#(but worry not i will feel dreadful again soon when i go to my 1st and 2nd yr classes)

[minglana]

sometimes i feel desperate and like im going nowhere and im achieving nothing with the degree im studying, but then i do lab/practical classes for my 3rd yr classes where we literally look at seeds and identify them and it all goes away🥰

[six40seven]

September 16-18th

I didnt go to school. I told Niki i was feeling too sick to and she just nodded and said it was fine. Just by her body language i could tell she was distracted by something else and i didnt want to bother her more then necessary. I wanted to say thanks to all the people on here sending kind messages and concerned asks. I am okay. I was just a little rattled these last few days and well, of course today. I havent slept in almost 32 hours. There is no way in hell im closing my eyes and waking up somewhere strange again with no recollection of how i got there.

This doesnt make sense, and i can tell youre telling me in your head “Ran you need to sleep.” And i know you’re right but it was just horrifying. I have a hard enough time remembering what i do when im awake. Why would this suddenly start happening to me. Its unfair. I was doing fine. Now im not, and i dread falling asleep again. Im too afriad to ask Niki to instal a lock of sorts so last night and the night before and really any time I’ve been feeling the urge to sleep.. well I’ve began to tie my foot to my post. ITS NOT TIGHT. I just dont want to wander off again.

Fall break is soon. I mean sorta. I attempted to attend school online the second day home after the ordeal but my connection was too shit. I guess its the trees blocking the signal. Or maybe the mountains. Speaking of trees, i havent left my house since that day. I dont want to risk whatever happened happening again, worse while im awak. Not that i think it will but the way the trees just… tempt me sometimes. I cant risk walking to the bus or walking even out of my house. WHEERE i use to consider it a blessing to not live in the town houses, i now regret never moving closer. Fuck. Its been so long since I’ve been outside im worried my skin will fall off my body and ill die if i spend one more day barred in my room.

Its okay, for the most part. besides the natural (?) urge i have to be outside all the time. Ive sort of forgotten to document much these o past few days. But i dont think anything else significant happened. As far as related to me. Niki didnt come back the first night and i spent all that time in ym room with the blind drawn and the lights on. I was afriad if i turned the lights off i would nod off. I ended up watching YouTube and Netflix on my laptop as well as cleaning my entire room.

Usually my room is a trash heap, i like it that way, its like having my own nest. But that first night. I couldn’t stand all the things and i pretty much Ed cleaned everything top to bottom in less then 3 hours. I found a few interested things while i was doing that, including but not limited to: a box full of my old Polaroids and camera, a stuffed animal i thought i had lost which went back onto my bed, and a total of 20 spare dollars made mostly out of 1 Dollar bills and quarters.

The only thing of real interest was the Polaroid camera. I thought i lost that thing years and years ago. I only know i had one at all because i have some older pictures pinned places and tucked into my phone case. Theyre all of people i dont really know but i like to think i do so i can carry some part of them with me. They must have been important to me at some point yk. So i decided to look through and sort out any of the Polaroids i remeber or anything like that. These are my findings. I’ll explain them after i show them to you.

starting at the left top and going left to right. It reads Nov 1st 20##. all of these are from when i was a kid. maybe when i was in 4th or 5th grade? Im not entirely sure the exact age i was. The photo shown is a picture i must have taken of some sort of important journal entry, i cant really read it but at least if i ever needed to remeber taking a picture.. I remember, thanks past me.

The next one, in order, is a picture of two shadows. Maybe three. Probably me. Maybe Niki… or Eryn. we were close when we were kids and hes in two of these already. So ill just mention him. idk if he will be okay with me talking about him on here. I dont think he knows i have this account. hopefully he doesnt find it. Not that i would care very much. He just doesnt like me. The caption is just a date. oct 3rd. no year. I wonder when it happened? sometime in my childhood probably. I havent used this camera in years and years. I lost it so long ago.

The third is a weirdly saturated picture of a park in my town. The bigger town. Its just weird. And the caption says… evacuating or something. Its sorta weird. also Niki might have taken this picture because her name is on it too. Seems like her type of thing. from what i remeber as a kid, when we still lived in the big town, she was into weird saturated pictures. Something about scene. I dont know really.

The fourth is on the second line of pictures i found in the Box. On the bottom left. It says July 20## again sometime in my childhood. It shows aforementioned Eryn crouching ont he ground showing something to everyone. Or the viewer. I can see myself, or younger me. Younger me off to the side. Someone else took this picture. I dont remeber this happening. But it was important enough to keep so there it is. Thats pretty much it.

The fifth, wow thats a lot of numbers. Its got a smiley face :) on it. and its a picture of the lake. Yk the one bordering the left side of the bigger town. Its one of the smaller more muddy parts so its all gross. Probably from a hike that i wanted to remeber with Niki or something. I loved the lake when i was a kid. It was fun to swim in but after… after awhile i stopped going and then it closed because of something weird and now you can only go hiking near and around it.

The sixth. A picture of me and ****** hugging. Eryn in the background. It reads Eryn & ##### July. Its a cute picture. I dont know… who ****** is? Yeah i dont know. but i must have known them at one point because thats them. Yeah. They look familiar in the worse way and i pretty much threw that one back in the box as soon as I could. I dont like lookign at it. My stomach hurts when i do.

The seventh. And last a picture of a cat. Even when i was a kid i also apparently liked cats. It reads Spring 20##.

So yeah. I just wanted to say im glad i was able to find them and document them somewhere. I also thought while im explaing photos and stuff ill go into a little detail about what i discovered from that night. Posted on here.

The first piece is clearly a path somewhere in the forest. If i were to say, somewhere further in the mountains, near where the older remains of mines are. The only thing wrong about this piece is that…. When i posted it, theres no wya for there to have been snow. So either the photo is altered in some way, which is unlikely, because from what i can tell it was posted in the middle of the night. Or it was actually snowing wherever i was. even though all the previous days it had been raining.

The next picture looks like some sort of underground tunnel, lined with bricks and ending in step leading up to a barred and maybe locked? I dont know, barred iron gate. I have never seen that place before. Ive been in a lot of abandoned buildings that I’ve found near here but I’ve never seen something like this. The only explaination i can give for the location is possibly a sewer enterance somewhere in the basement of one of the older buildings, not from the big town but rather from the smaller town nearer to my house. Again, it looks like its snowing. Which makes no sense in any context, since it was snowing when i woke up (even though i said i thought it was) and because if this was underground where would snow be coming from? The title says… I heard you. Im here. I dont remeber this. Obviously. and i dont know who i would have.. heard? It doesnt make any sense.

The third picture… i dont have much to say. It looks dark. Maybe its related to the second picture, maybe its on the otherside of the gate. But I’ve never seen a place that dark before. Especially if it has walls. which I think it does. so it must be in a building somewhere out in the forest. Sorta supports my abandoned building theory. Or abandoned mine shaft? I have no idea. But the capture is clearly a long hallway. the caption says something is wrong. No duh. I am clearly self aware even if i dont remeber. I wonder if i act different..

Anyway, thats all for the last few days. I probably will end up attending school tomorrow. Niki isnt home yet, its near the end of the day so if she isnt home by now im assuming shes staying overnight at the office. wouldn’t be the first, wont be the last. I might get a snack before trying not to fall asleep a third night in a row. If anyone wants to chat with me, ill be open to the distractions.

[an-emovision]

❞𝕃𝕠𝕧𝕖 𝕃𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕐𝕠𝕦❞ - 𝕋𝕒𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕚 𝔸𝕞𝕒𝕛𝕚𝕜𝕚

~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀ A/N: Hi! so uhhhh had this in my drafts, im gonna post it and pretend i like it because thats how i roll. I love tamaki so much please. again, art isnt mine, credits to the original artist (idk who it is, if you know then please tell me so i can give credit) neewayz enjoy! Trigger Warnings(s): Fluff(?)  ~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀~̴̡͉̞̈́̀ ❞𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑖'𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝐿𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑎𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑔𝑜 𝑖 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑖 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑖 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑖𝑚 𝑠𝑜 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙❞ --------- You were a very outgoing person, very cheery and kind, always willing to talk to people and make friends. The almost exact opposite of Amajiki and yet he just couldn't seem to stop himself from falling for you. Every day he always found himself stealing glances of you in class, occasionally the two would lock eyes. You'd smile that brilliantly bright smile of yours and make Amajikis stomach do back flips and his heart flutter, he would always turn away before any further contact could be made. On one particular day Nejire had asked you to sit with the big three at lunch, to which you happily agreed to. Amajiki almost had a melt down when Nejire had told him, to which Mirio patted him on the back giving him a "you got this dude!" a grin, and a thumbs up. It made the poor boy feel...slightly better but as you approached them in the cafeteria Amajiki tried his best to keep himself together. Why did you have to be so attractive? how dare you, it was unfair really. He just couldn't take his eyes off you, confidence radiated from your form. Mirio once told him that if he waited to long that someone would steal you, Nejire agreed. You were after all one of the most popular students at UA, not only was your quirk amazing and your fighting skills godly but your looks where beyond words, Amajiki was painfully aware of these facts. "Hi guys!" You grinned and Tamaki almost fainted. "Glad you could join us!" Nejire smiled as she took you by the wrist and dragged you to their lunch table, you couldn't help but giggle at her excitement as she asked you a bunch of questions about you and your quirk. Most of the quirk questions she asked she most likely already knew the answer to, you four being in the same class and all. Nejire took a seat next to Mirio, across from you and Amajiki. "Soooo Y/N...Do you have a crush on anybody?" Nejire asked suddenly, making you choke on the tea you where sipping on. "I-I uh-" You tried to avoid looking at Nejires grinning features, she already knew the answer to her question. Of course you did and it was none other then the boy you where sitting next to, you didn't answer her question, simply coughed and continued to sip on your drink. She sucked her teeth, unsatisfied with your answer, if you could even call it that. Mirios eyes wandered to Nejire then to Tamaki who was silently eating his food, his face was beet red at how close you and him were, your shoulders where brushing against each other. Then Mirio looked at you, whos cheeks were dusted with a light shade of pink as you tried to brush off the last conversation topic. He rolled his eyes and had to fight the urge to just blurt out that the two of you should date each other already. Soon the lunch bell rang and it was time to head back to class, Amajiki let out a soft sigh as the four of you started heading to your shared classroom, you and Nejire chatting about a show that she had starting watching recently. Mirio fell behind them a bit so he could walk beside Tamaki. "So, When are you gonna tell them?" He asked, knowing full well that it would take some sort of miracle to get Amajiki to confess to his crush of two years. The shorter gave a small shrug before slipping his hands into his pockets. "I-I don't know...Really i don't think i ever will. " He again let out a gentle, almost sad sigh "I dont think i'm good enough for them, they're so amazing." "Aw come on Tamaki! you're part of the big three!" Mirio gently nudged him with his elbow, to which Tamakjis eyes wandered to the opposite direction. "They think you're awesome" "Well yeah but they're right behind us on the list of top students" Amajiki informed him. It was true, you were almost part of the big three yourself but you ended up failing a test by 6 points and getting knocked to fourth. You didn't mind, you where pretty comfortable in your spot. "What're you guys talkin' about?" Nejire asked, walking backwards and looking at them with the same sweet smile she always had gracing her soft features. "How awesome Y/N is" Mirio patted Amajikis back, making him let out a soft hum. You tilted your head "Oh yeah? im honored." You smiled "You guys are way cooler then i am." Nejire giggled, Tamaki stiffened at her sudden question "So which of our quirks is your favorite, Y/N?" You hummed, tapping your chin for a moment. Tamaki expected you to say Nejires quirk seeing as you two have been friends since you both stepped into class 1-A in your 1st year at UA. "I think Amajikis quirk is the coolest" You smiled to him, Tamaki noticed and then you smiled it was as if your eyes where smiling to, his heart practically exploded, barely able to get out a 'thank you'. You giggled at his shyness, finding it adorable as always. Nejire couldn't help but giggle at the two of you, Mirios grin widened as he two watched you to. "Nice choice Y/N" Nejire smiled as she took you by the hand as you four made it to class, seeing as you and her sat next to each other she lead you to your seats, ready to take on the rest of your day you sat down as class began. As the end of the day rolled around you stretched as you made your way to the front of your dorm building. You had some homework to do as well as some studying, then you thought you could train a bit then- You had bumped into someone, not to hard it just startled you a bit as you where to deep in thought, planning out the rest of your day. You quickly bowed "I'm so sorry I wasn't paying atten-...Amajiki? what're you doing here?" You had bumped into Tamaki, not only that but he was standing in front of your dorm room. "O-Oh I uh- I-I" He stumbled harshly through his words, on top of that he was mumbling. You noticed a small piece of folded paper in his slightly trembling hands and smiled, just as you noticed it he stopped mumbling and actually spoke up a bit. "I-I just- I wanted t-to give this to you" he held out the slip of paper, avoiding eye contact with you at all costs. You gently took the paper from him but before you could get another word out he scurried down the hall and disappeared around the corner. You watched him leave, letting out a small chuckle before unlocking your door and walking in, closing the door behind you with your foot and gently setting your school bag down. The day before, after class Mirio had suggested to Amajiki that he should write you a letter if he couldn't just out right tell you. "Like...A love letter?" Tamaki tilted his head. He didn't know how he felt about that, his writing skills weren't bad he just dreaded having to wait for your response, not only that but even considering rejection as a factor made him wanna puke. "Don't worry, i'm like 90% sure that even if they do reject you they'll be nice about it" Mirio gave a thumbs up as he finally convinced Amajiki to start on the letter that could make or break him. It was a huge deal, you were his first ever crush and he never thought in a million years he would be confessing to you. "They're nice about everything" Tamaki mumbled as he continued to write his letter. Miro chuckled and nodded in agreement. "Exactly, you have nothing to worry about." Tamaki wondered why he was so confident about this, maybe Mirio knew you would turn him down? Thinking about that being a possibility created a pit of nervousness in his stomach. Really it was the opposite, Mirio knew you would say yes, he was just excited to finally see his favorite ship finally become a couple. Back to the present you took a seat on your bed before unfolding the note and beginning to read it. Your eyes where wide as saucers when you finished reading it, the final sentence replaying in your mind at least a hundred times "Will you go out with me?"Butterflies invaded your stomach and your cheeks flushed, you decided to give him your answer tomorrow, wanting it to sink in that the boy you've had a crush on since the dawn of time liked you back. Amajiki was dying in his room as he awaited your answer, Mirio who had come over to study with him was laughing his ass off at the boys struggle. The next day you where standing in front of Amajikis dorm room with both Mirio and Nejire at your side, they had their phones out ready to take pictures of this momentous occasion. You took a deep breath before gently knocking on his door three times, it took him a moment or two before he opened the door, he immanently stiffened as he locked eyes with you. Bracing himself for rejection he waited for it but all he heard were the words he had been wanting to hear for the past two years "I like you to Amajiki" Nejire squealed and clapped as Mirio laughed "finally oh my god" Mirio said crossing his arms. Amajiki stood frozen, having to register what just happened, after coming to the conclusion that the love of his life did indeed just agree to date him he felt a sudden rush of adrenaline and pulled you towards him by the wrist, placing his slightly quivering lips against your silky smooth ones. Nejire practically screamed as she took about a thousand pictures, Mirio looked away jokingly acting disgusted but he couldn't hold back his happiness for his friends, they found love and he was beyond proud of Amajiki for going through with his plan.   Your eyes where wide and your face was crimson by the time Amajiki pulled away. He started to apologize profusely as he realized what he just did, which resulted in you having to tell him it was fine over and over again. The two where walking together hand in hand as you made your way to class, as shy as he may be he still wanted everyone in the world and their mother know that you belonged to him now and nothing walking this Earth was going to change that. 

[be11atrixthestrange]

The Luckiest (19 Years Later)

I wrote this as an epilogue to my multichapter fic, Completely Mental, but it works as a standalone drabble too. So here it is! I just love these boys (men!), and I love their friendship.  #HarryAndRonBrotp

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19 Years Later

The soft autumn sun smiled down on the Burrow’s grounds, its reflection illuminating the windows like a lighthouse. A crisp breeze whistled through the garden, bringing with it a hint of cooler days to come. Inside, the smell of dinner sizzling on the stove, butterbeer bottles clinking, children playing, and adults laughing filled the room, but it was still too quiet for Harry’s liking.

Harry always loved September. Growing up, September marked the transition from 4 Privet Drive to Hogwarts, and it came with a sweeping feeling of relief knowing he’d finally be able to see his friends again. Every year, his anticipation for September would grow stronger and start sooner, until summer eventually became something to endure rather than enjoy.

His love of autumn — and by extension, his distaste for summer — persisted into adulthood, even when life moved on after the war. Although there were no more shopping trips to Diagon Alley, journeys on the Hogwarts Express, or sorting hat ceremonies reinforcing Harry’s eagerness for the fall, his feelings remained. Harry would wake up on September 1st giddy and eager, like a child on Christmas Eve, and then proceed to make breakfast for the kids and floo to the Ministry for an Auror meeting, just like any other day. There was no longer anything particularly exciting about September, but he kept a tight grip on his memories of the scarlet steam engine, trolley snacks, and welcome feasts.

That all changed two years ago when James began his first year at Hogwarts. That year, September 1st brought a change that he wasn’t ready for — watching his son board the Hogwarts Express. James’ eyes sparkled with excitement, but Harry shared none of the enthusiasm. Instead, Harry’s stomach felt heavy with dread as he watched the train roll away, smiling and waving at James’ anxious face in the window while holding back tears and desperately wishing it was still August.

The following year wasn’t any easier, and today was even worse. When Albus joined James on the train, it took all of Harry’s effort to reassure him that everything would be okay because, for Harry, it probably wouldn’t. It was funny how Harry could defeat Voldemort at seventeen, but he was still convinced that saying goodbye to his kids on platform nine and three-quarters was the most difficult thing he’d ever do.

Harry was half-listening to the hustle and bustle of the Burrow and trying not to get too comfy in the extra spaciousness in the living room, made possible only by the absence of the older children when he spotted a flash of red outside in the garden. Ron was sitting alone on a bench, cradling a butterbeer, his hair a stark contrast to the muted green of the overgrown lawn.

Without a second thought, Harry moved toward the Burrow’s exit, following the narrow stone pathway that curved into the garden. It didn’t cross his mind whether or not Ron wanted to be alone, and even if he did, there was an unspoken agreement between them that ‘alone’ didn’t exclude being with each other.

Ron smiled ruefully when he spotted Harry approaching, but it only lasted a second before his shoulders slumped and his smile vanished. “Hey, mate.”

“Hey,” said Harry, plopping down beside Ron on the bench. Ron shifted sideways to make room for him. “You okay?”

“Dunno,” said Ron, before bringing his butterbeer to his lips and taking in a long gulp.

“Thinking about Rosie?” asked Harry.

Ron nodded and coughed, clearing his throat from his oversized sip. “Bloody hate that she’s gone.”

“I know the feeling,” said Harry. “Was even worse this year with Al going too.”

“I bet. Sorry, mate.”

A few comfortable moments of silence passed, as both men knew perfectly well that there was nothing to say to make the other feel better.

Ron gulped down the rest of his butterbeer before speaking again. “I just hope she’s okay.”

Harry smiled, remembering how he said that about James his first year. When James turned out fine, better than fine, Harry had to admit his concern was for his own loneliness rather than James’ safety. “She’s probably fine, but you know that,” he says, earning a moment of confused eye contact from Ron. “It’s us you should worry about.”

“We almost died at Hogwarts. So many times,” said Ron, a wistful smile forming on his lips.

“And thanks to us,” said Harry, “they have it better than we did. Either way, she’s a tough girl. Smart. You raised a good one.”

“Thank Merlin she takes after her mum.”

Harry laughed. Hermione always said that Rose took after Ron, not her. Harry thought it was both. They probably saw the best traits in their daughter and assumed they were from the other parent. “Rosie takes after you a lot more than you think.”

“That’s what Hermione says. But thanks, now I’m even more worried,” laughed Ron. “Think Rosie and Albus’ll be in Gryffindor together?”

“No doubt about Rosie,” said Harry, as the memory of Rosie’s first time on a broomstick resurfaced. Rosie’s face was scarlet-red with excitement as she took a nosedive toward the ground, followed by a frenzied and panicked Ron. The cushioning charm he just barely cast in time turned out to be unnecessary, as she swerved at the last second to avoid a collision, but Harry was pretty sure Ron’s blood pressure had never returned to a normal level.

“Yeah, stupid question,” laughed Ron. He smiled, and Harry wondered if he was recalling the same memory or one of the many other times Rosie demonstrated Gryffindor courage, even if it meant disregarding her own safety. “What about Albus?”

“Honestly, no clue. I could see him being in Gryffindor or Slytherin,” he said, noticing Ron wince at ‘Slytherin.’ Ron’s reaction filled Harry with a parental defensiveness he wasn’t expecting, and he added pointedly, “I’ll be proud of him either way.”

Ron nodded in agreement, maybe a bit too eagerly, but it momentarily settled the passing fear that Albus would be sorted into a different house than his siblings and cousins. It wasn’t that Harry didn’t want him to be in Slytherin, he just didn’t want him to be alone.

But maybe Albus wanted to be in a different house than his family, and Harry was just projecting.

“I wonder who they’re sitting with on the train,” said Ron as if reading Harry’s mind. Then he flashed his lopsided grin, still goofy and youthful even at the ripe age of thirty-seven. “You know those unfortunate souls will have to be their friends for the rest of time.”

Unfortunate souls. Harry smiled at the insinuation that becoming Ron’s best friend was determined as soon as they found that empty compartment together on the Hogwarts Express. Maybe Neville was meant to lose his toad, and Hermione’s subsequent intrusion was no accident. As far as Harry was concerned, prophecies had only caused him trouble, but maybe he owed destiny a token of gratitude, too. “Whatever souls they’re sitting next to are extremely lucky.”

“The luckiest,” added Ron with a nostalgic smile.

It was unclear if Ron was still referring to the kids at this point, but it didn’t matter. It was all the same to Harry. They were the luckiest.

