#(i don't think we actually get to know what he's cooking?)

[lostinlovingrevery]

Logan and his... "Quirks"

Everyone is a lil weird. Logan is no exception

Some nsfw headcanons below the cut, it gets weird yall. some are tame. the rest are questionable. You're gonna ask me why i was thinking about it. you don't want to know

he CANNOT sit farthest away from the door. he has to be between the door and you. yknow in case of threats

feel like he would hate microwaves. idk why, i think he would extremely distrust the idea of food being heat up by radiation (Even if it wouldn't affect him?). he cooks everything by hand.

Don't let him catch you heating your food by microwave. He'll get pissy. then he'll make your food by scratch

uses phrases that were popular like 100+ years ago that no one knows. you've had to google some of them to figure out what the hell he was talking about

he taps his fingers alot. against a table, his leg, on you. it's an anxious thing

he doesn't laugh much but when he does it's loud, hes the epitomy of the word "guffaws" bc he's so loud. most of the time when you hear him "laugh" its a quiet chuckle. it's quite joyous to hear Logan across the mansion laughing

logan, as much as he acts like a wild man, is fairly neat. like, weirdly neat about his stuff. well- stuff he cares about. his jacket, his cigars, beer, maybe a few things you gave him. he doesn't need much.

this one isn't so weird, more cute- but he loves when you pet his head. only when it's just you two though

his nails grow faster than an avg person. He constantly has to clip them. BUT he does at least make sure to clean them up

i should add that logans is obv known for calling everyone bub, and gives nicknames to everyone

(he'll call you every petname in the book)

has to have his bed made in the mornings. he gets weirdly cranky if he or you don't make the bed and it's messy when going to bed that night (the man leaves his dirty laundry all over the room but doesn't like his bed not being made???)(nesting...)

hates the smell of incense (too strong) but he doesn't mind a few of the vanilla smelling candles. or the outdoorsy type ones

def will pick up new hobbies at random and then drop them (ahem i do that to)

doesn't finish his beer. he'll have a little left and go open a new one anyway

he acts like he's so gruff but he's actually like so polite about things when in someones house/the mansion. it takes you aback how nice he'll be. (x2 logan was just a bit stress don't worry about him raiding bobbys parents fridge)

ill add his fear of flying in here too

honestly he probably just doesn't like heights in general. he'll do it, go in tall buildings, planes, all of that (as well as we all seen) but don't catch him sightseeing out of the 70th floor of the skyscraper yall are in

he probably likes to wear all those layers because he doesnt let his hair grow out like he could. have you seen how much hair he can get? he keeps himself trimmed for you (if you want to call it that). the layers protects from the cold he gets from not being a hairy beast (let him be hairy)

oral fixation... i'll put this in nsfw

this isn't really weird...but he's able to sit in silence for a long time. just watching the view (you)

hes not an early bird. he'll get pissy if you are, because he wants you in bed with him. (people gotta work logan...)

leaves a clean plate of food. he doesnt like waste.

likes to grab you. hes gotta be holding onto you. even if he's single he's gotta be doing something (smoking, tapping his foot, leaning on someone), when he's with you though, you're his grounding.

NSFW

will drool during sex. he tries to control it. sometimes you feel too good though-

gets incredibly horny after missions. good luck.

also when after he goes into a burst of rage. good luck with that too

honestly he just has a high sex drive. he's a bit of a freak. it's not every time but rarely does he not get hard around you- at the scent of you

The moment you wake up in the morning, logan tells you "your period started" before you even have a chance to even fully wake up, only to realize that indeed you did start your period

he could smell it

dude is really intense about smelling

when it comes to you though he's REALLY intense about it. you know how dogs are when they smell you after you come home. logan is no different

can and WILL smell your armpits and feet if he gets the chance. it may gross you out but shits heavenly to him because thats where you smell the strongest. if you don't let him smell you he'll go for the laundry

your neck too

the man leaks so much pre-cum just at the thought of you. you'd think he came right there in his pants

does not care about you walking into him in the bathroom. he has no shame

honestly id think he'd like footjobs. not because he's got a feet thing- but like feet is where your strongest smells come from and if you...do that. his thang will smell like you

will eat you out and do you on your period btw. no shame

i don't think logan will say no to much in bed, except for the really disgusting ones, or the ones inviting other people in. he's not going to share you, or himself.

definitely has a thing about mounting you. he doesn't do it all the time but sometimes he'll lose himself and next thing you know is biting your neck and thrusting you doggy style, grunting and whining, and he won't stop till he's satisfied. the others have expressed worry over the deep teeth marks in your neck (Is he trying to maul you? - Scott)

doesn't like washing the bed sheets after you two do your thing. will complain but you have to bc you both are fairly active together in that department and you do not need your bedsheets become solid like rock. he just likes the scent :(

loves it when you lick his hands/knuckles

i think we all agree, the claws COME OUT when he cums. hes extremely careful about his hand placement bc of this.

back to oral fixation. if he doesn't have a cigar, toothpick, gum, his next best thing is you.

will SUCK on your skin. hard.

This is all i got for now, some probably really aren't a quirk but my brain was just typing what I could think of...might make more. Feel free to reblog and add your own!!

pain kink. a bad one. we all agreed on this i believe.

You know how animals have displays to attract mates? Logan is no different. When hes in the mood, hell puff himself out to you, do things he thinks youll like. I mean, i suppose avg males do this too but logan gets repetitive over it until you notice.

[hugheses]

I think there was a bit before this but this is most of it.

Transcript below cut

[Cole]

Yeah, I mean, I think both of our older brothers played together growing up, so I think somewhere along the way we met. But I think I played a tournament in Toronto with the Bulldogs, with Jack, and that was kind of the first time I was like, I think I'm a pretty bad hockey player. But, I mean, the whole family's great.

They love the game, they're so passionate about it, but obviously from any age you knew Jack was going to be something special.

[Amanda]

What was it about the way he played from that young age that you could see that? Because you're not such a bad player yourself, too, you know?

[Cole]

I mean, just the way he skated. He could always handle the puck well, move the puck well, but I think it's just like the skating talent, everybody at that age could kind of move around, but he was like, probably skated the same way he does now, just a little bit slower back then. You know, he's very special, and it's cool to see how far he's come, but for sure always special to watch.

[Amanda]

And I know that you guys speak to each other, you're still really good buddies, right? So tell me what the Hughes brothers are like when they're up at their cottage. I've heard the stories, the boat, the house, all that.

What's it like when you guys get away together, away from this game?

[Cole]

I mean, it's pretty much anything that we can play a game at. I mean, I just moved five minutes away from their place, so it's even worse than it was. I mean, they're just chill guys.

I mean, they like to compete or whatever, but surprisingly really good cooks and guys that take care of themselves. Obviously, it's always fun being on the boat and kind of messing around, but I think at the end of the day, everybody's just looking out for each other and having a good time. But summertime is fun for sure.

[Amanda]

They are very competitive, as I'm sure you are as well. So what brings out the most competitive spirit? Is it pool?

Is it something, you know, water ski- What is it that brings out that summer competitive spirit the most that gets a little heated?

[Cole]

Yeah, I mean, obviously that pool table's gotten the most use I've ever seen out of something. It's a chalkboard with so many names about how many wins they have. It's either that, ping pong.

Otherwise, we're on the boat. But some nights can get a little bit more fun than that. But again, everything's just out of fun.

I think we've got a good group of guys over there, and everybody just likes hanging out with each other.

[Amanda]

And what's Luke like away from the arena? I mean, he's got a real competitive drive too, and I've heard that he is the best at pool. He's shaking his head, by the way, for people who can't see.

Cole is shaking his head. Is he actually the best at pool?

[Cole]

Yeah, I mean, he's tough to beat. I think everybody's chasing him. I mean, I think he's got his own pool stick.

I don't want to confirm that, but I want to say everybody's chasing him down. If you don't know that, he'll probably tell you. No questions asked.

He's also a guy who never stops eating.

[Amanda]

You know his nickname is Rusty, right? Do we know where that originates? I mean, obviously I know it's from Ocean's Eleven and Brad Pitt's character, Rusty, who in every scene he's always snacking on something or whatever, but it's kind of crazy.

[Cole]

I think he's going to fill himself out pretty well moving forward here.

[Amanda]

And then just as friends, what do you enjoy most about competing against them?

[Cole]

I mean, honestly, they're really special at what they do. They love what they do. It's pretty cool to be able to get to train with them and kind of compete against the best, and that's kind of what you want.

So to be around them, golf with them, do whatever, it's definitely good to just stay competitive in the offseason, but also have guys like that you can lean on and talk to throughout the year.

[Amanda]

All right, we'll do this quickly. Out of the three of you, we'll leave Quinn out of this because he's not involved here. So out of the three of you, who is the best wakeboarder?

[Cole]

Jack.

[Amanda]

Who drives the boat the best?

[Cole]

Probably Jack, too. Luke's pretty good, but I think everybody's more comfortable when he's not behind the wheel. Do you have your boating license? Are you able to?

I've driven their boat a couple times, yeah. I've got to get one for myself, but I probably trust myself more than Luke.

[Amanda]

Best baseball player, if you play?

[Cole]

Me, 100%.

[Amanda]

You?

[Cole]

Yeah, we used to play in high school. I know they all played growing up, but for sure me. We'll have to settle that this summer in a batting cage or something.

[Amanda]

Do you guys play basketball at all together?

[Cole]

Oh, yeah, we used to play two-on-two, one-on-one. If a guy gets out of hand, I think me and Alex Turcotte won a two-v-two this summer. We beat Luke, which is surprising.

Getting him down low, it's tough to defend, but you can get him moving on the outside. You can't keep up. He for sure got his fair share of points on me down low, which is not fun.

