#(a few people read it and left some very kind comments on it and i appreciate them greatly)
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
corvidcall · 2 months ago
Note
Tell me about your WIP :>
my WIP?? ah, you must mean THE ALBATROSS AROUND MY NECK
do you want an extremely long fanfic for a 15 year old free browser game? do you want a fic thats mostly focused on OCs, that only depicts two fan-favorite factions to talk about how they're evil? do you like fics that inexplicably have a lot of discussions about communist theory? not actually THAT much but like... wayyy more than you would have expected in a fanfic, and it's brought up inelegantly every single time??
well... that's weird. why do you want that?? your life will not be easy. that being said, perhaps you can enjoy The Book of Red Murder, my Fallen London fanfic that has been on a "short hiatus" for over a year because i wrote too hard and now every time i open Scrivener i have a panic attack!!! at 82k words, it is MAYBE 60% done. will it ever be 100% complete? its funny you should ask that!!! (gets real cozy in bed and goes to sleep)
3 notes · View notes
emberwhite · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media
I spent the last 11 months working with my illustrator, Marta, to make the children's book of my dreams. We were able to get every detail just the way I wanted, and I'm very happy with the final result. She is the best person I have ever worked with, and I mean, just look at those colors!
Tumblr media
I wanted to tell that story of anyone's who ever felt that they didn't belong anywhere. Whether you are a nerd, autistic, queer, trans, a furry, or some combination of the above, it makes for a sad and difficult life. This isn't just my story. This is our story.
Tumblr media
I also want to say the month following the book's launch has been very stressful. I have never done this kind of book before, and I didn't know how to get the word out about it. I do have a small publishing business and a full-time job, so I figured let's put my some money into advertising this time. Indie writers will tell you great success stories they've had using Facebook ads, so I started a page and boosting my posts.
Within a first few days, I got a lot of likes and shares and even a few people who requested the book and left great reviews for me. There were also people memeing on how the boy turns into a delicious venison steak at the end of the book. It was all in good fun, though. It honestly made made laugh. Things were great, so I made more posts and increased spending.
Tumblr media
But somehow, someway these new posts ended up on the wrong side of the platform. Soon, we saw claims of how the book was perpetuating mental illness, of how this book goes against all of basic biology and logic, and how the lgbtq agenda was corrupting our kids.
Tumblr media
This brought out even more people to support the book, so I just let them at it and enjoyed my time reading comments after work. A few days later, then conversation moved from politics to encouraging bullying, accusing others of abusing children, and a competition to who could post the most cruel image. They were just comments, however, and after all, people were still supporting the book.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
But then the trolls started organizing. Over night, I got hit with 3 one-star reviews on Amazon. My heart stopped. If your book ever falls below a certain rating, it can be removed, and blocked, and you can receive a strike on your publishing account. All that hard work was about to be deleted, and it was all my fault for posting it in the wrong place.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I panicked, pulled all my posts, and went into hiding, hoping things would die down. I reported the reviews and so did many others, but here's the thing you might have noticed across platforms like Google and Amazon. There are community guidelines that I referenced in my email, but unless people are doing something highly illegal, things are rarely ever taken down on these massive platforms. So those reviews are still there to this day. Once again, it's my fault, and I should have seen it coming.
Luckily, the harassment stopped, and the book is doing better now, at least in the US. The overall rating is still rickety in Europe, Canada, and Australia, so any reviews there help me out quite a lot. I'm currently looking for a new home to post about the book and talk about everything that went into it. I also love to talk about all things books if you ever want to chat. Maybe I'll post a selfie one day, too. Otherwise, the book is still on Amazon, and the full story and illustrations are on YouTube as well if you want to read it for free.
3K notes · View notes
wriokitty · 15 days ago
Text
like a lotus in spring, you are mine to bloom — ft. alhaitham
Tumblr media
synopsis: at twenty one, you’re just a girl he meets as he trains for the role of scribe. at twenty four, you’ve become everything he loves in this world. after three years of knowing you and nearly two and a half decades of life, alhaitham finally realizes why his father left letters for his mother instead of just saying the words outloud
Tumblr media Tumblr media
❤︎ word count: 7.7k words — we find ourselves here in the same old situation again, i see LOL pls give it a chance though!! plssss
❤︎ before you read: female reader ; 18+ content — not suitable for minors ; not proof read ; strangers to friends to lovers ; mutual pining but not at the same time for a bit (he falls first <3) ; jealous alhaitham ; hinted drunk sex ; getting together + love confessions ; alhaitham character story spoilers + references to his grandmother and parents ; semi-clothed unprotected sex ; no prep ; some nipple play ; creampie ; the cringiest love letter at the end LOL
❤︎ comments: guys every time i write alhaitham it’s so corny and cheesy but . he is my fav genshin guy of all time i deserve to be allowed this okay
Tumblr media
TWENTY ONE. 
You’re still a student when you first meet Alhaitham. (Not a student for much longer, but a student all the same. With a little luck on your side and good graces from your darshan’s sage on your thesis, you’re expected to graduate in just a few short months.)
You don’t have the best first meet. In fact, your impression of Alhaitham starts off entirely on the wrong foot. 
He’s newly graduated, just freshly rewarded a degree for his (impressive) efforts, and is now well on his way to training for the role of scribe—you heard he was offered far more prestigious roles, but for some reason, a genius like him settled for a role like that. You try not to judge. People have their passions, after all, and if that’s what he wants to do, well…who are you to make comments? (But amongst a school that only houses the brilliant, Alhaitham is, very undoubtedly, a standout. It’s hard to stand out in a school filled with only the best minds, but he manages to do so with ease. Sometimes, you’re almost jealous. You can’t help but wonder why he doesn’t aim a little higher than he does.)
He trains in the house of Daena. His first order of training is to fact-check ordinance drafts using books so he can better get the hang of drafting them himself in the future. You’re also in the House of Daena to find the last book for your thesis—after weeks of begging, you’re finally granted access to the restricted section to find it. 
And you do. Except your palm meets warm skin instead of the cold leather cover of a book. You pause, glancing up as sharp, teal eyes meet your gaze, staring at you expectantly as if you should be the one letting go. But you need this book. It’s the final research element to finish your thesis, and you’d like to be done with it. End of story. No matter how devastatingly handsome the man (because he is handsome, you’ll admit at least that much), you will not be handing over the last, final key to your academic freedom.
“Um, excuse me,” you say politely, “I was kind of reaching for that.”
“As was I,” he says, staring at you with a bored, almost uncaring expression. Your eyes narrow. “Now, if you’d please kindly take your hand off of mine.”
“I believe it should be you taking your hand off of mine,” you correct, huffing as you add stubbornly, “I reached for it first.”
He blinks at you, bland and a little irritated, as he points out, “Your hand is on top of mine, which means I reached the book first.”
Well.
Maybe if you were feeling particularly patient, you’d be inclined to admit that, yes, he does have a point. But stubbornness, combined with pure exhaustion, has you at your wit's end, and if you have to play the role of a difficult student, then so be it. You’re pretty sure you need it more, and you’re probably a much speedier reader anyway. You’ll have it done and returned in no time.
This guy, on the other hand…he doesn’t look too bright. You’re not willing to take your chances and let him walk off with a book that you might never see again.
“I started reaching for it first,” you scowl, “you just sped up your hand once you saw me. I should get it.”
“Unlikely,” he scoffs, “I didn’t even see you. Although,” he gives you a once over with his eyes, making you feel uncomfortably seen under his judging gaze, “I suppose you were a bit easy to miss.”
You gape at him. “Just what does that mean?”
“It means,” he smirks, taking the opportunity to grab the book as you stand in shock, “that I got here first.”
“Hey!” You glare at him, seeing red for a moment. What a perfectly good waste of a perfectly handsome face—and such an awful attitude coupled with his ridiculously smug grin couldn’t make for a worse combination. But, before you can even say anything, the book is being pressed back into your hands.
“You seem like you want it more than I do, though,” he hums, “I suppose I can let you have it. It’s a bit outdated for this ordinance, anyway.” With that, he saunters off. You push down the soft flutter in your heart for a moment and force yourself to hope you’ll never see him again. (Faintly, you hope your wishes don’t come true—but you refuse to admit it to yourself.)
Unfortunately (and fortunately at the same time) for you, you do see him again. Many, many times, in fact. When he works in the House of Daena as often as he does, and you like to spend all your free time there to study if you can, you’re both bound to run into each other often. Very often. 
And sometimes, it’s quite literally running into him. 
“Oof,” you hiss, staggering backward and hitting your head against the bookshelf behind you as you bump into a sturdy figure. You drop the books in your hand, blinking before reaching to rub your read as you start to apologize. “Sorry, I didn’t see you—oh. It’s you.”
“It’s me,” he says, looking mildly entertained. Alhaitham is everywhere. Everywhere. You can’t escape him if you try, and now, you can’t even avoid him in your own personal space. “Although, I think I should be the one apologizing this time. I was too busy reading to pay attention. This section is usually empty at this time.”
“How often are you in here to know what section is empty at what time?” You raise a brow. 
“Too often to be considered good for my well-being,” he says dryly, sighing in misery. You crack a smile at that. Oddly enough, so does he—you don’t think you’ve ever heard someone say they’ve seen Alhaitham smile. It must be a rare sight that only you, and perhaps a very few others, can say they’ve witnessed. “I was just about to take a break to buy a coffee—I’ll bring one back for you, too, to make up for the cranial damage I’ve supplied.”
“A most wonderful idea,” you perk up instantly, “I love when I get to drain the wallet of a man.”
He gives you an amused look at that. And somehow, bringing you a coffee along with his own during his breaks is a habit that seems to stick for a long, long while after that. 
────────────────────────
TWENTY TWO.
Alhaitham’s feelings are hurt. Not a lot of words tend to do that—he’s been blessed with thick skin and an unbothered attitude to a fault, sometimes. But something about today, for some odd reason, hurts his feelings. 
Your words to the waiter who took your order keep ringing in his head. 
Oh goodness, no, we are definitely not dating!
Most people mistake you and Alhaitham for a pair of lovers rather than a pair of friends. It’s just the way things go when a man and a woman are seen together for extended periods of time over and over. It doesn’t help that Alhaitham doesn’t really have any friends. He had one before you, but…well, things are complicated now. Far too complicated to think about it more than necessary. He has you, and that’s enough. But the matter still stands that most people tend to assume that something blossoms between the two of you that isn’t just friendly. 
He was starting to think it was true himself, too. He knows it’s true from his end, at least. But you say those words with such a sure, definitive tone that it almost sounds like you’re offended by the notion of being seen as his girlfriend. And sure, he would be disappointed—he’s no liar—if you didn’t feel romantically for him, but he’d understand. It’s not something you can help. But you brush off the idea like it’s an anomaly of sorts in the universe for someone like you and someone like Alhaitham to be a couple. It hurts his feelings. More than it should. 
(He knows deep down, in the depths of his heart, that you don’t mean it that way. You never would. But irrationality is but one of many feelings that bloom when it comes to romance.)
Alhaitham knows from a young age he’s different than most kids his age. This fact doesn’t change as he gets older. He’s brighter than most of his peers—which is certainly saying something because Sumeru is a nation filled with enough sharp minds, it’s as though brilliance were the average trait. People don’t typically like Alhaitham (which is fine by him, he doesn’t like most of them, either. They mostly don’t meet his standards). The kids don’t play with him in the parks that Grandmother would leave him at while she shopped around at the market, and they don’t sit with him on his one and only day at the Akademiya when he is but an elementary scholar. It never bothered him. He preferred reading under the trees and self-learning at home, anyway. When he’s older and enrolled in the Akademiya full-time, they don’t prefer to partner with him for projects for any other reason than simply being guaranteed a good grade, and they don’t spare him a glance when they all converse in groups outside of class. He never cared for freeloaders, anyway—he only trusts himself for projects, and he is at the Akademiya to learn, not make friends. 
It’s not until he meets Kaveh does he consider the idea that friendships are meaningful enough to spare some effort into. But the end result of that only solidifies that he is best when in solitude. 
But then he meets you. Some part of Alhaitham knows very early on that you would never be just a friend to him. If it was friendship that he craved, he would have looked for it elsewhere before running into you. Something about you from the very beginning makes him yearn for things much deeper than that. Things that remind him of his parents. 
Friendship is fleeting. People at the Akademiya go their separate ways and meet new people. They fall out and have arguments. They grow up and grow apart and become different. But love blooms like the Kalpalata lotuses on a vine, timeless as time itself. It starts and never ends, one root stemming into more and more vines until they never stop growing.
Alhaitham has fallen in love with you. Logic tells him it’s only a recent development, but his heart has known this outcome would be brought about for a long, long time. And, in all truthfulness, your words have hurt his feelings. 
And yet, he still loves you through it. He thinks that even if you crushed his feelings with a cold, indifferent smile, he would still love you through it. 
A hand waves in front of his face, pulling him from his thoughts as you take a sip from your coffee. Puspa Cafe is not as busy at this hour, most people are in the middle of a work day, but Alhaitham is allowed to pick his lunch hour, and yours happens to be earlier than most.
“Sorry, I just have to ask—are…are you upset?” you ask gently, making him pause. 
Yes.
“No,” he says simply, “why would I be?”
“You seem upset.”
“I’m not.”
“You were fine up until…I don’t know, a few minutes ago. Is something on your mind?”
You know him so well, he thinks. How could you not see how perfect the two of you are together?
“I’m simply concerned about your sugar intake is all,” he eyes the cold, iced drink in your hands with more syrups than he deems necessary. You always have a penchant for choosing the sweetest drink off the menu, and Alhaitham will never understand how your teeth don’t rot.
“Well, that’s very funny,” you roll your eyes, “because I was just thinking about how low on vitamin D you must be—do you ever leave your study to see the sun?”
He spares you a soft chuckle at that, shaking his head before taking a sip of his own coffee—hot and black and with two spoons of sugar. Simple, like how he prefers. You make a face at his drink as he sets it down. 
“Have you ever thought about what you look for in a partner?” he asks suddenly, making you blink in shock for a moment. He flinches at his own forwardness just a tad. 
“Umm, I suppose a little here and there…why do you ask?”
“No reason,” he shrugs, “just curious what your type was, that’s all. You’re painfully single, so I figured your taste was rather distinct.”
“Rude,” you scoff, rolling your eyes enough that he thinks it’s safe to assume you’re not suspicious. “Are you here just to poke fun at my choices today?”
Alhaitham should not be asking you this. Not when the answer so clearly is going to hurt his already very bruised feelings. Of course, your type won’t be him. And, of course, he is going to mourn your answer the second you give it, which is his own fault considering he’s the one who asked. (He has to wonder, for a moment, if this constitutes as an undiscovered hidden kink of his and whether or not he really just gets off on some unnecessary pain. Why else would he willingly subject himself to this?)
But, he’s caught off guard when you shrug and simply say, “I suppose someone who’s intelligent. I’d appreciate some good discussions. And…and maybe someone who’s kind, y’know? I would be rather sad if they were mean,” you pretend to sniffle dramatically.
“That’s…that’s it?” He tilts his head in equal parts shock and equal parts confusion. 
“What did you expect me to look for in a partner?” You snort, “A three-story mansion? A rock-solid, chiseled chest to lay on?” 
“Well, no,” he rolls his eyes, “Maybe something a bit less generic to narrow down your pool, I suppose, but if that’s your bar, so be it. There are far too many men who are intelligent and kind, you know.”
“Yes, but none of them show me any signs of interest,” you pout, “I must be undesirable or something.”
I desire you, he wants to say. He can’t quite find the courage to get the words out, though—and as if the universe has it completely out for him, the same waiter from earlier who is responsible for asking you the question that kills Alhaitham’s mood for the day comes back with the bill. And something else, too. 
Something that kills his mood for the week. 
His jaw clenches a tad when you flush at the note scribbled on a napkin for you, eyeing your flustered reaction while you read over the words: I get off at eight if you’d like to find me. You stare for a moment before you murmur, “Well, look at that. A sign of interest—it must be the Dendro Archon’s divine power.”
“The Divine have no say over who you fall for,” he insists.
“You don’t know that,” you hum thoughtfully, “The God of Wisdom knows her people better than anyone else, you know. I’d like to think she knows when love is bound for two people.”
You fold the napkin carefully and keep it in your pocket, and Alhaitham fishes out his mora pouch with stiff fingers. He leaves a very shoddy tip on the table before he exits after you. 
────────────────────────
TWENTY THREE.
You wake up in his bed. 
It’s a foggy memory, but you know you fucked Alhaitham after more sips of wine than you can count and one flirty comment too many. It happened in a blur last night, and you can’t say you’re surprised that it finally happened at all. Alhaitham is a man just like any other, and mingling pleasure with friendship is a normal thing to do. Falling under him on his mattress is not something you never had daydreams of—but the truth of the matter is that your daydreams don’t just stop with the bed.
They end with a toothbrush beside his in the bathroom. A mug next to his in the kitchen. Your shoes kicked off along with his at the entrance of a home. Your laughter and his bouncing off of the walls. A ring, maybe. One on your hand and one on his. 
In your imagination, it starts with pleasure, but it ends with love.
Falling in love with Alhaitham is a peaceful ordeal. He’s dependable and inherently kind. Strong and impressively capable. Intelligent and objectively handsome. You’d bring him home to your mother and father, and they’d thank Lord Kusanali for smiling down upon their humble little family and their darling little daughter by sending such a divine man your way. 
You don’t think you can pinpoint when exactly it is you started to love this boy, but you know loving him became as simple as breathing. You never thought about it. Never learned to do it. Never questioned it, even. You inhale the scent of his spicy, woody cologne and exhale the warm breath of your affections stored in your lungs. He lives somewhere nestled so deep in your ribcage that you think you’d have to crack each of them one after the other before you could pry him out.
You love Alhaitham. You think you know everything there is to know about loving him. You think you’d do it right—better than anyone else. 
He only drinks his coffee when it’s piping hot, and his wine can never be one degree less than iced. He has dry hands, but he hates the feeling of lotion. He doesn’t like raw onions but he doesn’t mind them cooked. When the sun is in his eyes, he’s in a foul mood, but he enjoys napping under the warm rays, much like a cat. He laughs surprisingly boyishly from his belly if you manage to deliver a dry yet clever enough joke, and he clears his throat and gets a bit shy once he’s realized he’s let it out. He twirls his pen in his hand when he’s bored, and he only uses the kind with gel ink because they write smoother. 
You love Alhaitham. For you, it’s always been him. 
When you wake up to his bare, warm body next to yours, breathing peacefully with an arm thrown over your waist, you can’t help but selfishly wish he’d stay asleep all day. Just for a day. Just for the amount of time you get in between the sun’s departure and the moon’s arrival. Just so you can watch him exist in this moment where it’s you, him, and the liminal space between friends and lovers. Just so you can admire how beautiful he is without worrying about his eyes opening and the inevitable conversation of what you’re both doing is brought up. 
People (like Kaveh, or Dehya, or Tighnari, or…anyone) tend to insist that Alhaitham loves you. It’s obvious, they say, just as obvious as your love for him. You never believe it. It’s not because he’s bad at love or because you’re bad for him. You think he’d make a good lover—contrary to popular belief, you don’t think Alhaitham is uninterested in intimacy or affection. And you think you’d make a good girlfriend—unlike other people, you understand him and like what you see. 
But he doesn’t love you. That much is a fact you’ve long accepted. It’s not because you’re bad for him or because he’s incapable of feeling—but rather, it’s just that bitter, soul-crushing reality that you can’t help who you love and who you don’t. Alhaitham doesn’t love you—it’s not something either of you can really change. Because if he did, he’d waste no time. He’d get to the heart of the matter and quit dancing around the issue. 
It’s just the kind of guy that he is. 
So, because this is your first and likely last time seeing him this way, you slowly reach over and brush a few strands of messy, unruly bedhead from his forehead before cupping his cheek in your hand. His skin is soft and warm under your palm, much more delicate to the touch than you anticipated from how chiseled his features are. Your thumb gently brushes along the slant of his cheekbone, eyes softening at how he lets out a puff of air as he sleeps. 
“Morning,” he says hoarsely, eyes still closed and making you jolt in surprise. He lets out a quiet, sleepy chuckle that would make you melt if not for the way your heart still pounds from the shock. 
“You’re awake?”
“Mhm,” he hums, nodding before finally cracking an eye open. “For a while now.”
“Why pretend to sleep then, you creep?” You scoff, glaring at him as he sits up slightly and glances at you with a teasing glint in his eyes. No part of him seems to be shocked about you being nude in his bed. Or the fact that you’re even in his bed at all, nude or not. 
“You’re the creep if we’re being technical here. It’s undoubtedly a little on the creepy side to study someone with such careful touches while they sleep.”
“That’s your main concern…?” You stare at him—and for lack of better words, you’re dumbfounded. You and Alhaitham have been friends for two years and counting. You’ve never once crossed the line or even toed at it to step beyond the border of anything more. And, yet, here you are. In his bed. Completely nude. He was lying there and felt your delicate touch along his skin, felt you act like a lover and not a friend on a quiet, intimate morning when in fact, you both should be shamefully avoiding each other’s eyes in a moment that’s anything but intimate as you leave. 
He makes no move to ask you to leave or even question why you’re still here. You make no move to really leave—it’s not like you want to. 
“What should my main concern be, then?” he looks at you expectantly, like he really doesn’t know.
“Oh, I don’t know, Alhaitham—shouldn’t you be a little more panicked by the idea that I’ve trespassed into your bed and seen you…bare?”
“Well, to be fair, you didn’t trespass. I let you in—and also, to be fair, I saw the same for you, too, so we’re even.”
“You’re oddly calm about this,” you hiss. “This doesn’t bother you even a little? That things might change?”
He looks at you funny—like you’ve just told him a joke that hardly makes sense but makes him want to laugh anyway. “You’re too brilliant to be this dense,” he murmurs. “Maybe I’m quite open to the idea of change.”
You take offense to the first part enough to completely miss the second part of his statement. 
“I am not dense,” you huff, “I’m incredibly bright. I’ll have to send you my thesis sometime.”
“No need,” he responds through a low hum. He pulls you closer, flush against his chest. Bare skin on skin. Intimate skin, at that. You shiver for a moment as his warm, large hand wanders lower and lower before stopping just at the small of your back, rubbing slow circles at the dimple where your spine ends. “I’ve read it plenty of times. It was very insightful.”
