#(even tho i also do think he would be perfect for the role)
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this-doesnt-endd · 8 months ago
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I used to have a really giant family like tons of tias and tios and cousins and i say used to cause like it seems like after my grandparents died on both sides both families seemed to never speak again and i had no chance to even try and keep hold of those ties i was in elementary school watching my parents marriage crash and burn in real time dealing with major death in the family and then subsequent family abandoning me at the tender age of 11. Hell my brothers were older and jumped ship it was just me and the horrors
#my moms dad and my dads mom were like the heads of their families and they both died really close to each other#but my grandma and a tio on my moms side died within 3 days of each other after being in hospice literally 3 doors away from each other#for months and my parents both took the roles of like taking care of everything and being the descision makers cause no one else would#which im sure was super traumatizing in everyway possible but their siblings both seemed to resent them in ways#when they didnt want to be those people but had to be and they arent even the oldest siblings they are both like 3rd youngest#but like it just ruined the families and me and mom and my dad were all at the hospital or hospice center for months#we were there every day and night i remember it so much i can get anywhere in any hospital in my town using the stairwells#like i knew them that well#it also likely ruined my parents marriage which was bumpy before the intense major tragedy#which like yaknow what fair it was a lot to deal with ontop of like trying to crawl ur way out of the recession#but after all was said and done i talk to no one on my dads side i bearly talk to my older brother#and i talk to like my nina and two tias on my moms side and occassionally a few cousins#when theyre arent being fucking insane and unhinged#idk i loved having a huge family the like going to 5 houses on christmas type#going to birthdays or weddings and seeing everyone taking at least 45 mins to say bye to everyone#and now its gone and i wont ever get it back#and its by no fault of my own cause i was literally 11 and every adult decided i was gonna pay the price too#like i think abt when i get married its not gonna be what i thought itd be or when i get my first movie in theatres#im not gonna have the major family celebration ill have all my friends which im so greafull for#but its not the same yaknow#and id love to have that relatiomship with my family again but like where do u start when its been over 10+ years#like they remember 11 year old me if they remember me#and thats part of the problem#like on my moms side specifically i have some family who acts like theyve never met me before when i used to see them every weekend#and it was a major failing on my part as an 11 year old for not keeping in touch even tho we did my mom calls everyone and she tried#but people didnt want to return it#and as for my dads side its the same and if it was a moral failing for me as an 11 yr old to not reach out and they didnt like my mom much#my grandma fucking loved her but the rest of the family didnt and like i lived w my mom and was fucking 11 i couldnt go anhwhere by myself#and i didnt like not being places without a parent and i hated sleepovers i refused and they took it so personal#and they stopped talking to my dad and bad mouthed him and still do nd ill never allow that around me my dad isnt perfect but hes a good man
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emiliosandozsequence · 2 years ago
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i talk about needing diego luna to be cast as emilio sandoz all the time, but....i just as badly need lee pace to be cast as hlavin kitheri.
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strwberri-milk · 4 months ago
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Hii could I maybe request the lads boys and sugar daddies 🤭🤭
It's okay if you don't tho I understand it's not something everyone is comfortable with :)
im understanding this as lads AS sugar daddies but also im like. thinking about it and these are gonna be kinda short bc i just dont see anybody really being a sugar daddy so these are. very general. fun fact - xaviers is based off a fic premise i never wrote
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Zayne definitely has the capital to be a sugar daddy and he's heard amongst the other doctors that there are some others who have arrangements. He judges them at first, thinking that it's not something he'd really think he's comfortable dealing with. He learns that things don't have to be purely sexual a night or two of him feeling extraordinarily lonely he decides maybe he could just see if he could find someone to spend time with.
Against his better judgement he meets you, someone who invigorates him mentally and enjoys spending his time with you. Your allowance is incredibly generous and you were expecting him to escalate with each nice dinner he takes you to but he's never made a move on you. He's a perfect gentleman and he makes sure you understand that all he wants from you is your time, however much it costs.
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The only way Xavier could end up in this situation is by pure accident. He downloads an app, thinking it was just a way to make friends online. He assumes that payments are for some sort of membership, swiping around until he finds your profile and decides to start chatting with you.
The two of you have a lot in common and when you two meet up for the first time you're glad that he looks a lot younger than you anticipated with the blurry profile photo and slightly outdated shorthand in texting. He sort of slips into the role in a similar manner, paying for your dinners and buying you things that remind him of you.
You don't really think he knows what he's become, especially since you don't receive a traditional allowance of money. You don't mind at all thankfully, fully accepting all of his gifts and meals in exchange for his companionship. Honestly, you don't look at him as a sugar daddy because of how casual everything is, cherishing his friendship as you get to know him.
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Rafayel totally does it as a whim. He decides to download an app for fun, not really into dating period. He doesn't like the way that people fawn over him, or try to pretend that they don't care he's rich despite insisting meeting at fancy restaurants and looking at him expectantly to foot the bill.
You agree to a date with Rafayel because not only is he famous, he's stupid pretty. You decide that spending time with him would definitely not be an awful thing to do. Your first date is formal and you try to wow him with knowledge of his paintings. He doesn't seem very interested but the two of you seem to get along, thankfully.
Over time the two of you become more friendly, Rafayel letting his walls down more as the two of you become more honest with each other. He's very kind with his money and you're paid very generously. He finally has a sort of friend outside of Thomas and genuinely likes bugging you, you not minding the extra attention he gives you in addition to the money you're paid.
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Sylus is constantly fighting off people trying to flirt with him to enter some sort of arrangement. He exudes both wealth and power so of course people are going to be obsessed with him. He usually brushes them all off, not caring, honestly.
He happens to come across you during an evening of drinking. You're trying to flirt with him, not knowing anything about him other than you think he's a very attractive man. He knows that you don't know him with how forward you are, touching and batting your lashes at him flirtatiously.
He ends up deciding to buy you some drinks and the two of you talk well into the night. He gives you his number to talk to him again, telling you that he'd make sure it was worth your time. When you get home that night you find a package addressed to you. A beautiful set of clothes and jewels that fit you perfectly along with an invitation for an event in the week.
This becomes standard for the two of you and you love it. Being on his arm prevents Sylus from getting accosted from people that are desperate for his attention and you're constantly spoiled by his money. You both benefit, growing closer with each other over time.
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slytherinshua · 3 months ago
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MY HEART RETURNS
summary. your love is pursuing his dreams as a violinmaker in italy, leaving you to wait for his return. genre. slight angst. fluff. based on whisper of the heart. warnings. some crying. reader feels lost and alone and like she's not good enough :( not proofread. pairing. zhanghao x fem!reader. wc. 1.3k. request. no. a/n. tiánxīn = sweetheart btw. ofc hao is already perfect for the role of seiji cause he plays violin (also he looks like seiji fight me). for all the other writers out there (even tho i don't ever plan to get properly published) we all relate to shizuku so much :') her struggles are so relatable and i just love whisper of the heart so much i think its such a beautiful and underrated ghibli movie. divider by @/aquazero.
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The night air nipped at your cheeks as thoughts swirled in your head. Hundreds of worries, feelings, and uncertainties followed you wherever you went, and all you could wish was to be back in high school when everything felt a bit easier. Back with Hao to occupy all your thoughts and in turn take your mind off of everything.
Sometimes you wondered if waiting was really worth it. You were doing your best to pursue your dreams, do well in your final year of university, and throw yourself and your work at different publishers, hoping that one liked you enough to give you a chance. But you felt like a constant failure in comparison to your boyfriend. You’d always thought opportunities were more beneficial than school. Hao only seemed to prove that to you.
He was working in Italy, getting valuable skills from the masters. You were still stuck in your hometown, going to the same university everyone else in your family had gone to, trapped in the same system. You wanted to get out, prove yourself, do something meaningful with your life. But did you even have the talent to? Were you even worth it?
On nights where your thoughts just wouldn’t leave you alone, you grabbed a handful of Hao’s letters and walked up the hill back to the spot where you used to watch the sunrise with him. You missed him more than anything. Without his presence, you felt lost. There was no one to ground you, no one to reassure you, no one to believe in your flimsy dreams.
You hadn’t received a new letter in a while, and you were starting to wonder if it was a post issue, or if Hao was too busy to write. You hoped you would get one soon. It was the start of Winter already, and a breeze blew past you, causing a chill to run up your spine. You hugged Hao’s old jacket closer on your body. It must be even colder in Italy…
You slid one of the old letters out from its envelope. You were always careful to keep everything intact. From the colourful wax seals to the elegantly written address, to the coarse texture of the fancy paper, everything about it was precious to you. Hao was always meticulous, and his presence could be felt from every detail of the card.
Tiánxīn, how are things back at home? Lonely. 
How is your writing? Did you finish the last 3 chapters you were struggling to write? I finished the final draft last Saturday. Are you proud of me?
I’m doing well here, although I never stop missing you. At least one feeling is mutual. 
It’s the beginning of Spring as I write this, and the flowers are starting to bloom. Every pink bud reminds me of you. How are you always so romantic, Zhang Hao?
I taught some kids how to hold a violin properly the other day— one of them almost dropped it. I swear my life flashed before my eyes. If they had broken it, I could’ve gotten kicked out. They don’t know that they’re handling a piece of wood worth thousands of dollars. As much as it scared me in the moment, spending time with the kids cheered me up. Childhood innocence is an endearing thing, don’t you think? It is. Is it bad that I wished you had gotten kicked out just so I could see you sooner? I want you to tell me everything about Italy with your own voice.
I’m starting to find beauty in things that used to annoy me. It’s a strange feeling, but I think I could get used to it. The flowers used to only make me sneeze, but now they’re a gentle reminder of who I’m living every day for. Children used to get on my nerves, but now I can only think of your baby pictures. I keep working hard every day hoping that I’ll get a break to come visit soon. I’ve been saving up for tickets. Hopefully before Winter, I’ll be back in your arms. It’s Winter now… I miss your arms around me.
Ever yours,
Hao
You could only sigh and blink back the tears that had formed on your waterline. Why did he make you miss him so much? You sniffed, from the emotions and from the cold. It was getting even later in the night, and while you didn’t want to leave your special spot, you also needed sleep.
When you got back to your cheap apartment, you sprayed some of Hao’s perfume on your pillow and changed into pyjamas. It was funny how much time went into hunting for the exact fragrance he wore; but you had been thankful for it every single day since you bought it. Any way you could to bring traces of him back to your home was worth it. You fell asleep hugging the pillow tightly and hoping that he would grace you in your dreams. 
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A soft puff of air hit your nose making you scrunch it up. It woke you out of your slumber, but not enough to open your eyes yet. You were in a confused bleary state trying to figure out where it came from. You definitely didn’t leave the fan on in the middle of Winter, so why…?
“Tiánxīn, wake up.” 
You blinked your eyes open slowly, furrowing your eyebrows as the view came into focus. Light from the morning sun shone through the window, cascading down until it hit the side of a face. Hao’s face.
“Am I still dreaming?” You whispered. A lump formed in your throat at the thought that you were— you must be. How could he be right in front of you? He was still far away in Italy.
