#((my brain did NOT want to work on this at all hhhhhhh

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

*fast breathing* TWINS?!!!

IS IT TWINS?!!!

"My dear, why would it be twins? I only cast a spell that forms a singular child, no more or less!"

"Unless something happened that made you change your influence."

"Nah ah, my beloved! I wouldn't have wanted it any other way: one child is quite fine!"

"Oh cut the shit. I'm being serious. A single child wouldn't be developing this quickly with a demonic pregnancy and you know it. You have more knowledge about this topic than I do, so I need you to realize this."

"I took a test to figure out what we're having. You think this is all fun and games, don't you? Well newsflash."

"It's twins. Your. Twins."

Now Alastor doesn't know how to act...this is a joke. Just a farce and nothing more! He knew they were immersed in their roles when the time rolled around, so he laughed it off.

"Oh ho ho, my dear! Good one: my oh my, you always have such a lovely sense of humor."

"...are you kidding me?! You seriously think this is a joke?! I'm being genuine here! We only planned to have one kid, not two at the same time! Why aren't you getting that?!"

Okay, they definitely weren't acting. It was noticeable because how they were tearing up right in front of him. The first time in a while that they genuinely started crying, and it was concerning to Alastor.

"I am not ready for twins, Al! But I can't just abandon them like I was when I was born: I refuse to fail these two! The problem is how the hell are we going to pull this off?! On top of that, I'm going to look huge during this!"

Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit. This was a genuine reaction and fear coming from them, and Alastor felt his heart practically getting shredded into two. Their tears were something that spiked his nerves, and by God he was going to comfort and calm them down. This was not his intention, and he needed to let them know that.

"Double Trouble: my love, I need you to take a breath for me, alright? We are not going to fail them. We will not abandon them. And while you will get bigger, it doesn't diminish how stunning you are. Alright?"

"...alright...I'm sorry, Al..."

"Don't ever be sorry, darling. I love you. And we'll get through this...we're having two children: more to love, you know? And rest assured, I promise you..."

"I won't leave you for a minute. I swear on my afterlife."

//BONUS//:

"YOU CALLED IT?!"

"I WAS JOKING, I DIDN'T EXPECT THEM TO ACTUALLY HAVE TWINS!!!"

[throwing-summers-at-the-walls]

///

[just-a-carrot]

Re: the line about other side stuff you want to do in the future. Honestly that's so fair and I relate sijdiasdji, I'm always personally conflicted about how much more I should do because if I could I would make an infinite number of side games asaisdsad BUT OBVIOUSLY I can't I am but one Creature. I will be waving my little flags of support for you, the potato, and the possible Many Other Carrots™️, because whatever direction you decide to take your work in I'm sure will be-- and is-- worth it. Your skills keep on growing and while telling all stories one may wish to tell is impossible, the ones you're able to tell will be worth it. OW let me feel seen in a way that no other media has. It's up there as one of my top favorite VNs, and for good reason. MANY good reasons. Anyyyyywaaays that's all to say ✨you're doing great✨ and keep on keeping on. Whatever comes of it will be amazing.

OH I MOSTLY JUST MEANT DIFFERENT TYPES OF OW SIDE GAMES THAT AREN'T RELATED TO OFW. like, i feel like i don't think i'll ever actually make another OFW side game because it's kind of self-contained and though i love thinking about it, i don't know if i'd have enough ideas to make another complete game. however, i'd still love to make other OW side games in general dkjfadsf unsure at this moment what they would be... but i have various Idea Kernels bumping and bopping about in the noggin. i also plan to do some sort of remaster of OW once it's complete -- there are CGs in the early arcs i want to go back and redo because they Pain Me now. also even some sprites kind of grate on me... guhh... at the very least, i want to make sure char designs and stuff are just made more consistent, as you can see where some of the early designs look a bit different to how i draw them now (mostly small details, though it's more apparent on some chars than others lkdjfads). coupled with that i'd love to do things like add some livelier scripting to some of the earlier arcs, as well as maybe even draw a few more CGs here and there. who can say. i also did that poll a while back about potentially adding optional iggy side images. i'm still thinking about that.

i think if i did return to OFW it would end up being something similar -- maybe a remaster type thing where i go back in and add some of the CGs that i didn't have time to do in the time restrictions but that i would have loved to add. then giving it the feature treatment like with OW by adding a gallery and other stuff. if i did that, maybe i would add some other little extra, like some extra scenes or hidden scenes. that could be a way to do a little bit more with the story without committing to a whole new game lakdjfad COMPLETELY UNSURE THO AND NO ACTUAL PLANS RIGHT NOW. i still need to finish the main game before any of this can happen LOL

as far as stuff completely unrelated to OW / future different games, i do have one idea i've been cultivating for a long time i'd love to potentially make into a game eventually. but i think it needs a bit more stewing time in the brain first. and i still have a lot i want to do with the OW world beforehand

HHHHHHH THANK YOU THO. FOR ALL THESE LOVELY WORDS AND THOUGHTS. i am really happy and touched if people can enjoy these characters and world... 🥺💕

[worm-food09]

This is a very personal post lmao. Basically a rant. Unreasonably long eheh

I just generally hate affection in all its forms and here’s why. :D

Physical Touch: i HATE being touched. Like don’t touch me or I will Actually claw you. My closest friend’s love language is p.t. and they struggle with remembering this and sometimes it really overwhelms me but I feel so bad that I can’t reciprocate. That’s why I LOVE texting and video calls!!!

Words of Affirmation: personally, when people tell me that I did something well, such as “good job” or “you have good taste” or “you did that really well” I’m just like Duh I know. I am an INTJ-T lmao. However when ppl give complements on my CHARACTER, such as “you’re so smart” or “you’re so talented” or “you’re such a good big sister” I don’t believe them for a second and it makes me feel worse. I’m working on my self-depreciation so don’t worry, but it’s really hard and I’ve tried telling my dad but he just brushed it off with “you’re being too sensitive” hhhhhhh

Quality Time: it just feels too vulnerable. I don’t like being the center of attention in general bc I’m an introverted lil guy. but when it’s PERSONAL and INTIMATE, I feel like I’m being picked apart and dissected and “oh fuck now they know all my flaws and secrets and they can sense my fear and they know oh fuck fuck fuck” Additionally, I have NO idea on how to have a conversation. My brain literally freezes and all I can do is consciously stare laser beams into their eyes bc that’s what normal ppl do right?

Acts of Service: I’m actually kind of ok with this one, but only if I’M the one giving the service. Otherwise I feel guilty like “why would you waste your energy on me wth” My mom has been doing consistent acts of service for me tho, such as organizing my desk while I’m at dads house, emptying my almost-filled trash can, restocking my mini fridge with snacks, filling my water bottle, and I know she loves me. And I can actually reciprocate on this one yay :D

Gifts: it’s as simple as me not knowing what other people want and being too scared to ask and me being too quiet so nobody knows what I like lmao. Also I do feel guilty a little bit when people get me things but I’m not financially situated/not in the mentality to gift others things as well.

Sorry for the long post lmao ig I just needed to get that off my chest. Turns out typing on an iPad is a lot harder than it sounds :P

Also if u need help feel free to rant to me bc that is my love language. People ranting about something they’re passionate about or emotional about. As the wise and majestic and All-Knowing Cavetown once said,

“Rant to me, I like the sound, I like your voice”

By which I mean, which one do you naturally have the hardest time receiving, and do not usually think to give to others? Obviously, anyone can become fluent in any love language, but which would take the most work for you?

Feel free to put your natural love language in the tags as well, I'm curious to see if there are any trends.

[tuxedokit]

Dion song associations - lightning round

"Line Without a Hook" By Ricky Montgomery; water themings and longing vibes made me just kinda latch this song onto Dion for no real reason. it vibes.

"The Kids Aren't Alright" by Fallout Boy; this one vibes so hard actually. I don't have an infodump as to why it's connected I just think the refrain fits Dion pretty well.

"Semi-Automatic" by 21 Pilots. "The family will be better off when YOU'RE out!" Dion you mean little bitch. You mean little asshole I am going to crumple you like a piece of paper. Oughhhh

"Painkiller" by Ruel. idk man something about the vibes. The slow dance feeling of this song. The "Heartbreaks, headaches / the doctor says I'm diagnosed with / shit days, mistakes / but I'll be fine." Do you get my vision do you feel the vibes.