“Well, in that case, you should know not to insult my intelligence—”
“If you don’t notice my affection for you, I’m afraid you might not be as observant as I initially thought.”
You pause. Your heart flutters. Then it feels like it decays. Your eyes widen a fraction. Then they feel like they need to be squeezed shut for fear of tears. You feel your fingers twitch to reach for him. And yet they stiffen in distrust. 
“I don’t know what you’re saying,” you whisper. Because you don’t.
You really fucking don’t. You thought you knew. His feelings and how to read them. His thoughts and how his mind works. Every little quirk of his and how he approaches every damn thing in this world. You thought you knew.
Now you feel like you don’t know much of anything, especially not what he means right in this moment. 
“You don’t?” He whispers, hand moving to grab your wrist and bring it to his cheek so his lips can brush along the delicate lines of your palm prints. (If he was brave, he’d tell you that his destiny and yours are written in those very lines. Maybe someday he’ll build the courage.)
“No,” you say through a shaky whisper. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I love you. Just like you love me.” He says it so plainly, that you almost feel like it's a dry, cruel joke. (You know him a little better than that, though, to know he’d never.)
“How do you know I love you?” you challenge just because it’s all you have left to cling to—easy, instant denial. 
He laughs. Soft. Quiet. Melodic. So fucking sweet. “I’m too smart to act dense,” Alhaitham teases. And then, for a moment, his eyes soften enough that they almost look vulnerable. “And only someone who loves me could deal with my… peculiarities. Though, I will admit, it took me quite a while to reach this conclusion. You made me work for it.”
“If you’ve known all along—” 
“Not all along,” he corrects, “like I said, it took me a while to come to this conclusion. But once I did, it was rather obvious.”
You scowl with a finger prodding into his chest, eyes misty with relief and the faintest traces of agitation, “Well, regardless, why haven’t you said something all this time? Obviously, I wasn’t as aware as you seem to be, so the least you could have done is spared me the pining and heartbreak of wondering if you’d ever look at me—”
“I wanted to make sure I could offer you a peaceful life first,” he says gently. You blink. He smiles, eyeing something in the distance—you don’t quite catch it, but you think it might be the old, worn-out stack of envelopes sitting on his desk. 
“What?”
“When you’re with me,” he whispers, leaning in so that his lips brush over yours, “I can lead a peaceful life. I wanted to make sure I could give you the same.”
“And what does that consist of?” you raise a brow. 
“Well,” he murmurs, pecking the corner of your mouth, “A stable job with a generous income, which I now have. A fixed schedule, which I have also negotiated. A proper home to house the both of us, which you are comfortably laying in. And…” he grabs your hand, bringing it to his chest where his heart is beating erratically, “A rock-solid, chiseled chest to lay on, which I have dedicatedly worked to add to my physique for you.”
“Haitham!” you squeal, shoving him away with a horrified shriek as he laughs with a wide grin. You don’t even know why he still remembers that comment to poke fun at it, but you suppose that is the tragedy of falling for a prodigious scholar. His mind is sharp. And so is his memory. “Enough!”
“Okay, okay,” he grins smugly. “I want us to lead a peaceful life.”
“There’s not a lot of peace I am counting on with you.”
“I will elect to ignore that statement,” he says dryly, “But that’s why I waited this long,” he buries his face into your neck, nose pressing into the skin as he inhales, “I’m afraid I can’t wait any longer, though. Won’t you accept my frugal attempt at a serene life with you?”
“Perhaps I can make do,” you fight back a stupid grin.
He smiles into your neck. You can feel it. You can practically see it. You hope you’ll grow old with it, too. 
“Then I suppose I’m forever indebted to your graciousness, my love.”
────────────────────────
TWENTY FOUR.
When Alhaitham was eight, Grandmother told him the story of how his parents had fallen in love. It was a typical love story, he thought at the time—nothing overly special or unique. A simple, sweet bond between two people who became friends and something more along the way.
What stood out were the letters. Not very much at first, but with time, he’d realized how special they were. 
Grandmother handed him the letters with a soft, melancholy look in her eyes that made him realize he hadn’t just lost his father and mother. She had lost her son and daughter-in-law. Alhaitham felt the absence of his parents often. It was hard not to at that age—he didn’t have a father to throw a ball to or tag along with to the market. He didn’t have a mother to hum him a melody or make his favorite dish for dinner. But Grandmother filled the gaps in those places well enough that even if his heart bled, not too much blood spilled between the cracks.
But he was no son. Not a proper one for her at her age, anyway. She raised him like he was her own, but she grew older every day, and he didn’t grow fast enough to keep up. He couldn’t take care of her in her old age the way his father would have. He couldn’t do much besides bring the vegetables for her to cut or set the table while she cooked. He couldn’t offer her the mora when she went to the market or carry too many of the heavy bags while they walked home. He couldn’t let her rest in her old age too much because, regardless of how mature and bright he was for his age, Alhaitham was just a child. Her child, nonetheless—Grandmother didn’t let him forget that fact. But a child.
When she died, he arranged the funeral alone. He didn’t cry throughout the whole ordeal. Her old colleagues from way back in her Akademiya days came, as did some of his parents’ old acquaintances. No one he knew too familiarly, though—no one who really mattered when they clasped his shoulder and told him to hang in there.
She was a good woman. He knew that already.
She was very intelligent. A very obvious fact.
She was exceptionally kind. A rather unsurprising observation.
She loved very deeply. Well. That one stung—as true as it might have been.
He remembers it so vividly still. How he had walked home alone after it all. How he had taken off his tie (a very poorly tied tie, at that—Grandmother had always helped him before) and silently entered his room.
It wasn’t until he had eyed his desk that finally, it all sank in. The notes—the ones his father had so carefully written his mother while they were still just starting to fall in love, sat there as if waiting for him. He read them one by one, just like he had so many times before. He didn’t realize he’d started crying until a rivulet of his sorrow landed from his cheek to the page, staining the paper a darker shade of heartache. 
Alone. 
That’s all Alhaitham had ever been since the tender age of four. At least, that’s what people had always thought—but he’d never felt the sorrow people tended to feel for him. Not having a father and mother was okay. Hard at times, but okay. Grandmother had been everything he needed. More than what he needed, in fact. 
Grandmother was everything. And she had left him just the same way his parents had. He’d cried that night—alone in a house that was nothing more than just a house. Not a home, not a place where he could return to and look forward to it. Not a place where love was waiting for him to shelter him as soon as he came back from the cruel, outside world.
Grandmother was gone. Mother and father had left so long ago. But they all had each other—in whatever world they’d crossed to, they’d had each other. 
He remembers it all so vividly still. How he’d read his father’s words, and for the first time in all his life, he’d craved it. What his parents had. 
To my love, my soul, my heart. I am yours, always. 
He wondered that night, through teary and blurry eyes, if love like that would ever find him. If he’d one day be able to call someone his love, soul, and heart.
He thinks now, as you laugh with your head tilted forward and a tweezer in hand while sitting on his lap, that he can. 
“Hold still, you,” comes your teasing remark, “you said this would be nothing. Now look at you.”
“You’re being too harsh,” he grumbles, pouting slightly. With a smile, you bend your neck down and press a soft kiss to his jutted lips, humming before pressing an extra one to the corner of his mouth for good measure. (And yes, the grand sage—acting, you can almost hear him correct in your own head—can pout. He is rather frequent at curling those lips of his in your presence when he wants something, in fact. Or when he is teased too much. Something about you brings about a side of him that is much less stoic and far more dramatized.)
“You can just admit it hurts, you know,” you say through an amused snort.
“It won’t hurt if you just do it right.”
“I’m an expert at tweezing eyebrows,” you huff, “I do mine all the time. And I would know that it hurts.”
“It can’t be that painful,” he clicks his teeth, “just be gentle.”
“I cannot gently pull out a hair from your follicle, Haitham—I don’t know what you want me to—hey!”
He grabs the tweezers from your hand and pulls you close, hugging you tight enough that his nose digs into your skin a bit as he buries it into your neck. It’s Saturday. His first out of two days off for the week—standard scribe work weeks are nine to five on weekdays, and he very much appreciates his weekends away from the bustling, lively Akademiya nonsense. 
Saturday happens to be your day off, too. 
“Where is Kaveh?” you ask quietly, playing with the hem of his shirt. He raises a brow, eyeing the suspicious movement of your fingers.
“Working with a client in Aaru Village. He won’t be back until tomorrow evening. Why am I not enough company for you?”
“Oh, be quiet,” you roll your eyes, and this time, your hands wander under his shirt, palms slowly dragging along his chiseled, planed abdomen while he shivers slightly under your touch. “I was just asking if…”
“If…?” he urges you to continue.
You know he knows. But, for the sake of indulging his smug, teasing little game, you huff and push his shirt up to expose his chest before murmuring, “If we would be interrupted or not. I don’t fancy such awkward run-ins with your roommate.”
“Our roommate,” he corrects, “this is your home, too.”
“Yes,” you smile, brushing your palms over his pectorals, watching as he stiffens when you graze along his nipples, “I suppose it is.”
“Well, he’s not here. And he won’t be, so kiss me,” he demands through a breathy whisper. You do. You kiss him instantly—because kissing Alhaitham is what you do best. When he’s happy, sad, angry, distressed, or just plain tired, kissing him is how you know him the most. When your breaths exchange and your life force and his mingle to become one, singular unit. 
You sigh into his mouth, letting his hands cradle your jaw and tilt your head to better meet his mouth, all while your hands still explore his upper half. He moans under your touch, cock springing to life slowly below you through his pants. You angle your hips forward, inching higher up his lap to drag your crotch along his and help the erection grow against the friction. 
“Fuck,” he hisses, hard and heavy between his legs in no time. 
“Haitham,” you breathe, feeling that familiar ache build between your own thighs. 
You kiss him like that for a bit. Messy, deep, sloppy, and so, so slow. With all the time in the world. Languid strokes of your tongue against his as he rolls his hips up from underneath you, dragging his clothed, bulging cock against your dripping cunt. The fabric separates you, rudely so, and it’s not long until you both grow tired of it. 
“Off,” you whine, tugging at his pants, “off, off, off!”
“So demanding,” he chuckles, pecking your nose sweetly before he lifts his hips, letting you slide off his sweatpants. “Satisfied?” 
“Yes,” you beam, “You always give me what I want. It’s my favorite thing about you.”
His gaze darkens at that—not for any other reason than it makes him so incredibly filled with lust when you speak to him like that. So spoiled and happy about it because it’s him. Him. You’re happy that it’s him. And he’s happy that it’s you. 
You don’t even bother undressing yourselves fully—he pulls down your own pants just enough to expose your pretty, leaking folds, and his hands wander under your shirt, where he almost short-circuits for a moment. Braless. Because you just love to drive him mad, he thinks. This much easy access to your soft, delicate breasts and the pert nipples that decorate them is enough to make him curse under his breath as his thumbs tease over them. 
“You’re a tease.”
“For simply existing?” you gasp, making him crack a small grin. 
“Yes,” he hums, “Your existence on its own teases me at all times. I’m afraid it drives me mad.”
You hum, reaching forward to gently take his hard, leaking cock into your hand and give a light, teasing squeeze. “Maybe my goal is to turn you completely into a lost cause.”
“Then,” he groans, throwing his head back against the couch cushions while he breathes harshly, “then you’re definitely succeeding. Is that what you wished to hear?”
“Yes,” you whisper, kissing his jaw, “It is, actually.”
It doesn’t take long at all before Alhaitham has tossed you back against the couch, laughing as you shriek at the sudden change of position. You glare at him, fighting back your own chorus of giggles as he moves to hover over you, kissing and biting playfully along your cheeks. 
“I love you,” he mumbles.
“Aw, so sweet,” you coo, “say that again.”
He rolls his eyes. His lips curl into the brightest grin at the same time. My love, my soul, my heart—the words are ingrained in his memory always. “I love you.”
“And I love you,” you whisper.
He leans in for a soft, slow kiss as the tip of his leaking cock slides against your folds, tapping against your clit before rubbing along your entrance. You gasp, shuddering against him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer. 
“You know,” he murmurs, “I could get used to this.”
“Sex on the couch? We can do that any time—”
“A weekend with just the two of us,” he groans, dropping his head to your neck as you laugh loudly. Bright. Airy. A sound the wind carries to him in his subconscious. He hears you even when you’re not there—even when you aren’t around, he searches for you. 
“Oh,” you say playfully, “Yeah, I guess that’s nice too, isn’t it?”
“I’ll show you just how nice it’s about to be,” he hums. The tip of his thick, blunt head is pressed against your folds—you’re leaking just as much as he is. You slick, and his pre cum mix for a messy collision of arousal as he presses into you slowly, so carefully, you feel like you could break at any second with how he handles you. 
He’s patient. When Alhaitham fucks you, he’s patient enough that you feel like his other half and not his means of pleasure. Like he fucks you for you and not for himself. 
“More,” you insist, impatient as you add, “I can take it.”
“Patience is a virtue,” he clicks his teeth, “I want to take my time feeling you.”
And he does. He rolls his hips slowly. So slowly, you feel delirious. It’s a painful, gradual build-up of pleasure that has you trying to roll your hips into him to meet him halfway, a pathetic attempt when he’s on top of you to press his weight down on you to keep you in place. 
“Please, Haitham,” you whine, sweat shining across your sweet, pleasure-hazed face as he stares down at you, “Please more. I need it—need you. Need all of you.”
“You have all of me,” he groans, feeling the tight walls of your cunt squeeze around him, the squelching noise of his thick girth bullying into your folds in and out, in and out, in and out, driving him to the brink of insanity. “You’ve always had every piece of me.”
“I want more,” you hiss. 
He lets out a breathy laugh that turns into a soft moan. “If that’s what you want.”
The next thing you know, two strong, muscled arms are grabbing your thighs and bringing them around his torso to wrap around him, and his large hands grab your hips and pull, practically manhandling you deeper onto his cock. You shudder, letting out a shrill, high-pitched gasp as he intrudes further into your cunt, nudging the head of his cock against your sweetest of spots and making your body tremble. 
“Haitham,” you gasp, “Haitham, fuck—fuck, you feel so good. So deep—love when you fuck me like this.”
“Yeah?” he murmurs, kissing in between your pretty little scrunched-up eyebrows, “I love fucking you like this, too. When you take me so well, squeeze so tight, and let me feel you like the good girl you are.”
His words make your folds squeeze around him, and fuck—he’s close. So fucking close, the pad of his rough, callused thumb meets your clit as he rubs circles, trying to bring you to the edge before he goes plummeting himself. 
“‘M close—almost…almost there,” you pant.
“Me too, baby,” he groans. He slams into you, skin slapping against skin and the glistening sheen of it mixing your sweat together. His mouth parts with pretty, low sounds of his pleasure, and your face twists with the devastating rush of yours. 
Once. Twice. A third time, and you fall apart as he thrusts into you and presses the tip of his thick length against the spongey spot in the back of your walls. 
“Haitham,” you gasp, legs tightening around him as your nails press crescent shapes into his back. “Fuck, I’m c-cumming…oh, Gods.”
“Good,” he gasps, and with one last roll of his desperate hips, he spills into you, too. A thick, sticky, familiar rush of heat fills your cunt, ropes of cum painting you white within with every twitch of his aching cock. “Fuck—you feel so good. So perfect—you were made for me. Me.”
“You,” you whisper, breathless. 
You let him shudder over you, fingers running through his hair as he finishes releasing his load into you before he slumps his weight over your body. It’s a small couch—decorative more than functional. (All thanks to Kaveh, of course.) But you don’t particularly care when you’re under him. It feels right all the same. 
“We have the house to ourselves this weekend,” he reminds you after some time of catching your breaths. “So…so we can do this all you want.”
You giggle, rolling your eyes as you poke his forehead. “You’re obscene.”
“I’m romantic,” he corrects, “I just want to be with you and nothing else. Can’t blame a man when he’s been gifted such a beautiful sight before him.”
“And cheesy, too,” you huff. 
He smiles. My love, my soul, my heart. 
——————————
You wake up Monday morning to Alhaitham already gone—it’s rare that he’s ever up before you. He leaves the house just in time to make it to work exactly on the dot and not a moment sooner or a moment later. But, as is with any Akademiya position, there are quarterly meetings that even the scribe can’t avoid. You giggle at the image in your head of a grumpy Alhaitham carefully tiptoeing around the room as he miserably gets ready for an early morning of extra work, all while making sure he doesn’t wake you. 
You yawn, sitting up to start your morning for your own day of work ahead—but it catches your eye before you can fully rise from bed, making you pause. 
A note? No, you realize almost instantly. Not just a note—a letter:
To my love, my soul, my heart: Kalpalata lotuses will bloom soon. I forget how beautiful the world is sometimes, and I suppose it’s because I am always distracted by your beauty alone. Will you laugh as you read this? I suppose you might because even I must admit, it is a rather cliche thing to say. I can just picture your smile now, and I am certain I will have it memorized until my last breath. It’s easy to remember it so well when it’s all I see in my dreams. Have I told you how often I see you in them? It’s difficult to think that there was once a time in Sumeru when we did not dream. It seems like sleeping beside your body is no longer enough—your presence is required even in my slumber for me to truly be at peace.  Perhaps when the lotuses bloom, we can take a trip to the deeper parts of the rainforest to catch a glimpse of a few. They say the vines are blessed by The Lord herself. I was never one to seek out the divine, but perhaps with a gift as sacred as you, I should take the time to thank Lady Kusanali for granting such brilliance to take bloom in my presence. Only, the difference is that here with you, there are no cliffs to climb or seasons to await. You are mine to bloom, always—my precious, beautiful lotus.  Forever yours,  Haitham ♡
Tumblr media
ITS DONE. HAPPY LATE BDAY TO MY FIRST AND LONGEST LOVE. YOU MEAN EVERYTHING AND MORE TO MEEEEE
1K notes · View notes
greenwitchfromthewoods · 6 months ago
Text
baby steps. l Joel Miller
Tumblr media
Summary: you were his very quiet companion on patrols
Warnings:  angst, a little bit of swearing, mentioning pregnancy, mentioning loss of a child, mentioning abortion, mentioning suicidal thoughts, generally - a lot of unpleasant things, Reader is 30s or sth, I guess
A/N: I've had this idea in my head for a long time. There are some not so nice things (read the Warnings!) but I hope the whole story won't be so awful. your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes
and i would like to thank you for the few kind words i have received recently. it scared me but was very nice. thank you!
The first time he met you was at Tipsy Bison when Tommy told him you would be his new partner on patrols. Footsteps were barely audible, and then a chair on the other side of the table moved and you sat down. 
Your eyes stopped on Joel's face for a moment, you nodded in greeting. The name quietly fell from your lips, and then you focused on the map that Tommy had spread out on the table.
Joel wasn't sure if you understood what his brother was saying to you. You were silent, sometimes nodding your head, nothing more.
"Is she even good for this?" Joel finally muttered as you said goodbye and left.
"What do you mean?" Tommy folded the map and put it in his jacket pocket.
Joel raised his eyebrows "She seems a little... I don't know. Distant?"
A quiet laugh escaped Tommy's lips "Really? And who's talking?" he took a few sips of coffee "Joel, you wouldn't patrol together if I wasn't sure she was good. She may not be the life of the party, but she's great at what she does."
Joel had the impression that he had seen you a few times in Jackson, but you were one of those people who kept their distance from others. So he looked like that to others too?
It was only the first patrol with you that made him change his mind about you, but he wasn't sure yet if this change was for the better. 
You were definitely not one of those people who needed to talk. Small talk wasn't for you, but you listened very carefully. 
The area around Jackson was no stranger to you, just like handling a gun. So Joel got used to you, and over time he even managed to get some information out of you.
You had been in Jackson for almost five years, you lived alone in a small apartment. You were alone. "That's the best way." No family or close friends, except for Maria. You were patrolling and searching for supplies. He was also sure he saw you in the library, but he never asked about it.
After a few months, Joel could clearly tell that you were the right person for the job. He even managed to make you laugh a few times or talk a little longer. You never asked him about the past, and when he asked you about it, you answered "We're at an age where everyone has some background, right? But not everything is suitable for talking about it."
"Your girlfriend seems nice." Ellie stated one day, and seeing his confused face added "I talked to her today. She said that this crap didn't let her finish high school, so now she's catching up on school readings. If I were her, I wouldn't bother. School sucks."
The warm coffee warmed his tired body, but after a moment he spoke up "You talked to her? When? And... She's not my girlfriend."
Ellie shrugged "We talk a lot. And you don't? You spend a lot of time together, I thought that..."
"You were wrong." Joel mumbled "Did she say anything else?"
The girl looked at him carefully. "You really don't know her very well, do you?"
He wasn't sure if he knew you at all. Did he have the right to demand that from you? You did your job thoroughly, he could rely on you, and despite everything you were still standing somewhere in the shadows, hiding from everyone.
"Is everything okay with you?"
Your voice tore him out of his reverie for a moment. You were walking through a quiet area, the fading grass crunching under your feet, and the cold wind slowly became more and more severe.
"Yeah, everything's okay." he replied, glancing at you over his shoulder "I was lost in thought."
"I saw. Good thoughts?"
Joel cleared his throat and stopped, and a moment later you stood in front of him, looking at him uncertainly. 
You really liked him. Miller might seem like a grump, but his personality didn't bother you at all. Women in Jackson also said he was handsome. You had a lot of time to watch him outside the city, you had to admit they were right too. But that wasn't what mattered, was it? You felt safe with him and you trusted him, that was important.
"Doesn't Ellie tire you out?" he asked finally.
"What?" you burst out laughing "Come on. I like her. She asks a lot of questions, but she's a cool girl. I remember when I was her age..."
You stopped as if the thought slowed down your thinking the moment it appeared in your head. Joel saw your eyes wandering around the area with an unseeing gaze.
"Were you her age when this started?" he asked, but you shook your head slightly "Older?"
"Not much." Your voice was quiet but calm "I was a senior in high school. It seems so stupid now... I had a crush on this one guy, fuck, I don't know why I thought of him now."
"It was important back then." Joel mumbled, absorbing your every word. "And your family?"
"They died. A long time ago." The answer was quick, but emotionless. "Why do you ask?"
Joel shrugged. "I don't know. Just like that. Maybe I'd like to get to know you better."
You nodded, analyzing his words for a moment. "You're weird sometimes, Miller." You finally stated. "Conversations like this don't lead anywhere. They only reopen old wounds."
You adjusted your rifle strap and moved forward.
