#(and sometimes bipolar and psychosis)

[moomeecore]

controversial opinion betty has way more autistic traits / coding than simon but ppl immediately jump on assuming characters who are neurodivergent coded/ have those vibes must have adhd if theyre energetic and autism if they're calm

[tittyinfinity]

My neurodivergencies and mental illnesses overlap so much that you could diagnose me with about anything at this point

[clowngremlin]

my dad looked through my sketchbook without my permission and he was like "are u not doing well? a lot of ur drawings are about feeling bad and worthless" which makes me feel really weird because those types of drawings were not drawings i wanted anyone to see and like i don't go through his notebooks and shit, so why is he allowed to look through my sketchbooks (he has a history of this and it's one of the reasons i ended up going to therapy because i used to draw a lot of pictures of people, mostly myself, being mutilated and he looked in my sketchbook and saw that and was like "hm i think my kid is unwell") and when i got upset with him, he was like "well u just left it on the kitchen table and u said u had been drawing more so i wanted to see what u had been drawing!" which like fine ok but like it's an invasion of my privacy to do that???? i'm 26??? don't go looking at my personal sketchbook without my permission?????

[emotargaryen]

having bipolar disorder is so interesting bc people treat it like a joke like its just an adjective to describe when someone's being a bitch and being manic is when you clean your room at 2am or dye your hair. yet so many symptoms and behaviors overlap with other mental illnesses its like getting hit with constant ricochets of hearing how much people hate having to deal with you and not taking it seriously but because they arent talking about bd specifically i feel like i have no right to be like... upset about it. or that if i say something then im taking the attention away from disorders that are "more stigmatized" or whatever since no one ever really talks about bipolar disorder. idk its just a weird space to be in sometimes

[psychoticallytrans]

There's this idea, fairly common in society, that mental illness is for teens and up. Children are happy little creatures, generally, right? Sometimes they're abused and the trauma can make them mentally ill, but that's not common.

There are two fundamental problems with this attitude. One, it's incorrect to assume that trauma is the only reason a young kid can be mentally ill. Two, trauma is more common than people think. I'll be covering the first problem in this post through the lens of my particular experience.

Where I live, you can be diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18 years old. You cannot be diagnosed with bipolar disorder as a minor. This poses a problem because my age of onset was in first grade, roughly six years old. Because of the fact that I was very young and new to the world, this was also the age of my first suicide attempt. Thinking I wouldn't be able to pass a spelling test genuinely felt like something worth trying to die over. So, I ate some hemlock, since I'd read about Socrates being killed with it. Luckily, I ate western hemlock, an unrelated species, and just felt kind of sick.

I'm not recounting that for fun or pity. I'm recounting it because children with mental illness are in genuine danger because they have little to no experience with managing their emotions, have little to no concept of the idea that their life can change and improve, and are dismissed by adults. I told a teacher that the test made me want to die, though not that I'd attempted to, and it was brushed off as little kid hyperbole. If I had used a method that was effective rather than one I thought would be, I would have been dead at six years old.

I would not receive medication that worked even a bit for another two years. I would not receive treatment for bipolar disorder specifically for ten years, and that required my PCP fudging the reason for the medication because she was afraid I would die if she didn't, and diagnosis was still two years off at minimum. I received a formal diagnosis at age 19, thirteen years after onset.

But surely that's uncommon, right? This story is a huge edge case, right? I actually have no idea, because age of onset and age of diagnosis are massively conflated for most disabilities. Policies like the one in my area that restricted bipolar diagnoses by age can artificially raise the age of "onset", in my case by thirteen years. The general idea that children are somehow immune to mental illness can also delay diagnosis by several years, perpetuating the idea that young children can't be mentally ill. The data on when people start experiencing mental illness is inherently skewed upwards, and I frankly don't have a good estimate on how bad that skew is. If anyone does have that data, please chime in.

Listen to children. If they're saying they're sad all the time, that they don't care about anything, that they don't see a future for themselves, those are signs of depressive symptoms. If they say that tests make them feel sick, that they can't do anything because they're scared, that they can't breathe and freeze up, those are signs of anxious symptoms. Many children talk about imaginary things, and that's just fine, but slip in a question or two about them to make sure that the kid is just playing, and not experiencing psychosis.

