#(for all of you that may be confused that is a direct quote from the show save for the cuss. spranne is not a ship)

[selfdiagnosedeyemotif]

ive recently been contemplating just how much of an impact amphibia has had on me as a writer because like... wow. it really did. like, you can trace stuff like preference for writing small dialogue scenes to episodes like Wally and Anne, and both Reunion and True Colours have become my roadmap for writing combat and tension. AND its also the originator of the themes of change that have been popping up all over my writing as of late. like, think about it. project OCtopath has been laden with stories about change thus far (aestia's character arc-forward story, tyrri's crusade of progress, and praem's denial of fate), and believe you me when i say that isn't gonna change any time soon. or ever. AND THEN, forget-me-not (so sorry about not doing anything with that as of late, i prommy that the prologue is in the works) is ALSO shaping up to be about the impact of the protags on each other AND mirror's amphibia's finale with its own (nothing is forever. teehee). like WOW. thank you so much, frog show. you've permanently shifted the way my brain works

[luckykiwiii101]

Feeling…? What’s that? (REVAMPED!!!)

XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP GIRL | XOXO | GOSSIP

Hey Upper East Siders.

If you didn’t know already, the Key to manifestation is “Feeling”. As Neville Goddard said, “Feeling Is The Secret.”

But what exactly is that “Feeling”

I’ve once been those “vague” bloggers that blatantly tell you “It’s just knowing you have your desire.” Which is true, but i’ve noticed that created some confusion here.

Yes, that “Feeling” is KNOWING that you have your desire in imagination and that it is DONE.

But when people are manifesting, they keep trying to force the feeling of knowing that they have their desire. That is NOT the way it should be!

The knowing feeling will always be there once you’ve accepted it, even though you may not be able to exactly pinpoint what the feeling is. Don’t understand?

Well, for example, think of a fact about yourself. For me, I know that i’ve got black hair. I may not have a specific “knowing” feeling. I just know I have it. I just focus on whatever feeling that comes to me when I think of the FACT that i’ve got black hair. THAT’S the feeling of knowing (AKA feeling of the wish fulfilled). I am never forcing myself to feel the knowing feeling of having black hair. It just naturally arouses within me because i’ve already accepted it as a fact.

People confuse themselves when they feel like they’re doing it wrong because they think they can’t feel the “knowing” feeling. The knowing feeling is just whatever feeling you get when you imagine having your desire and truly accept and acknowledge that you have it in imagination.

The feeling NATURALLY comes to you. You should NEVER be forcing it.

Here is a quote from a post I saved a while ago:

“If you repeat in accepting that you're wealthy, either with affirmations or with scenes, the feeling of being rich will naturally arouse within you. don't force that feeling, simply allow it. if you're conscious of being rich, then the feeling will naturally arouse. you're NOT forcing yourself to feel rich. you're consciously directing your awareness to be conscious of being rich, and the feeling follows.

Bask yourself in it. lose yourself in it. remember, you're not forcing anything, you abandon yourself to it. lose yourself to the point where you forget you're imagining. being rich is the only reality that exists at that moment.

Do this until you no longer feel the need to do it. you'll know it when you feel like it's done and you don't need to do it anymore.”

“From this acceptance, you’ll feel this feeling(not emotion). and this feeling will generate scenes and affirmations that are perfect for you!!!! play with those scenes and affirmations or whatever comes to you naturally. bask yourself in this feeling!!! lose yourself!!!! have fun!!! from this on, all you have to do is persist not to get things in the 3d, but to make this state your habitual & autopilot state.”

“To be CONSCIOUS of being rich is to FEEL yourself to be rich. Focus first on being conscious of being rich then the feeling will follow. Focus on the state. Focus on being CONSCIOUS of being it.”

- aphroditeapprentice

“All you have to do is FEEL it as a present FACT in IMAGINATION.”

KEY QUOTES:

✰ “Do not force that feeling, simply allow it.”

✰ “then the feeling will naturally arouse.”

✰ “you’re NOT forcing yourself.”

SUMMARY

All you have to do is, imagine whatever you want to imagine using any of your 5 senses, then focus on the FEELING that the imaginal act arouses within you. And hold that feeling for as long as you want. Then go about your day. And do this EVERY.SINGLE.TIME you think of your desire.

Only seek proof in IMAGINATION.

HOW TO ACTUALLY FEEL FULFILLED.

Love all of you beauties, XOXO

- gossip girl

[voidpumpkin]

A Guide For New Users Fleeing From Twitter, From A User Who Needed One When They First Started:

Hi to everyone fleeing from twitter, Elon Musk is shit and he already has had an actively harmful effect on the site, one that will only get worse. So, welcome to Tumblr, it can be kind of intimidating, given its reputation and how many different features there are, I was certainly confused and intimidated when I first logged on and as I'm active on both I sympathise with y’all, so here’s a guide to anyone new:

Put your hashtags in the hashtag section. This is the only way they’ll actually have any sort of effect, or appear when you search for something. Don’t post them on the post itself.

There is a character limit for hashtags and a quite high hashtag limit. Go wild. Writing entire speeches is common. 

Don’t tag lots of unrelated stuff to your posts, that’ll get you reported for Spam and just hated in general

Don’t censor words, users are fine with swearing, doing so especially with triggering content makes it hard for people to limit their exposure to said triggering content.

There’s no such thing as ratioing.

We don’t have quote retweeting, every reblog, comment, etc counts to op’s post. They can see it all, and will be notified depending on their notification settings.

Change your icon, people will think you’re a bot if you use the default.

Give yourself a bio, it’ll make you look like a person.

Follow people and tags, that’s the only way you’re gonna see the content you wanna see. The foryoupage isn’t to be trusted.

Actually reblog stuff, liking has no effect, reblogging is the only important thing here as there is no like based algorithm. Doing so will also make you appear human.

You can hide your likes and who you’re following. Doing so is not frowned upon in the slightest.

You can block tags, similarly to muting words on twitter.

You can have multiple blogs tied to one account. 

You can customise your blog, go wild.

There is no word limit, you can write as you want. But if it gets too long make use of the keep reading feature, (the three dots beside the add gif feature)

There is an image limit of thirty, up from the former ten, though for some they may be stuck at only using ten, tumblr is kinda inconsistent. If you want to add more you’ll have to reblog your own post. 

There is no reblogging limit when it comes to a post, though there is a daily posting limit, go wild, only your followers will be upset.

You can have videos, gifs and pictures in the same post.

You can just post audio.

Adult content is still banned, but actual moderation and enforcement is spotty, especially if it’s written. 

Spam liking and reblogging isn’t a thing. Go wild.

You have an ask box that people can submit stuff to. You can respond or just delete the post. You can remove anon capability from it (which will get rid of most of the hate), or outright bar it.

You can’t private your account but you can restrict commenting and reblogging. Edit: I’ve been informed that you can in fact make your blog password protected, it’s just that it’s a rarely done thing and not widely known.

Block whoever and whenever, it’s not a big deal. Though if someone you’ve blocked has reblogged and added to a post and someone you follow reblogs that, their commentary will still be included in the post you see.

We don’t have muting, only blocking.

Yes, direct messaging is a thing (it’s the little smiley face)

The only way to promote your is through ‘tumblr blaze’, you pay a certain amount of money and your post will be promoted, but not targeted, so no invasions of privacy. You are subject to the employee’s whims on whether or not it gets promoted and unfortunately hate speech has been allowed.

Tumblr has tendency to hide/consume comments, posts and asks, don’t be surprised if they go missing.

Tumblr searching a blog relies on tags, words in the post and the users name, keep that in mind.

Posts will remain after you delete your account or the original post if they have been reblogged.

Years old posts are still circulating and that is considered normal.

You can queue up posts to be released when you’re not using your account. Or you can just post whenever you’re active. Go wild.

Wizards exist and are very popular on this site. Accept it.

There are posts with no notes that will never gain any more than a sing note for your like. Accept it.

There are posts will no op. Accept it.

Trans and autistic people dominate this site.

Don’t get pissy when someone tags a post ‘tw (insert slur)’, or any trigger warning for that matter, most are just being considerate of their followers who may be triggered by such content.

Twitter discourse is regularly mocked, it’s not gonna fly here.

No, we don’t call each other oomfs, or anything like that. We just have mutuals.

Tumblr in general lacks a lot colloquialisms that began on twitter.

We do have ‘blorbo’ ‘poor little meow meow’ etc.

Trying to go viral or trying to corporate is frowned upon.

Tumblr has a tendency to blacklist things tagged like ‘crowdfunding’ so bring that kind of logic you use for twitter posts over to tumblr.

We don’t have twitter circles, co-posting, etc.

Tumblr is surprisingly good at recommending blogs.

There are no verified accounts, and your follower count isn't visible. This is a good thing, trying to change it will get you laughed at.

People are going to just make up stuff, don’t believe everything you see and if it’s a claim about someone, investigate it rather than just believe it.

You can edit your posts after you’ve posted them, but the versions reblogged before said changes will still circulate. This editing of the original has been used as a spruce of comedy

If your worried about people seeing your potentially triggering, or even graphic content and they haven’t blocked the tags you’ve used you can use the keeping reading feature to put the content under the cut and post a warning at the top.

And this is quite important:

Stay anonymous and have fun. There isn’t an expectation to constantly expose inner details of your life, you aren’t expected to use your real face, your real name, age, etc. You’re not even expected to be truthful here. Exist however you wanna exist and have fun, that should be the point of social media. 

Also keep in mind that tumblr has its own distinct culture that is going to take some getting used to. As well as a history any user who’s been here a while will at least somewhat understand.

Also I'll be editing the post with additional info and corrections provided to me.

[miicycle]

The Kung Fu Panda Movies have always had Mr. Ping give the moral of the story, and I think about that a lot. Yes, Po is usually out fighting bad guys when realizing where he should be mentally and skillfully, on his own when he gets the point of teachings. Ping is such an important person in Po's life, just as much as Shifu is needed to help Po learn Kung Fu.

Way more under the cut!!!

Kung Fu Panda 1: "You are almost ready to be entrusted with the secret ingredient of my secret ingredient soup. And then you will fulfill your destiny and take over the restaurant [...]" - Ping

"Secret Ingredient of my secret ingredient soup" being an allegory for Dragon scroll and "destiny" being Po becoming the Dragon warrior and "take over the restaurant" as being Oogway's successor.

Then it turns out the scroll is blank. And Ping feels its a good place to tell Po about the secret ingredient. NOTHING. For something to be special, you just have to BELIEVE it's special.

So Po, not needing any secret scroll or any cool powerup, wins against Tai Lung by believeing in himself.

Ping made him believe in himself. And when Po fulfills his destiny of defeating Tai Lung, he's PROUD!

Kung Fu Panda 2: "Po, your life may not have such a happy beginning, but look at how it turned out! You got me, you got kung fu! And you got noodles!" - Ping (and almsot identical quote said by Soothsayer)

And

Po: "I gotta go. I'm the Dragon Warrior, it's kinda my job to save Kung Fu. And if I don't, what am I?"

Ping: "You're my son! ... Right?"

The message is pretty clearcut, but it's repeated very heavily in the movie. Mr Ping may not be his father, but he is his dad. No matter where he came from, Po is Mr Pings son through and through and he very much loves him.

The scene where Po has been knocked into a river and saved by the Soothsayer, she says the same thing that Ping does. He didn't have a happy beginning, but what matters is who he is, and what he chooses to do now.

And the montage plays everything hes done up until now, but also empathizes the moments between Ping and Po. The last thing he sees in his mind is Ping being a dad, because he is Po's dad! Whatever happened before doesn't have bearing for who Po chooses to be. So when he chooses to be the son of a goose and the Dragon Warrior, nothing he finds out can change that.

Because Dragon Warrior or not, Po is Ping's son! Right?

Kung Fu Panda 3: "He's hurt. He's confused. And he still has to save the World! He needs both his dads." - Ping

"I realized that having you in his life doesn't mean less for me. It means more for Po." - Ping

And

"I'm not trying to turn you into me. I'm trying to turn you into you!" - Shifu

(Love how often Shifu and Ping mirror each other's roles btw they're both so important)

So these are a little less on the nose, but again super important. No matter what Po is going through, he still has to fulfill his destiny, and giving him support while he does so is the best they can do. Ping was initially worried of Li Shan stealing Po away, but realizes that bonding with his biological father doesn't take him away from Ping, just more love and support for Po.

But also, Po learning that he doesn't have to change drastically to reach his true potential. When Ping and Li Shan stand on the small platform and tell Po that they can help, along with all other pandas, Po has the realization that he can't turn them into him, just as Shifu can't turn him into Shifu, or Li Shan can't turn him into a typical panda.

Ping doesn't say a direct quote to mirror Shifu's, but he did initiate talking to Li Shan after Po and Li Shan had the liar reveal. Li never had the experience of having an arguement with his child, but Ping obviously does. So he takes it upon himself to keep being the rock that Po can lean on by talking to Li Shan and helping him realize that they have to be there for Po, no matter what happens.

Because again. Po is hurt. Po is confused. But he still has to save the world. He needs both his dads.

I love Ping so much for being a good dad in this way. He really plays well as a support character and is such a good parent. Yeah, Po may not fit the mold the way Ping expected (taking over the noodle shop etc) but hes still so proud!!!

[pocket-jack]

Love Mail

Luffy climbing up to Victoria Punk: Love mail!