Fall had come for good, and you were slowly starting to withdraw even more. He could see it. Patrols were almost completely silent, he rarely saw you among people or at evening community meetings. 
Even Ellie convinced him that something was going on, because when he asked her she said that she hadn't talked to you in a while.
"It's that time of year." Maria said when he asked her about you too, he was helping her fix the heating in her house. "You should get used to it, Joel. But... I didn't know you were so interested in her."
"It's not like that." he mumbled, but he felt a strange warmth creep up the back of his neck. "She's my partner on patrol. I want to know that she's okay."
"I get it." Maria nodded and sat down on the couch. "Have you talked to her?"
"I've tried, but you know perfectly well that it's not easy. You're her friend." the woman smiled gently. "Is there something she's not telling me?"
"A lot of things, Joel. Just like you, she's not very open to confiding. And this time of year..." she looked out the window where the wind was playing with the fallen leaves. "You should talk to her yourself, if you care about her. But you can also forget about it, be like everyone else, pass her on the street and just let her be. It shouldn't be that hard for you, right?"
And that was something he couldn't get out of his head.
When he saw that guy instead of you the next morning, a strange shiver ran down his spine. "She's sick." Mark said, pushing leather gloves onto his hands. "I'll replace her."
Joel nodded and they set off on patrol. However, his thoughts kept returning to you, he analyzed your last meeting, the last words you exchanged. You were even more subdued. He had the impression that he was forcing the next words out of you, and you just wanted to leave, to disappear.
"She's weird, but pretty." Mark replied when they took a break for hot coffee and a sandwich. "A few guys hit on her, but nothing came of it. Actually, I was hoping that you and her, you know..." he winked at Joel. "But maybe she's that type of person."
"What type?" Joel asked, chewing a bite of his sandwich.
"In times like these, people need each other. They want to at least pretend that things are normal." Mark explained, reaching for the thermos of coffee "And others simply adapt to it. They don't want to have anyone close to them, because it's risky, you know. I guess she's like that. A lone wolf."
But Joel wasn't entirely sure, because he knew you from a slightly different side, or at least that's what he thought. When he showed up at your door that evening, only silence greeted him. And it was the same for the next few days.
"Yeah, she's still in Jackson." Maria was sure of her words "I visited her yesterday, but I don't think..."
That was enough for him. That strange fear was creeping into Joel's heart again. He didn't know why. He was afraid, and all his thoughts kept running to you. It was as if a strange force was pulling him towards you.
"Hey! It's me. Open up." he knocked on your door, but it didn't help "I know you're there. I want to talk. You can't keep hiding."
No answer.
"I can easily break down this door." he declared "I'll make a mess and you'll just be embarrassed. I can do this, you know that. So... On three?" he cleared his throat as if he was preparing to actually do it "One!" Nothing. "Two!" he thought he heard quiet footsteps on the other side. He was about to open his mouth when the door opened slightly and he saw your face.
"You'll hurt your shoulder. It'll be my fault and you'll be excluded from patrols for a long time." you said "That's pointless. Go away."
"I'm not going until you talk to me." Joel replied, his dark eyes full of stubbornness that you knew so well "You can't keep hiding."
"Maybe I'm sick?"
"You don't seem to be."
And then with one strong push he opened the door and before you could stop him he went inside. His gaze swept the apartment, he heard your protests but didn't care. 
Like a storm he passed through the small living room, peeked into the kitchen and when he entered the bedroom he found what he was looking for.
"Fuck! Get out of here!" you hissed, rushing after him, but then you noticed the bottle of whiskey he had taken from your nightstand.
"And these are bedtime snacks?" he growled, throwing a box full of medicines to the floor. "You robbed a fucking pharmacy?"
"None of your business!" you replied, he saw the fury in your eyes. "You're the last person who should be judging me."
"Or maybe I can, because I'm the only one who's ever shown up at your fucking door? What did you want to do, huh?" he put the bottle down with a bang and walked up to you, but you didn't take a single step back. "We were supposed to find you only when the stairwell started to stink? Did you think about Maria? About Ellie? That girl really likes you. Did you think about..."
About me.
Your gaze, although full of tears, was unwavering. You stood there, arms folded across your chest, your throat constricted so tightly that you couldn't swallow.
"Joel..." his name sounded like a prayer in your mouth. "I don't know what you were thinking, but this doesn't concern you. You shouldn't even be here. I tried to keep you out of this."
"Why?" his voice was a little calmer "Why are you like this? I can't figure it out. At first I thought we just didn't know each other well, but after so many months. I heard how freely you talked to Maria, Tommy said that you used to babysit their kid. I don't understand it!"
You closed your eyes as if his words brought you pain, as if they evoked all the emotions in you that you wanted to hide. Tears ran down your cheeks, and a quiet sob escaped your throat.
"I don't know how to deal with this, Joel..." you whispered after a moment, looking at him with eyes full of pain "It all hurts me so much. Every day. Patrols with you were an escape for me, you didn't ask stupid questions, I could feel safe there. But it's all always for a moment."
Joel approached you, his warm hand caressed your arm "You can tell me everything, you know that." you nodded "Come on, sit down."
He closed the bedroom door behind you as if he was leaving something unpleasant and bad there, and then sat down next to you on the couch. When you calmed down a bit, you looked at him like never before, almost with tenderness.
"When I came to Jackson, five years ago, I wasn't alone." you started slowly.
"Were you with someone? With some group?" Joel frowned, trying to remember that detail that must have escaped his attention.
You shook your head. "No, Joel. I wasn't alone, because I was pregnant."
Something twisted his guts. He didn't expect this.
"It was the middle of the seventh month, I guess. It's hard to get regular doctor's visits these days." The little joke was probably meant to lighten the mood, but even you didn't smile. "I've had a long journey. I was alone. Almost." you took a deep breath, and Joel felt his hands go cold and trembling in an instant. "It's funny, you know. Long time ago, women my age already had two kids. And I was completely unplanned pregnant and I hated every single day. I didn't want this baby, but it was there. It was growing. It was alive. I could feel it."
"What about the father?" Joel asked quietly.
A strange grimace crossed your face at the mere memory. "He wasn't father material, if that's what you mean. Some random guy. You know, as women we have another bargaining chip. Something that really tempts some men. Something we can use to survive."
He knew perfectly well what you meant. He had seen many women like that, but he didn't judge them. Everyone did what they had to to survive.
"He was nice, if that's any consolation. We stuck together for a while, and then we went our separate ways. After a while, I found out I was pregnant. But I didn't have anyone or anything at hand to help me solve this... problem." you rubbed your forehead with your hand as if you wanted to get rid of bad memories "Some guy told me about someone who could get rid of it manually, but I was afraid of infection. Then it was too late. Days and weeks passed, and I hated myself and this baby. The nausea was killing me. I was no longer good at smuggling. I also had no idea what I would do with a crying newborn... I got to Jackson, I thought maybe someone here would help me. Maria was so wonderful." a faint smile appeared on your lips, but you weren't even looking at Joel anymore. Your gaze was fixed on your clasped hands "I started bleeding a few days after I arrived. Then everything happened so quickly... The doctor at the clinic couldn't do anything. I had to give birth, but... There was so much blood... And silence. There was no baby crying."
Joel felt as if a heavy stone was resting in his stomach. He couldn't tear his eyes away from your face, but he couldn't say any words that could comfort you. And what the hell would they sound like. But you didn't wait for that, the words slowly flowed from your lips. 
"The doctor said that my body was too weak, that long fatigue, improper diet, that he was too weak... I had a son. He was so small when Maria put him in my arms... And he was so perfect. I was so afraid that his crying would bring trouble to us, that he decided to be quiet."
"I'm sure it wasn't your fault..." Joel finally choked out "Things like that..."
"Happens. I know that." You interrupted him calmly "But it was my fault, Joel. When I saw him... I would have given my life so he could cry, so I could know he was healthy and strong. How could I have ever thought otherwise? What kind of person am I?"
Your voice broke. You looked exhausted and tired of life. Joel understood your guilt perfectly, he knew what you felt. Sarah appeared in his head in an instant.
"I had a daughter." His voice broke the long silence between you. "I lost her right at the beginning."
"I'm sorry." Your voice was quiet, but full of something that gave him some relief.
"After everything I wanted..." he cleared his throat "I wanted to do the same thing you wanted. I even tried, but... I know how you feel, it's so devastating, and it will never get easier."
"I still have him in my mind, you know. He'd be five now. He'd ask a thousand questions, and I'd have to make sure he doesn't get into trouble. Sometimes I think about what it would be like, but then I hate myself even more... I didn't want him. I wanted to get rid of him. Maybe it's because of this..."
"Don't say that." Joel grabbed your hands and squeezed them tightly. "You might have thought so. You were alone, and this world had gone mad. You got into Jackson, you could be safe here, but... These things happen."
You watched him carefully. Never before had you and Joel spoken so intimately, but you didn't feel embarrassed by it. On the contrary, it was the first time someone had really meant it when they said "I understand you."
"I'm sure she was beautiful." you said quietly.
"She was. And very smart. Much smarter than me." Joel added. "She probably would have gone to college or something."
For a moment, silence reigned again. You had the impression that you were both lost in your thoughts about the losses that affected you. You weren't beating each other, you just allowed yourselves to feel it all again.
"Did you really want to kill yourself?" his question brought you back to reality for a moment.
You nodded. "Look at me, Joel. I have nothing, no one. I don't know if I could ever get close to someone again. And all these thoughts only make me feel worse. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to feel anything anymore."
He understood it perfectly. After Sarah died, he felt that this world wasn't for him. Every day was torture, and the longer it lasted, the more he closed himself in his shell. Years passed, and Joel barricaded himself so much that no one and nothing could get him out. 
And then Ellie appeared.
"You know..." he began uncertainly trying to find the right words. "I know what I'm going to say will seem pointless to you, but sometimes it's worth gritting your teeth and trying to live on. Not jumping into the deep end right away, but slowly, day by day. I know that your son..."
The name you gave him when you saw his face for the first time came out of your mouth. Joel repeated it gently.
"Your son would have a really fantastic mother." he said "I'm sorry you had to go through this. I really am."
Tears flowed down your cheeks and Joel struggled to put his arm around you so that you could snuggle up to him. You clung to him, and for the first time he felt the warmth of your body, your scent, your tender touch when you hugged him.
You sat like that for a long time. For the first time you talked about everything and nothing, he heard your quiet laughter a few times and noticed how much he liked it. It was all like honey to his heart. The feeling of loneliness he had disappeared when you were next to him.
He saw you the next day on patrol. It was the first sunny morning in a long time.
"Hi." Your quiet voice was the best thing he'd heard in a long time.
"Baby steps, right?" He nudged your shoulder lightly.
You smiled and followed him.
☆☆☆
Thank you for your time.
788 notes · View notes
the-tarot-witch22 · 3 months ago
Text
How you can love yourself more? - Pick a pile
Tumblr media
Pile 1/ Pile 2/ Pile 3
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
My Paid Readings | My insta | My year goal post
Liked my blog or readings? Tip me!
Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!
Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!
How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to! You can choose more than one pile, it just means both pile have messages for you!
I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!
Tumblr media
Pile 1:
(The cards I got for you - 10 of pentacles, Strength and the moon)
Okay so the very first thing I heard and feel is that you guys need to embrace your true self and leave people pleasing behind, like show who you are to world, if they don't accept it or you, then they are not for you! Your guides were also being like there are things or some lessons that they needs to go on their own, we can give them strength for the same, but what lessons they take it from it, its up to them. I also heard this group might use some self pampering, or self positive affirmation this group might at times worry a lot, I also feel this whoever chose this pile is quite spiritual, or have spiritual powers but some are just not awaken yet, I also feel this group is quite strong, they have gone through numerous things, they just need to accept they are worthy of it ALSO I am hearing stop with letting people who do bare minimum, stop putting them on pedestal, again with knowing self worth, I also FEEL for few of you could have had toxic patterns, friendships or relationships, which left you broken, and what I am hearing is, they made you who you are now, so embrace that part of you, and forgive yourself. You can also love yourself by indulging in activities which gives you pleasure! LIKE yes. this group feel quite rational, the zodiac signs I am getting for this group is air signs, especially Gemini sun/moon/rising, earth signs Capricorn and Virgo. I am also getting that let loose don't control the outcome, go with the flow, live day by day. For some of you I am getting, take proper care of your skin, don't chew on lips, and pick on acne scars. This was so specific and had to write it out for you, I also feel do things which scares you no matter the outcome, just go for it~
That's all pile 1, your pile had such sweet messages and I love it for you guys, love yourself and be you!
Pile 2:
(The cards I got for you - 4 of wands, wheel of fortune, 9 of swords and the 7 of pentacles)
Okay so the very first thing I feel and hear is you won't be unproductive if you take your time off, and have a gap in school year, job or anything related to career, so stop with being so harsh on yourself, I also feel this pile can love themselves more by being on their own, rather than forcing themselves to be with people who aren't meant for them, or they feel they can't quite fit in, I also feel some of you from this pile have to go out of comfort zone, in order to enjoy or love themselves, by not caring what people think of you or for you. I also feel you can love yourself by gifting yourself things you like, if they are out of budget then save for it, it will bring you immense pleasure. I also feel you can love yourself by enjoying and celebrating small moments in your life, or win, you passed your grade? gift yourself something even a small treat, you got a job? you got work done? gift yourself something, not gonna lie, this group is quite materialistic lol, not ALL of you, but SOME of you! hehe, but its not a bad thing at all~ I also feel you should embrace your uniqueness, this group might have body image or self esteem issues, and it makes sense the message i got for not caring what think of you, even if you embarrass yourself remember , no one remembers, be compassionate with yourself, treat yourself the way, you treat others, with kindness, you deserve it, I also feel this group might have a hobby of reading so get back into it or continue doing it, because its a form of self love for you, I also feel, this pile works really hard, so guys? take it easy you will get rewards soon, and don't doom scroll at night take proper sleep at least 7-8 hours! Take care of yourself and keep yourself hydrated! This group zodiac signs is earth signs and fire signs especially virgo energy and sagittarus!
That's all pile 2, you guys need to beeeelieve in yourself! You got this!
Pile 3:
(The cards I got for you - knight of cups, page of cups, and the queen of wands)
Okay so the very first thing i sense from this group is you are emotional too emotional and sometimes you let it affect your decisions (not a bad things) but sometimes, when someone step all over you, you need to show who you are! LIKE A BAD ASS PERSON, hehe, Don't let anyone make you think otherwise and look down on you, I feel this group might have had a friend breakup perhaps? which changed you, random. anyways! Let's start, I feel you guys can love yourself more by travelling, by going on random places, even if its close to your place, it might give you a sort of joy, many of you could be here a sort of beach person, or have water signs, Scorpio, cancer, and Pisces, I also feel you need to let your creativity flow, some of you could be quite artistic here, like very creative or might have sort of nice voice? embrace that. I do feel you have it all but at time when you lose it don't let your emotions guide you, but think from rationality or logical side, it will do you good, I also feel, very random but i think or feel some of you here likes to bake?? anyhow! I feel you can love yourself by journaling, meditating, to clam yourself, by spending time with loved ones, I also feel once you start being more confident and love the way you're, accept yourself, work on your flaws it would be you entering your divine era of power, I also got the message, "that you guys are doing great in your life", even if you think you're not i see you guys thriving. You guys can love yourself by a spa session or a cool bath like do what you gotta do baby!, I also feel you should spend time with animals care for them, it will be beneficial for you!
That's all pile 3! You just need to see yourself that you're the most beautiful and amazing person <3, keep going babies~
Tumblr media
Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3
607 notes · View notes
imliterallyf7ckin9crazy · 1 month ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
“𝔐𝔶 𝔤𝔯𝔞𝔰𝔰 𝔦𝔰 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔶 𝔤𝔯𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔞𝔫𝔡… 𝔥𝔬𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔩𝔶 ℑ 𝔠𝔞𝔫’𝔱 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔫 𝔣𝔲𝔠𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔠𝔞𝔭 𝔫𝔬 𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔦𝔰 𝔞 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔩𝔩𝔶 𝔡𝔞𝔯𝔨 𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔪𝔢… ℑ’𝔪 𝔤𝔬𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔱𝔥𝔯𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥 𝔞 𝔩𝔬𝔱” (hope yall get this ref)
Nam gyu x reader x thanos
Smoking weed with thangyu :3
Warnings: weed, smoking it, I don’t think they are crazy toxic in this one actually, kind of a poly relationship but not like officially in words? Idk, pre game/ no game AU bitch I have no clue. If you don’t like weed/aren’t comfortable pls don’t read and pls don’t judge 🙏
A/N: this is for me basically. I just thought this would be funny and I haven’t written in like 2 or 3 days and I wanna get back into it bc I miss it IDK😭 and these two are my favorites. America is geeking out and I’m stuck with it for 4 years so to cope imma write abt smoking zaza w squid game characters.
Also these are head cannons I just wanted to have that lyric as the title lol
_______
- dream and nightmare rotation somehow.
- I feel like smoking with them starts out chill ASF. Maybe yall start back at home and roll up, the three of yall cramped together on the couch.
- thanos is chilling at the arm rest end of the couch, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he meticulously distributes the goods evenly on the paper and rolling it to perfection. He even knows how to make those cute pattern filters. He repeats this process a few more times
- you are in the middle, crushed between him and nam gyu. Your head is nestled right on his shoulder blade as he works, and your right arm is looped through his left. No matter how many times he does it, you still always comment on how he’s “faster than last time” or that he’s done a great job. If he had a tail he’d be wagging it
- and then nam gyu is PRESSED up against you. One arm is clutching your torso as he practically lays on you, and the other is reached all the way behind you to rest on thanos’ back. His hands are never ever still so he’d be lightly tapping a rhythm on your skin as he waits impatiently
- once thanos is all done it’s time to smoke 🙏 now here’s some actual stoner HCs. I’ll make it short
Thanos: I wouldn’t say he’s a light weight bc he can get super high and be SET. But he just gets super high every time. Somehow he glitched out of high tolerance hell. Also he is a joint hog >:( ik it’s infuriating to try and get him to pass the fucking joint. Prolly uses it as a mic. Smh.
Nam gyu: has to smoke a lot to get high. Like eventually he gets there but he has to smoke one together with yall (bc he wants to be included) and one for himself. Bro gets sleepy, HELLA. Don’t matter indica or stativa. Honk shoo mimimi. I would say it makes him not keep his hands to himself but when has he ever??? Be prepared.
Together: world’s most stoppable duo. Literally whatever brain cells they had die. They are hanging off each other, laughing at genuinely anything, they don’t make any fucking sense, and to make it all worse they reek but tell each other they don’t. Once they’ve smoked they like to hit the streets together, maybe go clubbing :3 ends in 14 arrests idek
- they don’t skip you in a rotation EVER. They take their system serious asf. It’s always been thanos, you, nam gyu, repeat. And they will be dammed if you don’t get your hits in. They insist on shot gunning it to you (and each other but you ain’t hear that from me)
- they will never say no to more, three joints is just TO START. They got bongs, pipes, carts, brah everything
- they are extra sweet to you when smoking weed. Very cuddly, keeping you between them and then holding each other. You are literally trapped that way. And they keep looking at you with hazy eyes…
- hungry bastards. Usually they get food to eat before and then they can partake after. Sometimes they take you out to like a street vender for a cheap munchie session.
- not often tho. They like you keep you inside and away from other people. They like having you curled up between them, looking at them with glassy eyes, smoking the weed THEY bring you. Thanos and nam gyu are really possessive guys so they like moments where it’s literally just you three chilling.
- they be talking about the most random shit if all time. If yall remember the shower thoughts trend, that’s just the shit they say.
- they the typa guys when high to ask if you’d still love them if they were worms
- (you said yes and that you’d make a little compost bin for them to live in. They liked it)
- compliment city!! “Baby you’re so pretty” from nam gyu and a “don’t look away señorita, i wanna see you” from thanos.
- they hold hands with you.
- if you happen to green out they are with you in the bathroom. Nam gyu will hold your hair if you throw up and thanos is getting water and setting up for bed.
- tbh not all smoke seshs end in getting freaky, but it’s high in likelihood. Bc like cmon. They are freaky. And sometimes the weed be weeding. And they love you, and each other.
- but sometimes they end in just yall cozied up together in bed, rambling abt random shit, holding each other tightly as smoke clings in the air.
_______
Idk I just thought this was funny. I think the world would be much better if politicians talked shit out over a fresh J imma be real. America is hell.
343 notes · View notes
httpknjoon · 3 months ago
Text
santa, tell me | myg
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
plot | that time in december where popstar!yn and bassist!yoongi agreed to do something.
w.c | 3.3K
pairing | bass guitarist!yoongi x popstar!reader
genre | fluff, slight angst, enemies to lovers
note | thank you for the lovely @marblemoonstones for sending this request. sorry it took so long. i hope you'll love it.
main masterlist | series masterlist | want to request?
Tumblr media
cont. of DAY 64 of Love Is... On Tour
Tumblr media
"You didn't think that was all, right?"
Fans cheered for the last time, assuming that you just played your last song for tonight. But suddenly, a familiar tune plays in the whole arena. They cheered as the lights slowly turned up. The live band plays a prolonged intro to your famous holiday song. This time, Yoongi is back on his spot with the band, playing his guitar. You are now sitting on the throne with your candy cane.
"Alright, I need everyone to be honest right now. I have to ask y'all something." you begin, standing up. "What's your Christmas wishes to Santa?"
The fans from different sides of the arena shouted their individual wishes one by one. You walked to various parts of the stage to hear out some of their answers. As expected, you hear funny and crazy wishes.
A big dick!
"A what?!" you stopped at one's answer, eyes widened for a second.
The band and some members of the audience, who also heard that, laughed.
"I mean, that's a little naughty. But I'm sure Santa won't mind that one. List that down!" you turned your head to Yoongi, still in his Santa Claus suit. He played along, nodding his head with a thumbs up.
You were about to continue your fan interactions when you spoke again, "Oh, make that two! She isn't the only one wishing for that tonight."
The camera caught your playful wink, making your fans laugh and cheer. If a non-fan is in your show tonight, they will find your humor a little too sexual. Just like some people online who have big opinions about you and your ongoing tour, where a lot of suggestive stuff happens. But your latest album literally had a "Parental Advisory: Explicit Content" sticker on it when it was released since some of your songs were, again, sexual and included adult words. So, it is totally expected of you to have that kind of joke in you. And gladly, your fans were on the same wavelength.
My ex!