[Amanda]

Two-on-two, who is Luke? Is it Luke and Jack? Is it Luke and Quinn?

[Cole]

I don't know who he was with. I mean, we have a huge group, like Larkin, Norris. Glendening, too.

We had a bunch of guys that were just like dogs in a paint. It was crazy. Me and Turcs won, and I was like, there's no way we just did that.

We needed to be on the shelf for two weeks afterwards. That was probably the most sweat I've ever had today, for sure.

[Amanda]

Lastly, Ellen has told me this story, how when they were growing up, that Ellen and Jim used to tell Quinn and Jack, please just try and pass the puck to Luke once in a while. Let the guy do it once in a while. I know you're laughing there.

What does that tell you about these brothers, that family? Does that not check out when it comes to Luke and the boys?

[Cole]

Yeah, I mean, obviously, being the younger brother, I'm a younger brother, too. That's just how it is. But now I think everybody's old enough that it's kind of getting out of the question a little bit.

But he for sure is always the last one for stuff. I feel like I always hear Ellen kind of tell him, just get Luke in on something. Get Luke involved a little bit more.

But Luke's great, a really good human being, to be honest with you. Definitely needs a little bit more respect, I think. And I'll give it to him this summer, for sure.

But I think he's being able to move into the house this year. Now that he's played a couple more games, so that's huge.

[Amanda]

Thanks, Cole. Really appreciate it.

[lesbianalanwake]

Severance S2E2:

--holy shit. I see why the season is 10 episodes instead of 9. two episodes to resolve the S1 finale and wind up to the pitch. there was so much legwork in this episode, and so much tension that I could barely sit still.

--I hope they paid Milchick a big overtime bonus in addition to his new salary!!! man did all that in 48 hours!!!

--Mark and Devon.... Mark being in denial about the possibility that Mark S could have been talking about Gemma, when we later see that it's been weighing on him heavily and he needed to talk to Cobel to confront it. it's such a small, small hope.... if he believes in the possibility that Gemma is alive, and it turns out that she is not, it would destroy him completely, and he's already come so close to destroying himself while grieving the first time. but Devon! Devon is so sharp! she knows her brother, and she glimpsed a younger, lighter version of her brother that she hasn't seen in a long time, and she clocked his tone and body language and everything about the situation correctly! and she can't live with the unanswered question of whether Gemma could be alive, because she misses her sister-in-law and misses who her brother used to be! she can't stop thinking about it while Mark is doing everything in his power to not think about it! aaaaah!

--Cobel bookending this episode by being as unhinged and mysterious as ever. we don't even know if she accepted the advisory council position! what is she up to! the final scene is so fucking good because I was like "I bet she's thinking about hitting Mark with her car," and then she screams like a bat out of hell and almost does just that LMAO. and she's still telling him to quit, even though Lumon is doing something significant with Gemma and "Cold Harbor," enough that they need Mark back to finish it, and Cobel knows what it is and wants something from it, and now Mark knows for sure that Gemma is alive because he needed to look Cobel in the eye and ask. I love their weird fucking dynamic. she's so fucking mad at Lumon, but maybe cares about Mark in her own unhinged way?? and his feelings were HURT that she lied to him because he went straight for the only thing that could maybe hurt her feelings a little bit in turn ("I ate your shitty fucking cookies").

--makes me hope that Cobel gets a "villain turned weird ally" arc, and that Milchick is right behind her, because he's already getting a taste of how thankless the severed floor manager position is, getting no guidance beyond "let Kier guide your heart" and having to defend the feat he managed to pull together in 48 hours.

--which brings me to: HELENA. HELENAAA. class traitor arc INCOMING. the "behind the scenes" bit reinforced this too: she is living in a gilded cage (the shot of her on the top floor with the windows acting as bars!) and seeing that her innie of all people gets affection and respect in a way that she never has, and she is enthralled. you can do it baby! I hope you kill your dad!

- I'm glad they clarified that the correct term for complex innie/outie romantic dynamics is "throuple" because Mark/Helly is finally compelling. by itself = eh. as part of Helena's development and possibly some kind of villainous fixation that can't possibly end well no matter how you slice it because Mark/Mark S is also going through a throuple thing with his dead wife who is actually alive, and don't think I've forgotten whatever thing that Helena and Milchick had going on in S1 (which is the only thing I was missing from this ep and hope they revisit) = now we're cooking with gas. not to mention Burt spying on Irving! throuples for days.

--tentatively believing that it really is Helena down there, and they sent her to play the part of Helly R to keep Mark complacent so that Cold Harbor gets finished, because Helly is too much of an unpredictable wild card but Helena is controllable (for now!). which would add another juicy flavor to Mark/Helly. they really did it, they really made the ship pop.

--it is so, so compelling how innies/outies are opposites. Helly is bold and rebellious, Helena is calm and subservient. Mark S is sweet and mild-mannered, Mark is cold and sarcastic. Dylan G is confident and driven, Dylan George is nervous and hesitant. Irving B is obedient and proper, Irving Bailiff is defiant and unconventional. and yet! bits of the other shine through, and we see it more and more, and they're slowly but surely on a collision course.

--the Good Doors interviewer says "you remind me of myself" and looks like Dylan, and I love this show because I can't tell if it's to continue the visual motif of doubling/reflections and show a "what could have been" path for Dylan, or if it's because there is truly something FUCKED going on across this whole town. or both.

--Lumon is in such a precarious position. they're a major global corporation, and they have politicians in their pocket, but there is also a lot of hostility and mistrust from the general public, enough to make a severed employee unhireable. (which further entraps their employees and keeps them dependent on Lumon.... Dylan. 😭) Lumon has to walk a fine line to continue, uh, whatever it is they're doing, without turning the public against them in a way that they couldn't recover from, hence the placating attempts at damage control. but all it would take would be a sufficiently strong spark to light that powder keg.

--because like, man.... I hope Helena and Cobel and Milchick all get their "fuck you Lumon" arcs. god. so many threads poised to unravel out of control and snap with the right push because the line that Lumon is walking is THIN. they do the most to try to control their severed employees, but they seem to take their non-severed employees for granted, and I'm wondering if that will be their undoing.

[cherryblossompink303]

Patience *BONUS CHAPTER*: ~The last night in the beach house!~

➼ pairing: Kyoya Ootori x Reader ➼ summary: You and Kyoya have to spend one more night at the beach house....alone. ➼ what to expect:  ➼ warnings: None

The beach house is quiet this morning, the rest of the house club had returned home the previous night. For reasons you didn't quite understand Kyoya had to stay there another night, meaning you also had to stay there.

As much as you bizarrely enjoyed your time with the host club you had to admit the tranquility of the almost empty beach house was something you enjoyed, taking in the sights from one of the bay windows.

It was a far cry from your home on the other side of the world. Although it has been so long since you've been there it feels almost fictional to you.

"Taking in the sights?" Kyoya nearly scared you out of your skin, deadly quiet as he snuck up behind you "Your family certainly chose a good spot" he hummed in agreement "What can I say? Good taste runs in the family" You laugh through a hum, leaning against the wall. "I was just coming to ask what food you want to order in? I've decided to give the kitchen staff the night off since it is just the two of us here"

"That is very...kind of you, Kyoya" You smile, that is not a move you had expected Kyoya to take, he would never admit it but Tamaki has been rubbing off on him. When you think over the question an idea sneaks into your mind "Forget ordering food though."

He raises an eyebrow "Huh?" you nod over your shoulder for him to follow you, walking down the hallway toward the kitchen "You still want to learn about my home country?" Kyoya, who catches up with you, a smile taking over him as he realised what you were getting at.

The door to the kitchen swings open with a squeak. "You're going to cook?" Kyoya questions as you search through the kitchen "no" You laugh, taking ingredients from the pantry. "WE are going to cook"

Kyoya could laugh, he cannot name a time that he has ever actually cooked, he has never needed to. You catch on to his thought process just from the look on his face "Kyoya just because we are rich does not mean we aren't above cooking for ourselves, it can be fun"

Kyoya shakes his head, leaning against the counter. "I cannot see why, it is just a necessary process to feed yourself, I don't see why one would do it if they do not need to" you roll your eyes "You say that because you've never tried it, trust me, it'll be easy"

Kyoya picks himself up, "Fine" he huffed, you hand him a knife "You can chop the panchetta" you had to admit that there was something quite entertaining to you about bossing Kyoya around, knowing it is a rare occasion.

"Do you miss home often?" You pause at the question, not looking up from the hob. "I...yes...well, I miss the country, my town" you reply, placing the pasta in the pot. "I must admit that while I have enjoyed my time here Japan has yet to feel like home to me"

Kyoya nodded knowingly, moving to ouran had been a big change for you, and a rough transition. In a strange way being a part of the host club helped with that. Yet lately it has felt different, slightly more comfortable. Things were changing.

"Are you going back for the summer break?" Noticing that he had finished chopping the panchetta you take it from him to fry "No, I'm going to Karuizawa instead, here" You crack an egg into a bowl in front of him, showing him the rest "Karuizawa? Why go there?"

"I...have something I need to do there" you smile, taking the bowl. "Anyway, we need to mix in the cheese" kyoya squinted at you while you made the sauce. "Would you mind draining the pasta?" You look over your shoulder at him, distracted by mixing.

Kyoya looked slightly clueless as he clumsily figured out exactly what to do. Eventually you manage to pull together two dishes for the both of you, sat up on the counter as you eat. "I...I don't think I ever said thank you by the way" He raises an eyebrow, eyes lighting up as he tastes the dish "What for?"

"You know what for, I had a conversation with your father today" his face fell into one of horror "your 'duty of care' is to keep me from being physically harmed, nothing else. which means that everything else..."