--------------------------------------

For more moments like this, read Completely Mental on Ao3 or FFN. Now complete! <3

[annaofthenorthernlights]

Cruising beyond sunrise

This is my fanfic-contribution to the Frozen Fanzine Volume 5: Summer lovin - organised by @frozines! Hope you enjoy - happy frozine everyone ❤️

Pairing: Kristanna, modern AU setting

Rating: G

Summary: Anna and Kristoff set out for their individual summer jobs on a cruising ship along Norway´s coastline. Meeting "accidently" on the way to Hamburg´s harbour, the journey spins off "kristanna-slow burn-style..."

Chapter 1 / 4 (find the complete fic on AO3)

Somewhere in Southern Germany

For Anna, the invitation for this summer job came right in time. All her family would not be there during those long following weeks. Her parents were abroad on business reason, and Elsa had decided to join the summer camp of the philharmonic orchestra. She was a fabulous harp player after all. But then, Anna felt lonely. After breaking up with that unfaithful brat of a boyfriend… It had already been so many weeks since the disastrous night, where she had walked right in the middle of things, with him being served in the most intimate ways by his secretary… Yack! Anna´s eyes still filled with tears of fury and disappointment when the scenery flashed back before her inner eye.

Her suitcase was finally packed, and all her music devices sorted and stored neatly within her luggage. Anna was ready to depart and embark on the summer trip of her life! If only she wouldn´t feel so lonely… Ah, well, soon she would be surrounded by lots of people and fun programs. She was ready to go!

Somewhere else in Southern Germany

Normally, Kristoff would not travel inland by plane. But the ticket was paid by the shipping company, and he was kind of short on time. So, he would accept the offer and was on his way to Munich airport. He had mastered his finals and until starting his new job, he could just as well earn some money with this summer occupation. It might be a good start off into his career. Still, being surrounded by numerous people all day long, that was not his vision of a quiet and peaceful summer. With a sigh, he stuffed the ticket in his travel bag.

His suitcase was packed, and all his literature supply sorted neatly within his luggage. Kristoff was ready to risk the wave of vacation feeling washing over him.

***

The flight from Munich to Hamburg would take approx. 1 hour. Already they were delayed due to rain and maintenances still going on. Kristoff tried to relax in his seat, but then this size of airplane was not built for big guys like him. He tried to stretch and stretch his legs into the aisle without hindering the still boarding passengers. He desperately hoped they would take off soon, so he could leave this cocoon like cage after their landing. So, he flicked through the plane magazine to distract himself, when he noticed a person stopping just by his side. The woman was about to store her bag just atop of his head. She was small, tiptoed to the upmost maximum and stretched to the extent that Kristoff thought she was about to do pull-ups while dangling at the storage box. Some sort of moaning and sighing noises came to his ears, but nobody seemed obliged to help the tiny lady.

“You need help up there?” he asked, peering up from his seat.

“Huh?” the young woman glanced down between her arms and smiled at him. “That´s very kind of you, thanks, but I manage.” She then somehow shrank back to her normal size and stood there, with a shy grin and pulled up shoulders.

“I´m sorry, but may I…?” She pointed to the window seat.

“Oh, yes, sorry.” Kristoff made some efforts to peel himself out of his seat. For some reason, he seemed stuck. This was ridiculous and he swore under his breath, in his mind strangling the architect of this seating construction.

“Oh, you know what? Don´t bother yourself. Just hang on.” And with that, before Kristoff realised what was happening, the young lady started to climb over his legs, holding on with one hand to the backrest of his seat and with the other to the seat in front of them. Within a jiffy she´d swung herself with ease into the seat next to him and wriggled herself into a cosy position. Of course, she was small and delicate of figure. She could move in here like a little fish in the water. For a short moment, Kristoff envied the small person next to him. But then, excuse me, how rude was her behaviour. He couldn´t help to clear his throat and then stare back at his magazine. What else was there to do?

“Oh no!” The girl exclaimed.

“You´re alright?” Kristoff asked vaguely, glancing over briefly.

“I left my mobile up in my bag, and I thought of listening to some music.” She gnawed on her lips and was about to get up.

“Would you mind? I´m so sorry. But you don´t need to bother yourself again. I can just as well…”

“No. No. That´s totally fine, really!” Kristoff pushed himself out of his seat as fast as he could before someone could climb over him again for the second time within two minutes…

“Oh thanks! That´s so kind!”

After the energetic neighbour had plumped herself back into her window seat, Kristoff turned his attention to his book that he had fished out of his bag before sitting back again.

After the plane had taken off, the flight continued in a peaceful manner, for the girl had plugged her earpads and was listening to music all the time. Only the snack break would stop her from napping with little snores or then happily humming along to the songs. According to the tunes that emerged from her lips, she had to be listening to ABBA.

It was hard concentrating that way, but after a while Kristoff got used to it and for some reason the humming didn´t bother him as much anymore.

And when the plane finally landed, he was off as fast as possible to escape that tiny place and the crowd of people that were all around him.

***

Anna stood at the docks in awe. She had never been on a ship like this one or seen anything like it from close up. Excitement filled her and the thought of being part of this adventure for the next two weeks. The change of tapestry would do her good, she was sure. Since that dreadful time of new year, Anna hadn´t been able to go anywhere or participate in any activity really. The shock of catching Hans, cheating on her in such a horrifying way, had kept her ensnared for weeks. Her family hadn´t been of much help. Of course, they´d been helpless as well. In their ways, leaving her alone, for a good reason, Anna understood them. Finally, she had found relief and regained her composure by repeatedly talking to her aunt Gerda, who had shown her so much appreciative value and heart-care!

“Hi there. Are you alright?”

The friendly voice next to her interrupted her thoughts. Anna turned to face a lovely woman with big almond shaped eyes and ebony skin. Her hair was an impressive bunch of black, neatly combed into a braid that fell all down over her chest.

“Oh, hi. I´m sorry. I´ve never been on a ship like this and had to take a long look first.”

“Yes. It´s quite impressive, isn´t it. By the way, I´m Honeymaren.”

“Oh, I´m Anna. Nice to meet you. Are you going to work here, too?”

“Yes, I´m the 1st hostess and here to help if you have any questions. So, what are you going to do aboard?”

“Me? Oh, I´m here as a fitness instructress.”

“Ah. That is fantastic. Welcome aboard Arendelle lights! Come on, I will show you around and sign you in, alright?”

Anna was so grateful to have met Honeymaren. First, she seemed so kind and then, Anna would have a safe contact in case of an emergency on her behalf. She was about to get a bit nervous, though. If only she would not mess this up and make a fairly good job here!

Her cabin was alongside the other staff lodges, and she loved it. It was cosy, furnished and the bullseye-window was so cute!

The passengers would check in only the next morning, and for tonight there would be some sort of welcome party for all the ship-staff. Anna was looking forward to this event immensely. She desperately hoped to find some nice people to hang out with for the next two weeks and not being left on her own.

***

“Good evening, Dr. Bjorgman. Welcome aboard Arendelle lights. I hope you´re satisfied with your cabin and all?”

“Yes. Thank you. All fine.”

“That´s great. Have you met the captain yet?”

“Yes, I have. Thank you.”

“Wonderful. Well anyway. Enjoy your stay aboard and if you need anything or have any requests, don´t hesitate to contact me. Alright?”

“Yes. Thank you. As a matter of fact, that might well be the case since this is my first cruising tour you know.”

“Ah. Don´t worry. You´re not alone there. Our fitness instructress is new to this , too. You two might just as well stick together then?” Honeymaren smiled and winked sheepishly.

Dr. Bjorgman didn´t get it but was wondering how long he was supposed to endure this event, when the hostess put a hand onto his arm and waved with the other.

“Oh. There she is. Just hang on a second, I´ll introduce you. Hey Anna! Over here!”

Kristoff followed Honeymaren´s gestures and spotted an auburn-haired girl, who waved back into their direction excitingly. The humming girl! She hurried towards them, stopping abruptly upon seeing him. Her eyes widened and she pressed her lips together, pulling up her shoulders while stepping up to them.

“Hi there!” Anna lifted a shy hand to greet them both, constantly looking back and forth between Honeymaren and the man standing next to her.

“Hi Anna. May I introduce? This is Dr. Bjorgman. Dr. Bjorgman, this is Anna, our fitness instructress. You two might have business to talk?” With that, Honeymaren left them to themselves, she was needed somewhere else.

Silence.

“So, I hear this is your first cruising trip, too?” Kristoff asked awkwardly. Meeting the sportive lady again had not been on his mind to be honest.

“Yes, indeed. Goodness… Had I known.” Anna put a hand to her chest and shook her head, obviously embarrassed. “Seriously, I´m so sorry for bothering you on that flight and isn´t it funny, we sat right next to each other? But I was so nervous getting here. I mean excitingly nervous, not nervously nervous, you know?”

Her expression seemed truly apologetical, but friendly and enthusiastic.

No. He would know nothing about the feeling of being excitingly nervous.

“Yeah, sure. Don´t worry.”

They were standing, looking at the people mingling and grabbing drinks from the bar.

“Would you know what we are supposed to do now?” Anna asked uncertainly, gnawing on her lips.

She was nervous after all.He could tell.

“Frankly, I don´t know. For my part, I don´t like such functions. But I guess it´s part of the job.”

“Oh. I love meeting people. I´m just kind of unsure where to start.”

Why not getting her over to that bunch of people and then take a leave?

“We could grab a drink at the bar and join the party?” offered Kristoff with a sigh. Anna nodded feverishly and smiled at him, grateful for his suggestion.

So, when they got to the bar, the barkeeper greeted them with a friendly nod, offering them a “welcome drink”.

“Hellloooo!” A cheering voice sang into their ears from behind and Kristoff and Anna turned to look at a rather little fellow with light hair and big eyes. He grinned broadly and shook their hands enthusiastically.

“Hi! I´m Olaf and I love meeting you all!”

“Oh. How nice! And what are you doing here?” Anna beamed upon meeting someone so refreshing.

Olaf´s face lit up even more at Anna´s remark and he explained, “I´m responsible for the evening entertainment. And youare…?”

“Oh. I´m Anna. I´m the fitness instructress.”

“Aha. That´s lovely. And who is that funny looking grumpy head?” Olaf leaned towards Anna, conspiringly glancing in Kristoff´s direction.

“Oh. That´s… Dr. Bjorgman.” Anna shrugged, unsure of how to address the medical crew member respectfully. But Olaf wasn´t satisfied.

“Gosh, no. That´s too complicated. We are family here!” He waved a hand demandingly at Kristoff. The latter sensed his chances, repressed an amused chuckle, but smirked at the little one.

“It´s Kristoff.”

With that, he waved his goodbyes, wished them a nice evening, and left.

Maybe this wouldn´t be so bad after all. So far, they all seemed to be a friendly bunch of guys. And Anna was safely left in good hands with this Olaf.

This way, Kristoff felt less guilty… If you like to read on... find the complete fic on AO3

[volleychumps]

can u make fluffy scenario with iwaizumi, akaashi, kuroo, and oikawa where they’re playing volleyball with their s/o for the first time (and it’s their s/o’s 1st time playing) and then their s/o get scared of the ball (closes her eyes/run/etc) every time the ball comes near her. i love ur writing btwwww❤️ thank uuu!

My heart skipped a literal beat writing this request awwHH<33

Playing Volleyball w/ a Scared S/O (Iwaizumi, Akaashi, Kuroo, and Oikawa)

Iwaizumi

“Are you sure you’re sure about this?” 

“Of course!” 

Iwaizumi looks at you with slightly narrowed eyes before shrugging once, tightening the second knee pad around your left leg as you beam, excited gleam in your eyes. The gym at Aoba Joshai had been empty for the day since today was Seijoh’s rest day- and you had brightly suggested coming here to try out the sport your boyfriend was so passionate about. 

“Don’t blame me if you’re not good right away, babe.” 

“So I’m babe here and Y/N in front of your friends?” You arch a brow playfully as Iwa looks up from his bent-knee position in front of you to glare at you, making you giggle before running a hand through his hair in turn before pecking his forehead. 

“Kidding. Sorta.” 

“You’re lucky I love you.” 

He stands before walking to the opposite side of the net, stretching out his arm muscles as you frown, causing Iwa to send you a questioning look. 

“Where are your pads?” 

“On you.” 

Iwa rolls his eyes at the guilty expression that crosses your features, a smirk tickling the corner of his lips. 

“Don’t worry, babe- it’s not like you’ll actually make me hurt myself.” 

“I don’t know whether or not to be relieved or offended.” 

“Here goes- you ready?” Iwa ignores your side comment as you suddenly become determined. 

Iwaizumi holds back a snarky comment at your clumsy position before hitting a serve to your direction with half the force he usually uses- albeit skillful- and watches the ball flit through the air- 

only for a squeal to break his curious anticipation. 

It takes the ace barely a second to register what had happened as you cover your face protectively, a high-pitched squeal slipping your lips as Iwa stills, watching you sidestep just in time to barely avoid the ball sent in your direction. 

“I-Is it over?” Your hands still cover your face as Iwaizumi’s amused voice rings throughout the gym. 

“For awhile now.” 

Iwa feels a twitch to his lip as you sigh in relief, retracting your arms as you pout adorably at his amused expression. 

“It’s not easy! Gimme another one.” 

“We don’t have to-” 

“Yes I do!” You raise your voice, taking the dark-haired boy off guard as Iwa takes on a confused expression at your intensity. “I...I want to know how to do the thing the guy I love loves most...” 

The gym takes on a steady silence as Iwa feels heat spread across his cheeks at your honest words, before he clears his throat as you look away in embarrassment at your outburst. 

“Alright, fine. I’ll give you another one.” 

You nod once, seeing Iwa get back into position to serve the ball, but as soon as you hear him hit it, you find yourself shutting your eyes tight once again on instinct. 

Just as dread and fear fill your system, you hear the ball land- 

somewhere obviously far from where you were standing. 

Instead, you feel a pair of large hands cup your face gently, tilting your head upwards before a warm pair of lips press against yours a tad roughly yet still brimmed with emotion. You open your eyes, not surprised to see Iwa had crossed the gym while the ball was in motion to get to you, seeing the served ball bouncing off out of bounds. 

When he finally pulls back, you’re breathless, and his hands don’t move from their position cupping your face as Iwa’s dark eyes seem to burn into yours. 

“Look.” Your eyes widen at the gentleness of his tone. “You don’t have to, alright? It’s not worth you hurting your pretty little face or bothering your equally pretty mind over some dumbass ball.” 

When you look down, his hands tilt your head upwards again. 

“Alright?” 

“...Alright.” 

“And you were wrong by the way.” 

“Hm?” 

You close one eye as Iwa kisses it, a smirk gracing his handsome features that had your heart beat picking up. 

“Volleyball isn’t what I love most. It’s you, dumbass.” 

Akaashi

“Y/N, setting isn’t as fun as spiking.” 

“Would you rather Bokuto-san show me then?” 

You smile evenly as your boyfriend sends you a tired look at your suggestion, helping you pull your hair into a messy-looking bun to keep it out of your face, pausing to do so. 

He resumes with a slight click to his tongue. “Don’t even joke like that.” 

You hum as he finishes up, wrapping the bun of hair with an elastic band as you peck him afterwards, thanking him sweetly as Akaashi clears his throat before taking position behind you, adjusting your arms. 

“Alright-”

“I like this position.” You say randomly, spinning the ball in your hands as Akaashi pauses at your teasing tone, sighing as you burst out into laughter. 

“Did you just make a sex joke?” 

“If making a sex joke would make you mad- then no. I didn’t.” 

Akaashi rolls his eyes, but a small quirk to his lips remains as he continues his instruction. 

“When you toss the ball up, don’t let it hit your palms, try to only let it touch your fingertips for maximum control. Well, maximum control for a beginner-” 

“Stooop calling me that.” 

“Then don’t be a beginner.” 

“I hate you.” 

“Mhm. Just toss the ball, princess.” 

Akaashi hides his small smirk from behind you as your ears pinken, indicating you were blushing as you scoff, steadying the ball at your fingertips. After adjustment, Akaashi’s hands move to wrap around your waist. 

“Fine!” 

The setter watches with a mild expression as you toss the ball up, hands in an awkward yet semi-correct position as he wonders if you’ll actually able to give a decent toss on your first try- 

he feels your body flinch before he can realize that the ball had landed flat on your face, moving quickly to examine your features after the impact as the ball bounces away. 

“Are you alright?” 

Akaashi tries to pry your hands from your face so he could take a look, but pauses when he hears you sniff through your conjoined fingers. 

“Does it hurt? What hurts?” 

“I c-closed my eyes.” 

Akaashi stills before turning around, thankful your eyes were closed as he tries to muffle the snicker that was coming involuntarily, hearing you whine from behind him, indicating you had heard him. 

“Keiji!” 

“I’m not laughing.”

“I never said you were, meaning you are!” 

When the setter finally regains his composure, he gently pulls at your wrists to get them away from your face to reveal your pouty lips and slightly teary eyes, accompanied by a reddned nose as your teary eyes glare at your boyfriend. 

“You really think this is funny, huh?” 

“Hilarious.” Akaashi replies evenly, examining your nose before kissing your tears away, showing you a rare, amused smile on his goregous features as you pout, turning away from him. 

“I just wanted to experience the sport you love so much...” 

Akaashi frowns, feeling a tad guilty before pulling you in by the waist gently, his lips finding the top of your head. 

“I’m sorry for laughing. You’re just too cute I don’t know what to do with you sometimes.” 

“It’s okay. You hardly laugh anyway so it’s good to change things up.” 

Akaashi clicks his tongue at the cheeky grin that spreads across your features, and his grip on your waist tightens the slightest as your hands rest on his chest. 

“Oh. Look who’s not laughing now.” You feign shock as the setter rolls his eyes, his forehead touching yours. 

“Y/N.” 

“Hm?” 

“Close your eyes for me this time, will you? But do it on purpose.” 

You scoff, yet do so as the setter feels you smile into the kiss as Akaashi Keiji finds himself falling for you just a little more deeper than usual. 

Kuroo

“No. Of course I don’t want to try, you’re scary when you play.” 

“Okay- but scary good, or scary bad?” 

“Is scary good even a thing?”

You watch Kuroo smirk in the midst of tightening your shoelaces, frowning down at him when his feral eyes look up to meet your nervous stare. The captain stands, brushing some hair out of your face before pinching your cheek. 

“Listen, kitten- I’m not going to let you get hurt, alright? It’s just blocking.” 

You nod once, causing the captain to smirk a little before kissing where he had pinched, satisfied with the flush of pink to your cheeks. 

“Good girl. I’m going to the opposite side, alright?” The captain smirks at you before doing so, and you shuffle nervously from side to side as Kuroo jogs away from you, standing in a spiking position. 

“Okay- so when I spike, keep your arms up high and angle your fingers downward- even if you’re short you should be able to.” The captain smirks, knowing that last part would get you riled up as you puff your cheeks out. 

“Just because everyone is shorter than you doesn’t make me especially short!” 

“Understood, short-stack. You’re cute when you’re mad, so try and use that-hm?” 

You flick him off with a sweet smile, causing Kuroo to put a hand over his heart. 

“Aw, I love you too Y/N!” 

“Just spike the ball, Tetsurou!” 

Kuroo grins at the use of his first name- before doing so a tad gentler than usual, spiking with a lower jump to his legs as he aims downwards towards your hand- 

The grin on the captain’s face widens at the result. 

You yelp, running away from the ball as it comes as if it were on fire, causing Kuroo to burst out laughing like the asshole he is. 

“Tetsurou what happened to not letting me get hurt?”

“Kitten- that was only like 40% of my strength-” Kuroo manages out between laughs as you cross your arms stubbornly, causing Kuroo to laugh even harder at your actually annoyed expression. 

“That’s like 30% too much!” 

“Right.” Kuroo grins, wiping a tear from his eye as he crosses over to you in four easy steps. “I’m sorry I’m as scary as you expected, kitten-” 

Your eyes widen when Kuroo pulls you into a tight hug, nuzzling his nose into your shoulder as you find yourself pressed up against his chest, feeling your heartbeat increase wildly at the unexpected proximity. 

“You’re way too adorable to practice with- so I’ll save my scariness for another day.”  

“Oh bite me.” You huff. 

“Gladly.” The captain grins, taking the opportunity to tilt your chin upwards to close the distance. 

Oikawa

“Tooru, is this really okay?” 

“I said it was Y/N-chan, I’m the captain!” 

The brunette grins reassuringly at you as he tugs you into the gym, the lights automatically turning on as you hear him begin to unzip his jacket as you walk in. 

“I bet all the girls love it when you bring them to your empty practice gym.” You comment sarcastically as Oikawa scoffs once, kind expression on his face as he unzips your own jacket for you as he helps you shrug it off, nuzzling his nose with yours cutely. 

“As if. All the others would never agree to this.” 

Your blank stare makes Oikawa retract his statement quickly, sweat dropping at the fact that his bad joke might have just landed him in hot water. 

“Joking! It was a total joke Y/N-chan!” 

“One of these days I will tell Hajime on you.” 

“You wouldn’t dare.” 

“Try me.” 

Oikawa feigns a betrayed expression, causing you to laugh a little before the setter lifts your knuckle to his lips sweetly before jogging to grab a volleyball, returning to begin instructing your date together. 

“Okay, so do we remember our terminology?” 

“Tooru-” 

“Right right, my genius girlfriend is so smart we don’t need to review it.” Oikawa waves it off, before entering a setting position. “I’m gonna set for you, and you’re gonna hit it as hard as you can, alright?” 

“Until it breaks?” You offer, watching your boyfriend look surprised for a second before smirking slightly. 

“Ignoring how incredibly sexy that was-” Oikawa clears his throat after your quoting of him. “Let’s give it a try, no? I’ll go easy on you.” 

“Oh please do.” You reply sassily as Oikawa shakes his head with a grin, loving every moment of this date before setting the ball- 

deciding that maybe every moment of this date wasn’t worth loving. 

Oikawa watches, shocked, as you suddenly squeal out of fear and dig your face into his chest as the ball comes down on your shaky hands- 

scratch that thing about not loving every moment. 

You flinch into his chest at the sound of the ball hitting the gym floor as a smirk slowly crosses the setter’s face, his hands stroking your hair soothingly as you blink, realizing what you had just done on instinct. 

