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"life doesnt get better, you just get stronger" does NOT include ages 11-17. life does in fact just get better from there. those years are dogshit. like, you do get stronger but its mostly just a factor of not being 11-17 anymore. positive thinking helps but it doesnt fix whatevers going on at 15, you have to brute force through that one raw
#i originally posted this as just a 'hey remember how fuckin bad middle/highschool was? shit was wild' type post but now#there are a bunch of teens in the notes being like 'oh my god are you serious? it gets better? im not stuck in hell forever??'#and im reminded that the only people who told teenage ella 'it gets better' were speakers at mental health assemblies#aka the least relatable people alive who were seemingly born to lie to you#so. uh. yeah im a certified adult who isnt here to lie or sugarcoat the realities of being a teenager#the only thing more certain than the pain is the transcience
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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#lana del rey#girlblogging#lizzy grant#this is a girlblog#gaslight gatekeep girlboss#alana champion#lily rose icons#dollete aesthetic#just girly things#angelcore#lana del ray aesthetic#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#layla buffalo 66#elizabeth woolridge grant#tumblr girls#just girly thoughts#just girly posts#hell is a teenage girl#this is what makes us girls#trailer park princess#this is girlhood#priscilla movie#sparkle jump rope queen#nymph3t#nympette#nymphett#i love him#my one and only#buffalo 66#head over heels
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Dr Crowley, my dear Dr Fell, welcome... to Jurassic Park
*bwa bwa bwaaaa bwa bwa*
Hello, I'll be tonights pre-show entertainment, and I am thrilled to announce:
Couples Therapy: Jurassic Park Edition
With a home release to an AO3 tab near you Fall 2024
This is a team project, with yours truly as the poster artist, @megaarn as the scene artist, and @rainwritings (AO3) as our author. Created for @do-it-with-style-events 's Silver Screen Bang
Hope to see y'all there, folks
#do it with style events#silver screen bang#good omens#aziraphale#crowley#aziracrow#pls notice the knife in the logo#art post#my art#jam doodles#annoyed that I've only now noticed I messed up the credit for ~myself~ on the poster#supposed to be PBandJammothy not PBandJAMMOTHY#small thing so whatever#(couldn't figure out how to get krita's text stuff how I wanted it so I typed/arranged it in a different program)#(so its an image I then further edited in krita - aka annoying to go back and fix)#jam creates
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the mental fortitude and determination it must've taken for kevin to learn to play with his right hand
#my posts#my aftg posts#the foxhole court#aftg#all for the game#kevin day#the trauma of nearly losing his ability to play aka the only thing he /has/#the trauma of leaving the nest and adjusting to a completely different lifestyle#while they were on break he was practicing#probably constantly worrying that riko will find him (he'll kill him if he does)#and wondering what'll happen if he can't play again (they'll kill him for sure)#and six months later he was already testing using his left hand what the fuck!!!!!!!!!#kevin day deserves more love and respect and i will not rest until he gets it
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“Nine would have treated Martha better than Ten did”
I need to talk about this argument that never seems to stop circulating.
Note: Not a venomous/anti post. There’s more than enough of that across fandom spaces as is, and this is supposed to be a place for ✨sweet, blissful escapism✨
When making this argument, people seem to envision a scenario in which Nine never met Rose.
While I can appreciate a good hypothetical, recognizing Rose's significance to the Doctor (Nine and Ten) is essential to understanding why things with Martha played out the way they did in the first place.
In the third series, the Doctor is grieving. This grief is deliberately threaded into nearly every script, whether spoken aloud or not (and these are just a few examples):
He's burning in Rose’s wake the entire time Martha travels with him, which is why it’s so frequently called upon: It’s 100% deliberate in framing his grief. He grieved as Nine too, of course— having been fresh on the heels of the Time War — but then he met Rose, which changed everything.
Back then, he was still a rude, traumatized pain in the ass, but we watch Rose soften more of those jagged edges with every episode as they grow closer; as he lets his guard down and forms a deep connection with her.
He falls in love (against his better judgment) and it's game over.
And yes: provided S1E1 had been titled 'Martha', one can realistically assume things might have unfolded similarly to how they did with Rose. However, it wouldn’t have been that way just because the Doctor was Nine and “Nine was different” — it would be because he wasn’t already in love with someone else. The same can't be said for the start of S3.