"Wrecking Ball" by Mother Mother. Just. Dion making these awful little mistakes that hurt his loved ones because she's an emotionally repressed teenager with Issues. Feeling remorse over how she's not as good an older sibling as she wants to be. hhhhhhh

"Trampoline" by The Front Bottoms. Dion & Frazie reconnecting after the events of the games vibes, after the psychophobia and secrets and adolescent stresses pushed them apart.

"I Like Me Better" by Lauv. Kind of a joke one but like. Dion/Gisu Dion/Gisu Dion/Gisu Dion/Gisu Dion/Gisu. I am a sappy little romantic at heart and I very much love the idea of these two being able to be happy together.

"Forest" by 21 Pilots. Something about these lyrics just,,,, I might have to do a full infodump on the vibes I get and the animatic I imagine but stuff like "I don't want to be heard / I want to be listened to" and "I took some food for thought / it might be poisoned / the stomach in my brain / throws up onto the page" and like. The whole bridge but especially "Something happened to my imagination / this situation's becoming dire / my treehouse is on fire / and for some reason I smell gas on my hands" and Dion growing up too fast because of her parentification. I just. I just. oughhh

"I/Me/Myself" by Will Wood; GENDERFLUID DION GENDERFLUID DION GENDERFLUID DION

"Glowing Eyes" by 21 Pilots; this is a vibes one but like. Dion having to work through their issues.

"prom queen" by beach bunny. You can't tell me this song doesn't vibe with Dion Aquato I will not hear it. I'm too busy having fun with the knowledge that this song vibes with Dion Aquato and he would unironically listen to this.

"Way Less Sad" by AJR. Yeah it's really easy to make AJR songs vibe but like. This one definitely vibes with Dion. She's getting better but it's slow. It's not an easy process.

"Prom Dress" by Mxmtoon. Do you see my vision. Do you see it. "I keep collections / of masks upon my wall / to keep myself from / revealing it all / upsetting others is the last thing I would do / I keep to myself though I want to break through" and "I'm sitting here / crying in my prom dress / I'd be the prom queen / if crying was a contest / makeup is running down / feelings are all around / how did I get here / I need to know" DO YOU SEE MY VISION. DO YOU SEE THE VIBES

"Angels & Demons" by Marina. Another vibes one but trust me it fits I swear. "Try to change / but I can't get a grip / wondering if I was born like this" and just. the entire fuckign song are you getting these vibes

"World's Smallest Violin" by AJR. I think about that ending bit so much. I think about it and my Dion brain ideas so much. And like. Yeah Dion's got issues but so does the whole family!! So Dion feeling like his issues are small and unimportant in comparison to everyone else's but still needing to vent. mm

"MANiCURE" by Lady Gaga. Again this is both vibes and "Dion would listen to this and enjoy it. Dion would sing this to themself under their breath while working" and I am RIGHT.

And then I have one more but I think I'm gonna give that one it's own ask because i have A Lot More to say about it than I initially thought

-💜

OK IVE LISTENED TO MOST OF THESE AND YES I LOVE YOU THEM

Line Without A Hook - separate ask

The Kids Aren't Alright - i loved fob in high school i cant communicate it very well right now but youre right. youre very right. "former heroes who quit too late / and just wanna fill up the trophy case again" dion wanting to be that good older sibling but after everything is it worth it to even try, can she undo all the damage? "empty your sadness / like youre dumping your purse on my bedroom floor" who cares if its worth it thats her baby brother shes gonna try

Semi-Automatic - "im never what i like / im double sided / and i just cant hide / i kinda like it / when i make you cry / cause im twisted up" dion wanting to be a good sibling but she just. keeps. doing the opposite. the satisfaction when her words cut deep and she can tell vs the immediate regret once she realizes what shes said, what shes done.

Painkiller - it doesnt vibe w my dion as much, but its definitely dion being in love with someone. and the chorus, absolutely, yes, correct

Wrecking Ball - idk how much i can add. throwing these punches, these hurtful words, not because she means it or means to hurt, but ... well, she doesnt even know why? all he knows is the words have been said and they cant be taken back and now raz has run away and frazie looks at them with distant sadnes and then raz is back and she still finds herself spitting venom instead of apologies and even dad is shaking his head in disappointment now and she wants to have an excuse, an explanation, a reason for throwing all this hurt but she doesnt

Trampoline - dion & frazie reconnection song what if i cry youre so right im slamming my head into the wall metaphorically. one lyric for you "sometimes i try to fake it / but you know me better" they used to be so close and frazie being the only one dion would allow to see any of those insecurities and then they drift and theyve been distant for years but she still knows her sister and despite all the pain she still loves him because dion is trying now and even before theyre family and that love was why it hurt so much (if i get a separate ask ill get more into my analysis)

I Like Me Better - didnt listen to it yet!!!

Forest - not on spotify so i couldnt get a proper vibe check, but i wholeheartedly believe u

I/Me/Myself - YOU GET IT YOU GET IT I LOVE THIS SONG IVE LOVED IT FOR A YEAR AT LEAST ITS SO YES YES YES YOUR MIND

Glowing Eyes - didnt listen

Prom Queen - absolutely dion unironically vibes to this also the insecurity resonating with him is giving me feelings also also "teach me how to be okay / i dont wanna downplay my emotions" vs dion suppressing all her emotions all the time.

Way Less Sad - "i dont wanna hurt no more / so i set my bar real low" "its stupid but its all i have" tearing myself apart

Prom Dress - I SEE THE VISION. I SEE IT. ALSO MY CHEST HURTS. /POS "i tend to handle usually things by myself / and i cant ever seem to try and ask for help" DO YOU SEE IT.

Angels & Demons - same as forest

World's Smallest Violin - rhis one sent me into a stimming frenzy cause it fit so well and also songs that end by going a bit slow and speeding up and amping up right at the end always make me insane. anywya yeah. dion not feeling like shes allowed to take up space in her pain and grief cause everyone elses is so much worse

MANiCURE - YOU ARE RIGHT this is entirely i can see dion singing along into a hairbrush in my minds eye

[theboarsbride]

Can I get some Wyrm's Bride thoughts/headcanons, please? (Sorry if this comes in twice, your ask box was acting a little weird earlier!)

OH MY GOSH OK IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME A HOT MINUTE TO REPLY TO THIS COLLEGE/WORK HAS BEEN GETTING BUSY AND MY BRAIN ROT HAS BEEN DIRECTED ELSEWHERE HHHHHHH😭😭😭😔😔 I've been neglecting Grima and Tathareth, it's unfair-

OK GONNA TRY AND MAKE THIS CLEAR AS POSSIBLE AS IM CURRENTLY HALF AWAKE AND ALLERGIES ARE KICKIMG MY BUTT

BUT👏👏 Wyrm's Bride AU!! Kinda of a 'fairytale au' that's based off the fairytale Lindworm Prince and Russian film I Am Dragon! Grima is a beeg ole snake/lindworm creature, Tathareth is someone offered up as a sacrifice to him but PLOT TWIST he doesn't kill her and romance shenanigans ensue 😩💦

Grima became creature because of Sauruman because.... of course! Wizard is petty and mean enough to curse him like that lmao, probably as some sort of punishment for being a shitty spy in Rohan once the Fellowship shows up like the gang of absolute Giga Chad Madlads that they are😔😔😔

Never put TOO much thought into this curse but I love the idea of it being a 'man at night, creature during the day' !

Snake!Grima makes lots of gator sounds! The deep, growling purrs, especially. XD

Probably has a HOARD! Some small treasures, but mostly hoards stuff like books, scrolls, etc. Prefers bookish materials over finery, lowkey 🥺

In terms of like... inner turmoil Grima wants to try and separate HIMSELF from his Wyrm self. Sort of like he does in Serpentine Whispers, where there is Grima, a man who is cunning and has the capacity to do good (but chooses not to), and then there is Wormtongue, the sly, dark ugly and unwanted aspects of his character.

So in this AU there is Grima, the man, and the Wyrm, an embodiment and manifestation of everything awful about him

Tathareth is offered as a sort of sacrifice to him because elves of Lothlorien (or off brand Lothlorien in a separate fantasy setting lmao), in a moment of infinite wisdom, think that giving a giant Wyrm that made himself at home in some caves just on their realm's borders a maiden to "wed" (or eat lmao) would appease him......also they wanna make peace with the beeg scary lizard before it becomes a nuisance 😩💦....also they could slay him themselves but for plot convenience we'll just say that elves aren't privy to slaying dragons anymore

And she is given as a sacrifice since she's no (living) family to be remembered by and she makes no effort to be social, and create social bonds, with elves soooooooo needless to say she wouldn't be missed 😩😔

She gets all done did and elaborately dressed in a gaudy bridal gown of lace and gossamer and silks, wears a veil and jewelry adorned with bells to garner attention, wears wreaths and headdress made of various red flowers, wears gaudy red makeup, and spent the previous night drinking a FUCKTON of wine so her blood tastes sweet..... and she also has a blade hidden on her, a fancy bejeweled one, that she hopes to use to slaughter her wyrm husband

A whole procession ensues, including the elves bringing various elven treasures and luxury foods, even having Tathareth riding atop an elaborately adorned horse with the intention of Grima devouring it as an offering as well. LOOKS like a wedding procession, but the somber folk hymns being sung and dour atmosphere make it feel like one for a funeral.