He shook his head, a smile splayed on his lips. He moved closer, his weight dipping down on the bed. You could only stare, memorising everything about him. His eyelashes fluttered as his gaze dropped to your hand and he reached to hold it. His hands were warm and the skin of his palm was soft, although his fingertips were roughened by calluses after years of playing strings. He cupped your cheek with his other hand, brushing his thumb against your skin.
“I missed you. I’m sorry it took so long for me to come visit.” He frowned slightly as he saw tears start to build in your eyes. You squeezed his hand, as if still deciphering whether he was actually real. It had truly been years since he had first gone for his apprenticeship and then got accepted full time to make violins and teach. Although you had communicated through letters, it could never compare to being with him like this. 
“It’s okay.” You tried to steady your voice, force the lump in your throat down, blink back the tears. But you couldn’t with him right there.
“Don’t cry.” He wiped your tears carefully, his touch soft as always.
“Kiss me. Please?” 
And he obliged. He would always do anything within his power to see you happy. If you told him one day to fly to the moon and bring you back a piece of it, he was sure he would find a way, just to see you smile. The feeling of kissing him again was indescribable. You’d forgotten how it felt to be kissed by his soft lips, how they melded with yours like a dream. As if you two were meant to be.
You knew you always were. Your love story, although it sometimes felt tragic, was like something out of a fairytale. You would never forget the lengths Hao went just to get your attention. How ambitious, determined, and caring he was. He was your constant motivation to keep striving to be better. 
It was hard to live for your dream while being so far apart from him. Part of you knew that he would have to go back. Maybe in a month, maybe in only a week. Maybe sooner than that. Your heart would break once again saying goodbye to him.
But, for now, as he kissed you in the morning sunlight on your bed, you felt your heart healing from his touch. The long years away from him were a small price to pay for moments as precious as these. 
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redxx95 · 6 months ago
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How Cherry Magic avoids romanticising self-sacrifice
Alright strap in boys, this is gonna be a long one.
Spoilers for the manga (mostly the english volumes but I will include a bit from vol 12. I'll mark it tho so yall may skip it if you don't want to be spoilered).
So in this one I want to examine how cherry magic does a great job at portraying self-sacrifice in a relationship as an actual flaw rather than a romantic ideal to aspire to. Very often you'll see characters in media putting their own needs aside for their lover. A lot of people will swoon at that because it is usually presented as proof of how dedicated they are to their partner and their wellbeing. (See... well the thai adaptation actually).
But what has pleasantly surprised me is how Toyota handles this in her manga.
Starting from the beginning, we all know the millions of things Kurosawa did for Adachi to get closer to him. After all, that is what's usually expected of him if we talk traditional gender roles. But one of the reasons Adachi even starts falling for Kurosawa is because of how he was for once able to do something for him.
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For someone with very low self-esteem, being able to help this super-capable perfect man is a big boost in confidence and also raises his own selfworth.
So now let's look at a few instances of selfless action and the consequences resulting from them.
First one is the disaster-date in volume 4
Kurosawa does his very best to choose activities that he thinks Adachi will enjoy. That is his primary concern.
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The effect this has on Adachi though is that the gap between them feels impossibly wide, only worsening his already low opinion of himself.
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Whenever Kurosawa does something big, it makes Adachi feel that much smaller. That's why he'd rather them be equals in everything instead of one giving more than the other.
Next is the argument they have in volume 8
Kurosawa attempts to, very selflessly, protect Adachi from his lowkey homophobic parents. He doesn't want them and their opinions to hurt Adachi personally, so he ends up lying to him to keep the peace. The effect this has on Adachi though is disastrous. At first he's just generally worried about why Kurosawa would even lie to him in the first place, but then they have that fight in their living room and you really get a good look at how negatively this affects Adachi.
The very first conclusion he jumps to is that he's not doing good enough for Kurosawa to feel secure with him.
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The next one is even worse, where he thinks he's not good enough in general. Both of these show how when pressed, he will default to blaming himself, believing that he is the problem first and foremost.
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And then, if all of that wasn't bad enough, this happens next:
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He's actually being self-deprecating again, something he hadn't done ever since Kurosawa told him not to in volume 5. And yes you can actually go back and check for yourself. Whenever he has negative thoughts after this point he's always pushing back.
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So there's an escalation happening here, one that is entirely caused by Kurosawa not sharing his burdens with him, by making their relationship unequal.
I think it also hurts him extra bad because they've had this argument before, just with their roles switched.
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So to him it must feel like Kurosawa is betraying the important lesson Adachi learned from that argument, which is that communicating with your partner is important, even when you feel like it might hurt them.
There's also something to be said about how most people would've probably stopped prodding when someone says "it's something I can't tell you", but Adachi knows that Kurosawa has a pattern of hiding his issues from him thanks to the mind reading, which is the whole reason they had that argument in vol 6 in the first place.
So, to summarize: Whenever Kurosawa acts selfless it takes a toll on Adachi's mental health. Because of his low self-esteem he needs to feel on equal terms with Kurosawa to be able to see himself as worthwhile. (And obviously he also loves Kurosawa and doesn't want to see him in pain just in general.)
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So after all that, surely Kurosawa would have learned his lesson, right? Surely he wouldn't just do it again, right?
... Spoilers for volume 12 start here ✨
So volume 12 is all about Kurosawa overworking himself because he's been assigned this big project by their chief to oversee their company's spot at a stationery convention. (I didn't look up whether or not that's a real thing but it is in the manga universe I guess lmao.)
Adachi tries to help alleviate his burdens with mixed success.
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(On the left he feeds Kurosawa because he needs to finish his work and doesn't have time to eat. On the right he tries to take a phonecall for Kurosawa but gets told that Kurosawa needs to hear it personally so relaying a message won't do.)
Then Adachi muses to himself how Kurosawa was always helping him out in the past and how Adachi can't do anything for him in return, especially since they're in different departments. He feels very useless, which is once again bad for his mental health.
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Later at home, he offers to at least take over the chores for the time being, but gets told that Kurosawa actually enjoys doing chores so there's no need for him to help.
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Kurosawa tells him that all he needs is Adachi to be close to him, while making out with him on the sofa. And right here we see how he only got half the lesson he was supposed to have learned in volume 8: In their fight Adachi told him that they should both be happy and he should share "all the hurt" with him, too. Well, the simple solution to that is not to see all his burdens as burdens, then he's not hurting and Adachi doesn't need to bother fussing over him! Win-win. Epic mind gymnastics 😎 (To be honest, I feel like this is actually very relatable to people that tend to give more than they take. We get so used to the weight of the burden that we don't notice it slowly pulling us down.)
So Adachi obviously notices what's going on and berates him about not having understood anything he said from that fight.
Throughout the volume Kurosawa gets more and more overworked, makes mistakes and is confronted with unexpected complications. He's very adamant about not asking anyone for help though, stating that he "can't be bothering his senpais any more than he already has" and that he's "doing this all for the sake of his future with Adachi".
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He also still has some hangups about people seeing him as just a pretty face, as you can see in that flashback in the second page. He constantly feels the need to prove himself to others, which prevents him from ever seeking out help.
So when he inevitably reaches his limit, Adachi is finally able to be there for him, being the only one that sees through his facade.
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(That hand kiss is so precious 😭)
Also, on that first page Adachi asks him whether or not he's fine, which reminds me of this panel from volume 6:
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He really knows him so well.
Emboldened by his husband, Kurosawa finally does ask for help and is, of course, met with understanding and sympathy.
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.
Spoilers for volume 12 end here ✨
So all this to say: Sometimes, when we try our best to be selfless and to protect the people close to us, we do more harm than good. Sometimes we cause harm to others (see volumes 4 and 8) and sometimes we cause harm to ourselves (see volume 12). It is of course a noble cause but it's not something to strive for at all times and can sometimes be actually counterproductive to what we wanted to achieve in the first place.
As someone who breaks themselves apart to help all the people around them, this aspect of the manga resonated very strongly with me and is probably the biggest reason I got so obsessed with this silly little BL romcom.
I know that this manga is not like, the best in quality. I know it's super niche and silly and cannot compare to the big popular mainstream manga with lots of depth and thought put into it, BUT.
A piece of art doesn't need to be "good" in order to resonate with people. You don't need to paint the mona lisa to reach someone and make them feel seen. You just need some sort of medium and a will to communicate something to the observer. (Something an AI could never replicate but that is a whole other discussion.)
This manga reached me when I needed it and it communicated a message that resonated with me and that is all it needed to do for me to love it to the point of obsession. 💖
Finally I'm done with this essay it is so long oh my god. If you reached the end of this, I'm so sorry. I hope you enjoyed it tho.
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wifeyoozi · 7 months ago
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What is your opinion of ot13 with a taller s/o
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Ot13 seventeen : when you are taller than them
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seungcheol : ok on surface he doesn't shows if it affects him or not but deep down he just loves how tall you are. He was a little insecure at the very very start about being shorter than you, but now he absolutely loves it. He'll buy you a lot of heels if you like wearing them just so he can crane his neck up and look at you like that. Loves feeling of you two give the vibe of the rich CEO and his model girlfriend.
Jeonghan : you just gave him the perfect opportunity to be a bratty sub. He actually loves feeling tiny next to you. He'll also definitely call you noona/mommy even if you are younger than him just so you'll baby him. Would sometimes wear baggy clothes and cuddle next to your side just to feel tinier next to you.
Joshua : I think he doesn't mind at all? Like "oh you're 180 cm? That's like so cool! Anyways my fave colour is blue wbu?" Like he'd love the fact you're so tall and so pretty but it wouldn't really affect him as much even if you weren't.
Jun : in public, he'll opt the more traditionally masculine and dominant roles despite your height, but in private, he is just a babie. absolute babie. you're gonna have to pamper him and always pay attention to him and peg him and cuddle with him. unironically always the little spoon.
hoshi : literally on his knees for you. you are his queen, his tigress and he's gonna worship you all the time. loves when you ruffle his hair or rest your head on top of his. is always hugging your hips. he may even wear some of your clothes if they look baggy on him.
wonwoo : an otherwise very dom wonu would sub for you. he is so tall and if you are taller than him, you are literally a goddess and he will do anything you ask him to. lowkey develops a praise kink with you. but he's also very soft for you and would take care of you all the time instead of letting otherway around happen.
woozi : at first he was really shy and insecure about roaming around with you in public, especially when you wore heels. also hates the way his members sometimes (all the time) teased him about it, but that phase passed soon, after he got more comfortable around you and you scolded his friends for teasing him. now he's a proud boyfriend who loves to show off his beautiful model-like tall girlfriend.
minghao : I just know everytime you two go out people think you are some luxury brand models. He feels proud of your height actually, loves how beautiful and elegant you look when you wear the luxurious brand clothes he buys you. Wouldn't be shy or embarassed at all about looking shorter to you.
