#(even if thats not how it happened in the episode but whatever i can stretch it)

[vaugarde]

what bugs me even more abt my animal literature final being so specific despite having whatever content we want to choose from, is that i do have sources where i could potentially have a case to say something interesting about the distance between humanity and animals, and we HAVE covered that through frank kafka’s work, so in a different class itd be up for grabs, but because we have to focus on a very specific thing instead (what a movie says that is teaching the audience how we should treat animals) i have to throw that out even though its way more interesting to me

[lovexjoe]

Unspoken

Part 1 

Synopsis: Jack and Y/N have been best friend for years. She recently ended her 2 year relationship, due to moving to Atlanta for a better job opportunity. What’s going to happen when she stays with Jack for a week ?

Warning: fluffy, angst?, language and smut🧎🏽‍♀️

Y/N POV 

Great!!! I finally found an apartment for myself, but I have to stay at a hotel for a week due to maintenance. I sighed as I begin to search the internet for a hotel suitable to my needs. Currently I’m at Jack’s house, cause he offered to let me stay the weekend as I sorted myself out. Moving to a new state is draining. I left a lot of my things back home as my mom said it’s good to just start fresh. So I packed what I needed and hopped on the plane. I left so much behind, even my 2 year relationship. Surprisingly, I’m okay and even happier that it ended. There wasn’t a spark between us. He treated me well, but the relationship over all was boring. I guess I kept it going for so long, because it was better than being alone. 

“Alright what’s got you so stress? You been glue to the computer since you woke up” Jack says as he sits down next to me on the couch. 

“The apartment won't be ready for another week and I need to find a hotel beca-” 

“Hell no! Come on, you know you can stay here till it’s ready. I’m not taking no for an answer either. Now can you stop stressing before you explode. That vein on your forehead is serious” He starts his usual teasing. I laughed and playfully shoved him. 

Arguing with him was useless. It was his way or no way. I finally close my laptop and enjoyed whatever tv show he was currently hooked on. He stretched out his left arm and placed it on the back on the couch. I crawl into my usual spot: snuggled up with a blanket. 

“I missed you. I know you’re stressed but I’m happy to finally spend some time with you this week.” Jack says honestly. You were taken aback but also happy as well to be here with him.

“Me too”

Jack’s POV

She takes her usual spot on the opposite end of the couch, I so badly want to pull her close to me. As selfish as it sounds I hope her apartment takes an extra week so she could stay longer. And those god damn PJs she wears is gonna end me. She could wear a turtleneck and I’d probably still have the same reaction. 

I had met her through Druski as she was working with him for a while on video concepts and managing his social media. As soon as they linked up, she got his account to gain a million followers within a month. Thats why Jack put his full trust in her when it came to his social media. He’ll give her a heart attack here or there when he posts some random video of him trying to dance. Keyword is try because he looks like he’s glitching half the time. 

~~~~~

They indulge in a few episodes together before both of their stomachs start grumbling. Jack grabs his phone to open up UberEats. She gives him an insane look. 

“Jack you already ordered UberEats for breakfast, do you ever actually cook?” She arched her brows at him and he just looks at her cause lowkey she ate him up with that one. 

Oh yea forgot to mention, she got attitude that could last a lifetime and he fucking loved it. 

“You know I can’t cook!” He tried to justify but she’s already up and headed to the kitchen scanning the pantry and fridge for a simple meal. 

“Alright since you insist on me staying here for a week, you have to learn how to cook to at least survive.” She points the wooden spoon at him which causes him to laugh and throw his hands up in the air. 

“Goddamn Gordon Ramsey when did you even grab that!?” 

“Mmm don’t worry about that, give me a cutting board and knife stat! We making the world’s simplest meal. Pasta!” 

Pasta? Yeah no, he has spent his entire life over and under cooking pasta noodles. He watches her work the kitchen like a natural, pulling out ingredients he didn’t know what was what but he  tried his hardest to pay attention. She started with washing, then cutting then cooking. When it started to heat up in the kitchen, she tossed her hair up in a messy bun and in that moment Jack swore his heart could burst outta his chest.  He was trying his best not to stare inappropriately, but she was down right beautiful. 

Her ex was an idiot for letting her out of his sight, but he had to thank him because he’s not letting this chance pass up. There’s been multiple times throughout their friendship that her previous relationship and his hookups were not too fond of what they had. Which caused a few months of silence here and there. It use to kill him that he couldn’t reach out to her or hear her voice. She’s the reason why most of his hookups never lasted. Even during sex he wasn’t fully present, always distracted. 

As she finished up the tomato basil pasta, she turns around bumping into Jack not realizing he was so close to her. She felt so small around him, he looks down at her and smiles. 

“Hi” he says as he looks into her green hazel eyes that complimented her tan skin. 

“Hi…” she wish he would just kiss her, but she probably wasn’t what he even wanted. This man has the whole world at his feet. Why would he want her? They both stood there for a few extra seconds, just admiring their favorite features of the other. 

He swore she bite her lip 

She swore he was staring at her lips 

Kiss me already they both thought.

The sizzle of the pot reminded her she needed salt, so she purposely pushes up against him to grab the salt 

“Excuuuuseee me” she says innocently causing him to blush. 

“Smell yummy, thank you seriously” He says as she hands him his plate. As she makes her plate last, but Jack grabs it and heads over to the dinner table. Pulling out her seat for her, she happily sits as he grabs them some wine. 

“Oh my god, this is amazing!” He hums enjoying all the flavors that melt in his mouth. She’s really getting brownie points right now cause once his tummy is full he is a happy camper. 

This could be them, she thought. If only he wanted her. 

This could be them, he thought. If only she wanted him. 

After a few glasses of wine and enjoying the food together. Jack knew she was gonna crave something sweet because anytime he took her out dessert was always a must. He took her plate and nods his head for her to follow him.  

He grabs a bowl, vanilla ice cream, sprinkles, chocolate drizzle and whipped cream. Instantly her smile appears on her face, he still remembers her favorite toppings. How could he not though? He remembers everything about her. They both assisted each other is building the sundae. 

“Time for the finale!! Whipped cream!” She shakes it up and hands it to him to do the honors. Jack holds down the nozzle but it was stuck. He shook it one more time confused cause he literally just bought it when he told Y/N to stay at his crib. Yes he fully stocked the house and made sure it was squeaky clean before she got there. He even went to target and Ulta and stocked up on products she’d like or needed for the guest room. 

“This thing is stupid!” He holds the nozzle facing Y/N and it shoots out straight onto her neck and face. They both looked shock but Jack was trying so hard to hold his laughter in. 

“Oh you little shit!” They both busted into laughter. 

The wine definitely taking effect as laughter filled the air. Their stomach hurting so much from being full and the happiness that overcame them. Grabbing a towel, Jack pulls her close and the two still having the giggles. She wasn’t in control anymore because she couldn’t believe the words that was escaping her mouth. 

“Lick it off of me….” Jack freezes. Is he dreaming? Is she fucking with him? Wouldn’t be a nice joke but the way she was looking at him she’s lucky she doesn’t get bent over this island right now. 

“Are you sure?” He looks into her eyes wanting to confirm because if he starts god only knows if he’ll have the strength to stop. 

“Yea….make me your dessert.” She wipes some whipped cream off her neck slipping her finger in his mouth to suck it off. The need growing between them as she felt his tongue lick her finger dry. His lips meeting her neck, licking up all whipped cream on her as her moans escape her mouth. 

Fuck. He thought this was it, she’s gonna get eaten up tonight, he had to taste her. He was hungry for it. His hands caressing her face, as their lips finally meet. They both dreamt of this moment endless amount of times, but nothing….nothing could compare how this really felt. The little sounds she makes got him bricked up and aching. It’s almost as if she knew what effect she had on him cause her hand begins to palm him through his joggers. He groans into her mouth, causing a certain wetness to form in her panties. She never knew Jack had an aggressive side to him, she always teased him of being vanilla. 

He picks her up and sets her onto the island. Slipping her shorts off and spreading her legs. No panties? Fuck, her pussy glistened from her wetness under the lights. She closed her legs, starting to feel shy. 

“Nuh uh, open those legs for me. Lemme see that pretty pussy.” Oh god she loves this. He gets on his knees, kissing her lips, taking in her scent causing her hips to buck. 

“Jaack please don’t tease,” she feels his breath on her as he laughs, knowing exactly what he was doing. He takes her clit into his mouth, slowly sucking and swirling his tongue. He was so fucking handsome and with your pussy in his mouth made him even hotter. Working his tongue up and down your folds, you lift you hips slightly to ride his face. 

Fuck fuck fuck 

Jack couldn’t believe how fucking beautiful you looked under the island lights. Everything about you just amazed him. He works his movement with yours as he sees your body tensing up. 

“Fuck Jack, I’m- fuck I’m gonna cum!” In that moment he slips two of his fingers in, curving them upwards pumping them in and out. The only thing that could be heard was your cries and the wetness of your pussy. His fingers were big and long you could only imagine what he’ll stretch you out to. He pulls you close to him, placing little kisses along your cheek and neck. He lets you ride out your orgasm from his fingers. He only just begun with you, but he notices the slight sheen of sweat that covered your body. 

“You have no fucking idea how long I’ve wanted you.” He places a soft kiss on her lips. 

“Jack I need you, please.” She reaches into his jogger to pull him out. His tip already leaking with precum. Teasing him, she rubs his length between her wet folds causing him to groan. The lust that filled both of their eyes as they watch his tip play with her clit. Jack slipped in not being able to handle it anymore. 

Y/N lets out a soft cry not realizing how big he really was. Her back was cold against the marbled island, but the way Jack started pounding into her she couldn’t possibly give a fuck about anything 

“Jaackkk” she cries out throwing her head back

“I know it’s big baby, you can take it. Be good for me and take it.” His thumb starts to rub circles on her clit as he continues his ruthless thrusting. She was drunk off of his fucking. Not a single thought was running through her head besides the fact that he felt so fucking good and was deep.

“Look at you. Such a good fucking girl taking me. So beautiful baby.” He whispers his praises into her ear, till he feels her clenching him tightly. His free hand grabs the back of her hair firmly to make sure he was looking at him as she cums. 

“Mmm fuck, where do you want it?” She better answer quick cause those hazel eyes looked fucked out and he could barely hold on. 

“Inside me! P-please please” 

Jesus Christ 

He nods as he increases his speed, hitting a new spot for her causing her to come undone. She couldn’t even stop the babbling. 

“I love you I-I love you Jack.” He kisses her passionately, emptying himself deep inside her. 

“I love you too.” He says out of breath. 

He picks her up carrying them to his bedroom. She was completely out of it, her eyes closed and sleep slowly taking over her. He couldn’t imagine this moment any better. It happened so naturally. He tucks both of them in pulling her closely. She was his. He was hers. Thank god for that fucking apartment delay. 

~~~~~~~~

Y/N woke up feeling satisfied and definitely sore. Some of their friends were suppose to be flying in today to vibe for the next two days. She looks at the sleepy man next to her and smiles. They really had some nasty sex last night when just prior to that they were just best friends. She places a soft kiss on his forehead and decided to make them breakfast. She picked out some boxers and one of his t-shirts and got to work. As she was making them pancakes and eggs, the door bell rang and it was probably Druski since he had the earliest flight. She opens the door to see a girl, who looked like a super model holding a duffel bag. 

“Y/N, right?” 

“Uhh yeah…I’m sorry who are you?”

“I’m Jack’s girlfriend….”

Part 2? 😌

TAGLIST 

@dyttomori @harlowcomehome @itsyagirljaz

[honestlyandrogynousnightmare]

A study in Sherlock Holmes (s1e3)

So lets start this off on his inhumane tendencies. (FYI I do not believe he is a “high functioning sociopath”, pointing out his inhuman and sociopathic actions at the start of the series is just necessary to point out his development later on). BORED. This is truly when we first see how Sherlock acts in the absence of cases and distractions. He decides to shoot at a wall. The second odd thing we see is the head in the fridge. Its not exactly normal to keep heads in your fridge, though I'm not judging if you do. This sets his actions and beliefs throughout the episode up, perhaps not entirely ordinary and somewhat inhuman. This is continued through his behaviour towards the people who are making the phone calls. Its not that he doesn't entirely care, he focuses more on the case and the so called game instead. And that isn't entirely bad at all, its just clear that here, he lacks empathy for people. For whatever reason that is, whether he truly is a sociopath or he hides his feelings and emotions because it helps with cases. Though his focus on the case itself can go a bit far, especially the “although i did technically solve the case” part. Buttttt there is development by the end of the episode. Throughout the whole episode he ignores all the people getting killed but by the end he points out to Moriarty that "people have died" which shows that he does actually give a damn.

However, he does clearly feel upset when the old woman died and he was clearly stressed out of his mind when he has 10 seconds to save the little girl, so the emotions are there and you cant prove me otherwise lol. 

Something else I noticed is that he is self aware of his lack of sympathy towards the victims. This is shown so greatly through the “heroes don't exist, if they did i wouldn't be one of them” quote. It not only shows that he is aware of the usual human reactions when bad things like this happen, it shows that he is aware of his emotional repression (or sociopathic tendencies if you believe that) but you could also say (this could be a stretch but oh well) that he doesn't entirely believe in himself either, because after all, his causes are good, he is on the good side but doesn't see himself as a necessarily good person. 

Continuing on from my point on the study in TBB, i love his appreciation of the things he doesnt care much about. This is shown through the whole thing about the solar system, he cares about it so little that he doesn't know that the earth travels around the sun but he appreciates the beauty of it. 

The ending of the episode is beautiful to me. When he thought he had to set the bomb off, his entire façade was broken. For those 2 seconds, vulnerability and perhaps even regret are the only things written on his face. Because he doesnt want to die, hes young, finally made a friend and loves his job, death is probably  the last thing he wants. I saw this in a tumblr post a while ago, i cant remember the name of the blog but they said that this was the rebellious, rule breaking, disobedient child Mycroft sees and i think its a perfect summary.

This one could be a stretch too buttttt Donavan calling Sherlock a "freak" his expression does seem to change a little. It has always seemed to me that he really was bothered by people making fun of him, especially as he was made fun of at Uni and probably even before that. I'm not sure if it's me seeing things but it just shows that he does feel things and is actually affected by people like Donavan.

Now onto relationships:

The key thing about his relationship with John is the contrast between them, it's interesting how two such different people manage to live together. John is clearly still not entirely used to living with him, or perhaps will never fully be because let's face it, Sherlock isnt the most ordinary person. Their differences do seem to cause some issues though. Espiecally because John is prioritising lives instead of the game itself. Something I love is the "I'd be lost without my blogger" phrase. As funny and sarcastic as that may be, he does mean it. Because she literally would be lost without John, and that is shown throughout the rest of the series, everytime John and sherlock are separated, they're either not happy or one of them nearly dies. He does also give John a chance at deduction, not to make fun of him, just plainly giving him a chance which shows that it's not all arguments between them and that they are really friends. There is that small scene when John first steps out at the pool, when we cant see the bomb yet, when Sherlock really does start doubting John, so many emotions pass through him in that millisecond, I dont even need to list them, think about what you thought when first watching that. It was set up that way, us and Sherlock are meant to have the same reaction, shock, confusion, doubt, literal pain. Obviously that passes quickly, those emotions turn to worry for John. Something I feel like Sherlock never experienced to that extent, worrying for another person's safety. One other thing is the fact that they non verbally agreed to die together which is so telling of their relationship and how strong it is

His relationship with Mycroft is literally a classic sibling relationship put to the extreme. Sherlock is childish towards Mycroft, doesnt do a case hes interested in because Mycroft suggests it, and Mycroft is the stereotypical older sibling, calls Sherlock stupid every moment he can, acts like a greater human being but really does care about him.

Now onto Moriarty. Their characters mirror eachother so much, they have always been two sides of the same coin in my opinion. It's literally in their names "Colsultant Detective" and "Consulting Criminal". They're both smart, enjoy the game more than any outcome, and both have a great fashion sense. Sherlock admits it himself, "I cant be the only person in the world that gets bored", he knows why Moriarty is doing this, because hes similar to him, at least in that moment in time. Moriarty is what Sherlock could have become without Mycroft, whether he wants to admit it or not, Mrs Hudson, Lestrade, Molly and John. Though I dont believe they are overly similar later on in the series, when Sherlocks true colours start coming through, at this moment in time they are very similar. But anyway, their differences will be explored later on, when Sherlocks emotional side decides to show up. Though I wanna point out that Moriarty knows about Sherlocks sentimental side. He knows that he has a heart, and it's clear that Sherlock is just hiding that because Jim says that they "both" know. That heart, will later be "burned", apparently. And though Moriarty may not actually win after TRF, I still hold the opinion that he does partly, as throughout season 3 we do see how burned Sherlocks heart was buT THATS AN ESSAY FOR ANOTHER TIME!

[taleasnewastime]

Toad in the hole

Jungkook x reader genre: fluff word count: 1.6k

a/n: If I was to date someone that wasn’t British I would 100% love to cook them all the British food I know and love. Top of that list would be Yorkshire pudding, which contrary to the name is a savoury dish. That's the inspiration for this fic. If you are not British, I apologise that this is written as if the reader is, but you can be an honorary citizen for the day. If you also have no idea what Yorkshire pudding or toad in the hole is, please google and make it, it is honestly delicious and so easy to make. Anyway, enjoy the story.

You watch as the noodles boil, eyes flicking from the pan to Jungkook who stirs the pans contents.  

“You know I am going to cook dinner in approximately 2 hours?” You say.  

Jungkook’s eyes never leave the pan, his stirring continues as he mumbles out a yeah.  

“So, you’re going to eat all of that and then still manage to have food later?” You didn’t want to come across as judgmental but you also didn’t want him to eat so much now that he wouldn’t want to eat what you cook later.  

“Do you not know me at all Y/N?” His eyes leave the pan for a few seconds to look at you leaning against the door frame. “Yes, I will eat this and still be able to eat food later,” he says it dead pan and his eyes go back to focusing on cooking his noodles to perfection.  

“OK, because you know tonight I’m cooking toad in the hole,” you had been going on about cooking something for Jungkook that was traditionally British, your place of birth, for weeks now. Tonight was finally the night that you had decided to do it. “I hope you are not sabotaging it because you think the name sounds gross.”

“It does sound gross,” while you had been threatening your British cooking, he had been saying how weird and gross all the names sounded. You admitted that he had a point, but the names meant nothing. “Don’t worry love, I will be ready to eat whatever you cook for me later,” he says this as he pours out a bowl full of noodles, you eye him sceptically.  

“Leave a bit of room at least, once you have tasted even the smallest bite you will not be able to stop.”  

“I don’t doubt it for a second love,” Jungkooks elbow jutted out to lightly knock you as he walks past to the living room.  

You turn to follow him and see as he sits down on the sofa, blowing on the bowl still in his hands. “And you know you will be helping me cook it right?” You say as you fall down onto the sofa next to him.  

“But I might ruin it,” his eyes widen, his bottom lip jutting out slightly as he turns to look at you.  

“Kook,” you whine out.  

“Y/N, I’m joking,” as quickly as his eyes widened, they closed back to normal. “I wouldn’t miss the cooking a frog in the hole for nothing.”  

“Toad in the hole,” you jump in quickly to correct.  

“You know I want to learn all there is to know about you, and you always bang on about British food, so of course I want to know how to make it.”  

Your heart seems to grow in size at the words. Though as you look at Jungkook he doesn’t seem to realise how his words have affected you, simply continuing to blow on his noodles.  

The next few hours go by quickly as you both watch TV. When another episode finishes you take note of the time and realise that if you don’t start cooking soon you will be eating late into the night.  

Pausing the TV and jumping up from the sofa you tug lightly on Jungkooks arm to get him to follow you into the kitchen which he does easily. Pulling an apron over your head, you list the ingredients you will need.

“Flour, eggs and milk. What else?” Jungkook places the items down next to some scales.  

“Thats it,” you say, though Jungkook doesn’t look convinced. “Babe, this is why British food is the best. We are a lazy nation, we make simple food that tastes amazing. Trust me.”

“I never doubted you,” he says lightly, kissing the top of your head as you stand by the scales.  

You weigh out the ingredients and hand the bowl over to Jungkook. “Stir” is the only instruction you give as you walk over to the fridge to get the sausages. As Jungkook continues to stir you put the sausages in the oven with some oil. Walking back over, you place your head on Jungkooks arm to stare at the batter.

“Look good?” He asks.

“Perfect,” you say, though when he hands over the mixture you give it another stir.  

“Hey, I thought you said it was perfect,” a cry of outrage leaves Jungkooks lips.

You dip your finger in the mixture getting a small dollop on your finger before pressing it to his nose, “well now it is.”

As had happened earlier in the night Jungkooks eyes widened in shock. His hand stretched towards the batter, but having predicted his move you move the bowl away quicker than he could reach it. You enter into an almost battle, Jungkook trying to grab some batter, you trying to move the bowl out of his reach. Him being taller, and definitely stronger than you, he managed to pin you into a corner. Your arms reached as far as they could away from him but that was still not far enough, his arm easily stretching, finger dipping into the bowl and getting some batter before placing it gently on your nose.  

Now it was your time to mimic his earlier express, your lip poking out in mock sorrow. Leaning down Jungkook lightly placed his lips on yours, kissing away your sorrow. You place the bowl down on the side, deepening the kiss slightly you place your arms around his neck playing with the hairs on the nape of his neck. Before the kiss can go any further the alarm goes off signalling the sausages were done. A moan leaves Jungkooks lips as you push him away, picking up the batter again. Shoving the bowl into Jungkooks arms you head to the oven, taking out the sausages.  

“Right you can do the fun bit,” you say. “Just pour the batter all over the sausages.”  

As he pours it over the batter sizzles and bubbles slightly where it touches the oil, but ends up settling around the sausages to form a thick layer. You pick the pan up and put it back in the oven.

“Right 20 mins and we’ll come back and do the gravy and veg.”

“It’s that easy?” Jungkook asks arms wide as you step into them.  

“I did warn you,” you smile up from your place in his now enclosed arms.  

“20 minutes you say? And what shall we do with 20 minutes?” He leans down and plants a kiss on your lips.  

You hum out, mouth still attached to his. Leaning away you look into his eyes, you squeeze his sides and say, “I can think of a few things.” Taking his hand, you drag him back into the living room where you lightly push him onto the sofa, before you go and get a controller for the switch, handing it to him.  

“You are such a tease,” he laughs, taking the controller off you.  

Again, the time passes quickly as battle each other on Mario Kart. The timer for the toad in the whole sounds at a crucial moment in the game. A blue shell heading for Jungkook in first and you are in prime position to overtake when it does, meaning you can clutch the win. As soon as the timer sounds though Jungkook pauses the game.

