#(girl who just watched the substance voice) wow this is just like the substance

[gaybichon]

if i had to tolerate myself as a person i'd kill us both. this is a sincere vent and not a joke but as i say it i realize i'm just talking about the substance again

[junkissed]

Imagine sweet sweet junnie letting you put make up on him while you're sitting in his lap and he ends up looking so insanely pretty with glittery eyeshadow and cherry red lips that you're moaning at the sight and he grabs your hips to start grinding into you 'why are you moaning so prettily my love? do I look that good?' and oh wow look at that somehow you ended up butt naked with lipstick marks all over 👄

i literally fell off my bed and rolled around on the floor for an hour after reading this oh my god what did i do to deserve this anon you're criminally insane

member — junhui x f!reader genre — smut, fluff word count — 2.5k synopsis — jun wants you to put makeup on him for the party you're going to tonight, but why go out when you've got a gorgeous man right here instead? warnings — reader has a vagina and breasts, nicknames (my love, baby, sweet girl, good girl), a bit of dry humping, fingering, jun has a hair pulling kink (?), marking, briefly mentioned big dick jun, creampie (what did you expect from me), a very improper use of lipstick, established relationship, it gets really soft at times beware

“you should do my makeup,” jun says nonchalantly, sitting in the chair in the corner of your room.

you glance up at the mirror, holding his gaze in the reflection, your hand paused with your eyeshadow brush inches away from your face. “since when do you want makeup for a frat party?”

“since now.” he shrugs, leaning back against the chair and stretching out his legs. your eyes automatically fall to the empty space in his lap before darting back up to his face. “why not? it looks so pretty on you. we can match.”

you give him a look at the sudden compliment, but you set the brush down and turn around in your chair to face him. “fine. what do you want, just eyes? or the whole face?”

he runs a hand through his hair once, blond hair falling across his forehead. “up to you. but i want the lipstick you’re wearing.”

you stare at him for a second, noticing the troublemaking gleam in his eyes that hints at his true intentions. but finally you grin, grabbing the eyeshadow palette from the table and bringing it over to him. 

you could just as easily have him sit in front of the mirror like you had done, but he’s not the only one who can play games. you cross the room and sit down on one of his spread legs; to anyone else, it may seem like an innocent enough gesture, but both of you know what you’re doing. teasing.

you sweep your brush through a glittery powder, a shade not far from yours but still bright enough to stand out. he did want to match, after all. but just as you’re about to apply it to his face, you feel his hands reach out to grip your waist.

“you’re too far away,” he says casually, but you could swear you heard a whine in his voice. he tugs on your hips to draw you further up his leg. “don’t you have to get closer to do it?”

you keep as straight a face as you can as you stand up to adjust yourself, sitting back down so you’re straddling his lap with one leg on either side of his hips.

“is this better?” you ask, sinking down just a little bit more so your thigh brushes against the bulge you had suspected might be there.

he lets out a barely audible sigh as his hands trail down your waist. “mm, yeah.”

you try not to smirk as you bring your hand up to his cheek. “now close your eyes for me, junnie.”

he does as he’s told, pretty eyelashes fluttering shut as you begin to work. each brushstroke spreads the glittery substance across his lids, and you can’t help but smile as you watch his face, studying the way the shadows from the cheap yellow overhead light fall so gracefully across his cheekbones.

you rub at the corner of his eye with your thumb and then stand up, walking back over to your makeup bag. jun huffs, and in your peripheral you can see him not-so-subtly adjusting his pants.

you grab what you were looking for and sit down again, this time pushing down a little rougher on his bulge and eliciting a louder whine from his pretty lips. “forgot my eyeliner pencil,” you say coolly, resting your hand on his cheek again.

“mhm,” he says in a way that you know he doesn’t believe you, but he closes his eyes anyway.

you smudge the dark pencil at his eyelashes, giving him directions about where to look so you can apply it at the right angle, but more than once you catch him staring up at you instead. pretending like the look in his eyes doesn’t make your stomach flutter is probably the hardest thing you’ve ever done.

you finish with his eyes and sit back to admire your work, resting your full weight on his lap. he muffles a groan, but neither of you mention it.

finally, you bring out the finishing touch: the lipstick he’d been admiring earlier. and by admiring, you mean he’s been staring at your lips for the better part of the last hour.

“why are we even going to this party, anyway?” he asks, and you scoff, telling him to stay still as you press the bright red stick to his lips in careful strokes.

“why else do we go to parties? because it’s almost the end of the semester, and i wanna get drunk and make out with mildly attractive guys.”

“well, i’m right here,” he says with a laugh once you give him the go ahead, rubbing his lips together at your instruction. “and i’d argue i look way more attractive than anybody at that party.”

“mm, i’d have to agree. i am a pretty good makeup artist, aren’t i?”

“you are, but you know what would make it even better?” he asks.

you shake your head, waiting for him to tell you. but he doesn’t tell you. instead he cups his hands behind your head and draws your face towards his, pressing his lips against yours. his mouth moves slowly at first but his kisses turn rough when you start kissing him back, lips parting slightly to give him better access.

but just as you start to melt into him he pulls away, studying your face as you exhale deeply. his lipstick is smeared across his chin and you’re certain yours is now too, but you couldn’t care less about what you look like when jun is sitting in front of you looking absolutely fucking delectable.

“now you look perfect,” he says under his breath, and you let out a gasp when his grip on your waist turns tighter, holding you down against his lap so you can feel every part of him. you’re sure he must be able to feel your throbbing heat through his pants, but he doesn’t say anything; he just pulls you back in, his sloppy kisses settling on your lips.

he grinds his hips up against you, slowly, experimentally, and you moan into his mouth in response. you can feel his lips turn upwards into a smile at the sound, clearly pleased with your reaction. whimpers escape you as you chase his lips, desperate for more of him.

his hands that were guiding your hips at first have stopped and you move your hips continuously on your own now, practically riding him over his clothes as you grind across his lap. he pulls away again suddenly, leaving you panting for breath once more.

“why are you moaning so prettily, my love? do i look that good?” he asks. his tone is innocent, though he knows exactly the answer to his question, gleefully ignoring everything you’ve just been doing as he teases you.

“jun,” you breathe out his name, both a plea and a question.

“yes, my pretty baby?”

you moan out loud at his words, and in response he attaches his lips to your neck and begins to suck at your skin. you can feel the waxy stickiness of his lipstick on your neck, and you inhale sharply as one of his hands starts to dip into your pants.

“tell me what you want, my love,” he says, lifting his lips away from your neck for a moment to speak.

your breath hitches as his fingertips brush across the skin beneath your belly button, his touch far too light to do anything but still more than enough to drive you wild. “want you, jun…” you repeat his name, and he hums, fingers skimming lower until you can feel the tip of his finger run through your folds once.

“so wet for me, baby. all this just from me wearing makeup? you’re dripping all over my hand, sweet girl.”

you let out an impatient whine, and he presses another kiss to your stained lips. his eyes raise to meet yours again, and after what feels like an eternity he nods, and your hands jump into action, eager to free yourself from your clothes.

the party and the makeup you spent so much time on are both long forgotten as you fumble to pull your top off. jun smiles, his hands circling around you to grab underneath your ass and hoist you up as he stands up from the chair. he tosses you on the bed in one swift motion as your shirt falls to the floor.

you kick off your pants and jun unbuttons his jeans, climbing on top of you as you tug his shirt up and over his head. immediately his lips attach to your breast, the remnants of his lipstick leaving bright red marks across your skin as his teeth skim over your nipple before moving on to your other breast.

you look down at him and moan at the sight as he works his way across your chest, a trail of red leading down your body as he kisses his way down to your stomach.

you dart out a hand to pull at his hair, stopping him from going any further, and he moans, leaning his head back to strain his hair in your grip.

“you’re not eating me out with lipstick on, junnie,” you say, and he huffs like he’s disappointed but he accepts it, moving up your lipstick-covered body to kiss you once more. 

he hovers over you, almost laying at your side with how close he is to you, and you crane your neck up to meet his lips again. his hand slides down to poke at your entrance and slips one finger into you, then quickly adds a second when he meets no resistance. you gasp and let go of his hair, hands falling to clutch at the sheets beneath you instead, but he pulls his fingers out and hums at your action, displeased.

you find his eyes and study his expression as he grabs your wrists and places your hands back on his head. you can feel his fingers that were just inside you smear your wetness across your forearm. 

“want you to pull on it,” he says by way of explanation, and you nod, winding your fingers through his soft locks. “good girl,” he says softly, and gently he pushes back into you, drawing another whine from your lips.

his pace starts slow, but his hand quickly speeds up when you tighten your fingers in his hair. it’s too easy how he finds the perfect angle that has your eyes rolling back, building you up until you can’t hold back anymore and you’re clenching so hard around him he can barely pull his fingers out to push them back into you.

he doesn’t let up, adding a third finger and bending his thumb to rub at your clit, and before you can say anything to let him know, the coil that’s been building in your abdomen snaps and you’re gushing around his fingers as you let out a constant stream of whines and whimpers, stumbling through your high.

if your ears weren’t already ringing from how powerful your orgasm was, then they’re ringing from hearing the praises that fall from jun’s mouth, telling you what a good girl you are for him and cooing about how beautiful you look all covered in marks.

when you’ve come back down to earth enough to continue, he sits back on his heels, pumping his cock with one hand before he lines himself up with your dripping pussy. he pushes into you, the girth of his cock creating more resistance than his fingers did but still fitting snugly inside you.

you lean your head back and moan, consumed by the feeling of being so perfectly full that it’s hard to focus on anything else but how good he feels. he waits for a moment, feeling you clench so tightly around him as you adjust to his size, and as he waits he takes the time to look at you. 

your face, half covered in lipstick but your features scrunched up in pleasure in that familiar way he could see with his eyes closed. in fact, he does see it when his eyes are closed; whenever you’re not around and he recalls each perfect time you’ve had together, and he pictures the face you’re making right now and he knows how good he’s making you feel, the only one making you feel like this, and how good you make him feel, too. predictable in the very best way.

he feels your fingers lace through his hair and tug gently, and it brings him back to this moment, here and now, your eyes silently telling him—no, begging him—to move.

so, of course, he complies. his hips push against you once, twice, setting a slow but deliberate pace that has you right up at the edge already with hardly anything from him. just the feeling of him inside you is all you could ever want, all you could ever need. 

you moan his name and he responds with a sharp thrust that makes you yelp but feels better than anything you’ve ever felt before. you push your fingertips into his scalp, and he speeds up, nearly doubling his pace. you clench your muscles around him and he lets out a yelp of his own, his rhythm faltering for a second but he recovers quickly.

it’s not long before his hips begin to stutter, signaling his coming orgasm. he leans forward and puts his arms on either side of your head, caging you in with his forearms. he’s so close you can feel his breath on your face, see the dried clumps of lipstick on his cheek. 

he tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear with his thumb before pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose. at this new angle you can feel him so much better, and the gentleness of his kiss is enough to make you fall apart all over again.

he captures your moans in his mouth as he pushes into you a last few times before his own orgasm hits and he’s burying himself as deep into you as he can go, your pussy spasming around him as his cum fills you up.

he collapses next to you, his cock beginning to soften inside you, and you both lay there panting for breath, sweaty and dirty and content.

it takes a while to scrub the makeup off your skin, but you couldn’t think of a better way to spend your time than throwing a makeup wipe at jun’s face and giggling as he chases you around the room, still naked. but eventually the lipstick smudges come off and a warm shower relaxes your bodies, and you help each other pull on pajamas and make a snack and a couple mugs of tea.

“are you disappointed we missed the party?” he asks once you’re in bed together, tracing his fingers along your arm.

you had completely forgot about the party, the reason you had even put makeup on him in the first place. “there’ll be other parties,” you sigh. “besides, you’re prettier than any frat boy i could ever meet.”

“with the makeup?” he asks.

“without the makeup.”

> taglist | @wonderfulshinee @noniestars @onlymingyus @just-here-to-read-01 @wonuziex @enhacolor @yourfavoritefreakyhan @dkakapizzaboy @zozojella @rainyjeno @skzzooyaaa @jwnghyuns @photographic-girl

> strikethrough means your blog cannot be tagged, please check your visibility settings

> join my taglist here!

[tiktokonaclock]

The Siren and The Demon Chapter 9

Note: Sorry for the late update. This cooperate job is kicking my ass lmao. However, the next chapter will be out shortly because it is currently ready to read, I just need to type it on docs. I love you all.

 

It was perhaps the first time Zenet had ever seen the expression of emotion on the emperor’s face.

 His jaw dropped as Dharak flew up in the air. He turned to the ball-shaped creature and they looked at each other for a few seconds. Then Barodius turned his head to the young girl again.

“Zenet, I am going to need to see some proof.”

 Zenet nodded and took her phone out of her pocket. She made a phone call and put it on the dial, holding it in front of her face. Barodius ordered her to come closer with his hand and leaned forward.

 The phone rang a few times as Zenet audibly blew her breath out, trying to slow down her heart’s beating.

“Yes Zenet?”

“Dad?”

 Gill went silent for a split second, which made Barodius think: Could she have lied?

“Zenet, how many times must I tell you not to call me that? What if I wasn’t alone?”

“I am sorry.” Zenet backed down immediately as she watched Barodius’ jaw drop once again. Gill sighed.

“You can call me dad when we are alone, but you need to be sure that we are alone. Do you understand?”

“Yes, I do.”

“How are you?”

“Fine. I called because I- I am going to come a little late to your place tonight.”

“When are you going to be there?”

“Like, around 10 pm.”

“Why?”

“I need to do a little bit of shopping.”

“Okay then.”

“See you, bye.”

It was Gill who hung up. Barodius looked at Zenet. Carefully, for the first time.

How could he have not realized it? It was obvious! The eyes, the chin, the tiger-like way she walked even. Features of his very best friend. How could he be so blind?

“How?” was the only thing he could verbally ask.

She shrugged. “Life happens, I suppose.”

“Tell me the story, from the beginning. When did you find out who your father was?”

“I kind of always knew. My mom had shown him to me when he was on TV.”

“You had a mother? Then why did you end up in an orphanage?”

“They took me away from her.”

“Why?”

“I…I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“Zenet, I will ask Gill to fill me up on details if you don’t. Would you like that?” He asked, eyes fully open and fixated on her.

Zenet’s voice shivered. “No sire. I would not.”

“Then continue.”

“I… She had trouble with substance abuse. Alcohol, heavy drugs. All of that stuff.”

“Where is she now? Is she alive?”

“I don’t know, sire.”

How could Gill have slept with a woman like that?

“Do you know how they met?”

“No.”

“Why didn’t they send you off to live with Gill instead of the orphanage?”

They tried that first but he didn’t accept it.”

Wow. Just wow.

“Is this why you joined the army? To have access into his life?”

“No. I joined the army because military school was relatively easier to get into and it was a boarding school. So I would not end up on the streets when I turned 15 and got kicked out of the orphanage.”

“They just kick you out when you turn 15?”

Zenet looked at the emperor as if he were an alien. Was he that ignorant about the life conditions of the empire he ruled?

“Yes, they do.” She said, putting all her acting skills to use to mask her anger. “No place to stay, no money, no nothing.” She made a gesture with her hand. “My career choices were either military or prostitution. So here we are. I don’t have a sneaky master plan to ruin Gill’s life.”

“Military and prostitution,” Barodius repeated slowly. She almost said same thing but held her tongue.

“What else is that bastard hiding from me?!” He asked. She held out her hands. 

 He looked away, thinking. After a moment of silence, he turned to her.

“Spy on him for me. And I will make sure you don’t end up like the others. Find something useful, and I will reward you.”

A faint smile appeared on Zenet’s lips as she quickly bowed.

“Yes sire. As you command.”

 Ren needed to sit this one out. Her dad did not understand it, so she had to put her skills to use.

 Yet, she was slipping. It took Gill and his partner a short time to figure out who she was.

 “What is the meaning of this, Zenet?” he asked. “I told you to stay away!”

 “I know I know! I just wanted another shot with those brawlers, y’know? Please, just give me this one chance.” She looked around and checked the door before lowering her voice. “Are you going to deny your daughter of this?”

 Well, at least she got more considerate of their secret this time.

 “Fine. But you better not mess it up.”

 She exhaled. “Oh, thank you!”

 Before leaving the main room to investigate the rest of the ship, she sat on the stairs climbing to Gill’s throne-like seat. She put her elbows on her knees as they sat there in silence.

 There was something peaceful about sitting together in silence. In their brief meetings, they would normally always have something to discuss or dispute over.

 Zenet could not help but imagine another life in which they had a proper father-daughter relationship instead of…whatever this is.

 In that life, this environment would probably be a home setting. Maybe the living room, or Gill’s study. She would be reading a book, or studying. And her dad would be working, or serving himself a drink maybe. And there would be silence, similar to this one yet much less tense.

 In that life, Zenet would have a family.

 It was a total disaster!

 She had found nothing on the ship. Absolutely nothing! And as the cherry on top, they had lost to the brawlers! Zenet wanted to choke that bastard they call Shun!

 “That’s it! It’s over! I’m done for!”

 She was sitting on the floor again. But this time, she was alone with her partner.

 “Gill wouldn't-” He tried to say. “He wouldn’t. Right? You are his daughter!”

 “I wish I could say he wouldn’t.”

“Maybe we can talk ourselves out of this. I am sure we can reason with him. At the end of the day, who is more of a natural ally for him than you?” 

 She bowed her head. “I am not good enough, he saw that today. He won't help me.”

 “Would he be so cruel?”

 “You are forgetting we are Gundalian. We are not down with this loyalty thing.”

 “I suppose not.”

 She looked at Contestir with ambition burning bright, like a couple of stars in her eyes. “I figured that out about us a long time ago, Constestir. That’s why I applied to be a slipper agent in the first place.” Her shoulders fell off. “I want to be powerful. I want to have enough power to protect myself so that I would never need anybody’s loyalty to save me. You understand?”

“Yes, I think I do.”

“” That’s what makes us different from the humans. Things like friendship and loyalty mean something to the humans Contestir. The only time we want to work together is when we want to mess someone up. And if you don’t have anybody to have your back, that’s pretty much all you can do.”

“To have power?”

“Exactly. Power, control, money.” She shook her head. “That’s what you should be aiming for if you want to survive in here. More than just to survive, if you want to be seen, heard, or respected. I-” She hesitated for a split second. “I will become someone. Someone who would never be kicked out of anywhere. Never.”

 Not even by Gill. Contestir wanted to add but held his tongue.

Of course, he would make her spy on Kazarina. Of course.

She tried better with the act this time. She remembered what Jesse taught her about acting, Your act should convince you before anyone else. Let loose. Being to aware of the fact that one is acting spoils one’s entire performance.

 Lucky for her, the old hag was so full of herself to realize that she was talking to an impostor.

“Seriously? Those two are planning on overthrowing the emperor?”

“I know right? Can you believe it? Those two are so sneaky!” She bubbled. Her enthusiasm faded as she realized Gill’s attitude towards the news. “And why do you look like that?” She asked.

“Like what?”

“Like you have been betrayed! I thought you would be more excited about all of this.”

“I am.” He said, with the grin that appeared on his lips. “You have done very well, Zenet.”

“Thank you. I am ready for my next assignment sir.” She smiled. “Master Gill.”

 The expression froze on her face as she realized his hand in the air. The red light started to crackle between his fingers. Her eyes opened widely.

“Gill!”

Gill’s face turned to panic as they both looked at the emperor, who appeared on the big screen.

Zenet turned his head down as she let her breath out.

“Yes, sire?”

“You don’t touch that girl, do you understand me?”

“But-”

“I said, do you understand me?”

Gill hesitated for a second. “I do.”

“Good.” Barodius hung up without feeling the need to explain himself any further. Gill turned to Zenet, whose torso was slightly bent over, palms touching her knees as she tried to regulate her breath. Her head was down. And without lifting it, she looked up at him.

Her eyes frightened him.

He had made a big mistake.

“What did you do?” He asked with a low voice, trying his best to hide his fear and look intimidating. “What did you do to make him look out for you?”

No use. She was not scared.

It was his turn to be scared now.

She straightened up. “It is none of your business, Gill.”

“Of course it is my business!” He got up from his seat and came closer.

“I am not going to explain myself to you. Why should I? You have never been a father to me! You fucking left me in an orphanage to fuck off and live your best life! You have no right to ask me anything! I can do whatever the fuck I need to do!”

“Zenet, I am going to ask you one more time: What the hell did you do?!”

“Get the fuck out of my face, you son of a bitch!”

The smacking sound of the slap she felt across her face hung in the air, suddenly cutting the screaming match like a knife.

Her hand went to her cheek. It burnt like hellfire, and the skin had already gotten red.

He slowly moved forward. “Zenet…” He tried to say. But she stepped back, raging. “Fuck off.” She cursed once again. Her eyes, which were ironically identical to his, stared deep into his soul.

“You are going to pay for this.”

[nyxnightshade1332]

Expectations When Expecting (Prologue)

Chapter 14

Chapter 15:

Fighting them had led to nothing more than the multiplication of ghosts in the mini brawl (if it was considered a brawl to literally be running while throwing spells) . She, of course, had resorted to throwing rocks, which surprisingly would sometimes land a hit.

"More ghosts?! They're floating around here too!" Ace cried over the sea of chaotic giggles that erupted from the ghosts. He ducked at another rock that made contact with a ghost, making it disappear with a comedic, "Owie!"

"If we stop to fight, we'll never get anywhere. Let's just keep moving." Deuce gasped, pulling ahead of the group as if to lead them to somewhere safe.

"Sure, but don't act like we voted you team leader." Ace responded, inhaling to try to speak as he ran. "The only reason we're here in the first place is because of that stupid stunt you pulled." Ace accused.

Deuce's jaw dropped at the audacity of the ginger haired boy. "Oh? I'm pretty sure this all started because you tried to shirk your window-cleaning punishment!" He retorted. Ducking behind a wall, effectively leading the group to an escape from the ghosts.

"So, we're bringing up ancient history now?" Ace scoffed, sitting down to regain some energy. "Then if you wanna get down to brass tacks, this all started when this furball torched that statue!" He hissed, glaring at Grim.

"Maybe you shouldn'ta made fun of me, then!" The cat monster yowled indignantly, spitting at Ace, who childishly stuck his tongue out.

"Would you idiots just quit it with the blame game!" Yuu whisper-yelled, gasping for air and shivering. "Holy heck, wow. I'm never doing that again." The girl groaned.

"If you puke, I'm leaving you here to die." Ace quipped, irking her. She shot him her best STFU glare.

"Guys! We're in real hot water, remember?!" Deuce reminded them, handing Yuu a (very crinkled) paper to fan herself. She took it gratefully. "If we don't come back with a magestone by morning, we're all being expelled!"

"Yeah, which is why we don't need you ordering the rest of us around. It gets old real fast." Ace snapped. Yuu opened her mouth to argue again before freezing.

"Yuu! Run!" She heard the voice cry out faintly before hearing the groaning of something heavy traveling through the mineshaft.

"... Guys? Guys shut up." She said, attempting to remain calm.

Ace sputtered incredulously. "No, you-!" He began before being promptly silenced by a distant bellowing. The ginger shrunk back, scampering to be behind her.

"Wh-where's that comin' from?" He whisper-yelled, terror flashing vaguely in his eyes.

The movement began to get louder, bringing the voice with it. "...neeevvvaaa... ...iiivvv... ...ooouuu..." Wailed the disembodied voice as the hair on Yuu's arms raised.

"Ooooh... this is definitely not good." She sucked in a breath.

Deuce shuddered slightly. "Sounds like... it's getting closer..." He pointed out, anxiously rubbing his wrist.

Yuu felt a harsh tug on her sleeve, pulling Ace, Grim, and herself forward, pulling them away from the wall, making them face away from Deuce, who was now behind them. Yuu's eyes caught movement from behind the corner. For a moment, she didn't have a clue as to what she was looking at.

From behind the wall, the group watched as a large, deformed figure bound past them. From the dull lighting of the mine shaft, she noticed its large hatted head glistening as if made out of glass. She felt her heart begin to pound as she noticed a thick, inky substance oozing from its body, nauseating her.

"... What- what is that thing?!" She yelped, scrambling backwards and alerting the beast.

"Stooonesss... ...nevvva give stooonesss...!" It bellowed, making the ground shake with the power it possessed.

Yuu's consciousness seemed to recede, ignoring whatever it was the boys were saying. She stood, frozen at the sight of such a horrible monster that was making its way toward their hiding spot. Instinctively, she wrapped her delicate arms around her abdomen in an attempt to shield her unborn baby from the clear danger.

She shook herself out of the trance-like state in time to see Deuce being pulled back by Ace.

"Are you outta your mind?!" The ginger haired boy hissed at his classmate. Yuu looked into Deuce's eyes, noting a distinct desperate reaction.

"Deuce! Please don't go! It's too dangerous!" She pleaded with him.

Deuce simply looked down before growling. "No! I won't be expelled!" Yuu felt the dread pool in her stomach, realizing exactly what was about to happen. The dark haired boy placed a hand on his magical pen. "No matter what!"

Chapter 16

[onyourhyuck]

Romance On Ice. | LHC | PT 1.

Prologue;; • “Baby you’re playing a dangerous game.” “But I like it, so I’m not complaining.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Synopsis;; • Oh Damin is an aspiring skater coming from Canada to Seoul. She joins a team of multiple skaters, Damin will be training with other skaters, however one skater she instantly comes to dislike.

Genre(s);; • Skater Romance Au, Sports Fanfic/Series, Friendship, Fluff, Rivals To Lovers, Smut!!!

Warning(s);; • Smut!! No minors, Strong language, mentions of graphic injuries, alcohol substance use, mentions of mental health, mentions of toxic friends. NSFW List;; Switch Haechan! Oc!Switch!! Whiny/sub haechan/mean top! Haechan, training room seggs..? Semi-public, pinning, trying to dominate each other, teasing, Hyuck is just mean, Damin is also mean— 😭 everyone’s mean. Jealousy mentions, Haechan’s a Jelly boy. Ice Rink smut…— markings, hair pulling, Orgasm Denial— Oral (M + F) receiving, Face Riding and bondage (blindfold too.)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Seriously mom I only just arrived in Seoul, you don’t have to call me every five minutes.” Damin would say with a slight change of tone being all nervous, her mother on the other line would come up with many excuses such as: ‘come on you never were in Seoul! You don’t know the place, I do! Let me help you around.’ As if she were there in person.

Damin sighs looking over at the taxi that stops in front of her, the driver helping with the luggage from the busy airport, Damin getting in the car. “Mom sorry I have bad signal—ahhh? You’re cutting off bye bye!” She tells hanging up, sighing. Her mother is really protective.

The driver gets inside the front driver seat, looking at the girl as he turns around. “Are you off to the Seoul NCT Skating Camp?” The driver said up front, Damin nodding. “Yes, I am sir.”

“Where did you come from?” The driver asked, the vehicle stopping at the red lights signalling the road. Damin durning the drive was mainly quiet, unless spoken to. “Canada.” He wows as he taps the stirring wheel. “Wow long way! Are you here for the skating competition in December?”

Damin would nod upfront, she shifts forward speaking in more excitement with tone. “Sir do you perhaps know about the skating upcoming competition and World Cup?” The driver’s voice hissed as if it were obviously the most important thing to know if you’re living in Korea.

