#(do I need it or is this the therapy who can tell)
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lostintransist · 2 days ago
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I can't keep doing this to myself...
My brain spit out an idea at me that I don't want to lose so you get to suffer with me under the weight of this idea until I have the time space energy ADHD hyperfocus to start on it.
This is not edited. Goal is to get the thought out of my head, not to make it perfect.
So imagine for me if you will that in some version of the stories for whatever reason I can bullshit into making sense Simon is selected to undergo a new and experimental form of trauma therapy. Used she/her here but when I write it pronouns will be you/yours
He hates it but orders are orders and after losing Johnny (his best mate, his lover, the other half of his soul) he would do just about anything to crawl from under the weight of the grief and guilt. Accepting the assignment means being put under sedation regularly for anywhere from six months to a year. During the sedation your active mind will remian awake and will begin to interact with a simulation that will help deal with the traumas exisiting in his body and mind.
Simon, not 100% on board, accepts the assignment but when he wakes up in some of his worst memorires ignores the woman following him from scene to scene, offering help. Every time he cowers as a child she offers a hand. Each time he bites back the fear flooding his system on a battlefield she offers to take the bullet instead.
For months he ignores her, trying to defeat his demons on his own. This was his mind and his body dammit, he could do this.
She stops offering help but doesn't leave. Trailing behind him in his memories Simon always finds flowers strewn in his footsteps. He never bothered to learn her name. When her laughter starts to haunt his dreams he watches her instead of his memories.
Whoever had programed this simulation had taken great care in creating a realistic interaction point. She makes ugly faces before she sneezes in the barns he has hid in, always complains about hayfever. Her ring finger on her right had been broken before, he can tell from the slight bend between the second and third knuckle. Every time he entered the simulation she wore something different, sometimes tugging on pants as if they wouldn't stay up.
"What should I call you?"
"Mmm?" She looks up from a book she had pulled down from a shelf in a dilapidated kitchen. "Oh, I'm not real so you can call me whatever you want."
He stared at her, frustrations mounting.
"Back to the silent treatment? Okay, this recipe looks actually really yummy," she turns to look back to the book.
Simon stalks up and snatches it from her hands. There is actually handwritten recipes. For some reason this makes Simon's rage double. How? How could this be real? He never opened a book in this kitchen. All that happened here was patching his wounds while waiting for exfil.
Their pattern continues like that until his brain finally spits out Johnny's death. He had been so, so careful to never let that memory come up. When it does Simon is so blindsided that when she offers to help he finally accepts.
Not knowing what to expect from this interaction did not prevent Simon from being surprised at how she handled it. She started to hum as she froze the memory, touching and moving pieces and people until everything had rewound a few moments.
"You have to sit it in, this pain. Talk to him. Tell him everything you didn't get a chance to. The longer you can sit in the agony the sooner it will find peace." She takes him by the hand and pulls him to his love.
Simon cries, like the young boy who needed safety and only found hate or indifference. Through blubbering sobs he tells Johnny every word he regretted hording. When Johnny hugs him back, mouth moving and voice saying things Simon had only dreamed of he found a semblenece of peace.
When his heartrate returns to normal and the only proof this interaction happened is the hollow space in his chest where Johnny will continue to exist his compaion steps back from Johnny, appearing as if from the dust.
"I think that is enough today. You did good." Turning on her heel she walks away, disappearing into the folds between memories.
Simon had never seen her leave before, he always ended the sessions before she had a chance.
He lets her help then, this nameless woman. They conquer every memory and the vaguest notions of memories that bother him. This intensive work paired with his weekly therapy leaves his with the skills to deal with the nightmares, the PTSD, and the trauma that still manifests from time to time.
Can one fall in love with a figment of imagintion? Simon thinks he might have. The final session he confesses, brushing his lips against hers as she sobs.
"But I'm not real. Simon, you can't love me I'm not real."
"Johnny's not real either anymore. I still love him. I'll keep you in my bones next to him, both of you keeping me safe."
She runs then, between memories and fears until she disappears and ends the sesion.
Simon, upon requesting more sessions, is informed that he has completed the program and all his care is being turned over to the non-intensive team that his therapist is a part of. Oh she shouldn't have argued with him or cut off their sessions. Now he knows she is real, the woman the knocked around his brain and fought back the demons for him.
Now all he had to do? Find her.
For anything I am currently working on check out my masterlist. This is getting dropped into my drabbles for later.
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noxlysium · 3 days ago
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Why Jean is so important to me
Welcome to my insane ramblings, enjoy your stay (or don't). Most of this is also very self-indulgent, by the way. Warning: Mentions of abuse, alcoholism, mental illness, self-destructive thoughts I'd also like to remind you that this isn't me justifying Jean's behavior in any way, he's a fucking asshole and doesn't know how to handle Harry, or himself. They're both flawed individuals and that's okay. This is just me talking about my own experiences. Now that we got that out of the way, let's get to the actual thing.
