#(I THINK THAT. KIERAN IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE ONES WHO ARE GONNA BE AFFECTED MOST BADLY BY IT .) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yellowkitkieran · 9 months ago

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Boyfriend (Kieran Tierney)

Masterlist

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary: You and Kieran are on different pages regarding your situationship, which leaves both of you broken hearted.

Hunting for your trousers in a man's bedroom should heart your cheeks with shame. This is relatively normal for you now though, having hooked up with Kieran more times than you can count- and only twice having been invited to stay ren'night in the guest bedroom.

“They're here,” Kieran says and tosses a pair of jeans your way. “Can you pass me my kit bag? Thanks.”

Kieran rushing out after sex has become commonplace. It stings a little less each time, though it has yet to fully fade. Your phone chimes, and you pick it up to see a message from a dating app, confirming the time for your impromptu dinner later tonight.

“Who's that?” Kieran says, tossing shirts from his closet to his bed. He doesn't bother to fold them because he isn't concerned with wrinkles.

“Just some guy I've got a date with.” You keep your eyes on your phone and your voice even. This is new- up until now, you've remained fixated on Kieran. You only downloaded the app with the hope that it would kick Kieran's arse into high gear and prompt him to finally ask you out.

“Sorry, did you say date?” Kieran blinks and turns towards you when you nod. “With who? Why?”

“Some bloke I met on an app- why do you care?”

“Because I don't want anyone else touching you, that's why. You aren't supposed to be dating anyone.”

That sets you off. You purse your lips, vision tinting red. Who does he think he is? you've provided him with countless chances and he has squandered each and every one of them. “You aren't my boyfriend. Why does it matter if I go on a date with someone else?”

With all the patience of a parent speaking to an unruly child, Kieran pinches the bridge of his nose. “Because…” Each word comes loose like pulling teeth. “Because-”

“Because what Kieran?! Spit it out!” You're tired of waiting. For a date, for affection, for a finished sentence. You deserve to be put first for once, not cast aside like an out of date toy.

“Because I don't want you to be with anyone else! Alright? There- are you happy?”

“Well for fucks sake Kieran! Do something about it then!” You're on your feet now, pacing the length of the room. There is far too much energy bundled up inside of you. Kieran's confession has spurred you into a frenzy and awoken the storm that has been brewing for weeks.

Kieran shakes his head and continues stuffing things in his bag. “I'm not doing this right now. I have a plane to catch.”

How can he be so indifferent? The Kieran you know has a soft, tender heart. Now it is as if his is made of stone, the organ sitting solid and impenetrable in his chest. Doesn't he care? Doesn't this eat at him the same way it has eaten at you?

“I just don't want to think about this when I'm going to be in Scotland for a while-”

“Where you'll probably spend the next two weeks snogging other women and letting them grind their arses on you in clubs.” The words are poison tipped, turning his own jealousy back onto the man himself. “Lord knows you won't be loyal, you'll neck the first bird who smiles at you.”

“I haven't so much as looked at another woman in months,” Kieran snaps. He stands at his full height now, his muscular frame filling your vision. You hold your ground, glaring up into his chocolate brown eyes that currently lack the sparkle you've grown to enjoy. Now they are filled with ire instead of affection and you are disturbed to discover how much that hurts you.

“Liar. You're a liar Kieran Tierney, last week there were rumors, I saw-”

“There's always gonna be rumors! We could be married and there would still be rumors about some model or influencer or someone that has paid tabloids to say they saw us together!” Kieran runs a hand through his hair. His laugh carries no humor, “and I know you can't handle it, which is why I agreed to things being casual!”

“Oh, you know I can't handle it, do you?” Tears prick your eyes as tears threaten to spill down your cheeks. You refuse to give Kieran the satisfaction of seeing how deeply he's wounded you. “You always assume. You assume I want to see you, assume I can't handle pressure, assume I'd rather be nothing more than fuck buddies, someone you can call in the middle of the night after a loss. But you know what? I'm done, Kieran. I'm done.”

“Just like that then? You're walking away from me?” Kieran tips his head back and the laugh that spills from him is not one you recognize. You aren't sure if it's pain, or maybe disbelief. You can scarcely believe it yourself; five minutes ago you were ready to cancel a date on his behalf. Now, you wouldn't dream of something like that ever again.

You grab your coat off his bed and sling it over your shoulders. “Yep, just like that. Last chance Kieran.”

“Just get out,” Kieran half growls. His back is already to you, which is just one more reason for you to go. Against your will, your feet remain rooted to the spot- you don't want to leave. What you want is for Kieran to fight for you, or maybe beg for forgiveness. You know in your heart that you haven't imagined the spark between you. That one night he took you out for a drink, there had been a genuine connection. You know that if he would get his head straight, he would recognize it.

But you value yourself too highly to remain in a situation where there is no progress. For months you've entertained this situationship in hopes that one day soon Kieran might wisen up and ask you on a proper date. But he hasn't, and someone else has come along to beat him to the punch, and now is when he chooses to be salty about it.

As your feet carry you along the path you've walked dozens of times, you catalog the details of Kieran's home. The gallery wall containing photos of his favorite memories and people. A framed kit from his Arsenal debut. The bowl of apples on the kitchen island that will no doubt spoil before they're consumed. All of it, every detail down to the neatly placed shoes near the front door, is distinctly Kieran.

An ache settles in your limbs. The weight of it threatens to crack bone. Somewhere deep in the house, you swear you can hear Kieran sigh. Probably with relief, thankful that you're finally out of his hair for good.

At the last second, you take the slip of paper out of your pocket. It's no more than a discarded piece of scrap, but you hunt for a pen and write three words before you can think better of it. It's the truth- no sooner than the words are written do you feel the ache start to ease slightly. You fold the paper in fourths and slide it into the pocket of his coat, knowing full well that he never wears it anyway. But at least you've put it into the universe, and your secret no longer lives solely inside your soul.

You do not look back as you leave. Once the door locks behind you, you only pray that Kieran washes that coat before he discovers the paper.

I love you. Three words, so simple to write, yet impossible to speak. Three words Kieran will never hear you say. Because now that you've gone, you'll never come back.

#kieran tierney #kieran tierney fanfic #kieran tierney imagine #kieran tierney fic #kieran tierney fanfiction #kieran tierney x reader #kieran tierney oneshot #arsenal fc #jac writes #forbidden fruit

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mermaidsirennikita · 2 years ago

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How’d you like the succession episode? the tomshiv content has me dyingg

It was really good! This season has been so strong thus far, I'm really happy with how things are progressing. Tom/Shiv was so good in that episode, and I think it just.... really beautifully underlines why these two got together and what has been keeping them apart.

Thoughts:

--I find it bizarre that people think Tom acknowledging (I don't wanna say admitting, because he's known, and I think Shiv has known, and I think everyone has known) his desire for money and power means he doesn't love Shiv? Like, you can enjoy the benefits of a relationship and also feel genuine emotions about the relationship. Two things can exist at once. People are complex. This is one issue many viewers have with this show, imo. They expect all these plot twists and binary black and white answers when that's never been the point. The point is to tell a story about people with messed up relationships and senses of self, to tell it in an emotionally authentic way, and to get the nuances.

--Another thing: people! Learn about the childbearing body, Jesus! I've seen people say that Shiv must be miscarrying because she fell down a couple stairs, like women don't get into car accidents while pregnant without miscarrying... often. I've seen people say Shiv must be somehow aborting the baby by drinking and doing drugs when a) we never saw her do drugs, and even if she did, hate to break this to y'all, but babies are born addicted to drugs all the time, it often does not cause a miscarriage b) I'm not sure if she swallowed alcohol, but even if she did... You can take a couple sips without it affecting the fetus, lmao. Women go full term without realizing they were pregnant and drink throughout. Give birth to pretty healthy babies. It happens.

(There's also the fact that the American recommendation of "don't drink every when pregnant" isn't universally agreed upon by American doctors, let alone doctors across the globe... Like, don't go and get wasted if you're knocked up, people, but a sip or two ain't gonna expel your fetus.)

Then also! People think! Shiv! Had an abortion! Because Tom didn't notice her pregnancy when they had sex??? First off, Shiv is under 20 weeks pregnant with her first child. Every person carries differently (I've known people who just never look pregnant and go a full 40 weeks) but women often show later with first babies because their muscles haven't been "stretched" by pregnancy yet. Any weight she gained could just look like a random weight gain, and I think Tom was just... happy to be there. Also, it's been like. 48 hours since we saw her talking to the doctor about her amnio (which isn't something you do, typically, with an unwanted pregnancy--amnios hurt like a motherfucker). Amnios usually aren't done before 15 weeks; so Shiv would've had to get a second trimester abortion, which of course can be done, but is harder on the body than a medical abortion done prior to 10-12 weeks. She would likely not be up and at 'em super quickly, and she also would be bleeding profusely and probably physically unable to have sex, unless she just didn't take her pants off. Which, I guess could happen, but it seems UNLIKELY.

--Another stupid thing I want to address is people thinking Roman was getting off to his dad's voice because he like? Shifted in his seat? First off, if you think that's how Kieran would've played that, how interesting. Second, there is such a vast chasm between being into degradation and getting off on your father's voice... Like, to suggest this is honestly not only stupid but a bit wildly disrespectful to people with degradation kinks. Like, the way Roman pursues his kink can be unhealthy and wild, but wanting to be degraded is pretty common and even basic. It's normal. It's fine. You're not gonna make the leap from that to what people are suggesting.

Like, the general fan theory that Logan abused Roman sexually has no basis in anything we've seen onscreen, and just seems to be a part of this effort to be "one step ahead" of a show that lays a lot of its basic thesis out there. For example: it won't be shocking if the show ends with Kendall on top but totally soulless. The show has projected that ending from day one. But simply because it isn't shocking... doesn't mean it's bad? This show is not here to pull the rug out from under us.

--Going back to Shiv and Tom on that front--it's deeply unsurprising that Shiv is more into Tom now that he's not as available to her and even mildly degrades her. (All the Roy kids have a degradation thing on some level. Like, the "you're into degradation because you grew up being degraded by bad parents" take is a bit... again, basic, but it's not off.) And it's not surprising that this is activating for her now that her father is truly unreachable. Just as it's not surprising that Matsson is probably playing her, in part because she's especially vulnerable to affirmations and apparent trust from a man who really is one of the only people who seems like her father's business equal.

(Lol yet nobody is saying Shiv wants to fuck her dad, so.)

(Also, I think what the show was saying, aside from just "Roman is not doing well and misses his father deeply" was that Roman's perception of what paternal affection is warped, but not in a sexual way. The only relationship he had with his father, who he loved, was an emotionally and physically abusive one. So naturally, hearing abusive language hurled at him from his father is comforting, in the way listening to a loving voicemail from a dead parent might be to someone who had a normal relationship with said parent.)

--Speaking of, Roman is doing real bad, but unless Jeremy does something wild in the last few eps (which lmao, he might) I think this is Kieran's year. Which is so deserved. He's breaking my fucking heart. Just collapsing, and reverting, as makes sense for someone with Roman's state of arrested development, to the guy we saw in the early episodes of the show.

--I find it funny that people think Kendall bombed when he in fact got what he wanted? Like, yeah, the Living+ thing is kind of absurd (sounds... kinda sick tho) and the presentation was so typically Kendall in the vagueness and the bro-isms, but that's the point. He doesn't need to tell these people a straightforward truth. He isn't persuading geniuses. He's conning his fellow mindnumbingly rich people who have more money than they know what to do with, and these people are NOT any better or more discerning than you or more. Maybe less so. Watching that presentation and going "he said a lot of nothing but he said it in a cool way" is the take. He won by being able to do that.

He was also high as balls and on the point of a mental break, buuuut that'll come later. And he might still take this thing, lol. But that is NOT GOOD.

--Karl is King.

#succession

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calico-strawberry · 2 years ago

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4, 7, 12, 18, 23, 35, 41, 48 and 50 for Anya and Erin?

Oh boy that's a lot this is gonna be a very long post

4- who initiates affection? Why does the other not initiate affection as much?

Anya initiates usually! She's very affectionate when she's comfortable enough to do so, usually with hand holding or hugs. Erin just simply isn't as outwardly affectionate, but she's usually happy to accept it.

7- how often do they say I love you?

Not super frequently around other people but they usually say it to each other when going to sleep for the night, so I guess frequently enough

12- do they have a difficult time when separated from each other, or are they fairly independent?

Both are fairly independent. Anya does just start to miss Erin when they're not together (granted that's not unique to their romance Anya starts to miss her friends a lot in general with extended time away), but otherwise both manage very well separate from one another.

18- how do they care for each other when one of them is wounded/sick?

Anya would very much just try her damnedest to help Erin get better, like figuring out medicine, first aid, or whatever. Though in the case if Erin somehow got actually injured Anya might be crying a little doing so.

Erin would also try to help Anya get better, but where Anya will constantly try and help and probably wear herself out, Erin does what's in her ability to help then just stays close to Anya to give her some comfort (well, with sickness maybe not directly next to her she'd probably want to avoid getting sick herself, but obviously the chances of Anya getting sick are incredibly slim or short lived).

23- what are the defining characteristics of their relationship?

Trust, communication, and comfort!

Anya needed that full, unwavering trust of Erin to even be willing to address her growing crush and feelings for her, thanks to her awful previous experiences with romance. And Erin of course being Demi-romantic needed that close bond for those romantic feelings to even come up in the first place. They trust one another fully, and have found ways to communicate each other's needs even through Anya's existing issues with communication. And the two just give so much comfort to one another, a feeling of safety and comfort.

35- is their relationship a secret? If so, why?

I'd say it is at first, mostly just because the two don't really want anyone bothering them about it when they have more serious things to think about. But they'd be fine being more openly in a relationship when things have calmed down more. Granted Erin's more reserved nature and Anya's more general shyness can sometimes make it look like they're not in a relationship at all.

41- what would they do if they lost the other?

I'm under the assumption this is meaning either dying or otherwise being permanently lost.

Anya would probably spiral into her already existing depression to losing someone she loved so much, and more importantly, failing yet again to being able to keep someone she loves safe, as she already has failed before. It would probably destroy her even more then the other times she's failed though, and may even cause her to give up if she's not given enough reason to stop dwelling on it.

Erin would probably just be so angry after feeling the grief of losing her. She'd likely direct her rage at revenge at whoever hurt someone she cared about, bonus points if it was somehow say, Vitus who did it. Erin probably wouldn't actively spiral into giving up like Anya might, but she'd probably get way more reckless (and tbf she'd probably have this sort of reaction to the other people in her life she cares a lot about)

48- do they talk about their future together? Why or why not?