“Of course! Everyone who lives in Korea watches the skating program the most. How about when the time comes in December I shall cheer you on?” The driver said, Damin laughing a little. “I’d appreciate the support sir!”

The drive weren’t long till the large central training campus was shown, the taxi driver stops midway, the driver getting out to help Damin with her luggage. They bid goodbye and the girl was now officially alone again, standing in front of a centrepiece building with three floors and a wide static roof design. There was a dorm building to the right side much further away with a car park too.

There is a long gate that closes and opens between the timing 8am to 12am. Damin took some time adjusting and observing her surroundings outside, until she finally walks with the luggage moving next to her.

Entering the building she was welcomed with a stuffy warm energy, the summer heat hitting Damin much more than Canada’s weather that has lots of rain lately there; She felt a person rush to Damin on the right side.

“Oh Damin?” The man approaches,, looking around his early twenties, wearing a light white gym comfy tracksuit, light brown soft silky fluffed hair and tannish skin practically floating with clear smooth canvas without any blemishes. The man shows a toothy grin. Damin bowing her head. “Hello, who are you..?” She softly asks, she most definitely doesn’t know this guy for sure.

“I am Baekhyun, your trainer for the next six months.” He sees the young girl immediately bow in a ninety degree angle, Baekhyun witnessing the many eyes watching the girl and him so he kindly brings Damin to face him. The eccentric girl smiling ear to ear with polite and respect. Byun Baekhyun is known for his astonishing creative skating programs and dances, he himself made a new pathway for the sport when no one took it seriously in the past.

He’s one of the greatest skaters and teachers in Damin’s eyes. “Teacher! I’m your biggest fan and- it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Damin would say again, Baekhyun was most definitely caught off guard now if he wasn’t before. He shyly smiles looking down, “yes yes, now don’t cause me a scene because people are already watching us.” Baekhyun mutters, dragging the young girl away from the people’s eye.

“Anyways, now that we’re somewhere more quiet. How was your flight?” Baekhyun wonders, it was a long flight for sure . Damin remarks very nonchalantly, it was pretty easy when you sleep the entire flight away in a second. “It was alright, I slept the entire thing away.”

“You’re definitely not sleeping tonight then.” Baekhyun adds in with a small banter, Damin nodding admiringly. The two bring themselves to the huge ice rink, Damin wowing at the large rink of ice with multiple skaters on it already moving at such high speed.

Baekhyun saw Damin’s face glow up with happiness and excitement, her eyes forming a large O shape, her mouth gaping at the sight of the new area where the cold temperature is like a second home to her and the skating shoes are like her second true feet . He pats Damin’s back in friendly manner.

“Welcome to your new ice rink. Look to your left there are skating shoes, find your size and put them on. Join the others at the rink, they’re all nice people.” Baekhyun explains forward, he didn’t need to tell the girl twice though because she was five steps ahead, putting on the shoes.

He walks away with a short smile at the eager fresh addition to the new team.

The four skaters huddle in the distance whispering and chattering as they observe the new girl who was focusing on the shoe laces of the skating equipment. Jungwoo was spying the most at the new girl. “You see her? Doesn’t she look so cool?” He asks his friend, Doyoung.

The rabbit man side eyes Jungwoo. “You say that about everyone, Jungwoo.” Doyoung responds with suspicious eyes, Jungwoo scoffing. “Pfttt, so? I bet she’s cool.” The third boy skating forward in the middle, pushing himself in between the two older boys hums cheerfully. “I heard she’s from Canada just like me.” He brags forward.

“Honestly no one asked Mark.” The final boy from afar vaguely spoke out. Causing the huddle to go silent and break into awkwardness. Despite the boys being new to each other, there was this one person who no one really got on with. That person going by the name, Lee Haechan.

Doyoung turns to the boy from afar who loops in the air, skating around the huddle instead of joining them. Doyoung speaking with inviting tone. “What do you think about the new skater?”

“Not much.” Haechan claims with a shrug to his shoulders, skating away soon enough further in the ice rink.

Damin took a deep final breathe as she eyes the ice, the first steps of coming on a new ice rink is like a new feeling of biting into a newly type of food you’ve never tasted. To her, using a new ice rink always has a different vibe. This rink, was exciting and joyful. Once those metallic rails holding the skating shoes hit the ice, her body starts to sway left and right like a sea rocking forth a shore in a quick pace. Damin leaping round smoothly about the wide and large round ice rink like a ball buzzing through.

The three boys in the middle would watch the girl jump midway the ice and land on two feet, swirling like a strawberry in a hot warm bubbly chocolate pool. The new skater did not stop there, because when Jungwoo thought she ended showing off, Damin was doing a front leap backflip, successfully skating forward again on feet, coming to the middle once again.

Jungwoo gasps as his hands clap. “You see what did I tell you! She’s cool!” The white hair boy skates forward leaving Doyoung, the older man following behind Jungwoo. Damin was met with two men approaching with a warm smile.

“Hey! Just wanted to say you’re pretty amazing so far. I’m Kim Jungwoo, Seoul’s fastest skater as of right now.” Jungwoo would tell with his hands upfront, Damin shaking his hand lightly. “Wow you’re the guy from Tv who finished within just a minute and twenty seconds his program.” She gawks, it was such a wide achievement amongst the industry.

She’d turn to the black hair man who reaches forward his hand with a half innocent smile. “Kim Doyoung.”

“Kim doyoung..” Damin would repeat, shaking his hand tightly. “Wait you’re— the guy who performed Havana in japan 2016 and won first place!”Damin awed, she met her idols thanks to this opportunity. She’s not regretting this at all.

Doyoung speaks. “Yeah that’s me! I’m surprised you know a lot.” He greets again before he lets go off the handshake, Damin noticing the other guy coming forth with the most uninterested expression.

Jungwoo sighs. “That boy over there is Lee Haechan.” Damin looking over to the boy looking similar to her age skating, his body was light as a feather as well as elegantly pushing against the air and chunks of ice that flew in the air, his reddish brown hair standing out with the blue-cold colours, he twists about until a little bit of his stomach gets revealed from the oversized black shirt he wore.

Damin admires in silence, he was beautiful and aesthetically pleasing to watch skate. “He’s not the greatest person to speak with, so don’t take it to heart at whatever he says.” Jungwoo explains.

“Isn’t he the one who won golden medals in the winter competitions three times in a row?” Damin ponders between the two men who in unison agree. “Yeah, that’s him. He’s the new rising star who hasn’t been beaten yet.”

“My goal is to win the golden medal this season, i’ll do anything to win.” Damin speaks, the two men wowing in respect to the determination. She will have to beat Haechan though, and he isn’t easy.

“You’ll do anything to win, did you say?” The voice speaks behind them causing the three to flinch and turn around, Jungwoo slipping on the ice landing on his back. Haechan glaring down at the three, especially at the girl. “I’m not planning to lose to a noob.” He’d tell in the most groused voice, looking down at Damin already.

The girl glares back as she skates forward to Haechan, the two figures standing in front each other with the same expression; dislike, glaring daggers and rivalry sparking already. Doyoung and Jungwoo watching from afar, as he got help from the older man to help him stand up. Haechan smirks at the girl with an arrogant smile. “Okay, I accept the competition. Try to beat me in December, because I’m certain you’re going to lose miserably in front of thousands of people.”

Damin sassed immediately as her soft voice hit a nerve within him. “I don’t think i need to try, you almost came last to Na Jaemin last season.”

Doyoung’s mouth literally drops to the ice ground beneath then, Jungwoo flinching at the scariest pissed off expression he’s ever seen Haechan make. She hit the most sensitive insecure spot inside the young boy. Haechan growls a little, about to say something.

But someone finally interrupts. “Alright Skaters huddle here!” Baekhyun shouts, whistling to call them over where he’s skating with his shoes. Haechan glaring down at Damin. “You’re lucky he came out.” he said before sliding away, going to Baekhyun.

Doyoung looks at Damin whispering. “You certainly have war now with Haechan if you didn’t before.” Damin shrugs unbothered, she stated her opinion. She thinks Jaemin should’ve won the golden medal.

“Oh well, what’s he going to do that will make me living here hell?”

Little did she know she’s foreshadowing the future where he will legitimately make living here hell for her.

Masterlink to “Romance On Ice” Chapters.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

@onyourhyuck please refer from translating, copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank you!~

REBLOG! | LIKE! | Follow Me For More!~ It helps to promote this Fanfic a lot~~ <3 thank you readers

[imagintheworldaway]

Addict Pt2

A/N wow this is a lot 

Addict Prologue -- Addict Pt1

WARNING: DRUGS, A LOT OF EMOTIONS

Requests: Open :)

I sat on a bench, next to the river. My eyes trained to the windows that were alight with people and happiness. The silhouettes of bodies dancing and catching up caused a deep pain in my heart, knowing once upon a time I would have been at the top of that invitation list, hell i would have been one of the hosts. And yet here I sat alone, the ghosts of my friends, well, ex-friends mocking me. 

It started slowly. At first when Harry introduced me to his group of friends they welcomed me with open arms. They loved me, everyone wanted me around and wanted me in their pictures and videos, relishing in the publicity I brought them. Through these connections genuine friendships blossomed. At least that's what I thought. As soon as Harry and I started to dive deeper and deeper into the world of illegal substances, more people disagreed with this life we were living. People started retracting slowly, letting me fall, they held onto Harry, i was the sacrifice they had to make to save their friend. I understand they all had good intentions but they saved Harry, why wouldn’t they at least try to save me? Harry was all I had left, and all he did was use me for a good time, or did I use him? I think honestly it was a bit of both. But he was all i had and he was slowly slipping through my fingers. 

I placed a cigarette between my lips, the dry paper struggling against my equally dry lips. “Stop smoking cigarettes, it's bad for your health” a familiar voice scolded from next to me. I didn't even have the energy to allow a smile to grace my lips. “I think i’m a little too far for that '' my raspy voice responded as i let my eyes drink in the figure next to me. His comforting frame called to me as he pondered his next words. “You could let it all go, let gravity win, bring you back” his voice wrapped me in warmth as his words tried to pull me back to earth. I just chuckled. “Fuck this, i have tied my noose, its been around my neck for so long, its like a necklace at this point” my thoughts of how i knew i was killing myself being spoken out loud for once. 

My eyes met the deep blue ones of Harry. “You need to handle your shit, I know you, we came into this together, you can pull yourself out” he pleaded with me, his eyes glossy as i finally stubbed out my cigarette and threw it into the water a few metres away from the bench we were sitting on. “Please don’t pretend that all of a sudden you care, because i know you don’t” i smiled as the truth of my words hit him, his face wavering for a moment, confirming my own allegations. “It isn’t that I don't care” Harry's soft voice graced my ears as a cold hand touched my knee in reassurance. “Then what?” I questioned his stare and searched his eyes for the answer. “It’s that, I'm too scared to lose you. So scared in fact that I thought pushing you away was easier than facing the reality of our situation” he sighed, retracting his hand. I missed his touch so much, it’s what made me feel safe. 

I bit my lip pondering his words. “Bullshit” was all i said, averting my gaze to look at the water, i saw the pain on Harry's face as i called his bluff. “You say you’re too busy saving everybody else? Bullshit Harry” i scoffed. “You saved yourself, our friends chose you, you are the miracle story, whilst you all stood by and watched the already tainted girl fall further into the hole. Just using her for clout. But i- i, I can’t apologise to myself for your actions any more, yes it is true i’m fucked, but you could have taken me with you, you are the one who chose to let me go” i spat, warm tears rolling down my cheeks as Harry sat there silently, taking in my words. An ashamed look painted all over his face as the abandonment which I had felt for years was now being installed into him instead. 

I didn’t even look as I heard Harry stand up and pace a little. “It’s not like i didn’t love you, i just didn’t know how to love you and not the addiction” i said, his own tears showing as his croaky voice revealed his truth. A smile graced my lips and a small chuckle left my lips. “Well that’s just it” I said looking up and locking our eyes once again. “All I am now is my addiction” I admitted, standing myself, my hand reaching for the wall to steady myself as i faced Harry. 

“I just wish you could get better” Harry whispered. I started to notice the noise of the water lapping below us and the familiar noise of the city as the high of the chemicals started to wear off. “I will, I can” I pleaded with the man in front of me. I watched as Harry opened his mouth but nothing was coming out. My eyes went into a frenzy as my breath quickened and I watched as nothing was making sense. “Harry? Harry!” I screamed as the figure in front of me slowly just vanished and I was brought back into reality. I screamed into the water as my hallucination ended. My eyes darting back up to the window as the realisation that Harry was still somewhere in that apartment and was never really here slapped in my face. 

I stumbled backwards, my handbag and finding the little baggie. I just dumped it on my phone and snorted up as much as my body would let me. The fine particles filling my nostrils as I inhaled the mountain of powder. After a few minutes i just grabbed the little baggie and the it screaming “FUCK” as everything was just becoming far too overwhelming for me. I stood on top of the bench, hot tears that had once stopped now streaming down my face. I grabbed my chest as I felt my heart start to fasten to an unholy pace. The world started spinning around me and before i knew what was happening i felt my eyes get heavy and the cool concrete of the pavement slam against my tear stained cheek.

[inkandpen22]

Permanent Chaos (5/?)

Pairing: MGK x Female!Reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: none

Part Summary: Colson and Y/N talk over coffee and Colson shows her a hint of what it’s like to be a part of his world. 

Masterlist

The Starbucks in the courtyard has since emptied out with everyone having to return to work after their breaks. Colson and I are two of the only remaining people inside. My hands are wrapped around cup, it’s nice and warm. I had to remove the lid to cool down the substance. We’ve been going back and forth, sharing facts about ourselves. 

"Have you always wanted to be an actress?” 

Studying the dark brown drink in my cup I recall memories from before I moved here.“No, in all honesty. I never saw myself as an actress.” 

He doesn’t try to hide his surprise. His stunned reaction makes me giggle. 

"If you don’t mind me asking, why do you do it then?” 

I sway my head from side to side. “It sorta just worked out. I was out shopping with my mom one day when I was in high school. Nicole approached us. She was in town on business and encouraged me to at least visit Los Angeles so we could set up a meeting. The next thing I knew I was in auditions and I got my part on The Seasons of Life a few months later.” 

“Wow,” his brows remain raised as he glances down at his drink. “If you weren’t acting what would you be doing?”

Sitting up straight, I remember what I once thought was my dream life. “First I would go to college and…” I wave my hand, dismissing the thought. 

Colson presses for me to say it. “you’d what? Come on!” He chuckles, grinning brightly. 

Rolling my eyes, I tell him. “I’d go to art school.” I bite my lip timidly. “Yeah... that would be nice.” I pick at the cardboard wrap on the cup. 

There’s a comfortable silence between us until I change the subject. “Enough about me! What about you? If you weren’t a singer, where would be right now?” 

He looks over in the distance, almost envisioning where his life would be. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” he shrugs but is pleased, “I’ve always loved music. Being in music allows me to do what I love.” 

I nod, almost impervious of him and his contentment. 

“However,” he adds pointing at me. “If it were up to my parents, I would have some office job probably.” 

"Eh, those jobs are so bland. I vote you stick to concerts," I giggle. 

He laughs and it’s contagious. 

My gaze lands on his arm as he reaches for his coffee. His entire arm is covered in ink. I was taught by my parents to despise tattoos. My mom would say, “why would anyone ever be willing to damage their body like that?” Finn jumped on that bandwagon. Whatever Mom says is considered fact to him. For the longest time, I agreed with them. That is until I met Colson. He was made to have tattoos. 

 I’ve seen many people in this city with tattoos but his aren’t just markings for the body, they’re art. 

“Which one are you interested in?” He questions, watching me as I admire them. 

“All of them,” I mumble, examining each one individually in awe. 

Back where I’m from tattoos are frowned upon quite frankly. When you grow up in a place no different than Pleasantville, that’s what you get. Especially, in South Carolina. 

“Do you have any?” He asks with amusement in his voice. 

I shake my head rapidly, “never in a million years!” Comprehending how he could take my response as an insult I’m quick to explain. “I mean, I would never be allowed.” 

His brows scrunch together. "Never been allowed? You’re an adult. Who’s stopping you?” 

I can’t help but snicker a little. If only it was as simple as he makes it sound. “My parents, brother, Nicole, Steph..." 

Colson narrows his eyes at me as he leans forward in his chair. “You’re your own person. You should be able to make your own decisions.” His argument is lacking and quite frankly too optimistic. 

“It’s complicated…” My eyes fall onto my fingers picking at the cardboard rim of my coffee cup. 

“If you say so… except all of them are keeping you from expressing yourself.” 

I roll my eyes as my lips form a smirk. It’s unbelievable, he makes everything sound so black and white. “You’ll never understand,” I conclude. 

“I understand more than you think.” 

Lifting my eyes up, he stares at me with a sincere expression. 

“Prove it,” I challenge him. 

Based on the change of his features, I have given him exactly what he wants.

"If you say so, Princess," he chuckles, rising from his chair. I stare at him in confusion and he offers me his hand. "You coming?" 

I smirk, slipping my hand into his. He grins and bites down on his lower lip. I'm going to regret this. 

_______________________________________________

Driving around with a guy I’m only acquainted to is completely unlike me. Everyone who knows me would be beyond freaked out at the current scene. It's kind of riveting. 

“We’ve been driving for almost an hour," I snicker. 

“It’ll be worth it, trust me!” 

“Where exactly are we going?” 

“The mystery is half the fun!” Colson enjoys the antics. 

I reach forward and change the radio station. Yungblud's "Parents" plays and I leave it. "Love this song," I mumble to myself. 

Colson glances over me, evidently surprised. "You know Dom's music?" 

"What? Just because you view me as a 'goody-two-shoes' doesn't mean I live under a rock." I giggle and hold my finger for him to wait a second. He chuckles. I begin to rap the lyrics from memory. "Yeah, the teacher fucked the preacher. But then he had to leave her. Had to wash away the sins of a male cheerleader. Hi, nice to meet ya, got nothing to believe in. So let me know when my breathing stops!" 

Colson turns up the volume to blasting and we then shout the chores together. I can’t remember the last time I had the chance to drive with the windows down, blasting music, and acting my age. I’ve forgotten what’s it like to just be a young girl, not working all the time. 

Once the song fades out, he turns down the volume. 

"So, she can rap too!" Colson looks at me, rather impressed. 

I dismiss his compliment with a wave of my hand. "Only if I've listened to a song a dozen times." 

"Not gonna lie, that was hot," he chuckles. 

Warmth rushes to my cheeks and I struggle not to smile. My head rests against the window as I watch the ocean become a blur as we drive down the PCH. 

_______________________________________

Colson drives down the road until there’s a dead end. To my surprise and then confusion, he parks the car. 

“We’re here!" He announces before jumping out of the car. 

There’s nothing here. Bushes, sad-looking trees, and dirt. I watch as he walks over to a clearing between some bushes. 

He peers over his shoulder. “You coming?” 

I take a deep breath and swing open the door. Following him to wherever we are, I spot a sign. 

                                   No Trespassing! 

“Hey Colson, that sign said no trespassing. We should go back.” 

He doesn’t even slow down as he walks down a weak path. “I’ve seen it, they never do anything.” 

With every passing moment, this road trip becomes more and more out of my comfort zone. Nicole and my entire team for that matter have guided me to prefer the indoors these past few years. I can’t remember the last time I spent an entire day outside in nature or not following a schedule. 

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel when the brush ends and the path opens up to a clearing. The sound of waves hitting the cliff before us echoes throughout the area. 

I cautiously step closer to the edge and look down to the bottom. “Wow!” I say to myself breathlessly. 

Colson peers down to the shoreline beside me. He then suddenly removes his jacket and moves on to his shirt. 

My jaw drops and I quickly direct my attention to the coastline far from him. I bring my hand to the side of my face shyly, blocking my sight of him undressing. “What the hell are you doing?” 

He chuckles behind me. I’m glad he can find so much amusement in my discomfort. “Cliff diving!” He says a matter of factly. 

“What! No you couldn’t! It’s illegal in these parts! You could get killed!” 

“Or, I’ll jump, have loads of fun and do it again!” He debates. 

I huff, crossing my arms over my chest. “Fine, you live out your death wish. I won’t be participating!” Whipping around and avoiding even sharing a short glance with him, I stomp toward the direction we came. 

He drops his shirt on top of his jacket in the grass and jogs to catch up to me. He squeezes my shoulder, using the other hand to plea with me. I whip my head around to face him. That's when I notice his tattoo-covered chest. 

“Oh let’s do it, Princess!" He encourages. "It’ll be thrilling! An adventure! Reckless! Something different!” 

Did he just call me Princess? No one has ever called me that and he has twice now. 

Colson takes my hand into both of his and I’m thrown off by the action.  “Be spontaneous with me,” he requests softly. 

Currently, I’m debating with myself. The youthful part of me is screaming ‘hell yes! Let’s do this!’ The businesswoman part of me is wiser than to take such a risk. I check over at the edge again. My willingness to do such a rebellious action is new to me. There’s no one here to see us. Paparazzi isn’t around to take pictures. Perhaps the cause of my newfound bravery is because of him. 

I take a deep breath and nod. “Okay, let’s do it.” 

As if he already knew I would eventually accept, his grin only grows. 

“Well then, I suggest you strip unless you prefer to sit around like a wet dog for the hour ride back.” He winks at me, biting his lower lip. 

In a normal case, I would be insulted by such a forward request but considering where we stand I find it humorous. After thoroughly checking the area for any cameras or strangers, I slip my dress over my head then kick off my wedges. An odd feeling stirs in my stomach and my heart is pounding. My comfort zone is shot to hell. 

Tossing my hair up in a ponytail, Colson scans my appearance. 

“Excuse me Mr. Baker, it’s not nice to stare,” I tease, yanking at my finished ponytail to tighten it. 

Unfazed, he snaps out of it and faces the shore. His hair wisps around in the breeze, falling over his face. The perfect strands are just as light as his eyes. His jawline could cut a diamond. His skin, as smooth as porcelain but covered in various tattoos. 

“Excuse me Miss Voss, it’s not nice to stare,” he repeats my words back to me. 

I snap out of my daze. “Wasn’t staring,” I argue, now turning towards the coast. 

“Nothing to be ashamed of, I know I'm hot.” His lips curve into a loose smirk. 

My time with him is often one big eye roll. I slowly approach the edge of the cliff, peering over. 

“Nervous?” He checks, looking down at the water for himself. 

“Nope." I lie. 

“Scared?” 

“No.” 

“Have you jumped from a cliff before?” 

I exhale deeply. “No.” 

He shifts his body to face me and I flicker my eyes to the side to meet his gaze. 

“And you’re not afraid?” He checks. 

“Not at all,” I admit without hesitation. 

He snickers, whether it be because he’s impressed or he doesn’t believe me. “How come?” 

I shrug, a brief hum for an answer escaping me. “The unknown doesn’t scare me, only challenges me… and I love a challenge,” I wink with a sly grin. 

His warm hand interlocks with mine and I nearly yank mine away yet because of the non-threatening look in his eyes, I stay. In fact, a part of me likes the feeling of his large hand in mine. It makes me feel safer than I have in quite some time. 

“On three” he exhales, staring off into the distance. 

I nod. 

“One," he counts. “Two...”

I exhale. I can't believe I'm doing this! 

"Three!" Colson shouts. 

I jump. Out of instinct, I squeeze Colson’s hand tighter. My voice travels in a scream as the two of us fall towards the crystal blue surface. He was right, this is such a rush! We torpedo into the water and the cold temperatures engulf me. Colson and I lose touch at some point then I kick to the surface. Wiping the excess water from my face, Colson pops up from under the water in front of me. Somehow even when wet and disheveled his hair still appears effortlessly pristine. 

“Wasn't that a rush!” His arm snakes around my waist. 

A part of me is begging for me to protest but I suppress that part of me. Instead, I rest my arms over his shoulders. He takes the opportunity to guide my legs around his waist. Shading my eyes from the sun with my hand I measure the height of where we jumped. 

Still struggling to catch my breath, I can’t help but smile widely. “It was a one-time opportunity!” 

“That’s up to you to decide!” he argues wittily. 

I lower my hand and his blue eyes see right through me. My eyes flicker down to his lips and impulsively, I slam my lips to his. I'm not sure what comes over me, but I needed to kiss him. Colson wastes no time, bringing a hand behind my head, deepening the kiss. We break apart only to catch our breath. 

“I believe you’ll prove to be a bad influence,” I say lightheartedly but between the lines with the utmost seriousness. 

“That depends on how you look at it,” he argues, his breathing inconstant.

Hungrily, he brings his lips back to mine and I melt into it. Colson is everything that’s bad for me. He’s an indulgence that’s disguising itself as a need. He’s toxic and I’m ignoring the warnings. The warmth of his palm radiates onto my face as he cups it. 

Against my lips, he grins. “You were spontaneous! Always be spontaneous!” His words, nearly sounding like a beg, settle in me. 

His crystal blues eyes stare into mine and I can’t help but be addicted. I'm falling for a fairytale.

________________________________________

Masterlist

Tags:  @canyoubuymetoast​ @bri-3530 @asil1652 @andstilltryingtofindmyself @nadia2021 @olafsidehoe @mgkobsessed @fairywriting101 @ferrell-cat @naylanae-0308 @tonystarkswife10 @alexsa56 @brocksbabyyy @stormrider505 @magnificenthumancopangel @sarcasticfangirlus @lilramencup95beech @missyviolet123 @skeleton-gxrl @glitterybearllamaflap @margaritaville20 @amoresixx @thysagclub​ @hockeybabe87​

[fific7]

Cold Day in Hell - Part 2

Logan Delos x Reader

A/N: This does not completely follow canon, it’s mainly lemon zest 🍋 because the world needs more Logan Delos.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, including oral, between consenting adults* in some chapters. Drinking and swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My GIF)

Logan went back to his own office after showing her to hers. He sat down in his plush office chair and swivelled slowly from side to side, picking up his pen and tapping it on the desk as he did so. He was thinking. How was he going to approach this?

Unusually for him, Logan wasn’t 100% convinced that she was attracted to him. That was something of a departure for him; the norm was that he would just look at someone and that was it, they were putty in his hands. Not this gal. He thought she might be interested but he could tell that there were walls up there, that was for sure.

Should he ask Juliet? She was dead set against him getting involved with this new lady, but it might be worth listening to one of her lectures if he got some useful ’women’s perspective’ advice at the same time. He got up and strolled the short distance down to her office, knocking and popping his head round the door. Juliet looked up from her screen at him, “Hey, Logan... what can I do for you? I’m right in the middle of something here.”

Irrespective of her comment, Logan went into the office and sat down in the chair opposite her. Sighing, Juliet put her screen lock on and lounged back in her own chair. Knowing him as she did, she could tell just by looking at his face that he was in thinking mode, in fact he wasn’t even looking at her; he was staring at the back of her big computer screen, a sure sign that his mind was off somewhere else. “Logan!” she said firmly, and his eyes snapped to hers, “I’m busy here, darling brother. What’s on your mind?”

As Juliet had been expecting, he said the name of their new secondment. Then he held up a hand, “Now I know you don’t want me to go there, Jules - but I’m serious here. She’s not a one-and-done in my mind.” Juliet snorted, “What then? A two-and-done?!” Logan rolled his eyes, “Ha ha, very funny. No. I’m thinking of something a bit more... established than that.”

