#(even tho actually i meant it with way more)
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Same for both. The thing with explaining the reasons with an apology for me is part of the āI recognize how this action was wrong and how I ended up doing this thing that hurt you. I will be making an effort to stop this behavior. I hope you feel okay calling me out on it going forward. I want to assure you that I am aware of what I did, why I did it, that I am going to be working on it, that this hurt you, and that Iām sorry I did this.ā
To me the reasons and why it happened shows that they understand and how likely they are to keep doing the same things or if thy ran it, that kind of thing. Iāve had someone who was basically overdosing on Xanax day spent the most horrible shit to me, hitting every insecurity I had about our friendship and after the fact *not* apologize and just said something like āI didnāt reply mean it, I just said crazy shit because I was prescribed a higher dose of Xanax than a person should be.ā
Likeā¦ okay, I get thatā¦ andā¦ it would mean something if you said āIām sorry, I know it hurt you and I said a lot of things I knew would hurt most. I didnāt know I was prescribed higher dose than I shouldāve been until recently and it really fucked with my head in a way that I wasnāt myself.ā Instead, I wasnāt sure if she actually meant what she said looking back or if sheād do it again only without her mind being fucked up.
She gave the reason without the apology which made it an excuse and a āso you canāt be upset with anything I saidā when she could scroll back and see exactly the things she said to me even if she didnāt quite remember. However, with an apology, I would be able to believe she didnāt mean it and was in a state of mind where she was actively looking to be as hurtful as possible rather than actually believing hat she said. Itās kind of like how some people go turn out to be suicidal try to make everyone around them hate them before going through with it under the notion itād āhurt lessā when it happens. I think of one or two popular youtubers who did exactly that, posting outrageous bigoted shit before disappearing and after hearing they killed themselves, it clicked thatās what they were doing.
As for the telling a story for how thy relate (as I did above actually lol) itās likeā¦ ālisten hereās a thing I went throughā¦ to me it sounds like what youāre going through, so I hope what I did to get through it helps or if talking to someone who might understand better makes you feel okay talking about this.ā
Itās likeā¦ it adds some weight or legitimacy to what the person youāre talking to is saying for me. Iād be more likely to take their advice or reflect on how I handle or perceive it vs how they might have. When someone isnāt grasping at all what youāre saying, it turns into defending why youāre feeling and going through rather than being able to justā¦ talk about it.
Idk, been thinking on the nuance of this for a while. I like reasons, I like getting an idea on if this will happen again or not. Thereās just a lot of ādepends on the person/situationā tho.
#apologies explanations and reasons#interesting stuff#it doesnāt even have to be lengthy#at work Iāve apologized for shit#and as a follow up to days ago conversations#just saying āIāve thought about it had something explained to me I completely forgot this thing we donāt normally do you were rightā#and they do say āeh you don ave to apologizeā#but I still want to own that i was wrong rather than have them think Iāll never consider why they say seriously
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I don't know what I love more, the fact that as rook you can make a statement in NO uncertain terms that you are NOT responsible one way or the other for the theological implications of the shit you're discovering in the 'regrets of the dread wolf' memories. not my jurisdiction. quite simply none of my business. not my chantry circus not my chantry monkeys. irrelevant to the matter at hand here we'll kill that god if we get to him he can get in line. or if the best thing about it is seeing the lone little 'lucanis approves' that pops up right after choosing it. corvid with a knife about to commit deicide keeping it real and sensibly, pragmatically, wilfully agnostic with me here in this magical lighthouse today
#we do not see it. we cannot read all of a sudden.#rye having war flashbacks to watcher conferences and firmly going 'we are *not* getting derailed by the metaphysics here folks'#rare stern moderator/dad hat moment from ingellvar lol. he's Seen Some Shit in his time (debates that raged over the multiple#and not always concurrent life times of the participants involved. ain't no academic rivalry like watcher academic rivalry#because watcher academic rivalry doesn't stop even when everyone involved is dead. and the rest of us have to live with it)#I. do not think the way I'm getting this quest is how it's meant to be experienced so I'm a bit at a loss as to how to pace it out#I've been an annoying little completionist so I have ALL the statues and could just marathon it out#but that does not feel like the best way for the story and upcoming reveals to work. hm. how to do this#I'm supposed to go fail to save weisshaupt right around now I can't be having study group with all of you rn as much of a delight as it is#rye is nominally an andrastian as mainstream nevarrans generally are but as I gather is the case with many of the watchers#what he *actually* believes in is the grand necropolis itself haha#(and the philosophy of history memory death and relationship (as well as responsibility) between the past and the present#and indeed the future that it represents. we have a duty. to what has been to what is and to what will come after us. good shit)#the nevarran/mortalitasi element just makes their lack of care or respect for chantry orthodoxy *mwha* that extra bit special#the nevarran lack of concern bordering on quiet condescending disdain for official chantry doctrine and policy my beloved#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#poor harding really is living through the most relentless 'if this is the maker testing my faith he sure be testing me' gauntlet of all tim#good news: god might be real! bad news: god might not even be a real thing but more like a magical accident or vibration or something#honestly tho. if we could get full lovecraftian incomprehensible to human conception the maker -- He is a particle and a wave style --#that's the only way I'd be cool with him or them actually answering the question of his existence. that'd be kind of sick#'yes. but no. but maybe. depends on how you define god. and exist. and he. and does.' *ingellvar sets of the METAPHYSICS!! klaxon#that's a time out folks good game but easy on the jargon and navel-gazing definition of terms next round#rye and lucanis have some slightly differing views about at what exact stage of a problem murder becomes a valid solution#('well you just kill them and then I'm the one who has to deal with the next much longer part')#but they're surprisingly kind of vibing on a lot of other stuff lol. good for them <3#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar
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i'm back with another request favorite writer š¼, i was wondering if you could do Sun n Moon/Reader who's the daycare manager.
