#(also of course because i have SO MANY FEELINGS about the dumpster fires and i have not yet exorcised them all into a word doc)

[lemotmo]

Hi!! First, I just wanted to say I always enjoy checking out your posts because you have such great takes and treat every single ask with such respect. Even when it’s something that you may disagree with, you always take the time to ensure everyone that it’s just your opinion and respect the other person’s point of view! :) It’s so refreshing to see because I feel like over hiatus especially the fandom has become somewhat of a dumpster fire…lol.

Also, I agree completely about Oliver. He always says that he trusts Tim and his writing so I don’t think he would necessarily ask to have Lou leave or for BT to end abruptly or anything. And as much as we all say “oh he hates that man” we truly don’t know. What we do know, at least by his tweets at the time, was there was some tension in his friendship with Ryan several years back. Like it’s crazy to think during the shooting arc and will scene and Eddie breakdown arc in s5 that there was so much tension offscreen. It just goes to show how much of a professional he is! I also don’t think the other side is true either where Oliver is apparently purposely not promoting BT or interacting with Lou on social media to “protect him from the buddie fans.” I just think Oliver isn’t super active on social media for his own reasons and people look waaayyyy too much into things. Anyway, sorry this was so long winded LOL I just wanted to point out that we truly don’t know Oliver or his thoughts and feelings and some people making these inferences sound almost more like headcanons and it’s giving parasocial.

First of all, thank you Nonny. That means a lot to me. I always do my very best to try to stay respectful towards people and ships on my blog. That doesn’t mean that I don’t give my very honest opinions and critical takes on certain topics, but I don’t feel the need to yell over it and use more explicit language. I also avoid specific shipping tags for ships I don’t like and character tags for characters I don't like. I find that being respectful like that ultimately gets you further.

Now, that also doesn’t mean that I don’t get frustrated with some takes in fandom. But I mostly -and wisely- choose to rant about that to some of my Tumblr mutuals/friends in private. Throwing out all of my more hateful frustrations in public would only generate more hate and I try to avoid that. My inbox is so much more interesting when I get positive asks. I admit that I get so many asks these days that it has become impossible to answer them all.

Now, I do want to reply to your ask because you talk about a few topics that are near and dear to my heart and -of course- I have some opinions about. 😊

I first want to address The Ryan part of your ask. I was around in fandom during those days. It wasn’t pretty, but the way people talk about this now is a complete overreaction. The cast’s reaction to this event totally gets blown out of proportion. There was some tension for a while there, sure. Oliver deleted some of his tweets/Instagram posts that had to do with Ryan and then he unfollowed him.

But it was obvious that it didn’t take Oliver and the rest of the cast too long to move on. I’m pretty sure that, by the time the shooting arc came along, followed closely by the breaking down arc, Oliver and Ryan were on good terms again. Maybe not as close as they were before at that specific moment, but still on good terms. Both men are professionals and they did such a fantastic job when it came to those amazing scenes.

Now, don’t get me wrong, what Ryan said was inappropriate and disrespectful, I agree. However, the man apologised immediately and he has been working hard since then to become a better and lighter version of himself. And he has succeeded as we can all see how well he gets along with the entire cast and especially the POC in the cast that have completely moved past his mistake.

These days Ryan and Oliver are like two peas in a pod. They have always been close and they have always had insane chemistry, but ever since the beginning of season 7 it has all been ramped up. I’m one of the people convinced that they got the news that Buddie is finally happening. That they got the green light to go there. Which is something they have wanted for a long time now.

Now, second… as to Oliver not liking Lou? I’m afraid that I’m going to have to disagree with you on this one. I really do think that Oliver doesn’t like Lou all that much. If he was upset and angry over what Ryan said in one video a couple of years ago, I can only imagine his horrified reaction to all those terrible, disrespectful and inappropriate Instagram posts Lou made, for which he hasn’t apologised at all by the way. That interview he did with Lou also doesn’t help. Oliver wasn’t comfortable at all. His body language screamed: “I don’t want to be here.” And Lou just kept on talking about himself. I don’t know why Oliver was even there. BT was hardly even mentioned.

So, while I don’t think that Oliver would ask Tim to get rid of Lou, I only think he wouldn’t ask in function of the Buddie arc they are telling. If Tommy’s presence is necessary in that arc? Oliver will suck it up like the professional he is, because if there is one thing he wants more than anything for Buck, it’s Eddie. If Tim were to tell Oliver that he wanted to take the BT relationship further in any way, I do think he would protest and say ‘no’.

Oliver not promoting BT or Tommy has to do with the fact that he knows that Tommy isn’t sticking around as Buck’s love interest. Tommy is a plot device. He has always been a plot device. That is the way the show set him up. He is meant to have a purpose in the Buddie arc. What that purpose is? We don’t know. But it’s all there in the narrative for those who are willing to look at it logically and from a writer’s point of view.

A few seasons ago Oliver just stopped talking about Buddie. In some of his latest interviews he confessed that he stopped talking about them because he didn’t want to lead the fans on. He knew it would never happen under FOX. As soon as the show came into the hands of ABC, he started yapping about Buddie again. Him and Ryan were so vocal about them. It was clear that something had shifted. They knew that they were finally going there. Buddie was happening, but it would take some time to get there.

When they got renewed it was obvious that Tim decided to take his time for Buddie and put a temporary break on their development, so he could do it right in season 8. That didn’t stop him from putting them together in every other scene they were in. 😉

Now, like with all good slow burn couples there has to be a narrative foil. And in comes Tommy. Tommy who seems interested in Eddie. Buck who clearly gets jealous over the fact that Tommy is stealing Eddie (and Chris) from him. And then Tommy realising that he won’t get far with Eddie, but Buck (who is completely confused about his own emotions at this point) seems a little interested, so why not give it a go?

So, why is Oliver not talking about Tommy or engaging with anything BT while he still talks about Buddie and interacted with Buddie stuff up until the finale? Because he knows where the story is heading. History is repeating itself. Oliver doesn’t want to lead the BT fans on, so he simply doesn’t react or interact with anything Tommy or BT. And there is also the element that it is very clear right now that both Oliver and Ryan are actively rooting for Buddie and only Buddie. They know what their characters need. Love that for us! 😊

None of this is about headcanons by the way. It has been said -in words- time and time again, by Oliver himself (and Ryan as well) that he would love Buddie to happen, if it was written well. He shows it in everything he does on social media. Him and Ryan talked about reading fan fiction and watching video edits. I mean, he couldn’t make it anymore clear that he wants Buddie and not BT. So, this is not a headcanon. This is fact.

This is also not about parasocial relationships. We all like Oliver and Ryan, but most of us admire them from afar. We don’t go into their inboxes to message them or we don’t send them weird messages. I know that there are always some more outspoken fanatics in every fandom and the Buddie fandom is not an exception to that. It sadly cannot be avoided, but overall we have been pretty good as a fandom I would say.

That brings us to Lou and his army of goons…

Mind you, I’m not talking about the many normal and lovely sane BT fans and multi-shippers who genuinly like Tommy. Ship and let ship and all. Most of these fans fully realise that Tommy’s time on the show is probably limited. Anonymous OP shoutout!

I’m talking about the select few (the more outspoken and loud fandom fanatics I mentioned before) who accused Buddie fans of hacking one of their Twitter accounts and who thought it was a swell idea to DM Tim with a too long video about strings of fate (which Tim later admitted to never watching)  and ask him about Tommy’s age and other stuff. That is just crazy and a big no no in any fandom. Leave the show runners and actors alone. I don’t care who you ship. Just leave them alone.

The biggest problem is this: Lou made up a bunch of nonsensical headcanons about Tommy and BT that go against every single thing we have seen in canon so far. Canon has shown us, time and time again, that Tommy isn’t really interested in Buck for a loving relationship. Everything he says is reduced to sexual innuendo. And no, I am not a little quivering virgin lady who is afraid of sex and who doesn’t understand the dynamics between two adults in a sexual relationship. I am, in fact, an adult who has had sexual relationships and who knows exactly how relationships work between two adults in their thirties or forties.

Fully grown adults have paid hundreds of dollars to listen to Lou spout his nonsense. These people have all bought the same shirt Lou was wearing in one of his cameos. They call it the Louniform. These people believe every single thing that comes out of Lou’s mouth and take it as gospel. They have extensively hated on Ryan and Eddie. And lately they have even been hating on Oliver because he doesn’t support BT enough in their eyes.

Now that, THAT is a textbook example of a parasocial relationship with an actor.

They call the Buddie shippers ‘homophobic’ for not liking a character. I myself have received some asks in my inbox accusing me of being homophobic. I’m sorry, But WHAT? Look, I have never lied about not vibing with Tommy. I don’t like him as a character. I’m not hateful about it. I don’t spew my dislike for Tommy all over the BT tag or something like that. I just respectfully talk about how he isn’t right for Buck on my own personal blog. This is called ‘Having an opinion and sharing it.’

Tommy is just not my kind of guy at all. I don’t vibe with his demeanour and behaviour. I don’t think he is a good match for Buck. I don’t like the way he treats Buck. And yes! I am a Buddie shipper! So of course a part of why I don’t like him is rooted in the opinion that he is the wrong guy for Buck. But there is so much more to it than only that. Now all of this is not me being homophobic. It is just me being critical and actually using my brain to understand what the show is ultimately really trying to tell me: Tommy is a plot device and we are not supposed to like him!

I’m tired of being accused of something that I am not, over disliking a character that we aren’t even supposed to like in the first place. It’s crazy behaviour. It needs to stop!

Anyway, I’m sorry Nonny. I didn’t mean to end up venting like this on your ask, but it just happened. Now I’m the one being long winded. Sorry.😊 I’m not mad at you or anything like that. Don’t worry.

On the contrary, you helped me get some of these things out in a well written, but still respectful way. You got me writing about all of the fandom things that have been bugging me lately. I was on fire. So, in a weird way: Thank you for your assistance. ❤️

[physalian]

On Grimdark (Or conditioning your audience for cynicism)

Because Game of Thrones is on my mind again for the Hardhome sequence. Everyone has their two cents about the grimdark genre but one thing I don’t see discussed at much length, or widely enough, is how wrapping up a grimdark story has one unique challenge: If you establish a world where everything is miserable and characters are selfish and honorless and there’s no hope for heroism or selflessness, you will not be able to sell your audience on a satisfying ending unless everyone is dead.

