#(apart from my immediate family of course but i am talking about friends here)

[rapha-reads]

[ilyrafe]

𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒚𝒆𝒕 ✧ 𝒅. 𝒔.

pairing: drew starkey x f!reader

warnings: miscarriage but its so fluffy yall :((

word count: 1.2k

a/n: this is so shitty y’all i’m sorry djfjdk

pls he looks so cute here

when you said you wanted him to enjoy the moment with his family, he thought it was strange, but he didn’t argue. you’ve always understood how close he is to his family, and this moment in his career is important, you want him to celebrate with his parents, siblings, and closest friends.

you’ve only been together for a short time, and you’re not close enough to his family to be at family gatherings, you don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.

“we can celebrate later, just you and me.” you said, sealing your promise with a kiss, before you left his apartment, three days ago.

drew found it strange, but he thought you were just giving him space, which he appreciated. after a lot of family celebration, he went to your place, ready to spend at least a whole weekend, which you loved. there’s so much to talk about.

when you think about it, you didn’t think this thing with drew would go as far as it has been, because his schedule is chaotic and so is yours. when you first met, he was about to go to morocco to shoot outer banks, but he kept texting, calling.

“i know this is kinda all over the place right now, but i wanna see where this is going. do you?”

“i do.”

and that was it. you knew then and there, with only three weeks of dating (online dating for the most part), that you were in love. he’s so sweet, and so silly, too. somehow, you trust him. after being let down so many times, he’s made you feel safe from day one.

you’re not scared to tell him.

you’re on your bed, just waiting for him to get out of the shower. you’re barely paying attention to the tv, you’re just mindlessly scrolling through reels on your instagram, just waiting.

he comes out, shirtless, with damp hair and wearing the sluttiest thing a man can wear - black boxers that fit him just right. he’s such a beautiful man.

“d’you wanna take a picture?” he jokes when he catches you staring.

“you do it on purpose, don’t you?”

“of course i do.”

he gets under the covers and immediately latches onto you, resting his head on your chest. all he really wants is to feel you near him. it turns out, he wanted you with his family. he wanted you there, he wanted to properly introduce you to his loved ones, but maybe you’re not ready and he’ll give you all the time you need.

“i’ve missed you so much,” he says, his voice muffled by your skin.

you smell like french vanilla, and he loves that scent on you. he delights himself in your touch, when your nails lightly scratch his scalp and the nape of his neck.

“i’ve missed you, too. very much.”

he smiles against your skin and takes a long, deep breath, finally allowing his body to relax.

“um… so, i was kind of wanting to talk to you.” you say, trying to sound calm. well, you are calm, but you are also just a tad nervous.

he sits up, no longer relaxed.

“what is it?”

you sigh, look down and extend your hands, as a silent request for his. drew understands and places his hands on yours. your face is serene, but he can tell something is wrong.

“babe, tell me. i knew something was wrong, you were too distant these last couple of weeks.”

you chuckle - you can’t hide anything from this man.

“i’m gonna preface it by saying that i am okay, i am fine, but something did happen, and i’ve debated whether or not i should tell you, and i thought that you deserve to know.”

“you’re scaring me.”

“no, please, it’s… it’s okay. just let me say it all first and then you can speak, okay?” drew doesn’t respond, but you take his silence as a nod. “so, a few weeks ago, i was taking a shower and felt a weird abdominal pain, and then there was blood. i wasn’t on my period, so i got a bit scared and went to the hospital. i had a few tests done and found out… um…” you trail off, because this is surprisingly hard to talk about. he lightly squeezes your hands, encouraging you to keep going. “i had a miscarriage.”

oh.

wait.

what?

“a miscarriage?”

“i didn’t know. the doctor explained that it was common for women to have a miscarriage before even knowing they were pregnant.”

drew is quiet, absorbing the whole information. you were pregnant, and didn’t even know it. you had a miscarriage and he wasn’t there for you.

“why didn’t you tell me? i would’ve taken the first flight back to be here with you.”

“i know you would, that’s why i didn’t.” you explain, kissing the back of his hand right after. “also, i needed to figure it out by myself first. i was shocked to learn through a miscarriage that i was pregnant. it was a lot to process.”

“i can’t even imagine. but… how are you now?”

“i’m okay, i promise. i have one last appointment next week.”

“i’ll go with you.”

“okay. that’d be great, actually.”

he sighs, a bit relieved. at least you’re okay.

“i thought you should know because, well, i was pregnant. and if nothing had happened, i would still be pregnant, and i know it’s early, we haven’t talked about these things and i’m not pressuring you to do or say anything, but i still wanted you to know. felt really wrong to keep this from you.”

“no, you did the right thing.” he says, kissing the back of your hand. “i’m just sorry you went through all of this alone.”

“it’s okay, though. i wanted you to be the first person to know. and maybe the only one. i don’t think we should tell anyone else about this. like, it’d be just… pointless.”

“right. but, uh, if you do want to talk about kids, we can.”

“oh?”

“i mean… i’ve thought about it.” he admits. “i’m the eldest of the family, my mom has already started asking me for grandbabies, she says liliana needs a cousin.” you giggle. “but at the same time, the life i live today wouldn’t be possible with a kid, if i’m honest. i barely have time to sleep, let alone raise a child, and if i’m meant to have kids, i want to be there.”

“when i would think about children, i thought about pregnancy and how i needed to avoid it like the plague during my teenage years,” you laugh. “even when some of my friends got pregnant, i never really saw myself in their position, you know? i guess it wasn’t a priority for me, and still isn’t, but… i’m not ruling it out.”

“i’m not either.”

“so… there’s that.” you shrug, relieved that it all went well. “thank you for listening, i was a bit nervous.”

he nods, completely enchanted by you. he wishes he could navigate difficult topics the way you do. so natural, so easy. you seem to have your shit together and he’s so jealous of that.

“you can always tell me anything.”

“i know.”

“if something like this happens again, tell me. i don’t want you to go through anything bad alone ever again, okay?”

you nod, letting him hug you. oh, you love him.

“we’ll have plenty of time to talk about it and other stuff, too.”

i love feedback! let me know what you think!

[vividraft]

it's always been you

⇢ ˗ˏˋ fem!reader x alhaitham

⇢ ˗ˏˋ summary: even though it seemed like the universe did not want you and alhaitham together, he came to save you in the last second

⇢ ˗ˏˋ important notes: this is a repost from my old account (@/rainstops)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ a/n: ooc alhaitham... i think

old post masterlist tba !

you and alhaitham always got along really great. some people would say that youre the only one who he ever really got a long with. always kind and respectful to you.

kaveh was the first one to notice alhaithams blatant favoritism towards you. whenever he tried to bring it up, alhaitham quickly shut him down. but this time he wasnt going to let that happen.

"so? when are you going to ask [name] out?", he immediately asked when alhaitham walked through the door of their shared apartment. 

"ask her out? why would i do that?", alhaitham was quick to answer. 

"come on dude, everyone knows that you like her. 

"like her? sure i like her as a friend", alhaitham hung up his coat.

a moment of silence followed.

"oh so you wouldnt mind if i asked her out?", kaveh asked. alhaithams head shot into his direction. no words needed. the expression on alhaithams face was far more than enough for kaveh. 

"Ha, see you do like her!"

"whatever im going to sleep"

kaveh was right though. alhaitham did hold feelings in his heart that he didnt understand very well.

you on the other hand also just arrived at home. you took off your shoes and were immediately confronted with a "[name] we have to talk", of course from no one less than your mother. you tried to avoid her as much as you could, but with how controlling she is, that was more than just hard.

you both sat down at the kitchen table, and your mother immediately started talking. and you wished you wouldnt have come home that night.

"so you know that the fact that our family keeps on living, and keeping up our status is important, right?", your mother started. she had been giving you the same talk lately over and over again. she kept reminding you about how you had to get a boyfriend soon and get married soon. for archons sake, you were 19!

your family had a fairly high status in sumeru, and your mother lived for continuing the family. she had an early marriage and an early pregnancy, just to ensure that the family reproduces.

"mom get to the point", you sighed. you couldnt hear the same talk over and over again. she would just tell you how its important that you have children and its for the family and-

"i've arranged a marriage for you"

what?

she what?

"you did WHAT?", you slammed your hands on the table and stood up from your chair. 

"[name] you know its just so-"

"i dont CARE what its about!"

"now how about you sit back down and listen to me. ive found you a lovely guy whos just a year older-"

"no, how about you listen to ME for this first time in your life? all the time you were trying to control my life and manipulate me and you kept telling me over and over again how its 'for the family'!, well in all honesty fuck this family!", all your pent up anger from your nineteen years of living was now let out at the person who caused it all.

"young lady that is no way to talk to your mother, and especially no way to talk about your family!", your mother stood up from her chair as well. 

"youre not fucking listening to me! i am not getting married!", you screamed while putting your shoes back on.

you stormed out the door, although you were very aware that she was going to get whatever she wants one way or another.

it doesnt matter. she never even mattered. you needed to go somewhere, somewhere else than that place you lived in. and you knew exactly where.

kaveh opened the door for you. 

"alhaitham theres someone here for you!" he shouted through the whole apartment. its not like you were never here for you. whenever your mother got too much, you slept at alhaithams place. kaveh also told you a million times already that youre the only one who alhaitham allows to sleep in his room.

"same fights as always?", kaveh asked. you shook your head. 

"worse"

"worse? what did she do?", alhaitham was suddenly standing right in the hallway. it took you everything you had to stop you from ugly crying right then and there.

you were still mad. you were always gonna be mad, but the fact that you almost sprinted all the way to the shared apartment, took away a little of the rage.

"its kind of really hard to say", you really didnt want to say it. it for some reason felt even more wrong to tell alhaitham, but you didnt know why. 

"i dont think theres really anything that we dont expect from your mother by now", alhaitham said looking at kaveh, and then back at you. your eyes started watering. not at the thought of having to say it out loud, but at the thought of having to spend most of your life with someone you didnt even know.

"she arranged a marriage for me", you said. your words were followed by a long silence.

alhaitham looked irrated at you. or maybe he was angry. who knows. kaveh on the other hand was shocked. his eyes wide, and lips slightly apart. never of them knew what to say.

"youre kidding", alhaitham said, more wishing than actually asking. his voice was barely above a whisper. 

you could only shake your head.

a shaky, long sigh escaped your lips, and even though you didnt want it, the tears started falling. your body tensed up, and you could feel alhaithams arms wrap right around you. all you could do was lay your head onto his chest, and kaveh went to grab some water for you.

the rest, you dont remember.

you woke up, in alhaithams bed. the apartment sounded empty. what time was it? you honestly couldnt care less about going to school today. you didnt want to go anywhere today. but you also couldnt stay here another night, that was decided. one way or another you had to confront your mother, and who knows, maybe you could also convince her to stray from her plan.

but you knew, you could not convince her.

you discussed and fought with her for quite a long time.

"youre getting married to that man, and if i have to drag you to that wedding. besides everything is already paid for"

"wait- already paid for? when is the wedding anyways?",

"next month"

without another word, you stood up from the kitchen table and went to your room. you threw yourself onto your bed.

your body felt so heavy, and especially your heart. your eyes felt as if they were going to close any second, but you didnt feel like you could sleep. you were angry, but you were also disappointed and sad. disappointed in your mother, that she saw you as nothing else other than an a way to extend the family. 

and disappointed in yourself, for not being able to convince her.

well at least you still had alhaitham. he was the best friend you could ever ask for, although you ever wondered if you felt more towards him than just friendship.

your question was answered pretty quickly. you had no idea what had caused it. if it was the upcoming marriage, or just because he was always there for you. but recently you wanted to be closer to him than before. you wanted to always stay by his side, but maybe you just wanted to avoid being home.

but alhaitham... was it just an illusion or was he getting more and more distant by the minute? he used to always make time for you. if you were struggling with something, he stopped what he was doing just to help you. he wanted to talk to you over all of the people he knew. he talked to you daily, but now the days you two talked were moving apart further and further.

what was happening?

"alhaitham can we talk?", you carefully asked, not wanting to disturb him. this was one of the first time you felt like you were walking on eggshells around him. 

"not right now [name], im busy", he replied, not even bothering to take his eyes off the paper he was working on.