Essentially they help tidy, manage schedules, supplies, ect???
(sorry for not leaving more notes on your posts, tumblr doesn't show me ur stuff often šš)
A/N: Hiii thank you so much for your kind words and patience?? My motivation has been on the floor but I'm trying to make it work somehow! Anyway, here is some mildly-annoying-coworkers to friends (to lovers) for your heart! :D
Sun & Moon x daycare manager!reader relationship headcanons
Please reblog this post! Likes make posts die :(
Masterlist
When you first got hired as the Daycare manager, you work was... Well.... Tough
To say the least.
Sun's sassy attitude and constant micro-aggressions were really getting to your nerves
And Moon.....
Well
Let's say you sometimes wondered if he saw you as his boss or his toy
He WILL jest around and stare at you while chuckling instead of following your commmands
Both of them don't really like the idea of having a human supervising them
I mean they're doing a super neat job on their own!! They don't need you!! Why would management send you here?!?
But surprisingly, instead of quitting
You actively try to work with them.
Unexpected I know.
You're not just bossing them around and yelling when they don't do what you want!!
You actually communicate with them to explain the goal of your missions and ask for their ideas when they refuse to do things your way!!
Okay to be honest how it ends up working out is truly a mystery to you
But after a while of almost constant bargaining
Welp the bargaining starts to lessen.
They do the activities you prepared instead of announcing a completely different unrelated thing to the kids
They don't argue as much about the schedule for naptimes
Hell, you can finally catch a fucking break
Of course you let them know how much you're thankful to them for agreeing with stuff (finally)
Sun also starts to get a little less mean, thankfully
You're greater at your job than he thought you'd be!! Different than the managers they had before, for sure, but it's a good thing!! You actually adapt your work and the schedule for them, and not despite them!!
He might start to take a liking for you
After a long while
I mean you truly are the first human handler to not treat them as objects
So of course it takes time for them to trust you
But Sun eventually does because he's just too much of a sweetheart
Moon just... Teases you a bit less. If that means anything.
(it does)
Or at least it's not mean teasing anymore
He's still a Creatureā¢ļø tho
Sun still acts confident and almost cocky at times, but it's not passive-agressive anymore
He can even appear charming at times, now that his jokes and remarks aren't meant to make you quit your job
And of course both argue from time to time
Or well, show their dislike of your commands in their own ways I guess
Their "own ways" being that Moon crawls up to the ceiling and sits in a corner upside-down to pout
And Sun just outright refuses to execute whatever you told him to do (and WILL get snappy if you insist)
The trips at Parts N Service are the worst, but you manage to get them down there two times out of three
But overall your relationship with the both of them is getting better and better everyday!
And you genuinely feel so glad the day they give you a friendship drawing!! You're officially their friend now!!
You almost teared up, but no one needs to know that
And then, they gave you another one
And another one
And MANY other ones
And plenty of them both holding your hands
Overtime, you became their bestest friend!!
Who could have thought you would end up being so close!!
Well you, at least, didn't expect it
Not that you're complaining!
You had to admit you grew VERY attached to them too
But oh boy was this development unexpected.