What I mean by this is if you have your one little flicker of hope in your protagonist or even a side character, the odds of them having a happy ending in a world that you’ve written to consistently show the worst in people, that ending becomes too unrealistic to feel earned.

In other words, Game of Thrones, but also The Walking Dead and on some level, The Boys. In all three of these (have not caught up to The Boys past Jensen Ackles’ season), the threat of doom is so insurmountable that every victory is consistently one step forward, three steps back.

In GoT it’s corruption and the infallible nefarious ways of the villains and their villainous agenda that keep winning while the good guys keep dying. In The Walking Dead every beacon of hope for a cooperative society for humanity dug out of this zombie hellscape is squandered by organized sadism. In The Boys, the hero propaganda machine and institutionalized living weapons where even the good guys are bad guys, there is no way to win aside from nuking the planet and starting over.

—

I don’t mind grimdark academically. I think it’s interesting to explore as a way to interpret the psychology of the author and what compels someone to both write and enjoy content that’s just misery porn. Grimdark has its place in the cultural zeitgeist as a controlled dose of suffering to help us feel better about the world we live in, like watching horror movies for a controlled dose of terror.

It has its (not as deep as it thinks it is) cultural commentary about the human nature or the political landscape or how we treat our heroes or the tragedy of war, etc and tends to feel more gritty and realistic to what these fantasy worlds could be like without all the hope and optimism. There is a place for it.

However, constantly hammering your audience over and over again with a message of hopelessness and that chivalry is dead and that anyone smiling is naive, dumb, or lying Pavlovs your audience into expecting it all the way to the end.

Meaning: The ending of GoT was a dumpster fire, and it was always going to be. If this is the reason the author hasn’t finished writing it, I wouldn’t be surprised. This is a universe where (spoiler alert):

Sexism, racism, rape, assault, slavery, abuse, torture, child murder, and animal abuse are the law of the land.

Pedophiles walk among us and continue to get away with it (specifically Littlefinger) for far too long.

Even when the good guys take the bad guys down with them, the other bad guys resurrect the corpses of the defeated bad guys to continue carrying out their evil schemes, or Oberyn and The Mountain.

Children are burned at the stake for what amounts to be a pointless ritual, because her mother hangs herself and her father loses catastrophically in battle and then dies, or Shireen.

Sansa’s entire arc. All of it. She gets no reprieve for five whole seasons.

So when you’re staring at the mess you’ve made trying to come up with a satisfying ending for so many arcs, you find yourself with a problem: This world doesn’t run on happy endings. You’ve spent 7 seasons proving happy endings are childish and stupid. You have no way to end this cathartically, because by the rules of your world, all your heroes will end up murdered in gruesome ways. Congrats.

But maybe I’m just bitter.

Like this whole iron throne business. Melting it was the only course of action. Why? No matter who sits on it, the life expectancy of those who do is criminally short. Bran probably died choking on a chicken bone shortly after the end credits.

There is no evidence given in-universe for anyone disappointed that they didn’t end up king or queen to just sit back and take it without continuing to scheme and plot and get a lot of people killed.

There is no evidence to suggest that any of these people would realistically rally together to fight a common enemy without stabbing each other in the back once the threat is handled.

There is no evidence that these people would let bygones be and cheer for the new and just ruler to take the throne indisputably.

While the show does have its bright moments of camaraderie, loyalty, and trust, they are vastly outnumbered by the so-called “realistic” nature of the rest of Westeros. In no reality in the current canon would any leader be able to rule because they’re loved more than they’re feared. That’s not how this show operates, thus there is no way to end the series with your audience confident that Bran or Sansa or Jon or whoever would have actually led the kingdom into brighter futures. They’d just be dead just like their naive, dumb, dad.

—

The Walking Dead is no different. The unofficial motto of the show was that the walkers are bad, but the true enemy of humanity is other humans. Every new group of people either got murdered for being too weak, or did the murdering. In a world where the mortality rate vastly outpaces the birthrate and every group has become jaded and cynical enough to shoot first and ask later, anything less than humanity going out on a bitter and cynical end wouldn’t fit the established tone.

I didn’t watch past the season where Carl was killed off in the conspiracy of the year, but I didn’t think I had to. Killing off Carl was the beginning of the end—they symbolically and literally killed the future of humanity. Judith exists, but Carl is just old enough to remember what the world was like before, to have context for how humanity should be, where Judith doesn’t.

They never made any significant efforts to find a cure or more substantial means of eradicating the walkers. There was no overarching goal of the characters beyond Just Survive Somehow. It just wasn’t sustainable to ever have a satisfying ending, especially when no matter if you get bit or not, you become a walker when you die. So even if they all packed up and sailed to a remote island free from walkers, one unseen death could wipe out their entire camp.

It was always going to be a Sysyphisian task to end that show in a meaningful way, and I don’t think they even tried.

—

The Boys… man, I hate this show. It’s not bad, it’s just not as smart as it thinks it is with all its commentary on the political landscape, as the events they’re criticizing continue to unfold around us. Season two has neo nazis… as real neo nazis are still running amok.

It has the same preaching pitfall that so much liberal content does—if you get too preachy, those who already agree with you will feel talked down to and bludgeoned with your unsubtle message, and those who don’t agree with you won’t feel at all compelled to change sides if you spend every waking second of your show insulting them.

The supers in this show are so omnipresent, so powerful, so staggeringly OP that there is no solution beyond attempting genocide on all of them. There’s no legal avenue to pursue, because you can’t imprison them and they don’t care about petty attempts at enacting justice. You can’t arm the regular humans with basic guns and army gear when the main villain can just laser-eye them all in seconds. You can’t mount a peaceful protest movement or a resistance of any kind when telepaths walk among them and can literally stomp out any signs of nonconformity.

You’ve written yourself an unsolvable problem while trying to write a well-constructed criticism of politics and hero worship. If we can’t solve it in the real world in a single cohesive and satisfying narrative, what makes you think you can?

Anything that tries to kneecap the threat would look weak and cheap, because this show has stuck so close to the ongoing real world narrative. The supers aren’t all robot minions of a hive mind where one bomb that takes out the brain disables the entire hoard. Kill the main bad guy and another will just take his place. There is no winning The Boys, at least the story of it that I’ve seen, and I wasn’t impressed.

—

So no, I don’t like grimdark in application, in settings where you have long-running series with audiences dedicated to following arcs and expecting satisfying endings, because grimdark demands enemies and forces of evil that are just too insurmountable to write a cathartic ending that isn’t cheap or unrealistic.

In both GoT and TWD, since those have finished, they didn’t have to end as disasters. If both had sat down in the writers' room around season 4 of both shows and planned out their five-season step plan to shift the narrative away from grimdark and let their characters actually pursue a viable plan for fixing their miserable worlds, you can still kill off all the characters you want in the name of the end goal of whatever utopia they dream of. But the characters still have to work for it and sacrifice for it and maybe they do lose hope but they keep on keepin’ on despite it.

Grimdark sucks, in my opinion, because as a storytelling convention, it never ends. “Hey what if the world was miserable,” is all well and good, but if your goal is to entertain, how do you tell an entertaining story when the miserable world your characters live in will chew them up and spit out something unrecognizable? I don’t even need a happy ending, but the only convincing ending that grimdark allows is dead heroes and “life sucks get over it”.

—

I don’t know how The Boys is doing or how it will end and I don’t care. I hated it for a lot more reasons than its attempts at sounding smart, like Huey as the most annoying modern Everyman I have seen, and that they didn’t even try to redeem Soldier Boy or stick him in therapy to be an actual better alternative to Homelander, which is what they sought him out for in the first place.

So yeah. Grimdark. Maybe it’s just the late capitalist hellscape we find ourselves in, but why would I read it when I am living it, following characters who don’t have solutions, while watching real leaders who also don’t have solutions?

If you want to write in this genre, more power to you, just think about the long term, overarching goals of your heroes before you get too far in so you can start them on the long road to victory in a believable and satisfying way, otherwise you end up buried in a ditch like the endings of two television juggernauts.

[laineystein]

If I may? You seem to have an incredibly rosy view of Israel and live comfortably there. And I am happy you do! I just also have seen Israelis on tumblr speak of the struggle with the rising cost of living.

This includes having to be self conscious about the price of brands to pick, and the rent of apts. (Which are pretty common things to deal with anywhere lately). I’ve also seen an Israeli blogger say that if you don’t have a background in engineering and tech, there’s not much of a future for you in Israel-or at least not one where you can live well.

On a personal level, I struggle to comprehend the idea of bomb shelters being a conscious part of every day life in so many parts of Israel. I don’t know how you guys do it, I really don’t.

I’ve been passive-aggressively criticized for having what some would deem a rosy view of life in general so I don’t know if I’m the best person to be giving you my feedback. What I can say confidently is that I have lived elsewhere and I will forever choose to live in Israel because it is the place I truly feel is home. Yes, things are expensive but they’re expensive where I lived in the diaspora as well. Homes here are not any more expensive than they were where I lived in the diaspora. Our economy is certainly curtailed to specific professions but so is every economy. Being an engineer and being in tech is also currently the most lucrative profession in the diaspora. I’m not saying that Israel doesn’t have its issues. It does and I reference them often. I’d probably talk about them more if I wasn't so used to a lot of it; I’m used to sirens and bomb shelters and tzahal and I don’t know how to explain that to someone who isn’t. It’s just always been apart of my life and it’s not going to change anytime soon so it is what it is. I also have no problem acknowledging that I grew up very privileged and still live a very privileged life so that may have something to do with my viewpoint. But here’s the thing - I just can’t live in a non-Jewish world. I can’t live my life comfortably in a non-Jewish world. And that’s not solely because of antisemitism. I keep kosher. I keep Shabbos. And nearly everyone I love (in the diaspora) is visibly Jewish. The men wear kippot and tzitzis. The women dress tznius and cover their hair. When you are this religiously observant it’s difficult to exist in a non-Jewish world. Our holidays are different and it’s not a default to have them off and not every company you work for will be fine with you taking them off - even if it’s illegal for them not to. In the US, you can’t make friends with coworkers because you can’t see them on the weekends or eat at their restaurants or in their homes. Sending your children to a Jewish school like the one I attended is like paying college tuition per child, per year; my parents paid over 100K every year sending me and my three brothers to school - the same school would be much more affordable in Israel. We’re nothing but pawns to the political system there - the right and the left both hate us. We are politically homeless and we’re too much of a minority for it to matter. So there’s a million reasons *not* to live in the diaspora as a Jew. For me, there is also a million reasons to live in Israel. The proximity to our holy sites. The weather. The fact that we have beaches and deserts and mountains and forests and rain and snow and sunshine. The diet and the healthier lifestyle. The joy. There’s so much joy here and I feel sorry for anyone that disagrees. I can be openly Jewish here. My Jewishness is not an inconvenience here. I do not have to apologize for it or hide it. And yes, I will forever feel safer here than I ever have in the US. Is Israel also an absolute dumpster fire sometimes? Of course it is. I’m not saying it’s for everyone. Living here will be a huge shock for many Jews. But for some of us, it makes sense and the pros will forever outweigh the cons.