"y/n." His voice was somehow weak and stern at the same time, cutting you off but the message had already gotten across, it was too late. "It's fine, you don't have to acknowledge it, I don't even need to if you don't want me to, but thank you anyway"

"You're...welcome" he cleared his throat, you giggle at his mildly flustered state. at it was then that you realised exactly what was happening here. This was a hang out, you two were hanging out. When did that happen? Since when was that a thing that the two of you do?

Things were changing. Things ARE changing. You two are no longer two colleagues who sit at the the same table for coffee anymore, only talking if it is for business. It was a strange notion, a strange feeling, but you didn't hate it.

Next time on patience 'A day in the life of the L/N family!'

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[rintarosluvr]

𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐂𝐊

• Sylus x Reader

Topics: flashbacks to your first kiss, Y/n being jealous, unspoken feelings and angst!

Note : none of :)

Word count: 4k

Chap.3

Chap.4

"Why does it smell like fire?" Vanessa asks, stepping out of her room, towel around her neck, her hair still damp from her shower

"Eydis is cooking" you mumble, your focus on your laptop as you sit at the kitchen island

"For how long?" she asks, her tone laced with concern

"Like an hour or two" you sigh, glancing at the trail of smoke still lingering in the air

"Alright, I give up!" Eydis suddenly announces, tossing the smoking pan into the sink

The sound of water hissing against hot metal fills the kitchen, accompanied by a fresh plume of smoke

"About time" you say, barely hiding your amusement "You could've just gone next door. Kaori made too many pancakes anyway"

"And you're telling me this now?" he gasp, turning to glare at you

"You told me and I quote 'Don't disturb me, I'm in my Gordon Ramsay era' Wish I was lying" you say with a shrug

"Whatever" Eydis grumbles, throwing a hand in the air before heading toward the door "I'm out"

"Finally" Vanessa mutters, watching him leave before turning to you "So, did you read the email?"

"Yeah" you say "It's pretty straightforward. We just have to film stuff that catches our interest while we're here"

She nods "That doesn't sound too bad. Think we can actually get it done?"

"If we remind each other about it, sure" you say

"Alright, I'm starving, so I'll be next door too" Vanessa says, already heading toward the door

"I'll join in a bit" you reply, turning your attention back to your laptop

You hear the door shut behind Vanessa and immediately switch tabs on your laptop

Pulling up your assignment, you double check the file before attaching it to the email

With a sigh of relief, you hit "Send" to submit it to your professor

You don't hear Sylus exit the bathroom, too focused on your laptop, until you suddenly feel his presence looming behind you

You tense up turning around to face him, your breath catching when you realize how close he is

His body is just inches from yours and he reaches behind you, his hand brushing against your side as he grabs something off the counter

Without thinking, you instinctively lean back until you feel the small counter against your back

Sylus pauses for a moment, his eyes meeting yours

"What are you doing?" you ask him

"Grabbing my watch" he says, You glance at his hand as it reaches past you, the faint sound of his watch clicking softly as he grabs it from the counter

The closeness of his body is undeniable and the space between you two feels charged, like the air itself is waiting for something to happen

You raise an eyebrow still trying to steady yourself "A bit close, don't you think?"

He smirks, not moving away "seems like you were bluffing yesterday" he says, his voice low, almost teasing

"I'm not b-" you cut yourself off, unsure of what to say

Sylus finally takes a step back, still holding his watch but the playful energy hasn't left his eyes "You sure?" he asks, as if daring you to react

You open your mouth to respond, but all you can do is look at him, Sylus notices your hesitation, the way your eyes flicker to his chest before quickly pulling away

His smirk deepens as he leans slightly closer, his voice low but deliberate "What's the matter? You seemed so sure yesterday"

You swallow, fighting to keep your composure "i wasn't bluffing" you mutter, trying to sound confident

Sylus tilts his head with a knowing smirk "Right" he says "seems like I won"

Him whispering send a rush of heat and before you can stop yourself, you place your hands on his chest and push him back, needing some space, You sit up straight

"I'm leaving" you mutter, your voice shaky despite your best efforts

You quickly stand and walk toward the door

but as you move, you feel your heart thumping loudly against your chest

You try to steady your breathing but the effect Sylus has on you lingers, making your skin tingle with each step

You know if you look back, you'll see that infuriatingly perfect smile of his, so you don't, you swing the door open and step outside, your mind is spinning from what just happened

You bury your face in your hands, trying to shake off the lingering tension

"You okay?" Kazuo's voice breaks through your thoughts and you look up to see him standing there, concerned

"I'm okay" you reply quickly, though you feel anything but

"You look exactly like when you kissed Sylus back in freshman year" Kazuo says

"Please don't remind me" you groan

Kazuo laughs softly, clearly amused "Wanna take a walk?"

You nod eagerly, relieved for the distraction. "Yeah, please"

"Alright, let's go" he says, gesturing for you to follow as you both walk off together, leaving the chaos behind for a moment of peace

[Flashback]

"Just do it!" Davina urges her eyes sparkling

"Just go up to some stranger and kiss them?" you ask her, eyebrows raised in disbelief

"Sure, why not?" she shrugs

"I don't know about this" you mumble, feeling the butterflies flutter nervously in your stomach

"Alright, try to kiss one of your friends then" she suggests with a sly grin

"Definitely not happening" you immediately say, the thought of it way too awkward

"Okay, fine, what about the tall guy that's been staring at you all night?" she says, pointing across the room

You raise an eyebrow and glance in the direction she's looking "Yeah, I don't know about that"

"What? Why not? He's definitely interested!" she insists

"Davi" you mumble

"I'll be right back" she says quickly, leaving your side and heading toward the crowd

"Told you she's a lot" Amari says, leaning in with a smirk as he watches her go

"And you were right" you sigh

"But you did tell her you wanted to kiss someone" Amari points out "And now she made it her mission. Good luck escaping that"

"I need a drink" you mutter, glancing back at the commotion Davina is causing

Amari chuckles "Saw Leroy at the bar, he can help you out"

You nod, already heading toward the bar to escape the chaos

"Y/n, what's up, how's your first college party treating you?" Leroy asks, leaning casually over the counter with a wide grin

"It's... a lot" you admit

He chuckles "Yeah, they can be overwhelming, so what can I get you?"

"Two shots" you say without hesitation, leaning against the bar

"Two? Jumping in quick, huh?" Leroy teases, already reaching for the bottles

"Desperate times" you mumble under your breath

Leroy chuckles as he fills the two shot glasses and slides them toward you, you down the first one quickly, feeling the burn slide down your throat

"Y/n" Davina's voice cuts through the music, and you glance over your shoulder to see her approaching with an excited grin

"Yeah?" you respond, reaching for the second shot

"I found someone, let's go" she says, practically bouncing on her feet

"Wait, let me take this one first" you mumble, lifting the second glass and downing it just as quickly, you place the empty glass on the counter before Davina grabs your wrist

"No time to waste" she says, dragging you away from the bar and deeper into the crowd

"Dav- wait!" you protest, but she doesn't stop, weaving through the party with a mission only she understands

"He's in there" Davina says, nodding toward the storage room she had shown you earlier, to your surprise, it had been quite spacious for a closet

You sigh, trying to steel your nerves "Okay, give me a mi-"

Before you can finish, she grabs the handle and swings the door open "Tell me how it goes, good luck" she chirps, giving you a smile before shoving you inside and closing the door behind you

The sound of the door clicking shut echoes in the room and you turn to see him standing there, leaning casually against the shelves, his gaze meets yours

"Well, this is unexpected" he says, his voice smooth, laced with amusement

"Why are you here?" you ask, your voice sharper than intended as you try to mask your nerves

Sylus raises an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips "Your friend said you wanted to see me"

You curse Davina out in your head, already plotting exactly how you'll do it in person later, of course, she'd pull something like this

"Oh" you say, trying to sound nonchalant "She was lying"

He chuckles softly, taking a step closer "Really? She seemed pretty convincing"

"She's good at that" you mutter, avoiding his gaze

"And yet, you're still here" Sylus leans against the shelf, his confidence only adding to your frustration and something else you refuse to name "So, what now?"

"Now, nothing, I don't know why she even asked you to come here, I definitely don't want you to be my first kiss" you mumble, leaning against the counter and placing your hands behind you

Sylus pauses, his head tilting slightly "Your first kiss?" he repeats, stepping closer "You never kissed your ex boyfriend?"

"No... we were thirteen, we didn't do anything but hold hands" you admit, your voice quieter now

He smirks, the confidence in his expression only growing, "And now, you want me to-" "Not you" you cut him off quickly, your words rushed "Just someone, if I knew that sh-"

"And I'm here" he interrupts, leaning in just slightly, his eyes locked on yours "You want it or not?"