I'm not even sure where to start. When I first found out Jean had clinical depression, I immediately felt a connection. It's relatable. Very relatable, in fact. I myself have been depressed for years. It all started at a young age, I was about 13, but due to trauma it could be very much earlier than that. I don't remember much from my childhood because most of it are bad memories. I'm 21 now and still going through a lot of shit, so it's been about 8 years. Jean strikes me as a guy who has been fucked over his entire life, no matter where he goes or what he does. It always comes back to him. After I have finished DE for the first time and looked more into the lore of Jean and Harry, I started to notice the similarities between the relationship with him and Harry, and the relationship with me and my own parents.
I know what alcohol does to people, I've seen it all. And it's not great for either parties. I'm stuck in a repetitive cycle of wanting to help someone to get better, only to realize that they don't want to get better and then I start building hope again. Rinse and repeat. I know I cannot change them. But I keep hoping for a change anyway, and get upset when it never comes. Of course it doesn't. No matter what I've tried. I have tried so many times. I'm a fucking hypocrite because I sometimes drink as well. I don't want to become like them. I drink for fun every once in a while and try to not over-do it, because every time I touch alcohol, something in the back of my mind tells me I'm becoming like my father. I thought about smoking a few times, but I don't want to destroy myself like my mother does. I'm really fucking scared of smoking and its consequences. Which is funny, because I should be as scared when it comes to alcohol, but I'm not. They both drink every day at 3 pm, after work. Every single day.
And it has been like this for years. Nothing has ever changed. A few months ago I had an actual discussion with my parents. We usually never have these sort of conversations (That's the issue, by the way. A very big lack of communication. Does that ring any bells?) and I was actually surprised when they told me they wanted to lay off the alcohol. I tried to approach the topic carefully and even offered them help (therapy etc.) but.. they also didn't want that. They straight up told me they don't need help. Which is really fucking frustrating because I want them to understand that they do, but they don't care.
I know change is really fucking hard and I've been there, but my parents had so many opportunities to change and never took them. Nothing has changed for so many years and I'm tired of it. I'm waiting for a change to happen but I know it's never coming anyway. I'm tired, mad, disappointed. That's how Jean feels about Harry, he just doesn't know how to help him and is an ass about it. And I'm just letting it happen, because there's nothing else I can do. I'm watching them destroy themselves every day and it fucking hurts. Something in me still feels a tiny flame of hope, when in reality that flame is already extinguished. I want people to understand, my father really fucking reminds me of Harry. The emotional abusive, the physical abuse, the alcoholism, the sexist remarks.. It just screams Harry. Especially given with how he had been around people Pre-Martinaise, which I have read in the game inside the damaged ledger. The fact that I love Harry to a certain degree says a lot of things.
The marriage between my parents is like if Dora never left Harry, and it's fucking awful.
-
That is mostly why I can relate to Jean so much. There's also some smaller things and I'll get to those now.
He fucking sucks at feelings. You can see it with the way he's trying to handle Harry, and it's not working.. Which, yeah. I suck at those too.
He likes to hide his sadness underneath a layer of cynicism and sarcasm as a coping method.. I do this all the fucking time.
Let's face it, this man is a fucking nervous wreck. He picks at his facial hair and displays a lot more habits like that, like him fixing his clothes (even though they look clean, according to one of the skills in the game), running his hand through his hair.. I do this without even realizing it.
He's depressed and fucking empty on the inside. He most likely hasn't felt real love from anyone or for himself in years. He needs therapy (lots of it), anti-depressants and a hug.. And I know what that feels like. I know it too well.
Lastly, he's a fucking mess. Like in every single way imaginable.. Again, very relatable.
Jean is such an amazing character for me to project on, to relate to and to find comfort in. I'm glad they made him fucked up, because that's what I love about him. He has so many flaws and I love every single one of them. He's in the game for like 15 minutes or less, but the impact he's had on me is insane. I've had a fair share of characters I would obsess over, but Jean hits different.
I'm so glad Jean-Heron Vicquemare exists, because I wouldn't know where I would be if I never met him. I want to thank my lovely friend (who is not on here, but I'm still saying it because I care about him a lot) for gifting me this amazing game.
And I want to thank you for reading this mess of a post.
If you have made it this far, I want to show you one last thing.
