#(because I made this)
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unoriginal joke
#Gravity Falls#Stanley Pines#Stanford Pines#Ford Pines#Stan Pines#shitpost#I put the ID in the little thing tumblr has for it this time because I am still experimenting with which is best wah#This joke has been made before I am sure of it but.
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this shit is the only remaining good part of twitter
#paladin posting my new favorite twitter user#they made the funniest fucking comment on trump but i don’t want to share it because im paranoid#yeehaws#twitter#1k#10k#20k#50k
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in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off
EDIT: reblogs are STAYING OFF. op was right and correct and i have never regretted making a post as much as this one. if you want to reblog my art you can reblog something else from my blog. or commission me, lord knows i deserve financial compensation for the nightmare this post has put me through
#art#i had to block multiple people because of this post and i easily could have blocked more#do you guys have any idea how exhausting it is to hear 400 people make the exact same unfunny joke each thinking they're being original#or worry that another person might get harassed over a post i made because of the way people are talking about them#or be harassed/insulted YOURSELF because some people don't know how to fucking behave#you guys don't get reblogs back. you should be grateful i'm leaving the post up at all.
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I'm always entertained by people doing those "canon VS fanon" memes where both are misunderstanding characters to such a violent degree 'cause like
#sp-rambles#“Canon is when they do not cry nor have emotions whatsoever and fanon is when they sob 24/7”#Like idk buddy I think it Depends#Edit: Since this is getting moderately popular#Yes this was made about Sans but also for TF2#You don't know the hell that is the TF2 fandom and how they treat these characters lol#Because how the hell do you misinterpret such simplistic characters who have like 2 or 3 personality traits each
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#'who was this about' dont worry <3#EDIT hi i didnt realize this would get notes LOL. um everyone reblog with what character ur thinking of because im NOSEY i WANNA SEE#edit 2 to everyone trying to guess what the character i made this for was. youre all wrong. this was about kamen rider#youd think lupin because of my profile picture but alas i have other interests as well...#anis gaymer moments
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That infamous prison escape.
#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#atla fanart#atla art#prince zuko#sokka#atla sokka#atla suki#suki#sukka#boiling rock#atla zuko#zuko art#zuko fanart#sokka art#sokka fanart#suki fanart#suki art#the gaang#the boiling rock#AKA the Cleavage for Everyone ep#I made the terrible terrible mistake of listening to Måneskin while drawing this#What was I THINKING#Anyway they're my dream team#The bestest team ever#Sokka makes plans that never work until they do#Zuko sacrifices himself for Honor™ and said idiotic plans#Suki gets shit done#(And does about 90% of the work because let's be honest those two are a mess)
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"Robin brings light to the darkness" or something
#batman#batfam#batblob#robin#bruce wayne#dick grayson#nightwing#tim drake#red robin#jason todd#red hood#damian wayne#cassandra cain#black bat#only the “legal” children today#fanart#my art#traditional art#only tagging because I need things to be tag correctly on my blogs or I will die#because this is barely art I made it in 10 mins before going to bed
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The math just adds up!
#dungeon meshi#falin touden#marcille donato#farcille#I always loved how chapter 27 ends with them both so bloody and 28 starts with them in the bath.#not just because of how iconic the bathtub moment is but because you know they had to scrap off so much gore first.#I think everyone in the party took a very long and methodical bath but Falin was basically *all* blood*.#Being covered in blood is one of those 'just girly things' that women deserve to stop being shamed about.#I just don't think Chilchuck is progressive enough. He probably made them take a bath first B*/#Okay jestering aside I want to just highlight -#The magnitude of Marcille's joy at seeing her dearest friend again! Of holding her and sharing her presence in the same room!#Something about this reunion feels like a beautiful dream you are afraid of waking up from...
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Mattresses, unbeknownst to many, are a lot like cars. Every year new ones roll out, they’re always tweaking and innovating and you’ll never find the same one you loved decades ago when buying a new one.
Where I sold mattresses had a three month return or exchange program for this reason. New beds take a while to break in, and they’re a big expense. Your body is used to the old one. So we made sure people were loving it. If a bed got returned we’d take it back, sanitize and clean it, then sell it again on clearance.
To sell these we always had to disclose what clearance meant to customers, and they had to sign that they knew what they were getting. (FYI, not every company is as… forthright about the used bed situation)
In clearance we had beds that were floor models, we had returns, and more rarely we had old models whose line had been discontinued. These clearance beds were always final sale, so a bed could only be sold twice.
Now, the manager at the store I was working at had realized a vital fact. Clearance beds in the warehouse didn’t sell, especially old models that salespeople weren’t familiar with. And even more especially in odd sizes, like twin extra longs. So he set up a split king on the showroom floor to exhibit clearance beds, pulling all those forgotten twin extra longs out onto the showroom.
