#(I do like to think that it's a bit more complex than simply turning a good person evil or an evil person good)

[saetoru]

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩ IN YOUR ARMS (I’M WARMEST) — GETO SUGURU.

contents. it’s a bit of a prequel to this drabble about the shower scene, but can be read as a stand alone, post hidden inventory arc, depressed suguru :(, small spoon suguru bc he deserves to be held, reverse comfort, established relationships, healing suguru agenda !! i’m passionate about this agenda !!!!!!!

usually, instead of you sneaking into suguru’s room, it’s the other way around. usually, he slips under your sheets and curls around your body, your combined giggles seeping into the sheets as he sneaks in a few hours of sleep with you in his arms before he inevitably has to leave before he’s caught.

tonight is different, though—suguru hasn’t come to your room to sleep with you in more than a few days. you don’t even think he even sleeps anymore, if the dark circles under his eyes are of any hint.

so you do the only thing you can think of: sneak into his room.

“hey, are you asleep?” you poke his shoulder—he’s had his back facing the door since you stepped in, and he’s made no move to face you.

“yes,” is all he says.

“wow,” you roll your eyes, “i’m risking a lot of wrath with yaga to be here, y’know. least you could do is face me.”

“you should sleep,” he mumbles, “you have a mission tomorrow.”

“it’ll be easy,” you say wave off, “i’ll be back before lunch time. we can eat together,” you offer.

suguru has hardly been eating—you notice this instantly. if you’d just get one chance to sit and have a meal with him, you’d force a few bites into him, but it’s been a busy week. for all of you. you haven’t properly seen satoru in what feels like ages—the newest missions he’s been assigned have been much more complex, much more difficult for anyone else but him to handle.

he hasn’t known rest since that day.

suguru is alone more now, on missions and once he’s returned. the gap between him and everyone else feels like it gets wider and wider every day. he’s become more distant, in more ways than one.

“you shouldn’t say that. you never know what happens on a mission,” he says seriously. “be careful.”

the last part, barely, just barely, sounds like a plead.

you sigh, wrapping yourself around his back and pulling him against your chest, slipping a hand under his shirt and rubbing slow circles into his bare skin. he likes the feeling, it’s always soothed him.

“i’m always careful,” you murmur, “i’ll bring you soba on my way back. will you eat for me, sugu? just for me,” you pout theatrically.

suguru is always weak to your dramatics—it’s your appeal. he finds it cute, always gives you a chuckle as he caves and gives you exactly what you want.

this time, he doesn’t offer you so much as a hum.

“if i’m hungry,” he mumbles.

“baby,” you sigh, nose burying into his hair. the strands are slightly knotted—something that suguru never lets happen with his hair. “you need to start looking after yourself more. i’m getting worried about you.”

“you don’t need to worry about me,” he mutters, “you should go and sleep.”

deep down, you know he’s gently telling you to leave. suguru is asking you to leave—but you know if you leave, something might change. something irreversible. so you wrap your arms tighter around him, pull him closer as hold his body against yours.

“i always worry about you. and you should sleep too,” you say simply, “we can sleep together.”

he’s silent.

so you let him stay like that, rubbing over his abs slowly and tracing the skin, writing your name with the tip of your finger lightly so he knows he’s yours even when he acts like he’s alone. you press a kiss to his head, and because he’s still your suguru, he melts just the slightest bit against you.

progress.

“hey,” you whisper, chin resting on his shoulder. you watch his head turn slightly as he looks at you from the corner of his eyes.

“what?” he sighs.

“i’ll take care of you, so you don’t have to, okay?” you promise gently. if suguru can’t find it in him to look after himself, he doesn’t need to—not when you’re here. “we’ll start slow, yeah? tomorrow you’ll shower. and then i’ll feed you.”

“you don’t have to—”

“shh,” you hiss, reaching over to press a finger to his lips, “i’ll bring your favorite, and then i’ll feed you like the princess you are. it’ll be nice, trust me.”

“but—”

“i’ll even give you a kiss for every bite. how does that sound?”

he sighs, hand resting on top of yours as you stay rubbing circles into his skin.

“good,” he whispers, “sounds good.”

“i love you, baby,” you kiss his head again, “i’m sorry i haven’t been here all week.”

“it’s not your fault,” he insists, “it’s…it’s been busy for us all. i don’t mind—”

“i’ll make more time for you,” you say firmly, “i promise. okay?”

you’re not sure if you imagine it, but you think his exhale might be a little shaky. and then he nods against you, leaning back so his body is pressing into yours even further. you wrap your arms tighter around him and pull the sheets until they’re under his chin, making sure he’s covered all the way.

it’s cold in his room at night—you can’t always make it warmer, but you can try to share your heat.

“okay,” he says after a while, “i’ll shower tomorrow.”

“good,” you nod, “i’ll handle the rest. now get some sleep, yeah?”

he nods—but even as you slowly doze off, sleep doesn’t come to him. but it’s not so lonely to stay up tonight, and the bed doesn’t feel stiff under his back. his hand is still on top of yours, finger tracing lightly over your knuckles.

“i love you too,” he mumbles—you don’t hear it, but he still wants to say it.

it’s a start.

i should just write a progressive series of suguru slowly healing and then we can have teacher suguru bc imagine him writing on a chalkboard with chalk. yeah. it’s okay if you moan at the idea i did too. i won’t judge !!

[lasirenatarot]

What you need to hear right now.

/general messages, timeless/

🌟PAC READING🌟

Pick a perfume:

NOTE: some messages are quite specific, but might help someone who needs to hear them❤️ so keep that in mind, not everything will resonate for all, it is a general reading after all.

Pile 1:

Poison girl.

Cards that fell; 3 of pentacles, ace of pentacles, 4 of wands reversed. Gift, pleasure seekers cards from an oracle deck.

- I think you might loose a sum of money or you recently have lost some, another case may be that your financial situation might have not been the best recently and you kind of felt helpless? (Idk why im getting that). However, your financial situation has a huge potential for improvement as you may get a present (either an item or a sum of money from someone) which may ease your financial worries. This present may even help you enjoy your life more as you will not have the « weight » of worrying about the near future and how you’re gonna make ends meet.

- Another possible scenario instead of getting a gift may be getting a higher salary than anticipated which can help you make up for the recent times of struggle.

- be focused on whatever you are working on ( studies, job, sports etc.. ) DO NOT loose your focus, this may make you miss a big opportunity if you are not consistent. AND the opposite: if you continue on working, being consistent and putting in the effort you may receive better things/opportunities than you have even imagined. It all depends on you.

- for those who have recently met or have started having hopes of starting a relationship with a romantic interest: this person may not have the intetions of being in a serious relationship with you at this point of time. Be careful and seek your OWN best interest, not theirs.

Pile 2:

Baccarat rouge.

Cards: 10wands, 8wands, 5 wands reversed, judgement reversed.

- Sadly for this pile we are starting a bit negatively; you may have recently experienced a burnout or you are quite overworked due to having too much different stuff to do and take care of. What you need to know at this moment is that not everything is your responsibility: people’s actions, their poor life choices or how they live their life. You might be a person who (not exactly likes, but more of feels the need to help others at the expense of your own mental well being/emotions/mood even. You may simply just be used of being the “problem solver” & emotional trashbin for others) likes helping others, always be there for them and listen when they have struggles, but what you may not see is that by always being there for others u may create in them what I’ve read psychologists call “learned incompetence”. Basically by doing a task for someone (that was not yours to begin with) and letting them vent nonstop u’ve made them incompetent to deal with their own issues bc they may think you will always be there to fix it for them. Main message for this pile; prioritise yourself even if this means cutting ppl off because they drain you emotionally, not every person deserves explanation for how you decide to react to their behavior. Don’t be part of confrontations.

Extra message: beware of people who try to play “saints” in your life, such who have victim complex and always have a problem with everyone.

Everyone gets what they deserve in the end.

- After a tough emotional period your situation may quickly turn to positive and joyful. You may meet new friends.

Good luck🙏🏻

Pile 3:

Lost cherry.

- Very soon you might receive news you’ve been waiting for a long time. May be in a form of email/letter or a friend telling you. You may have felt like you’ve “lost yourself” a bit recently and after receiving these news you will definitely feel more at peace. Some may have been thru a breakup recently, you may finally start feeling better and more like yourself.

- you may meet a potential love interest soon or if you already have someone concrete in mind you communicate with (don’t be delulu having random crushes) you may actually begin a romantic relationship with them ( the energy I get is quite positive).

- you may need to follow “tradition” or already tried methods or consulting with a wise person if you need help with someting. (Or simply a tip)

Pile 4:

Hypnotic poison.

- You may reunite with an old friend soon. (Im particularly getting one you may know from school, but may not applicable for all)

- You may end or will end soon a chapter of your life in order to make space for better things to come.

- You may find understanding/help from someone you have not expected, while at the same time be dissapointed of someone you had trust in and expected to be there for you.

- No matter the circumstances try not to be too cocky and egoistical. You may currently be very motivated for success and have recently gained a lot of confidence due to something in your life. Keep yourself grounded and do not forget where you come from.

That was all from today’s PAC. I apologise for not including the name of the cards which fell for all the piles but I accidentally put them back in the deck and forgot to write them lol..Hope you enjoyed it tho!!

Photos are from pinterest; all credits to their respective owners.

Leave a comment/feedback if it resonated, share and follow for more.

