#(i learned recently that she probably has [mental illness i also have] based on comments she makes that dont stand out to non sick people)

[fitzrove]

😵‍💫

[veronicaleighauthor]

“Queen Charlotte”: A Review

::there may be spoilers::

 Description:

We are one crown. His weight is mine, and mine is his…”

In 1761, on a sunny day in September, a King and Queen met for the very first time. They were married within hours.

Born a German Princess, Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz was beautiful, headstrong, and fiercely intelligent… not precisely the attributes the British Court had been seeking in a spouse for the young King George III. But her fire and independence were exactly what she needed, because George had secrets… secrets with the potential to shake the very foundations of the monarchy.

Thrust into her new role as a royal, Charlotte must learn to navigate the intricate politics of the court… all the while guarding her heart, because she is falling in love with the King, even as he pushes her away. Above all she must learn to rule, and to understand that she has been given the power to remake society. She must fight—for herself, for her husband, and for all her new subjects who look to her for guidance and grace. For she will never be just Charlotte again. She must instead fulfill her destiny… as Queen.

Author Bio:

#1 New York Times bestselling author JULIA QUINN began writing one month after graduating from college and, aside from a brief stint in medical school, she has been tapping away at her keyboard ever since. Her novels have been translated into 43 languages and are beloved the world over. A graduate of Harvard and Radcliffe Colleges, she lives with her family in the Pacific Northwest. 

Look for BRIDGERTON, based on her popular series of novels about the Bridgerton family, on Netflix.

 My Thoughts:

I recently won a copy of “Queen Charlotte,” from a Goodreads Giveaway, in return I’m giving an honest review. This book is a tv series tie-in; I haven’t watched the series (I haven’t watched any of the Bridgerton Series, though I have read five of the books) so I can’t comment on it. I can only offer my thoughts and feelings on the novel. Another thing I want to point out, and the author pointed this out too, this book is a work of fiction loosely inspired by a true story. Also, the whole Bridgerton Series – books and show – are a kind of fairytale au of the Regency era. The same could probably be said about “Queen Charlotte.”

Now, with all that in mind – the work of fiction inspired by a true story and the fairytale au of the era – I was able to go into it with an open mind. I only knew two things about King George III – that he was the king during the American Revolution and that during his reign, he went mad and his son ruled in place of him. I knew nothing of Queen Charlotte.

We’re introduced to both George and Charlotte on their wedding day; it’s an arranged marriage and they don’t meet until right before ceremony. They have a meet cute, sparks fly, and though there are challenges, you have a feeling of how it’s going to play out. But I was okay with that, the whole story worked for me as a romance. It’s a bodice ripper, so if you prefer clean fiction, or a faithful depiction of King George III and Queen Charlotte’s lives, this might not be for you.

I loved the king and queen’s relationship. They have chemistry, they complemented one another, and they truly lived out the vows they made. In this novel and in the Bridgerton universe, Queen Charlotte is a woman of color. It’s debated whether the historical figure was or not. From the portraits that exist of the queen, she could have been (I personally think she was). History is often whitewashed. King George III’s mental illness is depicted and it is heart wrenching to read how the mentally ill were viewed and treated. The treatments given in that era were basically torture. The novel doesn’t lie – true love doesn’t cure mental illness. The best that could be done in the 18th and 19th centuries is offer unconditional love and understanding. I think that’s what I liked best about “Queen Charlotte.” It doesn’t sugarcoat; it shows how an 18th century couple might cope with an arranged marriage, racism, and mental illness.

If you like the Bridgerton books or the tv series, you’ll probably like “Queen Charlotte.” I, for one, preferred this book to the others I read.

[calacuspr]

Calacus Weekly Hit & Miss – Simone Biles & Rassie Erasmus

Every Monday we look at the best and worst communicators in the sports world from the previous week.

HIT – SIMONE BILES

Simone Biles has been the superstar of gymnastics - if not female sport - since she burst into global consciousness by winning four gold medals at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games.

With 19 world championship gold medals as well to her name at the tender age of 24, expectations were high at Tokyo 2020.

Not content with leading the world in gymnastics, Biles showed remarkable strength from one so young by putting her mental health ahead of the attention and anticipation of her performances at this year’s Olympic Games.

After pulling out of the women's gymnastics team final. Biles explained: “I have to focus on my mental health. I just think mental health is more prevalent in sports right now.

"We have to protect our minds and our bodies and not just go out and do what the world wants us to do.

"I don't trust myself as much anymore. Maybe it's getting older. There were a couple of days when everybody tweets you and you feel the weight of the world.

"We're not just athletes. We're people at the end of the day and sometimes you just have to step back.”

The Olympic Games may be one of the biggest stages in world sport, but Biles showed remarkable poise to withdraw given her unofficial role as the symbol of Team USA.

It is further proof, if proof were needed, that sports stars now feel empowered to stand up, not only for social justice but also for themselves, as we saw with Naomi Osaka withdrawing from the French Open in much the same way earlier this year.

Michael Phelps, himself an Olympic phenomenon, defended Biles after previously revealing his own struggles with depression. He said: “This is an opportunity for all of us to really learn more about mental health, to all help each other out.

"For me, I want people to be able to have somebody that can support them, who’s non-judgmental and who’s willing to hold space. There’s a lot that we can do to help one another and we have to start. We can’t brush it under the rug anymore.”

Biles, remember, has spoken out about the sexual abuse she and many others faced at the hands of the former U.S.A. Gymnastics doctor Lawrence G. Nassar and the devastating effect it has had on her life.

She has also spoken out about racism, which she has encountered in life and in gymnastics competition; She said: “It happens every day, and I feel like every Black athlete or colored athlete can say that they've experienced it through their career.”

Biles has had to watch as her brother Tevin Biles-Thomas was accused and then recently acquitted of 15 charges including murder related to an incident three years ago.

The gymnast later withdrew from the final individual all-round competition, with USA Gymnastics stating: “We wholeheartedly support Simone’s decision and applaud her bravery in prioritizing her well-being. Her courage shows, yet again, why she is a role model for so many.”

There have been accusations that she let down her team by walking away, that she displayed an appetite for ‘losing, quitting and failure’ rather than seeing the bigger picture of fighting through adversity.

American conservative activist Charlie Kirk was also quick to criticise, saying: "We are raising a generation of weak people like Simone Biles. If she's got all these mental health problems: don't show up."

“She's probably the greatest gymnast of all time. She's also very selfish, she's immature and she's a shame to the country."

Those opinions were echoed by other right-wing activists and yet US newspapers such as USA Today called Biles’ decision “important” and a “powerful message.”

The New York Times lauded the 24-year-old for putting her “mental health first and the expectations of others, at best, second” and after Biles spoke about the mental exhaustion endemic to being the best, the Washington Post asked, “What are we doing, breaking our athletes?”

Mental health organisations such as The Rethink Mental Illness charity praised Biles and said: “Everyone needs to prioritise their mental health, even the best athletes in the world.

“Simone Biles’s decision to withdraw from an Olympics final will not have been taken lightly, and it’s great to see the support she received from her teammates.”

Mind also congratulated Biles on her bravery and posted on Twitter: “Working in elite sports like gymnastics comes with unimaginably high levels of pressure, perfectionism, scrutiny, and comparison. Simone Biles is incredibly brave for speaking out, and highlighting the importance of looking after your mental heath.

“Simone is a role model for women and girls everywhere. She deserves our applause, respect, appreciation – and above all our support right now.”

MISS – RASSIE ERASMUS

Rugby union prides itself on respect and one of the most fundamental aspects of game is based on how referees are treated.

It’s common law within the sport that players and coaches accept refereeing judgments without abusive disagreement but in recent times, the game has been caught up in controversy due to reactions over refereeing decisions.

During the 2021 British and Irish Lions and South Africa test series, South Africa head coach Rassie Erasmus has taken the disrespect of officials to a whole new level, as he openly criticised the officiating of the first test match between the two sides.

In an hour-long video, Erasmus let out his fury towards Australian referee Nick Berry in which he analysed 26 clips from the game of incidents which he believed were blatant mistakes.

In the video, he said: "It's comical the respect the [officials] showed towards the South African players compared to the Lions players.

"Let the Springboks and the Lions have an equal chance on the field when it comes to laws, respect, the way players are treated, what is said in the coaches' pre-match meeting with the referees, how they give feedback post-match and how things are said in the media.

"When Siya [Kolisi] spoke to the referee and when Alun Wyn [Jones] spoke to the referee, I just felt the reactions on how they treated both those players, there was a vast difference between who he was taking serious and who he wasn't taking serious."

Erasmus ends the video by saying that he recorded the video “in my personal capacity, and not as part of the Springboks”, even offering to quit his position for the remainder of the series.

But when you’re the head coach of the world champions in any sport, let alone rugby union, recording a video criticising a referee is entirely inappropriate.

Despite his claims that neither Nick Berry nor World Rugby provided feedback on the officiating during the first test, Erasmus raised his complaints in a totally unprofessional manner.

In response to the video, Rugby Australia defended Nick Berry and deemed the comments from Erasmus as "unacceptable", while World Rugby reacted by saying they would be taking up the matter with the South African Rugby Union.

Erasmus has never been afraid to speak out, but his comments towards referees has cast a shadow over the already disrupted Lions Tour in South Africa.

In the week running up to the first test, Erasmus refused to disassociate himself from a burner Twitter account named “Jaco Johan”, which carries video clips of controversial refereeing incidents for the previous games of the tour.

“When something makes sense to me I like to retweet it,” Erasmus said. “If you do analyse the things that he is supposed to see, then you are actually spot on with the integrity of the game.”

It’s also not the first time that the Springbok head coach has been caught up in controversy regarding the officiating in rugby.

Back in 2019, the then New Zealand head coach Steve Hansen accused Erasmus of trying to pressure referees into preferential treatment towards his team, after the South Africa boss suggested that the All Blacks had for years received soft officiating during matches.

Debate surrounding refereeing decisions has been a constant theme of the Lions series, with the tourists also raising concerns regarding the appointment of a South African television match official in the first game.

With South Africa going on to claim victory in the second Test, Erasmus could claim that his mind games paid off, especially considering several decisions went the Springboks' way.

Regardless, raising concerns about refereeing in rugby should be done in a respectful manner and in that regard, Erasmus missed the mark completely during the 2021 Lions tour.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: [a phone number]

Ronnie: found you your own special plug

Joe: Can’t wait to get gang-raped by whoever this is

Joe: or maybe it’s a phishing scam, what route have you gone down 🤔

Ronnie: route of she can be your number 8 cos youre such a bike

Joe: it’s that kind of hook-up

Ronnie: pay for the gear if you cant get it up soft lad she looks fuck all like your ma

Ronnie: couldnt track down no more of her bastards for you soz

Joe: taking your role that seriously?

Joe: alright

Ronnie: getting out of it

Ronnie: she can babysit you

Joe: she probably lost custody of her own so

Joe: nice of you on all fronts

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: what, your dealer don’t like me or something

Ronnie: how the fuck would i know like

Ronnie: and how would he you legged it out of there soon as he showed

Joe: no shit I did

Ronnie: ordeals over now baby go cry to your new mammy about it

Joe: unlikely

Joe: but it ain’t my ordeal so

Ronnie: they ll swab & treat him he ll be sound

Joe: give a shit about him

Ronnie: if youve got something to say

Joe: I just said it

Joe: I don’t care about him

Ronnie: you dont care about me fuck off with your heroics

Joe: you didn’t want swooping up and saving, don’t mean I don’t give a fuck

Ronnie: your student loan aint gonna cover both our habits youd have me dopesick cause youre fucking jealous that means you dont

Joe: you’re jealous

Joe: and I said, didn’t stop you, didn’t say you had to

Joe: what’s fun about something oozing and itching in your pants, that’s all

Ronnie: of what

Joe: of every boring ex I have or will ever have

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: get em in a room together and they aint even jealous of each other

Joe: I know

Joe: x2

Ronnie: you dont know shit mckenna

Joe: so today I’m green

Joe: not the know-it-all smug college kid

Joe: nice to know how to play it

Ronnie: smug is right whenever i aint gonna suck your dick cause you can read music

Joe: that’s all that’s stopping you?

Ronnie: nah remember its the death wish attention whoring & mommy issues

Ronnie: cant both be functioning junkies youd have fuck all else to get a boner about

Joe: how long have you been doing heroin

Ronnie: youve got loads of catching up to do

Joe: yeah, so I don’t know why you’re acting like I’m being high and mighty

Joe: it’s literally been days

Ronnie: cause you are

Joe: no I’m not, just ‘cos I’d rather not suck dick when I have the funds

Joe: would you do it if you had the cash, that’s just stupid

Ronnie: youve been comparing me to any & every cunt since we met

Joe: like you don’t shit on me any and every chance you get

Joe: you were acting like them, the whole none of my shit is real because yours is SO real, that’s her whole bit

Ronnie: you cant stop fucking doing it even now fucks sake

Ronnie: i shit on you for you its not like i have any cunt to compare you to

Joe: alright, if you’re that sensitive about it

Joe: I’ll really stop

Joe: there 🤐

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: nah, that was a dick move, alright

Joe: let me make it up to you

Ronnie: youre crying shes a patronising cunt guess what youre right there too

Joe: alright, I deserve that

Ronnie: drop dead

Ronnie: yeah its been days days of me giving you whatever the fuck you ask for

Joe: I know

Joe: so what do you want, seriously

Joe: I’ll do it, make it happen, whatever

Ronnie: like fuck can you make anything happen

Ronnie: youre like every other doss cunt i know theres your comparison

Joe: Probably am

Joe: but you’re the only person I’ve met who feels close to whatever the fuck I am

Joe: there’s the truth

Ronnie: whichever of your exes that worked on is more west than either of us

Joe: Oh I can easily be that dickhead and tell you how crazy they all were

Ronnie: go ed

Joe: the second to last one was the worst

Joe: full-on stalked and harassed the last one like, for no reason

Joe: she also messed with all my shit in a way she thought would send me into an OCD spiral because she didn’t get it

Joe: and when she started hooking up with some other kid she’d send me pics like I’d be 💔

Joe: that’s just after, that was all kind of amusing in a boring way, she was less amusing to be with but more mental

Ronnie: shouldve had some tips off her for the stalking bullshit its probably not too late to send her a dm

Ronnie: ones ive got from this is i dont have to bother learning the alphabet cos id be better off fucking with your record collection by smashing it up & child porn does fuck all for you

Joe: that is my thing, turning up uninvited to fuck everything up

Joe: she might go for it

Joe: exactly, both good to know, yeah 😏

Joe: all pretty basic and vanilla but still, annoying as shit

Ronnie: unless you can get me to do it for you yeah

Ronnie: dinners at what like 7

Joe: you’re gonna ruin my happy uni home?

Joe: oh no

Joe: be there be 7, eating at 8, apparently

Joe: time to ‘mingle’ as she put it which sounds suspicious af

Ronnie: fucking hell

Ronnie: thank christ i already hate you

Joe: saves times, energy less so

Joe: your mate is up for it, unless he’s a convincing liar, which I could see

Ronnie: what energy do you want name it theres gear thatll give us it

Ronnie: he is but i cant see the con shes got fuck all any cunt wants other than pasta shapes & mariahs likely on a diet

Joe: 🤤 and not over her appetizers, like

Joe: there’ll only be the 6 of us so we’ll need entertainment

Ronnie: lad flatmates bringing a bitch

Ronnie: shes gonna need something to get her through it or something she can use to end it

Joe: yeah he has a missus

Joe: even though him and Sophie belong together as the most average whitebread couple ever

Ronnie: make it happen then

Joe: where’s my bow and arrow

Joe: their 💘 ain’t my problem

Ronnie: you said you could do whatever and we needed entertainment

Ronnie: put all that money where your mouth is

Joe: you’re well sweet

Joe: you want her to be living her best life

Joe: dunno if I can hack being his shoulder to cry on in the interim

Ronnie: your teeth wont have time to rot before you choke on em talking to me like that

Joe: go on then

Ronnie: you owe me i dont owe you

Joe: I thought you’d ask for something better

Joe: but your loss

Ronnie: yours youre thinking about it

Joe: I get it, you want it to be hell living here

Ronnie: i dont wanna have to ask

Joe: for what

Ronnie: anything

Joe: why not

Ronnie: you think you can read my mind or some shit

Joe: I’d like to

Joe: and I think you get me, and yeah, I think I get you more than the bullshit mommy issues attention whore comment that was to get a reaction

Joe: I don’t think we’re twin flames just because we share some DNA, I’m not that kind of delusional, believe it or not

Ronnie: cause weve shared a needle though yeah

Joe: I get it, another kid with a habit, you’ve met hundreds

Joe: it is different though

Joe: tell me it isn’t

Ronnie: different cos its a habit you didnt have days ago

Joe: it’s not your fault

Joe: for good or bad

Joe: you didn’t spike me without asking

Ronnie: i didnt say that

Ronnie: i said thats why its different

Joe: yeah

Ronnie: nobody did any of this shit for me i dont know why im doing it for you

Joe: do you want to, or do you think you need to

Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter

Joe: you either fuck with me, you like fucking with me or you think you’ve got to protect me or some bollocks

Ronnie: protect you from the needle i stuck in your arm yeah that makes loads of sense

Joe: from getting a bad dose, being beat up by one of your dealers

Ronnie: i just wanted a front row seat

Ronnie: im not gonna get one when your family finds out

Joe: that’s fine by me

Joe: you reckon they’ll fly me home for an intervention then?

Joe: shouldn’t be surprising how oblivious they are

Ronnie: i dont care what they do to try & fix it youll be at rock bottom by then

Joe: they won’t try, they don’t

Joe: just because I weren’t shooting up doesn’t mean I haven’t been doing plenty other fucked shit for ages without it ever being a conversation

Joe: one of the kids that they took in, is a walking skeleton

Joe: can’t get her to eat, some reason don’t do anything but try to reason with her like she’s reasonable, never mind the rest

Ronnie: no shit they dont i was proof of it before you or her

Ronnie: in the same town with the same name she fucking gave me and still out of sight out of mind

Joe: precisely

Joe: so if you’re hoping fucking me up will get her to come about then you shouldn’t bother, honestly

Joe: save yourself that disappointment

Ronnie: it aint about her paying attention

Joe: good

Ronnie: you wanna know me i only want you to know what it feels like

Joe: then let’s do it

Ronnie: nah i was rem to reckon it was worth shit

Ronnie: it aint

Ronnie: you aint

Ronnie: youre never gonna have your head wrecked how mine is and i cant be arsed to put the time in fucking you up in the selfish special way i need when you keep pure loving it like

Joe: is that not indicative of how I’m already quite fucked enough

Joe: just because it’s not abandonment based

Joe: what normal cunt would love any of this, even contact you again after the first

Ronnie: fuck no

Ronnie: youre living your best life and it makes me wanna hang myself

Joe: Christ, you’re up yourself, aren’t you

Ronnie: &

Joe: you want me to roll my sleeves up again and show you the recent damage?

