#i dont fully like it because it just feels like im faking it?? jumping on a bandwagon???

[getreadytosmash]

Sometimes there's just lids on things u don't wanna open

[br1ghtestlight]

ranking all bob's burgers holiday episodes except in different categories to be fair to the holidays i don't care about <3

VALENTINES DAY

v for valentine-detta (AMAZING episode so funny and the introduction of nat who is iconic!!! also adorable subplot w/ bob and gene. not even really about romance)

can't buy me math (SOOO FUNNY tina and darryl have the best dynamic their fake dating was so stupid. don't even remember what bob and linda did in this episode tbh but im sure it was cute)

bob actually (super cute episode!!! jimmy jr and tina are so nerdy/adorable and i love rudy and louise's kiss. bob and linda were cute too <3 don't really care abt gene's subplot with the cafeteria lady but its not bad or anything and i prefer it to him having an actual romance subplot)

my fuzzy valentine (i actually forgot this episode existed bcuz i don't rewatch early seasons very often but its cute!!!! it has the kids wearing raincoats and jumping in puddles so it automatically gets an A+ from me)

the gene and courtney show (I FORGOT THIS WAS A VALENTINES DAY EPISODE LMAO its actually very sweet and genuine?? i think gene and courtney work better as friends but their relationship was very cute and gene's song for courtney was an actual 10/10. your hearts not broken its only growing 😭😭💕)

romancing the beef (this episode is okay!!! fun to rewatch and i love gene and louise's hijinks when serving the customers and their slow dance song Also the origin of the iconic arm hair line from linda and teddy. this is also the lastest appearance of hugo when will he return home from the war <\3)

ferry on my wayward bob and linda (a late addition because for some reason this episode isnt listed as a valentines day episode on the wiki??? idk i enjoyed bob and linda they were cute :) and i loved jen's stupid boyfriend and his stupid voice that subplot was. soo)

bed, bob and beyond (this episode being last makes it seem like i don't like it very much BUT ACTUALLY I THINK ITS A SUPER INTERESTING EPISODE I DONT REALLY GET THE HATE bob and linda having an actual argument is something we rarely see and it was interesting to see how the kids responded to it and also everything with the broken bed makes me laugh for some reason. we love dirty laundry and broken beds in this household)

HALLOWEEN EPISODES

the apple gore-chard but not scary (no real reason this episode is my favorite i just dont care abt most of the halloween episodes and this episode is VERY silly and fun. loved bob and louise going on a field trip together and gene/tina/louise's absolutely ridiculous costume like What is their problem)

the pumpkinening (a gayle episode where she's actually pretty okay and not the antagonist wow?? also i love having a peak into her and linda's high school years and their pumpkin smashing. very fun episode honestly my favorite to rewatch ALSO GAYLE AND LINDA SAY I LOVE YOU TO EACH OTHER AND GAYLE SAYS OF COURSE SHE CARES ABOUT LINDA AND WANTS HER TO BE HAPPY THEYRE SISTERS <33)

tina and the real ghost (FULLY unhinged episode but very funny i love louise lying about the ghost and tina's extremely fake ghost boyfriend. bob immediately knowing that louise was lying bcuz she is her Fathers Daughter. also jimmy jr and zeke were great in this episode love their philosophical debate about life after death)

the hauntening (GREAT episode i love the family working together to scare louise!!! truly a worthy successor to what an (april) fool believes but everytime i rewatch it all i can think about is how louise has been obviously scared SO MANY TIMES in episodes before this so her saying she's never been scared before is just straight up lying. like she faced Death she had a gun to her head cmon now.... but also it kinda makes sense that a nine year old would lie about that it feels very in character. cute episode)

heartbreak hotel-oween (this is such a weird episode i feel like everybody forgets it exists?? teddy linda and bob's subplot is a little gross but the story about the woman and her dead boyfriend who she tries to summon every halloween like GIRL WHAT???? idk its such a weird sad pathetic episode im kind of obsessed with it. how did they even come up w/ that one and why was it a 70s halloween party. many questions)

teen-a-witch (WE GOT MR AMBROSE IN THIS EPISODE HELL YEAH‼️‼️ other than that not very memorable but louise and gene's relationship w/ tina in this episode was very sweet they're great siblings But also they did use her magic to cheat on their homework and get free tater tots at school.....)

nightmare on ocean avenue street (not a bad episode i just forget it exists sometimes LOL but teddy's extremely gay subplot with the handyman was hilarious and the kids were cute too. easy episode to rewatch around halloween without it being too freaky)

the wolf of wharf street (THIS EPISODE IS SO??? love teddy's sexy nurse costume and kinda's cher costume?? gene is my favorite fruity boy. there are some good jokes but otherwise not an episode i think abt too often)

full bars (gun to my head i couldnt tell you a SINGLE thing about this episode i haven't ever rewatched it so it feels almost unfair putting it on this list bcuz i don't remember much?? they went to king's head island and bob accidentally killed teddy's pet rodent or smth. probably not a bad episode and i believe this was the first introduction of king's head island which eventually gave us sasha and ducan so of course i can't hate it)

pig trouble in little tina (this episode is so WEIRD like not bad and i think the hayride is kinda cute but the dead pig corpse.... god that fucking corpse haunts me)

fort night (dont like millie in this episode AT ALL and don't like how they almost die and nobody gives a fuck. don't like bob and linda in this episode who don't care that their kids never came home for their costume and get passive aggressive about it when they were KIDNAPPED???? don't like millie in general and this was her first appearance. but i think their box fort was pretty cute and i would like to see it again, plus all the neighborhood kids hanging out together was fun)

MOTHERS DAY EPISODES

amelia (IT TECHNICALLY COUNTS OKAY IT WAS AIRED AS A MOTHERS DAY EPISODE anyway maybe one of my favorite episodes of the entire series so heartfelt and beautiful. louise's presentation + exploration of cultural misogyny + the ending song make this episode an absolute killer and an amazing season finale)

sauce side story (it was a tough call between this and mo mommy mo problems but i LOVED learning more about linda's family history and gayle was so great in this episode. still obsessed with gayle pretending to be their mom its so funny this episode is so good)

mo mommy mo problems (cute episode!!! for some reason i really appreciate the detail of the snack bar inside the ferry in this episode and the seating area bcuz i have taken MANY many ferries and boats in my life and i rarely see that aspect of island culture represented in media?? very unhinged ending with the squirrel blood SHE PEELS THEM LIKE FRUIT ROLL UPS but overall a sweet episode every character is so likeable and fun!!!! also just a hilarious episode tbh)

mom, lies and videotape (fun episode!! not really too much to say about it bcuz it was another three stories type episode but the kids were very cute and i loved gene's REAL performance where he was out of synch for literally every line of that song. god bless America. also louise's fictional play was very fun you can tell how much they all love and respect linda <3)

tell me dumb good thing (not a bad episode but the main storyline was pretty boring so i dont think about it too often. LOVED bob's subplot with the fucking internet cucumber however this might be one of my favorite subplots in the entire show they gave him such a big win. he loved that cucumber so much AND THE CUCUMBER GUY LET HIM INTO THE BASEMENT??? TEDDY TOO???? it makes me cry its so wholesome and sweet. also appreciate the clever way that they connect bob and linda's storylines in the end)

THANKSGIVING EPISODES

dawn of the peck (this episode is actually tied w/ stuck in the kitchen with you BUT i decided to put it in first place bcuz i think i maybe enjoy rewatching it like 0.5% more. every line of this episode is comedic gold like easily one of the funniest episode of the show if not the actual funniest it should have a higher rating than it does on IMDB. i dont care how high its rated it should be higher!!!! also rudy my beloved)

stuck in the kitchen with you (i dont expect this episode to be ANYBODY ELSES favorite but for me its such a wholesome and fun episode to rewatch and pretty funny too. bob and louise's relationship is great. the parade the kids throw with zeke's help is so funny. linda's subplot with sargent bosco is HILARIOUS and bob telling louise "i was being too much of a cook and not enough of a dad" is something i think he could stand to say more often in thanksgiving episodes. but also he's autistic and i understand)

i bob your pardon (very fun heist episode?? louise running out to protect the turkey from the ACTUAL WOLVES and bob saying that he'll save the next turkey from wolves gets me everytime. this episode is honestly just fun and silly its a great time)

turkey in a can (maybe this episode should be higher?? its SO FUNNY and also confirms bisexual bob is real. wholesome ending and i love that bob invited teddy and mort over for thanksgiving dinner along with gayle <3 they're his family)

thanks-hoarding (teddy focused episode :) loved finding out more about his family and relationship with them and learning a bit more about his mental interior and how he copes with stress and childhood trauma. very fun episode to rewatch)

putts-giving (ACTUALLY I REALLY ENJOYED THIS EPISODE louise and tina's relationship is always interesting to explore esp as tina grows older and matures/leaves her siblings behind. loved the mini golf setting and i would like to see it again someday but i think they got a lifetime ban.... from the mini golf course......)

an indecent thanksgiving proposal (absolutely unhinged episode?? any episode w/ fischoeder is great and i love drunk bob mourning his turkey friend even if his jealousy of the kids and linda kinda makes me sad <\3 HE LOVES BEING LINDAS WIFE HE LOVES BEING THE KIDS DAD OKAY HE DOESNT WANT IT TO BE ANYBODY ELSE and linda saying at the end of the episode that she doesn't want to be anybody else's wife not even for pretend is very sweet)

gayle makin' bob sled (this episode is very interesting and i love gayle's relationship with bob in it. also linda and the kids trying to cook thanksgiving dinner without him is SO FUNNY like gene and louise especially oh my god. "maybe its a good thing if your family annoys you sometimes because.... it means you have one" 😭😭)

the quirk-ducers (this episode is CRAZY but also very funny. louise spraying dead animals guts and blood all over the play's audience was deeply unhinged as was them publically performing tina's erotic friend fiction as a play to their families and teachers. amazing song which im assuming gene wrote)

now we're not cooking with gas (bob was just SLIGHTLY too crazy in this episode and i feel bad that he couldn't cook his special turkey :( but the kids getting the giant log from the park and almost killing somebody always gets me like?? WE ALMOST DIED AND MAYBE KILLED OTHER PEOPLE BUT THATS NOT IMPORTANT WE GOT THE LOG bob needs more wins in thanksgiving episodes i think)

diarrhea of a poppy kid (this episode is really sweet tbh!!! louise and tina comforting gene when he's sick by telling him stories and him being holed up in the bathroom playing with makeup and writing a thanksgiving song which was of course very catchy. him and bob were also adorable in this episode and i love bob saying that he loves to cook for gene!!!! <3 they're both so supportive very cute episodes but the stories they tell are not very memoriable tbh)

CHRISTMAS EPISODES

the plight before christmas (this is such an obvious choice but it really is an amazing episode there's a reason its the highest rated episode of the show!!!! its so incredibly sweet and loving with really solid pacing and jokes throughout the episode and gene's musical ability saving the day without being turned into a joke. obviously tina and louise's relationship in this episode too. and i see my sister with something that looks like gingerbread on her glasses 😭😭💕 louise's poem GETS me every single time. also weirdly helpful birds eye view of seymour's bay at the end

father of the bob (INTRODUCTION OF BIG BOB!!!! honestly this episode is just very cute and interesting love analyzing the dynamic between bob and his dad.... it almost seems like big bob likes linda more than he likes bob. cute ending and i always like learning more abt bob's family so this episode is a 10/10 from me)

yachty or nice (THIS EPISODE WAS SOOO CUTE jimmy pesto and bob actually having a bonding moment and the kids subplot with teddy 😭😭💕💕💔 love that they call him their uncle father santa teddy and that he knew in the end they would do the right thing bcuz they're good kids so he saved a special toy for them. he loves those kids so much. jimmy pesto redemption arc could be real if we believe)

the bleakening (this episode was very fun!!! AMAZING songs and i really enjoyed the ending with the gay christmas party and everybody dancing together. some very funny jokes in there too and i just love the creepy vibes of the kids sneaking out of the house and tina being smart enough to bring the emergency phone along w/ them. genuinely a great two parter episode)

god rest ye merry gentle mannequins (THIS EPISODE IS SO???? still dont know what was going on with the crazy mannequin guy but i honestly think its sweet that lily's brother let him live there for free for so many years even when he didnt really need to. also i believe the first time bob's mom is mentioned in the series??? idk this episode is really fun and i love all the different holiday displays they do)

have yourself a maily linda christmas (nothing too interesting to say abt this episode its just silly and fun!!! linda episode!!!! also something about tina and bob trying to entertain the grandparents and keep the peace while everybody else is gone is SO funny theyre the worst at talking to people. the ending with louise gene and tina was adorable too)

nice-capades (honestly its been a minute since i rewatched this episode but from what i remember it was very sweet and silly. LOVE how many random adults were willing to drop everything to help these kids put on an ice shaking performance for santa. also louise being worried that she isn't a good person. gene giving rudy the last taco just because he Cares about him and wanted them to be happy. this episode was cute and they really are such good kids)

better off sled (I ALWAYS FORGET THIS WAS A CHRISTMAS EPISODE because the main plot doesn't have anything to do with christmas it feels like the die hard debate of bob's burgers holiday episodes.... either way bob and linda knitting scarves for the kids was cute and i liked the snowball fight subplot. very sweet and simple episode)

the last gingerbread house on the left (fun episode?? there are some funny jokes and i liked seeing linda and teddy go singing together w/ the kids while bob is tormented and experiences the horrors of gingerbread houses. lily mention!!! noticing that christmas episodes tend to be the episodes where bob's family gets brought up the most i wonder why that is???? absolutely unhinged gingerbread house competition btw but they should let felix join them :(

christmas in the car (i remember this episode being SO STRESSFUL like he tried to kill that family Good god. teddy was very funny in thjs episode and i did enjoy it otherwise)

gene's christmas break (i feel bad putting this episode in last place bcuz I LOVE GENE but it wasn't that interesting an episode tbh 😭 i did like getting to see younger gene even with his terrible autotuned chipmunk voice and seeing how he uses music to relate to his family. we need another gene-focused christmas episode at some point they flew too close to the sun here)

ONE-TIME-ONLY HOLIDAY EPISODES

what an (april) fool believes (AMAZING EPISODE proably one of my favorite episodes of the entire show tbh. bob and fischoeder are so funny + homoerotic and gene not wanting to scare or upset anybody by pranking them is so cute <3 my baby)

eggs for days (the one and only easter episode!!! honestly this episode is really fun overall just a great time. love bob and linda being Extremely Hungover and the rotting egg and the raccoons.... they need to bring back easter episodes tbh there could be something there)

flat-top o' the morning to ya (this episode is so weird bcuz in order to make it a saint patrick's day episode the description and promo has NO MENTION of the main plot of this episode and only focuses on teddy and linda's subplot for some reason?? which makes it extremely hard to find the main plot of this episode if you dont remember the subplot despite it being Literally the focus. but other than that honestly i think its very funny and bob's story with the kids is sooo..... me when i accidentally rope my kids into committing Grand Theft Auto w/ me. sad that bob never got his discounted plates that man deeply needs a win)

[xamaxenta]

Just had the funniest sabo concept and I needed to share. So sabo is out on a rev mission with a guy he doesn’t really like because this guy is flirty and doesn’t fully accept ‘I have a boyfriend’ because no one’s met ace. Sabo is making himself dinner around a campfire (sausages) and the dude is being skeevy and goes like “yanno raw sausages really have the same mechanics as a limp dick” as soon as sabo picks up his dinner to cook it. And sabos just had enough at that point. So he just dead stares (doesn’t even glare) at this guy and dragon claw squashes the sausage in a horrific way before stabbing it with a cooking stick clean through and borderline shoved it into the fire and just completely calmly says “oops. Ruined dinner there.”

The guy backs off and after the rumors circulate no one flirts with sabo again and yet still feel ashamed when they do meet ace who is defiantly real and sabo is defiantly a simp for him

This is so good tani wtf ok but but but butt!!!

What if this skeever and Sabo need to return to debrief and shit, and as much as Sabo loathes the fucker, he does dedicate himself loyally and 1001% to the revolutionaries which is all he can really ask for, just a shame the twit has to go and be a sleaze maybe a reminder in etiquette with Karasu and Morley might set him straight

The sleaze is like oi wait Chief, where are ya going dont we have to head this way to the meet up point?

Sabo smiles and waves at them as he ditches them like nah. My rides here actually.

Tips his head down towards the pier where a bright yellow surfboard shaped skiff docks and reclining casually against her mast is none other than portgas of the whitebeard pirates, the.

