#(go read Unity of Magic)
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Wong never gets sick, except when Stephen does.
Wong working a full week of 12 hour shifts in the infirmary during flu season because Jio's sick? Not even a sniffle.
The moment Stephen gets sick and so much as sneezes within three feet of Wong's general vicinity? Immediately sick, quarantined, and MIA for two full weeks.
#stephen strange#doctor stephen strange#wong#wongstrange#wong x strange#doctor strange#headcanon#Jio (OC)#Jio belongs to @invye#(go read Unity of Magic)#character headcanons#doctor strange headcanons#sick#illness#kamar taj#it's so funny to me#Wong just. doesn't get sick#he's invincible#and then Stephen comes along and Wong is immediately effected#forget love at first sight#it's getting sick at the first touch#Wong gets sick just looking at Stephen#and of course Kamar-Taj doesn't function when Wong's sick
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Unity of Magic - Chapter 26
Posted Chapter 26 this morning!
Lots and lots of magic lore here. Also answering the question just how much the Mystic Order knows about the Darkhold...
Welcome to Kamar-Taj, Wanda and Vision, you'll leave with your lives changed forever.
#Unity of Magic#wongstrange#wandavision#oh how amazing wanda could have been if the sorcerers had simply shared some knowledge with her...#also Mind Stone meeting Time Stone? what could possibly go wrong. vision got this#wongrange#fanfic#read on ao3#doctor strange#stephen strange#wong#wanda maximoff#marvel#mcu
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Google’s enshittification memos
[Note, 9 October 2023: Google disputes the veracity of this claim, but has declined to provide the exhibits and testimony to support its claims. Read more about this here.]
When I think about how the old, good internet turned into the enshitternet, I imagine a series of small compromises, each seemingly reasonable at the time, each contributing to a cultural norm of making good things worse, and worse, and worse.
Think about Unity President Marc Whitten's nonpology for his company's disastrous rug-pull, in which they declared that everyone who had paid good money to use their tool to make a game would have to keep paying, every time someone downloaded that game:
The most fundamental thing that we’re trying to do is we’re building a sustainable business for Unity. And for us, that means that we do need to have a model that includes some sort of balancing change, including shared success.
https://www.wired.com/story/unity-walks-back-policies-lost-trust/
"Shared success" is code for, "If you use our tool to make money, we should make money too." This is bullshit. It's like saying, "We just want to find a way to share the success of the painters who use our brushes, so every time you sell a painting, we want to tax that sale." Or "Every time you sell a house, the company that made the hammer gets to wet its beak."
And note that they're not talking about shared risk here – no one at Unity is saying, "If you try to make a game with our tools and you lose a million bucks, we're on the hook for ten percent of your losses." This isn't partnership, it's extortion.
How did a company like Unity – which became a market leader by making a tool that understood the needs of game developers and filled them – turn into a protection racket? One bad decision at a time. One rationalization and then another. Slowly, and then all at once.
When I think about this enshittification curve, I often think of Google, a company that had its users' backs for years, which created a genuinely innovative search engine that worked so well it seemed like *magic, a company whose employees often had their pick of jobs, but chose the "don't be evil" gig because that mattered to them.
People make fun of that "don't be evil" motto, but if your key employees took the gig because they didn't want to be evil, and then you ask them to be evil, they might just quit. Hell, they might make a stink on the way out the door, too:
https://theintercept.com/2018/09/13/google-china-search-engine-employee-resigns/
Google is a company whose founders started out by publishing a scientific paper describing their search methodology, in which they said, "Oh, and by the way, ads will inevitably turn your search engine into a pile of shit, so we're gonna stay the fuck away from them":
http://infolab.stanford.edu/pub/papers/google.pdf
Those same founders retained a controlling interest in the company after it went IPO, explaining to investors that they were going to run the business without having their elbows jostled by shortsighted Wall Street assholes, so they could keep it from turning into a pile of shit:
https://abc.xyz/investor/founders-letters/ipo-letter/
And yet, it's turned into a pile of shit. Google search is so bad you might as well ask Jeeves. The company's big plan to fix it? Replace links to webpages with florid paragraphs of chatbot nonsense filled with a supremely confident lies:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/14/googles-ai-hype-circle/
How did the company get this bad? In part, this is the "curse of bigness." The company can't grow by attracting new users. When you have 90%+ of the market, there are no new customers to sign up. Hypothetically, they could grow by going into new lines of business, but Google is incapable of making a successful product in-house and also kills most of the products it buys from other, more innovative companies:
https://killedbygoogle.com/
Theoretically, the company could pursue new lines of business in-house, and indeed, the current leaders of companies like Amazon, Microsoft and Apple are all execs who figured out how to get the whole company to do something new, and were elevated to the CEO's office, making each one a billionaire and sealing their place in history.
It is for this very reason that any exec at a large firm who tries to make a business-wide improvement gets immediately and repeatedly knifed by all their colleagues, who correctly reason that if someone else becomes CEO, then they won't become CEO. Machiavelli was an optimist:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/microincentives-and-enshittification/
With no growth from new customers, and no growth from new businesses, "growth" has to come from squeezing workers (say, laying off 12,000 engineers after a stock buyback that would have paid their salaries for the next 27 years), or business customers (say, by colluding with Facebook to rig the ad market with the Jedi Blue conspiracy), or end-users.
Now, in theory, we might never know exactly what led to the enshittification of Google. In theory, all of compromises, debates and plots could be lost to history. But tech is not an oral culture, it's a written one, and techies write everything down and nothing is ever truly deleted.
Time and again, Big Tech tells on itself. Think of FTX's main conspirators all hanging out in a group chat called "Wirefraud." Amazon naming its program targeting weak, small publishers the "Gazelle Project" ("approach these small publishers the way a cheetah would pursue a sickly gazelle”). Amazon documenting the fact that users were unknowingly signing up for Prime and getting pissed; then figuring out how to reduce accidental signups, then deciding not to do it because it liked the money too much. Think of Zuck emailing his CFO in the middle of the night to defend his outsized offer to buy Instagram on the basis that users like Insta better and Facebook couldn't compete with them on quality.
It's like every Big Tech schemer has a folder on their desktop called "Mens Rea" filled with files like "Copy_of_Premeditated_Murder.docx":
https://doctorow.medium.com/big-tech-cant-stop-telling-on-itself-f7f0eb6d215a?sk=351f8a54ab8e02d7340620e5eec5024d
Right now, Google's on trial for its sins against antitrust law. It's a hard case to make. To secure a win, the prosecutors at the DoJ Antitrust Division are going to have to prove what was going on in Google execs' minds when the took the actions that led to the company's dominance. They're going to have to show that the company deliberately undertook to harm its users and customers.
Of course, it helps that Google put it all in writing.
Last week, there was a huge kerfuffile over the DoJ's practice of posting its exhibits from the trial to a website each night. This is a totally normal thing to do – a practice that dates back to the Microsoft antitrust trial. But Google pitched a tantrum over this and said that the docs the DoJ were posting would be turned into "clickbait." Which is another way of saying, "the public would find these documents very interesting, and they would be damning to us and our case":
https://www.bigtechontrial.com/p/secrecy-is-systemic
After initially deferring to Google, Judge Amit Mehta finally gave the Justice Department the greenlight to post the document. It's up. It's wild:
https://www.justice.gov/d9/2023-09/416692.pdf
The document is described as "notes for a course on communication" that Google VP for Finance Michael Roszak prepared. Roszak says he can't remember whether he ever gave the presentation, but insists that the remit for the course required him to tell students "things I didn't believe," and that's why the document is "full of hyperbole and exaggeration."
OK.
But here's what the document says: "search advertising is one of the world's greatest business models ever created…illicit businesses (cigarettes or drugs) could rival these economics…[W]e can mostly ignore the demand side…(users and queries) and only focus on the supply side of advertisers, ad formats and sales."
It goes on to say that this might be changing, and proposes a way to balance the interests of the search and ads teams, which are at odds, with search worrying that ads are pushing them to produce "unnatural search experiences to chase revenue."
"Unnatural search experiences to chase revenue" is a thinly veiled euphemism for the prophetic warnings in that 1998 Pagerank paper: "The goals of the advertising business model do not always correspond to providing quality search to users." Or, more plainly, "ads will turn our search engine into a pile of shit."
And, as Roszak writes, Google is "able to ignore one of the fundamental laws of economics…supply and demand." That is, the company has become so dominant and cemented its position so thoroughly as the default search engine across every platforms and system that even if it makes its search terrible to goose revenues, users won't leave. As Lily Tomlin put it on SNL: "We don't have to care, we're the phone company."
In the enshittification cycle, companies first lure in users with surpluses – like providing the best search results rather than the most profitable ones – with an eye to locking them in. In Google's case, that lock-in has multiple facets, but the big one is spending billions of dollars – enough to buy a whole Twitter, every single year – to be the default search everywhere.
Google doesn't buy its way to dominance because it has the very best search results and it wants to shield you from inferior competitors. The economically rational case for buying default position is that preventing competition is more profitable than succeeding by outperforming competitors. The best reason to buy the default everywhere is that it lets you lower quality without losing business. You can "ignore the demand side, and only focus on advertisers."
For a lot of people, the analysis stops here. "If you're not paying for the product, you're the product." Google locks in users and sells them to advertisers, who are their co-conspirators in a scheme to screw the rest of us.
But that's not right. For one thing, paying for a product doesn't mean you won't be the product. Apple charges a thousand bucks for an iPhone and then nonconsensually spies on every iOS user in order to target ads to them (and lies about it):
https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar
John Deere charges six figures for its tractors, then runs a grift that blocks farmers from fixing their own machines, and then uses their control over repair to silence farmers who complain about it:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/05/31/dealers-choice/#be-a-shame-if-something-were-to-happen-to-it
Fair treatment from a corporation isn't a loyalty program that you earn by through sufficient spending. Companies that can sell you out, will sell you out, and then cry victim, insisting that they were only doing their fiduciary duty for their sacred shareholders. Companies are disciplined by fear of competition, regulation or – in the case of tech platforms – customers seizing the means of computation and installing ad-blockers, alternative clients, multiprotocol readers, etc:
https://doctorow.medium.com/an-audacious-plan-to-halt-the-internets-enshittification-and-throw-it-into-reverse-3cc01e7e4604?sk=85b3f5f7d051804521c3411711f0b554
Which is where the next stage of enshittification comes in: when the platform withdraws the surplus it had allocated to lure in – and then lock in – business customers (like advertisers) and reallocate it to the platform's shareholders.