Think of it like this: if Rose AND Martha had been in that cellar — if Nine had taken both of them along with him in S1 — we’d eventually be looking at the most melodramatic love triangle ever, what with him living in close quarters with two brilliant, gorgeous, compassionate young women... But Doctor Who is plenty “soap opera” as is with just one woman in the TARDIS.
(I certainly wouldn’t object to reading that fic, though)
Now, regarding the unrequited elephant in the room…
His inability to be romantic with Martha isn’t because he thinks her lesser, nor is it for lack of compatibility. It isn't because Rose is any better than her. It certainly isn’t just because he’s Ten.
It’s really only for one reason, which can't be denied — and now I’m a broken record:
He is still in love with Rose.
(cut from a tenrosedaily gif)
Nine is Ten, and Ten is only such a mess in S3 because he’s just lost the love of his life. Martha merely got caught in the crosshairs of a volatile Time Lord in mourning, and yes — it sucks. Absolutely.
But it also feels dismissive to chalk Ten and Martha’s relationship up to little more than some sort of mindless dance of pining, jealousy, and toxicity.
Ten trusted Martha with his life over and over again — and hers, with him. He constantly praised her brilliance, happily carting her around time and space with no intention of letting her go. In the BBC’s extended universe of novels/comics/cartoons/etc, there’s so much depth to their relationship: love and trust and trauma and sacrifice. They had their own special bond as mates, their own complexities — so it’s a bummer that it's forever overshadowed by the other things.
I’m not denying that there was a lot of stuff that sucked/was for sure toxic about Ten's S3 behavior, but so many of the things I've seen him catching flak for can be directly attributed to being A Clueless Fucking Alien Idiot (not a trait that’s unique to Ten) — as well as his flat-out obliviousness to Martha’s feelings.
So yes, I agree: if Rose never existed, he would have treated Martha differently as Nine. He also would have treated her differently as Ten. Certainly.
But Rose did exist, and when discussing canon, it matters.
“He tells me that he absolutely, 100% loves Rose... He tells me how my daughter; my wonderful, beautiful, clever little girl saved him from himself before… And he says that’s all because of me! I made her into the Rose Tyler that saved him.”
-Jackie Tyler, Flight Into Hull!
Martha got the short end of the stick in S3. She came round at the wrong place and time, but that doesn't mean it was all bad. It doesn't mean the Doctor didn’t adore her. It certainly doesn't mean the time they spent together was wasted or worthless. They were brilliant!
Sure, he could be a twat, but let it be known that he was a twat with Rose as well, both as Nine and Ten. I’m sure Tentoo can be plenty infuriating, too. So while I'll defend Ten (and Tentoo) into the ground forever and ever and ever, I'll concede that he's fucked up.
The Doctor is a certified Pain In The Ass. It’s one of the things I love so much about this character — dynamics.
But never forget that Martha was goddamn tough as nails and overcame every bit of it. She moved on with her life, and the Doctor moved on with his. One can only pray that, when they inevitably drag her back onto the show (which feels inevitable if I'm honest), we see at once that she's been living her best life for all these years.