Aforementioned boyfriend the sleaze had totally assumed was a fake cover for Sabo to refuse his advances

I know u mentioned No ones met Ace but Sabo deffo named dropped him and that he’s a big name yknow. Like. Know it when ya see him kind of deal

They didn’t even stop to consider Sabo was actually not bluffing this time around. And that he was right about the whole know it when you see it thing, Firefist Ace’s reputation is well sung

Sabo salutes them as he heads down to the docks like catch ya later, have fun with your debrief im off the clock

And then Sabo takes a running jump into Ace’s arms that almost pitches them off striker from the momentum, sue him he’s tired and the sos call he sent to Ace last night was well worth the trouble bc hes never tired of seeing his mans :3

[wawawawawawawawawawawawawa]

the anon who doesnt have aspd and taught myself empathy again here! i've never talked to a psych (self diagnosed autism) and as a teen i was p sure i had aspd (i Knew shit was strange w me and really wanted an explanation and once i figured out my mix of trauma and autism things made sense) coz lack of remorse and shit but i never actually really matched the rest of it -- i dont have substance abuse issues and never have, im p easily entertained, i've had the same three friends basically my entire life. i do though describe myself as the worlds most boring hedonist coz like yeah i sometimes have a hard time controlling my impulses and im motivated by fun but for me thats usually p simple -- easily entertained. read a book, video games, jump around to music. i AM frequently bored though?? like its my most frequent emotion and ive spent a Long time learning to cultivate my joy and really feel it properly. but im also the most easily excitable person i know. i dunno, i have v large emotions that appear then disappear quite quickly. a favourire hobby of mine since i was a kid has been to start arguments between the ppl i care abt and see how large i could make them in a single session then solve the argument w/o the ppl realising i'd manufactured and egged on the argument. which typing that out now seems uh. an interesting hobby. but late last year i told my younger brother and he laughed coz its a v me thing to do and was like "yo thats fucked. pls stop doing it to me" so since then ive mainly tried to just like playfully tease ppl in a normal way coz cognitively i understand its a fucked thing to do and im trynna be like, a decent person who doesnt go outta my way to play w ppl for funsies. which yeah that uh... maybe i Should look into aspd more again, i did a fairly shallow look into it as a teen and relating to azula as much as i did as a kid (and izaya as an older teen/young adult) was deff a sign of smth

i've followed you on this blog for a while (i think you'd only had it for a couple weeks when i first followed u?) so yeah i did know the story abt u and ur fiance! v cute

i feel like maybe we need a different identifier than "the anon who doesnt have aspd" because that might not be, uh. accurate! i have o clue why a lot of people with aspd seem to congregate around my account but i guess this is an aspd helpline now??????? whuh????

like im not complaining its just. how did i get here

also i think ive deadass used the "worlds most boring hedonist" descriptor for myself before and i deal w chronic boredom the same way you do- i have a LOT of hobbies and i plan elaborate projects and that entertains me but only temporarily

and thats the thing about aspd! it- like every other disorder- is a spectrum. you might not have substance abuse issues, and i do. you did.... your interesting hobby, and i find it morally fucked!* i have no idea your relationship with criminality, and i got fired for stealing

*i have done something similar but i have a moral policy of like, only fucking with people who Deserve It. who deserves what varies case by case and what exactly i do... i need to explain weird spiritual stuff to go in depth andyeah im not really itchin to be called crazy on tumblr dot cum

aspd in general is very misunderstood and no literature really focuses on what its like to have the disorder, only the perceived damage being around someone with the disorder will bring- which is why i initially self diagnosed thru tumblr posts from ppl talking about their symptoms in a serious educative way

sometimes i think like, maybe i don't have aspd, maybe i'm just autistic and i'm spreading misinformation- but i never really felt "at home" with other autistic people. its like- yeah i click better with other autistic people, but i'm still masking, i'm still faking, and even in this situation i can drop the mask partially but not fully. growing up with a personality disorder and trauma in communities largely filled with autistic people with trauma, very quickly teaches you that there's something different about you. it's an isolating, traumatizing feeling- my experience with this was mainly symptoms of npd, but like.... knowing you have a problem, wanting it fixed, and knowing nobody around you knows how deep the problem runs, and might even find its existence laughable or dangerous... it's isolating! and its shitty!!

generally i tend to Know if things i'm doing are bad or not, i just tend to not care in the moment, because it's better than being bored! entertainment wins out over everything. it's actually kind of terrible; i'll do stuff just to see a reaction out of people- it's like izaya, honestly, what happens when people are pushed to their breaking points?

thats kind of how i got so much into angst and psychological horror. not only did i want to break the characters, i wanted to break my audience. i'd tell my friends detailed stories about torture partly because i was interested in my story, mostly because i wanted to see their horrified reactions. i wanted to see how far was "too far," and i keep that stuff in my current narratives- i keep the pov extremely tight and do silly little tricks with narrative and formatting to make the audience feel like they're Really There

so yeah look into aspd. do it boy listen to me im the ps5 im speaking to you inside your brain. do it boy do it

[earlysunshines]

woah okay wow jesus... still recollecting my thoughts I dont even know what to say... just...woah mo dani 😔 I've said it more then one time that I really love your works but the bad part of beingtoo shy and always replying on anon mode is the idk even your would recognize me from the other ask (uuh im the one of spiderjeans gang, gonna claim myself as 🤟anon too from now on) and well always accidentally writing long reviews, so here it goes 🤸 also your answer to that ask got me feeling all giddy🤭🤭

AND ALSO you said you breath fuffly but girl????ohmygoood the angst on this one, gonna jump to the end but woah the dani crying part genuinely almost made me tear up oh the to be whipping her tears omg ilymodani

also³ the way I had to contain myself so much to kicking my feet while reading this cause im at middle of work 🫣opened tumblr for curiosity and OOP priorities babe

n just at the started this I knew where this fake dating was going because imagine being fakedating dani and NOT falling in love with her?? impossible. this one just proved it

one petname from her and I would be tripping over my feet

and oh.... oh the ice cream scene.... oh...😮‍💨 never felt such a pang in my chest like this one, she being 'just happy' and getting closer aaaehrgh the caring kiss on her hairrr ooasrgrhh such idiots in love omg

kinda gonna blame my girl yn here for being drunk of her mind just cause she can't speak things up(i dont too) but hehe the 'dani living yn face by her chin' and the 'pretty' being let out 🤭🤭 woop

anyways, this was longer than intended sorrw i just love speaking my mind out on this feedbacks cause if it was to me i think if it was with me I would love so!! as always amazing amazing work thank you so much for feeding my delusions with little mo dani I loved it, hope you have a beautiful great day 🫵🫶

-🤟anon!!

how could i NOT recognize u i await your feedback each time it gen makes me smile so hard and i appreciate it so bad i love my work being analyzed😞👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 and ily

the ending was acc very diff like i plan my shit out in my head and write but i changed the thing last min and thought of the whole crying thing out of nowhere bc i saw a pic on pinterest of her from her bday live of her crying😭😭

ALSO CUBED LFMAOOO

in the middle of work is crazy but yes right like i’m gonna fall for her regardless HELLOOO and i fully believe her fav pet names r sweetheart and lovely and some other cutesy shit like darling or smth

NOOO THE ICE CREAM SCENE WAS SO FUN TO WRITE I had to like sit in my room thinking it out and trying to make it as sentimental and like relaxing as possible and i love giving kisses to ppls like heads into their hair if that makes sense LMAO

nooo bc i sometimes ramble when im drunk but sometimes i go nonverbal and i decided to swap it LOL

ITS OK IF IT WAS LONGER THAN INTENDED I LOGED EVERY WORD OF THIS I LOOOVEEE YOUR FEEDBACK PLSS ILY ILY FOR RESDINY MY WORK TYSM

hope u have an even better day beautiful

[moss-sprouted]

dont witness me too closely here or ill get skittish and run away but

i keep having that little tug in the back of my head of

wow maybe im specifically trans masc with a sprinkle of agender rather than just agender

but i feel like if i let myself fully lean into that, not really being in a position of being respected gender wise irl even as a nonbinary person, let alone being fat and big chested and already struggling to bind at all and knowing i struggle with change too much and am not in a position to do surgery or hrt or work towards it, i think would probably make things all the worse for me

so i dont even know if even being slightly incorrectly gendered as male would make me feel good because id have to jump through so many hoops for it to ever even occur

and online being referred to as boy or male or anything else makes me feel like an imposter and like im just fake and pretending

so now i just, sit with all that and hope one day it bothers me so much that not changing is worse than changing, because thats usually how things work for me

i still feel agender, i feel like i dont want to be a man or a guy or a boy or anything, but sometimes i want to be a trans guy in the sort of colorful peacock way

and sometimes that even feels bad because i dont want anyone to think im just pretending or want attention or something when im walking around with a giant chest and a too high pitched voice

obviously, i do not think this about any other people but damn is it hard to reconcile with this as one of those "if i dont think about it too hard it doesnt exist to me" kind of autistics when it comes to gender, considering i didnt even realize i wasnt a girl until it seemed like even an option

and i feel like there some days i feel okay just being agender but other days i just wish i was a trans nonbinary guy

[pippytmi]

omg I can't believe you're actually working on the To All the Boys I've Loved Before AU for Josie and Isabel! I hope it's going well and something sticks for you! May I ask for a sneak peek?

!!! yes its been SO fun writing it...im aiming for pure comedy in this one so its been such a joy to focus on humor. i dont have enough josie/isabel scenes fully fleshed out (im still picking and choosing the scenarios i want) but can i interest you in one of my favorite PJ & josie scenes:

“A fake letter? At least open it before you jump to conclusions,” PJ scoffs, tearing into the envelope herself. “I'll read it to you. ‘Dear Josie, I think I'm falling in love with you. Ever since you helped me cross that stream blah blah blah I haven't been able to get you out of my head…this is so junior high. Did Isabel write this while she was drunk?”

Josie makes a split-second decision to snatch the letter away. “You know what, let me see that.”

Dear Josie (I don't know your last name),

I think I'm falling in love with you. Ever since you helped me cross that stream and you put your jacket on the rocks so my socks wouldn't get wet, I haven't been able to get you out of my head. You're much more of a gentleman than any of the dumb boys here! I wish you would ask me to be your date to the end of summer bonfire…something about fire and sharing s’mores is so romantic. I had my first kiss around one of these bonfires. Would I be your first kiss? I want to be. I don't want anyone else to kiss you besides me. But every time I look at you, you're never looking back. :( 

You confuse me so much! One second you're letting me wear your beanie because it's cold, and the next you're avoiding me like I have the plague when everyone pairs off for kayaking. The night where Brittany and I got lost in the woods for five minutes, Stella-Rebecca told me you were the first one to notice we were missing. And later, when the kitchen ran out of hot chocolate, you gave me yours. I thought that was proof you liked me, but the next morning I said hi and you just stared at me until we had to keep moving. I can't figure you out, Josie (I Don't Know Your Last Name). You're the most beautiful mystery I've ever encountered and I wish you would give me a chance.

Love, 

Isabel ♡

Josie is quiet for a long moment. “Fuck,” she says out loud. “Isabel used to like me. Fuck!” 

“Seriously?” PJ perks up and yanks the letter back so she can read through its entirety. “You lucky bitch.”

“Camp was ages ago, though,” Josie says dejectedly. “I missed my chance.” She tries to punch the wall with a dramatic flourish and just ends up with stinging knuckles, barely hanging onto her sanity while PJ starts raising Isabel’s letter to the light.

“Who says you missed your chance?” PJ says, either completely unaware of Josie’s pain or ignoring it. “Do you not understand how monumental this is? You’re basically in the pussy already.”

“I hate to break it to you, PJ, but it's been years since everything in this letter happened. Literal years. Isabel probably doesn't even know my name anymore.”

“What, did she get amnesia since she became a cheerleader? Knocked in the head by the sheer force of your bad sense of style?” PJ waves her hand in Josie's general sense of direction (which Josie personally takes great offense to by the way). “You're not seeing the vision. If Isabel wanted you at one point, then she can feel that way again!”

“How?” Josie can't take it anymore. She has to get a bag of frozen peas to ice her poor, bruised hand. “There is nothing I can do to make her remember I exist. Short of, I don't know, faking my death at a homecoming rally or something—”

“I like it,” PJ says. “Or, stockholm syndrome. That's always a great choice.”

“I really don't think so,” Josie says. “Actually.”

“First order of business. We're going to the county fair this weekend,” PJ announces. “The football team will be there, which means Isabel will be there—”

The bag of peas falls to the floor with an unceremonious clunk. “I feel like you're forgetting one super important roadblock in all this,” Josie says. “Her boyfriend.”

[literally20something]

I have also been thinking about how I don't really like "dating" or at least the way that some people do. I don't like when people that I have known for a week are constantly complimenting me or constantly trying to call/text me and know what doing everyyyyday, im sorry baby I don't know you.

Im not gonna lie I think that the only reason that I don't like the constant texting is because while you're texting they're like flirting and I feel like there is a motive and you want something from me. I don't know why can't we just get to know each other as people, why don't you give me the opportunity to start liking you, and give me the time to want to compliment something or just know you and figure out who you are and I want you to be eventually. I have always been an advocate for being friends before actually dating someone but now that I've have my 3 seconds of "dating", I really really mean that like pursuing someone I don't know romantically sounds so ridiculous, it sounds like a character im trying to play.

I feel no need to be outwardly romantic or even feel internal romantic/emotional feelings for someone I've known for a week or two like huhhh. It just feels weird to talk to someone knowing that's there goal and feeling like were on two different paths. Even if I think they're physically attractive I wouldn't be like super flirty and romantic idk. like not in a real way at least.

NOT TO SAY THAT I DONT JUST FLIRT FOR FUN ITS HARMLESS, and I usually only do it when im literally just goofing like that's not real in anyway idk

now how do I know that not what these people were doing, I don't and it doesn't really matter if they did mean it in a super lighthearted way, it was as much as they were doing it. like why are you calling me randomly just to mindlessly chat about shit Idc about and give compliments, that's at the very most texting territory (when I don't know you), and then then I don't want to text about that. its boring! send me a funny video or an article or something, let me know your opinions and how you feel as a person, give me a chance to care about your mundane and boring day to day shit like omg.

in conclusion, I don't really be liking people until a while into knowing them. if I do like them right off the bat its projection and fake and even then I wouldn't immediately want to be jumping down their throat complimenting them, I don't know you yet omg, will I probably be more excited to know them and build a relationship yes butttt forcing it is a no.

that's another point I forgot to bring up I think that had I even fully truly been into those people it would be less annoying and I would enjoy it a little more but also how can I even begin to be into you when I feel like there is this ulterior motive and projection like please calm down.

I don't know I just like being friends first and a more organic and gradual romantic relationship forming from there

[roachemoji]

OKAY LIVE BLOGGING THE END OF SEASON 1 AGAIN !!!!!!!!!

OKAY ATTEMPT #2 AT WATCHING THE SEASON FINALE OF SEASON ONE HERE WE GO

---

Starting again with Joyce being my mom she's always been SO FUCKING DETERMINED the eNTIRE TIME BUT the progression of her being distraught and feeling incapable to being one of the strongest characters for me is!!!!!!! despite still feeling so... helpless??? THE WAY SHE DOESNT TAKE BRENNER'S FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

Brenner being SO FUCKING USED TO HAVING CONTROL and dropping the mask so quickly :-) I dont have anything smart to say about this but im sure someone has!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WAS DISSOCIATING LAST TIME I DIDNT REALIZE THEY WERE THREATENING TO EITHER FAKE HIS SUICIDE OR MAKE HIM SEEM LIKE THE ALCOHOL JUST GOT THE BEST OF HIM

Spacing out a little because ive seen all this and yelled about it already - but I still gotta way that !!!! Nancy and Jonathan cooporating like they are as quickly as they are because they both see how much they care about another person and that selflessness bringing them closer OUGH

Like Nancy empathising so much with how much Johnathan loves his brother - and this both making her set aside her own shit to care openly about Mike and to see Johnathan as like a PERSON and not just a freak weirdo????

