#(his song title is literally in Red and Green)

[miyamiwu]

I was scanning YE3 for a particular frame, only to find more elements to add to my traffic light / color / blood and fire theories (these three work on the same principle, just at different angles)

I think I finally know what yellow means, as well as what role Xia Fei plays in all this. Just give me a few days to consolidate my thoughts

Edit: please reblog this updated version of the post.

[deanbrainrotwritings]

— colder than my heart, if you can imagine

SUMMARY : you and soldier boy can’t seem to get along, but it may be because of something deeper than hatred or jealousy. 

PAIRING : soldier boy (ben) x fem!reader

CHARACTERS : Payback

WARNINGS/TAGS : explicit(18+), soldier boy cloak-hating, dirty talk

WORD COUNT : 2.3k

A/N : title from a day to remember’s song. this fills the square rivals AU on my @jacklesversebingo card. I know, no smut in the presence of soldier boy?! what?!! xx 

This was it.

This was where he belonged. Soldier Boy. In the field. Well, it was a forest.

But this was home to him. 

The sound of weapons firing, bullets hitting trees and leaves and dirt. Soldiers on both sides and his team were shouting in every direction. 

Thick smoke clouded his vision, coppery blood and gunpowder invaded his nose, and stale sweat filled the air to make it all better. 

He inhaled deeply as a group of poorly-armoured men headed in his direction, their guns were immediately pointed at him. He smirked and counted them in his head as he drew his gun from its holster with impressive speed.

Faster than he could pull the trigger, though, he watched you drop down from the sky like the fucking Devil getting cast out of Heaven. A loud boom shook the ground, the trees shook, dirt rose and shot outwards, and all the smoke ran from you. 

Your cloak snapped at him mockingly and he clenched his jaw, nearly broke his gun in half as you stole the fucking spotlight again.

There you fucking were, a neon sign that begged to be shot at. 

Ice cold sheets travelled in front of you as soon as you hit the ground, your knees bent in what he could only imagine was your graceful pose. 

Arrogant little shit.

The ice searched for warm bodies, freezing everyone in icy cocoons within fifty metres while you stood there in your brightly lit, colour changing suit, and your stupid fucking cape.

He’d heard of you. 

Winter’s Wrath. 

Unstable. Literally. As expected, with a name like that. 

He watched you jump upwards, three times the length of your body before you smashed back down and every pillar of ice that was once a person, shattered into nothing. The ice quickly melted in the summer of South America, as if those glacial shards could do so only with your permission. 

“I had that,” he grunted, stomping forward to get in front of your face. Your dark grey cloak was lit by delicate, fine wires of light that changed colour: red to orange to yellow to green to blue to violet, and finally to pink before going right back. 

“I’m just here to help,” you assured him softly. 

Your eyes met his, but it was like he was only a ghost to you. Your gaze was distant at first, then you blinked once in confusion, and finally focused on him. He realised quickly, you were just watching the lights of your armour change and brighten his face. 

Yup. There was something wrong with you in the head, at least that’s what the other Supes said about you. 

“Stay out of my way,” he warned, his voice nearly a deep growl as he stood in your personal space. You considered his words with a blank face and he huffed out a breath of irritation when you stared at him for a good minute. Then, he stepped away and walked forward to rendezvous with his team. 

He heard the soft press of your feet against mud and the quiet ruffle of your cloak before he heard the gentleness of your unused voice. 

“Can’t,” you said more playfully, “I’m part of your team for this mission.” 

It’s like you knew he wanted anything but that. Someone that would outshine, outperform, and outdo him. He hated it. Everyone was already terrified of you. But he especially hated the colourful lights that followed you and the stupid sound of your cloak whipping your armour as you walked. 

“Got a problem with that, Ben?” You asked when you started to match his pace. He stopped to answer and expected you to do so, too, to listen to him like everyone else always did. Instead, you continued to walk forward while he remained behind you. He growled softly when you passed him and told him, “talk to Stan Edgar.”

He couldn't wait for them to put you back on ice. Preserved. Asleep. Like you always ended up after being awake any longer than a month.

For whatever reason.

“For three years, the CIA and the DEA have been trying to bring down Victor Santiago,” you heard over your ear piece. 

You spaced out as you admired the green of the Ecuadorian forest. A smile tugged at your lips as you breathed in the fresh air of untouched atmosphere, petrichor, wood. Leaves kissed each other, branches bent to touch their companions with quiet creaks, and animals sang their songs of peace and joy. 

Finally away from the city. 

“Santiago got his hands on sensitive Vought information. You’re here to keep Vought’s secrets safe from whatever Santiago has planned. Push into the forest, find his base, and take him out.”

It didn’t take long for you to remember that you weren’t actually alone. 

“It’s so fucking hot,” Tessa complained, mostly to her twin brother. 

“And all this fuckin’ leather doesn’t make it better,” Tommy agreed. You heard him stretch the leather away from his body and snap back at his skin when he got enough fresh air in. 

You rolled your eyes at them and instantly smelt the irritating stench of cigarettes from Soldier Boy. He made his way next to you and took a deep long drag that turned the butt of the cigarette red before releasing the smoke from his lungs in front of him like a damned smoke grenade went off. 

Leave it to the assholes in Payback to ruin what would have otherwise been a great time. 

“All right, fuckheads,” Soldier Boy started, walking a few feet in front of you as he adjusted his shield. “You know what to fuckin’ do and don’t forget…” He turned around and locked eyes with you—even pointed accusingly at you. “…Victor’s mine.” 

You bit your lip to hide your smug smirk, but settled for a fake cough as ideas to ruin his day swarmed through your mind. 

He ventured deep into the forest with Payback spread out to cover more land. 

He could still hear the buzz of Swatto’s wings on his left and caught glimpses of the Crimson Countess a few feet away to his right. 

But most importantly, you were off elsewhere, somewhere he couldn’t see. 

He didn’t want to see you or even feel the coldness of your existence near him. 

He’d had enough of the way everyone seemed to be drawn to you because of your abilities. His team, Stan Edgar, other Supes, and people who wrote articles about you—practically worshipped you. 

He could always control his team and keep them beneath him, within the shadow of the name he built for himself through Vought. But you were impossible to tame, like a blizzard. You froze everyone so they could only stare in awe at you, even himself. And he hated every second that you captivated him, caught up in your powerful presence. 

But it was inevitable. You were inevitable.

No matter how big the forest was, he’d converge with you one way or another as you and his team made it to Victor’s compound around the same time.

But you made sure it was clear that you were there first. 

He felt the ground shake and a gust of cold wind bit his cheeks when he entered to find the enemy forces that you came across completely frozen.

He knew you were doing it on purpose, leaving their fully frozen bodies untouched for him to finish off. He wasn’t going to play that game with you.

He ignored the call for his name and the red sphere from Crimson Countess that shattered the bodies when Ben hurried to catch up with you instead. 

He joined you when you came to an entrance where the guard stood, he could feel you start up again. The coldness of you beat down the heat of him, an ice pack to a swollen joint. He might literally become nothing if you climbed your way up above him.

You left the guard beaten, out of his mind in pain, and focused your attention on freezing the door until it burst open. He shot the guard carelessly between the eyes, his fiery gaze burned into you, but you were unphased.

You turned to face him, your lashes fluttering prettily at him. Smug. Challenging.

If he didn’t hate you, he might’ve liked the way you looked at him. 

But you left him standing at the entrance, looking over your shoulder with a tiny smile on your lips as you came near to a new, massive space with shipping containers and an infantry of what were most-likely henchmen.

There you went again.

Delicate. Elegant. But so irritatingly powerful. 

You took most of them out with the wrathful frost of your abilities. A fresh skiff of snow fell to the ground, on his armour, on his warm skin. He felt the shiver run up his spine but he ignored it to keep up with you. 

That’s when his team finally caught up and it gave you a chance to leave the remaining henchmen to Payback. It was still a race to you, the childish game you were playing annoyed him, but it provoked him into playing along to prove he was the best. He ignored his struggling team and stayed a step behind you as you made it to an old elevator where a small group of goons attempted to escape.

He grunted as he was shot at and punched. He staved off a few attacks with his shield, he punched at whoever got in his way, stabbed at whoever tried to stab him first, and finally was able to reload his gun while he watched you hold the elevator in place.

He joined you once he killed the last few henchmen and helped you drag the elevator all the way down. The thick wires creaked and snapped and blazed at the force of his pull. 

Your laughter distracted him momentarily. Your hood fell back and your soft hair swept over your flushed face when you leaned down towards the three men. You dragged the two of them out by their ankles with a playful grin.

Their attempts to shoot you were futile, the bullets fell from your body like rubber hitting metal. You still kicked away their weapons and pressed your boot into one of the men’s neck. Ben killed the other two as you began questioning the squirming, fearful man.

“Where’s Victor?” You loosened the force of your foot on his neck and the man gripped the bottom of your boot for a proper breath. 

“Come on, fuckface,” Ben urged impatiently, “answer the lady or you’ll end up like these guys.” The man hesitated and considered you and then him. You looked indifferent and cold and Ben looked furious and hotheaded. 

The man conceded with a vehement nod. “T-There's a base underneath.. That's w-where you'll find V-Victor.” 

Ben watched you release him entirely and you went to help the man up, but Ben shot him—casually. The man’s fingers grazed yours and he flopped back down in a pool of his brains and blood. 

You turned to glare at him.

“Yeah?” Ben rolled his eyes at you. 

“Why’d you do that?” 

“He gave us the information,” he shrugged, then made his way to the elevator with you close behind him for the first time since the mission started. 

“It’s not gonna be an easy path leading up to Victor, Ben,” you berated him. He rolled his eyes at you again and pounded the button on the wall with a fist to take you both to the lowest level. “He could’ve made it easier for us.”

“Well, since it bothers you so much, I give less of a fuck than I did before.” You scoffed at him and your jaw clenched. He smirked at your reaction and reloaded his gun to be fully prepared for the next fight. “I don’t think we’ve ever been together in such a small space for this long before,” he pointed out hotly and stepped closer. 

He really didn’t like you, but damn you were hot. Your ass looked so damned tight in your irritatingly light-y suit. He really wanted a piece of you, maybe, especially because you frustrated him. 

Your eyes narrowed at his tone. You looked up at him boredly. “That's because I don’t like you.”

“No?” 

“Yeah, no.” 

“I could make you cum like all your ice went through a fuckin’ heatwave.” He watched your eyes drift away as you pondered his words, your cheeks suddenly frosted with pink. He bit his lip at your reaction.

But the elevator shook as it stopped, landing on the floor where Victor would be. And you were out of there before he could add more to his offer. 

You continued to push through more loyal soldiers, making your way deeper inside. He helped you navigate several hallways and eliminate more enemies. You both split up again, but you always ended up at a nexus point, a hallway that led to a dead end up ahead.

He watched you go into a hallway across from him, but when he emerged from his, you didn’t meet him at the centre. 

He knew you must have found Victor. 

He swore angrily under his breath and stomped into the hallway you’d disappeared into. The lights flickered above him, there was a frozen path you’d created leading into the room he assumed you were in. 

He didn’t expect it, but you kept Victor practically untouched—he just didn’t know why. His feet frozen to the ground, there were no weapons near him. You were sitting on top of a desk, a frozen dagger began melting with warm blood in the head of Victor’s right-hand-man.

He looked away from them, away from Victor with a patch of ice over his mouth to muffle the sounds of his voice. You bit your lip and gazed up at him seductively when he contemplated you with wary eyes.

“Truce?” 

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[belladonnafeli]

List of Prophecies in ASOIAF and People wanting to take the magic out of the series

It’s my personal opinion that this fandom sometimes has a tendency to try to write off the magic in the series as not real. Or as unimportant, completely ignoring that this is still a fantasy series. An example of this are the prophecies that we get within the story. People in the fandom will write them off as being not true or untrustworthy and to a certain extent they are right but not in the way people believe. 

If visions and prophecies aren't true then what is the point of Bran being a greenseer? What is the purpose of Daenerys’ dragon dream that saves her from committing suicide in A Game Of Thrones? It’s Dany’s visions and dreams that help her birth the dragons. Dragons being one of the main sources of magic, hence the title A Song Of Ice and Fire.

The problem in my opinion is that people don’t know the literary device George is using to convey his messages. The way George uses the prophecies is through the literary device that is “dramatic irony”. Dramatic Irony is a type of irony where the reader knows something that the characters do not. 

Examples of Prophecies:

Daenys the dreamer seeing the doom of Valyria

Jojen's green dreams about Bran and about the iron born coming to winterfell.

 “I dreamed that the sea was lapping all around Winterfell. I saw black waves crashing against the gates and towers, and then the salt water came flowing over the walls and filled the castle. Drowned men were floating in the yard.

Bran and the people of Winterfell have no idea what this means, but us as readers have Theon’s chapters and know that the Iron men worship the drowned god, so we know that its them.

A good chunk of Dany's visions in the House of the undying.

She came upon a feast of corpses. Savagely slaughtered, the feasters lay strewn across overturned chairs and hacked trestle tables, asprawl in pools of congealing blood. Some had lost limbs, even heads. Severed hands clutched bloody cups, wooden spoons, roast fowl, heels of bread. In a throne above them sat a dead man with the head of a wolf. He wore an iron crown and held a leg of lamb in one hand as a king might hold a scepter.

Maggy the Frog and her prophecy about Cersei.

"Queen you shall be . . . until there comes another, younger and more beautiful, to cast you down and take all that you hold dear."

Will the king and I have children?" she asked. "Oh, aye. Six-and-ten for him, and three for you."

"Gold shall be their crowns and gold their shrouds," she said. "And when your tears have drowned you, the valonqar shall wrap his hands about your pale white throat and choke the life from you."

"Worms will have your maidenhead. Your death is here tonight, little one. Can you smell her breath? She is very close."

 Red wedding by Patchface 

We literally get like three prophecies about the Red Wedding well before it happens.

"Fool's blood, king's blood, blood on the maiden's thigh, but chains for the guests and chains for the bridegroom, aye aye aye."

All of these prophecies have come true or they will come true. And typically if you really look into the text you can infer how. What George shows us in the books is that yes, prophecy is true and real but trying to force it or stop it cannot change what the prophecy is meant to do. I’ll use an example to prove my point. First with Mirri Maz Durr, she believes that Daenerys’ child Rhaego will be the stallion who mounts the world. Mirri believes in killing Rhaego she has stopped this prophecy but what she fails to realize is that by doing this she’s only setting the prophecy in motion because Daenerys is the stallion who mounts the world.

“As swift as the wind he rides, and behind him his khalasar covers the earth, men without number, with arakhs shining in their hands like blades of razor grass. Fierce as a storm this prince will be. His enemies will tremble before him, and their wives will weep tears of blood and rend their flesh in grief. The bells in his hair will sing his coming, and the milk men in the stone tents will fear his name. The prince is riding, and he shall be the stallion who mounts the world.” “As swift as the wind he rides” “Tell Khal Drogo he has given me the wind” When Khal Drogo gives Dany her Silver. , “Fierce as a storm this prince will be” Daenerys Stormborn. In killing Rhaego she hasn't stopped anything, only further set things in motion. 

Not to mention the Ghost of High Hearts prophecies which all come true  

“The old gods stir and will not let me sleep. I dreamt I saw a shadow with a burning heart butchering a golden stag (Renly Baratheon), aye. I dreamt of a man without a face, waiting on a bridge that swayed and swung. On his shoulder perched a drowned crow with seaweed hanging from his wings (Euron Greyjoy). I dreamt of a roaring river and a woman that was a fish. Dead she drifted, with red tears on her cheeks, but when her eyes did open (Lady Stoneheart), oh, I woke from terror. All this I dreamt, and more. 

I dreamt a wolf howling in the rain, but no one heard his grief. I dreamt such a clangor I thought my head might burst, drums and horns and pipes and screams (Red Wedding), but the saddest sound was the little bells. I dreamt of a maid (Sansa Stark) at a feast with purple serpents in her hair, venom dripping from their fangs (Purple Wedding). And later I dreamt that maid again, slaying a savage giant in a castle built of snow. 

We can assume that the last line is Sansa slaying Littlefinger based off of these quotes from the last Sansa chapter in ASOS “A giant” the boy whispered, weeping. “It wasn’t me, it was a giant hurt the castle. She killed him!” “A mad rage seized hold of her. She picked up a broken branch and smashed the torn doll’s head down on top of it, then pushed it down atop the shattered gatehouse of her snow castle. “If tales be true, that’s not the first giant to end up with his head on Winterfell’s walls”. 

What I’m trying to say with all of this is that the fandom's dismissal of prophecy makes no sense to me. We as readers have more context than the characters in the story so of course we know what will and won’t happen. 

[thecoolerliauditore]

long post: the neck kisses playlist on joel's spotify is about jimmy (and kind of etho too a little bit)

it's not actually about jimmy it very much is not about jimmy. however I had visions when I listened to it and I know at least one person really wants me to put this into words so

"I Miss Having Sex But At Least I Don't Wanna Die Anymore" is a pretty straightforward song about Awsten Knight's post-break-up life as well as his frustrations with his fanbase.

The feelings post-break-up are described as freeing, hence the title ".. don't wanna die anymore" but the ending of the song hints at some nagging regret despite that, with the desperate repeating mantra of "but I think it's fine, it's cool"

While I don't think all of these songs signify chronology (and some I don't think are literal at all unless c!Joel has some weird daddy issue lore I'm unaware of), I do like to think the start of the playlist calls to pre-3L jimmy/joel, most specifically their relationship in x-life.

In x-life, Joel establishes a totally-not-cult religion he dubs "Jeremyism", Jimmy being his first member after he fails to trick Lizzie into joining. He later gives up his leader title, quote, "for content". Jimmy is unhappy with this development and begs Joel to stay, but Joel refuses. While their relationship in x-life would be hard to define as romantic in any sense, they were clearly fond of eachother before Joel eventually broke away.

Things get a bit hazy here since "for content" doesn't really translate to anything in-universe, but I think it's interesting to note that both the song and Joel mention an audience, specifically one that they feel the need to appease. Whether this is a metaphor or watcher lore or some secret third thing I have no idea but it sure is there 👍

In my mind, it goes like this: Jimmy and Joel meet, they hit it off, Jimmy is affectionate and Joel starts to catch feelings. Joel cuts Jimmy off for making him feel weird.

the second song in the playlist reinforces this, being a much angrier post-break-up song.

While this seems out-of-order (why does the immediate anger come after the song about life after the break-up?), I think it's interesting if you look at it from an angle of this not being fully Joel's feelings towards Jimmy, but Joel's frustration towards himself for messing it up.

with a little bit of frustration being placed on jimmy too:

pictured: joel in third life with a message from jimmy that he very much. does not answer.

personally I like to think Joel held a lot of resentment towards Jimmy in Third Life, both for homophobic reasons (i.e. you made me feel gay and now I'm gonna punish you for it) and for jealousy reasons (start of his number one scott hater arc)

this one's just in the wrong playlist first of all why does he insert this between two waterparks songs. whatever man.

anyway this song's interesting to me because it's literally just about a hot babe getting rejected by some fuck who refuses to be ball-and-chained.

there's two directions this could go imo: one is that this is, once again, evoking joel and jimmy's relationship. Joel acknowledges that he a life with Jimmy would be nice, but he refuses to settle down because it would rob him of his identity/freedom.

the other is that brandy is joel and the sailor is etho, since brandy shows an admiration for the sailor but also an awareness that he loves his job more than her

this storybook like description of how brandy saw the sailor's tales is very smalletho to me idk. very hand-in-hand with joel's child-like view of who etho is.

I don't have much for this one tbh it's pretty much just a love song and Joel really liking waterparks (king)

That being said, there's some fun imagery to play with here:

yellow = jimmy makes a lot of sense (blonde hair, canary imagery, yellow also representing people on their second life in the life series which evokes neither the assumed skillfulness of a late game green name nor the danger of a red name), as does green = joel (the green streak. shrek. yeahg. and while red joel is iconic "green like my insides" could also be read in this context as "deep down, I am safe to be around" which I think is neat)

"natural blue" is a bit harder to interpret (especially considering the original context of this being a joke about Awsten dyeing his hair) but blue is of course scott's colour. this could be read spitefully as Natural blue (was in love with jimmy first) vs scott's dyed hair or it's. joel saying that's he's gay idk man.

