#crypts and cantrips

[kytri]

I still haven’t finished that script. Changing tracks and writing something else has helped less than I hoped and now I don’t seem to be able to write anything. Full comic archive is http://cryptsandcantrips.kytri.net Find me other places https://linktr.ee/kytri

[britishassistant]

Setting The Tempo

You are exhausted.

Turns out, falling through the cracked floor into a crypt is not the way you wanted to spend this morning. Nor is attempting to fight the treasure hunters who decided to kill first, ask questions never. Especially once you realized that the people with you are only highly skilled at fighting solo.

You shudder at the memory of seeing the firebolt leave Gale’s fingers and hit the grease covered floor. Which you all were standing on.

Even now, your clothes smell faintly of char.

And then, after somehow finishing off your attackers, the four of you have spent the rest of the day entirely lost inside this place.

It’s all very well to know every square inch of the place is trapped and all the doors are locked when you have nothing to disarm or unlock them with. And the one door you did manage to unlock? With the one set of tools you found that didn’t immediately break inside the lock? Led to a room of skeletons that decided being dead was less fun than trying to get you to join their number.

You don’t even know what set them off! Astarion was just leaning against a wall, lost his footing for a moment, and then you were facing a horde of undead!

You all got as far away from that room as you physically could before setting up camp.

At least the room you’ve found is somewhat spacious. Enough that everyone can set up their tents a fair distance from each other and still have room to spare. You’ve circled the perimeter a few times, and found no hidden entrances or enemies that could take you off guard. A few small antechamers, but they only open onto the main room. All is made of that same thick stone keeping you trapped here, so unless an orthon escaped the Hells and is hiding somewhere in the bowels of this place and decides to engage in some recreational wall flattening, you should be able to rest unmolested.

Ha ha. Ha.

By the gods, you wish you were hyperbolizing.

You duck behind a pillar to tug on something a little more comfortable than the leather jerkin you’ve been stuck in for the last forty eight hours.

You’d sworn you’d never forgive Trappola for making you announce yourself as “Saer Daisy Fluffington the Third” at the last inn to receive this pack of supplies. You’d doubled down once you’d seen the “bard appropriate attire” he’d selected.

Right now though, when you’re pulling on a cotton shirt and pants that feel as light and fluffy as clouds compared to your battered armor? Shoes worn to softness that ease the blisters on your feet? Not to mention fresh undergarments?

You wouldn’t be opposed to committing murder if the ginger punk needed you to, is all you’re saying.

You try and give your armor and boots a rudimentary wash with the carafe of water you’ve scavenged. The leather and cloth doesn’t look too much cleaner by the time you’re through, but hopefully it’ll mean some of the smoke smell dissipates once it dries.

You spot Gale standing by the fire. Maybe he knows some of those cantrips that make cleaning easier? Prestidigitation, perhaps? Worst he can say is no, or that he’s all out of energy for the day.

You amble over, mouth opening—

“Go to Hell.”

You stiffen on instinct, your lip curling. “And a good evening to you too.”

Gale lets out a wry laugh.

“Glad to know you’re a good sport.”

You’re really not sure what in your tone communicated that to him, but you’re not going to start a fight after everything you’ve been through today.

He resumes staring at the fire, a solemn set to his brow.

“‘Go to Hell.’ An everyday expression. So trivial it’s almost meaningless. But we’ve been to Hell. It’s real. And it isn’t trivial.”

You say nothing.

“Devils, dragons, mind flayers— they used to be abstracts. Pictures on a piece of paper.” Gale mutters. “What a difference a day makes. Now we have tadpoles slithering through our heads like carnivorous foeti.”

He looks to you, beseeching. “That’s not abstract.”

Perhaps you should take a gentle touch. Be the soothing reassurance he so clearly wants you to be.

But you’re tired and you’re sore and you’d rather say what you’re actually thinking for once before you go mad.

“Abstract or not, by now it’s kind of academic.” You spread your hands wide. “Brooding will get us nowhere. Action will.”

The wizard’s brow furrows, and his head tilts slightly to the right.

“The ballet of flames invites reflection. But, you’re right. Let’s be up with the lark—find a healer before the wee one gets hungry.” He smiles at you.

You nod. “Best plan I’ve heard all day. Good night, Gale.”

He preens slightly at that, preparing to turn away and head to his tent.

“Oh, and Gale?”

“Hm?” He looks back at you.

“Next time, I’d advise against using that line on anyone who lived through the Descent of Elturel.” You lean in, conspiratorial. “Hardly the most pleasant associations.”

The wizard actually blanches, a wave of emotion sweeping across his face.

You give him a tight smile as you turn, making a beeline for the stone door to the antechamber you’d noticed earlier.

A large hand clamps down around your elbow, jerking you to a stop.

“What were you two talking about?” Shadowheart asks, with feigned nonchalance that belies the steel in her grip.

“What do you mean?” You reply.

“You, and Gale.” Her hold tightens as you try to gently pull away. You can feel how much stronger she is than you.

How easily she could wrench your arm from its socket, if she so chose.

“We were just discussing next steps.” Your jaw is clenched as you smile. “It’s important we’re all on the same page, after all.”

“I see.” She tilts her head forward, exhaling slightly through her nose. Then she says, “I’d be careful with Gale. All wizards care about power, and there’s very little they won’t do to get it.”

You can’t help the small snort that escapes you. “I was hardly confiding in him. Besides, he’s as involved in this as we are. No harm in just talking.”

“So am I.” She holds up her free hand, as if to soothe you. “If we’re to survive, we need to trust each other.”

“Really.” You eye her hand on your arm. Pointedly.

“Yes, really.” Shadowheart breezes onward, “You seem reliable. I think you know how important it is that we find someone who can cure us. Best to focus on that.”

“Why, how bizarre!” You exclaim in mock astonishment. “Gale was just saying the exact same thing! It’s almost as though the others in this camp have the same priorities we do.”

She scowls at you, doing that odd little exhale again. “Just—! Mind who you associate with. It may come back to bite you, if you’re careless.”

“Fine. Now, if it pleases you,” You say in your most sickeningly sweet voice. “I’m afraid I must excuse myself to climb inside a tomb, curl into a little ball, and gibber my merry way into madness so that we can set out at first light in a timely manner. If I’ve your permission?”

Shadowheart’s lip curls but she lets your arm go, dismissing you with a toss of her braid as she makes her way back to her tent.

You pull a face at her back, then when you notice Astarion smirking at you, stick your tongue out at him too for good measure.

Finally, you heave open the door to the tiny antechamber you discovered earlier, pulling it shut behind you.

