he shows a sign of protectiveness when it comes to potential enemies.. enemies that happen to be dangerous for you

- plus he’s around you like constantly and claims he has nobody else to harass

- he claims he doesn’t care about you at all, but even thor can tell through this lie

- the way he looks at you makes it obvious

- the way he doesn’t try to get you involved in his more dangerous schemes

- and if you do, and you get hurt he feels guilty and tries to help you feel better

- he claims he just owes you one for getting you hurt though

- eventually thor bothers him enough to get him to confess feelings, which takes a lot for Loki to even go through with

- he acts confident, even moreso after you say yes, but deep down was extremely nervous

- the male is good at making you feel important, after trying so hard to hide his feelings he is tired of it and just wants to be more honest about how he feels about you

- no issue being vulnerable, he trusts you but sometimes it can be hard

- he goes to you for a lot of his problems, even if you cannot help, just venting and you listening helps

- he was already with you a lot but now there’s no excuses and it’s even moreso

- “what? I just wanted to visit my beautiful s/o” “we literally just saw eachother 5 minutes ago can I please go to bed”

- likes pressing your foreheads together, he finds it sweet

- jealous of thor? Absolutely. Pls comfort him and tell him you’d never leave him for thor

- he’s so used to just not being as good as him, he wants to be good enough for you

- deep down there’s just so many insecurities he has

- so it causes him to worry like all the time

- having a reassuring and patient s/o is so good for him ^^

- flirting becomes a thing in your relationship

- it makes him feel more confident pls give him this

- protective, he feels like he has to be tbh because he never gets anything good in his life and if he does he loses it, he’s scared to lose you too

- if for some reason he can’t see you he makes an illusion of you to talk to

- when he fake dies you’re the first he goes to see so you don’t think he’s dead, he loves you he wouldn’t want to do that to you =(

- finally

- gonna be honest bucky with a crush is cute

- first of all he smiles at you a lot, Steve is the first to notice how much he smiles around you, it’s the most he smiles like ever

- just has a lot of nice conversations with you about anything and everything

- also whenever you’re around even if other people are around you he’s just like “hey y/n :)”

- heart eyes for you, just can’t help but stare all the time

- he has a staring problem but with you? Yeah 10x over

- Sam always has something to say abt it also

- his idea of flirting with you is really just saying hi to you, just being overly friendly which is noticeable for a guy like Bucky

- eventually would ask you out, he tries to ease into it but he gets a bit impatient

- he was also nervous asking you out but yk

- when dating him he becomes very protective

- one of the most protective bitches on the list tbh

- he gets nightmares about you dying like all the time it breaks him everytime though

- lots of cuddles, whether it be from a rough day, he’s just tired, or had a nightmare

- he likes his hair being brushed by you and played with, even when he cuts it

- he’s scared of killing you and turning into the winter soldier again

- has dreams about when he’s hurt and fought you as the winter soldier, he keeps thinking about if Steve wasn’t there to help, he really could’ve killed you and that terrifies him

- even when you tell him it wasn’t him, he appreciates it but still feels horrible about it

- touch that metal arm, but like gently Yknow . Nobody’s ever touched that arm with such kindness and it makes him soft and feel lucky

- speaking of soft Bucky is very soft, there’s many soft moments with Bucky and vulnerability

- it’s easy to be vulnerable with you but not others

- lots of handholding

- he loves hugging you for long periods of time

- still has a staring problem but now Sam openly makes fun of him

- just big dumb smile on his face as he looks at you

- especially when you’re dealing with kids, seeing you be around them makes his heart warm

- maybe he does wanna be normal, settle down and have kids

- though the thought scares him it is something he desires

- we all know he calls you doll

[dastardlydandelion]

So...what kind of horror movie would you write featuring the Hargrove/ Mayfield family? (That you haven't written already lol)

oh boy, u may regret asking me this bc i am indecisive af and i can’t pick just one!

two that i'm actually writing are max as (g is for) ghostface killer in the abcs of neil’s death and also the max + tory nichols werewolf movie fic outlined here. also some more misc gorror junk bc i’m a demon and esp horny for susan wearing blood splatter. but more ideas commence below:

horror movie #1: another creature feature! awhile back @lucdarling sent me an ask abt max + billy hiding smth from susan and her like, playing along, pretending she doesn't know, and one of the scenarios that popped in my head was them keeping a baby bat as a pet. max finds it and she’s only like six or seven, and she thinks it’s going to turn into a vampire. so here is that scenario except horror edition: baby bat is actually a vampire type creature. not rly a vampire like, what’s prolly popping into ur head, like an undead human like dracula or smth, but like a bat monster that sucks blood.

billy being a lil older doesn’t actually think the bat is going to turn into a vampire. he makes fun of max for believing this, but he helps her take care of it anyway bc he thinks it’s cool. susan, like in the non-horror version, knows abt the bat but plays dumb bc she’s feeling a lot of guilt abt max’s difficulty adjusting to the blended fam (as of rn tho, neil has yet to reveal his abusive nature. the red flags are not yet red, more of a brownish maroon, and he is on his best behavior almost all the time, showering susan + max with affection and keeping the swears out of his mouth when he scolds billy in front of them) and knows the lil furry baby makes her happy. she tacitly cleans up after the bat whenever the kids miss a spot (bats poop a lot, dude) and distracts neil, deterring him from discovering it whenever he gets close.

baby bat gets rly big rly fast. and the older it gets, the more it starts to look monstrous. it still has bat features but it’s just like, different. its fangs grow suspiciously long, its hooks grow suspiciously long. its feet are elongated. a dorsal ridge emerges from its spine, spikes at first just flesh but soft fur rather like peach fuzz eventually sprouting. billy catches on that smth is strange abt this animal when it's as long as his forearm after two wks and still growing. he nearly shits a brick when the bat is clinging to his sweater one day and he steps in front of a mirror and only his reflection looks back at him— no bat.

max laughs at him all like, “stupid brother, ofc there’s no reflection. nosferatu is a vampire, vampires don’t have reflections.” 😂

susan catches a glimpse of the thing when nosferatu crawls out of the home max built it in her closet the same wk billy realizes it doesn’t have a reflection, and also almost shits a brick. she doesn’t know what it is, but it’s NOT a fucking bat. not a normal one, anyway! cue a comedy scene where she’s chasing it around the house with a butterfly net and it’s always one flap *ba dum tss* ahead of her, flying just out of reach. she suddenly regrets not getting rid of it sooner, scolding herself for ever allowing her daughter to keep a wild animal.

she can’t catch it. max comes home, susan tells her she needs to get rid of it. max cries, flips her the bird, refuses. billy tho…billy has mixed feelings. he loves nosferatu but he’s worried it’s going to get dangerous. he loves his dad and his dad is dangerous too. he’s stressed out enough, always on edge, knowing that one way or the other, neil is going to hurt him again. he’s already waiting for his dad to hurt him, he doesn’t need the added stress of waiting for nosferatu to hurt him too. and while max is 100% nosferatu’s favorite, it likes billy too. billy’s been handling it since it could fit in the palm of his hand, it trusts him much more than it trusts susan and doesn’t know any different when billy takes it out of the closet when max isn’t around.

billy frees nosferatu at an abandoned farm. there are always bats flying out of the old silo adjacent to the dilapidated barn. while he knows nosferatu isn’t a *normal* bat, it’s still bat like enough that he thinks it might make friends and be happy here…

yeah, that doesn’t stick. before long, nosferatu is feasting on that colony. leeches the blood out of a couple bats nightly. the number of bats increases with nosferatu’s size. meanwhile, max mourns her missing friend. she’s sullen af and won’t speak to susan at all. she thinks susan is the one who got rid of nosferatu. billy never fesses up and susan doesn’t contradict max’s assumption bc she wants the step-siblings to get along.

neil, meanwhile, is getting more comfortable. those maroon flags are slowly but surely brightening to scarlet. he starts sabotaging susan’s plans with her friends, trying to keep her around the house more and more, quietly but steadily eroding her relationships with other people. he’s getting more visibly aggressive when he disciplines billy. he curses him out with a virulent venom that dunks susan’s stomach in ice water and scares max so badly, she runs to susan and hides behind her even though she’s still so mad that susan got rid of her beloved baby vampire.

nosferatu’s appetite surpasses what the bat colony can offer. it’s like the size of a ten yr old human child now. fucker’s big. it doesn’t just have fangs on top, but tusks on bottom. it can’t go out in the sunlight anymore, the sun sears its flesh. it misses max a lot and before, it wasn’t strong enough to fly back to her house. but now it is. it’s extremely strong, actually.

so bc it's hungry, nosferatu grabs a snack along the way. some nameless rando, it swoops down and sucks dry. nourished and much happier, nosferatu makes its way back home. patiently waits outside of max’s bedroom in the moonlight, tapping its hook against the window until she wakes up. initially max is a lil startled— nosferatu looks so different, there’s a beat before she recognizes it— him?? yk, ig it’s male, the og nosferatu was a guy. sure, why not, nosferatu is a boy now.

once she realizes who it is, she is so! happy! max opens the window and embraces her friend. she isn’t freaked out by the blood on its fangs. she’s always known nosferatu is a vampire, albeit, she was thinking he’d look more like dracula than this bat-monster-thingy.

nosferatu moves back into max’s closet. it hangs upside-down from her rod by its weird, elongated feet. we get more shots of nosferatu sucking rando ppl dry at night, tho he remains gentle with max. when max drags billy in to show her he came back, nosferatu is less friendly with him. he’s not aggressive with billy, but he is standoffish. nosferatu’s thought process is somewhere between human and animal. he doesn’t quite cognitively understand that billy took him to the farm with the intent of getting rid of him, but he does understand that the last time he clung to billy, billy left him alone and never came back. max puts two and two together, and realizes it was billy who “stole” her friend. she yells at him a lot, he yells back, she then ices him out.

billy acts out bc he’s upset. runs away, thinks he’s going to find his mom…the cops find him first and call neil. neil is rly embarrassed and pissed abt the whole thing. he breaks down and beats billy in front of the mayfields for the first time. nosferatu smells the blood and it’s time for the main event! we love dead!neil, yes, we do.

nosferatu flies out the closet and right into the living room where billy’s bleeding and teary but biting his lip so they don’t actually fall. susan’s covering max’s eyes but so shocked and tbh, FRIGHTENED, she doesn’t move a muscle beyond that. neil’s got the belt raised, preparing to bring it down again, and nosferatu smashes right into him. neil stumbles, turns back to see this freaky monster looking thing. proceeds to whip the belt at nosferatu. tries to fight him off with the belt and it doesn’t accomplish much beyond pissing him off more— nosferatu, like most classic vampire types, has a healing factor!

max rips her mom’s hands off her face in time to see her pet sink its fangs into her stepdad’s throat. nosferatu sucks neil dry. billy’s a little dazed, not quite frightened. susan is just dead ass frozen, too scared to scream, even. nosferatu crawls over to billy and nudges at him, making sure he’s in once piece and forgiving him in the same go. max darts over and that snaps susan out of her stupor, but she isn’t as fast as our blood-sucking bat monster.

nosferatu stretches his wings out and with a truly impressive wingspan, hugs both of the kids. <3

horror movie #2: a haunting! this one opens with a bang. it’s a tragic horror, beware. we’re in hawkins post s3. billy died at starcourt mall. neil’s obvi had a longstanding abusive mindset and abusive behavior, but he rly takes his grief out on susan and max. mostly susan. she does her best to protect max however she can, whether that means shielding her w her body, sending her out of the house, getting neil’s goat to inspire his ire in max’s place, etc. but sue simply isn’t around all the time and when she isn’t, but max is, well. yk.

one day neil comes home early (bc he lost his job for a violent outburst, tbh) and discovers susan packing a suitcase.

sue fights hard. she rly does. but neil is bigger, heavier, crueler, and to boot, he caught her completely unawares. he kills her. and no, no it’s not some accidental thing where neil makes one bad move rage-blind. he strangles her with his belt. she’s clawing at his arms and making these horrible choked, trapped animal noises. thrashes and twists her body with everything she has trying to get him off but he’s so strong, his grip is unrelenting, and she's growing weaker, lightheaded with the lack of oxygen. strangulation can induce incontinence and when susan blacks out, her piss streams to the hardwood— neil hears that as much as he felt the clawing and heard the noises, even now he could stop, but he doesn’t. he just. doesn’t think his wife has the right to leave him, esp not after his son just did.

neil burns the body and the suitcase in the woods while max is at school. max has been spending as much time as she can (and often with sue’s prompting) outside of the house, so it actually takes her about two days to realize her mother isn’t around. neil tells a pretty convincing story about how susan abandoned them, voice saturated with apology and sorrow. he takes her out for a fancy dinner and promises he’s going to be a better father-- that being a better father is the least he can do now that her mother abandoned her and they are alone in their grief.

max doesn’t know what to think. she’s been preoccupied with her own grief and pain. she finds it hard to believe her mother would just leave her to neil’s wrath. she has a lot of hangups with susan and anger toward her for marrying neil and not getting them out sooner, but she’s also old enough to realize there would be risks involved with that. it’s hard to reconcile the memory of her mother just last wk pinning max to the wall to protect her from neil’s blows with her own bod just abruptly taking off without a word in the middle of the night. but hey, maybe that’s why susan left. maybe she got sick of protecting her, maybe the pain got to be too much and she turned tail.

but also…it’s early october now, abt three months after billy’s death but still fairly warm outside. yet neil is wearing long sleeves. neil never used to button his collared shirts all the way up, and yet. every collar is buttoned. also, mom’s car is still here. why would mom leave without her car?

that ceramic pelican she loved so much is still here too, on the mantle in the living room. it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing she would leave behind, she's had it since max was a baby.

max almost wants to believe neil because she’d rather her mother abandoned her than be dead somewhere, rotting in a storage locker or a hole in the ground. under the earth with the worms, just like billy. max has the worst feeling low in the pit of her gut. she thinks she knows the truth. she thinks abt going to hopper and hesitates bc she’s not sure she could handle it if he actually found smth. or what would happen to her if he did, where she would be sent, who she would end up with.

this movie would be more on the ambiguous end of things. an arthouse horror, if u will.

the days turn into wks and neil is crawling in his skin. the viewer isn’t sure if the shadows he’s seeing, always, always susan-shaped shadows, are of a ghostly nature or if he’s just hallucinating out of guilt. but the signs gradually point to the former— that smth paranormal is indeed going on. bc those scratches and bite marks susan left in his skin?

they do not heal. they do not get infected. they do not become necrotic. but they do not heal, either. days turn into wks and the wounds still look fresh, like she just left them moments ago. neil can’t wear light colors anymore because his wounds weep red into the fabric. he isn’t just seeing susan’s shadows either, he’s smelling her.

he washes his sheets and pillowcases a dozen times and the scent of her shampoo, her lotion, it’s like it’s woven into the fibers. he walks into the hallway and chokes on the aroma of susan’s perfume. he wonders if max is screwing with him, if max figured it out and she’s trying to torture him into a confession. one day he stomps off to max's bedroom, furious, adamant on confronting her. he grabs her doorknob, prepared to yank it open and then lets out a yelp, jerking his hand back with a sudden sharp pain.

it feels like a bee sting (which would be esp bad for this fucker in anything i write, bc i headcanon him as being allergic). but there’s no stinger. no injury. nothing. neil is freaked out enough that he backs down.

max, on the other hand, is getting gentler signs. when she turns the radio dial in the camaro, it’s somehow always her mom’s favorite songs that come thru the speakers. when she goes to pull clothes out of her drawers in the morning, she discovers that the things she’d just shoved inside in wrinkled balls are perfectly folded, neat as a pin, exactly like how susan always folded. susan was always fond of cardinals and suddenly max is seeing cardinals, pretty red cardinals, in just abt erry tree and shrub.

neil wakes up one night to his wife’s voice whispering “boo” right in his ear. he throws the covers off and discovers ashes in the bed. he doesn’t smell susan’s shampoo or lotion anymore, he smells the kerosine he’d poured all over her body.

his wounds still won’t heal. whenever he looks in the mirror, he catches a glimpse of susan walking past behind him, peering at him from her peripheral. he whips around, heart hammering, but there’s never any tangible person there.

max is almost certain her mother is dead at this point. neil’s been so bizarrely nice to her lately. she never believed in ghosts but her experiences with the upside-down broadened her perception of reality. she doesn’t know how else to explain the songs, the cardinals, the folded clothes. the way that these days, whenever she does feel fear toward neil, it just fades away. her fear melts like popsicles in the sun, immediately replaced by the sensation of a warm, maternal hug, as if arms she can’t see are trying to reassure her she truly doesn’t need to be afraid of him anymore.

in fact, max feels so unafraid of neil and brave, that one night she calls him out on it. he’s grizzled and unshaven in his recliner, beer in hand. she steps in front of the television he’s vacantly fixated on and folds her arms across her chest.

“you killed my mom, didn’t you?”

quick as a flash, neil leaps to his feet. he brings his arm back like he’s going to strike her and susan’s ceramic pelican on the mantle explodes into shards. the lights flicker, the television program cuts to snow with a static roar. every other knickknack on the mantle rattles and framed photos tumble off the wall.

neil very wisely lowers his hand. he slumps, boneless. he doesn’t say a word. max sees the answer in his eyes. it’s the dead of night and she snatches the camaro keys off the hook, marching out of the house, slamming the door behind her. it’s the dead of night and she doesn’t care. she’s going to blow past every stop sign and pound on the chief’s door until he opens up. and fuck, i just realized if this is post s3 he’s supposed to be in russia. shit. i don’t watch this show, but i know abt russia bc i DID watch the clips of that demogorgon that i rly hope isn’t stuck in captivity!! okay, but let’s pretend that didn’t happen?

it’s an au?? i mean, errything i write is always technically an au anyway, bc when i write stuff susan has an actual personality and billy isn’t *completely* abhorrent. okay, so it’s an au and mr. hopper didn’t blow up and un-blow up in russia. he’s still here. so max drives to his house.

she pounds on the door so hard this guy snaps outta bed, thinking someone’s trying to bust it down. she tells him neil confessed to killing her mom. it isn’t true, exactly, but he didn’t have to. so it’s a helluva grim drive back to cherry lane, this time in the cop car.

but when they go inside, chief prepared to arrest neil, no need. neil’s hanging from the belt he strangled susan with, shirtless for the first time since that night, erry seemingly fresh furrow and bite mark on full display. below his dangling feet is a map, the area he burned susan’s corpse in circled in red marker. did he kill himself or did the ghost do it?

up to u, we soundlessly cut to credits without a concrete answer to that question.

horror movie #3: crossover special! stranger things meets the chilling adventures of sabrina. sequel to that fic i wrote where susan makes out with lilith, queen of hell, and lilith kills neil for her. sue officially joins the church of lilith. bc in this ‘verse the church of lilith actually happens after caos s2 instead of the nonsense that was s3 and the inconceivably godawful migraine-inducing shit-fest that was s4.

killing neil was lilith’s only freebee. susan isn’t a witch, she’s a mortal, so in order to reap the other rewards of worshipping the one and only mother of demons, she has to fornicate with the witches and participate in the sacrifices!!!

this is, uh, well. it’s p much a porno, dude, sorry. 😅

this is just an excuse for susan to have sex with lilith, zelda, marie, hilda, big witch orgies + susan. witches bathing in the blood of their sacrifices, susan so nervous and timid but unable to deny her desire. the witch’s dressing her in their gothic garb.

how does the rest of the fam get it on this?

max joins the church too. she has more age-appropriate conduct with sabrina and the weird sisters, and what have you. just smooches and over-the-clothes groping, and whatnot, even tho the weird sisters, at least, would be interested in going further if given the opportunity.

billy dies in starcourt again, so he gets revived in the cain pit! hilda is the one who goes to him after bc she’s been in the cain pit many a time (i am still BIG side-eyeing zelda for repeatedly murdering her sister since childhood). hilda understands how jarring it can be to come back. suddenly alive!billy is freaking tf out but she brings him inside the mortuary, wraps him up in a big blanket burrito and they have a talk. hilda explains that he’s going to be okay and rubs his back while he tentatively sips the hot chocolate she made.

after billy’s calmed down, she brings max and susan in. max and susan can’t do as much magic as the caos witches— they’re mortals, after all, it’s not in their nature —but they’ve gained some abilities thru being in the church, following the rituals, and being carnally involved with the immortal witches. max happily shows him some of her new magic tricks.

horror movie #4: another crossover with caos. heavily inspired by creepshow episode s2e1, model kid (which i already v blatantly referenced in the last axe snafu update and i’m not ashamed, bc it’s a good series i love v much).

billy picks max up from the byers’ place rly late one night. it’s dark and the weather is bad and okay, yeh, he might be a little high. and a little concussed. he pissed neil off pretty bad the other day and okay, actually he’s defo concussed bc he doesn’t even remember what he did wrong!

needless to say, they take a wrong turn somewhere. they end up in greendale. at first max is pissed. she yells at him a lot! yells so loud hilda can hear them thru the walls of dr. cerberus’s comic shop/diner. she goes outside to see what all the fuss is abt, hilda never rly ignores youth in need. we love hilda, she deserved so much better…i’m getting distracted, okay, back to the story.

hilda ushers them inside. max is like, “ooh, comics? horror junk and comics? nvm, i’m not mad anymore.” she pats billy’s arm and wanders away to go check stuff out! hilda makes billy sit down. caos canon established that she’s psychic, at least when she wants to be. she smells the weed but she also sees his life, his trauma. billy doesn’t remember what he did to piss neil off or the abuse that followed, but hilda sees it clear as day.

he’s rude and cranky w her when she probes a little too much for his liking. hilda gently but firmly reprimands him and gets him a milkshake on this house. then she goes to check on max. she steers max to a v particular section of the shop, the one that sells model kits. now, max isn’t *huge* into model kits BUT they are p neat and she enjoys them well enough. more so when the weather is nasty and she can’t go outside. or when she needs smth to do with her hands (a trait she shares w susan) to distract herself and ease some of the anxiety when she hears her brother being beaten or her mother being shouted at.

max is actually rly impressed by the array of models. vintage ones and newer ones. monsters, slashers, final girls, tiny accessories like knives and bloodied heads. but when she gets to the paint-your-own shelf, her jaw drops to the floor.

there’s one that looks just like neil. unpainted, plain gray vinyl, but undoubtedly her stepdad. the expression on the five inch figurine is one frozen in fear.