- La Sirena💋

[rosesnbooks]

❤️Scorpio placements🖤

💋sun in scorpio: scorpio suns are complex and those with this placement vary a lot. i have no trouble figuring out someone's moon in scorpio but it gets a bit difficult when it comes to the sun. either way, they always have a strong presence and they don't go unnoticed. people tend to form strong opinions about them, whether good or bad. their aesthetics can be different, with some even leaning toward softer looks. the women can be really cheerful and soft, but persevering. the men tend to be more on the "man of few words" side while trying to upkeep a masculine demeanor. they tend to have a great memory and they form strong attachements with their loved ones. they can be either shy or outgoing, but one thing they have in common is that they remain a mystery to a certain degree. they are full of life and they are very curious, and intellectual. they are funny and they love humorous people too. they are interested in many things and they like direct people who are fun to be with. the toxic ones can be really mean and gossipy, while others can be attentive and interesting. they appreciate the beauty in small things in life but they also have high ambitions and aren't afraid to dream big. they are responsible and mature for their age (obviously not everyone but yeah). they are hidden romantics and they have a crush most of the time

💋moon in scorpio: sensitive people with lots of emotions they try to keep hidden. they are very careful who they open up to and people tend to drain their energy, or they simply get tired of keeping up appearances. they want to have people in their lives who make them feel safe and they want someone they can confide into. they try to be independent but they want to rely on others sometimes too. they crave to be understood but they also want to remain a mysterious persona. they also crave a lot of passion in their daily lives and romance. they need hobbies and people that make them feel alive. those who do not manage to find such things tend to become obsessive with love and..yk...because it can give them that high. nevertheless, they are very passionate and creative. they are intuitive and feel other people's emotions but their emotional intelligence depends on their personal growth and their ability to be open-minded. they are prepared to do whatever it takes for their loved ones. i have noticed that they can be hard on themselves and that they wish to be more detached because it seems less complicated. despite craving privacy, i think many of them like attention, especially from the right people. they are yearners at their core.

💋ascendant/rising sign in scorpio: these people seem intimidating at first. they could have a soft aesthetic and everything and still not be easily approachable because of their aura. and yet, people can't seem to stop gravitating toward them. they usually leave an impression even in the shortest of interactions and people want to know what's happening in their mind. they are a lot more sensitive than they look. when relaxed and confident, their demeanor can be hypnotizing and they can turn on their charm easily. i have noticed that they find a fashion style they like and stick to it religiously. many prefer darker colors or more neutral tones they can combine with similar shades. the textures can vary but I rarely see them in any flashing colors. their eyes have a specific depth to them and you feel like they're always out of your reach somehow. they are a bit shy with new people but once they relax they can be humorous and talkative. others may think that they flirt a lot more than they actually do, which can get annoying. i've noticed that they attract emotionally immature people and men who show signs of toxic masculinity. they really like music and their alone time. food is also important to them!

💋mercury in scorpio-these people may not be of too many words unless they feel comfortable with you and even then, they are not yappers (in my experience). they observe people to form strong impressions. they are not the biggest fans of confrontation because they know things could get out of hand, so if they decide to fight with you, you must have pressed all the wrong buttons; especially if you hurt someone they love. they are honest and they like to get straight to the point. they talk with passion regarding the things they like. many of them really like gossip and their tendency to form strong first impressions can be impulsive and incorrect at times, so they need to be a bit more open-minded and patient with people. they are true skeptics sometimes because they need to believe in something 100% before acknowledging it. they also like taboo/darker topics. they are interested in the human nature and value truth even when it is uncomfortable and painful. they know how to read between the lines and figure out the true meaning of someone's words, so they are not easily fooled. they are not interested in small talk, in fact it drains them. i think journaling is amazing for all signs, but scorpios could benefit from it especially. basically, any outlet that lets them express their emotions and creativity without shame or fear, is good for them. it can be hard to compromise with them sometimes, and they need to work on that.

💋venus in scorpio-they want partners they can trust wholeheartedly. they may get entangled in some affairs because of their passionate nature and a deep desire for love. when they find the right person for them, they are dedicated, loyal and borderline obsessed haha. their partner becomes a part of them. i've seen some people write that scorpios can cheat their partners if they meet someone who provides the passion that is otherwise lacking in their relationship. i think anyone can cheat, so i don't have the need to comment on that. they probably had some karmic relationships in their life that taught them, the hard way, the kind of partner that's actually good for them. they are not afraid of seeing their loved one's dark sides. in fact, that just brings them even closer because they feel like they got to know them properly and they feel less ashamed of their own darker characteristics. these people are really sensual and they make their partners feel desired and wanted. truly not for those with weaker hearts. once again, they can be stubborn so they need a patient partner with a strong character. they need someone who will be a safe haven for them; someone intuitive, kind, honest, responsible, and well-tempered. they want a healthy relationship, the kind that feels like true love. people who value their freedom and alone time a lottt are not the best match for them, as well as those who lack empathy and healthy communication. in regards to their style i think it is more varied than people may think. people always say that they are romantic but i think this depends on the rest of their chart althoough in general, they are.

💋mars in scorpio-these people are very intense. they can be stubborn and they dislike obeying authority. if they think they're right about things, they can find it difficult to consider other perspectives. they put their heart into everything they do and they dislike doing anything half-heartedly. once they lose interest in something, it is hard to get right back to it, which is why they tend to excel in things that interest them, while performing more on the average side on things that don't matter to them/make sense. they are strong-willed and no matter the obstacles and the dark periods in their life, they persevere and learn from every experience. i've written once that they tend to be either hypersexual or on the asexual spectrum, haven't noticed anything in between much (and i still stand by it). when they get angry they feel consumed by it, and the feeling can stay with them for a while. that can be really tiring. they want to resolve things immediately but they feel blinded by their emotions so they usually have to wait to cool off and think about things before giving a healthy response. they can say hurtful things and hold grudges for a long time. i feel like they are fully aware of all the darker aspects of their personality. they can be overly protective and possessive. but, their love is deep and strong, so people feel lucky to have them in their lives. people can depend on them and trust them with anything. they like taboo topics/darker topics and they are interested in spirituality; they even find comfort in it.

💋saturn in scorpio-i don't know anyone with this placement but i've heard a couple of things along the years. it is no secret that these people are afraid of intimacy and exploring their emotions. they are afraid of being too much and saying the wrong thing, which gets in the way of their personal and even professional life. they can be stubborn, secretive, and quick to judge. they are scared of relying on others so they deal with things alone. life has not treated them kindly and they underwent many transformations. they are strong individuals who can overcome any obstacles and they are very careful and observant. they don't rush into things and they are quite smart. their emotions and intuition provide a rich inner life and a big and loving heart that just needs to give people a chance more. they understand others because of everything they've been through and they can be someone's rock in difficult times. people naturally respect them and listen what they have to say attentively. i've read that they are often responsible with their finances and other reponsibilities. once they decide to work on themselves, a bright future awaits because they will realise their strength and invite wonderful people into their lives.

💋jupiter in scorpio-these people do anything their heart desires even when scared. they are careful, smart, passionate, and loving. they have most luck when they welcome change in their lives. that's when they grow as people and find many good things and people on the way. they use their intense emotions as a tool that guides them toward the truth, which is why they often make the right decisions and trust the right kind of people. they are magnetic and attractive. their wilpower is amazing and they have a great intuition. a lot of them are interested in spirituality and astrology. tarot may be something they are interested too. they have the ability to use their strengths for a good cause or for their selfish gains. this depends on them entirely. life can test them more than others which might seem unfair, which can lead someone toward a path of distrust and manipulation, or courage and honesty (and love, obviously). despite it all, some of them can be victims of manipulation (through media or the ones closest to them). people may learn what makes them tick and what they love and adapt accordingly, only to fulfil their malicious plans for them. i know someone with this placement who uses their intensity to get what they want and it can be morally troubling at times (e.g. using fear and power). they need to nourish their confidence and relationships with others in order to keep growing. nevertheless, they are interesting people you can't seem to forget

♡Thank you for reading dear! A little disclaimer: I am not a professional!♡

©rosesnbooks

[cozymoko]

Kamaboko boys reaction to, "I love you."

This includes: Tanjiro Kamado, Zenitsu Agatsuma, Inosuke Hashibira, Genya Shinazugawa

Pairing: All x Gender neutral reader

WARNING(S): none

HASHIRA VERSION KNY MASTERLIST

TANJIRO KAMADO

He smiled kindly, sneaking a peek at you through his dark, thick lashes. A field of unkempt sakura blooms blossomed along his round cheeks, tingeing them a faint pink. BA-THUMP! BA-THUMP! BA-THUMP! His heart cried out. Your words left him uneasy, embarrassed even, as they lightly tickled his chest. Despite his wishes, he could not speak for he was grinning far too wide to do so.

Training that evening proved to be quite the challenge for the young slayer as vivid pictures of you had obscured his mind, slowly but surely eating away at his concentration. Your words rang through his head like a silver bell, loud and persisting, furthering his desire to see you —touch you— He's getting red just thinking about it!

“T…Thank you for loving me. I really don't deserve you sometimes.” He whispered, leaning into your shoulder. “I love you too.” Tanjiro pressed a light kiss to your cheek, using his free hand to gently grip your unoccupied shoulder. A cheery laugh had escaped you at his chastity, nearly sending his heart into another frenzy. And to no one's surprise, you were enjoying every bit of it.

ZENITSU AGATSUMA

Oh my, you've made the poor thing faint. Stumbling over his words much like any other sweet adolescent. His fair skin held a warmth much like the sun, if not putting it to shame. Even with his lack of consciousness, that same lovesick grin had never fled his lips. Oh, and be a dear and close his mouth. We wouldn't want him to swallow any pesky flies, would we?

Upon his return from the land of dreams, Zenitsu was distraught. His body rested against the plush cushions of your futon with you seated by his side. He watches you gently rest a damp cloth on his burning skin, humming a feeble tune to occupy the silence. Zenitsu cleared his throat in hopes of "cooly" responding to your confession, but as you'd expect, he fails miserably.

“I-I love you too!!” He shouted, clasping your hands to his chest. “Wait, no — I love you more than anything!” You gently push him back towards the futon, tucking him beneath the sheets once more before lightly caressing his rosy cheeks. To him, words simply cannot convey his feelings for you. They are far too complex to describe. He's happy and he sure as hell wants you to know that.

INOSUKE HASHIBIRA

“Eh? The hell is that!?” Of course, he's confused, why wouldn't he be? Don't take it to heart, you expected this after all. (growing up in the wild does that to you.) Nonetheless, you can't help but feel a little bit annoyed by his statement. Just how clueless could he possibly be and why did you care about him so much? Two questions that you decided to indulge in another time.

