#(also it's shitty)
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most frustrating thing in the world is when you really like a character who sucks, and you know they suck, so you’re chill with people who dislike or even hate them because… well they suck, you get it. but then a whole bunch of people hate them for things that just aren’t actually accurate or canon to the character and just treat these inaccurate and awful character traits as a given, so then you feel like you gotta be this scumbag’s defense attorney. free my man, he did so much awful shit but he didn’t do that
#fuck it I’m adding the banner to the post itself not a reblog#jimmy has done many things but he did not storm the capitol or abuse his kids#still mostly a joke and i still like hearing about peoples shitty blorbos#but also I think some of you don’t know what ‘he didn’t do that’ means
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This is my dream KPDH romance dynamic

#could i have made a less shitty meme? perhaps#but that would take time and also probably a computer. i have 5 minutes and my phone#also i'm incredibly annoyed that the Netflix app doesn't let you screenshot things. had to take what google images would give me#kpop demon hunters#kpdh#rujinu#polytrix#they're all polyamorous bisexuals your honour#rumi kpdh#jinu kpdh#zoey kpdh#mira kpdh
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(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)
#MY GIRLLLLLLLL <333333 you're doing amazing sweetie kill them all you deserve to#anyway. coping mechanism. the problems in my life i could solve if society just let me have a death note#this show really is an exercise in patience and suffering i get SO squicked out#by how much the horrible characters and situations mirror the insanity of what's happening in real life#also the revelation that some of the actors are Exactly as shitty as their characters are is. ugh.#but every time i'm like okay i can't take it i need to stop to protect my headspace#i think of kimiko and am like.... no... i need to see my gir....#hope karen gets jucy roles in other shows too PLEASE#the boys#kimiko miyashiro#karen fukuhara#theboysedit#tvedit
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shoutout to the people currently in saw traps. you’re gonna make it out of this. unless you’re morally impure or otherwise unworthy of surviving ☺️
#shitty saw traps#saw franchise#mod amanda#posts stolen from john kramer’s facebook#also stolen from a Gabe Gundacker vine
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was thinking abt how anya sleeps by the polle statue. which is motion activated to start talking.
+ i like drawing polle as a Character
#now originally i drew this under the same kind of premise as the animatic i did#in that it Is in reality just a statue but is. subconsciously treated as alive and as it’s cartoon self? if that makes sense#but i was thinking abt what if polle Was alive. a toon put on the tulpar as a shitty morale boosting animal that Isn’t you friend#but i worry this would change too much abt the story. i wouldn’t want to add too much levity/fluff#mouthwashing#the art gallery#polle being a toon instead of a statue kinda cheapens it’s effect probably#like i think it worked In The Little Bit like in the animatic. but not through the whole game#plus also it’d probably really muddy his like. symbolism. of like thr company and the baby#so i do have a couple more doodles but (shrugs worriedly)
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Megatronus Prime, Prima Prime.
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(al final)
#megatronus#prima#tf one#transformers one#tf megatronus#tf prima#sentinel prime#megop#CHANGED STUFF added a page#IT'S CANON THAT Megs has Megatronus' tcog and OP has Prima's SOOOO#I refuse to draw quintessons without good references I have no idea what i was doing and it looks shitty but i can't do anything else#very quick and messy and it bothers me but i have to learn to let go#also i do like the reincarnated headcanon but i also like the primes as their own guys#both are good#tf d16#orion pax#my stuff#megatronus prime#prima prime#noblespark
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I really love the thought of the Harringtons and the Hagans not liking each other but being forced to co-mingle because their kids are friends.
No one in Hawkins knows the full extent of the child neglect happening in the Harrington house, but enough is known for David and Maria Hagan to dislike Steve’s parents. If a parent was spending enough quality time with their kid, he wouldn’t be as clingy as Steve is with his parents.
Every (painfully few) interactions with the Harringtons required an hour phone call to Carol’s mom to debrief and gossip.
The reason Steve’s parents don’t like Tommy’s is simple. The Hagans try to make them look bad (they’re not).
One time, Steve’s mom, Angela, was making him a plate at a church function and Maria casually suggested not getting Steve strawberries. They upset his stomach. Angela didn’t know that. It was humiliating.
Richard was golfing with a client when he ran into David out with his older boys. He mentioned Steve winning his team’s MVP award at the end of the baseball season. It was the first Richard was hearing of it and it showed in front of his family-oriented client. He was furious.
At the one school function The Harringtons attend every year, Steve fell and scrapped up his elbow pretty badly. He ran to Tommy’s dad for help instead of his own parents.
They asked about it on the car ride home and Steve answered simply, “He’s a doctor.”