Killer playing along: Love mail? Oh! It must be a letter for you, Kid!

Kid: You're two are a dorks. The hell is love mail?

Luffy: It's a news report. Did you know that the sunflowers on the whole island are looking at the same direction? They're looking at you, sunshine! Get it? Because sunflowers are always facing the sun, and when there isn't any, they're facing each other. I guess they confused you with the sun, Juggy!

Kid, all red: "Drops his instrument kit" Ahhh... What a bullshit...

Killer: Aww, that's sweet

Kid: Shut up...

Luffy: I'll go spread the Love Mail to Traffy! Enjoy your day!

Kid: Mggghghhh....

Killer: I'll translate that: you too, Straw Hat!

Luffy, climbing in the Polar Tang: Love Mail!

Shachi: AAAH! Straw Hat! You scared me! Don't sneak up on us so suddenly! And what the hell is a Love Mail?

Luffy: Can't tell you! It's for Traffy!

Shachi: Ah-... Ooooh! I get it! Ooooooi! Captain! There's a letter for you!!

Law coming from the operating room cleaning his instruments: A letter? From who?

Luffy: From me :))

Law: "Smiling warmly" What is it?

Luffy: A love mail! S' a fact actually!

Law: A fact? A fun one?

Luffy: A really fun one! Did you know that I have a disease?

Law: Wha-? A disease? What is it? Why didn't you tell me? You know that your and Kids health are important to me! What are the symptoms?

Luffy: I know how it's called and I've had it for a while know... And the symptoms are... "Pressed his hand to his chest" Whenever I'm around Traffy my heart keeps beating faster and I may die if I stop looking at him! You know how it's called?

Law completely oblivious: I... Such a strange and vague symptoms... Are you sure there's nothing else? It can't be that I don't know it!..

Luffy: Te-he! The disease that I have is called... 'Traffy is so attractive that I can't look away from him"!

Law: ...

Law: "Turns red, but also sighs in relief" Oh... Oh! Straw Hat-ya, don't scare me like that! I thought you had something serious!

Luffy: It is serious! There is also a newpaper in the love mail! It's states that Trafalgar Law is the handsomest doctor in the world! And do you know who wrote the report? The future Pirate King Monkey D. Luffy! Can you imagine!?

Law: "Flatters" Aw! Stop! I need to work! Did you send the love mail to Eustass too?

Luffy: Of course! I'm the best love mail man in the world!

Luffy: "Leaves" Byee! Hope the love letter made your day!

Law: It sure did...

Shachi: Awww! Captain is smiling! This is the best day of my life!

Law: Shachi, I will split you in half.

Shachi: Got it! I'll shut up!

Robin: Hello, Luffy! How was your love mail plan?

Luffy: It's good! Traffy and jaggy were so red and happy when I told them about it! Thank you for helping with the quotes! And thanks to you too, Sanji!

Sanji: Repay me with stopping trying to break into the refrigerator. I know you tried to bite off the code lock

Luffy: But I'm hungry at night! How can I eat if the refrigerator looked?

Robin: "Spots Kid, climbing onto the ship" Oh, hello Kid

Luffy: Jaggy! Do you need something?

Kid: Yeah, just wanted to pass you the mail

Luffy: The mail?

Kid: Yes. It's the trinket. I know, you love them

Luffy: Wha- For me???

Kid: Yep! I can't do quotes, but I'd do anything to see you happy

Luffy: "Processing" ...

Luffy: "Covers his red face with a hat" Nishishishi! Thank you!..

Kid: "Rises Luffy's chin with his hand to see his red face" No prob! That's what the Love Mail means, right?

Luffy: "Got shy" Ahh!.. Y-yeah!...

Robin and Sanji: Aaawww

Law: "Teleports to them with a box" Hey

Luffy: Traffy? Why are you here?

Law: Don't act like I can't see my partner whenever I want. About the Love Mail thing

Luffy: Oh? "Hides his eyes with a hat" You too???..

Kid: I was first! Did he get you too?

Law: I just want to talk about his... 'Disease'. Not compete for his attention with you, Eustass

Luffy: What do you wanna talk about?

Law: Your diagnosis. First time I thought I don't know anything about it, but know that you named a disease, I think that I know exactly what too prescribe you

Luffy: Wha?..

Law: "Gives him a box" It may ease the symptoms a little bit. But the kisses and hugs will do the trick as well

Luffy: "Opens it" What's inside? A medicine?

Law: The best that I have

Luffy sees the inside full of chocolate that he loves: Oh!?.. OOOOH?????

Kid: Don't tell me he won! What about my trinket to you? It can be used as a fidget toy, puzzle, even self defens-.. Agh... Forget it. You already ate the chocolate... I'm glad you happy, monkey

Luffy: It was SO delicious! It had my favorite flavor and all! Oh!.. Wait... Was I suppose... To eat all of it in one go.

Law: You can eat as much as you want. That's kind of the thing. You can't get overdose. Truly a beautiful medicine for a beautiful patient

Luffy: Eh... Stop... That's not...

Kid: It is! You're beautiful! The prettiest out of the world! And also you, hot doc

Law: Hot doc? Did you receive the news as well?

Kid: I've figured you'd be! And you too! So adorable when you shy "Smooches Luffy"

Luffy: ..aaw.. "Covers his whole face with hat"

Kid and Law got K.O-ed momentetaly: Oh-...

Kid and Law proceeds to hug and kiss completely shy Luffy: Love Mail - the best thing in the world!

Straw Hats: AWWWWWW

[likeadevils]

Reputation Timeline

This is a very long post that puts all the songs on Reputation in order of Taylor creating them. I’ve also included a few other songs she worked on while writing rep and quotes from Taylor and her collaborators talking about her process.

If you don't want to read all that, check out this playlist of the album in order or this playlist of her entire discography.

I’ve also added this color coded scale of how sure I am of the date: 

Confirmed: There is some type of official source for the date

Inferring: Nobody has officially said “This is when we wrote it,” but all available evidence points to that date

Speculation: This date is based off pure vibes and guesswork and is highly likely to change.

Unknown: All that is known is the year (from the US Copyright Offices

February 13, 2015: Taylor's interview with Vogue is published (likely conducted on January 14/15).

"I don’t worry that I haven’t started the next record yet. I don’t worry that I don’t know what it’s going to be. I’m not worried that I have absolutely no timetable as to when it needs to be done. It could be two years from now; it could be three, it could be four. Or it could be one. You get these bursts of inspiration right at the moment you’re not expecting to. You just have to live your life, and hopefully you’ll take the right risks."

March 2, 2015: Taylor is photographed leaving a studio. (Note: I can not find a place that specifies if this is a recording studio, dance, photography, radio, or television studio).

May 20, 2015: Taylor's interview with Marie Claire is published (likely conducted two months beforehand).

Taylor is not even sure she'll have made another album by the time 2020 rolls around. "I'm not going to put out an album until I've made one that's better than this one and that's going to be really hard," she says. And how might her music evolve if she does find love? "If that does happen, I think I could find complexity in happiness," she says. "I don't think anything's ever simple. Just because you're happy in a relationship doesn't mean there aren't moments of confusion or frustration or loneliness or sadness. Hopefully, if I ever find some sort of meaningful relationship, I'll be able to still find inspiration, just through everyday ups and downs."

October 7, 2015: Taylor is photographed leaving a recording studio in New York.

November 13, 2015: Taylor's interview with Vogue Australia is published (likely conducted two months beforehand).

Every two years since 2006 she has released an album, followed by a tour, then moved onto the next one. But her latest album, 1989, might change plans a bit. “This album has produced more number ones than any album in the past, so we’re just going to go with it,” she says, going on to explain how the usual album cycle could be extended. “Then I’ll feel like I’ll need to give people a breather from me because at a certain point they’re going to get a little sick of hearing about me, so I’ll need to go away for a while then, depending on my gauge on how sick of me they are, I’ll decide when to put out the next album.” [...]  “I’ve been learning every single day what the right amount of sharing [of her personal life] is, and lately it’s been not natural because this album is such a snapshot of my life – it was so vivid, direct and honest.”

April 20, 2016: Taylor interview with Vogue is published (conducted in February).

So what the hell are you going to do with the rest of your life, Taylor Swift? “I have no idea,” she says, with a sigh that’s more blissful than anxious. “This is the first time in ten years that I haven’t known. I just decided that after the past year, with all of the unbelievable things that happened . . . I decided I was going to live my life a little bit without the pressure on myself to create something.” Do not freak: Swift is not abandoning making music. Those who know her know this is chemically impossible. (“Her not being creative is one of the last things I’d ever worry about,” the musician and producer Jack Antonoff tells me later.) “I’m always going to be writing songs,” Swift says. “The thing is, with me, I could very well come up with three things in the next two weeks and then jump back into the studio, and all of a sudden the next record is started. That’s an option, too.” But probably not for the moment.

August 29, 2016: Taylor writes in her diary "This summer is the apocalypse."

Gorgeous: Sep. 1-5, 16, 17, 19 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, Taylor is seen wearing this outfit in her Nashville apartment, which dates the song to September 17. From there, the rest of the dates are just math. 

King of My Heart: Sep. 6, 19, 20, 21 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, Taylor is seen wearing the same outfit in the Gorgeous video and the KOMH video. It's also the same outfit as a video she later posted to The Swift Life (RIP) where she talked about how excited she was to be working after a long break.

September 9, 2016: Gigi Hadid says "You know, [Taylor] is starting to go back to work in the studio again."

I Don't Wanna Live Forever: Early Oct. (Speculation)

In a teaser for the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen in an unfamiliar outfit (black mesh top) with bleached hair and a thin gold choker that she was fond of in October 2016. She is not wearing her silver J pendant, which she got as a 27th birthday present (Dec 13, 2016). IDWLF is the only song with no video footage that was written in 2016. I don't recognize the studio in the clip, but she recorded IDWLF with Jack Antonoff, who is based in New York. Taylor was on the east coast until October 22nd, and was seen in New York between October 11-13.

Delicate: Oct. 24-26 (Speculation)

Taylor is seen wearing the aforementioned thin gold choker,  with her post Sep. 24 haircut (straight across bangs instead of a side part). Since she normally goes into the studio with Max Martin and Shellback with a few ideas, and creates multiple songs during their sessions, I'm inclined to group this song with IDSB and place it in late October.

I Did Something Bad: Oct. 14, 27 (Confirmed)

In the Making of a Song video, at 4:18 you can spot a gold temporary tattoo on the inside of her wrist, similar to ones she was wore at Drake’s Birthday Party on October 23. Since she is seen working until sundown (She leaves LA on October 28) and had to be in Nashville 13 days priar (She was seen in New York City until the 13), October 14 and 27th are the only dates that make sense. 

January 3, 2017: Taylor writes in her diary "I get all scared about the future because so much has changed in the last year of my life. I mean this time last year I was living in LA, getting ready for Grammys and now, I’m essentially based in London, hiding out trying to protect us from the nasty world that just wants to ruin things. We have been together and no one has found out for 3 months now. I want it to stay that way because I don’t want anything about this to change or become too complicated or intruded upon. But it’s senseless to worry about someday not being happy when I am happy now. Ok. Breathe."

Don't Blame Me: Jan. 10, 11, 12 (Inferring)

Taylor is seen wearing a similar jacket as she was papped wearing on the 11th in the Making of a Song video. (This is pure speculation on my part, but the mood also seems to be a bit lower than on other days). We know she was in LA around this time “for work.”

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: Jan. 11 (Confirmed)

This post explains the situation pretty well. There are multiple accounts of what seems to be a similar story. January 11th one of two times she is seen leaving the gym after a long paparazzi dry spell, the other being in July. Seeing as the song is produced by Max Martin, who is located in LA, and the July pictures are in New York, I’m inclined to agree with the original source.

Dress: Late January/Early February 2017 (Speculation)

Jack Antonoff: “Dress is my second favorite [from Reputation]. It's the first one we made for it." Taylor was mostly based in London in early 2017, but there’s two times we know she was in the states. The first is in early January, when Taylor was in California working with Max Martin and Shellback. The second time is in late January/early February, when she was in Nashville preparing for Super Saturday Night. My guess is this was written in Late January, mostly because she was on the east coast, but theoretically she could've done it earlier in the month, or even later in the year.

Look What You Made Me Do: Late January/Early February 2017 (Speculation)

In promos for the Making of a Song Video, as well as in Miss Americana, Taylor is seen with straight hair and her J initial necklace (dating the song to post-Dec 13, 2016). Her hairstyle (the deep side part) is very Mid-2016. For most of 2017, she seems to favor the straight across braids with strands on the side. Long story short (ha), the hair makes me what to put this as early in the timeline as possible. We know Taylor was on the east coast (specifically Nashville) in early February, preparing for Super Saturday Night.

New Years Day: 2017 (Unknown)

There isn’t any footage of this, but Jack Antonoff has said that it came together fairly quickly and unexpectedly while they were hanging out at his house. 

...Ready For It?: May 2017 (Speculation)

In promos for the Making of a Song series, as well as Miss Americana, Taylor is seen with curly hair, her J necklace, and not her Sapphire Evil Eye Ring, which starts showing up on June 27th (We don’t know exactly when or why she got the sapphire ring). . Since the song partially focuses on whether or not her lover is ready for the media frenzy that surrounds dating her, I’m inclined to place this song in May, when her and Joe’s relationship leaked to the press. The song was recorded in Sweden, and we can assume she was in Europe between May 15 and June 1, 2017. (That being said, we can assume she is in Europe for most of the first half of 2017). 