Mingyu : the fact that you are taller than him is hot enough already, lemme tell you that first. You are one powerful couple. He likes lifting you up just so he's craning his neck up at you like you are the sun to his life (you definitely are). He just finds you so incredibly hot for being that height, loves when you use your height to dominate over him sometimes
Seokmin : he's so shy about it. Not embarrassed shy but i-am-so-in-love-with-you shy. Believes that you are the most beautiful woman on the planet. Literally would do anything for you. On his knees to eat you out serve you anytime of the day. Literally feels so subby when you're next to him.
Seungkwan : he loves how close his face is to your boobs. He could hug you and his face would be planted in your boobs or in the crook of your neck. So damn comforting. Feels so safe around you, especially when you hug him from the back and rest your head on top of his. Tho he'd be sooooo damn sulky for the rest of the month of you made even a single joke about his height even once hehe.
Vernon : externally, he doesn't look like the height difference bothers him at all. Internally he's screaming MOMMY. Loves the way you tower him, especially when you're riding him. He's your big responsibility. Can't shut up about you being the hottest woman everytime he's with his friends talking about their girlfriends. Literally still in shock how he managed to pull you.
Chan : at first he was a little embarrassed and tried to wear insoles and heels a lot often to look as tall as you, if not taller. Don't get him wrong, he loves how tall and beautiful you are and literally simps over you for that, he just feels insecure about his own height sometimes. Tho now he doesn't mind the height anymore, since you told him about how you love him the same despite his height. In fact he loves being shorter to you sometimes now, feeling how it makes your relationship more unique.
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yaksha-lover · 11 months ago
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i’m obsessed with the thought of vil falling for someone who’s ugly. especially if it’s a forced proximity trope. triple points if it’s enemies to lovers!
there’s just something about a guy obsessed with beauty is shown that beauty doesn’t equal to value that melts me
omg i actually was obsessed with this concept a few months ago and i wrote a very short unfinished drabble (set in medieval au) about knight!vil falling for ‘ugly’ knight!reader but i didn’t think anyone would want to read about an ‘ugly’ reader 😭😭
i definitely agree tho the concept is so perfect for vil imo. like the idea of this guy who’s so fixated and obsessed with beauty (especially one who’s potentially been told that much of his worth lies in his looks) who ends up falling for someone very unconventional completely unintentionally. like theres’s a whole internal struggle in him that he doesn’t want to fall in love with this person. they’re an enemy, and unattractive at that.
but then he just can’t help but falling in love with their character; when they give hope to him and represent a goodness that he’d lost. someone who is called ugly and unwanted everyday by the world and manages to keep their head held high even if tears are pouring down their cheeks.
i think that’s a quality he’d admire a lot; kindness even when the world has been unkind. he wants to be good like that too. in a way, you’re like a mirror of the kind of goodness he wants to see in himself. you’re made fun of and put down at every turn and yet you do not let that stop you from being nice. whenever someone mocks vil, he can’t let it go, he can’t let himself be kind because it hurts and that’s the only protection he’s found.
also the idea of consciously thinking someone is unattractive but unconsciously starting to notice their eyes and lips and desire settling in- help-
unfinished drabble under the cut 👉👈 (also its fem reader bc i think medieval gender roles and the idea of ‘ugly’ woman x hot man couple is kind of important to the theme lol - aka this is just jaime x brienne rewritten but anyway-)
Vil truly believed you were ugly when he first met you. He almost never truly meant the term, but in this case, it was appropriate. Most everyone you encountered agreed. He could tell by how you’d stayed stone-faced at his cruel taunts, apparently used to it. Your features were just a bit too extreme, too out of place, too different. He’d used your appearance against you, scratching at every insecurity you’d thought of and probably some you hadn’t. Still, you hadn’t gotten angry as he’d hoped. You didn’t seek to harm him, even when he knew he’d struck a sore spot.
He persevered, but you’d never given in, despite his hopes that you would become blinded enough by anger and pain to give him a chance to escape. He admired you, in a way. It seemed as though life had beaten you down long before he’d come along, but a hardened rock had emerged from the erosion.
Sometimes his words would cut too deep for you to ignore. You never did anything rash, to his dismay, but he could tell they affected you. He didn’t feel bad; why should he? He was your hostage, and you his captor. Even if you were performing your duty, you were getting in the way of his own responsibilities, his life.
Vil was surprised to learn that you were a high-born like himself. Well, not exactly born to a family of his status and wealth, but a high-born nonetheless. He’d realized that he should’ve been addressing you with your Lady title, but you’d fought at soon as he’d tried.
No matter my origin, you know that no man sees me as a lady, Sir Vil.
-
They came, and they cut off his hair. One of them taunted him for being a beautiful husk. So they’d cut a deep gash across his face. Now your outside matches your inside, ‘Sir’, they’d mocked.
Vil had wished they’d cut off his head instead.
Later, after you’d managed to convince them to let you treat his wounds, he’d bemoaned to you.
Now we’re both grotesque, he’d said, a pair of freaks.
You’re not ugly, you just have a scar, you’d replied. You turned away from your task to face him. You’ll never know what it means to be ugly.
Even with his bitter remarks, you treated his wounds all the same. When he was too afraid to face himself in the reflection of the lake, you’d been the one to peel away his bandages and force him to look.
See, you’d said, not a monster, just a man.
He’d wondered if you were an angel at that moment, a saint. Or maybe you were a witch destined to lead him astray. He hadn’t really cared either way.
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cheeeeseburger · 6 months ago
Text
Text me first and I'll definitely text you back
Lando Norris x Reader
Masterlist
A/N: English is not my first language, apologies for the mistakes! Enjoy!
It was 1 am, and you could not sleep. LIke at all. Your room was too hot, too stuffy, but also too cold at the same time. Your bed felt empty. To pass time, you were scrolling on your phone, when suddenly a perfect distraction popped up. It was a notification from your ex, Lando Norris. You two hadn’t talked in a hot minute.
Hey
I thought I had blocked you
Guess not
Too bad
I heard you broke up with that other guy
Yeah lol
He seemed nice tho.
Why do you care??? You didn’t even know him
Relax, I just wanted to check up on you
Well, reminding me of how great my ex was is a great way too do it, dumbass
Why are you so fucking rude to me? You’re nice to everyone
Don’t worry, all my exes get the same treatment, you’re not special xoxo
Wow ok.
Glad to see we’re on the same page!
I don’t think we are tho
What do you mean?
Idk why you’re treating me like shit
Huh? Probably cause we’re not together anymore?
You used to be so nice to me before
Are you drunk or something? Maybe high?
No?
Then why are you not getting that I’m not going to be as loving, because we BROKE UP!
You’re so mean, I don’t recognize you
Cry about it with Jay
Who tf is Jay?
The guy I just broke up with
Oh ok. Did you change your hair colour because of it?
Yeah, it’s my post break-up look.
It looks bad.
Omg, you’re calling me rude? You’re so fck rude.
Sorry, but you should go back to the colour you had when we were dating
Did you just text me at 1 am to hate on my hair? Bitch
No
If you think I’m desperate for rebound sex and I’ll fall right into your bed, you’re dreaming buddy.
I just wanted to talk to you, but I don’t even know why I bother
Idk why either tbh
Do you not want to talk to me ever again?
I mean, that was the plan lol
The two years we shared together mean nothing?
They used to, yeah. That’s called moving on.
Just like you’re going to do to that guy?
Yes. If it makes you feel better, I still sleep with your hoodie sometimes, while I threw all his stuff out.
You do? That’s cute
Don’t get any ideas. I also still have the hoodie of my boyfriend before you
Wow, you sure know how to make a guy feel special
Hey, you texted me first. Idk what you expected
I expected you to be nice to me. You used to be so sweet
Don’t worry, the other guys still find me sweet xoxo
I’m so sick of your attitude. Are you trying to make me jealous or something? Or do you just like to be a bitch to me?
You’re the mean one, actually.
I think I will block you.
Do it, pussy
I don’t ever want to talk to you again
Ok wait, no. I’m sorry, Lando. For real
Thank you, finally.
I can’t believe I’m suggesting this, but would you like to grab lunch sometime? Or coffee?
Damn, ok. I did not expect that
It’s fine if you don’t want to
No, no. I want to. What about that dinner that we used to go to? Next Thursday?
Good location, can it be Thursday in two weeks tho? I want to have time to change my hair colour lmao
Okay. I’ll see you there at 12?
See you there, Lando.
Goodnight, sweet dreams
What the hell was that?
Two weeks later, your nerves were about to be the death of you. You were pacing your bedroom, frantically picking the perfect outfit. How do you dress to impress your ex you’re sure you’re going to fall right back for? You finally ended up chosing a cute dress that gave you a great silhouette.
Little did you know, Lando was doing the same, trying to find a shirt that would make him look good for you. He really wanted to make a good impression. This was kind of an interview, and he was applying for the role of the ex-boyfriend that you want to get back with.
When you entered the dinner, the déjà vu was overwhelming. Lando was already sitting at the booth that used to be your booth, the one where you first kissed, the one where he used to let his hand slide underneath your dress. You had worn a dress with that very same memory in mind.
“Hi.” You gave him a warm smile. Gosh, he looked good. He got up to give you a small hug. He smelled even better than you remembered. He seemed to think you looked nice to, judging from his eyes that looked you up and down and his slight blush.
“Hey. You look gorgeous.” He immediately noticed your hair that you had dyed back to the colour he preferred.
“You look good too, Lando. Great, even.” He seemed pleased at your comment.
“No trouble finding the place, I hope?” You laughed at his joke and you both sat down on opposite sides of the booth.
“Don’t worry, even though you did not pick me up, we’ve been here enough that I remember the directions by heart.” You stuck your tongue at him.
“I can pick you up, next time.” His eyes were full of hope.
“Next time?” This time, it was your voice that was full of hope.
The waitress interrupted you to give you the menus. You shared a knowing smile with Lando.
“Is it still a Caesar salad for you? With a side of fries?”
“And a burger for you?” You two laughed.
“It seems like things are still the same, huh?” You rested your head on your hand to give him a dreamy look.
“They haven’t changed at all, no.” He grabbed your other hand to put it in his on the table. You felt sparks at the tip of your fingers, but they quickly moved all over your body. This was going way more smoothly than you had expected. The waitress went over to note your order, and you couldn’t help but to feel thrilled at the familiarity of it all.
“So, how have you been?” Lando asked.
“Good, good, you?” Small talk was usually difficult, but it was horrible when it was with your ex.
“Good too.” Oh no, you were not about to spend the entirety of your lunch date with basic questions.
“Listen, Lando. I wanted to apologize for the other night. I was rude for no reason, and I’m sorry.” He rubbed little circles on your hand with his thumb.
“It’s fine, really. I wasn’t so nice either.” He laughed in embarrassment, but you just smiled at him.
“So, we’re good then?” You really hoped you were.
“We are good.” You shook his hand to seal the deal. The handshake hid a thousand more meanings than just “we’re good”. It was filled with “I’m glad we’re seeing each other again” and “why did we ever stop?”. The waitress brought your food, and you ate in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying the moment.