For Google, there are several rackets that let it screw over advertisers as well as searchers (the advertisers are paying for the product, and they're also the product). Some of those rackets are well-known, like Jedi Blue, the market-rigging conspiracy that Google and Facebook colluded on:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jedi_Blue
But thanks to the antitrust trial, we're learning about more of these. Megan Gray – ex-FTC, ex-DuckDuckGo – was in the courtroom last week when evidence was presented on Google execs' panic over a decline in "ad generating searches" and the sleazy gimmick they came up with to address it: manipulating the "semantic matching" on user queries:
https://www.wired.com/story/google-antitrust-lawsuit-search-results/
When you send a query to Google, it expands that query with terms that are similar – for example, if you search on "Weds" it might also search for "Wednesday." In the slides shown in the Google trial, we learned about another kind of semantic matching that Google performed, this one intended to turn your search results into "a twisted shopping mall you can’t escape."
Here's how that worked: when you ran a query like "children's clothing," Google secretly appended the brand name of a kids' clothing manufacturer to the query. This, in turn, triggered a ton of ads – because rival brands will have bought ads against their competitors' name (like Pepsi buying ads that are shown over queries for Coke).
Here we see surpluses being taken away from both end-users and business customers – that is, searchers and advertisers. For searchers, it doesn't matter how much you refine your query, you're still going to get crummy search results because there's an unkillable, hidden search term stuck to your query, like a piece of shit that Google keeps sticking to the sole of your shoe.
But for advertisers, this is also a scam. They're paying to be matched to users who search on a brand name, and you didn't search on that brand name. It's especially bad for the company whose name has been appended to your search, because Google has a protection racket where the company that matches your search has to pay extra in order to show up overtop of rivals who are worse matches. Both the matching company and those rivals have given Google a credit-card that Google gets to bill every time a user searches on the company's name, and Google is just running fraudulent charges through those cards.
And, of course, Google put this in writing. I mean, of course they did. As we learned from the documentary The Incredibles, supervillains can't stop themselves from monologuing, and in big, sprawling monopolists, these monologues have to transmitted electronically – and often indelibly – to far-flung co-cabalists.
As Gray points out, this is an incredibly blunt enshittification technique: "it hadn’t even occurred to me that Google just flat out deletes queries and replaces them with ones that monetize better." We don't know how long Google did this for or how frequently this bait-and-switch was deployed.
But if this is a blunt way of Google smashing its fist down on the scales that balance search quality against ad revenues, there's plenty of subtler ways the company could sneak a thumb on there. A Google exec at the trial rhapsodized about his company's "contract with the user" to deliver an "honest results policy," but given how bad Google search is these days, we're left to either believe he's lying or that Google sucks at search.
The paper trail offers a tantalizing look at how a company went from doing something that was so good it felt like a magic trick to being "able to ignore one of the fundamental laws of economics…supply and demand," able to "ignore the demand side…(users and queries) and only focus on the supply side of advertisers."
What's more, this is a system where everyone loses (except for Google): this isn't a grift run by Google and advertisers on users – it's a grift Google runs on everyone.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/03/not-feeling-lucky/#fundamental-laws-of-economics
My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!
#pluralistic#enshittification#semantic matching#google#antitrust#trustbusting#transparency#fatfingers#serp#the algorithm#telling on yourself
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PICK A CARD: What Will Your FS Admire Most About You?
⚤ “I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.” - Pablo Neruda
Disclaimer: This is a general reading, take what resonates. This is a gender-neutral reading, disregard any pronouns that do not apply to you.
p1 → p2 ↙︎ p3 → p4
✠ Pile One ✠ (King of Cups,Page of Cups,The World,7)
✧ Cards went wiillldddd. You stir up so much emotion in this person, it’s crazy. Your heart chakra is front and center here. You are picture-perfect harmony and universal love to your spouse. Your love can’t be contained, you love them, your friends, your favorite mug, worms out in the rain, strangers, the moon, and all the stars in the sky.
✧ All I see is a wide-ass smile, the biggest, wateriest eyes, and full cheeks. Your spouse thinks you’re sunshine-incarnated.
✧ This will sound corny, but your heart and love for the world and all its diversity make you appear angelic; God’s gift to humanity. The emotional depth you have is nothing shy of divine. Your ability to understand and reconnect your person with their inner dreamer makes you irreplaceable in their eyes.
✧ I feel like your future spouse had to navigate around a lot of emotionally stunted people who left scars that prevented them from forming healthy relationships. Your empathy and desire to make space for peace and unity in this world give them hope that true love is alive and they are the lucky son of a bitch who gets to call an angel, theirs.
✧ I smell salt and hear waves. (I bet you’re tired of the cheesy poetry but HEY, me and your boo are OBSESSED with your energy) You truly are as beautiful and powerful as the seven seas.
✧ You know the Ouroboros, and how it's sometimes depicted as a snake wrapped around the oceans, holding onto its tail to keep the world together? Yea, that. To your future partner, you hold the key to their world. You add so much color and vibrancy. You turn over their inner ocean and awaken so much repressed child-like wonder within them.
✧ Wow. Your spouse loves the depths of you.
✧ Check for water placements, signs, and houses, in your natal chart. Some of you have insane intuition and have clairsenses. Clairaudience to be specific.
✧ Some of you are active in charities or aspire to make a difference in society. Maybe you’re into esoteric practices or anything else metaphysical.
✧ I even have a few philosophers here. Okay, KANT! (somebody please get this joke)
She Excites the Seven Seas
✠ Pile Two ✠ (Ace of Pentacles,8oW,The Emperor rev., “I Want”)
I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me
✧ Of course, you don’t have to be a woman but that TikTok sound SCREAMED at me. Your future spouse is lowkey intimidated by you and they love it.
✧ You have big dreams. Big plans. But most importantly, a million and one ways to get you where you need to be. Your ability to say “I want this,” and then actually go out and GET it?? Your spouse is like the meme that goes “I’m a little scared, but I’m turned on.”
✧ I also see that you’re unconventional. If people have been doing whatever you want to do a certain way for years, you'll find ways to do it differently, just cause. You’re a true trailblazer. Your self-conviction is so damn alluring. Even for the people who struggle with insecurity sometimes, once you get over that hump and decide that you desire something, you fucking get it. Your partner sees you like magic. They are impressed by just how quickly your desires are set in motion for you. They feel that you are powerful and bring a great deal of power to them from just being in your proximity.
✧ You are also the “I don’t take shit from nobody” type. Not from strangers, not from your friends, your family, not even from your partner. In their eyes, you know your worth and have a strong self-foundation that nobody can tear down. There is genuine admiration and respect here. I even get the “I want to be like you when I grow up” mentality.
✧ There is a speediness to you they find very attractive. Either the way you behave, speak, or just stress about time, your pacing holds a special place in their heart. (or maybe, despite all of your responsibilities, you manage to find stillness in the chaos and slow down when necessary)
✧ The way you speak drives this person wild. It's like your voice narrates their thoughts and is the source of all of their arousal. Do with that information what you will...(don't be cruel, you make this person so nervous).
✧ I shuffled through a playlist and E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY LIFE!! by Corpse came on and one of the lyrics goes,
She just look into my soul with them Shinigami eye Coke in my nose and a blade on her thigh. Man, I think this girl is really trying to plan my demise
✧ Yea, you put the fear of God into this person, but in a good way! Your presence can be chilling sometimes. Fire energy for sure. There are definitely people here from pile 2 of my first pac, “What are your most alluring qualities?”, check that out if you want to.
✧ Okay, this energy has me needing to take a LAP, bye.
"Man, I Think This Girl Tryna Plan My Demise"
✠ Pile Three ✠ (10oW, 9oW)(no other cards wanted to come out, real stubborn)
✧ Okay so, this feels specific?... and maybe even a lil off topic but I feel called to say this
✧ I sense that you and your person are psychically connected and share the mutual feeling that the two of you are meant to cross paths. The both of you have gotten your fair share of fuckery in this lifetime and this union feels like divine justice.
✧ This sounds a little fucked up, but you guys flourish amid trauma. Dark energy alchmaziers. You best wield your potential while you’re going THROUGH it.
✧ You had to “die” and bury yourself a dozen times to get where you are today.
✧ You are a very evolved individual. Throughout your life, traumatic events and relationships have forced you to bear a lot of weight on your back and it’s like the pressure has forged you into a diamond. With each curveball life threw at you, you stood tall and pushed to make something of yourself, proving your worth after a lifetime of strife and instability.
✧ Scorpio/Capricorn and 8th house/10th house placements. (check midpoints).
✧ A lot of you have tense shoulders, upper back, shoulder, and neck pain from the unease and anxiety your body carries. You have insomnia and may even struggle with nightmares.
✧ This person you’re coming into union with is so healing.
✧ This is something the both of you broke down and prayed for on your darkest days. This is a true partner, the soul that kept yours warm when the world was so cold. You had to put your dreamier side on the back burner to survive. This person will make you feel safe to dream again.
✧ I don’t have anything specific to say because you and your person feel so secretive You two recognize each other’s pain and are the only people you guys trust. Like not even lil ol’ me can really get through to y'all. Y’all ride AND die for each other, in this life and the next.
✧ If you’re into astrology and already have a feel for who this person is, check your guys’ composite chart. Strong Scorpio energy here.
✧ Coming into union with this person will feel like a wish fulfillment.
✧ (short pile, it felt like a quick message for those of you who feel this connection telepathically. This is probably a secondary choice.)
"I Want To Caress The Piece of Me Within You"
✠ Pile Four ✠ (Queen of Wands, 9oP rev., 7oP, 4oP rev., the high priestess, queen of cups, “I will”)
✧ You’re a bad bitch, truly. Your fs isn’t calling you a bitch, buuuttttt she a baddie, she know she a ten! She a baddie with her baddie…. wait a minute…
✧ You may not have a lot of friends? You keep your circle tight-knit because you have been deeply hurt in the past and you guard your peace fiercely. For some of you, your home life was quite tumultuous and you struggle with financial security and inner happiness. It seemed like the world did not want you to feel good about yourself or succeed.
✧ Do you know that viral display of a deer’s ribcage with a spear through it, and how even though an attempt was made on the deer’s life, he managed to survive and lived for years after that event; all while still growing bone marrow with a giant fucking spear through its ribcage?
