#(cuz with alcohol I’m like- chill and reasonable)

[cosmo-spams]

god I wanna just take some Benadryl and sleep

[bisluthq]

When you quit drinking, did you replace that with something else? Like for me, I realized on the weekends if I have something planned, even as late as 3-4 PM, I won't drink that day cuz it's like I know later I need to drive to this thing and go interact with people and be normal. But if I don't have any concrete plans, if it's just like "I need to go to the grocery store at some point today, and then clean my bathroom" then I'm like "why shouldn't I have mimosas at 9 AM?" and then I end up getting completely smashed and can't go to the store later and can't effectively do any chores. I realized that about myself so now I schedule things with friends during the weekends, preferably earlier in the day, so then when I get home I'm like "now it's time to meal prep and clean, and maybe I'll have a glass of wine in a few hours with dinner". Idk I've gotten a lot better at cutting down alcohol, but those wide-open days for me just inevitably lead to me drinking early, even if I've said and committed that I don't want to. It's only when other people are involved in the plans ("I have to meet them here at 1" or whatever, vs "I should go to the store at 11") that I can stop myself drinking. So it's annoying, because I KNOW I can, I just don't have the discipline or willpower to do it if I'm not gonna be directly letting someone down. I don't have anywhere to be til 8 PM tonight lol so even though I was like "it'll be a sober Monday! I'm gonna clean my bathroom and declutter my closer" I still ended up drinking 2 beers and a glass of wine while doing that

ok so this was a lot of how my drinking went dude. Your story is FUCK relatable to me. Except for in the pandemic where I literally wasn’t leaving my house for obvious reasons and then my bed for depression reasons that I do think were interrelated to the drinking (although I’ve been feeling very down the last few days but I’m powering through with no alcohol), I was not a daily drinker and I never got drunk like before important activities or things that I was looking forward to (a few times I did get drunk before social things I was dreading but that’s a separate thing). But if I was just chilling at home, either on weekends as you say or late at night, I would often wind up drinking.

I haven’t replaced it with anything like in terms of substances. I do see myself as California sober not sober sober so I’m open to edibles and shrooms but the thing with me is I’ve never been someone who overindulges in that. It’s something I only do like when I’m with friends who are into that or just with my boyfriend and we want a trippy night. I *have* replaced it with actively getting into other hobbies again and I have a habit tracker where I’ve put in all the things I like to do and if I’m bored I go into the app and look at what I could do today. So personally I’ve got running, yoga, gym class, drawing, Duolingo, reading, this blog, journaling, writing fiction, whatever DIY project I’m busy with in terms of my little furniture stuff, meditation, etc and I track how many minutes and hours a day I spend on all that stuff outside of work which I obviously don’t count in my fun little app. I also try call friends or text with friends if I’m feeling bored like that. And then I’ve been making more complicated food instead of just popping shit in the air fryer or ordering takeout. I have a guitar that I haven’t played in like 10 years that I’m considering starting to play again.

But also it’s just a habit right (well obviously not with people who have physical addictions and there you need to be careful how you come off it) so just… break the habit. Again, I found quit lit really helpful and enjoyed the following books a lot: This Naked Mind, Not Drinking Tonight (it’s a bit heavy in psych babble so not for everyone but was really cool for me), Alcohol Lied To Me, Alcohol Explained, Soberful and maybe ESPECIALLY Sober Curious. There are a couple other really great ones but those stuck out to me. Also reading quit lit just helped me a lot because I was just like constantly drumming it into my head that I don’t need to/want to drink and that it’s the stuff that powers fucking rocket engines right like they use ethanol in rocket fuel lmao idk that I want to put that in my body (but I like Sober Curious in that maybe one day I might idk I don’t know that I want to say “I never ever will” or “I’m powerless over alcohol” because I’m def not lol - the problem is me not alcohol and not me in the sense that I’m like “broken” or whatever). So now I quite genuinely - for right now - don’t want to drink. I’m not holding myself back from it, I’m not counting days until I can again, I am not imposing moderation rules for me, I’m not looking for loopholes and I’m not promising lifelong abstinence. But I just don’t want to right now. We aren’t an alcohol free house - we’ve got fucktons of booze around - and my bf is still having his wine with dinner and beer when he does yard work and actually he even had a screwdriver for breakfast after he joined me for a run this past weekend because that’s what he wanted and I made him run pretty far. I’ve got it available. He is very proud of me and supportive of me not drinking but he also won’t like break up with me if I decide to start up again. I just… don’t want to. It’s better for me. I’m happier without… rocket fuel inside my body lmao because I’m a person and not a rocket ykwim?

This was very rambling but this topic makes me like that. My feeling is if you’re thinking about when you can and can’t drink, your relationship with alcohol isn’t healthy. Again to go back to my edibles thing, which I would have again quite easily, I’ve never in my life had more edibles than I intended to (I’ve had a max of two when my goal was to get fuck stoned and that’s what I did) and I also can’t tell you when I last had one or when I next will (I’ve got a bag of them in my desk but it’s sealed and it doesn’t tempt me). With alcohol I absolutely was counting sober days versus drinking days and how many drinks I had on a drinking day and whether or not a few glasses of wine “even counted” yk? And it was occupying a lot of time and space in my head, even when I wasn’t drinking. So that wasn’t like… healthy. Just removing it has given me a lot of energy and genuine desire to do a lot more hobbies that I like to do.

I also find I do a lot more chores lmao like I’ve always done my chores because I’m not a complete cunt but I often procrastinated with them and I get a lot of the regular ones I do done quicker and more frequently (like cleaning the kitchen), I do a lot more annoying ones more regularly (like taking stuff to the dry cleaners’ which I hated to do because I never drunk drove and like having out and about chores meant I can’t drink and if I did drink then I couldn’t take my stuff in lol so also getting my car washed was one of those too and also like washing my couches which I was doing maybe every two to three months but do every month since I quit drinking and that’s not about driving but it’s about not being able to sit on the couch when I undress it to wash it because obviously I sat on the couch drinking lol) and am more proactive with my DIY projects.

and in terms of what I’ve replaced it in terms of drinks, I’ve been making a lot of mixed drinks (so diet tonic, soda water, with a splash of cranberry juice and a splash of lime has been my favorite but I make other ones too), I drink Corona Zeros if we have people round, I’ve been making a lot more tea and coffee, and I’ve been drinking Diet Red Bull if I want “a buzz” lol. Also just sparkling water. And flavored sparkling water. Idk it’s been really easy once I decided on it and it keeps getting easier tbh not harder - like the first weekend I’d quit, we were sitting waiting for a takeaway and they didn’t have any AF beers on the menu and they advertised lassis but were out of them and I just didn’t order anything and felt a bit annoyed with my bf drinking his beer but that hasn’t happened again and idk I’ve been out and about and I’ve entertained at home and like I say it’s not that I don’t have it in the house or that I can’t say “cool look I did it for over 2 months so now I’m done like clearly I can stop whenever I want and now I want to start again” but I really just… don’t want to start again at this point.

Hope this helped a bit and just so you know your “boozestory” (as Ruby Warrington of Sober Curious calls it) is completely normal.

[obiwhat]

WHAT IS UP BESTIE I RETURN

Levi desperately chasing the drunk and numb feeling and actually goes straight to alcohol poisoning and never even got to taste the feeling of being drunk 😭 cuz Ackermans are just built ✨ different ✨

RAE IM FINALLY ANSWERING THIS IM SO SORRY LMAOOO life has been kicking mine ass

but i hope u enjoy what i whipped up for ya~~ i ADORE uuuuuu <333

Sentiment:

(warnings: spoilers for S.3, drinking obv, vomiting)

“Levi.” Hanji tried again, with little to no reaction. Levi’s head slumped over his palm. He looked drained from the movement, as his eyes trailed to the chilled window, not towards Hanji.

“How many have you had now?”

“I’m not drunk, Hanji. It doesn’t work. Never has…” His words trailed off, but he was not slurring, despite the collection of bottles lined up neatly by his boots. “Never worked on Kenny either. Though that didn’t slow him down.”

He took a larger bottle, one that was a dark burgundy in color and took a long pull of it. It was some sort of last ditch effort from Hanji’s perspective. They watched the alcohol miss his lips and trailed down the side of his neck, he didn’t seem to care. He wiped it with the back of his hand sluggishly.

The shutters of his window, only allowing a sliver of moonlight, rattling in the windy air.

“Levi.” Hanji began, but didn’t know what they could possibly say. “You know you can talk t—”

“What is there to talk about, Hanji? Fucking hell, everyone just wants to talk, talk, talk. You’re all the same,” he spit spitefully, “All those words mean nothing in the end.”

This wasn’t about them, Hanji knew that. Now, Levi was speaking almost exclusively about…

Erwin.

“I just want to know if you’re alright.”

“Well, then take a look.” Levi swung his arms out wide, giving them a good long look at his state. His shirt was unbuttoned and untucked, his eyes bloodshot and tired… God he looks exhausted.

Nearly a week had passed since that day and they were sure he hadn’t slept a wink. He was burning himself out on both ends.

“You need rest, Levi. Put down the bottle and let me help you to your room.”

“Help me? The fuck are you going to do to help me, Hanji? Huh?” He swung the bottle to his lips again, swallowed then waited for something, anything, to come of it. When nothing happened, he slammed it back on the wooden desk with a bang that made Hanji flinch. “You know? With all your brains, you really are fucking idiot sometimes.”

Hanji tried not to let it build up. They tried to hold back, to not let their exhaustion and repressed anger bubble. But it was futile.

“I’m an idiot? Oh, that’s fresh.”

“The fuck d’you mean by that?”

“Well which one of us chose to bring back a kid instead of our commander?”

Levi swallowed. He went pale, as if hearing the words aloud were just too much. It made this too real.

Hanji instantly regretted it. They wished they kept their big mouth shut. This was most certainly not the time to bring up Levi’s decision.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry, Levi.”

Hanji was tired too. They were under so much pressure to be a commander and… if they were honest, they had considered blaming that on Levi. It should be Erwin leading, not them.

But lashing out like that? At Levi, of all people? It wasn’t like them. Guilt filled their stomach like stones.

“No… No, you’re right,” his voice was frail, hollow. His head hung low.

“I’m not right. I don’t know why I said that. I’m tired Levi. We all are, okay? Let’s just go to bed.”

“I was being an asshole. I deserved it.” But the way he said it made Hanji’s skin chill. His eyes were vacant and cold yet guilt ridden, overwhelmed with guilt.

“Don’t…” Levi stood, leaning against the desk and picking up his bottles below him. “Don’t beat yourself up. You have every reason to resent me.”

“I don’t resent you, Levi. Being commander, the pressure of it… I'm just exhausted. I need you to be okay. You’re all I have left.” They looked at the floor, too ashamed to look towards Levi anymore. “I don’t resent you. Don’t say that.”

They heard a bottle tip on the desk, drawing their attention up again. The largest of the collective went rolling off the wooden surface and slammed with a sharp crack against the floor. Hanji jumped at the piercing sound.

Levi had his palms to the table, his face was pale as sweat dotted his forehead. He didn’t seem to notice the remaining alcohol coating his desk and reaching his sleeves. He blinked once, twice, then shook his head and squeezed his eyelids shut.

“What’s wrong?” Hanji finally asked, hesitantly approaching his desk. As they drew closer they could see the trembles coursing through their friend’s skin. “Levi. What’s going on?”

“I don’t know.” His words came through clenched teeth.

Hanji dared to reach towards him, they put a hand on Levi’s shivering shoulder and helped steady him.

“I feel…” He suddenly heaved in breaths, looking paler by the moment. Hanji’s heart started racing, their hand clenched tighter on his suit jacket. “Hanji I don’t… Hanji… I feel sick.”

“Sick?” Without missing a beat, they slapped a palm beneath his sweat ridden bangs. “You don’t feel warm. Actually, you feel really cold—”

“M-Move.” He shoved passed them, tripping over his legs as he reached out for the bin beside his desk. Huddled on the floor with it tightly pressed to his chest, Levi heaved.

“Oh.” Hanji peered down at him. “That kind of sick.”

Nothing came from Levi’s dry heaving. There were tears forming in the corner of his eyes when Hanji lowered themself to the ground. They put a soft hand on his back and started making slow circles.

“Fuck… I can’t… I hate… I hate t-this…”

“I know you do, clean freak. But you won’t feel better until you get it out.”

“S-Shut up. I’m not going to… I w-won’t…”

Just before he could finish his thought, Levi was sick several times in the bin clutched in his white knuckled grip. He swayed when he’d finished, relying on Hanji to keep him upright.

“Hey. Stay awake, Levi. You’re still looking pretty green.”

“Room’s… S-Spinnin’…” He blinked lazily, his eyes were glazed over and unfocused. “Wha… What’s…?”

“Levi?”

He lurched over the bin but not to vomit, he was falling. Hanji caught his shoulder and managed to scoop the bin off of his lap with their other hand before it could slip as well. In the process, Levi ended up sprawled on the floor with his face pressed to hardwood.

His breaths were raspy and shallow, like he could hardly breathe. Hanji was quick, they put down the bin and got to his side in a heartbeat, rattling Levi to try to wake him again.

“Come on, Shorty. You can’t sleep on the floor, okay?”

Was he drunk? Why hadn’t it hit him before?

Levi didn’t respond, aside from his harrowing breaths. Each one was getting farther apart from the last. His eyes were half lidded, but nearly rolled back in his skull.

He doesn’t get drunk. He said he never has. So what the hell is this?

“Levi. Levi, come on. Wake up, Levi!”

Hanji paused, their breath tightly held within their chest. They thought quickly, if Levi had never been able to get drunk before, maybe his body didn’t know its limit before reaching the level of alcohol poisoning. It was an insane theory but Levi was an insane specimen, and if he was on the verge of alcohol poisoning, there was only one option left. They would have to get rid of the alcohol.

All of it.

Without hesitating, Hanji put their fingers to Levi’s mouth, but before they could even go past his lips, Levi’s eyes went wide with revulsion and he pushed Hanji away, getting sick all over again, this time on the floor. Tears burned their way out of his eyes as he was sick over and over until he reverted back to dry heaves and short gasps.

“Fucking d’gusting… hands are… Dirty…”

Hanji couldn’t help but smirk awkwardly at that. It was relieving to hear that he was reacting as normal as possible even if that meant getting violently ill at the mere thought of their hands.

“How are ya feeling? Less on the verge of a coma?”

He whimpered quietly in between his wracking shivers. Levi seemed eager to look anywhere but in front of him where he’d been sick. His face was paler than they’d ever seen it.

“Alright, good to hear it. Let’s get you somewhere cleaner, alright?”

Hanji had to practically peel Levi to his feet. It was worthless to try to have him walk with legs like noodles below him. Painstakingly, they made it to the couch by his desk without Hanji dropping him.

They sighed, brushing the hair from Levi’s eyes. His face was a permanent grimace now, disgust clearly etched in his features.

“It’s okay. I’ll clean it. I’ll clean you up too, okay? Just stay put.”

It didn’t take long to find cleaning supplies in Levi’s storage closet, aside from miscellaneous weapons and stacks of organized, color coded files. They first thing they did was wet a rag and clean up Levi’s face. The cool water against his skin made him shiver more intensely and complain softly to Hanji between his clenched and clattering teeth.

“You’re trembling like a leaf, pal. Maybe… A blanket?” Levi responded to them with a shaky bob of his head, up and down. They looked around as Levi’s shivers only peaked in intensity. No blankets in the closet, none on the couch with him, of course the man wouldn’t allow himself such comforts. They tried not to roll their eyes.

Without any other choice, Hanji took his scouting cloak from where it hung on the coat rack. As they carried it over, Hanji stretched it to its full length.

This wasn’t Levi’s cloak.

No, it was much too large for him. It was tattered in places, sewn up with care in others. This was Erwin’s, without a doubt.

As soon as Hanji placed it over Levi’s shoulders, he clawed for its warmth and comfort like that of a starving animal pouncing on its prey. Devouring that warmth, Levi curled up on his side looking away from Hanji as they began cleaning the floor.

This man hadn’t given himself the comfort of a blanket for his office in the cold of winter, yet, he had taken a piece of his commander, a comfort beyond other comforts. And even so, it was a reminder of so much heart wrenching lost, it seemed tortuous for Levi to keep. It was a physical indication of a space to be filled, that never would be again. Never.

Once the floor was finally clean, Hanji made their way back over, kneeling beside Levi on the couch. His trembles were slowing in rhythm and his breathing seemed close enough to normal again. His condition was improving with the alcohol gone from his system. But he still won’t turn back to them.

“You kept it.”

There wasn’t much else Hanji could think to say. And Levi of course stayed quiet for a moment.

“‘Course…” Levi muttered finally. “Of c-course I did.”

“Your sentiment always manages to surprise me, Levi.”

They put a hand on his shoulder, rubbed it for what they would excuse for generating extra body heat. Really they just wanted him to know he wasn’t alone. Not really.

“Shut up, Four-Eyes.”

But he didn’t shoo their hand away as it continued to make comforting slow passes over his shoulder.

[splicejunction]

I would normally post this on peach but I don’t want the girls to get mad because I did say I was gonna be normal about it. I have this colleague who’s like a really good scientist and his work is really impressive to me specifically like his influence is the reason I’m getting so obsessed with The Ribosome. and he’s also 50-50 wet-lab and computational biologist so I have really looked up to him scientifically since he joined the company in February and also he’s fun to hang out like we have a lot of laughs and I don’t report to him directly so we can joke and chill even though I’m a research assistant and he’s a senior scientist and then on top of that he is like the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen and recently we’ve been going out for lunch every Wednesday as rebellion against toxic startup culture cuz everyone works through their lunch. And he’s an accomplished home-chef and he’s really horrified by my 23-year old taste in food and alcohol so he’s like trying to help me develop more refined taste in various ways like we were all out as a company at this restaurant and I was talking about my experience was wine and he was horrified about the bad wine that I’ve had in my life and he was like “next time my wife and I go wine tasting we’re taking you with us.” girl. Girl don’t say that to me!

[cherryatiny]

𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳: 𝐒/𝐎 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦

𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠: 𝑎𝑙𝑐𝑜ℎ𝑜𝑙 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 (𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑖'𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔), 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑓𝑙𝑢𝑓𝑓, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑏𝑖𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡𝑦

𝐺𝐼𝐹𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑒, 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑑𝑖𝑡 𝑔𝑜𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑜𝑤𝑛𝑒𝑟𝑠

⩥ 𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠

„Y/N pass me the bottle.”

Said the stern voice of your best friend Hongjoong, you were at a bar, with your other friends, celebrating Hongjoong's career success.

He finally got the chance to join a musical company and fulfil his dream of becoming an artist and a song producer.

Seeing your best friend happy that his dreams came true made you sincerely happy of course, but a small part of you was kinda sad about that.

Hongjoong has been your crush since you two were kids and now, that he is going to become a well-known artist, he'll for sure find some hot idol-model girlfriend and your love will go in the drain.

Maybe it was the alcohol in your blood, maybe the pent up rage and courage that made you confess.

„I have a confession to make... I-i love you Kim Hongjoong.”

Everyone looked up at you in disbelief, it was until you felt your stomach tightening from embarrassment, urging you to vomit, running out of the room to a restroom to push it out, without knowing Hongjoong was following you.

As he saw you scrunched and hugging the toilet he came to you, to hold your hair from falling into your face.

„I may like you too, but that's something we'll talk about once you are sober."

⩥ 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐰𝐚

„Oh, come on, it would be fun, trust me.” Bullshit.

Going out with your best friend Seonghwa and his crush "to support him" was never a good idea.

Not only did you have to observe the cringiness of Seonghwa's love blind actions, but also see his crush treating him so poorly since she clearly did not have any interest in him.

As the movie ended and it was time for you to go home, you stood in front of the cinema with Seonghwa as he bid goodbye to the girl.

„Bye, be careful on your way home and have sweet dreams, I hope we could go out on another date soon.”