"but its kind of important...", you tried again. 

suddenly he slapped his paper down onto the table. 

"what is it?", he finally looked at you for once.

you sat down right across from him. 

"well... how do i start this"

"just say it, i have important things to do"

...

were you not important to him anymore?

"alhaitham, i feel like we are drifting apart", those were the best words you could find to describe what you were feeling.

"so what? its not like we're a couple or anything"

"so i dont matter to you at all"

a moment of silence. 

thats not true, is what alhaitham wanted to say.

"alhaitham dont ignore me"

"im not ignoring you"

"then answer me"

"fuck [name] just- JUST FUCKING FINALLY LEAVE ME ALONE"

huh

wait what? 

did he just say that?

"did i just say that...?", he mumbled to himself, kind off hoping you would hear it, but you were already out of the room, heading home. 

your mind was blank. where did you go wrong? what did you do that couldve possibly made him act this way?

alhaitham got home, closed the door, and sunk into the couch. his hands were traveling through his hair, and he was rubbing his face as if he was trying to rub away the words he said.

"woah what happened to you", kaveh asked as he walked past him, just wanting to get a glass of water.

"nothing", alhaitham mumbled, his hands still in his face. 

"doesnt look like nothing to me", kaveh replied. honestly he shouldve just dropped it right then and there.

"kaveh what do you think gives you the right to nag me like theres no tomorrow?"

kaveh just stared. 

"seriously man what is up with you recently? is it because of... you know, [name] getting married?", it almost felt hard to say. 

his heart dropped to his stomach and a shudder went down his spine, hearing kavehs words.

the reminder that you were getting married takes him right back to the day when you told him whats happening. he couldnt help his heart feeling like it was getting ripped apart, like its nothing more than just a piece of paper. 

from that day on he couldnt concentrate on anything. everything felt like a reminder of you, everything reminded him of the daggers that were send through his heart of the mere sight of you.

so he did the only thinkable thing, which was to distance himself. maybe his heart and mind would go back to the way things used to be. but everyday where he would be spending less time with you, felt like someone was taking half his soul away. he was even less focused on things, and was living in a trance, like a depressed man. 

but in no way was he trying to hurt you. no that was even worse than anything he could think off.

everything felt like it circled around you. it almost felt like...

"it feels a little like youre living for [name], doesnt it?", kaveh suggested. 

yeah exactly that.

kaveh sat down next to him. 

"alhaitham, do you remember the exact date [name]'s wedding is?"

alhaitham looked at kaveh. 

"its tomorrow, alhaitham"

wait

wait, no, when did time pass so fast? you cant get married. no way.

you were standing there, in your white dress. it wasnt really yours. it was your mothers old dress, meaning you did not choose your own dress. but maybe it was better like that, since you didnt want to get married anyway. the reception wasnt very pretty, it almost looked like a church. but maybe only you felt this way. you didnt want to be here. you didnt want to be anywhere. well there was one place that couldve been nice. you wanted to be wherever alhaitham is right now, but he didnt seem to want you arround.

you were staring at the bouquet you were holding. everything felt so surreal. you looked up at the guy you were marrying. he looked absolutely happy to be where he was. it almost made you uncomfortable to look at the wide grin on his face.

you looked at your mother, who seemed to be crying. everyone seemed so happy, except for you.

you were not picking up any words, until the question was asked.

"do you take [name], as your wife, your partner, for all eternity?", the sentence almost made you throw up. 

"yes", the guy so quickly replied. he smiled at you. and you felt the urge to slap him. and maybe your mother while you were at it.

"now, do you take [guys name], to be your husband, your partner, for all eternity?"

"I.. uh", you wanted to say no so bad, but it seems you didnt have to.

you looked up from the floor you were staring at to avoid any gazes, when suddenly the doors to the reception slammed open. 

"stop... the fucking wedding", alhaitham stood there, out of breath, his hair messier than ever, and he looked like he had been... crying?

he walked up to you and took your hand. 

"you dont want to marry this guy right? forget this, forget everything, and just come with me"

he looked at you like he had never seen anything he loved more. and in that moment, you indeed forgot everything. like nothing was important, nothing other than the happiness of you and the one who was holding your hand.

you dropped your bouquet right there and ran. your mother shouted something, and the guy was standing there all confused.

as soon as the both of you had left the reception, you started stumbling. 

"alhaitham im wearing heels!", without hesitation, alhaitham picked you up like you weighed nothing.

a few more steps and you both hid in an allyway. 

to some people this might looked weird, but they dont know what was happening. to you you couldnt be happier than this.

but yet, tears were streaming down your face. and you arms wrapped themselves around alhaitham, quicker than he could react. your head was already pressed into his chest. and he hugged you back.

"im so sorry, im sorry for shouting at you and im sorry for not helping you earlier. i love you, [name]", his voice was wavering, but it had an odd certainty in it. without someone having to tell you, you knew from this day on everything was going to be okay.

[usuallydyinginside]

Dragon Age Veilgard Spoilers 👇

TLDR: I never want to hear anyone criticize Neve about “the choice” in Act 1 ever again.

I’m on my second play through for DAV, and one of the things I was most curious about was how the Act 1 choice changes the game. I’ve seen endless hate for Neve and the way she acts if you don’t save her city, and was curious if Lucanis is like weirdly graceful and forgiving about it by comparison.

lol, NOPE.

Here’s the thing, friends. Yes, Neve’s upset when you don’t go to her city, but Lucanis is so much worse about it AND HAS SO MUCH LESS JUSTIFICATION?!?

If you save Treviso:

You’re told upfront that the Venatori will take over if you don’t save Neve’s home. What you aren’t told is that their first order of business before you can even show up post-dragon is to immediately find and wipe out the Shadow Dragons. When you next visit the city, you’ll find a bit of damage from the dragon but there are literally corpses and gallows littering every street—many wearing Shadow Dragon uniforms. Every NPC that you meet at the Shadow Dragon headquarters is either dead or only shows up very occasionally for quests. The entire SD base is deserted, and they basically tell you that everyone but like four people have been killed. Keeping in mind, of course, that this is an org made up primarily of regular and poor people who are fighting against a corrupt regime to end slavery. That was their crime.

Oh, and to top it all off, Neve tells you that her own m little apartment was destroyed too. She has a whole conversation about how the Lighthouse is her only home and your team is most of her remaining family.

Even with all of this, even with how angry and grieving and hurt Neve is, she still forgives you. You can still fully romance her or raise her friendship high. You just have to work for it.

MEANWHILE…

If you save Minrathos:

To me, it sounded like it would be way worse. They put up a big show of how it’ll be mostly civilians who are harmed and how the water will be poisoned. Hence, the first time I did it, I went the other route and saved Treviso.

Except it’s comparatively not nearly as bad?!? The Crow headquarters is, by my count so far, missing only 3 people (Fletcher, Heir, and guy I am suddenly blanking on name who gives a couple quests). All the important Crows are not only still alive—they’re still exactly where you expect. They talk about how empty it is, but it’s really not very and outside in the courtyard it’s downright crowded with crows. Illario is alive and well (haven’t gotten to other surprise family member but I will be shocked if they aren’t also just fine). Teia and Viago are fine. Even Jacobus is so far just fine.

Lucanis still has a giant ass mansion, a fortune, his family, and the majority of the Crows. The Blight is presumably fixable by the end of the game (unlike the Venatori taking over), and the city shows a lot of signs it’ll recover just fine. The only corpses are from the dragon attack which would have really been there anyway despite what the game shows cause either way a big ass dragon attacked.

However, Lucanis becomes immediately dropped as a romance option if you don’t save his city. He reacts objectively more severely after losing far less.

To be clear, I don’t even mind him reacting that wqy! It makes sense if either of them do. What I mind is how many fans are channeling their internalized sexism into dissing my girl Neve.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[igotanidea]

No strings attached (1) : Jason Todd x plus-size!reader

Summary: Madison was Jason's stalker and he was tired. When Y/N moved into the neighbourhood he saw that as an opportunity to get rid of the baggage. Accidental meeting led to something more than friend, never a relationship though. He was not into tail, surely not, right? So why sudden change of behaviour when she pushed him away? And why would she push him away in the first place?!

Warnings: not in this chapter, but definitely smut and angst in the next ones. I'll post individual warnings in each chapter

***

„Why the fuck can’t you just leave me alone?” Jason sighed deeply leaning onto the doorframe of the apartment next to his. Honestly he had no idea what was happening to him lately. Maybe it was the effect of getting back to Gotham, but he became more depressed than before. Guess being back from the death and realizing your family replaced you does such things to people. Of course, there was his hole Red Hood persona, but Jason? Jason Todd was insecure, sensitive and in desperate need of someone to love. And someone who would love him back. However, all those traits were skillfully covered by sarcasm, edgelord attitude and harsh behavior. So why wasn’t he able to just tell this girl to fuck off and leave him alone? Why couldn’t he say something mean, which will left her offended and disappear from his life.

He just couldn’t and it was really getting on his nerves.

“But Jason….” the girl whined “why can’t you see it?”

“See what exactly?” he raised an eyebrow

“We are just perfect for each other!” she squealed and almost jumped into his arms in an attempt to hug him “Come on, just give this a chance!”

“Please, go away, Madison.”

“You remembered my name!”

“Of course I remembered your name. How could I not?” he rubbed his forehead “you left like a hundred notes with your name and number in my mailbox. And sticky notes on my bike. And you tormented my ….’ He hesitated, the word brother, not getting thought his mouth “nevermind. I told you, I am not interested.”

“You just don’t know what you’re missing, Jaybird….”

“Stop calling me that! I hate it! Who …. Who the fuck taught you this nickname!?” now she actually managed to anger him. Maybe it was good, maybe for the first time in a while he would be able to take some direct action and get rid of that stalker of a girl.  

“I got my ways.” She smiled mischievously “nothing ever gets lost in the Internet and I got just the right tools to dig deep.”

“Listen up, Madison….”

“Oh, I am listening. Extremely carefully.” She took a step towards him and he immediately flinched. Cornered by a girl, fucking great. Grayson would never let him live this down. “Come on, Jason, let me in….” she cooed, her hand tracing up his arms towards his shoulder “you remember how much fun we had last time….”

“It was one time! One fucking time and it was a mistake!”

“The kind you want to keep repeating?”

“What the fu…..” he started, but another female voice joined the conversation successfully cutting him off. A very annoyed female voice.

“I’m sorry, but could you two take this conversation, elsewhere? You are kind of blocking the door to my apartment and I would love to take this off.” She pointed towards the heavy backpack she was wearing.

Oh, right. There have been a lot of talk in the building about a possible new tenant. Guess she was the one. And the timing was just perfect for Jason, who immediately jumped into the occasion.

“Baby!” he almost screamed and both girls looked at him with wide eyes. Madison in surprise, bordering shock, the other one with “what-the-fuck” expression, probably wondering if he was mental. So much of a good first impression “you are finally here!” he continued, hugging the girl lightly to not startle her.

“What the …..?” she hissed into his ear, but before she could finish the sentence he squeezed her tighter, almost getting a kick in the groin.

“Come on, just play along with me for a minute.” Jason whispered, so that only she could here “I need to get rid of her, I’ll buy you a wine or whatever, just help the neighbor out.”

“You’ll owe me much more than just a wine if you keep your hands where they are now.”

Oh, shit. Only now, he realized that his right palm was definitely way to low on her back. But damn, the girl got curves in all the right places and he was just a man.

“Sorry.” He mumbled and pulled away, acting like they knew each other for eternity “Why didn’t you call me, princess? I told you to do it the second you get in town! I can’t believe you carried all this weight by yourself!”

“I just wanted to surprise you…, em…, honey.”

“You most definitely did.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Hold right there.” Madison came in between them and pushed the other girl away slightly “who the fuck are you?”

“She’s my girlfriend.” Jason blurted, hoping his new neighbor would really play along.

“GIRLFRIEND!?”

“Yeah, um, hi, I’m Y/N. Nice to…..”

“Did you know you’re boyfriend is cheating on you, sunshine? No wonder, though.” She gave Y/N a look over  “You should really lose some weight, sunshine. Will do you good. ”

“I’m sorry, what….?”

“Hey! You have no right to talk to her like that!”

“Sure not. but for some reason you choose me over her multiple times….”

“ONCE!”