“We don’t talk about this.” You look up pointedly as Oikawa grins, taking the opportunity to place a chaste kiss on your forehead as his long arms wrap around your figure in a secured manner. 

“I really do love you, you know that?” 

“More than all the others?” You find yourself smiling. 

“Stop talking like there are others.” Oikawa frowns, a hand cupping your cheek. “There’s only you, and it’s only you I want.” 

“Good.” You say, brushing your noses together. “Because then we’d have a problem.” 

“Are you not going to say you want me to?” 

“Nah.” 

“Oh Y/N.” Oikawa rolls his eyes, chocolate orbs gleaming. “You’ll drive me mad one day, but I don’t care.” 

You smile as the setter finally kisses you, the ball bouncing again and again against the gym floor until it finally reaches its’ stop. 

[readiajin]

To Love Herself

Helloooo acotar fandom. Or just Nessian fandom. 

I have gone back and forth loving and hating acosf, but finally pinpointed the breaking point for me. I hated how the story played out after Nesta told Feyre about the baby. There was so much potential with how that whole situation could be handled. Instead Nesta was blamed for everything, with no one else ever taking responsibility. 

Because of that I have decided to try my hand at writing a fanfic starting from that point in acosf. Below is what I would call the prologue and the beginning of the first chapter. 

I have never posted anything I have written before, so please be kind. I would love feedback on it and if people are curious I will continue it. 

Prologue

Nesta didn’t care. Couldn’t think around the roaring. “Have any of them told you, their respected high lady, that the baby in your womb will kill you?”

It broke something in Nesta—broke that rage, that roaring—- seeing those tears begin to fall, the fear crumpling Feyre’s painted-smeared face.

She had gone too far. She… Oh gods.

Amren said, “I think it is best, girl, if you speak to Rhysand about this.”

Nesta couldn’t bear it—the pain and fear and love on Feyre’s face as she caressed her stomach.

Amren growled at Nesta, “I hope you’re content now.”

Nesta didn’t respond. Didn’t know what to say or do with herself. She simply turned on her heel and ran from the apartment.

Nesta ran into the streets, escaping down side alleys, not caring where she went, as long as it was away. Away from Feyre and her pain, the pain Nesta had just so cruelly added to. Away from Amran, the first friend Nesta had once thought she was. Away from the rest of her sister’s new family.

Nesta had thought she was getting better. She had been trying, with Gwyn and Emerie. With Cassian. She had searched for the Dread Trove, to protect Elain. She had initially followed Rhysand’s order not to tell Feyre about the risk of the baby...

But standing in that apartment, Nesta had realized none of it mattered. Not while Feyre cried and Amran looked at her with such hatred and disgust. For all her efforts, Feyre and her Inner Circle would never like Nesta.

As she ran Nesta couldn’t entirely blame them. She didn’t like who she was either. Didn’t like the things she said, or what she did, or how she felt. She didn’t like her powers either, not when they were a manifestation of all the worst things about her. They were all better off without her.

The realization slammed into Nesta. It was not the first time she had thought it. She had lived in her rundown apartment for exactly that reason, to put space between her and her sister’s family. But they had always dragged her back in with parties and dinners, insisting Nesta be there. They only ever resulted in her once again feeling out of place and giving them all more reasons to loathe her. Until finally they had forced her to the House Of Wind

Nesta came to a halt in an ally that opened up to the Sidra and the setting sun. Her red hot anger from earlier was gone, replaced with that numb feeling that she had lived with for so long, the feeling she had been beginning to forget. How quickly it returned.

Feyre’s crumpled face flashed in her mind. Nesta knew they would be coming for her. Feyre deserved to know the truth about her baby, her body. Everyone had the right to the truth. But Rhysand, Amren, and the rest of them didn’t care about that. They only cared how Nesta made Feyre feel, so they would blame her. Including Cassian.

Cassian who she trusted, who she had let in despite knowing better. No one had ever tried as much as he had with her, but in the end he would always choose Feyre and the Inner Circle. He had continued to talk to them about her and keep things from her because of them.

No matter what he was to her, he was also better off without her. She was a burden he had been handling, but today proved it was all pointless. Nothing and nobody could fix her.

Her powers curled in her gut as she stared at the sparking water. She wanted to disappear.

So do it A voice whispered.

Silver flames sparked at the tips of Nesta’s fingers.

Disappear

Nesta hugged her hands to her chest, letting the cold flames sparkle across her body. Amren has been right. Nesta hadn’t had any interest in her powers. But now they were all she had left. They were the only thing that had made her worth anything to the others. But maybe now they were her answer. Nesta closed her eyes and let her leash slip, let the magic decide. Disappear.

“NESTA!” a distant voice shouted.

A voice Nesta knew in her soul.

As the world twisted in flicking silver, Nesta turned and glanced at the sky. Hazel eyes locked onto hers, and Nesta felt his anger and alarm. His horror. All about her. But not anymore. Nesta felt a single tear escape down her cheek as she allowed her magic to consume her, and let go.

•••••

Chapter 1 (1st part)

Do you plan on coming home soon Feyre darling?

Feyre sent a huff of a laugh back at Rhys. Why? Does somebody miss me?

Two somebodies actually. Rhys replied, Nyx wants to show you how he has improved his flying with Uncle Azriel today.

Feyre smiled at the image of her son jumping off couches to fly around the room played in her mind. She currently sat in her studio, working on a painting of Nyx flying with his father. She planned on saving it for his eighth birthday present in a couple months.

Feyre glanced out the window, where the streets were only illuminated by streetlight on the moonless night. She hasn’t realized how late it had become.

I’ll be home soon, I just have to clean up.

Don’t keep me waiting too long, Rhys rumbled back. A shiver went down Feyre’s spin as she cut off the connection with her mate to concentrate on cleaning.

She walked around the room, turning off most of the lights before going to the back to wash her brushes and pallet. As she stood at the sink, she suddenly felt a cold breeze at the back of her neck.

Feyre froze. She raised her head to look at the paint splattered mirror above the sinks. Through the smudged glass she could see a dark cloaked figure standing behind her.

Slowly, Feyre turned. “Who are you?” She demanded. “It’s not wise to sneak up on a High Lady.”

The figure stood perfectly still. As they stared at each other the temperature in the room seemed to drop. Finally the figure tilted their head to the side slightly. “Well? What do you want?”

An indignant huff came from beneath the cloak before reaching up to pull back their hood.

Feyre’s mind went blank as she took in her sister, whom she hadn’t seen or heard from in over 8 years.

“Hello Feyre.” Was all Nesta said.

Feyre stared at her older sister. Not a day had gone by since that terrible day in Amren’s apartment that Feyre hadn’t thought of Nesta. Not a day she hadn’t wondered, worried. They had searched for her. Had even reached out to the other courts when they became desperate for answers. But there had been no trace of her since Cassian had seen her consumed by silver flames.

Now standing before her, the first thing Feyre noticed was how healthy she looked. Nesta had slowly begun to look better after living in the House and training with Cassian for a few weeks. She had been gaining a little weight and some color back then.

But stepping in to the light cast from lanterns on the back counter, Nesta seemed to glow with health. Her hair was braided in its classic crown, but her face was full and tanned from being in the sun. Her eyes still held the same stormy intensity they always had, but the haunted look she had had was now replaced with a silver gleam.

Although most of her body was covered in a dark cloak, Feyre could see she was wearing fighting leathers— not Illyarian leathers. And peaking out over her right shoulder, was the pommel of a great sword. The Great Sword, the one she had accidentally Made. The sword that, along with the two other Made weapons, had been stolen from where they had been locked in the river house. The same night several priestess disappeared from the Library.

•••••

[that-little-zebunny]

Skin to Skin (First Date)

Pairing: Loki x Avenger!Reader

Warning: Angst, little Gorey-ish details, Fluff

WC: 2,151

Summary: You're new to the team and end up messing it up with the God of mischief on your first day in. Knowing his reputation you're up for a fun time in the compound.

Note: First of all thank you so much guys for the warm acceptance you gave on our 1st part T....T y'all made my heart so so happy. I hope you'll enjoy this part and I'd love to know how you think. Its a bit long so yay enjoy.

2nd day of our wonderful HBC's Week of Love for the lovely @the-th-horniest-book-club 🥰

You know what's the fun part of fighting the bad? It's that it doesn't choose a great time. It pops up as randomly as it can. So here you are on your second day trying to go around and meet people, when you got a message to suit up.

Small details are that you and your team are going to keep an eye on one of hydras abandoned bases because Friday had detected some activity there.

What you didn't know is the team you speak of is just you, the Falcon, Natasha and Loki. Yup, how fun will it be? You and the person that doesn't like you in one deadly work. You won't be surprised if somehow between the fighting you'll be stabbed by him. You shook your head to remove the thoughts running in it. You really should stop watching suspense shows. You sighed.

After almost three hours in the air you all finally made it in the location. You scratched your head when you saw that the area is surrounded by a lot of trees.

"Looks like we're up for a fun hide and seek game if there's really people here now." Nat said as she fixed all the weapons secured on her belt. Sam agreed. He activated three of his cute little drones to help out with securing the area for treats.

"We should go. All these small talks will not vanish our enemies." Loki said walking past the three of you. You pouted.

"I think that's mostly because of me. Sorry guys." You said as you finished fixing your knives on your belt and grabbing your metal staff. It's your main weapon because it keeps you from getting near anyone when it's not needed.

"No worries cookies, he's like that to everyone. He didn't really have a choice in being here. He's banished here to help." Sam said using the silly nickname they all choose to give you after you delivered tons of cookies to them.

You look at Loki's retreating back sadly.

You're able to get inside the rusty building without encountering anyone.

"This is a bit creepy. How did Friday detect anything here? There's no one in about 10 kilometers." Sam said as he checked the tech in his arm.

"Maybe it's a ghost?" You joked which earned you a strange look from them. "What? I watch movies." You rolled your eyes at them and continued going to another part of the building to check. It looks like you're in a laboratory slash surgery room. That gave you chills. You tried to not imagine how many bodies were cut and gutted in here.

"You have a very unique mind." Someone said which made you squeak. You turned around swinging your staff towards the voice but was halted by a sting hand. Loki held the end of your staff smirking at you.

"Crap…" you whispered. You didn't do anything again didn't you? "I-I'm sorry." You bit your lips as you relaxed, removing your staff from his hold.

"For someone that works with emotions you do suck at it." He said, smirking at you.

You scratched your nape as you stared up at his face, his very very beautiful face. Ugh!

"I know. Its been a challenge controlling my own. I was so used at controlling others." You said remembering your childhood. How you tried to mold your always bickering parents to play nice when you're around and to act as if they loved you. You know they hated it and they hated you but what can you say you were ten and scared. But they didn't care. All they know is you're an anomaly and that they rather not be around you. That's why as soon as your grandma offered they toosed you away like a hot potato.

You shook your head as your most dreaded memory came up. You frowned and turned to look at Loki again.

"Was that you!?" You asked. You're gritting your teeth as you feel the rage consume you. He just stared down at you smirking wickedly. You boinked away the tears that threatened to fall from your eyes. "We're even now." You said gripping your staff.

"Yes we are." He proudly said as he went around checking if he could find anything useful and you did the same.

It really was a lab and they've experimented on people trying to make a brain dead person have functions again. That made your stomach turn especially when you saw the reports of how the patients reacted to that. Some were like dummies and some became vicious. And so many more that you end up closing the files you're reading and you just grabbed them.all to bring them back with you.

"Find anything else?" You asked Loki but he didn't answer so you went to look what he's doing in the room he went in. You found him staring at a cradle.

"There's a body here." He said. That alerted you. Especially when you saw him touch the cradle to open it using his power.

"Nooo Loki don't!" You shouted as the cover of it opened up releasing some kind of gas. Knowing the few things you've read if your guess is correct this is gonna be bad.

You ran to him to grab his arm to pull him away but he didnt move so when you saw the sharp claw like hands coming out the gas you didn't think much and just went in between Loki and the thing.

You gasped in pain as you felt the slicing on your back.

"Good norns! Y/N! You dumb, dumb mortal!" He shouted as he caught you in his arms when your legs gave out. He looked behind you and flicked his hands green mist went to take away the life from the girl from the cradle. You heard its body make noise as it fell down.

Still in Loki's embrace you tried to breathe deep but it ended up just you gasping painfully. The cuts must have been deeper than you thought.

"L-Loki…" you pleaded with him as you felt your breathing start getting shallow and you feel like you're drowning. You must have blood on your lungs by now. You tried to swallow the sobs that tried to get out of your lips and you just stared up at his face. He really have a nice face. It's unfair.

You must have lost your mind because when he caught you staring you smiled up at him which in return got you another frown.

"Stop admiring me. I know I look better than the normal midgard male population. You really must be dumb, why did you jump infront of me. I'm a God I won't be hurt by a mere scratch." He said as he helped you to lay down on the floor as he called out to Nat and Sam on his coms. He turned you on your side to check your injury and you heard him take in a breath.

"Is it bad?" You asked thinking of the worse based on his face.

"Don't get your brain all rilled up, Cookies. It'll be alright." You giggled when you heard him call you on your new nickname.

"S-so I'm cookies to y-you now too." You coughed but still smiling.

"Oh you need to shuush." He said but you can hear the smile in his tone. So your stupidity got you on his goodside.

"How can I s-shuush. This might be my last time to talk. What i-if some parasite is now in me and I'll start walking and biting people." You caughed again as you felt something soothing on your back.

"You need to change what you watch Y/N. That's not healthy anymore." He said, shaking his head. Your back is starting to feel nice now and your head is like it's floating. You giggled again as you touched his face. Even in your groggy brain you felt his emotions. Scared, amused and adoration. Is that all for you? You smiled at him again as your eyes were about to close.

"You should date me Loki." You said. His eyes went wide as he steadied you to pick you up.

"That's the soothing magic talking." He said as he started to walk.

You're about to walk past the table where you put down the files you found when you remember how important they are.

"Wait! Wait! Lemme grab those." You pointed to the tall stocks of folders.

He walked near it and you grabbed them and hugged them on your chest like your life depends on it.

You feel proud of yourself getting them or being carried by Loki. You're not sure which anymore and before he even finds your team you fell asleep.

You woke up in what you guessed as the med bay. You tried to get up and looked around to find no one. You brushed your hair with your hand as you tried to stand but got dizzy. You tried to grip the bed frame for support but you're too slow so you just let yourself fall. You're about to kiss the floor when two strong hands caught you and relief and annoyance flooded your brain.

"You must enjoy being in my arms." He teased as he helped you back on the bed.

"You got nice arms." You joked as you went back on your bed. You took a deep breath and seriously asked him "how did the rest of the mission go?"

"Well, the Widow was able to find some scavengers that tried to loot the structure they came back there before we left and they must have been the ones who triggered Friday's system. The monstrous thing that attacked you is dead officially and we didn't find another of it but we did find a mass grave behind the building." He explained as he sat down on the side of your bed.

You thanked him and relaxed knowing there's no more of that thing around.

"Do you like steak or do you prefer the simple ones?" Loki suddenly asked. You looked at him confused.

"What for?" You asked.

"You have offered me to date you. Have you forgotten?" He said, smirking at you. You felt your cheeks heat up. Crap you did. Mid thinking about tobe a zombie parasite walker time. You looked at him waiting for him to say he's joking but nothing . He just raised one gorgeous eyebrow as he waited.

"You're serious?" You covered your face with one hand as you tried to let what he's saying sink in.

"Very serious, you've felt my darkest emotions I've seen your darkest memories don't you think we're past the getting to know part Sam keep on babbling about?" He said as he slowly touched your elbow with a finger and you felt his sincerity and adoration. Your brain feels like it's about to explode. This majestic person really wants to go out with you. Omg!!!

You slowly nodded and he smiled.

"So stake or not?" He asked again.

"I like steak." You answered back. He smiled and left. Leaving you with so many emotions that you never felt before as your own. Joy, giddiness and something you can't name.

A week after you're out of being stuck on a medical bed you and Loki went to that date. You still can't believe it's happening. He even did all the preparations and stuff. He brought you to a gorgeous restaurant with beautiful music and the tastiest stake you ever had. It was so much fun. He's very funny in his own way. You're both enjoying a walk before going back to the compound when you felt Loki grab your gloved hand. You look up at him.

"What's wrong?" You asked. He just smiled and kissed your hand.

"I'm just very glad I gave myself a chance to know you more and not let what happened to us on our first meeting get to me. You're a very fascinating and beautiful lady Y/N. Thank you for being with me today." He said. You smiled warmly at him as you took off your gloves. You stashed them in the pocket of your coat and brought your hands up to his face but didn't completely touch him.

"May I?" You asked and you saw his face softened. You told him that you will never touch him without his permission.

"Yes…" he answered as he held both your hands and brought them close to his face. He closed his eyes and sighed at the feel of your skin. Feeling that strange feelings again that you can't name you're not sure if it's yours or Loki's emotion. You stepped closer to him and tiptoed to reach his waiting lips. You can't wait to understand that strange feeling but for now you're gonna enjoy how good it feels.

Tag list

Skin to skin: @delightfulheartdream @victias @kaogasm @marvelgirl7 @alexakeyloveloki @newdaynewyearnewlife @multifandomlife22

Tom Hiddleston and Characters: @jewels2876 @jobean12-blog @CurlyRed2020

The ones with stikes, I cant tag you guys i dunno why T.T

[journalxxx]

By Hook or by Crook (2)

May 1st, 2270

“Hello, Izuku.” “Hi, dad.” Izuku hadn’t exactly been dreading this conversation, but he hadn’t been looking forward to it either. He’d hoped his mom would do all the talking, having to break the news to his friends had been hard enough. For him. Most of them seemed to have gotten quite the kick out of it. “How are you? Your mother told me you’ve been having a rough couple of weeks.” “Mh.” “Still upset over that visit?” “Mh.” “Speak, son. Sulking doesn’t translate well over the phone.” His father chided gently.

Izuku sighed. “The doctor said I’m never going to get a quirk. I’m sorry.” “Whatever for? It’s not like you have any choice in the matter. Quirks are innate, surely you know that.” “Yes, I do.” Izuku said, staring at the paused frame of All Might’s debut video on the computer screen. The reflection of his own miserable face was superimposed with the triumphant silhouette of the hero. “But I’m sorry anyway. You have such a cool quirk… and mom’s useful too. I could become a great hero with one of them, but I’m never going to get any.” “Again, that’s none of your fault. And I wouldn’t be so sure of that anyway.” “Uh?” Izuku gulped, gripping the phone tightly. “Y-you don’t think I’d make a good hero?” “No, that’s not what I mean.” His father chuckled. “I mean that I wouldn’t lose hope just yet. You’re very young, there’s still plenty of time for your quirk to manifest.” “But the doctor said that all quirks appear before one is four years old. And I’m four. And I have the extra toe joint-” “Tsk! Some doctor they assigned you. As if one could unerringly guess the nature and development of something as unpredictable as a quirk with a single test. An x-ray, of all things. Ancient technology.” “The doctor said there was a study...” “I have an extra toe joint too, you know.” Izuku’s father laughed hearing his son’s surprised gasp. “Studies like the one your doctor mentioned draw conclusions based on the analysis of hundreds, thousands of cases. Those conclusions may hold true for the majority of them, but there are always outliers. Having that oh-so-precious joint and a quirk is indeed rare, but not unheard of.” “B-But…” Izuku’s eyes burned with the feeling of impending tears. He hadn’t expected his father’s reaction to be like this. No one had even remotely doubted the validity of the doctor’s opinion. No one. It almost hurt to hope. “I’m also too old…” “My own quirk didn’t show until I was… fifteen? Maybe sixteen. Way older than you are, anyway. Another important point to consider, don’t you think?” Izuku sniffled. Then cried, quietly. His father remained silent as the boy let the tears flow freely, wiping them on his arm now and then. There was a tangled ball of emotions deep in his chest, that he couldn’t quite unravel. After a couple of minutes though, the sobs abated and he felt better. Better than he had been feeling before his mom handed him the phone. “...Do you really think the doctor was wrong?” “You shouldn’t believe everything doctors tell you. My personal physician keeps calling me ‘the peak of biological and anthropological evolution’, but that’s because he’s been fishing for a raise for years. Clearly you’d expect a Darwinian champion to be able to walk under the sun without protection for more than five minutes without turning into a peeling tomato.” “Uh? Does that really happen to you?” “Didn’t your mother ever tell you that I’m albino? My skin is very sensitive to sunlight, and it burns easily. I have atrocious eyesight too.” “I didn’t know that.” Izuku winced in sympathy. “I’m sorry. That sounds terrible.” “Not nearly as much as you think. I have plenty of skills and tools at my disposal to compensate. It isn’t an inconvenience at all these days, although it did cause me some grief when I was a child.” His father’s tone got softer. “Sometimes it does feel like our bodies are our own worst enemies, doesn’t it?” Izuku hummed in assent, very much agreeing with the sentiment. “I’m happy it doesn’t hurt you any more.” “And I’m glad you didn’t inherit this nuisance from me.” A sudden thought made its unwelcome way in Izuku’s head. “If… If I didn’t inherit your skin and eyes… maybe I won’t inherit your quirk either…” “Izuku.” His father’s tone was kind but firm. There were times when his presence, even just through his voice, felt way more real and solid than that of many people Izuku habitually shared a room with. “Your ability will emerge one day, I’m positive of that. Just give it time and don’t agonize over it.” Izuku nodded, even though he realized that wouldn’t translate well over the phone either. “...Okay.” “Now, what else have you been up to in this past month, other than brooding over a criminally incompetent diagnosis?” Not much, honestly, but Izuku told him anyway. As he kept chatting, his heart grew lighter than it had been in weeks. Mom did always say that his father was a good listener.

