#(i failed that even harder)

[dvrtrblhr]

dance

missing scene from my fic golden dawn this time! dimitri helps his boyfriend practice for the white heron cup.

[adhdandcomics]

perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:

does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies

[engagemythrusters]

“Anakin Skywalker was the best Jedi” uh no that was Mace Windu. Mace was the best Jedi.

[governmentmandatedryujinstan420]

releasing this from the hj discord dungeon because the public populace was in agreement also i'm chronically offline on tumblr and need to fix that for my chronically online ahh

[knowlesian]

not to project like a motherfucker on natalie berzatto but ohhhh boy the impact of a narrative that says “hey, is your desire to make sure everybody around you is okay also about you? and could that perhaps be partially a maladaptive trauma response you should look into and maybe mitigate? because if it’s a genuine question that’s fine, but if the only answer you will respond well to hearing is yes that’s a You Issue Too, Babe”

[syn0vial]

after attempting to commission art of boba fett without his helmet, i am forced to consider that a good number of artists, subconsciously or not, cannot accept that temuera morrison has always been hot despite his lack of european features, and honestly this explains a lot about the fucking travesty that is every single clone's face in TCW and TBB

[pensbridgrton]

"Colin should have grovelled more!" "Penelope folded too easily” I see this a lot and don’t agree I loved she got to tell him how hearing that made her feel and receive a true apology not just a bunch of excuses.

That being said the one thing I hated was him telling her she entrapped him. Ugh I know he was hurt but that just enraged me and broke my heart for her. Because he used her mother’s words to hurt him and she had been venerable telling him how long she had loved him. I know it was bad writing but it made me sad to see her just take it.

gonna be real with you anon - that line was actually one instance of GOOD writing, actually acknowledging colin's perspective and journey, and frankly, i wouldn't have minded if he had gone harder (and she in return!)

my biggest gripe of the season is that most of colin's inner revelations in part 2 - a very internal, emotional journey - were never shown to us but told to us after the fact. i wish we had more of his journals or conversations with characters that weren't cressida in the middle of a blackmail scheme (violet! or even penelope herself!) because him verbalizing that emotional journey would have worked better than just seeing him post-realization.

but i'm gonna be real, everything colin said or did in part 2 makes absolute sense TO ME (especially when you pull internal dialogue from RMB) so yeah... idgaf abou the entrapment line.

[metanarrates]

i just don't see the urge to protect your kids at all costs as a) inherent to all parents or b) necessarily admirable even if it is present. it CAN be absolutely admirable if it drives the parent to be a better person or to support their children's wellbeing in genuine ways. it can also lead to parents being abusive and controlling because of their urge to "protect!" it's actions that matter, not emotions or the lack thereof

[winryrockbellwannabe]

DRIVING THEORY FINALLY DONEEEEEEE😎😎😎

[braisedhoney]

some tragic love stories be like: if i could bottle the galaxy, i would pour it into a cup so it would be easier for you to drink. do you want them? do you want the stars? or do they suit you better as adornments for your eyes than glitter on your lips?

but they don’t want the stars. they don’t want the galaxy. but how can they not? is that not enough? (it’s too much, that’s the problem. it’s too much.)

[rayless-reblogs]

"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."

CS Lewis, The Four Loves

[razzle-zazzle]

Whumptober Day 26: Nightmares

"I'm haunted by the lies that I have loved, the actions that I have hated." -Poe, "Haunted"

2406 Words; Spiritshipping AU, takes place at various points during Possession and Tournament of Elements

TW for mentions of past death, past suicide

AO3 ver

Cole slid across the ice, unable to float on it like Morro could.

He cursed as he lost his footing, phasing into a wall before he came to a stop. He was a dancer! Balance was his thing! Why was this stupid ice giving him trouble!

At least the ninja were having similar troubles traversing the caves leading to the First Master’s tomb. Cole could take some comfort in that—which was strange, really, to not be the only one struggling. Since emerging from the Cursed Realm, he’d been behind in every way, not quite on par with the ninja. Not a part of their team, an incongruous piece that didn’t quite fit.

+=+=+=+=+

“Oh, screw this.” Cole walked through the wall, leaning against it as the ninja yelled and tried to avoid the beast inside. After a moment, he walked back to the door, grabbing at the lock.

“Hmm…” Cole wasn’t exactly an expert locksmith… “Guys, how do I open this?” He shouted, as the lock failed to give way under his strength.

