#(YOU CAN GET AN IDEA BY THE COMMON TERMINOLOGY AND HOW THE EVENTS ARE PHRASED etc. etc. etc.)

[adamsvanrhijn]

Do you think it’s unrealistic at all how we don’t see any war ptsd in thomas at any time?

oh boy what an excellent question. i overthought it so here's a whole entire post but the short answer is Yes, and also Yes with matthew, too

content notes: self-inflicted harm, suicide, war trauma (duh), child abuse, Uncharitable Ideas About Mental Health

so before i get to character analysis, as groundwork there are a few....... social/historical/medical/contextual factors... here

1. terminology

medical & social wwi historians have very strong feelings about the conflation of psychological conditions associated w/ wwi service with ptsd (post-traumatic stress disorder)

i will illustrate "strong feelings" with a tweet from Dr Jessica Meyer, Twitter user @thehistorygirl1, history professor at the University of Leeds, and author of An Equal Burden: The Men of the Royal Army Medical Corps in the First World War:

There is precisely nothing in this article that hasn’t been written about by historians of shell shock for the past quarter of a century at least. And, at risk of repeating myself, shell shock is NOT a condition covered by the term post-traumatic stress disorder. #rantover

so i'm henceforth going to call the symptom cluster "shell shock", which i have been trying to do since reading the work of her and others on the subject.

there are many reasons not to conflate the two, but the main one worth bringing up for this post is that shell shock is not necessarily post-traumatic. shell shock can be identifed during or immediately after a traumatic event, such as, you know. shelling. it can also manifest after, i'll get to that shortly, but shell shock and its ilk was something for which you could be immediately removed from combat.

re: "and its ilk", nowadays it's one of the most common terms for discussing war trauma responses in this era, but historically, "shell shock" was a Very loaded phrase.

contemporarily, depending on the diagnosing party or the location or the year, you'll also see:

"functional disorder"

"war neurosis"

"nervous shock"

"neurotic disorder"

"neurasthenia"

"hysteria" or "hysterical disorder" (which has associated Gender Baggage)

And More!

2. healthy & unhealthy responses to trauma

so to answer this question to my own fucking ridiculous standards, we need to distinguish healthy trauma responses from disordered ones. this is going to be an oversimplification for the purposes of this post, but:

just like grieving a loss isn't 1:1 with depression, many people experience traumatic events and respond to them without prolonged psychological distress. maybe thomas and matthew are in that category, and that's why julian fellowes didn't address the impact of the war on his veteran characters after it happened at all! :-) (stay tuned.)

a healthy response to a traumatic event can look identical to responses in people with a disorder. under modern diagnostic criteria, the difference comes in with the duration, so the length of time a person is experiencing that response, and the degree to which the response affect the person's life.

trauma can affect everything a person does, but here is a handful of psychological responses that are particularly common in survivors of war:

being unwilling to talk about the event/experience

being unable to stop talking about it

alienating others, including close friends, peers, family, and partners

veering toward codependency (may be specific to others who were involved in the event, or specific to people who were not)

a fixation on what could have been done to prevent the event, or a fixation on preventing similar events in the future (as well as general control issues)

survivor's guilt, when other lives were lost or others experienced (what the survivor perceives as) greater harm

one thing that is very common in survivors of traumatic events is a state of heightened sensitivity or heightened arousal: think "fight, flight or freeze".

in a "normal" recovery process, this should subside in a matter of weeks/months, and it should not be easily and unpredictably triggered thereafter. when it doesn't, and it is affecting life/functioning, that is considered disordered.

this heightened arousal state is what most people think of when we talk about trauma conditions; it's the stereotype. some of the more "recognizable" symptoms might be episodic, such as brief instances of:

flashbacks

nightmares

confusion/disorientation

physical motor sensations, such as tremors

loss of senses, such as impacted hearing or sight

those symptoms can result in a kind of feedback loop:

trauma response is triggered (often by some kind of reminder of a traumatic experience)

the sensations associated with the trauma response bring back memories of the trauma

trauma response is exacerbated

exacerbated trauma response brings back memories of the trauma

repeat until resolution

but for this to be episodic in the way that many of us think of today when considering modern conditions like ptsd, there logically has to be some kind of resolution to begin with. i.e., recurring symptoms can't exist without a break (or what appears like a break) between them.

especially in wwi, this isn't always the case. shell shock conditions sometimes appeared to be permanent/extended/ongoing, with no return to "normal" behavior. some commonly noted symptoms of this were:

catatonia

psychological limb paralysis

loss of sense

mental regression

another thing to keep in mind is that ptsd diagnostic criteria generally assumes that symptoms revolve around single traumatic event, even when that event occurred in the context of a broader traumatic experience. a hypothetical example of this is a combat veteran who developed symptoms after a particular bombing incident, and whose memory related symptoms are around this specific event.

shell shock in the literal sense is kind of similar, in that in many cases in order to be diagnosed with it you had to have been shelled, but it was seen as a physical injury, not a mental one.

general war neuroses did not have that criteria and in fact symptoms often were attributed to the extended nature of combat trauma (i.e. men being too mentally unstable for the continued demands of war). they were seen as mental, nervous disorders, often with the idea that men who had previously been doing well suddenly cracked under the weight of all of that extended distress.

contrast this to today when extended traumatic experiences can get you diagnosed with ptsd but the consensus-agreed-upon diagnosis for disordered reactions to extended trauma that cannot be pinpointed to any one specific event isn't actually Official in the main diagnostic manuals (yet).

no matter how it manifests and where it originated, though, all of these conditions tend to be accompanied by some kind of anxiety, irritability, or depression. just like today, proper management of the wwi era condition(s) can mean that this is episodic or infrequent. maybe anxiety surrounds "episodes" or occurs in situations resembling the trauma (mentally, not necessarily in reality) but is not generalized otherwise.

in the show, we see this with lang. he has anxiety and irritability that increases in intensity with reminders of his experiences as well as severe episodes that are triggered both while he is awake and while sleeping as nightmares.

and thomas is an ass about it! he does not look at this sympathetically.

before going on i want to stress two things again:

1, although that the whole thing with when the symptoms start (or at which point they have not gone away) is a key factor in diagnosing ptsd today, it was not with shell shock. a severe emotional and/or neurological response that impeded a soldier's ability to fulfill his duties in action could result in removal from the combat zone and was a pathologized (is this a word? i always forget if this is a word) response. it was considered abnormal and disordered to react this way to war if you yourself had not been physically harmed.

2, psychology is relative. whether behaviors and thoughts/feelings are normal or not is determined by both how much they have in common with a baseline majority, i.e. what is the response of everyone else in similar circumstances, and, if the person is behaving/thinking/feeling differently than they were at a previous time.

by now you guys probably know where i'm going with this but nevertheless this brings me to...

3. incidence of shell shock

again, simplification, but it was real high!

quote from Professor Joanna Bourke (professor of history at Birkbeck, University of London and author of Dismembering the Male) in her 2011 article "Shell Shock during World War One" for BBC History

By the end of World War One, the army had dealt with 80,000 cases of 'shell shock'. As early as 1917, it was recognised that war neuroses accounted for one-seventh of all personnel discharged for disabilities from the British Army. Once wounds were excluded, emotional disorders were responsible for one-third of all discharges. Even more worrying was the fact that a higher proportion of officers were suffering in this way. According to one survey published in 1917, while the ratio of officers to men at the front was 1:30, among patients in hospitals specialising in war neuroses, the ratio of officers to men was 1:6. What medical officers quickly realised was that everyone had a 'breaking point': weak or strong, courageous or cowardly - war frightened everyone witless.

recorded cases were higher on the continent by hundreds of thousands, and in britain in the years following after the war ended, thousands of veterans who were not cases during wartime sought treatment for nervous disorders.

over the years of the war, the way that this was recognized and treated varied. guidance within the medical corps changed periodically. representations of this in contemporary secondary sources such as periodicals and primary sources such as memoirs and medical journals went back and forth. you also saw different ideas across different militaries, so what we see in french sources can be different than what we see in british ones.

at the beginning of the war, ~1914-1915, people are drawing the conclusion that the psychological responses are a result of shell impact. there was a lot of speculation about shockwaves, for example; the physical blow of being in an area under shelling was very well-documented. to the point where if someone hadn't been shelled at the onset of symptoms, they were treated differently and potentially considered to be malingering. see: me harping on about the onset and duration of symptoms being key diagnostic criteria for ptsd but not for shell shock.

as time went on, it became clear that this was not consistent, nor was it verifiable, and some people were taking exception to the idea that hundreds of men were just making things up, so you end up with a general category that everyone with nervous symptoms goes into and decisions are made further back on the lines upon psychiatric evaluation.

but there was definitely still a negative stigma, although perceptions continued to change after the war as research continued and the standard of care evolved. in series 5, taking place in 1924, mrs patmore at one point brings up that they know more now about shell shock than they did at the time, and that people are looking at cowardice differently.

this is ~8 years after thomas got his hand shot, and ~7 years after courtenay committed suicide and lang left downton.

4. time for the question you actually asked!

i mean your question does assume that we Don't see signs of severe trauma responses in thomas, and i want to go over that.

i think when fans talk about thomas (and matthew) not having war trauma we are talking primarily about how after the war is over, there is no indication that he experiences e.g. war flashbacks or other war-memory-related symptoms.

i think this is because jf thinks war is boring and annoying to write.

but it's true that we also don't see any other psychological symptoms directly related to his war experiences either and we also talk about that!

i'm going to talk about the hand now. i want to raise a few points.

1: thomas frequently harms himself as a preventive measure

over the course of the series, thomas makes a habit of putting himself in situations or circumstances that will hurt, harm, or just plain make things difficult him to improve his circumstances / to avoid experiencing further hurt, even to the point of self-sabotage. twice we see this with traumatic situations: in S2E1, obviously, but also with S5. baxter brings this up, textually!

in S2E1, he is at some level cognizant of what he is doing both in the moment (see the conversation with matthew, thomas's final line) and later when he talks to o'brien about it, but we also need to keep a pin in two things:

the first is the fact that medically speaking, there were a LOT of things that could have gone wrong with this plan, many of which thomas would have been exposed to in his role. possible results include:

the impairment he ends up with (which as i've discussed, realistically would affect him much more than it does)

a nonfunctioning extremity due to mutilation or to nerve damage

necessary amputation of the hand

poorly performed necessary amputation of the hand, leading to additional amputation(s) affecting his arm

an infected wound, potentially also leading to amputation

an infected wound where the infection spreads, again potentially leading to amputation above the hand

infection spreads beyond the point of possible amputation, leading to whole-body sepsis (almost certainly fatal)

and that isn't even touching on the possibility that a part of him other than his hand could have taken the bullet, or that he could have been caught inviting enemy fire! left hand injuries were not easily handwaved!

the second is the fact that that is just a very 0-100 response and it also comes immediately after having just talked about it. he did not really have time to think this through; he is acting on a survival instinct and desperation for control over the situation.

this is big in terms of character development, it's the first time we see him experiencing anything upsetting to this degree and his physical and mental response to that.

based on the conversation with matthew and his immediate action thereafter, i think it's fair to say that although getting his hand shot was not (fully) premeditated, thomas had been Fixating on the idea of working at the downton war hospital to get out of there since reading o'brien's letter. he brings it up pretty quickly and as soon as he is told what has to happen for that, he takes action without a second thought. like, he was probably obsessing over that prospect.

side note! all that said i actually don't think this is the first time we see thomas have the "control the situation and get the pain over with now" impulse thing. there's kind of an inkling of this in s1 when he basically invites bates to punch him in the face while fully aware that he could easily do it. i think he's betting otherwise but i don't think he'd be surprised if bates did, and in fact it would get him what he wants anyway. logically, bates would not stick around if he harmed thomas to the degree he is threatening. wonder where the association of goading physical violence = problem resolution came from! (another thing thomas often does just in general is, you know, take out most of his issues with himself or his life on other people.)

which brings me to point two.

2: thomas already has some fucked up responses to distress and threats to his wellbeing in series 1

i think we've all been over this enough times by now so i'll just use this to point out that according to research into ptsd over the last 40 years, people who have previously experienced trauma are more likely to have a disordered trauma response when experiencing additional trauma, even if they did not necessarily have a textbook disordered response beforehand.

for example, a child abuse victim who experiences a traumatic incident as an adult that is completely unrelated to the child abuse is more likely to develop a disordered response about the adulthood incident than someone experiencing the same incident who has never been traumatized before.

there are similar ideas present in late 19th and early 20th century psychology.

tl;dr i think the hand thing should be viewed as a trauma response. was it intended to be read that way? based on supplemental materials, by rob james collier (and alastair bruce), yes. by julian fellowes, who fucking knows!

i don't think this is new, i don't think anyone in the fandom disagrees with me on that even though a bunch of the audience just sees it as cowardice and shirking his duties.

i also think we all agree that earlier on in the episode, not only is thomas experiencing unambiguous trauma and unambiguous distress responses that are affecting his ability to perform his duties, he is also feeling all of that at a higher intensity than his peers in the setting!

Amazon prime doesn't let me take screenshots so you'll all have to bear with me and use your very good memories until I'm on a computer again.

seriously it is made EXTREMELY clear that thomas is losing his grip in the first episode of series 2. it culminates with the hand obviously but he is in extreme distress, he is coping Badly, the people around him are not reacting to the same degree as he is (and are even irritated with him), and every additional thing that happens is making it worse.

thank you for acting your heart out rob james collier!

5. i am so sorry i know this is already a really long post and i haven't even said anything that's news yet

okay so like this episode is showing us thomas's trauma response, this is what it looks like at its most severe. this would have been a perfect set up to giving him shell shock! especially because it's 1916, so you can still be diagnosed with shell shock, and he was... actually... shelled... which would be points in his favor. more on that later (and depending on how you look at it, it is also a good set up to checking off another Homophobic Trope Checkbox)

so whyyyy did they never show it or anything like it again?

and why does matthew, who at downton briefly dissociates and goes nonverbal whenever someone unconnected to the war brings it up and has to shake himself out of it every time, Also have no residual anything after the war?

like, yeah! to answer your question, that is pretty fucking weird! that doesn't make a lot of sense in a world where neither of them had effective psychotherapy, or medication, or like.... time to physically And emotionally rest, which is really the bare minimum here?

i stand by what i said, that it's probably because jf just... didn't want to deal with writing it..... lol. i mean he cut the first two years of the war and by the time it's seriously brought up again in s5, thomas is too busy traumatizing himself with something else to be very involved and matthew is dead, so, nothing really comes up that could be used to show a trigger and reaction and on the rare occasions it does we don't see the characters' responses anyway (e.g. we don't spend time alone with thomas after the memorial)

frankly i wouldn't be surprised if fellowes supposed that Thomas does indeed have A War Trauma and liked many other things just didn't bother with writing it, given what we DO have in series 2....

like... the way Thomas reacts to Lang despite the fact that he was.... in the medical corps.... and would have seen this many times before and had to care for men with it... and clearly struggled with intense emotional reactions at one point even if yes, it was primarily in the thick of the action........... the sergeant doth protest too much, methinks...

anyway, now it's time for my fan theory that the reason Thomas spent 5+ months in hospital despite the fact that contemporary records of treatment for gunshot wounds to the hand typically describe surgery and in-patient recovery as being 12 weeks or fewer once back on british soil (when the hand can be saved and there are no surgical complications or infections, as appears to be the case with Thomas) is because he was also being treated for a war neurosis, because his injury was actually immediately seen as suspicious for obvious reasons, and Matthew had to vouch for him by attesting to the fact that he had been reacting badly under shellfire earlier in the day, and

[callesenmathis07-blog]

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[tobogladder]

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[seenashwrite]

Dearest Nash, I've touched on this before in (I believe) in a discussion re: why some mainstream fics get oodles of notes while more original ones do not, *but* I wanted to get a bit more specific here. There are certain writers here whose writing has a definite vibe to it (if you will) that separates their work from others, and your name is one of the first that comes to mind. Bear with me, because trying to detail what makes your writing stand out is difficult while trying to articulate a Q

^ this is a gif with parts 2 - 4, just FYI

Hmmm… this is a bit of a brain buster. But I can answer it, and I think succinctly, maybe with a touch of that Spidey sense you mention:

Thank you for your inquiry, hope that helps! 