Call It What You Want: June 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with straight hair, her J necklace, and not her sapphire evil eye ring. Once again, I am tempted to put this after her relationship leaked to the press, probably in early June (She is in the states on the 1st and 3rd, and probably leaves sometime in mid-June).

End Game: Mid July (Confirmed)

Ed Sheeran has said that the song was written around July 14th, while he was playing in Connecticut and Taylor was in Rhode island. Ed: End Game was written - I was playing Mohegan Sun in Connecticut, and she has a place in Rhode Island, which isn't too far. So she hits me up like, 'I know you're in Connecticut, come around.' I go around, she plays me some of what turned out to be reputation, and plays me this End Game, and I was like 'Man, I really like this. Can I do a verse? Can I do a rap verse?' And she was like, 'Yeah, for sure!' So the next day, I remember, I was in bed, and woke up and got my laptop out, put the song, just looped it, wrote this verse, and I went in with Max Martin, who she did the song with, and recorded it. Then Future did a verse, and then Taylor wrote a verse and we did the video.

Getaway Car: July 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with curly hair, her J necklace, and her sapphire evil eye ring, placing the song sometime shortly before/after June 27th. We know she was in the states for most of July, and in New York City on the 17th and 24th.

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: July 2017 (Speculation)

In the Making of a Song series, Taylor is seen with straight hair, her J necklace, and her sapphire evil eye ring. For all the same reasons as Getaway Car, this song was probably recorded in July. The exact order of Getaway Car and TIWWCHNT is probably impossible for anyone not involved in the making of the song to know. I could see arguments for either order, but Taylor has said that reputation is in fairly chronological order, I’m putting it in order of tracklist.

So It Goes: September 2017 (Inferring)

Oscar Görres, a cowritter on the song, said he got a call from Max Martin, Shellback, and Taylor asking to use his track after he’d just had a child. According to social media, he had a daughter in 2015 and a son in September of 2017. The interview is a bit confusing, timeline-wise. On one had, Görres says “I’d just become a father,” but then he implies that Max and Shellback had already completed most of the album. (For context, English isn’t his first language). Personally, I believe the believe the September 2017 date. Multiple sessioners have said Taylor said all songs on the album were about her relationship with Joe, and the tracklists in the reputation magazines are out of order, suggesting a late change. Taylor has has also been known to add a song to the album incredibly last minute— most notably Forever & Always on Fearless, but also with Death By A Thousand Cuts on Lover, which had to have been written post April 20, 2019 (but that's for another album).

And that's all for this timeline! Check out my others:

TIMELINES: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights PLAYLISTS: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights • entire discography GENERAL: tag

[certifiedcallahanstan]

The memoir of a horny fangirl

chapter 2

Warnings: This is a pretty heavy chapter, it shows a really vulnerable side to Hazel and the shitty side of the reader. I had to get this chapter done, so the rest can be lighter and more *spicy*. The next chapter will get back to baseball hazel!!

This chapter contains: sa

It’s been a couple days since you had received the picture and you know you shouldn’t be upset, Hazel is a grown woman and is allowed to kiss whomever she wants, it’s not like you two are together anyways. That however doesn’t stop you from trying to avoid her.

P.J invites you to the coffee shop with Josie and Brittany to do quote on quote “studying” which really means she wants to talk to you all about her latest hook up.

Despite your initial reluctance, you find yourself getting caught up in the conversation.

“and i mean it wasn’t a fucking normal sized strap, that shit was like- fucking xxl” P.J moves her hands at least a feet apart from eachother trying to demonstrate the size and josie scrunches up her nose.

“I don’t need to hear that P.J, you keep that to yourself” she huffs and you cover your mouth trying to stop a laugh from escaping.

For a brief moment, the weight of your emotions regarding Hazel and the photo fade into the background as you lose yourself in the conversation until eventually Brittany convinces everyone that we should probably study.

You pull out your notes adorned with doodles of different sea creatures and facts about them when you hear a familiar voice approach the table.

“Hey guys” the voice that belongs to the shaggy brunette starts “Josie told me you all were studying and that..” she looks at her phone reading the text “We are about to kill P.J, please come before one of us commits a felony”

P.J just responds with a huff a mutters something along the lines of “you all are just mad i get more hoes” as Hazel pulls out a chair and joins the group.

You scoot slightly more away from Hazel hoping nobody will notice. unfortunately these chairs are millenniums old and makes and obnoxious screeching noise

You cringe inwardly, feeling a flush of embarrassment creep up your cheeks as all eyes turn in your direction.

Hazel's gaze flickers briefly in your direction, her brow furrowing in confusion at the sudden noise.

"Sorry about that," you mumble, offering a sheepish smile as you try to play off the noise. "These chairs are... uh, not the most cooperative."

Everyone seems to accept that excuse as they get back to their previous tasks. You start shading in the sea creature you were previously drawing in your journal when you feel P.J looming over you.

“what the fuck knuckles is that” she says as she points at your drawing

you look down at a your notebook where you had draw what looks like a eel-shark hybrid

“it’s called a frilled shark” you start explaining as all eyes look at you “they get their name from the frilly appearance of their gill sets. In fact they’re one of the few sharks that eat their prey whole…”

You trail off awkwardly, realizing that you may have gone a bit overboard with your explanation when you see everyone blankly staring at you. Clearing your throat, you try to steer the conversation back on track.

"Anyway, um... yeah, it's just a cool creature I thought I'd draw," you finish lamely

“I think it’s sick”

you turn your head to the voice and see Hazel smiling at you “i mean a shark that moves like an eel?”

"Yeah, exactly!" you respond, a smile spreading across your face as you meet Hazel's gaze. "It's pretty fascinating how they've adapted to their environment."

fuck why does she have to be so damn irresistible.

your thoughts are cut off by the slamming of a text book and you see Brittany getting up “my brain feels all mushy, im going home to take a nap”

Josie nods, putting her computer in her back pack “i should probably get back to Isabel” and P.J mutters something about going to “fuck then duck” whatever that means.

Soon enough it’s just you and Hazel, you try to ignore the tension, but damn it’s so thick you could cut it with a knife.

For a moment, neither of you speaks, the silence stretching between you as you both seem lost in your own thoughts. You fidget nervously, unsure of what to say.

Finally, Hazel clears her throat, breaking the silence with a hesitant smile. "So... um, how have you been?" she asks, her voice soft and tentative.

You swallow, trying to push aside the swirling emotions that threaten to overwhelm you. "I've been okay," you reply, your voice slightly strained. "Just... you know, trying to stay busy with school and stuff."

and not making out with random red heads and getting chlamydia you add in your head.

Hazel nods, her gaze flickering briefly as she seems to search for the right words. "Yeah, I get that," she says quietly “hey um..have you been avoiding me? i’ve tried to text you but you haven’t answered and everytime i try to come up to you you walk the opposite direction”

your jaw clenches as you start putting everything in your shark printed back pack “what reason would i have to avoid you Hazel” your voice tinged with frustration and hurt.

she runs her ringed fingers through her hair and you try not to notice the prominent veins “that’s what i’m trying to figure out, did i do something?”

“not everything is about you callahan” you grunt out as you try to gather all your loose papers

“here let me help-“

“i don’t need your help” you shove her arm away and in the process her hand hits an open water bottle spilling water all over your notebook. the notebooks that has three years worth of research in it

A sense of panic washes over you as you scramble to salvage what you can, frantically wiping at the water with trembling hands. Hazel watches helplessly, her expression a mixture of concern and regret.

"I'm sorry," she says softly, her voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't mean to... I was just trying to..."

You cut her off with a sharp gesture, your own frustration boiling over as you struggle to contain your emotions. "Just... leave me alone, Hazel," you mutter, your voice thick with emotion.

she steps back as her eyebrows knit together “this wouldn’t have happened if you just let me help. Maybe instead of pushing people away talk to them”

You can see the hurt etched in her features, and for a moment, you feel a pang of guilt tug at your conscience.

"I'm sorry, I just..." you begin, your voice catching in your throat as tears threaten to spill from your eyes. With a heavy sigh, you toss your notebook into the trash and sling your backpack over your shoulder

"I have to go," you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper as you turn away, unable to face Hazel in that moment. With each step you take, the distance between you and Hazel grows, the ache of regret gnawing at your heart.

Hazel just presses her lips together and nods before you see the same red head from the photo calling her name in an annoying high pitched voice.

You watch in silence as Hazel hesitates, her eyes briefly searching yours for any sign of a response. Before you can gather your thoughts, she turns away, putting on a fake smile as the red-headed girl approaches.

"What's up, Becca?" she says, her tone polite but strained, the artificiality of her smile not escaping your notice.

you turn away, knowing that it's not your place to intervene in Hazel's personal life. And also if you stayed there someone would be getting punched in the face, and here’s a hint. it wasn’t going to be you.

—————————————

“Did you say sorry at least?” Isabel ask as you lay upside down on her bed, letting the blood flow rush to your head to try to forget about what Josie now calls “they great water incident” that happened last week

"Yeah, I did," you reply with a sigh, your voice muffled from your upside-down position. “kinda.. i dunno. I mean you should’ve seen the way that becky, bexar, what ever the fuck her name is held onto her”

P.J shoves a handful of chips into her mouth and shrugs “i say kill the bitch”

Josie tosses a pillow at her face and huffs “We already have one murderous charge against us, we don’t need another”

Isabel nods in agreement. "Exactly. We'll figure this out without resorting to murder,"

“fine” P.J huffs holding her hands in the air “but just know that i know people”

“mhmm” you hum as you launch yourself back into an upright position on the bed stealing chips from P.J’s bowl.

As the group starts debating whether han solo or darth vader would be better in bed, you can’t help but wonder at this exact moment what hazel is doing.

——————————————

Hazel sits on her bed in her apartment talking about how the frilled shark can unhinge their jaw and eat prey at least twice their size as the red head sits and stares at her.

Hazel has never been one for social cues, she sincerely honestly thought that Rebecca just needed a friend, and sure they made out at the party but in her defense her face looked similar to yours in the midst of her 6 shots.

So here they are in Hazels apartment, Hazel blabbering about the eel-shark abomination (that she most definitely didn’t spend five hours researching after finding out about it)

“Rebecca? did you hear what i said” she stops and tilts her head with wide eyes

Rebecca nods and turns to Hazel “mhm- yeah the shark is like- long or some shit”

“you seem distracted” the brunette mutters “and it’s not called a long shark it’s called a frilled shark because-“ her sentence is interrupted when she hears Rebecca let out a drawn out sigh and move closer to Hazel.

“Yeah that’s kinda gross Hazey and i’m bored so how about we have some fun…”

“i don’t know what you mean-“ hazel starts before the girl lifts her shirt off and suddenly Hazel realizes why this girl has been being so nice to her.

"I... I don't think that's a good idea," Hazel stammers, her voice tinged with unease as she shifts uncomfortably on the bed.

“come on baby” Rebecca whines as she crawls into an unwilling Hazels lap “I’ve heard how good you are in bed”

And it’s true, Hazel was amazing in bed and she has had her fair share of hookups, but usually she knows about them before.

"Rebecca, I... I really don't think this is a good idea," Hazel insists, her voice shaky as she gently tries to push Rebecca away. "I'm not interested in anything like that right now."

“shhh” Rebecca whispers out as she slams her lips against Hazels and suddenly everything seems too much, Rebecca’s lips are wet, the lights are too bright, the AC is too loud. Panic grips her as she struggles to push Rebecca away, her thoughts a jumble of fear and confusion.

"Stop," Hazel manages to choke out, her voice barely audible over the rush of blood in her ears. She pushes against Rebecca's chest with all her strength, her heart pounding with urgency.

Rebecca pulls back, frustration evident on her face. "What's wrong?" she demands, her voice tinged with irritation.

Hazel's chest heaves as she tries to catch her breath, her mind reeling with a flood of emotions. "I... I told you to stop," she says, her voice trembling

Rebecca's expression darkens, her features contorted with anger as she takes a step forward. "You're just playing hard to get,"

Hazel manages to push Rebecca off her lap and quickly stands up, putting some distance between them.

"I think it's best if you leave," she says firmly, her voice trembling slightly with the effort to maintain composure.

With a frustrated huff, Rebecca storms out of the room, leaving Hazel alone with her racing thoughts and pounding heart. As she sinks onto the bed she grabs her phone with shakey hands and presses your contact then the call button.

“Hey what’s up” your voice bellows out from Hazels phone

“Hey i don’t know what-“

“HAHA JK this is my voice mail, leave a message or don’t i don’t care” your voice interrupts and Hazel can’t help the tears that fall down her face

“Hey..i don’t know if you’ll see this but Rebecca was here and i thought we were just friends, i mean i know i kissed her but i was drunk and..anyways we were talking and-“ Hazels voice cracks “-and she climbed on me and i told her to get off but she didn’t and- and she kissed me and maybe it’s my fault but..i don’t know what the point of calling you is because i’m pretty sure you hate me. I dunno, i just needed to tell someone.”

She presses the hang up button and brings her knees to her chest letting out a sob. How could she have been so stupid? Flash backs of when her dad would buy her these new suits and buttons up because he knew you hated dresses, but then make her get dressed in front of him flashed back into her mind.

Despite her best efforts to push those memories aside, they continue to haunt her, casting a shadow over her as she cries herself eventually to sleep.

