#(guess what I'll probably be doing tomorrow)
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sharing random details because why not
If you visited my wiki (which is still WIP and i'm kinda sick and busy to update it rn so pls be patient) you've probably seen this on Abe's page
Well you should know that Abe's obsession with living up to his clonefather's name is my roman empire and I just LOVE that, because Abe chose a great role model :) This is why I wanted to bring up this topic way more often in my comic, because this is pure angst material (and also extremely relatable).
SOOOOO about that so-called debate contest...
Of course Abe lacks charisma and attractiveness so nobody listens to him. YES, I MADE ELECTION BLU-GALOO BUT MORE DRAMATIC BECAUSE..... BECAUSE WE LOVE ANGST 😋😋😋 IT'S ENTERTAINING
ALSOOOO not only do other clones not care about Abe, but the shadowy guys as well (which is not surprising cus they don't give a shit about anyone in this place). They literally don't treat him like a human just because he is not as great as the Abraham Lincoln himself. They wanted to raise him to be a leader but they gave him anxiety, low self-esteem and a strange obsession :(
So yeah after some failures he tends to spend a couple of days in his room, crying to his Lincoln posters (fun fact some of them are ai generated) and literally talking to them because..... coping mechanism? 🤷♂️
I tried my best to add something but this sketch comic thing basically explains everything so okayyyyyy you got my point :з
I'm thinking about his character development in the comic, I want him to start loving himself, be able to defend himself and just FIND HIMSELF. Because OKAY you can't be THE EXACT clone of your clonefather, it's not the 19th century, but you're still a human, right?? So just be a good human!! :) You're already on the right path since you began to fight for your friends' well-being.
Omg wait i'm already talking to him in second person OKAY YOU GOT ME PLEASE READ EXCLAMATION!2080 THE THIRD PART IS IN PROGRESS BLAH BLAH BLAH BYEEEEE
#clone high#clone high abe#clone high au#exclamation!2080#sorry not sorry but i'm mostly projecting onto him#still sounds accurate?#WELL GUESS WHAT it's because i'm literally him irl#abeposting will never end so make yourself comfortable and follow me lol#if alek's not talking about abe he is probably dead#Okay i'm taking another day off tomorrow and if I'll feel better I'll try to update the wiki at least......#friendly reminder that i'm doing this all alone it's very hard :( this is why i ask you to be patient <3
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#manectric#i woke up at like noon today y'all i'm queuing this after work. i forgot about it all day and i was about to hop on totk#but i got the reminder to do it. so here i am. with manectric#el woowoo‚ if you will#a lot happened. yesterday. it was not a very good day. which is why i woke up so late. it was a little bit rough. but i guess it's a new day#so. it'll get better. planning on Not Doing Shit today or tomorrow to compensate for all the Bullshit that happened yesterday#hoping you all are doing well. one week from today (friday june sixteenth) i'll be hopping on a flight for the first time in 10 years#looks like according to the queue this will actually go up the day before we leave. so‚ to you guys‚ i'll be heading out tomorrow#which is scary a little bit. last time i flew i had no idea i was autistic‚ but now that i've come up with a lot of better accommodations#for myself and i understand myself a lot better and my needs‚ i'm realizing a lot of my accommodations just aren't gonna make it through TSA#plus it's a lot of unfamilarity with unfamiliar people and an unfamiliar environment which i feel like is gonna lend itself to sensory#overload like Immediately and i'm probably gonna get a headache bc that's how it manifests for me#so when we get there i'm probably gonna have to run to the nearest pharmacy. and grab some shit. which is annoying! so. i'm a little#worried. about the trip. NONE OF HTIS IS ABOUT MANECTRIC SORRY#this is a pokémon i have a hard time caring about outside of its involvement as the leader of the electrike in amp plains#that's about it#any tips from frequent flyers who are autistic would be greatly appreciated. not even just about flying but about like. going to unfamiliar#places on the other end of the country and stuff. i feel like that's what i'm most worried about even though i'm worried abt all of it#also hi i'm writing these tags from day-of. like the actual day this is going to post. me from a week ago sure did know what she was talking#about! anyway. i'm. gonna like. take my meds now goodBye see you all when this Posts in a few hours
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1/3 of the way done of this last page, then I can finally post it all o|-<
