#(I don't know how they could have kept this but the part I'm actually saddest about not being included/being changed)

[fluffypurpleglitterdemon]

Speaking of changes made by the cartoon: Apparently someone there looked at the description of the binu, which were described as "too weak to walk" and said that "they had mouths and teeth, but they couldn't bite anyone to death no matter how much they tried", and went "...Zombies? Zombies." xD

[vctrvn-ls]

Hi babes! Could you write something about Filly and Reader being together and they're filming a video and he is like clinging to her? Just like he's with Nella, he's a touch starved boy hehe

General Knowledge | Filly |

warnings: language

wordcount: 2.1k

"Yeah maaaann!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"...." Filly looked at you with crossed eyebrows.

"I'm sorry," you snorted "I'm sorry that was just really funny to me." You covered your face.

"Gyal's laughing at my intro." Filly turned to the camera "She's laughing at my intro."

"No, no, no, no," you tried to protest but the laughter just kept coming "No, no, no." You grabbed onto his shoulder, throwing your head down in efforts to hide your face.

"Oh my god who did I bring?" Filly stated glancing down at you, who was dying for literally no reason.

"Anyway!" Filly continued as you sat up and cleared your throat "Todays guest as you can see is the one and only y/n!!" He grabs both of your shoulders from behind, presenting his guest, whilst shaking you aggressively.

You hold on for dear life, trying your best not to laugh again. Filly's excitement and joy was so contagious that even the saddest mood would lighten up in seconds.

"Thank you for having me." You wave to the lens "I'm really thrilled to be here. And I can't wait to destroy him with my big brain." You point to your head with both fingers.

"Now the last bit was so unnecessary." He poked you.

"No, no I think it was. I mean I don't want to spoil the whole video, but I definitely think I'm gonna win." You nodded confidently.

"Well," Filly said in a cheeky tone "What you don't know...IS THAT YOU'RE GOING AGAINST DARKEST MAN!" His voice rung at the last part followed by cheers and claps from him.

You turned around seeing Darkest running from behind a corner with his arms up and smiling, waving from side to side like a football player who had just scored a goal. Of course you saw him earlier today, but never would you have guessed that you would be playing against him.

"Love, love everyone." He sat down next to Filly "Nice to see you again Miss y/l/n." He stuck his hand out for you to shake.

"Nice to-" your words were cut of with your mouth dropping open in utter shock as Darkest dodged your handshake, pretending to fix this beanie.

"Oh man." Filly covered his mouth "Just the beginning and he's already violating you." Filly poked your chest.

"Tsk don't touch me, Felipe." You rolled your eyes and swatted away his finger, actually feeling a tiny bit annoyed.

"Felipe!" Filly repeated for the audience "She got so mad she used my govvy against me." He screwed his eyes shut throwing himself onto you and making you retract your serious face, breaking into a series of small giggles while try hug him back.

To be fair it was hard to be mad at anyone with the presence of Filly. He really was a ray of sunshine. A very loud ray of sunshine.

After the explaining of the rules and the forfeit being The World's Hottest Chip, you and Darkest went serious and in full focus.

"Alright hit me." Darkest said sharply, hyping himself up.

"First round!" Filly announced "Flags."

"Oh shit." You cursed.

"Not a good sign," Filly chuckled at your words "Flag number one...Darkest you go first." he held up the phone to his friend.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait. Wait." You held your finger up and leaned forward.

Filly blinked at you in confusion, not knowing what you were going at.

"Filly what's with the sexism?" You state in monotone, trying your best not to crack up. Filly did though "NAAAH!" He yelped, covering his face, falling onto your shoulder while howling from laughter.

Poor darkest didn't know if he could laugh at that joke or not.

You turned to the camera, shaking your head while tutting in disappointment "The disrespect."

Filly gripped onto you trying not to pass out from how much he was already tired of laughing. But it was only the beginning of the video.

"You know what?" He managed to squeeze out a couple of strained words "You know what?" He wiped his eyes "It's funnier because of her face- Like do ya'll see how serious she is?" Filly looks at you again.

"It's funny because you think I'm joking when I'm not." You shake your head.

"Really?" He asked naively.

"No of course not." You giggle, pushing his knee "You idiot."

"A-am I interrupting something?" Darkest leaned over to the two of you, waving his hands "Should I maybe leave?"

"Nah, nah." Filly breathed out "We're done, we're done."

"No actually maybe you should." You replied, again with your serious tone.

"Great." Darkest leaned back onto the couch, crossing his arms and staring right into the camera, whilst in the background Filly's chortling chimed through the room.

After the first round you were behind by two points, which wasn't looking good for you. You really didn't want to eat that spicy chip.

"Round numero dos." Filly declared, looking at his phone "Maths."

You nodded enthusiastically "Now this is my time to shine."

"Is it though?" Darkest asked in a sassy tone.

"Hey listen yeah," you leaned over Filly glaring  at Darkest "Just because your forehead is big, doesn't mean your brain is alright?" The irony was probably funnier than the actual joke, considering the fact that you were losing.

"Oh my god." Filly dropped his phone, hiding his open mouth with the palms of his hands while staring at darkest.

"You see," Darkest shuffles in his position and moved forward, closer to the camera, as if talking to the audience "She's getting way too comfortable." He shook his head.

You bit onto your lip, trying not to laugh.

"I say one, ONE word to her and she just buries me." He sighs, dramatically dropping his head down, making you completely lose it and grab Filly's shoulder while biting onto your sleeve.

Now, words can't even describe how loud and high-pitched Filly's next howl was when he turned around and saw your hilarious face, eyes watering, eyebrows up and the fact that you were literally BITING down onto your hand so you wouldn't crack up.

The whole room instantly filled with the most outrageous forms of laughter. Darkest was swaying from side to side on the couch, holding onto his stomach, while Filly's friends behind the camera rolled around on the floor (the editor was also laughing after zooming onto your face).

Sounds dumb, but to witness your expression that you had pulled was really a sight to see.

Filly himself was back on you, vigorously clinging on and laughing right in your ear (you thought you were gonna go deaf).

"Oh my Christ!" You almost felt tears in your eyes "I-I-" you tried to speak, but another wave of Filly's hilarious laughter threw you off making you grab onto his sweater and pray to god that you weren't going to burst right there and then.

Few seconds later the atmosphere relaxed and you managed to say what you wanted to "I was gonna say, I don't know what I was laughing at more at the fact that you guys were literally on the floor," you pointed to Filly's friends "Or at your laughter that fucking almost made me lose my hearing." You looked at Filly and gave him a playful shove.

"Oh my days," he chuckled "This is on god the best video I have ever made."

"Maths." You stated.

"Yeah, yeah. Alright, so," he read from his phone "nine times n-"

"EIGHTY ONE!" You shout, jumping up.

Darkest and Filly exchanged glances.

"Thank you, thank you very much," you shook Filly's hand as you sat down "And that's," you turned to the lens "That's how it's done."

And that is pretty much how the maths round went, Filly didn't even have a chance to finish the question because you were already yelling out the answer.

Thanks to your wonderful mathematics skills, you were beating darkest by three points, leaving him in utter shock as the third round came by.

"Round number threeeee. Music."

You and Darkest both let out a groan.

"What?" Filly asked "This is probably the easiest one."

"Yeah well if it's not Drake or fucking Lady Gaga then I probably don't know." Darkest admitted, aggressively shaking his head in the funny way he always does.

"Pfffttt-AHAHAAH" You fell back, pulling Filly after you by his shoulder completely on accident, making him crash into you.

"Oh I'm sorry!" He wheezed, worried that he might've hurt you, but you didn't feel anything except him holding onto your arm.

While the two of you were busy laughing, Darkest was talking to the audience "I feel like I've been third wheeling this entire video." He blinks "I'm sad." He says dramatically knitting his eyebrows and sniffing.

"Aye Darkest, man," Filly sat up, eyes all wet "We love you, I swear."

"Well he does," you mumble "Don't make it we."

"Alright I'm do-"

"No no no I'm kidding!" You exclaim, reaching over to Darkest "I'm just playing!" You pat his shoulder before sitting back down.

"Phew, alright. Let's start."

An unfamiliar melody started playing and you looked at Darkest who was just as clueless as you were.

"Are you serious?" Filly's eyebrows jumped up as he noticed the two of you.

You shook your head.

"Not a clue."

"Honest. Baby Keem?"

"Huh?" You leaned in to look at Filly's phone.

"You know the one that sang Orange Soda."

You furrowed your eyebrows.

"Bitch sit on my face I attack that?" Filly hummed and tried to move his shoulders in a rhythm.

"Horror." Darkest said pointing at Filly's shoulders "Absolute horror."

Filly's mouth fell open in offense and he turned to you "You're not gonna back me here?"

You slowly shook your head "No he's right."

Filly theatrically threw his arms up and turned to the camera "Comment down below-"

"No honey don't embarrass yourself," you said in a California-girl accent while disappointingly shaking your head and putting one hand on Filly's shoulder in a sassy motion.

"What the-" Filly wheezed not even able to finish his sentence as his eyes screwed shut.

After a few minutes of calming down, you continued. Again.

"Next one. Now this is a friend test," he played the track.

A millie-second had passed, no not even a millie second, a quarter of a second. You had only managed to hear like three notes when you jumped up in your seat and roared out "100 BAGS!" You looked at Filly.

"Freestyle." You added, just in case.

"Ladies and gentlemen we have a winner..." Filly announced looking down "Y/N!!!!" He cheered, grabbing your hand and putting it up just like in boxing matches, while Darkest face planted the couch.

"She needs to understand that P's last quarter a hundred grand-" you had an imaginary microphone in your hand, handing it over to Filly who instantly caught on "Call me the runnin' man, chasing the next hundred grand...” “Rah, rah-”

To make a long story (or more like song) short, you both finished the entire track whilst doing questionable dance moves and Filly ended it with a tight and affectionate hug stating "This is what true friends look like."

But that wasn't the end. Definitely not. Darkest had a whole chip to eat.

The three of you stared at the red triangle that was in Darkest's hand.

You leaned over him while Filly peeped from behind you, hands on your shoulders as if "hiding" from the ghost chip.

"Can I- uh-"

"Say some last words?" You tried to guess Darkest's sentence.

"No."

Filly chuckled in your ear.

"I was gonna say can I have some milk?"

"He needs some milk." You called out, turning around to Filly, repeating the meme, feeling embarrassed straight away.

After another 15 minutes of fussing around over Darkest, he finally took a bite.

"How is it?" You ask almost instantly after he put it in his mouth (the chip, don’t be so dirty minded).

"Is it spicy?" Filly quizzed, still hiding behind you.

"How hot is it?"

"Does it hu-"

"Oh my god can you people wait!" He exclaimed, focusing on his chewing.

"Ah, oh my gohd-" He stuck his tongue out, now struggling to chew.

"You have to chew ten times blud. Otherwise it don't count!" Filly called him out.

"Nah, nah I can't," Darkest let out a shaky breathe before covering his mouth, getting up and aggressively pushing past the two of you, running for the sink.

"Oh my god-" You and Filly laughed at the series of spitting, finding it hilarious.

"Milk! MILK!" Darkest yelled. You grabbed the milk and shoved it into his hands, watching with both curiosity and horror as a sweaty Darkest finished half the bottle in seconds.

"I'm gonna be sick," he panted, wiping his mouth.

"Nasty." Filly commented from beside you.

"You didn't even like have any." You said in disappointment.

"Didn't have any!?" Darkest's voice went high pitched as he stared at you and Filly in disbelief "My mouth started melting just from smelling it!"

Filly hid his face in your arm as he tried to suppress his laughter from how funny this whole situation was: Darkest looking half-alive, while you and Filly witnessed his struggle and also mercilessly judging him.

20 minutes later you filmed the outtro, singed out and finished filming, Darkest's tongue still swollen and barely moving. (legend says it's swollen till this day)

[paperstorm]

What makes it so complicated is that Carlos isn't doing it with the intention of hurting himself. He's doing it as a reminder of what happened to his father and why he needs to get justice. It's just that staring at the picture isn't going to get that justice faster nor is it going to bring his father back. Much like the rock that Owen kept on his desk, that picture is just a tangible reminder of tragedy. And what makes it really interesting to me on a psychological level (I'm a psychologist so this stuff is fascinating to me lol) is that Carlos isn't the sort of person that is prone to self harm the way TK is or even Owen. Prone to obsession yes but even then it's never to a truly dangerous degree. But this is obviously completely different and unlike anything he has ever experienced. And because he is the type of person to keep his emotions inside, it only makes it worse. The saddest thing is that his biggest struggle now is more the obsession than anything else but it is also that obsession that is so hard to break when his father's killer is out there. I can see why Carlos would feel like he could have peace once the killer is caught because his grief is narrowing his view but even catching the killer won't bring his dad back and he will still have his grief to deal with. It actually ties back into his avoidance tendencies because as long as he can distract himself with finding the killer, he won't have to focus on the grief itself and the fact that he never got to have the relationship with his father that he always wanted

All of this but especially that last part!!! I don't know how it's all going to go but I can totally see Carlos getting obsessed with the idea of solving his father's murder because he's clinging to the thought that if he does, that will magically get rid of all the grief and guilt and the horrible lingering what-ifs from the fact that they were just starting to repair their relationship when Gabriel was taken from him. I can see him diving head first into all of this because in the back of his mind he's thinking "okay you just have to finish this, you just have to solve this, you'll feel better once you do", but then he does solve it, and it doesn't actually make anything better. And coming to that realization could be so shattering for him.

