#(FUCK book bans!!! i could go on and on about Just book bans and how horrible they are but i wont i suppose)

[deathsmallcaps]

Replying to tags but then I ran out of room and I think i was if not cooking then at least microwaving

#dude when I was in 6th grade I read #the veldt #and at the time it disgusted and genuinely scared me because I was #just so surprised that people - children! - could be raised to be so heartless #idk if I read it for the first time as a 23 year old it would scare me so much #but goddamn

#I think we're both people who are *at least* good at literacy but we're both a little too STEMmy #to look at it the way some English teachers want us to? #like they want people to go from 'damn that's fucked up → what themes are the authors trying to explore here → what about the world #made them think of that and perhaps what are they trying to get us to consider and think about and perhaps change' #obviously not all writing is a fable with a moral at the end #but a lot of good writing has some sort of central belief that it wants the reader to consider

#(I struggle in creating that with my fiction ugh and I think a lot of booktok books do too and it bugs me that we have that connection)

#but anyway #I think you and I'd first reactions are like #’that's horrible → how can we prevent that specific problem from occurring again' #like take the lottery. my (and maybe your?) first reaction is like 'that's horrible → they should ban the lottery' #but the English teacher is going to want us to think 'oh gee okay so this is a commentary on traditions. why would this tradition be started #/necessary? does the lottery reflect the overall morals and sensibilities of the overall society (aka fond of the death penalty etc). #what sort of tradition might this mirror today? connecting to historical events and the fact that the person stoned and the author were #women. aka the gender commonly stoned for witchcraft in New England #do you think that's related?' etc etc etc wrapped in metaphors and shit. and tbh that's how I learned a lot of my religious and political #philosophy as well as history. I really like Thomas swift's 'a modest proposal' (satire) for that reason.

but that was NOT my initial #thought process for English class. I had to be heavily trained into thinking that way and often my first instinct is to not engage with the #metaphor an just go straight to the logic/sensible answer. blah blah blah. I really respect lit and history teachers as a profession but boy #do I not want to teach it because I would be so slack on writing the kinds of questions that would get the kids to engage with the meta. #once I got a piece I got it but it was a struggle every damn time. because I had to get over my feelings of well why didn't they just not #do that'

the biggest one I can think of is 'song of Solomon' by Toni Morrison. I think my senior AP English teacher wanted us to really #consider authors and characters of color (he was white but it was 2018-2019 aka Trump era) so he taught us othello and TM. othello is a #little easier to understand because iago is just being a little bitch about a Black foreigner getting a promotion and a hot wife and no longer being able to convince himself that he was better than Othello

But TM’s main character Milkman? Unlikeable, spoiled little shit who doesn’t give a damn that he’s the 1 percent of his marginalized community and he’s frittering his privileges away so hard that it literally induces suicidal and murderous tendencies into the people around him. Among other things.

It took me foreverrrrrr to engage with the text beyond GOD I HATE THIS GUY but once I was able to examine his psychology and the mean flip side of ‘if you want to fly, you have to get rid of earthly attachments’, which he does at the end of the story.

Was it a chore? Absolutely. But have I ever forgotten the story or the literary tools it gave me? No.

Maybe I’m just speaking for myself in this longass response - you and I usually talk animals and men not books 😅 - but yeah every English class is full of these annoying stories that are meant to rattle one’s brain and I REALLY avoid rattling lmao. Tbqh again I respect lot classes but I’m glad they’re over lmao

But anyways I listened to Levar Burton’s podcast ‘Levar Burton Reads’ from start to finish, and he once read (as a three parter) Toni Morrison’s Recitatif. It’s the story of two girls, one Black one white, who grew up around and with and against each other during the mid 1900s.

I didn’t know what the story was getting at, aside from the surface ideas of the American Civil Rights Movement and privilege and stuff. But LB usually asked questions or briefly mentioned the author’s main idea at the end. And when he did? HOLY FUCK.

If you ever decide to listen to it (I’ve never gotten my hands to a print copy so idk if they usually have some sort of author’s note at the end to ask the reader this question)(I love LB’s voice he’s a pleasure to listen to if you listen to Recitatif) please @ me and tell me if it also blew your mind and made you consider how you viewed the POV character of the story.

Because it blew my mind and made me really consider why I assumed things about the pov character. Im not going to say anything further because I feel like I’m spoiling the point but yeah.

Anyways again this could be just me but I’ve always had trouble moving on from the straight solution mindset. When I was 12 I was in a model UN and I was told to write a report about Togo and its healthcare issues. I took this to mean that I had to research the common issues there (such as unclean water and mosquito bite diseases) and then come up with solutions.

It was incredibly embarrassing to do all that and then hear every other group explain their countries healthcare issues and WHY (historically, monetarily, etc) their countries struggled with such things. And my ass went up there and talked about affordable mosquito deterrent changes to water sources and cheap water cleaning services.

I didn’t realize it then but like. It perfectly exemplified my lack of instinct to subtextually interact with instructions and prompts.

And the thing is. May the universe bless and boost the fucking lit teachers out there because my poor students are entering math class with lit skills 6 grades under where they should be and are genuinely unable to interact with straightforward STEM instructions. My college had every ed major take a ‘teaching literacy’ class and sure I passed but the thing is. I’m not really the person that’s supposed to catch these kids on that subject. I’m supposed to be a secondary math teacher. So a lot of the advice in that class simply wasn’t applicable and I wish it was!!! I’d be happy to help in that subject but also I WAS TRAINED TO BE A MATH TEACHER. AND MOST LITERACY AND LANGUAGE DIFFICULTY COURSES ARE NOT DESIGNED WITH STEM IN MIND. (Which is why I want to learn enough Spanish that I can teach kids learning English math as well because that’s an area that doesn’t get a lot of crossover and a lot of kids fall through).

Well this turned into a ramble goodnight lmao. I’d say this was a decently microwaved thought track lol

[friskyfreddie2024]

America: You Fucked Up

You could have chosen Hope. You chose Hate.

You could have chosen Empathy. You chose Enmity.

You could have chosen a New Beginning. You chose the Nazi.

We could have finally been rid of this cancer on American democracy. He could have been banished to obscurity, remembered only as the worst president in American history, and finally held responsible for his numerous crimes.

The ignorant, racist, misogynistic, white supremacist, pathologicial liar is now going back to the White House. He is a convicted felon, an admitted sexual predator, a total fraud, and a demented old man. He belongs in prison.

What did you do?

You ignored that the U.S. economy is the strongest in the world, that inflation is at its lowest level in four years, that unemployment is at its lowest level in three years. You believed the lies about how terrible the economy is. I knew better.

You forgot about his 30,000+ lies while he was in office. I remember.

You forgot about his complete mismanagement and ignorance over COVID, resulting in the deaths of over one million Americans. I remember.

You forgot about the saber rattling over military exercises in the pacific, when Kim Jong Un threatened us with nuclear missiles, causing us to fear whether we'd see another day. I remember.

You forgot about waking up every morning dreading to hear the latest abomination he tweeted. I remember.

You forgot about "very fine people on both sides." I remember.

You forgot about "only the best people" like Betsy DeVos, Rick Perry, Tom Price, Scott Pruitt, Steve Mnuchin, and many others who were given cabinet positions despite having zero qualifications for the job. I remember.

You forgot that 40 of his former cabinet members and dozens of former generals and officials refused to support him, saying he was "unfit to serve." I remember.

You forgot about January 6, "fight like hell". I remember.

You forgot that when he was told that his vice president was secured because the rioters wanted to kill him, he said, "So what?" I remember

You forgot about The Big Lie, "Release the Kraken" and 60+ failed attempts to overturn the election in the courts. I remember.

You forgot about "I just need you to find 11,780 votes." I remember.

You forgot about "They're eating the cats! They're eating the dogs!" I remember.

What now?

When a woman suffering an ectopic pregnancy dies because she doesn't have access to medical care, that's on you.

When they take away your neighbor, your co-worker, your friend, and deport them, that's on you.

When a woman is forced to suffer the agony of carrying her rapist's baby to term, that's on you.

When a transgender kid harms themselves because they can't get the medical care they need, that's on you.

When your middle-class taxes GO UP, while billionaires get even more tax breaks, that's on you.

When schoolchildren are killed by an assault rifle in a mass shooting, that's on you.

When children grow up ignorant because you banned books and dictated how history is taught, that's on you.

When Grandma can no longer afford a comfortable life because the Social Security she paid into all her working life, and provided income on which she now depends, has been cut, that's on you.

When violence against Jews, Asians, Hispanics rises again, that's on you.

When prices on the goods you buy skyrocket due to tariffs, that's on you.

When Ukraine, deprived of our support, is overrun by Russia, that's on you.

When the U.S. is the laughing stock of the world (as we were 2016-2020), that's on you.

What should you have done?

You should have exercised critical thinking skills, recognized the thousands of lies you were being told, recalled that his administration had four years to live up to his promises and failed at all of them. You should have realized that he is a profoundly stupid individual who doesn't give a shit about you or your family or anything except himself.

You had the last nine years to see that, and you still fell for his bullshit.

[umadosedepascal]

DIRTY HOLIDAY | Pedro Pascal X f!reader | One Shot

Written by Santa Trindade

Banner by @missyorkswhore

Made in Brazil

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x f!reader

Summary: You go with friends spend the holidays in Mexico, such a coincidence to be at the same resort as Pedro. What a world, so small huh?

wc: 3.7k

rating/warnings: [little surprising plot] [Pedro being Pedro][unprotected PIV][oral sex m/f] [alcohol comsuption] [Curse words]

a/n: C’MON GUYS. Do I need to explain myself after yesterday pictures and videos? NO. FUCKING HELL NO. wtf Pedro.. WHY is he so fucking hot??? WTF. 😭

You are going with your friends to Mexico to spend the holidays this year. It was a tough decision to make because you always spend the holidays with family, but this time you decided to try something new away from home since your whole family always judges you. Your dad always comes to you saying, “You’ve been drinking a lot, my baby; slow down…”

All you want to say is that you are a grown woman and do whatever you want, but every year you keep behaving as an angel to them.

You and your girlfriends get on the airplane on the 24th, heading to Mexico for 2 weeks.

All of you are very excited and feeling some freedom in the air.

“Hell yeah, the first thing we get there will be a round of tequila shots… you gotta deal with me…” and your friends laugh with your sassy attitude.

A promise is a promise. You check in, change to your bikinis, and go to the bar by the pool.

“Hey buddy, 3 shots of tequila, por favor?”

The barman looks at you with half-closed eyes. “ID first, my ladies; you look under 18…”

Although you are all over 27, actually, you three hand your IDs on the counter and look around the pool waiting for your drinks.

One of your friends comes to you and says, “Hey, isn’t that guy from….”

Your jaw drops, your legs start trembling and shaking, trying to hold on to something and not to fall… “YES?”

Pedro is lying down on a sun chair in red shorts, drips of water are running down to his bare chest, and he is really deep into a book.

“I need my shot RIGHT NOW!” You say loudly to your friends, trying to compose yourself at the same time.

They know you have a crush on him and talk nonstop about his work, so this is going to be a wild trip if you get to meet him even for a second.

“Second round is on me; let’s do it,” one of your friends says.

All you can think about is him. You don’t stop to look in his direction and try to plan how to approach without being a silly, stupid, drunk idiot.

The most down-to-earth friend of yours tries to calm you down, saying that you will have your chance, etc., but you are so far away in your thoughts that you ask for a large margarita and tell them you're going to take a sun chair as close as possible to him and see what happens.

“You crazy! But yeah, good luck; I hope he’s not a dick with you…” one of them tells you, hopeless, not trying to hurt your feelings.

“Dick? Yeah, I want some dick… You laugh, already buzzed, walking towards the chair right next to his.

As long as you get near him, by himself, still deep into the book.

You already worked up the courage and asked, “Hi, is this chair taken?”

He gives a side eye, looking at you from head to toe. “No darling, all yours…”

As you sit on the chair, you can hear your friends from the bar cheering like party animals.

You look at him saying, “Jeez, these people know how to party, huh?” Hoping he didn’t see you before taking shots with them a few moments ago.

“Yeah, yeah… young people... having their time…” he says with a smooth voice.

You feel relief because he didn’t see you before with them and anxious at the same time because YES, you could start a chit chat with him.

“Erm, yeah…” You don’t know how to keep this going and pick anything that you find inside your ecobag just to create other possible ways to talk.

Lay down on the chair, put on your Ray-Bans, and open the FUCKING MAP of the resort.

Jesus, what am I doing? Should I say I know him? Should I just ask what he is reading or maybe wait for another brief comment coming from him?

You can see by the side of your eye that from time to time he looks at you, but very, very fast, you just hold that giant map, feeling like you're on mushrooms with empty thoughts on your mind.

You’ve got your friends getting drunk and cheering for you from the bar and the hottest guy in the world by your side.

Think wisely…

You grab your drink from the side table and sip it.

“Is that good?” He asks you.

Pretending like you got scared, almost dropping the fancy glass on the floor… “Did you just.. talk to me? Um, well, I had better ones. But this one isn’t bad at all…” you describe your drink with a shy smile.

What the fuck did I say???

He chuckles, closing his book and now sitting down on the chair.

“Hm... 3-star review? I’m getting one myself; I like cheap stuff.”

You simply just give a “ha” to him as he stands up and walks towards the bar.

Your friends get wild; at this point, they might think he is going to talk to them for sure.

You immediately look at them trying to mimic something like, “Nooooo, noooooo, don’t say shit, you motherfuckers!!!”

You are in a panic because you know them and what they are capable of, especially under alcohol influence.

But they understand wrong; they know you always need a hand in terms of trying to flirt with someone else.

You see one of them approach him, saying something and looking at you at the same time.

You are screwed up. You know.

The only thing you can do now is wait for your end, getting big gulps of your drink and trying to calm down.

He comes back with a wild smile on his face saying, “I just met your friends over there; they told me things... you don’t need to hide anything…”

You sit down quickly. “What? Hahaha, they… They are buzzed; don’t believe in what they say…”

He keeps looking at you with half-closed eyes. “Hmm,” he sits on his chair sipping his drink and says, “Yeah, it’s not that bad at all…”

You simply don’t talk for some moments; your anxiety is building up like a pressure cooker.

Until then… “Hey Pedro… I’m sorry… I just wanted to say hi, but I’m already drunk, and I don’t know how to start a proper conversation. They probably told you I’m a sucker for you… and the ‘dick’ thing as well. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not a stalker; I don’t want to bother you. I just think you're awesome, and it was a stupid idea to come over right here, right now.” You run over words.

“Wow, wow, wow, they just told me to be nice to you, haha, because you care... about me.” Pointing to himself.

After you say all that with a flushed cheek, you let out a loud laugh looking at your friends that are already out of sight. You get more desperate saying sorry a million times, trying to compose yourself.

“What more did they say?”

“That you are awesome and know everything about my stuff, but with moderation… I don’t know what they meant, but yeah, I just didn’t catch your name…"

You tell him your name with eyes open and disbelief that your friends, for the first time, did a good job, but not you… not you.

“What’s the dick thing you told me?” He asks you with a smirk.

“Aaah, nothing… being a dick… that’s it.” You say, looking to the ground with shame.

He grabs you by the chin and says, “I would never be a dick to a beautiful girl like you…”

You feel a shiver down to your spine when he touches you like that.

Oh shit…I’m already wet without even getting into the pool.

“I, I think I need to… brb…” You leave everything behind and go straight to the toilet, locking the door and sitting there.

Breathe in, breathe out.Ok, I will just grab my stuff and disappear…What did I do?

As soon as you open the door, Pedro is there waiting…

“I usually don’t do things like that; it can be the vibe, my drinks, or even Xmas. I don’t know…” He says, grabbing your hips, pushing you back to the toilet, and closing the door behind him.

“Is that what you wanted? hm" He rubs his beard on your face, searching for your mouth.

He guides your hands to his growing bulge while running his right hand from behind you, rubbing one finger over your pussy.

You moan when he rubs his finger roughly against you…

“So wet already for me…” he says in between sloppy kisses.

“Since the moment I spotted you here, yeah…” you whisper, with both hands stroking his cock over the shorts…

Then Pedro takes you slowly to the sink and sits you there, spreading your legs…“Let me see what you got, beautiful… spread more…” putting your bikini bottom aside and lowering to the same level.

You grab his wet hair with one hand while he tongue darts you deep, sucking your lips and moaning low with pleasure…

You don’t even blink, just looking down at him savoring you, such a tease.

No fucking way this is happening…

You can feel his nose rubbing against your clit; you are getting close to the edge, but suddenly people knock at the door…

“Oh dammit…” You murmur disappointedly.

Pedro stops his worship on you and tells you with a low voice, “My room isn't far... want to see what naughty presents Santa has for you?" His fingers trace small patterns on your thighs, making you shiver.

“But we need to be discreet… What’s your room number? I meet you there…”

Pedro chuckled softly, his breath tickling your ear. "Discreet, huh? I like the way you think." He leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your earlobe as he whispered, "Room 217, second floor."

Luckily nobody is at the door anymore, so you sneak out the toilet.

You try to find your girls just to quickly freak out and disappear again, but there's no sign of them.

You come back to the pool area, and Pedro isn’t there anymore; you bite your lip, get a deep breath, take your stuff, and go towards the elevator.

Room 217

You knock twice.

The door slowly creaks open, revealing Pedro standing there, his shirt half unbuttoned, revealing his chiseled chest. He's holding a bottle of tequila and two glasses. His eyes roamed over your body hungrily.

Stepping aside to let you in, he whispers suggestively, "Merry Christmas to me, indeed." He gently shut the door behind you, his free hand trailing down your arm. "Hope you like tequila..."

“Hm, yeah, better be careful… right?

Pedro's eyebrows shot up, a devilish grin spreading across his face at the memory. "Ah, but that was just a sample of what I can do sober. Imagine what I'm capable of now, all loosened up." Doing a little dance…

Then he pours two generous glasses of tequila, sliding one towards you before picking up his own. "I've got a list of naughty things I want to do with you..."

Oh, he wants to play a game…I’m just gonna faint 😮‍💨

“Oh… tell me more…” You push him to the sofa, sitting on his lap.

A deep, sexy chuckle escapes his lips as he lets you push him onto the sofa, his hands immediately finding your curves. "Mmm, you're being a naughty girl..." He takes a sip of his tequila, then offers you the glass. "You first."