#wowie stopping there or i'll never post this#hope this pleases you!#i do love gentle sun but OUGH i would do anything for sassy sun#i cannot decide which version of them i enjoy the most#same for sweetheart moon i love the idea but damn creature moon is kinda........#like damn#anyway this was be rambling lmao#whispers from atlantis#fnaf sun#fnaf moon#fnaf daycare attendant#dca fandom#answered
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Jason Grace Fluff Alphabet Part 2
L - Love language -Words of affirmation and act of service -He sometimes doesn't have too much time for you but he would do and say anything you need
M - Marriage (Do they want to marry you?) -As I said before, YES HE WANTS TO -Being a demigod also means to enjoy every second of your life because you can die at any moment -So if you're together for years now and everything's still alright, he definitely would propose you when you both become adults N - Nicknames -He calls you by your first name or a nickname of that -Sometimes he uses sweetheart or my love O - Organized (Are they messy? Is their room clean or not?) -He's mostly a clean person and tries to keep it this way while being around you -He wants to kind of impress you with how organized the stuffs are in his room -But tends to get kinda messy P - PDA -He's kinda shy about this, but would defintiely hold your hand or put an arm around you -In private he's more affectionate -Would def tease you a little and give you more kisses in private than in public Q - Quirk (Any special thing in your relationship?) -He's a whole ass latin dictionary -He also can help you training and become a better fighter or strategist -AND HIS FLYING ABILITY -He is really superman R - Romantic (How romantic are they?) -HE IS ROMANTIC -He doesn't have any experience but he tires -He's a real romantic gentleman tho <3 -He thinks he's bad at this but he's actually super good S - Support (How much they support you?) -HE SUPPORTS YOU IN EVERYTHING -Until if it's dangerous -Then it's a big no -But overall, he's pretty supportive and supports your dreams, goals and just overall in everything that's not risky T - T-shirt (Are they let you borrow his clothes?) -Definitely -He ADORES when you wear his clothes -Sometimes he just ""accidently"" leave his shirt or hoodie in your room -Would become cuddly if you wear his clothes U - yoU (How much you mean to them?) -THE WHOLE WORLD -He never understood before why does the couples become so cheesy -Now he gets it -You just make him feel so warm and fuzzy -He would do anything for you V - Value (What they value in a relationship?) -Honesty -He doesn't like when the people are fake -Honesty is a big thing for him because he notices easily if someone is lying -He would feel hurt if his s/o would lie to him without any good reason W- Wild card (Random headcanon) -He has this habit of wrapping his arms around your waist from behind -He just likes to hold you while talking or watching what are you doing -Sometimes just press a small kiss here and there on your neck, shoulder or cheek X - eX (Do they have any exes? Are they experienced?) -No -Maybe he remembers something from that small "thing" he had with Reyna (if it even meant anything) -But he doesn't remember that he experienced that with Reyna -Overall, he doesn't have any relationship experience but he's still doing perfect Y - Yearing (If their s/o is away, what is he doing?) -He probably trains or work -So he can get his mind off you -But he can't hehe -So when you come back, he's gonna be all over you and follow you around like a cute puppy Z - Zzz (Does he or you fall asleep during the day?) -You're tired? Feel free to sleep on his shoulder -He's tired? He lays his head into your lap to sleep -Or you both just start cuddling and fall asleep
#percy jackson#jason grace#pjo#pjo fandom#jason grace x reader#headcanon#heroesofolympus#hoo#paprikxsh
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F1 DRIVERS IF THEY WERE REGULAR GAY DUDES
(gay people I know/have met)
Before we start, pls know this is just for funsies and not like a guide or sumn for how to write them or wtv, of course, if any of these strike inspiration you're free to use these characterizations for any works.
Most of these are mixes of people I know irl, so none of it is meant as a diss or anything. ALSO there is a theme you'll start to notice in a lot of these bc I hang out in very specific groups lmao
tags contain everyone mentioned
Continue below cut
Max: First of all, bottom but could top for the right guy. Pup, sub, twinky but heās not feminine enough to ever be called one. You either find him in the club or at home nursing a hangover, or in some older guyās bed. Doesnāt use anything but alc but somehow knows where to find everything anyway. Also a nerdy gay (gamer loser boyfriend). Has a d/s contract. (also could be defined as āboy/boiā but that term is a bit controversial so)
Charles: Verse, always depends on his mood (and who heās with). Drag queen, twunk, big into the leather scene. Big party gay, does poppers and coke, very careful about who he gets it from though. Always up to some shit and no one knows what his real job is or if he even has one, probably has a sugar daddy on the low (or heās a circuit gay, both make sense).Ā
Carlos: Top, changes between dom/sub tho. Otter, leather daddy, brat tamer. DL kinda, in the sense that he keeps it strictly to nightlife but open to having a full-time relationship w a man. Strictly into twinks and slightly younger dudes. Has a d/s contract for sure.
