#(although that is oddly fitting in its own way)

[yo9urt]

ball dur's gait 3 is ruining my life

[joyfulcowboycandy]

The princess in the tower... And the dragon?

Malleus x Reader

❥ one shot

Content warning: murder, angst and fluff, malleus is very tall, hints of past sexual assault

fem reader

The princess in the tower… And the dragon?

This is how the story goes:

A beautiful princess from a faraway kingdom is kidnapped and held captive in a tower by an evil and strong dragon, and the knight must slay the dragon and save her from his evil clutches. The princess then falls in love with the strong knight who risked his life to save her, and they lived happily ever after.

This "princess," however, is far different from how the story is meant to go.

She is no princess at all.

Y/n is merely a common girl who ran away from a life of suffering, seeking refuge in a lonely tower in the middle of a desolate forest. She found solace here, safe from the cruelty of others. But the tower had a guardian of its own—a dragon. Not that she knew it at first.

The dragon was enormous, far too large to ever fit inside the tower, so at first, she thought she could stay without much trouble. After all, she reasoned, dragons don’t communicate with humans… Do they? If he wanted to harm her, he would’ve done so by now. Yet, despite his fearsome appearance, he never attacked her. Instead, he left her alone, merely resting atop the tower. He even brought her berries and fruits. It was confusing. Back in her village, dragons were supposed to be vile creatures—monsters of destruction.

But unlike the people she once knew, the dragon never hurt her. And that was all that mattered.

Back in her village, life had been anything but safe. Y/n was forever scarred by that one night, the night when she dared to speak up about the man who assaulted her. He was a respected figure, shielded by his reputation, while she was met with disbelief and scorn. Her cries for justice were silenced, twisted into accusations that she had tarnished his honor. Her family turned their backs on her, and the verbal abuse became unbearable. They accused her of lying, of bringing shame upon them. The whispers, the judgment, it all closed in on her, suffocating her until she could no longer bear it.

The fear of men had embedded itself deep in her heart, long before she ever arrived at the tower. Their leering gazes, their unchecked power—it had always terrified her. The man who hurt her wasn’t an isolated case. She’d witnessed the way men in the village treated women—like possessions, tools for their amusement, and nothing more. And her voice, like so many others, had been ignored.

The tower became her sanctuary, and the dragon… oddly enough, her only comfort.

He never tried to speak to her. He never tried to control her. He only existed, a quiet presence at the top of the tower. It was strange how she found herself feeling safe in his silent company, even if she knew nothing about him. There were no words exchanged, no gestures of friendship. But he brought her food, he never entered her space, and most importantly—he never tried to harm her.

The men who came after her, however, were nothing like the dragon.

One day, the peaceful silence was shattered by the sound of hooves pounding against the forest floor. Y/n’s heart jumped into her throat as she rushed to the window, peeking out just enough to see a knight approaching the base of the tower. A sinking feeling filled her chest as she backed away, trembling. He called out for her, and although she didn’t respond, she could feel his eyes tracking her every movement from below. The way he stared at her… it was enough to freeze her blood.

She didn’t want to face him, didn’t want him to come any closer. But when he started climbing up the tower, panic surged through her veins.

In his eyes, she was nothing more than a prize. A damsel in distress that needed saving. It disgusted her how these men—knights, they called themselves—felt entitled to her. They believed they could show up, kill the dragon, and take her hand in marriage as if she were a mere trophy. She’d seen that look in their eyes before. It wasn’t concern. It wasn’t compassion. It was desire. Lust. Greed.

She didn’t trust him. She couldn’t.

So, when he reached the top and looked at her with those hungry eyes, her fear turned into cold determination. She pushed him down the tower, watching as he fell.

The sickening thud echoed below.

It wasn’t the end, though. Someone found the body, and after that, more men came—knights in shining armor, each more eager than the last to claim the “princess” for themselves. None of them cared what she wanted. They were predators, and their so-called chivalry was nothing but a facade for their selfish ambitions.

They never once asked for her permission. They assumed their presence was wanted, that they had the right to "rescue" her. But she didn’t want to be rescued. She didn’t want them at all. And every time one of them climbed the tower, she pushed them down just the same. The rumors spread quickly—of a dragon killing knights left and right, all to protect the princess in the tower.

But she knew the truth. The dragon had done nothing.

In fact, the dragon had done more for her than any man ever had. He was gentle. He respected her space, and in return, she felt safer around him than she ever had with another human. It was strange, perhaps even foolish, to trust a dragon—an unpredictable creature of legend. But in his quietness, she found solace. He gave her berries and fruits, a kind of offering. Maybe the dragon, too, was lonely.

One evening, he left a clawful of berries by her window as usual. She hesitated for a moment before reaching out. With trembling hands, she touched his claw—a tentative gesture, a soft caress of gratitude. The dragon froze, as if startled by her touch. She could feel the cold, smooth surface beneath her fingers, the sharpness of his talons. Her heart pounded as she traced the lines of his scales, feeling a strange sense of connection.

Suddenly, he let out a low growl, pulling away quickly. Fear gripped her as she stepped back, her pulse racing in her chest. Did she do something wrong?

“T-thank you, dragon!” she stammered, her voice shaky with fear and something else—hope, maybe.

The dragon huffed, a deep, rumbling sound that reverberated through the air. Was it a response? She couldn’t tell. But she took it as one.

She watched him from the window, her eyes tracing his dark silhouette against the moonlit sky. For the first time in so long, she felt something other than fear—something closer to… peace. Maybe, just maybe, the dragon wasn’t as evil as the stories said.

Maybe they were both just trying to survive in a world that had been cruel to them.

˙ ✩°˖🫐 ⋆｡˚꩜

Several days passed like this—her exchanging brief touches and whispers, him delivering food and resting on the roof of her tower. Until one day, something changed.

She had been waiting for the usual sound of his wings flapping when she heard something else—a soft footstep. Startled, she spun around, expecting another knight who had somehow scaled the tower. But when her eyes fell on the figure at the entrance, she froze.

He was very tall, but not in the imposing, armor-clad way of the knights. His clothes were dark, elegant, and his presence felt… different. The horns on his head glistened in the dim light of the moonlight, curling like the very symbol of power. His eyes, sharp and glowing, locked onto hers, and yet, they didn’t hold that familiar lust or greed she had come to expect. They were curious… warm.

Her breath hitched, her mind racing. Who—no, what was he? He wasn’t a knight, not a man here to take her away. But he wasn’t just any ordinary human either.

"Who… are you?" she whispered, voice trembling, not from fear, but from uncertainty.

The man—no, the creature—tilted his head, eyes softening. He didn’t speak, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. It was familiar, almost as if she had known him all along.

It clicked slowly in her mind. The dragon. The same eyes, the same gentle aura. He had always been watching over her, not as a threat, but as a guardian.

"You're... him, aren't you?" she murmured, stepping closer. She noticed the slight huff of air escaping his nose, much like the dragon’s low rumble when she thanked him. Her fear melted, replaced with wonder.

Her hands, almost instinctively, reached up toward his face, fingers lightly grazing his jawline. He stood still, just like he did when she touched his scales as a dragon, as if allowing her to confirm what she already knew.

He brought his hand up to meet hers, softly guiding it against his cheek. The coolness of his skin startled her—so cold, it almost seemed impossible that he was alive. In contrast, her hand was warm, curling instinctively against him, feeling the soft tickle of his hair as it cascaded over his shoulder and brushed lightly against her fingers.

“I am,” he finally spoke, his voice low and rich, carrying a quiet power that resonated deep within her.

There was no doubt left. He was the dragon—the creature that had watched over her, protected her from the horrors of the world, and silently kept her company all this time. And now, he stood before her in this form, speaking, meeting her touch with a tenderness that was both startling and comforting.

"Why… why didn’t you tell me?" she whispered, her fingers still resting against his cold cheek, her voice barely more than a breath.

The corners of his lips twitched slightly, as if he wanted to smile but wasn’t used to it. His hand, still holding hers, gently lowered it from his face, though he didn’t let go. "You were afraid," he said, his gaze softening as he looked at her, the golden glow in his eyes dimming into something calmer, more serene. "And I did not wish to make you more so."

She swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. "Afraid?" She almost laughed, though there was nothing humorous about it. "Of the knights, maybe, but never of you. You…" Her voice cracked, and she paused, taking in a shaky breath. "You’ve been the only one I could trust."

For the first time in a long while, the truth was spilling out of her. All those months of isolation, of pushing knights off the tower in desperate fear, and yet somehow, she had found solace in him—a dragon, a creature who shouldn’t have had any reason to care about her. She couldn’t even understand why herself.

His thumb brushed over the back of her hand, a barely-there gesture, but one that sent warmth spreading through her. "I have watched over you," he said quietly, "and I have seen your strength." His gaze flickered, the glow intensifying briefly. "But I have also seen your sorrow."

She blinked rapidly, her breath catching in her throat. It was true—her life had been marked by sorrow for as long as she could remember. The betrayal of her village, the trauma that haunted her every waking moment, the men who tried to take what wasn’t theirs to claim. They all left scars, both visible and invisible, and for so long, she had felt alone in carrying them.

But with him… she hadn’t felt so alone anymore.

"I don’t know why I stayed," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "When I first came here, I didn’t know if you were going to kill me, or… or worse." She laughed softly, a bitter sound. "But I couldn’t leave either. There was nowhere else to go."

"You stayed because you found safety," he murmured, his voice almost a growl, but one laced with understanding. "You stayed because you are not like them."

Her gaze met his, and for the first time, she didn’t feel the familiar tightness in her chest that came with looking into the eyes of a man. He wasn’t like them either. He wasn’t like the knights who invaded her sanctuary with their hungry gazes and false promises. He didn’t look at her like something to be claimed.

Slowly, she pulled her hand back, though her eyes remained fixed on him. "I’ve never met anyone like you," she confessed softly, taking a small step back, though she wasn’t retreating. She was just… overwhelmed. "You’re… not human, are you?"

He shook his head. "No. I am not."

She studied him for a long moment, her eyes tracing the curve of his horns, the ethereal glow of his eyes, the way he stood so still, so calm, so unlike any man she had ever known. And then, as if the weight of everything suddenly caught up with her, she let out a shaky breath. "I don’t know what to say," she whispered, her voice cracking with the weight of all the emotions swirling inside her.

"You don’t have to say anything," he replied gently. His voice was like the rumble of distant thunder, soft but powerful. "I will not force you to speak."

She bit her lip, her gaze lowering to the floor as she tried to collect her thoughts. "I just… I feel like I’ve been running for so long. Hiding." Her voice broke on the last word, and she quickly swiped at the tear that slipped down her cheek, hating how vulnerable she felt in this moment.

Malleus watched her in silence, his eyes never leaving her, though his expression never changed. He wasn’t judging her. He wasn’t pitying her. He was just… there, with her, in this moment. And that alone made her feel a strange kind of safety she hadn’t known in a long time.

"You don’t need to run anymore," he said quietly, his voice a low murmur that seemed to reverberate in her chest. "Not from me."

Her breath hitched, and for the first time, she felt the warmth of hope flicker inside her, fragile but present. Could it really be that simple? Could she really stop running? Stop hiding? It had been so long since she felt safe, truly safe.

And yet, here he was, the dragon she had once feared, now standing before her as her protector.

Tentatively, she reached out again, her fingers brushing against the fabric of his sleeve. "Then… stay," she whispered, her voice so soft it was almost lost in the stillness between them. "Don’t leave me alone."

His gaze softened further, and for a brief moment, something flickered in his eyes—something she couldn’t quite place, but it warmed her all the same.

"As you wish," he replied, his voice as soft as the night air around them. "I will stay."

[cevansbrat0007]

Off the Market

Summary: Ari learns that you're not the sharing type. Which is fine by him, because neither is he.

Warnings: Mature Themes, Ari Being A Menace, Jealous/Possessive Reader, Oral Sex (mentioned), Discussions of Public Sex, Mentions of Disordered Eating, Polite Fat Shaming, Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: This story is part of my Sweet Renegades Series. Be sure to check out the follow-up fic, A Man Starved. Not beta'd. Not beta'd. All mistakes my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

“So?” You ask before taking another sip of your milkshake. The thick and creamy treat goes down easy, which makes the amount of time it took to get to you well worth it. “What’s the verdict?”

“Not bad.” Your companion mumbles as he eagerly gulps down his own shake. “Not bad at all. But just so we’re clear, drinkin’ one of these isn’t gonna get you out of our deal.” He stirs the drink with his straw before plucking out the cherry and popping it in his mouth. “Remember you swore on it.” He holds up his pinky finger as a reminder.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, sugar.” You tell him as a smile flits its way across your lips. Without thinking, you go to feed him your own cherry. You find yourself giggling at the way he playfully nips at your fingers, his tongue lapping at the traces of whipped cream. 

There went your big Beast of a man proudly living up to his nickname, as per usual. Thank goodness you were the only couple dining outside today.

“Hey. How come yours tastes better?” Ari pouts suddenly, sending you into another fit of giggles.

“We got the exact same thing, honey.” You roll your eyes at him before returning your attention to the menu in your hand.

“Bird?” His growl comes out soft and silky. And it immediately has you on high alert. Because you recognized that tone. 

It meant you were in trouble.

“Um, yes?” You try ducking your head behind the oversized, laminated piece of paper. Maybe if he couldn’t see you anymore, he’d just let it ride.

“Did you just do what I think you just did?” 

“Well, I suppose that depends on what you think I just did.” You sneak another sip of your chocolate shake, doing your best to forget about all the extra unnecessary calories you’re putting into your body right then. After all, you and your man had a deal. And you aimed to see it through. 

“I think you just rolled your eyes at me.” Ari rests his elbows on the table, leaning forward on his arms in an attempt to get your attention. “Now, just because I gave you a pass back the boutique–”

You blow out an annoyed breath. “That wasn’t my fault! You kept making me model the most ridiculous pieces for you, even when I knew they wouldn’t fit.” You peek out from behind your menu long enough to scan the area for Stella, your waitress. Of course she’s nowhere to be found. 

Which, oddly enough, was fine by you. There was just something about the woman that seemed to ruffle your feathers a bit. Although you couldn’t quite put your finger on the reason why. 

“Except they did fit.” Your bounty hunter surprises you by yanking the menu from your grasp. He then tosses both yours and his onto a nearby empty table. “And maybe if you would’ve allowed me into the fitting room with you earlier, we could’ve scored you another bathing suit. I still think we should go back for that sweet little black and white number. That ass was made for it.”

“It was too small. Just like the other ones.” You counter, feeling your cheeks heat at the intimate praise. The burn only intensifies when you recall the way he’d simply let himself into the fitting room after you’d vetoed your third bathing suit. It had been his pick, which meant he felt that he was well within his rights to, as he put it, “see for himself”.  

One Hour Earlier

“Baby.” He said, chuckling softly. “If a woman expects a man to wait outside and do it patiently, then perhaps she ought to give him a little show.” When you balked he’d simply shrugged and picked up an ice blue monokini before handing it over to you, silently demanding that you try it on. With him right there in the flippin’ fitting room. 

And he hadn’t felt the least bit compelled to help preserve your modesty by looking away as you’d changed. Instead, he’d had the gall to take a seat in a chair that was tucked away in a corner.

“This is completely inappropriate!” You hissed, clutching the forgotten suit to your chest. “Wh–what if someone comes by?” 

“Then I expect you’ll have to be quiet then, won’t you?” He held a finger to his lips, playfully shushing you. “That way it stays our little secret. Now, how about you model the pink one for me?”

“I’ll model whatever you want once we get back to your place.” You tried, your entire body had been practically vibrating with embarrassment. 

“Nah. I’m afraid that ain’t gonna work for me.” Ari had leaned back in his chair then, leisurely crossing his long legs over his ankles. “See, this Beast of yours is itchin’ for some instant gratification.” He’d locked his fingers together before resting them on his firm stomach. “And I ain’t leavin’ until I get it.”

“Guess we’ll be in here for a long time then, huh?” You’d responded rather snippily. “Because I’m not about to–”  

“You know, sweetheart, now that I’m thinking about it, I just realized you haven’t fed me yet today.” 

“I thought we were gonna grab a bite after..?” The knowing look that passed between you two had been enough to make you feel weak in the knees. “Umm...”

“You know how I get when you make me go too long without a taste.” His piercing blue eyes had dropped to your (thankfully) still panty clad pussy. “I’m gonna need a fix, baby. And soon.” You’d watched him cup his impressive cock through the fabric of his jeans. “Otherwise I might start gettin’ antsy.” The silky purr of his voice alone had been enough to have your thighs clenching.

“Don’t – ooh! Behave yourself, damn you!” You’d done your best to ignore the way your core had spasmed with need. “There will be no funny business in this fitting room. You are not getting us kicked out of this store, Beast!”  

“But I’m hungry now. Starving actually.” He’d pressed, a wolfish grin spreading across his features. “And all I can think about is sinking to my knees and burying my face in that gorgeous pussy. Right here. Right now.” 

You'd watched as he rose from his seat, his big body crowding your smaller one. “Wanna taste all that sweet, wild honey of yours when you cum on my tongue like a good girl.” You’d also squealed none-too-quietly when he pinned you against the wall. 

And although the man had seen fit to warn you of his plan, you still hadn’t been prepared for his boldness. Even less so when he dropped to his knees in front of you, his nimble fingers tugging at the edges of your panties.

“Ari…” You'd breathed, rising on your toes to graze your lips along his bearded jaw. “We can’t. Not here. Patience, sugar.”

“Like I told you, I’m about out.” He’d responded on the heels of a groan. “But I might be able to find some more. Maybe. But only if…”

“If what?”

“If you stay the night once we get back to Bell’s Creek. I wanna spend the rest of the evening getting all tangled up in you. Especially after I managed to work up such a sweet tooth.” Ari had brushed mouth over your covered mound, loving the way your nipples pebbled at his words - his touch.        

“I accept your terms.” You’d told him with a soft giggle as heat suffused your cheeks. “Now let me go so I can model these last few for you. It’s about time we get a move-on to our next stop -- no more kisses. Oh God, Ari! Be patient!”

“I’m not trying on another thing after I stuff my face, honey.” You mumble as you take another sip of your drink. “We’ll just have to come back another time. Plus, you’ve already spent more than enough on me.” 

“You’re worth it.” 

“You should’ve at least let me pay for half.” You start to protest, feeling uncomfortable with being doted on in such a way.

“Already said no. And you ain’t payin’ for lunch either, so you’d best not get that pretty mouth all twisted up to ask.” 

“How about we–” You find your conversation interrupted by the arrival of your waitress, Stella. 

“Hey, ya’ll!” She chirps as she comes around the corner, her blonde ponytail bouncing behind her as she finally makes her way to your table. “Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. How are those shakes treating you, hm? Pretty good?”

“They’re great.” You and Ari respond at the same time. 

“I just knew you’d love ‘em!” She responds rather animatedly, her freshly manicured fingers lightly brushing over Ari’s shoulder. He doesn’t seem to notice. But you do. Because it’s not the first time it’s happened. “Looks like you’re doin’ alright over there, handsome. Can I get you another one?”  

“No, thank you.” Your Bounty Hunter hums, his gaze locked on the menu as he works to make a final decision. “But I do think we’re ready to order.” 

“Yep.” You readily agree, even as your eye twitches. “We sure are.” 

Stella makes an innocent show of turning away from you, her gaze focused on Ari. “I bet a big, strapping fella like you would be interested in one of our steaks. Our beef is grass-fed and sourced locally. Which means it’s always fresh, never frozen.”

“Actually, I think we’re both gonna have–” You attempt to interject, only to be shut down without so much as a glance in your direction. 

“Did you happen to see our line of Skinny Gal Salads, buttercup? They come with all the flavor, but only half the calories. They’re listed on page two if you wanna take a gander while I walk your lovely friend here through tonight’s specials featuring our signature porterhouse.” 

Your waitress’ audacity hits you so hard you almost feel a headache coming on as an unexpected fury burns in your belly. A belly that could probably stand to benefit from one of those so-called Skinny Gal salads, but then again that would go against the deal you’d made last night.

