#Sardonic Sexymen - DT and Alastor

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

DT, Alastor, hear me out...

Your babies in one of these bad boys

"O-oh."

Alastor is completely gone. He's laughing his ass off over something so small---yet admittedly clever and funny. To be fair, he hasn't slept in...two days. However, DT seems to genuinely enjoy this.

"It's...a lovely thought, thank you for sharing."

They were struggling not to laugh, but they were damn close to failing.

"..."

"..."

"What-"

"-the-"

"-fuck-"

"-language."

"Sorry."

"...though your swearing is somewhat understandable. Are they both unwell?"

"Hell if I know. But I do know that dad hasn't slept in two days."

"Isn't he normally able to go on for weeks without sleeping?"

"He can, but there is something off about him. Like he's internally freaking out."

"Perhaps it's the weight of being a father settling in?"

"Maybe."

"...guess we got an audience now."

"What are you-oh."

Immediately, Mordecai's pupils dilated much more upon noticing that Bella was watching him. It was a sweet sentiment, and Sam just smiled down when Castiel looked up at her.

"Mhm. These lil guys...buncha cuties."

"Hm...Alastor and Double Trouble should get some rest, though. Specifically Alastor. I haven't seen Double Trouble fatigued as of late, which is good I suppose. Alastor..."

"He really should get rest: but first I wanna know what's going on with him."

"Be my guest: you are his eldest daughter after all."

"...yeah..."

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

OMG THE BABIES THEY'RE SO CUTE CONGRATS YOU TWO T0T

Oh Mordy, it's time to say hello~ ;)

She's so...tiny.

Belladonna and Castiel were their names now. While holding Castiel he didn't feel as close. However, with Belladonna...there was a newfound warmth in him. He couldn't quite place it, but it was so sweet feeling...almost like when he held his little sister Rose at the time. Or better yet, Hannah...but those were past memories.

"How're you feeling my feline fellow?"

"...Morde?"

"Oh fuck he's crying---"

"Can I have my daughter, Morde?"

"Mordecai, my dear, come on---"

"Aww...softie~"

They might have to pry her out of his arms after this... <3

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

How often does Alastor remind Double Trouble that they're the most beautiful creature in all of creation?

No this isn't me wanting you to draw DT again what are you talking about why would I do that it's not like I'm OBSESSED or anything--

--@call-me-double-trouble

"Oh, quite often...~ How can one not notice their stunning self?"

His eyes trailed down to watch the questioner. His grin broadened, and he took Double Trouble's hand into his own, his eyes lighting up with almost a sweet, tender look under the usual chaotic and manipulative gaze.

"Their beauty is not my main focus: it's their wit, their type of entertainment and that oh-so appealing flair...because of that, I have fallen hard. Even now, after years of being together, there are still many things I would do for them,"

"As I would for him~ how could I not? He's been the utmost faithful, and I couldn't ask for more. That charming smile makes me weak at the knees~"

He brought them into a dip, bowing lowly. They brought their leg up a bit, bending the other in a comfortable position. Their hands went up to his head and the side of his face, while his hand remained on their back.

"Oh, the amount of lines I would cross for only him...the crimes I would commit~"

"I would die for them...I would kill for them."

"I have killed for them, a̸̪̎̈́́̅̒̀̃͜n̴̝͌́́̚ḑ̸̩̼͎̞̹̤́ ̸̡̢̦͔̝̗̳̦͂̀̓̚̕͝͝ŵ̵̼̰̣̰̥̮͊͂̚͝į̸̡̰̺̺̙̏͘͝͝l��̬̏̈́̅̌͘l̴̯͛̍̀̊̚ ̵̻̒́͂̀d̵̢̨͈̤̝̥̮͂̋͐̾̈͝͠o̴̝͓͖̲̮̝͖͚̓̈́̂̓͘ ̷̖̀i̸̛̛̝̙̩̜̮̻̙͂̿͛̔͠͝t̸̝̥̩̥̣͋̒̈́̈̈́̃̾ ̵̖̙̿̄̋̑̏͐à̴̢̲̩̗̝̼̉́̓̊͗̚ͅg̵̣̒͐̃̊̓̍̌͂ā̶̞̓͂͝ị̴̲̥̣͍͉͔͝n̸̢̛̛͍̯̬̙̳̔͒̊̊͝.̶̲̻͇̣̻͖͑͊͘͜."

(NORMAL: and will do it again.)

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

so what's the manor gonna do for easter, maybe go on a little sexyman easter egg hunt, the eggs can have little tophats too X3

"MIGHT DO SOME EGG HUNTING, BUT WHO KNOWS! IT MIGHT JUST BE A NORMAL DAY FOR US...WE COULD HIDE SOME EGGS FOR SAM, THOUGH..."