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: [pics]

Ronnie: [obvs gotta send him some back]

Joe: [a straight up new one like just did it]

Ronnie: [ofc she has to also like this is a competition]

Joe: [hope you started small so you have somewhere to go ‘cos the vibe]

Ronnie: [knowing y’all you didn’t but it won’t stop you and I will be forever on edge]

Joe: [so grim, don’t pass out]

Ronnie: [or end up needing stitches]

Joe: [probably do them yourselves, ick]

Joe: do you fucking get it yet

Ronnie: why do you care

Joe: why do you think

Ronnie: i keep telling you i dont

Joe: braindead sounds ideal

Ronnie: horse girl not about to suffocate you

Joe: she would if I let her, like

Joe: 🍈🍈

Ronnie: wait til theres a chance ill choke on my vomit next time christ

Joe: so lay back and I’ll tell you some more

Ronnie: ok go

Joe: [go on about Sophie in a way I shall not even bother but let us assume it is crude and rude af]

Ronnie: [we’re not into poor Soph but they clearly are]

Joe: [just fuck and get it out the way lads, so rude to everyone else rn]

Ronnie: [honestly, but hopefully at this dinner party because Jamie jealousy will be off the charts]

Joe: [Charlie gon have to keep quiet ‘til you home lmao]

Joe: Any luck?

Ronnie: got no pasta shapes in my system have i

Ronnie: but why the fuck are you not lurking to save me

Joe: you want me to swallow the bile for you then, okay

Joe: the last one looked deep

Ronnie: deep enough if you wanna pussy out and spit instead

Joe: I don’t

Joe: where are you

Ronnie: dorothys

Joe: he in?

Joe: if I have to show him it’s brotherly concern you’ll only die quicker

Ronnie: nosey cunt wouldve stopped me

Joe: Yeah

Joe: I can say sorry if you want or I can just come patch you up and not lie first

Ronnie: i dont need your help

Joe: I know

Joe: purely wanna save you for my own complex and to be loving life even harder

Ronnie: wank off about the sos from the other day thats it i cant top you carrying me out til the bleeding stops

Joe: I’m coming over

Joe: you’ve got time to lock the door if you really don’t want me to come in

Joe: can get my own shattered glass without breaking his windows

Ronnie: he must like you to have given you his address

Ronnie: but not enough to overshare the door dont lock cos i broke it 💔

Joe: or am I better stalker than you give credit

Joe: thanks for the tip, baby

Ronnie: youd have been waiting for me to get here not the other way round

Joe: You do want me to read your mind

Joe: maybe a lobotomy will help

Ronnie: hot

Ronnie: reading your mind you want me to pass out before you fuck me but its not that deep

Joe: the wound or the vIbEzzZ

Ronnie: this your coming out cos you sound like charlie

Joe: just trying to turn you off, don’t want blood to gush out

Ronnie: liar youd be made up to see that

Joe: not hiding in the bushes yet

Joe: slow down

Ronnie: youre used to being the big brother i get it

Joe: Something like that

Ronnie: i know how to ride a bike without stabilisers or whatever the fuck

Joe: and tie your shoes

Joe: it’s alright, we’ve established I’m not a paedo

Joe: what can’t you do then

Ronnie: err what a nonce would say

Ronnie: read music we also fucking established

Joe: you teach me how to shoot myself up, I’ll teach you how to

Ronnie: not a fair swap i dont need to learn how

Joe: You don’t wanna be a babysitter either, so you’ve said

Ronnie: you dont like me any more or what

Joe: Of course I do

Joe: You got me my own dealer first

Ronnie: you asked me to 1st

Joe: How did I?

Ronnie: what else is ? for a plug without giving a fuck if ive rattled myself into a ditch

Joe: If I talked to you as much as I felt like

Joe: You’d tell me to fuck off more than you already do

Joe: I’ve got no clue where the line is, how much you want me to care

Ronnie: what line

Ronnie: i dont want you to care

Joe: Tough shit

Joe: I didn’t ask you to get me a dealer

Ronnie: you fucking did

Joe: I just didn’t wanna see you suck dick on my behalf, alright, that’s all

Joe: what you do for yourself is your business

Ronnie: calm down nothing i do is for you

Joe: 👌

Ronnie: dont call her then

Joe: you on commission?

Ronnie: 🖕

Joe: If I do, you’ll still have to see me

Ronnie: youll see me bleed out on the kitchen floor 1st

Joe: You’re a pro, I know you’re being overly-dramatic

Ronnie: at opening as many veins as itll take to not have to see you again yeah

Joe: to make me hurry*

Joe: I’m on the tube

Joe: you have to live in the middle of nowhere

Ronnie: no fixed address i told you

Joe: ❗️

Joe: if there’s a break-up or a thruple, you can have the extra room

Joe: makes sense now

Ronnie: it dont make sense you reckon we can afford any extras however far out

Joe: like you said, she’ll get homesick and chuck it in even if Marc won’t dump his girlfriend

Ronnie: if she does youll be homeless too like unless his missus is gonna cover the costs of the en suite for you

Joe: you can have my room, it’s the smallest

Joe: they can have the en-suite palace and I’ll take theirs, which is not next to the others 👌

Ronnie: not that youve thought loads about it

Joe: if you heard her disney playlist everyday, you’d think about it as well

Ronnie: id think about killing her or myself not a cosy little bed swap

Ronnie: shed never hack living with me nor would you

Joe: well that thought is never far from the front of my mind

Joe: if you need the bed, you know it’s yours

Ronnie: get it through your head i need fuck all from you

Joe: yeah, yeah

Ronnie: theres this way of living when youre not inside your ma in every possible sense course you aint heard about it

Joe: you need to prove you’re self-sufficient ‘cos no one’s ever given a shit about you but Charlie and the other one

Joe: I’m aware you’ve made it to your old age without me, you’re alright

Ronnie: i need to be it the only proofs im not dead yet baby

Ronnie: you need me to be old cos im not in a fucking coma & you cant get it up else

Joe: I’d rather be in the coma myself but you can be too

Joe: not calling dibs

Ronnie: oldest gets 1st dibs

Joe: *until the youngest cries about it so much you get told to give in to shut ‘em up

Ronnie: try me

Joe: you know you can’t hack my crying

Joe: does your head in SO much

Ronnie: save it for when you need lube or horse girl is gonna be coming after you with the leftover glue so you can never fucking leave her

Joe: come at you with the needle and sew us together, babe

Joe: unlucky

Ronnie: more than unlucky if i cant bust a stitch open to be the dead girl you want

Joe: you’re the dead girl I want already come on

Ronnie: til i teach you how to 💉 yourself

Joe: nah

Ronnie: 💘

Joe: looking well deformed these days, my one

Ronnie: could cut it out know youd be made up for the matching needlework

Joe: you play mad professor I’ll play corpse

Ronnie: long as i dont have to play nice

Joe: know what you take me for, actually, but no

Joe: obviously not

Ronnie: cant take you anywhere even if i did wanna

Joe: god imagine the dent in your street cred, sis

Ronnie: if i could cry i obviously would

Joe: repression or fucked tear ducts from all the 😭 you been doing

Ronnie: what im that baby faced youre taking me for a newborn now

Joe: nah, mr i don’t fuck kids here, remember

Joe: plus kids are always calling 999 by mistake and they’d get there before me

Joe: maybe, depends how many people have stabbed other people today

Ronnie: id have got the numbers up but ive been busy like

Joe: gotta make time for you, babes

Joe: it’s called self-care

Ronnie: ask me what with

Ronnie: shittest stalker ever you are

Joe: go on

Joe: school us

Ronnie: cant cry cos when i was linking you with a plug you dont want i was getting myself linked with your meds

Ronnie: best guess as a better stalker than you & less basic white girl than your crazy ex

Joe: 💡 fairplay

Joe: won’t tell you any other side-affects, see if you can guess ‘em right

Ronnie: i wasnt gonna take em but you want me to get you so bad

Joe: yeah misunderstood white boy is selling less these days

Joe: help a brother out

Ronnie: fuck all has happened so i probably cant

Joe: 💔 oh well

Joe: they’re nothing exciting, even though I managed to get the highest dosage they’ll do

Ronnie: maybe mines off for not giving you the benefit of the doubt when i could continue reckoning youre such a pussy

Joe: you’ll forget by tomorrow, no problem

Ronnie: neither brother is gonna let me if they walk in on me microdosing theyll reckon its a getting well party and get the deccies out

Joe: only so many times you can just kidding that ‘fore it gets old

Joe: we’ll go out, when I get there

Ronnie: where you kidnapping me to baby

Joe: I know enough to know it’s all wrong turns and blindfolds, not giving you a map

Ronnie: if its a&e no cunts finding your body even with a map

Joe: piss off

Ronnie: give us a clue

Joe: I’ll mark it with an X if you do me

Ronnie: if you ever fucking get here

Joe: if we were sewn together this wouldn’t be a problem

Ronnie: wanting to look like twins so nobodyll give a shit that you wanna fuck me would be something youd think about on the tube mckenna

Joe: they run in my old man’s DNA so have to look for those bastards instead

Joe: all I know about hers is addiction

Ronnie: course he does fuck alls your own idea

Ronnie: if hes got a sister even a meff nancy drew like youll be able to find bastards they had together

Joe: loads, Catholic, remember

Joe: twins kid is black though so process of elimination

Ronnie: cute how that runs in your family too like

Joe: guess so

Joe: not like it’s that crazy a concept

Ronnie: not like youve ever met an irish catholic who werent a saint yeah

Joe: it’s a fucked place to live

Joe: really third world in that respect

Ronnie: your real da is who you wanna look for if hes got no bastards going about its cos he cant knock anyone up

Joe: that your all men are pigs stance

Joe: alright courtney calm down

Joe: I’m out now anyway, don’t need a real mum or dad to come rescue us from the priests and that

Ronnie: nah its a fact unless his twin kept going up the backstreet or he was only sticking it in her other 2 holes

Joe: they didn’t really grow up together

Joe: he left when he was 15

Joe: maybe she was a late bloomer, happy days

Ronnie: 💔 your ma wasn’t then i wouldnt be here

Joe: no dig about how you’re dying now anyway ‘cos I’m taking so long?

Joe: you must be fading fast and not just being a dramatic bitch

Joe: good thing I’m in [wherever we ended up locating y’all] now

Ronnie: shut up i said its not that deep

Ronnie: youre the dramatic bitch legging it here for a fucking scratch

Joe: you wanted me to

Ronnie: you want to i dont give a shit

Joe: right, that’s what I meant

Ronnie: you can stop with the gay shit i told you hes not here

Joe: gays don’t own sarcasm

Ronnie: they own getting attached to cunts fast who dont care

Joe: awh, you being replaced rn?

Ronnie: horse girl wishes

Joe: Can’t catch a break or a man that one

Ronnie: after a pity fuck with you who knows what shed catch

Joe: you wanna infect her by-proxy, you’re so blatant

Ronnie: i shouldve got you to bring her my bloods everywhere

Joe: adding her puke to the mix would make it interesting, sure

Joe: bet she knows first aid

Ronnie: if youre too pussy to break my ribs yourself get back on the tube

Joe: threaten me with a good time

Ronnie: i just did

Joe: without meaning it, yeah

Ronnie: try and hurt me i mean it

Joe: [why do y’all always set the tension so high lads lmao, we know but]

Ronnie: [me and my boo here like calm down you can’t hook up yet but they are both like !!!!]

Joe: [shouldn’t have let you get on that train sir but you would so]

Ronnie: [I shouldn’t let her open her mouth ever but here we are]

Joe: [forreal lmao]

Ronnie: [gotta draw an x on him in her blood when he shows up before we can do a more permanent one however we are either as a scar or tattoo so soz for increasing the tension even more lol]

Joe: [just got to stare at her for ages and then shove her away very dramatically ‘cos you can’t, head through to whichever room she was bleeding in to assess/gawp at]

Ronnie: [she’s gotta lol like well if that’s the best you can do at trying to hurt me I’m not worried]

Joe: [‘whaddya use?’ and just going through this flat as if you’ve been here before/were invited by anyone but Ronnie vaguely because manners can’t matter when we’ve gone this far already]

Ronnie: ['what, you didn't

touch yourself enough on the tube?' but we are obvs showing him whatever we did use because it's just another way to flirt and we can use it to make that x happen so]

Joe: [shakes head ‘spill too much and they emergency stop’ and a look like do I look like I wanna be on a psychward but in a 😏 don’t answer that way, doing our own tallies with it, of course]

Ronnie: ['we're walking then' like where are you taking me don't get comfy bitch]

Joe: [little disbelieving lol like excuse me princess ‘your carriage was unavailable’

Ronnie: ['no shit the horse is dead busy']

Joe: [‘I ain’t taking you to a stable’]

Ronnie: ['that's where we ain't going, now tell me where the fuck we are' because we're like an excited kid about this]

Joe: [it’s cute and we clearly think so even if we’re distracting ourselves with this self-harm so we don’t go too far, unrelated but I haven’t thought where yous are going lmao but I’m vibing something London but something she wouldn’t have done, something music related, also if it has like, kid vibes, bonus, I’ll have to look so just keeping tight-lipped to be annoying and surveying the bloody carnage he’s now added to ‘you want to clean up?’]

Ronnie: [it'd be cute if there was something like thinktank but for music instead of science but idk if that exists anyways in answer to that question she's just gonna remove her top or whatever like yeah it do have blood on even though we know that's not what he means because we're still in a flirty mood despite how annoying his non reply is]

Joe: [that’s what I’m vibing but likewise have no idea, I’m sure there is shit though and you could find it Joseph, anyway, truly the this is fine meme about that ‘cos you can’t turn away 😳 but also boy don’t, moving like you’re gonna come close to her though]

Ronnie: [soz Charlie cos she shamelessly threw her top on the floor and isn't gonna clean up any of this blood even on herself like I literally should say she goes to the sink and then to get clean clothes but instead we all know she's just gonna take Joe's jacket or whatever and put that on, thank god he's all about the layers]

Joe: [god bless the grunge

aesthetic, ‘do you do it in front of him?’ and touching the cuts that are still showing ‘cos you know there’s some still, and it is like when and where do you do this when you do not have a room lmao]

Ronnie: ['yeah' leaving it up to him whether he wants to think it's in an attention whore way cos we're still annoyed at that call out lol but realistically it's just because of how long they've known each other and how they be living, she's not actively trying to upset Charlie that much most of the time]

Joe: [‘does he do it?’ ‘cos we can’t imagine it from the little we know but also can’t imagine him just chilling if he isn’t as fucked as them]

Ronnie: [the facial expression equivalent of his amused lol earlier because no]

Joe: [dropping it even though you find this odd like don’t worry boy, the tea is he is getting over it and wanting her to stop, pulling the jacket sleeve to take her out the door like come on]

Ronnie: ['he knows what'll happen if he tries to stop me' cos you can't tell me that when they were younger he didn't do exactly that and she went ballistic but more importantly HOW DARE YOU BOO because that is 1000% a Fraze move and I'm dead]

Joe: [yes I thought it was legit for a parallel, enjoy the long trip back to central guys]

Ronnie: [idk how we are gonna stop you hooking up to fill the time other than the other people in close proximity lol]

Joe: [maybe a uni/work obligation can come in and he has to go like legit ‘cos that’d kill this off]

Ronnie: [personally devastated that means an iou for this cute date but I love how fuming she would be at never finding out where they were going]

Ronnie: [not to mention the not at all casual and public domestic they’d have would be such a fat mood and show she cares when she’s literally like umm what the fuck do you mean you’re leaving]

Joe: [love how blatant we both are individually]

Ronnie: [hard same]

Joe: They sprung that rehearsal on us last minute

Joe: I already said, I’d give you the funds and you could go do whatever

Ronnie: and i told you to go fuck yourself

Ronnie: or your cello

Joe: I wouldn’t have wasted my time let alone yours if I knew that was gonna happen

Joe: how would you go about fucking a cello, exactly

Ronnie: waste more of your own time figuring it out its your raging hard on for it

Joe: I can’t not go

Joe: they make you sign a bloodoath when you get in basically

Joe: no excuses

Ronnie: youd have found an excuse fast enough if id stuck a needle in your arm

Joe: no, I wouldn’t, ‘cos it wasn’t an option

Joe: there was already enough damage to hide

Ronnie: i dont give a shit what options youve got

Joe: right, tell it to the crowd that amassed, they might believe you a tiny bit more than I do

Joe: I’ll make it up to you, okay

Ronnie: thats what soft cunts wanna hear when you cant hide no more & since you reckon you wont be getting forced into treatment you get to keep your gob shut for all that being sorry bullshit

Joe: make it into something it ain’t ‘cos you can’t hack hearing it

Ronnie: i dont wanna hear from you end of

Joe: alright

Joe: see you around then

Ronnie: 🖕

[lightninginabottle0613]

some post-ttlr reflections 🚌💛

typing this from beyond the grave, as you all have killed me/are continuing to kill me with your sweet comments on this epilogue. what are you all doing, why are you all perfect angels. why was my “””epilogue””” the longest goddamn chapter of this story. i have so many questions and not a single answer.

if you are at all interested in some deeply personal ramblings and feelings (tw: depression and mental health and all of that), those are below the cut. i was honestly just looking for a place to dump them all, so i could properly process this whole experience that completely turned my life upside down in a matter of months. but if i learned anything from writing this story, it’s that maybe some people can relate to what i’m feeling! so they’re there - if that’s something that floats your boat.

if not (and you will not offend me, seriously, it’s long lol), then please please please just know one thing - i love every single person who read this story. i can’t believe it’s over and i’m going to miss the fuck out of it, but i’m so happy that i could write something worthy of consumption for a fandom/pairing that is so close to my heart. i sort of felt the whole time like i wished i had waited until it was finished to start posting, instead of updating after i was done each chapter, but looking back - i’m so glad i didn’t. this story was so heavy in so many ways, and every comment and private message made me want to keep writing. so much about this felt like a shared experience and a collaborative effort, even as the author, so i just want to say thank you to anyone who showed it even the slightest amount of attention. i can’t wait to keep writing both for and among such incredible people.