"at least I match your eyes" is pretty simple, with both of them having brown eyes, "jealous and hypnotized" once again alluding to some jealousy, likely towards FH again if you believe the blue line is alluding to scott.

however joel has plenty of people to be jealous of in regard to jimmy so. shrugs. hey you can even interpret this line as talking about jimmy's desirability. neat.

there's also this, which again might allude to flower husbands, implying in this fake world I've created that Joel doesn't view them as actually "married"

ok this is getting too long lmao see you guys next time i feel like writing about this stupid fucking playlist again

[kowaiitenshii]

[Sunkiller Lullaby]

Pairing: Darth Vader x Reader 

Plot Summary: A slave girl given to The Empire as a token of loyalty, known as the Flower of Beauty on your long since destroyed homeplanet, you’re nearly sent back to be executed before Darth Vader deems you worthy of saving. What will happen as you form a new life as the personal servant to a Sith Lord? 

Warnings: Canon-level violence. Murder. Mentions of death. Corruption. Canon-divergent. Unburnt!Vader. Reader is a former slave. Vader is his own warning. Descriptions of mistreatment. AFAB reader, feminine pronouns & descriptions used. 18+ content to come in later chapters.

Words: 4.1k

A/N: Here it is! My first time writing anything Star Wars related, but most certainly not the last :) I’ve thought about this for a long time, but some things may still seem OOC so I’m sorry for that! Otherwise, please enjoy!

(p.s. I highly recommend you give a listen to the song that gave this fic its title, Sun Killer by Spiritbox!)

Part I:

The trembling sound of chains dragging across slick tiled flooring wakes you as two Stormtroopers led by an Imperial Commander haul you carelessly through the corridors of what you assume to be an Imperial ship. 

The air is cold on your bare skin, and the harsh grip of the Stormtroopers on your arms feels enough to be bruising. 

Blinking blearily through the shroud of unconsciousness, there is a palpable darkness hanging in the very air around you, as if it had been waiting for you, billowing over you and filling your lungs like smoke. 

The Stormtroopers drag your limp body into a huge open room in the core of the ship with high rounded ceilings and walls, all white, controls blinking throughout the room in greens and reds. 

 You don’t even have time to take in your surroundings and think before the Commander and Troopers stop abruptly, the Commander taking a step to the left side, revealing what they’ve brought you here for. 

That’s when you finally see the presence that you’ve sensed since you awoke. 

The imminent Sith Lord Darth Vader stands before the lot of you, his aura pulsing and filling the room, making the very air thick. His helmet has an appropriately severe expression to it and his cape billows around him as he turns. 

The commander and troopers stand straight as pins, their nerves radiating off of them.  You feel as if you could be sick.

“What is the meaning of this, Commander?” the Sith Lord demands, his booming voice breaking through the oppressive silence. 

Despite your intense fear of the outcome, you stand straight within the confines of the grip the troopers have on you. You hold your head high, despite the icy dread that washes over you in waves. Your years as a slave had taught you well, and you dared not show fear in the face of those who would subdue you. 

The Commander swallows, putting on his best little soldier facade as he speaks before his master. 

“A gift from the Hutts, Lord Vader.” the man speaks with enthusiastic trepidation. “They wish to show their loyalty to the Empire. They called her ‘The Flower’ of her home planet, for her beauty.” he babbles as he informs his master.

You subtly roll your eyes at the way the Commander sounds exactly like a used parts salesman. 

Darth Vader stares at you for a prolonged moment, and you hate the way that you cannot tell where he’s looking. You stare back at him despite the sinking in your stomach, refusing to look away, to submit. 

The rule of those in power was that of animals, those who submit die. 

You knew that well. 

“Send her back.” The Sith Lord commands plainly, and your heart drops. 

Your ears ring as you hear the commander stumbling. 

“S-Sir, I’m afraid we can’t simply ‘send her back’, she was a gift, and she-she, um.” he pauses to take in a shaky breath. “Her planet was destroyed long ago my Lord, if we send her back, she will be dishonoured and they’ll just kill-”

You jump slightly as the commander is suddenly cut off, literally choking on his words. Vader clenches his fist in front of him tightly as he chokes the man using an unseen force. 

“Then perhaps you should have considered this sooner, Commander.” Vader spits.

The commander is rooted in his spot, turning purple and clawing at his throat. 

Vader looks again to you, glued to the spot, pale as a ghost and trembling, and you can feel him creeping through the very life force within your body, tickling under your skin and flowing through your blood stream. 

“Take her away.” The Sith Lord commands the troopers with a flick of his wrist. 

The troopers drag you away, the sickening sound of the commander’s neck snapping echoing behind you as a tear slides down your cheek. 

However, to your surprise, the troopers don’t lead you to a ship, or a pod, or containment. Instead, they unceremoniously dump you into a large and lavishly furnished Imperial suite, the door sliding shut behind them. 

You spend a moment there on the carpet, wiping your tears and trying to calm your fear of the uncertainty before really taking a moment to look at your surroundings. 

Still sniffling, you pull yourself together and get to your feet. You’re in a large room, darkly-coloured with ambient lighting throughout. The magnificent bed with silken, plush sheets of crimson is the centrepiece of the room. 

To the right side of the bed there is a large window in the room, spanning the length of nearly the entire wall adorned with tasselled curtains.

Adjacent to the front of the bed is an entrance to a large washroom, equipped with both a soaking tub and a walk-in glass shower. 

You’re shocked as you marvel at the luxuries at your disposal, revelling in the abundance of the suite. It’s like nowhere you’ve ever had the chance to inhabit before. 

You waste no time in taking a lengthy bath, filling the tub with the salts and oils provided. The hot water does you well, soothing your aching muscles and your anxious soul. You can’t even remember how long it had been since you soaked, often being doused by cold water by your captors or simply being forced to bathe in streams. 

You shudder at the memories. 

You then dress yourself in the thick robes provided in your closet, and bask in the newfound comfort. 

Nobody bothers you for the remainder of the evening, left with nothing but your thoughts and the passing stars beyond the window. You solemnly ponder your fate, curious of Lord Vader’s intentions. 

You knew very well that he easily could have disposed of you the moment he laid eyes on you, which leaves you with a horrifying question. 

Why keep you? 

If he was keeping you, that is. You knew your life was not entirely guaranteed, but then why would Vader waste his time in keeping you for a night? 

This is what scares you. 

Never finding an answer that satisfies you, you lay in the satin sheets with the unnerving feeling that somebody is watching, creeping just out of the edges of your mind; close enough to feel them, too far to see. 

In the meantime, Darth Vader sits in contemplation in the privacy of his chambers. Taking you in is undoubtedly an inconvenience, and he would have to think long and hard to find an explanation worthy of the Emperor.

However, for reasons he did not fully understand… he could not deny you. He had no doubt of your status as the Flower, the beauty of your homeworld, that was evident. What intrigued him however, was your signature in the force. He could feel your presence so acutely, piercing through him like the ringing of bells. 

He had no doubt you were sensitive to it. 

If this were to be true, you could indeed be quite useful to both he and the Emperor, given the implication that he could break you to the dark side. 

He could feel your resentment, your anger, your lust for power; no doubt instilled in you by your years spent in torment. 

So it was decided. 

He would accept you, house you, mold you. And then he would break you.

Turning away from his window with purpose, he leaves to find a Commander to send a message. 

As you drift into sleep, you feel the dark presence again, tickling at the corners of your mind, creeping at the corners and crawling on the ceilings. 

You try your best to shove it away, but it’s stronger, more steadfast than you are. 

Unable to push the dark presence away, you relent, pulling your blankets tighter around yourself and trying to ignore the uneasiness. 

Eventually, you fall into fitful sleep, your mind full of dreams. For the most part they are very average dreams. Dreams of living an ordinary life, doing ordinary things. That is, except for the fleeting shadow that looms over your shoulders, or the piercing eyes you catch glimpses of in the darkness. 

The next morning you’re left to sleep as long as you please, waking up on your own agenda for the first time in countless years. Dragging yourself out of bed, your body still tired from dreaming the entire night through, you rise and dress yourself in darkly-coloured robes and underdresses. As you brush out your hair, anxiety begins seeping back in. You still had no clue as to why you were kept alive, or if your life was even safe to begin with. No idea what would be done with you, and no way of escape. 

After you’ve finished grooming, you’re greeted by a friendly droid sent to bring you breakfast. You eat well, offered a spread of toasted breads, honeyed butters, jams, and all manners of fruits and meat. 

The droid speaks up once you’ve finished, chirping news at you. 

“Lord Vader has requested your presence once you’re adequately satisfied, madam.” it announces cheerfully. 

Your stomach drops at the thought, moving from comfortably satisfied to anxiously nauseous in a matter of moments. 

Swallowing thickly, you part your lips to question the droid. 

“Did…Did he mention why?” you curse yourself for faltering. 

“No ma’am.” the droid answers to your dismay. “Lord Vader is exceedingly private in his affairs. I am afraid I am merely a messenger.” 

Feeling yourself go pale, you nod slowly in response. 

“I shall meet with him as soon as possible.” You concede, your voice barely higher than a whisper. 

The droid throws its hands up joyfully, exclaiming its reply. 

“Splendid! Lord Vader would like you to meet him in his private quarters, I shall inform him of your arrival!” The droid declares before abruptly leaving the suite. 

Left with your thoughts, your mind wanders in circles. You wonder about the Sith Lord’s intentions, about what he will do with you. About if the treatment you’ve been receiving was just a penance paid for your impending death. You wonder about your fate, if this was meant to be your last meal. 

For a short while you’re sick with worry. That is, until you remember your years spent under slavery. Those years in which you would have begged for the release of death; Those years in which you made peace with the quiet solace of oblivion. 

It is when you remind yourself of this truth that you finally gather yourself from the table.

This is an opportunity, you tell yourself, and you dare not waste it. 

After a short while, the droid returns to fetch you. As you traverse the sleek hallways with the silent droid, your ice cold nerves sink in. Your stomach twists in knots, becoming nauseous once again on your luxuriant breakfast. 

The droid's artificial voice cuts sharply through the tense silence. 

“I notice you’ve become pale, and your heart rate is increasing. These are common symptoms of anxiety.” the droid states in a cheerful tone. You chuckle slightly at the droid’s matter-of-factness. 

“Yes,” you laugh. “I must be honest, I am a little nervous to meet with Lord Vader.” you give the droid the understatement of the century, and saying it outloud only makes the knot in your gut tie tighter. 

“Not to worry!” the droid chirps “If Lord Vader meant to kill you, he would not go to the trouble of speaking with you first!” the droid attempts to reassure you. It does little to make you feel any better, your blood running cold from the words. 

You spend the rest of the walk in silence, steeling your nerves. The droid stops abruptly at a large doorway, entering a combination into the keypad on the wall and stepping to the side as the door slides open. 

���Here we are!” the droid chimes. “Lord Vader awaits you.”

The droid bows to you, and you nod your thanks to it before stepping into the doorway, the door sliding shut behind you. 

Before you even  step out of the entryway, you can hear the unnerving sound of the Sith Lord’s mechanical breathing just beyond, sending chills down your spine. 

The room is large and open, covered in control panels and other strange technology save for the wall length window. You take a deep breath as you spot Vader by the expansive window, his back turned to you. The sight of him alone, broad back turned to you, dressed in his  all-black suit and floor-length cape instils terror in you. 

Here you were, alone in a room with the most powerful and most dangerous man in the whole galaxy. 

Despite yourself and the urge to run screaming within, you pull it together and begin your approach. Holding your head high, you come to stand at the window next to the Sith Lord. 

“Lord Vader,” you begin calmly before bowing “You sent for me?” you ask, hands shaking. 

Finally, he turns to his left to regard you. The lights of the stars and the Imperial fleet beyond the window reflect off of his permanently scowling helmet, the unmoving coldness of its expression doing nothing to calm your nerves. The only thing that grounds you in this moment is the sound of the slow, deep breaths he takes. 

“Yes.” Lord Vader affirms sternly. “I’d like to make you an offer.” 

He catches you off guard with this, and you falter in reply. 

“A-An offer?” you curse yourself again for stuttering, praying to the maker and straightening up as he turns fully to face you. 

It’s only then that you notice how tall he truly is, having to crane your neck to look him in the face as he looms over you, heat rising to your cheeks purely from nerves. 

“Yes,” he states plainly. “I would like you to become my sole personal servant.”

His words fall upon you with the weight of a thousand stones, your knees beginning to shake from the implication alone, threatening to crumble beneath the weight. 

Never in a million years would you have believed what the Sith Lord just suggested, and yet there he was suggesting it. 

At the same time, a flame begins to spark in your chest, ignited by hope. Your years as a slave taught you better than to refuse a good offer when you got one.

“As you wish, My Lord.” you accept loud and clear, bowing your head to him in respect, and gratitude. The part of you that is fully entrenched in servitude and the woes of it can’t help but become a bit excited at the promise of security as his personal attendant, while the side of you that remembers freedom feels a measure of guilt for relenting so quickly. 

Still, your life was more important than the guilt you felt for agreeing to serve him. Anyone in your shoes would do the same, you were sure of it. 

He hums in satisfaction at your response, nodding.

“Very well then. Starting tomorrow, you will serve me, and me alone.” he commands firmly. You only nod, looking up at him and listening attentively as he continues. 

“You are to be at my disposal at all hours, save for when I command you to leave.” He states. While the idea pierces you with dread, you nod your compliance all the same. 

“You will come when I call, whenever I call.” He iterates, a drop of venom in his tone. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, my lord.” you affirm as calmly as you can. 

“In return, no expense will be spared in caring for your needs.” he replies. 

You can’t help the warmth that grows within you at the idea. In all your years of servitude, never had anyone given a single thought toward your treatment. Feeling overwhelmed, your breath catches in your throat.

 It feels too good to be true.

 Here you were, thinking the droid was delivering you to your demise, when really you were receiving an opportunity countless others would kill to have. The opportunity for long lost comfort, the opportunity for power. 

You say nothing in response, smirking and nodding like a simpleton. As he notices your enthusiasm, Lord Vader’s tone turns harsh. 

“But do not forget, girl,” he hisses. “I own you.” 

Feeling yourself go pale, you swallow thickly, looking away as a wave of dread and shame washes over you. 

“If you betray the faith I am putting in you, if you disobey The Empire…” he emphasises darkly, before pausing. Although you’re unable to read his expression, you’re sure he’s staring straight through you. His gaze burns you like fire, and you can feel fear gripping your heart. 

“I will not hesitate in cutting you down.” he growls, and you can sense his stone-cold sincerity. You’re frozen with fear, feeling absolutely foolish for being remotely celebratory, even if only internally.

Blood running cold, shivers down your spine, you default to what you learned in your time as a slave. 

Without thinking, acting completely on something akin to muscle memory, you drop to your knees. Steadying yourself with your hands, you press your forehead to the toe of Lord Vader’s boot. 

For slaves, this is an ultimate display of respect and compliance to their masters. 

“Yes, Lord Vader.” you affirm, strong and clear. Vader seems slightly taken aback, stepping back and leaving your forehead to hit the cold tile flooring. Your cheeks go hot as you rise, hoping he understood the gesture as you stand sheepishly before him. 

“Very well.” he speaks again after you stand. “Starting tomorrow, you will act as my personal attendant. You may go. Rest.” He commands, turning away from you once more, his attention going back to the galaxy outside the expansive window. 

Overwhelmed and in a daze, you turn to leave in what feels like slow motion.

 The trip from Vader’s personal quarters back to your suite passes you by in technicolor. Bidding you a polite goodbye, the droid leaves you to your privacy. 

Shell-shocked tears slide silently down your cheeks as you plop onto the bed. The gamble of putting your life in Vader’s hands did not seem like a winning one, but you had no choice. The feeling is gut-wrenching, and tears flow freely now. 

You just felt so god-damned confused, it was making you sick. The last 24 hours hardly seemed real at all. It was useless to wonder ‘why me��� because you knew the answer would not come, but that didn’t stop it from running through your mind on repeat. You once again mourn the life you lived as a free person, the old wounds bleeding once again. 

Your life was not extravagant by any means, living as a local farm hand, but it was simple. It was simple, and it was easy, and it was peaceful. 

On your home planet, you were known by the locals and travellers as the ‘Flower’ of your city for your beauty, kindness, and good grace. These traits along with the rumours about them were the sole reason you had not been on-planet when it was destroyed. 

While your home was under siege, you were stolen and trafficked into slavery for your proposed “worth” to slave traders. 

The years after that, you lived as a ghost in a life that was not yours. 

And now here you were, selling your soul. A better person, a stronger person, would have chosen death over serving the Empire. 

But years of torture had twisted your spirit, broken you. No longer were you that kind and graceful girl from the village everyone had known and loved. Years of torment molded you into something fearful, something hurt and covetous. And you hated yourself for it, though you had no power to change it. The part of you that now craved power, craved vengeance on those who had destroyed you is unchangeable. 

Many years you had spent yearning to torment those who had stolen you, who had taken everything from you. Many nights had you spent dreaming of all the ways you would destroy them given the chance. 

And now here it was, a chance dropped into your very lap. The chance to get close to the face of the Empire. Not only that, but Lord Vader himself guaranteed your safety. There were not many more of those who would be as trustworthy in that guarantee. After all, he was the strongest man in the galaxy. 

Sniffling, you begin to wipe your tears. You had already agreed with Darth Vader, there was no point in tears now anyway. 

If you were to do this, and you were, you were going to do it well. 

Rising from your place on the bed, you finish wiping your tears and begin preparing for the days ahead of you. 

That night is again filled with dreams. 

You find yourself on a lush windswept hillside bordering the sea, the air fresh and salty as it blows through your hair and across your face. Blissfully you stroll along the cliffside, breathing in the fresh air. As you walk, you begin to see a cloaked figure in the distance. 

Really, you sense him before you see him. His energy mirrors that of the sea below, mesmerising, tumultuous, and full of depth. You’re drawn to him, slowly making your way to the place at the edge of the cliff where he stands. 

The sunset melting in hues of pink and orange highlights his figure against the horizon, and when you reach him he turns to face you. 

You’re struck by his beauty, as if he had stepped out of a painting from the old Republic. His jawline is strong, his lips are plump, and he has a heavy brow with sandy coloured curls of shoulder-length hair framing his features. Yet the most striking thing about him is his eyes. They are the very same piercing, fiery eyes that had haunted you the night prior, framed by long cherubic lashes. 

But in this moment, you felt no fear. In fact, you were serenely calm, sensing no malice or ill-intent of the man before you. He too, was very tall as you stood in front of him, having to look up to look him in the eye. 

You both stand there for a long moment, looking at each other, taking each other in and feeling each other’s energies. You can see the compassion and empathy he has for you in his eyes as well as sense it radiating warmly off of him, as if he knows your life, as if he had lived it too. 

All this, and you had never seen him before in your life. And yet somehow, it felt completely normal. As if you had known him forever, and you were just now remembering. 

After a long while he opens his arm to you, beckoning you to join him. You follow without a second thought, coming to his left side and allowing him to drape his arm over you and pull you close as you both watch the sunset. His cloak drapes over your shoulders as he holds you, warmth falling comfortably over you with it. He smells deeply of leather, of musk and of burnt wood, and you breathe him in deeply. He gazes at the sea as you rest your head on his chest, in ecstasy purely from the simple act of human contact. It has been years since you’ve experienced the simple pleasures of being close to someone, and you savour every single moment. The tips of his fingers ghost over your left arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. His arm comes up and he idly brushes his fingers through the soft locks of your hair as you listen to the steady thump of his heartbeat. 

Being held by him felt like home. 

As you both watch the cerulean waves crashing against the shore below, he presses a gentle kiss to the crown of your head and your eyes flutter shut. 

Credz:

Lightsaber graphic credit: @saradika

[karlachismylife]

Masochistic Kid With a Split Lip

CW: gn!sergeant!reader, descriptions of injuries and violence, brief descriptions of hospitals and medication, hurt/comfort.

(Title from Ren's song "Suic*de" , although I'm not sure the asterisk is by author's design. There is nothing about this theme in the fic itself!! Just a really good song with a fitting lyric.)

Also I wrote the fic first, then saw this art and it's kinda fitting. Beware, depiction of injuriess!! Go support the artist, it's beautiful work.

Usually you didn't have a single complaint about staying on a sniper position, providing cover and watching the main action unfold through a well-tuned scope or a pair of binoculars. Keeping your head clear, hands steady and ready to shoot whenever an order came in or the situation demanded.

However, this meant a lot of things escaped your attention, only coming through the comms as a radio play - and as any radio play, it relied heavily on your own imagination painting the picture, often much more saturated and vivid than reality turned out to be whenever you were re-told the events by your fellow teammates.

Close combat and buildings infiltration stayed outside your sight. And you were content with not witnessing someone's heroics firsthand - up until today.

Today you cursed the order that held you in your place.