It was Jay who reached the door first. “Wh—you’re a ghost!” He shouted. “Be the key!”

“Oh, right!” Cole kept forgetting he could possess things. Even though Morro was actively possessing Lloyd—Cole still wasn’t quite used to the idea that he could just… take over. Possession wasn’t something that was possible in the Cursed Realm.

Cole pressed his palm against the lock, and concentrated.

+=+=+=+=+

Sure, he’d been really helpful to them, putting his ghostly abilities to use to help them get the scroll of airjitsu and the Sword of Sanctuary, while doing everything he could to get the ninja out of scrapes along the way. He’d even thrown a rock at Morro once—though Morro had pretty easily slammed it down with a burst of wind.

But all of that was nothing against what the ninja had gone through together. Cole had heard the stories—Jay loved to talk off the ears of anyone near enough to listen. The Devourer, the Overlord, the Overlord Again, Chen’s cult—and Cole had been there for only the tail end of that last one, when Chen’s mage had summoned him from the Cursed Realm just to steal his power over earth. Cole just wasn’t a ninja.

He wasn’t truly part of the group.

+=+=+=+=+

Cole phased through another wall, trying not to panic.

Barely a few minutes ago, he’d been in the Cursed Realm, and now he was here, in some… underground maze? Completely bereft of his powers, thanks to that weird staff. Which wasn’t a huge deal, Cole had lived most of his life without any geokinesis whatsoever—

But he certainly wasn’t going to go back to the Cursed Realm empty-handed. It was an insult to his pride, really—and that everyone here was trying to send him back to the Cursed Realm was nerve-racking; what if the next wall he walked through led him straight to water? He had no way to know—

Cole stopped. This was different. It was a cell, if the chains were any indication. But the prisoner wasn’t quite like anything Cole had ever seen before; metal in place of the normal skin and flesh.

“Uhh…” Cole started. “Hi?” Should he leave? He should probably leave—

“Hello.” The automaton’s voice was pleasant, “You’re new.”

“Just got yanked out of the Cursed Realm.” Cole muttered, and then, “Who are you anyway? I thought robots were only in science fiction.”

“I am Zane; also, I am an nindroid, not a robot.” Zane answered. “What is your name?”

“Cole.” Cole offered, moving to sit down in front of Zane. “So you’ve been screwed over by these weirdos, too?” Something like sympathy twinged in Cole’s chest, even as Zane’s eyes widened at Cole’s statement.

“You…” Zane looked Cole up and down, expressive face showcasing a concern that made Cole uncomfortable. “Did Clouse kill you?” He sounded horrified by the mere thought.

Cole barked out a surprised laugh. “No! No, I was already dead when I got pulled here.” He reassured. “They just waved a stick in my face and stole—” He cut off, unsure if he should mention the whole “master of earth” thing. “A thing. From me.”

“Oh.” Zane’s concern vanished—something Cole was much more used to. “My own elemental powers were stolen as well.” He added, “I was not aware ghosts could retain their elemental powers.”

Morro had given Cole a crash course on elemental power and how it was inherited. “Well, I wasn’t aware nondroids could inherit elemental power, so I guess that makes us even.” He shrugged

Zane smiled. “I suppose it does.” He stared past Cole for a moment, apparently lost in thought or something.

Cole hmmed. He apparently had a lot in common with this guy. “Well, this is getting boring.” He stood, and walked over to the chains holding Zane’s wrists. “Whaddya say to breaking out of here and getting our powers back?”

Zane grinned. “That would be nice.”

+=+=+=+=+

But that was fine, wasn’t it? Cole was never going to be a ninja in the first place. He knew where his loyalties were. Who his loyalties were.

You are doing so well, little Geode.

Cole shuddered, then walked over to where the ninja were admiring their reflections. Apparently, the ice could show someone’s future, and Jay was crowing about how cool his eyepatch looked and how gorgeous Nya was.

Cole glanced at the ice, not really expecting much—he was dead, after all. He’d probably just see the Preeminent—

Cole froze in place.

+=+=+=+=+

“I got the scroll!” Cole exited the temple as easily as he’d entered it, scroll of airjitsu in hand. The sun was beginning to rise, bright golden light piercing through Cole’s translucent body. Of course, he’d been out of the Cursed Realm for a few days by now, so the sunlight piercing through him wasn’t anything new.