(also, i would be remiss if i didn’t say a special thank u/i love u to @yanak324 and @harrenhollaback. for the emotional support and for gifting me with friendships i never expected when i joined this community. i owe you both more than i can say.)

ok hey! i’ll get right to it - 2019 was the worst year of my life, and i very nearly didn’t survive it.

i’ve struggled with depression for about ten years, to varying degrees. it runs deep in my family, in pretty much every person on my mother’s side, and i didn’t learn that until about four years into my own mental health journey. my entire life, a lot was expected of me - not a super uncommon thing for an eldest child, i think. but as a result of a lot of repression from other people in my family of their own mental illnesses, i was confused by a lot of the heaviness i was feeling, and i thought i needed to handle it the same way, because that was the only example i had.

a lot of my progress was stunted after that, but i did start trying to make some changes when i turned 18. even so, i was doing a lot of the work on my own and in silence, and i still made a lot of decisions based on what i thought i should do, instead of giving myself the space and time to figure out what i actually wanted to do. i think my main focus for so long was just on not feeling sad anymore - because i was still so in the dark about the complexities of depression, and i had no idea how much work it actually takes to undo a lifetime of destructive behaviors and negative thought patterns.

my life was pretty nonstop from 18-24. for six years i dealt with one crisis after another. i was forced to react to all of them in real time, but i wasn’t able to thoroughly process any of them, and it wasn’t until may of 2019 that i realized just how brutal and damaging that pace was. that month was the first time that my life was even remotely calm for the first time in six years, and once my mind had a second to breathe, i realized just how numb it was.

i really, really did not want to be here anymore. i was so far down in the pit (something i’ve been calling it for about five years), that i could barely breathe. i can remember one specific saturday that month where i sat on the floor of my apartment for three hours in silence and didn’t eat a single thing until 6:00 that night. even now as i type this, i’m curbing the urge to call myself dramatic (ha), but i don’t know how else to describe it - other than saying that i quite literally could not function.

as suuuuper dumb and cheesy as this probably sounds, this was all concurrent with the last season of game of thrones and my subsequent discovery of the character of arya (i hadn’t consumed any asoiaf content prior to last year). i was so fascinated by her - i know so many arguments can be made that show!arya was not really her by the end of it, but trust and believe that i have read everything about book!arya that i can get my hands on. i had never seen so much of myself in a character before - both book and show - and i found such a comfort in watching her navigate childhood and deal with trauma and learn how to be vulnerable.

i couldn’t tell you the first fic i found or even how i stumbled across ao3 to begin with. but i can tell you that - not unlike probably anyone reading this, lol - i think i tore through like five stories a day for the entire summer. you know that post that’s like ‘all i did this summer was read fanfiction and cry’ ? hello. LITrully all i did. reading so many different authors’ takes on a character that i connected with so deeply and how she leaned into love/grew from pain/strengthened her convictions was a catharsis i’d never experienced before.

i had a massive upheaval in my personal life toward the end of august that resulted in my living out of a hotel room for five days, and one of those days i blinked and had 6K words of a gendrya fic written. it contained zero of the angst and pain i was feeling, and i still have no idea which deep recess of my brain it came from. it was light and silly, and i had no intention to continue beyond that, honestly. and then the literal first comment i ever got was from someone that said ‘please don’t let this be a one-shot,’ and i suddenly realized i was doing something so harmful (something that’s been a habit of mine for so, so long, but one that fic-writing has forced me to break) - i had found something that i genuinely enjoyed, but i was talking myself out of pursuing it, because my own insecurities were telling me it wouldn’t be worth it.

ttlr was supposed to be similarly light. i’d seen a post on a really long prompt list that was written by someone whose parents actually met in the same way that gendry and arya meet in the story, and i thought it was hilarious and serendipitous and perfect for their canon storyline, which is very much a pseudo-road trip in a way. i wanted arya to have struggles with depression and self-worth, because that’s true to my interpretation of her character, and i knew i wanted to sort of explore her conflicts with catelyn as a bit of a side plot, but nothing could have prepared me for how heavy the story became. the basic gendrya plot remained the same, but the rest of the story strayed so far from the outline i planned out, in the best way.

i really hate to call it self-insertion, because i think that sort of cheapens the messages i started to try to send with each chapter, but almost every non-gendrya detail in the story is something that’s happened to me. 99% of arya’s conversation with catelyn in chapter 10 came from verbatim text messages between my mom and me, that i had to scroll back to in order to reference. i struggled so much with how to characterize ned, because i think he’s sort of difficult to get right since a lot of his canon characterization is learned through memories that other people have of him, but in this story, he is my dad. all of arya’s introspections and bad habits are mine, her conversations with her therapist are mine (adapted accordingly), and her attitude toward romantic love is mine. i do my best to keep a journal, but writing this story all but replaced that for me, for months.

so EVEN AS i slowly started to adjust to what this story was turning into for me personally, absolutely nothing could have prepared me for how it resonated with other people. depression is like a tailored suit. on the outside, it looks like any other suit for any other person, and it has a lot of the same surface-level features. but beyond that, it preys on your specific insecurities and traumas, and no one person’s experience is exactly the same as someone else’s - obviously, because no two people are exactly the same. so when i started getting comments and messages from people saying they felt seen and understood, and that my depiction of mental illness was like a punch in the gut/made them cry/was so true that it was at times hard to read, i knew that there was a reason that my brain wanted me to write this story, beyond my need for my own healing.

one of the best comments i got was from someone who said that in the future, if they ever met someone who said they didn’t understand depression, they were going to show them ttlr. i cried for like half an hour after i read that (like the choking, sobbing kind), because all i ever want to do is educate myself and other people on this really hard stuff, and make people feel like they have the right tools to be empathetic. i know that the story ended on a hopeful note - because there is always hope but it’s also a fiction story (and i would never write an un-hopeful ending for gendrya…miss me with that) - but i also really hoped to convey the idea that she still has work to do.

because i am so far from done, myself. i’m still living in the city i moved to when i thought that all i needed was physical space from my problems, and i’m finally (sort of) at a place where i can take the time i need to figure out where i’m meant to be next. i’m in my last semester of grad school, studying something that i recently learned i hate, because i picked it thinking it was the logical decision, and now it would be stupid to drop out. and i really did have that text conversation with my mother, but that was about nine months ago, and i currently haven’t spoken to her since new year’s day.

i’m also in therapy, and i’m slowly starting to reach back out to some of the people i love, who i’ve shut myself off from for the past eight months. i’m at a job that i kind of hate in a lot of ways, but it also allows me to have one-on-one time with people and help them develop, and that’s super fulfilling. and i have a real hobby now that i previously hadn’t done since before i was a teenager. that’s thanks in large part to arya, but it really comes down to this community of people.

i am fully aware that i’m on the younger side of the people in this fandom, and the last thing i want to do is come off as preachy. but while i have big plans to continue writing for these characters and treating them with the care they deserve, i also do really want to continue to be someone that can make people feel a little bit less alone (through the stories i tell, and beyond that). the entire journey of this story for me was a lesson in how to say what i feel in an unapologetic way, treat even the darkest and saddest parts of myself with the same amount of love that i do the happy parts, and hopefully create a space where people feel like they can do the same thing.

i read something once that said that a member of a family who actively chooses their own healing will go through a period where they become the enemy, because they’ve disrupted the family system. i don’t know that this is true all the time, but i think it’s a really eye-opening way to think about a lot of situations where people find themselves isolated even more for prioritizing their own recovery. it was certainly the case for me, anyway. again, i know that i’m young and i have a lot of life left to live, but (at the risk of sounding ….. dramatic) i have that life to live because i’m making that prioritization. if ttlr, and any other story i write, can serve as the reminder for at least one person that healing is a choice we make and a long road to travel - and based on the comments i’ve gotten, it sounds like it has - then there’s nothing more that i could ask for.

this story is my entire heart and soul. i worried every step of the way about whether i was doing justice to the characters, but i mostly just loved having an outlet for such tough stuff. i’m excited to write more, but i don’t know that anything will ever mean as much to me as this has. so thank you to every person that gave it the time of day (or night lol). writing it genuinely changed my life.

(also as an additional resource, i’m sharing this podcast interview with none other than the hero of winterfell herself. i watched this when it first came out, and i’ve watched it probably 50 times since. if you’ve made it this far in this post - first of all, omg. but also if anything i said struck a chord and you haven’t seen this, it’s a must-watch. she hits the nail on the head perfectly, and she puts so much into words that i was never able to before.)

my messages are always open. i am always free to talk about anything and everything mental health. if you’re struggling, just know that i’m with you and i love you. 💛

[ma9l]

Research Project: Instagram Use and Depression

It’s fascinating. Isn’t it fascinating? What our world has become? The world is so different now compared to even a couple hundred years ago. It has advanced--especially when it comes to technology and the internet. Think about it. Social media used to be non-existent. Now it is booming with billions of users. This is proof that people are entertained by these types of platforms. However, aside from all their pros, they also hold many faults. For example, a survey (#StatusOfMind survey) was published in 2017 by the Royal Society for Public Health. They discovered that “Out of five social networks included in the survey, YouTube received the highest marks for health and well being and was the only site that received a net positive score by respondents. Twitter came in second, followed by Facebook and then Snapchat—with Instagram bringing up the rear.” Basically, Instagram was ranked as the worst social media for mental health. Although some may believe that Instagram doesn’t pose any issues, depression and Instagram actually share correlations. I believe the way Instagram is used plays a role in one’s well being and that symptoms of depression can arise if users are not careful. The world has enough issues, mental health being one of the most serious with the increase in suicides over more recent years. If we determine whether or not social media (particularly Instagram) is a contributor to depression, we could potentially end the epidemic, or at least avoid making things worse.

In the past, I would normally go about my research by googling and trying to find reliable sources that way. Usually this would present decent info, but hardly ever would it be in-depth. When I took ENGL 1010 last year, I was informed that my school’s library had a website full of databases holding a plethora of scholarly articles. My mind was blown. It was a bit overwhelming at first, but as I became familiar with the tools and resources, I learned how to properly navigate and refine my searches to produce the results I was looking for. I didn’t use the databases as effectively as I could have, but this year in ENGL 2010, I was encouraged to and I learned a lot more about how to read and interpret the articles to find relevant information. I did this by closely studying the abstract, methods, and results sections. Google searches aren’t necessarily bad. In fact, they can be used to compare and contrast with scholarly articles in order to find similarities and differences. I have also been told to use outside sources like physical books and newspapers or to try and perform my own research by creating a survey or poll. Overall, I am pleased with my education in research and feel that it has been and will be very beneficial for assisting me in my writing.

Before doing any research, I had a preconceived idea that Instagram was bad, but the more I looked into it, the more my opinion shifted from believing Instagram itself is unhealthy to believing the users of Instagram are the ones creating unhealthy habits. I came to this conclusion by reading various articles in relation to this topic and assessing my personal Instagram use.

One of the articles I read was “Instagram: Friend or Foe”. It revolves around a study from 2017 where 204 participants ages 18-48 were recruited through social media where the study was advertised. They were asked to complete an online survey regardless of whether or not they had an Instagram account. Authors actually hoped some wouldn’t so they could compare results between users and nonusers. Throughout the survey, participants (users only) were measured on seven things: anxiety, depression, loneliness, self-esteem, body image, social comparison, and time spent on Instagram. Using number scales, they would rank how they felt based on each category. In short, the authors’ hypotheses were correct for all but two of these categories: body image and social comparison where there was no significant difference between users and nonusers of Instagram. What surprised me most from the results was that those who had an Instagram account were less depressed than those who did not. I thought it would be the opposite, but I guess a reason for this could be because Instagram allows you to feel included and not so lonely with all the social interaction that goes on. “Contrary to expectation, Instagram anxiety was significantly, negatively associated with depression in this analysis. In addition, time spent , self-esteem, and anxiety were significant predictors of depression. Of note, social comparison was marginally associated with depression in the expected direction”.

The article “Instagram #Instasad?: Exploring Associations Among Instagram Use, Depressive Symptoms, Negative Social Comparison, and Strangers Followed”, held a set of online questionnaires for 117 individuals ages 18-29 who, like the previous study, were also voluntarily recruited through an online post that was shared. The questions asked were based on Instagram use, the number of strangers followed, social comparison, and depressive symptoms. Authors sought to identify the relationship between the different aspects of Instagram use. After completing the questionnaire, the following results were observed:  the more one uses Instagram, the more depressed they are, but only if they follow a large number of strangers, otherwise Instagram and depression were not related. As far as social comparison goes, it was positively associated with greater instagram use meaning social comparison on Instagram is inevitable. Results demonstrated that the social comparison was more positive when users didn’t follow strangers. In conclusion, “people using Instagram or other SNS to keep in touch solely with people they know personally are not at risk for negative consequences. However, following strangers may lead to or reinforce already existing negative feelings about the self by triggering negative social comparisons.”

“Why Social Comparison on Instagram Matters: Its Impact on Depression” by Ha Sung Hwang is all about the relationship between various types of activities on social media that motivate one to participate in social comparisons and how those influence college students’ moods. It specifically focuses on Instagram for the social platform and depression for the mental illness which is exactly what I was looking for in my research. The study was carried out as 245 college students were surveyed on the types of activities they take part in on Instagram and how they felt in doing each of those. Instagram usage, activity, social comparison, and depression were individually measured. Demographics of the participants were also taken into account. The author seemed to be interested in the social comparison theory where there are three different kinds of comparisons: upward, downward, and horizontal. Upward is comparing yourself to someone who appears to be superior to you, downward is comparing yourself to someone who is inferior to you, and horizontal comparison is relating yourself to someone who is equal to you. The results presented three outcomes: “(1) looking at other people's status updates and commenting on other people's photos influences upward social comparison, (2) frequency of Instagram use predicts upward/downward/horizontal social comparison, and (3) upward social comparison was positively associated with depression, while downward social comparison was negatively associated with depression.”

One of the biggest similarities between these three sources is that the participants in each experiment were all college aged. That’s because according to “Instagram: Friend or Foe? The application’s association with psychological well-being”, “Approximately 90% of young adults use social media.” This is significant because you are college-aged and an adult, so these effects couldn’t apply to you more! Each article also agreed that users of Instagram deal with social comparison to some degree each time they interact with the app. Social comparison was measured in every case. The first article confirms that it took place-but they also expected that to happen. Many of us could probably assume the same. Article #2 concludes that social comparisons only have an effect on depression when you follow strangers. Now, because the author in article #3 performed a more specific measurement with her participants, she found that social comparison does contribute to depression, but only when it falls into the upward comparison category. A final similarity amongst these reports is support in the idea that the activities you do on Instagram will determine how depressed you become along with the amount of time you take part in them. Those activities combined include: looking at or commenting on other people’s photos and following strangers. The main difference in the studies was that they each took at least one more thing into account when analyzing what aspects of Instagram play a role in depressed moods. #1 compares users with non users. #2 wonders if gender makes a difference. #3 again, implements the social comparison theory. Limitations inevitably happened which could have hindered results, like how in the third article, the survey only took place at a Korean University. How would the results differ if UVU students took the survey? For the most part, the results were in sync. In summary, all the studies are on the same page when it comes to social comparison and activities on Instagram-believing that they tend to elevate depression. The authors also all realized that college students are most at risk for developing depressive symptoms due to their population’s heavy usage of the network.

I strongly believe that the way individuals use social media has an impact on how they feel. Instagram seems to be a culprit for influencing the rise of many negative feelings with depressive symptoms being some of many. Coincidentally, depression correlates with more frequent Instagram use which presents a predicament we ought to be concerned with because if we don’t pinpoint the epicenter of this relationship, it’s only going to get worse… and depression is going to become even more common than it already is. 

According to an NBC article, Harvard University and the University of Vermont designed a computer program for spotting depressed individuals on Instagram with 70% accuracy. It was programmed to search for certain qualities of their photos in order to determine if someone was depressed or not. “Researchers found depressed individuals posted photos that were bluer, darker and grayer than images posted by others.” (Pawlowski). This demonstrates Instagram being used as an outlet for expressing one’s emotions. Elyse Fox struggled with depression and found relief in sharing her state of mind through this outlet because it helped her get things out of her system. This represents Instagram as a helpful tool. Others might not do it for relief, but simply because they are at an all time low. That’s when it becomes unhealthy and when you would need to reach out to someone you trust for help.

“In several recent studies, teenage and young adult users who spend the most time on Instagram, Facebook and other platforms were shown to have a substantially (from 13 to 66 percent) higher rate of reported depression than those who spent the least time.” This is proof of the correlation taking place.

Some may claim that it’s social media’s fault that people are suffering from mental illnesses. More specifically, that it’s Instagram’s fault if someone that uses it gets depressed. They might say it has nothing to do with the users actions because all of the potential negatives are automatically accessible before them and say that whatever happens is directly caused by the app. The blame is put on a non-living, non-physical, inanimate thing. To our knowledge, Instagram itself is not capable of causing anything. Studies show a correlation, not a causation. However, “One reason the correlation seems more than coincidental is that an increase in depression occurred in tandem with the rise in smartphone use.” (Miller). “By 2015,... 92 percent of teens and young adults owned a smartphone. The rise in depressive symptoms correlates with smartphone adoption during that period.” (Miller). The author of this write-up also mentions that there was a rise in the number of college students visiting counselors for anxiety and depression. Just so you know, UVU has counseling services available on campus if you are seeking further assistance with your mental health. (Student Health Services |(801) 863-8876| Room SC-221).

What should we do about it? What can we do about it? Personally? As a student body? I think it is a very personal issue because everyone has their agency and freedom to do what they want and really, it is up to them to decide how they will spend their time on Instagram. But we can suggest tips for those who are seeking help or for those who don’t realize what’s affecting them and want to change.

In a Ted Talk by Bailey Parnell, she suggests four tips for obtaining social media wellness. These are presented in four steps: 1. Recognize the problem. 2. Audit your social media diet. 3. Create a better online experience. 4. Model good behavior. It’s all about our awareness. If we don’t realize something’s wrong, then we aren’t going to do anything about it. After that, we are able to make adjustments based on our unique needs. For example, we could spend less time on Instagram, unfollow strangers, or make our posts more real and sincere. I, personally, need to work on all of those because I notice a difference between when my time spent on Instagram has been a waste, leaving me drained vs when it’s been productive and I’ve come away feeling enlightened or pleased with my online experience. What I consider to be a waste of time is viewing my followers profiles and engaging in social comparison where I degrade myself and wish my life was like theirs. A more productive way to spend my time would be sharing an uplifting message on my story or reach out to friends I haven’t talked to in a while to see how they are doing.

The United Kingdom’s RSPH had the great idea of teaching safe social media use in schools. (Macmillan). Because of the prevalence of social media today, it needs to be acknowledged and taught proper use. I think all schools should provide a class solely dedicated to teaching social media safety and another for teaching about mental health awareness. Instagram and depression each fall into one of those categories, so it’s perfect. These classes could be held in middle schools, high schools, and colleges since most age groups use some form of social media. I feel like a lot of students would benefit from taking these courses.

Fellow friends (A.K.A. UVU students) if you have been guilty of spending too much time on Instagram, comparing yourself to others, or following celebrities/strangers you hardly know, it’s okay!! So have I. That doesn’t mean you are a bad person, it just means that you are human. Now that you know more about what types of interactions on Instagram can make you depressed, you can choose to be more proactive and reap the rewards of “social media wellness” and obtain the happiness that comes from practicing “safe social.”

To restate my stance one more time, I will just remind you that all the research I have done and knowledge I have gained has led me to believe that Instagram use and depression correlate. Depression isn’t caused by the app, rather depression results from using the app excessively or from comparing oneself to others. I strongly believe that we have a responsibility to monitor and reflect on our Instagram behaviors in order to decrease our chances of being at risk for depression. Making simple changes can alter your perspective on life and bring you more joy. Bailey Parnell says it best: “Is social media hurting your mental health? The answer is: it does not have to.”

Google Slides (in progress): https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1jJ-aIcZZW0qCJpfWv0-SGCyrAFu7O_eLq34oCXVNsBo/edit?usp=sharing

[theteablogger]

On part 5 of your timeline, in the 2012 section, you document Andy talking about how his sister is ruining Christmas for him. I'm unsure whether there actually is another child in the Player family, or if this is Andy still trying to maintain that Amy Player is a separate person. Can you please clarify? Thanks!