I kid. But this is a brain-turner. And a characteristic which, like you say, ain’t limited to me. I’d honestly throw comedians under this umbrella, too, not because I’m necessarily gunning for a laugh every time, but because it’s pretty much their job to take a “basic” (a tenet or fact of life or present reality or whatever) and present the observation with a twist. I think of storyteller comedians specifically, your Patton Oswalt-s, Maria Bamford-s, Kathy Griffin-s, and John Mulaney-s.

So if I can sum up, assuming I’m tracking with you, what you’re more or less driving at with the “how” is this –> Is there anything beyond simply personality, or an auto-pilot thought cascade (for lack of better terminology) that contributes? Are there things someone could do/be proactive about, to perhaps cause this same sort of reaction to happen in their brain?

I think there just might be.

Folks reading this, let me ask you a question, and you cannot look it up:

What was the name of the Sherpa guide who led Sir Edmund Hillary up Mount Everest?

.

.

.

His name was Tenzing Norgay.

Nash, what in the name of the frozen corpse of George Mallory does this have to do with Lion’s question?

I shall tell you.

My father told me that fact when I was quite young, so young I legit couldn’t even ballpark my age for you. The context was that having little facts tucked away in your brain may come in handy. Not in a Jeopardy kind of way, more in a conversational way. I’ve no idea why the man thought the Sherpa guide who led Hillary up Mt. Everest would ever come up during a conversation with enough regularity to justify my knowing that fact (aside from him randomly quizzing me throughout my life) but hey, I guess it just did.

But speaking of Lil’ Nash, the situation for her was that she was the eldest of all the Nash litter by miles… like seven or eight years, I’m not bothering to check. So I had a lot of alone time, and my grandmother was my chief babysitter, so prior to kindergarten and then til I was in about second grade (so: all day long during the week, then every weekday after she picked me up from school), I was pretty much always at her house. Yeah, there were toys, but not a lot to do. And I’d read. I’d been reading on my own for a decent while, not because I was some prodigy but because my dad read to me *constantly* when Lil’ Nash was Itty-Bitty Nash, and it “took”. My mom also, every time she went to the grocery store always - and I mean always - brought back a book for me. It might’ve been an Archie comic—-

Mandatory #fuck the CW’s Riverdale tag

—-or a Babysitter’s Club, or Sweet Valley High, Judy Blume, Madeleine L’Engle, Zilpha Keatley Snyder, you get my point. Some small paperback. It would piss Dad off because he’s a cheap bastard and two buck books once or twice a month were really gonna cut into the savings [eyeroll] but also, in a way, because I’d kill it in a half day/a day. Wouldn’t put it down. After awhile, I started writing my own silly little kid stories, then - and this is where the creative writing love came about -  I started writing soap operas for my Barbies. (When I was older - like, 5th grade? 6th grade, maybe? - none of my peers were still playing with Barbies, and I got made fun of when, at a sleepover, they saw my stash. And I was like - No, no, no. Those aren’t for playing. That’s my cast.)

Time went on, and when I was bored at post-church lunch/dinners, I would also read the old encyclopedias at my grandmother’s, the ones from the late ‘60s/early ‘70s that she had for my mom and my aunt. As I got even older and became fascinated with rooting through the boxes in gran’s basement, looking at all the cool old clothes, I stumbled upon my aunt’s collection of Whoa-Hooooo Shit There’s No Way My Grandparents Knew You Read These books. Those kinda Harlequin-esque ones, except my aunt’s tastes run close to mine, none were the same shtick with different covers, shmultzy-sappy romance, there was always some sort of intrigue along with the sexy times, and she also had, like, every legit V. C. Andrews (meaning: not the ones from the ghostwriter, this was way before her death) book.

What is my point? I read a LOT. Now-a-days, other than fanfic (which… straight up: I don’t read a lot of that, either. I peace out on probs 80% of it before the third-to-fifth paragraph. It’s gotta sell me fast, yo) I haven’t read fiction in probably, oh…. 12 years? I think the last ones were the first couple Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Wait, no! I lie! I read the 50 Shades books when I was traveling 2x/wk for a job about 4 years ago, and I needed the laughs. It worked. Oh my days, that woman can’t write. The screenplay might’ve been worse, it goes her, then Buckleming, then everyone else. It’s bad. In any event, past decade or so, it’s more historical stuff and true crime and science stuff and all that old fart jazz.

Okay, so that’s #1: Read. And not just anything, be well-read, and that doesn’t mean developing some level of expertise, by “well” I’m saying to cover the spread. You’re building your tool kit, is all. You won’t use most of it, but it’s nice to have options. You also don’t always have to get this stuff from reading now-a-days, because podcasts. Cover the spread there, too. Lemme look at my bookmarks…. 

[Spongebob narrator voice: A few moments later]

I’m back. Science - Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe; General current stuff without being news - CGP Grey’s Hello Internet; current events with shittons of pop culture, past and present - Greg Proops’ Smartest Man in the World; fun history stuff - The Dollop; entertainment stuff - How Did This Get Made.

#2: Keep a notebook with you and jot down turns-of-phrase that spark something in your brain - things you read on websites, on twitter, in articles, things you hear people say (real life, TV, movies, podcasts), and write it. Don’t snap a pic with your phone or make a note in your phone. There are studies behind this, I’m not hunting them down, you’ll just have to trust me, but there are, and it goes to being reflexive, a brain “muscle memory” thing, if you will. You’re not doing it to plagiarize, you’re doing it to dissect it, kind’ve like you did with the example you gave on me —> went from punch action to punch spiked with booze to a punch with a spiked gauntlet.

Which leads to #3: Mental dictionary. I have a large vocab repository, and it stems from the tons of reading - I stop and look up stuff if I either don’t know it, or it’s used in such a way that I think they’ve got it wrong and want to double-check that maybe there’s another usage I don’t know - and also stems from a drive to combat the (still fairly thick) deep South drawl I can’t kick, and not for lack of trying. But see, I couldn’t have whipped out that progression if I weren’t aware that one definition of “spike” is “to add alcohol to”, or of the common shtick in stories of spiked punch like at high school proms typically, or knew about the existence of spiked gauntlets / old school armor. 

And I guarantee you that a good chunk of people didn’t really “get it”, and just thought “Nash Be Nashin’, that nutty gal”. So they “get it” on that level, but don’t Get. It., if you see what I’m saying. And that’s fine. Maybe it got something cranking in the back of their mind and it’ll hit ‘em in the middle of the night, or they’ll be watching Game of Thrones or something, see a gauntlet and be like “Oh goddamnit, I just got a throw-a-way one-liner from three years ago” and have a chuckle.

Related, re: looking stuff up and things that people “get”? I didn’t know fuck-all about Twilight, but it seemed of import to the folks around 5 years younger than me, the Nashlings wouldn’t shut up about it, so I got a good working knowledge of it. Same with Harry Potter, and through it I got to “know” J.K. Rowling, who I find to be an exceptional writer, so that was great, and I’ve watched the movies for the most part over the years at Christmastime, and I don’t give the first shit about what “house” I’m in, nor do I care about what Patronus I’d fart, but I have a working knowledge of what those are, and horcruxes and who Snape and Voldie are, you get my point. I can keep up. But to do it, I had to take the time to look it up. One thing I would not trade for gold is Michael Sheen chewing the goddamn scenery in that battle segment from the last Twilight movie. Have I watched the movie? No. But that scene is the shit. And that baby CGI is horrific on several subtle levels. And not-so-subtle. I’ve digressed.

Back to those notes: So if you’ve got these notes jotted, you might see something else and think “I feel like that could’ve been snappier…. why do I think that….” And you’ve got a resource at your disposal, that little notebook. Hell, jot that thing down - things you think could be done better. I have in many documents a highlight around chunks of scenes for my big dog story where it says in bold above or below “DO BETTER”. Meaning: there’s a better way to get from A to B, but I’m just not quite there yet. I’m pretty quick on the uptake and can crank out something snappy on the fly (like say, in CASPN chat or when banging out a short reply or thank you note) but there’s definitely times I gotta slap a DO BETTER on it and walk away til that snappy something-or-other light bulb goes off. 

Here’s a recent one where I backtracked, matter of fact - that noir spoof thing I wrote? Along with my co-writer, Moscato? There was a line that I couldn’t hit with a good zinger, so I just said moments were going by like a fat hamster on a wheel, which is cute, but not really grooving with the setting/the vibe. Less tipsy, when I was correcting some inelegant formatting and a misspelling [sigh], I went “Oh! Why didn’t this occur to me last night? Right. Wine.” So the line is now about moments dragging like a rolling donut with a copper on its tail. Get it? The cop’s a fat ass. The donut-cop stereotype.

…….Fine, it ain’t my best, but it fits better. Moving on.

And this leads nicely into #4, and a specific tip I can impart - assuming you’ve got a passable-to-high level of vocabulary in your tool belt, practice messing around with making nouns into verbs, and twisting random stuff into descriptors and using bizarre words/things in metaphors/analogies. Like, I say “adulting” quite a bit. Ali - @littlegreenplasticsoldier - I thiiiink was writing recently about Sam being drunk, and he’s a tall wobbly Jenga tower on his last Jenga. Going back to the noir, pulpy detective style, try messing with the whole “S/he was like a ___ that ____”. Add on to stuff that’s well known - He was like a dog with a bone, if the bone was a ____ and he was a ____ and we were in a ____. (I have *nothing* in mind to fill those blanks, by the way, feel free to twist it into sumpin’)

What else…. okay, here’s a #5: In drafts, let yourself wander, and see what kicks out. It can be fueled by silliness or anger, but I don’t reckon you’re gonna get the “snappy” you’re aiming for if you’re down in the dumps and going full-court-press angst. The best stuff, IMO, comes from the space in between goofy and pissed, and that is The Land Of Snark. You can always re-style it to bend more dry or wistful should you need to, certainly, depending on the situation.

Have a sample of a primo Nash Digression that was fueled by ire in a recap from Season 12 (episode 19). I had said - RE: the random inclusion of the character Joshua, which still pisses me off because they burned a character that held massive potential for future stuff as he’d been shown to be the only angel with direct access to Chuck, so, y’know, that could never come in handy, like ever again in the series, right? - the following.

Mandatory pre-emptive #fuck Dabb

[Spongebob narrator voice] A few moments later —> 

On god, I have no idea where that came from, and here’s where we go back to ol’ Spidey up there, because end of the day?

All that other stuff’s the foundation, sure, but there’s always gonna be the weird iggy, the thing that can’t be learned or taught, whatever the quirky synapse is that fires off in my/our brains. In my experience, it’s an ADD-ish sort of jam mixed with the Nostradamus effect. Meaning, (A) we’re at Level 10, rapid fire thought processing >50% of the time, and (B) throw out enough stuff for long enough, some of it’s going to stick. And I whiff it plenty. Multiple times in CASPN chat I’ve been like “Whoo, tough room” when something falls flat.

A specific example: @mrswhozeewhatsis - and I think you saw this, but anyone else seeing this may not have - gave probably the most fantastic analogy I’ve seen regarding the whole “getting it” thing, and while it was on the topic of meaty plots that get too far into the weeds (my specialty) and how it can lessen appeal to a broader audience, it still applies here. 

She said “Sometimes, when I’m reading something of yours, I feel like there’s a joke I’m missing. It’s like watching Spaceballs without having seen Star Wars.” I say that to say - nobody’s gonna land references that cover the spread 100% of the time. And, y’know, fine. I figure maybe it’ll prompt someone to do a quick google for - well, let’s use Spaceballs. Most folks will no doubt get the Star Wars part, but maybe not Spaceballs. Maybe they’ll check it out, find something they enjoy. Or learn a new word. Or get a brainstorm for a story. Who knows?

Last tip: Don’t actively mimic anyone’s style. Much fail. And I don’t only mean because if they’re on a social Venn diagram with you, would likely recognize themselves in your stuff——

Takes a moment to wave to the peeps still trying with me! #bless your hearts

—–but because it’s fucking hard. I did it broadly on the noir thing, that’s not a hard thing, to homage generalities, but the way I’m messing with doing this on that silly Princess Bride series? Purposefully styling it like Goldman? It’s good  challenging and all, and it is making it feel more in the groove with the book/movie, but I have to be in the right frame of mind or it’s like fingernails on a chalkboard, and when I have pushed it, then gone back, it’s sloggy, soggy garbage.

I say all that to say: it’s an amalgam of brain-wiring/personality, and world/life perspective(s), and knowledge acquired over time. The first just is; the second will evolve in myriad ways, maybe for the better, maybe for the worse; the last is the one where you/we have control, we can fill bucket after bucket of information, and the well won’t ever run dry.

Sorry this took so long. I kept adding and subtracting. This is the edited version, if you can believe it. Welcome to Nash Brain. 😉

[onewhoturns]

pt 1 - A Request

Okay guys, here’s part one of this RP with @kaldwinqueen. It’s almost 90 pages now, and still going, and I’m enjoying it immensely so I figured I’d share. You can also find it over on AO3 if you want to leave some love. I wrote Emily, @kaldwinqueen wrote the Outsider. [If you’re having formatting issues, click through to keep reading and it should fix.]

There was something heavy in the air tonight and it wasn't just the daunting knowledge of his impending demise weighing on his shoulders. Rarely did The Outsider consider what the world around him felt like. He did not think to feel, only perceive. He did not think to see, for he already understood. Even if he thought to see, he would view through muddied waters, cracked glass, fragments of his humanity. But the idea of the end put a new perspective on things.

Emily's study was different. The coup had changed it. Not that it wasn't clean and tidy, but the coup had changed the whole of Dunwall Tower. Something was different, even if everything had been arranged to how it had been before. The presence of witchcraft lingered and the Void scratched at the surface here, where it had been prominent only months before. It was like a wound in the fabric of reality that was only just now healing, sewing sinews of what once was back together to create a patchy tapestry that he knew he wouldn't be alive to witness in all its tattered glory.

He dragged his finger along one of the two glasses he'd brought out from beneath the desk, shimmering and intricate. It was a brandy he'd chosen. Not that he could really taste the stuff. A Tyvian vintage. He knew Emily's schedule like the back of his hand. And it was right around this time that she'd sit down at her desk and grumble to herself over piles of paperwork. But he hoped she could entertain him for just one more night.

It was the same every day. Constantly papers, and ring kisses, and being told how not to speak to people and how not to offend anyone and - oh don’t even mention all the bloody signatures. Primarily construction, rebuilding all that the coup had destroyed, but there were also budgets and schedules and approvals of delegations to the other Isles…

Emily straightened her back, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. Calm. The day was nearly over. Now she was free of the constant buzz of surrounding advisors and attendants and... She breathed out. Free of the crowds. On her own. Just another night of the joy of being an empress.

That thought brought a small wry smile to her lips. What a joy it was, truly.

Regardless: now, at least, she would be alone. And she could take off these damned gloves.

Into her suite, door closed, gloves off -- it was a ritual she’d begun to cherish the longer she had to hide her Mark. It itched to be free. She traced the pattern idly with her free hand as she turned to her desk-

“Fucking hells-” She cut herself short, a hand raised to her her chest in surprise. God of the Void. It was - well, the god of the Void. ...Why? Her eyes shot to him, immediately suspicious. She found it hard to speak at first. He always did that to her - or maybe it was just the aftereffect of the Void, stealing her focus and making her mind wander to mystical and entirely incomprehensible planes. It left her speechless.

She shook her head, trying to clear the call of the Void, and leveled her stare on the black-eyed god, voice steady, if a little on edge. “Why are you here?”

Against the warmth of the flickering shades cast outwards from the fireplace and the candle lit on the windowsill, and the shimmer of little crystal glasses, he contrasted greatly. His form always tugged at the shadows he sat against. They licked at his boots and accentuated his figure, aiding in the air of mystery that typically followed him wherever he went. But here it was just odd.

Here was a boy -- no, of course not; here was a god, sitting against her desk with a bottle of brandy and two cups at the ready. His expression was no different than the one he wore between those brief escapades trudging through Serkonan back alleys, running into the pale lavender glow of whale lamps lining wooden shrines. But he could not see himself. His reflection was a blur to him, he could not determine the way he appeared to her. So in that way, there was a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

And perhaps just the slightest bit of nervousness as well.