Tathareth has a whole internal meltdown realizing how her people never truly cared for her, thinking so little of her that they throw her away to be eaten by a wyrm. Realizes that she must be undesirable and wretched if that's the case.

Grima never devours her (or the horse) and spares her life, but accepts her as an offering for a wife because 1) pretty lady and he feels bad 🥺 2) .......actually 1 is one of the only reasons because why not

Tathareth is too scared to really do anything, let alone try to slay him as she planned, so she just tries to hide and cry her feelings out

Nighttime comes and BAM! She meets human Grima😩

She believes him to be a prisoner of the Wyrm as well, so she begins to cling to him as a companion so she feels less alone 😔

Grima just tries to distance himself from his Wyrm self because he is terrified of being reminded of his shitty behavior lmao

So she gets sad whenever he leaves her during the day for reasons that are a mystery to her, buuuuuuutttt she gradually puzzles out that Grima and the Wyrm are one in the same because obviously lmao

Because it's quite the coincidence that Grima disappears in the day only to he replaced by the Wyrm, and vice versa

And because both exhibit melodramatic, sneaky, intelligent, and overall cold attitudes

But a friendship develops when Tathareth realizes that Grima ain't so bad 🥺

And friendship turns to love ofc😭😭😭🥺🥺

Love confession scene would deadass look something like this scene:

Tathareth wonders if she can heal him at all, but comes to terms that her powers as a healer can only go so far when it comes to healing black magic 😔

So Grima is snake forever

But they manage

As beeg snake and hippie elf wife lmao

HHHHSHSBSJJSSNJSKS IVE NOT THOIGHT OF THIS AU IN AGES OH MY GOSH HHHHHSBSBS

thank you SM for this ask, bro!!!!!🥺🥺🥺💛💛💛 I hope ya like my crazy aah rambling

[vynsvision]

What if MC wasn't a lawyer?

Originally, this was going to be a list for me to have on hand for self-inserts or if I wanted to adjust Rosa for a fic. It become a brainstorming piece about all the alternate versions or jobs/work positions Rosa could have held instead of being a lawyer for Themis Law Firm.

WC: roughly 1.2k

In my daily checking of the "tears of themis" tag (by recent because yeah duh), I read sdaomine's minific au about vilhelm (svart!vyn) kidnapping his enemy's daughter and proposing marriage. And then another post in the tag was maybe about Marius's assistant minific- not sure bc I didnt read it. [edit: did read it later and no it wasn't, but this is now irrelevant.] But, point is, it got my brain going and thinking and I realized each of the boys have like an alternate place for Rosa to have been instead of Artem's subordinate in the Themis Law Firm.

Vyn:

1. A Svart citizen/person of royalty- someone who was/is also of lineage, and they connect that way. Maybe helping him ease the dislike he has of his home country. This person has the money and connections to get answers.

2. Someone Vyn works with or went to school with for Psychology n stuff. Someone who would also work at Giannovyn. Someone who knows how to observe and analyze the effects of the NXX drug, and maybe is sent from like the govt to discover how serious this is and how hard they need to crack down.

Marius:

1. His assistant. Duh. What more do I say. Not sure how they would be relevant to the nxx investigation but whatever.

2. Heir or high up in a competing company, and they personally are into biology and chemistry outside of work bc mc having two degrees or doctorates or whatever would be hot. Or maybe 3 bc they can have one in business, too. Sexy.

Luke:

1. Fellow NSB agent is the obvious piece. It would, of course, change their dynamic drastically, but I just think MC should be allowed to hot as an agent. Maybe they were kept secret and mc is undercover as Artem's subordinate. Anyway.

2. Even better, (or worse, depending) MC was recruited by some other agency/organization and so when they realize they're on competing intelligence sides...... hhhgg.

Now that I think about it, Artem also has an alternate:

1. Simply, instead of working with Themis, MC works for Baldr. Imagine that. Basically the same, but MC might be harder and Artem and them would be enemies to lovers. Sexy.

Darius: (because this is My Post)

1. Fellow detective. Pretty straightforward.

2. Someone who is in witness protection or is currently a Criminal (boss or second-hand) but isn't going to be pulled in because of a Deal that they and Darius make. Hhhhhhh this is self-indulgent but let me live.

Now, to a degree, I understand why MC is a lawyer. Someone has to prosecute (or whatever) the bad guys or the offending party. But if we went with any of these differing routes, here are some ideas-

1. In biology or chemistry, it would be neat to be able to test chemicals n stuff. Like... seeing how one thing reacts to a different thing, and trying to find the right combination.

2. Business... not really sure, but it could open up more characters and arguments/debates/conversations with people who are shady but you can't just pull them into court.

3. Agent stuff... this is obvious but a fight. This is, of course, the most attractive option, because it wouldn't be something you could skip- the cards would change to be able to be applied to weapons, maybe, or if you could have backup. Like "Clash Royale" from Supercell or something. That would be so cool!! This is. The coolest option so far.

4. Baldr option doesn't change this, really. It would still be debates n shit. Which is fine bc it wouldn't be Themis. Maybe we could debate against Artem in public court. Imagine the fics........ *ahem* Anyway!

5. Svart option... this would probably be similar to the business option. Connecting with government contacts and having a wider range of authority would be an attractive feature. Like, being able to meet with a government official, and then stepping out and checking in with a street contact and comparing the information. Maybe thats too agent-y, but I didn't specify what part of the Svart government MC's Svart family would work for/be a part of.

6. Psychology option (like if mc worked at Giannovyn) could be more specific like figuring if someone is lying n stuff? Watching someone speaking and having been told to look for certain tells, and you have to catch them by taping on them in that spot when the tell happens.

7. While an assistant [to Marius] would have access to the same stuff, they would have access to equals in other places. Someone who is overlooked, and would have a better connection with househands or bystanders, yanno? Being able to use the authority of Pax and being the CEO'S assistant, but also being able to meet regular people and being able to relate to them without the intimidating aspect.

8. As for the Darius mention, a fellow detective would be neat because then you can take part in interrogations or investigations- as someone posted the other day as an irl-lawyer-reacts-to-lawyer-otome said in the post, lawyers don't actually partake in the investigation. It just. Doesnt happen. And they're right!! So let me take part in investigating and interrogating and gathering info beside Darius!!!

9. Or as a criminal having connections under the table n shit. This one i mostly explained before but yeah having connections to who's selling what and oh through the grapevine of Crime or homeless or the overlooked, this is the info I got. Mmmmm. Thinking again of fics we won't get bc mhy are cowards

Honestly, the more I think about this, the more I wonder why the Heck MHY didnt choose these options. "For the cards" makes sense, I guess, but when you dont have to pay attention to the debate and they're just there to get resources and not pay attention to your phone... its disappointing. I do like the story finale debates because you have to choose the right evidence that applies, or the "hmm, no, this evidence doesn't match with that evidence" parts in the main episodes of story... (wow, do I just miss the main story?)

I think the cards could apply in different ways and they could really get more player interaction and giving-a-shit. It would be cool to know the stats of cards better, kinda like in Genshin, where you have to build characters a certain way to get the best results, whereas in ToT im pretty sure you just. Level shit up.

These are just my thoughts, but I'd like to hear if anyone has additional ideas or thoughts!

[Note: this was mostly written in descending order, so if I say "theres not much on this thought" in one place and then later elaborate, its because more came to me later for a different spot on this post.] [It was also typed and posted via the mobile app so please bear with me if there are errors... I'm doin my best]

[purplecladmerchant]

I hug jhonny

Jhonny: WATCH THE HAIR

Actually. I likeyou guys.

I'm coming of age so it's +2, and my arcana is X so it's a 7 or higher >:3..... NAT 20

WHAT a fucking queen

And she immediately broke all this fight in a single contraspell.