Now, looking at Soap's face, beaten to a pulp, blood literally gushing down like a full-water river from his split eyebrow and nose that got almost evened out into a flat surface - that must've been that horrifying wet crack you heard before his microphone got torn off and trampled - you could put every hit, groan and thud to a visual aftermath. Limping and nursing a hand with a wrist that should have never been able to take that angle, he hung off Ghost's shoulder like a flabby, ratted scrap of cloth, but even as his inhumanely bloodshot eye struggled to focus or simply stay open, he still looked at you and tried to grin, teeth painted red behind painfully stretching split lips.

You held his one good hand that didn't get shattered into pieces after being repeatedly stomped on all the way back to the base.

"Get some sleep. You look exhausted," told you your Captain, his big supportive hand squeezing your stiff shoulder. You tried to voice a protest, sitting upright in the uncomfortable chair across from the infirmary bed, where Soap was already out like a light on the generous painkillers cocktail, but Price shoot you a warning, stern glare and furrowed his brows. "That's an order, Sergeant. Soap's gonna sleep for hours straight, and he'll need ya fresh and awake by the time he comes back, not a barely coherent sleep-deprived mess. Take a shower. Grab a bite to eat. Drink a cuppa. Have some sleep."

"Go. I'll stay in case he wakes early, I'll shoot you a message." You nearly snapped your neck as you turned to the source of the gruff voice - how long had Ghost been standing there, arms crossed, hunched back supporting the bleak medical green wall, eyes with some black still clinging around even after a shower glued to what could barely be recognized as Johnny's face.

Leaving this little room reeking of hospital seemed terrifying, but arguing with both your superior officers was a losing game - especially when they were right.

You still could barely sleep, waking up twice to the phantom feeling of blood from a broken nose filling your sinuses and throat, thick, viscous irony mass preventing you from breathing. Your sheets sticked to the wet patch of cold sweat between your shoulderblades, heart racing as you tried to push away the invasive thought of Johnny silently choking on his own blood in a closed off medical wing.

Morning found you with a warm thermos of sweet black tea - liquid energy - clutched in hands hanging between your knees on the same chair you were banished from mere hours ago. Ghost left an hour later after you sat down and showed no intention to move, probably satisfied with the bare minimum of rest you took and unwilling to argue with you when your eyes had that crazed glint of desperation deep inside pulsing pupils.

The first sound Soap produced sent a shockwave down your spine, jolting your whole body and immediately forcing you close to his bedside with the power of a gravity field of the sun that Johnny was.

"Well, good morning to you too," you smiled at him weakly, gripping the healthy hand he outstretched towards you and bringing it to your lips. "You're still handsome, you know?"

"LT said Ah looked lik' shite yesterday, " his own smile was timid, small, constricted by the pain of fresh wounds - his pouty lips were a swollen mess with dried blood stuck in the deep cut in the middle. "Dinnae ken whom tae believe oot of ye two."

Even the softest chuckle, successfully elicited from you, made Johnny's eyes sparkle brighter - beaten or not, he still charged off other people's energy, and now you were grateful to your Captain and Lieutenant for the fact that you weren't an exhusted knot of naked wires ready to shortcircuit and burst into tears due to plain emotional exhaustion.

"So you'll take Simon's word over mine, huh?" An unsaid I'm glad you're alive and laughing fell onto the stale sheet, barely avoiding Johnny's fucked up hand, put together like a puzzle in the course of several hours yesterday. "I want to kiss you, you know."

"I wanntae kiss ye too, bonnie," he rasped, licking his dry, bruised lips and glancing at yours. "Doc didnae say we cannae, ye ken? Gonnae kiss me a'right and Ah'll be good as new, aye?"

"Are you sure I'm not gonna hurt you, sunshine?" Oh how tempting he was, even lying with a broken nose and stitches in random patches of skin - still victorious. Ye shoulda seen th' other guy, bonnie - he told you in his dazed state yesterday. Ghost chuckled darkly and muttered there wasn't anything left to see under his nose.

"Ah'm sure. C'mere, Ah missed ye." Johnny's good hand gripped you almost desperately, barely a shiver of pain in fingers weakened by huge doses of whatever they pumped into him to keep his shocked body stable. He tugged on your wrist insistently, and you gave in, leaning down carefully and timidly touching his lips with yours.

Of course it wouldn't do, it was Johnny you kissed.

He pressed his mouth into yours greedily, breath stuttering with a poorly muffled grunt - startled, you tried to pull away and check on him, stop causing him pain and soothe the wounds you disturbed, but he already cupped the back of your head, digging his fingers into your scalp harshly, and showed no intent of stopping.

"Mmph, Johnny, you're- hurt... mmh!"

No chance. Wincing and grunting like an old man with a broken back, Soap kept kissing you, giggling into your worried mouth like a little troublemaker.

You decided, you were going to tell Ghost.

[fruity-legos]

Ok chat finally dropping my CORRECT analysis of ma meilleure ennemie cuz I fear no one has been interpreting it correctly idk maybe some of y'all have. But my first language is French and I NEED EVERYONE TO UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF THE SONG 🙏

@mythicalmagical-monkeyman @rainofthetwilight and anyone else who watched arcane ig?

Oh lyrics in green, red lyrics are the translation for you nonspeaking french fools /jjj

Ok so chat. THIS IS NOT ONLY A LOVE SONG BUT IT ALSO REFLECTS ON THE OTHER TIMELINES AND RAHFHSJJSJSDND LET ME EXPLAIN

first of all the title means my best enemy but I'll come back to it later

Ok so the song starts by "je t'aime, je te hais" repeating over and over and there's not much to say here except that it reflects on the whole love aspect of the song

Ok after

'T'es la meilleure chose qui m'est arrivée

Mais aussi la pire chose qui m'est arrivée

Ce jour où je t'ai rencontrée, j'aurais peut-être préféré

Que ce jour soit jamais arrivé (arrivé)'

which means :

'You're the best thing that happened to me

But also the worst thing that happened to me

This day where I met you, I maybe would have preferred

That this day never happened (happened)'

So basically this is ekko talking about how POWDER was the best thing to happen to him but JINX was the worst, and when he talks about the day he met powder, he's talking about the fact that if they never met he would have never gave her and vi the job and they would have never been in danger

'La pire des bénédictions

La plus belle des malédictions'

Which means :

'The worst benediction

The prettiest curse'

Again ekko talking how it's a benediction to know her but the worst cus yk she's a jinx and stuff, and the prettiest curse stuff honestly it's just bro admitting his ass is inlove with her💀

'De toi, j'devrais m'éloigner

Mais comme dit le dicton

"Plutôt qu'être seul, mieux vaut être mal accompagné"'

Which means:

'Of you I should go away

But like the saying goes

"rather than being alone, it's worth being poorly accompanied"'

Again this is ekko but talking to POWDER in the happy dimension cuz he knows he should go away and that this isn't right and he needs to actually help people but at the same time like what if he could just stay there? Instead of being alone in his right dimension might as well stay with powder in the happy dimension right. And also it's a funny twist on the saying since it's usually the contrary

'Tu sais c'qu'on dit

"Soit près d'tes amis les plus chers"

Mais aussi

"Encore plus près d'tes adversaires"'

Which means:

'You know what we say

"Be close to the friends you care for the most"

But also

"Even closer to your opponents"'

Ok so i don't think I have to explain too much here we've all heard that phrase a million time but the thing is. Powder is the closest friend, and jinx is the opponent/enemy. Think about it for two secs

'Mais ma meilleure ennemie, c'est toi

Fuis-moi, le pire, c'est toi et moi

Mais si tu cherches encore ma voix

Oublie-moi, le pire, c'est toi et moi'

Which means:

'But my best enemy, it's you

Run from me, the worst is me and you

But if you still search my voice

Forget me, the worst is me and you'

GUYS. THE FIRST TWO PHRASES ARE LITERALLY JINX TALKING TO EKKO ABOUT HOW HE NEEDS TO STAY AWAY FROM HER CUZ SHE'S A JINX

AND THE LAST TWO IS THE POWDER INSIDE HER SAYING TO GIVE UP ON LOOKING FOR HER CUZ SHE'S GONE. POWDER IS GONE. I'm losing it

'Pourquoi ton prénom me blesse

Quand il se cache juste là dans l'espace?'

Which means:

'Why does your name hurt me?

When it hides right there in the space?'

Ok so this means two things. The first is ekko hearing the name powder in the happy dimension cuz it's been so long since he heard that name without her crashing out so in some ways it hurts him cuz like guys this can't be real😃 and then going back to the normal timeline and hearing jinx hurts him cuz he knows he can't fix her

And the second is jinx talking to her younger self like guys read the lyrics COME ON I CAN'T EXPLAIN EVERYTHING TO Y'ALL

'C'est quelle émotion?

D'la haine ou de la douleur

Quand j'entends ton prénom'

Which means:

'What's this emotion?

Hate or sweetness

When I hear your name?'

Again this is LITERALLY JINX TALKING TO HER YOUNGER SELF USE UR BRAINCELLS GUYS

'Je t'avais dit "ne regarde pas en arrière"

Le passé qui te suit, te fait la guerre'

Which means:

'I told you "don't look behind you"

The past following you does you war'

It can be tricky but it can mean multiple things

-Silco turning powder into jinx

-Jinx in the last ep

-Happy timeline jinx forgiving herself and ekko for vi's death

-ekko forgiving himself for not being able to fix jinx

IT'S ALL ABOUT MOVING ON AND FORGIVING ONESELF GUYS

'Mais ma meilleure ennemie, c'est toi

Fuis-moi, le pire, c'est toi et moi

Mais ma meilleure ennemie, c'est toi

Fuis-moi, le pire, c'est toi et moi'

Which means:

'But my best enemy, it's you

Run from me, the worst is me and you

But my best enemy, it's you

Run from me, the worst is me and you'

Same as what I said earlier about those two phrases, but ekko is also talking TO happy timeline powder

And then it repeats the same thing from the start at the end and a funny thing is that if you look correctly they repeat the phrase 4 times in the beggining just like how ekko can rewing- *gets shot 52 times*

Anyways hope y'all liked this analysis if ur here thx for reading all of this😭 my Quebecois ass is here to save y'all cuz as far as I've known none of you other arcane fans I know speak French and IT'S MY FIRST LANGUAGE SO I'M IN THE RIGHT PLACE TO MAKE MY ANALYSIS ABOUT THE SONG CUZ I ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

[possum-quesadilla]

Heyyy. I couldn’t wait any longer!!! The next chapter of Time’s Arrow, “Flowers, I remember fields of flowers”, is here. We’re back to a Beetlejuice POV!! Yay!! (Kinda..)

Please read the warnings carefully before proceeding.

Here are the extras! Not too many of them, surprisingly.

- The lyrics for this chapter’s title are from “Flowers” from Hadestown. Now we’re seeing our Eurydice’s perspective! Very literal. At one point, all Beetlejuice can remember is flowers.

- Songs for this chapter: “Flowers” from Hadestown, “Goodbye” by Bo Burnham, “The Moon Will Sing” by The Crane Wives, “Francis Forever” by Mitski, “Nymphs Finding the Head of Orpheus” by Nicole Dollanganger, “Our Word” from 36 Questions (again), “Doubt Comes In” from Hadestown.

- “Turns out seven thousand years of whatever the hell he found himself in now was a lot worse.” - Haha, surprise Ezri and Raine! This is what number you/Barbara picked for :)

- “He was not a participant, like in the last time loop he was stuck in. He was an invisible observer, unable to be heard or seen or to touch anything. But he felt it all.” - The worst of all worlds! Time loop, trauma, invisible. All of the things Beej hates. Also, the inability to be seen is inspired by a scene in “The Haunting of Hill House” where Nell is ‘missing’, but she was right there. They just couldn’t see her.

- “Had he really looked that bad during the fight? No wonder they were scared of him now.” - Yeah he looked pretty insane, as mentioned in Lydia’s POV in chapter 10.

- “What did they think of him, now that he was gone? What were they saying?” - This line, along with a few later, are inspired by the songs “Who Was She” and “Who Is She (Reprise)” from “Centaurworld”.

- “(The words ‘I love you’ don’t leave his lips. He didn't know them yet.)” - Yeah he didn't really hear the words “I love you” for a long, long time.

- “The demon-… They-…. Beetlejuice knew there was more, but try as they might, they couldn’t remember it.” - This was Beetlejuice starting to forget his own name/identity.

- “Panic coursed through the demon as they wheezed out unsteady breaths.” - Him unable to breathe and wheezing the whole time is meant to emulate the ending of “I Saw The TV Glow”.

- “They… remembered… flowers. Purple, yellow, green, red, orange, and blue.” - This, of course, calls back to the first chapter of Time’s Arrow, as well as the title lyrics for this chapter. Also the new blue is for Ash :)

- “Oh well. You made this bed. Now lay in it.” - This is meant to be a reference to the ending of the title song for this chapter.

Tag list: @raineisinkless @c0zmo-writes @musical-fiend @katslitterbox

(Want to be tagged in updates to LoopJuice / CorpseJuice? Let me know!)

[ai-the-broccoli]

lawlight, told through taylor swift songs: a non-exhaustive list

no really, why do so many taylor swift songs fit Death Note (and sometimes especially Light and lawlight) so perfectly?

many others have already made pretty good posts on this topic before, but the parallels are truly kinda crazy, so here's my take on it. the rankings within each tier are not super fixed or meaningful, like honestly everything within each tier is pretty much the same degree of fitting to me.

(yes, I double-checked basically her entire discography for this. no, I still don't think this is a fully comprehensive list.)

Tier S - every single line is a fit

1. my tears ricochet (<- category C: "I Knew You'd Miss Me Once The Thrill Expired")

post L's death lawlight, from L's perspective: the song. nearly every line fits what the hell man. one of my favourites here

-> Full Lyrics

2. hoax (<- category C: "I Knew You'd Miss Me Once The Thrill Expired")

@kiyomitakada pointed this out and... yeah, every single line does fit! it's very lawlight from Light's perspective.

-> Full Lyrics

Tier A - the whole song fits well

3. Blank Space (<- category A: "Let the Games Begin")

we probably all know this one lol. while the idea that it was actually written as inspired by DN is a myth, it very much does fit.

-> Full Lyrics

and GOD did the MV imagery not help. like, I mean...

the MV uses a colour scheme of red/blue/black/white/green-ish, I think, which doesn't NOT look like the first OP of Death Note anime to say the least.

apple imagery. yeah. the above is literally something Light does in said OP. both song videos have close-up shot of biting a very red apple.

the character Taylor Swift plays in this video (who is supposed to be a satirical caricature based on media perception of her as a crazy obsessive jealous 'serial dater' women iirc) is depicted doing a lot of voodoo to torture her lover.

in one scene she seems to be in a great and dramatic frenzy with mixed emotions (sadness, desperation, manic, anger, hate, etc.) over the boyfriend character's... unconscious body? I'm not super sure if it's supposed to be unconscious. but it's like this:

and then after a while of this, we see a shot of her sneakily winking at the camera. but anyway so yeah this entire part weirdly actually reminded me of L's death scene for some reason lol

at the end of the MV there's a short B-T-S trivia clip. there's a freaking black notebook there:

it's titled "My True Loves" and the content has nothing to do with lawlight, because it just contains pictures of her cats... is what I'd say, but actually, if you stretch it a bit, there's a comparison to be made about the fact that J-Drama Light Yagami's actor is a cat lover who actually has a cat named L

anyway this isn't exactly a T-pose but it's not too far from one either

I think I've made my point.

4. Getaway Car (<- category B: ''Now This is An Open/Shut Case")

this is very the end of the Yotsuba arc to me, specifically from while they are catching Higuchi to after they catch him and Light regains his memories. man...

-> Full Lyrics

Tier B - largely/mostly fitting

category A: "Let the Games Begin"

the mind games begin.

1. Ready For It

Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him Wondered how many girls he had loved and left haunted But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom Holdin' him for ransom, some Some boys are tryin' too hard, he don't try at all though Younger than my exes, but he act like such a man, so I see nothing better, I keep him forever Like a vendetta-ta

and

Knew I was a robber first time that he saw me Stealing hearts and running off and never sayin' sorry But if I'm a thief, then he can join the heist, and We'll move to an island, and And he can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor Every love I've known in comparison is a failure I forget their names now, I'm so very tame now Never be the same now, now

+ the repetition of "Let the games begin". pretty self-explanatory

2. LWYMMD

I've got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined I check it once, then I check it twice, oh!

...and more. also you know how she T-poses at the end of the bridge in the MV, as she stands over many many other past version of herself?

very lightcore pose. (and this isn't even to mention how she kicks off other, "weaker" versions of herself off the giant T in the same scene, which is... arguably also a symbolic parallel to when Light screams in the helicopter as he regains his memory, if you see it that way.)

3. cowboy like me

And the tennis court was covered up With some tent-like thing And you asked me to dance But I said, "Dancin' is a dangerous game."

Oh, I thought This is gonna be one of those things Now I know I'm never gonna love again

I've got some tricks up my sleeve Takes one to know one You're a cowboy like me

this one even has the freaking tennis mention of all things it could've included

4. Mastermind

So I told you none of it was accidental And the first night that you saw me, nothing was gonna stop me I laid the groundwork and then saw a wide smirk On your face, you knew the entire time You knew that I'm a mastermind And now you're mine Yeah, all you did was smile 'Cause I'm a mastermind

honestly though, this one is more like the perfect Kaguya-sama Love is War Kaguya/Miyuki song. every single line fits them perfectly. but since lawlight also do mind games and all, the song also can be seen through a lawlight lens, although I maintain that it is still the perfect kaguprez song instead of a fully lawlight one.

5. Suburban Legends

I had the fantasy that maybe our mismatched star signs Would surprise the whole school When I ended up back at our class reunion Walking in with you You'd be more than a chapter in my old diaries With the pages ripped out I am standing in a 1950s gymnasium And I can still see you now

I didn't come here to make friends We were born to be suburban legends When you hold me, it holds me together And you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever

I know that you still remember We were born to be national treasures When you told me we'd get back together And you kissed me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever

idk the vibes here kind of make me think of the entrance ceremony scene lol

category B: ''Now This is An Open/Shut Case"

the Kira investigation.

1. I Can See You

I can see you in your suit and your necktie Passed me a note saying, "Meet me tonight" Then we kissed and you know I won't ever tell, yeah And I could see you being my addiction You can see me as a secret mission Hide away and I will start behaving myself

the MV is important context here again, because actually, the official video for this love song depicts one person watching/"seeing" another person through - guess what - surveillance cameras. in reference to the title which is also a line repeated in the chorus. so that explains it I think. also it's implied to be about a workplace relationship

2. I Think He Knows

He got that boyish look that I like in a man I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans It's like I'm 17, nobody understands No one understands

[...]

He got that boyish look that I like in a man I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans He's so obsessed with me and, boy, I understand Boy, I understand

Light's pov. the title line "I think he knows" keeps getting repeated in the song which if you view it through a lawlight lens that might be about Kira lol

3. willow

Now this is an open/shut case I guess I should've known from the look on your face Every bait-and-switch was a work of art

The more that you say, the less I know Wherever you stray, I follow I'm begging for you to take my hand Wreck my plans, that's my man You know that my train could take you home Anywhere else is hollow I'm begging for you to take my hand Wreck my plans, that's my man

L pov-ish.

4. The Tortured Poets Department

You're in self-sabotage mode, throwing spikes down on the road But I've seen this episode and still loved the show Who else decodes you?

And who's gonna hold you like me? And who's gonna know you, if not me?

and also:

Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be 'Cause we're crazy So tell me Who else is gonna know me?

...as well as more lines in the song that expresses the same sentiments, like: Who's gonna hold you? Gonna know you? Gonna troll you?

in any case, "who else decodes you?" is definitely a lawlight thesis. imo. in fact I may have even actually started an essay on it in fic format with that thesis. or not? who knows! maybe one day you'll see...

anyway, this song is post-Yotsuba arc-ish to me, sort of.

category C: "I Knew You'd Miss Me Once The Thrill Expired"

L's death and Light's grieving, eventually.

5. Haunted

from Light's pov, especially in anime canon probably.

12. My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys

My boy only breaks his favorite toys, toys, oh I'm queen of sand castles he destroys, oh, oh 'Cause it fit too right Puzzle pieces in the dead of night I should've known it was a matter of time Oh, oh, my boy only breaks his favorite toys, oh, oh-oh-oh

[...]

My boy only breaks his favorite toys, toys, oh I'm queen of sand castles he destroys, oh, oh 'Cause I knew too much There was danger in the heat of my touch He saw forever so he smashed it up Oh, oh, my boy only breaks his favorite toys, oh, oh-oh-oh

which is quite fitting. moreover, there's this...