#blabbering#idk who even cares or knows what I'm talking about; but I just wanna talk about what's on my mind somewhere; even if it's to no one#I just haven't had much confidence in art or gaming prowess lately; but I'm still trying#I mean I haven't had much to begin with; but it's just tanked worse lately bc I'm probably just burnt out from work and need a break#I just wanna do fun stuff with friends; but I'm constantly plagued with conflicting schedules (aka the quintessential adult experience lol)#but at least after I'm done this thing I meant to do simply and quickly (but wound up taking way longer than I thought) I'll be happy#i just can't make myself really do anything else until it was done bc it would keep looming over my head and I need it done for reasons#at least tomorrow is a nice short day in the timeframe I like; so I'll be in higher spirits#lol sorry I've been complaining so much lately alskjdflsf. I just don't have anyone to talk to about random stuff on my mind lakjdlf#anywho bed time and then short shift and then FREE FOR THE WEEKEND + Friday :catjam:#also I think I have seasonal allergies again (no idea what from lol)#and i also stubbed my toe multiple times last week and it's still a bit swollen and hurts to put pressure on one part (bone bruise maybe)#my life is an exciting adventure that's for sure (I guess yesterday absolutely counts for negating my sarcasm here lmao whoops)
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*Trigger warning for eating disorder talk*
I hate how whenever I eat anything my brain is like "You should kill yourself. Now." Like what's your fucking problem
#tw ed#it's like bitch the body needs nutrients to function. idiot. that's how flesh vessels work. what are you an alien?#but my brain is always like 'booo you are a disgusting ugly bitch and as a punishment you can't eat at all tomorrow.'#like...ok then. i guess.#the funny thing is that it's also like two people fighting because like i hate what i see in the mirror from both sides#like one part of me is like 'ahhh we are far too skeletal it looks kinda creepy and Not Good'#and the other is like 'wow ew we're so disgusting and big and our bones aren't visible enough. what would our family say?'#so there's like no winning at all because if i don't eat one side will get mad and refuse to look in the mirror#and if i do eat the other side will go into total hysterics and I'll have to sleep completely covered up and will have to avoid#all mirrors because it will completely distort our perception of ourselves and will claim changes that aren't there and it will#force me not to eat for a day or two and probably also to walk everywhere#it also sucks because i think not eating enough might be contributing to me feeling so shallow and fatigued and disinterested in everything#but i have no idea because I don't know how many calories I'm actually getting#and it's really Bad™ for me to count because I'm a little bit too competitive and my brain has historically always made it#a challenge to eat as few calories as possible. because I'm insane and treat literally everything as a competition that i have to win
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Getting into the "what if it never gets better" trap
#telling myself it's my med change that's making it so so bad#i will get through this haze i better not have fought this hard in vain#doing really really bad#i got better briefly! briefly!!#the general state of the world is not helping what is already a grrimmmmm situation#ill eat a klonopin & hope it resets me by the time i wake up#then i get some god damn healthcare tomorrow#what is the POINT of all this agonizing to get my brain a millimeter closer to 'better'#i am so fucking tired#i'll stick it out i fucking Guess#probably was smart of me to ask for all the potentially dangerous household objects to be hidden away huh#ggghhhhhhhhhhhhh don't go insane challenge#vent#txt
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Head in my hands wondering if I'll have to cut the entire Chume Labs section out because it's more suited to being a different chapter, but also knowing the next chapter can't have it either so I might have to cut it from this fic entirely aaaAAAAAAAAAA
#i talk#fic talk#I was thinking I could stay up a while and try to finish this chapter so I could maybe post it tomorrow#but this is really eating me up#On the one hand... a solely Fuga chapter would be great#on the other hand... this chapter is supposed to show their growth from Fuga to the Chume Labs era#(even if it IS 99% about Fuga)#because that's what the chapter's theme is about#Agh#I'll keep chipping away at things regardless#Anyways for folks who like numbers#so far of everything I've already written / edited I have 5588 words#If I solely make this a Fuga chapter there are 1135 words left in my draft#meaning the final total of the chapter will be around 7000 words more or less since I tend to add a lot more stuff when I'm editing#I've got 1870 words (approximately) written for the Chume Labs section#which means if I do the entire Fuga + Chume Labs part this chapter will probably be just under 10000 words#@ __________ @#Maybe I should split this chapter up and make the Chume Labs part an interlude#Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm#Or maybe I'll throw it in Chapter 4 after all. Hell I dunno#We'll see how I feel once I finish editing all the Fuga stuff#I'm pretty happy with the Fuga stuff though but oh boy did it kill me#I think the reason I'm waffling about the Chume Labs bit is because technically it wasn't supposed to be included in this chapter#I had the idea two (?) ish weeks ago and went ''Wait that's a great idea to add''#which is how 99% of my writing goes and is one of the reasons why everything takes so long lol#But anyways. Yeah it's looking like no chapter update today (or I guess tomorrow depending on your timezone)#Sorry guys!#But it's almost done
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Gencon is very busy...!!!