Oscar: Verse, tops more. Only subs for people he really trusts (even as a sub he tops often). Pup handler/trainer (a pup when heās a sub), twunk. Not big into parties unless heās going with his dom, since he knows someoneās going to look after him and he can just relax. Newbie in the leather scene but into it. Has a very light d/s contract with a dom, essentially for learning (but also for having fun of course).
Daniel: Definition of verse, both in top/bottom and sub/dom. Jock, such a jock, like itās not even funny. Pup handler, not into being a pup when heās sub tho. Also lowkey a spunk monkey but I hate that term so no. Lives at pride events during June. Party gay once again, but on another level, he basically lives at the nightclub. Nobody knows how he has the energy (itās drugs and red bull). Probably a circuit gay idk what other job heād have the time for, maybe porn star. Has multiple d/s contracts.
Lando: BOTTOM do not argue with me abt this I donāt want to hear it. Sub but heās so bratty he might as well be a dom if his top is a softie. The literal definition of a twink. Circuit gay and a DJ, also camboy on the side. Into the leather scene a little bit but intimidated by how much time you have to put into it. Does drag sometimes when he has the time. Obviously a clubber, does poppers, coke, and really anything in the club, but still careful. Wants a d/s contract but doesnāt have time for one.
George: Bottom, topped once and got tired of having to do so much. Essentially a pillow princess (even tho thatās a lesbian term but weāre using it for this). Twink, sub most of the time, can be bratty, into the leather scene. Not the biggest partier but he gets dragged along as the sober friend and then ends up hooking up with someone random. His friends make it home with or without him. Nerdy gay but not in the same way Max is. Very much an activist.
Lewis: Verse, tries to convince everyone that heās strictly a top though (it never works). Jock (??) I donāt really know actually heās a bit of an enigma when it comes to this. Very into the leather scene, like very into it. Makes his money modelling and uses the money to party and run charities. Runs at least five pride events around the world. Activist through and through. In an open relationship of like fifteen years. Young gays always call him a dilf and he tries to tell them he is not that old (has like three crises about his age a week).Ā
Fernando: Top when it comes to younger guys, verse when it comes to his husband. Bear, this is not biased at all, I definitely do not have a thing for bears and him, shhh. Leather daddy. Goes to leather events and average bars, hasnāt stepped foot into a nightclub in years. D.I.L.F. Open relationship with his husband & also a d/s contract. One of those really nice older gay guys who just seem so approachable and has answers to everyoneās questions.
Pierre: Top and dom. Surprisingly vanilla but he can get down with some basic kinks. Fuckboyā¢, everyone knows he has at least five twinks in his bed every week. Goes to parties but itās to seek out more hookups. His phone is always the culprit of a distant grindr notif. Definitely uses one of those dating apps where you can see every guyās location and can just go hook up wherever theyāre at. (I swear Iām not dissing him but someone had to be like this)
Lance: Bottom, sub. Twink, unsurprisingly vanilla. One of those guys who has enough of his own money to not need a sugar daddy but has one anyway. Hosts a lot of parties but heās rarely seen at them unless theyāre very luxurious ones. The gay friendā¢, mostly has female friends and takes them out when their boyfriends are being assholes or they get stood up by a date. Fashion gay also.
Nico R.: Idk probably verse but I can easily also see him being strictly top or bottom so. Leans more to dom but def enjoys being sub too. If weāre talking about younger nico then twink 100%. Used to be a party gay and went to events at like 18-23 but got bored of it after that and settled down with a guy who definitely isnāt as relaxed as he is but he doesnāt mind it. (They fight about it all the time)
Sebastian: This guy is a bottom broš. Sub but like so bratty that sometimes it leans to the dom side. TWINK. Kind of into the leather scene in the sense that he goes to the parties and wears gear but heāll rarely engage in the kink side of the community (not saying heās vanilla).Ā Flirts with everyone in the club he can get his eyes on but rarely actually goes home with someone (heās picky). Iām basing this off like red bull seb btw bc itās the most fun era of his.
Mark: 100% top. Heās like a loser top tho even though heās also a brat tamer but sometimes he doesnāt have energy for all that. Dom but like I said, sometimes he just cba to actually dominate. WOLF WOLF WOLF IDC WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS. Into the leather scene yes bro is freaky w it too. Idk what Iām saying Iām tired. Um, so anyway. Yeah he doesnāt really go to parties unless his sub wants to go and he feels like tagging along. Has a few regular guys he fucks around with but doesnāt expand his horizons much. Also has a romantic partner.
