#((also very accurate woohoo))

[honeydewmuses-a]

What Kind of Stupid Are You?

Blissfully stupid

They say ignorance is bliss and by god you are living your best life. You skip merrily into a bear's cave to pet it as your friends scream at you to run. The world is beautiful and everyone is your best friend, nothing can possibly go wrong! You are incredibly curious and probably believe in magic. This isn't to say you're an innocent little baby, just that you see the world in a more positive light then most. You face danger with a smile, not because you are particularly brave but because you don't know there's danger to begin with.

Tagged by @musemelodies

Tagging @canon-fcdder @mudskip-muses @rednephew @llimerrence and anyone who wants to!!

[autffiy]

My supernatural DR Stories part 1

Hello lovelies,

As promised I would tell you some of my favorite little stories from my Supernatural DR. Grab a coffee, tea or water because hell, this uis going to be a multi part series i think. I got so much to tell.

Mind you.. this is not series accurate so please don't come for me thank tou very much.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First of all, I'm going to tell you a little bit about my DR self. So you guys can get to know my DR self a little better! {this will be written in my DR POV, little snippets from my DR journal. how fun.} I started writing this journal in September when I hadn't even met the Winchester brothers yet. So you will follow me on my journey when I meet the Winchesters. I started writing in this journal to keep up with my cases... and all the weird stuff happening around me.

₀₉₋₀₁₋₂₀₀₅

"So my name is Ashly Rowan, I'm a 22 year old girl who is currently moving from motel to motel because ha... i don't have a fucking steady job.. or a home. I drive a sage green 1975 ford F-100 which i sleep in most days... not the most comy tbh. It is now, september 1st when i'm starting to write this journal. I'm now in a motel in Little Rocks- Arkansas. Trying to figure out one of those stupid cases again... on my own. It's a vampire case, nothing too bad. Wish dad was here, he would be.. well probably in shock that i didn't do anything like college or something like that. But also would be proud that i was hunting the thing he got killed by....."

¹⁰⁻³⁰⁻²⁰⁰⁵

"I'm currently writing in my car.. I'm on my way to Bobby's house. Bobby Singer.. that old man. Sweet, but feisty and well.. old. But nothing i can't handle. I need his help with a case. Some nasty skin walker a few towns ahead. I need his advice.. and possible help because hell that thing escaped me many.. many times. My ribs are bruised.. and i have a few cuts on my face. Nothing to worry about. I found out that dad had some connection with the supernatural world before he died... but what?? That's what i need to find out.. Maybe i can ask Bobby? Anyhow.. I'm going to sleep now.. in my car in a parking lot at a gas station. Woohoo... goodnight."

The following day on october 31st, Halloween moring i drove the last bit to Bobby's house. Franticly knocking on his door. That's when i met Sam and Dean, their dad went on a hunting trip and hadn't come back. And Sam's girlfriend Jessica got burned up in flames a couple day's prior. Just how their mom died.. Well that's what they told me. I knew a little bit about John Winchester, because various hunters had told me about him. From what i heard he was a prick... but i didn't say that to their faces obviously.

Fast forward a few days later where the boys helped me take down the shapeshifter. We tracked its location down, it was staying in a sewer, of course. We made a game plan. All would enter different entrances of the sewer. So we could lock it in. This was I think one of the most terrible cases ever, so yada yada ya we walked our paths, all circling the skinwalker now. Then it decided to fucking run my way??? So now o was standing there.. in a sewer, covered in fucking slimy, bloody skin walker skin. Since Dean decided to blow that fuckers head off out of reflex. Fantastic... Definitely what I planned. We ended up cleaning off at the motel and meeting back at a diner to grab some food...

So this was basically my first few weeks in my DR. It was nightmare fuel in some ways, skinwalkers are definitely terrifying and I hate them. But even though, it was pretty fun if I say so. The brothers are so funny and sweet.

I will make other parts of this soon, i loveee telling you guys about my stories. Feel free to ask any questions, i'm happy to answer them.

xoxo alli.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tip jar

[silverfoxstole]

It’s done!

After ten days of work (and another three for a waistcoat I’m not that happy with; see below), the NotD coat is finished! Woohoo!

Overall, I’m really pleased with it, which is just as well as it’s taken so much time (and grief!). I worked out that if I’d paid myself minimum wage for all the hours I put in the labour alone would amount to about £500. One of my ex colleagues used to suggest I set up a dressmaking business and wouldn’t believe me when I told her it wouldn’t be cost effective as the amount of labour involved would make everything too expensive.

Anyway, I have taken quite a lot of photos, so you can see how it turned out:

This got long so I’ll stick the rest behind a cut.