Ummmmm highlights of the day..!!!
I maybe bought 4 Naruto figurines. Thankfully not individually expensive (though perhaps a little expensive all together...) see I wanted Sasuke but I also wanted Kakashi and I couldn't have Sasuke without Naruto and well it would feel wrong to have the 3 of them without Sakura and so I somehow. Got all 4. Haha. I'll most likely post pics later, whenever I end up opening them. I'm still at the convention center rn lol
(Putting the rest of this under a cut bc it got a little long lol)
I was on the field of the Lucas Oil Stadium, aka the stadium that the Indianapolis Colts play at. I've attended all of One game here (not professional football, it was a high school game lol) so I've felt the size of it, but it's still fucking crazy being on the field. It's so BIG...... and obviously they've got the grass covered rn, but it's still pretty cool!!!
I maaaade dice!!! Pretty precise process it seems, & definitely would require a Lot of work (after the sanding and the painting etc etc). I do still wanna get into it, but if I wanted to spring for stuff like the vacuum chamber or the pressure pot...
Yeah, it'd get expensive. Add in the fact that I don't have a good place to do this away from the cats & it really is not feasible to start rn. But!!! Eventually!!!! I think I'd really enjoy it. I just need a dedicated workshop space where I can spread out without worrying about poisoning my cats lol.
Here's some cool game set stuff I saw in the event hall. This picture is maybe... hm... a fourth of the event hall? And then when you consider that the vender hall (connected to the event hall, though it's closed right now) is maybe 1.5 times as big as the event hall?? Give or take a little...
Aka just imagine booths upon booths upon booths... I'm gonna have to take a pic of it tomorrow. I was there too briefly to think about taking a pic. Honestly I maybe managed to get through like a tenth of the whole vender hall in an hour of wandering. It's fucking huge. And So Many Dice... I bought one set of 14 (I think it was) dice. Aka an extended set. And then I got a random set bag of dice (just a basic 7). And then a d20 with a cat on it. And a dice of LETTERS. Aka I guess a d26 (I totally did not have to double check that there were 26 letters in the alphabet)(I have 702k words written & posted to ao3)(😂😂😂 I'm very tired) but with letters instead of numbers. And it's glow in the dark!!! And I found some hxh buttons, and a mighty nein poster, and uhmmmm. A cute lanyard. And that's all I bought. Which really is such restraint for me. (Omfg I just saw a dragon cosplay)(someone just dressed as a dragon)
OH YEAH I saw a fucking. Persona 5 Ryuji cosplay. Hanging out with the biker lady from Durarara. Featuring the Ryuji holding her scythe hfksbfmd which was such a funny image. I was too shy to ask for a pic but just trust 🙏 i saw this
Anyways yeah the only real big thing I bought is the naruto figurines. I'll show pics later once I got the stuff again (I dropped it all off in the car earlier)
Omfg literally as I've been sitting here (on a bench at the side of a main hallway) someone stopped by and gave me a handmade bracelet !!!
DND's 50th anniversary!!! So cute!!!!
#speculation nation#not Too much anime stuff. tho i clearly found some stuff. no trigun yet unfortunately 😔#which i already walked thru the artist area (as much as i could)(i was getting a little stressed by how crowded it was)#so idk maybe i missed a booth or smth but it'd definitely be less likely to see elsewhere in the vender's hall#but WHO KNOWS it's a wonderful massive world in there.#im actually sitting outside it rn and staring longingly at the closed doors. tomorrow... i will be able to Actually peruse it more...#and i will quite possibly wear some ear plugs next time bcus i was getting Stressed Out!!! overstimulated!!!!#pulled in a million different directions!!!!! aaaaaaa!!!!#anyways yeah my events are all done for the night. just kinda hanging out now waiting for my sister's game to be done.#gonna collapse into bed as soon as we get back. so i should probably eat some more.#i had an overpriced and underwhelming sandwich. but there is pizza somewhere. maybe i should eat pizza.#i actually... still have the keys lol. from when i dropped the stuff off at the car earlier.#which is weird. I have the ticket to home with me. but i still wait. bc it would be a dick move to leave with them lol#and also. while i Can drive. i do not have my license. so that would be. a bad. idea.#my shoulders Huuuuurt but thankfully i dont have any combat classes tomorrow#hurting shoulders is more just from my bag bc my shoulders fucking suck. but it makes me glad i can rest more tomorrow.#oh yeah i did the sword knife and longsword today. might get bruises from that knife one. it was very focused on parrying#swords. swords. swords. swords. the longsword class made me really want to own a longsword. i dont own one. yet.#i could. i could. i could. sometime. eventually. i want a longsword. i think i technically just own uhmmm um um#a rapier? a machete? a uh. i dont know what that cheap anime convention sword is actually. OH YEA AND CANE SWORD#no longsword though. i really want to own a katana too. someday i'll own both. someday.#real swords are unfortunatelly really expensive. thats why i only have uh. uh. uhhh. oh yeah i do have those 2 swords from mountains trip#i dont really know what those are either. you know i really should know what bladed weapons i own. i dont though.#i own cool swords and knives bc oooh fun pointy things! wheeeeee!!!#i'll study up on it later. lol.#anyways i guess i should go look for more food. i have rambled enough. bye!