„Ah yeah, sure, bye."

You sighed softly, how could he not see the disinterest. As he turned to you, to thank you for helping him overcome this evening, your words stopped him before he could even start.

„Seonghwa, please stop hurting yourself by loving someone who's clearly not interested, when I've been showing you affection and interest for two years."

„What? Yo-you like me?”

As you realised what you've just said, earlobes and cheeks turning red from the embarrassment.

„I mean... kind of.”

⩥ 𝐉𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐮𝐧𝐡𝐨

„Y/N, I'm waiting outside the house, come on, let's go.” said Yunho over a phonecall.

You were celebrating the end of the semester with your classmates, and since you've had some drinks in you and despite that, you didn't know how to drive, you had to call your friend and deep-down also crush Yunho either way.

Rushing out to finally see your crush, you were met with the breath-taking sight of Yunho leaning to his car, one hand scrolling through his phone, the second one chilling in his pockets.

„Yuyu, my love, you’re here.”

„Gosh, Y/N you’re so drunk, I’m glad you called me and didn’t try to go home on your own. I don’t want to imagine what could’ve happened.“

„But nothing happened since I called that handsome guy I love.“

Yunho shook his head at your drunk talk, were you talking about him? Not knowing the sincerity of your words, but in the depth of his soul, he hoped the words that came out of your mouth were true...

⩥ 𝐊𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐞𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐠

„Happy Birthday dear Mr. Kang, happy birthday to you.“

Handclap noisier than the song of celebration for your boss, Kang Yeosang.

Although being a CEO, he was really warm-hearted and kind, not like the basic CEO type who’s cold and arrogant.

Being his secretary helped you to get to know him better over the years, but also made you grow feelings for him. You sometimes just zoned out and stared at his handsome face for hours, just like now.

„Y/N, can you please follow me to my office, I need to talk to you.“

You had no idea what Yeosang wanted to talk about, feeling only one emotion. Fear. Did he find out you like him? Did you do something wrong? Is he going to fire you? As he closed the door after you two, you couldn’t even look him in the eye, rather observing your high-heels.

„Y/N, what’s with you these days? You seem... different. Your mood’s been down lately, you’re impercipient. You know you can tell me anything, i want my most important employee to be happy.“

Employee. That’s all you were.

„I know you’re probably gonna get mad and I fully understand, feel free to fire me, but truth to be told, over the years I’ve been working for you, I grew feelings and I just can’t get over it... I-I love you, Mr. Kang.“

Yeosang’s face went pale, absorbing the words you’ve just said, mind going blank from the sudden confession.

„I don’t know what to say, Y/N. I mean... you’re a nice, young, hardworking girl, but.. I-I might need a few days to let it sink and think it over.“

⩥ 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐧

San's hips moved to the rhythm of the music, his hands on the waist of some random girl, their sensual dancing just irritating you.

It wasn't like you and San were dating or anything, but you still couldn't stand the thought of him being with anyone else. An annoyed groan coming out of your mouth as you picked your glass and took a shot to drink away those thoughts. San taking the girl by her hand and coming your way.

„Hey Y/N I just wanted to say goodbye, since I’m leaving with Sora to my place, if you need anything you can call, but I don’t think I’ll be able to pick up, since my hands will have other work to do, so rather try Seonghwa.“

„Yeah, I thought so, just don’t forget to wear a condom when you get your dick wet, cuz it looks like you’ll end up with STD.“ you responded, rolling your eyes at him.

„Why are you so rude and foul today, are you jealous because I get some pussy and you’re left with no dick because no one wants to approach you since you’re so mean? Get your act together and we can talk tomorrow.“

„No San, you want to know why am I so cheeky? It’s because I have to watch the man I love fuck around with a random hooker. Go enjoy your dick appointment now, you must be busy.“ Without thinking of it any more, you left him there, your aura for sure full of pure rage.

⩥ 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐠

„Ew fuck no, Yeosang that’s nasty, I wish I could go back in time to five minutes ago when I didn’t hear this confession“ laughed Wooyoung at Yeosang’s confession in the game truth or dare.

Wooyoung took the bottle from Jongho’s hand, ready to spin the bottle and let it pick another victim of his stupid asks and dares. Spinning the bottle, it landed on you. Wooyoung's eyes already glistening from the excitement of daring or asking you something.

„So, Y/N, truth or dare?”

„Dare” a playful smirk finding its place on Wooyoung's face

„I dare you to kiss the person in this room, you have feelings for.”

You immediately started to regret telling him, that you like Mingi, the look in your eyes scolding him.

„Okay, but you all have to close your eyes.”

The 8 boys and your other 3 girl friends closed their eyes, as you hesitantly got up, making your way to Mingi, your crush of 5 months. Sitting on the ground next to him, your fingers landed on his jaw as your lips met his. Mingi’s eyes shot open as all your friends started applauding at your confession.

„I-I think i have feelings for you too Y/N...“

⩥ 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠

You were currently in the changing room, packing your belongings, to take from your workplace. You decided to leave your job as a makeup artist and stylist for the group ATEEZ. The reason was the fact that you liked one of the members and didn’t want to cause any problems to the groups, you knew it was inappropriate to like him, but it was irresistible.

You attached feelings for Wooyoung when you first started to work with them. All eight boys were absolutely amazing, but Wooyoung was just... different. He sparked a flame of interest in you, his personality, his talent, his looks, all those drew you to Wooyoung.

As you cleaned all your makeup brushes, the door to the changing room opened, as the figure of the aforementioned boy stood there.

„What are you doing Y/N? Why are you packing your things, are you going somewhere?“

„I’m leaving, Wooyoung.“

„What, why?“

„That is none of your concers.“

„It is, you’re my stylist, but more importantly, you’re my friend.“

„Yeah, that’s the problem Wooyoung, I’m your stylist - your colleague, that’s why I have to leave.“  

„Why would you have to leave because you’re my stylist, what ar-“

„Because I like you Wooyoung, okay?! That’s why I can’t keep on working with you and mix my feelings into my job, it’s inappropriate, now if you excuse me, I’m leaving.“

The boy stood there as a column, without any movement. Should he go after you, accept your feelings and then you’ll keep on working with him and being his friend, or should he stay there and not go after you? Either way, it was already too late...

⩥ 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨

„So, what’s new in your life, Y/N? We haven’t seen each other for a long time because of our busy schedules.“ Jongho said as he sipped on his boba tea.

„Well, not that much happened in my life. You know how it is, a lot of work and stress, and lesser free time and sleep. I’ve bought a new notebook since my old one broke down and uhm... yeah well... I’ve been catching feelings for this boy lately.“

„Wow, really? I’m so happy for you Y/N, tell me more about it, I need to know what kind of a boy owns my bestie’s heart.“

„Well, he’s a really talented singer, he’s kind and funny, he’s more of an athletic type, hmm... and he’s really really strong. But he’s for real one of the nicest and best persons I’ve ever met, I like him, but I don’t know whether to tell him, because I'm not certain of his feelings...“

„Wow, he seems to be a nice guy, but don’t be blinded by your feelings, if he doesn’t like you, let it be, I don’t want you to get hurt, because of some stupid boy who won’t acknowledge the feelings such a beautiful and amazing woman like you has for him. Anyway, do I know him or who is he? I’m like really really curious right now.“

„It’s you Jongho.. you’re the boy i like.“

[legendaryoikawa]

haikyuu boys protecting your drink at a party

warnings: mention of alcohol, language

note: female reader insert

this is for anon, who requested for a part 2.

Can I request Nekoma, Fukurodani, Inarizaki boys + Iwaizumi protecting s/o's drink at a party? I hope it's okay that I picked 9 names. It's the same amount as the Karasuno one

bokuto kotaro — pls take note the shining of his eyes when you approached him and asked him nicely to look out for your drink while you go fetch something,,,, he is really happy that you trusted your drink to him and he will guard it with all his life HAHA bokuto ur a fucking cutie hdvdhdvs so when a random drunk guy told him you were with him and he wants to claim your drink,, bokuto will be all serious and agitated like “fuck you” and will march away with his cake looking for akaashi HAHA 😂😂

akaashi keiji — pretty boy will gladly take your drink with no complaints or whatsoever,,, akaashi will most likely throw away his red cup so his 10000% attention is focused entirely on your half-filled cup. but akaashi is that typical guy that calculates everything and is aware of his surroundings so he MIGHT be fetching a new cup to give you when you come back since he doesn’t really trust the whole idea of red cups and parties,,, (mind u there are plenty of what ifs scenarios playing in his head and he thinks it’s much better to get a new drink cuz he knows it’s much better and HE a gentleman 🤤)

konoha akinori — konoha is a quiet lad,,, the sign: don’t touch, dangerous,,, is best to describe him. quiet, observant yet taunting so don’t ever mess up with him,,,,, typically he would casually taunt you out why would you leave your cup under his supervision yet after hearing your pleads (and your state the you need to go to the bathroom) he’ll be holding in while looking out for his teammates,,,, he would just glare at someone who would try to approach him for no definite reason and might be holding out his middle finger if he’s feeling a little extra ☺️☺️☺️

iwaizumi hajime — he’s known as a reliable person but sometimes stubborn. so when you went up to ask him to look out for your drink, he’ll deadpan “why should i?????” and acts cold,, but you leave it near him anyway because you had no other choice,,, and second after you left,, he holds your cup near to him lol 😂 and might resort to violence when a dickhead tries to spike up your drink rawr rawr 😳😳

kuroo tetsurou — king of provocation himself would be so flustered that you really made your way uo to him just to ask him to hold your drink for you but despite his shock,,, his perfomance ain’t slick,,, in a way that he would let out spiteful remarks when a guy would persistently ask for your drink,,,, “man... are you sure you are a grown up guy? a child knows what mind your own fucking business means, yet you don’t???? sucks to be... you” a knife isn’t the inly thing that is sharp,,, count kuroo’s tongue and hair 🤧❤️❤️

kenma kozume — he doesn’t want to be in the party in the first place (and we all know he’s just dragged out by kuroo) nevertheless,,, will likely to protect your drink in his own fucking cute way. of course his portable game console will always be with him and we’ll note the occasional cute beep bop beep bing noises being flooded by the chaotic music but anyways,,, he will guard your drink by covering the opening with his psp ✨✨✨anyways stan kenma✨✨✨

yaku morisuke — he’s probably at the bar island, chilling like usual with your drink on his left and his cup on his right,, would throw hands especially when bunch of guys made fun of him and his height,,, but he is a responsible guy because before kicking asses he asked the bartender to secure both drink then proceeds to roll his sleeves hdhdhdhd 😂😂

miya atsumu — before any of the people dared to mess up your drink, atsumu has already his plan started up,,, and before anyone would dare to mess up with him,, his snarky remarks are already ready,, making anyone leave the party... crying HAHAHAHA

miya osamu — would straight up glare at every person who’d dare go two meters near his safe environment. you don’t even need to worry ‘cause he handles your drink too protectively— grabbing the cup as to not let anyone near it, all while shooting daggers with his eyes. man is scary i’m telling u 😔

this was rushed and i apologize for being inactive since university is nearing and im not ready to go online learning HDHDHHSIS and ive been practicing to play the piano but my fingers are struggling jdhdhd anyways! ENJOYY :D

[writingtoforgetreality]

Too Close To Home (Malcolm Bright x Reader)

Request: Hi! I'd like to request a Malcolm Bright x reader or OFC story. Malcolm and the reader know each other since a few years. The reader has grown up in an abusive family and also has anxiety. They spend more time together cuz of a case. When the reader gets into danger, Malcolm saves her. He guides her home afterwards. First he doesn't want to come in but then they spend the night together (smutty or not, whatever you prefer). Afterwards they experience the most peaceful sleep they've had in ages :) (by @angelicastiel), [Prodigal Son-Masterlist]

Summary: Another case you & your team got to work on. This time, though, the backstory of the killer hit a bit too close to home. Still, you wanted to get the job done & arrest the murderer. There would have been a better, less dangerous way, but you could not change your actions anymore. And maybe you got something out of it. Something you had been wanting for the longest time.

Words: 3,827

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, angst, language, probably spoilers for season 2, father figure!Gil, little kidnapping situation, talks of murder (I mean, it’s Prodigal Son), first time writing for Prodigal Son (even though I do feel kinda confident writing for it, idk…let me know what you think)

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

Being part of Gil Arroyo’s team was a dream coming true. Your years in college were spent working your ass off in order to end up in a job like that. Not only did Gil give you a place to work, he also took you under his wing. Talking about your past was something you dreaded but somehow you found yourself opening up to him. He knew about your parents & could tell when things started becoming too much for you. Throughout your time at the NYPD, you got closer with your team. Dani & JT had become your best friends. Malcolm, on the other hand, had been a different case. While the two of you sure were friendly with one another, you slowly developed a little crush on the profiler. Who were you kidding? You had the biggest crush, it was kind of embarrassing. Especially because Dani & JT teased the living hell out of you. Luckily, Gil had yet to notice. You did not want to bring private business into your job.

This case had been a tough one. Not only that but it hit too close to home for your liking. The killer you had been looking for left you a letter at the crime scene. It was a man who had been abused by his parents when he was younger. In that letter, he explained why he did what he did. Like, yeah, you came from an abusive household, too, but you were not running around, murdering a what looked like innocent man. Like, chill a bit. Gil pulled you a few feet away from the scene after you all had finished reading. This left Dani, JT & Edrisa alone with looking for more details. Malcolm was still nowhere to be found, even though all of you had tried calling him a couple of times.

“Maybe you should sit this one out.” Gil’s hand was on your shoulder, keeping you an arm’s distance away to take a look at your face. He knew right away that you were thinking about your own parents & sometimes things could be messy if private stuff got mixed up with work stuff. Again the reason why you kept your feelings for Malcolm at bay.

“Gil.” you sighed. “I’ll be fine. Besides, you guys need me.” Gil hated to admit it but you were right. The team was lost without you & nobody knew if your killer was planning another crime while you were inspecting this scene. A voice interrupted your conversation & both, you & Gil, looked at where it was coming from. Would you look at that. Malcolm, everyone. Fashionably late, as always. Why did he have to look so good though? Ugh…

“I heard there was another murder? What have we got?” Malcolm, being his usual self when it came to crime scenes, directed his questions at both of you.

“You would know if you decided to show up sooner.” Gil gave him a tight lipped smile & you could hear the sarcasm in his statement. Yeah, nobody could ever stay mad at Malcolm for a long time. Except maybe JT. But he seemed like he was just pissed off by whatever Malcolm did. That was why they were such great friends.

“The guy left us a letter, kind gesture, right? Edrisa should have it.” your arms crossed over your chest to hide how bad your hands were shaking. The action did not go unnoticed by Malcolm, though. He could tell you were uncomfortable. Your anxiety seemed even worse than usually. It was not like you ever opened up to Malcolm about your struggles. You had found it hard to talk about your feelings, even when you talked to Gil. But since Gil had become some sort of father figure to you, you found it a little easier to open up to him. The thing was that Malcolm was working even when he was not working. Which meant that he was profiling others even outside of work. It was not hard to notice your trembling hands, your bouncing legs, your struggle to keep eye contact. He could tell that your anxiety was bad. Most days, you hid it rather well, he had to give you that. A normal person would have never noticed anything wrong with your behavior. Malcolm, though, knew better & while he did not know what had happened to you in the past, he knew you were struggling nevertheless. But he could worry about you another time, for now, he had to focus on the crime scene.

As Malcolm walked over to where Edrisa was standing, you pulled at Gil’s hand, motioning him to follow you. Edrisa handed over the letter & explained briefly what they had found so far. You knew what was about to come. As did everyone else, so you quieted down & let the profiler do his job.

“Our dear murderer wrote the letter after he killed James here. The ink is too fresh & some of the letters are smudged. The printer in the office was still running when you got here, right?” this earned him a nod from Edrisa. “No fingerprints, though, he was smart enough to wear gloves. Which brings me to my assumption that he had planned this long beforehand. The bruises show that he was strangled & while we still have to wait for the autopsy, I’m almost entirely sure that he was killed because of that. I believe the stab wounds were caused after he died. The way his words were written sounds way too passionate for an accident. No, this guy, he was enjoying it. If it were an accident, he would have left the scene way sooner. But he took the time to type a letter & print it, to complete his mission by laying it right on top of our victim’s chest.” Malcolm finished & looked around to find everyone rolling their eyes except for you. Whenever he started rambling & piecing evidence together, you simply stood there mesmerized. This time was not different. His eyes met yours & he shot you a little smile which you copied.

“Anything else you wanna tell us? Like, why you’re way too excited about this entire thing?” JT spoke up. You gave him a little slap & chuckled.

“Don’t act like it’s something new.” laughing when you looked at his face.

“Okay, guys. Wrap it up here, we need to continue this at the precinct.” Gil’s authority voice came through & you all knew better than to mess with him.

Malcolm, Dani & JT were already in one of the offices when you & Gil came in. Usually, you asked Gil to take you everywhere, mostly because you got rather shaky during cases & you did not trust yourself enough to drive on your own. Gil told you he did not mind at all.

“Found anything useful?” you asked when you entered & looked over JT’s shoulder to make out what he was doing on his laptop. Malcolm stood at the front of the room, right in front of the whiteboard & was too busy sorting his thoughts to even notice you. Dani told you that they had no luck just yet & soon you found yourself helping them with research, something you were incredibly good at. Gil had left for a while but when he got back, he brought each of you a cup of coffee, knowing it was bound to be a long night without much rest. Being the stubborn person that you were, you declined his request of you calling it a night & heading back home. You were onto something & could not stop right now. Gil let the topic die down with a long sigh. The five of you spent the entire night looking for clues & connections & by the time the sun started rising, you had a plan filed out to catch the killer.

After hours of research, mostly from you, you found out that the victim had very wealthy parents. Parents who loved their kid like nothing else. Parents who would do anything for their kid. Checking his social media profiles, you could tell that he was not silent about his wealth or the love he felt for his parents. “Enough to get our killer started.” Malcolm had said. It took you a while but after checking James’ classmates, you had a suspect & after checking his social media accounts, you knew where you had to go to catch him. Sometimes, things could be so easy, so clear to see. Probably a bad idea to expect you were right with everything but you had a good feeling. Yet, you could not quite understand how someone could kill just because of envy. Just because they did not have what someone else did.

Your suspect spent almost all of his evenings in a local pub, not too far away from the precinct. It was a small pup, not a lot of people, but since it was Friday, you expected it to be filled tonight.

“Why does (Y/N) have to be bait again?” Malcolm asked after discussing the plan yet another time.

“Because she looks more like a guest of a pub like that. You would be out of place, so would Dani & JT.” Gil reasoned. He did not like the idea either but it was probably the best shot they had.

“Right, because if I make an effort I can actually look like an alcoholic. Is that what you’re saying?” despite your chuckle, you found yourself growing more & more nervous. Malcolm noticed right away, didn’t comment on it though.

“What I’m saying is that we all want this asshole locked up & I don’t want you to look like an alcoholic. I want you to go there as if you just got done with work for the day. Take a seat at the bar. We’ll be connected with you this entire time, we’ll hear your conversation. Wait a little & if he doesn’t approach you then you will. Understood?” Gil looked around the room, kept his focus on you, though, & when you nodded he told you all to head off & get this party started.

 “You’re nervous.” you flinched when you heard a voice beside you. Malcolm. Of course.

“I’m not. Just preparing myself.” you did not mean to sound this harsh but he did not really pay attention to that.

“So your shaking hands are a form of preparation?” he teased but you could not focus on his way of calming you right now. Your anxious mind was killing you.

“Look, Mal, I need to go, okay? We’ll talk later.” & before he even had the chance to answer, you were sprinting off.