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rawbin-hsr · 11 hours ago
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Hi! Could i request Feixiao, Boothill, and Argenti with a s/o who has panic disorder (or panic attacks in general). Just generally how they react and such :)
@dragon-anon
A/N: Surprisingly I found this a little difficult IUESJhief I have a lot of experience with. having anxiety when I was younger. I think I was even diagnosed with it at some point ? Which is weird because I’m not diagnosed any longer and I no longer really get anxiety attacks so idk what the fuck that was erm. Anyways that’s beside the point. I really struggled to make Feixiao and Argenti different because I think they would handle it similarly (hence why Argenti’s part ended up so much shorter than the other two, cause I didn’t want to just. Repeat Feixiao’s whole part.) and I’m a little worried Boothill is ooc because I haven’t done the new quest and it seems like it showed a lot of his backstory so forgive me if I’m not up to date on that. Sorry about rambling I’ll get on with it now help
Reader has an anxiety disorder
Characters: Feixiao, Boothill, Argenti
Cw: anxiety/panic attacks (descriptions kept brief, not very detailed), slight mention of self-harm inflicting behaviours in Argenti's part (only reader unintentionally scratching themself, not necessarily done out of a desire to harm oneself).
Lmk if there's anything else I should add !
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╭──────────.★..─╮ Feixiao ╰─..★.──────────╯
Oh she’s great 
Amazing at picking up your signals, amazing at assessing what course of action would help you most, amazing at following through with it
She can tell what sets you off, even without you telling her, and she has a lot of firsthand experience with handling other people’s anxiety (both from more intimate relationships and from soldiers she doesn’t exactly know on any personal level). It’s not hard for her to figure out what calms you down most quickly. 
Your episodes have never been shorter than they are with her around 🙏🙏
I’m not sure exactly how I imagine her handling it, because I think it switches a lot depending on what she knows about you. If she knows you find physical touch comforting, she’ll hold you and gently talk you down. If you’re the type who doesn’t need much reassurance, she’ll firmly remind you of where you are, that she’s with you, that you’re safe, etc, etc. She’ll find whatever solution works best for you. 
Apart from being great with damage control if you do have a panic attack, she’s also pretty good at preventing them from happening in the first place. 
If she recognises you’re stepping into an environment you’re likely to have an attack in, she’ll either steer you out of it if she can or she’ll make sure you’re in there for as little time as possible. Like, for example, if you’re bad with large crowds, she’ll usually just find a less packed road to take around the mass of people.
Obviously it’s unavoidable sometimes, and she won’t always be able to adhere to you completely because she does have a very important job that she can’t really put on hold for your sake, but like I said, she’s great at handling it then too. 
If something needs to be done but you can’t do it, she’ll do it for you (after gently trying to encourage you to face your fears and do it yourself — but she does quickly relent if she notices you really, really don’t want to)
10/10 would recommend she’s amazing
╭──────────.★..─╮ Boothill ╰─..★.──────────╯
I feel like Boothill would be absolutely dogwater at preventing any anxiety attacks from happening, but he’d be great at stopping them once they do happen
Like obviously he won’t trigger you on purpose but he won’t tiptoe around the things that put you off either. Both because he doesn’t usually have much choice in the matter considering his line of work, and because he believes in exposure therapy. And because he maybe sort of kind of forgets. 😭
But he’d be great while you’re in the middle of an anxiety attack ! So that counts for something !!!!
He always manages to snap you out of it pretty quickly. Takes you out of the situation once he recognises the signs that the attack is coming, then gets you present in the current moment again. How ? That’s very simple. He confuses the fuck out of you
You know that tip about making someone having an anxiety attack bite into a lemon ? Yeah
(If you haven’t heard about it: a way to snap someone out of a panic/anxiety attack can be to make them lick a really sour lemon without any warning. The sensory input is really overwhelming and the person having the episode might be so shocked by it they kind of just snap out of it because who the fuck makes you taste a lemon when you’re at your lowest like that ???)
You’re curled up in a ball, hyperventilating because there are too many people, too many sounds, too many what-have-you ? Not anymore, now you’re too busy being confused and lowkey angry at him for shoving an ice cube down your throat. Like wtf are you doing my guy
Usually his little stunts do the trick to get you out of that headspace, and then he can just verbally talk you down so you’re nice and calm again. Will let you cool off while he solves whatever issue it was that led to your anxiety attack. Don’t worry about it anymore, he’s got this. 
If he can’t confuse you out of it, though, he’ll just do whatever you’ve instructed him to do while lucid. If it’s hugging you and talking gently until you’re calm, he can do that. If it’s to just take you into a quiet space and let you ride it out, no problem. If it’s to just continue on and let you just stand next to him, sure. 
Only thing he won’t do is to avoid your triggers altogether. He can give you a heads-up when possible, he can let you sit it out if you really need to, but he won’t (in his words) “baby you”. In his opinion, you’ll never get over it if you just avoid it forever. 