Which involved you and your man enjoying a couple of worry-free milkshakes and bacon cheeseburgers. You’d promised that you would try to relax and not get so caught up in all of that internal calorie counting like you usually did.

So, like it or not, a deal was a deal and you aimed to see it through. Regardless of what your waitress had to say about it. And if the woman was smart, she’d take her hand off your man’s arm before something happened to it.

“Now handsome, did I hear you say you were visiting from Bell’s Creek?” Your waitress cocks her hip against the table while she ignores you in favor of cozying up to your Beast. “Because it just so happens that I have a friend there that I like to visit from time to time. Do you happen to know–” 

“Actually, I’ve heard amazing things about your barnyard cheeseburgers. So I think we’re gonna have two of those with bacon. Extra bacon. Please.” You tack on the last word, which is spoken through gritted teeth. 

Finally, Stella turns to you and offers a patronizing smile. “Can I interest you in a side salad with that, buttercup? It comes with a spritz of our homemade red wine vinaigrette.”

Ari sits back in silence, apparently content to watch whatever the fuck was transpiring between you and this bottle blonde heifer with a notepad. Which was fine. You were a big girl who knew how to take-up for herself when the situation called for it.    

“I want fries, sugarplum. But who knows, my friend might want one of those skinny ass salads to go with his meal. Does that sound good to you, baby?” While your eyes never leave hers, you manage to catch a glimpse of a smile from your companion. 

“I, uh, would also like fries.�� He coughs. You can tell he’s trying not to laugh, which only serves to piss you off even more. “But thank you.”

“That’ll be all, honey.” You politely growl, snatching Ari’s menu from him before your waitress could use it as an excuse to touch him again. “We’ll let you know if you need anything else.”

“But you haven’t heard the specials.” Stella turns back to Ari, a soft pout gracing her plump lips. “It just might change your mind. You might find yourself wanting something…better.”

Oh, no the fuck she did not. Your man was fine with his choice. You. The burger. All of it. Be gone, bitch!  

“We’re good.” You snap, seething inwardly. “You couldn’t possibly have anything more special than what he’s already got goin’ on in front of him, right here. Right now.”

Your waitress stares you down, but you refuse to be the one to blink first. If your eyes gave up and fell out, you had faith Ari would collect them for you before safely guiding you home. Your man was a gentleman like that.

“I guess I’ll go ahead and get these orders in. Two burgers, heavy bacon, coming right up.” The smile she gives you now is much more brittle and it doesn’t meet her eyes. But you also can’t bring yourself to give a fuck.

This woman needed to remember to stay in her lane before you ran her off the road.         

“Thanks.” 

“Welcome.”

And then she’s gone. You find your glaring at her retreating form. You’re actually in the middle of fantasizing about what would happen if you took a pair of scissors to her annoying ass ponytail when you hear your name being called.

“What?” You snarl as Ari comes back into focus. And what the hell was he grinning about? Didn’t he realize that that pretty face of his was in slapping distance?

“You’re really something, baby.” He murmurs, his gorgeous blue eyes dancing with mischief. “You know that?”

“Meaning?” At the moment, you were in no mood for anyone else’s bullshit.

Ari leans forward in his chair as one of his big hands comes to rest atop yours. “I just meant…I’ve never seen you jealous before. It just surprised me a little is all.” He finishes with a shrug. “I didn’t expect for you to…to…”

“Didn’t expect for me to do what, Beast?” Your tone softens as you watch his head dip, his bearded cheeks tinged with red. He perks up when you give his hand an affectionate squeeze, flipping your positions slightly so you can lace your fingers through his. 

“Claim me.” 

Those two simple words are enough to send you reeling. Is that really what you had just done?

“It’s no secret that I like you, Bird. A lot.” His voice drops an octave as he works to explain himself. “Every time I see you, it’s like there’s something in me deep down inside me that screams mine. I guess I wasn’t sure if you felt the same way about me. Until now.” 

Was he being serious? Of course he was! This man had never struck you as the type to joke about any of this.

“I like you too, Ari. But what I didn’t like was watching our waitress flirt with you like I wasn’t even here. I almost fucked her up with my spoon for touching what’s mine.” Ari’s perfect teeth sink into his plush bottom lip, his nostril’s flaring as his mind works to process your admission.

“Say that again.” The command rumbles out from somewhere deep in his chest, compelling you to obey. “Louder”

“You’re mine, Ari Levinson. For today. Tomorrow. For however long this magical thing between us lasts – you belong to me.” You breathe, butterflies filling your belly. “You’re officially off the market, you got that?”

“I hear you, Bird. Loud and fucking clear.” The grin on his face soon proves to be infectious. “And you have no idea just how happy I am to hear you say that.” Ari opens his arms to you then, beckoning you forward.

The next thing you know, you’re up and moving before you’ve even registered what’s happening. All you knew was that your man needed you. Which meant you needed to go to him. Now.

“I always want you, Ari. Even when I shouldn’t.” You tell him as you gracefully slide into his lap, looping your arms around his neck as you do. 

“I know the feeling.” Ari murmurs, brushing his mouth over yours. “Which is why I want to do something special once we get back to Bell’s Creek. Before I have to leave again.” The startled look on your face has your Bounty Hunter rushing to finish his thoughts before you can verbalize your confusion.

“What do you–?”

“I’m only gonna be gone a few days, baby. Three, maybe four, tops.” One of his large, slightly calloused palms presses against the back of your neck, drawing you in closer to him so that he can take your lips again.   

“Oh.” Comes your lame reply.

“I’m coming back to you, Bird.” Ari rests his forehead against yours as you try to calm your racing heart. “You have my word. But I still wanna do something special for you – for us – before I go. Will you let me do that without a fight?”

“Okay.” 

“Okay.” Feeling content, Ari leans in to capture your mouth with his own once again. After behaving himself all day, it was time for his reward.

“Wait.” You place your hand on his chest, halting his advances. “You’re still mine wherever you go. I don’t care if it’s fucking Siberia.” You grab a fistful of his shirt, hauling him forward. “You’ll still be mine there too. You with me?”

“Fuck yeah I am.” Ari growls, using both of hands to cradle your face as he slants his lips over yours once again. The kiss is as passionate as it is raw. Your tongues dance together, both fighting for dominance. But this time your Beast lets you win.

Desire burns in your belly as you savor the sensual victory. You bury your fingers in his hair, tugging at the chestnut strands. Meanwhile, one of Ari’s hands goes to grip your hip, making you moan when he gently molds and kneads your curves. 

Jesus Christ! You suddenly felt as if you were wearing too many clothes. 

His lips skim along the column of your throat as you pant. You were always so fucking needy for him all the time. It made it almost impossible for you to resist him during moments like these.

You’re so lost in each other that you don’t even bother to look up when you hear footsteps approaching. “Will these be separate checks or…oh.” You hear your waitress stammer as she tries to collect herself. “I’ll, um - I'll just bring the one.”

Ari briefly pulls away, eliciting a soft whine from you. “Thanks. And while you're at it, we’ll be taking our food to-go.” 

“Bye, Stella.” You giggle as you give a little wave before playfully nipping at his jaw, not even bothering to glance over at the other woman’s face. You knew it was petty, but staking your claim on this man in front of your so-called rival felt so damn good. Especially after a day like today.

Frankly, the only way it could get any better was if you could make yourself utter those three magic words – the same ones you’d been practicing in the mirror last night. But right now they simply wouldn't come. They kept getting stuck in your throat.

Oh well. Guess you’d just have to try again tomorrow.

END

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[trashmouth-richie]

⁂ 𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐡 + 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥 || a mini series || eddie x you

“soul ties” based but with a spin — part 1

part 2: i’m your dream, make you real

chapter summary: back story on reader and the history of the ‘souls’, the girl sadly wonders why she suddenly can't stop thinking of eddie munson; eddie spends the night nursing a migraine and trying to remember what that girls name was… the same girl who he can’t seem to get out of his head. oddly enough, both eddie and the girl feel terribly ill— a symptom of rejecting the soul tie. also WAYNE! Yay!

 [series summary: reader and her lover are souls bound to one another for eons and eons, they always find their way back to one another no matter how long it takes or what bodies they might be in, but when reader feels the magnetic pull of her other half and wills the girl’s body she is in to find her lover— the body her lover belongs to is a boy— none other than the meanest boy in hawkins, eddie munson] 

trigger warnings: 18+ smut, bisexual! eddie, mean! eddie, shy! girl, smut. etc eddie the girl are both 18 in this story, drug use, talks of addiction, prison etc.

reader (you) are a “soul” in this story, meaning you are only bound to the body you are inhabiting during this lifetime. The girl will have features mentioned— but again— you (the reader) are a soul, which i imagine to be a flame of all colors. 

You had no control over how, when or where you would appear in a new body. It was never the same timeline. one minute you were floating in a sea of stars on a blackened canvas, the next you were viewing their world from the way they envisioned it. 

The body could be brand new, shiny and soft skinned, no marks of life on its petal-like skin. Sometimes the body was weathered, having seen many moons and decades and you arrived when they needed you most. Years before you had come here, the body you lived in was impaired, seeing nothing but marooned eyelids, navigating the earth with the four other senses. 

Shapes and colors could vary from one body to the next, but inside they all remained the same. The only difference were the souls.

Some of the souls you had encountered weren’t pure. They had a darkness rolling through them that made the bodies they live in do unspeakable, horrific things. 

The malum, as they were known were tainted with vile evilness. Instead of being made with licks of pretty sparkled flame, the malum were created with sharp edges, a singular dark hole in the center showing their emptiness. Compassion was lost from them, all they knew was destruction and how to use the body to their own advantage. 

They could change their appearance, tricking others into loving them.  And although it had been awhile since you’d come across one, you were always weary. Hence, the boy with the fast car from last year.

You were even thankful to come to this girl, the sad lonely girl who just wanted to be loved… her heart tie within reach…but then he rejected her!

That stupid boy and his dumb hair was ruining everything! This was wrong— this was all wrong! It never went this badly before. All it took from the others before this girl and this boy was to feel the “special” pull. The tug of that tiny invisible string that was nearly impossible to ignore. 

Different species, different sex, it didn’t matter! The pull always worked. You sat and stewed in the girl's brain, running laps around her mind, showing her images of the boy, the one she was destined to be with. 

It was deeper than love, stickier than the cotton candies of a carefully woven fate, her heart belonged with his! Plain and simple. You hoped your other half was doing the same with that long haired boy, making his head split and pop like a sunflower seed. 

You could bet that he didn’t know how sad she was. He wouldn’t know that she had cut her tutoring lesson short with Max because the concentration for basic algebra just wasn’t there.  

You could do this, you could make them both see how they belonged together, that they fit like a puzzle and complemented each other like the stars do the moon, despite their differences, or walks of life. 

Time was all you needed, and thankfully they both were guaranteed to be in the same building for almost eight hours a day, five days a week. 

“Are you okay?” 

Eddie had been staring at his mac n cheese for nearly ten minutes. Each tick of the clock squeezed his head like a vice. He had been fixated on something he couldn’t quite grasp. As if he were in a fuzzy dream where punches didn’t land and he coincidentally had the winning lottery ticket. 

A name. 

It’s all he was trying to think of, but he couldn’t for the life or death of him remember it. 

Beth? Kay? Maybe… Yeah.. Kay sounds right—nope Kay was that smokin’ hot foreign exchange student last semester. Jesus Christ, who the hell is that girl?

Wayne watched with his bushy eyebrows raised into the sparse bits of hair left on his head as his nephew drug his spoon counter-clockwise then clockwise through the cheesy valley of noodles, not saying a single word other than the occasional grunt or mumbling a series of consonants and vowels through the entirety of supper. 

His head had spun all day. A loose paper boat down a sewer drain to awaiting clown claws had a better success rate in survival than the absolute collegiate level of  nonsense he was trying to get his brian to spark. No matter what he did he couldn’t get that girl out of his head. 

Maybe if he could put a name to her face—he had thought that would settle it. Then he could finally fucking move on. But alas, it was as if his brain left on vacation… or maybe those drug scare ads were right and his brain cells were actually fried.  

“Something wrong with the food, Ed?” Wayne asked around a mouthful, “thought you loved dogs with mac n cheese.” 

Eddie went class by class in his head imagining the seats of every girl who occupied them. In Geography there was Tiffany, Alice, Wheeler, Robin, Barbara, and Chrissy. 

This is fucking stupid, he thinks. She could be a year or two below him in school, but goddamnit what was her name?

He could memorize DnD manuals, a whiz at math especially percentages for his.. hobbies. But a simple name to a girl he’s seen a dozen times falls short. 

Dropping the metal spoon with a loud clunk, he groans, throwing his head in his hands. “I’m fine, Wayne.” 

He wasn’t, along with his head pounding like the hammering tune of a chainsaw, he had felt nauseous all day. Like a hangover that never seemed to end, or that time he had the stomach flu last year and missed a week of school. 

But this wasn’t the flu, and it wasn’t a hangover. It was a nagging feeling in his head and a rip to his gut. 

“You sure?” Wayne tested cautiously, “Y’ know I don’t have many rules here.. and I don’t care that you smoke in the house, but son if you’re doing something… more than that… I…” Wayne shakes his head, his voice growing earnest, “I just don’t want you to end up like your old man ‘s all.” 

“Jesus, Wayne,” Eddie groaned, scrubbing his hands down his face, he hadn’t touched that shit his dad was caught with, and was currently serving a sentence for, ever. 

“I’m not doin’ anything like that, okay? I just… GOD—” he ran thick ringed fingers through his hair and cursed again when the rings got tangled, huffing through his nose like a bull, “I feel like shit!” 

Wayne relaxed a bit in his chair, a chuckle in his throat at his nephew's theatrics, “eat then, you’ll feel better.” 

Eddie shoved his plate away,  synchronizing the metallic dragging scuff from the chair’s legs across the cheap linoleum floor with a grumble of ‘m not hungry. 

His long legs seemed to tangle under themselves as he stood and he caught his shoulder hard on the wall, the drag of soft cotton down a plywood wall muffling his curses as he headed to bed. 

Face first he landed into the worn and spring heavy mattress, the smell of weed and spiced deodorant engulfing him. Leather scuffed boots still on his feet from when he drove to Rick’s for his weekly supply. The pounding against his skull was dull, twisting like a knife and it just wouldn’t quit.

Nose crushed in the misshapen pillow, Eddie throws his hand out hazardly to the nightstand. His fingers skid around the scattered DnD dice, a crusted half eaten sandwich from the night before and the sharp foiled  edge of a ripped corner from a Trojan from when—yeah, whew…that was a great night.

Finally, his fingers wrap around the cool steel of his zippo lighter. 

Without looking up, he flicks the pad of his thumb against the wheel igniting a flame to be sure there’s enough fluid. Groaning again he slides a hand into his jeans and pulls out the little bag he had gotten from Rick.

Movements that were taken for granted were now causing sweat to pool in the middle of his back, his temples dripped as a tickling bead of sweat wove a path down his chin. 

Whatever illness that was currently plaguing him was one like nothing before, and he only hoped his last vice of getting out of his mind with the sweet burn of a joint into his lungs would help. 

Slotting it between his lips he flicked the lighter and inhaled as much as his lungs could take. 

The girl drove home in silence. A salty drip of steady tears stinging her cheeks from the bite of the breeze that seeped through the cracked open car window. She didn’t understand why on this particular day he had burrowed so far under her skin, and even though he was rude, per usual—she couldn’t let it go. 

A horn honked behind her at the stop sign before she realized she had been staring at the steering column, foot pressed on the brake. Tears dripped onto the apples of her cheeks and she wiped at them with the sleeve of her cream colored cardigan, leaving flecks of mascara behind. 

Blowing out a blubbery sigh she eased her car forward and drove along the wet pavement of Hawkins, vision blinded by traitorous tears for the boy who didn’t deserve them. 

She ate her supper in a sad silence— fork balancing green beans gone cold. The girl sighed with a hand resting into her palm, watching the fall leaves plucking themselves free in the front yard. 

Her mind played that scene at Eddie’s trailer over and over. The way he practically bit her head off, how easy it was for him to dismiss her as a nuisance. She could feel the heat blossoming on her cheeks, how it had practically burned like his eyes did when they looked at her. 

Eddie was like that with everyone at school, so it really shouldn’t have been a surprise to her. But it was. And tears started again as she thought of why he was so mean.

“…see Mom! She hates green beans so much she’s crying about them!” 

The girl shook her head and blinked back the tears, “‘m not crying you little turkey,” she bites back, shoving her younger brother with her elbow, “just.. had a long day, ‘m tired.” 

“Well,” her mother protested, pressing a cloth napkin to the corners of her mouth, “why don’t you run a bath and go to bed early?” 

Nodding, she excused herself quietly from the table and walked the plush carpeted path to the upstairs bathroom. 

More tears began to roll down her cheeks as she climbed each step, a tingling in the nape of her neck made her skin feel boiling hot. The further up she went the worst she started to feel. 

I’m probably getting the flu. She thought to herself, Hawkins High had more than fifteen students out with it last week, and it would make sense that she too would fall victim to it. But the flu wouldn’t make her cry for no reason, no— a sickness wouldn’t have her feeling like she was nothing. 

But those dark brown eyes could. 

Thinking of her encounter today just made it worse, but she couldn’t turn it off. She welcomed the warmth from the water to seep through her bones after the tub was filled and she slipped gingerly into the water. 

Hoping the steam would will away the awful empty feeling in her stomach,  she let herself fully submerge, her wet brown hair feeling like the bottom of a silky moss covered lake. 

She laid under the water for what felt like hours, no sound, just her racing thoughts to keep her company.

Maybe I’m getting my period? She thought after taking a few winded deep breaths and sitting up in the water. 

It would explain why she was so irrationally upset about all of this. It was plausible. And maybe the burning flames of hell's butterflies in her stomach was because she had barely eaten anything for supper.

It definitely wasn’t the fact that Eddie seemed to radiate like a neon light in space the second he opened that door, and she was like a moth to his flame. One that was quickly swatted away. 

Eddie Munson. 

Standing and wrapping a towel around herself she hit the drain and stepped from the tub onto a peach colored bath mat. 

His face played like a movie in her head. A montage of him and only him. The cocky gait he strutted down the hallways, hollering at the jocks to get the fuck out of his way. The jingling swish of that chain linked wallet in the back pocket of his jeans, a soft black bandana in the other. 

Eddie. 

Wiping condensation from the mirror she shakes her head. What the hell? Never. Not once in her entire life had she thought about Eddie Munson. Even thinking his name made her stomach lurch like she might be sick. 

Wait. No, she was going to be sick. 

She makes it just in time to lift the seat on the toilet before she vomits violently into the bowl, tears leaking from her eyes with every retching heave her body produced. 

She hears her name buzzing in her ear. Once, twice, three times and she knows her mother is behind those calls on the other side of the door.

“‘m okay, Mom,” she gasps, “just the flu, it’s been going around—” 

And normally where her mother would have come in to rub her back, ask if she needed anything— she doesn’t. 

Flushing the toilet she looks over her shoulder, “Mom?”

No answer.

Rising from her knees she walks to the door and opens it, “Mom?” 

Nothing. 

Maybe she was hearing things, but she swore her name was said loud and clear. 

Smoke billowed around Eddie’s room, hanging like dense clouds from an oven fire. Either his tolerance was higher or the bud from Rick was skunked— because after smoking three joints back-to-back-to-back, he still couldn’t feel anything. 

Not even a tiny little buzz or the hazy droop of his eyelids forming into slits. That sickening pounding kept its beat along his chest and into every vein in his body, unrelenting in its ravage upon him. 

He thought of the times he had seen her. Where was he standing? What section of lockers was she shoving books into? 

Sandra? Beth… no he already said that. Fuck. 

It’s not until he laid flat on his back a few minutes later, the short remnants of paper flickering from the last bit of the joint burning close to his fingers. Eddie closed his eyes in complete solitude, and that’s when it clicked. 

Shuffling on what felt like broken legs to his closet, Eddie wedged the door open on its broken track. Every muscle in his body screamed in agony, he felt as if he had ran a marathon, backwards. 