Juliet’s eyes widened, “You mean....” her voice took on a mock awestruck tone, “...a relationship, Logan?” He nodded, “Well... yeah. I suppose you could call it that.” She sat forward, eyes boring into his, “No! I just don’t believe you. Look, you’re the guy who’s out on the town every night with a different person. Or occasionally someone you’ve taken out once or twice before. You are just not a monogamous kinda guy! I don’t want you to mess around with this girl!” Logan crossed one leg over the other and made a point of studying his nails, “I know you don’t, but I want to take her out. And I’m gonna take her out, Jules. She can make her own mind up if she doesn’t want anything to do with me from there on.”

Juliet muttered something and Logan leant in a bit, “Whaddya say, sis?” She looked him straight in the eye, “She probably doesn’t want anything to do with you right now, never mind after you’ve taken her out. Your reputation proceeds you, Lo.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d spent a little time arranging the few items you’d brought with you onto your new desk. Your laptop, your favourite pens, a ruler and a stapler. That was it - you liked to travel light. And anything else you needed, you were sure Delos Destinations would be able to supply by the kilo-load. Logan had said to you, before disappearing back to his own office, “I’ll leave you to settle in, and anything you need.... just ask!” There had been the merest hint of a wink accompanying that last comment, but you’d poker-faced it and just said, “Thanks, Logan.... I’ll bear that in mind.”

You so wished that he wasn’t as handsome as he was, as you had to admit that this made it quite difficult to concentrate on your projects. Shaking your head, you pulled up the folder for one of said projects on your laptop and began work on it.

Hopefully Logan would just keep to his own office. Otherwise you weren’t sure how much work you’d actually get done. Your eyes would be too busy drinking in the male masterpiece that was Logan Delos.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan walked dejectedly back to his office. The visit to Juliet for advice had been a complete and utter waste of time. All he’d got was one big rant about keeping far away from his new love interest. Well, he wasn’t about to do what she said, he’d be damned if he would.

Back in his office, he took to swinging from side to side in his chair once more. He really didn’t have a clue how to start his campaign to win her over. Logan just wasn’t used to having to chase down anyone he was interested in, so this was a bit of a new challenge for him. Should he go all out and whisk her off somewhere in one of the private jets? Take her out on the company yacht? Pick her up in a limo and take her to a premiere?

Or should he go low-key, ask her out for a coffee and see how that went down? Build it up from there? He’d picked up his pen once more and as he got more and more frustrated, threw it across the room where it bounced off the door, dropped and skittered across the floor. A couple of seconds later, his secretary knocked and opened the door, “Did you need something, Mr Delos?” “Uhhh.. no, no, it’s fine, Stacy, sorry about that.” She gave him a bit of a look, nodded and closed the door.

He sighed and thought to himself that he’d better get ready for these upcoming investor meetings in Seattle the following week. He sat bolt upright in his chair, smacking his forehead. Of course! Why hadn’t he thought of that sooner!

Three days in Seattle... just the two of them.... perfect!

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You heard a small tap and then Juliet’s head appeared round the door. “Welcome!” she smiled, coming into the office and over to you, giving you a big hug. “I’m so pleased you’re here!” You agreed, “Yes, I’m pleased to be here. It’s lovely to see you, Juliet.” “It’s going to be so much easier all round,” she said, before sitting down opposite you, “...it’s going to make a big difference to the status of the projects.” She paused, her eyes - so like Logan’s - gazing into yours, “And.... I don’t mean to sound off-putting, especially on your first day... but I’m guessing you already know that my brother is really quite taken with you?”

You gave a small smile, “Umm... yes I kind of did get that vibe.” She nodded, “You’re a damn good engineer and that’s a big part of the reason you’re here, but this was Logan’s idea and I’ll be straight with you, he’s busy working out how he’s going to get close to you.”

Laughing out loud, “Juliet, no offence to your brother - who’s a very good-looking guy - but it’ll be a cold day in hell before I go out with him. I know he’s a complete player.” She laughed too, “I’m glad you’re already aware of that. I mean, I love my brother to bits but he is just terrible at relationships! He doesn’t mean to be, but he says he doesn’t know if he could ever love anyone, any one person. It’s not really in his DNA.”

You took a breath, thought to yourself, why not? - and asked, “Is his ...uhh... substance abuse a thing of the past now? Well, as much as it can ever be.” Juliet nodded, a pained look on her face, “Yes, thank god. We had a pretty awful time with him for a while, especially after a... a particular situation in Westworld, but he’s clean now and still goes to meetings every so often just to keep himself in line. I really thought we’d lost him a couple of times, so yes, he’s done really well. I’m proud of him.” “You should be,” you agreed, having seen tears welling in her eyes when she’d mentioned losing him. “I’m sorry I brought that up, Juliet, I shouldn’t have said anything.” She smiled, “Hey, it’s fine. You should know what you’re getting into... or rather not getting into!”

You both laughed at that.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

In the meantime, Logan had asked his secretary to book one of the private jets and two hotel suites in downtown Seattle for the dates of the investor meetings. He was almost bouncing around his office, he was so pleased with himself and his new plan.

He thought he heard the sound of laughter coming from her office, and couldn’t stop himself from going right next door to see what was going on. He opened the door after a brief knock on it, and saw his sister sitting with the object of his affections, the two of them still laughing.

Juliet turned round and said with a smile, “Lo! We were just talking about you.” His eyes narrowed suspiciously, “Oh yeah?” She nodded, “Yeah. Are your ears flaming?” Logan scowled at her, “What have you been saying, Jules?” with a quick, anxious look over at the other woman in the room. Juliet stood up and said, “Oh, nothing too bad, Logan,” giving him a wicked little smile and striding out of the room.

Logan watched Juliet go before clearing his throat and turning back just in time to see her hiding a smile. “C’mon,” he said, “...what did she say?” She shook her head, “Honestly, nothing bad. She was just pulling your strings.” Logan just managed to stop himself saying that she would be more than welcome to pull his strings, before sitting down in the chair which Juliet had just vacated. “Okay... well, what I came in to tell you is that we’re going to Seattle next week...” total surprise on her face, “....to some investor meetings,” Logan carried on smoothly. “Oh now, Logan, why on earth would you want me to go to them?” “You’ll be able to update them on a few of those middleware projects you’re working on. You were so much better than that boring asshole they let do most of the presentation. You’ll wow these guys.”

She was still looking at him as if he’d asked her to go to the moon. “It’s all booked,” he said quickly, a tiny bit of confidence leaving his voice, “...so I’ll give you the dates and schedule, okay?”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Oh, he’s booked it already has he? you thought. Sighing, you could feel your shoulders slump a little in defeat as you agreed to go with him. You knew that your boss wouldn’t be very impressed if you didn’t, as apart from helping Delos Destinations get more investment, you’d be floating your own company’s name out in front of them.

“Who else is going?” you asked, and saw a distinct gleam in Logan’s dark eyes as he answered, “Uhh.. just the two of us. Don’t want to overwhelm them with too many speakers.” He slapped his hands down onto his thighs, “Well, I’d better get back, I’ve got a meeting in 5. I’ll get those details to you asap.” He stood up, “See you later,” and left your office.

Okayyy - just the two of you? This trip was shaping up to be something out of a bad romcom.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan had mentioned the proposed Seattle trip to Juliet as they were both leaving the office, casually dropping in who was going amongst all the other details. She stopped in the middle of the corridor, looking round to see if anyone else was within earshot before saying in an exasperated tone, “Really, Logan? Are you serious? And I suppose there’s only going to be one room available when you get there?!” Logan held up both hands, “No!! You can check, there are two rooms booked!”

Juliet scowled at him, “Logan, I swear - you better be on your best behaviour. She’s only just arrived, so you piss her off this early in then I’m going to be super pissed too!” Logan did one of his over-exaggerated eye rolls, “Oh for fuck’s sake stop worrying, Jules, I’m not about to piss her off. I’m out to charm her.”

“Oh god help her then,” muttered Juliet as she stalked towards her car.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan took your hand as you stepped out of the chauffeur-driven car at the private airstrip. You’d thought about ignoring his outstretched hand but instead placed yours in his. A smile appeared on his face, “Now, this is how it’s gonna be over the next few days - us holding each other’s hands through the investor meetings.” You rolled your eyes, “Whatever you say, Logan.” “I do say,” he smirked, hand going to the small of your back as you reached the bottom of the steps up to the aircraft and guiding you onto them. You knew that his eyes were glued to your rear as you made your way up the steps, but tried to ignore the feeling. Every so often you’d catch Logan’s eyes on you, looking at you as if you were a prey animal and this made you even more determined to avoid getting involved with him.

But lordy it wasn’t easy, you admitted to yourself as you watched him settle his tall frame into the extremely comfortable seat facing yours. You’d never been on a private jet before, but you were having difficulty paying attention to all its facilities when Logan was looking absolutely edible in an impeccable dark blue suit and light pink shirt, unbuttoned quite low as usual and showing off a little chest hair. Your eyes met his after you’d finished exploring his body, and he was looking so smug you wanted to punch him. Damn! You’d better be more guarded in future when drooling over him.

Now you started showing an interest in the interior of the plane, but every time you caught Logan’s eye he was still smirking at you.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Ha! he laughed to himself, he’d obviously chosen the right suit then. He’d taken particular care when dressing that morning as he’d wanted to look really good for her and it seemed he’d made a good choice, judging by the look on her face when she’d finished eyeing him up and down.

He lounged back in his seat, still gazing at her. He wanted to fuck her so badly! His mind supplied a vision of himself climbing on top of her as she sat there, undoing her top, pushing her skirt up and.... He could feel himself getting hard just from that short clip playing in his head right now.

“Wanna fu-...”, he clamped his jaw shut, before carrying on, “...wanna drink, sweetheart?”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You were under no illusions as to exactly what was running through Logan’s mind at that moment.

You’d noticed how his eyes had glazed over slightly as he stared at you, his lips parted, and you could literally see his trousers tightening by the second over his groin. The dead giveaway was when he almost asked you if you wanted to fuck instead of what you wanted to drink. You couldn’t stop a smile making its way onto your lips. There was an undeniable thrill that you could turn him on like this ...but No!!! your brain said. This guy’s middle name is ‘Player’ and even his own sister had warned you what a hound-dog he was.

“I’ll have a G&T, please,” you said sweetly, “...and nothing else, thanks.”

Logan looked stunned for a second, then pressed the call button for the attendant.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Oh shit, Logan thought, she knows exactly what I was thinking. I guess I’m being a little obvious here, I’d better calm it the hell down. He just wasn’t used to playing it cool in the pursuit of someone. Usually he went from 0 to 90 in sixty seconds, and the people he hung out with expected that from him. Not this gorgeous example of womanhood though. He was going to have to majorly change his approach.

But being with her like this - so close, just the two of them - was driving him crazy as it felt really intimate, and while his thoughts were still firmly planted in the sexual receptor of his brain, the longer they were on the plane together the more he realised that he was enjoying just being with her. Which surprised him to be honest, that wasn’t something that normally entered his sphere of relations with other people. She had a very calm demeanour, and it made him feel at ease. Conversation flowed, and he felt like he was getting to know her a lot more.

Initially he’d hinted to his sister that he wanted more than sex from his new love interest to get Juliet off his back, but now it appeared that karma had got him fair and square. It felt like that he did really want something more.

What that was, he wasn’t exactly sure yet.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Checking in to the fancy hotel in downtown Seattle, you noticed the receptionists - male and female - checking out Logan and not being discreet about it. He, meanwhile, was in his element, flirting up a storm with them while handing over his black Delos card to register for the rooms. You shook your head, smiling to yourself. This was exactly what put you off him. You were more than certain that he’d be sharing a bed with one or all of them that night.

He handed you your keycard, and quickly noting your room number you took off like a shot towards the elevators. Logan had been surprised when you’d set off so briskly, and scrambled to grab his bag and suitcase beside the reception desk before following you.

He reached the elevator just as you turned, smiling at him and commenting, “Have fun with your new little friends,” and nodding your head back towards reception.

Hitting the ‘close doors’ button, you were still smiling at him as the doors closed.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan scrabbled at the ‘call’ button but not quickly enough to stop the doors closing in his face. Damn it! The other elevator arrived after a couple of moments and he rushed into it, wanting to catch up with her. What had he done wrong? She’d seemed pissed off underneath that smile. And what did she mean by his ‘new little friends’? Then he realised what had ticked her off - he’d been doing his usual flirting with the hired help who of course had been flirting right back.

But it didn’t mean anything to him, it was just his usual m.o., didn’t she realise that? He’d obviously need to introduce her to the Delos way of doing things so there’d be no future misunderstandings.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You were just putting your toiletries out in the bathroom when there was a knock on the door. Knowing it would be Logan, you opened the door to find him standing outside still with his suitcase and bag in hand. “Come in,” you invited and he walked quickly inside. You went back to the bathroom and finished laying out your shower gel and shampoo.

He stopped next to your bed and sat on it, waiting until you emerged from the bathroom. You had to admit he looked good on your bed but dismissed the thought and headed over to your suitcase to start unpacking. “I always flirt with the staff,” he said, “...it gets you a better level of service.” “Or just gets you serviced,” you said before you could stop yourself. You heard his deep chuckle as you kept taking items out of your case.

“No, that’s not the aim,” he said, “truly it’s not.” Walking over to the unit underneath the giant flat-screen TV attached to the wall, you began putting the garments away in the drawers then became aware of Logan invading your personal space to look over your shoulder. He was smirking at you and you suddenly realised you were holding a handful of your lingerie. Long fingers stroked one of the silky pairs of panties you were holding and you abruptly shoved them all into the drawer and slammed it shut. “Logan!” you admonished him, but his only reaction was to keep smiling mischievously at you.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan had tried to persuade her to come out on the town with him but she’d decided to stay in the hotel and have an early night. So he’d gone out on his own, heading to a restaurant he’d eaten at before and ordering a steak and some wine. The waitress had been very interested in him, hitting on him shamelessly but he’d politely brushed her off.

There was only one person he wanted in his bed. Not sure how long it’s gonna take me to get her there though, he thought glumly.

What did surprise him was the fact that he was willing to hang on in there until that happened.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Drifting off to sleep, aware of the low sound of the TV in the background, you couldn’t even be bothered to sit up to grab the remote and switch it off. There was a low knock on your door, then a second one - louder - when you didn’t answer the door. Groaning, you got up and went over to it, looking through the peephole to see Logan standing outside.

Sighing, you opened the door and he swept into your room as if he owned it. Then with typical Logan braggadocio he threw himself gracefully onto your bed, propping up some pillows behind him, crossing his ankles and linking his hands behind his head. You rolled your eyes heavenwards and closed the door, making your way towards where he lay. You were damned if he was going to chase you out of your bed. Standing beside it with your hands on your hips, you demanded, “Logan... what do you think you’re doing exactly?” Those dark eyes of his roamed all over you in your short little silk nightdress and he smiled, “I’m lonely.”

“Lonely!” you laughed, “You’re... you’re just... unbelievable!” His smile got wider, “I’m more than willing to prove just how unbelievable I am, but you won’t let me.” “Do you blame me, Logan?” His smile faltered, and he looked away from you, gazing at the TV, “I guess not.” But then those dark chocolate eyes were back on you, “But you could at least give me a chance,” he said with a small but genuine smile.

You felt yourself melt a little, you couldn’t help it. So against your better judgement, you lay down next to him on the bed, under the covers. “Can I get myself a drink?” he asked. “Oh, I see, it’s my mini-bar you’re after, is it? Help yourself.” He got up and headed over to it, laughing and turning back to you, “You know only too well what I want, sweetheart.”

“You can have a whisky, Delos, but that’s all you’re having.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan sighed as he poured the whisky miniature into a glass and made his way back over to the bed. But then he perked up, after all he had made it into her bed - in a manner of speaking - and against all expectations. Now he just had to make sure he didn’t screw it up (again, in a manner of speaking) by hitting on her.

If he got to spend the night in her bed, that would be enough for him - for now.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Your eyes slowly opened and you gave a little yawn, wondering what time it was and thinking that today was the first round of investor meetings, when you suddenly realised that you could feel someone’s breath on your ear and that there was an arm slung over your stomach. You were lying on your side and you moved your head slightly to look over your shoulder, but you knew what you’d see before you did.

Logan. His eyes closed, hair tousled, lying on top of the covers but he’d still managed to more or less wrap himself around you. He shifted slightly, giving a little sigh and burrowing his nose even further into the nape of your neck.

Oh hell. This was really not a good plan, but you couldn’t deny how good it felt to be lying here with him. He looked so deliciously handsome while he was asleep. But also vulnerable. You turned away from him and studied the bedroom wall opposite you.

You really did have to watch how you were handling this, or despite your best intentions you were going to end up getting badly hurt.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Logan awoke from the very horny dream he’d been having, only to remember that he was partly living it in real life. He sensed she was awake - he could tell by her breathing - and he decided to push his luck a bit. He gave a small sigh as if he was still sleeping, and gently rubbed his erection against the back of her leg. He heard a quick intake of breath, and smiled to himself as he felt her trying to squirm away from him but he tightened the arm he’d sneaked over her during the night.

“Logan!” she hissed, “Get that away from me!” He chuckled, “Aw sweetheart, get what away from you?” He further pushed his luck by moving her hair aside and kissing her behind her ear.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You shivered, he’d kissed you somewhere you wished he hadn’t as it made you want to kiss him back so badly. You were very aware of his body pressed up against yours, how good he smelt, how good it felt to be lying there with him almost wrapped around you....

You’d better get him out of this bed before you made a catastrophically bad decision.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

(Not my GIF - credit to owner)

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@obscurilicious @theshadowkingsqueen

[princessphilly]

Word Count: 1975 (you know I start small then build up)

Tag list: @newlibrary , @luvsherleafs @spine-buster , @m00nlightdelights @lovethepreds @myhockeyworld87 @Defiant-mouse, @callllumhood @yzas-stuff , @stars-canucks @laurenairay @cutiesara23, @besthockeyfics @hockeyallthetime @tazerass , @markymarkstrom @letsgobaby, @himbos-on-ice @hockeywocs @bloodthedevil @nhlboyshavemyhart88 @whatishockey @dreamer1430 @shelbsatans

CW: people failing to be mean, some angst. We are still rated pg-13 but we will be hitting NC-17 soon.

Add me to the tag list!

It’s okay to admit that you are enough. It’s also okay to struggle with admitting that to yourself. At least, that’s what I learned when Meghan Markle still had her old blog, The Tig, up online before she became the Duchess of Sussex. Honestly, she’s one of my goals; her father is a trip and she’s managed to live well despite his issues. I’d like to be able to do whatever she did with my mom. - journal 9/2

**

“The man over there says thanks.”

Jamila looked at the waiter, confused. “Um, okay,” she questioned as she looked where the waiter was discreetly pointing. A tall, brown haired guy raised a whiskey neat in salute. Jamila gave him a tentative grin. After the waiter left, she hissed, “I didn’t send him a drink, Lisa! What the hell?”

Jamila had to admit he was attractive but not her usual type. Her type was the outdoorsy type, the kind who could fish, hunt, and actually be able to live off the land if society collapsed overnight. This guy… he looked like money and power, the kind to hire someone to take care of him.

After a moment, it became obvious what happened as Alyssa and Frances came back over. Jamila put on her best movie-star fake smile as those two came by. They were the worst kind of people; backstabbers who even when they got caught, still got away with it because they knew how to suck up to the people in power. Jamila knew exactly why they didn’t like her: she had enough fame left over that she didn’t need to be their friend to earn a good reputation in their phD program.

“Meet any nice guys,” Frances asked with a sly smirk on her face.

Jamila gave Lisa a sideways look as Alyssa said, “I mean, there’s Jonathan Toews, he’s single. I bet he’d be interested in a washed-up actress.”

“Hmmm, I have no idea who you are talking about,” Jamila honestly said.

Alyssa smirked as she replied, “He plays for the Blackhawks, Meena.”

Jamila grit her teeth as Alyssa used her first name. She hated when people used her first name, it brought up too many bad memories. Before she could reply, the attractive brown-haired guy was standing next to her with a faint grin on his face. “Um, hi,” Jamila said as Lisa, Alyssa, and Frances stared at him.

“I figured I’d say hi after you sent me that drink. I would have bought you one but I don’t know what you’re drinking and it wouldn’t be nice to assume. My name is Jonathan,” he said with a flirtatious wink.

Jamila hesitantly replied, “My name is Jamila and I’m just drinking merlot tonight.”

“Another glass,” Jonathan asked, his deep voice doing things to Jamila’s insides. She bit her lip as she looked at him, trying to decide if she wanted to encourage him or not.

“Sure.”

As he found a waiter, Jamila looked at Lisa. Lisa motioned to her phone and Jamila checked her screen. That’s jonathan toews, the guy those bitches were talking about. He plays hockey and is the captain of the blackhawks

Jamila texted back, what is hockey n y should i care

Then the waiter came with a fresh glass of merlot and Jonathan passed it to her. Jamila took a deep sip, loving the taste. Merlot was truly her favorite and they had a good house vintage. Jonathan asked, “Are you new to Chicago?”

“I’ve been here for a year. It’s alright,” Jamila replied. “This is my first time going out on the North Side though.”

Jonathan gave Jamila a slow smile and her breath caught. He definitely was attractive but not her usual type. He said, “Then that’s why we’ve never met til now. I would have definitely remembered such a beautiful woman if I saw you before.”

Jamila giggled. “That’s a good one. You get one point for that.”

“Just one point? Is it an assist or a goal?”

“Um,” Jamila stalled. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

The sly smile on Jonathan’s face turned into a wide smile. This girl was not only hot but he could tell that she was truly clueless about hockey. Tonight was a win-win for him. “I’m going to assume it’s a goal then.”

“Okay.” Jamila shrugged as she took another sip of her wine. “I’m still not completely impressed so you still need to work on it.”

Jonathan laughed, causing some people to turn towards them. Jamila caught Alyssa and Frances giving her the evil eye and she smirked. Reaching out a hand, she touched Jonathan’s upper arm. Jamila had no idea what hockey was but whatever it was, he definitely was built. Jamila turned slightly as she rubbed his arm, making sure that those two bitches could see that she was touching him.

“You like what you feel,” Jonathan asked, his voice slightly deeper with a sultry tone.

Unable to resist the bait, Jamila replied, “Of course,” licking her lips. There was no problem in flirting with him, she thought to herself as he smirked at her.

Jonathan’s eyes were on her lips. She had full lips, made for kissing. Jamila wasn’t his usual type but Jonathan didn’t have a problem with that. “There’s more that you can-,” he started before someone bellowed, “TAZER!”

Jamila whipped around towards the sound, annoyed to have been interrupted before her attention was caught by the kind of guy of her dreams. He was tall, auburn haired, and looked like a lumberjack. He was perfection and he came over to them.

“Duncs,” Jonathan called.

The lumberjack said, “Heyy Tazer.”

Jamila smiled. Maybe this whole drink mix-up thing was working out for her, she thought until she saw her LA friend, Shan, come up behind this Duncs guy. Shan’s brother Alex was with them, his ever present backwards cap covering his hair.

Jonathan loved Duncs as a brother but right now, he was annoyed and pissed. He had been close to sealing the deal but Jamila was now looking at Duncs like he was the last man on earth. Then Jamila gave him a brilliant smile and Jonathan suddenly realized that he was totally fucked.

“Hi,” Jamila purred, forgetting that her hand was still on Jonathan’s bicep. Duncan looked at that and raised an eyebrow at his captain. Jonathan gave him a glare and Duncan made a motion with his hands.

Before Duncan could reply, Shan yelled, “Jamillllaaa!! Long time no see!”

“Hi Shan,” Jamila drily replied, glad she used her preferred name instead of her first name. Shan was a fellow child actress, a Canadian who managed to get supporting roles at Disney over the years before transitioning to a character actress when she became an adult. Shan was the only one whose parents were actually on-set all of the time and paid attention to what was going on. Consequently, Shan was the only one who didn’t have substance abuse problems, etc. and the only one from her former shows that Jamila kept in contact with.

Jonathan looked at Shan and Jamila. “You two know each other?”

Shan drunkenly giggled as Alex closed his eyes. “We were both Disney kids back in the day.”

Jamila sardonically smiled. “Those were fun days.”

“I’m sorry,” Alex replied. “Shan’s got a role in one of the next Marvel movies so she decided to celebrate.”

“Congratulations,” Jamila sincerely stated. Getting a role in the MCU was a steady check and something to celebrate. Then Jonathan took a double take and looked at her and Jamila groaned. He bit one of his thin lips and then he smirked before putting a finger to his mouth. Jamila exhaled and gave him her biggest smile. He recognized her but he didn’t say anything. Jamila leaned over and whispered into Jonathan’s ear, “You just got a second point.”

“Then maybe you should let me have your number,” Jonathan purred into Jamila’s ear.

Jamila smirked, rolling her eyes but before she could respond, Shan slurred, “Wow, Jamila, you waste no time. You were just telling me yesterday that you didn’t know a damn thing about hockey and tonight, you’re talking with Captain Serious.”

Jonathan wanted to shake his teammate’s sister because Jamila shut down, pursing her lips.

Oblivious, Shan continued, “Now, you don’t have an excuse not to go with my brother to the bowling thing.”

Alex face-palmed as Jamila pinched the bridge of her nose. She had totally forgotten about that and of course, when Shan was drunk, she was loud and obnoxious.

Pasting her best fake smile on her face, Jamila said, “I think it’s time for me to go.”

“So soon,” Duncan teased.

Jamila smirked at him, looking him up and down. “I need my beauty rest and to not strangle my friend.”

Jonathan gritted his teeth as he watched Jamila eye his friend. Then she turned to him and blew him a kiss. “It was nice to meet you, Jonathan,” Jamila said, giving him a wink.

Jonathan smiled back and Jamila was taken aback for a moment. There was a promise in those dark brown eyes and she felt her body begin to respond. Then he licked his lips and for a moment, all Jamila could think about was maybe those lips on her body. Slightly shaking her head, Jamila waved her fingers before going to call an Uber. This was a night.

**

After getting home, Jamila tossed her bag onto her front table. She suddenly felt exhausted even though it was barely after 11:30pm. Walking into her living room, Jamila saw her other cell phone glowing. Picking it up, she cursed. There were fifteen messages and ten missed calls, all from Janine. The messages started off nice, asking how Jamila was doing to nasty, calling her all kinds of names for not picking up and giving her “mother” money.

Tossing the phone back onto the table, Jamila sighed. Getting a separate cell phone just for her mother’s calls was the best but it was draining just to look at it.

Janine Brown was a bit actress, stage-mother, and now two-bit manager. Janine had always wanted to be an actress, even when she was attending grad school at MIT for physics. There, she met Jayesh Vyas, a student earning a PhD in computer engineering. Within six months, they were married and expecting a child; after two years, they were divorced after pressure from Jayesh’s parents. Jayesh returned to India and Janine was stuck with an 11 month old baby with dimples made of gold.

By the time that Jamila could remember, she was in front of a camera. Her life as a child was in front of a camera; first as the adorable adopted child in Granger vs Granger, then the youngest kid in The Elliot Show as a young child. Then from age 12 to 17, Jamila starred as Jane Lee in the Disney show, Plain Jane. School was on set. Birthdays were celebrated on set. Everything revolved around a set year round until right after Jamila’s 17th birthday.