He says it in a kind of harsh way, but there’s genuine care in his tone and his expression, so you know he doesn’t mean it like that. 
All in all I think Boothill is really great if you’re the resilient type and you have the kind of anxiety that can actually get better through treatment, but if you’re sensitive and need someone who actively helps you avoid your triggers I definitely wouldn’t recommend him 😭
╭──────────.★..─╮ Argenti ╰─..★.──────────╯
Obviously amazing at handling it is there anything he’s not good at ? 🙄 (/j)
He immediately becomes very serious when he realises your control is slipping, falls silent and looks at you worriedly. He recognises surprisingly quickly what’s happening, and steps into your field of view and crouches down, makes sure you can see his face. Takes both of your hands in his, wishes he didn’t have armour so he could let you feel his heartbeat.
He calmly talks you out of it. He sounds so sure of everything he does, to a point where you’ll question afterwards if he has firsthand experience with this. 
(He does. He used to experience a lot of anxiety and panic attacks as a child, it is only natural when you grow up surrounded by war; you’d never guess just looking at him now, though.)
He’ll obviously switch how he handles your panic attacks if you ask him to, but his default is to hold your hands (both to prevent you from accidentally scratching yourself, and to remind you he’s there) and to softly reassure you
I think he becomes sort of hyper aware of what triggers you, and does as much as he can to avoid it. Lowkey starts to baby you a little, but just a little, and even if it’s annoying it’s done with love, done out of a desire for you to be happy. It does put him in some tough spots though, considering it means he sometimes tells you to sit an adventure out, but the plan was for it to have the both of you and it’s harder to handle a lot of things alone 😭
Overall super good though I love him <3
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My inbox is open, feel free to send in asks or requests, I'd love to ramble about things <3
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purple-racoon-80 · 3 days ago
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My thoughts on EPIC: The Musical Pt. 2
@eloquentsisyphianturmoil here ya go!!
THE UNDERWORLD SAGA
The Underworld: POLITES JUMP SCARE!!! NOT FAIR NOW IM CRYING. HIS MOTHER'S DEAD??? NO POOR ODY WE NEED A THERAPY SAGA AT THIS POINT
No Longer You: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S NO LONGER HIM???? HUH??? EXPLAIN YOURSELF!!!
Monster: nooo this is lowkey kinda sad :((. SO WHAT IF IM THE MONSTER LURKING DEEP BELOW????
THE THUNDER SAGA
Suffering: "Penelope, why? *tucks hair behind ear* you know im too shy, and terrified" HELP THAT WAS SO BABYGIRL. its the way the siren genuinely answered his questions for me.
Different Beast: GO ODY!! THAT'S MY MAN!! bye bye sirens. although their screams and cries lowkey kinda hurt me
Scylla: OH MAN I LOVE HER VOICE AND HER DESIGN!!!! ODY WHAT THE FUCK DUDE??? I MEAN YOU KNOW I LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU BUT WHAT THE FUCK???
Mutiny: the way Eury looks so horrified at the start :(( he has every right to be mad :(((. OOF ODY GOT STABBED. PFFT- THEY TIED HIM UP. Eury, that's gonna have some backlash-
Thunder Bringer: "hiding away where only I can undress her" I hate you zeus. I hate you so much. "but we'll die" "I know" OUCH. THAT HURT. THE TEARS IN ODY'S VOICE.
THE WISDOM SAGA
Legendary: first sighting of Telemachus??? I LOVE LOVE LOVE HIM
Little Wolf: fuck you guys for trying to fuck Penelope. leave my queen alone. also, I love Athena here-
We'll Be Fine: YAYY, we get Athena and Tele. aww, their friendship is really cute.
Love In Paradise: "so, who's Penelope?" "my wife" YESS ODY GOOO. Calypso I love but hate you I love but hate you I love but hate you I love but hate you I love but hate you. ODY PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM THE EDGE. ANOTHER POLITES JUMP SCARE WHAT THE FUCK. ody is a strong, strong man. I would give in to Callie instantly.
God Games: OH MY FUCKING GOD IM THIS IS GONNA BE LONG
Apollo- my man wasn't even trying. he just wanted to leave at this point. "uh, I like signing and he killed sirens-"
Hephaestus- I LOVE LOVE LOVE HIS VOICE. I love him.
Aphrodite- she's gorgeous bro. also, its not his dam fault he couldn't make it home on time.
Ares: love love love his voice. "tell your lover a broken heart can mend." dam right.
Hera- her "hey baby" I'M SCREAMING I LOVE HER. "not once has he cheated on his wife" "release him" YESS.