He was my best friend Down at the sandlot I felt more when we played pretend Than with all the Kens

...as well as the the original version below:

He was my best friend and that was the worst part I felt more then, in brief moments Than with all the Kens

L's pov. the "Kens" mention here is kinda like Light apparently having like 6 girlfriends in college and not caring about any of them despite being significantly bad at getting over L etc etc I think

8. Hits Different

I actually didn't think of this song in association with lawlight at all before I saw @selfdigestion bringing up the connection, and.... YEAH this is pretty lawlight-coded as well

I trace the evidence, make it make some sense Why the wound is still bleedin' You were the one that I loved Don't need another metaphor, it's simple enough A wrinkle in time like the crease by your eyes This is why they shouldn't kill off the main guy Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief In the good in the world, you once believed in me And I felt you and I held you for a while Bet I could still melt your world Argumentative, antithetical dream girl

and also:

I used to switch out these Kens, I'd just ghost Rip the band-aid off and skip town like an asshole outlaw Freedom felt like summer then on the coast Now the sun burns my heart and the sand hurts my feelings

which is what the song is overall about. (there sure are a lot of Light pov songs in this category man)

and on the topic of "Kens", as it is with the previous time song, in Light's case it makes me again think of all his college girlfriends that he doesn't care about. I'm not going to comment too much on the gender-reverse implications this has for the narrator "I" in the song, but I would think that the original lyrics "bet I could still melt your world / argumentative, antithetical dream girl" with echoing repetitions on the phrase "dream girl" should've already done it for me. anyway. moving on.

10. Would've, Could've, Should've

If you never touched me I would've Gone along with the righteous If I never blushed then they could've Never whispered about this And if you never saved me from boredom I could've gone on as I was

[...]

God rest my soul I miss who I used to be The tomb won't close Stained glass windows in my mind I regret you all the time I can't let this go I fight with you in my sleep The wound won't close I keep on waiting for a sign I regret you all the time

I don't know how to explain this one, but it's... something. I think it only makes more sense as a lawlight song if you want to place emphasis on the age/maturity difference angle, although even without that it would still partly fit.

17. Guilty as Sin?

My boredom's bone-deep This cage was once just fine Am I allowed to cry?

I dream of cracking locks Throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks Crashing into him tonight, he's a paradox I'm seeing visions, am I bad? Or mad? Or wise?

This, plus the fact that it uses similar imagery (dying in a hedge maze, crashing over graves, etc.) as Saltburn (2023), which... has that infamous grave scene that reminded every Death Note fan watching it of Light Yagami on L's grave.

13. cardigan

A friend to all is a friend to none Chase two girls, lose the one When you are young, they assume you know nothing

[...]

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs The smell of smoke would hang around this long 'Cause I knew everything when I was young I knew I'd curse you for the longest time Chasing shadows in the grocery line I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired And you'd be standing in my front porch light And I knew you'd come back to me You'd come back to me And you'd come back to me And you'd come back

yet another post-L's death lawlight song, this time with L+Light switching povs. with the final line I think of the anime scene when Light sees a vision/ghost/whatever it is of L on the stairs:

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed You put me on and said I was your favorite

Tier D - honourable mentions

The Prophecy

I got cursed like Eve got bitten Oh, was it punishment?

lightcoreTM

False God

self-explanatory title

You Are In Love

You kiss on sidewalks, you fight then you talk One night, he wakes, strange look on his face Pauses, then says, "You're my best friend" And you knew what it was, he is in love

Mr. Perfectly Fine

So dignified in your well-pressed suit So strategized, all the eyes on you Sashay away to your seat It's the best seat, in the best room Oh, he's so smug, Mr. "Always wins" So far above me in every sense So far above feeling anything

lightcore #2

You're Losing Me

doesn't fit that well lyric-wise, but it sure has got a heartbeat sound effect (sampled with her own I believe) in it referencing the stopping of a heart that sounds a lot like the one used to signal cardiac arrest in Death Note anime.

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

Were you sent by someone Who wanted me dead? Did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed? Were you writing a book? Were you a sleeper cell spy? In fifty years will all this be declassified? And you'll confess why you did it And I'll say, "Good riddance" 'Cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden I would've died for your sins Instead I just died inside And you deserve prison, but you won't get time You'll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars You crashed my party and your rental car You said normal girls were "boring" But you were gone by the morning You kicked out the stage lights, but you're still performing And in plain sight you hid But you are what you did And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive The smallest man who ever lived

lightcore #3

Anti-Hero

I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror

lightcore #4

Clara Bow

"The crown is stained, but you're the real queen Flesh and blood amongst war machines You're the new God we're worshipping Promise to be dazzling"

there is a joke I can make here about how "dazzling" is "kira-kira" in Japanese

lightcore #5

(man that's a lot of lightcore songs)

Other songs

...that grieve the loss of a lover,

or mentions a lover being a friend/not a friend;

songs with ghost/death/grave/tomb/cemetery imagery,

songs where the self or the lover is compared to God or a god,

songs that mention a difference in age or has the lover looking down on the narrator's maturity (e.g. illicit affairs, All Too Well),

songs where love is characterized as a game of cat and mouse;

and so on.

taylor swift seems to write about those motifs a lot, so there really are a lot of other examples to pull.

and that concludes my list, I think. there may actually be even more comparisons if you look into her album liner notes and such, but this is what I've got for now

[jebewonmorelike]

Devil by the Whiteboard

wc: 4.2k (so i was way off lmao) pronouns: none used; n/a warnings: MEAN!hanbin he is not nice so be forewarned but the ending suggests he can possibly be fixed maybe but no promises; being alone with a mean person in a hallway; light swears; angst but only towards the end; i wrote that they go to an academy but it could be a university it doesn't change the story summary: booksmart!reader is ready to finally win the scholastic decathlon, but a series of coincidental unfortunate events that couldn't possibly have anything to do with studentbodypresident!hanbin threaten to ruin their chances once more. ~masterlist~ ♡ ~kofi (no pressure at all)~ guys i did it, i finished my masterpiece. i hope you like it. academic play on the title of the txt song, i know-- clever. the scholastic decathlon is inspired by the one in high school musical. also pls don't make fun of me for not knowing how science or chemistry works, i was literally advance in science but my chem teacher in high school was on academic probation for being such a bad teacher and we all nearly failed our regional exams so. anyway pls excuse this or lightly roast me in the tags or comments. i hope you enjoy mean!shanbin... this one might need a part 2... or a prequel. or both. I'M SO EXCITED I FINISHED THIS OMFG I HOPE YOU LOVE IT!

(part two— “i didn’t think you had it in you”)

It's 7 P.M. on a Friday and there's nowhere in the world you'd rather be than at the Regional Scholastic Decathlon Finals. You're about to partake in your favorite extracurricular activity: more academics. There's only one thing you wish you could change...

"I'm so honored to be competing as a team leader in the Regional Scholastic Decathlon Finals," Hanbin says into the handheld microphone. "And I'm even more honored to be competing against who I believe to be the most worthy opponents."

You fight the urge to gag at the Student Body President standing next to you on the makeshift stage.

"And you know each other well, I've been told," the announcer adds with a laugh. "You and (Y/N) are something of academic rivals, yes?"

Hanbin laughs, smile lines on his cheeks only adding to his innocent, clean-cut image. "In the most respectful way. Wouldn't you agree, (Y/N)?"

There are, in truth, very few things you'd agree less with. Coming from a private academy for gifted students, there were several different Scholastic Decathlon teams at your school. The Green Team, the Red Team and the Yellow Team had all already been eliminated this semester, which left the Blue Team (led by Hanbin) and the Pink Team (led by you).

There had also been a new Purple Team formed at the beginning of this year, but they were disbanded when the headmaster found out the "experiments" they were conducting in the science labs were a bit unorthodox.

You honestly weren't sure how much of a "worthy opponent" the Pink Team was at this rate. The Blue Team had won Regionals for three semesters straight and it didn't seem like their streak would end any time soon...

Not with Sung Hanbin on their side.

You glance at the walking, talking cinnamon roll standing next to you and wish fervently that all his teeth would fall out. "Right. Respectful," you chime quietly into your own microphone.

"And (Y/N)! It seems this is always where the Pink Team meets its demise under your leadership," the announcer notes, a bit too happily if you're being honest. "What makes you think you can beat Hanbin this time?"

The audience of family, friends, and teachers laughs awkwardly at the dig of a question. You swallow nervously, taking a deep breath to steady yourself before you answer.

You and Hanbin were total opposites, both competing for the tile of top student since your first year at the academy. He was friendly, outgoing-- a networker, even. When the election for Student Body President came around each year, there weren't any votes cast for anyone except Sung Hanbin (and you knew that for a fact since you were the one counting them). You were more of a behind-the-scenes overachiever. Acing every class, developing plans and putting them into action, and keeping your head down in the hallways to avoid any unwanted social interaction.

Though President Hanbin had been asked to recite a speech for Teacher's Appreciation Week, it was Secretary (Y/N) who had stayed up until the wee hours of the morning writing it.

"I don't think I can beat Hanbin," you say finally. "But I do think the Pink Team can beat the Blue Team. I think that's what you meant to ask, right?"

There's a moment of uncomfortable silence before Hanbin grins, extending his hand for you to shake. "I couldn't agree more. This event is about our teams, not us. Every team member has worked hard to prove their abilities tonight."

You watch as the audience absolutely melts at the handsome boy's charming smile and his words of camaraderie that were merely a more attractive repackaging of your previous reply. You pull your hand back from his as quickly as possible.

The announcer smiles in admiration at the boy to his right. “You are entirely correct, Hanbin. My mistake. And what a wonderful sentiment for you to share with us.”

It barely even phases you anymore: the hold Hanbin could have on people. Maybe you’d have been captivated too, if you weren’t the one person who--.

“(Y/N)?” The announcer prompts, his tone indicating that this isn’t the first time he called your name. “Any words for your team?”

“Oh,” you mumble, mentally shaking off the embarrassment of daydreaming during a regional competition. "Let's do our best! No matter the outcome, though we will strive for a good one, I'm incredibly proud of the work my amazing team has done so far this year and you all should be as well. Fighting!"

"That's just swell," the announcer replies rather unenthusiastically. "Hanbin?"

Hanbin nods, smiling graciously at the announcer and the crowd. "We've put in so much time and effort this semester and I truly believe our labor of love has blossomed into a winning fruit. And, even on the chance that we don't take this win, I will still be so proud of that fruit that is my amazing team. Fighting!"

The audience applauds and the scream sitting in your throat is now desperately trying to claw its way out. Instead, you just smile.

"Hanbin has such a way with words, doesn't he?" The announcer muses to you.

"He does," you agree politely, muttering under your breath, "If that 'way' is stealing them."

"Then let's get this Regional Final started!" The announcer's words are met with applause as you rejoin your team behind your table.

"We've got this," your teammate Maria encourages, patting you on the back gently. "It's our turn to win!"

You nod, smiling at your team and giving them two thumbs up. "Let's win this! Fighting!"

The first subject of the Super Relay is mathematics, an event where each team's members must rotate in a line to solve a new equation while racing against both their opponent and the clock. As the team leader, you are last in line as you will have the least amount of time left on the clock to solve your equation.

Unfortunately, Sung Hanbin is also at the end of the Blue Team's line. While you're better at economics, history, literature, and geography, Hanbin has a slight leg up on you in the math and science departments. But you had been studying overtime and, even if you didn't manage to beat his time in this round, you were confident you could follow closely enough behind that your team would not be hurting for points.

As soon as both teams are set in their positions, the announcer raises one arm. "On your marks, get set..."

"Go!" He signals, lowering his arm as Maria rushes to the shared whiteboard.

Her equation flashes on the screen and you exhale with relief. Maria was the weakest at maths on your team, so she always went first in relays so the other four team members could make up the time. This equation is fairly straightforward and in her wheelhouse, so you're able to relax for awhile.

Each team member finishes their equation, placing their markers on the whiteboard shelf and joining the end of the line until it's finally your turn to solve. David throws his marker down too harshly and it falls to the ground, rolling to the other team's side.

Hanbin is now racing up to the whiteboard for his team, but on his way he bends down and reaches under the chair that your team's marker has rolled under. After a moment, he resurfaces; marker in hand as he smiles at you sweetly, holding it out to you as you run up to the whiteboard.

"I think you might need this," he jokes politely. You give him a nod and tear off the cap as you quickly memorize your equation, smiling to yourself as you realize you've practiced this exact problem in a workbook just last week.

"And look at this sportsmanship from Sung Hanbin!" The announcer commends. "He's the Student Body President for a reason, folks."

You put your marker to the board, attempting to copy your equation as you ignore the adoring audience's endless mumbling about Hanbin. As you write, however, you suddenly realize that the marker in your hand isn't producing any ink.

Panic flows through you as you scribble it desperately against the whiteboard trying to get the ink flowing again, but your efforts are fruitless. You turn to the announcer in a frenzy.

"Please, my marker isn't working!" You exclaim, looking to the judges' table for assistance.

"It worked fine for the previous team member," the announcer contests, watching as you show him the lack of ink. "But, yes, it seems to be out of ink."

He walks to the judges table as your heart sits in your stomach, terrified that some fluke could completely ruin your team's chances of finally beating the Blue Team. You glance over at Hanbin, who, much to your surprise, is looking back at you concernedly.

A judge brings you another approved marker and you resume solving your equation frantically, despite the judge relaying that you would have ten seconds added to your permitted time due to the mishap.

After about 45 seconds, you check Hanbin's progress and your spirit is renewed when you see how quickly you've caught up to him. You're now only two lines behind him in the equation and you can tell Hanbin is caught off guard by your speed.

After another thirty seconds, Hanbin steps back from the whiteboard and nods as he double checks his math. He circles his answer and lays his marker down on the shelf, running to the stop clock and hitting his team's timer.

The audience cheers at the Blue Team leader's probable victory, but you don't let it throw you. Another nine seconds and your answer is circled on the board as you run to the buzzer and stop the clock. Your team surrounds you excitedly, praising you for your focus during the stressful situation and your noticeably quick solving of the equation.

After the judges finalize the results of the mathematics portion of the Super Relay, they hand the announcer a script card. "The results are in! The winner of the mathematics Super Relay is... The Pink Team!"

Your team starts to cheer, jumping up and down ecstatically around you as you remain absolutely shocked at the unexpected win.

You watch as the announcer's eyebrows furrow confusedly, rereading the script card to check if the result is correct.. "Huh. Mathematics is usually where the Pink Team has the most trouble, but with the additional ten seconds added to their time clock... The Pink Team wins by just 0.45 seconds."

You can't help but notice that the announcer looks concerned by the results, but before you can analyze him further you're pulled into your team's celebration. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Hanbin chewing his lip nervously at the Blue Team's defeat.

~

You're halfway through the Science portion of the Super Relay when your beaker begins to boil. You watch as it bubbles furiously when it's merely supposed to be simmering on the hotplate.

You hover your hand over the hotplate, panic turning into confusion when you feel a low amount of heat that couldn't possibly be boiling the solution in this beaker. Unfortunately the alternative to a hotplate turned up too high was much worse...

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit," you whisper, taking the beaker off of your hotplate with your gloved hands. As expected, the beaker continues to bubble over even after being removed from heat and you stare at the mixture in horror.

Where had you messed up?

You look around at the different tubes on your table, reading the labels of each vial carefully to see if you'd poured in the wrong liquid by mistake. You check each empty tube, verifying that they were in fact the liquids you had thought they were.

But there's one label that catches your eye in particular. The side of it is sticking up slightly and, cautiously, you peel it off to reveal another label underneath.

Glycerin.

Thankfully it wouldn't kill you, but it was a huge nuisance. You'd have to remake the solution and, as you glance at the time clock, you realize your prospects of finishing are hopeless.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

Hanbin hits his team's buzzer in the knick of time, the crowd erupting into applause for the school's golden boy. You chew your cheek, willing yourself not to cry as your team members begin to comfort you. Just as you compose yourself, you hear shouts coming from the other side of the room.

"(Y/N) couldn't even finish the experiment!" One of the younger Blue Team members taunts, smirking at you. "Pink Team is going down!"

"Maybe they should consider appointing a new leader," another Blue Team member jeers. "(Y/N) is clearly--."

"That's not very kind, Ilsung," Hanbin interrupts, placing a hand on the shoulder of both of the younger team members sternly. "Everyone here is trying their best and, unfortunately, mistakes are very easy to make under pressure."

"I didn't make a mistake. The--," you start to correct, but Hanbin has already stepped up onto his metaphorical soapbox once more.

"Whether we are winners in the competition or not, we are the losing team if we don't treat our opponents with the respect they deserve," Hanbin concludes, turning back to face the audience.

"Once again, Sung Hanbin proves his humility and kindness," the announcer coos as Hanbin shakes his head to politely deflect the compliment with a smile. "Exactly what we'd expect from the Fall Regional Scholastic Decathlon champion."

"What!?" You exclaim. "He didn't even win yet!"

"Anyway," the announcer continues as the judges hand him the results, "the winner of the science portion of the Super Relay is... The Blue Team! Obviously!"

You laugh hopelessly. "Obviously, he said."

"It's alright," David reassures. "Double the points in the final Humanities portion. The Blue Team has nothing on us!"

You nod, smiling reluctantly. "You're right. We can still win this! I believe in all of you. Let's do this!"

~

Pink Team is ahead 44 to 36 when you finally step up to the podium to answer your set of twenty humanities questions. Hanbin steps up to his podium, picking up his buzzer and breathing deeply in preparation for the upcoming questions in his weakest area.

You pick up your buzzer, placing your thumb on the trigger comfortably so that it doesn't cramp when you press it rapidly.

"Good luck," Hanbin says, smiling at you cutely.

"Yeah," you manage to reply without throwing up. "You too."

You fire off the five economics questions easily, hitting the buzzer a full second before Hanbin each time. You're on a roll and you don't have any intentions of slowing down.

"Now we'll move onto literature," the announcer prompts, rearranging his script cards.

"One second, please," Hanbin calls suddenly, shifting uncomfortably on his feet. "This is embarrassing but I think there's something in my shoe. Can I be allowed to remove it?"

The judges look at each other momentarily before nodding. "Quickly," one agrees.

Hanbin bends down, untying his shoelace and shaking out his shoe. You look out at the audience, who are all both visibly and audibly fawning over how adorable the Blue Team leader is.

"So endearing, that Sung Hanbin," the announcer remarks fondly.

Hanbin finally hops back up to his feet, nodding at the judges and the audience respectfully. "Please forgive me for the delay."

"No worries at all. Let's jump right back into it then," the announcer segways. "Question six: What is the name of the collection of 85 articles written by Alexander Hamilton, John Jay—.”

You smile as you press your buzzer, but confusion sweeps over you when Hanbin’s buzzer sounds first.

“The Federalist Papers,” he answers, but you can hear a bit of uncertainty in his voice.

“Correct,” the announcer says. “Question seven: Name the correct order of the three cantos of The Divine Com—.”

You press your buzzer, Hanbin’s buzzer ringing out again.

“Inferno, Purgatorio, Paradiso,” the Blue Team leader answers correctly again.

You go through five more questions like this— knowing the answer to them all immediately only to somehow be beaten by Hanbin’s buzzer.

“Um, excuse me?” You ask before the start of the history round. “I think… I think there’s something wrong with my buzzer!"

The announcer turns to the judges who allow the complaint with a nod. "Please test your buzzer several times," the judge on the end requests, gesturing for you to proceed.

You press the button on your buzzer and hear it ring. You press it once more and it rings again. The third time you press it, your cheeks heat up with utter embarrassment. You could've sworn it wasn't working just a moment ago...

You smile uncomfortably. "I'm sorry," you apologize quickly, mortified as your bottom lip tucks between your lips shyly.

"It's okay," Hanbin answers, smile lines appearing on his perfect cheeks. "I know this last section is usually not my best, but I promise it's just because I've been studying so hard. I would be thrown off guard too!"

The audience laughs at his humorous compassion, your error only making way for another opportunity to boost Hanbin's morale. You swear you feel yourself shrinking down, down, down to the size of an ant as Hanbin gets every last point in the final round of the Super Relay.

You pressed the buzzer in the middle of every question.

"It's okay, (Y/N)," Maria says, resting her head on your shoulder. "I'm sure all of that stuff with the marker just threw you off. That wasn't your fault."

You shake your head, completely perplexed by how this had happened and now also beginning to questioning your sanity. "I was pressing the buzzer," you assert, fighting off another round of tears welling up in your eyes as the adrenaline of the competition wheres off.

"I pressed the buzzer every time."

~

"We'll get 'em next semester, (Y/N)!" David encourages. "And they'll never see it coming."