✧ “A close encounter with a hunter left the deer with several broken ribs and part of an arrow embedded in its body. Remarkably, the animal survived, and bone grew around the shaft and arrowhead lodged in the creature's side."
✧ "The deer lived with the arrow inside its body until years later, when another hunter killed the animal, cut the deer open, and discovered its amazing secret…As the tough tissue formed over the arrow, it acted as a splint for the damaged rib cage, strengthening the deer's injured body.”
✧ I highlighted some words that needed emphasizing. That’s how your partner sees you. They are in complete awe of the resilience and sheer tenacity you hold. They look at you and can’t believe the person before their eyes. The troubling history you usually try to hide from your romantic partners is exactly what allures this person.
✧ You won’t ever lay on your belly and cry about life passing you by. You aren’t the type to victimize yourself and “woe is me” your way out of self-improvement.
✧ You are quite ambitious and aim to push forward, even if the odds are stacked against you.
✧ I get the message that some people in this pile have struggled with self-harm over the years. Your partner wants to kneel down and kiss your scars like a white knight, and vow to protect you emotionally and physically for as long as you’ll have them.
✧ The spear-deer imagery is so interesting. The deer represents virality. It is a symbol of piety, gentleness, devotion, and fertility. Especially with the queen of wands, the high priestess, AND the queen of cups, you provide profound love, passion, and insight to this person. However, even as a deer, you are quite badass???
✧ You are as gentle as a strand of hair but as strong as wool. Dainty but unbreakable.
✧ They have no desire to infantilize you because they know you are already your own greatest warrior. But they don’t want you to feel that you have to fight alone. Whatever burdens are on your plate, they take away as much as possible because they want to be a piece of the paradise you fight for.
✧ This is meant to be a short pac, a Tumblr post won’t do the unbelievable strength in your character much justice. Just know that your fs is so fucking in love with you and wants to spend their life by your side because of just how awe-struck they are by you.
✧ I mean c’mon… will YOU ever forget the story of the coolest fucking deer in existence??
"I Yearn To Be the Name You Call Out in Victory"
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to the moon and back - jake sim
summary -> jake wouldn't call himself a christmas hater, but this year all this just doesn't feel right. until it does.
genre -> fluff, established relationship, christmas, lowk whipped jake
it’s not that jake hates christmas.
he really doesn’t, he has always been rather indifferent to it, passing the holiday by, letting it come and go, no big feelings, no attachment, no expectations.
this year, it’s different. everything that happens around screams about christmas, about happiness louder than ever and it annoys the shit out of jake. all the families in the tv ads meeting because of the exceptional occasion, all the people happily returning home and the people greeting the ones that arrive, it all makes jake sick.
because, while all the others are shoving their joy and unity onto his face, he can’t spend this special time with his favorite person.
you may call him a little dramatic, but this is the first christmas he has to spend without you in years and it makes him suddenly hyper aware of the situation.
he was always able to pass by christmas, because he had something, someone else to focus on. you would always find a way to come home despite your busy schedule, but this year you couldn’t. you are overseas and christmas falls right in the middle of your event, no way to take even a day off.
jake browses through the tv programs, finding only movies about holiday’s spirit and the magic of sharing it with relatives. he clicks the button on the remote control mindlessly, waiting for something that won’t blind him with the colors of red and green.
what actually lights up with a color of gray is his phone. he reaches for it right after turning the volume of tv down so a music program doesn’t bother him with carols.
the message on the screen is from jay, a friend of his, jake frowns as he reads the text. somewhere between the lines, what he understands is that jay wants to get him out of his house. jake snorts to himself silently as he types his refusal without hesitation.
when you informed him about your upcoming absence, jake firmly made a decision to simply stay home and ignore everything related to christmas, eventually facetime you and exchange wishes and ‘i miss you’s. it turns out not to be as easy as jake first thought.
he picks up the remote control once again to continue scrolling through the channels, but it doesn’t take long before another text makes his phone light up. jay seems to be really determined and jake would lie if he said he wasn’t getting curious. what was so important that jay even offered food in return?
after a moment getting the deal as beneficial for jake as possible, he eventually stands up from the couch, turning off tv and messaging jay that he will come. only then does he get the location and, oh god, he should have bargained more.
the place jay wants to meet him in is basically on the other side of the city and, as every year, on christmas eve there are no buses riding through the center of the town. he could take a bike, but he knows how much snow and how much people will be in his way. he sighs, putting on his heaviest boots. if he has already said he will come, then he will.
the way through the center isn’t actually so long, but at this time, it has to be busy. and if jake forgot about christmas already, everything around him would remind him and make sure the awareness doesn’t leave his mind even for a step.
the first thing he sees as he comes out of his garden onto the street is the house on the opposite side of the road. in front of it there stands a car, slightly tilted, with one wheel on a sidewalk. three people get out of it at the same time, enthusiast and eager to come closer to the door, dragging big suitcases behind themselves. they meet with the ones living in the house, standing now on a porch with big smiles and open arms, ready to greet them warmly.
jake's heart clenches at the sight. he can’t help but feel a sympathetic joy towards the reunited family, but his mind circles around the thought of you coming home and jake being the one to greet you with a tight hug. even if he has done it many times before, it still feels empty without the one that should happen today.
jake looks away not to cause himself more pain than needed and turns into another street, following the shortest way to jay's location.
both sides of the road are full of houses, all of them decorated with thousands of lights, colorful and bright. the irregular flashing of them and the range of colors feel like an eyesore to jake's irritated self. there is something hypnotizing in them in the worst meaning possible, that makes him observe the changes, until the small spots start appearing within his sight. he eventually looks away and blinking furiously, almost blinded, he bumps into someone.
that’s when he realizes he steps into the region where there are more and more people around, everyone cheerful in haste, on their way home or to some kind of group celebration.
he decides to take a different route so as to get quickly out of the reach of the sound and enjoy the silence once again. but it doesn’t last long before he finds himself in the middle of a fair. the loud voices are coming from every side, shouting about the things one could buy if they were more excited than jake. there are apparently enough takers, responding equally loud and clear to create a commotion, almost deafening experience.
what is even worse for jake is the amount of smells coming from the counters with homemade cakes and cookies. as soon as he senses an aroma of cinnamon enter his nose, he knows he won’t stop sneezing for the next couple of minutes. he has to get through the fair, weaving between the people, at the same time covering his nose, trying to refrain his reaction to next strong and prickly smells.
as he reaches the end of it and comes out onto an open square, he takes a deep breath of relief, the cold air tickling his throat. he feels how frozen his cheeks have become, a shiver runs down his back. he hopes jay is waiting for him with something really important because this whole trip has made him feel even worse than before leaving his house.
the square is the one jay has described in the message so jake doesn’t waste any more time and searches for this very specific location jay has indicated to him. the second building on the left, he murmurs to himself, recalling the instructions, not wanting to take his hand with the phone out of his pocket, exposing it to the freezing cold.
jake reaches the destination after a moment, spotting a person from afar. but the closer he gets to them, the faster he realizes what he has come to. it is not jay waiting for him.
“hi.”
your wide smile is the first thing jake recognizes and it makes him return it reflexively even before he fully understands the situation. he stops in his steps right in front of you, staring in shock and awe. in bliss.
“hi,” he answers under his breath and watches as you open your arms. jake doesn’t wait a second before taking his hands out of pockets and jumping into a hug to squeeze you tightly as ever, making you giggle.
jake moves away quickly as if to check whether it is really you, his y/n, here, right in front of him. when your eyes meet, jake's smile stretches even wider before he cups your face with his hands and pulls you into a longing kiss.
your lips are cold against each other, but this is what makes everything more real, more palpable. jake can feel your smile so close, he doesn’t need anything more.
in no time, you are on your way back to the apartment, jake basically dragging you behind, so excited and happy to be able to spend as much time together as possible.
the snow accompanying you creates a magical surrounding, making your walk more special and unique. jake admires the blush the cold causes on your cheeks as if it was the most adorable thing in the whole world. your hands don’t get to feel frozen as you hold each other tightly and warmly through the whole way.
you both take the same route jake had chosen earlier, even though now he wouldn’t complain if the road was the longest one. you walk through the christmas fair, all the smells now blending nice together in jake's nose as the strongest one, of lavender, is right by his side. also the shouting doesn’t feel so aggressive when his posture shields you from the half of the counters. he would even say he enjoys it, the sight and smell of different baked goods.
the singing kids sound nicely when jake doesn’t pay so much attention, letting them be a background music to your voice.
“arriving here at all is a challenge, not to mention doing it on time.” your free hand gestures vaguely as you complain about the schedule that barely allowed you to take a last-minute flight. you take a glance at jake before turning to the road in front of you again and smiling. “but the hardest was to keep it a secret from you.”
the kids’ voices let jake feel slightly less embarrassed when your words have such an effect on him, the possibility of blaming the creeping blush on a mood created by the song makes his life easier. and he knows you are aware of it, but at least spare him and don't mention it, not right away.
the crowd of people thin out as you move further and further from the center, your hands swinging lightly with a feeling of privacy surrounding you. jake turns his head to the side to look up at you, words on his tongue quickly forgotten.
you are watching the lights hung on the houses, your head slightly tilted back. all the colors are reflecting in your wide open eyes and jake can’t look away, can’t name anything more beautiful than the christmas lights. the christmas lights in your eyes. jake is hypnotized.
the most colorful street eventually ends and jake feels a little disappointed at it as your gaze drops from the decorated roofs and balconies to him. only then does jake realize that the way which you look in, hasn’t changed. you look at jake with the same adoration you were observing the lights, with the same stars appearing in them. jake feels his ears heat up.
you arrive in front of the apartment and before taking out the key, jake looks over your shoulder at the house on the other side of the road. there is no one there now, but jake knows the people inside are happy and together, emptying their suitcases and getting ready for a good time.
jake's gaze wanders to you to notice you don't have a big suitcase with you. you don't need much, all of your things are already at jake's. because you aren't a guest here.
you're finally home.