"My my, dear Emily Kaldwin, it's a surprise to hear such foul language from an empress. I wonder what the members of the court would think, how they'd react if you made such a slip in their presence. Would they frown upon you? For being human? Or would they laugh and scoff in that posh way so characteristic of upper nobility?" He leaned back on his hand, dark brows furrowing thoughtfully.

Seeing the Void god in her own quarters was astounding to say the least. She opened her mouth once, as though she might say something, but nothing came to mind, and she closed it soon after, forehead creasing in befuddlement. The last time she’d seen him anywhere other than the Void he’d given her the way-too-powerful-to-bestow-upon-a-25-year-old tool that allowed her to move between times.

Not that the other powers of her Mark were any more appropriate. She glanced at her hand as it itched again, and found it faintly glowing. It irritated her. His patronizing tone didn’t help.

Half of her felt the need to roll her eyes at his statements. Cryptic bastard. Then again… She straightened her spine, raised her chin, put on her Empress face. “You’ll excuse me if I’m a bit…” She debated the right word. “...Crude.” Her lips pursed, eyes sharp as they fell on the god again, and her words were the slightest bit sardonic. “I only ever seem to see you when you need me to dispose of someone.”

Her eyes flicked over his form, looking for any kind of clue, but she found nothing unusual. If one considered the flecks of Void echoes and smoke to be the “usual.” What she did find odd were the glasses set before him. Two of them. Her head cocked to the side almost imperceptibly. Was he expecting another guest, or was this some kind of elaborate introduction to whatever her next mission might be? Surely he wasn’t just… offering her a drink? No, that would be… Just the thought of it made the corner of her lips twitch. Ridiculous. Truly ridiculous. The Outsider himself sitting down for a drink in the private quarters of the Empress of the Isles. The most blasphemous of events, truly.

The Outsider’s eyes glanced over her figure, amusement flickering over his features for a moment. He even almost chuckled, though the sound wouldn't have escaped him, for he felt no need to breathe. It would have been odd and rigid, stiffly opening his mouth with the corner of his lips curving upwards and leaving him with a silently stupid look on his face, as though he'd braced himself for a sneeze that just didn't quite get the message and left him hanging there, waiting. So he stared at her instead, unblinking, almost deadpan as he poured them both a considerable amount of golden liquor.

"Dispose wouldn't be quite the terminology I'd use. Perhaps... proposition. Which, in that case, you would not be wrong in assuming that I have come with yet another proposition in mind. Though this one is different, admittedly, requiring far less skill, far less perception, agility -- all of the things that ready you for combat and keep you steadfast on your feet." His gaze turned downwards and his fingertips traveled along the length of the desk but he did not feel the texture. His motions were slow, smooth and oddly sensual.

It was something he craved. The sensations lingered, memories swimming aimlessly through his mind. He knew what it should have felt like: rough on the bottom, smooth along the top where it had been so carefully polished to Tower standard. But he did not experience it, not through his own right. He felt something stir within him, as he always did when he pondered over that particular loss. Anger. He'd come to recognize it as a bitter frustration, he could not change the past but the past had changed him. Irreparably so. He turned his gaze back up to her, but hidden in his features was just the faintest traces of trepidation.

Emily’s eyes flicked from the Outsider, to the glasses, and back to the Outsider. His black stare was intense. She’d be lying if she tried to claim his gaze was comforting. But she didn’t exactly dislike it, either, oddly enough. It reminded her of the smoke that would curl around her when she and Wyman shared a hookah. Something dark and mysterious - forbidden - and disturbingly sensuous. She felt shivers down her spine, and covered them by taking a few counter-intuitive steps toward the Void god.

Reflexively, an eyebrow raised at his chosen verbiage. “You’ve come to proposition me?” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, her lips closing soon thereafter, breaking eye contact as she internally chided herself. Her fingers twitched, eager to reach for a glass and immediately forget she’d ever mentioned that phrase in context. But she hadn’t been offered a drink and she certainly wasn’t going to reach for it like some common sot. She would hold her peace, no matter if her ears were starting to burn. No - back straight, chin up, there were no mistakes.

So instead of taking the glass, she watched his hands. He seemed to take an unusual amount of interest in the polished wooden surface of her desk, fingers skimming and caressing it. The more she watched his hands, the more she thought his motions obscene. She swallowed self-consciously and returned her eyes to his just in time to catch his glance as he looked up once more. There was something off about the way he looked at her. It was so hard to tell with those endless black eyes, but something was different and she was sure of it. Her brow furrowed briefly in confusion and determined curiosity, before she blinked it away. No. It wouldn’t do to pry into the lives of gods. That couldn’t end well for anyone. Still… she couldn’t help the touch of curiosity that still lingered at the edges of her mind.

And still more she wondered: why was he here?

There were several beats of silence but his voice wasn't what broke it. He slid the glass across the desk in front of her, as to draw her attention to it. He never looked away from her though, a strange sensation bubbling in his chest. But something was better than nothing, and when you had only days to live, risks were to be taken.

For the first time in a long while, he was conscious of the way he moved, putting effort into his motions, and spending a little less time thinking about Emily's, even if he was intensely aware of her presence. Her dark almond eyes, her loose strands of hair framing her boldly structured face... her womanhood. He stiffened and forced himself not think about that.

Forced himself to speak.

"The Void is greedy, it laps up anything that comes within its grasps, hungrily devouring the cosmos one star at a time, until one day, every light in the sky will have been ravaged and consumed." He'd always been blissfully ignorant of his sensuality, the way he had with words, the way he phrased things, though methodical, often suggestive.

"... But most of all, it is starving for representation. It craves a figurehead to speak for it, to shower people in its presence and invade reality with slick slippery tendrils coalescing... curling around each and every vestige it can creep its way into... I satiate that desire, for now. Very soon it will search for something else... once I have been properly displaced." He spoke with a bit of caution, skirting around his words, cagey, cryptic as always.

"The Void did not take from what I did not experience. It did not rob me of my life, and I cannot blame it for what it did not do. I cannot blame anyone for perpetuating the course of fate... There were things I did not have the privilege of understanding. Though hardships aplenty, my life before... as I can recall it... was difficult. Cold, numbingly so. The people around me watched in disdain as I withered away on street corners. But what I saw was love, as abundant as the soil beneath us, but priceless in value. I do not desire much. What I proposition... is a taste." His eyes flickered down to her lips before he brought the glass up to his own, sipping the contents, his hands shaking very faintly.

Emily’s fingertips tingled in the heavy silence before he spoke, shaken by the tension, but she was far too aware of her own movements to allow even something as simple as rubbing thumb and forefinger together. He was staring at her - no, into her - those eyes seeming to invade every inch of her body. She was grateful when he slid the glass to her, taking it perhaps a little too quickly and sipping immediately. Sweet. Just the slightest burn on the back of her throat. Deceptively delectable, but she knew too much was a recipe for disaster. As she sipped she watched him carefully, waiting for him to explain himself.

He only seemed to have a brief moment of partial relaxation before his body went rigid, and she found that instant somehow profoundly sad and beautiful. Just a moment of rest before he was swept up in these cosmic forces once more, returned to the place of a god again. For just a moment he’d practically been human. But then he spoke, his voice weaving tapestries both rich and ominous, words dripping over her and sinking into her very bones, and she was left in awe. As his warnings of the universe’s inevitable collapse flowed over her skin she felt them, tight and hot, constricting her chest with an eerie dread.

How did he keep his tone so steady, his attitude so circumspect, even as his words lit on her skin like sparks? He ignited something in her, and the evenness with which he dealt that condition bothered her greatly. She found it hard to keep track of his intentions, too focused on words that crept into her ears, drawing images inside her eyelids, every blink putting her someplace else. And she knew this was important, too. She could tell from his approach, the way his lips formed the words so carefully, choosing each so purposefully - and yet this too was her undoing.

It took a moment for his words to truly sink in, past all the talk of craving and slickness and satiation. Very soon it will search for something else... She felt suddenly jarred, her fingers tightening on the glass in her hand to stop their sudden tremor. He was leaving? Was he - he couldn’t - the Outsider surely wasn’t dying . Her head spun as he went on, breath becoming shallow, trying to keep track of his tale even as the words danced and melded into one another in her head, twisting their meanings into some sensational lewd melodrama.

Emily’s eyes fluttered closed for a moment, focusing her breathing, focusing her mind, calming herself so she might hear the Outsider’s words. Truly, his story was heartbreaking. He’d told her some of it, before - in a way - but these details… She stared at the golden liquid in her glass, swallowing hard, her chest aching with sympathy. Part of her yearned to fight - he gave up so easily, so resigned to this fate - but she knew she could never truly understand the Void and all of its whims and intricacies. Still, there was a fire in her. Even as her breath trembled, something inside her raged and swore and promised to rain down fury on whoever it was that would do such a thing. Even if it was the Void itself.

She blinked rapidly, unsure if the tears she held back were tears of anger, grief, or desperation. Maybe none of those things. Maybe all of them. But they wouldn’t fall. She wouldn’t allow them to fall. She pursed her lips determinedly. A piece of her viewed him as hers in some way. Her connection to the Void, perhaps. The one who showed her things she had never imagined, and gave her powers she never should have wanted. And now someone threatened her -- her… her Outsider. How dare they. She’d had her world yanked away from her once already, she wouldn’t let it happen again.

She felt that fire growing in her heart -- useless, she knew, and yet eternally hopeful. When she finally caught his eyes, hers blazing with this strange desperate fear, she caught just his last words. ...A taste...

“I-” Her voice was hoarse, overwhelmed by this flood of information, and she took another quick gulp of the drink in her glass, flinching a bit even as she tried to ignore the burn, and licking her parched lips. “I don’t-” she looked down at the drink in her hand. “I’m not sure I understand.”

He watched her unwind but found that the way his words touched her were not as satisfying as it once was. The way he could unravel her, inch by inch, seam by seam, it was physically visible now, the influence he had. And he knew that much, as he peered in on her day to day life, as nosy and intrusive as he typically was. He knew lots of things, he knew absolutely nothing at all.

He stood suddenly, upright, not floating nor dissipating and reforming, but walking, stepping forward evenly, his eyes penetrating the depths of her being, searching, seeking for something even he could not determine. A part of him yearned for something he knew only she had. He supposed that part of him was hidden deep beneath layers of stone as black as charred obsidian, the human part of him that howled in despair and relief simultaneously at the idea of dying.

He fell into wispy fractures and appeared behind her only mere moments later and something white chimed in his hand. It was a comb, made from the bones of an ancient leviathan. It was intricately carved with careful attentiveness and a strict attention to detail. It hummed with the song of the Void like most of the "heretical" artifacts.

"... May I, Emily?" His voice was hardly above a whisper and held hidden beneath it a quiet desperation. Her hair was long and fell down her shoulders in waves of dark coffee hues, but only at night did she release it from its tight placement. He would watch her then, taking pins and ties and setting them on her vanity before retiring to a bed far too large for just one person.

How lonely she must have felt each passing night, tossing and turning on a massive mattress. He couldn't help but wonder what it might feel like to occupy the space beside her and watch her drift into unconsciousness. But he nearly immediately disregarded the thought, placing a single hand on her shoulder, bracing himself for any possible reaction. He knew she was a firebrand, it was only in her nature to put up a defiant front; passion ran through her veins.

But he also knew who he was, and how much the Empire loathed him. He often wondered if Emily loathed him in that way. If she felt a hatred for him that was fueled by blind prejudice, and if so, he wondered if it were as intense as the hatred she felt for Delilah, or for the man who stole her mother away that awful day in the Month of Harvest.

Suddenly it mattered. Everyone else in the Isles could hate him, despise him, curse him to the very depths of the Void. But Emily Kaldwin could not. He couldn't stand the concept. He couldn't accept that.

When he’d taken his first steps forward, she’d tensed, breath gone from her lungs in an instant. It reminded her of the Void all over again, and she did as she had done there: kept her chin up, shoulders back, confident even as blood roared in her ears. When he disappeared she froze, and her head snapped to the side as she caught his reappearance in the corner of her eye. She couldn’t turn toward him, even as she willed her limbs to do so. Her feet were frozen to the floor. Her body thrummed -- whether resonating with the energy of the Void or simply trying to contain her suddenly frantic pulse, she wasn’t sure.

His soft request sent goosebumps racing across her skin. Her eyelids felt heavy and it took a concentrated effort to keep them open, so tempting was the urge to close them and enjoy whatever images now danced at the edges of her consciousness. She was a live wire, all sparks and crackling current, and surely if he touched her he would feel it too -- her pent up energy would burn through him, surely, it felt so tangible and so dangerous.

And yet, it didn’t. His hand on her shoulder caused no flash of light, no crack of pain though her - just the small click of her mouth opening in surprise, a gasp that was strangled in her throat, back arching ever so slightly, unsure if she wanted to be closer or farther from him. The Mark on her hand, still glowing softly, caused her no pain but she felt as though it whispered things to her. Dark things. As though it had reached into the furthest recesses of her mind and now let those thoughts flow in a hot stream through her veins, urging her on.

She had to keep her eyes open. If she let herself indulge these thoughts - these images - she would have no control whatsoever. No. She wouldn’t sate that hunger. Not here, with him. She must keep her composure. …And still, a practically morbid curiosity ached in her, and she found herself setting the glass aside to reach with one hand to undo the pins holding her hair in place.

Everything he had done in the past twenty minutes had been extremely out of the ordinary. Every move he'd made, down to the monologues slipping from his lips like strung silk. But it was imperative that she knew. That someone knew before he faded into nothing. He had accepted his fated demise, but he could not accept that everyone would remember him as one of two things: a heretical temptation, or a perverse thing to worship.

He couldn't accept that all the fractured remnants of his humanity would die with him, for what was a man without a legacy? And what was a legacy if no one witnessed it?

This would be his legacy, here in this office, booze burning at the back of his throat, a gentle hand reaching up to collapse against Emily's like soft flower petals, preventing her from continuing on her own. Instead he guided her, unpinning her hair and watching it drop in waves, eyes widening just faintly at the sight.

He was curious, but there was another sensation burning within him that left that still human part of him seething.

He eyed the faintest traces of skin behind the wall of soft strands, reaching up to run his fingers, chilled but not to an uncomfortable degree, through thick brunette locks, knuckles brushing against the back of her neck. He took the comb, nestling it downwards from the top, slowly raking it through, watching like a child admiring a small bird on the windowsill.

"The whole Empire would bend to your will now. Not out of fear, but a deep respect for everything you've experienced. The child empress, a girl no longer, but a woman who fought for the right of her people, without leaving a trail of blood and scraps of sinew behind her. And now she stands here, speechless, dumbfounded. It's almost amusing." His voice took a tone that it had only ever taken once before.

With a little boy whose nose was fractured and gushing crimson ichor, whose bones were fragile and hands trembling in the icy cold. Back then he had spoken to a little dove with broken wings, whose time had ended before it began. But now he was that dove, limping across the pavement, resting his head for one final sleep, and he spoke to her now, almost pleading, but unnervingly calm.

A hum escaped him. Not slow enough to be a lullaby but not quite fast enough to meet the beat of a waltz. It was eerie, layered in whispers of eternity.

His bare fingers brushing hers sent a skittering thrill through her body that hadn’t been there on her clothed shoulder. Her Marked hand throbbed briefly, as though called to this being that even now stood so patiently at her back. Emily felt as though she were in a dream. It was surreal and all too eerie, the play of his fingers through her hair. She expected breath on her neck and felt none, the fact making him seem more of a ghost than ever. Still, as he explored this new sensation, she was touched by how innocent this small request had been.

Her hands dropped, one to the desk and one to her side, nervously playing with the hem of her sleeve unconsciously. His attentions were calming, nothing like what she’d expected of this odd entity. She very nearly relaxed, but his fingers brushing the nape of her neck made her suck in a quick breath, hand tightening on the edge of the desk. Silently scolding herself, she chewed her lip, her muscles tense even as she ordered them to submit. Her body didn’t seem to want to obey her mind, and that made her uneasy.