You spare a moment to go around the room, lighting the dust-covered torches.

Then you crouch down in a corner behind a sarcophagus, and try to scream into your hands as quietly as possible.

After a guilty two minutes of indulging in that luxury, you bite your tongue to force yourself silent.

That’s quite enough of that. You won’t get anywhere if you keep just reacting like you have so far, or let yourself get overwhelmed by it all. You need to get your brain to stop panicking and think.

Action over brooding.

It’s the only way you’ll survive.

Okay. So.

1. You have a mind flayer tadpole in your head.

2. You are trapped in a set of dark and musty ruins with three strange adults.

3. All of these adults, over the course of the short time you’ve known them, have shown a remarkable capacity for violence with very little provocation. They’re certainly more capable in combat than you, with your purloined crossbow and flute.

4. These strangers are all also implanted with a mind flayer tadpole, just like you. Though, you will admit, their survival and your own is…odd.

5. All the kidnapped thralls on that ship, many instantly killed in the crash, if not by the creepy little brains on legs after the fact. And yet you and these three adults somehow survive? How? Why you? Why them?

6. One of whom begged you to let her out of her pod, only to grow cold when she realized you weren’t alone. The other two who both admitted they were watching you as you tried to escape. If it’s a coincidence, it’s an odd one. But they all seemed to be as unknown to each other as they are to you. Unless they’re not?

7. They could all be in cahoots! And spies for the Order of the Companion or the Hellriders! You don’t know! You don’t know anything about these people!!

8. You can’t sleep because if you sleep one of them will try to kill you or the others or tie you up and use you in some creepy evil deity summoning ritual or send you back to Avernus again or they’ll turn into a mind flayer and suck out your brain or you’ll turn into a mind flayer and—

9. you can’t breathe

10. You can’t breathe.

11. You’re panicking too much. You can’t breathe. This is all a big fuss over nothing. You can’t breathe. Your thoughts are going into a corkscrew. You can’t breathe, you need to get ahold of yourself, you can’t breathe, you need to do something, you can’t breathe you need help you can’t breathe you need you can’t breathe you need—!

You lurch forward, seizing a discarded piece of masonry and dragging it into your lap.

You try to focus on the cold weight crushing your legs and stomach, try to recapture that distant memory of your heart slowing, of your mind clearing, of feeling safe.

Instead, you just feel like you’re hugging a rock as you struggle for air.

Alone.

You only drop off when your body finally succumbs to exhaustion.

Your sleep is fitful and brief, and you wake in the wee hours of the morning.

In the cold dark before dawn, you feel deep embarrassment at your histrionics last night.

So what if these adults could easily kill you? You used to manage violent thugs just like them on a daily basis. Just because you don’t have the shield of a desk doesn’t mean this has to be any different.

Hells, the fiasco that was the fight yesterday is proof enough none of them knew each other prior to this. So they’re likely to be as confused and panicked as you are. Maybe even more.

You can work with that. The Descent taught you that you excel under pressure, rallying disparate arseholes together around the common cause of ‘not dying horribly’.

And if they really are plotting together to capture you and return you to Elturel…

Well.

You now have an illithid tadpole in your head. You haven’t lived this long without learning how to leverage what little you’re given to your advantage.

First things first, you need to list the facts, set some actionable goals. Properly, this time.

First, escape this ruin. There was a locked door past all the trapped sarcophagi which might be promising if you can get to it. If you can’t disarm the traps, can you get around them somehow?

Second, find a healer/other specialist who can extract this parasite. Your alien warrior was adamant it could be done once you all reached the material plane. It’s up to you now to find out how.

Third, ensure the three violent adults don’t kill you, kill each other, or run off. They may be dangerous, but you’ve a much higher chance of surviving with them than without. Even if that means navigating the volatile group tensions that have already begun to spark.

Fourth, and only to be enacted once you’re all safely cured, is to extract yourself from these weirdos as swiftly as you can with the least amount of bad feeling possible. From there, you can make your way to Baldur’s Gate.

If you can meet up with the group of tiefling refugees you heard about on the way or once you’re in the city, so much the better.

Your original plans aren’t ruined. You’re still going to become a bard. You’re just taking a—a detour, is all. Yes.

You’re doing this.

You’ve got to.

Of course, to that end, you need to make sure they don’t abandon you at the next sign of trouble. Given that they seem to attract fights like vinegar attracts flies, you can admit that a noncombatant who isn’t even a bard yet is more of a hinderance than a help.

So you need to make yourself useful. If not liked, then tolerated. Someone who can give them all what they want most, or at least facilitate matters in their favor. Trade an attentive ear and problem-solving for protection.

Your journal is still in your pack, but you still have half a pot of ink and a quill that’s mostly intact. Once you stop to make camp again, it’ll be easy enough to dedicate three pages to your current companions’ quirks and preferences.

You’re already thinking of semi-discrete titles for each of them as you heave yourself up and stumble over to the door, limbs stiff from a night on the cobbles.

“Wizard of Waterdeep” is nice and alliterative, easy for you to associate with Gale. You deeply appreciate how easy he’s made it for you.

Astarion…hasn’t actually told you what his profession is yet, so until you can ask him and come up with something catchy, “The Pale Elf” will have to do.

Shadowheart…is tricker still. You know she’s a cleric, but you don’t know of what deity, or much else about her. “The Conniving Cleric” is far too heavy-handed. “Lady of Faith”, perhaps? Or maybe—?

“Wha’re you stomping ‘round for?!” Comes the grumpy voice from the tent of the woman in question as you poke your head around the door. “‘S dark. ‘S still night. ‘S sacred. Lemme sleep.”

You sidle out and back over to your pack as quietly as you can while whispering, “Sorry, sorry!”

There’s a grumpy noise and a muttered oath against you that you can only partially make out.

Fuck it.

“Daughter of Darkness” it is.

