#when they didnt want to be those people but had to be and they arent even the oldest siblings they are both like 3rd youngest
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deadqueernoldor · 9 months ago
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Nghhh chewing on finweans and realizing how self-sacraficial is so deeply instilled in that family, and that that particular trait is prevalent in each generation.
Finwe knew he couldnt win against Morgoth, but he could try and protect his grandchildren. He fought regardless.
Fingolfin knew he couldnt twin against Morgoth in 1-on-1. He fought regardless.
Finrod knew he would die on his quest for Beren, and still fought the wolf to save his friend. He did.
Celebrimbor knew he could protect others by dying, protecting the knowledge about the rings. He did.
It stands to reason that Elladan, Elrohir or Arwen, would have come upon a similar fate.
#sometimes it just hits me with a sledgehammer like that family (esp the feanorian side) is portrayed as selfish a lot#(instert 'justice for caranthir for tslling Angrod to fucking stick with the people who arent hiding in Menegroth from Morgoth'-agenda)#(insert 'feanor was a selfish prick by abandoning the others in aman and forcing his sons to re-swear the oath upon his death' rant)#but i still think they are actually more opputunistic when you REALLY want to put a word ending with -istic there#feanor saw the opportunity to leave aman. fuck the brother he never liked. feanor only needs the people who'll be loyal to his family anyway#curufin saw the opportunity to get support form those of nagothrongld after he and celegorm had to flee like cowards from the dragons#which. for two people who i think have immense pride in their battle skill and strength must have been a HUGE ego blow#celegorm saw the opportunity to either: fuck over doriath and thingol by keeping luthien as political leverage (i dont think he's have#forced himself on her intimately. so fuck that. idc man. leave that shit away from me. he's an asshole but not a rapist imo anyway)#or: get a silmaril out of this mess SOMEHOW.#maedhros saw the opportunity of a possibly successful assault on angband after the silmaril quest of B+L and immediately began warplanning#and realistically speaking you cant tell me that maedhros didn't see the opportunity to casually drop the fact that it was HIS brothers and#HIMSELF holding basically all the eastern lands of beleriand in safety by closing off the Gap of Maglor while... where have you heard vague#rumours of turgon and ⅓ of the nolofinwean people maybe possibly not having died after suddenly disappearing? yeah. thought so.#just the opportunity to make slight political jibes available to shut anyone up about them being selfish#this is a weird post idk where this is going i stopped thinkig halfway though the second sentence#somehow that tag rant veered from self-sacraficial to opportunistic. didnt have that on my bingo card
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this-doesnt-endd · 8 months ago
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I used to have a really giant family like tons of tias and tios and cousins and i say used to cause like it seems like after my grandparents died on both sides both families seemed to never speak again and i had no chance to even try and keep hold of those ties i was in elementary school watching my parents marriage crash and burn in real time dealing with major death in the family and then subsequent family abandoning me at the tender age of 11. Hell my brothers were older and jumped ship it was just me and the horrors
#my moms dad and my dads mom were like the heads of their families and they both died really close to each other#but my grandma and a tio on my moms side died within 3 days of each other after being in hospice literally 3 doors away from each other#for months and my parents both took the roles of like taking care of everything and being the descision makers cause no one else would#which im sure was super traumatizing in everyway possible but their siblings both seemed to resent them in ways#when they didnt want to be those people but had to be and they arent even the oldest siblings they are both like 3rd youngest#but like it just ruined the families and me and mom and my dad were all at the hospital or hospice center for months#we were there every day and night i remember it so much i can get anywhere in any hospital in my town using the stairwells#like i knew them that well#it also likely ruined my parents marriage which was bumpy before the intense major tragedy#which like yaknow what fair it was a lot to deal with ontop of like trying to crawl ur way out of the recession#but after all was said and done i talk to no one on my dads side i bearly talk to my older brother#and i talk to like my nina and two tias on my moms side and occassionally a few cousins#when theyre arent being fucking insane and unhinged#idk i loved having a huge family the like going to 5 houses on christmas type#going to birthdays or weddings and seeing everyone taking at least 45 mins to say bye to everyone#and now its gone and i wont ever get it back#and its by no fault of my own cause i was literally 11 and every adult decided i was gonna pay the price too#like i think abt when i get married its not gonna be what i thought itd be or when i get my first movie in theatres#im not gonna have the major family celebration ill have all my friends which im so greafull for#but its not the same yaknow#and id love to have that relatiomship with my family again but like where do u start when its been over 10+ years#like they remember 11 year old me if they remember me#and thats part of the problem#like on my moms side specifically i have some family who acts like theyve never met me before when i used to see them every weekend#and it was a major failing on my part as an 11 year old for not keeping in touch even tho we did my mom calls everyone and she tried#but people didnt want to return it#and as for my dads side its the same and if it was a moral failing for me as an 11 yr old to not reach out and they didnt like my mom much#my grandma fucking loved her but the rest of the family didnt and like i lived w my mom and was fucking 11 i couldnt go anhwhere by myself#and i didnt like not being places without a parent and i hated sleepovers i refused and they took it so personal#and they stopped talking to my dad and bad mouthed him and still do nd ill never allow that around me my dad isnt perfect but hes a good man
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arionawrites · 1 year ago
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how tf did me facetiming someone i matched with on tinder turn into them giving me unsolicited advice about giving people your full attention after i already let them know that i recently got diagnosed as adhd and it’s hard for me to focus on just one thing/person and then them telling me that “based on my behavior” they think i’m autistic like ?? didn’t ask, we literally started messaging each other like a day ago, even if i am autistic (which wouldn’t be a bad thing if i am) when has it ever been socially acceptable to tell someone you JUST MET that you think they’ve got some kind of mental disorder/illness/disability/etc.
my friends have mentioned that i might be autistic and that’s fine bc i’ve spent a lot of time with them and they actually know me and i take their perspective of me very seriously because they’re the people who see me 100% unfiltered and have known me whenever i’ve been completely unmedicated. i trust their word.
this person from tinder, however, i have sent like maybe 20-30 messages to where we talked about nanowrimo and i was like omg it’d be so cool to meet someone who also writes, whether it’s as friends or as more, i would love that—only for our facetime call to be less than 20 minutes long and for them to try and diagnose me as autistic just because i, after ALREADY TELLING THEM that i have adhd and after them asking about meds and me telling them that i haven’t taken my adhd meds today because i didn’t have work and also i’ve taken multiple naps today which has made my head even more foggy and made it even harder than usual to focus, found it difficult to focus.
like. i wasn’t unresponsive. i wasn’t ignoring them. i was listening and i was responding, i just also was looking between my phone and my laptop screen.
which okay i understand that maybe i’m just frustrated because of the “based on your behavior” comment because an 18 minute facetime call does not give someone enough interaction time to try and fucking diagnose me as anything, and maybe this is more of a we just didn’t vibe and that’s fine, i don’t think they’re like a bad person or anything and if nothing else i’m glad the mismatched vibes were felt before deciding to meet up or anything, but also.
eighteen minutes. literally eighteen minutes and they fucking “based on your behavior i think you’re autistic” and “here’s some advice, when meeting new people you should give them your full attention”
FUCK that.
