#(im getting better every day)
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin“; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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Happy 20 years to the Imperishable Night
#Touhou#Touhou Project#Imperishable Night#Get ready for all the character tags#Eirin Yagokoro#Kaguya Houraisan#Fujiwara no Mokou#Reisen Udongein Inaba#Tewi Inaba#Keine Kamishirasawa#Mystia Lorelei#Wriggle Nightbug#Reimu Hakurei#Marisa Kirisame#Sakuya Izayoi#Youmu Konpaku#Yukari Yakumo#Alice Margatroid#Remilia Scarlet#Yuyuko Saigyouji#(and Ran Yakumo and Chen but theyre barely visible lol)#Just a day late for the anniversary day damn it...#I started on this a bit over two weeks ago#And worked on it almost every day#Though i've had the idea of the composition of this piece for a long time#Specifically Reimu and Marisa in the middle facing off against eachother#And then the hourai immortals at the top with Eirin in the middle and Kaguya and Mokou on either side#I am slightly sorry to Mystia and Wriggle cause i kinda forgot about them and just threw them in where there was room#But yeah i worked real hard on this and even though i have regrets about how i went about it and i think it couldve been better#im just proud i finished it at all
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good news : i might try to draw some more again this month bad news? : its mostly from trying to 10+ years later join the Equestria Daily NATG so its really just gonna be horses. might not share it all
also as mentioned this is drawn after the very very good picture from this post
#shevr#my lines#dont get too attached to it my plan for all this is to do cardboard paintings and to every paint over the previous day's one#and in that also i hope this quality of picture is satisfying to y'all bc im not sure i can do better#and the original will be gone so ! eh well#on a diff note the Nyegh! is a very specific reference to the most recent stream from australian comedian tom walker.#it is funny to mostly me and some other idiots#ahahahahah anyway yeayyyyy yayyye i hope i'll also manage to kickstart some more general drawing energy over that month !#if i manage it yanno !!#we'll see !!! hope you can enjoys horses in the meantime ! nyegh !
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the mighty nein - critical role
this is a place where i don't feel alone. this is a place where i feel at home.
#also with softer vibes. i offer They#every silly little brainheart found family deserves a to build a home edit#the mighty nein maybe most of all. thats my family#also the lyrics deliciously well suited to m9.#when jester pulls that. stupid tarot card for fjord. home or traveler. and there's a carnival wagon. and veth says Thats Us! . them#i just think about . the tower is their home the xhorhouse is their home the lavish chateau is their home the balleater. the mistake.#the nein heroez. veth and yezas apartment. the dome. fjord and jesters living room floor.#a bar with a silly name on rumblecusp#also like. the song has stone and dust imagery. gardens and trees.#the inherent temporality of life and love and how that holds no bearing on how greatly people can love. im losin it okay.#ive been making this edit for days straight with my computer screaming at me for trying to shove 143 episodes of cr into a 2min20sec video.#crying becuase. theyre a family do you get it. they were nine lonely people and most of them had given up on seeing their own lives#as something that might be good. something that might make the world a better place. and in the end they're heroes.#and it doesn't matter if no one else knows because They know they're heroes. and they wouldn't've believed that was true when they met.#rattling the bars of my enclosure. to be loved is to be changed#posted on twitter and want to get in the habit of posting here too bc.#general reasons but also bc . i have noticed some of the ppl liking/sharing it are also ppl who shit on my ops by vaguing about my posts#which is in general whatever but does leave a funny taste in my mouth.#critical role#the mighty nein#cr2#caleb widogast#caduceus clay#jester lavorre#fjord#veth brenatto#yasha nydoorin#beauregard lionett#mollymauk tealeaf#my posts
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soap's whole deal being sniper and demolitions gets me going bc on the surface they sound so different but when you get into it, you realise it's bc soap's smart
sniping is all math; calculating distances and wind interference and bullet drop. something i think people overlook is he was listed as a sniper first so it can be implied that he's better at it than demolitions. he does more sniping in both campaigns than demolitions work; in capture or kill, ghost specifically calls on him to take down the aq snipers
and demolitions is math with a hit of chemistry; knowing what mixes with what, knowing how much to use, recognising environmental factors and adjusting accordingly. it's not just about the boom; so much work goes into contained/ planned explosions. especially when having enough power for a breacher charge and not bringing down the whole building is the difference between mission success and failure