Once you walked away, Insouke was quick to find Tanjiro and ask what this "love" thing was, seeing as you were so reluctant to tell him. At first, he finds it rather silly. Why do people use those words as a term of endearment anyways? He can just show you how much he cares! But with further convincing from Tanjiro, Inosuke shoves his inquiries to the side...for now.

“I ‘luove’ you, or whatever you said, too.” You gave him the most deadpan expression, using that moment to take in the immediate panic dancing across his gentle features. A snort slipped past your lips as you snaked your arms around his perfectly thin waist. At that point, you didn't know what you hated more, his obliviousness or his pretty face.

GENYA SHINAZUGAWA

“What...what'd you say?” He grimaced at the harshness of his tone as it was not his intention. He turned away from you, brushing his nose with the pad of his thumb in sheer hope of masking his embarrassment. But it didn't. You were able to spot the deep red creeping up the back of his neck to the tips of his ears. Scooting a bit closer to him, you rest your head on his back, rendering him stiff. But at that moment, you just didn't care.

Being as ill-mannered as he is, Genya hadn't expected anyone who didn't share the same blood to genuinely care for him. The boy has natural bitch repellent unbeaten in his DNA so surely even you are aware of the reasoning behind his insecurities. But, I suppose that makes him charming in a very questionable sense.

“You aren't too bad yourself...” which roughly translates to “I love you too so please don't take this the wrong way.” Genya needs as much love as he can get, though he refuses to admit it. As his partner you should go with your gut when dealing with him — if you think he needs comfort, a hug, then just do it — because at times, you seek to understand his emotions better than himself.

[scliffe]

I know most of us (including me) laughed (quite a lot) on this scene because; Earl Ciel “Sebastian-Kill-Them-All” Phantomhive of all people, is saying something like this about killing people? It sounds so fake and ridiculous right? Hypocritical, even. But I also think it’s rather empathetic of Ciel to say this in front of the Weston boys because he understands that these boys did not murder out of evil intent; it was a crime of passion, not premeditated. I’m sure that in Ciel’s eyes, these upperclassmen of his are still much more innocent than he is—and so when he speaks to them, he is speaking to “normal people”, not serial murderers. But while Ciel does not see the prefects as evil people, he doesn’t infantilize them either. He does not empathize with them trying to justify their actions; because things like school values or reputation is not a worthy cause for these boys to kill someone over. At the same time Ciel may not personally care about the lives of Derrick Arden and the others, but he does not think students should turn into murderers over such menial issues.

In comparison, when he speaks to Joker in BOC, he was unfiltered and candid—he’s speaking of something he personally believes; that deep cynicism and distrust in humanity. Unlike the Weston students, Joker’s actions were premeditated; he planned to kidnap children—knowing they would be abused and turned into some sick plaything before brutally murdered—and methodically eliminated witnesses to avoid getting caught. Joker knew exactly what he was doing when he organized these crimes to sacrifice others for his family’s lives. And yet the way Ciel spoke, he wasn’t passing judgement on Joker at all; he acutely understood the despair of facing injustice with no one lending a helping hand; the desperate wish to protect one’s family and loved ones above what’s considered to be morally correct by society; he knows better than anyone else how hell is paved with good intentions. This too, was incredibly empathetic in a strange way that only Ciel could be. Although Joker lamented their fate as abandoned orphans living in an apathetic society, Ciel does not pity them and thus did not simply reduce them to gullible victims of their circumstances. He did not justify Joker’s actions, and he did not justify his own actions in killing Joker and the circus crew either—he was incredibly self aware and fair; equally as ruthless to other people as with himself. He understood that everyone acted in their own interests. By removing complicated principles of morality out of the equation, he is able to see things clearly and act decisively without ridiculous notions of human morality. After all, what use does he have for it when his soul is already damned anyway?

Ciel keeps away from people and refrains from making personal attachments; and yet he is still very empathetic to each of them without even meaning to. In the flashbacks, he was also depicted to be a sensitive and kindhearted child. Despite everything he has gone through, he still retains a bit of that gentleness and sincerity from his childhood; which I think comes with being naturally emotionally intelligent—he has an unusually acute insight on people which certainly helps his business acumen, and ironically also helps him know how to lie and act in front of other people. While Sebastian is a “master of understanding human desires”, Ciel understands the complexity and most basic nature of humanity better than anyone else; which forms both his cynicism and his own brand of empathy.

[strawberryrafaxzd]

⋅˚₊‧ Oikawa Headcanons ⋅˚₊‧ Gn reader enjoy ⭑.ᐟ

✮Whenever Oikawa is with you, he lets his "tough guy" mask fall off. That's why, most of the time, you two tend to have calmer dates, deviating a bit from the usual, like picnics in parks, watching movies, and other things.

✮He likes to lie on your lap while you play with his hair. He complains about how he hates geniuses like his kohai Kageyama (ahhajaja lol) and other things that annoyed him. You just laugh at the cute and funny way he imitates them and give him a peck while his cheeks turn red and he kisses you back.

✮As silly as it may seem, he has some kind of shame about feeling this inferiority complex and hates showing that he feels insecure. The only person he feels safe to talk about this with is you, so be prepared to take his late-night calls and comfort him. Believe me, it will take hours for you to convince him that you are serious when you say he's an incredible player. Even if he thinks he will never measure up to the "geniuses," that's the biggest lie because he's already superior to them just by the effort he puts in "to reach their level."

✮Oikawa often gets "mad" and throws a tantrum because you refuse to go see him play and cheer for him because you're afraid that, one day, one of his crazy fans will throw a rock at your head out of jealousy (akhajajakakakak sorry, I had to write that). But it turns out he always convinces you to go by looking at you with his puppy eyes and that pout. No matter how hard you try, you always end up losing to your sweet boyfriend. But maybe it's not so bad to lose since, in the end, he will always be there thanking you for being the best girlfriend in the world, cheering for him while he showers you with kisses on your face.

✮When his family has special events, his mom always invites you. She definitely loves you, always saying how Toru finally found someone to straighten him out. The gatherings always end with you and his nephew doing his makeup and styling his hair with ribbons and braids. In the end, Oikawa always ends up toppling both of you over, tickling you until his mom sees the three of you sleeping on the floor hugging each other (she always smiles, sighs, and covers you with a blanket, saying,( "these young ones nowadays").

✮In that same vein, when Oikawa sees you and his nephew bonding and having fun, he thinks of one of his greatest dreams. Aside from his volleyball career, it's to marry you and have a family together. He definitely can't wait for that.

✮One of the dates you love the most is when Iwa joins you two. You always die laughing at their fights. You and Iwa get along very well. To be honest, when you buy or make sweets or any kind of food for Oikawa, you always make extra for (wa to eat too ;)

✮Omg, who is that person who isn't even from Seijou that is screaming nonstop in the Aoba Josai cheering section against Karasuno? Wait, the person just called Karasuno's number 9 an idiot.

(Stories say that when Aoba Josai lost, you cried more than the players themselves. Yes, you are Aoba Josai's biggest fan.)

✮One of the cutest things ever seen was you going to his school to deliver his glasses that he left at your game night on Friday and putting them on him, giving him a kiss in front of everyone during recess. By the way, he didn't use to wear glasses because he thought they looked ugly until one day he asked what you thought, and you said he looked "super hot" with glasses hehe (Matsun and Makki still wonder why

Oikawa suddenly decided to wear glasses every day and almost die when he forgets them).

✮Oikawa always wears the sweaters you wore and the ones you drew little stars on. When Iwa notices that he always wears sweaters with stars and a perfume that doesn't belong to him and asks why, he simply says, "it's my way of showing others that I belong to my angel."

Bônus ⊹˖ :

Iwa still has nightmares about the time when Oikawa had gone to Argentina and hadn't settled in yet. Only he knows what it was like to hear you crying out of longing when you went out to bars together after your video calls with Oikawa. At least now he can sleep well knowing that Oikawa is finally okay and has managed to take you to Argentina with him. Now it's Iwa who gets the video calls from the two of you😊🥹🥹

𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼 𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚

Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my native language I hope you enjoy it, it's the first time I've written headcannos so it definitely wouldn't have been that good, I hope you enjoyed it

[delfiore]

—ONE OF YOUR GIRLS.

pairing: lucy bronze x reader, (alexia putellas x reader)

synopsis: the only reason is simply because you are both heartbroken, lonely, and desperate.

word count: 1.9k

a/n: i gave myself a 1k word limit on this and i failed miserably. literally why is it so hard for me to write a 1k essay for school but not this

You started to learn Lucy’s routine only a few weeks after she started coming around. Like clockwork, it didn’t matter how late you went to bed, she would always be up before eight. Sometimes, it would be to go downstairs for a swim in the freezing cold outdoor pool in her apartment complex. “Helps me wake up and think clearer”, she would explain. Sometimes, it would just be to sit in the living room with a coffee in hand, watching videos of the team you and her would be playing later in the day. Other times—and it was always a treat when she did—it would be to stay in bed with you, and watch you wake up.

Those were the times in which you felt like what you had with Lucy resembled most like a relationship, due to the sheer amount of domesticity of it. The way she would take time out of the day to lay a few extra minutes with you made it feel concrete like what you were doing was worth the time. But that wasn’t the goal—a relationship.

“I forgot to bring my stuff last night,” you whispered, suddenly remembering the lack of gear you brought over to Lucy’s apartment. You had hastily stuffed the necessities into a crossbody bag when she texted.

“It’s alright. We can drive by later and pick it up on our way to training.”

“We’re gonna arrive together? What if people see?”

Everyone else at Barcelona didn’t know, of course, because you couldn’t even begin to explain what the fuck transpired between you two. It was no relationship, but it was no ordinary friendship either. A special kind of friendship, maybe, but not entirely the kind people would think of if you described it as such . . .

Lucy’s lips pursed, and she contemplated for a moment. After a few seconds, she turned towards the window, the morning sun washed white behind the milky blinds.

“I don’t really care, to be honest,” her chest rose quickly with an exhale. “Why have we got to explain ourselves to people anyway? Kinda tired of it.”