“My list? With you... it is an extensive list. Better you tell me yours first…”

Pedro leans back into the sofa, a confident smirk playing on his lips as his hands continue their exploration of your body. "Well, since you asked..." He takes another sip of tequila, his eyes never leaving yours.

The motherfucker is a tease; I knew it… I knew it!!!

His hands wander up and down your body possessively as he continues. "I want to see those perfect lips wrapped around my... gifts." He punctuates his words with a gentle bite to your neck.

"Then I want you bent over this fireplace mantel while I take you from behind, watching your reflection in that mirror across the room.” His fingers trailed along your waistband suggestively.

“Wow…You really don’t waste time on your list, huh?” You start unbuttoning his shirt all the way down.

He chuckles, his eyes locking onto yours as he sees you unbuttoning his shirt, revealing his chest and abs one button at a time. He helps you finish the job, tossing his shirt aside. "Guess not..." He growls, pulling you closer.

Pedro's lips curled into a wicked smile as you slowly head down towards his chest, his hand lightly gripping the back of your neck.

"Well, since you asked so nicely..." you murmur approvingly, pressing your lips against his nipple.

He let out a low groan as you began to suck, his other hand coming up to gently stroke your cheek. "Fuck, just like that..."

You let out a soft laugh. “So… you like some worship on your nipples, huh?”

A deep, sultry chuckle escaped his lips, his voice husky with desire. "You're learning my secrets, aren't you?" His hand urges your head towards his other nipple. "Not just my nipples... but every part of me deserves some worship."

“That’s how I make my way down…” you whisper.

His breath hitches as you whisper your intentions, his body tingling with excitement. "Well then, I can hardly wait to feel those heavenly lips trailing lower..." He guides your face down his torso, his abs clenching instinctively under your touch.

As you kiss and nuzzle your way down his abdomen, Pedro's hands rest lightly on your head, his fingers gently guiding you. "Lower... lower... yes, just like that..." He hisses as your lips brush against the waistband of his red swim trunks.

You slowly peel back his zipper, the sound echoing in the room. Pedro's breathing grows heavier as you reach inside and wrap your hand around his thick, hard length. He lets out a low groan as you pull it free, his eyes rolling back in his head. "Fuck... oh god..."

Pedro's cock twitches eagerly as you firm your grip, the skin velvety soft, a prominent vein runs along the underside. The head is broad and round, flushed a deep red, with a tiny slit oozing with pre-cum. His hips giving an involuntary thrust forward, seeking more of your touch. "Don't tease me, beautiful..." He breathes out, voice strained with lust. "Put those gorgeous lips to work."

As you bob your head up and down, Pedro's hands tighten on your shoulders, his fingers digging into your skin. He starts to thrust gently…”Fuck... You look so beautiful with your mouth full of me..." He pants, his abs flexing with each thrust. His hands move to cup your jaw, his thumbs caressing your cheeks as he guides your movements. The wet sounds of your sucking fill the room, mixed with his guttural groans.

I take you out of my mouth for a few seconds. “You taste so good, but I don’t want you to reach the edge, hottie…”

His breath catches at your words. "Mmm, teasing me now? You know exactly what you're doing..." His tone is a mix of both frustration and deep satisfaction. "Yeah, don't make me come just yet…”

“Yes, let’s work on your list…” You say, sitting back on his lap, cleaning the corner of your mouth with his precum.

Pedro's eyes darken with desire as he watches you clean your mouth with his precum. "Fuck, you're so naughty... I love it." He reaches out and runs his thumb over your lips, spreading it around before leaning in to claim your mouth in a deep, passionate kiss.

“So…What did you say about the fireplace? Second of the list…”

Pedro smirks mischievously. "Ah, the fireplace... I was thinking we could move our little session over there." He stands up, lifting you with him effortlessly. "I want to bend you over the mantel and fuck you from behind, watching your reflection in that mirror across the room.”

Pedro carries you to the fireplace, setting you down gently on your feet. He spins you around and bends you over the ornate wooden mantel, the cool marble pressing against your skin. "Keep those elbows locked," he commands, a firm hand on the small of your back.

Not happy with that, you just suggest, “Why don’t you just take me to the bed?”

"Because the bed is too ordinary," Pedro murmurs, running his hands down your thighs possessively, "I want to do this here, where I can watch myself take you in the mirror." He steps back to admire the view, his eyes roaming over your arched back and rounded bottom.

With a mischievous tone, you ask him… ”and you like to watch yourself?”

"Right now I’d love watching myself fucking you," Pedro confesses, his voice low and husky with desire. "Seeing my cock disappear into your pussy, feeling your body shake as I pound into you... it's fucking incredible." He reaches out to run his fingers through your hair, tangling them in the loose strands.

"And the mirror," he continues, his other hand reaching out to the mantel to steady himself as he lines himself up with your entrance. "Watching myself push into you, feeling your tight little hole squeeze around my dick as I fuck you hard against the mirror... fuck, it's going to be perfect."

With a deep grunt, Pedro thrusts forward, sheathing his hard length inside you in one smooth motion. He pauses for a moment, savoring the feeling of being buried inside you before he starts to move, his hips slamming against your ass as he fucks you hard against the mirror.

"Look at us in the mirror..." He reaches around to cup your breasts while continuing his steady pace. "Watch how beautifully you take my cock. Those whimpers you're making... fuck, you're perfect." His pace quickens, his breath becoming ragged against your ear.

His fingers pinch and tug at your nipples as he fucks you relentlessly, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoing through the room. The mirror fogs up from your panting breaths and his sweat, obscuring parts of the reflection but not enough to hide the lewd scene unfolding before it.

In between moans, you beg him to take you to the bed; you can’t stand your legs anymore with so much pressure.

Pedro growls, pulling out of you abruptly and spinning you around to face him. He lifts you up and carries you to the bed, tossing you onto it before climbing on top of you. "I need to be inside you again, now."

He settles between your thighs, his hard cock pressing urgently against your slick folds. "Wrap your legs around me," he demands, easing the tip of his shaft teasingly along your slit. As you comply, he grips your wrists, pinning them above your head with one strong hand.

Pedro leans down, capturing your lips in a fierce, dominant kiss. His tongue pushes past your lips, claiming your mouth as his other hand guides his cock to your entrance. In one powerful thrust, he buries himself inside you again, swallowing your gasp with his mouth.

He breaks the kiss, his eyes blazing with lust as he begins to move, thrusting into you with deep, measured strokes that make the bed creak beneath you. "Fuck, your pussy feels amazing," he grits out, angling his hips to hit that perfect spot inside you.

Pedro quickens his pace, his grip on your wrists tightening as he chases his release. The room fills with the sound of his hips slapping against yours and your breathy moans. "I'm going to fill you up so full," he pants, nipping at your jaw. One of his hands slides between your bodies, finding your clit and circling it with his thumb. "I want to feel you come on my cock…”

"Fuck, you're getting tighter... Is this what you need, baby?" His thumb presses harder against your clit as he fucks you with deep, forceful strokes, the intensity in his eyes unwavering. "Come for me..."

Pedro feels your walls clench around him, and he growls, "That's it, cum on my cock." He slams into you one last time, burying himself as deep as he can go. His thumb circles your clit frantically as his release builds. "Fuck, I'm close..."

With a loud grunt, Pedro explodes inside you, his cock pulsing as he fills you with his hot seed. His thumb presses hard against your clit, sending you over the edge as you scream in pleasure, your pussy milking his cock for everything he's got.

He stays buried inside you, his thumb slowly circling your sensitive bundle of nerves as he nuzzles his face against yours, breathing heavily. "Damn it, I will tell your friends you are amazing… they were right..." He murmurs, his voice muffled against your neck.

After a moment, Pedro slowly pulls out of you, his softening cock slipping free from your still-quivering pussy. He collapses beside you on the bed, pulling you into his arms and holding you close. "Can we keep up with this list?" You say.

He kisses the top of your head, his heart still racing from their intense encounter. "I think we should keep going, yeah. There are a lot more things on that list I want to try with you." He pulls out his phone and starts typing, a smirk playing on his lips.

“Hey, I need to check on the girls...” you say, worried about them being away for a couple of hours already.

Pedro looks up from his phone, his expression softening. "Of course, go check on your friends. I'll be here when you get back. But don't be too long, okay?" He says giving you a little wink.

As soon as you go back to your room, you find your friends passed out on the bed.

Well, I guess you will leave a note at the door saying thanks for the little help, and you guys will catch up on the next day because you won’t sleep in the same room for a while… The list is endless.

😈

————————————————

Thanks for being here and read our delusional fics, likes are appreciate, comments even more. If you want to ask anything, blast it!

[thelunaticself]

MY BABY, MY BABY

simon riley x reader

said it was your problem. turns out he cares a lot.

🧸ྀི request: Helloo!! I think i’ve seen your requests are open, if not just ignore me sorry! But i was wondering if you could write maybe something like, Popular/bully??!Simon x Weirdo/whimsical!reader? Like in high school or college, i think it’d be so cute!! 🐞

╰┈➤ request open !

cw: highschool love, fluff, bad english lol

“Simon, stop touching my elbow.”

“Not my problem.”

You wonder if you really are a masochist. Maybe Anna from chem class was right to say that. After all, who would speed through a week’s worth of assignment in two days and trick the Simon Riley into doing gardening. Some big problems you have here.

It has been an excruciating one hour since math class started and you’re not sure if you can walk out of class without having to amputate your right leg. Fucking Simon Riley. Sometimes you are amazed at the fact that you two belong to the same species with how unapologetically big he is. And he likes to remind you about that very much. His thighs are not even spread out at full length and you only have the tiniest of space left to sneak your legs in under the school table. Shoulders so wide that they brush up right against you and he’s not shy about it either. Too comfortable. One arm lazily drapes on the back of your chair while his unfocused gaze is either on you or the window, never up front where all the materials are written. But that is one thing you won’t judge. You don’t find any silver of joy in this too. 

The bell rings just in time for you to realize he has used up your only eraser pen. Shaking it violently in one hand, a scowl quickly appears on your face as you speak:

“This is the THIRD one this week, Riley!”

“Your fault for just putting it there. And you didn’t say anything.”

“You should have asked! And just so you know, I’d say no. Now go and buy me another one!”

“Never shut up, do ya?”

With a heavy sigh, Simon pushes himself to stand up like a martyr and promptly heads out of class to the school canteen. You begin to prepare for the next lesson too. Piling books and notes into their rightful place back into the bag. Yours and his. He never asks or forces you to do any of it. It just feels right. 

Your rhythmic routine got interrupted by the sounds of many footsteps headed towards your table. 

“Tell me what did you do to him, fucking slut.”

“Get the fuck off my table, Anna.”

“Don’t act dumb. I know you let him fuck you routinely because there is no way he would hang around a bitch with a body that my grandma had ten days before she died.”

Letting out a sigh just like Simon earlier, you put the book on the table with unnecessary force.

“Maybe he would if you stop harassing him online and acting like him breaking off with you over you sucking a random guy that you accidentally invited to your grandma’s funeral is unreasonable.” 

Anna was about to say something when she noticed Simon came back and quietly mouthed to you: “Tell him to text me.”. You only roll your eyes.

   ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ •✸•⊹₊ ⋆୨ৎ

Someone could cut off four of your limbs right now and you would thank them. Everything feels numb and sore when you dig, plant and water for 3 hours non-stop, not to mention all the cleaning that follows. This hard work is proof of your unhonorable title - Leader of Garden Club. If you could call two people a club that is. 

Simon doesn’t seem to be too affected. He is more annoyed than tired. As usual.

“ ‘M goin’ for a smoke. Don’t follow me or you’ll end up coughing like last time.”

The only response he gets is a glare coming from you sitting on the ground, dirt all over and legs sprawl out to accommodate the aching numbness. You swear you hear him let out a small laugh under his breath before finally wanders off downstairs. You banned him from smoking in the garden last time.

This fucking garden. 

It wasn’t supposed to be your problem. It was just a promised close-to-nature place printed in the ridiculously green leaflet the previous Garden Club leader waved excitedly in your face. Too bad she’s off to do whatever better things to witness what the garden of Eden has been reduced to. The club was already failing and the realization hit too little too late when she placed a firm hand on your shoulder, the graduation hat threatened to slip off her messy hair and promoted you to club leader with a warm smile. Now it is your job to find the next victim. 

The nearby church bell chiming reminds you of how late it has gotten. After locking the door firmly, you descend down from the school rooftop to find Simon leaning against the dilapidated wall, a cigarette held in place by two lazy fingers. 

“You hungry?”

“What?”

“Fuckin’ hell, woman.”

“Shhh, just get my order right.”

He has been repeating your order for almost five minutes. I didn’t say anything about getting pickles. No Simon, absolutely no tomatoes. Bend down more I can’t reach your ear-

You hand your cash to Simon and go off to secure a spot. In the corner, full AC, road view? Perfect.

He arrived with a tray not long afterwards. After that, strictly chewing and silence. 

Dropping you off in front of your porch in a dimly lit street, Simon hands over your school bag that was previously nested in the front of his motorcycle that he is definitely not old enough to drive. Still, he wears it with pride. 

“Don’t forget to do my homework.”

Right. You never forget your end of the deal. You also never forget the sight of the cash that you thought you handed him earlier, are now lying unceremoniously and crumbled on top of your books in your school bag, like someone hastily shoved them back in.

   ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ •✸•⊹₊ ⋆୨ৎ

It was almost midnight when you received a text from him. 

“You up?”

This is odd to say the least. Texts from him are as rare as the full moon. Thumb pressed against the message notification, you fight over in your head as to whether or not you should reply. Must be something important, maybe a last minute assignment.

“Why?”

“Wanna go out for a drink?”

“SIMON NO. WE’RE UNDERAGE.”

“Your problem.”

His headlight illuminates the stairs leading down from the front porch. You clutch your coat tighter when you step out of the comfort of your home and out into the chilling air of a freshly rained Saturday night. It’s odd not seeing him in his usual school outfit. That part of him was meant to be at school and at school only. Now it has extended its roots to different aspects of your life. Like sneaking out when your dad is on a business trip and your mom passed out drunk on the couch to go drinking illegally with your classmate.

   ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ •✸•⊹₊ ⋆୨ৎ

You feel nauseous. Maybe in a good way.  Whatever that feeling is, it quickly drops to the pit of your stomach only to make the tingling warmth spread across your cheeks, straight to your beating heart. His large arm slides back onto your shoulder for the tenth time tonight (yes you counted), hand finds your arm and squeezes the flesh there. You wonder if he was prepping you up for this by draping his arm on the back of your chair back at school. You are silent throughout the whole ordeal. Eyes fixed on the juice glass on your thighs, your fingers clench tightly around the rim. 

The juice glass is the consequence of your second light cocktail making your fingers so shaky that Simon had to snatch it away from you and ordered fucking juice in a bar. A puff of smoke hits (you’re not sure from who) your nostrils resulting in a coughing fit that earns a few chuckles from his friends. A pat on your cheek reassuringly.

   ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ •✸•⊹₊ ⋆୨ৎ

Later on, you find out today is his birthday. A crumbled recruitment paper with his date of birth written in that brash handwriting you can easily recognize. Sneaky little thing lays on the floor, next to his bed and lands right in your sight. The room is too dark for you to read the rest. A heavy thud, then a yank on your back - his shirt, making your back collide with Simon’s warm chest. He has just finished washing your dress in the bathroom where you threw up previously. He plans to put the dainty thing in the washing machine and give it back to you all folded nicely. But for now, he needs a good sleep. Simon reaches down to squeeze the supple flesh of your thigh. Content.

⌯⌲ buy me a coffee?

[manicmanuscription]

The Wait

SJM x Reader Week Day Five @sjmxreaderweek

Prompt: Heirs / Lords / Ladies

Pairing: Rhysand / Reader

Summary: Reader didn't expect carrying the future heir of the Night Court to be so anxiety inducing.

Tags: separation anxiety, possessive rhysand, hormonal reader, nothing but pregnancy fluff! not proofread oh also making out -light

Word Count: 1085

A/N: Sorry if this is bad y'all, I forgot to prepare something for today and then I nearly forgot to post it so it's super rushed smhhh 🤦‍♀️

SJM x Reader Week | Acotar Masterlist

I stood up from my chair once again, putting the book I’d skimmed through back on the bookshelf that was the fourth one that had bored me. I read a few titles but not comprehending any of them. This is fine, I’m fine. 

I waddled over to the next bookshelf, none of the titles really standing out to me and I nervously chewed on my lip as my mind wandered to mate once again. 

I was seven months pregnant, Rhysand had barely left my side and the last time I ventured outside the gardens of my own home was making the announcement of our Heir to the Hewn City. Then my mate and I had practically become shut-ins. Rhys even going so far as to lessen monthly dinners with our own family which had already become scarce with everyone's busy schedules.

He would’ve banned them from this house completely after Cassian had given me a congratulatory hug but I told him I would go crazy and skin him alive if I didn’t at least interact with our own friends.

It had been surprisingly nice, we had taken long needed breaks from work except for emergencies and the house was quite large so I didn’t feel too stir-crazy. 

Except for when my mate left me alone. 

This was only the third time he’d been called away for court duties, the trips usually lasting a few hours but each time felt a sentence worse than death. 

Madja had told me the heightened anxiety was due to having such an attentive mate, my pregnancy brain becoming so used to his constant presence that even when he walked down to the bakery to fetch my cravings my brain told me he would get terribly injured and never return to my side again. 

Who knew such a blessing could be such a curse?

I paced in front of the bookshelves, barely looking at the spines. I could handle a few hours without my mate, this had been an emergency with Keir and I didn’t want him to worry about me he already had enough on his plate. 

I already felt guilty enough for needing him so much, I wouldn’t feel guilty for cutting his meeting short as well. 

“You need to stop pacing.” The shadowsinger spoke from the couches.

“I’m not pacing.” I snapped harshly grabbing yet another book, the weight of my belly making my back hurt all day and I waddled to Rhysand’s favorite reading chair taking a few minutes to get comfortable. 

“I’m sorry for being short with you.” I murmured as I adjusted the knitted blanket for the second time. I just couldn’t relax, all of my instinct’s aware of every noise that went on in this house. My nerves like a frayed wire and the thought of how I’d spoken to my friend like that had me on the verge of tears. 