Children are new to the world and vulnerable, and they don't know what's normal and what isn't. They need people who are more experienced watching out for problems they might be having, and listening when they talk about having problems. If you can, try to be the person who perceives them, and tells them that things can be better.

[planetary-gus]

Some downsides to the demigods powers/just being a demigod in general

Quick TW, I advise you tread with caution because some of these can be darker than the rest

1. When Will heals he's literally putting a piece of his own health into someone's body, so if he goes too far he'll end up killing himself

2. All the Apollo kids have very very sensitive ears, which contributes to sensory issues, getting overwhelmed, and meltdowns

3. Hazel/the Hecate kids struggle separating reality from illusion sometimes and can be prone to psychosis and hallucinations

4. Hypnos kids very ironically have insomnia

5. Similarly, Poseidon kids are prone to dehydration

6. Zeus kids are obviously asthmatic

7. The Hades kids have hypermobility issues/hEDS

8. Any chthonic demigods also struggle with fainting disorders

9. Some Hermes kids have ironic navigation issues, and can never remember any directions they're given

10. Apollo kids can't lie even if their life is directly on the line

11. Aphrodite kids are prone to NPD and struggle to form relationships

12. Ares kids are just as prone to BPD or bipolar and struggle with vulnerability and letting people in

13. Rachel commonly dissociates and sometimes feels like her body isn't actually hers

14. Hazel has problems with stiff muscles and her body feeling like a rock itself

15. Frank sometimes forgets he's actually a person

16. Athena kids are prone to anxiety and panic disorders, paranoia, and agoraphobia

17. Reyna forgets she has an actual body of her own

18. Demigods in general are prone to POTS or autoimmune disorders

19. Leo is sensitive to any other kind of burn except fire (steamburns/carpetburn/sunburn/etc)

20. Nico is prone to hypothermia if he overuses his powers

21. Leo and Will are both prone to overheating from their powers

22. Iris kids are ironically either colorblind, or have the color perception a shrimp. There is no in between.

23. Dionysus kids often have ABS (Auto-Brewery Syndrome)

24. Hephaestus kids are prone to heat stroke/fevers

25. As well as issues with weakness and fragile bones/joints in their legs

26. Some Apollo kids can scream so loud they can burst eardrums or even stun those close enough, although this usually leaves them with raw, bleeding throats

27. Demeter kids are prone to scoliosis due to how frequently they need to bend down to garden

28. Hermes kids usually mask their real personalities with a "chaotic mask" so they usually forget what they're really like

29. Iris kids are very sensitive to light and often need to wear sunglasses just to be able to walk around because of retina sensitivity

30. Occasionally, Athena kids can experience degeneration in their optic nerves that can cause blindness and eventually spread to other areas of the body (bilateral optic neuropathy is what I believe it's called but feel free to correct me on that)

Add to this list as you please, and this was all just some silly things me an my gf thought of, I apologize if we upset anyone

[howlsofbloodhounds]

regarding Dust's depiction in the fandom.

i’m not sure if i’m the right person to speak on this, especially since my diagnosis has changed multiple times. at first, i was told i had hallucinatory delusional disorder—only to later be told that diagnosis doesn’t even formally exist. another psychiatrist changed it to bipolar II, and eventually, all of that was scrapped. i’m still in the process of trying to find real answers.

My therapist just told me that I don't even have delusions, just very extreme intrusive thoughts and severe depersonalization.

what i do experience is intense dissociation, and what could be described as “hearing voices,” though it’s not exactly a sound. it’s something between a thought and an external voice. sometimes i can hear a direction, or distinct tones like different people speaking, but what they’re saying rarely makes sense. it’s like fragments of a conversation, but the context is missing.

for me, what’s pushed me into dangerous territory hasn’t necessarily been the voices themselves, but the nightmares that come with them—and how much i’ve overanalyzed what they seemed to be telling me. trauma plays a huge role in how that spirals. i won’t go into it here, but it’s a big part of the picture.