[solarbird]

Trump’s loser stench is getting stronger and stronger, and it’s not just Republicans distancing themselves anymore, like you’ve been seeing in the federal Senate – Harris just picked up a popular Georgia Republican’s endorsement.

Try not to hold it against her.

It’s for the obvious reasons, of course; they’re starting to think he’s going to go down hard, and he’s going to drag a lot of them down with him. If they’re hedging this hard with three months left in the campaign, they either have some incredibly strong sinking feelings in their stomachs, or some really remarkable numbers from polls they trust.

So this isn’t really about the Presidential race, this time. Everything I’ve said before is still critical; get to your Trumpy family and friends. Use Vance as a lever to open their eyes; he’s just as venial and bizarre as Trump is, but with no charisma and more importantly no celebrity, so lacks the shielding it brings. Talk about climate change (real), talk about the threat to the Republic (very fucking real), talk about just how goddamn weird it is that they want to demand genetic tests to make sure women who were assigned female at birth and grew up as girls and then women are actually women by some racist misogynist standard they just made up. Talk about all of it, chip away at them one day after another, tick tick tick tick.

Do all of that, but also, this is about voting downballot, which is to say, all the way down to not just Senate and not just House, but state and local races.

Lower level Republicans are starting to taste their own fear, and that’s good. This can’t be just about the fascist on top, but all the chibi cheeto mussolinis who bought into this nightmare.

The Republican Party has to fucking hurt for putting us all, and this country, and the entire world, through this hell. And it has to hurt for a while.

Tuesday is the last day of voting here in Washington State. It’s a primary election; we’re picking the final two candidates on the November ballot. Because of our history and reasons, we don’t have guaranteed partisan elections in November; some of our ballots then will be between two Democrats, or two Republicans, or one of each, or one of a major party and a minor party or an independent. It’s not the ranked choice voting system I think we need, but it’s better than the usual way.

Have you voted yet? If not, get it done.

Many of you may have primary elections soon as well. Get that done, because this is where you do vote your absolute conscience, should you so choose.

But then in November, remember – the Republican Party must pay for this, and not just Trump. It has to hurt all the way down. So get familiar with your Federal representatives, get familiar with your state and local elections, figure out what popular initiatives you might have on your ballot, because all of it matters, and all of it will keep mattering for years to come.

Not that it didn’t matter before, of course. But local elections are how you get cops browsing for books to ban, how you get libraries declared “18 and over only”, how you get women charged with murder for taking an abortion pill. The Federal is where this evil shit has been unleashed, but it’s at the state and local where it gets enforced.

(E.g., this year, the rightists are trying to undo our efforts to fight climate change in order to boost and gas companies, via Initiative 2117; they’re trying to wipe out the capital gains tax and give the wealthy a huge tax break, via Initiative 2109; they want to throttle long-term health care, via Initiative 2124; a very predictable “parent’s bill of rights” which is substantially about raising the same sorts of racist and anti-LGBT hell they’ve been raising elsewhere, via Initiative 2081. All these will be on our ballot in November.)

So keep your eye on the big prize, of course. The number one job is driving “day one dictator” Trump into the dumpster fire of history. But the number two job, and only slightly less important, is the repudiation all the way down to school board and – if you have such an elected position – dogcatcher.

Every elected Republican has to take the hit. Every single one of them. Even if it’s just by winning by meaningfully less than they’re used to winning. Whatever you can do, this is the year to do it.

92 days remain.

[midnight1nk]

this week's episode...

Mr Puzzles Clubhouse

[Spoilers below cut, modified images to timestamps]

Guys, I'm terrified. I can make as many predictions and theories to my heart's content but even I don't know what's in store for us.

If you guys have or haven't been on Twitter, Shadow made a post saying this:

Shadow: I feel very excited today for whatever reason, #smg4 community. What about all of you? ;)

Shadow, you can't say these things a few hours before the episode is released what am I supposed to THINK

(the following is my live-time reaction:)

it's incredibly funny that the show is poking fun at the people comparing the show and the showgrounds to mickey clubhouse (and of course, twitter being twitter *sigh*)

[00:17] I KNEW HE WAS GONNA THINK BACK TO THAT BATTLE

[00:25] it is kinda strange that he would hold a grudge against Melony, Saiko, and Karen but I guess you can argue that since they are part of the crew, Mr Puzzles would associate them for being part of his downfall. It's kinda how when you know this one bad person and then you see their friends and believe "oh, they must be bad too for them to be around this person". Not to say that is what everyone thinks, but it's what some people do. For Puzzles, it's an "everyone's to blame" kind of deal.

[00:36] :(

LOVE the new expressions OMG (couldn't get all of them, sorry)

also love that the episode included a lot of characters from underrated movies!!!

[01:39] designer clothes, huh? who's your tailor, Puzzles?

[02:28] holy shit, that is seriously a good model of mickey! whoever made it, props to them cuz he is so expressive (it's probably not from the crew but either way still props)

[02:57] you know didney is a complete dumpster fire right now when Mr Puzzles of all people doesn't want to join whatever mickey is up to

[03:51] (*reading this frame*) ...upside-down nose disease...eyebrowitis... pausing to read— OH FOR MEME'S SAKE

also don't think I didn't see bill cipher hidden on that contract

[03:59] Mr Puzzles: Well... A professional, such as myself, has... standards! Y'know? And looking at the state of your precious Didney... It's not worth my time.

DAMNNNNNN

[04:57] "It's a re-remake" ...puzzlevision 2? okay i'll stop

[05:20] wow how in every universe, mickey and minny are a lovey-dovey couple

[05:27] i know this has been a fact for a long time, but with the inside out 2 news coming to light, this really hits

(but also smg4:inside out??? 👀)

[05:50] WALL-E! EVE!! oh, it's one of my all-time favorite movies... wait... did they see us make wall-e AUs of smg34 and marware....

[06:26] i guess every entertainer has a rating label, huh...

[06:43] KINGDOM HEARTS MENTION

[07:02] "engine room" oh, so that's what the other side of that door. We solved that mystery, gang, pack it up!

[07:31] Mr Puzzles: "The most... important?" 👀HMMMMMMMMMM🤔

[08:00] GUY GUYS GUYS THE CARNIVAL OMGGGGG

[08:24] ATTENTION EVERYONE WE HAVE A CONFIRMED PARENT I REPEAT MR PUZZLES HAS A DAD

Okay so, Puzzles did have at least a parent back then. They were strolling by outside the park so it didn't seem Puzzles was taken there at all to have some fun. And his dad doesn't support his dream at all. now we don't know when exactly in Puzzles' past does this takes place, if he's in the early stages of his TV obsession, or if this was the event that pushed Little Puzzles to start his obsession.

Either way, because of this, Little Puzzles turned to the TV for guidance and inspiration. If his dad can't support his dream and without any friends, then all he has is himself... and the screen in front of him. Seeing the creativity shown on TV, the answer must be there somewhere... right?

[09:23] ...I should've seen this coming I SHOULD'VE

and yep, it's all because of his dad [*sad sigh*] damn Puzzles can't catch a break, huh.

also the red face is back!!! [*chanting*] eye of ra! eye of ra!

also also thank you Puzzles for getting rid of that rat

[10:27 - 55] Mr Puzzles: "Let's get to work!" [*theme from the "Friends on the Other Side" plays*]

😨

...how did...I literally said this in my "WOTFI 2024 Predictions Revisited" post:

Will we get goop!4? God, I wish. I was listening to "Friends on the Other Side" and I was just imagining scenarios of Mr Puzzles taking complete control of Four with the goo. If it doesn't happen for whatever reason, I'll write it myself.

...do they know...?

Ink, it's a didney villain song. it's just a coincidence.

Sure, maybe. I'm just gonna hide under my desk, just in case...

:) ← mentally unwell

[11:00] consider my gasted flabbered

I'm just waiting for Marty to come up on screen and be like "I too have a grudge for the SMG4 crew, let's work together"

[11:10 - 12] A crew? 😨 LEGGY?

[12:09 - 13:00] just this conversation between Meggy and Mr Puzzles is just *chef's kiss*

(why could I just imagine Puzzles having a similar conversation with Four?)

[13:33] [*hearing Meggy's screams*] 😨 mom I'm scared...

[13:48] Mr Puzzles: "Those fools won't see it coming..."

Me, a theorist: "Surprise me then. Do it. You won't."

[14:06] lastly, congrats to Fakerbingus for being featured at the credits 🎉

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

That... was an incredible episode! Wig? Snatched. Flabber? Gasted. Mom's? Spaghetti! The voice-acting, the bits of animation, the storytelling! 10/10 for me!

Mr Puzzles being TERRIFYING and UNHINGED, I LOVE IT! I feel horrible for Meggy, oh my god. We need to get the whole crew into therapy, like seriously. TRAUMA after TRAUMA. It's nice to see some more of Puzzles lore but I wish we had a little bit more, y'know? Having his dad being one of the catalysts of his troubles is good, but I think we need that extra push to show that yes, Little Puzzles really lost himself at such a young age. "This is what sent him over the edge of his obsession". I'm sure we're going to get a bit more in upcoming episodes but I suppose this is a start.

No Marty, which is surprising, and again, he might be in the next one. Like I said before in my previous theories, the two are likely to work together. "A businessman and an entertainer." And with Karen being in the picture for this year's WOTFI, there is still a chance!