Gods these hormones were going to fucking kill me.

“It’s alright.” He brushed off turning the page in his book. 

I sniffled, blinking back tears and opened the book, skipping over every other line. After a few minutes I couldn’t take it anymore and stood up again. Everything felt wrong, the chair, my blanket, even the clothes on my skin. My mind couldn't help but wander...what if something bad had happened? Or if someone had gotten hurt?

I set the book back trying to take deep breath’s Azriel had already assured me everything was fine, multiple times in fact and nearly every time I’d bitten his head off. I was on the hunt for another book when darkness flickered in the room and the scent of my mate washed over me. Instantly settling all my nerves. 

I turned around to face him and he smiled. “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be gone for another few hours?” I asked even as a grin graced my face. 

Rhysand didn’t even look at Azriel who’d been preparing to leave, unbeknownst to me the spymaster had only been following his job description and reporting my state back to my mate. Well your mood swings may scare him, a deeply powerful male with a pregnant wife at him and his instinct’s all haywire scared him even more. 

“It wasn’t a big deal, able to end the meeting early.” He shrugged and I hugged him, the belly bump slightly in the way but not enough that his scent didn’t intensity at proximity and make the bond hum in happiness. I was too happy he was home to consider if he was lying even though he was it didn’t matter Rhysand wanted to be with you just as badly, his own nerves calming seeing you safe and sound.

“Leave.” Rhysand ordered and before the last syllable left his mouth Azriel was already gone, disappearing to wherever. “How are you doing my love?” He asked me, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Better now.” I murmured, tapping my lips indicating I wanted a kiss. He was quite tall and with the baby I couldn’t reach up on my tippy toes anymore. 

He smiled, settling his hands on my lower back and tugging my close. Giving me a quick peck on the lips before pulling away. “Uhm, what was that?” 

“What was what?” He cocked his head to the side, feigning innocence and if it weren't for this baby my feelings wouldn’t be hurt, but they were. I turned away from him crossing my arms, fine. Two could play at that game. 

“C’mon don’t be mad darling.” His voice dropped and a shiver ran down my spine. Bastard doing that to me on purpose. He stood behind me, sliding his hands underneath the baby bump and taking the weight off my feet and I let out a loud moan. 

Fluttering my eyes shut at the heavenly sensation, his early transgression almost completely forgot about until he brought it up again. “Let me make it up to you.” He whispered in my ear, pressing long kisses to the juncture of my throat before tilting my head and giving my lips a proper claiming. 

His tongue dominated my own and I lost all sense of time, breathless when he finally pulled away. “What are you reading there love?”

I had forgotten about the book in my hand and with a quick glance at the title I realized it was one of my favorites, a book of fables and mini stories with usually dark or mysterious endings. 

“Can you read to me?”

“Of course I can, darling.” He settled himself on the reading chair, tugging my into his lap and pulling the blanket over the both of us. It felt so much cozier than before and I nuzzled my head into his neck, sinking further into him as he began reading to me, all my earlier anxiety completly gone.

[st-dionysus]

(The Poem is named) Emetophobia CW

It’s 2024 and I’m in a 20 year old drag bar, watching the very first trans-masculine performer to compete on their stage, he gets second place even though he deserved first.

I show up to the men’s bathhouse on trans night to get free entry and get turned away at the door, and told it’s for transgirls only, bitch you could have put it on the flyer that transmen need not apply.

I’m doing a line of ketamine off the table, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I get banned from the camsite for listing myself as transgender when I don’t have a dick, I complain online and get told that the trans-masculine body is to grotesque to be fetishized and I should be grateful.

I wear a packer and hitch up a skirt, walk the street, get $20, calling it stealing transfem valor.

Cissie puts a TW #body-mutilation tag under my thirst trap. Tranny puts a TW #dysphoria tag under my thirst trap.

T-girl with a callout post pedojackets me, Enby with TME in bio pedojackets me, T-boy with a self-deprecating joke about men in his bio pedojackets me.

I do another line of ketamine off the table, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I am at the woman’s clinic, I am at the woman’s clinic, I am at the woman’s clinic wearing a mask – not cause I’m compromised (I am), just to hide my beard – avoiding making everyone uncomfortable.

I am getting re-diagnosed with BPD, which just means I have bitch disorder and no one trusts me.

I take my pills and throw them up. I drink my liquor before the beer and throw them up.

I am just 14 when the picture and videos go up. Remind me that I have it easy, they were only pictures and videos.

I am just 17 when the recording of my proof stops before it happens, my phone memory is full, I’m called a liar and now I can’t see buttered crackers, thanksgiving, or sriracha sauce without wanting to kill myself.

No one gets me therapy, but they still want to convert me, she puts her hands down my pants, at least I’m 19, to remind me I’m a woman – tell me how they love trans men again.

I do a third line of ketamine off the table, realize it doesn’t effect me, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I call myself a dog, I start biting my lovers and I have to hold back from ripping out a chunk of flesh, I don’t think I’d throw it up.

I am reading the statistics, 40% of BPD patients try and kill themselves. 1 in 2 transgender men try and kill themselves. I’m one of them. I’m 12 and I swallowed all the pills. I’m 14 and the gun is empty. I’m 17 and I put the box-opener against my throat. Therapist calls me a liar, there is no scar, and my words don’t count for anything.

I’m using he/him pronouns for Stormé DeLarverie, like the stonewall veteran association said to, and telling you he started the riot, calling it stealing transfem valor from a woman who told you she didn’t fucking do it.

I’m shoving my fingers down my throat in a fit of mania, convinced I can vomit up my uterus. She tells me I should be grateful, she’d do anything to be able to get pregnant.

My brother in the struggle gets bottom surgery without top, calling it stealing transfem valor to feel comfortable in his body.

It’s 2024 and I’m at trans pride, the announcers tells everyone to give a round of applause for trans woman, a round of applause for gender-queers, a round of applause for transfems, a round of applause for the enbies, a round of applause for trans-masculine people. You forgot someone. Did you know a trans man started the first ever transgender pride parade?

A book on queer history talks about gay men and lesbians and trans women and the women who dressed as men for better job opportunities. I’m reminded that my invisibility is a privilege, if you aren’t seen you don’t get bashed.

I’m 13 and they throw me in the girls bathroom, pin me down, beat me, and in black sharpie write “dyke”, write “tranny”, write “lesbo”, and pull my hair out the cap I shoved it in.

I’m 19 with D cups that a binder can’t hide and a beard I refuse to shave less I break the mirror and kill myself with the shards of glass I would swallow.

Man at the bus stop calls me tranny and tells me I’ll never be a woman. I’d laugh if he didn’t have his hand on my throat. Calling it stealing transfem valor.

I’m 21 and have to pull a taser on him, cause from the back, even with short hair and top surgery, I look rape-able.

I’m 23 and in the gay district when they chase me down the street, calling me faggot.

Make another forcemasc post, calling it stealing transfem valor.

Read an article about a trans man prostitute that kills himself and ends up another female statistic.

Read an article about a trans man shooter, they blame the HRT he didn’t have access too.

Going to read a callout about me, five pages on Google Docs, does this post make it on the list?

Do a final line of ketamine, write the final line of a poem that makes me want to die, calling it stealing transfem valor.

I puke and miss the toilet.

[kings-highway]

hotel/travel headcanons because I'm in a hotel and my feet ache and everyone in london walks like they want to get hit by a car. Shipping as per my usual, mildly sprinkled here and there.

- kageyama and hinata racing to see who can get back to the hotel room first *every single time* they are returning to their hotel room, no matter how tired they are

- type A personality Suga methodically listing through every possible restaurant they could go to for dinner, and a different kind of Type A Daichi confused because he's had their restaurant itinerary planned for weeks and knows exactly where they're going.

- Asahi keeps stopping to offer to take pictures for other families on vacation so their Mom can be in them too

- Karasuno Third years traveling and Kiyoko is in charge of the camera and taking all their photos and she's having such a good time until after a few days Suga gets ahold of the camera and realizes she is just such a shitty photographer. Blurry, off centre, weirdly framed. Terrible. Suga bans her from photos and gives the camera to Asahi instead.

- on that note, Asahi takes fantastic photos.

- yachi also takes really, really good photos but she always panics and takes like 30 every time

- Daichi tries out a different morning coffee shop each day and reports back to the others ranking them. They all kind of love this weird morning routine and look forward to finding out if this morning will be better or worse than the previous despite the fact that he is the only coffee drinker among them.

- Kageyama and Hinata are terrible planners and never book anything ahead but Hinata's ability to make friends makes up for it. "oh no hotels in a 30 kilometer radius have vacancy? No worries, my new friend Paul says we can sleep in their guestroom."

- somehow Hinata hasnt ended up murdered but Kageyama is skeptical his luck will hold

- Karasuno Third Years are team "we walk for 2 hours between every destination to explore the city on foot" and the Karasuno Second Years are team "we have Uber'd everywhere and don't regret it" and hear the third years' travel stories and are horrified by how much ground they cover on foot.

- Noya is weirdly pretentious about only going to local "real" places and avoiding tourist traps and everyone has to tell him to shut up by the 4th or 5th site they see.

- Yamaguchi is so afraid of foreign cops that it starts looking like he's genuinely committed a crime. Tsukki has to constantly tell him to calm down if they pass one but "Tsukki I don't know the laws of this city what if we're breaking them right now-"

- Tsukki is the designated "speaker" of the first years when checking into hotels or other reservations, and has an uncanny knack for picking up languages, meaning by the end of just a couple of days in a foreign country he can do basic greetings and questions.

- on that, Tsukki always rolls his eyes and pretends like it's such a hassle having to do all the talking, sign reading and map navigation but he secretly kinda likes being a bit like a tour leader for them and being able to herd them around and take care of them.

- Kageyama got banned from trying to pick up languages naturally after he accidentally called an old lady something horrible

- Oikawa and Iwa take a selfie together outside every famous sit or historical building, and they always look great. These two are like the poster children for aesthetic traveling. The wind always makes them look perfect, the lighting is always clear.

- Oikawa and Iwa send a perfect photo back to Makki and Mattsun, who in return send the most fucked up off centre, badly lit selfie you could imagine with their middle fingers up

- Seijoh 4 stay out way too late and get lost at night. Thankfully none of them are "panickers" but it really highlights how important it is for at least one person to panic a little bit. It'll be 1 am and they're still standing on the side of the road 12 blocks from their hotel like "ahaha isn't this silly?" and then start walking in the wrong direction

- Iwa once got really sick on a trip and had to spend the day at the hotel, but when he was feeling better he went down to the hotel restaurant and met a celebrity and nobody believed him.

- Seijoh 4 are the guys who make way too much noise in hotel hallways

- Kunimi and Kindaichi did their first abroad travel together and it went surprisingly smoothly... For Kunimi. Kindaichi lost all his luggage, got scammed by a street seller, got lost for almost an entire day, sunburned and then got sick before their flight home. Kunimi took selfies with him and captioned them things like "just found Kindaichi again, his wallet got stolen" while holding up a peace sign.

- Ushijima really likes touring old museums and architecture as his preferred travel activity. He also really likes guided tours because "learning from an expert is always better than trying to teach myself."

- Tendou is fluent in way more languages than anyone on the team expects. And not adjacent languages, nobody was really that surprised when he started speaking Spanish, since they knew he knew French. But fucking Urdu? Since when, Tendou? Since when? What's next, Russian? (Yeah.)

- Tendou loves tourist traps. He collects the tackiest, gaudiest magnets from everywhere he goes and willingly lets himself be scammed to make sure he gets the cheapest, worst ones.

- on that topic Tendou is incredibly street savvy in foreign countries but incredibly unhelpful. Semi got pickpocketed once, and Tendou alerted him the moment it had happened, and when pressed as to why he didn't warn him before it happened, Tendou just shrugged.

- local women flirt with Ushijima like it's their day job. Like, statistically way more than anyone flirts with him in Japan.

- Shirabu is a victim of jet leg everywhere he goes no matter how hard he tries to avoid it.

- Goshiki always ends up over preparing for trips and carrying around way too much stuff.

- Ushijima and Tendou like to hold hands while they're walking anywhere. They only separate when they need to review a map. This may be because of Tendou's tendency to decide to go another way without warning and Ushijima's selective hearing when he's focused on a task. They could end up three blocks away before realizing the other isn't following.

- on that, neither of these two use google maps. Ushijima always picks up a tourist guide and city map from a local centre and they use a paper map for all navigation. Everyone's pretty sure they know about the internet, but...

- Kuroo's really good and finding free public wifi. He has like a sixth sense for it.

- Kenma is in charge of all planning when they travel. Kuroo makes him do it even if he claims he doesn't care, because Kenma will always end up picking things he actually wants to do, and then will actually be excited while traveling instead of feeling like he's dragged along.

- On that topic, Kenma will find really niche events or shops or things to do in a city and get really genuinely excited to go see some shop hyper specific to his interests, or some event that he likes, and Kuroo (or anyone traveling with them, really) always think it's incredibly endearing and follows him anywhere

- Fukunaga travels for the food, and that's it. He probably runs a mini travel food blog for friends and family back home. He'll hit up at least 5-6 places a day and try new things every time.

- Kuroo is always a little bit embarrassed to be seen as a tourist. He does everything he can to look less like a tourist and more like he belongs there.

- Bokuto is always just sort of along for the ride and never really knows what the itinerary is. Akaashi will tell him a hundred times what they're doing in a day, and he'll still be surprised when they're getting on a train to go somewhere.

- Akaashi is also an over preparer except it's never useless. He ends up needing pretty much every weird item he thought to bring and this is a bad thing because it validates his anxiety.

- Akaashi refuses to complain to hotel staff for any reason at all, so Bokuto has to do it, which sort of just embarrasses Akaashi more. Not complaining, but that he needed someone else to do it.

- Bokuto talks so loudly going down the street everyone knows they're tourists. He's Kuroo's worst nightmare.

- Aran and Kita have so many nice, long, sweet dinners exploring new cultures and enjoying their time together after Aran had turned off both of their phones.

- Atsumu is lost on the other side of the city.

- Osamu is looking for him but he got lost on the other side of the city

- Suna told Osamu he was looking for him but is still in the hotel room.

- Atsumu and Osamu both love a good hotel swimming pool. It's like their favourite part of a trip is a nice evening swim.

- Suna loves taking absolutely shitty candid photos of everyone in front of otherwise stunning sights.

- Kita actually loves travelling despite all the chaos, and ends up just sort of happily wandering along or holding Aran's hand while he listens to everyone else have a meltdown over missing their train (he had told them the train left 45 minutes earlier than it does, so they actually have time to spare, but he doesnt want them to slow down yet so he hasn't told them.)

- Atsumu tried to hit on a local once and they thought he was lost/homeless and gave him some money

- Couples that take photos kissing in front of beautiful views and historic buildings: Daisuga, Asanoya, Iwaoi, Bokuaka, Tsukkiyama, Arankita

- People who are too embarrassed to admit they want to take cheesy couple photos so they end up missing the opportunities: Hinata, Tendou, Makki and Mattsun,

- People who did bring it up and got shot down rather unfairly for being cringe: Kuroo, Osamu, Tora

- Couples confident enough to have sex in a hotel room: Iwaoi, Kagehina, Osasuna, Fukutora

- Couples that are confident enough, but one of them respected their fellow patrons too much to allow it: Arankita, Ushiten, Daisuga

- Couples that are not confident enough: Tsukkiyama, Kuroken, Bokuaka, Asanoya,

- Couples that successfully convinced their partners to say "fuck it" and have sex in a hotel room even if it was perhaps a bother to their neighbours: Ushiten, Daisuga

- Couples that unsuccessfully convinced their partner to have sex in a hotel room because their partner has significantly more logical prowess than them and is better at articulating an argument and frankly its embarrassing that they even tried to debate them: Arankita

[transboyswitchytales]

🔒What's With The Lock?🔒

Maya Mason (bottom)🔒 x Reader Erotica Writer (top)🔑

Quinn comes to you with questions. What's with the lock and the key? 🔐🔐

WARNING:🔐

BDSM / NSFW / Object Insert BJ / Kinky Talk / TOP AND BOTTOM ROLES / Power play / SPIT KINK / Impact play talk / SAFE SANE CONSENSUAL / Maya is a power bottom / But also she just needs to be a good brat / Dungeon Room Talk / Reader should not have talked to Quinn (that's fucked) / smutty / Lock and Key explained because Apple won't do it / Fetish Talk /🔑🔐🔑🔒🔑

3.3k Words, shorter than normal. If you want this to be a series let me know?

“So I’m new to the whole kinky thing…And you aren’t…” Quinn said to you as you stopped to arch an eyebrow. 

You were sitting in your nice, expensive black dress. Maya had walked away for two minutes to get you and herself a refill. 

Which is about as long as she ever stayed away from you. 

You wrote novels and your book just got converted into a screenplay, which the amazing Pedro Pascal starred as your leading man in the film.

You had beaten the hell out of Fifty Shades of Grey. 

Your erotica had queer people and you and the director had argued with the studio on how much kink you could show for months. 

And now it was done, and you had been nominated. 

And Patty and Matt were chomping at the bit as you sat waiting for them to either tell you you’d won or lost a golden globe. 

You had been seated at a good table, which is why Quinn had to walk almost four minutes across the floor to get to you.

But she sat down and leaned in like you were two Girl Scouts talking about your first kisses. 

“I’m not sure where this is going. But are you sure I’m the one you want to talk to about this? Shouldn’t you ask your new kinky partner?” You try, and Quinn shakes her head quickly. 

Fucking green kinky people were always like this. Like they were the first person to ever masturbate in the eyes of God or something.  

“No I can’t do that…I just got gifted something and I gotta know. And if I ask her, she’ll think I’m not in touch. And no one knows more about kink than you. I mean, you just made the most smutty film of the year. Your books are banned in almost twenty states. Please, you have to help me!” Quinn said and you tried not to laugh, but you looked over your shoulder to see where your wife was with the booze. 

You needed both for this conversation. 

“Ok, any friend of Maya’s I guess.” You say like you haven’t been working with her for the past six months on this film. 

“The lock and key…” She drags on, and you instantly don’t want to talk to her. But you see her freak a little at you. “Please, this woman gave me a lock as a necklace and said tonight she’d put it on and I have NO CLUE what it even means!”