“i think that one’s calling to you,” hilda prompts her, with the softest smile.

max blinks away her bewilderment altho she still can’t speak. she turns to hilda and turns her empty pockets inside out. hilda just waves her hand. she tells her it’s on the house. that it wouldn’t be fair if she gave billy smth on the house, but not max.

speaking of billy, when he finishes his milkshake, he’s suddenly totally sober and healed!! no more high buzzing in his blood. no more pounding headache or concussion fogging his mind. he doesn’t feel his bruises anymore, rolls his sleeve up, and realizes they simply aren’t there anymore. like they dissolved off his skin.

albeit it’s muttered under his breath, but billy does thank hilda. then he and max are on their way. max shows him the suspiciously familiar figurine in the box. this night cannot get weirder.

max knows what to do with the model kit. she does. she isn’t sure how she knows, but she does. she grapples with it for a long time. neil’s the closest thing she has to a dad these days. and things aren’t bad all the time, ofc.

sometimes neil gives max a ride when mom and billy aren’t available. sometimes he brings her ice cream entirely unprompted. neil’s the one who picks max up off the sidewalk when she wipes out super bad on her skateboard, carries her inside and then later to the car when her cut doesn’t stop bleeding and she ends up needing stitches.

but most of the time he sucks. she can’t rly be herself around him. he's indifferent to her interest at best, scornful at worst. he would hate all her friends. he scares the shit out of her when he’s angry. he doesn’t have a problem belittling her mother in front of her, tearing susan to shreds and making her out like she’s lower than dirt, the most worthless person on the planet. doesn’t have a problem beating billy in front of her or glaring at her with the promise that she’ll be next if she dares to voice her dissent.

max doesn’t always want to do what she knows she’s meant to do with the model. bc she's kind at heart and bc on the good days, she genuinely does have mixed feelings toward neil. never enough to hope he'll be better, he's proven he won't...but maybe enough to hope he won't get worse, either.

then comes the night neil breaks ribs. bad, like we’re talking, a-sharp-spear-of-broken-rib-punctures-billy’s-lung-and-he’s-coughing-up-blood-bad. that’s a trip to the emergency room. in the days that follow, at her next dnd meeting w the party, max places the fully and attentively painted model of her stepdad on the table. normally her pals would protest her derailing the intended game, but they can sense it, yk, that smth is different.

max takes over as dungeon master to the protest of no one, all other mouths sealed as if bewitched and spellbound. she narrators a scene where the demogorgon devours neil and uses the demogorgon piece and the model for demonstration.

when max returns home, neil is strewn across the house in gory chunks and torn wallpaper curls around massive claw marks.

[cheeriecherry]

Reactions to our boi finding out that not only were you a fan before meeting but you were fan who wrote smut about them? A secret you've kept hidden but now... Aizawa, Mic, Nighteye

I’m still sick but i need to do something before i go nuts lol, but I’m sorry if it’s a little questionable, I’m like, half awake oof

Warnings: some mentions of smut but nothing super explicit

AIZAWA SHOUTA

-So he’s not necessarily a well known hero, or at least he isn’t usually in the running with the media. So he probably doesn’t have that much merch, or it’s really hard to find.

-So he notices the first time you let him into your room that you have an adorable tsumtsum of him. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even let on that he saw it, but he knows that it was probably hard for you to get. He figures out right then that you’re some kind of fan.

-But he thinks it’s pretty casual, and he’s actually (secretly) a little bit pleased that you admire him so much, especially if you don’t have any other hero merch.

-He doesn’t catch on until much later that you write smut about him.

-Like, he knows that such things exist. It’s just how people are, we all love our fanfic. 

-He doesn’t think much of your writing habits at first, always assumes you’re working on papers or other things for your job. He only starts to get suspicious when he walks in on you one night and you get flustered and slap your laptop closed.

-He’s not gonna pry into your business, but he’s definitely curious. 

-After that incident, you start writing less around him, and he starts to to worry. Like, all he did was walk into the room, but he didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. He’s also a little perturbed that you feel like you have to hide things from him.

-He’ll probably ask you about it within a couple weeks, or rather he’ll tell you that you don’t have to be ashamed of the things you’re working on, no matter what it is.

-And you appreciate the sentiment, but you seriously don’t know what you’d do if your boyfriend realized you write porn about him. Most of it’s fantasies you’ve had about him, but written to cater to all his fans.

-You’re not super possessive of him, so like, you don’t mind that people thirst over him. You know that at the end of the day, you’re the only one who’s got his attention.

-But then you fall asleep on the couch one night. You had intended to just shut your eyes for a moment to give them a break, so you’d left your laptop open and leaned back on the sofa. Shouta wasn’t supposed to be home for another couple hours, so you figured you’d be safe.

-But you end up falling asleep, and he ends up coming home early.

-He thinks you’re cute when he sees you cozied up on the cushions, but he sees that your laptop is about to die. He has no idea where you usually keep the cord, so he...well, his intention is to save whatever documents you were so hard on, so you didn’t lose your progress. But his eyes scan a few lines without thinking, and before long he’s reading through the whole thing.

-Ngl he’s flustered as hell. He’ll never admit it, but the things you’ve written are absolutely filthy. It’s nothing like anything you’ve ever done in the bedroom, which he’s actually grateful for (he doesn’t want his sex life being broadcasted on the internet, even if you do work under an alias), but reading your work is giving him ideas.

-Do you actually want to do things like this with him? Or is it really just a fantasy, a story written to appease other people.

-Of course, he’s also a teacher so he finds himself critiquing your writing style and use of language. It’s actually pretty good writing, however sinful the subject matter.

-He quickly goes to save the document, but right as he does, you stir awake.

-He looks at you, you look at him. You’re sleepy as hell, and he’s pink in the cheeks, and you just know right off the bat that he’s figured you out.

-You immediately hide your face in your hands and mumble out an ‘oh god im sorry you were never supposed to find out’ and he’s like ‘how the hell do i approach this’ because it’s such an embarrassing situation when it’s happening.

-He tells you that it’s okay, he really doesn’t mind that you write stuff like that. And truthfully he doesn’t. Lots of people write works directed at adults, and there’s nothing wrong with it. He’s just....it’s the fact that you’re writing about him. Of all the heroes you could have chosen from, you chose him. To write about, to appreciate, to pursue romantically.

-It’s turns into a mushy moment, because of course you chose him?? He’s kind and smart and loving and he cares a lot about you and other people. Plus he’s handsome as heck.

-You’re both still a little shy about it when you head to bed a few minutes later, but you still cuddle up to him in the dark and rest your head on his chest.

-But right when you think all is said and done, he asks ‘Is any of that stuff something you’d ever want to try?’ and a whole new wave of embarrassment washes over you. Like jesus christ have some tact Shouta.

-Whether or not you guys end up experimenting a little more is up to you, but it definitely feels nice to not have to hide it so much. You’re still a little iffy about actually showing him what you write, but that’s mostly because you’re worried your skills won’t be up to his standards.

YAMADA HIZASHI

-Definitely didn’t know you were a fan of his the first few times you met. You acted so normal around him, like he was just another guy, so he figured he wasn’t on your radar. Which is fine by him, he tries not to pursue fans simply because that attraction might not be genuine, y’know?

-Like, ‘is this person with me because they like the idea of me, or because they actually like me’ sort of thing.

-And you’re not an overzealous fan by any means, but the first time he visits your house he realizes he was mistaken. You have a couple of his collectibles; the nice ones that are tasteful, not the corny ones that are a quick cash grab for companies.

-He’s like ??? you didn’t tell me???

-And you’re like ???no???

-Honest to god you didn’t recognize him at first. You’d been in a dimly lit, high-end club, he’d had his hair down, you’d both had a couple of drinks. He just happened to be a guy that you had some things in common with, who was nice to talk to and who made you laugh.

-It relaxes him a little, knowing that you would have been into him even if he wasn’t a hero and a super popular DJ with a radio show. And by the time he’s coming over to your house, you guys probably know each other pretty well anyways. He’s let you into his life, but you’ve also let him into yours.

-He teasingly asks you if you’ve got any more little secrets (even though this was hardly a secret), and he doesn’t expect when you get flustered af and squeak out a ‘nope, not a single one, no secrets’. But he doesn’t think more of it until much later.

-Like, several months later. After you guys move in together.

-He knows that smut about heroes exists, he knows that there is smut about him, and if I’m being honest he probably reads it for shits and giggles. Never to make fun of anyone, but he’s honestly just curious about what people are writing.

-He notices that you write a lot, too. You never show him anything, and whenever he asks about it you tell him it’s ‘just work’. He wonders what kinds of projects you’re taking on that involve so much typing and concentration, and ngl he’s a little sad that you don’t tell him about it.

-Like, sure maybe it’s just work and you’re not particularly invested in it, but he always talks about his students, and his shows, and the ongoings at his job, he just wants to know more about what you do.

-He is a smart man, but sometimes he has stupid ideas.

-He concocts the wise plan to sneak onto your laptop while you’re in the shower and read your most recent document. Not being wholly nosey, just enough so he can do a little research on the subject and learn more about it. He just wants to know.

-Throws him for one bigass loop when he sees what you are actually working on. He’s no stranger to kinky shit, but his entire face goes beet red, redder than any fanfiction has ever made him.

-Something about that fact that it’s you who wrote this, and you who’re thinking those things about him, entertaining ideas like that. Like yeah, y’all have slept together but he had absolutely no clue you’d even be into stuff like that.

-And sure, you could just be writing things for your fans, but you also seem pretty knowledgeable on the subject so like. You had to have some interest in it, right?

-And now he’s thinking about trying those things out with you, and his pants are just a tad bit tighter than could be considered comfortable.

-He’s so distracted he doesn’t notice the shower turn off, nor does he hear you walk into the room. He does, however, catch your hideously embarrassed squawk.

-Which then makes him flustered, because he got caught, and you’d better pat yourself on the back for that one because you’re one of the only people that can make him embarrassed like that.

-But then he’s trying to explain himself, and you’re trying to explain yourself, and it’s a whole mess of words and burning cheeks and somehow you end up both admitting that the things you write about would be real fun to try.

-Lol you guys probably just end up in bed together after that,

-But despite the initial awkwardness, he’s pretty cool with it. He likes your writing, and how involved you are with the community. It’s also handy for him because it lets him keep an ear to his fans without digging too deep, you always let him know what kind of stuff everyone is up to.

-best use it to your advantage, tell him all kinds of filthy things that you’ve come across, especially if it something you know he’ll like. It’s a sure way to get him in the mood >u>

SASAKI MIRAI|SIR NIGHTEYE

-He’s nonplussed about whether or not you’re a fan at first. He doesn’t pay you much mind until he scopes out your sense of humour, or until you say something offhandedly and it makes him laugh.

-Fan or not, if you’re funny and you vibe with each other, then he’ll show some kind of interest in you. It’ll take a little while to progress to something romantic, but in the meantime you’ve got a nice friend.

-He’s kinda busy, so you probably don’t invite him over to your place until a couple months in. Your schedules are conflicting, and you’ve both got important jobs to do, so it’s probably been pushed back a couple times. But he finally makes it over one evening for a night of relaxing socialization.

-You know him well enough to know that it wouldn’t bug him that you were a fan of him before you met him. He’s not the kind of person to make a big deal about it, not really. He sees a couple pieces of merch around your apartment, just small things -some of which he’s surprised to managed to get a hold of- and he’s like ‘okay’

-Like, he really doesn’t care. As long as you treat him like a person and you’re not using him for anything, then hes just.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-It’s only afteryou start dating and getting close that he teases you a little bit for it. Not in a rude way, just in an ‘aw you sleep with a plushie of me’ way. He does it so he can fluster you and ruffle your feathers in a loving manner.

-After you move in with him, he notes that you’re on your computer a lot. He figures it’s just an overbearing workload that requires a lot of time, so he reminds you whenever he can to take a break and stretch and give your eyes a rest.

-He’d leave it alone mostly, so in order for him to find out that you’re actually writing smut, he’d have to catch you in the act. He comes home early one evening to get a little extra time with you, and he follows the tapping of the keyboard into your office. You haven’t noticed that he’s even there, that’s how focused you are.

-So he sneaks up behind you with the intent to startle you and wrap you up in a hug, but looking over your shoulder he gets a good view of your screen...and the words on the screen...and his name on the screen...

-It takes you a couple seconds to figure out he’s there, which is dumb because he’s literally just frozen over your shoulder going over the sentences you’ve written as his face gets redder and redder.

-Anyways, he still manages to scare you, and you leap out of your seat and fall onto the floor, but instead of hugging you and saying hello like he originally intended, he’s just kind of frozen on the spot with the pinkest cheeks you’ve seen him have.

-He’s a pretty stoic guy most of the time, at least on the outside. It’s really hard to fluster him, because most of your attempts either make him laugh because you’re cute, or result in some really nice romantic time. He’s just. Not really shy about stuff?

-But this is a whole different thing.

-You’re on the floor dying of embarrassment and telling him not to read, but he is Looking and Not Listening. You just seem so innocent and chill about things, he never would have expect something like this from you. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just really surprising.

-Secretly he’s a little bit pleased that you’re writing this kind of stuff about him, and not some other heroes, but he probably won’t say it out loud. Not to mention your writing is actually really good? Like, it flows perfectly and the descriptions are easy to imagine but not super complicated or convoluted.

-He’s a smart guy, and he knows that fans of heroes are into all kind of things, fanfiction included. He’s not offended by it, by any means. He just never supposed that he’d be popular enough to warrant fanfic about him, let alone written by his own partner.

-He tries to be chill about it, asking you if you’re into that kind of stuff and if you should switch it up in the bedroom a bit. It’s pretty obvious he’s flustered tho. 

-It would probably lead to a good long talk about what sort of stuff you’re both into, after the initial embarrassment dies down. And honestly, he’s home early to spend time with you, so why not just try some stuff out right now?  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-He would definitely read your fics if you want him to, hell, even if you don’t outright ask him he might seek them out out of curiosity. He’s usually busy in the day, but he’ll find time to read through things and give you honest feedback.

-Lol tho if you’re still shy about it, he might make an account with an alias just so he can give you nice comments. It doesn’t take very long for you to figure him out though. He’s got a very specific typing style and his personality shines through, but only people who know him would recognize it.

-I headcanon this guy as a kinky mf ngl, but also as someone who can go without hardcore stuff, y’know? So whether or not you actually want to try out some of your fantasies is up to you, but he’s 100% down for it.

[iheartbookbran]

Anthony, Penelope, Marina and Colin deserved better...

Beware, rant ahead

Ok I wish I didn’t feel such strong need to continue beating this dead horse but oopsie, I will very much be beating it some more.

Like, my fave books of the Bridgerton series are Anthony’s and Colin’s books, so I’m seething about what they did with their characterizations, Anthony and Penelope in particular, because Colin’s only real sin was being boring, and if you remember how funny he’s in the books it makes me wanna fall on my knees and ask Chris Van Dusen whyyyy omg why would you do something like that to such a dynamic character. So yeah, Colin is boring af and a moron but at least he isn’t an asshole the way show Anthony and Penelope are, and I’ve seen people say that they can always be redeemed in future seasons, if we get them, but that’s exactly my problem, because they never had to be redeemed in the books, to begin with. Penelope more so than Anthony but let me begin by defending my boy.

Is he a jerk sometimes? Sure. Is he actively awful and uncaring towards those close to him, especially his family? Hell no, quite the opposite, in fact. Not to be controversial on main but in the books... he was right in not wanting Daphne to be courted by a man who he knew damn right had no intention of marrying her and as far as he was aware was only making her waste her time, and he was right in demanding Simon pay for compromising her honor. Could he have been more mindful of what Daphne had to say and listened to her wishes? Of course, but considering Simon and Daphne (both in the show and in the books) aren’t exactly masters in communication themselves, Anthony doesn’t come off as the biggest offender in that situation.

What he never did was force Daphne, or any of his sisters really, to do anything; if they didn’t like a guy then that guy was out of their lives no question asked, and he loved them enough to always have their best interests at heart, for his sisters and his brothers, to the point that even though he’s traumatized and thinks he’s gonna die young he’s still willing to get past that to do his duty and marry, because he doesn’t want to pass that burden on to his little brothers (so him deciding to leave all his responsibilities to Benedict so he can fck off with his mistress is... like, a choice lmao). In fact all the subplot with Siena felt like a choice on the writers part, like they truly liked Benedict and Sophie’s story so they just slapped it on Anthony so he could act all sad and sexy while they gave us foreshadowing with the subtlety of a warharmer that he’s ending up with Kate anyways (and that Benedict is ending with Sophie anyways too, so they would be using that storyline twice, unless they do make him bi and fall in love with a man, but maybe that’s too much of ask for this show), so what was Siena’s purpose in the story? Who tf knows not me.

Now Penelope, my god. Yes I know I joke Penny has never done anything wrong in her life, and I still love her, but she was wrong. Very much so. What she did was significantly worse than what Marina did, which I still don’t condone at all. Like yes, I still maintain that Marina tricking Colin into marriage was wrong (and I’ll go later on why that whole subplot was racist af), but what Penelope did could have not only ruined Marina and herself and her sisters reputations, but it was basically condemning an innocent unborn child to a life in the streets, that’s messed up. Even if Marina was rose-coloring her potential life with Colin and he might have grown to resent her, at least the baby would’ve been alright. And my problem with that whole subplot is that all of it was resolved so neatly, with Sir Phillip sweeping in to save the day so we don’t have to actually see what Penelope’s actions could have caused, but the implications are still very much there.

And I’m cracking my mind trying to figure out whether the showrunners just... really hate Colin’s book and Penelope as a character so they’re trying to inflict some kind of character assassination on her so they can get away with writing him off with another person without causing much outrage, or if they just thought there wasn’t enough ~drama~ or stakes on their book so they have to add them, and give him some kind of bullshit tragic romantic past to explain why he doesn’t want to marry, whereas in the books, the reason he doesn’t marry anyone is because he doesn’t feel like it, and that’s ok, there’s no need for every character to have a tragic backstory and to be riddled with angst; Colin is that character, he’s an easy going guy who’s just not interested in marriage until he falls in love with Penny AND THAT’S VALID, just because he doesn’t have the most complex motivations out there doesn’t mean he isn’t a compelling character. The stakes in his story after he discovers Penny is Whistledown are, as he points out, that she has insulted so many people there’s no way some of them wouldn’t want to retaliate if word came out, and he cares for her and doesn’t want her to get hurt (there’s also a dumb part about him being secretly jealous of her accomplishments as Whistledown, but thankfully he gets over that pretty quickly).

But while I am on that, it is true that Penelope wrote some uncharitable things about the mean people around her, but she never ever ruined someone’s reputation, let alone endanger the future of a child. Was she a bitch sometimes? Yeah, but she was also kind to a lot of people and her criticism was never unwarranted and never did more damage than maybe annoy a couple of girls like Cressida. I just hate the idea of this needing to turn into some sort of ~redemption arc~ for Penelope because, again, in the books she really didn’t have to make up for anything, definitely not to Colin, who was actually the one who had to do much of the heavy lifting in their relationship when he realized that he literally slept on her for years.

And now regarding Marina, like yes, she was wrong and I stand by that statement (but not as wrong as Penelope), but tbh I find it hard to be mad at her when they gave her such a racist storyline, as the scheming woc who gets pregnant out of wedlock and then tries to seduce the innocent white man, until the virtuous white girl needs to step up to save him. At least that’s what I thought initially as the writers intention, but honestly I’m not so sure anymore, I doubt they will continue to write her and Colin as a couple otherwise they would’ve bothered to show them interacting outside of her manipulating him and him acting like a bumbling idiot, the most sincere moment they had together was when he comforted her about the lie, but by that time this bitch (me) was empty and didn’t give a shit anymore. Literally all their other interactions where shown through Penelope’s POV to let us know she was sad, and Colin’s most significant scenes where again... with Penelope (because it isn’t as if he has a family and his own moments in the books outside of being an object for Penelope to pine after).

And as I said before, Marina had a—relatively—happy ending: married to a man she doesn’t love (just as she didn’t love Colin) but who will treat her right and care for her and her child in comfort. Is arguably a better ending than if she’d married Colin because now she doesn’t have to go through the trouble of explaining things to her new husband and run the risk of him resenting her forever. Phillip may not love her but he knows who he’s marrying and why he’s marrying her. That’s literally the same fate Marina had in the books, and it makes me wonder why, oh why would the writers do that.