Zeus I hate you. she's your daughter. zeus I hate you. zeus I hate you.
THE VENGEANCE SAGA
Not Sorry For Loving You: this actually kind of made me feel sorry for calypso. I mean, she's cursed. it's not her fault.
Dangerous: re-enforcing my fruity Hermes allegations. mmmmm, I love him so much. words can not describe how much I do. THIS SONG IS A BOP-
Charybdis: OML THIS WAS AMAZING. I can't describe how much this got me on the edge of my seat. I love this I love this I love this I love this.
Get In The Water: fuck you Poseidon he was so close. fuck you Poseidon.
Six Hundred Strike: oh my fucking god. oh lord. THE WAY HE FUCKING TORTURED POSEIDON??? DAM OH MY GOD DUDE!! ignore me freaking out over here -
this was a rollercoaster of emotions fucking hell. im so excited for the Ithaca saga ong. one moment, I have to go scream.
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allbycharles · 3 hours ago
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Hello @silmarillisms ! Those are valid points so I will try to respond. Thank you for your response. Let me add more details to explain why I said what I said.
Tolkien did highly probably have ptsd after going through traumatic experiences of the war. We cannot know of course. That it was traumatizing is sure.
What Tolkien and nobody else knew in his times was how to heal PTSD which is what I meant by Tolkien did not know how trauma works.
Having it and getting rid of it is two different things. To get rid of my ptsd i had to use the first available manuals of the usa army that came out ten years ago. Before that there was no solution even though of course the doctors were trying a lot of things.
Your point of elves mental health is of course valid just as me not having any rights to tell how to write. I am not saying people have to write correctly ptsd treatment. Neither that elves work same as people.
Why was it important to state how mental health works and to have elves work same as humans from my perspective which you can happily ignore of course....and why in first place i wrote my first post:
People use art as help and I hear it daily from everyone around that: they think ptsd works like this and that, anxiety works like this and that, depression is cured by this and that.........and all of that circulates through chats, tv, social media and art and all of it is wrong. And gets people hurt very much and deeply. Because they did not get the right info.
And most of population works on examples they see around and big part of it is art.
I had no goal of criticizing anyones writting....I can see I tagged my post wrong so it sounded like "stop this and do what I just said or else I send a balrog" I am really sorry about that, I am going to change it to more informative.
What I meant was if you want to write correctly a person with ptsd then here have a very simplified version of how a ptsd usually works.
And hopefully many people who are victims of abuse or anything else will be on correct path to healing. Does the artist have a job to do this? Not at all. I wrote the post as information for writers not as rules. And I hoped more fanfiction with helpful info might appear.
I dunno who you met and what kind of traumatic experiences they had. And I of course dont talk about everybody. Thats why I tagged it as very simplified version. What I wrote is the usual way it goes for soldiers in dangerous situations which what was the first ops topic.....feeling of safety after years of war.
The manual I used on myself made by the usa army describes ptsd of soldiers going like this and is used on all ptsd soldiers victims which is why I wrote it as highly pissible for Elrond to have it the same.
Lastly mellon....I am really writting all of this to help people and I am sorry it trigered you. I understand when one simplifies things too much they sound like bullshit. Yes each person is different, each trauma is different and I am not a doctor. Thank you for writting your post and pointing out what I fucked up. I am sure I missed like half of it again so please if you feel like it do respond again. I hope sooner or later we all get both therapy and kind words we need to be happy and healthy just like Elrond. Honestly good for him.
I wonder, after the Third Kinslaying, when was the first time Elrond felt truly, actually safe again
I just mean. like. no matter how kindly Maglor treated the twins, ultimately. no matter that there was love, later. from that day on, it's just, Elrond would know, all the way to his core, that he is small and defenseless and people who are bigger and stronger than him can come and tear his life apart and change it at their whim and he can do nothing but go along with it. and then by the time he is old enough to maybe have a shot at fending for himself... by then there's an ongoing war of apocalyptic proportions, that might wipe out even the strongest who still stand if the fortunes change even a bit. and he'd know it. there's nowhere that's really safe and no matter how strong and brave and skilled someone is they can only affect their own happiness and survival a little bit
by the time war of wrath ends it's decades since he last knew true safety, he's known practically all his life that the world is not safe and his life could be shattered to pieces at any moment with very little warning... even when the peace comes you don't just easily shake a lifetime of knowing that all the way to your core
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trashmancer · 2 months ago
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Messy sketch of more Gale bruises and blood ❤️‍🩹
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dustbunsinspace · 11 months ago
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Part of 🟢 Leo gets Overwhelmed au🟢
Aah, I’m so happy I made it in in time! 💙✨ Merry Christmas, tumblr nation! Here’s a little comic about 03 Usagi and Leo going so see the Rockefeller tree after the events of the Christmas Aliens episode.