His tongue was out between his lips as he concentrated on his task at hand. Rifling through heaps of clothes, old shoes, playboys with dog eared pages. He was elbows deep in the depths of his closet, searching for what he had tossed in here at the end of last year. 

The pads of his fingers feel the textured cover under a halloween mask and he yanks it free stumbling backwards and tripping over his amp, landing hard on the floor. 

He doesn’t wait to be in a more comfortable position on his bed or even sitting up straight before he holds the book over his face and flips open the cover of Hawkins High 1985 Go Tigers!, his yearbook. 

Pages and pages he skimmed through. Freshman class, Sophomore class, pictures of every sport from Fall to Spring, Band, Choir, The school newspaper… he was about to give up after he saw his own picture staring at him from Junior year.

And he would have missed it if his thumb hadn’t suddenly stung. As if a bee or a strike of lightning went through him and he had to adjust his hold on the book. Where his thumb had been pressed into the page, was the girl. 

Just a few down from his own school portrait, she sat smiling shyly at the camera with closed lips, silken voluminous dark hair, a sparkle in each eye. 

Eddie’s stomach plummeted, his pulse speeding up as each letter of her name danced behind his irises, and his lips tingle when he finally says her name. 

Mickey 

thanks for reading💋

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[ddarker-dreams]

How They Flirt / Scarlet Ribbons.

(tl;dr most of them can’t . 🙏)

[Scarlet Ribbons Index]

Giorno

Giorno genuinely has no idea what he’s doing, although you’d never know on first glance. He studies you like he’s a sociologist conducting naturalistic observation. He subtly plays up the aspects of himself he thinks you’d be taken with, adjusting how much he talks or listens, how physically close he gets, etc. Is it a little weird? Yes. In his defense, he’s never cared for someone this deeply, so he doesn’t want to mess it up. Even if he’s making adjustments to how he acts around you, it’s still sincere. He wouldn’t want you falling for a false image of himself, after all. Giorno is easy to get along with due to his polite nature and quiet charm. He makes you feel as if you’ve known one another all your lives within a few weeks. As his confidence builds, he’ll get a little more playful, displaying a mischievousness few expect him to possess. He’ll whisper quips into your ear, lean in to wipe cream off the corner of your lips after you take a drink, and purposefully get ‘lost’ when walking you home so that you spend more time together. He learns fast. 

Bruno

Bruno’s flirting is old-fashioned and kinda stiff, but charming in its own way. He has the basics down from watching how his father interacted with his mother before she left. Despite being a prized bachelor, he has no experience in the romance department, he’d been too focused on his ambitions to dabble. Rather than embarrassing himself by trying something he’s unfamiliar with, he focuses on what comes naturally. When you both aren’t working, he’ll lighten up and show a more relaxed side of himself. He has to resist the temptation of spoiling you every waking second. He recalls how enthused his mom would become upon receiving gifts like pearl earrings from his father and takes a similar approach. The concept of there being a reminder of him on your person pleases him greatly, he especially loves giving you necklaces. Surprisingly, he does have something of a possessive streak. He’ll sometimes drape a coat/blazer over your shoulders if you’re wearing an outfit that earns stares, using the excuse that he doesn’t want you to be cold. 

Fugo

Lord please help him. Most of his flirting is confined to the realm of theory. He’ll lay awake at night staring at his ceiling, contemplating the most efficient method to get his feelings across. Many hours have been spent penning prose to paper, the parchment ultimately meeting the same fate. He rips it to pieces in fits of frustration so thoroughly, one might believe he used a paper shredder. Fugo already thinks you’re completely of his league and his inability to woo you without internally combusting makes him feel extra pathetic. So rather than go on the offensive, he’s on the defensive, doing what he can to obstruct the other “hormonal imbeciles” from making serious headway with you. For example, he’s always the first to sit next to you in restaurants or on car rides. He also feeds the others false information about you, by saying your least favorite food is your favorite, stuff to that effect. A professional saboteur. Poor guy doesn’t know you’d genuinely be flattered to receive one heartfelt compliment from him. 

Mista

He thinks he has mad game (he does not have mad game). Oddly enough, he has more confidence when the others are present? Maybe it’s some caveman instinct that makes him want to show off, but whatever the case, he gets in a decent flow of things. His arm is wrapped around your shoulders more often than not. Mista knows how to make you laugh and you both have innumerable inside jokes. When you’re caught between two dessert choices, he’ll get the one you didn’t pick, so that you’ll ask him for a bite. He then proceeds to feed you said bite while ignoring the death stares from the other gang members present. When it’s just the two of you though, it feels oddly intimate, and he starts losing his cool. He does get better about this over time. Drops some corny lines that you mistake for jokes and laugh at. Honestly, he’s a chill guy, so this outcome doesn’t even perturb him. There’s no better prize than making you laugh. 

Narancia

Narancia is the most overt out of all his rivals. He's willing to stab someone for so much as looking at you the wrong way, he really thinks you’re some higher being who has graced him with your presence. His flirting is mostly just him hanging out around you every second he can. It doesn’t matter if you’re doing something fun like going to the arcade or grocery shopping, he wants to be there, by your side, where he feels the most at peace in the world. He laughs at your jokes, smiles when you enter the room, and gets visibly dejected when you leave. Narancia is basically your cheerleader — he hypes you up when you wear a new outfit, offers to paint your nails, lets you test out new makeup ideas on him... he’s down for anything, so long as you’re involved. 

Abbacchio

Abbacchio erroneously assumes you’ll be able to piece together his intentions yourself if he drops enough hints. When this proves to be going over your head, he swears that you’re a lethal threat to his sanity. His style is similar to Narancia’s, loath as he is to admit it. He’ll invite you over for a nice vintage bottle he claimed to have happened upon (in reality, a great deal of care went into choosing it), so that you can spend a leisurely evening together. He tries curbing his sardonic comments in your presence, but you never make him feel like he needs to change his personality. You just naturally bring out this softer side to him he didn’t know existed. He is vigilant in looking out for your best interests from afar, helping you in ways you’ll never know about, as he doesn’t expect gratitude. What matters most to him is knowing you’re happy. 

[serawritesthings]

AMBIVALENT MINDS

Pairing | Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Fem! Reader Summary | There was no doubt an air of mystery surrounded Simon, and while you hadn't seen him in years, his sudden appearance rendered you shocked, to say the least. It doesn't come without complications, though, resurfacing feelings that should have been laid to rest. Tags | sexual content 18+ minors dni, smut, angst-heavy, description of violence, very sad :D Word Count | 12k A/N | Hello once again lovelies! I have recently been working in this fic about Ghost, where I had an idea that I thought was very fitting for him. I'm so used to writing for Arthur, so I'm a bit nervous, but I thought I would challenge myself for this one! I really hope you like it, and if you do, don't hesitate to let me know. I would much appreciate it! ♡ Also, I'm still head-deep in my Arthur Morgan phase, so the next fic will probably be of him. Enjoy!

Stoic had always felt like a suitable word to describe the ghost that haunted your mind. Lacing every corner of your thoughts, he strayed, forever walking the memories of your past–unwanted and unwilling, unidentified, and under no sense of obligation to you or anyone else.

His presence had become a looming shadow, casting a heavy gloom over what you so profoundly wished to forget. No matter how hard you tried to escape those clutches, he held on too tightly, etching his essence into the fabric of your consciousness as the echoes of his footsteps reverberated through the corridors of your mind, a constant reminder of what you wished could be undone.

But it left you more unsatisfied than initially prepared for, finding the distance between you to be nauseating, like the miles only made the hurt seem to grow closer until it was seeping into your very bones. Although reality had a funny way of keeping up with you, clouding the past in its grasp, so now, it only felt like someone else’s experience and not your own–oddly comforting and discomforting all at the same time.

Simon always seemed to have that effect on you, and it was always the most challenging part for you throughout the years you spent together. One day, you would find the rough exterior grow gentle as it warmed the harsh edges with the soft look in his consistently monotone eyes; the other day, sharp and cold orbs cut through you like a splicer–like you were a stranger.

It was hurtful and increasingly confusing, making you wonder if you had been in a one-sided relationship all this time. He kept many parts of himself a secret from you, heavily guarded behind thorny walls, as even the slightest inquiry made him shut you out completely. The struggle you went through to gain his trust was like tiptoeing through a glass field, every step bordering on agony.

He never told you where he lived, only ever sleeping at your apartment even though it was too cramped. And, as it came to his private life, he didn’t speak a word but almost knew yours entirely from the number of questions he asked and your willingness to keep talking the moment you got started.

Funny that his nickname spoke so well with his aura, for that was exactly how you had perceived him now that you had a clear look at him that wasn’t shrouded with love and admiration. In reality, you didn’t know who he was under all those layers and cautious ways, your conversations made up of carefully guarded expressions and chosen words, the depth of emotions often hidden behind a veil of protection.

Somehow, he had felt, well, real? More real than the faked chivalry you were so used to when you were brought up, parents having more wealth than you deemed necessary amidst their strive towards perfection. Compared to their stale kindness and expectations, Simon was a welcomed change, as exciting as he was human.

For a younger you, he was fascinating and shrouded in a prolonged mystery you begged him to tell you. But he never did, always preaching about the unsafety of his life and no less job, that you were better left unknowing–for your sake. So curious and unbelievably stupid you were at the time, not realizing the danger that surrounded Simon and how it could affect you.

You understood him, though, and you did for a long time, but for obvious reasons, it grew exhausting to harbor a love for a man like that. You were young and naïve, only surpassing your early twenties that were spent on edge with an older man you weren’t sure could love anyone, no less himself.

In the shadow of your own accord, the best years of your life passed away, and through long days of studying for your medical degree and battling the struggles of barely seeing him–wondering where he was most of the time–you set your sight on other things, naturally.

For this reason, you always reminded yourself that he couldn’t be loved because he didn’t want to. The thought bruised you because for the longest time, you couldn’t imagine being without him. Thank God that time heals wounds, for the thought grew dim; despite his looming presence, you couldn’t shake from your mind, even though you tried your damnedest.

“I wonder where you went just now, missus.” The warm tone of Gretel filled your ears comfortingly as it cut through the obnoxious clicking of the pen you tormented anxiously. Stopping abruptly, you glanced at the woman writing in a patience journal, focused but somehow acutely aware of your absent-mindedness.

“Oh, sorry.” You spoke quietly, the luminescent light flickering above you as you straightened your back, getting ready to continue your work. “Just stuck in my thoughts…” You trailed off with a sigh, avoiding her questioning gaze as she peered at you over the bundle of paper.

Although a sharp and hardworking lady, Gretel had a knack for seeing straight through you. It was a shame since you always prided yourself on your ability to stay undecipherable, a thing you learned after the heavy supervision you had been under when you were younger.

You could almost swear she was psychic, for she always had this look in her eyes, like every thought that passed through your mind was the most obvious thing in the world, and you felt just as ashamed every time you thought something filthy in her presence.

“Hmm, I know that look, dear. Why don’t you finish up and go home? Rest your mind for a while. Lord knows we have a lot of work to get done tomorrow now that the doctors have been slacking off lately,” she hummed unamused at the last statement, turning back to the endless words loitering the pages, glasses hanging low on her nose.

“Oh, you sure?” In all actuality, you weren’t interested in going home anymore. It felt too empty these days, the eeriness seeping into every corner of the house. Here, you at least had people around you every minute of the day, patient or college, and burying your head in work seemed more of an appealing way to deal with your emotions than staring endlessly into the white tapestry of your wall without a single second of sleep.

“Course I am.” Wishing you away with her hands, you glanced uncomfortably at the snow falling outside the window, hoping to stay in the hospital's warmth. But alas, you knew better than to question her, so you finished your work in silence, the loud drag of your chair notifying Gretel you were on your way.

“Any plans tonight?” She sent a mischievous look your way, expectantly. “A special someone, maybe?”

“No.” You only let out a breathy laugh, giving her a look that spoke too much of your answer. “No, I uh, I’m going to bed.” Cringing at yourself, you shut your eyes when your back was towards the inquiring woman, chastising your inability to make up a lie instead of telling her the sad truth.

“I don’t believe that, a fine woman like you staying home on a Friday night?” She put down the papers and put all her attention on you. “Blasphemy, if I’ve ever heard it.”

The corners of your mouth lifted slightly, appreciating her attempts to lift your mood. It was depressing, though; you could admit that. Earlier, you had heard both the younger and older coworkers gossip about the nightly adventures that awaited as the clock turned 5, feeling like shrinking into the floor at the lack of excitement in your life compared to theirs.

“What about that mystery man that came through here some time ago every time you got off work?” Her words made you stop in your tracks, the now remaining cold, stale coffee you were forcing down your throat spilling down the corners of your mouth, staining your shirt.

“Oh, dear, let me help you.” As the woman rushed towards you, your mind grew numb at the thought of the man you had tried so hard to push toward the back of your mind. Truthfully, you hadn’t thought about him for quite a while, but Gretel’s words forced you to face the cold eyes that stared back at you in your mind, ultimately ruining your every attempt.

“Sorry, I just-” Her reprimanding voice cut your apology short.

“No need to apologize,” she shushed you, grabbing the cup from your hands before you dropped it, smiling heartily in comfort as your cheeks flushed a bright red.

You gladly left the building after your mishap, and although with a large coffee stain under your jacket to showcase your bad luck, it felt relieving to be outside in the fresh air instead of your work’s stale smell of disinfectant and latex. More so, to avoid another possibility of embarrassing yourself somehow.

Gretel hadn’t pestered you more about your apparent surprise when she brought up Simon, but you could feel her eyes scrutinizing you when you weren’t looking. You pondered if she would be disappointed if you let her know you were mere strangers to each other, bordering on a heavy dislike from the abrupt end you faced.

When you grew tired of trying, you presented him with an ultimatum that took weeks for you to muster up the courage in order to speak of it. It felt more like he was the one to break things off with you than the other way around, which wasn’t exactly what you had in mind. He didn’t even get angry as the tears of distress from his lack of emotions ran down your cheeks when you questioned him, wondering why he stayed.

The look on his face wasn’t giving away an ounce of hurt, only remaining detached like he always did, like your talk was a major inconvenience. Your distraught voice didn’t affect him as you begged him to listen and realize, it took so much away from you always to be mindful of him.

“You never let me in, Simon. I feel like I’m tiptoeing around you all the time, like the smallest thing I say will set you off.” Whenever you spoke of this, it felt like he dissociated. You might as well be talking to a wall the way he seemed to bounce every word back at you, eyes observing you under the dim light of your kitchen where he leaned against the counter.

There had been something strangely different about him this time, though, as he came to you in the middle of the night, disturbing you, who had just managed to fall asleep after an increasingly tricky work day. It wasn’t that you disliked him coming to you, but he never told you why after being gone for so long, which troubled you.

“I don’t even know you! You never tell me anything, and you know almost all there is to know about me.” You gazed at him questioningly, only gaining a blank look back. Crossing his arms, he gazed out the small window of your kitchen as the rain made its way down the glass.

When you stepped into your apartment after your long walk from work, the memory hit you tenfold: everything looked remarkably the same as that day–the last day you saw him. If you focused hard enough, you could almost see him still standing there, watching you indescribably as you poured your heart out to him, begging him to stop shielding himself from you.

Now that you looked back at it, you almost felt embarrassed for how you behaved compared to his composed self, but you couldn’t hold back your frustration anymore. The pain and defeat you felt had boiled over, making you wonder if he had viewed you as childish for the words that poured out of you uncontrollably.

Taking your stained shirt off, you changed into something more comfortable before burying your head in the sheets, wanting to melt into the fabric so you could resume the ignorance of your past the following day.

It didn’t work, though, as you could almost feel the comforting rumble of his voice under your head like the sheets had magically turned into his chest, the steady beating of his heart pulsing heavily against your cheek. The fold in the linen grew into the familiar, scarred skin under your palms, your fingers tracing the ruined tissue that stretched far as the coldness of him heavily contrasted with your warmth.

The low chatter of your ancient TV grew distant as sleep started to pull you into its embrace. In the last remains of wakefulness, you could feel his coarse fingers caress your cheek before pulling some strands that covered it behind your ear–lingering on the soft curves as it hurled you closer to dreamless slumber.

“Stay quiet.”

Your eyes opened wide at the sudden breath that hit your ear; not a figment of your imagination, but someone whispering the words harshly against you. Your first instinct was to scream, but you found a broad, gloved hand already covering your mouth, muting the sound successfully against the otherwise quiet apartment–despite the low buzz of the TV in the background.

A heavy weight had you trapped underneath it, and you trashed wildly against the hold. Your movements grew limited, though, and as you moved, you found yourself pressed even firmer against the mattress, the voice you could recognize anywhere rumbling dangerously at you when you didn’t listen.

“I said quiet.” It felt like water as cold as ice washed over you when the familiar voice reached you, rendering you quiet and unmoving in pure shock.

You didn’t get much time to ponder over your current predicament, hearing quiet yet rustling footsteps step slowly on the creaking floor panels of your apartment. The hair on your arms rose when you realized others who were unwelcome walked outside the room, the creeping footsteps only growing closer to your bedroom door.

As they did, the hand covering your mouth slowly released its grip, but not before pushing a finger against your lips. You obeyed, feeling him pull you closer so you were pulled taut against him, having no choice but to follow his lead as he stepped away from the bed. Every movement was cautious and quiet as your back was pushed up against the wall beside the door, your whole frame covered by a broad back that towered before you.

It was Simon, no doubt. You were sure of it as you gazed up at the man, the broadness of his shoulders, the tall height, and the gruff voice that had called you out earlier. From what you could see from his back, he was dressed differently; a mask seemed to cover the whole of his head down to his neck, pulled into a sweater of the same color as a thick vest could be seen from underneath it.

In a hasty motion, you felt his hand graze the skin of your stomach as he pulled what appeared to be a gun that was strapped against his body from the waistline of his jeans.

Your breath hitched at the sight, the clicking noise as he loaded the metal slowly cutting through the quiet room, backing up even more so you were pushed tighter against the wall. The footsteps had ceased now, and for a while, you pondered if they had ever been there in the first place, wondering if this was reality or just a depraved dream your exhausted mind had conjured up in lack of excitement.

But then, you saw the door handler move slightly out of the corner of your eyes. Craning your head towards it in fear, your view was obscured though as Simon moved to shield you even further, lifting the gun as the door creaked open, the soft light of your hallway lamp illuminating the room, a giant shadow now apparent on the walls from the figure outside.

The door remained open, and the seconds ticked slowly like ages passed; your trembling hands made their way to Simons’s sides, grabbing his waist as you tried to keep your breathing quiet, heartbeat picking up as he placed a gloved hand on yours for a second to then wrap around the handle again.

What transpired next could only be likened to a horrible nightmare: the muted sounds of a suppressed gun going off, a body falling like a ragdoll down on the floor of your bedroom, dark blood seeping into the fabric of your rug from the man now laying there, completely and utterly lifeless.

Left staring at Simons’s back when he rushed towards the figure, he checked the man’s pulse in a quick motion. You couldn’t form a single sound, neither could you think straight as shock flooded you at the sight, eyes growing wide when you started to register what transpired.

Still remaining pressed against the wall in disbelief, you heard the low rumble of Simons’s voice speak into his intercom, eyes staring at you briefly through the holes in his mask before raising up, putting it back in his pocket while stalking toward you in big strides.

Grabbing your shoulders, he pushed you gently but hastily out the door, pushing your head to look forward as your gaze was transfixed on the dead man, finding it increasingly absurd to see that sight in the bedroom you had just slept in.

In your haze, you had found yourself being led into the kitchen, lifted up with strong arms on the counter as he grasped your cheeks in his gloved hands, finding your eyes unfocused and clouded.

“Hey, you okay?” His voice rumbled low in his chest as his eyes sought yours, patting your cheek gently to gain your attention. You craned your neck slightly to look up at him, eyes covered with black paint under the mask, seeming so familiar yet different from the man you knew.

“Simon?” Your voice was quiet, confusion lacing the edges as tears started to brim the corners of your eyes at the overwhelming emotions that hit you after the apparent shock that rendered you frozen.