“We should get ice cream after that,” You suggested shyly. Getting ice cream was code for “I don’t want this date to stop yet”.
“That was always the plan. I’m not a cheap date.” You laughed at him.
“It would be a crime to eat here without getting ice cream after. It was our tradition when we dated, remember?” He smiled at you.
“Of course, I remember. I also remember what came after.” You instantly blushed. A typical date for you and Lando always ended in his bed.
You finished eating. Lando picked up the bill, as usual.
“Thank you for paying, Lando. You know that it can be my turn to pay sometimes?”
“Nonsense. I’m trying to impress you. Is it working?” He smirked.
“Yeah, it’s working, baby. A little too well.” You flushed, because the word baby had slipped off your tongue so easily that you didn’t notice until you saw his face. He was clearly happy to see you using it again. When he put his hand in the small of your back to guide you towards the exit, you didn’t say anything. And when you walked towards the ice cream shop and your hands brushed, you put yours in his.
“I’m going to have a small chocolate sundae please, and he’ll have a large caramel sundae. Thank you!” You ordered the ice cream, once again remembering what you two always get.
“I’m happy that we’re out here together again,” said Lando, in a moment of vulnerability. You could not resist any longer. You grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and kissed him. The kiss was sweeter than the ice cream you were about to eat. “Me too, baby. So damn happy,” you replied as you pulled away, blushing. The smile he gave you made you want to kiss him again a thousand times.
You sat near a window to enjoy your sundaes. Lando looked positively jealous of your spoon. When it was time to leave, he put your hand in his.
“I had a great time today,” he said, outside of the shop.
“Me too. Do you think we could do it again?” You asked shyly.
“Anytime.” You got on your tiptoes to lock your arms behind his neck and to kiss him. You two must have looked adorable to anyone passing by. This kiss felt exactly like the first one you and Lando shared, when you first started seeing each other. When you got back to your feet, he tucked away a few loose strands of hair behind your ear.
“I like your hair.”
“Thanks. I changed it because of you,” you replied, laughing.
“You shouldn’t have. I was just mad, the other night. You looked beautiful then too.” You looked away, embarrassed at his compliment.
“I guess I better go, then.” He immediately protested. “No don’t go yet. We can go back to my place if you’d like. Or we can just grab coffee if you prefer!” It was cute to see him rambling.
You kissed him on the cheek. “Your place is more than fine, baby.” Lando gave you a huge smile and took your hand to guide you towards his car.
“I’m glad you’re coming home with me. It’s what I was hoping for,” he said as he was opening your car door for you.
“Me too, baby. We can pick up my car tomorrow morning.” He winked at you.
“Or the next day. Or the day after.” What a flirt.
You were probably not going to stay single for very long.
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separatedleoau · 3 months ago
Note
Did One ever say... dad to Draxum?
Nope! He's been calling him Boss from the moment he started to talk
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This is actually something he picked up from the goyles! They call Draxum "boss" pretty much all the time so One started mimicking that since he started to talk
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In One's mind, the goyles are pretty much his co-workers
they played a big part raising One, almost as much as Draxum, specially when he was really small and Draxum was too bussy supervising the reconstruccion of their home
But as time passed and One grew, the role of babysitter have fallen more and more, tho there are still times they are constantly checking up on what is One up to ro report back to Draxum
I don't have any specific scenarios for One getting sick as a kid, but I imagine he has gotten sick a few times. Taking care of him would be a mix of Draxum and the goyles' duty, Draxum would always call a healer is necesary too.
Draxum might seem too harsh a lot, but he had always look out for One, after all that's his experiment! Draxum needs him to be on peak health so he can perform his duties and compleate his purpose!
There's quite a few things One likes to do! He likes to play basketball and to skateboard, but he has to do those behind Draxum's back and doesn't do them often
Few things Draxum is aware of is him practicing parkour, but that helps him on missions so is ok. He also enjoys to throw knives a lot and has been perfecting his technique for years, and making up tricks to entratain himself
He's interested in the Nexus in a way, there's no yes or no answer, honestly. He doesn't like Big Mama or her "wasting" warriors on Nexus fights but a lot of that is just him parroting what Draxum has said, he enjoys watching fights but Nexus fights are kind of forbidden to him. but he likes watching old recordings of Lou Jitsu!
I do have kind of have a design for Usagi but I'm constantly chaning how I want him to look on my mind and havent drawn it out in a long time, I think a wip of it was one of the first posts I did on patreon? but thats an old design and, like I said, I keep changing it. I dont think I'm gonna finish his design until I have to draw him for the comic, and thats not gonna be any time soon
and thank you!!!🫶🏼🥰 I love getting questions even when it takes me a while to actually answer :v
(found the old patreon post of Usagi)
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b4tasquad · 1 year ago
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✭ HANDSY: NIKO OMILANA
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Authors note: the lack of beta squad related stuff on here makes me sick every time i open this app. therefor i’ve made it my mission to not only revive the beta squad # but also find others that love them as much as i do. please hmu if you like them, i beg 🙏
Warnings: eh nothing really. just language, lmk tho.
“I still don’t get why we couldn’t have someone else in her place.” Niko stares intently on the flat screen facing him, eyes set on you getting placed in position in the other room.
When the YouTuber got told that they’d be filming a blind date video like this, he was excited. Not only would he see two people spend a long amount of time with a complete stranger, but he’d laugh and joke about it while getting paid. It was a win- win situation. What he hadn’t seen coming was the special guest on today’s episode being you, his girlfriend.
Now, he had to watch guys try to flirt and win you over, and had to fake being happy about it too.
“The people wanted her.” Kenny shrugs from his seat next to him on the comfortable sofa, eyes on his phone but still knowing who his best friend was talking about. He was referring to the post they made on their official account, asking people to comment who they wanted featured more in videos. Majority of the comments asked for you, another famous influencer in the Uk, who had been spotted around the guys before.
“My girlfriend, really?” He still feels uneasy. Not in a million years would he think you would ever leave him for another guy, but ideas that the internet would start shipping you with someone else were entering his head. It made him feel sick.
“That’s what you get for having a secret relationship.” AJ replies making the rest of them break out into mocking laughter. The group knows the internet would break your relationship into bits, overanalysing and picking on everything but they still found humour in how mad their friend seemed to be at the thought of his girl being on fake dates
“So funny.” The tall boy rolles his eyes. When AJ, Chunkz and Sharky sat behind him doesn’t stop laughing, he makes a move to hit every single one of them. “Shut up.”
Fortunately, they’re told to get into position, making them ultimately shut up. The camera got set up and the person behind them giving them a signal to start.
“Today we have a special guest!” Kenny introduces.
“It’s me.” You speak flatly, hearing his words through the mic in your ear. “I’m the special guest.”
You can hear the guys groan hating the lack of happiness in your voice. Keeping up his role and hiding the fact that you were in a committed relationship, he clears his throat. “You gotta be more enthusiastic than that. You’re on beta squad, we’re giving you a chance to make a name for yourself.”
If you hadn’t been on camera, you would threaten to break up with Niko, but since you were you tried a different approach. “You’re almost speaking like I don’t have more followers than you. Bitch I’m making your career.”
“A round of applause.” Sharky tells at your bite back, and Niko side eyes him knowing of the small crush he had on you. It wasn’t hard to tell really, the guy took your side on literally anything and smiled stupidly at the things you said.
“Niko could you zip it, we’re paying her for the minute don’t drag it out.” You can’t help but laugh in your seat at Chunkz’ words, nodding in approval at his humour.
“Anyways.” You continue, eyes set on the camera as you cross your legs. “Let’s get into the video.”
The boys introduce the idea for the video and that’s when you remember this is the first time they’ve done it on their channel. Basically, you’re going to be going on an arranged date with a guy, and the group have certain stages you had to go through to help you find ‘your perfect match’.
As Kenny concludes the whole thing, you can’t help but roll your eyes and sigh. “ I’m not even looking for a guy. I’m all good.” You tell, a little smile on your face as you think of your lover. As if catching on to it, Niko also stupidly smiles in his seat, feeling much better about it now.
“Contestant one.” They call out and the next second, a blonde walks into the little setup. From across the table you thin your lips a little as you look over him.
“She hates him!” Chunkz cackles, pointing at the scene on the screen. “Did y’all see that little lip thing? This gyal is crazy for that one.”
Niko grins to himself.
“Hey.” The guy greets, and to be polite you get up and hug him, muttering pleasantries. You’re going for a friendly and comfortable hug, your arms loosely wrapping around his middle. The guy on the other hand tightened his hold on your waist, hands creeping down.
“Hell no.” You push away, a disgusted laugh rippling out of you at this actions. “D’you not have shame? Mans tried to grab my bunda before introducing himself. Get him out. Can I vote people out?”
The four other members, slowly look towards Niko, watching almost fearfully as he gets up from his seat, not caring wether the camera was still on. He wasn’t thinking logically, only feeling anger as someone got handsy with his girl. You’re laughing at the guy, not even giving him a chance to explain himself when Niko storms in, eyes set on the unknown guy.
“You, get the fuck out.” He points towards the exit. Behind him, the rest of the guys run after him, calling for their friend to stop.
“Niko, chill.” Sharky tells him, coming up to him and stopping him from doing something stupid. You’ve completely frozen near the table, never seen your boyfriend so mad.
“I’m not going to stop, what the fuck? This lad is proper mad, trynna grab her.” At his words you finally snap out of your shock.
“Let it go.” You plead with him, coming to stand besides him. Still wary of the countless eyes of contestants and others, you make a note to not touch him and plead with your eyes instead.
He silently nods, but he’s not done. “He’s out. Or me and y/n aren’t doing the video.” To someone who only know you two as influencers, they must think Niko is crazy. Not only raging, but threatening to leave the video for a girl he didn’t know that well must’ve seemed crazy.
“Why are you so mad?” The guy who minutes before tried to touch you questions, standing a good distance away from you guys.
“Don’t fucking speak, you little shit.” You tell him, sick of him. Because of him, your boyfriend not only got uncharacteristically mad, but the guy you didn’t know had managed to make the whole thing weird.
It wasn’t a question for the rest of the beta squad, without even a second of thinking they got the guy removed of set, him cussing him out as they do so.
“You good? Can we continue?” AJ asks, his question directed to the two of you. Niko’s chest was heaving, and with the lack of eyes on you now, you take a hold of his hand, kissing the back. It seems to relax him a great deal.
He nods. “Yeah.” Letting go of your hand, he leans down to hug you close to him, secretly kissing your covered neck, whispering a little “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay baby.” You tell him, nodding to give him even more reassurance. “Don’t worry about these guys, I don’t want anyone but you. This is just a video.”
Even though he doesn’t seem completely content with the idea of it, he seems to feel much lighter than a few minutes ago. Now, seemingly in the joking mood again, he huffs a laugh. “I should’ve smoked his jaw.”
Kenny is the first one to break as he hears the words, imagining Niko in a fight. After that, the rest of the guys fall into heavy laughter, and you can’t help but let out small giggles yourself at the thought of your funny and problem solving boyfriend getting into a physical fight.