July 1st, 2272 “They were talking about it on TV yesterday. It’s an old incident from some years ago, before All Might met Nighteye!” “I see...” “Not many people know about it, because there’s no villain involved, and villains make all the stories more interesting! But it’s a great story nonetheless!” Izuku rattled on enthusiastically, taking advantage of his father’s unresponsive compliance. “Uh-huh...” “So this boy was having some big troubles, I think, and he jumped into a river because he didn’t know what to do about them. But luckily All Might was around! Do you know what he did?” “He offered to cover all the expenses for the years of therapy the boy would need afterwards?” “Uh… They didn’t say that on TV. I don’t know. I think he just rescued him from the river.” “That doesn’t seem to address the underlying problem.” His father commented icily. “Daaad, you’re ruining the story.” Izuku chided him. “Anyway, the funny part is that this boy had a quirk that could turn water into vinegar, and he activated it in a panic while he was drowning.” “Mh. A peculiar quirk...” “So All Might got all drenched in vinegar when he dove in to save him. He made this very silly face in front of the cameras, it was great! And when the boy apologized for causing trouble, guess what All Might told him?” “I’m sorry I’m the living embodiment of this unfair, hypocritical society that has driven you to the brink of despair?” “No. He said,” Izuku continued, breezing past his father’s petty remarks with practiced ease, “It is I who should thank you. My skin’s looking ten years younger now.” “Oh my God…” The man groaned, and a loud thunk-crash noise accompanied his words. “Oh, come on!” Izuku giggled, covering his mouth with his free hand. “It’s so funny!” “Just because they’re called ‘dad jokes’ doesn’t mean I’m legally obligated to laugh at them.” “But it is funny! All Might’s the funniest! Did you know that he just wrote a joke book? It’s called All Might’s Gags and Jokes: A Compendium. It already has amazing reviews! They say it’s warm and relatable and cy.. cyclical…” “He wrote a joke book. A veritable Renaissance man, this one...” His father muttered. Izuku heard something clink in the background. Probably the pieces of whatever his father dropped. “Mom says she’ll buy it for my birthday!” Izuku added, swinging his whole body on his chair in sheer excitement. “That is such a poor use of your remittance. I’ll need to have a couple of words with her…” “It’s for my education!” Izuku enunciated with solemnity, straightening his posture. “There’s a whole chapter of American puns and word plays! It will help me learn English!” “If you want to learn English on your own so soon, please choose a decent source. Start with basic grammar and alphabet books, watch some subtitled shows and movies to get the hang of the correct pronunciation-” “I’m learning a lot from All Might already! The catchphrase he used when he was in college in California was I am here! When he’s surprised, he says Oh my goodness! When he doesn’t believe something, he says Nonsense!” Izuku parroted, taking great care of imitating All Might’s confident, surprised and disbelieving expressions respectively. They would be lost on his father, but he needed to practice them anyway. “If that’s a good American accent, I’m the next Symbol of Peace.” “Dad.” Izuku said, suddenly very serious. He had a very important question to ask, and it had been a long time coming. “Why do you always make fun of him? It’s like… It’s almost like you don’t like him at all.” The words sounded so wrong he almost wasn’t brave enough to say them. Izuku would have been mortified if anyone had moved such an accusation on him. “I suppose he has a sort of… charisma about him.” His father admitted ruefully. “I can’t say it strikes any chords with me though.” “Are you just jealous of him?” Izuku asked shrewdly. “Kacchan also talks a lot of trash about All Might, but it’s obvious he’s just jealous. It’s all right if you are, though, I mean, he’s so-” “I’m this close to hanging up, Izuku.” “But- but how can you not like All Might?! Everyone likes All Might! Boys and girls, children and grown-ups! From age 0 to 100!” “...I guess I just don’t fit the target demographic then.” Izuku huffed. “You’re so boring, dad.” “Says the one who’s been talking my ear off about the same topic for the last forty minutes.” The boy frowned, nibbling at his lip. “...Sorry. Am I annoying you?” “I’ll admit I may have hit my monthly tolerance limit of All Might trivia. Don’t worry about it though.” Izuku did in fact stop worrying, his father’s amusement clearly detectable in his voice. “I think I’ll be able to bear with your unabashed enthusiasm until you hit your mandatory disillusioned teenage phase. Then we’ll see if that obnoxiously cheery act of his will still resonate with you.”

June 2nd, 2274 “His normal body temperature is about two degrees higher than the average. Around 38-39 °C.” “And what can you deduce from that?” Izuku’s father goaded. The boy stared at the scribbles in his notebook in deep thought. “Uhm… that it’s difficult to tell if he has a fever or not?” His father laughed, but not unkindly. “I wouldn’t think so. You just said yourself that that is his normal temperature. Therefore, I wouldn’t call Endeavor’s doctor unless his thermometer read more than 39.5 °C, probably.” “Right.” Izuku nodded. That was obvious, wasn’t it? Why hadn’t he understood that on his own? His father didn’t seem to mind his blunder though. “Try again.” “I think…” Izuku’s eyes were just about to bore a hole into his rough sketch of the hero’s costume. He gave up after the silence started to make him uncomfortable though. “...I don’t know. What can I deduce from that?” “Hm… You did bring up an interesting point. Do you know how fever works, Izuku?” “Yeah. Your body temperature rises when you’re sick. If it rises too much, you can get in serious trouble, you could even die. It never really gets that bad though.” “But why does it rise? What does your body accomplish by doing that?” “Uh…” Izuku frowned. He was sure he’d read or heard something about that, but the details escaped him at the moment. “To help you fight off the sickness, right? You feel worse at first, but it actually helps you get better.” “Exactly. Most bacteria and viruses that infect men thrive and multiply optimally at around 37 °C, which is the average person’s normal body temperature. But the growth of these microorganisms is hindered when the environment gets too hot. That is the principle that makes fever useful for humans. As your body gets hotter, it debilitates the invasors, so that your immune system can remove them more easily.” “..Oh.” It was a pity that his father called him only once a month, Izuku could have easily listened to him for hours every day. He always had so many interesting things to say about so many different subjects, and he always exposed them so neatly. “So. Can you deduce anything new now?” “Uh, uhm… He… I guess he...” Izuku snapped out of his reverie. Right, this was a conversation, not a lesson. He went over the new information in his head as quickly as he could. Higher temperature than normal... Fever... Microorganisms... Immune syst- Oh! “He heals quicker than- no, wait! He doesn’t get sick at all! Because he’s always too hot for the microorganisms! They can’t grow in his body!” “Excellent reasoning!” His father’s warm praise made Izuku’s chest swell with pride. “Obviously he isn’t completely immune to any and all infections, there are lots of exceptions to the mechanism I just explained to you. But yes, I do believe it’s safe to assume that our esteemed Flame Hero suffers from the occasional seasonal maladies far less often than the general population, if at all.” “That’s so cool…” Izuku immediately added the new data to his notes, almost breaking the tip of the pencil in his enthusiasm. “Is that what you wanted me to deduce? Or did you explain that just because I brought up the fever thing?” “I was actually thinking of something else. But, on second thought, it may be too technical a topic for an eight-year-old.” “...Can you tell me about it anyway?” “Of course.” Izuku would never not be grateful for the patience his father had, never denying him any clarification on anything. He was just about the only adult who never got tired of his questions. Even his mom sometimes hid her fatigue behind a mildly insincere I don’t know. “High heat isn’t exactly conductive to the activity of human cells either. That’s one of the reasons why you feel exhausted and achy when you have a fever, your body struggles to keep doing what it’s supposed to do above its normal temperature range. But Endeavor not only is at peak condition at 39 °C, he can also withstand open flames with a much higher temperature. This suggests that his cells must be fundamentally different from the average person’s on a biochemical level, that his quirk must provide some particularly efficient cellular mechanism to prevent heat damage. One example might be some dedicated enzymes to protect proteins from denaturation, but now I’m entering mere speculation.” A pause. “Did you follow me?” “...Kind of.” Izuku said, kind of lying but not entirely. He had followed most of that. He scrawled and circled a couple of terms he hadn’t grasped - Biochemical - Enzymes - Denaturation - on the page. He didn’t want to waste his father’s time by asking him to explain the meaning of words he could easily look up later on his own. “The gist of it is that Endeavor’s Hellflame has at least two facets. Not only ‘creating fire’, but also ‘not incinerating himself’. The first trait would be a fatal liability without the second.” “Got it!” Izuku cheered. Now that he had understood completely. “You sure know a lot about quirks, dad! Like, a lot! About anything, really!” “For the sake of intellectual honesty, it must be said that it isn’t difficult to impress a primary schooler.” His father laughed. “I’m just older than you.” “How much older?” Izuku asked, realizing for the first time that no one had ever told him his father’s age. “Oh, by a lot. Centuries.” Izuku cackled. “You can’t be that old. You still go to work. Our neighbors are 80 and they’re already retired.” “I do try to keep a youthful outlook on life. But yes, quirks fascinate me quite a bit. And they make for the perfect topic to distract you from your incessant yapping about All Might.” “Speaking of All Might-” “No, I-” His father sighed theatrically. “I just walked into this one, didn’t I?” “Yep.” Izuku grinned. “What about his quirk? Do you know anything about it? He never gives straight answers when people ask him about it…” “That may be the single sign of intelligence he’s ever displayed. The more your enemies know about your quirk, the easier it is for them to find your weaknesses. I’m surprised the other pro heroes aren’t as reserved.” “I wonder why All Might does that, though. His quirk is… pretty obvious.” Izuku pondered. “It just makes him strong. Very strong. Like, the strongest ever. But that’s it.” “Allegedly, yes. But as you noticed yourself, if raw power was all there was to it, there would be no reason to skirt around the issue in interviews, no?” “So there must be something else… What do you think it might be?” “I think it would be no less than cruel to deprive you of the thrill of carrying out your own research.” Izuku let out a dissatisfied moan, and his father chuckled. “You are already so very proficient at it. Your mother told me you’ve already filled a whole notebook with hero and quirk analyses.” “Oh, ehr… It’s just stuff I read here and there…” “Mh, I’ve heard enough of your ‘stuff’ to know that there’s more than random factoids in that head of yours. In fact…” Izuku felt his cheeks warm for the compliment. “I think you’ve gotten old and judicious enough to be trusted with my emergency number.” “Uh? What emergency number?” “It’s a phone number I’ll always answer to, on any day and at any hour, in case you may find yourself in a bad situation. Hopefully you’ll never need it, but better safe than sorry. Now…” His father’s voice raised slightly, drowning out Izuku’s impending interruption. “Can I rely on the fact that you are aware that desperately wanting to tell me that All Might saved a kitten from a meteor does not qualify as an emergency?” Izuku pouted. “I know what an emergency is, dad.” “Good. Ask your mother to give you the number then. Don’t save it on your phone or write it anywhere. Memorize it, and be responsible with it.”

December 3rd, 2275 Sorry for the long silence. I had an accident on the job and I won’t be able to speak clearly for a while. We can talk with the included devices. Use your ring finger to activate them. Usual days, usual hours. Hisashi That short note held the first words Izuku had received from his father in the last five months. The first month he hadn’t phoned, Izuku had felt slightly disappointed, but understanding. His father was a busy man, surely something very important must have been requiring his full-time attention. It was fine, Izuku was confident he could manage to sweet-talk him into a double-length call the following month to make up for that. The second month, he had started to worry. His mother hadn’t heard from his father either. It was unprecedented not to hear from him for such a long time. Since Izuku could remember, his father had never skipped one of their monthly calls. They often talked on the first day of every month, and he kept trying to contact them exactly once each following day if his calls were missed. He never failed to reach them past the third day. He always called from a hidden number, so trying to get hold of him was not an option. The third month, Izuku’s mother had decided to use the emergency number. She hadn’t been able to get through to her husband, but the polite colleague of his who had picked up had reassured her that he was indisposed but overall fine, and would get in touch with them as soon as possible… which could still take a while. Curiously, the coworker had also instructed them to collect a sample of their fingerprints and send them to a specific address. Izuku had been mystified by the request, but his mother had readily agreed, commenting that it was “not the strangest thing Hisashi’s ever asked for”. The silent wait that followed had been a little uneasy, but not harrowing. Izuku and his mother reread the message a couple of times before opening the box they’d just been delivered. Inside were only the two mentioned devices with their respective chargers, snuggled among waterproof packaging and stuffing. They looked very much like ordinary mobile phones, except they had no buttons or ports on any side. Some quick experimentation proved that they could be turned on simply by pressing the indicated finger on the touchscreen. The display showed a very minimalistic chat interface, with a fixed red dot on the top left corner. No amount of tapping on the screen could bring up the virtual keyboard though, which was puzzling. There was no way to access the rest of the phone’s functions, if it even had any. It was the third day of the month, so technically still within the familiar communication window. Izuku kept poking and prodding at the buttonless phone for the whole afternoon until eventually, shortly after dinner, the red dot at the top of the chat became green. A minute later, a message popped up. Hello, Izuku. Izuku almost dropped his cup of hot chocolate in excitement, which was quickly replaced by frustration because he still couldn’t type anything in any way. How was he supposed to- Speak. I can hear you. “...Oh! Nice!” Izuku exclaimed. “Hi, dad! How are you? What happened?” I’ve been better. I got decked by a hysterical ape. Izuku frowned. “That’s not funny. Mom and I were very worried.” That wasn’t really a joke. What? What even- “...How? Did you break into a zoo or something…?” Sorry, you’re right. Let me rephrase. I had a violent disagreement with a brute. “Oh…” Izuku was about to ask for further explanations but he waited. The three bouncing dots at the bottom of the screen signalled that his father was still writing. We will have to communicate like this for a while. I hope it isn’t too much of an inconvenience for you. Judging by how long it took him to type even the shortest messages, Izuku thought it was going to be much more of an inconvenience for his father. He felt sorry for him. “No, not all. Is it… is it really bad? Shouldn’t you come home so we can help you get better? It sounds like you won’t be able to work anyway…” I’ll receive better medical treatment here, and I can still get some work done while I recuperate. Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll recover fully sooner or later. Izuku picked at the lint of his blanket, choosing his words carefully. “You could… come home anyway. Even if you could work. When you’re feeling a little better. So we could spend some time together.” The three bouncing dots reappeared, but Izuku kept talking. He already knew what his father’s answer was going to be, but he wanted to take advantage of the delay to get a few more words in. “Some of my friends have parents that work far from home too. They’re away a lot, but… they do come back to visit sometimes. Usually for the holidays. At least… At least once.” At least his friends had actually met their fathers once in their whole lives, Izuku completed only in his head. You know how things stand. My job doesn’t afford me this kind of free time. “...What do you even do that won’t let you ever do anything?” Izuku muttered, out of sheer petulance. That was another familiar point of contention, to which his father replied with the same, word-for-word justification he always used. Every detail concerning my activities is classified by the government. We’ve been over this. Don’t be childish. And that was usually the end of it. Any further questioning after the ‘classified’ thing invariably turned Izuku’s father into a slippery wall of smooth deflections. But, considering the current situation, Izuku felt like he could get away with a little more nagging, if he played his cards right. “I know you can’t say anything. But how about…” He physically leaned forwards, trying not to let his tension seep through his voice. “How about I try to deduce something? About your job. Just… for fun.” No new message showed up, not even the typing dots. Izuku decided that it was as much of an approval as he was going to get, so he started to voice his thoughts as they formed. “...Your job is classified by the government. So it’s important, very important, so important that other people can’t know about it.” When he was very young, Izuku had obviously interpreted it as irrefutable proof that his father must be some sort of secret agent. He had exposed his conclusion to Kacchan and his gang once. They had… not-so-respectfully disagreed. Izuku had never brought up the matter with them afterwards. “Your note said that you got hurt on the job. So someone you know from work punched you so hard that, even after five months, you still can’t talk well.” Izuku paused. That was… a scary idea. It dawned on him, for the first time since the beginning of this whole ordeal, that his father may have really dodged a bullet there. What kind of a brute could possibly want to injure someone that much…? Surely a criminal… A villain, maybe…? “Your job is dangerous, and it leaves you almost no free time. It also pays well.” That last item was admittedly a shot in the dark, Izuku didn’t really know much about money handling. But he had noticed that his mother never denied him a gift or a treat on the grounds of its cost (his vast collection of All Might memorabilia was a testament to that), like so many of his friends’ relatives were wont to do. She didn’t need a job herself, and Izuku remembered overhearing a conversation she had with Kacchan’s mom where she had said that they were ‘well provided for’. “You know a lot about a lot of stuff, especially about quirks and heroes. You know a lot of things about quirks and heroes that I couldn’t find anywhere on the internet.” Izuku paused, racking his brain for anything else that stuck out. Before he could come up with more points to make, his father finally wrote back. You sure put some thought into this. I’m impressed. The lack of reprimands was an encouragement in its own right. Now came the hard part. These were all facts that he already knew, now he had to put them together… and no matter how much he tried to come up with different possibilities, there was only one explanation that rang true in Izuku’s mind. “Dad… are you some sort of… undercover hero?” Izuku waited with baited breath for the dancing dots to turn into a complete message. Definitely not. ...Aw, shoot. Although I guess I do happen to deal with heroes quite often in my line of work. Izuku gasped. That was the first real piece of information his father had ever shared with him about his job! And wow, he worked with heroes! And whatever support he lent them had to be pretty vital if he was always so busy and tight-lipped. “So you’re like… a policeman? An informant that tracks down villains for the heroes to catch? Or an engineer bound by trade secret? Or-” Enough, Izuku. I’m supposed to be resting. I don’t think being given the third degree by my own son counts as such. Izuku deflated. So close to the truth, and yet so far… Maybe he could manage to get some other clue out of his father later. But… there was one more thing he simply had to ask. “...Have you ever met All Might?” I’m just going to ignore you after this. Well, it had been worth a try. Izuku finally relented, reasonably satisfied with the result of his investigation. “Okay, okay. Sorry. No more questions. And no All Might stuff. Not that I have much to tell you about him. He hasn’t really been around lately.” Hasn’t he, now? Uh, odd. It wasn’t like his father to miss an opportunity to dodge All Might gossip. Izuku supposed there’d be no harm in taking advantage of this atypical spark of curiosity. “Yeah. It’s been like this for a few months. Rumors say he’s abroad, working on some large scale mission. Something very secret, that’s why there are no articles on him in newspapers from other countries either.” I wasn’t aware of this. That’s very interesting. Although I couldn’t imagine anyone less suited to hushed-up operations. Izuku couldn’t help but snort. In light of the recent revelation, he wondered if his father was so unapologetically critical of All Might because he had worked with him and they hadn’t gotten along… which seemed kind of impossible. How could All Might be the unpleasant type of coworker? Or maybe his father really was just jealous because he couldn’t work with All Might often enough. A sudden thought occurred to the boy. “...Sorry, I guess you don’t want to hear about hero stuff now that you’re, uh… on forced vacation.” Actually, I’d love to. I’ve been a little out of the loop lately, I need to catch up with the news anyway. Fire away all the information you have. Izuku smiled. “Even about All Might?” Especially about All Might.

[readerinsertfanfiction]

The Bae’st of all

Fandom: Ikemen Sengoku

Character: Kyubae the bae’st bae of all aka Kyubei

Prompt: Seeing how Kyubei is named after an alias that the real Mitsuhide Akechi used (Juubei) the chances of fans getting a Kyubei route from Cybird are slim. However, it is simply impossible not to fall for this man. He is too good. So here have my attempt at writing a route.

The key of the previous chapter was (Romantic/Dramatic):

+4/+2

+2/+4

+4/+4

A/N: So, everyone except from one voted Dramatic so far. You guys have until 10.2 to vote which route comes out first. Gogogo!

Chapters:

1.1| 1.2 | 2.1 | 2.2 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 4.1 | 4.2 | 5.1 | 5.2 | 6.1 | 6.2 | 7.1 | 7.2 | 8.1 | 8.2 | 9.1 | 9.2 | 

Avatar Challenge 1 | 3.1 Gacha POV | 1st Letter | 5.2 Gacha | Avatar Challenge 2 | 2nd Letter | Avatar Challenge 3

(To Motonari I'm bait. For Kennyo a tool to force their hand. To the Oda I'm just a chatelaine, and to Kyubei I'm…)

Hidden away in the temple I’m contemplating what my possible roles to play are. However, I still my thoughts just before the last part, unable to finish the last sentence even in silence.

(I will have to. Kyubei's very person is on the line and I need to focus.)

Taking in a deep sigh I say the words out loud:

"His dilemma."

"His weakness.”

“His light.”

It makes me uncomfortable, but it is a good realisation to make if I want to help Kyubei. I don’t know his plans yet, but I shall do whatever is needed to keep myself from becoming an obstacle that ruins his mission.

(Motonari supplies weapons to Kennyo and the Ikko-Ikki. Mitsuhide is working together with Motonari, using Kyubei as a middleman. Neither Motonari and Kennyo trust Mitsuhide or Kyubei, but they see a use in me, who is both from the Oda who Mitsuhide just betrayed and can possibly tie down Kyubei…)

(Kyubei wouldn’t, right? He is loyal to Mitsuhide and Mitsuhide alone. He wouldn’t choose me over him, right?)

For some reason thinking that breaks my heart a little, but I don’t want Kyubei to throw away who he is and his cause because of me. The plot makes my brain swim, unable to comprehend what is truly going on as I continue to fret.

(Focus! Focus, me! I have to make sure that Kyubei doesn’t have to make that choice in the first place!)

But nothing comes to me as I eye around the room. Not even a slightly creepy, but convenient, ceiling-ninja.

(What use were all these lessons anyway if I can’t put them into practice!)

Frustrated, I ball my fists as I fling myself on the floor, wrapping Kyubei’s haori tightly around me while I listen to the rain falling outside.

(He doesn’t have his coat with him and it is raining again. I wonder if he is cold, or if he found shelter.)

A knock on my door encourages me to push myself up into a sitting position as I watch a masked warrior monk in black slide open the door.

“Dinner.”

The figure, just as solemn and quiet as their abbott, only says that single word before retreating, leaving a plate of what is a hearty meal on the table.

(Ah, the famous shojin-ryori menu!)

I can’t help myself but take a peek at the food that they have dished out for me, a curiosity to see the simple diet that the monks of Japan are so famous for.

(When will I have the chance to try some authentic shojin-ryori again? In the modern era you have to call in advance to make sure it is the real deal and here it is just served!)

(But wait…)

In my excitement I take a closer look at the plate. It existed out of a simple clear broth with tofu and vegetables and a side dish of pancakes made of soybean remainders mixed with vegetables for colour and topped with scallions.