“You’re alright,” he told you; as he swept his thumb over your cheek, a tear fell, bringing your head to his chest as his arms wrapped around you, gripping his waist in distress. Shushing you, he let you lean against him for a while as you sobbed, terrified of what had just transpired and what he had done.

You could still see the emotionless eyes staring back at you in your mind, the thought of them still lying in the next room shooting pangs of anxiety through you. Just like that, he had fallen to the floor, and through your tears, you started to feel the confusion fill you and the shock at what Simon had done.

He had killed a man. Also, he was dressed like a madman, wearing a mask and a vest, with a gun strapped into his jeans. He had been prepared to kill, and that thought hit you like a train as you felt your tears freeze, the arms around you caging you in until you started to push on his chest frantically, begging him to step away.

“What did you do!?” Distressed, you hit Simon’s chest in protest, feeling claustrophobic at having him standing so close after what he had just done. He didn’t budge, though, grabbing your arms tightly as he bent down to look you in the eyes.

“Stop that.” Sternly, he tried to get you to stop moving, but you didn’t listen. Still, uneasiness lingering in your thoughts.

“You killed him!” He hushed you with a dangerous look in his eyes, pulling your hands to your back so he could grip your wrists with one hand, stepping closer so he was pushed against you with the other hand gripping your chin forcefully.

“Listen!” He hissed loudly, making you stop your trashing when he did. “I need to get you out of here, got it?” You only stared at him frightfully as he spoke. “You need to stay quiet and keep close to me. Can you do that?”

When Simon didn’t get an answer, he closed his eyes for a second before opening them again, the fabric of his glove pulling your wild hair behind your ear.

“If you don’t do as I say, you’ll face the same fate as the man in your bedroom, understand?” You nodded slowly, and as he released your wrists in caution, he gave you a nod back when he realized you were listening to him.

“No matter what, you stay behind me. Got it?” His voice grew monotone as he took hasty strides towards your window, checking the empty street outside your apartment for a second before lowering the blinds. The kitchen grew shrouded in darkness, only the moon shining through the blinds. Taking a deep breath, you wiped your tears as you tried to gather yourself.

This wasn’t how you planned for your night to go. Just like any other Friday night, you were prepared to sleep the night away, not being witness to a murder, no less by your ex. He had been secretive through the years you spent together, and sure, you had made up various insane scenarios about his background. There had been crazier assumptions than Simon being a murderer, but that didn’t make the thought any easier.

Thinking about it made you shiver, wondering who he was beneath this facade he kept up and if this had been the case when you’d known him. Had he been hiding this from you all this time? You couldn’t help but feel betrayed, even if it was only you assuming. But then, he probably knew you would have one or two things to say about his, well, occupation.

Your first instinct was to keep your distance, but you realized you had no choice but to follow his lead if you wanted to escape this chaotic mess. Somewhere along your distressed mind and trembling hands that were a blend of his actions and being told you might have been killed tonight, his presence made the situation less grim, the usual safety he carried around him soothing your stress.

It wasn’t unusual, for he had always prioritized your safety–almost bordering on possessive. It had been a significant problem for you, seeing as it reminded you of your parents, whom you left when you turned 18, not wanting to be under that kind of supervision anymore. Countless memories of gruesome fights flashed before you, remembering the mood swings that turned Simon into a completely different person, words chilling and inexcusable action plenty.

Although many times horrible, his eyes had always been set straight on you, and despite them being sharp and calculated, you could almost feel the warmth radiate from them when they fell upon you. A hand on the small of your back, a large frame shielding you from others’ curious eyes and his sight, ever-so-watchful on you.

He was a man of actions, not words, and always picked you up when needed, walked you home, and even stayed in your apartment every chance possible, deeming it wasn’t a safe neighborhood. You had Simon to thank for the reinforced locks on your doors and windows, as well as the taser and pepper spray still in your purse to this day.

Cautiously, you trailed behind him as you moved through the hallway, the light above you flickering as you felt his hand planting itself on the small of your back as he reached around you. Pressing you closer to him, he took measured steps that echoed through the walls, not a single sound from the apartments surrounding you.

There was obviously something he wasn’t telling you, and there were so many questions you wanted to ask. Who was that man creeping through your apartment, and why, for all reasons, did Simon manage to be there at the right time? It felt too surreal to hold legitimacy, but somehow, you were thankful he was.

Simon’s gaze, once penetrating, had been soft when it met your wide ones a few minutes ago. It had always been rare to find him vulnerable, rarely getting a glimpse of the man behind the stoic eyes, but it reminded you of why you fell for him in the first place. The rare glimpses of love he showed were enough to fuel your own at the time, running on the tiny specks of affirmation that he might, in fact, love you like you did him.

But there was a twinge of something else, a draft of loneliness clouding them that you had never seen before. It shot a pang of sadness through you, although unwillingly, you couldn’t help but wonder if he had someone else to lean on when you left him, or had you been the only one?

Blinking the reminiscent thoughts away, you refused to direct your thoughts toward the pity that always laced your feelings regarding Simon. There hadn’t been anything you could do to help him anymore when you left him, and you had to put yourself first for once and realize that what you had was growing increasingly more destructive with time.

You were glad you cut it off before it got any worse, wondering many times how it would have panned out if you hadn’t left. And more so, he hadn’t given you a single reason to stay when you left, only gazing into the air like you weren’t there–not begging you to stay like you desperately wanted.

“Where are you taking me?” A worried curiosity started to take hold of you, and amidst your cautious eyes and careful steps down the stairway in the apartment building, the thought of who the now-dead man actually was and if there were more around swirled in your mind.

You only got a miffed head turn in response, glaring at you through the black paint as he raised a finger to his clothed lips. Getting his notion, you kept quiet behind him, sock-clad feet following his every step on the dirty, laminated floor. You didn’t see a single person on the way down, and it felt eerie despite it being in the middle of the night with everyone asleep.

As you descended on what you now realized was the entry floor, you suddenly felt yourself pulled roughly against the corner of a wall, face right before Simon’s chest. You heard voices coming from the opening of the building, sirens audible in the background as the sound of traffic lessened when someone closed the door–voices growing nearer by the second.

You gasped out loud at suddenly being trashed around, but when you saw the broad arms of Simon encase your head with his body pressed up against yours, you relaxed. Craning your head hastily to gaze up at him, you already found his eyes staring intensely at you, although faltering when he met yours in what you might have interpreted as shyness.

Your gaze flickered, unsure where to look now that he was so close to you. You opted to plant your eye on his chest, the folds and curves of the sweatshirt following his ample muscles that were hiding under the fabric, bulging when his m muscles flexed.

A deep, red blush grew on your cheeks, and you chastised yourself for being so obvious, wondering if he took notice. Redirecting your gawking, you tried looking towards the side but found his large arms blocking your view as he leaned down further to shield you from, well, you weren’t so sure.

After some time, you heard the hurried voices pass as the footsteps grew distant. As you looked up at Simon, relieved, you found him already stalking towards the entry door, grabbing your upper arm when you stumbled to drag you behind him.

It was freezing outside, the chilly air seeping into the thin cotton of your pajamas as you cringed when your feet stepped on the snowy sidewalk, now wholly wet. You didn’t have time to ponder it, though, being directed towards a black car poorly parked a few meters away, like the driver had been in a hurry.

The street was empty, aside from a few other cars littered around the streets, heavy with the snowfall that had been falling a few hours ago. It wasn’t a neighborhood with a good reputation, and often you read about the crime and dealings held in the dark alleyways and corners of the city. You didn’t have too many options, though, the already low pay from your nurse job being even lower since you just got out of school.

The seat underneath you was cold when Simon pushed you through the door, slamming it so hard that the sound echoed in the quiet street. Running quickly to the driver’s side, he wasted no time in starting the engine, tires screeching as he belted through the tightly built buildings into the highway.

His eyes were strained, staring firmly ahead, ignoring all laws of speeding when he drove faster–not that there were any other cars around. Confusion clouded your face as you stared at him staying taut against his seat, glancing worriedly in the rearview mirror every other second.

“What’s going on, Simon?” You asked him, voice audibly stressed, gripping the seat tightly and craning your head to look behind you. There was no answer, as expected, and it only managed to fuel your anxiety as you watched his jaw tighten under the taut mask caressing his jawline. It didn’t deter you from continuing to demand an answer to why you were in this chaotic mess in the first place and what his part was in it.

The engine’s rhythmic hymn provided a backdrop to your growing unease, prodding him to speak. “Simon!” You pleaded, but he remained silent, navigating the empty streets with a determination that intrigued and frightened you–the unanswered question hanging heavy in the air, thick and stifling.

Simon’s grip on the steering wheel tightened, and you were shot with a sharp, almost challenging look. “There’s people after you,” he snapped, voice cutting through the air. “But I can’t lay it all out for you now, so just do as I say.”

“What?!” You gripped the seat to turn around, seeing the road behind you devoid of any other cars. “You can’t be serious!”

His gaze, shielded and focused, hid the more profound truth–that the dangerous shadows tailing you were a consequence of his own actions, a perilous side of his life that had unexpectedly spilled into yours when he basked in the euphoria of being loved by you. The bonds you once shared had been like an anchor but now grew into a chain, its links forged in the crucible of his regrets.

You were left staring ahead while damning his stubbornness to not speak through the rest of the ride. The long way allowed you to think about the last hour and how absurd it was, especially seeing Simon again, which you had thought would never be the case some time ago.

Somewhere, deep in the crooks and nooks of your heart, it soared at seeing him again, prodding heavily at the memories you kept at bay, memories that hurt too much to consider many times. You examined his body that too many others bulged in pride and confidence, but to you, hunching slightly in exhaustion, fingers flexing nervously against the wheel.

He had grown much taller and broader since you last saw him, with an air of maturity surrounding him that you hadn’t noticed before. Admittedly, you were both grown adults now, more so since he was older than you, and it felt quite different to be near him. You were unsure if you had romanticized the few good parts of your relationship that weren’t shrouded in misunderstandings and miscommunication or if you actually missed the first and only man you had ever loved.

The air in the vehicle grew tight as time passed, but at least it was warm as he had put the heat on blast when taking notice of your shivering frame. The strain of emotions from the moments leading up to now seemed to get a hold of you, and in a tired haze, you felt your lids droop heavily as you tried to keep your focus on the road.

After some time, though, your head fell heavily against the door, neck craning uncomfortably as your body succumbed to the heavy load of the day. It felt like seconds had passed when you woke up from your deep slumber, head fitted into warm sheets covering your body in heaps as small orange lights shone through the blinds.

As you blinked slightly, you still felt the heaviness of sleep hanging over you, bare feet rubbing against the bedding as you snuggled closer into the warmth and familiar scent that surrounded you, once more falling into a dreamless slumber without wondering where the hard, plastic side of the door against your cheek went.

It wasn’t until the evening sun settled high in the sky that you awoke again, this time wide awake. Only, it wasn’t your bed; instead, dark, blue sheets covered your frame, shielding you against the coldness of the apartment–only now noticing a black jacket twice the size of your body wrapped around you.

–

Slightly dazy and confused, you rubbed your eyes that complained at having to remain open, sitting up straight. So, last night hadn’t been a dream? Smiling lightly, you realized your night had been much more action-filled than your colleagues if that counted for something.

“Hello?” Your voice broke through the silence, quiet and cautious, yet sure Simon had to be nearby. When the silence stretched on, you cast the blanket aside to recognize the familiar chill wound around your legs that weren’t shielded by the jacket.

Grimacing, you pulled the sides of the jacket closer to you, wondering if the heat was off. There was no mistake that it wasn’t yours, the wooden floor under your feet creaking audibly as you stepped over some planks that were missing, observing the small cracks that stretched on the walls and bedroom door that had been wholly wrung off its hinges, now leaning against the wall.

Walking into the small hallway, you stepped over the various objects loitering the floor, bending down to examine what appeared to be some old paperwork among the dirty shirts that couldn’t have been cleaned for a while.

Scrunching your nose, you grabbed the fabric to put it on the old plastic chair that missed one leg, wondering where you had ended up. You heard the slight thud of something falling towards the floor as you did. Gazing down in confusion, the appearance of a small portrait caught your eyes, not having been there a second ago.

Raising your brows, you bent down again, picking up the shiny paper as you observed the familiar smiling face. You remembered the day vividly, the memory making the corners of your mouth chirp up lightly as it flashed before your eyes.

You had rarely gone out with Simon, being told by him that it was too dangerous for you to be seen with him. Despite your disagreement about it, you often spend long days in bed, the smell of homemade breakfast wafting under your nose and the feeling of starved hands moving desperately, heatedly, now filling your mind.

You were buried in your bed sheets; face blushed with hair spreading wildly around you like a halo as you gave Simon a toothy smile, begging him not to take the picture through endless giggles as his hand tickled you playfully. He had just made love to you, tender in his own way, and told you he wanted to show you how beautiful you looked to him at that moment.

You placed the marred picture back into the heavy combat jacket you had laid on the chair just now, curious of the torn edges and suspiciously red substance covering it in some places. Had he kept that picture all these years?

“Simon?” Walking further into the apartment, you grew worried, wondering where Simon was. That’s when you heard the low rumble of his voice, talking in a hushed manner.

Tiptoeing faster, you caught sight of his large frame leaning against the kitchen sink, gazing at you monotonously when you entered as his mouth worded undecipherable words before ending the call, pulling the phone back into his front pocket.

As you placed the puzzle pieces together, you realized you were in his apartment. That explains it, you thought to yourself as your gaze wandered around the room, taking in the dire state of it. You couldn’t help but be surprised, never imagining that Simon lived in such a pigsty. It wasn’t that it was untidy; it was more like someone hadn’t been here for ages and ignored the dire need for renovations, looking like it would fall apart at any moment.

Your wide-open eyes met his calculating ones, and as you opened your mouth to speak, he cleared his throat before you could. “Sleep well?” He raised his brow as the question hung in the air, eyes caressing your form as he took you in.

“I, uh…” you trailed off, scrunching your forehead as you tried to find the right words, completely and utterly overwhelmed at where you found yourself. “Yeah, I think so.”

You got a nod back, still staring intensely into each other’s eyes as you wondered where to start the questions that burned in your mind. “You,” you stuttered. “You’re here.” Your fumbled words grew into more of a statement than a question, confusion lacing your expression.

Simon only gave you a look in response, and had you been looking close enough, you would see the corners of his mouth chirp up slightly, unwillingly, of course.

“What are you doing here?” you blurted out. “No, what am I doing here?” Shaking your head to clear it, you dragged a hand through your wildly tousled hair before trying again, glancing at him in irritation. “What’s going on?”

He straightened up from his leaning position but didn’t step closer, still rendering you shying slightly away from his intimidating posture as he towered over you, fingers gripping the fabric of his jacket slightly–nervously fidgeting your feet on the cold planks.

He nodded towards one of the old chairs surrounding a smaller table, beckoning you to sit down. Cautiously, you shuffled into the small kitchen, sitting tentatively on the chair as you hoped it wouldn’t break under your weight. Simon, though, stayed in his place, watching you indescribably before leaning his hands on the end of the table.

He glanced sideways like he was giving something a heavy thought before directing his gaze toward you again. “You’re in trouble,” he said. “The man I killed yesterday, he had been sent out to kill you.”

You froze in your seat as you felt shivers of utter fear running over your back as your heart began to race, its erratic beats echoing in your ears. The silence enveloped the room was broken by the ominous sounds of your breath, each inhaling a reluctant acknowledgment of the palpable reality you had dreaded.

Kill you? Why in the world would someone want to kill you? The fear grew into a hand that tightened its grip around your chest, making it harder for you to draw breath. Noticing your struggle, Simon’s hand flexed slightly as if he wanted to reach you amidst the panic but decided against it. Instead, he draped the mask he had been wearing over his head, revealing the piercing gaze accompanied by the blonde tufts of hair, messy from wearing the balaclava as the remains of sweat wetted the roots of his hair.

“Hey, it’s alright. He won’t get the chance now.” You weren’t sure if his words had been meant to provide you with comfort, but seeing him without his mask made you feel slightly safer.

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” You only got a grunt in response as he straightened up, turning away from you to look out the window. “Who was he?” You asked, trying to crane your neck to get more glimpses of his face that he had shielded from you until now.

There was something different about them, but you couldn’t pinpoint what it was. They seemed tired, though; the bags underneath them were hard not to notice, heavy and swollen as the whites of his eyes were shielded under a light redness.

“Kessler.” He let on, words short. Noticing your silence, he sighed. “Victor Kessler”

“But why was he in my apartment?”

Rubbing his eyes, you saw the muscles tense in irritation. “He did… something he shouldn’t, so he got expelled from the task force,” he said. “We’ve been keeping a close eye on him every since, but revenge isn’t a fool's game–not for him, it seems.” He felt your gaze on him, sighing again when he realized you weren’t satisfied by the answer.

“Look, I don’t know. Revenge maybe? He was going to use you to get to me; knowing you being dead would give him the reaction he wanted. Either way, you don’t have to worry about him now.”

“Why would…” As his words sunk in after you started to speak, you stuttered, caught off guard. “Why would he use me of all people?” To say you were baffled was an understatement. What you had with Simon was a story from years ago, a thing of the past, which meant there was no reason for you to be the target of their malice.

You felt his eyes on you, but as you looked back, they returned to gaze out into the dark street lightened by the snow and the flickering streetlamp. There were many things you didn’t know of, many things he hadn’t told you–mostly because of secrecy and his stubbornness, but also from the humiliation he would face if he did.

He never thought about how strange it would be for you to wake up and suddenly see him in your apartment after all these years, but Simon didn’t think as he belted towards your building complex in sheer panic when he got the notion just in time.

Without your knowledge, he had been watching you ever since you decided to leave, dead set on never letting you out of his sight. It wasn’t for some sick, deluded reason as many may think, but more of a worry about how he had involved you into his life that he knew couldn’t be escaped, how your safety was compromised when he was too weak to leave.

“It doesn’t matter.” His response was short and conceit, brushing off your inquiries. You pondered over his words that fell reluctantly from his mouth, growing dizzy from all the questions that surged within you at the information.

“You’re a soldier?” He smiled slightly at your conversation change, unbeknownst to you, as his back faced your questioning glances. “Special force operator.”

“Oh,” you mouthed silently, like his words resonated with you. The Simon you had known for most of your life was a soldier? The thought was strange, but it connected some dots for you and the mystery that had always followed him. Special force operator?

“What’s that?”

“We handle things regular troops can’t touch, take missions that others don’t dare.”

“What, like superheroes?” You managed to get something that was supposed to be like a laugh but intertwined with a scoff.

“No, it’s not about playing superhero, love. It’s about being the one who gets things done when the stakes are their highest.” He felt your gaze burning on his back, closing his eyes as the word fell out against his will, like a habit.

He had sometimes called you that when you were together, the endearing term slipping out occasionally. You chastised yourself when you felt the familiar yet strange fluttering in your stomach when hearing it leave, cautiously raising from the chair like Simon was a provoked animal, even though he remained utterly still where he stood, not minding you.

You glanced shyly as you approached him, still not used to being in his presence after such a long time. “So, that’s why you always were so secretive, huh?” The fabric of your jackets touched slightly, the feeling making him glance down at you in a concealed startle at suddenly having you so close. He looked away as you glanced up at him, refusing to let him get away with a grunt as an answer this time.

“You could’ve gotten hurt if I didn’t.” He looked indecisive when your cold fingers lightly placed their way on his hand that rested on the window sill, dark eyes avoiding yours. The skin under your palm was freezing now that his gloves had been removed, the scarred tissue you knew so well contrasting heavily against your unspoiled ones, pads rough and rugged.

Worming your nimble fingers through the backside of his hand, you observed the difference quietly, leaning your head on his big arm tentatively. The muscle tensed under you, his body growing taut under your touch as he had always done, mostly when he came back from what you, at the time, didn’t know the cause of, bruised and apprehensive.