Normally I don't think they would. There's so much uncertainties regarding their situation with Team Xen, Clear and Kieran, and Vitus and Angie that trying to think about what will happen if they succeed isn't super productive in the moment.

But, given my HC that Erin might have some issues with abandonment thanks to a lot of issues (especially with her, Alice, and Allen being yeeted into the unown dimension the second Erin showed a hint of being a problem to Vitus, and much much later with Souta just kinda fucking off without a word to her about it), I think she might end up asking Anya about what she'd do if they succeeded. Mostly brought up due to Melia saying how she thinks everyone will simply just go their own ways after they've won, Erin is, deep down, worried that Anya might just leave once she's done with her role as the Interceptor (uh ohs, mirroring Anya's own worries that she'd be discarded like a tool after everything is said and done too). Of course Anya just... Doesn't know what she's gonna do. She feels like really the only skill she has is battling, but while she does enjoy battling a lot, she's unsure if she'd be able to do anything of worth with those skills (she doesn't think she'd be capable enough to be an acting champion, despite the fact that she's probably more then capable of it). But Anya does end up leaving it at "whatever it is she does, she wants to be by Erin's side" which just really eases those worries Erin has.

50- would they ever break up?

Short answer not likely, not in any major way since Anya's personality and mindset kinda makes it where she simply couldn't ever end up going down the Renegade route.

But it is possible they might if Anya ends up wallowing in her depression and ends up a worse person of it, but again with that support system she has of friends it's unlikely to get so dire.

#that was a long one but i love the pairing so much #ty for the ask!!#oc: anya💙#oc x canon #pokemon Rejuvenation

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crimeronan · 4 years ago

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Can you explain the appeal of Julian Blackthorn? This is a genuine question because I read the books and came away utterly bored by him and unconvinced of his moral greyness as opposed to like, Adam Parrish’s. He seemed so one dimensional to me but I want to know if I’m Wrong TM considering I tend to be very very biased toward my favourite characters and bored by the rest, and my favourites were Mark and Kieran. So maybe I just didn’t pay him enough attention??

it’s been a while since i wrote any earnest tsc meta but cringe culture is dead and the chance to infodump about my julian thoughts has me vibrating where i’m sitting so. yes okay.

technical stuff

(aka: things pertaining to How The Story Is Constructed)

cassandra clare’s characterization has become much stronger just in general since she first began writing the series like twenty years ago

perhaps most importantly: the more recent stuff i’ve read from her has involved characters who actually grow, change, and learn from their past mistakes

rather than repeating the same stupid decisions over and over again

and over and over and over some more

seriously take a shot every time someone in tmi miscommunicates or self-destructs in ways They Have Learned Not To Do for no real reason. u will die of alcohol poisoning

in tda this shines ESPECIALLY with the evolution of mark, kieran, and cristina’s relationship, but that’s a separate post

clare’s trademark is also the angsty traumatized jerkass love interest with a secret heart of gold

the woman is almost singlehandedly responsible for draco in leather pants and the proliferation of this kind of character type in fandom and teen lit. this isn’t a criticism it’s me marveling at how if you commit hard enough to a single trope you truly can change the world. follow your dreams

sad jackass with a heart of gold isn’t an Inherently Problematic Character Type

but poorly done it can lead to relationship dynamics in which one partner is constantly being hurt by and then forgiving the other despite them making no real effort to change, because they are narratively absolved due to being sad

(there’s a lot of this with earlier jace content. in some ways i think will was later created specifically to be a same-archetype protagonist who actually does get called on his shit and grow. that’s also another post)

also if all of your sexy male love interests are tortured jackasses with a heart of gold then people start calling you a one-trick pony

enter julian blackthorn!

from the very start everything about him is designed to be the INVERSE of the heart of gold jackass. which immediately makes him interesting just from a meta perspective

(mark and kieran are also both alternate angles on this time-honored archetype. mark gets the heart of gold and kieran gets the jackass and then they’re both much more deeply messy than that. yet another post)

julian is kind, self-sacrificing, empathetic, artistic, emotionally supportive, responsible, and favored by old grannies everywhere

so a completely nonthreatening milquetoast guy, right

immediately forgettable if you’re only here for the dramatic conflicts and shithead antics of clare’s other protags

except that he is A Mess

and that he has structured his priorities very carefully, and they are as selfless as you expect from The Hero (TM) but they are also Not Heroic (TM) and they do not align with the moral framework The Hero (TM) is supposed to use

moral ambiguity in characters always exists in relation to their narratives imo. you mention adam parrish - trc’s narrative already mucks around in different ethical shades of gray, and adam falls on the canon scale about where julian does on his canon scale. both more willing than the average pov character to do the ruthless thing or make the fucked-up choice if the ends justify the means; both with an intensely strong sense of internal priorities that they adhere to at all costs, both so unbelievably fucking down for murder; etc

i do think there are ways julian’s choices could have been pushed even further, but considering the number of readers who hate his guts already, i can see why clare opted not to go for the most controversial possible conflicts

so we’re flipping the narrative

instead of seeing this angsty bad boy and peeling back the layers of his trauma to find his heart of gold, we’re seeing the put-together selfless family man and peeling back the layers of his Responsibility Mask to expose the rotting husk underneath

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

THAT IS FUN AS FUCK

then when julian DOES lash out in hurtful, uncontrolled ways, he has significantly more narrative justification for it than most of clare’s protagonists (will elaborate in characterization thoughts)

julian is also interesting as fuck because of how his struggles allow for a more in-depth look at the failings of shadowhunter society, something that’s also sorely lacking in clare’s earlier work

his apparent amorality is simply the result of him making pragmatic and impossible choices because he has been faced with fucked-up ethical dilemmas since age 12 Because Society Has Failed Him

which opens the door for narrative exploration of how and why he’s been failed so badly & what needs to change

i also love that he has such a coldly calculated way of analyzing situations and allowing harm to occur when need be, bc a lot of clare’s early protagonists have such a bad case of Rush In And Get Myself Killed Because I’ve Got Feelings About Impulsive Heroism syndrome that i wanna push them in front of a truck

probably there’s other meta narrative stuff i could say but i’m stopping myself and moving on to character analysis

characterization stuff

(aka: reasons why i’m also attached to him in a vacuum)

i don’t read him as one-dimensional at all tbh

u may feel the narrative pushes “ruthless julian blackthorn” too much without delivering enough actual ruthless julian But i don’t think that’s the same as having only one dimension

from the get-go, the big question centered on julian is always “how far are you willing to go?” and the narrative pushes the stakes slowly higher and higher to continuously test julian’s “the price is always justified” mindset

he has a far more layered and realistic response to trauma than clare’s early protagonists - trauma affects every single aspect of his personality and how he conducts himself, and the effects vary depending on the circumstances

his conviction that he has to be the perfect parent to his siblings because they will fall apart if they see him show weakness?? rooted in how he feels like he’s fallen apart since losing the stable adult support he once relied upon

his willingness to hurt semi-innocent people, commit coldblooded murder, manipulate people using political leverage, allow harm to befall any stranger if it protects his family?? rooted in how he has already had to ask himself how much he’s willing to sacrifice, and how his family is his only source of stability when the world has never done Shit for him

his conviction that he has a darker heart than anyone else because he killed his possessed father, even though intellectually he knows he was saving his brother’s life?? rooted in having no means of processing this trauma and being unable to voice his feelings for fear of backlash from a deeply non-understanding society

the way he represses every single negative emotion he ever has, to the point where emma - his actual literal magic soulmate who can feel his emotions - is startled to find him hurting or angry?? once again all about how he has to be the perfect father or he’s failed completely

the way his anger is so totally disproportionate to different situations and the way his negative emotions can only come out in completely uncontrolled breaks?? all that repression baybey. this kid has not processed a single bad feeling in five years. every single real grievance and petty annoyance has been festering indefinitely inside him like a slowly spreading infection

julian’s arc involves him needing to get thru being his worst self to actually start to heal

as in, he has to actually learn to acknowledge his feelings, take care of himself, lean on his family, and let other people take some responsibility

he also has to learn that in his quest to be the perfect emotionally controlled authority figure, he has not actually learned how to control or deal with his emotions. like. At Fucking All. good god

the narrative setup is also about asking “how far are you willing to go?” until the answer is finally “not this far. not this far”

and once he reaches that point, he has to reevaluate everything about how he weighs his priorities and morals and plans, etc

(i also like that emma has a perpendicular arc in which she’s always the one tempering julian and telling him “no we can’t go that far” until she’s willing to do something horrific that he absolutely won’t and HE has to stop HER. very sexy)

it’s also just really nice to have a character who’s learned to relate so well to literally every single member of his family while still having a very detached ruthless interior consciousness. i have similar feelings about how adam teaches himself to love people, but with julian it’s spelled out more explicitly in canon & it’s a more central character theme

i’m sure i’m also forgetting stuff here but this post is long enough so i’m gonna say good enough

and like i said in the tags on my other post, there are things i’d personally write differently if it were my story - plot points i’d shift, character contrasts i’d up, themes i’d explore differently, pacing i’d adjust, etc. i have plenty of ways i could be nitpicky and editorial about the effectiveness of julian’s arc. but i also don’t feel like writing them out at the moment & none of my critiques on effectiveness have an impact on the core appeal of his character 2 me. he’s so fucking good

#replies #tsc #tda #julian blackthorn #meta #long post #ungodly long post.#shadowhunters #Anonymous

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neon-junkie · 4 years ago

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Pls go off about abigail, she's def no where near micah but do it, I want my hatred for her validated

So, I’ve copied n pasted the last time I answered why I dont like abi, but I’m just gonna add even more points to it cause my hatred has become much larger since I last answered this xD

Okay. So Abigails qualities include: moaning, whining, complaining, doing the bare minimum around the camp, etc. Her good qualities are.... ??? like sis, what do you actually do here?

To start with she’s so unnecessarily dramatic. There’s a lot of really nice camp interactions where Abigail just ruins them by shouting and screaming over nothing. I know theres one with Hosea where he’s being so wholesome and pure, and then she just does a 180 and shouts at him and Arthur for... ??? She gaslights everything, always on the defensive and ready to attack anyone for looking in her direction. I find the interaction where she begs Arthur for money so cringe. Like, go out and get a job? The camp is more than happy to look after Jack whilst you’re out earning your own keep, but all you want to do is sit about and complain rather than doing what you can give your son a better life.

Like I just said, she openly regrets having Jack. Could you imagine how Jack would feel if he over-heard that? And tbf, I think Jack knows this because when we play as him in RDR1, he’s SO DEPRESSED. he’s openly suicidal and honest about how much he hates life. Abigail did an awful job of raising him, she doesn’t support anything he does, mocks him wanting to be a writer and enjoying his ‘silly stories.’ Like, no wonder he seems so timid and sad at the ages of 12 and 16. His teen years are miserable because his parents are dead-beats!!!!

Abigail says in that camp interaction that she gets no praise for being a mother... like duh... thats your job. I get its hard to raise a child on your own, but you’re barely raising him xD All Jack does is run around camp throwing rocks at Kieran!! She wants a kid, she got one, and then she instantly regrets it? I know John is no help but what you were expecting?? you had a kid with John Marston fgs... I understand that YES, John did run away for a year, but he more than makes up for it. Abigail’s the one who wants the ranch, specifically Beechers Hope, and John gets it. But then she changes her mind and tells John that he’s the one who wanted it? errrr wat? And she then pesters John to get a stable job, he does with Pronghorn Ranch, but she then tells him off for doing his job and defending the camp on those multiple occasions with that rival ranch. Was John just meant to sit by and let people die? let his job be taken from him? She would have complained if he did nothing too. Poor man cant win. He does everything she wants, he does everything for her, yet she barely shows him any kindness. Like when he gets Jack back, she doesnt even thank him!!! She just stares at him then runs off with Jack lol. She thanks everyone else though, just not him… Even in the first game, she’s just rude to our poor John. He goes through all this trouble to please her and she barely acknowledges him and his actions. But as soon as he does something bad, she wont shut up about it.

NOT TO MENTION THAT ABIGAIL HITS JOHN ON MULTIPLE OCCASSIONS. SHE LITERALLY BEATS HER HUSBAND. AND PEOPLE PRAISE HER FOR BEING A STRONG WOMAN???? ABUSE?? LOL???????

I also HATE those small cutscenes where John is trying to give her a bit of affection in bed, just a kiss or stroke of the hand, and she swats him away?? HE IS TRYING. and then she’ll continue to complain that John does nothing for her??? AHHHH. Ya know in the epilogue where John protects Jack from those guys who jump them? Yeah, John HAD to kill them, but he saves Jack, and all Abigail cares about is the fact that he’s killed men. ERR LADY, THEY WERE IN DANGER. Abigail is meant to be a GOOD person, but she doesn’t really show much goodness? As in, she doesn’t support her own husband who’s done EVERYTHING for it. He brought land, built a house, raised their boy, etcetc. His world revolves around her and probably wouldnt piss on him if he was on fire.

And in comparison to Micah, we know from the VERY start that Micah is a piece of SHIT. Micah is the devil amongst men but damn, he KNOWS hes a bad person and he’s very open about it. But Abigail? She’s meant to be a good character. She’s meant to be a loving mother and supportive wife but she literally fails at all of those basic, kind qualities. R* puts her on screen and goes ‘this is meant to be a good woman’ and from what I see, she definitely aint. But R* puts Micah on screen and goes ‘this is meant to be a bad man’ and from what I can see, he definitely is. We know from the very start that Micah is a villain and I love that, but Abigail is MEANT TO BE GOOD, but all her words and actions say otherwise. She really prides herself on being a good person but she’s so blind to her own abuse and hypocrisy. If R* presented her as a dead-beat mother and an abusive woman then I wouldn’t mind her as she knows she’s trash, but they don’t, and I don’t see how people can stan her and her actions?

I hope that makes sense?? idk how to word the part about micah v abigail, but hopefully it makes somewhat sense?!?!?! AKLSFJLKSDGLKSJ

also her hair ugly and her clothes boring. she wears the same outfit for like 985 years SIS GET CHANGED

#Anonymous #rdr rant #abigail rant #vent #i guess?

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porkchop-ao3 · 5 years ago

Text

A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 56)

Brandywine Drop

Arthur and reader have some much needed respite away from the crumbling gang. We also meet a familiar face! Warning for some animal death/hunting-ish.