#I'm paranoid af about posting this but also feel like maybe two people will read it so perhaps I'm safe#doctor who#tenth doctor#ninth doctor#rose tyler#martha jones#baby's first meta#dw meta#I hope this wasn't just a mess of discombobulated stream-of-consciousness chatter#try as I may to avoid it#I'm somehow still aware of the sea of bad fandom vibes surrounding almost every character mentioned#besides Nine - who for some reason seems to be above reproach#there's a painful absence of civil discourse#especially where shipping is concerned#but let me tell you#I've vibed with T/M people about T/R and T/R people about T/M and it is a beautiful thing#I wish we could all just get along#also I've got so many more thoughts about this topic#like an embarrassingly long list of thoughts#I tried to scale it down as best I could while also being as inoffensive as possible#gonna crawl back under my rock now#also you should all go read Peacemaker#best DW novel since the Stone Rose#belated tag added way after the fact but:#for some reason I’ve yielded so much hate mail since originally posting this#because I suppose some people have only cottoned on to my enjoyment of T/M#but please note that I’ve been writing my T/M series since 2022#it’s had no bearing whatsoever on my love of T/R+T2/R aka the OTP of all time#but I’m also a grown-ass woman in my thirties and we are all playing with dolls here#I just wanna spread love and write smut and I do this for fun so if you can’t be nice - then I don’t want you reading anyway
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S5 opener REAL
#byler#will byers#stranger things#every season besides s4-5 opens with non main characters#for el we got a flashback of the lab followed by her perspective in the scene directly after#and I think for Will we will see something similar#with us getting the flashback of him in castle byers in the UD#followed by him in the present in the scene after#but what exactly would warrant that memory being brought up in association with Will in the present?#mayhaps his connection to the mindflayer and the UD run deeper than we realize…#it’s likely not something he could just rid himself of in s2 and now he’s all good#he literally still feels a connection to everything he is feeling#that means he is still technically at risk of being the spy in some capacity#the massacre at Hawkins lab also was a guiding force for El discovering the ‘truth’ in s4#so it’s likely for Will this instance will operate in a way that re-contextualizes the events in the past up to now#like that time Will suggested they go to the hospital in s3 only for the flayed to be waiting for them#or how flayed Billy knew they were at the cabin…#all while Will was looking cryptic as hell in that scene watching over el#or the fact that he picked Billy in the first place the season after he focused on Will…#you know.. williams#I think the easiest way to introduce the castle Byers flashback is a dream honestly#specifically a dream within a dream#seeing that recent leak and Will looking like either he has a black or hasn’t slept in days#is giving very much ‘I am afraid to sleep bc I’m scared of what will happen’#I think dude is not exactly possessed in the sense that we already saw in s2 with like the particicles#but he’s still vulnerable#the door is still ajar…#no but fr this idea of opening a door in your mind was so blatant in st2 AND s3b of teen wolf#I think a big part of it will be guilting Will over the fact that Will has helped him before without Will telling the others#hence his weird vibe in s3… like he’s already successfully fucked with Will post s2 potentially with us being none the wiser aka here we go
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are ppl still talking about chubby adam?? anyway here's a bunch of adams wearing shirts I owned in 2004
(closeups and shirtless pic under the cut)
#and a totally unrelated thing on the bottom don tworry abt that...#adam faulkner stanheight#saw#saw fanart#saw art#saw franchise#adam stanheight#adam#lol Hi saw fandom ive missed u <3#rising from the dead to post chubby adam content (aka the only thing that got me thru my last show)#but my season is Finally over and i am Cranking shit out rn so Stay Tuned#the hottopic one was what inspired this- i asked a friend 'what should i draw this 2004 twink in?'#they said 'idk- what did You wear in 2004?' ...'mostly shirts from hot topic tbh..' and so here we are#olly art
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#lana del rey#im just a girl#just girly things#girl crush#girlcore#girlblogging#daddy's good girl#sapphic#sapphism#sappho#3d f4st#only f4ns#bulim14#bulimima#ed but not ed sheeran#tw ed ana#tw ana bløg#tw ana rant#tw 3d vent#coquette aesthetic#coquette dollete#coquette#just girly posts#just girly thoughts#i just want to be thin#girlhood#this is what makes us girls#lana del ray aesthetic#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#lana unreleased
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nothing ever excites me more than a spontaneous genshin, or more particularly, mondstadt discovery. i sat diluc upon the barbatos statue as a nice spot to go afk on without being interrupted by repetitive idle animations and voicelines (sorry diluc, this is nothing personal). my volume was turned up more than regularly by accident, and my in-game music was off despite how much i like the original game soundtrack. aNYHOW- i was about to go afk when i heard some strange noises that i didn't recall hearing in mondt before. it made me pause and turn my volume up even more. in the video above, it's kind of hard to discern the brief sounds over the noise of the wind up on the statue and in mondstadt in general, but when the wind dies down a little, you can distinctly hear voices of people, and what shocked me the most – neighs of horses. i have no clue whether it is just me discovering this only now, after 4 years of playing this godforsaken game and clearly not having paid enough attention to mondstadt's sfx before, but i still felt the need to share this terribly interesting tidbit in case there's other clueless mondstadt enthusiasts like me.