The aftermath of that birthday was a stay in rehab, a cancelled show, and living with her dad and stepmom full time in Atlanta.

Jamila promptly deleted all the messages and voicemails before going on online banking. After authorizing a transfer to Janine’s account, Jamila showered, put on pajamas, and grabbed her pink Lepidolite and pink quartz crystals. Sitting cross legged, Jamila worked to calm her anxiety so that she could have a restful night sleep.

But in her dreams, she tried to focus on a pair of blue eyes and a lumberjack look. However, she kept dreaming of a pair of deep obsidian brown eyes, a crooked smile, and a deep voice telling her everything he was going to do to her

[maybe-theres-hope]

Vague tarlos prompt if it inspires you? Any situation involving protective carlos? Love your writing! :)

Hi anon! Thank you for prompting! 

Warnings: references to Rohypnol type substance (though it is not named), potential assault situation. Absolutely nothing actually happens, it’s handled quickly and this is mostly lighthearted. I just wanted to warn for anyone who’s triggered by the situation. 

Carlos didn’t frequent bars much, as a rule. He liked dancing, sure, and socializing; however it was mostly the clientele he didn’t like. Carlos was a cop--he’d seen the shitty underbelly of this city more than he cared to acknowledge, and usually nefarious types like that liked to hang out in places like this: loud, anonymous, and dark. Most of the time his friends didn’t invite him out to clubs and bars because he couldn’t turn off his instincts and thus it made him a little bit of a stick in the mud at times.

Tonight was similar, though he’d allowed himself to let loose just a little. Michelle had bugged him for ages to come out this bar, a hole in the wall that she said he might be able to pick up in, given the atmosphere was pretty welcoming for a country joint.

At this particular moment, just past his third beer, he was beginning to see the appeal.

Standing at the bar and chatting with the girl behind it was the absolute cutest guy he’d ever seen. Compact but muscular, with arms just slightly too big for the sleeves of his patterned shirt. Casual stance, but seeming a little out of place. Probably a tourist. And holy hell, his perfect ass. Carlos was not a shallow guy, but watching as the guy leaned in closer to talk to the bartender and the way the denim pulled over what was probably the most beautiful specimen of a ‘bubble butt’ Carlos had ever seen, he had to admit to himself that he was literally objectifying the guy where he stood.

To his consternation though, Michelle noticed right away. “I see you leering, Carlos. Go, I’m fine here,” she smirked.

“I was not leering, Jesus ‘Chelle. I was just...admiring.”

“Mmhmm. Well? Go talk to him, or I will.”

He snorted. “I don’t think you’re his type at all, chica.”

“You can tell that from way over here? Or are you just hopefully projecting?” She took another sip of her beer and glanced back over to the guy, who was now being approached by another handsome man. The newcomer was tall and lean with a disarming smile that Carlos’ object returned.

“See that?” he said with a nod of his head. “Body language is everything. He’s gay, believe me. Or at least he swings that way.”

“Okay so? Why are you still sitting here? Someone’s about to beat you to the punch.”

Carlos sat and watched as the newcomer said something apparently chuckle-worthy, and the cutie he’d been watching obliged with the sweetest smile and a bashful duck of his head. The tall guy was laying it on thick, and it was apparently working. Carlos knew he’d missed his chance once Tall Guy’s hand slid softly down Cutie’s arm and lingered there for a moment with no rejection. Oh well.

“Too late,” he sighed, turning back to his beer.

Just a few minutes later, he couldn’t help himself checking over again, just to see that gorgeous smile again. However, this time Tall Guy was by himself, no sign of Cutie boy in the tight jeans. The bartender placed a cup of water in front of Tall Guy and walked away to take care of another customer at the other end of the bar. Carlos was just thinking that he actually might have a chance if he could find the guy again in the crowd when his instincts kicked in.

Tall Guy picked up the cup of water, holding it near his hip, between his body and the bar before placing it back on the top. He gave it a quick stir with the straw and left it alone.

Carlos watched him closely, but he never picked it back up. Then, Cutie returned, clearly having gone off to the bathroom or something similar, still with that sweet smile for his companion. His hand reached toward the cup, and Carlos was out of his seat before he could bring it a fraction of the way to his mouth.

“Hey!” he yelled across the room, nearly drowned out by the music but luckily it caught Cutie’s attention just barely. He looked up at Carlos with a startled look, turning to confusion and a little bit of fear, no doubt in response to Carlos’ thunderous expression.

Carlos barely looked at him, his eyes only on Tall Guy as he shouldered his way between them, putting the other guy safely behind his back.

“That how you think you’re gonna get laid tonight?” He gestured to the cup, still held in Cutie’s hands. "Drugging someone so they can’t say no?”

“What?” came the guy’s incredulous reply from behind him.

“I didn’t do anything, man. You’re just jealous I saw him first.” And wow, what an asshole. The guy was standing right there for crying out loud.

“I’m right here, and I’m not a commodity.” This bit was a little exasperated.

Carlos didn’t back down. “I know what I saw, and I know what the consequences are for you if you don’t just turn around and get lost right now.” He took that moment to pull out his badge and hold it up for Tall Guy to see clearly. “Unless you’d like to stay, in which case I’ll start reading you your rights.”

Tall Guy looked sufficiently scolded, but still resentful. Carlos puffed up his chest a little more and took a step into his space.

“Fine, man, fine. I’ll see myself out, officer,” he spit. Carlos turned back to Cutie without giving the guy a second glance.

“Are you okay?” he asked, not able to help the concern in his voice.

“Did you really see him put something in the cup?” Cutie asked. His face had gone a little pale.

“Yeah. I didn’t know what it was, but that kind of thing is never good. I’ve seen some horrible shit at the other end of encounters like that,” he said.

This made the guy’s face turn relieved and overwhelmed all at once. “Thank you,” he said with conviction. He looked ready to hug Carlos, which Carlos himself wouldn’t have minded in the least, but seriously, they’d just met.

“You’re welcome. Not that I don’t think you can handle yourself, but...you know. Cop,” he said with a self-conscious gesture at his badge before stowing it away in his pocket again.

“No, I mean, yes thank you for saving me from a fucking asshole like that but also…it’s...I’m.” He struggled to find words, and Carlos was confused, but he let the man come to the words on his own. “Even more than the physical danger, which I’d probably recover from anyway--”

And didn’t that make Carlos feel even more protective of this sweet, gorgeous man.

“I’m sober. So. The recovery from that would have been...much worse. So thank you,” he said again, looking Carlos in the eye with more seriousness than he’d been prepared for.

Now Carlos was a little overwhelmed himself, but he managed a “No problem.” The man kept looking at him though, so he kept talking. “I’m Carlos, by the way.”

“TK,” he said, offering his hand. “So I have to ask, how did you see him put something in my drink from way across the bar?”

Carlos’ face grew hot. “Umm. Well, I--”

TK laughed. “I was watching you too, before.” His eyes shined in the neon lights behind the bar, and Carlos was lost for a moment. “You’re cute, couldn’t help myself. I can even forgive you for playing for the other team,” he joked.

Carlos figured he was referring to the fact that he was sitting in a booth with a woman, and hurried to correct the assumption. “Oh, no I...Michelle’s just a friend. I’m definitely gay,” he stuttered.

This only made TK laugh more, and even though Carlos could tell it was at his own expense, he wanted to hear more of it. When he’d recovered, he went on. “Oh, I know you are. No straight man knows what colors flatter them that well,” he gestured to Carlos’ green v-neck tee and black jeans. “I meant that you’re a cop. I’m a firefighter. Other team?” He grinned again at his joke.

Carlos just stared at him, face feeling redder by the minute and he thanked every possible deity that this bar was dark enough to hide it. Hopefully. He came to after a moment and let out a startled laugh which brought a bright smile to TK’s face.

“Well, I guess I can make an exception this once and ask you to join us?” he ribbed. “If you’d like. My friend Michelle over there is a paramedic. We can swap war stories and you can forget about the asshole.” He grinned hopefully at TK.

“I’d like that,” was his answer.

Thank you for reading! Please reblog if you liked it :)

[tojakku]

✶ - sugarplums and stardust 

pairing: fpopstar! reader x arc trooper fives                                            summary: you, sugarplum, galaxy-wide adored popstar. fives, galaxy-wide renowned idiot.                                                                                  warnings: rated m for mature! this chapter includes: smut (18+), oral (female receiving), dirty talk, implied rough sex, pee pee in v, the beauty of checking up on your partner, mature language... a hot clone trooper, flirtation... alcohol... etc... fives being a little slut 

THE BARRACKS ARE ALMOST ENTIRELY QUIET. Almost. The centre of Coruscant never quite escaped from the thrum of late-night traffic, or the sing of the planet throbbing right below their feet, through canals and chambers and pipes of sewers crawling with scrap rats. 

Sometimes too much silence wasn’t good for Fives’ brothers. Sometimes it made them more restless, tossing and turning before eventually leaving to the gym, to push weights and punch bags until their tiredness had them collapsing on the mats. It was an uneasy and unpredictable world in the barracks- right where it should be predictable and easy.

The 501st are on shore leave along with a good handful of other battalions, a couple from the Inner Rim, the 13th Battalion from Sullust, even Wolffe and Cody were sticking around somewhere. Fives, although he was meant to be raving and silly and wild, was feeling a little… well, he hadn’t eaten much at dinner.

Something about the last campaign on Bothawui, a second, months after the first, and being soaked through with blood and gunfire, had just dulled him a little. Maybe he just needed sharpening.

He muscles his helmet in his hands, trudging down the main corridor through the barracks. There were separate rooms inside now, the one he shared with the rest of Rex’s squadron far at the end. The lights, although top of the range, working perfectly, were too bright, flickering off the durasteel of the walls, the floors, the ceilings. Fives wrinkles his nose. Too bright.

There’s the slightest shimmer of music, though, and for a brief fleeting moment, Fives is convinced it’s coming from outside, from Coruscant, but when he pushes through into his part of the barracks, his stomping ground, he stops still.

Now, the 501st have always been fans of partying, music, drinks, cantinas, women, but Maker, Fives was not expecting four full-grown men huddled around a datapad, nodding their heads to a silvery voice accompanied by a thrumming beat. He didn’t expect, either, the harsh shushing he receives from an irritated Kix.

The medic holds up a hand and starts rabbiting on to Jesse, perched on his left on the bunk, leaning his hand on his brother’s shoulder. Damn batchmates. 

“See? She’s amazing,” Kix mutters, gesturing at the datapad. “She was on the radio the other day, little Tano said something about her and I looked into it.” Fives tosses his helmet on the opposite bunk and takes a peek at what exactly they’re watching.

Oh.

A popstar. Shimmying. Rather precariously. 

She’s all clad up in pale, pastel lavender, her cheeks dusted in a thin film of shimmering pink, her mouth painted a matching shade. She’s even got this wild, bright yellow hair. Kix takes a wary glance at Fives before angling the screen a little more.

“Sugarplum.” 

“She’s some babe from the Core Worlds, a superstar,” Hardcase supplies, chewing on a bar of some unidentifiable substance with a grin. “Hot,” he comments, when she turns to wink at the camera.

“What is this?” Fives asks, leaning heavily on the bunk. Her shimmering, glittery skin seems to just seep through the datapad with every shift, shimmy and spin. 

“She’s doing concerts all over Coruscant in the next few days. Then Corellia, then the other ecumenopoli.” Echo speaks as if it’s common knowledge. Fives scowls at his twin, shoving his shoulder with a hand. 

Kix swipes left on the datapad and suddenly a rather risque picture flashes up, Sugarplum’s tongue out, her eyes rolled back. A ripple of chaos from the boys as they try to cover the datapad, and a roar of laughter from Hardcase when the pad goes flying over their heads.

“What the fuck?”

“That is not my datapad, I swear-”

“Yeah, it’s Tup’s!” 

“No, no, it’s definitely ‘Case’s.”

Fives snorts, throwing himself onto his bunk, listening, happily, to his brothers bicker.

“Want to bet she wants a piece of clone ass?” A murmur of dissent and discern when Jesse speaks follows- Fives struggles not to burst into a laugh. The cog-faced trooper looks down in embarrassment when he’s knuckled into a headlock. “Come on!”

“Yeah, maybe she does, but we weren’t going to say that!” A pause. “It’s practically gospel truth all of the beautiful ladies want a piece of us.”

The door busts open again, on four troopers in a pile, and Fives, beaming happily away on his bunk. It’s Rex, ole’ Captain, and he looks once at the pile, once at Fives, before moving into the barracks, silent as night- not on Coruscant, silent somewhere else.

Fives wriggles under his Captain’s gaze, uneasy. Sometimes he made him uneasy when he didn’t talk, didn’t even greet them. Sometimes it meant the end of shore leave. Fives swallows, stuffing the panic hard down in his stomach to edge himself along the bunk with a little more formality. Rex catches his gaze.

“You lot looking at Sugarplum again?” There’s an uproar of disagreements, denials and something else, just Jesse relenting with a sigh. Fives stuffs a fist against his mouth, trying to contain his laughter at the four troopers fumbling over each other, even as Rex stares, unimpressed. 

“Yeah,” Fives mutters. “They were, but we saw some of Hardcase’s secret bank and they threw the-” A pillow hits him square in the face. “Hey!” 

“You guys are bad as cadets,” Rex huffs, laughing softly, bringing his datapad up. He looks more tired than usual, rings under his eyes.

“You tired, Rex?” Kix asks, suddenly fluttering into medic-mode. He touches Rex’s forehead with the back of three fingers and draws an amused sigh from the Captain. Fives watches over the edge of his fist. If something’s wrong with Rex, that means no drinking themselves into inhibition later that night. 

“Better not be! We’re out tonight,” Jesse knocks his hand on Rex’s shoulder as he throws himself up from the bunk. “And I’m dreaming of beating Commander Wolffe in a drink-down this time. This time.”

“Don’t you say that every time, vod?” Hardcase levels a gaze back at the now-scowling Jesse. 

“What clubs do you think Sugarplum goes to?”

“Those glitzy ones on the upper levels, probably, the ones suspended in the air,” Rex joins in then, making weird shapes with his hands. “You’ve seen.” A moment of silence. “Okay, well, the General told me they sell sunfruit liquors there for five credits a shot.”

“Is it supposed to be better than the shit they sell us at 79’s?”

“Who fucking knows.”

“The General, apparently-”

“Kenobi was the one who told him.” 

Another round of laughs. Fives sighs, smiling, before wrestling Echo into a headlock.

“Ready to get out-drunk tonight, brother?” A shove, a scoff, then a grin. “You better be. You owe me three drink runs.”

“Three?” 

“Three, vod, three. For the last time I saved you.” Echo shakes his head, pushing a hand through his dark hair- same as them all, deep down. “Three.”

“Two.”

Fives laughs, bumping forearms with his brother. Echo knocks his temple against Fives’ and a moment of softness breaks the twins’ bickering.

“Fine, two.” 

Fives never could refuse his batchmate. 

-

You weren’t, and never will be, completely keen on Coruscant. Too much… difference. No, it’s not that, it’s just the deep tunnels into the ground and the rumours you hear sometimes, through your girls, through… well, anywhere.

‘Disease grows twofold as the lower levels of Coruscant are ignored for a Senate sickness’, or ‘The lower levels of Coruscant- most dangerous place in the galaxy?’. No, of course not. There’s police, you stupid news writer.

You pick idly at your nails, smoothing your thumbs over each metallic-blue painted tip to soothe your nerves. 

Eva and Lirisa had planned for a club outing tonight. The concert earlier had gone perfectly fine, just amazing, really. Everything was on point, the dancing, the singing, the backup vocals, the crowd… it still tingles on your skin like a second skin. The thrill would never hit any different.

You’re hidden away in your dressing room back in your apartment, slumped over a chair like a swooning lady. Lirisa is fixing her hair around her three little head horns, a bright, vivid purple like her skin, frowning in the mirror over your shoulder. She catches your gaze after a moment, face folding into concern.

You stretch out in the plum velvet chair, legs in fluffy slippers spreading when she gets that look. That look meant questions.

“Why are you so down?” You frown, shaking your head, returning your gaze to the datapad in your hands. A news article about you paints the screen. Lirisa looks down, once, twice, realises, and snatches your chin away from it. “Stop reading it if it’s bad.”

“It’s not bad. It’s good.” She pouts, letting you go with a soft pat to the shoulder. You shuffle uncomfortably in your feather-trimmed robe, the sheer material not offering much of a comfort in the face of a wide-open balcony window a few paces away.

Eva appears seconds later, looking plump and perfect in her eye-snatching candyfloss pink minidress, feet hidden in peculiar fur-cuffed ankle boots. She shifts, eyes ducking against the ground, her tattoos across her nose, little black diamonds against pale green skin, vivid and stark. 

“Oh, wow!” You exclaim, turning the spinning chair with a free hand. Lirisa squeals, rushing forward to tug at the hem of the dress, pulling the daring v-neck even lower. Eva hisses, batting away her friend’s hands.

“Don’t pull it down that far!” 

“I wasn’t!” 

A giggle and a sigh, then attention flickers back towards you. Your gut drops when they rush forwards, springing upon your wardrobe like it was their job- well, it was, but that doesn’t matter. There’s two options for dresses and you’ve already made your decision. A deep blue second skin, a dress that shimmered like a starlit night under the right light. The front was a simple scooped neck, low enough that your cleavage could make a gasp for breath, but not low enough you’d be recognised for a sleaze. The back is a square of sheer material until your hips, a little more than daring, a little less than risque, perfect for a night of dancing and drinking. 

There were even little silver stilettos in the corner. 

“No one will recognise me in blue, so stop trying to find other dresses,” you chide. “I’ve already made my decision.” A pout from Lirisa doesn’t move your hard-as-steel expression. Sometimes the Theelin girl had the ability to actually change your mind, but now, you sit there, waiting patiently for her to stop sulking. “Are we still going to that… um, that bar?”

“‘That bar’,” Eva mocks, turning you sharply to the mirror to start fiddling with your hair. It rests, untouched, until she starts pulling it up. “The clone bar.”

“Are we even going to be allowed in?” Eva nods, twisting a coil of hair around her finger. It’s not the same electric yellow it was on stage- the wig was long gone. “Who have you bribed this time?” You grin, glancing at her in the mirror. She shakes her head, disgusted at the pure suggestion of bribery. 

(Wouldn’t be the first time she had… well, Eva had once tried to bribe a club bouncer with a tray of meiloorun fruit.)

“I heard from a reliable source in the GAR offices that a whole bunch of sexy, all-too-willing clones are on shore leave.” You sigh, tugging on a forlorn strand of hair. Eva grabs your shoulder, firmly. “Don’t pull, your hair is almost done.”

“Shouldn’t I get my dress on first?”

“You’ll only spill blumfruit juice on it.” You scowl. “And we’re leaving in twenty minutes, standard. I already called a speeder for us.” 

“No paps?”

“No paps.” A pat on your shoulder and you relax. “Anyway, we’re going to have fun tonight!” Lirisa moves around in the background, now clad head to toe in what looks like skin-tight purple leather. She smiles, fondly, smoothing down a crease at her hip. The neckline plunges low below her sternum, but she acts as if she’s wearing Jedi robes with a swish and a sashay. You redirect your eyes when you get a rather tasteful flash of sideboob. “Looking good, Liri.”

“Thank you!”

“Is it a new suit?” A pause, a shrug. “Is it from my wardrobe?” You ask, eyebrow cocked in question. She nods, coyly smiling. “Fair enough.”

“Huh! If I took that you’d scream at me.”

“No, because I’d never confidently display so much sideboob at a club, Eva,” you mutter. Eva ponders it for a moment, but agrees, nodding. “Exactly.”

“Well, let’s just get to the club first, then we’ll decide how much ‘sideboob’ you’ll display after a few drinks.”

-

If there was one thing Eva was right about, it was the abundancy of rather good-looking men in the same place. Getting in had been easy- just flutter your lashes at the Coruscant guard on the door, he’d step aside and let you straight in with promises of a kiss later. 

Inside was beautiful, purple and blue lights swinging low from a long-greyed ceiling, huge yellow holograms with all manner of languages on them- news, nunaball, flashes of the GAR-droids, the ones that present it. Then, even a flicker of your own face. A familiar beat begins thrumming ten steps into the bar.

Eva barks a laugh, hooking her pale green arm through yours, tugging you closer towards the bartender. She starts ordering shots in a rapid call, smiling politely at the droid behind it. You lean an elbow on the bright, turquoise counter, relishing in the sultry high notes of one of your latest tunes. Lirisa throws her arms around your waist, humming softly.

“Three.” Eva holds up her fingers. “Thank you.”

You flex your hands under the glow of a green-yellow menu. It’s fascinating, being suspended in a place like this and being able to take your eyes off the crowd for just a moment without being scared of being hustled. Eva touches your shoulder momentarily, her usual gesture of reassurance.

Your gaze slips from the bar- it’s fascinating, yes, but more fascinating are the similar faces flashing around you. Each one the same, but slightly different. Silver hair, shaved head, tattooed, long hair, dark hair, pale hair, wider smile, careful gaze. You wet your lips and catch the gaze of a trooper a few seats down.

He’s broad, like the rest of his brothers, but something else settles about him like a halo. Dominance, confidence. He’s got one cybernetic eye, too, but the gruffness of his expression as he moves from his seat has your eyes fixated.

Suddenly, you catch another gaze of another set of troopers some ways away.

Huddled in a booth, an entire squad is staring right at you. With a startled huff, you cross your legs, tugging gently on Lirisa’s leather sleeve.

“I think I’ve been made.”

“Where?” She looks over your shoulder, brown eyes searching against the near-darkness of the club. She raises an eyebrow, slowly. “Oh. Just troopers, it’s okay. They won’t bother you.” You frown, interlocking your fingers and moving, slowly, to lean awkwardly against the counter. Their gazes reside on your back, sticky like syrup, until someone speaks roughly at your side.

“You’re not a clone.” 

You turn, matching the gaze of the gruff man from before. A glance over his armour tells you nothing- great. He’s patched in a pale, unforgiving black, and he moves, tilting his body to rest on the countertop. 

“No,” you murmur. “I suppose I’m not.” Your fingers go immediately to your necklace, a thin chain of silver studded with transparent stones, to tug. It’s a habit. The trooper looks at you for a long moment, dark eye and silver eye roving until he smiles, a little. Something tells you smiling isn’t normally what he’s used to. “Is that a good thing?” A look through your lashes and a splutter of drink from Eva over your shoulder has you struggling to hold in a laugh. 

The man’s eyes flit to the screens, then back to you.

“Is that you?” You purse your lips, glancing at the hologram. “Nice.” Nothing else is added before he prepositions: “Want to dance?”

It’s only a moment after he offers his name, ‘Wolffe’, that you agree, letting him lead you to a writhing pack of men, clones and civvies, a few girls of all species. Your fingers thread through his and with a giggle, you sit your drink- a sunfruit cocktail- now finished, on an empty table. A rivulet of excitement ripples through your stomach when he tugs you firmly to his chest, roving a strong-fingered hand over the small of your back.

He asks a soft ‘this okay?’, but you’re too far flushed with music and finally, relaxation. You throw your arms around his neck and sway to the upbeat bass. A few more moments and your head drops back with a soft sigh, Wolffe’s fingers catching against the thin seam where the sheer material turns back into oil-slick silken fabric. Your breath hitches.

“Never did get your name,” he huffs, nose brushing yours. You sigh, smiling politely.

“They call me Sugarplum,” you murmur, letting his hands on your hips move you a little more vigorously to the disco-beat. Wolffe grins, wolfish, before flipping you around, a hand flattening against your stomach. 

The music continues, and you continue to let Wolffe roam his hands along your midriff until he’s heaving heavy breaths in your ear and becoming slowly less dancer-like. You had to admit, the clones seemed like they were lithe bands of silk ready to snap, but you were dying for a drink.

When the song starts to pulse out in favour of a quicker, sharper tone, you slide your hands against his and softly remove them.

“I need a drink,” you shout over the music. He swipes a hand over his sweat-stricken hair and nods, dropping himself into a booth. “Thanks for the dance.” You brush your lips against his cheek and dart through the crowd, desperately searching for a flicker of pink, or purple. Luckily, Lirisa’s still at the bar, pressed against it by someone in red armour, perhaps, but there nevertheless, and smiling, sober. “Liri and… friend.”

“This is Thire,” she calls, patting his hand. “Coruscant Guard.”

“Fancy.” You stare at him for a moment, trying to decide on his intentions when he gives the brightest, sweetest smile you’ve ever seen. You feel your cheeks rush with heat. “Nice to meet you.”

“Plum,” Lirisa mutters. “How was your dance?”

“Oh, fine… you know me…”

“What, a prude?”

“No!” You bat her arm with a hiss. “Picky.” You flag down for another drink, dumping a pile of credits on the counter. Thire’s brows skyrocket, his face a portrait of shock when the droid picks through and takes only what’s needed. “Oh, I don’t know the prices…”

“That’s a lotta’ credits.”

Lirisa tilts his chin with one long, lavender finger and captures his mouth, eyes settling on you with a meaningful look. You swipe the credits up, dumping them back in the little silver shoulder bag she’s got on the counter. Oops.

You hear yourself in the speakers again.

“Huh. Whoever’s DJ-ing has nice taste.” Lirisa pulls away from Thire after a long moment, her lipstick a little smudged, but with a warm smile, Thire swipes it back into place. “Thank you, baby doll.” Thire darkens. “I’ve always liked ‘Popgloss’.” 

“It’s not my best,” you murmur, eyes fluttering with shyness. 

“This is you?” Thire asks, gesturing at the screen. You look at yourself, bearing a bright, fluorescent blue wig and matching lipstick. “That’s you?” He huffs a laugh of surprise. “Nice lipstick.”

“Thank her,” you reply, jabbing a thumb in the Theelin’s direction.

The droid slides a new drink over. You frown, staring at it. The glass is literally glowing, a white-ish liquid simmering inside. 

“Courtesy of the 501st, ma’am.” The droid trundles away and you stare at the bright blue liquid with a smile. 

“Boys in blue, huh?” Thire looks at the drink, then back at Liri with hooded eyes. “That looks like a mist-cocktail.” He turns, glancing over his shoulder towards where you’d seen the table staring at you. You follow his gaze, but only a few troopers remain. One of them raises a hand in a two-fingered salute, though. You smile coyly, waving in return. 

With a careful touch, you raise the glass to your mouth and take a sip. It’s warm, warm down to your toes, and tastes amazing.

“Tastes great,” you say, a little surprised. “I should go thank them.”

“No, you should leave them waiting, maybe they’ll come up to you!” You scowl, shaking your head. Another sip of your drink and you turn, walking swiftly towards the table where only three troopers remain out of what was a lot more. One with long hair, another with lines tattooed down his face, grinning roguishly, and the last with a buzzed, blonde cut. 

“Um, I just wanted to say thank you for the drink.” You fiddle with the draw, lashes fluttering of their own command. All three troopers are staring, two at your face, and the other quite firmly at your legs. “And, well… thank you for fighting. Your service,” you murmur, suddenly taken aback with shyness. Come on, superstar personality! Make your appearance.

The blonde grins.