"Oh, your ex?" You repeated that one answer. You spotted that fan nodding. "Well... That's... a waste of a wish."
Your fans laughed, knowing that there was something behind your statement.
"An ex is an ex for a reason, love. Had to learn that in a very obvious way." You chuckled at your own mocking comment. "Anyway, any more wishes that Santa can list down?"
From the left side of the stage, you see a cardboard sign with a big statement written on it. Cute doodles related to Christmas and a few cutout pictures of you were added to the sign.
You read slowly, "We... want.. a... Christmas album?"
The arena was filled with cheers after you read that, agreeing to it. Your heart skipped with that reaction. Almost everyone in the venue knows that there is an ongoing rumor of you releasing one. And you don't where that came from but it was true.
It has been so long since you released a holiday-themed song. You only had one or two while a couple have been leaked before. But currently, you already have a collection of lyrics written in your notebook. But you need a little help with some melodies. With December already starting, you are now unsure if you should even release it.
"I don't know about that. Feels a little late to release that right now," you said, making your fans react with a loud boo.
It's only the first week of December!
Someone screamed so loud and clear, it was audible in the whole arena. Everyone agreed and cheered your name over and over again as a way to encourage you.
"We'll see about that." you smiled cheekily. "We'll see if Santa is listening to everyone's Christmas wishes tonight. Because for me, I feel like Santa and I don't really get along that much."
Yoongi hears his friends laugh next to him. He ignores them, waiting for how you will going to introduce this next song.
"But wasn't I a good girl this year, Santa?"
Unexpectedly, you turned to him for an answer. Yoongi shrugged his shoulders as a reply, making you roll your eyes. He tried not to smile, knowing that he successfully countered your attempt to get a reaction from him.
"See?" you looked back at your audience. "Anyway, I need to make sure Santa will hear my wishes tonight. So can you all sing with me for this last song?"
You smiled as the fans replied with a very loud and clear yes. Nodding to the band, they began playing louder and you started to sing,
"Santa, tell me if you're really there..."
Tumblr media
Your hair bounced to the rhythm as you danced along with your dancers. It was your official last song of the night after an hour and a half of songs and dance. But you still performed like it was just the start of the night.
"True love, that he thinks of..."
Just before the second pre-chorus ends, you strut down the long way to the wider stage where the band performs. You did not rehearse anything with Yoongi to this song since Santa did not plan to do anything in it. But Santa is here anyway, why waste his presence?
"Santa, tell me if you're really there. Don't make me fall in love again if he won't be here next year..."
As expected, Yoongi knew he was your target. You stood next to him, leaning your back to his side, while he played the guitar. You turned to him and poked him to get his attention like you were really talking to Santa.
"Oh, I wanna let him unwrap me, like, oh-ooh-oh..."
Yoongi finally looked at you when you turned around, showing off the fluffy white bow Paul had sewn behind your red dress. It took your fans a few more seconds to realize that you modified some lyrics the song had years ago.
"Get on top of him, by that fireplace, oh-ooh-oh..."
Singing the line, you dropped down quickly and popped back up. You looked over your shoulder, immediately winking at the first set of eyes you met. He looked away, making you laugh while still singing. Twitter will definitely eat up this short interaction.
"But I don't want a new broken heart. This year, I've got to be smart. Oh, baby..."
You strut joyfully all over the stage, swaying your hips to the song, while you sing some vocal runs. White confetti, mixed with red heart-shaped ones, began falling all over the arena as the song and show neared its end. Some fans also began throwing their small gifts on the stage.
"If you won't be, if you won't be here- Thank you all so much for coming tonight! Have a happy holiday!"
You let the background vocals sing in the background as you waved goodbye. As the lights dimmed down, you blew kisses on the cameras. The band freestyles, but remains in tune with the song.
Tumblr media
"Do you think I can still release a holiday EP before we take a break?"
On your way back to the hotel, half an hour after the show, you asked Cal. The idea of releasing new Christmas songs excites you and makes you wanna start recording your self-written songs immediately. But with less than two weeks left and a tour happening, you wouldn't want to hassle everyone.
Cal nods, reaching for her phone to look at her Calendar app, which its mostly filled with your agenda than hers, "Yeah, you absolutely can. We can talk to the label about it, so we can get things approved right away. But you are their favorite right now, they'll let you do anything you want."
You laughed at that, shaking your head even though that was true. Your assistant continued, "Just let me know your plans. Like, do you want to do some promotional stuff?"
"Seems nice. Does that Late Night gig still stand?" you asked, referring to a hosting offer you got a few days ago from the producers of a known show.
"Yep, they said they can wait until the day after tomorrow."
"So, I still have two days to finalize?" you asked.
"That's right." Cal replied.
You nodded, leaning on your chair more, forcing it to be your makeshift bed in the meantime. A checklist began forming in your head. You were done in the first step: writing the songs. Now, you just need someone to help you with producing it. Usually, you would call up your friends to collaborate. But with you touring around the country, you know that it will be hard to communicate with them at the same time.
Yoongi produces.
A thought comes into your head, but your eyebrows furrowed. He will not get your ideas like your past producers. You feel like you two have the most different perspectives on things that you will just end up scrapping the whole thing.
But I want to release this EP.
Cal, who was sitting next to you, heard you let out a deep, heavy sigh. Your back was facing her, but she could see you staring at your phone lock screen. After working for you for almost five years, she knows that you are probably just swimming in your thoughts right now. You often do that, especially when making big decisions. Once again, you let out a big sigh, nodding. Cal will not tell you, but her eyebrows raise when she sees you typing a message to someone.
Tumblr media
"I told you I was on stage earlier, I can't answer your calls."
Yoongi just arrived in his hotel room when he got a call from Sara, his ex-fiancee. It took him a minute of staring on his phone screen before deciding to accept the call begrudgingly. He has been avoiding to talk with her after they went on separate ways six months ago. But when she reached out to him the other day, he knew he won't be able to avoid her easily. A four-year relationship, with a year of being engaged, is not a light thing to bury down.
"God! This is why I don't want you doing tours. It's harder to communicate with you when you're on a different timezone." She grumbled.
The time difference is not even that much. He thinks she's just making a big deal out of something. Yoongi is on Boston, while she's on LA. He knows she probably just got home from her office just a couple of hours ago.
"Can we just talk about what we need to talk about?" Yoongi sighed, wanting to end the call as soon as he can.
"Fine." Sara sighed. "So, about the house. We decided to just keep it. It will be just easier for me and the baby since we already turned one of the rooms into a nursery."
He hates that it's a "we" decision. That there's another person involved in a conversation that's just meant for him and her.
"I told you to do whatever you want it, just give me my money back. I am not interested to know your plans with it." Yoongi almost spat the words out with disdain.
He is trying to remain calm and mature with everything about their past relationship. But again, it's hard, especially when Sara got herself pregnant with another man, who was her ex, while they are still engaged. Just recalling it back makes his blood boil.
"Yoongi."
She called him in a way that supposed to calm him down. If she did this a year ago, it would have worked. But hearing her calling him with her soft tone, just brings more resentment.
"Sara," Yoongi sighed.
Knowing that she's probably in her last trimester of pregnancy, he hate to bring stress to her and her baby. But man, it's hard to balance gentleness with hurt.
He pinched the bridge of his nose before walking out to the balcony to get some fresh air. He inhaled while feeling the coolness of the weather. He spoke,
"Just... just do whatever the fuck you want with our house and update me once you decided to pay me back. Okay?"
"Okay." She mumbled. "Yoongi, I'm so—"
He ends the call before she can say that familiar yet useless word again. Turning off his phone, he just rested his arms on the balcony railing while silently gazing on the distant city lights. His sweatshirt is nothing compared to the chilly weather, where light white snow falls on his jet black hair. But he doesn't mind, it makes him feel numb for a moment.
He really needs a distraction right now before he ends up smoking again.
"Hey."
Suddenly, Yoongi hears a small whisper. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked to his right, instantly spotting you in your usual oversized sweatshirt and plaid pajamas. You stood on the balcony next to his. A thin smoke from the cup you were holding slightly covered your face, but Yoongi still recognized that gentle smile that curved your lips.
"'Sup, Santa?"
Tumblr media
"So, this is your hot choco."
Cal placed the cup on a small table in your hotel room. You were still a little groggy when you woke up from your quick nap in the van. But now, after choosing to release an EP for the holidays, you want to stay up all night to work on it.
"Thank you, Cal. I love you so much." you told her, hugging her.
She smiled, "I love you too, hon. Don't force yourself to work more tonight."
You hummed in response while choosing more comfortable bottoms to change into. Cal took one last glance at you, making sure you were okay, before saying goodbye. Left alone, you changed into your red plaid pajama pants, perfect for the cozy weather.
Although you only had a few minutes of sleep, you are ready to take more steps for your plan. You messaged Yoongi earlier after getting his number from Fred. But you noticed you got zero replies from the messages you sent.
Maybe you should just talk to him in person?
Or you should just look for another producer?
The second option seems easier than talking with him directly.
You find yourself walking out to the balcony, swimming in your own thoughts while being engulfed by the chilly air. You keep your warm cup in both of your hands while thinking of how you can find someone to work with for your songs.
Back then, you used to have your then-boyfriend around to help you with such things. Theo is a musician too and plays a lot of instruments other than his bass guitar. So, he's been a great and quick support if you have unexpected ideas or melodies in your head. Since he also led the band before, he can easily call them up for a quick record session. But now, things changed. The cheating happened, followed by the break-up. To top it all off, your ex literally brought the band with him (except Noah, who insisted on staying with you) while you still have an ongoing world tour.
Asshole. You cursed in your head again when you remembered that time you were panicking after learning what Theo and the band did. Fucking asshole, you hissed.
Shaking your head, you try to get back on planning. You were sipping in your hot chocolate when you heard someone speaking.
"Just… just do whatever the fuck you want with our house and update me once you decided to pay me back. Okay?"
You see Yoongi next to your balcony with his phone next to his left ear. Blinking, your eyes observed him quietly. This may be the first time you saw him angry. He sounded aggressive to whoever he was talking with. Although inaudible, you know that the person on the other line was still talking when Yoongi abruptly tapped on his phone, ending. Your lips formed into a small 'o' before you took another sip of your drink.
You probably should have just gone inside and left him alone. Maybe it was just a fight with his fiancee, that he briefly mentioned in one of your quick conversations.
But after seeing him look out the night city view while his fists were clenched, you thought maybe you would let your presence known.
"Hey..." you almost whispered with how you tried to be careful with your tone as if you were stepping on a fragile glass floor.
Even though he was glaring when he turned his head at you, you tried to smile at him. Just a soft, friendly smile. But when the mood felt heavier, you made an attempt to lighten it up.
"'Sup, Santa?"
His tensed shoulders slowly dropped back into a more calm position before he shifted to face you.
"What are you doing there?" he asked, removing the snow on his hair.
"Oh, I didn't know I needed to have reasons to be on my own balcony."
You don't know why but that was the first sentence you thought of, but did not think through yet you let it slip out your mouth. It sounded defensive like you were picking a fight again. Tired of starting another dumb fight with you for today, Yoongi rolled his eyes and was ready to go back to his room.
"Wait! Wait I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say that." you stopped him, spewing out your apologies. Fuck, you didn't know you can be this bad in handling such moments like this.
"I actually want to ask if you have checked your messages?" you asked, changing the topic with the idea on the top of your head.
He squints at you, "Why?"
"Uh... I actually sent you a text earlier," you replied, scratching the back of your head.
"Again, why?" he asked one more time, sounding more uninterested. Even though, he was already wondering why would you message him and how you even got his number.
"Can't you just check your phone right now?" you asked.
Seeing you having trouble saying whatever you texted him made Yoongi even more curious about what you texted him. He shook his head at you.
"Actually, I can't." He tried not to smile when he noticed your nostrils flaring. "So can you tell me what you texted me?"
Your chest rosed when you exhaled heavily, aware of what he was doing. You were finishing the chocolate in your cup when Yoongi clicked his tongue,
"Well, I think I should go-"
"Yoongi, hi! This is YN. Got your number from Noah. I was wondering if we could collaborate on something that I'm planning to release this holiday season. Please, let me know if you're interested. x YN." you spoke so quickly yet clearly, reciting the exact text message you sent him before. You had it memorized because you kept reading it earlier while waiting for his reply, biting your nails. "Is that good?!"
Your irritation simmered down when you saw Yoongi biting his lower lip, stopping himself from smiling. But he already is.
"A little too fast for my liking. But, okay," he said, shrugging his shoulders.
"Okay?" you asked for clarification.
"Okay, I'll be your producer," he answered.
Even though you won't show it, Yoongi noticed you smiling before behind your cup. And yes, you know your cup was already empty. But you hate to give Yoongi more satisfaction after he made you recite your message to him.
"Can we start tomorrow?" you asked.
"Sure, come to my room."
You leaned forward with lines in between your brows, "Excuse me, what?"
"What? I already have my stuff set up here. I don't want to move again." he explained before smirking. "What were you thinking, YN?!"
Feeling the blood rushing to your cheeks and ears, you turned away, "Ugh, whatever. Let's just text."
"But my phone is turned off!" Yoongi teased you as you walked inside your room.
"Not my problem! Charge it or something. See you tomorrow!" you spoke hurriedly before closing the sliding door.
Yoongi laughed at your flustered reaction, shaking his head.
Tumblr media
note | random question... do u guys have any favorite youtube video segments where you would like the series characters to participate in? if yes, feel free to let me know! send me an ask or comment it. but anyway, thank you so much for reading <3
taglist rules
SERIES TAGLIST
@busanbby-jjk @jimingirl95 @treacherqus @jajabro @marnz1990 @ktownshizzle @notarshia @m00njinnie @thelilbutifulthings @tarahardcore
PERMANENT TAGLIST (CLOSED)
@dunixxd @cixrosie @jksjx @embrace-themagic @buttvi @starbtslove @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @imajinthis @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23 @chimchimmarie @petalsofink @jayhope88 @moonchild1 @laylasbunbunny @nikkiordonez12 @misshale21 @marblemoonstones
338 notes · View notes
heartsbyani · 4 months ago
Text
₊˚。 ❆ ⌇ 용복 : HERE'S YOUR MOCHA LATTE, WITH A SIDE OF ME ? ── the usual cafe, the usual order. a simple, mocha latte. maybe there's more to your frequent visits, aside the comforting drink. perhaps, a certain blonde behind the counter, who makes your usual with the brightest smile on his face, has something to do with it?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
𓍯 barista!felix ʚଓ customerfem!reader :( 𝒾 ) 3k ── ༯ ONESHOT, uni au, strangers to friends to lovers, lots of fluff, petnames, comfort, slow paced, idiots in love, corny flirting. ⸝⸝𓂃 LiBRARY . /ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\ྀིྀི
yani's note ˖˙ ᰋ very late lixie day post. so occupied with assigments and life.. ㅠㅠ.. gonna cry, he's so sunshine :(( comments, likes and reblogs are always appreciated ! happy late lixie day and happy reading <3
Tumblr media
the café had always been a hidden gem—tucked between two towering bookshops and half-covered in ivy that gave it a quiet magic.
and it was here, in this little coffee haven, that two lives started to intertwine in unexpected ways.
y/n had been coming here regularly for weeks now, sliding in most mornings with a soft 'hi' and a slight smile. it was warm but polite, like she didn’t want to disrupt the calm that filled the place.
she’d always order the same thing—a mocha latte with extra foam—and settle into her favorite spot by the window. her table was something of a fortress, surrounded by stacks of books and scattered papers.
she spent hours there, immersed in her work, her gaze often drifting out the window to the trees swaying lazily in the breeze.
but lately, her eyes had been wandering elsewhere.
to the counter, to be exact. or, rather, to someone behind the counter.
felix.
the name tag on his forest green apron spelled it out clearly, though it wasn’t hard to remember. he was the type of person you didn’t easily forget.
with sandy blonde hair spilling out from beneath a slightly-too-big beige beanie and eyes that sparkled with some endless, secretive mischief, he looked like he belonged here—like he was part of the café’s unique charm. his presence was as warm as the lights strung along the walls, like a permanent fixture of the place.
felix had noticed her right away.
to be fair, he noticed everyone, quick with a smile, always ready with a friendly quip, a social butterfly in every sense. but there was something different about this regular—this girl who ordered her mocha latte each morning and tucked herself away by the window.
she seemed like one of those people you saw every day but somehow never really knew. the kind of person you wanted to ask about the story they carried, about what hid behind the small, quiet smile she kept just for herself.
it started out simple enough—a quick glance here, a little smile there, a few “good morning” greetings exchanged over the counter.
the blonde's friends and coworkers had noticed too, occasionally catching him gazing just a beat too long in her direction. they’d nudge him, teasing, and he’d brush it off with a shrug and a grin.
he’d tell himself it was nothing, just a curiosity. but each time she walked in, he found himself a little more drawn in, the pull stronger than he’d ever expected.
~
the first time they really spoke beyond a “hi” and “thank you” was an accident.
one gray afternoon, as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, y/n realized she’d forgotten her prized notebook at home.
she frowned, mildly irritated; she’d planned to spend a few hours working.
felix, who was wiping down tables near her spot, couldn’t help but notice her furrowed brows, cute, he thought.
“you okay there?” he asked, his voice low but friendly, like he was speaking in the library.
she glanced up, surprised.
“oh—uh, yeah. i just… forgot my notebook,” she admitted with a sheepish smile.
he grinned, tucking the cloth he was holding into his apron pocket. “a writer, hm? or a student?”
“both,” she laughed shyly, her cheeks warming as he leaned in just a bit, his eyes meeting hers. “i’m working on a research paper. and i think i left half my sanity in that notebook.”
felix laughed, the sound warm and easy, and it made her smile widen a bit. “research paper? let me guess. something thrilling, like organic chemistry or macroeconomics?”
“close,” she teased. “it’s actually an analysis of cultural symbolism in modern art. you know… riveting stuff.”
“oh, sounds very serious,” he replied, leaning on the back of the chair across from her. “but i think it’d be more riveting if you had some caffeine to go with it. on the house, maybe?”
“oh no, i couldn’t—”
“hey,” he raised a hand, “i insist. for the arts.” his eyes held hers, exaggerating his words with hand actions, a spark of playful sincerity in the gaze.
and so, for the first time, she watched felix bring her a mocha latte from across the counter, carefully placing it in front of her with a grin that seemed almost too charming for a place as quiet as this café.
Tumblr media
after that day, things shifted—just slightly, but noticeably.
there were more smiles, more exchanges. she would glance up from her work sometimes, finding the blonde already looking her way, and he’d offer her a quick wink before going back to wiping down tables or taking someone else’s order.
she found herself smiling more than usual, her gaze following him whenever he moved around the café.
one chilly morning, she came in a little later than usual, wrapped up in a thick scarf and shivering slightly from the cool snowy weather outside. her brown hair, partially were sprinkled with sugar-like snowflakes, as she quickly closed the wooden-glass door behind her.
the guy, who’d been leaning against the counter waiting for her, broke into a grin as soon as he saw her.
“oh, a little cold, are we?”
she laughed, cheeks heating as soon as she heard his deep voice. “well, hello to you too, felix.”
he chuckled, unbothered. “sooo, should i take a wild guess at what you’re ordering today?”
“oh, you’re psychic now, too?” she shot back, feigning surprise, raising an eyebrow.
he gasped in mock shock. “you got me. how’d you know?” he tapped his forehead, giving her a mock-serious look. “it’s all in here.”
she laughed, like she always would, watching as he went to make her drink, still playfully speaking as he worked. and as he slid the mocha across the counter toward her, he gave her a look so warm, so familiar, that for a moment, she forgot they were strangers at all.
“you know,” he began, leaning against the counter with a thoughtful expression, “i think i should get to know the mysterious mocha drinker a little better. how else am i supposed to keep nailing your exact order?”
“oh, is that why?” she replied, biting back a smile. “for the sake of the perfect mocha?”
“exactly,” he nodded, eyes twinkling. “only for quality control, of course.”
the two fell into a soft rhythm, like an unspoken dance, each of them taking turns to ask and answer questions, uncovering little pieces of each other’s lives with every passing moment. felix learned she was studying anthropology, that she had a younger brother who’d recently started university, that her favorite book was norwegian wood by haruki murakami.
she learned he was majoring in design, that he loved baking as much as he loved making coffee, and that he could spend hours watching old animated films without getting bored.
just the perfect match, as someone would say.
eventually, the café became more than just a place for her to work; it became a place for her to find something that felt strangely like home.
and felix, the friendly barista with the smile that lit up the whole town, was slowly becoming a part of her morning ritual, someone who made her look forward to the quiet hours by the window just a little bit more.
Tumblr media
the next morning, she noticed a little sketch on her coffee cup, a tiny doodle of a smiling sun with the words, 'good luck today!' written underneath.
she looked up, catching felix’s eye, and he smiled, giving her a casual little shrug.
“thought you could use a little good luck,” he explained, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. "you know, for the research presentation today."
"you remembered?" she felt her heart skip, surprised by the unexpected sweetness of the gesture. “thank you… really.”
felix gave her a soft smile, one that lingered with unspoken words. “anytime.”
and she left the café soon, after the moment had made her smile a little wider, a warmth blooming in her chest that she couldn’t quite put into words.
and felix, well… watched her, like he always did.
he had never felt so drawn to someone he barely knew. it was strange, exciting, and a little scary, but he couldn’t help the feeling that he wanted to know her more. a lot more.
the same day, the slightly-warmer noon, was where he found the same girl sitting in her usual spot by the window, deeply engrossed in the notes spread across her table, as he entered the café for his shift.
the soft clinking of mugs and murmuring of the café filled the air, a familiar comfort. seemed like a co-worker of his had served her today, or did he?
her eyes shot up to him entering, seeing the bell ring slightly as he closed the door behind him. he was wearing a puffy black jacket, which was now being discarded and hung onto the stand beside the door, while she stared at his figure.
as he turned around, their gazes met. he smiled, as bright as ever, sending her heart straight to a marathon.
"well, hello again," he greeted, walking towards the counter. "how did your presentation go?"
she smiled, "it actually.. went better than i thought it would. thanks to the latte earlier,"
he nodded, "that's good to hear.. seems like my wishes worked, huh?" a chuckle escaped his lips.
"it sure did," she replied with a smile, interrupted a bit as more customers started to enter the café.
felix had already returned behind the counter, called by his co-worker, seungmin.
"you're finally here, oh god," the brunet nudged felix, handing him the tray of the specific order, freshly brewed.