And you can hear Murph just rolling down into dumb mode because what else he can do. Whumped.

All pompadour and no brain. Actually I want to be jhonny

Fia having dispelled that big book and then stealing it is full win. Big bitch.

"Thanks for not dying. Thay would ruin my weekend..."

"Would you move cuz you love him or it's bigger?

BIGGER ROOM"

Zirk is back! Hi zirk... why are you getting yourself on beeto goo. You big geniou idiot.

..... baby you're a fire zirk. I hate you. Also jake joining the sing. Gidfucking idiots. I hate them.

Critting with the pass without pass amd Billy getting a fucking lot.

"Only a 21, looser?"

Zirk and Billie are actually cute together. Smooch guys. Murph is honoring their rolls even if he hates them. Which honestly. Same Murph.

The secret of the pompadour is lava. That's why I never got to keep mine in place.

ACTUALLY I LOVE KRISSY AND JHONNY AND BILLIE. They meet and are all sweet♡

Fia? Fia!? FIA FIA FIAAA!!!

Mr Henry Mr Zirk! Give me hugs!!!

And a little ritual of check kisses♡

Murph "terrible.... Isac kills you"

Oh dog.... I know zirk is gonna fuck this bag.

"I've been undercover and I am like SO horny" she's gonna fuck everyone on this party. Everyone. "I've been living with Krissy. Same" jhonny is in

OMG CALDWELL JUST SAY THINGS GDI.

Good bye rouges.

Zirk knows three to four things. My boy.AMD HE WANTS TO PUT A BANDAGE ON THE FAKE BLEEDING ROCK. I love you idiot.

Fia is just the sweetest thing ever "let's make little ropes with our hands that ties to eachother."

Mean bukvar? Isn't that Phillip? Vdhakfjsl Henry don't.

Fia: I can't do this. Mr Hank. Can you /and she walks away/ I don't know if he's crying or coming and I think it's both!

Hank: ok so.

Zirk: let me talk to him whiner to whiner, ok /starts whining with the fairy/

Jake laugh in the back.

I love this

Owen: Level with me here ok?

Zirk: Ok. THIS IS A LOT. AND I JUST.

The whiner-to-whiner worked.

Erina's magic is like paint. Mine is like maths. Number. Hers is... messier.

Lovely. Fia boginya I love you.

I need to read it.

I peek I've Hank shoulder :0

I LOVE YHEM I LOVE THEM.

Spoilers.

Brian Murphy. Your brain. My jaw in the floor. The last judgment. Hhhh everything is about human shaming humanity. Misplased faith, green. MURPHY. all the legends are that, legends. HHHHHHh.

The reaper giving up on this world. H. My heart. Murphy you're so good at this

"I was wrong" regret. FIA. FIIIAAAAA.

His world building. When a God cast a concentration spell, it last for ever. But its part of live. The worst horrors, are created by humans.Mutph. ALL OF THIS. ALL OF THIS. HHHHH

HOLD ME.

The difference between Fia's Father, who did horrible acts for a supposed but terrible love for her, and lingers in regret.

And Zirk's mother who spread his malice and control through time and have not an ounce of regret, because has not an ounce of respect.

Anyway this is as good time as any to say the abusive behavior of Stella of pretend that big break up was a whim of her abused, and come back with a smile, pretending nothing has happened and everything is right where it was to perpetuate the abuse without daring to acknowledge the damage done by her that caused the break down in first place.

Yeah.

That.

I need to sexualize her so it doesn't hurt me anymore.

Back to liveblogging... the.. the trickster also leave ;0;

Your brain Murphy. Fae fears humanity. They are immortal but rarely reproduce, humans are weaker but multiply their numbers and killed two gods.

MY GOD.

The more I know about this world the more curious I'm about Henry. Look I know I have been talking nonstop about Zirk. But that's me thinking w my dick. I LOVE HENRY SO MUCH I need to know more of this man. He's so good.

Zirk first question being who's hooking up with who. Stupid idiot why you so horny.

Hank: HOW ARE THEY BOTH WHINING.

Whine to whine communication. I love them. I think Zirk should suck his di/forcefully taken out of the stage/

Hanks I've been missing family kill me.

Ok I love the endo friends. They are really friends. Look at these cute rouges being friends

God Billie why. Krissy. Krissy no. What do you mean "is thay second base" when they kill eachother. That's the whole homerun.

(Against ROUGES) Ok. you have to beat (perception).... a five.

Imposible to lose.

I have been hearing eldermourne, but didn't liveblog because I have no mobile data for other 5 days.

still. I wrote everything down.

I'm gonna copy apste a lot of rambles. you know the drill

[bisexual-horror-fan]

Bex!!! I have lots of Thoughts™️ about Ash & all the somftness he deserves!🥺 Gotta remove my brain and shake out all the dust so I can find Words (not that there’s much to shake out😂) for this request. Someone like me would never be looked at by him twice but godDAMN the thought of him being loved for who he is!!!!!! Makes me weak!!!! Something likeeee a long hard tiring day which is making Y/N wanna cry but then they come home and there’s ASH and then they DO cry because ASH and they love him and he’s ?????? But so grateful and!!!! Somft cuddles on his sofa!!!!! Ash is lil spoon because Y/N wants to protecc!!! The man who protects everyone but never gets protected in return!!!! Just two tired bodies meeeeeeelting into each other mwah mwah Ash deserves to have his face peppered in kissies. God the bRAINROT :((((( (I specifically envision this with Older!Ash; season 1 is my faaaavourite!!!!) I couuuuld go on, you know I could, but I’ll behave myself. I’m love you mUCHLY hhhhhhh been in this ride a while & I can’t see me leaving anytime soon. Ash is ride or die!!!!

Sweet Eri BABY!!! It’s your birthday today and you wanted this sweet lovely comfort so here it is! I hope you love it, I thought a lottt about this leading up to the big day and I know it is short but I hope it hits hard, I piled it on thick! Seriously Eri you are amazing, I love you, Ash loves you, the whole slasher fam loves you! I hope you have a great birthday! I could go off about you for hours stg but I will keep this short so you can get to the fic!

---

I Need...

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Rating. SFW. Length. 1.2K. Ash Williams X Erika. NOT READER INSERT. Warnings: Comfort. Crying. Teasing. Pet Names. Sweetness. Cuddling.

---

Today was…Fuck, did you even have words to describe how today was?

Awful, heinous, terrible, exhausting, every single word seemed to fall short of how the day went.

It was a long day, you were out of the house much longer than you should have been, your usual route for your commute was messed up making you late, you had a million things to do and felt like you didn’t have a moment to yourself all day. The work was extremely tiring and gruelling, it seemed you cleaned the entire place three times over or at least your body felt that way. The mess hadn’t been cleared up on your way home which meant another detour that took much longer than it should have and by the time you came back home you were ready to fucking collapse. 

The door squeaked as it swung open when you came in and then swung back and closed behind you and you didn’t make another move once your bag hit the ground, simply standing by the doorway for a moment trying to collect yourself. You took a deep shuddering breath, you were so overwhelmed you had felt like you wanted to cry the entire way home. Your hands come up to your face, heels of your hands to your eyes as you take another breath trying to will the tears away when you hear his voice. 

Initially he was speaking in that tone you know and love, confident, unmistakably verbose, “Heya Erika babe-”

But when he got a good look at you, your body language, it changed, concern tinting every syllable. “-how was your day?” 

Your hands pulled back and your eyes darted to him right away. You couldn’t stop yourself. Seeing him and hearing him, the worry in his tone over seeing you like this, the hard day you had, the emotion all hits at once and the dam breaks. The tears start to spill down your cheeks, fists clenching and you cry. Shoulders shaking as the emotion finally overtook and you were unable to stop it. 

He rushed forward, hands met your shoulders as you sobbed and he immediately tried to figure out what was wrong, “Woah, baby, baby! What’s wrong? Was today that bad?”

You tried to take some deep breaths but it did not work, instead they were more stuttered and hiccupping, “I-I-”

He nodded, eyes focused on your face, he had to get down a bit to be face to face with you, a slight crouch as he encouraged, “You, you? C’mon Eri, spit it out.”

You finally got the words out, they sounded wet and thick from all the tears, a heavy swallow as you said, “I just love you so much!”

Another sob tore out of your throat and it was stopped in short order by him laughing. You could see through the tears that his head was hanging forward, his own shoulders shaking, almost mirroring the way yours although in a much different context. You wipe your eyes, it doesn’t stop the tears, another hiccup as you ask, “Wh-why are you laughing?”