Jenson: Completely depends on who heās fucking and this goes for everything kink related. Heās a wolf too but tries to hold on to his twinkness from when he was younger. SLUT. Somehow hasnāt tired of partying and is still a circuit gay, has been one since he was like 22. Heās a fuckboy slut idk what more to say really, heās just living his best life and I honestly love that for him. (this is very much exactly a guy I know sorry to that dude but)
any driver not mentioned is one I either didn't think of or just don't know well enough to give any kind of opinion on. Also if you need clarification for any terms pls ask and I'll explainš
#formula 1#f1 rpf#max verstappen#charles leclerc#carlos sainz#oscar piastri#daniel ricciardo#lando norris#george russell#lewis hamilton#fernando alonso#pierre gasly#lance stroll#nico rosberg#sebastian vettel#mark webber#jenson button
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birthday boy š
#river dipping#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#a burning house to live in#echthroi#ts4#ts4 edit#simblr#ts4 screenshots#theo i hope you're having the most insane birthday sex rn i hope it's ******** and ***** and ***'** **** *** **** ***** :)<3#sorry i put off making your birthday edit for so long that i had to pivot and post this edit instead of the one i wanted </3#...very funny how similar this is to that LAST render i posted... well so WHAT!! if i think matthias looming is sexy!!#this is based on a photo that everyone was drawing their ocs as so really it's not MY fault he's back there clinging and being a freak#actually if y'all want this pose lmk... i'll share it but fyi it's only meant to be seen from the waist up and idk how it'd look#on a sim that doesn't have the same muscle mass and like. bulk. that matthias has......................................#just got rock hard after typing that... anyway.#HAPPY BIRTHDAY THEO <333333333 LOVE YOU SO MUCH I PROMISE I'M GONNA KEEP WORKING ON THE //ACTUAL// BIRTHDAY EDIT!! like .#posted abt this on the sideblog but the real edit i have planned for him is making me lose my fucking gourd#and it'll probably take me :))) a few more days to figure out#expect a depressing theo-as-a-teenager edit eventually tho. with writing!! accompanying it!!#matthias's face has changed again btw š i redid it almost immediately after i posted that first render attempt so he looks DIFFERENT!!#i posted screenshots of him in cas just the other day on my other acc and he looks so good in them i might post them here too#oh and!! this edit looks massively different than my last because this screenshot was taken with a new preset i made specifically for#the real birthday edit i'm working on... it's a hallway scene so i figured out depth and density to get this really cool fog effect#i'm really excited for it!! in my head the way it looks makes me crazy but idk if i can pull it off properly. but like i WAS SAYING!!#new preset is sooo sexy after i post this i'll reblog with the before and after to show you how good it looks even w/o any editing#like. the colors....... literally have always wanted a preset like this i'm so glad i spent yesterday fucking around with it#ALSO!! i've been doing those oc/ship dynamic templates for fun recently so i might post a few of them here soon#realize i'm rambling so much in these tags bc i haven't been here in forever kfjnkfjhn ummmmm. let me stop.#EVERYONE WISH THEO HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIGHT NOW š«µā¼
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That feeling when he can't stand to see you that way, no matter what you do, no matter what you sayš©šš
#scott pilgrims precious little life#scott pilgrim vs the world#spvtw#spto#scott pilgrim#wallace wells#lisa miller#scollace#kim pine#natalie adams#envy adams#don't rlly know if I like how this turned out but oh well;;;#hope its obvious that this is based on the song āScott Pilgrimā which the creation the comics were inspired from#the lyrics always make me think of Wallace and Lisa's feelings for Scott every time I hear it#ofc you could also relate it to Kim especially since the singers voice kind of reminds me of her#but overall the lyrics fit these two much better since Scott never truly āsaw them that wayā despite how long they've liked him#and they always seem happier to see him compared to Kim#Im surprised tho that I havent yet seen anyone draw these two together now that their dialogue parallels have been acknowledged more lately#also tho I wish more people pointed out that they both got cucked by red heads LOL#and Kim and Envy actually do look really similar when scott first meets them#makes me wonder if Scott subconsciously went for Envy since she reminded him of Kim (which would be fitting given that you could argue that#Envy dated Scott because he reminded her of Todd. Since he and Scott are confirmed to be meant to be seen as similar to one another#so much so that even their first and last names rhyme#last thing I'll add tho is that while Wallace and Lisa are very similar even personality wise#the one big difference is that despite that whole conclusion on vol4 of Scott not cheating on Ramona with Lisa because he loves her#the writers apparently think it would be āorganically correctā for him to have an affair with wallace LMAO#but I guess we shouldn't be surprised since Wallace and Ramona are both in the front of the official valentines art which is clearly#a deptiction of Scotts wet dream or smth (oh and you could also argue that Wallace and Lisa parallel on that art since they're both#shirtless with white socks.. which could be a reference to how lisa wears skimpy clothes for Scott and Wallace often only wears boxers#to like sexually frustrate Scott for fun or smth
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Going to finally watch konosuba will report back later
#in the mood for a goofy comedy#it's surprising how long I've waited to check it out given it's tangential relationship to rezero#but they're also fundamentally such different stories#they both subvert isekai tropes but one in a very grim and serious way w actual societal commenatry and the other. well. goofy comedy#but maybe there's more hidden underneath the surface who knows. even if theres not tho i just wanna laugh so thatd also be fine lol#but also to be fair i don't really have any interest in the other two isekai quartet shows. but i always meant to watch konosuba#for the silly#hope it's good silly!