You knew she meant having to deal with the looks her ex would give her. She had been chasing after Keira, trying to make amends for a long time. You knew that, she told you everything.

It made you think about your own situation. You were still very much in love with your own ex, but Alexia has since moved on with a mutual friend, and your conversations were reduced to strictly work nowadays. The way she started treating you after the breakup wasn’t dissimilar to how an older teenager treats her younger, annoying little sibling; with avoidance and an overly sense of self-importance. It made you despise her ten times more than you already did, but you also yearned for her attention, because it was what you have aligned your life with for a while.

But you supposed you had a type—older women with avoidance issues—which was why you were here with Lucy.

“Keira asked me about you the other day,” you said on the car ride to the training ground. You sat in Lucy’s passenger seat. “She was wondering how you were doing. Said you never talk to her anymore.”

Lucy scoffed and turned back to you. “Can we talk about something else?”

“Like what?”

“Like how you actually look so fit in my shirt.”

You let the snort escape your nose but leaned towards her in the passenger seat. “It’s literally a plain black T-shirt, Luce.”

“‘Xactly,” Her cheeks creased with a grin. “Makes me almost want to fancy you.”

“Almost.”

“Almost,” Lucy said.

Almost.

You and Lucy have always had a friendship filled with banter. Heart-to-hearts rarely happened—maybe before and after important matches, or international ones in which one of you had to be the loser—but you appreciated her easygoing nature and how it has shaped your relationship.

If you were a bit closer in age, if you weren’t already with Alexia, and she with Keira at the same time, you reckoned you would have gone for her. You’d always found her attractive.

“You’re too young for me, Y/N,” Lucy had told you once.

“I’m just saying,” you had put your hands up. “If you’re ever desperate enough, I could be like one of your girls.”

Lucy only laughed. Perhaps desperate was the wrong word to use. Lucy Bronze could never get that desperate so as to seek you out for company. No, everything would have to be on her terms.

You agreed with her, though. A nine-year age gap might have been a bit too much, but Lucy wasn’t just like any other 32-year-old.

But you were in love with Alexia. You still were, and your coupling with Lucy might have just been a ploy to piss her off, but your captain didn’t need to know that. Just seeing the not-so-subtle looks she sends your way whenever you are too touchy with Lucy was enough to satiate your grudge.

It seemed the joke wasn’t merely a joke, not to Lucy, because one night, she called you. You had never seen Lucy cry, at least not in person, and she was the type of person to let people see her cry only for her profession, never something in her personal life.

Every joke on your tongue died the moment you saw her blotchy, red face at your front door.

“I didn’t know who else to call.”

Really?

She could have called anyone on the team and they would happily offer her comfort. That was the charisma that Lucy wielded, and you were willing to bet there were other members of the team who were much better than you at comforting someone.

“I think I’m just unlovable.”

You led her inside and offered her a glass of water. I think I’m just unlovable. Her words echoed in your mind as you scrambled to find any words that would be comforting to her at that moment. How do you convince someone that they weren’t their flaws when you yourself struggled with the same insecurities? If Lucy even had those doubts about herself, how could you ever get out of it?

“I think I’m unlovable too.”

You didn’t know whether that was comforting or just rubbing salt in her wound, but Lucy exhaled shakily, for the first time looking at you in a way unlike that of teammates, or even friends.

Unlike a friend would, you lifted your hand and wiped away the tear on her cheek with the pad of your thumb, and unlike a friend would, you leaned in and kissed her slowly.

Kissing Lucy was exhilarating. She was eager and rough, and soft and gentle. It made you almost want to fall in love with her. She was tired, so you climbed on her lap and led the way, and all her burdens faded into oblivion, at least for the night.

When you both arrived at training, only a few of your teammates were there in the locker room, and most of them didn’t seem to notice you coming in together anyway. Pina, though, found you across the room.

“Did you hear?” She said quietly.

“What?”

“Alexia has been with the physios since like 9 this morning.”

“Why? What happened?” You tried not to sound too eager, or worried.

“I don’t know, but I walked past and I think she was crying.”

When you came into the rehab center, a physio greeted you with a smile. You returned it as your eyes quickly found the only person lying down on a bed, hiding her face in the crook of her arm.

“Hey, capitana,” you said in Spanish. “You sleep here last night or something?”

You saw the way her jaw ticked, and looking down, noticed the bandages wrapped around her knee, the ACL one.

“You didn’t happen to bring any coffee in, did you?” She said groggily. “I could use a sip.”

“No coffee, sorry. I’m trying to wean myself off of it.”

“You said that a thousand times before.”

You put your hands in your pockets and leaned against the bed. “What’s wrong?”

She let out a sigh and removed her arm. “They’re making me sit out Saturday’s game. They’re scared I might mess something up.”

You nodded, because you understood exactly why. Another ACL problem would be detrimental to her career in ways that you didn’t want to think about. “It’s better to be sure,” you shrugged.

“I’ve fucked my knee, Y/N,” Alexia said, inhaling shakily. “That’s what it is.”

You couldn’t imagine having to live with the anxiety, tiptoeing around your own knees, afraid it might give out any second again. Even the smallest discomfort could spell trouble, and the slightest movement could trigger the injury to worsen.

You opted not tell Lucy about your conversation with Alexia, because you wanted to keep it to yourself. As useless as that might be, that was the first genuine conversation you’ve had with your ex in about a year. You’ve learned not to take it to heart, though, because you knew you’d disappoint yourself when Alexia eventually goes back to treating you like a kid.

You made a conscious effort not to think about her when you called Lucy over for a hookup, but when she was knuckles-deep inside you, you couldn’t think of anything else but the pleasure.

Laying back and staring at the ceiling, you drew deep breaths as you came down from your high.

“You okay?” Lucy asked.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Hold me?”

She smiled and gathered you in her arms before kissing you sweetly. “Did something happen with Alexia?”

“No.” Nothing happened, really, but maybe it was because nothing happened that made you so distraught. “Maybe in another universe, where you’re not you and I’m not me, I would take you on a date tomorrow, maybe we’d be happier.”

“Well, why won’t you do it in this universe?”

You shrugged and settled back against her chest. “Because I’m me and you’re you. But mostly, because I am me.”

Lucy didn’t answer. She knew as much as anyone that once you’ve made your mind up, there was no swaying it, and that she didn’t have the energy in her to either. Instead, she leaned down and planted a sweet kiss on your forehead, wishing you’d find it in you somewhere to see yourself the way she sees you.

It would take some time until then, though, as only a few weeks later, she saw you hand-in-hand with Alexia coming to practice. Apparently, Alexia’s girlfriend was no more and you got what you wanted. It was okay, though, because Lucy found comfort in Ona, about to go on a second date with her the next day. You might have almost gotten the love you’d always desired with her, but it was just that, an almost.

[clairedaring]

if you're hoping for joe 2.0 to get his 'revenge' in the second half of the series...

warning: mild novel spoilers (but also not really because i'm just discussing things that have been shown in the trailer)

i really think you should either drop the series or give up the hopes of a satisfying makjang revenge storyline in my stand-in instead of setting yourself up for disappointment. because that simply isn't the story that my stand-in is trying to tell.

so what is my stand-in about really?

well, for me i think its a romance tragicomedy drama about an idiotic scum male lead losing the person he loves most because of his own arrogance and refusal to listen to his heart and the series of unfortunate events that happened consequently for our protagonist who was living a peaceful and quiet life as a stunt actor before the scum male lead entered his life.

joe 2.0 and his approach to life

i've mentioned it twice now that one of my favorite traits of joe/zhou xiang is that kindness in his strength where even if he can be choose to be mean or cruel, he simply doesn't because he has such a soft heart and he's weak to see others in pain (joe is my fellow enfp people pleaser okay) (⁠っ⁠˘̩⁠╭⁠╮⁠˘̩⁠)⁠っ which is why even in his 2.0 life, you won't get to see joe turning 180 degree and going around to hurt everyone who's ever hurt him like it's some makjang kdrama.

and while that seems like it could be fun, i think the reason why i loved professional body double (my stand-in novel) so much in the first place is because that very distinction between joe and other rebirth/second chance at life protagonists that you often see in revenge kdramas/cdramas/thai lakorns.

logically, if my stand-in was a 24-episode one31 lakorn/thai soap opera, joe would be full of hatred and burning rage after his rebirth and started his intricated revenge plot while still falling in love with ming whom he should hate the most.

and yet he isn't (or at least it seems to me so far).

if you read the lyrics 'Die For You' - the opening ost of my stand-in, i think you can have a good guess of what the second half of the story will be like.

Even running away to death can't help. If my heart had chosen to stop at you I'll have to surrender with the confusion I feel. To come back to the same old place. Even if I have to die, disappear and then be reborn But the love is still buried deep inside, even if it's been shattered into pieces Even if my life ends, I can't stop my heart from calling out to you Because this whole body, life, spirit It is yours only, for all eternity.

and even from the trailer of my stand-in, you can tell that joe 2.0 has a lot of internal conflicting feelings about whether he could trust ming again after the betrayal he faced in his 1.0 life. and i feel like essentially the journey of ming proving to joe 2.0 that he really does love joe is very much the central plot in the second half part of the story.

so i'd like to take this part to note how well the series has done to adapt the novel so far. i think a good adapted change they've made is this early realization of feelings for ming in the joe 1.0 timeline. i do think the novel made him realized his feelings a little bit later but my stand-in did well to show within ep.3 what happiness could have looked like for joe 1.0 and ming and i think it rationalizes a bit more more for why joe 2.0 would still have feelings for ming 'buried deep inside' even when he's been badly hurt the first time around. and reading the story i've always found it interesting that they took this route to focus on the re-entangled complex relationship between mingjoe rather than going for a joe-centric revenge makjang plot (i swear if this was your typical thai lakorn, joe would seduce ming while planning to take down his whole family or something).

of course, that's not to dismiss that there's a lot of character growth for joe in the second half of the story, especially in his building of self-confidence, self-worth, the ability to put himself first and the fight for his own happiness above all. but like i've mentioned above, his growth journey is not at the expense of a drastic personality change in regards to the kind hearted joe we saw in his 1.0 life. instead, we get kind hearted joe 2.0 who quickly adapts to his new life and attempts to start anew while conflicted feelings resurface for him as he is pulled back into the relationships he once had.

all in all, my stand-in is still at the heart of it, a love story. perhaps, a dark romance as my friend @dragonsandphoenix would call it, but a romance nonetheless. i think that is what also makes professional body double such a compelling read too, because the progression in the feelings and complex emotions of these characters are so tightly written that it's convincing enough for me (maybe not for others though) to believe that yan ming xiu has/will always love zhou xiang (to the point ymx would probably eliminate anyone else who dared to steal zx from him). obsessive love? yes. do they both need therapy? probably. yet i still believe in their happy ending? of course.

final note/disclaimer: then again, this is just my PERSONAL opinions based on the novel and up til 3 episodes of my stand-in (which seems to be very faithful to the novel so far), who knows maybe they can anger novel fans and adapt it completely differently later on (something i sure hope they don't but we'll seeeee) ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ

[patchworkcuddlebug]

The Doll In My Brain

Allison wakes up, feeling well rested. She's still in the doll's uniform, a simple yet elegant maid outfit, as she finds herself politely sat at the edge of her bed. It's perfectly made, and the rest of her room looks immaculately tidied as well.