You force yourself to smile, not wanting to to show the team your real emotions. Had you really not been pressing the buzzer? Were you actually going crazy?

"Mm," you agree quietly. "Pink Team: Spring Regional Scholastic Decathlon Champions! We'll make it happen!"

Your team all puts their hands into the circle, shouting, "1, 2, 3: Pink Team on Top!" After saying your temporary goodbyes, you walk through the empty hallway behind the gym and hang your lab coat up on the designated rack. As you secure your lab coat on the hook, you hear a mumbling coming from around the corner.

"Here's five hundred," you hear a familiar voice say as you tiptoe quietly to the end of the hall. "I'll get you the other half by Monday."

"Are you kidding me? You said you'd have it in full! Should've known the kid that was paying me to help him cheat in a Scholastic Decathlon would end up screwing me."

You peak your head out slowly around the corner, taking care not to make any loud sounds that might get you caught.

"Guess that's on you then. By Monday."

As the two men start to go their separate ways, you duck back behind the wall and try to control the rampant beating of your heart. You desperately attempt to silence your breathing as you hear one set of footsteps approach, closing your eyes and exhaling with relief when they continue down the hallway and past your hiding spot in the adjacent corridor.

With your hands over your eyes, you rub your face as tension bubbles to the surface. "Oh my god," you squeak out as the interaction you just witnessed sinks in.

Suddenly, something slams down above your head on the locker you're leaning against and rips you from your thought spiral.

"I'm glad you're finally starting to see my appeal," Hanbin says with a smirk, both hands pressed firmly against the locker on either side of your head. "But I think god might be a bit too much, even by my standards."

You swallow nervously, having had the displeasure of being confronted by Hanbin like this numerous times before. You look around to check if by some miracle there's anyone still lingering in the hallway that's witnessing this.

"Just me," Hanbin seemingly reads your mind. "That's not a problem, is it?"

"Y-you--... You..." He tilts his head expectantly, waiting for you to stop tripping over your own tongue. "You cheated?"

"Oh," Hanbin coos mockingly. "Did I?"

You nod, feeling your bottom lip shake. "You paid that announcer to give you all the answers."

"What?" He asks, face scrunching up in confusion. "He didn't give me the--... You think I, the reigning Regional Champion, need someone to give me the answers? Come on, (Y/N), I know you're smarter than that."

You blink back at him silently, watching as his face lights up in amusement.

"Do you actually have that little self-confidence?" He asks, shaking his head at you in amazement. "You really think your marker just happened to stop working right when it was your turn to solve? Or that the glycerin tube was just coincidentally mislabeled?"

Your lips part as Hanbin pieces the truth together for you.

"You and I both know you pressed that buzzer first every single time," he says earnestly, pouting at you sadly. "Are you really that insecure that you'd believe you were going crazy before you'd believe that I'd rigged your buzzer while I was fixing my shoe?"

"You... you..." You attempt to protest, but once again your stammering proves why you're always just Hanbin's ghostwriter.

His eyebrows furrow in concern and it's unnervingly genuine. "Seriously, (Y/N)? Now you're kind of just making me sad."

The patronizing from Hanbin is the last straw. He can steal your words, he can call you names, he can even sabotage your efforts...

But the moment Sung Hanbin begins to pity you is the moment you can no longer just stand there and take it.

"I'm gonna tell everybody," you threaten, but your voice comes out far too soft and shaky for him to take it seriously.

"I'm sure you are," he mocks, smirking at you. "I'm sure this time you won't just suck it up like you always do."

You lean forward, your face now just a couple inches from Hanbin's and you swear you see just the smallest flash of panic in his eyes at your action. "You're right," you agree. "You're always right, Hanbin."

He stares back at you, unmoving.

"That's why I'm so disappointed," you admit, sentiment suddenly shifting. "It wasn't my lack of confidence that made the possibility that you cheated unfathomable to me. It was honestly that, even after everything we've been through, I've always thought a bit more of you than that."

Hanbin leans back, hands falling to his sides as he continues to frown at you.

"I really don't like you, Hanbin, and I don't like always being in your shadow, but the truth is: you make a much better leader than I would," you confess, everything you've wanted to say now flowing freely out of your mouth. "And up until tonight, I thought that if I had to stand in a shadow, at least it was of someone who on some level deserved to be casting one."

Hanbin just blinks, his lips parting slightly as you study him. When he continues to refuse to react, you turn on your heels and begin to walk back down the hallway in the direction that you'd come from. You're halfway to the doors when Hanbin's voice suddenly rings out behind you:

"Join my team next semester."

You turn around quickly, one eyebrow raised in shock. "What!?"

"You heard me," he replies calmly.

"That's--... That's ridiculous! And your team is full anyway."

"Not for you, it's not," Hanbin quips, walking up to you.

"But--... But--."

"Come on, (Y/N). You just said it yourself: you were never meant to be a leader," Hanbin says as he stops in front of you. "But you're smarter than me. That's why I needed to set you back. There was no way I could've beaten you fair and square this time and you know it."

You stare at him wordlessly, wondering what you did in your past life to have to suffer the acquaintanceship of such an infuriating man.

"Even being thrown off by your stupid marker, you knew that equation like the back of your hand," he continues definitively. "If you had spoken up about the mislabeled tube. If you had trusted yourself about the buzzer..."

"But you knew I wouldn't."

He nods. "So join my team. Anyways, I... I could really use you," he says, a sheepish look on his face that you've never seen him wear around you before. "Blue Team is always able to win Regionals because I know how to beat the Pink Team-- I know how to beat you. But we always lose at Sectionals because the smartest person at our school was on the team we just beat."

You bite your lip, chewing on Hanbin's words as you feel both intensely offended and unfortunately flattered. But you could never let him know the latter. "What about anything that I just said makes you think I would join the team of some cheating asshole?"

To your surprise, he just laughs. "I've never heard you swear before. It's kind of..." He clears his throat, trailing off before he finishes his sentence. "If I'm being honest, your sudden display of willpower is kind of throwing me."

"Well I hope it throws you into another dimension, you self-righteous prick," you respond, turning back around furiously and continuing to walk down the hallway towards the exit doors-- shaking your head at the audacity of the boy called Sung Hanbin.

"Then can I pitch an alternative?" Hanbin calls as your fingers grip the door handle.

You pause, not realizing the mistake you've made as Hanbin's voice ricochets off the walls of the gym hallway:

"Go out with me."

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fluff (8) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven

15 Years of Forever (ao3) - theheartnexttophan

Summary: As of October 19th, 2024, Dan and Phil have known each other for 15 years. They’ve had 15 years of moments together, so here is one moment for each year.

a cat's not just for phantober. this is forever (ao3) - purpurussy

Summary: Fluffy oneshot based on the "cat" prompt for phantober!

Above the Northern Lights (ao3) - trancelover99

Summary: On May 10th, 2024, a seemingly shocking event happened in London, England: The aura borealis was visible for the first time in 20 years due to a solar storm! As thousands of people worldwide gather to see this rare sight, Dan and Phil decide to join by having a midnight picnic under their backyard cherry blossom tree with their new Shiba-Corgi pup, Nuki! Title is based on the Mannheim Steamroller song Above the Northern Lights.

at first blush this is fate (ao3) - alittlestarsick

Summary: 2009 Dan and Phil have a cute winter moment in the snow before Dan has to go back home from his visit to Phil

Bear Mask (ao3) - VendettaWound

Summary: While Dan does think Phil's Freddy Fazbear costume is ridiculous, he also finds it very endearing.

Color Theory (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: Dan and Phil spend Halloween night out in Milwaukee dressed as Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens, and Dan unfortunately learns the consequences of committing to red hair dye when he gets back to their hotel room to wash it out.

cornetto and a hot chocolate (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: a cute little stolen moment shared on a tour break 💙

heart skipped a beat (ao3) - dontcrydraft

Summary: Dan and Phil have a day to spare in Stockholm - cue the seals and the meese, it's time to go to the zoo!

Hoodie Weather (ao3) - dat_carovieh

Summary: Dan loves wearing Phil's clothes

I have to tell you something (ao3) - solarpower21

Summary: Dan confesses he was the one behind the PhilsLion account.

i thought that i was dreaming (ao3) - twoheadlights (fizzfic)

Summary: Dan and Phil and the beds they've shared. Basically.

imagine it (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan and Phil cuddle on the tour bus after their Los Angeles show.

(A fic about 15 years and no but seriously imagine it.)

liquorice ice cream (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan and Phil go on a date to the zoo.

(Snapshots of their Swedish zoo date, September 2024. This fic is free from TIT show spoilers!)

Love, September (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: They say you can tell someone's in love by the moments they capture on camera.

Dan and Phil on a scenic autumnal walk in the woods, as seen through the videos they take of each other.

Meant to be, we might be alright now (ao3) - lesbosz

Summary: Dan thinks about the cramped tour bus bunks and traveling the world again with his soulmate of 15 years.

natural. (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: tampa, florida. known for plenty of things ranging from busch gardens to outback steakhouse. unlike the amusement park, however, there’s a certain drink phil’s been eyeing since he’s seen promotional advertisements on his nightly youtube sessions.

no but seriously imagine it (ao3) - natigail

Summary: It has been 15 years since Dan and Phil met. They wake up on the Terrible Influence tour bus in Las Vegas on their anniversary with plans to see My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy later that day.

no machine (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: dip and pip return home after the american leg of the tit tour. just a soft, loving fluffy thing <3

Not a Lot, Just Forever (ao3) - angelpicnic

Summary: “'Do you think we’d find each other in every universe?'

Dan gave him a look – a you-know-I-don’t-really-believe-in-that-stuff look – but he could see in Phil’s sea-green eyes that he was being genuine.

'Yeah.' Dan said softly. 'Yeah, I think that we would.'”

Or, just a pure fluff fic with coffee in a Hello Kitty mug and a tortoise metaphor. There is literally no point besides sickeningly sweet domestic fluff. :-)

Perfect like a picture, even when they look through the grains (ao3) - skygremlin

Summary: Dan and Phil having a cozy night in with red wine, taking photos for a holiday card and taking videos for each other.

pizza & packing (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: dan and phil eat pizza and pack for their trip. they might love each other a little bit

remote crisis manager (ao3) - danhoweiis

Summary: it's 4am in auckland the day before dan's show and dan is having a crisis

remote crisis manager (part 2) (ao3) - danhoweiis

Summary: it's 4am in england and phil gets a call from dan who is having a crisis whilst in auckland before his show

silent and sure, keeping watch in the night (ao3) - gaydreaming

Summary: Phil has always loved being on tour. The adventure, the sounds of the tour bus, the way his quality time with Dan takes on a different shape. On the road between Oslo and Helsinki, he sees some beautiful stars through the bus window and wakes Dan up in the middle of the night to enjoy them with him.

Stinky Baby (ao3) - easybubbyy

Summary: Phil can be a bit bossy sometimes... (especially in the mornings). Dan doesn't mind one bit.

Sweet Haribo (ao3) - dprkives

Summary: Phil says corny shit to Dan while he’s high on fentanyl at the hospital

take on the world (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: just some soft, post-show intimacy <3

tired showers and comfy sheets (ao3) - majestichowell

Summary: dan and phil are back at the hotel after their show, they can’t wait to go to sleep.

waking up to a dream (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: "I missed you..." Phil mumbled against Dan's jacket, reveling in the familiarity of his smell. "I missed you more," Dan whispered warmly. Phil vehemently shook his head, "Not possible." Dan chuckled. Phil found that sound so sweet and endearing that he pulled him even closer.

Warm (ao3) - ottertrashpalace

Summary: animal shelter volunteers

You and I, We don't wanna be like them (ao3) - phasamtasie

Summary: Phil tries to appear cool when Dan comes to visit him for the first time, but struggles to fall asleep without his favourite plushie. When he admits to his secret, Dan answers with a confession of his own that inspires Phil’s first christmas gift to Dan.

you rocked my world and never left it (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: some sights, smells and sounds in Turkey, and the feelings that follow

[ristois]

Aristois - “SH✰W ✰FF!”

This is an art project I was assigned to complete at the beginning of the school semester, and I figured I'd share it since there are so many Project Sekai references that it's practically fanart at this point. I really didn't mean to make fanart; I started with lyrics from "Teratera" and just kept adding references until the entire collage was themed around Leo/need by accident.

If you decide to read under the cut, just know that there is a lot of writing. I did a lot of yapping.

Launching myself into this, I had a very loose idea of what I wanted to do. I knew I wanted to incorporate bright colors, music, and typography[art and technique of type] into the collage I was assigned to create-- or perhaps more accurately, assemble-- which led me to the idea of using graffiti-inspired text.

The assignment was to create a collage using words somehow, and I immediately decided that I was going to use song lyrics. I chose lyrics from "Teratera", which naturally led me to Leo/need and subsequently interpreting the lyrics I chose through the lenses of a space theme because space band. Vivid BAD SQUAD would fit my initial idea of 'graffiti' more than Leoni with their unit theme, but rock music is pretty punk I'd say. Plus Leoni is my favorite unit.

"SHOW OFF!" isn't the song’s original name despite being the title of my collage, as the original title was in Japanese, and the exclamation mark was added to balance the number of letters. The song is more commonly known by its Romaji name "Teratera" with "SHOW OFF" as the official English translation of the name, despite the more literal translation of "Shimmering".

The producer of "Teratera" has a few different names, as do many other VocaPs. He’s known as Wada Takeaki, KurageP, and electripper, but for my project, I chose his shortest name. The black kanji on a dripping white background spells out KurageP, and in the bottom left pool of green highlighter are little jellyfish as a nod to 'Kurage' translating to 'jellyfish'.

"Teratera" was commissioned for Leo/need, which is why the collage is themed around space. You can see the space theme with the background of Voices and the many stars scattered around the art piece. Both places where I wrote the band name-- in the upper left corner and abbreviated to L/N left of the brick pattern-- are written in blue with a theme of stars in mind. There's also the 'moon' and 'sun' in opposing corners, though I made them more to reflect the lyrics as symbols of life vs death than celestial bodies.

Speaking of life and death, the blue divide in the middle is meant to be a barrier between life and death. I was thinking about the River Styx from Greek mythology, a river that Ancient Greeks would cross on their way into the afterlife. The lyrics I chose are composed of two lines, with the line discussing the singer's single shot at life left written over the blue river. Saki is the Pjsk character "Teratera" was commisioned for, so her backstory plays a large part in the structuring of the collage. The lyrics and placement of the words on the 'river' are meant to show her awareness of her own mortality, because she's balanced on the precarious line of life and death for most of her hospitalized childhood.

People think of death mainly in terms of red and black. Red invokes feelings of anger and the imagery of blood. It's the idealized color of Hell and the afterlife. Meanwhile, black is seen as the absence of all color, and similarly, the absence of all life. There are also associations with death through the Grim Reaper’s outfit choice of a black cloak and the primary color worn at [Western] funerals being black.

However, I feel that green is a much more poetic representation of death. An odd choice perhaps, when the color green usually symbolizes plants and life. But much like yellow, there's a duality to green. Yellow can be the sun’s warm rays or a wasp’s toxic warning coat. Green is poison, the slow death that you see as you die. There can't be life without death; as much as green symbolizes life, it also represents the inevitable death that will come.

The green underneath the 'river' also resembles an asteroid field, with the darker green shapes appearing similar to asteroids scattered around a celestial body. Outer space can also be a metaphor for death, with the very conspicuous lack of oxygen along with deadly radiation in a freezing black void.

The part above the 'river' is stuffed with words in different colors, fonts, and sizes. It's meant to be a little overwhelming and a little messy, just like real life. It's not complete chaos, everything has its reasoning, but there's so much going on that exploring every little bit would take a while. Despite so much going on and the ‘life’ part taking up more space than the 'death' part, the collage is meant to be weighted equally with the calmness of the 'death' part contrasting the chaotic 'life'.

The letters in SHOW OFF! are drawn in four distinct styles modeled after each band member and in their respective character colors of blue, yellow, reddish pink, and green. 'O' has jagged edges and a roundish shape to emulate a meteor because Ichika's first commissioned song was called "Pulse of the Meteor", with the 'S' following the sharpness of 'O'. The bursts of green, red, yellow, and blue from the 'O' are meant to look like spray paint, with the little lightning shapes mimicking a comet tail.

'H' and 'F' have spikes like a heartbeat monitor because these letters were modeled after Saki, who was hospitalized for most of her childhood. Or that's what I would say if that wasn't a complete design coincidence on my part. I did not plan this and burst into semi-histerical giggles when I realized they looked like heartbeat spikes.

The 'O' and 'F' are on graph paper as a reference to Honami's backstory being connected to the actions of her past classmates and school in general, with the 'O' being a star because she's the most knowledgable about astronomy in Leoni.

The 'W' and '!' are closer to an actual graffiti style than the rest to show how Shiho was the one who pushed the others into realizing their dream of becoming professional musicians, reflecting graffiti's close ties with hip-hop music and punk subcultures.

The "Teratera" squished between the 'W' and '!' was drawn with yellow and pink highlighter to reflect the character that the song was commissioned for, since Saki has blonde hair that fades into pink along with pink eyes.

The other words scattered throughout the art piece are the 3rd rotation songs commissioned for the other three band members and the producers of each song. "Teratera" is the Saki's song written by KurageP, "the WALL" is Ichika's song written by buzzG, "Flyway" is Honami's song written by halyosy, and "Voices" is Shiho's song written by Yuyoyuppe.

I drew "the WALL" on a brick pattern that I made impulsively with scrap paper lying around from the ‘sun’ and ‘moon’. It wasn't even supposed to be a brick pattern? I was just stacking the rectangle scraps in a pyramid, and it ended up resembling bricks. I decided to draw "the WALL" onto the pattern, because brick wall, along with “buzzG” underneath in a slightly messier style than usual to try emulating a graffiti artist tagging themselves underneath their art. It’s a little hard to see “the WALL” because I used white pen on yellow paint, but that was intentional to create a faded paint look.

"Flyway" is meant to invoke feelings of an American diner, because Honami's favorite food is apple pies and apple pies are the quintessential American food for some inexplicable reason, seeing as apple pies are decidedly not American in origin. Regardless, the combination of the color red and American food resulted in an old-fashioned American diner checker pattern along with the vaguely cursive lettering reminiscent of old diner signs-- at least the ones that weren’t neon lights.

I liked creating "Voices" the most; it was a result of my experiments with graffiti-based typography using the materials I already had on hand to achieve bright colors. I made “Voices” with two sticky notes layered on top of each other that I cut out with an X-Acto knife along with a green highlighter and a white gel pen for accents. The area I was going to put it in looked a little plain, so I made a galaxy background with a piece of paper painted purple, a blue pen, a black pen, and a white gel pen. Surprise of surprises, blue and black pen scribbled on top of each other created a vague galaxy coloring. I originally tried to write Yuyoyuppe with a black pen, but it blended in too much, so I went over it with my white gel pen.

This art project essentially turned into me stuffing as many PJSK references as I possibly could while drawing funny letters, cramming every inch of free space with color, and attacking every single piece of paper in my vicinity with scissors. And a nigh obsessive use of my white gel pen.

There was very little composition planning before I jumped into this project. Quite frankly, it was only 'moon in one corner, sun in other corner, and lyrics somewhere in the middle'. The rest was pure chaos.

Literally none of the analysis or space metaphors were planned. I was just pulling bullshit out of my pockets because my art teacher told me I needed to write an artist statement to go with my work for an exhibition. I chose to use my statement to explain what the fuck most of the color explosion meant, and it ended up being really long from my accidental info dumping.