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[The Final sugi dying kitten betrayal -> utsuro-gin fight -> sakura boat imagination -> completely tonally consistent with these ginpachi-sensei closer]
now listen. u know i would rather die than post five nearly-uninterrupted minutes of a fight scene. so take that into consideration.
#slight--#flashing#--in the first scene but i tried to cut the worst of it#sopping wet gintoki posting#videos#my computer is screaming at me. can i recall my thoughts.#i think theyre INSANE for that utsuro falling -> takasugi bound on the ground watching shouyou's execution transition.#rereading the manga fight scene. there IS some. how do i want to phrase this. unreliable perspective fuckery. retconning of memories.#nonliterality Mind Tricks. but like. things still happened. this movie here takes it so far that im like. IS GINTOKI EVEN REAL?#is this just the gintoki that lives in takasugi's dying brain and utsuro's dying brain that utsuro got from shouyou's humanity brain fungus#being his shinigami/psychopomp to walk him thru his first ever death. guhhhhhhh. littlest baby on the planet who is afraid of dying.#<- i love utsuro with all my heart. sorry for being mean to him at first turns out he's the char of all time meant for me.#anyways i think the movie is. SO BALLSY to stretch reality so far for their climax fight. and in such a. way.#taking place in complete silence. almost no actual fighting in the 200 Chapters Of Fighting arc fight scene conclusion.#reanimating so many key moments just to canonize the identity blurring triangle between three dead guys (tho gintoki gets kicked out of#the world of the dead on that sakura boat. sad.)#just a really ambitious thing to put in this aesthetically ugly and boringly standard as hell movie. AND TO SERVE WHAT END.#more standard as hell jump Power Of Friendship in the end. just with some extra weird cannibal ouroboros endless mirrors gay ass flavor.#<- gintama has always been abt making and surviving connections im not mad abt that but u know. got so generic lol.#thoooooo rereading the manga scene and understanding the plot more this time i do like the feeling that utsuro wasnt defeated so much as#just ran out his time. being kept busy from causing more problems in his final hours w a pointless fight hed never be able to turn down.#[about to digress 20 more times] anyways what else. theres an utsuro soft expression when he regrows sugi's arm that i like. interesting--#choice. i also cut it but i love gintoki wandering gaze avoiding sugis eyes dying in his arms. and his fighting back tears so badly.#the way the dynamic and emotionally destroying shot transitions dont stop even while sugi's dying. someone on staff was working their ass#off for him and i appreciate that.