[getvalentined]

Angeal for the ask game :D

ANGEAL HEWLEY

🎟️ SEXUALITY HEADCANON: Heteroflexible and biromantic. He prefers women, physically speaking, but could have an intimate relationship with a man. One man in particular.

⚧️ GENDER HEADCANON: Angeal is hard to get a read on, for me, since he's another of those characters who exists in a position that he seems to believe requires a hypermasculine presentation. I read him as cis, but I can see just about anything for him.

💕 A SHIP: Unrequited Angeal/Sephiroth is really the only ship I have for Angeal—I genuinely believe he's utterly in love with Sephiroth, and he never ever said a word about it to anyone.

🖇️ A BROTP: Angeal+Lazard is probably my biggest one, only because the mental image of both of them trying desperately to keep Genesis and Seph in line is so clear in my head it might as well be made of crystal.

🚫 A NOTP: Don't garotte me for this, but honestly Gengeal? I don't like the way he talks to or about Genesis; I've heard people say that they're like a divorced couple, but if anything they read to me as siblings desperate to get out of each other's orbit and utterly unable to escape their shared history no matter how they try. (Given that they seem to both have Gillian's mtDNA based on explanations in-canon, and we know that they can be considered siblings based on Weiss using his connection to Genesis as proof that he's also Angeal's brother in DFFOO, I feel like that's a fairly accurate read.)

💭 A RANDOM HEADCANON: Angeal didn't actually join SOLDIER at the same time as Genesis, and not only because he didn't particularly want to—Angeal is over a year younger than Genesis, and was just too young to enlist when Genny left Banora. It was almost a year before Angeal was able to follow him to Midgar, by which point Genesis had already formed a fairly solid relationship with Sephiroth, and Angeal was more than a little put-out by the idea that his position as Genesis' only friend had been taken by this weird kid with weird hair and weird eyes that Genesis kept clipping photos of from the newspaper. When he got to know Seph, though, he changed his tune pretty dramatically—and fell for him almost as hard as Genesis. This is one of the reasons that he inserts himself between them at every opportunity, not only because he doesn't think they're good for each other, but because he doesn't think that anyone is good enough for Sephiroth, not even himself. And if he isn't good enough to be Sephiroth's one and only, then Genesis (impulsive, arrogant, troublemaker Genesis, who spent days exploring a monster-infested cave system as a boy without a thought of the danger he courted in doing so, who already had everything he ever needed or wanted and still leveraged his obsession over a hero he hadn't met into an invention that garnered recognition in a way that Angeal never could) definitely wasn't. This is how the whole relationship fell apart.

🗣️GENERAL OPINION: I've said it before, and I'll say it again: the saddest thing about Angeal is that he's the only one who couldn't bear to live with himself. I'm not a huge fan of the character as a person, but he's fantastically executed as a character. His story is legitimately one of the most heartbreaking in the series—He had a whole host of people who loved him so deeply as to be fathomless, and it didn't matter. His story is a tragedy not because of how he was made or how he died, but because of why things turned out the way they did. So much of the suffering he went through was self-imposed, and that's the saddest part of all.

(For the character ask game.)

[wutheringmights]

Bro Mask really woke up and suddenly his brothers were fighting

Anyway I am once again asking for the commentary on this update because you got me in SHAMBLES Frankie. SHAMBLES. HOW CAN I reCOVER-?!

I love this story to bits <33

You guys were very prompt with the commentary requests, which just amazes me. Like, you all actually like to hear what I have to say?? Wild.

Like always, this contains spoilers so proceed at your own risk.

This is probably one of my favorite past sections I have written in a while, mostly due to how it has that duel scene that I have been wanting to write since the start of this story

However, if this section had one major flaw, it's the pacing; there's three major arguments between the engineer and Link that could have been condensed down to two.

Low key, one of the saddest moments this chapter is when the child asks Link to promise to make sure he comes back, and Link does not. If there was ever any evidence needed to show that he's an asshole, it's that

The Fierce Deity mask attaching itself to the child's hands was not in my original plan, but I realized that there was no one the engineer wouldn't attempt to destroy the mask once he took it off of the child

Here's what happened off screen: the engineer pulled the mask off while thinking about tossing it away, which made the Fierce Deity say "fuck you I'm gonna body horror this child now"

The engineer asking what finger Link would want him to cut off is a reference to chapter 14 where Link tell the engineer that he would have to cut off his own finger if Link ordered him to-- Link forgot he said that because he didn't mean it exactly, but unfortunately, the engineer took him to his word

Originally, the engineer was going to have a monologue in the medical tent where he talks about how he's feeling and how little he trusts Link; I cut this since the engineer is more enthralling when the reader doesn't know exactly what he's thinking

There are some parts of that monologue I really like that I wish I could have kept; hopefully, what he has to say will appear elsewhere in the story

So that duel... that was so satisfying to write, and it's a bit of a relief to have it out of my system and into the world

Chapters 4 and 5 established the fact that Link and the engineer were technically Knights of Hyrule, which I don't think I reiterated elsewhere; so hopefully you guys remember plot details from over a year ago

Also, remember when Meemaw said that Link and the engineer had a very public argument in chapter 5? This is that argument.

If there is one thing I don't like about the duel, it's the implications that the civilians of Hyrule have a homogeneous opinion about the use of child heroes; I've been avoiding making groups have unanimous perspectives like that, but it felt a little unavoidable here. I still tried to say that not everyone agreed, but I don't know if I was successful or not

There is no more perfect demonstration of the engineer and Link's characters than how that duel ended: the engineer happy to stop when he did the minimum amount of damage needed to win, and Link responding with overblown violence

As far as I am aware, how Link and the engineer got their scars was the plot point that readers speculated on the most; I think a lot of people connected the two together, which I am very happy about

Okay, onto the present

Some of you may have guessed it, but the hand funeral was not in the original plan, but there were so many jokes about What Hyrule Did To Warriors's Arm that I ended up thinking about it too hard and fell in love with the idea of the boys having a small funeral for it

That being said, because it was not part of the original plan, I really screwed myself over and ended up having to restructure a lot of the scenes to make it work; I don't know yet if it was worth it, but I do like how the funeral signals an end to the Warriors's torture misery plotline

This part also suffered under my space restraints as I did not expect the duel to be as long as it was, so a lot of things got trimmed or cut

Here is a short list of things that were removed or changed: more importance on Lincoln and Four leaving for a few days, Lincoln gifting Warriors soap (and Warriors being mad that it was actually a good gift), Linkle arriving separate from Sky and Lana, Cia talking about Age of Calamity as one of the many paths Wild's life could have taken, the boys meeting some Skullkids in the Lost Woods, Hyrule joking about finding Lincoln hot, Four talking about the Four Sword with Warriors, Sky talking to Warriors about their shared trauma, Lincoln saying his goodbyes and leaving, more Lana and Link content, Linkle solving an important plotline, and more!

Writing Proxi this chapter has been interesting as I felt like I was speed-running trying to convey what her relationship with Warriors is like as it had never occurred to me that the reader wouldn't see how their relationship started in the past before we met up with her in the present

There was a point of time I considered having Proxi be a mirror to Warriors's emotions instead of an interpreter to them; so Warriors would be shouting in what appeared to be anger while Proxi would be sobbing in fright

I scraped this as it only worked if Proxi didn't have her own emotions, which while a fun idea, meant she had less agency

The way the fandom treats Cia is very interesting to me, as she is one of the only villains who is redeemed at the end of the story. Yet, because of her attraction to Warriors, she's often still treated as a villain. In fact, her villainy is always reduced down to her sexually assaulting Warriors. The fact that she is un-corrupted at the end of story is more fascinating to me, which meant that I had to decide what a not-evil version of Cia would be like

The answer I landed on was "Weird New York Art Girl"

Cia's main hobby is refurbishing the temple and abbey; there was originally going to be more gags of her doing a variety of projects to fix it up, including gardening, woodworking, and masonry

Hyrule's disdain for Cia is actually one of my favorite parts of the chapter; having arrived at the temple first, he had a lot of alone time with her where he got increasingly upset that she wouldn't give him a straight answer about who was okay or not

Cia's prophecy/warning to Time might seem on the nose, but this is actually vague version; my original idea gave away way too much of where the story is going

Wild's speech about remembering/knowing could have been cut for space, but I kept it exclusively so that I can finally give Wild a moment; I just do... so little with him....

So... let's talk Sky

In chapter 4, there is a moment when Warriors is giving everyone the contingency plan where Warriors asks Sky if he ever killed someone, to which made Sky uncomfortable; I wouldn't call that foreshadowing, but that moment happened exclusively because I knew he was going to kill one of the knights

Originally, I was going to have Sky kill Faiza; I changed that last minute because I was uncomfortable killing off the one not-white human in the Knights of Hyrule off screen and it seemed too cruel to kill off someone who is pregnant

So, yeah. Killing off Faiza was not a good idea

I killed off Clementine instead as I felt like I could make her death impactful while keeping it off screen

So, Sky lost his finger; any information about what exactly happened to him is going to stay vague and unmentioned on purpose

Why? Sky's pain is competing with Warriors's, who we spent many chapters deep in the thick of. Nothing I could say can compete. But whatever you guys come up with in your head is going to be whatever is necessary to feel like their pain is equal; it's like when horror directors don't show the monster since the viewer's imagination will always be scarier

I feel like I should have more to say about Time and Warriors's conversation, but it really speaks for itself

I will reassure you all that the reveal is near and I won't taunt you all with it for much longer

The chapter was originally going to end with Legend explaining his story and what is going on with Midna, Twilight, and Wind, but we ran out of space

So you will have to wait until next chapter to learn what happens next

[blackbird-brewster]

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE - NOW POSTED

A/N: Hello my darling, incredible readers. I've been struggling to write lately and while I still have quite a few new chapters already done, I just wanted to note there may come a time where weekly updates catch up with what I've pre-written. Meaning, my update schedule might shift in coming months. I didn't go into this fic expecting it to be this long, but I also refuse to rush it. So please bear with me if I have to adjust things in the near future.

As always, thank you, thank you, thank you! I appreciate all of you so very much! Your comments are what have kept me going on such a long-term project. You can't possibly understand how important all of you are. Thank you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Emily, I love you, but I'm not doing that!" Spencer argued.

From the other side of the couch, Emily gave him the biggest, saddest eyes she could muster. "Pllleeeassseee! I need help from someone who knows what they're doing!"

"You can just watch it and take notes!"

"But we both know this stuff isn't realistic, that's why I need you to tell me what it's actually like," Emily replied. "I don't know the difference."

Spencer groaned, throwing his head over the side of the couch to avoid her eyes, because he knew his face was already bright red just from the topic of conversation. "If I do this, and that's still an IF -- you will owe me, big time."

"Of course," Emily replied eagerly. "I'll absolutely grant you the biggest favour you can think of. No strings attached, no expiry date."

"I cannot believe I'm actually considering this," Spencer droned. "Even by your standards, this is so freaking weird."

"No it's not," Emily said with an indifferent shrug. "It's just for research. Besides, it has to be you, because it's not like I can ask anyone else to help."

There was a long pause of silence before Spencer groaned again. He sat back up with nothing but exasperation in his expression.

"Fine, whatever, let's do it," he replied. He pulled his hood up around his head and shoved his hands in the hoodie's pouch, in an attempt to protect himself from his own embarrassment at what he was agreeing to do.

Emily crawled across the couch to throw her arms around him appreciatively. "You're the best, Spence."

He made no move to reciprocate the hug. "Just -- ugh, just don't go telling people about this."

"Well, hoping this truly helps me, my actions will speak louder than words anyway."

"Gross."

"Oh, come on. We always talk about sex together, why is this gross?" Emily asked as she pulled up a website on her laptop.

"Because I'm not usually directly involved in your sex life."

[Read the Full Chapter on AO3]

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Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) is a queer rom-com AU that celebrates coming out at any age or stage, polyamory, found family, and above all else, the love shared between JJ/Emily/Tara.

Read the whole series: [PART 1] || [PART 2] || [PART 3]

Listen to the series soundtrack on Spotify: Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) OST

[meanqueens]

Saw that ask about Targ stans being gleeful over the fact that Alicent's "line" died out and Rhaenyra's got the throne - and I really find that odd. I mean, there seems to be this perception among them that Alicent's kids are not "Targaryens" but Hightowers. For me, aside from the obvious suffering of the realm and small-folk, the actual tragedy of the dance is that it tore a family apart. Everyone knows the, "A Targaryen alone in the world" line, implying the importance of family. In the very first episode of hotd Daemon talks about how their blood is thick, and Viserys himself talks about the importance of sticking together as a unit. The opening lines of the show were literally that the only thing capable of destroying the Targaryens were they themselves. We see it throughout their history: if they had kept tight as a family, they wouldn't have fallen apart the way they did (Aenys and Maegor, the Blackfyres&Bittersteel, Aerys not being etc...).