You relaxed slightly when he didn’t pull away, glancing into the street silently. You should still have been terrified to the bone, but safety had always been a given when Simon was near you, and now you understood why you had felt that way. It made you somewhat sad to realize he didn’t speak to you about who he was, but somewhere, you understood why he hadn’t, why he still didn’t tell you the entirety of the situation.

What rendered you speechless was that he had been keeping track of you for this long since he was aware you were in danger. While you had been trying to forget him and move on with your life, he kept tabs on you, ensuring you would be safe.

“You should have told me.” He shook his head immediately, stepping away from your touch, shivering as he still felt the lingering drag of your fingers on his hand.

“I’m glad I didn’t.” You scrunched your brows at his response, stepping toward him but not getting any closer as he grabbed your upper arms in warning. “You’ve only seen me now because you’re in danger, alright? I’ll let you be once you’re safe. I’m unsure if Kessler has any other connections, but I have people who will look it up before you leave. I also had someone go through your apartment and make sure to remo-”

“I don’t want you to leave, Simon.” You interrupted him mid-sentence, words leaving you before you could think them through. It was dangerous for him to be here since he raised feelings inside you that had been buried a long time ago and were best kept locked away; you couldn’t help it, though, for the good moments you remembered were so devastatingly wonderful–making your now boring life pale in its memory.

He stilled at your words, a profound conflict littering his blue eyes as he gazed into your guilty ones. Raising your hand, you placed it on his cheek, running it tentatively over his skin. You thought he would pull away, so you were surprised to see his eyes fluttering shut at the contact, almost leaning into your touch.

The air surrounding you grew taut, with an underlying tension from the warmth spreading low in your belly. Swallowing nervously, you couldn’t help but step closer to him, bringing your arms around his waist to place your palms against the broadness of his back, breathing in his scent as you pushed your cheek flat against his chest.

You shouldn’t, but there was a pull you had no choice but to follow, wondering if it would feel the same as before. You felt his arms wound around you, your lips trembling at the familiar feeling you remembered always used to leave you breathless with devotion.

Simon pulled you tighter towards him, thinking of how he had remembered you feeling against him on the cold, unsure nights, only a gun strapped to his back and a picture of you in the pocket closest to his heart.

Sometimes, when he was sure he was taking his last breaths, he would grab the piece of printed paper, dust it off from the ashes of war as his blood-soaked fingers swiped over the picture, coloring you in a tint of red as he remembered how you had looked the day it was taken. It’s what kept him going when he didn't feel like pushing on.

He wasn’t afraid of dying, neither was he of going to hell, for every day that had passed without you in it, only a picture as proof, already brought him into the scorching fire as the devil himself tortured Simon by only being able to watch you from a distance, all because of his own choices.

It was his fault, of course, that he had chosen this path, but when he met you, it was too late. No longer could he hide from the life he had chosen, having to sacrifice you so he could keep you safe. If that wasn’t torture in itself, he wasn’t sure what was.

The warmth that enveloped him ran like fire up his veins, all sense of logic falling out the window as he basked in your touch, suddenly grabbing your waist and hoisting you around his, stalking in significant strides towards the counter. You buried your head in the crook of his neck, feeling the coarse stubble rubbing against your cheek as you wrapped your arms around his neck, feeling his hands wander their way under his jacket that covered you, finding sanction around your waist as he sighed at the feeling of your nose trailing up his neck.

Bending his head down towards yours, his lips desperately sought yours, all restraint gone as the chains holding him back fell towards the floor in a loud clank, pushing your body taut against his.

Fueled by his affection, you bask in the tenderness of his touch and desperation in his movements as you push all sense of logic to the back of your mind, longing to feel what you had always felt with Simon, the feelings that had been simmering in the back of your mind.

You shivered as his calloused hands crept under your shirt, caressing the soft skin that had remained untouched ever since he left, battled-bruised hands seeking sanction in the curves of your body that filled his wanton dreams, dreams that always depicted you.

“Simon.” you gasped in a quiet voice, hands running up to rest in the tufts of his hair, arching your back when his fingers traveled down to your backside, palms fitting wholly against you as he pushed you tighter toward his front with a quick drag.

A grunt left him when your legs tightened against him, feeling your crotch pressed against him, the euphoric feeling bordering on nostalgia. The room that remained as cold as it had been before wasn’t anything you pondered over when his hands unzipped your jacket, leaving it still wrapped around your arms, but the shirt of your pajamas was now visible.

“Tell me to stop.” His lips attached themselves to the crevice of your neck, bringing the supple flesh into his mouth as he groaned against you, fingers running their way up your shirt to lightly skim over the thin fabric covering your bare chest.

“Stop, Simon.” You said, voice monotone as you heeded his command needlessly, not paying attention to what you were saying as his thumb slowly caressed the side of your breast, begging him to touch you as your legs automatically widened to let him step further into your embrace.

He didn’t stop, though, not being able to restrain himself any longer as he saw how deliciously your nipple strained against your shirt, mouth-watering as they seemed to almost beg for him to wrap his lips around them. Doing just that, he heard the sound of your moan vibrating through the quiet room as you felt the unusual feeling of his tongue swiping over it through the fabric, gasping as you felt him grind his middle against yours slowly.

“Push me away. I mean it.” Weak hands found his shoulder pushing against the muscles that hid under the fabric of his jacket as he growled out the words, not budging him one bit as he continued his assault on your breast, covering the other with his palm as he crouched down slightly to make up for the height difference.

Grunting in frustration at his body not following his mind, he lifted you up once more after detaching his lips from you, carrying your heated body towards the manky, old bedroom. You unzipped his heavy winter jacket the short way you could, worming your hands around him like a snake, disapproving of the bulletproof vest strapped to him under the sweater. Instead, you grabbed his cheeks between your hands, placing your lips on his once more, feeling him pushing you up against the wall in the hallway.

Putting you down on your feet, he roughly removed the jacket from your arms, then gently helped you pull the fabric of the shirt to reveal your upper body, feeling his hands grab your bottom to carry you into the bedroom, carefully minding your head as he laid you down on the hard mattress, standing up to examine you as your chest heaved out its breath, gazing tenderly at Simon.

That did it, no doubt. The sight almost made his knees buckle; he grabbed ahold of the small wardrobe placed by the foot of the bed as he removed his jacket, lifting your back up slightly to put it behind you, your desperate lips finding their place on his neck as he bent down, stubborn legs wounding their way around his hips as you dragged him towards you like a siren.

He couldn’t help but follow, comfortably fitting his front against yours, the thin fabric of your pajama pants letting him feel you better as he strained against his jeans, the material stretched tight under his massive desire for you. Your breath hitched as he moved languidly, placing his forearm under your neck as you stared up at him through hazy eyes, a deep blush falling from your cheeks to your chest.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he swore into the otherwise quiet room at the sight. As your eyes met, you could see the sharp eyes crease as he scrunched his eyes tight, dragging his hand that wasn’t under your head down the curves of your sides, memorizing every crevice like this was the last time he could feel it.

The room grew shrouded in the released tension, now thick with a burning want as the large man hovering over you pushed your smaller frame against his ruined mattress, shame not having the chance to fill him yet from the state of the room he was devouring you in.

You paid no mind either, letting out a cry when you felt his hand creep down between your bodies, feeling the warmth of your crotch under his thick fingers as he parted two of them, dragging their way on the side of your lips, never really touching you where you mostly wanted him to.

“I can’t do this to you.” His voice was rough, blending a deep want and a heavy twinge of regret like he was doing something completely unlawful. You stroked his temple with your nimble fingers, wiping the sweat dripping down his forehead away, caressing the skin lovingly.

“Do what, Simon?” He didn’t give you an answer as you asked him breathlessly, but you knew what he meant, feeling like this was too hasty, too quick. But you couldn’t stay away from him, and all the hurt and uncertainty he had let you face entirely on your own, it felt too good to have him near you–for him to want you.

The slow drag of his crotch against yours growing more forceful, you were brought from your thoughts, breath hitching as the large imprint of him rubbed over the material of your pants, feeling every slide grow muted as a warm shiver traveled down your back, a sting of pleasure shooting sharply up your body all the way to your fingertips.

It was numbing, the way he chased after your lips while trying to pull himself away from you, arm pulling you closer yet head pulling away from you. The internal battle he faced was visible, but your warm and caressing hand lulled him closer to you, soothing the harsh thoughts that filled his mind, the worrying that stretched the lines deep on his face.

At the same time, he panted, dragging your trousers down your thighs, refusing to pull away from you, so when he realized there was no other way, you heard the fabric tear amidst the loud ringing in your eyes from excitement.

Your eyes shot open, but before you could speak, you felt Simon’s thumb push its way into your mouth, muting your sound of protest as he buried his head in your chest. Your hands threaded through his hair as you scratched the roots in pleasure when his other hands rubbed you over your underwear, wetness seeping through the material so his fingers could glide over you more easily.

It was mind-numbing, the sparks of pleasure you felt as his calloused fingers finally met skin, dragging slowly between your folds as your panties were pushed aside.

“Oh, god!” A strangled attempt at speaking left you, mouth agape as you arched up against him, feeling a thick finger slowly wind its way into the gummy walls, clenching down on the intrusion. The feeling left you quickly, though, and as a whine of disappointment left you, you felt his finger caress your clit in soft circles, making your hips move in motion with his hand.

Swallowing your noises, Simon’s tongue wormed its way into your welcoming mouth, lips massaging yours as he grabbed your cheek with one hand gently. Running your hands under the fabric of his sweater, you grabbed the vest underneath it in discontent, trying to show him you wanted it off, unable to do it yourself as his heavy weight rendered you moveless underneath him.

His eyes, now a swirling pool of black in the dark room, gazed dangerously into yours, grabbing the end of his sweater and pushing it over his head, refusing to detach from you. As the skin of his upper body was revealed, your hands ran over every piece of skin you could find to then push against the straps, the vest detaching from its hold, Simon throwing it beside the bed in a hurry, grabbing your thighs to push the plump flesh up beside you, gazing heatedly at your puffy lips that peaked through your panties, red and tender from his fingers.

Closing his eyes, he tried to gather his clouded brain, vision unfocused as he could only make out the blissful expression on your face. Wiping his forehead, he kissed the soft skin of your thighs, feeling them stay planted firmly where he pushed them as he let go.

His hands lowered to drag down the zip of his pants, his hardness straining painfully against the fabric. As the material loosened, a sigh of relief left him. Still, then pleasure so sharp ran through him when he felt your nimble hands slowly caress the bulge in his briefs, beckoning him to retake his place in the crevice of your neck, almost biting into your skin as your hand wormed its way into his briefs.

God had imprinted your every touch into his mind, only dragging them out when nights had turned too cold or lonely. Like some depraved animal, he had imagined your hands gliding over him in the confines of this bed when he was on leave, other times imagining your fingers wrapping their way around his shaft as he found to sleep in the corner of some building, teammates only meters away as he fell into a helpless dream of you and your soft touch.

To feel you touch him like that again must have been some type of depraved joke from the devil himself, finding pleasure in the torture of knowing he would never be able to feel this again. The slow drag of your fingers down the trail of hair that led to his crotch, slowly palming the scorching shaft that pulsed against your touch, the small leak of precum making the feeling all too much for Simon to contain himself.

“Fuckin’ hell, are you trying to kill me?” He panted out, grabbing your wrist when it became too much. Instead of a noise of disappointment, the beautiful sound of your laugh clung in his ears, and when he looked up, he found you giving him a toothy smile, a blissed-out expression covering your face.

“Oh, Simon,” you said, staring warmly at him as you took in the heaving of his chest as he planted his arms beside you, covering your whole frame with his large body. Looking down, you parted your legs even more, the anticipation being too much for you to handle, wishing he would dampen the warmth spreading in the low of your stomach.

Suddenly you felt his mouth against your begging wetness, tongue laying flat against your lips as he massaged and licked striped to your red clit, mumbling incoherent words against you that only vibrated euphorically against your sensitive parts.

As you trashed underneath him, his hands wound their way under your legs, pushing your hips down to the mattress as you felt his tongue worm its way into your tightly clenched whole to then once more tease your clit with his tongue, staring up at your face as the paint around his eyes dripped with the sweat down the folds of your legs, almost eating you whole as he lapped at you.

Hitting his head lightly, you begged for him to end his torture with pleading, tear-filled eyes from the overstimulation. You felt him everywhere as he buried his face nose-deep into your heat, hands burning every part of your skin that they caressed frantically, like starved for the feeling of you underneath them.

Pushing the ball of your palm into his bulging, scar-littered shoulder when he didn’t listen, you hit him once more when you regained more power, and he pushed himself hastily above you, almost manhandling you as he removed your panties off your legs and throwing them behind him.

“Come here,” he tells you, and it isn’t until he’s buried deep inside you that your facade breaks, tears gliding languidly down your cheeks in a quiet sob as he thrusts slow and deep, pushing down your thighs until they are burning from the stretch against the mattress–spread wide for only him. Simon hummed at the thought.

Hugging his head close to you, you can feel the warmth of his breath fanning over your neck as the sounds of him thrusting against you echo in the room, hefty and bulky, as you feel him bullying his way into you.

You knew this was it, and for that reason, you held him tighter, trying to imprint his touch into your head–wishing to prolong this moment so it would never stop, pleading with whoever would listen to make him stay. Your pleading only turned into mindless babbling as the force of his hips pushed you further up the bed, breasts bouncing with every motion.

Hearing the words stumble from you like he remembered they always did, he cooed at you, feeling your walls fluttering around his cock as he swore. “I know love, I know.” Breathlessly, he pushed himself up on his hands, grabbing the headboard as he continued to pound into you, watching you cry out with wet cheeks.

Closing his eyes in pain, he felt his heart cramp when what he was doing passed through his mind, knowing this wasn’t fair to you. But he couldn’t stop himself from having you, for you rendered him weak in the knees every time, not sure you knew of the power you held over him.

“Simon, please,” you begged with a trembling voice, staring into his dark eyes as his breath heaved with strain, begging him not to leave you again. He kept his gaze locked with yours, face contorting in agony when he realized your face would haunt him forever, damning him for his ways. He would stay away and leave you alone–he just needed to feel you for one last time, just once more.

To avoid the hurt that started to spread in his loins at the thought, he suddenly pulled you up by your forearms as he laid on his back, pulling you into his strong embrace as he splayed you over his chest, legs on either side of his waist.

A whine left you when he entered you once again, rutting up into you with strong legs planted firmly on the mattress, feeling you glide up his body with every thrust as your head buried its way into his neck. What left you now wasn’t even moans, mouth open wide in a noiseless scream as his hips slapped loudly against yours.

Grabbing the back of your hair, he pushed your head up so you started into his eyes, trying to tell you the three words he couldn’t speak. You gave no indication of noticing, eyes flickering in both pain and lust, arms on either side of his head as he kept pushing into you.

“Stay,” you managed to get out amidst his assault on you, gripping his shoulder tightly as the coil in your stomach started to tighten almost painfully. He remained quiet as he shook his head, bringing your face closer so he could press his lips against yours.

His chapped lips fitted like a puzzle piece against yours, and your hand lifted to caress the fading scars littering the skin on his face. He hit every sweet spot inside of you, pubic bone creating heavenly friction against your sensitive nub as it rubbed together when his movements grew faster. You found it hard to breathe as he swallowed your attempts, and with one hand on your waist and the other pushing your lips against his, you felt lightheaded as you moaned out against his mouth.

Starting to hit the mattress beside you in panic, he only pushed you tighter against his robot-like motions; the feeling was entirely overwhelming as the warmth that had begun spreading low in your stomach now traveled its way throughout your whole body. Your legs lay limp on the mattress, his muscular legs moving to shove you back on the mattress, now gripping the headboard again so he could push into you with more force.

When his hand found your clit, you saw white streaks of sharp light before your eyes, arching your back of the sheets as a noiseless scream left you, wet tears gathering in the corners of your eyes as you saw his eyes set intensely on you from above, your head shaking from side to side from the pleasure as you felt Simon piston in and out of you.

You didn’t want him to stop, knowing that when he did, you would never see him again. You were sure of it, felt it in how he held you and looked at you. So, when you felt the foil snap, you could only cry out as your ears started to ring, pulsating heavily around him as the cramps of your orgasm filled you with a scorching pleasure.

Every thrust of his prolongs your pleasure, still shooting through you as you fall backward, limp under Simon’s still forceful thrusts.

“That’s it, love.” Panting above you, he fell into your arms, rutting heavily against you as he wound his arms around your waist, finding strength in his muscular legs to keep his hips going, grunting audibly against your neck as you kept clenching around him. “Give it to me. Only me,” he mumbled against your wet skin, delirious from being in your embrace he so had missed.

“Only you, Simon. It will always,” you hiccuped. “Always be you.” The sobbing, blissed-out words coming from you were the final straw, his thrusts growing harder but slowing down as he bit into the skin of your neck, knuckles turning white from gripping your waist as his face contorted.

The pleasure kept roaming through him as he kept on moving inside you, prolonging the feeling as his cum rimmed around where his cock entered you, dribbling down you in heaps as it kept coming, stuffing you to the brim.

Spent, you feel the heavy weight of Simon relaxing against you, staying inside you as he tries to regain his breath–not wanting to part from you. A shaking hand found your trembling ones, intertwining them as he caressed the back of it with his thumb, reveling in how your hand caressed the skin of his back, shivers running down it as he basked in the afterglow of being one with you.

Your already heavy eyelids tried to keep open, refusing to let him slip out of your fingers, but your body had grown spent as it strained against the sleep wounding its way through you.

“Simon,” you mumbled, voice almost inaudible as he brought your hand to rest with his beside your head, humming at you, the vibrating of his chest lulling you closer to sleep. As it surrounded you forcefully, you could only let the last teardrop fall from your eyes, knowing he was seeping out of your grasp like dust.

–

The cold was seeping through you the moment you woke up, shivers wrecking through you as the bleak walls stared back at you–the blanket wrapped around you doing nothing to protect you from the chill. In a daze, you sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes tiredly, trying to regain focus as you coddled the blanket closer to your body.

That’s when the horror spread through you, head trashing wildly as you gazed around you while taking in your surroundings. A familiar, worn-down apartment stared back at you, the night dark outside as you gasped, fearing being left alone in his eerie apartment.

“Simon!” You yelled out, voice trembling as you stepped onto the wooden planks of the floor, shielding yourself with the blanket as you bolted through the hallway into the kitchen, finding it empty as you trashed open the door to the bathroom.

Your heart picked up its pace, feeling like someone had shot you right through the chest when you realized you were by yourself–completely and utterly alone, and he had left you just like you knew he would.

“Simon!” You belted out once again, leaning towards the wall in distress as the cries grew soundless as the power of it traveled up your throat, feeling it constrict until the wails filled the empty space, sobs leaving you as you grabbed your heart in agony.

By some sort of hope, you had wished he would stay even though you knew it was inevitable, but as you took notice, that wasn’t the case. Once again, the warmth of his hands had left you, forcing you to come to terms with living the bleak years of your life without him in your life, disappearing–never to return to your embrace again.

As you stood there, sobbing with cheeks red with tears, you damned yourself for loving him in the first place, for letting him step into your life once more when you were finally moving forward with your life. Unable to take the pain, you slide down the wall, glancing up at the walls as the ghost of him starts to loom over you, his shadow growing more fierce–more apparent–as you cover your head, unwilling to face reality any longer.

[cheegu3]

𝐉𝐉𝐊 - 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭

genre > yandere, royal au, one-shot

pairing > prince!j.k x f.m reader

wc > 3.7k

warnings > yandere themes, murder, blood, sadism, asshole jk, inaccurate depictions of trials, mentions of rape, classism, corruption

summary > In the country where justice was the center of everything, things seemed a bit different when it came to the royal family. The prince had never been taken down before successfully, do you dare try although others have failed?

You stared up at the palace in front, stretching as far as your eyes could go and covering the sky above with its height. Perhaps its size was intentional; intimidating those that were contemplating going up the wide steps.

It could be the reason why many didn't dare do what you were about to do - demand a trial against a royal family member.

It could be the reason why many didn't dare do what you were about to do - demand a trial against a royal family member.

It could be the reason why many didn't dare do what you were about to do - demand a trial against a royal family member.