"Bill suggested I'd be the Easter Bunny...he later regretted his choice. Good riddance: the triangle-coded bastard had the nerve to tell me that...I do not look fat...not sure if he was trying to imply that, and I know that he probably wasn't, but still."

"The tidbit with Bill and Double Trouble was certainly interesting! Oh, how mad my beloved got...it was quite entertaining, but I had to make sure Bill's other eye was safe."

"Dad suggested photos. Photos. Of me in a Easter dress. Honestly, I'd rather jump into Weirdmageddon than that shit."

"Samantha..."

"I'm not taking a picture with a creepy mascot! EVER!"

"I already got an egg here! Top hat and all... :)"

"Honestly, we're not doing anything special. But with this bit, I get to see how flustered Mordecai really gets~"

"...rather."

"Good~"

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

its been hours, is DT okay, and so is Al?

"Ohhh yeah...we're definitely okay. To think after all this time, such a blessed thing could happen. It's adorable, lighthearted whimsy, where I can't take my eyes off of the current events folding in front of us. It's...the best thing." We're definitely okay...DT is alive and, well..."

They're more than well...even after such painful labor, they managed to push---figuratively and literally---through it all.

"Well...I think nari and dad fell in love all over again, with these two buggers that just entered this world."

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

so, has the manor been babyproofed yet for the little monsters that are yet to come?

“We prepared the manor! Babyproofing is complete, and everything is under wraps."

"Still find it bizarre, y'know..."

"I do, as well, my dear!"

"Though, whatever may come our way, we'll have it taken care of."

This...feeling. It was sharper and more cramp inducing...they didn't know how to deal with it. It lasted for much longer than a simple flutter.

“Mhh—…”

“Ah, shit…”

"...love? Are you alright? You look a little...shaken up."

"..."

It got worse before it got better...they leaned up against him for support, and they felt his hand on their shoulder, before he pulled away and let it hover.

“My dear?”

"...yeah...?"

"Are you alright?"

"I am...don't worry. Just a bit of jabbing, y'know?"

"But normally you don't...well...alright. I trust your word."

"I'll let you know when things get worse...alright?"

"...alright, my love."

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

Hmmm...who could she have talked to in order to claim him as her "Papa"? And why are Double Trouble and Alastor so horrified at this revelation...?

[FEEL FREE TO GUESS WHO THIS MYSTERY SEXYMEN IS...]

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

Do any of the others might have some or want some relationship to the twins (uncle, stalker etc) :3

"...no stalkers."

"Not for a minute!"

"As for relationships, I told Bill, Once and Ghirahim that they're the godfather! Mordecai might not be interested...but if he was, then I feel like it would be an Uncle-like relationship! Samantha is already the older sister..."

"At the same time, right?"

"..."

"Alastor."

"It adds to the fun!"

"ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT???"

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!"

"For the entertainment!"

"...oh my God, dad."

Well...that's the extent of that. It was surely an interesting conversation.

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

you feel better now sam?

"..."

She...doesn't feel better, really. She stopped the heavy crying, sure, but she hasn't fully calmed down. It might take her some time...no one can blame her: personal jabs at her regarding her familial issues just...triggered something horrible in her, and she still feels very hurt. Now she's just tired...she needs the rest.

"...she's been crying for two hours, Alastor: we can't even calm her down."

"..."

"Alastor? Hon?"

"...I..."

...the smile on his face dropped the moment Sam closed her eyes, and he wiped her tears.

He had to stay strong for his little girl...his little girl. He never would've thought he would use those three words when speaking about her. Yet he simply did so, and it made him all the more soft. She was sweet, quiet, and had bursts of energy: he admired that. She was a good dancer, a singer, and loved anything about the Roaring Twenties: but she clung to him and trusted him, and that's what drew him to her.

This was his adoptive daughter now...his and DT's. He had to show her love, and not break promises. She didn't have to worry about him and DT drinking...which was good.

He was swarmed in his thoughts, he was tuning them out unintentionally. He was focused on getting Sam to calm down, but the more she cried, the more his heart shattered.

"...I failed her."

The tears said it all: literal. Tears. He cared for her more than he let on, and it was making him sentimental...in the best ways, however.

"You didn't fail her, hon."

"I did. I should've been there when that wretched anon shattered her with their commentary. I should've been there to comfort her sooner...but I wasn't."

"That doesn't mean you failed her. You found out when you could, and what matters is that she's safe in your arms. That she calms down."