[swordbisexual]

Chapter Four: Made Breath And Skin

The first night. 4.7k words

Excerpt:

There’s drink. It’s a bottle of biting fireswill, maybe, but it’s a drink, and when Shadowheart presses the cloudy green bottle into her hands, Vissenta takes it. One pull is all she can handle - true to its name, it makes her throat feel like it’s going up in flames - and the grimace on her face must be bad enough to make Shadowheart smirk, another one of those little expressions that makes Vissenta want, very badly, to be in on her secrets. She shoves the cork back into the bottle and mutters her thanks. That smirk might just mean that Shadowheart’s holding out on her and has a bottle of something even better in her pack. Granted, she’s not in a position to be choosy. Besides, echoes the same refrain that’s pounded in her skull with every step up and out of the crypt, as she stares at her own feet and marches forward, with Lae’zel in front and all the rest trailing behind. Might be the last one I have. It’s more likely that Lae’zel’s punishing pace is going to be what kills them all before the parasite has a chance to, anyway. As soon as the rest of them straggle into a clearing by the river - “A lovely little spot, all considered,” Gale said proudly, as if he’d placed the oddly picturesque little ruin by the stream himself, and hewn the boulders, and carved out the sandy curve of the river’s embankment - the gith makes no move to unpack, only hoisting her bedroll a little higher on her back. “There is still sunlight,” she says, raising her voice over Gale and Shadowheart’s immediate protests. “If we must suffer it, then we must make use of it.” “And I’ll be useless if I don’t sit down.” Vissenta rolls her right shoulder. There’s still a chill lacing her nerves from where Gale’s cantrip cut a little too close, and if she can’t muster up a little magic of her own to heal it, a good lie-down and a few swigs of Chult’s finest could at least take the edge off. For emphasis, she drops her pack and then her self to the ground, between a fallen tree and the cold ash circle where the rest of them must have made a fire the night before. Night before. Fuck me. She’d been out for longer than she thought, and gods, is she starting to feel it.

read the rest on AO3!

[jeskaim]

Commander Bans

I wasn't initially planning on posting about this but it's just so controversial I felt like I had to. Yesterday when I woke up to the news I was shocked to say the least. This past month I spent $3000 on a cEDH Birgi, God of Storytelling deck with three out of four of these cards and to say I was upset would be an understatement. I've seen a lot of people on Facebook and Instagram either celebrating the bans or, like me, expressing how bummed they are that they spent hundreds of dollars on cards for their commander decks that they can't play. I got into cEDH a few years ago with Narset and Yisan and was excited to add Birgi to my list so I decided to go all out to make it as fast and as efficient as possible. With that I decided to splurge for Dockside Extortionist, Mana Crypt, and Jeweled Lotus along with other mana rocks like Mox Diamond and Mana Vault. For Narset and Yisan I know what to replace the Lotus and Crypt with but Birgi is a little harder to find replacements since the best substitutes are already in the deck. I'm thinking about Springleaf Drum as a substitute for one of the artifacts and a cheap cantrip like Academic Dispute (I'm not sure if it technically counts as a cantrip since it lets you discards and draw with the learn mechanic and doesn't replace itself). For now I replaced Dockside Extortionist with Simian Spirit Guide which I think is good enough but I also ordered a Walking Ballista and Ragavan as other possible replacements.

For me this feels bittersweet because on one hand my cEDH decks suffered a major blow but at the same time it slowed them down enough so that more casual decks can compete better. I guess I'm just upset that I spent $400 on cards for my Birgi deck that I can't use anymore and they synergized so much with her. There's still a SLIGHT chance they'll be unbanned after the backlash so I'm going to keep them. I've seen a lot of people say they're going to keep playing with them anyway with rule 0 in casual games since Wizards doesn't care about them.

For Nadu it's just another Oko and Hogaak situation and shows that every few years Wizards prints a card that's so OP they don't know it until after it's been released. Considering how much havoc it's been causing in Modern I would say it was a good call, especially with the larger card pool in commander. Apologies to anyone who built Nadu as a commander.

And The One Ring is still $100 and is played in almost every deck in Modern.

[powdermelonkeg]

Ahem.

Introducing Nanim, heir of House Exeltis of Baldur's Gate

AKA, if Larian isn't going to give us a nonbinary companion, I'm going to make one up myself.

Quick Class details:

Wild Magic Sorcerer with a noble background, half-drow, they/them

Meeting:

In the wreckage of the Nautiloid crash, you find them cornered by three sheep. As you approach, they warn you in a panic to stay back, and the sheep attack. The aforementioned sheep are actually polymorphed Intellect Devourers.

Starting Cantrips:

Minor Illusion

Mage Hand

Shocking Grasp

Ray of Frost

Dancing Lights (drow heritage)

Starting Spells:

Disguise Self

Color Spray

Skills:

History (noble background)

Persuasion (noble background)

Arcana

Religion

Personality:

Starting off by saying they're Lawful Neutral. They grew up nobility with strict rules about when and how to behave and what to do in regards to their Wild Magic surges, so they firmly believe that anyone who is in charge is in charge for a reason, and any rules they set are SET for good reason. You can sway their opinion on this by investigating into the people in charge; for example, initially, they're on the druids' side on the tiefling vs druid conflict, because it's THEIR grove, they're allowed to let in whomever they choose, the refugees are infringing on the rules they set by staying. However, when you find out Kagha's there because Halsin's gone and Kagha's been dealing with the shadows, Nanim's like "wait a minute. You aren't qualified to lead at ALL" and reevaluates their opinion.

They are VERY sheltered as to how the world works. Courtesy of their upbringing.

Very optimistic and charismatic, VERY loyal, and will judge you if you AREN'T loyal to the company you keep. Extremely eager to explore, with little regard to personal safety due to being a Wild Magic bomb all the time. On the more negative side, they're careless, naive, a bit insensitive and pompous due to their status, very impulsive, and hedonistic. They like luxury, they don't believe in challenging rules to help those affected negatively by them, they think they're greater than they are (sorcerous hubris at its finest) and that all their opinions are correct, and they chase novelty like an addiction.

They also zone out. A lot. Like, in the middle of a conversation, a lot. It's often filled with impulsive thoughts that they're sorting into "yes" and "no" piles (examples: "Should I ask Astarion if he's also part drow? If I smack Shadowheart's braid, will she kill me? I want to poke Karlach, just to see if she's REALLY on fire or if it's illusory.") an you can use the tadpole to listen in. Don't get caught!

They're genuinely afraid of confronting their negative traits or admitting they might be wrong about something, in denial about things that don't fit their pre-established idea of themselves. Unintentionally condescending at times. Craves friends and romance both, has no idea how either work (has been to brothels, sure, but hasn't ever had a genuine connection with someone). Likes music, plays the lute. Very vain. 