“Whatever, Jaybrid. If you ever get bored with her, again, you know where to find me. I’m not giving up on you, baby” Madison raised onto her tiptoes and kissed his cheek briefly. Jason almost didn’t stop himself from wiping it off his face. “as for you, girlfriend” she almost hissed the last word “I don’t; think this is going to last long. Too bad for you.” her vicious laugh filled the whole staircase “love you Jaybird, call me!”

And leaving just a thread of perfume she was  gone. Not that she left furious Jason and absolutely confused Y/N behind.

“I’m sorry about ….” Jason turned around, ready to do some explanation, but much to his disappointment, the only sound he heard was clicking on the key in a keyhole. From inside.  “Hey, come on, Y/n! Open up!”

“Go away, you freak!”

“Let me at least apologize face to face, not through the door!” a moment of silence on her part gave him unreasonable hope.

“Apology accepted, now move out of my door or I’ll come at you!” if only she knew who she was threatening….

“I promised you a wine for helping me, remember?”

“I don’t care! If you don’t leave in ten seconds I’m gonna call the police!”

“Hate to break it to you, princess, but it’s Gotham. I’m the best chances at protection you have. Or you can always call upon Batman, but I don’t see that being successful.” Jason scoffed, starting to walk back and forth.

“Oh, yeah, right. That really sounds exciting. Meeting the big, bad bat in person.” Her voice reverberated somehow clearer and closer than before and when he raised his gaze realized she actually opened the door and was now standing right in front of him.

Shit, she was pretty with her h/c hair, flowing around her face, a bit fuzzy because of shitty Gotham weather, shiny e/c eyes and pouty lips. She might have been a bit on the heavier side, but it only added to her charm and fire that she showed before by putting on the little display.

She was beautiful and even tiredness of the journey couldn’t hide that.

“Hi.” Jason whispered, a little taken aback and filled with guilt of dragging her into his mess.

“What the fuck was that?” she sighed deeply “Look, Jason, I am exhausted. I had a long journey and as much as I would love to take you up on that wine offer I had no power in me to do that. So how about we just forget about this whole mess and say farewell to each other, hm? I have no interest in interfering in your personal life, especially with the girl who called me fat the second she laid eyes on me.”

“Don’t you want to know your handsome neighbor better?” he smirked and realized that even though it just slipped through, there was a chance that his old self was getting back to life. Was it because of her?

“Nah, not really. I think I’ve seen enough. And like I said, being back in Gotham sucks, but what can a girl do, right? Life sucks as well sometimes.” She shrugged and started closing the door

“Wait!” he put a feet in, before she managed to actually do it.

“What now?”

“Are you from around here?”

“Born Gothamite. Glad you can’t tell it just by looking at me. Now, I really want to go to sleep, if you don’t mind…..” she yawned and rubbed her eyes in the cutest child-like manner, making him feel to many things. Too many dangerous things.....

‘Right, sorry. I’ll leave you to it. Good night, Y/N.”

“Yeah, night, crazy boy.”

She already had a nickname for him.

He definitely wasn’t going to let this acquaintance end up at this….

next part ->->->

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 75

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe: Military School

Words: 5K

Masterlist

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Saturday, March 26th; 10:00 AM - Lucy and Ona’s Apartment.

"Come on, call her. You’re not going to stare at that phone all day, we’ve got other things to do," teased Lucy, who had just come out of the bathroom.

I groan to show my displeasure, but eventually, I dial my mom’s number. It was time to handle it, and I couldn't keep putting it off. The ringing tone echoed... for a long time... When it stopped, I was ready to speak, my mouth open, but I got her voicemail instead. My heart relaxed at this. I don't know why, but I felt relieved. I immediately hung up.

"I got her voicemail."

Lucy laughed. She definitely noticed my reaction.

"Well, better luck next time. Go get ready, or we’ll be late."

"You’re the one who spent forever in the bathroom."

"Oh, so now it’s my fault, huh?" she laughed as I was already heading down the hallway. "Remind me, who didn’t want to get out of bed?" she shouted so I could hear her.

"At eight-thirty, I had every reason to stay in bed!" I yelled back from the bathroom.

I could hear her laughing as I started putting on my makeup. It was the last thing I had to do. Lucy had wanted to take a shower, so I couldn’t access my things earlier because I wanted to give her some privacy. She needs to understand that weekends are sacred too. Not all of us are motivated to go jogging in the morning. I’ll never understand her on that. We’re supposed to grab brunch with our friends before heading to the gym. It’ll be good to all be together again. Aitana and Beth are supposed to join us later in the day, according to Lucy. I was finishing my makeup with mascara when my phone rang. I groaned seeing my mom’s face on the screen. Lucy came over at that moment, already making fun of me.

"Answer it, or I will."

"Definitely not."

I rolled my eyes, picking up my phone from beside the sink. She’s been pushing me to do this since yesterday, and I have to admit, she’s right. Otherwise, I’d never do it. I answered the call and held the phone to my ear with my shoulder while finishing my second eye.

"Hello?"

"Ona! Did you try to call me? Is everything okay?"

"Hey. Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. Am I disturbing you?"

"I just got out of surgery. I operated early this morning. Well, more like last night. I’m about to grab some coffee. Are you sure everything’s okay? You rarely call me."

I smiled despite myself. I’ve always admired my mom for her work, even though it cost her a lot in terms of family life. It takes a lot of mental strength and confidence to perform surgeries. She’s a general surgeon. When Mapi needed surgery, she wasn’t the one to handle the case, but I know she made sure to be involved in every procedure for my sake.

"I’m fine, really. I just wanted to call to apologize, that’s all."

"Apologize?" she whispered. "For what?"

"For my behavior last time," I said plainly. "We left without me getting a chance to talk to you again. So yeah, I’m sorry. My reaction wasn’t directed at you."

"Oh... You don’t need to apologize, Ona. I completely understand."

I smiled like an idiot. She really thinks Mapi didn’t tell me how worried she was. From what I’ve heard, she was scared to death, yet here she is acting like nothing happened.

"No, it’s important. I need you to know my anger wasn’t directed at you," I said, smiling at my girlfriend, who finally turned around when she saw everything was fine.

"Alright... well, thank you for calling."

"I also wanted to let you know that we’ll definitely be attending your wedding, in case that wasn’t clear."

"Really?"

"Of course. We wouldn’t miss it."

"Will Lucy be coming?"

"Yes, that’s who I meant by ‘we.’ I hope that’s not a problem?" I teased.

"Oh no, no. We’d be delighted and honored!"

"Great... So, when is it again?"

"June 18th. I... Ona?"

"Yes?"

"I know it’s not the kind of thing you ask over the phone, and I’d understand if you say no, but... I’d like you to be my maid of honor, if you agree. You don’t have to answer right away, it’s just that—"

"Mom," I interrupted. "Calm down. I..."

I took a deep breath. This was hard for me, but I was doing it to keep my promise to my dad. He wanted me to be there when it happened.

"I accept. No problem."

"Really...?"

The surprise in her voice was obvious. A small smile formed on my lips.

"Yeah, it seems so," I teased.

"You know, if you’re feeling obligated or anything..."

"Stop. I accept, that’s it. Don’t make me change my mind."

"It really means a lot to me, Ona, truly."

"I figured."

"I’ll make sure to pay for your dresses, for both you and Lucy. We’ll pick them out together, so they’ll match."

"Whoa, slow down," I laughed. "We’ve got time."

"Can you come during your vacation? You know you’re always welcome at home, even though you’ve chosen to live with her in Manchester."

"I know, but we won’t be around this vacation. We’re visiting Grandpa and Lucy’s parents in Portugal."

"Really?" she asked, surprised. "She’s from Lisbon too? You’re meeting her parents?"

"She’s from Porto. We’re doing one week with Grandpa, then one week with her family. I still need to call him to see if he can host us."

"Oh, knowing him, he won’t say no. He’ll be thrilled to meet Lucy."

"Yeah, I’m not worried about that."

"Don’t be afraid to meet Lucy’s parents either. I’m sure it’ll go well."

"We’ll see," I sighed. "I should hang up, we’re supposed to meet for brunch," I said as Lucy reappeared, tapping her wrist.

"Oh really?With who?"

"We’re meeting our friends at eleven."

"Oh, well, I won’t keep you then. Have a great day, and let me know when you’re coming back to Barcelona."

"No problem, I’ll talk to Lucy, and we’ll keep in touch. Have a good day."

One last goodbye, and I hung up. Lucy immediately came over as I was putting away my makeup.

"Talk to me about what?"

I laughed, shaking my head. She looked so innocent, but I was sure she had listened to the whole conversation.

- Going back to Barcelona.

- Again? she groaned. That’s all we ever do!

- Oh, don’t complain. We’ve only been there twice together. And I think I just agreed to be her maid of honor. I don’t know what came over me.

Lucy laughed and wrapped her arms around me from behind, kissing the top of my head.

- Well, I’m proud of you. I assume everything went well?

- Yeah... she acted like everything was fine, as if nothing had happened. That’s a first.

- Well, that’s good, then. And why do we have to go back to Barcelona?

- She wants us to choose our dresses with her... and be matching.

- Wonderful, she teased.

- Hey, I said, turning towards her. Don’t make fun of me! I wouldn’t mind matching with you.

- That’s not the problem. It’s that I’ll have to endure another shopping session with the mother-daughter duo.

- Well, I have to meet your parents for the first time in a few weeks, I laughed in return. We all have our challenges, babe.

- That’s true, she replied, giving me a playful smack as I walked out.

I’d learned my lesson from last time, so I didn’t react to her playful gesture. We’d moved past that, and she didn’t catch me off guard this time.

- Did you remember to bring your design ideas?

I froze mid-step and turned back around.

- What would I do without you… I mumbled, making Lucy laugh.

I headed back to our bedroom to grab them. She wanted me to bring my ideas since she hadn’t had a chance to look at them this morning. After grabbing them, I got dressed to go out, and we left to meet our friends downtown. We’d noticed that the little Italian restaurant next to the gym offered brunch, so it didn’t take us long to decide to try it out today. The renovations were coming along great. We had time to finish up the locker room prep before the furniture arrived next week. Someone was coming to check if the plumbing was usable as it was. If so, Lucy said it would leave us with a little extra budget, though she wasn’t too hopeful. The place was pretty old and had been heavily used. When we arrived, I wasn’t surprised to see we were the first ones there. Lucy’s an early riser and hates being late. I’ve been on the receiving end of that before, and once was enough for me.

- So, when’s the wedding? You didn’t tell me the date.

- Oh, right. Uh, June eighteenth, I think.

- You *think*? she teased.

- It’s definitely the eighteenth. Are you done now?

She laughed as I playfully hit her shoulder. Looks like she’s in a teasing mood today.

- Oh, relax, I’m kidding. Maybe we can go after your exams, yeah? We’ll be on vacation, so we might as well enjoy it. It’ll take your mind off waiting for your results.

- Really? But what if I have interviews? And what about the gym?

- We’ll make sure you have a school and a gallery lined up before you leave Camp Wiegman.

- Easier said than done...

- Are you done complaining yet? I heard from behind. We can hear you from the other end of the restaurant.

- Oh, shut up! I snapped playfully at my best friend.

- Hey, cutie pie.

I smiled as I stood up to hug her. I’d missed her. It’s about time she moved here so we could properly catch up.

- Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve heard that nickname.

- No kidding!

I greeted Ingrid as well. Mapi sat beside me at the head of the table, and Ingrid across from me after greeting my girlfriend too. Mapi and I exchanged goofy smiles. Looks like I wasn’t the only one who missed this connection.

- So, Miss "I’m stressed about my exam," how’s it going?

- I’m fine, I chuckled. Are you mocking me?

- Oh no, she laughed. It’s just funny. You weren’t like this in high school, and I never imagined you’d turn into this.

- Well, people change, what can I say, I responded with a genuine smile.

- What’s new since I’ve been gone?

- Not much.

- Really? she raised an eyebrow.

- Yeah, honestly, nothing major, I said, glancing at Lucy. Everything’s going well. I’m looking for a gallery, we’re working on the gym, and I’m studying for my exam... that’s about it.

- So, what’s the update on that interview you had? The big gallery, she probed.