Tagging @emily-strange ❤

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

We set up a campsite with Arthur's tent at Brandywine Drop, a short distance away from the huge waterfall and as far from the train tracks and trail as possible. We were set up under the cover of a patch of trees with a clearing big enough for us to set up a little fire. It was evening time once we were settled, with Rayna chewing on some wild carrots I'd pulled up for her, and Arthur heating up some cans by the fire for us. It was a little late to find something to hunt for meat so it'd be a light and bland supper, but it didn't matter. I played with Rayna's mane while she ate, listening to the peaceful sounds around me; it was a wonderful place. The constant shhh of the waterfall put me at ease, coupled with the familiar crackling licks of the fire and the sound of birds singing a final song before they found a place to roost for the night, it made the tension in my shoulders fall away as I stood there by my horse and my love. This is how life is meant to be, I thought.

I suddenly remembered the letter in my pocket from that morning, and looked over my shoulder at Arthur. He was prodding at the contents of a can with a fork, trying to stir the congealed substance to heat it evenly. I reached inside my pocket and retrieved the letter, looking down at it for a moment before walking over to him. I held it out to him silently, and he glanced at it before meeting my eyes.

"This came for you this morning," I told him. He took the letter from me and looked at the writing on the front. I could tell by the slight shift in his eyes that he knew who it was from. "It feels like there's something inside," I added.

Arthur tore open the letter and knocked it against his palm. I was correct in my guess that it was a ring, it fell into his hand and he stared at it for a while before unfolding the letter. He tilted it towards the fire to get some better light to read it with and I wandered away, back to Rayna, to give him some privacy. He didn't need me standing over him as he processed whatever she'd written.

I scratched Rayna under her chin and kissed her nose, whispering to her soft words of affection. She'd been neglected a little bit by myself over the past week or so, and she needed some love. I didn't want her thinking that Kieran was her new papa or something, considering the time he put in making sure that she and the other animals were happy.

Barely a minute passed and I heard the sound of folding paper. I looked over my shoulder and Arthur was staring at the ring again, a mild frown on his face. He must've been hurting but I didn't know how to comfort him. How does one comfort a lover who is hurting over a previous one? It was an odd situation.

"I don't really know the right customs when it comes to these things… but I feel like it'd be in bad taste to–" he began, then stopped and met my eyes. "She's giving me this back because she thinks it'll help her forget about me, I think," he clarified, holding the ring up to me.

My heart did something funny when I saw him like he was; happening to be on one knee as he crouched by the fire, now showing me a ring. The mental leap I made made me ache with some kind of longing. I pushed it away, for the time being.

"She put in her letter that maybe I should give it to someone else. Maybe even you," he continued. "I feel that's a little… odd. Considering I bought it for her all those years back. But I guess… do you want it?" He asked, a slight shrug coming with his words. I couldn't help but laugh.

"No," I breathed, shaking my head but grinning. I walked back over to him, bending over and cupping his face, tilting it so I could kiss him. "I don't want Mary's old ring. But thank you."

"I thought as much," he murmured, tucking the ring away in his satchel, "I thought I'd ask in case you thought it was pretty, or something, but it wouldn't be special," he shrugged.

"Special?" I repeated, a little unsure of what he meant.

"It was her… you know I asked her to marry me," he said very quietly, looking away from me. I nodded even though he wouldn't see it. He took a breath and met my eyes again, "I plan on buying you a ring of your own when that happens," he said, his tone light and casual, yet making my entire body burst with tingles and adrenaline.

"When that happens?" I repeated, choking the words out. Arthur's face seemed to pale as he realised what he'd said.

"If, when, I don't– you know what I– shit, I didn't mean anything by that. That was just a slip of the tongue. I just meant I… I wouldn't propose to someone with the same ring I did with someone else, it was just a general statement, I wasn't–" oh, he was panicking. I snickered and pressed my fingers to his mouth.

"It's okay. I understand," I nodded.

"I guess I… I love you and I can't imagine not loving you, that just slipped out like it was a normal thing to say," he justified, his eyes comically wide. I shook my head in amusement and carefully lowered myself down to sit next to him on the ground. I wondered how I'd get up again but that was a problem for later.

"It's alright. I'm not gonna take that too seriously," I sighed, leaning into his side. "This is an odd situation and you were just trying to say the right thing."

"Perhaps I'll… I'll sell it," he shrugged his shoulders.

"Maybe you could give it to John?" I suggested. "Perhaps one day he and Abigail could have a use for it, you know?"

"You think?"

"Abigail loves him. They're working things out, it seems. Aren't they?"

"Yeah, they are," he nodded, sitting down properly on his backside and wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "Maybe you're right. If he's got any sense he'll marry that woman. He ain't ever gonna find someone else who'll put up with him," he snorted.

"I think that would be sweet, if you gave it to him. That way, someone gets to use the ring and it ain't odd… plus I get my own ring, when the time comes," I smirked mischievously. "I like sapphires, by the way."

"Sapphires," he chuckled breathily, "noted. You know, that bracelet Penelope gave to me was sapphires."

"It was?"

"I still got it, you want it?" He asked. I chuckled and shook my head.

"The money's more important," I said.

"Well, she said it would be worth some," he nodded.

"My mama had a beautiful necklace with a sapphire in it, had to sell it, though. I always begged her to wear it," I told him, fondly recalling it. "Was only allowed to once, I remember," I lifted one finger.

"When was that?"

"My tenth birthday, we went to the park in Saint Denis, I was dressed up in my best frock. Mama said now that I was in double figures she needed to see if I was grown up enough to wear such a special necklace. I was so scared of losing it all day that I never asked to wear it again," I laughed, and Arthur chuckled too. "Couple years later we sold it, keeping a roof over our heads was more important, you know?" I added, and Arthur nodded.

"I suppose, lookin' for silver linings and all, at least we ain't gotta worry about losing no roof, living how we do," he sighed.

I nodded slowly. "And I think I prefer having no fixed abode. Don't know for sure why, but I like this," I gestured around us. "Always have. Much more now I ain't alone."

Arthur scrubbed his hand up and down my arm and then shifted forwards to retrieve the cans from the fire. He used a pair of sticks as pincers to lift them out carefully, placing them on the ground in front of us. He sighed down at our dinner.

"How we splitting this, you want beans or peas, or shall we have half and half each?" He asked.

"Half and half?" I shrugged.

"Alright, here you go," he handed me a spoon from his satchel and I started on my half of the peas while he went at the beans. It was certainly no banquet but it was something warm to fill our bellies.

"So, Colm's dead, I tried to throttle Micah… what a day this has been. Sadie told me that you and Dutch had a disagreement at the saloon earlier," I delicately broached the subject.

"That why you went and spoke to him?" He asked. Aw, shit.

"Yeah, I guess," I shrugged. I sensed him looking at me. "I just didn't want him treating you like crap because of me, so I went and told him that it's just me who wants us to leave."

"That ain't true," he protested.

"Yeah, I know. But it's simpler if Dutch thinks that."

"He ain't gonna be good to you, he thinks you're against him like that," he warned, and I shrugged carelessly. And I really didn't care. Dutch could fuck himself, to be frank.

"Whatever, just let me take the load off of you. You don't need him doubting you, you've got enough to worry about," I muttered, shaking my head and shovelling some more peas into my mouth. "I'm more interested in how you're feeling. He must've upset you."

"Just felt like he was throwing the past twenty years back in my face. I figure I've spent so long earning his trust and proving myself to him, and all it takes is me wanting the best for the woman I love for him to tell me that I ain't loyal. Maybe I ain't loyal to him no more, I don't know," he shrugged his shoulders, "if I'm not, that's only because he's been acting crazy."

"If he wants everyone to blindly trust him, no matter what, he's gotta do better," I shrugged. "I don't trust him to have everyone's best interests at heart. If it was me running this gang, I'd've given John a bunch of money and told him to get lost with Abigail and Jack by now. The poor kid got kidnapped and he's been shot at in his own home at least twice," I used the term 'home' very lightly, but it was true nonetheless.

"We could probably afford to do it, too. John's brought in plenty of work, ain't like he hasn't earned his cut," Arthur mused under his breath, a bean falling off of his fork down his shirt when he paused before putting it in his mouth. He sighed and scrubbed a hand over the mark it left.

I looked down into my can. "I do understand why you can't leave, when I think about these things," I told him quietly. "I don't think I could live with myself either, if we ran off and left everyone else in this mess."

Arthur met eyes when I looked up at him. He didn't say anything but I saw him relax a bit, read relief in his eyes. I could tell it put him at ease to learn that I was on a similar page to him. We ate for a while longer and then swapped cans, and finished off the last of the peas and beans between us.

"How's your leg?" He asked, leaning back on one elbow, head tilting towards the sky where the stars were out.

"Getting there. You saw me walking without my cane today. That weren't on purpose, I forgot it, but maybe I don't need it no more," I replied, leaning back on my hands and looking down at my outstretched legs before joining him in looking at the sky.

"Just be careful, princess," he whispered. There was a stretch of silence before he spoke again, "I'm still hungry after that. Maybe I'll go out in the morning and get us some proper food," he said, and I chuckled.

"You ain't got no more food?"

"I got some biscuits, not many though. Prob'ly not enough for two," he told me. I reached over and patted his belly.

"I won't ask for none," I assured him with a grin.

"You sure? I'd feel bad eating them in front of you," he said.

"I had some chocolate earlier, and I never shared it with you. Go for it."

"Where'd you get chocolate?" He asked, sitting up and retrieving the snack from his satchel.

"Pearson gave it to me, bless him."

"Pearson never gives me chocolate," he muttered to himself and I snorted, shaking my head.

It was quiet save for the crunching of Arthur's biscuits, and I leaned back, lying on the ground so I could watch the stars again. I felt sleepy and at peace. It was so good to be alone with Arthur, just quietly enjoying his company, completely alone for the first time in weeks. I wore an easy smile and released a content sigh, prompting Arthur to look at me.

"That's more like it. It's real good seeing you smile," he commented, brushing the biscuit crumbs from his short beard.

"It's just nice here. So peaceful," I noted, and he looked around and nodded.

"I keep thinking I can hear Karen yelling, drunk, or Micah winding somebody up. Mind's playing tricks on me, it's just the waterfall," he said, shaking his head.

"You sure? They ain't found us, have they?" I joked, making a show of looking around. Arthur laughed and laid down next to me, rolling over to half lean over me. He held himself up with his hand beside me, leaning down to kiss my forehead, then the tip of my nose.

"You look so pretty when you're happy. Not that you ain't pretty all the time, but when you're like this… makes me wanna wrap you up in my arms and keep you there," he said in a low, rumbling tone. I cupped his face and connected our mouths for a slow, open-mouthed kiss.

It went on for some time, we lost ourselves in it indulgently, always letting the background of our surroundings slip away when we kissed like that. I could do it for hours. It might've been one of my favourite things to do with him. Arthur shifted so his elbow held him up and his free hand could go to my waist, his thumb rubbing the spot back and forth, his fingers squeezing in my shirt. I was hazy with adoration in moments, bringing one hand to his torso where I wrapped it around his suspender.

When we broke away for air, Arthur's voice was gravelly and deep, almost a mere vibration in my ears.

"This is making me want you too much. Since the other day my thoughts ain't been anything close to pure–" he began, hearing himself and chuckling. "Sorry. I can't stop thinking about it. I wanna take you, out here, so I can watch your face while I make you feel good."

"I'm still– my monthly ain't finished," I whispered, though I was immediately turned on.

"I ain't squeamish," he said without missing a beat and I gasped and barked out a shocked laugh, smacking him lightly on the arm. He parted from me a bit so he could see my face properly.

"Arthur! That's so…" I laughed, shaking my head, not knowing what to say. "Dirty! In more than one sense."

"I'm sorry, I'm getting carried away again. You do that to me," he said, his cheeks reddening.

"It's okay. I just think– what a mess," I snickered, feeling my own face heat up with embarrassment. Arthur breathed a laugh too and laid down on his back next to me.

"You're probably right," he sighed. "It was worth a shot."

"Dirty boy," I muttered in faux-reprimand.

"Only since I met you," he retorted accusingly.

"I was a virgin when I met you, remember that?"

"What're you insinuating, that I'm the one who's turnin' you dirty?" He smirked at me and I chuckled.

"I don't know. Either way I'm not complaining."

"Mm, me neither."

His hand brushed against mine and he linked our pinky fingers. We were quiet for some time, and I was the one to tentatively break the silence.

"Mm, you know, if we were to go inside that tent…" I began, trailing off quietly.

"Yes?" His voice rose in pitch playfully.

"I might not be able to offer you the full fun and games, but I've got a perfectly serviceable pair of hands," I squeaked. He hummed a sultry laugh.

"Miss Jemima," he breathed, shaking his head in false disapproval.

"Is that a refusal?" I questioned. Arthur laughed breathily and rolled over onto his front enough to push himself to his knees. I watched him from my spot on the ground with a wide smile on my face.

"Sweetheart, I'm in no fit state to refuse anything from you. Come on," he jerked his head playfully towards the tent and I snickered, sitting up and shuffling along with him inside.

I awoke to an empty bedroll beside me. I noticed the little piece of paper laying atop it quick enough not to panic over Arthur's absence, and plucked it up to read it.

Gone hunting for some breakfast, back soon. Won't go far.

Love, Arthur

I folded the note and slipped it away in my satchel, its sentimental value manifesting itself in an instant despite being something so simple. It had the memories of such a beautiful place and a peaceful night attached to it, of course.

I scooted out of the tent; the fire was going strong, Arthur had obviously tended to it before he left so I'd wake up to some warmth. It wasn't the warmest climate this far north. I warmed myself there for a few moments before tackling the act of getting to my feet. It was trickier than it looked without the ability to bend my leg as far as I needed to, but I got there in the end and headed away from our campsite into the woods to take care of some morning business. Then I headed towards the water to clean up a bit and splash some water on my face. The place looked different in the daylight, with the vivid violet snowdrops dotting the foliage and the sun glinting off the churned up surface of the water by the waterfall.

I looked out across the river to the other side, taking in the trees that surrounded me. Movement caught my eye between them, all the way across the other side of the water. I stepped a little way to the left so I could see better, and spotted two figures in the trees. A gunshot made me jump, but it sounded like a varmint rifle so I wasn't too alarmed. I'd used one enough over the years to recognise its particular sound; less full-bodied than most rifles and almost a little hollow sounding.

I squinted and leaned forwards, trying to make out the figures. I was certain one of them was Arthur, recognising his blue shirt, but he was with someone else. A woman. From all the way across the river she looked a bit like Abigail, but there was no reason why she would be out here.

I decided to investigate. I glanced back at our campsite and ensured that nothing valuable was left unattended, and whistled for Rayna who immediately closed the space between us. I used my good leg in her stirrup to lift myself onto her, side-saddle, and clicked at her to get moving. I crossed the water at the shallowest point, Rayna's big hooves thu-dunking and splashing through noisily. I followed the path around into the part shrouded by trees, hearing their voices as I got closer.