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i think my favorite instances of pokemon and yo-kai with similar inspirations are the ones where you can barely tell they have the same inspiration. like. jibanyan and espeon are both based on nekomata. frostina/blizzaria and froslass are both yuki-onna. komasan and growlithe are both (at least according to bulbapedia on the latter cuz i really doubt it) komainu. honestly basically the only one i can think of where it's obvious are like. walkappa and lombre skdjfljfssfdsfdkljfds-
#puppy rambles#yo-kai watch#pokemon#digimon also. seasarmon (digimon's komainu) is the only one who ACTUALLY looks like a komainu#and i don't even know if he's meant to be one or not fsdlkjdfsdfkkjdfs-#they all do kitsune pretty well. ninetales kyubi and renamon are all pretty similar though there's obviously differences#since yo-kai watch and digimon lean more towards anthros. pokemon has a good amount of anthros/bipeds but there's still quadrupeds#whereas there's not a lot in yo-kai watch and digimon. esp once you get to the higher ranked yo-kai and higher stage digimon#i think there's like. one quadrupedal mega in digimon klsfdjfdslsdfjkds- i'm admittedly the least knowledgeable about it tho#still love digimon but i was never as into it as i am pokemon or yo-kai watch#anyways the pokemon yo-kai watch and digimon fandoms should all hold hands and walk into the sunset together i think <3#oh also. moon bnuuy. nidoran's line for pokemon usapyon for yo-kai watch and lunamon's line for digimon#the only thing they have in common is bnuuy and both nidorans are borderline bnuuy#it's only really obvious cuz of the ears and also if you know japanese mythology (that's why nidoking and nidoqueen are moon stone evos)#i say this all lovingly by the way it's just really funny to me#esp the komainu thing why can only one of these three franchises actually get it right-
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#even tho it was so hard for me. ofc when u can only communicate via the internet so much is lost i think... sm extra things u need to be#more secure kinda? like physical presence does a lot on its own#but yeah.. ok i actually wrote more but u can only have 30tags per post and safari on ur phone does not tell u when it's stopping so half o#what i wrote just disappeared ._. i cant rmbr what i said... and i mean this is just for myself to vent but grr im so annoyed#yeah just that he was sm more patient than i realized. i just was in the start of learning how to live w my avpd#i wasnt able to do a lot. even if i wanted to. he helped me sm to uncover things in myself to start that thing within me#i just desperately wish i had found him earlier and that i've been this far along in my anti avpd limitation abilities.... truly wish that#so im trying to accept it and just think bc i dont have a choice :') i've never wanted anyone like this and that just is how it is#i will always love him simply bc he is who he is#he's so so cool and amazing to me in so so many ways. and i always loved just how he talks and communicates bc it resonates w me#and there are simply sm details i just adore. but yeah... i probably shouldnt think abt that? i feel like.. it isnt my place to think abt i#but it is what it is but it hurts so incredibly much. will i ever be able to let go of him? the love i couldve experienced? the wonderful#person i couldve been with? will i be able to stop thinking abt all his great qualities and how much i wish he was mine? and all the things#wanna do and talk abt with him? he's just.. he just is .. i cant describe it. it feels like more than just earthly love...#maybe i sound insane or too intense or dramatic or smth but.. it feels so much larger than everything#so i struggle sm with letting go bc i want to touch him and i want to love him and i just want to be with him and experience everything w h#but that isnt my place. i know... why.. have i only ever felt like this w him... what do i do with this?? am i crazy? am i going insane? is#there smth wrong with me?#he is worthy of everything and he is so so wonderful but is there smth wrong w me for being so..#for having love that actually truly is all consuming? what is this... it's scary. esp when i cant unleash it. it's like a wild beast i have#to learn how to tame. and i want to be able to find mutual love too. but i cant force anything. will the universe grant me that?#i cant imagine myself ever being able of letting go of him but if that is what the universe has planned then..#ok im actually starting to sound intense and weird and idk O.O i think i think too much#.. it hurts that i wont get to do all of the things and talk abt all the things i wanna do w him. i'll never get to hug him...#if i could ask for only one thing it'd be one hug from him....#maybe is ound crazy but with all my disorders and feeling disconnected from the world.. and finding someone that makes me feel tethered#and safe and real.. and having to let go bc it just wasnt meant for me... why is the universe so cruel.#in the end i care abt him so much i just want him to be loved. i want him to finally feel loved.#someone else.. someone else without avpd can do that for him. i want him to be oh so so loved and .. yeah.. :(#i wish i couldve loved him as he deserves but .. its not my place. not my place... all i want is to hear his voice and live in his arms
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I canāt even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?