“He’s a dentist.”
“Okay.”
#thus beginning Richard Harrington’s one-sided feud with the dental industry and Steve repeating everything he says to Tommy’s dad#They’ll trash talk the Hagans instead of - you know - being better parents#they never say anything about Carol’s parents because her mom is retired military and her dad is in the navy#they’re shitty people but they’re also republicans so they have to pretend to give a shit about servicemen and women#Tommy thinks Steve has the coolest mom and dad of all time and doesn’t start doubting it until high school#while Steve loves Tommy’s parents so much that sometimes he gets overwhelmed and cries#steve harrington#eddie munson
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I don't want to imply anything, and I think Carol just isn't this type of person or character to do so, but
But
Buty I can't stop think about that she keeps a fucking sword in kitchen, but also, she calls Noelle to kitchen when she returns to home and very obviously isn't happy.
#deltarune#carol holiday#seriously treat this post as a joke.#I don't think that Carol fights her kids in kitchen like a superboss or something#but I still can't get over it#(I read Homestuck guys is it obvious)#(I read Homestuck im automatically high alert when a parent keeps a sword in kitchen)#seriously that's the joke#but who knows?#Homestuck fans ALSO didn't catched up quickly that something was wrong with Striders#and that is actually shitty thing and not a haha joke#who knoes. maybe Toby pulling this on us too#/j very very j
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i've said it before but it will forever and always make me insane that jacob's ending is to join the cullens for the sake of bella not having to give anything up. they find out jake will be immortal & tied to renesmee forever, so bella gets to smile & say "my family is finally complete! ^-^" but jake already HAS a family. he has a father and 2 sisters. quil, embry, seth and sam are like his brothers. jacob and leah were planning to run away together. he's always been welcome in emily's home, sue has been a family friend since before his birth. bella abandons her mortality by choice because she feels no connection to the people around her, but jacob has really strong bonds. it's clear that every character we meet in la push is like family to him, he's an active member of the community. jake would've graduated high school and been a mechanic, would've grown into a young man. a good friend, a fun uncle, a present son. he's set up to have such a rich life. and he's just magically compelled to give that up. beyond his control, he loses sight of everything, because his high school crush's baby is now the singular most important thing to him. he's perpetually 18 with his perpetually 18 year old girlfriend, running around vancouver or alaska or wherever with the girl who friendzoned him at 16 & her in-laws (who were antagonistic to him for months). and i'm just supposed to say omg yay now he doesn't have to let go of bella! everyone is happy! it's complete madness
#like even putting aside the utter insanity of him imprinting on a newborn (WHICH IS HARD TO PUT ASIDE) it is still CRAZY#like bella was never gonna do anything but be a vampire. from the moment she meets them the only ending for her is to join the cullens.#throughout the series the only thing we see tying bella to humanity is jacob. that's the conflict for her. thats what she must forfeit.#ofc there's charlie but SHE makes the decision that giving that relationship up is worth it to her#bella was never going to do anything else but jake WAS. jake HAD a whole life ahead of him that was taken from him#HE HAS NO CHOICE. HE'S JUST COMPELLED TO DO IT#ugh. jacob can be the Worst sometimes but ultimately he's a victim of the narrative fr#being kinda shitty & unable to get over a girl at 16 shouldn't condemn u to giving up literally every other relationship in ur life#also the phrasing of 'the girl who friendzoned him' in this post makes it sound like i think bella is wrong for that & to be clear i don't#i just mean to emphasize like. how young they are & how trivial their relationship drama would seem to them years down the line#jacob black#twilight#the twilight saga#twilight blog#bella swan#jacob twilight#quil ateara#seth clearwater#leah clearwater#embry call#sam uley#stephanie meyer#smeyer#new moon#eclipse#breaking dawn#twilight critical#mine#jake
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The realest part of the Barbie Movie was when Barbie was like "okay but what if this hurts his feelings? what if this makes him sad? :(" after Ken stole her house, stole her car, and stole her agency, because as a woman you still have to second guess everything you do on the assessment of whether it might hurt a man's feelings.
And then that apprehension was proven right one million times over by the entire Conservative Internet Manosphere pissing and shitting and screaming themselves hoarse over Barbie daring to hurt a man's feelings.
#barbie#barbie movie#also if the genders were reversed and Ken's character was a woman everyone would fucking _hate_ her im just saying#'petty bratty bitchy girlfriend wants to steal everything her boyfriend owns because she learned about feminism'#everyone would HATE her#but because Ken's a man everyones pissing frothing review is about how shittily he was treated and how shitty the men are treated blah blah#(I fucking loved Ken in the movie but I'm saying this with confidence: Everyone would hate female!Ken if this was reversed)
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Before Jason makes his debut as Red Hood, he goes apartment hunting.