- Fields hasn’t changed their mind. I don’t think I’ll accept, but for now, I haven’t heard back from the other galleries, so it’s tricky...

- Stop worrying.

- I’m a month away from taking my exam and I’m without a school. I have every reason to worry, I replied.

Lucy rolled her eyes. It’s been a bit tense between us regarding this. She takes it so lightly that I wonder if she’s hiding something from me again. Luckily, Alexia and Jenni arrived at that moment. We greeted them and ordered right after they settled in. We didn’t want to drag things out since we had a lot to do today.

Saturday, March 26th; 1:00 PM - Gym

It was just Ale, Mapi, and me in the break room, finishing up stripping the wallpaper. There was one wall left, and the goal was to have it ready for painting tomorrow. Our girlfriends were in the locker room since the others hadn’t shown up yet. The plumber finally arrived, and Lucy wanted to be there for the assessment. I didn’t mind. It was nice to hang out with my friends. The atmosphere was great, even while working.

- So, notice anything? Ale asked Mapi with a mischievous grin.

- Notice what?

I gave Alexia a wide-eyed look as she smiled slyly. She knew Mapi wasn’t up to date on the progress of my relationship with Lucy. I turned bright red as Ale motioned towards me with her head. Mapi, who was between us, stared at me.

- Well? What don’t I know yet?

Alexia burst out laughing. I didn’t find it funny. There’s no need to make a big deal out of every milestone in my relationship.

- Your best friend became a grown-up last weekend.

Mapi gasped and smacked my arm hard.

- Ouch! I exclaimed, rubbing my arm.

- And you didn’t even tell me!? When? How? You better tell me everything to make up for it!

Alexia was laughing hysterically. I couldn’t help but follow suit, despite myself. This was exactly why I didn’t want her to know. She always has to give me the third degree.

- You couldn’t help yourself, could you? I scolded Ale.

- Nope, I had to share! It was too memorable and funny to keep to myself. You should’ve seen her, covered in hickeys and grinning ear to ear the next morning, she told Mapi.

They both started laughing. Okay, maybe I was on a high at the time. Hearing how she described me now made me feel really embarrassed.

- So, how did it happen?

- It just... did.

"It just did"? Do you think that’s a satisfying answer for me?

Stop. Seriously, it wasn’t planned at all. It just happened, that’s all. And it was good. She was really great with me. That's it. You won’t get more details.  

I stuck my tongue out at her when she groaned.

"I can’t believe you hid this from me again!"

"Hid what?" Lucy asked, just walking into the room.  

Oh no, that’s all I needed. We all know how she reacts to Mapi in these situations.

"Oh, nothing. You just need to know how your girlfriend is so mute and stubborn," Mapi pouted.

"Hmm… I think she’s improving. At least with me."  

I smiled as Lucy wrapped her arms around me from behind, rocking me gently. I leaned into her embrace.

"Can you come with me? I need your help," she whispered in my ear.

"Really? Well, sure, if you want."  

She let go, and I took her hand to follow her. It was the perfect time to be honest. Maybe Mapi would forget about this whole thing… though I’m probably being too hopeful. Before we left, my girlfriend added:

"By the way, we’re thinking of going out to a bar tonight with the others. So, if you're not up for a night at The United, now's your chance to have a girls’ night."

Her suggestion surprised me, but of course, my best friend jumped at it.

"Oh, that’s a great idea!" Mapi exclaimed. "What do you think? Since I’m already here."

"Yeah, why not," Ale agreed.

"We’ll talk about it when I get back, to figure out whose place we’ll go to," I said.

The girls agreed before I left with Lucy. She led me to the main room.

"So, what about the guy? Did he give you a rundown of what’s working and what’s not?"

"Yeah. We could keep the plumbing, but he can’t guarantee it’ll last another three years, so instead of taking the risk and redoing everything later, we’re just going to replace it now."

"Ouch... That’s a shame."

Lucy shrugged and gave me a small smile.

"It’s fine. We anticipated this. He’ll give us a quote to see how much it’ll cost since we’re not doing it ourselves."

"That makes sense. Painting and demolishing is one thing, but this is more complicated."

"Exactly."

We reached the main room, where I noticed the guys had arrived, along with a woman I didn’t recognize. I slowed down when I saw that she was holding my sketches, the ones I had given to Lucy earlier in the day. She was tall, about Lucy’s height, with a normal build and heels. She was charismatic, with long, silky black hair and lightly made-up blue eyes. Lucy smiled at me, seeing my hesitation.

"Don’t be shy. Come on," she said, pulling me forward.

"What’s this about now?"

"Oh, here she is," Beth said when he saw me. "Hey Ona."

"Hey..."  

I went around, greeting everyone, including the woman holding my drawings. I quickly returned to Lucy, who had opened her arms, letting me snuggle into her.

"Let me introduce you to Grace," Beth said. "She has an art degree, but she mainly works as a street artist. She’s the one who did the decoration at my paintball place."

"Wow," I said, remembering the place. "Well, congratulations. You’re really talented. I loved what I saw."

"What she means is, she was completely blown away by it," my girlfriend embellished.

Grace laughed, shaking the papers in her hand.

"Thank you, I’m flattered. I could say the same about you. You’re very talented."

"Thank you," I replied, blushing.

I smiled shyly, sinking further into Lucy’s arms. I don’t handle compliments about my work well since I’m not used to people looking at it. Lucy smiled at me, kissing my temple.

"I imagine you’re not here for no reason?"

"No, indeed," Grace smiled. "Beth and I recently reconnected, and he’s been talking about you and how hard you’ve been searching for a gallery. It just so happens that I recently opened one myself to start working more seriously after all these years."

I listened carefully. No… Don’t tell me...? I glanced at Lucy, who was grinning mischievously. I couldn’t believe it! She surprised me again.

"It turns out I was supposed to collaborate with a friend who backed out at the last minute. The gallery’s already open, but I’m not keen on hiring someone when I’ve just launched it."

"You mean…"

"I’d like you to come work with me. As an apprentice, of course. You’d cost me less, and based on what I have in my hands, you’re talented. Our styles are very different, but I think we could complement each other. Plus, with your management degree, you’d be a great help to me."

"Oh, I’m not sure you should rely too much on that degree..."

She laughed heartily. I guess I’ve said enough times that management isn’t my strong suit.

"Well, what I mean is that your résumé is interesting to me. So, if you're up for it, we could do a trial at my gallery to see if you like it. Of course, the condition is that you need to get your diploma first… Although, to be honest, I’d take you anyway, but your girlfriend here doesn’t seem too fond of that idea, from what she just told me."

I smiled broadly. I playfully hit Lucy’s chest, pushing her away slightly. She laughed.

"You hid everything from me again! You’re unbelievable!"

"Hey, I didn’t know," she defended herself. "Beth just told me this morning that she was bringing someone for you today."

"Is that true?" I asked her.

"Yeah," Beth replied, amused.

"I hesitated a lot," Grace admitted. "I hope you’re ready to work because there’s no shortage of it."

"I’m not afraid of that."

"Good, then there won’t be any problem," she said. "Lucy told me you’re going on vacation soon, but if you’re up for it, you could visit the gallery one weekend and do a trial run, like a day or two, to see if it works for both of us."

"Yeah, we’ll arrange that," Lucy agreed. "Maybe we could exchange contact info to stay in touch?"

"Sure," Grace said with a smile. "I’ll handle the arrangements with your school. I’ve got some former professors who might be able to help you secure a spot."

"Thank you so much. I really don’t know what to say."

"Oh, don’t thank me. You’ll be just as helpful to me, so I’m happy to help in return. I hope this will turn into something good for both of us. Who knows, maybe if the sales go well, I’ll be glad to keep you on afterward."

I was thrilled and incredibly relieved. A huge weight was starting to lift off my shoulders. We exchanged contact information and promised to keep in touch. She left shortly after, and I kissed Lucy deeply without hesitation. I really hoped this would work out.

"Oh my God. I can’t believe it’s real. Thank you so much, Beth."

"No problem," she replied. "I’m glad I could help. It wasn’t even planned. We just happened to reconnect, and I mentioned you. She immediately showed interest. From what I just saw, it looks like she likes you too."

"Same here. She’s really cool. Nothing like Fields, for example."

"Oh, definitely," Lucy agreed. "So, are you good now? Can you relax?"

I stuck my tongue out at her in response. She laughed heartily. Unlike me, she had never doubted, and honestly, it felt good. Even when I couldn’t believe in myself, she was always there to remind me that anything was possible. And today, I had proof. I’d found a gallery. This was going to be the new driving force in my life. In our life. I no longer had to consider Fields’ offer, and I was so happy. I could finally turn it down with no regrets.

"I love you."

"I love you too. Now, should we get back to work?"

"Yep."

"Come with me. Let’s go over your sketches and see what we can come up with."

I smiled, following her to the back rooms. I couldn’t wait to start this project. Even though they were just small images without much cohesion yet, I was sure Lucy’s imagination would help bring them to life. And so, our day continued.

[rolaisam]

‏In response to some messages I found in my inbox after I posted my small family's Gofundme link.

‏Some were surprised and others congratulated my late step.

‏I am here to tell you why I finally decided to participate, forced to do so, in posting the link as we approach the completion of eleven months of the war?!

‏I will not hide from you that from the first moment I confirmed the destruction of the two apartments I own in the National Housing Tower 3 in northern Gaza, many friends and relatives began to convince me of the necessity of creating a link in an attempt to compensate for some of my huge loss.

‏At that time, we were in the third month of the war, and the spread of Gofundme links at that time was limited and perhaps more useful.

‏However, I strongly rejected the matter.

‏Even though after the destruction of the two apartments, I lost everything I owned in every sense of the word.

‏However, I used to say: Thank God, I am fine, and my displacement in my family's home makes me independent of the world.

‏I thought at the time, like many others, that the war would end soon, and that the ordeal would not last much longer!

‏But the aggression continued with a ferocity that spared no one.

‏As the genocide continued, thousands of families were increasingly leaving through the Rafah crossing to Egypt and elsewhere.

‏At that time, everyone around me was asking me, "Why don't you take your children, Rula, and travel?"

‏This question alone would kill me, and tears would come to my eyes, "Where am I going, oh my God? Do I have anything left to do?!"

‏At that time, a friend who cared about me said to me, "I will make you a link, whether you like it or not, if not for you, then for your children."

‏And she did create a link for me.

‏The link remained the same throughout the past months, no one knew about it, and I didn't know about it either.

‏Until the occupation announced the start of the ground operation in Rafah on May 6th.

‏I immediately fled my family's house in Rafah (which the occupation later destroyed) to a tent in the Mawasi area of ​​Khan Yunis!

‏This displacement made me say that a new war had begun the day we were forced into it.

‏The war with all its tragedies since October 7th is on one side, and what happened after I was displaced to a tent on May 8th is on the other side!

‏Over the course of four months in the tent, I spent everything I had until I have now reached the point of nothing!!!

‏With the return of talk about efforts to activate work on the Rafah crossing and the possibility of allowing travel through it during the coming period!

‏I felt that activating the Gofundme link was a necessary evil!

[fandoms--fluff]

Not alone

Female vampire reader x Hope Mikaelson

Summary: Hope starts to have a mental breakdown and asks for reader.

Warnings: mentions of death, swearing, pretty much it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything in Hope's view is turning swirly, making it hard for her to concentrate. It's been overwhelming, the malivore monsters appearing left and right and followed by nights with nightmares of how it's her fault that her mom, dad, and uncle are dead. Then everyone always turns to her when there's a problem, thinking she immediately knows what to do.

Memories are taking over again from her past. She broke her family apart and she's the reason three of her family members are dead.

Her head isn't allowing her to take a break, awake or not. And it's taking a huge toll on her both physically and mentally. She needs to rest, but every time she tries, it goes south.

She wants, she wants- she doesn't know what she wants, til one person comes to her mind; you. The only person who always stands up for her and tells people off for how they treat her. Especially Dr. Saltzman.

Hearing a voice calling her name, she zones back in. Her nails start digging into her palms, not wanting to breakdown in front of everyone who's in the room.

"Hope? Hope are you okay?" Josie asks, worried about her friend.

She shakes her head, "y-y/n, I want y/n" she mumbles.

"Okay, I'll go get her" Josie softly says, and stands up from the couch where she was sitting next to her.

