#(has been losing it for two weeks)
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Soukoku as tiny forest creatures?
I hope this counts!!
#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bsd art#skk#soukoku#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#bungo stray dogs dazai#bungo stray dogs chuuya#my art#has it been a month since I last posted I am losing track of time#I started this like two weeks ago or wait…did I ask for suggestions two weeks ago lol#this is messy#i hope this counts though lol
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Idk man Faybelle and Bunny are such a compelling dynamic. Like what do you mean girl whose destiny is to not be invited to anything is rooming with girl who starts the plot of her story by leading the main character to the scene. What do you mean girl whose destiny is constantly trying to avoid being late meets girl infamous for the party she will crash halfway through. Also the fact that Bunny canonically takes care of Faybelle’s pomeranian, who is the only person/creature she will willingly admit to liking apart from her mom???
There’s just so much surface level animosity between them that’s undercut by a surprising amount of trust and care, how could you not like them?
#i’ve literally been losing it over these two if you couldn’t tell but THEYRE SO GOOD#and it’s all unspoken it’s all subtext and it’s driving me insane!!!!#add bunny’s relationship w alastair into the mix and.. aghhhh#bonus points if she breaks up w alastair cause she realizes she has a crush on faybelle#the week that faybelle gets together w briar#ever after high#eah#bunny blanc#faybelle thorn#bunelle#lost and found#also while i like them romantically they make one hell of a platonic pairing too
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Quick compilation to show that I'm, for all intents and purposes, still alive in one way or another, hi 😳
#ore no kao#you know it's been a bad few weeks when my queue ran out lol#sorry for being a bit MIA--it has been a week (plural)#work's been semi-stressful until i got mostly caught up last week and also started helping with a thing or two#so brain bandwidth had been running low for most of that 😅#cheekily cheery that it's the weekend hehe; gorging on a calzone and hawaiian slice as i type#[also re-watched Young Royals going into S3 and finished it last week and that was an overall solid finale]#keeping up with my jogs and even doing sunset ones has been nice with it getting warmer out; helpful for not fully losing it mentally lol#hope people are doing well! 🙂#fun fact: reading 'for all intensive purposes' drives me up a wall
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Girl if only you knew the Bigolas Dickolas Time War trend was inadvertently set in motion by a horror writer who loved that queer genre-bending book so much they made a whole shamelessly queer genre-bending podcast
#hfth fandom#this is how you lose the time war#bigolas dickolas wolfwood#this has been the strangest two weeks#tihylttw
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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!
#cats#holiday#OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few#days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart#rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart#so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag#and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day#last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few#hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent#ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect#because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make#me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these#'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a#few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is#getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better#and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo#I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c#Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after#like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was#doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally#ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully#whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos#ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely#though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart#stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive#things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***
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In reference to this post; I was gonna reply in the comments but once again, it got too long, and I figured I might as well make a brief post about this because shit's interesting but the OG post was getting so long I didn't want to extend it any further. So. New post.
But I'm also going to make this a lowkey follow-up to this post, where I briefly talked about whether or not Crocodile is worthy of a redemption. Because I did have multiple people reply to it, mentioning they don't think Crocodile needs a redemption, which isn't wrong. Villian redemptions come down to personal preference (some people like them more than others generally speaking), and the specific circumstances of a character and the story they go through. (Personally, I am a fucking sucker for a good redemption story, and One Piece? Has how many redeemed villians? Kuma, Hatchan and Bon-chan? Perona too? Buggy and Mr 3 if we're generous??? I'm sure I'm forgetting someone, but the ratio is quite low is my point) The reason I want to bring that up again, is that depending on what Crocodile's trauma really boils down to (**since we don't know for sure what it is**), it could go against the very core messages of One Piece if he just dies without that trauma being resolved. And at the same time, if his trauma is what I think it is, then he can not heal from it without being redeemed. And the opposite is true as well, if his trauma isn't what I think it is, then he doesn't need to heal from it, and he doesn't need to be redeemed. I do have a whole separate post slow cooking in my drafts right now so I don't want to go too deep into that subject here and now. But the point is. If we want Crocodile to open up and be vunerable and heal from his shit, it means he's either getting a redemption arc or redemption in death. The latter is way fucking sadder, but again, a whole separate post.