"Get ahold of its legs, have a firm grip, give it a hard pull. Straight down," Arthur was explaining. I didn't want to creep up on them but I also felt strange shouting out, so I waited until I was close enough for them to notice.

Arthur turned, his face brightening with a smile once he saw me. The woman hadn't noticed, focusing on skinning the rabbit in her hands. She tore the skin off in one clean pull, a technique I'd never had much success with myself, but she seemed to do okay.

"Darlin', you're up," Arthur greeted.

"I saw you from across the water," I said, suddenly feeling a little odd about having sought him out. I hoped he didn't think I didn't trust him.

"Oh, hello there," the woman said when she noticed my arrival. I smiled at her as Arthur approached and helped me down off of Rayna, his hands on my waist as I slid off ensuring that I wouldn't land too hard on my feet and hurt myself.

"Hi," I replied, taking in her appearance. She looked slim and tired, her skin a little sallow and dirtied with mud. Her smile was weak behind her politeness, but she was pretty.

"This is Mrs. Balfour, she lives in a house just up there," Arthur introduced her, pointing up the path. "I came across her when I was looking for game."

"Charlotte," she nodded, reaching her hand out towards me, then spotting the rabbit blood on it and thinking better of it, "you must be Mr. Morgan's partner. My sincerest apologies, it's my fault you're having to wait for your breakfast," she chuckled weakly.

"Oh, not at all," I shook my head.

"He was helping me find some food, he taught me how to skin this rabbit," she said, holding up the animal. "My… my husband passed, and I've been struggling ever since. Well, we were struggling before he died but that's a different story," she shook her head, looking off in the direction of her home.

"I'm so sorry," I frowned. She gave me a small, grateful smile.

"I haven't eaten in days, but this will keep me going. Thank you so much," she turned to Arthur.

"Don't mention it," he said, gesturing with his hand for her to start heading back. "Let us walk you back."

I tagged along with them, sounding for Rayna to follow and taking hold of her reins.

"Did your husband do all the hunting?" I gently asked, concerned about her lack of knowledge when living so far out of civilisation.

"Tried to. Neither of us were any good, as I said to Arthur, we were City folk," she sighed, "just looking for some new escape. I don't know the first thing about hunting, can't even fire a gun properly."

Arthur and I glanced at each other, sharing the same look of worry.

"You should probably learn… no use me teaching you how to skin an animal if you can't catch any," Arthur suggested and she nodded her head, looking down at her feet.

Rayna suddenly dug her feet in, pulling on the slack of the reins, whinnying in distress. A moment later there was a gasp from Charlotte and then a choir of wailing howls from above. My blood ran cold, I'd never heard that sound so close and I swivelled to see three wolves up on the slope, looking right at us. I froze in place, my legs going numb as Rayna tore the reins from my slack hand and understandably bolted in the other direction, a second before the wolves pounced forwards.

Instinct sent my hand to my holster, pulling free my revolver and fumbling to pull back the hammer. This was why sidearms stayed loaded. A series of gunshots sounded before I fired, I watched one wolf slam into the ground and slide down, a second wounded. I aimed at the third and shot, missing a couple of times before finally landing a shot in the animal's chest, sending it down before unloading the remainder of my shots into it for good measure while Arthur finished off the others.

There were a few moments of still silence once the wolves were finished. Adrenaline made my hands throb and my head pound; I turned to look at Charlotte and Arthur with wide eyes.

"I would be dead now, if it weren't for you two," she breathed, shaking her head and shoving her hand into her hair, "I'm completely hopeless."

I shook my head, "you just need to practice shooting. I had to learn on my own years ago, I just kept trying. It gets easier, becomes second nature almost, aiming right," I told her in a tone I hoped would reassure her.

"Okay," she sighed and nodded, and we carried on towards her home.

I fell back a little to walk with Arthur, and spoke to him quietly. "Perhaps we could help her. Teach her how to shoot properly," I suggested.

"I was thinking the same thing," he nodded. "She just needs to eat right now but we could come back in a few days."

I nodded in agreement, then we reached the house. It was a pretty spot, right near the waterfall, neatly tucked away between trees and cliffs. Quiet and picturesque. I would've envied her if she wasn't so alone and struggling.

"I would invite you in, but I'm dead on my feet," she told us, breathing a little laugh. "But please, if you two are ever out this way again, do come and visit."

"Of course," I said, and Arthur nodded too.

"It was nice meeting you both."

"You too, you take care ma'am," Arthur tipped his hat at her and I dipped my head politely.

"Thank you, for this," she looked at Arthur sincerely and Arthur awkwardly shifted on his feet.

"Ain't no trouble," he shook his head.

"It's the kindest thing anyone's done for us since we… I appreciate it, a lot," she told him. "Enjoy the rest of your trip."

"Thank you," Arthur nodded, then Charlotte closed the door.

Arthur and I looked at each other then headed away.

"That was good of you," I told him, hooking my hand over the arm he offered. "You're a sweet man."

"I just did what anyone would've done. She was starving," he shook his head dismissively but I didn't let him get away with it. I reached up to kiss his cheek.

"It was a kind thing, I'm proud of you," I said, smiling up at him, "this is why I love you."

He met my eyes, his own softening and warming.

We reached the wolves and paused. "I guess this can be breakfast," I said.

"I suppose. And lunch, and dinner…" he chuckled, "better than letting it go to waste."

And so we set to work skinning and butchering the wolves. The pelts weren't in great shape, torn up by bullet holes evident of a panic, but they'd still come in useful around camp for extra warmth when the temperature dropped, as it occasionally did at the new camp. I stocked Rayna's back with the three pelts while Arthur finished cutting the usable meat from the animals, wrapping them up and distributing them between our satchels and the saddlebags. When we were done we took a moment to wash our hands in the river, cleaning away the blood and grease before mounting up together and heading back towards our campsite.

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan #fanfiction #arthur morgan x reader #atink #arthur morgan x female reader #reader insert #rdr2 fanfic

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tcswritings · 5 years ago

Text

MASTER DUMP.

Just a whole lot of very rough scribbles that were in my drafts. Some are lengthy, some are very short, some are super old (and partly outdated), others are somewhat recent but they all got one thing in common - I probably won’t go back to them, at least not any time soon. I really just wanna clear my drafts for now, and hey, why not share these bits? I kind of enjoy them anyway after all. xD

***

I. Untitled

(Declan tries to talk to Mick during the time of their big fight.)

***

“This is so stupid, man. We'll keep crossin’ paths after all, whether you like it or not and you don’t really wanna keep this up for all eternity, do you?” Declan asked, crossing his arms while he and the others watched Ryan unpacking the next box.

“Why are you talkin’ to me?” Mick mumbled out of the corner of his mouth. He didn’t even bother to look at Declan.

“This is bullshit, Mick!”

Mick merely took a deep breath, trying to stay calm and focussing on Ryan instead who currently struggled with the wrapping of his gift.

“I mean, I know you love actin’ like a petulant lil’ arsewipe but you could as well as just use that energy to try and forgive me?”

“Do me a favour and drop dead.”

“In sixty years, maybe. You’re gonna have to put up with me for a few more years, I’m afraid.”

“Fuck you.”

“Guys! Shhh!” Jessie hissed at her two fighting friends.

*****

“Can you please tell me what’s so funny?” The least Declan expected from Lauren was a laughing fit.

“I’m sorry!” she chuckled, doing her best to pull herself together. “It’s nothin’ personal, just the thought of my son’s father and his best friend - two grown up men - bitchin’ at each other like sum’ pre-teens would.”

____________________

II. Untitled

(Charlie and Kieran and that one evening in the O’Leary’s.)

It’s Summer 2016 and Charlie realises that her feelings for Kieran have taken a somewhat different turn as she finds herself smitten with him when they have a talk at her favourite pub in Boston.

*****

He looked thinner than the last time she had seen him, and he looked worn-out and very tired.

Not the kind of tired that a few hours of a good night’s sleep could fix, but the kind of tired that someone who had seen and endured too much within a short time would look like, someone who was silently suffering and who was bad at taking care of it.

When Charlie had met Kieran O’Connell for the first time a little more than six years ago, he had acted like an unnecessarily rude brat and there was no other way to put it. He had the questionable charm of a guy who was well aware of his good looks and who knew he was quite the catch, so to say, and she could still remember his overly confident swagger, the arrogant look on his face, his deep and penetrating voice as well as how his pale blue eyes had pierced hers when he had looked into her face for the very first time.

Despite his rudeness (and the apparent lack of manners), Charlie had thought of Kieran as a force of nature from the very beginning and it turned out that she was right - once she got to know him a little better, it became more and more obvious to her that he was actually a very passionate and spirited guy with a heart as big as the entire world and that had impressed her so much more than his cocky behaviour and she couldn’t help but grow really fond of him over the years.

Not much was left of the cocky and lively guy today, though, and while it ached Charlie to see her friend in pain - he tried his best to cover it up but he couldn’t hide it - she had felt a strange wave of affection overwhelming her right in the moment they had greeted each other with a heartfelt hug. There was sympathy, of course, but it was mixed with something else and it took her a little while to figure the feeling out.

Charlie was nervous. Anticipating. And she had been ever since they had sat down at one of the tables. Charlie had been listening closely and her heart ached for him and yet she couldn’t help but notice a little spark despite the gloomy subject. There was nothing in this world she wanted more in this moment than to be close to him and to fix the things going wrong in his life so he would smile at her again, like he always had.

“I just wish there was something I could say.” Charlie sighed. “I don’t have too much to offer aside from ‘I know how it feels.’”

“Y’ do?”

“Yeah.” she nodded. “I lost my aunt when I was 15.”

“That’s rough. You never told me about it.”

“Yeah, it’s not really a subject to keep a mood up, right?”

“Fair enough.” Kieran laughed. “What happened to your aunt?”

“Well, to be fair, she wasn’t really my aunt, not by blood at least. She was the wife of my dad’s best friend.”

“Blood or no blood, it no longer matters after a while.” Kieran said with a faint smile. “How did she die?”

“Same. Car crash. She had her little daughter with her, they both died. She was only 31, her daughter was three.”

“That’s horrible.”

“Yeah, it was. And it wasn’t even just the pain of losing them, y’know? Seeing dad hurt, seeing Adrian hurt - all of a sudden, our entire life was nothing but sadness and grief.”

Kieran let out a dry chuckle. “I know what y’ mean. Watching Ma and Pa, and also my siblings, is the worst. Like a punch to the guts. I try to come an’ see them as often as I can these days but truth is that I dread it every damn time. Sometimes it’s - I dunno. It’s-”

“Too much?”

“Too much.” Kieran nodded. “I mean, how do you even comfort the people who have raised you? What do you tell ‘em? That it’s gonna be alright? I don’t know what losing a child feels like. Gave ‘em nothin’ but grief myself for the better part of my life, I just don’t know what to do or say most of the time.”

“Do you think you have to do or say something?”

“Yeah, it’s what I think. It’s what I think any damn time I’m at home, any time my sister looks at me with her big sad eyes, like she’s at a loss at how t’ move on and any time my brother snaps at us, somethin’ he’s never done before, not like that at least. Someone has to keep this fuckin’ bunch from fallin’ apart after all-”

Kieran fell quiet as Charlie reached over the table and took his hand. It was a spontaneous reaction and Charlie already feared that she could come across as intrusive but Kieran didn’t even flinch at the gesture. He even closed his hand around hers. She squeezed it a little and a few moments later she could tell that he was starting to relax.

“I‘m sorry. Fuckin’ nerves.” he smiled.

“Couldn’t tell.” Charlie smiled back. “Relax. Breathe. You’re here for vacation. You can go back to saving your folks once you charged up.”

“I dunno, I think it takes a lot more to charge up than a few weeks away from home. Actually, I even feel like I’m running away.”

“No. It’s good you’re here. And maybe you won’t charge up right away, but you can get your mind off things for a little while. You gotta do that, y’know?”

“You think so, eh?”

“Yes, I do, and it has nothing to do with running away. You gotta take care of yourself every once in a while.” Charlie squeezed Kieran’s hand once more.

“You’re cute.”

“Well, it’s obvious that you’re not really good at taking care of yourself so I’m just trying to be the person who does it until you learn it.” Charlie cocked her head and smiled at him.

Returning the smile, Kieran brushed a strand of dark hair out of his face with his free hand. He looked at Charlie for a few more moments before he gently pulled his hand back, adjusting himself and looking around the pub. “Alright, how ‘bout we order a jug of ale, get roaring drunk and we’ll go wherever you wanna go?”

“I don’t do ‘roaring drunk’ too well.” Charlie chuckled, suddenly remembering the first and only time he had seen her in that exact state.

“Me neither. We’re already halfway there, though, and we’ll be fine, c’mon.”

“Wait, what’s that supposed to mean? I’m nowhere near roaring drunk and neither are you?”

“We could be. Anything you want, love. Let’s get our minds off things, as you put it.”

Charlie couldn’t tell what exactly caused the flutter in her stomach - the little spark in Kieran’s eyes as well as his playful smile or the term of affection. He had addressed her like that before but it meant more today than it ever had before and she felt herself all too willing to respond.

(...)

____________________

III. Untitled

(Orla yells at Mick for getting married in a fever.)

***

“You. WHAT?”

Orla’s outcry was followed by the distinct noise of shattering glass, causing Mick to flinch and jump back a little. He looked at the mess at his feet and then back at Orla who merely stared at him, her eyes wide, before she looked to the ground and slowly took a crouching position, proceeding to swipe the little shards together with her bare hands.

Mick could see that she was trembling and hunkered down as well. “Be careful, you’re gonna hurt yourself.” he said, but Orla merely batted Mick’s hand away as he tried to keep her from touching the glass.

“NO, don’t touch me!”

“Orla-”

“Look me in the eye and tell me that you didn’t do what I think you just said you did!” Orla’s voice cracked.

“Orla, there’s no need to freak out-”

“You can’t be married!?”

“I am, I jus' told you!”

“Oh my god.” Orla closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Still in her squatting position, she propped up her elbow on her knee, wiping her face with her hand and eventually pinching the bridge of her nose with her finger and her thumb.

Mick raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you a bit dramatic right now?”

"Shut up!” she hissed back at him. “Don’t you dare calling me dramatic!"

“Aye, sorry, I-”

“Are you out of your mind? I mean, more than usual?!"