You take a small step back but his question stops you in your tracks

"No?" he asks, his tone low, almost teasing

"I'm just nervous" you mumble, feeling hot all of a sudden

"Then I'll take the lead" he says

"You've kissed before?" you ask, your curiosity slipping out before you can stop yourself

"Yeah" he replies simply, his gaze unwavering

You nod, your nerves still there but quieter now as you watch him step closer, this time, you don't move back, your heart pounding as the space between you shrinks

He stops in front of you, his gaze steady and searching "Can I?" he asks, his voice soft but laced with certainty

You nod unable to find your voice, your throat suddenly dry

"Use your words, Y/n" he mumbles

"Yeah, you can" you manage to say, your voice barely above a whisper

That's all the confirmation he needs, his hands move to your waist, firm but not forceful

and he effortlessly lifts you to sit on the counter

The cold surface contrasts with the warmth spreading through your body as he steps between your legs, closing the remaining space

His hands move up to cup your face, his touch surprisingly gentle, without thinking, you lean into it, the warmth of his palm grounding you in the moment

The simple action tugs at something deep within him, softening the smug edge he wore earlier

You let your hands find their way to his shoulders, wrapping around them as if instinctively pulling him closer

The tension between you two shifts, turning into something more intimate, more vulnerable, Sylus tilts his head slightly, his thumbs brushing lightly against your cheekbones "Relax" he murmurs, his voice barely audible, as if afraid to break the moment

"I am" you reply softly, your voice steady but your heartbeat anything but

His eyes search yours for any hesitation

but instead of waiting, you close the distance, slowly, tentatively, you lean in and press your lips to his

The kiss is soft at first, almost shy

as you try to steady your racing heart, Sylus responds immediately, his hands still cradling your face

His lips move against yours with a confidence that makes your nerves melt away

You feel his grip on your waist tighten slightly, anchoring you in place as the kiss deepens. Your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling him closer, forgetting everything but the warmth and intensity of the moment

When Sylus pulls back, you barely give yourself a second to think. Instinct takes over and you lean forward, closing the distance again

This time, the kiss is bolder fueled by something you can't quite name. Your hands slip from his shoulders to his chest, fisting the fabric of his shirt as you press closer

He doesn't hesitate, one hand sliding from your waist to the small of your back, pulling you flush against him

You feel him smile against your lips but you don't stop, deepening the kiss as if trying to prove a point. If he's surprised by your sudden confidence, he doesn't show it

Instead, he matches your energy, his hands steadying you as your fingers explore his jawline, his neck, anywhere you can reach

When you finally break apart, your breaths mingle in the small space between you, Sylus's eyes are darker now, filled with a mix of amusement and something deeper

"So... nervous, huh?" he says, his voice teasing but low enough to send shivers down your spine

You narrow your eyes, trying to mask how flustered you feel "Shut up"

[Present time]

"Okay, how do I look?" you ask, stepping out of the room with a little flourish

Vanessa looks up from her phone but her eyes dart straight to Sylus almost immediately, her lips twitch as if she's holding back a knowing smile

You follow her gaze and meet Sylus's eyes. He's leaning back in his chair, his phone forgotten in his hand, his expression unreadable for a moment. Then, slowly, the corner of his mouth quirks up

You raise your eyebrows "Well?"

He takes his time, letting his eyes sweep over you in a way that feels both deliberate and teasing "You look... decent" he says finally

"Decent!?" you repeat, narrowing your eyes

Vanessa snorts "Don't mind him. You look beautiful"

Sylus shrugs the playful glint in his eye betraying his tone "I mean, if you're aiming to just impress random people, sure it's decent"

You roll your eyes, fighting the warmth creeping up your neck "You're impossible"

He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he grins up at you "You asked for my opinion. Next time be more specific"

Vanessa groans standing up "Alright, I'm out. Let me know when you two are done being weirdly flirty"

You glare at her leaving through the door before turning to Sylus "You're lucky I don't change just to spite you"

He chuckles as she stand up "Wouldn't matter. You'd still look beautiful"

For a second, you freeze, caught off guard by the sincerity in his voice, before you can respond, the door swings open and Eydis strolls in "Yo, everyone's ready" he announces casually, leaning against the doorframe

You blink snapping out of the moment and turning to Eydis "Alright, let's go"

Eydis raises an eyebrow, glancing between you and Sylus "Am I interrupting something?"

"No" you say quickly, brushing past him but you can feel Sylus's amused gaze on your back, you walk out

"Sure doesn't look like it" Eydis mutters just loud enough for you to hear

"Mind your business!" you shoot back, not daring to glance over your shoulder at Sylus

The smirk you can practically feel on his face lingers in your thoughts all the way to the others

"Looking gorgeous as usual" Amari says, giving you an approving nod

"Thanks Mar" you reply with a smile, smoothing out your dress

"Where's my thank you?" comes a voice beside you

You glance over to see Sylus walking just a step closer than necessary

"You won't be getting any" you say flatly,

Sylus chuckles, effortlessly keeping stride with you "That's fine. Actions speak louder than words anyway"

You roll your eyes, refusing to dignify his response. Instead, you focus ahead, where the grand double doors of the gala venue loom closer

The group continues down the hall, the air buzzing with excitement for the Academy's event

As you step inside, the dazzling glow of chandeliers and the soft hum of conversation fill the room, momentarily distracting you from Sylus

[One Hour Later]

You were officially over this event. Sitting in clear view of Sylus as some random girl flirted shamelessly with him was enough to drive you up the wall

"Don't be jealous," Kaori murmurs, leaning in close

"I'm not," you say slowly, narrowing your eyes as the girl reaches up to adjust Sylus's tie, her laugh loud enough to grate your nerves

"Liar" Kaori mumbles, clearly unimpressed "You hate whatever's going on, admit it"

You stay silent, your nails drumming lightly against your glass as the minutes drag by

Suddenly, a pair of hands settle on your shoulders. You glance up to see Leroy grinning down at you

"Wanna smoke?" he asks casually

"Yes, please" you sigh, standing up without hesitation

Amari and Davina catch your movement and follow, the three of you heading for the exit with Leroy leading the way

What you don't notice is Sylus, his focus shifting entirely as he watches you leave.

"Where are they going?" he asks Kazuo, his tone sharper than intended.

"Probably smoking," Kazuo answers nonchalantly, taking a sip of his drink. Sylus frowns, his eyes lingering on the door you just walked through

"The after party better be worth it" Davina sighs, leaning against the wall as she rubs her temples

"It's just people talking and talking and talking" Amari grumbles, pulling out his phone to check the time

You chuckle softly, the flick of your lighter echoing in the quiet as you light the joint, taking a slow drag, you let the smoke curl lazily in the air

"Can't believe they thought this would be fun" Leroy shakes his head, taking the joint from you "It's like they forgot we're not fifty"

Davina laughs "Honestly. If I hear one more speech about legacy or whatever, I might scream"

"Same" you mutter, leaning back against the wall "I'd rather be anywhere else right now"

Amari smirks "Well, here's to skipping the boring stuff. Cheers to bad decisions and good company"

You all laugh softly, the tension from the night slowly easing away as you all pass the joint around

"So you and Sylus?" Davina teases as she nudges your arm

"Don't start" you sigh, exhaling a thin stream of smoke before passing the joint to Amari

"What? I'm just saying" she continues "The way he's been looking at you all night? It's like he's got a radar or something"

Leroy chuckles "She's not wrong, Dude's eyes practically follow you around the room"

You roll your eyes leaning your head back against the wall "It's not like that. He can do whatever he wants"

"Sure" Amari says, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he takes a drag "And that's why you've been glaring at that girl all night"

"I wasn't glaring" you mutter

"Uh huh" Davina chuckles "You're lucky she didn't burst into flames from the heat of your death stares"

You groan shaking your head "I hate all of you"

"Love you too" Leroy laughs, passing the joint back to you "But seriously, what do you think? About him?"

You take a drag and shrug "It's just Sylus being Sylus. If he was in love with me like you guys keep saying, why not just confess like yeah, I know he flirts with me but who says it's more than that?”

"So, you're saying you need him to confess for you to believe he feels something?" Davina asks, with a raised eyebrow

"I mean yeah" you mumble exhaling the smoke "If that's the case, then sure"

"I get her, though" Amari spoke up "If a girl kept flirting with me, I'd just think she wants to fuck. That's all"

"Thank you, Mar" you say, passing the joint back to him

"For once he be making sense" Davina says

You chuckle "Don't get used to it, it's a rare moment" you reply glancing at Amari

"Right? Gotta appreciate the rare moments when he makes sense" Davina adds with a smile

Amari shrugs "I make sense all the time, y'all just don't listen"

"sure" you mumble, rolling your eyes "Keep telling yourself that"

You mull over their words "it's gonna take more than flirting and jokes to get me to believe Sylus is serious about anything"

"Fair enough" Leroy nods

You stay behind as the others head inside, answering the call from your mother

"So you'll be able to be back on time?" she asks on the other end

"Yeah, it's a week after the trip why?" you reply, glancing around

"Xiu has this huge opportunity for you but she won't tell me exactly what it is" she explains referring to Mrs.Qin

"Alright, tell her I'll be back by then" you respond, feeling intrigued over the news

"Okay, bye Y/n" she says

"Bye mom" you reply before hanging up

As you slip your phone back into your pocket, you hear the door open and close behind you

"You okay?" a familiar voice asks

You turn, not surprised to find Sylus standing there, his tie halfway undone

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" you ask, trying to hide the sudden annoyance in your chest

"You've been quiet" Sylus says

You frown, trying to brush it off "How would you possibly know when you're sitting at a whole other table?"

"I know you for too long to not notice" he admits, his eyes never leaving you

You hum softly, breaking eye contact to gaze out at the city

The bustling crowd, the steady flow of people walking in groups, cars passing by and the laughter drifting from some of the strangers, felt so different from the island

You can't help but feel a strange mix of appreciation and longing for it all, a contrast to the calm, familiar serenity of the island life

The noise felt almost comforting in its own way, a reminder of a world so different from what you're used to

But you quickly shift your attention back to Sylus, avoiding the tension hanging in the air between you two

"Shouldn't you be busy with the girl from earlier?" you ask, your voice laced with indifference

"Do you want me to?" he responds, his tone laced with something you can't quite place

You chuckle softly, shaking your head "Why would I care? Whatever you do is none of my business"

There's a long silence as Sylus doesn't respond, and you can feel the weight of his gaze on you

"What?" you ask, finally breaking the quiet, your voice a bit sharper now

"Is that really what you think?" he asks, his voice quieter almost vulnerable

You pause meeting his eyes and shrug "Yeah, I mean, you do piss me off sometimes but I guess we're friends in one way or another, and I doubt your future girlfriend would be too thrilled seeing you flirt with me"

Sylus's chest tightens at your words. There's something about them, the way you said them, that leaves him momentarily speechless

"You don't think so?" you ask, noticing the silence dragging on longer than usual

"I guess" he shrugs, his voice distant

You furrow your brows, surprised by the uncertainty in his tone, something you've never heard from him before "Are you okay?" you ask, genuinely concerned

Before he can answer, the door opens once again, cutting off the moment

"Hey Sylus, you coming?" The girl who was sitting next to him earlier asks, her voice bright as she looks at you, a polite smile on her lips

You push yourself off the wall, stepping back slightly "She seems nice" you murmur to Sylus, before offering her a nod and turning to walk inside, the weight of the conversation still lingering in the air

Chap.5>

[osteoptimist]

Severance S2 spoilers up to episode 2:

After watching S2E1 I was REALLY worried that the show might be nosediving. When Helly R didn't tell the gang that she was an Eagan, my fear was that the writers were so desperate to get the show back to the status quo and create conflict within MDR that they were going to have Helly go from "I'm going to burn your company to the ground" to lying to the team out of fear they'd reject her and she'd lose her developing relationship with Mark S.