She stands and stretches her body as her grogginess slowly fades, and as the first part of her morning routine, checks the whiteboard on her desk. "This one has finished our chores earlier than expected, Miss." it writes in a handwriting much better than hers. "It has decided to spend the rest of the night still, to rest our body. It hopes that is acceptable."

Allison grabs the nearby marker, erasing the message with the wipe that the doll so graciously provided. "Thanks again for all your hard work! I feel great this morning. You're a very good doll."

Wishing her doll nothing but satisfaction, Allison begins to change into something much more befitting of a person. Once it tried asking the doll to select outfits for her as part of its nightly routine, but the poor thing doesn't seem to understand fashion all too well if it isn't playing a game of dress-up.

. . . . .

Allison inspects the cucumber closely. She's already collected everything on her list, and is now filling out the doll's list. It took the poor thing a while to build the courage to ask for food, and she wants to do her best to make it happy. She just isn't sure what counts as a "good cucumber" or not.

It's been a conversation in the past. Dolls aren't really supposed to feel hunger, they usually just subsist on tea and magic and the will of their witch. But while constrained to her body, her doll feels the need to care for it as it would a witch, and that includes preparing meals for her. While Allison usually makes herself something best described as "sufficiently caloric", her doll enjoys the act of service too much to simply fuel her rather than nourish her.

"Excuse me, do you work here?"

Allison turns to see an older man, supporting himself on the handle of his cart. She looks down and notices she's wearing a colour a bit too similar to the employee's apron. He continues before she can speak up, asking "I'm having trouble finding the instant mashed potatoes."

He turns and leaves, packets in hand.

Allison blinks, looking around. She's in a completely different aisle. She shakes her head, trying to free herself from the remnants of her haze of docile obedience. Nobody's looking at her, so it seems like the doll didn't do anything a person shouldn't do. It even remembered not to leave her... their? Purse in the cart that time. What a good doll, she thinks to herself, promising to add an extra thank-you to the whiteboard.

. . . . .

Allison sighs as she places her second, and last, grocery bag on the kitchen counter. It wasn't unmanageable, but lugging the food up to her complex's top floor never got easier. Maybe once the temperature wasn't such an issue, she could leave it in her car and ask the doll to fetch it for her... but that would require her body to venture outside, with the doll's uniform and mannerisms. Even under the cover of night, the idea was mortifying.

As she unpacks, her train of thought continues. She wonders if the doll feels the same way about her, if it ever finds itself concerned with how she acts in its body. She's sure it couldn't mind, she couldn't imagine a doll that would dare. Well, now she just hopes the poor thing doesn't feel to bad about borrowing her body...

She's been standing in the kitchen for a while, borrowing the doll's stillness. The food has been put away some time ago.

Regardless, Allison feels the need to check. Sure enough, everything is filed away with an almost mechanical consistence, including the canned soup being alphabetized.

Thank you, doll, she thinks to herself, just in case it can hear her. Part of her laments not doing the work herself, but she cuts herself off before getting caught in the weeds of defining what constitutes 'herself' considering the circumstances.

As a habit, having regained control, she checks the doll's chore list. As reliable as it is, it can forget to keep track of chores it does when it's 'off the clock' during the day. She crosses off "Organizing" and shuffles to the couch, eager to relax.

. . . . .

Allison slowly drifts awake. She looks down at the floor, past the doll's outfit, and sees tea spilled on the kitchen's tile. She quickly figures that she must have passed out on the couch... and that her doll must have felt so emotional about spilling its drink it had to take a break. She can still feel the anxiety in her body, the seizing of muscles and the hastened breathing.

The first thing she does is retreat into her room, grabbing a marker and sticky note. Returning to the scene, she places it on the cabinet just next to the spill, somewhere the doll would surely see it. "It's okay, don't feel bad!" she writes. "It was just a mistake, everyone makes them. I'm more than happy to help out."

There, only now can she risk starting to clean. She places the unharmed mug on the counter, getting on her knees to wipe the spill with a nearby rag. It isn't long before that familiar fade starts to threaten to overtake her, the soothing repetition of her task lulling her to sleep and coaxing the doll back into place.

Her last act for the night, with what willpower her personality had the presence to muster, was to smile as bright as she could. Hopefully, when the doll came back, it would be just a little happier.

[n0tamused]

Albedo Headcanons

A/n: Since I don't have much to post rn, I decided to go back to some of my old headcanons that I didn't publish and expand on them. These ones are all the way back from 2022 even, but I'm still happy with my portrayal of Albedo lol. Hope you all enjoy them too! I did work on these a little more, but I didn't take in consideration all the new events with Albedo after 2022. Keep that in mind.

Contents: General platonic and romantic headcanons, Albedo x GN!Reader, fluff, dash of angst if you squint really hard, self indulgent, possible grammar mistakes

General headcanons:

- Albedo is not a person who really indulges much, or at all, in friendships and relationships. He can understand the appeal, but he simply does not care as much as an average individual. He has his work to get to and his research to keep going, and the continuously taxing process of keeping relationships in general are tiring for him

- He prefers his solitude much more than any other company. He may not be in love with people much, but he is in love with the trees, the branches, the snow falling and the frozen lakes of Dragonspine - every new day means a new love for him, and he cannot wait to do his homework on anything and everything, even things he understands fully now. One thing you can equate this love of his to is the snow of Dragonspine itself, countless snowflakes hugging the lands, buried deep in crevices and cracks, trying to get to the center of the world.

- Since he has researched so much, even the smallest of new discoveries are very exciting for him, it’s those small joys that show his inner being through the smile that lights his eyes and makes the corners of them crinkle.

- Due to his drawn back nature, and his origins, he isn't so well met with emotions, so those are one of his many interests and curiosities.  He is well mannered, he knows how to maneuver a situation, but when he looks back at it, he can't help but feel distant and confused - why did they get so excited over such a small thing? Why did she blush so easily? Why did that boy get so scared by some wind? Why did he find himself observing the contours of someone’s face when he didn’t know them? Why did he wish to sketch them?..etc 

- He doesn't think he feels sorrow/regret like the others, he isn't like the others that much is certain. Sometimes when he is alone in some comfortable space he will just stare somewhere and wonder.... how would have he turned out if he just...felt more.. What does true happiness without limitations feel like? What is freedom? Does it come without regrets? In those moments he understands what sadness is. All these thoughts make him feel so heavy, his chest is heavy and tight and his heart feels lonely. At times he thinks what would happen if one of his close co workers were to suffer an injury or quit their work for greener pastures, the field of alchemy certainly wasn’t any easy one for everyone. He knows he’d miss their presence.

- There are many more complex questions that plague him late at nights, only to shrug them off like a coat in the morning in favor of his Alchemist coat 

- This all being said, getting close to him is more on the difficult side. Unless you are willing to pull a little more work than him and frequently check in, he simply wouldn't know how to act. He does his best where he sees he can, though. He isn’t emotionless, just a bit clueless.

 - He would gladly help you, and guide you in the field of Alchemy in case you are curious about it, although he would much rather point you in the direction of a "starter mentor" first, before he offers himself as a mentor. It's not that he's underestimating you, but he feels as if giving you a good, solid start with a teacher of an "average" Alchemist would be a much easier way into the field of alchemy. In a way, you could say he’s underestimating himself in handing you the knowledge he has in a way you’ll understand. 

- Klee is one person he feels most close to. Sucrose is a capable lady, smart and close to Albedo, but Klee is someone who simply touches Albedo's heart in more ways than one. He wishes to keep her close and protect her, she feels familiar to him and gives him more sense of grounding to this world even if the responsibility of taking care of her wasn’t something he initially took on by choice

- That being mentioned he definitely has great patience with her, and slowly, even if she is not really able to understand, she is teaching him to feel

Romantic:

- Everyone knows the great Alchemist is also a great artist - everyone who has gazed upon his works would say so with 100 percent certainty paired with a couple more flattering words. Yet Albedo would shrug those compliments off and politely counter their words; a simple thank you does it

- He does not really see much of sentiment in those pieces of artwork as much as he does in the art he did of you

- Those are his favorite pieces. He loves to capture every detail of you whenever he can - the way your nose scrunches, the way your brow quirks, the way you lay down after a long day, the way the wind blows through your hair, the way your hands are after having them soaked in water for too long or when they’re cold..

- He is still quite reluctant about initiating contact, especially the physical one due to his lack of proper experience on the topic. Most information he has was read from books or heard from his fellow Knights, but none worth mentioning or trying in practice in interactions with you

- So it takes much, much for him to warm up to the ideas, you will have to initiate things slowly, so he can warm up to those touches initiated by you as well but he does his own part in reciprocating and returning those small affections

- The best ways of bonding together is babysitting Klee honestly; drawing, searching nature for anything of interest..etc. So that being said his love languages are quality time, after that it would be acts of service and after that words of affirmation. 