(Isn’t that also banned? I remember something about it exciting the senses…)

Lifting the plate with the pancakes I examine it carefully, turning it into all angles as I eye the densely packed cake, a piece of paper and leave underneath it to draw out the grease from the pan fried dish.

(But the paper is below the leaf.)

Drawing out the paper I realise that it is a note rather than that it was meant for grease, the neat and small script of the note familiar.

‘Bar the doors tonight, open the window when the crow calls.’

My heart thumps when I realise that the note comes from Kyubei and what the words mean. It elates me as well as that there is a rising dread as I realise the implications of the note and the decision he might have made.

(Please don’t let that be true…)

“My men reported that you didn’t finish your meal today.”

That night Kennyo comes to visit me, his face as stern as ever, but there is a worry in his eyes as he sits near my door, keeping close to the exit but blocking it as well.

“Our cuisine is simple and might be a bit too bland to your taste, but it is important that you don’t starve yourself.”

Involuntarily I feel like a scolded kid, despite the gentle words that are meant to coax me rather than to guilt me.

In the time that I have spent here I have come to notice that Kennyo is a caring man with fatherly tendencies. Though he keeps his distance from me and tries to treat me coldly I can’t help but notice the small bursts of warmth he shows to me.

“I wasn’t too hungry. The food is fine.”

Gulping I try to answer as naturally as possible, but my words feel awkward and halted as Kennyo’s dark eyes eye me with slight suspicion, a sigh escaping him before he produces a sweet smelling bun for me.

“Here, just in case you get hungry.”

And with that Kennyo means to leave me again, his back solemn and his air mournful, the sweet bun he left for me contrasting to the bitter sadness and regret he always carries with him. Before I know it I have called out to him:

“Kennyo? Thank you, for everything.”

The words have left me before I even realise them myself, but I mean them wholeheartedly all the same. Kennyo freezes in his steps, turning around with surprise clear on his face. His eyes narrow in reminiscence of a painful memory as he flashes me a wry smile.

“You’re my hostage. Why are you thanking me, have you no common sense?”

His words are chiding, but I grimace back all the same in genuine delight. For all the bad he tries to do and pretends to be Kennyo truly is no different from the rest of the warlords. Fighting for his ideals and what he believes will bring peace to his people.

Pocketing the sweet bun Kennyo left me I set out to work as soon as the door closed behind the man, leaving me alone for the night until the next morning.

(I don’t know when Kyubei plans to come, but I won’t allow anything to jeopardise the mission.)

I don’t have many things in the room, nor is there any heavy furniture. The temple keeps a simple interior reflecting their lifestyle, but I manage to stack up a fort to block the door nonetheless.

(Phew, I’m glad I managed to do this.)

Finished, I’m admiring my handiwork when a bell sounds through the small temple, the sound of rushed footsteps and orders breaking through the silence of the otherwise so peaceful temple.

(It has started!)

Holding my breath I slowly back away from the door as I turn to the window, my hands feeling clammy as I strain my ears. The beat of my speeding heart threatens to overtake my senses as I try to keep my breath under control, counting the seconds for the conditions to be fulfilled for the second part of the instructions.

“[Name], [Name]!”

A scratchy voice calls for me from beyond the window followed by the flapping of wings and a large shadow at the other side of the screen. Sucking in my breath I pull the frame open as I’m faced by the shadow that I have missed, slightly damp from the rain outside and clad in a single kimono, his haori still with me.

“It has been a while, my lady.”

Long dark hair that rivals the night sky in the back, and skin that resembles the reflection of the moon. Kyubei towers over me as he holds his hand out to me, his eyes crinkled into crescent moons as he smiles upon me. On his shoulder sits Kage, his beak parted as he flaps his wings.

“[Name], [Name]!”

[ressyfaerie]

Here I am with another request! Just a sequel for that Vampire Tyka AU, maybe how will go in a night of super moon or just another prompt comes in your mind, I'll let you free!

Sorry it took so long! I’m back at work and still recovering! I’m still finishing up requests!

YES!! A request for a sequel to one of my favourite fics I’ve written DON'T MIND IF I DO!

If you haven’t read the 1st fic you can find it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30742760

My biggest problem is I have TOO MANY IDEAS!! But I’ll just start writing and see where it goes! Posted under readmore for NSFW!

“We could do it two times a day?”

“No. I won’t do that to you.”

Tyson pouted, “it was only a suggestion… I’m worried since you always look so pale in the afternoon.”

Kai shook his head, “it’s not happening.”

The past few weeks had been the most amazing time of Kai’s life.

Everynight he would feed on Tyson. Tyson loved it—probably more than Kai did.

The feeding, the closeness, and the sex. It was everything Kai ever wanted.

Currently, Kai tasted the remains of the crimson delight as it rolled around his tongue. Tyson laid beside him, naked and running his fingers over Kai’s chest.

When Tyson was in his apartment bedroom, it became his oasis.

Kai smiled at Tyson, his fangs just poked through his parted lips.

“Mmm…” Tyson ran his finger over one of the white teeth, Kai turned his head away.

“Stop…”

“No…” Tyson pushed himself into Kai, kissing him passionately.

Kai loved this, he rocked his saviour’s hips back and forth overtop of him.

He pretended everything was okay.

He had to wake himself up soon���or it could be a disaster.

But watching Tyson sit over him, and seeing the small droplets of blood trickle down his thigh… Made his heart skip a beat.

How could I leave this?

Tyson kissed his neck, then his chest. “I’m glad you started feeding from my thighs instead of my neck… Now people won’t ask weird questions…”

“Me too…” Kai mumbled, but felt a hollow emptiness in his stomach.

He was still hungry.

He was frustrated this kept happening. He would dread everyday waiting until he could taste Tyson. Slowly, each time he grew hungrier.

He would take as much as possible, Tyson begged for me, but he knew when to stop, he couldn’t take more or it could seriously injure him.

Yet he wanted to.

He would stop himself, then worship his lover's body in other ways, it killed him to touch bare skin yet still be starving.

After a shower, they would cuddle, and talk. Kai felt Tyson’s heartbeat, each night growing more intense.

“Kai, I got you something.”

“Hm?”

Tyson handed him a box and he opened it with a confused expression.

Inside looked like a pair of reading glasses.

Kai gave him a quizzical expression, “ever since I turned, my eyesight has been perfect?”

“I know, there’s no prescription.”

“Then... why?”

Tyson picked them up, unfolded them and handed them over, “they’re solar sensitive, when it gets too bright, they change and become darker.”

Kai took them, “wow, really?” He placed them on his face, they felt like regular reading glasses.

“I thought they would be great since you’re… light sensitive.”

Kai stared at his blue haired lover through his new glasses, “God, I love you.”

Tyson’s eyes grew wide.

Kai panicked when he realized what he had said, “Ah… that not what—”

“You love me?”

Tyson’s eyes looked wet, Kai couldn’t lie to him.

“Yeah.”

Tyson threw himself against him, kissing him for the hundredth time that night.

Tyson went home just after midnight. Kai would never let him sleep over. He tried, but Kai knew better. He couldn’t promise Tyson’s safety overnight. Tyson just smiled, saying ‘I trust you’ over and over again.

When will he understand… I can’t trust myself?

Kai awoke hours later.

Hungry.

He turned over to go back to sleep, a habit he had made the past week.

This time it wasn’t going away.

I have to go to the dojo for training tomorrow… If I see Tyson like this… will I be able to hold myself together?

Kai remembered yesterday, he barely made it. When Tyson arrived he had thrown him against the wall yanking his pants off and shoving his fangs into his soft flesh without even saying hello.

Tyson loved it.

Kai felt like it was a blur, he only felt in control of his actions when he got a taste of blood.

That terrified him.

If I was hungrier… What would I have done?

What will I do?

His appetite was growing. Tyson wasn’t safe.

I’m selfish.

Kai tossed and turned.

I won’t sleep until I eat.

He found himself in the kitchen. He had no food here. It didn’t matter anyways. No matter how much food he ate he would feel like he hadn’t eaten anything. Food had no taste, and it certainly wouldn’t satiate his hunger. He had accepted his fate of one meal a day—and that meal was Tyson.

It’s not enough.

He left the apartment. He wandered for ages. The streets turned to bushes until he found himself in a rural area of town.

The road, then a field.

A farm?

The lights were off, and the animals were sleeping.

He slipped into the barn unnoticed.

A normal person couldn’t see in this darkness.

But Kai wasn’t normal.

He could just make out the silhouettes of the sleeping animals, but that’s not how he knew where they were.

He could feel their heartbeats.

Small but loud, littering the barn like gum on pavement.

A few weeks ago the only heartbeat he could detect was Tyson’s. Now, his sensitivity had grown much stronger. Every heartbeat was detectable, even his friends; and when he was in the stadium…

Let's just say it was agony.

In the barn he could feel the pulse of the cows, and the slow beat of the horses, even the small drumming of mice under the floorboards.

The only blood he craved was Tysons.

However, he was painfully aware he would have to find other outlets soon.

Next to him was a wooden fence. It housed an old horse. A clipboard was nailed to one of the posts, he read it.

This horse is getting sent to the slaughter house tomorrow…

The next day, Kai trained with the team after showing up late. He had a decent sleep and hoped his desire for Tyson had dwindled.

He cursed when he discovered it had only grown stronger.

He sat alone on the opposite side of the house looking over the gardens. He let his face fall in his hands. He could feel everyone on the property, but Tyson the most. He felt him branch off from the group, he was approaching Kai.

Tyson slid open the shoji door, he sat beside Kai, “hey.”

Kai raised his face out of his hands, “Hello.”

“Are you alright?” Tyson placed a hand on Kai’s shoulder, but was aggressively shrugged off.

“No.” Kai felt a stabbing pain in his chest when he admitted it.

Tyson snuck both his arms around Kai’s neck, holding him in a tight embrace, “what can I do to help?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you… hungry?” Tyson tilted his head, teasing his silver haired prince in just the right way.

Kai didn’t dare answer that.

Tyson grasped his chin, forcing him to lock eye contact, “you should eat.”

Kai shook his head, “not till tonight.”

Tyson’s body pulsed intensely with the red delicacy Kai would do anything for. He glanced at his neck, the scabs he had made weeks before were still visible.

Kai opened his mouth, his fangs snuck out, he didn’t mean to, the instinct was too powerful.

“Mhm, there they are.” Tyson grasped Kai’s hand, pulling him into another room of the dojo. “Come in here.”

Kai followed, he would go anywhere he went, especially if it meant a reward.

Tyson slid the door closed behind them, they were in a medium sized room Kai didn’t recognize.

“There’s other people around, but we can be quick…” Tyson unbuckled his belt.

His heart raced. Kai could feel his nervousness raise his blood pressure, Kai couldn’t take it.

He could see the small crimson rivers flowing under his bare skin. His arms were the only things exposed, Kai wanted all his clothes removed so he could admire the colour as much as possible.

Kai grasped his hands over his pants, “please stop—you don’t understand—”

“I understand you need to eat, or you’ll die” Tyson’s voice was serious, but stuttered slightly.

“If you keep treating this like a game… You will die.”

Neither of them moved.

Tyson shook his head, “I don’t care—”

Kai raised his voice, “I could kill you, do you understand!?”

Tyson’s heartbeat was stronger than it had ever been, Kai’s hands trembled, he was forcing himself back.

Tyson suddenly planted a long wet kiss on Kai’s lips. Kai accepted it, drinking it like an oasis in a desert, they pulled apart. Tyson’s face showed concern.

“What?” Kai wondered what was wrong with the kiss for him to react with such disgust.

“You taste like metal.”

“Huh?”

“You only taste like that after you’ve had my blood.”

The silence was deafening.

Tyson broke the silence first, “did you?—”

“I found a farm. There is no one else but you—”

“Animals?” Tyson looked revolted.

Kai held his shoulders, “you don’t understand—”

“Did you kill something?”

“No! No, I wouldn’t, you know that…”

Tyson placed a hand along his cheek. His voice was calm, “what do animals taste like?”

“Disgusting.” Kai spat.

The taste still lingered in his mouth, it felt dirty. The faint taste of mud and game lingered on his tongue and he felt he could never get rid of it.

Tyson said the one word Kai had been dreading—

“Why?”

Kai stared into his eyes, and nuzzled his head into Tyson’s hand. The touch was warm, and soft, but rang with the continuous pulse of blood.

“My… my appetite has grown.”

Tyson didn’t flinch, but Kai detected his heart when it raced with anxiety.

Kai closed his eyes briefly, then looked back at Tyson, “I should be more clear… It has been growing constantly. And it won’t stop—I’ve tried.”

“Kai—”

“We can’t keep doing this. I won’t—”

“You need to!”

“Not with you, I refuse to hurt you, and eventually—I will.

“You don’t know that!”

Tyson was bursting with anger and heat. It was like his body was ripening. Kai could taste the sweet red from here, he gulped.

“I give you permission! We can keep doing this until we find a cure—”

“There is no cure.” Kai’s voice vibrated when he tried to keep his anger under control.

“There could be, I just need to do more research—”

“There’s no cure, Tyson!”

Kai pushed Tyson away, crossing his arms, his eyes grew wet when he saw Tyson’s face filled with absolute betrayal.

“We’ve been through this…” Kai went from angry to sad in an instant, “I’m like this forever—there’s no going back.”

“Kai…” Tyson took a few dangerous steps towards him, “you said you loved me.”

“That has nothing to do with this…” Kai begged, “please understand that I do! That’s why I can’t keep doing this to you…”

“I love you too.” To Kai’s surprise, Tyson grew a smile. “That’s why… I need you—”

Tyson had suddenly thrown his forearm against Kai’s mouth.

“—to eat.”

Kai’s body went numb. Normally he would throw Tyson off in an instant, tell him he was crazy, and they would get on with their day.

Not this time.

Kai felt his soft skin run along his teeth, the saliva that formed in his mouth dripped down his lover's tanned arm. He felt something spark inside him… something primal.

Something he couldn’t control.

Red.

All he could taste was blood, all he could see was red, and Tyson’s face, in front of his own.

It took everything in Kai to shake his head and in turn Tyson took his arm away.

There was no more thinking, no more pushing down emotions.

Kai leaped at Tyson, grasping his shoulders and throwing him to the hardwood on his back.

Tyson muffled a scream, Kai grasped his hair tossing his head to the side.

Straddling him, he shoved his head into his neck and bit down with force.

He began to suck, faster and longer than he ever had. He wasn’t savouring anymore—he was devouring.

If Tyson had noticed this, he didn’t show it. He was the worst instigator, he moaned words to keep Kai going.

“Yeah, just like that—finally.”

Tyson lovingly ran his hand through Kai’s silver hair.

“Good boy.”

Slowly, Kai was coming to his senses, the blood kept flowing, and his vision became clear.

He knew this.

But he didn’t stop.

“Kai? You need to move from my neck, you’ll leave bruises—”

Kai bit down harder.

“Ah! Mm!” Tyson felt Kai’s fangs dig deeper than they ever had before.

It tasted better than it ever had before.

Kai was positive feasting on the animals the night before should have decreased his appetite.

He was wrong.

So wrong.

He felt his pupils roll back as his body sank into pure pleasure.

Underneath his body he felt Tyson tense.

“Kai? Take it easy…”

I need to pull away.

“Kai, I don’t feel… so good.”

Pull away!

Tyson didn’t fight, he didn’t scream, his body just went limp.

When it happened Kai felt a cold shiver run down his spine.

Get off him!

Kai’s jaw popped under the pressure it took to remove it. He pushed himself away from Tyson. He saw his limp body underneath him, and began to panic.

“Tyson!”

Kai shook his shoulders.

“Tyson! Wake up, get up!”

Kai ran his shaking hand over his cheek.

“I’m so sorry, please don’t be dead please, please—please.”

Kai felt the tears roll down his face as he let out faint painful sobs.

“Mmff…”

Kai heard the murmur escape Tysons lips.

“Tyson!”

Tyson grimaced as he lazily turned his head in Kai’s direction.

Kai gasped, “oh, thank god…”

Tyson opened his eyes halfway, “I think you did a bit too much…”

Kai shook his head, “I’m so fucking sorry—”

“It’s my fault—”

“How is this your fault!?”

“I haven’t eaten anything today…”

Kai crawled off Tyson, he felt how weak his legs were.

Tyson tried to sit up.

“Woah! Careful…” Kai had his hand on his back keeping him stable. He cursed himself, he shouldn’t even be touching him.

“It’s fine Kai—I’m fine!”

Kai stared into his eyes, Tyson stared back.

Kai took a deep breath, “next time, we won’t be so lucky.”

“We will find a cure by then.”

“How many times do I have to tell you! There is no cure!”

Kai shouted as loud as possible trying to get it into Tyson’s thick head. He pushed himself to his feet, he looked down on Tyson.

Tyson was shocked into silence.

“If there is a cure, I’ll find it on my own.”

“We need to work together.”

“I can’t be around you!”

Kai threw his hands in the air in defeat.

“I’m leaving.”

“Like hell you are!”

Kai nodded, his mind was made up.

“I’m going to Europe, where this all began.”

Tyson protested, “No—”

“I am. I’m going to find the person who did this to me. I’ll find out if a cure even exists.”

Tyson shook his head as tears welled in his eyes.

“If you find a cure… will you come back?”

Kai swallowed nervously, “yes.”

“No matter how long it takes, right?”

Kai nodded. He took a deep breath and said the words Tyson would never forget.

“I love you. I want to be with you. Very few things could hold me back—I hope you know how hard this decision is for me—”

“It’s hard for me too.” Tears rolled down Tyson’s cheeks.

Kai backed up, slowly making his way to the door.

Kai took one last, long look at Tyson. Making a mental note of every hair, every crevice, every colour.

“I love you so much, Kai.”

Kai closed his eyes and hung his head low.

He raised his head, opening his eyes, feeling the dampness of his own cheeks.

“I love you too.”

He quickly turned, threw open the door, and sprinted through the gardens. Wiping his face with his sleeve so he could see. He felt his stomach turn and he felt sick.

He didn’t dare look back.

----

I have SO many ideas for a chapter 3 and an ending! If there’s a demand I might just write it? :O

[kaazzzyy]

Kengan Omega One shot series (1) : Learning to get along

Hi again ! Here’e the 1st one shot ! Don’t forget all one-shots are connected so they are meant to be read in chronological order. If you missed the introduction chapter, you can read it here. Enjoy !

"It's so hot today...", complained Yamashita, as sweaty as ever, his legs shaking from the effort, mentally cursing himself for having the idea to go out during afternoon, right when the sun's at his brightest. - "Yeaahh... so hot... I feel like I'm going to melt...", agreed (Y/n) as she took off her suit's jacket to tie it around her waist.

The duo was on their way to the SJPW training ground. Yamashita absolutely wanted to introduce the girl to the pro westlers. He thought she would feel comfortable easily around them and that was the occasion for her to meet more fighters and see how they live.

"Here we are !", exclaimed Yamashita, relieved to finally be sheltered from the deadly sunlight. "Let's go in !" - "Yeah !", agreed the girl with the same enthousiasm.

A wave of cool air made its way to their skin as soon as they entered the building. They both let a sight of relief, enjoying the fleeting feeling as much as possible. However, their entry was immediatly noticed by a very muscular man with dreads.

'He's huge !', thought (Y/n), both impressed and slighty panicked. She looked up at his toothy smile from her 165 centimeters height. He seemed friendly and intimidating at the same time.

"Mister Yamashita ! What a surprise !", yelled the big guy, which didn't let (Y/n) indifferent. - "Hi Sekibayashi ! Hope you are doing well ! How is Koga doing ?", answered the CEO with a smile.

'Wait, Koga ? The guy from yesterday ?! He is here ?!', screamed (Y/n) internally as she remembered how intimidating he was to her previously.

"See for yourself !", laughed Sekibayashi as he pointed to the crowd of men working out behind him. (Y/n) was looking at them in owe. 'They seem to work so hard... Some of them are even of the verge of fainting ! They are crazy ...!'

She finally spotted Koga. 'He seems to handle it well.', she commented to herself, with a small smile.

"And who is this little girl ?", asked Sekibayashi, intrigued by the new girl's presence. - "She is the new secretary for Yamashita Trading Co., (Y/n) (L/n) !" - "N-Nice to meet you ! You can call me my first name ! I mean... if you want to, of course...", she answered with a nervous voice the westler couldn’t not notice.

He looked a bit surprised first but his signature grin didn't wait to show up once more. "No need to be nervous, (Y/n) ! You are a part of the family now !", he said as he lifted her up in the air like she weighted nothing.

"W-Woah...!"

The sudden action made her let escape a sound of surprise. She could see the whole training ground from a better view now. Every eyes were on her. Her face started to burn just like when she was walking under the sunlight earlier. She just wanted to dig a hole and never come out but she couldn't run away so she decided to act instead.

"H-Hi everyone !", she yelled to the silent crowd with a very nervous smile and a wave of her hand.

A general laugh surrounded all the building. She noticed Koga looking at her, sweatdropping.

'Are they making fun of me... ? Not surprising, I was ridiculous as fuck here...'

Sekibayashi put her down and gently patted her head as he smiled down at her. "Don't worry, they just think you are very funny !" - "I-If you say so...", the girl muttered.

"Okay that's all for now ! Take some rest, you all !"

The sweating crowd dispersed in all the building, making it look way wider and more spacious than it already did. Everyone was taking a little rest.

Everyone but Koga.

"Hey Seki, can I do some shadow boxing while I wait to go up ?", he asked, wiping some sweat from his face. - "Oh ? Sure !", answered the giant wrestler, a bit taken aback, "That's fine by me..."

"He's still going on ?!", thought (Y/n) aloud, not able to contain her surprise. - "He's far more tough than when I was a rookie.", commented a voice from behind her.

(Y/n) turned around, surprised by the sudden voice apparition.

"Hi, I'm Kurachi Karugo. And this weird masked guy is José. Nice to meet you!", he greeted with a smile. The intimited girl bowed after she introduced herself. - "Who are you calling "weird", you viejo ?", started the masked guy, angrily.