———————————

it’s not until two days later that you see the voice mail, you’re sitting in your biology class with your airpod in when you click the play button.

“What the fuck?!” you blurt out when it finishes and suddenly all eyes are on you.

You smile sheepishly as you gather all of your belongings and rush out of the classroom calling P.J

after three rings she answers with a “I’m talking to this really hot chick so this better be important”

“You remember when we said that we weren’t going to kill anyone anymore”

P.J hums “well YOU ALL said that, i never actually agreed to it”

“Yeah well…it’s time for some killing..or at least seriously maiming”

as you explained the situation to P.J, the last thing she said before she hung up was

“let’s go kick some leprechaun ass”

————————————

Okay so YOU didn’t kick some leprechaun ass, P.J insisted she could take Rebecca herself and you assuming it went well because as you were driving (well over the speed limit) to Hazels house you receive a message from P.J saying “i’m like 75% sure she’s still alive, anyways if police come questioning you, say a rabid bear attacked her”

You chose not to question her further.

You get to Hazels house and you take a deep breath, you’ve never been good at comforting people, usually you just pat their back and give them water. You assume that probably won’t work for this situation .

Taking a deep breath, you exit your car and make your way to Hazel's apartment. Each step feels heavier than the last, the weight of the situation bearing down on you with each passing moment.

you knock on the door three times fast, two slow, that was your signature knock for her since middle school. As the door swings open, you're greeted by the sight of Hazel, her eyes red-rimmed from tears. Without a word, you pull her into a tight embrace, holding her close.

“y-you came-“ Hazel mutters out as you pull away and she wipes her eyes

“yeah of course haze, im sorry i didn’t see the voice mail till today”

Hazel nods, her expression grateful as she steps back, allowing you to enter her apartment. As you settle into the living room, Hazel gestures for you to take a seat on the couch beside her. You can sense her hesitancy, so you squeeze her hand and softly smile.

“you can talk to me about whatever, you know that right haze?”

Hazel meets your gaze, her eyes reflecting a mixture of emotions—vulnerability, fear, and a glimmer of hope. With a shaky breath, she begins to recount the events of that night, pouring out her heart and soul to you.

And all you saw was fucking red. How the fuck could someone do this to her Hazel, her sweet, beautiful, funny Hazel?

Your heart pounds in your chest as Hazel's words sink in, each one feeling like a blow to your own sense of justice. Anger simmers beneath the surface as you listen to the betrayal she endured, your grip on her hand tightening instinctively.

Taking a deep breath to steady yourself, you meet Hazel's gaze with determination burning in your eyes. "Hazel, I am so sorry that you had to go through that," you say, your voice firm but gentle. "But I promise you, we will get through this together. I won't let anyone hurt you like that again."

Hazel coughs out a laugh and looks at you with wet eyes “That’s supposed to be my line”

You smile softly at her response, a flicker of warmth spreading through your chest. "Well, consider it borrowed for now," you say, returning her gaze with sincerity. "Because I mean every word of it. I'm here for you, Hazel, no matter what."

In that moment, as you sit together in quiet solidarity, you know that your bond with Hazel runs deeper than words can express. And with that unspoken understanding, you both find solace in each other's presence.

[hotpinkstars]

-> theres no place quite like here

synopsis -> you take shenhe to a gorgeous location to spend your lantern rite together. the whole purpose? was to catch a glamorous sunset.

warnings -> none! pure fluff.

a/n -> someone plz know what song i quoted. i will be so happy if someone can recognize these lyrics omg

w/c -> 907

“shenhe, come on! the beautiful sunset is only preserved for so long. blink and you’ll miss it!” you rushed your wife out the door, keeping an eye on the outside to make sure that tonight, this visit will be worth it.

she sighed, proceeding to put on a pair of shoes quicker than the pace she followed before, as you were anxiously bouncing on your heels. she didn’t necessarily understand what was going to happen, she just knew you were excited.

as soon as she had her shoes on she was dragged out the door, immediately forced into a sprint. she was surprised with how long you were able to run for- but she also kept your speed. 

you ran what felt like the extent of liyue until you got to the heart of yilong wharf. you stopped running, cuing her to also stop too. you bought a few snacks, hastily pulling a pouch of mora out of your pocket and likely tipping those stall owners a fair amount, you took off into a sprint once again. 

but this time, there was mountain climbing involved. you groaned, looking back at shenhe, who simply nodded and told her where to go. you climbed ahead of her, but she took a more advanced route, giving you time to breathe every once in a while. that didn’t slow your pace, though.

finally, your awaited destination was just a large rock away. the sun was also, finally in the perfect position, making the skies a beautiful mix of purples, pinks, and reds. you did your last climb and layed on the ground of mt. mingyuan, exhausted from all the effort you made to come up here. 

“what was the point of this trip?” questioned a very confused shenhe. you giggled a little bit.

“look behind you, shen.”

and that she did. you could see her eyes glimmer with elation. once she saw the gorgeous sky, she nodded, flashing a small smile in your direction. there was nobody else up here- it showed nobody wanted to do the actual work of climbing such a distance, but that only meant that it was all the more special for the both of you. 

shenhe got up and walked to the spot you patted next to you. she sat down, crossing her legs and sitting straight up. sometimes you admired how she had such perfect posture, and this was one of those times. well, assuming adeptal arts practice good posture, you picked up where she learned it from. you straightened up under influence from the white haired woman inches from you.

you wanted to hug her, bring her in tight to your body, but you thought to let her have her moment. she seemed to be admiring the view in front of her, signaling she doesn’t get to see these things too often. 

“you know, sunsets like these are hard to come by around here. i’ve heard that inazuma has the prettiest by far,” she starts, and you look out at the horizon alongside her. she stands up, walking towards the mountains edge. “but i do not believe that it can pass over this one. i haven’t seen anything like this, even with my moments living up on the mountain tops with master.” 

you nod, and she looks back at you. 

“maybe it’s so pretty because it’s the lantern rite. or maybe it’s because you are alongside me on this fine night. but one thing i may have to say is that theres certainly no place like here.” 

you smiled. you were glad shenhe liked it, you had planned this out for months, just waiting for the right day to give its chance. and it seemed it was that day- the same day as the glorious, big fireworks that happen every year go off. 

“shenhe, you know the fireworks go off tonight, right?” you put a serving of tofu into your mouth, having bought a bag of almond tofu from a local vendor below. “i would’ve brought you to liyue city if the day wasn’t as gorgeous as it is now. i know you dislike crowded areas anyways, so this played well in our favor.”

she nodded, taking a seat on the cliffside. you crawled through the small patch of grass separating you from her, and took your seat right next to her. you offered her some tofu, which she accepted and slowly ate a piece before looking back out, the sky being a dark blue, reminding the world that the day doesn’t last forever. 

after a few hours of either talking or just basking in each others presence, you saw the first gorgeous ray of pink fire, signaling the first firework has been shot off and the show has started. you felt like you had front row seats; though liyue was rather far from your current location, the fireworks were big enough and set off in an easily accessible place, even allowing people from dragonspine to see if they’re at a certain angle. 

you felt shenhe sigh on your shoulder, wrapping an arm around your waist. you smile slightly, hugging her back, scooting back a bit as to not fall off the cliff. 

you both watched the rest of the show, getting up and heading home when it was over. you genuinely had a fun time tonight, and though she didn’t show it, you could tell shenhe did too. what a life, you thought.

[webanglikethat]

ADDRESSING SOMETHING IMPORTANT.

so, I just want to address something I found out recently. await a long rant tbh.

while scrolling through my second account (which I do not use often — it’s on my iPad and it’s simply because I couldn’t be bothered to remember my login details for this account), I searched my username because I wanted to find a very old post I reposted about ice skating. while doing so, my name popped up in a post I had never seen before. thus, I realized my name was on a blocklist. I was extremely confused. I just recently, during May (don’t quote me on that though), began being active on Tumblr. before that, I was mostly lurking and reblogging fics from fandoms like Obey Me! or Haikyuu. so, I really didn’t know why a person would put me on such a blocklist.

turns out, they’ve been looking through the “narcissistic abuse” and “#narcissistic abuse is real”, “#raised by narcissists” and “surviving narcissism”. the reason why they put me on this blocklist is because they believe I am of the notion that every person with ND (narcissistic disorder) is an abuser. to say I was shocked would be an understatement tbh. I was so confused. I never stated that ANYWHERE on my account. so I began looking and combing through my liked on those tags. I did find two / three posts with those tags that I liked.

One of the posts in question says:

'you're so sensitive'

THANKS

i was never fully allowed to express my emotions as a child because when i did i would get yelled or made fun of”

narcissistic mother is the 13th tag. or for example this one:

now, me personally I don’t get it. I think it’s fucking ridiculous — and pardon my language but the anger has been rising more and more since reading all of that — to look and nitpick for every. single. post. I had no idea they were even tagged with narcissism. I never claimed that my mom nor dad are narcissists. sure they’re messed up. but I never claimed that. the fact that someone has extrapolated such a specific and serious claim from my online activity is not just incorrect, it's irresponsible. I get that people are trying to be aware and protective of others online. that is great, really. but this level of scrutiny and assumption? it is not helping anyone. it’s just creating more misunderstanding and division. can’t someone like stuff they relate to anymore? I got fucking trauma thanks to childhood abuse, can’t I be allowed to look at stuff and think “wow, me too!” without being afraid of misjudgment? that’s kind of the whole point of social media, isn't it? to connect, to feel less alone in our experiences? I should be able to see a post that resonates with my experiences, think "Wow, me too!" and hit that like button without fear of being misunderstood or labeled. it’s not about diagnosing anyone or pushing an agenda. it’s about finding moments of connection in this big, messy digital world despite the gloominess of the real one.

this person stated they weren’t 100% sure if I believed in this or not.

isn’t that just so stupid. you go out of your way, nitpick my name and then state you’re . Not Sure? you’re ruining my character and my image. I don’t even know you.

this is SO infuriating. I’ve worked hard to curate my online presence to reflect my interests and personality, only to have some clueless jerk — again, excuse my wording but I can’t be bothered to care about someone’s feelings right now — misinterpret my intentions and slap my name on a blocklist based on pure assumptions. it’s so insane that liking or relating to a post is enough to get you labeled and shunned without any direct statements or actions to back it up.

what’s even worse in my opinion is that this person admits they’re not sure of my stance. they have jumped to conclusions based on a handful of posts I’ve liked, without any solid evidence of my beliefs or intentions. it’s one thing to fight against harmful ideologies, but it’s another to vilify someone based on wild guesses.

to the person who put me on this blocklist: you don’t know me. you don’t know my experiences, my thoughts, or my intentions. your actions have real consequences, and you’ve chosen to act on baseless assumptions instead of facts. this isn’t activism; it’s a witch hunt. and it needs to stop. you claim to be fighting against harmful ideologies, yet here you are, perpetuating the very toxicity you pretend to oppose. you are not solving problems; you're creating them. you’re not protecting anyone; you're just stroking your own ego and patting yourself on the back for being such a "good person." Newsflash: good people don't engage in character assassination based on hunches and half-baked theories.

I mean for god’s sake — did it ever occur to your brain that your actions have real consequences? that by putting me on a blocklist, you're potentially cutting me off from communities, conversations, and connections that matter to me? all because you couldn't be bothered to do actual research or, God forbid, reach out and ask me directly about my views? and let's talk again about your spineless approach to this whole situation. you block me, refuse to engage, and then have the audacity to claim you're "not 100% sure" about my beliefs? if you're not sure, then why the hell did you take action? your uncertainty doesn't absolve you of responsibility; it makes your actions even more reprehensible.

so while you might never see this since 1) you blocked me, 2) are not replying to me on my second account — I demand an apology and a retraction. not just for my sake, but for everyone who’s ever been misjudged and slandered by people who think they know better. this isn’t how we build understanding and empathy. THIS is how we build walls and create divisions. and I refuse to be a part of that bullshit.

and to anyone else who thinks they can pull this kind of stunt: think again. I won't stand idly by while keyboard warriors with delusions of grandeur try to dictate who I am or what I believe. again. you don't know me, you don't know my story, and you sure as hell don't have the right to define me based on your misguided assumptions. I mean, who appointed you as the moral arbiter of the internet? what makes you think you have the right, the authority, or the wisdom to dictate who I am or what I believe? you’re not a hero; you're a nuisance, a digital mosquito buzzing around, causing irritation and spreading disease.

if you truly care about making the internet a better place, start by looking in the mirror. examine your own biases, your own knee-jerk reactions. ask yourself why you're so quick to judge, so eager to categorize people into neat little boxes that fit your worldview.

remember that behind every username is a real person, with real feelings and real experiences that you know nothing about. your actions have consequences, and it's high time you started considering them.

I won't be silenced. I won't be labeled. and I sure as hell won't stand by while you and your ilk try to dictate the terms of online existence. this is my story, my identity, my truth. and no amount of your misguided, self-important crusading will change that.

the mic is yours @cccat-in-a-meat-sack,

will you finally answer?

[sardonic-the-writer]

—business man

SUMMARY | tip number one to survive new york: If you see a blonde british boy running up and offering you pond water, run.

PAIRING | tommyinnit x reader

REQUESTED | no

WARNINGS | none

WORD COUNT | 1.5k+

AUTHORS NOTES | i've gotten back into the swing of things haven't i

🛹 Masterlist 🛹 Navigation 🛹 Rules 🛹

New York was many things. Dirty. Expensive looking while managing to be cheap in quality. Crowded. A tourist trap. But most of all, it was captivating.