Well, we might have to change some things, that the WOTFI carnival would take place in what is formerly Didney Worl and not the Showgrounds. With what I said in my last review, the whole "carnival coming to the Showgrounds" thing could literally mean the crew receiving those tickets and not take it in the literal sense. We can't rely on the posts on all social media platforms of the crew holding their ticket were taken at the same time frame as the episodes take place. For all we know, the previous episodes happened in the past, before those pictures were taken. WHICH could explain why Meggy wasn't in the picture. Lots to think about for sure... 🤔

Anyways, my dear fellows, it's time to get scared of what's about to come. New WOTFI rap, someone might get sacrificed. Goop!Four? I don't even know anymore. We're getting closer and closer to my predictions coming true, so let's hide under the blanket and hold on to our plushies i guess.

No website change, that I know of. I'm looking over all the recent posts from the people working on the show and they're just TEASING us at this point, THEY CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS!!!

I don't even know what the next episode is going to be about, we would just have to wait and see.

but like seriously,

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT EPISODE?

/pos

(but also scared?!?!?!)

[ariaste]

Hello hello! If it’s all right with you, I would like to vent for a moment: Back in the day, I used to be really into BBC Sherlock. I know it was bad, but it was “Be Gay (solve) Crimes” and I couldn’t resit. One of my favorite parts of the fandom was reading fan metas. I enjoyed reading your ridiculously long meta! I am not very clever and I enjoy reading people noticing things that I can’t. It’s fun watching people passionately pick up clues and put them together.

I don’t think I’m the only one getting superwholock flashbacks lately. Sherlock also tried an unreliable narrator in S4 and it was an absolute shit show. People thought thought the finale was fake, it was so bad. TBH, the entire show was a dumpster fire that thought it was more clever than it was. Moffat was a good writer for single episodes for DW, but a garbage show runner. And they called us crazy for picking up what they were putting down.

But Good Omens gives me a spark of hope. It is unashamedly queer, fun, drinks its respecting women juice, and, unlike moffatiss, I think Neil and the crew may actually be clever enough to pull something big off. I adore the Discworld series and Sir Terry, and I have faith Neil will to do right by him.

Good Omens is restoring my faith in nerdy queer fiction and reminding me why I love fandom so much. Please keep up the crackhead theories. I love them 💕

Thank you, that's very kind!

(Ended up writing a very long reply about the response to my essay and also about queerness in media. Idk why i am writing such long posts these days SORRY LOL. Anyway I'm putting it all beneath the cut so I can tag it without clogging people's dash or the tag pages)

It does make me sigh a little when I see people scornfully comparing my long essay to The Johnlock Conspiracy or saying that they're having Sherlock flashbacks, because the both the contexts of the shows and the methodology of the theorizing are VERY different. To my mind, a more direct comparison of methodology would be the Gravity Falls fandom's "Stan Has A Secret Twin" theory. Writers and showrunners DO like being sneaky and clever from time to time, and many of them are much better at it than Moffat is.

But whether or not my theory is right or not is... kind of irrelevant to me? I wasn't out to force anyone to agree with me, AND writing it was a really fun way to spend a weekend, AND I'm proud of the work I did and the story I told, AND it felt good to have a satisfying workout at the Brain Gym. So even if I'm proven utterly and completely wrong, I won't feel like I wasted my time. :)

Good Omens is a great show, and I am SO HAPPY to see it (and other shows!) embracing queerness, sharing the fans' enthusiasm for the story, and honoring and respecting the fans' love rather than punishing them for it. As more and more time goes on, I think we're going to see more and more shows like that, because some of the people who grew up reading tumblr discourse are going to be showrunners themselves one day, and they'll have learned serious lessons about what it feels like when the audience is met with love rather than disgust and disdain. In fact, we're ALREADY seeing more shows like that than we had 10 years ago! There is so much canonical queerness on-screen these days that the me of 10-15 years ago is ASTONISHED and feels wealthy beyond counting. Of course, there is so much further to go, but man... when i was a kid, we had to walk uphill in the snow both ways just to see two dudes making sustained emotional eye contact, and we were grateful for it. (Jokes but also.... kind of real tho)

We've seen the exact same thing happen in scifi/fantasy publishing in the last seven or eight years, too! (Went off on a long tangent about Queerness In Media from an insider perspective, continuing below a cut so I don't clutter everyone's dash)

Even as recently as 2013--ten years ago--you might not have even been able to get your book published if it was openly gay. Hell, you might not have been able to get an agent to represent it, even. It would have been labeled "unmarketable" and passed over; if it DID get published, the queerness would have been camouflaged and downplayed and hidden in the marketing as much as possible--you wouldn't have known by looking at the cover that it was queer, you wouldn't have been able to tell by reading the back cover that it was queer. In literally 2016, seven years ago, a few months before I got my first book deal, I remember having a conversation with a friend and being very very worried that if I wrote books as queer as I wanted them to be, I would be "pigeonholed" as "ONLY writing Gay Books", that I would be passed over for any of the publisher's marketing budget and publicity efforts, that I would be sidelined and ignored... In 2016, I thought I was facing a choice of writing stories with more "mainstream appeal" OR writing the books I wanted to write and potentially undermining the rest of my career.

That didn't happen, thankfully, because in the next couple years there was this incredible explosion of queer scifi/fantasy. You see, ten to fifteen years ago, a truly stunning percentage of my colleagues -- writers, editors, publicists -- were writing and reading fanfic, and they carried their tastes and story-hungers with them as they grew up and got Real Adult Jobs at publishing companies. And suddenly, as if out of nowhere, a lot of us came of age all at once and there was this absolutely enormous wave of queer SFF that in my opinion has brought us into a new golden age of the genre: The Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir, The Chorus of Dragons series by Jenn Lyons, She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker Chan, Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie, The Tensorate series by Neon Yang, Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon, Light from Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki, The City in the Middle of the Night by Charlie Jane Anders, the Birdverse books by RB Lemberg, The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickenson, The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri, Reforged by Seth Haddon, The Sorcerer of the Wildeeps by Kai Ashante Wilson, Ocean's Echo by Everina Maxwell, The Fifth Season by NK Jemisin -- and these only the ones I could remember off the top of my head in 30 seconds, and I have a flavor of ADHD that makes my brain go blank when people ask me to think of specific examples of things! It is harder for me to think of a SFF book published in the last 7 years that ISN'T queer.

And then almost exactly a year ago, my book A Taste of Gold and Iron came out with THIS COVER:

Which. Is not so much a step forward in openly queer SFF as it is a fucking gauntlet thrown down in challenge. I cannot impress upon you strongly enough how much I would not have gotten this cover 10 years ago, and that's if the book was even accepted for publication in the first place. This cover SCREAMS gay fantasy romance. There is no attempt to hide it or camouflage it. It is advertising exactly what it is, right up front.

I got the absolute privilege and honor of having this cover--and I do consider it an incredible honor--because of the work that all my colleagues put in with their own work. Each queer book that got published wedged the door a little wider for the next one, and then a little wider still for the next one, until finally someone could get their foot in the door and squeeze across the threshold, which opened it a little wider again. So when I look at this image, I don't just see a beautiful cover that I am delighted to have on my books--I see an entire history of slow, steady progress by so many incredible writers who risked damaging their careers just to drag us to a point where a book as gay as this one could get a cover as gay as that one and STILL get the full and enthusiastic support of both the publisher and the audience. And the most incredible honor and the most humbling privilege out of all of this is the fact that the success of this book meant that the door was wedged open another little bit, that I got to contribute in this small way to the efforts of everyone who came before me, so that ones who come after us will find the door flung wide -- or that there's no door left at all to block the way, because we've collectively torn it down.

So yes, @eyona, I think that having your faith restored little by little is a very good thing, and I am delighted that Good Omens is doing that for all of us. And what's even better is that even if Good Omens doesn't play out exactly how we want it to, that's... kind of okay? Because there is always the next one, and at the very very least, Good Omens is wedging the door open further so that the next one can have an easier time of it. We don't have to walk uphill in the snow both ways just to get a moment of emotionally charged eye contact anymore. We don't have to starve anymore, not like we used to back in the bad old days. And that alone is a wonderful thing. :D

[ansbobcar]

Infodumping/venting about the lack of Mashle fanfics on most fanfic platforms

WARNING: This isn't a vent. This is a mashle fanfic idea dumpster fire with MANGA SPOILERS.

I'm so heartbroken discovering that there is barely any mashle x oc content out there even x readers or character x character. I have so many tiny plot point ideas for a Rayne/Rain x fem oc/reader. Which resulted in me beginning to write my own oc, Darren Randel. Her name's stolen from my random ass mha oc Darren Halston. Darren Randel is lowkey different (she's less edgy/and emotionally unstable) even though they both have brown hair.

PLS TELL ME IF YOU'RE GONNA STEAL OR GET INSPO FROM THIS PLS BECUZ I WOULD LIKE TO HELP.

SO-

What was the original plot idea you may ask?

Infamous girl from rival school transfers to Easton Magic Academy because she fell in love with Rayne Ames lol.

Lowkey unoriginal right?

So then I added an extra spin to it borrowing a key romance drama plot point from See You in My 19th Life: Darren only gets 3 chances to confess and have her feelings be reciprocated by Rayne, and if he rejects her feelings. She'll give up (on that romance).

The ending of the fanfic is bittersweet: She doesn't get Rayne. But they stay close friends.

OH BUT HERE'S WHAT I'M TRYNA FIGURE OUT TO ADD MORE OF THAT BITTERSWEET FEEL TO IT:

1. Darren confused her initial crush on Rayne to be love at first sight/romantic feelings when she actually felt like she had a friend/that sense of trust in him compared to others.

1a. As a result of that she kind of decides to nullify all her chances of getting him.

1b. Regardless of this plot point she still ends up developing actual romantic attraction for Rayne and still doesn't get her feelings reciprocated.

2. It turns out that Rayne ALSO developed feelings for Darren over the course of the fic but he still rejects her advances due to either:

a. Her newfound realisation that she confused her feelings of attraction for something like companionship or trust. (1a)

b. His new position and role as Divine Visionary and the fear that she would be in more danger than she already was. (For context: her former school Walkis has so much beef with her existence for the 4 ish years she was there that they want her erased from existence and the Bureau of Magic is extremely alert about her whereabouts due to that and her skills which will be explained in the OC Profile section below).

c. Typical fears of a dude who for most of his life before Easton was seen as a nuisance alongside his younger brother Finn. (Big headcanon.) Doubt he cares/he probably would shove in the aristocrats face if he was dating her honestly (fake dating plot point???)