Almost all of these were brand new discontinued models. Beds I’d never learned in training were exhumed to be displayed. The manufacturers had moved on to new lines and they’d been left behind. Why would he take such in interest in selling old stock, you might wonder? Because we made double commission on the sales margin of clearance beds, and if we’d had a bed long enough they dropped the cost in the system so it was a fucking cash cow to sell these. Even with huge discounts the commissions were wonderful so it was a win win.
When I got started I was jazzed about this program, I was so on board to sell weird old brand new beds and make a ton of money. I had a wonderful older couple come in, looking for a split king adjustable set. This was a white whale sale.
The current clearance models on the floor were a latex mattress that was brand new despite being of an age to start first grade, and a tempurpedic floor model. The couple laid down and it was like magic. They each loved the bed they’d laid down on. They wanted to buy the whole shebang.
I. Was. Thrilled. I told them about the clearance program and what that meant, and they weren’t bothered in the least. I wrote up the sale then dashed into the back, fizzing with excitement to tell my manager what I’d done.
“You sold the death bed?!” He asked in delight.
I pulled up short, my smile freezing in place. “What…?”
“Didn’t you check the notes?”
I hesitated for a long beat then slowly shook my head. You see, dear reader, all beds had a personal history. Every clearance bed had logs written up by the person who took the return, as well as warehouse crew after sanitizing. It helped us know what to expect when selling them. “Wasn’t it just a floor model? You said it was a floor model…”
He slowly shook his head. I checked the notes.
It turned out, it had been sold as a floor model. The first time. But the company had made an exception and taken it back as a return two months later. Why? Because it’s owner had passed away.
I stared at the computer in horror and my manager shrugged. “They signed the clearance form. Technically it was a floor model.”
“We know for a fact that a man died in that bed!”
“What they don’t know can’t haunt them,” he said philosophically.
The man came back a week later for more sheets, utterly delighted to tell me how well they were sleeping. I clamped my teeth down around the secret of the deathbed, choosing to let them love their new bed without the stigma. Only one person would be haunted by that deathbed, and it was me.
#ramblies#ffs foibles#that sale was over ten thousand dollars#and I made a thousand dollars in that one sale#I cried about it later because I couldn’t even conceive of making that much money#story#writing#funny
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The Tiger (from the poem by Nael, age 6)🐅
#knitting#knitblr#wip#pattern is The Tiger on ravelry🐯#alright alright. i’ve knit whales. lions. fish. frogs. and now tigers! it’s a whole menagerie in here.#anyways. this one had to be knit because when i was knitting the aforementioned lion. i was also compelled by tiger art so i made myself#a promise to follow up on one day and here that day is.#nael age 6 it’s been a pleasure knitting your prose🫡
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So I got into dungeon meshi and i’ve been telling everyone who I talk to. I love everything about the world, characters, the art, etc.
BUT
People are not kidding when they say that senshi will manifest in your head to tell you to eat better. Like I have a hard time remembering to eat but my brain would be like “you haven’t eaten in some hours, you need a meal” and I would be like you’re very right internal senshi I’m gonna see what I can make. Then I make food??? Honestly Gods sent senshi for helping so many people eat better
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#senshi#I feel like all the people are eating better because of senshi is very indicative of the main message of dungeon meshi#senshi of izganda#I made bread today it was nice
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Funny things I found out playing with language setting in Netflix while looking episode 15:
Chilchuck's scream sounds HAUNTED in brazilian portuguese. Give it a try if you can.
(You can hear it here)
In spanish dub, Senshi says: "tocó mis senos de hombre", which means "he touched my man boobs" in Spanish. And I think that's the best dub line one so far.
#i love replaying certain scenes (usually screams) to see how they nailed it in other dubs#ive done it with Chilchuck & Mickbell screams because they're the funniest ones#give it a shot if you can#its really funny to hear certain character voices in other languages#for example. brazilian portuguesse gave both mickbell and chilchuck un-childlike voices (in japaneese both sound like little childs)#and they reused Chilchuck's japaneese screams for most of the other languages because he is so high-pitched and full of terror that it work#dungeon meshi#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#dunmeshi#delicious in dungeon#senshi#senshi of izganda#senshi dungeon meshi#idk how do you people screen record the episodes#if i knew how to i would put the shots here#my shit#thanks to the one that made the clip on Chil's scream im in love here <3
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#funny talking tag#My favorite thing to do is HC characters as trans but also that they've never heard that term before and act accordingly.#My other favorite thing to do is make characters repressed.#My other other favorite thing to do is make a character go ''I feel like a(n) object/animal/thing pretending to be a man/woman''#''but I don't really care about that right now I have a job''#Anyway while this post can be about whichever characters you feel fit I made this with a certain character in mind.#(Dimentio of SPM fame) (He has something really specific going on that makes me cackle) (You can ask me about it)#(Also Morceau Oleander is a trans woman to me because she would be happier)#(and she deserves to live a life not defined by other's expectations of her)#Someone put a forbidden and ancient curse on this post so no more.