His head pops back up, standing up right, a fond expression as he looks down at you, “Just because you are just you!” 

You sniffed and asked, “Just because I’m me?”

“Yeah! You are amazin’, I am so fucking grateful for you.” The way he said it, you knew he meant it. “You work so hard, I dunno how you do it or where you get the energy and I’m like-” He hummed as he thought for a moment before saying, “-awed. I’m totally awed by you.” 

So sweet and surprisingly eloquent from him and you can’t help it, the urge is too much, you hold your arms out and he of course takes you up on it. 

You are still crying, not as hard but tears are still falling as he invites you into his arms. One hand on your lower back and the other stroking between your shoulder blades comforting. “Awe, s’okay. I’m here, my cute little crybaby, I gotcha.”

You laughed at that, unable to help it. “Crybaby, huh? New nickname?” 

“I mean it in the sweetest and nicest way, swear! Sides, doesn’t it fit?” He teased you. One hand on your back the other wiping some of your tears away, “You’re my baby and you’re crying, aren’t you?”

You couldn’t argue with that. 

“Alright, alright, you make a compelling argument.” You relent, your tears were slowing much more, a smile refusing to leave your face. 

“So, hard day?” He asked and you nodded once, “Mmm, seems like. What do you need?”

“Cuddles on the couch?” You asked and he was pulling you over to where the couch was. “Anything you need.” 

He was about to lie down first before you stopped him, “Wait!”

He did so, stopping before settling down, an expectant look to you and you say, “Can I be the big spoon?”

He laughed, a small shake of his head before gesturing for you to lay down first, “You are too cute, of course honey.” 

In a short moment you were laying down and he was in front of you, one of your arms thrown around him, curling into his back. You could already feel the tension melting out of your body. You needed this so much. You inhaled deeply, the smell of him was more comforting than you had adequate words for, apparently words were failing you every which way this day. Your nose brushed the back of his neck, your hand over his chest rubbing in comforting circles. 

“You wanna vent about today?” He asked and you shook your head. “Mmm, maybe later.” 

A comfortable silence overtook you both. Your wandering hands needing to touch him, soaking up the feeling of him pressed so close and him loving the personalised attention you gave. “This is supposed to be for you but shit it is really nice.”

You prop up on one elbow, looking down at him, “Yeah? Feeling relaxed?”

“Much and I wasn’t even stressed like you were.” He grinned up at you and you gave a small shrug, “Everyone needs some love and care and tenderness, even if sometimes we don’t realise it.” 

He had to give it up, “Right again Eri.”

Tonight has a night to just do whatever you wanted and you knew that he wouldn’t oppose what you were craving. You leaned down, starting to pepper his face with kisses, forehead and cheeks and chin and he melted further into your embrace and the couch cushions and you had to admit, you felt infinitely better already. 

By night's end it was like today never happened. A long extended cuddle session was had. You had showered, he’d ordered in your favourite take-out and let you bitch about your day. To then you sitting between his legs on the couch as he brushed and braided your hair for bed. You loved this, looking up at him, the extreme concentration painted on his face, worry creasing his brow as he did his best to not hurt you as he did your hair. 

“Hey Ashely?” You asked in that adorable curious tone you always got in moments like these and he mused with a smile, “You’re the only one who can get away with calling me that I swear-”

“Ashhhh-” You whined cutting him off and he asked, “Yes sweetheart?”

“Kiss? Please?” 

He set the brush down, hands cradled your face and he leaned down because how could he ever say no to you?

[superskaian]

Now that you’re finished reading, care to give a brief (or not so brief) overview of your thoughts on each character?

i did try to answer this on my main but i got overwhelmed with describing all of the characters! i have a tendency to ramble and prattle so the only way i'm getting through with this is with very. brief thoughts.

[roxy lalonde voice] lightning round go!

john- that's my friend he makes me smile c:

rose- manufactured in a skaian lab to destroy me specficially

dave- i feel very proud when i see him near the end of the comic. he managed to escape all that and i love him for it

jade- one of the characters i've shed the most tears over i want her to be happy so bad

~

aradia- wrath! of! the! lamb! aradia's arc is so good i love seeing her smile

tavros- he's very pathetic (affectionate). cheered for his ghost getting that big moment at the end

sollux- i do not remember very much about sollux. the bifurcation theme fucking slaps though

karkat- THAT'S MY FRIEND KARKAT I AM NEVER GOING TO FORGET KARKAT. THERE'S ONLY ONE STEP AND IT IS CRAB

nepeta- she's adorable and i'm kissing her on the mouth for drawing vriska ♠ terezi on her wall-

kanaya- I Love Kanaya So Fucking Much

terezi- blorbo. i post about terezi at least five times per day my feelings about her are the worst kept secret of my life. she makes me feel every emotion on the hemospectrum

vriska- years and years before i read this comic i thought i'd be a fan of hers. i was right. i loooooooove vriska. i have absolutely nothing normal to say about her

equius- he's funny c:

gamzee- i'm pretty sure his role in the overall scheme of things went entirely over my head. will pay more attention on my new game+. i fucking owe him for his relationship with terezi though thank you gamzee

eridan- also did not make much of an impression on me

feferi- i have an irrational emotional attachment to her

~

jane- she's bigender for real i make the rules.

jake- fucking lvoe the brain ghost man keep up the good work. normal boy behavior (affectionate)

roxy- manufactured in the same lab as rose to destroy me but in a different color

dirk-fucking lvoe the splinters man keep up the good work. normal boy behavior (very affectionate)

calliope- ough callie's my special friend

caliborn- i'm putting him in time out (affectionate)

~

i'm not listing all of the ancestors and dancestors just the notable ones

meenah- rotten girl. i really really like her.

aranea- one of the biggest surprises in the whole thing (absurdly affectionate). i'm making a whole list of things about aranea to obsessively study on new game plus

damara- oh my god damara is fucking cool

mindfang- i have nothing sfw to say about marquise mindfang.

redglare- my neck is right here 😩

the condesce- hhhhhhh trolls who do war crimes have the best pussy

~

jasprose- we bingewatch nekomonogatari white together and cry over never having a troll wife together

davepeta- ough theyre so cute

arquisprite- vriska i'm sorry i dont think he's very funny but i made you a list of all the different ways you can punish me and also i made a copy of that list in case something happens to the first one-

[actualbird]

Day two of me reading your fics the moment I wake up! Still a little asleep as I write this again fxjg but it's fine because man I loved this fic so much this is the post chapter 6 fic I needed in my life!!

Man the moment I saw "crying didn't fix you up" the sense of dread I felt became ridiculously strong aha. Funny how something said out of love can do so much damage.

Yeah empathy+the mindset Artem now has is absolutely going to be hell in a job as a lawyer. Especially in the universe of Tears of Themis because that's a ridiculously high number of tragedies that's happened in six chapters. I could see Joey's case or Skadi haunting someone long after everything has ended.

So the paragraph about Artem's thoughts about being asked how he's feeling Hurt Me So Much. Just the bleak way he describes sending feelings into a room and ignoring it and the "he would know" in another paragraph hit really, really hard. Excellent way to tie a character's past experiences with their way of doing things but also Pain.

The way the nightmare turns from short, clipped sentences in the first paragraph and morph into a run-on, frantic one in the last hurts me. That really is how thoughts go sometimes and I am in awe of how you portrayed it so well in text.

Riaaa I love you. Thank you for saying the words Artem needs to hear most. And hopefully this is a steop forward for Artem. Not a fix, God knows one cry session can't fix a mindset he's had sonce childhood but. A step.

So I remember a while ago talking about how I really adore repetition and boy did this fic deliver!! There's so much repetition of so many lines and yet it feels just right and never excessive. I would have loved this fic anyway, but with so much personal appeal? I really, really adore this fic, if I were to rank my enjoyment of your fics this would be in the top. Just, excellent fic, thank you so much for writing this!!!