As if you’ve betrayed him, he looks at you with widened eyes and an open mouth, before addressing his friends behind you. “Stop laughing!”
They laugh even more at that.
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yunhobug · 2 years ago
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Seonghwa NSFW Alphabet
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Seonghwa x Gn!reader
w: Hwa’s a simp, he literally worships you and the ground you walk on
Requested? no ma’am!
a/n: Seonghwa is my ult of all ults so i’ve definitely thought about this more than i probably should’ve
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
so sweet and caring, Seonghwa is incredibly observant from start to finish and is constantly checking in with you
he will do everything you want and more, takes a warm shower with you, helps you with skincare, makes sure you have cozy pajamas
nothing is ever missed on Hwa’s watch
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
obsessed with your eyes, he likes to watch your expressions anytime he goes down on you or while fucking into you
loves the way they squint shut or how your eyebrows furrow
on himself, he loves his tongue, we all knew this was gonna show up sooner or later
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Seonghwa is Ateez’s resident cum eater, sorry I said what I said , no take backs
whether it’s yours or his own it’s going to get messy
also loves to cum in you (we’ll come back to this later tho)
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He’s been really wanting to explore more into role play, loves the idea of playing a character and would love to do that with you
specifically would like to play the role of a teacher
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Honestly I don’t think most idols are too experienced especially earlier in their career but that doesn’t mean he isn’t hopeless lmao
Seonghwa has had at least one long term partner and has had enough sex to know what he’s doing
There’s a learning process with hwa though, and it’s one of his favorite parts of your relationship, he loves doing new things together and exploring sex as a couple
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
loves a good ole missionary moment
as i said earlier he is obsessed with the face you make in reaction to him, so he likes positions where he can see your face
he’s also a big fan of you riding him
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Not at all, in his head being goofy kinda ruins the moment for him
he’s slightly obsessed with making the moment perfect and gets upset when he can’t do that
just make sure to assure him with his efforts
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Prefers to go bare or freshly shaven, he thinks it’s the cleanest and definitely prefers to shave for you
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
HES SUCH A ROMANTIC OML
it’s almost sappy with how much effort he puts in
you love it so much though
i’m talking champagne, rose petals, slow music, a fancy dinner before hand
he’s going to make you feel so loved
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
not super often maybe once or twice a week?
he likes to give himself the challenge of waiting till you can help him
if he can’t though, I could see hwa calling you to help get him off, which is a convenient Segway into the next letter
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
loves sexting and phone sex, it truly feels like his own personal dirty secret
being able to text you, telling you how he wants you to take his cock all the while the members are sitting innocently next to him
also loves to take pictures and video of the two of you, he has a locked folder in his camera roll full of photos of you together, likes to go through them when he’s needy while on tour
I think we all know about the Hwa breeding kink agenda, loves the idea of filling you with his kids, even if you can’t get pregnant, he’s obsessed with the image of it, the possessiveness nature to his thoughts rule over him
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
the bedroom is always the number one place for him
but he also has major love for shower sex, not only does he love being so close to you but he also likes the easy clean up
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
literally just you, you could innocently kiss him and he could pop a boner
hwa just loves you and loves the effect you have on him
he loves how attractor find him
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Like San, he isn’t much into pain play, definitely isn’t opposed to spanking you, especially if he’s playing a more domineering role but he isn’t going to go to far with it
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
LOVES GIVING
going back to letter C he loves the taste of you, no matter what you may say
he’s literally obsessed with going down on you, he craves for it, he wants you at all times
sometimes it shocks you how much he enjoys giving
cant say he doesn’t love when you give him head though
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Def a slow and sensual guy, loves taking his time with you and is going to make sure you cum a couple times before he does
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
no
like i said just before, he loves to take his time winding you up with his fingers and tongue
how is he going to do just that when you guys only have 15 minutes
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He loves to explore with you, being able to experience things together is one of his favorite things to do
that being said he’s not the biggest fan of being caught, he knows the members would never let him hear the end of it
he also hates anyone seeing you in that type of position
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
He knows he can only cum once in a round so he takes his time to pull a few out of you before hand
So one round, maybe two if you take enough time between them
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Loves using toys together, is obsessed with watching how much a vibrator can affect your body
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
he teases a little bit but Seonghwa will give you anything you want if you ask for it
you have to ask for it though, a big fan of asking you to use your words
“use your words precious, tell me how you want me.”
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
definitely moans, they’re so pretty too
especially when you give him head
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
loves when you act innocent for him, if you’re truly inexperienced he loves the idea of being your first and showing you the world of pleasure
on the other hand, even if you aren’t inexperienced, he would love if you played it up for him, goes into his role playing fantasy
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
He’s definitely one of the bigger members of ateez
Probably like 6 1/2” maybe 7”
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
He would prefer to have sex 4 times a week if he can
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Not quick at all, he’s going to make sure you’re cared for before he even thinks of shutting his eyes
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yukinarinn · 9 months ago
Note
Childhood bestfriends to lovers Ethan Landry x Reader?? (W smut) 🙏
Feel Something - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader
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contains: smut, soft!dom!Ethan, sub!reader, p in v, a bit of angst (?), both of you losing virginity
A/N: Hi, I don’t know how good this is and I don’t know why is mostly angst (it’s in fact just a little, but still) I wanted this to be kinky asf but instead I kinda trauma dumped, lmao. I hope it’s still okay tho!
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You and your friends were at Sam and Tara’s place, including Ethan who was always either behind you or right next to you. You didn’t mind since you knew each other since childhood and are the closest and form the closest bond. So it’s safe to say this friend group is still new to you both. University just started a few weeks ago and you have a hard time getting used to New York and every new thing.
“So, any ideas of what we should do?” Mindy said as she playfully pinched Sam’s arm while Anika gave her a weird look but ignored it.
“We were thinking of watching a movie tonight, perhaps?” Samantha suggested and all of the looks were fixated on you and Ethan now. They knew he doesn’t really like movie nights and that you just can’t stand still for 2 hours straight.
“Thing is..” you began to speak, taking this a bit personal since you think they’re just messing around or something. “I didn’t want to be here today, but Ethan asked me to come and I couldn’t say no.” you eye-sideying him as you try to avoid eye contact.
“Yeah, me neither. Chad also invited me.” He cleared his throat as Chad just showed him the middle finger. Whispering a “What a bitch”.
It seems like these two get along very well, but in reality, it’s really not like that. They need to fake their friendship and how cool they are just because they’re roommates, which is bullshit. You could’ve been his roommate instead, but due to obvious reasons, it’s not allowed.
“Even so, we don’t have drinks nor popcorns or anything to eat.” Quinn remarked. “Shall one of us go to the supermarket, then.”
You stared at her confused, why going to a supermarket? it’s too far away right now and you don’t even know how long this will take. It’s supposed to be a movie night, not waiting for Chad or one of the girls to go buy shit.
“Supermarket? there’s literally the shop by the corner!” Ethan replied and you nodded, biting your lip as you look at him intensely while it seems like he isn’t aware of you doing it.
Quinn turned and came closer to him. “Listen here, bitch. You may be my brother but I’m doing you a favor right now, don’t be dumb and keep your mouth shut.” She replied back with a more arrogant tone.
Her look dropped on yours suddenly and you clear your throat. Her sister has always took the.. parental role for him since their mother is unknown even to this day. You couldn’t never really get along with her.
“And you too, y/n” Quinn smirked and turned to everyone. “We might not like the snacks one of us will buy, so why don’t we all just go and buy stuff individually?”
Oh, you get it now. It’s not that you would mind, but since when she knows about you having a thing for her brother? Either way, you thank her.
Everyone sighs and heads towards the door, finally. But not before Chad and Tara looked back at you, asking if you’re coming as well.
You shook your head and they raised their eyebrows, well, Tara. You could tell Chad had a slight smile printed on his face.
Once you heard the door closing and eventually locked from the outside. You both let out a loud sigh. You hated the living room so much for some reason, so you go upstairs towards Tara’s room with Ethan right behind you.
“Do they let you just walk around their house like that?” He chuckled and closed the door behind him.
You sat on the edge of the bed, looking around the bedroom. It was perfect for a date. Her tastes are indeed cool.
“Do I look like I care? Come sit beside me, why so nervous?” you asked. But you were kinda nervous as well, you did everything together, everything but not being this close to each other ‘till now.
Ethan nodded and sits next to you, but doesn’t hold eye contact at all. The tension was already here. You didn’t know why it felt so weird being like this.. it’s not the first time you were alone with him, or with a guy in general.
A few seconds pass and you were still not saying or doing anything. You bite your lip and turned to him, but he already was going to break the ice before you did.
“Y/n, I know we don’t talk much about this but I do care about you and I wish you never let any guy hurt you.”
The random words coming from his mouth made your heart race. You never liked talking about this topic and preferred not to talk about other men in front of him. You bite the skin of your lips and look down, scared that he would notice how vulnerable you actually can become if you talk about past relationships.
“I technically came here to have fun.. you know..” You whisper, leaning towards him, smelling his cologne. “I don’t think we should talk about everything I’ve been through with other men.”
He smiled and rubbed your cheek with his long fingers, this is one of the few times he has touched you like this. He never dared to even touch you by accident, but when he did, he would apologise. But to you, there was nothing to apologise for.
“I think we should, now that we’re alone. Talk with your best friend, y/n.” Ethan looked you up and down, slightly biting his bottom lip. You didn’t know why he’s trying to bring this subject up but you felt like talking to someone about your love life. “Vent to me.”
You nodded and sighed. “So what do you wanna know? you already know all of my exes.” You felt ashamed of saying it out loud, ashamed of yourself that you dated so many. But Ethan just stared at you, letting you continue but there’s nothing to continue about.
“I know how you feel right now and trust me, you shouldn’t think of yourself like this. You dated all of them because you felt empty without someone to take care of you, worship you.” He says those words in such a deep and gentle tone. It makes your heart melt and you involuntarily put your head on his shoulder.
“You know me so well,” you whispered. “Do you want some dating advice? is this why you’re so invested in this conversation?”
“No.” He chuckled but went back to a serious tone which only made you feel bad for ‘ruining’ the mood that is supposed to be serious. “You know I’ve never dated anyone and that I would screw things up in my first relationship anyway.” He scratched the back of his neck.
“You screwing up? look at me, I ruined my relationships because I couldn’t feel anything towards them. They left me with a bitter taste of what love truly is.” You start sobbing and squeezed Ethan’s hand. “Maybe I’m just unlovable and.. I can’t love someone, either.”
Ethan looked at you and put one of his fingers under your chin to lift your head up from his shoulder, making you look at him. Eyes filled with tears and your lips were puffy already. You gave in and now he knows how vulnerable you can be at times, another one who knows.
“Don’t cry, you’re not unlovable and you could love someone. You just have to meet the right guy.” He gently grabbed your shoulders, massaging them while you’re trying to break the eye contact.
You were staring at him like you’ve seen a ghost, and you got more surprised as soon as he wiped your tears away with his index finger, his finger slowly moving down to your lips.