I've seen plenty of shows do this, and it's one of my biggest pet peeves in television writing. Characters lying for silly reasons just so the show has more drama.

BUT! After reading some discussions online, rewatching the episode, and now seeing E2, I'm confident that's not the case and the writers are still doing an awesome job.

In E1, there were a few pieces of evidence in Helly R's behavior that indicated she might actually be Helena, her outie. Her interactions with the team and especially Mark were a little awkward, but it's hard to be sure.

The most compelling piece of evidence was the shot at the end of the episode where they're all sitting back at their desks and she has to feel around for a second to find the switch to turn on her computer. That was a very deliberate shot, easy to miss but super obvious in hindsight, imo. To me, that very clearly indicates that this isn't Helly, who has known almost nothing except this office.

One of the most interesting, though, and one I haven't seen a lot of people talk about, was when Irv was in the bathroom. The group was talking and suddenly she looks up at the ceiling and asks "what happened to that security camera?"

THAT is a big hint to me, and fits with what we've seen of Helena in E2. My guess is in E3 (or maybe E4), we'll learn that Helena refuses to let her innie Helly take over, and comes to a compromise with the company that she'll go down in disguise as Helly, with the chip disabled so she doesn't switch going down the elevator.

That will require her to watch pretty much every moment of Helly's time on the severed floor, so she doesn't make any obvious mistakes.

Ergo, she probably spent a lot of time watching footage from that one (now missing) camera to see the team interacting. Then, when she's down on the severed floor and feeling uncertain, she looks to that camera and notices it's missing.

There's a lot else to unpack about Helena that we saw in S2, especially her watching Helly and Mark kiss at the elevator, but other people have talked about that.

I'm just glad the writers are still cooking, it was on me for not paying close enough attention in my first watch of E1.

I AM still a little worried about Dylan going along with Milkshake and not telling the team about the family visitation room, I'm not sure that follows from what we saw at the end of S1. We know that Dylan has been very concerned about rewards and perks, but I think that's mostly because he didn't have anything else to focus on, and once he met his son that completely changed. Maybe Lumon is making the right move combining those two motivations, I'm just not 100% sure he would buy the "don't tell your coworkers cause they're all single and might get jealous" part.

[slymanner]

Look all I'm saying is if that a shadow game can work THAT well and be so well designed story wise and gameplay wise

HE can work

[fisheito]

Typing "capsaicin snake effect" into the search bar so i can figure out if yakumo can eat spicy food

[ayrennaranaaldmeri]

welp since some of those shitty leaks turned out to be true, those rook's rest leaks are going to end up being true and from the very bottom of my heart i wish c*ndal a very never get work adapting anything again i hope by the end of this your reputation is worse than benioff's and weiss's because it's all you deserve.

[ptrckjcne]

somehow i've simply not noticed through any of my watches (up until now, that is) how steve serves red wine with white fish when he cooks for lynn, and now i can't unsee it–

this has lead to not being able unhear danny ranting at him, before announcing he'll have a wine class with steve, because this dumb goof needs to learn how to match the right wine to dishes

[akchually]

.

[sufficientlylargen]

It always gets me that the name "Gandalf" literally just means "Wand-Elf" or "Stick-Elf". I'm imagining old Gondorians just being like:

Librarian: I saw that weird guy at the library again today.

Guard 1: What weird guy?

Librarian: The old guy with the beard? Kinda elfy-looking, apart from the beard?

Guard 1: Oh, with the big-ass stick?

Librarian: Yeah, looked like he was carrying an entire tree branch.

Guard 2: Yeah, that's the Stick Elf.

Guard 1: Hell yeah, I fuckin' love the Stick Elf.

Librarian: The "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: He comes by every few years, usually after some weird book or other.

Librarian: Oh. Yeah, he wanted a treatise on goblin breeding habits.

Guard 2: Like, how they have sex? We have books on that?

Librarian: Yeah, turns out we do. I was as surprised as you are.

Guard 1: What'd the Stick Elf need a fuckin' goblin-fuckin' book for?

Librarian: I didn't ask. So you just call him "Stick Elf"?

Guard 2: I mean, he looks kinda elfy and he always has that stick, so, like, yeah.

Guard 1: Dude also has some fuckin' dope pipeweed.

Guard 2: Oh yeah, his pipeweed is awesome.

Librarian: How long has he been coming here?

Guard 2: Oh, for decades. He's, like, super old.

Guard 1: More like fuckin' centuries. Dude's old as balls.

Guard 2: Wait, really?

Guard 1: Yeah, my gran-gran used to talk about him. She loved his pipeweed too.

Librarian: So he's… an immortal pipeweed dealer?

Guard 2: I think he's just, like, a connoisseur. He doesn't sell it or anything. He just always has some really top-notch pipeweed on him.

Archivist: Oh, are we talking about Stick Elf?

Guard 1: Hell yeah we are!

Librarian: You know about the Stick Elf, too?

Archivist: Oh, totally. Stick-Elf's a super chill dude. Gave me some awesome pipeweed when I was maybe 12, and tee-bee-aitch I think I'm still a little buzzed from it.

Guard 1: What'd I tell ya, fuckin' dope pipeweed!

Archivist: Also he's really old.

Guard 1: Old as balls.

Librarian: Yeah, so Éodan and Jenniforomir were telling me.

Archivist: My grandpa used to tell me stories - he said one time he saw Stick Elf enter a smoke-ring contest.

Guard 1: Ooh, I'll bet he kicked fuckin' ass.

Archivist: Apparently the guy made an entire warship out of smoke and it flew around shooting down the other rings.

Librarian: And how much of this "fuckin' dope" pipeweed had your grandfather had by this point?

Guard 1: No no, that's totally plausible. Dude's got weird elf powers and shit for sure.

Archivist: He brought fireworks for the king's birthday one year, too.

Guard 1: Oh fuck, I forgot about those! Fuckin' incredible fireworks! Dragons and knights and glowy trees and shit! I was fuckin' 6 years old or something, they totally blew my mind. Hey Éodan, did you see that shit?

Guard 2: No, I think that's before I lived in Gondor.

Guard 1: Wait, you're not from here?

Guard 2: Oh, no, I grew up in Rohan. We moved here when I was, like, thirteen because my uncle Éojeff said he could get my dad a sweet job. And also that there were houses that didn't smell like horseshit.

Guard 1: Oh shit, are you related to Éojeff and Éosteve who run that æbleskiver stand on Norndîl St?

Guard 2: Yeah, they're my uncles!

Guard 1: Shit, they cook a fuckin' great æbleskiver!

Librarian: Ok, hold up a sec, "Stick Elf" can't possibly be his real name.

Guard 1: Why not?

Librarian: What? You think his parents named him in the hopes that he would carry around a fucking tree when he got older?

Guard 2: Maybe they gave him the tree when he was born!

Archivist: I don't think a baby could carry that stick.

Guard 1: You ever seen a baby hanging onto something? They're hella strong.

Archivist: It's not a strength thing, their hands are tiny. That staff is enormous!

Guard 1: My halberd's bigger 'n I am, I can hold it just fine.

Archivist: You're not a baby.

Librarian: Also why would elf parents name their kid "stick ELF"?! Presumably they know that their kid's going to be an elf!

Archivist: Is he actually an elf? I didn't think they grew beards.

Guard 1: How'd he get old as balls if he's not an elf?

Guard 2: His ears aren't that pointy. Maybe he's just a really old guy? Like, a Numémoriam or something?

Guard 1: Did you just say "Numémoriam"?

Guard 2: Nûnenorman? Munimõrbitan? Y'know, those guys like the king that can get super old.

Guard 1: You mean the fuckin' Númenóreans?

Guard 2: Yeah, the Númenóreums.

Archivist: Even the Númenóreans don't live THAT long.

Guard 1: Plus he carries that fuckin' stick around.

Guard 2: Wait, what does the stick have to do with it?

Guard 1: That's an elf thing. Y'know, trees and shit? Very elfy.

Librarian: Ok, look, but his parents naming him "Stick Elf" would be weird whether or not he's an elf. In fact, it's even weirder if he's not - what human names their kid "elf"?

Archivist: Huh. Yeah, you're right, he probably does have another name.

Guard 2: Yeah, I guess so.

Librarian: He's been coming here for decades and nobody's ever asked his real name?

Archivist: I dunno what to tell you, he's Stick Elf. Even his library card just says 'Stick Elf'.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah, the Stick Elf!

Guard 2: Maybe we could, like, ask him his name sometime?

Guard 1: Hey, look, Elrond's over there. He's old as balls too, maybe he knows?

Guard 2: Oh, we shouldn't interru-

Guard 1: HEY ELROND, YOU'RE OLD AS BALLS, RIGHT? WHAT'S THAT OLD ELF WITH THE STICK'S NAME?