Why create such a contrived plot to give a character who appears in one(1) chapter of an 8 books series then promptly dies, all at the expense of the characterization of one of the most beloved heroines of said books series? Why would you write this racist storyline for a character whose fate is dying? And now I’m horrified at the repercussions that can come with Marina committing su*cide like in canon, because the implications would be that Penelope would be responsible for it (and I hate the idea of blaming one person for the su*cide of another, fictional or otherwise, is harmful and we need to be careful with making such implications), which would make her even less redeemable or like, likable in general. Not to mention that would be like putting the final racist nail in Marina’s coffin by giving her that ending.

It makes me wonder, seriously, if Chris Van Dusen hated Romancing Mister Bridgerton that much, if he loathed the idea of writing a fat character finding love and getting sex that much. I just wanna know why lmfao.

[jensungf]

𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 ∞ 𝐩.𝐣𝐬

summary: park jisung was supposed to be more than a passing cloud, than a fleeting moment. 

pairing: reader + park jisung ft. childhood friend!mark genre: high school!au, angst, fluff, some comedy too cus dreamies are funny af word count: 7.7k warnings: language, mentions of nausea

author’s note: i’m super happy to announce that i hit my first follower milestone!! thank you to the 100+ precious people who decided to follow my horrid blog, i really appreciate each and everyone one of you and i hope you enjoy this story to celebrate!

this is a sequel to my story passing clouds so please check that out first before you read this.

Jisung felt sick to his stomach. Like the time Donghyuck had somehow managed to convince him, or more so, drag him against his will onto that horrid Viking ride that day they went to the theme park together. Jisung had clutched onto the bars for dear life, and he could’ve sworn that his stomach flipped-flopped inside out and back again, with his life flashing before his eyes, all while his friends laughed at his misery. But now, along with the deja vu in the form of nausea churning in his stomach; he felt as if his chest was being constricted from the unbearable weight of guilt that was consuming his body. The gloomy skies thundered outside, as if the heavens above were laughing at his misery. As if they were chanting a mantra, reminding him that he fucked up as his head replayed the words you had sobbed just mere moments ago. He should’ve known it was a bad idea then — yet only after facing the pit in his stomach and the echoes of your cries did he know how ditching you was in fact, an irreversible mistake that might’ve cost him more than just his friendship with you.

He clenched his fists, knuckles turning white from the iron-grip on his phone as his arms fell limply to his side. What had he done?

Jaemin spoke first, as the boys all quieted down from their gaming soon after witnessing the conversation. “What the hell did you do, Jisung?”

Jisung winced. Jaemin rarely swore around him, much less directly at him. He knew he fucked up, and his friends could see the defeat in his eyes. The tension in the air thickened as Jisung’s mouth parched, unable to find the right words that could give a single reasonable explanation as to why he chose to do what he did.

“I fucked up,” he croaked plainly, running his hand hurriedly through his hair. “I hurt (Y/N).”

Jaemin’s hand balled up as he narrowed his eyes. He cared for you a lot — all the boys did. They loved you like their own sister. Jaemin’s expression softened at the sight of the youngest’s agony but he remained stern. “What did you do, Jisung?”

“(Y/N) and I.. we were supposed to go to the movies together today. But I never showed up.” Jisung’s knees felt like giving out. “I didn’t think she would actually be that upset that I didn’t show up! I-I thought she would just call someone else to watch it with her, or something. I didn’t she would blow up at me...”

“How could you not expect her to blow up at you when you literally stood her up?” Jaemin furrowed his eyebrows in disbelief. Jisung bit his lip in reluctance and the other boys frowned. Jisung was usually rational, and thought about his actions before he did anything. They didn’t understand what had led him to do this.

“Why did you flake on her?” Renjun asked quietly. Jisung averted his eyes, looking down at the floor. “I don’t know. I just felt like it.”

Donghyuck scoffed, “That’s such bullshit and you know it.”

Chenle’s frown deepened. Seeing his closest friend trying to deflect the truth was so unusual. He tried to piece it together, hitting the nail on the head with a simple question.

“Don’t you like her?”

Jisung’s heart twisted into knots. “What? O-Of course I do, she’s my friend.”

“No, of course you like her Jisung, we all do. I’m asking if you like her.”

A pause hung in the air as they all patiently waited for his answer (despite the obvious.)

“Y-Yeah. I do. I like her so much, guys. And I freaking messed up.” He confessed, choking up as tears prickled his eyes. “I was scared. We planned this last week while we were studying, and I thought she was joking about it being a movie date but she was actually serious and kept bringing it up.”

“That’s a good thing though, isn’t it? You could’ve made a move on her.” Donghyuck pointed out in slight disbelief.

“I know, but I got scared! I thought.. what if she didn’t like me back, and I was taking this the wrong way? I didn’t want to make the next step and embarrass myself when— if she rejected me. I knew it was childish of me to try and be cool and play it off, but… I don't know. I-I really just thought she could do better...” Jisung buried his head into his hands, his shame and insecurities washing over him. “Mark just came back into town too, and I always thought he was a better match for her than me.”

He sucked in his breath, lips quivering. “I.. I told myself that if I just chickened out then she would replace me with him or something. So it didn’t matter if I went or not.”

“(Y/N) would never do that and you know that! It’s so obvious she likes you back,” Chenle couldn’t help but grow frustrated at how unreasonable Jisung was being with the whole situation. How could he possibly even think like that?

Jaemin inhales deeply, shaking his head in disapproval. “If you really liked her back, then you would’ve thought about how your actions would have affected her and how she would’ve reacted.”

Jisung lifts his head up, eyes bloodshot as tears drip down his face. “Guys, I fucked up. I hurt her feelings and—” His breath hitched, “S-she told me that I could go play whatever games I wanted as long as they weren’t with her! I didn’t mean to make her feel like she was just someone I used to pass time or she was a game!”

“Jisung, of course she would think that way! You can’t just mess around with her feelings like that. You ditched her without even giving her a plausible reason or heads up, and you argued with her and said that we mattered more than she did, even though we’re all friends!” Jaemin huffed exasperatedly.

He pauses to catch his breath, almost sobbing at this point. “I don’t know how to fix this. What if she never forgives me?”

“I’m so disappointed in you, Jisung. How do you expect her to forgive you?” Jaemin suddenly stands up, throwing his hands up in frustration.

Everyone’s eyes widened at Jaemin’s irritated tone. He rarely ever scolded Jisung, always showering the younger boy in love and affection. He even treated him like his little brother. Jisung's mouth hung agape at Jaemin’s harsh words. He knew he deserved it, but it stung even more coming from Jaemin.

Jaemin scowled before turning his back and storming out of the room. Everyone froze, stunned.

Jeno was the first to react. “I’ll go talk to him,” he said before stepping outside of the room.

The rest of the boys turned to Jisung who was flopped on the floor, his usually tall stature curling into a tiny ball like a small child. Chenle sighed before getting up to rub Jisung’s back comfortingly.

“You made a big mistake,” Renjun says bluntly from his spot.  

“But so does everyone. Everyone has their insecurities, Jisung. You’re still growing so you still have an opportunity to learn from them so you don’t make the same ones again. But it’s a fleeting opportunity so don’t take it for other’s kindness for granted. You owe her an apology, and if you’re sincere enough, she’ll at least hear you out. You know how (Y/N) is — she’s a very understanding person.”

Chenle and Donghyuck nod their head in agreement. “We’ve all made mistakes before. It’s a part of life.” Chenle adds.

Jisung weakly mumbles a thank you, wiping the tears from his swollen face. The boys all give him a pat on the back and a tight-lipped smile. As much as they agreed that what he did was wrong, he was still their brother. It was their job to be there for him, to support him and guide him along the path even if he made mistakes.

Jeno popped in from the doorway. “We’re going to go clean up for dinner. We’ll call you down when the food is ready.” The boys all begin to shuffle out, leaving Jisung alone with his thoughts.

He feels such agonizing frustration, but he knows that he has no one else to blame but himself. He was the sole reason you had been hurt. It was his fault, his actions, that caused you pain. At the sound of your sobs replaying through his head, he squeezes his eyes shut and clenches his hands so hard that his dull fingernails pierce the skin of his palms, leaving painful indents.

However, Jisung’s head snapped up as the door creaked open again. Jaemin's eyes softened as he took a seat next to Jisung.

“I’m sorry,“ Jisung mumbles, “I really hurt her even though I swear, I never meant to. You can be mad at me. I deserve it.”

Jaemin sighs before ruffling the younger’s head. “No, Jisung. I’m sorry for what I said.”

“I really care about both of you and I know you understand what you did was wrong. It really did hurt her, but she really likes you, you know. A lot more than you think.” Jaemin murmurs.

Jisung didn’t have the heart to tell Jaemin he didn’t actually know.

Although Jisung would always jokingly fight back against the older’s hugs when he would be the one initiating hugs and coddling him, this time, Jisung’s body relaxes as he lets the older boy wrap his arms around him.

“Thanks, Jaemin.” He sniffles. The older boy can only pull him in closer.

∞

He had a lot of work to do. Jisung sighs, leaning back in his chair before scribbling “Mission: Make it up to (Y/N)” on a piece of scratch paper. He scrutinized the blank page before groaning and crumpling it up in frustration.

Jisung facepalms the table with an astounding thud, earning a yelp from across him. “What the heck, Park Jisung! Are you trying to get a concussion?” Donghyuck screeched. The chocolate milk from his bowl of Fruity Pebbles cereal sloshes onto the surface of the table and into his lap.

“Sorry!” Jisung mutters. His older brother glares at him while furiously wiping his lap with napkins. “I just can’t think of how to get (Y/N) to forgive me. I suck at all this romantic gesture crap.”

Donghyuck wails, “Doesn’t mean you can just freaking slam your head into the table! What did the table ever do to you? Also now my favorite sweat-shorts are stained.”

Renjun walks by the kitchen and rolls his eyes in disgust. “First of all, who the hell eats fruity cereal with chocolate milk— you heathen. You deserved it.”

Donghyuck flicks his middle finger at Renjun’s back as Chenle bursts out in his iconic dolphin laughter.

“Jisung, if you get a concussion in this kitchen or break the table with that empty skull of yours, Jaemin is going to break your skull. And you know (Y/N) the best, don’t you? Use your remaining brain cells,” Renjun tutted with a pointed look.

Jisung nods but whispers something about there being only one brain cell in this whole damn house under his breath.

“Yeah, I know— ‘cause it belongs to me.”

Everyone simultaneously rolled their eyes at Renjun.

Jeno sits in front of the TV, fervently smashing buttons. His eyes never break away from the screen yet he manages to pipe up. “Why don’t you start by figuring out a list of what she likes?”

Jisung’s ears perk up at the suggestion. “That’s a great idea Jeno!” However, his excitement quickly turns into a huff of exasperation. “But (Y/N) likes so many things… Anime, ice cream, watching me dance, fangirling over —”

“Me, of course!” Hyuck singsongs with a cocky smirk.

The crumpled ball of paper smacks him dead in the nose. “Ow!”

“Wait, I know!” Jisung shouts enthusiastically as an idea pops into his head. The boys all turn to look at him. “She loves the cake from the bakery down the street!”

“Ah, Neo Bakery? The one with cherry bombs and puzzle piece cookies?” Jaemin asks.

Jisung nods, flashing his smile for the first time in days. “Yeah! Can we go right now? Please?”

“I don’t see why not,” Jaemin grins. All the boys shrug in agreement, and begin grabbing their jackets and shoes. Even Jeno leaves his game to join. But before they knew it, Jisung had dashed out the door, his sneakers barely on. “Meet you there!” He called out.

They all share a look and collectively sigh.

“He’s so whipped.”

“Yep.”

∞

By the time they had caught up to Jisung, they had found him standing in front of the quaint shoppe pacing back and forth like a lost child. Chenle shoulder-bumps him, causing him to stop in his tracks. “What the heck are you doing?”

“I didn’t want to go inside alone… It looks kind of empty,” He says sheepishly.

“Oh my god, you big baby, just go in and—” Donghyuck froze as the door he had pulled causes him to lurch forward. He tries to open the door again, but to no avail. It hadn’t budged.

Jisung runs up to the window, squishing his face against the cold glass to peer intently inside. It was empty.

“Guys,” Jeno whistled. They whirl their head in his direction. Renjun holds up a paper with the words “CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE” emblazoned in bold letters across the page. “You have got to be kidding me,” Jisung bemoans, accidentally hitting his head against the glass window in the process. He winces and rubs his reddening forehead.

“Keep that up and you’re going to lose all your brain cells before you even get a chance to speak to (Y/N),” Chenle snorts. Jisung’s nose scrunches up at his best friends and he turns to face everyone else. “Now what am I going to do?” He whines.

“I mean, are there any other places that she’d like?” asked Renjun.

Jisung shakes his head. “No, just that place. She really likes their strawberry cream cake.”

Jaemin wrinkles his nose at the mention of strawberry before he exclaims, “Ah! I got it!” A mischievous glint appears in his eyes. “Jeno, don’t you have Doyoung’s number?” Jeno stares at him quizzically before letting out a sound of realization and nodding. He quickly gets out his phone and scrolls until he finds the right contact while everyone else’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “We’re going to go to the supermarket now, let’s go Jisungie.” Jaemin beams proudly.

“What are you talking about? The supermarket? For what?”

“I got it!” Jeno announces, grinning before shoving his phone into Jisung’s ginormous hands. Jisung fumbles with it for a bit, earning a glare from Jeno. He gives an apologetic grin before looking down to read the screen.

“Woah, what? How’d you get the recipe!?” He exclaimed. Jeno shrugs yet doesn’t bother to hide his eye-smile. “I’m friends with Doyoung. He works there part-time as one of the bakers and he owes me a favor.”

“Wait, are we going to the supermarket to buy all the ingredients?” Jisung parrots bewilderedly. Chenle rolls his eyes and smacks his best friend upside the head, “Yes, you idiot. Now can we go? I’m starving too.”

Jisung’s smile ear to ear as they all make their way down the street. He was so lucky to have them.

∞

After a chaotic trip to the supermarket which had resulted in Renjun chasing down Hyuck in attempt to murder the cheeky boy for yet again trying to steal  his order of pork cutlet “by accident,” and Chenle trying to find his favorite Chinese ramen in the wrong aisle for a good 20 minutes, they had managed to get back home in one piece without getting kicked out by the manager again. (Everyone had blamed it on Jisung for accidentally knocking over the entire tower of cans on one of the tables, but he thought it was a stupid idea to even display cans in such a fashion. It wasn’t like it was one of Renjun’s weird art competitions or whatever.)

With the help of Jaemin and Jeno who both surprisingly had not fallen into the chaos, they had successfully checked off their shopping list.

“Now, we should measure out the ingredients first and then add it in so it makes it a lot quicker and easier,” Jaemin chastises as he puts on his apron. He turned around only to be met with the sight of Jisung coughing in the midst of a cloud of dust, desperately trying to wipe the cake flour that he had accidentally spilled everywhere off his black shirt.

“Park Jisung, I banned you from the goddamn kitchen for a reason but please, for the sake of (Y/N), get it together!”

Jaemin facepalmed. This was going to be a long ass ride afternoon.

∞

Cake was probably the most difficult thing Jisung has ever attempted to make in his life.“Why is this so hard? It’s just cake!” He stares at the gloppy mixture in front of him, lifting up the whisk only to be met with the sight of chunks of things he wasn’t even sure belonged in a cake.

First, it was the struggle with just simply washing strawberries. Jaemin had looked away for a single second and nearly went haywire when he saw what the younger boy was about to do.

Jisung had moved the strawberries into a bowl in the sink, running water and had just grabbed the container of green liquid when—

“Nooooooo! No!” screeched Jaemin. He smacked Jisung on the leg and scolded him with an incredulous look. “You don’t wash strawberries with dish soap, you idiot! Are you crazy!?”

Jisung shot him a puzzled look. “Wait, you don’t?”

With the self-restraint of every fiber in his body, Jaemin forced himself  to not strangle the other boy.

Then it was this. Jaemin should’ve known it was a horrible idea to try and even think about letting Jisung do this alone, but the boy had begged about about how he needed to prove himself to you and he needed all the credit. He pinched the bridge of his nose and left to go drag someone else in to help.

Jisung was perpetually frozen in his spot, his jaw still hung open. His brain was short-circuiting at this point. If he had followed all the instructions, how did it end up like this?

“You both are idiots,” Renjun shook his head, glaring at Jaemin who had dragged him away in the middle of a Moomin marathon and Jisung who was still blinking confusedly at the whisk in his hand.

“Please, Injunnie,” Jaemin pleaded, pouting with his lips puckered out and puppy-dog eyes. “Do it for (Y/N) and Jisung! We’re all counting on you!“

“Agh, fine.” Renjun rolled his eyes before going through the recipe once again.

“Oi, Park Jisung! Snap out of it!”  

“Huh, wha—?”

Renjun grabbed the whisk from him. He stares at the horrific mixture of what was definitely not cake batter and wrinkles his nose in disgust. “What the hell did you do?” He demands.

Jisung gives him a blank stare. Renjun examines the ingredients on the table and nearly faints.

“Jisung, this recipe says baking powder, not baking soda. And it says cake flour, you blockhead, not bread flour! Why do we even have bread flour!?”

“Actually, it’s because of Hyuck’s carb obsession,” Jaemin answers.

He immediately holds Renjun back from running off to fight the mentioned boy.

Jisung chortled, “Renjun, you’re the best!“

Renjun cuts him off by locking the taller boy in a loving chokehold and laughs. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Now help me would ya?”

∞

After about five hours of continuous screaming and threats of burning down the kitchen or someone’s hair (which may or may not be all by the hands of Renjun), they managed to successfully bake the cake. Jisung collapses on the couch besides his friends, finally giving his strained muscles a break from the hardcore struggle of baking. “Who knew baking was this hard?” Donghyuck teases the tired trio on the couch. Chenle laughs in delight at their suffering, and they all shoot him a dirty look. While they rest, Jeno begins cleaning the mess in the kitchen. “It looks like a goddamn tornado flew in here,” He mutters.

“My poor kitchen,” Jaemin weeps. He turns his head to pinch Jisung’s cheeks, “Ahhhh, the things I do for you and true love, my precious Jisungie.”

Jisung groans and slaps his hand away. Donghyuck and Chenle begin helping Jeno clean the mess as well. Just as they finish, the timer for the oven goes off.

Jisung sighs before getting up. “I’ll get it.” In his exhausted daze, he opens the oven and reaches out for the hot pan before —

“Ow, fuck!” He swears, retracting his now throbbing hand. “Language!” Jaemin scolds from his seat. Chenle rushes over, inspecting his hand. “Dude, are you okay?”

Jisung winces at the pain and mumbles, “I forgot the mitt.”

Jeno walks over and chides, “Go run it under cool water.” Jaemin and Renjun turned their heads from the couch. “Are you okay, ‘Sung?” Jaemin asks worriedly. Jisung nods weakly in response.

“We have burn salve, and I’ll help you bandage it afterwards,” Jeno grabs the burn salve from the cabinet and gently applies the salve to Jisung’s hand, who flinches even with the light pressure. “Chenle, can you get the cake?“ Jeno asks.

“I got it,” he reassures, skillfully taking the cake out with a mitt and closing the oven.

“Thanks,” Jisung then frowns at the white bandage wrapped around his palm. Y/N is probably going to freak if she sees this, he thinks to himself.

Despite the pain from his throbbing hand, the boys worked together to finish decorating the cake and celebrated by enjoying some of it as well. Surprisingly despite their clumsiness, it had turned out almost identical to the one from the bakery and didn’t taste bad at all. Now all Jisung had to do was just wait until he saw you tomorrow.

As he laid there in bed that night, he felt the gaping hole in his chest that had been masked by his chaotic day. He was missing something in his life the past couple of days. A hole in the shape of you. He felt like kicking something suddenly. Like himself. How could be so foolish as to push you away because of his own insecurities? You didn’t deserve a fool like him. The lump in his throat grew.

He closed his eyes tightly that night and sent a silent prayer up into the sky before he slept. Please give me another chance to love her. To make her happy.

∞

To say that Jisung was nervous, would be a great understatement. His entire livelihood depended on this. Well, maybe not livelihood but still. He didn’t know what he would do if you didn’t at least hear him out. He had trouble sleeping last night, his doubts and worries consuming him. The boys hadn’t questioned him this morning when they saw the bags under his eyes, yet still voiced their concerns only to be brushed off with a weak smile. This was what he deserved. And now he had to do what he must in order to earn your forgiveness. He had carefully wrapped the slice of strawberry cream cake in a box, with a red bow on top. He was never really one who was good at expressing his emotions through words, much less cheesy romantic gestures like this but he had practiced his apology at least a hundred times in front of his mirror the past few days. All he had to do now was just simply tell you it. Face to face.

His stomach churned as the memory of your cries and bitter words surfaced again. He shook his head in order to try and rid himself of those thoughts, which Chenle had noticed. He gave an encouraging pat to his friend’s back and murmured a soft “Hey, it’ll be okay.”

Jisung’s face twisted in slight anguish. “I don’t know, Lele…” He sighed. “I’m really scared. I really don’t know what I’d do if she doesn’t forgive me. I don’t even know if I really deserve another chance after what I did and said.”

“Jisung, she loves you a lot and you love her too. It would be foolish to say that you’d never hurt her but you need to prove that you won’t ever try and do it again. Just try your best and know that if she hears how sincere you are and see that you’re trying to learn from your mistakes, then you shouldn’t take that for granted ever again.” Chenle reassures.