And the thing about Gotham is, all of the apartments that would make for good safe houses, are safe houses. The Bat’s safe houses. If Jason wants to set up shop, he’s got to get creative. This means being willing to look the other way about some things. Namely, living with other people.
Jason gets a roommate.
Sure, he’d found a couple of spots that fit some of the criteria he used for making safe houses, but not all apartments were equal. And having a semi-functioning civilian cover was useful. Sometimes.
All this to say that Jason responded to a craigslist post of some guy looking for a roommate. The post was written well enough, decent grammar and a fair enough price. Unlike some of the places he’d “toured.”
He has to trudge up a few flights of stairs to get to the place, because roof access is always high on the priority list, and knocks on the door. He waits a few minutes, hears someone check the peephole, and then the sound of at least five separate locks being undone.
With the door finally open, he gets a good look at the guy’s face. Too good of a look, actually.
Because the man who opens it is Dick Grayson.
#jason todd#dick grayson#red hood#nightwing#batman#does dick recognize him? either way hijinks ensue#jason and dick as roommates both trying to live cheap af vigilante lifestyles without taking bruce’s money#dick’s undercover on a long op with bruce and needs a trackable identity to convince whoever to recruit him#jason doesn’t know this. what he does know is that dick lives off cereal and dirty socks and he refuses to live like this#dick thinks it’s either a coincidence his roommate looks/acts like his dead brother or that he’s been made and someone is trying to prove#he’s a wayne to blow his cover. lex is high on his list for his ability to make clones. jason honestly can’t tell if dick thinks it’s him#and tries to hide that he’s back. both of them are in subtly trying to get the other to admit something#all it takes is one old nickname slip up and the cats outta the bag#also angst because dick convinces jason he was missed and he tried to avenge him when he realizes he’s not a clone#i think these two would be hilarious roommates. does the pit make an appearance at all?#maybe someone genuinely tries to break into their shitty apartment and jason breaks the guys arm because he sees someone enter dick’s room#that isn’t his brother. they keep odd hours and jason is trying to build his criminal empire.#at least one of them comes back beaten up and needs stitches. where they’re in the kitchen fixing the other up while they both ignore#they’ve figured the other out. it comes to a head when they’re both out and nightwing needs to be brought back to the cave#so hood goes on their comms and summons the batclan to come get him.#also ft. jason’s ptsd ridden ass and nightwing’s stellar comedy#batsiblings#batbros#batfamily
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Rook, with horny intent: Stay awake all night? However shall we pass the time? 😏
Lucanis: Would you talk to me? Your voice is a comfort. 🥺
Rook:
#Dragon Age#Dragon Age: The Veilguard#DATV#Veilguard#Lucanis Dellamorte#DATV spoilers#Dragon Age: The Veilguard spoilers#Veilguard spoilers#casually inflicting a lethal dose of cute aggression normally reserved for piles of kittens#also yes I painted those shitty hearts and the blush#because I thought the original meme had them and I found out I remembered it wrong#and I'm nothing if not faithful to my stupid shitpost ideas
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THIS JUST IN — Local man says all siblings are friends with attempted murderers, executioners and witches, discorages others from sending loved ones to liberal school
#and this is all before the hybrid prince comes out which I’m sure will contain even more odd characters for this family to befriend#reed is just some guy and I love that for him#so have some shitty doodles I made on IbisPaint on my phone before school#also I just started rereading both moon rising and darkness of dragons and how did I forget moon’s crush on sora#I have reread moon rising so often yet somehow that slipped my mind and for that I am disappointed in myself#I am going to make it up to the world by drawing them together if I ever get the motivation#wings of fire#wof#wof reed#wof umber#wof flame#wof peril#wof sora#wof moonwatcher#wof moon#comic#my art#digital art#doodle#wings of fire meme#wof meme
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“Alienate.” Flo mutters, the first thing Phil Callahan hears when he enters the station. “No, that's eight letters. Darn.”
“How’s the crossword, Miss Flo?” He asks, as he always asks, every morning.
It’s part of a little routine he’s established with their doting receptionist, partly out of boredom, mostly because she sometimes asks him for help.
If there’s one thing Phil enjoys doing, it’s helping.
(It’s why he became a cop, after all.)
“Hi, hun. I’m stuck.” Flo responds, staring down at the New York Times spread out before her.
It’s a quiet Friday morning and a quick glance at the open and dark-empty office of the Chief says the man’s not in yet, and so Callahan rounds the big wooden desk to stare at the puzzle over Flo’s shoulder.
“Which one?” He asks, seeing most of it’s already been filled out.