You wait for a minute before laughing so loud that Matt Damon turns to look at you. 

“Stop, don’t laugh it’s not funny!” Quinn said, but you covered your hand over your dark red lipstick-stained mouth and got it under control. 

“I’m sorry, it’s not funny. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone has to start somewhere in knowledge on kink. It’s not that, I swear. I am curious why me? You are that far along in this process, and you are asking a stranger instead of the woman who wants to collar you.”

You try to show how silly this is. You got this from strangers on the street too. 

The endless assumptions that because you wrote erotica stories. You were an open book. An Ask Sugar campaign. Or even that your kink/sex life was open for questions while you were at Trader Joe's. It was rude. 

And you always tried to remind people that sex and kink weren’t the same thing. And that intimacy was different for everyone. So that the only person whom they should be talking about this with, is the person they were engaging in these acts with. 

But just like with Quinn, it never works. 

“Collar me? What like a sex slave or a pet? And oh my god, I thought we were friends!”

You needed Maya, she’d tell Quinn to shove it. You try to remain friendly but that was a fucking joke. L.A didn’t understand what friendship meant. 

“We’re friends? Ok, How long have Maya and I been married? Oh, Oh, What’s the name of the first book I wrote? OOoh here’s a deep one: what’s my favorite color? No, that’s too deep for you. I get it, how about my Hogwarts House?” You tease her, and she shakes her head. 

Hollywood people were so predictable. 

“Black and….God, I’d say Ravenclaw?”

You snort because she got that from your dress and you wouldn’t even get into her assuming your Hogwarts House, that was a mess.

“Why don’t you google it? That’s what Steve Jobs would have wanted you to do with your iPhone. And Page and Brin, that’s why they own Google. So horny queer people can google what they don’t know.”

It’s obvious Quinn doesn’t know who any of those people are, and you are reminded you are married to the smartest person in this whole business. 

Maya fucking read books and kept up the stock. She looked at stupid Tik Tok too, but she still could name the Forbes 100 companies. She knew business and marketing like it was in her veins. So when you talked to Matt, sometimes you wondered how films got made without Maya.

How anything got done in fact.  

“Because the person I’m seeing doesn’t want me looking up dirty stuff on the internet,” Quinn says and you think she looks really young right now. 

“Don’t you write fanfiction?” You ask, not judging that. You all started writing somewhere. You’d written fanfiction about Carrie on Samantha in Sex and The City. That was one of your first dirty stories. Everyone started somewhere, you could be talking to the next Margaret Atwood. Who’s to say? 

“That’s not always dirty! It can be very sweet, in fact!” Quinn almost looks like she’s going to continue arguing with you. You look over your shoulder for Maya again, and she grabs your arm. You drop your gaze to it like she’s offended you, and she lets go.“Please! I’m desperate, I’ll do anything! Maya wears a lock, and you wear the key! What does that mean? You guys are married so um…does that mean my new partner loves me?” Quinn’s voice squeaks like a rodent. 

“I mean it could but..not necessarily.”

“You gotta help me.”

“Ok look, a lot of people in non kinky settings just see the lock and key as love and trust. You hold the lock and she holds the key to your heart. It could just mean that.” You half truth and Quinn isn’t buying it.

Smarter than she looks, you figured.  

“What’s the other thing, the kinky thing mean?”

“I’ll tell you, but you have to do me a solid first.” You tell her, wondering if the dirt is good enough will Maya not be mad at you? 

“Anything!”

“Who is she?”

“Fuck, I can’t tell you that!”

“A deal is a deal, kiddo.” You down the last of your drink. The ice the only thing left for your boredom.  

“Ok, look fine. I’m…Patty is fucking me ok!” She whisper screams and you look at her for a moment before laughing so loud again. And you are sure Damon thinks you are a manic menace to society. “I told you now fucking help me!”

You run your thumb under your eye to not ruin your makeup from the tears. 

“That is too good.”

“You can tell Maya and laugh later, I need you come on!”

“In kink the person wearing the lock is a bottom, are you a bottom, Quinn?” Your voice drops and she turns red. 

Bottoms were so fucking easy. 

This wasn’t even fair. 

“Holy shit yeah I am.”

“So if she puts a lock on you, she’s saying it’s ownership. Only she can unlock it. If our dear Patty is wearing the key, it’s kinda like…She owns your submission. She holds the key to your headspace, your trust, your body, and your desires. It could be leaning more romantic, but I gotta tell you. I know Patty and she wouldn’t mind me saying this, so I’ll do this for her, I’m gonna guess she’s collaring you and wearing that key.” You say, and you won’t say more. Not willing to break more of Patty’s trust. But you are glad she’s fucking someone again. 

You used to go to all kinds of fetish conventions together. 

Patty knew how to fucking have fun. 

You hear the ice cubs clink in your glas as a drink lands in front of you.

A hand falls onto your bare shoulder and then her manicured nails trail up your neck.

Thank god, she’d been gone too long. 

“Quinn, what the fuck are you doing with my wife? At our table? Go back to the kids table. The adults are busy. Go find someone else to talk to. She’s not here for you.” Maya says, and Quinn is still reeling from your words. Her mouth opens and close,s and you are worried you’ve broken her. 

You put your hand on her arm and shake her a little. 

Her eyes fall down to her cleavage, which Maya notices and doesn’t like one bit. But you know it’s not your boobs she’s thinking about. 

She’s putting it together. 

You wear a key, usually like four or six keys. 

Maya always wears at least one if not six locks. 

“Holy shit! No way Maya is a bot-” You put your hand up to stop her. 

“-About to kick you in your ass. Now this goes in the vault. No speaking of this ever. Now we both have an understanding. So go away.” You tell her in warning, and she nods in understanding once and then takes off. 

Maya’s possessive hand stays on your neck, you let your hand fall on top of hers. 

“What was all of that about?” 

You don’t keep things from Maya. 

“I’ll tell you the details later. But Patty is fucking Quinn. Which means I owe you three orgasms with my tongue. But Patty is not the bottom so you owe me an hour in our dungeon.” You tell her and she cackles in enjoyment. 

You both loved making wagers. Gambling with sexual favors and kinky limits. 

When you’d gotten married you bought a mansion in Beverly Hills. And you and Maya finally got your dirty fantasy. 

Your own dungeon. 

“Why was she staring at your breasts like you were Mary Magdalene?” Maya asked and pulled you closer to her. So you turned and licked your lips seeing her jealousy and hunger. 

“That is bedroom talk for later.”

“Lucky me. I’ll hold you too it Mrs. Mason.” Maya smirks, and you lean into her and kiss her. Enjoying the expensive perfume she had on. “So, when you wi,n do I get to eat you out in the limo?” Maya asks, and you hook your finger under the lock necklace and pull her closer to your mouth. 

“You said you would behave Mrs. Mason.” You repeat your shared name back. 

“I am a sucker for punishment I suppose. And you taste so good, besides, I like it when you get all power hungry.”

You twist the lock in your fingers once, and then twice, It tightens against Maya whose mouth opens just a little… Her obvious submission is delicious. 

“If I twisted it one more time, it would be hard to breathe. Is that right?” You ask like you are asking if she wants another drink. Her eyes dilate, and you have her right where you want her. 

But Matt walks up, and you drop the necklace. 

“Oh my god I can’t fucking wait for us to win! You uh, you are gonna go up there and thank me right?” Matt asks, and Maya growls and turns feral on him. 

You don’t even have to say a word. Your wifey is a little doberman.

“Get the fuck out of here Matt! I swear to god I’ll end your entire career in two seconds if you don’t leave this table.” She seethes and you understand why everyone assumes she’s the top. 

But it wasn’t true. 

Maya had pretended to be a dom for so long. When you two had met, you’d turned her advances down. Five times, she’d tried for lunches, coffee, and dinners. But you’d said no every time. 

You’d been just a nobody back then. A writer for screenplays and slapstick jokes. You were secretly working on your erotica on the side. 

Maya wasn’t the head of Marketing yet. Life looked different back then.

But Maya was persistent, and she broke the rules to get you. 

You’d been at a kinky club in L.A. this was about ten years ago now. 

Your friend had pulled all the strings to host it for the Hollywood elite. And you were all too happy to join. 

Nothing like seeing a 65-year-old Tony winner being spanked by a 23-year-old Soap Opera star. 

It was a big party and people were enjoying various activities. 

You were helping at a booth on impact play. You had first been asked to teach Shabari. But then someone had fallen through for impact play. So you answered questions, mostly it was about safe impact. Where to hit, what you could hit someone with, safe words were a must. Make sure blood flow is still good. Don’t forget the difference between stinging pain and thuddy. As a top it was important to communicate the difference with your sub before engaging in play. You talked and one of your friends (a four time Oscar winner) who was a Master and very gay (in the closet). Used a paddle on the tight actors flesh. One of his submissives who’d just been signed to Netflix as a lead, was in Puppy play attire was bound in the stockade. So it was easy to see his bare ass as his Master went to town. 

You drank your Sprite and answered people's questions. 

All of your phones had been confiscated at the door. 

This place was full of actors/actresses, directors, producers, magazine editors, and models. None of whom wanted their tastes to be public. 

No one deserved their face plastered on TMZ for enjoying consensual kink amongst other like-minded people. 

So you couldn’t even read your book or check work emails. 

You found that enough people came over to ask questions about kink protocol that the time went by fast. 

But when Maya walked in, you had figured she’d be here with a group of subs. 

You knew all too many Doms who were in such denial of their need to submit. That they overcorrected and only topped. 

You had an inkling, but never thought Maya would confess that to you.

So you eyed her from across the room and then turned your back to her. 

You were there another hour before she tapped your shoulder. 

“I knew you’d be here,” Maya said, and her outfit screamed designer and leather fetish. It was mouth-watering, but you didn’t let your eyes linger, much to Maya’s displeasure. 

“I’m glad you could make it. I hope you enjoy the events.” You go to turn again, but she grabs your elbow now. 

“That’s it?” She’s offended. 

“Listen, I don’t really think I’m your type. I don’t..I’m not a bottom not a switch either.” You tell her, and Maya’s mind is reeling. 

In truth, you’d learn later she’d never met a domme. Which was inane in Hollywood. But Maya gave off such top vibes that she never had a woman want to top her. 

Men of course thought they could. 

But when Matt had tried to push his dick in her mouth she’d slapped his erect penis stomped on his foot and walked out. 

But when Maya watched porn at night, she always imagined submitting. 

Her dark secret was, she had never trusted someone enough to submit. But she wanted it, she wanted it bad. 

“Can we go somewhere and talk?”

“Maya, I know you aren’t used to people saying no. But this party is BDSM oriented. It’s all on consent, it’s safe, sane, and consensual. And you don’t have my consent to top me. I’m not into it, and I’m not gonna change my mind when we get naked.” You say more sternly unaware of what it does to Maya. 

“Fuck, jesus please!” Maya shouted and a few people turned to look at the head of marketing saying please. 

You eyed her for a second. 

“Have you ever said please to someone before?” You joked, and Maya smirked in response. 

“No, never. But…. I want to..” Maya’s hand reached for yours and intertwined your fingers. “I really would like to.” She said, and you swore you’d fallen for her right there. 

The memory ended as your name was called. Maya pinched your thigh under the table to alert you to, yes, they were clapping for you. 

You’d won. 

You stood, and Maya pulled your chair out so you didn’t trip. You leaned down and kissed her again and she ‘whooped and hollered her excitement at you. She was clapping louder than anyone, and you were dazed as she pushed your lower back towards the stage. 

You walked up there with the director, Patty and Pedro, and a few others. 

You don’t remember what you said, you just remember Maya at the end of the night. 

She begged to taste you in the limo as you held the award in your hand. 

“No.” You told her, and she whined and bit her lip. Her face turned red with frustration. 

“Baby please, come on.”

“You have to wait. But I’ll tell you what you can do.” You took the end of your dress and laid back against the leather of the limo. Pulling your dress up so that your thighs were bare for her. Maya didn’t need to be told twice. 

She straddled your thigh and bucked her hips to ride you. You grabbed her waist to stop her. 

“Please, fuck come on. Let me please! I need it, I need you.” Maya squirmed, she said please a lot more these days. 

“Suck it.” You tell her and place your award on your pubic bone. It looks phallic for the first time to you. And Maya’s mouth opens as she slowly spits on the globe, and it rolls down the award before she opens her mouth and tries to swallow it. 

It’s too big, and it won’t fit in her mouth. But the spit and lipstick is all over it and it’s better than winning. 

Maya is looking pathetic, and that is your favorite fucking thing. Where Maya loses herself in whatever depraved act, because she needs your touch. 

You both matched each others freak. 

It was all about mind games. 

Your combined headspace was so easy to reach with each other. 

Maya moans as your finger finds her slit and you push her thong to the side and she gasps. You don’t touch her for long, though, and she’s angry as your fingers move. You lick your pointer finger of her juices. 

She’s delicious. You hum and she bucks her hips involuntarily. Unable to stop the needy noises. 

Then you take your middle finger that is sticky with her arousal. And you push her face off of the aware do drag it on the top. Leaning forward, you spit on top of the golden globe. 

And then you nod for her to resume your golden blow job. 

Maya’s eyes fell to the key around your neck as she tilted her head to the side. Her dark, long brown hair tickling your leg, as she lay her tongue flat and dragged it up from the base, where your hand was, over your fingers and knuckles, up, up,  up to the top of the award once more.

Where her spit mixed with yours and her own arousal.  

Maya had the lock.

You held the key. 

More?

AO3

MasterList

[scarletemeraldpurple]

Kinktober day 9: Lactation (posting this at 1 am on the 10th but ssshh)

Rio finds you on the brink of death, but it isn’t your time yet. She takes it upon herself to nurse you back to health.

CW: Reader suffers from homophobic violence, the consent is a bit dubious

Other notes: Very gentle Rio, lots of pet names, lactation with healing properties (and aphrodisiac properties), reader becomes Rio’s pet

“Well well, what have I found this time?” Rio mused to herself as she saw you on the ground, curled up, almost unconscious.

Death. You thought to yourself. Death has come to take me. It’s just as well.

“Let’s find out what your story is, hm?” Rio said, lightly massaging your temple.

What she found horrified her. You were dragged out here by a group of men. They beat you half to death, in theory it was because you were suspected of being a witch, in reality it was because one of them suspected you of trying to seduce his girlfriend.

“They don’t even truly know of the power you hold,” Rio said quietly, “it’s not your time to go yet, little one.”

That was the last thing you heard before blackness took over your vision.

You woke up in a cave, on a mat of woven vines.

“Sorry, I don’t have guests often and I don’t really sleep, this was the best I could do on short notice.” The strange witch who saved you said.

You tried to get up, you were unsuccessful, wincing at pain coming from your abdomen.

“Easy there sweetheart.” She sat beside you on the mat as you laid back down.

“I thought you were Death, coming to collect me.”

“Well in a sense I did, just not in the way you expected. But you can call me Rio.”

“Rio?”

“Rio Vidal, at first it was just a pseudonym, but I’ve gotten a bit attached to it.”

“River of Life, so Death has a sense of humor.”

“Gotta have one in my line of work.”

You chuckled lightly, which caused you to wince again.

Rio reached a hand out, very cautiously, to brush some hair out of your face. “I can help you with that, sweet thing.”

“Yeah? Why do you want to help me?”

“Someone’s a bit mistrustful.”

“Can you blame me?”

“No I cannot. Look, here’s the deal. I have something I need help with, and you can help me with it.”

“What exactly does Death need help with?”

“You forget that at the end of the day, I am a green witch. And there’s a little side effect of that I need help with.”

You looked at her confused.

“What exactly do you know about witches?”

“Not a lot. Managed to find an old banned book about potions but that’s been about it.”

Rio nodded slowly. “Okay well…how should I break this down? I can help heal you, quickly in fact.”

“Okay. And in return I?”

“You help me get my breasts to stop aching.”

Your eyes widened.

“You drink from me, it heals you, I get rid of my milk from this cycle.”

You could not believe what you were hearing. She had to be joking right? Maybe Death’s sense of humor was more twisted than you thought.

Then Rio flung her top off, and you saw her nipples leak a bit. “Think you can get on your side or do I need to straddle you?”

“Does it have to be like, mouth to tit? Can I not use a cup or something?”

“You could if I had any.”

“Right, right, guess you don’t really need to do the ‘sustenance for survival thing’.”

“Look, sweetheart , you can spend possibly months healing, unable to sit up for weeks. Orrrrrr, you can put your mouth on my tits and both of our lives will be so much easier.”

You really did not mean to be staring at her chest, but they were big…full, and right in front of you.

“You’re not exactly being subtle, doll.” Rio said, bringing a hand to cup one of them. “C’mon, it won’t take that long, you don’t even need to drink all of it to heal. And I’ll still get some relief.”

Fuck it. You thought to yourself. “Okay. Y’know making a deal with Death was not really on my agenda for today.”

Rio smiled. She slid next to you and gently coaxed you to your side. You cautiously wrapped your lips around her nipple. She stroked your hair encouragingly.

“There you go, just like that.” She let out a moan. “Oh you’re good at that baby.”

It really did work quick. You were already starting to feel better. You felt calmer too. You weren’t sure how to describe what it tasted like, but it was good, and you wanted to keep going.

“Mmm, feeling better baby?” Rio asked.

You were but you found yourself in a haze. It just felt so good to keep sucking. To keep drinking Her in.

“Mmm, I bet you are. You should be all healed up actually. But you can keep drinking that works for me. You’re awful cute like this.” She scratched at the back of your scalp and you moaned around her.

“Maybe I should keep you. Yeah, I think I’ll do that. You’d like taking care of me like this every month, wouldn’t you pet?” Rio mused as she petted you.

“Other side now if you wouldn’t mind. Not that you’d mind very much right now.” She chuckled.

You readjusted so that you were on top of her, now drinking as much as you could from her other tit.

“It’s been so long since I’ve had such an eager little mouth on me. You feel so good pet.” She reached an hand between her legs. “You’re being so good for me baby, just keep sucking.” She said as she started to rub her clit to the sight of you.

She had stopped leaking into your mouth so you detached and realized how worked up you had gotten…how worked up she had gotten.

“Kiss me, pet.”

You didn’t hesitate to obey. Her free hand wrapped around the back of your neck as she let you explore her mouth with your tongue. You moaned into her.