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I'm having one of those "I wish I could just be part of the Astral Express crew" moments
#rambling rambling rambling#i know being part of the astral express would have its own challenges and all but#sometimes i wish i could just be there and suddenly feel safe#i like everyone in the crew so much and I guess anyone in it can bring me comfort somehow so#I crave being accepted and I believe they would do it with no doubt nor hesitation#and my honkai s/i being probably the most similar to me s/i makes it even easierrr for me to wish to be there#because that's basically me#being there and being supported and living happily and having others to rely on nearby and being themself and being loved for it and and#and i want that#ugh the struggle#Welt pls come home#ive had a long evening and tomorrow i'll have a long morning idk what im saying at this point im just tired#i just wanna exist peacefully ig#no rush no judgement no negative expectations#also I wanna share blankets with March and Dan Heng#and Stelle too I love her but almost never add her in my imagines because I think I would join the crew before her soooo i havent thought+#much about meeting trailblazer and all of that as my s/i#I wanna be in the Astral Express so bad#I wanna look at the stars and share blankets as we continue our eternal travel#together#as nothing more nor less than family#im so tired#n is talking#vent#ig?#cw vent#tw vent
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well I can't fall asleep, and I'm loosing my mind. Cause it's half past 3 and my brains on fire. Well I've been counting sheep but the sheep all died, and I'm trying to hard but I can't not try.
#–way less sad by and#It's like 0:40 and I can't sleep#I have a test tomorrow#I didn't study#I was going to go over the material in the morning#But I probably won't be awake enough to#eh#I guess I'll fail#What can you do
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I've already settled on which poses I'm using for each of the drawings, but I figured I'd post the first-draft concepts I did while trying to come up with ideas, seeing as I quite liked some of them even though I didn't take them forward.
Incase anyone is curious, this is a redraw/revamp of an older set of drawings I did of the bad kids (+aelwyn) with various pride flags for the genders and sexualities I headcanon them as having :-)
#art wip#fantasy high#the bad kids fanart#not putting too many tags on this cus obviously this is incomplete#and i feel bad clogging tags#shall probably post some more wip stuff tomorrow bcs I'll be doing some colouring in then#edit: no fcking clue what happened to this quality lmao#the images on my pc itself are fine but I guess tumblr just hates me
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thought it'd be a good idea to watch an episode of Night Court while falling asleep (just one!!)
yeah no it's been 5 minutes and Dan is on his knees, begging. nope not a good idea!
#he's just so.#and#so.#!!!#just!#ugh!#stupid disgusting man (🤤🤤🤤)#and now Christine has compared him to a dog#ughghhh evil evil show#I need to watch the librarians again#but that would be even WORSE#because he's older and the video quality is good enough that I could actually see his face 😩#so no I cannot do that#(guess what I'll probably be doing tomorrow)#WHY is John Larroquette so hot. why. I don't get it (no I do I really do. but I wish I didn't)#and WHY do they keep putting him in these situations?? how am I supposed to watch this show if they make him do something incredibly#pathetic every episode? 😩#oh. yeah. right. its because it's. funny#haha yes of course I understand that. it's just funny. only that. nothing else :)#personal
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Sometimes i think I have a pretty good grasp on time and how I spend it and then I play video games and remember that I really don't know anything
#how is it already midnight? i just started playing earlier#tbf ibdid start at like 21.30 or smth bc work :/ but still that's two and a half hours! what? no!#anyway. very intrigued by mass effect so far#the characters are really interesting and the world building is so good? it's so big! amazing#also have no idea where this is going which is ideal :) but i do have two very favourable opinions#am not all that happy about the interpretation of the answers i can choose. sometimes shepard says things i really didn't want#but oh well. I'll probably get better at interpreting that when i get to know the character more#but also. i have work tomorrow morning :') so. sleep. i guess. but not enough#mass effect
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FUCK MY STUPID BAKA LIFE
#text#IT IS THEM . FAWK#I HOPED THEY WERE SERIOUSLY DROPPING OUT THAT WOULDVE BEEN SO FUNNY . FUCKKKKKK#okay. well. that's fine. i dont even care#i see ellen tomorrow i'll ask her what i should do .#and for now. i guess i'll write out my schedule for the week on my handy dandy epic whiteboard#and i'll listen to some music#and grab a snack bc i didn't finish my dinner#and tomorrow#tomorrow i will go to the campus center. see ellen#then i'll get water at the campus center#then i'll go back to my dorm UNLESS it's already lunchtime. inwhich case ill get lunch THEN go back to my dorm#then ill take a binding break and lie down#then class#then lie down again. maybe write. then dinner then.. beach probably yeah#and it'll all be okay
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attempt was made ! all replies will be queued and i think anything holiday related won't expire for me unless you don't want the ask answered. like last month ! they'll just go under the 'seasonal / holiday' title on my asks because the brain fog is real / life amping up so ! also i think mi.zuki is the most smug santa .