_ _ _ _ _ _

OC PROFILE:

Fyi - I haven't completed her complete information so I may have removed some parts.

General Info:

Name: Darren Randel

Other names: “Renren”, “Walkis Traitor”, “Wandless Psycho”

Sex: Female

Age: 18 (from the start of Mashle canon timeline)

Birthday: February 18th

Blood Type: A

Height: 168cm

Occupation: 3rd Year Student at Easton Magic Academy

House: Adler

Affiliation: Easton Magic Academy (current), Walkis Magic Academy (former)

Dominant Hand: Left

Good Subjects: Magic Geography (it better exist), Magic Zoology

Bad Subjects: Magic Mathematics, Magic Biology

Hobbies: Cooking, Running at 4am, Pestering Rayne whenever possible

Favourite Food: Mussel/Seafood Pasta

Favourite Word: “Antidisestablishmentarianism”

Favourite type of the opposite sex: “People think about those?”

Dislikes: Her sense of justice being challenged, Bunbun, People who hate Rayne Ames

Frequently visited school spots: School Garden, Training rooms, Dormitory kitchen 

Appearance: 

Her hair is orange brown with cornflower tips. The way she styles her hair hides one of her lines. The main line that is shown juts out just under her cheek from her forehead while the other one only juts out slightly from the side of her eye. She’s more of a sports person than a bookworm. When she manifests her third line, it appears across and under her eyes. She switches between 3 types of bottoms. Pants, Long skirt, shorter skirt of which she wears jogging leggings underneath but they’re all dark blue you know.

Lines: 2 + 1

Skills/Abilities: 

General Magic: Offensive Magic - Due to the competitive environment of Walkis, she has a general grasp on nearly all learnable offensive magic spells. Being able to cast them with ease compared to more typical and unlethal spells. Her speed at casting these spells were unmatched during her time in middle school.

Personal Magic: Impart - Darren’s magic essentially allows her to balance out either magical power, strength, and weaknesses between her targets (living and non living) or with herself. It’s essentially cheating at life. The magic is highly confusing due to the fact that she doesn’t have to chant the words to the magic and its essentially treated as a debuffing magic (which is wrong because she aims to fight everyone on fair terms).

Impart Zero - It dispels a spell.

Impart Seconth: Impartial Vice - Instead of deducting and balancing their power, like a water dam. Water is added to balance both sides.

Summon: Themis (Goddess of Justice) - When summoned, the user’s wand transforms into a dull sword whilst Themis appears with blindfold with a scale in hand

Themis Inclination - Themis appears and buffs her attacks’ range but she rarely utilises this due to how lackluster it was against Rayne (ineffective) and other people

Impart Thirds: Divine Mercy - It’s essentially renders its' target a painless death. It's an instant kill move.

Impart Thirds: Divine Tears - Unlike Divine Mercy, this one's pure torture. (To be developed later) (Tears of Themis reference?)

Wandless Casting: Her aptitude to cast magic without a wand has earned her infamy and wanted death since she enrolled into Walkis in middle school. It has also made her wanted by a few subdivisions of the Bureau of Magic, namely Magic Talent and Magic Research Administration.

Immense Speed: Exactly what running at 4am, and doing marathons before starting class does.

Immense Endurance: Due to the fact she does running as a hobby, her stamina/endurance in terms of speed/running is more than decent. She can withstand advanced offensive spells typically used by the police.

Equipment:

Basic Wand - She prefers to not wield a wand though finding it too rudimentary for her purposes, hence many assume she cannot unleash her secondth and thirds magic (to which she has). It stays in her cloak mostly.

Infinite Storage Fabric - Lining her uniform’s robe it has the ability to store anything it can consume within its’ own subspace. She stores majority of her items in it. Even though it’s mass doesn’t change due to how many things there are, it still is a heavy fabric. It will help fish out whatever the user who is currently wearing the cloak wants to have.

Resistance bands - She carries it around to do some exercise. Especially when she’s in the kitchen

Thick Rope - She carries this around as well but its to apprehend anyone she sees.

Photo album of Rayne Ames - She carries this with her at all times alongside a self printing camera. Don't worry, she gets permission to take the pictures.

Family/History:

The Randel Family while not aristocrats or anything, take pride in their magic aptitude which is a recent cut above the rest. Born as a two-liner magic user, she was put on a pedestal with unwanted attention, which is why she has a hime cut to hide her other mark. Her parents treat her like a trophy child and place their expectations on her.

She’s an only child but has an extensive selection of uncles and aunts 5 each. But she prefers her grandma over everyone else.

She had a tendency to break her wands while practising magic as a kid. Due to this her family/parents decided to just stop supplying wands (cuz it was costly) which resulted in her adapting the way she casted magic spells without the use of a wand. During her entrance exam into Walkis, she was ridiculed for not having a wand and got into trouble while getting the highest score of her batch in terms of magic.

_ _ _ _ _ _

I was tempted to add a Modern Magic/unmagic AU of this as well based on the anime endings which I find to be completely confusing even though they're fun. (SERIOUSLY, HOW IN THE WORLD DO RAYNE AND FINN HAVE FANCY OLD CARS THOSE ARE EXPENSIVE TO MAINTAIN WHEN THEY'RE CANONICALLY ORPHANS UNLESS DIVINE VISIONARY IN MODERN AU IS A SUPER RICH POSITION-)

[olderthannetfic]

Oh man, magical girl fandoms are a dumpster fire for antis. I was shocked at how many are in Sailor Moon. You know, the anime where a 14 year old's true love is a dude in college. Yes they are closer in age in the manga but many of these are anime fans. A lot of UsaMamo fans will go after anyone who ships Seiya X Usagi because he's supposedly a stalker who doesn't respect her boundaries, a fact that is WAY over blown and exaggerated in the fandom. Keep in mind these same people stan a ship between a 14 year old girl and a dude in college. Now I don't care if they ship it just let me ship my non canon ship in peace and don't write an essay on how my ship is problematic. (Yes even the Diamond/Usagi ship, I am fully aware that the stalkery rapey prince is in fact a bad dude, that's not stopping me from writing my kink fic).

And there is so much wank in the fandom. It feels like you can't do a damn thing without upsetting someone. You like one thing about the DiC American dub? You just have nostalgia goggles on and think it was way better than it was. Uh no I just like it in a so bad its good sort of way and for all the 90s cheese. That and what's wrong with nostalgia goggles for a cartoon? Some fans go as far as calling anyone who uses any of the Americans disrespectful to the creator. Even for like a very minor character.

There are also manga purists who will come at you for preferring anything in the anime.

The other annoying thing. In the manga, Naoko drew a picture of the four Sailor Soldiers paired up romantically with each of the four main bad guy minions. In their past lives they were good guys that were brainwashed to work for evil or something like that. In the Crystal anime (that follows the manga more closely than the 90s anime) they even confirm the romantic relationships between them. (It lasts for like five seconds because the guys are quickly killed off because they all do die in the anime and manga). So people want to ship the Sailor Soldiers with their respective Dark Kingdom general.

So why does the fandom have an issue with this? Well in the 90s anime, there were no such relationships hinted. Instead two of the Dark Kingdom generals were in a gay relationship. (The 90s anime turned one into a woman to censor it.) Instead of just seeing the manga and anime taking place in separate universes, people will call you homophobic for shipping Sailors/Generals. They will say that you are erasing two gay characters even though the creator of the original manga never intended for them to be in a relationship with each other. Of course, the word heteronormative gets thrown around to try to discourage people from shipping them.

I guess at the very least, Haruka/Michiru is still a very beloved ship and my experience with them in the fandom has been very pleasant. But since Sailor Moon is an older fandom I was hoping it would be very ship and let ship. This unfortunately does seem to be common in magical girl anime fandoms. So much purity culture!

--

[thepurplewombat]

For the violence ask game, can I request your answers to numbers 3, 10, 14, 21 and 22?

ooooh lovely choices here!

3: screenshot or description of the worst take you’ve seen on tumblr

Oh, god, there are so many. But I think the worst and most frustrating ones are related to Jin Guangyao and Mo Xuanyu. I've seen a number of people say things about the whole thing being a lie from JGY's end to discredit MXY, and I've even seen some that called JGY a groomer, and tbh, it makes me sick on multiple levels. Allow me to explain:

So first of all, denying that MXY really did what he was kicked out of JLT for completely ignores some of the only things that we know about him from his own words (filtered through WWX of course, but isn't everything?). On Page 19 of Volume 1, WWX is reading MXY's demented scribblings and comes across the part where he is talking about having been kicked out of JLT. It is never mentioned that he feels resentment for this, or that it was all a lie - and if there is anywhere that it would say outright that MXY was angry because he was falsely accused, wouldn't it be in the private ramblings hidden in his own room?

Second of all, if JGY had really fabricated rumors that MXY had harassed him in order to get him kicked out, he would have had his own wound on WWX's arm. Which, let me be clear, he does not. We're talking novel canon here, and in the novel, all the wounds close once the Mo family are dead.

Third of all, I find it sickening because it is part of a pattern of placing JGY at fault for sexual and other violence committed against him. He was harassed by his own brother to the point of forcing him to expel him from the clan, he ended up married to his own sister - neither of those were his fault, but people tend to look at these situations and have just the most absolutely dumpster-fire rancid takes, like JGY committing sexual assault against Qin Su (he didn't - once he knew about their relationship he never slept with her again, and while yes, he should have told her the truth about why, his reasoning is completely understandable), or being into incest etc.

Actually also a lot of takes wrt JGY and sex are pretty rancid, but I think the MXY thing is the worst, and it keeps coming up and make me want to set the whole tag on fucking fire.

10 - worst part of fanon

There are a lot of fanon takes that annoy me - WWX is good at diplomacy, NMJ is a fluffy cuddlebear, LXC is a himbo, but none of them quite make me want to Hulk Out as bad as fanon JGY, who is essentially just JGS in a funny hat.

You want an uncomplicatedly and unrepentantly evil villain to pin your hate on? JGS is right there.

You want a rapist who never shows an ounce of regret? JGS is right there.

You want a monster who ordered human experimentation with resentful energy to be done? JGS is right there.

You want the author of all of WWX's post-Sunshot misery? Jin Guangshan is RIGHT FUCKING THERE!