My art process was: Collage with words>Song lyrics. "Teratera" ended up being the song I chose -> lyrics about one chance left? sun and moon divided by lyrics -> little swirly thing around moon with HIGHLIGHTER! -> fill in under separating line with the rest of my green scrap paper -> slap dark green scraps on top and immediately regret it because it looks like random ass black triangles in my green -> idly filling in space by making a pyramid with scrap pieces of yellowish rectangular paper from making the sun -> SHOW OFF! has eight letters, which means two for each Leo/need member; design around member colors and general themes of Ichika=spiky, Saki=this one font I made that reminds me of race cars, Honami=notebook doodles, & Shiho=graffiti -> TERATERA in between 'W' & '!' because I wanted to include the Romaji spelling and wanted to use these two highlighters I had to make a warm color gradient -> going to put these lightning bolt thingies to use; background looks kinda plain, so be bedazzled with a graffiti-looking spray thingy!!! -> huh, I should put the name of Teratera's composer somewhere; he gets the honor of the good ole drippy graffiti decal and the only acknowledgment in the piece that this is a Japanese song -> translating the composer's name leads me to add little jellyfish in the swirling green highlighter using more highlighter and my white gel pen -> I have a lot of space to fill under SHOW OFF!; the other Leo/need third tier songs it is! -> huh, the pyramid I made earlier looks like a brick wall pattern. WAIT OMG I COULD WRITE the WALL ON IT!!! -> for some reason my mind went Honami>apple pies>America(though apple pie isn't American)+Honami's represent color & the main color of the Flyway event outfits(red)= retro American diner checker pattern for Flyway -> I spend an entire day making Voices using some sticky notes I had, because I didn't have a good bright yellow or lime green and I wanted a very obvious graffiti-inspired text bit aside from the KurageP earlier -> realize Voice looks naked by itself so scribble on the lest of my scrap paper with blue and black pen to make a galaxy looking thing for a background -> shove Leo/need in the corner using my blue bic pen and custom star font because star band -> lyrics finally get added in white gel pen and black pen -> realize I have Leo/need colored bear highlighters and split the little remaining white space into four, slap L & N on top with my blue pen, and draw the little Leo/need logo from the World Link uniforms on top in white gel pen

I really hope no one who knows me in real life finds this, because they will either be a passing acquaintance or one of my siblings, and I think I would rather have 11 teeth removed again than be confronted by either over fanart.

[cels-not-so-secret-love-affair]

femme fatale (marylily)

a/n: it’s actually been three hundred years since i’ve last put anything up here 😭 cruel thing is i’ve literally had this finished for ages i just couldn’t be arsed to post it xoxo anyways here have sapphics!! titled with the intent of referencing the tvu song <3

The redheaded regular is back. Mary’s eyes flick to her instinctively as she walks in, drawn to her before she can even register what she’s doing. She looks gorgeous, as always. The dress she’s wearing is slim fitting and green, the contrast between the colour of the fabric and the deep scarlet of her hair sharp in a way that almost forbids you from directing your attention elsewhere. Mary follows her with her gaze as she walks to the bar and shrugs off her jacket.

Later on, during a brief and precious moment of downtime, Mary finds her again. She’s sat at a table now, alone, her book lying discarded to the side as she sips her margarita. She’s on the hunt. Mary’s got her M.O figured out completely by now. She enters, sits down, reads for twenty minutes or so, then starts searching. Her eyes scan the room analytically, all business, flicking acutely from face to face. Mary leans back against the wall where she’s stood behind the bar and follows suit. Recently she’s taken to playing a little game - figure out which one the pretty redhead’s going to go for before she makes her move. It’s something of a race between them. Maybe him, she thinks, catching sight of a man sat a few tables away. He’s her type, Mary reckons. Good dress sense. Nice smile. Dark hair. I’ve got dark hair, she muses to herself. Not that that’s relevant or anything.

The redhead proves her right about two minutes after she makes the guess. She starts her game. Mary’s noticed her play it. It begins tame enough. She’ll shoot a few glances over at his general direction, not even at him to start with, just his way. After a while he’ll notice it, feel her eyes on him, and turn his head to look for them. Then he’ll see her - see her freckled shoulders, see how the fallout from her glitzy eye makeup shimmers delicately on her cheeks, see her careful fingers lift her glass to her glossy lips. By then, most men are hooked. For the rest of the evening she’ll flirt with her eyes. Direct her gaze at him like a doe until he goes to meet it, at which point she’ll divert her attention back to the swirl of her drink with a coy smile before he can catch her looking at him. After a few rounds of that, she’ll let him have a win. Just one, to keep him playing. He’ll try to ambush her and she’ll let him have a few seconds of direct eye contact, pretend as if she doesn’t know exactly what she’s doing. She’ll act a little embarrassed. Giggle even. Then, if she’s feeling bold, wink at him before she looks away. After that it’s right back to the chase from before.

The game tonight is going well, Mary thinks. The bloke’s clearly interested in her and she seems to fancy the look of him well enough for now. Any moment now then. Mary’s right again, for it’s at that moment that the pretty redhead pulls out a pen and a notebook from her tote. She uncaps the former, rips a page out of the latter, then sets them both down whilst she goes about rummaging for her lipstick. Once she’s found it, she reapplies it thickly, using her phone as a mirror, then brings the loose piece of paper up to her lips to kiss. When she pulls it away the memory of her pout is captured sweetly in the middle of the page. The red of her kiss stands out salaciously from the white. Picking up her pen, she quickly scribbles her number below it in neat, deft strokes, before signing it with two self-assured x’s for good measure. Mary watches her fold the note up and pack away the rest of her stuff and feels a strange and unreasonable twinge of disappointment unspool in her chest. He’s a very lucky man, she thinks.

She really should be getting back to work by now, but she’s been spying practically since the pretty redhead walked in and she decides she’s going to see the interaction through. She follows her as she gets up from her table and slings her bag over her shoulder. Watches as she walks towards the man’s table. Sees her nod to him, reach out to pat his cheek, and… walk right past him.

‘Hello.’ Huh.

‘Hi. Did you want to… order anything?

‘No, thank you,’ the pretty redhead says, leaning over to smile at Mary brightly. ‘I’m Lily. This is my number.’ She sets the piece of paper she’d folded up down on the bar and pushes it across to her.

‘Mary,’ says Mary, still doing the maths in her head to make the facts of her current situation compute.

‘Mary. I like it. Contact me, then.’

‘Hm?’

‘Well, I’ve made you wait long enough, haven’t I?’ Lily says. ‘Unless I misread the situation and you’re not into me, after all.’

‘I’m into you,’ Mary replies immediately. ‘Very into you. I’ll call.’

Lily smiles again, a gorgeous thing, pleased and earnest and true. The faintest hint of a blush has risen in her cheeks. For a fleeting moment Mary rather thinks she’d like to make her smile like that everyday for the rest of her life.

[taschamonnii]

Often - In Secret

You x Thérèse (In Secret - Elizabeth Olsen) 

Angst/Smut

Summary: In secret except GAY AF! No actual murder of Camille or stupid suicides! That movie is entertaining but fuck that plot. I just envision so much better! Thérèse is so GAY she is Horny and desperate for more than the life she was dealt. You are just the person to rescue her. I give you a character to play here, not just y/n. 

TW: SMUT, 18+, Filthy, Cheating on husbands to be GAY together, 

Here is the title song: Often By Lauren Sanderson

Read On Ao3

AN: You know something about cheating on men to be GAY is so satisfying especially when the man is your cousin! YUCK. I know it was 1860 but like yuck! She had to take care of his sick ass her entire childhood. She was robbed! This is a fix it fic because the movie's plot sucks she literally lives such a shit life the entire time really then dies with an asshole like wtf.

Word Count: 10,821 & 25 Pages!!

Imagine This:

1860 Paris

Thérèse lives a hopelessly mundane routine life in the countryside near Paris. Her sickly cousin Camille requires constant care. Unfortunately, the job of caregiver has been forced onto Thérèse. Her father left her under the care of her domineering aunt. Left as a small girl, Thérèse has grown up sheltered and repressed. Her days consist of keeping quiet and taking care of her cousin. When she gets the chance she escapes on walks and daydreams. She wanders and finds herself in her favourite hidden spot where she can see the hillside across the river. She loves this spot for many reasons but her favourite just happens to be the couples who often sneak off to the otherside for romantic picnics. 

Her favourite couple is there today as she sneakily crawls in the tall grass on her side of the river. She watches as the man with short dark hair unbuttons his shirt. Her eyes are glued to the sight and she can’t help but lick her lips. The girl has long blonde ringlets that fall on her bare shoulders as he undoes her blouse. Thérèse watches wide green eyes and brown hair falling in a mess around her as she presses her hips into her bunched up dress. Her clit throbs watching the couple kiss. The woman's skin looks impossibly soft and his muscles seem to glisten in the sun and she can’t help her mind. She wonders what it must feel like to be each of them. She imagines kissing and touching and her hips move against her dress as a deep desire to gain friction sets in as it often does here. The couple seems to be in a rush today and she struggles to reach her own satisfaction. They finish before her and she sighs in frustration. She closes her eyes and tries to picture them but it doesn’t help. She is about to give up and head back home until she sees two girls across the way. They lay out a blanket and look around. Her curiosity is peaked as she watches them carefully not to be seen. She has never seen two girls use the spot.

Her jaw drops as they lean in and kiss. The way they kiss is so different from the way the others kiss. It is languid and so soft. She feels a heat rush to her lower abdomen. They keep their clothes fully on but somehow it is hotter than any scene she has witnessed here before. Her hips began to thrust against her bunched up dress once again out of her own control. The girl with brown hair starts kissing down the red heads neck and Thérèse shivers at the thought. The brunette then moves a hand to cup the redheads breast over the fabric of her dress and the girl throws her head back in a soft moan. Thérèse watches mouth open and soft hot breaths fall from her lips as she thrusts and grinds against her dress. She watches in awe as the brunette’s hand travels under the many layers of the others’ dress. She can’t see exactly what the girl is doing but she can see that the redhead is enjoying it. She grinds harder and faster and finally feels the release she was building to. She sighs and watches as the girls continue to softly kiss and touch. Now the redhead has got her head under the others’ dress. Thérèse swallows hard as she watches the brunette's reactions. She desperately wants to know what is happening under that dress. When she thinks about the possibilities she squeezes her legs shut and feels a shiver run up her back. She can’t stop herself and curiously changes her position just enough to lay on her side. She moves her own hand down and under the layers of fabric that make up her dress and undergarments. She slips her slender fingers past the tie that holds her trousers on and past the soft curls. Her skin is so hot and wet as she presses her middle finger against her throbbing swollen clit. She rubs slowly and tests different pressures. She adds a second finger and rubs in circles around the sensitive skin and it feels so good. She watches the girls and rubs her clit. She has to bite her bottom lip to suppress the sounds that threaten to escape her throat. She’s never felt this good. As she reaches release she can feel her body contract harder than ever and it makes her legs flex. 

She has to lay in the grass for a moment after to catch her breath. 

She has been a good obedient girl all this time. Barely getting sweet moments to herself. News of her fathers death brings change. Madame Raquin informs her that she has no options. She is forced to marry her cousin Camille and they move to Paris so he can get a job and they can open a fabric shop. 

Although the change of scenery and friends are interesting, Thérèse still finds her life sad and boring. Camille doesn’t kiss her the way the couples on the hill side kiss. He coughs during his sad attempt at sex and she just lays there. She is miserable and lonely. Until one day Camille brings you home for dominos night. 

Your name is Lauren LeClaire and you have this androgynous sort of look about you. Your dress is not puffed out but slim and fitting to you. You refuse to wear those ridiculous hoops. The top looks more like a suit than a dress which you tailored to your body. The top-hat you wear is odd to say the least. (Anne Lister vibes)

You have dark black hair and dark mysterious brown eyes that seem to look right through Thérèse. She can’t help but stare at you. She decides instantly she needs to hate you because you are far too alluring. You look at her like you are hungry like you have secret thoughts. Because you do. The moment your gaze fell on the quiet girl you knew you needed to break her out of her shell. 

It was more than that though you could see the way she looked at you she had secrets and you could read her body. It was obvious how desperately she craved pleasure and you were determined to be the one to give it to her. 

Each time you play dominos you make sure to brush past her at every opportunity. It is beyond satisfying to hear her take a sharp inhale of breath or shudder as you invade her space. You love seeing her cheeks tint a shade of pink that just makes her skin look more irresistible. 

You are lucky your friendship with Camille and Madame Raquin allows you to be over at their place more and more frequently. From the little interactions with Thérès you know she is desperate for each little moment. 

You offer to paint Camille and struggle to concentrate on him as Thérèse sits in your view watching with those intense emerald eyes.

 Camille sits in front of you  “I’ve tried but just can’t imagine it.”

“What?” 

“Standing there with a palette and brush in hand while a woman takes off her clothes.”

“Can’t you?”

“I wouldn’t know where to look.”

“There are dozens of places.”

“My hands would shake. It’s different for you, you are a woman.”

“It isn’t different at all. I paint all bodies, women and men. I appreciate the beauty of all human beings.”

“I’d be hypnotised.”

“Have you not seen a woman?” 

Your curiosity gets the better of you and you can’t stop your gaze from falling onto Thérèse. Her emerald eyes are watching you carefully. You want desperately to know how much intimacy they have shared. 

“Bare?” 

You nod yes.

“No. Why would I? How do you manage to paint it all?”

“Well you are married, Camille. You don’t just look at the body, you listen to it. The body speaks especially when the model also gets hypnotised.”

You don’t miss the way Thérèse softly gasps.

Camille laughs and imitates what he thinks the body may say “I have to go wee.”

Thérèse looks between you and Camille, quiet and observant as always.

“Yeah, maybe. The body says other things.”

“Love me, I suppose.”

“The first model I ever painted was a beautiful redhead. Naturally red, as I quickly discovered. The only hitch was this beautiful creature was deaf as a brick. I couldn’t call out the adjustments I wanted, I had to mould her, like a sculpture.”

You watch as Thérèse visibly swallows.

“One afternoon, I wanted her legs a bit wider. So I went to move her knees apart, but on a feeling I touched the inside of her thigh with the tip of my brush. Where the skin is soft and smooth as cream and warm.”

You watch as your words affect Thérèse. Her lips part and she licks her lips. She bats her long lashes rapidly. You can hear Thérèse take a shaky breath and want nothing more than to feel her lips tremble against your own, her shaky breath playing on your skin. You bite your bottom lip at the thought. 

“The lightest touch of my brush.”

“Did she make the move you were after?”

You catch her staring at your hand as you paint and Thérèse looks down away from you in an instant. 

“She did.”

“And what was her body saying to you then?”

“Brush me again.”

Thérèse gasps and her eyes wander the room almost like she can’t catch her breath. You watch with a smirk. She is in a bit of a panic like her thoughts were too much for the moment. She scrunches up her nose like she’s thinking trying to come back to reality.

“Alright time for the big reveal, get your mother.” 

Camille did as he was told, happily rushing down the stairs to find his mother leaving you alone with Thérèse. “Do you know what your body says to me, Thérèse?”

Her eyes widened and she shook her head. “It says touch me, kiss me, take me.”

Her jaw fell a little with each word and you wanted so desperately to brush your thumb over her plump and pink bottom lip. “You desire pleasure. I desire to pleasure you.” 

Before she can speak you can hear the creak of the stairs as Camille and Madame Raquin approach and you place your index finger over your lips. A smirk forms on your lips. You share a secret now and you can see the effect it has on her. You straighten up as Camille and Madame Raquin enter the room. Thérèse stands and they wait. 

You turn the canvas and stand slowly revealing the dark painting of Camille. You enjoy watching their different reactions to the painting. Camille is so happy and it makes you happy to see. He is so innocent and ignorant. It is funny to watch Madame Raquin look at the painting with a furrowed brow. You can tell it unsettles her. There is a reason of course you went for a dark version of your friend because this place is dark suffocating. Watching the way Camille and Madame Raquin demand things from Thérèse is suffocating. It’s in the air. 

“Isn’t it distinguished?”

Madame scoffs, “It doesn’t resemble you, it's blue and so grey.”

“It resembles my soul, mother.”

Madame looks at you, “Oh, is that what you were after?”

“I paint what I see Madame.”

Camille is thrilled and your answer seems to make Madame smile as well. The bell downstairs rings and Madame moves to leave but Camille stops her. “Let me go out and get a bottle of champagne to celebrate.”

“Yes!”

“No two bottles!”

“Yes, yes!”

You stop paying them any attention as they ramble in happiness. Your gaze falls to Thérèse. She ponders the painting with her fingers pressed to her lips. 

Madame and Camille run off and you pay them little mind as you watch Thérèse.

“Do you like it?”

“You said you couldn’t paint.” 

You stare at Thérèse gaze wandering her entire body, eyes lidded. Her body speaks to you. One of her arms is crossed over her body supporting her other elbow as she rubs her pink lips with her fingers and touches her chin. 

The words escape your lips softly, “Unbutton your blouse.”

Her body and gaze turn to yours, her lips parted ever so slightly. Her hand moves away from her lips. She is not shocked by your words. She is not put off by them either. No, she is entranced by them. She wants to do it. She has been dying to do it.

“We don’t have time.”

Your lips fall apart in awe of her. You have never felt the heat pool so low so quickly before and it takes all your strength to keep yourself from melting into a puddle at her feet. She wants you and you want her and the room feels intense and thick with desire. There is a magnetic force between you and it is impossible to withstand. 

As she looks at you and you look at her the magnet wins and her hands fly to the buttons of her blouse as she holds your stare. Her body turns more fully facing you and you make quick strides to stand before her. The anticipation written on her face for what you will do is breathtaking. Her red lips are parted and her breath is quick as she continues to unbutton her blouse in a rush. As you close the gap you grab her waist with one hand and slide one hand from her cheek to her jaw and neck and pull her in as you part your lips. As you close your eyes you see her lips part for you her head tilt into the embrace and you let yourself fall apart as your lips collide with hers. Your tongue just pokes out enough to help you suck on her upper lip. She leans her entire body into you as she manages to match your slow but passionate kisses. Your breath is hot and mixing with hers and she tastes divine. Her lips move against yours fitting perfectly as you both change angles. 

You can’t stop yourself, your hands have minds of their own and you move one hand around her lower back to support her as your other falls to her open blouse. You pull the fabric away from her and relish at the sight of her pale skin. Your lips quickly find purchase on her exposed cleavage. You kiss and bite and suck the soft warm skin and breathe her in deeply. She smells so sweet. Her lips brush against your neck at the strained angle as she breathes hot and heavy against your skin. She begins to pant as you bite harder.

“Ah”

“Am I hurting you?”

A breathless “Yes” falls from her lips.

“Oh Ah” 

She tugs her bottom lip between her teeth slowly releasing it. As more soft sounds leave her.

The sounds that leave her parted lips have your knees feeling weak. You squeeze her clothed breast in your hand as you continue to bite and suck the exposed skin. She leans back her grip on your waist tightening.

“Don’t moan.”

She gasps for air trying to silence her pleasure and it is earth shattering to hear her against your ear. To feel her panting against your neck trying not to make a sound. One of her hands grabs at your shoulder and back trying desperately to hold on. You turn her, lifting her into your arms by her waist and kiss her lips once more. Her hands fly into your hair and grip at the back of your neck. You quickly move her back against the wall of windows and slowly bring her down onto the bench she had been sitting on earlier. Your lips still slotted together in wet hot kisses. 

As you set her down she parts from your lips and looks out the windows that lead to the stairs of the apartment. You attach yourself to her neck and press yourself hard between her legs. One hand on her outer thigh pushing the layers of dress up. Her hands pull your face back to hers and she kisses you hard biting your bottom lip. 

You gasp and she slides her tongue over your lips and into your mouth you suck lightly on her tongue and her hips buck up into yours. She grinds her hips against your clothed abdomen without resolve chasing sweet friction. Your kisses become a messy mix of teeth and tongue. She is lost in the feeling and can’t stop herself from chasing that familiar release. You part from her lips as her body shudders against you and you watch helplessly as she comes undone in your arms. Her tightly shut eyes, the crease in her forehead, her lips parted in almost a painful expression, teeth shown to you as her nose scrunches and a moan leaves her lips barely audible. She is breathtaking. You need more, you need to see her lose herself again and again.

You are seconds away from moving your hand between her legs when the bell clangs downstairs.

You quickly stand and straighten yourself as she quickly buttons her blouse and flattens out her dress. 

“Tomorrow at noon,“ you whisper, “during my lunch I must see you.”

She nods and points to a door and you make a quick note of the side door and nod your understanding. You both manage to look composed as Camille and Madame Raquin return. 

>>>>

The next day is agonisingly slow. Each click of the clock builds anticipation.

When you are finally walking down the side path to the shop your body is buzzing. She lets you in with a giddy energy about her and pulls you into the doorway pinning you against the wall instantly kissing you like you never stopped your kisses from the day before. She quickly moves you away from the wall and to the bench. You sit but before she can lower herself into the position you were in yesterday between your legs you stop her. You grab at her waist and she looks down at you curiously. You move a hand down and under the layers of her dress. You take her leg in your hand and make her place a foot on the bench beside you. This opens her legs to you and you make a quick effort to do what you wanted to yesterday. Your hand travels between her legs and she watches from above with parted lips breathing heavily already. You move your other hand under the dress as well.

“Unbutton your blouse.”

She quickly does as she is told and then rests her hands on your shoulders. You take both your hands to her waist under the dress and find the band to her trousers and pull them down. You hold her hip in one hand and slide your fingers through soft curls and into wet heat. She leans over you at the first touch, grip on your shoulder tightening. You softly explore and spread her slick heat over her lips before applying pressure to her clit. She gasps for air at the direct pressure. You slide two fingers up and down and watch how it drives her crazy. She bites her bottom lip as she stares down at you, her eyes a darker shade of green. She feels so warm and soft in your hands. You want her to show you what she likes. Her using your body yesterday to get the pleasure she desired had you so wet. 