“You’re not broken if that’s what you think,” He got extremely closer to you, his lips just a few inches away from yours. “Let yourself feel something with me.”
Before you could say anything, he pressed his lips against yours, your eyes widened. But it didn’t take much longer for you to slowly close them and kiss him back with your hands around him. Pushing your lips more against his.
He wrapped his hands around your waist, squeezing it as he pushes you onto the bed on your back while lips still locked together and he crawled on top of you, biting your lower lip to make you open your mouth and enter his tongue in, desperately searching for yours.
You moan into the kiss as soon as you feel his tongue on yours and his fingers playing with the waistband of your lace underwear. The fact that it was so easy to him to touch your private parts because of you wearing only a tight red dress, was turning him on even more.
He didn’t want to tease you much though, so his fingers found their way to your already wet cunt, massaging your clit slowly through your panties. Making you break the kiss immediately.
“E-Ethan-“ you moaned his name, which only made him get harder and you wetter by how he was stimulating you.
Ethan continues to play with your clit while you involuntarily squeeze your legs, which makes him laugh and use his other hand to spread them again.
"It's obvious you haven't been touched in this area much," he says amusedly as you roll your eyes, unable to form coherent sentences.
He bites his lips and moves your panties to the side, pressing his finger against your now exposed clit. You start gripping the sheets.
"I-It's too much!" You tilt your head back, and Ethan takes advantage, pressing his mouth against your sensitive neck, lightly biting the spot.
"Really? But I haven't even penetrated you yet!" He smiles and licks the now reddened bite mark.
You didn't expect your best friend to take control and do with you everything no other boy has done before. You feel your body burning with pleasure and desire. The feeling is unfamiliar, but you love it.
He takes his finger away from your clit and you moan in frustration, almost wanting to beg him to give you more. He smiles innocently and takes his shirt off, revealing his muscles and abs. You blush slightly at what you’re seeing. Definitely not expecting this.
But your gaze immediately drops when Ethan pulls his belt down along with his pants, throwing them somewhere on the floor. He's hard as a rock, and you have no idea if it will fit. You gulp when his boxers vanish along with his clothes. You see it, and it's big.
"What's wrong, princess? You should know you have to beg if you want it that bad." he teases. "By the way, are there any condoms around here?"
"Y-Yes," you stammer. "On Tara's nightstand. Chad and she are insatiable." You start laughing together.
He opens a pack of condoms and slowly rolls one onto himself, while you undress in front of him and lie back. Eagerly waiting for him to be on top of you again.
"Please..." You spread your legs.
"Please, what?" he chuckles as he teases your wet pussy with his tip.
"Fuck me!" You beg, and he grins, leaning in to passionately kiss you as he enters slowly, groaning while you start to whimper in pain as you feel him stretching you out.
He didn’t move, he’s letting you adjust to his size. Even though it’s confusing because you’re crying and your legs are shaking. He’s about to pull out but you stopped him.
“Are you… a virgin?” He asks you, confused of your look and the way you’re breathing. You nod slightly.
“Just like you.” You replied, a slight shake could be found in your voice. He rolled his eyes, almost annoyed at the fact that he didn’t know you still were.
“Why didn’t you tell me, baby? I could’ve made this more special to you, to both of us.” You groaned at the pet name and smiled, trying to forget the pain as if never existed.
“But this is special, Ethan. I’ve actually wanted you for so long.” You pulled him closer. “Move, I’m going to be fine.”
He nodded, still unsure of what to do and started thrusting it in and out of you, making you roll your eyes in pleasure and instinctively wrap your legs around him.
Ethan groans in your ear as he feels your hand running through his curly hair. You open your eyes wide when his finger quickly rubs your clit.
"Please, don't stop, keep going," you say, your eyes searching for his, and he whispers in your ear in a sensual manner.
"What a good girl," he praises, and your walls tighten around him, making him whimper and bite your neck without any gentleness. You put your hand over your mouth, tears of pleading in your eyes.
"Don't cover that pretty mouth of yours, let me hear you," he moves faster inside you. "I'm close," he whispers.
You moan loudly, struggling to respond. “Me too-" Ethan presses his lips on yours, taking your lower lip between his teeth which made you open your mouth, enough for him to slide his tongue in as he pounds in you faster. And with one final thrust, you cum all over his dick and he catches his own orgasm, releasing into the condom.
He slowly pulls out, sweat visibly on his forehead as he throws the used condom into the trash can next to Tara’s bed. You’ll make sure to throw it somewhere else before she sees it.
“That was amazing!” He tells you, laying on the bed visibly tired but proud that you’re finally his.
You turn to him and smile, searching for his hand. “I’ve wondered what it’s like to touch and feel something, but now I know.” you lean closer and peck his lips.
“Does it mean you’re giving me a chance?” He asked, you could see how the look on his face changed and how his eyes are basically sparkling.
You nodded. “Yes, but we have to put our clothes back on now, the bitches will get home soon.”
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miimo96 · 4 months ago
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Thoughts on My Adventures with Superman S2 FINALE
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This has me kinda scared because Normally when this happens, it usually means 2 thing's; 1 this is either going to be Very long episode or 2, Somebody's going to die, and with the way the creator's have been teasing us with Tweets about Kara's demise, I'm guessing it's the ladder, and if that's the case WTF DC
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Also if had a nickel for everytime that a Giant spaceship threatened to Destroy Earth as a way to Rebuild krypton in a Superman story, I'd have 2 nickels, which isn't alot, but it's weird that it's happened twice
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So lemme get this straight, this Lex is smart enough to build the parasite suit, have a fail safe for that, is able to frame Superman gaining Millions of followers and government access, infuse Kryptonite to Kryptonian built robots, but isn't smart enough to come up with a fail safe when said robots get hacked!?....yeah I call Bullshit
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Hell yeah the Cavalry's here! oh, and Sam too I guess whatever, listen the FANS might've forgiven your ass for abandoning lois 6 episodes ago, but I sure as hell don't, in all seriousnes tho I am glad he got some sort of character development regarding his relationship with Superman, seeing it as how he is now trying to help him instead of ya know, Trying to Kill him 😅 btw I kinda feel stupid for asking myself how the heck they turned invisible, only to realize they were actually holding on to Only the character who Can turn invisible Lol 😅😅 also did anyone else immediately thought've Lobo when he said the Main man, no, just me
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Wow I can't belive they actually gave Kara the Winter soldier treatment, from the brainwashing, Down to him effing reactivating it like freakin Zemo, Well looks like Clark's gonna have to fight his cousin again, hopefully he doesn't end up like last time, or if not maybe Jimmy can talk some sense into her, Seeing as how it was seeing a picture of Jimmy which resulted in her breaking free from Brainiacs control, maybe this where he can finally confesses his feelings for her, Omg I would love that ^w^
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Wait you're telling me Brainiac Did it, that he's the reason why krypton exploded, that HE Killed clarks and Kara's parents!? Oh nah Brainiac gotta die now, also has anyone else how similar he is to Zod, from his reasoning, to his personality, to even this whole effing scenario, like This is some shit Zod would've done, and it's funny because I was actually thinking about this not to long ago about how we technically don't need Zod in this show because Brainiac fits that role perfectly, especially with how he's been depicted this season, Omg if this was an intentional Detail on their part, then it's official, this show never ceases to Amaze me
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Uh oh scary Kara's back, Damn it Brainiac why you gotta be such a Bitch; Also it may be nothing, but the way those missiles were moving kinda reminded of the way Darksides Omega beams would move, which got me thinking about something; What if Kryptons technology is possibly made from Apocalypse
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This shot is ABSOLUTELY Beautiful; from the colors, to the camera work, to even the Symbolism between him and the Sun, everything was just Screams Superman
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Tbh out of all the anime tropes they've done this season, I gotta say Talk no jutsu the 1 was NOT expecting them pull, and ya know what, I'm actually kinda glad they did, because it just fits Superman's MO; Superman has always been represented for kindness not his strength, like even if you've done him dirty, he'll still always choose to help you because that's just who he is, hes the person who just wants to help, he'll carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, he's the person who will try to stop a threat with his words before having to result to violence, he's the Man of Steel not because of what he can do, but because of who he is and always will be, hence why this trope works perfectly for him, it's the Perfect representation of what he embodies, Compassion, That's what makes him Superman
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Ok I have a few things regarding this scene, 1st off i Absolutely love my 2 star children, 2nd of all Kara don't throw him into the sun, that's how make Nuclear man 😂 3rd of all, in all honesty, I was not worried 1 bit when Kara got shot mainly for 2 reasons; 1 even tho she was clearly shot by Kryptonite, they were directly near the sun and if I remember correctly, the Sun is what gives them their power, granting them the abilities to heal from critical wounds as well as even more strength, and because 2, kryptonians have invulnerable skin meaning she won't burn up from the sun even if she falls into it, all in all touching scene but No stakes
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Kara's lighting's, Kryptonite Saber, Clean animation, Super sayian references!? OMG this episode is AMAZINGGG!! Also Kara's lighting's Red!? Ngl but I SWEAR I thought it was gonna be yellow, not because it would only go good with her hair, but because it in my opinion, it just fits her better, plus we did see kinda of it Start to spark in her fight against Brainiac 2 episodes ago, and since Clark's is blue it would only just made sense for hers to be yellow, hopefully maybe it can like evolve in season 3 or something, don't get wrong I like the Red but in my opinion, it just feels like a missed opportunity, In other News
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Eff yeah Brainiac's Dead! Be honest, how many of you actually thought kara was dead after that scene, because my heart immediately stopped after she passed out 😅
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Also can we talk about how Amazing Kara's suit looks, like Omg this Has to be one of the best desings I've seen, I just love everything about it from the colors to the boots all the way to especially the Cape, like I just love how it looks like a scarf UwU
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AH siblings being siblings 😊 btw Love how he still has the shirt from when he was kid, Such a full circle moment, also when it comes to Kara's, this Kara, the kara from injustice 2, the CW show and even The FLASH movie are All of my favorite Kara's, every single one of them EXPECT and I can't believe I'm saying this, the 1 from the DCAU, like I'm sorry but in my opinion she was just too much of a hot head, and she barely had any screen time in Justice league, like I don't understand how did we stray so far from God, also she was incredibly weaker when it came to her cousin, this 1 on the other hand can slap her cousin around like it was a normal Tuesday, So yeah that's my Hot take come at me In the comments I dare you
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Well well well looks like instead of mommy dosen't need you anymore, it's more like We don't need Mommy anymore, hell yeah Lex's finally going to be the Villain next season and I soo can't wait, oh and what's this, it looks like slade is gonna be his right hand now, oh yeah Slex is Definitely becoming cannon
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🎵 Super rizz, Super rizz, here comes Clark's Super rizz 🎵
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And with that another amazing end to another amazing series, Overall this season was freakin Epic, from the animation, to the music, to the character designs minus the robots, everything was just epic, from Start to finish; only thing to do Now is wait for season 3, but I wanna know you're thoughts, What did YOU think of season 2, and what was your favorite episode or moment from this series, comment or just leave a like if ya enjoyed this Thoughts on series, and lemme know if I should do more of this, Anyway I'mma head out because this took a while for me to write and I'm feeling kinda burnt out, Anyway yeah thank you for reading and I can't wait to see you again in S3, and with that, Superman Saturday's has come to an end, well, for now anyway ^^;
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months ago
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AITA for saying different stuff to my friend’s face and behind his back?