#what makes me so curious about these sfx is my inability to discern the meaning behind them#the sounds in the clip can only be heard during the night‚ which inserts various questions into my head#first and foremost‚ the sounds obviously confirm the existence of horses in mondstadt. the horses that AREN'T THERE in the current timeline#the horses that PHYSICALLY have no space for them within the city‚ but that's a problem of a different kind that i want to touch upon later#what makes their situation even more curious is that they're only heard during the night‚ with no trace of them during the day#so‚ my question is – surely they wouldn't add this specific sound if they didn't plan on introducing the horses in-game at some point?#even if there was no mentions of horses in genshin whatsoever‚ except in the manga which is set prior to the game's events#aka the timeline before the beginning or during the early stages of varka's expedition considering seamus's presence in mondstadt#and if that is so‚ is the peculiar activity of horses only at night a result of them being out of the city alongside the kof during the day#next curious thing to me are the voices and shouts‚ most likely in chinese‚ that i cannot discern and that i found nothing about online yet#however‚ in my opinion‚ the shouts seem too loud for the peaceful‚ post-stormterror crisis atmosphere of mondstadt#most of the words sound as if they're spoken through a megaphone‚ repeatedly‚ like call-outs to something or somebody#and not at all like shouts of people‚ regular citizens‚ from within their homes‚ or those of random drunkards on the streets at night#during daytime‚ the chatter is more coherent and distinctly chinese‚ words they clearly didn't bother translating to other voice-overs#another random and interesting sound is of something akin to a bell chiming‚ and i don't mean the big church bell tolling like in the clip#i am eager for feedback on this‚ for any sort of help or translation to sate my curiosity#and i'm also very much open to ideas or even random interpretations as i am overflowing with them‚ too#mondstadt#old mondstadt#genshin impact#genshin brainrot#genshin headcanon#genshin ost#genshin help#wilhelminaesque
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and they were singin', bye-bye Miss American Pie // american oldie i think kuwabara unironically listens to
(low effort lyric edit im queueing here in May cos im probably gonna forget it exists otherwise)
#qeued post#for June cos hey pride#the idea of kuwa seeing his friends in a holy almost godly light namely yusuke#and having them all leave unexpectedly#cos before that night at Genkai's i feel like it was solidified in kuwa's brain DESPITE the sidekick complex#DESPITE the fact that he's human and the least powerful member they are still decidedly a team#A team he has a place on. But then all suddenly springing this... YUSUKE springing this departure on him. shatters that belief#yusuke says he'll be back and it seems to make things better but even so kuwabara's face still looks so solemn when he leaves#Likely cos he knows yusuke is just saying shit and doesn't even know if it's possible to come back#this wasn't supposed to be a kuwameshi post it's really not but there's always that undertone when i talk about them so#He just admires them all so much yusuke above all others only to be left behind and that's gotta fuckin hurt#The way we don't see the resolution to this feeling. The lack of belonging the abandonment#next time we see him he's just supposed to be over it but we don't really know if it actually happened#So I like to play with the idea of like . Did he really like healthily accept things or#did he just repress it and deal. Cos like eng dub he tells yusuke ''forget all that stuff I said'' immediately taking back#his harsh words bc it's either stay mad stay upset or quickly forgive and move on cos this could be the last time. or even the jdub#where he doesn't even allow the vulnerability to show enough to trail off he just spouts the normal shit bc it's what they DO he immediatel#tries to get back to the normal dynamic and push himself to being fine with it right now bc he doesn't have the luxury of being upset#when it doesn't matter cos yusuke's leaving. the last thing he hears from him shouldnt be reckless shit he was saying when he lashed out#aka i dont think kuwa's feelings get seriously addressed enough and this episode haunts me cos of that very fact#Im not making any sense. Nico as my witness I swear I was more eloquent yapping to him about it#kuwabara kazuma#yu yu hakusho#kuwameshi
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whatever happened to the sanctity of Making Your Own Post
#person in the notes of my not sad about am34 captaincy not happy about jt91 giving it up but A Secret Third Thing going#'AHEM sidcros is the only superstar of a team who Should Be Captain'#like. first off you only think that because he's been captain for 20 years#second off ALEX OVECHKIN HAS BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME#i would say does connor mcdavid mean nothing to you but it's implied by the phrasing of their response he obviously doesn't...#ok im just being a bitch now. what about steve yzerman aka sidcros' idol#...wayne gretzky...?#making this nonrbable because i Am complaining for no reason. also mutuals are allowed to have bad opinions under my posts yr the exception