that’s why i’d really love to see a more layered depiction of Dust. i actually have my own fanfic where i try to explore these kinds of things, but looking back, i worry that in trying to vent through him, i might’ve accidentally written something that came off as ableist. it’s hard to toe that line when you’re writing from pain.

i think what i want—more than anything—from portrayals of Dust is for his symptoms to go beyond just “hallucinating Papyrus.” i want to see the paranoia, the delusions, the intrusive thoughts, the nightmares, the flashbacks. the dissociation. the disorganized thinking and speech. the whole picture of what it feels like when your mind isn’t a safe place anymore.

right now, i’m still going through a diagnostic process. i’m crossing my fingers that i don’t get hit with another heavily stigmatized label—and honestly, that whatever i have is something treatable. but more and more, i feel like it all traces back to trauma. i relate to Dust so deeply it almost scares me sometimes, he has so much potential.

You and I are on the same page about wanting to see more depictions beyond hallucinations, although I was of course thinking of wanting to see more of those depictions with Killer.

Unfortunately, it’s very common in this fandom for Killer’s own psychosis to be ignored, overlooked, or just not know about—which is one reason why the common depiction of Killer making fun of Dust’s hallucinations doesn’t make any sense, given Killer hallucinates too.

And he has various forms of hallucinations, from vivid and real, to shadowy figures that watch him or attempt to reach out and touch him. He has full on and back forth conversations with “Chara” despite them not being real, when asked where Chara is he points directly at his own head—“it’s all in your head” is a common phrase associated with Killer.

He has flashbacks, hears multiple voices in his head in different ways—voices from flashbacks, the internal voices he relies on to make any choices on his own—he dissociates heavily, he experiences black out amnesia with Stage 4 and loses control over his own body. He struggles to tell what is and isn’t real thanks to the constant Resets, he constantly feels like he’s being watched by Chara.

He views himself as just something with Sans’ face. He often is showing having back and forth conversations internally and externally as if he’s watching himself argue with himself, his internal conflict is so severe that he sometimes even verbalizes it—which often comes out in confused, contradictory statements, especially when asked anything about himself. When asked how he’s feeling, he answers like “I’m fi—I don’t know. …I’m okay.”

And that’s just one example of it, the entire first page of the Something New comics shows his fragmented thought processes pretty clearly. He shows a deep awareness that something about him has changed, that he’s not the same as he was, but he doesn’t why and he doesn’t seem to know how to stop it.

He seems to struggle a lot with distressing cognitive dissonance, such as killing because he wants to feel something but knowing it doesn’t actually make him feel anything—seemingly believing he only exists because someone else wanted him to. [“Killer Sans exists because of you.”] Feeling more like a role or script than an actual person living a life.

All of this comes from both trauma, and externally induced dissociation + coercion, manipulation. This is a man who doesn’t know who or what he is anymore.

Both Murder and Killer are characters where their mind has become a deeply unsafe place, but for different reasons. For Murder it’s trauma and mental illness, for Killer it’s because of intense prolonged external control and manipulation—and as a result, he is suffering from trauma and mental illness. Even Killer’s own body has become his enemy.

[cannibal-nightmares]

Depicting Catatonia: Professor Stein, “Soul Eater”

There’s a common comment that schizophrenia is not well-represented in fiction, but at the top of my rather long list of accurate and mindful characterization is Professor Franken Stein from gothic comedy anime + manga, “Soul Eater,” although he is one of few in which it was not written verbatim into canon. As it’s been on my mind lately, I wanted to take a moment and highlight a symptom I have not otherwise expressly seen in other fictional characters, but is depicted multiple times throughout this shonen series: Catatonia.