Approval:

Following pre-set rules (the druids want the refugees out of the grove, the refugees want your help, you refuse to challenge the druids)

Being willing to engage with your surroundings (Eilistraee's sword, the Blood of Lathander, touching the button in Withers' crypt)

Refusing to deal with rule-breakers (the Zhentarim)

Researching/being knowledgeable about religion/history/magic (successful dice rolls)

Staying out of problems that don't concern you (declining to get involved with Ethel vs the brothers)

Taking charge and standing up for your companions (telling the Gur that Astarion's under your protection, standing up for Gale when the others want him to leave, telling Mizora off when she comes to punish Wyll)

Literally anything positive to do with the drow twins at Sharess's Caress

Disapproval:

Defying the order of things (helping the refugees, telling Minthara you'll help her)

Picking the safe route/electing to leave something alone (non-confrontational dialogue choices, abandoning the Blood of Lathander)

Dealing with blatantly bad characters (the Zhentarim, the goblin camp, that paladin that wants to steal the gith egg, Viconia, Balthazaar, Mizora)

Being genuinely dumb (licking the spider, drinking Thisobald Thorm's brew, giving your blood to Araj, waving to Vlaakith, drinking Priestess Gut's potion)

Getting involved with other people's conversations when they didn't ask for you (convincing Rolan's siblings to stay at/leave the grove, interrupting Kagha vs Arabella)

Selling people out (Astarion, Isobel, Shadowheart)

Prying into other people's heads in your party on purpose (Gale, Shadowheart, themself)

Being rude to friendly characters

Being modest and/or humble (downplaying yourself or refusing finer things in life; they want luxury and rewards, damn it!)

Some general, non-personal-quest-related dealbreaker moments (ie, moments where Nanim will permanently leave your party):

Betraying the grove (you have to roll intimidation a few times to avoid this)

The Dark Urge kills a companion on purpose (non-combat, specifically by giving in to the Urges)

Goading Orin into killing whomever she has captive

This is a very long post, so I'll split the Nanim lore into multiple parts (their history, their quest, their romance, etc) and link them here when finished.

Part 2: Nanim's History

[cagemasterfantasy]

Warlock (Undying)

Death holds no sway over your patron, who has unlocked the secrets of everlasting life, although such a prize – like all power – comes at a price. Once mortal, the Undying has seen mortal lifetimes pass like the seasons, like the flicker of endless days and nights. It has the secrets of the ages to share, secrets of life and death. Beings of this sort include Vecna, Lord of the Hand and the Eye; the dread Iuz; the lich-queen Vol; the Undying Court of Aerenal; Vlaakith, lich-queen of the Githyanki; and the deathless wizard Fistandantalus.

In the Realms, Undying patrons include Larloch the Shadow King, legendary master of Warlock's Crypt, and Gilgeam, the God-King of Unther.

Expended Spell List: The Undying lets you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a warlock spell. The following spells are added to the warlock spell list for you.

Spell Level 1: False Life and Ray of Sickness

Spell Level 2: Blindness/Deafness and Silence

Spell Level 3: Feign Death and Speak with Dead

Spell Level 4: Aura of Life and Death Ward

Spell Level 5: Contagion and Legend Lore

Among the Dead: Starting at level 1, you learn the Cantrip Spare the Dying, which counts as a warlock cantrip for you. You also have advantage on saving throws against any disease.

Additionally, undead have difficulty harming you. If an undead targets you directly with an attack or a harmful spell, that creature must make a Wisdom saving throw against your spell save DC (an undead needn't make the save when it includes you in an area effect, such as the explosion of Fireball). On a failed save, the creature must choose a new target or forfeit targeting someone instead of you, potentially wasting the attack or spell. On a successful save, the creature is immune to this effect for 24 hours. An undead is also immune to this effect for 24 hours if you target it with an attack or a harmful spell.

Defy Death: Starting at level 6, you can give yourself vitality when you cheat death or when you help someone else cheat it. You can regain hit points equal to 1d8 + your Constitution modifier (minimum of 1 hit point) when you succeed on a death saving throw or when you stabilize a creature with Spare the Dying.

Once you use this feature, you can't use it again until you finish a long rest.

Undying Nature: Beginning at level 10, you can hold your breath indefinitely, and you don't require food, water, or sleep, although you still require rest to reduce exhaustion and still benefit from finishing short and long rests.

In addition, you age at a slower rate. For every 10 years that pass, your body ages only 1 year, and you are immune to being magically aged.

Indestructible Life: When you reach level 14, you partake of some of the true secrets of the Undying. On your turn, you can use a bonus action to regain hit points equal to 1d8 + your warlock level. Additionally, if you put a severed body part of yours back in place when you use this feature, the part reattaches.

Once you use this feature, you can't use it again until you finish a short or long rest.

Source: Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide

[wardenred]

So many fantastic recs in this post, and yet it tragically misses some of the best things ever, according to me.

Finding Home: a slice of life journey, an exploration of anxiety and trauma and self-worth, a beautiful story that alternates between making the reader's mind a better place and breaking the reader into small, jagged pieces only to put you back together. There's demisexuality rep, fat rep, polyamory as a normal part of the setting, weird fae magic, and beautiful, beautiful art.

Crypts and Cantrips: this is basically a D&D campaign in webcomic form with a trans lead, an overall diverse and awesome cast, lots of exciting plot shenanigans, great worldbuilding, plenty of reasons to smile, plenty of reasons to be worried for the characters and to want to hit certain bad actors with blunt heavy objects. I love it to bits.

Aerial Magic: one of the best examples of slice of life storytelling I've ever encountered. Season 1 is about a young witch with a learning disability finding her footing in a new city and becoming part of a found family. Season 2 is about her mentor dealing with her past and giving love a better chance. It's one of those webtoons that have an amazing original soundtrack that goes so well with the art.

actually im just gonna make my own post about it: please read more webcomics. please try them. every time people make posts about “aw man i wish SOMEone would WRITE about FLAVOR OF QUEER THING/TRAUMA OR ABUSE BUT IN SPECIFIC WAYS I CAN RELATE TO/WHATEVER” and then it gets reblogged into a giant thread of people agreeing with it and demanding Content i die because whatever it is is definitely being painstakingly created by an indie author who would really like for people to consume it and every time i point this out people suddenly can’t read lmao

it is out there it is free it is being made from firsthand experiences by people who care very very deeply who would be DELIGHTED to hear that it’s resonating with anybody at all, please throw some of that enthusiasm and support at people who will actually appreciate it

if you’re an indie comic person and any of this applies to you i encourage you to reblog this with a link to your comic and a short synopsis so people can browse the notes and find shit they’re looking for. or make your own post on your own blog if you don’t want to fool with other people i don’t care this is a sign from the universe that you should be louder about what you’re working on because people can’t fucking find it apparently.

i’ll go first i make kidd commander and it’s about an ensemble cast of queers on their way to kill god, they live on an airship and they’re all too pissed off to die. it’s free to read and it’s in the middle of its third arc right now. it lives here http://kiddcommander.com/

go go go

[paupermodern]

Tournament Report 1/14/24

Pauper Modern Event at Jared’s

(my prize, a $14 foil commander card)

  By Todd Murdock

  INTRODUCTION

Our meta for the past year has been all about the RW Synthesizer decks that have for the most part, dominated the top spots in our monthly-ish tournaments. For much of that time I had been grinding away doing my best to get my mono Green Self-Assembler Tron deck to work, but I just could not keep up with all of the cantrip artifacts and newly downshifted Swiftspears. The format had just become too fast. I tried a quick stint playing my own Swiftspears with the mono red Hot Dog deck, but I just didn’t like the “if you can’t beat it, join it” feeling. I knew I could beat it. And that is when I heard people were having success with Delver of Secrets again (one of my favorites). 

