#something something craving intimacy and companionship something something anxiety something something ptsd and fear of abandonment
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#something something craving intimacy and companionship something something anxiety something something ptsd and fear of abandonment#probably because i've been rotating TB and AJ in my head like they're in the microwave but i too want a giant man to gently hold my hand#but i'm such a fucking alien‚ i don't know how to talk to people. i don't want to flirt‚ just wanna hold a conversation‚ and i'm bad at bot#the only people still interested in me have no idea what i'm like irl and i'm too afraid to actually meet up with anyone i've met online#i'm also a broke jobless busted-ass loser so like. i bring nothing to the table other than knowledge about my niche hyperfixations#and no one wants that LOL#i also have a hard time giving people a chance because i've been burned so bad that i'm constantly guarded#any friends i've made in the last 5 years are all kept beyond arm's length#if i don't let you in‚ you can't hurt me when you inevitably leave 🤔🤔🤔#there's a post that went around that was like 'you give a piece of yourself to every person you've ever loved' and yeah bitch that's true#i spent like 25 years constantly giving and giving and giving so now i'm all shrivelled up and dry. ain't got nothin left#what could anyone possibly see in me at this point lol
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