#(don't let my IRL friend see this) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

godbirdart · 6 months ago

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i've been so used to the online space where if you like a series or fictional character that someone else hates they will openly berate you and cut you out of their life and tell you to Go Die so when i got into a thing that a friend really didn't like and their only reaction was "i do not like it" and left it at that with no over the top reaction or lecture on Why The Thing They Don't Like Is Bad, honestly i felt like i met god

#i am often reminded my irl friend group is made up of people who act like actual mature adults and every day i am so fucking grateful for it #when i see people going on like: if you like xyz fandom or character you are blocked on sight yes i will kill a friendship over this #my reaction is always something along the lines of: well okay let me just preemptively make sure you and i don't interact ever again ???#and it's NEVER THE TEENS MAKIN THESE POSTS!! WHICH IS WHAT TERRIFIES ME #it's always grownass adults that should be more concerned with idk!!! taxes!! work!! the news!!! LITERALLY ANYTHING THAT ACTUALLY MATTERS

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wayfinderships · 3 months ago

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I'll be so doomed the day I ever get a girl f/o

#pan rambles #I say doomed in like. a positive way. In a “I'd get way too flustered” way #I haven't really talked about it here because I don't feel like I owe it to people to talk about my attraction and the complexities of it #But I'll talk about it a bit bc I just need to ramble #I'm 99% I'm Aro. At the very least some flavor of it. I don't care about finding a specific label- I've spent many years stressing about it #And I don't really feel like spending even more years stressing about it #Despite being aro- I like the idea of being in a romantic relationship one day #Even if I know it'll probably never happen #Not only am I perfectly content with my QPR rn but also because I don't think most people would be open to the idea of dating an Aro #Which hey! Is completely fair! I know the love I feel is different than what I think most people feel #Though I'd argue that even if it's not exactly the same type- It's still plenty strong.When I love my friends it's a strong feeling #I'd do anything for my friends and I love them so much that I'd literally do anything to see them happy! The love I feel for them is strong #But it's not. Romantic y'know? Augh I'm getting distracted!#Back to my initial point!!! I can't tell if I like girls or not!#I'm not exactly in a safe place irl to try to experiment with those feelings so I've been pushing it aside for so long!#But I think there's definitely a chance I like girls in the same Aro™ way that I like guys!#I'm not gonna try to find a label for it because I don't want to label it but yeah #There's definitely a few crushes and f/os that I've headcanoned as Transfem before #But I've never romantically f/od a girl #Afksnfksnfkskd Ok yeah that's enough of Panchi rambling for tonight!#I just needed to let that out!#Thank you to anyone who listened to my Rambling about Attraction and stuff-

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deerest-deer · 1 month ago

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thinking really hard about logging into my old tumblr acc after being gone for like a year and a half cause i stumbled upon a post that led me to my old mutuals and i teared up a lil </3 but also i feel so ashamed i left without saying a word to anyone aaaa

#like i genuinely feel so bad for simply disappearing from people's lives :c #i used to talk to some of them daily and like even had plans to see one of them on holiday to another country?? like that level of close #and then well my mental health went to shit i took a semester off uni and disappeared from my irl friends' lives too for a good 6 months #some of my mutuals had my ig and we followed each other but i also haven't really been there much since dissappearing last year so #but i just snooped into some of their accounts and seeeing what they're up to made me want to talk to them sooo bad #everyone was so cool and kind and i miss them so much it's just i feel so guilty and also don't even know if i'm able to mantain constant #contact and conversations with people now. like it's been even hard for me to stay in touch with my irl friends aaa #why must my brain hate me so much and not let me socialize !! i used to be such an extroverted person what the fuck happened!!#i know some of them messaged me worried and i felt so guilty for not responding but i saw those dms when i was very much deppressed #so i never answered and now i feel like it's too late GOD!!#anyways at least it was nice snooping and seeing how they're doing i genuinely wish them only good things they're fucking great #maybe i just need to suck it up and just go back and talk to people again but i get so overwhelmed just thinking about it!!#okay it's like 4 am i'm posting this and maybe deleting it in the morning sorry for the rant i just am feeling a lot !!

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sylvumbreon · 8 months ago

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Let’s be research buddies in Pokémon Sleep.

Here’s my Researcher ID!