The printing of Tolarian Terror in Dominaria United meant that if you played UB Delver, then you could match the Terrors with Gurmag Anglers. They both wanted a mass of spells in the graveyard, but then there was a catch. Angler wanted to delve away the spells, whereas Terror needed to keep them for cost reduction purposes. So playing them out of order was BADBADBAD and there were times when I was forced to do such things in a game. So, I had some success with that deck and felt more overall in control, but it still wasn’t quite enough to bring home the wins.

The big game changer was the printing of Lorean Revealed (a LOTR card) that lets you island cycle for one mana can’t be underestimated. You can get away with playing a 17 land card because the four copies of Lorean Revealed are lands 18-21 early game or draws three more cards in the late game.This pushed me closer to wanting to play mono blue.

The downshifting of Cryptic Serpent was also big. It is costed virtually the same as Terror, both being seven manna creatures which are cheaper for every sorcery and instant in the graveyard, but now you weren’t chopping yourself off at the knee with the delving Angler. The question was: Is giving up the black removal cards worth the consistency of playing no tap lands and just counterspells for removal? The thought of playing all basic islands with no tap lands interested me. Last month I tried that mono blue strategy and it felt much, much better. I was doing great for the day, and then I ran smack dab into Jared’s mono blue Faerie Ninjas and he literally out tempo-ed me. He just ninja’ed and spellstuttered and danced circles around me and my Delver crew. My Spell Pierces, Negates and Dispels did nothing against a well placed Spell Stutter Sprite because those were ETB triggers, I wasn’t prepared for those. I went home wounded but even more determined than ever. I knew exactly what I had to do and part of it was to think outside of my mono blue box.

And so now we have arrived here on the fourteenth of January at Jared’s on a very sunny Sunday noon. It had been cold and raining for the previous few days and it felt good to see the sun, to feel its warmth.  I surprisingly arrived first, but others started spilling in the door even before I could get all of my gear and riding armor off. Chris walked in with the pizza and we were ready to go!

HYPOTHESIS

I needed a more robust counterspell suite and to take on more of a Control role, especially in games two and three because negate was not cutting it, so I came up with Psychic Barrier and Mana Leak instead.

I also needed a way to stop things like Ninjitsu and to take out essential, one-toughness creatures to neuter a spellstutter sprite counter, so I came up with Gutshot.

MATERIALS

My Decklist  (U Delver/Serpents)

17 basic islands (very pretty ones from Streets of New Capenna)

4 Delver of Secrets

4 Tolarian Terror

2 Cryptic Serpent

2 Murmuring Mystic

4 Preordain

4 Lorien Revealed

3 Gutshot (yes, a red spell in my mono blue deck)

4 Thought Scour

3 Otherworldly Gaze

3 Consider

3 Spell Pierce

2 Vapor Snag

4 Counter Spell

1 Lose Focus

(Sideboard)

2 Tormod’s Crypt

4 Annul

2 Steel Sabotage

1 Dispel

2 Psychic Barrier

2 Mana Leak

2 Echoing Truth

  Contestants and their Decks:

 Me (Todd)-  U Serpent/Delver

Jesse- W Glitter Squad

Chris- UR Electromancer Storm

Ben- UB Proliferate Infect

Jared- U Ninja/Faeries

Rob- U Ninja/Faeries (*same build)

Brian- WB Tithing Blade

Jordan- WB Tithing Blade (*different build)

There were two other players that also began the tournament, but for personal reasons were forced to drop out in the early rounds.

PROCEDURE

Eat pizza, drink, smoke and do whatcha gotta do to get ready. Each wizard had their own unique pre-game warm-up rituals to prepare for battle.

Jesse inputs the names in the box and it gives us the match pairings.

We agree to play three fifty minute rounds, the best of 3 games wins the round.

DATARESULTS

Match 1

Me vs. Chris

U Delver/Serpent vs. UR Electromancer Storm

Game 1 - The first game went pretty fast. Chris got in some early damage, getting me down to fifteen, but I was able to fill my graveyard quickly with instants and sorceries and came out with a Tolarian Terror. I hit them for five and followed up with a Cryptic Serpent, hitting for eleven the turn after that. Chris was at four and I was holding counterspells. I had the game. 

Game 2 - The second game was a much longer and grindy-er game. They boarded in counter spells and I foolishly walked into several of them. With several delvers and serpents countered in the graveyard I finally landed a Tolarian Terror and was able to protect it. But that meant I couldn't counter Chris storming off and playing Galvanic Relay, drawing massive amounts of cards. In the end they left me at three life when I passed the turn back to them. I had a five-five serpent and was completely out of counterspells. They had no creatures and I believe no cards in hand, so if they drew a lightning bolt or any other three damage spell, then they had the game before I could finish them off with the final serpent attack. Chris drew his card…        and the serpent got to attack.

Results : I win 2-0

  Match 2

Me vs. Ben

U Delver/Serpent vs. UB Proliferate Infect

Game 1 - I play UG Infect in modern, and I had thought about building this UB Proliferate version when Phyrexia: All Will Be One came out. So I was interested in what Ben was going to do. The first game went off without a ton of interaction. He only did two damage to me, but was able to get me up to six infect before I was able to take him out with a mix of serpents and delvers.

Game 2 - This was ALL Ben’s game from beginning to end. He boarded in some counter magic and kept control. Now it didn’t help that I only had two lands for pretty much the whole game, but any time I tried to get back into the match, he just shut me down. He had 27 life and I got him to 24. I died at ten infect. Sad face. 

Game 3 - The good news was that the previous game let me see Ben’s deck running on all of its cylinders and so in this game, I knew exactly where to attack. I stuck and protected my threats while countering early infect spells. At first I was attacking with a one-one Delver. He already gained life and was up to twenty two within a few turns. Then my delver flipped. I attacked for three and I dropped a second Delver. I then hit for four damage for a few turns. When the second delver flipped, Ben was able to destroy one of them. However, I was able to replace the destroyed Delver with a Tolarian Terror, which I saw as an upgrade. I finished the game with only three infect to my name. 