Jisung smiles sadly before a look of determination replaces it. “Thanks, Chenle. It means a lot.”

Chenle smiles. “Any time, bro.”

∞

By the time lunch rolled around, Jisung felt like a shit ton of bricks had hit him. Usually, he would’ve seen you in the morning but you were nowhere to be found. He hadn't seen you in the halls or anywhere else at all, and worry was eating him up. Where in the world were you?

He took a seat besides his friends who all shot him a look of concern. “What’s wrong now?” Donghyuck questions gently. He hated seeing his youngest brother down in the dumps and although it was supposed to be resolved today, Jisung only looked more worn out.

“I haven't seen her at all today. Do you think she’s purposefully avoiding me?” Jisung feels his heart breaking even more at the possibility that you hated him to the point where you wouldn’t even want to see his face. His head drops in remorse.

“I don’t know,” Hyuck begrudgingly admits, “But don’t you have class with her?”

“Just some. But she was absent today. Usually I see her between classes as well and I haven’t seen her at all. What if she’s sick or she’s skipping class just to avoid me?”

“I doubt (Y/N) would ever skip class just for that reason… but you should just wait until class,” Renjun suggests. Jisung nods in disappointment, his expression resembling one of a kicked puppy. The boys exchange a look of pity and they eat their lunch quietly.

They could only hope for the best.

∞

Jisung mopes for the remainder of the day, feeling nothing but pure despair for his current situation. By the time the last class rolled around, he had basically given up on even seeing you today or even ever again for that matter. He stares at the dainty bag he prepared for you in deep regret before a familiar figure passes by him. (Y/N)?

His head snaps up so quickly he’s sure he almost gave himself whiplash.

It was you. You were here. You were here!

Relief washes throughout his body. His eyes followed you as you walked to your seat, yet he feels his body tense when you don’t even bother to glance back. You hadn’t spared him a single look since you had gotten to your desk but you could feel his stare burn holes into the back of your head. You didn’t actually know since you hadn’t looked at him since before this weekend but you had a gut feeling.

Still, you were stubborn and refused to turn around and give that jerk the satisfaction of attaining your precious attention.

It wasn’t fair of him to do that when he was the one who had hurt you. He was the one who had promised you his time, yet ended up treating you as if you were disposable — something he’d throw away once he had something better to do. You weren’t his priority.

You had basically spent all weekend curled up in your room sobbing into Mark’s arms. He had picked you up from the movie theater that fateful day and consoled you until the wee hours of night, patiently listening to you rant and bawl your heart out over a stupid, stupid boy. You felt so guilty since he had just come back into town and instead of spending time catching up, he had kept you company as you binge-watched sad movies to wallow in your heartbreak over a certain idiot by the name of Park Jisung.

(“I’m sorry Mark,” you blubbered as you cling onto his figure. He sighed as he rubbed your back soothingly, hoping to calm down your tears. You mumbled into his tear-stained shirt, “I didn’t expect you to come back and for this to happen. I ruined your weekend, didn’t I?”

“Well.. you might’ve,” He said, causing you to immediately sit and look at him with watery eyes and quivering lips. You opened your mouth to cry out even more but he stopped you. “Wait—I was kidding. Sort of but not really.. but it’s okay (Y/N)! I just don’t want you to see you cry anymore.” Through your watery eyes and sniffles, you managed to smack him weakly against his chest. He gave you a tight-lipped smile before softly pulling you into his embrace, tracing circles into your back as you melted into his arms and lulled yourself into a deep, painless slumber.

Mark slowly moved his head to look down at your forlorn figure, a peaceful expression upon your features despite the fresh tears still dripping down your face. He gently wiped the tears from your face with the pad of his thumb, his heartbeat thumping so loudly that he worried it would wake you. He felt like his heart was tearing in half — from how painfully heartbroken you were, and how ironically sad this situation was. “I’ll always be here by your side,” Mark whispers to the air, knowing you had already drifted into dreamland. His heart ached. After all, he knew you would never see him the same way you saw Jisung. And he had to live with that.)

You had spent the next few nights with Mark, ugly crying yourself to sleep in his arms until the tears ran out. Asking the skies how could he could just cut you out of his life just like that? Drop you with the lame excuse that his friends were first. Did he not feel any remorse for what he did?

Stupid jerk. He didn’t deserve any more of my goddamn time or attention. No more shedding any tears. No more self-pity, you thought to yourself. You didn’t need Park Jisung in your life. You didn’t need to waste your breath holding onto what your friendship once was, what your feelings once were. You were sure of it. You had tried to convince yourself so, anyways.

You wanted to burn every trace of Park Jisung from your life, yet Mark had persuaded you not to, quietly murmuring about how you would regret it more than Jisung would soon regret his actions. You found that hard to believe but after all he had done to stay by your side, you relented to his wishes.

The time had dragged on by agonizingly slowly. It felt like Jisung was stuck in time for what felt like a million damn years. His anxiousness increased as the class went on. You were actually here! He wondered why you hadn’t showed up for your earlier classes but he thanked the heavens that at least you were here now. Yet he couldn’t help but feel more on edge.

He swallowed thickly, tapping his pencil annoyingly and fidgeting in his seat. His eyes paid more attention to the ticking of the hands of the clock than the boring teacher droning on and on about today’s lesson.

Finally, the bell rings signaling the end of class. Jisung jumps out of his desk and grabs his backpack in one hand and the bag in another, dashing outside like his life depended on it. You catch a glimpse of his escaping figure, and scowl. Did he really not want to be in the same space as you? Was it that painful for him to have you to be in his life? You felt a lump grow in your throat. A part of you had naively hoped that maybe, just maybe he would confront you and apologize. Not that you’d forgive him, or anything but… You bite your lip. He really dashed out the door just like that. You swallow the tears threatening to spill and trudge out of the room with a grim shadow cast upon your face.

You walk outside and begrudgingly scan the groups of students dispersing, searching for his face despite your internal protests. You couldn’t help it. However, by the time you reach the steps of the school, he’s nowhere to be found.

“You look like your cat just died.” You turn around to see Na Jaemin leaning against the brick wall with his signature sweet smile painted on his face. You pout and remember that he’s still Jisung’s friend. Your pout quickly turns into a scowl, and as if reading your mind — he kindly says, “I’m still your friend (Y/N). Nothing will ever change that.”

Your walls drop and he gently nudged your shoulder, cocking his head towards the doors so you both head out. “I hope Bongshik didn’t actually die, or else Jeno would be devastated,” Jaemin remarks. Your shoulders droop and you shake your head. As you walk with him, he takes a turn into the courtyard and you follow him despite the unfamiliar path.

“I know what happened between both of you,” he breathes airily. You wince at the mention of the fall-out. You hadn’t really wanted other people to know yet you guessed it was inevitable. “I know you probably hate him, but I know it’ll be okay. “

You remain quiet, unable to form a coherent sentence when your mind is constantly buzzing with thoughts of Jisung, bringing back the pain clawing inside your chest. You bite your lip. “How can you be so sure about that?” You mutter bitterly.

As you stare at the fallen cherry blossoms littered all across the pavement, you don’t realize that Jaemin had stopped. You freeze, and look up only to lock your gaze with the deep chocolate orbs of the one person you had been avoiding all day.

His eyes darted around your face searching for any telltale signs of how you felt — yet your face was only void of any emotions besides shock. Your jaw drops as you immediately turn to leave. “Wait, (Y/N), please! I’m sorry, please don’t leave— please! Just hear me out.”

You halt in your footsteps, cursing yourself for being foolish enough to even listen to him. Your heart betrayed your mind. You turned around and glared at Jaemin for even getting you in this situation — yet his eyes simply gazed with intent, almost lulling you towards Jisung again. He raises his eyebrows in anticipation and tilts his head towards the other boy. You sigh in resignation at his silent command and then turn around to fully face Jisung.

“What could you possibly say that would make me want to stay?”

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Jaemin says quietly before walking away. Your eyes widen as you realize that you would have to deal with this alone. You open your mouth to protest.

“Wait, (Y/N), please — I just need to tell you something and then you can decide whether or not I’m worth any more of your time,” Jisung interrupts, pleading with his entire soul.

Your eyes flicker to him.

He had never looked so broken.

“I thought I wasn’t worth any of your time,” You say quietly, remembering his harsh words from the other day.

Jisung’s expression drops yet he knows he can’t stay quiet anymore. “No, that’s not true,” He says firmly. “You’re worth all the time in the world.”

You can feel your heart beating out of your chest now, and wonder if he can hear it despite the mere steps that distance you away from one another.

Jisung’s nose scrunches up, and you want to laugh at his cute habit of wrinkling his nose in distaste whenever he’s disappointed that something doesn’t go his way, even despite the grave situation. He inhaled sharply before continuing. “I’m so so sorry for what I said the other day. It was the most hurtful thing I’ve ever said to anyone and I’m so disappointed in myself for hurting you. I never meant to.” He bites his lip and you stare at him. His hands fidget but remain behind his back.

“I-I like you, (Y/N). A lot. M-Maybe even love you but either way! It doesn’t excuse what I did. I shouldn’t have stood you up, but I was stupid, and foolish and the biggest idiot in the world because I was scared. When you first brought up going to the movies together, I was so happy. This is going to sound so damn cheesy and I hate cheesy, but my heart literally soared. I’m still surprised you didn’t notice how red I was,” He admitted.

You stared at him in shock. Park Jisung liked you. Even loved you. He loved you back.

“I didn’t shut up about it to the boys. But then I kept thinking. What if you didn’t mean it like an actual date and I was taking it the wrong way? I was honestly terrified. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship by making the next move even though everyone told me you felt the same way. I over thought it and then decided that I didn’t want to look like an idiot, so I had to be really chill about it in front of you, so I wouldn’t embarrass myself if you didn’t feel the same way. I didn’t want you to know how excited I was because I thought I would look desperate, or something.”

“I let my insecurities get the best of me and god, when I heard that Mark Lee was coming back, I literally felt like I had no chance. I mean, you’re the most amazing girl I’ve ever known and I mean it (Y/N). Y-You…,” He pauses and takes a breath, forcing himself to make eye contact with you. “You deserve the world and I really want to be the one to make you happy because it makes me so happy every time you laugh because of me tripping over air or you wake me up when I fall asleep during our study dates — I mean hangouts. And when I get to hold your hand and doodle all over your arms—” He rambles on. “I was dumb enough to take your time for granted and not consider your feelings. But I want to do better for you. I regret what I did and I want to turn back time to fix it, but I know I can’t so… I promise I won’t make this same mistake again.” His ears turn red and your heart can’t help but swell at his words, despite your mind’s screaming.

“But I didn’t think I was good enough or anything like Mark, who’s a lot funnier and older and smarter. I thought he would be better for you.” You want to open your mouth to protest but he continues.

“But I don’t want to be scared anymore! I don’t want to live life regretting what I did. You’re the most important person in my life (Y/N), and I know I hurt you a lot because I was scared to let you see all of me and tell you how I really felt, but I want to be better and learn from my mistakes. I don’t ever want to hurt you again and I can’t promise you I won’t, because I’m a big idiot who’s still growing, and I know I make a lot of mistakes... but I want to be your big idiot who will apologize and grow from them. I would do whatever it takes to make you happy as long as we’re happy together.”

You found yourself on a rollercoaster of emotions. You bite your lip, trying to hold back the growing smile and tears threatening to burst.

Taking your hesitation as a rejection, Jisung looks down dejectedly before revealing the bag in his hand. “H-Here,” he struggles to keep his voice from breaking, just like his heart, “I… wanted to buy you your favorite cake from Neo Bakery but it was closed so I tried to bake it myself… I know you don’t want anything to do with me anymore but please just take it. It’s for you.”

Your eyes widen as you also notice his bandaged hand and the way he winces when he grips the straps of the bag tighter. You put two and two together and take the bag. You set it delicately down on the ground before rushing to embrace him.

Jisung stumbles back a little but manages to catch his balance as you wrap your arms around him. “You stupid idiot,” you mumble into his shirt, tears welling up. “Look at how cliche this is. You know how much I hate cheesy cliches.”

Jisung stiffens before he relaxes his body to hug you back even tighter. “I can’t believe you burned yourself baking a cake for me. How dumb are you? And I can’t believe Jaemin let you in the kitchen in the first place.” You say incredulously.

He lets out a laugh at your response and strokes your hair gently. “I know,” he says softly as he closes his eyes and relishes in your warmth. You loosen your grip around his torso and step back to gaze up at him. “I can’t believe you at all. What you did really hurt me and I almost burned all your hoodies” Jisung’s eyes widened in horror at your statement. You snigger slightly. “But I didn’t. Thanks to Mark, by the way.”

“It’s okay to be insecure and have your doubts and I know we all make mistakes but please, don’t shut me out and leave me hanging like that next time. We’re friends and friends don’t do that to each other. I accept your apology — only because I know how hard you must’ve worked to bake the cake with your stupid noodle limbs and incompetent cooking skills.”

“Hey!” Jisung pouts at your words and you reach up to pinch his cheeks as you laugh. He melts at your touch and a gummy smile emerges. “But if you couldn’t tell, I really like you too. Maybe even love you,” You inhale at your own words and avert your eyes. “But if you want to make the next move then we have to work on conquering our fears… Together.” You admit earnestly, a look of determination in your eyes.

Jisung can’t help but grin even harder as his heartbeat skyrockets. Happiness overflows through every part of his body. “Thank God,” He says, pulling you in for another tight embrace. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

You both revel in each other’s arms for a while longer as the breeze gently blows against your figure. You look up at him, with the sunset shining upon his skin. His sparkling eyes gaze intently into yours before he leans down a little and your breath hitches. He pauses for a moment before his lips brush hesitantly against yours, and although you don’t feel fireworks erupt or an intense rush of euphoria, you know that this felt just right. Your noses barely brush against each other’s and your eyes flutter shut, feeling his lashes tickle lightly against your skin. He’s so glad your eyes are closed so you don’t see his cheeks dusted with a rosy pink. You slot your lips against his more, the awkwardness fading away, and tip toe to wrap your arms around his neck as he pulls you in deeper.

  He lets go first but smoothly slips his large hand into yours, fitting almost perfectly. His ears burn with embarrassment and you can feel yourself turn hot and blush fervently. Jisung scratches his neck trying to hide the fact that wow, for a kid who was considered shy — that really just happened.

“You’re not off the hook yet, Park Jisung! You still have a lot of groveling to do. Just because I love you doesn’t mean you’re forgiven, you big baby!” You announce to diffuse the awkwardness.

He smiles bashfully, “It’s okay. As long as I’m your big baby.” He leans down to grab the bag with his other hand and you blush even harder at the confidence brimming from his words. “Shall we go taste test my amazing cake?” He jokes.

You smack him and scoff, “There’s no damn way you were able to make this by yourself! Who helped you?”

He sticks his tongue out. “You’ll never figure it out.” You roll your eyes and laugh as you walk together, fingers still intertwined.

Maybe it was foolish of you to want to believe that Park Jisung wasn’t just simply a passing cloud or fleeting moment in your life. But you had hope. Hope that instead, he was the gentle breeze that tickled your nose and the warm sunshine that kissed your face on the warm summer days where you both had spent chasing each other until your lungs hurt. Or perhaps, his existence was embodied in the petals of the cherry blossom tree in the courtyard that bloomed every spring, carved with initials of young love that you had just ironically and cheesily enough, just experienced your first love underneath. You weren’t sure if Park Jisung’s existence was fleeting in itself or that the idea of forever actually existed, but you knew he himself was just there throughout every step of the way, and as much as the moments passed by and the memories faded, you could feel his love with the passing of every second.

And most importantly, you knew that Park Jisung still had your heart at the end of the day, and even if he dropped it, he would do everything in his power to put together the pieces even if it meant opening up a part of his heart that he had kept hidden away for so long and giving it to you. And at that moment, that was the only forever you needed.

author’s note: i sincerely hope you enjoyed this sequel hehe i worked really hard on this and it’s the longest story i’ve ever written! spoiler alert: there will be an epilogue/spin-off with mark in the making <33 please keep an eye out for that in the future hehe. special thanks to @neocitybynight @j-woosderland @gohyuck and @neostains for reading this beforehand!

taglist: @bumblebeenct @mjlkau @yongiefilms @neo-cultures @sugarsicheng @thenctaddict @soleilhyuck @ainabaina @heyy-sicheng @sunflowerhae

[be-ready-when-i-say-go]

Away for a Moment

Here’s a smattering of feelings. It’s self indulgent af and sad. So yeah. No specific race or gender of reader. 

Calum didn’t think missing you would hurt this much. 

Find Part 2 Here

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You weren't gone gone. Calum could pick up the phone, tap on your last message to him and pull up your number. He could call. He could lay in bed with the phone pressed up to his ear and wait for your voice to float in through the other line. It would be easy, so damn easy. 

But he knows if he did you wouldn't be able to answer right away. It's barely evening. The sun has just started to caress the horizon through his windows. But you hadn't sent another message to let him know that you had gotten back to your apartment from training. Calum figures that maybe you spent a few extra hours out to get some work done and doesn't want to disturb you.

It's just not the same anymore without you. His bed isn't full like it used to be without you. His kitchen isn't full of music and dancing, and cooing at Duke like it used to be without you. And it's entirely selfish Calum knows the way his fingers ache to craddle your face and the way he wants to tell you to stay with him.

Staying with him would make him miss you less. Staying with him would ensure that the house never feels empty. But having you stay doesn't ensure your dreams. Staying with him means a very real possibility that all the opportunities that you had worked so hard to find would pass you by. Calum can't ask you to stay, but he wishes he had spent more time memorizing the way your shampoo smells fresh from a wash. He wishes he had recorded more of your breakfast concerts.

Still working hard or hardly working? Calum hits send on the text, sitting up on the bed. Everything in him wants you to come bursting back through that door. Everything in him wants to kiss your lips one more time and savor the taste of your fruity gum--a habit you picked up to replace the nervous nail biting.

Everything in him wants his goddamn phone to buzz. But it doesn't.

Calum pads into the music room and office. Duke's still on the couch and Calum's not sure when the old man wondered into the room or why Duke hadn't traveled away from the couch just yet. As he gets closer to the couch, Calum sees what Duke's curled up on--your sweatshirt from your alma mater. The one you couldn't find as you were unpacking boxes and sorting out your closet.

Calum reassured you that you had packed up most of your clothes and that it would turn up eventually. Attempting to move anywhere in a weekend always seemed better in theory, but when training got moved up--you had to get into high gear. Packed to the hilt in his SUV, Calum and you set out for a cross state trip. It was only a few states over. Only put you an hour ahead of him. He could pick you up or you could take the train or a plane for cheap back to LA.

He had already planned to visit you. He said it jokingly to you, but he had cleared his schedule for early October to come visit just for a weekend. He planned that for most of it, you'd be holed up studying or grading papers, but at least for a few hours in the small blimp in time the two of you could sight see and just get fucking lost for once without worry.

Calum snaps a picture of his old man curled up on your old sweatshirt and sends it. I found where that sweatshirt went. I think I'm going to have a hard time convincing him to let me ship it you.

Calum settles onto the rolling chair, staring at Duke and out the window beyond. How could he miss you so fast? It was only a week. Just a week ago he was rearranging sofas and building bookshelves and unfolding your clothes while you put them all on hangers. Just a week ago you were navigating him to the Wal-Mart, Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, Best Buy, Burger King, Chipotle, and Chilis laughing as you confused your right and left for the millionth time.

Just a week ago when you tapped on the wrong Wal-Mart because it was the first one that Maps showed you. Just a week ago the two of you were laughing, curled up under your new bedsheets. "You're gonna leave me for two years, and I can't believe it," he whispered. You had fallen asleep, the fan in the corner of your bedroom blowing a constant stream of cooler air onto the both of you.

And how could Calum say that he couldn’t believe you were leaving him when he left you all the fucking time? How much of a fucking hypocrite could he be to say that? 

He tried to reason with himself. Even though Calum left, he always knew he’d be coming back to you. He knew you’d always be there. And now, his home is across state lines. His house doesn’t feel like his house anymore because he had built a home in you and now you’re not here anymore. This physical building doesn’t really mean jack shit to him anymore with you. And sure it was only two years; it was only two years in total that you’d be away from him. And sure the degree was practically paid for, and sure, Calum couldn’t keep you from chasing your dreams. 

But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t miss you while you were out there soaring. 

Was this how his mum felt when he left at sixteen? Did she have a strange bubbling mixture of sadness and pride? Because that’s surely what’s brewing in the pit of Calum’s stomach. That mixture is what makes his fingertips ache. 

There’s still no new message from you. Calum drops his phone to the desk with a clatter, burying his face into the palms of his hands. “God, I should’ve moved with them,” he mutters into the open air. 

The two of you had this conversation a thousand times over. You didn’t want him to move because what would the other guys to music wise while Calum was with you? And what about Duke? And would Calum sell his house or keep it while renting something else for those two years? Your life was a little easier to uproot, since you knew you’d be coming back. This is just a step into the world that you wanted and you didn’t know where it was going to take you from there, but Calum couldn’t be his life on pause.

It’s like bile in his throat. The way the tears are stinging his eyes and his throat starts to burn. The tears are silent. Just the upturn of his lips and the sting of hot and salty water down his cheeks. The amount of things that can change a week are unbelievable and Calum’s not sure how he’s going to make it another eleven months and three weeks. 

His shoulders shake. The heels of his palms don’t do a damn thing to hold back the tears. You’re not gone. He can pick up his phone, tap onto the last message he sent you and pull up your number. He can call. He can sit in this office chair with the phone pressed to his ear and wait for your voice to float in through the other line. 