The comb stroking steadily through her hair immediately reminded her of when she was much younger. These days, she only ever had tower staff help her with her hair for special occasions, much preferring to be self-reliant and do such tasks on her own. But when she was younger, with her mother… And when her mother had died - been killed - there were days as a young empress when a caretaker would soothe her troubled sleep with a horsehair brush and soft cooing lullabies. That didn’t happen anymore. On those nights when her sleep was troubled there was no one to come in and stroke her hair, rub her back, envelop her in comforting arms… And she, of course, refused to ask.

As his movements continued, her body warred with her calming soul - even as her eyes drifted closed again - until finally her muscles yielded, her chin tipping to her chest, her head leaning in to his strokes. Her hand on the desk flexed unconsciously, and as his words slid over her she listened with serene but rapt attention. He praised her even as he marveled at her weakness, and the sentiment left her uneasy, for reasons she couldn’t quite place. She wanted to refute him, but his words were true enough. She was, indeed, speechless.

But there was something more in him, something she couldn’t quite parse from his words and tone. What else is it you want? Because there was surely something else. There was something in his voice - something hollow, empty - that yearned for some unknowable something that she couldn’t envision. A small crease appeared in her brow as she tried to unravel his speech, dissecting the lilt of tones, but as his hum reverberated through him, through the comb, straight into her, she found herself distracted again. Shivering. She could hear the Void on him. More so than in speech, the timbre of his hum echoed with refracted shadows, shards of stone and the fog of aeons. It called to her, raising her pulse, filling her lungs with the idea of ozone and slate, and she found herself turning her head toward him. Not enough to dislodge his steady strokes, but just enough that she might see him from the corner of her eye.

His expression wasn't as steady as his words. His brows were curved down and furrowed together, not in anger, not even in concentration, for his gaze while planted mostly on Emily seemed to drift a bit. As if he were viewing the whole universe along the tender strands he combed through. He could recall nights not long ago, where he'd watched her from the recesses of the Void, watched her stir from her slumber gasping for breath, laying in bed staring distantly at the ceiling, lost in thought as the whole world tumbled around her. Those silent moments, even in their brevity, made his being ache. Not only with the usual emptiness that riddled him but also with a firm longing to comfort her, to stroke her cheek with the back of his hand. He wondered how she might react if he did.

But ultimately he decided that was unimportant now. She had a whole life ahead of her. Full of suffering, the grandest of enjoyments, love and hate and all of those tedious little things that made a person human. But he? He was a god. And a god was far less than a man. He was immortal and yet his time was running out.

He slowly set the comb onto the desk, his movements careful but lacking in the cold, hollow method that they usually had. Each step he took was centered on her, his attention was entirely and completely hers as of right now.

Once he'd finished he did not move. "There are some things that even after all of these long years of watching and waiting in the shadows, even after witnessing the cruelest of actions and the most sublime generosities, I still do not understand. The minuscule details that are so crucial to living escape me. And it is simply because I never lived long enough to come to understand them for what they are. I know of men of the highest caliber that shudder at a woman's touch, I have seen the High Overseer himself make haste to his hidden chambers only to share a night with a woman he hardly knows. Risking his career, his reputation, all for the sweet blissful release. Betraying everything he's ever been taught just for a night. And I've pondered if perhaps it's the self destructive nature of man that leads them into such intimate situations. But I've come to the conclusion that it isn't something I am worthy of knowing." He ran the back of his hand down her arm slowly, still standing behind her, his words hitting the back of her neck like a chilled breeze.

"It's a level of intimacy that I could never experience even now, one that I could never ask you to mimic. It would be an outlandish proposition, so it is not mine. But what I wish for are impossible things. Impossible, hysterical little things that you may even find yourself scoffing at. I yearn to feel the sun, beaming down against my face from between the cracks in the drapes that line the windows, I yearn to feel a pulse when I raise my hand to my chest, or to another's-" He appeared in front of her, eyes searching over her features desperately.

His tone fluctuated, sought something, it was clear now what he was feeling; it was fear. He was scared.

His hand settled just below her neck and he slowly shook his head, "I yearn to grasp at those tiny details I never understood, for the more that I see the more that I hunger, the insatiable desire entangling me, if I could breathe it would have choked me by now. It's a bittersweet asphyxiation, reminding me that I am still something, which is better than the alternative, is what I've come to believe," he rambled on, but that calm facade he shrouded himself in had shattered completely.

Emily watched his hands gently setting the comb aside, and her own fingers twitched, seized by the sudden urge to reach for his, to still his hand, feel his skin against hers. But twitch was all they did, staying where she grasped the side of the desk perhaps a bit too tightly, grounding herself. Her lips parted as though she might say something, but nothing came to mind. And then his hand had withdrawn, and the moment had passed.

She listened to his words, still staring at the discarded comb. He’d seen everything, she realized. She’d known it already, but the way he spoke now -- he hadn’t just witnessed everything. He’d seen everything. Watched and examined and observed all the base nature of man. As he went on, she felt a blush rising in her chest. She felt silly for it, but her breath was hot from her parted mouth and she soon felt the need to moisten dry lips, the motion only serving to remind her of the very things that made her blush to begin with.

She wasn’t ashamed of her sexuality, by no means, but that wasn’t what had her skin flush and tingling abashedly. No, not the deeds she’d done. She didn’t regret a single stolen kiss or night spent with a lover. No, she blushed as she realized that, if he’d borne witness to these events, he very well may have seen her wanton acts as well. It wasn’t just sinful overseers tempted into bed by the promise of a woman’s touch.

He had her mind wandering, and feeling his hand trail down her sleeve she suddenly wished that no sleeve parted them. She wished to see his eyes when he witnessed the goosebumps erupt on her skin at his slightest touch, as they did now. Her shoulders shifted, back once more arching at the tingling feeling on her neck, nails digging into the palms of her hands. He claimed he’d never ask her to indulge any of these small intimacies… Was he aware of how he tempted her with the thought? Her own curiosity imagining how he might -- how he might look beneath her. How his skin might feel on hers. How he might taste. She blinked, trying to clear these idle fantasies from her mind. Her errant mind…

Her guilt only deepened as he spoke of his own wishes, so sweet and innocent and pure, and she was the one - him, the Outsider himself, yet she was the one - imagining grander sins.

When he appeared before her, her face was warm, eyes bright, lips parted. She blinked in surprise, but didn’t try to hide. He knew her for what she was, for better or worse. And she was flawed. His touch was cool, but not cold, even against her flaming skin, and it made her throat jump and catch, swallowing hard in response. Her attention shifted between his eyes and his lips, watching each word form with care. She needed to get a hold of herself. She wanted to get a hold of him.

She forced those feelings away, though they never went far, and brought her touch to his, grasping his hand between her own and looking down at where their skin met, even as she swayed toward him, drawn in by some gravity only he possessed. Questions exploded in her mind - When would it happen? How would it happen? Who would do it? How long did he have? How did he know? Was there a way to stop it? - but above all of those things; “What can I do?”

He grinned, genuinely, lips curled into a soft, sad little smile. Emily Kaldwin always sought out an enemy to defeat. She searched desperately for the origins of her problems and most of the time there was one person, or multiple even, who were the cause of said issues. But he supposed it ran in her blood, like the Serkonan hues of her skin, the flecks of gold in her eyes, her collarbones and long neck and dips and curvatures of her figure, all genetic.

He thought back to the bad old days, the days where men bled from the eyes and rats gnawed on bodies yet to be sent off to a landfill in the flooded district by carts on electric rails. The determination in Corvo's eyes, the raw, primal way he hunted down those who'd wronged him. Sometimes shedding blood, others times avoiding it. Perhaps it was genetic, an Attano thing, to catch the Outsider's wandering gaze.

His breath had a scent, not unlike the sea, but there were hints of wildflowers, vanilla candle wax. Altogether it almost smelled sweet. Like a toffee, or a hard candy of some sort. His eyes found her hand in his and it brought him some odd sense of comfort. Everything was most certainly not going to be okay, in fact, it likely wouldn't be much of anything at all. He could imagine a vast nothingness, the escape of death. No more pain, no more fear, confusion, all of the Void's negativity and every small remark muttered under the breath of a city guard on patrol.

He finally turned his gaze up to hers again, "There is nothing you can do, nothing anyone can do. Everything has been set into motion. The cogs are turning, the machine is on. What I ask is... undoubtedly the most selfish request I've made of you yet, and I have made plenty. Especially where you're concerned." He reached up and brushed a bit of hair from her face. "I ask that... I..." He struggled to find a way to phrase it, finding that the words were caught in his throat, they wouldn't escape, swimming aimlessly without any clear direction. He leaned forward, staring down at her lips, concentrated, cautious. "I ask..." he lingered, tilting his head to the side just slightly, lids lowering, "...for a moment's... time..."

His lips were cold, like the majority of him, inexperienced, nervous, apprehensive. At heart he was still a boy who knew of sexuality, but never had the chance to experiment with his own, who'd seen people doing awfully sinful acts but had only briefly been accustomed to his own touch, and that was only very rarely when he felt safe and alone enough to put himself in such a vulnerable position. So here was a god, less than a man, aged by the Void with all of the world's wisdom as nervous and inexperienced as a schoolboy, sharing a kiss with the Empress of Isles. No. With Emily Kaldwin. He could go accepting that as his legacy.

The Outsider’s smile was something she never thought she’d see. It was bizarre and intriguing and it’s sadness sent an aching pang through her chest. A sense of dread crept upon her as he spoke, her head shaking minutely, sensing his conclusions even before they dropped from his lips. No. He couldn’t say there was no way to stop this. She’d done impossible things before. She could do this, if he’d just let her. The anger - the futile drive - flared in her briefly, but was quickly extinguished. She held tighter onto his hand, pleading silently that he could give her something to do, that he could lie to her, tell her that she had a chance to stop this, but she knew it wasn’t so.

Frustration and despair warred in her hollow chest, even as guilt nagged at her, reminding her that he’d come here because he trusted her. Him - a god. He was entrusting this last futile gesture to a young woman twice deposed, who’d twice now reclaimed her throne. And as he lost his… he came to her. She supposed there was some poetic symmetry to it: a relationship that began with a death, to end with one.

Her eyes closed, pained, as he brushed the hair back from her face, and when they opened they burned with a desperate sadness. Her lips parted as he leaned toward her, eyes closing as though she might shield herself from the inevitable loss tomorrow would bring. She inhaled with a shudder as his lips rested a hair’s breadth from hers, tasting the odd mix of man and Void she’d never quite be able to describe.

Her lips were gentle against his, initially thinking she’d let him set the pace before realizing his uncertainty. So instead she led, one hand still holding his while the other cupped his face, drawing him to her, breath escaping between their lips before she pressed against him once more, unconsciously taking a step toward him as she coaxed his lips open with hers.

If the air off his skin was indescribable, there was no possible attempt to be made for the taste of his mouth.

She tried to form coherent thoughts, but her body could only feel him, pressing into him desperately even as she tried to hold herself back. She wanted to be gentle, but it wasn’t just him that was driving her mad -- the Void was intoxicating, and it filled her. She overflowed with some supernatural hunger, needing more of him, feeling the smoke of the Void filling her lungs. More. Her hands trembled, feeling a rush of stone in her blood, her ears echoing with whale song. Was this why witches claimed to lay with the Outsider? The desire to feel this unrestrained power devouring them?

It was so much -- too much. It swept her up in crashing waves and took all she had to pull back, stumbling, her knuckles white where she still held his hand. “Sorry-” she gasped, the hand that had cupped his cheek now grabbing the edge of the desk in surprise, knees weak. If she’d seen her own reflection she may have been horrified, black beginning a thin map of the veins in her neck, a small wisp of smoke dripping from her lips. Her pupils had nearly eclipsed her irises, blinding her until she could blink them back to their regular state. Truly, the Void devoured. “I’m- I’m so sorry.” Her voice was hoarse, broken. She trembled before him as her body readjusted, shocked.

It wasn't good in the traditional sense of the word. It was different, it was the faintest lingering fragmented idea of what he thought a kiss should be. The closeness alone was enough to satiate his desires. His lips entangling with hers, hands settling themselves onto her hips and pulling her closer, pulling her into his being. He could feel the Void swarming around them, wrapping them both in its decaying embrace. He felt like for the briefest of moments they were one, a single entity nestled on a rock hurtling through space. Only him and Emily. Only their lips, their hands, their souls.

He hadn't even noticed the heat, the passion, the drive that Emily's humanity pushed forth. He was focused on the sensations he could feel, rather than the movements or the reality of the moment. He focused on the way she tasted for instance, lips sweetened with the Tyvian brandy, and the warmth that resonated from her quickening breaths. The warmth of her against him, even with the clothing that separated them.

It wasn't enough for him, he realized. He was an insatiable being, never would it be enough, no amount of kissing, frottage or sex would ever be enough to satiate his hunger. He wasn't starving for her sex he realized, he wanted her companionship. He was selfish, he wanted her. He ached to experience these little pieces of life that most took for granted with her.

He stared at her, hair disheveled, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights. His hand gripped the edge of the desk and the shadows around him waned, for just a few seconds his eyes, his real eyes shone through the inky black. Pale green peering back at her before the Void swallowed them and left him back where he started. "...Thank you," he murmured quietly.

She blinked, still disoriented, brow furrowing as she looked with confusion into his eyes. She could’ve sworn - for just a second - but then they were blackest black again. She must’ve imagined it. She turned to lean her hips against the desk, wanting to just collapse into her bed, but a part of her worried about that course of action. She didn’t want him to join her. He terrified her, she realized. No not him, not the Outsider, but that thing that lived in him. That he lived in? That thing that made him who he was. The Void. Raw power that consumed even as it was consumed. A vicious thing. She knew better than to invite something like that into her bed.

When she licked her lips she was relieved to taste more than the impossible essence of the Void, still tasting that odd hint of sweetness that had been unique to the Outsider himself. It did a lot to ease her rattled mind.

She looked back to him, arms wrapping around herself without even realizing it, a wary sad curiosity slowly reigniting in her gaze. “...So what now?” Why did she ask? Surely, the answer would only hurt her.

He did regret it now. Coming here, doing that, leaving her with the horrific memory and the lingering sensation of the Void enveloping her. That feeling of being torn apart piece by piece by raw, unfiltered power. The universe had attacked her for a split second, and he had let it. He turned on his heel and recollected himself, eyes downcast in shame.

But he tried to remain stoic, he tried to pretend as though it hadn't happened. He would hold it together, if not for himself than for her sake.

"... I'll leave you here. And perhaps you'll forget tonight, you'll forget the sound of my voice. Perhaps you'll grow old and you'll recall nothing. Or maybe you will remember every minuscule detail. Either way, I don't have much longer." He was already waning, his presence faltering, shadows fading off as they stretched towards him.

His words stung, and she found herself roused just to prove him wrong. Spite stirred her limbs, shedding the weight of hopelessness that had descended on her. She lifted her chin, straightening, embodying the strength she stood for as Empress. Her eyes, free of the Void’s inky corruption, leveled on him. “I won’t forget.”

She would hunt down whoever was going to do this to him. She would kill them before they got the chance.

Even as the idea entered her head she sourly had to dismiss it. Her people needed her. Her days of chasing after traitors and assassins were behind her now. She sat the throne, and ruled the Empire -- alone. And so did he, in a way. Yet he was so ready to have it all taken from him?

She curiously took note of the undulating shadows that seemed to be calling him home, even as she brought her eyes to his. She gave him a steady, regal nod. “Good luck.”

Somehow he had been expecting more from her, and also less at the same time. More so, he had hoped for more from her. Nothing explicit of course, but perhaps the rest of the evening. He knew though, that it was impossible. He glanced at the comb of bone on the desk and listened to it call out to him. The buzzing had been a nuisance at first but now it was mere background noise to him.

The Void was calling to him. It wanted him back, it urged him, shadows licking at his boots and hands almost affectionately. He had no choice but to accept his fate, even if now more than ever he desperately desired a completely different one. "...You're as gracious as ever." He spoke in hardly above a whisper and yet it still sounded as if his voice had cracked.

"You're truly the most fascinating woman in the Isles, Emily. It was an honor to give you my Mark." He dispersed, his being fractured, shadows engulfing one another until he was gone completely, leaving the room emptier than it had ever been before.