Besides, I honestly don't get feeling gleeful over a mother's grief, no matter what. I felt awful for Rhaenyra when her sons died (honestly, I don't know how much she would've enjoyed Aegon and Viserys ruling when she lost Jacaerys, Lucerys and Joffrey). I felt awful for Alicent when she outlived her children and grandchildren (that line about how she wanted to see her sons and Helaena was one of the saddest in the book). And I felt awful for the kids themselves (at least, those who were pulled into the conflict not out of their own volition but because of responsibility toward/association with their family; most of them were so young).

thank you for your ask!!

anon, i think that's an excellent insight on stans implying that alicent and her children are not truly "part of the family", and thusly perceived as outsiders and enemies coming to tear the targs down.

and, frankly, that's objectionably simplifying the situation. that's part of the point, that all of these people were supposed to have some sense of loyalty to each other due to the notion of "family", and yet the chaos of choices drove them apart. this is not to say that just because one is "family" one must unconditionally support them, no no. but there were decisions made by people in power that weren't thought through well enough to consider how it would affect descendants down the line (looking at you, jae/haerys and vi/serys). these decisions laid the pieces in place for everything to go wrong, for people to turn on each other and feel like they had to choose a side (or were too young to fully understand what that meant).

i'm just gonna say it: to boil it down to "alicent started the war/dance" is clearing every other player of responsibility, because no, no it wasn't only her (debatably it wasn't her at all). aegon ii would not have gotten as far as he did if his claim was not arguably legitimate, which it was because he was, undeniably, the son of the former king. he was targ/aryen, as were his siblings, as was his mother a targ/aryen queen. they were valid members of the dynasty, whether they wanted to be or not. "othering" them does such a disservice to the story and removes so many layers.

and even if one doesn't like certain characters over others, it still gives off a sour energy to celebrate the suffering of mothers who were neither good nor bad, just people, and mourn children that didn't deserve what happened to them. it's just horrible and sad, and i can't help but contemplate how different things could have been if it weren't for, bluntly, the patriarchy and the men it empowered.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

I thought of you when the Qilin bowed to Dumbledore. I went "Ha, Blair's going to hate this."

Oh my goodness anon. You do me great honor. And yes, yes, I hate it. The saddest part is that I thought this movie was actually pretty good. Better than the second film, not quite as good as the first. It had some genuinely beautiful moments, some others not so great. (Lally needs to be mainstay. She's such a delight, they better not bench her like they did to Tina, or kill her off like they did Leta.)

Truly, it was shaping up to be a great movie. But then they did that. And completely fumbled the climax.

I kid you not, when the Qilin bowed to Dumbledore I started laughing so hard that I accidentally woke up my kitty. I had to pause the movie, as I laughed for a full minute, give or take. Something tells me that I'm not supposed to laugh at that moment. That it's supposed to be poignant and powerful. But seriously, seriously. Seriously. This movie expects me to buy that Albus War Crimes Abuse Apologist Child Groomer Dumbledore (Those are his middle names, right?) is pure of heart...? Give me a break, Rowling.

First of all, nobody is. Everyone has flaws, everyone's got demons. Not being pure doesn't mean you aren't a good person. This is just like the idea that only the pure of heart can cast a Patronus. Even if I accept the existence of "pure hearts," that is still balderdash of the highest caliber - fucking Umbridge could cast a Patronus. Even children aren't pure of heart, though I could be a bit more understanding if that was the take the series went with. You can call this a personal belief on my part, and fine, it is...but the movie says so too. Literally in the very scene when they establish the Qilin's powers, Lally clarifies that obviously, no one is actually pure-hearted. This is contradictory to what they go with later. Fine, for the sake of argument, let's say I accept that in this world, some people just have totally pure hearts. 

But do not try to tell me that Albus Dumbledore is one of them. Albus Dumbledore, who plotted a fascist takeover with Grindelwald, who was complicit in the imprisonment of his sister and is at least indirectly responsible for her death (all of which the movie itself discusses) who refused to face Grindelwald out of shame, who never warned anyone about young Tom Riddle's behavior, who kidnapped infant Harry and then imprisoned him with abusive relatives, who left Sirius to rot in prison, who lied to Harry for years and groomed him into becoming a martyr at seventeen, who employed and constantly defended an unrepentant child abuser, and guilted Harry when he complained, who showed blatant favoritism for Order families, who hired a fraud to teach at Hogwarts for no other reason than to expose him, who kept the truth about the prophecy from Harry for years, who forced Sirius to live in the house he was abused in...

...Need I go on?

This man is not pure of heart. I recognize that I am pretty biased as a Dumbledore-Anti and one could make a case for him being more of a mixed bag. Fine, I acknowledge that one could make that case, that Dumbledore is a character who is more in the gray. I don't agree, but I get why people might see him as such. But someone who falls into shades of gray is not "pure of heart." That's the entire point. Not that it even matters because, as we seen, the Qilin itself is not infallible, nor do I understand why anyone thinks it would be? It's still a living creature. (Or a dead one, in Grindelwald's case.) It can be influenced just like anyone else. It's a baby for goodness' sake. Animals can be trained. Animals can be replaced with duplicates - would anyone apart from Newt be able to spot a dressed up fawn from a real Qilin? How many wizards on average even known what a Qilin is? Animals can also make mistakes just like humans - and Newt's Qilin clearly did.

But you know what's even worse than that? There's someone else at that ceremony who the Qilin should have bowed to. Someone better. In hindsight, it feels very obvious. The Qilin should have bowed to Jacob. No, but seriously, think about it. How many times did this movie make a point to mention how big Jacob's heart is, what a good person he is? I could have accepted this. Even moments before the Qilin takes her bow, Dumbledore himself is complimenting Jacob. Why doesn't the Qilin sense the purity in Jacob's heart? If she had bowed to him...can you imagine it? A Qilin bowing to a muggle, in front of all those people? Would leave all of Grindelwald's rhetoric totally discredited. Especially since he had just tortured said muggle with an illegal curse no less, but I guess everyone just ignored that?  It would do far more damage to his cause.

I feel very strongly about this.

[sagemusesoutloud]

Anti-Romantic, Part 1

(credit to the original owner of the image)

Character | Jaehyun x reader Genre | nonidol!au, Mutual Pining, Slowburn, Fluff WordCount | 3.6 K Author'sNote | lmaoooo the fact that I intended this to be a oneshot type of thing oops. Wellllll, I tried. Most likely to be a two part series, but we'll see.

This is part of a series I intend to call "If Songs were Fics" and this particular one was loosely inspired by TXT's Anti-Romantic bc I'm obsessed. I hope you enjoy reading as much I enjoyed writing it!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

I don't know who loves me

And I don't care, It's a waste anyways

A romantic feeling, Kinda scares me

“Any plans for you birthday next week?”

Jaehyun shakes his head at you, “no, not yet, don’t you have that date with that barista?”

“I’m not sure, he’s been acting weird over text lately. Might not be worth it,” you shrug your shoulders. “Besides, it’s your birthday! You only get one of those a year, we should plan something.”

You were on your way to the gym, a ritual you and Jaehyun had ever since you both found out you worked for the same company. You had been childhood friends, but ended up losing touch since you went to separate universities.

It was a nice surprise to see a friendly face on the first day of orientation and throughout the duration of your training for the next six weeks. Although you were both from different departments, you enjoyed taking your lunch breaks together and sharing small gossip about your old class-mates.

“ugh, don’t remind me,” he let’s out a long sigh, “every year, it seems like my family won’t stop pestering me about starting a family.”

“What’s so wrong about that?”

“Nothing, just not for me. Or at least not yet. I don’t think I’m the type to settle down,” he shrugs again as if it were no big deal.

You gasp, “how could you say that? I’ve seen your insta account. It’s got your cousin’s kids all over it!” You stop to take a good look at him as he holds the door of the gym open for you. “Back in school too, you used to tutor those elementary kids for volunteering hours. Even when you didn’t need them. You’ve always liked kids.”

“That’s different…”

“Right. Totally different things. Got it,” you roll your eyes. This wasn’t the first time he mentioned not wanting to settle down. At first, you had thought it was because he liked ‘keeping his options open’ like back in high-school. Or, not that you knew for sure, but if the rumors were true then it meant he slept his way around. Apparently, he never slept with someone twice and despite the cold shoulder the other party would get, all you had ever heard were praises. Not that you paid that much attention or anything.

You and Jaehyun had the same circle of friends, but despite that, he had never made any advances towards you. You’d be lying if that didn’t bother you at least once or twice. You just assumed that he didn’t want to make the friendship awkward or mess with the friend dynamics of your group. Which was why your crush on him in junior high ended as soon as you got to high-school.

You ended up going on dates with other people, but nothing that kept your interest. Nothing that compared to how you felt around him. Not that he seemed to think the same, so you tried your best to stay the good friend you always have been. You didn’t want to push something he clearly didn’t want; not that it didn’t hurt any less. Throughout the years it’s become bearable, at least. Almost like a painful habit.

You check in and head to the locker rooms to change. His nonchalance about the subject had always puzzled you. You’d seen first hand how all the female coworkers seemed to sway their hips as they walked by him, how some would pop a blouse button more than usual when around him, and you swore no one else was getting that much help throughout training more than him. He was handsome and a gentleman, that much was painfully obvious.

You meet him outside by the water fountain, “ready for warm-up?” he guides your way to the treadmills.

“When’s the last time you dated?”

You would have laughed if you weren’t so shocked to see him trip from the corner of your eye. “why the sudden curiosity?” He finally responds.

“Not sudden, I’d always wondered.” You defended. “You’re good looking and you’re very…I mean, you live on your own and have your own car. You have good relations with your family AND you’re good with kids. So, what is it?” You hadn’t realized how troubling you thought it all was. But now that you started digging you couldn’t stop.

“I just—” you pause, “it doesn’t make sense.”

You hear him chuckle, “you might wanna slow down before you pull something.” You look down and realize that your pace had gone from a relaxed jog to a borderline run during your rant. Maybe this wasn’t the best time to psychoanalyze your only friend in the city.

“Well, I just don’t know how to let people in. It’s just that.” He finally responds. “I love kids, but I don’t know or think I’d be a good partner.” He slows down before stopping, ending the conversation. He waves you off with an easy smile as you stay running.

Huh, maybe you pushed him too far. Your eyes can’t help but follow him around the gym.

Sweet and bitter chocolate, The taste at the end is always the same

Like the saddest movies, Only tears in my eyes

Your hands were sweaty the entire morning, anticipating your lunch time. It was his birthday today, and while you hadn’t made any concrete plans you ended up agreeing to go over to his place after work. Your gym bag was ready with snacks and comfy clothes to stay over. You remembered him saying he was excited to watch that new Marvel movie that had recently come out so you had bought it online to stream it at his place as a surprise. But what had you nervous was the small heart shaped box sitting in your purse. You didn’t know what possessed you to buy it but you had immediately thought of Jae when you passed by it at the mall. You remember vaguely mentioning that it was a special occasion to the sales lady (as in, his birthday), but she must have thought it was your significant other rather than friend because she changed the box to the red velvet shaped one while giving you a wink. In her defense, you could have protested but…why didn’t you?

You hear a knock on your door, “hey little miss sunshine.” Ah, Nakamoto, this couldn’t be good news. He was only sickly sweet to you when he needed a favor.

“What do you want?” you deadpan. He only laughs as he makes himself comfortable in your office. “Well, nothing in particular. Can’t stop by and see how you’re doing?” he feigns hurt.

“Right—the last time you ‘came by’ you left me working over-time through the weekend,” You sigh, “so what is it this time? Missed meeting? Late proposal?” To be fair, your supervisor WAS overworked sometimes. And since you were the only worker under him, it was normal for him to sometimes share some of the load with you.

He smiles at you, “nope. Just have a proposal for you. I know you’ve been working hard these past few months and I’ve been really impressed by your work ethic.” He stands and moves closer to your desk, “And I thought some sort of reward was in order, as well as celebration.” Ok, now you’re confused. You were ok with the reward part, it usually came in the form of a gift card to your favorite coffee shop, but celebration?

“Why would we celebrate? Did I miss something?”

“Not yet, but I did recommend you to the partner position with me. And I wanted to be the first to tell you that the boss approved it earlier today. So, what do ya say? Dinner on me?” he extends his hand out to you and wiggles his eyebrows playfully.

Oh.

Shit! You were hoping this would happen eventually, moving up from the entry-level position you had. But you had never thought it would be this fast. “Oh my gosh, are you serious?” You give him your hand and he shakes it in mock salute.

“Of course, some people will come by to move your computer to the office next to mine. You start Monday!” he winks, “So, wanna go to that new rooftop restaurant? This is a once in a life-time ticket, so you best say yes.”

But your dinner with Jae…He’ll understand, right? He has to. It’s not like he seemed that excited about it anyway. And you could always spend the day together tomorrow, too. It would be pretty rude to turn down Yuta after he pulled some strings for you…

You smile at him, “Thank you Mr. Nakamoto, I won’t let you down as a partner. Yeah, dinner sounds great. Wanna meet there?”

You sit down on the small table, now nervous for other reasons.