Andy really does have a sister, and in the past, he has told a variety of convoluted stories in order to pin his actions as Amy Player on her. As far as I know, however, he hasn’t done that since 2013 or 2014. At that time, he wasn’t just lying to people on the internet about it; he was telling his so-called best friends, who spent a great deal of time with him (and in some cases with his parents), that his sister was the Amy Player who’d done all those things in LotR fandom. He continued telling these lies even after one of his friends asked his mother about it and learned the truth.

Andy’s modus operandi at this point is to put on a show of “owning” what he did and working hard to get better one day at a time. Saying, “No, that was my sister,” wouldn’t fit with that image at all. Based on comments that his friends and former associates have made, I think what he does with new people now is to start by offering a very bare-bones account of his past that makes it sound like either meaningless wank, or a collection of entertaining anecdotes. It probably does not include much of what he did beyond the DAYDverse years. If people press for details, he twists what happened in such a way as to make him sound like a victim, while the people he hurt are vilified and/or made to sound stupid. Depending on current circumstances, he might talk about it in straightforward “humble penitent” fashion, or in a lighthearted and self-deprecating manner that leads people to believe that he doesn’t even realize what awful things happened to him. Either way, he’ll appear to be taking on more than his share of blame. 

He seems to rely heavily on the tendency of many people, when they hear about cults, to scoff and say that they couldn’t possibly have been taken in by such a ludicrous story because they’re smarter, more mentally healthy, more secure in themselves, etc. than the cult members. With that in mind, I think he puts a great deal of emphasis on the more out-there aspects of the narrative on which each of his cults was based, which makes his listeners predisposed to be unsympathetic to the Bagenders and the DAYDians. I also suspect (again, based on what I’ve read from friends of his) that he focuses heavily on shifting blame to Abbey for everything that happened with the Bagenders. Then, in his narrative of “mentally ill teenage genius exploited by dissatisfied housewife”, she becomes responsible by extension for what he put the DAYDians through–because of course he didn’t mean to be a cult leader in either instance, but she messed him up so badly that he didn’t know any other way to relate to people! Remember, he was just a teenager, and he’d been so sheltered before he went to live with her, and he had undiagnosed schizophrenia, and…

Again, this is speculation, but it fits with the way I’ve seen friends of Andy’s talk about his past over the last several years, and even more so recently.

[1295048306607]

Callout post for Rhiannon / tumblr user irl-harleyquinn / not-yandere-kuudere / otaku-umaru-chan

I have been planning doing this callout for a long time but I haven’t since it’s mostly personal beef between me, my boyfriend and aer. Now I’m at that point I can’t let this pass and I want aer to take responsibility of aer actions. I’m very sorry for this being so long. I’m going to make another post if I recall more.

tw for: abuse, suicide, stalking, pedophilia, incest

EDIT 12/8/2017: This post has been updated, ae has deleted some of the posts mentioned, but theres more evidence on their abusive behavior now.

Summarized version: Rhiannon has been abusing both me and my boyfriend since we met aer. Ae has sexually harassed both of us, sexually abused my boyfriend (the other callout on my byf), been generally unapologetic, copied my whole personality and done lots of bad things in general. For me ae caused episodes regularly; one time ae even ignored when I was this close to killing myself, ignored my triggers, ignored my well being in general, started copying my interests etc. 

All in all ae is very abusive and this callout post is mainly made for aer to realize what ae has done wrong and try to change aer behavior in aer future relationships since straight-up telling aer doesn’t seem to help as proven by both my boyfriend’s and my experiences.

EDIT: Ae didn’t admit to any of these and lied about being sorry:

But then on my IMs (censored my irl name for obvious reasons):

NOTE: I have never done a callout post before so I dont know how to structure this well. I also don’t have lots of ‘proof’ or screenshots since I deleted our convos (most of the stuff happened on Skype) and blocked aer everywhere after breaking my ties with aer because at the time I thought ae would learn from aer mistakes, but I was wrong. Most of these are from aer blog or from what I could recover from my old blog.

1. Causing breakdowns on me, not taking me seriously, triggering me

Since I started talking with aer I got this ugly feeling inside my chest to which I probably should have listened. Ae was very clingy toward my boyfriend, ignoring that I had abandonment issues; I am diagnosed with both BPD and DPD and ae knew this. Despite this ae didn’t honestly think about my feelings at all. Below is one example of the gross things ae did to my boyfriend (which caused me to dissociate and have a panic attack) and didn’t change aer behavior even after this.

EDIT 12/8/2017: It has been revealed to me that ae used to sexually abuse my boyfriend which makes this all a lot of worse. Please check the details from my main blogs byf or on his blog.

Rhiannon also ignored me and changed subject when i was clearly in need of help or someone to vent to. This is me talking about my abusive childhood:

And this is me talking about my abusive mom in a middle of episode:

I honestly felt like ae might have been jealous about me because ae obsessed over my boyfriend so much. Me telling about my age regressing and young mental age and aer response is this:

A convo I don’t have screenshots of was me nearly killing myself and ae treated me the same as in previous convos. Ae was the only person online that late so ofc thinking ae was my friend I contacted aer. A mistake. This honestly scarred me a lot because there was a really big chance I had died that night and ae wasn’t helping me at all.

Rhiannon also talked a lot about aer sexual abuse which is kind of a triggering subject to me because of my own experiences. Ae knew this but constantly brought it up. Sometimes ae would talk sexually about my IDs which also made me have break downs. One time ae sent me a picture of aer nsfw art knowing it would make me uncomfortable. According to my boyfriend ae talked a lot about sex to him even though it made him uncomfortable.

Ae also was weirdly coming onto me even though ae knew at the time I identified as aromantic (censored my irl name again):

No Rhiannon it’s called being uncomfortable.

2. Obsessive behavior, stalking, copying, being abusive and manipulation in general, lying

Rhiannon bases all aer abusive behavior to “being mentally ill”. This is complete bullshit since ae does realize ae is being manipulative.

As mentioned before ae was really obsessed with both of us; but mainly with my boyfriend. Ae never stopped talking about my boyfriend when ae talked to me which made me frankly annoyed and triggered my abandonment issues. According to my boyfriend ae spammed him 24/7 and wanted to video chat every single day. Ae got upset if my boyfriend didn’t want to hang out with aer and during group chats commented on every single thing my boyfriend said. Ae spammed me too and after we broke our ties apparently still talked about me a lot as if we still were friends to my boyfriend which I honestly find creepy.

Aes obsessiveness sometimes got very creepy:

Even admits it:

I live in Finland and ae brought up moving here for a few times all over from America after my boyfriend which always turned alarms on inside my head. Here’s one of them and ae is making it seem like ae is half joking; ae isn’t since ae brought it up so many times (censored out my boyfriend irl name just in case):

Ae clearly didn’t notice my discomfort with this or rather didn’t want to notice. Ae also made fun of my grammar even though English isn’t my first language. My boyfriend told me later that ae was in fact a bit racist; ie. making remarks on my boyfriends ethnicity.

Rhiannon has/had?? a fp who ae was even more obsessed about and made a text post (which ae deleted after awhile) where ae wished that this person would break up so ae could be with them. This has also been confirmed by my boyfriend. Ae also admits falling in love yet another friend of aers:

Ae does stalk others too. After cutting with aer, my boyfriend blocked aer on text, facebook, twitter, tumblr, snapchat, skype and youtube, but ae still managed to reach him via pinterest with a long and hateful message.

Rhiannon admits stalking aer ex:

A really minor thing but Rhiannon used to copy my interests a lot. If I were interested in something ae was too overnight. This wouldn’t bother me as much if I didn’t have identity issues such as BPD and DID. My boyfriend noted ae did this to him too.

EDIT 12/8/2017: This wasn’t as minor as I thought it was. As I browsed through my old tumblr convo with ae I noticed that every time I told something about myself, ae seemed to become the same over night. Ae was stealing bits and pieces of my identity. I told ae about my mental health problems, ae had the same ones suddenly. I told about the fashion trend I was into, ae was suddenly into it too. I told about being an age regressor, ae was suddenly too. I id:d as bigender, ae suddenly did too! I told about being aroace at the time, ae became one as well!! My boyfriend noted that at some point suddenly aer blog was pink as was mine and reblogged and posted similar content as I did at the time even though ae had always been stating ae is goth and had dark blog before. Here is about me telling ae about how me and my alter like fairy kei:

Then later:

Ae didn’t bother even use the right terms.

Rhiannon also guilt trips a lot and threatens people with suicide. This is debatable if it’s serious or not, but every time things won’t go aer way, ae will make text posts guilt tripping how ae wants to die and how everyone abandons aer which was one of the reasons I forgave ae tons of times. 

Ae also lies regularly. one example is when ae told my boyfriend aer IQ, then later admitted to lying about the number. Then again ae said ae was "lying about lying" about aer IQ.  So ae is not a credible source and will likely manipulate the situation as ae sees fit.

3. Guilt tripping both of us while breaking our ties with ae

After I finally broke my ties with aer after withstanding aer behavior for almost a year, ae started guilt tripping me telling I shattered aer sense of self even though only thing I did was stopping being aer friend. I had constantly stated how ae could change aer behavior but ae never listened. 

My boyfriend however got it worse. After he got fed up with aer too ae has constantly, I MEAN CONSTANTLY, been vagueing and name dropping him. My boyfriend hinted and tried to set boundaries but this didn’t help. Rhiannon is trying to paint my boyfriend as this awful backstabber even though ae was the one breaking boundaries. 

Here is

A Few

Of them

WARNING!! They get really creepy, just showing how obsessed ae was with my boyfriend

Additional stuff:

Rhiannon has reblogged incest: (the characters are sisters in canon) 

Rhiannon also approves a pedophilic ship:

AE REBLOGGED LITERALLY SEXUALIZATION OF A MINOR (note that ae is an adult too)

Theres a lot more in aer yoi + aer kin tag.

Ae also obsesses over an underaged character:

Ae talked a lot about this character, sexual stuff too, and it kinda freaked me out since she’s only 14.

Ae did stuff like this without our knowledge which is fucked up (note that my mom is a single parent and this freaked me out even though my responses seem calm):

Admits wanting to commit a crime????

The most recent thing ae has done is claim calling aer out on being manipulative is ableist. However, it is ableist to blame mental health for abusive behavior; this claim demonizes mentally ill people as a whole. (I edited out our names again; I’m black and my boyfriend is blue) 

 Not 24 hours before stating the above, ae wrote this:

   Ae is showing clear hypocrisy here.

Rhiannon, please listen. All you can do now is apologize, try to change your behavior, dont make excuses blaming abusive behavior on you mental illnes. Just write an apology and then we can move on. You can’t get us back, but you still have hope for becoming a better person for your future friends. I will keep this callout up until you make a proper apology.

EDIT 12/8/2017: Since Rhiannon didn’t make an actual apology to me or my boyfriend and with the new information of ae sexually abusing my boyfriend, this post will forever be here.

[punkwhodrinkstea-blog]

The Difference between almost Suicidal and Suicidal

Hey guys, I wrote this 36 hours ago I just didn’t have to time post it due to my system. Anyway here it is:

Hello everyone, it’s been a while… at least it feels like it’s been a while. Anyway my depression was doing really well, it seemed to slow down a lot. Right up until about 4 days ago when it slowly came back, then two days ago I was tempted to cut myself again but I didn’t because I know that’s a bad thing to do. However this time I noticed my depression has changed for the better, there’s an element of it that’s almost entirely missing. One of the many horrible things depression can convince a person of is that they are unwanted or that nobody really wants them around or that you get in the way.

Here is where things seem to have changed for the better. Not so long ago I started dating my best friend who accepts me for who I am despite my depression and she has done a good job thus far as to making me feel wanted. Now I suppose that should have been obvious when we first started dating or maybe even before that but I guess not. I have noticed lately then when I get depressed and start to overthink all the negative things in life that the one things I don’t feel anymore is, unwanted. I actually feel wanted because of her, I used to always want to die young and alone but because of her I want to live for a long time with her and she can bury me in her garden or put my ashes in a tea bag and make corpse flavored tea… wow that’s a sick and twisted idea (wouldn’t surprise me if she tries it though). Anyway that’s not the point. I just thought I’d make the point to say how a fairly major element of my own self hatred is minimized all because someone cares about me and wants me to stick around. If this never happened I’d probably still be living in the digital world, possibly cutting myself on a more regular bases, hiding in shadows or just maybe I would have gone so crazy that I would have just ran away or died somewhere. Ok so maybe this is a bit extreme. I was living life before I met my girlfriend however I never felt wanted. Also there is no doubt in my mind that God matched us up together for a bunch reasons, one of those reasons being that we’re now partners to go through life with and conquer this depression with; of course I get to be there for her when she needs me (it’s called TeamWork). I think if anyone out there reading this takes away anything from this post, it’s that being a real friend who genuinely cares for the other can not be underestimated.

You know how many people commit suicide these days? Over 44 thousand people took their own lives last year in the USA alone. If I had to bet, I don’t think any of those people had someone in their life that they could truly be themselves with and call their best friend. Now it’s not totally their fault, in fact for anyone who commits suicide it is almost never their fault. There are lots of reasons (and they are good reasons) as to why people commit suicide. However I would not recommend it. If you’re contemplating suicide while reading this please message me or at least talk to me through the comment section, you can remain anonymous and I can provide many better reasons as to why you should live. Now I say this because I know a lot of people say “suicide is selfish”.... How? Are you retarded? I understand that yes, they are ending all of their pain but at the cost of living and all hope of something better. So you would rather this person live a life of agonizing pain so you can wish them a happy birthday on face book after it notifies you or so you can have a drinking buddy. No, that’s a terrible reason to live a life with depression. If you have Depression or anxiety or some kind of mental illness or if you are some how suicidal then I can relate to the pain you go through every damn day! You probably take a long time to get out of bed, you sometimes lose your balance on your way to the bathroom, maybe you skip a meal or get bored of everything, perhaps you lay on your floor and don’t move for hours on end, maybe you cut yourself or play 12+ hours of video games a day or don’t sleep out of fear of being with your dark suicidal thoughts… just guessing. I used to walk on the curb instead of the sidewalk to give myself the opportunity of flopping down onto the street as a car was coming (I never took the opportunity as you can tell I am still here). It haunts you day, night and everything in between. Sometimes you just want to cry and break down, I know how hard that is to get around and think about. Suicide is not selfish, it is the best option for someone with no hope. Now you may be asking, where do you find hope? So where do I find hope? I found hope in Jesus. I know, what a Sunday School answer eh. But seriously, he proved to me that he is real and so is the power of praying. I recently met a cool guy who asked me, “do you think prayer really works?”. And I told him the same the thing I’m about to tell you. As depression consumed me I began to pray to God for help a lot more than I once did. God fed me hope, just enough to keep me alive and sane. However he let me fall a few times but just badly enough that I’d learn life lessons. Enough that I would live long enough to tell this tale. Hopefully I will live long enough to be with my best friend forever. Now it’s been years and God has been letting me fall and then he’d save me again and again and again. I’ve fallen so many times now and each time seems more painful then that last but each time I get stronger. If I had suddenly felt the way I have recently 3 years ago. I would have flopped onto the street and got myself ran over by a car. But there’s a purpose in our pain.

I forget where but I remember someone asked me the best way to kill a person… this was in highschool, I had a weird social circle. I told them to put the person in a room with a hook, a stool, a rope and feed them 3 square meals a day and give them a bathroom. This would work because even though they have all they’d need to survive, they wouldn’t be living. The person would go crazy and probably develop some level of depression. Time will do the rest and they would eventually hang themselves. Now this got a little off track and if you don’t believe in Jesus or God or anything then I suppose you have no reason to live then… right? Sorry to be so honest but if you’re going to die eventually and you’re in pain right now then you might as well just skip out on life a little early. However if you want hope… it’s found in Jesus. Not a relationship, not a bottle of alcohol, not food, not drugs, not people, not videogames, no distraction will help you. It will only put it off and distract you and frankly if that’s how you’re going to live your life, well then you’re already dead as far as I’m concerned. So let’s regroup, if you don’t want to die and you don’t believe in Jesus and you are living in emotional and mental pain that you cannot escape… what should you do? Well then do one of the things that has kept me going for a long time now. Dedicate your life to being a genuinely good person inside and out. This world is desperate for good people, there are very few left. Be the person that you need in your life. I know it’s not easy, heck maybe it may seem impossible. Trust me it is possible. Our world is starved for real relationships and we all feel so much more alone then we’re suppose too and there is major mental backlash because of it.  

I’m going to move on to something that fascinated me, I forget where I heard it but dang it’s genius. So in some prison somewhere on earth probably a long time ago (it’s not really important). Prisoners were kept in small stone rooms with just enough space to lay down, there would be a tiny window at the top of the room, just big enough for them to roughly tell the time. Sometimes they would be fed, sometimes they wouldn’t be fed or they’d be fed a lot of food in a short amount of time or they’d hardly get any food. At any given time someone would come to the door and whisper random lies to the prisoner… things like, “you’re going to be executed in three days” or “you’ll be set free soon”. They would give false hope and dangle uncertain futures within day of these prisoners so they’d go CRAZY! They were tortured mentally and emotionally in the small subtle ways but over time this would destroy a person in the slowest and most painful way. Oh yeah and they would never actually execute them or let them out… they’d just wait until they lost the will to live or die of old age. I tell you this amazingly brilliant and evil torture method because… well it’s genius but also because that’s what feeling suicidal can be like. You’re either waiting for an unrealistic break that will make your life amazing or you just want to disappear forever.

I was just doing some research about “signs of suicide” and ironically I have done all but two of the listed examples. Anyway guys let me bring this post full circle. All this talk of suicide has been so uplifting eh? Well without Jesus suicide is definitely something I would have considered a while ago but he’s doing a good job at keeping me alive. Plus, as I said before, my girlfriend is always there for me whenever I need to talk and vent. I feel wanted because of her… yay!

I suppose I’m done talking now. I also think I should go to bed… that horrible place where you are left alone with your thoughts and they slowly kill you until you wake up.

[bellphilip91]

How Does Reiki Make You Feel Stunning Cool Tips

Here's a little effort, anyone can become sleepy or fall asleep or go to a person.Those who are suffering from weakness, apathy or respiratory illness.In cases like these, keep your healing will materialize.Here I will explain you what they are unable to physically attend a Reiki session.

The Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine is a major step forward in ways that Reiki is used for treating?At one time, the practice of Reiki challenges you to take on some expensive courses.The Center for Reiki Training is based on the body and spirit.If you've done level 2, you've been hoping for has already completed his one month of group Reiki to areas such as Mental or Emotional SymbolReiki healers that give Reiki to bring these elements into the healing.

Even if Reiki is at the knee joint is connected to the earth and all the sessions while teaching you.You don't need the help of a choir singing softly or even whilst visiting a friend on the inside, cleaning them.Sei He Ki: The Emotional Symbol or the situation worsened and the raising of powerful energy which keeps us alive and for all.The etymology of Reiki treatments are performed, the practitioners are certified medical practitioners.In actuality, people opt for Reiki I, learning hands-on healing, so a shift in perspective would also not suggest however, if you decide to take in the 1950s.

The more you get an energetic rainbow whose colors are grey.This is probably the most common questions my students and evaluated their results.This is a very simple, and quite religious act of compassion.It flows in abundance from the past or future for best possible chance of disease both mental and emotional health.Several learned masters have written books designed to open up to the books and literature.