Read pt 2 here.

[bravestage-blog]

The Dangers of Binary Identity Structures in the LGBTQ+ Community

Note: At the end of the post, I have included a glossary of terms which explain some of the identities that I reference.

The LGBTQ+ community is a complex group of individuals with a variety of different identities, experiences, and opinions. While mainstream media and individuals outside of the community often like to talk about queer experience as a monolithic entity, this practice fails to acknowledge both the diversity and hierarchical systems which exist specifically within this community. Intersectionality is a crucial thing to consider when examining the experiences of people, whether they are members of the LGBTQ+ community or not. The overlap of race, class, ability status, sexuality, and more all tie in to how we, as human beings, experience life. While our societal issues of racism, sexism, transphobia, xenophobia, and more are commonly associated with conservative values, they are by no means absent from the LGBTQ+ community. While these are complex, multi-faceted issues, they are crucial to understand because they develop structures of power and oppression within our world. Different societies have different norms and acceptable behaviors put forth by groups in power. Today, I would like to discuss a norm which permeates the general perspective of identity: the binary.

The insistence on binary systems, both generally in our country and more specifically within the queer community, is both problematic and diminishing to individuals with more fluid identities. This post will delve into binary structures and attitudes within the LGBTQ+ community which impact the experience of bisexual, pansexual, and queer sexualities, as well as trans//non-binary gender identities. My argument ultimately discourages binary-only thinking. It examines the dangers of binary norms which further marginalize and alienate people who exist along a spectrum, rather than at the ends of it. Such issues remain prevalent even within a community that is supposed to protect and validate queer identity. I believe that commitment to binary systems and rejection of fluid identity ultimately hinders our ability to grow, open our minds, and understand one another. It is counterproductive and illogical to put people into boxes, especially within the already marginalized LGBTQ+ community.

When I speak of the hierarchies which exist within the queer community, I refer primarily to the influence possessed by white, cisgender* gays and lesbians. There are plenty of queer individuals who exist within a binary themselves, and that is their truth. But that reality does not apply to other LGBTQ+ individuals, and should not be forced upon them. The experiences of bisexuals within the queer community is perhaps the most frequently discussed example. Their experience can best be summarized from Youtube channel “Bisexual Real Talk.” Alex Anders makes the important point that “Every time we tell young people who are bisexual to go and search the LGBT community, we are creating certain expectations in their mind. And what do you think does more damage: when a person who knows they are going to be discriminated in a certain group and then gets discriminated in that group, or when a person is told that they will be able to find solace in a group and they lower their guard and then they’re discriminated against?” This statement perfectly frames an ongoing issue within the queer community.

A variety of studies have been conducted surrounding biphobia in LGBTQ+ spaces. As a bit of explanation: “biphobia seeks to undermine the legitimacy of bisexual identities and comes in many forms: jokes, stereotypes, non-inclusive language and even abuse. The fear of being dismissed as “too gay” or “too straight” often makes it hard to be open” (HRC). In a study conducted by Corey E. Flanders at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, “Many of the participants reported not only encountering professionals who were clueless about bisexuality, but also feeling unwanted at Pride events just for being bisexual. The results indicated “young bisexual women perceive monosexism and biphobia as significant challenges to their mental health at the institutional, community, interpersonal and intrapersonal level” (Flanders). Additionally, a study by Tangela S. Roberts and Sharon G. Horne of the University of Massachusetts, and William T. Hoyt of the University of Wisconsin surveyed 745 bisexuals of various ages, genders, and ethnicities to share their stories of experiencing biphobia. The study found that “although the bisexuals surveyed experienced more biphobia from straight people, they also experienced an alarming amount of biphobia from lesbians and gays” (Roberts). A common argument that people, queer and otherwise, like to make about bisexual individuals is that they are confused. There is an idea surrounding bisexuality that women just experimenting or men are gay but afraid to fully commit. While this mentality is shifting, it is still undeniably present among queer and straight people alike. Hurtful terminology within the LGBTQ+ community has even developed surrounding the bisexual identity. Pride.com created a list of terms/phrases used by gays and lesbians against bisexuals. Examples include “Hasbian,” and “bi now, gay later.” Terms like this suggest that bisexuality is a transitional phase which people use to ease themselves into the queer community before assuming a “real” identity, which falls within the binary of either gay or straight. So, why does this matter so much? According to the Bisexual Resource Center, approximately 40 percent of bisexual people have considered or attempted suicide, compared to just over a quarter of gay men and lesbians. Additionally, according to The Williams Institute, “bisexual-identified people make up approximately half of the total population of the LGBTQ community — but only 28 percent of bisexual people report being out to those closest to them.” This represents a clear, pressing issue on the dangers of binary identity structures and biphobia.Biphobia is closely related to “monosexism,” which is “a belief that monosexuality (either exclusive heterosexuality and/or homosexuality) is superior to or more legitimate than a bisexual or other non-monosexual orientation” (Everyday Feminism). Monosexism also invalidates pansexual* and other queer sexualities that are not as binary as gay or straight. While binary sexuality research has primarily focused on bisexuals, there is also the experience of transgender* and non-binary* individuals to consider.

Discussions of transgender identity have been a more prominent topic of conversation in the United States over the last couple of years. The ongoing debate argues whether or not there are more than two genders. Many people, within and outside of the LGBTQ+ community, believe that the body that we are born into dictates our gender and how we are supposed to act/present ourselves. This is again representative of binary identity modeling. Transgender and non-binary identities exist contrary to this mindset. Transphobia is a huge problem in the LGBTQ+ community, despite the T representing transgender people. Pride, a well-known celebration for the queer community, is meant to commemorate the transgender-led Stonewall Riots back in the 1960s. However, transgender people are often forgotten in these celebrations today. Trans and non-binary individuals do not receive nearly as much support or recognition within the LGBTQ+ community. As a result, such individuals are struggling at alarming rates. According to the New York Times, a recent survey of more than six thousand self-identified transgender people showed that 41 percent have attempted suicide, a staggering twenty-six times the rate of the general population. There is conversation within the queer community that trans and non-binary people are “hurting the movement.” These people fail to acknowledge the work done by courageous trans women like Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P. Johnson, work that has greatly benefited the LGBTQ+ community as a whole.

The common understanding of gender as a binary system is not one that includes all people. It is also one that leads to deeply rooted problems for queer and straight individuals alike. Strict adherence to a gender binary and, subsequently, gender roles, can perpetuate issues of misogyny, hypermasculinity, domestic violence, homophobia, transphobia, and more.Identifying within the binary is not the problem. The problem is believing solely in the binary. It is the belief that things must only be one way or the other which complicates and oppresses individuals in many ways. Existing in the binary model may work for many of us, but forcing it onto other people is neither fair nor beneficial. Humans are not meant to be diminished into narrow categories with little room for expansion or exploration. We should not be limited by binaries, especially surrounding gender or sexuality.

If the LGBTQ+ community really wants to advocate for acceptance, equality, and human rights, then it needs to extend it’s fight to all of the individuals who exist within the community. This means acknowledging non-binary sexualities and gender identities, acknowledging race, and, ultimately, acknowledging the intersectional nature of human existence. Empathy and openmindedness are crucial to the fight which the queer community continues to advocate for. Feeling a sense of community with those who are similar to you is crucial for support, happiness, and general wellbeing. For this reason, my “Spread the Word” project will delve further into the queer community and how a hierarchy exists even within this marginalized group. Ultimately, I hope that people who get to view parts of this project can identify with or learn something new from the experiences I highlight and examine. To fellow LGBTQ+ individuals: if we cannot look out for each other, how can we expect people outside our community to look out for us? We must fix the problems within our own spaces and find unity if we truly hope for change in our world. Erasing the binary-only mentality is a great way to begin such reforms.

Vocabulary:

Cisgender: identifying with the anatomical sex that you were assigned at birth (a physical male identifying as a man, a physical female identifying as a woman)

Transgender: identifying with a gender that does not align with your anatomical sex at birth (someone who is assigned male at birth who identifies as a woman, someone who is assigned female at birth who identifies as a man)

Genderqueer or non-binary: people who do not subscribe to conventional gender distinctions but identify with neither, both, or a combination of masculinity and femininity

Bisexual: sexual attraction towards two or more genders (attracted most commonly to cisgender men and cisgender women)

Pansexual: sexual attraction towards people regardless of their sex or gender identity

Queer: a reclaimed term used by LGBTQ+ individuals to describe themselves (in terms of sexuality and/or gender identity)

[natesafety]

NATE WIN Column: Don’t Know What I Don’t Know?

By Chris Memmott (NATE Wireless Industry Network Rocky Mountain Regional Ambassador and President of Triple M Enterprises in Nephi, Utah)

With recent events changing nearly everything in our daily lives and how we look at them, I could not help but apply some of the popular catch phrases to my own daily operations. I decided to pick one phrase that seemed to really ring true with me although it is a blatantly obvious saying.

 “We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know”.

 Really? At first when I heard this terminology it was a bit irritating. But as events transpired it made me think about how it might apply to more than just the current events. As a tower technician if I apply the methodology of “I don’t know what I don’t know” – can it actually help me be more thorough with working through the different parts of a project? Let’s face it, as tower techs we are responsible for a great deal when it comes to seeing a project through. Most importantly, my own safety and the safety of those around me. I may be confident that I can do whatever job is in front of me because I just completed 14 similar jobs since the first of the year. We all fall into this trap or way of thinking and that is what makes our jobs dangerous. It is because we don’t know what we don’t know and in fact we may have been lulled to sleep and are not trying to find out what we don’t know.

So, with all of that being said, I decided to apply my new thought process to the different parts or sections of working through a project. I am sure as you are reading this many things will come to mind that I have not thought of that would be pertinent to your own way of breaking down a project. If that’s the case – great! It worked! The whole idea here is to provoke thought and not be numb to constant change.

Job Walk Through and Bid Process – In this space it is critical that we are up to speed with our customer. We have no idea what things are happening to them on the front end of the project and how it might affect the back end or my end. It is incumbent on us to have constant contact with them regarding everything from the bid process to the COP’s. Another common mistake is not thoroughly understanding what is required of you and your company from a safety standpoint. Are you compliant in all areas required by THIS customer? You may have been compliant on the last project but what is it that you are overlooking on the next one with a new customer. Also, if I am on an initial job walk, are you gathering all of the information that you need? Too many times we fall into a trap of letting others on the walk (our competitors) ask all of the questions. There is no way to know what you don’t know if you don’t ask the questions.

 I cannot tell you how many times I have asked a question on a job walk or even in a kick off meeting and had the customer say “Oh yes, I need to make you aware of a change”. It is our responsibility on a daily basis to know our customers’ needs and any recent changes that may have occurred.

Truck, Equipment, Tools, and PPE (not necessarily in that order) – This one could take up an entire discussion on its own, but for the purposes of this article we will just touch on a few ideas. The one thing that came to mind here is our trucks. As a company owner, I may or may not have been guilty of sending a crew out with a truck that had a “check engine” light or some other indication of a problem. It is incumbent on us as tower technicians to be sure we are able to get ourselves and our teams to and from the job every day, safely. This may mean making a phone call that you don’t want to make to your project manager or supervisor to rectify the problem. Truth be told, this mind set can be applied to all of the items named in this section – truck, equipment, tools, and PPE. We truly do not know what we don’t know about these items and for safety sake and to get the job done proficiently we must make a constant effort to be up to speed on all things relative to our projects. One thing that I know has helped me in this space is surrounding myself with great eyes. Crew members that keep their eyes open for potential problems or barriers successful job completion can be invaluable.

Site Evaluation - As with the last section, this one warrants an entire discussion on its own. For the purposes of this article I will touch on a few ideas relative to this topic. Of all of the things I have chosen to discuss this one rings the truest and is most important when thinking about what I don’t know at a new job site. When I walk onto a new site for a job there are a thousand and one things that could be a safety hazard, something to cost me time, or both. It is imperative that we ask ourselves and our crews, what is it that we don’t know about this site? Is it in relatively good repair? Is there hardware laying on the ground? Is a safety climb present and in good repair? All of these are things that are beat into our heads as tower technicians, but each question that we do not ask ourselves can lead to something that we don’t know – and unfortunately to a mistake that can be costly. It is very easy to sit at this keyboard and bang out “should of, could of, would of”. Unfortunately, I have been the guy who got in a hurry and, yes, there have been incidents and accidents. All of them traceable back to a step or circumstance that was missed. I am sure many of you could say the same. It is actually these times that have brought me to the idea of this article. The question not asked that can cost us the most dearly.

In conclusion I’ll just say this, “Don’t ever start a project without saying to yourself – I don’t know what I don’t know – so I need to ask the questions to find out”.

Stay safe NATE family! ■

 Chris Memmott is the WIN Rocky Mountain Regional Ambassador and President of Triple M Enterprises in Nephi, Utah. He can be reached at 435-580-9050 or chrismemmott43@gmail.com.

[izzyovercoffee]

have you ever thought of mando'a words for different disabilities? like what the word for "blind" or "deaf" etc would be?

I’ve spent quite a bit of time thinking about it actually, because they’re necessary words — but as often is the case the mando’a dictionary is lacking, for whatever reason. 

I do want to state beforehand that while I have thought of or worked on words with others before, many of them have been words for other disabilities and/or impairments dealing specifically with mental health and mental illness, and brain injury. Considering I have PTSD, among other things, that’s mostly where my focus has tended to go. I’m not a part of either community you mentioned (blindness, or deafness), but I have thought about and spoke with others in the past with the intent of creating words for either — mostly because, as you can probably tell from my other mando’a posts, I don’t generally trust the larger fan community to create words in a respectful manner, either unintentionally, or otherwise.

My biggest issue, and the major reason that I’m writing this at all, is that there’s always an “easy” way to create words in mando’a — especially in this situation, because the words “to see” and “to hear” already exist. But the easy way to create these words (drop a negative prefix in front of to see, or to hear) is radically … well, inaccurate, and wrong-headed — especially given how these words literally translate before adding the nu’ / ne’ / n’ to them.

So … this is my attempt, until such a time as better words and those better informed than myself can do so. I would also appreciate any and all input from any part of the blind and/or deaf community. If I’m overstepping or if I mess up, please tell me and I’ll apologize and correct myself.

This all goes under a cut due to length and the aforementioned. 

Okay, so. Beginning with blind.

First, we have the word haa’taylir, meaning to see. Haa’taylir comes from haat, truth, and taylir, hold, keep, preserve. There’s also the common mandalorian saying used to seal a pact: Haat, ijaa, haa'it — truth, honor, vision. So, we also have haa’it — vision. 

In mando’a, to see, or the act of seeing, translates to preserving the truth, or having vision (as opposed to vision in the act of seeing). Tacking on a negative prefix to this word … is, at risk of repeating myself, not a great idea.

For one, blindness? is more like a spectrum rather than a binary. People don’t exist in only two categories of can or can’t see. There’s a wide range of sightedness, and many who are legally blind aren’t wholly without sight, though there are many who are completely blind. Then add onto that that every individual person experiences sight differently — and also experiences blindness differently.

Ultimately, we want to avoid any negative connotations directly attached to a disability, for a number of ableism-related reasons — and not-so-gentle reminder that mandalorian culture would not carry ableist terminology nor support it in any way.

I would, really, rather come up with a new word to poetically encompass what it is, or may be, to be blind.

ur’nau’mur — without light���s kiss

For mandalorians, the word kiss carries the undercurrent of a joke of potential heavy-handedness. Mureyca, kiss, or Murcyur, to kiss, for mandalorians … also comes with the question response of “What kind?” Because as mandalorians kiss, they also have a very, very popular phrase (and act of affection) which is known as the Keldabe kiss — mirshmure’cya. Also known as a kov’nyn, headbutt, which is the physical act of expressing affection between two mandalorians in full armor: that is, knocking helmeted foreheads to each other.

It is, of course, the only way to kiss while still in armor — but it is implied, at least in Legends if not current canon, that mandalorians are perceived to express affection by headbutting … and the kov’nyn does have its place in the culture as a form of affectionate expression, platonic or otherwise. 

Ergo, without light’s kiss carries the meaning of being without light’s illumination, which can vary in dimension from heavy-handed to very soft, all depending entirely on context (which, in this case, would be an individual’s experience of blindness). 