“Show me where.”

She pushes herself more upright and grabs her dress in each hand as she moves her hips forcing your fingers to slide against her. She lifts herself up slightly and your fingers press to her entrance. She slowly moves to envelop your fingers inside her. You can feel the stretch around you. She is so tight and wet it has your own hips pressing into the bench below you clit throbbing. She begins to slowly move her hips again leaning over you and grabbing at your shoulder as she breathes out.

You press your fingers inside her against the spot that drives all women mad.

“Show me, there?”

You curl your fingers “there?” You smile as her eyes shut tight and she makes that face you are becoming addicted to “right there?”

She leans over you more and has to put a hand on the wall behind you to keep from falling over you. You repeat your motions until you can’t her walls clench and contract around you. Quiet moans leave her lips and you feel your own walls contract around nothing just at the sight, sounds and feel of Thérèse cuming on your fingers. 

Her hips slow and she shudders as you slowly slide out of her. You find her trousers and pull them back up her legs and remove your hands from under her dress. She remains leaning for a moment before standing upright once again. She then falls to her knees in front of you and leans in to kiss your lips. She presses herself between your legs hard, pressing as close as she can. You match her kisses and bite her bottom lip. She pulls back and her gaze travels your body she leans back a bit and takes her palm down your chest and abdomen still fully clothed and down in between your legs. She presses her palm down hard against you and it relieves the throb in your clit. She moves it up and down against you and you are far too close to the edge because that is all it takes for you to throw your head back in pure bliss. She continues her motion after your back arches and you have to grab her hand to stop her.

“Thérèse.”

She bites her bottom lip and leans in to kiss your lips once again. “I want more.”

“Me too. I want to taste you. I want to see you, all of you.”

She shudders at your words with a sharp intake of breath.

“Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Don’t be late!”

You nod as you stand and pull her up with you. She rushes to kiss you and her kiss is desperately asking you to keep your promise. You kiss her and squeeze her entire body closer by her waist. You can feel her smile against your lips and it makes you smile even as you pull away. She rushes you and pecks your lips once more before pulling away fully. 

>>>>

The next time she opens the door for you she is in her corset and her slip. Her brown hair is down in loose waves. It's longer than you thought and you can’t wait to have your hands in it. Her appearance catches you off guard and you pause for a moment. You drink her in but she is impatient and rushes to kiss you in the doorway. It’s quick and before you know it she has pulled you through the door and pushed you against the wall. Her lips are hungry for you. Her hands pull at your clothes and then she is gone in an instant around the corner you follow as she flops down onto her bed.

“Your marriage bed? Madame could come up here at any minute.”

She rolls from her flopped position with a smile.

“Oh, she wouldn’t dream of leaving the shop. Besides, I have a terrible headache and I need to rest.”

She makes a show of rolling on the bed and you bite your bottom lip and rub your fingers over it as you watch her.

She looks at you and smiles “You’re afraid.”  

Your hands drop and you take a step closer to the end of the bed and she laughs. She gets on her knees and crawls to the edge of the bed with a teasing smile. You laugh softly. 

“I can’t believe you’re the same lifeless girl that always sat in the corner.”

You step up to the bed and she lays her hand on your chest and begins unbuttoning your blouse.

“Oh, you have no idea how much they’ve stolen from me.”

You run your fingers up her bare arms mapping out her freckles in your mind on the way.

She continues with a laugh. “I almost ran away twice.”

You slowly lift your hand and brush her hair back out of her face. And she leans into your touch.

“But she always said I couldn’t survive without them.”

You run your thumb down her cheek and over her plump bottom lip and she bites you lightly. You brush her chin as she continues. “And I believed her. Now there is nothing left of me but a bit of burnt wick and a wisp of smoke.”

She begins to pull your blouse and dress away revealing your white undershirt and trousers. She bites her lip as she reveals more of you. The sun coming in through the window makes her pale skin glow golden and her green eyes lighter than you have ever seen them. She is hypnotising. 

“Now look at you.”

She smiles, teeth still pressed to her bottom lip as her hands travel down your chest and abdomen. She leans in slowly as she whispers in a deep sultry voice.

“So don’t be afraid. Danger passes by those who look it right in the eye.”

You both lean in and kiss with a bit of teeth clashing. She pulls on you by the unbuttoned collar of your blouse. You fall on top of her in a mess of white cotton. She giggles against your lips and it is infectious. You want to make her laugh forever and more to feel her laugh on your lips is a blessing from above. You are in heaven laying on top of her. Her hands work at your clothes once again. With your help and parting from her lips to untangle yourself from the undergarments you are bare in front of her. Your tan skin is already hot with a thin layer of sweat from the brisk walk here and the struggle to get undressed. 

She licks her lips as her gaze falls from your face to every inch of you she can see. She is memorising your body, hungry to keep the image for herself, always. Your abdomen is strong and lean and there is a hint of abs. Your breasts are small and perky but the perfect size for her hands to hold. She bites her bottom lip as you hold yourself up above her. Your arms are flexed and she can’t help herself. Her slender long fingers run over your body making you shudder. Her gaze is intense. Her green eyes are dark and her pupils only leave a thin ring of emerald. 

You look down at her body and smirk.

“Now something about this is not fair.”

“Do something about it.”

You smirk as you sit back and pull her upright. You untie her corset and are seconds away from ripping the damn thing when it finally gives and you can unclip it. You pull it away and toss it aside. Her slip is made of thin white cotton that now exposes her hard nipples and you lick your lips in anticipation. 

“Get on your knees”

As she moves you tug the bottom of her slip up and when she is on her knees you pull it off over her head. Her skin is smooth as silk. The sweet porcelain is dotted with random freckles and as your gaze falls to her breast you find your favourite one. She has a single freckle on her left breast and you can’t help yourself as you attach your lips to it. Her hands fly into your hair and you press against her skin to skin. She is so soft and warm. She falls back on the bed as you suck and attempt to bite her breast. You want that freckle marked as yours. When she falls away from you a grunt leaves your lips. Until your gaze lands on her laid bare in front of you. She is breathtaking. Her breasts are just slightly bigger than yours and perky and her nipples are hard and a beautiful shade of pink. Her porcelain skin is flawless minus a few bruises and you adore her little belly. There is a hint of abs and she has soft lines that accent her hip bones in a delicious way. You can’t help but devour her with your gaze. Her legs are so much longer than you ever would have thought. They are fit but slender and have you wishing to worship every inch of them. 

You lean back on your knees and grab both her ankles and make her bend her legs. You lean in and kiss her inner knee on each side. You look at her through lidded eyes. You move your kisses up on the inside of her right thigh then her left. Back and forth between each leg, up…up…up, until you hover over her. You kiss the soft skin of her belly up between her breasts and capture her lips once again. She groans into your lips. And you feel her hips press up into you. "Please!"

You break from the kiss and smirk "trust me." 

You lean down and kiss her breasts, you slot your legs with hers and press your thigh against her. She sighs with relief. You bite and suck on that beautiful freckle. And squeeze her other breast. You move your kisses to her nipple and suck and flick your tongue over the stiff bud. She gasps as you bite lightly. You pinch her other nipple and you feel her hips begin to grind against you. She's so wet that you can't bear it and move your kisses down her belly. You glance up through lidded eyes before slowly leaning in to kiss her between her hips. 

She grinds into you needy. She pants out hot breaths. "Ah!"

You grab her thighs and guide her legs to put them on your shoulders. You hold the outside of her hips and suck her clit into your mouth. Her heels dig into your back as she tries to get more of you. 

You give into her needy movements and run your tongue down entering her sweet source. You moan into her she tastes so fucking good. You want this to last forever. But you can feel her legs tremble and know she is close. You devour her getting lost in the way she feels and sounds and tastes. Her thighs squeeze around your head and you groan against her. If you suffocated right now you'd die happy.

Her hands tug at your hair and she grinds against you as her thighs squeeze you and her heels dig into your back hard. "Ah AH! AHH!"

Her back arches off the bed and she presses more into you. You feel her contract and lick up every drop as she cums and squirms beneath you. 

You squeeze her hips harder trying to get her to hold still. You feel her muscles all tighten and she strains against you as you try to get more. She pulls your hair hard and releases her thighs from around your head pulling you up. You can feel her on your chin and can't stop licking your lips. 

She pulls you up and kisses you hard. She groans into the kiss and you groan back as she sucks on your tongue. You pull away when you need air and she swipes her thumb over your chin then licks it and you collapse on top of her 

She rolls you over surprisingly easily and straddles your hips. She runs her fingers over your chest and squeezes your breast pinching each hard nipple. She kisses the valley between them and down your abdomen. Moving her body down until she manoeuvres between your legs. Her hands follow. She kisses all over your lower stomach and inner thighs. She sits up and runs a hand down over you pressing her palm against your clit. Then she runs her two middle fingers down and then up spreading your slick heat and making you moan low. 

She runs the two fingers back down and just teases your entrance. She leans down then lays between your legs. She looks up at you through long lashes and leans down pressing her lips against you as her fingers slide in. She presses her tongue against you flat then flicks and sucks your clit as she presses her fingers deep inside you. You pant and shake your so worked up you're scared it won't take much. Your hands are in her hair.

"Thérèse. Thérèse."  

You pant and groan and moan her name falling from your lips softly. She hums and moans against you enjoying this new found pleasure she gets from pleasing you. 

The vibrations are too much and it takes barely any time to reach the edge and tumble off the cliff. You would be embarrassed but her eyes are sparkling with pride. She smiles as she sits back up and it murders you. She then rubs her thumb over her chin and bottom lip and sucks it clean and you throw your head back at a loss for words. 

She crawls over you slowly pressing her full weight on you and the warmth and feel of her brings you back to reality. You smile as she reaches your lips and captures them. You can feel her smile back into the kiss and it melts you. 

Your hands run up and down her back and squeeze her ass to pull her up even more. You trap her bottom lip between yours and suck lightly on it. Your kisses are slow and soft and hot. Her breath and the taste of you mixes with the taste of her on your lips and it is so addicting.

>>>>

The next time you see her is at dominos. She plays this time with a sly grin as she destroys everyone at the table. You share glances and the table discusses how it’s always the quiet ones in the corner you have to look out for. They are right because Thérèse is the epitome of the quiet one in the corner but secretly there is so much more to her. 

You know how she tastes and feels. You know the way she commands you with her eyes. 

The next day as you fuck her against a wall and she pants in your ear you feel like the luckiest person on earth to know all of her like this. 

You have two fingers buried in her from behind as she leans against the wall in a corner. Your other hand is wrapped around her front and your middle finger circles her clit as you thrust into her from behind and bite her slender shoulders. She holds the wall for support and moves her hips in time with you. You bite her shoulder harder and she reaches back with one of her hands to pull your hair. “Ah! I can’t stand not being with you.”

“Mmm I’m here.”

You thrust into her harder and she has to grab the wall once again to keep herself up. 

“Thérèse, Thérèse!” Madam shouts from downstairs.

“I have a terrible migraine, Madam.”

“Would you like a cup of tea?”

You fuck her harder and faster. “Maybe later. I need to rest.”

She turns in your arms and you pick her up with one arm and pin her against the wall as she wraps her legs around you. Your fingers slip deeper in at this angle. She is tight around your fingers, dripping down her thighs that are wrapped around you tight. Her head is thrown back against the wall. Moans fall from her open mouth and her eyebrows furrow. You kiss on the overflow of cleavage pouring from her corset and breathe her in. She smells so sweet and feels like heaven. 

She pants out hard. You bite at her exposed skin. “You like to lie.”

“I do, ah, and I’m good at it. They made me good at it.”

Her whispered tone and the feel of her have you on the edge yourself. You press your hips into your own hand to help your fingers get deeper and to find some kind of friction to relieve the throbbing in your clit. “Oh mmm”

You begin to thrust your hips helping to push your fingers deeper in a rhythm that she matches with her hips. “Ah! Thank you for locking me up in his sick room!”

You move harder, “Shh! Mmmm!”

Her eyebrows furrow and she bares her teeth as her jaw drops to allow for her heavy breathing.

“Ah! Thank you for burying me alive!”

Her walls tighten around you as you thrust harder. Your walls contract around nothing and with a few more thrusts you are both coming undone. 

“Oh Ah AH!”

“Ah! I Thank you! OH THANK YOU! AH!”

Her walls clench and contract around you tightly as she cums hard. You sign out as your own pleasure floods you. You hold her there against the wall keeping your fingers inside and your hips pressed as close as possible as you both pant and catch your breath. You kiss her neck and she digs her fingers into your shoulders. Her panting becomes sighs. Her face slowly falls to a solemn sad expression. “What’s the matter?”

“You dug me up too late.”

“No, just in time, just in time.”

You kiss her and press into her but she breaks free from the kiss. She whispers, “Save me.”

You kiss her and hold her close. You lock your gaze on her sad green eyes. “I will. I will.”

>>>>

The next day you both feel lighter and sillier than ever. Maybe it is the cool air today but you end up softly exploring each other's bodies. You end up on the floor as you tickle her sides and wrap your arms around her from behind and kiss her shoulder. Her laugh fills you with warmth and joy like nothing else ever has and as you suspect nothing ever will. 

You tickle her more and press against her to try and get more of her adorable laughter.

She laughs and squirms in your arms. “I hated you at first.”

You laugh along with her. “You hated me?”

She turns over in your arms and you remain laying on your side so you can look at her. She bites her bottom lip and you trace your finger over her jaw. 

“Before you ever touched me.”

She whispers in her low and deep voice as she touches your collar bones with her fingertips. “I used to walk into a room, and I’d see you there. And you’d barely look up. I'd find myself moving around and around your chair, hoping that a small part of my dress or my hand might touch you.”

You brush your fingers on her chest as she plays with your chin. “Do you still hate me?”

Her gaze saddens her eyes loose the light and she whispers softly “Yes”.

“Why?”

“Because you can leave me.”

“But I won’t. I promise.”

You lean in and brush your nose against hers and kiss her. “I promise.” 

You kiss her again. And again “I promise.”

She holds your face in one of her hands and melts into your kisses as she pulls you on top of her with her other hand. She finally cracks a smile as you tickle her hip before rolling back over onto your back pulling her on top of you. You kiss her and fit your legs in a tangled bare mess. The kisses quickly heat up and your hips begin to move against each other. You grind on each other's thighs, her hands tightly gripping your shoulders for leverage and your hands gripping her ass firmly to help her. It doesn’t take long for you both to lose yourselves in the pleasure. Her loose wavy brown hair falls in a mess around you and you have the best view of her cleavage that is barely contained by the corset and slip. You don’t think you will ever be able to get enough of her. Both your movements become more frantic. You both pant and sigh and moan quietly. The sounds of just how wet you both are is delicious and you can feel her hips become more rigid and your own rise to meet the impending climax. Sweet release has you both shaking and breathing heavily against each other. She collapses onto you and falls to your side. You turn to look at her.

Your fingers are tracing over her skin mapping her freckles. She lays flat beside you, hair sprawled out and all over. The sun coming in the window makes her fair skin seem lightly kissed by the warmth of the sun. Her cheeks are flush with a vibrant shade of pink and you know it was not the sun but you. You lean over her and smile. 

>>>>

The next time you see her you both stay dressed. You are exhausted from work and sit on the floor while she plays with your hair as you rest your head in her lap as she sits on a chair. Her slender fingers are skilled and soft and she twists and tangles and untangles your hair. Her fingers run through it over and over and send chills down your spine. You honestly feel so blissed out that you think you may enjoy this as much as the sex if not more! She is so caring and just feels so right. She hums for a while and stares down at you with her sweetest smile. 

“I want to fall asleep in your arms.”

You sigh happily at the thought of it. “I wish that could happen.”

“I want to touch your body while you sleep. I want to wake up with your tongue inside me.”

She smiles and tugs lightly on your ear and you can’t help but laugh as well.

“Thérèse. Thérèse I made you some Chamomile tea.” Madam shouts as she ascends the stairs.

“Oh, my god. Get under my skirts.”

She stands quickly and you manoeuvre yourself under and between her legs as best you can. It is a tight fit.

“Thérèse?”

You are surrounded by her sweet scent under her skirts and pressed against her skin it makes your mouth water. “Open your legs.”

“No.”

“I can’t breathe.”

“I don’t care.”

She pushes the skirts and sits back in the chair as she gets comfortable and it allows you just a little more room.

Madame knocks and brings tea in “were you dozing, dear? I thought I heard you mutter something.”

Thérèse sighs and moves ever so slightly to look at Madame which allows you to fit your head between her thighs.

“Maybe I was. I don’t remember.”

You begin to softly kiss her inner thighs and nip at the soft skin. She is only wearing the skirts today so she is exposed to you. You can tell the effect you have on her as she sighs and moves to accommodate you between her legs. You kiss up…up…up.

“Tea?”

“Yes, please.”

She sighs heavily as you kiss her right where she needs you and you smirk. Your dirty girl is so bad she is so wet and you know it’s the thrill of being caught that has her so sensitive to your slow kisses. 

She gasps and unintentionally moves her sitting position just a bit. You are being squeezed between her legs and it is glorious. 

“How’s your head? Still agonising?”

You suck her clit into your mouth evilly hoping to affect her answer. 

She gasps “Ah! It comes and goes.” She struggles.

She takes a deep breath trying to steady herself. “Perhaps I should rub your neck.”

“Oh, you know, I don’t think that's-” “-Oh, it always helped when you were small.”

You hear Madame walk around behind Thérèse and smirk as you flick your tongue over Thérèse. 

Thérèse takes a deep and shaky breath as Madame massages her neck and you lap at her dripping sex. Kissing, sucking, flicking. 

“You know, you’ve had so many headaches lately. Perhaps we should talk to the doctor.”

“Mmm-hmm.” 

“I need you by my side, dear, down in the shop.”

Thérèse barely contains a sharp gasp as you devour her. And dig your short nails into her thighs to try and gain control of her strong legs. 

“Yes.”

She breathes out softly and you can tell she is giving in to you as her legs allow you to move your head slightly down so you can take directly from the source. But the second your tongue presses against her tight core her legs squeeze around you tighter around your head and muffle the outside world. You think maybe Madame is singing but you could care less you manage to get just enough leeway that you can lick the length of her and flick your tongue over her clit. You don’t know how much time passes as you lose yourself in her. The heat trapped under her skirts makes her skin feel so soft. You suck and flick and devour her until she pulls you out from under her skirts. You didn’t even hear Madame leave. She kisses you and bites your bottom lip. 

“Christ, Lauren!” 

>>>>

You are lounging on your bed reading in your long white button up when a panicked series of soft knocks sound at your door. You disregard your book and rush to the door. 

Thérèse is in a panic, it’s late and you were not expecting her to show up at your place. She rushes to kiss you the second you open your door and the kiss is frantic. You pull back and pull her into your apartment and press her against the door. You hold her face in both your hands and search her eyes for answers.

“He wants to go back to Vernon! I can’t be without you, I can't.”

“Breathe, Thérèse. Did you run here?” 

She takes a deep but shaky breath and it causes the water in her eyes to streak down her cheeks. You catch the tears with your thumbs and she closes her eyes. “Save me, Lauren.”

You lean in and kiss her firmly with as much reassurance as you can muster. She bites your bottom lip and kisses back with a fever. You can feel her fears and desperation to have you and keep you. You move your hands down her face and neck and grip her hips pushing her into the door harder. Her hands tangle in your hair and pull she is so scared she is trembling and it breaks your heart. You want to wrap her in your arms to reassure her but she needs something else first. She runs a hand between you and runs two fingers through your slick heat. You can’t help the groan that escapes you. She is being more aggressive than she’s ever been demanding to get what she needs. 

You move your hands bunching up her skirts in one hand and waste no time matching her. Your fingers match her aggressive fever. She kisses and bites at your lip between breathy moans and it takes no time at all for you both to come undone. You have to press your entire body against her and the door to keep you both from collapsing. She kisses you once more after you both catch your breath. “I can’t live without you any longer!” 

Her gaze is too much; the tears in her green eyes make them impossibly green. You turn away and she follows, unable to lose contact with you she latches onto your back and pulls at you. “What do we do?”

Her voice breaks and the raspy roughness solidifies how much she's been crying. Your heart is shattering. You can’t live without her. 

You turn and wrap her in your arms tightly. “I won’t lose you, Thérèse. I can’t.”

She buries her head in the crook of your neck and you sigh as you think.

“I could move with you.”