“You’re welcome. On both counts.” His demeanour is remarkably similar to that of the Wolffe from earlier. Perhaps a Commander. “We’re quite enjoying your music tonight.” You chew idly on a thumb, smiling bashfully. “And we enjoyed Wolffe’s poor attempt at dancing.”

“Oh!” You snort. “He wasn’t that bad!” Eyes follow your hips as they turn, swaying back and forth as you try to plant yourself firmly and more confidently at one side of the round table. “Um, well, thank you anyway.”

“Thank you, Sugarplum.”

You make a wild getaway before you can embarrass yourself further or faint in the lap of the blonde, who was staring a little too sharply for your taste. The music seems to pulse louder with every step you get back to Lirisa, who is now firmly shoved against the counter and smothered by Thire’s mouth. Eva is nowhere to be seen.

“Where’s Eva?”

“She ran off with a Twi’lek lady.” 

You smile, huffing a chuckle of disbelief, leaning forwards to finish your drink in two more sips, when slowly, you notice a presence approaching you from the side.

Hands, well-defined, lined with veins and a few here-and-there scars, draw your attention like an industrial magnet. His skin is bronze, a dark, deep gold, like his brothers, but he plants his weight on the bar and clears his throat softly before speaking.

“Hey,” he says, voice low, dark. You swallow, hard, turning your head. He’s quite a face. He’s got quite a face- sorry, he’s… got quite a face. Right below his hairline, there’s a little ‘5’ tattoo, nestled there, inked in night-black. You take another sip of your drink for courage.

Alone, it’s easier.

“Hello.” Your voice is a little uneasy, but the trooper smiles, his eyes shining with politeness. Your eyes flutter shut when another one of your songs bursts through the speakers, but the trooper’s grin only grows.

“I’m not boring you, am I?” 

“No! No, sorry, I’m just… I don’t know.” His smile softens at the corners, less devilish, and he shifts his weight, spine arching with the movement. You let your gaze flicker along his lithe body, contained in blue-stained armour. ‘Boys in blue’, Thire had said. “Oh! You sent me the drink… it’s delicious.”

“Yeah? One of my favourites.” He moves a hand back through his dark hair, eyes ducking for a brief second, before meeting yours once more. You feel your chest swoop and you smile, wide, wider than usual. “Fives.” He offers a hand, a handshake, and you accept it, only for him to flip your wrist. His lips ghost your knuckles. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“You can call me Plums,” you supply. “That’s what all my friends call me.”

“Friends?” A coy, cocked brow. Your chest flutters and you nod, drawing your bottom lip between your teeth. You’ve probably got dark lipstick all over your teeth by this point, but the way Fives poses the question has you suddenly not-so-bothered. Lirisa’s knuckles jabs your spine twice, a signal. You’re pretty much alone now. She’d bring Thire back to her apartment, two floors under yours, and Eva was wherever that Twi’lek took her. “We like your music in the barracks.”

“Oh? Thank you,” you murmur, gazing into the bottom of your glass. “I wish you could all come to one of my concerts, that’s the only place I sound good sometimes. My studio stuff is a little-” 

He suddenly tilts your chin with the knuckle of his finger, still grinning brightly.

“Don’t want to lose my beautiful view.” You chew helplessly on your lip, chest releasing a sort-of sigh, more like a swooning hum. “And I like both. All of it. The boys were playing a couple clips of your concert today.”

“Really?” You fiddle with the stem of your glass, not letting your eyes drop from his face, chiselled and kind, warm. 

“Yeah. I like the pink, but if I’m honest, I like this blue on you even better.” He taps your lower arm, where the sleeve ends at your wrist. “We’re matching, see?” He gestures at his blue-painted armour. You suddenly smile, nerves dissipating. 

“Seems like we are.” A smile shared, and Fives shifts forwards. His fingers skim your waist as he signals the droid for another drink. “You want me drunk or something?”

“How many have you had?”

“I can handle another. For you.” He raises a brow, eyes suddenly narrowing with a wild grin. “I suppose.” You rest a hand against his chestplate and he huffs a noise of near-surprise, before taking your fingers in his. He brushes his mouth against them and thanks the droid when he appears with another mist-cocktail, no, two. “What are these even made from?”

“Good question,” he murmurs, taking a long sip of his. You stare at him, unabashedly, for a moment, watching the light flicker through his long lashes, then the twitch of his mouth when he realises you’re staring. “Something you like?”

“You have the most beautiful profile I’ve ever seen,” you gush, turning his head with the tips of your fingers, smiling. His breath comes out in a slow whirl when you slide a fingertip down the bridge of his nose. “Like a statue. One of those ones on Naboo in the big fancy halls.”

“You callin’ me handsome?”

“I’m calling you more than that.” 

He takes another long drink of his cocktail and you follow, letting it warm your stomach. You glance at his blue armour, touching the lines of his arm.

“Boys in blue?”

“501st Legion.” He bows his head. “At your service, I’m certain. In fact, half the GAR will probably fall at your feet, princess.” You smile, sheepish. “Don’t be so unsure of yourself,” he murmurs, touching a curl of fallen hair at your temple.

“Who said I was unsure? Maybe I’m just faltering in the sheer radiance of your beauty.” Fives laughs, a low rumble in his chest, finishing his drink in one swallow. “501st… are you a Commander?”

He shakes his head with a smile.

“ARC-trooper. Advanced Recon Commando.”

“Oh? So… elite of the elite?” Fives’ eyes flutter, sliding over your features in one long, languid sweep. “Am I stroking your ego?”

“I’d much rather you stroke something else.”

You hum, head turning. You want to pretend the crude line has made you suddenly disgusted, but when he fastens a hand around your waist, you’d rather fall into him, onto him, onto him. He radiates energy. 

“Can you kiss me now?”

His eyes widen, at least a little, and he smiles, eyes lidded, gaze smokier than a Sullust sunrise.

“Can I kiss you? That can be arranged.”

Fives leans, capturing your lips in a soft, chaste kiss. He tastes of cocktails and fruit and something else sharper, darker, but you don’t care. It’s suddenly rather hard to care as he brushes a thumb along your ribs and leans you back further. Your chest hisses a content sigh when he tilts your chin, pulls back, then takes your mouth a little harder. 

He’s soft as silk for a soldier with calloused hands, his touch careful, hesitant until you moan quietly into his mouth and he touches his tongue against the seam of your lips. You let your jaw open, and he slides his tongue along your teeth, grins, then groans when your hips cant into his. 

“Fives, do you want… do you want to come to my apartment?” He huffs, almost as if he can’t believe his luck, mouth shining with moisture. His head dips, claiming your lips once more like he’s got unfinished business there. 

His thumbs ripple over the creases in the dress at your hips, his index, middle, ring finger pressing into your ass, pulling you closer. He knows how to work himself, that’s for sure. You shudder, one hand threading into his hair, the other fastening firmly around his bicep like a vice. He slides his tongue into your mouth and sucks at your bottom lip with a chuckle. You muffle a choked whine, desire suddenly starting to yap at the gates like a feral beast. 

“Yeah…” he replies, finally, eyes fluttering to kiss you again, twice, three times.

There’s gazes on you from the boys in the booth, you know, you feel them, but you don’t take a chance at them until you can lean back for a cool breath of fresh air. They all sit there, slack-jawed, wide eyed.

“Your friends are looking at us,” you murmur, fingers digging into his upper arm.

“Let them look. They’re not the ones getting an eyeful of this masterpiece up close,” he hums, nosing along your jaw. “You should be painted.”

“Is that what you say to all the girls?”

“What do you want to hear?”

“The truth.”

“You’re the first one it’s true for.” You feel your heart thrum a little quicker, his fingers pressing hard into your ass, then relaxing. “You wanna call a cab?”

“Yeah. Yeah, come on,” you murmur. You’re more out of breath than you’d like to admit- than your ego would like to admit. Fives steals another cool kiss in the entrance to the club, greeting a few of his brothers in a language you don’t understand, before ushering you in his warm, huge hands, to the cab drop-off.  His arms suddenly hook around your waist and you sigh, softly, contently. 

After dialling in the address to your apartment, the cab takes only another long two minutes to show up, of which consists mainly of Fives drawing his tongue in teasing circles on your neck, and hot, heavy touches along your ribcage.

You step into the cab first, smiling politely to the driver, only to be pinned to the seat by a suddenly ravenous Fives. He pulls you up, over, onto his lap and keeps you there with a hand on your thigh.

“What do you want from me?” He asks, voice low, rough. “I want to be sure you want this.” A finger gestured between your chests and you laugh, threading your fingers through his hair. “What’re you laughin’ at?”

“How could it be possible anyone wouldn’t want you, Fives?” You tug gently at his roots, smoothing kisses on both of his cheeks with a coy smile.

“You haven’t met my brothers,” he whispers, lips brushing your ear. “They don’t want even to bet on me when we spar.” You sigh, stretching. “Do you normally do this?”

“Do what?” You ask, certain your eyes are probably blared with lust and something more primal, more dangerous. Fives smothers his face in your throat, nipping gently at your pulse, breath more of a growl now. “Invite handsome men back to my apartment? You should ask my friends.”

“The Theelin and the Mirialan?” You nod. 

“They think I’m quite picky, so nine out of ten nights end with me alone, eating ice cream and watching limmie.” Fives laughs, stroking a thumb over the crease of your knee. “So, you’re lucky.”

“Oh, yeah,” he growls, thumbing at your bottom lip with a grin. You take the digit into your mouth with a hum. “I’ve hit the jackpot.”

The cab stutters up to the dock at the very bottom of the apartment block, and it takes Fives a moment to stare up at the towering building before you can pay the driver and usher him into the doors. Islair, the Nikto receptionist, raises his hand in a polite wave, before doing a double take at the trooper on your arm. He still smiles, though, when you step into the lift.

“You aren’t afraid of heights?” You ask, when Fives leans against the metal bar on the opposite side of the half-glass lift. It slides smoothly through the building, leaving Coruscant more and more distant with every floor climbed.

“No.”

“Good. We’re going to the fiftieth floor.” You smile, fluttering your lashes, crooking your finger towards him. He crosses the lift, boots thudding against red carpet beneath your heeled feet, before shoving you roughly against the wall. His lips break your resolve as soon as he presses them against yours, tongue sliding through into your mouth with a hard groan. He shifts his hips against yours and hooks your wrists beside your head.

“You… we have to make sure there are boundaries.”

“You’d be surprised how much I can take, Fives.” He huffs, a low, gasp of a breath, fingers running up, below your dress. “How much can you give?” 

“You’re really riling me up, princess,” he whispers, voice sharp. “How long till your floor?” You glance at the numbers, ticking up through thirty.

“Not long, handsome,” you murmur, sliding the tips of your fingers down his stomach, along his codpiece, until he groans, planting two hands hard on either side of you He could almost bend the metal. “Relax.”

“Tell me to relax while you’re doing that?” He grumbles, smothering you in another rushed kiss when the lift pings, and the doors open. In one graceful swoop, he hauls you into his arms and waits for you to flick out your apartment key. You rustle through the black, studded purse in your hands and quickly draw it out, a shimmery, pearlescent card. 

“Apartment Three,” you whisper. Fives hurries along the carpeted hall, lowering you to your feet in front of a rather decadent black door, watching as you flick your card over the scanner. A soft, delirious scent of vanilla hits him right in the face when it opens, and he lets you tug him inside.

There’s a moment of silence.

“So, this is my apartment,” you mumble, feeling his presence creeping behind you. His hands snake around your middle, to the hem of your dress and up once more. He takes his time, like he’s standing in front of a painting at a gallery, pushing himself along your spine. You arch your back, sighing softly when he cups your breasts in his hands and kisses your throat, once, twice. “You don’t care…”

“Nice place.” Is all he manages, rubbing his thumbs over your nipples, hardened against the silk of your underwear, underneath your dress, but he knows- he grins, smoothing his hands down your sides. “Do you want me?”

“Yes.” You turn, fiddling with the latches of his armour pieces, kneeling on the cool wood of the ground. His throats jumps, but you ignore it, finely, too, as you release the rest of his white and blue protection onto the floor. “There. All done.”

“Uh, uh,” he calls, wrapping a hand around your wrist when you try to escape. Your breath hitches. Your back hits against his chest. “Your turn, princess.” His fingers play with the hem of your dress, spreading out along the warmth of your thighs. 

“Zip.” He leans back, moving a hand to slowly drag the zip along your spine. 

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers, kissing your shoulder, your throat. “Beautiful girl.” You exhale, sharply, shifting the dress from your arms with a wriggle. “Fuckin’ Maker,” he huffs, reaching forrwards to skim his thumbs over your bare skin. You’re suddenly quite happy you wore the black, slightly sexy underwear rather than the black, completely mismatched pair you were rushing for a few hours earlier. 

“You like it?”

“Who were you planning to snag at the club? Wolffe wouldn’t have lasted five minutes with you. He’s hard on the outside, soft on the inside.” Fives smooths the pads of his thumbs across your breasts, nipples hardened in the cups of your bra, before lowering his mouth to the crevice between them. He runs his tongue, slowly, carefully, along the cool silk of your skin. “Fox, maybe. No… no, he’d finish and kick you out. Rex? My Captain? My brother?” You gasp, cupping his face between your hands. “No. Too soft. Too slow.” 

“What are you trying to say, Fives?”

“That I’m the brother for you.” You giggle, throwing your arms around his neck. “I promise, I promise from the bottom of my heart… I am the clone for you.” He offers a goofy smile.

“I trust you, Fives,” you whisper, brushing his nose with yours. “Do you still want to try it, though?” You stroke a finger down the nape of his neck. “Figure out whether I’m the woman for you?” He tucks an arm below your hips and hauls you up, up into the air. 

“I already know.”

“You don’t even know my favourite colour… my favourite flavour of ice cream, my favourite meal!”

“All in good time. For now,” he busts open a door at random. “Good choice.” It’s the bedroom. A wide bed, perfect for ignoring alarms, and what seems to be, to Fives, a good throwing range. He tosses you onto the mattress, and you bounce, just a little, watching him from the head of the bed. “Comfortable, too.”

“Come here,” you call, springing onto your knees. Fives reaches over his head and tugs in one mighty pull, his shirt off. You swallow, dry-mouthed, when he displays deep bronze skin, six lines of ridged muscle, broad arms, broader shoulders. His grin grows. 

“You like what you-”

“Yes.” You hook an arm around his neck and pull him back onto the bed, hauling him below you. Bare skin against bare skin, you tremble with every hot, silky-smooth touch he ghosts up your legs, over your knees, along the curve of your spine. You shift your hips against him, pressing purposely along the velvet length hidden in his blacks. Your fingers splay against his chest, sliding along his stomach, into the waistband of his trousers.

A husky gasp and a growl when your fingertips fuss through the downy triangle of hair at the very centre of those defined lines of muscle, a perfect V. He thrusts his hips up, planting himself at an angle on his elbows. You grin, wrapping a hand around his cock.

It’s broad, long, big enough to make you wince, and hot to the touch. You sweep a thumb over the tip, wetness pooling there somewhere, a drop, more than that, a rivulet running along the underside of the head. 

“Fuckin’ hell.” You smile, capturing Fives in a hard, rough kiss. His teeth clack against yours, but he doesn’t care, all he seems to care about is keeping that pressure on his dick and keeping you right there, beside him. “Oh, Maker.” 

“That feel good, soldier?”

“Pull rank on me and I’ll cum in your hand right now.” He grins. You sigh, tapping your chin with your free hand. 

“What comes next, I wonder?” Fives growls, tossing you on your back in one hard motion. He kicks off his pants, exposing bulking, heavy thighs corded with muscle and a long, thick cock. You grin, going to crawl forwards, but Fives presses you to the bed with a hand. 

“No, no. Just stay there.” His fingers hook in the waistband of your panties. They’re lace and silk, elegant, and he tugs them down, slowly. “You’re beautiful.” You feel your body flush, Fives’ breath quickening against your stomach, your knees, the apex of your thighs, before he presses his mouth into your heat. 

“Oh, Gods, give a little warning next time-” He squeezes the skin of your right thigh with a sigh, running his tongue up the liquid warmth between your legs, between your folds, along the petal-pink flesh, wet with desire. “Fives.”

“You’re sweeter than sugar, princess. Sweeter than anything.” He taps your hips and pins them into the bed, nose brushing your clit with dangerous precision. “So pretty, soft.” His tongue thrusts into you, gathering your slickness in one long motion. He moves his fingers slowly, carefully, along your skin, rubbing one against your entrance in a wolfish, evil way. 

“You’re an asshole.”

“Hm?” Fives croons, biting softly at the skin of your thigh. “You say something?” He hums, licking his lips before shoving his face back between your legs. With the quick shift of his head, his finger eases into you, slowly, carefully. You groan, pushing your hand through his hair. His tongue is teasing at your clit, his finger shifting delicately inside you, slower than anything, but electrifyingly so. 

“Fives, you tease,” you groan, eyes screwed shut. “Stop playing around.”

“You’re asking me to stop playing around?” He adds a second finger, stretching you to the knuckle. You hiss, a hand latching around his upper bicep like a vice. Fives grins. He pecks you twice on the hipbone, then returns his attention to between your legs. “I’m quite enjoying playing around.”

“You’re being a tease. I’d much rather give you attention- ah, fuck, fuck- too. Please,” you hiss, eyes shuddering back as he coaxes the oncomings of an orgasm out of you. A grin against your skin- you feel it. His teeth graze your skin, then his mouth latches onto you once more. Liquid heat burns through your gut, coiling you tight. “I’m going to…”

“Yes, pretty girl, give it to me.” He flicks his tongue over your clit. “Give it to me, Sugarplum. You got it, baby.” 

You choke on a moan as your orgasm snatches you away. It’s a thrumming feeling, a wheeze that escapes through your lungs and burns you hot inside out. A grin spreads onto your face, your skin is vibrating, shivering under the still-relentless touch of Fives between your legs. He eases up onto the bed, then, smoothing your breasts into his hands.

“Perfect tits,” he whispers.

“How do you want me?” You ask, breathless, eyes still spotty-white from the blinding climax rushing between your legs, rendering you twitching, shaking. 

“Get on your back for me?” He asks, pinching a nipple between two deft fingers. You keen, shuffling beneath him. Your hand snakes between his leg and slowly strokes his cock, carefully, quietly. Fives groans, capturing your mouth with his. A moan is lost into his tongue, wetting your lips then moving against them once more. He’s a battering ram- no mercy, a perfect soldier. 

“Fucking hell, Fives,” you whisper, raking nails over his scalp. He moans. You feel your stomach drop to your feet. “You like that?” He nods, parting your legs with two rough, callused hands. Your fingers pull hard at his hair and he whines, slipping his tongue back into your mouth, sliding his hand between your legs once more. He plays with your clit, your hand around his cock. 

“I’m gonna fuck you now,” he rasps, nipping at your bottom lip. You let go of him, reaching up to slide your arms along the hot, hard planes of his back. Fives stares at you, just for a moment, eyes dark like smoke, before he grips himself and pushes against you. “Slow?”

“Whatever you want,” you whisper, mouth cracking open when he impales you carefully in one liquid thrust. “Oh, shit. Now is probably a good time to tell you I’m on suppressors.” Fives tries to speak, but his words are lost in a broken groan into the hot crook of your neck. Your nails push crescent moons into his shoulders, letting him stretch you carefully along his generous length. “Are you all your brothers… this big?”

Fives huffs a laugh, nose brushing your pulse.

“Weird question.”

“Yeah,” you gasp, fanning your face with a hand. “Yeah, you’re right.” You stifle a moan between your fingers, eyes ducking back into your head. “Fuck, fuck, Fives, just a little quicker.”

“Quicker?” His hips snap against yours with a sharpness you haven’t felt before. Your chest drops out, but he continues, thumbs digging into your hips when he tilts you upwards, finding the best angle. His fingers slide beneath the small of your back to suspend you there, perfect for his ruin, when he brushes his mouth over your nipple and ruts firmly into you. “That, ah- that better?”

“Hm, yeah, yes.” You slide a hand into the hair at the back of his head, eyes fluttering shut, mouth slipping open with every thrust of his hips, every shift of his cock inside you. “Yeah, baby, that’s better.” You scratch gentle nails over his back, admiring his warmth, before tugging carefully at his hair. He groans, pinning you into the bed.

Your eyes slide shut. Stars begin to speck behind them and you think he knows by the breathless laugh against your throat, then the broken moan into your jaw, your mouth. He tongues your mouth gently, bruising your lips swollen with the fervent touches. 

“Fives-”

“Ah, yeah?”

“Touch me, just a little more,” you plead, nose brushes his as he pecks you once more, thumbing your right nipple, then finding your clit beneath a rough finger. “Yeah, yeah.”

“You like that, pretty girl?” He huffs, dragging his tongue along your throat. “Yeah?”

“Yes! Gods, yes, please!” You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him flush against your chest. Fives’ eyes disappear beneath his eyelids, his chest rumbling with soft, persistent groans every other thrust. You whine, pulling at his hair, scratching at his back. 

“You’re a little… fuckin’... ah, keep pullin’.” You giggle, threading your fingers through his hair, kissing him twice on the mouth, once on the jaw, angling his head as you see fit. “Yeah, baby, that’s right. Tight little pussy.”

He squeezes your waist with one hand, still flicking at your clit with the other hand, desperate to chase your orgasm out of you, and it works, he gives you one in moments. You stiffen, back arching, fisting a hand in the sheets, the other smoothing over his neck. Your moan echoes in your bedroom, and Fives eggs you on with gentle praise.

“Good girl, yeah, keep… fuck,” he wheezes, hiding his face in your shoulder. His arms are so tight. “Can I move you?”

“Uh-huh, yeah,” you whisper, letting him shift you into a lower position, where he impales you so suddenly your breath hitches and you shriek, turning into a whimpering mess. “Oh, that’s so good!”

“That’s good?” He breaths, pupils almost completely lost in black-brown irises.

“Yes, Fives, it’s good,” you whisper, smothering your mouth against his with a giggle, a grin, slipping your tongue into his mouth. He grunts, releasing your clit to roll a nipple between finger and thumb. You hiss sharply against him, forcing your heels into his back to push him deeper, harder. “Harder, baby, please.”

He quickens his pace, the bed shaking a little under his force.

“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful,” he murmurs against your lips. “Sweet angel,” he reaffirms. “Heaven sent.” His fingers wrap around your free wrist, pinning it against the silken sheets below your head. Your back arches with the pressure, a grin spreading along your face. “Fuckin’ hell, I’m gonna cum.” 

You hiss when he touches your clit, so eager, so painlessly prepared to give you what you want- another orgasm, more pleasure, anything. He coaxes it out of you, another climax, relishing in your writhing against him, your low whine in his ear, the shiver that follows, the sweat that slicks him head to toe. 

“Fuck!” You cry, shuddering back into the sheets.

Fives’ hips falter, his eyes scrunching shut, his groans lower, deeper, until you wind a hand into his hair and kiss him once more, and his thrusts pause.

“Inside?”

“Yeah.”

He finishes, coating you with one hard grunt, a sharp sigh, his eyes finally opening to find yours, a grin eventually appearing on his tired features. You let him fill you, for a moment more, before he pulls away a little.

“Sorry,” he whispers, pulling out. You huff at the cool touch of air against the wetness sinking deep into your skin, and watch him do a quick double-take around the room for the bathroom. With a snort, you point at the door on the left. He punches the release and wanders in, clattering around.

“Under the sink, baby.”

“Yeah! I got it,” he calls, reappearing after the tap runs for a moment. He kneels between your legs and gently, softly, wipes the warm cloth over you until he’s satisfied you’re cleaned up well enough. “There, princess.”

“Thanks.” 

He disappears back into the bathroom, and a wet slap suggests he’s just tossed the rag into the bath tub. An muffled ‘oops’ and there’s another sound of running water. 

You stifle a giggle behind your hand, darting from the bed to snatch up his long-sleeve top. It had the Republic branded right in the middle, grey against the black, and you snuggle into it, sliding your arms into too-big sleeves. Fives reappears after a moment and grins, crooking a finger towards your shrouded form.

“Do you want me to go?” He asks, quietly, sincerely. “I’m assuming ‘no’ since you’ve stolen my shirt,” he hums.

“No, stay, please.” You usher him towards the bed, hands on his ass. You squeeze once with a snort and toss his trousers at him. He eases himself into them and pulls you into his chest. 

“Are you okay?”

“Better than okay.” Fives grins, craning his neck to kiss you softly on the mouth, the nose, the forehead. You stare helplessly at him, your heart suddenly quite warm, and collapse onto the bed. “Come sleep.” You pat the space beside you and watch as he slides himself in. “Never had a double?” His look of confusion is an easy tell.

“Nope.”

“Comfy?”

He turns, half buried in thick duvet and silk sheets. You can barely make out his nod but slide down beside him, tucking your head into the crook of his neck. He’s like a furnace- probably going to irritate you later in the night- but you relax against his chest.

“‘Night.”

“G’night, pretty baby.”

*

for the bbs always: @thegoodbatch @djangofetts​ @jangohshit​ @queenofheavenandhell​ 

[silverlightqueen]

Her 🦋

‘I could go up out to outer space with her, all I need is one more day with her.’

Phases - Hwang Hyunjin X Chase Atlantic

Rating: M (heavy angst and suggestive content)

Warnings: discussion of suicidal thoughts and severe depression, childhood trauma (absent father, daddy issues), discussion of sex, discussion and use of drugs, substance abuse/addiction and alcoholism, extremely toxic relationship, emotional manipulation and verbal abuse, fwb, sexting and sending nudes

Word Count: 4.6k+

a/n: and here is the second part of phases, my hhjxchaseatlantic series! please proceed with caution bc this fic is very heavy and touches on some very sensitive and serious topics. I really hope you guys enjoy this, lmk what you think and hmu if you wanna be on the taglist! the biggest thank you to the loml @silverlightprincess for proofreading this and bigging it up so much lmao I love you sis! x

taglist 🦋: @diue​ @shesfuckedinthehead​ @danyxthirstae01​ @linours​ @titleisyettobemade​ @jikooksgirl19​ @silverlightprincess​

A loud ping from Hyunjin’s phone resonates in the hazy room, the other boys exchanging knowing glances, and he ignores the way his hands itch to reach into his pocket and see if it’s her. ‘Aren’t you gonna check that?’ Changbin asks, fingers fumbling as he tries to roll yet another joint. Hyunjin’s surprised the other boy can even see straight, let alone roll a joint, but he manages it. It’s not his best work, but it’ll do.

They’re sat in the private bar on the top floor of Changbin’s dad’s hotel on the outskirts of the city, surrounded by windows that overlook the skyline. None of them have particularly well-paying jobs – they have more than enough to live, but they splash it all on drugs and drink and fast cars and pretty girls who want Fendi bags, but thanks to Changbin’s dad, lavish nights filled with the oldest alcohol and the best weed are a regular. Changbin’s dad helps fund this lifestyle and they can’t be grateful enough towards him for it.

‘It won’t be urgent,’ Hyunjin says offhandedly, but he feels his skin lighting up with energy. It’s like nothing else is allowed to exist in his mind or body when he thinks of her – she pushes away everything else, even the marijuana mist that hangs in a heavy cloud over his mind. He’s already beginning to sober up, his senses alert and tuned into her. She’s not even here, and she’s all he can feel.