Mick ignored the little remark. “I don’t even know why you’re makin’ such a big deal of it-”

“Because it is a big deal! It is a Big. Fucking. Deal, Mick! You got married!” She glared at him and realised that she still had a few shards of glass in her left hand. “Ah, fuck this!” she hissed, tossed the few shards to the ground and stood up again, eventually stomping out of the room.

Mick looked after her for a few moments. Granted, he hadn’t really expected Orla to be thrilled, but he hadn’t expected her to be so furious either. Feeling a little helpless, he bit his lip, before he stood up as well and followed her into her living room. When he opened the door, he almost bumped into her. Orla swiftly turned around on the spot.

“Orla, c’mon, let’s just-”

She cut him off once more. “I don’t believe this, Mick. You come here and tell me that you just got married to this total nutcase-”

“Oi, watch it!”

“- and expect me to be, what exactly?! To be cool with it? Like it’s no big deal at all, like it’s the most natural thing ever that my best friend disappears for a weekend and comes home married, to a woman he hardly knows, without letting any of us know-”

“Orla, what the fuck is your problem?”

“You! You are my problem! For years I was the one,” - Orla pointed at herself - “who always stood up for you when anyone called you stupid or idiotic and whatnot but it’s true. They’re all right, you are an idiot and you have always been!”

Mick let out a little laugh as he now faced Orla, his eyes narrowing. “Is that all y’ have to say? That I’m an idiot?”

“Well, you must be!” Orla went on. “The only other explanation I have for this bullshit is that she must do some really amazing things in the bedroom. Does she?”

Mick let out another laugh but it wasn’t a friendly one. “Fuck this, I don’t need to justify myself.”

“No, of course you don’t. Go off, be happy, do what you want. You never cared about filling me in about this but hey, as your best friend I couldn’t be happier for you!” Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“How many times do I have to tell you that-”

“- that it was a spontaneous thing? Oh, don’t worry, I got that!”

“Orla-” Mick tried again after a few moments of silence, his voice soft, but Orla wasn‘t done yet.

“I mean, it is not quite what I meant when I told you a while ago that you need to work on being more spontaneous again. You could’ve started by, dunno, going on a road trip or buying a new couch or gettin’ Sasha a friend but hey, why not marry a woman you have known for six minutes? You exceeded my expectations, congratulations!”

All of a sudden, a thought crossed Orla’s mind and as it did, her heart skipped a beat and she could feel the colour rushing from her face. “Oh dear lord. She’s pregnant, isn’t she?”

Mick now closed his eyes and groaned. “Oh god, oh my fuckin’ god.”

“Answer me!” Orla spat out.

“I dunno!” he shot back.

“Wrong answer!”

Mick groaned. “I mean, I don’t think so, no?! Even if she was, it wasn’t the reason why we did this.”

“Oh my god, I would even get that, considering how you were raised and-”

“Shut up! Just shut. up!” Mick eventually interrupted her harshly. He was done being patient. “Stop psychoanalysing me, stop buggin’ me, stop doin’ whatever y’ doin’. You insulted me in every possible way within the last ten minutes and I don’t need that shit from you, not from you!”

“Well, did you expect me to be happy for you? Like you didn’t just ruin your entire life?”

“I didn’t ruin my life and no, I didn’t expect that.” Mick replied wearily. “I dunno what I expected, I just didn’t think y’ would be that much of an arsehole about everything.”

“I am not being an arsehole-”

“You’re bein’ the worst arsehole I’ve ever known right now and I’m done talkin’ about this unless you tell me what the real problem is.”

“I don’t have a problem?”

“You most certainly do. And I wanna know what it is, goddammit.”

“You’re throwing your life away for a woman you hardly know! You keep falling for all those wacko women who are terrible for you and it’s beyond me how you fail to see that-”

“Wait, just so I get this right... you can date whomever you want, for as long or short as you want, no matter how much of a fuckwad the guy is, but once I pick someone, I need your approval?”

“That is not what I’m saying.” Orla groaned and rolled her eyes.

“So what are y’ sayin’ then?”

Orla blinked and took a breath as she put her hands to her hips, shooting Mick a harsh look.

“Has it ever occurred to you that you make the worst choices, Mick? That you’re complete and utter shit at getting your damn life together? You just outdid yourself! First Leila-”

“That was different-”

“-and now Mina. Why can’t you just pick a nice and stable one for once? Why can’t you just-”

“Stay alone so I can be your last resort?”

Startled, Orla looked at Mick, her lips parted in shock.

“What did you just say?” she whispered.

“I dunno, I’m merely gettin’ the impression that you like keepin’ me on a short leash but once I go off and do my own thing-”

“You have some nerve-”

“Obviously hit a nerve.” Mick mumbled.

“You’re so full of shit! Why would I want to keep you as a last resort? What kinda fucked up thought is that even? You’re my best friend!”

“Hell yes, I am, and I wouldn’t want it any other way but right now y’ bein’ the world’s worst bitch-”

“HEY!”

“And don‘t tell me that you wouldn’t have ran off with that fuckin’ Australian if he’d asked you to.”

“Yeah, maybe, but I’m glad I didn’t. All relationships start out great, you know that, but things can blow up so quickly. Even worse, sometimes one part just runs away when nothing at all happened, just like James did.”

“Just like you did.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“You ran away from me, just like that.”

“Oh my god, why are you bringing up age old stories again?”

Mick ignored the question. “Y’know what? I don’t even care. I care about makin’ this work, I can do that all by myself and I don’ need your support anyway. How about y’ just leave me be, alright?”

____________________

IV. Untitled

(Declan and Lauren face some unexpected trials of life.)

***

September 2014

“What about Marshall?”

“What, like the guy from that terrible sitcom?”

“Nah, like the amplifiers. Or, y’know, like Jimi Hendrix’s middle name.”

Lauren pursed her lips as she pondered the suggestion for a few moments. She eventually shook her head. “Don’t think so, no.”

“Aw, c’mon, why not? It sounds badass.”

“But I will know that the poor baby was named after either a drug addict or a huge black... block. Thanks, I’ll pass.”

“Just think about this, though: he’ll love us for the name when he eventually becomes a guitarist?”

“We don’t even know if he’s a he, Dec. Let alone whether he becomes a guitarist.”

“Come on. ‘Course it’s gonna be a boy. I mean, “ Declan shrugged, “two brothers, two nephews? We have strong genes.”

“Dear lord, no, I really don’t wanna raise a... you.” Lauren groaned as she leaned back against the wall, struggling to find a comfortable position. She was in the eighth month of her pregnancy and some things became a little tricky - such as finding resting positions that didn’t leave her sore or in pain after ten or less minutes.

“Aw, will you ever stop pretending that you can’t stand me? I mean, we both know how that came to be?” Declan gently patted Lauren’s belly before he reached over to grab one of the pillows that were piled up next to the little cupboard that he had helped her build up earlier. “C’mon, take that. You probably shouldn’t be sitting on the floor anyway, eh?”

“Ugh, it no longer makes a difference anyway. I feel and look like a whale, everything hurts and nothing is comfortable anymore. Not ever.”

As he put the pillow behind Lauren’s back, trying to make sure that she felt at least a little more comfy, Declan grimaced. He felt pretty guilty all of a sudden. “... sorry you feel like that.”

“That, uhm, was actually the part when you were to say ‘You don’t look like a whale, Lauren!’, y’know.”

“Ah, shit.” Declan laughed. “You don’t look like a whale, Lauren!”

“You’re a horrible liar but, y’know, points for trying and such.” Lauren smiled back. “It’s alright, I’m kidding, don’t worry. Looking like a whale is kinda like my least problem these days.”

“What do you mean?”

“Okay. Can I be completely honest for a second?”

“Sure.”

Lauren took a heavy breath. “I’m freaking out, actually.”

“What? Now?”

“No, not now. I mean, yeah. Also now! All the damn time! I mean, aren’t you freaking out? Not at all?”

Declan looked at Lauren and when he pondered the question in his mind he realised that, at least right now, he was quite far from freaking out. “Not really.” he replied. “I mean, I used to, yeah?”

“I know you used to. You freaked out right in the beginning and now, with due date ‘round the corner, it’s me... I dunno. I kinda don’t want this.”

“Bit late for second thoughts, I’m afraid.”

“I know! I know how horrible that must sound to you now, oh god.”

“Nah, it doesn’t.”

“I’m just wondering how on goddamned earth I thought I could be a good parent. I mean, I took the risk of getting pregnant just so I - so we could- oh god. So what’s next? Huh? Tell me.”

“Uhm-”

“I tell you what’s next. I’m gonna put Baby on the changing table and leave the room, just like that, because hey, what’s the worst that could happen, eh?”

“Okay, what are you talking about-”

“And I sure won’t bother reading about nutrition and food?! Oh hell no, I’ll just give Baby some rubbish I find in the back of my refrigerator ‘cause, I mean, it works for me, right?!”

“Oh god, Lauren, what the fuck is that about now?”

“I am stupid, Dec! I don’t think things through, I can’t possibly be a parent!”

“So what, I’m stupid, too? Kinda played my part in this, y’know.”

“Oh my god! Yes, you are stupid! We’re both stupid!”

Declan snorted. “So let’s just hope this all maybe works out like multiplication, eh? Minus times minus equals plus?”

“We’re not at school!” Lauren moaned.

“Yeah I’m kinda grasping at straws here.” Declan admitted and bit his lip. “Honestly though, it’s what I do all the time. I just hope for the best. And somehow it works?”

“But you can’t just ‘hope for the best’ when a baby is involved?”

“Huh! Just think about all those weirdos in this world who manage to raise a kid. It somehow works? My parents raised us and they’re pretty much the worst weirdos I know.”

“Is that supposed to reassure me now?!” Lauren raised an eyebrow.

“C’mon, we really didn’t turn out all too bad! ... okay, Orla is a bit weird, I’ll give you that, but three out of four is still a good rate?”

“Oh my god!” Lauren laughed.

Declan smiled at her for a few moments before he eventually put his arm around her shoulder, scooting a little closer and pressing a kiss to her temple.

“I’m not even saying that everything will be fine, I’m just saying that it’s gonna happen, no matter what, and we just kinda... have to do this.”

“My parents offered any help I need...” Lauren murmured, resting her head on Declan’s shoulder.

(...)

September 2019

(...)

“Oh man, for how much longer are they even going to be in there?!”

“Shh. It’s all good, it’s been only five minutes.” Lauren whispered.

“I don’t understand why they have to keep doing all this, it’s not like it changes, y’know... what it is.”

“They need the x-ray to check his lymph vessels, so they can eventually figure out the best way to treat him.”

“They’re clueless.”

“They’re thorough. He’ll be fine, you know they won’t harm him.”

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, you already sound like them.” Declan scoffed.

“I don’t. Unlike you, I listened to what they had to say! Stop using that tone on me already!”

“What tone?”

“Like I have no clue what you’re going through.”

Declan could hear the bitterness in Lauren’s voice and it was when he knew he had gone too far. He couldn’t let it out on her. Of all people in his life, Lauren was the one who understood exactly how he felt and she was also the one whose company he longed for most these days.

“I’m sorry. God, I- I know I’m awful. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. I get it.” Lauren rested her head against his shoulder while they held each other close.

“He’s all alone in there.” Declan’s voice broke and he wiped his tired eyes with the palm of his hand. “I hate it when they take him away.”

“I know. Me too.”

“I’m freakin’ out, Lauren.”

“C’mon, let’s sit.”

“Don’t wanna sit, I want him back.”

“I know, I want the same.”

“Don’t know how it happened but I’m strangely fond of this kid.” Declan now let out a little laugh. It was a nervous laugh, one that happened because he was too scared to let out anything else at this point. Lauren knew him well enough.

“Go figure.” she replied faintly. There was silence for a few moments until Declan spoke again.

(...)

____________________

V. Text Messages, part 1.

Declan has created the group ‘concert shit’.

Declan has added you to the group.

Declan has changed the group image.

6:43 - Declan: Lady and Gentlemen, this is the long overdue group chat to plan our concerts and open airs. I’m sick of talking to you individually and organise shit all by myself.

6:44 - Jessie: Like you ever did that or are remotely good at that kinda stuff 😆

6:44 - Declan: Quiet Jessica.

6:44 - Jessie: No. 😂 😂 😂

6:44 - Declan: Suggestions to change the group title are not welcome btw. Concert shit is a grand name for this kind of group

6:45 - Mick: why cant we change the title

6:45 - Mick: it’s shit

6:45 - Mick: literally

6:46 - Declan: Because we can’t Michael.

6:46 - Declan: I’m the admin, I say what’s to be done.

6:46 - Mick: ya do shit man

6:46 - Mick: like I let ya tell me what to do

6:47 - Daryl: I already hate this group dynamic.

6:47 - Jessie: It’s like in real life. 😆

6:47 - Jessie: Dipso always tries to be the one who decides shit. And we just don’t let him so it’s all good? So, Clockwork Fury in Dublin? I’d be up for it!

6:48 - Daryl: When?

6:48 - Daryl: And why Dublin, why not Athlone? Aren’t they playng in Athlone this time?

6:48 - Daryl: *playing

6:48 - Declan: I didn’t even know they are touring. Found them kinda lame last time tbh.

6:49 - Mick: they ARe lame

6:49 - Mick: Im out

6:49 - Mick: road trip to dublin tho

6:49 - Mick: like 2017

6:49 - Mick: for gojira

6:49 - Mick: I WANT a noTHER ROAD RIP

6:49 - Mick: TRIP lol

6:50 - Daryl: I still have nightmares and flashbacks from that trip. How much are tickets for CF, Jess?

6:52 - Jessie: 30ish, I think. I’ll order next week, I’m definitely gonna go and I’m taking Harper.

6:53 - Daryl: You guys are serious now?

6:53 - Jessie: I dunno. Yeah? I guess? 😂

6:53 - Jessie: The woman needs some good taste in music HONESTLY. And, I mean, she agreed to come and to be open about more future concerts and planning stuff together kinda means we’re in relationship land!? I mean, is that even a good sign?

6:54 - Daryl: How would I know? I’m shit at that stuff. 😂

6:55 - Jessie: Does Patti know you’re shit at that stuff? xD

6:55 - Daryl: She’s had first hand experience for three months now so yeah, I assume she does. She kinda seems to like me enough. 😂

6:55 - Jessie: Yeah why she’s a KEEPER?! 😜

6:55 - Jessie: Told ya that if you mess it up, I will gladly take her.

6:56 - Declan: what the fuck??

6:56 - Daryl: Thanks Jess but I think I’m gonna keep her myself. :D

6:56 - Declan: last time I checked this chat was called ‘concert shit’

6:56 - Declan: NOT ‘RELATIONSHIP SHIT’

6:56 - Declan: y’all are annoying with your relationship shit.