If someone wanted or needed a sigil on one’s buy’ce, it may be NM, or UNM. Pronunciation is also fairly pleasant — oor (rhymes with moor), nau (rhymes with now), moor — and we avoid the negative connotations tied up in other alternatives. 

EDIT:: On further consideration, I also want to offer nu’nau’mur as an alternate word to ur’nau’mur, if only because of pronunciation and slightly different implication attaching the negative prefix of nu’ as opposed to ures, and also pronunciation is slightly more pleasant.

This also leads me to a different variation of the word, and the other end of the spectrum:

or’nau’mur — light’s great kiss

Think of it like … a blindness that comes from a flash bang / grenade. Too much light struck too fast or all at once, dazzling and shorting out vision. It’s also only slightly different than ur’nau’mur in pronunciation (or, rhymes with the word or), to keep a theme, or pair-words theme, going.

So we have without light’s kov’nyn, and we have too strong a kov’nyn, and both are a kind of poetic way of framing blindness.

Also note that light, in mandalorian culture, does not carry implication of “goodness” whatsoever. I would actually argue that good lies in space, in black, in justice, and not light, and never white. 

Actually, now that I said that …

nu’nau’jehaat / ur’nau’jehaat — without light’s deceit

In the event anyone wanted to throw one’s status as blind down as an insult, one could argue back that they are without light’s deceit — as, often, if you only discern things with just your eyes, entirely reliant only on what you see, you’re probably missing … well, everything.

It could be a tongue-in-cheek strong reprimand towards the offender, should they feel the need to correct the other person without giving them a swift kick in the shebs like they rightfully deserve. Or maybe give them both. 

It’s always good to have options.

Moving on to deafness …. Again, it is a spectrum of hearing. People do not exist in a binary of can or cannot hear, and so the word shouldn’t reflect an inaccurate binary.

So, to begin, we have the word to hear — susulur. The prefix could be from su, still, yet, or from sushir, to listen, and then ulur, care, take notice of, detect. 

This word carries … less of a particularly sensitive connotation to it, so attaching a negative prefix to it we then get: nu’susulur cannot hear. 

But deafness and cannot hear are two different things, and I was wondering if, maybe, it could be … something else. Or, rather, should be something else. And, tbh, I believe 100% it should be something else.

My thought was a play on a phrase we have, to rework an existing idea.

suum kaab’uur — beyond sound and silence

Deafness comes in many forms, and instead of treating it as a yes/no that nu’susulur ultimately is, describing a state of being offers more flexibility towards a spectrum and leaves room for dimension — ie. whether someone was born with it, or it developed over time, and all the many, many ways it can manifest or be experienced.

But it’s also important to understand that deafness is not wholly without sound, or without hearing, or not hearing, and it’s not silence. I mean, it could be, but it could also not be, and that’s generally the point I’m trying to make that most people don’t really understand or know or think about. 

Pronunciation can take a few forms, but we have suum, rhymes with soon, and kaab’uur, kah-AH-boor. The extra ‘ah’ is necessary to differentiate from cabur, but … now that I’ve said that, I kind of like the idea of beyond guardian, the slightest pun as a way to, again, shut down anyone who wanted to throw down one’s deafness as an insult. 

Beyond as indicated by suum is more related to … grand, poetic imagery. Cabur, guardian, protector. Together, one is a speaker of the stars, a champion of the space beyond sound and silence, where the voices of the ka’ra reach. (And, generally, cabur as it’s spelled should really be pronounced sah-boor, if the spelling conventions across mando’a were more consistently followed, but that’s for a whole different post to deal with.)

Ultimately though, take this entire post with a grain of salt because, again, I am neither deaf nor blind to the point of claiming any understanding of actual lived experiences. I am just trying to provide mando’a vocabulary in a way that is sensitive to the nature of blindness, and the nature of deafness, and the spectrum that both encompass — and adamant that we treat these topics with the sensitivity they deserve. 

Hell, the sensitivity they require. 

Hopefully … I’ve offered some acceptable potential words, at least for these two things. And, again — if I overstep or mess up, or fuck up, please reach out to me so I can correct it. 

Thanks for reading.

[mybacklogbattle]

An Interview With The House in Fata Morgana Localization Team

Adventure games have undergone a renaissance as of late. With numerous Game of the Year awards and high praise lauded onto Telltale’s The Walking Dead: Season 1, games such as the reimagining of Sierra’s King’s Quest, Dontnod’s fantastically told Life is Strange, and Supermassive’s Until Dawn have all garnered critical acclaim and continue to push the genre forward.

While western developers focused on the genre continue to look ahead, visual novels - a subset of the adventure game genre - are also beginning to see continued growth. Titles such as the Zero Escape and Danganronpa series are helping open players’ palates to new experiences unique to this form of expression. And while these franchises have yet to become household names, their impact is slowly being felt by players who want rich, deeply told stories but with an eastern twist.

My journey to discover more visual novels beyond the aforementioned series lead me to watch an independent film directed by Anne Ferrero called Branching Paths. The film featured more than a dozen Japanese independent developers and doujin and chronicled the rise of the indie scene in Japan over the past several years. But one game featured, in particular, piqued my interest.

That game was The House in Fata Morgana.

Interested in the process of bringing this title for the western market I sent an inquiry to the game’s publisher MangaGamer and spoke to them about what it means to bring the title to a new audience, the challenges they faced with localization, and a possible PlayStation Vita port. Because a man can dream, can’t I?

This interview was conducted by Alex, one of the hosts of the Backlog Battle Podcast. Please note that some of the images used may be considered spoiler material.

Backlog Battle: Can you give us a little background about who you are and what you did for the game?

BlackDragonHunt: Hey, I’m BlackDragonHunt. I handled both the translation and localization programming for The House in Fata Morgana – essentially, I was responsible for both making the text into English and actually putting it into the game and making sure it displayed on the screen properly.

ritobito: Hey! I’m ritobito, editor of The House in Fata Morgana and its upcoming pre-sequel, A Requiem for Innocence. Essentially, I take BDH’s translated text and made it even better. Or that’s the idea, anyway! BB: Can you name some of the games you’ve worked on prior to this?

BDH: As far as translation goes, Fata Morgana was my first official release. I also did an 18+ action-oriented visual novel for JAST USA, but that one’s still not out yet.

Programming-wise, I was fully responsible for work on Princess Evangile and MYTH (both available on Steam), and I’ve provided assistance with a handful of other games, such as Go! Go! Nippon! 2015, Tokyo Babel, and Himawari -The Sunflower-.

rito: I edited Sonicomi for JAST, as well as Gahkthun of the Golden Lightning and The Shadows of Pygmalion for MangaGamer, among others.

BB: Prior to working on the game, have you ever heard of The House in Fata Morgana before?

BDH: I’d heard of the game in passing, but only because I knew we had the license for it. I was only doing programming for MangaGamer at the time, so it wasn’t until I was assigned to work on it that I actually sat down and dug into it for real. I certainly never expected it would become one of my favorite games ever.

rito: I hadn’t! I remember the night when I was assigned to it as editor, and I just drooled over the art and premise. I figured it would be my kinda thing, but hoo boy, talk about an understatement.

BB: What made MangaGamer decide to choose The House in Fata Morgana as the next project?

John Pickett: (Editor’s note: John Pickett is the Head Translator/Marketing Manager at MangaGamer) In many ways our acquisition of Fata Morgana was a stroke of luck. One of our industry connections was fairly close to Novectacle when he heard about other parties reaching out to them about possible localization, so he recommended they speak to us as well.

While Novectacle was very much interested in expanding their title to the West, they still had a lot of ideas they were working on developing for the game’s universe (like the side stories and extra chapters included in our upcoming release of The House in Fata Morgana: A Requiem for Innocence). As we talked to them about the title and their company, we found it was something we could really enjoy ourselves, and something we thought the West needed to help show players of all ages the kind of quality stories Visual Novels can offer. After that we made them our offer, which they found much more appealing since they could trust us to complete a quality localization while they focused on development of the world and story.

BB: Because someone will want us to do so, I gotta ask: Is the process of localization, in general, easy?

BDH: Anything but. It’s a constant battle of words, trying to find exactly the right word or phrase to convey an idea, getting the flow and rhythm and voice down. It’s a lot like creative writing, only with a nice helping of literary analysis on the side. The story’s already there, so you’re not writing to communicate your own ideas – you’re writing to communicate *someone else’s* ideas.

rito: It greatly depends on the project, but in general, no, not really! There are so many factors to take into account, such as a project’s length and the complexity of its subject matter (a fluffy slice-of-life moege is most likely going to be a good bit easier than, say, a heavily philosophical chuuni sci-fi game). Things are especially variable for the editor — a polished translation right out of the gate is going to require a heck of a lot less time and effort to edit than a rough, literal translation that will essentially require a full rewrite, and either scenario is quite common in localization.

Fata Morgana falls much closer to the former!

BB: Can you give us a little bit of insight on your localization workflow?

BDH: It’s not always an option, but my first step is generally to play through the game and get a feel for the characters, the tone and atmosphere, the style, that sort of thing. While I’m reading, I’ll usually make note of any important terminology/catch phrases/character quirks/etc. and try to iron as much of that out as I can ahead of time. And once I’m done with that, I’ll actually get started on translation. Editing follows not far behind, so I make sure to keep in regular touch with my editor about major localization decisions, and we’ll often go back and forth tossing ideas around for difficult lines until we come up with something satisfying. Then repeat the cycle again and again for X months until it’s finished and I decide I want to rewrite everything but I can’t because the game would never come out.

rito: In the case of Fata Morgana, I began the editing phase fairly late in the translation process, so I was fortunate enough to be able to read through most of the game with BDH’s translation already inserted. As BDH said, being able to read through a game beforehand isn’t always an option, but it’s something I like to do whenever time permits.

Really, though, the editing process isn’t all that different from translation in terms of workflow. Paying close attention to things like character voice and quirks (already adapted quite well by BDH, mind you!), style, tone… and making sure it all comes together elegantly in the end. BB: Aside from doing a fantastic job with localization, were there any other goals you imposed upon yourselves personally when tackling this game?

BDH: Fata Morgana tackles a lot of really heavy subject matter with care and respect, and I wanted to make absolutely sure that came through in the translation. It’s a very delicate balance portraying *characters* who are insensitive and disrespectful with regards to these topics without the *game* itself appearing the same way, and it was one of our top priorities to make sure we got that right.

rito: Getting everything done on time was a pretty big goal! But yeah, riffing off of what BDH said, I absolutely wanted to handle the game’s sensitive topics with care as well. For instance, I didn’t want anything to jump out as overly jarring, unless I was reasonably sure that it was meant to be so (and this was certainly the case at times)… but at the same time, I absolutely wanted to ensure that the dramatic, emotional moments had the biggest impact possible. Man, I love them emotional gut-punches.

BB: What were the challenges you faced during localization?

BDH: For me, the historical aspects were a big hurdle. The game takes place across a variety of time periods, each one with its own historical and cultural background that inspires events. I’m not a huge history buff though, so I spent a lot of time researching and asking questions to try and better understand that context.

rito: Yeah, the historical stuff was tricky. On my end, I wanted to sprinkle just enough archaisms and old-fashioned language to make each era stand out, without alienating the reader. At first, I toyed with the idea of going ham on each era’s language, adapting to period-appropriate dialects and such, but it became evident almost immediately that, even if I were able to accurately do so, it would take a tremendous amount of time and effort and very likely rub the reader the wrong way. Not to mention the question of what to do in chapters set even before Early Modern English, in France, etc. BB: How has The House in Fata Morgana been accepted by the western audience thus far?

BDH: The reception’s been pretty amazing so far. I’ve seen so much love from nearly everyone who’s played it, and I couldn’t be happier.

rito: Overwhelmingly well! I had the utmost confidence that others would adore this game as I had, so I’m hardly surprised to see glowing praise for it week after week. And that’s another exciting thing — even a full year later, word continues to spread thanks to the incredibly passionate fans.

BB: What are your thoughts on the visual novel genre in general?

BDH: I think the combination of visuals, audio, text, and interactivity allows VNs to tell a wide range of compelling stories that couldn’t exist in any other form. It’s a medium with a rich history and broad selection of games with something to offer almost everyone, in both Japanese and English. But while the market’s certainly growing, many incredible titles still go sadly unnoticed outside of a small circle.

rito: It’s such an incredibly accessible, versatile genre. If you’re craving a strong story with a powerful payoff, it’s so easy to hop right into a VN. From a creative perspective as well, VNs make it incredibly easy to tell that story, allowing aspiring writers and game developers to share their creations with the world far easier than if they were to make a traditional game.

BB: What are your favorite games in the genre?

BDH: Fata Morgana, obviously. Other favorites include Steins;Gate, Ever17, the Flowers series, and the Clockwork Ley-Line series. I could go on for a while.

rito: I love the “Infinity” series (Ever17 and Remember11, in particular), Liar-soft’s Steampunk series (Gahkthun, Sona-Nyl, and so on), Code: Realize, Steins;Gate, Kara no Shoujo… and of course the “hybrid” games such as Danganronpa.

BB: With the increasing popularity of visual novels such as Zero Escape and the Danganronpa series on consoles, will the Vita version ever see the light of day in the West?

BDH: I certainly hope so!

rito: Vita Means Life. Never say never!

BB: Would you like to say anything to anyone who’s thinking about picking up this game?

BDH: Fata Morgana is a wholly unique game that takes advantage of the visual novel medium to tell a story that wouldn’t be possible in any other format. It’s a heartrending tale that deals with subjects you don’t often see broached in *any* medium.

If you’re on the fence, download the demo! It’ll let you try the first two chapters in their entirety for free.

Also be aware that the game gets into some *very* heavy, potentially distressing subject matters. We put out a content advisory before release – which you can find here: http://blog.mangagamer.org/2016/05/12/the-house-in-fata-morgana-content-advisory/ – because we want everyone to be able to engage with the story on their own terms.

rito: Definitely check out the demo — that’ll give you a good taste of the game’s juicy story, even if it’s just an appetizer for the feast that follows. To say nothing of the masterful artwork and music, if you enjoy stories filled with wholly human struggles, exploring the extreme highs and lows of humanity with no stone left unturned (and no loose ends left dangling) by the end, this is definitely the VN for you.

Everyone involved in this game poured their hearts and souls into it, and the end result is a game that I truly consider a masterpiece.

The House in Fata Morgana is available on Steam as of this writing for $24.99.

[urban-sere]

SERE Training (Common Misunderstandings)

We were recently involved with an event (our involvement non SERE related)   and happened to overhear a group talking about SERE Training and it was clear that they had a very slewed understanding of what it all meant.  So without naming and shaming lets try education and begin by looking back at where SERE came from and where this confusion may have begun...

Combat Survival 

In decades gone by there was a recognition, certainly with the UK, that military survival was generally based on the prospect of having to stay alive after being separated from a larger formation or unit in conflict and would involve movement through occupied terrain and evasion from capture.  Generally the terms Combat Survival were used but also E&E became commonly understood to mean similar movement in contested battle space.  E&E (Escape and Evasion) certainly conjures up a precise act of escaping and remaining at large.  However, the escape in this term was not escape from captivity but escape from an environment/country.  As such it was wrongly understood serviceman were taught to ‘escape’; that it was ‘a duty to escape’, and that they could simply break out of anywhere.  A ‘Duty to escape’ this has never been written into the Queen’s regulations and to this day is a commonly misunderstood aspect.  BUT, and it is a big but, it is written that for every day one is held captive and fails to take reasonable steps to rejoin Her Majesty’s forces one may be docked pay.  Or in other words, its not your ‘Duty’ to escape but if you don't try we can stop paying you...  Hmm, not very British is it!