#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like.#what? am I missing something here?#my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that theyāre really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day#but now Iām wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both#gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc Iām scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a#bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of#being SO afraid and SO stagnant. itās been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I donāt feel like Iāve made any progress even#with a therapist. Iām working towards a more intensive program but I feel like itās almost making me feel more alienated bc Iād have to like#go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know Iām running from it bc Iām#afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man canāt I get some fucking meds that make#this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck itās#so exhausting!!!! I feel like Iām fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside itās like Iām doing nothing cause I stay in my room#and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until#my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like Iām doing nothing and#thatās because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like itās so sad#anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like itās an epiphany even tho itās things you already know.#honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down
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my brother said heās willing to give succ another chance. on one hand, this is extremely good news. on the other, he just doesnāt understand it, like i do
#i do wanna see his reaction to some of the crazy shit that goes down tho#bc heās only seen the first two seasons#he doesnāt even know about too much birthday!!!#and that feels like a crime#he is also one of those āshiv sucksā guys#not even for the reasons she actually sucks#the misogynistic way š#which winds me up no end but whatever#also he canāt see gay shit like i can#heās not gonna understand tomgreg#heās not gonna understand nero and sporus/the forehead kiss/the deal with the devil/the sticker scene#i am actually wondering if iāll even get a āare tom and greg actually gay?ā comment out of him#bc dude still thinks dennis always sunny is straight š#he didnāt understand what the johnny stuff meant#so i have low expectations for his reaction to a more canon tomgreg#as s3 is where it gets real#those last two seasons is like theyāre literally having a affair whether they realise or not#or whether my brother realises or not either#tom doesnāt kiss his fuckin forehead and say heād marry him and betray shiv bc theyāre just such good buddies my man#i can already picture my brain melting out my ears over the conversations we will have#not even in regards to tomgreg#but everything regarding the sibs and logan#heās gonna be soooooo annoying i just know it#like yes he will watch my bestie beloved succ but what at what cost#gwen rambles#gwenposting
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me: i'd like to have more friends so I have more people to share things with and someone to talk to every day since I spend 98% of my time completely alone
me, trying really hard to make friends: feeling very lonely like I can't fit in and don't belong no matter what I do until i get kicked out/pushed away. or immediately fucks up, without realizing or knowing why
me after that, in tears: actually I lied, I don't want/need friends. it's better to be alone š„²
me for a long time after that: avoids people and spends all my time alone wishing to share things with others but too tired to try again
but eventually repeats the same nonsense cycle again and again because I never learn from it š¤¦āāļø
#autism things#autistic#autism#actually autistic#socializing#friendship problems#i wish i could accept that im either meant to be alone or better off alone???? because even tho its hard sometimes#trying to PEOPLE is harder and fucks me up further so....how do i stop giving in and trying again š#people will tell me dOnT giVe Up iTs nOt gOoD tO bE aLoNe but its also not good to be repeatedly traumatized!!!!! ššššš#arguably thats WORSE#IM SO TIRED AND BURNT OUT AND DEEPLY SAD. sad isnt even a good word. idk a good word. what do i feel? idk#can only describe as a forest that completely withered and decayed and theres nothing left but a dark murky sludge#i feel equivalent to that i think. a dead forest is very sad as someone who likes plants way more than people......
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I'm just kinda thinking over what could it been had things gone just. Just every so slightly better
Had some fundamentals been challenged further
Had the right words be spoken
Had they didn't go all in
It's just so sad, because I ultimately do see them working on the right scenarios, but they're all just...fantasy, a fleeting dream, the unreachable
Oughhhh I love them so much. They're so doomed
#perceptive little crow#this is about teopeka btw#i just listened to something good can work and it was like 'man. this would've been the ideal'#because YES i do believe the first phase of their relationship was full of hope for the future for both ends#peka just found himself on a new world that seemed detached from the previous. he could start anew#tbh tho teo simply followed out of pity and a bit of hopelessness. I wouldn't be surprised if her life was just kinda shaking a couple days-#before she met peka. and after seeing what he was capable of she kinda just....relaxed. knowing it may go well after all#it was a gamble she took. but damn did it pay off. and she gets to enjoy the benefits for a fair amount too#then The Incident happened#then a new department that was the opposite of what she advocate for formed on the company she wanted to create#then she started being pushed more and more on administrative/executive roles and was basically out of the field#then she felt disconnected of her world. her passion. her people#no place to go to no shoulder to land on. she wasn't alone she just....was a deeply lonely woman at the end#sorry. im not even sure if this actually fits the direction I'd like her to go to on my au/fanfic. but ig it fits#anyways. maybe had stuff gone differently she would've enjoyed the benefits all the way through#she maybe could've had both sides of the cake#who knows#it's just kinda interesting to think about the gambles she took went it came to hlev/peka. both on moments of desperation/loneliness#both the same weird ass guy that she saw at first and went 'what the fuck is his deal'#both just...so endearing she can't help but love them#maybe she needs them as much as they need her#maybe any and all their relationships never were meant to last#but that's kinda dooming it further and honestly I'd like to see a happy ending (where i get to be with my crush x3!!!!!!)#so I'll leave one side to rot and the other to bloom. easy.#sorry im rambling too much now. night night
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*shows seriously genuine emotions* ............*turns it into a joke*
#why am i like this#tho to be fair i didn't this time#i mean the urge was really hard and if they were in front of ne irl maybe i wouldn't have been able to stop myself but#virtually i was able to stop myself from turning it awkward (at least for the other person) (i think)#and not joke like its fake just maybe that actually i didn't mean it with the seriousness it came across as#(even tho actually i meant it with way more)#i AM working on it okay#in friendships#love#with family#in everyday interactions honestly#eph#desiblr#shitposting
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