‘What if it’s your girl?’ Chan teases, dimples denting his cheeks as he hands Changbin the lighter. ‘She’s not my girl,’ Hyunjin replies mildly, the boys all looking amused. ‘Then why’d you go running whenever she texts you?’ Minho asks, gentle laughter running around the room, and Hyunjin pushes down the shame, rolling his eyes and curling his lips at the corners, trying to seem nonchalant.

‘He doesn’t go running. He leaves her waiting like a dick,’ Jeongin says, Hyunjin flipping him off half-heartedly. ‘As he should. She ain’t shit,’ Jisung says with a grin. ‘You say that, but you’d go running if it was you she was texting,’ Seungmin grins at Jisung, the latter nodding instantly. ‘Of course I would. I’m not a fucking idiot. I just feel sorry for him. They’ve been fucking around for years and she still hasn’t caught feelings like all other girls do. If there aren’t any feelings involved, it gets boring,’ Jisung says, not realising how his words feel like weapons to Hyunjin.

‘Are you fucking crazy? It’s way better without feelings. It gets messy with feelings,’ Minho says as Chan passes him the joint, fresh smoke already beginning to blur the room, and Hyunjin nods. ‘Exactly. The only reason we’ve been fucking around for so long is because there aren’t any feelings. That’s why we work so well,’ Hyunjin lies, his phone pinging again.

‘Well, I admire you. I’d have caught feelings for her by now,’ Felix says candidly, the other boys bursting into laughter. ‘Don’t laugh! You lot would’ve caught feelings for her too!’ he says defensively, raising his voice over the laughter. ‘Yeah, I definitely would have. I think I’d have wifed her by now,’ Changbin grins, and Hyunjin feels the jealously bubbling up inside him. He hates it when they talk about her. She might not be his, but she’s more his than she is theirs. They have no right to talk about her like that.

‘Yeah, but how do you wife a girl that doesn’t wanna be wifed?’ Chan asks, all of the boys letting out noises of agreement. ‘True. She’s actually living the life. Always decked out in designer, dick from Mr Handsome, free drugs from his friends, boujee apartment in the city, sexy group of friends and an easy ass ‘working from home’ job,’ Jisung says, sounding jealous, and all the boys start laughing again. ‘She really is. I’d swap lives with her, no hesitation,’ Seungmin says, more laughing filling the room.

‘Check your phone then, Mr Handsome,’ Felix nudges Hyunjin, and the boy lets out a little sigh, taking his time as he gets his phone out of his pocket. Her name is on the screen, no emojis and pet names or anything. Just her name. She’s sent him two texts, and he tries to hide his eagerness as he unlocks his phone to see them.

come see me when you’re done with the boys

give them my love and bring me some molly pls xo

‘Wow. Not her trying to emotionally manipulate the guys into giving her molly,’ Felix laughs quietly, looking at Hyunjin’s screen, and Hyunjin can’t help but laugh too. She’s one of a kind. ‘She sends her love to you guys,’ Hyunjin says, knowing he won’t even have to ask for the molly. They’ll offer it, like they always do. She’s got them all wrapped around her finger.

‘She’s cute. We should link soon,’ Chan says, handing the joint to Jisung and punching him gently when he nearly drops it. ‘Yeah, the same thing happens every time we link. We get a booth in a club, last for about ten minutes before they kick us out for doing lines, and then those two disappear to fuck and abandon the rest of us,’ Minho says drily, motioning to Hyunjin, who’s busy trying to formulate a laidback reply.

‘Tell her… only if she’s good,’ Felix says under his breath, knowing Hyunjin’s situation better than anybody else (Hyunjin’s never told him, but Felix is wise beyond his years, and very observant), and Hyunjin types up the response. Only a few seconds later do the three little dots appear, and Hyunjin imagines her in his head, lying on her bed and typing with that cute little smile on her face.

I’m always good

I love being good

for you

Hyunjin feels his blood heat up more and more with each text she sends, Felix chuckling amusedly as Hyunjin’s fingers ghost over the keyboard. He never knows what to say, never knows how to be cool and collected around her. ‘You’re on your own, bro. She’s too good at this,’ Felix murmurs, and Hyunjin nods in agreement, desperately wracking his brains for a response, ignoring the current conversation the boys are having.

Before he even begins typing, another text from her comes through, and it’s a picture. His heart speeds up as he waits for it to load, itching to see what she’s sent. He has a folder on his phone dedicated to all the pictures she’s ever sent, and he visits that folder more often than he’d ever admit. When the picture finally loads, he feels his heart stop for a second, Felix so startled that he begins choking, and Hyunjin hits him on the back, eyes still locked onto his phone.

She’s in her bedroom, the lights all off, and she’s stood in front of her mirror, her body illuminated by the flash from her phone and the city lights streaming in from her window. She’s dressed in her completely sheer Dior robe. And nothing else.

‘Fucking hell,’ Felix says when he finally gets his breath back. The boys are all distracted from their conversation, looking over at Hyunjin and Felix with curiosity. ‘What’s going on?’ Jeongin asks, and Felix and Hyunjin are both silent for a moment. ‘She sent me a picture.’ ‘Let us see!’ Changbin says instantly, all of them looking at him with disgust. ‘No, you fucking creep.’ ‘You showed Felix!’ ‘I didn’t show him.’ ‘Yeah, I looked at the screen just as the picture loaded,’ Felix says, the boys all raising their eyebrows at him. ‘What a coincidence,’ Jisung says drily, Felix beginning to defend himself.

Hyunjin quickly becomes distracted with the picture again, unable to believe how lucky he is that a vision of beauty sends him pictures like this. He still isn’t used to the feeling of having someone so… perfect trust him enough to bare herself to him. And he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to it. How do you get used to something so… extraordinary?

‘The picture must be good. He can’t look away from his phone,’ Seungmin laughs, all the boys looking over at Hyunjin again. ‘At least… describe it to us,’ Changbin says, Hyunjin shooting him another dirty look. ‘Bro, just go watch some porn or something,’ Chan says, everyone bursting into laughter as Changbin shoves Chan. ‘I don’t want details. Just the gist of it,’ Changbin says, like a dog with a bone, and Hyunjin rolls his eyes.

‘It’s a mirror picture, and she’s wearing a robe.’ ‘Oh. That’s it? Bro, you’re down bad if you’re getting horny over that,’ Jisung says, and Felix bursts into laughter, Hyunjin unable to hold back his own chuckles. ‘You guys haven’t seen it, though.’ ‘If she’s fully clothed, it can’t be that sexy,’ Minho says, and Hyunjin and Felix laugh again. ‘The robe’s see-through,’ Hyunjin admits. When it comes to her, his pride and jealousy regularly battle, and leave him torn between showing her off and keeping her to himself.

‘It’s see-through? Like totally see-through?’ Jisung asks with wide eyes, and Hyunjin nods smugly. ‘And is she wearing anything else?’ Changbin asks, Hyunjin shaking his head with a grin, the boys all looking shocked. ‘Wow, she must really trust you, to send you a picture like that,’ Chan says disbelievingly, Hyunjin feeling smugger by the second.

‘What the fuck are you waiting for? Go to her, stupid,’ Jeongin urges, Hyunjin chuckling. ‘There’s no rush. She likes the long game,’ Hyunjin replies mildly, the others all shaking their heads in disbelief. ‘You’ve got it so good,’ Seungmin says, voice laced with envy, and Hyunjin can’t help but grin in response.

aren’t you gonna tell me I look good?

did I make you hard in front of your friends, jinnie?

are they all jealous bc your girl is so hot?

I bet they wanna fuck me like you do

only you get to fuck me though, jin

I only want you

only wanna be good for you

He stays with the boys for another hour, but his mind is elsewhere completely. The texts she sends him every few minutes fry his brain, and he feels himself getting needier with each one. He needs her. So many addictions in his life, but he’d give them all up for her. Fuck Mary Jane and Molly; she’s his favourite.

I’m thinking of you, jinnie

always thinking of you

And those texts are the ones that push him over the edge. Not the ones about how much she wants him, how good his dick is, how wet she is for him, but the ones that make him think she cares.

‘I’m heading off,’ Hyunjin says, getting up from his seat, and the boys all laugh and cheer. ‘Coming back after?’ Jeongin asks, and Hyunjin shrugs. ‘Probably,’ he says, pulling his jacket on. ‘Here, bro. I’ve got her favourites,’ Changbin says, holding a little plastic packet out to Hyunjin. The boy takes it, and he wants nothing more than to crush the pills into tiny little pieces. But he puts them in his pocket instead, their weight on his heart like bricks.

Hyunjin doesn’t waste any more time, driving like a madman to her apartment in the city centre, praying he doesn’t get a ticket but knowing that it’s worth it for her. He has a pass for her apartment block’s car park, and thankfully his usual space, the one beside her space, is empty. She has Hyunjin to drive her around most of the time, so her barely driven black Audi A5 with its D&G interior is in pristine condition. Hyunjin has a keycard to get into her apartment and he taps his foot impatiently as he scans it, the lift slowly moving upwards. He practically leaps through the doors when they open, stepping straight into her living room.

The lights are off, allowing a clear view through the floor to ceiling windows that look out over the city, but Hyunjin doesn’t care about that view. The view on his mind isn’t in here, and he exerts the last of his self-control as he heads towards her bedroom. When he reaches the open door of her room and she comes into his eyeline, his breath catches in his throat. She’s sat on her windowsill, looking out over the skyline with a wineglass in her hand, and he knows it isn’t wine that she’s drinking. It’s never something as weak as wine.

She looks like an angel, face serene and thrown into dim light from the city, and she’s not wearing the robe anymore. She’s in underwear, just a plain black Agent Provocateur set, but she looks like the most beautiful girl in the world to him. Practically everything in her room is Louis V, but she’s worth more than it all. He walks towards her slowly, and she knows he’s there but doesn’t look over at him. As he gets closer, he sees the black lines of mascara across her cheeks, her eyes red and swollen, and he isn’t sure whether it’s because she’s higher than a kite, or she’s lower than she’s ever been before.

‘Are you high?’ he asks her softly, and she lets out a gentle laugh. ‘No.’ ‘So you’ve been crying?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘You gonna tell me why?’ ‘No,’ she replies, voice like silk, and Hyunjin lets out a gentle sigh. ‘You can’t keep it all bottled up.’ ‘I can, and I will. I wanted you to come here to fuck me, not to be my therapist,’ she says tiredly, Hyunjin silent.

‘Did you bring my molly?’ she asks, and he just stares at her, waiting for her to look back at him. To actually look at him for once. ‘Hyunjin?’ Silence continues to fill the room, and after what feels like an eternity, she looks at him, her eyes shining with tears. ‘No.’ ‘You didn’t?’ ‘No. I brought you enough for a week on Tuesday. It’s Friday today.’ ‘I know what day it is. My health isn’t your problem.’ ‘I know it isn’t. But you should still have some left.’ ‘That’s not your concern. If I ask you to bring me something, you should bring it.’ ‘Stop being a fucking brat.’ ‘Stop being a fucking dick.’

He wants to scream at her, grab the glass from her hand and smash it against the wall, flush the pills in his pocket down the toilet. But he doesn’t. He just stands there, staring at her, and she stares back at him.

‘When was the last time you were sober?’ ‘For fuck’s sake, Jin, I can’t-’ ‘Answer the fucking question,’ he says angrily, and she flinches at his tone. ‘I… I’m sober now.�� ‘You’ve been drinking. When was the last time you were properly sober – no drugs or drink?’ She’s completely silent, and Hyunjin remains silent too, waiting for her response.

‘On Wednesday.’ ‘I’m not fucking stupid, stop lying to me.’ ‘I’m not lying!’ ‘I swear to God, I’m walking out of here if you don’t tell me the truth.’ ‘Then leave.’ ‘Don’t tell me to leave when that’s the last thing you want,’ he murmurs, and she just stares at him, eyes shining with tears.

‘Last week.’ ‘Stop lying!’ ‘I don’t fucking know, Jin! Maybe last week, maybe last month, maybe last year, maybe longer! I can’t fucking remember! I can’t even fucking see straight most days! You think I can remember when I was last sober? I’m never fucking sober!’ she screams, her voice shattering the silence, and Hyunjin feels his heart ache at the tears spilling down her face.

‘You’re slowly killing yourself.’ ‘You think I don’t know that? I’m not a fucking idiot, Jin! I haven’t got any delusions about my health!’ ‘If you know you’re dying, why don’t you stop?’ ‘You’re not an idiot either. You don’t need me to explain that to you,’ she says tiredly, as though all of her energy has suddenly flooded away.

Hyunjin’s eyes fill with tears at the realisation. She’s doing it on purpose because she wants to die.

‘Why? ‘What?’ ‘Why do you want to die?’ he asks softly, and she laughs humourlessly. ‘I told you; I don’t want a therapy session. That’s not why you’re here.’ ‘You’re insane if you think I’m gonna fuck you now,’ he says, the girl just staring at him.

‘This isn’t a film, Hyunjin, or a book. I’m not gonna magically decide to open up to you and cry on your shoulder and you hold me whilst I sleep and then you take me to DAA tomorrow and help me get sober. That’s not how this works. That’s not who I am, or who you are. You fuck me, or you leave.’ ‘I’m not gonna fuck you when you’re like this. I’m not a fucking monster,’ Hyunjin says harshly. ‘I might have to disagree with that,’ she murmurs before taking a sip from her drink.

‘You’ve had enough for tonight,’ Hyunjin says, the girl raising an eyebrow at him as she continues to drink. ‘I said that that’s enough,’ he spits angrily, and she flinches again, taking the glass from her lips a moment later. He holds out a hand to take it, and she hesitates before handing it to him, Hyunjin celebrating internally. It’s a step forward. It might be a small one, but it’s something.

He puts the glass down on her bedside table before taking a seat beside her on the windowsill. ‘You can leave.’ ‘I know,’ he says softly, and she doesn’t reply, looking back out over the city with tears streaming down her face. They sit in silence, looking at two different views, and Hyunjin feels like he could live in this moment. Her walls are up, but she’s letting him in, even if it is just for a little while.

‘You should go.’ ‘No.’ ‘Hyunjin-’ ‘I’m not leaving.’ ‘But why?’ she whispers, so much loneliness in her voice that his heart drops. ‘What do you mean?’ ‘Why are you staying? We’re not having sex, and we’re not in a relationship. You don’t have any obligations to stay,’ she murmurs, lips quivering as she speaks. ‘I know I don’t have any obligations, but I won’t leave you – not while you’re like this.’

They fall into silence again and it’s so heavy, weighing down both of their hearts. ‘No one ever stays,’ she says miserably, and he tilts his head questioningly. ‘My ex-boyfriends always left. My friends always leave. You always leave. My dad even left. So why are you staying now?’ she asks, and he’s devastated at her words. This is more than she’s ever told him, and he never expected to hear that this is her trauma. She’s got daddy issues, and that’s why she is the way she is. She’s a drug addict, an alcoholic, ridden with mental health illness, all because of her dad.

‘I’m all you have left, other than drugs and money.’ ‘That’s all I need.’ ‘If you’ve got what you need, why do you wanna die?’ ‘It’s all I need to survive. Not to live.’ ‘Don’t you want to live?’ ‘Of course I do. But not like this, not… haunted. Not weighed down. Not numb and empty, all the fucking time. I can’t escape. It’s all I am… when I’m sober. If I stay drunk, and high, I can forget it all. The second I start coming down, it all comes back, and it hurts so much. I just wanna feel… not even happy. Just… alive. For once. Without the help of alcohol and drugs and designer clothes. But they fill the emptiness inside me like nothing else does.’ ‘There’s so much more to life. Love, friendship, memories, nature, achievements.’ ‘I know, but my brain doesn’t work in that way. I could be… stood on top of the world, and I’d still feel like I want to die.’ ‘Let me help you,’ he replies, and she laughs.

‘You do help me. You help me fill the void my dad left behind. You’re an asshole. You might call me a good girl and praise me and baby me and treat me like a princess sometimes, but you’re emotionally unavailable, and you shout at me and get angry with me, and you’re never here when it matters which is good because I’d get attached if you were, and you’re horrible to me when we fuck, and you make me feel like I’m not good enough for you when you text other girls in front of me and check out every girl that passes us when we’re on a night out, and you never respond to the nudes I send you which makes me feel like I’m fucking ugly, but that’s okay because you’ll come and fuck me and I feel the validation that I need, and you never stay the night which makes me feel like you only ever want me for sex, but it’s okay because at least you like me enough to fuck me in the first place. You told me once that you won’t call me yours, but it’s okay because I’d rather my body be yours than none of me at all.’

She’s sobbing by the time she finishes speaking, struggling to breathe properly, and Hyunjin’s frozen in shock. He’s an asshole? No. He’s a guy who’s in love with her and doesn’t want her to know it, because she’s always told him that she doesn’t want his love, she wants his dick and his drugs. But maybe if he’d ignored her wishes, and openly loved her, she wouldn’t be so fucked up. She wouldn’t crave his worthless validation. She wouldn’t be so lonely that she wants to die.

‘But I’m-’ ‘No. Don’t you dare deny it and say some stupid fucking shit to try and manipulate me into thinking you care. You don’t have to. I know you couldn’t give a shit about me, and I’ve known for so long, and it doesn’t matter,’ she says, furiously wiping away her tears, and Hyunjin shakes his head, taking her trembling hands into his. ‘No, you don’t understand. I’m only like this because you pushed me away. We were so good at first, I used to openly adore you, but you pushed me away and told me that you didn’t want that from me.’ ‘Yeah, because I’m fucked up! I turned you into an asshole, and then fell in love with you! More fool fucking me! Can you just leave now?’ she asks, pulling her hands from his and looking away. His heart sings at her confession that she does love him, that this isn’t one-sided, but it quickly quietens when he sees the look on her face.

‘I’m literally trying to tell you that I’m in love with you too. I want to be with you, and do the things we’ve never done. Restaurant dates, and staying the night and laying with you, and shopping trips that don’t end up with us fucking in the Chanel back room – not that I’m complaining about that, obviously. But I just want to be with you. We could be so good together – just give us a chance. Things don’t have to be this way.’ ‘They are.’ ‘But they don’t have to be! Just give me a day. A day to be more than your dick appointment and your dealer. All I need is one day with you, and I can make the pain better.’

‘No, Hyunjin. Just go,’ she says quietly, the tears gone and her voice calm. She’s shutting herself off again, pushing him back out, and it makes him panic. ‘Don’t do this. This is your chance to be happy, for us to be happy together.’ ‘No. Leave, like you always do,’ she murmurs, and he can see the city lights reflected in her eyes, the galaxy held between her lashes.

‘I only left because you wanted me to.’ ‘I still want you to.’ ‘But you love me.’ ‘They don’t cancel each other out.’ ‘That doesn’t-’ ‘Make any sense? I know. I don’t make any sense. I want love, but I’m scared of it. I hate my dad for abandoning me, but I only ever want guys that abandon me so if you stay, I’ll fall out of love with you, or I’ll push you away like I did when we first started fucking so that I can carry on loving you. I was never treated right, but I only ever want guys that treat me badly, so if you treat me right, I’ll get bored of you. I never got love from my dad, so I’ve been running from it my whole life, and that isn’t gonna change. I’ve driven myself insane for years, trying so hard to understand why I’m like this, but I am, and you should just accept that instead of trying work me out.’

Hyunjin just blinks, trying to process her words. Where does he win? The only way he can have her is carrying on being the asshole he’s been for the past few years, but there’s only so long he can keep that up when he’s falling more and more in love with her by the day. But if he openly loves her, she won’t want him anymore. Hyunjin makes a vow that if, by chance, he ever encounters her dad, he’s gonna beat the shit out of him. And he also makes a vow that he’s gonna help her, get her to therapy or DAA, because there’s no other way he can see a positive outcome.

‘You should just leave.’ ‘How can I leave you like this?’ ‘Because I can’t love you if you stay. I don’t love people who stay, and I never have. So… go. Please,’ she says, no emotion, no nothing in her voice, or on her face. She looks like one of those ancient marble statues, passive and cold but beautiful. And Hyunjin knows that he doesn’t want to live a life without her in it, so he does the only thing he can tonight, the only thing that won’t push her away.

‘Fine. I’ll fucking leave, since you keep fucking telling me to,’ he says harshly, the girl flinching at the suddenness of him pushing himself off the windowsill, feet landing heavily on the floor. ‘Came here to fuck you, and you’re fucking crying instead. You’re such a fucking mess. I should have brought your fucking molly. At least you keep your fucking mouth shut when you’re rolling. Never tell me to come over if you’re in your feels again, ‘cause I don’t wanna sit here and listen to you whine about your shitty dad,’ he mutters angrily, loathing himself for the words he’s using against her, the kind of words he’s subjected her to for so long, the words that made her fall in love with him.

Despite his brain screaming at him to not look back before leaving, he does it anyway, and when he sees her reaching for her glass again, eyes filled with tears and lips curled up into a sad smile, he feels his heart break into a million little pieces. He should knock the glass out of her hand. He should tell her how much he loves her, and how he’s not gonna give up on them. He should force her to get into his car, take her to rehab, and tell her that he won’t stand by and watch her slowly kill herself. But he squares his shoulders, ignoring the clink of her glass against her Cartier rings, and leaves her bedroom with the weight of the world on his shoulders and her face in his mind.

[cinnawrites]

A Well Deserved Break

Summary: With Sucrose’s worries growing larger and larger seeing Albedo’s workaholic habits take over him, she decides to ask Cavalry Captain Kaeya for assistance in this matter. With much convincing, Kaeya succeeds in getting Albedo out of his office and brings the alchemist around Mondstadt for some fresh air. A break every once in a while can’t hurt anyone, right?

A/N; WOW this is a long fic! I really enjoy writing these two out OKAY?? I hope they aren’t OOC, I just really liked the ideas I had in mind and went with them. Hope you enjoy it too!

---------------------------------------------

After finishing up the last of his paperwork, Kaeya had decided to go out on a stroll around the Headquarters of the Knights of Favonius. He went over to the library, greeting Lisa and others around. He quite enjoyed walking around with no aim in mind after work. It was much more relaxing than sitting around going through dozens and dozens of documents Jean had given him.

Kaeya finished his round in the library and continued his stride in full pace. As he made his way down the hall, he noticed Sucrose, pacing back and forth. This wasn’t an unusual sight, she was always one to worry often. Nevertheless, he decided to approach her from behind to see how she’d react.

“GAH!” Sucrose yelled out as soon as Kaeya placed a hand on her shoulder, clearly startling him as well, “Oh, it’s just you, Sir Kaeya,” She adjusted her glasses and looked away from the taller man.

“Now, now, you can drop the formalities, Sucrose. You’re always so caught up with them, let loose every once in a while,” Kaeya said, stepping back from Sucrose. Her gaze traced its way back to the floor, as she fiddled with her hands. She didn’t seem too happy, particularly stressed out. Her saddened expression worried him, “Is everything alright?”

“Ah, well…” Sucrose thought for a moment, before her eyes lit up in excitement, “Actually, you’re the right person I need right now!”

“Oh, and how could I, a mere Knight, help the Chief Alchemist’s renowned assistant? Is it for an experiment? Or might it be… something personal?” Kaeya asked, making the shorter girl blush. She looked from side to side trying to find the right words to say, fiddling with the hem of her dress.

“Uh, well you see… um…” Sucrose fumbled over her words. She could never get through a conversation with the Cavalry Captain, she’d always get too embarrassed for her own good. He seemed to love teasing her, but she had a hard time laughing it off as easily as he does. While yes, he means well, she can’t help but feel very awkward around him.

“Hey, I was just kidding,” Kaeya said, trying to calm her nerves, “In all seriousness, what do you need me for? I’m more than willing to help you with anything you may need.”

Sucrose cleared her throat, her feeling of embarrassment washing over her. She found her words and went on to say, “It’s about Albedo.”

Kaeya seemed shocked by this. He didn’t expect her to need help with Albedo, of all people. Since they worked together, he assumed they had a close relationship. This meant something had to be off. He began to feel worried without having even heard the news yet. He beckoned her to continue.

“You know how he is with his work, continuously working on something he’s interested in and only stopping once he gets bored,” Sucrose continued, voice shaky as always. Kaeya responded with a nod, allowing her to take her time explaining the situation, “Well, this is one of those times. Except this time, he hasn’t left his laboratory in a few days, and I’m really getting worried. I’ve tried talking to him, convincing him to get out even if only for a few hours, but he doesn’t listen. I’m thinking maybe you could convince him to go out for the day and take a rest? The two of you get on quite well, and you’re much better at convincing people to do things than I am.”

Kaeya hummed as she finished explaining. She looked up at him, for what seems like the first time ever, with a pleading look on her face. She really, really was worried, which had rubbed off onto Kaeya minutes ago. Despite his usual calm and cool demeanor, he couldn’t help but worry for Albedo’s wellbeing.

“I see how it is,” Kaeya brought a hand up to his chin, “I can never seem to truly understand him. Either way, I’ll try talking to him about it and convince him to take a break.”

“Thank you so much, Kaeya,” Sucrose bowed ever so slightly, expressing her deepest and genuine gratitude.

He smiled, and walked past her, “Don’t you get too caught up in work either,” He said, before walking down the hall to get to the one and only Chief Alchemist’s laboratory.

Kaeya approached the door to Albedo’s laboratory, standing in front of it for a minute or two. He debated on just barging in and dragging the alchemist by the collar, but he didn’t. He instead went for the simpler, and gentler, approach of just knocking.

Knock. Knock.

No response. Kaeya knocked once more, this time saying, “Albedo, are you in here?”

Again, no response. Kaeya began to worry. Sucrose had been keeping watch for a while, so he was sure to be in there. Yet, he wasn’t responding at all, which had Kaeya’s concerns grow larger and larger. He knocked one last time, but nothing came from it. He couldn’t stand it any longer and barged right in, but the sight he saw was distressing.

Before him was an untidy workplace, something he never expected from the Chief Alchemist himself. Papers were scattered all over the place, each of them filled with notes of every kind. There were even different substances in jars and beakers alike scattered just as the papers were. Albedo must’ve been experimenting quite a lot, Kaeya thought to himself. 

Kaeya looked around to find the one and only Albedo, only to see the man with his face first into his desk, completely unmoving. He rushed over to him in a panic and shook him awake. The alchemist didn’t utter a word, so Kaeya shook him once more, this time with a lot more force.

“Albedo? Albedo! Wake up!” Kaeya practically yelled, shaking Albedo aggressively, earning a grunt from the man. His worries washed away slowly as Albedo turned his head over. However, Kaeya's stomach dropped at the sight of his face.

Albedo had dark circles around his eyes, which led him to believe he hadn't slept in days. His skin was quite pale, was he not eating either? Kaeya swallowed his concerns and gave him a gentle smile.

"Are you alright? You don't look very well," Kaeya said, gently rubbing Albedo's back. After all, he did give the poor man a rude awakening.

"Why are you here?" Albedo asked flat out, his voice coarse and dry. He hadn't been drinking much water either, the Cavalry Captain thought.

"Poor Sucrose had been worried sick for your well-being," Kaeya explained, "She simply asked me to come and check on you since you wouldn't listen to her yourself. Seems she was right to be worried, you're looking quite… disheveled."