“Easily excited little thing aren’t you?” Rio whispered against your lips. “Fuck baby I’m so close, fuck, yeah keep looking at me like that.” She said as she grabbed your jaw, wanting those big doe eyes on her for as long as possible.

You felt her shake underneath you as she came. Eye contact broken as she screwed her eyes shut in pleasure. You stroked her hair, totally in awe.

Rio composed herself and brought her fingers to your lips.

In that moment you realized you never wanted to be done tasting her, every part of her.

“Such a good little pet. Already so well trained.” She teased. She adjusted you so that your legs were on either side of her thigh. “This is the last thing I want from you tonight okay? Can you cum for me, sweetheart?”

You nodded and started grinding against her. Every sensation seemed so intense tonight.

“I did forget to warn you about something my dear. See I can just heal people, but if someone is healthy, then drinking from me can act…as a bit of an aphrodisiac. Feeling a little fuzzy?”

You nodded and continued rocking your hips against her.

“I could have stopped you I suppose. But you were just so cute. And I bet if felt really good didn’t it?”

You nodded again, whimpering.

“And I bet this feels amazing right?”

“Uh-huh” you moaned out.

“Oh did I make you lose your words? That’s okay. Pet’s don’t need words, they just need to hump or suck, or whatever else I tell them to do. And right now? I want you to cum.”

Your body complied with her demand. She took your hips and made sure you rode all the way through it. You collapsed on top of her.

“Big night huh sweet thing?”

“Mhm.”

“Get some sleep my dear. I’ll be right here.”

[bitchface24-7]

bestie do you happen to know of you could find it in your heart to write for my FAV senior citizen. Silco. (I MISS HIM)

The tiktok ban has made me deprived. Please let me know at your earliest convenience. I will now go back to fighting my demons and missing my shayla. (I hope you are having a good day!)

YOUR DAD’S KINDA HOT… - SILCO X READER

synopsis: you've been friends with Jinx for years now, you're a few years older than her but you two are as thick as thieves. So don't ask how this conversation came up… you have no idea.

warnings: age gap (silco’s like late 30s to early 40s, reader is early 20s), teasing, banter (jinx makes fun of you), overheard conversations, fear of discipline, flirting, suggestiveness

genre: m/f or m/m

p.s. SILCOOOOO 😩😍 I've been down bad since S1 but people would jump down your throat if you said anything about him. The art book definitely spoiled us

You have no idea how your conversation took this turn. Here you are, sitting with Jinx as she works on her bombs in her little lair, having a good time when all of a sudden she asks, “Do you think Silco is hot?”

A sputter is heard as you cough and thump your chest, trying to unchoke yourself from your drink going down the wrong pipe.

“What?!” your voice is whiny in incredulous. No seriously… what?! Where did that come from?!

Jinx casually shrugs, “I won’t be mad y’know. You're not very subtle, just tell the truth toots.”

Your lips thin in contemplation. I mean… you’re not blind? You have eyes? Should you honestly tell his daughter that you think he's attractive?

Jinx appreciates honesty, and loyalty; the same as her dad. She's your best friend, you've never lied to her. And you're not gonna start now.

Even if it’s an uncomfortable topic.

You sigh, face scrunching up is displeasure, “Yes Jinx. I think your dad is hot… I’m not blind, duh.”

She cackles at you, “Seriously?! You could have any guy ya want, and you go for him, my old man?! Finn’ll be heartbroken.”

“He can stay heartbroken! I've got much a finer taste than… that. Silco’s strong, level-headed, and handsome. He values honesty and loyalty. Finn’s… Finn.”

Jinx’s reply is cut off by a deeper voice, “That you do my dear, that you do. Jinx, continue working on your bombs. The ones I see so far are perfect. You, come with me.”

It’ Silco.

Fuck, it’s Silco!

You gulp as Jinx just smiles at the praise, you slowly raise from your seat and follow the kingpin. A frantic look is shot Jinx’s way as you mouth “Help me!”

Jinx giggles at you and winks. You'll be getting no help from her. She's taken too much time planning this moment, she's not letting all her hard work go to waste!

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

The walk back to Silco’s office is tense, you're tempted to jump out a window and hopefully die in the fall to escape this cloying feeling.

It’s too late, you're doomed.

Is your only thought as Silco opens the doors to his office, ushers you in, and locks the doors behind him. You're trapped with a lion, and you’re nothing but a beetle.

He's gonna kill you.

“Sit.” Is all he says as he walks to his drink cart and pours you both two fingers of bourbon. You sit down immediately and fidget lightly. Ok… so maybe he's not going to kill you.

Yet.

He plops a cup into your hand and gracefully walks around his desk and sits down. He's not wearing his coat you realize. His shirt sleeves are rolled up to his forearms and you get to see how tiny his waist is.

God he so hot.

In your appreciation of Silco, you don't see him take a swig of his drink and look you over as well. Hmm, looks like you were telling the truth.

Time to make things interesting.

“So, you find me attractive?”

You gulp looking down to your lap as you quickly bring your glass up to your lips and take a large swig, “Yes sir.”

“Hmm. How curious, you find a man old enough to be your father attractive. What's that say about you?”

“It says I prefer things that have aged finely. Like how you feel about this burboun.”

Silco chuckles, you’re quick. Smart as a whip. Loyal. Honest. Attractive.

He's noticed you for a while now, always on his radar due to Jinx. He appreciate’s your care for his daughter, how you’re with her constantly and protect her. He knew you as a teen, he knew you'd grow up into a attractive adult.

He knew he’d be right.

He knew that you have denied all advances made on you. No partner, no romantic or sexual relationships. The main reason why he knows that is you essentially live with him and Jinx.

He knows how you've looked at him over the years, ignoring their heat. But now… you're an adult. You've finally admitted your attraction.

He's going to take what’s rightfully his.

He's going to see what you've been hiding under your clothes, he's going to take you apart piece by piece. He's going to have you on his desk, his bed, in front of the large window in his office. He's going to feel your lips, how soft your skin is. How nice your hair would feel in his grip.

(You’re going to deeply enjoy it.)

(The two of you hope Jinx won’t be hiding in the office in the rafters as her dad devours you.)

(She wasn’t, thankfully. But she did have a knowing look on her face for like a week.)

(She still pats herself on the back to this day.)

He's a bad man but fuck is he hot! Hope y’all enjoyed this ❤️❤️ also I think the US has tiktok again? I saw the sad goodbyes last night, no Americans this morning on the app, then I took a nap and creators from the US were posting again?? I was so lost LMAO

[arc-misadventures]

Would You Care To Join Us? 2

Jaune: Nora, I need your… advice.

Nora: Oh?! Fearless Leder needs my help?! This is a glorious day!

Jaune: I’m already starting to regret this…

Nora: So tell me gloriously leader! What can I help you with?

Jaune: How does one… get a girl…? How does one make a girl your girlfriend?

Nora: Why are you asking me that; Couldn’t you ask, Rin, or Pyrrha?

Jaune: Pyrrha’s only been on publicity dates, meant to show off something, or someone. No romance in those at all. And has, Rin ever been on anything close to a date?

Nora: Ahh, good points. But, I’ve never dated before, why are you asking me?

Jaune: Cause it’s you, Nora.

Nora: Ahh! That’s why you’re the leader! Always coming up with the smart plans there!

Jaune: So… any ideas?

Nora: Who’s the girl you’re trying to win over?

Jaune: …

Jaune: Ms. Goodwitch…

Nora: Triple G?!

Jaune: Don’t call her that!

Nora: Sorry…

Jaune: Haa… Okay, so can you help me?

Nora: I can!

Jaune: Awesome!

Jaune: How…?

Nora: Hmmm… Oh I know! You should have sex with, Blake in her classroom!

Jaune: …

Jaune: The fuck?!

Nora: I know it’s crazy, but hear me out. So, you sleep with, Blake in, Ms. Goodwitch’s classroom, then she stumbles upon you, and then you ask her to join in! Simple as that!

Jaune: …

Jaune: That’s the craziest plan I ever heard…

Nora: But, it could work~?

Jaune: Even if I agree to this plan, answer me one thing: Why, Blake?

Nora: She’s kinky, she’d totally do it.

Jaune: …

Jaune: She probably would.

Jaune: Haaa… Fine I’ll do it… But, if this back fires, and I wind up in detention, you’re banned from having pancakes for a week.

Nora: You wouldn’t dare!

Jaune: Pray that you don’t find out.

~~~

Blake: Oh fuck~?!

Jaune: Honestly, I thought you slap me in the face for even suggesting we do this. But, you’re really getting into this, Blake.

Blake: Oh~! Can you blame me? You have no idea how many boxes this ticks off, and me on~!

Jaune: Really? Care to tell me? Maybe I can check off another item on that list for you~?

Blake: Doing it in a classroom. Ooph~! The possibility of being caught. Doing a human. Actually getting off~!

Jaune: Ouch, how many bad lovers have you had?

Blake: Too many! Oh! We should film this, and send it to them!

Jaune: Beg pardon?

Blake: Those losers would absolutely… Ohhh~! Would absolutely lose it if they saw me actually getting off, to a human no less! Oh gods~! We should have done this sooner~!

Jaune: I-I’m not really sure about…?!

Ruby: Blake, are you here? I want the next volume of… Ninjas in… love…?

Jaune: Uhh… hi, Ruby…?

Ruby: H-Hi…

Jaune: Uhh… Blake, and I are kinda busy right now… you can ask her for that book later.

Ruby: O-Okay… whoa that’s massive…

Jaune: But, in the meantime… w-would you care to join us?

Ruby: Yes!

Blake: A threesome?! Fuck yeah, another item off my checklist!

~~~

Nora: Ruby?

Jaune: Yeah…

Nora: How did it go?

Jaune: Blake got… kinky so I didn’t really do it a lot with her.

Nora: Makes sense.

Jaune: So, Ruby asked me to join her in the classroom again.

Nora: Oh cool! Treat her nicely!

Jaune: Don’t worry, I will!

~~~

Ruby: H-How are you… Ohh~! How are you so good with knots? Mmmm~!

Jaune: Boy scout, easiest badge I ever got

Ruby: I knew it! You’re a total boy scout!

Jaune: And, you’re loving it~!

Ruby: Hell yeah~! Ohhh~!

Jaune: Tell me; You like being tied up, how about being gagged?

Ruby: Oh fuck yeah!

Jaune: Alright then, let’s…?!

Weiss: Ruby, did you take my binder… A-Again…?

Ruby: N-No…

Jaune: Hmmm… That didn’t sound so sincere. Did it, Weiss?

Weiss: N-No it didn’t…

Jaune: Would you care to join us, Weiss? Maybe then we can get her to talk.

Weiss: …?!

~~~

Nora: Did, Weiss join in?

Jaune: Yeah… yeah she did…

Nora: Was it bad?

Jaune: Oddly specifically kinky…

Nora: Eh?

~~~

Weiss: Grrk! Grrk! Grrk!

Jaune: Oh, are you enjoying yourself, bitch?

Weiss: Mmmph~?!

Jaune: D-Did you just…? Who said you could do that?

Weiss: Mmm-mmrrry!

Jaune: Looks like I’m going to to have to puni…

Yang: Did someone say, ‘Pun?!’

Jaune: Uhhh…?

Weiss: …?!

Jaune: No… no they did not…

Yang: Oh… Uhh…? What’s going on here…?

Jaune: Exploring, Weiss’s kink…

Yang: Kink?

Jaune: Domination…

Yang: Oh… that’s unexpected…

Jaune: Yeah…

Yang: …

Jaune: Are you just going to stand there, or would you care to join us, Yang?

Yang: Oh~?

~~~

Nora: Yang? You got the wrong blonde, Fearless Leader.

Jaune: Yeah…

Nora: So… Are you going to try again with, Yang?

Jaune: Yeah, she asked me to help her explore her kink.

Nora: What’s her kink?

Jaune: Beats me.

~~~

Yang: Ohh~! Big bro! We can’t do this here~!

Jaune: I am so conflicted right now! I have seven sisters, and you look like all of them! And, you want to do this?!

Yang: Because, its so god damn hot~!

Jaune: That’s what makes it worse!

Yang: Forget about it, just focus on me, and the moment, big bro~!

Jaune: Gods… Why is my little sister such a…?!

Emerald: Shit, where did I place that…?! That…?

Jaune: Uhhh… Hi… Emerald…

Emerald: Hi…

Yang: Yo~!

Emerald: Hi… Uhhh… A-Are you two related…?

Jaune: N-No…

Emerald: B-But… L-Lil sis…?

Jaune: It’s… its her kink… So…

Emerald: Oh…

Jaune: So… so are you going to do whatever it is you were going to do, or would you like to join us instead?

Emerald: J-Join…?

~~~

Nora: A brother complex?

Jaune: Yeah, I thought only girls with brothers would develop a brother complex like my sisters. But, apparently not.

Nora: Yeah…

Nora: So, Emerald… How was that?

Jaune: Also into the brother complex thing too.

Nora: Okay…

Jaune: She asked for a second run.

Nora: She did?

Jaune: She said she wanted to play something out.

Nora: Oh really? What does she want to play out?

~~~

Emerald: I’m sorry!

Jaune: For what?!

Emerald: I’m sorry for stealing!

Jaune: No you’re not! You’re sorry you got caught!

Emerald: OHH~!

Jaune: Oh? You like that? You wanted to get caught didn’t you! So you could be punished you naughty butch!

Emerald: N-N-NooooOoh~?!

Jaune: You do~! Well, guess I’ll have to try harder to punish you, you slu…?!

Cinder: Emerald?! Are you here, we need to… to…?!

Jaune: Uhh…?!

Emerald: C-Cinder?! W-What are you doing here?!

Cinder: I was… I was looking… L-Looking for you…

Emerald: F-For what…?

Cinder: I… I don’t remember… oh gods… its so big…

Jaune: Oh… well would you like to join us maybe we can jog your memory?

Cinder: J-Join…?

~~~

Nora: So, Cinder joined in, eh?

Jaune: Yeah, Emerald really enjoyed it when, Cinder joined in on the action.

Nora: Must have a crush on her.

Jaune: I’d bet money on that.

Nora: So, did, Cinder ask you for a spin too~?

~~~

Cinder: AhhHhh~!

Jaune: I’m sorry! Did I hurt you?

Cinder: No. It’s just to so~!

Jaune: I’ll go slow… be nice, and gentle, just like you asked.

Cinder: Oh dear~! Hold me!

Jaune: I’m here honey, I’m here… eh?!

Cinder: Huw?

Neo: 🙂

Jaune: H-Hi…?

Neo: 😁👋

Cinder: N-Neo?! What are you doing here?!

Neo: 😍🍆💦

Cinder: You want to join us?

Neo: 🤩

Jaune: Whoa hey?! I didn’t say the line!

~~~

Nora: So, Cinder is into softcore?

Jaune: I think she’s more into the feeling of being loved, because she hasn’t ever experienced genuine live in all her life. In the afterglow she delved into to some… heavy stuff… she’s been through a lot…

Nora: Oh… I’m sorry to hear that… so… What does, Neo want?

Jaune: She’s mute, so she didn’t tell me.

Nora: So she’ll show you then?

Jaune: Probably.

~~~

Ruby: 🥴

Jaune: Okay… This is unexpected…

Ruby: 🚫❤️❔

Jaune: I didn’t say that. I will say, you certainly are tighter than her!

Ruby: 😏

Jaune: What’s that smile about?

Weiss: 😍

Jaune: Okay, now this is a semblance I would like to play with!

Nora: 🥰

Jaune: Okay, I haven’t done it with her, so this is kinda…??

Nora: Jaune! We ran out of…?!

Jaune: Uhh…?!

Nora: N-Neo…?

Nora: 😘

Nora: You’re fucking me… but, not me…?

Jaune: Uhh… yeah…? I-It was her idea!

Nora: 😇

Nora: I’m a little offended really… I mean, you’re fucking me, but not the real me? Why?

Jaune: Oh… Well, we can fix that… So, would you care to join us?

Nora: …

Nora: Fuck me… Literally~!

~~~

Nora: That was awesome!

Jaune: Glad you like it. I thought you would be unnerved with doing yourself… like that…

Nora: Naww it was fucking hot! You should do it again, but this time with, Blake! She’d really get into it!

Jaune: It worries me that she would…

Nora: So, up for another round fearless leader~?

Jaune: …

Jaune: Sure.

~~~

Nora: Ahhh~Haa~! H-Harder~!

Jaune: Oh? Of course you like it hard, and rough.

Nora: Hell yeah I do! Ohh~! What do you take me for, some pillow… Ahhh~! Pillow princess?!

Jaune: Like hell I would, I just expected you’d like things little… HARDER!

Nora: AHHHH~HHHHH~!

Jaune: That’s more like it~! Scream for me bitch!

Velvet: Yeah, scream for him you slut!

Jaune: AHHH?! What the?! Velvet, what the hell are you doing here?

Velvet: Waiting for my turn.

Jaune: Your turn?!

Velvet: Yeah, you fucked, Blake, then, Ruby showed up, and then you had a threesome with her. Now, I’m here, and I’m waiting for you two to finish so I can have my turn.

Jaune: Well,I’s happily ask if you would care to join is, but how the hell did you know we were doing this?

Velvet: Blake told me.

Jaune: Son’a bitch!

~~~

Nora: Blake blabbed?

Jaune: Yep.

Nora: Of course she did… I’ll go teach her a lesson. You go tame the rabbit. She’s going to lose it if she doesn’t get her fix.

Jaune: Should I bring a spare change of clothes with me?

Nora: Wouldn’t hurt.

~~~

Velvet: Ghack?! J-Jaune?!! Y-You’re… Oh fuck~?! C-Chocking me! Oh~?!

Jaune: That’s because I need to hold you in place you in heat bunny slut!

Velvet: Oh gods~?!

Jaune: Besides, you can deny it all you want, you got tighter the moment I squeezed~!

Velvet: OH-OHHHH~!

Jaune: He… squirter… that’s a first…

Coco: Holy fuck…

Jaune: Coco?!

Velvet: Co-co~? Heyyyy~! Would you care to join us, Coco~? I need help taming the big fella~!

Coco: Join you?

~~~

Jaune: Evidently, Velvet was in heat…

Nora: That’s a thing?! I thought that was some racist stereotype?

Jaune: According to, Velvet it only happens to females, and certain types of faunas.