Jae sits opposite of you, a small smile on his face. “Hey you,” he greets.

“hey…” you start, “I hate to change plans so suddenly, but…” crap, you feel really shitty. But you really were between a rock and a hard place.

“everything ok?”

“yeah, no. I actually just got promoted,” you start.

“You did? That’s awesome! So fast, too. Wow—but shouldn’t you be more enthusiastic about it?” he chuckles.

“I am, just—my old supervisor wanted to go to dinner to celebrate. And I don’t think I could say no after helping me out like that.”

“I mean, did you want to skip it or?” Now he’s confused.

“Well, he wanted to go out tonight since I start Monday and today’s Friday…I don’t think I can come over tonight,” you explain.

Realization crosses his features before he gives a small smile. “Don’t worry about it, you’re fine. And he’s treating you! You don’t know when the next time he offers might be,” he continues, “we can celebrate another day anyway.”

“Are you sure?” now you feel like shit.

“Of course I’m sure.”

For the rest of the lunch, a thick silence settles before he excuses himself back to work.

Jaehyun knew this was coming. Nothing ever went his way; it’s why he kept everyone at a distance from his heart. But he was weak when it came to you. This game of push and pull was bound to keep happening, and it only brought him that all familiar foul taste in his mouth.

I know, that sweet love song, Those words of promise

When you turn around, It's just an unfamiliar someone

It was why he decided to go else-where for university, instead of joining you and some of your friends to the one closest to home. He chose to go across the globe—far, far away from the curse of you.

It had started on a windy day, back when you were 4 and new to the town he grew up in. Jaehyun didn’t want to leave his mother’s arms, he didn’t like the thought of being with strangers until later in the day even if his mom promised that she would be back. A little girl with jean overalls like his came up to him and his mom, “why are you crying?”

“I am not!” he sniffed. He didn’t need to make new friends like his mom was trying to tell him. All he needed was to go back home. You took out something from your pocket and showed it to him, “look, my mom said I could give one to my first friend. She said it was sharing. Want one?”

In her little palm, were two kiss chocolates. “You’re not my friend,” he grumbled, “I don’t know your name.” At that, you giggled, “I’m Y/N!” you took his hand and placed a chocolate there, “there, now we’re officially friends.”

“See, Jae? You can spend some time with Y/N and have fun. Before you know it, I’ll be back,” she promised.

“Yeah, Jae! Come play blocks with me, and then we can try the coloring.” You held his hand as you led him deeper into the classroom. Just like that, Jae began to feel a little warmth in his chest. He didn’t mind that his favorite thing to do was play tag outside or that he wasn’t really good at coloring inside lines yet. But that didn’t matter to him. As long as he had this one friend around, he was content.

Sorry I'm an anti-romantic, I want to run far away

My heart that already chases after you, Blazes up as a small flame

Looking back at it now, it was a little funny. All it took to let you in back then was a simple chocolate kiss and your little sticky hand in his leading the way. You were always larger than life to him, sometimes he forgot that you were just as human as him.

As you two continued to grow, nothing seemed to change your friendship. But he knew that the depth of his feelings wasn’t mutual. It was in the way that you brought a lot different people together and decided to call it your family. Another of your friends, Jungwoo, liked to joke that you collected introverts for fun. To Jaehyun, it was more likely that you just didn’t see the fun in leaving people out. You were charming and passionate. Traits he wished he had. Your empathetic nature and gentle disposition were all that Jaehyun needed, even if he wasn’t the only recipient.

Once you guys started to hit puberty, things started to feel rocky. Jaehyun couldn’t help but physically distance himself from you, his ears were always red-hot. You had always been pretty to Jaehyun, but you were starting to become really beautiful. And if the boy’s locker rooms’ talk were anything to go by, then other people were definitely starting to realize “what a great catch” you were.

It really pissed him off. Who were they to say things as if all you were was a piece of meat? It disgusted him. But what disgusted him more was the fact that sometimes, he couldn’t help but also feel the way your body felt in his when you hugged in greeting. He hated the way his body reacted to everything you did.

He first messed around with a senior girl back when he was a sophomore, Sooyoung. She was leaving and he couldn’t take it anymore. Your boyfriend was a piece of trash and he was tired of hearing the way he would share what Jae considered to be intimate moments that had no business being public. But you seemed so happy… that next game, Jae stole the ball from him and scored on his own. Even if it cost him a three hour lecture from the coach, he would do it again. Fuck being a team, that guy was an asshole.

What he hadn’t planned on was liking messing around. He would never admit it, but the reason he couldn’t commit was because he couldn’t get rid of that small grain of hope that glowed in his chest every time you stared at him longer than would be deemed normal. It wasn’t often, but he knew he wasn’t seeing things. So, he succumbed to the cycle of push-and-pull that you guys had going on.

Jaehyun wasn’t blind, he knew that your work definitely spoke of your professionalism, but he’s also seen the way Nakamoto stared after you. Of the way his hand would often touch your waist when walking together. Even now, as he hears you apologize through the phone again as you get ready for your “date” with him he can’t help this heart feel heavy with anger. Anger at himself, for letting you slip away once more. He usually hopes for nothing but the best for you, but this time, he wishes you had an awful dinner.

Sorry I'm an anti-romantic, I don't believe in romance

I'm afraid that after burning my whole heart, It will only leave behind ashes

Throughout the entire dinner, you can’t seem to get Jae out of your mind. It keeps you from enjoying the delicious food, keeps you from keeping your usual banter with Nakamoto.

You’re about to call it a night and thank Nakamoto for inviting you out when he beats you to it, “damn, I was hoping this might be a good break from the usual overtime we do, but something tells me your mind has been elsewhere,” he offers good naturedly, “I know it’s valentine’s, so maybe this is why we feel so awkward, right?”.

You grimace a bit at that, “ah—I’m sorry. I really am grateful for the way you look after me in the company and I’m also thankful for this lovely dinner,” you stop a bit, afraid you might offend him, “I agreed to come out tonight, so no need to feel awkward.” You offer a smile.

“Alright then. I guess you already have your sights on someone?” he prods. Should you be honest? There was no rule against dating outside your department, and you were pretty sure your new boss’s wife also worked within the company. “…I do. But I’m pretty sure they don’t feel the same way. It’s been so long since we’ve known each other. Surely if something were to have happened, it would have by now.” You were loosening up, definitely the wine’s fault.

Nakamoto sighs at that, “damn, and here I thought I could woo you after this,” he winks jokingly but you laugh him off. You knew he didn’t care for you that way. “I really hope you’re talking about the guy you always eat lunch with. I swear everyone thought you guys were married when you were released from training.”

“What?! No, I—we’ve been friends since we were children—”

“Aha! So it was him then,” he smirks. “Good.”

You groan, “Please, no.”

“What, it’s not him? You sure about that?”

“I will neither confirm nor deny that statement,” you groan. Why were you discussing your love life? You push the wine away and take a sip of your water.

“Hmm. That’s too bad. Could have sworn that guy was after you.” He stands up. “But fine, I’ll stop prodding.”

You sigh in relief—“for now.” You groan. “What do you even mean by that? You don’t even know him. Or me, or at least personally at least.”

“Mmm, I don’t have to. Some things you just know. Like how he wishes I was six feet under every time we run across him at work,” he sobers up at that. “He seemed like a cool dude, but his glare isn’t too friendly. I don’t know how you fell for that.”

You scoff, “just because someone has a resting bitch face doesn’t mean they’re a bad person.”

You both make your way to the underground parking. “You’re right, it just makes them unapproachable. Is that why you won’t confess?” His genuine tone rubs you the wrong way, you don’t need be given false hope.

“Stop it, you said you would drop it,” you frown, “Anyways, thank you for the food boss—”

“—not your boss anymore. Just call me Yuta, we’re partners now.”

“Aren’t you two years older than me?”

“And?”

You shrug at that, “well, thanks Yuta. For the food, not for the interrogation.” He chuckles at that, nodding while pulling out his car keys. “see you Monday!” he waves you off.

You sigh as you get home. It wasn’t as late as you thought it was, only a few minutes past nine. You really wanted to see him. Would he be busy?

You fish out your phone and dial his number before chickening out.

“Hello?”

“Jae! It’s me. Are you busy right now?” your heartbeat is pounding so loud, you’re scared he could hear it on the other end. “Right now?” you hear shuffling on the other end, “no, I was just reading that book Jungwoo sent me. Might have dozed off a bit into it but don’t tell him I said that,” he chuckles.

“Why, is everything ok? It’s still early, did you end dinner that fast?”

“Oh, Yuta and I called it a night pretty early. Too many couples were out and about and it got a bit awkward,” you explained.

“Yuta?”

“Ah, yes. Yuta Nakamoto, but now that we’re associates, he said it would be better to address him less formally.” You waive him off, “actually, I was wondering—if it’s not too late, can I still come over? If not, that’s cool. We can still hang out tomorrow, but your birthday is today and I thought—”

He laughs at your rambles, “of course you can come over, you know you don’t have to ask. How many times have I told you that?”

“Ok, ok. Just checking,” you still had your comfy change of clothes in your car, so you opt to save those for tomorrow and change into something causal for tonight.

“Do you want me to go get you? We can get ice cream on the way, hopefully they don’t close early.”

“Sounds like a plan then,” curse your heart for melting at everything he says.

“Alright, give me 15 and I’ll be there.” He hangs up.

You look at your bag, resting on your sofa and you sigh. The entire night, it’s almost as if you could feel the weight of his gift weighing it down. Yuta is known for being very observant, it’s why he was so good at his job. Closing deals and making contracts in advertisement. Would he be right about this? You know you desperately wish he was, but is it worth risking your best friend?

EndNote | Woooow, that was a longass ride. Let me know if you liked it or if there are other typos I missed! Or just to let me know what you thought, that would be much appreciated. I'm thinking of finishing it by Sunday 6/13, so hopefully the next part is up by then. Until then!

Here's Part 2!

[watayaaratamblr]

Arata is an unfortunate character.

No, he is NOT!

But if we wish to make him one, then we don't need one fifth of the effort put into making Taichi the "sad" character that most fans keep labeling as "Poor Taichi", and Arata would have been then the most unfortunate character in Chihayafuru. All we need is a good mangaka (Suetsugu is!) & the intention to make him draw sympathy (the whole point), simply because Arata’s story is well packed with good material serving the purpose.

Starting with the fact that he was an almost blind child … Like “looking through a magnifying glass”, hearing voices outside but being unable to see anything~ A child who had to wear glasses from the age of 3, any writer can make this a touching story if so they wished -But Suetsugu sensei did not want to.

Growing up as a weak boy who is a letdown in everything most boys do, crying alone when he fails to fit in, disappointing his father who kept pushing him to go outside and be “normal” like all the other children all while letting go of Karuta that he was confirmed to have liked since he was very young. Writing a bit of his struggles to find a place for himself within the norms could have made readers cry a lot.

His grandfather thankfully extended his hand to him, offered him a place where he can be himself; But that too, created a situation where he maybe had to take a side & deal somehow with the other side because his grandfather & his father had a fight and he can only be torn between them. I’m no writer myself, but I can make this sentimental.

Then his father took him away to Tokyo where he had to be a part of a poor family, and not only to cancel his needs & desires (like for example having different outfits for school instead of the few he will be noticed to wear frequently) but to also work sometimes to support his parents, to wake up before school time in the early mornings when other children are probably sound asleep in their warm beds, to go outside in the cold, to earn some cash and to give it to his parents … I read some real sad stories with this idea. So yeah, Arata could have been one of the saddest characters if Suetsugu wanted him to be.

And not to mention being bullied and laughed at for not only his impoverishment (which he can hope to change) but for his identity (as a boy from Fukui speaking a “weird” dialect). He received all this with lot of patience, and tried to comfort himself by himself with his grandfather’s “gift”, how it was a refugee for him.

Any writer can make a sob story out of Arata’s unspoken loneliness & yearning for home, his grandpa & for playing his beloved Karuta properly.

Or out the fact that he couldn’t make any friends in his new school either (he was confirmed to never have real friends since his childhood through the fact that he struggled to fit in + he stayed like that even after he grew up (like Murao said), and he is not someone who doesn’t care about having friends because he was confirmed to almost worship his bond with Taichi & Chihaya, Taichi specifically even though their friendship isn’t really a comforting one; he longed for friendship however it is!)

He enjoyed that friendship nonetheless, he might even have felt like he was compensated for everything he wished for through it but he was soon robbed of all of it as he was separated from these friends & while he could still enjoy a bit of it through correspondence (at least Chihaya kept in touch), he wasn't as untroubled as needed for that because he was about to lose his precious grandfather.