_________________

VI. Sailor Man

March 2020. The days are getting longer, the air is getting warmer and Orla just met a handsome sailor from overseas. Her friends are very, very curious.

***

“So, who was that guy last night?”

“Can we maybe not talk about last night? I still feel horrible.” Orla sounded tired and as she rubbed her temples, she let out a faint sigh.

“Ah, sweetheart, don’t worry. You got tipsy, so what?” Rosamund waved off. “All I could complain about is that you didn’t spend your money here at my place, as usual.”

“Honestly, I don’t even know what happened.” Orla groaned. “I was at the tattoo studio, and all of a sudden this incredibly sexy guy in a sailor uniform comes in. Tall, broad, dark hair, gorgeous tan, tattooed all over, bright smile, cute dimples... and that’s when I, well. I kinda stopped thinking.”

“A sailor uniform?” Patti asked. “You’re dating a sailor?”

“We’re not dating, we have met only yesterday! He wanted to get a little tattoo that would remind him of his stay here. I think Harper noticed that I was... , well, that I was a bit into him and pointed him in my direction and I told him that I was only the apprentice but he didn’t care, he wanted the tat anyway so I did it.”

Orla looked around. Rosamund, Declan and Patti all stared expectantly at her. She frowned but eventually shrugged and went on.

“Well, we went out afterwards, we had a snack, I showed him around, he told me he was from Detroit... annnnd we hopped some bars, I got tipsy, and at some point he kissed me, and I got even more tipsy.... and then we got here and I said some really terrible things to Mick and... oh god, Mick.” Orla groaned, closing her eyes and burying her face in her hands. “I somehow need to sort that out.”

“Ah, not now, though.” Patti interfered. “A sailor, wow. I mean, is he a sailor or just some weirdo who likes dressing up as one?”

“Oh, he is a sailor, darling. Such a sailor.” Rosamund closed her eyes and smiled, still charmed by the cheer memory of the guy.

“And he’s definitely an upgrade to Pizza Pete.” Declan nodded.

“Don’t call him Pizza Pete!?” Orla snapped.

“He referred to himself as Pizza Pete?! Don’t try to cover that he was the unfunniest... blandest boyfriend you ever had.”

“It’s the way you said it. Don’t be so condescending. Pete was cute and... well, I got fifty percent off my next order after any time we, uh... we met.”

“Ugggh...” Declan wrinkled his nose and looked away.

“Fifty percent? You were screwing that guy and all you got was lousy fifty percent? What a cheapskate.” Patti exclaimed, clearly appalled.

“It’s better than nothing- what, no, I don’t wanna talk about Pete now? My head’s still spinning, y’all need to leave me suffer in silence, please.”

(...)

_____________

VII. Untitled

(I don’t even know what this was supposed to be, lol. Sean turns 53 and the family celebrates?!?!?! Also, this must be set in 2013 since Orla and Mick are a thing here, haha.)

***

“I still don’t know how y’all convinced me to celebrate my 53th birthday.” Sean O’Connell laughed. “It’s not an even number or somethin’ after all.”

“Well, we need some kind of excuse to stuff our faces and get drunk during daylight?” his daughter suggested, rasing her glass to her father. “Cheers, Da!”

“Cheers, sweetheart. Like you ever cared about that.” Sean replied and he nearly lost it at Orla’s dumbfounded expression.

“When did I ever get drunk during daylight? I don’t do that!” Orla seemed appalled.

“You did. With Ma.” Declan chimed in. “Like, two weeks ago.”

“You did what?” Next to Orla, Mick raised his eyebrow, suppressing a smile.

“Uhm no, that was just-”

Sean laughed heartily now. “No no no, no need to justify yourself, kid, that was hilarious. I loved how you two sang along to- what was it again?”

“Daaaad!” Orla moaned.

“The Moulin Rouge soundtrack! After all those years it’s still wonderful!” Sarah noted.

“Oh yeah.” Declan noted with an eyeroll. “So wonderful.”

“Glad I wasn’t around for that.” Malachy mumbled next to him.

“You should be. It was ugly. Very, very ugly.” Declan mumbled back at him. “Earshattering. Frightening.”

“Oh god, can you just stop being arseholes and-” Orla interfered but Sarah just shook her head.

“C’mon, sweetheart, it’s not our fault that all these lil’ fuckers here have no idea how to spend a good time, eh?”

Orla pursed her lips for a bit and eventually nodded. “You know what? Right you are, Ma. Y’all are just boring. We should do it again, I think. Right here. Right now.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, don’t.” Malachy spat out. “I don’t need any nightmares later.”

“You are a nightmare.” Orla shot back. When she saw that her boyfriend was still looking at her with his eyes wide in apparent confusion, she groaned. “Don’t look at me like that? I promise, I won’t burst out singing songs now.”

“Whatever,” Mick answered. “There could be worse after all.”

Malachy snorted. “Jesus Christ, congrats!” he said into Orla’s direction. “Apparently love ain’t just blind, it’s also deaf.”

“I mean, Mick, you know she can’t sing, don’t you? ‘Course you do.” Declan added.

“Ugh, c’mon, Dip, what am I supposed to say now? She’s sittin’ right next to me.”

“At least he’s not blatantly lying!” Sarah chimed in. “I like that! Very promising!”

“Y’gotta learn that, tho.” Declan said. “Relationships are all about sugarcoating and tellin’ each other weird cute-sy shit just so the other one ain’t pissed all the time.”

“Aye, I’m, uh, not gonna take that note, don’t mind me.” Mick raised an eyebrow.

“Good boy!” Sarah nodded. “You two will do just fine, I’m sure.”

“Yeah, just don’t take any tips from Declan.” Malachy added.

“Hey!” Declan protested. “I give great advice.” He turned to Mick and Orla again. “Mark my words, man, in a few years, when the two of you have three weird kids and are miserable all the time, you’ll be longing for my piece of advice.”

“No one is having weird kids!” Sarah chimed in. “Hopefully.” she added quietly, but still loud enough that both Mick and Orla now shared a startled look.

(...)

__________________

.... that’s it, I guess. Sanne out. :’D

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cowboylovins101 · 6 years ago

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FIGHTING OVER READER

Headcanons

Warnings: None

Tags: @scripturam-lupus

Oof, I always have fun with things like this. Kieran and Javier is an interesting mix (and would be an even more interesting sandwhich, still fun though 😍). Honestly Idk who I'd choose, both? Both is good.

------------------------------------------------

-Alright so lucky you has caught the heart of both Kieran and Javier, which means both of them are gonna be giving you their full attention and pampering. This also means they'd be watching you more closely and quickly see the others affections.

-Kieran, bless his heart, would be blinded by you for the most part, so I headcanon Javier would be the first of the two to notice that he wasn't the only one eyeing you. Not that Kieran is stupid, he's just focused more on you're smile then the fact that Javier is primarily giving it.

-Javier would of course do what you'd expect and threaten Kieran to lay off, especially cause he's still an O'Driscoll in his book. This would be how Kieran finds out, and while he backs down from threats for the most part, because he's new and doesn't want trouble, you are the one thing he just can't seem to back away from. Thus the whole debacle begins.

-Like yeah, Javier has a lot of violent tendencies, and he'll threaten the boy for gettin' too close but he doesn't own you and wants you to choose him a little more naturally then just, removing any other suitors. His charms are gonna ramp the fuck up. You mostly see this in the way he compliments you, or gives you gifts he bought in town that made him think of you. He'll give you jewelery, or a new gun, maybe a book he heard you mention having interest in.

-Kieran, on the other hand, will go the gift giving and acts of service route. Sure he'll compliment and stuff, but he's gonna be doing more things for you, and giving you little gifts he found or flowers he picked. He'll be doing your half of the chores, or helping you here and there. This goes hand in hand with his attempts to impress you too, he want's you to see how hard of a worker he is since he can't really go outside camp. He wants you to see how committed he is to the gang despite having been with Colm first, that he's not an O'Driscoll (which probably attracted him to you in the first place).

-Javier will try to impress you by showing you his strengths. If you go out on jobs with the gang he'll be showcasing his fighting skills, protecting you, being an overall show off. In camp, or if you don't go on jobs, expect to see him at five finger fillet, or playing with his knife, arm wrestling, stuff to prove he can and will protect and hold you safe with him. But also be tender and loving by showing you his musical skills and overall loyalty to the gang.

-If you choose Javier he won't rub it in Kierans face much. Maybe when they had first started, but as the competition went on he saw how much Kieran had actually liked you and he may be an outlaw but he's not heartless. And eitherway he'd be far to distracted by his happiness at having you by his side to do anything else.

-If Kieran is your boy expect him to be shocked, but overwhelmed with happiness. He's glad you would choose him and he swears he won't gloat. At the end of the day it wasn't about winning aginst Javier, it was about loving you.

-Now, if you want both, you best anticipate the competition won't stop. It won't be as strong sure, and both will definitely have difficulty sharing at first, but they love you and have gained respect for eachother over the course of this challenge.

#javier escuella #kieran duffy #kieran duffy imagine #kieran duffy x reader #javier escuella x reader #javier escuella imagine #rdr #rdr2 #writing

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comicteaparty · 5 years ago

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March 30th-April 5th, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from March 30th, 2020 to April 5th, 2020. The chat focused on Crypts and Cantrips by Kieran Thompson.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Crypts and Cantrips by Kieran Thompson~! (http://cryptsandcantrips.kytri.net/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace until April 5th, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Discussions are freeform, but we do offer discussion prompts in the pins for those who’d like to have them. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic! Whether you finish the comic or can only read a few pages, everyone is welcome to join and chat with us!

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 1

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic?

2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)?

3. Who is your favorite character?

4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?

5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it!

6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores?

7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content?

8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Just starting the first chapter...hmm, what is the establishment hiding, that they're so against the idea of making new maps?

And I'm intrigued by the idea of a society that's frankly & cheerfully accepting of trans people, but also, doesn't know that lesbians exist? Or has a fixation on a super-narrow PIV-specific idea of virginity. Or both? If the issue was "this person can't be allowed to get pregnant before the arranged marriage or it would be A Scandal," that would be a logical reason to divide up which sexy things are "safe" vs. which aren't, but it isn't framed that way...

Okay, end-of-the-chapter blurb says that is what it's about. It's just odd that the dialogue was coy about "the issue is pregnancy" while being so blunt about other things. (I was just reading another comic with a trans princess character, and wow, what an awkward plot twist that could lead to. "So, the good news is, there wasn't an accidental pregnancy in the direction you were afraid of, but...")

"I made a fantasy trope in this comic work the way I wish it worked in a certain other canon" is such a great motivator.

Geez, this kid's only been adventuring for 5 minutes before someone gets murdered in front of him. Poor guy.

...on the bright side, oh good, the princess is aware that lesbians exist.

Loving this axolotl dragon art. http://cryptsandcantrips.kytri.net/comic/chapter-3-extras-17/

And the orca dragon that follows.

Have now read through the Dramatic Twist. Not gonna go into details for the sake of other first-time readers, but it's more complicated than these plots usually seem to get in fantasy settings, and I'm into it.

warriorneedsfood

I like the comic. The relationships are fun to watch develop. I found the character introductions a little awkward with the announcement of their various types of sexuality. But after establishing them, I found their personalities interesting and was looking forward to reading more.

RebelVampire

What I liked about the beginning of the comic is kind of just how quickly it starts world-building with stuff like the issue of discrimination in the market or just the general name dropping of stuff. All of it felt pretty natural, and as I consider world-building vitally important for fantasy, I really liked the comic didn't hide its punches. My favorite moment was actually when the stranger on the road said "please come help my wagon" and then it devolved into them being attacked. This is like one of the most stereotypical fantasy things to happen, but that's kind of why I liked it. It added familiar comfort food with all the new stuff, and I liked just having something like that 100% met my expectations for what was about to happen. My favorite character right now is definitely Taneli. I love just how sweet and accepting she is. But I also kind of like she's just really...not entirely capable because she's lived the sheltered palace life and not gotten out much. Usually that's something I'd find annoying, but something about Taneli just makes it work so I absolutely adore how overall innocent she is even in spite of being stuck in an arranged marriage. I like seeing Kitov and Taneli interact the most. They have a beautiful, touching, and supportive relationship going on and I like how theyre similar in regards to world experience. It doesn't make it feel like either of them is somehow superior or has the upperhand, so it's just communication between equals.

RebelVampire

As for the art, I really like the character designs. They aren't overly complicated, but are each very unique as well, and I think overall they got that right fantasy DnD vibe to them that just really suits the story being told. I kind of like that the story is exploring the theme of duty and arranged marriages. Usually when it comes to arranged marriage, 90% of stories write protagonists that do everything in their power to escape and express their individuality and freedom. But I like that this story is kind of exploring the idea of duty and how we as people deal with the concept. I also just in general like it's exploring the political things surrounding it. Like I love that frank conversation Taneli had with the king about marrying him for the kid to become the ruler, and he was completely unoffended seeming. This was just a real refreshing approach since as much as I love freedom, I also love talking about when duty needs to override freedom. As for what I like about the comic's story is that this really feels like a tabletop campaign. So many stories claim to be tabletop rpg-like, but they really deviate from the feel I imagine when I think of such a story. So I kind of like that this comic captures that spirit of adventure perfectly. As for the comic's overall strengths, for me it's just kind of the whole fantasy package. Between the art, the world-building, story's feel of being a tabletop, I think the comic is like the epitome of high fantasy and hits all the notes I personally believe high fantasies need to hit. So if someone said fantasy comic, this would be at the top of the list for a comic I would think of.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 2

9. Why do you think King Rishor was murdered, and why was Taneli seemingly framed in the process? Also, how do you think Leo got involved in everything, and how big of a role do you think he had in the plot?

10. What do you think will happen to Kitov and company as they search for answers and try to avoid capture? Will the group be able to find Leo, and if so, will that be enough to clear their names of suspicion?

11. Given Kitov and Taneli are both similar in regards to their experience levels, how do you think the events of the story will change them and their perspectives on the world? In what ways do you think they’ll remain the same?