BTW quick apology but I figured since there's a bunch of shit in this post that I've written about separately before, I might as well link to those posts for like context, so people can get where I'm coming from with my nonsense while keeping this post brief-ish
BUT ONTO THE ACTUAL SUBJECT As I have kind of mentioned before, I do think Crocodile probably has multiple layers of trauma going for him
We know losing to Whitebeard Did Things to his psyche for certain
I think it's very plausible he might've been betrayed by his former crew if he ever had one
I think it's likely Dragon didn't take too well to him transitioning
And between that and Crocodile already having tried to kill Luffy multiple times, he probably believes his son would never accept him as his other dad, especially since he already hates him.
(And I do think it's likely he might have some additional early childhood trauma based on how Oda writes these things normally but whatever that could be is an absolute mystery)
And if I'm right and those are (some of) the different layers of his trauma, then for Crocodile to open up and heal from it you'd need to do it step-by-step, layer by layer
I think Luffy accepting Crocodile would be the most important thing, above all else. Because if Crocodile loving and caring about his son is the only shred of humanity left in him, if Luffy is the only thing Crocodile cares about anymore while believing no one else will ever do so for him, then having that feeling returned is the key to getting Crocodile to just start to heal. If his son can't accept and forgive him then what would it matter what anyone else thinks? In my mind, Luffy is The Sledgehammer that can break Crocodile's walls.
But that's the first layer, the first step to getting Crocodile to become vunerable
If he does have that betrayal-based trauma, then I think finding people who would actually follow him and be loyal to him would help him heal on that front. And... This probably sounds strange, but I think Mihawk is the best candidate for it. Not just because he could be to Croc what Zoro is to Luffy (in many ways), and not just because of the Romancing SaGa 2 comparisons, but because Crocodile does already seem to respect Mihawk on some level. Like he specifically invited Mihawk to start Cross Guild with. IDK if they have like shared history before or if it's just because they're Fellow Former Warlords or simply because he knows Mihawk is strong and in a vunerable position (after losing his Shichibukai Rights) or what, but despite Crocodile saying he doesn't trust people, he seems to trust Mihawk enough to invite him. And he seems to respect Mihawk's opinions on things, like he might view themselves as equals. So if Mihawk, The Greatest Swordsman In The World of all people, genuinely expressed faith and loyalty to Crocodile... Yeah, I think that would do a lot for Croc. Especially if Mihawk found out about Crocodile's baggage and chose to follow him despite/because of it.
But if we want Crocodile to Heal ALL THE WAY. He and Dragon need to have a talk.
Which will not be easy, considdering like.
Look at that fucking expression on the panel on the right. Dragon is more than likely beyond furious with Crocodile over what he did in Alabasta. And for good reason. And frankly, I can't tell if they can ever come back from that.
(Sidenote, but this page these panels are from (from Chapter 1058) follows immidiately after the page where Buggy introduces Crocodile and Mihawk to Cross Guild, Dragon's placement on the bottom right of this page matching perfectly where Crocodile was placed in the previous page. So considdering what Dragon says and the expression he makes... Man, if there ever was a way for Oda to tell us what Dragon thinks of Crocodile without explicitly having him say it, yeah, this would be it)
And I'm sure that even if Crocodile got over whatever heartbreak might've happened between him and Dragon and just moved on... The fact that Dragon never called Crocodile and warned him about their son being a pirate, with a bounty, who might be on his way to the Grand Line, where he could stumble his way to Alabasta, where Crocodile was famous for his Pirate Crushing Heroics mind you... Yeah. Crocodile would have a perfectly understandable reason to be furious at Dragon too. He almost killed their son without knowing because Dragon never warned him, never told their son's name to him, never told his OWN full name to Crocodile.