HOPPER FLASH BACKS thats all

AGAIN WITH THE HANDS - WHO STARTED THIS WHO STARTED WITH THE BLOOD LETTING IN HANDS ITS SO ??? BRO THAT HEALS SO SLOW AND PAINFULLY LIKE WHAT THE FUCK !!!!!!! YOUR ARM? YOU CAN DO IT SAFELY UGH

Return of me adoring dustin with my WHOLE FUCKING HEART he cares about his friends and is so smart and so goofy and he makes me SO HAPPY

STEVEEEEEEE AGAIN STEVE IM AHHHH CANT ARGUE WITH A MAN WITH BIG BROWN EYES WHATEVER YOU SAY GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HES KIND OF STUPID HES SO STUPID AND OBLIVIOUS AND HE THINKS HES SO BIG AND STRONG AND IM ASKDJHALSKDJLAKSDJH DAMN WE LOVE AN IDIOT

JOHNATHAN AND NANCY ARE SO CAPABLE ITS INSANE THEIR COOPERATION IN A TIME LIKE THIS AND STEVE JUST PISSING HIS PANTS <3

I... cant wait to watch more and see all the issues that arrise between Mike and El im ngl - their relationship so far is cute in the... innocense of it all? Im not sure what happens between them but from what I've seen its not like great it just feels very much like how I personally experienced crushes when I was younger? ESPECIALLY on boys? From the way that El is integrating into everything it feels so compulsory that she'd have a crush on a boy and they'd date and Mike obviously understands the world similarly - this is what little boys and little girls are supposed to do. Were people going like bonkers off the wall for them being in a relationship in season one like Ive seen some people argue currently? Because I dont... get it. I think its cute and innocent but its clearly not going to work out and besides El has no fucking idea whats actually going on, no fully?? Cant expect her to actually understand her feelings when she hasn't actually experienced what its like to be a kid with a crush yet shes literally a weapon, she only knows what its like to be an isolated and abused kid and nothing else

OH MAN YEAH YEAH YEAH WHITE WOMAN JUMP SCARED X2 EXCEPT HER FUCKING BRAIN IS GETTING MELTED

YEAH

EYAHE

AAYFUCK

YEAHAHHH EL FUCKING EXPLODE EM GIRLIE YEAHHHHH FUCKASKJHDAJ

YEAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK YEAH GOD THAT WAS SO GOOD still as excited as i was the first time i saw it yeaHHH BABBEYYYYYYY GET HER ASSSS fuck

THE BOYS JUST BEING SO READY TO KILL AND DIE AND MAIM FOR EL IS EVERYTHING TO ME BOYS WILL BE BOYS

SOMETHING SOMETHING HERE IS IT AGAIN THE MASK DROPPING I COULDNT PAUSE ON THE LITTLE FUCKING TWITCH OF ANGER HE HAS BUT FUKCKCKCJASKDKJAS

Something something El finally feeling safe enough to sTAND UP TO HIM BECAUSE SHE FINALLY REALIZES NOT ONLY THAT HES BAD BUT THAT SHE HAS POWER OVER HIM AN DPEOPLE SHOULD AND DO CARE anyway

EAT HIS FUCKING FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh man okay i cant watch the part where they find will it made me gag last time - but im interested to learn WHY the UD is feeding off people like this????? or if thats just how that specific creature feeds im sure theres a deeper meaning to it all DHAKJh I know they compared La Creatura to a few animals because of its attraction to blood but im kind of interested to know if the animal sounds they used also relate to its behaviour ???

IF I HAVE TO SIT THROUGH ANOTHER GOD DAMN FUCKING HOPPER FLASH BACK IM GONNA SDOSFUSDFJHD how many more parralels are there because i know DAMN WELL THIS ISNT THE ONLY EPISODE WHERE THERES ONE and i know theres gonna be more with him and El in the future UGHGHAHSDH

ALSO JOYCE JOYCE JO YCEJ OYCE JOCEY JOCEY COEYCE JOYCE JOYCE BITES MYSELF BITES MYSELF BITES MYSELF

DO MIKES PARENTS EVER GET DIVORCED IM SUCH A HATER I HATE HIS DAD SO MUCH LIKE I GENUINELY FEEL UNBRIDLED RAGE WHENEVER I SEE HIM

im NOT cRying oVer this little tiny family that felt so broken coming together and being closer than they ever were before and will continue to and THE BOYS WAITING AND OUGAHKSD I LOVE HOW AFFECTIONATE THEY ALL ARE AND GOD AND THE DND THE HE OUFH damn see fore shadowing or whatever

NANCY GIRL NO IM SO SORRY FUCKING BARB BARB DIDN AKSDHASKHDHDUFDHKJDSKJHSDKJHFSKJH OH IM ACKKGH

HOPPER WHAT IF YOU BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THAT GUY HUH he just put his hat back on like a signifyer that he was ready to return back to the life he knew, back to the grind, nothing changed- AND THEN TAKING IT OFF TO GET INTO THT CAR ??

DUSTINNNNNNNNNN AND THEM AGREEING AND AHHHH god this is so good this is so good this IS OUGH THEIR FUCKING CHARACTERS BEING NAMED AFTER THEMSELVES IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

Whistfully looking back to El's Autism Nook

NANCY JOHNATHAN BESTIES IN MY HEART FOREVER grIPPING my need to platonic friendships SHE GOT HIM A CAMERAAAAAAA THE ONE THAOSDK AHHH GUFH BITES BITES BITES BITES BITES BITES

MIke's dad is asleep and i want him to choke

WAIT WAS THE GIFT FROM STEVE OH MY GO STOP STOP STOP STOP NO THAT GIFT WAS FR STOPPPPPPPP AHHHHHHHHH BITES BITE SBITE SBITES BITES BITE SBITES BITES BTIES BTIES

WHY IS THERE A FEEDING BOX IN THE WOODS DAMN AKJDHAKD I MEAN IK ITS FOR EL BUT HELLO? IS SHE JUST A WILD BEAST????? KJSHKJHKDSFJHKSFJHD

JOYYYCEEEEE LOOKS SO CUTE

OH IF YOURE GONNA THROW UP IM AHHHHHHHHH haunted little victorian child ass vibes

OKAY REALLY GOOD ENDING TO A SEASON ACTUALLY and it ending with the theme song - im starting to pay attention to the ending songs now KASJDHKASJDHJK

NEW ST LIVE BLOGGING bc i lost my old thread lmao S1 06-08 (but not really i need to rewatch the end again)

Episode 6

OKAY im starting like halfway through ep 6 again

the AUTISM in the first 30 seconds of this episode starting up again lmao EL calling him a mouth breather because its the first insult she fucking hears??? Yea YEAH

GOD JOYCE IN A TURTLE NECK <- my mom (hold oni have to jump back up here because I completetly skipped the part about Jane and her mom and the connection to El and i feel like its a little too on the nose that thats who El is given how much ive seen and read about the fuckery and connections in this show so im waiting on that - unless it is just... that. AKJHD)

I LOVE DUSTIN SO MUCH WHY DO I NEVER HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT HIM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK

hes SO smart holy shit i mean they all are but his interpersonal skills are so JUST YEAH CALL THEM OUT CALL THEM OUT also his quiet "ok" when he pushes that theyre all his best friends UGH

is this the scene is this the i think im about to watch the thing i just OH MAN HE JUST CLOCKED HIM WHO STRADDLES A MAN LIKE THAT WHEN YORUE FIGHTING HELLO

damn

anyway sorry Johnathan and Nancy Platonic Soulmates Best Friends Forever im making them bracelets !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh man i was gonna mention the van that Lucas saw but i forgot also GOD DUSTIN IS THE ONLY ONE WITH FUCKIGN SENSE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH boys boys boys boys boys

I FORGOT HE PISSED HIS FUCKING PANTS LMAO

JUST PISS YOUR PANTS???? oh he okay yeah i though the was actually asking him to just piss his fucking pants

DUSTIN JUST SACRIFICING HIMSELF WHY DO I NOT HEAR MORE ABOUT HIM ACTUALLY

SO what would happen if Mike had like died what would happen if those kids had caused his death like wouold they have just ran and left Dustin or pushed him off or what like AKJSHDSKAJHD

IM SORRY THE SONG WHEN EL SHOWS UP IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

El exxperiencing PTSD so vividly breaks my fucking heart like girlie i understand i understan di do i reall really do god im so sorry BABY GIRL ITS OKAY AOOIASUDSKAH SHE OPENED THE GATE DAMN gonna like swaddle her or something god

im sorry the squad of white vans going to kidnap children is a little too on the fucking nose for me

---

Episode 7

real talk could El not just explode them what if El just exploded them i mean obviously theres OTHER consequences like... killing people BUt i mean.

SHE IDNT EXPLODE THE VAN BUT I MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT GUY IS PROBABLY DEAD SO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pausing to say something actually: How child abuse is depicted so far in the show is very scary to me in how real it feels. To be a kid in those situations, to not understand the power you weild because an adult as manipulated you into believing that you're helpless? That the only person you can rely on is them, even as they're actively harming you? Brenner being aware of the harm that El can cause him but believing so strongly in the hold he has on her and therefore he is above consequence, above harm? fucking yucky The scene of him giving her the potted flower made my stomach sink. Felt a little too close to home I know that themes of abuse are really prevelant in this show and Its really interesting to see how it affects people different but especially El, someone who'se pretty fucking clearly autistic and shows a lot of the same symptoms that i did post abuse? I thought i had more to say on it and maybei will as time goes on i just!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ough okay moving on --

LUCAS!!!!!!!!! APOLOGIZING and El saying she sorry too and ALL OF THEM APOLOGIZING YEAH THIS IS BOYS BEING BOYS BABEY THIS IS!!!! BOYS! BEING! BOYS!!!!!!!

WHITE WOMAN JUMPSCARE AGAIN

i cant wait to get to the part where i understand who you (POINTS AT EM) believe she is and fully feel whatever i should feel about her and what shes done or about to do or going to do in multiple timelines or what have YOU

Mikes dad makes me want to ram my head into a wall

and BRENNER is just fucking STABS HIM STABS HIM STABS HIM

Joyce is just :3c she just!! she <3

she can.... make you fly....... and...... piss yourself

the two super powers

OUHAKJSDH i forgot they think Johnathan killed Will jesus christ i hate these two so much and OUGAKSDH GOD THANK YOU FOR AKHSDAKJH FINALLY!! THANK U IK STEVE SHAPES UP AND CHANGES HIS SHIT AND GROWS THANK GOD BUT JESUS ITS ABOUT TIME HOLY FUCK

SPIT IN HIS EYES SPIT IN HIS EYES !!!! WISH U HAD GOD NOT THEIR DND SHIT HELLOW???

the Byers,,,,,,,,,, seemed so distant before like they didnt know each other or cared but god theyre so close theyre so so close and i feel that i get that

MIKES DAD AGAIN I WANT TO HES SO FUCKING STUPID if i were locked in a room with him id put on cocomelon

HOPPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

THE BOYS ARE ALL SO SMART I LOVE THEM OS MUCH

El is just trying so fucking hard god the liek desperation and fear or failure and guilt that she just keeps carrying itS JUST!!!!

MR CLARKS LIL DATE NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! do you ever use your teacher's autism against him and force him to info dump in the same of science.

watching them setting up the pool and knowing they probably just told them to figure it out while they filmed it <3 ALSO MIKE REALIZING HIS SISTER IS ACTUALLY COOL idk need more siblings being siblings

JOYCE IS MY MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

someone giving El the option to say no? to back out? to FEEL SAFE??? im going to lose my mind im gonan scREAM and cry and throw up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am BANGING MY FISTS On the TABLE

genuinely WAHT did barb do to deserve this WHAT DID SHE DO SHE WAS SUCH A GOOD FRIEND OH MY GOD

joyce joyc ejoCYCE JOYCE JOYCE fuck all yall shes my favorite character im in love with her

Do episodes that end in the upside down also not end with music @ em i cant remember this happening before bc i didnt write it down <3

---

Episode 8

LAST EPISIDE OF THE SEASON i went to get popcorn for this to pay full attention or as much as i could im goingin an dout of dissociating so bare with me i feel like im gonna have to rewatch the entire first season again bc i missed a lot but we'll get there in due time anyway onward and upward boys

OHH THE FIRST SCENE I SAW A PARALLEL TO EPISODE ONE!!! WITH JOYCE ON THE PHONE AND NOW YELLING AT BRENNER

god i love WHEN PEOPLE STAND UP TO BRENNER AND DONT BELIEVEHIS BULLSHIT

Hopper <333333

Johnathan and Nancy are my favorite best friends theyre jUST like GUNG FUCKING HO i love it

IM OAIUSDKAJHD NANCY AND HOPPER GOING FUCKING IN WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS NOT GONNA HAPPEN yall keep underesitimating these people because you got your fancy suits and you think ou have control of the situation and then you get your ass handed to you SO IM waiting for his ass to be handed to him

do NOTTTTT DO NOT DO THIS TO ME WITH HOPPER DONT THROW ME INTO A FUCKING FLASH BACK!!!!!!! NOT LIKE THIS NOT HERE GONNA BITE

if i have to watch people cut their palms to get blood one more time im gonna STOP STOP IT STOP IT STOP oh my GOD LIKE... BAK O FYOU HAND? YOUR ARM? GIRL.

STEEVEEEEEEEEE are the lights gonna start blinking girl please pleas eplease srteve please can he help kill please bro Im HIS big brown eyes hello hwa the fuck

SO Tumblr deleted... everything after this and im kinda upset man i got like 20 minutes left in the episode not even and it just wiped out 90% of me going balls to the fuck wall about El exploding people's brains and how much i love Joyce Byers and how they gotta stopputting me through so much emotional turmoil when it comes to Hopper and his flash backs

I think im gonna rewatch the last episode to give a better genuine reaction bc i kinda spaced out at the end and dont super know whats going on now askdhj

[lolawassad]

Hahah hey it’s me again, I was wondering if you could do a tasm!peter x reader where they meet in spider-man nwh and totally fall in love but avenger!peter kinda has a crush on the reader? And then there’s a fight scene where they are both just trying to protect her but then she’s like a “hey sorry guys lemme just take over 😅😌” and has powers like wanda. Then the reader proceeds to take out all the bad guys and the other peters are just like “since uh when☝🏻”

Now that I’m reading my request it seems super stupid and confusing but as thought it would be cool lol. Happy writing!

I love it, i got the noti and saw tumblr with a question mark and i was like "shes back!"

Tw. Little smut? MINORS DNI, cuss words, little angst but fluff

Okay so im gonna just make it so that the first peter is seeing what y/n peter 2 and peter 3 can do? But nobody knows y/n has powers, only mj does because shes our bestiee. Y/n is like the green arrow but then doesnt yknow kill people:) so a vigilante

Tobey peter will be called blue, Andrew peter will just be parker/peter and peter 3 will be red?

Please dont ask for logic lol, also just so we are clear im making y/n from tom!p's world and tobey!p also had a friend named y/n and they look exactly the same but andrew!p didnt have a y/n!

Tasm!peter x reader

3rd pov

Blue walks up to y/n and slaps her shoulder "you sure you wanna train with the spiders? It might be very different because you arent.. Well yknow a spiderman" he asks slightly concerned that they might work her to death with slinging all over the place.

Y/n just sends him a really big smile "yeah!" She says sounding really confident but still sweet, red turns to look at her "im sure you will do great y/n!" He praises the girl making parker scoff and roll his eyes "lets just start please?" Parker says

Blue lets go of y/n and claps his hands "ofcourse!" He says before he takes off his shirt

Y/n's hands go over her face "WOAH MAN" she yells out making the three peter's laugh "i have my suit under my clothes y/n" blue says, she uncovers her eyes "how was i supposed to know??" She asks fake offended.

Blue is now fully undressed but also not because he is just in his spidersuit and shoots webs to both peter's and they are both caught of guard, blue shakes his head "no reflexes really?" He asks dissapointed, then he tries to sneakily shoot a web to y/n but reading his thoughts she knew he was gonna do that and kicks his arm so its pointed up.

Blue smirks "well then" he says and he goes into fighting mode, "lets go" he says.

Y/n pov

I giggle and clap my hands while jumping up and down "yay" before i use my powers to throw him against the wall, i hear four gasps, the peters and ned, mj she just claps "thats my girl" she yells monotonely

Blue looks at me "You didnt tell me you could do that?!?!" He yells out shocked, i look over at the other two peter's, red is looking at me like he just saw his celeb crush while parker is looking at me like im the sirius black to his remus lupin.

Then ned interupts "YOU CAN DO THAAAAT?" he screams before walking over to me "thats like the scarlett witches power holy shit??" He looks so confused and happy at the same time, he wraps his arms around me and squeezes "all my friends are so cool" he says happily.

I coo softly and hug him back, then we both feel a pair of arms wrap around us, we look up and its mj "shut up" she says when she notices us smiling widely at her, then red joins us, his cheeks are bright pink.

Its then i read blue's thoughts and he goes to web us, i fly out of the embrace and make his web shoot onto him instead of us "how rude" i say before flying over to him and patting him in the face.

"Also you parkers dont have that great reflexes in normal situations do you?" I ask them, all three shake their head and look down in shame.

3rd pov

Parker looks at y/n with a fond smile on his face, everyone is distracted and he nods his head to the side when she looks back before walking away far away from the group

She walks into the direction parker just left in and is quickly pushed into the wall "that was very hot y/n but your such a bad girl for not telling us" he says lowely while pinning her wrists to the wall next to her head, she just looks at him shocked before nodding her head in agreement.

Parker smirks and kisses her, she kisses back and then one of his hands go to her ass and he squeezes making her gasp, he smirks and slides his tongue into her mouth, he then lets her other wrist go before lifting her into his arms and grinding up into her making her moan.

Its then they hear the sound off glass falling in the doorway, they stop making out and red storms up to parker "how could you try to take her from me?" He asks shocked, y/n looks confused at red "take her from me?" She repeats.