And the process of losing him wasn’t something to take lightly either. Having busy (or rather negligent?) parents made him (a boy not even 14 years old) a caregiver for an old man who suffered from paralysis on the right side of his body and later dementia, not as simple as that, he had to watch what his most beloved & respected person turn into day & night, when he worked “really hard” (as stated in the manga) with his rehabilitation exercises, when he helped him with his baths, he massaged his limbs, he fed him, constantly talked to him & showed him Karuta cards to “keep him” in this world. And when it's too much for him, he goes outside the room and cries bitter tears silently, all alone! There was this person who suffered from (PTSD) for years because their sick aunt didn’t recognize them (they were her favorite nephew before & they were 17 yo at the time), this person couldn’t visit her since & couldn’t see her before she died & they developed a fear of “getting too close” & of seeing sick people, they had to seek long & serious therapeutic help. And Arata actually suffered from PTSD for over a year & half, any psychologist can easily recognize that from the fact that he quit Karuta, refused to touch & hated to see the cards (I stress on this), how he answered Chihaya when she called him, how the calm & patient him (that we knew from his childhood) was agitated & treated her rudely when she insisted on playing a match. And it was all confirmed in Arata’s last words in the same chapter: “I wanted to see you, I always had, but I didn’t want you to see me like this” (in the official tr), he knew that he wasn’t himself (contrary to what Taichi thought, his friend who decided to abandon him instead of trying to help. Chihaya still had faith in him but Taichi was louder -ch10)

Still, thanks to Chihaya, Arata was back to his beloved Karuta, though we all questioned how much fun he really felt while playing again, how much of him was involved with the game now. And eventually, he himself expressed the pressure (not the fun) he felt while playing. What took his passion away, what turned the feelings of a Karuta baka into mere obligation, this also is good content for an emotionally charged story, it only needs the intention of the writer.

And he shone in the world of Karuta. YET he was never “proud” of it, that was never received as anything special. When he comes back home, none really cares (or at least, none shows any enthusiasm), he goes to the western-challenger qualifiers and his parents won’t even go watch, won’t even prepare some food for him, he comes back home late & finds none, and prepares everything by himself (apart from Yu’s help). His parents pray for his defeat, meaning that his DREAM to become Meijin/be strongest in Karuta doesn’t mean much to them, and he knows it, and he was never shown telling them the news like when you want to share a happy one. Arata’s mother -before giving up after acknowledging Arata’s dedication- wanted his defeat even though there was enough money to support him, the lack of money being the excuse she & her husband claimed to be the reason of their lack of support.

The support system Arata lacks isn’t only in his family. Since the death of his grandfather he seems to stand alone in Karuta too. Murao was the only one who spared some time for him but only after he realized how “alone” he was and took pity on him. Murao's realization implies that the training Arata was doing at the Nagumo society didn’t really count for what he really needed. Kuriyama sensei (being expected by fans to be the “Harada” in Arata’s side) was almost useless & he himself expressed his confusion about what to do with him & how to help him. We never saw him particularly guide him in any way either. "Experiences" & "taking chances" were two factors that helped Mizusawa members for example to grow a lot, but these chances are doors without knobs & we know that they were opened for them by adults who were taking care of them in a way or another + being friends ensured that they encouraged each other then proceeded with every idea they got to learn & experience more. Arata lacks both these sources (adults around him rather burdened him with their expectations) so he kept training on his own mostly & we saw how it felt frustrating to him to be relying only on his solo training & an "image" encouraged by a long-dead teacher, he realized the toll of lacking real opponents in practice with whom he can measure his abilities & correct his mistakes to grow stronger. Support can also be emotional. Did Arata ever receive particular emotional support? I can only remember panels where the people worried for him kept watching him from afar while he dealt with it on his own.

Yu was an exception but even her support was written in a way suggesting that Arata was prepared to go on without it. Because with time, Arata learnt to "not expect much" which is also a very interesting trope for a sad story.

And he was described as “a lonely player on top” but this was never elaborated to show how it felt like to be one for Arata himself. This idea is also brilliant for melancholy if the author wanted fans to sympathize with Arata but she didn't go beyond praising Chihaya who could somehow reach him & Shinobu chan.

And while playing on his own (or working part time to support himself), taking care of himself, he met his two precious friends again (they were the only selfish desire Arata has openly expressed throughout the series). But what he felt is that he was left behind & that he was the only one so far away. And he was. They got to experience so many things he didn’t, they made new friends & new bonds & he didn’t, they got closer to each other & he didn’t… At the end he went back to be the outsider & them the two old childhood friends. If the author wrote just a little bit more about these, if she highlighted these facts they could have made a good drama.

Love is the main reason Taichi is "felt for" (because he progressed in karuta but not in Love ..not yet at least). Arata is also a part of the love triangle in Chihayafuru, and if we try to summarize it with the intention of making it sad, then let's go, there is enough to say for that, we just need a good writer (which I'm not sadly). Still in short: Arata seems to have started to develop feelings for Chihaya a long time ago but he had to keep that in check because he thought she was dating Taichi & he kept his distance out of respect for that assumed relationship even though he craved at least connecting with his old friends. When he came closer, Chihaya was interested in him but he never knew, the enthusiasm she showed him was not different from how she is with everyone, no, Taichi received special treatment, while for him, every time he tries to say something to her he is cut off somehow. Everything seemed to be against them getting close. Later Chihaya seemed to have ultimate fun with Taichi too, maybe that was the only thing he thought he could give her, now she didn't need it. Maybe he had that thought again when she praised his game against Harada sensei that's why he confessed but soon, She is once again so far away, she seemed to need Taichi to function properly, he understood that & he used that to cheer her up in her most important tournament. He wanted badly to play with her again to only be totally iced, he couldn't even be seen by her, he was so far away, she belonged to where he wasn't part of (& even her friend kana found a way to express her disapproval of him) Can we not make a drama out of this? Or out of his stuttering, awkwardness & introversion? Or maybe the fact that his parents don't understand him? And did anyone alse feel that in most of Taichi's mother's appearances, we got this feeling that Taichi is a son who should be cared for while when Arata's parents appeared, many times, we can feel how Arata was used to highlight their feelings as individuals & he was drawn there as the member of the family who had to pay attention to that? Anyway, every single one of these points alone is very good material for a "tearjerker" so what about all of them combined? because they are all facts from Arata's reality.

Again, all we need is a good writer (we have it) & the intention to make it that way which isn't there. Suetsugu decided instead to put double the effort to make Taichi the "sorrowful/anguished" one because Arata is not a character written to feel sorry for or to commiserate. He is rather written for the most part of the manga as an inspiring one, an aspiration, to be a drive & a goal. So despite having all the above circumstances, he is instead written as a character who keeps to himself, doesn't complain, hides his hardships, makes it seem that he fine when he notices that someone is watching, tries to focus on what he has & be happy with it however little or simple. That's why it's easy for him to forget & forgive, easy for him to recover & stand up again because there are other characters who need him there as an example, who think that he is perfectly fine so they should only focus on themselves and thus, Bildungsroman can be used for them. And finally- wait, what were Taichi's problems again?

----------------------------------------------------

Writer adds:

[teresa-of-ficwill]

Dead End Journey (or not?) - The Witcher

Summary:

When you fall in love with the witcher, things are never going on easy. Jaskier knew it. But what if you fell in love with two witchers? And also met a really gorgeous woman, who you can't get out of your head? It gets even more complicated.

However, maybe… Jaskier even likes all this a little bit. Or not a little? Anyway, time will tell.

CHAPTER 1

Jaskier was sure that something had gone wrong. Completely wrong. He had never imagined hanging around with a broken heart but there he was. Shattered to pieces. Rejected by his only one.

Actually, Geralt wasn’t his only one in common understanding. Jaskier slept with so many people he could not even count. Men, women… to him that didn’t matter. He was attractive, funny, and good at sex – people loved him for that. But everyone has to stop somewhere. And Jaskier thought he was ready to stop if Geralt was by his side. As a witcher, as a friend�� and as a lover.

But his beloved man had always chosen another one. Yennefer. It was really predictable, to be honest, but Jaskier didn’t want to see it. Didn’t want to believe. Yen… she is a bitch. But she is really attractive, hot and good-looking bitch. She treated Geralt like shit and he fell for that. Oh, what a shame. But, maybe, Geralt didn’t want to be loved. Maybe he just wanted to be controlled.

Jaskier was not sure but he actually didn’t want to figure it out. He just wanted to forget but it seemed impossible. So, he decided to just get drunk till he forgets his own name. Really good idea.

This woman… she was beautiful. Blond hair, nice smile, and drunk green eyes – absolutely his type. She wanted him. She really did. So, he let her hit on like he always does. Good sex can never cause a threat, you know.

She treated him well. Jaskier didn’t know why he noticed that but he did. She was gentle and slow, getting sure they both would have their part of pleasure. Usually, Jaskier is in charge in his one-night stands but this time he gave her a chance to take control.

“You didn’t ask my name,” she said, suddenly letting his cock out of her mouth.

“W-what?”

“You didn’t ask my name,” she repeated.

“Oh… I’m… I’m sorry I…”

“Don’t be, dear. I didn’t ask your name either. My name is Jane.”

“Jaskier,” he said after a few seconds, a little bit confused.

“Nice to meet you, Jaskier,” she smiled playfully and continued sucking his dick.

The bard felt confused just for the next few seconds but pleasure made him forget about that pretty fast. It’s not too strange to ask the name of a man whose dick you are sucking at this moment, is it? Everyone did it at least once, right?

Then Jane decided to ride him. He wasn’t against it. She felt… good. Like any pretty woman. She knew exactly what she was doing, and it was really attractive. Sometimes Jaskier loves not to be in charge and just take pleasure given to him by someone else. It was a good way to forget. Not to think about Geralt and Yennefer. And – for god’s sake – not to think about Yen riding Geralt’s cock just like Jane rides his.

The picture went through his mind really fast and it was so disgusting Jaskier almost lost all his sexual arousal. But suddenly Jane kissed him. Gently but with passion. She didn’t kiss him before, they were just having sex, so it was all of a sudden but he liked it.

So Jaskier closed his eyes and imagined Geralt kissing him like that. Kissing while riding his dick. Geralt’s moans with his deep voice… the bard is sure that would sound amazing. Unbelievably perfect. Right.

Picture which went through his mind this time was so bright, so wanted, and inaccessible that it made Jaskier cum really hard. It was literally one of the best orgasms he has ever got. With close eyes, dreaming about impossible… the bard suddenly felt so miserable he felt himself about to cry. Fortunately, he managed to get a grip before he opened his eyes.

Jane smiled, fixed her hair, and got off him.

“Was it… fine?” Jaskier asked when she lied down by his side. He got so distracted with his dreams so he felt unsure if she got her orgasm.

“It was… quite good actually,” she took a cigarette from the bedside table and lit it with a match. “You gave me a chance to be in charge and I highly appreciate it. Most of the men are too afraid of the idea of being dominated. Ugh… boring people.”

“Yeah,” the bard smiled. “They’re just too afraid of losing control.”

“Like everyone, dear.”

They sat in silence for a while.

“So…”, started Jane, while lighting another cigarette, “It’s time to get to know each other better. It should be easier as we had sex already.”

“Is it really necessary?” Jaskier asked.

“Oh, you don’t want to?”

“No! No, I mean… you don’t have to do it just because we had sex. Quite good sex, actually, but it’s not the point. It’s not your duty.”

“Of course, it’s not,” Jane smiled and put a cigarette to her lips, taking a deep breath. “I never do anything I have to. Just the things I want,” she exhaled. “So, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“How comes such a pretty boy has such a bad taste in women?” Jane asked, making the bard choke on air.

“What do you mean?”

“Exactly what I have said.”

“Wait, I just… don’t understand. I've slept with you and now you're saying I have a bad taste in women?” asked Jaskier feeling confused.

“Yes. Yes, I do” Jane smiled. “You had known me for like two seconds and, when I proposed you sex, you agreed immediately”.

“But you are beautiful! Why should I have said «no»?”

The woman shook her head.

“It's not only about me, you silly bard. It's about every woman you have ever been with. I've heard about it pretty much. Rumors...” she pressed the end of a cigarette to her lips then exhaled. “They spread. Faster than you think.”

“So, you have known who I am when bumped into me in a tavern?”

“Not really. I was aware you look like this famous bard and you have a lute but I didn’t know for sure” Jane shrugged her shoulders. “Not before you said your name. But let’s return to the question I asked.”

“I don’t know what to answer. And what’s so bad about rumors? They make me popular among women... and men”, Jaskier smiled awkwardly. Actually, he didn't want to share his sexuality with his one-night-stand but it seems like he'd already done that.

“Do you think it's for good?”

“Sorry?”

“Being widely known as a good lover, not a good poet”, Jane explained. “Is this what you want? To be just another man who was quite good in bed and that's all?”

“Are you trying to insult me?”

“I'm trying to understand. And somehow prove you have a bad taste in women”, Jane chuckled.

“I do NOT have a bad taste in women. Stop repeating that!” Jaskier exclaimed.

“But it's true. You sleep with every woman who appears on your way. Old or young, virgin or whore... to you it doesn't matter, does it?”

“I think it... doesn't”.

“You are choosing everyone. It's not good taste, I swear".

“What's it then?”

“You should ask yourself, not me. But it seems like it's just... loneliness”.

“Loneliness?” Jaskier asked.

“Yes,” Jane smiled kindly. “It's just loneliness which leads us in beds of strangers. We have sex and then we move on without even remembering their names. We break so many beautiful hearts of people who don't deserve it because ours have already been broken”.

She put the cigarette out and then threw it on the floor.

“We are living in a fucking nightmare”, added Jane quietly. “And destroy every person we touch”.