Try as you may, the beauty of the heavily graffitied alleyways and skateparks was not lost on you. Each act of vandalism, each scuff left behind from a sneaker as someone lost their footing on a halfpipe, told a story. Perhaps it wasn't the content of these stories that held your interest in an iron clad grip, but rather the fact that they weren't yours. And you had always had a knack for poking your curiosity where it didnt belong.

Perhaps that's why you didn't do the sensible thing that afternoon and turn to walk away as a yelling British teenager approached you with a bottle of water.

All you had really wanted was to take a quick walk down to your favorite corner store to stock up on the basics for your tiny apartment that cost an arm and leg to live in. Maybe pick up a cookie or something from the bakery near it on the way back.

You figured it wouldn't take long, considering you knew a short cut. Straight through a little plaza located right next to a far more popular park. It was no diamond in the rough so to speak. There were probably dozens like that one sprinkled all around the city, but it offered some relief for your aching feet. If you cut through there and past a little path hidden among some bushes in the corner of it, you'd shave roughly ten minutes off your walk. It was either you took that or you would have to start investing in better shoe support.

"Hey! Hello there!"

Sounds of surrounding foot traffic blended from person to person. No one conversation stuck long enough for you to make out what was being said, but it was fun to try and imagine. Occasionally an odd quote in passing would elicit a harsh laugh from you before it was disguised as a poor cough.

"Hulloooo. Over here!"

Was someone trying to talk to you?

Your brows furrowed, picking up the sound of someone's voice for the second time that past minute, seemingly directed right at you. Your neck swiveled around a quick ninety degrees, hoping to all hell this wasn't some weird catcalling ploy. But all thoughts of anything like that vanished as soon as you found the grinning source of your confusion.

He had the wildest blond hair you had ever seen. It curled into ringlets in some places and clung to other parts of his head messily. Like he had slept wrong on a long car trip across the country.

His hoodie, as red as a crayon straight out of the box, was marked with small print you couldn't make out. It was only until he had begun to get closer—two more people in tow—did you realize you had been stood staring at his hoodie for longer than intended.

"Excuuuuse me!" There was no mistake now that you were the target of this person's interest. That was clear enough in the way he sprinted over, shoes slapping noisily across concrete, just to reach your side.

It wasn't uncommon to be flagged down with strangers holding stuff on the bustling streets of the big apple. Some were nicer than others, simply offering a look at their product before moving on when they got no response. Others took to sneakier and more forceful methods. They were one of the many reasons you had taken to donning a resting bitch face.

"Why hello there! Don't you look parched?" His smile was too wide, too genuine, to be true. Eyes crinkling at the edges with a hint of humor you had the feeling you wouldn't, or rather couldn't, understand even if you tried.

Instincts told you to wave him off and keep going on your merry way ignoring the pain in your feet. But you took one more look at him with his loud accent and crooked smile and decided not to.

"Not really." Your shoulders moved in an up and down motion, shrugging off whatever sales pitch he had set up. "Was about to hop on over to the store. Gonna get a drink there anyways." A lie. But like I said before, you had a habit of becoming to invested in situations like these. And maybe you wanted to see how he responded to your bluff. Just a little.

"Well fair pedestrian—" Wow he really was loud. Energetic too from the looks of it. "—what if I told you I could offer something far better than any bland soda you Americans drink? Hmm?"

"Oh really?" You flicked your gaze to the plastic bottle crinkling in his hand, noting the way it seemed to swirl around with bits of silt and salt in it. "Just looks like pond water to me."

"Ah! A smart customer. Got a melon on their head aye?" He turned to look at his companions now. More specifically at the one holding a camera, a detail you hadn't noticed until now. Not that it bothered you. People always had cameras out nowadays. especially in a city as famous as this.

"So it's just pond water. I'm assuming from that fountain over there?"

"Right on! Big Drink, the water of the future."

Okay maybe you were having a bit too much fun humoring this kid.

"Alright mister businessman." He puffed his chest out at your title, and while you couldn't tell if it was for the presence of a camera or simply because it filled him with a sense of pride, it brought a smile to your face nonetheless. "Say I do decide to take a shot in the dark at your new product. What's in it for me? And more importantly, will my wallet be hurting after our exchange of goods and or services." You winced at that last bit, making a clicking sound with your tounge. "Maybe I can rephrase that better next time."

But the lanky figure next to you didn't seem to mind, letting out a laugh that could only be described as boisterous before straightening back up.

"Well, you'd be the first to invest in this promising product, only at the cost of one hundred dollas! But for you I'll add on a discount of ninety nine percent." His accent thickened a considerable amount on the last bit, presumably with excitement.

"Very generous of you mister businessman."

"Thats mister businessman Tommy to you."

Alright. So you were now standing here, fishing for your wallet in front of three strangers, one of which you were now on a first name basis with. Now that could either be the set up for a very bad stand-up comedy joke, or something to be concerned about. But for some reason, it was the most fun you had had in ages.

"I'll be expecting my share of the cut in the mail when you rag tag lot make it big. Make it out to one (Y/n) the fabulous. I prefer hard cold cash, preferably delivered in an envelope" Your laugh was full of childlike enjoyment as you handed Tommy a crumpled five-dollar bill in exchange for the water bottle. Only after he paused to scribble something on the lable—a detail that you missed.

However, what you didn't miss was the way his smile faltered a little, clearly not expecting the surplus of money even if so miniscule. But you got the feeling he wasn't upset. Just surprised someone would do that in the first place. And honestly, so were you—although not regretful. Still. Bye bye cookie you had been looking forward to. Hello pond water that smelled faintly of piss.

"Consider the other four dollars money for the postage when I get my share of the cut."

Tommy shoved the bill in his pocket. He looked at you with a different flash of something in his baby blues now. A more friendly look—if that was even possible. He was probably the most friendly person you had met, especially on the streets.

"Trust me, you'll get it if it's the last thing I ever do." He gave a goofy salute in your honor, causing one of the camera men from behind to giggle before quieting quickly.

"Good luck with the rest of your sales Tommy." You offered a small wave as you walked off, clutching your newly acquired prize loosely.

Common sense told you to throw it in the first trashcan you passed. Getting rid of whatever plague the liquid might be containing.

But the longer you walked, thinking about that bright smile and genuine joy you had just encountered, your grip only tightened on the plastic.

It wasn't until you were three blocks away from the plaza did you see the number hastily scrawled on the edge of the handmade label. Right next to big bold words, reading Big Drink!!!!!™️ 

You were quick to utilize it. Probably too quick to be honest.

text sent at 6:21 pm do you give your number out to all your coustomers? must be bad for buisness

text received at 6:21 pm only the fuinny ones

text received at 6:22 pm fuck

text received at 6:22 pm *funny

Yeah. The water bottle was worth it.

[xreaderbooks]

Paradise on Earth (18)

Chapter: 18. The Cross

Pair: JJ Maybank x Routledge! Reader

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: Language, mentions of sex, grave digging

Summary: All kinds of secrets are revealed in the island room

Links: Wattpad and AO3, Playlist

Chapter 17 - Series Masterlist - Navigation - Chapter 19

You had a headache. The events of last night had you tossing and turning. The illicit fight, the key is taken, you consoled Pope as best you could as he let his tears flow freely and the sobs wrack from his throat and into his crossed arms- you rubbed his back and let him rant. You feared he was close to his breaking point if he wasn’t already.

All of you had hardly slept, talking through the night about the new game plan- there was none- you were all sleeping in unintentional shifts, sprawled around the porch til daylight. You had all come to the conclusion that it was over, there was nothing left to be done even with Denmark Tanny’s diary.

The key was your only true lead. 

That was until Sarah Cameron walked into your screened patio where you all lay like dead flies.

You whistled lowly at the sight of her, “Look what the cat dragged in.”

“Shouldn’t you be on Figure Eight with your little group of polo players?” John B taunted her. “Or did you break up with Topper?”

She smiled sarcastically at him, “We’re just friends.”

“It seems like you have a lot of friends, Sarah Cameron.” Your brother continued as she walked a little way from him between where JJ was leaning against the metal that attached the screen and Pope who was sitting on a recliner chair.

“Yeah, and it seems like you’ve got some of your own too,” She must have seen John B with the girl who had invited him to the bonfire. “I’m here for Pope.”

Pope gave her a confused face.

“I found the island room.”

The five of you instantly perked up, the words she had just spoken had revived you all with hope.

Immediately, the six of you hopped into the Twinkie and rode out to Tannyhill.

“Guys listen to this!” Pope calls for attention holding the stack of paper that were copies of the diary. “The diary says the cross holds the most holy relic in all of Christendom, the garment of the savior.”

“So wait, it’s saying there’s a holy garment inside the cross?” Kie peeks over his shoulder to look at the paper.

“Yeah, it says the garment is capable of healing the sick from any malady.”

That must be what Limberey was after this whole time, you thought, that delusional bitch.

“‘If only I may touch his garment, I shall be made well’" JJ quoted from who knows where. You side-eye him from your seat, the rest of your friends equally as bewildered by him. “What? I went to Sunday school.”

“That’s why Limberey is desperate to find it, she wants it to heal her,” You said. “What else does it say?”

“‘Many feel that we have sinned to steal such a sacred thing and God will strike his vengeance on us’” Pope recites.

“Thing is, God did have his vengeance...” Kie pursed her lips.