#enhypen#enhypen smut#enhypen fics#enhypen x reader#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen hard hours#enhypen au#jake#jake smut#jake sim#jake sim smut#jake hard hours#sim jake hard thoughts#jake hard thoughts#jake enhypen#jake x reader#sim jaeyun#jaeyun smut#jaeyun hard hours#sim jaeyun smut#sim jaeyun x reader#sim jaeyun oneshot#sim jaeyun one shot#jake one shot#enhypen jake#jake fics#sim jaeyun fics#jaeyun fics#jaeyun enhypen#jake au
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Okay I have had this theory for months but I never actually laid it out before now. However it's well past time I actually do that considering episode 115 all but confirmed its truth (theres still wiggle room for me to be wrong, but honestly not much)
THE FERIN FAMILY ARE AASIMAR, AND HERES WHY:
The thing that originally made me go Hey Wait A Damn Minute was the visions of the original prophecy and its history that gillion got from that tree: "Another flash, and you see these red-haired olympian looking humans and elves and all kinds of different races that are flying with their own wings". And I heard that and thought about how much that sounds like aasimar, and then the weird dreams jay had and then captain widow insisting she has powerful blood and then star saying she sensed divinity on jay and then the whole ferin family's affinity for fire magic and everything just clicked into place.
Then in episode 114 we got the recording of Faye Ferin saying "hail the solar mother" and i was like no fucking way- BUT i set it aside because it felt like I could be reaching with that evidence. It could just be a religious phrasing, not necessarily something literal.
Then episode 115 happened and I got confirmation of my theory.
Grizzly doesn’t outright say "yes the ferin are aasimars”, but he gives us all the last few pieces of the puzzle.
Here's a link to the episode that should start where the confirmation is - the two tablets: https://youtu.be/M9ig9XCUrvU?si=oYdisYFxTqx6ogbb&t=868
Transcript of the tablets: Tablet One: Shards of the divine, these words are for you and you alone. We are descendants of the sun. Thus, we are the light - the beacon that will eradicate the dark. We are the flame to which all will yield. We are the shining justice that will always prevail. Our steps illuminate the way forward and our hands spark the tales of history. Tablet Two: Shards of the divine, these words are for you and you alone. Know your kin, recognized by the manes of flickering flame, wings that rival dragons, the golden suns in our eyes. Unity is the key to prosperity. Our elders will raise generations that burn with vigorous radiance.
NOW ON TO MY EXPLANATION!!
The thing that confirmed it outright for me is literally the line "We are descendants of the sun", because there are no ifs ands or buts about it - aasimar are descended from celestials. The aasimar entry for Monsters of the Multiverse states "Whether descended from a celestial being or infused with heavenly power, aasimar are mortals who carry a spark of the Upper Planes within their souls." the tablet Jay stole from her grandmother is written in celestial, and says they are descended from the sun(aster), ergo, descended from a celestial.
Next up is the whole "Thus we are the light - the beacon that will eradicate the dark. We are the flame to which all will yield. We are the shining justice that will always prevail." bit. The entry for Protector Aasimar (the subrace i believe Jay fits best) in Volos Guide to Monsters reads "Protector aasimar are charged by the powers of good to guard the weak, to strike at evil wherever it arises, and to stand vigilant against the darkness."
Then there's "Our steps illuminate the way forward and our hands spark the tales of history." Which then in the MotM entry it says "aasimar are mortals who carry a spark of the Upper Planes within their souls. They can fan that spark to bring light, ease wounds, and unleash the fury of the heavens."
THEN THERES THE REAL FUCKING GIVEAWAY!!! THIS LINE: "Know your kin, recognized by the manes of flickering flame, wings that rival dragons, the golden suns in our eyes."
MotM says "They resemble their parents, but … often have features that hint at their celestial heritage." and VGtM says "They are a people of otherworldly visages, with luminous features that reveal their celestial heritage."
OF THE CELESTIAL FEATURES OPTIONS OFFERED BY MOTM, ENTRY 2 IS "METALLIC, LUMINOUS, OR DARK EYES" AND ENTRY 3 IS "STARKLY COLORED HAIR". THE FERINS ARE WELL KNOWN FOR HAVING BOTH.
The tablets are, of course, not my only evidence.
the ferins arent born with The Ferin Eye as revealed by Jay having to earn hers and Drey talking about when he got his. "now icarus," i hear you say "wouldnt that mean they dont actually fit the celestial features requirement?" and to that i answer "NO! IT IN FACT FITS IT BETTER!"
In discussing aasimar celestial features, MotM says "These [features] often begin subtle and become more obvious when the aasimar gains the ability to reveal their full celestial nature." Jay didn’t have the Ferin eye until she earned it and its subsequent abilities. And we all remember how she earned it, right?
A weird ass fucking dream.
Now let’s look at that. According to VGtM “An aasimar, except for one who has turned to evil, has a link to an angelic being. That being … provides guidance to the aasimar, though this connection functions only in dreams. As such, the guidance is not a direct command or a simple spoken word. Instead, the aasimar receives visions, prophecies, and feelings.”
In Jay's first sun dream (Juice Roll With It // Episode #88), Grizzly describes the sun and says "You feel like its presence is trying to reach you. And as you notice, you feel almost like you want it to.”
And then the core of the dream itself:
Grizzly: “Do you think Jay can withstand this impossible heat of the sun as you get just barely one step closer?” Condi: “I’m gonna say no… but she would try anyways, if that is, like, what the feeling is kinda giving her, you know?” Grizzly: “This powerful presence, as hot as it is - you can’t help but think of your sister. You can’t help but think of your friends. But then, you think of your mother, and then you think of your father, and then you think of your grandmother” (makes condi roll con save with disadvantage, condi got an 11) “with an 11, you take that step forward, but this overwhelming pressure, anxiousness, fear, handcuffs your spirit, closes your mind, and you just feel the heat of the sun overcome you. And you are jolted awake back in the reality. … but you know that in this dream you lost. You lost to the heat.”
Then the second dream (Happy Wife Happy Life // Episode 102), where the sun is hotter and larger than before and excruciatingly painful:
Grizzly: “You just can’t help but stare at it with both eyes wide open. And behind you you feel another heat.” (Condi asks if Jay can see this heat or if Jay is too focused on the sun) “You know that this heat signifies that backing away and falling is not an option this time. But as you look at the sun, you once again think about your family: your mother, who said she was sick; your father, who called you naive; your grandmother, who threatens the safety of your friends. You think of your friends. So I ask again, this time: do you think Jay can withstand that heat? That pressure and that fire?” Condi: “I think as Jay is staring up at this sort of immense fireball that represents… obviously her pressure, and she feels that heat at her back… I don’t think she would look at the heat as, like, something preventing her from stepping back and falling anymore. But in this metaphorical sense - since a lot of this is a metaphor - she’d probably look at it as what she basically can’t turn her back on, what she can’t leave behind. Basically like her new hope. You know, what she wants to protect. So she’s in between this and this giant fireball. Um. And I think with that in mind she would take a step forward and, um. While maybe not fully confident in herself, she would jump into the fireball with all her might, doing her best. ... I think she can handle it. She thinks she can handle it.” Grizzly: “Fair enough. That’s all I asked. You jump in- go ahead and roll a con save with advantage.” (Condi got a 19) “You leap with almost like a raging fire of conviction even if you doubt yourself, jay. And the sun almost seems to open up to welcome you in. And at first, the searing pain of the fireball’s heat feels like it’s melting your skin. You scream until it feels like it’s melting away that doubt. And then, all of the pain subsides. There’s a calming sense that kind of overtakes, jay, in your subconscious. And it’s all white at this point - your whole vision.”
So the sun reached out to jay through a dream, as aasimar’s celestial links tend to do, and gave her a test of strength that she had to figure out for herself (“as such, the guidance is not a direct command or simple spoken word. Instead, the aasimar receives visions, prophecies, and feelings.” - VGtM). She only passed it by remembering she had people she needed to protect (“Protector aasimar are charged by the powers of good to guard the weak, to strike at evil wherever it arises, and to stand vigilant against the darkness.” - VGtM). And when she passed this test given to her in a dream: “speaking of your vision, you begin to feel a warmth behind one of your eyelids. And the next day comes as you’re the first to wake at the very crack of dawn. The sun rises, and you rise with it. And you blink a few times - you feel something different. … This time, you look into a mirror and, just like your dad, just like Drey, you see this bright orange glowing eye on one of the sides. And you feel whatever that was: you passed it.”
This, therefore, perfectly fits Jay into the aasimar’s celestial features description that “these [features] often begin subtle and become more obvious when the aasimar gains the ability to reveal their full celestial nature.” Jay had to prove herself to the goddess to earn another celestial trait.
And once more, “Icarus!” I hear you cry. “You keep saying Jay fits the Protector Aasimar subrace, but don’t Protector Aasimar have incorporeal wings that come from their celestial heritage? Jay’s wings are from a tattoo! That doesn’t work!” To which I say, “Are you sure?”
The Protector Aasimar’s subrace ability is called Radiant Soul and allows the aasimar to “unleash the divine energy within yourself, causing your eyes to glimmer and two luminous, incorporeal wings to sprout from your back.”
Jay’s wings come from enchanted tattoos with which she can cast Fly. These were a deliberate choice Jay made and are not celestial in origin. However, in the first sun dream, when Jay reaches out for the sun Grizzly says “You begin to feel the tattoo on your upper back sting.��� When condi asks to clarify if it’s the Niklaus tattoo, Grizzly only says “Just the upper back.”
This, of course, leads me to believe that those dreams will or already have affected her wings in some way - perhaps leaving space for her to unlock more of her celestial heritage and power as she earns it. It’s something we’ll just have to watch and see for.
Either way the Ferins are aasimar, Jay's gonna be the first one in generations to earn their true celestial power from Aster, and i will Die On This Hill
#dragons hoard#another theory post except this time its Color Coded oooohhh shinyyyy#theres a much more niche narrative theory I could go into based on this too#but thats more speculation than direct theory so itll get its own post eventually#jrwi riptide#jrwi#just roll with it#jrwiblr#just roll with it riptide#jrwi jay#jrwi jay ferin#jay ferin#jrwi theory#aasimar ferins theory#jrwi 115#jrwi episode 115#jrwi ep 115#jrwi spoilers
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Shave off all your hair, burn your social security card, change your name, start new life: a tarot card reading 👒
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Pick a meme
123
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Disclaimer: please take what I say with a grain of salt and not as the gospel. I just want to share some ideas of practicing and giving advice using the medium as often as I can with school, work, and my own personal studies and practice. But I am working on sharing my notes soon so that will be exciting! Liking and sharing does a lot 🥰
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Socials: TipJar | Follow me!