"Koga is very strong, isn't he ?", the rookie secretary asked abruptly. She wondered how strong the young man was compared to all those imposant guys around her. - "Well, he just started his training with us, but there is no room for doubt in his talent."

'So he has still a long road to go, huh ? He will certainly make it if they talk about him like that... Don't give up Koga !', she tought with a determined smile on her face.

"What a shame", started a familiar voice, "You are letting it all go to waste."

The sudden intervention interpelled everyone's intention in the building.

'Ryuki ?! I didn't even notice him here !'

"What did you just said ? What am I letting go to waste ?", asked Koga, unfazed by Ryuki's rude comment. - "I'm telling you, this is a waste. You are never going to become a fighter, no matter how long you do this crap."

"Ryuki ?! Where's this coming from ?!", yelled Yamashita, obviously startled by Ryuki's behavior. (Y/n)'s anger was growing more and more.

'How dare he insults him and all the efforts he puts into his training ?!'

"I'm only calling it a waste because it is. What's wrong with that ?", Ryuki asked as he looked at Yamashita, "Would it be better if I didn't say anything at all ? What is Koga doing this for anyway ?"

Koga looked at Ryuki with obvious dismay everyone could notice easily. (Y/n) couldn't shut her mouth anymore.

"What are you talking about ?!", she started angrily, earning everybody’s attention in no time ,"How dare you denigrate all the effort he is putting in to become stronger ? Do you think it's easy ? Don't you have any manners ?"

She looked at Ryuki dead in the eye. He still seemed unfazed like usual, as if he said nothing. Koga, on the contrary was visibly shaken up and touched by her intervention. A very uncomfortable silence followed, as both (Y/n) and Ryuki glared at each other.

José suddenly stepped in. He exchanged a brief glance with the girl as if he thanked her silently before walking to Ryuki.

" 'A waste ?' 'This crap' ?" I'm not gonna let that slide. You're dissing pro wrestling, aren't you ? Get in the ring.", he commanded, dryly.

'A fight ? I don't want them to physically fight over this !', panicked (Y/n), her anger suddenly dropping.

"Mister José !", she tried, "I-" - "Don't waste your time, he is not going to reconsider his decision.", Sekibayashi cut her off, "Damn, José acting all immature..." - "Well, he is a pro wrestling fanatic, after all.", added Kurachi like it was nothing.

'I hope they won't seriously hurt each other...', (Y/n) was angry to Ryuki but she didn't want him to get hurt, though.

The fight went on under everyone's eyes. Ryuki finally aimed a powerful punch into José stomach. But that's wasn't enough to take him down. The masked wrestler took a fighting stance, ready to charge.

"José !", interrumpted Sekibayashi angrily, "You're fighting in the main event tomorrow, remember ?!"

The fight got shortened, thanks to Sekibayashi's help. (Y/n) and Yamashita both sighed in relief.

"You sure got some guts, little girl.", grinned Sekibayashi as he ruffled her black hair gently, "Wasn't expecting that from you." - "When I get angry I just can't control myself, sorry.", she apologized, trying to restyle her hair as much as possible. - "Don't apologize for that !", he laughed, "We love people with guts here !"

(Y/n) could only smile warmly at that. "Thanks, I appreciate the compliment."

"Listen, everyone ! Put all you've got in the sparrings ! You will be recompensed by a very nutritious diner !"

The crowd agreed in unison before taking place to start their sparring exercises.

"Are you going to prepare diner for all of them ?", asked (Y/n), surprised. - "Of course ! The SJPW's curry is legendary ! They have to eat well and a lot to grow strong !" - "Do you mind if I help you out?" - "Not at all ! That would be very much appreciated ! Preparing a dish for that amount of people isn't easy !"

(Y/n) stayed at Sekibayashi's side during the whole curry's preparation. The young secretary asked questions about fighting, wrestling and even nutrition. The wrestler was enjoying her curiosity and her presence a lot, actually. Diner time was about to come. Sekibayashi asked (Y/n) to set the giant tables they had to host all the pupils. She accepted with a smile; it made her feel happy to be useful to people. When she finished her task, she called out to the disciples' attention.

"Diner's ready, guys !"

                                     ----------------------------------------------                          

Everyone was now sitting and enjoying the famous SJPW's curry. 'It's so good !!’, thought (Y/n) as she brang another full spoon into her mouth. She didn't even notice José sitting beside her.

"Where's Koga ?", suddenly asked Sekibayashi, worried as he turned his head everywhere in order to find the blonde. - "He is still in the dojo.", calmly answered José, making (Y/n) aware of his presence, "Don't worry, I taught him how to lock up."

'Is he still upset about today...?', wondered Sekibayashi, even more worried.

"I bet he is hungry after all that training !", exclaimed (Y/n) happily, a spoon and an empty plate in her hands. Once the rice and curry was almost spilling out of it, she walked to Sekibayashi.

"Sekibayashi !"

The wrestler looked at the smiling girl, intrigued by her sudden entousiasm. "Do you need something, (Y/n) ?"

"Can you show me where is the dojo Mister José talked about, please ?" - "Yeah, sure ! I was going to see what's Koga doing anyway. Is this plate for him ?", he pointed at the over-fullfilled plate in her hands. - "Yeah ! I thought he must be really hungry so I wanted to give him this." - "Ahahaha ! Young's love !", laughed Sekibayashi as loud as ever, making the young girl's face turning red in an instant. - "C-cut it out ! That's not like this !!" - "I'm joking, (y/n)~", he reassured playfully, patting her head gently.

(Y/n) pouted as she followed Sekibayashi closely.

"Here we are !"

They could see the dojo's light turned on from the high window. The huge wrester could easily look at that window, but the young girl couldn't even reach it with her hands.

"Need some help ?", he asked with a grin. - "Yeah, please...", she muttered, a bit ashamed by her small height. She put the plate aside as she watched through the window. She saw Ryuki drawing some circles on the floor before showing, she assumed, a sort of footwork exercise. 'He's moving so fast but in a very strange way...'.

Koga then reproduced it with a grin on his face. However, his proud state was easily broke by something Ryuki pointed to him as he took a bite of some rice ball he got in his hand.

'Ryuki is training Koga !', conclued (Y/n), her eyes sparking in realisation. "He doesn't seem to be a bad guy finally... He just really lack some tact. And seems very honest also...", she spoked her mind aloud. - "Indeed", nodded Sekibayashi as he put (Y/n) on the ground gently, "Are you not bringing him his plate of food ?". She shaked her head before taking the food back in her hands, "They are busy right now, I'll come again later !" - "I see !", grinned the pro wrestler, "Let's go back to the main building." - "Yeah, let's go !"

(Y/n) waited and waited but still no sign of Koga. She was one of the few people still remaining in the building at the moment. Sekibayashi walked to the table she was sitting at, the plate in front of her.

"It's getting late, you should go home (Y/n)." - "Koga still in the dojo, so I'll wait."

Her answer made him surprised but he didn't show it. "I see... Then, do you mind if I give you one of the building keys ? Just make sure you close it before leaving !" - "W-What ?! Seriously ? Do you trust me that much already ? I mean that's an important task and all-" - "Just take it.", he interrupted, putting the key on the table, just in front of her, "Oh and by the way, there is a microwave here if you want to heat it up." - "Thank you so much ! You're the best !", she thanked warmly with a smile.

Sekibayashi ruffled her hair gently before taking his way out.

"I hope to see you tomorrow, too ! Be careful on your way home !", he waved, his back at her. - "Yeah, don't worry. Good night, Sekibayashi ! And thanks again !"

(Y/n) decided to wait Koga just in front of the dojo to make sure he doesn't directy go home after his work out. The night wind was really pleasant everytime it touched her skin or made it's way through her pitch black hair. Her red elastic danced along with her high ponytail's strands of hair.

She passed around twenty minutes on her phone before the dojo's door opened only to reveal Ryuki's thinking face. Her presence remained unnoticed by him before she spoke up ironically, a bit vexed he didn't notice her.

"Hi there !"

Ryuuki looked up lazily at her sitting form. "Hi. What are you doing here this late ?" - "Waiting for Koga." - "Oh, I see.", he simply answered, now looking up at the night sky, absently.

An uncomfortable silence followed the small interaction, during which she noticed Ryuki's actually shirtless. She already saw him when he was sparring with José but he wasn't that close ! It made her blush in embarassment for thinking about that so seriously. But (Y/n) needed to say something important to her, so she gathered all her courage and went on.

"Hum... I...", she tried, her eyes focused on her nervously playing hands.

Ryuki looked back at her, curious.

"I just wanted to apologize for what I said to you earlier. You actually cared for Koga, I just was too stupid to understand it. I'm sorry..." - "Oh yeah ! I remember now !"

The young woman finally lifted her gaze to him, taken aback. 'H-He forgot ?'

"You didn’t need to apologize for that, but I appreciate you did.", he stated with his usual non-caring tone. - "T-Thanks I guess..."

Ryuki nodded at her before taking his leave, without a word.

'Still as polite as always...', she sighed internally before getting up to the door.

"Koga... ?", she hesitantly asked as she slowly opened the door.

She was welcomed by the young man's sweaty bare back. He was currently sitting on the floor, trying to catch his breath. 'Oh no, he's shirtless too !', she internally screamed as he turned his head to her.

"Are you okay ?", she asked with genuine worry as she approached him slowly. - "Y-Yeah...", he managed to answer between two breaths, "J-Just gimme a sec..." - "Oh, okay."

A brief silence followed before she continued. "I saved you a plate of food if you are hungry. I will be waiting at a table, so you can maybe take a shower and all ?" - "Yeah... thanks..." - "Don't make me wait too much, okay ?", she joked awkwardly before taking her leave, feeling completly ridiculous afterwards. If only she could have seen Koga slightly grinning at her tone.

(Y/n) happily made her way back to the main building. She couldn't wait to see him enjoying his meal. Seeing people happy like that always made her heart warm. She lived for these moments.

She immediatly put the plate of food into the microwave as soon as she entered in. Then picked it from the warming device and put it on the table, across from the spoon she also saved for him, then waited.

Koga came back not long after she left. He was now dressed like he used to the first time she encountered him. She realized she really like his blue baseball jacket.

"Thanks for saving me a plate, I'm so hungry right now.", he started as he took a sit in front of her. 'I-In front of me ?! Way to awkward... !!' - "Y-You're welcome !", she answered, a bit stressed out, "I-I thought you would certainly be hungry after all that training..."

Koga only looked at her suspiciously as he started to eat his meal. 'She is way too kind, that's weird. She must be hiding something.'

'Why is he staring at me like that ? Did I say something weird ?'

His green gaze only hardened at her visibly panicked self.

"Can you stop looking at me like that ? I feel like I did something wrong !", she let out, unable to ignore it anymore. - "I just thought you were way too kind to me for someone I just met.", he admitted, taking another full spoon of curry. - "Heh ?", she continued, startled by his answer, "What's wrong with being kind ?" - "I don't know. It's just that people usually don't act like this without having some shitty idea in mind." - "Indeed, I see what you are talking about. But I'm not thinking about something "shitty" at the moment, no need to worry.", she smiled at him, making him blush slightly. - "If you say so...", he finished, avoiding her gaze by looking at his now half-filled plate.

After this, (Y/n) asked him how his training went and learned it was actually his first day of training with Sekibayashi and co. She immediatly complimented him about how well he did which made him grin proudly. He then told her about his training time with Ryuki. (Y/n) acted like she didn't know Ryuki helped him. Koga thanked again the girl in front of him as he finished his dinner. They decided to go head home right away since it was already late.

"So, where do you live ?", asked Koga, walking across the girl. - "Not so far from the Yamashita Trading Co.'s office. You ?" - "I'm living with Yamashita, his son and Ryuki, actually." - "Really ?!" - "Yeah, he offered me to stay since I had nowhere to go around here. Same for Ryuki. Yamashita is such a nice guy." - "I agree ! And he's so nice to be around !", exclaimed (Y/n) with a smile, "Does he lives far from the office ?" - "Not at all. It's only a 10 minutes walk away from it, I think ?" - "Hum, I see ! Oh, here we are !"

The Yamashita Trading co.'s office was just meters from them now. (Y/n) ran straight to her motorcycle, checking for any scratching. She sighed in relief as she noticed nothing missing or damaged. Koga walked to her, dumbfounded.

"Is it yours ??" - "Yeah, you like it ?" - "I do. It looks cool.", he admitted, looking away from her.

(Y/n) giggled at his behavior. "Do you mind if I ride you home ?", she proposed, "I always have a second helmet in store so don't worry !" - "Really ?!", Koga asked, eyes filled with excitation, "That would be so cool !"

The young woman smiled at his impatience as she took her two helmets from the little trunk under her seat. She handed one to Koga who gladly put it on.

She was now sitting on her motorcycle, waiting for Koga to sit behind her. "Are you coming or what ?" - "Oh yeah, sorry !"

He quickly took his sit as he awkwardly looked at her waist. 'It would make this very awkward, isn't it ?'

(Y/n) looked at him from aside, now understanding why he was taking so long. "There is some kind of metal bar you can hold on just behind you.", she informed, secretly glad he didn't try to hold onto her waist. - "Oh, thanks...", he awkwardly answered, "You can go ahead, I will show you where to turn at when needed." - "Okay ! Let's go !"

The ride only lasted a few minutes but (Y/n) could feel Koga liked it. He suddenly pointed to the house on his right. 'So this is Mister Yamashita's house. Pretty casual for a CEO if you ask me...'

"Thanks a lot, that was a really cool ride.", Koga thanked her as he put off his helmet and stood up from the two wheels engine. - "The pleasure was mine.", smiled (Y/n) as she took the helmet from him, "Sleep well, you need a lot of rest to be able to train well tomorrow."

Her comment made him grin as he gave her a thumbs up, "Don't worry, I got this ! See ya !"

She waved at him silently before taking her leave. She thought about how fast they got along today. She didn't regret waiting for him that night. 

Not at all.

[abused-sides]

They Got Janus [Whumptober 2020]

Note: I’m doing whumptober as a series. Check out the tag #whumptober 2020 v on my blog to read in order. Also on ao3.

Prompt: No. 9: For The Greater Good [Run!] 

Synopsis: The cult catches up. 

Trigger warnings: Cults, gaslighting/manipulation, restraints, kidnapped, non-con, humiliation, treating people like property, blood, knives, violence/beatings, a person in a cage, guns, body horror/gore, reference to murder/hate crimes/child death/minor character death, vomiting, burn scar mentions and brief descriptions, let me know if I missed anything 

Word count: 1745  

September 30th. 11.24 pm. 

“We need to stop soon,” Roman mumbled. 

Janus shook his head firmly, gripping the steering wheel. His good eye was lidded, the one covered in burn scars closed. “Not yet. We’re not far away enough.”

“He’s right,” Logan said gently. He looked at Janus from the passenger seat. “We can’t keep going on like this. Nobody’s gotten any proper sleep since we left, we’ve been on the road for a week… We can stop for one night. We’re not even in the country anymore. We need to rest. No use getting this far just to go in a car wreck.” 

Janus tapped his fingers sporadically. “Okay, fine. Where’s the nearest motel? We’ll stay for a few hours and leave at sunrise.” 

Logan used the map to direct Janus to a motel. Their legs nearly buckled as they piled out of the car. 

“Should we ditch this?” Patton whispered in panic. “It was risky enough taking it across the border, I feel like we should steal another, or just go on foot.” 

Roman wrapped his arm around Patton’s waist and held him close. “Stop worrying, love. We can decide in the morning. Right?”

Logan nodded. “Right.” 

They hobbled into the office. The girl at the front desk looked up from her laptop and whistled. “You’ve been on the road for a while. How many rooms?” 

“One,” Janus said quickly. 

She nodded, swiveling her chair over to the company’s computer. “We’ve got two beds at most, you okay with bunking up?” 

“Yeah,” Patton said softly. “Just one room, please.” 

“That’ll be one-twelve.” 

Everyone fumbled for their pockets, pulling out a wallet or a few bills. “I’ve got twenty,” someone mumbled, someone else saying, “Here, this is a fifty.” 

The receptionist stared at the pile of cash they wrangled up, a few dozen short of the room cost. She forced a smile and set it in the register. “Thank you. Here you go.” She handed Janus the key. 

Janus blushed as her hand closed over his. He met her eyes. “Thank you. I’ll get this back to you in the morning.” 

The four of them immediately crashed onto the closest bed once inside. Janus wrestled out of his jacket and tossed it to the floor, rolling over to cuddle into Patton’s stomach. Patton ran his fingers through Janus’ hair with a giggle. 

“Someone needs to keep watch,” Logan pointed out. 

Janus reluctantly sat up. “I got it.” 

Roman shook his head. “No, no, you’ve driven more than any of us. Let me get it.”

“I can find some food.” Logan stood and picked up Janus’ jacket, shrugging it on. 

“With what money?” Janus laughed. “We just spent it all on the room.” 

He shrugged. “I’ll figure it out, no worries. I saw a gas station not too far from here, I bet I can smuggle some packaged things in these big pockets.” 

“Just be careful,” Patton sighed. “We’ve already got the car, I really don’t want anyone arrested, especially not out of country.”

He pulled the door open with a grin. “It’s Canada, what’s the worst they’ll do? I’d rather be arrested here than back in the States.”

“I’d rather be arrested here than be in the States,” Janus grumbled as he laid back down. 

Patton pulled Janus’ head into his lap and stroked his hair. “Just be careful.” 

Logan left, and Roman pulled himself to his feet with a heavy sigh. He curled up on one of the hard dining chairs and flicked on the T.V.��

“Love?” Patton asked softly. “Are you okay?”

Roman quickly wiped his eyes and kept his gaze on the screen. “Just wish Remus was here.” 

Janus swallowed. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I tried.”

He flicked his gaze to Janus. “It’s not your fault,” he said seriously. “We all tried convincing him. He’s just… Broken. There wasn’t anything we could do to convince him to come.” 

“Do you want to come here with us, Ro?” Patton asked. 

He shook his head. “No, I don’t want to risk falling asleep. You should get some rest, though.” 

Patton coaxed Janus to the sheets and laid next to him. Janus curled into his arms and held him back tightly, nuzzling into his shoulder. Janus fell asleep as soon as he closed his eyes. 

October 1st. 12:03 am. 

“I have to stretch my legs,” Roman said after about twenty minutes. He stood, his back cracking in several places. 

“Yeah, that’s not a bad idea,” Patton mumbled. He climbed out of bed as carefully as possible. Janus didn’t stir. “We can stand outside for a moment, wait for Lo to get back.”

Roman came over and took Patton by the hips, kissing him sweetly. “I love you,” he whispered. 

Patton’s face flushed red, his eyes watering. He cupped Roman’s face in his hands and smiled. “I love you, too.” 

They stepped into the freezing night air. Patton spread his arms out with a happy sigh, eyes fluttering shut. 

Roman kissed his cheek. “I think I’m going to talk to the receptionist for a bit. Try to… Think about something else, you know?”

Patton nodded. “I’ll wait right here, let you know if I see anything.” 

Roman crossed the empty parking lot to the office and disappeared inside. Patton leaned against the wall by the door and laughed as a light drizzle started. It quickly grew into a heavy pour, and part of Patton worried about Logan and whatever he was doing, but he was so happy to be outside and feeling it that he didn’t care. 

His grin faded. Lightning struck in the distance as dread filled Patton’s stomach like water in a sink. His eyes watered as he ducked behind a set of trashcans. 

Coming out of the treeline in a crouch was undeniably Styx, surrounded by ten other members Patton just barely recognized. If it wasn’t for Styx at their head, he wouldn’t have recognized them at all. 

He glanced back at their motel room. Janus was asleep, and it’s not like they knew which room he was in. Roman was in the open. 

He hurried down the pathway, heart slamming as he stayed in the shadows. He circled around the office building and peeked around the corner. Styx and his friends spilled into the parking lot, looking around carefully. Patton waited for a moment when none of them were looking in his direction and sprinted through the open door. 

The lights in the office were off. He shut the door as quietly and slowly as possible, breathing laboured. 

“Roman?” He whispered, not daring to straighten up. 

“Patton?” Roman poked his head around the counter. 

“They’re here,” he panted, crawling over to him and the receptionist. “They’re here. They might have Logan, I don’t know.”

“Where’s Janus?” Roman whispered. 

“He’s safe. Still asleep. How are we supposed to get away?” 

“What the hell is going on?” The receptionist whispered, holding the phone to her chest. 

“Listen, just…” Roman swallowed. “My friends and I need to get out of here, just stay hidden and tell the police you’re in danger.”

She nodded slowly. “Okay. Okay. Uh- Wait.” She handed Patton the phone, the operator’s panicked voice coming through. 

“We’re here,” Patton whispered, “we’re still here, quiet down, please?”

“Are you hidden?” 

“Yes, we’re hiding, but- But we have to go.”

“That is highly unadvised, please stay where you are-”

“We can’t. There’s too many of us, and our friends are still out there. Please just get here and make sure the girl stays safe.”

The receptionist carefully raised and popped open the register. She pulled a handful of bills out and crouched. 

Roman frowned as she shoved the bills at his chest. He counted them quickly. “This is one-fifty.” 

She smiled nervously. “Didn’t you pay one seventy-five for the room? Fifteen dollar cancellation fee.” 

He hesitated. “Thank you,” he whispered. “Thank you. How- How do we get out of here?” 

She reached into one of the shelves inside the counter. Patton gasped as she pulled out a silver handgun and held it out. “Take this. Go out the back. If you go straight through the trees, you’ll make it to the main road. The closest town isn’t too far away, if you can make it there, you should be fine.” 

“What about Janus?”

Roman shook his head and took the gun. “We can’t risk drawing any attention to him. He’s safer where he is. Let’s just get to the road, and we’ll come back later, after the police show up to meet back up with him and Logan.” 

Patton sniffled and nodded. “O-okay. Stay safe.”

The receptionist smiled. “I will. Go.” 

Roman and Patton snuck out the back door, Roman in the lead with the gun. Patton’s heart thumped so fast he wanted to throw it up. 

Roman froze, and Patton nearly slammed into him. “Oh my god,” he whispered. 

“What?” Patton looked around in panic. His heart stopped. 