Elrond (coming over): Do you mean an old man cloaked all in grey and blue, leaning on a rough-cut staff, who came to the great library this day?

Guard 1: Yeah, the Stick-Elf!

Guard 2: (Sorry to bother you, sir...)

Librarian: He's got to have a real name besides 'the Stick Elf', right?

Elrond: Indeed, for no elf is he. You speak of the wizard Olórin, wisest of the Maiar, older even than Eä itself. Many are his names in many countries: Tharkûn among the Dwarves; Incánus to the south; Mithrandir he is called among my people, the Grey Pilgrim.

Librarian: Oh.

Elrond: And here in the North he is called Stick-Elf.

Librarian: Oh.

Guard 1: Fuck yeah!

[girlivealwaysbean]

dni.

[astonmartinii]

the king of monza can do what he wants | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem alonso!reader

the king of monza can win the race, have his relationship exposed and challenge his soon-to-be father-in-law to a duel, he can do what he wants.

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

oscarpiastri

liked by olliebearman, danielricciardo and 432,095 others

tagged: lilyzneimer, yourusername, charles_leclerc

oscarpiastri: double header means we crashed on my adoptive parents' couch and forced them to cook for me (only y/n, obviously)

view all comments

user1: does he know this isn't his private account?

user2: SHUSH DON'T TELL HIM

user3: we need to enjoy this while it lasts

jackdoohan: oscar, there's still time to delete this

oscarpiastri: why would i delete this?

oscarpiastri: oh

oscarpiastri: oh no

jackdoohan: you might want to warn your kinda dad you've exposed the identity of your kinda mum as your kinda grandad is probably putting out a hit on him as we speak

fernandoalo_oficial: don't call me a grandad 👿🤬😡😠💢😤

jackdoohan: OSCAR QUICK HE'S DISCOVERED EMOJIS HE MUST BE REALLY MAD

user4: fernando, are you okay?

fernandoalo_oficial: i want that frenchies head on a stick

charles_leclerc: i am monegasque!

fernandoalo_oficial: so you do actually want to die?

yourusername: okay let's calm down old man

fernandoalo_oficial: SILENCE I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! THAT'S THE MAN?

yourusername: yes!

fernandoalo_oficial: no.

charles_leclerc: i object!

lancestroll: his eye hasn't stopped twitching since

charles_leclerc: i don't care! he might be crazy but I'M IN LOVE SO BRING IT OLD MAN

user5: wtf have i woken up to this morning

user6: the public execution of the prince of monaco

yourusername: just because he has a samurai tattoo doesn't mean he knows how to use a sword

fernandoalo_oficial: i will tear him apart with my bare hands

user7: i fear this comment section alone has undone all of his funky grandad tiktok PR

user8: he's going to make charles cry in the press conference

yourusername: oh well, charlie is hot when he cries

user9: and how do you know that...

yourusername: that's none of your business 😈

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 2,312,088 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: italy has my heart and so do you <3

view all comments

user11: queen got exposed and immediately started flexing her unbelievably sexy bf

yourusername: why wouldn't i? he's so damn FINE

charles_leclerc: teehee (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

user12: you might as well have told me to kill myself

fernandoalo_oficial: enjoy your weekend charles, it will be your last

charles_leclerc: and if i win? i think suspended sentence?

fernandoalo_oficial: @carlossainz55 i have a proposition for you

yourusername: why are we acting like he wouldn't do that for free

carlossainz55: excuse me?

yourusername: i'm calling you a jealous bitch xx

carlossainz55: what is your price nando?

fernandoalo_oficial: i'm not fucking paying you, i was assuming you'd do it in a jealous rage anyway

carlossainz55: ???

user13: the way carlos is being jumped from both sides unprovoked

user14: which ever alonso it is, they choose violence

oscarpiastri: so ... am i off the hook yet?

yourusername: you know we can't say no to you

fernandoalo_oficial: oscar you might actually be my favourite now, thank you for bringing this to my attention

oscarpiastri: sure i'll take it!

charles_leclerc: you can have my heart and everything else for as long as you want

yourusername: looks like you'll never get it back ;)

charles_leclerc: that's fine by me if i get to spend it with you

yourusername: i love you :P

charles_leclerc: i love you more ( > 〰 < )♡

fernandoalo_oficial

liked by jensonbutton, aussiegrit and 1,209,566 others

fernandoalo_oficial: cash prize for anyone who can actually track down this little rat - i just want to talk i swear

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user15: it's official everyone, he's gone crazy

user16: as crazy as he is at least he's bringing the DRAMA 🤩

yourusername: this isn't very peace and love of you

fernandoalo_oficial: that has never been the way in this family

fernandoalo_oficial: but let me make this clear, i mean in a destroy all of your enemies way rather than a jos verstappen way

maxverstappen1: ???

yourusername: destroying our enemies does not mean you can do your best jos verstappen impression and drive your aston martin into charles

fernandoalo_oficial: don't be stupid y/n, the aston martin is too slow, i'm going to steal his brakes

yourusername: and how will you do that boomer

fernandoalo_oficial: ferrari are stupid they probably still haven't changed the passwords or locks since i left

yourusername: @scuderiaferrari excuse me???

scuderiaferrari: ....

user17: so like this is a genuine hit?

user18: mob boss!fernando alonso you are so special to me

user19: sorry charles but it's so sexy

charles_leclerc: drop the address senor i'm not scared of you

lancestroll: he brought the samurai sword btw

yourusername: @f1 DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE ANY SECURITY MEASURES ???

f1: it made a good tiktok 👍

yourusername: you people are useless

charles_leclerc: no worries my love it's all under control

fernandoalo_oficial: i will carve you like a christmas turkey

yourusername: you go anywhere near charles with that sword we're both going romeo and juliet style

user20: what on earth is going on

user21: just smile and wave i think we're watching collective hysteria

f1

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 3,562,778 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

f1: CHARLES LECLERC WINS FOR FERRARI AT MONZA

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user23: bro heard fernando was gonna steal his brakes and simply just drove so fast he didn't need them

user24: he was like 'oh you want my head on a stick? TRY AND CATCH ME'

yourusername: pretty boy is so so talented it's not fair

yourusername: who am i kidding

yourusername: STUNT ON THOSE HOES I LOVE YOU BABY

charles_leclerc: thank you baby, i simply had to drive so fast so i could give you a kiss

charles_leclerc: and also so i could tell your dad to SUCK ON THAT OLD MAN

user25: he's had too much champagne and might actually get himself killed

user26: i will throw myself in front of that sword for him

yourusername: you and me too buddy - i'll cover your drinks for this evening

fernandoalo_oficial: i still want him dead

charles_leclerc: what the fuck do you want from me? i just won? did you see that freak of an orange car? i look after your daughter like i looked after those tyres

yourusername: so romantic 🤭

fernandoalo_oficial: he just compared you to tyres? have some standards i raised you better?

yourusername: believe me, i do have standards - he's special xx

fernandoalo_oficial: i also won monza with ferrari he's not that special

user27: at least he's stopped with the samurai sword talk?

user28: he did say he still wants him dead though

maxverstappen1: @yourusername why couldn't you have dated lando? would've made this championship a lot easier

landonorris: HUH?

yourusername: please refer to my previous comment about standards

charles_leclerc: hehehehehe

landonorris: HUH???

charles_leclerc

liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 4,523,099 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: grazie mille tifosi !! this is for you and all of your support. i'm glad my family and my love were here to see this win as well. fernando, bring your sword, i'll fight for your daughter's hand.

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user29: i love this family and i've known them a week

user30: fernando might have to go through me as well at this point

yourusername: i love you so much and you have deserved this and more for so so long xx

charles_leclerc: i couldn't do it without you (and our weird little grid family)

yourusername: you're my favourite person in the world and i just love to see you happy

charles_leclerc: you make me the happiest man in the world

yourusername: i love you

charles_leclerc: i love you too

user31: as cute as all this is ^^ where is this duel

user32: can someone PLEASE STREAM IT !!!!! I WILL PAY

user33: I NEED IT I NEED IT

fernandoalo_oficial: come outside

lancestroll: he spent all of the debrief sharpening the sword btw

charles_leclerc: i'm ready girlypop

fernandoalo_oficial: GIRLYPOP ???

yourusername: PEACE AND LOVE BOZO

maxverstappen1: can we get this show on the road please?

lewishamilton: charles please hurry up i've got some serious cash on this tussle

yourusername: how much we talking?

charles_leclerc: i might die and you're checking the wager?

yourusername: because i have faith in you !!!!

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, fernandoalo_oficial and 2,136,344 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: he's alive and he's a winner! the king of monza can do what he wants

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user35: prince of monaco? king of monza? bro is collecting titles

yourusername: my husband next 🤞🏻

charles_leclerc: bet

user36: is ANYONE GOING TO TELL US WHAT HAPPENED IN THE DUEL

georgerussell63: it was extremely unprofessional and there will be an extensive powerpoint covering how this won't happen again

fernandoalo_oficial: i'll fight you next time george

user37: don't go off TOPIC

charles_leclerc: i out strategised him lol

oscarpiastri: what he means is that he surprised fernando from behind and wouldn't stop hugging him until he agreed that he wouldn't skewer him like a kebab

charles_leclerc: and it worked! now look he's on my boat giving me his blessing

user38: you're telling me charles hugged his way out of the conflict?

user39: perhaps the most babygirl he's ever been

user40: we need the pictures SHOW IT TO ME RACHEL

fernandoalo_oficial: fine, i guess he's okay. i'm not calling him the king of monza though

yourusername: i knew you'd come around

fernandoalo_oficial: i love my daughter SORRY

yourusername: don't lie to me you only calmed down and accepted it because i called in the reinforcements

user41: i'm crying she called babysitters for her dad

yourusername: jenson and mark, idk how you deal with him

jensonbutton: the stress of him and his antics keep me skinny

aussiegrit: i think we're all trauma bonded

charles_leclerc: i'll be the king of monza, if you'll be my queen

charles_leclerc: and i will continue to do what i want

yourusername: i'll be your queen anywhere you want

yourusername: and if doing what you want includes fighting my dad... let's turn it down a lil

charles_leclerc: for you, i'll do anything

fin.

note: here yall go - this was in my drafts half done from monza weekend but life got crazy

[charminglygrouped]

For the past several years (and perhaps longer) in the P&P fandom I've seen a lot of people who want to rehabilitate Mrs. Bennet: like, sure, she's uncouth and seems greedy, but it's because she cares so much about her daughters' futures; her situation is actually really stressful and uncertain and she's powerless to change it and her husband makes fun of her, and so it's natural that it would cause her to be anxious all the time; maybe she doesn't have the intelligence or social awareness to understand that her behaviour is actually harming her daughters' prospects, but at least her heart is in the right place.