I am not a doctor or healthcare professional, but I am speaking about catatonia from a personal and first-hand experience. While this can be a symptom of schizophrenia, it is not exclusive to a diagnosis of a psychotic disorder, and can have different origins or causes such as—but not limited to or is an exhaustive list of—depression, bipolar disorder, PTSD, and side effects of medication. Catatonia is a psychomotor syndrome, meaning there is a disruption between the conscious mind and the body’s ability to move or respond accordingly; someone in a catatonic state may seem like a statue, they will not move despite external stimuli (including minor pain) and may even hold seemingly uncomfortable poses against gravity (this is called “posturing"). In other cases, catatonia can present with mindless repetitive movements, echolalia, limited verbal response, inappropriate affect or grimacing, and echopraxia, among other symptoms and qualifications for definition and diagnosis. Something of important note regarding catatonia is that despite a person being unable to move or fend for themselves, they are often completely aware of what is happening in their surroundings. Catatonic patients continue to have their own thoughts and internal dialogue. Episodes can last for hours to days though, in some instances, can last for shorter or longer amounts of time.

s01e44: “Weakling Crona’s Determination – For You, For Always Being By My Side?”

In the events leading up to this scene, we follow Professor Stein as he falls into “madness,” as the series calls it. Our heroes arrive in time to find Stein completely motionless behind his captor, Medusa, even as she sits in his lap or when his safety is jeopardized. He does not move to fix his clothing, he does not react to imminent danger, and later we see him with an awkward gait, incongruent facial expressions, and an apparent difficulty to speak appropriately.

Chapter 39: “Internal Investigation (Part 2)”

This was one of two manga-exclusive scenes that confirmed to me that either Stein is schizophrenic, and/or that "madness" is starkly synonymous for psychosis. Here we have Spirit—Stein’s partner--checking in on him after he was interviewed by an internal investigator (as per the plot). The very first thing Spirit addresses to the audience is that Stein’s dialogue is at a minimum, it’s uncharacteristic of him not to be “bursting with curiosity.” Secondly, Spirit can’t help but point out the professor’s dazed stupor, immediately, then, followed by inappropriate laughter and an unsteady gait; the very first thing that was immediately apparent to me--even in the mere three panels before Spirit enters—was Stein’s posturing, uncomfortably and stiffly against the wall.

s01e35: “Mosquito's Storm! Ten Minutes to Fight in the World of the Past?”

Sometimes a person can actualize a catatonic episode coming on. In this episode of “Soul Eater,” Stein begins to collapse to the care of his partner, Marie, as his body becomes rigid. Seen a few moments later, Marie helps guide him to safety, only for him to fall face-down in the snow without the inclination to preserve himself, and remains there for several minutes. Further into the events of this segment, Stein has to be carried by a colleague despite not having been injured, but due to the apparent inability to move.

s01e37: “The Detective's First Case - Kid Exposes the DWMA's Secret?”

This scene startled me when I reviewed it as an adult, as it reflects my own experience in coming out of or falling into catatonia. In this scene, a student of Stein’s pays him a visit in his home, but the professor makes no formalities of getting up off of the floor, the state in which Kid found him in. Right before the two start conversing, Stein seems to struggle in moving even just his eyes to focus across the room. The scene progresses as Stein continually pauses in awkward poses. I quite enjoy this very specific instance in depicting catatonia because we get a chance to hear the professor’s thoughts: Stein is far more focused on worrying about his hallucinations than he is of his present company. Too, by the end of the episode, it’s almost as if his intellectual conversation with his student has helped ground him to the point of being able to draw a cigarette from his pocket.

s01e38: “Asura's Temptation - The Big Man's Uncontrollable Irritation?”

A remark of “Soul Eater” and its effectiveness. Since I watched the anime before reading the manga to completion, it was this scene that profoundly caught my attention regarding catatonia. In a rather disheartening posturing and stupor, Stein is seen seemingly stuck on the floor against his will, surely uncomfortably lying on his arm and on the cartoonish bolt propping his head up. He’s reaching out in blank terror to a hallucination, but this pose did strike my focus as an unusually certain characteristic to catatonic behavior. A terrifying additional note, as I’ve written this out, that despite in the previous episode, Marie eventually intervenes Stein and Kid’s conversation, it still almost feels as though Stein never moved from the floor continuing off the last time we saw him.

s01e40: “The Cards Are Cut – Medusa Surrenders to the DWMA?”

I wasn’t originally going to include this scene at all, but then I reviewed it. Despite that in this scene Stein holds a conversation with Medusa, we’re shown that he struggles to move to his own free will, even when his body contorts to a more awkward positioning. Too, even the villain points out to him that his voice is trembling as he can’t seem to bring it up to a normal volume.