They were everywhere. Styx had brought a dozen more people, and they infected every corner of the motel, coming towards them in all directions. 

“Go!” Roman hissed. “Run!” 

Patton sprinted past him, and screamed as a gunshot popped through the air. It was so loud Patton’s ear rang. Footsteps raced behind him, catching up quick, and Patton sobbed as he picked up the pace. 

He screamed again as a hand clamped down on his. 

“Shh, shh, come on!” Roman tugged him faster. 

Patton nearly tripped as he stumbled after him. The cult’s stomping gradually lost its volume, and once the two bursted out of the treeline and onto the main road, it was completely gone. Patton tugged Roman hard enough for his shoulder to pop as he almost jumped into the road, a truck flying past. 

Patton’s shoulder exploded in dull pain but he held Roman all the same, gripping tight and sobbing into his shoulder. 

“They got Janus,” Roman panted. He was barely breathing. “They got Janus. I don’t know where Logan is. I don’t- I don’t know.” 

Patton pulled back and wiped his face. “We- We’ll just wait for the police to get there, and then-”

Roman shook his head. “N-no. They can’t help anymore. I- I shot one of Styx’s friends, there’s about four different ways that’s illegal and self defense won’t get me off on all of them. We’re not even registered in the country.”

“Then what are we supposed to do?” Patton asked incredulously. 

“I don’t know.” Roman gripped the gun and sniffled, chest heaving. “I don’t know.”

Kofi and commissions, 1 coffee = 300 words of your prompt  

[one-leaf-grimoire]

“triad”

Chapter 10: the nightmare

Chapter ten, yay!!!!

Slight warnings: The main character goes through a LOT of self loathing, and has a brief suicidal thought. Also, there's like a slightly sensual implication... you'll see. Nothing too weird I just wanted to preface it with this warning.

AO3 link

“Preparations should be complete within a month. We’re gathering our best Spirit Guardians to train your Knights, and I promise that we will produce major results!”

The Heart Queen is a pretty young woman, who looks about as old as I do, her figure adorned in fine cloaks and medallions. A beauty spot beneath her lip completes her look in the most regal fashion possible. Seeing her sends a chill down my back, even though we only ever meet through a screen. The sight of the crown atop her head makes mine look a little lackluster in comparison. But none of that matters right now.

“Thank you, Lolopechka! You’ve really gone above and beyond for us.” 

Lolopechka smiles gently out at me and shakes her head. “No, you’re the one who will be helping us.”

“We help each other… that’s what allies are for, right?” I smile up at her before turning to the others. All nine captains are here to listen to Lolopechka’s update. “In a month, please have some candidates in mind for the training. They should be the people with the most potential to move up to the 1st or 2nd stage.”

The stage system was a little confusing at first, but it didn’t take long for me to accept it as the best way to rank our magical abilities. My flame magic alone was close, if not already at stage 1. And my Dyad magic, of course, is Arcane. Arcane mages are those whose powers could probably defeat a devil already. But that’s not an excuse for me to slack off. 

The worst outcome of this situation is that the Spade Kingdom defeats everyone we send at them. We have no idea about any of Megicula’s powers except the fact that it can set curses on people. If Megicula is much stronger than we realized, then our knights will have no defence against the unknown. I’m hoping to stay out of the actual fight and command from afar. But if Megicula and the Spade Kingdom come knocking at our door…

There’s a very real chance that I’ll have to fight it myself. While being seven months pregnant. 

So… I need to be strong enough to survive that battle. It might be difficult, but I have to…

I pick my hand off of my stomach, where it had been laying all this time, as I stand up after the meeting ends. 

For me… for Julius.

And that leads me to this moment, a moment I’ve been dreading this whole meeting. Each of the captains says goodbye, filing past me and out into the corridor. I smile and nod at each of them, but extend my arm to stop the last woman from passing.

“Dorothy… do you have a few moments?”

.… oh god… this is going to go badly, I already know it…

“Hmm? Yes, of course!” Dorothy stops in her tracks, bouncing a bit as she turns to look up at me. I’m not the tallest, but somehow I almost have to bend over to look her in the eye. The small witch has been awake for the last few meetings, a pleasant contrast to her usual slumber. She has a cheery, bubbly personality, and a smile that almost forces my anxiety out of my mind.

Almost.

“There’s… something I wanted to ask.”

…

Dorothy blinks up at me, her smile only fading slightly when she catches a glimpse of my worry through my face.

“Your dream magic… it allows you to create anything within your Glamour World, right?”

Oh god oh god.

This is going to sound bad, I know it. But I’m on my last straw. The meditation training has gone nowhere so far, only making me stress out more and feel hopeless. 

“Yeah! Anything I want… I can even manifest things from your mind, if you go in there. Why do you ask? Do you need me to simulate something for you?”

I’m scared of the future. Not just for me, but for the Kingdom. Each day goes by smoothly, too smoothly, and gives me too much time to worry about the war looming on our horizon. People could die, my friends could die, civilians could die. If there’s any information about the Devils laying in the Simulcian’s past, I’m sure it will help us.

Because, I know… if anyone dies, it will be my fault. I’m the Wizard King, and I promised that I would protect this Kingdom with every ounce of my life.

Every… single ounce.

If my death leads to our victory… I will accept that.

“Can you… let me see Julius?”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last night, Adeline and I stayed up late, trying our best to clear my head and sink into the meditative state I crave. As the hours passed, it got harder and harder, until I was afraid to close my eyes for even a moment.

“Maybe… I know why it’s been so hard for you.”

I can remember how it felt as she held me, my body giving out and exhausted. I wanted to cry, to let all my emotions out, but I couldn’t.

“My grief, right?”

Grief. 

No, it’s something more than that. More than loss, more than emptiness. Something I don’t have words to describe. Yet, it’s a feeling that’s distinctly human. And maybe that’s why I can’t bring myself to emote, why I can’t let my emotions show. Because I’m not human.

Why… why did Julius leave this to me? His Kingdom full of humans, left to someone who will never truly care about the affairs of humans?

It was then that the tears started to fall.

How… how can you expect me to be selfless? How can you expect me to be able to protect them?

I want to protect them, I want nothing more than to die for them. To die just as Julius did, to save countless people and igraine myself as a martyr for all time.

But… I could never do that, right?

“I…

I hate myself.”

The words are sour in my mouth. Foreign. All my life, all I could ever feel towards myself was love. I loved myself, more than almost anything. But that was because Julius loved me, right? And his soul loved me too… 

But now, that love has faded, extinguished from this world along with his life.

“I hate myself… I hate myself…”

I could hardly feel Adeline anymore, her words falling onto my deaf ears.

For a brief moment, I looked down, into the void. And it consumed me.

It’s a curse, right??? The Dyad’s curse. I flew too close to the sun, and got used to the warmth of its rays. And when I fell back to earth… there’s nothing but the cold.

Nothing. Not the Kingdom. Not Adeline. Not my friends. Not even the baby. And not myself.

I’m the worst… the most selfish person in this world. I stole this position from people who deserved it more than me. 

I’ll never be able to be like Julius… never… never…

So… what’s the point?

Why even try, if there’s nothing to build even the foundation of hope upon.

“I… I want…”

I want to die-

Fortunately, those words don’t pass my lips. I just cry into Adeline’s shoulder as we sit on the floor of my bedroom. Julius’s cold, empty robe lays folded by my pillow like it always has.

“Grief is hard, I know that. I can’t even begin to imagine how it must feel.”

Adeline’s voice vibrates pleasantly through her chest as I lay my head against it.

“But… maybe what you need is closure. Do you have any idea how to get there?”

Closure… 

Without closure, I’ll never be able to move on, and be strong for the Kingdom. The ultimate enemy I need to defeat isn’t Megicula; it’s me. If I can’t get over my weaknesses, I’ll never be able to protect anyone.

But how am I supposed to get closure.

If only… there was a way to talk to him again. 

Wait…

There is a way. 

Oh no…

-----------------------------------

“...what?!”

Dorothy’s eyes blow open wider in shock as my words sink in. She opens and closes her mouth a few times before coming to her senses. “I… I don’t know if that’s a good idea…”

“I know, I don’t think so either.” Embarrassed, I avert my eyes, feeling my chest start to tighten. “But… it might help.”

That’s right… for the good of the kingdom, I have to feel better. And if this has the slightest chance of making me feel better, I have to try it!

“Look…” I turn back towards her as I feel her dainty hand gently touch my arm. Dorothy’s cheery aura is gone, concern straining her eyes as she stares up at me. “It might make you feel worse.”

… I know that. But I don’t think I could feel any worse than I do now.

“Please… Dorothy…”

I look down at her with pleading eyes.

She stares up at me for a long moment, then lets out a defeated sigh. “Fine… but I’m not going in there with you.” She reaches down and takes out her Grimoire. “Is thirty minutes okay?”

I nod quickly, giving her a relieved smile. “Yes, that’s perfect… thank you so much.”

“My pleasure.” Something tells me that she doesn’t really mean that. Dorothy gives me one more look before clearing her throat. “Here we go… Dream Magic: Glamour World.”

A puff of mana, and the meeting room disappears. I blink my eyes a few times as the scene fades in. It’s whimsical, with clouds and sparkles of pink and purple floating through the air. “Wow… this is Glamour World?” I turn around in place, my feet standing firmly upon their own cloud. I’ve never seen this spell purposely, and am not entirely sure how it works. But this is a landscape created for me by Dorothy, specifically for me. And soon…

“Darling! There you are!”

Up until this point, I was nervous and anxious, yes, but also almost giddy at the thought of seeing Julius again. I was sure that seeing him would give me the closure I needed. If I had to, I could return to this place again and again, satiating my need for him even if it was a synthetic remedy. But the moment I hear that voice, his voice… 

My blood runs cold.

Slowly, I turn around, and see a man walking towards me. Tall, blonde, handsome, with a smile that could light up an entire room. One that could light up an entire dark life. 

And yet…

I can’t bring myself to smile, or even move, as Julius runs to my side, his arms immediately pulling me into a bone-crushing embrace. After a moment, I hesitantly hug back.

This is… wrong…

He pulls back to smile down at me. His eyes still sparkle like they did in life, his unbridled joy plain upon his face. I can’t even resist smiling back, even if I can feel my heart skinking.

Because, even if I can see him, and touch him… it’s not him. The only parts of Julius truly left on this world are a shard of a soul and a baby in my belly. This thing… it isn’t him.

“It’s been far too long…” He smiles gently, but it still breaks my heart. Julius’s hand comes up to cup my face. “You’re the Wizard King, right?”

I blink a few times, then nod slowly. Julius laughs heartily, his eyes closing for a moment. “Well, then, you have a lot to tell me! I want to hear all about it… but not now.”

There’s nothing I can do but stand there, petrified, as Julius leans in, his other arm snaking around my waist and pulling me closer. 

“There’s so much that I want to do with you… now that we’re together again.”

Oh… Julius…

His lips hit mine in a hurried kiss, as if he knows this moment is fleeting, something that will never last, something that will just make the world even worse than it already is. But there’s no way he knows that; he’s just an illusion, a broken dream, despair disguised as hope.

This is…

The clouds turn dark purple, like the sky before a storm. The void grows a little bigger.

But despite that, I close my eyes, and cling to his body like it’s the only thing real in this world. I kiss him back with all my might, giving into my desire, into the temptation and selfishness that threatens to destroy everything. 

... a nightmare.

“Darling?”

“Hmm?” 

I open my eyes to see him staring down at me with worry. His thumb comes up and brushes something off my cheek; a tear.

“Are you alright?”

I can feel his skin against mine now. His heat. But it’s cold.

“Yeah… I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Julius… please… keep going.”

Twenty minutes later, and we still lay there together in the clouds. I still hold him, and he holds me. 

This is just like every night we spent together… every night I slept in his arms, heard him snore away in his sleep. Forgotten sounds, sounds that echo like a curse in my soul…

“So… how is it? Being Wizard King?”

Julius is just making idle conversation, moving between subjects aimlessly. But the words Wizard King draw my attention. I look up to see him tilt his head to the side curiously, eager to hear. “Not as easy as it seems, hmm?”

“Yeah…”

Not as easy…

“It’s too much paperwork… not enough fighting! Although, I bet you’ll be doing plenty of that soon.” Julius giggles to himself. “But you’ll be great, I know it.”

“... I don’t know…”

“Hmm?” Julius frowns, his smile only fading slightly. “Why wouldn’t you? I picked you, didn’t I?” Julius reaches out and slides his hand over my head, a pat meant to be comforting, but I almost wince.

Only ten more minutes… I just want this to end. 

“...you…”

Thick tears start to bubble up in my throat.

“...made a mistake… I…”

The volcano erupts. My hands desperately try to cover my shame as the tears fall, my body racking with sobs.

Fuck… FUCK THIS!

I want it to end. This nightmare- no- this life. 

But I can’t… I’m trapped…

“Darling! Ah! What is it?! Mistake!?” Julius’s hands rub my shoulders as he frantically speaks, just as he always did in life. “My sweet, you’re not a mistake! You- AH, I’m sorry! This is something I said, right? Hey, look at me-” His hand tries to grab my chin and gently make me look at him. “How do I make this right-”

“You can’t!”

I bat his hand away and sit up, his face blurry through the veil of tears in my eyes. Anger, frustration, emptiness, it’s finally all coming out, every emotion I had been suppressing until now.

“You can’t make this right… you’re dead!” I cover my face again, not wanting to look at him right now. “You… you died, remember?! And that’s why I’m in this mess! You…” I clench my fist, my hands dropping to my shoulders so I can hug myself. “You died… and left me alone…”

It’s a curse… I’m all alone. 

“Darling-”

It’s because of you… that I hate myself. Because…

“I’ll never be a good Wizard King… I don’t want to be a good Wizard King. I just- I can never do what you did, Julius.” 

My nails start to dig into the flesh of my hand.

“Y-you… why...”

My voice weakens, then sharply erupts again with my next words.

“Why?! Why did you tell me that you loved me more than anything?! Why would you say that, then die for the Kingdom?!”

He loved me more than he loved the Kingdom, yet he sacrificed that love for it.

He can’t answer me. I know he can’t. He’s not Julius. He doesn’t have the answers. But I keep asking anyway, desperate to let the questions out and relieve myself of their frustrations.

Julius died… he didn’t have to die, but he did. He refused to kill Patri, he refused to save himself. A selfless act, and yet…

I can’t look at that act with anything but bitterness. Because now I know, I wish he had let it burn. 

It doesn’t matter how many people died… it doesn’t matter who was hurt. All that matters is that we were together. Yet, he betrayed that promise… he betrayed me. 

But he was right.

Julius had no choice but to die. He had no choice but to give up on his love, right? But the thing that makes me feel the worst…

“If I had been there… in your shoes…”

I would have done the selfish thing. I know it.

I take a deep, shuddering breath. It’s quiet. 

“And now… because you’re gone… there’s nothing left for me.”

I relax my hand, looking down at my palm. Blood trickles out of the cuts I accidentally clenched into the skin.

“I… I wish I could have died with you.”

For some reason, saying those words…

It feels good.

I’m the Wizard King, yet I’m the most selfish person in the Kingdom. 

That’s it… the thing I hate most about myself.

“This world is so empty without you… there’s nothing but the memory of your love.”

My voice starts to strengthen again. I let out a breath through my nose, and my eyes close.

“I… I want to destroy it.”

There…

“A world without you… I don’t want it to exist.”

The tears that flow now aren’t hot and angry. They’re cool… almost refreshing.

I said it… I admitted it…

“I want to destroy this world, along with this emptiness. I want to erase it all.”

The words hang in the air, no one around to hear but Julius’s image.

And somehow… I smile.

Why… nothing’s changed.

But… I said it. 

Were those words weighing me down this whole time? Maybe, my obstacle was never my grief, but my self loathing, brought on by an annoying, intrusive thought.

I’m selfish… I know that. I’m not human. I know that. I’m evil…

No. There’s no such thing as evil.

And anyway… Julius knew all this about me. And… he still loved me.

For the first time, I feel a pulse of warmth from within me.

His soul… stirring.

“Darling…”

I feel a hand on my chin, and this time, I don’t resist. I let him draw my gaze back into his. My eyes widen a bit when I realize that he’s been smiling at me this whole time, a relieved, almost comforted smile, despite everything I just said.

“Do you really think… my love is that weak?”

“...huh?”

His eyes close for a moment, as if he’s amused by my confusion. “Listen… My love still exists in this world. And it’s so strong, it will linger for eternity.” His thumbs come up and start to wipe away more tears. “It’s out there… I promise.”

Julius leans in, one last time, as the scene starts to fade away and I’m drawn back into the real world.

Somehow… I know that I’ll be able to face it a little stronger than before.

Maybe this isn’t the closure of my grief. It’s closure for myself.

Because, what am I? 

I’m not human… I don’t even know if I’m a simulcian.

I’m a soul, a soul whose ego has been shattered again and again. A girl who wants nothing more than to give in to the temptation of destruction. 

But… now I know… despite that, Julius loved me more than anything. He died for duty, but his love lingers on.

“You just have to find it.”

I will…

I’ll find it, Julius.

And for the first time in weeks, hope blooms in my chest.

Next time!!! Chapter 11: the curse. A second decent into the Simulcian unconscious reveals something sinister: the Dyad's curse runs much deeper than anyone ever thought.

[nightashes]

The Storm in the Music Room

A/N: My secret santa gift for the amazing @starsinger now formatted for tumblr!! I was so excited to share this! And now I’m so excited that it’s time for the reveal! Also, I think it’s hilarious that a Night was matched up with a Star. 

Summary: Virgil Storm is violent protector, snarky rebel, and talented pianist? Logan is shocked to find the school's tough guy playing the piano.

Ao3 version - writing masterlist

The halls looked eerie in the low light. The usually harsh fluorescent light bulbs were only half-lit as Logan strode past the locked classrooms and silent stairwells. Debate club had ended an hour earlier but as treasurer, Logan had stayed behind with the other club officials, both of them seniors. And now Logan was heading to the Junior parking lot... alone. He was not concerned or nervous. Sure, the school seemed like a whole different world at night. But Logan knew that in actuality it was still the same building. Same floors. Same lockers. And the same… well everything. Just empty. Silent. And slightly darker. But really nothing to be concerned about. Nothing at all. Except. What was that?

A soft melody, lilting and sweet drifted from the music room. The room Logan just so happened to need to pass by before he could reach the parking lot. And really, what harm could be done from taking a peek inside? Passing by the small windows set in the doors, Logan slowed to a stop. Peering through the wired glass to see a student hunched over the piano. His hair was dark and long, hanging past his eyes as he bent his head over the keys. His fingers glided across the keys, long and slender. His lips were pursed and his eyes intent. And Logan was captivated. This solitary figure was unforgettable. The threadbare hoodie decorated with plaid purple patches. The smeared eye shadow beneath those intense hazel eyes. And the black stud earrings meant this could only be one person. Virgil Storm. Violent protector. Snarky rebel. And a talented pianist? Logan stared dumbfounded.

Virgil Storm. Logan had stumbled across Virgil Storm, the guy who egged a teacher’s car in his sophomore year for calling his friend a pathological liar. That Virgil Storm was playing the piano with all the gentleness and care one would give to a long forgotten but still beloved toy from one’s childhood. The dulcet tones filled the air with a feeling of longing and love and loss that thrummed through Logan’s soul. And Logan was rooted to the ground completely entranced by the way the notes wove a tapestry of a world that was finally remembered after being long forgotten. The keys dancing beneath his hands, the same hands that knocked a student out in his freshman year for bullying Remus Prince for eating glue. That Virgil Storm was now sighing as his hands slowed to a stop. A soft smile spread gently across his face as he laced his hands and stretched his arms up and back. His head falling back and arms releasing, falling softly to his sides. Logan was past speechless. Virgil Storm was the kid no one crossed. He was fiercely loyal and not afraid to break the rules to prove it. And now he was staring at Logan.

Oh crap. He was staring at Logan. Crap. Logan scrambled back from the door. His breath quickening as his heart raced. Virgil freaking Storm had caught him staring at a clearly personal moment. Logan was dead. The door swung open and Virgil broke through them silent and fierce. His eyes piercing and his lips turned down into a snarl. He stood there with his arms crossed as he studied Logan.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“I- “ Logan’s voice broke. He swallowed heavily trying to force his heart to calm. Logan started again. “I was merely walking to the Junior parking lot when I heard your music. My curiosity was raised as I could not fathom why there would be someone playing this late. And…” He trailed off as Virgil walked closer. His tall figure setting him in a position to glare down at Logan.

“You were staring.” Virgil stated simply.

“I was merely looking to see-”

“You. Were. Staring.” Virgil broke him off.

“Now, that is twisting-”

“Why?” Virgil leaned down to peer directly into Logan’s eyes. “Why. Were. You. Staring?”

“The music. It was- .” Logan stumbled to explain.

“The music?”

“Yes. Well, it was nice-”

“Nice?” Virgil questioned. Eyebrow raised incredulously.

“Yes. And I was quite shocked to discover you-”

“Me? What about me? What? Don’t think mean ol’ Virgil could play piano?’

“Yes. I mean no. I mean… If you would just stop interrupting me!” Logan nearly yelled as his frustration came close to bubbling over.

Virgil’s snarl grew at Logan’s shout. He arms uncrossing to shove Logan back. “Well, maybe you shouldn’t go spying on people like a creep!”

‘I wasn’t spying!”

“Yes! You Were!” Virgil quickly shouted back.

“I was just! Argh!” Logan screamed in frustration as he shifts his backpack higher onto his shoulder. Taking a large breath through his nose he started again. “I was just heading to the parking lot. So I’ll go now.” He turned before Virgil can respond. Speeding towards the entrance, expecting a biting remark to follow him. But as he reached the doors, there was only silence. Logan refused to look back as he exited the school. Just hoping that Virgil would ignore this whole catastrophe. If Logan made an enemy of Virgil Storm the rest of high school would be torture.