Results : I won 2-1

Match 3

Me vs. Jared

U Delver/Serpents vs. U Faerie/Ninjas

So this is it, the rematch that I had been preparing for. This is the deck that caused me to build my deck this way.  Jared and I were both 2-0 so far and whoever won this match took the whole day. I took a deep breath and waited to see how things would play out. 

Game 1 - Both decks came roaring off of the starting line. Jared went first and opened with a Faerie Seer, scrying two, so I knew I was safe for a turn one Delver. On my next turn, the Delver gods were smiling and I got a first turn Delver flip! I hit Jared for three on each of the next four turns. By the time I had him at eight, he had gotten me down to twelve. It was a race.  He was hitting me for four damage each turn and with my recently flipped second Delver, I was now hitting for six. 

I like that math and I took the win.

Game 2- This game, I mull to six and am worried but end up with a good hand. I let the first several turns go by, not trying to play an early threat that I couldn't protect. I knew I had inevitability if I played my cards right. I finally had some mana and counter magic so I stuck my first Delver. I was able to attack with it twice before Jared found a way to get rid of that Delver. By then, it was too late. I was able to easily cast Tolarian Terror and keep it alive to hit for five, getting Jared down to nine life. I finished the game by landing a Cryptic Serpent and with two or three different counterspells in hand as backup, there was nothing that Jared could do to get out of the situation. Serpents for the win!

Results : I won 2-0

CONCLUSION

I came in first with U Delver/Serpent 3-0-0

Brian came in second with BW Tithing Blade 2-0-1

Jared came in third with U Faerie/Ninjas 2-1-0

Chris 1-1-1

Ben 1-1-1

Rob 1-1-1

Jordan 1-2-0

Jesse 0-3-0

REFERENCES

I chose three LOTR magic boosters as my prize. I pulled a $14 foil Last March of the Ents (pictured at the beginning of the report). It is a green card that draws cards equal to the greatest toughness of one creature, so it immediately went into my BG Shelob, Child of Ungoliant spider kindred (tribal) deck where creatures with big toughnesses are the norm. 

Which brings us to the next gathering, and I chose it to be a Command Fest. So I will bring that Spider deck along with a dozen others to play and to share and I will see you all next time. This Command Fest is a PROXY FRIENDLY EVENT. So I will be sending out an email soon with websites where you can easily (and for free)  print out your own proxies on your own color printer so people can play whatever decks and cards they want (within the commander ban list of course). I am hoping to have both casual and competitive decks and pods, so everyone is welcome! See you there! Cheers!    -Todd

[kytri]

Oof I'm very tired. I'm still doing this writing challenge for the rest of the month so I'm getting less done than I'd normally like on the layouts for chapter. Oh, also that post about scripting, including the script for chapter 13 is up on patreon now. patreon.com/kytri Full comic archive is http://cryptsandcantrips.kytri.net Find me other places https://linktr.ee/kytri

[aspeccharactersoftheday]

Aston Heybrook from Crypts and Cantrips is asexual!

[kassiekitsune]

Again, I agree with you that sol ring and mana vault should be banned too, but frankly I don't think that it's wrong to consider cards for banning because of price or accessibility.

But cards only need to be banned if they're a problem, Gaea's cradle is expensive but there's far more ways to get close to its power than there are with Crypt or the power 9, and chains self regulates by being way more of a hassle to play with than most casual players would want to deal with. Both of these things prevent them from being slotted into a random casual deck.

Sol Ring probably dodges the ban because it'd make too many people mad, and that's due to the cost of the card, nobody would care if a random 50 cent cantrip got banned. Sol Ring is ubiquitous because it's cheap AND powerful, and its ban would be unpopular because of the ubiquity. But we'll get there when we get there.

Hot take about the EDH bans is that very few people lost any real money on the day of the ban announcement

If we're honest with ourselves we know that every Mana Crypt and Jeweled Lotus that was in somebody's deck changed hands from somebody who didn't want to play with it to somebody who did want to play with it. And if you're into a game enough to spend hundreds of dollars on one game piece, you weren't going to sell it any time soon. It takes a LONG time to actually get distant enough from a hobby like this to sell a collection and never come back. And by the time we are? Hundred bucks isn't so much money when you spent it so many years ago.

You didn't lose that money when the cards were banned, you lost it when you exchanged two hundred dollars to sometimes do your thing faster and you probably didn't even have more fun doing the thing faster.

[comicteaparty]

March 30th-April 5th, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from   March 30th, 2020 to April 5th, 2020.  The chat focused on  Crypts and Cantrips by Kieran Thompson.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Crypts and Cantrips by Kieran Thompson~! (http://cryptsandcantrips.kytri.net/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace until April 5th, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Discussions are freeform, but we do offer discussion prompts in the pins for those who’d like to have them. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic! Whether you finish the comic or can only read a few pages, everyone is welcome to join and chat with us!

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 1

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic?

2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)?

3. Who is your favorite character?

4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?

5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it!

6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores?

7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content?

8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Just starting the first chapter...hmm, what is the establishment hiding, that they're so against the idea of making new maps?

And I'm intrigued by the idea of a society that's frankly & cheerfully accepting of trans people, but also, doesn't know that lesbians exist? Or has a fixation on a super-narrow PIV-specific idea of virginity. Or both? If the issue was "this person can't be allowed to get pregnant before the arranged marriage or it would be A Scandal," that would be a logical reason to divide up which sexy things are "safe" vs. which aren't, but it isn't framed that way...

Okay, end-of-the-chapter blurb says that is what it's about. It's just odd that the dialogue was coy about "the issue is pregnancy" while being so blunt about other things. (I was just reading another comic with a trans princess character, and wow, what an awkward plot twist that could lead to. "So, the good news is, there wasn't an accidental pregnancy in the direction you were afraid of, but...")

"I made a fantasy trope in this comic work the way I wish it worked in a certain other canon" is such a great motivator.

Geez, this kid's only been adventuring for 5 minutes before someone gets murdered in front of him. Poor guy.

...on the bright side, oh good, the princess is aware that lesbians exist.

Loving this axolotl dragon art. http://cryptsandcantrips.kytri.net/comic/chapter-3-extras-17/

And the orca dragon that follows.