Walking through the school's hallways, she sees you sitting with Pedro and some of his friends through the window, outside.

Josie walks out the doors and over to you. "Hey y/n, you need to come with me. It's hope" She says, causing you to pause the game you were playing with the kids.

"Of course! Sorry kiddos, we can continue tomorrow" You exclaim and stand up, getting nods from the kids and follow Josie over to where Hope is sitting.

As soon as you see Hope, you immediately vamp over to her.

Josie leaves you both, not wanting to intrude on anything personal that may happen.

"Hope, what happened?" You ask softly, worry etched on your face as you crouch down in front of her so you're at eye level.

She looks at you with tears in her eyes and her hands start shaking as she also shakes her head, not wanting to talk about it here.

"Okay baby, let's go to the room" you softly say while guiding her to stand up. You guys quickly walk back to your shared dorm room with your arm around her waist.

Walking into the room, you lead her over to the bed (which is both of your guys' beds pushed together) and sit side by side against the headboard.

"Am I a bad person?" She whimpers, looking up into your eyes.

"What? No baby, of course your not. Why would you even think that?" You bring your hands up to hold her face in your hands.

"I-I killed my m-m..." She starts before a sob wracks her body.

You pull her into you, wrapping your arms around her quivering form. You bring one hand up and place it on the back of her head, trailing your fingers through her wavy hair.

"Hope, I need you to listen to me very clearly. It's not your fault what happened and you didn't kill your mom, your dad, or your uncle. It's not your fault, it never has been and it never will be," you tell her and place a kiss on the crown of her head.

She nods into your shoulder, listening to every word you said. You feel a couple of her tears drop onto your skin and her arms squeezing around your torso, never wanting you to leave.

"It's not my fault" she whispers against your skin.

"That's right, it's not your fault" you reassure her.

Hope starts to even out her breathing as her tears subside. Someone's actually here with her, someone who doesn't blame her or hate her or scared she'll turn out like her father. Someone who loves her for just her, and no other reason than that.

Though that doesn't mean thoughts don't intrude into her mind, making her think it's all her imagination and if she looks the other way you'll dissappear.

"Y/n/n?" She murmers. "Yeah?" You softly speak, hearing the waver in her voice.

"You're always gonna be here, right?" She leans up on her elbows to look at your face.

"Of course I am, baby. Don't think for one second that I won't. I promise that you'll never be alone, I'm always going to be here for you, no matter what" you hold her face in your hands, rubbing away the dried tear tracks displayed on her cheeks with your thumbs.

"Always and forever?" She says so quietly that the only reason you heard it was because of your vamp hearing.

"Always and forever" you whisper back and place a gentle kiss to her lips.

She snuggles back in her spot, her head nuzzling into your chest, smelling traces of your lavender perfume. The scent starts soothing her into a peaceful state. At the same time your running your hands through her hair, knowing she loves the rhythm of your fingers on her head.

"Just so you know, next time Alaric brings anything up to try and win a petty argument, I'm going to kick his ass so hard he won't be able to sit for a month" you tell her in a soothing voice, making her giggle at how calm you are about what you just said.

"I don't doubt it" she says. "And you're going to get in trouble one day for calling him by his first name" she smiles, knowing your antics.

"If he wants me to call him 'Dr. Saltzman' then he has to earn my respect first, and he's not even close to it" you inform her, shaking your head at the thought of your guys' asshole of a headmaster.

"So I'm guessing never" she grins. "Correct. He's a jackass anyways" you kiss her head.

"Y/n!" She laughs.

"Hey! I'm just stating facts!" You laugh with her.

"You wanna know a secret?" You ask her and she nods her head.

You lean down to her ear and whisper, "I love you!"

She shudders from your lips grazing against her ear lightly. "I love you too" she smiles, never wanting to leave this moment

She nuzzles her head deeper into your chest, "we should stay like this forever" she whispers.

"Good idea" you say, wrapping your arms tightly around your beautiful and amazing girlfriend.

Safe to say, you guys aren't going to leave for a long time.

[smolwritingchick]

Smol Brainstorm/drabble: ARMY, I'm OK!

Author's note: For the request of Jennie doing a live to reassure ARMY she's ok after the boys enlist. Brainstorming.

------

'Lisaaaa have you heard from BTS' Jennie?!'

'When was the last time you hung out with BTS Jen?'

'I miss Miss Bangtan and your cute photos with her. Is she ok?'

Blackpink's Lisa read the many comments from ARMY on her Instagram Live regarding Jennie. She smiled and spoke, "Jennie is OK. I hope she posts again soon. I hung out with her a few weeks ago."

----------

Buzz Buzz Buzz

Lisa: ARMY was on our Instagram Live asking about you. Hope you're doing OK! Luv uuuuuu! Call me when you're free!

Seated on the couch of her apartment she shared with Jungkook, Jennie read Lisa's message in surprise. This was the 5th friend that had told her this. It had been well over a month, about to go into 2 months since she was last seen on social media. Since she had said goodbye to Jungkook and Jimin who enlisted together. Since all 7 of the boys were officially away from her. She deleted all social media for a while, only keeping in touch with her friends and family via phone and text and any work-related stuff via email. She just couldn't do it as every post she had seen was about the boys. Especially the adorable JenKook videos she would come across. She missed them dearly. 

Immediately calling Lisa via Facetime, she answered on the third ring with a huge smile.

"There you are! Hi~!" Lisa beamed.

"Hey! How are you?"

"I'm well! I've been attending these fashion events. It's been so fun. But how are YOU? I hope you're ok. I know it's been hard..."

"I'm ok! I promise that I am. And I am so sorry, I hope ARMY didn't spam you. I had planned to come back on social media soon but I just didn't want to see any posts about the guys until I could pull myself together,"

"Not at all! I understand! ARMY loves you and wants to know that you're okay. You should talk to them. Do a live. They want an update from you. I'd be worried too if we haven't been texting,"

That got Jen to think. She should do a live. She missed ARMY and it would mean a lot to them to reach out.

Miss Bangtan nodded. "Yeah, you're right. Okay. Tell Jennie, Jisoo, and Rose I said hi! We gotta hang soon,"

"Absolutely! I'll see you, soon. Love you, Jen!"

"Love you, too, Lisa! Bye!" she hung up and let out a sigh. 

Redownloading all of her social media apps, she went on Instagram and started a live while she sat on her couch. 

"Hi," she smiled softly, watching the comments flow in at a rapid rate while the viewership instantly went to the millions. "How are you guys? I know I've been a little MIA. Sorry,"

'Jennie~!'

'OMG you're OK!'

'WE MISS YOU!'

'How are you holding up!?'

'Im about to cry, you're here!'

"I'm ok! I'm ok! I was going through it but I'm feeling better. My friends told me you guys were in their comments asking about me. I just had to take a break. I hope you understand. I had deleted social media for a bit. It was just...it was a little hard seeing their faces all over social media when they're not physically here with me, y'know? It has been hard to adjust to this but I'm getting by,"

She received a lot of crying emojis and comments about understanding how she felt. Jennie began to feel happy to be with ARMY as their comments were comforting.

"I keep in touch with them of course but it sucks they aren't physically there with me. I miss them all and I miss my husband so much...we've been a part before but this here is different. I sometimes wear Jungkook's shirts and hoodies at home since they still have his smell and make me think that he's hugging me. Like he's right there next to me...I miss you, ARMY. You are helping that loneliness that I feel. I promise to be more active and to keep in touch."

'What are your plans while the boys are enlisted?'

She read the comment. "I'll be back working soon. I'm going to go back to America and see my family and friends. I got stuff cooking with Nike. I'm excited to show y'all the next collection! And yes, JW 3 is coming. I hope you look forward to the album. It's too early but I do have some other plans regarding music. Announcements will be revealed soon. We're going to be OK ARMY. 2025 will be here before we know it. For now, I will remain strong. I will remain strong for us and we will get through this. The boys will be home soon. Let's take it one day at a time, okay?"

[theoats99]

Thanksgiving - Simon Kelleher

Summary - It's Thanksgiving, and spending alone is hard. But when Simon comes to visit you don't feel so lonely anymore.

Word count: 2,347

Nots - I totally meant to get this out on Thanksgiving, but life and word totally got in the way of my plans. This does tie into my last piece Holiday Blues, just a few references.

Today is Thanksgiving, and I’m all alone. Janae is with her family, then to Meave’s, and Simon hasn’t texted her since his mothers party started. I’d found out that not only were some of the higher up politicians invited, but so were a lot of his family from out of town and state.

And here I am, laying on my couch with my cats, feeling every ounce of loneliness. My brother won’t be home till close to nine, so dinner is all on my shoulders, but I don’t feel hungry. The show currently playing is showing a romance, the two actors kiss and it reminds me of how Simon kissed me just two days ago. The fire in it, the chaotic need in it.

It’s currently three pm, and I’m currently four seasons into my binge, a successful day of being a couch potato I think to myself. I checked my phone on the table, but still no messages. I’d messaged Simon earlier in the morning, telling him he’d make it through the party no problem, but still he hadn’t responded.

So with a heavy sigh, and heavier heart I turn myself back to my show. But then someone knocks on the front door, and I feel my hair raise. I sneak over to the door and look into the peep hole, and I’m met with Janae on the other end. Once the door is open she’s all big wide smiles, and she’s holding a plate.

“Happy Thanksgiving!” She brings me into a hug, which I return gladly. “I brought you some leftovers from Maeve’s.” 

“Thank you Janae, really. This is amazing, how was it with her parents?” She enters and I close the door, I unwrap the plate and it has all the stables of a Thanksgiving dinner.

“It was good with her parents, but her sister was kinda weird around me.” Janae shrugs, and immediately goes to the cats. 

“Ahh, I see what you're really here for. You're using me for my cats, it’s okay I understand.” She laughs at me.

“Oh yeah totally, like I totally knew you had the cutest cats when we first became friends.”

“So, have you heard anything from Simon today?” I ask, she looks back at me and shakes her head.

“No, you?” I ditto her, and she frowns. “I’m sure he’s fine, you know Simon. He gets a little overdramatic, it’s probably going okay.”

“I hope you're right, I’m worried about him, Janae. He was so weird on Tuesday, just not really himself, even when we came back here he was different.” She raises her brows at me. 

“You guys came back here? You and Simon had some alone time here?” She’s all smiles, teasing me. 

“Laugh all you want Janae, but I’m serious. And does he know that guy from the football team? I think his name is Jake.” She gets solemn then.  

“Jake? Yeah Simon knows him. Why?”

“Well, I was waiting for him by his car on Tuesday and I watched him talk to him for a bit. Do you think it’s something for About That?” Janae shakes her head again.

“No, I doubt it. They used to be really close friends. But then Jake drifted away I guess. That’s what Simon said, that he got super popular and Simon wasn’t so they just broke apart.” I frown too.

“That’s horrible, I wonder what they talked about.” I’m more musing to myself outloud than to her. 

“Beats me, but I came to bring that to you and of course see the cats. But I gotta get back to my place. My family is coming.” She hugs me one more time before we bid each other farewell. 

Once she’s gone I enjoy the food she brought me. I shoot Maeve a thank you text for the food, which she immediately responds to me with ‘no problem!’. Back to my couch and nearly done with my fourth season, another knock is heard. I check my phone and it’s nearly seven pm.

I again sneak to the door, and through the peephole I see Simon this time. I’m suddenly very aware of how little I’m wearing. In my sleep shorts, and large ratty shirt. I’m not ever wearing a bra, and I can’t imagine I look presentable. 

“Y/N?” His voice breaks me out of my mind. I don’t even think before I unlock and open the door to him, like it's a habit, and I’m struck by the same thoughts of my appearance. Simon though looks good, he’s in a dark blue button up and dress pants, he even has a tie on.

“Hi.” I greet him with a smile. 

“Hey.” He greets back, I close the door behind him. And he takes no time in weaving his fingers into my hair, and kissing me there. It’s the same as the other day, chaotic and messy. The surprise makes my head spin and I barely have time to register what’s happening before the kiss is over and he wraps his arms around me.

“The party was horrible, my family sucks.” He murmurs into my shoulder, his tone reminds me of a child complaining, and I still haven’t completely recovered from the kiss. I rub my palm up and down his back absentmindedly, and my slumps against me more. 