“No! I had that!” You leap up and shout at the TV, and then at him. “You’re just bitter because you were going to lose. Put it back on so we can finish the race!”

“The timers going, that is the only reason I paused it,” he says calmly as he stands from the sofa, controller still in hand so you can’t take it from him.  

“You are a cheat and you know it,” you glare at him.

“I just want to taste your amazing cooking,” he continues to talk calmly, walking towards the kitchen.

“Did I mention that you’re also a sore loser?”

“I didn’t lose, so that’s impossible,” he turns, sticking his tongue out at you.  

Rolling your eyes you follow him into the kitchen where he has already started to gather the vegetables and things you’ll need for the gravy. It doesn’t take long for you to cook what’s left and by the time you are done the toad in the whole is nearly done.  

“You can take it out,” you hand Jungkook the oven gloves.  

Jungkook audibly gasps when he takes the contents out of the oven. The batter having puffed up around the sausages, encompassing them but not completely.

“I was not expecting it to look like this.”  

You laugh, knowing what he means, it almost surprises you every time you make it. “Take it to the table, why don’t we serve it there?” Following after him with the veg and gravy, you both places the dishes down on the table. Jungkook shuffles towards you, wrapping an arm around your side he lightly kisses you on the head.  

“This is amazing, Y/N,” he says.  

“You haven’t even tasted it yet,” you laugh looking up at him, his eyes already looking down at you, full of adoration. You lean up and kiss him on the lips before pulling out a chair and sit down.  

You serve up a portion each and take a bite, Jungkook following suit. His eyes widen, lips pouting out as he continues to chew on the food in his mouth.  

“Ah-maze-ing,” he almost shouts once he’s finished his mouthful, quickly taking another bite. “What British dish are we cooking after this?”

You laugh at Jungkook almost shovelling the food into his mouth, all worries about his noodles filling him up gone.  

“I don’t know, bangers and mash, shepherds pie, bubble and squeak or maybe spotted dick?” You laugh, at the expression on Jungkooks face.  

“British people are weird,” Jungkook says.  

“Yeah, but we have good food,” you smile.  

[moondrop04]

RWBY VOLUME 8 EPISODE 8 SPECULATION AFTERMATH!!!

SPOILERS!!!

SPOILERS!!!

SPOILERS!!!

Haaaaahhhh.....What sweet relief it is to finally have RWBY back again 😌. I liked this newest episode very much and even though most of my speculations were wrong again I was almost on the mark on some of them. Though I must say that I do have some questions regarding some revelations revealed in this episode.....so let’s get started with the Aftermath 😤

-(Prison Break and Timeline Confusion) I’ll be honest this may be my only critique of the episode for two reasons. The first being the structure of the episode on certain scenes and the second myself being a bit disappointed and confused on an entirely different matter....let me explain 😑. The scenes revolving around Qrow and Robyn and Cinder’s attack to break out Watts was not bad. In fact they are perfect the way that they are, except I feel it would work better if the scenes weren’t split apart from the beginning and start again the end of the episode. Wouldn’t it work just the same if both scenes were joined together and put at the end of episode after the reveal and death of the Hound? That way we can start immediately where we left off at the end of episode 7 and when Ruby and company’s fight ends we can end off the episode with the jailbreak scenes joined together. It may be just me but I would like to hear your thoughts on that if feel the the structure of those scenes should be placed differently or just stay the same.

Now to the second reason which revolves around my speculation post on how I thought this episode should have started. In my speculation post I said that the opening would revolve around Penny after her fall from Amity Tower and her journey back to Ruby and others back at Schnee mansion. The reason why I made that speculation was because of my confusion regarding the timeline of the events of episodes 5, 6, and 7 after Penny’s fall. Before volume 8 began it was stated by the writers that the timeline of the events of the volume would be only two days. So far that has been the case since episodes 1 - 6 has spanned out for one full day, but episode 7’s timeline began at the start of day two and ends at the evening of the same day. This is telling us, the audience, that Salem’s attack on Atlas has lasted so far for more then 12 hours and continuing. Now this is where my confusion sets in.....at the end of episode 5 we see Penny fall from Amity tower after watt’s hack began, but then we see her reappear crash landing at Schnee manor at the end of episode 7.....more then 12 hours later after her fall. Now common sense tells us that given the height she was falling from Penny would have at least have had a couple of minutes until she would have crashed back down to remnant. Falling for 12 hours at that height would be impossible and even more so conveniently falling on the exact location where her friends would be. Soooooo my question is......where WAS Penny during those missing hours while Salem was attacking Atlas? Could maybe that wound that she is leaking from explain what she was doing? I was kind of hoping that we would be able to get some answers on this for this episode but as you already know no luck there. Maybe we’ll get answers in a future episode but if we don’t then even I would say it would be too much of stretch for the writers to leave us insinuating on what may have happened. CRWBY, I understand that you have a lot of faith in us to figure this s*** out, but you also gotta understand that some of us are dumber then a box of crayons and will be left more confused then a homeless man waking up in a jail cell.....so help us out please 😭.

-(Schnee Family development) Ok I’ll admit in my last Aftermath I was a bit hesitant in trusting Whitley’s latest character development.......buuuut after this episode I think the little s*** has grown on me lol. His quick thinking on how to handle transporting the citizens to safety with the Schnee company’s assets was really well done and though his attitude is still the same it is rather pleasant to see him have it on the side of good 😌.

I was hoping to see Willow do more as a badass and team up with Weiss in this episode but I’ll be content with what we were givin 😌. I got to remember some characters have to deal with some personal issues first before going full badass 😤. Willow definitely still has things she needs to sort out but I have faith we’ll see her get through them along with her kids.

Not much was developed for Weiss in this episode but I must say that one shot of her summoning that nevermore behind her was A-Mazing!!! Great job CRWBY on producing that shot 😄.

-(Action Sequences) I’m gonna make this quick because I’ve seen other posts complaining about how the action was lackluster or that the characters auras are nerfed to all Hell......and all I got to say about that is that I don’t give a s*** if the action isn’t as much as it should be. When I first started watching this show back in 2013 the only thing that got me hooked on the show was the action scenes. But over the years I have come to realize to just enjoy the story rather then only the action sequences. Whatever CRWBY gives us in terms of action going forward I’ll enjoy no matter what because I don’t want to be nit picky about the s*** 😤. And that’s all I got to say about that...

-(LadyBug) Didn’t I say back in my episode 2 speculation that we would be getting a LadyBug moment this volume? Well I’m a few episodes off the mark but we got a moment 🥳. Unfortunately for me this moment is overshadowed by a very worrisome thought I’ve had regarding how Team RWBY would go moving forward after volume 8 ends. The only thing I’ll say for now it does involve Ruby’s leadership position within the team in future volumes and that’s all I’m gonna say on that....😓

-(The Hound and Silver Eyed Warriors) Ok I can officially say that The Hound is currently my favorite Grimm within the series. Not only is it terrifying, strong and intelligent but I can say it’s the only Grimm that is the most expressive within the time we have known it. Now onto the biggest reveal of the episode......that The Hound was indeed a person, or rather a faunes, turned into a Grimm. Now I know what most people are saying is that this person is a Silver Eyed Warrior, given that his eye does show the same anime markings as other S.E.W do, so I’ll jump on the band wagon with y’all on this as well. Buuuuuut I’m gonna remain just a bit skeptical until I see further proof if this is indeed the case. Only reason I’m saying this is because I keep looking at this guy’s eye and it just doesn’t seem Silver, or rather grayish, like Ruby’s or Maria’s to me. I’m most likely wrong as always but I just want to make sure I have all the eggs in one basket before fully commuting going forward.

Alright thats about out all I got for this episode’s Aftermath and I just can’t wait to see what happens on this Saturday’s episode. Until next time............BUH-BYE!!!! 😆😆😆😆

[fucnhg-slee-p]

Hard times

Robert Pattinson x liza

prompt: something stupid leads to something epic

___


This was it, the stupidest idea you’ve ever had.

“We can call it... uh, No cum december”

“What? That’s the worst name ever!” Rob laughed.

You and robert were having game night and having the oh so normal conversation about how you’ve never actually participated in no nut november and for some god forsaken reason, wanted to try it out.

This conversation would have been quite weird with anyone else but you’re known robert your whole life, and when college came around ended up being roommates, the luck was unbelievable. He was your closest and practically only friend so of course you could talk about things like this without it being weird.

“Okay, well I’d like to see you come up with something better then!” You retorted, laughing.

“Uh...well I don’t know, no cum December is fine i guess” he said chuckling, obviously not being able to come up with a better name

“Ha! Uno!” You said putting your last card down.

“What! That’s not fair, you definitely cheated” rob said jokingly

“Yeah yeah whatever you say.” You laughed while putting the cards away and pull out another game.

—-

By now the games were put away and the two of you were watching tv, cuddling.

“Hey! It’s almost 12. In 20 minutes you wont be able to cum for 31 days” you stated, pointing at the time on your phone. Robert looked away from the tv in order to look at you. “In that case ill be right back..” he quickly got up and you both laughed. “I guess I should take advantage of it too”

Both of you were very open with each other so mentioning that you were going to masturbate wasnt really that weird. the only issue was that right now all you could think about was him.. for most of your life you’ve been in love with him, you’ve been in other relationships but it never felt as good as being around robert so of course none of them lasted. It felt wrong to think of him while you were doing this but you couldn’t help it, especially when you knew what he was doing in the next room.

——

11:59

by now you were both back in the living room as if nothing had happened, talking about how dumb this episode of fresh prince was.

12:00

“It’s twelve now, if either of us fail we have to tell each other” robert said, reaching for the popcorn on the coffee table and eating some. “Yeah we have to be honest about it, no cheating” you replied, taking the bowl from him, leaving robert with just a handful. “Hey!” He exclaimed, mockingly upset that you took his popcorn, he threw his handful at you, laughing.

You retaliated by dumping the bowl on his head, “alright, thats it” robert said moving from his spot on the couch to get closer to you, he put his hands on your waist and started tickling you until you had tears in your eyes from laughing too much and begging him to stop. He was laying above you laughing from how cute you looked.

———

It’s been 6 days and you feel like you’re going crazy, everything he does is the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. You feel like hes doing it on purpose, what an asshole.

After a long day (or week) of studying going from class to class, you just needed to relax but you were constantly on edge and robert was making it much worse. Right now he was just standing by the fridge drinking water but it was somehow the most sexual thing you’d ever seen

“Robert?” You sounded kinda pissed off but you really didn’t mean to

“Yeah?” He took a deep breath after completely finishing the bottle, with some water dripping down to his shirt, what the fuck

“What the fuck are you doing?” You were done with his bullshit, yeah it had only been a week but it was torture especially with the way he was acting

“I’m.. drinking water..” he answered with a confused expression, throwing the empty bottle away and walking towards your spot on the couch

“Ok well stop being annoying” you looked back at your notebook to continue with your studies. “Hey! I didn’t even do anything,” he laughed “i think someone needs to get laid, you’re getting a little frustrated huh?” He teased, only making it worse.

“No im completely fine” you lied “I’m just frustrated with all this shit” you said gesturing to your pile of books. you put your head in your hands “god this is just so hard” you were talking about both situations but if you were being honest the main reason for how stressed you felt was because of this stupid challenge it wasnt even for money or some prize, its literally for no reason.

“I’m sorry Liz, i can help out if you want”

“What?” You quickly looked up at him with a slightly shocked expression that you’re sure he didn’t notice “if you need help with your classes and stuff I’m here for you”

“Oh.” you sighed in both relief and disappointment “no its okay”

“Well if you need me I’m here” he put his hand on your shoulder and it sent a spark through your whole body. “How are you doing with this challenge anyway?” You changed the subject back to the only thing you could think about

“I’m okay, it was really hard for the first few days but now its kinda fun, especially when you think about how it’ll feel at the end of the month, you know? Waiting so long and then finally-“ “ok shut up!” You cut him off, this was all too much. He laughed “uh, do you wanna play Mario kart?” He asked softly, rubbing your back “yeah sure, i think i need a break from this anyway” you smiled at him, making sure not to stare too long.

——

After about 2 hours of playing and him winning almost every time, you ordered pizza and played uno while you waited. The whole time you were stuck on the way his hands moved and how his arms looked so good in the shirt he was wearing, he knew you were half zoned out but he figured you were just stuck thinking about school again.

The knock at the door pulled you from your haze “ill get it, you put the cards away” you said getting up to open the door.

You both ate in a comfortable silence for a while, little did you know he was suffering just as much or worse than you were. At this point you were both shamelessly staring at each other without the other even realizing.

Eventually you realized he was looking you up and down as if you were the only girl in the world and hes been waiting his whole life to have you, you slowly looked away as not to startle him or let him realize you were staring too, or even caught into the fact that he was looking at you with such hunger, which by the way was extremely painful to see from how hot it was.

the tv was quietly playing avatar “if you had a flying bison what would you name it?” You broke the silence

“Hm? Uh.. I don’t know, maybe Bryan”

“That’s an ugly name” you laughed

“Okay well what would you name a flying bison?”

“I would name it robert” you said, forgetting that you were talking to robert

he smiled “aw you’d name him after me?”

your eyes widened subtly “no.. i would just name him robert”

“Yeah ok” he joked, his hand brushed your outer thigh, for a little too long

You inhaled sharply at the sensation. It was only a short moment but it felt like forever and as wild as your thoughts were running it was much much worse now.

You don’t think he even realized how intense that was for you, it must’ve been all in your head, you need to calm down.

———

Now it’d been 10 days, you’re surprised you lasted more than 24 hours, really. But god these last few days have been hell, you’re sure roberts teasing you on purpose, trying to see how long you’ll last when he ‘bumps’ into you or takes his shirt off because ‘it’s too hot’ even though it was freezing. If one more thing happened you were done. You were at the library, trying to catch a break from the stress, listening to music and reading a short novel that caught your attention, sitting in the library always made you feel good. After a few hours of being there you decided it was time to head back to your dorm, on the way there you got a hot tea from the local bakery.

Walking into your dorm you were greeted by robert, sitting on the couch watching some documentary about something stupid. “Hey, i got you a muffin” you said putting your stuff down and taking your coat off. “God its so cold out there”. You handed him the muffen and sat next to him, silently watching the documentary and drinking your tea, figuring out it was about aliens. Without your knowledge he wasnt watching the tv, he was intently watching the way you drank the tea, the way your lips wrapped around the cup was addictive to him. And then it happened, he stretched and you glanced at him from the sudden movement, right then you knew it was over, you took a second look and you could’ve died, his stomach was peaking out from the hem of his shirt and his head was tossed back, showing off his collarbone, and his arms stretched above his head showing off his muscles. You were done. You were completely lost in a trance, staring at him for far too long

“What?” He asked sounding worried.

“I cant do this anymore” you let out a breath you didn’t know you we’re holding. Your eyes trailed down to his lips for a moment and he realized what you meant.

“You need me, don’t you?” You almost whined when he said that, he knew exactly how badly you wanted him, there was no denying it.

You both leaned in slowly, testing the waters before your lips finally crashed together, your whole body felt electric, you were on fire.

Pulling away for a moment, you felt dizzy. Resting your forehead on his to let your lungs catch a break. All you could do was smile “you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that” you said leaning in to kiss him again. It felt just as intense as the first time, he pulled you into his lap without breaking the kiss, your hands gripping into his hair while his hands roamed over your whole body.

He pulled on your bottom lip with his teeth and deepened the kiss, if that was even possible. He rubbed his hands up and down your thighs taking his time to get where you wanted him. “Please” you groaned, desperate for more

Obliging, he started to rub his fingers over your underwear delicately, gradually building pressure “mmh fuck” you moaned into his neck. “I’m already so close”

Suddenly he stopped and pulled away to look into your eyes. “Wake up”

“What?” You asked, voice laced with confusion

“I said, wake up” he said more aggressively this time, reaching to pinch you.

Your eyes opened and you were in bed, out of breath and covered in sweat. “What the fuck” you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes and got dressed quickly.

Walking into your shared living area you grabbed a snack and headed out to class — you were running late so you kind of rushed out. On your way there you texted robert, making movie night plans for when you both got back to your dorm.

Every time you closed your eyes you could see everything from your dream so clearly. You were barely hanging on at this point

—

Walking back home was dreadful for a number of reasons, one, it was freezing, two, youd have to see robert and be the way you always are with each other and not accidentally let your feelings slip out

Your phone buzzed

You got a text from robert

“I got Wendy’s, get home asap! I’m gonna eat your food >:)”

Smiling to yourself you sent a quick response warning him not to and started walking faster. Forgetting how hard it was to keep your feelings down, you were just excited to hang out with your best friend for the night, even though you spent most nights together, you were never tired of each other

—

You opened the front door and walked inside “Robert! You better not have ate my food” you yelled through the small apartment

Robert walked out of his room half naked, his only covering being the towel wrapped around his waist. clearly he’d just gotten out of the shower. “Dont worry i waited” he laughed. There’s no way this wasnt on purpose.

“Go put clothes on so we can eat and watch our movie!”

“Why am i distracting you” he smirked, his tone changing drastically. Still standing by the front door He walked up to you caging you between the wall and his body “is it hard for you to focus when I’m practically naked?”

It felt as though all of the air left your body, you closed your eyes for a minute to try to keep your cool— “liza?”

You opened your eyes again and robert was standing in front of you, at a normal distance — fully clothed

“You okay?”

“Yeah sorry, just stressed. Everything’s fine”

These daydreams are fucking brutal

You both ate in a peaceful silence and watched Scott pilgrim. After it was over you were having a regular conversation on the couch

“I think I’m gonna head to bed, its getting late” you said, about to get up.

“Wait” rob stopped you, “i have to tell you something”

He said nothing, just stared at you while trying to figure out the best way to get the words out. “You failed didnt you?” You teased, knowing whatever he had to say was more serious than the stupid bet “no no, thats not it” he chuckled, getting lost in your eyes

He moved a strand of hair out of your face and kept his hand on your cheek. Both of you just staring, too scared to make the first move. “Rob?” He hummed in response, eyes flickering to you lips “what did you want to tell me?”

He leaned in and softly kissed you. Before he could pull away you held onto his face.

“I have a crush on you” he whispered into the kiss, deepening it.

You moaned in response, climbing into his lap “is this real?” You said with desperation. “I hope so” he said putting his lips back into yours, pulling himself off the couch and walking into his room with you in his arms, not breaking the kiss

he gently laid you on his bed and held himself above you, moving his lips down your neck and sucking on a sensitive spot. He tugged at the bottom of your shirt, you sat up to help him get it off and he continued kissing down your body, stopping here and there until he made it to the waistline of your pants, he looked up at you while slowly pulling them down “please” as much as you loved how gentle he was being it was torture to go this slow “patience baby girl” he said kissing over your panties softly, moving them to the side he swiped his fingers through your folds then bringing them to his mouth, licking them clean “so wet already, how long have you wanted this to happen huh?” He said putting his fingers on you again. “Too long” you moaned.

Stopping his movements he pulled his ring off and put it on your finger, then continued his work, sliding his fingers inside of you now, slowly pumping them. “faster please” you cried out, grabbing into his hair. He thankfully started going faster, and faster and holy shit “fuck I’m so close don’t stop” your words were slurring together and you could hardly concentrate on anything going on beside the way his fingers felt “pleasepleaseplease” at this point the only thing coming out of your mouth was a string of cursing and pleas to keep going, and finally after two weeks of barely hanging on you felt so good it almost hurt, but he didnt stop there. He kept going, keeping up with his fast pace and now licking and sucking on your clit, you felt so sensitive it hardly took much to fall over the edge again and he still didnt stop until your third time and you couldn’t feel your legs.

“Holy shit” you said out of breath as he moved up your body to kiss you softly ��did i hurt you?” You shook your head in response, moving your hand down his body, “no, you don’t have to”

“I want to”

He stayed hovering over you as you stroked him at an agonizingly slow pace. After a while you pushed him down to lay beside you and you continued to take your time. It felt so intimate. “I love you” you whispered onto his lips as you kissed him. “I love you too” he said with so much admiration in his eyes. You moved your lips down his body and kissed his tip gently “I’m close” he pushed his head into the pillow and squeezed his eyes shut “please. Faster”

You obliged, moving you hand faster and taking him in your mouth, matching the pace of your hand. “Liza” he moaned quietly. You hummed around him in response. “I love you so much”. With a few more strokes he finished and you pulled off oh him, “i love you too” you said laying down on his chest “i cant feel my legs”

“Good” he said, wrapping is arms around you.

[chemicalpink]

Take a Selfie, Fake a Life ♡ Park Jimin x Reader

Pairing: Jimin x Reader Genre: PURE fluff (like, really) and a pinch of angst  Word Count: 3.2k  Warnings: Jimin is a broken boy, parents divorce, bi Jimin (thats not a warning but he does kinda unintentionally come out and is afraid) Summary: Park Jimin is most probably the most popular guy on campus, top student, dancing extraordinaire, Instagram star, except there is no depth to his life at all. There is only so much a camera lens can capture. A/N: Hello. I didn’t intend on writing this as it came out. I have a severe case of writers block in the middle of a depressive episode but nevertheless I liked how it turned out. Please enjoy!

Everybody knows Park Jimin. Even if they don’t, everyone has heard of Park Jimin. That’s the first thing you come to learn in your first year in college.

Truth be told, you first encounter Jimin during some maths class when you were both fifteen. It wasn’t exactly your class, but the school had decided to hold an academic competition and you just so happened to run against perfect scholar Park Jimin, head of the student council, first place in the semestral talent show and prom king two times in a row. 

All it took for you to break down his perfect facade was some stupid trigonometry question and being a mere two seconds faster at answering it than him. 

News flash: Park Jimin was not the perfect student he appeared to be. 

To say that you became non-existent to him was an understatement, he had somehow recovered from the slip two months later by becoming first place on a national elite math competition.

Not that you paid much attention to his life, but it was somehow hard to miss as years went by and he became a regular topic on campus while on college. Everybody knows Park Jimin. Even if they don’t, everyone has heard of Park Jimin. 

It was indeed hard to miss the hallway gossiping about how Park Jimin turned down Korea’s National Ballet, or how Park Jimin just got a whole another thousand followers on his Instagram because he made it into yesterday’s Dua Lipa’s Instagram story while both of them were in some exclusive bar, but you’ve come to know better than base your opinions on said man because of his social media, there is only so much a camera lens can capture; even after his unmentioned cold shoulder of five years, you had come to be a first-hand witness to his parents’ daily fights just outside your bedroom window, leading to their divorce and Jimin’s’ signature house parties just hours after he had cried himself to sleep; it wasn’t that you were nosy, but some things were just hard to miss. 