But no, we're gonna go ahead and pin all of JGY's father's crimes on him.

ugh.

14 -that one thing you see in fics all the time

oh god, if I could have a penny for every time I have seen surprise villainYao in a fic tagged with xiyao I would be so rich. It's especially frustrating when it's in a modern AU, when a lot of the pressures that caused JGY to do the shit he did just didn't exist. With a lot of modern AUs you can't even say 'cool motive, still murder' (a valid take on JGY tbh) because 90% of the time he doesn't even have a motive? He's just out there killing people for shits and giggles and I'm like, 'You're thinking of Xue Yang. This isn't JGY, this is Xue Yang in a funny goddamn hat.'

21 - part of canon you think is overhyped

I've been sitting here for ten minutes trying to think of a specific part of canon that's overhyped and not just annoying to me personally, and I can't really think of anything? Like, there's this perception in fandom that LWJ is a loving and caring brother who did a lot for LXC, and that pisses me off because he is the worst didi in a work full of bad didis - JGY killed his elder brother, and still managed to not be as terrible a little brother as Lan 'abandon my brother who's just killed his best friend of twenty years with his own two hands to go fuck Wei Wuxian under a bush' Wangji. But that's annoying because it's wrong, not because it's overhyped, so I'm just gonna go with a big old 🤷‍♀️here.

22 - your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

I mean, I don't think it's ignored necessarily, but I would love for more people to pay attention to the fact that WWX literally made Wen Chao eat his own flesh, and that was really gross and horrible but also very sexy of him.

Because like, a part of the appeal of WWX is that he is legitimately monstrous. He does absolutely monstrous things during the Sunshot campaign, and people are right to be afraid of this extremely powerful and unpredictable person who commands the goddamn dead. But WWX is like an example of how you can be a monster but also try to be a good person, and a lot of people strip a lot of the complexity out of him by making him a Manic Pixie Dream Necromancer who's like, a little quirky but ultimately cool, and no, fuck that noise.

Wei Wuxian was a monster. He became a monster in response to the pressures of the war and his massive pile of untreated PTSD, but he was so terrifying that for a moment while I was reading the rescue of the Wen, I wasn't sure that they were going to go with him. And I wouldn't have blamed them for a second because this is the man who nearly single-handedly destroyed their clan, slaughtered their friends and families, and then commanded their corpses to slaughter even more. That's fucked up and villain behaviour, and nobody would have blamed the Wen for preferring the ordinary human torture and death and murder over whatever Wei Wuxian might choose to do to them. At least once the guards killed you the torment was over.

But a monster isn't all he is. He tries to do the right thing, he tries to be good, and while it doesn't solve the situation, it does mean something. Wei Wuxian's story is the story of a man who covered himself in blood to save his own life and the lives of others, and then found out that sometimes you don't get to go home. Sometimes the blood doesn't wash off and you spend the rest of your days with the shadows of your past hanging over you.

But he still tried! He still tried, and in the very end of the story, he is free, and happy, and loved.

But removing his darkest moments takes so much away from the light at the end, renders it so much less meaningful without the contrast of his darkest times.

Thank you for playing, sorry that my answers are so damn long, but apparently I get wordy sometimes!

[ladyofthelake]

Not talking about anyone here on tumblr with regards to this incoming rant just to make that clear you guys are awesome <3

Okay but on x some Jared fans really are getting on my nerves saying shit like how they miss him and using words like devastated because they aren't hugging him 24/7 and they've literally just been to a con

and Im here grieving my soul cat I FUCKING MISS HIM everyday is Hell without him I wish I could hug him like these Jared fans are gonna keep getting hugs from him because they go to every con

and I dunno but crying over inconsequential shit like oh I didn't hug my fave actor today I only hugged him last week sadface

the privilege is gross and it just really makes me feel shit barely anyone cared on X about when I posted about my cat dying all they care about is bragging about their cons and saying shit like this

and I'm not even jealous I don't care about hugging Jared if someone said I could right now that he's here I wouldn't care, even if it was Colin I wouldn't care right now, I just want my cat back the one who loved me unconditionally and so many people irl don't understand how much pets mean to someone

and like the girl at work who said nothing when I said my cat had died and tried to shove her puppy pic in my face and I told her as politely as possible (because all I want to do is cry) that I wasn't in the mood to look at the pic and I also said to her my life is shit right now and she said nothing to comfort then went on about how she's going on holiday to France next week. Cool. I don't fucking care. I've lost my soulmate and am shattered.

I think people need to relaise sometimes someone needs space and as long as they're not being an asshole about it its okay to not wanna talk or socialise. People go on about mental health but rarely actually help someone who is going through a rough time.

ugh this is why grief is the worst my mood is bad I miss my cat so much he always made my day and I'm lost and just so tired of seeing privileged people moaning about nothing when I've lost a piece of my heart

Just wanna say everyone on tumblr has been super lovely to me about my cat Sam and ily guys <3 and this is my home and seeing merlin gifs made me happy today even if Im still kinda taking a break

but x truly is a dumpster fire

Tumblr is my home always

also this is me venting and being in a heartbroken state at 3am

people are allowed to feel things and stuff of course, it just hurts me more right now because of everything so yeah ignore and hope you guys are doing good xx sorry if I have missed any notifs

[thru-the-looking-glass-caroline]

You don't believe it can happen to you - I didn't either...

...Health problems I have to live with caused by the 8 years I struggled with anorexia and orthorexia[and never believed I was "sick enough" for it to happen to me].

I want to preface this post by saying 2 things; First, this post will talk some about eating disorders, although nothing detailed and I will not ever post numbers or anything more obviously upsetting, I do still want to give that warning so if this topic might upset or cause problems for you, do what is good for you and don't continue reading this. Second, I am not a medical or mental health professional. I have no degrees of any kind so this post, like all my others, is purely my experiences, opinions and what I have learned from my doctors over the years. You've been warned now on to the real content/topic...

The past few weeks there has been these nagging thoughts and feelings of some regrets and anger and sadness about how much of my physical health alone eating disorders took from me. I can't go back to change anything but it is something that makes me angry how deceived and distorted someone who is in the depths of an eating disorder can be. For a little back story I struggled with Orthorexia and anorexia for 8 years. The behaviors & obsessions began when I was only 7 years old and I was diagnosed with Orthorexia at age 8 and given a second diagnosis of anorexia at age 10. I stayed in these disorders until I was 15 & only then did I actively pursue and work for recovery. I'm happy to say I have maintained that recovery and a healthy weight since, however, a lot of damage was already done to my body by the time I was 15 and unfortunately much of it was not reversed so I live with many physical health problems caused by anorexia and Orthorexia.

Like many who struggle with eating disorders I was, at different points, told about and warned of the damage it could do to my body, the possible long term consequences of continuing in my disorders. Also like many who struggle with eating disorders I shrugged off these warnings and facts. In my mind none of it would happen to me because I never saw myself as a "sick enough " orthorexic and anorexic to warrant such complications. Now, were there and are there people struggling with eating disorders whose cases would be called more severe and critical than me - yes of course and that is kind of the point- this idea people who struggle with eating disorders have that they have to be the sickest, skinniest, closest to death's door anorexic or orthorexic or whatever to have long term health problems from it or to deserve help or die from their disease is a complete garbage dumpster fire of lies and bullshit! It's not a competition and comparison will destroy! With an eating disorder it will never be enough until it kills you...you will not win anything ‐ or be smiled on, applauded, or envied for dying so thin. No one who knew you will remember you after your death and speak fondly, joyfully or boast about how sick and thin you were. It will not be a positive, admirable, inspiring, happy legacy you will leave if you die sick because of an eating disorder. Your loved ones will suffer, they will be angry about your sickness, angry that you couldn't believe you were sick enough/warranted help. They will be sad and grief stricken and wonder what they could have done differently. They will blame themselves. It's harsh, morbid and very depressing but it is the truth of the legacy you will leave if your eating disorder kills you because you weren't thin enough, sick enough, and you didn't believe any of it could happen to you. You won't die happy and fulfilled because you are thin and sick, you will die depressed, scared, anxious, tortured, and weak just as you were in the eating disorder that deceived you pushing you to hold on to and continue your behaviors, always promising you will be happy when but continually moving that goal- keeping it out of reach because it's never enough with an eating disorder. It's a lie!

Talking to my doctors, I have learned that a good portion of my heart problems were caused by/at least partially caused by years of starvation, malnutrition and stress from my eating disorders. These heart issues include: my heart murmur, mitral valve prolapse and mitral valve regurgitation(which I had to have heart surgery for last year), bradycardia, and thin heart walls! This accounts for every heart health problem I have besides one...it makes me cringe with regret, anger and sadness just to know that.

Anorexia and Orthorexia also caused the irreversible damage and basically shut down of my reproductive system meaning I am sterile/infertile...can not have children. Because I began struggling with eating disorders so young, becoming sick and emaciated/malnourished so quickly and basically remaining in that state or in a declining state for 8 years I have not ever had a period or menstrual cycle and I will not ever due to the damage to my reproductive system. This also caused problems with my bone density and I have osteopenia (basically the beginning stage of osteoporosis) and eventually that will progress into full osteoporosis. I also have permanent damage to my liver caused by my eating disorders.

I hate that I caused so much of my own health struggles and problems and as a result cause my family worry for my health, my well being, and my future. Not to mention the experiences, relationships, strength, health, life, personality, adventure, discovery, zeal, joy, love, rest, dreams the eating disorders took from me and I can't go back and have them.

I am a dancer. Dance is my biggest passion in life and some day I won't be able to dance anymore because the permanent damage and health problems from my eating disorders will end it. My bones will be too brittle and weak to leap and turn and hold a pose, have correct technique. My heart could get weaker- more stressed in time and I will have dance taken from me. I won't be able to follow that dream, to perform. The consequences of eating disorders reach my entire life and that is and/or can be the reality for anyone with an eating disorder who doesn't believe it will happen to them - who doesn't see themselves as sick enough. I did not see it or believe it either and yet this is my reality.

[anghraine]

A few bad but fairly typical P&P takes got me thinking about ... Mako from Legend of Korra, actually, and also, just fandom dynamics.

Many of you weren't in that fandom (or perhaps any fandom) back when LOK aired, but I was very active in it. I actually liked—and still like—some aspects of LOK better than ATLA, and I certainly liked the fandom better than ATLA's.