"i thought i would have to end up serving your little love interest her usual, thanks for being late, yeah?" he shot a glare his way, quickly pushing the dumbfounded guy, slightly to leave the kitchen.
"wait up, how long did you keep her waiti-" the elder opened his mouth to protest, only to be greeted by the soft push.
"just go serve her already, will you!"
meanwhile, today, y/n wasn’t as absorbed in her work as she seemed. she’d lift her gaze, watching felix out of the corner of her eye as he moved towards the counter, hoping he’d glance her way.
and soon enough, he did.
felix caught her looking, his lips curling into a little smirk as he walked over. “what, am i that distracting?” he teased, setting her mocha latte down with a flourish. he seemed unusually fidgety, fingers tapping against the cup as if he were holding something back.
y/n laughed, feigning a deep, thoughtful expression. “maybe. you do have a way of stealing the spotlight.”
he snorted, folding his arms and leaning against the counter. “or maybe you’re just looking for excuses to stare at me.”
“bold assumption, felix,” she replied, grinning as she took a sip. her heart did a tiny flip when he didn’t deny it, his gaze soft as he watched her with that lingering smile.
"sorry to keep you waiting with the.. latte. my fellow barista," he glanced back towards the kitchen, eyes meeting the said guy who seemed to enjoy the other two's moment through the small window. "..ran into some inconveniences."
the blonde only communicated with seungmin with his eyes, probably motioning his friend to quit being a stalker to the moment.
soon, the two fell into easy conversation, after serving other customers, his fingers still idly tapping on the counter.
finally, after a moment’s hesitation, he looked down, scratching the back of his neck.
“uh, you know,” he began, his voice suddenly quieter. “i was actually wondering if—well, if you’d maybe like to hang out outside this café sometime. like, more than just a customer and a barista thing?”
y/n blinked, caught off guard by the unexpected question. but her heart picked up speed, warmth spreading across her cheeks as she smiled up at him. “like friends?”
“or like..” he shifted his weight, glancing away for a split second before meeting her eyes with a sheepish grin. “friends.. who, you know, maybe like each other a little?”
her heart was practically racing now. she tried to keep her cool, playfully raising an eyebrow at him. “are you asking me out, lee felix?”
he laughed, raising his hands in surrender. “only if you say yes. i mean, i’m not going to force you or anything. but, i think, it’d be nice to hang out. just us. away from coffee orders and doodles on cups.”
for a moment, she said nothing, just looked at him with a growing smile that seemed to say more than words could. “okay,” she said, her voice soft but clear. “i’d love that.”
the grin that spread across his face was instant, lighting up his eyes with a joy that made her heart do yet another little flip.
later that evening, around six, the blonde took her to a cozy, lesser-known part of town where string lights draped over cobblestone pathways, casting a soft, golden glow across small street stalls.
they wandered through rows of trinkets and vintage books, the air filled with a slight chill and the smell of freshly made pastries.
“this place is like a dream,” y/n murmured, taking it all in as they strolled side by side. “how did you even find it?”
he chuckled, hands tucked into his jacket pockets. “i have my ways. plus, i figured it’d suit you. quiet, a little hidden, full of character, kind of like our café.”
she nudged him with her shoulder, laughing. “are you implying i’m quiet and hidden?”
he feigned innocence. “hey, you’re the one who sneaks into the café all quiet every morning. and as for hidden…” he paused, looking at her with a slight tilt to his head. “i don’t know. sometimes you just look like you’re lost in your own world. it’s kinda cute, really.”
she felt warmth blossom in her chest, her cheeks flushing as she looked down, smiling to herself. “well, maybe i was just looking for a place to escape,” she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper.
he nodded, his tone playful yet warm. “lucky for you, i’m an expert at escaping the ordinary. follow me.”
they drifted from the stalls and found themselves near a small fountain tucked away from the main bustle of the market, framed by ivy and stone benches.
he gestured for her to sit beside him, and as she did, she noticed him fidgeting slightly, his leg bouncing in place.
“you okay?” she asked, a hint of amusement in her voice.
“me?” he shot her a nervous grin. “yeah, totally fine. just, you know, first time actually hanging out. outside the café, without, like, a counter between us.” he laughed, glancing away.
“i don’t usually get nervous around people, but you’re.. different.”
she bit her lip, trying to suppress the smile threatening to break free. “good different?”
“the best kind of different,” he murmured, his voice suddenly quiet and sincere.
for a moment, they just looked at each other, the air between them charged with a soft intimacy that felt new yet somehow familiar.
he hesitantly reached for her hand, his fingers grazing hers in a touch that felt electric, as if every nerve in her body woke up at the contact. as if he was trying to see if it was okay, and did he even know, it was so much more than okay.
they sat there, their fingers intertwined, warmth blooming from their hands into their chests. he was the first to speak, his voice soft but laced with a smile.
“you know, i always thought you were one of those people who seemed like they’d have their whole life figured out. but then, i got to know you a little, and i realized maybe…you’re just like the rest of us. trying to figure things out, one mocha latte at a time.”
she chuckled, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “guess you’re not as psychic as you thought. i’m far from having it all figured out.”
“well,” he replied, voice barely above a whisper, “maybe we can figure it out together.”
y/n felt her heart swell, warmth spreading from her chest to her cheeks, as she looked down at their joined hands, smiling softly. “i’d like that.”
they spent the rest of the night walking through the quiet streets, talking about everything and nothing—sharing stories, dreams, memories, and hopes they hadn’t even told their closest friends.
he would lean closer each time she laughed, the sound sending a thrill down his spine that he was sure she could feel.
as they reached the end of the evening, he walked her back to her apartment, the silence between them comfortable yet buzzing with something neither of them could name.
they stopped just outside her building, and he turned to face her, a hesitant smile tugging at his lips. “so.. i had a really nice time tonight.”
“me too,” she whispered, almost breathless, looking up at him as if seeing him in a new light.
they lingered in that moment, their faces close, eyes meeting in a quiet understanding that words couldn’t capture. felix lifted a hand to brush a stray strand of hair from her face, his fingers lingering just a second longer than necessary.
his voice softened, almost a whisper. “i don’t think i’ll ever look at mocha lattes the same way.”
she laughed, biting her lip as she felt her cheeks warm. “guess that makes two of us, cute, blonde, barista guy.”
he chuckled, his gaze softening as he looked at her. “maybe we should try something different next time. something a little stronger.”
she raised an eyebrow. “stronger? like, coffee?”
“yeah, or…” he hesitated, a teasing smile tugging at his lips, “like feelings?”
she blushed, feeling warmth spread through her chest as she held his gaze. “guess i’ll have to try that sometime.”
with a gentle, lingering smile, he gave her hand one last squeeze. “good night, y/n.”
“good night, lix.”
as he walked away, she stood there, watching him disappear into the street, her heart feeling fuller than it had in a long time.
and for once, she couldn’t wait for the next morning.
Tumblr media
402 notes · View notes
velocesainz · 1 year ago
Note
Hii!
Could you possibly do a Percy Jackson smut with Percy fucking the brat out of reader, his rival? Rough sex with degrading and praise pls and ty 🫶🏼🫶🏼
A/n:This was quite an interesting request for me to write, thank you for the idea! All character have been aged up (19-20)
More than rivalry
Percy jackson masterlist | Main masterlist |
Summary: Percy gets jealous seeing you (his rival) with another boy and decides to fuck you to make sure you remember that you are his but you end up being too cocky for his liking
Warnings: smut, degradation
Pairing: Percy x daughter of Zeus! Reader
Reader pov:
I was practising my archery skills with some Apollo kids and we were actually having a lot of fun
Over the time I had spent Robert over the past few days perfecting my archery we both really grew close together
He was one of the very few people at camp who were actually friends with me for me and not because I was Zeus’s daughter.
While we were training I clumsily fell over a rock and was about to go crash into the ground but Robert caught me in time.
We stayed in the position for a little bit not knowing what to do.
We looked at each other with soft and gentle eyes, like how friends would rather than people who like each other though it seemed otherwise to most.
It was a sweet moment we both were trying to savour when a bellowing voice split us apart
“Oi thunder witch! What are you doing, let the poor guy out of his misery and do some practising on your own yea?” Yelled the voice that I really didn’t want to hear right now
Percy motherfucking Jackson
“Ocean ass how about you go bother someone else. He’s here with me at his own will for your kind information. Care more about your friends yea?” I retorted
I wanted to leave the arena as fast as possible so I bid Robert goodbye and left for my cabin
Percy pov:
Crisis averted.
I didn’t let Robert and y/n have their moment.
Why the fuck out of all the girls here does Robert have to go for y/n?
He has like a hundred girls dying for him.
Doesn’t he know she’s mine?
I know we seem like enemies but I wish to fuck like every second of the day at this point
She’s just so beautiful and that attitude damn.
I had a plan to get y/n away from every other guy, not just Robert.
Reader pov:
I was sitting in my cabin reading a book when I heard a knock on my door
That’s odd, I thought
Nobody was usually free at this hour in the evening
Everyone was too busy scheming for capture the flag except me of course
I wasn’t allowed to participate along with Percy since we were a tad bit overpowered
I walked over and opened the door and before I could figure out who it was they shoved me against the wall and started kissing me
I pushed the figure away and tried to run but they caught me
“Don’t try to run bitch. You need to be taught a lesson. Now be a good little slut and listen to what I say or the consequences will be severe for you” the figure whispered in my ear.
Then I realised who it was
Percy.
I was feeling cocky today so I decided to tease him a little
“You sure you can be intimidating and dominating seaweed brain? I don’t think you can even satisfy me forget punishing me”I replied with a smirk gracing my features
“Oh you asked for this whore. By the time I’m done with you you will be so dumb for my cock that you won’t even remember your name. Just you wait “ he said in a Husky voice which turned me on more than I would like to admit
He started removing my clothes as fast as he could and I couldn’t help but sneak in a cheeky comment
“Desperate are we?” Boy oh boy was this a bad decision
“I’m going to fuck that cocky attitude right out of you. You really just can’t keep your mouth shut can you whore?” Percy said and threw me in my bed
Undressing himself he got on the bed and made his way towards me like a predator approaching its prey
He moved my panties to the side and roughly shoved his cock inside me without any warning
“A-ah p-p-Percy that hurts sto-“ I was cut off by a slap I received
“Shut the fuck up slut. You were the one who was acting all cocky just a few minutes ago. Bitches like you don’t deserve to be cared for” Percy panted as he continued thrusting in and out
His pace was ungodly. He kept thrusting in and out of me letting my pussy drink up his cock
I felt like I was losing my mind as he hit my g-spot repeatedly completely abusing it
“O-oh fuck your pussy is tight. G-gods I’m going to come. Ah yea just like that” He whispered huskily
“I am going to cum too Percy” I told him
“No no. You don’t get to cum you little slut. You’ve been a really back whore for me. You don’t get to cum today, deal with it yourself” Percy said as he came in me
He got dressed quickly and left leaving me a panting and unsatisfied mess
Goddamit jackson.
A/n: let me know if you guys liked this fic or if you have any feedback! Requests are still on hold unfortunately but they’ll be opened soon. Kissies ✨
972 notes · View notes
verstappen-cult · 1 year ago
Text
HOW YOU GET THE GIRL | CL16
— 01. THE BEGINNING
NEXT PART — [ SERIES MASTERLIST ]
summary: in which charles has an embarrassing crush on alex's childhood best friend and everyone meddles. content warnings: faceclaim is taylor hill but you can picture her as you’d like! some cursing. note: hiii i love being a little delulu, so i had to do this. it is also my first time doing a smau for the f1 fandom, so be kind with me! if you see some mistakes please know that english is not my first language and i noticed them once everything was finished, lol. ♡
Tumblr media
INSTAGRAM POST
📍MIAMI, FL
Tumblr media
Liked by lilycollins, alex_albon and 365,751 others
yourusername unexpected trip. 🧃
view all 4,655 comments
user1 Alex x Y/N content incoming????
user2 they haven't been seen together in a while user3 i don't think they're friends anymore user4 he left a comment lol
alex_albon brownie's the real star in this pic
yourusername forget about pic credits.
user5 she was in greece a couple of days ago, oh to be rich
user6 and pretty user7 and have famous friends user8 and BE famous
williamsracing Thanks for accepting our invitation, we can't wait to have you with us this weekend!
alex_albon YOUR invitation???
user9 we're sleeping in the fact that she's gonna be in the paddock this weekend for the first time
user10 she's living the dream
TWITTER
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Y/N’s IMESSAGE
Tumblr media Tumblr media
INSTAGRAM POST
Tumblr media
Liked by haileybieber, tomholland2013, landonorris and 972,431 others
yourusername i only came here to drink and watch guys in very fast cars.
📸: @alex_albon who i had to physically drag out of his hotel room after free practice was over.
view all 3,865 comments
user11 caption is so real
user12 she's just like us fr
tchalamet call me next time you're in nyc
user13 ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE user14 timmy is doing what all of us want to do
haileybieber pretty girl
user15 idk abt u guys but i see lando in the likes 👀
user16 don't read too much into it user17 they’re probable friends user18 i wanna be her
alex_albon i'm so good at taking pics i should dedicate my life to photography
yourusername please stick to driving
user19 i want their friendship :(
ALEX’S IMESSAGE
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
INSTAGRAM STORIES
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Seen by zendaya, charles_leclerc and 287,386 others
Tumblr media
there is no cause in calling or messaging alex, you know he will not answer. not when qualy is just an hour away and he needs to be prepared.
you don’t know where you are. you see the main entrance a couple of meters away, but you can’t remember where to go from there. but you also can’t stand all day in a place you don’t know, surrounded by fans and people too eager to notice how lost you look. the best you can do is walk around and find your way back; if you have any luck you’ll find alex’s garage before he has to go out. to wish him luck and punch him in the face.
you send him one last message, promising to make his life a living hell, and put your phone away.
you’re trying to follow the path you remember in your head, when someone comes barreling into you.
“hey!” the person says a little out of breath. “i was just looking for you.”
you take off your sunglasses to get a better look and it dawns on you that you definitely know this person. or at least you’ve seen him countless of times in your tv, sometimes in alex’s instagram stories too.
“charles!” you really don’t know him, this is definitely the first time you are speaking to him, but you’ve never been so happy to see someone you barely know before. “oh my god, you won’t believe what alex did to me.”
“i know,” he says immediately and you furrow your eyebrows. he shows you his phone, as if that will tell you what you need to know, but when you don’t speak, he smiles hesitantly. you don’t know if the blush on his cheeks is because he was running to get to you or if it’s for a whole different reason. “i saw your story and thought maybe i could help you?”
you process his words for a few seconds, until you realize who really is in front of you. “oh my god, charles!” you exclaim a little louder, drawing attention, and you witness how people begin to notice charles’ presence because of that. he looks at you with confusion on his face, race suit hanging low around his waist. “you’re not supposed to be here, you should be in your car.”
charles’ blush deepens. “yeah,” he says, scratching his neck and avoiding your gaze. “but i couldn’t leave a pretty girl here all alone.”
now it’s your turn to blush, cheeks heating up so much that you’re sure everyone around you can see it.
“let’s go, please. i don’t want to be the reason why you’re gonna be scolded for.”
you walk beside him, trying to give him space as he takes selfies with a few fans that have the courage to approach him. however, charles apologizes with a smile when he sees you a couple of meters away and, as you walk side by side, you can’t help but notice heads turning in your direction and whispers of your name and his.
you fall into an easy conversation that ends up sooner than you’d have liked. but you don’t part ways until his number is on your phone and the promise to text him on your lips.
Tumblr media
TWITTER
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Y/N’s IMESSAGE
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
INSTAGRAM POST
Tumblr media
Liked by charles_leclerc, romeestrijd and 676,823 others
yourusername what an incredible weekend! i got to attend my first GP thanks to @/williamsracing (and alex too, he gets mad if i don’t say he had to do with it) and meet new and amazing people. let’s hope this is not the last. 🏎️🤞🏼
view all 7,665 comments
user20 SHE LOOKED SO BEAUTIFUL
user21 mother is mothering
williamsracing Oh no, thank YOU for accepting our invitation and enjoying with us, even if you got lost for a minute. 💙
yourusername it was all alex’s fault alex_albon NO DON'T LISTEN TO HER, THEY ARE FRAMING ME !!!!
user22 everybody calm down… CHARLES IS IN HER LIKES
user23 so it’s true what everyone’s been saying? they were together on saturday??? user24 idk but there are pics of them walking together user25 not my boyfriend trying to steal my girlfriend
romeestrijd you need to take me w you next time. ❤️‍🔥
yourusername we'll have so much fun! user26 does this mean you're going to the next race?
user27 why do people always assume a driver's dating someone when they like a pic??? u’re acting crazy
user28 like friendships between a man and a woman exists, HELLO !?!?
charles_leclerc thanks for stopping by.
user29 CHARLES WHAT user30 Stopping by where? user31 what do you mean?? i mean what do you- what do you mean??
user32 not Y/N replying to all her friends comments and not charles' 🤣🤣
user33 she's too much for him user34 HE'S too much for her x
Tumblr media
note: ups, hello to you again… if you make it here, thank u sm! let me give you a lil kiss on the forehead. btw i’m planning on making this a series, so if you liked it please let me know. and if you want to request something, feel free! comments & reblogs are greatly appreciated. 🫶🏼
2K notes · View notes
hwallazia · 8 months ago
Text
OCEAN, BED, TATTOO – 정우영
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
synopsis . in which wooyoung tattoos your skin with ink... and with his lips.
pairing . jung wooyoung & fem! reader
genre . smut (mdni!), fluff & comfort, established relationship, tattoo artist! wooyoung
taglist . @bro-atz @purplenimsicle @vampzity @iykyunho | comment your username if you wanna be added to my permanent taglist! ♡
word count . 2,1k
DISCLAIMER! dom! wooyoung (he’s a teasing menace here) sub! (and very whiny) reader, fingering, clit play, light scratches, unprotected sex (boooo👎), tattoos involved, overstimulation, dirty talk, praise, pet names (my love, sweetheart, youngie & more). lmk if i missed anything.
NIC’S NOTES hey, i’m back at the game again after a long month full of exams !! i’m soo glad, i missed writing so much ♡ well, enjoy <3
Tumblr media
tattoos aren’t as bad as people say. they look cool on your skin and they are aesthetically gorgeous. when you were about nine years old, your older sister, a few months after she came of age, got a tattoo of a beautiful, fine mandala on her right leg, and from that moment on, you were committed to tattooing your skin—probably the forearm, you often thought.
and you finally did it when you turned 20. with your sister’s company, you arrived at the tattoo parlor in search of a certain “wooyoung”, who would be the artist who would draw the permanent (and hopefully pretty) lines on your skin.
“excuse me. um, we’re looking for wooyoung? he’s supposed to be the tattoo artist for my sister.” your sister said to the man behind an old oak desk that seemed to be some kind of reception, her body leaning against the wood, elbows resting on it. 
“guess you’re looking for me then” a voice not participating in the conversation intervened. since you heard it coming from behind you, you turned around. just to meet the most good-looking, jaw-dropping, mouth-watering man you’ve ever seen, his figure leaning against the door’s frame that seemed to lead to his studio with his arms crossed in front of his chest, his notoriously pump chest.
“you must be yn.” he continued as he approached you and your sister’s position. “hi. i’m wooyoung.” he extended his right arm, placing his left hand under it. oh, he looks like a prince, a tattooed prince, but hush. “well, do you want to come in alone or do you want your sister to accompany you?”
fortunately, your sister could read you like a book. so when she saw your momentary inability to formulate coherent sentences —she’d later study the reasons why you suddenly were flabbergasted— and before you could say whatever thought your short-circuited mind processed, she answered for you. “go on. i’ll wait here. sometimes you gotta face situations without your dear older sister’s help, right?” she said as she ruffled your hair playfully, slightly messing up your hairstyle. an annoyed huff escaped from your lips with a small pout in reply. 
a cute, quiet snort came from wooyoung, your embarrassed heart racing a little at the sound of it. “come on, then” he tilted his head sharply indicating you to enter his studio. you walked side by side towards its door and before you both could pass the threshold, he stepped aside the door’s frame and extended his arm, his fingertips pointing to the inside of the room.
“ladies first” he uttered in a honey-dripping tone that made your heart skip a beat. and the warm smile he gave you after you locked gazes? double kill. heat flushed through your cheeks, now turning into a more reddened hue. when wooyoung saw your adorable, bashful face turning into a cute tomato, his eyes closed even more. two beautiful, heartwarming crescent moons decorating his eyes. you bowed your head slightly at the embarrassment and entered the studio. abstract art pieces hanging on the wall; a melting-type clock on the side of one of them; a few framed diplomas embellishing a narrow decorative table located below a large window, which gave the most beautiful view of the busy downtown of seoul and, at the same time, allowed the entry of divine natural light, changing the ambience completely. he also had some plants here and there.
“so, what did you have in mind for today?” he spoke as he reached for his chair, grabbing it by its back and pulling it to him so he could sit on it. his arms finding support on the top of the chair as his upper body vaguely leaned against it. “is it your first time?” he asked and turned around to prepare the tattoo machine by grabbing the black ink he’d possibly need.
“yes, um. it is, actually” you stuttered, trying to sound as clear and understandable as possible. “i thought about tattooing the word ‘resilience’ on my forearm. is that okay?” your eyes wondered between wooyoung’s fingers and the veins that came from them, a bottle of isopropyl alcohol in his right hand. 
“of course it’s okay. you’re the boss in here.” he chuckled a little at your stammering tone. ‘well of course it is, you’re the one getting the tattoo and paying for it anyway, so duh’ a bothering voice in your head replied to you, a soft huff from you was heard. “so, do you have an idea of how you want it to look?” he continued while he stretched the latex glove on his left hand and then replicating the action on his right.
“yeah, let me get my ph-” you started to say as you touched your upper body, and then your hips, and then your pockets, and then your pants... you had totally forgotten your phone, in which you kept the idea you saw on pinterest the other day of the tattoo you wanted to get. a murmured curse coming off your lips when you realized. “i, uh. i don’t have my phone with me right now. i... forgot it at home.”
“oh. well don’t worry! it happens to me more times than i’d like.” he laughed not too exaggeratedly. he wasn’t trying to piss you off by giggling at your disgraceful situation; he was comforting you in the best way he could because, after all, you were strangers. “hm. so do you wanna reschedule or-”
you didn’t think twice before responding by shaking your hands in front of you. “no! i trust you with it! it’s just a word anyway.” the words easily slipped out of your tongue, not a hint of doubt in the spark that glimmered in your orbs.