the chemical bombs he makes in alone can't just be any old cleaners, they have to have the correct reaction to each other; he just knew off the top of his head what would mix with what to create what reaction. he would also potentially have to recognise them by sight/smell bc they would’ve been written in spanish
soap would also have to know architecture; recognising structural integrity and weak points so he knows exactly where to plant a charge to bring it down and how it'll come down
he has an incredible soldier's mind people just forget that bc he's sociable which itself is a skill
we know he tends to buck against orders he doesn't agree with like when he pushes back against ghost in capture or kill and shepherd when he tells them to release hassan
he gets closer to people and sees if he can trust them and that's when he follows them without question. really think about how he talks to alejandro and rudy; he asks about their home and alejandro's family and rudy's relationship with him. those aren't questions you ask a stranger after a few hours of knowing them. that's not even touching on his relationship with ghost
he also deliberately brings people of higher ranks down to his level; talking informally with ghost and giving him a shoulder punch, addressing alejandro (a colonel!!) by his first name and rudy by his nickname despite literally just meeting them. he personalises all of them and it’s in direct opposition to the reason most characters do that; it’s not due to insubordination or lack of respect, the more he respects and trusts someone, the more casual he is with them
he digs into people; he wants to know what makes them tick and that determines if he can one, trust them and two, follow their orders. once he decides that, he's the ultimate soldier; he bleeds loyalty which makes him vicious when that loyalty is taken for granted
he isn't naive or bubbly or insecure; he's an incredibly smart and aware soldier. he's aggressive and bloodthirsty and loyal and intuitive and i love him so much
#i cant believe i never posted the soap meta that got me twitter famous™️💅#as with damn near every piece of characterisation in this franchise soaps is only apparent in subtext and connecting tiny little dots#it is very easy to just pick up his surface personality and think thats all he is#but soaps not a sunshine character#hes not super friendly or bright#hes just willing to talk to people and hes paired up with ghost who never wants to start a conversation#every time i see soap presented as this bubbly airhead thats super sweet and just blows stuff up i lose a year off my life#and i dont blame people for getting this vibe from him but im begging you to look a lil deeper#this isnt getting into his anger or the fact that he is a soldier which automatically makes him a wee bit fucked up#like he is hyperviolent and takes joy in it#we all know ghosts snuff film joke but soaps the one who responds positively to it#he returns the joke and only calls him out on it when he says he wont watch it more than once and even then its teasing not grossed out#and if we take the ‘he tried to join the military at 16’ factoid from 09 as current canon then he very easily could have a rough home life#no one tries to repeatedly join the military early without having some kind of problems#soap knows his worth and his abilities you dont get to be as good and specialised as he is without being completely sure of yourself#we know ghost has an ego but soap constantly butts up against it with his own affirmations#‘you wanna be better than me johnny’ ‘maybe i already am/i will be’ ‘a little helps not so bad eh lt’#being a sniper makes me hate the ‘cant sit still’ hc hes literally an sas sniper he wouldnt be complaining after a few hours of overwatch#i like the adhd hc and maybe he fidgets in his day to day life but the second hes at work hes At Work#tldr soap could be just as complex a character as ghost if cod would stop treating their campaigns as an afterthought and actually commit#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#talk meta to me#john soap mactavish#soap cod#cod mw2#soapghost#save post#call of duty modern warfare#cod meta
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The idea of demi-asexual ghost having sex w/ soap before they have an established relationship, where neither is sure if the other shares their romantic feelings, if this is a one off, fwb, or the start of something bigger…
Simon, lying awake, unable to sleep, holding Johnny as he snores. Still somehow in denial, trying to talk himself out of being demi ace. Because if he is, that means that he wants more out of this than Soap does. He’d only be setting himself up for heartbreak.
Trying to convince himself that he was wrong when in his late teens he felt a little less broken after finding the term. Because to be sexually attracted to Johnny meant that he liked him. That he wanted the something more. But the other made it clear from the start that this wasn’t a romantic thing, that it was purely physical/sexual attraction and nothing more. And Simon never experienced that without there being something more there.