So needless to say.
They have a lot of differences to overcome. Things they've done that they'd both need to look past, forgive and forget. Somehow. And I'd be lying if I didn't admit I'd find it damn near impossible to happen.
But can you imagine, if despite everything, Dragon still loved him? And was sorry about whatever the fuck happened 19 years ago? And didn't want to lose him again?
I think that would be the thing that would help Crocodile heal all the way in the end.
If Luffy is the first step, then Dragon is the last.
#Moon posting#OP Meta#Crocodad#Sir Crocodile#Either that or Mihawk and Crocodile actually get together#Honestly doubt Dragodile will happen because. I can not imagine Oda giving us a canon gay couple#I would literally not complain at all I would lose my god damn mind (in a good way)#I just think Crocodile has too many deathflags (If Crocodad Real). Like he's probably going to sacrifice himself protecting someone else#Probably Luffy. Maybe Dragon. He's probably gonna die is the point.#It's more likely he dies loved and forgiven than gets to live loved and forgiven#But like I said that's a whole different post I've been struggling to write for almost two weeks now lmao#Mainly because the sheer amount of deathflags make me so impossibly sad I don't wanna pick it up again jdhgkfg
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the nhs loves to gradually publish every single one of your blood test results over the span of a weekend except for your egfr. this is because they are evil tormentors <3
#:)#literally keep getting another result and it's like. oh my blood count my hemoglobin my iron levels my electrolytes#like wrdgaf because the only one that matters is the egfr!!!#i desperately need to know if the kidney damage done by the biopsy has stabilized yet or if i'm actually fucked lmao#oh but on the upside i'm officially no longer anemic because the hormone injections worked way better on me than expected ^_^#they were supposed to keep my hemoglobin at a steady mild anemia level at best#instead i'm now firmly at the lower end of the healthy range. if you care <3#i also need the results in because once they come in that means i get two whole weeks where they leave me alone#which will be the first and longest stretch of time i've not been ferried to a hospital all year#need this transplant to take place sooner rather than later because i think i'm gonna end up losing my mind#oomfies please never get kidney failure it's the fucking psychological abuse trenches out here!
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Sometimes my brain gets the words "children" and "chickens" mixed up, so it ends up like:
Children (singular), childrens (plural)
Chick (singular), chicken (plural)
Then I have to sit for a moment and think about it and remind myself it's... not that hahah
#it doesn't help that my grandmother says “childrens”#one chick... two chicken...#one children... two childrens...#am i making sense here???#the insomnia has been bad this week lads#i fear i am losing it
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From (2022) - 2x03
#fromedit#from epix#from kristi#from marielle#chloe van landschoot#kaelen ohm#from 2x03#from spoilers#kristi x marielle#femslash related stuff#a couple of weeks ago I was thinking to myself that it sucks we have TWO of these stories#where the new side character f/f was so clearly temporary and in service of main character m/f#one of those has already done its thing but I'm curious to see how this will go#I was actually a bit incensed at krist's ILY to mari being so transparently for kenny's sake#as all their three demonstrative scenes had been so far#but this is finally just them#kristi being able to go to someone for comfort and it's mari#paralleled with ellis and fatima#where someone needs to hold a piece of you so don't you lose yourself#also people are beginning to notice and be interested in mari's arrival#on a plot level#the first time the town's reunited people#so I'm now I'm intrigued how they'll do this
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at this point i have to assume the ongoing chest pain is from living in this fucking house