Have now read through the Dramatic Twist. Not gonna go into details for the sake of other first-time readers, but it's more complicated than these plots usually seem to get in fantasy settings, and I'm into it.

warriorneedsfood

I like the comic. The relationships are fun to watch develop. I found the character introductions a little awkward with the announcement of their various types of sexuality. But after establishing them, I found their personalities interesting and was looking forward to reading more.

RebelVampire

What I liked about the beginning of the comic is kind of just how quickly it starts world-building with stuff like the issue of discrimination in the market or just the general name dropping of stuff. All of it felt pretty natural, and as I consider world-building vitally important for fantasy, I really liked the comic didn't hide its punches. My favorite moment was actually when the stranger on the road said "please come help my wagon" and then it devolved into them being attacked. This is like one of the most stereotypical fantasy things to happen, but that's kind of why I liked it. It added familiar comfort food with all the new stuff, and I liked just having something like that 100% met my expectations for what was about to happen. My favorite character right now is definitely Taneli. I love just how sweet and accepting she is. But I also kind of like she's just really...not entirely capable because she's lived the sheltered palace life and not gotten out much. Usually that's something I'd find annoying, but something about Taneli just makes it work so I absolutely adore how overall innocent she is even in spite of being stuck in an arranged marriage. I like seeing Kitov and Taneli interact the most. They have a beautiful, touching, and supportive relationship going on and I like how theyre similar in regards to world experience. It doesn't make it feel like either of them is somehow superior or has the upperhand, so it's just communication between equals.

RebelVampire

As for the art, I really like the character designs. They aren't overly complicated, but are each very unique as well, and I think overall they got that right fantasy DnD vibe to them that just really suits the story being told. I kind of like that the story is exploring the theme of duty and arranged marriages. Usually when it comes to arranged marriage, 90% of stories write protagonists that do everything in their power to escape and express their individuality and freedom. But I like that this story is kind of exploring the idea of duty and how we as people deal with the concept. I also just in general like it's exploring the political things surrounding it. Like I love that frank conversation Taneli had with the king about marrying him for the kid to become the ruler, and he was completely unoffended seeming. This was just a real refreshing approach since as much as I love freedom, I also love talking about when duty needs to override freedom. As for what I like about the comic's story is that this really feels like a tabletop campaign. So many stories claim to be tabletop rpg-like, but they really deviate from the feel I imagine when I think of such a story. So I kind of like that this comic captures that spirit of adventure perfectly. As for the comic's overall strengths, for me it's just kind of the whole fantasy package. Between the art, the world-building, story's feel of being a tabletop, I think the comic is like the epitome of high fantasy and hits all the notes I personally believe high fantasies need to hit. So if someone said fantasy comic, this would be at the top of the list for a comic I would think of.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 2

9. Why do you think King Rishor was murdered, and why was Taneli seemingly framed in the process? Also, how do you think Leo got involved in everything, and how big of a role do you think he had in the plot?

10. What do you think will happen to Kitov and company as they search for answers and try to avoid capture? Will the group be able to find Leo, and if so, will that be enough to clear their names of suspicion?

11. Given Kitov and Taneli are both similar in regards to their experience levels, how do you think the events of the story will change them and their perspectives on the world? In what ways do you think they’ll remain the same?

12. How do you think the world itself will be affected by King Rishor’s death? Could it escalate into a war, or might Minash Turgal change for the worse? How will this affect characters like Lirre who helps Kitov and company out?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

RebelVampire

I get the impression King Rishor was probably murdered for two reasons. Once, to destabilize the country/kingdom/w/e you wanna call it, and two to start some sort of war (hence why you frame Taneli). Leo I think is just the pawn of someone else. In some ways, I kind of feel like Leo is a victim of great pain and that pain was somehow manipulated for nefarious means. As for Kitov and company, I think they'll find Leo, but heck no will that clear them of suspicion. You can't just escape and have no consequences or continued suspicion. That will not play into their favor. SO they're gonna have to just dig deeper and deeper into the plot and still run from the law at every turn. Though I do kind of feel they'll wind up back home at some point and find out things are bad there too somehow. As for the world itself, since I already mentioned this, I do think there's gonna be war brewing. Maybe not get to the point where it happens, but people will be scrambling around to prevent it and there'll probably be lots of angry people causing havoc in Minash Turgal cause these are the sorts of things where people need someone to blame. I think Lirre will probably be fine because I don't want to think about bad things happening to Lirre O_O Finally, regarding Kitov and Taneli changing. I think they're both gonna gain some smarts from this. I feel like Kitov could learn some more street smarts and learn that not every nice seeming person is a good person and that it's okay to distrust people you just met. Meanwhile, I think Taneli is just gonna learn the struggles normal people go through outside of the sheltered life she's lived, and that she'll be much wiser when it comes to politics. However, I think they'll both remain lovely people who are sweet and have that twinkle in their eye.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I feel like the murder of King Rishor was foreshadowed on this page: https://cryptsandcantrips.kytri.net/comic/twelve-4/ With the whole "obviously the people like me, because if they didn't, they'd vote to replace me" bit. Like, sure, that's true on a country-wide scale... but votes are majority rule, not unanimous. And sometimes... the smaller group of people who disagree with you can be very vocal.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 3

13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic?

14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Erin Ptah (BICP | Leif & Thorn)

Taneli's my favorite too. She's very sheltered, but her heart's in the right place and she's adjusting as fast as she can, and she's active and enthusiastic which is great for plot motion. Plus, she gets the best clothes. I like the worldbuilding of "actually, our country has all kinds of mold-breaking things like non-hereditary elected rulers and public transportation." Here's hoping it catches on more widely. Leo's plotting is...complicated. Escorting the Princess gave him a great opportunity to get close for the assassination, and since he had the stuff in the luggage, it seems like he was plotting it the whole time. But the fact that Taneli was a Princess at all was supposed to be a secret from everyone except Kitov, right? The others were all surprised when it came out. Was it a plan that only came together when he arrived, and the poison was just planted to frame the others? Or was the poison in the luggage all along, and the secrecy of the whole mission was compromised from the beginning? Unrelated, I thought the sexual-orientation references were well-done. It's not like the whole cast sat in a circle and announced a list of identities each -- it came up naturally in one conversation with a few people, and they mentioned the parts of their experience that were relevant. Also really liked "masculinization potion." Some of the trans-related vocabulary stuck out from the rest of the dialogue, but this feels natural -- like, of course, those are the words a Medieval D&D Fantasy Person would use for it.

RebelVampire

What I'm most looking forward to seeing in the comic is probably just more of the plot revealed as to why assassinate the king and finding the whole motivation behind everything. Just because I'm hoping it opens up more questions to explore and also helps build the world. My final words are simply that this is a lovely comic with likeable characters and I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes in terms of plot since the plot has definitely caught my interest.