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Little post about events earlier that night
Also this is literally how maskless Leo looks to me, he’s so moomincore ;
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nashvillethotchicken · 3 months ago
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I wonder what Louis’s doing now that he's living alone for the first time in 145 years
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misc-obeyme · 5 months ago
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Barbatos is loved for his perfection, but what if we love him and were not perfect?
This is something I think about a lot. Barbatos is famously good at everything he does, and while that may simply seem impressive and admirable. I van only ever imagine it being slightly painful. Yeah, at the start, I'd be like "Wow, I love my multitalented boyfriend. I love to watch him work his magic." But then when it comes to something I also love doing, I'd just feel inferior.
I'll be using gardening as an example. I love gardening! I've had flower and vegetable gardens my whole life. In fact, I just planted one for this season, and I like to think I'm pretty good at it. So, when I ask Barbatos for some help with my garden, it'll all be fine and dandy, and we'll have a nice little gardening date. All is well until I go to the Demon Lord's Castle and bare witness to the huge gardens with herbs even the masters couldn't cultivate. (Simeon mentions this about Barbatos' Dark Thyme, I believe. Could be wrong, though)
So now, whenever I ask Barbatos for help in my garden, I can only feel that he's bored and believes I'm doing something wrong because he is so much better than I.
Even if it's not him who harnesses a skill, just someone he knows. Barbatos is the butler of the future king of the Devildom, meaning he attends all the balls, meaning he sees the live orchestra. Imagine how inferior I would feel when I find out Barbatos has seen the best cello players of all time play in front of him several times over. Do you think I'd ever want to play for him after that? No way!
That's another thing I often think about. Just the fact that he's done or seen far better shows of skill would completely put me off and make me not want to show him anything in the first place.
I know he'd say I'm silly and reassure me he loves me no matter what. He doesn't care about my level of skill! BUT I CARE ‼️
I think perhaps you're missing one very crucial thing here. Barbatos would love to help you with your garden because it's yours. He would love to hear you play the cello because it would be you he gets to hear. He would see you putting your heart and soul into something you love and that's the part that would matter the most to him.
Imagine that someone you love, who has never gardened before in their life, decides to start a garden. Would it bore you to help them? Or would you see that as an opportunity to flex your own gardening skills? Maybe you tell them about things that messed you up in the beginning and save them from undesirable results. Maybe you feel happy when they succeed because you gave them good advice. Maybe they come across a problem in their garden that you didn't have to deal with in yours, but with the experience you already have about gardening, you're able to help them find a solution.
I feel like I can give some insight on this concept in a more general sense and inevitably it informs how I think Barbatos would be.
I'm kind of known irl for being "the writer." And that means that people want to show me their writing. I've never once read someone else's writing and been like, wow I'm bored and I know I could write this so much better. It isn't my story. It's theirs. And it's theirs in a way that is unique to them. I could never hope to replicate it. Just because they're not as experienced at it as I am doesn't mean it isn't just as important as anything I've written. I get excited when I see people writing because I love to write and now this is a passion we share.
I think Barbatos would be absolutely thrilled that you enjoy gardening. Because it's something he enjoys, too. I don't think he would ever compare you to anyone else, whether you're gardening or playing the cello or writing or even making tea. It doesn't matter how skilled he is or how perfect he is. What matters is that you're doing something that you love and he gets to share a piece of that with you.
Everything has been done before and there will always be someone better at something than you. What makes that thing special is that it's yours. And I can't imagine for one second that Barbatos wouldn't understand that concept on such a deeply fundamental level that he probably doesn't even realize it.
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sysig · 1 year ago
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He needs so much attention, all the time (Patreon)
#Doodles#Wander Over Yonder#Commander Peepers#Lord Hater#Wander#Death Glare#Wandering Eye#Those first two made me start a whole new page just to get them out of my head and then a bunch more followed lol#Early Death Glare maybe? First coming to terms with his massive crush? Just an average day of being Commander Peepers? Who's to say lol#The idea of him vibrating out of his skin trying to not act weird around Hater is very funny to me haha#How do act normal around the guy you like when it's just you two but in a professional setting?? Training didn't cover this#Meanwhile Hater is oblivious obviously haha#They have to be mismatched - one has to be like ''Oh grop I love him so much but can never tell him'' at a time for the max comedy of errors#Peepers is so small I can't get over it lol#And then a little Wandering Eye for the road <3 He can't be emotionally open so much of the time!#Anger is about it and even then it mostly manifests as frustration - he sublimates it into work as much as he can#Anger is hit or miss depending on what Hater's willing to put up with too ahh#Give this man a therapy session and a box of tissues pls#Is it because it's fun to draw his whole head/face crying? Shhhh that's irrelevant (it's not) lol#Wander always has a hug ready for whoever needs it <3#Sweet lad#Both of their feet are really fun to draw too haha - Peepers' are like plush and pillowy#While Wander's are so stretchy and squishy and silly haha they're fun to pose!#Been so happy with the points of contact lately as well ah ♪ Knees and ball of the feet touching the ground! Yes!