It wasn’t fair. Not for Johnny. He had made his boundaries clear, and Simon was practically spitting on them. To have agreed to what was meant to be just one night together because he hoped it would turn into more felt like a gross betrayal of Soap’s trust. And Simon knew that if Johnny found out, he’d be disgusted. And rightfully so. Simon had no right to take advantage of his trust
Anyways that’s all head empty no thots just Simon having his uh oh moment cause they banged
(spoiler: soap never said it was only physical/sexual, ghost is just stupid)
#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghoap#soap x ghost#im sorry i write ghost the same way every time i just cant see him w/o crippling imposter syndrome :(#one of these days ill have to get better at characterization just dont count on it#queue#discount bin thots
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My comic is so pretty...
The hiatus is letting me take a little extra time on these episodes, and I'm definitely putting it to good use!!!
#almost done with my 8th episode... which will give me. two weeks. of buffer...#id really like at LEAST a month... but to be more comfortable id like two#which means 2-6 more episodes before I come back!#I've got about 7 weeks so its possible. but i do still have to finish book 4#so much to do ..........#I decided for my next comic im doing 3 updates a month.#having 10 days instead of 7 to make an episode is such a huge huge huge difference...#difference in quality and in my health!#anyways the comic is really pretty im really happy with the work im doing rn#the environments especially. im getting to spend a nice amount of time on them and theyre turning out so nicely#its nice to be able to write with a lot of different environments and not have to redo panels when I get to them cause of time#cause every time theres a wild angle? you need a new background...#so sometimes. often actually. there just isnt the time to make the backgrounds for those and i have to make them more flat...#which is fine. it doesnt really affect anything narratively. but. idk. it's kinda sad right?#anyways yeah! 10 days will be much better.#36 episodes a year is about what ive been uploading with my hiatuses on the weekly schedule anyways!#so might as well cut out that super stressful middleman and just commit to that#52 a year is just such a huge difference and i have to accept its not possible to me#i will hurt myself trying to do that. and i want to make comics my whole life!#so i cant push myself that hard now and sacrifice my future. we're gonna go slower after this...#anyways yeah cant wait to come back but also time. if I could get an extra week like a secret one just for me#where theres no chores no nothin just me and my work#thatd be great! so go ahead and do what you gotta do to give me a little pocket dimension#me: ugh i want to return right now...#the more logical me: NO we need the time to finish everything!!!!!! NOT right now!!!!#time and time again#ttawebcomic#comic panels#hiatus stuff#adam and steve
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I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life and. I just feel like crying over that fact. a few years ago I was sure I’d be an anxious miserable wreck for my entire life but now I wake up and I love the world and I promise one day you will too. please keep going please hold the world tight. you will giggle at something silly with a stranger. a staff member at a place you frequent will smile when they see you. an elderly person will look at you gratefully for helping them. you’ll cry about stupid stuff and laugh about it later. you’ll drink cold water during a hot day and it will be the best sensation ever. being alive is the best thing I’ve ever experienced.
#WWWAAUUUGGHGH#IM VERY EMOTIONAL. I love living I love the earth I love my friends so much#it was. so bad a few years ago#panic attacks every other day. miserable most of the time. unhealthy habits. every day felt like a bad day#but then I managed to get out of an awful situation. and I made an effort to try and love the place I live now as WELL as being homesick *#* for my home country. and I fought to notice the little things. and I went outside even when I haaated the idea of it#and now???? I’m still disabled. I still have anxiety. I’m not yet back in my home country#but my god I’m so happy in life. it does get better. everyone was right#even though I experience severe chronic pain on the daily. even though I live somewhere noisy and hot and crowded.#life is silly that way :3 I promise it gets better. it’s so cliche and it never sounds true but it is. it is#hopepunk
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eternally grateful that no matter the verse within cherik either one of them will always have long lushish hair the other can lovingly comb through
#xmen#xmen 92#xmen 97#xmen apocalypse#xmen dofp#cherik#professor x#charles xavier#magneto#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#snap chats#if i had a nickel for every ship i liked that included a bald bitch and his long-haired lover id have two nickels and im crying#anyway its simply important to me.. i just think its neat yk ....#no concrete throughts i just really like the idea of charles combing through magnus' hair 😔#never getting over my initial reaction to his 97 hair like girlfriend it is so voluminous#charles better than me wdym youre not gonna fold like an omelette after seeing that mane#movieverse is just as good too ofc ... how could it not be .....#im thinking too much i must stop before i throw open google docs#i have to take a train in like eight years and that means waking up in six hours vjVALKEJ good night everyone#thank you for once again joining me in my nightly cherik rambling as i slowly lose my mind day by day
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Trying to listen to podcast to calm down to sleep -> loud as fuck ad. Trying to check something quick from a youtube tutorial -> first gotta watch 2x 30 second unskippable ads. Trying to go to a website -> 2 popups and an ad video automatically start to play. Trying to listen to the radio while driving -> 7 minutes of uninterrupted ad time. Every single free app with those shitty game ads with the stupid annoying ass king. I’m tired !!! I never wanna buy anything ever again !!!!!!!