12. How do you think the world itself will be affected by King Rishor’s death? Could it escalate into a war, or might Minash Turgal change for the worse? How will this affect characters like Lirre who helps Kitov and company out?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

RebelVampire

I get the impression King Rishor was probably murdered for two reasons. Once, to destabilize the country/kingdom/w/e you wanna call it, and two to start some sort of war (hence why you frame Taneli). Leo I think is just the pawn of someone else. In some ways, I kind of feel like Leo is a victim of great pain and that pain was somehow manipulated for nefarious means. As for Kitov and company, I think they'll find Leo, but heck no will that clear them of suspicion. You can't just escape and have no consequences or continued suspicion. That will not play into their favor. SO they're gonna have to just dig deeper and deeper into the plot and still run from the law at every turn. Though I do kind of feel they'll wind up back home at some point and find out things are bad there too somehow. As for the world itself, since I already mentioned this, I do think there's gonna be war brewing. Maybe not get to the point where it happens, but people will be scrambling around to prevent it and there'll probably be lots of angry people causing havoc in Minash Turgal cause these are the sorts of things where people need someone to blame. I think Lirre will probably be fine because I don't want to think about bad things happening to Lirre O_O Finally, regarding Kitov and Taneli changing. I think they're both gonna gain some smarts from this. I feel like Kitov could learn some more street smarts and learn that not every nice seeming person is a good person and that it's okay to distrust people you just met. Meanwhile, I think Taneli is just gonna learn the struggles normal people go through outside of the sheltered life she's lived, and that she'll be much wiser when it comes to politics. However, I think they'll both remain lovely people who are sweet and have that twinkle in their eye.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I feel like the murder of King Rishor was foreshadowed on this page: https://cryptsandcantrips.kytri.net/comic/twelve-4/ With the whole "obviously the people like me, because if they didn't, they'd vote to replace me" bit. Like, sure, that's true on a country-wide scale... but votes are majority rule, not unanimous. And sometimes... the smaller group of people who disagree with you can be very vocal.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 3

13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic?

14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Taneli's my favorite too. She's very sheltered, but her heart's in the right place and she's adjusting as fast as she can, and she's active and enthusiastic which is great for plot motion. Plus, she gets the best clothes. I like the worldbuilding of "actually, our country has all kinds of mold-breaking things like non-hereditary elected rulers and public transportation." Here's hoping it catches on more widely. Leo's plotting is...complicated. Escorting the Princess gave him a great opportunity to get close for the assassination, and since he had the stuff in the luggage, it seems like he was plotting it the whole time. But the fact that Taneli was a Princess at all was supposed to be a secret from everyone except Kitov, right? The others were all surprised when it came out. Was it a plan that only came together when he arrived, and the poison was just planted to frame the others? Or was the poison in the luggage all along, and the secrecy of the whole mission was compromised from the beginning? Unrelated, I thought the sexual-orientation references were well-done. It's not like the whole cast sat in a circle and announced a list of identities each -- it came up naturally in one conversation with a few people, and they mentioned the parts of their experience that were relevant. Also really liked "masculinization potion." Some of the trans-related vocabulary stuck out from the rest of the dialogue, but this feels natural -- like, of course, those are the words a Medieval D&D Fantasy Person would use for it.

RebelVampire

What I'm most looking forward to seeing in the comic is probably just more of the plot revealed as to why assassinate the king and finding the whole motivation behind everything. Just because I'm hoping it opens up more questions to explore and also helps build the world. My final words are simply that this is a lovely comic with likeable characters and I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes in terms of plot since the plot has definitely caught my interest.

Kytri

Hi, uh this is my first post here. I'm the writer/artist of Crypts and Cantrips. The week is over in about half an hour in my time zone, and I just wanted to stop in and say thanks for including my comic and for everyone's kind words.

My comics tend not to spark much discussion or feedback so it was a really nice change of pace.

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Crypts and Cantrips this week! Please also give a special thank you to Kieran Thompson for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Crypts and Cantrips, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://cryptsandcantrips.Kytri.net/

Kieran’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Kytri

Kieran’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/itsKytri

Kieran’s itch.io Store: https://Kytri.itch.io/

Kieran’s Teepublic page: https://www.teepublic.com/user/Kytri

Kieran’s TWITTER: https://twitter.com/Kytri

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic book club #webcomic bookclub #crypts and cantrips #crypts & cantrips #kieran thompson #comic tea party #ctp

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beanenigma · 5 years ago

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12/12/12 tag

I was tagged by @livvywrites to answer 12 questions in character about my OC, ask 12 questions to other people’s OCs and tag 12 people to answer them.

I’ll be answering as Juniper Graham from my WIP Doorways.

What teachings from your parents still affect you to this day? Do you wish that they didn’t?

Hey, listen, buddy, my mother was a selfish woman and she didn’t give me anything. Actually, no, no. Scratch that. She gave me a fear of commitment and a truckload of unresolved issues I’ll probably end up shoving into a very heartfelt short movie one day - or like, throw them in a boyfriend or something. Both I wish she didn’t.

I guess I could say she did give me a magic education, which was pretty cool of her? Not that I intend to use most of it, but hey, all my friends think the tricks I can do are pretty cool.

Who is the person who has made the greatest impact (good OR bad) on you, and who you are today?

Oh, wow. I don’t know. Let me think. My dad was pretty cool, growing up. He’d tell me to be nice and other parent stuff like that that my mother was too emotionally unavailable to do. Becky… Becky pretty much taught me everything I know about living here and the uni and everything.

But I guess I’d have to say Kieran. The size of the business he has built while keeping moral standards? I mean, it’s pretty impressive. He definitely made me see magic in a different way. As more of a right and less of… An heirloom, an obligation. He made me realize there are other people around who are struggling to do things or learn things and that people like us have a duty to help them.

If you could do anything, without strings or consequences attached, what would you do?

Like, anything? In the whole wide world? Out of the limits of possibility even? I’d love to become a goddess. And people would come to my shrines and leave me animation DVDs and puppies and soy burgers with swiss cheese, all to appease my wrath.

A genie gives you three wishes. What would you wish for?

Three wishes. Okay. First of all, I’d like an animator job at TreeHouse Studios. Uh… I’d like a big ass penthouse apartment in downtown Port Haven. And… Maybe find my dad? I don’t know. Might be cool to know what he’s been up to all those years.

When you go to pack for something—whether it be as simple as tucking items in your pocket for a normal day, or an overnight trip—what are three or so items that you couldn’t live without?

It really depends. I normally have a jasper necklace I can’t get away from. It’s for courage. When the stone starts losing its influence, I just change it up for a new one. Then I also take my sketchbook everywhere. And I’m gonna include a pencil with it and count as one item. And then I definitely say my phone. My… Occupation requires constant communication.

Is there someone in your life you can’t live without? Who are they, and what is your relationship like?

I’m very proud to be a very independent person. But there is someone. My dog Cerberus. He’s the best boy, and our relationship is I feed him and give him pets and he allows me to live in his vicinity.

What do you think your childhood self would think of you now? How is your life different from what you pictured then?

Okay, we’re going to the heavy stuff. Ah… I guess she’d be proud? I’m doing what she wanted. Living by myself. Not doing magic. Studying art to make her little drawings better. I’m still not exactly where I thought I’d be, but I’m definitely closer: I have friends. I have a job. I have a dog. I think she’d be happy to be in my place.

How do you feel about where you are now? About the person you are now? What, if anything, would you change about yourself?

I feel like I’m doing pretty good. But as I said, I’m still working on it, you know? I still have to get done with college and find a job in my field. But I’m on the right track. If I could change something about myself… I guess I would try to be more open to people? I know a lot of people but I don’t really have that many close friends.

What do you do to de-stress, and take your mind off of things?

Like any good londrine witch, I like to make a nice warm cup of tea.

What is the most ridiculous thing that you can recall doing? Do you remember why you did it?

The most ridiculous thing? That’s hard. I’m often told I’m ridiculous. I guess it was the time I brought a frog home from the street and tried to hide it in my room from my mom, but it got loose and I never found it again… But sometimes I’d hear some distant croaking on the walls. I did it because I was bored, probably.

If someone were to record what was happening to you, the story of your life, how would you want to be portrayed?

Like an animation of course! Very stylized, with my big ass nose as my defining feature and my ponytail flying into the horizon! And I would have a magic pencil and Becky, Cerberus and I would go around solving very stupid crimes or whatever.

Ah, the story of my actual life? Ah, it could be a slightly more realistic animation… That’d work too.

What is your ideal future life like? When all is said & done, what does peace look like to you?

Like I said, penthouse downtown. It has a little greenhouse for me to plant my own tea. I might even do my own blends. Very fancy stuff. My walls have all the prizes for the animations I directed. I still have haelishes, the same breed of dog as Cerberus. And, hmm… I might settle down with someone eventually. We can lay down in a rainy day and watch something together. Sounds like paradise to me.

My questions and the tags under the cut!

My questions are:

1. Did you ever have a pet? What was your relationship like with it? If you had more than one, can you pick a favorite?

2. If you could move anywhere, where would it be?

3. Growing up, what was the job you wanted to have?

4. What was the hardest thing you ever had to do?

5. Have you ever lost something really valuable to you? What was it? Where and how did you lose it?

6. If you find yourself locked inside a room, what is your first instinct to try and escape?

7. If you could pick a weapon to represent you, which one would it be?

8. What could have been if you had made different choices?

9. Where do you see yourself in five years?

10. What do you consider something only you can do?

11. Do you have a favorite game? Which one is it? How is it played?

12. If all else fails, who can you count on?

To do this, I tag @astroswriting @outplacedwriter @kasey-writes @aj-the-satyr @izzuniiwrites @tiramisueme @greenwood-writes and whoever else wants to do it, I suppose!

#writing tag #writing meme #junipergraham

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soulkiba · 6 years ago

Note

give us all twenty answers!!!

Alright here we go!!!(Small headsup though, I’m only like halfway through Ch.3 rn so I don’t know everytging yet but I’ll try!)1. High honor or low honor? Why?- Definetely High Honor cause really, Arthur is a good boah and thats a fact.But nah, I actually always do High Honor like playthroughs and can usually not bring myself to do a low honor one again, I just want everyone to be happy and nice ;;2. Do you think Dutch was always unhinged?- I definetely don’t think he always was, it’s almost like he just get’s more and more disillusioned the more parts of his “plan” fail or eventually go wrong. I’m sure he had good intentions but eventually got buried under his ambitions. Again, I’m not too far into the story but from what I’ve seen so far, it just kinda seems that way to me.3. Favorite song in the game? - Let’s be real, the entire Soundtrack is absolutely amazing and I didn’t manage to listen completely through yet because I’m constantly close to tears but Cruel, Cruel World and the House Building Theme have to be my favourites rn.4. Who is the most misunderstood character? - I’m really not sure about this one tbh, I guess I would have to say Kieran cause almost no one really seems to give him much of a chance.5. What are your thoughts on Strauss? - I really don’t know tbh, I haven’t really done enough quests with him to totally make myself a picture of him but he definetely seems kind of a cold and more or less like a harsh businessman.6. Favorite quote? - Also don’t wanna answer this one too soon since I haven’t heard to many yet but like, alot of the more serious stuff Arthur says definetely gets me.7. Funniest moment? - So far probably when Arthur blew up the pile of shit or Margarets questline. Also Arthur hearing about Dinosaurs for the first time and almost everything with Sean cause his accent just cracks me up so often.8. Favorite ship(s)?- Oh I pretty much love most ships with Arthur alot. I’m not super sold about Arthur/Dutch or Arthur/John cause I still view Dutch more as an Father Figure and John more as an Brother but I still love all the wonderful artwork. I adore Abigail and John alot too, Charles and Arthur is a great ship too. Oh and Dutch and Hosea too! 9. Most shocking death?- Since no one really has died yet and I more or less already know who’s gonna die, I’m not sure how much they will shock me yet but without spoiling, one that more or less involves uh...a head really caught me off guard.10. Most satisfying death? - I mean, if Micah dies probably that one. But nah, just kidding, so far none was really satisfying but not many people died yet anyways.11. Do you believe Jack is John’s son? If not then who do you think it is?- I would assume he probably is, atleast I wouldn’t really know who elss his Dad could be.12. Best moment in the game?- Honestly theres so many good moments even so far in, it’s kinda hard to pick but like, that one Quest where Arthur stood on the Oil Wagon to stop the train is still pretty epic.13. Favorite character that’s not a gang member- I definetely like Albert alot, his Quests are really fun to do and I adore the chemistry he and Arthur have. I actually like Beau alot too.14. Favorite campfire song?- Yeah I gotta give that one to the good old Ring Dang Doo. 15. Most underrated character?- Oh thats hard to say since I feel like alot of the Characters are talked about and appreciated from what I’ve seen in the fandom. Maybe some of the Side Quest characters or “less” important Gang members. I still like Kieran alot and I feel like Hosea is sometimes a bit underrated too.16. If R* were to make a third RDR game, what would you want it to be about and who would you want the protagonist to be?- I think what could be really cool would be another prequel where you would play as either Dutch or Hosea. I think it would be cool to see how they meet and gather the rest of the Gang. 17. Did you help John escape or go back for the money? Why? - I wasn’t at that part yet so I can’t say, sorry ;;18. Which gang member do you wish Arthur interacted with more? - As far as Chapter 3 goes, probably Kieran or Reverend. Josiah too tbh.19. Which gang member death affected you the most? - Spoiler Alert here!But I can already tell you that I’m totally going to cry once Arthur eventually has to go. I haven’t cried about a video game since playing MGS4 but god, this will definetely wreck me. :’D20. What was your first horses name? And is there a meaning behind it?- I think it actually was Molly? Not named after the Molly at camp, it was just kinda the first thing I thought about, with no real meaning either, I just liked the Name alot.Thanks alot for asking! And sorry about any typos ;;

#rdr2 #Anonymous

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chocolatecarstairs · 6 years ago

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qoaad theories

i’ve had these theories for so long but i never got around to sharing them. talk about doing stuff at the last minute! (minor spoilers if you haven’t read the leaked first 3 chapters of queen/tmi spoilers)

also a disclaimer: i know that some people have gotten their copies early and might be able to confirm/deny these rumors, but i am not one of those people. these are all theories i’ve had written down and dated in a notebook for varying amounts of time. if you are one of the people who got their copies early (you lucky, lucky bastards) please, please, please don’t confirm or deny any of these theories or correct them or spoil anything about the book for me and everyone else who is still waiting for their copy. (at the end of this post i’ll explain how i’ll tag spoilers for those of you who wish to not see them to be able to block and avoid)

the parabatai curse has something to do with heavenly fire: basically jules and emma have both described burning sensations and extreme heat so many times in the series. (ex; emma always notes that julians skin feels hot to the touch, in lm the day after emma heals jules from the posion arrow he applies runes to her and she notices that they burn and sting which is the opposite of what is supposed to happen when your parabatai gives you runes) and in the leaked first three chapters after julian and emma almost frick-frack julian rushes off and looks at his parabatai rune in the mirror and its like glowing and has flecks in it? which is exactly how jace’s eye are describe in cohf when he still doesn’t have the heavenly fire under control and he loses control kissing clary in the alley. we’ve actually never really seen what the heavenly fire does longterm. clary traps the heavenly fire in the morgernstern sword just days after jace got it so it could reason that the heavenly fire drives people insane after a while because they’re not equipped to handle something so divine and powerful. it also could do it quicker to people who don’t have extra angel blood. i also think that this could have something to do with the snippet cassie released about emma’s marks (we all assumed it meant her marks disappeared but i have a feeling that’s not the case.). the snippet was entirely out of context and i think cassie posted it that way on purpose. she wanted us to believe that emma’s marks had disappeared but maybe they were actually glowing like julian’s parabatai mark had been (which could be one of the physical changes cassie mentioned.) and this is how the curse and the heavenly fire will take affect.