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wow-an-unfunny-joke · 7 months ago
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Group Counseling for previous Dungeon Lords-
Mithrun and Thistle get caretakers and do fucking hobbies or smth
Laios gets a dietitian
And Marcille is just kinda there
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heartshattering · 6 months ago
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5 AM
Just me and my overactive mind facing the nighttime again 🙃
#hopefully the meds work but while waiting for them to kick in I get so damn nervous#and sometimes I do get nights where even on my full dose my anxiety is too overpowering and I just. Do Not Sleep#I mean I do eventually but not without spiraling first :')#way before I was prescribed sleep meds my longest was 3 nights without sleep while on a VERY stressful trip#I felt like I was gonna die and I did not sleep until I got off the plane and was back at home#(this was like 15 years ago already but it still haunts me fhfgsgdh)#my best friend and I were having a conversation today#and she was like 'not sleeping can make you hallucinate right?'#and I was like :') I get the hallucinations in other scenarios too#BUT I also get what she meant#not sleeping is really bad for me mentally which is why I can't do 'sleep restriction therapy'#and fun fact#a lot of my OCD obsessions revolve around sleep!!!#which is 'awesome' because laying in bed with insomnia makes my OCD flare up so like#the two get to feed off each other and make my life a living hell!!!#and don't even get me started on my sleep paralysis episodes#(which I like to think of as just my brain misfiring but that my aunt tells me is saints or demons trying to talk to me)#'cause she hallucinates too but hers are like 'spiritual' or whatever#same with my mom's hallucinations as well#and to add fuel to the dumpster fire of my mind and body is the fact I've been overcaffeinating again#which I've known not to do ever since I was in middle school and saw the pediatric cardiologist who specifically said 'hey don't do that'#fast-forward to adulthood and I still haven't learned how to handle anything#like. I have heart meds and sleep meds and migraine meds and IBS meds#and yes meds are good but like. I know you need to incorporate lifestyle changes as well#which I do for like 2 weeks until the next time I fuck up#I've been so irresponsible lately but like. ESPECIALLY today#didn't eat#took some meds on an empty stomach and forgot to take my other ones at all#had too much caffeine#stressed out over some stupid situations thanks to overthinking
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infinitelystrangemachinex · 6 months ago
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Mel for the unhinged character bingo!
yessss YEEEESSSSSSSSS
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#ask me#so Mel is in the unenviable position of being a very strong character whose rights I support and whose wrongs I also fully support#BUT the way she's treated broadly in the fandom is so pervasive and so consistent and so frustrating to me that#I am in full -must protect my blorbo- mode with her at all times#-Mel's story is over so the only thing left for her to do is die-#-if Mel dies then J can get together with V and they will appreciate her for her sacrifice bc she died a hero who rejected Ambessa-#enough! enough I say!#what about proving to ambessa that she can take the throne for herself? what about the angst of defying her mother and her home country#and opposing those in Piltover who DO want war and want to raze the undercity#what about the magic that she's heavily foreshadowed to have and how it's different from hextech#and how it directly opposes but also parallels what is happening to Viktor#what about her -friends- abroad and the plot Mel was cooking through all of season 1 that has not been revealed yet#there's so much potential for her to have to confront the fact that J was slowly becoming a monster through season 1#and that she can't ignore the undercity forever#also what if whoever Ambessa says killed her brother comes after Mel too!#it is very frustrating to see Mel get dismissed as dead or evil or irredeemable or whatever when she is consistently#the most interesting person in the room in every single scene she's in and the character who shows the most conviction and change#so yeah i will take a bullet for her she is my blorbo I will despise any character who hurts her#and I would cradle her in my arms if she gave me a chance - which she would never! - but a girl can dream#however I also enjoy leaning into the idea that Mel is perceived as being a devil from the outside - Mel leans into it too when it serves#but it's in direct opposition to her ironclad values and the personality that she keeps hidden a layer down#I genuinely think that Mel will have a happy ending - or at least as happy an ending that an Arcane character can get lol#like I fully believe she will take the throne (Piltover) in the end but I can only guess at this point what that will cost her#I love putting Mel in situations but mainly to play with both how creative she can get and also how fucking far she will go to win#which is ANOTHER thing we know is probably true about Mel but has not been put on display yet#also Mel has already done a great job at separating what she wants for herself as a person from just being Ambessa's daughter#but Mel still deserves to get plenty of great therapy for that situation because OH GOD THAT CHILDHOOD FLASHBACK#also Kino is dead? maybe dead?? at least Mel fully believes he's dead so she needs therapy and hugs for that too#I am super normal about her can you tell