The shrine in which Park Jimin had found himself making a new home after leaving the one beside your own, the one that everybody had him on and paid their respects blinded by follower numbers on screen and price tags on the outfits he wore to school were all made of lies. 

To put it simply, Park Jimin’s life was utter bullshit but you seemed to be the only one completely aware of it.

“I could maybe, you know, talk to him for you if you’d like” Taehyung suggested as you both waited for your respective drinks after the partner lists for the campus seminar came out from the dean’s office, Park Jimin, Y/LN Y/N printed on the second to last sheet of paper, just above the terms and conditions of no change under any circumstances.

“Tae, I have no problem talking to him, really, he just likes to pretend like I don’t even exist” you said to your friend as he made a face that you knew was his way of asking for more information on the topic, a topic which you had been avoiding for the last year since you had told him you shared a past with the guy “I guess I’ll just drop by his dorm once classes are over, then he’ll just have to talk to me”

“Come on, Y/N-ie, just tell me already… did you guys used to date?” 

“You’re his friend, why don’t you pester him with these questions instead of me?” you retorted as you passed him his drink and took a sip out of yours, grimacing at the temperature of it

“I tried,” he said “But he denies even knowing you” 

You hum in acknowledgement as you both begin walking out of the café, your phone dinging as a way to let you know that you had a new notification on your social media, a message request from non-other than the devil himself, Jimin.

“Hey so, we’ll catch up later yeah?” Tae says, stopping while you still have your phone in hand “Let me know how it goes with your ex-boyfriend!”

“He’s not my ex!” you shout at him but he is already dashing down the sidewalk, opposite to you.

Jimin [just now]: hey Jimin [just now]: drop by my dorm in 10 You [just now]: oh wow, he talks! You [just now]: why don’t you drop by my dorm in 10 Jimin [just now]: I have an image to take care of, Y/N You [just now]: well so do I You [just now]: let’s meet at the library in 10 Jimin [just now]: fine.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“You know, you could at least abid to common etiquette and take your glasses off while we’re in the library,” you said as you continued tapping on your computer as a good five minutes went by after Jimin made it half an hour late to your study date “Plus, it’s rude from you to turn away while I’m talking to you”

“Just go on about what I should do for the project and I’ll make sure to deliver it before the deadline” 

“And here I thought you actually deserved the valedictorian from high school,” you said as you closed your laptop and pressed your hands together in a sarcastic manner before exhaling heavily “Just tell me already what your problem with me is, we’ll work it out before beginning the project”

Silence took over the table for a few seconds before someone walked up to him and they greeted each other exchanging a few words and you just smiled their way “I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Square up, Park. We’ll either talk it out or we’ll punch each other until it all goes away”

“Listen just- let’s get this over with so we can go back to pretending we don’t know each other” 

A few days after your first meeting in the library, things slowly started to work since you had accidentally dm him a meme that was meant for Taehyung, now working together through a shared drive and a few other meetings in the library when you both had time off after classes.

You were slowly woken from your sleep as a faint knocking sound kept lingering from somewhere, turning on your bed to look at your phone that signalled 2:23 am, you made your way to your dorm door, peaking through the peephole to see none other than Jimin waiting outside, dishevelled hair, oversized hoodie and laptop in hand.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” you hissed at him as your eyes tried to shield out the light coming from the hall “Do you even know what time it is?”

“Hello to you too, Y/N,” he said as he took a seat on the small desk chair beside your bed “I just had this idea stuck in my head for the project” 

“And it couldn’t have waited, I don’t know, until the morning?” 

“Not really” he turned to face his laptop as he began explaining out his idea to you, your mind not really processing the words that left his mouth but fixating on his face instead, from the way he stopped whatever he was saying every few seconds to lick his plump lips, to how his eyes shined with bright interest as his hands emphasised his words, a soft aura around him that made you wonder if you were to capture the moment, it would stand out from any other pic he currently had on his feed, even when in sweats and dark circles around his eyes, this was the first time you had truly seen Park Jimin shining because of who he was in the moment rather than who he was trying to be.

Your eyes shot open and your heart skipped a few beats as you felt an unfamiliar weight above your middle as you turned to be face to face with the owner of the hand that held you cuddled close, the same soft aura surrounding him as your mind once again wandered off; even though your relationship with Jimin was difficult and borderline uncomfortable as it was, over the days it had somehow become weirder, no doubt more uncomfortable now that you both were found cuddling against each other in your tiny dorm bed, how the night before he had appeared in your door to tell you about his input for the project only to have him dozing off a few minutes after on the desk when you had offered him to share your bed for a nap until his mind could get him back to his own dorm, which clearly did not happen as he was currently asleep beside you.

“Jimin” you nudged him a bit as he stirred and whined in protest “Jimin you should get back to your dorm before class” 

He opened his eyes reluctantly but almost jumped at the sight of you both tangled together in bed “Oh god I’m so sorry, I really fell asleep” 

You smiled a forced smile at him “yeah… no problem though”

He was quick to stretch around and bid you goodbye with a slight pink tint on his face before disappearing out the door and you slumped against your bed groaning. Sure, Jimin is quite a sight to see, he is one of the most handsome men you’ve come across, but having known him for five years, with most of the time barely talking to each other, to suddenly cuddling together over the night had your mind and heart racing. Which it shouldn’t. Because he had made it clear on the first day that after the project was done, you both would go back to how it all was before. Whatever happened in between were just… occupational hazards.

One thing that came with Park Jimin was the gossip. In exchange of thousands of followers, he had to practically give up his privacy, almost as if he was some kind of celebrity, the juicier the gossip promised to be, the faster it expanded around campus, the easier people got a hold of his most intimate moments, which you came to learn sooner than later, with Taehyungs’ text attached to a set of pictures of Jimin walking out of your dorm adorned with an overlayed white text that read ‘Walk of shame on a school night’ and a few flashing gifs. Which you guessed he saw since he didn’t contact you for the rest of the week.

The next time you saw Jimin wasn’t exactly planned. The university had sent off a few invitations to some fancy diner just outside campus to be attended by a previously selected group of students representing their majors, amongst them, obviously, Park Jimin. 

A few hours into the night, and more than a few cocktails after, you had seen most of your classmates leaving except for a certain blond one that you had seen take off to the balcony, which you approached “Jimin? I’m heading home do you want me to-oh” his hands were placed around the middle of another man as his lips trace his exposed skin, Jimin turning to face you in surprise, heat rising to his cheeks as you turned your leave

“Y/N wait!” he called after you, his shoes clicking just mere seconds after your own as you made it towards the door until his hand grabbed your wrist to turn you around “Y/N…”

“It’s- nothing Jimin, really, you and I aren’t even a thing” you smiled at him and even though the words you spoke were true, you couldn’t help the clenching of your heart at the sight you had just encountered “I’m heading to campus if you wanna share a ride” 

His eyes scanned your face, hand never leaving his grip on your wrist as he took out his phone with his free hand to call an Uber and taking both of you outside to wait as your mind raced a hundred miles per second about the whole thing.

The whole ride was silent, even though you ached to ask him why in the hell would he call a whole SUV for the two of you on a 10-minute ride back, but you came to figure it had to do with something about his ‘image’. He was kind enough to walk you back to your dorm building, despite you advising against it, given the photos from a few weeks before that had him separating from you “Listen, Y/N” he whispered as you turned to him before the glass door “I need to ask for a favour” 

You just hummed in acknowledgement for him to go on  “What you saw tonight… no one can know I’m into guys”

That just about did it. You’ve known Park Jimin for five years, you’ve seen his parents’ marriage dissolve right before your eyes, no doubt he knew about it, yet he somehow thought of you as some telltale, you held his whole real-life secrets in your hands, none of his social media, selfie-induced lifestyle. 

“There’s nothing bad about being gay, Jimin,” you said back in a whisper, on your last sanity thread you could muster

“I’m not gay” his eyes fixed on the floor beneath him as he absentmindedly played with his shoes “I’m bisexual” 

“Yeah so, is that another relatable thing for you to post on your social media? Or are you actually being true to yourself for once?” his gaze fixated on you as if you were spitting venom at him “Don’t worry about it, Jimin, just don’t ever contact me again. Your secret is safe with me. Just like all those years ago” 

You were slowly making your way back home after one of your firsts nights out with some friends when out of the corner of your eye you catch a glimpse of an all too familiar silhouette, seated cuddled up in one of those comfortable café couches was none other than Park Jimin, lips brushing against this other guys’ you knew from school, a few years older, Min Yoongi, hands held together and as you subtly tried not to stare, you couldn’t help but feel happy for him since he seemed genuinely happy in the moment, something you thought he deserved, given the whole ordeal going on back at home.

You didn’t think much of it at the time; sure, it was kind of frowned upon in such a small and closed-minded place like Busan, and you wouldn’t even dare to think about the hell that would rise if high school heartthrob Park Jimin turned out to like guys, but Jimin seemed like the type to place his happiness first. 

Up until during one of those tedious dominical women-only Sunday brunches your mother had started to bring you to, Jimin’s mother approached you for small talk.

“So how was yesterday’s date?” the teasing tone she was using throwing you off at first but everything seemed to click at once. Jimin’s mother had always not so subtly hinted at her son that she would love to have you as her in-law, with Jimin just brushing off the comments whenever she came up with them at one of your gatherings, going as far as setting you up as her son’s plus one to a family Christmas dinner. 

Jimin had just told his mother he was going out with you to hide the fact that he was going out with a boy.

And it somehow felt like your responsibility to cover up for the boy next door with the broken home, as if the happiness you had seen him exude when you saw him kissing that boy depended on your ability to lie right there and then. And you did.

Park Jimin stayed true to your wish and didn’t even attempt to contact you for the next week or so, you could see him occasionally writing his assigned part on the drive for your final project, his social media as dead as it could get, which quickly aroused questions on his well being plus some questionable rumours once he wasn’t seen around campus for three days in a row like how he had probably just gone studying abroad, but somehow, deep down you knew better. You didn’t know the Park Jimin that was the constant talk of the campus, no, but you knew perfectly well the Park Jimin from a broken home that likes to spend his days inside and cry it all out.

Once your final grade came back with a perfect score, and Jimin had completely missed the revision session, you found yourself walking to his dorm to share the news on your joint efforts. 

The first three times you knocked on the door there was no answer, until the fifth one a messy-haired,  shirtless Park Jimin opened the door with swelled eyes and pouty lips 

“I’m sorry” you blurted out

“You have nothing to be sorry about, I was kind of asking too much of you” he mumbled, lips trembling as he stayed close to the door 

“Jimin” you reached your arm to him, in an attempt to comfort him “I am in no place to validate your sexuality, nor am I one to go around telling people  who you love, I guess…” you breathed in an attempt to calm your racing mind and trembling lips that threatened to sob “I guess I just want you to be happy for who you are, not who you let others see”

“Y/N…” 

“No, just please listen, it’s been years, I want you to know that all those things I’ve kept to myself are in no way meaning that you are somehow indebted to me, I did it because you seemed happier that way” his hand came up to hold yours, softly caressing it as he motioned for you to come in and take a seat next to him on the couch

“Y/N you’ve been there for so long, through more bad times than good ones I guess” you both giggled at that “And I’ve been so ungrateful for it. If someone is to thank for the way I’ve been able to live this fake dream life I thought I wanted, it’s you, Y/N” 

There was a long moment of silence where he kept on playing with your hand in his, and unspoken shared remembrance of all the times you were a silent witness he knew he could find solace in until he broke the silence.

“It’s true, you know?” you raised your head to meet his eyes in a questioning look “that I’m bisexual”

You smiled at his words “What is that supposed to mean, Jimin?”

Suddenly his small smile faded and he drew closer to your face, his hand coming up to reach your cheek and caress it a few times, his eyes fixed on your lips, waiting for you to lean into him the way he did “It means, Y/N, that these past few weeks I’ve been happier than I ever thought I could be, with you” he pecked your lips for a second “Because of you”

[flockofdoves]

putting this under a cut for anyone not caught up to the last 2 episodes of the magnus archives (but especially could spoil people not up to the end of season 4 even by just glancing) but i just had some thoughts about what was uttered in the background throughout

okay so like. obviously theres a lot going on here when actually reading out the official transcript of what jonah was saying in the background the episodes 192 and 193 but just to list some stuff thats sticking out to me

ok so going like. kinda backwards here in the order of whats said here but

the last half of the second to last section to the middle of the last section seem to very obviously be describing when oliver banks fully chose to become an avatar

“there is nothing he can do from here upon the threshold to a house she almost knows to be a home” makes me think this is referring to salesa’s house (edit after 196. maybe makes more sense for it to be the house on hilltop road) and the “she” here is annabelle cane

the first part i was interpreting as being about jonah in elias’s body and how in his current position where he is looking at things very big picture he’s realizing what oliver said about the inevitability of death

but also rereading while i’m not holding as much water to this interpretation because the eye can’t predict the future or anything (although i guess even with the first interpretation it sounds a bit speculative. but since jon said he thinks the eye wants him to take jonah’s place thats still a bit less of a stretch for me) i got myself freaked out that “stained with red that’s not his blood whose blood he bled but this is not from him and yet he knows he loved this blood when once it beat within a heart that joined to his through choice or circumstance” and a lot of the surrounding paragraph instead of referring to jonah in elias’s body could also actually be about jon and martin and whatever tragedy this all might end in. actually the more i read this the more i’m scared this might not be about elias realizing the flaws in his plan and the more i worry its about jon. maybe jon is paying attention to all jonah is saying and already knows how to interpret all this and still is going through with everything even if its futile

not really sure! theres a lot going on in this but at the very least it seems to be emphasizing the power of the web and the end even in a world of the eye. sure do keep looking at the line “hands that might be moved by others or that might just now be his”

some of the parts about “her” seem to be talking about annabelle’s path to becoming an avatar? and the way it flows into the part about oliver very much makes it seem like she/the web had a role in that. which isn’t surprising considering when oliver talks to jon while hes in his coma and tells him he needs to make the choice essentially whether to die or fully become an avatar he says

and then speaking of characters annabelle hangs around not sure what it means really but theres this description of what happened right after salesa secured the broken lensed camera before he faked his death, admittedly i’d normally interpret this as having something to do with the vast so maybe im leaning too much on this right now but this does remind me a bit of the descriptions of what were happening during olivers choice here. so idk. something about the web weaving all of this together for some goal

i feel like theres so much just out of my grasp with this!!!! i dont know!! i feel so close to things clicking though! which i guess makes sense since we’re so close to the end now hahah wow... regardless though both very excited and dreading to see this all play out i can feel something so terrible among all this

[megashadowdragon]

whitleyschn33 . tumblr . com/post/190331295478/the-kiwi-is-not-a-pewee-id-like-to-pose-a

ozcarpins tags to reblog the above Tagged: this, team RWBY would rather let EVERYONE die than make a hard decision, its exhausting to think that the narrative is going to pretzel around them to make them write again,  , .

marithlizard said: I don’t know what the right answer is, but I do think a panicked retreat into a siege is a bad idea. They haven’t prepared for this, embargo or no. The other two relics will fall while Atlas floats in isolation, and Salem will find a way up there. If she destroys the rest of humanity, is that really a victory? Maybe if you know that putting all four relics together will summon the gods and end the world. But James does not know that.

the-kiwi-is-not-a-pewee said: @marithlizard​ The point isn’t so much that Ironwood’s hasty plan is a good idea necessarily or one that is sustainable, its that the one RWBY put forth is unviable because they don’t understand that Atlas is alone in this right now. No one can help them and Atlas’s resources are exhausted. They can’t survive another major hit, but RWBY isn’t putting forth a better solution.

marithlizard said: @the-kiwi-is-not-a-pewee Yeah, I’m not claiming their plan is viable either. Like I said, I truly don’t know how the right way to turn this around. But once they’ve started on the “commit an atrocity and then flee into a corner” plan it can’t be backed of. Stop that plan first, then think of a better alternative.

the-kiwi-is-not-a-pewee said: @marithlizard​ That’d be great, wonderful in fact. Except that they don’t have the time for that. Everything is falling to pieces around their ears right now and Salem isn’t going to give them the luxury to breathe while they figure out something better. She will probably get the relics anyway if they just sit where they are, because they can’t hold her off. They don’t have the resources to.

marithlizard said: @the-kiwi-is-not-a-pewee You’re not wrong, but “no time for that” is relative. Ironwood came up with his plan in a state of complete panic, shock and post-battle shakes in what, five minutes? (I can’t see the episode yet but that’s what it looks like). The kids’ counterplan was even more reflexive. No wonder they suck. Actually, what they really need to do this minute is lock down Oscar and the lamp and review security footage in the office (½)

marithlizard said: (2/2) to see who left that chess piece, that kinda thing, and keep evacuating while they do. Then take at least an hour or two to brainstorm. Raising Atlas can’t happen instantly anyway, and not having the two sides at each others’ throats will improve the odds of success whatever plan they go with.

marithlizard said: But, panicked flailing on all sides is what happened and now we’ll see where it goes. :)

the-kiwi-is-not-a-pewee said: @marithlizard​ I agree that they should slow down and take some time to hash shit out before actually taking action, but they really don’t have time for that. At least, not immediately. Don’t read on if you don’t want spoilers, but Oscar is MIA with the relic and Cinder has effectively signaled that she’s infiltrated the academy. They have to take care of THAT first before they do any breathing and shit. IF they have time afterwards to plan, thats what they should do.

marithlizard said: @the-kiwi-is-not-a-pewee Yeah, I think we may actually be close to agreement here. There are oh-shit-right-now things to do, and then there are need-a-plan-PDQ things after that. (And honestly I don’t think Ironwood is in any shape to be doing either. You know what this place doesn’t have? A cranky McCoy type medic to storm in and point out her patient should be unconscious right now and could someone more sane please take over.)

the-kiwi-is-not-a-pewee said: @marithlizard​ I want someone else to take control of the situation because I agree, Ironwood is NOT in the right mindset to be dealing with any of this and the man has been stretched beyond his limits. He needs fucking break.

[fearsbellsarchived]

[me? Thinking about a gf fairytales au instead of being productive? More likely than u think!!! think ou.at buT BETTER and w/o the real world dimension hopping part. under the cut bc i just copy/pasted my tags from forever ago to put them in one place

mabel and dipper are hansel and gretal

paz is sleeping beauty 

bill is maleficient 

if we’re gonna get disney about it wendy as merida 

i LOVE the idea of tambry as rapunzel??? 

mabel can also be like...eric from the little mermaid 

so mermando can be ariel 

gIDEON AS URSULA/VANESSA IN THAT VEIN THO 

bill is also rumplestilskin 

stan can be the huntsman (idk from which story cause theres a fEW BUT)

ford is the sorcerer from fanstasia 

ford is teaching dipper magic....and instead of a true love’s kiss that’s how he wakes paz (maybe?)

the northwests made a deal w bill like in the most famous version of rumplestilskin but instead of wanting paz for himself he just wanted to steal her body at 16

so when they lose the deal they ask for help from ford and ford’s like “yo i can maybe change the deal??? a little bit???” so instead of bill taking her over when he goes to she falls asleep ​

so dipper wasnt supposed to wake her up but he found her and fords notes and he and mabel went on an adventure

bill is all the villains 

billains 

so stan has to leave mabel and dipper in the woods (idk y it wasnt for long the twins are just impatient) so stan disappears and the twins are like “lETS EXPLORE THE WOODS”

they come across some creepy old house w a lot of spiderwebs (can u guess the villain yet?)

an older woman comes out and is like “why are you guys lost in the forest?”

mabel points to the glitter trail “we’re not lost”

dipper looks behind them ‘mabel!!! where’s all the glitter?!”

(ACTUALLY MAYBE ITS YARN???) 

so they lose the trail 

meanwhile stan is losing his fucking mind

he follows the stray glitter but it’s blown all over

he feels “LOST IN THE WOOOOODDDS!!!”

so the old lady offers for them to stay the night bc its getting late

dipper is SUPER sus but he plays it cool surprisingly

mabel is So In!

long short...stan eventually saves them from darlene’s trap

usually shes just a maneater but look

when u live in the woods u do what u can

so stan hauls them back to their cottage

dipper knew there was weird shit out there but he wants MORE

he starts going through his great-uncle’s journals (*cue the dipper squee*)

he reads about bill and his deal w paz’s parents

he’s like....’maybe we should rescue her?’

ford wont tell him why they cant

so dipper and mabel sneak out

they steal the grunkles’ boat

mabel falls over board???

dipper tries like HELL to save her

but then he sees mermando save her

SO MABEL IS SAVED BY MERMANDO!!! 

gideon (who had long-loved mabel from afar) finds out

he visits the merman to trick him

all mabel remembers is his voice

so YES mermando trades his voice for legs just like the movie

sue me okay w his distinct accent it makes sense!!!

so the twins get sidetracked bc mermando shows up out of nowhere

they dock on a small island for a pit stop and thats when ‘kiss the girl’ happens

they dont kiss so they move on

they dock on another stretch of land the next day

AND GIDEON APPEARS

the twins have only heard about him from their grunkles so mabel hears his voice and goes *heart eyes*

mermando is Distressed

dipper is Focused on getting to this sleeping princess

mabel makes fun of him for liking her

SO GIDEON HAS MERMANDOS VOICE!

at one point dipper catches him w/o the amulet that makes him sound like mermando

and he tells mabel and its kinda like “the hand that rocks the mabel” or whatever the ep was called

it takes dipper and mermando being threatened (and gideons voice slipping) for her to catch on and she breaks up w him

dipper wants to throw him overboard

they just leave him on the next inhabited island they find

mermando got his kiss but decides to go back to the ocean anyway

he promises to write

mabel is Sad

SO BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED ADVENTURE!

the twins come across a land near the one paz is on and decide to stop for food and to stretch their legs and other hygiene things

they find out there’s some archery thing going on and mabel is like ’ooooh can we try?!’

turns out its for neighboring kingdoms’ princes to win a princess

mabel and dipper think this is RIDICULOUS so they crash it

mabel steps up to shoot and everyone’s like ‘wHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?’

then dipper steps up beside her. neither of them have shot a bow before

they shoot at the same time. mabel’s like thisclose to the bullseye. dippers too far right

THEN!!! PRINCESS WENDY COMES OUT OF NOWHERE

DIPPER AND MABEL ARE IN AWE OF THIS VALKYRIE. THEYRE BOTH READY FOR HER TO KILL THEM BC THEY THINK ITLL BE AWESOME

but wendy is like ‘ACTUALLY ILL SHOOT FOR MYSELF THANKS’ and splits like three arrows down the middle w her accuracy

she looks at mabel and dipper and is like ‘u dudes look fun! ive never seen u before who are u???’

and they’re like ‘WELL!’ and launch into detail about their adventure w overlapping voices and sound affects and VAST description

anyways. i cant decide how old people are rn okay 

so wendy is like “hey dad??? im going on an adventure w these guys!” and her dad is like “unusual but u DID just win ur own hand. so ill allow it”

“YES! can i take soos too?!” 