“He sent a hurricane to sink the ship, only Denmark survived,” Pope says solemnly.

~~~

Sarah directs you all around the mansion, guiding you all through several corridors to a room that you believe to remember is where Ward took his meetings. The room was completely different now, the fancy wallpaper was torn off, and a mural of a town was painted on the walls of the room.

“It’s the island room,” Sarah gave him a pleased smile. “It has to be.”

Pope walked into the room and written all over his features was pure awe “This has got to mean something.”

“This is a map of the whole island,” John B noted.

You take notice of historical Kildare Island landmarks, as do the others, they name the places the group has been to. Parcel 9, the lighthouse- JJ mentioned Rixon’s, and John B just pointed out the surf break at Mase. The boys determined that the drawing in Denmark's diary and his writing had matched that of the paintings on the wall.

“This has something to do with the key, right?” You ask, though at this point it was obvious it definitely did. You run your fingers across the torn edges of the wallpaper leftover and question Sarah, “How did you uncover it?”

“I didn’t, it was like this when I got home.”

“So then who did it?” Kie questions.

A voice came from the door you all had entered through not too long ago, you and the rest of the pogues jumped at the sound. It turned out to be Wheezie, she answered Kie, “It was the freaks.”

“What freaks are we talking about, Wheeze?” JJ recovered from being startled by her quicker than the rest of the group.

“That sick lady and her attack dog,” She said. You laughed at what she called Renfield, you sent the group an apologetic smile as Wheezie explained. “They showed up last night, and they wanted to talk to Rafe-”

“Pale blonde lady?”

“Crutches?”

“It’s gotta be Limberey.”

Pope, JJ, and Kie give out identifiers of the one person who could have known about this.

“What happened?” You asked, not wanting to wait any longer for the details.

“First, they searched the whole house looking for something, and then Rafe told me to go upstairs, but I didn’t wanna miss out so I listened through the grate, I heard Rafe show them this room and the paper ripping. They were talking about getting across the sand flamingo.”

“That’s code, that’s code for something!” JJ immediately theorized.

Pope dismissed him and clarified with Wheezie, “The cross of Santo Domingo?”

“Yeah that’s it, and they were talking about angels- a lot of angel talk, I don’t know.”

“Denmark’s famous last words!” You piece everything together. “He buried the real treasure at the foot of the angel.”

Pope snaps his finger, “We have to find the angel in the room!”

Everyone spreads out and starts to search for any sign of an angel, Wheezie said something that made you freeze, and a cold chill went down your spine.

“You know, I could never ask Rafe 'cause I know he’d be a dick about it but did you guys break up?” She spoke nonchalantly, “He’s been extra asshole-ish lately and I know there’s a lot going on-”

John B stood still, slowly turning his head to Wheezie. Sarah’s eyes looked like they were about to pop out of her head, “What did you just say?”

You couldn’t move, all thoughts of looking for the angel were gone, you could hear a pin drop in the room as everyone had stopped moving.

“Y/n and Rafe,” Her voice got quieter, just now realizing that she had said something she wasn’t supposed to. Heat rushed up from your neck to your cheeks, not from embarrassment but from shame, that same feeling you get when you're in elementary school and get sent into the principal's office you probably weren't in trouble but it felt like the end of the world. To make matters worse, she pulls out her phone and hands it to Sarah.

You didn’t want to know, you shut your eyes, this was a nightmare- it had to be some shitty nightmare that when you opened your eyes it would all be gone. Everyone was staring at the youngest Cameron’s phone, Kie looked disgusted, Pope couldn’t have hidden the betrayal on his face, and JJ… he was still upset with you so his current indifference toward you hadn’t changed.

“Guys-” You started.

“How could you?” John B practically shoved Wheezie’s phone in your face, you grabbed it and saw a picture, he tapped on it so they could see the date it was taken on the top. “How long?”

Your lips quivered, the tears welling in your eyes, “We weren't together.”

“And that’s supposed to make it better?” John B shouted at you. You flinched, John B hardly ever spoke to you like this, and if he did- you were right there with him. It stung, it felt like getting scolded by your favorite parent or favorite teacher who you never wanted to disappoint. John B was your brother, so fights were normal but it never felt like this.

You didn’t know what else to say, “I’m sorry.” It came out in a sob.

“He framed me for murder, Y/n, he jumps Pope like every other day with no regret!” John B mentions every way Rafe has wronged the group. “He almost killed his own sister!”

You look at the ceiling to stop any more tears from falling, but it was too late, when you blinked they fell. 3-4 at a time, came flooding out of your eyes, you took every word he yelled at you, you knew Kie and Pope had their own thoughts to chew you out but John B was giving it all to you that they didn’t need to.

“Hey, yo guys!” JJ called out to the group suddenly in front of a painting with a tree. “Come here, this humongous tree is still on Goat Island, you know what it’s called?”

John B is breathing heavily and still glaring at you as he walks over to JJ with a shake of his head, Pope glances over at you once- not meeting your eye.

“Angel Oak,” He responds.

JJ points to the center of the painting of the tree, “Look, there’s a keyhole. That means the cross is buried at the foot of the angel, that must be where he put it, we should go.”

Pope wastes no time rushing out of the room, the others going after him, you push Wheezies phone into her chest as you walk out.

“I didn’t know that you didn’t tell them!” She comes after you. “I’m sorry.”

You shook your head but you couldn’t find it in yourself to reassure her with a smile, you settled for just telling her it didn’t matter. “They were gonna find out one way or another.”

Surprisingly, they were still waiting for you in the Twinkie the sliding door left open for you. No one would speak to you, which was fine- you found it better that way. Pope gave John B directions, the tree was past Freedman’s church, a long road surrounded by trees and wetland.

“Shit,” John B cursed. “Tide’s coming in.”

The path turned muddy, there were tracks already imprinted in the dirt that Pope had pointed out. JJ who was in the passenger seat asked John B if they should risk it, “It’s a little dicey.”

“Well, clearly they made it,” Kie stated.

“In a two-wheel drive?” JJ clicked his tongue. “I don’t know about that.”

“Why are y’all acting like you’re not gonna do it anyways?” You dared to quip. “Like when have you ever done the safe thing?”

John B turned his head to give you a quick once over and JJ gave him a downward smile and they both shrugged, you didn’t take this as a sign of being on good terms, simply giving them the fuel they needed to do what they needed to do with no hesitation.

You, Pope, Kie, and Sarah held onto whatever you could as JJ talked John B through the speed he needed to get through the land without getting stuck. At a distance that was deemed safe enough to park, the Twinkie was stopped and the group piled out to where the Angel Oak tree was.

JJ began to ramble about gators, you weren’t entirely sure if it was to diffuse the tension that hung around the group now but it was working. You walked behind the rest of them, Sarah and John B a little ahead of you talking- bickering- more like, amongst themselves until she let a tree branch smack him in the face.

You snickered to yourself which earned you a sharp glare from your brother.

“John B-”

“Not now, Y/n.”

You sighed and came up behind Sarah and Kie who were hidden behind the cover of tall bushes. You heard Limberey’s dreamy voice go on about the significance of the garment, one touch and she will be healed. By the sound of the sarcasm dripping from Renfield’s voice, he doubted it.

There was a crane that dug through the roots of the tree, handled by a hired construction worker. He hit something hard that was covered by soil, and Limberey ordered him to stop. Rafe and Renfield dug with their hands and lifted a casket.

The pogues impatiently stood by as they opened it with a crowbar, the woman’s face fell in disappointment, “We must have missed something.”

She grabs ahold of her crutches and shouts out her new plans to go back to the island room and how it wasn’t over.

The coast was clear once they packed everything up, Rafe got into his range rover, and the construction worker hauled the crane on the back of his truck that was rigged up with something to hold it, Limberey right behind them.

Pope came out of hiding, and ran straight for the casket, “Cecilia Tanny, Denmark’s wife.”

It was empty, only dusty bones left.

“He wasn’t talking about the cross, he buried her at the foot of the angel.”

“The true treasure,” Kie breathed out.

How tragic, your heart clenched at truly devastating it all was- romantic even for all the wrong reasons. “Denmark was hung for burying his wife and they defiled her grave,” Pope reached in, searching for something in her ashen bones- a necklace with her name.

Sarah found something herself, a ring, “This must be from Denmark, her wedding ring.” She and John B shared a look.

“We can’t leave her like this.”

“We won’t,” John B reassured Pope.

You worked together to reseal the top of the wooden casket with nails from a toolbox in the Twinkie, the boys lifted and gently placed her in her resting place, and you all pushed the dirt back over it. Placing fresh flowers from around the area, on top of the spot.

“I just don’t get it,” Pope announces, “He hides his gold so no one finds it for 170 years and then he sends a message to his son, Robert, to come here to his mother’s grave- but the message never gets to him. Denmark wanted him to find the cross, I know we’re in the right spot, it just feels like-”

“Like we missed something?” JJ was looking up at the tree. “Guys, come here.”

Kie climbs up on the roof of the van and then onto the thick tree branch with JJ. “That looks like the painting from the island room.”

“It’s worth a shot right?” JJ reaches into the tree hollow, “There’s something in here.”

He begins to scream as if something inside was tugging him, he struggled to pull his arm out, and the four of you that were still on the ground instantly go to help him. You call his name and start climbing the van to reach him but his shouts were stopped by his laughter.

“Asshole,” You hop down from halfway up the Twinkie.

“I got all of you,” He chortles. “Wait, but seriously there’s something in here.”

He pulls out something metallic and thick, tossing it down to Pope before jumping from the tree to the ground and taking it from him. “Give it to the captain,” He observes before elongating it, “It’s a spyglass.”

“There’s something on the end,” You point out. “An inscription right there.”

“You’ve come this far, do not falter, the cross is on the Freedman’s altar,” Pope reads. “Freedman’s altar… the cross is at the church!”

~~~

Your luck appeared to have run out, the tide had risen and the path that was already made muddy from the water became worse. The road was gone, and John B hit the brakes before warning everyone to brace themselves, he and JJ debated if the Twinkie would make it or not; it did not.

About halfway there, John B hydroplanes and the Twinkie is stuck in the mud. Pope suggests you all walk from where you're at but John B refused to leave the Twinkie when the tide was still coming in.

“I can take my dad’s truck,” Kie begrudgingly suggests.

“Are you sure?” Pope asks.

“How much worse can it get, you know?”

“We’re gonna need something to pull her out with, there’s the winch at the Chateau,” JJ mentions. “That’s like two miles.”

“If you’re gonna do it, just go-” John B declares.

“Can- Can I go with?” You waver when you ask. JJ searches your eyes and glances at Kie as if he’s asking her permission, you almost roll your eyes at the action. She shrugs and encourages you with a tilt of her head.

You’d much rather deal with the asshole who was already giving you shit and your best friend who you could already hear in your head reprimanding you than face your brother, his ex, and the person who had been wronged time and time again by the person you had a secret affair with.

The three of you trekked through muddy waters until you reached the part of the road that had been untouched by the tide, and walked into town with half-soaked pants. The mission to Kie’s house went quickly, she snuck into her parent's house to steal the keys to the truck while you and JJ crouched outside the picket fence.

“You alright?”

You considered the question JJ asked you, it took you by surprise to say the least, you thought he was still upset- he probably still was but he cared. It increased the pace of your heart, you nodded, you didn’t think you were at the level yet with him to actually talk like everything was all good.

Kie tossed the keys at JJ the moment she came back, you rushed to get into her dad’s truck as JJ turned the car on and you were off to your next stop.

“This’ll only take a sec, it’s in the surf shack,” JJ told you both, running out the door- tripping, and falling onto the ground. You winced, he picked himself up and continued running.

“Why’d you do it?” Kie interrogated you the moment it was just the two of you. “Why him? That’s seriously so messed up Y/n, he’s a fucking psychopath.”

You understood the anger, you could take the judgment from Sarah and John B, and the puppy dog glances full of hurt by Pope who couldn’t believe you would betray his friendship. You could even handle the shit JJ gave you for fucking the guy he cannot stand and would probably kill if ever given the chance, but Kie?

“I know, Kiara, I know he is- it just happened.”

“Like what the hell was going through your head, honestly?” Her tone was full of condescension, “That’s just another thing he could hold over you. Did you seriously think we wouldn’t find out? Or that you could keep this from us forever? I’m your best friend!”

“Oh my god, shut the fuck up!” You blurted out without being able to stop yourself. “I know, I know, I know! He’s a psychopath, he sent John B to jail, he fucked the group up too many times to count- he’s a shitty fucking person but he loved me!”

You didn’t want to believe the words that you had shouted at her, but you said it, it was out.

“He was there, and he is obviously toxic as hell but I saw something in him that I thought…” This was going to be embarrassing to admit. “I thought I could help him be better, he acted like he could be like he would- but I guess I was just desperate to think so because of all the bullshit he fed me when we were alone.”

Kie held a bewildered expression, but she openly listened.

“It happened once, it was sort of a long time coming with what we had going on but we weren’t in a relationship- I genuinely meant to help him be better. Clearly, I failed, and everything went to shit but there’s your explanation Kiara. I don’t need one more person- much less you, telling me that I’m fucked up for doing what I did when I’ve already had this conversation with myself too many times to count.”

She frowned and nodded, “I’m sorry.”

You felt like a small weight had been lifted, one down- four more to go. With perfect timing, JJ was walking back but with a taller older figure behind him. Luke. Since when was he out of jail?

Kie walked out of the truck, “No, Immediately no.”

“Just get in the truck, Y/n get in the front passenger,” He instructed as he put the tools needed in the trunk.

Without a word, you walked out of the back cabin and went into the passenger seat as Luke slid into your old seat. He winked at you with a smile, you shivered with disgust, Kie argued with JJ.

“Guys!” You yelled for their attention. “The Twinkie is sinking, what the hell are we doing?”

~~~

JJ made Kie stop at a corner store near the marina where he was to drop his dad off, you and Kie sent each other expressions of distaste as Luke sat in the back, he was just as ADHD as JJ. He tapped on the back of your seats, making as much noise as possible for attention that you and Kie were not giving him.

“You’re a terrible father, you know that?” Kie spoke.

“Preach it to me,” He leaned back into his seat, finally stopping his incessant noise.

“You don’t deserve him,” You chimed. “Not an inch of how amazing he is.”

“He’s a thief is what he is.”

Ire burned through you, you had millions of words to describe how you wanted Luke Maybank to rot in hell.

“And what are you?” Kie retorted. “You’re just a wasted local salt who never did shit but get messed up and hustle people, not exactly impressive.”

“You sound just like your mama,” He told Kie. “She was just like that in high school, always thought she was better than everybody else. Kook princess- and looky here, you're just like her slumming it with the bad boys, and the princess of pogues here pretending she won’t grow up to be trash just like her daddy.”

Kie snapped and elbowed Luke in his nose, knocking him back, “Don’t talk about my family.”

Pride surged in you, you wanted to laugh, you’ve been wanting to do that for years, and although it was Kie who got the satisfaction, watching it happen felt just as good. JJ came not a minute after, handing him a 6-pack of beer, and getting in the back with him.

~~~

JJ practically dragged Luke out of the truck, you called his dad's attention, and you and Kie had your middle fingers up. He went to react but JJ turned him around telling him to go. You and Kie giggled, calming down after a minute.

“You think he’ll be okay?” You worried over JJ dropping his dad off.

“He’ll pretend to be, for sure.”

“I’m gonna go check on him in a minute,” You told her with a frown, she gave you a half smile.

After a couple of minutes, you walked along the dock over to where he stood, watching the boat his dad drifted off in.

He saw you and immediately engulfed you in a hug, you didn’t have time to process before wrapping your arms around his middle. You whispered into your hair, “I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry.”

You felt droplets fall onto your shoulder, your arm went underneath his aviator jacket and traced the line of his spine with light tickles. Who knows what his dad’s final words were to him, how hurt he must feel. 

“JJ,” You took a small step back from his arms, cradling his face in your hands. “It’s okay, you're gonna be okay, we’re okay.”

He shook his head and pulled you back in, clutching you tighter, “I didn’t mean to snap on you. I was just scared I’d lose you to that kook." 

He squeezed you after a minute, "You know you’re my girl right?”

You just let him hold you, and tell you sweet nothings if that’s what made him feel better, nodding along as he kissed your temple. He seemed to hold himself up as you walked back with his arm around your shoulders.

~~~

“Oh look, the three tortoises are back!” You heard Pope comment through the open window of the truck. “Where the hell were you guys?”

You observed the three you left behind, John B lay in a weird position on his right- grimacing.

“Luke was at the Chateau,” JJ reached into the pickup bed grabbing what was needed.

“Great, while you guys were there having family time, John B got bit by a gator!”

“What?” You went over to him and ran your eyes over his body to see where he got bit. You saw blood smeared on the side of the Twinkie.

“What the hell happened?” Kie exclaimed. Immediately getting shouted at by Sarah, John B, and Pope. “I don’t why I’m being yelled at, I put my ass on the line.”

“You’re being yelled at because it was 20 minutes!”

“We got here as fast as we could!” You defended Kie.

Pope sent you a furious look, “Let’s not start on what you’ve been up to while everybody’s been put through hell!”

Words were said, voices were raised, and everyone was agitated. The five of you verbally fought amongst yourselves until JJ called out at the top of his voice for you all to stop.

“Seriously guys, I can’t take it anymore, alright- everyone just cut it out for a second.” He chuckles, leaning against a tree to steady himself, “Look, I just helped my dad leave this island for good like he’s not ever coming back. He’s straight up like the Spanish- just ‘Bon Voyage’”

Not the right language, you and Kie gave each other puzzled looks but everyone stayed silent nonetheless.

“All we got and I know for a fact all I got is you guys, okay? You’re it” He stared directly at you as he said it. “I’ve come too close to losing you, all of you. So, this blaming each other is some kook-ass bullshit, we don’t do that, we’re Pogues. Sorry, that was a lot right now… I didn’t mean to.” His hands were on his hips and he avoided everyone’s gaze after his speech.

The group looked as though to be in agreement, giving JJ a round of applause.

“That was the best freaking speech I’ve ever heard,” John B praised. “Also, you should think about getting a Rosetta Stone because your Spanish and French are flip-flopped.” JJ flipped him off.

Sarah raised her hand, “We should bon voyage out of here.”

JJ and John B attached the Twinkie to the back of Kie’s dad's truck, hauling it out of the water in no time and the pogues were off to the church.