Kytri

Hi, uh this is my first post here. I'm the writer/artist of Crypts and Cantrips. The week is over in about half an hour in my time zone, and I just wanted to stop in and say thanks for including my comic and for everyone's kind words.

My comics tend not to spark much discussion or feedback so it was a really nice change of pace.

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Crypts and Cantrips this week! Please also give a special thank you to Kieran Thompson for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Crypts and Cantrips, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://cryptsandcantrips.Kytri.net/

Kieran’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Kytri

Kieran’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/itsKytri

Kieran’s itch.io Store: https://Kytri.itch.io/

Kieran’s Teepublic page: https://www.teepublic.com/user/Kytri

Kieran’s TWITTER: https://twitter.com/Kytri

[mocha-writes]

32, Patrina

32. dust motes

Though the stained glass windows lining Patrina's crypt were opaque, they couldn't hold back the light of a full moon. Silver rays pierced the delicate stars and crescent moon of the artificial nighttime depicted in the towering windows. Particles of dust danced wherever the dim light struck. The substance never lasted long in the castle, as Strahd had never been one to tolerate messes of any sort, but the place no longer housed the small army of servants dedicated to keeping everything spotless. She didn't need to wander to recall how much had changed. Mortal servants were few now, and she doubted any living soul was allowed to reach her resting place. Originally intended to house the bodies of the late king and queen, the crypt had lain empty until her unexpected demise imbued it with purpose. Soon enough, some skeleton or reanimated corpse--perhaps even one she'd stitched together herself--would be sent down to remove the dust before it could accumulate.

It was easier to think so, anyway, to entertain the notion that all that would enter the isolated crypt were mute, unthinking vessels who only acted at their creator's instructions. But looking at the statues which guarded the entryway--twin, elven warriors--and the attempts by human artisans to recreate the fluid lines of Elvish glasswork in the windows' scene of a lake's shore in springtime told Patrina this was not true.

As always, she sensed the brief change in the magical barrier which protected her crypt as Strahd passed through it. As always, she let her essence dissolve until she was indistinguishable from the dust hovering in the air, gone before even he could descend the steps into the crypt proper.

Someday she would be brave enough to linger as he cleaned, but it was yet a long time coming.

Micro-story prompts

[propheka]

Six Fanarts - Webcomics Edition [04.10.2020 to 04.14.2020] - – - – ~ – - – - 4H and HB pencils on Printer Paper.

SixFanarts idea and Template by @mcapriglioneart

Characters & Where to Find Them:

Kitov Sige from Crypts & Cantrips - https://cryptsandcantrips.kytri.net/

Angel from Ah Heck!! - https://ahhecktheangelchronicles.tumblr.com/

Apple from Monty and Peach - https://tapas.io/series/Monty-and-Peach

Terra Lovette from Tales of Kalzeria - https://www.kalzeria.com/

Kai Romero from Twin Dragons - http://www.twindragonscomic.com/

Elias Ross from How to Be a Werewolf - https://www.howtobeawerewolf.com/

[blessyourhondahurley]

Get Him Back

Dean, Sam, and Eileen will do whatever it takes to bring Cas home.

Suptober prompt: All For You Flufftober prompt: Truth or Dare/20 Questions Fictober prompt: "Yes No I don’t know." Inktober prompt: Empty

(Read on AO3)

After Cas is taken by the Empty, after Dean eventually manages to peel himself up off the dungeon floor, tear-soaked and aching, it takes exactly three months to get him back.

Three months of grinding research, hunched over dusty tables in libraries and crypts and dungeons and warehouses and storage rooms.

Three months of passing hunts to the others in the network, keeping their single shared focus on this one paramount task.

Three months of shitty games of “Arcane 20 Questions” with every reputable witch they can track down, struggling to untangle the inscrutable “Yes, no, I don't know” responses they receive.

Three months of forgetting to eat, forgetting to sleep, forgetting to shower.

Dean loses fifteen pounds. Sam gains five. Eileen goes gray at her temples.

In the three days before they perform the ritual, there are preparations. Purifications. Purgations.

There is an incantation that must be spoken continuously for the last twelve hours before casting. They take it in turns, reciting the words until their voices are hoarse and their throats are bloody. They perform this part of the ritual in the kitchen: one chants, one sips warm honeyed tea ladled from the pot simmering on the stove, and one rests on a mat on the floor. Every fifteen minutes, they rotate.

The amount of fresh blood required for the cantrip that breaches the barrier between the planes is, of course, more than one person could safely give. Eileen did EMS training, years ago, so she handles the necessary phlebotomy. She draws about a pint and a half from each of them. (Sam has to assist with the placement of the needle in her own arm.) The blood loss, coupled with three months' worth of exhaustion, leaves them all quite muzzy-headed. Once the final spell has been completed and the portal opens before them, Eileen faints.

Sam crumples to the floor beside her, cradles her head in his lap, and nods grimly at his brother.

“I'll be right back,” Dean rasps, and steps across the glowing threshold.

He doesn't return for seventeen hours.

When he reappears, he's bloodied and limping, but he's not alone. Cas steps through the rift by his side, and it winks out of existence behind them.

Sam catches them in a hug, his long arms wrapped tight around two sets of trembling shoulders at once. “Eileen's asleep,” he rasps, “but she said to tell you she loves you both. I left some sandwiches in the fridge. Welcome home, Cas. I'm going to bed.”

They take the sandwiches to Dean's room and, after changing into clean, soft clothes, they eat them sitting side by side on the bed. Between bites, Dean gives him the Cliff's Notes version of how they've spent the time since Cas was taken.

“I just can't believe you did all of that for me,” Cas says wonderingly when Dean is finished laying out the details.

“We didn't do it all for you, sunshine,” Dean replies. “Not just for you, anyway. We did it for us, too. We need you here. This is your home.” He takes Cas's hand. “I meant what I said back there, when I found you. I'll say it as many times as you need to hear it. I love you, Cas. I'm yours, and you're mine. There is nothing in this universe, no entity, no force, no being, that can keep me from you. Believe that.”

Cas sniffs and wipes at his eyes with his free hand. “I'll try. It's so much more than I ever would have hoped for, but I'll try to believe it. Keep telling me.”

“I will. I'll tell you forever. I love you, Cas.”

“I love you too, Dean.”

They share a kiss then. It's soft and sweet, nothing like the desperate, blood-tinged, off-center first kiss they'd had in the Empty.

“Welcome home, Cas. Let's get some sleep.”

“Okay.”