#no apparent heart problem. if its somehow a muscle ache that has persisted >6 months#then its also managed to Not be from noticeable muscle damage while still lasting that long#and if its not the stress from being here then idk. cancer does show up in the family 💀#if it is just a muscle ache then i would like it to be over#but my god man. im gonna lose it#the problem with living in ur parents house is that they will make fuck ass decisions abt it#and u cant do anything Esp if ur freeloading lmao#maybe im just prone to stressing myself out like a fucking tarsir#*tarsier. but like goddddd#tfw theres a million unfinished and contributing things to a possible infestation#like. tell me why the bathtub has been unusable for probably a year now#and also theres a HUGE HOLE IN THE WALL WHERE THE EXHAUST GOES THRU!!!!!!#that they probably knew about but apparently didnt think was a concern#and when approached about 'hey i dont think (liquid) fumigation is gonna last if u dont fix this'#the response is 'thats why u fumigate every like 6 months'#NO??? FIX THIS FUCKING HOUSE?#AND THEN LIQUID FUMIGATION TOO???? AURGHHHHHHHH#anyways also have to assume its not like. actual physical environment problem#spent two weeks out of house and it persisted. but i suppose if its bad enough#it would do that...?? but then why is no one else in the house suffering -_-#either its extremely localised to my room or its straight up not that#dad keeps insisting its long covid. near as i can tell ive never caught covid#while its possible it was low/no symptom im relying on the fact that no one else got sick in the house#and when people get sick in the house i do test also. and its always negative. but who knows
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paper due in 27 hrs no figures made outline yet unfinished and dopamine levels are at ZERO i may lie back and sink down into the burning center of the earth as my skeleton is crushed by pressure unimaginable
#why! can’t! i do any of the things I need to do!#i need to go over some paper abstracts and I need to write my outlined methods section. but my brain is so understimulated it won’t let me!#willow’s life#sorry for complaining two days in a row I’m just. losing it#this project has been a disaster from the beginning and the only problems that’s even semi my fault is that I didn’t work on it last week
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ramble
#BARISI MERMAID AU#sonny being a mermaid in a beach and watches from the svu team from a distance drag a corpse to shore#the same corpse that sonny ended up finding by accident — because he didn’t realize he was swimming down the wrong stream.#until he bumped into it. ties it to a rock and waits for early dawn to hit pebbles at passerby's so they’ll catch sight of the body.#rafael catches sight of something in the water — sonny ducking back into the sea when the ADA points right at him.#sonny doesn’t see any of the csu or svu officers for the next two days. not until rafael is returning in the later afternoon.#eyes drifting across the sand — flickering to the sea. looking for something. or maybe another someone?#sonny decides to swim as close as he can. rafael picks up a broken shell. throws it out to the sea. nothing happens.#he sighs. rubs his bleary eyes and spins on his heel to head back home. a sharp spike of pain hits his skull.#he turns around — but there’s no one there. a perfect conch lays on the ground.#sonny gets the courage to introduce himself to rafael they meet often blah blah blah they get into an arguement#so barba doesnt come back for three days but then regrets it only to find out that sonny is gone and he becomes upset#meanwhile a week later sonny is arrested for public indecency because holy shit! he got legs!#amaro and fin trying to figure out who tf this guy is but he has no fingerprints in the system#or on his fingers. its literally purely smooth skin. just those wrinkles where you’ve been in the shower for too long.#amaro is assigned to watch sonny while they figure out where tf he came from because sonny does not know any english#besides coffee. because barba loved coffee. meanwhile barba is losing his fucking mind and sleep#amaro has sonny as his roommate for 2 months then finds out sonny knows barba when he sees him in the newspaper and starts screaming RAFA!#they reunite in the office and before they can kiss tucker comes in and suddenly he is speaking mermaid because tucker was#assigned to IAB by Poseidon to continue to keep mermaids hidden from the public eye. blah blah they kiss#valeress rambles#part 2 of this fic is literally intersex carisi and barba fucking this entire plot is an excuse to write intersex carisi#ok sleeping now gn
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extremely extremely worried about my dog :(
#shes been eating genuinely enough for two months and losing weight like crazy still#like. shes just bones its upsetting to see#she has skin issues shes limping a lot it seems specifically one of her paws hurts her or smth#she has like. diarrhea and stuff#and the vet said her liver is enlarged which. could mean some bad things#and i wont know until next month rly#like i wont even take pics of her bc its just sad to see how Extremely thin she is#she looks like shes starving but she literally eats#and even has appetite the last week like eats enthusiastically enough that i have to put her food in the bowl that slows her down#shes excited to go on walks#like idk what is going OOOOOON