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[obsessingoverthisandthat]

ANNABELL LEE

Is such a complex and lovely character, I can't. The difference between her thought process and Lenores thought process is beautiful and interesting-

She's a woman who very early in her life understood that she was not in a position of power, just by being a woman. That her life is controlled by a system everybody abides by that will never favor her. That she has to follow the rules of said system or even her family will cast her out as a mad woman, evident by the way they treat her anxiety/panic attacks. Nobody is safe. Nobody can be trusted. To keep safe is to follow the rules-

And the only way to get on top of anything, to gain even a smidge of control is to use the rules to you're advantage.

But this in turn demands of her to turn off care and empathy for others (which she is capable of btw. Annabell Lee is not just some unfeeling monster) Because factoring in how it would affect the other person, caring about another person is a risk factor to herself. And anyway, its not like anybody truly cares about her, right? Its not like there are people out there who would be willing to have empathy for her. They pretend, just as she does because it is polite. Some may even mean it on some level, but not truly. Not wholeheartedly. That's how she sees it.

She's on her own. Her true self is utterly and fully on her own.

Cue Lenore. Lenore started out just the same as any other person Annabell Lee could take advantage of. However, with one additional perk. She was a break. Annabell Lee didn't have to watch herself as closely, not maintain a facade as tightly as usual. Because she is talking to a mad woman. A woman diagnosed with hysteria, a woman shut in in the basement. She has no social power over Annabell Lee. Any accusations or similar can be explained away with her mental illness. So, with time she gets comfortable. Relaxes just a tiny bit. Lenore is pleasant company, sensible and quite smart to talk to.

She, on some level, understands Annabell Lee. And then. Then she cares.

And that is such an unfamiliar feeling. Such a dangerous sentiment. And ridiculous too, for why? Annabell is just taking advantage. Perhaps that's why Lenore is mad, for not quite understanding that. The social games and ladders.

And then the house burns down. And she grieves for a brief friend she had to leave, the first person who really cared.

And then Leo shows up.

Actually taking advantage of the rules, but in such a mad way, it is utterly baffling for her. It is the ultimate proof of care. Lenore cares for Annabell so deeply, it seems, she's willing to give away her life.

And she cracks. Because she desperately craves that. True companionship. True care. True love. And Lenore, wonderful, selfless Lenore, is willing to give her that. Does it with a smile and sacrifice.

So. The only sensible thing to do now. Is to make sure she keeps it. So, she cares back. So fiercely, she's willing to kill for Lenore. So fiercely, that Lenore becomes the only other real person in her life. The only other real person in the whole world.

It feels special. They are the only ones worth fighting for. They are a team, a unit. Annabell Lee truly cares for Lenore because Lenore will always truly care back. And that is worth more to her than a million other lives, that have never known true care even if it stood before them, waving.

Now, imagine the heartbreak when she understands, that Lenore is willing to truly care for others too. She never truly got the fact that Lenore wasn't all alone like her. That Lenore had a brother who truly cared and that Lenore became a madwoman because of said brothers death. She doesn't get it, that real connections do not require sacrifice. It is scary for Annabell that Lenore is willing to give up a lot for people, she perceives will simply not do so back.

Fact is Lenore was Annabells first and only friend. But Annabell is not the first and only friend of Lenores.

Fact is that Annabell thinks the only way to be safe and get ahead is to play by the set up rules. But Lenore doesn't see the sense in doing that if it harms her friends. Lenore would rather rip the system and rules apart than play by them. And that's always been the case.

Even if to Annabell, previously, it didn't look it. Even if Annabell thought they were the same.

And the most heart wrenching thing? Annabell will continue to act like she always has, because she values their relationship too much, values Lenore too much. Because that's how she keeps the things important to her, her life, her love, safe. And it will continue to drive Lenore away, because it requires sacrifice of people Lenore is fond of.

They will only get somewhere healthy when Annabell gains another friend and starts understanding Lenores point of view.

But Annabell is scared of that. It feels unsafe. She might become a madwoman.

So. We are at a cross point. Either Annabell Lee gives in or Annabell Lee loses Lenore.

Which. Fun. Is she gonna give in? Not without a fight, I imagine. It goes against everything she ever build up, against every rule of being she ever set for herself.

It is going to be difficult.

And there will be loss.

I'm so very excited to see it.

[annawayne]

Hi, Ann! Hope you're having a good day. I wanted to ask—why do you think some people refuse to acknowledge that the sins of other characters in Attack on Titan are no better or worse than Annie's? Why does she seem to get more hate compared to characters like Bertholdt, Reiner, or even Eren? Annie is one of the most hated characters, along with Gabi. Do you think this could be because she's a woman? Her personality is similar to Levi's in different circumstances, yet she gets criticized heavily. People even accuse her of manipulating or bullying Mikasa. What are your thoughts?

Hello!

Oh, thank you a lot for asking! (and sorry it took me a few days to answer it)

There are a lot of wonderful metas on this topic, but I would be glad to contribute a bit with my thoughts on it as well, and thank you for the ask!

Here, a small disclaimer at the beginning: I'll talk only about my personal thoughts, focusing primarily on my reflections on why this intense hate comes from that are not related to the basic "I just don't like her" - it's all valid, and it's absolutely fine not to like a particular character just because, and it's nothing to do with plain hate.

I think that one of the main issues of Annie's hatred is not even about Annie as a character, but, unfortunately, by the way her character arc is built. We see her at the very beginning, and she is still the second-line character, even if she's EXTREMELY important to the plot. So, back then, we had her screen time, and let's be honest, not as much as I personally would love to have, primarily because she's an incredibly beautiful, interesting character with her unique points of view on the world and, as turns out later, one of the most prominent roles in the story as a whole. Still, till her reveal as Female Titan, we have some scenes with her, we have some impacts on other characters (also significant, like for Eren and Armin, for example), and then, the Female Titan arc happens and... she disappears for a VERY long period of time from the show, appearing much, much later, firstly, in flashback like a glimpse, and only then, with her whole come back during the literal apocalypse. So when the time comes to give us her backstory - I won't lie, it feels rushed, and I think, Isayma has a very great sense of self-irony when he articulates it through Hitch's mouth: "Wait, what is it a sudden sharing of your story?", all while on the background the Colossals take a march. I honestly think that Isayma also understood that it's definitely not telling enough to sympathize with Annie's character when it's presented like this (for me, personally, it was enough and I just simply would love to have more, since Annie's past in Liberio is one of the most interesting topics for me), but on the other hand, he couldn't reveal her story earlier because it would hint at her comeback FAR too obviously.

So, one of the main points is this large gap in her presence and a bit rushed exploration of her character due to the lack of time because of the situation around the characters. For example, we have a very detailed dive into Reiner's character, and still, I also feel like there's much more to explore with his character and his psycho, and what we can even say about Annie, who doesn't have such detailed exploration but has the same difficult and complex past which is undeniably important to understand not only her as a character but also more about the universe of AoT?

The next thing that plays the role here is linked to the previous one - due to the massive gap in Annie's presence in the story, many people forget many things about her. Primarily, her emotions. I think it's one of the most overlooked things regarding her character and in AoT in general. The way we see her tears IN HER TITAN FORM when she fails to capture Eren? Her tears when she was crystallizing herself? Her eyes, full of fear, when she woke up before the whole Stohess thing? Her genuine surprise, which she tried immediately to dismiss when Armin called her a good person? Her smile when Eren complimented her on her skills, which was also deleted from the anime but remains in the manga?

Here, I need to highlight an essential thing: Annie's Titan is the only Titan that is capable of showing emotions.

If we look closely, everyone else has their emotions relatively very firm, like, for example, Bert's and Armin's Colossals, caged and restricted by bones; Reiner, it looks to me, is not only the shield for others, but he's a shield from himself, completely forced to be armored in everything he feels; Lara's Titan also seems like covered in pristine white chains, and it's also interesting since she was, let's say, the shifter with a twist; Pieck's Titan also has a very permanent expression, which is compensated by her incredible endurance, just like Porco's or Ymir's Jaws lack of emotions are compensated by their mobility; Eren's Titan has always this emotion of rage as if it's the only feeling he could have going into attack. Zeke's monkey is the only other Titan with emotions, which is also intriguing.

So, back to Annie, her Titan is emotional: her tears from the failed attempt to catch Eren; like she was genuinely shocked to see people under the rubble when she fought Eren, and he threw her towards the church, leading to its crashing; like she smiled when she saw Armin under the hood; how she returned to the last battle, and how she screams in her Titan form - I genuinely here a lot of "human" in this tune, something, she doesn't allow herself in her human form. And yet, people focus a lot on the infamous "yo-yo" thing, on her battle with Levi's squad and other people, where, ironically, she attacks only when she has a direct threat to her identity or capture. If we look closely, Annie avoids fighting humans as much as possible till she's attacked directly - she runs, she screams, she tries to show off people not to touch her, and when it comes to the "fight or to lose" (which is also a remarkable parallel to Eren's character), she attacks, not to mention the obvious question - how else you act at war? Yes, back then, it wasn't something we could call like that specifically, yet she had a military mission, which, by the way, she was failing for several reasons, primarily because she's not so cold-blooded as her character is often reduced to. So, how else was she supposed to act? We don't see a lot of the same questions, for example, for Armin, who came to her hometown and blew up the port with many more casualties among civilians.

In AoT, everyone has sins. Everyone, with no exception, but Annie sometimes seems to carry the hate as if she's the typical antagonist that is supposed to be hated just because the genre demands (she's not even an antagonist either).

To sum up, Annie's character is simply very misunderstood. She's one of the most interesting characters in AoT, and I say it not because she's my fav, but primarily - she's my fav because she's much more complex than some people see her, starting from her mindset and views of the world to her development, which shows how unlovable, unwanted flower that was denied to bloom, grows through the cement and concrete, firstly, with the spikes not to let anyone close because she knows how it's to be hurt, and then, that uses these spikes, this strength to protect others and eventually leaving them be on the cold floor, and she - growing more and more into buyoant garden.