Flo jabs a finger at the offending clue, her nails painted a light pastel blue. “Pushed away through inattention.” She reads dutifully, then traces her finger to the blank section of the crossword, tapping at it. “Nine letter word.”
Phil cocks his head, thinks it through.
“It wasn’t alienate.” Flo says, non-helpfully.
“Ignored?�� Phil tries.
“That’s seven letters.”
They both stare down at the puzzle, the black and white squares taunting them.
“Neglected.” Phil says suddenly, triumphant. “It has to be neglected--the word has to end with a D to make sense in the puzzle. See?”
One of two words that crosses over with their missing piece is ‘abandoned’, which fits nicely with the apparently gloomy theme of today’s crossword.
“Doesn’t work with the other word that goes through it though.” Flo points out, defeating the proud little glow that had been building in Phil’s head.
The other bisecting word is ‘isolated’, making him wonder if the puzzlemaker is in the middle of a rough divorce.
(Or maybe just a rough day, and he’s the one projecting…)
“Well, hell.” Phil grumbles, staring down at it.
“Try estranged!” Powell calls as he passes by with a mug full of coffee.
Flo carefully pencils in ‘estranged’ and makes a pleased noise when it fits.
“Thank you, hun!” She calls, and Phil huffs at himself for not seeing it, but also refuses to let Powell’s one upping ruin his day.
The man himself offers their receptionist a smile, before tossing a casual reprimand Phil’s way.
“Callahan, get to work, would you?”
“Yeah, yeah, smartypants.” He says, going to fetch his own cup of coffee. “Save the bitching for the Chief.”
Powell rolls his eyes at him, and Callahan makes a face back, and the two of them go on to have a very boring, small town cop sort of day--right until a legitimate call finally comes in.
Well.
Sort of.
“The Harrington residence is having a too-loud party again.” Hopper says, having finally shown up sometime between nine and noon. “Drunk teenagers are throwing up in people’s lawns.”
“It’s not even dark yet.” Powell mutters, staring at the clock as if he couldn’t imagine a party taking place before 8 pm.
“Teenagers don’t care about that shit, that’s why they’re getting the cops called on them.” Hopper snips back. He’d been in a mood all day, and not the fun, jolly kind.
“Come on Callahan, let’s go remind Harrington Jr. that it’s his daddy that owns this department, not him.”
“I wish you wouldn’t joke about that.” Phil says as he follows Hopper out the door, waving goodbye to Flo as he goes. “People are going to think you’re serious.”
(Sometimes, Phil thinks as he swings into the patrol truck, that Hopper is serious.
That they are being paid to look the other way.
Then he takes a sip of their god-awful coffee and hears Hopper’s ancient truck cough to life, and figures, if anyone was getting cash here, there would at least be evidence of it.)
xXx
Harrington Jr.’s party isn’t quite the chaotic disaster it was made out to be, though there are a handful of tipsy teenagers stumbling around the lawn.
“One of these idiots is going to drown in that damn pool someday.” Hopper complains through gritted teeth as he storms up the driveway, kids scrambling into action the second they spot him.
One loudly screams; “Cops!” and the rest of them scatter, running in so many directions it makes Phil’s head spin. He briefly moves as if to give chase before deciding there’s simply too many to bother.
(Knows that it’s unlikely they’ll arrest anyone but Harrington tonight, anyway.)
“If the right kid bites it, Dick Harrington might even have to come deal with it personally.” Over his shoulder Hopper tosses Phil a shark’s smile, barging up the porch to bang hard on one of the two front doors. “Wouldn’t that be a sight to see?”
“No, not really.” Phil says, because he’s thinking about dead teenagers in pools.
“Also I don’t think Richard likes to be called Dick.” He adds cautiously, just in case the man himself happens to be home.
It’s unlikely, doubly so given all the drunk minors, but that just means Phil isn’t surprised when it’s not the Vice President of Indiana Corporate Consulting, LLC that opens the door but his son, Steve.
“Officers.” The kid drawls, shirtless in swim trunks, not a single strand of his perfectly styled hair out of place. “What can I do for you?”
He leans casually in the doorway, as another kid screams out a warning inside.
“You can cut the shit.” Hopper says. “You know the drill. Turn around and put your hands behind your back.”
Harrington does neither of those things, instead tilting his head and making a face like he just smelled something foul.
“I’m not drunk. And anyone who is drunk brought it without telling me. You should go arrest them.” Steve jams a thumb over his shoulder, pointing at the rapidly emptying house.
Then he smirks at both of them, every inch the newly crowned King the kids insist on calling him.