That said, LOK fandom was still less a dumpster fire than a landfill explosion. To this day, I couldn't even identify the single character who got hit the hardest by LOK fandom's approach to discourse, which like most fandoms today, painted a thin veneer of social justice over good old-fashioned stanning/ship wars, but did it much more transparently.

In any case, if I were going to try and pick the character who got hit hardest by the LOK discourse truck, Mako would at least be in the running. The later days of LOK fandom can give the sense that the basic ship war from Day 1 was Korra/Mako (Makorra) vs Korra/Asami (Korrasami). But my strong impression back when the first book aired was that the ship war dynamic was much more Korra/Mako vs Korra/anyone-but-Mako.

There were plenty of not-Mako options. Korra/Bolin was pretty big for awhile. Korra/Tahno had a substantial following during/after Book 1—Tahno was the waterbender from the rival pro-bending team who got curb-stomped by Amon. There was, of course, Korra/Asami (seemed like no chance in hell at the time, but sweet). It was even a good fandom for hero/villain shippers like me.

I think a lot of this activity ultimately coalesced around Korrasami. But at the time, it hadn't quite happened yet. The fandom was wanky (sorry, discourse-y) about virtually every character, but a lot of people really, really, really hated Mako in particular—Mako haters could encompass people who liked or hated the first season, people who loved or hated Korra, people still mad about Zutara, whatever. I didn't like him at the end of Book 1, myself, though I couldn't buy into the screeds about how abusive and exploitative and otherwise problematic he supposedly was.

Since I didn't actually have much of a stake in the main ship wars, I've always found this dynamic more interesting than anything else in terms of fandom behavior, because I've seen it happen many times, but I hadn't often seen it at the level that Mako hatedom took it to back then. So I was thinking about how this happens, and the particular way it happened with Mako back in the aftermath of Book 1.

Early in Book 1, Mako is revealed to be a tragic, brooding orphan with a slight edge trying to support his sweet-natured younger brother and himself through a mixture of industrial work and magic sports. He gets swept off his feet (literally and metaphorically) by a beautiful, very cool, very rich girl (Asami) and enters a romantic relationship with her, only to feel increasingly drawn to his beautiful, very cool, very powerful friend Korra, our heroine.

Some people pointed out that "which awesome and hot girl do I choose :( it's really hard :( :(" is not the most sympathetic quandary for a character to be in, and for the target audience, particularly unsympathetic coming from a young man. And the choice to repeatedly cut from shippy Mako/Korra moments to Asami looking upset didn't help (especially since Asami lost almost everything when she chose to stick with them and turn on her father). And Mako's eventual apology to Asami was genuinely a bit underwhelming—it's basically "mistakes were made."

And, yeah, those things are true. But fandom is not always so OTT hostile about the man in that kind of love triangle taking awhile to get his shit figured out, even when the man is much older than Mako, a literal teenager. Like, I never thought I'd compare Avatar to Bridgerton, but the Edwina-Anthony-Kate dynamic seems roughly similar and most of the fandom came away from it really invested in Anthony/Kate and sympathetic to them. It depends on the fandom and on the depiction.

It's not that Mako didn't screw up in Book 1. It's that the reaction—he's an awful person for pretty ordinary missteps and some poor relationship choices, he's an abuser, he's the worst character in the show, whatever—just seemed wildly disproportionate.

And also, yeah, overreacting to minor misdeeds and reducing a character to ultra-exaggerated versions of their worst selves out of sheer annoyance is a fandom staple (especially when the misdeeds take up as much air as the early LOK love triangle seemed to for many people, with other aspects of the story crammed into limited space). But the extent of the hatred still struck me as rather extraordinary, especially since he seemed to go from reasonably well-liked to feverishly hated in a short period of time.

My theory after B1 aired was that this really came from the intersection of a fandom that was very prone to this kind of exaggeration and poor faith readings with the actual structure of his characterization in B1. We quickly discover his tragic past with his parents being murdered, and that he's been struggling on the streets, and has to look after a cuddly but clueless brother who doesn't seem to get the urgency of their problems. He uses his prodigious lightningbending abilities to make just enough money in a sort of magic power plant to get by in combination with pro-bending successes. Essentially, we're given far more than the minimum required to sympathize with him and tolerate the occasional asshole moment.

But later on in B1, a lot of his characterization and scenes are directly tied up in the love triangle, and many of his original, somewhat more ... pressing concerns, end up getting pretty much resolved in one way or another. So a lot of those original sources of sympathy that were so concentrated in his early scenes are no longer a concern, while others are no longer being emphasized by the narrative.

And it's certainly the case that Mako was much less widely and disproportionately hated later on, at least in my fandom experience. Some people still hated Makorra with a passionate fire, but Mako himself seemed much more endearing to many people once the narrative dialed down the love triangle, explicitly paid attention to his loyalty as a friend, his basic heroism, his close yet sometimes difficult relationship with his brother, and a certain adorkableness that was not absent in B1, but which wasn't as heavily emphasized.

I don't mean to argue that this later narrative treatment was necessarily better, but I do think the more even distribution of sympathetic qualities or revelations about him alongside his flaws made him much more palatable to a lot of the fandom. It's like people ... just kind of forgot why many of them originally liked him unless the narrative went out of its way to remind them.

This is really long, but I did feel that B1 kind of overplayed its hand with Mako early in the season, and then underplayed it in the later parts of the season, and fandom being fandom, people enormously overreacted to their sense of what was going on in that phase of the story (for many: ARGH!!) and not all the information they actually had.

This isn't a hill to die on for me, exactly. It was just how I saw what was going on—this kind of toxic mix of fandom bullshit with some peculiar choices in the structure of his characterization and what got emphasized (or even mentioned) where. That is still my general impression, though—that the fandom's response wasn't coming from nowhere, but that we were getting this kind of intersection of a fandom even more prone than most to over-reaction and poor faith assumptions + some genuine oddities in structure and emphases in his characterization during that first season.

What does this have to do with P&P? Well, I'll get to that. But this post is honestly long enough already, so I'll do the follow-up tomorrow, probably.

[fairydustedtheory]

I guess it's time for a new life update and pinned post on my blog. If you've been following me for a while, you know that this year has been a bit of a struggle, to put it lightly. I'll put everything under a read more because I know most people don't want to read that.

tldr: I'm f***ing poor. Here is my Kofi account and my kid's christmas amazon wishlist

Long story short, I've had to go to court twice to see the judge to protect my kid from her father and his new girlfriend who are pretty toxic to her. (I can share more in private but basically we've been and are still going through it). My kid has had a hell of year. Both of our mental healths have greatly suffered and are still suffering but we're trying to heal and hopefully will end the year in better shape than what we've got to experience thus far.

At the end of last year, I finished my paid course which I hoped would mean I'd get a nice job but sadly it hasn't been the case because there aren't many jobs available where I live and the ones I got interviewed for were simply given to people who knew people. And nobody hides that fact. So yeah that sucks and i feel guilty about not being able to earn more money and i feel guilty that i am exhausted. but I don't feel guilty that I put my kid's mental health needs first and that I try to protect her from the bad things that happened to her. But now with all the added expenses for my kid's therapy and some health and lawyer bills that weren't part of the financial aid I got, a tight budget can only get tighter. On top of that, my kid's father decided to stop paying all child support for over a year now, because he's a neat guy like that so that's about €4000 that he owes and I don't know when that will be sorted out. It's not money issues on his part because he comes from a wealthy family and owns several restaurants. Everything's been adding up and making it pretty difficult for me. I'm fairly good at budgetting on small finances as this is how life has always been for me but all the unexpected drama has been a lot.

Like for anyone who says don't have kids if you can't afford them... well, without publicly diagnosing my ex on the internet, let's just say he was very shitty but also very convincing and I was in no way prepared to get dumped basically after giving birth. I don't regret having my daughter, she's the love of my life and even though the world keeps putting obstacles on my way, I keep the hope that we'll get to a good life for the two of us sometime.

Soooo yeah, I know the overall state of the world is bad for everyone and my problems are definitely not the worst problems that exist. I'm grateful for what I do have and I'm not expecting miracles or anything but I keep trying to convince myself that there's no shame in struggling.

I'll share my Kofi account again if anyone feels like donating a couple bucks to my dumpster fire of a life. Anything helps and will go towards paying the rent (which was raised over €50 without the landlord informing me, just to make it more fun) and groceries.

Also, in case anyone feels like being a Secret Santa for my kid, here is an amazon wishlist. We didn't celebrate her birthday the way we usually do because money and mental health weren't with us at the time but it would mean the world to me if she could still feel some Christmas magic somehow. Her first choice is a telescope because she's been fascinated by space and stars lately, so I'm going to do my hardest to save up enough to have it under the tree at Christmas.

I know I'm barely on here anymore, I don't host any events anymore and I barely talk to anyone so I don't even know who is still around but at least I got some of that off my chest and trying to manifest a good end of the year, if only in good vibes ha

[dotthings]

While I really, no really, do not care about the CW Network's goings on any further, the misguided takes still going on at the most popular CW Network stan account on twitter are just too much. I can't.

I find it so hard to relate to stanning a corporation and a platform this hard. I'm with the fans who are fans of the shows, and hurt because of losing the shows, that part I relate to, but I don't relate to this stanning of CW as an entity. I'm a fandom old and have been through 3 CEO's at the CW. I watched shows on UPN and The WB. I remember when The CW was formed. There is no era of The CW that hasn't made me feel like this was a dumpster fire of a platform, to greater or lesser degrees. When The CW was formed it wiped out a bunch of Black-led series on UPN. The CW was the evil network that people now think CW Nexstar is.

There was a brief period where I rethought my perceptions of it--at the height of the Arrowverse, back when Arrow was on the rise and spun off into The Flash and it was a very exciting time to me as a DC fan to have that. But it was short-lived and I quit the Arrowverse only a few seasons later.

There are good creatives who have done good work at The CW and I appreciate them, I also appreciate the more recent gen of shows that did seem to be course correcting on some systemic things that drove me nuts about many of the shows on The CW previously.

The evangelizing of Mark Pedowitz. Let's start there.

Mark Pedowitz, who showed he had no interest in SPN whatsoever beyond "maybe the franchise is only J2" and "we'll keep making more so long as the boys want to keep going" and that's all he ever had to say about it. He cared only for the draw of #1 and #2 on the call sheet, he never showed any sign he actually cared about the story, and he was immensely disrespectful about the show.