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Val Is Pretty Sure She Might Be Losing Her Mind, more at 11
#okay so y’all. do you happen to remember Alcott Boy? the guy I had a crush on from school last year (or really the whole time I’ve been in#college honestly) who had Opinions on Little Women#yeah him. anyway I thought I was over my crush on him but GUESS WHAT it’s back and worse than ever#like I only have one class with him that’s once a week but guys guys I feel like I’m LOSING MY MIND like. I’ve never felt the urge to#actually go up to a guy and say ‘hey do you wanna go out with me?’!! like I would never actually do that but the urge is most definitely#there??? and it’s not even that he’s cute (although I mean I think he’s cute) but he’s really really intelligent and funny and very notably#always willing to bring up his faith in class discussions (and this isn’t really the campus for that) and I’ve always admired him for that#(this is also the boy that looked at something I wrote in fiction class and said ‘that’s it that’s what love is supposed to be like!!’ LIKE#) and I genuinely don’t know what to do#like should I be concerned that I feel this strongly so soon after The Boy?? should I be concerned that this might just be limerance???#my roommate has been offering to talk to him for me and ask if he’s single and is it insane that I’m actually considering it???#like if I’m going to now is the ideal time—I’ve already had my class with him this week and spring break is next week#and I’m certain he would never make me feel bad if he didn’t feel the same. but if he did wouldn’t he have said something by now? I don’t#know I don’t know I don’t knooowww#but I graduate in two months and I don’t want to regret it for the rest of my life
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#VENT#VENT TAGS AHEAD !!#so the job is...awful.#i applied for 20-25 hours#they asked if i could do 30#and now theyre pushing me into 40.#i didn't realize that when i agreed to 30 that was NOT binding (i should have known because it wasn't in my job offer. but i am 19 and--#ive never had a job offer letter before. even tho this is just retail)#and i can't adjust my availability for 90 days.#and since i put full availability expecting 25 hours max#now i have FULL 24/7 AVAILABILITY ON FILE for three months at least#and i have no idea what to do because this means i cant commit to any classes coming up for college#but ive been job hubting for months and barely got anything#and if i lose the job i have to move back in with my dad which is almost worse#whats wirse is my leader/boss is so mean. im not saying this lightly#i dont want to get into it but im barely a week in and he's made disrespectful and pushy comments towards me#has basically told me to stay late (which theoretically i cluld say no; but im still on my three months of 'we will fire you if we want to'#and like i said. need the job.#so he told me to stay late knowing i cant really say no#he's given me a frankly absurd amount of work (instock and i get carts filled woth 2-3x their max capacity unorganized and dangerously--#overloaded) and then he pushes me and snaps at me to get it done in an absurdly short timeframe while im still in TRAINING#im afab and present femme as i haven't transitioned irl and he is so ragingly sexist#he often just refers to me and the other girl being trained as 'girl' or 'that girl#and to top it all off#i took this job over a second interview at a place i really liked#because i thought the hours at this olace would be more consistent#nope! full time! surprise!!#and now im kicking myself so fucking hard over it. i feel like i fucked up so hard#and my friend i moved here with has been home for two months and will be this month so im just. alone. and i don't really have anyone to#turn to. im just so very stressed and tired and lonely
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life update for the lb: my oven broke today? sorta? it was broken. and then i thought i fixed it. and then it broke again. and then i think i fixed it again and it Seems to be working. but i cannot tell yet.
#sharks lb#it’s like 20 so she’s getting up there in age but i love her and there’s none other like her so i’m not giving her up easy#man i swear. life has it Out for me rn. car accident two weeks ago.#doctor wouldn’t refil medication i’ve been on for 15 years without an appointment.#got blood all over a different car seat in a different car.#and now my oben.#also now. the team. they’re all hurdt. and losing.
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