“sure!”

sO THEYRE OFF AGAIN!!! lemme tell u the ship is filling faST!!!

they get to paz’s land. and the first thing they find is a girl in a tower with long purple hair.

everyone is pretty much just making ‘wtf’ faces for like....ten minutes.

finally wendy calls up the tower like “YO! WHATS W ALL THE HAIR?!”

tambry leans out the window w a bored expression and goes “its mine. im tambry. who r u?”

they introduce themselves and are like “u wanna come on our adventure?”

then....ROBBIE APPEARS!

and he knows where the princess is!!!

”oh yeah. her. shes also in a tower. its got a door but its guarded by gnomes.”

then robbie climbs tambrys hair pecks her cheek and ducks in the tower

they decide to head for the tower robbie directed them to. but they have to pass the castle. Northwest Castle

robbie warned them about the northwests. said that the princess was one and before she disappeared she was the snottiest brat hed ever met

so they became friends despite the fact that he plays music for a living (and not very well either)

her parents told her of the spell when she was twelve

so robbie’s like “they are not nice people and neither was she??? most of the townsfolk are glad shes asleep tbh”

but dammit! dipper came here for an adventure!!! he wasnt going to stop just bc the princess wasnt what he expected!

so they continue on!

mabel is like “maybe she doesnt KNOW how to be nice!”

and soos is just excited to be there!

and wendy is just...u kno...chill

they start to get close to the castle and they feel like they’re being watched

and then soos notices the PEACOCKS!

they assume theyre spies for the king and queen. which is half true?

they can also warn bill if someone is near pacifica

oh damn imagine that

being stuck asleep w a DREAM DEMON in ur head

sorry for the accidental psychological torture paz

WHICH IS THE ONLY TORTURE SHES HAD!

i think to make up for risking her life as a baby ther parents were like “we’re just gonna spoil u rotten and PRETEND u do no wrong eVERYTHING IS FINE”

so dipper is reading the journal and he FINALLY gets to the true loves kiss part of the deal

and he looks around at the party like “oh shit true love what do we do???”

mabel suggests he at least try and everyone agrees that yeah okay thats the back up plan

but dipper wants to use a SPELL!!!

so the king and queen see him w the journal and remember ford having the same one

so everyone is brought to the king and queen

theyre like “pRINCESS GWENDOLYN?!”

bc this is MY STORY and if i wanna give wendy a more princess-y name thEN I WILL

i say as i continue to refer to mason as DIPPER!!!

SO THEYRE MEETING THE NORTHWESTS!!!

wendys like “yes that is me the princess” and then everyone else introduces themselves...w dipper introducing himself as mason bc it just sounds more fairytale-y

soos is jesus (hey zeus! not jee sus)

soos is like....wendys bff/personal servant but mostly bff

so they explain their adventure to the northwests as quickly as possible

preston is no patient man and he’s is like “tbh its probably important she be here for her 18th bday soooo??? as long as she wakes up by next year why not???”

but only bc dipper was like “i wANNA USE MAGIC I DONT WANNA KISS HER THATS PLAN B!!!”

plus u kno...even if he DOES whats the guarantee itll work???

the guarantee is me being a filthy shipper tHATS WHAT!!!

so they continue to the tower!

there is probably a sidequest thingy with giffany bc i liked that episode

also soos needs more screentime im sorry

SO THEN!!! FINALLY!!!! THEY MAKE IT TO THE TOWER!!!

WHICH IS!!!

IN FACT!!!

GUARDED

BY

GNOMES!]

also theres a manotaur/multi-bear sidequest i just thought of bc i like THAT episode!!!

is this gf, a fairytale, sk.yrim, or a d.n.d campaign now??? WHO KNOWS!!! ITS NOT ME!!!

SO THEY GOTTA GET PAST THE GNOMES!

first they offer safe passage in exchange for mabel as their queen

after thats declined theyre like “or the redhead. well take her!”

this is also declined

finally jeff tells them to attack

at first the party tries to fight them off and they do okay

uNTIL SOME GNOME WEAPONIZED SCHMEBULOCKS RAINBOW PUKE!!! (i think it’s toxic tbh but i dONT REMEMBER)

finally mabel just pulls out her trusty crosSbow (aka “GRAPPLING HOOK!”) and they just make a tightrope to the window above the door

wendy goes first and NAILS it

then everyone else follows

soos almost falls and gets left to the gnomes but everyone helps him balance and they all make it through the window

coincidentally. the window leads to the princess’s room

OH MAN WHY DIDNT I USE THE PTERODACTYL?!

oh well. anyways.

everyone is looking around the room and like...taking it all in

dipper takes a moment...then walks over to the princess

he isnt sure if waking her will also wake the demon

crossover even more w my old paciphera au??? idk probably not

so dipper tries the spells he narrowed it down to

none of them work

all his friends have returned to the princess’s room and mabel is like “u gotta kiss her brobro!”

so dipper...poor poor dipper...just leans forward and kisses her

paz pretty much snaps her eyes open when dipper is a half inch from her face while he’s pulling back 

and even tho she was forewarned she wasnt expecting DIPPER so she SCREAMS

dippers ears are ringing

she shuts her eyes and stills her breathing and sits up.

AND SEES EVERYONE ELSE AND SCREAMS AGAIN

“i dIDNT EXPECT U TO BRING *FRIENDS*!”

so once shes a little more calm they explain the whole adventure to her

paz feels a little honored they came all this way just for her

also since True Love beats everything bill is like.....back in his home dimension. also paz has been fighting him for like....over a year.

so paz is like....ready to Go. u kno. just wants to go HOME.

they get pazs shit together and exit the tower through the door

she says goodbye to the gnomes. all by name.

“oh yeah mom and dad made them my personal guard when i was like...eight. theyve been prepping for this my whole life. they’ll meet me back at the castle.” so then she starts telling them about herself and her last like 

two years of being asleep w a DREAM DEMON

“sometimes i got the weirdest nightmares??? and they never ended. but when i woke up i couldnt remember anything specific.”

she and dipper talk away from the group. he tells her about how hes her true love and everything “okay well. we’ll have to lie to my parents and say it was a spell. bc they will NOT approve of us being true loves and if they hurt you...”

“then they hurt *you* too!” dipper finishes (idk maybe a combo w a soulmate au thing?)

meanwhile mabel is like...whining about boy problems??? and wendy is like “this is y boys r dumb.”

soos is like...wandering off. I WANNA INCORPORATE MELODY BUT WHO SHOULD SHE BE?!

paz and dipper start like....arguing about how to deal w her parents

apparently they actually ARENT that nice. if she doesnt marry a prince they’ll give her over to bill completely...or something idk

SO theyre nearing the castle!!!

theyve written theyre grunkles okay no worries. also mermando.

thats y mabels complaing about boys.

mermando and that manatee wife of his!!!

paz is not exactly ready to face her parents so she convinces the party (roll for charisma) to go the long way

which is actually just circles

anyways

we run back in to melody and soos and the party is like ‘wHOOPS WE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE GLAD U DIDNT GET EATEN BY A SPIDER LADY!

maybe melody is like....a fairy???

something light and ‘childish’ bc thatd fit her personality

soos is like “ive BEEN here. u dudes have been going in circles.” and everyone glares at paz.

“im sorry!!! i just dont want to go back!!!”

“ur dad made us promise to have u back for ur 18th bday.” says dipper while he tries to stay mad at his future wife

paz is like “YEAH SO HE CAN MARRY ME OFF TO A PRINCE!!!”

idk why paz and dips are being better at being soulmates here okay i was like....sleep-drunk when i first wrote this

so the party has a choice to make.

take paz back home where she wont be able to be w her TL (which in some cases has probably led to death) OR!!!

sneak her out and take her home w them?!

wendys probably gotta go back to her own kingdom tho.

and soos wants to stay w melody

U KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED?!

sTAN NEVER GOT TO BE SOOS’S DAD!!!!

SORRY SOOS!!!

so anyways

mabel and dipper decide to help her sneak out

luckily she knows all the blindspots

it takes longer but they finally make it back to their ship

they say theyre goodbyes to soos and melody and paz wishes them well in her kingdom. she promises to return when shes ready to rule

they load the ship and sail to wendys kingdom next

they stay a few days to recuperate

paz has trouble sleeping bc when she does the nightmares come back.

cue a kat.niss/pee.ta thing where paz sleeps next to dips bc it keeps the nightmares away

wendy has to explain why soos isnt w them to her dad who kinda shrugs it off?

“u proved u can protect urself.” or something.

after like.....a whole fucking year the twins are heading home.

paz and dipper sleep together on the ship too bc its just fucking easier

paz is nervous to meet the grunks

she and dipper arent exactly....dating??? its def more like soulmate au

where theyre AWARE theyre supposed to be together but they dont even rly know if they WANT to be together.

paz is p much “i dont rly wanna be w anyone else. ill let u kno if that changes.” and dips is like “tbh same.”

mabel is already planning a big royal wedding.

iDK Y BUT I WANT THEM TO FIND OUT THEYVE BEEN ROYALTY ALL THIS TIME??? probably just bc i LOVE that trope!!! but theyre not so its whateves.

so they FINALLY get home. mabel has been writing letters this whole time. to mermanso. to soos and melody. to wendy.

shes the captain of the dip.ifica ship and shes gotta keep her crewmembers in the know!!!

the twins also wrote to the grunks the whole time so!!!! no worries!!!

paz tries writing to her parents...but she can never find the right words.

meeting the grunks isnt as bad as she thought???

stan loves her off the bat. partially bc shes rich and bc she doesnt take shit

ford is pleased to meet the girl he saved and shes v v thankful to him for saving her life as best he could.

it takes her like a YEAR to write the letter.

she promises her parents she’ll return. AFTER shes married.

at this point she and dipper ARE together. they figured all theyre confusion out and are just living the good life!

mabel and wendy are doing the long distance thing. shes still friends w mermando.

robbie and tambry found paz and they write back and forth.

u CAN TAKE ROBBIE AND PAZ SIBLINGS FROM MY DECOMPOSING HANDS!!!

everything is as happily ever after as it can get.

and then dipper proposes despite knowing what it means.

BUT THATS A WHOLE OTHER ADVENTURE!!!!

*end credits roll. an epic theme song starts playing*

[loretranscripts]

Lore Episode 53: Trees and Shadows (Transcript) - 6th February 2017

Credit for transcribing this episode goes to @laqueus-ludovicus! A big thanks to her for helping me with this project, it’s massively appreciated.  

tw: animal mutilation

Disclaimer: This transcript is entirely non-profit and fan-made. All credit for this content goes to Aaron Mahnke, creator of Lore podcast. It is by a fan, for fans, and meant to make the content of the podcast more accessible to all. Also, there may be mistakes, despite rigorous re-reading on my part. Feel free to point them out, but please be nice!

Some of the things we see aren't what they appear to be. Heather Bowie and her cousins learned that lesson back in 1989. She was eleven at the time and according to her mother, Karen, it was a bright winter day, the sort of day where the sun reflects off every inch of snow, which always has a way of making dark objects like houses and trees stand out. Heather and her cousins were walking along a small country road that ran between their town and the next when they saw a dog sitting in a stream near the roadside. Well, stream might be too strong of a term, it was just a bunch of run off, the sort that passes beneath roads through those big metal tunnels. It was a drainage ditch basically, but kids love dogs, so Heather and the others veered off the road side and into the snow to walk toward it. They assumed it was a local pet that had wandered a bit too far from home, so they planned to check its collar and see what they could do. But even from a distance it looked a bit odd. To be specific it looked too big to be a dog. They took one more step toward it and then stopped. They stopped because that's when the dog turned to look at them. And as it did so, it did something they weren't expecting - it stood up on its hind legs like a human. Obviously frightened, the girls ran home as fast as they could. Humans have always had a connection to animals. We live with them in our homes. We depend on them for food and resources. We identify with them, sometimes even treating them more like people than beasts. We speak to them, we name them, and we project human personalities on them. For thousands of years, we've treated them as if they were more than animals. But of course, that's just our imagination. If we believe the stories, though, it might be more true than we expected. As I said before, some things aren't what they appear to be. Sometimes, they’re worse. I'm Aaron Mahnke, and this is Lore.

Our connection to animals is nearly as old as humanity itself. We've almost always treated them as important parts of the world around us, although different cultures have expressed that importance in a variety of ways. The common thread, though, is that animals have always helped us better understand our world. Some cultures have revered them as gods to worship. Others have seen them as valuable sacrifices to offer to whatever deity they wanted to please. In many cultures, animals have served as our companions through daily life, and in others they journeyed with the dead to the afterlife. Just think of what we know of ancient Egyptian culture. There were entire cults built around specific animals, like bulls and cats, their dead were frequently buried alongside animals that held personal or spiritual significance, and many of the Egyptian gods and goddesses were represented through simple animal symbolism. Anubis, for example, was part man, part jakel. Sekhmet was a woman with the head of a lion. Ancient Hindu teachings for thousands of years have demanded deep respect for the animals around us. In China, the ancient philosophies of Confucianism and Daoism both stress the same thing. With the Hindus, that respect is founded on the idea of reincarnation, in China, it's rooted more in moral responsibility, but the result is the same. Animals are and always have been important to us, and yes, I know that ancient cultures focused a lot of their religion and practice around the sun and moon and stars, but they often framed those complex systems with simple animal language. Thats why so many cultures have their own zodiac symbol, where the major constellations are represented by animals. The Greek root of zodiac, by the way, literally means “circle of little animals”. Just an aside – the ancient Egyption word for cat was meu, which sounds a lot like the noise that cats actually make. And that classic stereotypical dog name, Fido? It comes from the Latin word fidelis which means loyal and faithful.

It's easy to see then how animals have helped us understand our world a little better. They help us find our bearings and keep us company in a big, wild world. More significantly, though, they've helped us understand ourselves by giving humans a sense of identity and purpose, a theme or a banner to unite around in a sense. Sometimes those themes are took the form of religion, as was the case in Egypt with the bull cult. Sometimes it's more of a totem thing, where an entire tribe or community built their identity around a significant animal in their environment. Sometimes they did it for a feeling of safety, sometimes it was a symbol of power. In Icelandic folklore the Norse warrior class known as “berserkers” were members of the bear cult. Berserkr in Old Norse literally meant “bear shirt”, but it also embodied tha fierce, powerful nature that they wanted for themselves as warriors. They were often depicted wearing bear skins and sometimes even bear heads as head coverings. That's a tradition that still survives, by the way. You can see it in the ceremonial military caps worn by some personnel in multiple European countries. The most common tribal animal, though, has always been the wolf. It's a global fascination, with examples found in Mexico, North America, India, Mongolia, and the Middle East, and this is probably because wolves represented so much of what early humanity identified with. They moved in packs, they hunted their food, and they have a distinct social order. Any hunter-gatherer community would instantly admire those qualities. And like bears, wolves were also seen as brave and powerful warriors. Ancient Persian and Hittite warriors were known to dress in wolf skins for battle. Interestingly, though, they also had a reputation for tossing their weapons aside and just jumping on their enemies, literally biting them like wolves. For a very long time, you see, humans have wanted to be animals, which of course led to stories where that was the case - animals that became people, people that became animals. It's an idea so powerful that we can find it hiding inside the folklore of dozens of cultures. The Native American skinwalker, the Nagual of Central America, and of course, throughout much of Europe, there's the werewolf. These are stories, of course, artifacts from another time, when animals were gods and humans desperately wanted to imitate the divine. And yes, these stories also address our dual nature, because we are in so many ways nothing more than animals ourselves, but those moral lessons have a way of distracting us from the plot. For thousands of years, people have told stories about mysterious beasts – and it turns out those stories might be more real than we care to believe.

In 1989, a woman was driving along the same country road that Heather Bowie and her cousins had just walked along weeks before when they sighted that strange creature. In Lorraine Endrizzi’s case it was well after sunset, so she was doing the responsible thing and scanning the edges of her headlights for wild animals. Wisconsin has plenty of deer, after all, and deer don't mix well with windshields and front ends. Lorraine worked as a manager at one of the local bars in Elkhorn and had just wrapped up a very long, very tiring shift. All she really wanted to do was get home safely, but when she did notice something unusual, it wasn't in the periphery of her headlights. It was right in the road in front of her. Seeing it early gave her the chance to slow down and swerve to avoid hitting it, but it also helped her get a good look at it. From a distance it looked as if there was an animal hunched low to the pavement of the oncoming lane. It's head was gently bobbing at an irregular rhythm. She couldn't tell for sure, but it almost seemed to be eating. As she slowly passed it, she claims she saw everything. It was eating, alright. Whatever it was, the creature was hunched over a pile of roadkill, pulling big chunks of flesh off the dead animal. Lorraine said she could clearly make out what appeared to be long, white fangs that protruded from a gray snout. Together with the pointed ears, she couldn't help but think of as a wolf. The trouble was this wolf was kneeling on the road, like a human. It's one story, I know, and stories that are born in the middle of the night after an exhausting day of work are often full of flaws. That might very well be the case here. I think we've all had moments where we've seen things that don't make sense, so Lorraine’s story could just be a bit of midnight confusion, I suppose – if it wasn't for the other stories.

Two years later – on Halloween night, in fact – it was Doris Gibson’s turn. She was just 18 at the time and had been driving out to pick a friend up for some trick or treating back in town. Like Lorraine before her, she was driving that same stretch of country road, named for the old Bray family farm that it passed. According to the story Doris later told to a local reporter, she’d briefly taken her eyes off the road to switch channels on the radio when she felt the car lurch. It was as if, she said, she'd run something over. Frightened by the possibility of what had just happened, she stopped her car, put it in park and then got out for a look. Doris, it seems, wasn't a big horror movie fan, because anyone who knows anything about horror films knows that you never, ever get out of the car. Ever. Still, there wasn't a scratch on her car. The bumper was spotless, there was no sign of blood or fur or anything else that might hint at fresh road kill. And even more convincing, there was nothing on the road, no dead animal, no unlucky farmer out for an evening walk, not even a pothole. There was no clue anywhere that could explain the bump shed felt. She was about to turn and head back to her car when movement caught her attention. There was something in the trees and shadows along the roadside. According to her, it was a large figure that stood upright like a man but seemed hairy and very muscular, which (as you might imagine) was a pretty shocking thing to see on a dark, lonely country road. So Doris did the smart thing and bolted for her car door. As she did, this thing, whatever it was, chased after her. Doris said she could hear the heavy thud of the creatures feet on the pavement behind her and the sound of the deep, panting breaths. Thankfully, she managed to get into the car and shifted quickly back into drive, but as she pulled away, she felt her car shudder once more. When she looked in the rear view mirror, all she could see was the dark silhouette of the creature filling her back window. It had jumped onto the trunk.

Whatever her attacker was, she claims that it fell off when she got her car moving quickly enough, but she wasn't willing to stop for another look. She did, however, continue on to her friend’s house and eventually they both headed back to town for some Halloween fun. Later that night, on her way back along Bray Road to drop her friend back off at home, Doris swears she saw the figure one more time. It was far off in the distance, at the edge of her headlights, but it was the same unmistakable shape. Tall, thick and very animal like, but standing upright on two legs. It wasn't until the next day in the safety of her own driveway and by the light of the noon day sun that she took another look at her car. There, on the trunk, she found evidence that something very unusual and very dangerous had taken place the night before: long, vicious scratches all grouped together as if they were made by claws.

This is the point in the story where you're probably expecting me to clarify what the creature was. All of the physical descriptions certainly point toward the folklore regarding werewolves, but almost no one in Elkhorn made that connection. Maybe that's because there were never any stories of humans transforming into the monster, or perhaps it's because the sightings weren’t limited to full moon nights. In the end, whatever it might have been, the people of the area took to calling it the Beast of Bray Road. There were other theories, of course. One common suggestion was rooted in the Native American folklore about a giant wolf known as the Shunka Warakin, which was described as sort of a hybrid between a wolf and a coyote. Others have made comparisons to the Inuit stories of the Amarok or the Waheela, both of which were enormous, monstous wolves. But honestly, there are far too many human charactristics attributed to Bray Road creature to make the comparison stick. Then, that’s without taking into account the additional sighings. Because Lorraine and Doris weren’t the only witnesses to see something strange along that stretch of country road and once they spoke to a local reporter, others found the courage to come forward with their own tales.

Marvin Kershnick was one of them. According to his testimony, he had his own encounter way back in 1981, a full decade before Doris Gibbson. Unlike the others, though, his sighting didn't happen in the dark. He'd been driving along Highway 11, which runs just north east of Elkhorn, and as he approached the turn off for Bray Road, he saw an unusual animal in the trees along the side of the road. Kershnick slowed down when he saw it and then pulled over to get a better look. The way he described it, much of the creature was obscured by the underbrush, but it was clearly wolf-like. They stared at each other for a moment before the beast moved toward the car. Frightened, Kershnick drove away quickly. Five years later, in 1986, Diane Koenig was traveling in the same area, returning home after a day in nearby Berlington. From a distance, her headlights didn't give her a very clear view so at first it just looked like a tall man was walking along the side of the road with something heavy in his arms. As she drew closer, though, all of that came into focus. According to Koenig, this man had the head of a wolf, and the heavy burden that it held in its arms turned out to be a full sized deer. Unlike Kershnick though, Koenig didn't stop for a closer look and instead sped up, just in case the creature decided to give chase. She kept the story to herself for years out of fear that she’d be considered a lunatic.

More stories flooded in. One unnamed girl told the authorities that she'd been chased up a tree by a wolf then had to stay there for over an hour while it paced around, trying to find a way to climb up after her. What struck her as odd, though, was that the wolf walked around the tree on its hind legs. When she led her parents back to the tree the next day, they found large claw marks on the lower portion of the trunk. Even Scott Bray, who lived on the family farm that gave the road it’s name, claimed to have seen unusual things, including enormous wolf tracks on his property. Local animal control authorities were called to several homes in the area to examine and collect a large number of mutilated animal corpses. A few townsfolk tried to blame that one on Satanic cults, but everyone else agreed it was just the Beast of Bray Road. There was a good amount of fear in town, as you might expect, but the sightings were also creating something else that's lasted to this day. A reputation. The bar where Lorraine Endrizzi worked created a menu item called the Silver Bullet Special. A bakery in town started making wolf shaped cookies. Think Roswell New Mexico and UFO collectables but with wolves, and I think you'll get the idea. Even Chuck Coleman, a local state representative, got involved by using the Beast of Bray Road in his election marketing. He ran an ad that showed a man dressed up as the Beast casting his vote for Coleman. Perhaps proof of the popularity of the Bray Beast stories, Coleman won his election. Doris Gibson's encounter also seemed to have been the last sighting of the creature by travelers on Bray Road. After that, Elkhorn Wisconsin sort of became quiet – for a while, at least. You see, in the spring of 1992, county animal control officer John Frederickson was called to a field outside of town, to the east near Bray Road. This is a man who was used to the occasional road kill or injured farm animal. He’d seen a lot in his career. But when he arrived at the field, he was well out of his depth, because there, laying in the pasture, were the bodies of five horses. Their throats had all been slashed.