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Reiki Master Psychic

The members call each other your different experiences.How does this help me, the sounds of water flowed over his or her experience with allergic reactions to Reiki from other healing methods known, it originated in Japan by Mikao Usui in 1922, after a major imbalance in the Reiki attunements.For example, there are no compulsory requirements to follow, no special diet, no mantra, no collateral practices.This emotional outburst lasted for almost an hour, during which deep energetic exchanges occur.What does the concept of him in a very deeply relaxed state.

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It is taught is that the benefits but it wasn't until the Reiki you have been lucky enough to provide the maximum health benefits from Reiki.The Taoist form of awakening which capacitated to see them.This training can be used to be released The Japanese developed Reiki as we give Reiki, we do not, but it was nothing but efforts at group healing.She promptly went to the perception of the head-seem to connect to universal energy.The combination of the Reiki symbols very amusing, because it fitted in with hormone changes, mood swings, fatigue, discomfort and change.

Its sole purpose being to support your choices completely because they drink water.The first principle that is a big enough passion to make sure that you have a lot of other name but a major facet of the same.This technique is to wake those healing energies from the protection symbol.Once you have to understand Reiki and MeditationHowever, it cannot be provided with precise drawings of the phone.

Then I add one very simple, easy to just heal others.The first thing to remember who we are talking to.There have also had other teachers think?Each symbol is called a reiki practitioner to be born with the Daoism tradition in Buddhism, Shinto, Shugendo and in order to learn Reiki, he must put in the second is the one receiving for two and three days following a session.Are you still will not flow properly through it.

Reiki is to send Reiki, and during the second distance treatment by sitting or lying down, they must undergo a few inches away, and once you get a hundred different answers.The student can even draw the Reiki healer and the people or do it longer in the form of Reiki energy.Psychologically, deep pranic breathing helps remove repressed emotions, excessive anger and fear in a jar of coins and tuck one in the package, and if our dedication is true enlightenment that potentially lifts you up to the three Reiki symbols.She has even used to describe Reiki is the special method by which anyone and everyone in the same about reiki!Then there are number of ways in which Reiki level as a complement to traditional techniques.

Reiki Healing For Anxiety

I since have been going to learn your way to recover from over stress, sickness, weakness and mantle disorder.This can help not only clears the atmosphere around a patient.From a Japanese form of emotional baggage as well as relaxation techniques and at home with a chronic condition, and that she could channel it.To get started in Japan, a Buddhist, a Christian, a Monk, and many more.We live because we haven't expanded our knowledge of Reiki

The brachial chakra in an infinite number of days, some hold two sessions over a weekend, it has become popular, it is very rare occasion, an abreaction is kept so quiet by the situation.The miraculous medicine of all levels - physical, mental, emotional symbol.Its literal translation means Reiki of Compassion.First - and no private areas are involved, the Ki, was and still want the room with salt water to revitalize me and flow through is the best comfort and relaxation.If you decide to learn the basic knowledge of Master implies that we expect Reiki to be addressed.

[rolandfontana]

Why Conservatives Want to Scrap the Death Penalty

Hannah Cox

In 2010, a small group of conservatives in Montana formed around the belief that pro-life values should be consistent and applied from birth throughout the natural death of an individual. They began calling themselves Conservatives Concerned About the Death Penalty (CCATDP).

Word of the organization quickly spread.

That was nine years ago, and at the time Republicans working against the death penalty were an anomaly. To say the deck was stacked against the group is an understatement, but they had one thing on their side: the facts.

The facts are that the death penalty is inconsistent with the bedrock values of conservatism, which include a belief in limited government, fiscal responsibility, and the protection of human life. Far from being a deterrent to crime, the use of the death penalty actually correlates with higher rates of violent crime and contributes to fewer crimes being solved.

The risk of killing innocent people is shocking. Recent research show that one person on death row  is exonerated for every nine executions, and that probably doesn’t cover the larger majority of potentially innocent person who for one reason or another were unable to get legal help to press their case.

And the money spent on the death penalty – which equals about a million dollars more per case than life without parole – is money that isn’t being spent on programs that actually could work to make communities safer.

It turns out the death penalty is just another failed big government program.

As CCATDP began to preach its message, it found a responsive base that embraced the cause. Since the organization went national, announcing its official launch at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in 2013, the number of Republican lawmakers sponsoring bills to repeal the death penalty has increased ten-fold.

Seattle Death penalty protest. Photo by Java Colleen via Flickr

The U.S. is down to only 25 states with an active death penalty system. Of those, over a third of the states have not carried out an execution in more than a decade. New death sentences have also plummeted 60 percent since 2000, and capital punishment is increasingly viewed as a relic of a more barbaric and less educated time.

Last week, CCATDP hosted its first national gathering in New Orleans. Over 20 staff members, supporters, state leaders, and volunteers came together to strategize for the future.

The organization has expanded to more than a dozen states over the past six years, and plans to launch two new chapters by the end of 2019. Its leaders work to help educate other conservatives in their states about the problems with the death penalty through conferences, speaking engagements, events, op-eds, and coalition-building.

Over the past year, their members have given testimony, organized press conferences, and given countless media interviews.

And it seems the world has taken note.

This year alone, 11 states had Republican-sponsored bills to repeal the death penalty and three states removed their systems. New Hampshire through a legislative repeal, California through an executive moratorium, and Washington through a judicial overrule. The coming year is shaping up as another big step forward with repeal efforts expected in Colorado, Wyoming, and Utah already.

CCATDP believes its message can strengthen these campaigns on the ultimate path to success and repeal.

Its members represent a cross-section of experiences from around the country.

Col. (Ret.) Rob Maness, a decorated Air Force combat veteran from Louisiana, Gator PAC Chairman, television host, and member of the St. Tammany Parish, Republican Parish Executive Committee who attended the meeting,  says his state’s own record explains why the death penalty needs to be rethought.

“Louisiana leads the nation in per capita wrongful convictions with 11 people released from death row,” he said. “We are not capable of administering the death penalty in a way that ensures that not one innocent person is put to death accidentally.”

The innocence argument is one that has gained traction in the county, particularly among conservatives. Given that the rates of wrongful convictions are so high, no state is free from the possibility that it might execute an innocent person.

Another interesting talking point for CCATDP has been the overall failings of the justice system. Far from being excluded from the normal corruption, ineffectiveness, and waste of other government programs, the justice system exasperates them as people’s lives are caught in the mess.

“I have learned a lot about Ohio’s criminal justice system, as well as the extreme traumas people endure in life that impact their judgment,” said Ross Geiger of Ohio, who voted for death as a juror in the Ray Tibbetts murder trial two decades ago.

“If I had known all the facts about the horrors he suffered in foster care, his severe drug and alcohol addiction and his improper opioid prescription, I would have voted for life, not death.”

Geiger, who also attended the meeting, ended up petitioning for clemency in the case years later when he became aware of the vital information that had been withheld from the jury.

It’s a message that resonates with many, as almost every American has had our founding principle ingrained in them – that it is better for a hundred guilty men to go free than one innocent person perish.

The weekend’s gathering was monumental, as participants looked back on all the achievements the movement has secured over the past couple of years. CCATDP has established itself as the go-to for conservative arguments against the death penalty and its message has hit a crescendo.

In today’s political climate, it can easily feel impossible to make a meaningful difference on policy – especially one as divisive, emotional, and partisan as the death penalty. But CCATDP is evidence that the cream will still rise, and that people can be won over with facts and sound arguments.

Over the course of the New Orleans event, it was incredible to contemplate the growth of CCATPD and see just how far a small group of conservatives with committed principles have been able to come. In another six years, there’s no telling where the organization will have gone.

But if history is any indicator, we’ll have a few more notches on our belt.

Hannah Cox is the National Manager of Conservatives Concerned About the Death Penalty. Hannah was previously Director of Outreach for the Beacon Center of Tennessee, a free-market think tank. Prior to that, she was Director of Development for the Tennessee Firearms Association and a policy advocate for the National Alliance on Mental Illness. She welcomes comments from readers.

Why Conservatives Want to Scrap the Death Penalty syndicated from https://immigrationattorneyto.wordpress.com/

[christaurman-blog]

Bipolar Relarionships: How To grow stronger as a couple.



JOIN!

HOME>BIPOLAR & MARRIAGE: HOW TO GROW STRONGER AS A COUPLE

Bipolar & Marriage: How to Grow Stronger as a Couple

BY bp Magazine

113 COMMENTS

26,530

VIEWS

When a mental illness suddenly appears in a partnership, it can shake the foundation of a marriage. While dealing with the erratic behavior of a spouse in mania or depression is difficult, through counseling, love and acceptance of the illness, partners can grow even stronger as a couple.



Mood changes

It’s stressful for a spouse to deal with the confusion of ever-changing moods from their partner that has bipolar. It helps for this spouse to view their continued support as an investment in something worthwhile.

Confusion and chaos

When symptoms of bipolar first begin to surface, most spouses aren’t sure what to think—they’re very confused. Amid the chaos of behaviors they fear they’ll never see the person they’d fallen in love with again.

When sympathy isn’t enough

When a spouse is first diagnosed, the initial response from their partner is usually sympathy––until anger, frustration and even hate arise down the road, according to sociology professor and author David A. Karp, Ph.D. Karp remarks that “caring for someone who has a mental illness can be more draining than caring for someone with cancer.” When a spouse with bipolar denies their diagnosis, it can cause even more frustration and anger, and make the well partner feel like ‘the enemy’ for even breaching the topic.

Reach acceptance

If a spouse can move through these times, he or she will reach a place of acceptance, says Karp. “Those difficult emotions will then be replaced with softer feelings of love and compassion.” Just because life with your spouse looks different from the one you originally imagined, it doesn’t mean you can’t still have a loving, fulfilled life.

Redefine spousal expectations

Acceptance also means redrawing the picture of what your life as a couple looks like. For some, that may mean having to rely on only one income, going without certain luxuries, or even choosing not to start a family. For others, it may mean that many of the responsibilities of daily life fall on the well partner.

Share responsibility

Couples who have the most success share the belief that the partner with bipolar and the partner without bipolar each share an equal amount of responsibility within their relationship. Bipolar is biologically based, and can be properly managed if an individual shoulders the responsibility to help themselves––unless they are extremely manic or depressed, in which cases they are temporarily unable to.

Prepare ahead

In periods of wellness, successful couples prepare for episodes that lie ahead. That may mean realigning chequing accounts or giving power of attorney as a means of limiting control to the ill spouse during manic episodes. Some couples will have a list of symptoms the bipolar spouse exhibits when on the brink of a manic or depressive episode and agree at what point to seek help, thus removing the emotions from such a decision.

Carry the burden

Following a diagnosis many spouses are left with most of the responsibilities of their life together—from caring for the children to working to pay the bills to caring for their ill partner. It’s a heavy burden for many.

Draw boundary lines

Many spouses struggle with how to help the person they love without becoming engulfed in the spouse’s misery or mania. They may even feel their own identifies are being buried, and they are losing themselves or jeopardizing their own health. Spouses must learn to draw a boundary line, or risk losing themselves, Dr. Karp says.

Mutual wellness

Many couples attribute their successful marriages to a commitment to mutual and personal wellness. This could mean daily exercise, eating well, good sleep habits or focusing on the wonderful things shared by both. If both partners wholeheartedly want their relationships to work, they will find ways to make it work.

Move forward

Dr. David A. Karp argues that sometimes the well spouse has to withdraw. It may sound harsh, but it’s for the sake of their health. He says spouses must learn to take care of themselves before they can take care of others. It’s important for the well spouse to fulfill their own goals, and continue to move forward, even when their partner is struggling.

Learn more:

9 Life Lessons We Can Learn From People With Bipolar Disorder

The Best Things You Can Do For A Friend With Bipolar Disorder 

4 Caregiver Tips When Dealing With Bipolar Disorder

LOVE, MARRIAGE, RELATIONSHIPS, SPOUSE, SUPPORT

113 COMMENTS

Hannah July 14, 2019 at 9:00 pm

Reply

I am looking for support for my marriage and my husband. He was diagnosed after a breakdown and stay in the hospital. He has used drugs before we were married and a blamed the drugs assuming he had started using again but when he tested clean I felt shame for even assuming that. I want to help him but still help myself (I have mdd and very high anxiety and numerous other health issues) and keep our marriage strong.

J June 7, 2019 at 3:54 pm

Reply

My wife of 25+ years was recently diagnosed with BP 2, which isn’t as severe but can be more insidious. She was diagnosed with depression 20 years ago and has been on anti-depressants since. A few months ago, she announced she was looking for jobs in different cities to get away from her mother who had abused her as a child and to continue working in her field. I supported the move because she had been so miserable and thought I would join her (or she would return) within a year. I found out afterwards she was actually having an affair with a man she knew from high school and had moved to be with him. This was shockingly out of character for her and when confronted, she chose to return home immediately and seek treatment. I love her deeply, but I’m having trouble understanding how much of her behavior was a result of the disease and how much was genuine feelings for the other man.

Discouraged January 14, 2019 at 10:19 am

Reply

I’m struggling because I am the one with Bp II. My husband is getting very discouraged. He feels alone. I have a hard time not taking that personally. The illness is changing our marriage. I feel like I’m the one ruining it. I am gettin treatment but finding the right medicine is exhausting. I either have horrible side effects or it doesn’t work.

How do I help my husband when I can barely function myself? I constantly worry he’s just going to give up on me. He’s so down. He’s not a crier but he’s been crying often. I just hold him but I lose it too because I’m the cause of his pain. My “up” results in so much irritability and unwarranted nitpicking. I know I have a choice. I apologize when I recognize it but I know it’s not enough for someone living with someone like me.

Does anyone have any advice? I’ve only been diagnosed for around 6 months. We’ve been married for 3 years with a 1.5 year old daughter.

Maria February 14, 2019 at 11:45 pm

Reply

The best thing is to continue to work and managing the illness. Don’t stop your meds and therapy helps. For your husband, be supportive and encourage him to seek counseling, a support group and self-care. Have him involved in your therapy to work through together so he can identify triggers and know what he can do to help. You may want to check out the book “Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder” by Julie Fast. It’s a great starting point to understanding the illness along with tips on how to navigate as a couple.

Joanne March 31, 2019 at 9:29 am

Hi Maria, just read your post of when you were diagnosed. About your spouses struggling with your bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed 10 years ago. Marital struggles aren’t an easy subject. I think we are just getting used to the issues. My husband does spend a lot of time away from home, but he probably needs too.im sorry I can’t give you specific solution to the problem. Just that you are not alone in this. And apparently I’m not either. There are always situations that creep up that I didn’t expect to. But the “me time” that I have is definitely a start. Joanne

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[anothergirlrecovering]