“I’m sorry to hear that, it’s over now though. You made it.” He says something but it’s lost in my shoulder. He pulls back to look at me.

“I would have rather been here, I really tried to get my mom to let me skip it.” 

“I know you did, but sometimes we have to do things for our family.” I reassure him, he’s not satisfied with it. 

“I hate it.” I laugh at him, and it seems to perk him up. “What have you been up to today?”

“Absolutely nothing, I’ve been binge watching a show, and then Janae came by with some food from Meave’s.” He nods, I take his hand and we go over to the couch. “You look handsome at least.” I watch him flush a bit.

“You look comfy, the complete opposite of how I’ve felt all day.” 

“I’m sorry, but you can be comfy now at least. This apartment is all about comfort.” I joked to him, he huffed a laugh before ridding himself of his tie.

“What are you even watching?” He scrunches his nose at the tv, an action I’ve always adored on him. 

“It’s a crime show, my favorite.” He watches the tv. And I make myself comfy again under the blanket on the couch, I lift the blanket to indicate him to join me and he takes no time to scoot closer to me under the blanket.

Were touching, and it’s something I hadn’t considered. Having him under the blanket, I can feel the smooth fabric of his pants against my bare thigh, and it’s suddenly all I can think about. 

“Did you have any fun at the party?” He looks down at me and shrugs. 

“I mean there were some moments where it wasn’t completely horrible. Like I talked to some cousins, that wasn’t horrible.” I nod. “And I talked to some journalist, he was funny.”

“Well I’m glad you at least had some fun.” I smile, and he’s just staring down at me. “What?” I feel like he’s scrutinizing my entire being with the look on his face.

“It’s just I wish I’d been here.” I feel my heart trump against my ribs.

“I wish you’d been here too, but there wasn’t anything we could do about it.” I grab his hand and run my thumb over his knuckles to reassure him again. This time I see it coming when he kisses me, it’s soft this time and when I go to break it he won’t let go.

His grip on my hand tightens and he tugs my hand in his direction to keep me in place as he keeps kissing me, and I feel like how I did the other day. Like my whole body is on fire, and when we break apart I again feel like I’m out of breath as he rests his forehead against mine.

I close my eyes and listen to the tv to calm my racing heart down, I focus into what the characters are saying, the sounds of guns firing and sirens roaring. Simon seems content to not allow my heart a break, he brings one of his hands to my jaw and his fingertips travel the line of my jaw from one side of my face to the other. I feel my breath quicken again, it feels like he’s doing it all on purpose.

“You're not being fair.” I whisper to him, my eyes are still closed.

“Hm? How so.” His voice is low, and just as quiet as mine was. 

“Because you're trying to make me flustered.” He laughs.

“Me? I would never.” I laugh this time, and I open my eyes to look at him. I’m met with his face, flushed as well, his eyes are also closed. He looks so peaceful like this, a little smile on his lips. When he opens his he’s looking right into my own, and for what feels like hours we stay like that, just looking into each other's eyes.

“Don’t be coy mister, you know exactly what you're doing.” He’s leaning in again.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He says it nearly directly on my own lips. I feel his fingers move from my jaw to my neck and it makes me shiver. This time I start the kiss, and it’s slow again, until he puts his hands into my hair again. It becomes more then, not the messy kind from earlier or even the kiss from Tuesday. This kiss is just deeper, but it makes my head spin all the same as the others did.

I wrap my hands around his wrist, and he’s pushing for me to lean back and I let him. The blanket falls to the floor as I lean back, then he’s on me. He’s nearly as warm as the blanket was, the kiss keeps the same rhythm as it had before. I feel like I’m floating as one of his hands goes down to my waist, it makes my breath hitch. He pulls back then, he looks down at me as I’m trying to catch my breath.

“Is this okay?” 

“Yes.” It comes out immediately, I just want to keep kissing him. I take my hand from his back to his jaw and mirror what he had been doing to me just moments before. He shudders and his face leans into my fingertips. 

“Now you’re the one not playing fair.”

“Hm? How so?” I parrot back to him, and he narrows his eyes down at me. 

“You just think you’re so cute.” He jests to me, I smile.

“I don’t, I’m just giving you back what you gave me.” 

“Well I do it better than you do.” 

“Kissing? Yeah you kiss better than me, that I won’t argue.” My fingers are tracing down his neck now, and I trace the collar of his shirt and allow my fingers to dip into it. His skin is hot, and his chest is heaving, once my fingers trace his collarbone he closes his eyes.

I feel powerful like this, usually he’s the one putting me on edge, making my brain frazzle into nothing. To see him lose himself gives me a sense of pride. He moves his hand over my stomach over my shirt, I feel his fingers move to the bottom and they slip under the fabric to the skin of my sides.

He’s turned the tables again, now I’m breathing as heavy as he is. I trail my fingers back to his head and rest them against the back of his head, I run them through his hair, it’s softer than I could have imagined. His own fingers keep tracing the same pattern against my skin, I tug the hair on the back of his neck and something happens.

I feel his hips jut, and he makes a sound. One similar to the one I had made for him, it makes my eyes go wide and a gasp slips out. The sound sends something straight through my entire body, and the feeling of him against my thigh sends it again ten fold. 

He’s off of me in seconds and I feel the cool air rush against my flush skin, his own eyes wide and erratic. He looks down at me, it doesn’t last long before he darts them away again, he stares at the wall behind me. 

“Are you okay?” I ask, he glances back down at me and I see his breath hitch. I’m on my elbows leaning up to look at him. He shuts his eyes.

“Yeah I’m good, I mean I’m fine. I just need a second.” I take the time to look at him, he’s still on top of me, just up on his knees. I can see him through his pants, I shut my eyes too, letting myself back down on the couch. He’s just as bothered by all this as I am.

“Yeah, me too” I say, still trying to catch my own breath. When I open my eyes his are still shut, I nudge him with my knee and he looks at me again. “What's wrong?” 

He looks conflicted, his eyes making their way over my entire form. 

“I don’t want you to think I’m a creep.” The confession brings a flush to his cheeks. 

“Why would I think you’re a creep?”

“Because I got.” He pauses and whatever he wants to say won’t come out. “Because I got all, I don’t know, bothered.” He’s beet red after he’s done, it gives me the courage.

“Well, I am too. But that doesn’t make me a creep.” I tell him, his eyes snap to my face. 

“You are?” I nod. “I guess we’re both creeps then.”

[chibiplumbobs]

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Meanwhile in The Hamptons...

Tuesdays and Thursdays were always reserved for ballet lessons after school for Chantel and her friends. After a busy day of studying and other school events, ballet classes were the perfect time for the girls to gossip while engaging in one of their favorite activities.

"My mom told us your sister got her own apartment, and is planning on opening her own yoga studio...is that true?" Patty asked. Like her mother, and the other mothers of our trio, was just as gossipy and always giving the latest in town gossip.

"If the Diamonds are talking about it, then it's true," Chantel answered rather shortly.

"I think it's a cute idea. Different," Reyna added.

Patty continued, "I'm just wondering, don't you think that sets a certain 'reflection' on your family? I mean, I am technically like an heiress being the oldest..." Her words more contradicting then friendly.

"That is a good point," Reyna once again chimed in. "I am too."

Chantel quickly turned, getting into the proper dance position. She was becoming slightly irritated by the conversation. "Well they do say the second time is the best," she shot coldly. "Besides, it doesn't feel too bad knowing you aren't the problem child.

"So you aren't worried about what people might say?" Patty continued on the matter.

Feeling frustrated, Chantel finally snapped, "Patty, this is ballet class, not the gossip panel. Make yourself useful and get into position."

With a huff, Patty said nothing, but did as she was told finding the empty spot next to Reyna who just offered a sympathetic look. It was one thing Chantel had to deal with her sister's actions at home, now she had her friends to deal with as well.

After class, the girls decided to end their afternoon at their favorite boba tea shop. It was one of the more popular spots frequented by the teens of the neighborhood, and their regular hang out.

As the girls enter the shop, they all noticed a familiar face behind the counter. Chantel more interested than the other two, took over from here. "I'll put the orders in while you girls secure our space," she instructed.

Patty looked to Reyna with a devious smirk on her expression, "We know why she wants to go take orders." A light giggle left her mouth as Reyna did the same.

Chantel rolled her eyes and continued to the counter, "Shut up before you both get nothing."

Reyna giggled again will Patty pulled her towards the staircase, "Come on, before the old people try to take over."

There at the counter was Angel. He was Chantel's classmate and also played for the school's soccer team. She'd have a crush on him since their freshman year when he moved from Ciudad Enamorada. It was one of her deepest secrets considering they were from two different sides of social society.

Chantel felt her stomach begin to knot as she made her way up to the counter.

"Chantel, hey!" Angel greeted her with a smile. A smile that made Chantel immediately do the same.

"Oh! Well hello Angel, I didn't know you were working this afternoon". A lie.

"I picked up an extra shift since someone called out," he answered. "Nothing wrong with a few more extra bucks right?"

"Right," Chantel smiled. She felt nervous.

"Let me guess, your usual expresso tea? Extra sweet, almond milk, and caramel drizzle on the inside?" he playfully rambled off.

Blushing, she nodded, "You remembered."

Leaning forward, Angel looked deep into Chantel's eyes, "You're a pretty hard girl to forget."

Again, her stomach knotted. "Is that a bad thing?"

Angel smiled, "It's never a bad thing Chantel..."

The two stared at each other for what seemed like hours when in reality, it was only thirty seconds. The woman in line behind cleared her throat letting the pair know her patience was running thin.

Clearing his throat, Angel began working on the drinks as he continued the conversation, "Are you going to the Fall Ball next week?"

"Of course," Chantel responded. "What kind of silly question is that? My girls and I are on the committee."

"Of course, but you never know. You may have some trip to Tartosa planned instead," he playfully shrugged.

Chantel giggled, she enjoyed his sense of humor. "Nope, you and your new goatee get to see me in all my Fall Ball glory."

"So you did notice the new look!" he smirked.

"I like it," she admitted.

The two got silent for a moment before Angel cleared his throat, "The drinks should be ready in a few. They'll be sent up to your usual spot."

"Thank you Angel," Chantel said with a smile. The knot in her stomach had finally released, and she couldn't wipe that damn smile from her face.

Joining her friends upstairs, Chantel plopped down on the couch and let out a huge sigh as her friends crowded around her.

"So, did you get to talk to your boo?" Patty asked.

Chantel snickered, "He is not my boo!"

"But you want him to be," Reyna teased.

Chantel tossed the throw pillow at her friends and tried once again to contain her smile. Maybe she did want him to be...

Stay tuned for the next chapter coming soon!

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Twitter | Pinterest | Patreon | Discord (coming soon)

[blizzardsuplex]

You don't know what you've unleashed El <3 Sappiness in 100 words or less each under the cut!

In general: After being on the outside looking in with Tumblr for a long time, I finally joined somewhere around the midpoint this year. I was kind of active for a month before major events in both my family and long-standing hobbies made me disappear. The me from even a few months beforehand probably would have never come back…but I did, and I couldn’t be more grateful for it. It’s just really fun to be on here, in a way I haven’t experienced for a while—so, if you're reading this, whether we actively talk or not? You’ve contributed to that. Thank you.

Drea @shes-a-voodoo-child: I knew you first as a brilliant writer, but little did I know that you were also a gracious member of fandom/Tumblr, even to someone like me who blundered into a cold call (thank you for not immediately blocking my empty blog, haha!) Nowadays, though, I know you first and foremost as someone I’m glad to call my friend—even if I must admit I still look up to you with stars in my eyes. I only wish I had more interesting things to talk about with you, because I really enjoy whenever we chat things like music or wrestling!

El @spaghettisaurusrex: Honestly, at first I thought you were too cool for me—you teach swordfighting, for God’s sake! But you’re also an incredibly chill, incredibly nice person, who I’m always glad to see in my notifs on Tumblr or Discord. And, of course, thank you so, so much for writing and talking the fairy tale AU with me; it was a fraught journey on my part, but it also turned out one of my fave pieces I’ve ever done. We should write together again next time!