#idk maybe they’re also autistic and thought it was supposed to be helpful? and again i dont think they’re a bad person#and esp if they are some kind of neurodivergent they might not have realized how that comment could come across#so i’m trying not to take it too personally bc 1. i dont rlly know them 2. they dont rlly know me and 3. it has no heavy impact on my life#but also like idk it just was weird and even if they didnt intend to comment to come across like that#i can still be uncomfortable and upset about it#anyways moving on this is why i barely ever open tinder in the first place lmaooo#aricomplains#also like they probably arent all that wrong to be fair#i know it can come across as rude to not put ur full focus on someone esp someone you’ve just met and that is something i want to work on#it just felt weird that i literally explained i have adhd and its hard to focus and i promised them its nothing personal if i struggle#to focus on them while talking and like AFTER i said that they tried to give me that ‘advice’ like i hadnt already addressed it#idk i understand how my actions might have come across as rude or something but if someone told me they had adhd and struggled to focus#i would immediately know not to take it personally if they’re like fidgeting or on their phone while i talk or smth#which i also get is not something everyone has to do too like no one is required to react the same and#blah i’m overthinking this i need to stop#basically: i understand how my part in the ft call might have come across and i addressed it and tried to focus as much as i could#and if they took my lack of focus as rude i understand why and i also understand my ability to focus on people’s something i need to work on#but also the way they approached it rubbed me wrong and those comments made me uncomfortable and upset#but again i started talking to them yesterday and have no obligation to talk to them again so#take this as a lesson and a reminder of why i need to keep working on my ability to focus on people better when talking to them#and also take this as a reminder as to the kind of people i want to spend time with and thats not people who give passive aggressive advice#or try to diagnose someone they JUST met#and then take those lessons and reminders with me as i move on#ok im done now im gonna unmatch w them on tinder and also maybe just delete tinder entirely bc i barely use it anyway and would rather#try to meet people in more authentic ways#honestly my hope is that now that i’m spending like 3 days a week at the library in between shifts#i might meet another library-going sapphic and that would be VERY lovely 🥰
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realbacchus · 2 years ago
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I miss 2017 so bad. 17/18 year old me was so excited to go to uni and have a good time and I was getting piercings and going to concerts and generally just living being surrounded by people. Now I have like 1 close friend, half the people I thought would be proud of me are apathetic at best, 2020 happened, I'm resented for going to school by my own parent. Idk what went wrong but something sure did. Nothing like busting your ass for 4 years only to not be able to talk about it or be happy about it.
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malkaviian · 2 years ago
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i have a headache but also i dont want to go to sleep just yet dkjnfjds i want me-time
(warning: as i was writing the tags of this post this turned into another kinda-heavy rant about the situation my group of friends and i are. so keep that in mind)
#things were weird today when She(tm) was there but when she left things were normal again#but these hours were kinda stressful rip or more like... there was an inherent discomfort and tension in the air#with some ugly commentaries and actions on her part. like its your (supposed) best friend's birthday at least try to hide your disgust 👍#birthday you ~apparently~ forgot until it the day before. also you didnt had a single penny to spend on the gift for him#but you sure as hell had it to go eat with your college friends to expensive places! girl at least dont post about it on insta#and just in case; this wasnt a '*goes to expensive places before* -oh i dont have money sowwy :(('#this was a '-oh i dont have money sowwy :(( *goes to expensive places after it*'#what we were asking for collaboration was way less than what she spent on those places. it was AT THE VERY LEAST 3000 ars per food#and you know what she wanted to give for the gift? 500 ars!!! you cant buy shit with it; let alone if we only collaborated with 500 each#like she wanted. we're 4; genuine question what kinda shit can you buy for $2000. maybe a good quality cup but we already gave him that#but even then the point is not the money; the thing is the attitude. you cant spend more than $500 on us#but you can spend at least $6000 on your other friends; given you went to eat with them two days in a row. priorities i guess?#OH! and talking about it!! can you fucking believe she INVESTIGATED the phone of our ~new~ friend (the one shes jealous of)#and DEADASS said 'oh i see. my mom has an A51'. our friend has an A20 if im not wrong; which might not be an A51 but its. still expensive??#also your mom has an A51 but you have an iPhone 5 since you were on high school. but hey; apple i am right?? inherently better than an A20#sorry i have less than that; i have an A10s (that i got on the start of 2020). can i still breathe the same air as you and your mom /s#once again the problem is not the money or the phone or WHATEVER. its the fucking attitude shes having. you want to pretend you have money#and act like youre superior to people who 'dont'; when in reality YOU ARE MIDDLE CLASS. YOU ARENT UPPER CLASS; NOT EVEN UPPER-MIDDLE CLASS#YOURE MIDDLE CLASS. MIDDLE CLASS LIKE THE REST OF US; NOT LIKE YOUR COLLEGE FRIENDS YOU LOVE SO MUCH AND WANT TO IMPRESS#YOU SPEND MONEY YOU DEFINITELY DONT HAVE BECAUSE YOU WANT TO APPEAR UPPER-MIDDLE AT THE VERY LEAST. but thats a lie#a lie that if these beloved friends bothered to ACTUALLY know even the slightest about you; like we do; would fall apart. but they wouldnt!#because they dont care about you as much as we care(d). do you think they will tolerate this fucking attitude youre having towards us?#no they wouldnt. trust me; they WOULDNT. they will tell you to fuck off and leave you completely alone. go cry a river.#god fucking dammit why are you like this. WHY you turned like this. or rather; why we were SO GODDAMN blind we didnt noticed this before#negative
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trujellyfish · 2 months ago
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last night while chatting with my sister she mentioned this time in grade school when she and another girl happened to wear the same shirt on the same day and the other girl was like "oh my gosh so embarrassing" and insisted on wearing her jacket the rest of the day
and my sister's emotional response was "damn this bitch is insecure wtf"
and i was like o.o that's so fucking healthy of you because i IMMEDIATELY would have started questioning why I was the problem in that situation
"why do you think it's embarrassing to wear the same shirt as me? it's bc im ugly isnt it :("
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mx-paint · 1 year ago
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#spoilers for the sandman comics#so there was a person who sent an ask to another saying how they didnt want to read the comic#but like. the reasons they gave was that delirium was a sexualized teen???? that played a part of dreams death????#like. i wasnt the only one confused on this either#bc someone else in the comics was asking what they meant#but the op of the post also never read the comic (but does know of some of the other characters in comic)#so they just agreed#but. im so confused on what they meant#as someone who read the comic i can agree that del had some dubious like age expressions. but not one that was. sexualized.#when you first meet her she comes off as more of a young adult in her 20s in appearance#plus the casting call is for someone in the young adult range.#there is a scene where shes talking about her people (the delirious) and is in the form of a immigrant child. but its. not sexualized???#im. really confused.#there is some art but i dont remember those being the comics#the one i can think off the top of my head is delights image#where shes covered in like. a ink like dress#there is a image that i think is from the comic of her showing a nipple but like. she doesnt look like a child. or a teen.#and the other ones like that that are suggestive photos. arent from the comic#but also. delirium definitely didnt want dream to die lmao#so i think this person is either misunderstanding the sources theyre getting#or seeing some of the source and assuming thats what it is#like i will agree that that one image if it is from the comic (which like. since it looks more like a mashup of coraline.) is reathwr bad#but also not everyone with a small chest is a child. im not going to go into that though.#google images does recognize this imsge as being from sandman it just doesnt say if its actually there#and etsy is the only thing that has anything of it but its a book gallery of sandman that is fanart#but it is also. a image of her on wiki (though that doesnt mean much)#if it seems like im rambling i just am deep in looking for this bc no artist is even listed for it anywhere#and ive never really seen them do something like that straight up to a perceived child character
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soularsss · 3 months ago
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Drawing Likeness: with Tem!