They both kept quiet for a while. The woman took a new cigarette from the box, stood up, and walked to the fire, giving Jaskier a great view of her naked body. She was beautiful and he couldn't deny it. But also, she was smart.

The bard didn't like to admit it but he always was somehow afraid of smart people. They analyze him. They look deeply into his soul without any permission and reveal secrets he didn't think he had.

“If we have this kind of conversation anyway,” said Jane, forcing Jaskier to look at her again. “Tell me... is there someone who you secretly in love with? Oh... and don't look at me like that, dear. I just wanna understand how many things we have in common”.

“No”, answered the bard immediately.

Jane smiled. “You're terrible liar, Jaskier. At least now.”

“Oh, well... there is someone.”

“Someone who broke your heart but you still love him with all the pieces, I guess”, the woman lighted her cigarette.

“How did you know it's him?”

“I didn't. It was just a guess and you proved it", Jane pressed the end of a cigarette to her lips. “So what is his name?”

“Geralt of Rivia.”

“Is it that man you always sing about? Everyone knows him as a White Wolf or something like that,” the woman asked, slowly returning to bed.

“Yes’.

“Oh, I'm sorry’.

“Why?”

“Because I know this kind of men. They are brave and lovely and beautiful... and absolutely insensitive when it comes to the affairs of the heart. He could accidentally break your heart and still don't know he did it.”

“Are you saying that Geralt doesn't have feelings?” Jaskier chuckled. “It's just a stupid myth about the witchers”.

“No, you didn't get it. I say that Geralt... ugh, I didn't think it would be so hard to talk about,” Jane looked at the bard before she sat at the corner of the bed. “I say that witchers are bad when it comes to feelings. They don't know how to love. They are not emotionless, they are just... inexperienced. I'm not sure it's the right word but still. They don't want to cause hurt. But they make mistakes and break our hearts just because they don't know how to do it right. And it is... the saddest thing I have ever understood.”

“Some witcher also broke your heart, didn't he?”

“Yes. And I thought I was fine until I've found myself hanging around and sleeping with strangers”.

“So, you think there is no chance I will be happy with Geralt?” Jaskier asked and it seemed like a very important question to him.

“Depends on you”.

“How so?”

“If you are ready to teach him how to love and let him break your heart again and again and again with his somehow stupid mistakes... well, maybe you'll have a happily ever after. I don't know.”

“You don't seem happy.”

“I didn't try. I’ve failed before I even started. But you can succeed.”

“You think so?”

Jane smiled kindly. “I'm sure you can. It's about patience... and love probably, but... you won't succeed if you aren't patient enough.”

“Are you still in love?” asked Jaskier after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

“Huh?”

“Are you still in love with your witcher?”

The woman smiled again but there was a pain behind her smile. “I wanna say I'm not but that would be a lie.”

“What's his name? Maybe... maybe I know him.”

She waited for a couple of seconds. “Lambert. He's son of a bitch but I had fallen for him without even noticing. And then it was too late.”

“What happened between you two?” asked Jaskier. Maybe it was quite inappropriate question, but he wanted to know.

“He cheated on me. And then again. And again and... He shattered my heart into pieces and I ended this relationship because I was nearly to end myself. I'm in love with him but he didn't worth my death. I still have some kind of self-respect, you know.”

“He absolutely did not worth your death. You're an amazing woman. You can find someone better.”

“As well as you, dear. But here we are, talking about our broken hearts.”

Jaskier wanted to answer something but he couldn't find any proper words. Because Jane was right and he understood that. They both can find someone who will love them, who will care about them, who won’t break their hearts.

Oh, no, it’s not right. Truth be told, it always was a dead-end journey and they still took it. They chose the most painful path. They made their hearts bleed, all by themselves. And now they have to pay the cost.

Jane took his hand, forcing Jaskier to look at her again. “Does it feel like hell when you think about him?” she asked.

“Yes, it does”.

“Do you like it?”

Jaskier swallowed loudly, “Yes, I do.”

You can find the next chapters here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29364243/chapters/72132126#workskin

[x-avantgarde-x]

You can have as many as you want.

(Because my Tumblr is a bad bitch it:

1. Sent the answer before I had finished writing it.

2. Deleted the ask.

Tumblr, why do you hate me so much?? Any way. I'mma post this, and I give 0 fucks if you do or do not want me to.)

aAaAaAAAAHHHH. Thank you v much, gosh you are so sweet!

Touch starved Erik is the best Erik! Prompts used where "I don't deserve you." And "Don't leave me." From some list I had saved. This turned out a little angsty at some point, but our Erik is just a complex boy who needs his time to work things out, so the fluff is still in there. Hope you enjoy it!

Couple: Erik (The Phantom of the Opera) x reader. Mainly Lerik and Kerik ksks.

Summary: Erik it's just too edgy to admit to himself that he's longing for for being touched gently and when the reader does so for the first time things go kinda wild.

————————————————————

You sat at the couch at Erik's house, you still weren't so sure if his underground den in the middle of a lake fitted the concept of a (common) house, but the longer you spent down there the less you cared. By now it all had already acquired a sense of familiarity and homely feeling.

You had met Erik a year ago. A few days after what happened with Christine Dae you heard the sceneshifters talking about how they believed to have heard someone wondering down the basements of the Opera the same night The Dae had been abducted and that the whole Opera went crazy. Usually you were a really quiet person, and prefered to stay out of trouble but that day curiosity took the best of you. And by the sunset you were already under the fifth basement of the Opera Populaire.

You got lost many times, and many others you almost got killed by a trap, but at some point you came across an underground lake with a jetty where a small boat was tied. Without much thinking you got inside the boat and started rowing, not really knowing where you planned to get to. To your surprises after what seemed like a few hours of rowing aimlessly you could get a glimpse of some faint lights in the middle of a cave. Suddenly your strength came back to your already numb arms and you got to land in less that ten minutes.

You glanced around curiously. A voice inside your head was wondering what were so many candles doing down there, and most importantly, how they had gotten there but another voice onside you, the curious one who seemed to had just awakened today, told you to follow the path they seemed to mark.

As if in a dream you started walking, not really aware of what your body was doing. You felt like floating. It seemed as if you were in between a dream and reality,and that the glimmering candles told your body to follow them to wherever they lead to.

Eventually you got to what seemed to be a door and opening it, still not being completely responsible of your actions, you walked into what seemed to be a living room. You snapped out of your slumber because of the state of the room. Furniture had been flipped and pushed to the ground, the floor had vanished under a layer of what seemed to be shattered scores and glasses. Every room you walked into looked exactly the same.

Your heart almost escaped your chest when you found what seemed to be a room with a coffin laying at the floor. With fearful steps you finally made it to the casket where a beautiful cat laued inside. You kneeled in front of it and tried to pet it, but the animal simply held your glance for a few seconds before storming out of the room. Fearing for it to get hurt you chased it to one of the rooms that you hadn't already looked at. The first thing that you noticed was that next to the doorframe there was a switch, and you cursed yourself for not looking for them sooner. When the light turned on you couldn't believe your eyes.

There was what seemed to be a corpse laying at the floor. By how it looked you would have given it for dead, if it wasn't because the closer you got the more noticeable it became that the "corpse" was breathing, with some difficulty, but breathing.

It all hit you in a second. The Corpse Like Man that everyone had believed to be the Opera ghost, the spectrum that had hunted the Opera Garnier for years. It was alive, even if it did look dead. It was a living man who lived under the Opera and who had played with you all this whole time. A man who coughed violently and seemed to be bleeding out of a wound at his body, who wouldn't make it much farther if you didn't help him out at that moment.

When you finally came out of your thoughts you went to assist him. Despite the seriousness of his injuries and the apprehension that you felt about touching him the first times eventually you got him patched up. You also carried him to the bed you had found in one of the rooms without much of a trouble once you figured out that whatever it was the reason behind his looks, it wasn't contagious.

It took you some weeks to get him to be fully conscious and for him to have enough strengths to stand up for himself. The moment that happened he was furious with you. He shouted and yelled, cursing you for saving his life and making you leave the lake house, threatening you with your death if you ever came down to find him again.

But that didn't stop you. And eventually you didn't just come to make sure that he was okay and that he hadn't killed himself but because you enjoyed his company. At the same time the man, who responded to the name Erik had began to open up to you, allowing you two to become closer.

It all felt so far away in time now. As if it had taken place years ago. Erik and you became friends eventually and you felt like the two of you had developed some kind of unspoken relationship. But you never dared to speak with him about it, not after knowing what had happened with Christine. You didn't want to bring back any painful memories to Erik, and he had many.

Talking about Erik, you hadn't heard him nor seen him in the whole evening. You thought as you started to pack your things in your bag. You wished you had been able to spend more time together today, but he must have been busy to ignore your presence so abruptly.

As you got ready to leave you heard one of the many doors behind you opening up and turned around to see the man you had been thinking about walking out of a room, who was priming the sleeves of his suit. Erik looked up to you and his face seemed to have lightened up under the mask that he stubbornly kept wearing around you, even after you had told him several times that his face didn't disgust you any longer.

-My beloved- he spoke, opening his arms in a welcoming expression -what brings you down here at this lovely evening? Have you come to visit your poor Erik?

You shook your head when you heard how he addressed himself, it pained you at your heart. Holding your bag in your hands you swung slightly on your tiptoes in a playful way before answering him.

-Truth is I've been here the whole evening. But you seemed to be busy and I didn't want to disturb you. Actually, I was getting ready to make my way out.

The smile on Erik's lips faded away and a pout took it place. Erik did not let his disappointment go unnoticed and looked straight at your eyes before speaking in the saddest voice he could find -Oh, but why must you go? Don't leave me this early, my dear.

You chuckled at his manners, even when upset he was extremely theatrical. It may be the same with every men that advocated their life to their Opera's and music, you thought. The theatrical manners were a part of them.

-I'm coming back tomorrow, and you know it. No need to throw a tantrum over my departure.

You joked. Erik played along and placing a hand to his chest, as if he had been incredibly offended he went on.

-You insult me, miss. A man like me, throwing a tantrum as a mer infant?

-It wouldn't be the first time, would it darling?- you pointed out with a giggle.

-Touché- the masked man answered, accepting his defeatment with composure and dignity.

Your cheeks turned a soft red because of the playful flirting, which took place whenever you spoke to eachother. You placed one of your locks behind your ear nervously. The butterflies inside your stomach making you feel once more as if you were back to being that young teen who would snick out with all the other ballerinas to watch the handsome actors getting changed for the shows.

Without thinking twice you walked closer to Erik, who's look of surprise you didn't seem to catch, and placed a soft peck at the corner of his lips leaning on his shoulders to get to his face. You left Erik startled by your actions and it wasn't till you were back in front of him, looking straight at his eyes, that you realized what you had done.

-Oh! Erik I- you tried to excuse yourself, but the damage was already done, and you felt his anger rising and increasing as seconds passed by.

-Damn you!- he screamed- DAMN YOU, YOU LITTLE VIPER! Oh how funny of you. Haven't I've been hurt enough for you to play such tricks on me!?!- he said, pacing around you like a hunger lion over his prey.

-Erik, darling, I didn't mean to- you attempts of calming him down fell on deaf ears because Erik headed against you with all the rage he had locked inside.

-How cruel of you! Playing with a broken man's poor heart! You know fully well that poor unhappy Erik doesn't deserve you! But still you choose to play with my feelings. Only to end up leaving me behind, just as that Swedish girl did!

Tears had formed at your eyes as he spoke his hateful words. It was not till he stormed out of the room and locked himself that you allowed yourself to cry. Collapsing at the sofa where you had been sitting not so long ago and crying your heart out.

Hours had passed by when you heard a door opening. You did not need to open your eyes nor to stand up from the sofa to face the door in order to know that it was Erik the one who had come out of it. You heard his slowed down steps as he came closer and closer to you, like a frightened child about to confront his mother after having misbehaved. When he was finally standing in front of you, head down to the floor, he dropped to his knees, tugging at the hem of your dress while crying over your lap. You hands found their way to his head, where you started playing with the few strands of his hair in an attempt to calm him down.

When Erik had finally stopped sobbing and you two were now laying together, him on top of you, at the sofa. Erik's masked face was hidden at the croock of your neck as he clinged to your body with all his strengths, as if he was scared that you would disappear if he loosened his hold on you.

Whe Erik dared to cautiously look up at your face, in case that you were still mad at him.

-(Y/N)...- he asked, almost in a whisper. You looked back at him

-Yes?

Erik swallowed, he swallowed hard, doubting if he should go on with what he had thought.

-I- I wanted to ask you for something...

It was the first time since you had ever met that Erik was asking for something for himself. So you stood up slightly, making sure that Erik was still laying over you, wearing the softest smile you could to encourage him to keep going. Oh, you were so eager to get him whatever he asked for.

-What is it, dear?

Erik let out a shaky breath, and bitting his misshapen lip he found the courage enough to speak.

-Can you give me two kisses?- he asked a child like ring at his voice -one for now and one to save?

Tears made their way to your eyes once more. The fact that all he was asking for so fearfully was nothing more but a kiss tore your heart open.