Nora: Bunnies being one of them?

Jaune: Yep.

Nora: So did, Coco join you?

Jaune: Yep.

Nora: Really? I thought she was gay.

Jaune: Me too. But, she asked for another go so…

Nora: Maybe she’s curious?

Jaune: Maybe. I’ll do it, I just hope what happened with my sister-in-law doesn’t happen again…

Nora: Sister-in-what now?

~~~

Coco: Fuck!Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUCK~!

Jaune: Enjoying yourself?

Coco: Oh gods?! Why the fuck did I use those worthless dildos?! Ahhh~fuck~?!

Jaune: Ahh, crap. Looks like I did it again.

Coco: Did… Ahh! Did what aga-ahhhh~!

Jaune: Make a lesbian question her sexuality.

Coco: You’ve turned a lesbian straight?!

Jaune: Bisexual, but does that really matter?

Coco: You gotta… Oh fuck~?! You gotta tell me how that went down! Cause that sounds so hoOOOOOOT~!

Jaune: Maybe next time, for now lets just enjoy the…?!

Reese: Hey, guys do you know where the cafeteria… is…?

Jaune: Oh, hi Reese… The cafeteria is down here hall to your right.

Reese: Oh cool, thanks… But, uhh… I’m not that hungry anymore… Maybe you can help me gain a appetite~?

Jaune: Oh? In that case, would you care to join us?

Reese: Mmmm~! Please take care of me~!

Coco: Oh he will~! He will~!

~~~

Nora: Reese? That punk, scatter girl?

Jaune: Yep, that’s her.

Nora: So, did you help her get an appetite?

Jaune: She’s still hungry, so…?

Nora: So~?

~~~

Reese: I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m…?! Ohh~?! I’m sorry sir!

Jaune: Sorry for what?! That you were cheating, or that you were caught?!

Reese: Ohhh~?!

Jaune: There… I believe you have learned your lesson, Ms. Chloris.

Reese: W-What was the lesson, Professor Arc~?

Jaune: …

(SMACK!)

Reese: OHhhh~!

Jaune: Kids these days… they never learn…?!

Arslan: Reese! Where are you? We got some… training… to do…

Jaune: Oh… Hello, Ms. Altan. Ms. Chloris is currently in the midst of some supplementary lessons. Perhaps you could come by later. Unless, you would care to join us for some extra credit?

Reese: Extra credit~! Hehehehe…

Arslan: Your name is, Jaune Arc right? You’re Pyrrha Nioks team leader, and partner.

Jaune: That’s right I am.

Arslan: Interesting~!

~~~

Nora: What was interesting?

Jaune: I don’t know, and I’m scared to find out…

Nora: You sure, cause your friend says otherwise?

Jaune: I said I was scared, not that I don’t find this hot!

~~~

Arslan: Fuck you, Nikos!

Jaune: Oh, so is sleeping with me your way of one upping, Pyrrha?

Arslan: At first… Ohh~! But, this cock is something a girl can’t deny she wants~!

Jaune: Really? Then how would you feel if I said I haven’t slept with, Pyrrha?

Arslan: Seriously?!

Jaune: OH FUCK?! You just got so much tighter?!

Arslan: Ha! Take that bitch! I got your man first! And, I’m going to make him mine~!

Pyrrha: Not if I have anything to say about it.

Jaune: Huw?! P-Pyrrha?!

Arslan: Hey bitch~! Guess who just stole your man from you!

Pyrrha: Bitch please… Let me show you how a real woman pleases a man~!

Jaune: P-Please be gentle…?

~~~

Jaune: Oh gods… My body hurts all over…

Nora: Didn’t your aura protect you? It did when we went at it.

Jaune: They broke my aura! I’m just one man, do you expect me to handle a pair of Amazonian’s all on my own?!

Nora: Oh shit really? Why did they go so hard on you?

Jaune: Evidently the pair have some history back in, Mistrial. The number one, and two always competing for top place. I just so happened to be the ‘top place’ at the moment…

Nora: The top place being your dick right~?

Jaune: …

Jaune: I wasn’t going to say it, but yeah… it was the, ‘top place’ this time…

Nora: So, who won?

Jaune: Actually they both asked for a rematch…

Nora: They, what?

~~~

Pyrrha: Oh fuuuuuck~!

Jaune: Oh gods!

Pyrrha: How does it feel, Jaune~! I’m better than that cheap slut~!

Arslan: Oh you whore! Come here you bitch!

Pyrrha: Hey?! Hands of my man you cunt!

Arslan: Bring it whore!

Pyrrha: Oh~! You bitch~!

Arslan: Mmmmph~! Make be whore~!

Pyrrha: Mmmm~! You slut~!

Arslan: Ahhh~!

Jaune: Uhh…?

Arslan: Ohh fucck~! Right there~! Use your tongue right there you slut~!

Pyrrha: Mmmmmm~!

Arslan: I’m cumming~! AHHHHHooooh fuuuuuck~!

Pyrrha: Ha, beat that bitch~!

Arslan: With pleasure~!

Jaune: …

Jaune: Should I just go? Because it seems that, I’ve become the third wheel here so…?

PA: Come here you!

Jaune: Whaaa?!

~~~

Nora: So, do you think they worked out their relationship?

Jaune: I think so? The pair may not be competing on who the better fighter is anymore, but they’re still competing with one another.

Nora: The sexual tension between the pair is rather intense. I guess you just pushed the pair over the edge.

Jaune: Define edge?

Nora: Ehhh~! Nice!

Jaune: Thank you, I’m here all week~!

Neon: Oh, there you are, Jaune~!

Jaune: Ahh?! Neon, what are you doing here?

Neon: I was told that you are considered, ‘safe.’ I’m curious how, ‘safe’ you really are, if you catch my drift.

Jaune: Drift? No, no I don’t.

Neon: I’ll see you again at your… usual hunting ground. Till later~!

Jaune: Uhh… Okay?

Jaune: …

Jaune: Did you find it weird that someone wanted to do it with me without first catching me, and another person in the act?

Nora: Yeah, that was pretty weird.

Jaune: Yeah, weird. So, any idea who snitched on us?

Nora: Blake, or Velvet, possibly both of them.

Jaune: Damn their loose lips… Nora!

Nora: Yes, Fearless Leader!

Jaune: Teach those two a lesson! I will deal with the stray cat!

Nora: At once, Fearless Leader!

~~~

Neon: Never miss a beat! Never miss a beat! Never miss a beeeeeeAaat!

Jaune: How was that, Neo? Dis a miss a beat?

Neon: You his every beat right know yhe mark handsome~!

Jaune: Good, now then, let’s try things at a different… eh? May?

May: Uhh… H-Hey, Jaune?

Jaune: Oh hey, May. Need something, or would you care to join us?

Neon: Yeah! Join us~! You won’t regret it~!

May: Uhhh… M-Maybe… But, I have a word with you later, Jaune? I want to have a word with you.

Jaune: Uhh… sure. But, what did you want to talk about?

~~~

Nora: So, how was, Neon?

Jaune: I like it when a girl does her hair in pigtails.

Nora: Why?

Jaune: Handle bars.

Nora: Nice~! So, what does, May want to talk to you about?

Jaune: Beats me, probably wants to thank me for protecting her from that grenade you almost hit her with.

Nora: Yeah… she wants to, ‘thank you~!’

~~~

Jaune: Oh gods… They’re so soft~!

May: (Slurrr-Pop~!) And, you’re so hard, and big~!

Jaune: You’re one to talk? I thought you were a B-Cup, what are those, H-Cup? How the hell did you manage to hide those?

May: Lots of binding… (Slurp~!) Otherwise they get in the way… But, now they’re right where I want them~!

Jaune: I’ll admit, I’ve always wanted to a girl with a big chest to do this to me. Done side if be a hormonal teenager with seven sisters as big as you.

May: Mmmm~! Day ar?

Jaune: Mmmm~! Much bigger… I’ll show you a place later where you can get some proper restraining bras. Those binding’s will hurt your chest in the long wrong.

May: (Pop~!) Really?! Oh, thanks, Jaune! That means a lot!

Jaune: My pleasure.

May: But, in the meantime, your ‘little’ friend here owes me a make over~!

Jaune: Then get back to work, There’s a lot more I want to do with you than just give you a makeover~!

May: I’m looking forward to it the…?!

Penny: Amazing! Are most male reproduction organs so big?!

Jaune: Penny?! W-What are you doing here?

Penny: Friend Ruby recounted the tale of your sexual escapades, I was interested the validity of her words , so I described to authentic her tale for myself.

Jaune: So…? Would you care to join us then?

Penny: Sensational!

~~~

Nora: Ruby blabbed?

Jaune: Yep…

Nora: Shall I take care of her.

Jaune: You may.

Nora: So how was, Penny?

Jaune: She just watched us, she wanted to know what to expect before she did anything.

Nora: So you’re gonna pop her cherry then~?

Jaune: Don’t worry, I’ll be careful.

Nora: With that bitchbreaker? Yeah right!

~~~

Penny: S-S-Sen… Sensa-sa-sation-a-aalllll~!

Jaune: Penny?! P-Penny are you okay…?

Ciel: I think you short circuited her… And, it only took you: Twelve minutes, and thirty seven seconds.

Jaune: Uhh… Is she okay? I saw literal sparks fly off of her.

Ciel: She is in the midst of a reboot. She will be fine in ten to fifteen minutes.

Jaune: Are you sure?

Ciel: I am. Now, you have not ejaculated yet despite, Penny’s best efforts. So I shall offer you a fellatio to bring you to ejaculation. This should take no more than five minutes.

Jaune: Wait, what?!

~~~

Jaune: It did in fact take no longer than five minutes…

Nora: You sound disappointed by that.

Jaune: I couldn’t really enjoy it. Sure she went after me like a vacuum, but I couldn’t enjoy it. Besides, it feels weird to time how long you can bring someone to come.

Nora: That makes sense. It’s not a contest to see who can eat the most pancakes the fastest.

Jaune: According to, Penny, Ciel is very punctual. Basically everything she does is done to a schedule, and I mean everything, down to the last second is marked on one of her schedules.

Nora: Yikes, major control freak right there. Hmm… You two having another scheduled interaction together?

Jaune: Yeah, why?

Nora: It would be a shame if things didn’t go to schedule, if you catch my drift~!

Jaune: Oh really~?

~~~

Ciel: OH FUCK~?!!

Jaune: What was that~? Barely even a few minutes? Doesn’t it take you five minutes to have a orgasm?

Ciel: Y-Y-You…?! Oh fuck?! You disrupting mu p-p-pla-Ahhhh~!

Jaune: And, you’re absolutely loving it~!

Ciel: N-No! I’m not! I-I… Ohhh~! I hate…?! Oh gods~!

Jaune: You love it~!

Ciel: Oh~!

Jaune: Admit it, Ciel. You love it when I disrupt your precious little timetable~!

Ciel: I don’t! I-I-Ahhh~! i ha… Ha… I LOVE IT~! I fucking love it! I love not know when I’ll cum, when you’ll come! Oh gods~! This feels amazing~!

Jaune: Good girl~! You deserve a reward… I know, how about another one of these!

Ciel: Oh gods~?! It’s so warm! S-S-So warm~!

Jaune: Good girl~! Let’s spend… two minutes for you to catch your breath before we… Rin?!

Rin: H-Hey, Jaune… You looking… big…

Jaune: Oh uhh… Thanks. So… Ciel seems a bit out of it… Would you care to join us? Give, Ciel a chance to get her legs back?

Rin: J-Join you…?

Rin: …

Rin: Later.

Jaune: Later?

Rin: Yeah, later… I meed to prepare myself… mentally… and physically…

Jaune: Oh, okay. Let me know when you’re ready to do it.

Rin: Don’t worry, you won’t have to wait too long. Till then, Jaune~!

Jaune: Till then…?

~~~

Jaune: I’m… worried…

Nora: About, Rin?

Jaune: Yeah… the way she stared at me… there was something in her eyes that seemed… wanting, lusting, and… and, unhinged…

Nora: Hmmm… Yeah, I asked her about the two of you going at it. The way she rubbed her thighs, and bit her lip… There was something… there was something in her eyes that unnerves me…

Jaune: We won’t know until we do it… But, until then keep an eye on, Rin. Something’s fishy, and I want to know what’s going on.

Nora: Will do, Fearless Leader!

Jaune: Let’s hope nothing bad happens…

~~~

Rin: That’s it you magnificent stud!

Jaune: Whoa, Rin?! What’s gotten into you?!

Rin: Come on! Come on! Comeonecomeonconeobcomeone!

Jaune: Ahh, Rin?! What the hells gotten into you?!

Rin: Come inside! Come inside, and knock me up!

Jaune: Wait, what?!

Rin: Get me pregnant! Give me your babies! Make me a mommmMMMMMY~!!!

Jaune: Ahh fuck… Are you try to…?! What the fuck, Rin?!

Rin: Ahh~! I’m gonna be a mother~! Ahhhhhhh…

Jaune: Rin? Oi, Rin, what the hell was that?!

Glynda: A violation of several school codes, Mr. Arc.

Jaune: Ahhh?! M-M-Ms. Goodwitch… H-Hi…?

Glynda: I see you are having… fun…

Jaune: Yeah… fun…

Glynda: Fun…

Jaune: Uhhh…

Glynda: Clean up your teammate, Mr. Arc, then clean the spot where you… Where you had your fun…

Jaune: I’ll get right on that, Ms. Goodwitch!

Glynda: Good… I will see you tomorrow at detention, Mr. Arc.

Jaune: Detention? That seems… appropriate…

~~~

Jaune: So… Rin wants me to impregnate her…

Nora: Yeah… that’s… yeah…

Jaune: Yeah���

Nora: I made her take some, ‘morning after’ pills.

Jaune: Oh? Oh that’s good! That’s good…

Nora: Something wrong?

Jaune: I’m just confused on all of… that!

Nora: Are you against having a kid… a kid with, Rin…?

Jaune: …

Jaune: I’m not against it… It’s just… I never expected that, Rin wants such a thing… from me no less… But… I don’t know… We’ll need to talk with, Rin about this later… I just… I need more time to process all of this…

Nora: Okay… I’ll let, Pyrrha know what happened so we can all talk about this.

Jaune: Good idea. It’s best if she also keeps an eye on, Rin as well. Haa… Okay, I have to get going… detention, Ms. Goodwitch…

Nora: Good luck, Jaune.

Jaune: I’ll need it…

~~~

Glynda: So… Let me get this straight… In an attempt to whoo me, you had sexual intercourse in my classroom, hoping that I would catch you in the midst of the act where you would ask me: “Would you care to join us?” Is that correct, Mr. Arc?

Jaune: Y-Yes…

Glynda: Good. Let’s continue; You started this little plot with, Ms. Belladonna, where instead of me catching you in the act, you were caught by, Ms. Rose, then you tried it again with, Ms. Rose. Then you tried it again with, Ms. Schnee. And, again with, Ms. Xiao Long. And then with, Ms. Sustari. And, then with, Ms. Fall. And, then with her teammate, Ms. Politan. And, then with your teammate, Ms. Valkyrie. And, then with, Ms. Scarlatina. And, then with her partner, Ms. Adel. And, then with, Ms. Chloris. And, then it was, Ms. Arslan, which involved, Ms. Nikos in a competition of some sorts. Then, Ms. Katt asked you to join your… harem. And, then Miss Zedong ask to join you. And, then it was, Ms. Polendina, who was with, Ms. Soleil, and lastly it was your teammate, Lie Rin before I, Glynda Goodwitch finally caught you in the act…

Jaune: Y-Y-Yeah… That’s p-pretty much it…

Glynda: And, tell me, Mr. Arc… Why… Why didn’t you just ask me out on a date, instead of this convoluted plan where you started a harem after sleeping with seventeen different woman? If you just asked me out back then, I would be enjoying your massive cock between my breasts long ago!

Jaune: I-I’m sorry! I thought you would say no!

Glynda: Mr… No… Jaune… You promised to marry me when you were six… I waited twelve years for you to make your move, and instead of making your move on me, you slept with secenteen other woman! What the hell, Jaune!

Jaune: Uhh… E-Eighteen woman actually…

Glynda: Eighteen?! You’ve slept with eighteen woman before me?! That it! You may have slept with sixteen woman before me, but I’ll be the first to have your child!

Jaune: Y-Yeah… about that…

Glynda: What!! You’re already a father?! Who the hell did you…?! Adrian… You’re, Adrian’s father, aren’t you?!

Jaune: Surprise…?

Glynda: You slept with your sister’s wife to conceive a child?!

Jaune: It was consensual! They wanted an, Arc, so I gave them an, Arc baby!

Glynda: And, Saphron just sat there, and watched as you knocked up her wife, Terra?!

Jaune: …

Jaune: Nineteen…

Glynda: Motherfucker?!

Jaune: Technically true…

Glynda: That’s it! I don’t care about your harem, or the fact I’m number twenty! But, I’ll be damned if someone else has your child before me! I’m number two! Rin can become number three after me! So get ready, Jaune, you’re going to become a father again~!

Jaune: H-Help…?

Ozlyn: Ara-Ara~! Do you really think that I will allow that to happen, Glynda?

Jaune: Headmistress Ozlyn?!

Glynda: Ozlyn?! What are you doing here?

Ozlyn: Me? Why I was planning to get the number two spot, but I don’t mind being number three~!

Glynda: The number two spot is mine bitch!

Ozlyn: We’ll see honey~! But, before we begin, Mr. Arc?

Jaune: Yes…?

Ozlyn: Please say, ‘The Lline.’

Jaune: The line…?

Ozlyn: Yes, ‘The Line~!’

Jaune: Uhhh… H-Hello, Headmistress Ozlyn… would you care to join us…?

Ozlyn: Fufufu~! With extreme pleasure~!

~~~

Nora: Glynda Goodwitch, and Headmistress Ozlyn?!

Jaune: Yeah… both of them…

Nora: Whoa… How was it?

Jaune: Starved, to say the least…

Nora: Oh gods… So… Now what…? You started a harem with twentyone different woman, and all of us are ready, and waiting for a second run! So, what are you going to do, Fearless Leader?

Jaune: …

Jaune: Pancakes…

Nora: Pancakes?

Jaune: Yeah, pancakes. I’m hungry.

Nora: Whoo! Pancakes! Can we have sex afterwards?