okaay since a few people actually showed interest in me sharing a bit of what I've been doing to figure out how to really capture likeness, specifically Temuera Morrison, I figured id do my best to write it out
I am also going to entice you with some of my recent clone art! (oooh some of it is unreleaaasedd)
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I am putting the whole thing under the cut because I have a feeling its going to be long:
Read more!!!
a couple disclaimers before we start
-This is not some definite post about how everyone should be drawing clones, nor is it in any way claiming that this is the right way. This is just my musings as I stare at a mans face for way too long and try to replicate it
-I am inexperienced. As kind as you all are to me, drawing real people is relatively new to me, capturing a persons identity through their features is difficult for anybody, and I am no different. I have watched many a video on likeness and had my share of classes, but If im being honest, i rarely put it into practice successfully. So there'll probably be errors in this post or things i will come back to in a few months and wish I had said/done differently
ANYWAYs you guys get my vibe im just here to ramble and today we are rambling about mr copy paste. I am doing this for Law, my clone boy, because I plan on delving further into oc fanart and I want to put effort into representing him correctly!
SO LETS BEGIN
Before even deciding what specific pose of a person I want to draw, I tend to grab a bunch of references and compile them like so
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(all of these can be found on my pinterest)
Why so many? Well, we are about to delve into facial features, so when we are dealing with photos we have to take into account that there are an abundance of circumstances that will influence how a persons face will appear, some of these include:
focal length: All of these are taken on different devices, and focal length can play a big part in distorting faces
age will play a part, your face changes a bunch throughout your life!
lighting, while not as major, can muddy the waters and make it difficult to interpret facial planes and features
SO, to make sure we get a proper grasp of what's really going on, I like to make sure we have lots of options to compare and contrast with.
Next up! What I like to do is block out the main facial features with colour on different layers, the features I block out usually are the general face shape, eyebrows, eyes, nose and lips. But what you are looking for is the defining features of a person, so that could include other things! Maybe a scar, or some particularly prominent cheekbones.
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I dont have any rhyme or reason when it comes to picking my colours, all that matters is you can see all the shapes clearly.
Now I may be biased, because Ive been staring at these for 4 hours, but notice how it still looks like Tem? :D
Anyways, now we can break these parts down, and you'll see what I mean about compare and contrast:
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We'll start with isolating the facial shape, putting all these next to eachother you'll notice they arent exactly the same (partly because of my shoddy work) But the distinguishing features run through each shape! Namely the very soft rectangular shape I sketched out in the bottom right there. Along with his soft, wide jaw structure.
I did the same for the rest of his features!
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You'll notice I highlight the prominent shapes and ratios,
When drawing anything, it is important to start from the very base shapes and build up.
When drawing something you want to look like someone, those shapes relative to other shapes is what makes it look like them.
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I didnt use the same technique with his eyes and lips, but I wrote out some helpful info for them! More importantly for his eyes.
When drawing eyes, I find the most important part is where exactly I draw the creases, (along with the overall shape of the eye itself) it is important to understand where those will present themselves with hooded eyes.
NOW, with an understanding of his facial features in place, lets take a detour to colours:
before I start, a couple things to note:
-Temuera morrison versus the clone troopers in the animated shows:
While I love the animated shows they don't exactly stay close to their source material. Im going to link here to an excellent post discussing whitewashing specifically in relation to the clones.
Temuera is Māori, of Te Arawa (Ngāti Whakaue) and Tainui (Ngāti Maniapoto, Ngāti Rarua) whakapapa, and also has Scottish and Irish ancestry.
The Māori people are the indigenous Polynesian people of mainland New Zealand (Aotearoa). Māori originated with settlers from East Polynesia. Māori people often vary in skin tone, Skin colour doesn't determine ethnicity. There's often a correlation but it's not a requirement.
But that is a tangent! What we are aiming for is to stay true to Temuera.
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Bringing back my reference photos from before, Ive colour picked a buncha values and theyre all over the place. Why doesnt this work?
Similarly to earlier, you have to take into account the photos themselves. Many things like lighting, colour grading (when it comes to filmography) and makeup, can alter how a skin colour presents in photo.
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You can attempt to get true to life by swatching from certain places on the face. Here I've tried to pick some photos with good lighting, and I've also tried to avoid overly lit/shaded areas.
Tem has a very warm, tan skin tone, Instead of colour picking I tend to try and replicate it myself, but I do often bring in references to make sure Im staying true to the source!