Izzy @limbreaper: So much to say, so little (self-imposed) space to say it. I never thought I’d have a friend like you, honestly, especially considering everything’s that happened. Forever grateful that you’re in my life (if only for now), and I hope you have as much fun talking to me as I do talking to you—and if we drift apart one day, though hopefully later rather than sooner…I won’t forget your kindness sending that message to a stranger. It really did mean a lot. Hopefully there’ll be authentic PH food options where you are some day.

Jackie @tekkers: I’ve admired your GIFs/ZSJ content from even before I was active on tumblr (yeah, I was a tag delver), so to find out that the person running the blog is a really cool person on top of everything? Chef’s fucking kiss. Thank you for listening to me for a couple of hours that one time and offering to finagle with Highspots TV for me. Also, you have great taste in music! We should start swapping recs again (though I don’t know if I’ll ever give you something that I loved as much as Emotionalism!)

K @onlyposersfallinlove: We don’t talk as much as we might be able to, but I hope you know that I’m thinking of you and hoping for you always. Whether your goals be in the spheres of fandom or private life, you deserve to achieve them, because you have the right to be happy. May whenever you read this be wonderful—at least just that day.

Kerri @sublightsleeper: You’re a thief in the night, except you both bring the day when you pop up and also are not a thief in the slightest (unless you want to be, because thief classes are cool). Either way: you’re a very nice, creative person and talented writer, and I always smile when you take the time to say hello!

Pastel @zsjbrightensday: It takes a lot of bravery to post a creative work to any sort of public—and now you’ve done it twice, with even more on the way! I’m really, really glad that you feel safe enough to do so, and I am excited for whatever is next in your WIP list! Also, you’re just a very nice person and I always am happy to get asks from you.

Poke @theaerialassassin: I hope you liked your present! Joking self-aggrandizing aside, you are a great friend and a great person to exchange ideas with and be around. I hope that school and life treats you well, and that you know that, whenever or wherever doubts may creep in, you know you have people to turn to (including both those around you physically and the people in your phone, if you’re so inclined). You’re there for us, too, after all.

Rosa @rosabellebelieve: As I’ve told you recently, I’m so very glad you were active in the notes of Drea’s posts and were receptive to the virtual post-its I left on your desk, haha! You’re wonderful to talk to, and though I wish once more when DMing you that I had more interesting things to say because I just enjoy when we converse, I know that whenever we do it’s a great time. Thank you for being my friend!

Syb @fang-revives: How does your garden grow?—well, it’s almost winter, as you said. But I’m always glad to see your gardening pics cross my dash! I hope that the last of this year’s tomatoes were good, and that when the world wakes up in a few months for spring your plants will be the most verdant verdure this side of the US-Canadian border. Also KENTA is cool I guess (I kid; he definitely is. Have I sent you the KENTA/Marufuji hour long match my friend compressed to sub-8 MB?)

Vera @scissormedaddyass: On top of being super duper cool, you’re a very level-headed person and I deeply appreciate that. You’re also a great writer and just…so fun to talk to/participate in fandom with (let’s go sailing the internet’s seven seas, haha). Very glad I met you. I hope your walks remain pleasant and that the yar-harr fandom you’re a part of isn’t too sad about what happened. ;)

[lyledebeast]

It's been a minute since I've written a post about The Patriot, but what better time than the next to last day of the year while recovering from covid?

A while ago, another parallel between Benjamin Martin and the titular character in my old, bygone fandom the BBC Robin Hood occurred to me. How many times does Robin threaten to throw in the towel on being the peoples' savior for reasons that range from his love interest being murdered to some townsfolk having the audacity to hold him responsible for the consequences the Sheriff of Nottingham doles out to all of them in response to his actions? A lot of times across the show's three seasons, it turns out. And it would be one thing if the point being made was that no one can save the world alone. Everyone gets overwhelmed sometimes and has to rely on their friends to pick them up. Considering that every time Robin quits, it is a friend who brings him back, that would be an excellent point to make. But it's not. It's Robin's name on the tin, and the show never lets us forget it.

Although "the patriot" technically refers to Martin's son Gabriel, it is Benjamin who is consistently presented as the movie's hero even as he is ready to give up every time something he failed to foresee happens or his solution to a problem does not immediately work. He gives up on reasoning with ALL British officers after his efforts with Colonel "Fire the house and barns" fail, resulting in massive carnage. He gives up on mounting any kind of offensive against the Green Dragoons when sends everyone home after arriving too late to save one family. He packs up to go home again after Gabriel dies. His momma raised a quitter for sure.

In some respects, the series is more grating because the arc over which the complication arises, the hero throws in the towel, his friends talk him out of it, and he eventually triumphs plays out in multiple episodes with no variation. But, there is another comparison to be made between the two. In Robin Hood, Sheriff Vaisey and Guy of Gisborne are both trying to increase their own power and wealth in different ways over the course of the series, and Robin is foiling them. Catching Robin is not the end goal for these antagonists that catching Martin becomes for Colonel Tavington. And Tavington, unlike his historical inspiration Banastre Tarleton, never gives up in all the months he spends in this pursuit. His response when General Cornwallis berates him for his failure to deliver Martin is simply "Thus far."

The final fight between him and Martin provides a particularly stark contrast. Tavington, by that point, has been violently thrown from his horse (deceased) and shot in the arm by Martin, not to mention that he is still recovering from being shot in the side by Gabriel a few days earlier. He doesn't care. He picks himself up, literally. He tells himself "Be Gay and Carry On," or "Keep Calm and do Crimes," and he attacks. Initially, he and Martin are evenly matched, and Tavington takes some more damage. He decks Martin in the face and slashes him with his saber. Martin, outraged, head-butts him and stabs him in the tit. Again, Tavington doesn't care. He is a bad bitch, and this is a typical Tuesday in the British Army. He rallies and slashes Martin on the back and legs and . . . that's pretty much the end of the fight as a fight.

(I must make an aside here that I was adamant at the outset of writing this that as soon as Tavington touched Martin, he was done. Martin was How Very Dare You? Don't You Know Who I Am? and just falls apart. That isn't quite true, but he certainly doesn't have the resilience of someone who has not had triumph handed to him again and again. Rewatch the source material when you write meta, folks.)

After punching Martin in the face and slashing his arm, Tavington, who has been fighting with only his saber up to this point, drops to one knee, picks up the bayonet that eventually ends up going through his neck, and rises with a menacing grin. Apparently, he wants to be evenly matched with Martin more than he wants to take advantage of Martin's loopiness from having been hit for the first time in twenty years with something more than an emotional blow. The slut. Of course, what also happens is that he gives Martin an opportunity to recover that Martin certainly does not give him (conduct of a gentleman be damned). And as we all know, it's certainly not the last time this happens.

Both of these low-pain-and-disappointment-tolerant heroes have the reputation of being great fighters, but I feel confident in saying Robin deserves his far more. Pretty much every time someone gains the upper hand over him, that person is fighting dirty. In The Patriot, let's be honest. Benjamin Martin is the dirty fighter here. He is very good at jumping out from behind trees to kill people who didn't know he was there one second before, but he sure as hell can't take a hit. Ultimately, his triumph is even more annoying than Robin's for several reasons. Robin's longsuffering, under-appreciated friends are usually able to get his ass back on track before peasant casualties accumulate iirc. Martin's inaction contributes significantly to the movie's very high civilian body count. For this reason, along with his being a bitch of a completely different kind than Tavington, Martin does not deserve to be bailed out of situations where he is so ready to embrace defeat. Moreover, I think Tavington deserved a little bit of triumph. Not too much; he is a child-murdering war criminal. But he deserved to take Martin out with him. He certainly worked a lot harder for it than Martin did.

[five-nights-at-whoopees]

Meet the Characters: Part 3

so, due to apparent popular demand- i am going to be writing about the security guard next! i did place this up to poll, and i genuinely wasn't expecting Heidi Weinerman to win but here we are- i do plan on setting this up differently because if i get myself burnt out from my own fixations, i might actually cry so,

Heidi was honestly chosen because I thought she had the most connection to our boys; and yes, Nomi is still there (also to clarify right now, he is not nomirandy- he's the Nomicon but i decide to be self indulgent that's it)

I will say this, she does not get to have a good time- even if she isn't directly tied to the missing five incident

General Background;

Heidi is still the oldest of the Weinerham siblings- they have roughly two years of age difference in this universe because I said so. Of course, due to this the relationship between her and Howard is a little bit strained but overall, it could be worse. I honestly headcanon Heidi to be born somewhere in summer or fall, but we'll get right to the point- there is no favoritism in the Weinerham family, not a single bit. Mort is not that kind of parent and specifically for this universe, he is divorced! He values both his children equally, but of course Mort is a busy man and he still had to leave Heidi to care for her younger brother

Things at first, they were fairly normal. Heidi was fine helping out around the house, though somewhere around the time Howard turned three- a new addition was made to the family so to speak. Mort Weinerman and one of the neighbors, Ayumi, had arranged a playdate between their two sons: Howard and Randy. Almost immediately, the boys had it hit off and Heidi honestly felt glad that her brother could make friends this way. It wasn't uncommon to see Randy over at the Weinerman household (Heidi could never fully remember his name but oh well, if it made Howard happy-)

As the years passed, Heidi discovered her love for media- doing mostly home videos before ShoobTube truly kicked off in popularity. Her family had always been modest with their money, and Heidi certainly didn’t ask for much. She tended to film using an older camera (if anyone’s genuinely curious, i can share the model of the camera later!) and would do narration videos!

Though it was on Randy’s eighth birthday party that everything fell apart- Heidi was only ten but she was far from dumb and seeing Howard’s panic when no one could find Randy was heartbreaking (she still remembers when the police showed up, talking to the guests and trying to make sense on how multiple kids had suddenly gone missing) After that, Heidi found herself in a strained rivalry with her brother- more so than before and she couldn’t blame him. Randy had been a constant in their lives, except now he was gone and Heidi didn’t know what to think

As the years passed, Heidi continued using media and film- becoming one of the most watched people on ShoobTube within her high school. She began doing other forms of content: viral videos, ‘exclusive’ interviews, gossip received from students. It wasn’t out of the ordinary, and it was what led her to going to college for Media Production but with still trying to find a good agency to work for and deciding she needed something to do with her time- well, things certainly got interesting

… and we get to the present

Current Information;

Heidi is currently 28 (which makes Howard about 25/26-); despite still having a presence on ShoobTube- she was hoping to do more with her life, but it was proving a lot harder than it needed to be. Nothing would have prepared her for choosing to be a security guard at Whoopee World- it had been an ad on a streaming site and the next thing, an idea formed in her head. Perhaps it might never work but if she didn’t, no one would

She might be able to get answers; make sense of the missing children case from nearly thirty years ago, and well- she felt she owed it to Howard and to Randy, and let Norrisville rest after the devastation. Heidi was quick to make an appointment for an interview and strangely enough, she got it almost right on the spot. This would be easy; simply make it through the week, gather as much information as she could and if need be- work for a little longer, if it meant putting an end to this entire mess

Nothing prepared her for the strange call she got on the first night- Heidi blinked, not understand as the warning of the animatronics’ free-roaming mechanism. She was even more startled when it claimed that the animatronics wandered, that they would attempt to stuff her into a suit… but she pushed through and things got even weirder

Was she dreaming? It had almost sounded like a cry, a child’s scream but it couldn’t have been- and that was made her come back. Heidi had no idea what she was getting herself into, what this would unravel in the end but of course, nothing was ever that simple

Heidi Weinerman was going to solve the mystery. No matter what

Headcanons;

🎬 Heidi is ADHD. She has a fixation on media and film, and hopes one day to become a professional producer but for now- she has a job as the security guard at Whoopee World

🎬 Heidi is feisty- she stops at nothing to get what she wants, but even then she is very protective of those she cares about! She has intervened when Howard was being bullied in high school, and is too stubborn to quit when attempting to uncover the truth

🎬 She tends to keep her hair loose or in a ponytail

🎬 Heidi isn’t one to fully believe in the paranormal (but she also has heard the wails- the weird childlike screams; to ‘save them’ and she’s begun to question)

🎬 She is friends with Debbie Kang in present times. Heidi and Debbie weren’t fully close during their high school years but at the same time, similar interests call for friendships! They are both equally as determined for the truth

🎬 The relationship she has with her brother strengthened once more in adulthood, but they both lead different lives

🎬 Heidi doesn’t have dreams of the incident like some of the others do- (at least not in the current moment)

There will be more to come soon! I hope you enjoyed this because ohhh I am just getting started- stay safe, everyone and happy Pride!