~~~

Birds fluttered away from the door the boys had forced open. The church had been abandoned, long long ago, vines had grown through the cracks in the floorboards and around the windows.

Pope insisted the cross was here, and JJ joked about there being a secret button around the piano.

“How about we find obvious clues?” John B advises, but there wasn’t much to look for.

“It’s not an escape room,” Kie rolled her eyes.

Pope was on the verge of a break when John B doubted the cross was in the church. “No, no. There’s no way he would set us up on a freaking goose chase that would lead us to a church that has nothing in it.”

“Yes, I get it, I don’t know what to tell you, man.”

“The clues led us here, the cross is in this church,” Pope slumped down a pew. He fiddled with the spyglass and looked through it, pointing it at the ceiling. With a conspiratorial gaze at the wooden beams supporting the roof, Pope climbed on the walls through the termite-eaten holes.

You, JJ, Kie, Sarah, and John B warned him about the dangers of climbing, but he wasn’t listening. He ignored all of you and knocked on all the beams to hear if one of them was hollow.

You noticed a bee hive above his head, “Pope, just move slow- there’s a hive.”

Sarah left and came back with a crowbar to help Pope who was tearing up the wood on one of the beams that turned out to be hollow with his hands. With the metal in his hand, he tore all the pieces til it revealed the golden cross.

Cheers went all around, Sarah and Kie brought you into a group hug, and John B and JJ had their arms around each other. Pope accidentally dropped the crowbar from excitement, the glory of victory of short-lived as bees swarmed Pope. He slipped, holding himself on the supporting beam, the group worked in unison to move the pews and find anything that could break Pope’s fall.