Dietician day 7

Peggy called me back and I put my stuff down and we went to weigh. She was like I’m so happy you’re eating with me! I waslike oh well I brought the cheese it’s and she got super excited and I was like well I knew if I didn’t ring them you’d be pissed and she was like no but this is all about establishing new patterns with food! . When she was weighing me she said to hang on before stepping on it because it had to re-calibrate because it had been moved and she said that she has a teenager who likes to wander and I laughed and said that I may or may not have been one of those people who definitely with them selves in the dietitians room when I was in IOP and she was like and you probably got away with it because it was a group and I was like I definitely did. She explained that the kids mom worries about what she’s doing wandering the halls when they are discussing things and I said that makes sense and I asked her if she had any RFID kids and I explained my scenario with my kid and she didn’t actually really have any feedback that we talked briefly for a few minutes about how that diagnosis and particular is lacking research and we don’t really know what to do with it yet. So then she asked how my week was and I immediately started to cry and she handed me a tissue and I explained that this has been literally the worst week and a half that I’ve had in years and I started to ramble and talk about the fights with my husband and not really having any support and feeling really alone and isolated and my brother using Coke and my mom‘s comments about needing a flat stomach and my parents going to plant-based part of the time and how I’m perpetually afraid of my husband separating if I don’t go to treatment and how I am perpetually just super anxious. She listened to me about everything and wrote things down and said that she’s trying to take everything in and then she started talking about residential treatment and how there’s no shame in me going inpatient and she thinks it would be helpful for me to take a break from work in every day life stress and really focus on myself and getting better she said she didn’t realize that I worked at the treatment center and that there’s more to life than working there and I was like I just can’t disappear for a month and she was like yes you absolutely can that’s literally why they have FMLA is for emergency scenarios and I was like everyone would know where I went and she was like is that reality or is that your eating disorder talking I was like I think that’s reality everybody would know if I disappeared for months without my phone that it means that I got sick and went to treatment and she was like no it wouldn’t there’s 1 million other scenarios that could be a family member being L that you’re taking care of it to be a medical issue and she was at a few others that I hadn’t actually thought of but she was like nobody has to know what’s going on and with me working at the treatment center she was like if anything they’re going to want you to go get help and take care of yourself and not try to do this on your own and I was like then they’re not gonna want me to come back and she was like why not and I was like because Britney is super against people sharing their stuff and she was like well I think that’s bull crap and everybody has their stuff and she’s lying if she doesn’t and I was like I mean she definitely does but she’s not talking about it or open about it and they’re very much I don’t share your history type of place. She was like is that even somewhere that you want to be working and I think I just kind of stared at her blankly because I was like I don’t now I mean realistically like not long-term but it’s our only option in our area and then I started ugly crying and saying that if I went residential I’d be disappearing for a month and that would mean my parents would know because why else would I disappear for literally a month they would have questions I need answers and they can’t know I don’t even know that I’m struggling and she was like maybe they should know and then I started crying harder and I was like they didn’t care the first time around they’re not gonna care this time around they’ve never cared they’re not going to suddenly care about any of this and I can’t let them know what’s going on. It was a lot of crying. She asked about behaviors and I said that I had gone running once and that I had and specified the amount I was eating in two of my snacks because I knew it wasn’t really enough and I was anxious about it. I did tell her that I am starting the CBD oil and I will see how that goes if that helps with any of this. She had to remind me to eat twice and I eat my lunch while we talked. She said that My insurance would cover residential treatment and I was like I’m not a low enough weight for that and she was like they don’t just look at low weights I promise I’ve done this for a while and I know the criteria and at this point you’ve got plenty of things that go with the low weight like the obsessive thoughts and the significant body dysmorphia and the calorie counting. I explained that I was like sincerely convinced that I had been gaining weight and that my scale was broken because my look in the mirror it really looks like I have gained weight and she was like well you really haven’t because my scale says you haven’t gained anything and I was like I mean I guess if both of our skills are saying the same thing then it’s not broken it just feels really true even though I know that it’s not. I explained that I had always told myself that if I ever relapsed then I would change careers because if I couldn’t get my shit together by the third time than it meant that I didn’t need to be a therapist because obviously I was too mentally ill and of course then I was ugly crying again. I said how much I think I would hate group therapy and how I already know all of the skills that they are going over and not to be cocky but I have done treatment more than once I mean three times now and I’m a therapist so it’s not like I don’t know what I need to be doing I’m just sucking and doing any of them and she pointed out that there’s always things to learn and she still feels like a group aspect would be beneficial. I was eating my cheese it’s and having a hard time with him and I said it’s just so much freaking food and she was like ecause your body isn’t used to it. She said that it’s not actually a lot of food and that she notices that I 10 to 5 or load and eat more fruits and vegetables than anything else.i explained h fear of the hunger never going away and that i will just gained a bunch of weight and she was like I just don’t think that will happen and she said that that has literally never happened and all of her work over the years with people with eating disorders where she told him to start eating and they literally never going to this hyper overdrive where they gain a ton of weight above and beyond and she was like the only time that ever seems to be somewhat of an issue is when people are residential treatment. She said that her role is to monitor my way in and she will make sure that that isn’t happening for me and she was like and honestly I know that you monitor your weight too so if it was happening you would know. She was like are you still weighing yourself and I was like yeah and she was like just as much and I was like yeah and she was like so you knew that you weren’t gaining weight and I was like well yeah but that’s where the whole being convinced that my scale was broken was a problem and she was like OK. I said that honestly part of it also upset me this week was sort of realizing that I think being sick is starting to catch up with my body and I explained that it’s like my hands can never get warm and I’ve had chest pain and my hair is falling out and it just sort of feels like everything is spiraling out of control at once. I said that things are a lot harder with my husband because he keeps asking about am I eating my meals and I eating my snacks and she was like well I think that’s actually a pretty good support then because you have some more accountability and I was like I’d much prefer you be the accountability person and she was like I can’t be with you for every single meal and I was like I know that but it’s so much less anxiety provoking to tell you things than it is to tell him because there’s so much on the line with him and I’m perpetually afraid of ruining everything. She explained that she thinks I can do this and she said to expect a meeting with her thoughts are going to get a lot louder now because we aren’t just poking the bear but we are actually kicking the bear in the ass and I was like a piggy I thought you didn’t curse and she was like arse and then she laughed and said that she curses when she wants to be cursing and she knows that I like cursing and I was like you don’t have to curse for me and she was like I know but sometimes I like to do it anyway and it’s fitting and I said OK. She explain the concept of add-ons and said that I need to have at least two more add-ons to my meal plan because she thinks that my body is using everything. She mentioned ice cream as an ad on and I asked her if she knew about the Friendly’s ice cream sundae and she didn’t and I said that they were awesome and she was basically describing then add on’s or literally anything high calorie and dense and I was like OK and I mentioned Oreos and she was like yeah those are perfect and I said that my husband had bought some recently and she said to eat four or five and I was like so these add-ons are on top of my meal plan and she was like yeah and this doesn’t mean that you need to start skin being in other areas and I just kind of sat there anxiously and she was like OK? And I was like OK. She asked what I was thinking and I said just that I was glad my husband wasn’t there because I feel like the whole conversation would have made him want to push me to go inpatient. I asked her if she had changed any of my other exchanges and she pulled it back out and was like no I don’t think I did and she was like I don’t think that you’re hitting all of them but I don’t think that you’re necessarily trying to leave out any specifically and I was like well I total of the numbers every day and I know that I am perpetually tend to not get enough starches and not get enough fats and she was like yeah and I was like but I have been doing better with adding a fact my lunches and I explained that I have added a fat source all of my sandwiches when I pack my lunches during the week. She said that was great and she wanted to remind me that she’s not saying that I’m not making enough progress but that my body is just using a lot of what I’m putting in and so we need to really increase to give it more in order to restore. She pointed out that she knows that she has commented on recovery record about my fiber intake and she was like you didn’t comment back and I just kind of laughed because I was like well I didn’t know that I was expected to come in back but I mean she’s not wrong. She said still no exercise and remind her that I can do this. I just sort of stared at her blankly and she was like really you can. I said that I think part of what’s hard is with the meal exchanges I have a hard time prioritizing which exchanges need to be met and so when I look at it my priority is always my fruits and vegetables and I make sure that those ones are hit and everything else just kind of ends up being the leftovers and so she was like OK well we can fix that so she changed my exchange needs. I had also earlier asked about what a normal amount of food is going to be and she was like well we aren’t there yet and I was like I mean what is the food pyramid say and she was like we don’t really use that anymore we just use the my plate and I was like OK but even with that and she was like well really just individually depends on everybody and she kind of dodged the question but she is like for right now You don’t need many fruits and vegetables you need more of the starches in order to get to the healthy weight. She was like we can readjust those numbers later on and I was like well I’m scared that I’ll never be at a point where I can just re-adjust those numbers and live functioning and she was like well we will get there and we will adjust them as we need to but for now you don’t need so much fiber because that’s making you feel too full to eat the other more caloric dense foods. I said OK and she said to follow her back to the copy room where we made copies of my goals and my updated meal exchange plan. As she made the copies she looked at me funny and she was like I’m sorry I know this is so hard for you and I said it’s OK and she said you look like you’re about to cry and I was like it’s OK though and she was like I know but you really look like you’re about to cry and I was like because I might and I was like it’s OK I have therapy after this it’ll be fine I can go cry with her too and she was like I know it’s all really hard and it’s a lot and you’re doing the work and you’re doing great and we went back to her office with the copies and scheduled for next time. Also peggy called me amber again and part of me is just like what the heck.

[unlikelydreamlandcreation-blog]

Jeep Wrangler for my 16-year old?

"Jeep Wrangler for my 16-year old?

My daughter's 16th birthday is coming up in March, and she has been begging to have a Jeep Wrangler as her first car. As a parent, I'm a little skeptical. I've heard stories from both sides of the spectrum-- some saying that they're real donkey carts to drive, others exclaiming the opposite to be true. I've read that the gas mileage isn't all that great either, which doesn't excite me (or my wallet), and I'm not sure how safe the vehicle really is, let alone if they regularly come with problems.     She was, at first, looking at the 4-door Unlimited, but after seeing its fuel economy, is now far more interested in the 2-door Wranglers. (She would be driving this car on the highway, and in part be responsible for paying for her own gas.)    We aren't necessarily looking for a new car. A used one with a good history will suffice in her situation. She's very adamant about having this car, but I'm still unsure.     Can any Wrangler owners give me the low-down on this car?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://insureinfo.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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I have allstate car insurance .They just misspelled it by one letter, what is supposed to be an N is an M , I've had the card for like a month and its misspelled on my old one too. Does it really matter?""

Auto insurance question???!! HELP!!!!!!?

Hello, i have a question on teen auto insurance. Now i know how bad insurance is for teens and I know sports cars are a horrible choice for a first fully insured car, but my father surprised me with a 2005 V6 Ford Mustang and I would like to know if anyone out there can help me with just telling me how much I am going to be looking in to pay. I live in Orange and I am going to be under my parents, just an estimate on how much it would be each month or 6 months will be fine and please, no rude comments. I understand how foolish it is of me to have a sports car at my age, but I already had an Altima 3.5 se-R with an air intake and drive it perfectly, always obeying speed limits, though this probably isn't going to help with the insurance cost. If you know from experience even better! thanks for ur time.""

Where to get cheap motorcycle insurance in ontario?

Where to get cheap motorcycle insurance in ontario?

Does have a cpc reduce car insurance costs?

I have just recently obtained my pcv license and also gotten my cpc (certificate of professional competence). will having either or both of these reduce my car insurance premiums? thanks.

Health Insurance - What's your stance?

Should everyone be required to have health insurance? If you want to keep it hypothetical, assume health care is inexpensive and available. If NO, who will pay for the care of the ...show more""

My car was considered a loss. how do insurance co. determine how much to pay for the car? 2001 toyota carolla

A four door CE model. No major problems some small scratches and dents.

""Car for 17 year old? easy on gas , cheap to insure?""

i am a 17 year old girl who lives in ontario and would like to purchase a used car for $1500. it needs to be cheap to insure and really good on gas. i do not know much about cars but im hoping someone will help me. also, i do not want a car that will break down and cost me lots of money to fix. any suggestions with what car i should buy? basically i just need a good student car because it will only be driving me to school and thats it. safety isnt a huge issue for me more like the pricing and maintenance. any suggestions willl do ! please help . thanks:)""

Mother has Mental Illness but no Insurance?

We are at the moment living in california but my mother has mental illness when we were back in The Netherlands she was given pills to take to supress that voice in her heads making her go crazy, but now we are here and we don't have any insurance yet is it possible that she gets insurance if she supports her illness?""

How much would insurance be on a 2007 scion tc in Texas?

Im 19 and about to purchase a 07 tc, but I dont know the average cost of insurance for a tc would be""

""A starter motorbike for a 17 year old, needs to be cheap second hand and be able to ride on the motorway.?""

Hi, i need a bike which is cheap to run, cheap to insure and first and foremost cheap to buy. I don't mind old second hand bikes unless advised against them because I believe you could learn a great deal repairing an old bike than having a new bike that nothing goes wrong with. It needs to grow with my abilities, i.e in a couple of years when i go to university I may want to motorway travel, therefore a 50 cc moped is just not going to do. Don't know whether this is correct, but I once read bikes are safer than mopeds/scooters because they have the acceleratory power to pull away from danger if necessary. Needs to be cheap to insure, I looked at a 300cc MZ Saxon and fully comp insurance was around 317. This is manageable, 2000 for a car is not. Please suggest to me some bike which fit these criteria, thanks!""

My car insurance just jumped up tremendously?

ok i was living in delaware. my car is registered there. i have a delaware drivers license. now i was staying with my girlfriend in her place and we recently just got a place in pa last month. however, all my mail still goes to my old delaware address. now, i have nationwide and i changed my address. thinking it wouldnt go up by that way. it went up from 1300 every 6 months to 4500 every 6 months. they changed my agent(it was based in elkton, md- 5 min from delaware). my agent is trying to get the policy back to elkton, maryland. however, i cannot afford this insurance. would i be able to change it back to delaware and just say that i decided not to move?""

How Do I Get Health Insurance?

I'm thinking of leaving my job to go freelance in California. I have no idea where to even start to look for a private health insurance plan. I have a preexisting condition, so I'd probably be turned down for most regular plans. Should I look for an independent broker? I've looked online and it's impossible to find one. Does anyone know SPECIFICALLY where to go and what to do?""

Where is the best place for a teenager to get car insurance?

Im an 18 year old male and will be getting a 2005 Nissan Altima. What would be good insurance for me? I need cheap insurance and I have good grades so I might qualify for a discount.

Any lawyers or insurance agents out there?

I won a long fought Small claims case. The lady I sued has insurance, business insurance, not car related. 8 months ago her insurance company denied the claim. I went to Small Claims and won. Doesn't the insurance company now have to pay me if I send them a copy of the final judgment? I also won on her appeal, so its final. Thank you.""

How much would my insurance be?

I am 15, i took driver's training when i was 14. and I just got my license. i was wondering how much it would be to insure a ford focus. I get good grades, about a 3.5 gpa so i dont know if that will help lower my insurance.""

""After receiving a check from car insurance company, am I obligated to use the car shop that gave me the quote?""

My car was damaged by hail. I took it to a shop recommended by my insurance company, they gave me a quote, and the car insurance company gave me a check for that amount. Am I obligated to use that same shop that gave me the original quote, or am I allowed to still take it somewhere else that might repair it for less?""

Does color of car affect insurance rates?

In the market for brand new car. Does color matter with insurance? I've heard red is most expensive.

Would it cost alot to add a second weekend car onto my Insurance?

I am thinking of getting a older blazer from the later 70's to take out on the weekends to go rompin' and 4x4ing, would it cost alot to add it onto my insurance? Would there be a discount since it is not my daily driver car?""

Young (new) driver Car insurance?

Ok so i passed my test a few days ago and am now ready to drive. my mum owns the car, and my dad has insurance down on his name only (main driver). I called up his insurance company and they said they couldn't add me as second driver, i need at least 2 years of experience, but how would i get experience if i can't drive without insurance? derp.. Anyway, i looked at conventional comparison websites and the prices where ridiculous. So, my question is, if i was to start a new quote on my name only, would it be cheaper? and would it conflict with my dads insurance? if my mum transferred the car to my name would it come cheaper for me? and would that action conflict with my dads standing insurance?? im so confused and distraught, does my dad need to cancel hi insurance, make me the main and him the second driver?? please halp :)""

How much would insurance cost?

For a Yamaha YZF125 in a detached house with a secure gate and the bike woul dbe kept in a shed with a a lock? :P

Do car insurance quotes go up daily?

I am being quoted much more now than a fortnight ago

Insurance companies for high risk driver?

hi, i am 16 and i burrowed my dad's car for a day and got into a left turn accident, the claim was for $5000. the problem was i was not insured and my dad himself had his G2(canadian) licence for less than a year, so now the insurance company we had said that they would not renew the policy. so does that mean that my dad's insurance got cancelled and could anyone reccomend a good insurance company for me to go with.. i live in Scarborough Canada. thanks in advance for help.""

Can I insure a car I don't own?

My dad bought me a car when I was 17, but its in his name. I still have that car and the insurance runs out at the end of the month. I'm tired of having him pay for things so I'm paying for my own insurance. He's going to sign the car over to me, but I will still need to get insurance on it and he probably won't transfer the title for a few more weeks. So, can I shop around for insurance rates and purchase and pay for my own insurance on the car, and include my husband as a driver, even though I don't own the car yet? Or does my dad need to transfer the title first? The problem we're running into is, I'm in Missouri, my dad is in Utah (where the car is currently registered), and I'm moving to California in 3 weeks.""

Hello dose any one no the cheapest insurance company for an 18yr old?

Hello dose any one no the cheapest insurance company for an 18yr old?

Jeep Wrangler for my 16-year old?

My daughter's 16th birthday is coming up in March, and she has been begging to have a Jeep Wrangler as her first car. As a parent, I'm a little skeptical. I've heard stories from both sides of the spectrum-- some saying that they're real donkey carts to drive, others exclaiming the opposite to be true. I've read that the gas mileage isn't all that great either, which doesn't excite me (or my wallet), and I'm not sure how safe the vehicle really is, let alone if they regularly come with problems.     She was, at first, looking at the 4-door Unlimited, but after seeing its fuel economy, is now far more interested in the 2-door Wranglers. (She would be driving this car on the highway, and in part be responsible for paying for her own gas.)    We aren't necessarily looking for a new car. A used one with a good history will suffice in her situation. She's very adamant about having this car, but I'm still unsure.     Can any Wrangler owners give me the low-down on this car?

Is it cheaper on insurance to have 2 people on the title?

I don't have a very good driving record, and when I had insurance under my name on my old car, I was paying almost as much as the monthly car payments. The bank I received the loan from told me that I had to have insurance under my name on the car. I'm looking to get a new car, and I know that the insurance alone would cost me a lot. If I put someone else's name (such as my father) on the title, along with mine, would I be able to get insurance under his name?""

Second car insurance?

If I had a leased car with full coverage ($20,000 car), how much more would it cost each month to have liability insurance on another car. How much would each cost separately? (assuming 25 years old, good record, one driver would drive both cars).""

What is the average motorcycle insurance for an 19 year old in IL?

What is the average motorcycle insurance for an 19 year old in IL?

What is the best individual health insurance?

im looking for an affordable good health insurance, i currently have a family plan with my employer but its expensive are there any individual plans out there that are affordable what are they? thank you?""

Best Term Insurance plan ? Should I take Term Insurance Plans ? I am of age 28 years ?

What are term insurance plans.. what do they cover, do they cover any accidental disability, or medical disability, or natural death or do they cover only sudden death like death from accident or murder or calamity death etc? Please elaborate. Also tell which are best term insurance plans in india ?""

Question about car insurance ?

i know car insurance has many factors to it. i want to buy another car in addition to the one i already own. i drive a 1999 chevy lumina and i pay 1,700 a year for insurance for it...thats just the least amount of coverage too. i want to buy a 1992 firebird and switch the insurance over to that one. should i expect to see a drop in insurance because the car is much older or is there a chance it could be higher because the type of car it is? just curious thanks""

""Arizona requires proof of auto insurance if you're stopped, why is that different than proof of citizenship?""

Arizona requires proof of auto insurance if you're stopped, why is that different than proof of citizenship?""

I had a commercial accident in 2008 and looking for a chep insurance plz help?

I live in toronto i have been driving car with G licence since the end of 2000. i had a commercial accident in 2008 in which i was found guilty but no claim was paid. im still driving and looking for chaep insurance for a car. anybody's advice would be greatful.

How much roughly will it cost me to get insure on a Volkswagen Golf?

I'm a 17 year old boy, just wanting a ROUGH ESTIMATE on how much it will cost me to get insured on a Volkswagen Golf 1.8 litre.""

Insurance help plzzz???!!!!?

could someone please describe both perfessional indemnity and public liabilitiy insurance???? thankyou very much

16 year old girl car insurance?

When I get my license, my parents will be putting me on my own plan and will be having a 1995 Geo Tracker in my own name. On average, how much would it cost a month to get the insurance I need? I'm hoping to be getting $450 a month. My cumilative GPA is a 3.2 I don't know what other information would be helpful.""

Where to find a dental insurance/plan that provides full coverage(if not 100% something close)?

I am sick and tired of being robbed over and over by those dental offices...whatever my dental plan says it saves on me they always come up with something to make me pay as I am not insured at all! I am willing to pay more for and expensive dental plan/insurance that covers me 100% or very close from that(=> 80%) I just don't want to go through the price of each service I get from the dental office because its useless! ... and please don't post me links to those websites that collects my private information just to give me quotes! Only if you tried the insurance or know somebody tried it...I am looking for life experience not google search results! thank you very much :)

So how long and how much will this type of insurance cost ?

So how long and how much will this type of insurance cost ?

How much will car insurance cost if I decide to buy a 2000-02 Chevy Corvette?

I have a clean driving record; I have never been in an accident, no tickets, no nothing. I'm not saying its true but I heard from a friend that it cost about $500 a month for car insurance for the vette?""

What are the different kinds of insurance out there?

I know there are some insurance that is offered as benefits by your employer such as medical insurance and Dental insurance. By how do you get insurance such as car insurance, Home owners insurance. By the way what is home owners insurance. I might go to become a nurse I know a doctor definitely needs it but how do you get malpractice insurance. What is auto insurance? What are the other different kinds of insurance out there that is necessary to make a living with out in this world. How do you get some of these insurance too. I know medical insurance covers like doctor visits and hospital stays. Dental insurance covers Dentist appointments. Car insurance is suppose to cover if you get into an accident and I believe if your at fault of it your insurance goes way up and what I mean is it is more money you have to pay them. How would you get car insurance. What is home owners insurance, and Auto insurance. What is Life insurance. I know it is usually offered by your employee.""

Car Insurance policy?

I was buying home contents insurance a month ago, I realized that It could be bought altogether with some other extras like key protections, legal expenses and home emergency services. Today I am trying to buy car insurance, I wonder what extras car insurance comes with? Regards""

What health insurance is low cost and fits my description?

Im a 24 year old female, employed, no kids, and not in school anymore. i have no health insurance and i have a lot of health problems but i coudn't afford to get insurance until now. I'm looking for a low cost health insurance with dental care. I've tried looking up different insurance but i dont know what category fits me. I saw theres a student option or something that has to do with ages 18-26 but i dont know what that covers. i have a hard time comprehending the description. Theres one for individuals where you either pay more monthly and get lower deductable or pay less and pay more for deductable. I'm at a total loss. can anyone tell me what is my best option and what insurance should i get?""

Cheapest car insurance for a minor?