“You think your old man is gonna believe that?” Hopper snarls, infuriated. He never was one that dealt well with teenagers. Or at least, these kinds (and that damn Munson kid, who just loved stealing everybodies lawn flamingos.)
“I think you’ll find ‘my old man’,” Steve mockinly mimics, “doesn’t care.”
“He will when the neighbors start calling.” Hopper tosses back as Phil pushes past Harrrington Jr. to begin the process of trying to wrangle drunk teenages. “That’s Janet Wilkinson’s prized hydrangeas Hagan’s been throwing up in. You wanna see what happens when she talks to your mother?”
“She has to get a hold of my mother to talk to her.” Steves snarks, instead of pulling out his usual charm. “Why do you think she called you instead?”
This isn’t Phil’s first call to the house, but it is the first time Harrington Jr. has been this combative. It’s new, but not exactly unexpected.
Not when Steve Harrington has been hurtling towards this ever since he started hosting parties.
“You think your parents won’t care when I call them?”
“Well they haven’t before, so--”
Phil rolls his eyes as the kid and Hopper trade more barbs, the adult’s growing sharper and sharper as Steve makes a couple of arguments about being held accountable for other people’s actions (and something else about unreasonably high standards and making his own bail.)
Let's them argue it out as he quickly realizes he will definitely not be catching teenagers, and pivots to scanning for too-drunk stragglers in need of help.
“Keep running your mouth, Harrington, and I’ll let you cool your heels overnight in a jail cell. That what you want?”
“You already did that, remember? Swore you’d never do it again because I was too annoying.”
“You can’t annoy me if I’m not the one there watching you--”
Phil tunes out the rising voices, his attention snagging on something else.
The Harringtons’ entryway was sparse, and the rooms beyond weren’t much better. The whole house had the sterile feel of a museum; untouched and unlived in.
Not even a swarm of teenagers had managed to leave much of a mark. Or at least, not in these few rooms, anyway.
Which is what makes the scraggly note stand out.
It’s taped to the wall right above the phone, but slightly askew, like it’d been thought of last-minute. A little crumpled, like someone half-heartedly tried to peel it off before giving up and pressing it back down.
‘Who puts a phone in the entryway?’ Phil wonders, but then, it is the Harrington’s.
Maybe they need it to find each other in this huge fucking house.
He leans in to read the note, spotting the bold letters at the bottom informing everyone the entire notepad had been custom ordered for RICHARD HARRINGTON, VP.
‘Darling,’ beautiful cursive starts, at odds with the footnote, ‘Sorry that we couldn’t get a hold of you. Your father had a business opportunity, you know how important those are. I’ll send you a postcard. Take care of the house, remember that Martha is coming on Wednesdays now to get the dry cleaning. Do something fun for your birthday!’
It’s signed XOXO, Muffin.
Muffin is, of course, Richard Harrington’s wife, and also a walking punchline. Or at least she is when people aren’t tripping over themselves to stay on her good side.
Weird that she signed it as such instead of with ‘Mom’, but then Muffin always has been a bit…much.
More importantly (besides the fact that they skipped out on their own kids birthday) is the date at the top, which says the note was left Tuesday, March 17th.
It’s currently the middle of May.
Flo’s crossword springs to mind, each guessed word clicking into place beside Steve’s own, still warm, spoken just moments ago.
Abandoned, and ‘She has to get a hold of my mother to talk to her.’
Ignored and ‘I think you’ll find my old man doesn’t care.’
A cold realization sweeps through Phil, as he recalls the things they’ve all heard other kids say about Steve.
No parents.
Big house.
Always down for a good time.
(‘Neglect is the failure to give somebody proper care or attention.’ Powell had argued on their lunch break, as Phil complained that ‘neglected’ fit the stupid crossword better than ‘estranged’ had.
“Estranged works because it’s when you’re not really talking to someone. Hence the pushing away part. They’re different. Similar! But different.”
“That’s dumb.” Phil argued back.
“You’re dumb.” Powell replied, then laughed when Phil gasped in mock offense. “It’s why you’re getting taken to the cleaners in your divorce!”
“Hey man, come on, too far!”
“Sorry, sorry--” )
All cop’s develop intuition, even the small town ones, and Phil’s kicks in as he stares at the note.
Neglected might be a hard sell for a fifteen year old that drives a BMW, but estranged definitely fits the bill.
(He’s pretty sure neglect does fit the fucking bill no matter how much money the kids parents have, but he’s been on the force long enough to know how these things go.)
He turns on his heel and marches over, sticking himself right in between his boss and the only remaining teenager.
“Where are your parents at, again?” He asks, right over whatever point Hopper was butchering.
“What?” Steve and Hopper both say, before giving the other a look for it.