diego is going to die: i hate to even type this one out bc over the course of the series i’ve actually grown to like diego as a character, but i think he’s going to die in qooad. jaime will (presumably) be living in la for twp as he is an important character in that series, and i don’t think he’d leave the mexico institute if he hadn’t experienced some great tragedy that made it too painful for him to stay. i know that’s a stretch, but it isn’t my only reason for thinking perfect diego is kicking the bucket. he is currently in a marriage contract w zara and i don’t see the dearborns letting him out of it that easily. even if he can’t give them the heirloom i could see zara and horace forcing him to marry into the family as punishment and as security that if the heirloom ever does turn up zara will be able to use it to invade faerie. not to mention, he is harboring kieran at the sholomance which at the very least would be frowned upon by the clave and considered abominable by the cohort, but it also quite probably illegal. with horace as the new inquisitor and the mortal sword out of commision the cohort will probably spin a tale of treason and faerie-sympathizing on the part of diego and his friends that helped him hide away kieran. this will probably make him a target for everyone in the cohort. not to mention i feel like his storyline will wrap up at some point in qoaad and i could even see him dying in some way to save cristina and repay this debt he feels he owes her for breaking her heart (not to mention he is obviously still in love with her.).

we’re not going to see too much of ty actually mourning, but what we do see is gonna be heart-wrenching: we all know ty is going to try to use necromancy to bring livvy back from the dead (which was one of my earlier theories about qooad) and that the only reason ty isn’t a mess over her death is because he thinks she’ll be back with him soon enough. obviously, almost none of us believe this is going to work and we’re fully prepared for livvy to stay dead. i don’t think ty is going to realize that there is no way to bring her back until way later if not the very end of the book and watching him come to that realization is going to be an incredibly emotional experience for not just us as readers, but for kit and dru, and especially for ty himself. livvy and ty had a bond that i think was even closer than the parabatai bond and so watching him go through the stages of grief and finally accept the fact that his twin and partner and best friend (who as it had been mentioned before he has literally never gone without her a day in his life and has never been in a world she wasn’t in) is dead is going to be one of the most tragic losses/parts of not just the dark artifices but the entire shadowhunter chronicles.

zara dies, horace lives: kind of a simple theory but i’m 50/50 about zara making it out of this series alive. i have nothing to base this on but a gut feeling. i just really feel like one of the dearborns is going to die and think it would be a better death if it was zara. it’s kind of dark and twisted but zara dying would be an amazing cosmic punishment for horace. he would be going on in a world where the only person he had in life (it’s been mentioned his wife is dead and so far they haven’t mentioned any other family) is gone.

the cohort isn’t going anywhere just yet: in fact, i think whatever happens in qoaad will just give them more power. livia’s watch will (hopefully) give them a run for their money, but at the end of the day i don’t see them being disbanded or falling apart. cassie has even said that at the end of the book things will be “not great for a lot of people”. i think she meant downworlders and non-racist nephilim. people like alec, jocelyn, and aline (and presumably cristina and diana) who have fallen in love with and been involved in serious relationships with downworlders or part downworlders. people like helen, mark, and kit who have downworlder/faerie blood. and finally for allies to the nephilim like maia, lily, magnus, luke, kieran, gwyn and so on who will likely bear the brunt of whatever the cohort has planned.

ragnor fell is shade: not a very original or well thought out theory. just the only person i can think of that we’ve seen before who is green and could possibly have a relationship with church. (he was very good friends with magnus in basically every series of tsc. church was taken care of by magnus for some time after jem became a silent brother which could explain how he and ragnor would know each other.)

kieran is heading back to faerie: i wanna see the hot faerie threesome last just as much if not more than everyone else out there but i have a feeling it’ll be a one and done type of thing. i see kieran either heading back to the unseelie court as king or a prince (hopefully the unseelie king dies) or being reclaimed into the wild hunt. if adaon takes the kings place i think he would welcome kieran back into the court as a prince and kieran would have some sort of gentry responsibility. if kieran is king then as it's been stated before “a king of faerie can have no human consort.” cassie even replied with that quote to a since-deleted tweet that i believe was about keirark or kieraktina. if kieran isn’t brought back to the unseelie court and the unseelie king dies gwyn will probably take kieran back into the hunt. the only reason kieran isn’t with them right now is bc the unseelie king wants him dead, so it stands to reason that, if the king is dead and the courts don’t claim kieran, gwyn will take him back to the wild hunt.

julian will sever the parabatai bonds (parabatai theory #1): we already know that the parabatai curse will be resolved “one way or the other” and right now the only substantial and viable option we’ve been given (besides jules or emma dying which is a fat NOPE) is the severing of all parabatai bonds using the black volume. it’s been heavily hinted at, if not flat-out stated, that julian is more than willing to sever the bonds if it means keeping emma and his family safe. julian and emma will be sent on a quest to faerie seemingly to retrieve the black volume and return it to horace/ the clave. according to one of the snippets, they apparently bring it to the seelie queen and she will only tell julian how to break the bonds. i personally don’t think cassie would have done it this way if julian was just going to tell emma right after. either she won't want to know or he’ll refuse to tell her, so i don't think she’ll even be able to break the parabatai bond. (unless they have to do it together which would be super cool) and i’ve mentioned it before, but cassie has said that the shadowhunter world will be changed forever in and leading up to twp and that the storyline would deal with how the protagonists and other characters adapt to those changes. i really feel like one of those changes could be the breaking of the parabatai bonds.

cortana is the key to breaking emma and julian’s parabatai bond (parabatai theory #2): throughout the series, there have been multiple references made to the fact that cortana can cut through anything (ex; using cortana emma killed a rider of manaan which was previously thought to be impossible, emma also destroyed the mortal sword in combat using cortana). if cortana can truly cut anything then surely it should be able to cut the bond between emma and julian. i don’t know exactly how that would work, but this could also tie in with the severing of all parabatai bonds. maybe you need a blade made by wayland the smith to severe them. anything is possible.

that’s basically it on my theories for qoaad. i don’t know if any of them will come true, but i had a lot of fun theorizing over the past year and a half while i waited for queen. in the past couple weeks i’ve reread cohf, lady midnight, and lord of shadows in preparation for queen of air and darkness, so i only posted the theories i thought were relevant or most likely based on the proof i had from those previous books. maybe once i’m done with queen i’ll make a separate post of all the theories i had that were correct or partially correct.

since queen comes out tomorrow (technically today since it’s 5 AM) i wanted to make this long overdue announcement. i know i don't have a ton of followers (100 as of just recently!! thank you guys sm!), but many of you guys are tda or shadowhunter fans, so from now until sometime in january (likely january 4, but possibly later as i know some people will be getting the book for christmas) i will be tagging nearly all queen of air and darkness posts with the tags #qoaadspoilers, #qoaad spoilers, #queen of air and darkness spoilers (with the exception of things we already know like stuff from snippets or non-spoilery pictures). if you don’t wish to see any spoilers from me you can block these tags. that way posts tagged as such won’t show up on your news feed. i know a lot of other blogs are doing the same, so it’s a pretty great way to block spoilers all across the board (even cassie recommended it)! if any of you want to know anything specific about the book feel free to pm me, i've literally been talking about this book for weeks so once i know what its actually about i’ll be more than happy to rant about it with any of you!

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fireheartblackthorn · 6 years ago

Text

SPOILER REVIEW OF LORD OF SHADOWS

* This is my second time reading Lord of Shadows

STARTED: 12/01/19 FINISHED: 21/01/19

I have so many feelings, probably too many feelings on this book and I gotta get them off of my chest, holyyyyyy. All I’m saying is that I would sacrifice myself to save the Blackthorn family, they deserve the entire freaking world, I adore this series so much. Honestly one of my favourite series I’ve ever read, it still doesn’t beat TID (Cassie Clare went above and beyond on that trilogy) but its deFINITELY UP THERE. These characters, this plot, everythinggggg about this damn book got me. I have bookmarked and sticky-noted specific parts of the book that hit me right in the feels ( Both gOOD AND BAD EMOTIONS) and here they areeeeee!!

THINGS I LIKED (in particular):

* Christina, Mark and Kieran’s relationship. I was a sucker for Mark and Kieran in lady midnight + was super conflicted about mark falling for christina but woahhhh is it weird to ship them all together?? Lol idc, i still do. They all just fit together, so nicely. Ngl I’m low-key worried about whats going to happen to Kieran, I feel awful for him. Now that he know’s the truth, and he didn’t even testify but he’ still being hunted by the unseelie court, he can’t return to faerie nor can he stay in Idris and he wants things done with Mark. That gets me!!! I love how Christina is able to calm both of these angsty faerie boys ;)

* The low-key (but kinda not even low-key) throwbacks to TID and Will’s generation (JUST ALL OF THE WILL + Jem bits). I love how Clare kept referring to Jessamine in the London Institute, and the small will bits. No character as ever affected me the same way will herondale has, and how Kit was talking about “some idiot called will” who wrote in all the first editions and how Emma was looking at a picture of jem and will together. I feel like i’m dying whenever their relationship is mentioned. When tessa was advising Emma on getting someone to stop loving you, I just realised she was referring to what Will tried to do in TID. :( Alsooo, um how tf is Bridget still alive!!!!!!! She’s actually ancient and I’m confusedddd. When Bridget giggles at the plate of scones + she’s thinking of Sophie and Gideon aw

* Gwyn Ap Nudd! (+ Diana’s relationship) Those two have single-handedly made me believe in love. I love how Gwyn Ap Nudd may be the ancient leader of the wild hunt and yet he’s still a good “man” who shows kindness to Mark, and has honour. I wish everyone was like Gwyn. My favourite part of this freaking book was Gwyn being all cute and shy to Diana when he asks her on a date. Adorable!

* Diana’s back story. She deserves the entire freaking world, I hope she’s able to sort it out with the clave, I don’t want it to be used against her in the future. And I’m so glad she found someone like Gwyn who likes her and doesn’t care that she was born in a man’s body.

* The gayness in this book + the LGBTQ+ representation. We loving raging bisexuals, lesbians, gays, pansexuals + transgender peeps. AND I STAN A WOKE AUTHOR

* Lol all I could think of when kit, ty and livvy went to blackthorn manor was how it was originally the lightwood’s house and thus the worm house. All that was going through my head was HAH ITS THE WORM HOUSE

* Freaking mark + kieran’s language, + post-faerie talk + actions (if that makes sense). Like when Mark was staring distrustfully at the garden gnome, equally parts hilarious and cute

* Emma’s talk, easy-going nature: she reminds me of will lowkey and wow I’M CRYING AGAIN. Her ability to difuse tension in situations and her wit made me enjoy this book so much more. Maybe she even reminds Jem of his parabatai aw.

* TIBERIUS BLACKTHORN AND CHRISTOPHER HERONDALE AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP. THE END

* The poetry that was Julian’s feelings and words towards Emma. It was beautiful, and he’s such a soft boi. Especially when he talked about how they were made from the same stardust, how freaking adorable!!

THINGS I DISLIKED:

* How believable it was that the cohort was plausible and full of facists and bigots, I bloody hated Zara Dearborn (to the point of swearing at my book). Its too realistic that a group like that can exist within the nephilim, and how it can exist in the real world. I read fantasy books to escape reality, and suddenly I feel so attacked by these characters. If I wanted this bullcrap I’d just read the news omg. (how do you make me feel this way cassandra)

* People (namely bridget) being rude to my girl Dru about her weight, she cute and curvy

* Dru lying to Jamie about her age, well not exactly lying but hiding it from him. I kind of just wish she had let him know who she was. I mean I get that she wants to be treated like an older person and not as a baby but ughhhh.

* FREAKING LIVVY DYING OFC AND PUTTING HER LIFE ON THE LINE LIKE THAT. I knew this part was coming and yet I still sobbed and dampened the pages with my freaking tears. I know that it was in Livvy’s nature to stand up and go to help her brother like that, but it doesn’t make it any better. Ty’s reaction as well, after he just agreed to be her parabatai. It was just after their family got reunited also :(. It kills me that to Julian its like he’s lost his own daughter, his baby sister and when he was cradling her and calling out for her to wake up :((((((( But then I think of how Livvy said that legend has it, when the clock chimes the hour the gates of heaven open for a moment. Livvy died when the clock chimed the hour + now I know that she’s up there at peace

* The fact that at the ending, Kit still doesn’t know what’s happened to Livvy, he just thinks something bad has happened in the chamber

* NOW THAT I’M REREADIng I know that Julian thinking about future life watching everyone growing up with Emma by his side is not gonna happen bc livvy is dead and it cuts my heart out at the hope he has that his family will be happy and reunited and safe

* I thought at first that Christina was a pretty boring character, kind of there to be able to patch up the loose ends and hold the team together but in hindsight, she’s pretty freaking incredible and I think this book more so shows that off and her qualities, than Lady Midnight does. It's a freaking talent to be that understanding and empathetic, her ability to do that beyondddd impressed and shook, kind of like how Keiran is feeling about her

* I don’t like hOW MUCH I FEEL sorry for Malcolm, He was so warped and caught up in his love, his need for vengeance, his hate and grief to be able to mourn Annabel, let go of the past and move on. I mean I’d have a pretty tough time doing that too but how his love for her eventually killed him was so awful. I couldn’t believe it the first time I read that part.

* How Annabel killed Robert, his death was like meh at first, okay. But at the same time, Alec’s reaction broke my heart + he was going to help Emma and Julian!! I don’t know if he had the time to start preparing for her exile but probably not and now the next inquisitor probably won’t react the same way

STILL 5/5 OVERALL, I LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH.

#lord of shadows #this v long #lord of shadows review #book review #LoS #lady midnight #the dark artifices #TDA #LoS spoilers #QOAAD #cassandra clare #tda review #blackthorns #goodreads #julian x emma #shadowhunters #fuck you zara Dearborn

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