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kavehater · 7 months ago
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AAAH I have a mutual who’s 18 and he sorta kinda is flirting with this one guy who is a minor as a joke of course ( to which a concerned anon said that it’s weird ) but I can’t help but flashback to er*s
#granted the er*s situation was thoroughly complex and the reason she did those things was her copism with not being able to pull ( LLLLLLL )#and ik that guy doesn’t mean any harm etc etc he’s not messed up like some ppl#BUT I DUNNO STILL#sobbing#they’re pretty sweet so#hes*#OH AND HES IRAQI TOO I LEGIT COULDNT BELIEVE THAT#dora daily#lowkey kinda sorta sad that a whole anon was more concerned than ppl i knew and who knew my age#and freely saw it happen so readily#and everyone else on that blog#genuinely and utterly disappointed#it’s always protect minors until the minors need protecting goddamn#this is especially directed at rhy yeah I’m not censoring that#🤷‍♀️#too busy simping over minor characters who don’t have a time skip in canon and aging them up then complaining about it when ppl call out#the brain deadery of that behaviour#girl pls#you did not care about minors from the beginning literally bye#e[redacted] literally ruined my brain chemistry to say the least I will never go into how what she did absolutely muddled my brain never#told anyone and I don’t think I can ever tell someone ever#not to mention practically hyperventilating being unable to breath literally going into madness and ppl think that I’m overreacting and#telling me to shut up about it and blaming me for the situation as if I wanted any of this#lmaolmaolmao#all that and I was expected to do uni girl byeeee I need a good century to recover at least ☠️#the only thing I DID want is friends but clearly that was a hard ask when ppl can get friends just by existing on this god forsaken app#atp I don’t even know what to say literally just wth#yall say mdni with your dumbass banners and decorate it like something special when yall are the ones to keep from minors you disgusting#wastes of clean oxygen 😭 mdni my foot gross ass adults should’ve never trusted them#the way I’d give them therapy to their complex traumas ☠️ imagine relying on a minor for therapy
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ratcandy · 2 months ago
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grounding techniques sound like such bs until you’re actually in the thick of it and suddenly find yourself counting shit you can touch and hear n etc and suddenly it’s like oh ok. Horrors are done
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faithfromanewperspective · 3 days ago
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need a private tumblr to be an outlet for feelings had while activisming
#look. i know how to do things effectively i'm telling ya#but it's gonna take a whole bunch of ranting to get there first#and something inherent about activism that's actually effective is taking on care for other people's emotions#who are doubtless in much worse situations than me! but at the same time i have feelings and traumas that get triggered#and i have things i need to process and sort through in order to do my imperfect best. when you're in desperation you want more and i can't#blame you for that. but harm reduction also involves optimisation in a sense of how much harm i can personally reduce#and exposure to some things actually REDUCES that and i need to have somewhere to hold space for my emotions processing it#so i either decide fuck it and just post it here and know people are gonna get hurt from the insensitivity and there's no use explaining#unfortunately i have a suicidal ideation trigger at someone being in need and not being able to help them. maybe i can post about that?#somewhere in the limbo of this is not 'okay' per se but the best i can do is better than nothing. we all come together to stand up#against oppressors and shit. but there's emergency aid needed and it really does make me want to die very very quickly#which obviously i cannot get a job and actually help if I do. as in more than unemployment levels of generosity help#and while i can rattle on and on a bit about how our need for aid has the markings of capitalism (need for constant growth/supply)#it's not the fault of people trapped in that who don't have any other way out#sometimes i need to step back and find ways I CAN simplify my life in community to have more to be able to give when needed#because i can't do that for other people but i can for myself#and then i sound self righteous for doing it so i can be generous? so i can not feel helpless and want to die? there's no winning#i am the person who sees someone complain and thinks i immediately need to fix it for them. there's a good chance i will always be#and then i won't realise it but the empathy is the thing that's keeping me depressed and frozen but keeping me alive as well#and honestly i've lived like that for years. i don't have anything but my sometimes pitiful activism to like. enjoy life or whatever#and i do what i always do. one step in front of the other. pray for provision. choose between therapy and donation why am i so caught#up in that? problem solve. what are the needs and what are the other ways of solving them? share it to facebook? i don't know#i'll get there but i really need a job and i need to get a bit better so i can work. that day is gonna come it's just. the meantime sucks
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