***

There were not many days throughout his life that Logan had dreaded going to school. Tests days were always stressful but manageable. The day he had gone to school without his favorite tie was unpleasant but nothing too difficult. All-in-all school had always been a relatively pleasant experience. He had always managed to avoid drawing the attention of bullies and he enjoyed the opportunity to learn and meet up with Patton. But today. Well, today was different. Logan did not want to go to school. At all. This had never happened. He was even considering skipping. A shudder ran down his spine at the thought. No. No matter what happened today, he was not going to let Virgil Storm ruin school for him. He would go and whatever happened would happen. And he would manage and it would be fine.

This was not fine. Logan had lunch and 7th period Intro to Business with Virgil. Theoretically, if Logan just kept his head down and did his best to avoid Virgil he could make it through the day relatively unscathed. Theoretically, this would work. Practically, 1st period hadn’t even started yet and Logan could feel Virgil’s stare boring holes into his back as he collected his books from his locker. Apparently, Damien Ethos’s locker was one classroom down from Logan’s. Apparently, Virgil hung out at Damien’s locker in the morning. And apparently, he was now using it as an opportunity to terrify Logan with looks alone. Logan was not prepared for this.

“Hey, Lo Lo! Ready for class?” Patton came bounding up to greet him, his hoodie sleeves swinging and his curls bouncing wildly.

“Frankly, Patton, first period could not start soon enough.” He punctuated his statement with a slam of his locker.

“Wait, Logan, is everything okay? Did something happen at debate club last night?” Patton questioned as he followed his friend, his hands tightly gripping onto his books.

Logan’s stride was wide and purposeful as he maneuvered through the lively hall. The cacophony of noise and movement was a stark contrast to the muted atmosphere of the school at night. No music drifted through the air, instead it was replaced by obnoxious jabbering and lockers slamming. And Patton fretting as he rushed to keep up, despite his shorter stature and Logan’s anxiety to get away from this hall and Virgil’s piercing gaze.

Logan scoffs as he slowly slides into a gap to join the group of packed bodies that was a cruel mockery of a line for the stairs.  “Debate club was fine, Patton.”

“Well, than why the sour expression, Mr. Dour?”

Logan groans at the nickname. “Patton, please. I’m not in the mood. I…” He scans the stairs full of students clamoring around them, laughing and gossiping. The tightly packed bodies shuffling past each other. Logan felt positively suffocated. If any of them heard what happened, that Virgil Storm plays piano, it would spread like wildfire. Virgil would find out and know exactly who to blame. No. Logan couldn’t let that happen. “Not right now. Just wait and I’ll tell you everything. Okay?”

Escaping from the stairwell was a welcome relief. Logan breathing easily once again as he glided into German class. Patton following close behind, his dark brown doe eyes asking for information Logan was reluctant to give.

“Logan, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just…” Logan stared around them. There were only three other students that took German III H with them. They had not arrived yet and the teacher was busy at her computer. “Patton don’t tell anyone this, but last night after Debate Club I saw Virgil Storm… he was in the music room playing the piano and it was… incredible. I… But he saw me and he thinks I was spying on him. Patton, I don’t know what I’m going to do. He’s furious with me. He was staring daggers at me just now at my locker. ” Logan whispered frantically to his best friend, hoping for a lifeline of some kind.

Patton tilted his head, biting his bottom lip in thought as he pondered over Logan’s statement. “Virgil wouldn’t hurt you, Logan. I’m sure he was just taken off guard.”

“Patton, this is Virgil Storm we’re talking about. He’s going to get me back,”

“He wouldn’t do that. Honestly, Logan, he’s not that bad. Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him.”

“Talk to him? What do you mean talk to him??”

“We’re Home Ec buddies! He’s actually really sweet. I’m sure if I explain everything he’ll understand.”

“No. Patton, you can’t-” Logan cuts off as Amanda walks in. Waving over to Logan and Patton before settling into the seat across from them. “Patton, please…” Logan practically begs.

“Logan, I don’t want my friends mad at each other. Don’t worry, I know what to say.” Patton settles back confidently. Switching over to greet their classmate.

Logan didn’t know what to say. Patton was his best friend. He should trust him. But this is Virgil Storm he’s talking about. This isn’t someone you just talk to. Logan tried that and it ended with him turning tail and sprinting out of there. Patton may be well meaning but if Logan couldn’t explain it to him, how could Patton? And if Virgil misinterpreted Patton’s intentions it could make the entire situation worse. Logan’s heart beat thunderously against his ribs. He drummed his fingers against his desk. Breathing deeply in and out as he thought through possible solutions. Despite the reasoning behind it being an absolutely dreadful idea, there was a part of Logan that trusted Patton. He cared for his friend and his friend cared for everybody. So Logan bit his tongue. He would let Patton speak on his behalf. If anyone could assuage the anger of Virgil Storm, it would be Patton.

***

In Logan’s opinion, lunch arrived entirely too soon. Not that Logan was worried. He wasn’t. After all, he trusted Patton. And yes, he hadn’t seen Patton since 1st period and knew nothing of the situation he was heading into, but that hardly mattered. He was treasurer of the debate club. He was no fool. He knew how to handle himself. He had prepared talking points. And sure, they may be mostly anecdotal and lacking any real evidence. But he had faced worse odds.

Paying for his meal, Logan turned towards the sea of tables. The bustling students filling the lunch room with a cacophony of sounds that did nothing to soothe his taut nerves. Logan set his shoulders back, his chin held high. A pose of confidence and authority. He was in control. He strode across the linoleum floors, weaving through the buzzing hive of students, straight towards Logan and Patton’s favorite table. It was the one closest to the front doors leading out into the halls. The same hallway that led directly to the music room. The same hallway that Logan had walked down to come across Virgil Storm, school tough guy and secret musician. What had his life become?

Setting down his styrofoam lunch tray, Logan settled down at his table. Watching the lunch room for any sign of his friend or his enemy. He did certainly did not expect to see them together. Patton holding his tray in one hand and Virgil’s hand in his other. Pulling him gently over to where Logan currently sat, have a complete mental breakdown. Virgil’s jaw was set, annoyance was written across his face. He was staring straight at Logan as he allowed Patton to lead him towards their table. This was it. The moment of truth. Logan fiddled with his note cards, practicing his speech over and over in his head.

“Logan! I talked to him!” Patton practically sung as he came to a stop at their table. Plomping himself down into the chair directly beside Logan. He pulled out the one to his left and demanded of Virgil to “Sit.”

Virgil slumped into his chair. Releasing Patton’s hand and his own tray to stuff his fists into his pockets. Shrugging his shoulders as if to disappear from sight. A strange occurrence considering this was the student who was unafraid to talk back to teachers as he saw fit. Logan was confused to say the least. And Patton only made his confusion grow when he turned to Virgil and casually said, “Now tell him your sorry.”

Logan’s jaw was close to dropping when Virgil's clear annoyance dropped away to be replaced with guilt. “Pat.”

“Don’t you Pat me. We talked about this. Logan is my friend.”

Virgil’s heavy sigh of resignation did nothing to prepare Logan for what came next. The dark and stormy rebel looked him straight in the eyes and with more sincerity than Logan would have ever expected from a forced apology (Logan’s siblings always managed to turn them sarcastic) he spoke. “Look, I’m sorry I yelled and shoved you yesterday. I was uncomfortable with the idea that you had been watching me and I might have overreacted a bit. So sorry.”

Patton turned to him, an expectant smile on his face.

“I’m… Thank you for saying that Virgil. And… I know I came off as you say ‘a creep’ but that was not my intention. In reality, I was quite entranced by your talent at the piano.”

Holy crap. Virgil Storm was blushing. This could not be happening.

“Is the sob fest over now? Can we sit down?” A smooth voice spoke from directly behind them. Causing Logan to jump in surprise as Virgil’s entire group of friends settled down at their table.

Virgil Storm’s friends were sitting at Logan and Patton’s table. Did this make him Virgil’s friend? No way. Then again Roman and Remus Prince were now needling Virgil about his blush, while Damien Ethos watched on in clear amusement. In a way, It felt like they had always been there.

“So, everybody, when’s the next band practice? I’ve been practicing really hard.”

“Obviously Sunday, Patton.”

“Oh... I don’t think I can do Sunday.”

“Stop it, Damien, you know he always takes you seriously. It’s Thursday again. Not Sunday.” Roman assured Patton, who perked up immediately at the news.

“Wait a sec. Since when are you in a band?” Logan asked incredulously.

“Oh, not too long. Three? Four weeks? I would have told you, Lo. But Virgil’s a bit shy about it and asked me to keep it quiet. You’re not mad?’

“No… I was just shocked. I never would have pictured you in a band. I didn’t even know you knew how to play an instrument.”

“Well, I didn’t but Roman’s teaching me the drums. I’m not very good.”

“Yes. It’s truly awful that you aren’t a skilled musician after only spending three weeks learning an instrument.”

“Ow ” Damien recoiled after Roman slugged him in the shoulder.

“What did I just say, Damien! You’re doing great Patton. You’re picking it up really fast.”

“Thanks, guys. It’s really fun, Logan. Maybe you can join? We play Jazz!”

“You’re a Jazz band??”

“I play the Saxophone.” Remus somehow was able to say the word suggestively. His eyebrows wiggling playfully.

“Oh, well…”

“You should. It’d be cool if you could join.” Virgil nonchalantly added. His gaze searching Logan’s face. Causing a flush to spread across his cheeks.

“Okay.” He breathlessly replied.

Virgil smiles at him and Logan wasn’t sure what to say. He was going to be in a band with Virgil Storm and he was ecstatic.

By Logan’s calculation, joining the Jazz band was the best decision he could have ever made. And sure, he had initially wanted to play the cello, an instrument worthy of his intellect. But the long rehearsals with Virgil had ended with clasped hands, stolen breaths, and a soft melody that carried them across the expansive world of knowledge and beauty. Logan was pleasantly surprised to discover Virgil’s quick wit. And though he had never managed to persuade his love to join the debate club, Virgil was there at every event to cheer Logan on. Logan often fondly reminisces about Virgil’s first appearance at an event, remembering the aghast expressions of his fellow debaters when Virgil freaking Storm marched straight up to Logan and enveloped him in a hug and a celebratory kiss. Their band was not the best by any means but Logan cherishes every memory and every moment. Even today, as he straightens his bow tie and fiddles with his note cards, he can’t help but be thankful that on that day while passing through the hall, he had stopped to see the storm in the music room.

awesome people to tag: @stop-it-anxiety @rainboots-are-for-snobs @hexatrash @ollyollyoxinfree

[noyasenpaii]

do you write for ships? if you do then can i request for a scenario where hinata tries kabedon on kageyama but gets very embarrassed afterwards cause kageyama is very tall lol

Anon i'm so sorry this took such a long time. Writing for someone else is harder than I thought haha. But anyways thank you for requesting Kagehina 🙊hope you like this😥

KABEDON

Pairing: Hinata Shoyo x Kageyama Tobio

A Kagehina AU! This story takes place 3 weeks after Kagehina's physical fight in season 2.

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Swearing

Wordcount: 2.2k

∘₊✧────✧₊∘

"Kageyama," Daichi Sawamura said as he walked into the club room, taking off his shoes,"Are you feeling okay?" Kageyama tensed up. Nishinoya glanced at Hinata. 'What happened' he mouthed. Hinata furrowed his eyebrows and just shrugged. 

"We don't talk anymore," the boy whispered to his senpai. Since the fight, each passing moment the two 1st years were together, the tension was undeniably strong. Hinata couldn't help but feel responsible for the distance between them, so he always wanted to know if Kageyama wasn’t feeling okay. The guilt was overwhelming… but he just didn't know what to do. He cared too much. No matter what, he couldn't give up on Kageyama. His teammate. 

Even if he thought that way, his actions towards the setter spoke differently. Hinata would lie to get Kageyama out of his sight. He would run away as soon as he saw his signature blue eyes. All he dreaded was another collision. He didn't want another fight.

He sighed. 

Stop thinking about him.

"I'm fine." Kageyama looked away, ripping open his duffel bag. "It's nothing." He said while mercilessly unbuttoning his black school uniform and quickly changing into the white volleyball t-shirt. Hinata started to change while Nishinoya and Tanaka were taking turns drinking from a water bottle. 

"You know," Suga hesitated, "you can always go home early. There's no shame in rest-"

"I SAID I'M FINE." Karasuno froze. Tanaka opened his mouth but Nishinoya stopped him. Kageyama grit his teeth. "Just leave me the fuck alone." He punched his school uniform into his bag and tossed it to an empty spot behind him.

What the heck? 

Just because he's angry, doesn't mean he can be rude. Suga uttered a sad apology and the Karasuno boys left the club room. Hinata narrowed his eyes. Standing up to Sugawara san would be okay, right? 

"Kageyama," Hinata lowered his head, "show some respect."

I don't want another fight but here I am.

The blue haired boy spinned to the origin of the voice. Of course Hinata had a say in this. Of course Hinata couldn't mind his own fucking business. Like a child, unable to keep his hands to himself. Kageyama never felt so annoyed seeing Hinata's face. 

Ignore me like you usually do.

In the corridors, assembly hall, the volleyball court and in between classes, they would act like they didn't know each other. With their eyes looking straight ahead, they would walk past, unacknowledging the other's presence. That is, unless Hinata ran away first. Eye contact to its bare minimum, they were still able to get by during practice. For the time being, they were able to make it work. 

Why can't you ignore me like you always do?

Kageyama sneered. "Says the guy who keeps running away from me."

"Not everyday someone falls down the damn stairs, Kageyama kun." Hinata bit his lip. "We're just worried about you." 

Don't lie. Don't lie to me.

"Worried?" Kageyama bared his teeth. "You call that worrying, Hinata? You say that but you run away every time you see me… you cared so much that you couldn't even stand the sight of me alone?! Staying away from me, keeping your distance from me, ignoring me all the time. What am I to you? Some kind of monster?!" 

Hinata stepped back. 

Does he even know how much he is affecting me? Does he even know how much he is affecting the team just because he wants to do a different quick? An impossible quick just so he can feel better about himself while I'm the one who has to go through all the trouble to practice a fucking falling toss? Does he even appreciate that I'm working so hard just for him?

Kageyama couldn't keep all his emotions at bay. With every second, he felt the frustration deep inside him turn to rage. It was nauseating that Hinata was able to lie that he cared. In a split second, all the rage building inside of him vanished. Fear took its place.

Kageyama's voice trembled, softening. "How long are you planning to keep this up? Until you find someone better who can toss to you like I do? Until you find someone else that you won't...need me anymore?" 

No that's not it.

Hinata looked up to see a glimpse of Kageyama's dark blue eyes glassy. Seeing all the pain written all over Kageyama felt sickening. Seeing this vulnerable side of Kageyama made him feel worse compared to anything he's ever felt before. The overwhelming guilt in his system made him feel responsible for all this hurting. Hinata's whole body quivered, facade breaking into pieces. Tears slipping into every area on his face, Hinata's heart burst from his overflowing emotions.

"Hinata," Kageyama sobbed through his tear stained eyes,"you're shit at showing how much you care." He wiped the liquid running down his face and walked towards the door.

"I just, I don't want to," Hinata choked on his tears. He slumped down, gripping the ground tightly. Kageyama stopped in his tracks. 

If you knew how much I care about you. If you knew the feelings I have for you. If you knew why I chose to keep this distance from you. I just don't want to hurt you.

Kageyama pushed the door handle down, clasping it tightly to keep his tears from falling. Just as the door opened, Hinata slammed it shut. Kageyama turned, his back against the wall, eyes widening.

"I don't wanna see you hurt again, Kageyama kun!"

Badump.

What the hell is this position?

"Everytime you look at me, everytime I see you... there's always this expression you make. Just looking at you makes me want to cry. Seeing you like that," Hinata whimpered, "I don't wanna make you cry, Kageyama. I'm sorry that I ignored you. I'm sorry that I ran away from you. I just didn't want to fight you."

Badump.

"You fucking idiot," Kageyama embraced the boy just so he wouldn't see all the tears rushing out of his eyes. "I fucking hate you! You really *sob* put me through this bullshit and you still can't look me in the eye. I waited so long for you to just say one word to me. One word without you running away from me. I swear to god you didn't want to hurt me by fighting with me and instead you hurt me by keeping your distance from me. Fuck you *sob* Hinata. I will beat the shit out of you, I hate you so much you fucking dumbass!" 

"Why are you being so mean to me," Hinata bawled in Kageyama's arms. "Even when you're crying you're still a big fat bully."

"Fuck you Hinata. Next time use your fucking head and we wouldn't be in this *sob* mess."

"Maybe you should be nicer to me so I won't ignore you anymore."

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY? YOU LITTLE SHIT YOU-" Kageyama pressed his fingers down Hinata's skull, both still a crying mess. 

"Kageyama! I still have things to say you know?!" Kageyama released his fingers from the boy's scalp and Hinata placed his hands on the door, encasing Kageyama in the middle. Hinata felt woozy after Kageyama pressed his pressure point and hugged him. 

Kageyama tilted his head in confusion. 

Does he have no shame? Kabe don twice in a row...I need to step up my game.

"Look I d-didn't mean to do it. I didn't mean to ignore you. It's just if I look at you… if I look you in the eyes I get really scared." Hinata gasped and let go of the door with his hands dangling by his side. His nose turned bright red and he looked down at his hands. 

If only I was taller than Kageyama.

The setter raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I just- I feel like we, um you I mean I really," Hinata sighed. "I can't even look at you." Kageyama huffed, getting impatient. Hinata takes too long.

"Just do it." Hinata stiffened. "Look at me when you have something to say." With a finger, Kageyama lifted Hinata's chin and their eyes met. "See? You can do it." Hinata's heart stopped. His cheeks burned, breath caught short.

Kageyama's eyes are really, really blue.

 A small smile danced on the setter's lips. He finally figured it out. Shortening the distance between their lips, Kageyama guided Hinata's chin with his fingers. He scanned Hinata's eyes for a reaction and smirked. Brushing his lips briefly against Hinata's, he heard a soft groan. 

This reaction only means…

Unable to contain his excitement he whispered in the small boy's ear.

"You're too easy to figure out," he chuckled. 

Hinata blinked.

"That's called sending signals? I can't believe the genius Kageyama Tobio took so long to figure it out." He rolled his eyes while Kageyama looked alarmed.

"What? You never sent any indication-"

"Remember that time where I always wanted to walk you home. Also the annoying 'toss to me toss to me' thing I always do? I'm also weirdly clingy? Seriously? Nothing? Gosh Kageyama no wonder you get bad grades. Your brain's too slow." Kageyama leapt onto Hinata and they fell on the floor. 

"SAY THAT AGAIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT." 

"Oi!" The voice brought the two boys back to reality. "Are you done fighting?" Tanaka opened the door to see the 1st years on the floor. Dumbfounded, he slowly closed the door with wide eyes. "What the fuck," he said and walked back to the volleyball gym.

"Kageyama." Hinata rolled out of his grasp. "If you hated being ignored so much then why did you ignore me too?" They sat down, cross legged facing each other.

"Because you ignored me first. I wasn't gonna lose to you, asshole," Kageyama looked away, knowing well that ignoring Hinata back was childish. Changing the subject was something he wanted to do. "So. Do you like me?"

Hinata gagged on a mouthful of air. Is this guy serious? "Don't be shy Hinata, just spit it out." Hinata scowled at his teammate, unwilling to give up his dignity.

"You first, Kageyama kun." As soon as those words came out of his mouth, Hinata regretted it immediately. An unusual smirk made its way to Kageyama's lips and he began to crawl on all fours slowly towards his teammate. Hinata backed away with his hands. "Kageyama what are you doing?!" 

"I'm giving you my answer," He taunted. "Hinata it's not like I'm gonna hurt you." Gently taking Hinata's hands into his own, Kageyama leaned in. "You want this don't you?" His fingers reached and ran along Hinata's face, caressing his hair down to his cheeks. Ears red, Hinata tried to look away but he couldn't. He wanted Kageyama to touch him a little bit more. 

"Kiss me," Hinata blurted. A soft glimmer sparked in Kageyama's eyes.

"Gladly." Their lips collided softly and he smiled. He never felt so delighted. Tilting his head, Kageyama inserted his tongue and Hinata whined. With his hand on Hinata's neck, he pulled away, beaming. "You're turn."

Hinata's eyes fluttered open. He scratched the back of his head and pouted. "I asked you to kiss me and you still question my feelings." Kageyama yelled at him to stop complaining and just do as he says. Hinata hesitated, still pouting.

"Everytime I look at you? There's this emotion inside me that makes me feel like gwaah? I don't really know how to describe it but it makes me feel- I don't know? Really uncomfortable anywhere near you? Even looking in your eyes makes me feel so scared. It's seriously like? I mean, you know, I'm not stupid enough to not think that I don't? Not? Have a crush… on you? B-BUT that's crazy because I'm not like, I like girls! That's what I'm saying! But I think there's a big, big possibility that I might be- that I might have fell in. No! I mean I might like. Like you. A lot. " Hinata attempted to look in his eyes but chickened out.

"Okay."  Kageyama stood up and walked towards the door, Hinata's words having no effect on the setter.

"Let's go practice. We've spent enough of our time in here." Hinata opened his mouth in disbelief. He followed Kageyama out the door.

"That's your reaction?! No wonder I ignored you for 2 weeks. Kageyama is bo! ring!" Hinata ran inside the volleyball court, picking up a stray ball.

"2 weeks? You're so stupid." 

"Then if you're so smart how many weeks has it been huh? HUH?!"

"3. 3 weeks." Hinata frowned.

"How would I know if that's true?!"

"Because I'm better than you in math, dumbass." Kageyama tossed the ball, perfectly reaching Hinata's point of impact. The ball fit in his palm and Hinata slammed it down on the court. 

"But you still failed didn't you?" Kageyama looked around picked up Hinata by his collar, embarrassed that his senpais were listening. 

"SHUT UP!"

"Ah," Ennoshita sighed, looking fondly at the two first years who were late to practice,"it's so nice to have them back."

"I can't believe I missed their conversations." Suga grinned. Daichi picked up the volleyball behind Sugawara's feet.

"I guess the silence won't bother us anymore."

The Karasuno boys watched as Hinata and Kageyama practiced their new quick, yelling at each other just like usual. With the two troublemakers present, they felt at ease knowing that they finally fixed their relationship. 

"They finally went back to normal." Yachi teared up.

taglist

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