Your country took pride in being a just society. More justice is served here than any other land, they'd boast. If you demanded a trial, no matter how big or small the concern was, you'd be granted one as that was your right.

But even though the fair state made no exceptions for the royal family or anyone being upperclass or otherwise '' more important '' people - very few dared bring the royals to court.

It may be more because of the way that they are. Royals were usually charming, either loved or admired by the people. Although that was obtained by manipulation, it was a fact no one could argue.

The Jeon family were different from other royals however. They were honest in all of their feelings, wether they were good or bad ones. There was no room for sugarcoating and they were therefor pretty disliked but well respected.

A cold, almost sinister or dark aura seemed to follow them whenever any of their members were seen - even more so when they were together.

The king and queen had two sons, Jeon Jungkook and Jeon Wonwoo. Both had beautiful faces and tall physiques, fit for a prince. But the younger of the two brothers, seemed to be the worst.

He was a loose cannon in the family. Committing several crimes such as murder, arson, kidnapping, torture and genocide - rightfully earning him nicknames like '' the psycho prince '' or '' the dark knight''.

Since almost no commoner dared take the royal family to court - he was left to do whatever he wanted. The ones that had been brave enough to try it after they had gotten their loved ones murdered, all for some fun for the little prince, had lost every single time.

For being such a fair country in theory, it was far from it when it came to the court and the family. They were the ones ruling it, making the judgements very biased when it was a case against their own kind.

You had been at a handful of public trials before, and it was brutal. One time a poor man had tried taking on the Jeon Jungkook after he pillaged a town and murdered all the kids there.

And the psycho smiled right at him, confidence and arrogance radiating in his oddly innocent looking bambi eyes, a feature of stark contrast to his real personality.

No lawyer, and the prince still won in the end. That's how they work. Yet even for the more complex cases when they'd need one, they would hire a family friend and win anyway.

You knew all this as you walked the steps with your head held high. You knew it but you had lost everything to him, and you were going to make him pay, being the first to do so - even if it meant dying in the process. Because you had nothing to lose after all.

The grand doors swung open just as your hand hovered near the handle. A man in his 60s stepped out and gave you an empty look, his face void of any emotions.

He must be from the royal family

You mustered up a polite smile, trying to look composed, despite feeling anything but at that moment.

'' We're closed '' he muttered tight-lipped and glared at you.

'' I know, sir. But I will be quick '' you gave him another smile and batted your eyelashes, trying to feign an expression of innocence.

You weren't sure how you'd react if he rejected your judgement proposal. But you had a feeling you might lunge at him as rage had already started to form upon realising he was from the same family as the boy you hated the most.

He sighed deeply and swung the door open again, disappearing without looking back. You hurriedly ran after, almost getting hit by the door because of the force he swung it open with.

It had to be quick, and you couldn't irritate him further or else he'd reject you immediately.

'' Sit '' he beckoned towards a chair beneath the high table he was now standing at in his office.

'' I'd like to request a judgement '' you blurted out, as soon as you sunk down on the cushion.

'' For? ''

You hesitated for a moment, it was hard to believe you were actually going through with this. Some had been sentenced to death before doing exactly this, due to '' false accusations '', and that could very well be you soon.

'' Eh...the prince '' his eyebrows raised '' Sir '' you added, swallowing your anxiety.

'' Very well '' the man muttered, engrossed in some kind of book he had in front of him.

'' I'll schedule it. But I must ask, are you aware of how hard it is to win against the prince? ''

You furrowed your brows in surprise. Since he was a part of the prestigious family himself, he surely wouldn't admit to there being foul-play involved in the trials with the royal family, right? Or maybe he was trying to warn you subtly of not wasting their time, due to the slim chances of winning.

Either way, you nodded. The passion of hate burning within and making you appear confident. He only scoffed at your newfound confidence. It was laughable to him since he knew you'd lose, without a doubt - everyone did after all, why should you be any different?

'' Very well '' he said again, but this time with a slight sigh.

The man threw the paper towards your direction and you carefully picked it up into your hands. It was just a document stating that you had demanded a trial and the date it would take place, a week from now.

That's plenty of time to make a good case

Since you were poor, you couldn't afford a lawyer and the city didn't give out public defenders - everyone had to fend for themselves, which probably contributed to the royal family's win-streak.

Even the rich didn't dare take on the family. It was always those with nothing to lose that tried their luck, expecting the outcome to be different than those that tried it before, and you were no different.

'' Now, begone. I've got better things to do ''

'' Thank you '' you said and left, mind racing with all the arguments you could come up with.

*******

You didn't shy away from the piercing glares from the stands in front of you as you took in every word the judge was saying.

She had just introduced the case, what its circumstances were and the other judges behind her. You only quickly glanced at them, their matching features telling you that they were all part of the royal family.

That's all you needed to know to make the judgement that they would be very partial. But that didn't bother you because it was a public trial.

You had specifically asked for it, so you knew some people could still be on your side. Therefor you paid the stand with the commoners more attention as you gave them a polite smile.

'' Jeon Jungkook, please come up to the podium ''

Your eyes followed the crowd to find the young man in the middle of the royals' stand. He looked just as surprised as the rest. You almost rolled your eyes visibly at the realisation that the family loved theatrics and had probably refrained from mentioning who the accused was, until the very end - for the ultimate dramatical effect.

The prince still got on his feet and walked up to the podium as he was told, he only spared you a stoic look, signature of the Jeon's.

But you weren't scared, even as the male took his place next to you and towered over you; his narrowed eyes on you when you spoke.

'' I accuse the Jeon Jungkook of the murder of my father '' you hesitantly looked down at your notes, the next part was kind of an improvisation just to further add to the length of his imprisonment that you were hoping for.

'' And mass killing of the Village of the West, where I reside in ''

A few gasps erupted from the crowd and you could hear a chuckle to your right. All eyes were on you right now, and it was impossible to not feel it.

'' On the night of January 24th, the man next to me galloped in with his horse straight into my town. His men plundered the houses, and-'' you swallowed thickly, voice starting to shake from the memories of the screams ''-And raped them, while Jungkook did nothing to stop them. He was busy murdering the many innocent civilians for fun ''

The accused only hummed next to you, arrogance evident in his tone. But you refused to let it affect you - everything in your delivery had to be perfect, otherwise you'd lose this case and be sentenced to death like all the others.

'' I begged him '' you did as you had practiced, pressing the tears out as a pained expression overtook your features.

The prince watched you in awe, a slight sarcastic smirk on his face.

You were different from the others, weren't you?

'' I-I tried to stop him, but he didn't want to listen- '' you wiped the tears tactfully away from your stained face.

'' I could only watch as the blood ran out of his body, until it was cold. I held him until he took his last breath ''

You shook your head.

'' This country prides itself on its fairness. But what justice is it if the murderer of my father gets set free? Shouldn't he suffer, as I have suffered? ''

Your glossy eyes darted towards the commoners' stand, trying your best to beg without audibly saying it. Then they briefly brushed over the royal family's stand too, although they looked less sympathetic.

'' Do you have witnesses? '' the judge asked, looking rather bored by the whole thing, like she had better things to do.

'' Yes, ma'am '' you nodded, enthustiacally.

The doors' to the witnesses' quarters were opened and out came a shy looking boy, around the same age as you. Behind him was his father, following him closely while staring at the ground.

They took their place at the witnesses' stand and you let out a breath of relief, half expecting them to not show up as you had predicted the royal family of paying the witnesses off.

You smiled at them now, feeling more confident than ever that you'd win this case.

'' Where were you on the night of January 24th? '' you asked.

The father nudged the soon forward, urging him to speak.

'' Uh...I was at my home. In the Village of the South, ma'am ''

'' And, what did you see? ''

The boy's eyes seemed to flick momentarily towards the savage man next to you in fear. Maybe he was scared he would get targeted if he spoke out against Jungkook but you had already anticipated that, having watched many trials the prince had been in before - so you softly called out the boy's name again to get him to focus on you, an encouraging smile adorning your face.

'' I was on my way back from the Village of the West. I always go there to pick berries, and I heard a lot of screaming as I had turned my back towards the village. When I went back to investigate, I saw men dressed in royal clothing, plunging their swords into the civilians or entering the houses ''

The crowd murmured, and some shouted out in anger, claiming the boy was lying. You tried to catch his eyes again, drowning out the people and he seemed to understand, he gave you a sad smile while grimacing as the crowd got louder.

'' Are you sure of this? '' the judge said, after slamming her gavel to get the courtroom to be quiet.

'' Yes, and I'm not the only one '' he said, shuffling so his father could get up to the podium.

'' I met my son halfway as the screams could be heard all the way to our village. Us two and more, went in a group to investigate and we saw the same thing my son just described ''

He gestured towards the stand were two gentlemen got on their feet and confirmed they were a part of the group.

When they were seated again, the courtroom was eerily silent. The royals seemed to cast worried glances at each other while the commoners looked at the accused with disgust.

Despite feeling his eyes on you, trying to maybe persuade you with his charm and puppy-like eyes - you refused to look at him until the very end of the trial, when you'd hope he would be taken away.

You knew of his ways and his famous charm. That's how he got away with most things; pretty privilege to its finest.

'' The court will take a brief, five minute break '' the judge said.

You didn't fail to notice how her eyes said something unspoken to Jungkook, and not long after you saw how he disappeared somewhere along with her and his parents.

Those five minutes felt more like a few hours. In the meantime you tried to ignore the stares from the rest of the royal family, assessing you from head to toe.

But thankfully it didn't last too long, some doors to the side swung open exactly as five minutes had passed. You made the mistake of looking, at the judge and then at you opponent who smirked confidently at you.

He took his place next to you again and the judge went up to the front. An unreadable expression was on her face, one that sent unexplainable shivers down your spine.

'' The judgement has been finalised '' she announced.

The murmur from the crowed started again and you couldn't help but murmur to yourself as well. You felt a bit puzzled. Only you had presented your side, yet there was a verdict? This couldn't be good news.

You felt his eyes on you again as you bit the inside on your cheek, basically holding your breath while listening to the judge's next words carefully.

'' The court has found Jeon Jungkook guilty of the murder of Miss. y/n's father ''

You released a breath of relief, a disbelieved laugh slipping out.

'' He has been judged to serve two years in prison ''

You closed your eyes as the tears started streaming down your face and you prayed a thousand times, thanking whatever deity might be up there for their help in this historical moment.

Your hands gripped the corners of the stand while you kept sobbing when you were embraced by the goodhearted witnesses.

Raising your head, you looked at them, smiling while your vision was blurred with tears. It had all been possible thanks to them, because they had refused to be bribed by the royal family's money and had decided to stand by your side instead.

You thanked them as well. There were probably not enough good deeds you could do in this lifetime to repay them though. But you knew you would try your very best to do so; until your very last breath, you'd be at their service.

If there were any insults thrown your way, you didn't hear them. All you could think about was how your father would be so immensely proud of you.

You were escorted out of the court with your newfound friends by your side, and you of course failed to notice the pair of eyes following you all the way out.

There was only euphoria coursing through you, and it would probably remain that way for the rest of the day.

Your friends walked you all the way to your home and you said your goodbyes; promising to visit them early in the morning, eager to pay them back for their help.

You laid down in your bed and another laugh slipped past your lips as you stared lazily at the ceiling.

The best part was that this trial didn't just affect you - hopefully it gave thousands of other citizens the courage to rightfully take justice into their hands, having been servants of that filthy immoral family for so long.

This meant everything. You could already picture in your mind as the royal family was taken down by the public. Their power and members growing weaker as the years passed by, until they completely seized to exist.

Knock, Knock, Knock

You groaned and squirmed out of bed to go to the front door. Opening it, you were met with two unfamiliar faces. Two tall men dressed in suits, your eyes widened - royal suits.

You tried to slam the door shut but they were quicker, putting a foot down in between and forcing themselves inside.

There wasn't anywhere for you to run to, they closed the distance between you in mere seconds and your scream was muffled by the bag being forcefully put over your head.

You screamed silently again as several blows were delivered to your head, a lone tear sliding down your cheek before you passed out completely, engulfed in darkness.

*******

'' Y/n? ''

You fluttered your eyes open, being met with the cold stone floor. The world was tipped and it took some time for your eyes to adjust to the new room.

With the help of the man in front of you, you were now sat upright which made you get a good view of who it was.

'' Did you miss me? '' a childish like grin was plastered onto the handsome face of the man you had seen just about an hour ago in court, the prince.

'' Jungkook? '' you said, voice hoarse.

He hummed, turning his back on you.

At that moment, you didn't feel scared quite yet. It felt more like a sarcastic and humourless smile was about to escape from you, like - of course, of course this was bound to happen.

You had tried to take down the most powerful family of your country, all on your own and you really thought it would work?

Jungkook seemed to read your thoughts as he scoffed when he faced you again.

'' Regretting your choices now, huh? ''

You shook your head, biting your lip so hard blood almost showed. He smiled. A hand ruffling your hair caught you by surprise, making your eyes widen.

'' I bet you felt so happy in that moment, all proud '' he was up on his feet again, pacing with what appeared to be a dagger in his hands.

'' But things aren't as easy as you scums seem to think '' you struggled against the ropes on your wrists upon his insult, face growing hot.

'' It doesn't work like that '' the prince came closer now, crouching down and he pointed casually at you with his dagger as if it was only an index finger and not a murder weapon.

'' Did you really think that I- Jeon Jungkook, would go to prison because of some pathetic low life, like you? ''

He shook his head, looking nauseuous, as if the mere thought of such a thing happening made him want to empty his whole stomach on the stone floor beneath him.

You held the eye-contact he now initiated, confidently.

'' Did you actually think you stood a chance against me? '' he half-whispered, in a low tone.

His eyes looked like he wanted to tear you apart right then and there, and it was getting hard to stay so confident under his stare now.

'' I- '' but you bit your tongue, falling silent as you weren't sure what to say.

The prince laughed sardonically.

'' That's what I thought ''

The dagger was waved towards you again and you flinched without meaning to, your tough facade slowly breaking down as the reality of you being here locked up with the country's biggest psychopath finally dawned on you.

'' What do you want from me? Revenge? '' you managed to choke out.

His hands were nowhere near your throat yet it felt like he was suffocating you slowly with his eyes alone.

Jungkook briefly looked towards your red lips, licking his own while seemingly being in deep thought.

'' Revenge, yeah ''

'' Then kill me, quickly. I have nothing to lose ''

The prince had to stop himself from laughing out loud at your bold statement, he only grinned while his body shook from silent laughter.

'' No ''

'' What? '' your voice was shaky now, it sounded like you were on the verge of tears, which perhaps you were. You felt like you couldn't stand one more minute together with this psycho, and would rather quickly invite death now.

'' I said, no- '' his stern tone and icy glare made you flinch back, head hitting the wall behind you as he got closer yet again.

His hand reached up to caress the back of your head and you squirmed in his grasp uncomfortably.

'' The judge promised me I'd have you, as my...revenge '' a boyish grin replaced the glare he had worn just seconds ago.

Somehow you preferred the stoic look much more. You tried pushing yourself away from him but there was nowhere to go.

'' You tried to take me down but you failed, and they promised me you'd be mine in return '' Jungkook's hand pet your head now, almost as if he didn't see you as a human.

You wanted to die, sink through the ground in embarrassment - anything to escape his tainted hands touching you in any way.

'' I would never kill you, that would be an easy escape. Wouldn't it, darling? '' he hummed, head tilting as his graceful fingers found your jawline to force you to look at him now.

Those doe eyes, that looked so innocent and so sweet. But ones that had in reality been the last thing many had seen before he plunged that beautiful dagger he was twisting in his hands, into their flesh.

[obxsummer]

Dreamcatcher // JJ Maybank

pairing: jj maybank x gn!reader

request: “I broke the lock. You were screaming.” and ❛ promise me you’ll still be here when i wake up. ❜ with jj? gn!reader has been having nightmares every night since the treasure hunting started, and its the first night back in obx after poguelandia and they have a really bad one, and jj is there to help? of course, only write it if you want to, your writing is beautiful! lots of love <3

warnings: nightmares, creepy wound descriptions

a/n: y'all i have no idea why the links are going to the browser the way they are but I'm hoping tumble fixes itself here soon

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#obx3celebration

--

Your time in Poguelandia was hard. Learning how to survive off the island around you was rewarding, but also terrifying. What if you ate something poisonous or someone got seriously injured? Each day got a little bit easier than the one before but you couldn’t lie and say it was a vacation. 

You were glad to be back in the OBX. Although it sucked living back here on your own, it was nice to be back in your bed and to know what exactly you were surrounding yourself with. JJ followed along with you after coming back to an eviction notice on his door. You were more than happy to offer up the extra room in your home, grateful to not have an empty house. 

You’d grown up alongside Sarah Cameron and the Kooks, easily becoming one of her best friends over the years. Eventually, you were dragged into the chaos and solidified your Pogue friendship with Kie, JJ, Pope, and John B. They were your best friends, your steady pillars in a rocky world. Of course, jumping off a boat in the middle of the ocean wasn’t on your bucket list, but you’d do anything for them.

Nothing brought people together better than trauma bonding, of course. In the past month, you and JJ slowly inched closer. Both of you had nobody to return home to and nowhere to be. He was lost and you were broken; two puzzle pieces that oddly fit together. 

JJ was crashing in the guest bedroom, having showered and fallen asleep quickly after the two of you got dropped off. You took your time to get to bed, knowing as soon as you sat on the mattress, you’d be out for hours. 

You didn’t know where your parents were, opting that maybe they never even knew you were gone in the first place. You were quick to find a spare phone and get it set back up in case the Pogues reached out with any news. 

The dark and quiet of your room was intimidating as you lay there on your back. You were so used to the crackle of a dying fire, or one of your friends snoring. The moon almost always cast a light around you as well and the sound of the moving ocean was calming. 

It wasn’t obvious when the dark of your ceiling turned into the dark of your dreams but suddenly, you were back on that island. The sky was black above you with flashes of light from a nearing storm. Turning around, you quickly realized you were alone. You tried not to resort straight to panic but it was hard to do, especially here of all places.

Your feet moved quickly through the terrain as you attempted to make your way back to where you knew your camp was set up. “JJ? Sarah! Hello? Anyone!” Your voice was scratchy as you yelled in hopes that someone would hear you and call back.

Fear bubbled in your chest when you couldn’t find camp. Everything was gone; Sarah’s woven baskets, the fire JJ had built, all of the food you’d surfaced, everything. Everyone.

“Someone! Hello!” You spun towards the open water, the liquid black with the night. You were stranded by yourself, with no way home. No friends to help you. “Help, please!”

“Looking for someone?” The voice of Ward Cameron grabbed your attention instantly. He faded into view, covered in blood, and looked like he meant revenge. “They’re all dead. You killed them.”

“What are you talking about?” You mumbled in confusion. Your eyes dropped to your own hands that were covered in dark red, the liquid practically dripping off your fingers. “Where are they?”

“You’re the reason we’re dead, Y/N.” A hand landed on your shoulder and forced you to spin. John B’s figure was standing in front of you with a noticeable bullet wound in his chest. Blood seeped through his shirt as Sarah walked up behind him with a similar wound in her hip. 

You shook your head drastically, choking on the air in your throat at the sight of them. “No, no it wasn’t me! I-I don’t even-”

“We told you you weren’t cut out for this,” Kiara’s voice interrupted your desperate pleas as she moved into your vision. “You didn’t pull me out of the airplane, Y/N. Why didn’t you pull me out?”

“Stop!” You sobbed as you backed up to put distance between the three of them. This couldn’t be real. You swore you’d never let anything happen to any of the Pogues.

A sickening laugh came from next to you where Cleo and Pope were standing. Their clothing was smoking, almost ashy in nature. “It’s real,” Pope snapped to confirm your thoughts. “You didn’t save us. You said you would save us from the fire.”

Your body heaved at the sight of all of them, so damaged and lifelike in front of you. “No! I wouldn’t have let anything happen I-”

“You caused all of it.” JJ was suddenly right in front of you, bruises littering his body as blood smeared from open wounds. “You watched as my dad ended my life. Didn’t even move, didn’t flinch. You watched all of us die, Y/N, and you didn’t even try to stop it.”