It seems that people are drawn to animals and we always have been. And if the internet’s collection of cat videos and dog tricks tells us anything, it's that our passion for these animals isn’t fading any time soon. Perhaps they meet a deep, unspoken need in our soul or maybe they just trigger the right pleasure center in our brains. Whatever the reason might be, animals are significant to us. But every time I see someone dress up their dog in a sweater, I can't help but think of how, for a very long time, humans used to be the ones dressed up as animals. We envy their grace, their strength and their power, and that envy has woven itself into the very fabric of global folklore. But what if there's another reason why we tell stories of animals that act human? What if, deep down, we fear the possibility, or that our ancestors told just enough stories about human-like animals that we wonder, just a little? Whatever it was lurking in the trees and shadows of Elkhorn, Wisconsin back in the early 90s remains a mystery to this day. No answers have been uncovered, no unusual corpses have been found in the woods or along the roadside, no nests or dens, or whatever sort of dwelling a creature like the Beast of Bray Road might have lived in. All we have is story. Sometimes all we ever have is story. All of the witnesses who came forward to tell their stories seemed to agree on the details, and surprisingly all of them appear to be telling the truth. When a documentary on the events was being produced in 2008, all of the witnesses agreed to take a polygraph exam, and each of them passed. It's not irrefutable proof, I know, but it's enough to make you wonder.

Sometime after the events of the early 90s, a local who lived along Bray Road looked out his window to see a man standing in his driveway with a handgun. Obviously frightened by the sight of an armed stranger in his yard, he called the police, who quickly arrived. José Contreras was immediately arrested and his handgun, along with 50 rounds of ammunition, was confiscated. He eventually went to trial and his lawyer attempted to build a case around self defense. Contreras, he told the judge, was looking for the Beast of Bray Road, which he believed was a werewolf. That meant, according to his defence, he wasn't a danger to anyone else. The judge, though, dismissed the notion and convicted Conteras anyway. His reason? Apparently none of the bullets in the gun had been silver. Maybe it's fantasy, maybe it's real, but it's amazing in the very least how parts of fantasy can become so accepted that they play a role in something as significant as a criminal trial.

One final tale. Just six years ago, more witnesses came forward about a new sighting. One night in October of 2010, six people were driving together down Bray Road. Down the road ahead, they watched as shadows seemed to move across their path. As they drew closer, they watched the shape run into the open field to their right. What they say might seem hard to believe, so we’ll have to take them at their word. They claimed it was an animal, covered in fur, and similar in appearance to a wolf - except it was running on two legs and not four. Once it reached the field, the beast dropped to all fours and bolted off into the darkness. One final detail sets this report apart from all the others, though, because unlike every other encounter dating back over 30 years, this one finds a way to make the Beast of Bray Road even more frightening. According to the witnesses, it wasn't a single creature. There were two of them.

[Closing statements]

[jiminshoney]

Where You Belong (Part 3)

Word Count: 10,773

Warnings: language, cheating, brief mentions of black mirror’s black museum episode (spoiler ig if you haven't seen it?), a cliffhanger, and angst but you knew that

[ tumblrs a jack*ss and links are broken, pls check my blog to catch up on the first three parts ]

Your body betrays you by waking you up agonizingly early, before your alarm has rung and before the sun has even had a chance to rise. The glaring numbers on your phone reveal that it’s barely 5 AM. You groan into the cushions beneath you, frustrated because you have to be at work in three hours and you were just robbed of a potentially meaningful last hour of sleep.

Opening a single eye to look back at the device’s bright screen, you can’t ignore the top notifications which continue to blink and beg for your attention. 15 missed calls and a somewhat impressive 28 unread texts all from Jungkook. It’s more than he sent in the month alone.

Your first thought is to ignore them, you want to ignore him, it’s too early to even think about processing what he has to say or replaying last night’s events. A sharp pain spreads through your chest, stretching until it meets your rib cage where there lies an almost forgotten void. There’s always those few seconds the morning after something terrible has happened, a moment of ignorant bliss, until your mind and heart remember and everything hurts again. The ache reminds you why last night went the way it did.

You don’t know that you can handle whatever he has to say, though you are curious...

Curious if someone who’s still in love and terrified of losing their girlfriend sends 28 texts and calls 15 times. Is that what it meant? Was he scared, desperate, remorseful? Or did he only offer a pathetic apology in twenty-something streams of the word sorry?

Driven by curiosity, you press a thumb to unlock your phone and open all the unread messages from last night.

From: jungkook♥ [5:19 PM]

Y/N

Can we please talk about this?

can you jus t come back please??

From: jungkook♥ [5:21 PM]

hello?

Y/N please answer

From: jungkook♥ [5:22 PM]

please pplease please

From: jungkook♥ [5:27 PM]

Where did you go

????

Im outside just tell me where you are

From: jungkook♥ [5:30 PM]

If not can tou answer?

Please answer the phone

From: jungkook♥ [5:32 PM]

fuck

Hello? Where did you go

Tell me where you are

From: jungkook♥ [5:33 PM]

Its fine if you decide to hate me for the rest of your life btu let me talk to yo about this first

Just give me a chance to explain everything

I mean there is no excuse but i wanna talk about this

From: jungkook♥ [5:35 PM]

pick up!!

From: jungkook♥ [5:37 PM]

I am begging you rn justsay something

Im outside, Please?

From: jungkook♥ [5:40 PM]

If its too soon i get it just  let me see you for a second

If its too soon just tell me

but atleast tell m where you are?

From: jungkook♥ [5:45 PM]

Do you want the apartment? I’ll leave nd get a hotel

From: jungkook♥ [5:50 PM]

???

ffs just let me know you’re safe ok?

Please thats it

From: jungkook♥ [9:36 PM]

I love you y/n. Whenever you see this, you don’t have to call me back jus let me know that you’re somewhere safe alright?

  “You love me? Right.” After a click of your tongue you chuck the phone back onto the table. Out of sight, out of mind, you think with a throw of the blanket over your head.

His messages didn’t offer any relief, all they’ve done is overwhelm and mildly irritate you because he acts as if you at least owe him the status of your location and quite frankly- you don’t owe him shit.

How dare he act worried about you and have the nerve to type out that disingenuous four-letter word like- I know you just found out my coworker sucked my dick but goodnight, love you. The audacity! Why should you have to tell him where you ran off to when he cheated on you and hid it for a week? Oh so well, as one may add, because there hadn’t been a sliver of suspicion. Had Taehyung not even been a factor, would he have ever told you? It’s unlikely and no one will ever know. It’s possible that he may have after much much time had passed, so maybe you’ll possibly tell him that you are in the safe confines of someone-who-actually-loves-you’s home… after much much time, of course.

All of this quickly reminds you that you don’t have any of your things. Your hygiene products, clean work clothes, fresh underwear, makeup, etc. You didn’t even have your purse after abruptly leaving your apartment.

A frustrated groan escapes you because now you must figure out how you’ll properly get ready for work the way you normally do. The last thing you wanted was to go back and run into Jungkook. Some days he left bright and early at 5:30 AM and you can take your chances and hope it’s one of those mornings, but it could just as likely be a day he’s decided to sleep in until 8. His app is finished so he shouldn’t have any standing reason to go in early, if not for the fact that he missed nearly a week of work, so he may. The odds were 50/50, it’s better to not risk it.

There’s also the option to call out of work, to stay in and sulk until an hour that he absolutely couldn’t be home, pack all your things and run away to a small town where nobody knows you until things get better. While tempting, you’re realistic and know that you cannot just uproot your life because you’re sad. The mere thought of having to go out and put on a brave face in front of the world today while you felt broken inside was tiring in itself, but sulking seemed exhausting. It wouldn’t make you feel any better, so you might as well go on like it’s any other work day. You could just shower here, pull your hair in a bun, stop at a Target for clothes and other necessities on the way and everything would be fine. At least you’d be able to busy your mind with something other than the fact the love of your life shit on a three year relationship for another woman no less.

-----

Around 9 AM, your work phone rings loudly against the desk. It sends your heart racing into a frenzy because the only person who ever called was your boss, and she only called for impromptu staff meetings or more specifically- to fire someone.

“Y/N~” To your surprise, the lobby receptionist’s voice sings at your pickup.

“Hyerin, good morning!” You smile, thankful that you aren’t losing your job too.

“You have a guest down here waiting for you.”

“What..?”

Your poor heart doesn’t get a chance to relax, there was only person who came to visit you at work. A person who shouldn't be visiting you right now.

“Mhmm! He brought you coffee~!”

“He?” Your jaw clenches, there could be no way. Jungkook could not be ridiculous enough to show up to your job first thing in the morning. He specifically said he understood if it was too soon for you! Why is he doing this?  “I-- tell him I’m not in today!”

“He would know I’m lying!” Her hushed voice scratches against the receiver, tickling your eardrums uncomfortably.

“Then tell him I’m busy.”

“But he’s being so patient,” She says, her once melodious voice becoming sympathetic. “Shall I have him wait a few minutes?”

“Just tell him I don’t wanna see him, okay?”

“Oh but Y/N! I said he brought you coffee! Don’t be impolite and just come down, okay?”

Her end briefly goes silent before the endless dial tone beeps to indicate she’s hung up before you could utter another excuse. You mentally curse her because her greatest quality is that she’s the kindest person on earth, but her worst quality is that she’s the kindest person on earth and can’t tell unwanted guests to go away. In her defense, she doesn’t know that your boyfriend has been unloyal and you have a very valid reason for not wanting to see him.

On the way downstairs you are fully prepared to pour coffee over Jungkook’s head and curse him out for showing up to your place of work uninvited under the current circumstances. It’s disrespectful and he’s crossing a line by being here, you couldn’t wait to send him on his way. He couldn’t force you to talk if you didn’t want to. Though, that reaction would surely cause a scene. You will instead kindly let him know he’s being unprofessional and ask him to leave.

You practice the words again and again, it’s a must in order to not break the moment you face him. After all, the last time you saw him you were a bawling mess with mascara smearing on your fingertips and telling him you hated him while feeling like you might pass out. You couldn’t be the weak one this time.

Walking down the hall from the elevator your heart is still racing but you feel a sense of confidence even if it’s mild and fake, you’re just ready to get it over with. He’s leaning up against the front desk, distracted in a conversation with Hyerin as you approach. Heart thumping, the back of his head becomes clearer, strands of ash brown hair…

Your feet freeze against the marble flooring, “Taehyung?”

He swiftly turns at the sound of your voice, shoulders visibly relaxing when his eyes land on you. “Hey!” He pauses to turn, grabbing two concealed drinks off the edge of the reception desk, and closing the gap as he walks to you. “You left without saying anything.”

You should feel relieved but your mind and body hadn’t aligned, heart still shaken up over thinking he would be someone else. “Y-yea… I’m sorry. I left you a note, it was really early.”

“Oh! My fault, I didn’t see it. I came to make sure you’re okay.” He quirks a brow, letting you know his statement is indeed a question.

Not well given everything that’s happened, but that’s obvious. It wasn’t lunch time yet so it was possible in a few hours you’d be ready to slam your head into a wall but you’ve survived so far.

“I’m fine, Tae.”

His lips fall to an exaggerated frown, he is unconvinced and unimpressed by your attempt to not even sound dry. “How are you really, Y/N?”

You sigh, he would not be Taehyung if he didn’t at least try to get more from you. “Well… I’ve already cried once at my cubicle, I’m wearing $3 concealer that does nothing for the bags under my eyes, I have a minor headache and I just nearly had a heart attack because I thought you were Jungkook but other than that I’m okay, really.”

“You cried?”

You open your mouth to speak but get caught on an answer. Maybe you shouldn’t have slipped that part out not only because it’s embarrassing but now he’d just worry more than you knew he was. But it’s too late and the confession was made.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

A month or so after Jungkook you’d also gotten a job, specifically the one you had now. Like Jungkook it wasn’t at all what you wanted to do. The first few weeks after graduating were hard, all of the places you really wanted to work just weren’t calling back or would immediately send the dreaded thanks but no thanks email. Your mom had forced you to stop being so nit picky and apply wherever you could, passively sending you links to job openings she would spot online herself. Eventually you scored a job in the corporate world- lucky enough to make a decent amount of money, get home early, and not work weekends. Not so fortunately, you were stuck in some boring entry-level position in a finance department. It was the last thing on earth you wanted to be doing but you’d felt obligated to take it because up until that point your parents were helping with rent and other money related responsibilities.

The only person who really knew how you felt back then was Jungkook. At first you claimed it was different, like you’d said to him then, at least he was doing something related to his dream career. But no, really, he got it. He understood the fear you had of not being able to move away from this, the weight of life’s responsibilities, the overwhelming desire to just do what the hell you were passionate about, he knew it all too well.

On your first day of work he printed one of the hundred-something selfies you two had taken on graduation day and bought a frame for you to prop on your desk. He’d told you not to peak and to assemble it once you got to work, obviously you didn’t and couldn’t resist temptation, and the surprise was a short note he wrote on the back.

Baby, Congrats !!!

I know you’re not excited but I will be excited for you because I’m really proud of you still. You always remind me that bad days are temporary when I complain about work, ha ha, I want to remind you that too. I know nothing is perfect right now, a lot of things suck, but you still have me. I look forward to the future because I still have you. We may not have our dream jobs but we have each other so hopefully we can live our dream life soon. Just hang in there!

I love you more than anything  - Jungkook

You couldn’t stop grinning the first time you’d read it. It was hard to find the words to say to him, hard to express your gratitude and how thankful you were you had him, you could only text him and say I love you so very much and that was enough for him.

Seeing that photo of your younger selves first thing in the morning was aggravating to say the least. You’d immediately slammed the frame down, picking at the back to take the pieces apart, intentions to tear the picture in half. But when you yanked it free from the slot and blue ink came to vision, you paused and read what he’d written less than a year ago. Tears were brimming before you realized. You didn’t have the guts to rip up the picture then, instead you shoved it in one of your drawers to be forgotten until you stumble upon it another day.

Taehyung looks at you worriedly, and it’s the same look he gave you yesterday before he turned your world upside down. A look you can now identify as the I-have-bad-news look.

“I saw Jungkook on my way here.”

“Okay?”

“He asked me if I’d heard from you.”

“Oh God... Taehyung please don’t tell me you told him I spent the night at your place.”

“I told him.”

“Why!? Why would you do that!?”

Hyerin’s only a few feet behind him, so as her head turns and her prying gaze briefly catches your eyes you glance around the two of you quickly, checking that no one else heard your brief outburst.

“I- I didn’t realize- I don’t know? I’m sorry?”

Taking a deep breath in you close your eyes to calm yourself. You don’t mean to yell at him, he hasn’t done anything wrong or gone against verbalized wishes. You know this. You’re just on edge, emotional, and you didn’t want Jungkook to know where you were.

“Is it because it’s me? You didn’t want him to know you were with me?” He asks.

“What? Taehyung, oh my God, no! It’s not about you.” You try not to raise your voice anymore, though you were sure you were probably scowling at him, annoyed with his assumptions.

“Forget I asked.” He’s good at keeping his voice level, manages to not react after you, but you can tell he’s just as annoyed with you when a muscle tenses in his jaw. “Which one do you want?”

He raises the two drinks in his hands, one’s holding a clear plastic cup with dark liquid chilled over ice, and in the other he has a large paper cup, presumably the same dark liquid but hot. It’s a harsh reminder that you’re being snappy with the wrong person. No matter how irritable you were, he didn’t deserve the back end of it. All he did was give to you, even now when you keep being rude to him.

“Tae, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay.”

“No, I’m sorry. I just got upset because… I’m not ready to talk to Jungkook and I don’t want him knowing where I am.”

“If you’re worried he’s gonna pop up on you, I don’t think it’s like that. He seemed really worried and I think he wanted to know you’re safe.”

Yeah, you think, that’s exactly what he said.

You finally take the hot coffee from his hand, finding a way to divert the conversation away from Jungkook.

“Thank you for this.”

“Of course. I have to leave soon. I’m shooting this guy for his acting portfolio. Then my friend is working a fashion shoot afterwards and invited me to help so I’m not sure when I’ll be done. I wanted to give you this.” With his free hand he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a shiny gold key. “Just got it copied.”

He smiles widely, giggling as you hesitantly take the key into your own hand. You don’t know why he’s gushing about this but it has butterflies floating in your stomach.

“Is this to your apartment?”

“Where else? I mean- this isn’t me asking you to be my roommate but... I wanted you to have somewhere to go even if I’m not home.”

“Tae! You didn’t need to go copy a whole key I- I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

-----

Taehyung’s apartment is empty when you get there after work, and while it’s not surprising because he did say he had work you still feel disappointed. Leaving work you were eager to get some alone time, but not like this.

All your coworkers actually showed up today, and being that it was the day after New Year’s, everyone wanted to talk about how great their New Year went. The universe was making a mock out of you, you were sure of it. A few of the girls priorly knew about your plans with Jungkook and had hopeful heart eyes as they asked about the cruise, and while the actual night was fine, yesterday was not something you even wanted to think about.

You’d always find a way out, excusing yourself to go make copies or apologizing because “I really need to finish writing this report.” Your sweet coworkers, they understood. Saying, “Right, I need to respond to a few emails” before running back to their own cubicles and leaving you alone. That is until a new question popped in their mind that’d have them strolling back over.

You were the only woman in your office with a standing long-term relationship, they all loved to live vicariously through you while struggling with their own love lives. You knew you’d break their hearts when you’d finally have to tell them the truth. At least for today, you omitted that bit of the story. Not only for their sake, but also for yours. It’s embarrassing to say the least.

You’re not sure yet what it says about you to be someone who got cheated on. Will people wonder what you did to push him that far? Will they pity you? Will they figure you must be a bad girlfriend and did something wrong?

Did you do something wrong?

Making your way to the kitchen you decide to scavenge Taehyung’s fridge for something to eat. Your stomach started grumbling a few hours ago after you made the silly choice of skipping lunch. Looking back, you’re not sure why you did because the persistent headache you’ve had since morning is likely due to the fact that you haven’t ate anything. Unfortunately for you and your pain his fridge is empty of anything edible, only stocked with a carton of milk, a pack of bottled water and a single bottle of wine.

“How do men survive like this?” You mutter, deciding to at least continue to hydrate your organs if you couldn’t feed them. You slump onto a chair at his small dining table thinking, Jungkook’s fridge would also look like that if it weren’t for me.

Across from you, his shiny macbook seems to wave hello, and beyond that you notice his camera bag is on the chair. If his camera is here then he can’t be at a photo shoot right now. Unless his friend told him not to bring it, then again why would you tell a photographer not to bring their camera? It’s possible he’s already been home, but you haven’t a clue where he’d be now.

The laptop shimmers in the light, begging for your attention once more, quietly reminding you about the interesting contents it holds.

“I know.” You grumble aloud. More to yourself because you are aware it’s an inanimate object that can’t actually communicate and it’s your own conscious taunting you. Yes, the pictures, I know.

The tempting voice asks if you’re even a little bit curious, if there’s a small part of you that wants to know what Taehyung saw in Jungkook that night? How he knew it before you, how he knows when he doesn’t even really know. It’s in the pictures like he’d said, and you could easily pass your fingertips over the smooth surface, you could open the lid, you could see for yourself.

But wouldn’t that be an invasion of privacy? Snooping through his laptop while he’s not even here just to see the way Jungkook interacts with some girl feels selfish and wrong. He probably has a lock on there anyway.

Oh but dear, the laptop says, he wanted you to see them after all! You could look through his camera, they might still be there. Taehyung wouldn’t mind at all! You should check!

It’s tempting, you think back, but I don’t know…

Don’t you wanna see the face of the woman who he found room in his heart for?

The words are way too personal, a blatant throw back of Jungkook’s confession. Another reminder that you definitely aren’t talking to a laptop and this is just conflicting dialogue in your own head.

Maybe there is a part of you that wants to know. It’ll probably hurt but you won’t stop wondering if you never look. Even just once.

You move from one seat to the other, placing his bag onto the table carefully. You’re gentle as you pull the Canon from it’s compartment, the weight of it shifting into both palms reminds you that if you do anything wrong your friend just might kill you because this baby costs (literal) thousands.

Thankfully, as the camera comes to life his, presumably, last photo taken appears on the small square screen which means you don’t have to press a million buttons just to find what you’re looking for. You scroll through the first photos, dozens of group shots of people wearing different hot pink garments, wondering briefly what the photo shoot was for. Eventually you land on close up photos of a younger guy, the head shots for Taehyung’s friend, you’re close. Until finally, there’s a photo of an older man and woman holding two thumbs up, the festive backdrop giving away they’re at a holiday party.

This is it.

You take a moment before continuing to scroll, preparing yourself mentally because you aren’t sure when you will finally land on a picture of the two in search, but you will reach them and when you do, you must contain your emotions.

It’s fine, it’ll be fine.

Moving on, you’re slower this time, carefully scanning each passing photo to be sure not to miss Jungkook. The first few ones, or rather last several, are group shots with the same old man as before, until they become more candid.

The first time you spot him, he’s in the background giving some guy a hug.

There’s another photo of him at a table, not alone, but not speaking to anyone. He’s completely unaware that he’s being captured in the background which makes his oblivious doe-like daze a little adorable. He’s so cute, you think. Also oblivious to the smile that’s perked on your lips.

That is until you skip to the next photo and noticeably feel it drop when you finally see her. Somehow, you just know. There’s a second woman in the photo who seems to be talking with her hands, Lia’s smiling and making eye contact, but Jungkook’s eyes are on Lia.

You pass it, moving onto something else. There’s another. This time, they’re the focus of the photo, sitting at a table with another you haven’t met, all engaged in laughter.

You skip a few more, until the next one with them is again in the background. He’s smirking but you can’t see her face because she’s sat at an angle and her hair’s in the way.

The next photo is captured from behind, but you know it’s them because of her red dress and the fact you can recognize Jungkook from any angle by now. One arm around his shoulder and her head leaning into him, what warranted her to come this close?