🌌

HJVhjkHVKJ GMORNING, MILKYWAY!! thank u for reading "break it into pieces small enough to understand" like a morning newspaper, tho this morning newspaper swaps out the calvin and hobbes with artem and neuroses HKFJHASF

hhhhHHH this ask is so lovely, ive got lots to say in reply omg

that first scene w childhood artem is wholly me condensing like 8764982375 experiences of my own from my parents who said similar things to me also out of love. it's a sad truth that even stuff said out of love can be either the wrong thing to say at the moment or taken out of its context and embedded in a kid's mind for years or both. someone can come in wanting to alleviate pain and end up unintentionally giving an adage for its invalidation instead. it sucks. but it happens.

while i was projecting for a lot of this fic, the empathy was something completely foreign to me. artem has shown that hes very in tune with other people's emotions and i Do Not Have That Skill but exploring his in conjunction with all this leads to yepppppp. empathy is great, but it would also get frustrating and upsetting if one is working on the assumption that emotions need to come from a logical cause. frankly, i think everybody in the nxx team needs some therapy just for this bit at first, theyre taking in a LOT of heavy cases. hopeful ending as they may have, that still weighs on people. for artem, it weighing on him when it no longer can help is hellish.

eeEeeEEeeee im glad u liked those bits and also the repetition!! i really enjoy writing internal monolog and tryna lean into how they tend to sound when going thru ur head, if that makes sense. or at least my head, since i cant read minds. metaphorizing memory and bringing in an unraveling cadence and repetition cuz the brain likes to latch onto phrases and bring it back cuz it seems familiar and mind always wants to find patterns, and all that jazz. it's like dialog which i love So Much, but talking to yourself, and i just love writing any kind of talking in general

it's a step forward!!! it's not gonna fix anything just but thats okay, it doesnt have to. going at life with the mindset of fixing every problem immediately and ignoring bits that dont seem to directly work towards a solution, well, that actually brings artem wayyyy farther from a solution in the first place. sometimes ya gotta cry. and it wont make things better. but it's important to feel it anyway.

thank you so so much for this ask!! it made me smile lots :') and right before i gotta clock in at work too, a wonderful boost before job tasks jahvkhfaf

im glad you enjoyed the fic <3!!

[suitov]

“Hajime.”

He straightened and rubbed at his sore back. “If you haven’t finished your tasks for the day, I don’t want to hea--”

“I have already fulfilled everyone’s tasks by myself,” said the person, somehow sounding both expressionless and smug.

“Oh, Zu. It’s you.”

“Take this.” Izuru handed him a shiny conglomeration of stones that somehow made Hajime feel permanently more able to spot useful resources.

“Uh, thanks.”

“I require your help. Come with me.”

Hajime shook his foot, the one whose shoe was waterlogged from a beachcombing accident. “Uh, well... if the work’s really already done...” he said.

Izuru grabbed him by the hand. Hajime sighed and let himself be tugged away. It was never worth reminding him that Hajime had been almost unanimously voted project leader. Mr. Abstention would either ignore him or claim “fraternal privilege”, whatever that meant.

Clomp, squelch, clomp, squelch went Hajime over the bridge in his brother’s wake. And... oh for pity’s sake, waiting for them, it just had to be...

“Komaeda,” he grumbled by way of greeting.

“Ah...” He was holding his hands out and smiling guiltily (yes, Hajime had learned to tell the difference between Nagito’s smiles; years of practice with Izuru’s various blank faces had paid off). “I did tell Izuru he didn’t need to bother you for someone as insignificant as I...”

“Hajime, your input is required to settle a disagreement,” said Izuru.

Nagito sighed and folded his arms.

“Uh... well, go on, then. What’re you arguing about?”

“I would never be so bold as to argue with the great Ulti--”

“Nagito Komaeda,” Izuru butted in with his usual regard for conversational norms, “is ugly, useless and in all ways not worth spending time with.”

Hajime’s mouth fell open. He felt his ears start to heat up. “Zu, that’s a horrible thing to say. Nagito may be... a little weird at times...”

“I didn’t realise you consider me weird, Hajime.”

“But! B-but!” he continued. “He’s not bad-looking or that other stuff you said! He looks just fine, cute even! And you can’t deny he’s been helping keep the cabins clean from all the sand and stuff we track in. And he’s not boring!”

“Boring was not a word I used.”

“He’s always got something cool to talk about. It’s probably because he reads all those books! I’d have thought you’d appreciate that, Zu. Talking about him this way... are you sure you’re not the person who shouldn’t be around others?”

As he wound down, Hajime noticed the other two’s reactions. For some reason, even though he’d just been told off for being a rude ass, Izuru was looking extremely smug. Nagito, meanwhile, had his face hidden in his hands and was rocking slightly. If Hajime wasn’t imagining it, there might be a little steam rising.

Izuru looked to the side and said “I told you so.”

There was some wheezing before Nagito managed to form words. “T-to hear Hajime echo your sentiments... and offer such a passionate defence of a lowlife such as myself...” And he dissolved into wheezes again.

“Uh...” Hajime scratched his head. “What’s going on? My dumbass brother just insulted you. I didn’t agree with him.”

Izuru put an awkwardly heavy hand on his shoulder. “What I said to you were in fact Nagito’s own words. It appears he did not expect such a forceful refutation.”

“...hhhhboyssss...”

Hajime snowboarded internally until he thought he had the situation figured out. “Huh. Well, at least you’re not going around calling him bad things.”

“...boysbeingnicehhhhhhh...”

“I trust he has learned his lesson now that we have both confirmed it,” said Izuru.

“...boyswithhandsnhhhhchest...”

Hajime elbowed his brother. “Are you sure we didn’t damage his brain somehow?”

“I could put him in the MRI--”

“No, on second thought, he kinda gets like that sometimes. Like when I got out of the ocean and I guess I used his towel by mistake because he got flustered.”

Izuru tilted his head. “I see. I will bring him extra linen.”

“hhhhhhthat won’t be necessary thank you Izuru,” Nagito finally blurted. “I think I... just want to go back to the hotel now. Assuming, ahaha, that I can remember how to walk...”

The brothers glanced at each other and took up positions on either side. Nagito permitted them to link arms with only minor self-deprecation. Maybe Izuru’s stunt had made a difference...

...reflected Hajime a short while later, feeding him sorbet while Izuru went to get out the manicure set. That’d be a good thing. The guy needed a little self-confidence.

[tigerdrop]

king u gonna elaborate on virgin benrey

 listen i have kiryu “is 100% a virgin at the ripe old age of 37, and this is appealing to me instead of fucking hilarious″ kazuma disease and it has followed me here. also this kind of branches into a completely different kink at the end b/c i am diseased

so you know how i write "obviously fucks good and hard all the time" benrey. well........you know.......like..........what if......................he didnt. what if he was. what if he had never fucked before in his life and his incessant flirting finally works and hes like "i did not expect to get this far."

envision, if u will, the delightful awkwardness of virgin benrey + "has never had sex with a dude before" gordon

ive definitely brought up the possibilities of gordon going all science-brain on null benrey before but i think it works just as well on virgin benrey too. its a learning experience for both of them and if theres one thing gordons good at, its research. and gordon probably gets way too up in his own head about making sure he does this shit right and spends a lot of sleepless nights googling "how to have sex with dudes" and, you know, researching, 

if benreys not the one fucking babying him thru his first gay experiences he is probably going to bungle it so fucking badly and i think it would be really funny 

alternatively please consider gordon being so fucking neurotic about benrey never having done this shit before that he avoids the subject as hard as possible, thinking that hes gonna dick it up hardcore, but the whole time benreys just thinking "bro i havent had my dick touched in [however long hes been alive]. come on". the tension

furiously making out with him behind a fucking crate in black mesa and then realizing this is Going Places and gordons voice breaks as he says, way too loud, "I GOTTA UHHH GO RELOAD MY SMG. RIGHT NOW"

you think gordon is touch starved ? no. Hell with this 

Im just tsying theres no evidence hes been touched at all by another human being in his life before this. if hes video game in real he benrey noclip out of being touched 

what if he like, chooses not to noclip/not feel....ON that time gordon catches him. just cuz hes curious, a gay impulse. or maybe hes so surprised (and gay) he forgets to avoid it

and oh, to be in gordon freeman's gentle grasp. makes him into an unholy annoyance of awkward gayness for the rest of the series

YEAS.......also he has definitely thought hard about sucking gordons dick but doesnt actually have any idea how he would go about it. hes just heard its cool

giddy thinking about the scenario where its actually benrey whos terrible at sucking dick b/c hes never done it before and gordon who actually does suck dick like a champ

i know that this is literally the plot of the very first serious nsfw fic in this fandom but still. virgin beney. benrey getting sucked off for the first time in his entire life and shaking like a fucking leaf......