Calum’s phone finally shakes, it buzzes for a long interval, stops, and then starts again. He’s quick to wipe his hands onto his sweatpants and flip over the device. He taps to answer the call and his phone chimes, the video of you bouncing down a sidewalk fills the screen. “Hey, Cal. Sorry, I hung back to chat with some other student teachers. I think I could shit a brick right now. But I hear a certain old man’s hogging my favorite sweatshirt.”

Calum sniffles, wiping underneath his nose with the back of his hand. “Yeah, that would be Baby Grandpa snuggling up with it.” He’s relieved to see you, to hear the chirp in your voice when previously you cried into your dinner just a week before moving because of the nerves and anxiety. 

Calum’s praying his voice isn’t too croaky, that it doesn’t give him away. But he knows it well. And when your pinched brows and concerned flooded eyes land onto the screen, Calum knows you know. 

“Babe, you alright? Looks like you’ve been crying?”

“I’m-yeah, no, I’m okay. I’m happy to see you.” If he can change the subject he doesn’t have to explain why he keeps sniffling. He doesn’t have to explain why his eyes are no doubt red. 

“Angel, please don’t do that. Tell me what’s wrong.” The white cord of your headphones bounce and he can hears your harsh exhales. And it only reminds him that you’re not here. 

“I miss you.” It’s just one sentence; it’s only three words. But it makes his chest feel like it’s been punched in. It feels like someone’s pulling his spine out through his diaphragm. 

You pause, taking in his red eyes and the wobble of his chin. And you know. You know he didn’t want to admit it, but there was no way to hold it in anymore. “I’m sorry, Calum. I miss you too. I miss Duke. I miss you grumbling that I’m too happy at seven in the morning.”

Calum exhales a little, a small bit of laughter following after it. “Breakfast sucks with you. And I know this is what you have to do for yourself. I can’t stress how proud I am of you for doing this. But fuck, I didn’t realize it’d be this hard.”

People pass you by. Calum can hear them, the muffled parts of their conversation coming through your mic. You are so far away and it’s killing him. Two years. Two years of the two of you building up a relationship in tiny corners and through handwritten letters and stolen kisses and in text messages. Two years and you had cracked the defenses Calum had and he didn’t want to let you go. 

“I’m coming back, my love. There’s weekend trips and school breaks.” 

You get it though. There was a year where Calum was just gone. He was bouncing between time zones and when he did come back home he was prepping for the next leg of a tour, the next leg of promotion, the next part of something. And it’s so hard to create a new routine initially. It’s hard to regulate who you are on your own. 

“I feel like a hypocrite. Because I left. I don’t know. I feel untethered.”

You nod. “I understand that. It’s an adjustment, a huge one. It’s okay to feel a little unraveled.”

“And I don’t want to add onto your stress. I know it’s not easy.” 

“I’m here for you. You know that. Who’s answered your calls at 2 am before?” Calum doesn’t respond. Can’t as another wave of emotion rocks his core and he rolls his lips over his teeth to swallow back down the emotion. “And who do you think is going to be there to answer your call again at 2 in the morning? Or 3? Or 6 in the morning? At noon? At 6:37 in the evening? It’s gonna be me no matter what.”

Calum reclines his head into the cushion of the seat. It’s always been you. You’ve always been there when he needed it. And even if you are miles away, you still responded. You still called back. 

“Thanks,” Calum says. His chin still wobbles. He blinks back the rest of the tears. “So tell me about it. What did you do today? We can talk after you have some food.”

The world continues on about you. More people pass you by and you watch Calum. His eyes are still painted red. But his voice doesn’t break like before. It’s a bit of a breeze so you settle onto the bench for the bus even though you can hear it coming down the street. A strong breeze creates static in your mic for a moment before your voice comes in clearer. 

“We went over one of the assignments in depth that we have to teach. Met some other student teachers. I talked to my faculty mentor about my course schedule and work schedule and they said that I probably should let myself go easy this first semester.”

“So you did drop a class?”

You nod at Calum’s question. The bus rolls to a stop in front of you, but you don’t look up from your phone. “I did. I was scared to because I really wanted to take that class. But I heard it’s also offered in the spring, so I enrolled for it then.”

“Is it with a different professor? Or the same one?”

“Different one.”

The conversation flows until your bus comes back around again and you know you have to take it this time. But you keep Calum on the line. And he’s just watching, with his elbows on the desk and his head supported by his palms, he watches you. And it’s nothing glamorous as the bus rattles and shakes. Your phone lays in your lap, cradled in your hands. Occasionally, you glance down to cross your eyes and stick out your tongue at him and he hums his laughter. 

It’s the little things. Like watching the way your head reclines into the window or how you just know when to pull for your stop. And as you walk down blocks and stop to wave at a dog as the owner jogs past. And Calum knows he’s not there with you. He knows that you’re not walking up to his door, but maybe all he needs are the little things with you. 

“What’s for dinner?” he asks as you step into your apartment. 

“Literally it might be hotdogs because I’m mentally exhausted.”

“You need a veggie too.”

You laugh, keys hitting the counter. “I won’t forget a veggie. I’ll call you back in a bit, yeah? After I eat and get some homework done.”

“Okay. Can that be a daily thing? Just so I know you get back home safely.” It’s soft as he asks, unsure if it makes hims sound overbearing or not. 

“Sure. Once I get my schedule set, I’ll let you know and we can do that. Make sure to send me more pics of Duke though, since know he owns my sweatshirt now.”

Calum stares down at the black screen. You’ve long hung up, no doubts scarfing down the hotdogs you mentioned. And while the ache has subsided, Calum still feels you in every inch of him. He feels the yearning. The sun’s slipped behind the horizon, the last feathers of light won’t last long. And before Calum’s thinking his fingers are slipping over the frets. He bent over the bass, thinking maybe, just maybe the notes will make sense of the feelings in his gut. 

Your phone chimes, pushing rubrics and sticky notes to the side, you pick it up. A notification from instagram, from Calum. The video’s completely dark and it’s just him bent over the instrument as its throaty cries swell. Post you blues, it reads. The caption is tiny, almost missable if you’re not careful. But you see it. If you had any other choice, you wouldn’t have left. If it wasn’t your dream, you wouldn’t have left. 

I love you. Even across miles and interstates and timezones, I love you. 

Calum wants to tattoo the text message to his eyelids, so when he goes to sleep at night or when he closes his eyes to keep form crying, he can see that you’re not gone, just away from a moment. 

______

@5-secondsofcolor bc my Sunshine asked me to tag her so she could read it after shleeps. 

[silver-wield]

Do you have the language of flowers body language discovery event analysis? Would like to know your thoughts on it.

Okay, language of flowers discovery, which is something else that's all about Zack.

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven’t played – do I still need to do this? Eh ok, (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it’s gonna be long.

Also, this is one person’s interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that’s cool and we’ll agree to disagree.

You’re also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I’m grabbing them from Youtube and it’s frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Please check my master post to see if I've already covered your question, thanx

Let's mosey!

Recap time!

After completing all the quests in sector 5, which Cloud was not a happy bunny about, he and Aerith head back to her house because her mom made dinner. Before that, though, Aerith heads over to one of the flower beds and calls for Cloud to join her.

Just gonna add that this is completely avoidable if you ignore Aerith and go into the house, same as alone at last is avoidable if you go back to the bar. Because I did this. I checked it out. After some dumdum tried to say you can't skip it. Because you can.

Also, you have Marle in alone at last who stops Cloud for a chat, but here, it's just Cloud and Aerith with no one else for a pre-chat chat.

Yeah, that's Cloud's face the second we see him. I mean, the boi doesn't look impressed. He's like “da fuq?”

And when Cloud asks if Aerith's talking to the flowers, not that he even gets to finish that question, she shushes him. What's really interesting about that moment, is that although Aerith initially gives Cloud a bright smile like she's playing, before she's even brought her finger away from her lips she's giving him a less than pleased expression. Then there's the fact she shushed him at all. For people who say this is romantic, shushing somebody when they're trying to talk to you is rude.

And it's here that the black, white and red butterfly first appears and begins hovering near to Aerith. It stays around for the entire scene. The symbolism of this type of butterfly is drawn from several sources, but the overall implication is that it's a departed soul of a loved one. Since Aerith is obviously talking to Zack and not the actual flowers during this scene, the butterfly symbolises his presence beside her.

Aerith speaks the line about the day she had in a resigned tone, indicating she wasn't having as much fun as she made it seem. Aerith is someone who hides her feelings behind a bright smile – which is often misinterpreted by her fans as something it's not. She likely endured much of Cloud's bad mood just as much as he endured her. The meta knowledge she has says they're friends and she misses her friends because she gives each and every one of them a bright smile when they meet again, but she's also aware that she could hurt Tifa because of Cloud, so she's already making an attempt to keep him at a distance, while also trying to become friends with him again.

This is so obviously her thinking about Zack I shouldn't even have to bring it up. She looks like she's having a conversation with him, tilting her head, smiling and looking more happy than the entire time she's spent with Cloud. We get zero shots of Cloud during this. Instead, we get a shot of the flowers. Surely, if she's trying to engage with Cloud we'd see him? It's like he's been cut from the scene. There's no sounds from him to say he's part of the conversation and there's no reaction from him to show he's even still there. Aerith's focus is totally on that flower bed and Cloud could've left and I doubt she'd notice.

And if the fact she's ignoring Cloud isn't evidence enough, she's blushing here. After tilting her head to listen to something the flowers said and one touched another. So, a language of flowers kiss from Zack to Aerith and she sighs and blushes.

Zack's a bigger dork than Cloud.

And that butterfly is still hovering around Aerith, because one of the meanings of that kind of butterfly is that it shows up to chase away any potential rivals. Cloud isn't even a rival, but it's gonna make sure he doesn't get a chance to become one lol

We can't see Aerith's face exactly here, but her mouth is a straight line and she's looking at the ground with a vacant stare. Seems like she's lost in thought.

We still don't get to see Cloud's face during this. He's basically a totem that the audience is using to sit on so they can watch Aerith. It could literally be anybody standing there and we'd get the same result of that character being detached from what's happening because we don't get to see their reaction.

And then we get a mid range shot of the two of them standing pretty far apart with the butterfly flitting about between them. In the background we can see the house with its triangle windows, which are dark for now indicating the LTD aspect isn't lit up, which means we've not reached any LTD references yet. Which is interesting because in the OG we've had several before we reach Aerith's house.

That line is such a Zack thing to say there's no way she wasn't talking to him and imagining what he'd say to her. He died five days ago and she knows that, so it's actually heartbreaking that she'd choose something he'd say as a reply here. It shows how close they were that she'd know his speech patterns and phrases he'd use. It shows how much she loves him that even when she's hurting from his death she'd choose something he'd say just to try and bring herself closer to him.

And that butterfly is still between her and Cloud.

Cloud offers polite interest because he's been learning lessons and applying them. It's called character development and isn't that special seeing how he already asked Biggs about Jessie and then offered Wedge encouragement when he felt down all the way back in chapter 4. He didn't say anything with the level of importance of “if you wanna talk, I'm listening,” because he doesn't know Aerith, but he's trying to join in the conversation and not be such a closed off asshole to people.

Aerith they didn’t say anything, but she looks depressed as she says that because she wishes she could hear Zack’s voice. It’s in her downed dialogue that she hears his voice calling to her. 

Then we get Aerith looking at us. Because Aerith does that. A lot. Of all the cast who do a 4th wall break and look at the audience, Aerith does it the most and usually it results in her trolling the players. Which is hilarious and I support it!

Aerith shrugs and, still looking at the camera—us—says it's not like we'd believe her. This is so damn funny! She's basically saying even if she outright said to everyone that she loves Zack, she isn't interested in Cloud and actually likes Tifa and doesn't wanna be part of their toxic nightmare LTD that those people still wouldn't listen to her. And the look on her face when she says it is like “We've all tried for 23 years and you still won't listen.”

And Cloud barely gives her enough eye contact to suggest they're talking to each other and then dismisses her. Which feels like it relates to the meta message Aerith just gave about fans not listening to them.

Then he stops. Has another thought about not being an asshole. This is all soldier Cloud btw, I checked and there's none of those real Cloud hints we get around Tifa and and post resolutions.

Aerith seems surprised at this change in him, since she's not done anything to warrant it, but obviously she doesn't know about stuff he's done with Avalanche and anything outside of her general knowledge. She wouldn't know about Marle or the Jessie job or him flirting with Tifa or any of that. She only knows about him from what OG Aerith knows and she'd only know about Cloud from the moment they met.

And again, Aerith's looking at the flowers. Obviously this message is plot related and hints at Aerith's upcoming fate. She says it won't be much longer now, meaning she doesn't have much time left to live. The flowers having an important message to give her is one of those mysteries that we're not gonna get an answer to yet because it's something that's related more to how the flower metaphors unfold and isn’t part of any romantic context.

And when we cut back to where we can see Cloud we see he's not even looking at Aerith. Polite interest, like I said. He's not actually interested. But the butterfly is still flitting around Aerith, so it cares at least.

Then we get a shot of Aerith's right hand, which is a symbol of strength, protection and resolve. Aerith knows what her duty is and she's determined to see it through, even though she's likely very scared about what she has to do.

Cloud looks meh about this. There's literally no reaction happening here and the only reason I'm including it is to show that Cloud has no reaction to what Aerith just said.

But when Aerith speaks of giving up and it's what she does best he gets another big mood face on. If what she did that day was giving up then he probably doesn't want to know what she's like when she's trying lol

He even says he doesn't believe that about her. “Could've fooled me.” People really don't listen to Cloud, do they? He's not meta, doesn't do double speak. He says what's on his mind. He doesn't say everything on his mind at every moment, but when he shares, he's straight with it. If he thinks Aerith isn't like how she thinks she is then that's how he thinks.

Aerith says today is special, Cloud looks away as he asks why and then we get another bit of Aerith trolling the camera. She gives it a long look, laughs and keeps her gaze on it and gives it this knowing little look like she knew people would get all excited by her doing that and that's why she laughs. It's got nothing to do with Cloud. Although we know Cloud doesn't like it when people laugh at him, so she probably accomplished a couple of goals there by alienating him a bit more.

Which, yeah, she did, because his face is not amused. Cloud doesn't like gossip or being made fun of.

Cloud says to the flowers to learn to talk to her, but the flowers are a representation of Zack during this scene, so he's saying to Zack to learn to talk to her, and then we get the butterfly in the frame again, front and centre this time confirming the symbolism.

I might've suggested Cloud's words were about himself with Tifa, but he's very much soldier Cloud during this, so I don't think he'd say anything out loud about her unless real Cloud prompted him to, and since he's absent from this scene I can't see it being anything other than soldier Cloud drawing on real Cloud's dork personality trait and trying to sound cool with it.

Aerith asking if the flowers said anything and Cloud repeats the Zack line. Her answer of “that's the spirit!” has a double meaning. It could mean that's the attitude you need to have towards it. Or, it could mean, that's Zack's spirit.

In conclusion

This is pretty much Aerith and Zack with Cloud as a bystander/third wheel. There's some great meta moments from Aerith where she trolls the players and calls out their bs about LTD stuff and anything else to do with her or the other characters having their own opinions.

On the surface of it, the only reason I can see for people to even think it's something it's not is the fact that Aerith is smiling and perky. Like, someone isn't allowed to be like that unless it's romantically motivated. But, Aerith is like that. She's the girl who hides her pain behind a smile.

Cloud isn't really present for much of this scene when you really notice it. We get his back more than his face and when we do see his face he's not looking at Aerith or he's looking bland af. The most animated expression he makes is right at the start with the one eyebrow lift. After that, his face is in lockdown lol

[rosethornewrites]

Fic: The Rebellion of Adrien Agreste, ch. 4

Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Luka Couffaine, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Kagami Tsurugi, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Luka Couffaine, Lila Rossi/karma, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/aneurism, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Kagami Tsurugi, Plagg & Tikki

Characters: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Lila Rossi, Jagged Stone, Plagg, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Luka Couffaine, Penny Rolling, Anarka Couffaine, Rose Lavillant, Juleka Couffaine, Kagami Tsurugi, Alya Césaire, Chloé Bourgeois, Wayhem, Nadja Chamack, Nathalie Sancoeur, Sabine Cheng, Tom Dupain, Tikki, Fang, Principal Damocles, Caline Bustier, Ms. Mendeleiev, original minor character, Alec Cataldi, Lila Rossi's Mother, Sabrina Raincomprix, Roger Raincomprix, Mylène Haprèle, Le Gorille | Adrien Agreste's Bodyguard, Nino Lahiffe, Nooroo

Tags: Lila Rossi salt, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Teenage Rebellion, Swearing, Bad Parent Gabriel Agreste, Crack Treated Seriously, Lila Rossi's Lies Are Exposed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Luka Couffaine Needs a Hug, Paparazzi, Parentification, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Needs a Hug, Gabriel Agreste Needs an Aneurism, Uncle Jagged Stone, we're all queer here, the spirit of punk is sometimes just being allowed to be yourself, Kagami Finds Her Groove, punk rock fashion, Savage Kagami, Marinette protection squad, Good Parent Sabine Cheng, Good Parent Tom Dupain, Protective Kagami Tsurugi, Protective Luka Couffaine, Bisexual Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Pansexual Luka Couffaine, Sharing a Bed, Pet Names, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Instagram, Bullying, Social Media, Anxiety, Makeover, Hugs, will cure your acne, Face Punching, Bad Ass Juleka Couffaine, Rumors, Protective Juleka Couffaine, Protective Adrien Agreste, Lawyers, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Holding Hands, accountability, mental health, Jagged Stone's well-paid pet shark, How to Make the Evening News, Sexy eyeliner for days, one fish two fish Lila is a screwed fish, How to have fun and piss Gabriel off, Fuckery, sweet litigious karma, Alya sugar, lawyer shark doo doo doo doo doo doo, Schadenfreude, Bad Ass Alya Césaire, Gaslighting, abuse denormalization, Jagged likes his lawyers like he likes his pets: toothy af, Blood in the Water, Everything you didn’t know you wanted and some things you did, Gabriel Agreste is shark bait, Denial, Consequences, Principal Damocles salt, caline bustier salt, the impotence of Gabriel Agreste, snarky Nooroo, lies and the lying liars who tell them, Lila's brain is a narcissistic hellscape, Lila’s mind is built like an Escher piece, Alec Cataldi salt, Adrien Sugar, wholesome salt, Fu Salt, Kwami Shenanigans, Nooroo is a little shit

Summary:  Cuddle Piles are Like Blanket Forts, Right?

Note: These kids are dorky af. Also, thank you for helping me reach over 1K comments on this fic on AO3!

AO3 link

Chapters 1-2 | Chapter 3

------------

An hour later, Marinette made a trip home for her design sketchbook and supplies, and returned also with a box of pastries and a leftover black Kitty Section shirt with the blue Luka design in Adrien’s size.

“I figured this could be the basis of your outfit,” she said. “After all, you’re dating him.”

Adrien liked the idea, and Luka smiled as he held the shirt up against his chest to demonstrate the look.

“I never did get to make a design for you, Adrien. But maybe that and an outfit for the next concert if you’re able to play,” she continued. “Oh, and I was thinking—we need to call Kagami.”

“Kagami?”

Marinette nodded. “She got Akumatized when Lila sent that photo of her kissing you and implying you were dating. It’s best if we let her know. She’s your friend, and she’s trustworthy.”

He nodded. “Uh, I don’t know how closely my father monitors my phone, though…”

Luka silently unlocked his phone and handed it to him.

“I’ll text her to let her know to expect a call from an unknown number,” Marinette volunteered, pulling out her own phone. “And see if she wants to come over here. She might have more ideas.”

Pretty quickly, they had another person on board and actively planning with them. Kagami seemed to understand the gravity of the situation immediately.

“That girl is bad news,” she said when she arrived. “Your father’s actions make little sense.”

Marinette snorted at that. “They never have. I like his designing, but he’s basically awful otherwise.”

Adrien didn’t bother defending him. Really, it’d been bad for a while except for the bright spot of being allowed to go to school. Everything else had been difficult.

Kagami actually quirked a smile. “With the exception of his day wear, certainly.”

Marinette goggled, then started giggling helplessly. It didn’t take long for the rest of them to follow.

“Oh, man, Kagami. You’re right; he dresses terribly,” Marinette gasped when she could breathe again.

“So since I’m disobeying, maybe I can tell him that?” Adrien wondered. “I mean, I already called him ‘Gabe’…”

The others stared at him, and he shifted uncomfortably.

“Really?” Kagami asked softly. “For you to be that upset, you clearly feel safer angering him than being in a fake relationship with that girl.”

Adrien hadn’t thought of it in exactly those terms, but she was right.

“Her heart song is… disturbing,” Luka commented. “I’ve heard ones like it, but it’s rare.”

“What does it sound like?” Marinette asked, glancing up from her sketching.

Luka was silent for a moment, as though searching for the words to express it. “Empty. It’s like there’s an echo, and it sounds ominous. I’d compare it to foreboding music from a TV show or film, all off-beat, the kind of music that raises goosebumps in the bad way.”

“Like Jaws?” Adrien asked.

“Worse,” Luka murmured, shaking his head. “I’d offer to play it, but I’d rather not foist it on anyone else.”

They were quiet, taking that in for a minute, until Marinette cleared her throat.