She looks up at you with tear stained cheeks and red puffy lips agape. She shakes her head.

“It wouldn’t be the same. I'd see you even less! What if we run away together?”

You nod acknowledging her words. “We can’t just run, we'd need to disappear. Fake our deaths and become new people!” 

She looks at you desperate. “Could we? How?” 

“People disappear and go away all the time, we make it seem like an accident. People have accidents everyday.”

She searches your gaze. “Do you love me?” She asks firmly. 

“Yes. Do you love me?”

“Yes.”

“Then we disappear together and we become Luarent and Thérèsa Lister. We change our names, I hide my body and I become your husband.”

“Could we?”

“I think we could. We could run away to America or just get out of Paris.”

You kiss her quickly “tomorrow we can make a plan.”

She nods and pecks your lips once more before turning and leaving.

>>>>

The two of you work out a plan. You manage to get new papers for the both of you and begin setting up for the day. 

When the day comes things feel heavy. The weight of it all sets in as you walk in the park with Thérèse and Camille. The tall greenery that surrounds you makes you feel small, insignificant and you think maybe just maybe this plan of yours will work. Maybe you will get to be happy.

Camille is yammering about summer and you are struggling to focus on his words. Thérèse interrupts him and your nervous thoughts. “Listen.”

“What?”

“I hear water.”

“Maybe it’s the leaves drifting down.”

You interrupt “It’s the river. Beyond those trees over there.” 

You point and Thérèse looks. 

“Why don’t we rent a boat and row out into the sunset?” Camille asks.

“Just let me sit down for a moment.”

Camille wanders over to a tree and sits. Thérèse follows him and you follow even farther behind, lost in thought.

“Are you tired?”

“Oh, I’m exhausted. I couldn’t have trudged another step. Just let me catch up with a couple of winks.”

Thérèse walks slowly closer to him and he calls her to sit next to him. You can’t help but roll your eyes at him. He is a giant manchild. He lays down on the puff of her dress and closes his eyes. You take a seat near Thérèse and look at them. Thérèse looks like she is on autopilot like she is so used to being this man's pillow and taking care of him. It makes you so mad that she has gotten accustomed to this treatment. 

She looks down at him. “Are you warm enough?” She pauses to bend down a bit “Camille?”

He is already out like a light so you shush her to keep from waking him happy to have a break from him. You take the opportunity to softly caress her leg that is nearest to you. You move your hand up needing to feel her, be close to her. You need to feel grounded because you are full of anxious nerves. 

Her gaze snaps to you in a wide eyed shock. “Don’t.”

You pause. “I need to touch you.”

You can read her body the second the words leave your lips she needs it too. She bites her bottom lip as you take off her shoe and caress her foot and up her leg. You lean over and kiss her ankle. 

She sighs and you just know her lips are parted and her eyes are wide with that face she makes when she is anticipating your next move.

“Oh my God.” She whispers.

You glance up at her. 

“Look. There, clomping through the leaves.”

You sit up and turn to look where she is. You sigh as you see the domino game night gang walking about coming toward you. You rush to stand and brush leaves off of you as they wave and shout. They approach and Thérèse shushes them. 

Suzanne looks at Thérèse, “What happened to you to your foot?”

Thérèse is quick with a lie "Blister."

She looks at her with a pout “I got one, too.” She turns to her husband “I told you this walk was too far.”

He rolls his eyes at her “Well, we’re leaving now, aren’t we darling?”

She sighs “Without doing a single thing we came to do.”

He sounds even more annoyed as he leans into her space. “If you want to rent a boat, Suzanne and row out into the fading light be my guest. I’m going home.”

He treks past leaving her standing there and you can’t help but shake your head at the ridiculous man. 

Suzanne leans toward Thérèse. “Can I tell you something, Thérèse?”

Thérèse looks up with a nod. And Suzanne continues “All men are pigs.” 

She stomps off after her husband and Grivet sighs. “Why can’t you two be civil to one another?”

They all wonder off arguing about renting a boat or not and you look to Thérèse with a sly smile. “All men are pigs. I agree.”

“You won’t turn into a pig once you pretend to be a man will you?”

You shake your head. “I could never.”

You wander to the docks after Camille awakes and of course Camille yammers on about boats and water and how he is terrified of water, a fact you already knew and the reason you are out here today. You also know he can’t swim and that is essential to the plan. 

You help him into the boat “Sit down, Camille. Don’t stand in the boat.”

You turn to Thérèse and she looks nervous. She knows how to swim but is not confident in her skills. You have reassured her that you won't let anything happen to her but it seems she needs a bit more reassurance now. 

Camille continues to yammer on to himself so you whisper to Thérèse. “I love you.”

She grabs your hand and gets in the boat whispering back “I love you.”

You adjust and sit in the centre grabbing the paddles and begin to row out. You paddle far off to the side less taken due to the stronger currents of water. Camille is distractedly looking forward to the setting sun and leaning over to touch the water. You nod at Thérèse and mouth the word “Now.”

Her gaze is full of fright but you nod again and she leans over the opposite side as Camille to touch the water and then hoists herself overboard with a scream and loud splash. Camille turns, gripping the sides of the boat in terror. “I can’t swim! Lauren, save her!”

You nod and jump into the water destabilising the boat. It tips over dumping Camille into the water. He screams and panics to hold onto the edge of the boat. You swim after Thérèse going under water and grabbing her. You swim together disappearing around the bend in the river. You come up behind some overgrown shrubbery that falls into the water. She takes in a large breath as you both come up. She has a death grip on you and you help pull her up onto the bank, her dress heavy and weighing her down. You help her strip it off, being sure to tear it, throwing a few pieces into the water. You throw off your vest and skirt as well, tearing them up. Just beyond this bend the water picks up pace and there are rocks and a few deep pools of water. With the setting sun your hope is they will find pieces of your clothes and assume the worst. When they search for your bodies they will struggle to search and possibly just give up and call you both dead. 

You can both hear Camille screaming for help and other voices far off in the distance. You move quickly now changing your clothes from the bag you had hidden here in preparation. You dress as a man and Thérèse dresses in a much more simple dress than the one she came in. You sneak out of the park in a rush and make it unseen.   

The plan is working. The two of you just have to make it to the train station. You have all your money and the little Thérèse has been able to hide away. It's enough to live a peaceful life far away from both your pasts. 

Thérèse stays quiet. She is excited but you can tell she's full of nerves. You squeeze her hand and she leans into you. 

You make it to the train station with time to spare. You grab some snacks at the little shop attached to the train station and sit on a bench. There were not many people at this late hour and that was part of the plan. The sun has set and the search for your bodies has probably been abandoned with the fleeting light. The people waiting for this late train are like you running or hiding from something. No one chooses the night train if they can help it. You snack on the peanuts, candies, and bread. A rather sad dinner but it will hold you both over. 

Thérèse has clung to your side and stayed rather quiet. You watch her carefully worried she might change her mind or panic. You feel on the verge of panic yourself, the adrenalin is wearing off and you are starting to worry and exhaustion is settling in your bones. 

When the train arrives you give Thérèse an encouraging squeeze of the hand as you board. You sat in the front and waited anxiously for the train conductor to come by and check your tickets and papers. 

You both hold your breath anxious to see if your new identities will hold up. Your breasts are bandaged down and the suit you wear has not gotten you any second glances like your old wardrobe did. You are confident in your deeper voice and the friend who forged your papers but you can't help but be nervous. 

The conductor takes your papers and reads over them. He glances at you both and smiles. "Evening Mr. And Mrs. Lister."

You both give a polite smile to the conductor. "Evening."

He punches holes in your tickets and hands back your papers. You both let out quiet sighs of relief and turn to Thérèse. "How does it feel to be Mrs. Lister?" 

Her lips tug upward and you can't help but smile back "Well, we haven't gotten a chance to truly consummate this Marriage Mr. Lister. You haven't even kissed me Laurent."

She makes sure to put emphasis on the t as she pronounces your new name.

Your smile shifts into a smirk. Heat pools low at the way she says your new name. You follow suit and put emphasis on the a in her new name. "Mmm Thérèsa." 

You lean in and softly capture her lips. She bites at your bottom lip softly and pulls away. "Later."

You peck her lips quickly. "Mmm hmm."

>>>>

Exhaustion settles in and you fight sleep until you no longer can you both nap off and on through the long ride. 

Morning stirs as the train continues on. The train has a food cart so you make a trip to get some pastries and coffee. 

You both eat soaking up the sunshine beaming in through the windows. The world seems brighter the farther you get from the cold dark dungy city. The freedom is warm on your skin and fills you with joy like you have never known. You can see the peaceful bliss across Thérèsa's face. 

Everything feels good. You think that maybe just maybe things will be good. 

>>>>

You arrive in the far off village of your new home. A delicate little cottage with a flowery garden surrounding it that is on the outskirts of the village. It's private and bright. Sweet flowery scents and chirps of birds.

When you take it all in you can see your future here.

The cottage itself is small and cosy. It has a cute little spare room that you can transform into a library and office to write more books in. 

The garden is perfect for Thérèsa's hopes to grow different flowers and fruits and vegetables to sell some in the village and help you live comfortably. 

Smiles are shared and you know you both will love it here. You turn to her and wrap her in a hug. She squeals as you lift her up into your arms bridal style and carry her into your cottage. You carry her to your new shared bed where you get to have her forever all to yourself. 

You stand and slowly start to unbutton the suit you're wearing. She bites her bottom lip and pulls herself up to help you from the edge of the bed. 

She exposes you fully before she lets you start to remove her dress. Her emerald gaze scans your entire body. 

She looks at you like you like no one else ever has. There is a softness and yet a hunger and the love shining brightly in her eyes has your knees weak. 

You move closer and slowly unbutton the blouse top to her dress. You peel the fabric away and make her turn away from you so you can remove her corset. You kiss her shoulders. "I don't think you should wear this awful thing anymore, at least not here at home."

"Mmm hmm. I'm sure you'd rather I wear nothing here at home."

"That would be ideal."

"Maybe for you but I'd get cold." 

"No, I wouldn't allow it. I'd keep you warm."

You wrap her up in your arms as you remove the last part of the top half of her dress. She turns in your arms and captures your lips. You move your hands to the skirts and remove the last of the material between you. Her skin on display is something you hope you never get used to. It's breathtaking. She has the softest skin that's just dusted with freckles. You take your time soaking in every inch of her exposed skin the way her muscles flex as she moves to lay down. 

You slowly climb onto the bed and slot your legs together as you lower yourself onto her. She pulls you down fully by your shoulders and captures your lips with an inpatient urgent need. You match her urgency, but only for a moment. You pull back trying to slow the kisses down. You want her so badly but you don't want to rush a thing. This is the first time you don't have to worry about being caught. She whimpers and grips your shoulder desperate to have you closer than close. She moans when you let more of your body weight settle atop her. 

You move your hips against her and feel her slick heat spread across your thigh and you adjust so you can get the same friction against her. She lets out a breathy moan as she feels how hot and wet you are for her. She moves her hands to your ass and pulls as she bucks her hips up against you. A dance of pulling and pushing of hips warms both of your skin. You burn with passion and feel how heated her entire body is for you. She moans biting her lip like she always does to keep herself quiet. “Louder, I want to hear everything.” 

The sound of her free unsuppressed moans sends shivers down your spine and makes you groan against her neck. She feels so good and sounds like music to your ears. You know she is close as her eyebrows crease and her mouth opens more moans falling from her kiss bruised lips. You can feel your own pleasure building to that familiar crescendo. She racks her blunt nails down your back as she screams out and the sting sends you following her over the edge.   

You collapse beside her and pull her into kissing all the exposed skin available. You both sigh happily. 

You have finally found a home in her and she finally feels loved and free. You both are excited to start the rest of your lives together here. 

AN: I hope you all enjoyed this GAY version of ‘In Secret’! I have been going through it and working on this one for a while. I am sorry I can never keep a posting schedule. Anyway, I appreciate interactions of any kind. I just love to talk about my obsession with the incredible talent that is Elizabeth Olsen or any badass Ladies really! 

[ghostoftheyear]

What is DRAMAtical Murder?

I’m actually a little surprised to be writing this myself, in the year of our lord 2023, but why not? I didn’t know about it myself until recently, and now that it’s available with an official English translation, it’s a lot more accessible.

First of all, DRAMAtical Murder (or DMMd for short) is a visual novel that came out in 2012 in Japan. It was published by Nitro+CHIRAL, features art by Honyarara, and has some amazing music as well (the theme song is by Goatbed, with ending songs by them, Itou Kanako, VERTUEUX, and Seizi Kimura). It is a boys’ love or BL visual novel, probably the softest of the Nitro+CHIRAL titles; since its publication, it has received several additional pieces of media: a fandisk (Re:Connect), a sanitized version for the PSVita (Re:Code), and even an anime which... is certainly one way to get into it.

In 2021, Jast Blue made an official translation which was released both on Steam (censored) and their own website (uncensored). A patch is available on their website to restore the uncensored content for those who purchased it on Steam, which still allows the player to receive all the achievements. There was also a fan translation lovingly created many years ago, and the controversy over which version is better rages on. I won’t comment about it here; just know that whichever version you prefer, that is your right.

But what is DMMd about? Well... this is gonna get long, so let’s buckle in.

DMMd is set in a near-future cyberpunk setting, generally positive and colorful rather than dystopian. The story takes place on an island off the coast of Japan, Midorijima (literally “green island”), where many of the residents have been forced off the island due to the building of a gigantic sort of adult playground, Platinum Jail, where the rich and elite party like there’s no tomorrow. The remaining residents of the island live in what’s left of the city, though the owner of Platinum Jail, Tatsuo Toue, seems to be trying to grasp the remaining land as well for his own purposes.

Some of the residents have taken to forming gangs called Ribstiez, which control different parts of the Residential District. Others play a virtual game called Rhyme that takes place entirely within the players’ minds. This is facilitated through the use of Allmates, small robotic creatures that can look like anything the user desires and have multiple functions -- some manage social media, some help their owners with their daily schedules, etc.

Our protagonist is the young man known as Aoba Seragaki.

Aoba, 23 years old and single at the start of the game, works at Heibon Junk Shop. He is demonstrated to have an unusually persuasive voice when he chooses to, but -- aside from that, and his hair having sensation in it -- he seems to be an ordinary young man just trying to live a simple life. He lives with his grandmother, Tae, as his parents left Midorijima when he was young, and he has an Allmate: a small, fluffy, blue dog resembling a Japanese Spitz, named Ren.

Aoba has four potential love interests (plus a secret one whose route is unlocked as you play through the others’ routes).

First up is Koujaku.

Koujaku is an old childhood friend of Aoba’s. He had to leave the island when they were young, but came back around three years prior to the start of the story. He leads the Ribstiez gang known as Beni-Shigure and has a red sparrow Allmate named Beni. To supplement his income, he works as a wandering hairdresser and sets up on the street to cut hair. He and Aoba have a comfortable friendship that gets tested in his route.

Next, we have Clear.

Clear is a mysterious stranger who literally falls out of the sky the first time he and Aoba meet. He refers to Aoba as “Master” and refuses to take his gas mask off under any circumstances. To say any more about him would spoil literally his entire route.

Next up is Noiz:

Noiz appears first when he challenges Aoba to a match in Rhyme, insisting that Aoba is an old player of the game despite the fact that Aoba doesn’t remember ever having played Rhyme in the past. Noiz is part of a Rhyme gang known as the Ruff Rabbitz, and his Allmate is a small black-and-green cube called Usagimodoki. It’s entirely possible he has several of them, since they can be seen hanging in chains from his belt. Noiz works as an information broker to earn an income on Midorijima, but he’s not originally from there, as we learn on his route.

Finally, we have Mink.

Mink is a complicated character, as he doesn’t speak too much and when he does, it tends to be in riddles. He’s also not originally from Midorijima; while it’s not specified, his aesthetic is very much Native American. He has a pink cockatoo Allmate who is not named during the main game. Mink runs a Rib gang called Scratch made up of escaped convicts. His reasons for wanting Aoba on his side are his own, only revealed far into his route. His is the darkest of the routes, and I would say a trigger warning is in order for this one.

As for the final love interest, I won’t talk about it here. More fun to find out for yourself, right? Just remember: there’s some weird shit in this game.

Lest I forget, I must mention some other important characters. First up, Aoba’s friend Mizuki.

Mizuki runs the largest Ribstiez gang on Midorijima, Dry Juice. He’s a tattoo artist and owns a combination tattoo parlor and bar, the Black Needle.

There’s also Virus and Trip.

Virus and Trip (who are emphatically not twins) are a pair of yakuza who seem to show up a lot around Aoba. They claim to be his biggest fans.

Of course, there’s also Tae, as well as Aoba’s boss Haga (who has a robotic Allmate named Junker), Yoshie (who runs a courier service and owns a sleek dog Allmate, Clara), and a trio of young siblings who torment Aoba at his work - Mio, Nao, and Kio. In addition, one of the most corrupt cops on the island, Akushima, regularly pops up to bother the characters.

As the common route progresses, Aoba learns more about himself and his past -- and realizes he has to stop what’s happening before it’s too late. He eventually heads into Platinum Jail no matter which love interest’s route is chosen; the events that unfold change depending on which route you’re on, but playing through all of them and unlocking the secret route will finally reveal the truth of it all.

Re:Connect, as befits a fandisk, explores more with each of the love interest routes after their good endings (and also a bit more of the bad endings). It also has a route specifically to fill in Aoba’s backstory and youth. Re:Code is basically the same game, but sanitized -- all of the sex scenes were removed and given “cleaner” CGs. It did add a route for Mizuki, which involved more of Aoba’s backstory. Finally, the anime was passable, though it compressed all the love interests’ stories into an episode each and went with the secret route for the ending. It is absolutely unwatchable in dub, except for laughs and memes. Re:Connect can be found and played with the fan translation online, and is absolutely worth locating. Re:Code, unfortunately, is still only available to play on the PSVita and has not been translated at all.

Oh, and there was also a stage play! Remarkably, they produced a butai in 2019, well after the games had come out, with the different love interest routes portrayed on alternate days. I would be happy to make a post babbling about that if there’s interest. Apparently the original run did well enough that a new production was announced earlier this year, which will be happening at the end of April. A new route was added for Virus and Trip, and the whole thing is supposed to be a “supercharged” version, not just a retread of the original.

OH I FORGOT there are also drama CDs that continued all of the love interests’ stories and had even more new music, as well as some other fun things like a special drama CD for the anime release, an April Fool’s game that basically parodied Mother (Earthbound), and manga. And there’s a webtoon now. And lots of merch. And figures. Basically there’s just a lot of fun stuff to find.

And that’s DMMd! I obviously love it quite a bit, but I certainly acknowledge that it has its flaws and difficult scenes. I’d still recommend it, though. I think the writing is very well handled and the sex scenes are hot as fuck.

[iero]

Hey!! So I finally had the time to sit down and listen to your favourite Foals songs and they're all SO good, I especially like In Degrees and Albatross!

In Degrees has such a pretty red tone to it tbh (I have synesthesia, that means sounds and words n such have colour to em—makes listening to music REALLY fun for the most part lmao) and Albatross is super fun and chill!! I also really like the instrumental bit in After Glow, it sounds SO pretty!

I think outta all of them my favourite's Albatross tbh. It's got a beat that's just really fun to listen to, and it sounds very starry and blue (synesthesia shit again lmao, that's a good thing, I love songs that remind me of the stars!)

Any other bands you're super into? I've got like. The WORST memory but I remember you recently said you liked Brand New (they're great despite the whole... situation. With their lead singer. eugh.) and judging by the url I'd assume you're into MCR! :]

Hi again! It's always such a treat to read your thoughts on what you listen to, especially for Foals songs. Both of those songs are my favorite(s) from them! Literally #1 and #2.

Red is my fav color so I'll take that for my favorite Foals song! To be honest, that's the one that I associate with the pink of the album cover if I should choose a color to associate with it! That's one of my favorite parts of After Glow too. The way the song builds up to that breakdown is fantastic!

Albatross is super great, super underrated too also in my opinion! That's so interesting to me that you get blue vibes from this one! I always associate this one with, like, becoming one with nature, particularly a forest. It's always had a green color to me. I'm happy it could remind you of that though. That's awesome.

I'm a huge emo kid when I'm not listening to Foals LMAOOO. I listen to a lot of My Chem (you guessed right from the URL), Paramore, Fall Out Boy, Balance and Composure, Title Fight... Brand New is still in my library, yes, but I don't really go out of my way to listen to them since THAT happened. They'll always be one of my faves though, you're right! My whole music library is a giant clusterfuck pretty much! I appreciate you asking though and for sending this in with your thoughts! Hope you have a wonderful holiday! ❤️