“Do you know where your parents are at?” Phil asks again, switching up the wording a little just like they’d taught him in the academy.
“Uh…No?” Steve says, seeming too startled to lie. “You’d have to call dad’s receptionist.”
“Okay. And when are they coming back?”
This time Steve tosses a look at Hopper, like Phil’s the one being weird here.
“When they get back.” He says, and it’s like he’s trying to still sound tough, to put forth that King persona, but is fumbling a little now that it’s not Hopper who's asking the questions.
“So you have no idea, at all.” He clarifies, and feels his stomach sink a little.
“I mean, I could also call dad’s receptionist.” Steve says, like that makes it better.
“Whose in charge of you while they’re gone?” And yes he knows it’s a stupid question, knows that Steve is fifteen (he thinks, anyway) and is perfectly old enough
“...I am.” Steve says, right over Hopper’s annoyed; “What the hell, Callahan.”
“Chief, can I talk to you?” He says, turning to face his boss.
Hopper stares back at him in disbelief, before making a show of summoning the last of his patience with a loud sigh.
“You.” He points at Steve. “Sit. Stay.”
“Want me to shake too?” Harrington Jr calls out in an attempt to recover, but Phil’s got a hand on Hopper’s elbow and is dragging the older man away before he can get sucked back in.
“You better have found something good Callahan.” Hopper warns, as Phil snatches the note on the wall as they pass by.
“Hopper,” Phil says quietly, leaning in as he pulls Hopper all the way into the kitchen, kicking empty solo cups as he goes. “I don’t think his parents have been home in a while.”
He shoves the note in the Chief’s face.
“No shit, kid.” Hopper spits, and the nickname sits badly, now that Phil’s heard it spat at Steve the same way.
(Hopper doesn’t mean it, Phil knows he doesn’t.
Hopper’s the best boss Phil’s ever had. The guy’s just a little rough sometimes, gets lost in the little things and needs to be brought back down.
‘He’s got a lot going on, hun, but we’ll get him there.’ Flo says when he’s been really mean, and Phil knows they will, he’s seen it himself, but sometimes he wishes whatever the Chief was healing from would let him go a little faster.)
He grabs the note, eyes scanning over it, and Phil talks a little faster.
“No, I mean, look at the date, Chief. They’ve been gone for months.”
Hopper looks up from the note and gives him the world’s flattest state. “So?”
Phil gapes a little at him. “Isn’t that abandonment?”
In response, Hopper simply steps more into the kitchen, then throws open a door next to the stove. Reveals a huge, walk-in pantry, piled high with all kinds of food.
Stands next to it like it’s a party trick he just unveiled.
“Given the lights are on and that fancy little car of his seems to have gas, I’d say they’re providing for the kid just fine.” He says crossly.
Which isn’t wrong exactly, but it’s not right either.
“Yeah,” Phil protests, “but--”
“Trust me, things could be a lot worse.” Hopper cuts him off. “Save all the pity for someone who actually needs it, and not a kid whose parents’ lawyers will cut both our balls off for even suggesting they don’t care about their kid.”
“Harsh, Chief.” Phil mutters, stung. There’s a small, growing voice in his head that says Steve Harrington does kind of need someone.
That a kid, even one as old as Steve is, shouldn’t be left like this.
“Life’s harsh. Now unless you’re volunteering to watch the kid all night in a cell, I say we call the brat’s parents and this time, we’re gonna hit them with a citation when they get home. See if they ignore that.”
“Please do!” Steve calls loudly, from where he’s still seated on the couch. “It’ll be funny, trust me.”
Hopper goes to pinch the bridge of his nose, before glancing sideways at the island counter covered in solo cups and bottles.
Changes course to pluck an unopened whiskey bottle from the pile, tucking it under his arm.
Storms back out to whatever the Harrington’s call the room Steve’s in, pausing only to stop in front of him.
“Hey.” Steve says, spotting the bottle.
Hopper holds it out. “Oh, I’m sorry, is this yours?”
Steve’s mouth opens, before he catches Callahan’s shaking head. Thinks better of it, and slams it back closed.
Grumbles; “No, sir.”
“Oh it’s sir now, is it?” Hopper says with a snort. “Since you’re so good at eavesdropping, you already know what I’m going to do. Congratulations Harrington, you get out of jail tonight, but,”
He leans forward, putting himself almost nose to nose with the surely teenager, “I will be making sure that this time, your parents pay attention.”
Quick as a shot he’s up and out the door, slamming it close behind him like he forgot Phil was there.
“Good luck!” Steve shouts after him, but it’s clear even he thinks the Chief won their little sparring match.