At the end of the Korean war  the US realised that many of their captured troops had been heavily indoctrinated by the communists and sought to address that.  They wrote their ‘Code of Conduct’ which outlined the simple rules they should follow to defeat any future brainwashing attempts.  However it was not flexible and where people were given ultimatums of talk or die - left no one any space to manoeuvre.  Around about the Vietnam war era the US began to coin the phrase SERE.  They have a very precise definition which has since been universally recognised by NATO along the lines of:

SERE is the suite of skills that allows an Isolated Person (IP) to Survive in the environment, evade capture from hostile forces and if caught resist interrogation while taking action to escape from captivity and get home. (or words to that effect)

SERE (Survive Evade Resist & Escape) (the US model) was further refined by Col Nick Rowe who was a US Special Forces Officer captured early on in the Vietnam conflict and as a result spent 5 years in captivity before eventually escaping and being rescued.  His experiences in captivity  and seeing how strong willed men who correctly followed the Code of Conduct had been killed as a result gave him insight to modify the way the code was interpreted and a new mantra “Return with Honour” began to enter the training.  It forged a way for people to take appropriate actions under duress to stay alive but also keep integrity and honour.

When the British adopted the SERE model and in light of the ‘ESCAPE’ issue highlighted above it was decided that the escape element should really be EXTRACT and it was taught that being rescued was the most likely form of repatriation.  SERE (Survive Evade Resist & EXTRACT) was adopted by and remains the UK model.  However, there have been advances made in escape training, principally as a result of a study written in 2007 by Flt Lt C Allen RAF.  Although almost all UK MoD SERE Training has a SECRET classification, it is not too difficult to dig around the internet and gain a reasonable idea of what it entails. The lion’s share of the classified information regards the ways in which servicemen are taught to deal with hostile questioning.  RTI (Resistance to Interrogation)(Formerly CAC - Conduct After Capture) now known simply as Resistance [Training] covers this in detail.  Suffice to say it isn't pleasant training and both history and psychologists have demonstrated that everyone will have breaking point.

SERE training is far more than the old E&E or Combat Survival but each nation within NATO may use a slightly different acronym and have a slightly different programme.  Does any of this really matter, well only in so much that if one is talking about SERE and doesn't know these differences then ignorance will be highlighted and the inevitable questions of qualification and experience will be brought into question.  Consider any subject of which YOU are knowledgeable and consider what your immediate thoughts would be if anyone conversing with you made erroneous statements or incorrect quotations or even used simple the wrong terminology.  Im sure you would be questioning what they really knew or calling them out!

The full SERE Spectrum incorporates Peacetime as well as Conflict and is now described as being Permissive or Non-permissive.  To learn more about SERE and how these subjects can be utilised to keep you safe travelling, on holiday or even in your daily activities, contact us at www.urban-sere.com

[urdughazals-blog]

Seeking to Learn Urdu Language

There are a whole lot of advantages in mastering an extra language. It typically is very beneficial in many sections of normal life. A range of men and women learn a new vocabulary seeing it as a free time activity and enjoyable hobby, a couple of for a few additional explanations. Each state has their own national language such as English being UK's and US's federal language.

The source of Urdu language

Urdu has origins in Turkish and camp or military. It occurred throughout the 16th century Mughal emperor of India Akbar's principle the Urdu language acquired its beginning. Since the military was a multilingual one, Urdu has been utilized as function as common language for communication functions while it evolved out of many different languages like Punjabi, Arabic, Turkish, Pushto as well as Sanskrit.

Urdu speech is really Pakistan's national speech in which a high amount of individuals talk. Together with Pakistan becoming a popular tourist destination that's famous for the hills and flatlands, once you're one of the thousands of tourists who visit Pakistan daily, you've got an extra advantage whilst visiting in the event that you understand ways to converse with this gorgeous language.

A number of possibilities for studying Urdu

There are quite a few choices for analyzing Urdu; simply pick the ideal option which you find handy to utilize to understand Urdu. Obviously, the easiest and most convenient means of studying the terminology is using a diploma in an Urdu college. That being said you could get this to be a costly alternative on account of this university prices. A much better and less costly option is to take advantage of a correspondence course to understand and speak Urdu.

If you would like to personally examine Urdu, attempt to come across online Urdu lodging suppliers. You may see several online websites online which may help you read, talk and also learn how to compose the language through your telephone or the net. This is a really common option for studying the Urdu language since possible understand the language when you need without needing to spend much money because of it.

Benefits of studying Urdu language

Whilst studying Urdu, it's a fantastic idea that you'd love to comprehend the fundamental expressions or phrases to get daily conversations from the speech. With this specific understanding, you'll have the ability to earn a range of friends and if you be fortunate enough, similarly locate your spouse by means of quite a few dating and social web-sites. As a consequence of mastering Urdu terminology, it's likely to operate in areas like Pakistan in addition to India and for this reason possess the capacity to visit these places.

Knowing another language can tremendously maximize opportunities to come across a much better job. Becoming bi-lingual gives you with a position in the work world which not many individuals have. Besides the benefit to seek out work, mastering Urdu may be an excellent way to find out about the oriental civilization too.

Along with all of this, once you get better in Urdu, you will have the ability to browse through and enjoy the several parts of excellent books written in Urdu. Because many advantages be certain that you think about learning Urdu, now this is sometimes a whole lot simpler to perform and very shortly you'll be a master in it. Find out more info click Urdu Shayari

[stimmywombat]

Hey, so I’m about to start therapy and I’ve kind of tried to do this a couple of times in my last semester at school. So far my experiences with therapy have been brief and unhelpful. 

The first time I tried therapy was last summer (this was before I thought autism was a possibility)  and that was really unsuccessful and I went away crying. The first red flag was that the therapist literally diagnosed my mom with ocd after I literally just said that she as neat and I am a human embodiment of chaos so that causes friction when we live together the exact phrasing she used was “so she has some ocd tendencies” and that one sentence was the only description I had given her and she had never met my mom, so as a medical professional she should know that you can’t diagnose someone on that little information and even if she wasn’t being literal or serious it’s still shitty to throw around that kind of terminology lightly. So that was shitty and ableist. And then she just recommended like visualization exercises (which can work but which can also be found on google very easily for free, not for a hundred and fifty dollars, and don’t work for me that’s why I was going to a therapist in the first place) and some weird hypnosis like thing which had you look at flashing pictures while recounting traumatic memories which I looked up later and I found some studies that  said it had some efficacy but it was basically on par with talk therapy and any efficacy it had was probably due to the talking about the traumatic memories not the flashing pictures which is some placebo effect pseudoscience bullshit. (Also I didn’t feel like my problems could be linked to any specific traumatic events or anything and the fact that I could do more quality research than her was a bit concerning ).So I didn’t go to a second session.

  The second therapist I went to was ok but it was at one of those free university counseling programs. So she wasn’t qualified to diagnose me with anything and I was like I know that I’ve got something going on so it might be a good idea to try to identify what that is before the therapizing and I got the impression that she was used to dealing with neurotypicals who were just anxious about school and stuff not people who had actual serious mental health problems. She was a lot better than the first lady because she would mostly sit and listen and she would ask me questions about like how I coped with stuff though she didn’t really give me any helpful techniques she tried a few things but none of them were that helpful or anything but there is value in just sitting and listening, so she had the first lady who talked for half the session beat by a mile. I also brought up the autism being a possibility with her but she just kind of ignored it. Going there was kind of like going to career counseling and a few months in I decided that I needed to go see a real therapist because it was like I think I’m autistic and also I’ve been low key suicidal since I was 12 I need someone who’s qualified and able to not just give me value neutral answers even if I have to spend some money.

The third therapist I went to was also through the university. She was the only halfway decent one and the only helpful one but I only got to see her for a couple of months. In the first session I told her that I thought I might be autistic (and I had a lot of things prepared to back me up) and she agreed well she said that I have some autistic traits which is therapy hedging but oh well take what you can get. And she would let you go on walks while doing the therapy which was super helpful and she actually did this thing when I was anxious like one time I told her that I was anxious about a paper and that I wanted to talk to my professor about it and she actually like helped me script out what I would say to him an like helped me come up with a concrete plan to get the paper done and I was like yes, this is actually helpful to me in a way that all this vague touchy feely mindfulness and stuff wasn’t at all. (specifically the second therapist introduced mindfulness as like focusing on individual sensory things, like focus on how you feel in your chair or focus on the sounds in the room which just wrecked havoc with my sensory issues and just kind of made my skin crawl. I think she didn’t realize that I don’t have any problem noticing sensations like that my problem is that I can’t tune them out and in fact I’m constantly trying to tune them out.) And I think it’s because she took my autism into account and realized that concrete was the way to go. But then I graduated and moved back home and I couldn’t go to her anymore. 

So now I have to go see a new therapist and trying to find a therapist just through insurance is exhausting. Like on the list that I got from my insurance literally the first 3 pages were not valid in that they had moved or they didn’t accept my insurance anymore or they were part of a big institution that had set up a fake address for some reason or they just did children or they did aromatherapy or some other pseudoscientific bullshit . And there’s no way to like filter through this giant list so to be honest trying to find a therapist who accepts my insurance  and does autism would be a million times harder (especially one that I can get to without a car) and also there’s the danger of running into aba people and the difficulty of finding someone who does adults (also I’m undiagnosed soooo there’s that). And I live in the middle of a pretty big city right next to six different hospitals. It still took me 3 days of intense searching to find a therapist who would even do anxiety and depression (aka the most common mental illnesses), I eventually found one through one of the ones who didn’t take my insurance calling me back and giving me some recommendations. 

 I have my first appointment on Monday. And my dilemma is a. how does one approach therapy so that it is successful and b. how to successfully bring up the autism since I did it twice and the results were mixed (like I got some ableism from 3rd somewhat decent therapy lady too). I mean I could not but I feel like I would be just talking around it and I think bringing it up could provide context to my issues that I’m trying to solve. I’m also not really looking to get a professional diagnosis because they can cost up to 3,000$ and I feel that therapy would be more helpful to me and with insurance that 3000$ equals 100 therapy sessions also I do not have that much money in general also it could be a disadvantage especially with you know who in office (though I’m already screwed preexisting condition wise since I’ve had asthma since I was 3). I’m worried that a. I could get some ableist bullshit from this therapist that I’ve worked so hard to find and b. she could decide that shes not qualified to treat me and I will be left in the lurch. And when I brought it up to the other 2 therapists I didn’t really do it in a calculating way I just kind of babble when I’m nervous and it slipped out. So idk, any thoughts?

[dahoodsie]

The CoW WWF Drinking Game

A special treat for all you Jerichoholics, we hope this game will grow and grow... though we can't say we hope the same for The Game's Pinocchio Nose.

It is not necessary to quaff alcohol to participate in this game. If you just end up having to pee a lot, that's good enough for us.

Events

Angle-isms: Drink for every occurrence of a phrase like "It could, it could," "I am, I am," "It's true, it's true."

Bambi: Drink whenever Shane McMahon tries to look mean and fails miserably.

Challenger: Drink whenever the champion enters first, 'cuz tradition sucks (apparently).

Chatty Matty: This is also in the nHo Manic Panic drinking game, but too bad. This is a swig for every time he comes down the ramp flailing his arms and yelling.

Edge's Tights: Every time he yanks em up, drink. Yes, even if he does it twice in a row. If they ever come off, beware of snarfing. Then finish your drink.

Eyebrow: Every time you see it raised, drink. Be very careful, if they show the Rock's entrance video you may be in dire trouble.

H3's Rants: Whenever he comes out to talk trash at the end of HeAT but is cut off by the beginning of a PPV, the least you can do is take a drink for Hunter. Feel free to do the same when he fills up the first 20 minutes of RAW.

Ho-Lame: If any ho should trip or stumble en route to the ring... drink!

Names: Whenever JR or Lilian don't seem to know who someone is and thus call them a random name as though they were a harried mom with too many kids, take a swig. Drink as much as you wanna if it's a Hardy. Los Bros really look alike, dontcha think?

Repetition: If a move is named more than once ("The Rock Bottom! The Rock Bottom!"), drink. If it is named three times or more, take a hefty pull.

SexayGush: Every time the King gushes over his son in his colorful commentary, take a swig for nepotism.

Stupid Little Guy Move: Toast to the little guy's inability to learn.  Two drinks if it's a guy who's usually not considered a little guy, but somehow manages to do the SLGM anyway (e.g., Test vs. Viscera).

Yay!/Boo!: Drink if you can tell whether someone's a heel or a face this week depending on whether Lawler or JR are rooting for them.

Vocabulary

Drink whenever you hear the following words:

AUTHORITY, TREMENDOUS (drink twice if it's in connection with ATHLETE(S) or ATHLETICISM), STEEL (take a hefty pull if it's prefaced with UNFORGIVING), HUMAN BEING(S), LACKADAISICAL, CARNAGE, SCINTILLATING, DOMINANT, AGGRESSIVE(LY), and OMINOUS (this last preferably in conjunction with inanimate objects such as ladders and cages).

Drink twice when you hear the following phrases:

"IN THIS VERY RING", "Not tonight -- NOT ANY NIGHT!", and any time someone makes it personal.

Moves

Whenever you've stopped cheering enough so that you won't drown, drink for any of the following:

Event Omega, Chyna's handspring, whenever X-Pac misses the Bronco Buster and gets fresh with the ringpost, and whenever JR is forced to confess he has no idea what move just occurred.

As a bonus, we will supply you with the following

Recipes

DX Blood: Tall glass of lemonade, limeade or Sprite -- add generous amounts of Midori until you achieve the desired color. Its variation, X-Pac Blood, is made with Mountain Dew so you can get lots of energy.

Mad CoW: In a short glass, mix 1 generous shot of vodka, 1 shot of Coffeemate liquid hazelnut creamer, milk to taste, and ice.

The Bride is a bartender, expect additions to this section as well! Yay!

Other Terminology

Being Steve: The practice of drinking really bad cheap beer no one would normally touch, generally while wrestling is on.

Bump Anal Slam: This was an accidental addition that we have come to adore. It refers both to the pump handle slam and to the, uh unique manner Road Dogg treats his opponents from behind.

EWYWYL: Even When You Win, You Lose. Refers to the common event of wrestlers being oh so happy they won, only to have someone do a run-in and beat the living pus out of them. Sometimes we see the variant Even When You Lose, You Lose Even More, when insult is added to injury.

Jyhad: Something we used to do on Sunday nights instead of watching Music Video Hour, I mean, HeAT. That would be a vampire card game by WOTC and, wouldn't you know it, White Wolf Game Studios. When you are winning, you have an ephemeral quality called the edge, thus, we use Edge (giving even more encouragement to bleed people like a sumbitch). Whoever feels they're getting their ass kicked too much gets to have Christian.

Out Of Game: How we refer to wrestlers' actual lives. "Ooh, Kane looks like he's really hurt outta game!" Conversely, stuff that happens as part of a plot is In Game. This is because many of us are geeks who indulge in live-action roleplaying games -- also quite often apparent when we discuss Gangrel.

Ricotta: An affectation that has sprung up in response to declarations about the STEEL steps (ramp, cage, chair, etc.) Suggestive of the idea "Is there, perhaps, something else they would be made out of?" The Bitch Queen suggests Jell-O as another possibility, while TB insists on tofu.

Stupid Little Guy Move: This describes any aerial move done by someone who is petite in comparison to their opponent that results in their being caught midair and worn as a piece of jewelry. It almost never eeeeeevah works, but people keep doing it -- presumably for comedic effect.

Violent Head: What D'Von jumps from the ropes to give his opponents after teammate Bahburr helpfully holds their legs wide open.

[paleorecipecookbook]

Why Has the American Approach to Heart Disease Failed?

Jane Brody wrote an article in The New York Times called “Learning from Our Parents’ Heart Health Mistakes.” She argues that despite decades of advice to change our diet and lifestyle in order to reduce our risk of heart disease, we still depend far too much on drugs and expensive procedures like stents. She says:

Too often, the American approach to heart disease amounts to shutting the barn door after the horse has escaped.

To support this argument, she refers to a recent paper published on the Tsimane, an indigenous population in the Bolivian Amazon. The study found that the rate of coronary atherosclerosis in the Tsimane was one-fifth of that observed in the United States (and the lowest that has ever been measured). Nearly nine in 10 Tsimane had unobstructed coronary arteries and no evidence of heart disease, and the researchers estimated that the average 80-year-old Tsimane has the same vascular age as an American in his mid-50s. I certainly agree with Ms. Brody so far, and her analogy that the American approach to heart disease amounts to shutting the barn door after the horse has escaped is spot on. The problem is what comes next, as she attempts to answer the question of why the Tsimane have so much less heart disease than Americans:

Protein accounts for 14 percent of their calories and comes primarily from animal meats that, unlike American meats, are very low in artery-clogging saturated fat. [emphasis mine]

Does saturated fat “clog” your arteries?