Her hands aren't without blood, and so are the others who have the same invisible tint on their skin, and yet, the same hands that only knew destruction and cold touch could also be soft and build something new, something much more powerful than her Titans kicks.

When Hitch asks her if she would do all the same, Annie says - yes, but I see it as only the mirror of Levi's "living with no regrets." Objectively speaking, Annie understands that it's impossible to turn the time back, and living among these endless what-ifs doesn't give any change - it's gone and cemented in history as it is. All these potential questions of "what would you do" are more of a mental trick to whitewash the ego. Annie doesn't do it - she understands that nothing of it was something to be proud of, and she never was, and at the same time, she doesn't know anything else. To do something differently from what point exactly? From her crystallization? Not to reveal herself earlier? Not to give Armin a chance to live twice? Not to go into the mission? Force Reiner to return? Not to listen to her father? Not to be born?

Where exactly could this point change something?

Annie doesn't lie to herself, and she doesn't look back with abstract thoughts of "How would it be," but when the time comes to actually take another action, she does it; she returns to the final battle before it becomes another "what if."

And it says more than anything else.

Annie is an honest character, primarily with herself, and she doesn't want to pretend to be better than she is. This makes her character much more human than some people try to make her look.

So, that's it!

It was quite a long read, and thank you everyone who reached this point, I appreciate your time on this!

Thank you a lot for asking, and have a good *timezone*!

[yourlocaldcbitxh]

Gotham Headcannons: If you work for the GCPD (cop or other not specified)

~~

He cares

A lot

But tries to play it off like he doesn’t and that he completely trusts you

(He doesn’t)

The type of guy to try and weave his way into your conversations and try a figure out information

Goes on your laptop and phone so don’t leave those out if you have confidential info

Will accuse you of spying like 2 times a week with his whole dramatic hand wavy thingy

Give him little tidbits of information that are not important and he will trust you more

He lives for the office drama

Especially if Gordon is involved

All in all why would you do this to yourself

4/10 being generous

Pre-Riddler

Leaves you riddles and cupcakes on your desk because he gets into work before you

Will stop by once or twice a day to say hi and chat

Lunch together is a mandatory and it’s great

You usually eat down in his office as the other employees tease him for being able to find a partner

Simply stroke his ego a bit and he’ll be fine

Will totally ramble about his work and let you do the same if you want

Great talker and listener

9/10 cause he’s a little awkward but it’s ok

Post-Riddler

Manipulation is a word that comes to mind

He will, without fail, attempt to get you to spill information about how the GCPD is doing on catching him

You usually tell him cause it’s not confidential

That’s a gateway to more questions though so be careful

Your relationship will be a lot better if you knew him pre-riddler but he still loves you even if he didn’t

When he’s in his “Penguins bitch” phase he so saunters into the office and leans against your desk

Be warned though other officers hate you for dating him

4/10 in general he’s good but why are you dating a cop killer?

A true neutral

Doesn’t give a shit to be honest

He’s an assassin not a spy so he won’t pry for info except when it comes for him (wants to know about Alvarez)

You indulge him with the gossip and he eats it all up

Sassy queen will protect your name if anyone makes a comment about you being a cop

He may not like the system but you’ve showed him that even cops have a good side

He finds it ironic

No one knows you’re dating obviously because that’s a line neither of you will cross

Especially due to his line of work

All in all a pretty normal relationship 8/10

He is so happy to have someone who is a cop like him

That doesn’t stop him from being worried as shit about you

Totally that guy who’s like “oh a really dangerous case? I’ll take it” and then proceeds to double check your work without asking

Talk some sense into him please

His hero complex needs to be brought down a notch

You are capable and he knows that he just worries

After all like everyone he ever dated turned somewhat insane

So

Watch out for that

Harvey teases you guys and does that “if you hurt my brother I’ll kill you” stuff

Don’t be scared of him he’s fine

ANYWAY

Don’t bring up penguin

Ever

He will become a whiny bitch and no one wants that

All in like 6/10 cause he’s a workaholic and a mansplainer

He thinks it hot

You and a gun put together makes him feel things

But he totally puts on that “I only date dainty women so fuck off” the first time so smack some sense into him as well

Unlike Jim trusts you more with his job than himself

Will ask you to double check his cases if he feels a little off about it

He worries though

He hasn’t had great relationship success because of his personality so if you like brash Irish men this is your guy

You actually help him stop drinking it’s wonderful

He still does on a hard case but not as much as he used to

7/10 he’s great if you’re into him

Little Miss Barbie has a little temper Tantrum but that’s ok

You can’t blame her, her ex made her go insane and he was a cop

Ensure her that you’re nothing like him and maybe feed her a little info and yall are fine again

The type of person to call you at work and ask how you’re doing and if you can get out early so you guys can hang out

You usually say yes because dumping cases in Gordon is so fun

Plus you think he likes it so it’s no biggy

Tell Barbara you make his life a living hell and she will marry you right then and there

Don’t go to her club during her business meetings though that’s a mess no one wants to

All in all like a 6/10 cause of her mood swings but you can deal with that

Unhappy little man

Will either use you for information or kill you

But

If you somehow manage to weasel your way into his heart with your loving personality

He begins not to give a shit

Or pretends

He care and he doesn’t like it

And may kill you at a moment notice

But for now you’re good

2/10 you’re probably dead or being used

Again literally nothing on him he hates cops and bombed the entire city

Death is the most likely outcome

Or manipulation for information

More like that Ecco will kill your first rather than Jeremiah

1/10 dead probably or close to it

[rosiesgambit]

Streuner || michael kaiser/reader

summary; if anything, you were persistent. kaiser didn’t understand why you insisted on lounging around him, but there certainly wasn’t anything he could feasibly do against it. you found it cute. he reminded you of a stray dog, really.

tags; sfw, psychological, character study, reader is about as mentally stable and nice as kaiser, mentions of kaiser’s past

author’s note; every day I am reminded that kaiser’s favourite animal is a stray dog, and i think that says everything about him.

this is also a prequel fic to “Wie schön, dass du geboren bist” and there will be more fragmented stories I will sort into a timeline as i go on!

“You are a dog.”

“What?”

If his head has snapped around any quicker, surely he would have broken his neck. His eyes narrowed, anger bubbling from deep inside him, the grip on the book he was reading tightening.

You didn’t even look up from your phone. The words left your lips as casual as a bated breath, like the one he was holding in right now. His entire body was tense, beating with something so visceral from deep inside him he couldn’t place it.

“Isn’t that what you are doing right now? Looking for an answer?”, you nodded your head into the direction of the countless psychology books he was ingesting on the daily basis, “What you are I mean. Or whatever messed you up. You want an answer.”

You remained eerily calm. It was almost nonchalant, the way you spoke, as a shiver ran down Kaiser’s spine. His body screamed at him to find some small nook to squeeze and hide in. He lunged forward, grabbing you by the collar as he nearly pushed you out of the open window. Despite that, you remained calm. Collected. A frustratingly unyielding gaze.

He towered over you like this, the only thing preventing you from falling the hand clutching into the fabric of your jacket. His eyes were blinded by rage, hiding anything beyond that deep inside.

“Do you feel better now?”, you asked, your gaze never leaving his.

And that was somehow the worst part. You sounded genuine. You didn’t even flinch at him.

He could have killed you right now. He could have simply let you go, yet, there was… something, behind your gaze.

Trust.

You looked up at him, with unwavering trust as your life dangled between his fingers.

His shoulders slumped. He moved back and let go, allowing you to sit properly inside again, smoothing out your shirt, like nothing happened.

Suddenly, Kaiser felt very small. The silence was deafening, beyond the calm crinkling sound of your shirt that you concerned yourself with.

“You are like a street dog yknow?”, You continued as you turned your gaze back to him. He didn’t return your gaze, “You don’t even know why you bite the hand that loves you.”

You drew your knees closer, resting your head on them as you analysed Kaiser’s form, mere inches away from you. He looked small.

“You can deal with a hand that hurts, because you know how to. You can’t deal with a hand that doesn’t, because you don’t know how to.”

He was sure if he opened his mouth now, only a pathetic gurgle would leave his lips. Instead, he bit down, hard enough to draw blood. The pain calmed him. It gave him something to focus on.

“Anyway”, you said, standing up, gaze fixated on his table, picking up a book,”you are not going to find it in “Das Ich und das Es” from Siegmund Freud you know? Had that guy in high school extensively. He is kind of full of shit.”

If he wasn’t so focused on adverting your eyes, looking away so you couldn’t see his face, the way it was scrunching up so pathetically, so weakly, he would have retorted with something snarky, something arrogant about how you simply couldn’t understand something as complex as Freud. But the fear in his chest told him you did. Far better than him.

“It’s getting kind of late so I am going to back to my dorm now, but good hang out Michi.”

The nickname rolled of your tongue as if the two of you were old friends.

“Hang out?”, he echoed, his confusion enough to overpower the quiver in his voice.

“Well we are friends of course, aren’t we?”, you retorted, turning around, your hand already on the door handle, “Sleep well Michi.”

Only when the door closed and he was alone at last, the tension left his shoulders. His hands were shaking. He felt naked. Perceived. It made him uncomfortable. To be paid attention to to this degree… he wasn’t sure what to make of it. There was fear and anger in his heart.

When people looked at him, they looked at the role he was supposed to fill. Street trash. Star player. But when you looked at him, he didn’t know what role he filled in your eyes. And somehow that terrified him more, not knowing what part he was supposed to play. And it made him angry for even concerning himself with something as foolish like that in the first place.

Why-ever you always invited yourself over to his dorms, scrolling on your phone in silence while he read, he didn’t understand, but you didn’t disturb him… usually. You didn’t respond with anything when he had asked at the beginning either, and you didn’t even budge under threats.

He looked at his left hand, the one he had held onto your shirt with, the thorns of his tattoo raking around them. Even your heartbeat had been perfectly calm. How foolish must one person be? You couldn’t possibly trust him this much. That would be absolutely insane. You looked up at him as if he could never hurt a soul. It was absurd.