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still thinking about the brainrot that fast fashion has caused in people, like i made this pair of pants that are black and white with a cool flowery design, and an acquaintance saw them and said "wow i'd pay like 20 dollars for you to make me a pair" and i could barely think with how utterly horrified i was at that; i told them that 20 dollars wouldn't even cover the materials, let alone the hours of work that went into cutting, sewing, ironing, hemming, altering, etc. they just had this look on their face when i told them that, when i said i wouldn't make them a pair for even 100 dollars because that was still way too low of an amount, a look that said "you're crazy for thinking that those cost 100 dollars" and maybe i am crazy but holy shit, 20 dollars for a pair of handmade, durable, lined pants fitted specifically to your measurements? 20 dollars for upwards of 60 hours of work? 20 dollars for several yards of high-quality fabric, thread, and buttons? 20 dollars???
#i mean even fast fashion companies charge more than 20 dollars for their shitty sweatshop jeans with exposed seams and standardised sizes#but in this world my acquaintance thought it was appropriate to tell me that my skill and supplies and labour was worth 20 dollars at most#20 dollars is all i'm worth because apparently that is all that my skill and labour and time is worth#like i can't even begin to describe how blindly angry i was at my friend and at the world that made them say that#anyway
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rules for thee and not for me
#sorry the t/rf thing was like an actual roach infestation so I made a new post and deleted the old one and turned off reblogs#but I didn't want you to be without the og comic so here you go guys#nice fresh and clean#old tags ->#funnies#btw you're allowed to watch the silly sisters and the giggle brothers just keep your morals consistent istg#its very embarrassing when you criticize someone for enjoying something from a problematic creator#whilst openly being a fan of another thing with an awful creator and defending them because you like that thing#really weird hill to die on
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Did somebody say Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear? I think somebody said Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear. Thanks to that, have these retooled The Good Place jokes:
The "powers that be" can refer to either the Theraprism staff, the Axolotl, or just. Ya know. Disney in general. Or all three! Whichever you think is funniest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
The "party" Bill's referring to is Weirdmageddon, of course. He was quite the ashhole to everyone back then.
Ford has probably gotten pretty good at the 'tune out your psychopathic ex with dank memes' challenge.
It must be very cathartic to be able to make Bill shut up whenever you want with just the press of a button. I'm sure Ford doesn't abuse this ability at all.
Oh, sure, 'Not now,' he says, before he immediately backs out of the newly-made hole in the Theraprism wall. 🙄
Don't worry, Bill doesn't get far.
also yeah i know this one doesn't have an attempted swear - i just wanted to use the joke because of the massive stink-eye involved in it because it makes me laugh
⬇️ More goofs beneath the brief ramble if you wanna skip it lmao⬇️
Why is Ford even there, you might ask? Well, he either decided he preferred to watch Bill suffer in person over being distantly and repeatedly harassed with the same evil desperation book for the rest of his life, or he got roped into some kind of contrived community service for 1.) all his many counts of interdimensional thievery, and 2.) his ignoring all the very clear warnings to NOT summon Bill in the first place (which I like to imagine is also illegal). Theraprism staff were just like, 'Wait, this guy matters to Bill? Ooh, we can USE that! It might be the only thing that can help him want to get better!' It is not considered that throwing Ford at Bill so soon after Weirdmageddon could instead make them both WORSE - in new and altogether special ways! :D
Anyway, I'm calling it the Community Service AU, and I am most likely not going to do anything else with it beyond appropriating these silly Good Place jokes. So, feel free to adopt the concept if y'all wanna??? Just make sure that Bill is still not allowed to swear, no matter what, full stop. It's gotta be a real linguistic corkblork of a situation for him, is all I'm sayin'.
Finally, have these bonus Good Place jokes, but with Handyman!Bill this time:
'Opposite tortures' doesn't sound so bad...at least until it's an all-powerful chaos entity known for torture saying it.
you may think i forgot mabel's cute pink cheeks but the truth is that i did in fact forget but then immediately stopped caring which makes it okay, SHHHHHHH
And, finally:
lmao this is shit
True facts, if you cram Season 1 Eleanor Shellstrop and Michael into a singular triangle shape, they turn into Bill Cipher. This is science, look it up. Or don't, and just trust the source that is me, bro.
Anyway, I should be in bed, y'all have fun with these, I guess. Tune in after like a week or so and maybe I'll have an addendum to my comic about how Bill was drawn naked for karaoke night. Because him actually being naked was not the only thing I considered as a plausible explanation. XD
Also if you see any inconsistencies or errors in any of these comics, No You Do Not :D
Also also, reblogs are rad as hell and I appreciate every single one, just don't repost, please and thanks. Every time a repost is made, an artist somewhere cries. :,)
#fanart#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#stanley pines#dipper pines#mabel pines#pyronica#handyman bill au#book of bill#the good place#incorrect quotes#heck yeah i'm tagging billford - cuz these old men are EXES#jfc i said i wasn't going to color any other gravity falls stuff i made - and then what do i do?#i fukken color all of it#i may have a problem lmao#the green area outside the theraprism is because i forgot what was outside it and just went 'lol greenscreen idgaf'
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