“Now it’s time for us to bring you with us.” Kie’s grin was devilish as they all surrounded you. “Actions have consequences.”

“Y/N! Y/N, wake the hell up!”

You gasped air into your lungs and sat up sharply as the vision faded to nothing. You blinked tears from your eyes and folded over to get oxygen back into your body. Someone’s hand was warm on your back as they rubbed comforting circles.

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” JJ’s voice sent chills down your spine. It was a stark contrast to the vicious, cruel tone you’d witnessed just seconds ago. “Just breathe. I gotcha.”

It took a moment before you could sit back up. You had become too aware of how cold your body was, no doubt from the sweat of whatever nightmare you’d just lived through. “What…What happened?”

“I broke the lock,” JJ admitted as you collapsed into his side and shivered. He cradled you against him tightly. “You were screaming.”

“Sorry, bad dream,” You apologized roughly. Your fingers were clenching the comforter harshly. It felt too real like he would disappear from beneath you in a split second and you’d be facing the consequences of something you caused. 

JJ could feel you shaking in his arms. He’d barely gotten any sleep himself, so the second you cried out he came flying. It was hard not to assume the worst automatically. He’d watched you put on a brave face for so long and a break was inevitable at some point. He just didn’t expect you to scream the way you did. He didn’t hesitate to kick your bedroom door in and run to your side.  

“Do you wanna talk about it?” The question was soft and felt optional for you to agree to. 

You shrugged in his grasp, mumbling a thank you when he handed you the water from your nightstand. Nightmares like this had been happening for a while, ever since the treasure hunting started really. You’d dreamt through most of your memories but through a horrific lens instead. The only person you ever told was Pope, who had told you of similar instances himself. You guys went from being kids who fucked around for fun to life-and-death situations around every corner. 

 “It’s just like…ever since we started looking for the gold, these nightmares have gotten worse and worse. The scary part is they’re all very possible of being true. Of you guys getting hurt or-or worse? And I can’t even stop it, I’m just forced to watch it all unfold until I lose every single one of you.”

JJ was quiet as he listened to you speak. The wavering in your voice as you recounted what you’d seen made him even more upset that you’d dealt with this for so long. It was no secret your friend group got up to mischievous plans, but to know that it was at the point where you lost sleep over the idea of not having them was heartbreaking. 

“It’s all over now,” JJ reassured as his thumb brushed at your cheeks. “Promise. Nothin’s gonna happen to any of us. I wouldn’t let it.”

His words didn’t bring as much comfort as you would’ve liked. Nothing ever really did until you saw each of your friends in front of you and were able to hug them. That’s the only way it ever felt real like the bad dreams were nothing compared to having them around you. 

Your phone flashed 4:22 am back in your direction as you skimmed the notifications. You’d have to wait until it was acceptable to call everyone or gather them up to see them. You let out a defeated sigh, “Thanks, J. You didn’t have to come in.”

“Course I did. Gotta make sure you’re safe,” His response brought a smile to your face as you finally pulled out of his embrace. “Do…Do you want me to stay?”

You took a second to consider his offer before shaking your head and moving away from him. “I’m probably gonna stay awake and I don’t want you to have to-”

“Y/N.” JJ grabbed your hand to pull your attention back to him. “Just answer the question.”

You stared at him for a moment, your teeth digging into the skin on the inside of your lip before you nodded in response. JJ didn’t hesitate to wiggle under your sheets. He was a heavy sleeper so it would likely be easy for him to slip back into a peaceful slumber while you tossed and turned the rest of the night.

“Lay down before I drag you to sleep myself,” His voice was raspy as his fingers tugged against your t-shirt until you gave in and shuffled down next to him. JJ’s hand was warm as it reached across your frame to grab your right him to pull you closer until your chest was against his. “Just try, I gotcha.”

You adjusted so your head rest against his chest, fingers brushing his shirtless side before you settled in. Your busted doorframe could be fixed in the morning. You couldn’t hide the fact that you were still exhausted and JJ’s warmth was taking over as you listened to his steady breathing fill your surroundings. 

“Promise you’ll be here in the morning?” You whispered shyly. Part of you hoped that was enough nightmares for the night but you didn’t wanna jinx yourself.

JJ’s blue eyes blinked open as a small smile formed across his face. His arm moved until his fingers grabbed yours from his side so he could hold them closer. If this was how you had to spend every night from here on out to keep the bad dreams away, he’d chase them until he couldn’t anymore. He’d do anything to make sure you were okay.

“Gonna be right here when you open your eyes. Promise.”

--

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[boxturret]

Bionicle Toa Posters

Did you know that there are multiple variations of the poster that came with the Toa in 2001?

Version 1

I would consider this to be the first version, and in some ways, the best. It features the fullest view of the Toa art and has the least clutter, just the Bionicle logo, Technic logo, and the ID number. The numbers have a consecutive range of 4130827 to 4130832.

The backside of this poster to my knowledge can have two variants. The first is a general Technic advertisement sheet only focusing on Bionicle in one corner, I assume this is the first version based on the 2000 copyright. The second is a much more Bionicle focused image that can also be found on the backs of many Rahi instruction books.

So version 1 has two variants, I would consider the second variant the "Optimal" Bionicle poster, as it has the clearest view of the Toa and the most interesting Bionicle themed back.

Version 2

The 2001 copyright date makes me think this is a later revision. Many things were added in this version, there is now a trademark symbol beside the Bionicle logo, full copyright text has been added along side the ID number, which is now vertical along the left side of the page, the Technic logo has been shrunk and moved to the right, and at the bottom a strip has been added featuring all the Toa similar to what can be found on the canister, although they're named here.

This version seems to exclusively feature the second back layout, which would fit which it being a later addition.

Version 3

At first glance this poster would seem to be the same as the previous version, but there are several key differences. The easiest one to spot is the dropping of the Technic brand, as this is from closer to 2002 (though it still retains the 2001 copyright), when Bionicle became its own line, rather than a subtheme of Technic. The ID number has also been shifted from the left to the right, being placed over the Kopaka tile in the Toa strip. This is the only variation to actually be given a new ID number, though oddly the numbers are not consecutive: 41760[67 | 72 | 74 | 81 | 83 | 85].

In fitting with the 2002 theme the back of this poster prominently features the Bohrok and several newer Technic sets.

There is also a slight error where Kohrak was misprinted, still featuring the identifier they must have used when assembling the image:

And that's all the information I've managed to gather on the posters. My sample size isn't huge, roughly 13 but it seems to be consistent with what I've seen online.

I've made recreations of all 3 types of posters for each of the 6 Toa and have uploaded them HERE.

And the raw scans can be found HERE.

[aurianavaloria]

👑 The King - An Analysis ✨

I've already stated my love for the Kingdom of Heaven soundtrack in a previous post, and in case it wasn't already obvious from my ambience edits, "The King" - essentially, King Baldwin's theme - is one of my favorite tracks on the OST album (if you're curious, "Burning the Past", "Crusaders", "To Jerusalem", and "Ibelin" are my other faves); it so effectively encapsulates his character with several simple variations on a single melody, on top of just being a lovely piece to listen to. What follows is my amateur analysis of this track (fully enabled by @atomnolly - please go check out their art, they're amazing). Please note, however, that I have absolutely zero experience with musical composition and theory. I'm just going by what the piece invokes in me, as a listener, in relation to Baldwin's character in the film.

I'll primarily be analyzing the OST's version of the track, which brings me to my main gripe about the way this piece is presented in the film and one reason why I'm doing this analysis to begin with: there's actually two variants floating out there - the basic OST album version and the Complete/"Full Expanded" album version, the latter of which is how it was implemented in the movie. Unfortunately, in the film, you never get to hear "The King" as its own full track like you do with "Burning the Past", for example. Instead, it's spliced up over the course of several scenes, one of which has nothing to do with Baldwin himself. 🙃

Go figure.

Because of this, I'm using the full "suite" version from the OST (called the "Album Edit" on the complete soundtrack) as, oddly enough, it is far more coherent to listen to than how it actually shows up in the film. More on that later.

The suite opens up with an intro that is called "Golgotha" on the complete soundtrack (unfortunately, Tumblr isn't letting me upload my audio clips no matter what I do, so we'll go by timestamps instead - I highly advise docking the video in your sidebar while you read for convenience). Between 0:00 and 1:20, we get this soft, meandering, mysterious melody on duduk, accompanied by equally mysterious female vocals that briefly drift into a brighter, almost angelic sound. This change in tone is backed by what sounds like a glass harp before the duduk repeats the initial melody.

I've noticed that the "tinkling" glass harp often shows up in the film to seemingly emphasize something ethereal or supernatural, and we mostly hear it in connection to Baldwin, although it does spring up in other places on occasion. Each time it's used, it invokes the slightest bit of tension, as if it's a cue to think more closely about whatever it is the viewer is looking at.

Even more intrinsically tied to his character, however, is the presence of the Armenian duduk, which, if I haven't missed anything anywhere (which I could have), doesn't appear in any track other than those clearly associated with the king. In this way, I think we can effectively say that, as far as the KoH soundtrack goes, the duduk is "his" instrument - fitting, considering his Armenian heritage.

As a side note, this is why it's strange and somewhat frustrating to me to have this intro segment tacked onto Balian's visit at Calvary in the film, because, after hearing it as part of "The King" suite on the album edit, it's obvious that the duduk signals Baldwin's presence. Yet at this point, the king hasn't even been introduced and won't be for a few more scenes. I do believe it replays in full after Balian's invitation to speak with Baldwin, but it is almost completely overshadowed by his conversation with Sibylla, leading the viewer to possibly attach it to her rather than her brother.

Back to the duduk. The Armenian duduk, a double-reed instrument traditionally made of apricot wood, has a very distinctive sound that's been described by listeners as everything from mournful, lonely, and haunting, to relaxing and soulful, to majestic and even romantic, depending on how it is played. This powerful versatility is certainly demonstrated in "The King", beginning with this introduction that I would say ventures into "haunting" territory. In fact, it almost feels like a lure - a siren's call for listeners.

After that call, we get the beginning of what is "The King" on the Extended soundtrack and the first appearance of the leitmotif that is attached to Baldwin from that point forth. Between 1:20 and 1:50 on the album edit, we have a very "gentle" (as @atomnolly put it 😁) melody played on a flute, first heard when Baldwin is beckoning Balian to come closer, again accompanied by the glass harp. While starting at a lilting higher pitch, it soon trails off into a lower one before a slight pause, and then a slide of strings precedes a repetition of that same melody at a lower pitch than the first. A solemn tension builds from then until 2:24, at which point, in the Complete soundtrack, it is very obviously and awkwardly chopped to silence. 🙃We'll get back to that in a bit.

This introduction of Baldwin's leitmotif is a very interesting point of the suite, because the almost light airiness of the flute doesn't last very long. It soon gives way to a much richer, even "darker" sound. For me, this represents what belies the almost angelic appearance of the king - there's far more depth there than his friendly introduction might suggest, and this is reflected in the music itself... brightness intertwined with mystery, and possibly a little danger (this is a king we're talking about, here, with all the power that position provides).

This mystery is further emphasized when the duduk comes back in, echoing the leitmotif between 2:25 and 2:50, and it is further strengthened by the dual presence of the glass harp and growing strings supporting it. Unfortunately, this part doesn't show up at all during Balian's first conversation with Baldwin; in fact, it is put off until the middle of "Terms" on the complete soundtrack: the discussion with Saladin at Kerak. IMO, it would have been far more fitting to have it in the background during the most serious part of Baldwin's lecture (a la my first atmosphere edit); this is really the second-strongest iteration of his leitmotif and should have accompanied his most powerful quote in the film.

What comes after is the closest thing we get to a battle theme for Baldwin. From 2:50 to 3:06 we get another repetition of the leitmotif by the duduk, but in its strongest form: at a higher pitch but with greater power than before, it is accompanied by drums and backed by strings that give a sense of urgency. This is the king on horseback, both right before the meeting with Saladin and immediately following. Utterly gone is the glass harp - mystery gives way to majesty.

The leitmotif then continues with even stronger strings alongside the duduk at a lower pitch from 3:07, almost overpowering it, before being repeated a final time by horns at 3:22. This, I believe, is essentially a royal fanfare of sorts; brass has been associated with military and nobility (as the ultimate leadership of said military) since ancient times, and it is here that the score emphasizes Baldwin's role as commander of his kingdom's army. Again, unfortunately, this part isn't kept singular to Baldwin and is replayed in the future scenes of Balian's battle at Jerusalem - it's possible this is intended to evoke the memory of Baldwin, but it further takes away from the composition's uniqueness.

At 3:37, then, we get a small "falling action" portion that actually doesn't appear where it was intended. According to Drake55116's analysis, this particular bit was actually supposed to play while Baldwin dismounted his horse and approached Raynald in Kerak's courtyard, but was ultimately cut. I'm not sure why - it has a definite sense of "impending doom" to it, not just for Raynald, but for Baldwin himself, as this becomes his last great "hurrah" as king. Both the string and horn buildups are wonderful and really emphasize it as the climax point before the disaster that follows.

After that, interestingly enough, the portion that appears at 4:17 on the album edit is actually put where the leitmotif chops off suddenly during Baldwin's earlier conversation with Balian on the Extended soundtrack. To be honest, I think it would have served just fine during or even after Baldwin's interaction with Raynald instead. The slide of the low strings and the slightly discordant horns continue that regal majesty, but also provide appropriate tension for the situation.

Briefly returning to the initial conversation between Baldwin and Balian - there is one portion of the theme that is reserved for the Complete soundtrack and doesn't appear on the OST album edit: at 56:28 there is a unique high string version of the king's leitmotif followed by a slower, half repetition by the duduk, which has had an echo added to it. It essentially serves to "close-out" their conversation after Baldwin gives his orders to go to Ibelin. This iteration is much, much softer in tone, and with the echo and the growing glass harp sound alongside it, it seems to purposefully emphasize the ethereal mystery of the king, but this time with a definite positive tone... perhaps reflective of Balian's hopeful outlook on him?

Back to the album edit. From 4:42, the leitmotif appears again as an even higher flute than it first appeared, almost delicate. A deliberate pause follows with emphasis on the glass harp between 5:06 and 5:15 before the duduk echoes the theme one last time... the softest and slowest it's played on the whole track as it extends to the end. Here, from 4:42 onward, is the dying king. A certain innocence is reflected in the high flute notes, weariness and vulnerability conveyed through the duduk. Despite being the gentlest segment of the suite, it is perhaps the most powerful way to close it out, the prior strength and mystery quite literally fading away into nothing.

In essence, I think "The King" would have been much more effective presented in the movie exactly as it appears as a suite on the OST, going precisely in that order and restricted to Baldwin's appearances alone. As a whole, it perfectly illustrates the king as a character - the flute and glass harp reflecting the angelic elegance, the horns the majesty, the duduk the mystery, power, and tragedy. Harry Gregson-Williams's composition is beautifully-deep despite its relative simplicity, and it adds so much to every scene in which Baldwin appears; thoughtfully-crafted to invoke the above feelings in the audience, it effectively enhances the Leper King's brief but powerful presence in the film.

[unofficials4t4n]

ALRIGHT BITCHES LEMME LEARN YOU A THING OF SORTS

THESE MOTHERFUCKERS MIGHT AS WELL BE SEPARATE CHARACTERS AND SO, LADIES, GENTLEMEN, AND OTHERS, I'M EXPLAINING WHY THAT IS INDEED THE CASE

Slenderman

8 feet tall, sometimes taller, can change height

6 or more extra appendages on his back, can retract at will and extend with unknown limits (not tentacles, no suckers, but behaves in a similar way)

Two piece suit that seems to always fit it, black or charcoal gray, and black or red tie, white button-up shirt, black dress shoes, white socks or no socks, who knows

Faceless, sometimes has the impression of eye sockets

White skin

Anatomically seems to be comparable to an elongated human, usually proportionally correct to a human just way longer, sometimes has longer limbs than human proportionally

Seems to be radioactive, interfering with nearby technology and making nearby humans sick. Doesn't seem to affect animals

Lives in the woods/ own pocket dimension

Consistently seems to find messed up people and adopts them, whether this is out of compassion or something ulterior motive depends on the source

Has pages that he supposedly draws himself (some sources say they're from a daughter, her whereabouts depends on the source)

Talks, telepathic or not depends on the source

Has above human intelligence but is pretty comparable to a human mentally

Can be aggressive to humans, equally, can become friends with them, often an 'imaginary' friend of children and disturbed people of any age

Many sources give him a whole family of similar beings

Can teleport

Steals children for unknown reasons sometimes

Literally just a guy

The Slenderman

A.K.A - The Operator, The Administrator, The Keeper, Der Großmann, Der Chirurg, The Tall Man, The Faceless King, The Faceless Angel, The Ajax Monster, Stick-in-the-mud, The Tree That Walks, Mr. Slim, The Host, The Tall Fucker, Gorr'Rylaehotep

Appears from about 6 feet tall to 20 feet, potentially taller

Sometimes has extra arms

'Appendages' on back are cracks in reality where it breaks through

Appears to wear a suit and tie, although hard to distinguish

Face is not fully comprehensible to humans and cannot be picked up on camera

Misshapen, humanoid, comparable to a man shaped tree

Psychically attacks humans for unknown reasons, footage of it is almost always heavily distorted

Interdimensional, can hop between at least two dimensions at will

Infects and messes up humans for unknown reasons

Oddly effects people into drawing and graffiting a series of images and symbols

Seems to put thoughts and information into people's mind, shares information by airdropping that shit basically

Unknown intelligence, seems to hold information of huge consequences

Seems to have incredibly harmful effects on humans, whether intentional or not is debatable

Only one of its kind

Can displace itself to any point of the universe, any space, any time, as it isn't bound by our rules

Cause people to go missing, kharm or kill themselves and others, and other drastic behaviors

Essentially a god

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

[nuuspace]

The Door to Nowhere

In a chamber of forethought, Gris vanishes.

Their consciousness fades and their corporeal tangibility becomes meaningless in an instant. The life they once experienced is a memory that will inevitably wash away into the infinite pool.

All the aforementioned precedents vanish. Gris sighs, their new sight hazed.

Clouds of verdant and mauve, serpents and groves; each piece of abstraction their brain pieces together for milliseconds before their vision clears.

Today, they stand tall. Today, they are a man.

His shoulders relax, his legs remain tense. He's standing. Around him, a large crowd of people talk amongst themselves. Every few ticks, they stagger towards the direction he was supposedly facing.

He stands in a hallway as thick as roughly five people if they lay flat on the floor, that of which is covered in blue carpet, just as the walls. Between the floor and walls are oddly-angled stairs, covered in the same carpet, no seams to be found. The ceiling breaks the pattern, an off-white tile, splattered with occasional faux dirt specks to help with the immersion. Peering above the many heads, he notices the hallway may be one-hundred steps until the presumed destination. Soon after he twists his body around, he feels very light-headed.

The hallway extends for what feels like forever. As it gets further away, it curves upward, completely disregarding gravity, if it were even there in the first place. Gris does not bode well with odd geometry, albeit the entirety of Nuuspace.

He turns back and grounds himself, focusing on his new body; black lax jeans, white ragged t-shirt, and an olive, loose-fit waxed cotton jacket.

There's a gap in front of him in-between the crowd, so he moves forward to close it.

Gris is not particularly used to looking down on others. Most of his bodies are petite. It can be assumed that his original body was closer to that size, considering the pattern. People prefer familiarity after all. However, this body is more burly and old than the others. Not too old, no, perhaps in its late thirties. But far out of the standard range of Gris' experiences. Whether it's one of his own or one that's preoccupied, he chooses to keep it as is.

He turns to his left to find a relatively young man; black hair, black jeans, gray crop-top. He scoots toward him.

"What are we doing?" He asks the young man, his new voice deep and soft.

"We?" The young man asks. "Well I'm waiting in line. What are you doing?"