With watery eyes you knelt on the stomach and pulled Erik up with you to later throw yourself at your poor man, taking his lips between yours without hesitation. The kiss took Erik by surprise, but even if he was a little astonished at the beginning he ended up melting down in your touch, kissing you back with the same fervour.

When you had to pull apart because of the air loss you took Erik's face between your hands, his blissful eyes looking at you in pure adoration. -You can have as many kisses as you want, my love. Now and ever. No need to ask for them.

Erik's mouth formed a big o, and his eyes looked watery behind his mask. A soft smile spread across his features before he pushed you against his chest, were you buried yourself, hugging eachother lovingly.

[stilydinski]

It’s not always Forever

pairing: cursed flowerboy!jimin x persephone (goddess)

genre: angst

word count: 1.2k

description: your best friend tells you the tragic love story of persephone, the goddess of spring, and jimin park, a human

➼ based off of this drawing by @panbitchx

It was already late into the evening when you were still sitting in your local libary looking through book after book for your presentation next week. Because you were going through greek mythology in history, your teacher assigned all of you a greek god or goddess to present in class. You ended up with Persephone, known as the Goddess of Spring and the Queen of the Underworld.

You thought the topic was actually very interesting which is why you put a lot of effort into your research. Deep sunken into it you did not even notice the sun going down and people leaving the library. At this point you were probably the only person left in the building, excluding the librarian who thankfully had work herself, so you had enough time for your project. However it was already past 6 pm and dark outside considering it was fall now. Still, you wanted to finish your last paragraph for your presentation.

As you were describing how Persephone fell in love with Hades after she was forced to stay in the underworld, someone suddenly sat down in front of you. You shot up, startled, and looked at who could possibly be going to the library at this time, except for yourself that is. You relaxed when you saw it was your best friend Sana.

"How are you still here and working?" she asked, "it's late, let's go."

"Just give me five minutes I really want to finish this presentation," you told her already typing again on the laptop in front of you.

"Since when are you this dedicated to your school work, why not continue tomorrow? It's literally Friday, most people use that evening to relax, like us remember, we had plans?" she tried to remind you of the movie you wanted to watch at the cinema together later this night.

"I know, I didn't forget. This might sound odd but my presentation topic for history is actually really interesting. It's about Persephone, you know her?"

Sana looked at you with disbelief which you returned with confusion. "How long have we known each other?" Before you got to answer she continued, "Years. You literally know about the obsession I've had with greek mythology ever since I read Percy Jackson in elementary school. The fact that you even ask if I know Persephone hurts me. Now let me see that presentation."

You laughed at your friend's dramatic rant and turned your laptop to her. You watched as she read over your material.

"Gosh, I love her story so much, you don't even know. Even though it's pretty tragic. And I don't mean the fact that she was forced to stay in the underworld just because she ate those pomegranates. I'm not even surprised that you missed this part since most people believe it's just a legend that didn't actually happen. Have you ever heard anything about the story of Persephone and her human lover Jimin?" Sana looked at you with a questioning look however you could see the sparkles of excitement in her eyes.

You shook your head, "I haven't but maybe I could add it into my presentation, tell me." You gave Sana her cue to start.

"Before Persephone got involved with the underworld and fell in love with Hades, she had actually already given her heart to someone else. Jimin Park, a human she met randomly one day while wandering around on earth. His charisma enchanted her completely, as did hers with him. The two fell in love fastly and their love was strong. However she was scared to tell anyone about Jimin, afraid of what they could do to him since he was merely a human. So she kept it a secret and disappeared mysteriously all the time to be with him.

Jimin, always described as a breathtakingly handsome young man, wished she could be with him forever and stay on earth but they both knew that this was probably never going to be possible.

It's quite tragic don't you think? Being in love with someone who you know you won't be able to be with forever. Anyways, this was not even the tragic part yet.

Persephone knew that as a human Jimin would eventually age and she would lose him. They were both aware that at some point they would have to part ways. That was when she made a selfish decision out of love. She wanted to be able to be with Jimin forever, so she cursed him. The curse would reassure that he was immortal because being with him is all the Goddess could wish for. Blind with love, the man did not get mad when she told him what she did. Drunken in love they were hoping this would be their forever.

But then Persephone went to the underworld, she was thinking it would only be a temporary visit. However when her own father, Zeus, told her she had to stay there for six months every year since she ate six of the pomegranate seeds that grew there, she was heartbroken. She realized that this would mean she would not get to see Jimin for half a year without even having the chance to explain herself.

Her first six months in the underworld felt like forever. However with each day passing Hades clouded her mind further and further. Spending this long time together with him changed her. She grew accustomed to her new surroundings and company. She got closer to Hades who made her feel loved again. Persephone started to fall for him and with every step she took towards Hades she took one away from Jimin.

The now immortal human was said to have waited for her all this time at their usual spot on earth but even after Persephone got to spend the other half of the year on earth, she never returned to Jimin. Hades did everything he could to keep the goddess from thinking about anyone else except for him. The more the goddess fell in love with Hades, the weaker Jimin got since his curse was based on Persephone's love for him. She however started to forget about him and their time on earth because of Hades. Her curse started to backfire for Jimin, being immortal did no longer seem like a blessing to him since it would mean he would spend forever alone, wondering what happened to the love of his life.

Jimin, after all these years still waiting at their spot, became weaker and weaker, only the shell of the man he used to be. It seemed as if his broken heart released the energy of the curse the Goddess of spring had brought upon him. Slowly beautiful spring flowers started to grow from his heart. The love of the two was broken. For days and weeks it seemed as if Jimin was finally becoming one with nature, one with spring, his true love. The flowers growing from his heart took over his body and grew out of him. In the end the man was reunited with the woman he loved, as a part of spring."

After Sana finished telling the story of Jimin and Persephone you two sat in silence for a moment.

"This might be the saddest story I have ever heard. I don't care if it's just a legend or not, I'll use it for my presentation. Thank you," you spoke up. Both of you finally got up and left the library, however not without you stopping in thought in front of the flower shop on the other side of the road.

[paolaofthewatertribe]

suga - the bet

«bet on me just one more time»

I started to go down the school hallways to my locker. I needed to get some books before the classes began. In that moment, the sound of doors opening could be heard. I turned around and saw him.

Min Yoon Gi. One of the most popular boys at our school. He looked so good as always. I sighed. I had a crush on him for years now, but I knew that he was way out of my league.

I decided to stop looking his way, and started walking to my english class. There I found Taehyung, my best friend. We knew each other since we were neighbors, and literally grew up together.

— Hey darling — he said, hugging me.

— Tae — I smiled at him.

After two long hours of english, we finally had a break. Taehyung and I always used to eat together, but today he was going to eat with Young Mi, his crush and soon-to-be girlfriend. At least I hoped for it.

I decided to go outside so I could have a little peace since the cafeteria was filled with students of all ages. Once there, I sat down a tree and closed my eyes, wanting to rest for a bit.

— Are you sleeping? — a deep voice made me open my eyes. The one and only Min Yoon Gi was looking at me. His mint green hair was falling down his face, and his hands were not leaving his pockets, like always.

— Just resting — I said. He chuckled and I couldn't help but smile —. Do you need something? — I know it sounded a little rude, but we never really talked to each other. Sometimes just a little small talk in class but that was all. So it was obvious that he wanted something.

— Actually, yes. I know we haven't really talked yet, but I would really like to change that — wait, was he flirting with me? —. So I wondered if maybe you'd like to do something together after school.

— Ehm, sure, why not? — I said, trying not to sound too excited.

— Awesome — he said with a little smirk —. What about we meet here?

We talked about what we were going to do and then he left. When I found myself in class again, I was super nervous.

— [y/n], what's wrong? — asked Tae.

— Yoongi asked me out on a date — I said with a big smile on my face.

— What? Are you serious? — I nodded.

— We're going to meet after school.

— Look. I know that you're excited and all that, but I don't know if this is a good idea. I just don't have a good feeling about this, so be careful, okay?

— Where are we going? — my eyes were covered by his hands so I couldn't see anything.

— Just wait and see.

It was our third date already. Both dates before that had been amazing, so I had no idea what could be better than that.

Yoongi suddendly stopped, making me almost trip. But to my luck, he was there, making sure I didn't got hurt.

— Are you ready? — I just nodded, and with that he took his hands out of my face so I could see my surroundings.

I gasped at the beautiful view. I could tell that we were on a mountain, and we could see the ocean from here. The sunset lights were painting the waves, making it look like art. I had never seen something so beautiful in my life.

I turned around to look at Yoongi. He was also admiring the view. His hair, now black, was slightly moving due to the wind. I couldn't help myself so I hugged him. I heard him laugh before he hugged me tight.

— Do you like it?

— I love it.

We pulled away and looked into each other's eyes. The wind made my hair go into my face, which made him laugh. I loved to hear him laugh. He placed that hair strain behind my ear and I could feel him looking at my lips.

He started to get closer and closer. I looked at his lips too, and then at his beautiful dark eyes. As his lips finally touched mine, I felt in heaven. His touch was soft and sweet, like sugar.

My hands moved to his neck, and his to my waist, pulling me closer to him. It was my first kiss, and I was happy that it was with him.

It has been a week since my first kiss with Yoongi. We've been hanging up a lot, but I still don't know what we are. Is he now my boyfriend? We didn't made anything official, and that was all I could think about.

I was laying in my bed while looking at the ceiling, with all those thoughts inside my head. Suddenly, I heard someone knocking on my window. I got up quickly, wondering who could it be at that time of the night.

To my surprise Yoongi was there. I opened the window to let him in since it was very cold outside.

— What are you doing here?

— I've been thinking about something and I think it's time we talk about it - was he going to end things between us? I sat down on my bed and he did the same —. I was wondering if maybe you'd like to make this official. You know, this thing that has been going on between us since almost a month.

I wasn't expecting that. He wanted to make things official. I smiled.

— Are you asking me what I think you're doing? — he laughed, a bit nervous. He looked really cute when he was nervous.

— [y/n], would you be my girlfriend? — and there it was. As an answer, I decided to kiss him. I could feel him smile and that made me happy. I was Min Yoon Gi's girlfriend, finally.

Four months has passed since Yoongi asked me to be his girlfriend and I was the happiest girl alive. I loved spending time with him. Damn, I loved him.

We were at our spot, the place where we shared our first kiss. We were doing a little picnic since the weather was really nice. I stared at him.

He was eating a sandwich while looking at the ocean. His black hair looked a little fluffy, and his dark eyes we're shining thanks to the sun. His whole body was covered by the sunset's light, making him look more handsome. If that was possible.

— Why are you staring at me? — I could see him looking at me with a little smile on his face.

— I love you — that was all I could say at that moment. For a second, he looked surprised, but then he stood up and walked in my direction.

As he was in front me, he pulled me closer to him, kissing me passionately. His own and special way of saying "i love you".

I found myself in Yoongi's bedroom. Today would be the first day we sleep together, as in the same bed, and I was pretty nervous about it. Would it happen? I took a deep breath, forgetting about my thoughts.

Yoongi was now on the bathroom, showering. It was a long day of school, and I was still finishing my homework. Frustrated for not getting the math equation right, I ripped the page and threw it on the trash can.

I wanted to try and solve that stupid equation again when something caught my eye. A piece of paper on the trash can with my name on it. I took it out, made sure I could still hear the shower, and started reading.

the bet

victim: [y/n]

steps:

1. take her out on a date √

2. kiss her √

3. ask her to be your girlfriend √

4. get her to say "i love you" √

5. sleep with her

6. break her heart

I couldn't believe my eyes. Was that some sort of joke? Tears started coming out of my eyes.

All this time together, all these six months, had only been a fucking bet. He was using me. I felt so stupid for not noticing earlier. Taehyung was right this whole time.

I saved the note on my backpack, and when I felt Yoongi came out of the bathroom, I fake-called my mom.

— What?! I'll be there as soon as possible — he looked at me confused —. Something bad happened at home, and I need to go, right now. I'm sorry.

— Don't worry babe, they need you there. Should I drive you home? — why did he have to be such a sweetheart?

— No, I'll just walk there, but thanks — I walked to him and kissed him, "for the last time", I thought. I didn't wanted to admit it but I was going to miss him.

Today was the day. The day I will confront Yoongi about the bet. I tried to act normal towards him the whole weekend, but the truth is I was hurting like hell. I spent day and night crying, with a single question on my mind. Why?

But I needed to be strong. Or at least, look like I was strong. I couldn't let him see that I was heartbroken.

— Yoongi — I said, standing in front of him and his friends, ready to tell him off.

— Hey babe — he smiled and tried to kiss me, but i stopped him. He looked confused.

— You don't have to pretend anymore. I already know about the bet — I showed him the piece of paper with the whole steps on it and his eyes widened —. I can't believe you could do that to me. But that's how life is, right? I should've known it was too good to be true — I sighed, holding back my tears. I had to be strong —. Whatever we had, it's over. And I don't want to see you again.

I turned around and walked towards the exit, feeling the tears run down my face. But the saddest part was when he didn't tried to stop me.

Hours had passed since I ended things with Yoongi. I was sitting on the grass while looking at the ocean. It was past midnight, but I didn't care. I looked at the horizont thinking about our first date, our first kiss... Tears kept falling down my face, but I didn't care.