He looks at her with a blush "y/n i like you" he says "kid" parker says "look, y/n and i we clearly like eachother, i mean we where about to make love, so im sorry but you gotta move on, also do you not notice how mj looks at you? Its how i used to look at gwen and well now y/n and you know its not your fault kid, plenty of fish in the sea right?" Peter rambles making red glare "dont you have your own y/n in your own universe why you gotta take mine man?" He demands while pushing the older parker, blue hears the comition and rushes over.

Y/n is pressed against the wall and the other peters are at each others throats, he webs the parkers and glares at them "fuck is this" he demands.

Y/n speaks up "their fighting over me i never ment to hurt anyone i didnt mean to im sorry!" She yells out before she flies out of the open window, parker goes to follow her but blue stops him.

"Sit" he says to them, when they dont move he yells "NOW"

They both rush to sit down and blue sits in front of them "dont do that, dont fight with your friend over a girl" he says "my y/n died because i didnt pay attention to her because my friend, harry, also wanted her so we got so busy fighting over her, i forgot to protect her... And now shes dead, so just figure shit out. Dont fight" he tells the younger parkers before webbing out of the same window y/n just left out of.

The two peters turn to each other and glare.

Blue finds y/n sitting on the edge of a building, legs dangling off. He sits next to her "boys are stupid, dont worry im a man" he jokes making her giggle "i just thought red knew i liked him only as a friend.. I mean he walked in on parker and me.. Kissing" she tells blue.

He takes his jacket off and wraps it around her shoulders "yeah well sometimes boys brains are small sweetie" he replies.

They then sit in quiet for a bit, the quiet is quickly interupted by parker hanging upside down behind her, blue notices him and taps y/n on her shoulder before nodding his head parkers way, he then swings off the building when y/n turns out.

"Please kiss me my blood is rushing to my brain, love" he begs making y/n giggle and kiss him

[hwangsies]

zephyr

(n) a gentle breeze

pairing: seo changbin x female reader (hwang hyunjin x female reader)

genre: rebound to fwb to dumbasses to lovers(?), college!au, undergroundrappers!3racha

warnings: angst: mentions of infidelity, heartbreak and abuse, seemingly unrequited love, they are both so dumb and prideful its annoying, fluff, bad attempt at comedy, minsung on the side, cursing, alcohol consumption, smut: protected piv, oral (f), studio sex, praise, mild degradation, hair pulling, mild spanking

wc: 10k

enjoy <3

-

September

"y/n?" you hear your roommates faint voice calling out your name.

You dont bother to answer because you know she's going to come into your room at any second now.

And you're right. "y/n??" Your door opens a few seconds later.

You groan in response, not looking up and instead staying in your little cocoon of blankets.

"no babygirl what are you doing?" you feel the bed shift under lias weight when she sits down.

"what does it look like i'm doing?" you grumble back, her hand gently rubbing over your arm.

"sulking, babe" she replies, dropping her purse to the ground.

"10 points for griffyndor" you sniffle as you scooch and sit up, pushing the blankets half off of you at which she sighs.

"wooyoung was not that good of a boyfriend for you to still be crying over him" lia presses her lips together concernedly.

She's right, you know it. It has almost been two months and you still feel like crying everytime someone mentions him.

"i know" you nod somewhat defeatedly "still, i was with him for almost a year and" you hiccup "he literally ripped my heart out and trampled on it"

"i know" lia nods understandingly "but i do think it would help if you went out again, even if its just for a night, you know just to be around people"

"it probably would but i just dont have the energy for it" you shrug your shoulders.

"i get it, girl, i really do" she pats your knee "both of my exes cheated on me, my only luck was that they were both awful at hiding it so i found out pretty quickly" she huffs.

You force out a chuckle, from what you heard from one of the girls that wooyoung cheated on you with, was that it started 3 months into your relationship.

"this the most humiliating thing ever, lia" you scoff "being with someone for so long, trusting them and telling them all your secrets and you think they are doing the same for you but then realizing that they were faking it all along to have multiple side chicks, and the fact that i was too oblivious to figure it out is the icing on the cake" you rub your forehead, feeling a migrane approach due to the sheer amount of crying you've been doing.

She seems to know what's happening and hands you the water bottle next to your bed "hydrate, sis"

So, you do. Taking four big gulps out of the water bottle.

Once you place the bottle next to you and tie your hair in a messy bun, you look at your roommate more thuroughly now that the tears are wiped away.

"you look pretty" you compliment her makeup and casual yet chic outfit "what'd you do tonight?"

Her contagious grin spreads over her face, eyes turning into little crescents.

"chris took me to the fair in town" lia grins before her face drops "I'm sorry, this is maybe not the time to ta-"

"No! It is, tell me about it" you interrupt her.

"O-okay" she nods hesitantly "well, i dont know if you've been keeping track but today was our fourth date and it was amazing" she gushes.

"I cant believe how much i like him, like, its crazy" she squeals a little, at which you giggle.

"so, fourth date huh? And he hasnt tried to get into your pants yet?" you quip.

"nope, i initiated our first kiss and other than that nothing" she whispers the last words before laughing.

"thats great" you smile, genuinely happy for her.

"Hmm yea" she sings as she gets up "i'll go to bed now too"

"Oh, hey, i have an idea" lia speaks up when standing in your doorway "chris has this performance thingy in two days, you should totally come!" she offers enthusiastically.

"he has a band?" you ask, partly to distract her from her offer.

"Hmm not really a band, they're a trio and there is this performance on saturday where a bunch of underground artists perform, i didnt fully listen if im honest" she giggles "but you should come with me!!" she jumps excitedly.

"i dont kno-"

"y/n pleasee? You'd do me a huge favor too because i dont know anyone there" lia pleads, clutchig her hands together.

"you know chris" you rebuttal.

"and what am i supposed to do when he's performing? stand around like an idiot? please y/n" she pouts.

"I dont really think this is my type of crowd..." you scratch your head.

"please please please" she jumps once more.

You sigh and tilt your head as you look at her sternly.

"one of his friends is single" she adds carefully.

"and cute" she sings "from what ive seen in pictures" she adds.

"lia" you groan.

"I'll do your laundry for two weeks if you come with me"

"you will?" Your head snaps towards her.

"yes i will! i promise, just come with me, please?"

A long sigh leaves your lips "okay"

-

The strong bass of the loud music rings in your chest as soon as you step foot into the club where “3racha” is supposed to be performing tonight.

Lia comes to a halt and you almost run into her because you were to busy checking out the venue and the other people around you.

“sorry” you mumble and hold onto her arm to avoid getting lost in the crowd.

She pulls out her phone and clicks on her and hers and chris’s chat, to figure out where to meet them, you assume.

“okay” lia puts her phone back into her jeans pocket and grabs your hand “they’re backstage, lets go”

“can we just go there?” you almost yell for her to understand what you’re saying.

“yea! Chris said he’ll make sure we’ll get in, come on” she tugs at your hand for you to walk faster.

You waddle behind her, barely dodging some drunk guys beer that goes flying before you arrive at the sign that says “artists only” and a black curtain behind it.

The guy standing infront of it raises a brow at the two of you before pointing at said sign “read ladies, no fans allowed”

“hey, they’re with me” a guy, you assume to be chris, taps on his shoulder and shows his artists badge, half of his body still covered by the curtain.

The bigger guy sighs and lets you through.

“thank you” lia lets go of your hand to loop her arms around chris’s neck once behind the curtain, they kiss and you look around.

Not because you are particularly uncomfortable, maybe still just a little bitter at happy couples.

You audibly clear your throat when they are still making out after a good ten seconds.

“oh-uhm” lia looks back at you after breaking the kiss “chris, this is y/n, y/n, chris” she giggles.

“hi y/n, nice to meet you” he gives you a quick hug and a smile full of dimples, finally understanding why your roommate is always swooning about him.

“hi” you smile back, somewhat forced.

“lets go to our dressingroom” chris suggests and leads the way.

Opening the door, he lets you and lia walk in first.

One guy is dancing around in the middle of the room, singing along to the current song that’s being played in the background with a water bottle as a pretend mic.

Another is one sitting on the small couch and laughing at him.

“oh, hi” the guy stops singing and quickly hides the bottle behind himself at which chris chuckles.

“guys, this is lia and y/n” chris points at the two of you before closing the door behind him.

“ooo the lia?” the waterbottle guy wiggles his eyebrows, at which you cant help but laugh as well, he isn’t very tall but looks lean.

“what is the lia supposed to mean?” lia laughs when chris comes up and slings an arm around her waist from behind her.

“I..well-I talk about you sometimes-“

“sometimes my ass” the guy sitting on the couch scoffs amusedly, your eyes shift to him.

He’s wearing a white baseball cap and a pretty tight fitted black Versace shirt, making his shoulders and arms look broad.

His hands clad in black half-gloves, he adjusts his cap before locking eyes with you and quickly looking down again.

“channie hyung must’ve forgotten his manners, I’m jisung” the waterbottle guy speaks up “and that’s changbin hyung” he points at the most intimidating-looking of the three of them, on the couch.

“channie?” lia squeals as she sits down with chris on the couch changbin is sitting on as well, jisung coming up to you.

“hey, you want something to drink?” he asks, pointing at the mini bar feigning cockiness  “we have a mini bar”

“woow” you chuckle, playing along “sure I’d love a drink”

“how come we’ve never met on campus before?” jisung asks after mixing you a vodka soda and sitting down on the second couch in the room.

“oh, you all go to uni here as well?” you ask surprisedly as you sit down next to him..

“yea” he grins “that’s how we all met” he points at lia and chris almost sitting on top of each other “and those two”

“oh I didn’t even know that” you take a sip, trying to loosen up “I guess I wasn’t listening when she was ranting on about him”

Jisung laughs and changbin joins the two of you as he sits down next to jisung.

“they just started calling each other bubs I feel like throwing up” changbin groans as he drinks from his beer.

You huff before jisung speaks again, looking from his friend back to you “he’s usually more romantic” he quips.

“I bet” you joke with him.

“yup” changbin locks eyes with you “that’s why I’m single, I’m just too romantic” he shakes his head sarcastically.

“ooh” you squint your eyes “emotional unavailability? love that in a man” you grin, at which his eyebrow quirks up amusedly.

“speaking of man, did minho hyung text you when he’d be here?” jisung asks his friend.

“yea he said he’ll be here in 5 and that you should finally buy a new phone” changbin answers, reading it from his phone at which jisung scoffs before turning to you.

“minho is my boyfriend” he explains “he’s hot” he grins at which you laugh “I bet”

“so, y/n, do you have a boyfriend?” jisung asks after taking a sip of his drink

“not anymore” you scoff, jisung inhales excitedly “guess what, changbin is single as well” he grins from ear to ear, comically looking back and forth between you two.

“oh, please dont start like lia��� you chuckle, leaning forwards to lock eyes with changbin “no offense, but I only attract assholes”

He shakes his head, amusedly raising his brows “none taken” he grins at which you huff before a young woman comes into their dressing room to tell them they’re up next.

-

Back in the crowd, you and lia find a good place just as the lights dim and the music begins to play.

Suddenly you feel someone run into your side “woah I’m sorry” he quickly apologizes “this guy pushed me” he looks behind him.

“its alright” you nod, loud enough for him to hear.

Once they come outside, the crowd goes wild.

“jisungieee” the guy next to you all over sudden screams, you have to smile when looking at him.

“are you minho by any chance?” you ask him.

He nods aggressively “yea! do you know jisung?”

“I just met him backstage” you yell over the loud bass.

Minho laughs and nods before the bass drops and chris starts the first verse.

“he’s great right?” lia screams into your ear when the first chorus ends.

“yea” you nod, actually surprised at how good their music is, now understanding as to why the crowd loves them so much.

Changbin starts his verse and suddenly you feel somewhat entranced, his voice is rough and his bars are hard, definitely fitting his appearance but what entices you is the passion with which he appears to be performing.

Throughout their whole performance you cant take your eyes off him, the way his arms flex when he grips onto the microphone a little harder or the way his jugular sticks out when he growls into the microphone.

Not to mention the thighs you somehow didn’t notice in their dressing room, you watch them strain against his leather pants and feel even hotter suddenly.

Their last song ends and lia is quick to be in your ear about going backstage to chris again.

“oh you know chan hyung?” minho overhears and chimes in.

“yea she’s his date” you point at your overly excited roommate.

“changbin just texted and said they’re upstairs in the vip lounge, come with me” the brunette holds out his hand for you to take, which you do and grab lia with the other one.

“do you know where you’re going?” you ask minho after a minute of pressing yourself along sweaty dancing bodies.

“yea! they’re here a lot” he yells back “its right over there” he points to a flight of stairs where yet another bouncer is standing in front of.

“hey minho” the bouncer greats him with a fist bump “these girls are with you?” he points at lia and you.

“yea” he nods.

“trying something new, I see” he laughs atw hich you frown.

“oh, nono” minho chuckles uncomfortably “I’m still with jisung”

“ah-alright well, have fun” the bouncer moves after looking you all up and down, letting you walk up the stairs.

“wow, you’re famous” lia giggles at which minho huffs and shakes his head amusedly “yea, for being the only non-straight person they know”

“baby” you see jisung jump up from his seat in the spacious lounge as soon as you enter.

“hii” minho holds out his arms for him to run into, you cant stop yourself from smiling when you see jisung jump into his boyfriends arms.

“lia, y/n come over here” chris waves at the two of you.

“you were so good, baby” you hear minho praise jisung behind you as you walk over to the large round sitting booth where chan and changbin are sitting.

Lia slides into the booth and cuddles into chans side “you were awesome” she squeals as you sit down on the other end and grab a fresh glass from the middle of the round table, holding it next to changbins where he’s pouring cherry vodka into.

“can i get some?” you ask, he glances at you and smirks before silently filling your glass with a  double shots worth of the slightly rosy liquid.

“so, how did you like it?” he asks as he leans back, taking a swing of his drink.

“you guys were really good” you nod “to be honest I didn’t expect such high quality music”

He laughs, leaning his head back a little, his adams apple bopping with it.

You cant help but notice the sheer sheen of sweat that expands over his thick neck, obviously coming from their escapades on stage just now.

“what did you expect? a bunch of drunks playing wonderwall on the guitar for more drunks?” he grins, straight white teeth on display.

“hey, don’t come for wonderwall” you raise your hand jokingly at which he laughs.

“I wouldn’t dare” he raises his hands comically.

“hey” you whip your head around to see jisung and minho “scoot, please” jisung speaks again.

“oh-yea” you grab your drink and scoot further into the half circle-shaped booth.

“so what do you study?” changbin asks, his voice catches you off guard because you hadn’t calculated how close you’re sitting to him.

You turn to him to realise you’re close enough to smell his perfume and aftershave.

“uh- I- art” you answer shakily before taking a sip of your drink just to pull a face afterwards.

“jesus christ” you cough a little and hold your chest as changbin laughs.

“its stronger than you’d think” he grins “can you handle it?” he teases when your eyes get a little watery.

You stare at him for a second before playfully rolling your eyes “im good” 

His eyes trace over your face as you look around before he breaks the silence ”i can get you something else if you want” he offers.

“oh-uh no, I’m just being dramatic its fine” you chuckle.

“so...what do you study?” you change the topic.

“I’m majoring in music” he says, stretching out his arms over the backrest “all three of us are”

“oh, so you like, produce all your own stuff?” you ask, your eyes jumping to where his forearm touches your shoulder, that’s leaning against the backrest.

“yea, channie hyung composes the most, me and ji write a lot” he explains,

“thats really cool” you nod, looking over to the mentioned guy.

Changbin follows your eyes and huffs when the both of you see him and your roommate sucking face again.

After a few seconds they stop and giggle before standing up to go somewhere.

“where are they going?” you huff.

“I guess they want some alone time” he chuckles, lifting the arm close to you to take off the cap he’s still wearing.

You flinch when his forearm brushes your shoulder.

“are you scared of me?” he asks slowly, stopping his movements, cap still in hand.

“no- no” you shake your head, chuckling “I- its just been a while since I’ve gone out and I don’t know” you shrug “I feel a little lost”

“hm” changbin cocks his brow at your words, running one hand through his dark brown locks.

You divert your eyes from his bulging bicep back to his face quickly when he speaks again.

“any reason why?” he leans back again.

“oh, just a shitty ex and a shitty breakup” you shrug “I’m gonna spare you the details”

“aw, no please, tell me he had a small dick and everything, now im invested” he jokes.

You tsk at him and push his arm playfully, feigning annoyance.

“that still doesn’t answer my question as to why you jumped like that when my arm touched you” changbin raises his brows expectantly.

You open your mouth to speak but-

“we’ll go get some more to drink” minho interrupts you at which changbin nods.

“so?” he asks again, once minho and jisung leave.

“did that ex hit you? give me his address I’ll beat him up for you” changbin deadpans.

“no” you shake your head after taking another sip “he didn’t” you huff incredulously.

“its just- you look kinda scary” you blurt out finally.

His eyes widen before he falls into a boyish laughter, which you cant help but join.

“me?” he points at himself before laughing again, the image you had made up in your mind about him cracking.