Pedowitz who said maybe SPN doesn't have any characters worthy of a spinoff.

Pedowitz playing to the very J2-only stanning toxics who are currently attacking Jensen Ackles and The Winchesters.

Pedowitz, who dissed Wayward Sisters. And no matter if that decision was actually over his head and out of his hands (it actually had to do with the CBS half of CW), there's no reason for that kind of tactless PR statement. "Not where we want it be creatively."

I find it hard to forgive all that, to this day. So excuse me if I'm not on board the Saint Pedowitz train.

Now, let's talk about this idealization that says that "they destroyed the network," they being Nexstar.

Oh I'm sorry. Excuse me, come again, WHO destroyed the network?

Who was it that operated it in the red?

Who was it that left such a mess where it was bleeding money and got to the point where The CW's owners, WB and CBS, realized that their loss leading, practically a tax shelter, actually never profitable, and making its money from streaming not linear, pseudo network, was no longer worth it and DECIDED TO SELL IT OFF.

To Nexstar. Who clearly love a challenge. Because they bought that mess and are trying to make it profitable, for reals, as a linear broadcast tv network that doesn't need to rely on a massive Netflix streaming deal just to pay the electricity bills. While overspending, over-renewing everything, and not giving a darn how deep in the hole it was making the platform.

And all of that. That era. Has fallen on the creatives and the shows and harmed the shows.

This is the consequences of that era.

This is The CW paying the piper. Oh, Nexstar ruined it? Are you SERIOUS RIGHT NOW??

And try for once, sorting ratings BY DEMO WHICH MATTERS MORE THAN TOTAL VIEWERS. Yeesh.

Paying attention to readily available, public articles of industry commentary is a good idea.

Less time uwu-ing over a corporation that screwed its own shows over for years and left an inherited mess behind for the new owners who then, from a business perspective, had no choice but to burn it all down and basically remake it from scratch. Causing a lot of hurt in the process.

CW Nexstar does not care about The CW's legacy or the shows people loved there from the past. They Need To Make a Profit.

The shows wouldn't have had to be treated like this if The CW, originally, had been managed in a way to make it sustainable.

And that is on everyone not just the previous CEO. That's on WB/CBS who really didn't care so long as they got their streaming revenue. The CW was their neglected child. Something they threw together to make a profit off streaming, and off exploiting the viral fanbases that platform generated.

THE CW WAS NEVER PROFITABLE AS A LINEAR BROADCAST TV NETWORK

THE ONLY REASON IT SUSTAINED AS LONG AS IT DID WAS THE NETFLIX DEAL

WHEN THE NETFLIX DEAL COLLAPSED IT WAS OVER.

The corporation does not love you. The corporation never loved you. The CW was not destroyed by Nexstar. I'm not interested in uwu CW Nexstar, either. CW Nexstar has made it clear that they are ditching genre entirely. Oh, they might keep ONE dc series, as a treat. They don't care about that legacied genre audience from old CW.

CW Nexstar is not evil for having sports. Read the industry news for once I beg of you instead of just spouting off about how evil it is for a platform to have sports. Max is getting into sports. Amazon Prime does sports. Apple TV+ experimented with live coverage of baseball games. Get this through your skulls please.

It pains my brain to see twitter accounts perpetuating the misinformation and stans lining up to unquestioningly absorb it. I don't care about CW, I do follow media news closely, I do know some things about media myself, and what I care about is misconceptions and misperceptions.

I really think it matters, especially now, for fans to use critical thinking and read more media commentary and learn about what's going on in the industry. It's going to be hard on the stories we love for a while. I support the creatives. I don't care about your uwu big corporation that you stuck on a pedestal and insist on repeating misinformation about.

[thejadecount]

So like Cup’s Sep! Leo would totally be jealous of the other Leos right?

TMNT AU Competition Masterpost

Because don’t get me wrong a lot (if not all) of the other Rise Leos in the comp had it rough but DAMN many of them still joke around (even though a lot could be acting to cover trauma and shit) and smile a lot while he’s always being serious.

Now Cup recently just said her Sep Leo acted serious for a long time and didn’t start joking and being witty until he got super comfortable so he’s almost like the opposite, the antithesis (am I using that correctly?) of the Leos (at least the Rise ones). Instead of joking less as he gets more comfortable opening up to his brothers it’s the exact opposite.

Anyways, I feel like before understanding that a lot of the other Leos went through a lot of stuff, he’d be at least somewhat pissed off. Here he’s been Two, working for the Foot Clan under the influence of a memory-distorting drug and magic his entire life while some only recently got traumatized (B.E.A.S.T., DFTM, etc).

Of course I have no say on how he ACTUALLY would feel (bc I don’t control the AU duh) but least to say he’d be somewhat irritated by them, kinda a lot like the Future Leos.

I can almost imagine a scene where his older brother Raph or even heck a Future Leo like OMO talks to him about it. The large complex all the AUs are housing at are big. There’s a rooftop. Sep! Leo is sitting on the edge and looking out to the night sky like the main character Edgelord™️ he thinks he is. Earlier he had gotten an earful of the other Leos and snapped, maybe insulting one or heck even punching them. He ran away up to rooftop in defense before he could hear it from Raph. However said Raph (or maybe a Future Leo or screw it they both run into each other going up to talk to him and decide to talk to him together) comes up anyway. Eventually after some back-and-forth and arguing Sep! Leo snaps, saying that it isn’t fair. They get to be all carefree and joking and blah blah blah and he’s stuck here all fucked up by the Shredder and Kitsune.

More talking. Soon enough Sep! Leo gets it that the other versions of him didn’t have a such a great rock-and-roll life either. A lot of them are actually using said jokes to hide the self-esteem issues and the trauma. Of course it isn’t his fault that he didn’t know that, but he also shouldn’t have been so brash to assume that he was the only one who had a lot of trashy, dumpster-fire stuff happen to him. He couldn’t try to compare their trauma and say he had it better or worse. But they all definitely had it at some point.

And through that it’s what makes him realize that’s what makes them all Leos, whether they like it or not: they get shit thrown at them, and they take it. They take it, and that’s it.

In that way, the other Leos are actually the most likely to understand him, huh?

[sibyl-of-space]

This Tuesday I went back up to SF to attend a game dev networking Thing, and I also used the chance to visit some friends in the area and had some nice conversations with people. It's a pain in the ass to get there on public transit from where I am now but it was definitely a really fun trip and I'm really glad I went.

The event itself was nice - it was technically hosting some talks, but for about an hour and a half before the talks the space was open to meet other devs and share demos and such. Two people asked to check out the Amadeus demo and I got to a) show them the progress from the current published demo to the unpublished version I'm working on, and b) watch someone play it in person to remind myself of what a totally unbiased audience's first reaction is to it and its controls. It reminded me that while I've been revamping the point-and-click controls significantly, I need to make sure WASD is polished as well because many people prefer that scheme.

Anyway then I dipped when the talks started because I don't particularly find talks useful because I know what works for me and I don't listen to advice from people I don't know (and even sometimes from people I do know). Glad I went just for the schmoozing, though.

Spent the night with a friend who has worked in gamedev for ~8ish years now, and he is an incredibly valuable resource because he is REALLY good at giving advice/helpful feedback that recognizes "best practices" for him as someone working on a AAA team, and "best practices" for me as a solo dev of a visual novel, are completely different things. He is able to identify what values are actually worth me caring about at this point, and he also pointed out (I've very much given up on the industry completely) that once I make my own game, once I actually ship Amadeus on Steam, there are a lot of industry doors that will be open to me that aren't open yet. Many positions don't even look at you unless you've shipped a game on a major platform. So it was kind of good to hear that while I'm making this 10000% just for me on my terms, it actually could open doors much later down the line if I ever want it to.

Then I met with the professor who taught the course that got me on this path in the first place, by helping me recognize that I don't have to just be an audio person I CAN ACTUALLY BUILD THE GAME MYSELF. My final project for his class was the absolute shittiest jankiest prototype for what eventually became the Amadeus demo-- that class was HUGE for me. And my professor has given me a lot of great advice and help in Unity since then.

This meeting was interesting because I think it signified to me that, while he was the #1 most invaluable resource for me getting started in game dev, I think I've reached a point where I know what my goals are and I have the foundation to reach them, and I have somewhat found my niche and it's decidedly different from his. He definitely tried to give me advice about trying to navigate the current dumpster fire industry from the perspective of "someone who started a small studio and has done the pitching-to-publishers song and dance before" but, while he knows a LOT about the niche his own studio filled, I don't think he is equipped to understand whether the market for "4x3 SD visual novel directly inspired by a Japanese game from 2006 with a cult following" is a thing that exists. I kind of feel for him because his indie studio really tried to do everything "right" but he's having to dissolve it because the money is out and last year sucked ass. But that's exactly why I'm kind of ignoring his advice, because for me making Amadeus, it is literally not remotely about the money. I want to make this because I have a vision for a work of art that I want to bring into this world. If it never sells more than 10 copies, I'll be a bit disappointed, but I'll still consider the life I have lived as more fulfilling having made it. That's what's important to me.

I WILL burn out if I focus too hard about trying to make Amadeus into anything marketable and need it to sell X copies to be "worth it." If I continue as I have, "funding" Amadeus just by doing everything myself, creating a story I'm in love with and finishing it so I can share it with the world, then I am certain that I will finish.

It's been hard to maintain that laser focus in a world where it seems everyone wants to give me advice about how to monetize or make a career, but I KNOW that laser focus is NECESSARY to finish. I CANNOT care about the money if I want to make Amadeus what I want it to be. This game is so deeply personal to me in so many ways that I need it to be completely mine. If anything comes of it, if it sells any amount to any number of people beyond my circle of friends, it will be BECAUSE I made something incredibly authentic to my own vision and THAT is what appealed to people.

Anyway, after that conversation I met with a friend from music school, which was really wonderful because they were just excited about me making a project I'm excited about. We talked about art and passion projects and making silly things for fun. It was just nice to see them again, too.

I am extremely glad that I went, and now that I am back, I have a renewed vigor to finish Amadeus as I'd already planned on doing. Nothing is changed but everything is changed. I am bringing this game into the world and it's going to rule so hard.