“but it’s your first tattoo-” wooyoung replied with notorious insecureness in his tone and you, unbothered, interrupted him.
“come on!” you spoke as you lifted your dark purple oversized sweater’s sleeve, revealing your soft skin to his fox-like eyes which doubted for a second before resting his slim, latex-covered fingers on your exposed skin. you were able to see a very close-up of the touch of his fingers against your skin, your hair standing on end as a result. his fingers sent shivers and sparks down your whole anatomy, a weird feeling forming in your belly and chest. you felt how his touch dragging flowers through the meadow of your complexion, creating the most beautiful garden.
who would say that that boy who marked your skin for life with his art would now be the one with whom you wake up every day, the one to whom you trust your most intimate secrets, the one whom you love and kiss every day. the one that makes you see stars.
like now, fucking his fingers sloppily from all the right angles into your wet cunt.
“youngie, wait i- hgh- i don’t wanna cum yet.” you whine as you grip the silk, champagne-colored sheets underneath you. he has spent a generous amount of time prepping you, playing way too much with your sensitive clit. and that has brought you to the brink of abyss. you want to cum when he finally fills you with his rock-hardened cock, but wooyoung seems to have no intention of stopping. he is a hundred-percent committed in making you cum as much as you physically can.
“huh? what’s that, sweetheart? didn’t quite catch that.” he mocks at you, deepening his index and middle fingers inside you and putting his thumb to work on your bud’s stimulation. a desperate cry bubbling out your throat. “but stop crying, baby. so you can respond.” his non-working hand releases its firm grip on your hip and moves up to your cheek to stroke it in the most gently way.
your voice lets you down, your tone drowning in the blubber that erupts from your lips once your body feels the consequences of wooyoung’s incessant thumb swaying over your clit. the palms of your hands sheltering your reddened cheeks.
he chuckles at the sight of you, “covering your face when you’re dripping all over my fingers?” he withdraws his fingers from your warm interior, your walls clenching around nothing due to the nostalgia of being satisfyingly full. he then covers your hands with his and takes them away from your blissed expression and pecks your lips briefly. “shameless.” 
he gets on his knees in between your legs, his hands pushing them apart before he bends over your figure, trapping you between his strong, tattooed arms. you have tried in the past putting your legs on his shoulder; and yes, he does push further than usual, but it was an uncomfortable and painful position for you. so you opted for simpler things, nothing so difficult so that it replaces pleasure with pain. wooyoung always puts your satisfaction over his, doing everything he can to give you the most toe-curling orgasm every time. and he never fails. 
your hands instinctively find comfort on his back, your fingers mindlessly stroking his back tattoo. “i’m putting it in, love.” he murmurs against the crook of your neck as he pushes in further and further, your nails digging onto his bare back. the combination of a masculine grunt and a whimper floats in the air, which is getting heavier and heavier. 
“holy shit- ah, wooyoung. you’re so.. fucking deep.” you blubber as you feel his cockhead faintly rubbing your g-spot. his thrusts are precise and strong, driving you quickly over the edge. his sighs blowing on your face as almost invisible clouds because of the humidity generated by the situation. 
“fuck baby. you feel so soft and warm. and tight” he exhals, some strands of hair sticking to his sweaty forehead. he does some kind of push-up to come down your face and kiss your swollen, red lips frantically. your tongues fighting and his winning over yours. “wanna stay inside you forever. ah.” wooyoung pants out his words, hips still going and knocking a little more roughly against your cunt with every push.
“i know you can give me a little more, though” he pants raspily, totally out of breath. your fucked-out mind can only process something about ‘wanting more’ or something like that, you don’t know, way too gone to even say your name without stumbling with your own words. you can only understand what he says when his very familiar touch lingers strokes on your clit, so swollen and tired of overstimulation. the cute, pleasured sounds coming out of you only encouraged him to speed up his fingers and his hips as well. he practically is wanting to break you completely until you aren’t able to even recognize where you are, your name or how much is two plus two. and wooyoung finds your current state quite amusing, so he starts to imitate you, mocking your broken sobs and pathetic mewls exaggeratedly. 
“if only you could listen to you right now. but you aren’t even listening to me, are you, doll?” he teases, enjoying a bit too much the tears that pitifully stream down your face profusely. your eyebrows furrow together, your thighs shake more than usual and you start feeling lightheaded; you’re about to fall into the abyss of pleasure and wooyoung is more than happy to receive your warm, dripping juices. 
“oh fuck, youngie. ’m gonna cum. you’re gonna make me cum. please let me... fuck... please, i—” you give up on the rambling begging and let yourself just helplessly whine and mewl.
“i know, my love. go on, cum for your youngie. make me proud, angel.” he encourages you, his fingers keeping a steady pace on your bud as well as his thrusts. three or four more are more than enough to melt you under his divine touch as your throat lets out the very last shriek of the night. “ah you’re so good, so fucking tight for your youngie, aren’t you? ugh” he shakes above you as he lets out a moan that sounded more like a cry. he quickly, but carefully pulls out, your body shuddering at the sudden emptiness, releasing hot shots of cum over your belly, painting your navel’s surroundings with pearl-like spurts.
he finally lets his body surrender to the overwhelming tiredness, collapsing above you.
“wooyoung. love. get off of me, i can’t breathe.” you speak, receiving a drowned and unbothered ‘mm’ as a response. you chuckle with the little strength you have left, “at least get off of my arm?” you try to negotiate with him the dumbest thing ever. but he finally does as told and moves a little to the side, releasing your right arm from his weight, “there you go. see? it wasn’t that hard.”
“hush. i’m sleepy. and tired” he mentions separately in a grumpy tone. of course, how could you forget the grumpiness that wraps your boyfriend when he runs out of energy?
“fine, babygirl.”
“don’t call me that!”
| masterlist
Tumblr media
747 notes · View notes
thatdeadaquarius · 1 year ago
Note
HELP I JUST HAD A THOUGH
WHAT IF
What if....
Blunt reader became a harbinger
I have NO idea how that would go but im here for the crack lol
I BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE-
(and to use this gif more importantly they're all so hot here lol)
Tumblr media
Sun: Reader (you/they/them), Blunt Language AU :D
Orbit: Headcanons-ish, crack treated srsly (yes im using ao3 tags atp)
Stars: Harbingers!
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: none known & Trigger Warnings: none known.
Please comment if I missed any. /gen
SO thought I’d update anyone missing out bc of the new year but-
I made this silly thing called Blunt Language AU, that was my 1st post for this blog/fandom actually! :D
I’ll link it here, but TLDR: it’s just our modern speech sounding “ancient” to the Teyvatians, who speak really flowery/fluffy/lots of context in comparison!
That’s all you rlly need to know to read this I think, so enjoy! :)
u fall into Genshin Impact, and Snezhnaya is where you land first type of energy lol
weird golden star falling from the sky? that sounds like a prophecy the Tsaritsa knows abt alright
so they sent Childe, one of the friendliest (if not The Friendliest) Harbinger, to see if it was a valid claim you’d finally descended,
and ofc as soon as the redhead heard you try and talk to him, he knew the claims by the small village nearby (who had taken u in from the cold weather/taken care of you) were legit
pantalone did manage to squeeze some examples of what you’d possibly sound like into his head before he left so while Childe personally has a tough time talking to you, it doesn't mean he’s not willing to try!! >:)
he mostly just kept asking questions forever until he understood what you meant, and as soon he got u were asking abt the Tsaritsa, the other Harbingers, himself, even how to get Sneznayan-made clothes lol
he was like: 👀👀👀???!!!!
it wasn't so much recruitment at first as it was “omg the exalted one wishes to learn abt us, the Tsaritsa and her Harbingers? abt me?? well would your highness like to come to our palace perchance???!!!!”
= have u ever been seduced and worshipped by a god and her country?? would you like to- ??? ← Childe actually
and with that convinces you to come straight to the Harbingers/Tsaritsa’s very home
No, you’re not just spoiled.
No, you’re not just pampered.
You are cosseted and coveted.
The Tsaritsa makes her first in person appearance to the people in decades to personally announce your return, and to get a festival going to literally parade you into the capital lol
And tbh it was kind of shocking how quickly the people of Snezhnaya are able to whip out the party supplies, within days of traveling via horses/sleds/carriage/trains all kinds of transportation, u arrived at the capital in full swing of a parade for you
The Tsaritsa herself in what looks like a genshin-ified kokoshnik, the elaborate headress draped with a veil so thin it looks like frost covering her face,
flocked on either side by her harbingers in full (kinda goth) ceremonial outfits waiting on your arrival too
needless to say you are properly smitten intimidated
and you stay nervous around them for the first few days or so,
that is before you run into the weekly, what you would call “family dinner nights”, but they call “dinner reports”…
in which Childe, the only one you’d been comfortable enough around to be a bit more genuine to, and surprisingly the only one to quickly adapt to your speech after traveling with you for days, would translate for you what tf you were saying to them vs. what everyone at the table was saying to you/around you
you would also like to propose other titles for these weekly dinner meetings you’re invited to, aka “family feud dinner night/family fight night/harbinger on harbinger hate night/fruit on fruit crimes, if you will” 💀
the Tsaritsa is just peacefully talking to you abt any and everything, bc ofc Pierro’s on her right, and ur on her left
(she and Pierro are surprisingly soft spoken, very polite, and able to say something interesting/take an interest in whatever subject you all end up on)
u don't think you've ever been more comfortable and on such equal footing around ppl sm older than you (what are older ppl to you, but to them ur literally fucking eldritch with how ancient u are, and u can tell with how they treat u like it lmao)
hard cut back to the rest of the table:
an argument that just gets louder and louder has broken out between Childe, Dottore, La Signora, and Pantalone abt who should get free time with you first/get to do smth with you first as you get over ur adjustment period here, Childe has taken his butter knife to throw and just barely missed Dottore’s eye, and it is now embedded in the back of his fancy chair (the servants placing down dinner courses just move abt w/the most bored expressions on their faces)
(u send half the table if this group gets out of hand and u just: “Please shut the fuck up, each of ur comebacks take 30 minutes and it’s killing me” 💀 bc they're the most likely to understand u too, even Pierro/Capitano/Pulcinella chuckle a little, and u think the Tsaritsa smirked under her veil)
ur honestly too scared to see what Scarmouche, Sandrone, and Arlecchino are arguing about, because they're arguing so silently further down the table. They have murder in their eyes.
Columbina and Capitano are having a peaceful collab over weapons, armor, and clothing to offer you, Pulcinella is close enough to both participate in that convo and in you, Pierro, and the Tsaritsa’s convos too
by the 2nd week you've decided to choose chaos, and get them to play board games together sometimes (they cant all make it all the time, tbh u don't know if u can handle that either) but groups of them will play at a time
u remembered early on what a dick Dottore was, and sentenced asked if he’d like to play this new board game called “Monopoly” from ur world with Childe, Pantalone, Pierro, Arlecchino, La Signora, and Scaramouche all together :)
(so what ur trying to bring khaenri’ah part 2 down on his head as punishment?? u owe scara and collei that at least)
Columbina is more than happy to help get you Harbinger-like clothes to wear since ur so interested in the style!! (yes yesss get converted, she already has a title picked out for you)
she also giggles anytime u talk abt whether u like an outfit or not, bc u just “no thank you I’d rather wear a trash bag than that shirt, but lets try another?”
meanwhile the tailors in the background u could literally edit them to one of those videos where it just zooms in on their faces with a vine boom of shock
like Pierro, ur unranked, just above the other Harbingers really, as it wouldn't do to make you the 12th Harbinger or smth
the names they gave you being, “The Playwright” or “The Renaissance” or even “Drammaturgo”
(pls anyone who speaks Italian correct if I'm wrong ToT )
ok but the first time, unsurprisingly, one of them got snappy with you, likely Scara I would think,
Scaramouche, pissy: “And what shall we do if it appears our almighty god is perhaps a descender who is entirely human? Why I dare say you’d be transgressing on privileges that were never yours to begin with!”
Every other Harbinger, the Tsaritsa herself, the servants, the frost on the walls: 😶😦😨😶‍🌫️
You, unbothered, still eating and fully expecting this moment: “I don't want to hear it from someone who has god-mommy issues. You shouldn’t have an opinion about me, ur biased.”
yeah, so obviously, they’re emotionally all attached now whether they know it or not, and this was of course the moment they realized they're god would fit in so perfectly here
(the other nations are going to have to pry you from Snezhnaya from their cold dead hands, esp since u now have legal deniability to visit bc ur technically a Harbinger, only commanded by her majesty lol)
(Scaramouche, Arlecchino, and Sandrone were fighting about who gets the room nearest to your quarters lol)
(Capitano won, somehow??)
sorry ive been slow lately guys, been just trying to work on alllll the fics these past weeks/days/however long its been??
anyway had the shift from hell last week so wish me luck with work this week if u see this 😭
hope u enjoyed this old ask/crack treated srsly post orah!! :D
Safe Travels,
💀♒
Tumblr media
If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"
(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")
♡the beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit
@kiyomi-uchiha777
1K notes · View notes
fuctacles · 6 months ago
Text
<<😺😺😺😺 | 😺😺😺😺😺😺>>
if i didn't respond to your comment it's bc desktop tumblr didn't let me, I still love and appreciate y'all
Tumblr media
Maybe tomorrow he'd bring his book here, and keep the cats company while he reads. Would they like it if he read it out loud?
Oh lord, the crazy cat lady energy must be rubbing off on him already.
The cats certainly are. He looks down at his black attire now speckled with cat hair, and sighs. He should have asked Steph where the lint roller was before she left. With great effort, he stands up from the comfy couch, vowing to himself to only do a cursory search with no unnecessary peeking. 
The entrance seems like an obvious start since people like to de-hair themselves before leaving the house. The dresser next to the door is cluttered with typical things - sunglasses, hand lotion, chapstick, some loose change, and jewelry. No roller in sight. So he goes to the kitchen instead, because kitchen is where everything goes. The cats are watching him curiously from their chosen perches around the house.
"Stop it. This is all your fault."
He finally finds what he's looking for on a windowsill next to a dead fly. He starts cleaning his clothes there, next to the fridge, and its colorful display catches his attention. 
There's an Ewok magnet that looks handmade, holding up a birthday card, and a few holiday photos, capturing smiling people in swimming costumes. Some of them look older, like the photo of a kid in a wizard robe, or a pair of bloodied-up teenagers in sailor costumes, which must be a very obscure reference because Eddie hasn't seen it at any costume party before. 
The caption under the photo reads BFF but someone added a circle of smaller F's all around the photo, turning them into a frame. Which, if Eddie's connecting the dots correctly, would imply that it's Robin and Steph. The quality isn't the best, but at first glance, he's assumed it must be a family member, maybe a brother, but he remembers her saying she's an only child. 
He tracks the other photos, but most of them are new, of the Steph he already knows. There might be more around the apartment, though. 
But he's already rolled his shirt and he'll be back tomorrow morning anyway, so he quickly works on his pants' legs, gives the cats a wave, and leaves. 
Tumblr media
While walking back, he's apparently so lost in his thoughts, he gets startled by his own uncle.
"The cats still alive?"
"Do you want?! Me?! To die?!" Eddie screeches, eyes wide and a hand on his heart, the other holding him upright against the wall. "Why the fuck are you sitting there in the dark?!"
Wayne looks pointedly at the lamp next to him, then to his nephew. Aside from his reading nook in the corner though, the living room has no other light sources right now, but Eddie just throws his hands in defeat, deciding not to argue. Especially not when his uncle finally folded and was reading Blade Runner. 
"Must have been thinking some guilty thoughts, huh?" 
"Excuse me?" Eddie takes a step back from his course towards the kitchen. His uncle was flipping a page in his book, clearly not reading but not looking up from it either. 
"To get scared like that. Did you do something bad, son?" He finally looks up, and Eddie doesn't like it. He looks exactly like his friends just before teasing him about something. "Saw something you shouldn't have?"
Eddie folds his arms and sticks his nose up, hoping the evening darkness hides his warming cheeks. 
"I don't know what kind of panty raiding you do up there, but I'm not a pervert."
"Panty riding, huh?" Wayne raises his eyebrows in interest. "That what you boys do in college these days?"
"Do you want a sandwich? Some tea maybe?" Eddie has already turned his back to him and is switching the light on in the kitchen. "And the cats are fine, thanks for asking!"
"Yes and yes. Thank you!" 
Eddie prepares them sandwiches and teas and grabs his own book so they can read in silence waiting for the evening news. It's nice to have this, a break from busy and loud college life, just sharing silence and love for books with his uncle. 
That is, of course, until Wayne looks at his watch and puts the book down to exchange it for a remote. Eddie likes to keep his nose in the book until the news become too distracting or he catches something interesting being reported on. His uncle has other plans for him this time. 
"You know it's alright to like her, right?"
Eddie lowers his book, slightly incredulous that Wayne is still talking about it. He looks at him with wide eyes.
"You really want me to fuck your neighbor, huh?"
Finally, his uncle gets a taste of his own medicine, almost choking on the tea that he unfortunately decided to sip on at that moment. Eddie: one, Wayne: zero.
But later, the score evened out again, as all Eddie could think of while trying to sleep were the pictures on the fridge, and plowing his uncle's neighbor into her mattress until she screamed. 
Tumblr media
The next morning, with not enough sleep under his belt, Eddie skips two sets at a time, because he totally absolutely royally forgot about the fucking plant. 
He fumbles with the keys, can hear the inquisitive meows on the other side of the door, and once he's in he takes a beeline to the kitchen, ignoring the little creatures following him like they have been starving on the streets and he was a fresh batch of tuna factory waste.
The plant looks normal, the same as it did 24 hours ago, and he waters it as per instructions while trying not to even brush its leaves because he truly believes his touch might kill it. His track record with plants indicates so. Only then does he turn to the meowing bunch at his feet. 
"Hello, little demons. Time to feast."
The cats are fed, their mouths making unpleasant wet noises against the equally wet food, and Eddie has a moment to take a curious walk around the place, in search of more photos.
He finds a wedding photo, with Steph in a pink dress and stunning make up dancing with a man with curly hair. There's one from a barbecue, where Steph is being hugged by a tall man with a mustache. She's wearing jean shorts and a sweater in this one, and somehow, looks a bit off. It looks older than the wedding one. 
But a true treasure chest is the huge frame he finds above a small bookcase.
It's a collage titled 'The fucking journey' that seems to be a collection of Polaroids from a multitude of workplaces, with the same two people present. Year after year, one job after another, until they got where they are today. 
It starts with a 1983 and the sailor costumes he's already seen. They are less bruised and more tired in this one. Knowing where to start, Eddie's eyes track from one photo to another, observing Stephanie's features, her wardrobe, and her hair change until she becomes the woman she is today. 
There was no boy in that photo on the fridge. It's always been her. Growing into herself. 
Is this what his uncle was talking about? Well, not talking, but being annoyingly vague about it, like he wasn't sure what he was talking about himself. 
Fear not, Uncle Wayne. Eddie's going to pick up every pamphlet and every zine he can put his hands on, to educate them both about who their neighbor is, how to navigate the topic and respect her the way she deserves.
Tumblr media
ko-fi
334 notes · View notes
yimpysdiner · 18 days ago
Text
Ridiculously long analysis of Jimmy's dialogue (PART 2)
PART 1 HERE Continuing with the next section,
Mimicking?
The whole ordeal of Jimmy copying Curly's "yeah?" in speech has already been pointed out, but there's something else I wanted to look into. This section is gonna be relatively short but this interaction still sticks with me. It's fairly easy to miss as you can brush it off but given Jimmy often repeats words or phrases from those around him I find it interesting.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
This interaction was so awkward that it has me thinking about it over and over so honestly this may be one big nothing burger and more so headcanon territory but hear me out.
Jimmy gets quiet here as either 1, he expects them all to die on that ship as he said before crashing it or 2, he's terrified of any sort of attention their whole ordeal may get if they survive. The awkward silence is only filled by him commenting on ladies. Daisuke is no stranger to talking about "beach babes" and as Swansea puts it, "thinking with his downstairs long-nose." Honestly, Jimmy is a scumbag and gross around women, but I don't think this is the sort of situation where he cares to be impressing any ladies. This reads to me as him trying to "fit in" with Daisuke in a way. The way he often mimics people and says things they'd relate to defuse situations and get on their good sides feels like a form of masking. I'm no professional, no idea what in specific this would be, but Jimmy strikes me as the kind of guy who finds it really difficult to positively navigate a lot of social situations, especially if he feels uneasy like he was here. This parts super rambly sorry, this is just something interesting about him to me, how he'll latch on to other people's personality traits and mirror them.
Lashing out
We all already know Jimmy's not a very stable guy, very small things irritate him, he has levels to his anger however.
His base line irritation is just little remarks like this, things that you would scratch your head at but they're small so you can't quite bring them up. It's not completely aggressive, but it's definitely not very friendly either
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I won't shove all the same screenshots of him lashing out during the birthday party here, but there he only lashes out in front of everyone else when he's able to make it seem like he's in the right. He insults everyone to their faces, but he's able to pin all the blame on Curly, letting out his anger while also in some sort of way getting people on his "side." Here he's *already* sewing seeds of doubt about Curly into the other's mind, so his little plan to blame Curly for the crash later on only works out all the more in his favor.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Then there's moments like when he's giving Curly his pills. He isn't exactly yelling, more so going on with his angry, paranoid rambles. This of course is followed by the implication he beats Curly while feeding him his painkillers, physically taking out his anger on someone who can't fight back. Side note, the only times he ever gets physical is when they're in a position of being unable to fight back (drugging Swansea, the implied drugging of Anya, and of course when Curly is left defenseless.)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I believe this is the first instance of Jimmy actually full on yelling while having one of his tantrums, which is why I say his anger is written in levels. It's not all one flat base of him cussing like a sailor and screaming his head off, remembering this and *what* exactly makes him tick helps me when deciding how I should write him reacting to certain situations. There's other instances where he's clearly panicked and flustered, stuttering and rambling because of high stress situations such as when Daisuke is on the brink of death and it's all his fault, which we'll get to later.