I was madly in love with him and I still couldn't believe that he did that to me. Was our whole relationship a lie? Has it just been an act? I was mad at him for leading me in, for pretending to fall in love with me. But one part of me didn't wanted to believe that it was over.

I layed on the ground, looking at the stars. They looked so bright. I sighed. Why was love so hard?

— [y/n]? — that voice. I sat and turned around to see Yoongi standing there, right in front of me.

— Fuck off.

— Wow, you really are mad — was he stupid? Of course I was mad! —. Please, just listen to me.

— Are you going to tell me that it wasn't a bet? That it was all a stupid joke? — he sat next to me.

— It was a bet — he looked away —, but...

— Spare it, I don't wanna hear it — I interrupted him while I stand up, ready to go. But he saw my intentions and grabbed my arm, not letting me go.

— No! You're not leaving [y/n]! Please, just let me explain... — I could see how his eyes watered and it broke my heart.

— Okay — he let go of my arm, so I put my hands in the pockets of my jacket.

— At first it was just a bet. I didn't wanted to because I thought it was stupid and useless, but the boys forced me to do it. Our first dates were just an act, I'll admit it. But then I got to know you better, and when we kissed... Damn, that kiss changed everything — his cheeks were turning a little red and I found that really cute —. After that, I started to have strong feelings towards you. Everything that happened after that kiss was different. I did all these things because I wanted to, not because of the bet. You have to believe me — he took a deep breath, came closer to me and held my hand in his —. I love you [y/n]. I am crazy in love with you.

I knew that he was being completely honest with me, so I believed him. And I couldn't be mad with him. He was looking at the ground, scared of staring at my eyes. I squeezed his hand softly, making he stare at me.

— I love you too Yoongi — he hugged me with joy. When he pulled away I could see a big smile on his face. He was really cute. I couldn't help myself so I kissed him.

At the end, the bet was worth it. It brought as two together, and I was so thankful to have a person like Yoongi by my side.

[rogue-barnes-16]

SECRETS (part III/IV)

Summary: Detectives James Barnes and Y/n Y/l/n never really got along, despite being partners for seven months. You could say they hated each other, however, when James’ past shows up threatening to break him all over again, the truth about their feelings comes to the surface.

Pairing: cop!Bucky Barnes x cop!Reader

Genre: angsty (fluff in the end)

Tags:

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @sinviix @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125

Warnings: angsty, language

A/N: *EDITED* It's finished babes.

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist (here you can find part I and II)

BUCKY'S P. O. V.

"Okay" Y/n muttered, more to herself than to me, while she opened her front door. "c'mon. Make yourself comfortable" she requested, closing the door behind us after I had stepped in.

Without any other word, she walked through the hall and dissappeared into one of the rooms. Since I didn't know what to do, nor were to go, I stood still and looked around, taking a moment to properly observe the apartment.

It was relatively small and a bit chaotic. None of the items seemed to have any connection, but then I started to see they all had a part of Y/n in them.

"told you to make yourself comfortable, didn't I?" I jolted at her voice suddenly breaking the peaceful silence while she walked towards me with a pillow and a folded blanket in her arms. "you should listen to me once in a while"

"I already did that today" I replied, following her to the couch in the living room where she was now sitting. "I agreed to stay with you. Didn't I?" I added the last part mocking her tone.

She rolled her eyes, the lightest ghost of a grin on her lips "You're a bit of a dumbass"

I shrugged and replied "not the worst thing that you called me."

It was meant to be a teasing comment, but, instead of giving me a snarky reply, she shifted uncomfortable in her seat. "Okay" she cleared her throat whilst rubbing her hands. "I'm going to sleep. If you need to go to the bathroom, it's" she got up "at the end of the corridor."

She made an attempt of saying something, but instead, she shut her mouth again and gave me a small smile.

And the saddest think about that smile was that I knew it wasn't genuine. I knew it was something else, something way worse.

"Y/l/n" she stopped walking and turned to me when I called her. "for fucks sake, don't pity me, okay?"

There was a beat of silence full of tension before she replied with a calm but almost offended voice. "I'm not pitying you" I scoffed. "Stop being so damn paranoid, Barnes."

I clenched my hands together, holding back not only the anger and the frustration, but also the pang of pain in my heart. "this was a bad idea."

" 'S better than let you spend the night on the break room's couch, though" she made a pause and added, "or in a random bar, getting blackout drunk."

"first thing tomorrow morning I'm looking for a fucking motel room" I hissed, violently throwing the pillow to one side of the couch before getting up to prepare the blanket she gave me. " 'cause if I gotta live with you for an entire week, I'm gonna lose it."

She scoffed "so am I" and, before I knew it, she was besides me, putting my hands away from the blanket to do it herself. "I can't fucking stand you either. But here I am, asking you to sleep in my couch for a damn week, well aware that I'll be wanting to kill you the second night" I swallowed, silently begging for her to shut up. "and you know why, smartass?" she pushed herself off the couch, standing on her feet right in front of me.

"fuckin' surprise me, darlin'." I managed to hiss in low voice, despise masking the spark of fear growing on my chest at the thought of how she could end the sentence.

Her lips pursed and her jaw clenched, and for a second I was terrified because fuck, deep down I knew that she could hurt me.

Badly.

Then her gaze softened very slightly and when she spoke, her voice was much calmer. "because I care"

Out of everything she could have replied, I would have never expected her to say that. It left me so shocked that I didn't even notice when she left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up, exhausted and sweaty, hyperventilating due to another bad dream that I had gotten used to during the last months.

After propping myself over my forearms, I saw Y/n with her arms crossed, leaning against the door frame of her room in a way that she had a perfect view of my shaky form.

"Christ" I cursed, letting myself fall on the couch with my hands covering my face. "What the hell, Y/n?" I asked, equally startled and ashamed.

"you alright?" she asked hesitant.

And why the fuck did she asked? Was that question really necessary? I mentally asked to myself.

I heard a couple of noises and when I removed my hands from my face, I saw her leaning over the coffee table to leave a glass of water and a cookie over it.

"try to rest. If you can't, wake me up and we'll work on the case" she whispered, letting her hand briefly squeeze my shoulder on her way out of the living room.

Before her fingers completely slipped off me, I held her hand for a second to stop her. " hey Y/n" She turned around and hummed, prompting me to talk. "can we work on the case now?" I asked quietly, not believing the stupidity I had just said. "just for a bit?"

She took a peek at the clock hanging onto the wall and sighed. "Sure. Just until you're tired again, though." Y/n said, going to her room to get, I assumed, the reports of the case that she kept in her house.

"Okay" I agreed, sitting up to leave her some room for when she came back. "thanks"

"whatever" she mumbled, sitting down besides me and leaving the folders over the coffee table. "anythin' to make you shut up for a bit." there was no bitterness in her voice when she spoke. "and for the record, I'm not pitying you, it's just that I'm... I don't know" she cleared her throat, relocating the folders even though didn't need to be relocated.

It was one of her nervous habits. To unnecessarily tide up things. Just like it was running a hand through her hair or rubbing her hands together.

"I know it doesn't make sense, but I wish I had noticed it earlier."

"there's nothing you could have done anyway" I tried to make it better, but apparently, I only made it worse.

"yeah I guess" she shrugged. "well never know" looking at me, she pursed her lips in a thin line and the corners of her mouth twisted up in a sad smile. "anyway, let's get to work"

~~~~~~~~~~~~

READER'S P. O. V.

Everything went amazing during the first four days.

Instead of hating each other even more, our dynamics surprisingly change for better. The silent communication between us was now way more smooth and fluent; the teasing and taunting, even though it was still there, it had gotten considerably less aggressive and more playful.

It was the morning of the fifth day when everything went south.

I had fallen asleep on my bed with Bucky besides me, but when I woke up, he wasn't there.

That wasn't what worried me.

No.

No.

What worried me was the sounds that woke me up. I heard shouts coming from a female voice.

When I walked out of the room, I was met with that Dot girl pacing on my living room. "are you fucking serious right now, James?! Why would you do this to me?!"

For some reason, I felt the need to go to my room and grab my gun before confronting her in the living room.

So I did, because if she had managed to get in my apartment, then she was actually dangerous.

[axupodz]

30 Amazing Questions Only A Genius Could Answer.

( insert obvious clickbait thumbnail)

As requested by @judyxd26

THIS IS OBVIOUSLY MY OWN OPINION. DONT @ ME

JUST MONIKA (I see you there)

Probably Yuri. The Shy/Yandere anime trope has been used a little too much recently.

Has to be "Your Reality". I gives me the feels everytime. EVERYTIME.

"Sayo-nara" gotta be my least fav. Not because its bad or anything. It just gives me scary flashbacks of Sayori. TOO SPOOPY FOR ME.

Most afraid? Hmm, if ur talking about the jumpscares, I would say Natsuki when she snaps her neck. (DID I SAY THERE'S SPOILERS HERE?)

I would say Monika. I always try too hard for attention :3

Look most familiar?? First of all, im a dude. *LOOKING AT MALE VER DDLC CAST* ok, its either Sayori or Monika. Can't decide tbh.

I used my first name BOI. GOTTA HAVE THE FULL IMMERSION.

10/10. Despite the warnings everytime you open the game and at the game page, I never took it to consideration. Sayori's death really took me by surprise.

Sayori maybe? MC's texts during that part was deep. If deleting Monika is considered a death, I would say thats the most saddest one. Monika realised the mistakes she made and she regretted them. But it was too late as she was slowly getting deleted. On a side note: I didnt delete her in the end, her conversations were very interesting. My sister forced me to delete her tho :/

(Lets keep the next few questions short, Im trying to get some sleep 😪) Sayori: I like that she's optimistic. But she's too sensitive i'd say.

Short girls are cute. Manga IS literature. DONE.

I like that she's shy and all but im not very fond of the idea of playing with knifes. DONE.

SHE IS BEST GIRL. SHE IS THE ONLY CHARACTER THAT FEELS REAL. SHE DESERVES A ROUTE. SHE IS A GODDESS SEND FROM THE HEAVENS. SHE THICC BOI, FIGHT ME. (I should have been a little more serious😅 There is more reasons at Question 29.)

Monika's poem. DONE.

NOPE, IM A HYPROCRITE. TRIED ONCE, FAILED BADLY.

I would if I COULD ACTUALLY FINISH READING MY BOOKS FOR ONCE. *glares at the full collection of Harry Potter at the corner of the room*

Pretty often. Not enough to fix my spelling tho.

Once. The English Club at school. Pretty boring.

Like I said before, im a dude. Soo yea, MC is my only option.

Yuri. For obvious reasons.

There isnt a character that I "want" to be a guy but i'd say Sayori looks fine as both genders.

I havent seen any fanart of Monika as an animal yet. So, Monika then.

If Monika had a route I would totally pick that one. Since she doesnt, i would pick Natsuki's.

Probably Stephen King

They did such an amazing indie game last year. Can't wait for the next one.

Yuri i guess. My yandere mode becomes active sometimes :3

Actually I have. Not the best experience.

(Skip this one if you want to. It's veryyy long.WARNING, It's about to get serious) I actually sat through a good 50+ minutes talking with Monika.In that time, she tells me how every time I quit the game, she feels like she's "dying", and enters a "living Hell" full of static screaming, flashing and darkness, and despite the fact that she feels as if her mind is disjointed in this space, she's still aware enough to remember it all every time we come back. There's also the fact she's fully aware all of her "friends" are simply mindless programs lacking free-will whose sole purpose in existence is falling in love with the player.I quit and loaded up the game a few times, and she asks you multiple times to please not put her through that torment, but eventually just says she'll have to relent that you can't always have the game open.Then I kept going, and got Sayori to tell me how she's super appreciative that I took the time to get to know them all and help them with their problems (however little I actually did), and that they all loved me. Credits are rolling, and I notice that the CG's aren't being deleted, until the very ending where the entirety of the Main Menu is deleted.I fucking broke Monika's heart and she subjected herself to living in an eternal near-death hellish blackness, and still the last thing she does for me is sing me a song about how much she loves me and wishes I'd been able to love her back. Deleting her causes her pain, but she was still conscious of everything and in control of the game files. Quitting puts her in a near-death state filled with suffering.I know it's only an AR game and none of it's real, but I'm literally sitting here with tears in my eyes because no matter what you do, Monika is doomed to an existence of agony, and the last thing she believes is that we probably hated her.I can't handle that shit, man, I didn't need to know. Couldn't you even let us believe there was some solace?

The game broke me psychologically and left me traumatized for 3 days.Sayori's arc made me feel sick to my stomach and sad, Yuri's arc scared me, and Monika's arc broke my heart and made me sad again.What part of psychology makes depressing horror enjoyable? Why did I love and enjoy a game that hurts? Maybe because the characters are so real and I've grown attached to them? I don't know. Either way I love DDLC, the community, and the fan content, but I don't know why. I guess it's because the main grip of the game is the 4 girls themselves, you grow so attached to them that it feels like your losing close friends. Making characters in any video game likable is hard but this game is an example of it done right, adding along with the story makes DDLC truly an experience.( finally, im done. I need a rest rn before I have a mental breakdown)