"...but what if she doesn't...?"

"...you're going to hate this idea."

"How so...?"

"If she doesn't calm down in the next twenty minutes, we...we take her to Black Hat."

"...Black Hat."

There's fear and nervousness in his voice now. They tried to ease their husband by gently placing their hand on his leg.

"If she doesn't calm down. If she does, then disregard. I mean...everyone has already tried getting her to calm down, or talk...Mordecai hugged her for Christ's sake, and that didn't work! Ghirahim tried calming her by taking her hair down, but also nothing! Another person she confides in is Black Hat. He'll surely be able to calm her."

"...if you say so, my love."

"We'll get her through this...trust me."

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

hey dt, have you and al felt any movement from the twins yet?? since dt's nearing the middle of the pregnancy...also, have they found any comfy clothing?

"I did find some comfortable clothes! I never would've thought I wouldn't be against sweatpants."

"They still look as darling as ever~"

"You're a sweetheart, Alastor...as for movement, we—"

...!!! Was that...no, no, it couldn't have been...but when it happened again, it was all the confirmation they needed...

...

Okay...this was not a fantasy. There was actual movement. Holy shit.

"My love, are you alright?! It's far too early for them to arrive! How are you feeling?! Are you—"

All they did was just stare...and then they grabbed his hand gently.

The way his smile truly dropped into something of shock wasn't common. Yet they couldn't help but grin at his eyes practically lighting up at there being kicking.

"...this is real."

"It always was, darling."

"I-I'm aware, but this—"

He glided his hands up to their face, and the two let their foreheads press against each other in a blissful moment. Tears of not lamenting, but of pure happiness sprang into his eyes for the first time.

"...I'm a father. A father, my love! Can you believe it?! This is truly happening!"

They grinned broadly at his sudden, adorable reaction. They just knew from that moment alone that he was definitely going to be a good father.

"You are, darling, you really are...and soon we'll see them."

"I love you...oh so much~"

"I love you too...I always will~"

//BONUS//:

"...she is definitely happy."

"Oh without a doubt..."

"..."

"..."

"...we don't have the heart to move her, do we?"

"No: no we do not."

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

*fast breathing* TWINS?!!!

IS IT TWINS?!!!

"My dear, why would it be twins? I only cast a spell that forms a singular child, no more or less!"

"Unless something happened that made you change your influence."

"Nah ah, my beloved! I wouldn't have wanted it any other way: one child is quite fine!"

"Oh cut the shit. I'm being serious. A single child wouldn't be developing this quickly with a demonic pregnancy and you know it. You have more knowledge about this topic than I do, so I need you to realize this."

"I took a test to figure out what we're having. You think this is all fun and games, don't you? Well newsflash."

"It's twins. Your. Twins."

Now Alastor doesn't know how to act...this is a joke. Just a farce and nothing more! He knew they were immersed in their roles when the time rolled around, so he laughed it off.

"Oh ho ho, my dear! Good one: my oh my, you always have such a lovely sense of humor."

"...are you kidding me?! You seriously think this is a joke?! I'm being genuine here! We only planned to have one kid, not two at the same time! Why aren't you getting that?!"

Okay, they definitely weren't acting. It was noticeable because how they were tearing up right in front of him. The first time in a while that they genuinely started crying, and it was concerning to Alastor.

"I am not ready for twins, Al! But I can't just abandon them like I was when I was born: I refuse to fail these two! The problem is how the hell are we going to pull this off?! On top of that, I'm going to look huge during this!"

Oh shit. Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit. This was a genuine reaction and fear coming from them, and Alastor felt his heart practically getting shredded into two. Their tears were something that spiked his nerves, and by God he was going to comfort and calm them down. This was not his intention, and he needed to let them know that.

"Double Trouble: my love, I need you to take a breath for me, alright? We are not going to fail them. We will not abandon them. And while you will get bigger, it doesn't diminish how stunning you are. Alright?"

"...alright...I'm sorry, Al..."

"Don't ever be sorry, darling. I love you. And we'll get through this...we're having two children: more to love, you know? And rest assured, I promise you..."

"I won't leave you for a minute. I swear on my afterlife."

//BONUS//:

"YOU CALLED IT?!"

"I WAS JOKING, I DIDN'T EXPECT THEM TO ACTUALLY HAVE TWINS!!!"

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

so guys, how are yall gonna plan the baby shower?

“Honestly, it probably should be private…but I dunno! It’s up to DT and Dad Alastor. Though I have a suggestion! We should get a ring bear for the ceremony! It’ll lighten things up.”

“A WHAT??”

“Little Miss Sunshine, that’s a wrong type of celebration for a ring bearer!”