Just as he landed, the cross came down after him. 

~~~

Chapter 19

Taglist:

@jbassettjmaybank - @deanwherescas - @thtbwltts - @nerdypartytrashpsychic - @random-girl-army - @wisegirlies - @instabull - @sexyfoxlady - @bubs-world - @sdawn03 - @mendesclines - @obx-pogues-4-life - @mentalforfics - @p-prettybitch - @namacissi - @dczedhee - @inkandpen22 - @royalavenger - @ayeitsjustmee - @80strashbag - @onlyangel-444 - @freds-slut - @poppet05 - @itsjuststaticnoises - @ahnneyong - @lovepizza567 - @jasminfelling - @rana03 - @loki-loveer - @rana030 - @lostinatimeline - @boldlypessimistic - @clinelyn - @a-j-stuffs - @yunhobug - @syd223sworld - @strawberry--fawn - @mysticalavenuecheesecake - @itsmytimetoodream - @natashtessabeth12 - @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles

(If your name is crossed that means tumblr wont let me tag you)

[phoenix-manga]

Ottilie Phosia

CV: Mizuki

Biographical Information

Gender: Female

Age: 16

Birthday: April 5

Starsign: Aries

Height: 175 cm

Eye Color: Bubblegum

Hair Color: Cornflower & Lavender

Professional Status

Dorm: Futterwacken

School Year: 1st Year

Class: 1-A | Student no. 8

Occupation: Student

Club: Gardening Research Club

Best Subject: Alchemy

Fun Facts

Favorite Food: Hors d'oeuvres

Least Favorite Food: Eggplant

Dislikes: Heat and insecticides

Hobby: Collecting butterfly eggs

Talents: Perfume alchemy

Idol Stats

Performance: Voice fit for musical and can recite tongue twisters in a song

Choreography: Often performs in the style of irish tap dancing

Styling Jewel Outfits: Quirky | Elegant

She may have the typical ojou-sama personality with proper manners and etiquette; however, her whimsical attitude is often mixed in. She can’t read the atmosphere sometimes and ends up making things confusing or awkward.

But she is helpful when it comes to studying. All her mind-blowing way of phrasing often get stuck in someone’s head, her parent’s tutoring her also contributed to that.

She definitely would be one of those who would say mind blowing things like “Why call them apartments when they’re built together?” 

Ottilie will probably end up eating weird things in the forest if left by herself. She can’t help but want to eat something very colorful, so someone always has to stop her before anything happens. She always says that she is doing it for discovery, no honey, the medical books states that is NOT edible, you don’t need to discover if it can kill you or not!

Though a lot of her friends and relatives thought she’d be a professor like her parents, she actually wants to make perfumes in the future. She has a home-made pipette that she brought from home to make a variety of scents and fragrances. Her side of the room always has a lot of scented things kept in boxes such as candles, perfume, scented paper, incense sticks and many more.

Whenever she makes a fragrance, she always has colorful smoke swirling around her, sometimes she can make fragrances that form shapes from the smoke when used. That’s because she incorporates her magic along with magical herbs into them.

Hometown: Kingdom of Roses

Family History

Ottilie lives in the Kingdom of Roses, her parents are both professors of a school and they teach philosophy and mathematics. The entire family is an odd bunch, always living by the Hatter’s philosophy and would all quote odd poetry that doesn’t make much sense to others other than themselves. 

Her family may be a bit odd but they are well respected for having so many students to sign up for their classes and getting good grades. They are also of nobility so they are always invited to gatherings and parties.

Ottilie was just as whimsical as her parents, which often made her stick out among other children. But it’s not like anyone could say anything when Ottilie was more well-behaved than most children.

Childhood Memories

Ottilie once experienced the cruelty of nature when she released a wild rabbit she fostered when it was injured, just a few meters away a Hawk flew down and snatched it. She cried for a week and even made a crude drawing of the rabbit and placed it on a fake grave her parents made just to make her feel better. Her parents won’t let her live it down and would always tell guests and friends about it, Ottilie is embarrassed from being reminded.

Ottilie tends to be a bit unpredictable when it comes to incantations and alchemy. She is never one to follow the rules and tends to go into a different direction. It always ends with a chaotic scenario… mostly scent related.

Despite her mishaps, she doesn’t struggle with most of her subjects thanks to her parents who were both teachers. But not a lot of students ask for her notes despite her excellent academic skills because… all of her notes are indecipherable. Littered with riddles and scribbles that make no sense to none other than Ottilie.

Squeaks

Her pet is a Hickory Horned Devil Caterpillar that makes a lot of squeaking noises. Ottilie has a terrarium purse to always carry Squeaks around in.

Unlike other animal companions, Squeaks cannot be heard talking even by other animals oddly enough. But Ottilie can understand his squeaking as if they were words with no problem.

Squeaks is just as odd as his owner. Like a synchronized being, Squeaks gestures when Ottilie gestures.

Her unique magic is called, “Shroomy Sprout”. Just by touching a patch of dirt, she can grow mysterious mushrooms with a variety of effects.

Every mushroom always changes from every little thing she does such as what food she ate, how she felt and even if she was sick. The mushrooms don’t stay there for long and will disappear in a puff of smoke after 10 minutes if not used. 

Ottilie tends to use these mushrooms to make special perfumes that have different after effects depending on what mushroom she used. This type of perfume is not all that popular due to its unpredictability. They were probably used for pranks by a certain someone.

Ignacio Phosia

A Mathematics professor who is fascinated with numbers so much that he arranged his belongings in a certain amount if one plays close attention. His study is his perfectly counted space, he doesn’t like it if the number of items is in disarray. So, he is the only on who can clean his study and no one can enter without permission.

He manages the house budget of course due to his love for numbers. Many would often consult him about finances despite his eccentric personality. Ignacio is quite friendly and outgoing.

But despite being seen with a goofy grin, his smile turns into a scowl if his family is insulted in any way. Other than numbers, he can count the number of flaws and failures of a person had he wanted to. Fear the nice ones, as they say.

Ottilie often gives him perfume, bottled herbs and caterpillar eggs as gifts. Ignacio keeps them in in his study in the highest shelf where you could see but not reach.

Calix Phosia

She was known to be a popular woman who was often sought out by bachelors to wed. But she fell for Ignacio for being whimsical instead of vying for her status and reputation. She just loved how absurd he was and being such a gentleman on top of that.

She was the one who reads poems to Ottilie when she was a child. Which is how Ottilie developed a certain love for the whimsical wonders.

The character’s name, “Ottilie” came from a Google search for the most unique sounding names, while her last name, “Phosia” was made up from the word metamorphosis.

Ottilie’s first design was confusing. The pigtail-curl hairstyle was hard to draw repeatedly.

She was meant to be the weird one of the first-year group. She was supposed to have a butterfly as a pet but instead was given the largest caterpillar, the Hickory Horned Devil.

[borderlinebox]

I saw your requests were open for Valentine's (or regular) stuff; could I possibly request Chishiya revealing he likes reader by giving them some kind of gift on Valentine's day, in his usual, logical Chishiya way? And could reader be portrayed as short (around 5'3"), shy, with a mild temper? Can be gender neutral and pre or post Borderland, if not that's okay too, but I thought I wouldn't hurt to ask!

‣ Present

pairing ; chishiya x reader | warning ; not proofread!, fluff, location/timeline is generalized!, short, two idiots pining, awkwarf yet cute confession, mildly ooc!Chishiya | a/n ; i didnt know what to do with the ending but i think it's still cute!thanks for requesting anon! requests are still open!♥

feedback is appreciated!!!

"Here." Chishiya muttered bluntly, not even bothering to look at you as he raised his arm, the other in his pocket, and handed you something in the grasp of his hands.

You have been friends with Chishiya for a while now, you can't remember how long but you already understood how he works and how he processes information. And this was rarely out of character of him. But you didn't dare to say anything.

He looked towards your opposite direction, not allowing you to see the cute pout on his usually nonchalant face. "Take it before I change my mind."

Immediately, you took the weirdly nicely-wrapped present and fumbled with it before he may do true to his word.

The box was beautifully wrapped with an adoring piece of gift wrapping paper for Valentines - Mostly red decorated with small white hearts all over. Even the ribbon was white and elegantly tied.

True, you were astonished by his gesture and the perfect looking present - which shouldn't exactly bother you cause, come on, it's Chishiya. He practically makes perfect handmade weaponry. Aside from that, you were still quite shocked.

"Thank you..?" You hesitated, confused. It sounded meek and small.

Untying the cream colored ribbon, you opened the lid to the gift box and was surprisingly gifted with..

A math equation.

Your brows furrowed as a cute perplexed look came onto your face. You decided to flip the equation upside down even though you kind of already expected that nothing would come out of it. It wasn't even that one infamous 'i <3 u' quote.

Before you could even speak, Chishiya turned around and took the piece of paper out of your hold. He took a red pen out of his jacket and uncapped it before beginning to flip the card and draw.

There seemed to be an empty graph at the back of the paper.

"You see, n/n.." He started and drew some kind of curve. "The equation into a graph line looks like this."

Chishiya handed you the card, seemingly impressed with himself, being the cocky bastard that he is as he placed the cap back onto the pen with a satisfying click.

Still confused, you took the paper out of his hands, box completely forgotten as you unknowingly held it in your other hand. Once you saw the graph, you couldn't hold back the small 'Awh' that threatened to escape your throat.

A bright smile came to your fave as you admired the red ink.

The graph formed a heart.

"I guess I.." Chishiya glances away again. You look at his silence and notice that he wants to say something, a look you were all too familiar with of which you recognized as yourself.

This time, you were gonna take the lead. If he broke character than so should you, for at least this once.

"I think it's lovely." You smiled sweetly, coaxing him to say or look at you with just those words of affirmation. Fingers held the card close to your chin, almost covering your mouth in anxiety. "Is this a..?"

You gestured at the card, wanting to confirm it's purpose.

"It doesn't have to be.."

"It is. It is.. what it is." Chishiya nodded his head with confirmation, brave enough to tell you so but not yet enough to really tell you what it really is. "A card. On Valentine's Day."

You gave him a quick and nervous nod before glancing away and finding the right words to say, afraid of what he would think if you didn't choose the right ones. With a bead of sweat later, you gathered the courage to muster up to the bleach blonde.

Chishiya understood and knew you were intelligent as well, maybe not as much as him, but you were smarter than average. He just clinged onto that shred of hope that you knew what he was saying.

And he was internally pleased to hear those words he needed to hear come out of your mouth.

"I, I like you too."

[soul-sparx]

Guilty Gear XX Accent Core Plus R tierlist ranked by how each character treats A.B.A

Based on their win-quotes against A.B.A

Reasoning under the cut

Niceys :) <333333

Sol Badguy

"Well, at least you've got a strong head."

It isn't much, but remember that this is Sol we're talking about. He is blunt, brutally honest, and a bit mean in general. He does not give out compliments lightly. Even a slightly sarcastic one like this means A.B.A has impressed him, and he conveys that well.

Ky Kiske

"You should tend to your wounds properly. Especially if you're a woman."

The "especially if you're a woman" thing is a little weird, but reads more like misplaced chivalry than anything. The point here is that he is concerned about her wellbeing, hoping for her to take care of herself.

Faust

"Your prescription is…to learn about society. That is all."

He has examined her through battle, and his conclusion is that there isn't anything wrong with her. He wishes her well, and hopes for her to come out of her shell.

Axl Low

"What an original and sexy fashion sense! How exciting!"

Self-explanatory. He just thinks she's super hot.

Kliff Undersn

"Your injuries look grave. Are you all right? Hmm..That axe looks familiar... Have I seen it somewhere before?"

He's worried about her, and wants to make sure he didn't hurt her too hard. He's also interested in Paracelsus, likely remembering his days in the crusades as the Sanguine Gale. He's just being a nice old man :)

Johnny

"You should learn to communicate from my band of merry thieves. Come on…"

He offers her a position in the Jellyfish Pirates! He does this in the story mode as well! He barely knows her, but he wants to help her out the only way he knows how! What a kind dude!

Venom

"Guild members are required to learn a certain degree of interpersonal skills. Perhaps you could benefit from the same training?"

Much like how Johnny offers to let her join the Jellyfish Pirates, Venom offers to let her join the Assassin's Guild to help her out! He is nice :)

Dizzy

"I don't know how to say this…but we could be good friends! Don't you think?"

She wants to be friends!!!!! She's so sweet!!!!!!!!

Slayer

"Flament Nagel and an artificial life-form, hmmm? I find your story quite interesting!"

It's a bit nonpersonal, but he is interested in A.B.A and wants to learn more. I can only imagine them chatting over a couple glasses of blood :)

Bridget

"Nice! You'd definitely get a lot of money with that talking key!"

Her first thought is on money, but still. She thinks Paracelsus is cool, and is super supportive of the two of them!

Zappa

"Eek! A woman's on the floor covered in blood and bandages! I gotta find a doctor Faust…err, fast!"

He's a little scared of her, but he still wants to help! What a sweetie

I-No

"Wouldn't you prefer something warm-blooded instead of that cold metal rod you have there?" "That thing's your husband? It looks like a big toy for such a little woman. Can you handle all of it? Haha! You have great taste in men!"

Look, I dunno how else to say it. I-No is just super DTF.

Neutral

A.B.A

"There's another artificial life-form besides me!? There was no record of it…"

More surprised than anything, no positive or negative feelings shown beyond that.

Order-Sol

"A homunculus, huh? Now that's rare."

Deeply impersonal, barely even interested. She's barely a curiosity for him.

Robo-Ky

"WHAT A SHAME, WHAT A SHAME. YOU'RE NEITHER HUMAN NOR ROBOT. PICK A SIDE!"

Considering A.B.A's quote for winning against him, I feel like there's potential for a friendship, but Robo seems more confused by A.B.A's existence than anything. There is some annoyance, but that seems more directed at the not-knowing than at A.B.A herself.

May

"What a big weapon you got there…isn't it heavy?"

May seems more interested in Paracelsus than A.B.A. She's a nice girl in general, so I think they could develop a friendship eventually, but it's off to kind of a weird start.

Potemkin

"…I'm not like you! Don't look at me like that!"

This is a little mean, but given how he treats her in story mode, I feel like it's more confusion and annoyance at the situation than at A.B.A herself. He just doesn't want people to think he's an artificial being.

Chipp Zanuff

"You really think I'd lose to someone who's injured!? Who do you think I am!?"

This is just Chipp being cocky as always. It could've been anyone, if he wins against anyone, he's gonna lord over them for a bit. He holds nothing against A.B.A specifically.

Eddie

"I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG THAT ARTIFICIAL ENERGY LASTS, SO I'LL LET YOU GO. FOR NOW."

This is probably about as nice as Eddie can be to anyone who isn't Zato, and it's still pretty limp. A.B.A is nothing but a potential body to him. He literally does not care one way or the other about her. There is no love, nor disdain.

Testament

"You also took the blood oath? Hmph, I guess not."

They're a little interested in her, perhaps thinking she's also a Gear. Once they realize she isn't, they lose interest. Perhaps modern Testament would be kinder to her, but as they were in ACPR, they just kind of don't care.

Jam Kuradoberi

"Your complexion is terrible! Blood transfusion pack? My food's much better for your health."

She starts with an insult, but then offers to help, so it's less neutrality and more a situation of both the good and the bad. I think Jam is just a weirdo.

Mean to her!!!!!!!

Millia Rage

"You should learn some manners before seeking knowledge. I suggest you go home."

The least mean mean thing someone says to her, it's still clear Millia has no patience for A.B.A. How rude.

Baiken

"You're such a pain. I hate people that just sneak around in the shadows."

MEAN TO HER!!!!!!!!

Justice

"Accursed homunculus! It's ridiculous that the gate will open with just that. I hope you wander in the darkness eternally."

This is so personal and rude, Justice fuckin' hates A.B.A and for no reason. Kill this woman NOW!!!!!!!!!

Anji Mito

"Stand straight and speak louder, will you? Just looking at you drives me nuts."

What did she ever do to you, huh? Kill this man NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

[avonne-writes]

daemon puts the chastity belt on luke BUT hes also a woke girldad so he just gives luke the key

luke still lets aemond fuck around trying to come up with elaborate engineering schemes to open it like an idiot because its funny

This just keeps getting better! 😄

Edit: I caved in and also posted this on AO3 🙈

Luke is pinned to the sheets in Aemond's bed, his lips buzzing from the tide of clumsy, possessive kisses Aemond has been pressing to them since their clandestine rendez-vous started. He's already shirtless, with his golden pendant flopping around on his chest, when Aemond finally notices it. The intricately designed belt under Luke's smallclothes, a beautiful bronze.

His expression is priceless as he pushes Luke’s remaining clothes away - wide-eyed, gaping confusion. There's a small furrow between his brows as if he can't believe that he's being denied right there in the gate of pleasure. Laughter bubbles in Luke's lungs but he swallows it down with great effort. He doesn't wear the belt often, only when he believes that Aemond might try to take him, and the night has come at last.

"What trickery is this?" Aemond grunts, pawing at the device from all directions but unable to find a padlock to break. With good reason - Daemon had it made by Dragonstone's best locksmith. Only the best for his beloved family.

Luke fakes a crushed expression. "It's Daemon's way to ensure that my virtue remains intact until my betrothal."

"Virtue?" Aemond mumbles, a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Not without reason, to be fair, given how many times they have kissed in dark, hidden alcoves around the castle. But Luke likes to play coy.

He pretends to be affronted. "Do you not think me untouched?"

Aemond leans down and follows a trail with his lips up from Luke's chest to his ear. "I don't." He chuckles, a sound that makes Luke shudder from want. "I've touched you before."

Luke pushes him away. "Not the way you wish to now."

Aemond sits back on his haunches, a light flush on his cheeks. His pale chest is bruised from a hard day in the training yard. Luke imagines pressing on those purpling shadows while he moves astride Aemond's cock, just to make him hiss and growl. A plan for later. "How am I to destroy this torture device then?"

Luke smiles like the sweetest sunshine that would melt even the most austere of lords. Aemond looks riveted by his light. "Well." He bites his lip, stroking the skin around his pendant. "You'll need to open it or force it apart."

The look Aemond gives Luke’s belt then is sharp as a wolf's on a prowl. He runs his palms over it again, pressing on each decorative carving, then turns Luke this way and that to have a better view. When he wedges his fingers under the waist of it and tries to pull, a vein throbbing on his forehead, Luke splutters a laugh.

"I'm ticklish." He rushes to explain before Aemond catches on.

Aemond ignores him, more focused on his task than on Luke, getting lost in his determination. He tries to squish Luke's soft thigh to make it fit through the gap, then realizes that the belt is stuck on Luke's hips and not his legs. Frustrated, he growls and jumps off the bed to root around in his chambers.

Luke stretches, smirking, playing with his pendant.

"Have you given up already? I thought you wanted me with the heat of dragonfire." He quotes the words Aemond purred to him in his foolish lust. "Perhaps I shall give Ser Corwyn a chance, I heard that he's skilled with metal."

Aemond is on him in an instant. "I'll sooner feed him his own intestines than let him steal what’s mine."

Luke's poor, confined cock throbs. He knots a hand in Aemond's ruffled hair and drags him down into a kiss. "You’d better hurry then. We only have until the morrow, and the future is uncertain. It may lead me to Ser Corwyn's arms after all."

"It will not." Aemond growls, then bites Luke's nipple, possessive and cruel, until Luke moans. It's to leave a mark, Luke knows, glad that he forbade Aemond to paint his neck with them.

A thumb rubs over the sore flesh almost as an apology. "Stay put."

Aemond steps away again. He picks up various tools he finds around his room and tries to pry Luke's belt off with them, failing every time. Luke's amusement is the sparkling wine from Pentos he and Jace drank that one time. He can't help but giggle every now and then as Aemond struggles. At one point, he just lies back and smiles up at the ceiling, the skin-warm gold around his neck resting on his lips.

It's only when he hears the sound of a sword being drawn that he sits up in alarm. "What are you doing?"

There's sweat on Aemond's forehead and a new bruise on his hand from one of his failed attempts, and his gaze seems manic. His fingers flex around the weapon in his right. "Let us see which is the stronger metal. I will not be defeated by that cursed contraption."

"Wait!" Luke exclaims, holding out his arms. When Aemond blinks, he beckons him closer and sits him down, stroking his bare chest and shoulders until he calms. He kisses Aemond's temple, then his eyelids, and when the look Aemond gives him once again becomes dazed and filled with desire, he curls Aemond's fingers around the golden pendant Daemon gave him all those months ago.

"Let me help you, uncle."

[libbee]

Venus in 8th house & relationship trauma

How many lovers have you had and how many did not give you trauma? When did you start dating, btw?

When it comes to venus in 8th, what comes to my mind is a sex magnet, obsessive and devotional. Stop losing yourself in your lover's hands. There is a desire to merge with and consume their lover. The best way I can think of to describe is like cellular fusion in biology:

Reference: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karyogamy

There is a lot of intense energy looking for an outlet. If not romance, she will direct this energy in spirituality. But before she will know her spiritual gifts, she will go through relationship trauma.

It can be seen that the most traumatizing lovers were similar to each other. I met the first one at age 13 and next one at 21. Both were similar in appearance & life identity. The first one ruined my teenage years. The last one gave me mental breakdown. Both these "lovers" were the most traumatizing points in my life. I was OBSESSED with both of them. Both were "secretive" and I met them in dark ways suddenly without warning. Both were predatory and manipulative. I idolized them both and put them on a pedestal. I did a lot of ego massage & codependent wife like treatment.

In my mom's bloodline, there is history of mental issues and emotional chaos. When I was 13, I hardly knew anything about life. But when I was 21, my life had evolved and I had a career, family life, hobbies. But I was infantile in the sense that I was impulsive and irrational. I could not stand being single and was OBSESSED with romantic relationships. This trauma was an opportunity to heal my generational trauma & psychological inheritance.

After my mental breakdown, I came across this content:

Some quotes from this book:

Romantic love always consists in the projection of the soul-image. When a woman falls in love it is animus that she sees projected onto the mortal man before her.

No aspect of the human psyche can live in a healthy state unless it is balanced by its complementary opposite. If the masculine mind tries to live without its “other half,” the feminine soul, then the masculine becomes unbalanced, sick, and finally monstrous. Power without love becomes brutality. Feeling without masculine strength becomes woolly sentimentality. When one side of human nature grows out of balance with the other, it becomes a tyranny in the soul.

One of the great paradoxes in romantic love is that it never produces human relationship as long as it stays romantic. It produces drama, daring adventures, wondrous, intense love scenes, jealousies, and betrayals; but people never seem to settle into relationship with each other as flesh-and-blood human beings until they are out of the romantic love stage, until they love each other instead of being “in love".

Jung once quoted a medieval alchemist who said, “Only what is separated may be properly joined.” When two things are muddled together they need to be separated, distinguished, and untangled so that they may later be rejoined in a workable synthesis. This is the correct meaning of “analysis” in psychology; to analyze is to separate out the entangled threads of one’s inner life—the confused values, ideals, loyalties, and feelings—so that they may be synthesized in a new way. We analyze romantic love, not to destroy it, but to understand what it is and where it belongs in our lives. Analysis must always serve synthesis in order to serve life; what is taken apart must be put back together again.

I unlearned all the default things I learned growing up. It was a complete rebirth in the sense of 8th house transformation. The source of my romance obsession was a deep need for self actualization and spirituality. It was a need for looking within and understanding "myself". I talk about "high value woman" but I automatically became a high value woman once I started self actualizing. I was more confident, more assertive, more stable, in control of my emotions, took time to read books, rationalized my feelings rather than be impulsive, analyzed my values, beliefs, character, flaws, failures, weaknesses. I know my insecurities and know how to handle them. It was a journey from a fucked up person to somewhat rational person. I still have my days of chaos but it gets managed.

This is what I suppose 8th house venus looks like. Self destruction and self development. However, is this the last time we go through this.......