As you can tell, I’m pretty genuinely worried I screwed up here.
So I (17F) and my friend (17M) both auditioned for the school musical. We both have done every high school show, so we’re very immersed in the theater world. We are seniors and this was our last show. This is just some context—the point of which is that my friend and I both have tons of friends in the theater department, and that’s where a lot of our socialization happens.
My friend was the male lead in the last school musical, so it was likely he’d be the main male lead again this year. However, when I saw what musical we were doing, I actually thought he’d be better as the supporting male lead. Still an ENORMOUS role, but due to his personality, casting type, acting, and tap dancing abilities, that just seemed like the better role for him.
Meanwhile, this other senior guy who had only done one show also was auditioning. Now, he’s also very talented, so in his first show he actually got a pretty big role, but he also proved really difficult to work with during that show and also at the auditions for this new show got so upset he actually stormed out for a while.
However, his acting and singing audition were perfect for the main male lead.
If he was cast as the main male lead and my friend was cast as the supporting lead, our show would have looked SO GOOD.
But after the whole storming out fiasco, I was pretty sure that other guy wasn’t getting a big role at all. But when the cast list came out, my friend was the main lead and this guy was the supporting lead.
Now. I was super happy for my friend. But it was not a good casting choice for him, and since that other role is so big, it doesn’t really punish the other guy for walking out either. So it doesn’t save us the headache of working with the one guy AND puts my friend in a role that isn’t as perfect for him.
But my friend is BELOVED in the cast, and not just by me. He’s practically worshiped by everyone who isn’t his close friend, and his close friends love him for obvious reasons (cause we’re friends). So everyone made a huge deal about how he’s PERFECT for the role, and blah blah blah, and I kinda silently disagreed but I wanted to suppose my friend so I was like “yeah! You totally deserved it! Good for you!”
This other guy though kinda got irrationally angry that he was given the supporting lead (he’s definitely an asshole regardless of whether or not I am) and even quit the show… even though he got a big part. And then he started talking trash about my friend and saying he wasn’t talented?
But when that guy talked to me (weird decision considering everyone knows we’re really close), he said, “my acting was literally so much better for that role. I SHOULD have gotten the role.” And I said, “yeah. My friend really would have been better in the other role. I agree.”
And then he went on to say, “my acting is so much better than his anyway.” And I didn’t straight up agree, but my response was, “well, you know politics plays a huge role in these things.” Which definitely didn’t deny what he said. (And my friend actually is disproportionately benefited by director politics bc he takes private lessons from our choreographer, so I wasn’t WRONG—but I wasn’t being the good friend I should have been either.)
So I sorta feel like I told this other guy, who probably didn’t get the main lead bc of politics/being a nightmare to work with (probably both, tho the second is less likely since he got a big role anyway?) that he was right about my friend, even though my friend really is talented and I never MEANT to imply that he wasn’t. But I think I did.
I’m happy for my friend getting the lead. And I’m not sorry for thinking he would have been better cast in the other role. But…something feels icky about telling him he’s perfect for the role and then telling his rival that he would have been better for the role.
I don’t know. Let me have it if I need it, tumblr. AITA?
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majimasleftasscheek · 1 year ago
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Have you played Yakuza 6 yet? If so ya got any kazumaji head canons based off the events of the game?
I absolutely love your ideas for them and I am beyond upset that Majima was barley in the game. Or even mentioned that much.
They did the boi dirty in this game, I swear.
*clenches my ass hard enough to shit diamonds*
oh I have OPINIONS about 6 I'll tell you that but it is good fodder for the kazumaji agenda 👀 I'mma be kinda rambly in this but I promise it all ties together kdjfjkldfkldf
so we all know Kiryu goes off to find Haruka and because I'm a big fan of dadjima, I can only imagine Kiryu lets him know while he's stuck in jail and Majima's just like WHAT
so Kiryu does a lot of self reflection but acting upon it is another matter. I can see Majima chastising him, saying she ran away cuz that's all Kiryu ever does (part of him is still pissy about him leaving in y3) and she's never had a healthy role model other than the king of hypocrisy. Kiryu would go on about how it's just to protect people yada yada but Majima would be like my guy, you left a bunch of kids in the care of your daughter who should not be parenting for you. you refuse any and all help because you think you can do it all on your own. you left me with Daigo who you said I wouldn't be babysitting AND YET—
I just want Majima to absolutely rail into him about how self serving he's acted despite better intentions. like of course Haruka ran away, look how much pressure she was under, what she went through in the idol bizz (maybe I'm a loser but I did not like Haruka's part in y5 that shit icked me), what you (Kiryu) do every time you feel like a burden to people. how naïve it was to think any part of Kiryu's past would leave him behind just because he wanted it to. how his lone wolf thing impedes on everybody else. how in 5 he literally says he needs to stop running from his past and he does it anyway. this game FRUSTRATES ME rrhrrhhrhrr KIRYU FRUSTRATES ME ACK. but also I have a thing for Majima just being angry at him, to actually lash out and spew all those feelings of being left behind or being refused to let help because Kiryu's stubborn. how he let himself be used all those years to help Kiryu out just because he asked and now once again Kiryu's off on his own, never changing his tune about how he doesn't wanna rely on people. Majima's not perfect either and frankly he communicates like shit too but I just want that RAGE to get out and explore how Kiryu would hear him but never listen. makes it all the more tragic when he finds out Kiryu "died."
*tho I must note, as much as it does irritate me, 6 makes sense entirely for Kiryu's character lol. nothing he does in it surprises me in the slightest so while I'm not a fan of the story, it's pretty fitting for him since he's the downfall of his own story half the time. and it's not so simple as just saying Kiryu's to blame. he's constantly forced to deal with shit just as much as he wants to be left alone. he struggles and he tries hard I'll give him that. I don't think he's a bad person for what he aimed to do in 6 but he's not infallible either. and sometimes it's just par for the course. like how he makes the compromise at the end of the game to disappear so his family can be at peace all the while in his history, he's had major problems doing what he's told - never truly disappearing anyway, going about whatever's gonna happen in gaiden. could you imagine if Haruka caught wind that some resting bitch face motherfucker is beating the shit outta armies somewhere? could you imagine her finding out that Kiryu left again?
honestly I think his character is really interesting cuz of this. he has good intentions and I feel like to him there's some expectation that people should understand this, that people should accept his choices. I think it's fun to explore how others react to that - how it's in a way offensive, that Kiryu thinks he knows what's best and how to handle it as if he has all the power and say. how pissed people feel about him shoving them away for the sake of their safety, etc. I don't think he'd listen to Majima tbh but I think it's important that someone unafraid of Kiryu's dumbassery would lay it out how it is to him in a way that cuts, more so than Haruka, Date or like Akiyama could.
ANYWAY, Majima's mad at him lol but can't really do anything atm due to the surrounding circumstances. I like to think he's got some of the Majima family watching out for Kiryu and Haruka if they happened to see them. Nishida at least cuz ain't no one gonna arrest a cutie patootie like him. it's not much but it's a little peace of mind. Majima knows Kiryu's reckless as all hell so he's worried and doubly annoyed that Kiryu doesn't care (about his own safety or that other people are concerned for him).
so since Majima has a fat 5 minutes in the whole game, there's not much to say about his involvement overall (other than oopsie stuck in jail) but I've had some thoughts about what all the jimas³ are doing in the meantime.
all the jimas are grouped together because I said so even tho realistically they'd prolly be separated lol. Daigo and Saejima are handling things well enough but Majima's bouncing off the walls in boredom and nothing irks him more than being stuck in one spot while Kiryu's out probably getting hit over the head with a stop sign and refusing medical attention. Daigo's losing his mind but he can agree Kiryu's bullheaded and talking about that keeps Majima distracted. Saejima does his part in trying to get Majima's mind off things now that they have all the time in the world to catch up on whatever.
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time passes and I'm rewriting the part in 6 where they show up at the end cuz I live in a fantasy world.
Kiryu "dies" and suddenly the three of them are released early, no doubt knowing his death had something to do with it. Daigo gets Kiryu's letter and Majima makes some joke about Kiryu's literacy but a quick scan of the letter makes Daigo's face drop. he reads it and Majima doesn't think it's real. he doesn't know how to feel. even Saejima is in disbelief. but the letter is vague. it's conjecture written by Kiryu of his own death so there's a chance he's fine. Kiryu's fine, he's always fine. he's been shot and stabbed a million times, he's fine.
but it's not long till it's confirmed by Date. Daigo's skeptical cuz his inner punkass doesn't trust cops. Saejima's on the same page but Majima's in full denial whilst also believing it to be true. his reaction is immediate and violent. he wants something to be done, he wants revenge but Daigo wants to follow Kiryu's wish to avoid war. Majima's so outraged he frankly couldn't give less of a shit about Kiryu's wishes so it's up to Saejima to wrangle him back *insert a dramatic fight here.* Majima gets his ass beat and he's just a mess. things move fast though - the fate of the clan is up in the air and he just couldn't care. but Daigo needs him and for that he pulls it together, just barely.
fast forward to when the jimas go into hiding. they get set up in a lil safehouse via Nick Ogata. I like to see it as a basic bitch type of place, very out of the way, very ignorable but the inside is nice enough. they have to stay cooped up as much as possible and it drives Majima insane. he's fidgety, always pacing. Saejima tries to calm him down and it works for a time until Majima falls into another slump and repeats.
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they took a few things with them that they could, mostly small stuff, some clothes and the like. Majima brought along a few of Kiryu's things, namely some pocket cars and a shirt. he wears it often, being very against washing it. Daigo's too stressed to notice but Saejima watches Majima just break down into someone he doesn't know. he's tired, closed off, guilt ridden. Saejima starts to think this is who Majima was after getting out of the Hole. a shell of a person taking blame for things out of his control. losing the will to care for himself as some sort of self imposed punishment for not doing more. seething in silence in the powerlessness.
his beard grows scraggly, his hair is unkept and the circles under his eye grows darker everyday. his behavior mimics his Sotenbori days where everything was for Saejima, all he could think about was Saejima, how he failed him, how if he tried hard enough he could see him again. it's not the case with Kiryu though. he didn't even get to see the body himself.
he's always on his phone reliving memories through photos and conversations. he freaks out when anyone touches the pocket cars and eventually the shirt gets worn out. he's spiraling while the others look on, unsure how to deal with someone whose entire personality revolves around having a fake one.