“She said bear, Alastor…”

“….Oh.”

“OH INDEED!”

“We aren’t getting a bear period.”

“…why is she like this.”

"A sweet little suggestion, but I'm afraid we're going to have to decline it, my dear. As for it being a private get together, I absolutely agree on it!"

"Especially with how easy things could get out to the public...not that I hate the spotlight! I just don't want this being known...aside from just doing the spell and turning out to be successful, we don't have a solid plan yet."

"How about we make a solid plan tonight? That way we'll be prepared and ready for the birth in three months: demonic pregnancies are much shorter than average, thanks to magic. As to you folks, stay tuned for that!"

"THREE MONTHS????"

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

Honestly, how would a certain green lizard (Double Trouble) react if they were told that they are the

only thought

i have now

They are my muse

i dream about them every night

they are the only thing i draw everyday

(I have multiple completely fill sketch books with them oopies)

I daydream about then

I am madly in love with them

I have drawn our wedding evil laughter

Should i be scared of how alstor would react 👁👁

"Oh, cute..."

They did NOT find it cute, only creepy. They appreciated the sentiment! Kinda...they were eased over the fact that this COULD be possible in another verse...nah, they're just kinda creeped out. Not horribly, but this just made them heavily uncomfortable.

"Well, I appreciate the, uh...forwardness of your...ask. It's nice to know some people enjoy my presence..."

They're trying so hard to form a response. That...scrambled their brain a bit. Their eyes flitted up see Alastor next to them, and their nerves---albeit low---were eased. They smiled instead, turning to face the anon.

"Even so...let's keep it a daydream, shall we?"

"That would be m̸͙̐̑̈́̌͊ő̵̧͗̈́̎̆̈́͜͝s̴̡̹̭̯͒̆̃̽͗͑̎̌̔̚͜͠ţ̴̲̭̲͖̈͗̏̈́̏̑̑͘͝ ̸̝͙̟̫͙̾̇̅͌̕ͅp̴̦̞͖͇͈̾̒͆̎ͅl̸̨̧̛͈͔͈̙̮̮̲̀̓͝ě̷̛͇̯͙̦͂̀̋̌̈́̑̊͝á̸̢̢͔̩̘̘̰͈́̂̚s̶̠̿̉å̴̡̲̱͎͙̪̩̤̬̄͘n̵̛͕̩̳̲͎̉͒͋̇̐͝ẗ̴͉̰͈̏̂͆̍̄͒̑̈́͝."

(normal: most pleasant).

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

Did everything go well, is DT alright?

"Shit...shit shit shit...ow..."

Truth be told, they never expected to be in a situation like this. Yet here they were, in the hospital, on a bed, about to have twins. Yes it had been hours later, but nothing extreme has happened yet.

And this only terrified Alastor. He didn't know what would happen, nor did it know if they were going to be okay.

"...dad? Dad they're okay...plus we can be in the room with them, the doctors said it was okay..."

"..."

"Dad?"

"....."

"Alastor. They're okay...they're gonna be okay...I promise you. They're in safe hands...alright?"

"...alright."

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

When are the babies due?

Al did say they'll arrive in three months and it has been a while

"In around two months, based on Alastor's tracking. No exact date yet, so it's a bit nervewracking for me...so far, everything has been surprisingly smooth! If you exclude the horrible migraines and sickness. No odd cravings, thankfully...but I have been wanting his jambalaya quite often. No matter how much it goes to my hips and thighs."

"...mhh...I'm going to need to wear something else from now on. This is getting too tight for me...meaning that I'm getting closer and closer to actually being a parent."

"ᴵ ˡᵒᵛᵉᵈ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵒᵘᵗᶠᶦᵗ ᵗʰᵒᵘᵍʰ. :⁽"

[ask-the-sexyman-squad]

hey guys, will Bill be trusted around the babies?

"It would be rather interesting~ it could always lessen the boredom and dullness~"

"No, absolutely not. We are not trusting Bill with the twins. I trust Ghirahim more than him!"

“Ow..!”

There was that pain again…and it seemed worse. They didn’t want to alarm Alastor, but God, the pain…

“My love?”

“…’m fine, Al, I—…”

“Don’t lie to me: I know your pain tolerance…what’s wrong?”

They looked at him…it was a knowing look. A pained, knowing look, almost terrified of the realization with the tightness and cramping in their abdomen, and the pressure near their crotch. There wasn’t a rush of water, but there was still enough for everything to be set in stone.

“…Double Trouble?”

Now he’s terrified.

“…my water just broke.”

And his smile dropped completely.