“Have your parents really been gone since March?” Phil says when the coast is clear, and watches Steve blink at him like he hadn’t realized the younger officer was still there.
“Yeah.” Steve says with a shrug, like it’s not a big deal. “Every kid’s dream.”
It’s not. Even Phil can tell from the way Steve’s face looks just then, that he knows it’s not.
He doesn’t know what exactly posses him, but the next words out of his mouth are; “You ever get too lonely here, you can stay with me.”
“What?” Steve says, eyes snapping right to Phil’s face like he misheard him.
He’s embarrassed for two entire seconds before deciding, fuck it.
He already offered, he’s not taking it back.
“It’s a big house, kid. You shouldn’t be alone for that long.” Phil thinks about his impending divorce. On the emptiness of the house, with his soon to be ex wife long gone. How that eats at him, sometimes. Adds; “No one should be.”
Harrington Jr. stares at him like he’s lost his mind. “Whatever.” He scoffs, but it’s not quite the waspish tone he’d used before.
“You ever need help either, you call me.” Phil says, because that seems important to say too.
He points up at one of the chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, impossibly high over both their heads. “Even if it’s just to hold a ladder to change one of those lightbulbs.”
Steve’s eyes go up with him then back down, like he’s still not sure this isn’t a joke being played on him.
“I mean it.” Phil says, right as one of the front doors whips back open. Reaches into the pocket of his uniform, and pulls out his card. “You need me, you call.”
“Callahan!” Hopper bellows, and Phil calls out a loud; “Coming!” before making eye contact with Steve once more.
“Take it.” He says, holding out the card, and hopes he sounds like a proper adult when he does.
(Phil often does not feel like an adult, least of which because he’s the youngest in the department by two decades, nevermind the failed marriage.)
“Okay.” Steve says dismissively, but he reaches out.
Takes the card.
It feels like a victory and Phil lets it be one as he leaves the Harrington residence and Steve behind with it. Feels the rot of that be soothed by the fact he at least did something.
(Also see’s Hopper didn’t wait for him, but is instead sitting in the driver’s seat of the truck.
Knows his boss is gonna be pissed at him, but faces the noose anyway.)
“Puppies are expensive.” The Chief tells him darkly, the second Phil opens the door. “And they shit all over the floor.”
“What?” He asks, not always used to his bosses nonsensical ramblings.
He eyes the thermos the Chief’s holding, and wonders if already dumped the whiskey he stole in it.
They all thought the Chief had been getting better, but maybe not…
“Puppies,” Hopper stressed, jamming the hand holding the thermos in Phil’s face (no liquor smell, thank God.) “who have very rich owners, are typically well cared for, even if their idea of care and your idea are different.”
Phil’s face contorts in confusion, eyes following Hopper’s finger pointed middle finger to the fading tail lights of Steve’s BMW.
It takes him a second, but he gets there.
“Steve isn’t a puppy.” He says instantly offended, because teenagers and puppies are very, very different, thanks, and yes okay, he knows it’s a metaphor, but it’s a stupid one.
“Acts like one.” Hopper says, before taking a noisy sip of the thermos.
“He really doesn’t?”
Phil wants to say he complains right back at his boss, but really it comes out as more of a question--because Steve Harrington has never acted like a dog. The kid’s not clingy, or whiny or even loud.
He’s a kid, sure, a teenager that’s obnoxious, but aren’t all teenagers that way, by default?
Phil’s mother certainly said so, though she’d been teasing about it.
(She also said something about how kids who can’t get what they need the right way, will revert to trying out the wrong ways instead.)
“Whatever. Just don’t come running to me when you get too close and Mommy and Daddy show up to remind you it’s none of your business.”
Hopper starts the cruiser, expecting that to be that.
And normally it would be. Phil would leave it alone, even if he disagreed, but today he finds he can’t.
Not when the words from Flo’s crossword are still haunting his head, ‘abandoned’ and ‘neglected’ and ‘pushed away’ lighting up like little warning signs, all pointing towards one very sad kid.
“If they come back.” He finds himself saying.
“Oh, they always come back.” Hopper snorts right back. “Just not when any of us ever want them too.”
Phil doesn’t like that answer, but this time he does leave it alone.
Figures the best he can do for Steve is what he already did. Let him know he saw him. Let him know he understood.
If Steve needs someone, he now knows Phil will come.
He won’t let anyone make him feel bad for offering that, either, because this is the exact thing he signed up to do, when he became a cop.
Even if Harrington never reaches out to him, at least Phil can say he did something. At least he can live with himself.
xXx
Weeks go by.
A month.
Two months and more.