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The official Mclaren account adding fuel to the fire... disgusting
#oscar's one of my faves but im so done with the team#the last thing this needs is the official f1 team instigating more shit#I gave lando a pass cuz he's fuelled up aft the race (+ yk how dumb f1 media qns can be) but the team is being so obnoxious#friendly reminder who was alonso's engineer in 2010 🙄#who said the dumbest things aft the race whr alonso lost the wdc#max verstappen#lando norris#austrian gp 2024#mclaren#aka#clowns#don't even try to compare it to rbr knives meme post#rbr is poking fun at themselves (rightfully so- this mclaren post only goes on to prove their pt)#while mclaren is still trying blow the incident out of proportion#be so fr it wasn't even the worst incident in that race#compared to previous instances at T3 there was a lot more room#we see contact in races all the time it was just that this time both cars unfortunately came away with a puncture#the irony of being a racing team yet encouraging a smear campaign the moment some actual racing happens#both were going at it be so fr#max alr got penalised MOVE ON
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22.03.23, wednesday
took the start of this week way too chill because “I have plenty of time for the end of the week deadlines” and then today realised that it is in fact the middle of the week and I gotta hurry tf up now
#I always do this#deadlines on sunday so on monday I feel like I'm organized and on top of things and then tuesday also suddenly goes for like mentally#preparing and focusing on things I've neglected during the last week's school work catch up (aka cleaning etc) and then I once again have#just a few days to get a week's worth of stuff done so I have to catch up again and so im tired of things on monday again#and so the cycle continues lol#also im aware I have like almost identical pic posted here before but like only so many different types of pictures u can take of one desk#studyblr#study#studyspo#aesthetic#aes#dark academia#chaotic academia#march 2023#2023
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I'm gonna be honest with you guys, the urge to do the same thing I did with the oitd silhouettes, aka slap text posts onto the art with no knowledge of their canon personality other than what they did in the trailer and pulling from the fandom's perceived personality for them, for the new oxventure characters revealed in that trailer is so real
#and there was only reactions in the trailer#willowfine seems sweet and nice#robin kinda gives off pathetic boyfail to me (in a similar way to dob's pathetic boyfail energy) while also hiding something#lug's character art makes me think he's kinda cautious fsr#but Mike just smiling in the trailer makes me think he's pretty happy-go-lucky like Egbert#tho that could just be him talking with the team about a silly thing he's doing or during his character introduction in the actual episode#I have a similar situation with cressida#cressida's character art seems kinda annoyed and thinks she's above people like Prudence did#however Ellen seems scared or at least shocked or worried so cressida might actually be caring and kind like Ellen's other characters#then we have our new resident goth: happen#I kinda get the vibe that he's a more silent character that gets the job done quickly#like ice bear#but also maybe struggles with emotional connections#even if I'm wrong in my vibe guessing I'm sure I'll like them#I'm already slapping aroace headcanons on some of them#them being happen lug and willowfine#maybe cressida too#actually if I think too much about it I'm just gonna slap aroace headcanons on all of them#so they're all aroace unless I'm proven otherwise aka if I think another headcanon fits better#not a text post#this was gonna be a delete later but a lot of my thoughts are in the tags now#oxventure
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since nanowrimo decided to fuck us all over ive been referring to this writing month as writevember.
😤 wips pls cooperate with me so i can finish some of y'all im begging
#fics im planning to work on this month:#i. aidk 17 days -> hopefully ill start posting on 10th? this is the only thing ill be posting this nov#(everything else!!! im just gonna write!!! aka no posting)#till im done :“)#ii. “two birds” [stottlemonk] -> post-Linda fic. stottlemonk trying to make up.#iii. “build a better sail” [aideku] -> and they were co-workers au :3c!#iv. “trailing vine of the meeting hill” [kakuhida] -> this was supposed to be for kakuhida week but i failed lol... anyway. it's basically +#+ a reunion au. wont spoil much there#v. “rage and twist and tongue” [askefinn] -> king! askeladd x slave! thorfinn#vi. “the centre‚ the whole and perhaps unbind” [winterbaron] -> the storm before the calm. zemo goes missing#am i insane. yes.#tag: seis.tho(ugh)ts
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