also this was last year but still . love reindeer mi.zuki and san.ta a.iba. in my post-canon verse (which is divergent) they're still partners but shared also with d.ate obviously ! i think people should give them a chance since a.iba is a very very solid support system for mi.zuki and mi.zuki keeps aiba amused and can keep up with her in her own way, it's one of the few good things i liked about a.ini. oh well sometime i'll talk about how important a.iba is to her ! plus, the unlimited psyncs are hilarious and show their bond and they bounce off each other's wit and chaotic natures honestly. or rather they bring out the chaos in each other. different bonds but no less important imho ! but yeah i'll post this again later uh...closer to the holidays i guess ?
#idk there's so much vitriol about her having a.iba like...ai.ba canonly adores mi.zuki and supports her even when#mi.zuki hasn't lost her eye . . . please let mi.zuki have some support....#it's not like she isn't being shared with d.ate still !#the bonds are no less powerful !#might do a few things but i'll def take it easy tomorrow bc birthday which i kinda....always forget is coming until it smacks me in the fac#𝐎𝐎𝐂 *ೃ༄ what looks gone but comes back even stronger.#who never got the parental b.ond canonly in a.i1 ? and a.iba always in every route is so fond of her sorry i'm just...sad#tra.shing mizu.ki bc she also uses ai.ba when i /know/ mor.e probably than mos.t as a mi.zuki writer like other mi.zuki writers how BADLY#a.ini is? is just not good. she's allowed to grow up. she's allowed to have a hamster support and partner with her and share her with d.ate#like i love everyone but her being only a roommate canonly is really upsetting in res route.#sorry sometimes i'm just like.....idk the double standards yikes#grabbing mi.zuki and ir.is and am.ame and ki.zuna in my hands#u deserve the world . . . oh grabs hi.tomi . .#i think some.day either d.ate retires and a.iba is the convenient family ai.ball she always has been for them or#mi.zuki if she gets an ai.ball i hope it's rabbit shaped she'd freak out lmao#or like clione shaped ???#rabbit tho . . .#also holding b.oss and ta.ma in my hands#ai1 may be one of my all time fave games but that doesn't mean i don't want mi.zuki to grow up and evolve i guess is my tag wall#like she will not be 12 forever.
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i just woke up but,
❤ this for a small starter / random ask.
#✯ — ѕeт 'eм υp ĸnocĸ 'eм down × [ memes ]#honestly i feel like shit today for some reason —#but what's new i guess#i'll also be doing these on elliott and will probably finish all of those first before working here#but if these don't get done today they will be tomorrow#but also promised some apex games with the comp group so probably gonna go do that now and get it out of the way
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argh...i got invited to a dinner party on 9/16. i don't know if i should decline because of rosh hashannah or not
#sasha speaks#it does sound nice but who knows if i'll have the energy to socialize after services...#it's for people to share their research in a low stress setting and get feedback either as prep for like a conference or something#or just for fun. and then dinner and socializing and stuff#which sounds nice. but. idk. maybe it'll be better for me to just stay home and cook a nice meal for myself and watch an opera or smth#then again is it sadder to spend the holiday all alone....i don't know. agh.#i wanna talk about me#idk what to do but i should probably respond to the invite#well...i'm meeting the host for coffee tomorrow morning. so i guess i'll have to decide soon#i'm not going to orchestra rehearsal the night before even though i won't be in services until saturday morning technically#but come on. i'm not going to rehearsal on RH. i'm making a nice dinner and lighting candles.
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