“yea!” you raise your brows “when you look like this” you furrow your brows and lightly squint your eyes to mimic his resting bitch face.

“what the-” he splutters laughingly.

“stoop, don’t laugh” you hold onto his forearm, still giggling yourself.

He calms himself, subconsciously scooting closer to you in the now empty booth.

“maybe scary wasn’t the right word” you snicker, looking down.

“I think the word you were looking for was: sexy, hot or mysterious, maybe handsome-” he quips, grinning to himself when you start laughing again.

“no, no, I know what I meant” you joke back, just now noticing how close he is, his knee touching yours as his whole torso is turned to you.

“so none of my suggestions are accurate?” he cheekily raises one brow at which you scoff playfully.

“maybe one or two” you see his eyes jump to your lips.

The air suddenly feels thick around you with tension, changbins tongue darting out to wet his plump bottom lip while his eyes are still locked on yours.

You breathe in before the two of you lock eyes again "so…are you gonna kiss me, or just stare?"

He raises his brows at your sudden boost of confidence, grinning amusedly.

"what happened to me being scary?" he counters before urging you to swing one leg over his thighs with gentle hands.

You take a seat on his lap, straddling his thick thighs before looping your arms around his neck "i dont know, i think i'm into it" you quip.

His hands wander up your waist "well then i wont make you wait any longer" he grins, looking at your lips one last time before closing the gap inbetween you two.

You meet him in the middle, changbins grip on your waist tightens when his plush lips land on yours.

He pulls you closer to him, pushing his tongue past the seam of your lips.

You can taste the cherry vodka on his tongue but it riles you up even more, sucking at the wet muscle before his hands wander over the swell of your ass and each grab a handful of the flesh; your short skirt riding up when you subconsciously grind against his lap.

“be careful” he mumbles against your lips, gently tugging down the piece of fabric so you don’t expose yourself to bywalkers.

“where’s the fun in that?” you cock your head to the side teasingly.

Changbin scoffs and leans in again but you get interrupted by jisung.

“hey, we-oh” you whip your head around.

Jisungs frown turns into a grin “uh” he chuckles “we dont mean to interrupt but chan hyung texted minho and they’re going to your place” he points at you.

“ugh, seriously?” you mutter.

“I’m sleeping at minhos so, hyung you’ll have our place to yourself” he winks at changbin.

“so, we’re out too, have fun you guys” minho waves teasingly as jisung drags him away.

For a second you stare after them, until a gentle squeeze at your waist makes you turn around again.

“you could come over to my place if you don’t want to go to yours right now” he offers, eyes flickering to your lips when you bite at your lower one.

-

This is usually like not you, letting some guy you barely know take you home.

But here you are the next morning, looking up at the ceiling, changbins room flooded with daylight.

You sit up and look at the still unconscious changbin next to you. His blanket had fallen down and exposes his toned torso, barely covering his private parts.

A tingle forms in your lower abdomen when you think of what happened here a few hours ago.

But you pull yourself together and start looking around for your clothes.

You spot your bra on his desk and your skirt and shoes on the floor, gently shimmying out from underneath the blanket; you grab your skirt and slide it on without your panties, not being able to find them anywhere.

Right as you clasp your bra behind your back, changbins morning voice makes you flinch “you would’ve just snuck out?” he grumbles, rubbing his eyes as you look back at him.

“what? did you take me for a breakfast lover?” you quip as you slide into your shoes, looking around for your shirt.

“damn, that’s cold” he chuckles lowly, sitting up and watching you stride around his room.

“where did you put my shirt?” you ask, bending down to look under his desk.

“maybe you should worry about your panties first” he snickers, eyes glued to your core when you look back at him.

You kiss your teeth and straighten up quickly, having forgotten about your lack of underwear.

“not that that wasn’t a great view just now-“

“you’re not helping” you interrupt him, eyes lighting up when you spot your shirt in the hallway.

“why so serious all over sudden?” he grins “last night you were everything but tense”

You scoff as you pull your shirt over your head and stuff it into your skirt before grabbing your purse and phone.

“I have an exam in 2 days and I haven’t studied yet” you exhale.

“I could drive you home-“ he runs a hand through his messy hair.

“I’ll call a cab, uhm- thanks for last night” you hurriedly smile before walking out.

“bye” changbin calls after you, frowning and dropping back down onto his bed when he hears the door shut behind you “have a nice day I guess” he mumbles to himself.

 October

You cling your jacket closer to your body as you walk through the howling wind the seasonal change had brought with it.

When you arrive at lias faculty building you take out your phone to see if she texted you about when her lecture would be over.

lia : hey babe, chris took me to his place -received at 4:17 pm

You roll your eyes, typical you think.

you : are you serious? you begged me to walk home with you -sent at 4:25 pm

You see her the little blue bubble pop up, indicating that she’s writing a message.

lia : im sorry!! please don’t be mad, he surprised me :((( -received at 4:25 pm

You scoff and turn off your phone before slipping it in your coats pocket alongside your hands. Typical, you think, ever since that night at the club the two of them have become inseparable and lia cancelling on you had become a regular thing. You are happy for her but you also miss your friend.

“y/n?” a familiar voice calls after you right as you start to walk away, you freeze and turn around.

“yea?- oh” you swallow harshly when you see changbin walk your way.

“hey” he smiles brightly and you have to bite back a grin at the cute beanie he’s sporting alongside his slightly red nose due to the cold weather.

“hi” you smile timidly.

“you never texted” he tilts his head at which you nod.

“yea, sorry I actually never got your number” you look at the ground “uh- what are you doing here?”

“oh um im on my way to the studio” he points at a nearby building “that’s the music faculty”

“ah okay, well” you lock eyes “have fun then” you turn around again, ready to walk away.

“hey” he catches up with you “you wanna join me? check out some of our new stuff?” he burries his hands in the front pockets of his jeans.

“I don’t know, changbin I really don’t want to date right now-“ you start at which he chuckles.

“I didn’t ask you to marry me” he stops in his tracks, grinning when you do as well, locking eyes “come on, I just need an unbiased opinion on some new tracks” he tilts his head.

You inhale before looking around you “I could drive you home after? So you don’t have to walk through this weather?” he offers, raising his brows at which you purse your lips.

“alright” you give in, changbin smiles and extends his elbow for you to hold.

You simper and coyly hook your hand around his arm as the two of you start walking.

-

“this is awesome!” you point to his laptop a minute after he played the first song for you.

Changbin grins bashfully and leans back into his desk chair “you think?”

“yea, the hook is super catchy” you bob your head as his eyes fix on your profile “you’re really talented, changbin” you catch him blushing before putting on another song.

After a few other songs, he takes off his headphones when you take off yours.

“can I ask you something?” he asks, you glance at him.

“you just did” you quip at which he huffs, “sure” you nod.

“how much of that night do you remember?” he fiddles with one of the rings on his left hand.

“why?” you ask back.

“well, you seemed really upset the next morning so I got kind of scared that you didn’t actually want it and I kind of took advantage of you” he recalls the night the two of you spent together.

“oh, no. you didn’t take advantage of me, I wasn’t even  drunk and I would’ve told you if I had changed my mind or something. That was just the first time I ever spent the night at a guys house for a one night stand” you absently pick off some fuzzies from your jeans.

“plus I had just come out of a relationship so I was a little too emotional anyways” you chuckle.

“alright” changbin nods “just wanted to make sure” he smiles down at his hands “cause I remember all of it”

You whip your head, scoffing when you see him with a shit eating grin on his face.

“hm” you feign ignorance as you lean back “I don’t know, there wasn’t a lot to remember” you grin mischievously.

He laughs out loud, leaning forwards “no?”

You shake your head, pursing your lips comically “nah”

“cause I remember you shaking and screaming” he grins.

You shrug your shoulders “weird, must’ve faked it” you deadpan, fiddling with the headphones you’re still holding.

Changbins tongue prods on the inside of his cheek, huffing when he catches you grinning.

“right” he grins slumping into his seat a little further.

A thought flashes in your head when your gaze drops to his crotch and thick thighs, you swallow some spit in frustration as you feel your core getting hotter.

He was right, the night was amazing, maybe that was even part of the reason you stormed out the way you did.

You clench your thighs for some relief, anything really.

“want me to refresh your memory?” your eyes jump up to meet his, you open your mouth but nothing comes out; do you want him to?

Yes. Yes you do.

So, you get up and straddle him on his chair: his hands instantly gripping at your hips, pulling you closer.

“someones eager” he grins, pushing some of your hair behind your ear.

“shut up” you whisper before crashing your lips onto his.

Changbin groans when you tug at his hair, inviting you to slip your tongue in between his lips and grind your hips over his crotch.

He hisses before propping himself up on one armrest and holding your lower back with the other as he stands up; you squeal but he holds you before sitting you back down on the desk, next to his laptop.

“now who’s eager” you grin when his hands find the waistband of your leggings and tug them down with your panties in one.

He huffs as he bunches your leggings and panties around your ankles before slipping underneath the fabric barrier and inbetween your legs.

“by the looks of it..” he runs a finger through your wet folds “still you” he quips before pushing one finger in without warning.

You moan, you head dropping back onto the hard wooden surface.

“look at me” changbin orders as a second finger prods at your entrance, you whimper but prop yourself up on your elbows.

He curls the two fingers and pumps them almost violently, the palm of his hand smacking your clit with every pump.

“oh god-“ you yelp, your eyes scrunching together as your hips buck up.

“its changbin but god is fine too” he quips as he lowers his head, you curse at him, even though you have to laugh a little.

“you’re so annoy-ah!” you cry out because suddenly his tongue is lapping over your swollen clit, sucking on it forcefully when you claw one hand into his already messed up dark locks.

“fuck-bin- gonna cum” your hips stutter and you feel the pleasure that’s blooming in your tummy is getting ready to snap.

“mmh” he humms against you “cum then, baby” he moans, knowing full well what the added vibrations are doing to your body when your chest arches and your mouth drops open.

Your cries fill the studio as you clamp down on his fingers; he rides your through your high, holding down your hips with his unoccupied hand because you squirm with the euphoria that’s filling your veins.

“good girl” he mumbles, removing his fingers from you before bringing them up to your lips “now, suck them clean for me, yea?” he grins, lips and chin shiny with your cum.

-

“finally” you huff when arriving at 3rachas lounge in a club out of town; where they had just performed “this club is huge” you breathe, jisung scooting and changbin letting you squeeze past him to take a seat in between them as they chuckle.

Lia and chan already lost in their own world again as she drags him to the dancefloor, squealing when chan teasingly squeezes her sides as they disappear into the crowd.

“they are made for each other” minho sighs, sitting down and giving jisung the second beer from his hands.

“I know right” you lean back, breathing in.

“you’re still out of breath?” changbin laughs at you at which you hit his arm.

“stop it, oh my god” you feign annoyance “you know how exhausting it is to dodge beer bottles and not loose lia? she’s like a Chihuahua, I swear, you loose her once and its over” you chuckle, jisung and minho laughing too.

“you just don’t have any endurance, woman” changbin grins teasingly.

“that’s so not true” you laugh incredulously “what about two nights ago-“

“AH-“ jisung interrupts you, placing his hands over his ears “please spare us your sex stories, I hear enough of that when you’re over, babe”

You huff and changbins cheeks turn red.

“you guys are fucking?” minho asks, eyebrows raised as he takes a swing of his beer.

“good job keeping up, baby” jisung pats his boyfriends thigh teasingly at which he tsks at him.

“are you together or what?” minho props his elbow on the table to support his chin with his hand as he looks at the two of you expectantly.

“no, we’re not” you chuckle somewhat uncomfortably before looking over at changbin who just grins awkwardly.

“just here to be a good friend and keep the groupies away” you joke “right?” you nudge changbin with your elbow at which he nods swiftly, looking down again.

“yea, baby don’t be so old fashioned” jisung teases his boyfriend who just rolls his eyes playfully.

“speaking of groupies” minho mutters, spotting a group of girls just before they approach the lounge.

“hey jisungie, you wanna dance?” a pretty blonde girl bats her eyelashes as she leans down a bit to expose more of her cleavage, making jisung grin.

“baby, you’re gorgeous but I’m very gay” he nods apologetically, “Oh” she straightens up “really? You sure?”

You and changbin have to bite back a laugh when jisung nods again “very sure, thanks though, for coming”

She shrugs and looks at changbin “what about you? Wanna dance?”

“uh-“ changbin starts but you cut him off “he’s with me actually” you tilt your head.

“for real?” she stems her hands into her hips as she looks back at her posse, scoffing.

“yea” changbin loops his strong arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him “that’s my girl, so a little respect, please”

“aww” you coo dramatically as you play along, putting your hand on his jaw to turn his head towards you before you lock lips.

“whatever” you faintly hear the girls voice get quieter when changbin slips his tongue in between your lips.

“they’re gone” you hear minho but changbin pulls your legs to dangle over one of his thighs as he grips your waist.

“guys” jisungs voice only registers in the back of your head when changbin sucks at your bottom lip and you run your fingers through the hair on the back of his head.

“can I get you some more beers?” the waitresses voice pulls the both of you out of your trance as you break the kiss abruptly.

Jisung laughs, shaking his head at the both of you before turning to the waitress “we’ll take a round of shots I think”

  November

 “fuck-harder” you gasp “..mhh binnie-shit” you moan while changbin pounds into you from behind, gripping your hip tighter with one of his hands; the other one migrating up your back to gather the legth of your hair, twisting them before he pulls at their root.

You groan when you feel your hair getting pulled back, neck stretching as he picks up his pace.

“like this? fuck you love this don’t you?” he breaths ragged, but you can hear the dirty smirk that lingers on his lips every time you have rough sex..

You moan out loudly when he releases your hair and pushes your torso down onto the mattress, your hand pulling at the sheets , needing something to grip and release the pleasure.

“fuck- answer me, slut” he grunts and delivers a harsh slap to your ass.

You cry out “yes-yes-fuck-love it” you desperately gasp as he leans down to you, earning a low chuckle which sends shivers down your back.

His lips latch onto your shoulder blade and start sucking on the skin until a purple mark blooms under his lips.

“fuck” you let out a strangled yell when the hand on your hip makes its way to your front and he started circling your clit with his fingers, the pace and firmness matching his thrusts.

You cry out for him as you clench furiously around his cock “that’s a good girl” he whispers, only letting go of your clit when you flinch in overstimulation.

“cum for me- fuck baby, cum for me and let the others know who’s fucking you this good” he rasps in your ear. Not 5 seconds later, your orgasm ripples through you and you would’ve collapsed completely if he wasn’t holding you up.

You’re still panting when both of his hands go back on your hips and push them down, laying you flat on the mattress before he picks up his pace again with his last left strength to reach his own high.

“shit- y/n“ he grunts when you tighten around him again and you feel him filling the condom with some drawn out groans and a sharp hiss.

After a few seconds of nothing but heavy breathing filling the room, he pulls out and falls next to you on his bed.

You wince at the soreness that’s already presenting itself when you turn around on your back, looking over to him; you watch as he ties a knot in the condom and throws it into the trash next to his desk.

“kobe!” he exclaims gleefully at his perfect throw before looking back at you to see if you saw.

“jesus christ why am I sleeping with you” you hold your hands over your face, hating the fact that it made you laugh.

He gasps, feigning to be offended “that’s not how you speak to the guy that just made you cum three times”

“you are so full of yourself, seo changbin” you shake your head amusedly as you sit up.

“wait, I’ll clean you up” changbin is quick to rise from his comfortable position to grab some tissues from his nightstand.

“come here” he mumbles, gently urging you to lie back down before carefully wiping your own cum off your inner thighs and mound.

You watch him as he gently moves to wipe the tissue over your puffy folds, your hips jumping a little when he accidentally passes your clit.

“sorry” he grins, pressing a kiss to your angled knee; at which you feel your heart lurch forward a bit.

Woah, wait.

You’ve been seeing changbin just for sex for almost two months now, you’ve even gone with him other performances and after parties to keep groupies away and be his arm candy and never has your heart done this.

Mayday. Abort mission.

“should be good for now” changbin shrugs, shooting you a sweet smile before turning away from you to also get rid of the tissues.

You use the opportunity to shuffle to the side of his bed and slip on your panties before grabbing your bra.

“hey, you wanna leave already?” changbin asks “I thought we could hang” he tucks his hand under his head as you look back at him, clipping your bra closed “watch a movie or something”

“sorry, I promised lia I’d help her clean the apartment today” you lie, surprisingly quick, before pulling your hoodie over your head.

“so you’re just gonna fuck me and leave again?” he jokes dramatically “I don’t even get cuddles?”

“shut up” you chuckle.

“am I nothing more to you than a pretty piece of meat?” he continues as you slip into your jeans, rolling your eyes playfully.

“a toy you use when you need stress relief??” he holds his chest dramatically.

You step into your shoes and raise your brows at him.

“are you complaining?” you ask playfully.

“nahh” he pulls his covers over his abs as he watches you grab your jacket from his desk chair.