[seekers-who-are-lovers]

This is an excerpt from a story I am working on. PA Works didn’t give us that playdate scene they hinted at during the sixth episode, “Love is Blind.”

Submitting this for #kazukiweek2023 for daycare/night out prompt @bdcharacterweek

“Rei, Rei, Rei, come out, come out, wherever you are!”

Kazuki checked Rei’s possible bolt holes in the loft, but the bathroom was empty and so was his unused bedroom. When he turned the glass door handle to the terrace, cigarette smoke surrounded his friend like a smoke bomb listening to his headphones as he swayed his head. No wonder he didn’t budge at Kazuki’s arrival at all.

Kazuki touched Rei’s arm softly, careful not to surprise the younger man, whose eyes were closed listening intently to his music. Kazuki would love to know what type of tunes that required his friend’s attention and concentration, a face devoid of worries at this moment. When Rei finally noticed him, he was red in the face and quickly turned the music off.

“Kazuki, what the hell?!”

“Dude, I just want to tell you that you still have 30 minutes before you pick up Taiga and his mother from the train station,” Kazuki informed him. Rei’s eyes turned shifty, collected his things and stood up.

“Why fetch them from the train station anyway? I thought they just live nearby,” Rei grunted his way to the door.

“They went to see Taiga’s grandmother in Kanagawa too. She’s bringing the kid here after that.”

For security reasons, Kazuki suggested that they they should meet on a neutral place for the child’s pickup and back. Sato, at first, was not impressed. Doubt was etched on her voice when Kazuki talked to her on the phone. When they met at the Aozora daycare to fetch their children, she was apprehensive to talk to him in person. Their interaction mostly happened either with private messaging or Line chat group with the other moms anyway.

“You can trust me, Mr. Kurusu, but can I trust you?” She appeared hurt.

“That’s a bit forward, Ms Kawasemi. Of course, you can. It is a matter of our household policy. I hope you understand.”

But her anger and doubt vanished as soon as she saw her son and Miri leaving the door while holding hands. Both children shared that sympathy that somehow bothered Kazuki initially. He thought Taiga was giving his daughter a hard time. Observing Miri develop her own way of thinking and set of morals truly fascinated him.

“Oh well, Taiga doesn’t stop talking how Miri did this or Miri did that. I guess, we’ll see each other on Saturday then,” Sato smiled. Her heart melted seeing Taiga clung to Miri. She finally succeeded releasing the poor girl from Taiga’s strong grip. Sato waved goodbye and quickly forgot her somewhat heated conversation with Kazuki earlier. Taiga was eager to tell her his stories as his small hands clutched on to her skirt.

Kazuki gazed at the two figures slowly dissipating from his view. Sato was not classically pretty but wore a kind and comely face. She initiated the first contact explaining to him how grateful and happy she was that Miri was a good influence on her child. On the other hand, rumours spread like wildfire about Sato and her husband cheating behind each other’s back.

Not my problem, not my partner, Kazuki noted.

He watched as the other mothers pick up their kids. These women used to have their own lives before they got married. Now what they had were absent husbands and fathers and so much housework. Furariimen these men were called. Husbands and fathers who don’t return home immediately avoiding their duties.

At least, Rei caught early on why there should be a division of labour at home if they wanted to make this family work. He’d grown so much as a person after Kazuki “ran away” in June. It was a wake-up call: taking care of a sick child, cheering her on her endeavors. He volunteered more often to bring and pick Miri up to and from the daycare centre apart from helping at home. He also got interested in cooking. His French toast was way better than a month ago. But the way he drenched the bread with cinnamon was over the top. Oh. Strange categorising Rei with the nursery mothers’ husbands. Kazuki shook his head smiling at his inanity. They still had a lot of things to talk about.

[keira-kaz2y5]

Ok so finally found the time to watch episodes 7x02 - 7x04 with my mum. (I’ve already seen them all at least twice, this was her first watch)

The whole episode I was kinda nervous but super excited.

Can I mention again here that she previously did not ship buddie at all, said me and people these days are “always making things gay when they’re not” and said they were “just friends” and the Ravi Buck Eddie sewer call she reiterated this statement saying “see? They’re just good friends” after buck’s clear jealously, which, fair. Yk it can def be seen as friendship— unless you’re open to the fact characters are allowed to be queer and not stated, and also that he’s been played as bisexual since s1 with sooooo much TEXT and SUBTEXT abt it—

When it finally got to the loft apartment scene I was shocked it had come round so quick (I swear that episode felt longer when I watched it alone), and immediately I felt my heart beating a lot faster in anticipation. At the buck Tommy kiss, to my surprise she reacted by grinning wide smiling like in disbelief and stayed like this until they pulled away and we saw buck’s reaction then she sorta manic laughed at buck’s “that works” I think out of disbelief and shock and amusement at buck’s starstruck reaction, “… Saturday? 🥹🤩”and his joke about fake mouth static.

Then as Tommy was walking out and talking about a date my mum said “that’s gonna make.. Eddie, really… mad.” (She was distracted listening to the rest of the scene and dialog)

😆 so her initial reaction was soooo much better than I’d expected/feared!! (From here it turns into kinda a trauma dump with 911 about I realised I’m so so so repressed.. read at ur own risk lol!)

But then of course I went and fucked it up by getting too excited and blabbing.

(I voice memo recorded this whole scene to get her reaction) she asked me about how “so he’s (buck) saying he thought he was jealous but it wasn’t of Eddie it was of him (Tommy).” And I sorta spiralled saying yeh because that’s how he saw it in that moment because he’s trying to figure out what these new feelings are and who they’re for etc and went down the rabbit hole of Tommy being gay from the start (army, ‘begins’ episodes..) and so on and my mum heard like 4 seconds of this and stood up and collected dishes and stuff and walked away saying I was getting too much into it (fair, my adhd does tend to make me mentally jump subjects fairly quickly in ways it doesn’t make sense to other people)

But she never really has healthy conversations with me about queerness, don’t get me wrong I love my mum and she isn’t like throwing me on the street for saying I’m bisexual, but she also isn’t exactly having healthy conversations about it with me either. She prefers to avoid the conversation a lot and stay silent about it, so the repression is real and tbh I didn’t even realise how repressed I was until about 3rd December 2023 I saw a picture of two women kissing and I fully went “oh shit I’m bisexual, I almost forgot I liked women”. Yeh. The repression is so real.

I then went on a Pinterest spiral downloading women photos and made an album on photos app to put it all in so that I had that place to go to and look and I would never be so repressed that I forgot again. I have since been much happier and more queer and open within myself

(For reference this is the picture)

(This is the photo album - not my photos, all from Pinterest)

(Note: I am a teenage girl)

And the only other time I realised I was repressing it, was on holiday with my auntie that I see like once a year, when she teased me about a girl I’d spoken to from a street vender thing and I realised that “oh this is normal” like, families should tease me and be comfortable about it. (Although they don’t tease me about boys much either so..)

Because my family never feel so open about my sexuality to be that comfortable. Whenever the subject comes up it turns into almost an argument because they think I only think I’m gay because I hung out with two lgbt girls for 3, 4 years and they were my only close friends.

Apparently the gay is contagious 🤣

My Nan is homophobic, she’s “of a different generation” apparently and can’t change. She’s not super bad about it but does make comments like “it’s wrong” so I never really talk about it. My brother had the “my friend is gay so i can’t be homophobic” mentality, and also believes like my mum that im only bisexual because of my old friends.

But fr they don’t say it’s a phase specifically but they sort of play it off like one saying I only “think that” because of them (my friends at the time — who I’m not even friends with anymore)

And one time watching the hen and Karen begins episode with the nasa lab explosion- when we get that make out scene between them, my mum laughed and said she was uncomfortable because it just looked “unnatural” and I know she said this because they were a bit fumbly in the scene, knocking things over and kicking off shoes and both plus sized women, but that reaction has just stuck with me since. Because it’s still a beautiful moment and yes they look different to typical people making out but it’s still sexy and a vibe but also I am a plus sized woman, so yes that could be my future. Another time before this when there were some HenRen scenes in bed my mum said to me “is that what you wanna do, cuddle up to some woman in bed like that 🤨” and I was sooo unprepared for that question and sorta went ‘uh yeh no yeh but not like them two because Hen isn’t my type yk but yes’ and she went 🧐 hm ok 🤷‍♀️

These things have stuck with me

And also when I had a therapist last year the one time I mentioned being bisexual and she that’s something we should talk about I completely shut her down and said it’s fine nothing to talk about and looking back… man I was repressed. Like dayum.

And now I realise I have so much to say.

And the tipping point for all this, is the bi Buck canon, of course. Only 3 days ago but feels like a lifetime already, just the portrayal and the delivery and perfection and sentiment of it all hits so hard, especially the fan reactions, but also actor and director and journalist reactions and everything Tim has had to say on it including Oliver and Ryan interviews. And it’s made me so emotional about it all, I can’t even express how genuinely happy to my core i was the first 2 days every second, and I was dancing around my kitchen, grinning every 3 minutes when I remembered… it was bliss. I felt so seen and happy and loved, appreciated and respected and represented. It’s unreal. Especially the joy and care Oliver has given this.. i can’t explain. It’s so validating.

Within myself I feel much more at peace, and I have realised that in fact I was repressed, and still kinda am.

So bringing it back to the start was that after watching this with my mum I tried to express to her how much this means and the backstory and what’s going on online about it with the directors and actors and everything but I hardly even said a thing and she kept saying how “it’s just a show” “it’s 9-1-1!” “You’re getting too much into this/too attached” even when I tried explaining how queer storylines is something we have to search for to watch in media, and how this will change media from now on and the representation.. she kept walking away, trying to change the subject and invalidating it all saying stuff like

“it’s just a series! You act like it’s a real person!” “You do, you get carried away with it.” “Ok Keira 🙄🚶‍♀️.. yeh! You’re just getting a little far-fucking-fetched” “right… Keira.” “It’s just a show!” Me: “It’s more than a show.” “In your head it is.” “You’re just going on”

Bear in mind I wasn’t actually going into depth, I was stating how this is a big thing and said literally what I’ve written here, like this is 30 seconds of me talking. Because I wanted to have a healthy conversation about it all, but clearly it didn’t work and i should’ve just been happy with the smile reaction and left it at that.

I tried directly pointing out the problem, too, saying that she never wants to have a healthy conversation with me about it all, to which she replied the “it’s just a show/you’re getting too much into it” part and when I addressed that this family is slightly a little bit homophobic but none of them will admit it she was laughing and going “it’s 9-1-1! It’s 9-1-1!” “(I) make it out into some big drama” (I wasn’t raising my voice or anything I just wanted to have a conversation about it with her, she was the one raising her pitch) and how I’m “just taking it all to another level!” Me:‘Because it is at another level, this is so huge for the industry and the queer community’ “oh god, Keira.. you make such big dramas out of it,” (me literally not being dramatic at all, just wanting a nice discussion about this and both the reactions of fans/non-fans/people, how it’s done so well—compared to other storylines and shows— and the impact this will have on so many things) my mum:… “you always twist me to make it out that I’m some horrible person” to which I responded “well no, because you’re not but you could be more healthy about it, you always laugh it off or change/avoid the subject” (me talking about queerness in general, not 9-1-1, to which she replied) “nanna gets like this over Coronation Street! And I just don’t understand! It’s just a show.”

These quotes she said are direct because I audio recorded everything. Probably not in the right order bc the explanation is a little messy what can I say it’s adhd like I said 💅😵‍💫🤷‍♀️😅

Yeh so I guess this is turning into some Reddit thing like AITA am I the asshole for wanting a healthy conversation and for my family to be more comfortable about queerness in general as well as my own (bi)sexuality but also it’s just me expressing how tonight went to anyone who’s stayed to read this. Maybe I should go back into therapy. It’s just my old therapist I never really told her the deep things but also finding someone new that works with me is expensive and exhausting. So it’s been a hard night but I will still rewatch the scene to find happiness in it all again. I just want to wait until I’ve slept it off so I can be fresh and remember the happiness and validity I felt on friday & sat