6327-5114-2868

#pokemon sleep #pkmn sleep #pokémon sleep #pokemon sleep friend code #pokemon sleeo researcher id #researcher id #my post #not me forgetting you could add friends on here and hoping for some bc of research events #let's help each other out!#also kinda just didn't want my irls/pals i know well to see how bad i sleep tbh dksjdnd #idk whats visible on there.#but they don't need to know that much anyway;; lol

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ladyartichokie · 2 months ago

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Scratching bug-bites until they bleed is therapy, actually

#ramblings of an artichokie #Artichokie shut up challenge #status: failed #I have totally normal coping mechanisms guys #(don't let my IRL friend see this)

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qqqqqqqqqqq0 · 4 months ago

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i've been having some trouble falling asleep lately

#art #i'll be yapping in the tags #its not that im depressed or anything. it is the opposite actually #ive been using this medicine for quite some time. and it made all my negative emotions disappear #“oh wow huh but isnt it great you don't feel bad anymore”. this is the same thing my psychiatrist told me when we were discussing this topic #in hindsight it was kinda silly of her to say. i can't believe i pay a ridiculous amount of money per session just to hear shit like that #but she's cute and im a pathetic homosexual who'll seethe at the sight of other specialists like a beaten dog so I will let it slide i guess #we see each other twice a year anyway and all i need from her is the prescription for happy pills. anyway the happypillen #i would fight god if it means i can use stertraline for the rest of my life. thanks to it i can and i do live #but I don't really feel like myself anymore. do you get what i mean #the things that have been giving me anxiety attacks or flashbacks not so long ago? i feel almost nothing about it at this momet #it still haunts me to this day but the intensity of my feelings and emotions does not reach even 1/5 of what it was before #i do not want to disclose more specific topics so i will use a simple example. i used to be afraid of dogs #the fear was so severe that the mere sight of the tiniest little barfing creature was enough for me to freeze #now i can pass one without any problem. the fear i feel today is nothing more than a shadow of bygone times (something i do out of habit)#but i guess this example is not objective enough since my close irl friend has a dog that i became fond of #im still pretty sure this dog of her is capable of biting my ass off if necessary but im not afraid of it #because fear is not an option in this brain of mine at this moment #i don't feel any anxiety sadness or anger anymore. even if something close to it begins to rise in me it shuns down within a few minutes #i can't even cry. i am craving emotions that i was so eagerly trying to dispose of back then #i feel the most mentally stable I have ever been and at the same time i feel pretty much dead.#perhaps i just got used to the fact that sorrow accompanied me for a very long time and i should learn to live without it #perhaps sorrow is just as important as happiness and its absence is a mere side effect of the happy pills #and i have to put up with it in order to have a functional brain #perhaps we people are never happy with what we have in our hands. also i hate drawing #one's can tell since the picture i attached is raw as fuck #but even despite my praised mental stability if i were to stay alone with it even for a minute longer i would go insane #next time i will draw something lighter and cuter. like my favorite kpop boy or fortnite. maybe in the next century #thanks for coming to my tedtalk. bye #i made a typo in the word “sertraline” but im too lazy to fix it i would fight god for you but i will not do this im sorry zoloft

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seagullcharmer · 1 year ago

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also thinking abt the one post that's like 'how come when people talk abt time blindness they're only ever late? hurr durr why don't time blind people show up EARLY??' i hate it. i AM the sort of time blind adhd person who shows up early

#libra.txt #like yeah some of it's the anxiety #but i WILL be ready for stuff way in advance #if you've ever scheduled a voice chat with me please know that i start getting my computer ready at least twenty minutes early #like if you say 'yeah let's call at 6! :-)' at five i'll tell everyone in the house that i have a voice call please don't bother me #and have my mic ready by 5.30 and then just Wait.#unless something has come up and/or i am Inconvenienced #i'm the time blind person that assumes everything takes way longer than it actually does #(except cooking. i'm really bad at estimating cooking times)#it takes 20-30 minutes to get to most of my appts. most of my appts tell me to arrive 10-20 minutes before my actual appt time #if left to my own volition i would arrive to almost all of my appts half an hour in advance #(which works out well for my surgical oncologist bc for whatever reason he always seems to be running ahead of schedule)#(i'll have an appt for 10.30 and get there at 9.55 [check-in downstairs takes FOREVER] and he'll call me back at 10.05)#unfortunately the rad onc is the opposite. it doesn't matter what time i show up. an hour early. half hour early.#ten minutes before the scheduled time. she is only ever late.#i have waited half an hour in the waiting room and then an hour IN the appt room before seeing her. i know she's very busy but. um. please #anyway. yeah a lot of us with adhd run late (my irl friends are almost always late)#but some of us DO show up early to things #i have shown up to appts two hours early on accident #i can be ready to go in ten minutes flat #(which gets frustrating bc my parents will tell me to get up early and then i sit around for half an hour waiting for them to get ready.#that's a half hour i could have been asleep)#perhaps this makes me sound selfish and lazy. alas. i have chronic insomnia and chronic fatigue. i love to sleep.#would love to wake up well rested one day #libra's oversharing again #< should probably be a main tag at this point

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number-1-haxorus-fan · 11 months ago

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I just tried to deepthroat a banana in a very straight way and got about a third of the way down, honestly pretty impressive considering I did that with no prior experience

#gay #banana #deepthroating a banana #please don't let my irl friends see this why did i post this

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funkylittlebats · 9 months ago

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