#(I feel like it'll be easier)

[sciderman]

I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

[hivemindscape]

saw that super wholesome video of a girl reuniting with her brothers and thought   ✨✨  Hug Refs  ✨✨  leaving the context of this up to you, i wonder what you cook up :'D

[boysbeloving]

Mile Phakphum Instagram Update

,,, After The Show I’ll Go Shoping🕊️ ,,,

Got Wool Coat of Dior size 48 color Beige color with Olive inside lining. Back to use 1 item. I like Long Coat very much. I can't resist seeing both of my favorite colors in the same piece. 🤪

How do you look wearing it :) ?

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

Truly believe the best way to build confidence is to look at everything from the perspective of what you can do for other people.

[yashley]

the way matt creates these emotionally** flat??? characters who have family attachments to the main pcs and yet there's just something.... off about the way they display intimacy that it equally angers me, makes my skin crawl, and makes me just want to write extensively on what a master storyteller matt is. the way he presents just in this campaign alone, parental figures that on paper can easily be defended and rallied behind somehow especially if their choices played out more negatively than they intended*, and yet actually experiencing people who you, individually, care so much about in your life and who, you would just naturally believe, would also care so much about you, but there's a blip on the monitor and a disconnect that at first is so infinitesimal. until it's not. until you get bruised deeper and they look at you the same. and it's like there's no true empathetic connection. from your "loved one". it's not malice, it's not heartless or calloused, it's just.... it's surface-level and it's crossed t's and dotted i's and you know that they do not mean it to hurt you. but they also don't really mean it when they tell you they love you. and it aches so incredibly well done that matt will have these figures look into the eyes of their own and say the words and have a softness in their face, and yet have no genuine fierceness to the love they claim for someone who has so much love for them. and it's not a criticism, it's just so well done because it's such a nuanced relationship in the world and it sucks but matt always delivers it so perfectly

[calicotisane]

Chapter 2 Page 12

[zellkabellk]

Nowadays trying really fucking hard to teach to my brain that it's okay and better to "just do 10 min of this task" even if it means leaving it unfinished (but further along than before!) rather than not doing it "because when I do it I should do it all" Because jfc I can't keep leaving my house in states where I need to do 30+ minutes of dishes instead of just... doing a little everyday and at least it remains a manageable amount in the sink even if it's not always emptied...

[moe-broey]

It is kinda funny I feel like I'm functionally nonbinary. In the way that people tend to perceive me/interact with me, if they don't know me on a super personal level. Despite 100% being Just Some Guy. Which can be a part of anyone's gender tbh, but for me it literally means I'm a man. Average he/him, no notes. Just like REALLY fucking bad at it I guess LMFAOO

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

[red-eft]

less than 20 days til i graduate and move back to my hometown.. i feel sick. what do you mean i'll never live here again

[fbwzoo]

I've meant to do this for AGES and I finally ordered large whiteboards last weekend & got these put up last night!!!

Jack is going to be very busy with a new work course for the next couple months, so I'll be doing more of the small animal care. Things have gotten a bit more complicated, so I figured getting properly organized would help keep me on track. And Jack likes it bc he'll be able to keep track & jump in to help when he can too.

Likely redoing Spoon's feeding section soon as he seems to have given up on kibble. So I'm just rolling with it & going to start giving him canned cat & dog food, Repashy & Pangea foods, and probably some other things in addition to his dusted bugs. We did kibble before now bc he would eat it & it was easy, but this will be way more interesting for him!

I may also put an old small whiteboard back up on the animal room closet door with bug care info - the silkworms are most intensive, but it'll be helpful to have stuff up there for the others as well. I don't know that I can keep silkworms on hand all the time, but our other staples are BSF larvae, mealworms, and dubia roaches, and often have a few other things too. I'm trying to get better at both keeping the insects in good condition overall & planning to start a better gutloading routine prior to feeding them off.

[revolutionarysuicide]

as someone whose only tech qualifications are being a bit autistic about linux and submitting small PRs to random github projects it is interesting to read about the inner workings and politics of the tech industry. idk have been considering going to school for cs mostly bc the government pays you to study if it's ur first degree and it'll be nicer than retail 😭 i do hate the tech industry though if i cant find like a nonprofit or whatever who wants me as a tech worker i'd probably just not use the degree professionally lmao

[risingsunresistance]

big fan of whatever is happening on alpha rn

[suddencolds]

i've def heard of people having to be in the right headspace to write like, v thirsty/self-indulgent snz content, but somehow i find it equally difficult to be in the right headspace to write angst

[starred-system]

So I'm almost done drawing my model, which means it's almost time to start rigging it. I am Nervous.

[sleestakkkk]

Okay okay part of me has always leaned towards Ivan dying when he has to go up against Till. Because like listennn... Ivan ALWAYS being the one who's looking at Till, while Till is never ever looking back at him just has unbearable affect on my brain. So like I've always imagined him dying with the expectation that FINALLY FINALLYYY Till will truly LOOK at Ivan and really see him for the first time like Ivan has always seen him (Does this mean in a romantic sense? Potentially. Maybe. But most of all just finally seeing how Ivan feels about him and just having THAT realization), but also with the added gut punch that it took Ivan dying for Till to truly realize Ivan's feelings and aooughh. BUT flipping it around also ties into the same ooggily booggily affect that the first option has on my brain. Because having Till die could mean that from beginning to end, after EVERYTHING that has happened, he never looks back at Ivan. The tragedy and pain of that feeling, and you KNOWW that from the very beginning of the round that Ivan would know that if Till dies he'd die never knowing about Ivan's true feelings. Now is this all incoherent rambling that will likely not happen? Yes. But they are like little worms in my brain sooo