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a brief intermission to talk about colour theory, something I myself struggle with alot. Often, when putting in flat colours without a background, I will forget to make sure the colours i intend to use will work with the skin tone i have picked! (something that is apparent in older works of mine, not just in relation to clones, but in general, the colours I end up with stray largely from their original sources and it is something I am doing my best to keep in mind and improve in! Although I don't think i am nearly experienced enough in the topic to say I have succeeded yet lol.)
anyways back to Tem :))
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Now we can put all of that into practice! Things to keep in mind when drawing out a piece next to a reference like this:
the distance between the eyebrows? how far down his face does his nose go? Basically just, in relation to eachother, where do all those shapes we found earlier, sit?
The screenshot above is from before I did it myself, but instead of directly tracing from the reference, a handy trick I use it to complete your sketch first, and then overlay a traced version to see where your inconsistencies are! Alternatively, you could move your sketch over the image, but I didnt do it that way so!! uh!! im sure it works exactly the same!!!!
When it comes to a final illustration, or any sketch that isnt a direct study, of course you can push and pull and stylise! You'll see below that I'm not exactly 1:1 to my reference photo either.
The important thing with stylisation, or at least my own personal understanding of stylisation is that you need to thoroughly understand the thing you are stylizing! "You need to know the rules to break them" and all that. While shapes, lines and rendering can change, when it comes to drawing someone, and making it look like them, you have to make sure to keep their core features true to source. Caricature can capture a persons vibe whilst drastically exaggerating features, but it will only look like them if you KEEP THOSE FEATURES!!!! SHAPES!!! AHHH!!
But that is just my perspective on the discussion of style versus realism, please dont take is as Law, I dont know what Im on about half the time!!
anyways, after fixing your sketch, add local colours!
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I rexified him because why tf not! But this is where you can go crazy with that clone personalization!
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And then here is a very very barely rendered version (if you guys want me to explain how i RENDER that would need to be a completely different post, and I havent had anyone ask about it yet so who knows! maybe one day) But I digress, hopefully you learnt something new through my ramblings! It has certainly helped me organize my thoughts and I have also found some areas I would like to focus more on in the future to improve my own art!
TLDR: In order to understand an object, be it a face or a building or literally anything, you have to break it down to its simplest forms, understanding LARGER shapes will help you immensely in the long run
If you guys like this sorta content do let me know! I'd be down to do similar things for armor/anything really, I am very anti gatekeep so really anything at all you want to know! Send me an ask :))
also if you see a spelling mistake.. i don’t know how that got there
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ramons-elevator · 1 year ago
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*SLAMS HANDS ON DESK*
FUCKING PHILS POV
Everything about his POV was bone chilling holy shit. Also fucking shoutout to the admins for picking Chayanne and Tallulah bc that was a really smart move.
For some context for those who arent Philza watchers:
Tallulah and Chayanne obey Phil. Yes they can be divas sometimes and be dumb and silly, but they arent like their siblings like Dapper and Richas who will just be dramatic and do dumb and dangerous stuff when their parents dont feel 100% okay with it. They will throw a fit but still be respectful of Phil’s word.
Phil said multiple times to them, especially Tallulah, to not go to the dinner no matter what. That as soon as it hits 2pm PST, they get tucked into bed and they can wake up after if they want. Chay and Lullah both agreed bc they both fear dying. Tallulah wants to see her dad and Chayanne knows how hard his dad works to make sure they are safe.
Let me fucking tell you how creepy it was seeing Tallulah walk into the dinner.
Phil immediately questioned her and was like “what the fuck you doing? We both agreed you would stay in bed.” and when ‘Tallulah’ just stared at him and shook her maracas, you could feel the air still.
Personally, it felt like a bucket of ice water got dumped on me. Phil literally froze. Because thats not fucking Tallulah. Tallulah is calculated, gentle, and slow moving. The ‘Tallulah’ at the dinner was shaking her maracas without a care in the world, running around. Also Tallulah will talk to Phil and they check in on each other. The ‘Tallulah’ at the dinner didnt put down a sign once.
Then as Phil was realizing that Tallulah wasn’t Tallulah, then ‘Chayanne’ comes in. At this point Phil realized that both ‘Tallulah’ and ‘Chayanne’ dont have cracks. Phil straight up looks at ‘Chayanne’ and says “You are fake, you arent my son.” Also same thing with Tallulah, Chayanne and Phil check in with each other. They are a well oiled machine. Phil knows Chayanne like the back of his hand and vise versa.
To be fair, Chayanne isnt an egg of many words. He likes action and just nods/shakes of his head when talking. If need be he will place a sign down, but he doesnt talk as much as Tallulah. So it isnt hard to impersonate him.
But the second, ‘Chayanne’ started punching Phil was again bone chilling. Chayanne rarely hits Phil, maybe once or twice from the top of my head. Again, Chay and Lulah are very respectful of Phil. If they need his attention, they do other ways. They dont hit.
And thats when Phil let Fit know that something was wrong. Those werent his kids. That they are fakes. Around that time, Phil runs home and sees that his actual kids are sleeping. He takes a photo, runs back, and fucking shows ‘Chayanne’. Phil lets the fakes know that he knows and he doesnt give a shit.
At some point, Phil and Fit talk again and ‘Chayanne’ runs up and tries to take the photo from Phil. Phil basically said fuck off and went back to his seat.
The part I find so fucking eerie was that Fit and ‘Chayanne’ had a lil talk. ‘Chayanne’ put down a sign that said something along the lines of “My dad doesnt love me anymore”.
That sign literally made me start to freak out because thats the fucking last thing the real Chayanne thinks. The real Chayanne knows that his dad loves him to death. That Phil would burn this server to the ground if anything bad happened to Chayanne. Chayanne knows that Phil does everything in his power to keep his son alive. He knows how much Phil worries about him and Tallulah (both the characters and the admins).
Going back to what I said at the start, the admins were so fucking smart for picking Chayanne and Tallulah to be the ‘Code eggs’.
People outside of Phil, Fit, Bad, and maybe Forever/Cellbit dont really spend time with Chayanne and Tallulah. Yes, other people do care after them and know them, but they really dont know their mannerisms and quirks. They dont know that Tallulah only shakes her Maracas when she is very excited or have something to say. They dont know that, while Chayanne can be hyper, he usually is very obedient and stays close to Tallulah when he can.
So putting them in a party where the attention isnt on them 100% time is so smart. They can run around and people dont think about it. They just see two eggs running around and having fun. They dont know how wrong it is to see them like that.
Then when the ‘Code eggs’ made themselves known, Phil got kicked. Again very smart from the admins because no one wanted to kill ‘Chayanne’ and ‘Tallulah’ even though they were obviously Codes. Even Fit, who Phil told over and over again that those arent his kids, hit the Codes once or twice but stopped because he didnt wanna take that risk. No one wanted to take the chance of hurting an egg. It gave the ‘Code eggs’ time to kill Charlie and try to kill others.