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The cards
Two of wands 🫂
Unity
Find your fuck ass self worth babe! Talk to your friend, learn how you tick, look for intellectual insight with your peers and friends. You need to recognize your mental and intellectual growth. To grow, to change, you must let yourself grow intellectually and spiritually. You must let the fire of your mentally run and do not keep the fire of knowledge dim
Four of cups 🫖
Awareness
you need to find a motivation, you need to find a mental and emotional passion to push yourself to take the step you need. Do not let past hardships make you weak to finding new love, love is everywhere and honestly you don’t have to look. Because you exist love exists and you know love like yours can be possessed because you are the possessor of it. To change your life, open up.
XV the devil 👹
Boundaries
Find your own truth, lust for life, live so hard and so joyously, hurt in the most heartbreaking spirit crushing way you can, feel every moment to the death defying nauseating extent you can. You stay stuck in the place you are stuck in currently because you are caught as prisoner in your own mind. Start your new life, break free of the impossible standard you hold yourself too, make social anxiety fear you.
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Extras: 💡
Story/vent:
Im going to start a blog and talk abt magic and practice
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#suitlifeofgerm#askgerm#germ reads#daily card#pick a card#tarot#tarotoftheday#shadow work#pick a picture#tarot community#tarot blog#tarot witch#free tarot#tarot spread#daily tarot#tarot reading#tarot cards#tarot spreads#tarot reader#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#tarot deck#tarot pull#tarot practice#tarot pick a card#tarot pick a pile#tarot divination#tarot daily#tarot draw#divination
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here is a reading guide for post-age up jon, including the good parts only so you guys could appreciate him more.
THE UNITY SAGA
superman (2018) #7 - 10 this is the story that started it all. jon goes on a space journey with his grandpa and comes back seven years older with enough trauma to last him for the rest of his life and more.
THE ONE WHO FELL
superman #29, action comics #1029, superman #30 - 32 during his time in the future, jon discovers his father might not have much time left in the present. worried about his dad, jon tries to warn him and prevent the inevitable. this story is cute and shows clark's love for his son and how proud he is of the man jon has become.
WARWORLD RISING
action comics #1030 - 1035 follows up the pervious story. clark and jon find refugees who escaped warworld. while clark is ready to help 100%, jon thinks it's a trap to lure his father and is vocal about his suspicions. this story lets jon have flaws, and they make complete sense for his character. while he isn't the main main character, it's a great read to help you understand his character.
SON OF KAL-EL
superman: son of kal-el #1 - 6, annual 2021, #7 - 8, nightwing (2016) #89, superman: soke #9 - 18, action comics #1050 after clark leaves for warworld to help the people there, jon is left in charge as the main superman on earth. with his dad gone, his identity being public and the weight of the world on his shoulders, jon tries to figure out the kind of hero he wants to be. this series also introduces jay nakamura, a journalist and a freedom fighter jon falls in love with. the final three issues is jon's reunion with his dad.
DARK CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS
dark crisis #1 - 7 with the whole justice leauge dead, jon tires his best to keep the world spinning and the people in it hopeful. he goes around, trying to form a new justice league. this story shows how jon truly is his father's son and that he deserves the title "superman", as well as his strengths, and his undying spirit.
RISE OF METALLO
action comics #1051 - 1056 clark comes back from warworld with twins, whom he and lois later adopt. jon struggles seeing his parents raise the kids in a way they couldn't raise him because of the time they lost. still though, jon tries his best to be there for his new siblings.
this is jon's main timeline since he came back from his space trip. those are the required stories. bellow, i'll list some comics that aren't necessary to understand him, but are nonetheless good.
THE SUPERMAN OF METROPOLIS
future state: superman of metropolis #1 - 2 this is a future state story that isn't canon. jon bottles the city of metropolis in hopes of saving it. the story follows the consequences of his choice.
OUT THERE
dark crisis: worlds without a justice league - superman #1 do you wonder what would've happened had jon grown up with his folks? do you wonder what he would've been like had he not spent his formative years in a volcano prison? well, this is a story for you. this is clark's perfect world, and in a perfect world, he gets to see his boy grow into a man.
NIGHT AT THE CIRCUS
nightwing (2016) #101 - 104 (back up story) nightwing investigates a mystery in the circus and calls jon for help. the story is a cute team-up between the two.
A HEART IN METROPOLIS
action comics #1059 - "a heart in metropolis" (back up story) jon and jay struggle to find time to spend together, with life getting in the way. finally, the boys find the time to go on a date.
MAGICAL MYSTERY CUBE
superman & robin special #1 cute jon and damian team-up. if you like the super sons, this is a story for you. it shows that their friendship can still work, even with jon being older now.
ELECTRIC
lazarus planet: assult on krypton #1 - “electric” during the lazarus planet event, a common criminal gets powers and decides to join jon in helping people. their dynamic is fun: a righteous hero and a flirty villain. even though i don't particularly ship them, i still enjoyed their interaction.
this is it, guys. this is the list. happy reading! :)
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Dearest Coin,
I have a Tarot deck that i got from a kickstarter (it looked cool), but I do not understand how Tarot works.
Could you tell me or lead me to somewhere where I can find the right information?
Oh boy do I!! I think a lot of people initially found me through my tarot posts lol. Here is a list of posts that aren't too long and can hopefully get you started from this masterpost.
The Origin of Tarot
The Suits in Tarot
Numbers in Tarot
Tarot Archetypes
Court Cards in Tarot
Shadow Cards Ask
The best way for me to learn was to figure out the basic meaning behind the suits, numbers, and imagery. So I used essentially an "If A and B then C" formula:
So if I pull the two of wands upright:
2 can represent Partnership, unity, balance, security, decisions.
Wands can represent Spirituality, Energy, Passion, Work
-> Then I can assume the two of wands means that there is likely a decision needing to be made or a next step to take involving a partnership, project, or job. This decision will probably be taking stability and balance into account. There will be a lot of energy put into either this decision making OR it will result in energy being placed in the decision actually made.
Then I look at the imagery. Is there a person? What are they doing? Does it seem to be a male, female, or gender ambiguous figure? If there isn't a person, is there an animal, or perhaps symbols? What do they mean to me?
Reversals
Some people don't read reversals, in my opinion this doesn't make sense to me and I feel it limits the potential of my deck BUT I am not going to yuck someone's magical yum.
Reversals are not necessarily the opposite of the upright, but can be the lack of what the upright is suggesting. So for the two of wands the reverse could be that you are stagnant. It's not that a decision doesn't need to be made, but that you are holding back on making a decision, one you've needed to make for a while. Or that you need to plan your next step before you jump in, perhaps because you have history or running in head first and now it is telling you to be patient.
Ultimately I will tell you that you should keep a guidebook with you, at least at first. Eventually things will stick! You've got this!!
Also link the tarot deck, bestie 👀
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Hello all!
This month was, truly, a beautiful month for me reading-wise. The birds were chirping, I found smut that made me sweat, and I revisited some old favorites. Let's jump right in. I am so excited to share these with you. (Hence why I am posting this a day early.)
Strap in!
Dwelling On Dreams by @the-sinking-ship for H/D Big Bang 2021, 135k, E
I reread this fic this month, and it was just as delicious as I remembered. There are aspects of this fic that felt burned into my memory, so it came as a shock to me when I realized that the last time I'd read this fic was over a year ago. Everything about it feels so vivid. Harry's magic, his raw sexual energy. Draco's ability to make me scream at my phone and throw a mini temper-tantrum. I love flashbacks, and this fic has them in abundance. If you're looking for a thick read with complex characters and an interesting case to solve, look no further!
Hear Me Out by @rainstormradish for @dronarryfest 2024, 5.2k, E
I am pleased to announce that I have officially bought my ticket and jumped on the Dronarry train. You've all convinced me. This fic, in particular, is what really got the ball rolling. This was... immaculate. When I said I found smut that made me sweat, I MEANT IT. I had to, like, physically reconnect with my limbs after I read this. A bit of fake dating to start you off, and it only gets better from there.
The Way You Say My Name by InnerLilith 5.3k, E
Ya'll ever just bark at your phone? Sometimes, a girl just wants to read about Harry Potter going absolutely bonkers over Draco Malfoy calling him sweet little names. Very hot, very important to me.
Please hold. Your call is very important to us./Bloodlust and Bureaucracy by @goblinmatriarch 5k, T/8.5k E
DOUBLE FEATURE! I love the smell of wizarding bureaucracy in the morning. What a little world you have built! Authors who can create a new little piece of the wizarding world to explore mean the world to me. Very interesting in regards to how the medical system in the wizarding world relates to its real-world counterparts. Also, some biting action. Very smart, very hot.
Crossed Wires by @skeptiquewrites 11k, E
Critics are raving. "Literally ripping up the wallpaper in my home," says one reviewer. "Gnawing at the bars of my enclosure," says another. Bureaucracy lovers win forever and ever. Also, Draco gets to wear many suits. Harry Potter the reluctant politician. I couldn't have wished for more.
Our Objective Remains Unchanged by @citrusses 46k, E
BOATS, REPRESSION, MORE BOATS, EDGING (for sports purposes), EVEN MORE REPRESSION, AND WILL YOU BELIEVE ME IF I SAY THERE'S MORE BOATS. I don't know how you've done it, but you've managed to parallel the epic highs and lows of college rowing with the literal wizarding war. If that isn't talent, I don't know what is babe.
Truth or Dare? by @lettersbyelise 3.4k, E
There is truly nothing more intimate than jerking off your childhood rival while a party goes on around you. THAT, my friends, is the key to post-war, inter-house unity.
Borrowed Time by @the-starryknight for @dronarryfest 2024, 7.6k, E
Oh this was fire. What do you know about body swapping threesomes? Would you like to know more? Yes. Yes, you would.
Alrighty, I think that's all for now, folks. Very thankful to be in a fandom with so so so many talented people. You all blow my mind. Here's to another month of fantastic fiction!
See ya!
XX, Moon
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Luz is actually 13 at the start of the Owl House and here's why (Owl House timeline analysis).
Please read!!! 👉👈
Ok, so I've been rewatching the owl house recently through Danny Motta's videos on YouTube, and it got me to thinking about the years the owl house takes place in and the logistics of the BI and Earth time zones. So, I made an analysis:
*SPOILERS BELOW*
First off, let's talk about Luz.
When you look up Luz's age online, it says that Luz is canonically 14 years old in the show. But when you look at the events of the show (*Spoilers sorry*), we see that Luz is celebrating her birthday on the BI, and we see Eda say this line:
Ok, no big deal, right? Well, if we look at the events of the show, we know that the kids were in the Human realm for a while. It was fall in the human realm when the kids arrived after the day of Unity. After the montage of them in the Human realm, it is shown to be Halloween. This means that they would have been in the Human realm for a little under a year, meaning it doesn't make sense that Eda would say that line because Luz would have already turned 15 during that year in the Human realm while the collector was controlling the BI.