Jaune: Sure.

Nora: Fuck yeah!

Jaune: No syrup in the bedroom though.

Nora: Dammit!

///

Haaa… Days of work… And it’s finally over!

Doing the bloody colour coding took forever…

Do enjoy~!

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Dirty words are politically potent

On OCTOBER 23 at 7PM, I'll be in DECATUR, presenting my novel THE BEZZLE at EAGLE EYE BOOKS.

Making up words is a perfectly cromulent passtime, and while most of the words we coin disappear as soon as they fall from our lips, every now and again, you find a word that fits so nice and kentucky in the public discourse that it acquires a life of its own:

http://meaningofliff.free.fr/definition.php3?word=Kentucky

I've been trying to increase the salience of digital human rights in the public imagination for a quarter of a century, starting with the campaign to get people to appreciate that the internet matters, and that tech policy isn't just the delusion that the governance of spaces where sad nerds argue about Star Trek is somehow relevant to human thriving:

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2010/10/04/small-change-malcolm-gladwell

Now, eventually people figured out that a) the internet mattered and, b) it was going dreadfully wrong. So my job changed again, from "how the internet is governed matters" to "you can't fix the internet with wishful thinking," for example, when people said we could solve its problems by banning general purpose computers:

https://memex.craphound.com/2012/01/10/lockdown-the-coming-war-on-general-purpose-computing/

Or by banning working cryptography:

https://memex.craphound.com/2018/09/04/oh-for-fucks-sake-not-this-fucking-bullshit-again-cryptography-edition/

Or by redesigning web browsers to treat their owners as threats:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2017/09/open-letter-w3c-director-ceo-team-and-membership

Or by using bots to filter every public utterance to ensure that they don't infringe copyright:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2018/09/today-europe-lost-internet-now-we-fight-back

Or by forcing platforms to surveil and police their users' speech (aka "getting rid of Section 230"):

https://www.techdirt.com/2020/06/23/hello-youve-been-referred-here-because-youre-wrong-about-section-230-communications-decency-act/

Along the way, many of us have coined words in a bid to encapsulate the abstract, technical ideas at the core of these arguments. This isn't a vanity project! Creating a common vocabulary is a necessary precondition for having the substantive, vital debates we'll need to tackle the real, thorny issues raised by digital systems. So there's "free software," "open source," "filternet," "chat control," "back doors," and my own contributions, like "adversarial interoperability":

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/10/adversarial-interoperability

Or "Competitive Compatibility" ("comcom"), a less-intimidatingly technical term for the same thing:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/12/competitive-compatibility-year-review

These have all found their own niches, but nearly all of them are just that: niche. Some don't even rise to "niche": they're shibboleths, insider terms that confuse and intimidate normies and distract from the real fights with semantic ones, like whether it's "FOSS" or "FLOSS" or something else entirely:

https://opensource.stackexchange.com/questions/262/what-is-the-difference-between-foss-and-floss

But every now and again, you get a word that just kills. That brings me to "enshittification," a word I coined in 2022:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/28/enshittification/#relentless-payola

"Enshittification" took root in my hindbrain, rolling around and around, agglomerating lots of different thoughts and critiques I'd been making for years, crystallizing them into a coherent thesis:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/21/potemkin-ai/#hey-guys

This kind of spontaneous crystallization is the dividend of doing lots of work in public, trying to take every half-formed thought and pin it down in public writing, something I've been doing for decades:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/09/the-memex-method/

After those first couple articles, "enshittification" raced around the internet. There's two reasons for this: first, "enshittification" is a naughty word that's fun to say. Journalists love getting to put "shit" in their copy:

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/15/crosswords/linguistics-word-of-the-year.html

Radio journalists love to tweak the FCC with cheekily bleeped syllables in slightly dirty compound words:

https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/otm/projects/enshitification

And nothing enlivens an academic's day like getting to use a word like "enshittification" in a journal article (doubtless this also amuses the editors, peer-reviewers, copyeditors, typesetters, etc):

https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=enshittification&btnG=&oq=ensh

That was where I started, too! The first time I used "enshittification" was in a throwaway bad-tempered rant about the decay of Tripadvisor into utter uselessness, which drew a small chorus of appreciative chuckles about the word:

https://twitter.com/doctorow/status/1550457808222552065

The word rattled around my mind for five months before attaching itself to my detailed theory of platform decay. But it was that detailed critique, coupled with a minor license to swear, that gave "enshittification" a life of its own. How do I know that the theory was as important as the swearing? Because the small wave of amusement that followed my first use of "enshittification" petered out in less than a day. It was only when I added the theory that the word took hold.

Likewise: how do I know that the theory needed to be blended with swearing to break out of the esoteric realm of tech policy debates (which the public had roundly ignored for more than two decades)? Well, because I spent two decades writing about this stuff without making anything like the dents that appeared once I added an Anglo-Saxon monosyllable to that critique.

Adding "enshittification" to the critique got me more column inches, a longer hearing, a more vibrant debate, than anything else I'd tried. First, Wired availed itself of the Creative Commons license on my second long-form article on the subject and reprinted it as a 4,200-word feature. I've been writing for Wired for more than thirty years and this is by far the longest thing I've published with them – a big, roomy, discursive piece that was run verbatim, with every one of my cherished darlings unmurdered.

That gave the word – and the whole critique, with all its spiky corners – a global airing, leading to more pickup and discussion. Eventually, the American Dialect Society named it their "Word of the Year" (and their "Tech Word of the Year"):

https://americandialect.org/2023-word-of-the-year-is-enshittification/

"Enshittification" turns out to be catnip for language nerds:

https://becauselanguage.com/90-enpoopification/#transcript-60

I've been dragged into (good natured) fights over the German, Spanish, French and Italian translations for the term. When I taped an NPR show before a live audience with ASL interpretation, I got to watch a Deaf fan politely inform the interpreter that she didn't need to finger-spell "enshittification," because it had already been given an ASL sign by the US Deaf community:

https://maximumfun.org/episodes/go-fact-yourself/ep-158-aida-rodriguez-cory-doctorow/

I gave a speech about enshittification in Berlin and published the transcript:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/30/go-nuts-meine-kerle/#ich-bin-ein-bratapfel

Which prompted the rock-ribbed Financial Times to get in touch with me and publish the speech – again, nearly verbatim – as a whopping 6,400 word feature in their weekend magazine:

https://www.ft.com/content/6fb1602d-a08b-4a8c-bac0-047b7d64aba5

Though they could have had it for free (just as Wired had), they insisted on paying me (very well, as it happens!), as did De Zeit:

https://www.zeit.de/digital/internet/2024-03/plattformen-facebook-google-internet-cory-doctorow

This was the start of the rise of enshittification. The word is spreading farther than ever, in ways that I have nothing to do with, along with the critique I hung on it. In other words, the bit of string that tech policy wonks have been pushing on for a quarter of a century is actually starting to move, and it's actually accelerating.

Despite this (or more likely because of it), there's a growing chorus of "concerned" people who say they like the critique but fret that it is being held back because you can't use it "at church or when talking to K-12 students" (my favorite variant: "I couldn't say this at a NATO conference"). I leave it up to you whether you use the word with your K-12 students, NATO generals, or fellow parishoners (though I assure you that all three groups are conversant with the dirty little word at the root of my coinage). If you don't want to use "enshittification," you can coin your own word – or just use one of the dozens of words that failed to gain public attention over the past 25 years (might I suggest "platform decay?").

What's so funny about all this pearl-clutching is that it comes from people who universally profess to have the intestinal fortitude to hear the word "enshittification" without experiencing psychological trauma, but worry that other people might not be so strong-minded. They continue to say this even as the most conservative officials in the most staid of exalted forums use the word without a hint of embarrassment, much less apology:

https://www.independent.ie/business/technology/chairman-of-irish-social-media-regulator-says-europe-should-not-be-seduced-by-mario-draghis-claims/a526530600.html

I mean, I'm giving a speech on enshittification next month at a conference where I'm opening for the Secretary General of the United Nations:

https://icanewdelhi2024.coop/welcome/pages/Programme

After spending half my life trying to get stuff like this into the discourse, I've developed some hard-won, informed views on how ideas succeed:

First: the minor obscenity is a feature, not a bug. The marriage of something long and serious to something short and funny is a happy one that makes both the word and the ideas better off than they'd be on their own. As Lenny Bruce wrote in his canonical work in the subject, the aptly named How to Talk Dirty and Influence People:

I want to help you if you have a dirty-word problem. There are none, and I'll spell it out logically to you.

Here is a toilet. Specifically-that's all we're concerned with, specifics-if I can tell you a dirty toilet joke, we must have a dirty toilet. That's what we're all talking about, a toilet. If we take this toilet and boil it and it's clean, I can never tell you specifically a dirty toilet joke about this toilet. I can tell you a dirty toilet joke in the Milner Hotel, or something like that, but this toilet is a clean toilet now. Obscenity is a human manifestation. This toilet has no central nervous system, no level of consciousness. It is not aware; it is a dumb toilet; it cannot be obscene; it's impossible. If it could be obscene, it could be cranky, it could be a Communist toilet, a traitorous toilet. It can do none of these things. This is a dirty toilet here.

Nobody can offend you by telling a dirty toilet story. They can offend you because it's trite; you've heard it many, many times.

https://www.dacapopress.com/titles/lenny-bruce/how-to-talk-dirty-and-influence-people/9780306825309/

Second: the fact that a neologism is sometimes decoupled from its theoretical underpinnings and is used colloquially is a feature, not a bug. Many people apply the term "enshittification" very loosely indeed, to mean "something that is bad," without bothering to learn – or apply – the theoretical framework. This is good. This is what it means for a term to enter the lexicon: it takes on a life of its own. If 10,000,000 people use "enshittification" loosely and inspire 10% of their number to look up the longer, more theoretical work I've done on it, that is one million normies who have been sucked into a discourse that used to live exclusively in the world of the most wonkish and obscure practitioners. The only way to maintain a precise, theoretically grounded use of a term is to confine its usage to a small group of largely irrelevant insiders. Policing the use of "enshittification" is worse than a self-limiting move – it would be a self-inflicted wound. As I said in that Berlin speech:

Enshittification names the problem and proposes a solution. It's not just a way to say 'things are getting worse' (though of course, it's fine with me if you want to use it that way. It's an English word. We don't have der Rat für englische Rechtschreibung. English is a free for all. Go nuts, meine Kerle).

Finally: "coinage" is both more – and less – than thinking of the word. After the American Dialect Society gave honors to "enshittification," a few people slid into my mentions with citations to "enshittification" that preceded my usage. I find this completely unsurprising, because English is such a slippery and playful tongue, because English speakers love to swear, and because infixing is such a fun way to swear (e.g. "unfuckingbelievable"). But of course, I hadn't encountered any of those other usages before I came up with the word independently, nor had any of those other usages spread appreciably beyond the speaker (it appears that each of the handful of predecessors to my usage represents an act of independent coinage).

If "coinage" was just a matter of thinking up the word, you could write a small python script that infixed the word "shit" into every syllable of every word in the OED, publish the resulting text file, and declare priority over all subsequent inventive swearers.

On the one hand, coinage takes place when the coiner a) independently invents a word; and b) creates the context for that word that causes it to escape from the coiner's immediate milieu and into the wider world.

But on the other hand – and far more importantly – the fact that a successful coinage requires popular uptake by people unknown to the coiner means that the coiner only ever plays a small role in the coinage. Yes, there would be no popularization without the coinage – but there would also be no coinage without the popularization. Words belong to groups of speakers, not individuals. Language is a cultural phenomenon, not an individual one.

Which is rather the point, isn't it? After a quarter of a century of being part of a community that fought tirelessly to get a serious and widespread consideration of tech policy underway, we're closer than ever, thanks, in part, to "enshittification." If someone else independently used that word before me, if some people use the word loosely, if the word makes some people uncomfortable, that's fine, provided that the word is doing what I want it to do, what I've devoted my life to doing.

The point of coining words isn't the pilkunnussija's obsession with precise usage, nor the petty glory of being known as a coiner, nor ensuring that NATO generals' virgin ears are protected from the word "shit" – a word that, incidentally, is also the root of "science":

https://www.arrantpedantry.com/2019/01/24/science-and-shit/

Isn't language fun?

Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/14/pearl-clutching/#this-toilet-has-no-central-nervous-system

[anexperimentallife]

So you want leftist candidates? Here's how you get them:

First off, you have to understand that the far right didn't just wake up one day and say, "We should fuck up the country!" They have been OPENLY working for decades to fill literally every elected or appointed government position they could with Christian Dominionists and other right-wingers, and these folks show up to the polls EVERY SINGLE TIME.

When I was a kid in a far right church in the 1960s, they openly discussed how important is was to get their people into office who would help pass legislation to persecute/imprison/kill anyone who didn't follow their religion. If there's no one sufficiently right-wing running, they'll vote for whomever is closest, even if it gags them. And I cannot emphasize enough that they have long term goals that they are willing to take--and HAVE taken--generations to achieve.

The overturning of Roe v. Wade, for example, is a DIRECT RESULT of the decades-long effort by the far right to boost the most far-right-leaning candidates they could find. They've been talking for decades SPECIFICALLY about getting enough far right judges in SCOTUS to overturn Roe v. Wade. And these SCOTUS appointments are for LIFE, so these judges get to set policy for your GRANDCHILDREN.

So yes, the overturning of Roe v. Wade was only made possible because Trump was able to appoint three SCOTUS judges, in addition to all the other federal judges he appointed. Amd they're talking about going after same-sex marriage, minority rights, etc.

(Hell, the judge in charge of his secret documents case is one that he appointed--she has indefinitely postponed that case,by the way.)

And you don't think local school board elections are important? Have you not seen the news about all the anti-queer policies, and all the book-bannings? This, also, has a generational effect.

Meanwhile the left refuses to turn up to the polls because none of the candidates are pure enough. So guess why things are getting worse?

If the Left turned out for the most left-leaning candidate at EVERY SINGLE ELECTION, whether local or state or whatever, including primaries, we'd start seeing more leftist candidates. Yes, that means that if there's a choice between two extreme right wing candidates, you vote for the least extreme one.

I know I keep emphasizing that this is not just about POTUS, but POTUS does figure in, of course (among other things, who do you think appoints judges for congress to approve?).

So swallow this pill: Anything shitty Biden is doing, the shitgibbon will do MORE of.

"Not gonna vote Biden because he supports genocide, so I'd rather the guy win who ALSO supports genocide, wants Russia to invade more countries, thinks it's fine if China retakes Taiwan, wants a nationwide abortion ban, removal of civil rights for minorities, wants to overturn same-sex marriage (which the right-leaning majority in SCOTUS are already talking about), to cut back the role of congress in checking executive actions (including workarounds to avoid the need for congressional confirmation for presidential appointees), to remove federal employee protections so federal personnel can be replaced with Trump loyalists, and so on! That'll teach those Dems a lesson! THEN they'll be sorry. And fuck everyone the bad guys hurt, because I'll still be PURE. So what if top GOP officials want to actually NUKE Gaza?"

That's fucking kindergartner thinking.

Yes, Biden is a piece of shit, but I am not waxing at all hyperbolic when I say that a second orange shitgibbon term, with a far-right-majority SCOTUS--especially if the GOP manages majorities in both houses of congress--may be the end of what little is left of Democracy in the US. Not gonna argue about it, because I don't waste my time with petulant children.

Look at the GOP's plans for a Republican administration, and tell me you think it sounds better than another term of Biden. Hell, they've even set up online trainings and loyalty tests to narrow down potential federal hires to those who will commit to follow Trump without question.

I repeat: If you want more leftist candidates, if you want more worker power, if you want billionaires taxed, if you want to protect minorities and the queer community, you have to adopt the strategy that the right has used, educate yourself about what candidates stand for, and show up EVERY SINGLE TIME. Again, that includes primaries.

So many of us on the left would rather sit in the basement dreaming of some magical revolution that's going to fix everything, giving ourselves and others purity tests, and proudly announcing that we're... boycotting democracy by not voting(?), "because none of the candidates are a good choice."

Yeah, the left refusing to vote--or only voting in presidential elections--while the right turns up every time is exactly how we got here.

And you have to support the most left-leaning candidate even if it makes you gag, and even if "most left-leaning" means "not as openly fascist." This is the ONLY way you can be assured of candidates getting further to the left in the future. (Note that this means learning about your local candidates.)

"But voting won't fix--" I never said it was going to fix everything. There's no rule that if you vote, you can't volunteer with Food Not Bombs, or run for school board, or demonstrate, or circulate petitions. It takes more than voting, but voting has to be PART of our strategy.

You also have to accept that it may take decades to change course, and that you're not going to like every candidate you have to vote for.

The right didn't just magically get the orange shitgibbon into office overnight. It took decades of work. And if we want decent human beings in charge, we have to be willing to do the same.

[kaluxsims]

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet...I mean, oops, happy pride. This is a tough year to celebrate pride, and a tough time for me personally. I used to do a whole month of fun Pride CC, but it's just these terrible shorts this year. And that feels kinda fitting.

They were inspired directly by Target's horrendous wet fart of a "pride" collection this year. (Look here and here if you're unfamiliar.) I have some more thoughts that I'll continue with after the download, but this whole wretched collection feels like exactly what corporate america wants Pride to be. Quiet. Bland. Tame. Subtle. Things that queer people can't let them make us be.

The shorts come in english and simlish versions, with ugly socks and pathetic slides. AM only, with fat and preg morphs. The shorts are based on @mdpthatsme's 4t2 chinco shorts, but I made them shorter and brought them up to the TS2 waist, as well as recoloring and adding the butt text. The socks are my own edit of a TS4 texture. The slides are a conversion of @hexcodesims' TS4 Poolside Splash slides edit, with my own texture edit.

Download: SFS or MediaFire

Credits: @mdpthatsme for 4t2 shorts mesh, @hexcodesims for TS4 slides mesh, gazifu for Simlish Lengiza font, @paluding for The Tattooer (used for socks)

And if you're still reading, I have some things to say about how things are for queer americans right now. It's pretty grim. Our terrible president hates us, and so do all of his mindless followers. It's only 20-ish percent of the country, but they are so loud. They're so sure they're right. They want us dead, but they might settle for us going into hiding. Sad beige pride is still more pride than they want to see. It was done by Target as a compromise with the bigots. It pleases no one, even if it was a good laugh. It hurts too. It hurts that a corporation that used to make a big deal about Pride and even had trans inclusive swimwear one year caved so hard to the fascists. It hurts to see even the token support moneygrabs fade away...in a literal sense. The color went out of Target's pride. It's been drained.