The three ninja cheered as Cole passed the scroll over to Zane, Jay slinging an arm over Cole’s shoulders. “You better slow down on showing us up, or Kai’ll get jealous!” He joked, as Zane read over the scroll.

Kai scoffed, then turned his attention to Cole. “You’re doing good, kid. We’ll make a ninja out of you yet.” He praised, making Cole duck his head, flustered.

+=+=+=+=+

That…

“Cole, what’s your reflection?” Zane asked.

Cole stared at his reflection. It was very green, he’d certainly expected that. And Morro was in it, which was a given. The Preeminent was a bit lacking, but maybe she was just too big to fit in the frame. Yeah. It was probably that.

“I don’t see anything different.” Cole lied, crossing his arms over his chest. “Just… me.” Even though the reflection looked older, and more sure of himself in a way that was making Cole feel distinctly uncomfortable—

A feeling in the rock beneath the ice made Cole turn away from the wall, looking down the tunnels they had come through. “...guys?” He started, sinking down into the ice to connect with the stone a little better. The moment he did, he knew—

Time was up.

Morro had arrived.

+=+=+=+=+

“Cole?”

Cole looked up at the sound of Nya’s voice, finding her standing in the doorway. “Hey.” he greeted, leaning back on the bed he was sitting on. The comforter wasn’t color-coded like the other beds, so it had been loosely assigned to him since his arrival.

“You doing okay?” Nya asked, crossing the distance between them to sit next to Cole on the bed. “Kai said you really helped in getting the scroll, but you’re not celebrating with everyone else.”

Cole shrugged. “I’m fine.” He responded, not really looking at her. “Just… thinking.”

“Penny for your thoughts?” Nya prompted, expression open. Trusting.

(Trust that Cole didn’t deserve.)

Cole leaned back. “It’s just… those three. They work well together, don’t they?” His eyes closed, the image of green-streaked dark hair and vicious smirk filling his mind’s eye. “They’re a team. And I’m…” He scoffed. “I’m just me.” He let himself fall back all the way until he was lying on the bed, legs hanging off of it as he stared at the ceiling. “I was attending a performing arts school when I died—I’m not—I can’t do the cool things they do.”

Nya chuckled. “But then you find out you’ve had an element all along, and suddenly you’re supposed to be a part of the group.” She finished the thought Cole was working up to, if not exactly in the terms he would have used. “I get it, Cole, believe me, I do.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Cole agreed. “But… I mean, look at you!” He gestured at Nya. “Even before this Master of Water stuff, you were Samurai X! You’ve always been cool, Nya.”

“But I’ve never been a ninja.” Nya pointed out. “And you’re pretty cool yourself, you know.” There was an emotion in her eyes that Cole couldn’t quite discern, something like concern in the twist of her lips that made him uncomfortable.

Cole snorted. “If you say so.” He could see the parallel, he really could. But—

They are not your family, Geode.

But Cole never would be a part of the team. Not really.

+=+=+=+=+

The tomb was chaos! Everyone slipping and sliding on the ice like a bunch of—had Jay grabbed an icicle to swordfight Morro with?

Oh, huh, so he had. Points for improvisation, Cole supposed—and Jay had proven to be very good at improvising. Almost scarily so—Cole didn’t look forward when that same improvisation would be turned against him.

Geode…

The Preeminent pricked at his mind, her presence clouding his perception. She was speaking to him, urging and crooning, and Cole let her cradle him. The fight had advanced while he was out of it—the ninja had found the Realm Crystal, and Morro was offering Lloyd in exchange for it. Cole moved to stand behind Kai and Zane as Kai offered up the Realm Crystal.

Cole wasn’t exactly keeping close track of things—how could he, when Morro was right there watching if Cole messed up? How could he, when the boy Morro had taken as host and anchor looked so… frail?

But… Cole’s eyes caught on dark hair and a vicious smirk. He knew where his loyalties lied. He would never truly be a ninja—but he could at least be loyal to his first real friend.

The ninja still had the Realm Crystal, though Jay was holding it now. Morro was starting to let go of Lloyd at Kai’s direction—

Cole lunged, a spike of rock knocking Zane aside as he phased through Jay to grab the crystal. Zane and Jay yelled, lightning and ice at their fingertips, but—

“Hey, Breezy!” Cole called out, “Catch!”

+=+=+=+=+

That had been easy. Startlingly so.