#watched youtube and skipped the ’’this video is sponsores by’’ only to get hit with 2 30sec unskippable ads and I just deleted the youtube#app from my phone with pure rage I’m fucking tired of ads everywhere all the good goddamn time#nYx PLuMpIng GLoss pLumP yOurSeLf Up BabY go fucking die#(also im tired so im unreasonably mad at every minor thing rn but like this has been the sentiment for months)#(should’ve gone for that walk I was thinking abt would’ve been much calmer)#(bc now rage deleted all the ''fun''' apps from my phone it's now just the essentials in there (tho did keep podcasts & Spotify bc those I#refuse to give up) like idk this better stick I want phone screen time of 1-2h per day)#april 2024#2024
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Chain of Pronouns
A Partial Re-Translation Patch for Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories (GBA)
Kingdom Hearts is a tricky series, where the details really matter. As such, it’s a shame that some interesting elements of Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories did not make it into the official English release (and, from what I know, none of the other language versions). So here we are!
So What’s Changed?
The most important changes in this patch are, as you might’ve guessed from the title, pronoun related.
There is a section of the game, from the beginning of Twilight Town to a certain point in Destiny Islands, where Sora (and the NPCs in Destiny Islands) inexplicably change what pronouns are used to refer to Naminé. The official English release does not convey this element at all despite how much emphasis the game puts on this aspect, and thus loses any potentially significant implications of it.
As there’s no perfect English equivalent for あいつ aitsu, (a very informal/rough pronoun that is technically gender-neutral but leans toward masculine connotations, and is a strange way for Sora to refer to Naminé or Kairi), there are two versions of the patch.
“they” version. This is the one I recommend , as I believe it best conveys the intended experience; where there is a noticeably strange shift in language, but in such as way as to be fairly easy to write off as unimportant to the casual player.
“he” version. This one tosses all subtlety and ambiguity out the window and feels less natural, but conveys the masculine possibilities of the original that the other version can’t. Pick it if you’re feeling very daring.
Then, in the final stretch of the game, jp Naminé uses gender neutral terms in a way that seems potentially relevant, due to the pronouns situation stated in the previous section, and she is talking about two distinct people in her final conversation w/Sora, not just one. Both elements were lost in the official release.
Other Changes
Tweaked some word choice/phrasing for dialogue to more clearly convey repeated motifs (if you’re familiar with the jp terms used, 大切な / に taisetsuna/ni is generally denoted with “precious,” and 大切な人 taisetsuna hito with “dear”) as well as references to other parts of the game (primarily between Hollow Bastion and the floor 6+7 interludes)
They don’t call Sora the Keyblade master anymore, as this was sort of an impossible to predict localization misstep with the original release. (How were they supposed to know that jp script would start using the English phrase "Keyblade Master" as a distinct concept like 10 years later?) I did this just for fun.
This project was primarily built upon the contents of the essay “‘That Person’ How a Pronoun Revealed the Heart of a Story”, and would not exist without it. Read it after you finish the game (or before, if you want), it’s fantastic work.
Special thanks to this gba khcom quote generator and this transcript (both of which saved me SO much time and effort) as well as all my friends, whose excitement and input were invaluable.
Don’t want to actually play the game? Once I’ve settled on a final version, I’ll be putting up a cutscene compilation (for both versions) on youtube.