So, for this timeline, I'm gonna reference @drachenfalter's calendar analysis (check it out, it's great). In this analysis, they use this picture of a BI calendar.
We see here that the calendar has 42 days in a month, and so their analysis shows that the BI would have 9 months in a year instead of 12, meaning the time zones don't change, but the calendar is longer (hence, why Luz can text her mom in the same time zone).
For Luz's birthday, there is no specific birthday stated for her, but for the sake of the post, I'm gonna head cannon it to be April 8th because that is the day Watching and dreaming came out. Watching and dreaming came out in 2023, and there is a 3-year timeskip at the end, with Luz having graduated High school already in the human realm and preparing to start college in the BI. If we assume that the timeskip takes place in that modern day in 2023, then that would mean that Belos's final defeat takes place in 2020, and the start of the show would have taken place not in 2020, when the show came out, but in 2019, 1 year prior, explaining Luz's narration at the end.
With that in mind, here is my timeline Headcannon.
Luz- 13 years old at the start of the show finishing 8th grade.
Time: Mid-May or beginning of June 2019.
Luz birthday: April 8th (H.C.)
Luz turns 13, finished 8th grade, Camilla sends luz to camp; Luz leaves for BI in Mid-May (March for BI), 2019.
Luz learns magic, attends Hexside, dates Amity in the span of 5 BI months, 7 Earth Months. (It is fall when Luz finds Vee and returns home after the day of Unity).
Luz fights Belos and goes back to the Human realm in November 2019 (September for BI).
The Hexsquad go live in human realm for 1 calendar year, give or take.
- Luz goes back to school, the gang experiences the different seasons in the Human realm montage in Thanks to Them, time jump ends at Halloween.
Luz turns 14 during this time in 2020, and is a sophomore in high school in Thanks to Them (reminder: there is no pandemic in the Owl house universe)
The Hexsquad fights Belos again and goes back to the BI on Halloween in 2020 (End of August/Beg. of September for BI).
The Hexsquad saves the BI in November 2020 (September for BI).
*Timeskip 3 years later*
Luz turns 15 in 2021, spends it rebuilding the Isles.
Luz turns 16 in 2022
Luz turns 17 in 2023, reaches the end of senior year, graduates' high school in the human realm with Vee.
The finale takes place on April 8th, 2023 (February for BI).
- Luz turns 17, celebrates her "King-ceañera".
Luz goes to magic university in the BI in 2023.
- Luz's move in date for school is shown to be August 21st in "Watching and Dreaming", which would be June for the BI, meaning that Luz will have left for school 3-4 months early since she is also shown to be packing in the episode.
Ok, so one last thing to note, with this timeline, the finale would take place in 2023, and Luz would be celebrating her 17th birthday in the BI. This means that Luz would have still been a legal minor when starting college. My head cannon is that Camilla allowed Luz to stay with Eda and Raine for the 3-4 months before starting school, and constantly checked in on Luz during her time in the dorms before turning 18 (as well as long after, of course:)). Eda and Raine would likely also coparent to make sure that Luz was keeping up with her move in process and magic studies.
Anyway, that's my timeline analysis for the Owl house! Hope y'all like it! (I also have other Head cannons for the ages of the other Hexsquad members that go with this timeline if y'all wanna know).
#owl house#rambles#Owl house timeline#timeline analysis#the owl house spoilers#owl house spoilers#luz noceda#danny motta#amity blight#hunter deamonne#hunter noceda#willow park#gus porter#vee noceda#camila noceda#eda clawthorne#raine whispers#@drachenfalter#dana terrace#the owl house
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who you say you are
i feel like shit so here we are
possible TW for discussions of periods and everything that happens during them, like bleeding through three layers of clothing (that was a wonderful night)
Stephen hated his periods. He hated the general feeling of unwellness during that week, and he hated having to clean blood out of everything after he inevitably bled through.. everything. The worst part about it, however, wasn't even the blood. It was the dysphoria. It was the fact that every month, his period would bring the lies of his mind, telling him that he wasn't a real man and never would be. That he was weak for whining about it.
That he was never Stephen and he never would be. That he was too feminine, or that he was never 'good enough' to pass as a man. The worst was his mind telling him that he'd always be a girl, that deep down... he was never Stephen in the first place. He was just little Lucy, trying on her dad's shirt.
On those days, Stephen would curl up on his bed, clutching a hot water bottle. Cloak would hold him as he sobbed, telling himself over and over again, like a mantra, that his name was Stephen Strange. On those days, he would ask Wong not to bother him, despite every fiber of his being yearning to be held, begging for someone to call him handsome and take away the pain.
He didn't think that Wong knew. He was near-positive that Wong had no idea that Stephen was trans. As far as the other sorcerer knew, Stephen was just another man. A man with a broken soul to match his broken hands and scarred chest.
~
It was one of those days (Dark Days, Stephen called them) when Stephen was in his room, clutching a pillow to his chest. A second was between his legs, pressed to his crotch. It was surprisingly helpful when dealing with cramps, the pressure on his lower abdomen easing the discomfort. Unfortunately, he had forgotten his heading pad in the library from when he last used it and when he finally needed it again, he was too comfortable to get it.
Magic was out of the option as well considering just how horrible he felt between the pain, dysphoria, and his hands. It was a bad hand day, because of course, and he really didn't want to move. Which, unfortunately, meant breathing through the pain and trying not to cry.
Eventually, he managed to fall into a light sleep, nodding off then jolting awake again. He woke up in a way that jarred his hands and he groaned. It might be time to sacrifice his comfort for some much-desired relief.
He was mentally preparing himself to climb out of bed when there was a knock at the door. "Stephen?"
Stephen blinked. "..Wong..?"
"You left your heating pad in the library." Wong announced.
Stephen sighed. "I know. Leave me alone."
"I warmed it up for you. I thought you might need it. May I come in?" Stephen didn't respond. Wong had found his heating pad and warmed it up for him. For a second, Stephen wondered if Wong knew, but he had hidden it so well-- "Stephen?"
"...yeah. you can come in."
There was a click as the doorknob turned, then Wong was walking across the room in brisk strides, stopping in front of the nest of blankets that was Stephen Strange. "Here." he set the heating pad down near Stephen's hands. "I also have tea and some of your painkillers. It's raining today."
Stephen let out a shaky breath. Maybe Wong was just looking out for his hands. That would explain it, right? But Wong was never so... caring. Aside from his the week after Everest and his usual quiet help when Stephen needed to handle large stacks of books.
"You're paler than usual. If you turned yourself into a vampire on accident, I will kill you again." Stephen huffed.
"I'm not a vampire."
Wong reached out a hand and felt Stephen's forehead. Stephen nearly froze at the contact, but didn't say anything. He tried to look anywhere but Wong until the hand was gone. "You're not running a temperature."
"I'm trans." Stephen found himself blurting out.
Wong looked at him. Blinked. "Do you need any supplies?"
Supplies...?
"Pads, tampons? You disappear in your room once every four weeks, only coming out for food and when you do, you look horrible. Deathly pale, hunched over as if in pain, it wasn't hard to figure out."
Stephen looked up at his friend. Wong had taken a seat in the armchair next to Stephen's bed -- one of the large library chairs that had found itself in Stephen's room after a few too many vigils of Wong's when Stephen found himself injured.
"You... you never said anything."
"If you wanted me to know, you would have told me when the time was right."
"You... always made my favorite meals."
Wong huffed a rare smile. "I have never menstruated, but I can sympathy. I have a sister. She was always... vocal with.. everything. I did what I could to make her feel better."
Stephen smiled. "It sounds like you love her."
"Very much." Wong was smiling ever so slightly. Stephen found that watching Wong smile seemed to take the pain away.
"What's her name?"
"Li." It was soft, spoken just above a whisper. "You'd like her."
"Li. Pretty name." Stephen sighed. "Mine was-- is--"
"Stephen."
Stephen paused. He stared at Wong. Wong stared back. "Your name is Stephen. You are Stephen Strange. Do not give me your dead name. It is dead for a reason. You are who you say you are, not what someone else wants you to be. You told me on your very first day that your name is Stephen Strange. That is who you are. If you wish for me to use a different name, then I will. I respect you, and I will respect you, whoever you decide to be."
Stephen swallowed, tears pricking his eyes. He refused to let himself cry in front of Wong, of all people. Wong looked at him again and nodded. "You are Stephen Strange. Remember that."
Before he knew it, Wong had closed the door behind him and Stephen was sobbing into his pillow.
A few hours later, Stephen woke up feeling a hundred times better than before. He decided to find his way to the kitchen for dinner, now that the cramps had disappeared.
He found Wong at the stove, making friend rice. Wong's go-to comfort food that had quickly become Stephen's as well."
"Thank you." Stephen whispered. Wong responded by dishing Stephen and himself a large helping of rice.
"Of course, Stephen."
#trans stephen strange#period cramps#i'll add more tags later#writing#my writing#might post on ao3 later#if I feel like it#dysphoria is the worstttt#also pillow between my legs is a lifesaver for period cramps#I have no idea why#it if it works it works#fluff#they're so fluffy#probably pre-slash#Wong is best bro#I love hims#doctor stephen strange#stephen strange#wong#wongstrange#but not quite yet#once again Wong's chair in Stephen's room and the fried rice is from#you guessed it#unity of magic#go read it#Stephen deadnaming himself :(#he tries to do it again but wong stops him#ill edit this later#just not at 1 in the morning
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Unity of Magic - Chapter 24
I can't believe we're actually here today... It has been exactly one year since I've started posting chapters of Unity of Magic.
So in celebration of that, here is an almost 10k words long anniversary chapter!
Things get dire at the London Sanctum and Stephen and Wong have to do some quick thinking...
Featuring Bruce and Christine bonding over their shared experience of watching Wong and Stephen being unbelievably domestic.
#thank you to all of you who have been following the journey so far#there's still a long way to go and even though it may be slow with life happening i promise we will get there eventually#Unity of Magic#wongstrange#wongrange#wong#doctor strange#stephen strange#fanfic#read on ao3#mcu#marvel
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If any of you like some adorable WongStrange reading for Valentine's, Kay got you covered!
This is such a good little one shot, I can only implore you to give it a try!