Ordering a strong drink at the bar in the hopes of it calming your nerves, you tried acting as if you did go out every night. In fact, you were highly uncomfortable. Crowds made your anxiety act up & pubs were usually worse. Drunk people wanting to get laid or whatever. It just was not your world. Anyway, you had better things to focus on. Your suspect had already walked up to the bar & took, much to your dismay, a seat too far away from you to start an actual conversation. Quickly informing your team, an idea popped into your head. He would start taking an interest in you if you got him to grow envious. So without overthinking, you grabbed your phone from your purse & pretended dialing someone.

“Hi mom! How are you?” as much as it hurt saying those words, you felt accomplished when you noticed the suspect’s eyes on you. “Great, as always! We still on for lunch tomorrow?...Perfect! Actually, I wanted to thank you for the purse you got me! I found the package earlier today, you are crazy. That’s way too much.” if it were not for your job at the NYPD, you would make one hell of an actor. Deep down, your heart was breaking a little more with each word you said. “Oh? I’m your favorite daughter? I’m your only daughter, mom, but thanks.” you gave a genuine, or at least you hoped it sounded genuine, laugh & continued. The man had already made his way over to you & took the empty seat next to you. You had him, not fully but almost. Just keep going, you thought to yourself. “Tell dad I miss him, too! I’ll make sure to meet up with him soon. A much needed father-daughter weekend. It has been too long…Alright, I love you too, bye.” you ended your call & placed the phone back into your purse. Gil would kill you after you finished this case. Once again you were improvising but at least it got you here, sitting next to a possible killer. Possible killer? No, you knew it was him. He made it rather obvious after that fake phone call. Thinking about what you had just said on the phone got cut short by the man beside you speaking up.

“Sounds like a nice mom.” a drink in his hand, his gaze not focused on you but on the liquid in his glass.

“Oh, she’s the best. I’m lucky to have her. Same goes for my dad.” these words hurt so bad & if you were not so focused on arresting this asshole you would have started breaking down right in the middle of this bar.

“I’m Enrico, by the way.” he held out his hand for you to shake which you did.

“(Y/N).” faking another smile at him, you were surprised that your silly plan actually seemed to work. This dude was desperate. And it made him extremely dangerous.

“(Y/N), wanna head out & catch some fresh air? This pub is filling up.” he placed money on the counter, paying for not only his but also your drink. Thanking him, you got up. When his hand grabbed yours, you slightly flinched but did not pull away. The thought of your team waiting outside with handcuffs made you breathe easier. Arriving outside did not exactly put your mind at ease. Where was your team? Just when you wanted to turn around, you felt a strong grip around your waist & a cloth being held in front of your nose & mouth. There was not even enough time to scream before you were met with darkness.

Loud voices woke you up. A gunshot. Shit, why could you not move? Where the fuck were you? Looking down at your wrists, you saw them being chained tightly to a chair. Suddenly, a person was kneeling in front of you & you were surprised to find Gil helping you out of the chains. His mouth was moving but your heartbeat was too loud to make out any other noises.

“Have you got him?” Gil rolled his eyes at your question but soon after, nodded. This could have ended badly for you & he was just happy to see you alive & breathing.

“You hurt?” this time his voice was more serious. He looked you over but besides the bruises on your wrists, you seemed fine. Shaking your head no was enough for him to drop it for now.

“That was stupid, (Y/N). We could’ve walked in there & just arrested him in that damn pub. Why did you think it was a good idea to start this whole pretending thing?”

“Could we please not do this today, Gil? I’m tired.” you felt ashamed, embarrassed that you did not handle the situation better. Usually, you were way more careful when it came to other cases. You could not even tell why you thought you needed to act out an entire scene. It felt like the right decision at the time.

“Malcolm? Come over here.” Gil decided to let you rest for tonight but he sure as hell would teach you a lesson tomorrow. He could not have another person risking everything & acting irresponsible. He already had Malcolm. No need to have another one like him.

“(Y/N)? Oh, thank God.” Malcolm came jogging over to where you & Gil were. A small smile started forming, signaling that you were fine.

“Take her home with you. She shouldn’t be alone tonight.” & with that he left you & Malcolm alone.

Two hands came into view & you let yourself be pulled up into a standing position. Malcolm still held onto you since your legs were on the verge of giving out. After a few seconds, though, you felt steady enough & thanked him for helping you. Without another word, he took your hand in his & dragged you outside to his car. Any other day, you would have blushed like crazy but your exhaustion was overpowering your crush. Malcolm opened the passenger side for you & helped you in. Then, he got around to the driver’s side. His body turned towards you & when you noticed that the car still had not been started, you found Malcolm staring at you. Your eyebrows shot up in confusion. After a long pause & a deep breath of his, Malcolm’s voice broke the silence in the car.

“That was-“

“Stupid, I know. Gil already told me.” usually, you would have sounded sarcastic but tonight, you did not have the strength to try & act like you were fine. Because if you were honest, everything that had happened got you thinking. Not that you could have died but everything that had happened with your parents. How awful they treated you. How abusive they were. Not trying to start another conversation, Malcolm started the engine & drove up to his apartment. Gil’s order, after all. Though, he had to admit that he liked the idea of you being close to him. Hell, he could have lost you today. He could have lost you & you still had no idea about his feelings for you. Simply because he was too much of a coward when push came to shove.

The car ride was silent & the tension could have been cut with a knife. Once or twice you almost started talking, wanting to explain yourself. Why you were so exhausted. It was not the first time you got close to death but it was certainly the first time where your past came catching up. Each time, though, you chickened out.

“I’m sorry.” it was you who spoke up first when you entered Malcolm’s apartment.

“What for?” Malcolm turned his focus back to you.

“I made this case unnecessarily hard for you guys. I should’ve handled it better. It’s just…this thing with this fake phone call, it was…fuck, how do I say this?” the last part you mumbled to yourself but when Malcolm spoke up again, you knew he had heard you.

“It’s okay. Gil told me about your parents. I get it, I do. I probably would’ve done the same thing & then it would’ve been you & Gil telling me I was stupid.” you chuckled lightly & Malcolm was happy that you were not mad at him for knowing about your past. He had been aware of your struggles before, now he could finally tell where they were coming from.

Strangely, you felt a weight lifted off your shoulders, now that Malcolm knew. At least you knew he would never judge you, he had his own…familial issues after all. Tears started forming in your eyes & you tried blinking them away angrily, frustrated that you were losing it now even though the situation had been dealt with.

“Come here.” Malcolm opened his arms & you gladly accepted the invitation. Throwing yourself onto him like your life depended on it. His arms wrapped strongly around you. Not in an uncomfortable way, more like in a comforting way. The two of you simply stood in the middle of his apartment, not saying anything, he let you cry it all out & in that moment, it was all you needed.

“Thank you. Sorry for messing up your shirt.” a quiet laugh escaped you. It was not much but it was a good start.

“It’s no problem, really. Here, I’ll bring you some clothes to sleep in, I’m sure you don’t wanna sleep in work clothes?” Malcolm opened one of his drawers & grabbed a basic t-shirt & some sweatpants. Not much but definitely way more comfortable than what you were wearing right now. This was not your first time being at Malcolm’s home so you helped yourself & moved into his bathroom to take a quick shower & change into his clothes. It only took you about ten minutes, you were craving sleep.

“You can take the bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.” Malcolm was setting up his couch to sleep on when you came out of the bathroom.

“Nope, forget it. I wont let you take that couch.” you argued.

“Hey, it’s a comfortable couch!” he defended his way too expensive piece of furniture.

“What about your restraints?”

“Don’t need them when you’re around.” Malcolm let slip without much thought. Only when you tilted your head & raised your eyebrows did he realize what he had just said. “I mean…I don’t know. I’m usually much calmer when I’m with you.” It was funny to see Malcolm trying to explain himself. He was embarrassed but you were putting a stop to it right away.

“Okay, so I guess it would help even more when you’re right next to me, am I right? Your bed is big enough, Mal.” your sweet smile was convincing enough & soon you found yourself laying on one side of the bed while Malcolm was occupying the other.

For a few minutes, neither of you moved or said anything. The silence was not uncomfortable, the situation was still new for the both of you. Yet, you knew what you wanted. What you needed. So you grabbed one of Malcolm’s hands, turned around & let his arm fall around your waist. This action caught him off guard but he relaxed into the new position quickly. While the both of you still had not confessed, this felt like a step into the right direction. You felt safe in his embrace & knew you could be your true self with him. No hiding whatsoever. That thought made you smile. Exhaustion soon took over but the last words you heard before falling into a peaceful slumber were: Sleep well, (Y/N). I’ve got you. Afterwards, he pressed a light kiss on your shoulder & fell asleep himself. Tonight, your struggles could be forgotten. At least for a few hours until morning came around. Then, you still had enough time to deal with whatever was happening between you & Malcolm. Tomorrow, you could deal with your past some more. But right now, all you wanted was to have a peaceful night & Malcolm could give you just that.

Published (03/25/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @fandom-queen67, @cons-tit-ution, @where-thesundoesntshine, @itsanemu0101, @chill-fangirl, @angelnyx, @octopus5555, @the-unknown-fan-girl (thanks for your support <3 - sorry if I tagged you mistakenly/please let me know if I did)

[ssa-babygirl]

Out of My League [Part 4]

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Single mom!Reader

Word count: ~3.2k 

Summary: Why on Earth does everyone think you and Spencer are dating? That’s just ridiculous! Right?

Warning(s): the pining is strong with this one, alcohol consumption, i think there were like one or two swear words?? pretty tame

Author’s Note: OH MY GOD WE’RE BACK AGAIN!!!!! yeah it’s been WAyy too long I’m so sorry guys. ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!!! I’m almost done with the next part so the wait won’t be NEARLY as bad this time around. Ok love yall hope you like it!!!

[Previous Part] [Series Masterlist]

The play was a lovely way to spend your evening. You could hear Spencer beside you muttering the words along with the actors. The monologues were beautiful coming from the talent on stage, but it was nothing compared to your best friend’s whispers when he thought you couldn’t hear him. You looked straight ahead to the stage, fearing that he’d stop if you indicated that you were listening, but you still felt his eyes on you as he gently uttered, “I’ll follow thee and make a heaven of hell, to die upon the hand I love so well.”

Hearing the words you had read and swooned over countless times before coming from Spencer’s soft voice made a shiver run down your spine. 

Spencer Reid did not just give you chills, that did not just happen, you told yourself.

The chill that ran across your body contrasted nicely with heat in your face when you felt his gaze roll over your features. You didn’t always like the feeling when someone’s eyes were on you, but something about it being Spencer’s eyes felt… right. You weren’t uncomfortable, quite the opposite, actually. You found yourself being overjoyed in your seat, but you couldn’t tell yourself why.

Or at least you refused to.

When the show ended, Spencer led you out the door you entered from, and you left the library with a dopey smile on your face as you stepped into the chilly autumn night. The sun had gone down during the play and the streetlamps glowed white against the black sky. 

“You hungry?” Spencer asked.

“Starving.”

“It’s a little late for dinner, you think we’ll find a place?”

“It’s only eight o’clock, there’s gotta be somewhere.”

“A McDonald’s maybe?”

You laughed harder than you normally would, but his smile when he made his joke pulled an airy giggle from your lungs that you had no control over.

You wandered for blocks, finding restaurants that were still busy with long waits. A cute ice cream shop caught both your eyes from across the street and you and Spencer thought the same exact thing.

Some things really didn’t change since you were kids.

“You thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Of course I am, Y/N, why are we still on this side of the street?”

You crossed the road together, way too excited for grown adults to be about having ice cream for dinner. There was a line, but it was only a few people long, so you decided to wait for this more than worth it opportunity. As you approached the store, a young family was leaving. The daughter, a young girl in a pink sweater, was so focused on her cake batter flavored cone, she didn’t realize she dropped her stuffed rabbit. Spencer nearly stepped on it, but he picked it up and called after the family. They didn’t hear him, so he went after them and tapped the father on the shoulder.

“Hi, sorry, I think she dropped this.”

“Oh my goodness, Lucy, you dropped your bunny!” The mother shrieked.

“Thank you so much, really,” said Lucy’s dad, “Say thank you, sweetheart.”

“Thank you, sweetheart!” Lucy took the toy from Spencer and smiled.

About ten feet behind the scene, you were losing it. Spencer turned around after the family left and made a face while you laughed your ass off. 

“That was the cutest thing I have ever seen!” You giggled as he held the door open for you, “Thanks, sweetheart.”

Spencer cracked a smile and bit his lips, gaze dropping to the floor as he blushed.

Okay, maybe that was the cutest thing you had ever seen.

“I miss when Jamie was that little. He was so cute!”

“He’s still a cute kid!” The line moves forward, you’re next up. 

“Well, yeah, of course, he is! But now he knows what words mean and that’s not as funny.”

“Children learn through imitation, so it makes sense he copied things you did and said because you're his mom, he looks up to you.”

“He looks up to you, too, you know.” The family in front of you got their ice cream and left, leaving you to order, “Can I get a sugar cone of cookies and cream?” The girl behind the counter nodded and scooped your ice cream. She then turned to a catatonic Spencer, who was staring at you, cheeks flushed and lips parted. He snapped out of it and ordered a cup of rocky road with extra marshmallow fluff on top.

“What are you doing?” Spencer asked as you pulled out your credit card.

“Paying for our ice cream, what does it look like?”

“No, I’ll pay—” He reached for his pocket, but was too slow.

“Oops, too late,” you said, swiping your card and smirking. The girl behind the counter smiled and waved to you as you left. 

“Did you mean that? Jamie looks up to me?” 

You turned to look at Spencer, whose eyes were full of stars as he grinned back at you, “Yeah! Of course, he does!”

“Really?”

“Oh, don’t be so surprised, Spencer, you’re like his real-life superhero. You saved his life, genius, he wants to be just like you.”

“He wants to be a profiler?”

“Not necessarily. He thinks you’re a secret agent. Like a spy.”

Spencer chuckled, “And how do you feel about that?”

“Oh, it’s terrifying, I hate it.”

“Yep,” Spencer spooned some ice cream into his mouth, “That’s what I thought.”

“I mean, Jesus, Spence, I get retroactive heart attacks from all the shit you tell me about your cases, I don’t know if I want my kid getting into that. I’d worry even more than I already do.”

“You worry about me?”

“You can’t be serious.”

“What?”

“You’re my best friend, genius! Of course, I worry about you!”

You finished your ice creams on the metro and walked home in comfortable silence. As you turned the corner onto your block, you grinned up at Spencer.

“Thanks for playing tour guide today. I had fun. Haven’t gone out with friends since I moved here.”

“Why not?”

“Don’t have any friends here to go out with.”

His eyebrows jumped as he sputtered out a sentence, “Oh. W-well why don’t you come out with the team and me sometime?”

“No, they’re your friends I wouldn’t wanna intrude—”

“You wouldn't be intruding, you're my friend too.”

“Spence—”

“One of my teammates is having a dinner party tomorrow night. He’s a great cook and would love to meet you.”

You dug around your bag for your keys,  “I don’t know anyone else on the team!”

“You know JJ! And Derek, too. He’s been asking about you.” Spencer’s eyes dropped to his shoes again as your welcome mat became way more interesting than your face.

“Really?” He pursed his lips and nodded. You thought it over for a moment and decided, “Fine. Text me a time and address.”

His eyes snapped back to yours, “No, I-I’ll pick you up.”

“Woah woah woah, you’re gonna drive me around?” You laughed in disbelief, “Sorry, Doc, I know our whole dynamic has changed a bit ‘cuz we’re both grown-ups now, but I’m not sure either of us is quite ready for that.”

His smile finally flashed back across his face, “Come on, I owe you.”

“For what?”

“You bought the ice cream!” His voice was high pitched.

You matched his tone, “You took me to the Shakespeare library!”

“You took me to McDonald’s 106 times in high school! I’m sure the amount of money you spent on my food could buy the whole gift shop!”

Your jaw fell open, “You counted?”

“I can’t help it!”

You rolled your eyes, failing to fight back a grin, “Goodnight, genius.”

He bit his lips and smiled, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

You jam the key in your door and push it open, closing it with your body as you sigh, leaning your head back against it.

“That good, huh?” Said a voice from the living room, causing you to jump.

“Jesus, mom, what are you still doing up?” You sigh, clutching your chest.

“Well, I put Jamie to bed, I figured I’d wait up for you so I can hear about your date!”

“Wh- mom, what are you talking about?”

“With Spencer! How was your date?”

“That wasn’t a date!”

“Really? So you guys just walked around for hours in silence doing nothing?”

“We didn’t just walk around!”

“So what’d you guys do?” She asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Oh my god, mom.”

“You’re not denying anything!”

“Mom!” 

“You can tell me, it’s just us girls.”

“He took me to the Shakespeare Library! We got ice cream! That’s it! Nothing happened!”

“Shakespeare Library? Ice cream?” her eyebrows darted up so far it was almost like a cartoon character, “Toots, that’s not nothing!”

“It’s nothing. We just saw a play-”

“What play?”

“Midsummer Night’s Dream.”

Your mother closed her book and tossed it next to her on the couch. “Oh! You mean your favorite! Silly me for thinking this was a romantic outing!”

“It wasn’t!”

“Who paid for the ice cream?”

“I did.”

“Did he offer?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t let him.”

Your mother sighed, “You’re telling me it wasn’t a date, but all I’m hearing is that Spencer thought it was.”

“Then why didn’t he make a move?”

“So many reasons! He’s shy! He’s a gentleman! Maybe he thought you weren’t into him.”

“I’m not.”

“Then why are you so upset?”

Is everyone a profiler now? God!

“Mom, it’s getting late, I walked the length of the city today, I’m going to bed. You can stay over if you don’t wanna drive, but I’m getting some sleep.”

“Right, you need to be rested for tomorrow night. Got a dinner party to go to!”

“Were you listening?”

“The window was open just a crack, I may have heard some of the conversation.”

“Jesus…”

“What? You’re meeting his friends already, this is big.”

You groaned, dragging your feet up the stairs to your bedroom, changing out of your clothes, and hopping in the shower before cozying up for bed. Whether or not you wanted to admit your mom was right, you knew she was. And that terrified you. 

             (Spencer’s POV)

I rang the doorbell of her house at exactly 6:30, just like I said I would. Seconds later, the door swung open and revealed her smiling face shimmering with her makeup. I took in her outfit, a cute floral dress reaching the tops of her knees. I tried to make sure my eyes didn’t linger on the neckline for too long when I noticed a thin silver chain resting on her collarbone. A small heart-shaped pendant dangled from it. 

“Wow.” Was all I could manage, “You look—”

“Totally overdressed, right? Cuz I can dress this down a bit, I just need to change the shoes and throw on a jacket. You know what? I have another dress upstairs I’ll just cha—”

“No, Y/N, you look…” Beautiful, enchanting, stunning, like the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen, I thought about saying all of that, but instead, I just said, “Great.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” I tried to say it as sincerely as possible, “Are you ready to go?”

“Yep!” She reached around the door to take a denim jacket from a hook on the wall, throwing it over her shoulders, “Lemme just get my purse—” she glanced around the room and cut herself off with a groan.

“What?”

“I left my bag in my room. Here, come inside, it’s chilly out.” She rushed down the hall to hurry up the stairs to what I’d assume was her bedroom. I stepped across the threshold and into the warm home. There was a faint glow of light from the kitchen, where a child’s laugh bubbled from the room. I followed the sound and found Jamie and Mrs. L/N sitting at the table doing a puzzle.

“Oh, hi, Spencer!” She called.

“Doctor Spencer!” Jamie jumped up from his seat and ran to me, wrapping his arms around my legs. 

“Hey, little man!” I ruffled his hair and flashed a grin to Y/N’s mom. 

I heard the tapping of shoes descending the stairs behind me, “Okay, got everything, you ready?”

I quickly turned around at the sound of Y/N’s voice and saw her smiling at Jamie beside me.

“Goodnight, Jamie-baby, I’ll see you in the morning, okay? Have fun with grandma,” she cooed as she pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

“Goodnight!”

“Bye, buddy!” 

“Bye, Doc!”

“Have fun you two, be safe!” Y/N’s mom grinned as she waved us away.