Drained is the right word. It's how a lot of us feel, and scared. It's been exhausting watching our rights erode. Watching books about us being banned. Care being denied. Lies spreading. Laws against us. It feels like it only gets worse every year. Now the democrats are considering abandoning us in a bid to court voters from the right to their center-right party. We have no viable leftist party here. A leftist party would support our cause and try to earn our votes. The democrats would rather try to peel a few people over from the other side, which never works.

I'm sick and tired, of this country but also actually sick and tired. I never make it to my local Pride events, and I didn't even try this year. I'm happy to see the marches and protests and all of that going so strong, in spite...in opposition to the hate and gloom and conformity. Pride and No Kings and other marches and rallies had massive, vibrant turnouts. I love it. I wish I could be part of it. It's so important that we are seen, when they want us to vanish.

It gives me hope. We will make ourselves heard and seen. That's what Pride has been about all along. Fuck the beige.

[starberry-cupcake]

I'm back too soon, I'm sorry, I didn't let the last recap marinate enough and that's never a good idea because you can't keep up BUT WE'RE DONE WITH DAY FOUR!!!

previously, in nona del 9:

this happened

this is the general tag, for the uninitiated

CHAPTER 18 (eight house????? mayonnaise uncle???? duracell bunny nephew???? are you with us????)

angel teacher decides to write down an inventory in case they get looted, so that people don't ruin the kids' things

she also orders sriracha girlie to go turn down the generator

it's like when sam jackson was ordered to turn the power back on in jurassic park, idk about that

camilla trips, angel teacher caches her and I'm here thinking if camilla just stole something from her, because she'd never trip in her life

luckily for me, angel teacher asks about nona's drawing

she asks her, specifically, how she drew it and if she had seen what she draw in the picture

nona says she made it up and describes what I think might be an animal

"See these things? They're its ears. This thing is its nose, and you can't see it because I didn't draw it, but the mouth is under here. When first it was born, it used to live in a river, but then it got cold so it had to get large. I know the legs can't rotate, but you don't think that's stupid, do you?"

I thought it was an elephant, because of the ears, nose and lack of mouth in the drawing and legs that can't rotate, but idk about the river and the cold

maybe it's a mammoth

maybe it's a new zealand animal that's going over my head

maybe nona calls flippers legs and it's a whale, for all I know

in any case, DON'T TELL ME

camilla says she hasn't seen it before and angel teacher says it's a "cradle creature"

I was suggested to look up things I don't know in an online dictionary and, if it's not there, assume it's a book thing, but it's not working out with this

camilla (or maybe palmolive) says "I've heard that phrase. Somewhere" and angel teacher says "Have you?"

so maybe it is a book thing

this might be an animal that hasn't been seen by people at this time

like a mammoth for us

or a dodo

or the girl in waterworld who drew land things

and this is a point for the ice cube barbie theory, like the hokey pokey was

so, at this point, palmolive goes "fuck it" and throws caution to the wind

he doesn't say it outright, but I'm assuming it was his thought process

he asks angel teacher if, at some point, she received medical attention from the nine houses and if she's got an implant

this is noodle in that moment:

angel teacher understands, with that, what camolive might be

she goes "my colleague thought you were a prossie" and palmolive goes "What I know about sex work could fit in a teaspoon and leave a lot left over"

the intricacies of pimping and the ins and outs of sex work are very frequent conversations in this school

which is a lot more than I can say for the state of fundamental sex ed in a lot of places with conservative governments that obscure whatever can guarantee safety for all and the accessibility to education with diversity as a key part of it

and ban books, films and conversations about it

ANYWAY

they talk about the nickname the kids gave her and she says it's sriracha girlie's fault because she overheard things she doesn't understand

angel teacher is reticent towards palmolive and tells him that, if he gets close, she'll jump out a window and her body is "designed" to deny him answers

angel teacher thinks camolive is a lyctor, that they did something to her when they fake tripped, and that she might have messed up in some way, which prompted them to come out to her

palmolive swears on the life of camilla that they aren't a lyctor

angel teacher goes "Then that'll make this easier"

and my heart nearly stopped at that

WE KEEP PUTTING CAMILLA IN DANGER

CHISUS CHRIST

angel teacher, I respect you a lot, but if it's between you and camilla

nona is sitting on the ground in the blue light of varun, because she refused to leave camolive alone

and sriracha girlie enters and sees her

next nona knows, she's having the worst headache of her life and everything is a mess around her

when nona comes back from the blue screen in her head, after feeling like her brain was being squeezed out of her skull, she hears a voice cursing and trying to cancel something

angel teacher and the new person are, according to themselves, pretty fucked

new person says "You should have thought of that before you started playing teacher with the frigging Troia experiment"

angel teacher is clearly out of her depth here

I'm wondering where the fuck my wife is and if she's ok

angel teacher says she was trying to protect the kids, which I can appreciate and understand, but right now it's hard to be objective with them

WHEN I DON'T KNOW WHERE CAMILLA IS

MY REACTION REQUIRES A VIDEO, NOT GIF

angel teacher tells the other person "You discharge a firearm with me in the room, you'll get court-martialled and hanged"

which, again, makes me think...is this the most important vet in the planet???? what's this authority level?????

other person says "We play our cards right here, I can get Suffer out clean. Hell—I play this really right, nobody's going to know a thing until it's too late"

which immediately makes me think this is pash

it's insane to be on this side and know how much these people are playing with fire over here

I can't understate what a bad fucking idea this is and the only thing that can save them is that camolive and nona aren't into murdering for sport

but they're even pushing that

unknown person I think might be pash wants to finish off camolive and nona, but angel teacher is like

we suffer really has to deal with people going off like this at the worst possible moments

nona gets up and she's shot at so she gets mad because that's rude af

angel teacher is crying and saying she's sorry

but nona looks for camilla, which THANK YOU

camilla is lying on the ground, holding two bullets in her hands

she gets up and asks for an update

THAT'S FIERCE

SHE'S SO AMAZING

*absolutely insanely dangerous situation* me: where is camilla?????? camilla: *totally alright, holding bullets in her hands or having left lots of people lying on the ground and covered in someone else's blood* me: is this an awkward time to propose?

nona recognizes the other person as pash, with her distinctive machetes, but her way of talking shit and of ruining stuff was already a dead givaway

camilla asks pash why they weren't told angel teacher was one of them and pash is very quick to make clear that camilla isn't part of them

imagine not wanting camilla as part of whatever you're in

can't relate

I can't believe I survived a whole book with her showing up like only two times

IT'S FINE, I'M MOVING ON, I PROMISE

pash gets angry at nona because she made a radio call to coronabeer and nona says it was a pretend call

I KNEW THEY WERE GONNA FALL FOR THAT

I KNEW IT, I SAID IT HERE

angel teacher is like "that's the crown you always talk about?"

how many crowns do you think there are here, angel teacher?

is it a common name?

pash tells her "you just called wipe protocol on the fucking Lyctor project"

none of this is planned at all and we suffer is gonna be killed by high blood pressure with these people

angel teacher tries to stop whatever thing she unleashed and calls herself "the messenger"

not easy to stop people once you tell them to shoot freely

whatever merv wing is, I don't think they're stopping

angel teacher accepts camilla's help and says "I did call for you to be shot, though"

camilla says "No problem. So long as I can let out some deferred aggression"

nona is asked to go to the kitchen but she chooses to stay by camilla instead

when asked what she really wants to do, though, nona says she wants to find sriracha girlie

camilla is hesitant, because sriracha girlie saw something

I'm hearing alarms in my head at this, but nona, of course, is not

we're gonna regret this

pash thinks she can order camilla around and camilla is kind of like "I don't understand you very local jargon, so whatever"

not in those exact words

nona takes some time to think that pash is pretty, that her eyes are lovely and that her electric blue hair is cute

nona is easily distracted with people she thinks are pretty

because then she thinks she wants to marry camilla and adopt a dog with her

which, GET IN LINE, NONA

I WAS HERE TWO BOOKS BEFORE YOU

AND WE'RE ADOPTING KEVIN

palmolive has to agree to that too, though

MOVING ON

nona goes to the generator room to find sriracha girlie, who's curled up and has thrown up

she is saying that she made something up, which nona agrees with, even if she doesn't know what it is

I'm sure she didn't make anything up, this is all insane as it is

sriracha girlie happens to have a gun on her person

I'm worried she might have already used it

and she proves me right when she says she remembers shooting nona in the head

nona tries to lie and gaslight her

nona also feels disappointed that she won't see camilla fight

which, I relate, because we've seen her fight and

nona restrains sriracha girlie so she stays there while the whole fight is happening and, once over, angel teacher comes to retrieve them

nona asks about camilla and pash's status and angel teacher says "cuts and scrapes", which checks out with the absolute goddess, icon and legend that is camilla

sriracha girlie, upon reaching the classroom again, realizes she did shoot nona

camilla and pash have a moment in which they say the same thing and look at each other

YOU ALSO GET IN LINE, PASH

sriracha girlie is retreating, though, and I'm thinking this is it with this friendship

nona is embarrassed about sriracha girlie seeing her dead but there's no time to be embarrassed when you're getting shot

"You're out of the gang" says sriracha girlie, before shooting

so, the party is officially off, my friends

the girl who is in a cumple 24/7 has lost her party guests

JOHN 5:1

this part of the bible is when jesus heals someone who can't walk

which is, again, very telling

we find dr reverend emperor john setting a car on fire

he continues narrating his problems with getting people to listen to his ideas and plans and how he wanted them to do something about it

then, him and his team finally veer towards justice league territory and consider it's on them to save the world

P, who I'm assuming is our friend pyrrha, tells him that, in order to get them to do something, they need to scare them

so, in comes a mystery client

they ask dr reverend emperor john boi to make a puppet out of a person so it looks like he's alive

they offer him a lot of money for it, so they all consider it

meanwhile, the government and other suits continue the FTL project and are determined to ship billionares out into space

this is sci fi, nothing like this would ever happen in real life, right?

RIGHT?????

"a's little brother" (alfred?) says "money is one big shared hallucination" and ain't he right af

they all think there's something sus about the whole operation

mercygirl and augustine are in agreement and a united front, which scares everybody

they were probably already fucking

sorry, very rude of me to say, I should be more respectful

they were probably already pre-planning the lyctor orgies

so dr reverend emperor john butt, mercygirl and augustine go to the client's place and turns out the client is actually a country and the puppet is actually a leader

it remains unknown which and who

the country representatives give tons of reasons why dr reverend emperor john should go full on gepetto on this guy, but we all know he always acts like he's thinking about it but does it anyway

I don't think he thought that hard about it at all

so augustine, mercygirl and johnny boi start negotiating with these people and end up getting a couple billion doll hairs and a bomb

I'm sure that'll go great

CHAPTER 19 (THE TOMB!!!!!!)

nona wakes up, has been sleeping on chairs and has her legs and arms tied to them and a radiator

rip to you all, BOE or whoever the hell you are

nona has a tantrum

her third tantrum, she says

apparently, they're bad enough that camilla and pyrrha let her swim in the ocean to calm down, even if it's dangerous

so, nona screams as a warning to everyone that shit's about to get very real very fast

since I don't know where camilla is, I'm good, let her loose

you do you, nona

live your truth

fuck shit up

she breaks herself to escape the ties, one part at a time

there's a moment where she thinks "The plastic ties were good, like Corona had said"

and I was like "corona???????? what about crown???????"

I think it's the first time I read nona call coronabeer "corona" and not "crown"

it's not like nona is super strong but she's resilient, so she can kick shit down with patience and regeneration

I respect that

she sees people with pash's boots and has a moment of intense anger against pash for everything that went down

I mean, lying to sriracha girlie and making friends with her in the first place was on you, but still I don't know where camilla is, so by all means, nona, fuck shit up

they shoot her, as if that did anything, and she perseveres

she chases those who keep on shooting and they scream, running away, which is both fierce and kind of funny

nona screams and that makes the person running from her put their hands over their helmet

they drop a bag over her head and immobilize her so she starts to power down

"Inside the hood she heard her mouth say, savage and distinct and cool despite the trembles: 'Fool. You're killing her.' But she was only talking to herself, after all."

HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE WE KEEPING IN THIS GIRL?

IS THIS A CLOWN CAR?

I'm still rooting for the ice cube barbie theory somewhere in there

BUT HOW MANY SOULS CAN WE KEEP IN ONE PERSON?

JOHN 3:20

"Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed."

dream pov (who was referred to as harrow but doesn't sound to be her) says she forgets how to breathe sometimes

girl, same

dr reverend emperor john says they had three stages for their plan: 1) keep talking, 2) throw money, 3) reveal nuke

"We were willing to gamble on being tried at the Haugue just to stop the process. Ready to make a hell of a mess to buy time. Prepared to do anything to keep you going"

we keep talking to this pov as if she was some earth princess idk

"C— kept saying. Pick one. Are we more invested in proving this new plan is bullshit or in saving you? I was like, It's both, how can it not be both. C— was like, It can't be both. Pick one and stick to it. Decide what you give a fuck about"

saving earth princess personification who might or might not be ice cube barbie???? idk

"I found that the problem with being the death man is you stop giving much of a fuck"

girl who is referred to as harrow (but might be earth princess ice cube barbie or whatever) gets spooked about having goosebumps and dr reverend emperor john has to explain its mechanics

this is another thing to note

nobody is taking notes anymore because there's a war, so I'm keeping the notes myself

the authorities doing the project that they all think is sus continue to be sus and offer to choose 200 people for the first wave they're sending off to space

the final frontier

everyone apparently falls for their bs

they then claim they're starting to build the ship they need to send the first wave off

god and lyctor gang realize easily that they're full of shit and none of the stuff they seem to be doing correlates with actual things they should be doing if they were doing what they say they're doing

you get me?

so god and lyctor gang go to the authorities like naive kids and the billionares lie about it

who would have thought billionares lie????

according to him, they keep using the cows against him

that's kind of funny

they decide that, if they treat them like they're a cult, they'll be a cult

not like it already wasn't on its way there, honestly

a slippery slope that turned into a toboggan real fast

so, john god asshat decides to drop the science and start the theater

he starts calling himself a necromancer

*dramatic pause*

that's really interesting, actually

because we start this journey just taking necromancy for granted, it's interesting to see it originating as something science-related and then being named that as a sort of theatrical way to call people's attention

it's interesting to see a journey in which this came to exist that isn't just "necromancy exists in this universe", which would have been totally valid too

but here we see that it's actually something else that was named this way to make it seem more attractive to audiences, which is an interesting level of storytelling

very cool

AND THAT'S IT WITH THIS DAY!!!!! this is a long one, I was gonna do two chapters but then the next two were short enough. As a bonus, here's Dana who was looking at birds while I was reading this part in the backyard.

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

Idea: Apocalypse Averted AU, Five gets his paper work updated and is officially his age of 58. Luther suggests they could all go to Vegas for the weekend now that Five can't be thrown out for being a minor.

Five is surprised by the suggestion but then Luther is saying "Well I'm sure you could win a lot of money by counting cards, you could probably pick it up real quick, knowing you". And well, he loves a challenge. And there's alcohol. So why not

Diego joins too because no way will he be lamer than Luther and Allison goes with them, officially because "You idiots can't be left alone in Vegas" but actually she just wants to see how it goes.

(more under the cut, this got kinda long)

Klaus has had enough of bright colors and loud noises for a while, the club was already enough, he doesn't need another flashback, thank you very much

Viktor also stays because his hearing is so sensitive now and it'd be hell he imagines

So the first group goes to Vegas, at first it's fun, even if some of them won't admit it. They drive limousine, have some fancy drinks, explore the Las Vegas strip, go to some restaurants.

And then they actually go to a casino and all hell breaks loose.

Diego had been studying a gambling book and Luther had bet $10 on roulette and won. Diego urged him to go again, it's a 50/50 chance anyway.

Luther did and-

-lost.

Luther gets up at Diego about it and Five says "Of course you shouldn't have listened to him, it's Diego"

Then they get into a fight with each other and get kicked out of that casino.

Allison then banned them from games involving actual people for the next hour.

They go to the slot machines a bit and Luther accidentally rips off the handle of one of them.

Overall, they lose A LOT

Five tries a virtual Blackjack game loses twice, then wins, almost cashes out, before he thinks 'I am in a flow right now and the winnings wouldn't even out my losses right now' and goes again.

He loses and screams at the thing

Meanwhile Diego found one that has a mini Jackpot and a Big Jackpot (why are there two Jackpots?!!) and right as he put money in, he broke the mini jackpot. Then he saw the Big Jackpot is almost at its limit too, so he spends like half an hour on that game

Only to lose all of his earnings.

He screams at the thing

The three guys get kicked out of that one too

Then they realize "WHERE IS ALLISON?!"

They obviously can't go back...

...except they can because they are trained child soldiers, so back in again it is.

Luther was sadly caught, but that helped Diego sneak back in again

Five simply blinked.

So, where was Allison during all of that?

In a secret area for A-list celebrities playing Blackjack of course.

Both Diego and Five get there, are caught right as Allison spotted them, getting increasingly frustrated and cashes out.

They get out and realize "Where the fuck is Luther?!"

Luther is actually on a party bus, but they just go back to the hotel. Allison goes to the spa, Diego and Five back to their rooms, expecting to find Luther, but he isn't there.

Both of them groan but since they don't even have an idea where he is they think that he'll probably get back to the hotel at some point.

And he does, except he's blackout drunk. They lay him to bed, Five says he's had enough and gets another drink. And another. And then he just gets the bottle.

None of them can sleep. It's way too hot and it's way too loud. What are these walls made out of, paper?!

They had a reservation for lunch the next day but they all overslept way past noon

They go walk the Strip again only to find cosplayers dressed as Umbrella Academy members.

So they decide "actually this is awful, let's go" and just do not think about all the money they lost

So, what did Klaus and Viktor do during all of this?

Well, they went to brunch, then they visited a butterfly house, afterwards they took a stroll through the park, eating ice cream, while ending the day by watching 'But I'm a cheerleader' with pizza that they ordered.