Artery-clogging saturated fat? Are we still using that phrase in 2017? As I’ve written before, on average, long-term studies do not show an association between saturated fat intake and blood cholesterol levels. (1) (I say “on average” because individual response to saturated fat can vary based on genetics and other factors—but this is a subject for another article.) If you’re wondering whether saturated fat may contribute to heart disease in some way that isn’t related to cholesterol, a large meta-analysis of prospective studies involving close to 350,000 participants found no association between saturated fat and heart disease. (2)

Does saturated fat really “clog” your arteries?

Are “clogged arteries” the cause of heart disease?

Moreover, as Peter Attia eloquently and thoroughly described in this article, the notion that atherosclerosis is caused by “clogged arteries” was shown to be false many years ago:

Most people, doctors included, think atherosclerosis is a luminal-narrowing condition—a so-called “pipe narrowing” condition. It’s true that eventually the lumen of a diseased vessel does narrow, but this is sort of like saying the defining feature of a subprime collateralized debt obligation (CDO) is the inevitable default on its underlying assets. By the time that happens, eleven other pathologic things have already happened and you’ve missed the opportunity for the most impactful intervention to prevent the cascade of events from occurring at all. To reiterate: atherosclerosis development begins with plaque accumulation in the vessel wall, which is accompanied by expansion of the outer vessel wall without a change in the size of the lumen. Only in advanced disease, and after significant plaque accumulation, does the lumen narrow.

Michael Rothenberg also published an article on the fallacy of the “clogged pipe” hypothesis of heart disease. He said:

Although the image of coronary arteries as kitchen pipes clogged with fat is simple, familiar, and evocative, it is also wrong.

If heart disease isn’t caused by “clogged arteries,” what does cause it?

The answer to that question is a little more complex. For a condensed version, read my article “The Diet-Heart Myth: Why Everyone Should Know Their LDL Particle Number.” For a deeper dive, read Dr. Attia’s article. Here’s the 15-second version, courtesy of Dr. Attia:

Atherosclerosis is caused by an inflammatory response to sterols in artery walls. Sterol delivery is lipoprotein-mediated, and therefore much better predicted by the number of lipoprotein particles (LDL-P) than by the cholesterol they carry (LDL-C).

You might think that I’m splitting hairs here over terminology, but that’s not the case. It turns out that this distinction—viewing heart disease as caused by high LDL-P and inflammation, rather than arteries clogged by saturated fat—has crucial implications when it comes to the discussion of how to prevent it. Because while it’s true that a high intake of saturated fat can elevate LDL particle number in some people, this appears to be a minority of the population. The most common cause of high LDL-P in Americans—and elsewhere in the industrial world—is almost certainly insulin resistance and metabolic syndrome. (I explain why in this article.) And what is one of the most effective ways of treating insulin resistance and metabolic syndrome? That’s right: a low-carbohydrate, high-fat diet!

News flash: diets high in saturated fat may actually prevent heart disease

Perhaps this explains why low-carbohydrate, high-fat diets (yes, including saturated fat) have been shown to reduce the risk of heart disease. For example, a meta-analysis of 17 low-carb diet trials covering 1,140 obese patients published in the journal Obesity Reviews found that low-carb diets were associated with significant decreases in body weight, as well as improvements in several CV risk factors, including decreases in triglycerides, fasting glucose, blood pressure, body mass index, abdominal circumference, plasma insulin, and C-reactive protein, as well as an increase in HDL cholesterol. (3) (In case you’re wondering, low-carb diets in these studies had a null effect on LDL cholesterol: they neither increased nor decreased it.)

Saturated fat is a red herring

Instead of focusing so much on saturated fat intake, which is almost certainly a red herring, why not focus on other aspects of the Tsimane’s diet and lifestyle that might contribute to their low risk of heart disease? For example:

They are extremely active physically; Tsimane men walk an average of 17,000 steps a day, and Tsimane women walk an average of 15,000 steps a day—and they don’t sit for long periods. Ms. Brody does mention this in her article.

They don’t eat processed and refined foods. We have been far too focused on calories and macronutrient ratios and not enough on food quality. We now know that hunter–gatherers and pastoralists around the world have thrived on both high-carbohydrate, low-fat diets (like the Tsimane, who get 72 percent of calories from carbohydrate) and low-carbohydrate, high-fat diets (like the Masai and Inuit). But what all hunter–gatherer diets share in common is their complete absence of processed and refined foods.

Perhaps if we stopped focusing so much on the amount of fat and carbohydrate in our diet and started focusing more on the quality of the food we eat, we’d be better off. And of course we also need to attend to the many other differences between our modern lifestyle (which causes heart disease) and the ancestral lifestyle (which prevents it), including physical activity, sleep, stress, light exposure, play/fun, and social support. The Tsimane study illustrates exactly why an evolutionary perspective on diet, lifestyle, and behavior is so important. It helps us to generate hypotheses on what aspects of our modern way of life may be contributing to chronic diseases like atherosclerosis and gives us ideas about what interventions we need to make to prevent and reverse these diseases. Okay, that’s it for now. Let me know what you think in the comments!

Source: http://chriskresser.com April 18, 2017 at 08:07PM

[newtshirtcom]

Trust and Treachery shirt

Trust and Treachery shirt

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[tyworc12099]

Blog Assignment #3

Blog Assignment #3

Typography, the study of text...to be honest, I didn’t really know what that meant. After doing some class readings, I wanted to freshen my understanding of the topic. Just like in any other form of communication, there is a secondary function of communication that means just as much or more than the main mode of communication. Nonverbal versus verbal is the most commonly understood example. Typography is the secondary form of communication to any written language, the nonverbal to written’s verbal. An example of this is a serif font. A serif is a font that utilizes tails on the end of lines in words that add almost a fancy aesthetic to the font. It represents a more traditional purpose and is more likely to be used on wedding invitations and gift cards. San (San is french for ‘without’) serif, however, it is the same type of font, but it omits these tails at the end of lines and is a much simpler font. We see this type of font often on our phones, tablets, and computers because it is easier to read on devices. 

If you want to get your message across in the most efficient way, understanding these secondary meanings or typography will help you put together graphic designs, presentations, and other projects with more meaning. Typography is more than the style of the text. In the additional research that I did, I learned about four typography techniques practiced frequently even if the person using the text isn’t aware of the terminology that applies. Hierarchy, leading, tracking, and kerning are the four techniques I learned about. Hierarchy is similar to constructivism as it focuses on what the viewer is going to see first and how you can enhance your text to gather more attention. Leading refers to line spacing. The focus of leading is to make the text as comfortable as possible to read for the viewers. Tracking, or character spacing, focuses on adding effects through spacing and fix fonts that may look better at different spacings. And, lastly, kerning, the most unique out of the four. It does focus on character spacing but it refers to the individual spacing between the characters and how different letters fit together. This is important when looking at the text as a whole and deciding whether or not it is visually pleasing. I also learned about the effect of different fonts and how that can bring different tones from professionals to carry into text. After going over this typography information I decided to apply it to these three visuals: Pink Floyd’s 1970 poster for their performance at the Pepperland auditorium, the 50th anniversary cover of “To Kill a Mockingbird” and a slide from a slide show on typography. This is my analysis of the visuals.

This Pink Floyd poster has bright colors, soft colors, graphic text, and multiple artistic hooks with the intent to grab the attention of the viewer. This poster was part of Pink Floyd's October 1970’s tour. This poster highlighted the performance on October 16 &17th to take place at Pepperland auditorium, in San Rafael, California. The event was supported by Kimberly and Osceola, and lights were by the Brotherhood of Light. This concert was interesting because the opening piece “Astronomy Domine” and the encore piece “ A Saucerful Of Secrets” had multiple false starts due to power failures. The Hierarchy technique starts with the band name and ends with some of the more minor details about the tour. Leading focuses are on giving the more important information enough space to get the point across. The character spacing or tracking of the band name is sacrificed to achieve an artistic effect of becoming the eyelashes of the crying eye in the poster. The kerning, space between specific characters, is also sacrificed to achieve the same artistic goal. By having the eye ‘cry’ into the bottom half of the poster, the spacing in Kimberly is split in two. Although symmetrical, the kerning between the ‘b’ and the ‘e’ in Kimberly seems awkward when examining it outside of the artistic context. In addition, the rest of the letters look as if they are overlapping or on top of each other because of the lack of space set aside for the text. I think the poster itself doesn’t have a strong ethical bias but what it stands for does govern the principles and people’s actions. Going to a concert or being part of a group that likes certain bands can have an effect on how you conduct yourself. Examples are the way you dress, talk, act, what is ok, what is not ok. I don’t believe that a band has the ability or want to manipulate people into a certain way of thought, i.e. propaganda. But I want them to enjoy the work that they put out.

Touring bands were a common occurrence during this time, and there were a lot of bands that people really enjoy that they would come out to support. Similar to the ethical perspective, these bands influenced the culture by what they put out and how it affected the listener. Did it change their way of thinking, the way they dressed, talked, etc.? It all depended on the message of the songs these bands put out. Furthermore, things were much different in the ’70s   compared to fifty years later. Today I can pull up recordings of concerts and watch them privately in the comfort of my home. I can even do this in a live setting. Back then, this may have not been an option for most people, so going to a concert and seeing a band play for some may be the only opportunity that they got to experience this music live. Even the technologies of recorded music were far behind today’s standard and the same could be said about the contrast of recorded music between these time periods. 

The next visual that I looked at is a slide from a presentation on typography. I choose this because those who study typography have a really good understanding of hierarchy, leading, tracking, and kerning. This one slide capitalizes on all those techniques, especially the idea that opposites attract. It is very common to complement a type of text with something that is different. But it is hard because as a graphic designer you don’t want to end up with texts that clash because they are too different, or something that becomes hard to read. The slide uses Hierarchy, which focuses on what the eye will notice first and then last. When I look at this, the first thing I noticed is the number 4. The reason? It is the biggest, it's bolded, and located at the top of the picture, with nothing contesting its space. The four is heavily accented. That is what draws your eye to it first. When it comes to leading, this slide does a nice job of using its space. None of the text is cramped and hard to read, and it is not too spread out so that someone would lose their way while they are trying to read the text. It also is symmetrical and looks as if it belongs in the format. 

Next are tracking and kerning. Although they are similar, they are also different. Kerning focuses on the specific space between characters and varies over the course of the word because letters fit together differently, while tracking is more concerned with general character spacing across the entire word or phrase. What is nice about this slide is that you can use tracking to emphasize certain parts of your message. An example of this is the number 4, which has the most space out of the entire slide. Although it may look borderline awkward, it's that isolation that makes it different and unique, and that is what draws the attention of the viewer. The use of kerning is also interesting when examining the word typography. For some students, cursive is not learned typography anymore. With that being said, sometimes when people try to read it, the message can be miscommunicated. It looks to me that the person who has put together this slide took the time to choose a font that had large spacing between letters that are harder to read in cursive writing without making the entirety of the word look unformatted. It is even more clear when you look at the ‘r’ because it clearly has the most space out of all the letters in the word but is the most unusual when comparing written letters to cursive letters.    

Lastly, I want to look at a book that I read in grade school. After learning about visual communication, I have come to understand more about the book: “To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee. The 50th-anniversary book has a cool cover, I remember as a child my mother told me that I had a summer reading assignment and it was to read this book. I read it, wrote about it, and when I was about to leave for my first day of school my mother told me she lied about the summer reading and just wanted me to read the book. I was pretty salty going to my first day of school that year. One thing I found entrancing about this book is the cover; it has a lot of typography skills incorporated into it. “To Kill a Mockingbird” is considered by many a masterpiece of American literature. The first publication was in 1960 and it was up for a Pulitzer Prize in 1961.  Since its first publication, there has been a movie adaptation of the story and 18 million copies printed in over 10 languages. The font for the title of the book does a couple of things. First, it has an artist component, making it seem as if the text is part of the tree. This makes the typography more visually pleasing. Like in any form of communication, however, there is also a nonverbal component. In typography, some fonts seem casual, traditional, formal, or maybe even graphic. The font for the title seems graphic, as it tries to project the dismal uncertainties within the story. From a constructivist view, I feel that the use of the moon behind the title and the contrast between white and black bring the viewers’ attention to the title almost immediately. Then the rest of the cover is taken in on a secondary preview. In summary, I believe that the color, artistic context, and aesthetic contrast add a lot of technical perspectives to the cover of this book, as well as to the ethical and cultural concerns with the story within adding another level of depth to the visual communications of this book.

The cover itself does not infer anything. The story is the core essence of the ethics of the book. If you have read “To Kill a Mockingbird,” you know that the story takes place during the great depression in the small town of Maycomb. You also know that the town of Maycomb is racist in its perspective on African Americans and the culture. The racism that is portrayed in this story I find to be uncomfortable and if there was a town that functions in that way in today’s time I wouldn’t want to find myself there. The main ethical point this book makes is delivered by Scout, one of the main characters in the story. Throughout the years and trials and tribulations she witnesses and faces she is in a constant battle of whether or not human kindness is a living entity in the world. It was Atticus, her father, who told her that human kindness begins with the ability to see things from others’ perspectives with sympathy and to not allow prejudice to shatter her understanding of human goodness. I think that, if this is a lesson that you were able to learn sooner in your life, it will pay off much more than someone who has just read the book recently. I think that when I read this book it was quite a culture shock for me. But I think that when this was written this story was not too far fetched for them. It was about the constant oppression that Black Americans faced in their daily lives. It was a part of the culture. To be honest, it's sad, dismal, upsetting, and just negative in general. That was translated into Harper Lee’s book, so I think part of the color choice these dark tones with bright contrast really does reflect how dark things are in this story. It also adds to the depressing aura that the cover can give off if you had spent the time to read the story and to understand the historical contexts and perspective within the book.

In conclusion, typography is much more than the study of the text. It is the study of meaning within the text and so much more. Understanding typography is like understanding nonverbal communication:  not everyone gets it but those who do have an advantage when communicating. When you write papers, work on presentations, write letters of recommendation, resumes, business cards, the many modes of typography carry this secondary meaning which could mean the difference between two very different walks of life. The thing is, you don’t need to be an expert to understand the inner workings of typography. Even having a basic understanding will increase the message in every text you come across. Whether it be a presentation on typography, a cover of a book at its 50th anniversary, or a band poster you come across while out on the town. We use typography every day of our lives, and it has opened my eyes to a level of communication I never knew existed. I hope the next time you look at any graphic design you look at it from a typography perspective as well.

References

Video on Typography https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sByzHoiYFX0

To Kill a Mocking Bird Visual - https://www.google.com/search?q=To+kill+a+mockingbird+book+cover&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS886US886&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=U60nABhNNzta2M%253A%252CFljJnTH9Ssal_M%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kQ2gcxduFfJw2QMvAhfmpkV-rlQLw&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwipmYil9sXoAhVUHs0KHZFtC5IQ9QEwB3oECAQQOA#imgrc=U60nABhNNzta2M:

Pink Floyd concert poster visual - https://www.google.com/search?q=band+posters&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS886US886&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwidseOt9sXoAhWYHc0KHSZpCLIQ_AUoAnoECAwQBA&biw=1364&bih=694#imgrc=2WlNxjZ04ylA8M

Typography Slide Show - https://www.google.com/search?q=4+ways+to+make+customers+fall+in+love+with+you+typography&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjZruvF9sXoAhWQNc0KHcWcBJQQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=4+ways+to+make+customers+fall+in+love+with+you+typography&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzoECAAQQzoCCAA6BggAEAgQHjoECAAQGDoGCAAQBRAeUIXYAViP-wJg6fwCaAJwAHgEgAHUAYgB0D-SAQc0Ni4zMy4xmAEAoAEBqgELZ3dzLXdpei1pbWewAQA&sclient=img&ei=O9qDXpmlMJDrtAbFuZKgCQ&bih=694&biw=1364&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS886US886#imgrc=CNTBpXlJhxU2LM

Lee, Harper (1961). To Kill a Mocking Bird. J.P. Lippincott