“Oh my god, mom, stop.”

“Okay! Goodnight, my loves!”

“Goodnight!”

Y/N marched out the door and followed the path down to the street, where my car was parked.

“Last chance, Doc, want me to drive instead?”

I passed her to open the passenger side door for her, “Not a chance, I promised.”

“What a gentleman! Now let’s see if we make it there in one piece first.”

The laugh I let out was half-mockery, half-nerves, as I was not the best driver. I had a Ph.D. in engineering and understood more about physics than most people, but that doesn’t mean I knew how to focus well enough to apply that knowledge. When it is literally impossible for me to forget that I have a 1 in 96 chance of dying in a car accident, my hypervigilance does more harm than good.

“So who am I meeting? Who’s on your team?”

My anxieties were somewhat quelled by the sound of her voice, allowing me to pull my thoughts away from the possibility of becoming one of the 20% of fatal car crashes that occur in intersections.

“Well, you already know JJ and Garcia. Hotch, my boss—”

“Tall, dark, handsome? Never smiles?” 

I chuckled, “That’s the guy.”

“He seems fun at parties.”

“He’s actually not that bad. Just a bit too serious sometimes.”

“Okay, and who haven’t I met?”

“The host, David Rossi, Emily, you’ll love them.”

“Is Derek coming?”

IQ of 187 and I still don’t think anyone could have explained to me why that upset me as much as it did. It’s not like Y/N was my girlfriend or anything, she was allowed to want Derek, most girls did, so there was no reason for me to be jealous. She wasn’t mine to lose.

“Yeah. He’ll be there.”

We pulled up to Rossi’s mansion a few minutes later, after riding in semi-awkward silence. She waited for me next to her side of the car, not wanting to walk up to the door by herself. I reached out to place a reassuring hand on her shoulder as I drew closer. She gave me a tight-lipped smile before dropping her eyes to the ground between us.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m nervous, what if they don’t like me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, what’s not to love?” I didn’t even realize how much I meant those words at the time, so I doubt she understood how serious I was, but her smile softened and her shoulders relaxed slightly under my touch. I led her up to the front porch and rang the doorbell. Shortly after, Garcia opened the door and beamed at the two of us.

“You’re here! Oh my goodness, so nice to see you again!” She pulled Y/N into a hug that she very quickly accepted. 

“Hi, Penelope, good to see you too.” She pulled away and grinned at me, the worry mostly drained from her eyes now. 

“Come here, boy genius, you get one too!” She wrapped her arms around my waist and my face found its place in her blonde curls. We all went inside and saw the whole team sitting around a coffee table with glasses of wine in their hands. JJ put her glass on the table and got up from her seat on the cushy leather couch to hug Y/N. 

“You’re not one of mine, are you?” Rossi sipped his drink and eyed Y/N.

“Um, this is Y/N, my uh, my friend.” I stammered.

“Ah! You’re the doctor’s little lady friend I’ve heard so much about!” Rossi put his scotch down on the table and crossed the room to kiss her on both cheeks, “Lovely to meet you, bella, I’m—”

“David Rossi. Yes, Spencer’s told me about you. Nice to meet you,” she grinned, shaking his hand.

“Ah,” he scoffed, “call me Dave.”

“What? No fair!” Emily piped up, taking a big sip of wine, “You just met her and she gets ‘Dave’ privileges? I’ve worked with you for months!”

“Emily, look me in the eyes and try to call me Dave.” She looked at him and opened her mouth like she was about to say something, but she just took another sip while JJ and Morgan laughed at her.

Hotch flashed a rare smile to Y/N, “Good to see you again.”

“Yes! Glad it’s under better circumstances, Agent Hotchner.”

“Me too. And please,” he extended a hand to her, “call me Aaron.”

This time it was Morgan who spoke up, “No way! Only Rossi calls you by your first name!”

“And me,” Emily mumbled.

“And now Y/N, too.”

“I’m honored, Aaron.”

Looking at her face now all remaining anxiety had just about vanished. I told her she had nothing to worry about, and now she was finally listening to me. Rossi called us all to the kitchen where he told us to grab a plate so he could serve us before we sat down at the table. He gave us each a plate of his famous spaghetti carbonara before taking his seat at the head of the table. The team all chatted about their lives, as we ate. Hotch showed Y/N pictures of Jack on his phone, Emily probed JJ about Will, Morgan, and Rossi poked fun at me for bringing Y/N, but I just rolled my eyes and tried to ignore them. Plates were cleaned, stories were told, and wine bottles were emptied. Mostly by Emily and Y/N.

JJ was the one to try to cut them off, “Don’t you have to drive this one home?” She gestured to me.

She put her hands up defensively, “He picked me up.”

“Reid, you hate driving!” Garcia pointed out, prompting Morgan to spare a knowing glance to Rossi.

“You do?”

“I don’t hate it, I just prefer not to.” I was a profiler, but that didn’t mean I was a good liar.

“Spence, I offered to drive you.”

I shrugged, “I didn’t mind.”

Her eyes lingered on me for another moment before taking another sip of wine and resuming her conversation with Emily. I knew they’d get along. Towards the end of the night, Rossi proposed a toast.

“To familia.”

Y/N smiled, staying quiet.

“Oh, come on now, you too, bella.” He raised his glass to her and clinked the crystal, “You’re stuck with us now, get over it.”

“I’m not complaining, Dave.” Her words were to Rossi, but she never stopped looking at me. Probably just had a bit too much to drink.

Right?

Taglist~~~

Lmk if you wanna be added! Some names didn’t work so if you don’t see your name as a tag just dm me a url and I’ll try to fix it

@lawnmoa @ellvswriting @baby-pogue @rottenearly @confused-and-really-hungry @thatsonezesty13 @deni-gonzalez @irjuejjsaa @randomfandomshitposts @bisoner @moonstarrnghtsky @smurfflynn @eldahae​ @t0xicllama​ @undeniablyyou​ @staplernpaper @theweirdobella​ @sammypotato67​ @k-k0129​ @helloniallslovelies​ @dazzlingnights @uhuhuh @booksarekindaneat @crimeshowtrash

[hecrtfelt]

( fah  yongwaree,  24,  cisfemale,  she/her ) *  hey,  i’m  looking  for  the  office  of  nan  malai.  they’re  the  pilot  who’s  known  around  the  office  as  the  crybaby,  if  that  helps  ?  not  to  be  a  gossip,  but  i’ve  heard  that  they’re  hardworking  but  overly  sensitive,  is  that  true  ?  i  also  heard  that  they’re  the  one  who  quite  literally  cried  in  the  club.  anyways,  here’s  the  coffee  they  ordered.  (  admin  sabrina,  21,  she/her,  est  )

hello  everyone........  this  is  my  baby........  my  princess..........  but  also..........  santos’  mf  babymama  >:)

also  i  will  only  be  using  medium  gifs  for  her  bc  all  i  HAVE  are  medium  gifs  of  her  FALKJFAJLKF

tws:  pregnancy just up there ^,  alcohol  &  drug  mentions

*  statistics  .

full name:  nan  boonsri  malai nicknames:  n/a star sign:  cancer height:  5′4″ hometown:  silom,  thailand  (  10  years  )  /  manhattan,  new  york  (  13  years  ) orientation:  heterosexual office  occupation:  pilot !! positive  traits:  determined,  intelligent,  humble negative  traits:  reserved,  emotional,  impulsive alcohol  /  drug  usage:  mostly  social  for  the  former,  but  she  will  cry  into  a  bottle  of  wine  on  her  couch  every  now  and  then.  does  not  partake  in  any  drug  usage  (  griffin  somewhere  just  went  ???  really  ???  ) theme  song:  crybaby  by  melanie  martinez character  inspo:  bubbles  (  ppg  )  ,  wanda  maximoff  (  marvel  )  ,  izuku  midoriya  (  mha  )  ,  charlie  (  perks  of  being  a  wallflower  )  ,  princess  tiana  (  disney  )  ,  mary  stuart  (  reign  )  ,  bonnie  (  htgawm  )  ,   rue  &  cassie  (  euphoria  ) aesthetics:  expensive  jewelry  kept  in  a  childhood  box,  the  sound  of  raindrops  hitting  a  glass  window,  rosy  but  raw  noses,  a  crisp  white  windowsill  lined  with  dying  plants,  and  that  freeing  breath  of  fresh  air   secret:  can’t  tell  u  but  super  juicy  n  shocking

*  brief  backstory  .

nan  grew  up  wealthy.  she  and  her  older  brother  had  everything  they  ever  needed  courtesy  of  her  successful  pilot  father.  her  father  was  actually  contacted  by  rolfe  masters  one  day,  with  a  job  offer  that  would  double  his  already  generous  salary !!  so  why  would  you  ever  say  no  to  that  !!  their  family  packed  up  and  moved  to  america,  settling  happily  and  comfortably  into  the  upper  east  side.  nan’s  mom  was  a  socialite  and  doesn’t  have  a  real  occupation  (  even  though  she  was  offered  a  spot  on  a  season  for  the  real  housewives  of  new  york.  she  couldn’t  think  of  a  tagline  quick  enough  )  ,  and  it  was  expected  of  nan  to  do  the  same.  marry  rich  and  chill,  you  know  ?  but  her  father  had  taken  her  and  her  brother  on  so  many  flights  back  in  the  day  that  she  couldn’t  envision  a  life  that  wasn’t  surrounded  by  clouds.  her  mom  didn’t  absolutely  love  that  and  was  reluctant,  but  let  her  become  a  pilot  anyways.  so  her  and  her  brother  attended  the  same  prestigious  aviation  school.  he  works  for  luxury  airplane  lines  now,  and  she  got  offered  a  spot  at  masters  the  day  after  her  father  resigned  to  retire.  now  she’s  your  fav  pilot  :)  if  rolfe  sent  you  out  of  state  for  a  meeting  and  you  got  on  a  jet,  9/10  chance  it  was  her  flying  that  jet

*  her  personality,  summarized  .

A  CRYBABY.  BIG  BOO-HOO  BIG  BAWLIN  CRYBABY  !!  she  is  sooOOOooOoOOO  sensitive  and  takes  literally  everything  to  heart.  gets  overwhelmed  and  anxious  super  easily  (  except  when  she’s  in  the  air.  it’d  be  so  bad  if  she  got  overwhelmed  and  anxious  in  the  air  LFJAKJFAJK  ).  don’t  frown  at  her  bc  she  will  take  it  personally  and  go  home  and  cry  about  it  for  4  business  hours.  u  can  def  have  a  conversation  with  her  and  she’s  not  mean  v  often,  but  she  just  takes  things  wAY  out  of  proportion  frequently

*  wanted  connections  . 

exes  (  open  to  m  /  nb  ):  PLS  PLS  PLSSSS   give  me  heartache,  give  HER   heartache unrequited  crush  (  open  to  m  /  nb  ):  gimme  someone  who  literally  has  made  it  so  clear  that  they  do  nOT  feel  anything  for  nan  and  she’s  like  *caillou  voice*  what  :D?  and  constantly  getting  herself  upset  and  hurt  bc  she  liKES  THIS  PERSON  and  they  don’t  like  her  BACK unrequited  crush  but  backwards  (  open  to  any  ):  no  cuz  imagine  someone  having  a  crush  on  NAN  but  she’s  too  busy  pining  after  someone  else/being  dramatic  to  ever  notice  😩✋🏾    fwb  (  open  to  m  /  nb  ):  u  know  the  drill.  she  WILL  think  u  hate  her  if  u  stop  texting  her,  tho ex-friend  (  open  to  any  ):  PLSSSSS  I  LOVE  THIS  TOO enemy  (  open  to  any  ):  she’s  soft  af  but  also  cares  about  her  job  n  being  the  best,  so  i  can  see  there  being  some  RIVALRIES  somewhere.  or  maybe  they  don’t  get  along  for  OTHER  reasons  too flkaflkjafj. don’t   think   she   won’t   clap   back   just   cuz  her   hands   r   shaking best  friend  (  open  to  any  ):  she  needs  ONE,  okay.  can’t  have  miss  girl  talkin  to  her  crystallized  wine  glass  bc  she  doesn’t  have  a  friend KFALJFLJ bad  infleunce  (  open  to  any  ):  SOMEONE  TAKE  THIS  GIRL  OUT  TO  A  MF  BARRRRRRRR  AND  TRY  TO  GET  HER  TO  LOOSEN  UP  PLS  N  THANKS.  like  she  needs  someone  who’s  trying  to  get  her  to  leave  her  shell  and  be  more  bold  and  assertive  !! family  (  open  to  thai  fcs  ):  self-explanatory !!

i  love  brainstorming  so  hmu  to  talk  abt  other  potential  plot  ideas  !!  discord  works  best  for  me  so  lmk  if  u  need  my  name  !!

[batarella]

The Bullet: A Sequel to The Commander - Part 1 (Jason Todd x Reader)

The wait is finally over!!!! The Commander is back and here to snatch our wigs!! I was really really REALLY nervous with this one since the Commander was such a success (to me, anyway. It was more than I could ever ask for) But here you go!!!

Set two years after the events of Arkham Knight.

WORDS: 5115 WARNINGS: Injuries, Sexual Themes, Implied Death, Actual Death, Firearms, aaaaaaaangst

MASTERLIST

THE BULLET MASTERLIST

------

“Excuse me, I’m here to see Jason Todd.”

“Name?”

“Y/FN Y/LN. I’m his emergency contact.”

The nurse looked through her computer. “Room 173. Across that hall to the left.”

“Thank you.”

White walls.

In the distance, near and far, beeping noises at a steady pace.

And the cold, alcohol infused aroma of a chill.

She never liked hospitals.

She tried to make her body as small as she could. God knows what she might contract just by being here. Only looking at the small glass window by the doors, she could already see people so at the edge of eventually falling into death’s pit. That was what this place felt like. Death.

Room 173. His name was on a little sign up front. Y/N held the door handle, closed her eyes. She didn’t know what for. Was she going to have to think this through? Turn back? Leave him when he obviously didn’t have anyone else to go to?

This wasn’t going to go any better than she’d hoped. If anything, it would just give her more reasons to be reeled back in.

She pushed on the door and let an even colder rush of air flow through her.

Jason was on the bed, eyes fluttering open from the light comings of a nap. He didn’t look too bad. Just that there was a bullet hole where his stomach was and bruises on his arms and legs. His face looked fine, not too many new scratches other than the ones that were already there the last time she saw him. He did, however, look tired as fuck. He could barely keep his eyes open.

But when he looked at her, met her eyes, he smiled even when it looked like it hurt. Y/N closed the door behind her and slowly walked closer to the bed.

“Hi,” she licked her lips.

Jason was taking her in, eyes shining. She wanted to look away but couldn’t.

“Hi, beautiful.”

Y/N faintly shook her head and set her hair behind her ear. She was about a yard away from him. Something was pulling her away from standing too close. Probably herself.

“You came…” he said, voice scratchy and course.

But she didn’t exactly know what to say. Not when she didn’t want to openly admit to something he probably already knew, and would only take things to an unnecessary level of hurt. Y/N crossed her arms and stared at her feet. “They called me.”

“Did they?

“You didn’t change your emergency contact.”

Jason lost his smile, then propped himself up to lean against the headboard. “Oh.”

“You sound disappointed.”

Jason snorted. “I do?”

“You didn’t do that on purpose did you?”

“Get shot? Probably not.”

“Jason…”

“Fine. I didn’t change the contact. Forgive me.”

This asshole.

“I’m glad you’re here. I miss you.”

No. Not that conversation. She had to steer it away. Y/N cleared her stuffy throat and pointed at the bullet hole. Or holes. She saw another one just then.

“Mind telling me what happened?”

Jason swallowed, lightly shifted in the bed to allow you to see more of his wounds. Three bullet holes right on his abs. They’ve been stitched up, and he looked completely fine. It didn’t even look like it hurt him.

Though just the sight of it made her skin crawl.

“I thought you hated hospitals.”

“This wasn’t from patrol. Someone was getting raped in an alley and I stepped in.”

“Without your visor on?”

“No. The guy had a gun and I managed to put him down before the woman called the ambulance on me. I didn’t have time to run.”

Jason leaned forward to stretch back his neck. “I’m getting out today.”

“Jason, just stay.”

“No.”

“You could have died.”

“I’m fine. I’ve taken a lot worse.”

Y/N froze, mouth parted, and her ghostly eyes looked on before she forced them shut.

“No, I didn’t mean… I’m sorry,” Jason said.

He started to swing his legs over the edge of the bed so he could reach for her arm, but she backed away.

Jason didn’t want to pry when he knew It wouldn’t go as he wanted. Hands on his sides, he looked to his feet just as she was.

“How are you?” she asked, without so much as a glance to his eyes. He kept sitting on the bed and scratched his scalp.

“Okay. I guess. Sometimes. You?”

She shrugged. “I’m alright.”

“Good,” he nodded. “You should sit down. I’ll get you a chair.”

Jason started to stand up from the bed, but she stopped him. “Just stay there. I’m fine.”

“It’s right over there-“

“Just lay down.”

She didn’t want to sit. She didn’t even want to stay long. Like a tide had brought her here only as needed, but now as she saw the sun hadn’t even set, that he wasn’t remotely as in need of her presence as he claims he was, Jason hurtfully looked into her eyes, backed off, then settled back onto the bed.

Y/N continued to stand on her feet, hugging herself in an attempt to conceal the ache in her chest, looking around and reveling in the silence.

“I should go…”

“What?”

“I came ‘cuz I thought you weren’t okay. But you're fine. You don’t need me here-“

“Y/N…”

“Please.”

He tried reaching for her hand again, but she pushed it away. “No…”

Y/N didn’t hear Jason stand up when her feet slowly took her to the door. She wanted to stay. For her. But for him? Not as much.

But she heard his faint voice. Hurt. Broken. Just as it had been since they first met.

“Please stay…” he said. And if she weren’t wrong she might have noticed that crack in his voice that came up when he was about to cry.

Her hand on the doorknob, Y/N didn’t know whether to scream at him or herself, or just at nothing until that stinging in her neck would fade away. Or get worse. Either way, she just wanted to scream. She wasn’t supposed to come, but when the hospital called they made it sound like Jason was about to die. “Y/N… Please… Don’t leave…”

She closed her eyes.

In a way, he did need her.

She took her hand away from the door.

With the pain ever burning, Y/N took slow, uneasy steps to the chair, grabbing the back of it so she could haul it to Jason’s side. When she caught his eye, there was that widening, a shine at moments when he saw smidges of hope. She didn’t want him to hope.

But he needed her.

Though, without a doubt, she needed him, too.

“Okay...”

Jason nodded. Too vigorously though he obviously wanted more. She stood in front of him.

Y/N reached over to hold his hand, and immediately he took it between his fingers. “I’m here…” she said to him. Jason forced himself to bite back a smile. Or a tear. Y/N stood up to prop his pillow to the headboard. “Lay down.”

He did as she told him, slowly moving past the bruises to sit up on his back. She continued to make sure he was comfortable, brushing her hand against his face. He took it and placed a light kiss on her palm. Without flinching away, she smiled.

“Thank you…” he said to her.

“You need water?”

“No. I’m good.”

Y/N took her seat, inched closer to him so she’d be able to place her arms onto the bed, then tried to fall asleep with him despite the discomforts.

As she was just about to drift off, she felt a hand entangle itself onto her hair.

It was just at the ends at first, the ones splayed out onto the mattress, touching and feeling it against his fingers, until eventually it had trailed further up to her head, her scalp, soothing her the way he knew she liked.

Y/N didn’t move, as much as everything told her to.

She shouldn’t. for her sake. For his sake. But god, she missed being touched so delicately. She just closed her eyes, pretended to sleep. So long as he thought she didn’t notice, it should be okay.

Then a nurse came in with a clipboard. She shot up and Jason immediately withdrew his hand away.

“Mr. Todd?”

“Finally,” he flinched as he sat up. Y/N stood by his side.