I'm usually not the type of person who argues that fandom is actually being too nice to a female character, but in this case I don't buy the counter-narrative (which I think is popular enough at this point to be fanon / a narrative in itself) about Mrs. Bennet.

For one thing, she was never really powerless in this situation. These people are rich even for gentry. Mr. Bennet's income was always good, at 2,000 pounds per annum (even though I can't believe he isn't neglecting some practices that could raise it higher). Mrs. Bennet had 4,000 pounds from her parents and a further 1,000 from Mr. Bennet. Invested in the 4 per cents (for example), this is 200 pounds per year in pin money that Mrs. Bennet could spend without touching the principle of her dowry, and without affecting Mr. Bennet's income. This is more than some people's entire yearly incomes.

The picture of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet that we get in P&P is not of people who are helpless against their circumstances, but of people who are extraordinarily neglectful. We're told that:

Mr. Bennet had very often wished, before this period of his life, that, instead of spending his whole income, he had laid by an annual sum, for the better provision of his children, and of his wife, if she survived him. [...] When first Mr. Bennet had married, economy was held to be perfectly useless; for, of course, they were to have a son. This son was to join in cutting off the entail, as soon as he should be of age, and the widow and younger children would by that means be provided for. Five daughters successively entered the world, but yet the son was to come; and Mrs. Bennet, for many years after Lydia’s birth, had been certain that he would. This event had at last been despaired of, but it was then too late to be saving. Mrs. Bennet had no turn for economy; and her husband’s love of independence had alone prevented their exceeding their income.

We also know that the "continual presents in money which passed to [Lydia] through her mother’s hands," plus her allowance and food, amount to about 90 pounds per year. Rather than saving up from the beginning in case the entail is not broken, rather than beginning to save once it's clear a son will not arrive, rather than making Jane's dowry the full 5,000 from her mother (which would be something) and saving up for the younger girls' dowries thereafter—which is what would be typical, and that's why Lady Catherine was so shocked that all the girls were out at once—Mrs. Bennet's housekeeping, dress, the girls' allowance, presents of money over and above their allowance, plus whatever Mr. Bennet is spending money on (and other expenses relating to servants, carriages, maintenance &c. which are unavoidable), add up to their entire income. The only reason why Mrs. Bennet doesn't overspend even that is that that's where Mr. Bennet puts his foot down.

Mrs. Bennet is actively harming her daughters' prospects, not even of marriage, but of living respectably if they don't marry, because she doesn't have the temperance not to spend all of the income that is allotted to her. It is the role of the woman in a marriage to take charge of the housekeeping, servants, cooking, furniture, and all expenses relating thereto (plus certain attentions to her tenants and any living in genteel poverty in the area, though presumably this will depend on her income and whether there's a parish church with a parson's wife who's doing some of these things). She's an adult who should be competent to manage these things in a reasoned way without needing to be dictated to.

It is supposed to be the role of the woman in a marriage to take charge of her daughters' education—and yet Mrs. Bennet did not hire a governess, and Elizabeth says that she didn't spend much time teaching her daughters anything (it's not clear to what degree she's educated herself). Granted, the girls did have masters—but, from the sounds of things, that was only if they requested them. No one was required to learn much of anything, which will probably further harm the marriage prospects of the girls who "chose to be idle."

I think the "point" of Mrs. Bennet is that she is one half of one type of bad marriage which the novel illustrates, in contrast with the Gardiners' marriage. These marriages are two possible models for the Bennet daughters to look to. At one point, Elizabeth's prospective marriage is explicitly compared to her parents', with her in the role of her father: Mr. Bennet says "My child, let me not have the grief of seeing you unable to respect your partner in life" (emphasis original).

We might wonder whether Elizabeth saw herself potentially in the role of her father, in a marriage that was very intellectually unequal, when she rejected Mr. Collins; or whether she also saw herself in the role of her mother, married to a man who insults and doesn't respect her, when she rejected Mr. Darcy. Ultimately, she accepts Mr. Darcy after she realises that he is nothing like her father; that he is diligent in attending to his responsibilities, and that he does evidently respect her mind.

This isn't me defending Mr. Bennet, who is also a bad parent and a bad spouse. I do, however, find it a little disturbing when people suggest that Mr. Bennet is at fault for not controlling or curtailing his wife. His wife is a grown woman. Surely we don't actually believe that a situation where a man is legally in complete control over his wife, merely because he is a man and she is a woman, is in any way natural, moral, or just? (This also goes for people who suggest that Mr. Bingley needs to get his sister 'in line' 😬😬😬.)

Mrs. Bennet should be competent to manage her household and her daughters. Given that she's not, yes, Mr. Bennet, according to Georgian and Victorian ideas of the role of a man in a marriage, "should" have stepped in and started dictating to her. But I don't really think that's what Austen is suggesting went wrong here. The models of good marriages we have—the Gardiners, the Bingleys and Darcys after their weddings—are all ones in which the women were basically sensible people to begin with. In the latter two cases, we are told of particular ways in which the men stand to benefit from some mental quality of their future spouse (Elizabeth's good humour and ease in company; Jane's steadiness and determination).

The ideal which some Georgians had of a husband's role being to shape his wife's intellect doesn't seem to be what's being advocated here. If Mr. Bennet made a mistake, it was in marrying a silly, selfish, ill-tempered woman to begin with, not in failing to browbeat her into submission once he found out that she was silly, selfish, and ill-tempered. The idea is that you should choose your spouse carefully. But that message doesn't work if Mrs. Bennet is just a woman in a difficult situation who has her heart in the right place.

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘪. (𝘪'𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘸𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦) 🧶

⤷ summary: the world meets the newest mclaren team member, and they are loving it! it's poor oscars first day and shit's already hitting the fan sorry dude ): LMAO. lando just experienced love at first sight, while y/n is ready to fist fight

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liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 32,890 others

mclaren oscar's first day of kindergarten, done. pre-season testing, done. (we'll be even faster soon 🙏🏼 don't worry guys)

2,568 comments

user2 HELLO??? WHO HACKED THE MCLAREN ACCOUNT

user6 we'll be racing past redbull in no time

mclaren a girl can dream

user7 lando is this you??? 😭

user8 budget dropped so low they had to hire the drivers for social media

user3 this is haas money behavior

mclaren excuse you i am NOT LANDO

user8 oscar????

mclaren no sir, i'm the owner of this house 🫵

user9 idk if this is a new admin but this is so unserious

mclaren new year new me babe

user9 give her a raise mclaren 🙏🏼

mclaren REPOST REPOST REPOST

landonorris first day on the job and already asking for more money?

mclaren i'm so sorry lord lando, you forget that us lowly peasants aren't on an athelete salary 🙄

user10 HUMBLE HIM, WE LOVE TO SEE IT

user11 mclaren admin beefing with lando was NOT on my 2023 bingo card

user12 she really said, "ik we're slow but LET US COOK"

mclaren TRUUUSTTT THAT COMEBACK IS COMING (im manifesting)

oscarpiastri KINDERGARTEN??? i'm nearly 22 mate

mclaren teensy weensy baby basically

oscarpiastri your fired /:

mclaren HAHA YOU CAN'T DO THAT 🏃🏻‍♀️

user13 petition for all the f1 team accounts to be run by young admins, this is tooooo good

mclaren screenshotting this for my boss so they don't see these comments and fire me

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user14 she. looked. up. his. salary. 💀 ICON

user15 hiring her was such a rare mclaren W

user16 MCLAREN ADMIN HEAR OUR PRAYERS AND MAKE TIKTOKS 🙏🏼

user17 OMG CAN U IMAGINE

user18 HOW MUCH MONEY DO I HAVE TO PAY MS. MCLAREN FOR THIS OMG

user19 will our team win? probably not BUT AT LEAST WE'LL BE GETTING CONTENT 😘

user20 AYYYYEEEE

user21 LANDO MAY NEVER WIN, BUT THE FANS NEVER LOSE 🤞🏾

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liked by mclaren, maxfewtrell, and 60,050 others

landonorris don't mind me, just living my lord life on my athlete's salary. bahrain here we come!