But the second Phil joins back, he is screaming that those arent his kids and to kill them. That they were impostors. Even then, they let Phil kill the Code eggs.
Then when Code Tallulah died, everyone stepped back and let Phil 1v1 Code Chayanne.
Im so impressed with the admins and the people who played the fake Chayanne and Tallulah. They did such a good job of putting a spear of ice through my heart. 100/10 Bravo
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corvidcall · 2 years ago
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ive been a halfhearted dnd defender for a minute, bc i was really involved in indie ttrpg twitter for a while and I Am Not Anymore because frankly. it just got too hostile and crab bucket-y. a lot of people acting like critical role or dimension 20 were opposing them by playing a game that had widespread brand recognition (and also getting mad whenever critrole played something OTHER than dnd. i haven't forgotten how hostile everyone i knew in that scene was when critrole played monster hearts. like what do you want??) or like people who play dnd are popular jocks and people who play indie games are bullied nerds. when actually we're all nerds. nobody is cool here.
and i would especially get frustrated when people would recommend games to play instead of dnd that are not at all a comparable experience, or didnt have the same things people liked in dnd. sure, you could play Masks if you want to play a superhero game instead of just reskinning DnD, but Masks is about teens, and the fact that you're playing as teens is core to the mechanics, so it's not a good suggestion for someone who wants to play as adult superheroes. sure you can suggest someone play Blades in the Dark if they want to play a heist team, but BitD is incredibly punishing! every time ive played it, it felt almost impossible to get a full success at anything. that can be fun, if that's the kind of game you want, but if i want to play a game where i feel cool and like im good at things, then BitD is not a good replacement! I cant tell you how many times I've seen people say that you don't need to just reskin dnd when there are games that are more specifically tailored to the experience you want, and then in the same breath act like the games they're suggesting ARENT specific actually and can be used to craft any kind of experience you want. Is the genre baked into the mechanics, or isnt it? because it cant be both!
and thats not even getting into when people would suggest replacements that aren't even close. a lot of "dnd sucks nobody should ever play dnd. instead of dnd, why don't you play MY game, where youre a couple thats getting married in 2 months and you're still planning your wedding?" like... why would i play that instead of dnd, if i want to play dnd? those have nothing in common, beyond the fact that theyre both tabletop games. it's like saying "Instead of watching Star Wars, you should watch Get Out!" sure, they're both MOVIES, and Get Out is GOOD, but i think to suggest that someone who wants to watch Star Wars would have an equal if not better experience watching Get Out instead devalues both. They're not interchangeable because they're trying to do entirely different things
So I would get incredibly frustrated when people acted like people who were choosing to play DnD were just making a mistake, and that they couldn't possibly be getting anything out of playing that game specifically
ALL THAT BEING SAID wizards of the coast sucks ass and they can clean my balls. they should get put in the stocks and i should get to pelt them with tomatoes. i like playing in the sword and sorcery fantasy setting, and dnd was always my go-to game for that because Dungeon World is the worst game I've ever played (i can think of one or two other games in the same sort of setting, but i haven't tried them or met anyone willing to run them) but ah well. WotC can eat shit for this copyright bullshit
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breezybangtanbebe · 2 months ago
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ExBoyfriendNamjoon was a little pathetic if you were being honest. Dig through that hard-bodied exterior, and you’d find that he’s as gummy as puddy when it came to you. Two years of being with him and putting up with the crazy schedules, lack of communication due to them, having to jump through hoops to conceal your relationship , all while dating rumors with other people in the industry didnt bode too well for the union in the end.
So when you’d had enough of his aloofness and emotional unavailability, walking away from him was mostly hard because he made it that way.
The extravagant gifts he’d send.
The endless late night calls and drunk texts.
The pop ups at your home.
The dead look in his tired eyes that pinned you with his repetitive questions.
“Why wont you talk to me?”
“Why cant we work this out?”
“Why did you just leave without hearing me?”
It was always the same.
But it was never something you minded when his insistence landed him between your legs, mumbling his pleas against your pussy.
Namjoon’s tongue felt like velvet against your puffy folds and you laid there spread for him on your bed with a hand resting against his spiky blonde buzz cut.
This was a new look for him but you weren't mad at it.
“Hmm?” you tucked your lips together and hummed partially for him to repeat what he’d just said, while also reacting to his skilled tongue on your clit.
Namjoon pauses licking you to lift his head.
“I said, just fucking come back to me already.” his voice thick and deep from emotion. It does a few things to you, your heart aching at the sadness in his tone. It also made your walls clench around the fingers paused inside of you that had been rubbing at your spot teasingly while he ate.
You lean up on your elbow as you panted, your own voice hoarse from moaning, and give your ex a quizzical look.
“Why should I? Youre the one who pushed me away..”
Namjoon should have expected such a response but he still seems confused.
“What do you mean? Im here arent I? Why would I push you away?”
You sigh.
This wasnt the time for another back and forth session with Kim Namjoon, the fucking debate king. He was just nose deep in your cunt a second ago, licking your towards a much needed orgasm after the week you’d had. Hell, if you knew letting him come over would result in a rehash of the last 2 months, you would have left him on read.
Being horny on a dull Saturday night with your ex was dangerous waters to be in.
“Y-you always do this! Namjoon, I..” you try to begin but the words morph into a sharp gasp and moan when those damned lips of his latch on to your clit. He suckles it in pulses while tapping it with the tip of his tongue. His two long middle and index fingers resume plunging in and out of you, pressing upwards to stimulate you exactly where he knew you needed.
“Oh shit..” you inhale sharply, your jaw dropping and brows pinching together while your hand pressed flat against the back of Namjoon’s head.
He groans and closes his eyes when you pressed him harder against your heat, his free hand coming up to lay flat against your tummy.
He had you fully naked while he’d only shed his shirt before getting down to business, so you knew his dick was hard and leaking in the confines his underwear and sweats.
Part of you wanted him in your mouth too, missing the taste of his pre cum and the weight of his girth on your tongue. But you knew he didnt deserve that type of treatment right now.
Hell, he knew that. Hence why he was working so hard on making you come undone all over his face.
The desperation was palpable with every sloppy kiss, lick, and suck against your swollen clit, and Namjoon’s fingers were pushing you towards dangerous heights. Your brain was close to going blank and settling in the type of head space where he could ask you anything and you’d leave your ego out of the answer.