Albedo groaned again, "I think I'm fine, thank you very much," He began getting himself up, seemingly not fazed by his current state. Kaeya's expression began to fade into a frown as he saw Albedo walk to the other side of his lab, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to work."

"Nuh-uh," Kaeya said, walking over to the alchemist, "You're going to work like that? When you're completely drained? You haven't eaten in days, or even slept for that matter, have you?"

"And why does that concern you?" Albedo asked, his voice venomous, unlike his usual calm self.

"Because I care about you."

Albedo tilted his head back, and thought for a second. He looked over to the Cavalry Captain himself, who's eyebrows were furrowed and his lips curled down into a frown. He never usually sees the man this vulnerable, let alone this concerned for his health. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, "Your concerns are appreciated, but-"

"I'm not giving you a choice, Albedo," Kaeya interrupted, grabbing the man by the wrist, "You need a break. You can't just keep pushing yourself like this."

"But my research-"

"Oh my Barbatos, Albedo won't you look at yourself for just one second?" Kaeya's voice began to crack, his expression becoming even more upset. A rare sight to see, Albedo thought.

Kaeya dragged him over to the mirror he had in his laboratory, placing his other hand onto Albedo's shoulder to get him to look straight into the mirror. Albedo hadn't looked into a mirror in a while, he had been too caught up with his new research after a day in Dragonspine.

And boy, was the man that looked back at him completely disheveled.

He finally saw the state his own face was in, with dark circles around his eyes and pale skin, he felt uneasy. Not to mention his clothing was entirely wrinkled from not having changed in who knows how long. Research was more important than his own hygiene, he thought, but erased that thought quickly from his mind.

He was a complete mess. And he hated that.

"Can't you see? Don't you understand why Sucrose and I are so concerned?" Kaeya said, his grip on Albedo's wrist tightening as well as on his shoulder. He looked down at the alchemist, who only looked at his reflection in shock.

"I…" Albedo started, but couldn't utter another word.

"You do, don't you?"

Albedo nodded. Kaeya then looked down and dragged the alchemist out of his office.

"Where are we going?" He asked, but quickly shut his mouth after getting a good feel for the dryness in his throat.

"To get you a fresh set of clothes and most importantly a shower," Kaeya explained, " We've still got a nice day ahead of us, but we need to get you sorted first."

Kaeya dragged him around Mondstadt, to get to his residence. They earned a number of stares, less because of the fact that Albedo was a walking mess, but more so because the one and only Cavalry Captain was dragging the Chief Alchemist around the city. Albedo had tucked his head down, but Kaeya was walking with a confident stride as always. 

After a few minutes, they quickly got to Kaeya's house, a nice and cozy home. It wasn’t too special, but it was enough for Kaeya to get by. After all, he spent most of his days at the Knights of Favonius Headquarters or at the local tavern. He quickly opened the door and gestured for Albedo to enter, which he gladly did.

“Welcome, don’t mind the mess,” Kaeya said, closing the door behind him.

Albedo looked around. What Kaeya considered to be a mess was underwhelming compared to his own laboratory, but he shrugged it off, “I don’t mind.”

“Good, good,” Kaeya said, waltzing over to his room, with Albedo following close behind. The Cavalry Captain went through his drawers, looking for clothes that would fit Albedo, “Do you mind loose fitting clothing? I think that it would suit you quite well, but at the end of the day it’s up to you. Unless you don’t want to wear my clothes, that’s perfectly fine. Though, I assure you that they’re clean, and much better than the ones you have on now.”

Albedo looked back down at his own clothing. It was filthy with remnants of substances from his experiments, he couldn’t go around Monstadt in this. Wearing Kaeya’s clothing couldn’t be any worse than what he already had on, right? “I don’t mind. We’re already here, so I suppose there’s no harm in that.”

Kaeya smiled and handed him some simple, yet nice, clothes. A simple, yet very well kept, white shirt. The sleeves were puffy and the ends were frilled, Albedo was never really one to wear shirts like these. The pair of pants he was handed was a pair of black tight fitting pants. They’d probably be too long on him, so he’d have to roll up the cuffs, Albedo thought. 

“Will these do? They’re some older clothes of mine, they don’t fit me anymore. They should do the job, shouldn’t they?” Kaeya said, now facing him. Albedo nodded.

“These are fine, thank you,” Albedo replied, a slight smile on his face.

“Before you get into the shower,” Kaeya started, now walking to another area of his house. Albedo followed him into the kitchen. He poured them both glasses of water, and handed one to Albedo, “Here, drink up. You need it.”

Albedo gently put down the clothing on the counter and took a sip from his glass. The chalky feeling in his throat began to fade away, which left him in satisfaction. He drank the whole glass in one shot after the first sip and handed it back to Kaeya.

“I knew it,” The blue-haired man smiled, chuckling to himself, “You can go shower now, it’s down the hall. I’ll plan out what we’ll be doing for the night in the meantime.”

The alchemist quickly went down the hall and got into the shower. Kaeya smiled, he was glad he was getting Albedo out for once. Who knows what would have happened if he hadn’t dragged him from his laboratory? Kaeya shook his head, getting rid of the thought from his mind.

He went back to planning out the night in his mind. He thought of the perfect night for the two of them; a simple date- well, a night out- for dinner, a sightseeing trip around and maybe, just maybe a trip to the tavern.

But Kaeya wanted to think of it as one. 

It didn’t have to be a date.

As a dinner date where he’d get to just observe Albedo’s every movement, and how he always moved with grace, even when he’d eat. Well, that’s what Kaeya liked to think. Knowing the alchemist, it would definitely be the case. As a night out to go sightseeing, but secretly just observing the way Albedo’s hair fell perfectly in place on his head. How bright his eyes shone in the light, and reflected right back into his own.

Kaeya felt his face flush just thinking of Albedo and all his perfections. He tilted his head back, leaning onto the counter of the kitchen. He took another sip of his water, cooling his heated face. He couldn’t help but get flustered when thinking of him, even though he could easily think of anyone else just fine. He knew what this meant, but didn’t want to admit it to himself just yet.

Moments later, Albedo stepped out from the shower, in new clothes, looking much better than before. Even though the dark circles under his eyes remained, he was glowing brighter than before.

“You look great,” Kaeya said abruptly, something he wasn’t intending on saying out loud. Albedo looked at him in confusion, his expression growing into a smile. Kaeya averted his gaze, staring down the hallway instead.

“Thank you,” Albedo said, drying his hair with the towel in his hands, “And thanks again for letting me use the shower, it was really appreciated.”

Kaeya looked back at him, “It’s really nothing, you needed it after all, so who am I to refuse helping you out?”

“I suppose you’re right…” Albedo trailed off, “So, what exactly will we be doing tonight?” 

Kaeya hummed, “I was thinking of going over to Good Hunter for a simple, yet refreshing meal. I wouldn’t want to overwhelm you with anything too fancy tonight, is that alright? I was also thinking of going on a stroll around Mondsatd, what do you think?”

Albedo nodded. Though he never really preferred going to restaurants, Kaeya seemed eager to take him, so he just couldn’t refuse, “I honestly don’t mind where we go, as long as we eat. I’m getting quite hungry.”

“Shall we?” Kaeya gestured towards the door. Kaeya made haste to the exit, Albedo following quickly in his steps.

Good Hunter wasn’t far from where Kaeya lived, meaning they got there in the short time of a few minutes. They each ordered themselves some Fisherman's Toast as well as Chicken-Mushroom skewers. Kaeya also got himself a Calla Lily Seafood Soup, seeing as he was practically starving. He had so much work to do during the day, he simply forgot to eat. Albedo never really had a big appetite, even in times like these, so it was no surprise that he didn’t order much else.

They began to eat, Kaeya going full at it, while still being proper. Albedo took small and delicate bites. His expression turned happier now that he was eating some proper food. While it may not have been much, he was glad to be eating again. He couldn’t help but think about the research he left behind, but his thoughts were washed away by Kaeya’s sweet smile at the sight of him enjoying his food. Albedo smiled back, taking another bite of his food.

Once they finished their main meals, Kaeya took the pleasure to order them a plate of Tea Break Pancakes as a dessert of sorts. Albedo’s eyes widened; he just loved dessert.

They split the dish and finished it in minutes. Of course, they were chatting every now and then, but that was kept to a minimum. Kaeya took the time to watch Albedo eat, glancing up at him between bites. Albedo seemed really, really happy to be having such good food. It was a relief to Kaeya that the alchemist was enjoying himself. At times, Albedo would look up at Kaeya, meeting his stare, and instantly looking away. Kaeya chuckled under his breath seeing the man quickly look away, eating bite after bite of the pancakes until the plate was clean.

“Thank you for the meal,” Albedo said, putting his plate to the side for the waitress to come and take away.

“You’ve been saying ‘Thank you’ an awful lot tonight,” Kaeya teased, “It’s my pleasure, Albedo. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it.”

Albedo felt the heat rise to his cheeks. Kaeya smiled seeing him clear his throat and look off into the distance to cool down. He then got up and paid for the meal. The two went off to the next location of Kaeya’s choice; Cat’s Tail. 

Albedo wasn’t much of a drinker and ordered a simple non-alcoholic drink. Kaeya on the other hand fetched himself a nice drink from Diona. She looked at him with pure anger after handing him the drink, almost like she didn’t want him to enjoy it. He gave her a smile as he asked for seconds, which made her even more upset. Kaeya paid for the drinks once more, which left Albedo feeling bad.

“Are you sure it’s alright for you to be paying for all of this?” Albedo asked, gripping tightly onto his drink., “It seems to be a lot of Mora already…”

“Like I said, it’s fine,” Kaeya replied, finishing up his drink, “Everything we’re doing tonight is to allow you to rest, away from anything work related. I’m not going to make you pay for your break, that just doesn’t make any sense.”

“I suppose…” Albedo took a sip of his drink, which was definitely refreshing. He hadn’t had much to drink besides water for several days, so this new taste was quite enjoyable.

Once they finished up their drinks, Kaeya escorted Albedo around Mondstadt. Of course, it was a usual tour for the both of them, but it was still nice. Albedo had been holed up indoors for Barbatos knows how long, he had almost forgotten how lovely the city he resided in was. Despite it getting late, there were still many people around having their share of fun. Kaeya stopped to chat quickly with the people passing by, but kept his attention on Albedo at all times.

They passed Flora’s flower shop, which was just about to close. Kaeya quickly requested to buy a flower, to which Flora just couldn’t refuse, even if it was getting close to her bedtime. He bought some Cecilias, Albedo’s favorite flowers. He handed them to him, but took one and placed it in Albedo’s hair. It had dried completely during their time out, which let the Cecilia rest perfectly in place right above his ear.

“Perfect,” Kaeya said, stepping away to get a good look at the alchemist, “You look stunning.”

“Kaeya, that’s...” Was all that Albedo could let out. He looked down at the flowers, they were beautiful. Kaeya stepped closer, getting the alchemist to look up at him.

“What? Am I not allowed to appreciate this fine work of art in front of me?”

Albedo tucked his head back down at that comment. Kaeya laughed cheerfully, gently stroking the shorter man’s hair. To his surprise, Albedo pressed his head against the Cavalry Captain’s chest, bringing them close. His hold on the cecilias tightened, as he hid his face away from the world. There weren’t many people around, Flora had gone inside and so had many others. 

“Is something wrong?” Kaeya asked, his voice as gentle as can be. He kept stroking Albedo’s hair with the same delicateness as before.

“You’re…” Albedo struggled to find his words, he was never the best with speaking, let alone in these circumstances, “You’re too much.”

“Oh? I’m sure you’re enjoying it, your face is quite hot, you know?” Kaeya said, bringing Albedo even closer than they already were, “Yup. Definitely hot. Such a nice feeling.”

Albedo tried to swallow his embarrassment away. He tried to remain calm, but he just couldn’t. Not after all that has been happening that evening. He didn’t hate it at all. In fact, he loved how Kaeya would tease him. It got him all flustered, feeling butterflies in his stomach. Just as flustered as when he would imagine himself with Kaeya, being held this close. Now that it was a reality, he just didn’t know how to react other than hiding himself away. He could only see darkness, Kaeya was embracing him tightly enough for no light to filter through. 

Kaeya was being patient with him, waiting until he was comfortable to release himself from this embrace. He always loved teasing the alchemist and seeing how he’d react. Having Albedo all pressed up against him felt like a dream come true. He wanted to jump up and down, maybe even spin the alchemist around and press a kiss against his lips, but instead waited in this position. He feared ruining the moment with all the ideas he had in mind. Just standing around like this was just as enjoyable though.

Moments passed, and Albedo finally dug his head out, gently pushing away from Kaeya. He let the shorter man go with no hesitation and smiled.

“All better now?” Kaeya asked, gently Albedo’s cheek. He smiled, nuzzling his head into the taller man’s hand.

“Mmhm,” Albedo hummed.

“There’s one last thing I’d like for us to do, is that alright?” Kaeya asked, to which Albedo nodded.

He then took Albedo by the hand, taking them up past the market district and to the Anemo God Status Plaza. Up there was a breathtaking view of the city of Mondstadt, which looked even prettier at sunset. The two of them went over to the edge and leaned over, taking in the breeze from up above.

“Our city is absolutely amazing, isn’t it?” Kaeya said, looking at Albedo. The alchemist was looking off into the distance, entranced by the view. The cecilia on Albedo’s head began to fall, but Kaeya quickly caught it and placed it back right where it was. The alchemist looked back at him, his eyes shining brightly. Kaeya smiled, before taking a deep breath.

“Don’t you see how important it is to take a break every now and then? Please don’t overwork yourself this much again,” Kaeya said, stroking Albedo’s face once more.

“I know, and I’m sorry for making you and Sucrose worry,” Albedo said, sighing, “I just get so carried away with my work, it’s hard to stop. Especially when it's just so captivating I just have to learn more.”

“That’s okay, you just need to learn when it’s time to take a step back. Even if it’s just for a few minutes or a whole day, you deserve the break. You need to be in tip-top shape to continue working, Sir Chief Alchemist.”

Albedo smiled, “I suppose so. Thank you, Kaeya.”

The two continued to look out in the distance and the sun set and the moon rose. Albedo felt his eyelids get heavier, leaning his head onto Kaeya’s shoulder. Albedo yawned as he remained in that position for a few more instances. The captain took notice of this and asked, “Would you like to go home?”

“Mm… Not my home,” Albedo stated, straightening his posture, “How about we go to yours?”

Kaeya felt a bit shocked by the offer, but didn’t decline. He held onto Albedo’s hand, the other man holding on just as tight. They walked back to Kaeya’s house, drowsiness almost completely overtaking the alchemist. The Cavalry captain unlocked the door, letting the both of them in.

“Would you like for me to sleep on the-”

“No. Let’s go to your room,” Albedo didn’t even let Kaeya finish his suggestion and overlapped it with his own straightforward one. Kaeya chuckled.

“Wow, so direct,” Kaeya teased, “Fine then, let’s go.”

Kaeya led them to his room. Albedo placed the flowers on the nightstand and instantly laid himself down on the bed, getting himself all cozied up under the covers.

“Is this your house now?” Kaeya asked, looking for a pair of clothes to get changed into.

“Might as well be,” Albedo’s voice was muffled. He turned back to see the alchemist all wrapped up in the sheets, his eyes fluttering shut.

“Already moving in? I did not expect you to be the one to take these steps so quickly,” Kaeya said, as he slowly took his clothes off. Albedo peaked to see what he was doing, and immediately shut his eyes seeing a shirtless Kaeya at the foot of the bed. The blue-haired man turned to see the covers completely pulled over Albedo’s head now. He finished getting changed, but decided to ditch his shirt.

He went over to Albedo, pulling back the sheets, “You were so forward just seconds ago, what happened to that?”

Albedo eyed Kaeya’s frame. It was already getting dark, but he could still see Kaeya quite clearly. His chest was well defined, hair falling perfectly in place against his figure, catching Albedo’s eye. He stared for a few seconds, before immediately looking away. Kaeya leaned over Albedo, smirking as he watched his gaze avert back and forth from him to the wall. 

“What’s the matter? Can’t handle me now?” Kaeya leaned in closer to Albedo. The alchemist tried looking him straight in the eye, but drowsiness began to take over him, his eyelids feeling heavier and heavier.

“Mm…” Albedo hummed, shutting his eyes, “I couldn’t handle you to begin with.”

Kaeya dragged his hand along Albedo’s face, leaning in closer and closer. He placed a soft kiss on his forehead, carefully plucking the cecilia from his hair.  Albedo was too drowsy to process what had happened and simply nuzzled his head into the pillow. His eyes were shut tight as he drifted fast asleep.

Kaeya walked over to the other side of the bed, laying down next to Albedo. He got under the covers and pulled the alchemist close, embracing him from behind. Albedo didn’t budge one bit, already sleeping soundly. The captain tucked his head into the crook of Albedo’s neck.

“Goodnight, my love.”

[date posted; 26.04.21]

[finleycannotdraw]

Guess what? I’m re-binge-reading Good Omens. And here are some Obervations that I forgot about and some things I might put in fics. Also things I found funny. Basically my dumb commentary on the book.

Crowley actually flees Sister Mary. He doesn’t saunter vaguely away. He flees.

Ligur is rather more thoughtful than he’s portrayed in the show

Anathema likes to read about herself, and her teachers are confused because she spells words like Agnes Nutter

Crowley apologizes

By page 41, it is mentioned at least twice that Aziraphale and Crowley Do Not choose each other’s company for any reason other than that they are constants, that they have an Arrangement, and that they are Friends because being Enemies got boring.

Aziraphale blushes!!!!!!

The Drunk Scene is fuckin hilarious and it’s actually a lot longer than it is in the show, and really you ought to read it. (Book pages 47-50)

My mom (who has a PhD in human development) would probably like to talk to Crowley about upbringing because they seem to agree on how important it is

War has always looked 25, and had a vulture that died of fatty degeneration

Pollution is very cleverly compared to actual pollution

Warlock has Kermit the frog overalls, and Nanny Ashtoreth is described as someone who “advertises unspecified but strangely explicit services in certain magazines”. The tutors are present for about four paragraphs. Warlock is good at math and likes banana flavored bubblegum.

Crowley has a slice of angel cake. Aziraphale eats it. Aziraphale also eats deviled eggs. Hm.

Crowley calls Aziraphale angel casually enough to suggest he’s been doing it for a long time

Some girl at Warlock’s party calls Aziraphale a f*ggot

Crowley glares suspiciously at a gerbil. It is suggested that Hell has, in the past, sent hell-gerbils in place of hellhounds.

“Oh dear,” muttered Aziraphale, not swearing with the practiced ease of one who has spent six thousand years not swearing, and who wasn’t going to start now.

Adam and his friends play in a place called The Pit, where shopping carts go to die, apparently

Crowley is the first one to mention sides in the book!??!? Also Crowley goes on about how humans are more evil than Hell (but he calls himself evil—is he calling himself human already?)

Aziraphale yells “get off the road, you clown!”

“What’s a velvet underground?” *love confession???* “you wouldn’t like it”

Aziraphale is a bit rude to Crowley in the “flashes of love” scene and Crowley is less panicked about it

Crowley glares at the Bentley and it fixes itself

Anathema’s bike is called Phaeton

COULD THEY ACT ANY MORE MARRIED OH MY GOD

Aziraphale speaks like. Like ugh. “FlOUndeR on tHe rOcKS of inEquiTY”

“Thirty seconds later someone shot both of them. With incredible accuracy.” *cuts to a random pleasant story about Mary Hodges* *cuts back to where Aziraphale has fallen into a rhododendron and Crowley licks the paint before he knows it’s paint* dumbasses

Crowley does not slam Aziraphale into the wall

Crowley is actually pretty impatient and doesn’t argue with Aziraphale when he’s worried

“Nothing but dust and fundamentalists” “that was nasty” “sorry, couldn’t help it”

When the radio sings “Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,” Crowley sings “for me” and then screams

Crowley asks Aziraphale if he’ll keep in touch, and Aziraphale doesn’t say tickety-boo, and then Crowley says “right” and feels very alone

the international express man is small and has glasses, and wears green woolen socks

The sword, which turns out to be Aziraphale’s, is described as having an aura of hatred and menace, which makes me think of how it could’ve gotten that aura from Heaven or from humanity or from War...

In the book Pepper has red hair and freckles, which makes it a cool comparison to War’s appearance and the defeat of War

Adam is excellent at slouching, apparently

Occasionally, as Aziraphale reads the book, he would very nearly swear

“He wouldn’t have said ‘that’s weird’ if a flock of sheep had cycled past playing violins.”

“If you had told him there were children starving in Africa he would’ve been flattered that you’d noticed.”

“...that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide.” (151)

Wensleydale watches David Attenborough programs

Shadwell’s voice is described as “the color of an old raincoat” and seems to fake smoking cigarettes

Aziraphales cocoa is moldy and solidified by the time he calls Arthur Young, and has a thin layer of dust on himself too

Newt says that the walls look like nicotine and the floor looks like cigarette ash, and he suspects both are, actually, coated with these substances

Newt looks a bit like Clark Kent, and people seem to like Shadwell for some reason, much to his annoyance.

Aziraphale calls Shadwell “dear boy” on the phone

Agnes Nutter called God a daft old fool #goals

Adam is wayyyy too good at video games

Smelling Anathema’s perfume makes Newt uncomfortable

Adam suggests that Pepper ought to have Russia cause of her red hair (huh)

Anathema and Newt actually have decent conversations?? Like?? Show??? C’mon, man. The show kinda butchered their relationship.

Trees, apparently, make a ‘vvrooooommm’ sound when they grow very fast

“He suspected that Crowley was from the Mafia, or the underworld, although he would have been surprised how right he nearly was.” Shadwell also thought Aziraphale was a Russian spy. Wow, Shadwell.

Aziraphale calls Crowley and actually says “shut up” to him, and then when the answering machine beeps, he tells Crowley to “stop making noises” and then he swears for the first time ever.

The fuckin’ footnote on page 227

“A sleek computer was the sort of thing Crowley felt that the sort of human he tried to be would have.” I like the word choice here. He’s not pretending to be a human, he’s trying to be one. That’s a really important distinction.

It never actually says what Crowley does to his plants.

Crowley’s flat is very white. Wow, Crowley. It just looks dark because of the lighting. Heaven imagery and symbolism out my ears, goddammit.

Why does Hell say Crowley’s name so much when talking to him?? Honestly, I think that’s an intentional dig at his chosen name, using it in their speech to scare him. Wow, Hell. (And wow, Finn, excellent sentence)

Whenever the book says something is shaped like something, it definitely isn’t that thing. “man-shaped” “dog-shaped” “car-shaped”... makes it pretty obvious they aren’t men, dogs, or cars, huh.

The code to Crowley’s safe is 4004. The year he “slithered onto this stupid, marvelous planet”... and the year he met Aziraphale, of course. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, Crowley, my dude.

Crowley consideres sticking Hastur into his car until he turns into Freddie Mercury but then decides even he isn’t that cruel

Actual text that I feel like nobody really agrees with: “Madame Tracy was by many yardsticks quite stupid”

“Do I look like I run a bookshop?” “...imagine me out of uniform, sir, and what kind of man would you see before you? Honestly?” “A prat.”

I’m crying. The fucking bookshop fire scene made me fucking cry. I’m literally crying.

“...on all fours in the blazing bookshop, Crowley cursed Aziraphale, and the ineffable plan, and Above, and Below.” “The police and firemen looked at him, saw the expression on his face, and stayed exactly where they were.” “...a crack of thunder so loud it hurt....” *the sound of Finley sobbing into their cat*

The shortest biker in the cafe thing is 6′2, what the fuck

War, Famine, Pollution, and Pop Trivia 1962-1979

“Pollution removed his helmet and shook out his long white hair. He had taken over when Pestilence, muttering about penicillin, had retired in 1936. If only the old boy had known what opportunities the future had held.” HMMMMMMMMMMM

“There were no bitches in Hell either.” I know it’s talking about female dogs, but I rather thought Hell was full of bitches.

“Why are you talking like a poofter?” “Ah. Australia.”

“gOsh, aM i on teLEviSiON?” (Basically Aziraphale gets passionate about stuff and likes to talk).

Crowley is actually an optimist and doesn’t dwell too much on how sucky the world is. He doesn’t go get smashed in a bar. He just finds Aziraphale’s notes in the book and heads to Tadfield. And also, his new pair of sunglasses just... materializes out of his eyes. And he likes to whistle.

“Death and Famine and War and Pollution continued biking to Tadfield. And Grievous Bodily Harm, Cruelty to Animals, Things Not Working Properly Even After You’ve Given Them A Good Thumping But Secretly No Alcohol Lager, and Really Cool People traveled with them.”

“on top of the pile a rather large octopus waved a languid tentacle at them. The sergeant resisted the temptation to wave back.” Honestly dude, if an octopus waved at me I’d wave back.

Wait Agnes was apparently talking to Shadwell and not God when she said yowe daft old foole. I dunno

Madame Tracy: You old silly. Shadwell: 

Aziraphale does not know how to get rid of demons. Canonically. “Had never done other to get rid of demons than to hint to them very strongly that he, Aziraphale, had some work to be getting on with, and wasn’t it getting late? And Crowley always got the hint.”

The road to Hell is paved with frozen door to door salesmen, apparently. The question is where it is, because the demons always seem to just stem out of the ground.

“Heigh ho,” said Anthony Crowley, and just drove anyway. I love this sentence during that scene. 

I bet Hastur gets really mad whenever he hears Aziraphale’s voice from now on

Crowley isn’t breathing the entire burning Bentley scene

ADAM. SAID. “But I reckon you can make your own side” AND WE FUCKIN IGNORED IT?

The temperature above the M25 was simultaneously 700ºC and -140ºC which makes me think of something I read about magenta not being real. The M25 is magenta.

I feel like “Agnes” is just going to become an inside joke between Anathema and Newt at this point, and it will drive Crowley insane because he knows who she is but somehow still doesn’t get the joke.

I’m six inches taller than R.P. Tyler, and apparently according to the back sleeve of the book jacket, I’m very similar in height to Neil Gaiman

R.P. Tyler thought Shadwell was a ventriloquist’s dummy, and then sees cows doing somersaults

“That’s terrific. Much obliged,” said Crowley. — “Funny weather we’re having, isn’t it?” “Is it? I hadn’t noticed.” “Probably because your car is on fire.” .... Also the fact that Crowley looks like a young man which I find interesting.

“The Four Button-Pressers of the Apocalypse”

“Where is Armageddon, anyway?” “I’ve always meant to look that up.” “There’s an Armageddon, Pennsylvania”

Famine is the one that says “that’s one big avocado”, and also, I find it interesting that War, more than once, talks about love. (All is fair in love and war much?)

Anathema threatens the guard with a stick, pretending it’s a gun

Aziraphale, of course, asks Crowley to sort it out because he, Aziraphale, is “the nice one” and then proceeds to sort it out himself. Because of course he does. Because what else could he possibly do.