Power trip of Gordon realizing this guy whose been hitting on him the whole time has no idea what to actually do 

Gordon Freeman Gives Benrey A Prostate Exam

its a joke but its not a joke. virgin benrey being vaguely aware that being fucked by gordon freeman would be cool, in theory, but not fully conceptualizing of how you actually get a dick in your ass until gordons like "what?? no, dude, you cant just stick it in there" and gives him a demonstration and thats how benrey discovers he has a prostate 

benrey like "idgi man this just feels weird. when do we get to theohhh my god what. what that" and gordons like "what, u mean this?" (curls his fingers again) mean smirk hours

i want him to make a squeaky little noise when gordon says that and curls his fingers again, and gordon's like "ha- knew he'd like it" and keeps kneading him a while; but oops, suddenly benrey's coming with an even squeakier noise 

gordon's so surprised he just keeps going, hes like, not comprehending until benys whining at him to stop

a thought: benreys not good at "being human" and probably doesnt actually know whats supposed to happen when u nut so every time hes been jackin it he just does it until it starts to be Just A Little Too Much and then hes like "mission accomplished" and stops. imagine his fucking surprise when  gordons jerking him off and he doesnt stop and hes like "wh ha hu what the fuck i already got off bro" and gordon just stares at him and the distinctive lack of cum on his hand and s like ".......did you?  you sure about that one." 

tl;dr benrey squirming and babbling and digging his fingers into gordons back as he begs him to keep going, he doesnt know whats gonna happen and hes feeling totally overwhelmed b/c gordons pushing him further than hes ever been pushed and he keeps inadvertently trying to wriggle away b/c its So Much but gordon, maybe, pins down his hips so he can get benrey off For Real....... 

even better if its when gordons sucking him off for the first time so he can wrap his arms and hands around benreys thighs to keep them spread wide open and firmly in place 

knees shaking and thighs jumping constantly 

and benrey has no idea when its supposed to be over so he cant even warn gordon properly. he just keeps getting louder and louder....... 

maybe even.......completely hunched over gordon......pushing him down on his dick with his hands in his hair....... 

alternating between babbling "stop" and "dont stop" b/c hes stupid 

eventually gordon gets so sick of benrey not being able to decide whether he wants to shove gordon onto his dick or yank him off that he just pulls off and says "look, man, do you trust me?" b/c he would really like to just get benrey to stop edging himself here 

UNINTENTIONAL OVERSTIMULATION.......THE TEARS........HHHHHHH

and he eventually gets benrey to nod furiously at him that he trusts him and gordons just like, okay, im not gonna stop then. im gonna keep going. and.......he does 

eyes glazed, hair sticking to him with sweat, hips all twitchy, dick all red, face also all red 

sucking benrey dry until hes over sensitive....... 

He started off spasming then he’s rocking into Gordon’s face by the time he’s wailing his name. Panting and gasping like he’s fucking DROWNING 

gordon meanwhile almost nuts in his pants from the fuckin show that benreys puttin on for him and hes not even trying. hes just Like This. gordons got jerkoff material for the next month just thinking about the way benrey wails his name and clutches his hair tight 

benreys like (slurred) 'u gonna jack off or sumn.......was it not hot'. gordon fighting with every cell of his body not to scream "WAS IT NOT HOT?"

trying to decide what would be hotter: gordon jacking off while hes on his knees with his head resting on benreys thigh or jerking off on benreys stomach and.....r.......rubbing it in

benrey watching gordon cum and feeling a whole new context for it cause now he knows how good it feels and gets turned on again faster-

thinking.......about.......th. next time. now that benreys figured it out. he gives it a try on his own time and hes so surprised that it works that he goes up to gordon like "yo. check this out. i figured out how to jack it" and gordon has the most unimpressed look on his face imaginable 

"proud of you, buddy. am i good to go back to watching storage wars, or" "you wanna uhhh.....wanna see it maybe?" and that changes his entire tune

imagining benrey being so fucking bad at it still that he keeps doing the start-stop shit b/c its so intense and hes not used to it and the thing that actually gets him to finish is gordon, pants down to his knees and fisting his own dick like he might die tomorrow, leaning forward and telling him that hes got this, benreys gonna come for him, right? come for gordon? 

gordon fucking telling him "dont stop" WRT jerking himself off and benrey just listening to him and pushing himself is ruining my fuckin mind 

its a really good thought......i love how it plays into non-human benrey having to figure out human stuff........makes me crayz

probably keeps being sensitive for a long while too........ (mumbling very very quietly) and if hes so sensitive from never being touched before......maybe hes kind of........uhhh..................ticklish

new layers to the whole "oh my god its too much stop it" + "i actually dont want you to stop touching" thing .. . . .. . . . + gordon powertripping when he realizes whats going on with him and why he keeps jerking away and trying not to laugh when gordon touches him like on his stomach or his sides

benrey accidentally jerks too hard and knees gordon in the dick from how ticklish he feels just from like, hands on his sides or something

i was actually thinking about......like.......gordon laying on the ground and suffering (because why wouldnt i be thinking about gordon suffering) and deciding that enough is enough and offering to.......desensitize benrey. you know. for his own health

you know. uhhh. tying up his arms and legs, perhaps, and. you know. "do not noclip through these. i swear to god, benrey, if you kick me in the dick again" 

i'm think about benrey begging gordon to stop, so he does, to check if this is a Forreal stop or a "hahah nooo~" stop, and benrey asks him through gasps to keep fucking tickling him (except he just says smth to the effect of ."gh.. ....keep doing it dude wuhdah hell...") and gordon gets an evil fucking grin and just feels on top of the world "yeah?? think you can handle it, huh???" and just destroys him. benrey thinks about gordon's horny manic face for weeks 

neither of them had a thing for this before this point but the combination of feeling like hes being tickled and gordons hands on him for the first time making him mad horny gives benrey a brand new fucking fetish. gordons manic fucking face im so glad we are on the same wavelength about that

i truly hate my own posts. incurable. diseased

[arinlangdon]

this conversation with @megatraven is from December 7, 2020 holy heck

watch out, it’s long

me: they might be wearing it some place where we can't see?? if MMC wears a necklace that we can never see unless he's shirtless, then maybe Arin has something hidden too. and that would be all too fitting for them

Meg: i woudl like. if arin's is a tattoo :) maybe its a guardian thing... bu t arin having the leaf symbol not on a piece of jewelry or pin, but inked into their skin.... a way to mark them as guardian, and maybe a way to protect them too, if the ink is spelled or the tattoo itself came about from magical means........ maybe it's on their back, where only those they would trust (and love?) would ever see it, or over their heart...... perhaps it serves to remind them of their priorities, an everlasting reminder of their duty as guardian, but each time they see it, they think of their friends, and FMC....

me: an indelible mark on their very body, representing the role that perhaps they did not choose but that chose them, that is always front and center in their thoughts. the symbolism of having it either on their back or over their heart is perfect, i don't know which one i prefer more. if on their back, it's a place where only a trusted person could see and potentially use to hurt them. if on their chest, the spot closest to their heart.... that indicates that this role is the thing that's of paramount importance. despite the burden it sometimes is to them, they wouldn't trade it for anything, because their life is one spent protecting these books that they revere so much, these objects that are so much more than mere objects

Meg: YESSSS yes exactly omg!!!! im not sure which place i prefer more either because both are so IMPORTANT and so potentially intimate? i suppose the plus side of picking one would be, the other spot is a blank canvas for a potential future tattoo that would be a symbol that stands for them and their love-----

me: oh my god, how are you getting even bigger brained?? hhhhhhh magically appearing tattoo that manifests itself at some point after they commit to FMC, or... enhances by degrees or fills in by stages as their relationship becomes stronger .....i don't know what the point of having a magical love tattoo would be but it's fun to think about i think for me the chest location wins out. imagine FMC kissing their face, then moving down to tenderly kiss their mark, as if to say that at last she understands and appreciates what they've been doing without anyone around to know or acknowledge all that work, and that although they've been carrying the weight of their duty alone for so long, they don't have to anymore now that she's beside them also what if it's not a leaf at all, but another symbol, one specific to the guardian

Meg: how are YOU getting even bigger brained holy shit....... a growing tattoo that grows with their love........... consider...... whatever symbol it is they might have on their chest, it's really only a piece to something bigger, that they only realize when the Love Tattoo™️ grows over their shoulders and reuinites with the symbol over their heart....... it fits in perfectly and that's when they know it was never going to be complete if they hadn't let love guide them......... also FMC kissing down to their mark im 😭😭😭 my heart is so soft im crying thats so sweet 🥺🥺💛 guardian specific symbollllllll does a little jig i LOVE IT!!!!!

me:  definitely want their first kiss to be soft and sweet and highly emotional alsdjfj sobs

[yuriio]

I finished ep one and started ep two of Skate Leading Stars and I’m already loving this oh my god

I was excited for a new skating anime but also a little... idk. nervous. Because Yuri!!! On Ice did SO much for me when it came out and still inspires me. I didn’t want to have standards so I kept an open mind on SLS and BOY am I glad. 