You pass many, many more photos until you see them again. A posed picture, with the same guy from the laughing one, and like this you can really get a good look at her. You’re not too prideful to admit that she is beautiful and she holds an enticing look in her eyes. Maybe that’s her special feature, but other than that what’s special about her? Past the pretty face and perfect smile, what separates her from you? What was there under her surface? How’d she win over Jungkook?

The next pictures you go through are mostly boring, just photos of everyone at the party eating and conversing. But there’s one common factor in all of them with Lia and Jungkook, he was always looking at her. Most of the time smiling while he did so. And most of that time, she was looking at him too.

There’s something obvious there, that maybe Taehyung also saw, they have a connection. That, even if you hadn’t known him, you would think they had something going on too with all the ridiculous googly eyes. But with that, because you know him, there’s something else you see- That he is absolutely fascinated by her, drawn to her, intrigued. Whatever special thing she possessed, he’s latched onto it and it’s pulled him away from you.

Tears begin to well and you have to set the camera down to wipe them away harshly. It’s annoying, this marks the third time today, and if you let yourself cry now it’ll only worsen your headache into a migraine. You don’t want to cry over him, he doesn’t deserve it. Crying means you care and well, obviously you care. You love him, but he doesn’t deserve that either. Why should you still love him after what he’s done to you?

It’s useless to keep rubbing your eyes, your knuckles pointlessly tug the skin just for them to become wet again. You didn’t want to cry but your body was intent on releasing it’s frustration.

It’s not fair that after so much time together this other person just gets to come in and move his heart- quite literally, like he said, making room inside of it. It’s not fair that just two months ago he said to you he couldn’t see himself with anybody else just to fall for another girl who knows how long after. Maybe it’d happened before he even said it. The fact that he was willing to explore how he felt about her should’ve been a dead giveaway that he was in denial at the time. Maybe you were too.

Could it be that she’s the reason your relationship spiraled in the first place? After he started work that’s when the distance between you two started to extend. There were a lot of other things you thought it could be. You thought he was depressed over the new job, closed off from you because he was closed off to the world. And at the time, you tried your best to be the optimistic one.  You tried to lift his spirits and be encouraging but maybe it wasn’t enough. Where did you go wrong? Where did you fail at making him happy?

Why weren’t you enough?

You desperately want to know what it is about her- what is it that Lia has and you don’t?

Is it all because he felt you weren’t reciprocating his efforts to fix things? Maybe you didn’t try hard enough. You should’ve done more- you should’ve been more affectionate and caring. You should’ve loved him better.

You flinch at the soft thud of the door closing, jumping out of your seat because it’s startled you. It’s just Taehyung, standing there silently with a harsh expression of worry.

“You were crying.” He says plainly, a hint of guilt in his tone.

“No.” You lie, wiping your face once more and forcing a laugh.

He shakes his head as he makes his way to you, setting a white to-go box on the table before standing in front of you.

“You think I’m stupid? Your eyes are red.” His voice is unnecessarily gentle as he cups your face in both hands, thumbs wiping away left over traces of tears. The sound of his voice alone makes your entire chest warm- you hate it. “Also, I saw you.”

“I’m fine.” You push his hands away because his affections are way too much for your weakened heart to handle. He seems displeased. “What’d you get?”

He glances at the table and then back to you. The pierce of his brown eyes makes your lungs constrict, even his gaze is difficult to hold.

“Fried chicken. You saw the pictures?”

“O- y-yea…” You force yourself to look away- if you breathe properly maybe you can talk without sounding like a moron. “I’m really sorry for going through your things I just got curious and I shouldn’t have but that’s-”

“It’s okay, Y/n.” He assures you, “Are you okay?”

Your mouth forms to say yes and he already knows the lie to come, fixing his question before you can.

“I mean you’re not okay. I’m asking if you wanna talk about it.”

“It’s okay.” There were too many layers to uncover, between your emotions and the pictures and your anniversary and what really happened at that party, “It’s a lot.”

He shrugs at your words like they don’t matter, “I’ve got some time. And I’ve got food.”

“Tae-”

“Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I’m just confused. But I don’t want to ramble and get upset.”

“Why are you confused?”

“I just… I don’t understand Jungkook. I don’t understand why he likes that girl. I don’t understand why I wasn’t good enough.  I don’t understand why he was so good to me if there was someone else, even after what happened, all the way until I found that he fucking let her-” You stop there, unsure what words to use to explain what happened other than the disgusting frank description that was there in your mind. Your stomach was already churning, you couldn’t say it.

“He let her…?”

“They… you know…” You vaguely wave your hands between your bodies, back and forth from the direction of your mouth to his crotch, hoping he caught on to the innuendo and wouldn’t force you to be explicit. He’d already successfully tricked in you into saying more than you originally wanted to.

“Ahh, wow um…” Surprised, he understands, but uncertain with himself if that’s really what you meant. If only he knew just how bad it gets.

“Yes, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Alright, alright.” He holds his hands up defensively, letting the topic go at once.

At some point over the last few months he’d stopped being passive and tried harder to pry information out of you when you were being closed off. Not too forcefully, but it was silently appreciated. You’d become grateful for his willingness to listen to whatever was weighing on your mind no matter the topic, it was always followed with thoughtful responses and advice. Now though, it’s a bit more frustrating. Something about this was different. This was not something that was easy to open up about and you wished he would say OK and let it be.

You know there’s an elephant in the room and at some point the healthy thing to do will be talking about it and having that conversation with him, your closest friend, but today wasn’t it.

He makes his way to the farthest side of the table, “Well, I’ll have to eat dinner with you quickly because I have to go check on a tenant downstairs. Their heater isn’t working and as you can imagine in the middle of winter they aren’t happy about it.”

“If you have business to take care of it’s fine. I need to go back to my apartment anyway to grab some things before Jungkook gets home and then find a hotel somewhere.”

“You’re being ridiculous, you don’t need a hotel. And you should at least eat first.”

“It’s okay, I’m not hungry.” Your prolonged headache would beg to differ but you didn’t have much of an appetite anymore. You’re not sure how to respond to his first remark because it’s obvious you don’t have anywhere else to stay. You’d stay here, but only if he offered. You weren’t going to ask since you had no plan and it’d be quite the favor to ask someone to crash at their place for an indefinite period of time. “Ah, also, I don’t have my key… would you mind helping me get in?”

“Not at all.” A moment of silence drags on for a minute too long as he stares at you sadly, worrying his bottom lip, until he speaks up again. “You sure you don’t want to eat something?”

“I’m sure.”

With that, he heads over to the cabinet below the kitchen sink and pulls out of a bulky rectangular safe. Upon unlocking it there’s nearly a hundred keys organized on rows of hooks- a key to every room in the entire complex. He plucks yours straight from the center and then begins to count towards the bottom before he pulls another one.

After locking everything back up and putting it in it’s discreet place he places the keys in your hands silently. One reads 503, the other 705.

“What is this?”

“There’s a furnished room on the top floor. It’s clean, it’s got running water and it’s all yours.”

“Huh?”

“We only use it for tours because it has extra square footage compared to the other one bedrooms- don’t tell anybody that. Also, please do not lose these because if Mr.Lee finds out I’m doing this-”

“I understand!” You sputter, gripping the cold metal tightly. “Thank you, Taehyung.”

He beams at you, “It’s no problem. You still have a key here so don’t feel like you’re not welcome to visit.”

To visit, right, not to stay.

You weren’t going to ask him, no, but you do feel disappointed that he hadn’t offered. And maybe that’s selfish of you to think considering he’s risking his job just to offer you a private place of comfort and here you are wondering why you can’t stay with him.

You can’t help but feel this is his subtle way of getting rid of you, which is fair, your moodiness is probably annoying. Still, he’s being nothing but kind and going out of his way for you, and yet for some reason it’s all making you sad.

-----

It’s been exactly 10 days since you’ve seen Jungkook, which is impressive considering you both return home to the same complex every day and have yet to cross paths. For the first time ever you were thankful for the difference in your schedules, by now assuming that he was likely back to his usual 10 AM to 6 PM shift and that’s why you two hadn’t. But, you’d be a liar if you said you didn’t wish to see him every day.

There were countless times you had to stop yourself from calling him, thinking I just want to see how he’s doing. In the morning, on the way to work, in the evening, on the train, at night- especially at night, especially when you had to lay in bed alone. Other times you instinctively pressed for 5 on the elevator, only remembering you were on the wrong level when the doors opened to familiarity, you would consider for a moment getting off and just going back home, but deep down you knew better than to make that mistake. Your self control was also impressive.

In your own defense, your moments of weakness were absolutely valid, you two had been inseparable since that first day of sophomore year over three years ago, you never went more than two days without seeing each other. Well, that’s not entirely true. There was the winter break before you started dating, and his family’s week long vacation two summers ago, but you still talked every day so it’s not the same.

This last year in particular your lives were built around each other- you freaking moved in together. Every day for a year you woke up and he was there, you went to sleep and he was there, right next to you. Even your body knew that something was missing as it tossed and turned at night, falling asleep had become difficult. Unless you cried, but you tried to minimize that to every other day.

The spacious apartment did not help your loneliness either, you tried to find comfort and treat it like a get away, but really it was unfamiliar and lacked personal touch. You didn’t even feel like a guest in someone else’s home, the space felt outside of reality, outside of your norm.

The only time things didn’t feel so odd were when you were with Taehyung. In his space he provided the consistent comfort you craved. The only problem was that the past week just so happened to be a week he was packed with gig after gig after gig. He’d been very busy with his photography and while he did his best to call you throughout the days and make sure you were simply surviving, the physical time you spent together had dwindled down significantly. Another hard pill to swallow since you’d gotten used to seeing him every day too.

Your loneliness was becoming suffocating.

Thankfully tonight some of the girls from your job made dinner plans that you were included in, which turned into an impromptu trip to a nearby karaoke bar afterwards. It was a nice break away from your usual routine to go out and spend time with friends rather than sitting inside alone on a Friday night. It was also the most you’d laughed all week.

Your plan for when you got back to the apartment complex was to go straight inside, change out of your work clothes, quickly go through your bedtime routine before your mind had a chance to start wandering through every reason you had to be sad, and go to sleep. That all becomes impossible the second you step into 705 and are welcomed by it’s freezing cold draft, it feels like you’ve just stepped back outside into the winter night.

The thermostat claims the heat is on, set to 70 degrees, but the current indoor temperature reads as 42 degrees fahrenheit.

“Jesus Christ, not me.” You groan at the ceiling, letting your bag thump to the ground before bending over to fish for your cell phone.

To: Tae [9:42 PM]

Please tell me you’re home :(

You hold the phone in your hand for a few minutes, waiting for his message to pop up on the screen but his reply is not immediate. You begin to worry because he’s typically a quick responder as long as he’s not working, and though it’s late maybe he was still at a shoot, or he also decided to go out tonight. Either way, you’d have to figure out what to do because there was no way you could sleep in this place tonight.

From: Tae [9:47 PM]

I’m here

Sorry about that I was making tea

what’s up angel?

A-Angel?

You’re not sure that he’s ever called you that before and don’t know where it’s come from and your face may be heating up at the pet name but there’s more important matters at hand.

To: Tae [9:48 PM]

Uhh hate to bother you but… I think the heaters broken

 From: Tae [9:48 PM]

Nooo You’re the third person this week :(

From: Tae [9:49 PM]

I’m sorry, do you wanna sleep here?

Do you even have to ask?

---

When you arrive downstairs moments later he welcomes you in with a tight hug, as if it’s been months since he’s seen you but it’s only been three days. Regardless, the affection is much needed as you’ve been deprived of all physical forms, you feel yourself wanting to reach back out as he pulls away.

“I still have hot water, do you want me to make you some tea?”

“Hm, I’m okay, but thank you.” You were still fairly stuffed from dinner and the several virgin margaritas you enjoyed during karaoke.

Leaving your bags in the living room, you follow his path into the kitchen. Sure enough, there’s a kettle on the counter next to a small box and mug, he moves quickly to clean up the small mess and put things back into their place.

“Well since you’re here, do you want to watch a movie or anything? I think there’s a new episode of that weird sci-fi show you like.”

“First of all if you’re talking about Black Mirror, it’s not weird, but yes there’s a new interactive movie.”

He glances back to roll his eyes at you before dusting scraps into the trash bin. “You made me watch an episode where they trapped someone’s consciousness into a teddy bear… it’s a little weird.”

“There was so much to take away from that episode and that’s still all you talk about!”

When season four had first come out, you and Jungkook nearly finished it within a week, but life got in the way and you never got a chance to finish. One day you decided to just complete the season without him and enjoy the finale with Taehyung who’d never seen the show. You thought it’d be fun, thinking he’d provide insightful commentary, instead, he couldn’t get passed how cruel it was a character couldn’t express sadness beyond “Monkey needs a hug.”

“Would you rather talk about the guy who literally got off on murdering someone?”

“He-- no, please.”

He’s smiling as he walks back over to you and you can’t help but giggle because okay it is kind of weird and maybe you should’ve chosen a different episode to introduce him to but it was still really good!

“I’ll let you show me another episode, preferably one less dark.”

For whatever reason, he pulls your head against his chest to rest his own atop yours and wraps you back into his warmth. This time your heart immediately starts to race, nervous about the random affection, though your arms don’t hesitate to wrap around him either.

“It’s okay, I actually just wanna go to sleep.”

“Oh… okay...” He holds you tighter, sounding a bit disappointed.

You squeeze him back, a way of silently apologizing. You expect him to pull away then, but he doesn't, and neither do you because even with a jumping heart being like this was too comfortable. He was always so warm, and so cuddly, and his clothes always smelled like lavender. Which would confuse your brain at first when you’d get a whiff of him, the light fragrance so contrasting to that of your favorite- a warm blend of citrus notes and amber on Jungkook- but you also adored whatever floral fabric softener Taehyung used because you found it calming. In fact, you could stand here forever because the combination of all he had to offer was that relaxing. So relaxing that you can’t help but ask-

“Tae…” You release your hold so that you can step back and look at him but he doesn’t let you go, only slides his hands to the lower part of your back providing enough space for eye contact, responding with a yes? “Can I… sleep in your bed tonight?”

“I guess so? I don’t mind taking the couch.”

“No, I mean, with you.”

“Uh-” You catch the way his eyebrows almost raise with widening eyes before he can stop the reaction. You worry about the implications of your words.

“Unless it’s weird. Is that weird? I’m sorry.”

“No!” His hands abruptly fall away, swiping at the back of high thighs as he creates room between you two. “Not at all, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m- it’s just hard sleeping alone, you know?”

“Y-yeah, it’s alright.”

Not long afterwards, after you both had changed and freshened up, you found yourself sitting up in Taehyung’s bed with your back against the wall. It seems silly to you now that you’ve never slept together let alone even stepped foot in his bedroom. But before all this, things were different, and even though you’re only friends it definitely would’ve been inappropriate taking all things into consideration- Taehyung’s feelings, your relationship, maybe even your fleeting non-platonic thoughts about him.

Now, you don’t question it too much, it’s not inappropriate or weird. You’re the only one making it a little weird because you keep thinking about the fact that Taehyung still likes you, or at least you assume so, and that he could use this opportunity to make a move on you. Deep down you know he would never, he’s too respectable for that. Maybe you’d let him- ONLY because you’re vulnerable! He knows that. Which is why he shouldn’t, he’d be taking advantage of that. He won’t, but you still wonder if he will. Even as he rambles on about the earl grey tea his mom bought from Europe, a small yet very expensive Christmas present. There’s a reason why this French tea company is so special, but you wouldn’t know because see, you’re being weird.

How Jungkook would feel about all of this? What’s he up to anyway?

“Y/N? Are you listening to me?”

You’re startled by the sound of your name, but you nod furiously. “Of course, Tae. You were saying your mom and… amazing French company, great story!”

He shakes his head disapprovingly, “That’s how I know you weren’t paying attention. My mom bought the tea in France but it’s a Singaporean company!”

“Oh, see! I was close! I just missed that one little tidbit.”

He squints his eyes at you, knowing you’re telling a tale. Letting out an exaggerated sigh he rotates on his side to face you and props his elbow to rest his head in his palm. “Alright, what’s wrong? Spill the tea. No pun intended.”

“I know you’ll think I’m an idiot but I’m gonna say it. I miss Jungkook.”

“No I won’t!” He sits up fully in bed, seeing that the thoughts that plague you are deeper than he anticipated. He mirrors your image, crossing his legs before reaching to hold both your hands. “First of all you’re not an idiot and I would never think so little of you. It’s okay if you miss Jungkook, it’s expected. You don’t just forget about someone you love overnight or even within a week.”

Was that true, though?

“Why not? He did.”

Whether in the blink of an eye or months before you realized, he’d forgotten about you, forgotten what you meant to him, forgotten what you two had. Or is it that he didn’t love you anymore and that’s what made you so easy to forget?

“Didn’t I already tell you he’s a dumbass?” He grins, but you can’t find it in you to laugh, the insult doesn’t even make you feel the slightest bit better.

He sighs, rubbing his thumbs over the back of your hands. “Can I ask you something?”

You nod.

“Do you want to save your relationship?”

Your hands pull away, not because of him, but almost as if to brace yourself for the weight of reality as you press them into the bed on either side of you. You hadn’t really thought about that, your thought process never got that far. Would Jungkook even want that?

“I don’t know that it's possible. Jungkook told me he likes Lia, and if that’s true, then it’s serious. He isn’t easily swayed by pretty faces.”

Taehyung snorts, “Who said anything about her being pretty?”

Your arch a brow at him, unsure if he’s trying to insinuate something. “Well I saw her, she is pretty but… that’s just it, that's not the point. He actually needs to get to know someone if he’s gonna pursue them. I told you before how in college there were so many girls interested in him and he didn't like any of them. Not even me. Not until he knew me.”

“And now he likes her…”

“Exactly.”

“But that’s not what I asked. Put him aside for a moment and stop thinking about what he feels. What is it that you want?” He asks, pressing a finger into your knee.

What I want? That is still a lot to consider. A lot that you haven’t gone over. You’ve only focused on the current distance between the two of you, and keeping it that way until you felt strong enough to face him. You’ve only gone through past memories, you hadn’t thought of what the future held nor what you wanted it to.

“I don’t know, Tae. It sounds ridiculous but I can’t envision my life without him. The idea of going back to him feels daunting because I don’t know how to forgive him for what he did or how to trust him after this. Or even, how I could allow myself to love him. I don’t have answers but it’s like if I don’t then what? Where do I go and who do I become?”

“You don’t become anyone, if not just a better version of yourself. You don’t need him to have a complete identity.”

“That’s easy for you to say-”

“I know it’s easy for me to say,” His rebuttal is sharp, almost defensive. “No I didn’t just spend the last three years of my life with someone just for them to shit all over our history, but I’m right. You were somebody long before you even met him and you will still be somebody without him, if you choose to let him go.”

“I know that, but it’s not just easy for me to say, okay, bye Jungkook, and go on and be content with being alone.”

“You think you’d be alone?”

“Well, yes?”

It all circles back to what you first said, you can’t envision life without him. Even if you try, there’s nothing there, you, but nothing more. Maybe that should be enough, but that blank image in your mind feels empty, life would be lackluster and dull, something would always be missing.

“That’s not true.” He looks down for a moment, finding a loose string on his comforter to tug on. “You have me.”

At that, and as his eyes finds yours, the air in the room starts to thicken. The statement feels too direct. You know he means that as a reminder of his loyal friendship, you know it’s his way of saying hey I’m here, but it feels like something more.

“As long as I’m alive, you’ll always have me.”

“Hm, like forever.” Your own gaze slips away this time, unable to stop yourself from chuckling at the boundless promise of his words. An older version of you may have believed him, a version of you that believes love is timeless, the version of you with a committed boyfriend. You want to believe him because Taehyung is honest, he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it. But words like this have been spoken truthfully to you before and look where it’s brought you.

“Jungkook and I are not the same.” It’s almost embarrassing how well Taehyung knows you, how spot on he is about what you’re thinking. “There was a point in time Jungkook couldn’t even see you, he didn’t see you then and he doesn’t see you now. Me?” He stops himself, you can tell by his tone that he knows he’s crossing a line again, about to walk past usual boundaries, about to say something he couldn’t have said before today, but he says it anyway. “The way I’ve felt about you has never changed. Every day I still feel what I felt the day I first met you… Even when you’ve confused me, even when you’ve cursed me, even when you’ve pushed me away, even when you defined the line in the sand and made it clear we could never be more than friends, even when you don’t see me… I feel it. So yes, like forever.”

You’re too afraid to look at him because you think you might crack the way you once had months ago, when a flood of emotion for him overtook you, when you considered giving into him.

“And I’m not asking you to- I’m not saying anything other than I’ve come with you this far and… whatever you do, nothing's gonna change.”

You have no words for him, nothing coherent, at least for now. You nearly throw yourself at him, sprouting up from your position on the left side of the bed to wrap your arms around his neck. He reacts quickly, thankfully, because as he falls sideways onto the mattress with a huff you realize you could’ve sent him tumbling backwards to the floor which would’ve been bad for the both of you.

You feel the soft laughter rumble beneath his chest as he tightens his hold around you, “Thank you?”

You’re overwhelmed with both gratitude and frustration, so much so that you think you could cry. How did you get so damn lucky to have this man in your life? It wasn’t fair. Logically, and karmically, it was not fair. Even as he said and listed reasons he’s had to pull back, to change his mind, to drop you, he hasn’t. He genuinely loves and supports you unconditionally and you don’t know how the hell that happened or why but there’s one thing you are certain of.

You are more than lucky, you are blessed to have Taehyung. And you hope that this friendship is eternal because you can’t imagine having to lose him too.

----

“Do you remember the first time we ate here?”

“Of course I do.”

You’d spent the first half of your Saturday lounging in bed, or rather Taehyung’s bed, all by yourself because he’d had an early morning shoot for… something you don’t remember because you were half asleep when he’d said. You’d stayed that way for a while, grumpily, because you were starving and too lazy to go out and eat and too stubborn to order delivery. By lunch time when your hunger hit peak aggravation you sent him a very aggressive text message in all caps to PLEASE BUY SOME FUCKING GROCERIES YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE BREAD. He promptly responded with a slew of laughing emojis, then letting you know he was already ten minutes away and to meet him downstairs.

He’d taken you the short walk to the taco truck around the corner, the very first place you hung out, a very telling choice after what he said last night.

“You never did thank me for showing you the best taco place in town.” He flicks at his bangs dramatically, turning a shoulder to you in faux offense.

“That’s because it’s not. I mean, it’s good but my favorite is this restaurant up north.”

“Why have you never taken me then?”

“They closed down last summer.”

“Must not have been too good.” He looks at you pointedly, flicking at his silky strands once more. You raise a fist, pretending like you might hit him, though you’re laughing at his obnoxiousness.

“I promise, you would’ve loved it.”