“Please. Come back to me. Everything will be different. Dont you miss me? Dont you miss this?” he mumbled hurriedly after pulling off of your clit, his fingers steadily rubbing your g-spot.
Your keening is all you can manage, both of your hands now fisting at the sheets under you.
“Yes..fuck yes..” you slur, not even sure of what youre saying. Namjoon kept his eyes on your fucked out expression as he dove back in, lapping his long tongue over your clit a few more times.
“Yeah? Miss the way I make you feel? Miss the way I eat this pussy baby?”
His words were doing exactly what they were meant to do, push you into that blank space of lust drunkenness with a heightened desperation to cum.
And you knew you would. You always did. Namjoon was the type of man that wouldn't let up until you were shaking and calling his name, roughing him up with your nails dragging through his short cut.
He would always moan with you when you came, his husky groan vibrating against your pussy and damn near overstimulating you. His tongue slows its circles of infinity over your sensitive bud and the full warmth of his mouth smothers your pussy as he savors the taste of your fresh release.
One would think it was a fine wine the way it warmed his body and made the urge to pull his dick out and stroke it with your wetness on his fingers overwhelming.
“Fuck..” he exhaled at the thought, dragging his tongue up and down your seam to coax you back down from wherever his mouth had sent you. Your body goes limp, the hand that returned to Namjoon’s head sliding down the side of his face.
When you opened your eyes and gaze down at him, youre shocked to find his eyes just as teary as yours.
You sit up on your elbow again and frown worriedly down at your ex.
“Joon..” you call to him with what little of a voice you have at the moment, and your hand idles at his cheek.
His languid licks are replaced by tender kisses on your lower lips, then to your inner thigh. Then your palm. His lips are pillow soft and swollen from how passionately he was eating you, and they do little to ease you away from being stimulated towards wanting to cum all over his face again. He takes mercy on you though, leaning into your caress with his earnest eyes still locked with yours.
“I know Im a fucking mess. And I know how hard it is to be with someone like me..” Namjoon starts, holding your full attention.
“You deserve so much more. But I'm too selfish..I dont want anyone else to have you. I want...I need you to myself..” he sniffles.
You were still chasing your next breath when your fingers began stroking his face. Your thumb catches a fat tear that managed to escape and it inspires another to fall from his opposite eye.
Namjoon wasnt a crier. While he was emotionally expressive (usually through his music), it was very rare for him to allow himself to cry.
Especially in front of you.
Something you’d always resented.
“Joonie..” you sit up and Namjoon’s wide hands lift your legs from over his shoulders.
“I dont blame you for walking away.” he shakes his head, stopping you from speaking before he could lay all of his feelings bare.
“..but I just needed you tonight. Im enlisting soon and..and I just...” his voice breaks, the fear and smothering emotions seizing is tongue. You shush him immediately and scoot towards the edge of the bed to embrace him.
The two of you remained in this suggestive position with Namjoon on his knees at the edge of your bed,his large arms hugging your naked waist with his head resting on your tummy. You were fully sitting up now with your hands running over his back and over his head affectionatley.
Truth was, you did miss Namjoon. Terribly. It killed you to catch clips of his lives and seeing how tired and dejected he looked. How it seemed like he’d lost weight and wasnt sleeping or eating well. You knew he’s been drinking more often, and the scent of cigarettes mixing with his cologne let you know he’d picked up that habit again. It was clear that he’d been a mess without you.
And to be even more honest, you werent doing that hot yourself.
But there were just too many issues to work through with him that you both knew he’d never have the time to do with the type of career he has.
Tonight didn't need to be about that though.
Tonight, you were perfectly fine with allowing Namjoon to pleasure you since he knew exactly what you liked.
You both needed that.
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anotherfloridaman · 2 months ago
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In the Stronghold
(How they found you)
You thought that was it. It didnt matter if someone tried to talk the town out of it, it was gonna happen anyway. Not that anyone would try to. They’re all just happy it’s not them who has to go to the jaws of the forest.
They tied you to a mast. It sticks straight from the dirt when one of the law enforcement comes and cuts off your clothes with a knife. You hang by your hands, as bare as the day you were born while the people walk away, praising one another for a job well done. Surely the beasts would like the sacrifice.
Your mouth was sewn shut. The pain and anger you felt unsaid as the wire holds your lips together and keeps you from even moving your tongue unless you want to disturb the wounds.
As minutes turn to hours, ants find their way on your skin, mosquitoes suck the blood from you, and other insects fly around like you were meant for them instead of the bigger beasts.
And damn, when the moon is full and illuminating your figure, you wish those little beasts could actually kill you. A fox comes sniffing, and it nips at your foot, testing to see if it’s a trap. When nothing happens, it snaps it’s jaw around your ankle, tugging eagerly until a thunderous laugh comes from the forest.
You couldnt care less. You felt itchy everywhere, pain from where the ants bite and crawl, the mosquitoes not giving you peace, you just hope whatever death is, it releases you from all of this.
——————————————————————————
“Rak’ka, calm down. We got the bear, we can leave the cub alone.” Shwola sighs, blinking slow. “No! It’s too small, we shouldn’t have killed the mother.”
“That wasnt the mother, it was a male. And it’s almost fully grown, it’s fine alone.” Shwola snorts, knowing Rak’ka’s bleeding heart isn’t always helpful.
Rak’ka looks in a tiny bush, and he knows the bear ‘cub’ cant fit there, but he pokes his head inside anyway. A wild cat jumping into his face and clawing at him as it scampers off into the woods. Shwola booms with laughter, pointing at Rak’ka like he’d done this on purpose.
And a fox zooms by, catching both of them off guard.
“Shwola, those annoying pests dont do that often, do they?” The yonger orc asks, looking the direction the fox came from. “No. Not unless they have something they arent supposed to, or they want to lead something away from what they found or have.”
“Did we just scare a fox from it’s children?! We have to help!” Rak’ka bolts in the direction near the edge of the forest. And at this point, Shwola is sure Rak’ka just wants something small to take care of.
Shwola follows Rak’ka to… wherever and they see-
“Is that a human?” They both say at once, and you dont even lift your head. You cant understand them. And you doubt they would understand you even if your lips were free.
As the orcs draw closer, speaking in their native tongue, you are left to contemplate when they will be merciful or if they’ll reject you altogether. A large hand brushes your skin, the big fingers pushing the ants and mosquitoes away as it feels you.
“It doesnt appear sick. The insects wouldve left it alone. So why is..” Shwola interrupts him, crossing his arms. “A prisoner, A sacrifice, It was left here for some odd reason.”