I’m ALL here for feral bois committing crimes to skate. Hayato is fucking god tier trash boy and I love him. Maeshima is just. A Lot™ and I see myself in him a bit when it comes to skating (scary hhhhhhh)

I don’t quite have opinions on any of the others yet, but I’m sure I’ll love them. Shinozaki is really pretty, I love his design. His personality as of now just WORKS for him. 

I know a lot of people are going to be busy comparing this to YOI but honestly? As a die-hard YOI fan (trust me, nothing can replace it) I really like it! Try not to compare them too much, they have a few things in common but really the plots are pretty different. I like it, and I’m really looking forward to following it and seeing what becomes of it!  TL;DR - New Ice Skating Anime Good And Has Pretty Feral Boys Committing Crimes. Make Brain Go Brrrrrrrrrrrr

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

what the fuck are emotions. What are they. I don’t get it???? Wh. What??? I can’t even tell what I want in life!!!!! What are emotions??!! What ARE WMTOIONSvvv????!!!!!???? I am having a crisis. Fuckibg. What. What is going on. What three fuck. WHAT THE FUCK. I hate it here. save me. I can’t tell what’s platonic and romantic and I’m suffering. I don’t think I’ve ever fully been in a romantic relationship where I actually wanted to be in one, more so just felt like I was supposed to want it and be happy with it. I love the idea of romance maybe?? Why does it hate me??? What’s going on. Hhhhhhh??????? I don’t get paid enough for this! Ajdjdjdjdjjj?????? I’m so confused????? I always think my feelings are romantic and daydream and all but like ARE THEY?????? It doesn’t feel like it???? Maybe?????? Cause I feel all butterflyey and airy and swoony and I hate it! I cannot handle having emotions, let alone when I can’t even tell what they are!!! Whyyyyyy????????? This is so chaotic but MY MAN I AM NOT HAVING A GOOD TJME IN THSI CHILIS RIGHT NOW. What’s a romantic thing?? Holding hands??? I don’t wanna hold hands lovey dovey if I’m not close friends with them. But exactly that! Friends!! Anything that’s romantic I could feel for a close friend!!! Fuck!!!! Is this queerplatonic??? Is this just platonic??? Is this romantic???? Is this the real life or is this just fantasy???? I DONT KNOW! I’m caught in a landslide no escape from reality! I DONT EVEN MIEK QUEEN THAT MUCH????? AHHHH?????? And of all people why must my heart have horrible taste! Like WHAT??? THATS the person you choose??? HHHHHHHH?????? I don’t know if I want a life partner!! The idea sounds cute in my little fantasy head filled with soft clouds and living in a cottage by the seaside drinking hot homemade coco but I don’t know about ACTUALLY doing that?? It’s cute but. The idea of my own little house or apartment. I can decorate it how I want, make it all my own, do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted how I wanted, have a garunteed space for myself... that sounds amazing! Any other seems like something I’ve thought I wanted for so long but now I’m questioning that and that’s a bit. Yikes. And I don’t wanna be alone! Society frames single people as alone and I just internalized that! Fuck amatonormativity all my homies hate amatonormativity!!! Girl help I have internalized possible arophobia!!!!!! Why do I keep quoting memes while having an orientation crisis??!?!?!?? WHAT IS HAPPENING???? What is existence??? WHY DO PEOPLE WEAR BASKETBALL SHORTS?????? Hhdjdhdjshjshshhdhhshdhh. Maybe I’ve felt romantic emotion? But did I? Truly? Maybe I’ve felt that attraction, but I never want to be tied down, however bad that sounds. Am I aro or just scared of commitment aJHDJDJDHSJDHJS,,, but like. I had a crush on a guy for a YEAR. I was head over heels. Like I was daydreaming bout love confessions babe it was bad. But I got over him. It was whatever. Then he like a year or two later said he had a crush on me, and asked me out, and I was happy??? I remember being estatic. And I agreed. But I have no idea why I was happy. Was I happy for the me from years ago? Did I like the attention and validation? Have I always had a problem of shooting for the high and then leaving the moment I reach the low??? I hated that relationship. I felt awful. Each time he did something romantic I felt sick, and I avoided seeing him even when I had the chance to visit. It was really bad and I felt really guilty. I’d gotten this nice little happy ending, and I ruined it. I got this cute fairy tale, and no matter how hard I tried, my feelings never came. I thought they’d come back. If anything they just fully yeeted themselves out the stratosphere ffs. It was terrible. I felt really bad but had to break up with him. And through the guilt I felt so relieved, like I was finally freed. Never really got why people were so emotionally destroyed after breakups when they’re still friends tbh. And we’re still friends. (1/2)

Oh yeah we get to do this again babyyyyyy!!!! Anyways, the other relationship I’d been in, I had actually wanted to be in a qpr, but he asked me out romantically and I didn’t know what to do. He didn’t even know what a qpr was. I was torn between happy at spending more time with him and saying how much I loved him and the crippling fear and disappointment and lingering uncomfortableness. It only ever increased. I was a million times closer to him, but I told him I thought I might be aro-spec, because much as I hate to admit it, I felt awful every time we did “romantic” stuff. It’s kinda flattering and also kinda freaky to think he likes me like that. I don’t fully get romantic feelings anyway, though. But I thought it would all be fine and then it just. Wasn’t. We switched to a platonic relationship and I’m much more comfortable with that, but he talks about our future and I feel this fear that I’m gonna break his heart, because genuinely, I could see myself living with him, but not out of romance or anything. Just kinda like. It’s free real estate if I need a bug killed, and also houses cost so much money, and also movie nights, but I could just invite people to my own place if I wanted a movie night. But I just don’t know. I thought for sure I had romantic feelings for at the very least one of them, but it just didn’t work, at all. And there’s this other guy, I swear I don’t only crush on guys lmaodnfjdjdjdjjd, but he’s,,,,,,,, a youtuber. Because I have terrible taste. He’s only a year or two older than me and is funny and cute (asexually, bcus I am ace) and so my stupid monkey brain was like ah yes, this one is who you’re gonna like! And now I’m just like 🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️ every time I think of him. Very annoying. My heart is like an annoying bug that keeps bonking it’s head against the window next to me while I tiredly try to drive. But like,,,, I think have a crush?? But I don’t even wanna date him??????? So????? What????? WhAt????? What are emotions I don’t understand them??? This is a lot and I’m sorry my fam squad but oh boy am I having a real funky fresh time over here (2/2)

So one thing that may help you here, we tend to think of what attraction am I experiencing as a big objective truth. But it can actually be very subjective. So changing your thought process from being a detective and figuring out exactly what you’re feeling, to going ‘what makes the most sense to me in how I conceptualize this’. So basically try and think more in terms of ‘this is a helpful way for me to think of this’ and don’t worry too much if it’s right or wrong because there may not be an objective right or wrong answer.

So maybe it is romantic, but you’ve also got strong romance repulsion for being personally in romantic situations (I definitely think from this do you do have romance repulsion happening), and that’s interfering with having a romantic relationship. Or you’re somewhere under the akoiromantic/lithromantic umbrella, where you do have romantic feelings but don’t want them reciprocated. 

Maybe your feelings are more in the platonic or alterous scale. So still very strong, but not romantic, or not entirely romantic. (If you’re looking for a guide on telling romantic, platonic and alterous attraction part, the faq for this blog discusses it.)

Some people experience parts of romantic attraction but not all romantic attraction, some people find attraction blurs together and it doesn’t make sense for them to see it as a single distinct type of attraction.

And some people just in general can’t distinguish between romantic and platonic. And there’s some labels around that, two of the most popular are idemromantic (when someone categorizes relationships as platonic or romantic but feels no notable differences) and platoniromantic (when someone can’t tell the difference between platonic and romantic attraction).

You can also look into quoiromantic, which is basically disidentifying with the concept of romantic attraction entirely, or finding it nonsensical, inapplicable or inaccessible. So that’s another thing you can look into if it interests you.

So that’s a few avenues you can look into, if nothing here feels right, you can dig in more, but this is a good starting spot. 

But yeah, I’d definitely recommend trying and thinking of it in terms of what feels right, or what would be a useful way of looking at this. And not worrying about if it’s right or wrong, only if it feels right or makes sense for you. 

All the best, and good luck, Anon!