He took his blanket, and his ball, and curled up underneath his table. He fell asleep, clutching his ball, just like he had always done. The bed felt to daunting that night.

[lovingmayday]

You are completely enamored with Hobie Brown.

He was right across the lobby conversing with the others, throwing his head back. You could hear his unhinged laughs, loud enough to inconvenience anyone and everyone near him. His cheeks were tensed so high up he could barely keep his eyes open. You found it adorable. You found the man with his suit and mask adorned with spikes adorable. And you weren't doing much of an effort to keep it a secret, fixedly studying his each and every feature until you had him burned into the back of your mind.

His arm lands around his friend's shoulders, laughter dying down as he wipes tears from his eyes, messying his already smudged eyeliner. You notice the friend slightly wince and assume one of the spikes of Hobie's vest had poked him. You admired— adored the way he had treated everyone all the same. With the same warmth and affability that had you and many others question its unconditional authenticness. He hated consistency. His unpredictability made it difficult to trust him. But you did. Eventually.

You couldn't help the small upward motion of your lips making its way to your face. Despite being in the middle of a rather serious group debriefing. Your hand rises to cover your mouth, pretending to be deep in thought to hide the fact that you weren't paying attention.

Every aspect of his chaos connected like one big complex puzzle no one was ever meant to decipher. Nonetheless, you still tried. And you would have had the courage to finish it if it weren't for your fear of confronting him.

He had gained your reliance and you had gave him more than you had ever expected to.

You were spaced out — eyes still on him and still not listening to a word from your colleagues. Your cheeks were warm from simply staring at him. Imagine how hot it turned and how wide your eyes got when his gaze landed on yours. At the same time, your associate nudged your side.

"Y-Yes?" you manage to say, whipping your head to the group while trying to hide your flusterdness.

"What do you think? Do you want to go through with it?" he asks, slightly suspicious of your reaction. You look around the group, trying to get even the tiniest bit of context.

You gulp as you try to stutter out an answer. "Uhm, well.. It's kinda dangerous, isn't it? I mean, I-I'm sure we could find a safer..? solution...?" Your eyes expectantly studying the other's expressions for any indication of confusion, the fast thumps of your heartbeat getting quicker in suspense.

"A safer solution?.." the group head, an MJ variant, repeats slowly. "Thinking ahead and willing to take the necessary precautions to prevent the risks– I like it!" You let out a silent sigh of relief. "I'm glad you spoke up, [Name]. To be honest, I wasn't so sure either."

The frequency of your breath starts to normalize as your shoulders untense. Another one of your associates suggests to continue the meeting a different time and the majority agrees. As you start to wrap up the assembly, you felt the distracting want to rip away your focus from business once again. You just wanted to see what his handsome face looked like, you justified. As if you'd ever forget. Against your more reasonable half's better judgement, you give in and throw him a short glance. It would only be like 0.5 seconds. He wouldn't even notice, you justified once again.

Your face starts to heat up again when you eyes land on his — already looking at your direction. His friends seemed to have already left but you couldn't check to make sure, too frozen to look away. He was smirking to himself, leaning his elbows back against the railing on one of the many glass bridges in HQ. His grin widens when he sees you try to hide how flushed you were, forcing yourself to tear your gaze off him and nodding to whatever the conversation had arrived to.

It wasn't uncommon for Hobie to reciprocate your unintentional advances — he has done so more often than naught. Sometimes he'd take your stubbornness for banter and play along with you, then you'd find out when he'd make a confusing, out-of-place remark that leaves you absolutely flushed. He was so irrevocably infuriating.

"Thank you, everyone, for your input," MJ says, handing each of you smiles of gratitude. She expected the bunch to disperse but they didn't, you didn't either. "What do you expect me to say? Meeting adjourned?" She and a few others laugh as the awkwardness disappears. They leave.

You thanked her as well as you started to walk backwards — to be well on you way. But you feel yourself bump into someone, their hands on both your shoulders instantly before you had time to process who it was.

"You won't mind much if I steal her now, right?" A low and silvery voice asks — Hobie's voice. You've replayed it in your head far too many times to doubt it. You look up a bit to see him smirking down, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

"Hobie," MJ greets, her playful gaze flickering back and forth between you two. She raises both her hands in surrender, "She's all yours." She turns to take off.

He smirks and leans his head down beside yours, lips right by your ear. "I know."

[awh-bowie]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪21 things i’ve learned since becoming an adult

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ three years is not a terribly long time, but, i feel like regular metrics of time simply cannot be applied to girlhood and the transition to womanhood. my childhood felt like a single moment and being a teenager felt more like a century. but i digress, what have i learned in the three years since i became a legal adult?

୨୧ fostering meaningful friendships is far more important than any romantic relationship ୨୧

♡ the thing about romantic and physical relationships, especially when you’re young, is that they are not a reliable constant. all i can say about this is that close, trusted friends will benefit you better than any “situationship”.

୨୧ think of yourself like a plant, just a little bit more complex ୨୧

♡ what i mean by this is simple: if you feel awful for seemingly no reason, get some water, eat some fruit and go outside. more often than not, the mysterious specter making you sad is just yourself forgetting fundamental self-care!

୨୧ the best product for glowing skin is free! ୨୧

♡ drinking enough water is one of the easiest and most effective ways to maintain healthy skin. hydration helps flush out toxins, keeps your skin cells plump, and improves elasticity. scientifically speaking, staying hydrated supports your body’s natural detoxification processes!

୨୧ cry, cry, cry! ୨୧

♡ crying is a wonderful and natural way to release negative emotions, not something that is weak or embarrassing. we go into this life screaming and wailing, why stop now?

୨୧ invest in blue light glasses ୨୧

♡ blue light is the enemy of your eyes, especially looking at it in the dark. getting yellow-tinted glasses is a game changer, especially if you prefer low light! i never turn on my big light.

୨୧ you have boundaries, period. ୨୧

♡ there’s no such thing as not having boundaries. you can go through life without experiencing things you’d rather not experience again, these experiences create boundaries. if you genuinely can’t think of any boundaries, i suggest doing some journaling! here are some prompts i made for myself that really helped me.

୨୧ balance is good, but extremes aren’t evil ୨୧

♡ it’s okay to indulge, to be hedonistic! as long as you’re honoring yourself and the people in your life, go crazy every once and a while. that’s what life is about, diving into the things you love.

୨୧ use lighter concealer under your eyes ୨୧

♡ a lighter shade of concealer under your eyes helps brighten your face and hide dark circles!

୨୧ diet affects your skin and hair ୨୧

♡ proper nutrition plays a critical role in skin and hair health. consuming foods rich in vitamins and antioxidants, like fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins, can help prevent acne, improve hair growth, and promote a radiant complexion. see my post here to learn more ;3

୨୧ no one is looking at you, seriously, it’s biological ୨୧

♡ let me get a little sciency here. humans tend to overestimate how much people actually notice us, and this is something called the spotlight effect. it happens because our brains are wired to be super focused on ourselves, making us think everyone else is just as tuned in to us as we are. spoiler alert: they’re not. studies have shown that people pay way less attention to you than you think. realizing this is so freeing because once you know that your little slip-ups or bad hair days go unnoticed, you can start living with a lot less self-consciousness. embrace the freedom—no one is watching as closely as you imagine.

୨୧ independence isn’t loneliness ୨୧

♡ being independent doesn't mean you can’t ask for help or rely on others. sometimes the strongest thing you can do is reach out for support when you need it. true independence comes from knowing when to lean on others and when to stand on your own!

୨୧ dedicate time in your day to unplug ୨୧

♡ taking regular breaks from technology allows your brain to rest and recharge. studies indicate that unplugging can improve focus, reduce stress, and enhance well-being. scheduling time each day for a digital detox is beneficial for your mental health and productivity.

୨୧ you don’t have to justify the things you love ୨୧

♡ “i know it’s dumb but i really love [media] because it has my favorite actor in it!” STOP!! if you find yourself preemptively insulting your interest or explaining why you like it, stop and think. ask yourself what about the situation made you feel like you needed to do that.

୨୧ it’s okay to outgrow things ୨୧

♡ i wish i could stay a kid forever, but being an adult is kinda sick. drifting away from people, hobbies, media, etc… is a natural, unavoidable part of growing.

୨୧ it’s okay to not outgrow things ୨୧

♡ that being said, there’s nothing wrong with hanging onto the things that make you happy! if something you have from when you were a kid still brings joy to your life, it would be silly to give outgrowing it another thought. the fact that it still brings you joy means it cannot be outgrown.

୨୧ vitamin C for bright and even skin ୨୧

♡ vitamin C is a powerhouse for your skin!! it helps brighten your complexion, fade dark spots, and even out your skin tone by reducing melanin production. dermatologists recommend incorporating a vitamin C serum into your skincare routine to fight off free radicals and promote collagen production.

୨୧ being “busy” doesn’t equal being productive ୨୧

♡ it’s easy to confuse busyness with productivity. but being constantly busy doesn't mean you're getting more done. true productivity is about working smarter, not harder, and taking time to rest when needed.

୨୧ taking breaks IS productive ୨୧

♡ like i said, taking time to rest is key. studies show that regular breaks throughout the day, especially short ones, can improve concentration, reduce mental fatigue, and enhance performance!

୨୧ cold water rinse for shiny hair ୨୧

♡ a cold water rinse at the end of your shower can help seal your hair cuticles, resulting in shinier, smoother hair. cold water also helps reduce frizz and preserve hair’s natural oils.

୨୧ celebrate every victory ୨୧

♡ no win is too small! celebrating your successes, big or small, reinforces positive habits and boosts motivation. you deserve it, every day you exist is a victory in the eyes of others. according to psychologists, taking the time to acknowledge achievements can increase your sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

୨୧ they say “trust your gut” for a reason! ୨୧

♡ your gut feeling, also known as intuition, is your brain’s way of quickly processing information based on past experiences and instincts. neuroscientists have found that gut instincts often come from subconscious pattern recognition, and trusting them can lead to better decision-making in situations where logic might not offer clear answers.

-Beau