10,750 comments

user22 WHERES THE MCLAREN ADMIN

user23 lando nowins flexing on us poor people

user24 someone come get this man's phone

user25 oh i KNOW pr is mad 💀💀💀

user26 daniel ricciardo leaves and mclaren loses it's mind

user27 daniel leaves and all of us lose our minds 🥲

oscarpiastri jesus christ mate, log out

mclaren i'm not sure he knows how, he might need to pay someone to /:

user28 CRAZZZYYYY

user29 THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING

user30 "f1 is a serious sport." the serious sport in question:

user31 the papaya hat 🫵

user32 HE'S SO FINE IM GNAWING AT THE BARS

user33 BARK BARK WOOF WOOF

mclaren phones. on the table. NEOWWW

user33 holy shit this is actually so embarrassing

mclaren at least ur self aware!

user34 she clocked ur asses 😭😭😭

maxfewtrell lord lando flying economy

landonorris I AM NOT

user35 bro took that personally

user36 me thinks the man doth protest too much

danielricciardo i leave you alone for a few months and this is what you're doing

landonorris i learned from the best

danielricciardo DONT BLAME ME FOR THIS

maxverstappen1 ... that's my plane???

landonorris SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

maxverstappen1 you can't just take credit for my private jet. its mine.

mclaren this just in, little lando norris is a little LIAR

mclaren when he steals a plane and wears bucket hats 🫵🤣 everyone point and laugh

landonorris I QUITE LIKE BUCKET HATS

mclaren i quite like bucket hats 🇬🇧☕️🤓

maxverstappen1 🫵🤣

danielricciardo 🫵🤣

charles_leclerc 🫵🤣

carlossainz55 🫵🤣

maxfewtrell 🫵🤣

oscarpiastri 🫵🤣

landonorris OSCAR????

oscarpiastri 🫵🤣 🫵🤣 🫵🤣

mclaren damn he got you there

user37 this cannot be real

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There were quite a few things Lando expected to be on his agenda when he arrived in Bahrain after him and Max went seperate ways to their own teams. He figured he would meet with his engineers, spend some time getting adjusted to working with Oscar (especially given he hadn't had very much time to meet or bond with the rookie over the break or during pre-season testing), and doing some press interviews as per usual. However no where on his list was an impromptu meeting with Zak Brown. Oscar seemed clueless as to what was going on as well, and Lydia, Lando's personal assistant of two years, was just as clueless.

Lando and Oscar filed into the board room, bottles of water in hand, only to be met face to face with their team manager. Nothing seemed suspicious which Lando hoped was a good thing, but after their underwhelming performance in pre-season testing he knew anything was a possibility.

"Have a seat guys, it's good to see you both. I hope you've been well-rested since testing," Zak greeted with his usual cheerful attitude. Lando and Oscar looked at each other warily but nodded at their boss nonetheless. Zak was usually more of a 'get to the point' kind of man, so this change of pace was unnerving to say the least. Normally it scared Lando a little bit, but truthfully, right now, Lando wanted to be done with this meeting and to get to race preparations.

"That's good, you need all the rest you can get if we're going to try and put up a fight this weekend. In all honesty, I think within the next two years we have a chance to become real competition here. I think we can give Red Bull and Ferrari a run for their money and earn plenty of points this year. Hell," the older man chuckled, "maybe we can win it all."

Lando didn't want to seem skeptical, but he was definitely skeptical. He did not think the car he was given in testing could win the championship, but he would sure as hell be trying.

"But no matter how hard the engineers work the car, and no matter how many sims we do, the one thing we're lacking in is presence. McLaren is notable, we have a famous team and a long roster of famous, successful drivers, including the two of you, but we don't have the same dominating media presence that Mercedes or Ferrari do. And that's what gets us sponsors, and celebrity visits, and fans, and funding. We may not be struggling for money, but if you guys like your multi-million dollar salaries and you want your car to keep being better, we need more media presence. Which is why we decided we wanted to go a bit of a different route this year, with media and all of that."

Oh god. Lando knew where this was going. This was about the new social media admin that had been ruthlessly harrasing him- albeit teasingly- for days now. Only employed for less than two weeks and already stirring up the pot across platforms. Lando looked at Oscar, noting that his teammate was clearly following as well now.

"I know you both have come to realize this already, but there is a new social media manager who runs all of the McLaren accounts. We wanted someone young, someone trendy, someone who knew what the internet is looking for, and who can help us connect and start getting more eyes on McLaren. We want her to meet with you guys today to share a couple of ideas so you can be on the same page for what we'll be doing online. The new manager is just outside. Let me get her so you can speak with her."

Lando nodded dumbly. Right, ok, he could do that. Lando was young, he was online, he was trendy. Plus, most of if not all of the F1 drivers had some kind of media presence already. Lando streamed, he had instagram accounts and twitter, and he even had Quadrant. Lando steeled himself. This would be just fine. An adjustment, but fine.

Zak greeted someone outside of the door and a small bit of shuffling sounds were heard. Before Lando had a chance to stand, Zak was turning and nodding a quick goodbye. Leaving the office room, as a smaller body replaced the space he had been in.

Lando felt like the air had been knocked from his lungs and hoped he hadn't made a noise out loud. He stared, he couldn't help it. He was sure he was slack-jawed, mouth agape and flies coming in. Somewhere in the back of his mind he registered that he should be professional and behave like a normal human being. But the other part of his brain, the dominant part of his brain, was in awe.

Lando looked at the girl in front of him up and down, probably far too obviously, and was stunned. He saw jean shorts, a faded and a mid-washed denim. A colorful-tighter cropped shirt and some layered gold jewelery. Rings on her fingers. Sunglasses in her hair, making her look way to cool to ever speak to him. She rocked on the balls of her sneaker-clad feet- sneakers that matched her clothes perfectly much to Lando's delight- and quickly moved to set her laptop down of the table. She left her small colorful handbag on the table alongside a cup of iced coffee that was already melting in the Bahrain heat. She looked as if she had jumped straight from a Vogue cover (or one of his favorite dreams) and landed right in front of him.

Was it the heat that was making it so hot? Because Lando was becoming suddenly aware of the heat beneath his shirt collar. A stifled cough from Oscar drew Lando from his observation- or rather his creepy, stalker staring- and Lando realized this was not the social etiquette that the situation called for.

Before Lando could even take a step, the girl smirked.

"Nice to finally meet you guys. Hello Oscar," the girl leaned over and shook the taller man's hand. "And Lord Lando, is it? It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Y/N L/N, i'm the new social media manager for the season."

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Y/N could now officially say she is not a fan of Lando Norris. The online feud she had cleverly created to generate some conversation about McLaren before the season started had been banter. She had taken no offense to Lando's jokes at all, but now that she was in front of the man and could feel his judgement, her opionions had changed.

From the second she walked in Lando had begun unabashedly staring at her. Looking her up and down, from the shoes she had recently bought to the hair clipped back on her head, and was not sparing a single detail. She felt vaguely like a mannequin on display and it unnerved her.

Oscar smiled at her politely as she set her things down, and she felt thankful for the reprieve from the judgement and critcism she had been recieving since she arrived and was now experiencing again from Lando in full force.

Y/N was aware that her outfit wasn't uniform or professional, but those were not the qualities she was hired for. Y/N had been confident coming in here, feeling like she would likely connect better with people her own age, but was thoroughly dissapointed to find this was not the case.

Oscar ultimately cleared his throat awkwardly, and it appeared as though this finally snapped Lando out of his judgemental stupor, so Y/N decided to finally make her introductions.

"Nice to finally meet you guys, hello Oscar," she leaned over and shook the taller man's hand. "And Lord Lando, is it? It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Y/N L/N, i'm the new social media manager for the season."

Lando groaned loudly and Oscar laughed.

"Lando I don't think you'll ever live this one down," and Y/N forced a laugh and nodded in agreeance.

"No, probably not. But that's good, that's what I was hoping for." Y/N stated bluntly.

"You were hoping to torture me?" Lando stuttered out and Y/N rolled her eyes, "You'll live I promise." Oscar laughed before pointing out, "at least your not a kindergartener."

Lando stifled a laugh but agreed.

"What purpose did Oscar's baby jokes serve?" Lando asked, and Y/N forced herself not to punch the man at his judgemental tone. He clearly didn't believe in her ability to do her job.

"It's funny, that was it's purpose," she stated, gesturing to the table for the boys to sit as she opened up her laptop. She turned to face toward them, lifting herself slightly so was seated criss-crossed in the chair. She never had liked sitting normally. The boys across from her stared at her expectantly.

"So you create jokes the make people look at us more?" Oscar asked.

"In a way yes. My job is to manage the accounts, but I've also been hired to help get you guys more fans. Fans love to be interacted with, they love seeing you guys joke around, they like feeling like they have content to consume," Y/N explained.

"By playing into these desires, you get more fans, because they feel they 'know you" in a way they don't know the other drivers." The boys nodded their head in understanding.

"So the plan is for me to keep interacting with fans through the McLaren accounts, playing up jokes with you too, and for us to give the fans new content in a way they don't usually get it. Livestreams, youtube vlogs, inside internet jokes, TikToks, the works." Y/N stated.

"Essentially," she said dragging the word out, "I'm going to make you guys the internet's little papaya stars," Lando laughed but nodded. Y/N, despite her first impressions and her developing dislike for the driver, found herself smiling. She could see the vision. Both Oscar and Lando would be awkward and loveable and humorous. The perfect mix for internet support.

"So where do we start?" Oscar asked.

"I'm glad you asked," Y/N smirked. "Have you heard the clip of 'Cuffing Season' by SZA? There's a TikTok trend I think will be perfect for you to do."

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user38 can we talk about how gorgeous admin is?!?!? LIKE OH MY GOD

user10 only hot people go to mclaren

user40 that check better be huge for her

user41 oscar was so mf stiff 💀💀 free my boy

user42 who had a gun to oscars head, he was so scared

user43 lando thirst trapping ICB 😭 I NEED A BIG BOYYY

user44 god admin is so sexy and smart, that was art

user45 CAN WE DISCUSS HOW LANDO LOOKS AT HER

user46 ikr 💀 get off the floor lando your drooling

user47 i want a man to be that down bad for me

user48 lando loverboy era unlocked

user49 meanwhile admin didn't look him in the face

user50 f1 2023 is going to be a WILD RIDE for us mclaren fans if this is before the first race even starts

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hope you all enjoyed! please let me know your thoughts and feel free to leave a request for me to write something for your fav <3

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@lemon-lav @slutforpopculture @m4rt10ne