Okay guys!! The Valentines Day YOTP 2023 challenge Wong/Strange One-shot has been posted 🥳
💖 Mutual Pining
😩 Double Date gone wrong
👨❤️👨 Friends to Lovers
https://archiveofourown.org/work
#fic rec#read it#it's so cute <3#WongStrange#i'm also working on my feb yotp one shot#going with the prompt: different#and i also got the next chapter Unity of Magic almost done#gotta study for my exams tho so it's all gonna take some time#good you have Kay's little fic to tide you over!
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We Could Call It Even
Summary: Newly made and terrified, Elain Archeron's human fiance tells her of a creature that could turn her back and keep them together and Elain will stop at nothing to make rumor a reality.
There is no force that can undo fate. No magic that can unmake a mating bond. And Lucien Vanserra isn't about to let his mate throw herself in the path of certain death on a fools hope. Lucien will be forced, instead, to watch her love another man for eighty brutal, miserable years.
While Elain Archeron will have to contend with a life she hoped to never live…and a mate she never wanted.
Thank you @shadowisles-writes for the moodboard!!
Read on AO3 | Chapter 1
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Lucien couldn’t bring himself to look at her.
Standing beside her human husband, glowing and lovely in the ruined light of the estate they stood in. She had pointedly ignored him, though the male—Graysen—had looked him over with more curiosity than anything. He supposed the human lord wanted to know what his competition was.
As if there’d ever been any choice between them. She hadn’t even done him the courtesy of formally rejecting the bond, leaving Lucien with an ache he couldn’t dispel and a yearning he suspected would never go away. Even then, Lucien warred with the urge to rip Graysen to shreds.
He had his arm around her. She was leaning into his body, head on his shoulder and Lucien hated it. She owed him, he thought angrily. Not an acceptance, but at least an explanation. Lucien would have liked to be free, too.
Instead he leaned against the ruined door, arms crossed over his chest as he avoided his mate, his former friend, and his older brother all at the same time. He listened to their pretty speeches about unity and togetherness that would never amount to anything. The humans very obviously distrusted her—he could see they thought she was little more than a traitor.
Feyre didn’t seem to have a good sense of her own history. Lucien wondered why that was. She cared, certainly, but was divorced from the suffering of her own people and wanted them to get over it as she had. Feyre was an anomaly, an outlier that, from Lucien’s perspective, didn’t even notice how different she was.
Even Nesta Archeron didn’t seem wholly convinced, arms wrapped tightly around her body as though she were trying to shrink in on herself. Across the room, Jurian was trying to catch his eye. Lucien would rather die, he decided. He wanted to wash his hands of all of this.
He didn’t regret the things he’d done, but…all Lucien felt anymore was misery.
He tried to slip out once it was clear there were no more speeches left in anyone. Oh, they mingled and talked, promising to keep in touch but he knew they wouldn’t. The fae were too secretive and the humans too distrustful. The history was simply too bloody between them and even five centuries couldn’t erase the hurt.
After all, the fae had never really paid any reparations. They’d merely walled themselves off and warned humans if they crossed the border, well. Everything was fair game. Lucien didn’t know how he’d do it differently—it was a herculean task better suited to far smarter minds than his own. He simply knew that what they’d tried—which was nothing at all—hadn’t been working and would fix nothing.
“Wait up,” Feyre murmured, looping her arm through his as she’d done on the battlefield. She’d been trying to convince Elain to speak with him, which had gone poorly. Elain clearly wanted nothing to do with him, despite everything he’d done for her. The ache in Lucien’s chest expanded.
“I’m not going to Velaris, Fey.” That stopped her short. Standing among the rubble, a breeze blowing strands of that burnished blonde hair over her freckled face, Feyre looked sad. Young, too. It was easy to forget just how young she was, but…fuck. She was twenty. Lucien ran a hand through his hair, trying to think what he’d been doing at that age.
Fucking and drinking, mostly.
“Why not?”
“Why—I can’t,” he confessed, letting her hear some of his grief. “I want to forget all this happened.”
“Where will you go?” she questioned, looking up at him with the roundest pair of blue eyes he’d ever seen. She reminded him so much of that fragile human girl he’d once known. Lucien exhaled a sigh.
“I don’t know.”
“She’s…she’s not going to come back, Lucien. I don’t know if she’s even welcome back, I’m so…” Feyre bit her bottom lip.
“So what?”
“Angry,” she whispered, as if Elain might materialize beside her. “This wasn’t how I wanted things to go, you know. But she…she’s got this idea of what life should be like in her head and she won’t let it go.”
“Good for her,” Lucien said dismissively, not wanting to talk about Elain.
“I need…I know you don’t want anything to do with her and I don’t blame you. I told her to at least explain it to you. To talk to you. I um…I went in her mind. A couple times, actually. She doesn’t have any mental defenses and Graysen is always screaming all his thoughts at me anyway. He’s filled her head with some nonsense about a creature who can make her human again.”
Lucien's blood ran cold. “What?”
“A creature tethered to a lake,” Feyre added pointedly.
“He’s a fool then. They both are, if they make a deal with a death god.”
“She’s going to look for him. Alone.”
Lucien hated that he cared. Hated more that he knew what Feyre was asking of him and that he was going to agree, despite how much more pain it was heaping on his shoulders. Hadn’t he suffered enough? Lucien was certain he’d been sent back to live a life of torment for crimes committed in the past.
“I’ll do anything, Lucien. Anything,” she whispered, offering him her hand.
“You know that’s a fools bargain, Feyre,” he reminded her, knowing she wouldn’t have said it if she didn’t trust him.
“She’ll get herself killed and I’ll be blamed for it. Nesta will never forgive me and Graysen…he’ll spin it as faerie trickery.”
“How am I supposed to stop her? She seems perfectly capable of making her own choices.”
“You went there. You saw him. Explain to her what he takes and the cost she’d be paying. Restoring her humanity would come at an enormous cost. Elain can be selfish, but she’s not cruel.”
Lucien wasn’t certain he agreed with that. He took Feyre’s hand, though, because he loved her as much as he’d loved anyone. She gripped tight, yanking him just a little closer.
“I’ll put you up somewhere quiet,” she murmured, holding his gaze. “Anywhere in my territory you want. You don’t have to work with me, just…stay, Lucien.”
“And when you have to pick between myself and your sister?” he asked bitterly. “Humans die quickly. She has a century with him, if that. Likely less given how stupid he seems.”
A smile cracked over her solemn expression. “She didn’t choose me. I heard her thoughts when we went to beg for sanctuary. She held such contempt for me and I…why should I keep begging her to care about me? She’s made her choice. And I am making mine.”
Lucien’s stomach tumbled at the ferocity of her words. “I tried to kill you once.”
Her smile widened. “I was a little shit, as I remember it. You went to war for me. I’ll never forget that.”
He’d gone for Elain, and he suspected Feyre knew as much, but he appreciated the sentiment all the same. Maybe he could reframe it in his mind. Sure, he’d gone on Elain’s vision, wanting to prove himself to her. But he’d saved his friend—perhaps the best friend he’d ever had. “How do I…how do I stop her?”
“She’s going alone. Don’t tell anyone…but I manipulated Graysen’s thoughts to convince himself Elain had to go by herself. That it was part of the legend.”
Lucien sighed, exasperated. “What if I’d said no?”
“You wouldn’t,” she replied with that easy, lopsided grin. “She has to make her way through my territory to get to the harbor. I know the ticket she’s purchased. Just…meet her on the docks and say whatever you have to in order to send her home.”
“And if she gets on the ship anyway?”
“Then I’ll send in Cassian,” Feyre said, her smile fading. “And Elain will know I’ve been in her mind and she’ll be cleverer next time.”
Lucien paused. “How many times have you been in my mind?”
She squirmed. “Twice.”
“On purpose?” he demanded, more annoyed than anything.
“Just once—the first time was a mistake,” she told him hastily. He believed that.
“And the second time?”
“When you visited my sister the first time,” she all but whispered. It was better than he’d been imagining. Feyre, in her roundabout way, always wanted the best for everyone. And if she could force it to happen, well…even better.
“I’ll do my best,” he agreed, if only because he’d already shaken her hand. He felt the tingle of magic sliding up his elbow, and when their eyes met, she was smiling again.
“We ink our bargains on the skin,” she told him. “Stay with me tonight, at least. You can decide in the morning where you want to go.”
“Maybe I want to live in the mountains,” he challenged.
“I’ll build you a cabin,” she whispered. “Or a palatial estate. Whatever you want—name it, Lucien. Just…don’t leave me.”
“No promises,” he said, heart racing. No one had ever wanted him to stay so badly they’d been willing to beg. To give him whatever he wanted. As Feyre took his hand, lacing her fingers with his, he suspected she would have given him nearly anything he asked for. Jewels, some low-level secrets he’d always wondered. And as they walked back to Rhys, who cocked his head to the side but only smiled as if what he saw pleased him, Lucien wondered if it wasn’t better to just try and make a clean break of things.
“Az and Cass are already halfway back,” Rhys told Feyre, falling into step easily beside them. “Azriel was seconds from pummeling Drakon to the ground.”
“Why?”
“He thinks they’re cowards,” Rhys said, some of his amusement fading. “How did you find them?”
“I read,” Lucien replied with a shrug, not bothering to mention that a lot of it had been blind, stupid luck. Perhaps Rhys knew that, too—after all, he had to have been looking for longer than Lucien had.
“Well, they’re going back behind their wards.
“Miryam showed me how to get a message through,” Feyre told him, but her expression was troubled. Rhys merely nodded, offering a half smile that didn’t meet his eyes.
“Hopefully we won’t need them again. Jurian has gone back with Vassa…they wanted Lucien to join them in the human lands—”
“No.”
The mere thought made his skin crawl.
“I told them he had more important tasks in Prythian that would better suit their goals.”
“Did you, now?” That irritated him. He hadn’t sworn fealty to Rhys as his High Lord. In fact, the only person Lucien felt any allegiance to was Feyre, who had promised him a life of quiet contemplation.
“He’s lying,” Feyre whispered theatrically before a rush of cool, jasmine scented air filled his senses. Beneath the metallic edge of the magic lay the familiar scent of Feyre—pear and lilac, whorling together so nicely that for a moment he could pretend they were all back in Spring together and none of this had happened.
Was he selfish for wishing that?