"At least give me a 'gopdbye, thanks for the bomb dick, kiss" He grins when you scoff at him. So, you lean over him and press a quick peck to his lips; he whines playfully when you lean back up again, sitting up and catching your lips with his roughly once more.

“alright, see ya” you shrug."

And shit, your heart does it again. What are you doing?

You break the kiss and ruffle through his hair.

“ugh” he huffs annoyedly, fixing his hair “I hope you have trouble walking” he quips as you go for the door.

“I’ll text you if I don’t” you wink at him before closing his door, leaning against it from the outside and closing your eyes.

“fuck” you whisper to yourself before making your way through the guys apartment.

“don’t break his heart, y/n” minhos voie comes from behind as you twist the doorknob.

“huh?” you trun around to look at him, he’s wearing a shirt that you know to be jisungs so he must be staying over.

“I’ve known changbin for a while, he seems tough but he’s a softie deep down” he crosses his arms over his chest “he hurts easier than you think”

“we- we’re both not in this for anything serious” you stammer “what do you mean?”

“I see the way he looks at you, y/n” minho smiles softly “I’m not telling you how to live your life, just, be honest with him… and yourself for that matter” he quirks one brow up, smiling before disappearing around the corner.

 -

 You squint your eyes as you’re trying to make out the label of the cereal boxes in the upper shelves, looking back at your phone you check to see what brand lia had texted you about so you don’t accidentally buy the wrong thing.

“fuck” you mumble when you see her desired cereal at the top of the shelf, so you reach up but to no avail.

“y/n?” you lower your heels to the floor again before turning around to see…

“hyunjin?” you face drops in awe.

“hey!” the tall young man smiles widely, opening his arms and inviting you to a hug.

“wow, hi” you hug him back.

Damn, what happened to him? The last time you saw him was before he moved away in 10th grade.

You used to be good friends with him, or, well, the freakishly skinny and lanky highschool version of him you met in dance class.

By the feel of it, even through the trenchcoat he’s wearing, you can tell he’s bulked up quite a bit.

After letting go of him, you cant help but stare.

His acne had cleared up and his brown hair is chin length with the top parts pulled back into a little pony tail, leaving some face framing strands in the front.

“wow- you look-“ you blink a few times to make sure you’re not dreaming “…really good, hyunjin”

He smiles on the ground, his pretty plump lips parting to reveal beautiful pearly whites which used to be covered by braces.

“so do you” he grins.

“no- I mean you look… good-good” you splutter, laughing awkwardly “like what are you a model now or something?”

“actually, yea- part time” he chuckles.

“oh” you huff  “wow of course” you shake your head laughingly, blushing furiously when he doesn’t break eye contact.

“so- uhm” you gulp, making him grin even wider “what are you doing here?”

“I’m transferring here” he nods “better dance programme” he explains shortly.

“oh you still dance” you observe out loud “I haven’t danced in a while” you look down.

“you should come by after practice sometime” he offers “to catch up- or dance if you want” he giggles, a little dimple appearing on his left cheek.

“yea, I’d love that” you smile, nodding before he takes out his phone.

“put in your number, I’ll text you” he smiles softly when holding it out to you.

“mhm” you agree, saving your number in his phone and trying not to think about him staring at you the whole time.

“alright well” he checks his phone for the time, you guess “I gotta get going, only came here for this” he chuckles, holding up a carton of milk that you, weirdly enough, haven’t noticed until now.

“alright” you nod before he moves in for a hug again.

“bye” he smiles when loosening his arms again.

“bye” you mumble, staring at the back of his perfect head as he walks away.

You were about to pull out your phone and rant to lia about what just happened, when he stops in his tracks and turns around.

“almost forgot” he grins, reaching up and getting your cereal from the top shelf; winking when he places it in your hands, your body freezing.

“bye” he grins, walking away before you could thank him.

-

 You had taken hyunjin up on his offer and met him in the dance studio after class where he showed you some of his contemporary pieces before you made your way to the popular coffee shop on campus together.

“-no seriously the second piece was my favourite I think, but they were all amazing!” you smile up at him at which he shakes his head cutely.

“can you stop complimenting me, y/n I’m getting all nervous” he laughs softly.

“oh please” you quip “with your talent and looks I would think nothing could make you nervous” you roll your eyes playfully.

Hyunjin huffs, opening the coffee shops door for you “you can” he says softly as you walk past him, you turn around to him to see him blush a litte but diverting his eyes to the big menu above the counter.

Did he just flirt with you? No, you must be tripping.

You look around to see only two other people sitting in one of the booths together, the cold must keep most people home, you think before hyunjin gently pulls at your sleeve to get your attention.

“what do you want?” he asks, the barista looking at you expectantly.

“uhm- a hot chocolate please” you say, reaching in your purse to get your wallet.

“I’ll take the same” hyunjin smiles politely, giving the barista money.

“on me” he smiles down at you.

“oh, thank you” you smile sheepishly, letting go of your purse again.

Once your hot chocolates are ready, you sit down in one of the booths, hyunjin sliding in to sit across from you.

“I was back home last week before I came here, you’ll never guess who I met” hyunjin grins.

“who?” you ask curiously.

“tim” he grins.

“tim?” your eyes almost pop out of your head “as in my first boyfriend tim?” you laugh, holding your hand to your face incredulously.

“but he moved away as well?” you half ask.

“yea he said he was visiting his grandparents, but guess the best part” hyunjin bites his lip

“what?” you chuckle.

“he got a nose job” hyunjin bites back a laugh when you gasp surprisedly “really?”

“one word” hyunjin says “botched…”

“aw no, poor tim” you frown, looking down at your hot drink as memories from back in the day come back to you.

“he always used to put his hand up my shirt when hugging” you frown, making hyunjin laugh.

“it was 9th grade y/n what did you expect?” you scoff at his rethorical question.

“I don’t know, some basic manners maybe?” you counter playfully…slowly letting the conversation die down as you both take sips from your cocoa.

“how come we never dated?” he asks softly after aminute of silence, looking up at you.

“we were friends?” you chuckle awkwardly.

“come on” hyunjin sits back in his booth “you must’ve known I had the biggest crush on you”

“you did?” you almost launch forwards in your seat, making hyunjin laugh.

“well, I guess you didn’t know then” he giggles, hiding his face in his hands embarrassedly.

“anyways, I would’ve paid good money to be able to slip my hand up your shirt” he jokes, cheeks reddening when you laugh.

“I honestly liked you a lot back then” you say “if you would’ve said something we might’ve actually gone out” you shrug gently.

“damn, way to rub that in my face” hyunjin grins.

You hold his eye contact for a few seconds before you feel your blood rushing to your cheeks again, quickly lifting up your mug to take a sip and partly cover your face.

When you put your mug back down, hyunjin grins widely, mumbling a “cute” before slowly bringing his hand to your chin and gently swiping his thumb over your top lip where a foam mustache had formed.

You gulp when he swiftly sucks the foam off his thumb, your eyes darting from his eyes to his lips.

When he notices, he leans over, slowly as if scared to overwhelm you.

That’s when minhos words pop up in the back of your head.

“be honest with him, and yourself for that matter”

But you aren’t together, and hyunjin is great and you want to kiss him but you know it would be wrong.

However, before you know it his lips are on yours and you’re not doing anything to stop him.

They are soft and inviting and you let him swipe his tongue over the seam of your lips, but then the little doorbell rings and you hear lias voice, followed by a male one before they abruptly stop, making you pull away abruptly.

Oh.

There they are, lia, chan, jisung and changbin; looking at you.

“y/n” lia grins widely, approaching your table “aren’t you gonna introduce us?” she squeals, hyunjin clears his throat and sits back down.

The three guys hesitantly follow lia when-

“woah- hyunjin?” chan speaks up.

“chan-hyung?” hyunjin gets up from his place to receive a hug from the older one as your eyes divert to changbin who is looking at the ground.

You aren’t together. Then why do you feel so guilty and why does he look so disappointed.

“he’s cute, girl” jisung grinningly interrupts your daydreaming, nodding towards chan and hyunjin who are still talking.

You force out a smile.

“how do you two know each other?” lia asks curiously.

“he went to my highschool, the last few years” chan grins.

“what a coincidence” you mumble, almost ironically.

“I went to highschool with y/n too, the first couple years though, then I moved away” hyunjin explains “oh, im sorry, I’m hyunjin by the way” he turns to jisung and changbin.

“I’m jisung, this is changbin” jisung smiles, pointing at his grumpy friend.

“I’m lia” lia grins “his girlfriend and her best friend” she points at chan before snuggling up to you, giggling.

Jesus, woman where do you get the energy? Is what you want to ask but you just flash another forced smile, hoping this moment will pass quickly.

“where were you guys?” you change the topic, hoping changbin would maybe look at you if you spoke up.

“oh, I caught them all huddled up in the studio” lia grins “they probably haven’t been outside in a week again” she giggles.

“true” jisung quips.

“hey lets all sit down” hyunjin suggests.

“I’ll get a coffee” changbin mumbles, walking back to the counter.

You usher lia to make way for you to get out of the booth, following him.

“bin” you stand next to him as he looks up at the menu but he ignores you.

“you could at least acknowledge my presence, your highness” you quip annoyedly.

“what do you want me to say, y/n?” he mutters.

“I didn’t know this would happen with him or I would’ve told you” you say, looking back at the other four talking and laughing in the booth.

“we’re not together y/n, you’ve made that very clear; if you wanna kiss lord farquaad go ahead, I’m not stopping you” he looks over to the booth as well.

“jesus christ” you huff “why are you so defensive then?”

“hi” changbin greets the barista who just came from the back “I’ll have an iced coffee to go, please” he orders.

“the world doesn’t revolve around you y/n, maybe I’m having a bad day” he answers when the barista makes his way to the coffee machines, you feel a lump from in your throat.

“yea, well thanks for making mine bad as well” you turn on your heels to join the others, hyunjin sees you coming back and scooches to make some space for you next to him.

You smile and thank him quietly when he also gives you your mug.

“everything alright?” he asks quietly, as to not disturb the others conversation.

“yea, just had to ask him some stuff” you smile at which he smiles back, turning back to the others.

After a minute changbin approaches the booth with his iced coffee “hey, I’ll run back to the studio I gotta finish that track”

“ugh, changbin I just dragged you out of there, stay for a second” lia protests and jisung nods along.

“nah, gotta get it done tonight” he shakes his head.

“alight see you later” chan nods.

“nice to meet you, man” hyunjin says, nodding at him as well.

“yea” changbin answers tight-lipped before walking out.

 December

”I’m sorry, hyunjin” you frown “I’m just not ready for a relationship after what happened with my ex-“

“its alright y/n” his large hand encases yours “you don’t have to explain yourself to me”

You sigh in relief “I’m sorry I tried to rush things, it just, seemed to good to be true to find you here and everything” he says.

“but I’ll wait for you, if that’s what you want” he looks up at you.

“oh, jinnie you shouldn’t have to do that” you shake your head “I’m sure there are great girls out there who are emotionally ready to be with you”

“yea, but you’re the girl I want to be with” he says softly and your heart shatters into pieces because you’re not sure he’s the guy you want to be with.

-

You fight yourself through the crowd at 3rachas last performance of the year, at the same venue where you met them for the first time. Just like the time before, chan makes sure lia, hyunjin, minho and you are able to come backstage.

“I’m excited to see you perform, man” hyunjin grins at chan, patting his shoulder “your stuff was already dope back then…” they continue speaking as you enter their dressing room.

Jisung greets his boyfriend as you and lia sit down on the leather couch.

Changbin is standing in front of the mirror, fixing his hair before his eyes lock with yours through the mirror, but he just diverts them to chan who’s grabbing a beer for hyunjin and himself, you guess.

“did you have to invite him?” changbin semi-whispers to the older one, nodding at hyunjin, chan just frowns confusedly,making changbin shake his head and walk out.

You look at hyunjin who is talking to minho and jisung, and doesn’t seem to have heard changbin. So, you get up to follow him out but lia holds your wrist “y/n you cant keep running after him” she hisses.

“he cant keep treating me like im invisible, I just want to clear the air” you free your arm and walk out to see changbin almost at the end of the corridor, walking out of a heavy door which, you think leads outside.

After reaching the door you open it to find him outside, leaning against the brick wall of the building, looking down at his phone.

The cold air hits your skin and you shiver, only wearing a top and some jeans since its warm in the club.

Changbin notices you and looks up “what do you want, y/n?” he asks.

“that was real classy back there” you comment, holding your arms to your body to preserve some warmth. Changbin huffs, unfazed as he looks back at his phone “whatever, y/n”

“no, not whatever bin” you step closer to him “he asked me to date him” his head shoots up and you lock eyes, for a second they are soft in the way they look into yours but something changes and they turn mean when he speaks again.

“so? that’s a you proplem” he shrugs.

“its not a problem at all, he’s sweet and loving and cares about me but for some reason im standing here, hoping that you’ll give me a reason to not be with him” you feel your throat closing up with anger mixed with confusion when he starts chuckling.

“you’re not serious are you?” he squints and your heart drops, tears pooling at your lashline.

“of course not, I couldn’t expect someone as stubborn and- and comunicationally incompetent like you to understand anything about feelings” you turn on your heels when a teardrop rolls down your cheek.

A hand wraps itself around your wrist, making you turn back “I’ve wanted to be with you since that moment in the club where you kissed me infront of all these girls. It was always you who was stubborn y/n, you never wanted to spend anymore time with me other than fucking” he snaps at you, taking a breather to start another sentence but you cut him off.

“-then why didn’t you say anything?” you ask quietly and he looks down.

“because- fuck” he lets go of your wrist “I didn’t want to scare you away, you in my bed was better than no you at all. But then fucking prince charming appears out of no where and sweeps you off your feet-”

“but I don’t want prince charming I want you” you blurt out, tears now streaming down your face, making him take a step back as his eyes soften.

“then why didn’t you say anything?” a small smile tugs at his lips as he closes the distance between you, gently running his hands up your arms, feeling the goosebumps brought on by the cold.

You huff, looking down and watching one of your teardrops melting a tiny hole into the snow before looking back up “because I’m stubborn and comunicationally incompetent” you sniffle “and stupid apparently” 

A grin spreads over changbins face as his hands cradle your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his thumbs “so, you wanna be stubborn and stupid together?” he whispers, locking eyes with you.

You press your lips together, trying to keep yourself from sobbing even more as you nod.

He chuckles softly ”you can stop crying now, baby” at which you nod beathing in shakily but smiling when he pushes some hair out of your face.

“can you kiss me now please” you sniffle whiningly, huffing in a laugh when he pulls a face.

“i dont know babe, you’re a little snotty right now-” he jokes.

“shut up” you hit him, chuckling when he pulls you even closer by your waist and gently connects his lips with yours.

A soft wind blows through your hair and you loop your arms around his neck even tighter, deepening the kiss at which he moans, holding your waist tighter to his body.

The door creaks open and “are you guys finally together?” minhos voice makes you break the kiss.

“yea” you grin when jisung comes out after his boyfriend.

“nice” he grins, nodding at you.

“yea yea nice, beautiful love whatever, hyung we’re up, lets go” jisung rambles, laughing and running back inside when changbin pretends to hit him, minho shaking his head and following him.

“you’ll watch me yea?” your boyfriend grins at you, taking your hand and planting a kiss on the back of it.

“from the front row, baby”

-

a/n: omg im finally done wth this took me so long yall, i started writing this sin september (which is why the fic starts in september as well lol) sorry about the winterly feelings i’m pushing onto you in the end but last week it literally snowed where i live so i was like uh?!?!?!? okay lets write some snowy shit, global warming ftw i guess....anyways i hope u liked it pls leave some feedback and/or ur favourite part ig lol i would appreciate it alot <33 (not proofred yet oopsie)

---

taglist: @kpopscape​ @oopsie-whats-this​ @zhaqifa​ @synnocence​ @changlix-mp4​ + some besties who always inspire me wether they know it or not😭 @bangtantaegi @hanflix @bruh-changbin @hyunyin @yyxgin @hyunsluvv @unstableskzstan @violethhj @missskzbiased @cartierbin @dom--minnie

[reusedtrashcan]

Jschlatt x reader: Love Game

ALRIGHTY!!! Finally, i have moved my smut from Wattpad to here. if you still use wattpad (i dont cause im an adult now,) you can follow me @reusedtrashcan!

I'm a trans boy, so the reader in this is trans but hasn't transitioned yet. I really want to, but I'm terrified to get it. Anyways, have a boy with titties and a VV.

  !SMUT!

"Y/N, ITS 9AM, CALM DOWN!" my lover, Johnathan Schlatt, shouts from the other room. I giggle quietly as I whisper to my twitch chat.