I just ADORE THIS BOOK OKAY

I’M PROBABLY GOING TO READ IT AGAIN IN A MONTH

Aziraphale and Crowley are so fuckin married I can’t

[alwaysachorusgirl]

We’ve Got Tonight

Pairing: Rafael Barba x Reader

Word Count: 3,540

Square: Free Space, using “We’ve Got Tonight” by Bob Seger from the song list (song lyrics in bold type)

TW: Includes a brief re-cap of “Sightless in a Savage Land”, so a brief mention of rape murder; angst, hurt/comfort, implied smut

Tags: @thatesqcrush, @madamsnape921

A/N: This is a follow up to “An Exile of Our Own Making”. Sorry for the delay in getting this out. Everything was going fine until I hit a patch of writer’s block and bad mental health days. This starts prior to “Sightless in a Savage Land” and then jumps to immediately afterward. This also ended up being on the longer side. I feel like I threw everything at it, except the kitchen sink.

           After your fateful meeting with Rafael you had gone home and cried yourself to sleep. The next day you went into work and everyone seemed to automatically know that something was wrong. Amanda and Kat eventually got it out of you. As expected, Amanda wasn’t thrilled that you’d gone to see your ex without her to back you up. Kat, ever the good partner, said she’d there to listen if you wanted to talk about it. You didn’t but thanked her anyway. Lucia Barba called three times, begging you to come to Christmas dinner and talk to her son. As much as you wanted one of Lucia’s home-cooked meals, you politely declined. You were working the Christmas shift. You did reassure her that you would speak to Rafael again, but only when you were ready to, and on your own terms.

           You also scheduled an emergency session with your therapist. She also wasn’t thrilled that you had gone to see Rafael, but she listened while you cried and dumped out the contents of your heart. It eventually led to a discussion about forgiveness, more specifically, whether or not you could forgive Rafael. You had told her that you thought you could, but you still needed more time to process your current emotions. You needed to sit down and have an actual conversation with him, you had barely given him an opportunity to speak when you’d last met. You figured that you should at least give him a chance to explain himself, even if it hurt to hear it.

******************

           Thankfully Christmas Day was uneventful. You caught up on all your paperwork, reviewed open casefiles, updated some profiles and case notes, and cleaned and reorganized your desk. Liv called a couple hours before your shift was over to check in and tell you to go home early and enjoy the rest of the day. You thanked her, and then called in your usual order to your favorite Thai takeout place as you were walking out the door.

********************

           When you arrived back at your apartment, takeout dinner in hand, you were met at the door by a talkative orange ball of fluff.

           “Mrow! Mrow! Mrow!”

           “Yes, baby, I know! Your dinner is late,” You said to your cat. You made sure your door was locked, then put down your food and work bag and shrugged off your coat and boots. “Just give me a sec- hey! Inigo! That food is not for you!”

           Inigo stopped sniffing the takeout bag and looked at you like he was insulted. You sighed and picked up the food, taking into your kitchen and placing it on the counter. You then grabbed Inigo’s food and water bowls. You refilled the water bowl and put it back down, hoping it would distract him while you opened the cat food can and used a fork to deposit the wet, squishy substance into his food dish. Because it was Christmas, you garnished it with few cat treats. You put the dish down next to his water bowl and he hungrily dug in.

           “Merry Christmas, Inigo,” you said with a smile.

           After changing into your pajamas, you settled on the couch with your dinner and a glass of wine and began your annual Christmas movie marathon. You weren’t sure how long you’d be able to stay awake, so you started off with Gremlins. You had just gotten to the part where Billy is starting to bond with Gizmo when you phone rang. You grabbed it off the coffee table and saw it was Lucia Barba wanting to facetime. You swiped to answer and were shocked to see Rafael’s face looking back at you.

           “Hi, I know that I’m probably the last person that you want to talk to, but I just wanted to say, Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

           “It’s okay, I’m glad you called, but next time, use your own phone, okay? Merry Christmas Rafael. How are you?”

           “I’m about as well as I can be. You?”

           “Yeah, I’m good,” you replied. A loud sound from your TV got both your attention.

           “Is that the sound of a Mogwai in distress?” Rafael inquired. “You’re watching Gremlins, aren’t you?”

           “Of course, I am, it’s my favorite Christmas movie.”

           At that moment, Inigo decided to jump into your lap and demand his nightly cuddles.

           “Wait, you have a cat now?”

           At the sound of Rafael’s voice, Inigo turned and looked at your phone, cocking his head to the side in confusion.

           “Mrow?”

           “Yes, I do. Rafael, meet Inigo. Inigo, can you say ‘Hi’ to Rafael?”

           Inigo gave a disinterested “Mrow”, and then curled up in your lap and started to purr. You massaged his head with your free hand.

           “Wow,” said Rafael, “I was not expecting that. Is he named after who I think he’s named after?”

           “Yes, he is,” you chuckled. “I adopted him about six months after you left. My therapist thought it might be good if I had an animal to take care of, and I’ve always been a cat person. He was an injured kitten when I found him at the shelter. I took one look at him, and I just knew. He’s been my fluffy baby ever since.”

           You were surprised how easily the conversation flowed between the two of you. Neither of you brought up the elephant in the room, but that was okay. You weren’t ready to have that conversation yet, and when you did, you wanted it to be face to face. Right now, it just felt good to talk to him again. He told you about the legal work he’d been doing, you told him stories about your cat, and how Sonny was doing working in the DA’s office. And by the time you signed off the call, you felt a spark of hope growing in your heart.

********************

The time between Christmas and New Year’s came and went. You spoke to Rafael a few more times via facetime. You had time to think, and the more you thought about it, the more you wondered if a second chance was staring you right in the face. Life wasn’t a movie and most people didn’t get second chances, but every day that went by made you a little more sure that reconciliation was possible.

Rafael was on your mind so much that you were almost grateful when you were awoken in the wee hours of New Year’s morning by the Amber Alert on your phone. SVU was being called in to find a missing teenage girl, and it was just the distraction you needed. If only you had known the twists and turns that case would take, evolving into a rape, and then murder case, when’s the girl’s father, Mickey Davis, shot and killed her rapist.

Rafael stepped in and defended Davis. It was both heart-wrenching and exhilarating to watch him go up against Sonny in the courtroom. Sonny was your friend and former partner, and you knew he wasn’t happy about the situation. But watching Rafael strut around the courtroom, making his arguments, cross-examining witnesses, making objections, you couldn’t help but be completely in awe of him. He was wholly in his element, like he’d never been gone.

**********************

When all was said and done, Sonny walked away victorious with a guilty verdict. He should have been thrilled, but instead he was sitting in Forlini’s with you, Rafael, and the rest of the team, sulking into his beer. You stood off to the side, nursing your Jack and Coke, unsure of what to say or do to make him feel better. You and Rafael had behaved like complete professionals when you had to interact during the case, but that hadn’t stopped a stressed-out Sonny from snapping at you and calling your friendship and loyalty into question.

So, you kept your mouth shut and stared longingly at Rafael, hanging onto his every word. At some point he received a text from his mother and headed out, saying something about Lucia insisting on going to Miami to visit the rest of the family. You saw Amanda stand up and you thought she was headed back to the bar, but you then felt her elbow you in the side. You gave her a look of confusion.

“What are you waiting for? Go after him,” she told you.

You nodded in response, put the rest of your drink down, and grabbed your coat and purse.

“Thanks Coach, good pep talk.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” she replied. “Now go get your man.”

You exited Forlini’s and looked up and down the sidewalk for Rafael, but he wasn’t there. You decided to check around the corner, and if you still didn’t catch sight of him, you would go back to bar and call him. You dashed down the street and around the corner. You stopped in your tracks when you saw him, his back to you, deep in conversation with Liv. Liv saw you, gave you a nod and smiled.

“Happy New Year, Rafael, “she told him, “Oh, and I think someone else wants a word with you.”

Rafael turned and smiled when he saw you, and you smiled back. Liv patted you on the shoulder she walked by, leaving you and Rafael alone together. You took a deep breath and walked toward him.

“Hi,” you said, when you got close enough.

“Hi,” he replied.

“You did really well today, Rafael, I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you, Y/N, that means a lot.”

“Look, “you started, “I know your plans don’t include me right now, but I was thinking that maybe, if you have time later, I’m ready to sit down and actually talk. I never gave you a chance to explain yourself, and I’m sorry. I didn’t handle that well.”

“Y/N, you have nothing to be sorry about. I didn’t handle it well, either. Everything you said, I needed to hear.”

“All the same, please, Rafael?” You gazed up into his green eyes. You felt your resolve cracking again as a tear rolled down your face. Rafael gently touched your cheek, brushing it away with his thumb, and this time, you didn’t pull away from his touch.

“It’s okay, Cariño, if you want to talk, then we’ll talk.”

You let out a breath that you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. And then you did want you wanted to do the first moment you saw him sitting there in Forlini’s: You wrapped your arms around his sturdy torso and buried your face in the crook of his neck, holding on for dear life. You felt his arms circle around you, pulling you as close as he could. You breathed in his scent, a mixture of his cologne, coffee, whiskey, and something that was uniquely him. You felt him run his fingers through your hair and kiss your forehead.

“It’s okay, Cariño,” he murmured softly. “I’ve got you, you’re okay, you’re okay. I’m right here.”

“Then why am I scared that you’ll disappear if I let go?”

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

You weren’t sure how long the two of you stood there holding onto each other. It was obvious that neither one of you wanted to let go. Rafael massaged small circles into your back, whispering words of comfort and reassurance into your ear. You melted into him, just like you had so many times before. Any remaining doubts you had flew out of your mind. You loved him. You belonged with him. You forgave him. You wanted him back.

“Cariño? I’ll tell you what, why don’t you come have dinner with me and my mother tonight?”

“I wouldn’t want to impose,” your replied, shaking yourself out of your thoughts.

“You’re not imposing. My mother would love to see you, and you know how she cooks; there will be more than enough food.”

“I’d be late, I have run back home first. I have a hungry cat waiting for me, remember?”

“Then we will take a detour to Brooklyn on the way to the Bronx,” Rafael said with a chuckle.

“You do know that’s an out-of-the-way detour, right?”

“Cariño, as far as I’m concerned, it’s worth it. I’ll just text my mother and let her know that I’m running late.”

********************

Thankfully traffic wasn’t as heavy as it usually was, and you got back to your apartment relatively quickly. Rafael waited in the car while you ran in, fed Inigo, changed out of your work clothes, and ran back out. Then it was off to Lucia’s apartment in the Bronx. As promised, Lucia welcomed you with open arms.

“Hermosa!” She cried, enveloping you in a hug. “I’m so happy to see you! I missed you at Christmas! Come in! Come in! Dinner is almost ready. Rafi! Why didn’t you tell me you were bringing Y/N?”

“I wanted to surprise you, Mamí,” he said, embracing his mother.

“Well, consider me surprised then. I’ll go set an extra place at the table.”

She headed for the kitchen and Rafael took your coat, hanging it up on the hook by the door. He placed a tentative hand on your lower back, but once again, you didn’t pull away. You gazed into his emerald eyes, allowing yourself to get lost for a moment. Before you could stop yourself, your hand was caressing his cheek. You shuddered when he placed his hand over yours and kissed your palm. Your heart pounded like a jackhammer in your chest, and you started wonder what would happen if you just-

“Dinner’s ready!” Lucia called.

You took a step back and tried to pull your hand away, but Rafael held on and placed a soft kiss on your knuckles.

“Shall we?”

You nodded and let him lead you to the kitchen, where you were met with a variety of delicious smells and a veritable feast.

“Oh, Lucia, you have outdone yourself again!”

“Just a little something to celebrate my son being back in court and doing what he does best,” she said with a grin.

“Mamí, I didn’t win today.”

“Rafael, that doesn’t matter,” you said, giving him a look. “You walked into that courtroom with your head held high and fought like hell for your client. Watching you, it was awe inspiring, it was brilliant, it was astounding. You have nothing to be ashamed of.” You stopped, realizing that both Rafael and Lucia were staring at you. “Maybe we should sit down and eat?”

“Yes, I think we should,” said Lucia, giving you a smirk and a knowing look.

Grace was said, dishes were passed, and between the conversation and shoveling forkfuls of food into your mouth, the time flew by. It had been so long since the last time the three of you had been together like this, but it felt like the years hadn’t passed at all. You had missed this, wanted it to be your normal again. Every time your eyes caught Rafael’s he would reach for your hand and give it a gentle squeeze, and you wondered if he felt the same way.

Before you and Rafael left, Rafael double-checked his mother’s flight information. She was flying out the next morning, and Rafael promised he’d be there bright and early to take her to the airport.

“Rafi, I am more than capable of getting myself to the airport.”      

“I know, Mamí, but I insist. I just want to make sure that you get there and don’t have any issues with checking in.”

“Fine, but don’t forget to bring in my mail every day and check the fridge occasionally. If something looks or smells like it’s going bad, throw it out.”

‘I will, Mamí, I promise.”

Lucia gave him a hug and kissed his cheek, then did the same to you. She made sure to hand you both large Tupperware containers with the all the leftovers.

“This is to make sure you don’t starve. And Hermosa, take care of my son? Make sure he eats something other than take-out?”

“I will, Lucia, I promise.”

**********************

You unlocked your apartment door, but before opening it, you turned to Rafael.

“You’re sure that you’re ready for this?”

“Yes, Cariño, I’m ready to meet your cat,” he reassured you for the umpteenth time.

“Okay…”

You opened the door and you and Rafael entered the apartment. You were promptly headbutted in the leg before you could even get your coat off.

“Mrow! Mrow! Mrow! Mrow!”

“Yes, baby, I’m sorry I went out and left you here all alone.” You picked up Inigo and cuddled him in your arms. “It’s okay, baby, Mommy’s home now.” You turned towards Rafael. “Rafael, this is Inigo. Inigo, this is Rafael.”

“Hi there, Inigo, it’s nice to finally meet you in person.”

Inigo looked at Rafael, then looked up at you incredulously.

“Mrow?”

“Inigo be nice…I have an idea! Rafael, his treats are in the corner cabinet, 1st shelf.” You pointed towards the kitchen. Rafael ran to your kitchen and came back with the cat treats. He shook a few into his hand and held them out to Inigo. The cat took a tentative sniff, and then gobbled down the treats, even licking the crumbs off Rafael’s fingers. “There, you happy now?” Inigo gave an affirmative “Mrow”, and you put him down.

“Sorry about that,” you said, standing back up and finally taking your coat off. “He can be a little grumpy around new people. Drink?”

“It’s okay, I get it,” said Rafael, removing his coat and suit jacket and draping them over a kitchen chair. “Yes, please, a drink would be great.”

You put your leftovers in the fridge and opened a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of Scotch and two glasses.  You expertly poured and handed a glass to Rafael. He thanked you, and you took the other glass and motioned towards the living room. “Shall we?” Rafael nodded and followed you to the couch. You both glanced at each other awkwardly, not sure how to begin.

“I guess I should start by apologizing again,” Rafael finally spoke, “and I am truly sorry, Cariño, for everything. I never should have left the way that I did. After the trial, I really believed it was all over. I saw my future and all of my hopes fading away. I couldn’t go back to the DA’s office, couldn’t face the scrutiny, couldn’t face you, couldn’t even face myself. So, I took the coward’s way out, and I ran. At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do. I convinced myself that I needed time and distance to figure things out, but I wasn’t thinking straight, I know that now. I felt like I was suffocating. Everything was falling apart, and I didn’t know how to fix it…”

“You could have come to me. We could have figured it out together…” You reached for his hand and held it between both of yours. “I never would have turned my back on you.”

“I know that, dear god, do I know that,” Rafael hung his head, tears starting to leak out of his eyes. “I thought I’d be sparing you so much unnecessary pain and humiliation. Knowing that I only caused you more…I’ll never forgive myself. I never should have pushed you away. I’ve spent every moment regretting it.” He turned his head and looked you right in the eye.” I never meant to hurt you; I swear I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know,” you said, feeling your own fresh round of tears coming on. “Come here.”

You wrapped your arms around him and held him close. He embraced you in return, placing his head on your shoulder. It was so rare for you to see him like this, opening up, letting his guard down, being vulnerable. He was hurting just as much as you were, longing for shelter, longing for an end to all the years of heartache. You gently cupped his face in your hands to that he was looking you in the eye again.

“I forgive you, Rafael, I forgive everything. Deep in my soul, I’ve been so lonely, and I don’t want to live like that anymore, and I don’t think you do either. Still here we are, both of us lonely. Let’s make it last, let’s find a way.”

“Are you saying- “

“Yes, I love you, Rafael, come back to me.”

Your lips found his. The kiss started out soft and gentle, but soon became deeper and more intense. You let go of his face and draped your arms around his neck. Rafael pulled you into his lap, one arm around your back, his other hand in your hair. You both desperately tried to communicate three years of pent up longing and desire without words. Nothing else mattered, just the two of you, in your apartment, and nothing was going to tear you apart again.

“I love you, Y/N,” said Rafael when you finally broke apart to catch your breaths.

“I love you, too, Rafael.”

“Look, I know it’s late, I know you’re weary, but I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to spend another night away from you.”

You kissed him again.

“Then don’t. We’ve got tonight, babe, why don’t you stay?”

[wickedgamesoyaoya]

HELLO!!! FANCY SEEING YOU HERE ALSKUXHCHC I WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST FLUFF, WITH BOKUTO, AND PROMPT #5 💚🧡💚🧡💜💜💜❤️❤️🤎🤎💚💕💚🖤🖤💜💜💖💘💓💕💕💗💗❤️❣️❣️

The corners of your mouth twitched into an uneasy smile as you processed the scene ahead of you. It was nearly identical to the image printed on the postcards you had purchased mere moments ago from the resort lobby. A fresh batch of snow gracefully blanketed over the slope, and the visitors, adorning their colourful snow tubes almost appeared to be sprinkles on the icy substance.

When you had originally allowed your fiancé to pick your vacation destination – you knew it would involve some adventure, but you did not expect that he would bring you to a winter wonderland.

“Babe, I need your hand.” Bokuto fiddled with your glove, as his bright irises twinkled in concern. “You’re gonna get a frostbite.” Once you absentmindedly provided him access to your hand, he slipped the glove into place before stepping back, and confirming that you had adequate protection from the dropping temperature.

“Kou, I’m warm! Don’t worry.” Despite your internal alarm with the scheduled activity, you had vowed to make the most of the day. And so, you would conquer your fear – or at least try to conquer it.  

After one more scan of your body, the volleyball player was satisfied. Since the procedural aspects were now complete, his attention landed on the staircase leading to the smallest slope on the resort. The other three slopes were only accessible if one rode the gondola lift, but Bokuto knew you were not ready for those just yet.

“Alright! Let’s do this.” The declaration had brought a dazzling grin to his mouth – one that you found to be incredibly contagious. With a faint smile tracing along your features, you proceeded forward, taking his right arm into your grasp.

“Yeah, let’s do it.”

After selecting your snow tubes, you made your way to the top of the first slope. Upon reaching your destination, your breath caught inside of your throat. The emotions sprawling within your chest could easily be labeled as beginner’s nerves – yet the label did not help calm the danger sirens you were trying to silence.

“Hmm, babe? You okay?” There was no disguising the second wave of anxiety that washed over you. Tilting his head with his brows furrowed, Bokuto reached out to brush aside the few strands sticking against your cheek.

“Kou… What if one of us gets injured? Did you see that guy? He fell off and landed face first!” Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip as you pressed yourself closer to him.

“Huh? Oh, that guy? Didn’t you see he was laughing about it? I think he’s fine.” For a brief moment his attention flickered to the group of friends below, no one appeared to be harmed. Rather, it seemed that he jumped off the snow tube earlier on purpose. That being said, if you were feeling uneasy it was his job to comfort you. Puckering out his lips in thought, he searched the surroundings for a solution.

“Kou, if I die. I love you, you know that, right?” The dramatic response was stated in a whisper as you continued to watch the other tourists who embraced the thrill associated with the activity.

Exhaling a breath to dismantle the pout on his mouth, he planted a kiss to the tip of your nose then shook his head. “I love you, y/n. But you’re not going to die. Not as long as you have me to protect you!” Striving to reassure you, he presented a toothy smile, one that melted some of the anxiety wrapping around your heart. “Plus, I have a plan.”

“A plan?” Echoing the words back, curiosity brought your eyelids to narrow.

“Uh huh.” The grin remained plastered against his features as he approached the employee responsible for instructing the tobogganers. “Hey hey! I have a question. What kinda positions are allowed for couples who wanna share a snow tube?”

“Koutarou!” His name was choked out in embarrassment, and the group of teenagers behind you giggled in amusement.

But the resort employee remained unbothered, lifting his shoulders into a shrug. “What kinda position do you want to do?”

“Can she straddle me?” The pure edge to his voice did not match the content of his question. By now, you were masking your bewildered expression with your glove.

“Uh. That probably wouldn’t work. But she can sit on your lap, and wrap her arms around you or something. Your tube is large enough for that.” The disinterest clear in his tone made you wonder exactly what was asked in the past to make this person so…dead. But maybe that was a question better left unanswered.

“Oh yeah? Did you hear that, y/n?” Bokuto was practically bouncing on the spot. Snow tubing had now gotten more exciting for the male. He loved being close to you, and now he could package that with snow-tubing? He could not be happier.

You on the other hand? Well, you provided him a weak wave to indicate your “approval”.

“Yes. I heard it all.”

Once it was your turn, Bokuto placed the tube onto the snow then took a seat inside. After the employee directed him to place his hands on each handle, he instructed you on where to sit and how to hold onto your fiancé. While it was certainly embarrassing with everyone watching, this arrangement was one you were happy to accept. Even if straddling was allowed, there was no way in hell you would do that in front of an audience. But sharing a snow tube with your significant other wasn’t a big deal, a detail you realized after witnessing multiple other couples do so.

“You both ready?” The attendant sighed out. With Bokuto’s enthusiastic “hell yeah” and the muffled yes falling from your lips, he pushed your tube forward and towards your awaiting death.

Just kidding.

With your face finding refuge against the crook of his neck, the journey down was short and painless. Once the tube halted, you peeled away from Bokuto and let out a little “huh.”

“Not that bad, right?” Before you had a chance to respond and lift yourself up, he adjusted your hat, making sure your ears remained covered.

“Wait. I wanna do it again.” Remaining seated on him, you shifted your stare to the hill that no longer contained a threatening aura.

“Alone?” He tilted his head, attempting to recapture your attention.

“Yes.” The determination animating your y/e/c irises was equally adorable and fascinating, drawing out a chuckle from the male.

“That’s my girl!”

After conquering your fear with the smaller slope, you felt much more confident when approaching the larger ones. Bokuto, who remained attentive to your needs and concerns, would insist on accompanying on the journey down until you became comfortable enough to go on your own. When it was finally time to visit the final slope of the resort, you were much calmer and rather excited for the experience that awaited you.

“Kou, I’m gonna grab my own tube for this one. I think I can do it alone.” Proceeding a step back, you reached on your toes to catch a visual of the tube you abandoned near the cable transport.

“You sure?” Pausing, he surveyed your stance for any indication of hesitation.

“Yeah! Just go down without me.” It was quite clear he did not enjoy the idea of leaving you alone, but you reassured him with a wiggle of your fingers. “I’ll only be a little behind you, I promise!” That seemed to be enough to satisfy him.

Once you retrieved the snow tube, you hoisted it up with a confident smile. As you began to walk back towards the attendant’s post, however, the conversation of an unknown group of men forced you to stop in your tracks.

“I can’t believe our luck. Running into the MSBY Black Jackal’s Ace?”

“I can’t believe his shit luck. Hanamiya’s really going to puncture his tube.”

“Guess he really does live for the fun of “crushing” people.”

Rage boiled inside of your veins, lacing together with pure panic. Bokuto was already halfway down the slope, and you presumed the one lined up next was the one named “Hanamiya.” Thrusting your weight forward to fight against the weight of the snow, you tried to make it to the attendant in time. Unfortunately, it was a little too late.

“Shit. Shit shit.” Lowering the tube to the ground, you waited until you saw the volleyball player reach the bottom safely. But the issue was that this meant that the stranger after your fiancé was already halfway to his goal. “Okay. Screw it. I’m sorry!”

Instead of waiting for the resort employee’s approval, you jumped onto the tube then nudged yourself forward. Due to your improper position, your tube almost tipped over numerous times. Yet, you somehow managed to reach the bottom without completely being thrown off. You were seconds from completing your journey when you saw the dark-haired male slyly approach Bokuto. Without a second thought, you launched yourself off from the tube, transferring your weight onto the stranger.

Surprise coloured his features at your sudden attack and emergence. But you did not waste a second, quick to press your covered palm against his face.

“You stay the hell away from my fiancé.”

“Y/n!” Soon Bokuto’s arms were hooked around you, dragging you off and away from Hanamiya. “What happened?”

“Wow. Attacking a stranger. I wonder if I could sue you for this.” Raising himself from the ground, he patted off the snow stuck against his jacket. An emotionless smile hung from his mouth, only increasing your irritation.

“I heard your friends, you little shit. Don’t think for a second I’ll let you hurt him.” Standing protectively in front of your fiancé, you placed your hands on either side of you. Behind you Bokuto struggled to comprehend what was occurring, in a puzzled state his eyes travelled from you to the stranger ahead.  

“And here I thought you were only a damsel in distress.” Clicking his tongue, amusement curved Hanamiya’s eyebrows.

The statement did not register well with Bokuto who fell into a scowl. “What the hell are you talking about? She could totally kick your ass and mine.”

“Kou, I would never do that to you.” Reaching out, you poked his nose with the tip of your glove before turning your focus back to your newfound adversary.  “But you, wouldn’t it be unfortunate if that pin you’ve been holding ends up stabbing you instead.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Casting his glare aside, he shoved his hands into his pockets. A few meters away were his friends from earlier, they seemed to be watching the scene from a “safe” distance. “Whatever, this isn’t fun.” After administering a final glare, Hanamiya shifted his back to you and then went to join his friends. 

“Asshole.” The curse fell from your lips as you fought the urge to launch another attack on him.

“That was really dangerous, y/n.” Bokuto stepped aside, forcing your gaze to return to him. A childish pout was on full display to demonstrate his emotional state.

“What?”

“Jumping off the tube! You could have gotten hurt.” His pout only increased now, it was clear that he was unphased by the potential threat that was posed to his safety. It was you he was worried about. 

“Oh yeah. But it was kinda fun.” Recalling the thrill of the event, a titter crawled up your throat.

“She’s a monster! My fiancée has turned into a monster.” Low laughter rumbled from his chest as he slipped his arms around you, drawing you into his embrace.

“Well it’s only fitting that I’m engaged to a member of the monster generation then.”  Rolling your eyes, you contently accepted the warmth offered by your fiancé.

A/N: 1) My shooting star! I am sorry this took 500 years, I was trying to write this properly! I hope this was okay ;-; 2) I realized too late that snow tubing may be something most people don’t know so here is a reference photo lol 

General Taglist:  @newfriendjen @lvoejimin @moonlightaangel @gyozaaaaa @byun-nies @thevillagehiddenintheinternet @amberalisa @graykageyama @yourstarvic @chaichai-the-weeb @chibishae34 @haikyuusimp91 @volleybloop  @rajablast @idiot-juice-enthusiast @melonmayhere @cuddlesslut  @athenarosaline @memes-and-money @coconut-dreamz  @mismatched-loves @elianetsantana @tsumume @tsukkismamagucci @the-golden-jhope @camcam1617 @ivsahi @prettyforpapiiwa @swoonhui @neobakas @azumane-kun @elephantloser @dreamstormings @rintarawr @anejuuuuoy   @thatthangwasthangin

Bolded means I can’t tag ya ~