Now, being that I am not a doctor of any kind, as I wrote this media analysis, I started to wonder what the differentiation or sort of dividing line and threshold between different presentations of catatonia and dissociation is or could be. I personally experience both, and while sometimes I can catch when debilitating dissociation will transition into a catatonic episode, I'm not quite sure if I can yet identify what the difference in nuance, feelings, or experience is between a more general dissociative state and one that will develop into catatonia. This being said, while catatonia has been acknowledged for over a century, there's still not that much information on it. Again, I am not a healthcare professional by any means, but I leave this post open for discussion.

[liveinblankets]

i want to give some extra love to littles with ""scary"" neurodivergences; the age regressors with forms of psychosis or bipolar or are on the schizophrenic spectrum or have ocd. i know it feels scary sometimes ♡ i know sometimes it feels like you shouldnt be included, but that is not true, and you are just as deserving to feel soft and small as anyone else. ♡ ♡♡

ⓘ dni : nsfw / 18+, gore, proship, pro-ed/sh, non-child-safe things, ddlg (etc.).

[spread-the-influence]

so how would you diagnose everyone actually im curious

well , there's the obvious ! i think pomni and ragatha has autism ( i feel like they get Too interested with stuff ) with ragatha having adhd ( that woman gets distracted easily i promise you ) , gangle has bipolar disorder ( it's literally written all over her ) , jax and zooble has aspd ( they both have that chronic boredom™ ) and everyone pretty much gets ptsd after the influence .

buttt , if we're getting detailed then . um ! slowly pulls in ragatha

Undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder - i'm sorry for dropping this fucking mouthful it's the psychology autism this woman has crushingly low self-worth to the point it's kind of concerning . like it's worrying how non-existent it is . she relies a Lot on others to replace her lack of self-worth and needs them more than they need her . also , she just fits a lot of the quiet bpd type . like , becoming obsessed with a specific person ? fear of rejection and being alone ? inwardly directed hostility ? taking small things personally ? having a hard time talking about your feelings ? extreme people pleasing ??? she's not beating both the woman enjoyer And bpd allegations as you can see All Of This got Exacerbated when she was infected

Tryphanophobia (Fear of Needles) - this one is just This AU's Ragatha thing so there's no canon evidence behind it . needles is an oversimplification but it's a big one — she just has a fear of anything medical really . especially anything related to surgeries . there's still a fear of centipedes because a ragatha is not complete without a fear of centipedes

Psychosis - psychosis isn't a Diagnosis but rather a condition that could be a symptom of a mental health disorder . i'm only putting it as just psychosis because i'm nooottt exactly sure what psychotic disorder this falls under as it's not exactly schizophrenia this only really got developed post-fluence . when stressed , she sometimes hears voices of the circus members , and sometimes she hears them . she also vehemently believed she might still be infected with the virus for a while . i like to sometimes think she gets a schizophrenia diagnosis when she's out of the circus (:

[church-of-echoes]

Being psychotic and nonhuman does not make you any less valid.

You are so loved.

I have Bipolar I with Psychotic features. I experience psychosis alongside being nonhuman. And sometimes my thought patterns are irrational, the way I act can be strange.

BUT. That does not mean that I am any less nonhuman because I deal with a condition I cannot control necessarily. My brain processes things differently than other people.

I know I am not human. I never will be. My mental illness does not stop me from being nonhuman.

Those with psychotic features, psychosis or are clinically insane who are nonhuman. Those with Bipolar disorder of any kind, including cyclothymia who are nonhuman. Those who experience a different reality. Those who deal with delusions or hallucinations who are nonhuman.

I see you. I feel you.

You are just as therian, just as otherkin or just as nonhuman as the rest of the community. Your identity is valid.

[thevoidgalactic]

Disabilities and Mental Health in Fractured Dreamscapes

A ramble by yours truly

Literally just me rambling about some of the disabilities my characters have, nothing serious-

Likely will contain spoilers for FD, but nothing major. Some of this is set during/after installments that I haven't written yet, but there's nothing really pertaining to the progression of the story

regardless, all of this will be under the cut, in case you'd like to read FD first (Linked in my pinned post).

enjoy!