#kingdom hearts#kingdom hearts chain of memories#chain of memories#i haven't posted much in the past month#and that's cause i've been busy... with this!#the title was a joke but i couldn't come up with anything better so. here we are#yeah i'll make one for pc re:com at some point. but not right now. i've worked on this every day for a month im tired haha#anyways pleaseeeee play it with meeeee#if you do i'll love you forever#if you've never tried gba com before this is a great opportunity.... the gameplay is much easier to get a hang of compared to recom#that combat system was designed for a small 2d space and you can TELL#it's not technically#soriku#but it is relevant to their interests#video
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what gets me re: kevin with jean is that kevin is seriously the worst. like we see in-text specifically that kevin used to lean into jean’s space to whisper to him and it seems it was common enough to him that he didn’t think much of it (he did it once for asking jean to teach him french then again to make jean promise not to off himself), he said horrible things like ‘it could be our secret’ and ‘i don’t want to lose you’, he wrote jean memories and notes in postcards, he bought jean silly little magnets, even up to the point of tsc canon he was cradling jean’s face and gently touching his hand. so flirty! no wonder jean was down so horribly. no wonder nora sakavic said kevin was always the problem child
#hhey stop kevin stop stop giving me a reason to live if you dont like me back im serious#i know it wasnt on purpose and that only makes it worse to me like he wasnt trying at all#he wasnt actively making an effort to get jean to fall for him. that’s sick and twisted#hes so earnest 😭 ‘you’re worth it’ ‘every night’ ‘i don’t want to lose you’ LOOKING ASS#kevin’s girlish and vulnerable heart mon dieu#its sick its seriously sick#jean didnt stand a chance. literal hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby ship dynamic#unstoppable force vs VERY moveable object#cat and bird locked in a cage together ship dynamic#could any of us truly say that we would react better or more wisely if kevin day treated us like his highschool girlfriend#txt#kevjean
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Kiss Her You Fool
#rarity#applejack#aj#rarijack#mlp#mlp fanart#my little pony#my little pony friendship is magic#mlp fim#mlp g4#mlp g4 fanart#mlp humanized#humanized#fanart#my art#art#wlw#horse yuri#it took me a while to get it done cause i managed to get sick#and also managed to have some after work plans on every single day#so yeah#im getting better slowly but fuck i feel awful#applejack x rarity#rarity x applejack
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thinking about what we lost when megatron stopped turning into a gun. like if you were made to be a weapon only aimed by other people would you not crave bodily autonomy. if you were made to be a show of force would you not find it hard to resist what you are. if you were made to be a pistol would you not miss being held.
#t#tf#megatron#every single time i see any continuity’s origin im like damn megatron IS right.#and ehhh like tankformers still get the ‘built as a means of destruction’ thing but theres something we really lost with him not being a#handheld pistol anymore#if you were built with a silencer would you not want to take up space as an act of resistance#and like. what if the gun who relied on other people to be useful still was someone who wrote poetry. who dreamed of a better world.#of a world where nobody needed to build guns like him.#and tankformer megatron ISNT THE SAME. I MISS GUN MEGATRONNNNN. but hes still right no matter what. teehee#oh and btw. ive been specifically thinking about gun megatron lately bc i said to myself. what if earthspark megatron’s cybertronian alt was#a gun like the old days. they dont have to show it. and then i thought about prowl holding gun megatron and its like.#i bet that would feel really nice to him….#choosing to believe in mass displacement for all continuities <3
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a day in the life of clementine: 1. working, 2. watching her precious baby, 3. getting simultaneously cyberbullied and told jokes...yeah
previous // next
imagine getting cyberbullied by your (kind of) exes roommate??? its okay cece out here cheering her up with dad jokes
#lovestruck with clementine#*clementine darling#*anthony darling#cecelia hughes by zleepyhollow#ts4#ts4 gameplay#sims 4#sims 4 gameplay#sims 4 lovestruck#simblr#carmen is getting on my last NERVE#she does this EVERY DAY#she better watch out is all im saying#and then theres the angel cece <3
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I’m not the hot young g/t protagonist. I’m the jaded elderly tiny village leader who staunchly forbids all the villagers to ever interact with giants and people think it’s for safety or because I’m a huge grouch but it’s actually because years ago I had my heart broken in a whirlwind romance with a tall dashing giant and now I can’t bear to see any of my people go through that pain. Also we still all live in my giant ex’s backyard and sabotage his garden yearly. Fuck that guy.
#g/t#giant tiny#FUCK. EXS. SORRY IM HAVING. A BAD DAY.#i should get paid $1000000 every time i have to text my ex about some stupid shit he should know better abt
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