Rak’ka pauses, thinking. Then reaches for the ropes and rips them off your hands, picking you up and laying you on one massive arm. “A sacrifice for us. I’ll take it.”
“Did you not hear the part about prisoner? Maybe an outlaw that did unspeakable things-“ “our sacrifice needs to be cared for, i will take that duty for however long it may take.”
You could move your hands, and as soon as you could, you itched. You itched everywhere you could as fast as possible and that wasnt very fast considering you had almost no bloodflow going to your arms since that afternoon.
Rak’ka sees this, and begins rubbing his calloused hand across your back, trying to soothe you and help the injuries get feeling back. Shwola only rubs his nose, walking back to the Stronghold and leaving Rak’ka to trail behind him.
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the-s1lly-corner · 1 year ago
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hi! if you're feeling up to it, may i request tadc cast reuniting with the reader after escaping the digital circus? (not sure if caine would work though, sorry caine fans ;_;) tysm! btw, A+ gif choices :>
Reunited! (TADC cast x reader!)
Except Caine <|3 I kept putting this up because I uh uh
Kinda kept forgetting <\3 I'm so sorry anon 😭😭
This ended up more so being what you guys get up to after reuniting in the real world!
Written on mobile!
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POMNI:
Sure she may have wanted to escape the digital world... a lot... but she never thought she would actually escape, and with everyone else too..! So that's nice! Imagine her shock when by pure chance she runs into you. More so shocked than anything, but relieved.. she was so tied up from being free again that she didnt realize how much she missed you.. it feels.. weird holding your real body.. but it's not unwelcome!
JAX:
Honestly the hardest thing for jax is to tone down his whole.. asshole thing, because people in the real world arent trapped in a space. Actually it would be this reason that you almost dont recognize him..! Woah jax not being an ass for once? Thats not your man!!!!!
As for feeling stuff... oh boy I think I mentioned somewhere that hes a clingy shit behind closed doors, or maybe that was a hyper specific request.. but get ready to have to carry this dude around for a few hours
RAGATHA:
I know I mentioned this. a few times but I love the idea of ragatha and her partner opening up a little bakery together. I can see her being into baking plus I think it fits her aesthetic; if she didnt get into Doll making and stuff... ponders... tearful reunion for you two, ragatha cant help but get a little touchy when she realizes it's you.. though she awkwardly pulls away and apologizes for that.. please hold her and dont let go
KINGER:
Its.. nice... I already have two teary reunions in this post.. hmm.. I don't think kinger would cry. The way I can describe it emotion wise is when you find an old trinket from your childhood. Nostalgic, maybe? I think he takes the longest to build himself back up to where you guys were in your relationship.. the trauma (which realistically they all have, however I think so far at least its hit kinger the worst), losing his possible wife (queener/queenie), reconnecting with his kids (I hc he had at least one kid!!), ect ect
You guys are going to have to take it slow, you know? I have a second request with this prompt for kinger so imma go more into that there!
ZOOBLE:
Writing this down first before I forget but you guys open up a body mod shop together. Piercings, tattoos, ect ect ect. Idk zooble just kind of gives off those vibes, and I feel like you guys would do that together. You guys move in a.. longish..while after reuniting in the real world and confirming who you are to one another.. it's not so much as zooble wants to make sure it's really you, its more so zooble needs time to get used to the real world again + they're cagey about their space !
GANGLE:
Another tearful reunion, she cant believe it's really you. She really thought that she would never see you again... but you're here..! Similar to jax, shes going to cling right onto you and not let go.. you guys hand out nearly everyday for the next few weeks while you try to sort things out, perhaps quickly moving in together
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fcknstar · 2 years ago
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,,locked up with you "
marcuslopez x fem! reader
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a.n : this was requested and its been such a long time since ive watched deadly class omfg. im abit rusty in writing him and m vv sorry. i hope this is okay and could go to the suggestive way which m going to make a part 2 of! my taglist!
warnings : intoxication?, suggestive ending
**lowercase intended**
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there was only one rule that was greatly feared by the students. “ never kill another student in and outside school grounds. “ it was widely known among students that there was once an incident that happened, the culprit facing grave punishments.
walking back to your dorm to set your thing down before getting lunch was the only thing you looked forward to. you enjoyed eating as much as you enjoyed eating it with your best friend. despite being one of the most respected students here, you didnt care if people gave you the side eye if they caught you being friends with the rats. it was normal some of the royals from other groups to bust down your door to take you to serve you a reminder to never communicate with that “ filthy rat “ you associated yourself with. lex, petra and billy were the only few rats you enjoyed being with. the rest? not really what you are looking for in a friend. of course, being friends with the rats doesnt mean that you get along with every single rat you see. for example marcus. ever since he joined kings dominion, hes nothing but a stuck up bitch. just because rumors has it that he killed an entire orphanage, he thinks that everyone will fear him. 
going out of your dorm to meet up with lex, you were met with a hard chest. when the scent smacked you in the face, you knew exactly who you bumped into. 
" hey! arent you going to apologize? " marcus voiced out. 
ignoring him, you quite literally had to push yourself out of his big figure, dodging him as he tried to push you against the wall. seeing lex in the distance, you called out for him and pretending that marcus isnt trying to kill you. of course, angered by your actions, he tried to scare you off, when the master lins people started pushing everyone into random dorms. to your luck, you were in your dorm with lex. to your luck, marcus was too in it. 
" another student have been found dead and im going to find out who. " master lins voice echoed through the empty halls. 
" oh my, t's lockdown. well, seems like we are going to miss lunch, beautiful. " lex chuckled. 
" beautiful? you? calling her beautiful? are you seriou- " marcus started pestering you, gesturing all kinds of hand signs that nearly looked similar to gang signs. 
" well, she is one of the finest women here in kings dominion. hey, you got any glue and a plastic pencil case? " lex started looking around the room for the said items, making marcus frown in confusion. 
" its in the drawer in my desk. to the left " you knew lex found it when you heard eager sniffing after a fart-like sound signaling that he emptied the glue out. 
" ohh.. " marcus concluded that lex wanted to get high. of course. 
it had been afew hours and lex got knocked out after being starved and getting high on an empty stomach. you were on your bed looking through your textbooks for answers to the chemistry equations. 
" you know those are really easy to answer. " 
" hey, im talking to you. " youve ignored him, not once, not twice but three times. 
" would you please shut up? if you want to talk, whisper " glancing at lex snoring softly. 
" someones mad. " marcus looked up from whatever book he saw lying around, watching you scratch your head in confusion. 