“You his girlfriend?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

She and Jason eyed each other down, and the nurse stopped flipping the pages midway to look at both of their faces frozen awkwardly.

“Ooookay,” she continued chewing on her gum. “Mr. Todd seems to be doing pretty well.”

“Can I go home now?” Jason said, and Y/N nudged his good shoulder with her wrist.

“Should be good by tomorrow evening. Your body’s holding up a lot better than we expected. You know, for someone who got shot three times. You can stay if you want.”

She was referring to Y/N. Y/N started to speak against it, tell her that if she wasn’t really needed, she should be out of the way, but when Jason gave her that worried look in his bright blue eyes, she didn’t.

“Okay,” she said.

When the nurse left the room, Y/N fixed his pillow again and reclined his bed.

“Go to sleep, Jay.”

“I’m not tired.”

“You,” she said. “Look like shit. Go to sleep.”

Jason couldn’t help but smirk. He let her fix the bed, then he laid on top of the pillow hoping to reach for her hand, but Y/N inched too far for his reach. They fell asleep after a few hours. And in the morning, she helped Jason with his breakfast, her knowing he would have handled it all on his own but let herself revel in the time when she had it.

He got out of the hospital before it got too dark. Y/N drove, all the way over to their old apartment. Jason had a slight limp up the steps, but he didn’t need much of her help to move.

It was dark inside. Neither of them turned the lights on when she helped settle his things on the couch and Jason went to the kitchen. The air was stale and musky. Clean. Everything around her was clean. The sheets were neatly folded on the bed she could see form the bedroom door slightly open. The bathroom looked spotless. The kitchen, just as always. She really wasn’t needed here.

“Can I make you anything?”

“No.” She stood by the door. “Thank you.”

“You didn’t eat today.”

“I’m fine. I’ll eat at my place.”

Jason placed down the cups, hands on the counter. “You can stay a bit longer…”

There was a frog in her throat. She could feel it, croaking and pushing out the walls of her neck just to stop her from saying anything at all. Anything that made sense, really.

“Jay, I can't stay-“

“Why not?”

“Because-“ she raised her hands up, but they fell to her thighs as she walked over to lean against the kitchen counter. “You’re obviously well enough to lift a tank. You don’t need me here.”

“Who said I didn’t need you?”

“You don’t need my help.”

“It’s not your help I needed. It’s you.”

“Fucking hell,” she swallowed. “Is that why you called me?”

The frog was still there. Shit.

He picked up the mugs and turned on the coffee machine. Y/N crossed her arms, looked the other way, and when the machine stopped, Jason handed her a mug.

“Just take it.”

Without glancing into his eyes, Y/N took it with both hands and basked in the toasty aroma. Just to calm her down. Jason leaned against the island counter and watched her sip at her drink.

“You dating anybody?” he asked.

She wanted to throw the mug at his face. Scoffing, she said, “What does it matter?”

“It’s just a question.”

“You think I threw what we had because I was interested in dating other people?”

“I didn’t say that.”

She set the mug aside. Both of them had their hands placed on the counter, staring into nothing like it was infinitely better than catching each other’s eyes.

“I’m not.”

Jason lightly nodded his head. “Okay.”

“You?”

“Not right now. No.”

She crossed her arms, thinking if it would be the right time to just barge out and end this painful fiasco. Y/N had barely finished her drink. Sliding off the counter, she cleared her throat.

“It’s late. I’m leaving.”

“Y/N…”

“Call me if there’s an emergency.”

Y/N hastily went for the door, but Jason held it back with his palm.

He stood over her, closer, close enough to make her feel his breath. Y/N looked anywhere but his eyes, but he’d pushed her against the door, her back flat against the wood, and as she looked up she saw his eyes despite the darkness.

“Stay. Please,” he breathed. And his breath, so hot and everything she’s kept to remember, Y/N gulped and opted to just close her eyes so she wouldn’t have to look at him.

“Jason, stop.”

“I can't take this anymore-“

“I had to leave you…”

“It’s been six months, Y/N, how long do I have to go without you?”

She felt his nose touch the bridge between her eyes. His eyes were as shut close as hers. “Jason, don’t make this any harder.”

“You love me. I know you still do.”

“Of course, I do,” she breathed. “I love you more than anything…”

“Then stay. Please.”

She opened her eyes.

Beautiful. Everything about him. The fading ‘J’ on his cheek, his lips, his eyelids soft and fluttering at every miniscule movement.

She missed him. All of him. His voice. His body. Him.

Y/N leaned up to his lips, just as he was about to kiss her himself. He was softer than she would have thought, and she breathed in to make it deeper, breathier, heavier. Just a night. It wouldn’t hurt.

Well, it would. But she’d be hurting anyway.

She held his face and started kissing his cheek, his jaw, then her teeth sank in to his neck. Jason breathed in when he felt her hands hover over his chest, going further down to his liking.

She moaned as she held his waist and pushed him against the counter. Jason her face so close he could only smell the fading scent of her neck, her lips, the light traces of smoke so often on her clothes after all the guns she’s had to fire.

This had happened a two months ago, when they crossed paths and spent a long night of hot passion. And the next day, she’d be gone. Just as she would be again by tonight.

Jason, as much as he wanted her. As much as he wanted to do everything to her to convince her body to want to stay with him, to enjoy her while she was here…

She wasn’t going to give him what he actually wanted.

“Take care of me tonight…” she said to his ear, biting down as her hand felt over the bulge in his pants. Fuck.

He wanted to do so much to her. Everything. Fuck, the things he’d do. Months without her, all those trailing thoughts when he missed her body as much as he missed her soul. This. This had always been the best way to express their love when neither of them were too comfortable to be all mushy and sensitive. Sex. Only with her. Just with her.

And she was there, hand on his member begging for him to throw everything away and have her just for the night.

Just for the night…

“Y/N…”

And it took all his strength to hold her wrist and pry it away from his pants. She stopped, stared at him confused.

“Jason…”

“I don’t want you like this,” he held both her hands, feeling her want to step away. “Not just for a night.”

“Then what is it?”

“I want you. Here. Every day…”

“Jay…”

“Why can't you look at me…”

And she did, right into his eyes. It hurt all the more to do this to him as she looked straight at his face.

“I can't… Please.”

“When are you going to realize that what happened wasn’t your fault-“

“IT WAS!”

Silence. Jason bit his lip, but never once took his eyes off her. Y/N, on the other hand, looked like she wanted to jump off the window.

“I can't live with what I did…”

“And I can't live without you, Y/N…”

“Jason,” she gulped. “You didn’t deserve what I did to you…”

“It’s been done. What do you want us to do about it?”

“I thought I needed time but I can't even look at you without seeing-“ she covered her trembling mouth just as she felt the beginnings of a stutter. Jason breathed out, leaning towards the kitchen counter.

“I can't,” she said. “I’m sorry…”

“Y/N…”

She left. She didn’t give him a chance to say goodbye. The door shut behind her and it was like the first time she’d left all over again.

Jason felt the bullet wounds ache. Everywhere, it ached. His hands, his chest, his head. He didn’t know what he did wrong, if he even did do anything wrong. What had he done to make her stay away from him and not falter? What had he done to make her not love him enough to want to stay?

He didn’t want to stop trying to get her back.

One of these days, if she stays true to her word and never does come back, he’ll have to take the littlest steps in letting go.

Even when neither of them did anything wrong. Even when it wasn’t his fault as much as it wasn’t hers.

The kitchen counter almost broke in his grip. Because he knew, if he was in her place, if he’d done what she did to him, he would’ve done the same. He would have left her for good, never to return. He would have begged her to let him go. Now, on the other side, being the receiving end of being left behind, it hurt even more. He had to let go.

Let go.

Jason walked over to his closet, pulled out a box he’d stuffed into the back where it wasn’t so easily found. Keeping it had always been for no other reason than to hurt himself with the constant reminder of how he’d lost everything that day. Everything he’s sought to love and care about. When after just two years, he’d grown from a man about to take over an entire city to this.

His hands shaking, he pulled out from the box a small, unused pair of light blue sneakers, fit for the size of the tiniest baby. A month or two months old. His finger could fit into the soles, and he let his thumb brush over the fabric longingly.

And despite the stinging pain, Jason walked over to the bathroom and threw the shoes into a trashcan.

He shouldn’t have held onto it for so long.

As the lid of the trashcan closed, he fell to the floor and broke down.

-----

Nothing but her wrist gun.

Without her mask, Deadshot sat at the top of one of the apartment buildings in Otisburg. Right by the vents, she placed her legs over the ledge and adjusted her optics.

She pulled out her phone and waited for the other end of the line to pick up.

“Hello?”

“Yeah, I’d like to speak to your boss,” she said as she heard a light female voice. Probably his secretary.

“Mr. Falcone isn’t available.”

“Tell him it’s the exterminator for his little rat problem.”

She heard shuffling, voices, an old man’s booming voice screaming before it eventually mellowed down. Eventually the phone was given to him and his loud, overbearing voice hurt her eardrums.

“What?”

“I’m in position. The target’s coming a little late.”

“I told you not to call until you’ve done your job.”

Deadshot twirled her mask over her finger. “You know how my uncle worked, Carmine. You don’t see results ‘till we see the numbers in our accounts.”

“Don’t piss me off. You’re here on Floyd’s debt.”

“Sal Maroni’s about to close in on a deal of a lifetime and in just-“ she looked at her watch. “Five minutes from now, you’ll be out of business.”

“What could you possibly fucking want from me?”

“A million dollars.”

Chuckling. “I can kill you. Right now. One call and a sniper will take you out.”

“If you don’t remember, I’m the best sniper in town. I’ll have a bullet in their heads before they can even find me.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“Are you threatening me?” she said into her phone. Her optics lit up. Maroni had arrived in the casinos.

“Five armored cars and ten bodyguards,” she whistled. “What’s it gonna be, Carmine? You have three minutes.”

“You honestly think I’d-“

“Floyd used to ask double from dickheads like you. But I’m feeling nice. A million dollars. Into my account. Now.”

“A million dollars for a single man?”

“I’m the kind of pest control who takes note of the kind of rat to deal with and charges accordingly.”

“You-“

“This is Sal fucking Maroni, Carmine. Pay up. This is the last of Floyd’s debt and you’ll never have to deal with me again.”

She heard curses and mumbling of almost every swear word she knew and didn’t know. A beep on her phone. One million dollars had been sent into her account.

“Thanks, Carmie.”

“Do your fucking job.”

Shrugging, satisfied, Deadshot pulled on her optics. Almost a thousand years away.

Sal Maroni, a stout man of average height with a large cigar between his lips pulled up in front of Casino Gotham, surrounded by guards armed to the teeth. He was smiling, hands up in a smug demeanor. The guards blocked the view but all she needed was a split second of a window. Deadshot held out her wrist, waited.

Breathe.

In.

Out.

She fired the shot.

From a thousand yards, the bullet shot through the cold Gotham air, past civilians and cars and windows, and it entered right into the Sal Maroni’s temple, spattering his blood all over the red carpet. His body fell to the ground, and all units, bodyguards, armed soldiers around him, scattered around.

Deadshot pulled on her white mask and ran off the rooftop, jumping across with her grappling gun as her communicators started picking up the voices.

“It’s Deadshot!”

“Send her location!”

“Get her!”

Helicopters. They’re bound to get her. These people were quick on their feet. Probably expecting this to happen. Deadshot jumped off the roof, feet flat against the wall as she held onto the rope, and slid down to the ground with a loud thud. She landed on her knees.

Looking up and around, she started hearing the choppers’ getting closer to her.

Deadshot sped to her bike, started the ignition, and fled into Gotham’s heavily condensed streets and traffic. She should probably lose the bike. She wouldn’t be able to outrun a helicopter. Passing through the bridge between Miagani and Bleake, Deadshot almost slammed head first into a car, until she wheelied up, let the wheel get caught on the roof, and rode right over it.

She slammed the throttle and curved into every space she could squeeze into.

Police sirens. Trailing right behind her. She looked back and saw a couple cops on bikes on her tail. Curving to the left and letting her hand graze the cement roads, she started riding through the sidewalk, with everyone screaming out of the way. The moment she heard gunshots, she pulled out her wrist gun and started firing into the air.

Already, she could hear the TV shops air breaking news on Maroni’s death, followed by live footage of her, on her bike, with five cops on motorcycles and a chopper coming straight for her.

Then the chopper started firing.

That wasn’t the police. That was Maroni’s, or Falcone’s men.

Probably the latter. It’s the only way they could have found her so soon. She should have known that mother fucker would take her out the moment he’d have nothing to do with her.

Either way she had to run.

She went back out into the streets and the gunshots went on. People were running, screaming, causing more of a scene than she’d hoped. Cars started to stop, and the spaces she could drive into started getting smaller. Fast. Incredibly fast. She reached an intersection, with the lights on red, and watched on as two trucks started running past each other.

She pulled the throttle.

Leaning to the side and feeling her helmet drift against the cold, hard ground, sparks started to ignite at the friction between her bike and the road as she slid under the first truck, narrowly missing the wheel, then into the second. As the wheels closed in, she felt the whiff of air driving out into the open road.

She looked back. It won't be too long before the cops can catch up.

But that’s when the chopper started firing at her again.

BAM!

The back wheel had been blown out, and her bike suddenly gave out and toppled over, sending her body flying into the air. Her back hit the ground and she rolled onto the cement. Fuck.

Easing her muscles, hand on her shoulder in the hopes that it wasn’t dislocated, she rushed into the alleyways and climbed up a fire escape.

Deadshot ran through the rooftops, bag in hand, until she ultimately threw it aside so she could jump to the other roof.

More gunshots. These fucking men were insane.

Turning on her optics, she got the AK strapped to her back and aimed as she ran.

She shot the gunner at the opening, then he fell all the way from above and landed straight for the cement.

More gunshots. They had a machine gun strapped to its sides. Deadshot started firing at the windshield, shot after shot until she’d hit the pilot.

The chopper sped forward to hover in front of her so she couldn’t fire.

“Son of a bitch.”

Deadshot jumped off the ledge, grabbed onto a fire exit railing and ran to a ladder to slide all the way down to the ground. She only had so much time before the chopper turned towards her. She ran down the alleyways, avoiding the streets.

She went into the darkest one, throwing a grenade at the other side to throw them off. They started firing where she led them and stopped when they couldn’t see her any longer.

She saw a small door leading down to an abandoned basement, with nothing more than a cloth over the entryway to block its passage. Deadshot went in, wrist gun ready, and kept her eyes on ground level. She took off her mask, adjusted her optics. No one was within a few yards away.

She waited, didn’t force herself to get out even when she’d been there for a while.

Then she turned on her communicators to connect to the GCPD’s network line.

“She’s gone.”

“Keep on the lookout.”

“You think she got Red Hood behind her back on this one?”

“Nah. They haven’t worked together in months.”

“What do you think happened?”

“I don’t know. Broke up?”

She scoffed and cursed beneath her breath.

“Speaking of. Red Hood’s steering his own trouble over at Chinatown.”

“Ah fuck. You think Gordon’s sending us over?”

“Think so. He’s on a fucking massacre on Penguin’s goons. Man’s not in a good mood.”

She heard something outside. Aiming her gun out, she waited for any heat signature to come close. But there was nothing. Thankfully.

“That’s it. Can't find her.”

“They’re calling backup over at Bleake. David’s got this on Deadshot. We have to head over.”

“Copy.”

She kept the communicators on. Just to keep tabs on what was happening. To him. If anything, she’ll climb out and help him if he needed her to.

Then her phone started ringing. Unknown number.

Deadshot looked around. No one was there.

Her finger hovering over the screen for the briefest minute, she accepted the call,

And froze when she heard a familiar woman’s voice on the other end of the line. A voice so deep, calm, reserved, and utterly terrifying.

“Y/N…”

“How the hell did you get my number, Waller?”

“You wouldn’t have confirmed it if you hadn’t answered.”

“I could just get a new phone. It’s easy to get one these days.”

“You wouldn’t be able to live these days when I have half the city looking for you. Three million dollars for you alive. A million for you dead.”

“Charming. As if nobody’s already done that before.”

“Keep at this with your little game with Falcone, Ms. Y/LN, and you’re only going to regret this.”

“I have no choice. He’s got-“

“A debt from your uncle. We know. He owes him fifty million dollars’ worth of services to help him get out, and he died right before it happened.”

“You think this is scaring me, Waller?”

“It’ll be easier for all of us, including you, if you just surrender.”

“Now why on earth am I going to do that?”

“You have loved ones, don’t you? We can use them as easily as we did on your uncle.”

She snorted. “Loved ones?”

“You and the Red Hood were quite the partnership…”

“We don’t work together anymore.

“But he’s got an even better price on his head. It’ll be hitting two birds with a single stone if we got him.”

“It’s only you, GCPD, five other sectors, the NSA, CIA, Homeland Security, FBI, KGB, Mossad, and the Interpol after his head. But good luck with that.”

“I’m handing you this offer now. If you willingly surrender, you won't have to be in Belle Reve, Blackgate or even fucking Alcatraz where you truly belong. You’ll have your freedom, but you work with me, in Task Force X.”

“I know you think I live under my uncle’s shadow-“

“Don’t you?” she heard the woman snort. “You’ve been paying his debts, fighting under his name, cleaning up his mess. He’s raised you to become him. And with his talents, he also gave you all the consequences.

“But I am not Floyd Lawton. I’m done with his debts. So I’m not about to join your little Suicide Squad.”

“This is your only shot at working with me and not just for me, Ms. Y/LN.”

“Go fuck yourself, Waller.”

She turned her phone off and slammed it to the ground with her foot.

 -----

MASTERLIST

THE BULLET MASTERLIST

------

everyartistwas-firstanamateur  @sarcasmismyfirstlove @damned-queen-of-gotham @idkmanicantenglish @wunderstell @birdy-bat-riya @get-loki@everyday-imfangirling @comic-nerd-dc@multifandoms916 @icequeen208@offendedfishnoises @egdolan@xemiefx @arkhamtoddler @elsenthal@mythicbitchx@supremehaunter burning-alive  @lucy-roo  roseangel013bf @ loxbbg  reclusive-chicken-nuggethttp-cherriesshadowsndaisiesriver9noble zphilophobiazannoylinglyaries@knightfall05x @l-horizon11 flowersgirl02

[catzula]

can i req dazai x f!reader where dazai and her are kinda best friends(both of them hv feelings for each other)She’s is v cunning and manipulative using whatever means she can to get informations. They don’t want to confess to each other and they keep their feelings v well & it took one life threatening injury for him to confess to her like she’s at the brink of death fluff ending pls :)) omg this is so detailed

A/N: I’m sorry this took so long to write! Bt ughh, this is my first request, and thank you so much for sending it! Hope you like it :)))

Pairing: Dazai Osamu x fem!Reader

Genre: angst with a good ending

Warnings: mentions of blood, some bad writing here and there, 3k words cuz I have no chill

***

You watched the brunette man as he sipped his drink. You knew you shouldn't watch him like this, should conceal the love that was written all over your face.

He was a smart man, was one of the smartest people you have ever got to know. You knew he could figure the feelings you have harvested towards him if he wanted to, but you were also aware he chose not to notice these feelings that were so dear to you.

It would have been better to be away from him, as far as possible, but you found yourself becoming friends with him, it took only the smallest time before you two became best friends.

"I see you can't take your eyes off of me." He said with a playful wink. He grabbed his drink off the counter and sat on the chair next to you. "I was just wondering when you'll stop staring at me." Your words had a harsher tone than you would have liked, but he understood it anyway.

"But how can I not stare when there's such a beauty in front of me?" You knew these words had no romantic meanings behind them, that they were only a joke.

"Well, that's true."

"Of course it is." He looked at you with an expression you couldn't quite read. You were a natural at reading people, their feelings, and their thoughts, but when it came to Dazai, you were as good as blind. You could never understand what he was thinking, not when he was looking at you this way.