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Saejima takes initiative. maybe he's seen Majima like this before or maybe he hasn't. doesn't matter because he gives Majima a bit of tough love, telling him to get a grip. telling him that Kiryu wouldn't want to see him like this and, under his breath, he needs him in better shape so they can beat the shit outta whoever was responsible. it's not easy of course. it takes Majima awhile to learn how to live again and frankly he doesn't want to talk about Kiryu but Saejima forces him to - to get comfortable with mentioning him, enjoying the memories they had. letting him know it's okay to be vulnerable. it's not a kind or pleasant recovery but it's there. it's helping.
and perhaps some time under supervision, he goes to see Haruka and meets Haruto for the first time. he tries to keep a strong façade for her but she can see right through him and gets one of those rare moments where he's just quiet. where he's real. she catches him up on things and it's a rough one for the both of them, especially since he has to keep the visit short. she doesn't bother asking him where he's going afterward but he promises to keep in touch and that he does. she sends him a lot of photos and videos of the family and he backseat-parents Yuta whenever possible. Haruka's never been a fan of always having Kiryu at arms length but this arrangement helps her deal with the long distance since there's effort on both ends to stay close.
Majima's not used to having others around to help him cope but he eases into it decently enough without the Tojo Clan on his shoulders. he even gets along better with Daigo who has time now to focus more on himself and the grunge within his soul. he's a silly lil dork and that charm reminds him of Kiryu but in a way that doesn't send him spiraling. he starts to see all reminders of Kiryu in a more hopeful light, one that brings back his energy. for most of their home confinement, Majima wouldn't even go out as Goromi since half his confidence came from Kiryu's support. but now and then, with Saejima and Daigo backing him, he can tiptoe a bit back into his fav dresses, ones that Kiryu gave him, ones that hurt to put on because of the baggage they carry. he doesn't even have his wigs anymore so he assembles what he can, how he can into something he knows Kiryu would have called pretty regardless. it stills hurts but it helps.
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but, he'll always dip back into the pain of it all. missing intimacy and things taken for granted. he regrets his last words with Kiryu were criticisms knowing he's not perfect himself. maybe he's faced with realizations that he can't survive without certain people, that his attachment issues are brought to the forefront for everyone to see. it's ugly and embarrassing and for the first time in a long time he feels very seen. death's always been a reality for him and he's never cared much for it in regards to himself but losing someone so close, so suddenly? without closure or goodbyes? he's forced to deal with the frailty and mortality of someone he thought was invincible.
and it scares him.
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katerinaaqu · 2 months ago
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Unfortunately my mind came up with two more questions
1. More historic than classic texts related
Since men didnt marry until their 30s usually, and im very sure they did not tend to be THAT chaste nor was birth control safe or common (im assuming lol), what happened to illegitimate children? I'm guessing theyd stay with their mothers (who more commonly probably wouldnt be free citizens from all i could guess) if they didnt get abandoned (which probably ended deadly or in slavery often enough ig unless they got extremly lucky?) ....idk just a random shower thought x)
2. Actually text related, again Odyssey/Iliad bc the fixation is still fixating:
How do we know when Iliad/Odyssey was supposed to have happened? We roughly when Homer was supposed to have lived
But from what i remember from the one or two lectures I had on ancient history and troy, there are a bunch of inconsistencies of descriptions in homers work (iirc the example being used was a helmet not worn anymore at the time of writing) but they also mentioned that during Homers time they mightve seen the ruins and archeological finds of that time which he/the oral tradition couldve used as inspiration or more like, coming up with a story for these finds?
So what is that assumption of when it'd happened based on?
The descriptions , archeological finds (tho i think with the whole "did they find troy" story, they wouldve based their assumption of having found the city on the already established time frame of how old the city wouldve had to be), other text evidence? Cultural evidence?
DID Homer mix (to him) historic/archeological/cultursl finds AND (to him) current descriptions/customs/etc?
So many thoughts so many questions fjdjksjsdj
Im curious if/what you know about that, thank you again for your time!! ^^
Oh my! Thank you so much! Your questions are fire! Let's get down to it then! ^_^
Well I cannot say that really they DIDN'T get married before their 30s, it is just that this was considered the ideal age for them to marry
That is because in ancient Athens men had plenty of dues to fulfill to the city before settling for a life such as finishing their education or serving the army etc. In one essence it was considered the perfect time for them to be married given how they have finished all their dues towards the city and society but that doesn't necessarily imply they never got married before that age. It was just considered the ideal. Just like nowadays they say the ideal age for someone to have children is till roughly the mid-30s but that doesn't mean people do not have children early or later etc.
Oh that is a very good question. Indeed by n large the illegitimate children didn't have rights on the family's fortune and by n large they stayed with their mothers unless of course one would adopt them and recognize them officially but of course the status of the children differed massively depending on their parentage. For example if the illegitimate child (or Νόθος, Nothos, "bastard") was a product of two Athenean citizens or from an Athenean and a non-citizen (mētroxenoi) then of course the status was expected to differ. And that of course might have played much greater role for the time when the Athenean pure blood propaganda was high enough. One would expect that being illegitimate was a reason for someone to be stigmatized. Mythologically for example Odysseus was often called "Son of Sisyphus" being insulted that not only he was not legitimate son to Laertes but also a product of a man that was sinful and shameful. So even in myth it was a sign used for offending him (see also my random inspiration on Philoctetes where I partially use it) Historically they say that Diogenes the Cynical Philosopher mocked a boy that was born out of a prostitute who threw stones at public by yelling "Hey watch out you might hit your father!"
So being illegitimate was generally seen as a sign of shame for the individual. Most of information we have are from classical Athens for example the law of Solon Whichever woman her father or brother born of the same father or paternal grandfather should betroth on a just basis to be a wife (damar), from this woman the children are to be legitimate (gnēsioi). And we do see a series of laws as to who is considered illegitimate and what responsibilities or rights they bare. Other writers such as Aristpphanes also mention stuff even in their theatrical plays such as A nothos may not have the participation-right-of-close-relatives (anchisteia) if there are legitimate (gnēsioi) children. But if there are no legitimate children, then the estate is to be shared by the nearest kin. So by n large the illegitimate children have no right to the estate apart from those who were officially adopted although there seems to be a generally smaller amount of money called "notheia" that a father can leave to their bastard children if he sees it fit. I believe initially the illegitimate children still could hold some hope for succession but later on that was less and less possible to happen. Need to research more on that though. For example Plutarch mentions how a child that was born from an etaira (aka official concubine) shouldn't be even looking for their father anymore. Demosthenes also agrees Neither male bastard (nothos) nor a female bastard (nothē) may have participationright-of-close relatives (anchisteia) in the sacred and holy rites (hiera kai hosia) from the archonship of Euclid So yeah by n large we see a separation of the illegitimate chilren from their father unless the father seems to wish to adopt them. A classic example in Homer is Teucer and Ajax. Ajax is legitimate but Teucer even if he is older he is illegitimate. Ajax is the leader of the fleet of his city, Teucer's job is to support him instead and we can expect after Ajax's death Teucer was left alone with no kin due to his illegitimate status. The father usually recognized a child upon the tenth day of its birth in an official ceremony (decate) but that didn't automatically give them economical rites of succession, rather than religious ones. With the latter the classical athenean constitution basically considered anyone not owning land or rites of their family not useful for the prosperity of the land and so the bastard children fell often in this category since as it was above they rarely ever inherit their father's estate.
Which I find quite interesting given how many children in mythology are technically illegitiate born by some god or other and succeed. Quite possibly blood indeed runs thicker than water for high class bastard children over common ones I would suppose. Okay that is a very blunt analysis. I would be happy to search further in the future.
2. Yay! Here we go!
Okay the short answer would be; thanks to Schlieman! The dude dug up the city that we now know as Troy in the 19th century. Ever since the city was thoroughly examined by modern day archeologists and based on not only the descriptions in Homer but also the evidence provided from the city itself we do believe that Troy fell probably around 1200 BC. One key point is that we do not see for example in Homer Doriean greek tribes such as Macedonians or northern kingdoms of Epirus etc which are mentioned later as part of the campaigns of the greek heroes to the north such as Neoptlemous establishing the kingdom of Epirus or Odysseus traveling to Thesprotia to repent himself to Poseidon. We know the Doriean Greeks arrived to the area around 1100 BC so the fact that Homer doesn't include them in his narrative was an indicative of the time the war took place. It is also linked to the fights and wars that we believe happened among the greek kingdoms before the fall of Bronze Age kingdoms and the beginning of the "Dark Ages" at the Iron Age which was the time Homer lived in. Th layers of the city that we now know as Troy are very well preserved despite the fact that Schliman did a great deal of damage by digging deep. Archeologists have timed the layers they discovered based on evidence or stylistic details. The city itself named Troy is not just a hypothesis of modern archeology but it seems to be a roman hypothesis too given that we have found tablets from Roman times speaking on the city of Ilium/Troy. Possibly it was already a tourist attraction for the romans at that time given how it was their legendary origin city through Aeneas. Can we say with 100% certainty this is Troy? Perhaps not but we still have very good evidence to support it. Obviously we cannot be sure of the timespan given by Homer to my knowledge but it is safe to assume a war happened at that time in Troy we just establish it was probably a war over the control of the area the coastline and the crops and the passage with the east.
Homer is actually surprisigly accurate in some things (for ecample Meriones giving a boar tusk helmet to Odysseus and the helmet is very well described and fits the mycenaean counterparts) but yes he uses anachronisms a lot for example the mention of iron weapons in his narrative even if Iron was't widedly used at that time or round shields mentioned were more common in Homer's time than mycenaean times. The same goes with other weapons. It is more a case of anachronism rather than a case of inconsistency. We also see burial customs that are more consistent with Homer's time and later times as well rather than Mycenaean times. Or some politica ideals and so on such as the gatherings for voting among the kings or soldiers or the ideal of straightforward battle or being remembered in eternity which were all ideals we know were establishing by Homer's time but we do not know how much of it is true about the mycenaean times. Which makes sense given how Homer was mentioning things he and his audience were familiar with. Another we can see from subjects of shame and modesty such as Penelope covering herself in a veil for modesty. That we do not know if it was a thing in mycenaean times although in Homer's time we can assume it was more common which was done again in classical times where women should by n large be covered in the presence of men.
Yeah probably it was a mix of oral mythical traditions and historical traditions that survived from mouth to mouth given how we unfortunately do not have much written evidence from that time and since myth and history were often tangled together in ancient greek tradition it makes sense how both travel the same way. Homer probably hears the stories and the traditions and indeed mixes in some of the customs or details more familiar in his time and creates his story. Unfortunately given how the mycenaean scripts are scarce and all of them are logistics and not literature or history, is really hard to be 100% certain on their society and history but it does seem to be a very good amalgamation between history, myth and anachronysm. Homer also provides us so much detail on warfare and wounds that it is estimated he was at war possibly at a high position or that he was trained as a doctor among others. Many of the anatomical details he mentions are simply on point which makes it even more interesting as a hypothesis.
Obviously one cannot use Homer as a historical source to learn about the war of Troy but rather they can use it as a reference as to how these wars of the late Bronze Age Greece passed on to the immediate next generations a few hundred years later.
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