"I think I woke the bear up... I'll be riight back!" I stand up from my black and white gaming chair, making my way to mine and Schlatt's room, our orange tabby named Jambo following close behind me. I slowly open our door and peak in, seeing my king facing away from the door. I hold back a giggle as I see his medium length brown hair sticking up in tufts. Jambo wanders in, jumping on the bed and laying by his fathers feet.I walk over to the bed, climbing next to him, my 5'6" body body tiny compared to his 6'3" figure. I wrap my arm around his waist and set my head on his arm. "Johnny, I'm lonely... Come stream with me..." I whisper in his ear as I rub his chest and stomach. He groans, rolling over and throwing one arm over my waist, the other traveling up to play with my short blue hair. "Why not cuddle with me instead?" he mumbles tiredly, his morning voice deep and gravely. I giggle. "Because, I'm busy doing my job and streaming for 16k people who are waiting for me to return right now." I whisper sweetly, cupping his face, my hand resting on his 'mutton chop'. I lean forward and kiss him on the nose before standing up and straightening my 'Unus Annus' hoodie. He flips on his back and stretches before placing his hands behind his head, watching me as I fix myself in our full body mirror. "Whatcha' looking at, Punk?" I ask, faking an attitude. He laughs, standing up and walking over to me. He places his large hands on my hips, leaning close to my ear." I was admiring what's ~mine~." he whispers as one of his hands slides to my ass, squeezing it, making me gasp. He turns around and walks to our closet."I'll be out in a minute. Don't miss me too much..." he hums as I turn around, heading out of our room, a blushing mess. I walk back into the streaming room, looking directly at the camera before checking the chat. They are all asking where Johnathan is. "Schlatt will be here soon, he's getting ready so he looks like a pretty princess.'' I say laughing as I stand up straight. "What?" I hear him ask from behind me before I feel him wrap his arms around me, leaning down to bury his face in my neck. "Nothing Love..." I say as I smile, placing my hand on his head. He stands up, looking at my chat, who is spamming my 'AW POG' emote. He laughs before leaving the room again, probably to grab food or something.

~TIME SKIP~ Sighing as I end my stream, I sit back, feeling a presence behind me. I look up to see Johnathan looking down at me, smirking. He pokes my forehead, looking further down me before I realize why. I quickly pull my hoodie up a bit before giggling. He sighs and moves his attention to my computer screen, watching as I put my favorite playlist on. "How to Save a Life" by The Fray starts playing as Schlatt walks around the chair, picking up my small body and sitting down, setting me on his lap. I lean my head into his chest, enjoying the moment. After about 20 minutes of just sitting there listening to music and cuddling, he finally speaks as I wiggle down further into his crotch, trying to get comfortable. "Y/N..." he says, I shift again, which made him groan. "Y/N, stop moving." I gasp a bit as I realize what I did. I quickly try to hop up, but he wraps his arms around my waist, keeping me in place as he rubs against me, putting his head in the crook of my neck. (authors note, I'm writing this in Science class) Feeling his shallow breaths against my neck as he tries to keep in groans, our roommate Connor asleep in the next room. He continues to grind against me as he gets rougher, making me moan. He places his hand against my mouth as he gives one more hard grind before bending me forward and pushing me against my desk. He leans over me, grinding again, and whispering to me. "Next time Y/N, watch how you move, alright? Now, Prince, be a good slut for daddy."I nod my head and he chuckles, leaning back up, running his hands over my ass. He suddenly smacks it, making me gasp. He runs his hands up my hips, flipping me around and lifting me to sit on the desk and spreading my legs apart a little, stepping in between them as he takes my hoodie off. He immediately starts sucking, leaving hickeys on my neck. I moan as he gropes my boob with one hand, his other traveling into my pants. (I'm now in ELA class... hah) He sets me on my feet, looking at me impatiently. I quickly pull my pants down, leaving me only in my underwear and him fully dressed. He only looks at me with dominance. "Everything off Y/N." I look at him, rocking on my heels, feeling a bit bratty. Mistake. He wraps his hand around my neck and I hear a very familiar click. My eyes widen as I rush to take my panties off. "Good boy~" he hums, picking me up as I wrap my legs around him. He presses me against a wall to hold me up with one hand, using the other to take his throbbing member out of his pants. I whine as I feel it brush against me. He chuckles, brushing it against my opening, teasing me. I moan and he covers my mouth with his large hand as he pushes into me, letting out a soft groan. He slowly pumps, knowing he's driving me crazy. I whine and he lifts his hand from my mouth, wrapping it around my throat. "What do you want, baby?" he asks, smirking. I choke back moans. "Please..." I say, out of breath as he continues his teasing pace. "Please what baby boy? Use your words~" he purrs. "Please.... please... f-faster... h-harder..." I quietly say as he smiles crazily. Suddenly he slams into me, making me scream as he places his hand back on my throat. "Happily!" he laughs as he continues slamming into me. You can clearly hear my moans through his hand as I feel the burning knot start to build in my stomach. His pace stays just as ravaging as he groans. At the sound of his groan the knot in my stomach snaps as I cum on him. He continues pounding at the same pace. He looks down and his lip curls up. "Did I say you could cum, slut?" he spits, picking up his pace and throwing his head back. I begin to cry as the overstimulation overcomes my body. He keeps his pace as my tears roll down his hands, my screams sounding as though they aren't even muffled.

As I begin to come down from my high, I feel my second orgasm start to build up. I start whining to tell Schlatt so I don't get in trouble. He laughs.

"Do you really think i should let you cum?" he questions, removing his hand from my mouth again and grabbing a fist full of my hair, his thrusts getting sloppier. I nod rapidly. At that, he grins. "Beg"

"P-please... please Daddy, please let me cum, Ill be good! Please" I plead in-between moans. He chuckles, letting go of my hair and stroaking my cheek softly. "Good boy~ Cum with me~"

As his thrusts become harder and sloppier, I cum again. Seconds after I feel him release ropes of his seed inside of me. He pulls out, shifting me into bridal position as I feel his cum dripping out of me. He quickly throws a blanket over me as I lay my head on his chest. He carries me out the office and into the bathroom, setting me in the tub and starting the warm water. He momentarily leaves the room to grab me new clothes, and I hear Connor outside the door., making me giggle.

"Next time Schlatt, keep it down."

(If you want, dm some story ideas. ill take some.)

[honestlyandrogynousnightmare]

Arthur in Sins of the father...

Fyi, prepare for grammatical errors because beta reading just isnt my thing..by that i mean im lazy but yknow

I have to say, this is probably one of my favourite episodes ever. Not only is it actually well written, its focused on Arthur and how much he misses his mother and Bradley did an incredible job in this episode. 

I like how Arthur centric it is. Most episodes do end up revolving around Merlin (well no shit sherlock the show is called merlin) but having this episode focus on Arthurs struggles is a nice change and gives us a better view into his character as well as gives us a glimpse of what Arthur would be like without his fathers brainwashing.

What this episode highlights more than anything is how much Arthur wants to meet his mother. All his life he has been told to obey his father and not trust sorcerers and then the moment a sorceress mentions that she knew his mother Arthur goes against both of those things just to meet her. It doesnt matter what lengths he has to go to, he still does everything he can for that one conversation and i think that shows just how much he wants that maternal figure in his life, even if its for a few seconds. In all honesty, i would say he’s pretty desperate by this point. His father never mentions his mother or anything about her so so he cant even paint a picture of her in his brain which just makes him want to meet her more. In those moments when hes going after Morgause, we kind of see a different side of him, because for once in his life he has a chance to learn something about his mother. And you just cant blame him for being so desperate at this point. We dont see much of this, but Arthur grew up without that love every other child experiences, not even from his own father. Someone in his position cant spare time for feelings, and that key ideology that his father drilled into his head remained there from childhood onwards. Having this one chance to know something about the person his mother was, isnt something he could let himself miss.

Another thing he is bound to be feeling is guilt. The first instance is being the cause of his mothers death. Before he found out about the magic thing, it wouldve been so easy to jump to the conclusion that his birth caused is mothers death as she died in childbirth (or as he was told). But after he was told that he was born of magic, i think that while part of him blamed his father for not reading the fine print on the contract (i dont know who came up with that joke, it for sure wasnt me), he still blamed himself because the creation of his life is what took his mothers life away. Not only that, but at the end of the episode when Merlin told him that the illusion was fake, its clear enough that he feels guilty for almost killing his damn father, trusting a sorceress in the first place and also disobeying  his father. 

And back onto the whole thing about Arthur being desperate, he trusted a random woman (and i repeat, a sorceress) about knowing his mother. Not only that but he fully believed the illusion. Idk this just makes me so sad because he had that little spark of hope, not only about meeting his mother but also believing that not all sorcerers are evil. He didnt question these things, he went straight into them, which to me just again shows how desperate and hopeful he was at that point. 

Obviously all of that was completely crushed when he attempted to murder his father and then merlin told him that it was all a lie butttt lets backtrack a little. 

What i love about this episode more than anything is that is shows us that Arthur isnt completely brainwashed (using that word again because synonyms requre effort) by his father, he doesnt hang on every word that is told to him by Uther and all it takes to convince him that his father is wrong is one illusion.Him fighting with Uther and, even for that short period of time, believing that magic isnt evil, gives us an insight into the person he is. Hes not a bad person. He may be naive and ignorant because of the way he was brought up but  if he was educated properly as a child then he wouldnt agree with his father so much. The question everyone always asks is what would happen if merlin hadnt stepped in? i think its fair to say that Arthur wouldnt hate magic so much and maybe the whole golden age of albion would actually happen, but arthur would be miserable. i think thats the main thing that pushed merlin to lie again, because by that point in the series its obvious that he doesnt fight for magic, he fights for arthur. Like yeah arthur saying that magic is evil at the end of the episode does clerly crush merlin but i dont think he would be able to live with Arthur being so miserable and guilt ridden over killing his father. Either way, this is about arthur and not merlin (though ill probably write a paragraph on that sooner or later) so let me pose you the final question (that i will also answer because im here to spread my unwanted opinions).

Is this entire episode pointless for arthurs character development  or not. 

when i first asked myself this question, the obvious answer was yes, because arthur went full circle. from hating sorcery to still hating it in the end. But what i later considered is that even if he went full circle, there was a journey he had to endure. If anything, he hates sorcery even more now simply because he first hand witnessed a sorceress “lie” to him for her own gain and to try to destroy the kingdom. All those things his father taught him about sorcery are essentially happening, and the fact that he was lied to about a sensitive subject like his mother, would just make the situation worse for him.

The thing about arthur and sorcery, is that he is never actually able to find his own stance on it. People manipulate him back and forth, whether thats Uther, agravane, morgana, morgause, random magical enemies of camelot who think starting war and conflict will make arthur hate sorcery less, everyone manipulates him and drags him into different directions. He never makes that opinion himself. Idrk, this isnt even relevant but im on a roll of pointing out sad things so whoohooo

So what is my point? If this hadn't happened, maybe Arthur would have an easier time making his own judgement and stance on magic, but of course its bbc merlin and we cant have happy endings.

Welp hope you enjoyed this rollercoaster of emotions, have a lovely evening ..or day?

Either way. As always. I blame uther

[stanevansgossip]

Hii!! I really liked your pinned post and I hope you can create this safe space here. And I would like to know your opinion about sebastian and alejandra

hi anon ❤

and yes me too, i really want to create a safe space for everyone.

and ah Sebastian and Ale, this is a big one:

firstly, i dont think they are PR or fake, i also dont think they ever were imo.

I think they were introduced through Jon K, and talked on the phone for a bit or maybe met before ( i think this is contested, i have no idea how they started honestly) but i think those Yacht pics, thats when their relationship became legit and serious.

I think Seb was really alone during the pandemic, i think it really got to him and he wanted someone, i think he jumped into this relationship with Ale in big part because of the loneliness he felt during the initial lockdown. i think Ale is carefree, and always laughing and partying and having a good time, always traveling 🤡 and just lives life without a care, which appealed to seb because he wanted that happy carefree life and he wanted to be happy.

Sebastian seems to want a women who is beautiful and kind, but isn't more intelligent then him and doesn't criticise him, but constantly praises him ( i dont mean this in a negative way, this is just my opinion ), he seems to want someone who doesn't challenge him but follows him. and to each their own, but i think this is exactly who Ale is, and honestly she seems like she fits into his friend group perfectly.

personally, i think Seb needs more, someone who is closer to his age, someone who is more intellectual ( now obviously i dont know ale - so she could be very smart who knows? this is just my opinion) someone who will challenge him.

Now do i think Seb and Ale love each other = yes

do i think they are in love with each other = maybe

do i think they will continue to be in-love with each other= No.

I dont see them lasting tbh, but i do think they will be together for a long time. this relationship just seems so easy for them. They live on opposite sides of the world, they both work, everytime they see eachother lets say only 6/7 months out of a year all they do is travel and party and have fun, its carefree, its easy - they don't seem to have to worry about any of the real serious relationship problems that put strain on couples, they don't seem to argue over big things- because imo i dont think they ever talk about big serious things.

its an easy and carefree relationship, they would break up if they had to face the serious conversation of settling down or falling for someone else - and tbh i dont see this happening at all.

i also kind of have this feeling that maybe in a year or 2 they will get engaged - but being engaged is what makes the realise this isn't right for them and they need more and then they break up. but Seb doesn't seem to want marriage or kids anytime soon, so i hate to break it to everyone but unless they have a big fight they will be together for a long time.

Now for the bad shit:

the travelling - im not going to go into this fully we've all discussed it enough,, but i think it was hypocritical and really kind of made me sad, it seems like they just dont care about the pandemic and are all about living their own lives and having fun.

Cultural Appropriation - ughh, yep- this is also a topic everyone has exhausted, but here is my opinion:

She was ignorant, whether that was because of where she was raised, how she was raised or just a general lack of awareness - she was ignorant. It was not racism it was ignorance.

Now, here is my problem: if she was someone who genuinely cared about being culturally aware and sensitive, if she was someone who could own up to her mistakes and grow from them, if she was someone who felt guilt and regret over offending someone even unintentionally - she would have apologised.

she clearly made mistakes, but the minute she refused to apologise for them, own up to them or even acknowledge them - those mistakes were no longer unintentional mistakes. her ignorance was no longer ignorance, because now she is aware she did something wrong- and she has CHOSEN to not apologise.

she doesn't care. and that is disgusting to me.

yes, i agree however that the main reason people are continuously bringing up her cultural appropriation is because she is dating seb- but it doesn't matter why- it still exists. and she wont apologise. and even if she did now, i personally feel it is too late.

Now in saying all this, i think it is disgusting the way some of Seb's fans treat her- the bodyshaming, the slutshaming, the racism and bullying - that is not ok.

she is an ignorant rich white girl. yes.

but be better than her, dont be bullies because you think she is awful, be better. We have exhaustedly pointed out her ignorance, she knows it, sebastian knows it, everyone knows it - so let it go, she will never apologise, seb will never address it and harassing them in their comments everyday, it makes you just as bad as them.

personally, i feel that the harder your try to break seb and ale up the more they will want to stay together to prove a point, to not let you get to them- the harder you push them to fail the stronger they will be - SO IGNORE THEM, make them lose all the attention we give them, stop giving a shit - and i guarantee, eventually they will just end it on their own.

there are so many more important issues you can be using this energy to help, so many petitions, awareness campaigns - things that will actually make a difference. please, put your negative energy into doing something good, attacking Ale ( an ignorant rich white girl who will never be affected by anything we could throw at her ) is not worth it.

SPREAD KINDNESS ALWAYS ❤

[mizunetzu]

Can you do Daichi x male reader where Daichi asks his boyfriend to come over to meet his team and he forgets and goes home so Daichi give him a call and is like "where you at?" "I cant come I look like a clown." "I bet you dont look that bad." "No you dont get it im in full drag." So his boyfriend comes to the gym in full drag, booby and butt pads, and monster heels, and when he walked in it's like Kags that recognizes him as his drag name.

LMAOOJSKE DRAG QUEEN READEKRNRNF

——————

Daichi x reader - DRAG QUEEN?!

⚠️warnings - drag queen, college first year reader x high school 3rd year (if that’s even a warning skdjd)

Pronouns- male, he/him

——————

Daichi said it on impulse, really.

“Do you guys...wanna meet my boyfriend?”

Everyone in the gym stopped. They were in middle of a practice match between themselves, and just when Yamaguchi was about to serve, he choked on air and missed the ball completely. The ball flew in the air, before landing somewhere near his feet.

Everyone stared at Daichi with a variety of expressions. Some shocked, some looking at him like he ‘said I’m gonna chop my dick off,’ and some who didn’t even care. (Tsukishima, obviously.) Ukai had to call timeout, since no one could focus after what Daichi blurted out.

Suga chuckled awkwardly, slinging a towel over his shoulders. “So uh, ahaha, your um...gay...?” His voice progressively died down into a whisper.

“Yeah. Is...that’s a problem?”

“No! No! I fully support y-“

“AND YOU CHOSE NOW TO TELL US? DUDE, WE COULD’VE LIKE, THROWN YOU A COMING-OUT PARTY!” Tanaka shook his captaincy the shoulders, while Noya squirted water into his mouth with his squeeze bottle.