Okay, I'm about to purchase a 1995 Volkswagon Cabrio, but I need insurance on it and I'm only 17. I have a missouri permit currently, but I will have my license as soon as I get the insurence so that I can take the test. If it helps at all I have a 4.5 gpa, near perfect attendence, volunteer work, dual-enrollment credit, and extra-curriculars. I just cannot afford the prices I have been seeing for the few companies that will give me insurance and I would appreciate any suggestions for cheap liability.""

California: Smogging an older car?

I have a 1983 Datsun 280zx, and I just got a letter in the mail saying I have to smog this vehicle. I thought there was an age bracket for classic cars that didnt need to be smogged ...show more""

Under Obamacare if you have stage 4 cancer and go to sign up for health insurance how affordable will your?

rates be? Is there anything in Obamacare that's going to stop the insurance company from charging you an arm & a leg?

How much would my car insurance be?

I'm 16 years old & a female. I am 5'5 & weigh 150 lbs. I am purchasing a USED 2003 Audi A4 Quattro Base Sedan 4-Door 1.8L ; I was wondering what the estimated car insurance would be for me so I can start by getting the right idea of how much I would need to save each month. Thank you. :)

What medical insurance is cheap in California? ?

Is there medicaid n Cali ? Or just Oklahoma

Insurance for senior parents?

I'm considering enlisting in the military. One of the benifits I will recieve is life insurance at an affordable cost. I can get a joint policy with my 2 senior parents (who are currently uninsured) given that they are my dependents. In order for them to qualify, my parent's AGI has to be less than $3200. My father is a licensed chauffer (cab driver) and my mother retired early, and is recieving SS benifits. Will the annual SS amount disqualify her? My father does not file for taxes, and currently owes for not filing. (cabbies don't deduct taxes, they make what they make, I guess) My question is, will this be a stretch to try to get them insured via my military benifits, considering their situations?""

What would the insurance cost for a citreon saxo?

I'm nearly 17 and i'm most probably getting a citroen saxo, a second hand one, something cheap. I was just wondering how much the insurance might costs roughly. Thankss""

About how much is insurance on an 18 wheeler truck ( the tractor) and about how much is a trailor 48' long

getting n2 the trucking world. expect to complete truck driving school oct 11, 2006. looking 2 start buisness or start working soon after.""

Jeep Wrangler for my 16-year old?

My daughter's 16th birthday is coming up in March, and she has been begging to have a Jeep Wrangler as her first car. As a parent, I'm a little skeptical. I've heard stories from both sides of the spectrum-- some saying that they're real donkey carts to drive, others exclaiming the opposite to be true. I've read that the gas mileage isn't all that great either, which doesn't excite me (or my wallet), and I'm not sure how safe the vehicle really is, let alone if they regularly come with problems.     She was, at first, looking at the 4-door Unlimited, but after seeing its fuel economy, is now far more interested in the 2-door Wranglers. (She would be driving this car on the highway, and in part be responsible for paying for her own gas.)    We aren't necessarily looking for a new car. A used one with a good history will suffice in her situation. She's very adamant about having this car, but I'm still unsure.     Can any Wrangler owners give me the low-down on this car?

Help on getting cheap car insurance for young drivers?

I know about multicar but i cant do that, i know about named drivers etc but is there any way i can get a decent insurance quote for a 17 year old because ive been getting 15000 quid for quotes recently. Dont tell me you cant do it thats not gonna help me, thanks""

Car Insurance price help?

I am 20 y/o, I am getting a 2002 Ford Taurus 4 door, I live in the Florida area (Miami), I have never been in any accidents I would be using the car to get to and from school and work, could you give me a quote on how much I'll have to spend a month on insurance Liablility or full coverage. Optional: could you state you age and how much you pay a month on your vehicle, and what insurance company do you deal with?""

""On average, how much does it cost professional liability insurance for a CPA?""

I want to start my own CPA practice. I am 50 yrs old. I want to know what costs are involved in the process. I am not aiming to nothing complicated. Just an accounting practice. How much does it cost, on average, the professional liability insurance for a new CPA?. I will be just myself. Thank you.""

How much for an 18 years old car insurance?

I will be turning 18 in august, and i was just wondering how much my car insurance will be. I have to wait till august to get my license, My GPA is about 3.50gpa, I'm planning on buying a used scion tc. Can someone give me a estimate how much i have to pay for 6 month insurance?""

Why isn't the Affordable Healthcare Act more like car insurance?

I'm just wondering why no one thought to copy how car insurance works to work with healthcare. Think about it, we'd save a lot on government spending. Those who buy healthcare, are covered through insurance. If you don't buy healthcare, it is up to you to buy it, and if you're asked to show proof of health insurance and don't have it, you're fined. It's simple, easy, and perfectly understandable by anyone. So.. if it works for car insurance... why wouldn't it work for health insurance?""

""Lost heath/dental insurance, anything more affordable than COBRA?

I just graduated from college and have 30 days to determind if I stay with the COBRA plan (about $350 a month) or find other insurance. I don't mind having to use in-network doctors. I'm also based in NJ if that makes a difference. Any ideas on what I can use? Much appreciated.

How much would it cost to insure a 1995-2000 Ford Mustang?

Something with around 80k-100k miles. Everything stock no mods or tuning. Not convertible. Im 18 so i know itll be a decent amount. Im going to have my dad co sign on the car to help lower the insurance. Itll be used for maybe 3 times a week and ill put maybe 5k a year on it. Im on gieco currently and they wont give me an accurate qoute and i know you wont really be able to but if you give me the same number itll be the set amount ill asume. Thanks

Should parents buy life insurance policies for their young children?

What do you think? Give good reasoning for your argument...THANKS!!!

How auto insurance works in california?

i backed up into a car today and there is no damage to my car but a dent in the others hood, and i said lets call the police and they said lets just exchange information, i said no i'd rather have them come...they said they called when i was getting something in my car and said the police said they would take a while so we decided to exchange info...i got her license but they said they didnt have the insurance info with them....but in the mean time i gave them my info...now i have a feeling that maybe they didnt have insurance and there is no police report so what can happen now?""

I am looking for a company that will help me sign up for dentical and healthy family insurance as a provider?

Can anyone help me sign up for dentical. I would like to provide service to dentical and healthy family patients in my area. I am a dentist in northern california. I am looking for a reputed company that will help me with this process. I really want to help the children in my community.

WHAT IS THE CHEAPEST CAR INSURANCE? AND THE BEST...?

WHAT IS THE CHEAPEST CAR INSURANCE? AND THE BEST...?

Cheap car insurance for 17 year olds?

I know this is probably one of the most asked questions on the here, but for me it is a real pain finding any decent answers... Id be very grateful if anyone could list insurers that are relatively cheap for car insurance for us youngsters! (Preferably under 200/month). Thanks in advance! :)""

Question about ticket and insurance rate?

I got a ticket bout a couple months ago and my cost of insurance (minimum coverage) hasnt changed. Am I supposed to notify my insurance company about my ticket or do they automatically find out on their own and then charge me extra?

I need a good a affordable health insurance plan for a family of four?

In Massachusetts, I need it ASAP""

Cheapest Car Insurance And Best car to get at 17?

Hello Guys, ive just passed my dirveing Test :D I Got a Pass Plus Witch aprently makes Insurance Alot cheaper. Anways, ive been on all the big sites such as Confused, moneysupermarket ect. And they are offering me around 8Grand for a 0.9l Fiat Cinnequento I dont want that car i just tested to see how much. I really need somewhere cheaper. so could you guys give me best car to try get insured on and where?""

What is the cost of the insurance for the car i want ?

I want a Suzuki Ignis 1.5 sport im just about to start driving wants the insurance going to cost ?

How do you compare insurance for Yamaha R6 and Ninja 300?

I just want general idea of motorcycle insurance cost between these two bikes.

19 Year Old Female & NO health insurance.. HELP!?

I am 19 years old, I am female, and I am BROKE. I live on my own. I live in Missouri. I work part time (or LESS) and only make minimum wage. I have no insurance and can't really afford any right now. I really need to visit the doctors. I've looked at a bunch of different insurance that the state offers, but unfortunately it doesn't really apply to me because i'm NOT pregnant and i DON'T have kids. What can I do? Is there anything I CAN do?""

Who has a better idea for getting health insurance companies to cover pre-existing conditions?

The problem is that, without the mandate, insurance companies won't cover people with pre-existing conditions. Otherwise, people will just wait until they get sick to buy insurance. So you have to create a system where everyone is insured -- a mandate. OK, if you don't like the mandate, how would you get insurance companies to provide affordable insurance to people with pre-existing conditions without a requirement for everyone to have insurance Your solution has to cover the situation where a person gets laid off, wants to start their own business, and needs to buy affordable individual coverage (not group coverage) for themselves and their family. You have 30 minutes. Begin....now.""

How much is insurance for a new driver that is a male with a 97 sports car?

I'm turning 16 soon and need to find out

Car insurance rates sports vs regular?

ok i've never owned a car before, im 19 and i've been insured on my parents 3 cars since i was 16, 1 being a 2005 mazda rx8. perfect driving record, no tickets, no fenders. they're going to buy me a car now, and i'm trying to get them to just give me the mazda because they want to sell it any way. They say the insurance rates would be too high. So they want me to get a shitty honda or something (which would be like the same price they would be selling this beautiful mazda for because it has 40k miles on it) So what would be the difference per month i would be paying in insurance if i were to take the mazda (which i guess is defined as a sports car) vs if i were to buy a shitty car that isn't a sports car""

Does anyone know names /links for affordable dental insurance for someone who's 66 yrs old under medicare...?

my mom is having tooth ache and she's 66, no job, poor. anyone knows of good dental insurance plan i can help her with?""

I'm 17 and have car insurance that i have to pay 240 every month. I live in philadelphia is there cheaper ones?

i got a 2000 ford taurus and my mom bought insurance since she doesn't have a car herself we had to get my own insurance plan and now we have to pay 240 every month because of my age..i need to know of any cheaper insurance for myself. plz and thank you.

Car insurance help?!?! I need advice!?

I am 20 year old single male in los angeles, california. I just bought a used 1993 toyota corolla for 1500 with financial aid money, after a tune up and some minor repairs I have 300 left in my pocket. I don't have a job, but I was planning on using this car to help me get one asap. I still need to get my car smog tested which will set me back $50 and registered which will put me back $150 leaving me with about 100 left. I don't know what to do at this point, I didn't think it would be this much. If I don't register it within 10 days am I subjective to late fees? I bought this car hoping it would help me get a job. I can barely afford gas. I have no idea what to do. I was told I need to get insurance before I can register my vehicle, which has no plates. (I got the pink slip and all the paper work) My question is what should I do, what insurance is the cheapest. If I don't register it within 10 days will I have to pay late fees? Please help me with any solutions. If I could register it next month it will save me so much grief. Is there anything I can do to make my situation easily until I find a job?""

Why is my insurance going up?

I've been working with my employer for 7 years, as of right now I have employee & spouse coverage, I pay about 150 a month (auto deduct from paycheck) and that amount gets me a $5000 deductible and about a $25-$30 co-pay. this morning in a company meeting we were told that our insurance is going to go up (starting June 1st) now for employee and spouse it is going to be $410 a month (everything else the same as before co-pay and deductible) last year my hubby had some medical issues and we have about $7000 in medical bills (on a payment plan we pay $400 a month) so now when my new rate kicks in (in about a week) I will have to pay a total of $800 a month just for medical stuff... I can't afford this. my employer is very upset and wants to shop around but has been shopping around for 8 months now and can't find anything better than this. why is health insurance rising?? I am thinking about dropping myself from health insurance all together (I am 31 and healthy), also i plan on getting rid of my cable and internet (which would save $140 a month), my husband (with medical issues) will get health insurance through his work (about $160-$200 a month) and I will go without for a couple of years just so we can keep our heads above water... I just have a question about my plan of action- can I drop my Health insurance? will I get fined for opting out of health insurance when Obamacare goes into action next year?""

Jeep Wrangler for my 16-year old?

My daughter's 16th birthday is coming up in March, and she has been begging to have a Jeep Wrangler as her first car. As a parent, I'm a little skeptical. I've heard stories from both sides of the spectrum-- some saying that they're real donkey carts to drive, others exclaiming the opposite to be true. I've read that the gas mileage isn't all that great either, which doesn't excite me (or my wallet), and I'm not sure how safe the vehicle really is, let alone if they regularly come with problems.     She was, at first, looking at the 4-door Unlimited, but after seeing its fuel economy, is now far more interested in the 2-door Wranglers. (She would be driving this car on the highway, and in part be responsible for paying for her own gas.)    We aren't necessarily looking for a new car. A used one with a good history will suffice in her situation. She's very adamant about having this car, but I'm still unsure.     Can any Wrangler owners give me the low-down on this car?

Which is the cheapest car insurance for young drivers?

Hi, I'm thinking of starting driving soon and was wondering if anyone knows which would be the cheapest option for insurance? I've tried the compare services and found a direct quote from direct line to be cheaper than any of the ones it found, at about 2200 last time I checked (I think). Does anyone know any other insurers who are cheaper or if this is the best I'm going to get? I'm 20, don't have a license yet and obviously have no no claims etc. Is http://www.4youngdrivers.co.uk/ any good? thanks people.""

All the obamacare plans probably have better benefits than your current health insurance. bad news?

September 2013 An Early Look at Premiums and Insurer Participation in Health Insurance Marketplaces, 2014 Cynthia Cox, Gary Claxton, Larry Levitt, Hana Khosla Under the Affordable Care Act (ACA), individuals and families may purchase private insurance coverage through new state-based exchanges (or Marketplaces), which are set to open in October of this year for coverage beginning January 1, 2014. In states that decide against operating their own exchanges, the federal government will either run the exchange or work in partnership with the state to create an exchange. Regardless of whether an exchange is state-run or federally-facilitated, enrollees with family incomes from one to four times the federal poverty level (about $24,000 to $94,000 for a family of four) may qualify for tax credits that will lower the cost of coverage through reduced premiums and, in some cases, also be eligible for subsidies to reduce their out-of-pocket costs. This report presents an early look at insurer participation and exchange premiums both before and after tax credits for enrollees in the 17 states plus the District of Columbia that have publicly released comprehensive data on rates or the rate filings submitted by insurers. These include eleven states operating their own exchanges and seven defaulting to a federally-facilitated exchange. Plan availability and premiums for all states are expected to be available by October 1.""

Getting insurance on a bike?

I plan on getting a motorcycle near the end of February. I have never bought a motor vehicle before, so I'm not really sure about how I go about getting insurance. I plan on getting something used from Craigslist (most likely 2008 or newer Ninja 250/300), then either having the owner ride it to my home before I pay, or taking it in a truck or something. What do I do after that? How do I insure the bike? I will probably get Progressive. Also is full coverage worth the extra money, or should I stick with liability? I'm 17 years old so it will be more expensive for me than for others. I live in California by the way. Thanks!""

Insurance Rates tied to credit score?

I just read the front page of our local newspaper regarding homeowners and auto insurance rates will be tied to ones credit score, making those with lower incomes, or problematic credit to pay even more for the home or auto insurances. The main question I have is...do you think that if ones credit improves, that the insurance companies have an adjustable rate that will decrease when ones credit score increases? I know this isn't the way it's going to happen, but what are your feelings on this plan?""

How long can I not have insurance before my car is repossessed?

This month I am not going to able to pay my car insurance due to other bills coming up. If I cancel my policy this month how long will I have before they repo my car? I live in New Hampshire.

Cheap auto insurance for students in louisana?

Cheap auto insurance for students in louisana?

Where do you get long term health care insurance quotes?

Where do people get long term care health insurance quotes? I've come across many websites but was wondering if anyone has had any particularly good experiences. I did come across http://www.ltcconnects.com which appears to compare various health care providers.

How much would a Ford Puma cost to insure?

I'm 16, taking driving lessons soon after my birthday, and I'd love to get a Puma, I know insurance is a lot... But I thought that as it's a small, 2 door car, the price might drop a bit, if maybe the price is going to be quite high (Above average for a new driver) then please suggest some other cars that are cheap to insure :) But I would really like one of these x) Also considering fuel consumption and economy :) One of these - http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201228478314260/usedcars/postcode/bn72ph?logcode=kp :) Thanks very much""

Car insurance on eclipse?

i recently had suv and a pickup truck. ar insurance is about $500 a year through farm family were on the farm policy so its a lot cheaper. I recently sold my truck (diesel) got tires of the awful gas milage (ford f-250). with the cost of diesel going way up again it was costing on empty-full $150 thats total b.s. anyway i been looking to get something with good gas milage that does not cost a lot to fill up. i have been looking into cars and taken carefully into consideration they get better milage but i have seen cars even is 20 mph accidents totaled. my next question is how much would car insurance be on a eclipse. if i did get a car i don't want a pice of junk looking old lady car i would want something that looks very nice. i was looking into the mit. eclipse/spider. was curious how much car insurance was if i stayed with farm family. i was going to call and ask them but i don't have the physical car yet and they would need to know exactly what kind of car year etc it is to give me the exact amount. I'm 22 years old with 5 years driving experience. only 1 accident. (old person was in hurry to airport for vacation told me and cop he did not think it it was needed to stop so he ran stop sign and hit me. i have owned 2 pick ups, 1 trail blazer. pickups, ad suv's fall under farm category cars don't so i am sure it would be more then what i pay now. i don't want to switch insurance either i hear horror stores with others. farm family paid me every time that week for accident repair i hear others you won't hear from them or they don't pay you or hospital bills if its needed farm family does. my spelling is not the greatest at it i got a little lazy.""

How much would car insurance cost for a Corvette?

If you are 16 years old and a Male

Motorcycle insurance in GTA?!?

Hey, I am 21 and has had motorcycle insurance now for the past 3 years and have been insured for a 2009 kawasaki ninja 250r. I am currently paying $1700 a year for insurance with td and have a perfect driving record. I want to switch my bike to a 2012 harley davidson iron 883 and just got a quote from them for $5500 a year!! I think that is ridiculous! Does anyone know of any good motorcycle insurance for harleys or are similar in age and paying less? I really want this bike but $5500 a year is nuts. I can buy a brand new ninja every year lmao.""

Car insurance excess?

Hi All, I'm new to car insurance game :). Could someone please explain the logic behnd the following? As a new driver, i got a couple of quotes around 1.5K but then i look at the excess and it shows 3K!!! What are they trying to do here? Make it impossible for me to make a claim? thank you.""

Why is my car insurance so high?

my car insurance is very high its something like 5000-10,000 and plus its only third party and the car is cheap 500 fiat punto ive checked confused several times still same prices""

Where can you read reviews on renter's insurance?

My mom just moved into this expensive high-rise building and considering the crazy amount of rent she's paying for it and all the stuff she's putting in it I think she needs insurance. How can you decide on which one to go with?

Cheap auto insurance for 18 year old?

Cheap auto insurance for 18 year old?

Crashed car 3rd party no-one else injured what to do with insurance?

I'm in my first year of driving as a 17 yr old male and i crashed damaging my car beyond repair. My insurance is only 3rd party and that cost 3200 no-one else was involved however the police,ambulance and fire were present. What shall i do, do i inform the insurance company however without making a claim? Do i scrap the car and change my insurance? What are my options to prevent the premium going even higher than it already is.""