"What is it?" He asked after a few seconds of silence. You two were in a bar, in the middle of a group of people, but it felt like you were alone. How did he understand something was troubling you? How could he read you so good when you couldn't even tell what he felt?

You smiled, a sly smile you wore when you were playing with someone. Dazai didn't miss the smile either, as his playful girn wavered slightly, he eyed you like he was trying to read your mind. "How is work, Dazai? You never tell me anything these days."

"You know I can't afford to take the risk of telling you. I can't tell if you're interested in my life or my secrets." He shrugged as he smiled, and although he had a smile on, you knew he was serious.

"What do you think?" You winked, but you felt a frown tugging on your lips. You drank what's left of the burning liquid in your glass, not letting him see you were hurt. Dazai not trusting you was a wound you had, he was your best friend after all, but you didn't get any say much about it.

You watched as Kunikida started to lecture Atsushi on something, and it was aware that the subject was something Kunikida gave great importance. You laughed at the sight since this scene happened almost every time you were here. You weren't an official part of the armed detective agency, but they often called you in to help with some missions. They were mainly detective work that required someone who could get any information from anyone.

Although you weren't like them, you didn't have abilities as they did, you had something even better. You were good at reading people, leading them, making them think whatever you wanted them to think, and making them believe they were the genius behind the idea.

You were a natural at manipulating people, had a wit that could even put up with Dazai. You were proud of it too, it was how you lived after all, but this meant that no one could trust you. You knew it was frightening to be manipulated like a puppet, but you would have liked people to trust you. At least, for him to trust you.

But it was your fault, too. Dazai did trust you at one point in his life, but when he realized you had been taking information from him to give your boss, it was too late. When he figured it out, he wasn't mad at you, didn't even complain, say anything about it, but he stopped trusting you with his secrets, his thoughts, his feelings.

Dazai knew if he was going to be close to you, he had to conceal everything about himself, the attraction he felt towards you coming in first. When he figured your manipulative, sly personality he was amazed, and he just wanted to be close to you. You were on his mind constantly, even occupying the thoughts of suicide.

He wasn't hurt when you used him for information, it was your nature, and he had grown to love this personality of yours, but he had to close himself towards you too.

He smirked when he saw you looking at him, your eyes wandering over his face, trying to figure out what was on his mind. He was about to say something when Kunikida groaned. "You two stop flirting already! Our guy is here."

The playful mood changed almost instantly. Everyone turned their eyes to the man who had just entered the bar, except for Dazai. You could feel his eyes on you, but you ignored it, focusing on your work.

You looked at the man, analyzing him, figuring a way to approach him. He was probably was in his 20's, wore a tailored suit, an expensive-looking watch and shoes, although the leather shoes were muddy and dirty, a very sharp contrast to his fancy clothes and nicely done hair, indicating he had come here straight after his 'work'.

He was the son of a billionaire, a dirty billionaire who was working with the mafia. The armed detective agency was after some secret files, and all you had to do was to find out where these files were, after that they were going to handle it. You watched as the man sat on the bar seat, ordering whiskey for himself.

You inhaled an anxious breath and gathered up your courage. This wasn't the first time you were doing something like this, but there was always a risk, and you couldn't afford to relax.

You started to walk towards him with a flirty smile, a smile you have mastered in the past years. You sat next to him, touching his arm lightly and making him focus on you. You saw the small gleam on his eyes when his eyes wandered over your body, the black dress you were wearing, your legs, and your breasts.

You smiled. It was going to be easier than you had thought.

~~~

Dazai hated that he had to watch you smile to the man, touch him, get close to him, watch him looking at you like you were meat on a silver plate. His hands brushed your legs experimentally, sometimes wandering a little too much.

You never even glanced once in his way, but he knew it was because you were a professional, and that could lead you to blow your cover. You were the best at what you did, and he was amazed by you, but now it felt like it was burning him inside. Though, that burning sensation could be the alcohol too.

"They're going." Kunikida stood up as you exited the bar and went in his car.

~~~

"I think I drank a little too much." You said with a neatly faked drunken smile, slurring your words on purpose. Your eyes scanned the car in merely seconds, thinking of the possible places he could have hidden the files as he buckled his seatbelt.

You leaned on him, nuzzling your face in his neck as you secretly checked his side of the door to see if the files were there, they were not. "Is your place close?" You asked kissing his neck softly. He chuckled at your needy behavior and started the car. "Don't worry, you're gonna get what you're asking for in a few minutes."

For some reason, that sentence just didn't seem right, but you concealed your worry immediately.

"I- I feel dizzy. Do you have any water?" You asked as you acted to open the glove box. His eyes widened as he tried to stop you from doing so, but you were quicker.

Bingo.

The files were in there, his eyes looked at you cautiously as you pouted slightly. "Ugh, paperwork! How boring." You said as you closed it back, though your heart was racing. You hadn't expected to find them in his car, and you didn't know what you were going to do to get away from him since Kunikida told you he was going to wait for you at his place.

He grinned as he slowed his car. A grin that just didn't sit right with his ignorant attitude, and you shivered but smiled to hide your growing fear.

"Are we at your place already?!" you asked, although you knew you weren't even close to his house. You glanced him sideways only to find him looking at you too. Your heart was beating so fast in your chest, a knot of fear forming in your stomach. "No, we're not."

"But why did we stop? I thought you wanted to-"

"Gotta give you credit. You're an amazing actor. If I didn't know who you were, I would have fallen for this charade instantly." He said, and you noticed his hand going to his back, under his coat. Your eyes widened with fear as you quickly opened your seatbelt and threw yourself out the door, but he caught your arm and pulled you back.

"Oh, no." He said with an expression that sent shivers down your back, his smile reminding you of the Cheshire cat. "You're not going anywhere."

~~~

"Where are they?!" Kunikida said, feeling his worry growing with every passing second. He glanced at the man who sat next to him, a relaxed, uninterested look on his face. But Kunikida knew his friend very well, and he knew Dazai was worried out of his mind.

Dazai knew something was up when you were late. You were never late. He just didn't want to get in the way of your work just because he was jealous, he had noticed his feelings towards you growing, even more, the last few months and Dazai couldn't tell if he was acting irrationally when it was about you. But now it was just too much, he couldn't hold it in anymore and had to find you, or this feeling in his chest was going to kill him.

Dazai stood up, making Kunikida look at him with worried eyes. "Dazai, you cant-" Dazai sent him a look that made Kunikida sure that there was nothing that could stop Dazai now.

Kunikida sighed. "I'm coming with you."

~~~

He had left you on the side of the road as you pressed your hand on your wound, trying to stop the blood. Your hands felt cold, and you couldn't stop them from shaking. Your hands were painted in red, and even though you were dying, you only had one thing, or one person, on your mind. Dazai.

If you closed your eyes, you could almost see his brown eyes looking at you, his lips turned upwards in a playful grin, and you wanted nothing more than for him to be with you now. You wished to tell him how you felt about him, to touch his face, his hair. And most of all, you wanted to at least share one kiss with him before you died.

You felt guilty, dying before him, but your life was draining out of you as your blood escaped your fingers, and you could swear you heard him call your name. Maybe it was your consciousness closing and your mind playing you tricks, but if it was only a dream, you were still glad to have heard his voice one last time.

"No, no, no! Oh shit, Y/N!" Your eyes were closed as you felt foreign hands pressing on your wound, and combing your hair back from your face. Your body was lifted and hugged by arms you have always wished that would hold you.

You gathered your energy to open your eyes, probably for the last time. You were glad you had the strength to do so since you got to see Dazai once again. Though he wasn't smiling, his face was wet because of the tears running down his cheeks. Seeing him crying, you felt like crying too.

You didn't want to die, it was far too early. You had so much that you wanted to do, and now every dream of yours, every thought you had was taken from you. To be aware of the fact that you were never going to be able to do any of these, to know you were never going to make up for your mistakes, never get married, and maybe even have children hurt more than the wound that caused all of this.

And although you didn't have time for anything you wanted to do, there was one exception. There was one thing you could do, and it would be worth everything else.

"I have to tell you something." Your voice was more of a whisper, and you didn't think he had heard you. But he had. "Don't-" he said, unable to hold his tears. "Don't waste your breath now, you'll tell me when you're all better."

You bit your lip, you felt dizzy and knew it was... Close.

"Listen to me." You said, a little stronger this time. Was it selfish what you were doing? Telling him this now, right before you closed your eyes forever, wasn't it selfish? But you had to tell him, selfish or not, you couldn't hold it in. "Dazai-" you said, trying to hold yourself together, "I- I love you."

He hadn't said anything. You couldn't see it then, but it was because he was crying so hard, he was unable to speak. Your body was numb, and you couldn't feel his shoulders shaking. "I'm sorry it had to end like this."

He shook his head side to side, denying to acknowledge that you were slipping to unconsciousness, and he could do nothing to prevent it. "Where is Yosano?!" He screamed at Kunikida, who was watching you from a few meters away. He couldn't gather the courage to see you die.

"She's on her way, she's going to be here in a few minutes." But Kunikida wasn't sure if you even had a few minutes left, and the look he sent to Dazai told that to him too. To this, Dazai inhaled a sharp breath, one filled with worry. He knew if he was going to tell you his true feelings, this could be the last time. And he was tired, tired of acting around you, as he did with everyone else. You were so special to him and he just wanted to be himself around you. Now he didn't know if he was even going to see you again.

His tears slid down his cheek, a single drop touched your now pale face. "I love you too." He said finally, to that you smiled. "I love you- I love you so much. And I... I need you to stay alive, please (Y/N)! I need you to stay with me- as long as we'd like. I can't lose you, I can't lose you to death, to something I have wanted for so long but now... All I want is you."

He went on rambling, not even noticing your eyes were closed and that you were no longer conscious.

~~~

Dazai couldn't remember what happened that night, after his confession. He had only flashbacks of that night, Dazai remembered Kunikida ripping your then oddly heavy body away from his arms, yelling, trying to get you back. From him, from death.

He remembers sitting on the red-stained ground, sobbing, crying as he had never done before.

He remembers Kunikida, who was secretly crying too, trying to lift him to his legs, but Dazai didn't have the strength to stand up.

And now he was sitting at the office, his head buried in his hands, a deadly headache making him groan in pain. Atsumi had tried to approach him, asking him if he was okay, but it took one look from Dazai to send him back to where he was sitting. No one dared to draw closer to him, not when he was in this situation.

His bandages were soaked in blood, your blood, and he couldn't find it in himself to renew them. All he could do was to lift his head when he heard a door open, and every time it was someone else at the door, his body slumped back on the seat he was sitting, feeling even more hopeless.

It wasn't supposed to take this long, he knew how Yosano worked, and it never lasted this much.

So when she opened the door to her infirmary, covered in blood, he thought his heart was going to stop beating. The tired look on her face didn't tell him much either.

"She is sleeping." She said finally. "But she will be okay."

These words felt like heaven to him, and to everyone else that was in the buro. "She- she is alive?" Dazai finally broke the silence, and she shot him an annoyed look. "I just told you she is-" But before she even finished her sentence, a thump came from Dazai's direction, and for the first time in their lives, the armed detective agency witnessed Dazai passing out.

~~~

You slept for almost a week, though it felt like years to Dazai.

He was playing with his bandages when Kunikida entered the room in search of him. When Dazai looked at him with his now almost dead-looking brown eyes, Kunikida shuddered. "She's awake."

These words brought the light back in his eyes in almost an instant. Dazai stood up on his legs and practically ran out of the room.

He had not once gathered the courage to enter your room. He just couldn't bear the thought of seeing you in those covers would be the last time he would see you, and Dazai couldn't afford to have that sight of you to be the very last memory he had of you.

He loved you, but before that, you were his best friend. You were the person he would come to when he didn't feel good, the person he could just sit next to, not needing to say anything.

And embraced with the memories of you, he opened the door.

You were practically lost between the sheets, looked so small and so fragile, his heart ached with the sight.

When your eyes found him, a smile formed on your face. Dazai didn't know what to say, and it seemed like you didn't either. So after a few awkward seconds, you finally said, "I heard you fainted."

He was so tense that he couldn't hold back the laughter that bubbled up inside him. He tried to suppress it, but he couldn't hold it even for a second as his laughter ringed inside the room.

To that, you started to laugh too. It started as a giggle but turned into laughter in merely seconds. When your laughs both finally died, an awkward feeling took over the room. You were both thinking about the same thing, and it just felt odd.

"Did you mean it?" You finally gathered your courage and asked. His chocolate brown eyes found yours, and for the first time, you could see his feelings in his eyes, you could understand what he was thinking.

You felt a warm sensation in your chest, making you all fuzzy and giddy. "I did mean it. Every single word." He didn't say it, but you knew he was asking you the same thing. "Me too." You answered his silent question, and he smiled. It was a sincere, beautiful smile.

[reading-hub]

Could I request some headcanons for Shigaraki, Dabi, and Todoroki having a wet dream about their crush and then running into them the next day?

- 𝗪𝗘𝗧 𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠𝗦

𝗳𝘁. 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗼, 𝗱𝗮𝗯𝗶, & 𝘁𝗼𝗺𝘂𝗿𝗮

SHOUTO TODOROKI

It was a moment of weakness for him to say the least. In all honesty, he’s got it bad for you.

While everyone else has been sleeping, half-&-half was tossing and turning in his bed all throughout the night.

All this late night thoughts got him thinking, about you....and the things he wants to do that include you..

It always started off with inviting you to his dorm to study:

After what feels like hours off sexual tension between you two, he finds you on the floor, bending over on all fours to look for something in your backpack. You seem really diligent on finding whatever it is you’re looking for in there...

Your body suddenly has a mind of its own that your plump bottom was slowly inching upwards as your hand reached all the way to the bottom of your bag.

Shouto couldn’t help but look the view he was getting. Your cute ass moving around without a care and those cute fusturating noises that came from you also didn’t help.

He tried to respectfully look away at your vulnerable position, but his perverted eyes kept shifting back.

He then found himself grinding your ass. A cute little squeak came from your mouth. Looking back at him with those cute little doe eyes for reassurance to see Shouto’s lustful gaze at you.

Shouto’s breath hitches to see you comply by lifting the back of your skirt up to your waist, showing off your panties to him. Lowering your head onto the floor, to show your submission to him.

Before it could even get to main event, his mind cut him off and the next thing he knew, he was awake again..

Shouto muttered a curse before realizing it was already morning and the sun was about to rise.

Already dressed in his uniform, he stepped out of his dorm room, before he could walk towards the hallway, he spots you.

Cute, already in your uniform, holding your books to your chest, and talking to Sero..? This early before class even started?

A ping of jealousy swelled below his stomach. Just seeing you talk so openly to Sero, with the cutest smile crept onto your lips as you listened and spoke with him.

He wanted to walk past you as casually as possible, the last thing he wanted was have you see him after what he was dreaming about last night—

“Good morning, Shouto.” You spoke, turning your attention to the stoic boy, who seemed to be in a rush...

Shouto’s shoulders tensed up, but relaxed. “Good morning..” before you could reply back he was already walking away.

“Man, looks like Shouto’s got a lot on his mind today..” Sero quipped, leaning back against the wall. “I guess so...” Your face dropped a little. I hope he didn’t think I was annoying you thought.

DABI

That cute ass smile will be the death of him someday. more like the death of his dick

He sometimes wonder how a cute piece of work like you could even associate yourself with the likes of them. Not that he was complaining. He’d sit back and watch as you and Toga were at sitting by the bar, sipping down Shirley Temples together, seeing that cute smile of yours as you nodded while Toga was gushing about all the cute boys and girls she saw at UA.

And by the end of the night, he found himself semi-hard, which was his cue to leave the base and deal with his “problem”.

After finding a much needed secluded spot away from the league, he laid down on something that seemed comfortable enough by his standards.

Taking it slow by feeling up himself through his pants, cursing under his breath knowing that this was your doing.

All cute n’ sexy. Sitting on a bar stool like the good girl you are. Why sit on a lousy stool when you could be sitting on something better. Like on his lap, where you rightfully belong.

He can picture it now: Your cute ass plop onto his thigh, his hands wandering where they please as you let him, hands holding onto your hips as you grind on him, and your cute face contorting into mixes of need and pleasure to top it all off.

You’d be so needy of him at that point. Laying your head on the nape of his neck, whispering pleas to him. Telling him you wish to go somewhere privately to fill your needs, promising him that you’ll make him feel oh so good...

The flame bastard smirks and takes you up on that offer.

There you were, beneath him. His hands beside your head, as he cages you using his body. Lowing his head to your neck as he gives you some love bites and kisses. As you softly withed under him, one of his hands makes their way towards the belt line of your lower stomach.

Feeling this, your body naturally jolted up a little in surprise. His finger tips pushed aside your underwear to make room for his fingers. Rubbing the outside to feel how wet you were. His finger slowly circling your wet gummy walls, slowly adding his thumb into the mix.

KNOCK KNOCK

Dabi tensed up, back from reality. Muttering a curse after hearing a knock on the door. And just when it was getting to the good part!!!

There better be a good reason to interrupt his time.

Opening the door, revealing it to be Twice. God dammit.

“What is it, Twice?” His voice was that of annoyance and pissy undertones. He hoped that Twice would get the message across that it was a bad time to knock right now.

“Whoa, chill Dabi!” He said with urgency and worry. “It’s about (y/n). Shigaraki wants you to escort her back home. It seems like she drank a little too much.” He informed him. “Girl was tripping like crazy!!! She can’t even move one foot without falling flat on her face!!” He cried out dramatically after.

Dabi sighed, but he also couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Guess you found yourself drinking more than just non-alcoholic drinks tonight.

Waking towards your limping self, trying to balance yourself by holding onto the bar for dear life. Yep, you were tipsy alright.

“Alright, let’s get you home.” He pulled you towards him, his hands holding onto yours hips. “M’kay, Dabi....” dammit, even when you were drunk off your ass, you still somehow managed to be cute!

TOMURA SHIGARAKI

You just HAD to enter the headquarters with the tightest pants ever.

Jet black, labeled as skinny jeans but managed to hug all your curves in the right places. God he loved when you wore those.

But only when it was during those slow days around the meet-up, and when it was just you and him in one room together. NOT for when so many people were around and the headquarters, packed with villains with hungry eyes most likely on you.

Not to mention you were so casual about it too. Not bothered by what you wore and how it affected him! Well, that’s kinda on Tomura’s part since he doesn’t say anything to you about it and just sulks in the corner silently instead.

All these people at the bar were overwhelming him. Grumbling under his breath, he dragged his feet to his private space and thought “fuck it, I’m playing some games instead” maybe jerk off a little before calling it a night altogether

Hours past since he left the meet up to go to his room instead. But even after playing video games in the dark room was getting a bit tedious for him at that point. Perhaps this was his cue to sleep it off, mentally shrugging as he finally relaxed on his creaking noise filled bed.

His vision getting hazy but then clearing up as he sees you in his subconscious. You smile, but this was no happy go lucky smile. No, that smile of yours had lustful intentions to it, and it was all for him to see. He felt his lower stomach churn that of anticipation for what was to come.

There you were, your knees straddling his hips as he sat on his bed. He saw as you teased him by slowly and painstakingly grinded on his pants. Stopping abruptly, you gasped, making Tomura jump a little in surprise. Nervous young adult hormones were surrounding his mindset. Did he do something wrong?

You lifted your hips by an inch. It appears Tomura got a little excited from your clothed grinding. You couldn’t help as a small giggle escaped your lips. Your villainous boss was such a cute little virgin. Time to reward him for his patience. Licking your lips in the process.

Tomura saw your lustful gaze after seeing his stiff...excitement poking through his pants. You spoke. “Boss, can I offer you a little favor?” Your voice was strung with heated implications, as your hands wandered to the front of his pants, verbally telling him what kind of favor you had in mind. He nodded vigorously, while trying to hide his lust filled grin.