They landed on the cold streets of Velaris. A fog had settled from the mountainside, causing light snowflakes to settle on the cobblestone. Few people moved about—he’d forgotten Feyre and Rhys, like so many others, had evacuated their people. It would take time to bring them all back.
Rhys made his way back to their home while Feyre took him to a familiar townhouse. “I thought you’d prefer it here tonight. It’s closer, but it’s also…”
“Yeah,” he agreed, understanding. It was empty. He could be alone with his misery, not forced to put on a show so people wouldn’t pity him.
“I’ll have clean clothes sent over. If you don’t want to stay, I won’t make you, but…” Feyre bit her bottom lip, crossing her arms over her chest to ward off the cold. “I wouldn’t make you work for me. You could take a break, Lucien. Enjoy your life, for once.”
“A novel thought,” he admitted. “I’ll think about it.”
She nodded, tugging the end of her braid nervously. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
Lucien wanted to say more, but the words that often came so easily to him were stuck in his throat. As she turned, Lucien lunged, catching her wrist. “Thank you.”
He hoped those two words conveyed what he wanted to say properly. She seemed to understand—they’d always had that between them, at least. Feyre nodded her head and he released her, letting her vanish into the mist before he went into the warmth. He’d been here before, just as bloodied and exhausted. Velairs had seemed foreign to him at the time, so at odds with the stories he’d always been told. This was the land of living nightmare? Surely not.
But here, among the well appointed cream furniture and dark wood floors, lay the truth of the Night Court. It was no different than any of the other territories. It simply better guarded its borders by allowing rumors to spread unchecked. He knew, now, that Rhys rather liked that people were too afraid to come marching in.
It was better than the heavily fortified borders of Autumn, he supposed.
Lucien snapped his fingers, bringing the fireplace roaring to life. There was new magic in his veins he’d been trying to untangle. Ever since Hybern, Lucien had practically simmered with it. Flame like he’d never seen, bright and hot as the sun itself. It looked a lot like his fathers, like his brothers, but it didn’t feel like it.
He’d been hiding it, terrified if Eris learned, he’d have him killed. Lucien simply didn’t need any more enemies. He didn’t want Autumn, besides, and had to believe the world wouldn’t be so cruel as to force him back to the place that held so much misery for him.
When he and Feyre had trekked through, all he’d been able to think about was Jesminda, after all. What would she make of all this, he wondered? She’d hate Elain, he decided. He’d been trying to decide whether she’d like his mate or find her unworthy. Lucien had his answer at long last. Jesminda had always railed against the people closest to him, frustrated they didn’t treat him better, didn’t love him well.
You deserve so much more, she used to say. He’d believed it once, but now…gods, Lucien didn’t think so. Surely, after centuries of swallowing immeasurable bullshit, things would have started to look up? He’d thought so, for a moment.
Now, though…
Lucien sighed, trudging upstairs to a room clearly meant for guests. He’d stumbled into Feyre and Rhys’s room and nearly gagged on the scent of them. The room at the far end of the hall—the one that overlooked the river—smelled faintly of lemon and dust. Better than the smell of sex, he decided. It made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.
Lucien didn’t bother to turn the lights on which caused him to slam his shin into a chair he hadn’t seen in the gloom. Ripping open the heavy, dark curtains allowed for gray light to filter in. There was a bed large enough to accommodate someone with wings, a dresser, and a bookshelf holding a haphazardly stacked collection of books on war. Cassian must have been here last, he decided.
The bathroom was large—Rhys had that going for him, at least. Lucien peeled off the Illyrian leathers, wincing when it ripped the hair from more sensitive places. How did Cassian and Azriel stand them, he wondered? Lucien would be glad never to wear them again. He hoped to have no cause to ever wear them again, though he figured that was asking too much. There was a death god tethered to a lake and a gaggle of humans trying to enrich themselves at the expense of the world itself.
And his mate, of course, comfortable with potentially damning them all for a human lifespan of happiness.
Lucien sank into a tub of scalding water, almost embarrassed by the noise that escaped his throat. It was something between relief and a sob. Looking at his forearm, he found proof of the bargain he'd made with Feyre, inked in black and white. Pretty vines wrapped from his wrist to elbow, with delicate, autumn-like leaves hanging gracefully from the stem. He traced the pattern with his finger for a moment before relaxing against the cool, smooth surface of the tub.
His muscles loosened beneath the water, a reminder that he’d run across that battlefield looking for Elain. He hadn’t known she’d gone back to the human—all he’d heard was that she’d been captured by Hybern and was being held as a prisoner. His fear had overridden his good sense. It had been Azriel who’d gone and rescued her, and Elain who’d turned right back around for the human who couldn’t even keep her safe.
Lucien closed his eyes, trying desperately to banish the image of Elain from his mind. She’d made her choice and he wasn’t going to beg. Wasn’t going to get on his knees and ask her to give him a chance. All he’d ever had was his dignity, and he’d be damned if he threw all that away, now. She might be his mate, but that didn’t mean he owed her anything. Mate in name only…but Jesminda had been his love. She’d died for that love, defiantly refusing to disavow him even when Beron offered her the opportunity to save her own life. If she’d been alive, would he have wanted Elain?
No.
He almost couldn’t hate Elain for her choice. Lucien hated her for making it and for getting what he hadn’t—the chance to be with Graysen, who had survived the war. It seemed so supremely unfair that Elain got everything he’d been denied.
It was simply easier to hate her. As he laid there in the water, covered up to his chin, Lucien let whatever feeling he might have had for her solidify into something cold and unforgiving. It would take centuries of chipping to break through by the time he was done. He could guard this part of himself so carefully, so closely, that no one would even know it existed.
Let Elain have her dalliance with the human. He’d die, and she’d have nothing. And Lucien…Lucien had nothing, anyway. How long, he wondered, would Feyre hold her resolve? Would she still choose him over her sister? He knew Feyre—she simply didn’t have it in her to hold a grudge. Not forever. Time had a way of easing things, besides, especially when you were surrounded by love and happiness. Feyre would have children, would settle into her life and she’d miss Elain.
Lucien thought he’d die if he had to see Elain at every solstice party for the rest of his miserably long life. He could beg his father to take him back—and end up on the same side of the blade Jesminda had. Or he could do nothing.
Travel.
Wander.
The idea seemed to warm him a little. Shifting his aching muscles beneath the water, Lucien let himself imagine living on the continent for a time. Maybe a decade before he moved on. There was nothing holding him to Prythian anymore. No one holding him here anymore. He couldn’t even go back to Jes, whose grave was lost to him. Her family had refused to tell him where she was buried and would likely have killed him before they ever let him say his final goodbyes to her.
Lucien left the bath, drying himself as he solidified his plans. He had more than enough money, collected after centuries of being overpaid by Tamlin, and then overpaid again by Rhys. If he needed more, he could always pick up a job somewhere. Do things he’d always been curious about if he truly wanted to.
It was a nice enough fantasy to put him to bed. Lucien woke to snow falling softly and the smell of cinnamon wafting through the halls. Wrapping a sheet around his waist, he found a little note from Feyre beside a stack of fine clothes that were his style and not the Night Courts. He dressed quickly while reading her note.
You can do hard things—even this.
Love you,
Feyre
The mug of steaming, cinnamon chocolate, felt more like a bribe than anything. Still, he downed it all the same. Snapping the cloak around his neck, and checking his hair one last time, Lucien braced himself to speak to his mate.
And to tell her goodbye.
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✨ Your Future Home Revealed! Choose a Pile for Magical Insights into Your Living Situation! ✨🏠💫
Instructions: Look at the 3 images of the piles below. Choose the pile that you feel most drawn to. Trust your intuition and select the one that resonates with you the most. Once you have made your choice, scroll down to read the description for the pile you selected.
I put a lot of effort into this reading, so please show some love by leaving comments, likes, reblogs, and follow me! ❤️💬✨
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Pile 1: The Empress 🌸 Four of Wands 🎉 The Devil 😈
The Empress represents abundance and comfort, showing that your future home will feel nurturing and filled with beauty 💖. Four of Wands symbolizes celebration and stability, pointing to a peaceful and harmonious home life 🏡✨. The Devil suggests that there may be some challenges or attachments you need to break free from, possibly related to fears about security or overattachment to material things 😅.
In summary, your future home will bring joy and comfort, but it's important to ensure you’re not weighed down by unnecessary fears or unhealthy attachments. Let go of any doubts, and you’ll truly thrive in this space 🌿🌈.
Love this post? Spread the positive vibes by reblogging with your favorite pile number! Remember to like, comment, and follow me for more tarot insights and spiritual guidance. By sharing this post, you'll invite positive energy from the universe into your life. Let's journey together towards enlightenment and fulfillment!
Pile 2: The Star 🌟 Two of Pentacles ⚖️ Six of Swords 🌊
The Star shines brightly, giving hope that your future home will be a place of healing and renewal 💫. The Two of Pentacles shows that balance is key—perhaps you’ll need to juggle finances or manage your time carefully in the move or setup process ⚖️💸. The Six of Swords represents transition, indicating that you may be moving away from a difficult period or relocating to find a calmer, more peaceful environment 🚤💙.
In summary, your future home will bring a sense of calm and healing, but balance and adaptability are needed as you transition to this new phase 🌼✨.
Love this post? Spread the positive vibes by reblogging with your favorite pile number! Remember to like, comment, and follow me for more tarot insights and spiritual guidance. By sharing this post, you'll invite positive energy from the universe into your life. Let's journey together towards enlightenment and fulfillment!
Pile 3: The Fool 🌈 Ten of Cups 💖 The Hierophant 📖
The Fool suggests that your future living situation will be a fresh start, full of exciting possibilities and new adventures 🛤️🎉. The Ten of Cups shows that this home will bring emotional fulfillment and a sense of unity, possibly shared with family or loved ones 💞🏡. The Hierophant indicates that tradition and structure will play a role, so your future home may carry a deep sense of meaning or connection to your values 🏠📜.
In summary, your future home will be a beautiful blend of new beginnings and emotional harmony, with a grounding sense of tradition that supports you in feeling secure and happy 🌟💖.
Love this post? Spread the positive vibes by reblogging with your favorite pile number! Remember to like, comment, and follow me for more tarot insights and spiritual guidance. By sharing this post, you'll invite positive energy from the universe into your life. Let's journey together towards enlightenment and fulfillment!
Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best. Remember to reblog, like, comment, and follow for more cosmic guidance and positivity!
Paid readings (7 questions for just $7) are also available for more in-depth insights and personal guidance! 🌟💫
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