Just then, a lady pokes her head out from the wide window, calling your name for your order. Taehyung is first to run over and grab the small bag, though you take it back from him, offering to carry it on the walk back.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What was your first impression of me?”

“Oh…” His question comes as a surprise, but you don’t think much of it, reflecting back to the day last spring. The very first time you met. “I thought you were very polite.”

“What about the first time we ate back there?”

“Well,” That question takes a little bit more digging. You have to remember the things you talked about that night, how you felt, how he seemed. “You seemed so… so… normal. Like, before that, I guess I kind of put you on a pedestal, I don’t know. You just seemed so composed and confident and like you had everything together but then we talked and you opened up to me and it was like ah, we’re not so different. It was refreshing.”

You look over to him and smile, he smiles, but he keeps his gaze towards to concrete as you continue up the block.

“Why do you ask? What was your first impression of me?”

“That you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.”

You instantly stop in your tracks, it takes him a second to register but when he does the balls of his feet scratch against the gravel as he turns around.

“Stop it.” You say, squinting your eyes suspiciously at him because why is he trying to flirt and joke around right now it’s making me blush! “Tell me.”

“That’s it?” Even his eyes frown at you, confused why you won’t accept his answer.

You roll your eyes and push past him, taking a right at the corner as you continued ahead. His legs are long so it doesn’t take anything of him to catch up, and he asks why you don’t believe him.

“I thought you were attractive but I gave you a better answer than that.”

“Wait-” He takes a few skips to jump in front of you, forcing you to come to another stop as he blocks the way. “You thought I was attractive?”

“What? I said you were handsome.”

“No, you said attractive.” He says, wiggling his eyebrows.

Oh my God, did I?

“I- it doesn’t matter, it’s basically the same thing.”

You step right, he steps left, you step left, he steps right, refusing to let you go around while he dons a ridiculous smirk that you try really hard not to look at.

“What!”

“Don’t you wanna know my first impression?”

“...yes.”

“Don’t judge me.” He points a finger at you, waiting on your nod before he continues, tucking his hand back into his coat pocket. “When we were standing in the elevator together, my heart was beating so fast because I was so nervous, but I thought you were mean! You kept giving me short answers and you glared at me when I was just trying to be helpful!”

“Come on, you asked me where I lived, give me a break.”

He giggles, “I was just nervous and talking out of order. But then you relaxed after I told you who I was, and you even laughed at something I said and…”

“And…?”

“I felt really warm. My heart, my insides,” One hand moves from the left side of his chest then down to his abdomen. You can see that he hesitates, biting on the corner of his lip nervously, but he looks back to you and sees the harsh expression on your face. “It’s stupid.” He forces a laugh and continues to walk home. You’re only about 10 yards away, the front entrance is visible not far beyond him.

He’s misread your reaction, misunderstood your furrowed expression. You weren’t frowning at him because of judgement or because you thought it was stupid, you were frowning out of pure confusion because he’d described the same feeling he’s given to you.

And it was so simple, such a simple feeling, a simple word. But, warm, yes, you understood. You felt it too that very first day, you felt it the first time you hung out. You feel it when he looks at you, when he talks, when he hugs you, just being next to him in itself was like sitting by a fire. You were never sure what it was or what it meant, you never looked too much into it, but if the sentiment was mutual shouldn’t you tell him you feel it too?

You run ahead to catch up, he’s still standing outside the door, presumably waiting for you to go inside.

Taehyung had said before that you always know what to say, but you disagree. Maybe when it comes to uplifting others kind words come naturally, but you aren’t good with words themself, at least not when it comes to sharing and expressing your emotions.

That is precisely why you cup his face into your hands as he turns to you, unbothered by the tacos that get smushed somewhere between your arm and his chest, raising onto the balls of your feet and pulling him down the distance you couldn’t close to press your lips into his.

You’re not entirely sure why you’re kissing Taehyung, or rather you can’t explain why. It’s impulsive but it feels right as that familiar feeling overtakes your entire chest, replacing the vacant ache you’d grown accustomed to over the last week and a half and overwhelming you with so much desire for more. And at first, he gives in to you. His gentle hands find your hips, head turning as his mouth opens in sync with yours to deepen the kiss.

In that moment you place words on the purpose. Kissing him said way more than your grateful hugs ever could, and that was all you’d done before. But this wasn’t even about saying thank you, this was about admitting that maybe you felt the exact same way. This was easier than facing the fact that there really was no reason to keep suppressing your emotions. But then he abruptly pulls away, eyes wide as he sounds frightened when he says your name.

Your heart sinks because he’s looking at you like you’ve just done something you should not have done. Heat creeps up over your ears, this time because you’re actually uncomfortable, completely embarrassed because maybe you just made a mistake.

Your open your mouth to say something but nothing comes out, stuck on shock, you don’t know how to even begin saying sorry.

“Jungkook is inside.”

Wait… what?

If you couldn’t speak before, you definitely couldn’t now as all the air escapes your lungs, frozen and unable to breathe. You want to believe that you heard him wrong, or that he didn’t even say Jungkook’s name. But you’re too terrified to even look and confirm. You still aren’t ready, you don’t know what feelings will come up just by seeing him. Worst of all, you don’t know if Jungkook just watched you kiss Taehyung and you cringe at the thought.

You look right, and sure enough, on the other side of the clear glass Jungkook stands there just feet away looking right at you. The way your heart picks up speed is almost painful, you can tell by the disgruntled look on his face he’s seen everything.

TBC

[theuniversitychallengereview]

UC 49.7-49.10

Every so often I manifest an incoherent plan to stop watching YouTube, borne out of some inchoate idea to do with productivity, but then I’ll watch a video so mundanely profound and inspiring that gives me more of a creative boost than any amount of time I would save by not watching 20-minute explainers on Game of Thrones lore. On this occasion that video was this, on the toolbox fallacy.

Simply, as the Passion of the Nerd puts it in his video, its the idea that one can’t do (x), until one has (y) - or, the lie one tells oneself in order to put off doing something, whatever that something may be. In my case, as is so often the case, the (y) is time. I haven’t written a blog for early two months, and in that period I told myself repeatedly that I was just waiting for that big long stretch of time where I could sit down and get everything done at once. 

But that never happens, and the longer you go without starting, the bigger the pile gets, so eventually it becomes impossible to get through everything at once without a parcel of time so monstrously huge it is terrifiyng in its own right. 

And thats where the fallacy comes in - you don’t need everything to be perfect in order to get started, and once you’ve started, you don’t need everything to go perfectly either. You just need to start. So lets get started.

Episode 7 - Jesus, Oxford vs Manchester

I live in Manchester now (aside: before I got my job here I applied for a PhD at ManUni with a guy called Dr Kiss, a sliding doors moment which could have resulted in my failing to qualify for a University Challenge team for a record eight times in a row, assuming it was a three year doctorate), which should make them my second team, but to be honest they’ve probably held that title for a while anyway. Like Michael Schumacher in his glory days, or Roger Federer in his prime, the University of Manchester produced consistent levels of supreme performance in the Challenge between 2005 and 2014 that gained them many fans, myself included. 

They reached nine out of ten semi finals in that time, and brought the fight to the Oxbridge duopoly with four series victories. Jesus haven’t had anywhere near as much success in the Paxman Era, but won the penultimate Bamber series against Imperial in 1986.

Manchester are mascotted by a bee, the buzzy symbol of the city; and Jesus are sponsored by a jumper? Thats what it looks like anyway, it might just be a bit of draping with the college logo on it. A lot of the Oxbridge teams do this, but there may as well be nothing there because its pretty half assed. 

Its the Jumpersquad who unravel the night’s first clue, with Cashman taking the ten points for the Cashmere Collective. Manchester equalised with the next Starter, and moved into the lead with a full set on the third. A delightful picture round on Premier League football team finishing positions followed, but Manchester could only manage one (I took the hat-trick, naturally). I always enjoy it when the setters put the sports questions into inventive UC formats.

The Mancunians would get into triple figures before Jesus could build on their opening points, but two Starters in a row got them out of the quagmire, and a third, the music round, brought them within thirty points again. However, they were helped out a little bit by Paxman allowing ‘They Must Be Giants’ in place of ‘They Might Be Giants’. I guess accuracy doesn’t matter as much when its merely pop culture.

This would prove the end of Oxford’s comeback though, as Manchester surged ahead with eighty five of the next hundred points to seal the victory with plenty of time to go. They must have known they had it in the bag as well, because at this point they sat back and let Jesus race for a high scoring loser spot, which they may well get.

Final Score: Jesus, Oxford 145 - 185 Manchester

Episode 8 - Durham vs Trinity, Cam

Durham reached the semi finals last series, the third time they have done so since they won their only title of the Paxman Era in 2000, having also claimed a Bamber Trophy in 1977. Trinity won under Jeremy’s stewardship in 1995 and 2014, along with a victory in 1974, making this a match-up between two of only three teams (the other being The Open University) to have won the Challenge in both of its iterations. 

Adding further weight to the not-so-mythical myth that Durham is a surrogate for Oxbridge, the Northern team have also got a jumper-y object as their mascot (at this point I have realised that there is a proper word for what those things are, but I’m in too deep with this jumper thing. Is it just a banner? A sigil?). I’m glad to see that Trinity have tried though, and are proudly displaying what looks to be a hand-knitted bear (possibly Sooty from Sooty and Sweep?).

Durham charged out of the blocks with four of the first five Starters and ten of their first twelve bonuses. Trinity would have to wake up soon if they didn’t want to get blown completely away. Fortunately they heard their alarm clock when it next went off and in the blink of an eye they were ahead. 

Wait, surely not... *checks notes* No, I was right first time round, following a 90-20 opening stint, Trinity went 80-0 to turn the game on its head. Now it was Durham’s turn to feel shell-shocked, but they took the next Starter and we were level again. A hundred each. The game was being played like rugby, with one team smashing forward until the momentum could be stopped, at which point the tide would flo the other way. Scintillating quizzing.

The turnovers started coming faster, with a frenetic back and forth developing. It was Trinity who finally managed to stamp their authority on proceedings, opening up a significant lead with only a few minutes remaining. Durham would need to work even quicker than in the early stages to add further topsy-turviness to this topsy-turvy match, but they couldn’t manage it. A brief spurt at the death may however be enough to drag them into the play-offs.

Final Score: Durham 145 - 200 Trinity, Cam

Episode 9 - LSE vs Courtauld Institute of Art

Like I said in the introduction, the longer you leave something before starting, the more difficult it is to start because of how much you’ll have to do once you start. Another issue with this blog in particular, is that the more you have to do at once, the more difficult it becomes to not just write the exact same things over and over again. If I do one per week then even if I do repeat myself word for word then I don’t realise because seven days if far too long to remember anything for, and ignorance is bliss etc. With a big batch like this one then it becomes painfully obvious how many times I use the word Starter, even if it is somewhat necessary.

Oh well, lets start with a recap of the two teams previous appearances... LSE made the final in 1996, losing a high-scoring match against local rivals Imperial. They made the semis two years later, and the quarters in 2009, meaning that they’ve been elimiated at every stage of the competition apart from the second round. For Courtauld, it would be a success to be knocked out at that stage, having lost their only two matches, in 2015 and 2018.

Courtauld took the first points of the evening with the amusing fact that the Nobel Peace Prize hasn’t been awarded on a number of occasions due to a lack of deserving recipients (could they do the same with the British Prime Minister?). LSE fumbled a science starter, leaving the board (in this case the circuit board which makes up the buzzers) wide open, but Courtauld can’t even guess, which amuses Paxman no end - “they don’t study a lot of that [at an art institute], do they?”.

They know Shakespeare though, and take the picture Starter on one of his ‘lost rhymes’. The match ambles on slowly, at a far more leisurely pace than last weeks (a good thing about this batching is that I can reference the previous games with the confidence that I’ll be understood), and its Courtauld who are ambling slightly faster than their London counterparts.

With a few minutes remaining, LSE decde to give it a go, with Engels cheekily waving Paxman on after another science Starter was left unanswered. I just spent about fifteen minutes trying to make a gif of this, but the websites kept crashing and the one I did make was only loading as a picture here. So if you can just imagine it that would be great.

Final Score: LSE 90 - 145 Courtauld

Episode 10 - Goldsmiths vs Southampton

Goldsmiths lost on their first Challenge appearance, and made it to the second round last year, the only other time they’ve made it to the televised rounds. If they continue their current trajectory they’ll make it to the quarter finals this time out, which is the furthest their first round opponents Southampton have made it in the Paxman Era, in 2014.

The Southampton mascot, a fluffy deer, has fallen off of the table between the middle players and has consequently gained some camoflague so you have to squint to figure out what it is. I don’t know if it was placed there on purpose, or if they simply didn’t notice that their mascot resembled that scene from Bambi. Goldsmiths have a teddy bear who is wearing graduation robes, indicating that they award degrees to cuddly toys - where will the liberal agenda take us next?

Paxman informs us that Goldsmith’s Sibley hails from the same Canadian town as human PA system Eric Monkman, and when he introduces himself you can detect a similar lilt to his accent, but without the sense that you’ve accidentally sat on the volume button. 

It is he who takes the first Starter of the evening, and indeed the second too - perhaps he does bear some more relation to his noisy neighbour. Goldsmiths took two more on the bounce to go 70 points clear. They were unlucky not to be further ahead, having guessed wrongly between both York and Leeds and Southampton and Portsmouth on the picture round (with no other clues its pretty hard to tell the difference between 20 miles on an unannotated map).

Maybe it was the mention of Southampton (and its misidentification) that woke the Southern side up, but they claimed their first points on the next Starter, along with two bonuses on the Lake District that I knew too, but only because I was literally in Windermere at the weekend.

Once they’d figured out that you need to buzz in and answer questions in order to win the game, Southampton were actually pretty good, and their confidence seemed to grow with every point they put on the board (in this case the circuit board which makes up the - hang on, I’ve already done this one, haven’t I? See, I told you this whole repeating malarkey was difficult), and they polish up two of three bonuses on haikus which describe chemical elements (I missed the explanation of the question format when I watched this the first time, so was astounded that they had even been discussing anything with any conviction. “Just doing your job holding plants together. No fireworks, no fuss”. I mean, what is that on about?)

In fact, just as Southampton remembered how to play, Goldsmiths forgot, and they only managed to shake themselves of this malaise twice more for the rest of the match, allowing Southampton to canter away, mostly unchallenged. 

Final Score: Goldsmiths 95 - 175 Southampton

Phew! That was a big one - well done if you made it all the way to the end. I still have two more to catch up on, but I haven’t even watched those episodes yet so I’ll just do them as regular posts, hopefully tomorrow. 

I’d also like to give a huge thanks to Tough Soles who are supporting me on Patreon! (sorry for falling so far behind - I’ll catch up soon)

[i-am-the-entertainer]

RevieWBY: Volume 6

This has been stated so many times, but Volume 5 was bad. Okay, it wasn’t terrible, like I don’t feel offended by it being bad (unlike certain folks), but looking back on it I don’t have anything to say to really defend it as something Rooster Teeth should have talked up as much as they did at the time. It had some good things going for it, but the amount of problems it had in terms of animation and writing really put a sour taste in everyone’s mouth. So for Volume 6 to deal with all that fallout, it was going to have to do a lot. And to their credit, CRWBY accepted the criticism in stride, and actively worked to make Volume 6 something that people who despised Volume 5 might enjoy.

Still, one had to go into this season with the understanding that some people were never going to be completely satisfied with whatever CRWBY did. Because at the end of the day, the RWBY that Rooster Teeth currently makes is not Monty Oum’s show anymore. No, this isn’t saying CRWBY is in any way disrespecting his legacy, it’s just Monty Oum had a certain method to running the show that only he could really get away with: epic fight scenes, suddenly throwing giant curveballs into the series’ mythology, taking vital time away from storytelling so the fights looked cool. I mean, there are people who criticize the show for doing that now when they didn’t give two shits when Monty did it, because Monty did it in a manner that somehow worked. I don’t know how he did it, but he did, and, well, he’s not here to do it, and there’s no way even a huge animation team can collectively do things like him. And they shouldn’t: if they can use a better industry standard animation engine than Poser, than the fact that Monty Oum didn’t like animating with Maya shouldn’t stop them.

Blah blah blah...this is all about FNDM reception. What did I think of Volume 6?

Well...

Focus

In my mid-volume review I cited this as Volume 6′s strongest aspect, and as far as I can tell this remains the case. By focusing our hero storyline on one group and for the most part the villain storylines on only a few characters who were paired off, Volume 6 effectively told a story that didn’t force the viewers to juggle multiple things and find some semblance of a continuing story. Everything happened linearly and the whole thing made for a more enjoyable watch overall.

Tone

Building off of that renewed focus, this volume felt like it had more of a consistent tone that lasted from beginning to end. RWBY markets itself as an anime show and uses a lot of that anime-style of humor (slapstick and comedically exaggerated emotions), but honestly it’s always played fast and loose with using that humor in a way that doesn’t feel out of place. In this volume it was more consistently used, and that’s largely thanks to the nailed down focus that allowed character interactions to utilize the humor in a natural way. Ruby and Maria Calavera were especially good sources for humor.

Now, things did get a little more screwball when Cordovin came into the mix, but it was interesting seeing CRWBY take that humor to a logical extreme for the first time in a while (not since the Beacon years). It interrupted the tone for a bit, but not in a manner that overall changed the genre this show is going for.

Animation

Beautiful. The improved production pipeline that we’ve heard about really came through. These episodes were the best they’ve ever looked, minus a few errors here and there, showing just how amazing RWBY can look when you give the animators time to add their own touches. There was some really great fight animation to boot: none of the fights this volume felt awkward, and you could tell the animators had a lot of fun.

Worldbuilding/Storytelling

It feels weird saying that Volume 6 did a better job with worldbuilding than Volume 4, which took place on four different continents and traveled across one, and Volume 5, which took place on two different continents and featured the second major skirmish between the villains and the heroes. I think this has to do with just how well it was integrated into the story: insight into the world came at points where the story needed it and when the viewers wanted it. Nothing ever felt like a massive info dump better suited World of Remnant; where there was just too much information delivered that wasn’t relevant to what was happening in the show. Volumes 4 and 5 had this same problem with establishing the world, often telling us too much in a way that just didn’t feel natural to the story. With Volume 6, almost every chapter up until the final Argus arc included some form of that insight:

Chapter 1 showed us how ordinary civilians deal with traveling through Grimm territory––the steps they take to protect themselves

Chapter 2 showed us some aspects of the Mistral criminal underground, not telling us too much about it but suggesting it was much larger than what Cinder encountered.

Chapter 3 showed us...so many things.

Chapter 4 offered a sense of the stakes RWBY faced in relation to all of Remnant.

Chapter 5 and 6 gave us a glimpse at another form of non-city life in Remnant.

Chapter 7 introduced us to Argus, my favorite of all the Remnant cities we’ve seen; plus a glimpse into the life of the silver-eyed warriors; and a more representative depiction of what domestic life is like in Remnant

Chapter 8 told us what Atlas personnel who aren’t Ironwood or Winter are like, plus the long-awaited insight into how the silver eyes work.

Chapter 9 shows something of the effect the Battle of Beacon, and by extension Pyrrha’s death, had outside of our core group.

Things kind of teeter off with the finale arc, but that’s because worldbuilding became a little less important to what was going on. This is kind of a stretch, but the mech fight and the arrival of the Grimm in Argus give us an idea of how large non-capital cities defend themselves without just spelling everything out.

All in all, this volume delivered on some impressive worldbuilding, probably the best the series has had in a while. It wasn’t massive info dumps unless it needed to be (e.g. Chapter 3), and it offered just enough for other important things like the storytelling and the action to still be in the forefront.

Characters

Volume 5, despite the fact it involved the major reunion of Team RWBY after two volumes, felt like it was simply putting the main characters through situations without those situations really doing anything to develop them or define them as anything beyond what we already knew. Some characters fared better on the development front, namely Yang, but others, especially Ruby, just seemed to be along for the ride without us getting any insight into them. This is where the writing issue that came from separating everyone starting with Volume 4 really came to a head: too many different characters with their own story to cover, and sometimes those stories just didn’t do much for the character beyond existing as a situation they were in.

Volume 6 feels like the refutal of that, and that mostly has to do with the fact that we’re not juggling so many storylines anymore. When a major event happens to the heroes, everyone gets affected at the same time. The train crashes? DEVELOPMENT! Jinn’s story? DEVELOPMENT AND INSIGHT! Snowstorm? INSIGHT! The Apathy? DEVELOPMENT! Telling team JNR about Jinn’s story? DEVELOPMENT! Adam ambushes Blake and Yang for the first time since Volume 3? DEVELOPMENT! WITH A HEALTHY DOSAGE OF ANGST!

Surprisingly, the same thing is happening to two of our favorite villains, Mercury and Emerald: even though they only really appeared in three chapters this Volume, we actually got a surprising chance to see how their defeat at the Battle of Haven affected them, and their increasingly strong misgivings about working for Salem. We get more of an idea of them as people rather than Cinder’s blind followers, understanding why they stuck with such an evil person for so long. It’s the most we’ve learned about them since Volume 3, and we didn’t even need lengthy flashbacks.

Even Adam got some more insight. RWBY has been following the path that Adam was an abusive ex-boyfriend for quite a while now, but there was always this underlying thought that he got into the White Fang business for a seemingly noble cause. The problem was the show hadn’t depicted how he got from Point A to Point B. The Adam Character Short offered us some of that much needed insight, putting some of his actions up to this point in a new context, even if it was set-up for clearing up some things so they could get rid of him.

Of course, there are still exceptions to characters getting character development, and honestly they’re kind of glaring ones. Oscar’s development arc, where he came to accept he was his own person, completely happened offscreen (for reasons that I’ve brought up before and will reiterate in the final section), robbing us of really witnessing his growth as a person. I enjoyed some of the stuff Cinder did this volume, especially her escape from the vault and her fight with Neo. But honestly she continues to be a pretty bland villain with little hints at her motivations for being such a terrible person: the Battle of Haven was such an utter defeat for her there needed to be some form of consequence that would’ve affected her character while also telling us more about her. Maybe it would’ve been her strategizing her revenge, which would’ve gotten more insight into how she thinks as a master planner. Instead, we get her leaving the vault, more or less going back to what she used to do but in a more low-key setting, fighting with Neo, plotting with Neo, and leaving with Neo. It felt more like “Hey, she’s alive, and here’s what she’s doing,” which while I appreciate it feels kind of a waste of time if you’re not doing anything with her beyond that. Honestly, a post-credits reveal that she was alive and then a pre-Volume 7 character short detailing how she made it to Atlas that covered her and Neo’s entire storyline this volume would’ve been more helpful.