By a year Phil has kind of forgotten about his promise to Steve Harrington, and by the time the Chief has gotten them all involved in some kind of--poisoned pumpkin patch problem, he’s too caught up in trying to figure out what the hell is going on in Hawkins to really think about it.
That is, until the kid himself shows up on his doorstep, with a black eye and a hand hugging his ribs.
Which would be concerning on its own, but it’s worse given that known lawn flamingo thief and constant pain in the police department’s ass, Eddie Munson, is right there with him.
“Hi Officer Callahan.” Munson says, and he, Phil quickly realizes, looks perfectly fine, despite clearly being the only reason Steve seven on his feet. “Uh…Harrington said I should take him here?”
He does not sound certain, and frankly, looks two seconds from bolting.
Given how much Steve is bleeding on him, Phil can’t blame him for it.
“What the hell.” He says, shocked and loose tongued for it. “Did you two get in a fight!?”
“No!” Munson yelps, then immediately stills when the act of it jostles Steve. “I found him like this. He was fucking trying to drive and was weaving all over the place--I got him to stop, and get in my van, but the only thing he’ll say is that I needed to bring him to you!”
Like it wasn’t bad enough the chief had been out of contact all night or that there had been weird people swarming all over town, nevermind all those damn phone calls about loose dogs and--
“You said.” Steve interrupts Phil’s spiraling thoughts, voice sounding oddly strangled, and he'd pay more attention to that if he wasn’t finding new and concerning injuries every second he looked.
“You said I could go to you, for help. If I needed it. Cause Hopper--Hopper’s busy,” Steve’s slurring, Phil realizes and oh god a lot of that blood is on his head, “An’ I didn’t want the kids to worry, but I think…i was wrong, I don’t--I think I’m…I don’t wanna be ‘lone--”
“Okay, okay.” Phil reaches out, tries to take Steve’s weight off of Munson. “Get in here. You too, Munson.”
Expects the latter to protest and is a little surprised to watch as the kid instead helps Steve hobble inside.
“Put him on the couch while I get my first aid kit.” Phil orders, trying not to panic and failing. He has first aid training--more than, actually, because he took it as an elective back when he thought he was going to go to medical school, but that was years ago and Steve looks like he went head first through a blender.
‘Stabilize him now, panic later.’ He orders himself, as Munson settles both of them down on the couch.
“Am I dying?” Steve asks vaguely, to Munson’s increasingly panicked face.
“Nope.” Phil says, voice as firm as he can make it. “Not today.”
He comes over, looking over Steve once again
“You staying Munson?” He asks, more an out for the kid than anything else.
Watches as the older teen clocks that for what it is.
See’s Steve unintentionally lean into his chest, breathing a little weird.
“No man, you’re going to need an extra hand.” Eddie says. “I’m staying right here.”
“Me too.” Steve slurs nonsensically.
“What the hell, me too.” Phil says, just to lighten the mood a little.
Then he drops to his knees and goes about stabilizing Steve.
(At some point Munson decides to help tell his latest flamingo heist story. Phil let him, even if no one had realized he’d pulled off another one again.
He got Steve to laugh, so Phil figures it was worth it, at least. )
Part Two
#I blame all the callahan stuff going around for this#it bit me#Stranger things#phil callahan#Steve Harrington#King Steve vs Phil of all people clocking that he's being neglected#also its the 80s so dumping your teenage kid for months was more uh#normal#and less What The Fuck worthy even for the cops#Phil does NOT agree#some pre steddie here if you squint#and an alt S2 meeting#Eddie absolutely steals lawn flamingos#he stages wars with them#Hoppers kind of shitty here but Hopper has also been dealing with a lot#he would have put Steves ass in a hospital if he had clocked Steve was that bad off in S2#0o0 fanfics#in which Phill Callahan of all people#adopts steve harrington#beat to shit Steve harrington#my favorite tag
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saw/house/hannibal crossover where all three of them are trying to manipulate the same patient into succumbing to their true nature which naturally ends with a fistfight in the parking lot while the patient quietly leaves
#shitty saw traps#saw franchise#house md#nbc hannibal#this post is just for me I think since I’m watching all three at once#also definitely includes a scene where house makes fun of John Kramer for having cancer#and Hannibal uses that to manipulate John into killing house#but it’s revealed that John is pitting them against each other to see who the better doctor is
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reached the part about miquella's charm in the dlc. got to thinking about miquella and malenia. i'd like to think, charm or no charm, he still loves her
#elden ring#malenia#miquella#art#draws#comic#it takes an immense amount of love n loyalty to call urself the blade of another person. maybe even an unnatural amount#also sorry for the shitty writing im not gonna write it in the fromsoft style thats for sure#n please no spoilers. i havent gone thru shadow keep yet
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