“Okay, so we’re doing this. Adrien, change into the shirt so I can see what it looks like and plan accessories for Penny to get. I’m thinking torn black jeans, for starters, but I need to conceptualize.”

He grabbed the shirt to change in the bathroom; when he got back, he wasn’t expecting what she said next.

“And if you’ve been getting closer to Luka and decided to go out recently, you guys need to seem comfortable with each other.” Her cheeks were flushed. “Um. So. You need to get used to cuddling.”

Adrien blinked, glancing at Luka, who seemed to take this in stride, lifting one arm welcomingly. He moved closer, startled regardless when Luka’s arm dropped on his shoulders. The blond didn’t often have contact like this except with maybe Nino. And Ladybug, but he couldn’t admit that to anyone. And when it was people he was close to, he liked contact like this; but it was weird when it was… fake. He and Luka were friends, but they’d never…

“Is this okay?” Luka asked. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I, um… I’m not… used to this, I guess. Like, my dad never hugs me or anything. I get hugs from friends, and…” He shrugged slightly.

No one spoke for a minute, and he internally panicked. He wasn’t supposed to speak up and be needy. When he spoke again it was soft. “I wish I got them more.”

He completely missed the way the others exchanged a glance, trying to avoid their glances.

The next thing he knew, he was halfway in Luka’s lap, his head in Marinette’s, Kagami close to her side, all of them in contact with him. It was wonderful—after the initial shock wore off, anyway—their affection and the physical warmth was just absolutely what he wanted. There were hands in his hair, Luka’s arm across his waist.

Luka was smiling. “I kind of like snuggling, anyway. Though you might have to compete with my guitar.”

Marinette was blushing a bit. “There’s nothing wrong with platonic affection, Adrien.”

“Although it is not the norm in Japanese culture, living in France has accustomed me to it,” Kagami added. “Although often between genders it is assumed to be less than platonic.”

“So probably it should mostly be you and Luka in public, unless you want to come out as bi and so not into Lila at all,” Marinette chirped.

“Careful,” Adrien joked. “I might get too used to this.”

“You’ll have to, if we’re going to pull this off convincingly,” Luka told him with a laugh.

Marinette, sadly, remembered she had a job she was doing and sighed, grabbing her sketchbook and removing her hands from his hair.

“Okay, so clothing-wise, I was thinking black jeans, maybe skinny jeans, and a leather bomber jacket. And, um, for more of a punk look, they have these awesome men’s combat boots with buckles that go like halfway up the calf. Then a few bracelets, like what Luka has. But black and green?”

“I think the green in his hair should match his eyes,” Luka commented. “Neon would seem off. So probably the same with the bracelets. They have really nice green beaded ones that would do the trick.”

Adrien glanced at Luka’s face and hair. “Like how yours is kind of similar to your eyes?”

That earned a soft look from the guitarist. “Yeah, exactly like that.”

Kagami coughed delicately. “And that is how you should look at each other.”

He knew from the way his face heated that his blush mirrored Luka’s.

Marinette snorted. “Come on, Kagami. Let’s get Penny and go shopping, and leave these two to figure out their cuddling.”

She twisted out from under Adrien, letting him fall back on the couch awkwardly, his legs flailing a bit as he tried to find balance.

“Hey,” Luka protested in faux outrage, “no manhandling my boyfriend.”

“My hero.”

Marinette and Kagami laughed all the way out of the room.

[vierafication]

Last night around 4 am, I reblogged a certain post about "villainous rp" and added my own two cents to what had been discussed within it- mostly just venting about behavior I'd seen in the past. I didn't think much of it until I saw the next day it had been reblogged, and reblogged again, and again, by some folks who seemed pretty unhappy about what I'd said. I was told I needed to get a life, that I clearly can't separate IC and OOC, that maybe I shouldn't be writing at all. That hurt. I was irritated, then, feeling like I'd had words shoved in my mouth, like I was being purposefully misinterpreted. I typed up a clarification post explaining my previous points and pressed send, but it was seemingly ignored.

I talked with @damankjol about it later. He's the best, if you didn't know. And he rp's villains! I don't think he's a sociopath! He's very empathic and honest and understanding and cool, and he helped me realize that people weren't just angry at me, they were genuinely hurt by what I'd written. I went back and reread what I posted, as well as the responses, with a more critical eye. And... yeah. What I typed up wasn't clean, organized, or coordinated. I was venting and the tone that came off was irritated and rude. While not my intention, what I wrote sounded pretty fucking disrespectful and downright mean. And, frankly, my intentions don't matter, anyway, since I wasn't able to convey them properly. I just put some angry bullshit up on tumblr way too late at night, and I didn't expect anybody to even look at it, let alone reblog it- but I should have. Tumblr is a public platform and I should have approached my post the same way I'd approach any other one during the normal hours of the day. Thinking critically is always key, but audience is too- a vent post is a vent post, but I should have thought before I vented about a topic other people were sensitive to, and properly indicate specifics instead of vague generalizations. So, yes, I really wanted to apologize to anyone who that post hurt. I’m genuinely sorry. I should not have generalized like that. It wasn't even my intention in the first place. I was disrespectful and now that I think about it, incredibly hypocritical to boot. So yeah. I really am sorry. I respect @damankjol and @miqojak a lot as writers, and it would never be my intention to tear them down. Or anybody else, for that matter- rp only works when you rp with others, after all.

Once again, I'm sorry, and I hope you won't hate me for eternity or anything. Storytime and critical analysis under the cut.

One of my first, and worst, experiences in the ffxiv rp community was a good couple years ago. I was describing my character to a “friend,” and that character happened to be Lionnet Blodoint, my Ishgardian chirurgeon. Lionnet was not a good person by a long shot, to begin with, and from his time serving during the Dragonsong War, he’d developed quite a bit of PTSD relating to any and all things draconic. He hated dragons. He didn’t even like Au Ra. “Wow,” said the so-called friend at the time. “Your character is a nazi.”

“What? No!” I exclaimed. I tried to explain that he was NOT a nazi, he was just a traditionalist Ishgardian who hated dragons because they had been, at one point in time, absolutely hell-bent on destroying his home and everything he knew. I thought it was a pretty reasonable character trait to hate, or at least fear, dragons after serving in the Dragonsong War. The core of how I’d planned to develop him would be overcoming or at least coming to terms with his trauma, and no longer seeing it in every dragon or Au Ra he met. “No,” they said. “Your character is terribly written. They’re awful and nobody would ever want to rp with them. They’re boring because they’re so full of negative traits. They’re racist and thus, a nazi. And you are just as bad, because you’re defending them! You’re a nazi too!”

So yeah, they are NOT my friend anymore. But that whole convo really stuck with me, and I was afraid to bring out Lio afterwards- it took me another year before I actually began to use him in rp. And he turned out wonderful! His story became one of my favorite rp character stories of all time, and he had great relationship development and a happy ending. He’s still around, canonically, but I have a different main toon now.

So it shocks me that what that person told me about Lio is more or less the same as what I wrote in that post. I’m honestly dumbfounded at how I could just casually type that up and post it, when it draws so many parallels to the way I was bullied back then. So yeah. Huge hypocrisy right there. I swore to never act like that. And to an extent, I suppose I have. But that post I made was pretty fucking close- just directed at a vaguely generalized audience instead of a singular person and character. Maybe that’s actually worse. And I am sorry. I guess because it wasn’t directed at anyone but the void (even the op’s url doesn’t exist anymore), I just didn’t think about it. Which sounds like a lame-ass excuse, but... it’s true. I just wasn’t thinking. I was just venting. It’s really fucking with me that I could’ve hurt somebody so much completely unintentionally, to be honest.

So, what did I say- or, to be more clear, what was I attempting to say? What was my intention, and what wasn’t? I’m going to go over that now, more for my benefit than anyone else’s. Please note that I am not trying to make excuses or shove any blame elsewhere. I am just trying to clarify what I meant and address the issues that made my post so negative, for my own sake.

To begin, I’m gonna link this post by @lilac-memorials. It goes into detail about the trouble with “villain” discourse, and addresses a number of issues from a much more unbiased standpoint, far more eloquently than I could. Also, it seems to reference (the worse) parts of my posts at some points, or maybe I’m just paranoid. Regardless, it’s a much better post than the trainwreck that was the original one, and I agree with every bit of it. It also addresses the difference between a “villain” and an “antagonist,” which is something I attempted to go into but failed miserably.

Anyhoo. My post began with this paragraph:

Seriously. I do not trust anyone who refers to themselves as a “villain” rper. A character can take an antagonistic role in another character’s story arc, that’s fine, that works. It goes back to the “everyone is the hero of their own story” sorta thing. But playing a villain, only as a villain… what’s the point in that? It’s just someone roleplaying as an evil asshole that expects to be treated as stronger than other characters, expects to be feared. It reads like some twisted power fantasy. It doesn’t sound fun and it sure isn’t fun for the people rping with you. Like dude, calm down.

To begin with, yes, I am indeed a little distrustful of people who label their characters first and foremost as villains, before anything else. I am more suspicious of engaging in rp with them than I am with other types of characters, because I have seen some pretty crappy villains out and about and I just don’t wanna deal with that. Next, I go on to try to draw the line between a villain and an antagonist, and how I am much less suspicious of “antagonistic” characters than straight-up “villain” characters. “But playing a villain, only as a villain... what’s the point in that?” I ask. Very rudely. Insinuating that their is no point whatsoever in playing a villain. Which I didn’t intend to. But honestly, I don’t know how else that would’ve translated- I don’t know what I was thinking. I go on to describe this “villain” as somebody who is an evil asshole with a power fantasy, and how it ruins fun for anybody. Which can be read very easily as saying “all villains are like this.” No, they are not! I was describing the bad type of villain rper. The rper who “plays a villain, only as a villain,” and not as a character. Do you get what I mean now? The controlling, toxic, power-hungry rper that plays a villain as an outlet to be further controlling, toxic, and power-hungry, moreso than they ever could in reality. We all know that type of person exists. We’ve met them, somewhere. Sometimes they aren’t playing the villain at all, anyway. They’re playing the hero, or somebody else entirely. But here, I am just venting about that type of person. They are what my post is about. The key line should’ve been “playing a villain, only as a villain,” but it was shoved into a passive-aggressive question addressing self-worth instead of a proper sentence describing the difference between a well-written villain and a badly-written villain. And thus the post begins as if it had been rudely addressed to all villain rpers everywhere, labeling them as the evil asshole with a power fantasy, instead.

Next is: Anyway hot take but maybe the reason people kept trying to “redeem” and “change” OP’s character is because their character is boring af!

Yeahhhh, that one’s just mean. And, given the first paragraph, easily able to seen as an attack saying that if you are a villain rper, your character is boring af. They’re not! The op’s post is a little much, to be honest, and I guess I thought I was feeling spicy at 4 am. Now I think I must’ve just been being mean. Aurelia explains what’s wrong with the initial post here, though, instead of trying and failing to poke fun at it in that special pseudo-mean tumblr way like I did.

Lastly, Like, honestly! Play a character as a foil to another, play to fucked up ideas about morality, play an antagonist arc to a protagonist character, play a character who makes bad decisions. But don’t play a “villain.” Don’t play a character whose core personality traits are simply being cruel/evil. Don’t play a character whose sole focus is to kill npcs, be scary, and lord over other players’ characters. Don’t play a character who never develops or changes, and doesn’t facilitate change in other characters. Just don’t be an asshole edgelord. Don’t be flat and one dimensional. Don’t use rp to live out your fucked up power fantasy. Get therapy instead.

Honestly, I think this is the most clear part of my entire post, and also the worst, at the end there. I just am listing off behaviors that this figurative “bad villain rper” exhibits, and what offsets them. Play a villain that’s complex, had depth, nuance! I’m saying don’t play the “villain,” and then listing off what this specific hypothetical villain is. The opposite of deep and nuanced. The “bad villain rper” type the whole post is a vent about.

Then comes the dreaded “ Don’t use rp to live out your fucked up power fantasy. Get therapy instead. “ The villainous power fantasy. No, I do not think everyone who rp’s villains is like this. Yes, I believe there are people like this, who are INCREDIBLY few and far between, and if they solely use rp as an outlet to harass others both ICly and OOCly, that is bad! And maybe they should get help! And even, then, that was only half-serious! But therapy is a serious subject and I should have known better, and done better. Did all of that come off as intended? Hell no! Instead, it was the final nail in the coffin.

So! That’s what I was trying to say. Badly-written villains are a pain. If I had written up a post like I am now, with this long-ass thing, actually trying to be eloquent and clear. Not 4 am word vomit. This 4 am word vomit instead has gotten me to be read and interpreted as:

-being completely unable to separate character and player to the point where i think every villain’s player is a Real Life Bad Person and/or needs mental help

-saying all villains are boring because they’re not heroes, and thus are incapable of being complex and nuanced

-saying people who play dark/antagonistic characters are, in general, living out their fucked up power fantasy through them

-thinking that villainous characters are incredibly boring and just plain terrible

No! None of that is what I think! Absolutely none! I’m not going to go in and refute each of those claims, because, like I said, I’m not trying to make excuses here. But I WILL end this thing with what I do think of villainous characters and their players:

They’re fucking great, okay? A good story is made a gazillion times better by having a good villain in it, be the story a book, a movie, or an rp scenario. Well-written villain rpers are a TREASURE, and need to be appreciated! It is often harder to find rp with antagonistic toons, to begin with, and their players may find themselves getting shit on more often than others, which should absolutely not be the case. Characters that are complex and deep and nuanced are great no matter what their alignment is.

There ARE some pretty shitty villain rpers out there, too. And, in my own personal experience, they tend to be much more obnoxious than shitty hero rpers. A badly written hero will ruin a villain’s rp. A badly written villain may well try to ruin everybody around them’s rp.

Badly written villains suck. They’re the worst. And they make things worse for those that dedicate a lot of time and effort to crafting complex and cleverly written, compelling villains! Badly written villains are something I can and will complain about, just as well-written villains are something that I can and will praise. But I’ll try not to complain or vent on this platform anymore, to start.

And I do NOT blend IC and OOC. That’s the rper’s taboo! I will critique others who do it, though, which ironically is what I was sort of trying to do- complain about those specific villain players who do that. But anyway. If you’ve read this far, good for you! This has been way too long.

And. Please. If I do say or do something that hurts you in the future, regardless of what type of post it is, talk to me! Tell me what’s up! Thank you!

[tydy-the-megnet]

Let's Watch Captain Marvel

Alrighty. It's definitely late, but I finally got the DVD. So, I'm watching Captain Marvel.

I've decided to make this post about it, which I will write as I go, because I've seen a lot of discussion about the movie without actually hearing about what happens in it... so uh... yeah. Here are my thoughts as I think them:

Brie Larson looks good with long hair. Also, is Carol bleeding blue...? I want to know what that's about and if it's important

Movie is said to take place in the 90s. Space still already has flying cars. I guess Star Wars wasn't not accurate

Listen Sensei dude, if there is one thing I've learned from anime, emotions only make you stronger.

"You gave me these" *shakes fists* is that literal? Like did Mr Sensei really give her fists or is that referring to her powers...? I know nothing of Captain Marvel

He's talking about controlling impulses again. He clearly hasn't seen any anime

The Skrull are the shapeshifters yeah?

... amnesia...?

Now the supreme intelligence (god ai???) Is also talking about controlling her emotions. I still don't buy it.

Mission time. Digging the banter

"I laugh on the inside. I'm not doing that now."

Hm, not sure how I feel about the helmet thing

Hard light scuba gear? That's cool

I'm digging the kinda star wars vibe

Captain listen to your CO but also dont listen to him at all

Yeah the skrull are the shapeshifters everything makes sense now

Wait is her name Veers? Or is that what she's called just because she doesn't remember who she is?

AIR FORCE YEAH

GO KARTS YEAH

GO KART NO

More of this "too emotional" stuff?

Goose!

Digging the whole mental probe thing.

*Tries percussive maintain on a person*

"I dont know any Dr Larson"

So that had me confused bc I was like "Wasnt her name Danvers?" But Larson is the actress and I guess that's just a character????

Do I have the two backwards?

Skrull: *snarls*

Captain: *snarls back*

I like her

She fights like an anime character while everyone else is an 80s sci-fi movie

Get the boots!!!

And touchdown! Planet C-53! Locally known as Earth!

I guess Captain Marvel could be called a blockbuster hit in-universe and out huh?

I'm hilarious

Honey in basically in the space-boonies now you got no service here lol

This poor confused security guard lol

She called across the galaxy on a pay phone...? Yeah okay cool cool

"[C-53]'s a real shithole" yeah give it 30 years or so it gets worse

Okay why do people not like Captain Marvel?

She's like a mix of Tony, Thor, and Steve

Is that... Coulson? Young Coulson!?

YOUNG FURY!

I don't think that was young Coulson after all...

Or is it?

Idek

TRAIN FIGHT

Why are these bystanders trying to stop Veers(?) from fighting this obviously not normal old lady?

What kinda old lady can flip like that?

TRAIN FIGHT 2, ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

oh it was Young Coulson!

Poor Coulson

Damn, Nick

*uses AltaVista*

So it's later 90s. Got it.

Lmao dial-up

I guess they're in california?

Lmao dial-up

Ah so this is the motorcycle scene I've heard about. Apparently they cut the part where she nearly breaks the guy's fingers? Disappointing.

The skrull aren't carbon-based life forms that's so cool!

Not on the periodic table...? Let's see, in the 90s... I guess stuff like rutherfordium and onward wouldn't be on there. Uh, maybe technetium? There might be a couple others but for the most part chemistry was advanced enough.

Unless it's something beyond like 118. Which is weird to think about but whatever I should stop thinking about it

Except elements like that would have to be in group 14 yeah?

Biology isnt exactly my forte but

Okay perhaps it's what we now know as flerovium?

The elements in the carbon group should react similarly enough to be the foundation of an entire life form

That's why silicon is used for synthetic stuff a lot right?

And tin

I'm getting off track the movie has been paused for a few minutes now

I'm just going to assume they are flerovium-based life forms

Oh shit they're in SHIELD

So Pegasus is a flight team, or an AF division, or....?

"I don't know if this guy is really human. I'd better ask a bunch of questions to which I don't know the answer."

A skrull could be saying random words and it would totally work

"If toast is cut diagonally I can't easy it."

Why the heck not??????

"That was a photon blast" is that what that is? Awesome

I want Peter to meet her. I think he'd have a new contender for favorite

"A skrull can't do that. " how is he supposed to know that?

Young and slightly less suspicious Fury??

"Noble warrior heroes"

J O S E P H

NASA and USAF. Sweet.

"State-of-the-art two-way pager"

Ah the old tape-and-fingerprint trick. Haven't seen that since the 90s--oh

GOOSE

Fury meeting Goose is the purest scene in marvel

"you sat there and watched me play with tape?" Lmao

"Shes kookoo" "Kree glyphs" ":O"

Veers was the pilot

I still don't know her sensei's name

"Excellent work, Nicholas" ":O"

LARSON WAS MAR-VELL!??!!!?!

(I know who Mar-Vell is!)

Okay okay okay

More of this "dont emotion" garbage. Listen Veers, DON'T listen

FURY FIGHT SCENE

COULSON NO

COULSON YES

"You know how to fly this thing?" "Uh" "it's a yes or no question"

GOOSE

They're going to LA

(Louisiana not Los Angeles)

Cool

Why do people not like this this is great!

She's got the worst part of Thor, but the best part of Tony and Steve!

RONIN!?!??!??!?!!?!??!?!?!??!??!:0!?!?!

AUNTIE CAROL?!?!?

(So it IS Carol Danvers. Which means Larson isn't her mother. Which makes since because she's actually Mar-Vell. Who's... well, not the mother.)

The Good Lady Ms. Captain Carol Marvel "I-Can-Boil-Tea-With-My-Bare-Hands-Which-Shoot-Lasers-Too" Danvers Ma'am

"You're jacket. Mom doesn't let me wear it anymore after I spilled ketchup on it."

I dont know this kid's name but I really really like her.

"Call me young lady again and I'll put my foot in a place it's not supposed to be."

... that one is more clever with context but whatever

"Am I supposed to guess where that is?" "Your ass"

Monika. That's the kid's name. She's great.

Ah, more ancient relics they call "tech" lol

FLY TIME

Do a barrel roll

She did a barrel roll!

"Your blood is uhhh blue" "yeah but how's my hair"

Ah, "Vers" bc they assumed that was her name. Interesting.

Also I want to get super power by blowing something up that's way cooler than being bitten by a stupid spider

Is she human? Is she not? I've no clue

The skrull are the good guys. Things are starting to make sense again.

... maybe I should've pushed to watch this before far from home.

... huh.

... is she human?

Okay so I'm still a little confused but I think I got it.

Though I won't say I dont want something else to blow up

"Those aren't coordinates they're orbital vectors." "It's basic physics." "Couldnt you figure that out? You're my science guy."

"I just think you should consider what kind of example you're setting for your daughter." That's it. That's the best line in the whole movie. Time to go.

Her suit can change colors on a whim!?!

That's awesome

I DIG THE NEW LOOK

I mean I saw it in Endgame but

"How do I look?" "Fresh" lmao 90s

RONIN NO

GOOSE YES

"What's a cat?" xD

"Why would I turn into a filing cabinet?"

Space lab. Cool.

Is that the tesseract??

THAT'S THE TESSERACT

She can pick it up!!

Does that mean she could've wielded the Infinity Gauntlet??????

Pinball lmao

968700!?!???!??!!?!!??!?!???!??!?!??!?!?!?