You took no time unbuttoning his pants,(cuz let’s be real, that man doesn’t wear a belt) impatiently pulling down his pants halfway enough for his member to pop up, feeling up his shaft through his boxers as his breath hitched in surprise. Your fingers dipped inside his boxers, pulling them down, slowly, until the prize you’ve been looking for flicked upwards from the underwear confinement.

There it was. Tomura’s dick, right in front of your very eyes. Tomura saw with wonder as he saw you work the shaft, swirling your tongue around the tip as if it were a lollipop. God, your mouth was so warm and wet, he felt like all his pent up horniness for you over the years was washing away as you sucked him off.

Your head bobbing up and down, as one your hands made their way towards his balls, cupping them in your hands. Tomura saw as your eyes made contact with his. They were filled with need and want. You decided to take it one step further by pushing your mouth deeper and deeper into his dick, choking up naturally. Immediately releasing your mouth from his dick to catch your breath.

He breathed heavily as he saw your lip and chin coated with your own saliva and a little bit of his cum on your tongue. “Ready for more, boss?” You perked up.

Before he could reply, a harsh knock came barreling down. His eyes shot up, it’s daytime already? He winced at the sight of the sunlight peaking through his curtains. Hissing at the thought of getting up from his dream. A deep voice rang through the door after the knocking stopped. “Tomura, are you awake?” Yep, that was Kurogiri.

“I just came to tell you that Miss (Y/N) came to the headquarters early today.” Kurogiri soon left, hearing his footsteps fade away. Early? Like, early-early?? What time was it?

He grumbled under his breath as he made his way out of the hallway, were he saw you sitting on the ripped couch, scrolling through your phone. God, you were hot when you didn’t even try or not realize that someone was staring at you.

“Hey, boss. Had a good sleep last night?” You asked, genuine and curious. He grinned deviously through ‘father’ hiding his face. Oh if only you knew....

[eerythingisshaka]

Birthday

[Chris Evans x Reader]

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N:  a start to the spooky season inspired fics!

Your guests pile into your home for the party of your life.  Another year spun around the sun with many more to come, you saved no expense to ensure your time was spent partying it up as if tomorrow would never come.

The DJ you hired keeps spinning your favorite tracks back to back so you barely have time to make it to the door and greet new guests before your new song would pull your body back to work on that beat with a deep arch in your back.

“Yo, could the host please make they way to the DJ booth please?”

You steady your drink as you snake through the vibrating bodies that catch the contagious rhythms bumping from the speakers.

You shout in his ear, “Hey, Colgate!  What’s up?”

He makes a quick song transition with air horns before answering.  “I heard somebody was finna call the cops cuz of the noise.  Are we about to wrap this thing up or what?”

You look through the crowd suspiciously but the DJ calls your attention.

“It ain’t no one here, it’s a neighbor.”

You nod, “I know.  I figure.  But no, we won’t be stopping a damn thing tonight.  Let them come!  It’s my fucking birthday, so play that shit loud and fuckin turn up!”

The DJ shrugs, turning the beat up even louder and letting the bass boom through structure holding your house together.  This night would not be interrupted for no one if you had anything to do with it,   

As you gulp the last of your drink, you feel like something is off, holding your head as your mind starts to get hazy.  

“Hey girl, there’s someone at the door for you.  You want me to get rid of him?” a friend of your offers.

You shake your head, taking a deep breath.  “No, no.  I can handle it.  I kind of expected it in a way.”

They nod.  “Ok.  Don’t bite off more than you can chew.  You know what to do if you need anything.”

You thank them, heading for the front door.  When you step outside, the cool air wafts around you as you look around and see him standing in the driveway, hands in his pockets and head hung low looking over at you.

You cross your arms up defensively, refusing to take his puppy dog eyes as a means to soften our heart.

“I thought we broke up,” you start.

“”Is that what I said?”  he asks, feigning confusion as he grips his chin in thought.  “I don’t recall those exact words.”

You stand your ground. “SO what are you doing here Chris?  You came to make a fool of me some more on my night?”

He takes a turn at crossing his arms.  “Now I made a fool of you?  Sweetheart, no one felt more like a fool in our relationship than me.”

You scoff, standing in front of him from a distance now.  “Well that’s what every girl wants to hear.  I made my man look foolish to be with me, ladies and gentlemen!”

“You know what I mean!  Stop twisting my words!”  Chris exclaims.

“The day that what you say makes sense is the day I stop twisting them around, as you say.”  You look him up and down with disdain before rolling your eyes.

Chris takes a deep breath looking towards your house.  “You got a big party going on in there.”

You shrug.  “It’s a milestone, so I wanted to make it special.  No one else was going to do it for me.”

“If you gave me another chance, I could do that for you, but you won’t give me a chance.”

“What chance is there to give!”  You shout out loud, your voice carries down the block.   “You don’t want the life I live Chris.  You made that abundantly clear that night of the full moon?  You looked at me like I was a monster when all I ever wanted was for you to accept me and you tricked me into believing that was possible.”

“Can you blame me for being caught off guard?  I thought that you were going to tell me you were a virgin or a recovering alcoholic, but then you go and-”

You hold a hand up.  “Shut up!”

Chris claps his hands in frustration, testing his body away from you with disbelief.   “That’s what I’m saying!  How can you make an assumption of me when you won’t let me-”

“Shut the fuck up Chris!  Cops are coming.”

He listens.  “I don’t hear…”

A couple seconds pass until the faint squeal of a siren begins to build.

You roll your eyes.  “Dammit!  Dealing with you, I forgot about figuring who the fuck called the police on my party.”

“Goddammit.  I’ll stick around in case of anything.”

You give him a stank look.  “No, you may leave.  You’re dismissed actually.”

“I’m not going anywhere,”  Chris says.

“I don’t care what you do but you have GOT to stay out of my business!  Especially when it is not yours anymore.”

“It will be my business,”  he says under his breath but you catch every word.  You see the red and blue light bouncing off the neighborhood surroundings and prepare yourself for the confrontation.  As a squad car pulls up, they silence the siren and step out of the car.  Two white men step out, hand near their comfort zone.

“What’s going on here tonight?”  one asks.

Chris starts the conversation.  “Hey guys, it’s my girl’s birthday tonight and we just decided to have a night with some friends to celebrate.”

“Ahh.  How old are we, miss?” he asks.

Chris parts his lips before shutting them quickly to look to you.

“A lady never tells their age, sir,”  you say with a chill tone.

He smiles at his partner, who looks less amused.  “I guess if I ask for some ID that would clear that notion up, wouldn’t it?”

Chris starts again, “Officer, is there a reason you’re questioning her?  For God sakes, it’s her birthday!”

“Chris, be quiet,”  you hiss at him.

The officer puts his hand on his gun but not out of the holster.  “We have every power to question anything we expect to be suspicious.”

“Thing?”  you whisper to yourself.

“We will quiet down, if you’re here to warn us, that’s no problem.  Sound good?”  Chris offers.

The officer remains steadfast.  “I already asked for an ID.  If I ask twice I will consider this a resisting.”

“You’re damn right it’s resisting.  This is a joke,”  Chris retorts.

“Chris, if you say another fucking word, I’ll your tongue out myself!  Officers!”  You demand their attention as you speak to them slowly.  “The music is not loud enough to hear from the street and therefore your time is being wasted here.  Please go back to your cars and resume your evening elsewhere.”  

They stand frozen for a few seconds before taking a relaxed stroll back to their vehicle and driving away.  You take a deep exhale, hearing the music in the house pause.  You look to your house and see a few people standing outside the door.

“Everything good, madam?”  one asks.

“It’s fine!  Thanks for checking!”  you call back with a wave.

“Shame, I was hoping for a dinner party.  Is he part of it?”

You look back to Chris, who still seems to be doing mental math.  “No, not the dinner part, anyway.”

“Ugh!  You never share!”  They slam the door and commence the party in full force.

When you turn back to Chris he starts to work it out.

“Does this have anything to do with what you said on our date during the full moon?”  Chris asks slowly.

“Kind of, yes,”  you say hesitantly.

“They all know?”  he asks.

“They all are a part of my brood so, they definitely know.”

Chris goes quiet, nodding and looking off at the ground.  The sickening feeling you got earlier comes rushing back as you start to walk away, but his hand grips your arm quickly.

“What are you doing?”

“Going back to my party,” you say, ripping your arm loose.  “People who understand me are there.”

“And I don’t?  I just came over here to make amends and seen you mind control two fucking cops to go away and I’m still here!”

“Then why did you react that way before?”  you ask quietly.

Chris fumbles with his jacket nervously.  “I never wanted to let you go for something that is essentially who you are.  You trusted me enough to show me and I want to be receptive.  It just caught me off guard, but I wasn’t going to reject you.  You rejected me, remember?”

You turn away.  Despite him being human, his eyes had a pull that could knock you off your feet if you focused on them.  Chris tries to catch your gaze, bending down in front of you.

“Yes, I did.  And maybe I...got scared too,” you say, kicking a shoe in the dirt.

Chris snickers, opening his arms wide.  “Happy birthday, babe.”

You look up at him with annoyance, all while falling into his chest as his big arms wrap around your back for an uplifting bear hug.

“If you’re here for my birthday, where is my gift?” you look up at him patiently.

He loosens his grips on you while he thinks.  “Does an ex get his ex a present on her birthday?”

You nod.  “I like presents from my exes.  They are truly the best gifts.”

Chris chuckles.  “So if I don’t want to be an ex anymore…”

“...then you owe me a big gift, yes.  What’s not clicking?”  you snort laughing in his face as you push him back.

Chris sits back on his car.  “How about this.  If you kiss me and you still want to be my ex, I will give you whatever big gift you want.”

“Anything?  Be specific, because I’m sure you have a budget.”

“Ouch!”  he holds the left side of his chest in theatrical pain.  “No, I mean anything you want.”

You meander his way, holding your hands in front of you.  “I started this night with every intention of forgetting your face and every memory attached to it.”

“That can still be arranged,” Chris says in a snide tone.

You rest your hands on the hood of his car, right on either side of his thighs.  You closed the distance between the two of you so fast, he caught himself with his elbow before falling directly backward.

“But I will play your game if in the end I am getting something I want out of it,” you whisper into his face.

He takes one side of your face, eyes twinkling with cautious care as he pulls you into him, resting your mouth on his.  His smell, his touch, his lips welcoming yours made you buckle over him as you slowly melted on top of him.  Your leg half straddles him as your hands push into his chest, submitting himself to the weight of your body as he deepens the kiss.  You feel your passion building as you search under his shirt for the warmth of his skin and he could provide but stop abruptly looking down at him as he smiles.

“And?”  he asks.

You take a pregnant pause, pulling your hand from under his shirt.  “I don’t feel anything.”

Chris’ face screws up.  “What?”

You stammer, “I mean...I don’t want to get back with you.  I really don’t.”

Chris’ eyes roll back in frustration.  “Then what do you want?”

You cup his face, sliding your hand down his well trimmed beard and over his Adam’s apple.

“I just want you to look me in the eyes...and relax your neck.”

Chris stares at you a moment, gaze glazing over as your directive reaches him.  You feel his muscles relax under you as his heart rate slows under your fingertips.

“I’m sorry this one will have to show, but just assume it is a cut from shaving.”  You unhinged your mouth as you sink your fangs into his neck, enjoying the hot flow of his rich blood filling you up.  He gasps, gripping your waist at first from the initial puncture then letting out a long labored groan as his strength is drained.

When you finish, you lick the remnants from his neck, kissing his wound for good measure as you sit up satisfied.

“You’ll wake up in 5 minutes, go home and sleep.  When you wake up, you’ll meet me at a park for the first time and we will go out on a date.”

You slide off of him, looking at him with pity.  Such a big man taken down yet again by you.

“You’re still keeping him alive?”  A voice from the house calls.

You smile down at the unconscious Chris.  “I like him.  He’s fun.”  You look back at your partymate.  “You’re just mad you can’t keep a supply for yourself like me!”

They hiss at you.  “You are so tired.  I like my meal hot and fresh while you’re stuck on last week’s leftovers, who will only become more obsesses with you, the more you feed if you recall!  Happy 290th by the way!”

Just then Chris began to stir.  You trot your way back to the house, checking back at Chris one last time from your front door.  You swear next time you’ll treat him better.  Too bad he tastes so good.

[lucas-koh]

Stitches - Bryce Lahela x MC VI

Parts 1-5 are linked in my bio

Doesn’t exactly follow canon, but elements of canon. FWB.

Song: You’re The One That I Want - John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John

Rating: M, mentions of sex, language

Word Count: 3140

It’s a cheesey one fellas so strap in!

Taglist: @lahellacute @lahamseiroshoe @anotherbeingsworld @fuseboxmusebox @choicesficwriterscreations @bubblelaureno @bratzlahela @eleanorbloom

Chapter Six: Bad Luck Bryce

By now it was just under a week into November, everything was getting colder, and the hospital was getting busier as it did in the winter months. As a result free time was getting more scarce.

One chilly night after too long away, the group were at Donohue’s - to the surprise of absolutely no-one.

They sat in much the same positions as they had on Halloween: Suki and Aurora across from Sienna and Jackie, and Elijah at the head. He was engrossed in a lengthy story told to him concerning one of his patients’ crazy life.

“…and the bouncers caught her! Right at that moment!”

Jackie exhaled, “I can’t tell if she’s actually just insane or bullshitting you. What was she in hospital for, again?”

“Uh, an ear infection.” Elijah looked sheepish as he said this.

“Hmm.” Jackie mused while everyone else burst out laughing.

“Probably bullshitting you.” Grinned Aurora.

Soon enough, the conversation turned to a hottie at the bar.

“Nope, never seen him before, he definitely doesn’t work at the hospital.” Said Jackie.

“I’m certain! I think he works at the cafeteria.” Sienna said. “Suki! Go and ask him.”

“Why me?”

“Well, you’re so busy all the time I think it would do you good to get dating.”

Suki knew part of the reason Sienna was doing this was because she herself had been out on a date with the cute nurse from before, Danny, and wanted everyone else to be happy too.

“Yeah I’m good, thanks Si.”

“Suki, he is cute. And you are really busy.” Added Jackie.

“I’m just not really into dating at the moment.”

“Okay.”

The topic was dropped. Or at least, Suki thought so until Jackie headed to the toilets and Elijah to the bar, leaving Sienna, Aurora, and Suki alone at the booth.

“I don’t understand why you’re not putting yourself out there more,” Sienna said, “I mean you’re single, beautiful, smart, did I mention single?”

Suki laughed. “Sienna, I’m married to the job, I don’t have time for a relationship.”

“I didn’t say you needed a relationship, just… to relax a little…”

“Who says I’m not already sorted?” She tried to cut Sienna off quickly to avoid the subject.

Sienna narrowed her eyes for a moment, then laughed. “You’re not.”

“How would you know!?”

“Because I’ve never seen a single guy sneaking out of your bedroom.”

At that, Suki tried her hardest not to flush like a beetroot, pointedly avoiding Aurora’s sly smirk out of the corner of her eye. Sienna obviously hadn’t cottoned on to the fact that Suki had been ‘working’ a lot of nights.

“Drop it, Sienna. Suki’s obviously just more interested in the hospital,” Aurora said with a cool but knowing smile. Suki gave her a light nod back as thanks.

“Oh, fine. But if you ever need a wingman…”

—-

Since Halloween, Bryce had become a permanent fixture of the group. If it wasn’t Elijah inviting him along, it was Jackie. Gradually Suki became less uncomfortable at his presence, and less worried that they’d be caught out.

So he turned up at the bar a little after the rest of them, once again sinking into the booth beside Suki. The group fell into a comfortable rapport. It felt like they’d all known each-other for years as opposed to the two short months.

As Jackie was diving into a roast of one of the other interns, Bryce edged closer to Suki so that now each part of his side was up against her. He placed a hand on her thigh, and Suki noticed he was wearing those silver rings across his hands again. She tried to make her intake of breath as subtle as possible, but didn’t try to get him to move his hand away, either. In truth, she liked it there. It was hidden under the table, so no one else noticed.

“Suki knows a thing or two about how sexy I am?”

“Huh?” Suki had been momentarily out of the conversation, and the sentence which she was pulled back for was not a relaxing one.

Bryce smirked when he realised he’d got her attention, and squeezed the spot on her thigh. “On day one, when your face met my chest.”

“Oh! Oh, yeah,” she laughed awkwardly, hoping no one noticed how rushed or relieved it was.

Aurora noticed Suki’s rush, and explained: “he’s trying to convince us to go to the gym at the hospital. He says it’s how he got, quote, ‘so hot’.”

“Yeah, not gonna happen Lahela.” For the first time in a while Suki turned to look at him, instantly feeling less embarrassed. It was like when she knew other people were there, it was embarrassing, but if it was just him? It wasn’t so bad.

“Your loss.”

“I’m sure.”

“Well, I’m gonna grab a round. Don’t miss me too much,” he winked, mostly at Suki, but to quell suspicion spun his eyes round the whole group, too.

As his figure disappeared towards the bar and the spot on Suki’s thigh started getting cold, she cleared her throat.

“Okay. Are we gonna talk about this insane chemistry between you and Bryce?” Sienna whispered behind her glass opposite Suki, but it wasn’t very sly. Luckily, everyone else was engrossed in their own conversations.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Suki! A blind person could see it. He’s good looking and an amazing surgeon apparently! He’s maybe a bit cocky but…”

“I thought you said you were going to drop this.”

“Right, sorry,” Sienna looked at Suki apologetically, it was probably the alcohol which had made her forget so Suki wasn’t mad. She was confused though. By ‘chemistry’, Sienna obviously meant ‘sexual tension’, but Suki hadn’t thought it was obvious to anyone else.

Bryce eventually returned and the group fell back into their routine. They sat and laughed through various terrible karaoke performances, until Elijah got the guts to go up and do his own. The group got up from their booth to stand closer to the stage area to cheer for him.

Turned out Elijah could sing, and he glided through a smooth rendition of Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of The Heart.

When he returned to the group, everyone was congratulating and whooping for him.

“Bryce! You’re up now!” Sienna tapped him on the back enthusiastically as though she was gearing him up for a ring fight.

“Oh yeah, I’m awesome at karaoke.”

“Suki you go with him!” Encouraged Sienna.

“Si-”

“Enjoy!” She pushed both Suki and Bryce towards the stage with each of her hands.

They bumped into each-other slightly as they were bumbled up the steps.

“S-sorry.”

But Bryce just rested his hand on the small of her back and guided her over to the centre of the stage. He gave her an eyebrow wiggle before stepping over the the jukebox and picking a song.

Then he brandished from his jeans pocket some gaudy pink sunglasses with yellow detailing and stick-out pineapple trees on the sides.

“…Bryce- where the hell did those come from?”

“I always come prepared.” He slipped them on as music began to flood from the jukebox.

Oh no. Suki knew this beat.

Bryce handed her a microphone and began to tap his foot energetically, grinning at her.

“I got chills, they’re multiplyin’, and I’m looooosin control, ‘cuz the power you’re supplyin’ - it’s electrifying!”

And honestly? His voice wasn’t bad at all. But that didn’t change the fact that Suki was absolutely mortified to be stood up on a stage at a local dive bar singing Grease with her fuck buddy. She wanted to crawl into a very small hole and hibernate for at least a week.

But she couldn’t, because her line was up.

She looked over to Bryce, who was doing some awkward standing dance moves as he sang, all confidence as usual, looking ridiculous in his palm tree sunglasses. But he was looking at her.

Well, she presumed so. It was hard to see under the sunglasses.

All the same, the thought calmed her, and she couldn’t help but smile as she sang:

“You better shape up, ‘cuz I need a man! And my heart is set on you.”

Suki was… unfortunately definitely not a singer. She was somewhat in tune, but that was about it. Bryce’s confidence was rubbing off on her, though.

By the time the chorus came around, she was loving every minute of it. This was not the Suki that usually reared her head. Doing embarrassing things in public was something she would ordinarily avoid at all costs. The crowd had slipped away and it was just her and Bryce being ridiculous. They faced each-other as they sang.