It was almost like they weren’t expecting the ghost from the Cursed Realm to stab them in the back. Which… probably said more about their willingness to trust Cole than it did about their intelligence.

Cole wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

“C’mon.” Morro urged, dragging Cole along. They had escaped into the Cursed Realm together, and were heading for the Preeminent, which was singing praises directly into Cole’s skull. Since Cole couldn’t really fly, Morro was sort of carrying him, holding Cole aloft by his shoulder as they flew along.

“What, no ‘thank you for getting me the Realm Crystal, Cole’?” Cole rattled off the barb and the impression easily, comfortably—and without any real energy.

Morro scoffed. “Thanks.” He offered, grip on Cole’s shoulder tightening. “I mean, I could have managed without you—” He cut himself off with a huff, and turned his attention back to flying along.

Cole sighed. The expressions on the ninja’ faces when he had betrayed them—

(Kai attempting to ruffle his hair after Chen’s apparent defeat—

The way Jay’s face would morph through expression after expression as he rambled, as though he was personally experiencing the stories he was telling—

Lloyd moving to try and shove him out of the way of a spilled cup of tea, laughing after phasing through Cole and falling flat on his face—

Zane explaining spinjitsu to Cole in a way that actually made sense—

Nya offering encouragement in that quiet moment in the bunks—)

It… stung. It wasn’t supposed to do that, to hurt. Cole was supposed to stick by the ninja until the time was right, and then return to Morro—

(Morro stumbling through an explanation of elemental powers—

Morro letting Cole rant about all the ways that his ballet instructor had sucked at his job—

Morro in Lloyd’s body, snarling in Wu’s face about all the ways that the sensei had failed him—

Morro laughing as he soared on the winds, moving through the skies like a dance—

Morro in Lloyd’s body, as vicious and cutthroat as ever, doing his best to throw the ninja off the mountain—)

“Hey, rocks-for-brains.” Morro poked Cole with his free hand. “Why’re you all mopey? We won.”

“We haven’t won yet.” Cole pointed out, reaching up to flick at Morro’s face. “And I’m not moping.”

“You’re definitely moping.” Morro refuted. “Is it because I wasn’t thankful enough? Or—” his expression turned serious, for a moment, “is the Mother giving you trouble?”

“It’s none of that.” Cole admitted. “I just… I almost can’t believe it.” He finally settled on his answer. “We got the Realm Crystal.” And they only had to commit so many atrocities to do it.

Morro’s eyebrow quirked, before he shrugged and started to descend. The Preeminent was still a ways away, but her presence was still very strong. They landed, Morro fishing through his bag to retrieve the Realm Crystal. He stared at it for a moment, that same vicious smirk that made Cole want to bite something and hold his hand simultaneously playing across his face.

Morro moved to walk to where the Preeminent could see them—

“Wait.” Cole grabbed his arm, making Morro pause. “I just… I’m…” He fumbled for the exact words, not quite able to express himself past the sudden knot in his chest. “Meeting you made killing myself worth it.” He said, painfully sincere. Immediately, he wanted to take the words back and bury himself in the ground.

Morro’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second. He recovered his aplomb, shrugging off Cole’s admission. “You’re not half bad yourself, Cole.”

That… Cole nodded. That settled it, then. Thinking about the ninja still hurt, but—

Cole knew exactly where his loyalties were.

[feppepurin]

hi guys i miss y'all but school is draining so much of my energy right now i just have to make it to friday and then i'll have the resources to go online and be silly again. have a good day or night or evening

[phopollo]

I'm not sure if maybe I'm just unlucky here, or maybe there's like.... something wrong with a larger system?

But why have I taken 5 Spanish classes and only managed to learn anything in one of them? And why is the college class the one I've learned the least in?

[x22817]

Today turned out to be a pretty horrid day. I woke up with reasonable symptoms until I wanted to celebrate my birthday with a cinnamon roll that triggered fuckin everything from my gastritis to my RA which in turn triggers my Addisons. My partner and I had our biggest argument in months. So rather than Hek and I going to the Halloween event downtown, I cried all morning. I was booked from 3-9pm until almost half of my clients canceled on me this morning. One of the few clients who didn't still hasn't paid.

[doerot]

Ok and on that while I do think having the Option to switch ryan and kaitlyn in chapter 7 would have made a more interesting game, I do value time with the bestie and dylan/kaitlyn bonding time was the best part of the game imo