Before I go on to my most major critique of this volume, I need to address the two Goliaths in the room.

Adam

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: they needed to get rid of Adam. The way things have been going, there was only so much more you could do with his character before he became a nuisance that was overstaying his welcome. I understand people wanted some deeper insight into him, but the fact was he was never introduced to be a major villain to anyone beyond Blake and later Yang. They could’ve had him have a thing against Weiss, but they didn’t, they focused the time that would’ve made him a major villain for everyone else on making people like Roman and Cinder and Salem the big villains. They decided on the path of abusive ex-boyfriend a very long time ago, and if you hadn’t figured that out after the Adam Character Short I honestly think you were being willfully ignorant to what’s been building up.

The best I can say is that Adam and his history is a missed opportunity for some pretty interesting storytelling and worldbuilding, but the fact remains: it is not his story that they want to tell, it is not his show. It may make something interesting to think about, but Adam’s story is supplementary, and works better in supplementary material, a la character shorts and maybe mangas.

Jaune

Y’all need to quit it with the “Hrrr drr Jaune took up time again moan moan Miles Luna is self indulgent” talk, he barely did anything this volume beyond Chapter 9 and having a sister that the whole fandom loved.

Pacing

This...this is where Volume 6 ran into trouble.

Overall, from the season premiere to the finale arc, this was probably the best-paced season of RWBY we’ve ever had. Major story events happened right when we needed them, and for the most part they didn’t drag out story arcs for any longer than they needed to be.

Well...until they reached Argus, that is.

At face value, a lot happened in the final couple of chapters. Chapter 8 gave us Maria explaining the silver eyes, Chapter 9 had the scene with Pyrrha’s statue and the mysterious Red-Haired Woman (I’ll headcanon whatever I want about who she is, Jen Brown) Chapter 10 started the Cordovin fight, Chapter 11 reinforced Blake and Yang’s partnership, Chapter 12 killed Adam, and Chapter 13 had Ruby finally use her silver eye powers to defeat a Grimm and they made it to Atlas. Yeah, it was a pretty eventful set of episodes.

So then why did it feel like it dragged? Here are a couple reasons that I’ve identified.

1. The Cordovin Battle sidelined story arcs for too long

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: the finale arc should not have been split up like that over so many episodes. It afforded us some pretty well-animated fights, some of the best the series has ever had, but the volume hadn’t been relying on that action to keep up the forward momentum, but on actually telling the stories of these characters. I get the need for CRWBY to prove that they can do well-animated fights, but as I’ve come to accept action should never take precedence over storytelling (I know, that’s hard to swallow when parts of the fndm spends hours complaining about how Monty’s not animating the fights anymore). And it’s clear to me in this final arc put emphasis on the action over the momentum of the story, bringing the actually pretty good storytelling the volume had had up to that point to a grinding halt.

Now, historically RWBY fights have delayed telling stories, but it’s never been for too long, at most maybe two chapters? But if you spend three chapters on a single fight, thereby devoting three weeks of your viewers’ time to high-octane action, people are gonna notice that the story is basically going nowhere.

What could’ve made this less of a problem? Well, perhaps establishing Cordovin earlier and making her less of a buffoon would’ve eased my hatred of this arc. Volume 6 lacks a clear antagonist for the story, but the way Cordovin was treated as a big deal in this final battle made it seem like she was taking up that role, except we didn’t even see her until the final half of the volume, and in her debut we couldn’t take her seriously as a villain, much less an antagonist, because of the pure comedy they used in her intro. There needed to be something about her at least a few episodes early––take this with a grain of salt because I think following JNR in Argus would’ve killed the balanced pacing of the first half of the volume (and just made the Jaune haters apoplectic), but maybe a few quick scenes of JNR arriving in Argus and getting rejected by her would’ve been helpful. Or honestly easing off on the comedy of her intro. Such a one-note character who we are primed to not take seriously isn’t interesting as a major force, so identifying her as a more threatening roadblock for the heroes would’ve made the stakes of the final fight a little more...present.

2. Important storylines got trimmed for time’s sake and weren’t addressed properly.

@hypeathon (whose excellent production analyses for this Volume are well worth a read) identified a tweet Miles made back in October, prior to the premiere and most likely when they were finishing storyboards, about “killing your darlings.” For those unaware and who may have severely misinterpreted that comment, “killing your darlings” is when writers have to sacrifice something they love or want to do so that the story works better. The timeliness of this tweet (after they would’ve finished the script but before they’d wrapped on storyboards and voice acting for the final episodes) suggests the writers’ room had to cut a lot of material from Volume 6 (what Miles called a massacre of darlings), most likely due to production limits or not having enough time to cover them.

Think about it: the story from Chapters 1-7 was really good: everything was properly spaced out, the scripts felt polished, there was a balance of action and comedy and legit storytelling, the good pacing lasted longer than it ever has within a single volume.

Then we hit Chapter 8 and suddenly it all changes: storylines don’t get the proper time devoted to them, arcs come to a screeching halt due to the big fight. Unlike previous volumes, where the imbalance was pretty much the entire volume, there’s actually a clear point right in the middle of this volume where things suddenly took a turn for the worse. And the fact is, some of the problems with the story in the final arc suddenly make more sense if you accept that time that would’ve been devoted to it got sidelined in this “purge”: Qrow’s alcoholism suddenly getting brushed aside after Chapter 9 hopefully to be addressed next volume, Oscar disappearing and all his development happening offscreen, Adam’s completely unsubtle return after only a vague hint in Chapter 1 that would’ve been stronger if he’d kept popping up in Argus. I’d even go so far to say the odd pacing of the final few chapters could easily have been the result of the writing team not being able to devote a single chapter to such a grand fight, so they needed to stretch it out so CRWBY could actually animate it within reasonable deadlines, which meant sacrificing time for those arcs that so desperately needed development.

So what overall is gonna fix RWBY’s pacing in the future? Well, I think at the moment the show is too ambitious. If it wants to keep to a reasonable production schedule, they need to control the scale of their finales so that it can be completed without needing to sacrifice other storylines. If it wants to hold onto that ambition and make the finales as grand as they want it to be to do their boy Monty proud, then they absolutely need to delay the actual release of the volume so they can put in the proper amount of time to both the story and animation. And I don’t think anyone would mind waiting a little longer for Volume 7 if it meant this show got the care and attention it needs to tell the story it clearly wants to tell.

Conclusions

Evaluating Volume 6 is impossible without evaluating what came before it. RWBY was never a perfect show, but when you lose someone who was responsible for the show’s popularity in the first place and have to change how it’s made to make up for his absence, there’s going to be backlash. Backlash from the fans, and, uh, backlash from inside the company. The fact is, people are never going to be satisfied with the RWBY that Rooster Teeth makes today, and Rooster Teeth is never going to push out a RWBY that will make everyone happy. All they can really do is keep moving forward.

And move forward they did. Despite my problems with the finale, Volume 6 was good. I’ve always been sort of ambivalent about the show (I was drawn to it by my brother shortly before Monty’s death and have been watching it out of respect for him and the company as creative artists), and even if I thought some of RWBY’s critics were being too harsh (or seriously needed to find something better to do), I didn’t find Volumes 4 and 5 enjoyable enough that I felt like defending them. But guys, Volume 6 did something amazing: it made RWBY fun to watch again. Focused, consistent, and compelling storytelling plus gradually eased-in worldbuilding made for a story that I could follow along without having to juggle so many different plots. Improvements in the overall animation made things nice to look at and when fights happened they were always entertaining, never making me cringe or grimace, always making me think “Hell yeah, beat the shit out of them!” Just like I felt back in the old days of the show.

I feel as though what’s holding RWBY back at this point, however, is adhering to the production schedule that its old vision called for in making its current vision. And it honestly cannot keep doing that. RWBY is a show trying to reach grand heights, and its rushed production timelines and lost story arcs are keeping it tethered to the ground. Yet I can’t help but say: Volume 6 is RWBY at its finest so far. It can’t fix the problems that previous volumes have had, but it builds on the void those problems left to build a story that makes this show feel like something worth following once more.

So, I can safely say I’ll be following along when RWBY returns for Volume 7...hopefully later rather than sooner (again, it needs a better production schedule).

[anonforlackofabettername]

Sleepover ask: Re the Dragon Prince. I've seen lots of people who seem to think that Claudia is going to be the Azula of the series - others think she'll be the Zuko. What are your thoughts? Related, do you agree with the large part of the fandom which thinks that dark magic is evil/corrupting, or the smaller part that thinks it's not that black and white?

My only fandom interaction is memes and fanart so I'm pretty removed from any theories that are floating around. I have no clue what the fandom is saying and if what I'm saying matches up with something that's already been said. That goes for both parts of your ask, though I’ll get to the dark magic stuff later. Part of me isn't even sure what you mean by the Azula of the series or the Zuko since I’m missing that meta. The way I'm choosing to interpret it, is that by Azula you mean a character who is frighteningly competent, a direct antagonist to the main heroes, and is the lesser shadow of the main antagonist that nevertheless hangs over the main heroes more often and arguably does more damage. I'm choosing to interpret it that by Zuko you mean a character who is slightly incompetent, spends the majority of the early parts of the story as a direct antagonist and the shadow hanging over the heads of the main heroes, but by the end of the story undergoes a redemption arc and joins the main heroes, eventually turning on the main antagonist and without whom the main heroes would not be able to win in the end. 

(This is fucking long so I’m adding a read more)

That being said, I don't think Claudia fits either of these. Neither does Soren. I think they maybe might fit Zuko's role, but that's a bit of a stretch. And I'm gonna say why. Claudia despite being a lovable goof in personality is frighteningly competent when it comes to magic. However magic in this universe comes with a lot of complications and components. Thus we don't get to see her expertise as often as we saw it with Zuko and Azula's firebending. Also a thing to keep in mind is that Claudia and Soren are friends with Ezran and Callum. Soren has been told to kill the princes, true, same with Claudia being told to bring back the egg, but they both care for the boys in a way that Zuko and Azula couldn't because to them the avatar was a nameless figure. These people grew up together. They share relationships. Callum even has a crush on Claudia. Its not like the foe yay sexual tension of Katara/Zuko. These people up to the start of the series lived with each other and saw each other every day. Soren was training Callum and was captain of Harrow's guard. There is a familiarity that you can't ignore and which I think will be a major conflict for Soren specifically, when we finally get to that confrontation and he has to either kill them or let them go. Right now they are supposed to be on a mission to bring the princes home which is the exact opposite of both Zuko and Azula's missions to kill Aang. However, that being said, they are on a mission to kill Reyna. Soren and Claudia showing up is a threat because they are a) trying to stop the princes from returning the egg, and b) they're likely to try and kill Reyna in the process.

However, the main heroes don't even know that Soren and Claudia are trying to find them. Aside from running from their Aunt and the run in with Crow, they don't know who is following them and what will happen if they get found. So its not like in Avatar where every couple of episodes they had to bolt out of wherever the adventure of the week was because Zuko showed up and was hunting them. They're mostly trying to get the egg, now a baby dragon, back to the border and his mother as soon as possible.

And again you have to take the world itself into account. Within the world, elves are the bad guys to humans. They kicked humans out of Xadia. They've killed hundreds in the war. They literally assassinated Harrow, though it is unclear if Ezran and Callum have realized their dad is dead. In fact Callum was convinced that Reyna drank blood, thats how much elves are the boogeymen of the human kingdoms. Now we know that’s not true and the elves were justified for parts of it, and both sides are equally guilty.  If you want to compare the show to Avatar so much, then think of it this way. The human kingdoms are the fire nation, the elves the Earth Kingdom, and Ezran and Callum have just realized how shitty their people have been to the rest of the world. In this case, that makes Ezran and Callum Zuko in the middle of his redemption arc, when he’s working through his shit while traveling the earth kingdom to get to Ba Sing Se, and Soren and Claudia are Azula towards the end of that arc when she's like ‘help me kill the avatar and I'll make sure our dick of a dad lets you come home.’ Only in this case killing the avatar is returning the egg. Its not a great metaphor, and its been a while since I've watched avatar, but that's the feeling I get overall. Its Zuko realizing that the Fire Nation has done some fucked up shit and feeling helpless to fix it because he’s just an exiled prince.

I’ve gotten very off topic at this point. Um, I think going back to the Zuko or Azula thing, I think it depends. It depends on what happens when they finally catch up with the boys. If Claudia is Zuko, she’ll see Zym with the boys, recognize it as a sentient creature that deserves life and to be reunited with his mother and help the boys. If she’s Azula she’ll see Zym as a threat to Katolis that could one day rival Thunder and decide he needs killing. And of course there’s always other options, those are just two potential outcomes and they don’t even include Soren and what he decides to do about what his dad told him to do.

Your other question was about dark magic.  I don't know if dark magic is inherently corrupting. If it is, I think we’ll definitely see evidence within the show. In general when it comes to fiction magic is magic, no matter its source. Sometimes sources are inherently evil while others are inherently good but for the most part its meh and magic just is and how people use it makes it good or evil. However, in this case, you can't ignore where dark magic comes from. It doesn't come from negative thoughts and feelings like the dark side of the force. It doesn't come from shadows or darkness like half a dozen different magic systems.

Dark magic in TDP comes from the direct exploitation of creatures with inherent magic. To use dark magic you need a plant or creature with inherent magic that the mage then twists and exploits to do what they want. To find the Moonshadow elves Viren used a moth. For the switching spell Virin used the two-headed snake. Claudia crushed a bug to create fire at Harrow’s funeral. Nothing about dark magic is innate, nothing about it is natural, and in fact it comes from exploiting natural creatures and resources. You are using the life force of a living being and generally its dead afterwards.

This isn’t important for things like plants or bugs or whatever. Yeah Claudia killed a bug and used its life to summon fire. Whatever, who here hasn’t killed bugs before? It starts to matter however when you’ve got people like Ezran who can talk to animals and understand what they’re saying. I’m sure being a glowtoad there’s a spell that Claudia could cast using Bait. That’s not okay since Bait is a pet as well as a living creature but if it happened to another glowtoad I doubt anyone would care. But since Ezran can talk to the animals, he does care because he knows the animals are not consenting. It also starts to matter when you have magical creatures that are sapient and intelligent enough to put their foot down and say I will not let you exploit me like this.

So I don’t know if dark magic is inherently corrupting, but the idea of using creatures is an inherently dehumanizing and corrupting one. To dark mages, these animals, and even the elves and dragons and any other magical creatures that we haven’t met yet, are less than human and exploitable. To Virin and Claudia the egg wasn’t a baby, it wasn’t a person, the egg was a weapon. Because to them dragons, magical creatures, and the like are tools and weapons. This has got some serious race implications because the last time we thought of an entire class of people as tools we had slavery and it was legal.  

To use dark magic, you have to be in this mindset that people are tools to be exploited. I have no idea what dark magic using an elf’s life force or a dragon’s life force would look like. I’m sure its possible, and I’m sure I wouldn’t like the result. There is a reason the elves took one look at dark magic and said ‘not today satan’ and decided it was a severe enough crime to exile the entire human race from Xadia. They were not about to let themselves be used. There is a reason the elves are the boogeymen of Katolis and the rest of the human kingdoms and part of that is they’re the enemy and part of that is if they are monsters, if they aren’t human, then no one will care what abuses happen to them.

So no, I don’t think using dark magic is inherently corrupting. I don’t think the magic itself corrupts. However I do think that to use dark magic, one must look at the world through a corrupted lens. You must be okay with harming living creatures to accomplish what you want, and you must be okay exploiting others. Anyone who believes in the intelligence and personhood of all creatures and then uses dark magic is either ignorant or a hypocrite. When it comes to Claudia, I think she’s partially a hypocrite and partially doesn’t see how what she’s doing is harmful and wrong. She sees only the potential of dark magic, and hasn’t yet realized what she’s harming to get her way.

[bmichael]

Tanis vs The Southern Reach

In order to talk about the Southern Reach (TSR) trilogy, you have to talk about Tanis. There are a few reasons, both personal and intrinsic to the work. The most basic is that I’d have never heard of TSR without being a part of the online Tanis community. They would come up whenever anyone asked about works similar to Tanis, but they were generally recommended wanly, with the ending being a particular weakness. (This is absurd, because --) This was enough recommendation to get me to buy the book, but it took the first book from the trilogy, Annihilation, being both film-adapted and involved with my day job, to give the final push for me reading the books. 

The second main reason the two go hand in hand is that, without exaggeration, the Tanis podcast has tried, mostly unsuccessfully, to adapt or steal every good idea found in Jeff VanderMeer’s TSR books. Looking into Tanis provides an accurate map of the books’ general brilliance in the manner of a photo negative. An abominable necromantic double.

Fairly everything TSR covers -- psychological sessions and hypnosis; mysterious sylvan phenomenon; shadowy, quasi-NGOs running roughshod; oh yeah, and necromantic doubling -- Tanis has taken and used to worse effect. Everything. Instead of being set in a vaguely southeastern forest region of the country, Tanis sets its drama in the northwest. Again, another mirror-image type play, and not enough to give any sort of plausible deniability of blatant rip-off. But that Paramount money probably smoothes over any professional displeasure VanderMeer holds for Terry Miles’ podcast series.

Tanis is easy to explain and difficult to describe. It’s a serial fiction podcast centering on the investigative radio journalism of Nick SIlver, for a fictional northwestern radio station (now) called the Public Radio Alliance. He investigates a phenomenon called Tanis, which is found in the woods of the Pacific Northwest. Its fourth season recently began. (Good timing?)

Going more into it, the story of Tanis unfolds glacially. The first season forms a relatively clean arc that doubles back upon itself using a neat trick of storytelling. From there, the Tanis podcast tells an essentially ten-page story over the course of tens of hours of audio drama (insert scare quotes) by 1- having characters speak slowly and repetitiously, using dialogue that moves in fits and few starts; 2- picking up various narrative strands like the suicides of Kurt Cobain and Elliot Smith; shod feet washing up on shore; necromantic doubles; Nikola Tesla; Baba Yaga; Manson Family-style cults; time dilation; exotic locales around the world that aren’t in the Pacific Northwest; etc. etc. etc. and never resolving or developing them past basically stating them as premises; 3- finally, falling somewhat under the first rubric but deserving special attention, the dramatically stunted narration/actions of Nick Silver, the protagonist. I can’t recall there being a more unlikeable yet vanilla character in any sort of fiction or literature I’ve experienced. The voice actor is obviously Canadian, which somewhat contributes to the blandness of the character. Throughout the podcast, Silver is supposed to be a journalist or investigative reporter or something, but he displays virtually no curiosity or initiative. He’s happy to passively be told (or not told) things by interlocutors, asking no follow-up questions save for repeating whatever he’s told back to them with a slight upturn of voice. It’s maddening and deadening and a perfect symbol for the total plot stasis and lack of narrative drive that surrounds Tanis like a noxious miasma.

So, while the second TSR book, Authority, is a little slow (by design), it’s nothing like the complete vaporlocked and broken narrative engine that is Tanis.  

Now, I stopped listening to Tanis after season 3, and even going through that was a slog. The podcast has recently taken up season 4, but I already have the work of Morton Feldman and Max Richter to help put me to sleep. It’s not that the narrative moves at a glacial pace; an overarching narrative thrust can proceed exquisitely slow and glacial if that’s part of an intentional narrative strategy. Kinetic pace and frenetic plot can serve some types of stories, but would be totally out of place for a piece that’s more about exploring space like, say, L'Avventura. The Southern Reach and Tanis are on the more meditative side of the dial, but I believe Tanis moves the way it does due to a lack of storytelling ability rather than design. Take a look at this piece of transcript from a season 2 episode. (The reader should note that things deteriorate rather steeply from season 2 to season 3, but I couldn’t find a transcript online for 3.)Two characters, Nic and Geoff (“Geoff”), are exploring part of an outdoor anomaly that is linked to, or possibly is, Tanis. They’re walking along a wall. After noticing a crow that he thinks is more than a crow (which he doesn’t elaborate on other than to say he doesn’t know why he feels this way), Nic says he sees something “interesting”. I understand that podcasting is an audio medium. For that reason, even more than for a written work, the narrative has to show and tell vividly. Tanis takes the opposite approach. Details are muted and obscure, the storytelling palette is limited to shades of gray. The bit-by-bit pieces of the story comprise a push-pull of exchanges like:— This is impossible.

— What? — This. — What is it? What? Here? — Yeah.

And you can read on above. It’s bad dialogue, sure. But also, given that it’s an audio medium, the eye can’t skim or travel quickly through soft focus detritus to get to the details of the bigger picture. There is no bigger picture, and all the details are like little croutons floating on top of a mushy, rotting word salad. Characters often can’t mutually decide, it seems, on what they’re seeing or thinking and exposition is stretched out to absurd lengths of what’s thises and who’s thats. This storytelling-by-stasis is my main complaint against Tanis, and 95% of the reason why I don’t listen to it anymore and would never recommend it to anyone. But it’s just the rotting frame that holds up an incredibly slender narrative idea, and I do think that’s by design. Very little happens in each episode. They’re edited such that several different storylines unfold in parallel, none of them very far, and they’re told so slowly and vaguely to mask how little happens. The first season had an arc with a beginning, middle, and end. If it had ended then, Tanis would have joined Limetown and Wolf 359 (which went on MUCH longer, though) as great narrative podcasts. But it’s continued drib drab storytelling over, now 4 seasons reminds me more of a modern “video game as service” than anything resembling a piece of fiction told by someone or someones in control of a story they’re telling. Every week you sorta log on to Tanis, see what minor things have happened, which for whatever reason takes 30 to 50 minutes, and you get to hear 4 or 5 ads as well. There doesn’t seem to be a larger point to anything, and that, I guess, is the point.

Most of the things that make Tanis a slog end up being positive features of TSR trilogy. The narrative metes out information in order to decontextualize and recontextualize different plot points and developments, sometimes in devastating fashion. Like most literary fiction TSR is about intergenerational family drama. The ways the past births already condemned presents and futures. When you’re finished reading it, you realize that the books told a relatively slight story powered about the mystery of Area X as it wove through a couple generations of the families who grew up in and around the environs of Area X. It’s not so different from various parts of Ulysses, where a minor event for one person is a major event in another’s life, which has a ripple effect for hundreds or thousands of other people in the environs of the plot. And when you experience the events through the different characters eyes, you experience a new meaning and significance.

I think, ultimately, I wanted to vent about Tanis and communicate that TSR is a significant improvement (or rather, that Tanis is a great degradation of it). Without spoiling (ugh) too much about TSR, it’s a propulsive story about ecological biomes and how change happens glacially and then all at once. This theme is somewhat reflected in the way the story is told, but it never drags and it generally always seems like the narrative energy is well-directed for the story it’s telling. Highly recommended. C+