“You’re the one that I want!”

They could hear their friends cheering from not far off, egging the whole silly thing on. Then with the next verse, they were back to back, laughing as they sang. At this point Suki was finding the whole thing absolutely hilarious.

They kept singing through the song, frequently drawn back to each other’s eyes for some reason.

“I need a man, who can keep me satisfied,” Suki blushed at the implication of the line, trying not to look at Bryce as she sang it. But he was smirking, as she expected.

And then the song was over, and Bryce and Suki were met with… not much reception at all. The only cheers came from their friends, but they didn’t care, as their friends were whooping loud enough.

Bryce pulled Suki into a hug and swung from one foot to the other.

“Nicely done, Santa Fe,” he muttered in her ear, breath hot.

“Yeah, you too.”

They stepped from the stage, letting the next group up to perform, and rejoining their friends. They all congregated around the bar and indulged in another round.

Bryce and Suki unintentionally leaned on the bar beside each-other after they ordered. He looked at her, mulling over his thoughts.

“You’re different than you were.”

“What?” Then, after a second Suki realised what he meant. “Do you mean you remember me from college?”

He just laughed and sipped his drink. What? Why was he so weird whenever she brought it up? Why would he say that if he didn’t want to talk about it?

And then just as he looked as through he might say something, eyes crinkled with humour and mouth agape, a girl came up behind him. Her arm slid down his shoulder, catching his attention.

“Hey… so you were, like, really good up there.”

Suki wanted to snort, loudly. That was the best she had? He was messing around the whole time and wasn’t even trying. But she didn’t, just kept her eyes on the bar as she waited for their drinks.

“Thanks, I don’t mean to toot my own horn but-“

Seriously? He was always tooting his own horn. For some reason, this was annoying Suki.

The girl giggled and Suki felt her jaw tighten. She turned away to try and shut out the rest of the conversation, silently begging the bartender to slide over a tequila shot stat.

But she couldn’t help but watch as Bryce flirted with her, leaning confidently against the bar and letting the girl rest her hand on his bicep.

Why the hell do I care? I’m just sleeping with the guy. It’s just the alcohol. And – she’s annoying! It’s got nothing to do with him, she’s just being annoying, right?

And then after simpering for far too long, the girl slipped away with a wink toward the toilets. Suki swore she heard her say ‘come and find me.’ Bryce saw Suki trying her hardest not to look at him, and slid across the bar towards her.

“Oh my,” he smirked. “You’re actually jealous.”

“Uh!” Suki scoffed, “jealous of what?”

“Her. Because you want to be the one I’m flirting with.”

“Don’t be so ridiculous. We’re just two people who sleep together, I don’t need you to flirt with me.”

“You like it though.” And with that he lifted one of his fingers on the bar to trace across her own. She didn’t want to admit that she liked the way she could see the tendons move amongst his silver rings.

“Stop,” she laughed dryly, hoping her face wasn’t giving away her embarrassment as it always did. She pulled her hand from his quickly, “I already told you I’m not here to boost your ego, and I am not jealous.”

“Well, if you say so, I’ll go and take her up on her offer.”

So she had told him to go and find her. But Suki didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t jealous, so there was nothing stopping him from going.

Bryce moved to go, and Suki was expecting him to go towards the toilets, but instead he crossed the circle to stand by Jackie.

God, what was she doing? She needed to get out of her head, and the best way to do that recently had been… well, sleeping with Bryce.

So she didn’t really think twice when her feet carried her over to him.

“You’re coming home with me tonight,” she whispered in his ear.

“Oh, am I?”

“Yes.”

“Well you see, I sort of was thinking about going home with her,” he nodded his head over to the girl from before, who was smiling at him from the other side of the bar.

“Sure, if that’s what you want,” she said lowly, “but I know exactly what you like.”

Bryce chuckled under his breath, already knowing he’d say yes.

“You don’t think they’ll notice?” He flicked his eyes to the roommates.

“We’ll figure it out.” As she said this Suki brushed a finger down the back of Bryce’s neck. Lust darkened his eyes and he looked at her from the corner of them.

“Yeah, we’re going to have to figure it out.”

—-

The next day, Suki was walking down the main halls on her way to a quick coffee break when she spotted something going on.

Bryce was pacing by the wall, and a couple of nurses were whispering a little ways away. His hands were frantically threading through his hair and dragging down his face. He paused for a moment, hands locked under his chin.

Suki couldn’t quite work out what was going on. She’d never seen him… frustrated? Before. And what on earth could have him so restless? He was an incredibly easygoing guy and ridiculously sure of himself.

Then he kicked the wall in frustration. A gruff grunt. The turning away afterwards to pace a little more. The flinch from the nearby nurses. The barely there whispered ‘fuck’ that Suki could only just make out. Suki rushed over to him.

“What are you doing?” She hissed, equal parts confused and concerned.

He seemed to jump ever so slightly at the sudden speech, but he didn’t even look at her as he responded.

“I fucking lost it. I lost the surgery.”

Oh. The bed-brag surgery he’d told her about last week. The one he was looking forward to so much, that had made his face swell with joy he couldn’t hide.

Suki could see from her angle his jaw was clenched tightly as though he was biting down on something hard to chew. She looked around the hall – people were staring.

“Hey-” She reached out and grabbed at a bunch of his shirt, pulling him through double doors down to a corridor nearby. It was thankfully empty.

“What?” Bryce asked, looking down the corridor.

“Everyone was looking, I assumed you’d want some privacy.”

“I don’t give a shit,” he growled. Suki was a little taken aback, but she continued anyway.

“What happened?”

“Doesn’t matter,” he snapped.

“I just wanna help, Bryce.”

Bryce then was surprised at her use of his name. It felt intimate, knowing. Sure she’d said it before, but it felt different.

“Yeah well this isn’t your business. We’re only-”

“Okay. Fine,” she cut him off, not needing to hear the rest of his sentence. If he didn’t want the help, there was nothing she could do.

“I- I’m sorry I’m just-“ he seemed to melt ever so slightly, the red dissipating and his eyes now looking into hers, realising he shouldn’t be taking this out on her.

“I know,” she said straightforwardly.

An unspoken understanding passed between the two.

Bryce sighed. “Apparently someone told Dr. Emery that I’m irresponsible.”

“What? On what grounds?”

He let out a dry laugh, shaking his head bitterly. “I don’t know. They’re already jealous of me for getting the surgery in the first place and apparently going out for karaoke the night before your first surgery is enough to be told you’re not taking this seriously.”

“Seriously? But I left yours before midnight? You slept well and barely even drank?”

He just shrugged, clearly aware that if he said much more he might get mad again.

“I’m sorry. Really. I know you were looking forward to that,” Suki said soberly.

He tried not to furrow his brow too hard as she looked up at him.

There was this awful nagging that part of this was her fault. Maybe if she hadn’t been so overcome with frustration at that girl and gone home with Bryce, this wouldn’t have happened. But then, it did seem an overreaction to take away a surgery from someone over karaoke. There must be more to the story. But Suki didn’t want to push, Bryce didn’t seem in the sharing mood.

Without even looking around, Bryce placed a hand on the wall and leaned in to kiss her.

“Bryce! Not here.” She backed away.

“Shit. Yeah.” He pushed off the wall and ran a hand down his worn face. “I just need to get over it.”

“You’re allowed to be annoyed about it!”

“Yeah, um, right.” He seemed… embarrassed? Was he annoyed that she hadn’t kissed him?

This wasn’t the guy she’d been sleeping with for the past couple of months; or the popular, happy-go-lucky college student she’d met all those years ago. It definitely wasn’t the guy who’d pretended to be Danny Zuko the night before. He was clearly pretty upset by this. Obviously, he puts so much pressure on himself, she thought.

“You wait here, ok? I’ll be right back,” she said sternly, before heading back through the double doors. A cold glass of water would be a good wake up call. Sure, it made sense that he’d turn to sex in his frustration, but he knew their rules. He knew they weren’t to hook up at work and Suki was wondering why he’d even tried. And then what his response had been about. That whole interaction was still reeling in Suki’s head as she reached the water dispenser.

But when Suki returned to the corridor, Bryce had disappeared.

[chocolate-failure]

I'm sick again. I woke up last night unable to breathe. I have no clue what's triggering this. It seemingly happens for no reason. Though my face is almost constantly broken out my armpit is fine and has been for weeks. Like I haven't even shaved it in weeks which I usually have to do maybe every two weeks.

Symptoms

Difficulty breathing out (shortness)

Chest pressure with small shocks of pain sometimes

Unproductive cough

Fever or feeling feverish

Joint ache/stiffness especially my upper back, neck, arms, wrists, and hips.

Chills

Malaise

Fatigue

Headache

Sensitivity to light

Dry mouth/eyes (usually already dry but it, my MFS especially, gets worse)

Weakness

Dizziness

Exercise intolerance

Trigger brainstorm:

If it's stress it's a lower threshold than my armpit.

I don't think it's food cuz I eat the same shit all the time. Same with alcohol, I drink sporadically but I haven't noticed a flare happen after drinking like what happens with my HS and beer.

It could be weather, I haven't noticed before but this time around it rained hours before. But it didn't happen in TN at all and it literally rained every fucking day there.

I'm not taking meds.

I did start my period a day before but again it didn't affect me during periods in TN.

It seemingly only happens at the house which could be indicative some kind of exposure or lack of insulation cuz the house is a fucking death trap.

It could be activity... maybe. I went on a pretty exhausting walk in the heat on Friday but it'd have to be something working in conjunction with exertion as I exert myself often.

[dayasbun]

Opposites - Fezco

Summary: in which rue hooks you up with a drug dealer that takes quite the interest in you. you're known for your soft spoken words and kind personality, and he's known for his drug selling habits and crude outlook on life- but opposites attract right?

Warnings: uh let's see there's bad words? no smut this time around just soft fluffy shiz but next time i'm not promising soft anythin- anyway i literally adored writing this and i just love fez+angus sm like come on y'all i need more fez and angus fics!!! this is 100% for @wakandamama cuz she keeps me supplied with that good good- and by that i mean those good ass fezco fics- anyway i hope y'all angels love reading this as much as i loved writing it :) <3 there are for sure an abundance of more fez fics coming your way- okay i'll shutup now- enjoy!!!!!!

-

Fezco.

Or Fez- that's what Rue called him, and you didn't know much about him. All you knew is that Rue and Gia swore you were 'his type' and that he was an actual drug dealer.

When the girls originally told you that he was a drug dealer you thought it was a joke; but you soon realized it was anything but. Being a drug dealers type isn't exactly what you wanted to hear when coming to visit the Bennett fam, but hey- work with what you got... right?

Your innocent and pure persona didn't match the energy you assumed would come from the Fez you kept hearing about...however, opposites do attract-so you couldn't help but to be just the tiniest bit interested.

The party you and Rue walked into smelled so strongly of weed- you hated it. Alot. Drugs and weed were never your thing, you'd much rather read a book than get high- drinking you could deal with, but you preferred to know what you were doing and not have your mind altered often.

"Come onnnnn- I know he's here I just know it-"

"Rue, the reason we're here is not only to see your little friend Fez, I came to this party to have fun?"

"Y/N you don't smoke or do drugs, you only drink so what's really the definition of fun to you?"

You rolled your eyes walking off, headed to the kitchen for a drink. You didn't want to get drunk, but you wanted a buzz. The kitchen was surprisingly empty, so taking advantage of that you cracked open a new bottle of tequila and took a couple bitter shots. You were a bit of a lightweight, so two shots was your cutoff before beginning to sputter over the edge.

"Pour me some ight?"

You looked up at the face the voice belonged to and your eyes widened.

Now look, you'd seen quite a few men in your lifetime. You had a decent amount of experience, but you didn't sleep around. You had seen all of the blonde douchey men, the sweet brunette boys and the basic men that just didn't care about anything but sex. But this man you were looking up at was- damn. You didn't have any history with redheads but you were most definitely considering a future with one right now- maybe it was the alcohol telling you that but holy shi-

"Mhm, what you want baby?" your confidence boosted out of nowhere...another shot suddenly didn't seem too bad.

"Just a few shots, maybe a cup of the shit so it actually effects me you feel?"

You grabbed a red cup and poured some of the alcoholic drink in it. "What's your name handsome?" you questioned as you handed it to him.

"Fez."

Holy shit- so this was Fez. Drug dealer Fez; but for fucks sake look at him, if you were actually his type like Rue claimed you felt as though it was a blessing straight from God himself.

"I'm Y/N, nice to meet you." you held out your hand and poured another shot for yourself after he shook it.

"So who's your people? I ain't seen you 'round here. I woulda remembered if I had."

"I'm a friend of Rue and Gias, they're like family to me but no blood."

He looked you up and down, making you feel self conscious but also straight up horny...you needed to stop, you really needed to stop. You didn't know for sure if it was him or the alcohol making you feel like this, but above all you were pretty sure it was all him.

"Rue and G? They chill, so you good then?"

"What?"

"Like you not a snitch. You know what I do- I think you know anyway if you tight with Rue."

"That rhymed!" you giggled with a grin. He gave you a confused look but soon softened up and chuckled. "Yeah, I guess it did."

"I won't snitch, i'm not like that..."

"Good baby, good." he took a sip of the drink you poured for him and you almost poured another shot for yourself but refrained. You were tipsy but you weren't drunk- and you didn't want to be drunk.

"So Rue told me I'm your type, was she right?"

Yeah, that was definitely the alcohol talking- you would never ask anything like that.

"Ion know yet, give me a spin."

"A spin...?" you spun around, feeling a bit dizzy in result.

"You cute as hell, i'm not finna lie. But ion even know y-"

"Then get to know me, Fez." you said a bit more seductively than you had planned.

"Nah cuz see I know you drunk. And you fine as hell I'm not even finna play with you, but I can't mess with you when you drunk. Rue said you a lightweight."

"I'm not!" you reassured him "Just tipsy, I know everything that's going on- you're Fez, I'm Y/N and we're at a party that smells way too heavily of weed."

"If you don't like weed you really must hate me then."

"I definitely don't hate you..."

Beards were never really your thing, but god Fez's beard was most definitely past acceptable- it was so perfect on him? Everything on him seemed as though it had been perfectly placed by God to be there.

"We should get outta here. I know some people looking for me and I ain' tryna get you tied all up in some shit you know nun about. Come on."

"Oooh naughty drug dealer," you teased with a grin "Such a bad boy, what are the feds coming for you? Is that it?"

He turned to look at you, and the serious look on his face caused you to wonder if maybe the feds actually were, leading to your grin quickly ceasing.

He kept his arm around your waist so that you stayed close to him, it was almost like he thought you'd slip away if he let you go for a second. As you two made your way through the crowd you saw Rue winking at you in the distance- damnit she probably planned this.

Eventually after a blur of conversation and giggles, you two made it to his house. It smelled just as heavily as weed as the party did- but strangely enough this was different, you barely even noticed.

"Get out them clothes, I know Rue probably made you wear 'em. They don't really look like you, you feel? I got some hoodies and shit you can chill in."

God yes- a man willingly offering his hoodies for you to wear? Was this love or was this a fucking dream? And he was right, Rue had forced you into the skimpy clothing claiming that it made you look 'sexy'. You hated it, but you couldn't disagree with her- you looked hot.

Fez stepped out of the room to let you change, which you found absolutely precious. You were starting to completely sober up from the tad of tipsy you had inflicted on yourself earlier. Once you were in his green hoodie and a pair of sweats that were way too big for you, you opened the door only to find him standing outside of it on his phone.

"Hey, I'm done." you said softly, a small smile playing on your lips. He nodded and walked in kicking the door closed behind him. You two sat on the bed, not too close but not too far.

"You tired or?"

You nodded as your first response "A bit, yes. I drove here this morning and it took a good 6 hours so...yeah."

"Shit 6 hours? Crazy."

"Yeah, and the second I got here the first person I heard about was you."

"Oh for real? Rue tryna help me out." he laughed- a genuine laugh- for the first time and it made you feel weak in the knees, thank god you were sitting down. "Of course lil sis would try to hook me up wit' somebody she see as her big sis."

You nodded looking down at your hands.

"Do I scare you?"

You looked over at him and shook your head rapidly "Not at all."

"You seem a lil bit tense is all."

You shrugged "Maybe it's because i'm tired, maybe I just need to relax."

"Yeah baby, relax." You felt his hands- his big ass hands- on your shoulders. He started moving them at the perfect speed and you felt your stress begin to slowly fade away.

"That's nice..." you groaned a bit as you felt your posture melt into an unflattering position.

Fez grinned and stopped. "I got magic hands on God! Like for real I start massaging and all the bitches just start coming to me-"

You burst out laughing "Oh yeah I'm sure they're running right now!"

He nodded "You know it...I like yo vibe. It's different. You a lil soft but I think we all is sometimes."

"Even you?"

"Nah not m-"

"Does Fezy Wezy get soft sometimes too?"

"Okay you can stop wit' that shit right now for real-" he said seriously but with the goofiest smile on his face. You laughed laying back in the bed and taking in the scent of the sheets that for some reason you liked- a mix of smoke with coffee and some type of old ass man cologne. You felt the bed dip some a few moments later as he lay by you.

"How long you here for?"

"Just a couple weeks, that's the plan anyway."

"The plan? What you implying, you tryna stay longer for me?"

You turned over looking at him "Boy shutup, you haven't even kissed me yet."

"Yeah sorry lil mama but that's not happening."

"What?" you said confused and felt genuinely hurt for a minute.

"Cuz you finna kiss me first. I'm irresistible."

"Jesus Fez-" you laughed shaking your head "Irresistible isn't the word, but the words 'too much' do come to mi-"

He cut you off by pressing his lips against yours, his beard tickling your chin. Your lips moved in perfect harmony for a minute before you two let off.

"So who's irresistible now Mr. Tough Guy?"

"Still me, who's bed we in right now?"

"Shutuppppp!" you laughed. You were so genuinely happy right now, a man hadn't made your face light up with the most gorgeous smile like this in ages.

"So tell me a lil bit about you. You give me a lot of 'Hi! I'm Little Miss Perfect!' vibes- but aye, I'm not one to judge so-"

"Oh god- I wish I could say that you were right but you're not...I don't know I mean...I've had my share of shit I've done, who hasn't? But I just try to stay grounded, never change who I am. I always love seeing the best in people, even when there's not much to see."

"Yeah? What you see in me then."

"I see a genuinely sweet man with a tough exterior. An attractive tough exterior but- that's definitely besides the point."

He chuckled at that, it made you smile.

"I think you're very caring." you continued softly, "I think you worry about others more than yourself. You'd take a bullet for someone you love, I don't know maybe you already have. But I don't think the tough guy that sells drugs that everyone sees is just who you are...there's so much mo- woah okay I am talking way too much-"

He watched you so carefully as you spoke, soaking up every word as though a sponge would with water. "Damn girl, the way you talk got me over here thinking I'm in love or some shit."

You laughed shaking your head "I'm just being completely honest Fez."

"Completely?"

"Completely."

He hummed and closed his eyes "I'm feeling kinda tired. But don't bail on me in the morning, you better be here when I wake up so I can make your fine ass some breakfast."

"If your breakfast is as good as your massages are, I'll most definitely still be here." you taunted as you cuddled into him, your head on his chest as you listened to his heartbeat beat a bit faster than it was supposed to.

"Rumor says the breakfast actually be better- it hits different trust me."

You smiled yet again- probably the billionth time that night. "Go to sleep Fez."

"Ight Ight. Nighty night Lil Miss Perfect."

"That will never be my nickname and I swear to God if you say it again you'll wake up in this bed alone."

"Damn okay! Goodnight Y/N."

"Goodnight Fez."

-

it's 1:48 AM and i just finished this- but wow i have no regrets this is so long i think it's one of the longest i've ever written? not quite sure didn't do a word count but feeling proud and loving angus//fez more and more every damn day :p gn!