" you know, if you need helP- ouch " marcus was met with a book that was flung into his way. another indication of you wanting him to shut up. he watched the way you looked at lex, giggling about how stupid he looks, lying on the ground breathing slowly. 
turning to your side to look at marcus, you huffed. 
“ why do act the way you are? acting so high and mighty when you are just a timid rat? “ 
“ well i did- “
“ didnt burn the orphanage down. fuckface did. “ you deadpanned.
“ ho- how did you.. “ marcus began sinking into the chair, realizing that you had figured him out which scared him. 
“ i know who fuckface is, marcus. “ you slowly advance towards him.
“ and something is telling me that he is after you.. for stealing his name.” you ran a finger against his neck, gesturing that fuckface was coming for his head. 
“ so, if i were you, id start running. “ you whispered, faces inches from his. lips close enough that if one of you were to lean in, your lips would be connected. 
marcus thought it was going to happen, everything you said flew out of his mind as he could only think of you. he would never admit it, but he was greatly attracted to you when he saw you in school. he felt something turn in his stomach, the undeniably annoying heat that he was tremendously feeling. so when you pulled away, he was caught off guard. jumping back onto your bed, you sighed happily, as if nothing ever happened between you two. 
“ i know the fucking game youre playing, ( name ) . “ marcus whispered. 
“ oh do you now ? “ you smiled softly. 
it was when marcus pushed your books away from your bed, moving towards you. once he was in the same eye length with you, he whispered, “ may i? “
it didnt have to be a verbal response, it was plenty to understand that you wanted it too. 
--
taglist :
@superpositvecloudshipper
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cyverrieee · 1 year ago
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Hello!
May I request the Astral Crews reaction to a timid!reader (tending to hide away, super quiet, and overall super nervous) being witty, sweet, and overall very comfortable with PomPom? Like those two getting along like a house on fire. The reason being that the reader has the ability to travel peoples minds when asleep, and since Pompom discovered it (via accidental mind walking) , reader finally felt comfortable enough to be themselves with someone. As a result, they hang out regularly in their dreams. (Bonus if PomPom ONLY lets reader hold them)
Thank you,
🌸
“ Pom pom ”
Haha, sorry for the wait whoo im trying to keep up right now 🤡 trying a different format this time!!!
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You were a new addition to the Astral Family, you were mostly timid and shy around them but either way, they still love you and you love them. Mostly you just stay with Pom-pom with half of the time. They were happy you found someone who you are comforted with!
March, Himeko
They are notoriously happy for you to have someone you're comfortable with. They dont really mind, they would love to hang out with you though. They would see you hanging out with pompom mostly.
"WOAH! Pom-pom you let [Name] hold you!? I gotta take a picture!!"
"Im surprised Pom-pom is letting you hold them! Im glad, i need to tell this to Welt!!"
Welt, Dan Heng
They were okay with the fact that you were pom-poms favorite, they also kinda glad you had some personal company with Pom pom.
"Im glad you stopped March from nagging Pom pom, i think they'll thank you for it"
"im glad you found someone that you enigmatically love to be with. i hope it doesnt bother you when i asked to spend time with you?"
Caelus, Stelle
They didnt mind, they were chill with it. Glad you and pom-pom arent lonely and all, would just walk around seeing you and pom pom together. Mostly they come to talk to pom-pom about their trailblazer level, side missions from pom pom, and just talking. Sometimes they want to talk to you and they will.
"If its okay, can we hang out for a bit?"
All
They were kinda surprised and awes about your dream hopping abilities, they dont really mind if you hop into their minds while sleeping unless that dream is super embarrassing for them. Mostly they are asleep but some over nighters saw you just poof into someones dream they'll ask you about it like tomorrow so don't stress out. Either way they'll accept you and love as a family ^^
“ 💜 ” sorry (if its short, i didnt grasp their personalities in the time being) im getting lazier and lazier to write i think im getting burntout again smh or unmotivated:') probably why i closed requests for a while i cant catch up ^^"
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tea-and-secrets · 3 months ago
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i know this is an unpopular opinion bc this is the "cut off your friends for having a bad day!!!! theyre toxic! you don't owe anyone ANYTHING!" site but ive found the more people on here talk about shit like "loving people at their worst" and "helping their friends" and "you have to make peace with being a burden" and "the loneliness epidemic is so sad :(((" type posts the more likely they are to be a shit friend that resents actually having to help you for any reason. if you arent capable of being able to help someone thru a mental health crisis or take a risk helping someone in a bad place or in asking if someone's okay and not immediately dropping it at the extremely-typical-symptom-of-cptsd deflecting, you're not a friend, straight up. that is an acquaintance and that is fine. but acting like that's friendship is lying to yourself. its incredible that people act like this is fine on the site that constantly complains friendships arent taken as seriously as romantic relationships - maybe some people crave that romantic relationship bc it comes with an assurance that they won't be given up on as easily. for a literary culture that romanticises loyalty in a big way everyone on here loves to make up excuses to flake on it in their real life relationships with the excuse that the other is a bad person, a terrible friend, toxic, when id bet my ass they never tried to talk to them about the problems they had with them even once lol and i know everyone on here likes to say they're a people pleaser like that's some virtue and not a maladaptive coping mechanism thatll bite you in the ass and choke out all your friendships, but honestly if you can never get yourself to bring up to someone you call a "friend" that they hurt you or made you upset or made you uncomfortable, and you cut them off for that, you're a shit person. if you never once voice your opinion and fault them for not working around it, you're a shit person. if you get mad at and hold grudges against someone for violating boundaries you never once set up or even tried to hint at, or not solving problems they didn't know existed, you're a shit person. i had friends go nuclear and cut me off during the delusional haze after one of the most traumatic events in my life and it was over shit they'd apparently kept silent about for years. years. and never once tried to bring up. some of those things were things we'd already talked about and i apologized for and i thought we'd cleared the air on, but they were still upset over it and held me acting that way in the first place over my head as if i was evil for having those thoughts in the first place, and they'd never once hinted that they were holding that grudge the entire time we were "friends".
i see posts now that are like "it's sooo great to cut a toxic friend out of your life :) breath of fresh air" and i look at the notes in agreement and wonder how many of those people did what they did, refused to talk about their problems only to hold those problems against someone as black marks on their character. very few people actively want to be an asshole, most of the time just telling someone "this hurts" or "this upsets me" is enough to get them to stop and reconsider what they've been doing. i know i didnt want to. i begged you to tell me if id hurt you and you still lied to my face. why did you think id willingly want to hurt a friend? i tried to work with your symptoms, i always came to you when id been upset to get clarification, and i thought you'd do the same. what did i do to deserve that
.
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