"I'm waiting in line as well," He assumes. Gris looks toward the presumed destination. At the end of the hallway, there is a set of wide doors, but that's the extent that isn't abstracted by the crowd. Periodically, the doors open and close in an odd pattern. Perhaps, and more likely, it's a series of doors.

"What are you waiting in line for?" He asks the man.

"The edge of the universe." The young man verbalizes.

Gris ponders for a moment. "Is that… dangerous?"

The young man stands in line.

Gris sighs. He moves past the man, as those around him inch towards the door once again. Maneuvering through the crowd is hardly an inconvenience; although there are many people, there are no obstacles, and no obstructed paths. He moves toward the stairs on the sides; no guard rails and no separation from the floor or carpet. The stairs jut out from the floor like an odd extension of the hallway's body, while the carpet acts as its skin. They're rotated in a way that makes them feel more like spikes, a rather unorthodox design for something that is presumed to be traversed.

And yet, Gris' curiosity bests him. He walks onto the stairs, and loses his balance, falling to the ground. He quickly regains his footing, only to realize that everyone else is standing on what seems to be a slope. It's as if his and their gravity are separate, relative to the surface they're standing on. The stairs are no longer at an angle, the hallway is.

The doors at the end of the hallway are now at the bottom of the stairs. There is no longer a queue for Gris, if there ever was one in the first place.

Down the stairs, passing each soul. Each in their own world, in their own space, slowly inching towards their supposed destination; none bat an eye. There are no obstacles, there is no trouble. There is nothing stopping them from getting to where they want. What is it that they're waiting for?

He arrives. The wall at the end houses a series of doors, each identical, laid out next to each other in a row. No one comes through, they only enter. Door opens, one enters, door closes. Again. And again. And again.

Gris steps off the stairs. His gravity returns to normal, flinging him upright. The vertigo sends a wave of nausea through his body from top to bottom.

One door remains still—no one enters. As if the door is waiting for him. He approaches the door and caresses the cold wood surface, moving his hand down to grasp the door knob. Ice cold.

For but a moment, he forgets that his body is not his own. Whether this was the door his host was meant to be in or not, this was the door for him. He opens it and walks through.

All that lay ahead is the hallway he just stood in. Nothing more, but so much less. No one stands in the room, waiting. No one stands in the room, moving forward. He turns the other way. The door is gone.

All of that curiosity, all for nothing. The anticipation. The waiting. Just for it to end in absolutely nothing, in absolutely nowhere.

His consciousness begins to fade. His time is up. Ended so perfectly at this moment, as if destined to be.

From here to there, and inevitably everywhere, Gris will continue their journey until the end of time itself. Changing lives, creating new ones. Injecting new points into stories, and retconning old ones. All at random, forever and ever.

As Gris leaves the man behind to deal with the actions of his possessor's consequences, they enter an echo chamber. Doubt, regret, sorrow. Remorse.

All the aforementioned precedents vanish.

And they begin anew once more.

[aheathen-conceivably]

Hello! Merry Christmas and good luck in the new year! I have a question, I don’t know if it’s been asked already, but I’m interested to know which of your characters is closest to you in spirit? What traits do you have in common with him? And vice versa. Which character is the most difficult for you to write, which you do not always understand: his actions, words and motivation, because you are a real writer and are probably good at the psychology of heroes (I really apologize for the distorted sentences, because I am a foreign subscriber and use a translator)

Absolutely no need to apologize, Nonny! Everything looks great and thank you so much for taking the time to send these thoughtful questions 💕

Y’all already know the rambler in me is getting all excited, so prepare y’all selves! Though I must say, it’s quite hard to pinpoint an answer, mostly because there’s at least a small bit of myself in each of the characters and who’s easiest to write is not always who is the most like me? So naturally, let’s go below the cut, and I’ll split this into sections to make it easier for us to read 😘

1. My spirit characters:

Honesty time. I think that it’s easier for me to put my “negative” qualities into characters and thus also easier to recognize them in hindsight. This is probably because it’s simply often easier to see what needs to be improved in yourself than vice versa, but also probably because I’m a dramatic broad who likes giving her characters flaws.

So although I could probably find a bit of myself in most characters, I would say those who are most like me are Rosella, Zelda, and Violette. Just down to sims traits, Rosella and my simself actually both have the self-absorbed trait (oops). I think this manifests in different ways, but at its core I’m just as likely to follow my wants and cut ties as she is. I also have a ~rather strong~ proclivity for the aesthetic and vain, enjoying beautiful things for their own sake often to the point of distraction. However, I like to think that this is tertiary to me, and my pursuit of them is not as detrimental as it was for her.

Which brings us to, of course, Zelda. Zelda shares this love of the beautiful with her sister, although for her it can extend into the ephemeral and artistic rather than simply the mundane. I would say I share that tendency toward internal existentialism with her, as well as the proclivity to separate from my immediate surroundings rather than live in the present moment. I, like her, can thus often seem “out of it” but in reality we’re just interpreting our surroundings through a distorted, if not tinted lens. However, I’m by no means as artistically talented or reserved as Zelda, which brings us to….

Our little heiress, Violette. Now I’ll try not to get too deep into spoilers here, but Little Lottie and I definitely share some core tendencies. I, like her, despise being told what to do, and will usually become more stubborn or do the opposite simply because of what someone said (whether it’s well intentioned or not). I can also be gregarious, dramatic, and loud when I want to be, and enjoy being the center of attention. However, I think the Zelda in me tempers that so that I need to retreat back into my cave after a while, while Violette thrives on it. I was also raised an only child, so a lot of Lottie’s experience with loneliness and not knowing how to relate to other children is coming from my own childhood.

2. The easiest to write:

So oddly, I don’t think there’s a clear connection between the characters who are most like me and those I find easiest to write. Rather I think that comes from the historical situation that is currently inspiring me, which character fits into that inspiration the best, and how clear of a grasp I have on that character’s personality. This often comes in the form of scenes just appearing in my head, and as I write it’s like the sentences already exist? So there’s this natural understanding between the character and me, where I don’t really have to sort through thought rubble or force their perspective quite as much?

This answer is highly dependent on what part of the story we are currently in. As in, there have been times I have found a character easy to write, and then it will suddenly switch. Zelda is absolutely one of those characters, as her perspective came very naturally to me in parts of the 1910s and then again after motherhood. Now, I find it easier to write the characters surrounding her, and I’m sure it will switch again at some point in the future.

Currently? I find Josephine easiest to write (although she is not very similar to me at all, and her deep fear of commitment is something that I don’t share in the slightest), with Antoine coming in as a close second. Violette’s perspective in the 1940s has also kind of begun presenting itself to me, although at various points I would say that Adelia, Virginia, and Florence have all also been the easiest characters to write for, and those who’s voices have inspired me to come up with new scenes and plotlines.

3. Who even is she?

Now for the characters who are least like me? That one has gotta probably gotta go to Florence, Virginia, and Antoine. As much as I may want to be like Florence, I’m gunna be honest with y’all and say that is not the case. Starting with the fact that I strongly dislike the great outdoors. Farming? Nah. Camping? Absolutely not. Living of the land? What a pleasant dream. What can I say, I am absolutely a Rosella; I enjoy being fancy and comfortable, and Florence in some ways is the antithesis of this. She also embodies selfless generosity and a sort of steady love, which are not things that I would say I really relate to (I once again point you to answer 1 😅).

Now Virginia is a strange one. I was actually very concerned with writing her, because I share none of the righteousness or quickness to action that define her. Likewise, I don’t think that I am able to remain as steady and surefire in tragedy and trauma as she does. So when I first conceived her character I thought I would have great difficulty writing her, but as I mentioned above, despite the fact that she is probably the least similar to me of all the Darlingtons, I found her easy and almost natural to write once we began her storyline.

Which brings us to my baby boy. Sigh. I say this next because Antoine has easily been one of the most natural characters for me to write. I think this is because I had such a clear vision of him from the start that has really been able to grow through the story. So he’s remained who he is through it all, and why I still find him so easy to write.

Despite this, there is very little to none of me in his character, despite the fact that I maybe sorta have a thing for the broken artist stereotype (hello, hubs, I know you’re out there 😙). So there may be some ways in which I wrote my partner into his character’s talent and approach to the world around him, but he is heavily inspired by these ideas of “old fashioned masculinity”, of self-imposed stoicism and protection and fatherhood. These are feelings that I have to imagine rather than pull from experience, but somehow the more I write him the more real they become to me as well.

4. The ~struggle~

Hands down the hardest characters for me to write have been Oliver and Isaiah. I think that Oliver really suffered from the fact that he was my first gen heir, so I was at a place in the story and my writing process where I wasn’t as sure in what I was doing or as good at honing into what I wanted to do. Then by the time this became more clear to me, I had really begun to lean into writing Florence’s character and then his children. So he kind of became less of a focus, and the less I focused on him the harder it was for me to define his voice, which then became a cycle.

I think if I could go back, I would lean more into the connection that I see between him and the romantic poets, really kind of exploring that juxtaposition between idealized nature and reality. I also think his position as a pseudo-wealthy aristocratic and failed businessman had a lot of potential, but alas, you live and you learn.

Now onto the Forgotten Child. Y’all (and I) call him that for a reason, and I think next to his sisters it’s no secret that Isaiah received much less focus (I even have a post about him realizing this 😂). Part of this is just that he’s the youngest, so I really didn’t get much time to explore his adult life or even his teenage years. It’s also because trying to juggle six perspectives all at once means that some are going to suffer more than others.

Now that being said, I am happy with his storylines. However, they often felt more like I was exploring plots I had come up with rather than really viewing things through his perspective. I think this is the biggest challenge to me when having trouble writing a character: it’s that their voice is just for whatever reason not really clear in my mind. Even in the subsequent decades, our English Darlington updates are mostly going to come from Summer, because I still have never really gotten my finger on exactly who Isaiah is. For that reason, my poor forgotten baby boy is probably the most difficult character for me to write.

—

ALSO if you made it this far please know that turning your delightful questions into a multi-paragraph rant about myself is a very self absorbed and very Rosella/Violette thing to do so in the end…I think you have all the answer you need right there 🤣

[a-b-riddle]

Taken Chapter Twelve: Reasoning

Warnings: Religious Trauma, Cult, Forced Marriage, Kidnapping, Stalking, Stockholm Syndrome, Non-Con, Dub-Con. Violence against women. Threats and intimidation. Childhood Trauma.

"Good girl." He rubbed her cheek affectionally with his thumb. His condescending words of praise made her stomach churn. His eyes caught at the time on his watch. Elizabeth tried not to let out a sigh of relief as he pulled his hand off of her face.

"It's getting late." He noted, standing up. "Time to call it a night." She wanted to say how the movie wasn't even over yet, but thought better of it. Hell, she hadn't even been paying attention to it for the last half hour, but the idea of going to bed.... with him... What little she ate for dinner was itching to come back up again.

Bucky pushed himself off of her and held out his hand. 'What a gentleman.' She thought bitterly although her face was able to mask any disgust she felt. Elizabeth had played this game before and knew it all too well. Her moment of hesitation prompted Bucky to pick her up.

With the same swiftness as before, he scooped her up in a typical heroic fashion that would have normally have her swooning, but now it has lost its' magic. Lucky for him, her tiredness outweighed her resentment. Her body couldn't muster up the strength to recoil from his proximity. Maybe it was the drugs of whatever he had given her still lingering in her system or the adrenaline high she had been sporting for most of the day. Either way, there was no fight in her left. For now. Even Bucky could feel her relaxing as she became dead weight in his arms, her head resting against his chest.

 "Tomorrow will be better."  Bucky's promise fell on deaf ears, but, like any man, he continued to speak regardless. "We'll get more food in you and press restart on our vacation."

"This isn't a vacation, Bucky." She replied before she could think. She looked up, expecting to see a scowl or a look that meant that she had ruined what he believed to be a nice evening. Instead she saw what appeared to be... disappointment? But no anger. Oddly enough. Solemn, perhaps, was more fitting? She continued, hoping to invoke some sort of empathy.   "You are hurting me by keeping me here."

"How?" Surely he was joking. Caging a woman, his partner, like a damn feral animal he hoped to domesticate. "It's not any different than being in the city."

"What?" She questioned as he began to ascend the stairs. "It's very different, Bucky. I'm not here willingly." She was being bold. She knew it was stupid, but she had lost the ability to hold her tongue.

"You're in no different predicament than you were last night." He said it so matter-of-factly it startled her.  "You were staying with me in the city because you didn't have a choice. Here at least we can work through your issues. Together, sweetheart." The man was delusional. Her issues. As she was the one who had kidnapped him. As if she were the one in the wrong.

"This is kidnapping, Bucky." She noticed how he walked right past the master and down toward the room she had slept in earlier. She didn't say anything. Not wanting to give him any indication that she wanted to sleep with him instead. "You lied to me. You took Mia." She wasn't sure why she had thrown that last bit in. Maybe its what hurt the most. Mia had been her own source of comfort, of security for as long as she had her. And that too had been stripped. Even if she were stuck here with Bucky, she wouldn't have been totally alone.

"You're acting like I sent her off to the shelter." He scoffed, walking into her room. "I'm reasonable, Bird. Once things are solid between us, we can get her back. Hell." He smiled, thinking to himself. The idea of him and her back in the city. Meeting Steve for dinner or, even better, having him over while his pretty little bird cooked for them. He could practically see it now. "Maybe even go back to the city if things go alright." He set her down on the bed. He didn't say anything else as he tucked her in as if she were a child. Elizabeth felt utterly humiliated at the act. As if she needed him touching her anymore than necessary.

He had almost shut the door when she spoke again. 

"Why wasn't..." He stopped. "Why wasn't what we had enough?" She felt pathetic, but she truly did want to know. What had been so terrible about being with her before? She had been happy and all this time, this was Bucky's plan? Had she actually been that naive to think he wanted her for who she was?

"Oh, Doll." Bucky didn't miss the hurt in her voice or the pain etched onto her face. Her eyes now glassy and teeth biting into her bottom lip as if she were holding in a cry. "It was fine for then. You were great. But you were going too slow, Doll." He tried to reassure.

It would have been less of a shock if he had slapped her. Slow? He thinks they were going slow? They hadn't even dated more than a few months before she moved in with him. They weren't even really officially dating before they slept together. If all those were slow, what the fuck was a decent pace? What was 'too fast'?

"I really want you to think..." He said, now leaning against the door frame. "What is so bad about it?" She gave him an incredulous look. "Seriously?" He crossed his arms over his broad chest. "You don't need to work and things won't be that different. Just a few adjustments and and mutual understanding on  how things are going to be."

"And that is?" She worried what his answer was going to be. She knew the route men took when it came to breaking women. Bucky was stronger than any man she had ever met. He had more resources as well. 

"You'll see."  It felt like more of a threat than a promise. "Sleep tight, Birdie." He offered her a soft smile before closing the door. The faintest sound of a clicking following, indicating that Bucky had once again locked the door. Even if she hadn't heard it, Elizabeth wouldn't delude herself into the idea that Bucky had been thorough. He had waited long enough, made her think she was safe before striking. Even now, he was playing her. He hadn't hurt her physically. He hadn't turned things sexual since last night. He was holding onto his mask that covered the monster beneath.

She knew if she wanted to get out, she had to realize Bucky was three steps ahead of her. He probably had a security alarm in place that would go off if had tried anything. It wouldn't surprise her if the lunatic had spare ropes stashed somewhere in the room if she even attempted to make it out the window. 

The only thing that was surprising was the fact that he had left her alone. Perhaps to see what she would do tonight. She knew it was foolish to react so quickly. She needed to make Bucky think she had given up. For now that was the plan. She didn't bother plotting in her head what to do after. She wouldn't let herself stay up agonizing over how to escape or when to try.

Instead, she thought of the books she had left unfinished back in the city. She thought about the smell of warm bagels and how she couldn't wait to taste coffee again. She thought of her tiny, but cozy apartment. She thought about how Christmas was coming soon and all the lights and ambience that would engulf the city.

She thought of everything, but the locked door and the psycho behind it.

[orionsangel86]

I watched every goddamn episode and I have no fucking clue what Loki is supposed to be about. So.. he's the tree of life now or something? For some reason? He walked out into space, grabbed a bunch of time vines, sat down and now he's inside a tree. Ok Marvel.

Not gonna lie i have spent most of this season feeling a bit confused. Didnt understand most of what was going on throughout this series but then I've lost the plot with the MCU for a while now.

Although I will say that however else you look at it, for Loki's character arc specifically that was a beautiful example of poetic irony.

The way he always wanted a throne right back in the first Thor movie, the way he first says in The Avengers "I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose". The way that Loki wanted to be a powerful God in his own right, in control of his own fate and not overshadowed by his brother, and then he goes through all that, realises he doesnt want that at all, he wants what everyone wants, friendship, love, not to be alone, and yet... and yet...

He got the throne in the end. Not by choice, but by an act of sacrifice. He is now the most powerful person in the MCU. He Who Remains, in control of not just the sacred timeline, but all the timelines, the entire multiverse. He is the tree of life. He is Yggdrasil (the tree of life in Norse Mythology) and what a redemption arc, what a development from that sad lonely prince.

I thought that was amazing. I may not have understood much else, but Loki has always been my favourite MCU character, and there is something so beautifully tragic about that ending. Its shakespearean, and its so fitting for him.

I dunno if this is the end for Loki, or if there will be a s3 or if he will turn up in future MCU projects (to be honest him turning up is probably the only way I'd watch another MCU project) but if it is the end for him I'm oddly okay with it. The Loki at the End of Time. Poor thing. Poor lonely god.

Also the fanfiction will be marvelous. ;)

[richmonds-disaster-bi]

Roy/Jaime idea: Another charity gala is coming up and everyone has to attend. Roy and Jaime are together, Roy having let Jaime pick out their outfits which surprisingly enough are tasteful, complement each other, and they both look elegant. While Roy is grumbling and growling as he gets ready, Jaime is oddly quiet. When Roy turns he sees Jaime just staring at him and smiling softly, blatantly admiring. When Roy asks him what he's staring at, Jaime says " My gorgeous grumpy man." before he gets back to getting ready. I picture Roy scoffing, while secretly touched by the words, and then his like "fuck it" and goes across the room to give his sweet Tartt a proper snog. They may or may not end up arriving fashionably late to the gala.

This is adorable

Roy hated these things. By that he meant the galas and the suit he was currently wrestling with. Although he would admit that Jamie had done a great job. His suit, to anyone else, would just look like a standard black, but it wasn't. Jamie had found a shade of black that Roy loved and made him look sharp and handsome, and it matched with Jamie's own suit even if it was more coloruful than Roy's. Yet even though he loved it, Roy couldn't help but curse and groan under his voice as he struggles with the tie. He comes up with some inventive names that he expects will draw a giggle out of the man on the other side of Roy's walk in closet, but it's met with silence. When Roy glances up, Jamie is watching him. He's leaning back against the shelves, his shirt fitted perfectly and tucked into trousers that show off that sculpted work of art that is his arse and Roy can't wait to get them off him later. Yet its the way he's smiling that catches Roy off gaurd. It's one he hasn't noticed before, and Roy has spent hours learning every expression and noise Jamie makes. It's soft, a fond thing that warms Roy's chest and overwhelms him until words escape his mouth without a filter. "The fuck you staring at Tartt?" "My gorgeous grumpeh man", Jamie grinned, fiddling with the buttons on one of his cuffs as he ran his eyes over Roy's body. "Stop that", Roy warns, watching the way Jamie does that thing with his tongue that Jamie knows Roy finds distracting, "Rebecca and Keeley will have our balls if we're late again" "I'm not doing anything", Jamie says innocently but the way his eyes darken and he looks at Roy with nothing but want is anything but innocent. Their eyes lock, and Roy swears, he swears he isn't going to give in and then Jamie bites his lip. "Fuuuck", Roy growled, stalking forward and not caring about the material of Jamie's shirt wrinkling under his hands as he hauls him into a filthy kiss that has Jamie clinging to him, vibrating with need and pressing his hardening cock against Roy's thigh. So what if they turn up late with wrinkled clothes and Jamie looking absolutely fucking wrecked.....at least they showed up.