Basically everyone in FD is disabled in one way or another, mentally and/or physically.

most, if not all of these, are important to their character or what they represent.

some of the less obvious ones i wanna mention are-

Artemis has peripheral neuropathy and uses a mobility aid.

Directly after Artemis was taken back home from Apathy, they hid in their room for the majority of the time, too afraid to interact with anyone and too exhausted to try. Naturally, this inactivity along with being trapped in Apathy (Wherein time functions differently) led to some health problems, the most prominent of which being neuropathy. It was difficult and sometimes impossible for them to walk after that due to numbness and joint pain. Eventually in the timeline, they start using crutches to get around with less pain.

Helios has stress induced psychosis.

There's already a fic about this! Atlas causes Helios a Shit Ton of stress and paranoia, which manifests as auditory and visual hallucinations, and nightmares/sleep paralysis. Now, this is primarily for the story, but it does have a little bit of real-world relevance. (although, real stress-induced psychosis is usually short term, while Helios's is long term)

Atlas has an unnamed condition.

Why is it unnamed? Atlas is the functional main character of FD and the catalyst for most of the events. As such, even if he's an ass, I do want some level of being able to project--so he exhibits a mixed range of symptoms that are usually shared between multiple conditions, including borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia, psychosis, bipolar disorder, and simple anxiety disorders and depression. Obviously, he isn't a perfect representation of any of these conditions, nor are any of these characters, as I'm not an expert. But i do try to do my research.

There are many more disabilities represented in FD, but i just wanted to ramble about these for a bit! If anyone knows more than I do, feel free to correct me (POLITELY).

ok bye

[crosseyedprayer]

have we considered lottie might be bipolar, not schizophrenic? if we're explaining her behaviour with mental illness I've personally leant towards bipolar due to how her hallucinations present and her other symptoms. we never (to my memory) see her hear voices; she has visual hallucinations and 'gut feelings' (delusions). There's a lot of overlap between bipolar psychosis & schizophrenia and seeing lottie enter a major depressive episode after being rescued without any signs of hallucinations? makes me think bipolar. this is a bit of a brainworm thought I've had since doing a unit on schizophrenia and i had to write it out but i obviously have no qualifications!!!!! i just have thoughts sometimes

[caseyscraftycorner]

hey folks, this is a long one, so before i get into it i'll just put the tldr here: i'm gonna be stepping away from social media for a while. i may still post sometimes, i (probably) wont disappear entirely. but i'm going to be taking a step back and focusing on my health for a bit.

okay, long version under the cut. CWs for bipolar one and psychosis.

i'm pretty open about my mental illnesses, at least the shapes of them, and that is not limited to tumblr. if anything, i am actually less open about them here than i am irl. there's several reasons for this openness, chief among them being that i believe it is good for people like me -- people who have "severe" or "scary" mental illnesses, who are seen as normal by others -- to be open about their experiences if they have the freedom and stability to do so safely.

in 2021, after about a decade of symptoms, i was finally diagnosed with bipolar 1 with psychotic and ocd features. with the diagnosis came treatment options that stabilized me so much that not only have i been stable since 2021, i also managed to quit therapy in 2022 -- and i had been in therapy since I was 7 years old.

bipolar as an illness is complicated. especially bipolar one, and especially with psychotic features. its a complication i managed to survive navigating for over a decade of no treatment, but it is, still, complicated. I experience severe depressions and worse manias. i also experience a particular hell known as "mixed episodes" which are basically all of the self-hatred of depression and all of the motivation and impulsivity of mania, which is about as dangerous as you would expect. add in the fact that i get psychosis basically instantly when i am manic (or mixed) and it becomes easy to see how this shit ends up really messy really fast.

now, as i said earlier, my medication works well for me. it has kept me stable for the last 4-ish years. but treating bipolar is always very tricky, and that is for three main reasons:

first, the medications are harsh and difficult to balance. too much and the side effects become unbearable, too little and they don't work. in addition, 'breakthrough episodes' -- mood episodes that occur while on medication -- are normal. it is essentially impossible to eliminate breakthrough episodes without worsening quality of life substantially. i (like many people with bipolar one) take enough medication that i don't get dangerously manic or depressed, and my little episodes are limited to no more than about a week or two a year.