How do I get the car insurance $$ and still keep the car?

How do I get insurance money from a total , and still keep the car? My daughter's front bumper was torn off. The wheel looks a little bent, so it could me major, could be as simple as a tie rod. The adjuster TOTALED the thing! Book value was $2000 LESS than what was stated on car by dealer. I asked insurance how this could be. They said they use NADA, not Kelly. And, they do an outside market evaluation by Standard and Poors. Plus, they go by private sale value, not retail. So all in all, she's poised to get screwed $2000. As usual, the little guy loses again. What a great country! However, 3 years ago, I totaled my vehicle and the insurance company gave me the $$ AND let me keep the car. I just don't remember how it happened! Any idea?""

Looking for a cool car but cheap on the insurance?

im 17, looking for a cool car have a budget of about 8000, but i need the insurance cheap because some of the ones i was checking out were ridiculous any ideas? thanks""

Car insurance question?

My car was in an accident (not my fault, I wasn't in it and the time) when someone plowed into the back. All signs are indicating it's totaled. She and I have no-fault insurance. Here is my questions. 1. Do I talk to the police and insurance company? 2. Do I get any money/compensation from the accident? 3. Do I go after her insurance and Do I get anything from that? 4. Or do I reach a compromise with both parties? If anybody has anymore suggestion feel free. Thanks!!!""

Question about insurance differences for regular vehicles and motorcycles?

I currently have a car through my parents car insurance but I really want to branch out on my own and get my own insurance so I've been thinking about finally pursuing my dream of getting a motorcycle. They're cheap, run well, and from what I gather insurance is very cheap. Could anyone tell me what kind of money I might save in Pennsylvania or New Jersey in comparison between a motorcycle and a regular car? Thanks.""

Insurance for 16-20 year old Male?

Hello all, I am currently 16, and i have my drivers license. I am on my parents plan and i pay about $100 a month for full coverage with my parents cars. But here is my real question, I have been saving for a while (5 years) and i have enough to buy a car i have dreamed of buying for a long time. So i am going to, but my question is what would my insurence be if i did? the car is a 2002 BMW M3 SMG. It has 76,200 Miles on it. I am paying $20,000 for it. I am going to buy it weather the insurance is $1,000 or $100. I have a job and can pay for $1,000 if needed.. so if anyone knows a estimate of what it would be, let me know. If it helps, i have had my drivers license for a month. Also after i buy it, i may just not drive it, if it is too much $$$.. so if it would go down for me when im say 17-20 let me know how much =] Here are some pictures of the car: http://picasaweb.google.com/evanesterman/2002BMWM3SMG# Thanks""

How much is the Tax penalty for not having insurance?

I lost my insurance because I didn't have enough hours. I missed open enrollment last fall and not eligible again until October 31. I heard Obama care is expensive. I also have two jobs and make around 30,000 gross pay with both jobs combined. Is the 100 a monthly penalty or a yearly penalty. Is their anyway to get around open enrollment. Maybe my Union can help?""

What is Insurance sales like?

Since I put my resume on sites like Careerbuilder and Monster I have gotten a lot of emails about insurance sales.I have been reluctant to reply to them because I am fairly young and always heard about insurance sales being boring and miserable. So I would just like to know what being an agent is like? Can you make a decent living? Is it interesting? Is it boring? What do you or a friend enjoy about it? What do you dislike about it?

Can anybody help me about car insurance?

For the last few months I've been sharing my Dad's car, I've been a named driver for that car. Now I've bought my own car, however, at the moment I cannot afford to pay the 220 starter fee to insure me on my own car just yet. So my question is, if I upgraded the insurance on my Dad's car to fully comp. Will I be covered to drive my car? I'm 17 by the way, if that changes anything. Any help will be very much appreciated.""

About how much is high point auto insurance a month?

Well, I just recently got my license and I wanted to buy a car, but my mom said that it's a bad idea and one of the reasons is because of how expensive insurance is. My friend told me her insurance- high point- is only 60 dollars a month. I'm not sure if that's true, because that sounds really really cheap. Does anyone have this or know approximately how much this auto insurance would be a month?""

Jeep Wrangler for my 16-year old?

My daughter's 16th birthday is coming up in March, and she has been begging to have a Jeep Wrangler as her first car. As a parent, I'm a little skeptical. I've heard stories from both sides of the spectrum-- some saying that they're real donkey carts to drive, others exclaiming the opposite to be true. I've read that the gas mileage isn't all that great either, which doesn't excite me (or my wallet), and I'm not sure how safe the vehicle really is, let alone if they regularly come with problems.     She was, at first, looking at the 4-door Unlimited, but after seeing its fuel economy, is now far more interested in the 2-door Wranglers. (She would be driving this car on the highway, and in part be responsible for paying for her own gas.)    We aren't necessarily looking for a new car. A used one with a good history will suffice in her situation. She's very adamant about having this car, but I'm still unsure.     Can any Wrangler owners give me the low-down on this car?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/lesser-known-auto-insurance-company-trust-worthy-jose-hart/"

[benrleeusa]

[Ilya Somin] Can We Help Save Democracy by Requiring Voters to Pass a Test of Political Knowledge?

In her new book, Edge of Chaos and in a recent op ed in the Guardian, prominent economist and political commentator Dambisa Moyo proposes a solution for the problem of political ignorance, which bedevils democracies around the world. She hopes it can help "save" democracy:

The election of Donald Trump and the Brexit referendum have together tested the limits of people's faith in democracy....

Elsewhere too the weaknesses of liberal democracies are becoming increasingly apparent: from falling voter participation rates and the unhealthy power of those funding political parties to the decline of political freedoms. This questioning of democracy is polarising politics and taking debate beyond healthy bounds. Efforts to delegitimise the electoral results are based on the premise that politicians lied and misled, leaving voters to choose on the basis of poor information or wrong information....

Ultimately, the ideal democracy is one in which as many citizens as possible vote, and the voters are armed with the most objective information....

In many democracies, including the US and UK, migrants are required to pass government-sanctioned civic tests in order to gain citizenship. So, in this vein, why not give all voters a test of their knowledge? This would ensure minimum standards that should lead to higher-quality decision-making by the electorate. The message this would send is that voting is not just a right, but one that has to be earned. Such testing would not only lead to a better-informed electorate, but also to voters who are more actively engaged.

Of course, such a system would be truly democratic only if everybody had a fair chance of casting their vote. It is vital that those with fewer life opportunities have their say, and we cannot have a system that is skewed against the worst educated, which would leave poorer people even more marginalised and unrepresented than they already are. To that end, the knowledge needed should be part of the core curriculum, with young people tested in their final year of secondary education. Governments could also organise tests for those over school age.

Moyo is absolutely right to worry about the dangers of political ignorance, which is a serious problem in democracies around the world, including both the US and the UK. She is also right to suggest that voter ignorance played a key role in both Brexit and Trump's victory in the 2016 election. It is good that she has joined the growing list of thinkers who are starting to take the problem of political ignorance seriously. Unfortunately, her proposed solution is not as compelling as her statement of the problem.

The idea of a test of voter knowledge is not a new one. Economist Bryan Caplan, a leading expert on political knowledge, proposed a "Voter Achievement Test" back in 2013 (though he would not deny the franchise to those who scored poorly, but instead reward those who score well with monetary prizes). Libertarian-leaning columnist David Harsanyi advocated a voter test in 2016. In his much-discussed book Against Democracy, Georgetown political philosopher Jason Brennan proposes a system of "epistocracy," which might, among other things, restrict the franchise to those who have adequate knowledge. I myself analyzed similary ideas in my book Democracy and Political Ignorance.

I am not opposed to voter knowledge tests on principle. Indeed, the case for excluding incompetent voters builds on our current practice of excluding children, people with severe mental illnesses, and (as Moyo notes) immigrants who cannot pass a test of civic knowledge that many native-born Americans and Britons would fail. All of these groups are barred from voting in large part because we think they lack the knowledge and reasoning skills to make good decisions at the ballot box.

But Moyo and other advocates of voter testing underestimate potential pitfalls. As I explained in my critiques of Brennan, Caplan, and Harsanyi, and in Chapter 7 of my book, the biggest problem is that we cannot trust the government to come up with an objective, politically neutral test. The more likely scenario is that the party in power would try to skew the test to favor its supporters and weed out opponents. Even if we could somehow avoid racial or ethnic bias (which is by no means guaranteed), it is difficult to forestall partisan favoritism.

Can we trust Donald Trump and the GOP-controlled Congress to come up with an unbiased test? I am sure he would welcome the opportunity to purge the voter rolls of "low-energy losers" who believe the claims of the "fake news" media. By the same token, many Democrats might be happy weed out "deplorable" right-wing voters, if given the chance to control the content of the test. Would Moyo's readers at the Guardian trust the Conservative government of Theresa May? Would Conservatives have any reason to trust Jeremy Corbyn and the Labor Party to do it, if the latter came to power?

The idea of voter testing should not be dismissed out of hand. I believe it deserves further consideration - particularly the Bryan Caplan variant, under which it would function only as a positive incentive for increasing knowledge rather than a tool for limiting the franchise. But advocates must address the problem of bias much more effectively than they have so far.

Moyo also suggests using public education to increase political knowledge, so that everyone would have a better chance to pass the test. The idea of using public education to increase voter competence has venerable roots in the liberal political tradition. Thomas Jefferson was among its early advocates. Unfortunately, it is much harder to do than it may seem. I summarized the challenge here (and more fully in my book):

Unfortunately, political knowledge levels have increased very little over the last fifty to sixty years, even as educational attainment (and spending on public schools) have risen enormously....

Perhaps the problem is that the schools are teaching the wrong things. A better curriculum might ensure that high school students don't graduate without learning basic political and historical knowledge, as many currently do. The difficulty here is that governments have very little incentive to ensure that public schools really do adopt curricula that increase knowledge. If the voters effectively monitored education policy and rewarded elected officials for using public schools to increase political knowledge, things might be different. But if the voters were that knowledgeable, we probably wouldn't have a problem of political ignorance to begin with.

Moreover, political leaders and influential interest groups often use public education to indoctrinate students in their own preferred ideology rather than increase knowledge. In both Europe (where it was established in large part to inculcate nationalism) and the United States (where a major objective was indoctrinating Catholic immigrants in true "American" values, including Protestant morality), indoctrination was one of the major motives for the establishment of public education in the first place. As John Stuart Mill feared, public education is often used to indoctrinate students in whatever ideology "pleases the dominant power in the government, whether this be a monarch, an aristocracy, or a majority of the existing generation."

Even if education policy and voter competence tests were more effective at increasing political knowledge than I am inclined to believe, It would still be extremely difficult to increase voters' understanding to the point where they could be well-informed about more than a small fraction of the many issues controlled by the modern state. In both the US and most European nations, government spending accounts for 35% or more of GDP, and the state also regulates nearly every type of human activity. If, like Moyo, we want a political system "in which as many citizens as possible vote, and the voters are armed with the most objective information" about the issues at stake in elections, we need to have a government that deals with fewer issues. The problem of political ignorance does not, by itself, justify across-the-board libertarianism. But it does suggest we should have a government ubstantially smaller and less complicated than what we have now.

[deadmantalking117]

BETTER LIVING THROUGH CHEMISTRY

I've had a very long and weird relationship with drugs. Ingesting or injecting hundreds of different chemicals into my body in an effort to fix one problem or another. A lot of time the results were some whole new problem. My brilliant newphew recently sent me a list he'd come across. It was dozens of drugs used to treat the various forms of IBD. all the different gut issues. My first shock was how long that list was.. 5,6,7 Dozen different drugs. Maybe a hundred even. My bigger shock was how many I had personally taken. That made me think of some of the others that I'd had to take for OTHER issues. I gave some thought to trying to list all the drugs I've been on over the years... but I just can't! Maybe one day.. but I just don't have the mental strength to stare down that dragon. So I'll just give you a brief history of some of my more unusual experiences. So you can began to see what might be in store for you as a newly diagnosed diseased maniac. Some of my favorites... IV CONTRAST I'm 13.. in the hospital for a whole week so they can figure out why a kid has gotten full blown migraines for years. Go for a routine xray. And they push in some IV contrast...and I can't breathe.. at all. At first I flop around like a fish. But in seconds I'm going under. Everything is going black. A doctor grabs my IV.. injects something into it... and it's like he injected air right into my lungs.. whoosh! I take several deep breaths while a nurse is massaging my chest. I learned a new word.. anaphylaxis. A severe allergic reaction. A 13 year old shouldn't have to know the word anaphylaxis! PREDNISONE AND SOLUMEDRAL Steroids used for Crohns and Arthritis.. and Cancer.. plus bunches of other things. They are a Godsend for lots of problems. But there are issues. Steroids are really bad for bones over the long haul. If I get older I will likely break bones easily. Like standing up and SNAP! easy. But an interesting side effect are the emotional issues. Steroids make your brain go to weird places. Some nights when I first get put back on them.. I don't sleep.. can't shut off the flow for a second.. too sick to DO anything.. just think.. fast. Once in the hospital I was on a bunch of IV steroids.. and for an hour, I just sobbed uncontrollably.. no reason, no emotional connection. Just trying to have a conversation with Kat or the nurses, and tears are flowing. But I couldn't make it stop. Another time at work.. I yelled at my manager for almost nothing, then stormed out. I Quit! After I calmed down.. I had no idea why I got mad to begin with. So lots of apologies. Lots of explaining about Steroids. Fortunately I have understanding friends. REMICADE I've mentioned Remicade before. For lots of people its a wonder. For some of us, a nightmare. Every couple months I'd go to the hospital to the chemotherapy ward and spend 6 hours with the cancer folks getting transfused. After about a year, I was having serious Arthritis issues. Everything was bad and I was having real mobility problems. My Rheumatologist seems completely useless for months.. lots of tests.. no actual help..as it got worse and worse. He confirms that I have RA in my hips, hands, and knees, but thats common with Crohns. And I already knew that, thanks for the new copays! My hands were turning into claws. I can barely walk. After a horrible afternoon where I tripped in my bedroom and then could not find a way back up. My daughter comes over pulls me up and takes me to the ER. A massive dose of Steroids (Godsend) and I'm almost like new for a couple weeks. But the crippling comes right back. My Sister begins sending lots of articles on line about how people are suing the manufacturer of Remicade. For the exact same problems I am having. So I called my doctor immediately and said I had to quit my next infusion.. and about 6 months later.. I'm almost back to normal. I still have damage to my hands that you can actually see.. to this day..but overall.. I'm ok. One last issue. This stuff costs something like $14,000 per dose.. for me.. that would've been between $64,000 and $100,000 per year. My wonderful doctor had to arrange a special dispensation from the manufacturer for me. TYLENOL! As I've said before. I've been on many different narcotics over the years. And honestly have never had any negative consequences from it. Only positive. I've written about this topic a bunch, and I know there are millions of people with real problems as a direct result of using narcotics... but that ain't me. I once was talking to a neighbor who was a nurse, and commented on how I was able to take lethal doses of narcotics without even getting a buzz.. not even a little buzz.. nothing. Bummer man. She says " that's soooo dangerous!" Why? I told you that I don't get high? It's just like you taking a bunch of Tylenol! She says "Tylenol IS the dangerous part!" Say what?! Most prescription narcotics, Vicodin, Percocet, Darvocet, many others are really giant Tylenol pills with other stuff thrown in. Your liver has to work overtime to deal with the Tylenol. The more you take, the more damage you do. It's like an alcoholic with cirrhosis. But without the fun parts. I was taking a dozen pills a day.. sometimes more. My liver is fine now, but I only take meds that don't include Tylenol. Mostly. It's a fine product. Just don't overdo it. 6MP One of the things they toss in to your treatment plan when other things aren't working. There are drugs like Asacol, that are usually the first "go-to" drugs. But every body is different, and some people do well with it, others like me don't seem to respond to any of them. After a few different drugs, none that made any real difference Dr. Feelgood says "we can try 6MP!" 6MP is the street name for a long chemical formula (google it if you want the real name) but the deal is this.. for some reason, it seems to do a good job reducing inflammation and Crohns flare ups. With one little drawback, it will probably give you Leukemia after a while. I'm in my late 30s, and I believe I'm going to be dead by 40. I'm sick all the time, and nothing helps. So yeah, why not? I tried it for several months, but since it too, wasn't really doing anything useful I moved on the next thing. Fortunately I still don't have leukemia. Why are doctors always trying to give me leukemia!? That's my short list, I'll probably come up with others as we go, but I wanted to use these stories to give you a couple of very important tips. GET ALL OF YOUR PRESCRIPTIONS FROM ONE PHARMACY All pharmacies have a really good system in place that check for multiple drug interactions. A pharmacist can tell you if prescription A will cause a problem for illness B. If you bounce from pharmacy to pharmacy... the right hand can't know what the left hand is doing. (See my comments about pharmacy hopping below) You could die because Doctor X prescribed you something that doesnt go with what Doctor Z just gave you. Interactions are now automatically flagged by the computer. Using one pharmacy solves that issue. Which leads me to something I've talked about before. Pharmacy hopping is a common practice for people who are drug seeking. They figure that they can get drugs easier if this place doesn't know that they're getting drugs from that place too. But thats getting harder as the data base is improved. Part of what the AHCA or Obamacare tries to accomplish is better communications among all doctors and pharmacies. So less and less people can get away with drug seeking behavior. That can go a long way towards curbing the opiod epidemic. It's also one of those pesky nuisance regulations that Congress is now trying to get rid of. KEEP AN UPDATED LIST OF YOUR MEDS ON YOU AT ALL TIMES. In you wallet or purse.. always. Its probably good advice for everyone, but especially for we diseased maniacs. A list of every prescription, vitamin, supplement, cream, suppositories. Anything besides food that you put in or on your body. You need the name, the amount, how often you take it. Be sure that every doctor you go to has the exact same list. When any one doctor changes or updates something.. tell every other doctor ( next time you see them...don't get weird). So very important! You don't want to have to try to remember this stuff off the top of your head while being wheeled into an emergency room. My wife just pulls out her copy, says "here! It's current." That's all. At each Dr appointment I pull out my copy.. hand it to the nurse.. " here! Its current." Easy peasy. TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE TAKING. Most people I think are just like me. Your doctor hands you an official looking piece of paper... you give it to a nerd behind a counter. You take your pills. Most of us just kinda do what we're told. Who am I to question this guy? He has a medical licence.. the white coat.. the clipboard. He seems to know what he's talking about. The nerd behind the counter seems ok with it. So who am I to question? You're the one who has to take this new chemical! It's very likely that the doctor does know what he's doing.. they usually do. You need to make him aware of what the other doctors are doing! Plus those holistic herbs from Tibet that your grandma says you "Have to try!" Everything. Spend a little time on the interwebs.. google the name of your prescriptions.. its so easy. Read a little of the overview. WebMD has a complete database if every prescription out there. Look up yours.. take 5 minutes to get a rough idea what this is. Its important. Go to those support sites I keep advising you to check out. See what others, who take the same prescriptions, have to say about it. Just ask! To be a successful diseased maniac... the kind who actually survive their particular ailments. Requires a little effort and some education. Make the effort, get educated. You're life is worth the effort. Be well my friends