HOLY FLERKEN SHIP

GOOSE

YES CAROL

GET EMOTIONED

KICK HIS BUTT

GOOSE NOOOO

Those bastards

"Only human" HEY I RESENT THAT

THE FACT THAT YOUR HUMAN FILLS YOU WITH DETERMINATION

GOOD LADY MISS CAPTAIN CAROL MARVEL DANVERS MISS AWESOME MA'AM SENPAI SAMA

SHE'S A SUPER SAIYAN

PURE OF HEART AND AWAKENED BY FURY

(I'm still hilarious)

GOOSE DID THE THING

This is awesome why dont more people love it???

"Good kitty"

This very quickly went from Star Wars to Dragon Ball and I am loving it

She really is an anime character

Did she? Is that? Nerf gun?

Okay Carol isnt that much god mode there was just a nerd gun on the floor okay cool yeah sure

"Just like Havana" TALOS YOU BEAUTIFUL--

Remember how captain america jumped to the outside of a plane and fought through it? Yeah CM just did that in SPACE take that Steve

Still dont know how I feel about the helmet thing though

JUST LIKE BEGGAR'S CANYON BACK HOME

RONIN

Yeah, those are explosions

Ronin: O_O

Ronin: .... yeah bye

"I have nothing to prove to you."

HECK YEAH. GO CAROL. LASER HIS BUTT.

Fury lost his eye! GOOSE HE TRUSTED YOU

*thinks back to that moment in Winter Soldier*

"You were Solar and the SHIELD agent?" Omg Carol yes keep up

Fury SINGS?!?!

So like, are her powers just straight up energy manipulation? Because that's pretty cool. Really versatile, too

The way she started the engine makes it seem so

And then she just,,,,,, flies away. Into the night. Like stardust in the wind.

Dig the jacket, though

"The Protector Initiative"

It begins......

"Is it true? The Kree burned your eye out because you refused to give them the tesseract?" "I will neither confirm nor deny the facts of that story"

Lmao Fury

"CAPT CAROL "AVENGER" DANVERS"

"The Avenger Initiative"

It didnt actually show it but we know

Also, dig the music

Aaand now we see, 20ish years later, the snappening

"I wanna know who's on the other end of that thing"

First of all I love that they dont call it a pager because it's 2018 wtf is a pager amirite?

Second, I love how Carol is just there. Great reveal. 1007391861604016/10

"Where's Fury?" D:

Better question, where is Goose???

*one roll of credits later*

Oh! :D

Lmao the tesseract

God this movie is amazing

[ryncorrect]

university!au: day6 wonpil

first of all i will definitely do poorly on this because,,, you know,,,,, he’s so precious and i don’t think my words can do it justice ksbdjshs i wanna make the sweetest scenario for him

but i suck at sweet stuffs smh bye

name: kim wonpil

major: modeling (i still cant believe this is an actual major im living under a rock smh)

other activities: member of music club, keyboardist and main singer of the university band

jae calls him “the backbone” of the music club because wonpil participates in all club events, he always takes part in weekly activities, and he actively finds new recruits

jae on the other side pops up once in a blue moon to play guitar, do shit, then disappears

don’t worry ever since jae starts dating the newest member who happens to be wonpil’s bestie he’s more active now

honestly more than half of their club members joined because wonpil made them to

he’s persuasive and convincing okay you would end up eating rocks if he told you it’s good for health

but he’ll never do that ever bc he speaks no lies okay he’s like the sweetest person in the earth

he’ll cry by the sight of cute puppies, do i have to explain further

wonpil was nominated as the club president but the other candidate park sungjin who’s also his roommate beat him by one vote

well he prefers to be just regular member anyway, that way he can still do a lot of things for the club but with less responsibilities

you see he’s really nice, he’s caring, he’s hardworking, he’s confident, he knows how to present himself and he’s hella attractive

he’s taking modeling as his major do i make myself clear

everyone LOVES wonpil

and i mean sometimes it’s just not only a platonic love but like an “i will give you my heart and soul please marry me” love

too bad he’s oblivious af

someone: i,, i like you wonpil,,,, d-do you like me too?

wonpil: of course!!! you’re my friend!!!!!!!!!

someone: ….oh ok

accidental friendzone

but you know he doesnt actually mean to do that, he just doesn’t think anyone likes him like that

moreover he already has someone in mind

aka the coffee shop girl

aka Y O U

yeah hello guys i am: still lame

the first time he met you was on exams week

everyone was busy and stressed af and running on almost no sleep

except maybe wonpil

not because he was fully prepared but more like he forgot exams week was coming until the day before so he just decided to wing it lol whatevs

anyway his roommate aka sungjin asked him if he could go buy him a double shot espresso so wonpil did

he rarely visits coffee shops tbh and when he does he always orders vanilla latte with extra syrup for himself

wonpil seems to be that kinda person who tries to enjoy coffee but can’t handle the bitter taste its so frickin cute and trust me you think so too

so anywayyyy yeah he never saw you, aka the new barista, before

it was ur first work day as well btw and he was ur first customer

he didn’t know why but watching you being nervous made him nervous too

just imagine a stuttering costumer and a stuttering barista

everyone watched you two with anxiety

but even when wonpil was a nervous wreck he didn’t forget to smile and before leaving he said to you, “thanks, have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!”

honest to god it made your whole day better

anyway let’s move on to the second meeting

he comes back and this time he orders a vanilla latte, but being the clumsy ass that you are, you slightly confused his order

he receives his coffee and takes a sip and he freezes

you ask whats wrong and he’s like,, uh nothing,, the coffee is just,,,, kinda bitter today??? ha,,,hahahhaha,,,,

you stand still

wait

he asked for EXTRA SYRUP not EXTRA SHOT you dumbfucc

you offer to make him a new one and he refuses saying it’s fine!!! but you still feel bad so you insist but he’s like no!!! i gotta stay awake anyway i have an important quiz today i have to study! by the way uhhhh i’ve never seen you around until recently???

you introduce yourself and he introduce himself blablabla it’s awkward and your palms keep sweating for some reason

before wonpil left, he didn’t forget to say “have a great day!! i’ll see you around then!!!”

he’s so sweet uwu

seeing him and making him his vanilla latte (extra syrup) is one of the best parts of your job tbh

and he visits every single time you’re working which makes it better

why is his smile so adorable what the fuck

and there’s something about the way he walks that keeps you looking i mean boiiiii does he know how to present himself holy shit

that feeling when you see someone so beautiful you want to cry

the more you see him the more you want to know about him

what major is he in? what is he usually do outside the class? what kind of person is he? does he have a lot of friends? what’s his hobby? stuffs like that

too bad he always comes when it’s busy at the cafe so you can’t talk too much

neither he ever tries to initiate a conversation with you except his usual “hello! how are you today?” and “thank you, you make the best coffee! have a nice day!! see you!!!”

let’s admit it you highkey have a crush on him and EVERYONE knows

wELL it’s because you always wear that expression like "goddammit why must kim wonpil be so cute if he ain’t gonna ask me on a date” whenever you watch his back as he leaves the cafe

and EVERYONE but YOU knows wonpil’s so into you

whenever someone says something like “just ask him for his number he’ll definitely give it to you” you’re like “wtf nO that’s creepy and he won’t!! he doesn’t even know me!!!”

“he literally only comes when it’s your shift and he always makes sure you’re the one taking his order you oblivious dumbass”

“it’s just a coincidence”

“…..yeah whatever”

but they’re right wonpil’s crushing on you hard

at this point sungjin can even draw a portrait of you although he hasn’t actually met you before

that’s how much wonpil talks about you

from your whole adorable appearance to how cute your little cough is, or how he adores your little smile and the sparks in your eyes when he compliments your coffee, or he’ll describe your apron what the fuck and how he thinks your look so good in white and blue

sungjin’s so done with him

“just ask her out you stalker”

“nO I CAN’T!!! SHE’LL THINK IM CREEPY!!! SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW ME”

“well i bet she remembers your face by now since you always drop by when she’s there”

“but she meets a lot of people everyday there’s NO WAY she can remember me”

you see the problem now?

then one day jae decides to play matchmaker

by “playing matchmaker” i mean he follows wonpil to the cafe and straight up tells you, in front of wonpil’s face and everyone there, “yo this friend of mine wants to take you on a date and he wonders if you’re interested”

you are: blushing

wonpil is: dead pale

you: o-oh… i’m–

wonpil: yO HE’S JUST JOKING HAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY oH My gOd jAE LET’S GO

he drags his tall friend aka jae out of the cafe and since then he never visits again :(

im sad now ugh i told you i suck at sweet stuffs like this

fast forward it’s summer and the university wonpil’s attending is holding a summer festival that’s open for public

well,,,,, you decide to go and you ask some of your friends to tag along

you’re not sure what you’re hoping; maybe you just want to see how the place wonpil’s studying at looks like, or maybe you do wish to meet him by accident or something yanno like a drama

whatever

you promised yourself that if you don’t see him today, you’ll get over him

but if you do see him, you will ask. him. out.

well jokes on you babe he’s there performing on the stage with the band

he’s,,, he’s singing,,, and playing keyboard,,,, omg his voice

as you already know im uncreative soooo by impossible coincidence somehow his eyes spot you in the crowd

btw i imagine them singing Pouring but i think you can pick any songs you like

he’s so taken aback that one second he’s singing and the next second he sees you and his eyes widen and he’s like “I’m falling for–hUH? why are you here??” to the microphone

don’t worry the others cover for his mistake while trying not to laugh

everyone laughs too while looking around to find the person whom wonpil sees

you’re embarrassed as fuck you want to curl up and hide forever

but your so-called-friends don’t let you get away that easy okay it’s your only chance

dw dude wonpil feels the same he wants to immediately get off the stage and die

but sungjin will literally kill wonpil in his sleep if he doesn’t do anything it’s now or never

poor boi has had enough of this pining shit

so after the band performance wonpil has no choice but to approach you

“h-hey! so you watched our stage!”

“y-yeah! it was great!! didn’t know you can sing so well”

“h-haha thanks”

“y-you’re welcome”

silence

more silence

wonpil clears his throat and, “so…”

you blink fast, “yeah…?”

“um uhhh do you wanna see around? i can take you”

“oH of course”

What Am I Even Writing Anymore

well remember your promise earlier? about asking him out?? no???

is it too late to chicken out and forget the whole thing now

you barely know each other it’s so awkward and he looks so fine today and you really don’t wanna push him even further now but if you hesitate longer who knows someone else will ask him first and just the thought alone breaks your heart a little bit

so it’s time to grow a pair and take risks cmon dude you can do this

one

two

“anywaysijustwonderifyou'refreenextsaturday?”

wait

it was!! not!!! your voice!!!!

“huh?”

wonpil clears his throat and repeats slower, “i just wonder if you’re uhhhh free next saturday?”

o shit

o fUck YeAH

you cough a bit before answering, “y-y-yeah i guess??”

“ok um i like, have two tickets for movie if you want to come with me”

that’s like the lamest invitation and you yourself gotta admit that lmao

but oh kim wonpil,, dear,,,, there’s no way i would say no

so you two go on a date

or “casual outing” as you two call it

but everyone knows it’s a date okay even though you two didn’t have any skinskip oops

it’s okay it takes a bit of time but you’ll get there

i mean, since then you two go out together almost every weekend so ye it won’t be that long until the awkwardness wears off

wonpil just cherish you so much he’s afraid he’ll scare you or hurt your feeling by accident so he never boldly initiates anything

the first time you two finally holding hands is when you two go skating, and that’s just because you two are so bad at that

gotta hold each other so you won’t keep falling aye romance

you don’t know this but trust me wonpil talks about it for days sungjin almost decides to move out

he’s still insisting it’s not a date tho

“you know what, i can already imagine you two in like 10 years, standing at the altar and be like, do you marry me as a friend or what? unclear”

“do you think we’ll get married?????”

“oh dear god”

but yeah

you two will get there

somehow

just take your sweet time and give wonpil all the love in the world i beg you

that’s it YAY i think imma work on sungjin’s next wish me luck im running out of lame cliche ideas now lol bye

[banshee-cheekbones]

standrew + sasha sloan - runaway (angsty af) ┰ω┰

hello friend, this is so delayed and I am so sorry!

anyways, four months to the day after I posted my last fic, I’m back, with a metric ton of angst and unresolved romantic tension! set in the days leading up to Steven’s move to New York! 

~4k, on ao3 here. the song that inspired this can be found here.

run away, runaway.

The Uber that picks Steven up at six o’clock in the morning smells like fresh leather and pine air freshener, like it rolled off the lot of a dealership only a few minutes ago. The inside is completely lacking in personality and customization. There are no trinkets on the dashboard, nothing dangling from the rear view mirror, nothing but NPR piping from the speakers.

Frankly, it’s almost strangely appropriate - a brand new car come to ferry him away to a brand new life.

The driver briefly greets him before pulling away from the curb and lapsing into silence, and Steven doesn’t try to pursue a conversation. For starters, it’s too early, and he’s too damn tired; he’d gotten maybe an hour of solid, decent sleep last night, even though he turned in around midnight. Most of his time in bed had been spent tossing and turning on his narrow couch, trying to find a spot that would send him off to sleep despite the racing of his mind and the way it had been desperately replaying every minute of the night’s events.

As the driver turns onto another street, one of a handful that will eventually lead to the interstate and then LAX and then New York City, the night starts unfurling again in the confines of his mind. He doesn’t bother trying to shove the recollection away, doesn’t try to distract himself with staring out the window at the passing scenery; it’s probably better that he get the replay over with now, so that he can get some sleep on the airplane and try to prepare himself for the hectic days and weeks to come.

So he closes his eyes, leans his head back against the firm leather of the seat, and lets last night (and the events that led up to it) wash over him in a wave composed of nothing less than pure and utter regret.

—

It’s Adam’s idea to have a farewell dinner.

He brings it up at lunchtime, a week before Steven’s official last day in the LA office, while they’re sitting at one of the picnic tables outside, sheltered from the sun by a massive umbrella and gorging themselves on food truck tacos. He says it so seriously that, for a moment, Steven can’t help but wonder if Adam has somehow misunderstood, that he’s gotten the impression that this is a permanent goodbye.

“You know I’ll be back here like, once a month, right?” he asks, wiping guacamole away from the corner of his mouth. “Probably more than that, actually.”

“I know,” Adam answers with a slight shrug of his shoulders and a fraction of a smile. “But still.”

“I think it’s a great idea,” Andrew chimes in from Steven’s side. Despite the fact that each side of the table could easily fit three people (or four if they squeezed together), Andrew is pressed against his side, elbow to elbow and thigh to thigh, like they’re filming an episode of Worth It, warming Steven even more thoroughly than the sun. “Who knows when we’ll be able to hang out again? We’ll probably be too busy working on the show whenever you come back.”

“I’ll make time,” Steven replies, feeling a frown tugging at his mouth. The three of them had discussed the logistics of his move, how it would affect the show, in fair detail when he’d initially told them about it, but he can’t help but feel that he’s missing something here, that he’s maybe overestimated how well they took the news. However, going down that path seems like it could be a tangent that could drag them all down in the dumps, so instead, he plasters a smile onto his face and leans across the table to steal a piece of chicken that has fallen out of Adam’s taco. “But sure, we can do dinner. Where do you want to go?”

“You should pick,” Adam says, carefully pulling his taco back so that it’s out of Steven’s reach. “You pick, and we can make the rest of the arrangements.”

Even though it’s really not that big of a decision (especially when compared to the decision that precipitated it, the decision to move across the country on what is really a hunch and a feeling), it distracts Steven’s mind for the rest of the day. Every time he opens a tab on his laptop, intent on researching something or checking his email, he somehow finds himself looking up restaurants both new and old, places they’ve visited over the course of Worth It and places he’s had on his must try list for months. No matter how hard he tries to concentrate, it keeps happening, over and over again, and finally, when five o’clock comes around, he throws in the towel and dedicates himself fully to the task.

After half an hour purely devoted to research, he makes a decision.

He’s just grabbed his phone to text Adam and Andrew when the latter comes up the stairs from the lobby, burying a yawn into the crook of his elbow. His shirt is dotted with dark stains and dustings of flour, and his hair is a strange mixture of flattened and spiky. Per the usual, Steven’s heart skips a beat at the sight of him and, also per the usual, he forces himself to ignore that particular skip so that he can speak without fumbling every word from his mouth.

“Think Adam would be down with Le Petit Paris for dinner?”

“For next week?” A small smile forms on Andrew’s mouth as he drops down into his seat at the desk beside Steven’s. “Yeah, definitely. Good pick.”

It’s such a casual phrase, really means nothing in the grand scheme of things (frankly, Steven is pretty sure that he could pick most any restaurant in the city, and Andrew would think it was a good pick), but warmth still flickers in his cheeks and chest all the same.

“Thanks,” he replies, busying himself with packing up his laptop so that he doesn’t have to focus on trying to pull his gaze away from Andrew’s smiling face. “See you tomorrow?”

“Bright and early. Night, Steven.”

There’s always been something different about the way Andrew says his name, something that makes it so much more than an absent minded way to end a sentence. It’s almost feels considerate, somehow, coming from Andrew’s mouth, and Steven has to swallow heavily before he answers.

“Yeah. Night, Andrew.”

&.

The week seems to pass in the blink of an eye.

Every available moment is filled with something to do. When he isn’t at work, he’s at home, figuring out which of his possessions should go into storage for the time being and boxing up the rest, or he’s out with his friends or people from the office, soaking up every last bit of California sun, because he doesn’t know when he’ll be returning for more.

By the time Thursday morning comes around, his apartment looks like he’s just moved in. The only article of furniture still in one piece is the couch, which he’s been sleeping on for a few days. He spends the first half of the day keeping track of everything as movers load the carefully packed cardboard boxes and furniture into a truck, ready to take it across the country. When they drive away, his apartment is so empty that every sound he makes, every footstep and hum, echoes back at him.

Even though there’s probably some more cleaning he could do, the echoing starts to get at him, and he heads into work shortly after lunch, aiming to have a productive afternoon, to wrap up some stuff that will be easier to handle in person than from a few thousand miles away.

Instead, he spends the afternoon saying goodbye to what feels like seemingly everyone in the LA office. He picks up stakes a few times, moves to a different part of the compound so he can maybe have a better chance of focusing, but each time is to no avail. Someone, whether it be Jen or Kelsey or Garrett or Alix, always finds him.

At four thirty, he gives up. He isn’t going to get anything done, not now, and besides, their dinner reservations are in an hour; even if he didmanage to buckle down and focus, he’d get torn away again just as he was starting to hit a groove. So instead, he heads back upstairs to his desk to make sure he hasn’t forgotten anything, to make sure he hasn’t left behind a mess for whoever will be taking his place.

He hasn’t. It could use a quick wipe down, but other than that, he’s already managed to remove all traces from it. The little trinkets that have accumulated on it over the years are gone, removed one at a time over the past few weeks. The drawer underneath it is empty of any personal effects; there are a few pens and other supplies rolling around, but he decides to leave them there as a kind of housewarming gift for his replacement.

Compared to Andrew’s desk on his left, with its box full of plushies and the photographs carefully peeking out of books, it looks downright sterile. At the sight of it, Steven’s chest grows momentarily tight, and he forces himself to tear his eyes away.

He’s not going to let this be a problem. He’s spent years carefully keeping his emotions at bay, keeping his feelings for Andrew tucked away the best he can. On the few occasions that they’ve escaped, he’s always been able to come up with a reasonable excuse, always been able to explain them away as a bit for an episode or the result of one glass of wine too many.

As much as it aches to swallow them down now, he’ll be damned if he’s going to let them slip out on today of all days.

Leaving his desk behind, he heads across the compound until he reaches the studio where Eating Your Feed is filming. He can hear laughter leaking out through the door, and part of him wants to slip inside, wants to watch his friends having fun, wants to watch Andrew having fun. Part of him wants to simply memorize the smile that’s no doubt gracing Andrew’s face, wants to keep it close to his chest so that he’ll have it on the long nights between now and the next time he comes into town.

But, as nice of a memento that would be, it would also hurt, having that smile living in his mind but not being able to access the real thing, and while Steven may be many things, he’s not that much of a masochist.

So instead, he leans back against the wall opposite the studio and distracts himself with his phone while he waits for filming to finish up. Thankfully, he only has to wait about twenty minutes before the door opens, and Niki and Rie come out. He says yet another round of goodbyes to them, and they’re just heading down the corridor when Adam, Annie and Andrew come out as well.

“Ready for dinner?” Adam asks.

“Whenever you are. Do you guys wanna change first?” Adam and Annie shake their heads, but Andrew nods emphatically.

“Yeah, please. That room is way too hot.”

“That room is the perfect temperature,” Annie responds, deadpan. “You just sweat more than any human being should.”

Andrew shrugs. “You’re not wrong. Meet you guys out in the parking lot.”

Adam is the only one of them who drove in today (Steven sold his car last week, and Andrew’s is in the shop), so they wait by his car, leaning against the hood and talking about how the shoot had gone. The evening looks like it’s going to be a beautiful one; the sun has begun to slip towards the horizon, still providing illumination but with less of the heavy heat that’s been sitting low over the city for the last few weeks, and there’s not a cloud in the sky, no sign of any rain that might put a wash on the evening.

Really, he couldn’t have asked for a better last night.

But that’s before Andrew comes out of the building.