Hopelessness
Something I noticed when going back through everything is Jimmy seems completely and utterly hopeless about everything in his life. It starts out in the cockpit scene, one of the very few times he's genuinely vulnerable.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This line initially just seems like Jimmy is some power tripping guy who likes being the right hand man to the Captain, which is entirely possible (and true, given how quick he is to assume the Captains role himself), but it leads me to suspect something else as well.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
These are out of order, but I think like this is better demonstrates Jimmy has never really felt the sense of control over his life like he has until he got this gig with Curly. He feels comfortable like this, which is why Curly wanting to "throw it all away" in his eyes baffles him. I really wish the devs gave some insight to what Jimmy's life on Earth was, why *he* ran from it all to assume a position where he felt he was finally in the drivers seat.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
When Jimmy is faced with the reality of what he's done, his first worry is when he gets back home, he'll be caged in the same position he was, back at square one with no control over his life, rotting in a prison. Even if he did get out, as he said, none of it will matter, not with an assault on his permanent record. Maybe he held onto hope that he and Curly would find something new to do, but because he made the choice to force himself on Anya, that'll never happen. His knee jerk reaction to that? Kill himself. Kill himself and take everyone down with him, because if he's not in control, he may as well be dead. "The Tulpar crew was never found."
Remorse
Jimmy isn't entirely uncaring for what he's done. He suffers delusions for each and every one of the people he fucked over, all except Anya. Instead, he sees visions of the child he created, the ever looming reminder of what he did, no matter how hard he tried to block out Anya from his mind, it will always, always haunt him. Him crying to Curly and pleading forgiveness from someone who can't properly give it to him anymore is already a sort of in your face scene, that and the scenes with the horse delusions.
I want to talk about Daisuke and Swansea actually, as he had a much more direct role in their ends. In his mind he can say, oh, Curly ran in and did that to himself, oh, Anya swallowed those pills and did that to herself. It's Daisuke and Swansea who show up more broadly as themselves in his delusions as he was the sole reason for their passing. As Daisuke is dying, he is incredibly distressed the entire time.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Daisuke being so prominent in his mind has always struck me as interesting, seeing him in the vent, a grave, in the graveyard, all the flowers, the real genuine panic when trying to fix what he did. He never wanted him to die, he obviously feels immense guilt in making him crawl through that vent.
As for Swansea, Swansea can read him like a book, and he lets Jimmy know exactly what he thinks of him before he's shot and killed. He appears in the graveyard with Jimmy, also leaving a lasting impact on Jimmy's psyche.
To say Jimmy feels nothing over what he's done, or that he wouldn't care about people dying or anything like that is wrong on so many levels when the entire last half of the game focuses on him having to literally fight his own demons. It all culminates into him saying he fixed everything, deluding himself into being a hero as some sort of final comfort to his broken mind before he offs himself, "saving" Curly after dismembering him as if that makes up for all his wrongdoings. Jimmy is so layered and interesting and human, and that's what makes him a fantastically written character. It's what allows you to see yourself in him and reflect, see those insecurities he harbors, those toxic traits he exhibits, every little ugly part of him meant to be a mirror to your own actions. Denying him his humanity and making him an emotionless, aggressive, constantly angry person strips him of everything he's meant to be.
Sorry for the huuuuge yapsesh, but I thought going over these would be fun, it also helps me keep my characterization of him as accurate as I can possibly make it. If you have any thoughts let me know!!! I am very very invested in him and I love to hear what others think of him, even if I may agree or disagree.
169 notes · View notes
eroscomet · 5 months ago
Text
Make it Right
Chapter two- Hauting for Home
┗━━━✦❘༻♡༺❘✦━━━┛
Paring: Astrid Deetz x Fem!Ghost!Reader
Warnings: Mentions death, a bit angsty, bad writing. (Let me know if I missed anything!)
Word count: 3k+
A/N: Hello, lovelies! I'm so sorry that this chapter took a while to make. I was busy on the weekend; however, I found time to finally finish the chapter for you all! I really do hope you guys enjoy this one! I will try to get a specific schedule for updates on certain stories. If you guys are wondering about updates for 'Picking Up Pieces That Aren't Yours,' I will try to update that as soon as possible. I will also be doing a couple drabbles on different characters and or drabbles of characters I've already written for. I would also like to thank you guys so much for all the support you all have been showing me! I am so thankful and grateful for each and every one of you! Thank you so much for every like, reblog, and comment, it means a lot to me!
Not proof read
╰┈➤Series Masterlist
┗━━━✦❘༻♡༺❘✦━━━┛
Tumblr media
┏━━━✦❘༻♡༺❘✦━━━┓
"You talked to my dad?!" Astrid had exclaimed with an amused smile on her face. There it was, that twinkle in her eye that you had missed so much. She hadn't been very happy recently, with you not around and everything else in her life that had been happening.
"Yeah, when I had first died. I got sent to the immigration office, and what do you know? There he was behind the glass. He's just as kind as you always told me he'd be. Surprisingly, he immediately recognized me. He told me that he had been watching after you and practically watched our love 'blossom,' as he put it." The two of you continued walking outside.
You couldn't help but think about how people must be seeing this. Astrid looked as if she were talking to herself from an outside perspective. Aware of her past, you knew people had a tendency to bully her, so when nearing Miss Shannon's School for Girls, you tried to get her to talk as much so that others wouldn't look at her funny. So, you took up most of the time on the way there, talking as much as she could so that she didn't have time to talk. Which was odd because she was usually the one who'd talk while you'd listen.
"He said he liked me, which is a relief. Sometimes, I feel like your mom is more confused but is trying to be supportive. I mean, remember when I had first come over, and she started talking about how she too 'experimented' as she said. Anyway, that isn't the point. I met your dad, and we actually frequently visited you together. It's funny, sometimes we'd bond over how much we missed you."
Astrid's eyes had furrowed as she had begun to notice that every time she began or wanted to speak, you only spoke faster, almost sputtering out information. A frown tugged at your lips as she had caught on.
"I just don't want people to look at you even more weirder than they already do. If you're talking to yourself, they'll find that an easy target. Try...putting on some headphones and pretending you're on the phone? Or you can just put your phone up to your ear?"
She smiled as she took her phone out of her pocket and brought it up to her ear.
"Thanks, you're right. So, what else did he say about me? Did you see my grandfather? What's the afterlife like?" Astrid felt like she had a million different questions to ask.
"Your dad says he's proud of you and that he sees himself in you all the time. As for your grandpa, no. I mean, I feel as if it's harder to find him since he did lose his head to a shark. The afterlife is a bit weird. I can't tell you much about it since I haven't exactly crossed over. I basically only know what headquarters and a few shops look like. I mean, there's a 'Soul Train' which essentially takes you to the 'Great Beyond,' but I never went because I don't want to risk not being able to watch over you."
You grabbed Astid's shoulders, moving beside her to walk toward the street end of the sidewalk. Even though you were dead, the sidewalk rule never really left you, even while Astrid couldn't even see you.
"Yeah, I figured. I almost can't believe that a shark bite ended his life, I knew my family wasn't normal, but we can't even have a somewhat normal death? The Great Beyond, huh? Soul Train is a clever name though. Does no one know what's on the side?"
"I mean, I've never seen someone leave then come back from the train in the full year, almost two years that I've been here. I'm not taking the risk and crossing anyway, I can't lose you again after we just got back to each other."
"You're right..." Her eyebrows furrowed, her attention on the sidewalk as they continued to walk. She thought to herself for a moment before speaking again.
"So, you don't have any ghost tricks you learned?"
"Of course, you'd ask that, would you be disappointed in me if I said I didn't?"
"I mean, you've been gone for a year almost two, I'd expect you to know at least something to make me feel better for all the time you've been gone."
"Okay, uhhh... I can walk through walls and, I guess, float a bit."
"That sounds like every other ghost."
"Just because i'm a ghost doesn't mean I have super powers, Astrid."
"Just saying."
"I mean, I do have this nasty scar from the accident." You lowered your shirt neckline, showing the scar on the lower part of your neck. Astrid winced at the scar before looking away.
"Right. Weird how all it took was one neck twist for you to die.
"Well, it's more like my neck twisted as if I was a cartoon character that got punched, and my head began spinning-"
"Ew, shut up. Don't talk about it like it's something light."
"I'm sorry, you're right."
It was silent for a bit as you guys walked into the school, Astrid opened one of the doors while you phased right through the other door. Astird put her phone back into her pocket as she walked upstairs and past the other students. You followed after her, your eyebrows furrowing at the other students nearby her dorm. Some of them whispering to each other while giggling.
That's when Astrid opened her dorm room's door, a bedsheet attached to the ceiling by a rope coming straight towards her. The bedsheet makes out a ghost with a 'Boo' sign in its chest area. Astrid stumbled back before turning around and looking at the other girls, who began to burst out into laughter behind her.
"When you're all driving carpool and banging your pilates instructor to fill the empty voids in your life, we'll see who gets the last laugh."
The girls smiles and laughs quickly died as she finished speaking. Astrid turned around as she went into her room, shutting the door behind her. You smiled proudly, a laugh escaping you as you saw the looks on the girls faces as they disburst from Astrid's door.
"Witty as always." You said as you phased through her dorm room's door. The make-shift ghost on the ceiling startling you a bit as you had almost 'ran' into it. Sometimes you forget you're a ghost even if it's been a year.
"They have not toned down with the comments? You had always been careful about this topic, not wanting to bring it up too much with Astrid.
"No." It was a simple and straightforward answer that made you not want to question further. A part of you felt angry that you were helpless to all of it now that you're dead. You had gotten so used to defending her against everyone but now your words would only fall on deaf ears.
You sighed as you plopped yourself onto her dorm room's bed, thinkiing for a moment on how to steer away the conversation of bullying that she obviously did not want to talk about.
"Did you hear that my sister's pregnant? I know that I shouldn't bother looking over them since they're perfectly fine.."
"I'm not surprised."
"She's naming the baby after me."
"God, that's ridiculous! Naming their kid after a relative who isn't even dead yet-" Astrid's voice faltered for a moment. The fact that you were dead and have been for almost two years was still a punch in the gut after all this time.
"That's what I said, baby." You offered her a small smile as you played into the bit that you were still alive for Astrid. She still wanted to make her at least feel a bit better.
'Baby.'
Your words - and your smile, even if it was for her benefit - just made Astrid's heart twist further in her chest.
"You're killing me here."
"Why?" Your head tilted to the side as you looked at her.
"Because you're supposed to be dead." Her voice came out in a strangled whisper as she looked down at the papers scattered on her desk.
You bit your lip, you didn't want to show that what Astrid had said hurt you. Even if you were dead, you still had emotions and feelings. You paused for a moment before deciding to drop the topic.
"So, they're having a baby shower. You should go."
"Oh god, a baby shower? Is it too late to make you disappear again?" Her face had immediately scrunched up with distaste at the idea of being forced to go to a baby shower - especially your self-centered sister's baby shower where she'd name her child after you for her own gain.
"Come on, you couldn't see me for a whole year, and now that you're finally able to, you already want to get rid of me? That's cold, babe, even for you. Even for me who's dead cold. Get it? Huh? Dead cold. Because i'm dead? And i'm cold now because I have no blood. No? Okay."
"Oof, that was horrible." She said as she shook her head and grumbled in response.
"Come on, admit you missed me. I heard all your late-night talks that you thought weren't reaching my ears."
"I did miss you - I've missed you for a whole year." She confessed, sounding a bit surprised by her own confession. The room fell silent, the weight of everything that had happened falling onto the both of them. Neither of them wanted to address it, though, they didn't want to have to deal with it now.
"Did you ever-" She paused for a moment as she thought of the right words to say, "When I'd lay in your bed and mope, were you just...watching me?"
"No, I hated that. I'd still do what I would've done if I were alive. I tried holding you and whispering sweet nothings into your ear that never got to you."
"Sweet nothings, huh?" She teased, which earned an eye roll from you. Again, the room had fell silent as the two were lost in thought before Astrid spoke again, breaking the silence.
"How bad did it hurt?"
"Uh.. Well... I just remember being on the ground one second, then in the air the next. I landed, and well- You know what. It had hurt for that second that I was alive, but it had been an instant death if anything."
Having to talk about your death wasn't an easy topic. It was a reminder of how quick you had lost it all. The blood in your system, the beat of your heart, Astrid. The sight of you nervously fidgeting with your own fingers made Astrid's heart ache.
"I hate that." She muttered, her voice coming in strained, almost as if she was forcing herself to get the words out.
"I'm sorry." Your words were mumbled as she continued to fidget with your fingers, now more anxiously than before. The apology caused Astrid to shut her eyes, trying to hold herself together. She felt that now was not the time to start breaking down.
"Don't. Don't apologize." She had almost snapped at you as she opened her eyes to shoot a glare at you.
"Okay." You were never one to go against her word, you didn't want to start a fight. Especially not now. All you could do was bring up one of your hands, beginning to gently pull on the hairs on the back of your neck as you avoided Astrid's eyes.
"Is that a nervous habit of yours now? Pulling your hair." She asked as she reached her hand out idly to brush your hair out of your eyes.
"I had gotten it when I first reached the afterlife. When you watch the people you love hurting, and all you can do is ghost around them..." Your voice had faltered, forcing yourself to clear your throat and then begin to speak again.
"You feel so helpless. Watching everyone who used to be around you and love you so miserable about your death. It makes you feel guilty but, most of all, useless. There's no way to hold, touch, talk to, comfort them... It's hard."
The room had fallen silent after your words. Astrid's fingertips gently brushed along the back of your head - tracing the place that you usually pulled at. She let her hand rest there, trying to keep you from pulling at your hair again.
"How cold am I?"
Your words made Astrid pause for a moment. Leaning closer to you as she wrapped an arm around her now ghost girlfriend. The chill of your skin made her shiver involuntarily - but Astrid tried not to show the way her body automatically wanted to shy away from the cold.
"Really damn cold. It's like you're an ice cube almost." Her words a mumble as she got closer to you, laying next to you as she rested her head on top of yours.
"I'm sorry that I'm not warm anymore." Your own words come out as a mumble as well, instinctively, your head rests on her shoulder.
"I know you don't much like when it's really cold. I thought I was keeping myself with this sweater but now that someone's actually able to touch me, I realize it's doing nothing for me."
"Gosh, you don't have to apologize for that. At least you're here." She pulled you closer against her, her arms wrapping around your waist - burtying her face into your shoulder, even if your skin was freezing and caused a slight burn against her own warm skin. She ignored the way that her body had involutarily shivered at the contact - focusing instead on the fact that her girlfriend was here.
"Barely." You mumbled quietly as you gently pulled away from your girlfriend, knowing that you were probably burning Astrid's skin with your own cold, dead skin that was now a pale blue hue.
"Don't be like that. You're talking as if you have no more hope."
"Death has a way of doing that."
Astrid let out a quiet huff at your words. Her eyes flickered back and forth from you and her own hands that were now gripped tightly on her bedding - but in the next moment, she let go. Almost as if with a full burst of speed, she darted to you. Her arms wrapping around your body, hauling you into her bed in a tight, crushing embrace.
"Astrid-" You had said in surprise and protest. You knew that you were cold. Dead. The cold would burn Astrid at one point, and you didn't want that. Not when you used to be alive and warm for her. You used to keep her warm and now you can only burn her with your icy dead skin.
"Don't even think about complaining. I don't care if you're cold." Astrid snapped as she held you impossibly close against her. Her body shivered once again as your cold skin was like a bucket of cold water dumped over her body - but she ignored the cold, focusing on the sensation of her girlfriend in her arms.
A frown had tugged at your lips, knowing that eventually, Astrid would get too cold, but after a year of being a lone ghost who watched your loved ones move on or suffer because of you, you couldn't help but be a little selfish. Your arms wrapped around her as tightly as you could.
You missed your girlfriend so much. Watching over her for a year, her suffering for a full year over your death, had done a number on you. You'd cry if you could, but all you felt was this deep internal sadness. You had no heartbeat, you had no blood to warm your body, you had no tears to shed from your dry eyes. Your chest was the most still it had ever been, you had no air to breathe anymore.
It had begun to feel like too much for the both of them. Being this close to each other after a year of thinking they'd never be able to have contact again, feeling each other's skin despite the feeling of a small burning on her own skin from your own. It was almost enough to make Astrid cry.
The cold was beginning to seep into her skin - making her shiver and leaving her skin prickled. But Astrid wouldn't - couldn't - let go of you. Not when it had been a year since she was able to hold you. You had only frowned as you held her tighter. A small hiss escaped Astrid from the cold contact as she tried to get herself impossibly closer to you.
"Damn it, it's getting too cold." She hissed, speaking between clenched teeth as she tried to bury her face into your shoulder further.
"Warm up with the blankets, I'll just lay beside you. I promise I won't disappear." You pulled away, gently moving Astrid off of yourself as you carefully pulled her bedsheets over her body. When you finished tucking her in, you lay beside her, admiring every detail you could land your eyes on.
She only huffed a bit, feeling oddly petulant about the fact that she had to let go of you However, she did as she was told. A small shiver rattled her body as her eyes locked onto yours. She managed to mumble something incohereently as she reached for you, trying to tug you close again.
"Too cold, baby. Just give it a moment. I'm here, you see me." You tried to reassure her as you gently tugged a strand of hair behind her ear.
'Baby.' The soft nickname only made her want to pull you close again, but she knew that you were right. Her body was cold - skin still pricked and burned from being in contact with her girlfriend. She snuggled further into the bedding, her hand gently reaching out to yours. Linking her own pinky with yours, causing you to smile. Her eyes looked into yours as if asking if it was okay to which you had nodded.
┗━━━✦❘༻♡༺❘✦━━━┛
A/N: I don't know why this felt like such a short chapter to me despite it being the most words I've written so far?? I might have some filler chapters for this and 'Picking Up Pieces That Aren't Yours' sometimes. Then again, there is still a lot to write for the storyline themselves. Thank you, lovelies, for all the support on my posts! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I'm so sorry if some days I do not have time to update. Also, if there's anyone that wants to be tagged for updates on this story, leave a comment saying so! Bye, loves!
193 notes · View notes
captn-trex · 1 month ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
After the Dust Settles / Elrond x Fem!Reader
summary: Elrond finds you after the fall of Eregion. Startled by the condition he’s in, you’d do anything to bring him the relief he needs.
warnings/tags: NSFW 18+ ONLY!!! hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, idiots in love (reader is the biggest idiot, sorry), healthy dose of mutual pining, reader is an elf, some miscommunication, minor injury and blood, smut, fingering, pinv sex, reader has medieval expectations and elrond exceeds because I! say! so!
a/n: alright, first non star wars fic on tumblr, whatever whatever. it’s not gonna become a thing unless... this man has not left my mind since the end of season 2 so here, have this. I am not the most well versed in The Lore pls don’t crucify me for it. [@jetii here it is, as promised]
writing masterlist / join my taglist / read on ao3 / word count: 6k
Tumblr media
Since the elves had been afforded sanctuary by the rings, you had been trying to busy yourself with any number of menial tasks to help ease minds, distract your own at all costs. The battle for Eregion had taken not only people’s lives, but the will of the ones who remained, and with what little of your sanity you had left you picked up where others could not face continuing.
You were inside the walls of the city when the orcs attacked, an archer on the last line of defence. The effort was futile, and it had been apparent even before the battle had begun. Watching so many of your kind fall into the clutches of death was more than you had bargained for, and something you wouldn’t soon forget. Your quiver and bow laid at your side, a piece of you unwilling to part from them still. 
Now in the safety of the valley, you had set up a small tent, where people could come to have their ailments tended to with a preferred level of privacy. You were no healer, but they were few and far between in present company, so you did what you could. The curtain of night had been drawn for some time, the first time since the end of the battle, and the amount of patients had dwindled into nothing a few hours ago while the sun still clung to the horizon. You were organising what few resources you did have, crouched to view the label of each vial in the small cabinet, and you missed the light scratching of the tent canvas as it slid open.
Your name was called from behind you in a quiet voice, almost sounding like a plea. You turned, finding your beloved friend Elrond standing rigid in the doorway of the tent, his eyes dark and unmoving from yours. His name left your lips in a hoarse whisper as you took in the sight of him. His skin was marred by dirt and blood, a gash cutting him open along the cheekbone, his posture uncharacteristically slumped and hair falling loosely around his face. He still wore his armour from the battle, painted much the same as his skin.
“I did not know if you—“ he seemed to stop himself from speaking, pressing his lips together as he hung his head. His eyes slid closed, and he took a deep, steadying breath. 
You raised yourself from the ground, taking a tentative step towards him, “what is it, Elrond?” 
His gaze raised to you once more at the sound of your voice, and he shook his head lightly, the tiniest of tired smiles lifting his lips, “I am glad you are safe, is all” 
“And you, my lord” you replied, stepping up to him properly now, and raising your hand to his chin to tip his head to the side. His hair fell across his forehead as you traced a finger along the underside of the cut, inspecting.
“Please, you know that is unnecessary” he insisted, taking another deep breath as he watched you carefully. You knew how the title irritated him so when passing your lips, the reason for its passing every time you saw him. “It does not hurt” he claimed, referring to his cut.
“I hear it’s Commander these days” you paid his comment no mind, instead taking in every small scratch that littered the surface of his skin. Your chest tightened at the sight, at the very idea of the elf before you being hurt, having death breathing down his neck. It was beyond relieving that he had made it through the battle.
Elrond’s face drew a tired expression, one of quiet exasperation at your persistence. His hand took hold of your forearm, “please, you need not fuss”
“It must be cleaned” you asserted, dropping your hands from his face and turning away. 
“Melnā, I do not need—”
“Take a seat” you spoke with no room for argument, ignoring the endearment that made your heart flutter as always, “I will return in a moment” 
Taking a step outside, you let yourself breathe in the night air. It really was beautiful here, the moon shining over the water and casting a cool glow along its surface, the trees gently swaying in the breeze as if cradled in its arms. You collected water from the stream just a short distance from the tent, your mind dwelling on the elf that stood just beyond its entrance.
You had known Elrond for what felt like lifetimes, and for any mortal it would have been. In all that time you had never ceased to be enamoured by him. It was quite impossible not to be. He was kind, giving without thought, an attentive healer and a good friend. Possibly that was why it was so odd that you found yourself in this position, or perhaps that was exactly why. He hadn’t come to you for healing, because that wasn’t what this was about, this was caring for him when he needed it most, whether he’d acknowledge it or not. 
He’d always been affectionate with you, in a way that you could face reciprocating. It was more his words than anything, which was not surprising in the least. Though proven a cunning warrior in surviving the recent conflict, his tongue had always been far sharper than his sword. He spoke with intention only, quiet when words held no meaning, avoiding pleasantries when he could, though he always took the time to spare you words of adulation that felt unearned from such a person.