“Well I don’t really mind, I’m already out, I was just asking if you wanted to meet him.”

“DO WE?! OF COURSE WE DO! DOES HE PLAY VOLLEYBALL?! DO YOU THINK HE COULD JOIN THE TEAM?!” Hinata jumped up and down, slowly inching is way towards Daichi with an awestruck look on his face. He’s rather surprised Hinata isn’t more shocked.

“Yeah. Uh-no, sorry. He doesn’t play.” Daichi chuckled, patting an excited looking hinata on the head. “I don’t think he has work tomorrow, so tomorrow’s really the only time he can come to practice.”

“Work?” Asahi looked up from the towel he was using to wipe off his sweat. “How old is he? Is he a third year?”

“He’s a first year in college. Actually-I think he goes to the college in Sendai.”

Asahi exhaled. It would’ve been weird if someone as young as a highschooler were to already be working, when the could be enjoying their time in classes or clubs. “Where does he work?”

Flashbacks of all the drag shows and money being thrown around a stage whipped across Daichis mind like a slap to the face. He’s sure the team wouldn’t mind, especially because they already don’t mind him having a boyfriend, but he isn’t sure if (Y/n) was ok with him telling his team he was a...y’know.

“...I’m not sure?”

————

“Oh-hello Daikkun! How was practice today?” (Y/n) opened the passenger seat to his door, waiting for him to step inside. Sometimes he liked to pick him up from school before he had to get in makeup for a night show. That didn’t stop him from doing a little bit of eyeliner, though.

“It was nice. I told them they could meet you soon. The team.”

“Really?!”

“Yeah, you don’t have any shows tomorrow, right? I kind of told them tomorrow.” Daichi scrubbed at the back of his neck, while (y/n) started up his car. “I know you’ve wanted to meet them.”

“You bet your ass! Well-I mean I have a show at like 2 am but that doesn’t matter. What time can I come? Are they nice? Didn’t you say there was one who was really short but could jump as high as me in stilettos?”

“Oi-! Focus on the road!”

“Sorry, sorry! I’m just excited. Anyways! Can you come to my show tonight? I’ll sneak you in.”

“Every time I go to one of your drag shows I get scared someone will kick me out since I’m 17.”

“Dude, have you seen yourself?!” (Y/n) gestures over to Daichi, putting emphasis on his thigh-region. “You’re big and muscly enough to at least pass as 18. It’s just a one year difference, when’s your birthday again?”

“I can’t believe you forgot, I’m hurt.” Daichi chuckled, fiddling with his backpack straps on his lap. “Besides, doesn’t your show run kind of late today? I don’t get to choose when to take my classes like you, (L/n). And I have morning practice, so I need to sleep.”

“You’re no fun, Daikkun.”

“Yeah, yeah, My house is over there.”

————

(Y/n) scrolled through his phone for the nth time that day. Fanning himself dramatically, he huffed and buried his face into his pillow. There was nothing to do today, and since he took morning classes, that left him with the rest of the afternoon to ponder, before working at night.

Was there something to do today? Was he forgetting something? He felt like he was, but he couldn’t quite place his finger on it.

He glanced guilty at a tube of light pink lip gloss tossed haphazardly on his desk. A light bulb went off in his head.

Hastily throwing his covers off his body, (y/n) dragged himself over to his closet, grabbing the lip gloss in the process. He shuffled through hangers of clothes, finally pulling out a girls uniform he bought from when he was in high school. He never wore it to school, choosing to wear the boys uniform, but he thought it’d be nice to have when he was feeling fruity.

Slipping on the skirt and cardigan, he walked over to his desk mirror. He unscrewed the wand from the tube of lip gloss, tentatively applying it generously to his lips. He shrugged. He figured he could do some more makeup. It’s not like he’s busy today, right?

Carefully winging the tip of his eyeliner, he took a step back and admired himself in the mirror. He looked cute, yeah, but cute wasn’t really his style. It screamed ‘cute femboy’ rather than his usual ‘sexy ass drag queen dominatrix who could step on you with their sharp ass knife heels’

Damn. He was really about to go all out, huh? Time to bring out the butt pads and fake boobs.

————

Sighing contently in front of the mirror, (y/n) did a little spin, puffing out the length of his dress. Damn, he was hot. And with his impossibly high monster heels? Take me now.

(Y/n) was in the midst of taking a couple cute selfies in front of his full length mirror, when his screen went grey and a caller ID appeared.

‘Incoming call - Daikkun!! <3’

(Y/n) smiled unconsciously and clicked the bright green button with his thumb. He brought his phone to his ear and twirled a piece of his faux wig with his finger.

“Hi Daikkun! Did you need something, cutie?”

“Are you still coming over?” Daichis voice was hushed, and the slam of volleyballs rang though his speaker.

“Uh-what for?”

“To meet my team? Where are you?”

Fuck.

(Y/n) paled as he eyed himself in the mirror. He couldn’t show up looking like that. And it was too much to take off before Daichis practice ended. This was the only time he had to meet this team Daichi had always been talking about, and he’d completely forgot.

“...I can’t, I look like a clown.” (Y/n’s) voice came out a hoarse, nervous-chuckly whisper. He could taste the expensive red lipstick sitting on his lips.

“I’m sure you don’t look that bad.”

“Dude no, you don’t understand.” (Y/n) picked at the hem of his dress, the silicone boobs suddenly squeezing his chest a bit too tightly. “I’m in full drag.”

A silence rang out from both sides of the line. Daichi awkwardly chuckled.

“Ahaha uh-didn’t you say you didn’t have work today?”

“No! No I-I don’t have work til like-later later but like-I got bored and I forgot I was gonna meet your team today...sorry-“

“Well I’m sure they won’t mind if you show up in drag. I mean-they seemed pretty ok with knowing we’re a thing so...?”

(Y/n) gulped.

“...I guess I’ll see you in ten minutes then.”

—————

“Good work everyone!”

Ukai dismissed the players, leaving them to start rolling up the net and cleaning up the gym. Sugawara jogged up to the captain, dragging his mop lazily behind him.

“You said your boyfriend was gonna come today, right? Where is he?”

“Uh,” Daichi checked his wrist, before realizing he didn’t have a watch and fished out his phone. “He should be here any minute now-“

Just in time, the doors to the gym creaked open. Daichi smiled, leaving Suga to trail behind him curiously. He reached for the door handle, giving it a firm pull.

In stepped a boy with a long synthetic wig on, and heels that made him tower over Daichi easily. The sharp platforms of his heels clicked with each step he took, jewelry and accessories also bobbing up and down. And not to mention the ‘bobbling’ the silicone boobs made. Jeez, even if they were fake, they did still jiggle a hell of a lot.

(Y/n) bent down daintily, pressing a kiss onto Daichi’s cheek. Lipstick smeared on his sweaty cheek, leaving a dark imprint on the side of his face. (Y/n) seemed to finally take notice of all the astonished stares directed at him.

Should he A, stand beside his boyfriend awkwardly and pick at the loose thread of his dress or B, put on his confident drag persona and play it off?

He chose B.

(Y/n) smirked and leaned on on of his feet, placing a hand on his hip. “What? Like what you see, boys? I’m afraid I’m already taken, though.”

Fuck. Fuck fuck. Fuck. Even with the confident display, (y/n) couldn’t help but stay somewhat behind Daichi, trying to shrink behind his 10 inch heels.

Immediately, a bald guy and a kid with a bleached strip on the front of his head erupted into excitement.

“Yo! Sick dress, dude!”

The atmosphere lightened up tremendously. (Y/n) let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Well thank you, Mr. Bleach strip.”

The bald one, who introduced himself as ‘Tanaka’, slapped Daichi on the back. “Dude! What’s with all the surprises?! You tell us you have a boyfriend but you didn’t tell us he was a drag queen?!”

“I-to be honest I didn’t know he was in drag today-I didn’t know he had work.”

The closet door opened, with Hinata and Kageyama walking out from placing the net inside. Hinata gasped excitedly, while Kageyama froze. Hinata practically bolted towards the unknown person wearing heels and jumped up to his height. (Y/n) choked on air. This kid practically flew at him.

“Wow! Are you one of those ‘drag queens’ I see on tv sometimes?! Cool! That’s so cool! I-“

“ARE YOU QUIMCHI?!”

Hinatas throat closed up, along with (y/n) after hearing his stage name being called out so...dramatically. The boy continued.

“...F-FROM THAT ONE INTERVIEW THEY DID ON THAT ONE CLUB ON THE LATE NIGHT SHOW WITH SHIN’ICHI HATORI?!”

Kageyamas booming voice rang through the gym as he pointed at (y/n) with wide eyes. Everyone’s gaze went from (y/n) to Kageyama, who was frozen in place. Even (y/n) was a tad bit confused.

The club he worked at recently had a special done on TV, and (y/n) was only in the background. He didn’t know how this...boy recognized him from that, or why he was even watching the drag special on that show in the first place.

“...yeah...yeah I am,” (y/n) smiled awkwardly and a boy with blond hair and glasses chuckled from somewhere in the gym.

The boy, with another guy with dark-green hair, walked out from the storage closet aswell. “Who knew the king was into that kind of stuff? Drag queens? No disrespect, ma’am-sir.”

Kageyama seemed to unfreeze just to glare at Tsukishima with a flushed face. “I-IM NOT! MY STUPID SISTERS JUST A BIG FAN, IS ALL!“

Kageyama turned to (y/n), and marched scarily fast towards him. He stopped abruptly and bowed his head so far it made (y/n) take a step back.

“M-MAY I HAVE AN AUTOGRAPH FOR MY SISTER?! AN-AND MAYBE A PHOTO TOO?!” Kageyama stiffly held his arms to his sides as he kept his head down. Small chuckles and snorts sounded from all around the gym, (y/n) even joining in and patting the black haired boys head.

“Sure thing, doll.”

————

“Your team was nicer than I thought.”

Daichi looked up questionably, fastening his seatbelt. (Y/n) started up his car. “What do you mean, nicer?”

“Well-I thought they were gonna be a bunch of meatheads banging their heads together. They’re actually more interesting than I thought they were going to be. Especially that Kageyama guy.”

Daichi smiled contently. “I’m glad you like them, then.”

A comfortable silence breezed by them, the only sounds audible being the hum of the car engine and the soft tapping of Daichis nails against the armrest. Daichi stole a glance at (y/n). His wig was discarded, placed neatly on the backseat with the wig cap and hairpins resting underneath it, and his hair was slightly damp and messy due to being constricted. His lipstick was a bit smeared from when he kissed him on the cheek, and droplets of sweat gathered near his hairline.

Daichi set his fingers lightly on the spot where the lipstick mark sat, caressing it softly so the lipstick wouldn’t smear more that it already has. He exhaled softly and shifted his gaze back down. He wouldn’t mind if he came to his practice again.

“...so wanna come to my show tonight, Daikkun?”

“It’s at 2am, no.”

—————

Extra:

Kageyama: miwa.

Kageyama: MIWA.

Miwa sighed and checked her phone, sliently scolding her brother for bothering her. She stretched and rubbed her eyes. She swore, if Tobio wanted a ride home from practice...

Miwa: mm

Kageyama: -photo sent-

Miwa: DUDE

Miwa: AJDJSKDKF

Miwa: HOW THE FUCK

Miwa: TELL ME YOU GOT QUIMCHIS AUTOGRAPH DJFJDJE

Kageyama: -photo sent-

Kageyama: I DID. I GOT ONE FOR U AND ONE FOR ME

Kageyama: HE WAS SO TALL TOO

Kageyama: LIKE HE WAS A HALF FOOT TALLER THAN ME EVEN WITHOUT THE HEELS

Miwa: WHY WAS HE AT UR PRACTICE WHSHD

Kageyama: apparently he’s dating my captain

Miwa: WHAT RHE FUCKCIDNEBRJ

——————

[sapphire-innit]

MD is a trip in SO many ways lmao

HI!! So it's been a while but I was feeling sad about some minecraft boys and it finally kickstarted me enough energy to do this again. For those who haven’t seen this before everything is tagged “dream smp liveblog” if you wanna look back.

I was thinking about rewatching some of the exile vods again to get back into the right headspace but honestly I’m gonna ride this wave while I can and jump right back into it. Maybe when I catch up fully I’ll go back and watch them all in a marathon and see how much I can make myself cry, who knows

Intro out of the way here we go! VOD: Tommy Speaks to Mexican Dream in Exile

(rp): oh man I forgot how fucked up his skin was…. And hes drowning again

He’s also lashing out at people in chat and then pulling back “Ranboo: are you alright man” ahhh buddy YOU KNOW HES NOT

….You know. Some of the Dread HAS faded but it STILL sucks when Dream logs in.

“And Tubbo hasnt spoke to me…” :(

But hes still trying!!! Hes gonna make a path!!

Lol what is this melon monstrosity lol the youtube praise Tommy just screamed lmaoo

….Dream YOU can get out of VC 2 fuck off

….just the casual “oh yeah sorry” while he blows up the armor….

“DId anyone come to see you while I was gone” I see you, you obsessive fucker

“Weve become better friends” :/

HI MEXICAN DREAM WHAT AN INTRO THEYRE JUST STARING AT HIM LMAO

Yes BULLY HIM MD BULLY HIM

“WHICH ONES HOTTER” cursed cursed cursed

Lol the tone is so absurd Im having a good time

cc!Dream taking the time to pinpoint the particular restaurant its from lmaoo this man is funny

Lol Mexican Dream just chasing Dream away with Spanish YEAH GET EM MD

Tommys so excited to have someone who might live with him omg

“Borderline my owner” ….

…,,,look I just needed a short hand ok Mexican Dream is too long to type lol

,,,,,I dont know how to process Mamacita asdfsdfsd

SOMEHOW GOT MORE CURSED

Cant believe this is canon lore because it gets. SAD?? What is happening right now

This must have been a great tension breaker for people watching live though. A Nice break. Honestly I have mixed feelings about this being my first stream back lol

…..what are those maps huh? Old Memories huh? Tommy seems actually a bit embarrassed lmao

TUBBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TUBBO!!!!!

Asfsdfsdfsdfsdfsdfds these fuckign pictures jesus omg

Somehow this would be more sad if Tommy wasn't blowing out his mic fake crying lmao

…..hey fuck girl Dream though

Is girl Dream canonically Dream or a different character?

“You two are the happiest couple I know” … F for the dream smp where no relationship survives lol Love is Dead

….my heart was racing while Tommy was hiding the rest of the Tubbo pictures…

“Not on my stream you better not!” afdsfdsfsdfsd

Rip Mexican Dream lol Quackity dies to mobs a lot doesn’t he

………..I just got the walls joke F F F

……hi Dream you fucker

HEY BITCH, HEY BITCH BOY!!! YEEEEE TOMMY GET HIM

….. This is why Dream kills MD isn’t it

OUCH DIRECTLY AFTER THAT

MEXICAN DREAM DID JUST JUMP IN FRONT OF TOMMY JEEZ

….. Welp this is turning serious, Tommy is literally trying to distract Dream from chasing MD

The fucking decapitation joke asdfsdfsdf

OH MD WITH THE REAL GEAR!!!

….well that was short lived. As was Mexican Dream, Rest in Pieces I guess

“That was my last friend on the server. And that was his last death” “.......” “WELL WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TODAY ~ :D”

“I never thought I’d see the day where Mexican Dream is canonically dead”

….. The serious tone is back for sure ….. Its staring into lava and gaslighting time

Literally just killed his friend and Dream already getting Tommy to say they’re friends…

“He died of a drug overdose” “I watched you kill him” “Noo he died of natural causes” >:(

cc!Tommy really canonizing this just to twist the knife

...hes just standing in the fire :(

………begging him for company.. “I don’t think I have very long left” …….

At least Drista will be fun?

“Its fine, its really his rules now” “After tomorrow, then I think its over”.... This is the pillar isn’t it. The pillar is happening soon

“Tommy can you stop going insane please?” - FUNDY PLS LMAO

Strange interlude with Lazar… obviously Tommy is lashing out but I also feel like there is a bit of back-handedness to his interactions as well. Maybe the only one ACTUALLY only reaching out because of pity..?

Well that was a strange and oddly sad interlude. The middle was just the wildest of rides, but the end still managed to ground it back, mostly. 13 did NOT HURT in that regard honestly lol. I feel like I’ve definitely lost some momentum by splitting things up like this -- my recommendation to anyone watching is Definitely to shotgun it if you can do so safely. Its such a well written arc, even and up to including silly streams like this, and its a shame not to have watched it all at once.

STILL! Looking forward to seeing Drista, that little chaos godling has grown on me quite a bit, not least of all BECAUSE she’s a chas godling with creative mode lol. I’ve also heard thats the other “break” exile stream, so probably a bit more lighthearted (not least of all bc idk how much Drista the person actually knows and or cares about her brother’s block game role play canon lmao)