At the sight of him, the words Steven was planning on saying to Adam and Annie die in his throat. Andrew’s plain white t-shirt is gone, replaced with a black button-up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing the cords of his forearms and the watch strapped around his wrist. It looks like he ran water through his hair as well; it’s slicked over to one side, flyaways tamped down for the time being, although Steven wouldn’t be surprised if they reappeared soon.

Simply put, even though there’s nothing particularly new or unique about the outfit, nothing out of the ordinary, Andrew looks amazing, and Steven suddenly feels like this is a horrible idea. He feels like he should come up with an excuse, any excuse, to get out of dinner, because this is going to be painful. This is going to hurt more than he’s prepared to deal with.

But it’s too late to back out. Andrew has already reached the car, and Adam has dug his keys from the depths of his pocket. If Steven were to flee now, he’d be hurting his friends, and he wants that like he wants a hole in the head.

So, with his heart heavy in his chest, he slides into the back beside Andrew, tries not to catch the scent of Andrew’s cologne (and fails), and attempts to portion off the part of his brain that has a thing for Andrew, that has had a thing for him pretty well from the first day they met.

&.

Remarkably, he manages to keep himself under control for almost the entirety of dinner.

They keep the conversation light, turned away from the real reason they’re there. They talk about work and movies and the amazing food in front of them, about Andrew’s new cat and Adam and Annie’s new apartment, but they do not talk about the move.

Nor do they talk about the fact that there’s something between Andrew and Steven, something hovering between them like an unseen fifth person, something that has Steven’s nerves pulled taut.

The tables at the restaurant are not unreasonably small, but somehow, Steven finds himself repeatedly brushing against Andrew. When they move to grab a piece of cutlery or their respective glasses of wine, their arms touch, and it feels like fire singing Steven’s skin. Even when they’re eating, Andrew’s knee keeps bumping against Steven’s.

But even more so than that, Steven can feel Andrew staring at him, almost from the very moment they sit down. Andrew’s gaze has always heavy, borderline overbearing, but Steven thought that he’d become accustomed to it, that he’d become adept at shaking the weight of it off like it was no more than a feather.

Apparently not.

It has to be obvious to Adam and Annie, but neither of them say a word or draw any attention to it. What they do do, however, is conveniently excuse themselves to the washroom once they’re finished up with their meals, leaving Steven with no way out and nothing to focus on.

Nothing but Andrew.

He knows that something is going to happen; it has to. Something has to happen, something has to pop the tension that’s coiling tight around his chest like a predatory snake, threatening to take every inch of breath he has. If something doesn’t happen, he’ll suffocate.

“I can’t believe it’s tomorrow,” Andrew says quietly. His knee is pressed against Steven’s again. Steven is looking at Andrew’s scraped clean plate, but in his peripheral vision, he can see Andrew tilting his head to look at him. He can feel Andrew’s gaze on him. “I thought…” Andrew pauses for a moment, and his fingers momentarily twitch on the clean white linen of the tablecloth. “I don’t know. I thought we were gonna have more time, you know?”

“Andrew…” Steven doesn’t intend on letting the word leave his mouth, but it exits all the same, hangs heavily in the air between them, as visible as a gaudy ornament on a Christmas tree. Now that it’s out in the open, he can feel himself tiptoeing towards the road he promised himself he wouldn’t go down, for both of their sakes.

But then again, would it really be so bad? Would it really be so bad if, underneath the warm-toned lighting of the restaurant, surrounded by the peaceful murmur of other patrons and faint string music, he simply confessed everything? If he finally told Andrew everything that’s been filling his mind, to some degree or another, for the past few years?

He could finally say I love you. I’ve loved you for so long. He could finally say, I think we could make a life together, or you make me feel safe, or you make me want to stay.

Or maybe he could simply look up from the table, catch Andrew’s unwavering eye, and finally kiss him, the way he’s dreamed about for literal years.

Would that be so bad?

The answer, of course, is yes.

Even though the words ache to spill from his lips, even though he is fairly certain that his feelings would be reciprocated, throwing all of that on Andrew now, the night before he leaves, feels like a special kind of disrespect. It feels completely and utterly selfish.

It feels cruel.

If there’s one thing Andrew doesn’t deserve, it’s cruelty.

“Yes?” Andrew says. His fingers have moved to Steven’s side of the table, and they’re curled into the thick fabric of the tablecloth. There’s a hopeful note in his voice, something that almost makes Steven reconsider, makes him say screw it and lean in anyways.

But he doesn’t.

Instead, he mutters, “Never mind. I forget what I was going to say.” He flicks his eyes away from Andrew’s fingers and back to his own plate, where he spears a noodle and shoves it into his mouth.

Even though the sauce is exploding with flavor, decadent and creamy, he can barely taste it over the sour taste flooding through his mouth.

Adam and Annie return moments later, and after settling their bills, they step back out into the night. The evening has grown cool, and there’s a stiff breeze that makes a chill run down Steven’s spine, breaking through the uncomfortable warmth that’s been stifling him ever since his aborted confession.

“Want a lift home?” Adam asks once they’re outside. “Or to the airport tomorrow? I can come pick you up.”

Adam’s companionship would probably beat the hell out of an Uber driver, but Steven’s decision to shake his head is twofold: he doesn’t want to drag Adam out of bed that early, and he knows that if Adam comes, so will Andrew, and Steven isn’t sure he could deal with going through yet another goodbye.

If he has to do that, he thinks his willpower might finally snap.

“I’ll be fine,” he answers. “But I’ll let you all know when I land tomorrow, alright?”

“You better,” Annie responds, pulling him into a quick hug. Adam follows up, grabs him tight and thumps him on the back hard enough to make Steven cough with surprise. After he steps away, he glances over at Andrew.

“What about you, Drew? Want a lift home?”

“That’d be great, actually. Be there in a second.” While Adam and Annie drift over towards the car, Andrew comes to stand in front of Steven. There’s no escaping his eyes now, nowhere Steven can look that won’t make it painfully obvious that he’s avoiding eye contact. Steeling himself with a deep breath, he glances from Adam and Annie to Andrew.

The breath does almost nothing to prepare himself for the depth of emotion written in Andrew’s eyes, on his face. It’s not quite sadness; if anything, it might be closer to regret, tinged with a bit of weariness.

Steven is willing to bet that he’s probably wearing a similar expression.

Without warning, Andrew pulls him into a tight hug, and Steven’s walls temporarily fall down. He fully melts against Andrew, wraps his arms around his neck and hauls him in close, until he can feel Andrew’s broad chest expanding against his own. This close, he can smell Andrew’s cologne, along with a hint of wine from dinner, and he knows that smell is going to transfer onto his own clothes, that it might very well be the first thing he smells when he wakes up in the morning.

“You can always talk to me, you know,” Andrew murmurs. The words brush warmly against the side of Steven’s neck. “Doesn’t matter what time it is. I’ll always answer, Steven.”

“I know.” The words have to traverse a lump in Steven’s throat in order to leave his mouth. “I’ll reach out if I need anything. I promise.”

“Good.”

They stay like that for a few more moments, fully wrapped around each other, Steven’s mind empty of any thought that doesn’t directly relate to how wonderful Andrew feels pressed up against him. Eventually, Andrew’s grip slackens, and Steven loosens his own arms in anticipation of stepping away.

Andrew steps back first, and as he moves away, he turns his head and brushes his lips against Steven’s temple.

It’s too gentle to be much of a kiss, but gentle or not, Steven feels it as viscerally as a punch to the jaw, and it’s all he can do to keep himself from reeling backwards, from simply dropping to the ground.

“Have a safe flight,” Andrew says, cheeks faintly tinged pink. “I’ll see you soon?”

Steven can’t speak. All he can do is nod, so overwhelmed with the urge to lurch forward and kiss Andrew that it physically hurts to restrain himself. With a slight smile, Andrew turns and walks over to Adam’s car.

It’s only after he clambers inside that Steven starts breathing again. As soon as he takes in a deep breath, warmth starts pricking at the corners of his eyes, and he refocuses all his energy on keeping that warmth from spilling over.

He’s successful up until the moment he gets through his front door.

From that point on, there’s no stopping it.

+++

He can’t see the terminals yet, but LAX is still looming before him, present in the freeway signs overhead and the sight of planes taking off, disappearing into the sky.

He glances down at where his phone is resting in his lap. It’s still too early for Andrew to be up, but Steven can’t help but play with the idea of texting him, of saying something.

But what would he say? Everything that he wants to say is too long to be distilled down to a single text message, or even a string of them. He supposes that he could just say that he’s sorry, but that isn’t nearly enough. It’s not good enough. Not good enough for Andrew, who deserves nothing less than the entire world and all the joy in it.

Maybe one day, he’ll tell Andrew. Maybe one day, the spires of New York will no longer feel like home, and he’ll come back for good to the smog and sun of LA. Maybe he’ll come back, ready to spill everything, ready and willing to tell Andrew absolutely everything.

But maybe, by that point, Andrew won’t want to hear those words. Maybe he’ll have found someone else. Maybe he’ll have simply moved on, the distance between them, despite Steven’s occasional jaunts home, having killed off whatever exists between them. Maybe the distance will have killed or, at the very least, quieted everything that Steven is feeling right now.

With one last glance at the screen, Steven pockets his phone and sighs.

As painful as the thought may be, for the sake of both his own happiness and Andrew’s, he really, truly hopes that that ends up being the case.

[raviposting]

how about two top fives? top five characters you werent supposed to like but you did and top five characters you were supposed to like but didnt

Ooh nice I really have to think about this! And I hope this is what you meant but I took this to be what the narrative wanted you to like and/or who fandom likes a lot 

Characters I Wasn’t Supposed to Like But Did: 

I remember when I started Buffy, I saw that fandom had hated Dawn and I was going in prepared to be like, oh man, I’m probably gonna hate her too I wonder why she’s so annoying what does she do? And then I watched and I just…didn’t get it? I understood why she wouldn’t be anyone’s top 5 but I absolutely adored her and she was tied for #1 favorite character for me 

Probably Cersei Lannister lmao. She was a massive bitch and I was rooting for her death the whole time, but god she was one of the most fun characters to watch and I loved to hate her so much that she’d go on screen and I’d be like “YESSSSS” 

People really hated Carl from TWD and I think that’s lessened a lot nowadays but man I always adored that kid. I know he had his annoying moments but I absolutely adored him and he’s the only reason I ever continued on with the show after Glenn died. 

I’m going to be honest. I really don’t hate Ross from Friends. Yeah he’s pretty shitty and his views are outdated af (maybe even for the 90s?) but I thought he was a funny character and honestly, I thought that with the exception of Phoebe they were all kind of shitty characters (Chandler made fun of Monica’s weight multiple times from a friend to being her husband and was with Cathy while she was with Joey, Monica assumed a maid was stealing from her, etc.). Also side note, Ted from HIMYM annoys me a lot but honestly I didn’t go through the show hating him. I went through the show with him as my least favorite each season and being far more invested in Swarkles and their story, but I ultimately did stick through the show to hear his story, and to see how he may have grown in order to find and be with Tracy - and when he met her I was happy not only because we finally saw how he met the Mother, but because he was finally with his soulmate (until the show fucked it up, of course). But anyway, idk, as much as I love Swarkles and the other characters, I don’t think I would have been able to follow the show if I hated the main character and wasn’t invested in him finding happiness

Kali from Stranger Things. Her story was underdeveloped, sure, but I’m hoping to see more of her in the coming seasons and I’m going to be real, I feel like if she was played by someone like Dacre Montgomery fans would have been raaaaving about how amazing Kali was and how they were excited to see more of Kali in the future. 

Characters I Was Supposed to Like But Didn’t: 

Michael Cordero from JTV. I actually started out liking him, just not wanting him and Jane together, because - and don’t get me wrong before I say anything; Rafael has messed up too, but the extent Michael did things was on a far greater scale to ruin a relationship forever IMO. He made a plan with Petra for her to get Jane’s baby, even when Jane wasn’t sure, he was directly responsible for Mateo getting kidnapped - which wasn’t his intention, but later when Rafael reported him, Michael knew this, went undercover, and still initiated a fight with Rafael saying that he got him fired, and did this while Rafael was right next to his infant son, who ended up getting hurt. Then he continued to just stalk Jane afterwards, and I just couldn’t understand how a character like Jane, who despite being so full of love and forgiveness still loves her son above all else, was with and married a man who tried to get him out of her life and directly hurt him. The more I watched the more I disliked him, and I hated the bad implication of fans ramping up Rafael to be evil while Michael was the “good guy” who “deserved” Jane (and there’s a bad implication there that even though both characters are white, most of fandom didn’t realize Rafael wasn’t a man of color until recently, and that Michael was literally portrayed and shown as Jane’s “white knight” in the narrative). 

Maggie from Supergirl. I tried really hard but I just couldn’t, and I’m going to be honest I think it’s most likely just because I was both really starting to dislike Supergirl and also because I was majorly annoyed at the whole Fl*riana Lima situation, and while I tried not to let it affect how I saw the character, I usually couldn’t look at Maggie after a while without feeling vaguely annoyed - so that’s honestly much less about the writing and me not being able to separate character from actor in that case to be completely completely honest

Trish from JJ. IDK if the show cares if we like her but the fandom adores her and I’m just….eh. I didn’t care about her in the first season (I disliked that she tried going with Jessica even though it was something that made Jessica vulnerable, and that fandom consistently pushed Trish up and would bash Luke) and in the second season she just got much worse to me. I’m not watching s3 unless JJ comes back on Disney plus but from what I’ve heard, I’m not going to like her there either. And I don’t think any of it is OOC from the Trish we’ve seen in the show tbh. I hated her more with each episode, but each progression seemed natural (for the show they’ve written, not what the comic counterpart is because I can’t speak to that at all) 

Dany from GOT. Unlike with Trish, even though I started hating Dany from like….season 5 onwards (although by s4 I was starting to get kind of annoyed) I am still on the crowd that she (like most characters) was written massively poorly in season 8. I think it could have been a natural progression for her to have been a mad queen, but the show rushed it and made a huge jump that her character shouldn’t have made with the story that they wrote. That being said, her being a mad queen didn’t surprise me and while I still love book Dany, show Dany was a huge white savior and watching almost every POC die for her story while she was touted as a feminist icon was………………………eh 

Kurt from Glee ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god I hated him. He was a massive hypocrite most of the time (I mean everyone was but he really grinded my gears) and after like 2 seasons he always seemed to act like he was better than everyone. Honestly insert him, Rachel (half the time), and Will in here and I like…did not like them 

put “top 5” anything in my ask and i will answer

[softhaos]

SWIMMER!MINGYU

pairing – kim mingyu x reader genre – fluff + coach!reader + highschool!au author’s note – this was originally supposed to be a normally written oneshot but it never came out the way i wanted it to be so yeah here’s the bulleted version and it came out nicer!! enjoy!!

it’s safe to say that your high school swim team is one top tier swim team

you’ve won many championships in the past

and some of the past swimmers were skilled enough to snatch scholarships from top tier colleges

one even made it abroad and that says a lot

you’re lucky enough to be the current assisting coach for the swim team

okay truth be told the current swim captain – choi seungcheol – begged you to coach them because he knows you’ve got some experience

he was really desperate okay

because like,,,,,,

he literally begged you every day in the first two weeks after the new semester started

and he nearly went on his KNEES in front of the entire SCHOOL

yes,,, that’s how desperate he was

so you said yes before he actually went on his knees

none of the swimmers can deny that you know your stuff and know how to help them improve

but you’re also known for being strict af and if the swimmers value their wellbeing, they won’t talk back to you

it’s lowkey amusing seeing how you are feared of to a certain extent

but you’re only putting out that front so the swimmers will move their asses,,, well,,,,, seungcheol said himself everyone wanted to improve and needed your help

and you’re satisfied with almost everyone

keyword: almost

because there’s kim mingyu

you don’t have anything against him,,,, he’s a really nice guy,,,, but the thing is

instead of swimming his goddamn laps

he’s busy flirting with jung chaeyeon

not that you have anything against chaeyeon as she is your friend and you could care less about any of their love lives

it’s just,,,,,, mingyu should be swimming his laps!!!!!

yes he is a prodigy (somewhat) and is already naturally quick given his long ass arms and legs (those proportions should be illegal)

but that doesn’t excuse him from tRAINING FFS

he even said himself he wants to get a scholarship so you put in even more effort for his sake

because you’re positive he will stand a chance but only if he prACTICES

and so you always gotta pull mingyu back to the pool

and he’d whine around saying “just five more minutes please!!”

five minutes my aSS that’s what he said fifteen minutes ago too

in the end he’d swim the laps diligently

but lately,,,,, lately it seems as if he doesn’t really care

maybe ‘not care’ is the wrong term but he has other things in his mind too

and it’s quite obvious judging how he gets out of the water as soon as he’s done and rushes back to chaeyeon who shows up to practice regularly to cheer the swimmers on along with some others

(you still can’t believe the swim team has a fan club for the love of god–)

you don’t mind if some take off five minutes to talk to them but mingyu apparently has a different understanding of five minutes only

this guy is really testing your patience

he isn’t the only one you have to keep an eye on so you really can’t be his personal babysitter and see that he stays in the water 

and with the competition coming up in a few months

you really have no other solution except forcing him to stay after hours

which you do

so when seungcheol calls it a day

and everyone’s about to go change

you hold mingyu back

“mingyu, you’re doing extra laps.”

“what?”

“you want that scholarship? you gotta earn it. eight laps freestyle, now.”

tbh you’re expecting him to complain but ? he’s ? not ? complaining ?

sure, he’s baffled at first but then he nods and swims his laps??

and while he smiles whenever you’re pointing out some things just like usual, he goes on full serious mode when he’s swimming???

why is he a changed man all of sudden

besides the regular training four times a week you force him to stay behind after every time

and when you’re feeling stricter as usual you make him come on weekends too

but mingyu has never complained

all he does is smile and agree and follow your instructions,,, which surprises you pleasantly

however,,, you notice that he talks much much  m u c h  longer with chaeyeon during regular training

and you’re like ??? he does know that you only take your time to beat his ass in the evening because he does pretty much nothing during normal hours, right ???

but you’ve got every right to be confused and mad because you’re literally using your free time to play his personal trainer because he can’t get his crap together 

or he isn’t as serious as when it’s just you two in the hall

anyway, you’re pissed at him and everyone can see it

seungcheol can see it

chaeyeon can see it

hell, even the fan club notices your grudge

but not mingyu, this oblivious little shi–

“you really don’t have to go out of your way to train mingyu after hours, y’know,” seungcheol tells you while you’re busy timing junhui (who by the way, upped his game when it comes to butterfly)

“he’s half assing regular practice but not after hours which confuses me, but i don’t really mind staying late here.” you shrug and give jun a thumbs up after checking his time.

“that brat, i swear to god–“

“cheol, i can and will kick his ass myself so don’t do anything stupid!!!!”

you even have a little talk with chaeyeon

though you’re the one who initiate it,,,, you swear you don’t mean to pry

because you  d o n ‘ t  care

but some things need to be said you figure

“i’d really appreciate it if you and mingyu wouldn’t talk so much during practice, y’know? look, he’s got the best chances grabbing one of those scholarships but if he doesn’t get a grip, he can kiss them goodbye.”

“y/n, don’t worry, we’re not together and of course! i’ll make sure to keep an eye on the clock the next time!!”

and with that she sends you a wink and you’re like wait what

you never implied to know anything but okay?

a n y w a y s

bless chaeyeon for keeping her word

she still comes to practice but ignores mingyu every time he tries to start a convo with her

it’s a hilarious sight ngl

even seungcheol is cackling sjkhd

once mingyu gets it,,,,, he stops bugging chaeyeon and swims his laps

nonetheless he still insists on staying behind to practice more,,, and you don’t mind helping him out

in fact,,,,, it’s a lot of fun with just the two of you in the pool,,,, no it’s him in the pool and you’re observing from the sidelines

he really has nice shoulders

now here’s the tea

it’s become your thing to stay behind and do this one on one training

ofc you stay serious but can’t help but break into laughter every time mingyu hits his head against the wall when he’s swimming backstroke

fun aside tho

fast forward to the day of the competition

seems like all hard work was worth it

he got the gold medal in freestyle

and several offers from prestige colleges

even after the competition you continue your post-sessions

and while he’s playing around in the water you ask him

“so,,,,, already decided which college you’re gonna attend?”

he looks up at you with his adorable usual grin that you find so endearing

“yeah I already decided,,,,, I rejected them all!”

wait what

w h a t

“ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND KIM MINGYU WHAT THE ACTUAL–”

“I’m going to your college,,,, wouldn’t want to give up the best coach for any college”

that shuts you up,,,, you stare at him in disbelief and when the words finally sicker

“if this is a joke,,,”

“chaeyeon told me you’d find stuff like this romantic,, just forget what I said then” he suddenly mutters 

and you finally get why he’s been pestering chaeyeon for a while

now that you think about it,,, wasn’t chaeyeon the one who implied he should get extra hours of practice?

“,,,, well,,,,, she isn’t exactly wrong,,,,”

and suddenly he’s overly happy and grins at you and you finally notice that fond expression in his eyes

“does that mean I can ask you out?? and you’re not mad at all??”

“fyi, i’d always say yes to you but that doesn’t change the fact that i’m mAD YOU WASTED MY FREE TIME THE ENTIRE YEAR”

“,,,,, but I can make it up with a really great date?”

that makes you chuckle and you playfully smack his forehead

“swim the laps first and then we can talk about it”

fun fact: the date exceeded your expectation,,, mingyu really knows how to cook his food