No matter his insistence in speaking it, you could not return the affectionate nickname he called you; melnā. Beloved. It was too real, striking the very deepest part of your heart, where nothing but your love for him resided, festering.
You pulled aside the canvas of the tent, venturing back inside with the pot of water at your hip. Elrond sat in the chair as you had requested, his head tilted back, eyes closed, weighted down by lack of rest. You had never seen him so defeated. His back was curled against the chair, arms hanging limp against his thighs, one leg outstretched and the other falling out to the side. It was disheartening, to say the least, that this elf you knew to be strong-willed above all else was so beaten, inside and out.
You moved silently, not wishing to disturb his moment of peace. It may be the first chance he had had since the battle, after all. You retrieved a cloth, and tentatively approached his slumped figure. It was the sound of water trickling from the cloth that drew him from his stupor. His eyes opened and found yours as you stood hunched over the pot beside him, his posture straightening, more reminiscent of his usual demeanour.
“My apologies” he murmured.
“Your apologies are unnecessary” you spoke softly, wringing out the cloth, “please, rest if that is what your body calls for”
His brows pinched a little, offering a tender look that tugged at your heart. He was so unused to having kindness offered to him, being the one that so often gave it out, that you knew the simple notion had surprised him.
He slumped against the chair once again, eyes never leaving you as you folded the cloth into a neat square; an unnecessarily proper gesture that would soon be proved pointless as the white material became riddled with dirt and blood. You stepped around the pot so you stood in front of him, and took his chin between your fingers once more, tipping his head to get a better look at the wound. As the cool cloth met the warmth of his skin, all of his breath left him in a sharp exhale.
He flinched away only marginally, evidently trying to remain still against the sting. You whispered an apology, but continued on cleaning his wound until the regular hue of his skin shone through the grime. Thankfully the cut wasn’t deep, and really he was lucky to come away from the fight so unscathed where most fell. Though it didn’t stop the way your chest tightened at the simple idea of him being hurt.
Elrond had always been collected in a particularly admirable way, but now as his frustrations could be seen peeking through the cracks of his noble exterior, you were more worried than anything. Only months ago had he been the bright-eyed elf you knew, full of a certain hopefulness that seemed unending. Now as he sat before you, his grey eyes were dimmed, as if someone had snuffed his spark, the state of Middle Earth turning them cold, clouded. Where they had been the welcome mist of an early morning, there was now a storm brewing in them.
He was much changed from who he was, and your heart broke for him.
“You are hurting” he observed in a low voice. You hadn’t known he’d been watching you so closely.
You shook your head, avoiding his gaze, “I am unharmed” 
His eyebrows drew together as he turned his head, forcing you to stop your movements. “It is not your body” he claimed, taking your wrist as you tried to continue, “it is your mind”
The feel of his fingers wrapped around your skin, the unwavering scrutiny in his eyes, was dizzying. You tried to deny the way your stomach flipped, butterflies taking flight, but it was made difficult by the raising bumps along your skin, the heat that creeped up your neck.
“I did not realise you could read the thoughts of others, Elrond” you deflected, your tone light, almost jesting.
He scoffed quietly, his grip loosening on your wrist, “it was merely an informed assumption” 
“Informed” you chuckled as you resumed wiping the muck from his face, stepping forward a little, “pray tell?” 
“Your face betrays you” he claimed, turning his head away and spreading his knees wider for your ease.
You sighed, following the sharp line of his jaw with your eyes, clenched in pain of either flesh or mind, most likely both. You focused on cleaning the area, gently urging him to relax with smooth motions from his cheekbone down to his chin. His eyes closed with a soft breath leaving his lips, his mouth falling open. 
“It troubles me to see you this way, mellon nín” you confessed quietly, “it is so unlike you” 
He hummed thoughtfully, the corners of his mouth turning downwards in a deep frown, “It is just a small cut, it will be fixed in a matter of hours”
“It is not your wound that concerns me” you replied, an edge of stringency that you hadn’t intended. He looked up at you with a timidity to his gaze that was hard to ignore. His guard was up, and it was so foreign to see on his features. “May I speak plainly?”
The smallest smile reached his darkened eyes, “as if you would do anything but” 
A gentle laugh escaped you, creasing your eyes with a fondness before they grew sad. You skimmed the back of your fingers over his clean cheek very lightly, and he turned to face you once more. “I am worried for you, Elrond” you whispered, “you are much changed from the elf I once knew”
He sighed desperately, hanging his head, “it is not by any great effort of my own”
“I am aware” you returned, slipping your hand under his jaw to raise his head. The shame in his eyes was hard to bear, and you stroked your thumb across his cheek in a delicate gesture. “What can be done?”
“You need not worry about me” he assured, “wrongs will be righted in time, it is the way of things.” A long breath passed your lips as you stared down at him, worry never leaving your expression. Elrond lifted a hand to you, flattening his palm against the outside of your knee and rubbing up and down in a comforting manner, “please do not fret, melnā nín“
You could feel your cheeks burn at the endearment, and busied yourself by focusing on the task at hand, threading your fingers through the hair that fell over his forehead to push it back. “You should not call me that” you muttered, dragging the cloth over his temple.
“Why?” he rebutted softly, thumb tracing over the top of your knee, “because I am ‘changed’?” 
You frowned at him, not understanding the question, “because you do not use it for its intended meaning”
The statement made him sit up immediately, his back straightening so he drew closer in proximity, his chest almost flush against you, “why do you assume so?” 
His sudden closeness was as startling as his words, and you were left with your hands in the air, unsure what to do with them, your mouth hanging open and trying to find the right words. “I— I do not take your meaning”
”You believe that I do not mean the words I speak, why is this?” He asked lowly, skimming his hands up the outside of your thighs, resting them at your waist.
To say that you felt flustered would be an understatement. Elrond stared up at you with determined curiosity, a soft seriousness that would make anyone feel cared for, that their words mattered more than life itself. The weight of his hands on your hips was unfamiliar, yet so comfortable, though that was not surprising. This was Elrond, after all. He was impossibly kind and purposeful at the worst of times, a dependable elf beyond measure and in all your years of friendship he had not once seen fit to slight you in any way.
Yes, friendship, because the question of more had always seemed impossible to ask, and thus been unanswered. 
“We are friends, Elrond, I—”
“You are right” he interrupted, removing his hands from your body and sitting back against the chair, “Forgive me”
He rubbed a hand over his eyes as his head dropped back, sighing deeply. You didn’t know what the appropriate thing to do was in this specific scenario, but the dirt that he had smeared over his cleared skin was demanding your attention.
“Do not do that” you instructed quietly, taking the dirty hand from his face and sighing deeply as you looked upon it.
You wrung out the cloth into another basin and returned it to the fresh water, then brought it to his hand, kneeling by his side. You felt the weight of his gaze on you as you wiped the dirt from his skin, but refused to indulge in it. It was selfish to seek anything from him in this moment, when he was so broken, in need of someone to care for him.
“You are tired” he observed correctly again. He had always been able to read you far more easily than you were comfortable with.
“Everyone in this valley is tired” you deflected.
“I am not concerned with them at the moment” he spoke resolutely. You finally met his eyes, and the way they shone with intent set your stomach alive, “this is unnecessary. You require rest” 
“Please” you pleaded quietly, “just— let me do this for you, just for this one time” 
He exhaled softly, looking upon you with a pitiful expression as he raised his clean palm to your jaw. His thumb swiped across your cheek, but he pulled away almost right away. “I will…” he trailed off, taking hold of your forearm, “but I won’t have you stationed at my feet like this”
He pulled you up, and then directed you to sit on the arm of the chair, laying your legs across his lap. You obliged, your voice stuck in your throat, and his arm wound around your waist, splaying his palm against your lower back to steady you. 
He gave you a gentle smile, “you may continue, if you wish” 
You nodded, and took his other hand, quickly wiping away every inch of dirt that covered it until you reached the edge of his armour, where the skin was untouched by grime. You then raised the cloth to his neck, and much to your surprise, Elrond dropped his head back with a pensive sigh as his eyes slid closed. Watching every movement he made as you cleaned him, you became more and more entranced. His hand slid to your hip as you ran the cloth under his ear, earning another uneasy exhale, and when you reached the lip of his armour, dragging the white material just below the surface of his tunic, a small shudder wracked his body. 
You had finished your work now, the visage that was once covered by dirt was clean, shining brilliantly in the low candlelight of the tent. Elrond still laid with his head back, and the exposed skin of his neck was all too tempting, beckoning you. You ran your fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his face and drawing another shaky breath from him. With the confidence that your touch was affecting him in the way you had thought, you took a leap of faith.
His skin was soft under your lips as you pressed a kiss to the side of his neck, and Elrond’s grip on your hip tightened, his breath stuttering. You placed another gentle kiss against him, this time to the column of his throat, and you watched as it bobbed in reply. Elrond’s other hand now securely held your thigh, tracing circles into fabric of your tunic, and you continued to gently press your lips to his neck, slowly exploring the skin that was now exposed to you.
“Melnā” he whispered in a soft exhale, and you felt your blood running hot. 
“What is it, meleth nín?” you murmured against him, continuing to litter his skin with affection.
Elrond’s breath caught in his throat, and for a moment he was silent, his breath coming out in shallow pants, as if trying not to be heard. You paused your movements, and awaited his answer. 
“I am not sure you understand what you are doing to me”
You raised your head at his assertion, meeting his dark gaze head on and trying to contain the embarrassment you felt, “I shall stop, we never need mention this again”
Elrond shook his head. “You misunderstand me” he said, sitting up so his forehead met yours, “I would not want you to do this simply because you felt I needed it” 
You frowned, moving your gaze between his eyes and searching for something you weren’t entirely sure of. “I would not deny that” you spoke quietly, and watched as a flicker of uncertainty crossed his features, “but selfishly, it would not be the sole reason”
His eyebrows raised ever so slightly, and for a moment he just stared at you, as if to figure out whether or not the words had really slipped from your lips. His hand left your thigh to hold your jaw, closing his eyes as he leant into you, “it does not bother you?”
“What doesn’t?”
“That I am… different, as you say?” He murmured in reply, lifting his head so his nose gently rubbed against yours. 
“Elrond…” you sighed as you took his face in both hands, and his eyes fluttered open to meet your gaze, “you are not capable of the kind of change that would squander my high regards for you, nor quell my affections”
He exhaled, and you felt the warmth of his breath against your lips, “what would you allow me?” 
“Anything” you replied in a whisper, “everything”
Elrond’s arm tightened around you, and his other hooked under your knees as he slowly stood from his seat, taking you with him. He kept his eyes on yours as he made his way over to the bed you had set up, and finally you could see some of the darkness receding from them. If you were to serve as a distraction for him, with nothing given in return, then you would do it gladly, no matter the pain in your heart. You knew it was foolish, to allow yourself to be burned at his stake, but when he treated you so gently, as if you were precious, as if you’d break if he released you, you didn’t seem to care. 
He placed you down on the thin mattress, moving to remove his armour before you protested. “Allow me” you directed him to sit down instead, and knelt in front of him to slip off the pieces of his armour without another word. The process felt almost religious, a ritual of sorts, each piece falling away to reveal his slender form. You stacked the pieces neatly to your side, taking care not to damage the fine craftsmanship, despite it being designed for that express purpose. 
When the last piece was placed down, you finally lifted your eyes back to him. Your insides buzzed with nervous energy, but you couldn’t lose your confidence now, and so you placed your hands on his thighs, sliding them upwards as you raised to your knees. For a moment you just took him in, his weary smile, the tiredness in his eyes, slack jaw. He was so fatigued, and to offer him some semblance of tenderness in this state felt like a monumental privilege. His hands found your body, sitting comfortably at your waist, and you were snapped back into the moment.
“You do not need to do this” he reminded, gently kneading your skin to bring you closer. 
You shook your head, “I want to, if you’ll allow me” 
His expression softened further, “you need not ask, my love”
You nudged his jaw upwards with your nose, planting a kiss just beneath and making his body deflate in relief. You drew a slow path towards his ear as your hands slipped beneath the hem of his shirt, feeling the warmth of his skin against your palms. Every movement you made was calculated, a precise act, aimed to release any lingering tension that he held within his body. You tried hard not to lose yourself in his presence, in the natural scent of his skin, in the feel of his breath against your own neck, and succeeded by focusing on every sensation as it arose, keeping yourself present. 
You slowly peeled back his shirt, allowing you access to the skin below, but before you could explore any further, Elrond’s voice cut through the silence.
“Stand for me” he said lowly, his lips almost brushing your ear as he spoke and causing a shiver to run down your back, desire pooling low in your stomach.
You obliged right away, pushing off of the floor to stand before him. First, he took you calf and slid one shoe from you, and then repeated the action for the other foot. He took hold of the ties that were holding your tunic up and slowly untied you from the material. The fabric slid from your shoulders with ease, pooling around your ankles on the floor. The chill of night, barely concealed by the tent, blew against your bare skin, nipping at you as the edge of self-consciousness did in the same moment. You were bare to Elrond now, and his hands traced down your sides as he took in the sight, a certain reverence to his gaze that sent your mind towards puzzlement.
As his hands reached your thighs, he pulled you slowly towards him, positioning you over him so you straddled his lap. Before you could continue the exploration of his skin, his own lips made contact with your shoulder, and he littered kisses downwards along your collarbone, languid motions that made your head spin. You breath caught in your throat as his hand skimmed up the inside of your thigh, and you let out a choked exhale when you felt his fingers dip between your folds. Your head fell forwards, resting your forehead against his shoulder as he continued his efforts, tracing circles around your sensitive bud, which only made your breath heavier and heavier.
You panted his name, disbelief colouring your tone, not expecting him to pay any attention to your needs. It would have been ample to care for him, but receiving it back, you realised just how much you needed it. The battle had been tough on you as well, and the way that your body relaxed under his touch reminded you of that fact.
A small chuckle left his lips at your incredulity. “You did not expect this?” He deduced correctly once again. You couldn’t answer, for the way his fingers expertly played against you was rendering you unable to speak. “You thought I would neglect you in this way?”
“I… n— yes?” you stuttered out unsurely, silenced by your own moan at Elrond doubling his efforts.
“Mm, as I thought” he teased lightly, his voice low as his lips drew near to your ear. You breathed heavily, trying to collect your thoughts, trying to keep your lips sealed for the fear of what sounds might erupt if given the chance. Not trusting yourself to stay quiet, you buried your face in his neck. Elrond hummed disapprovingly, “I want to hear you, pretty one”
Urging you on in his request, Elrond slowly slipped his fingers past your entrance, taking his time to coax every possible ounce of pleasure from you, and earning a shaky moan against his neck. 
“That’s it” he cooed, his other hand kneading the skin of your waist in time with the fingers that worked inside of you, “I have you”
His words reminded you I’m an instant that this was not to be the purpose of this endeavour, and your hand flew to his wrist, pausing his movements. “Elrond, this was supposed to be for your benefit”
Elrond shook his head. “That may have been your intention” he withdrew his fingers a little before sinking them back inside, “but I can see that you are just as weary as I”
“No, I—” your hips twitched forwards instinctively as he picked up his pace, “I insist”
”Do you?” He said in an amused rumble.
You tried to regain authority over your ragged breath, some semblance of control over your body, but Elrond was playing you like a harp. He strummed the strings of your pleasure like he knew the tune by heart, every movement instinctive and adept, swells in dynamic that built up towards a climax. You were getting there quickly far quicker than anticipated. The pads of his fingers pressed against your walls, the base of his palm working your clit, and you could feel everything within you pulling taut.
“Elrond—” his name fell from your lips in a needy whisper.
“What do you need?” He replied quietly, never faltering in his pace.
“I—”
The question confounded you. Never before had you been asked such a thing, not in the height of pleasure at least. Your mind couldn’t wander far given the situation, but for a moment you tried to produce an answer for him.
“Tell me” he urged again, more insistent now, “what do you want?”
“I want—” the minor difference in wording, with the added knowledge of Elrond’s cock straining against his trousers and pressing against your leg, brought the answer to you more readily. “I want… you, Elrond” you breathed out, hips buckling against him to punctuate your point.
An uneasy groan sounded in his throat, reverberating against your cheek as you remained pressed against him. He pulled his fingers from you quickly, and within the next second he had flipped you over so you were beneath him. You reached for the tie of his trousers as he did, eager to remove the final piece of clothing that restricted him from you.
Elrond slotted himself between your legs to the tune of your small whimper, but he paused. His face hovered above you, his eyes flicking between yours, searching. It was as if he was waiting for something, but you couldn’t decipher what.
“You have not kissed me” he muttered, his eyes briefly flicking to your lips before his steadfast gaze returned to yours.
Your eyes widened a little at the observation, unsure of the waters you were about to dip your toe into, “you would let me?”
The expression on Elrond's face as he pulled back was purely scandalised, his brows settled in a deep frown, “whatever do you mean?” 
“I—” you tried to find the words to express what you had previously thought, but now it all sounded ridiculous. 
“You believe I do not—” words failed him in a moment of disbelief, and then his expression softened once more, his palm resting against your cheek, “meleth nín, forgive me for such unkind words, but… you are a fool”
Your brows drew together a little. He had never called you anything of the sort, but knowing him, ever intentional with his words, you didn’t doubt that he was right.
“To doubt my deep affections for you is to deny the very rising and setting of the sun. Do you truly think so lowly of me that I would allow you this without returning your desire in equal measure?”
You could only blink up at him after such a confession, but once his words began to sink in, you realised the depth of your folly. Of course the reverence in his gaze, the tenderness of his touch, was not because anyone was giving him this kind of affection, but because it was you. The thought struck you so suddenly that you became breathless, your cheeks heating. To engage in this act, usually reserved for marriage, he must have more admiration for you than you gave him credit for. Elrond was right, you were a fool.
“I do not” you spoke resolutely, “I have only the highest of regards for you” 
“Then hear me now” he pressed a kiss to your forehead before continuing, “I have waited centuries to embrace you in this way. Every moment in your presence has been excruciating, longing for more than what I thought possible, waiting for the day that you changed your mind about me. Now that the day has finally arrived, I do not intend to spare you such an intimacy without knowing the taste of your lips”
“Elrond…” you whispered, reaching up to mirror his palm against your cheek, “my mind remains unchanged. This is the way I have always felt” 
His eyes widened, a light scoff escaping him in complete surprise, “then we are both fools”
“I believe you may be right” you chuckled at his reaction, you hand tangling in his curls with the reward of a delighted sigh. The look of contentment on his face was enough to melt you into the fabric of the sheet you laid upon. “You are so beautiful, melnā”
Elrond rested his forehead against yours, “what ever beauty I possess pales in comparison to the fortune of looking upon such fair features as yours”
“Such flowery words” you lips quirked, teasing his lyrical ways. 
Elrond chuckled, skimming the pad of his thumb across the skin beneath your eye, ���you are worth the time it takes to speak them, my love”
At long last, Elrond brought his lips to yours. He kissed you firmly, deeply, every bit of his usual sincerity woven into the action, and you quickly lost yourself in him as you had aimed to prevent before. His hands roved your body in featherlight touches, mapping the shape of you as his kisses grew more insistent. 
Soon he began to explore past the bounds of your lips, traveling along your jaw. His breath ghosted over your ear, pausing for only a second, before he gently brushed his lips against it. Your breath caught in your throat, almost choking by the uneasy rhythm of it as he grazed his teeth against your earlobe. It was the first time anyone had ever touched your ears, and the gesture was so uniquely intimate, so undeniably pleasurable, that you couldn’t help the way your finger’s tightened in Elrond’s curls. 
You wrapped your legs around his waist, drawing his body closer. The both of you moaned in tandem as his hardened length came into contact with your core, Elrond whispering a curse as he buried his face in your neck. He repeated the action with more intention, taking hold of his cock to run it through your folds, slick with arousal. Your breath shortened as he circled your clit with the tip, your mind becoming hazier. Elrond lifted his head and pressed his forehead to yours, and you felt his shaky breath against your lips. The question was clear in his eyes, asking for your permission, and you tightened your legs around him to reply. 
His tip passed your entrance, stretching you open in the most pleasant way. The melody of your moans only intensified as he slowly sank into you, his hand gripping your hip tightly. His eyes were screwed shut, and he swore under his breath again, his lips brushing yours in the process. He released his hand from your hip, smoothing over the skin that he had held so tightly, as if to soothe any hurt he had caused. If he had, you hadn’t noticed.
Elrond pulled out almost completely, before he sank back in with a slow roll of his hips. He set a steady pace at first, both of you just revelling in the feel of being so connected, so close. He brought his lips to yours once more, taking his time to really taste you, to feel every movement so deeply. 
His hands smoothed down your sides as he pulled away slightly to gaze down at you, goosebumps raising under his touch. “You are so perfect” he spoke reverently, his tone nothing short of worshipping, and you could feel your cheeks flush, even now. The change in angle had your back arching, and as a heavy moan left your lips, Elrond gripped your hips tightly again. It seemed that something in him snapped after that, any restraint that he had demonstrated melted away, and letting what desire coursed through his veins take ahold of him.
His pace was fracturing then, his breath heavy against your skin as he leaned over to paint affection across your collarbone and chest. His fingers danced along the skin of your abdomen, taking a path downwards that had you already writhing at the anticipation. He drew tight circles around your clit, and combined with the feel of his cock dragging against your walls, hitting the deepest parts of you, you were ready to come undone in a matter of seconds.
“That’s it, meleth nín. Let go for me” he whispered against your ear, the added sensation of his lips against the sensitive area making your orgasm rip through you almost immediately. 
Your vision blurred, white hot bliss searing through your veins as you were pushed over the edge, and Elrond followed you over, letting out a low grunt as he spilled all of himself inside of you. He held himself over you as he regained his breath, meeting your eyes again and letting a fatigued grin lift his lips, his eyelids heavy.
You pulled him down and into a slow kiss, your hands on the back of his neck, gently tugging at the curls at the base of his head. He brought his forehead to yours as you broke the kiss, and wound an arm around your waist to hold you tightly to him. 
“You know…” he began, something playful in his eyes, mouth twitching with a smirk, “in the eyes of some, this would make us husband and wife”
You chuckled, wrapping your arms around his neck, “I think I could live with people believing that”
Elrond hummed amusedly, gently tracing his nose along yours in a tender gesture. “Do not think of this as my proposal” he murmured, “one day, I shall ask you properly” 
Tumblr media
144 notes · View notes