second, bipolar, like many mental illnesses, is stress triggered. both my episode frequency and my episode severity are heavily tied to how stressed i am. if i can keep my stress minimal, i can keep my episodes infrequent and mild. i am, genuinely, very good at managing stress. i can take a lot before the consequences start to show.

third, like many with bipolar one, when i get a Bad Episode -- whether it's depression so bad i cant leave my bed or mania so severe i have lost touch with reality -- i have roughly 12-48 hours warning, and that's if im lucky. oh, and that warning comes in the form of mild mania or depression symptoms that i may or may not actually have the awareness to understand.

the reason i am spelling it out like this (besides, again, that i believe it to be important to talk about) is to demonstrate to you just how similar my brain is to a bomb. if i get too stressed and my medication cannot keep up with my symptoms, i will very rapidly enter an episode, and my episodes can become life-destroyingly severe near instantly.

everyone is stressed right now, because everything sucks. i don't need to explain that to you. but also, to call current events triggering is an understatement -- delusions i experienced for years are genuinely happening right now, and i can feel the pressure starting to build internally.

so. i'm taking a break. because i have to. because i can't not take a break right now.

i want to stress that i am safe. my husband has a good income and we have lots of savings, should we need them. i have friends and family and support to get me through this.

it wont be easy, not by any measure. but ive been through hell before. I know how to hunker down and keep myself alive, so that's what im going to do. and it'll suck, of course it'll suck. but i'll make it through this, and that's what's important right now: just making it through this.

[schizospec-culture-is]

professionally suspected schizoaffective(bipolar 1 type) culture is feeling like you're on the edge of psychosis at any given time, wondering if you truly just have these beliefs, or if it's just your psychosis again...

These thoughts blur and swirl, and sometimes the world around me does too. Who's to say it isn't just me seeing the world as it is, or who's to say it's just psychosis at this point...

I feel so intertwined with my psychosis sometimes that it feels like I am always more myself when I am psychotic, than when I am not...

-💫✨️

-

[the-bah-commune]

we are really sorry if this is too much or makes you uncomfortable but could we please get a level 5 factive of will wood (musician) ?? absolutely no pressure and feel free to deny /not forcing - will & star

so sorry but i didn’t have the time/energy to make art rn, and i didn’t want to make you wait even longer, so this will not have the doodle… partially a factive, partially based on his music’s vibes, hope that’s okay!

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name(s) ;; willard, william, moss, kellen, bruno

pronouns ;; ze/zem, he/him, neon/neons, any pronouns

age ;; 31

species ;; human

gender(s) ;; gender apathetic, multigender

sexuality ;; queer

role(s) ;; [some options…] dysphoria reliever, online/blog manager, socializer

source ;; will wood (factive)

sign-off(s) ;; ~WW ; 👁️🌀 ; W👁️W ; – will ; 🎹

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hex code ;; #0aff11

personality ;; eccentric and comedic. he is intelligent and witty, having skill with oration. ze’s creative and enjoys daydreaming and fantasizing. they can sometimes have erratic or manic behaviours.

bonus info ;; i imagine zem to be a subsystem with a brainmade demon alter (if you want me to make a pack for them just send in an ask!)

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likes ;; bowling, his source, audio dramas, neon colours, sugary coffee

dislikes ;; people who lack ambition, relaxing, churches

possible front triggers ;; bowling alleys, camp here & there

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cisid(s) ;; AMAB, masculine, bipolar disorder, brunet

transid(s) ;; blond, celiac disease, heterochromia, crutches user

trisid(s) ;; psychosis

kink/fetish/para(s) ;; objecto-, ficto-, pyro-, terato-

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kinlist ;; bruno madrigal (encanto), elias bouchard (the magnus archives), demonkin, arthur lester (malevolent)

playlist ;; “ferryman” - shayfer james & will wood / “shut me up” - mindless self indulgence / “your body, my temple” - will wood / “for the departed” - shayfer james / “the u & i in suicide” - that handsome devil

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