I ended up adding some extra fabric to the tails, as they were sticking out at an angle and didn’t look right. It means an extra seam but it’s not that visible and I much prefer it this way, with more fullness at the back (and it properly covers my bum, which is very important!):

Though it looks fine on the dummy when I put it on I’m not convinced I didn’t raise the back waist seam a bit too far, but it’s sitting on my waist so… *shrugs* I don’t often look at myself from behind so it probably doesn’t matter that much.

After sewing on the two back buttons I changed my mind and went with the covered ones in the end, deciding on reflection that those I bought last week were a bit too pale. They would have fitted better if I’d made the binding more of a contrast (which I’m glad I didn’t as it would have been more obvious that it’s not exactly perfect in some places). I had to make the buttonholes manually as there was no way the automatic buttonhole foot wouldn’t get caught at some point. I haven’t sewn any that way since I first started out six years ago and was using my mother’s old machine! All the ones I’ve owned have had an automatic function so I had to practice a bit to remind myself how to do it. Thankfully they’ve turned out well.

I also solved the problem of the gap between the collar and lapel by stitching them together. It works a treat!

Though I’ve made a miniature version for Eight Bear, this is the first time I’ve tried to replicate an existing garment for myself (the Dark Eyes coat was an interpretation rather than a direct copy), and I am actually really proud that I’ve ended up with something that does look pretty much like the original, as well as Steven Ricks’s recreation, which has been a definite influence!

That said, while the coat has turned out well I’m not massively pleased with the waistcoat. I decided to make another one on a whim as I had a more accurate pattern and saw what looked like an ideal fabric but I don’t like it all that much now it’s done. It was hell to put together because the satin just started disintegrating and still is; I’ve had to sew up holes in both the pockets because the seams have just frayed straight through and I’d put them together before I thought of stabilising the edges with interfacing. It’s another men’s pattern and I should have made some adjustments but after doing so much to the coat I really couldn’t be bothered and just put it together as it was; I should really have added some length, which is ironic given the amount I had to remove from the coat, and perhaps levelled it off at the front. Consequently it’s not a great fit and sits really awkwardly on Stella as you can see, though that may have something to do with the fact that I put the buttonholes on the wrong side out of habit:

There is a watch on the end of the chain this time, because the pockets are real! I quite like the look of the waistcoat undone when I put it on, but done up not so much. There’s a lot of spare fabric in the front for some reason, which I tried to hide by smoothing it under the collar and then stitching the collar down. It hasn’t entirely worked, and it doesn’t help that the brocade is such a bouncy fabric and doesn’t press well.

Putting it all together I do think it looks better on Stella than me, but that’s probably because I rarely wear so many layers! I wish I had a better backdrop than the bedroom but it’ll have to do:

Maybe I could unbutton the waistcoat and untuck the shirt and be Eight having a casual day? I love the coat but I do feel much more comfortable wearing it over a t-shirt and jeans!

Now I just have to wait until some cooler weather to be able to put it into use. My only gripe is that there are no external pockets, either on the original or the pattern I used! Surely you’d think the Doctor would need pockets?

[minquiec]

The Grim Reaper and The Swallow Au

- unproofreaded unchecked everything I wrote this at 1 am yall

(The grim reaper idea is inspired from goblin hahshahsh)

---

Basically the concept of grim reaper is that they used to be people but died and became reapers (idrk why yet)

They retain some of their personalities and stuff but they essentially cannot remember who they are and can't/or unable to question who they used to be

They're also wired to focus on their sole purpose which is to take things who have died into the afterlife (includes animals)

But hb is an exception while he does do what he's supposed to do, he isn't fully committed to it (so that it's still somewhat movie accurate personality with the whole not following order thing HAHSHA)

So essentially the afterlife entities don't exactly like him and humans (that r on verge of death) don't like him cause uknow no one wants to DIE (minus those few exceptions where it's like a nice old grandma dying of old age ueueu)

In terms of what jia is she's like,,,idk a swallow that can shape shift (some magic bs and animal spirits and stuff)

In this world, there are like a select few animals that can shape shift/are sentient (BECAUUUSEE they also used to be humans but we're reborn. The idea is human --> died unfairly --> given a second chance to turn into a shape shifter --> if they do good/don't do anything outrageously bad in the shape shifter life then they are able to be reincarnated into humans in the next life [the bar isn't very high bc they died unfairly in the previous life.])

The animals are primarily animals and can't maintain human forms for that long and generally takes alot of energy to do so

They can also see other supernatural entities but doesn't mean they are necessarily friendly with all of them

So one day hb and jia meet cause yknow Heeheehaahaa

And bc hb is used to other things being scared of him (grim reaper stuff) he's a little confused why she hasn't run/flown away yet.

"aren't you scared, little dove?"

ASKKSKDKDKDK

And jia just like IM A SWALLOW 😨

But basically jia isn't scared cause generally swallows r optimistic and all around good vibes all the time becaaauuusueee swallows, as google says, represent good luck, safe travels, happiness, and positivity.

And she's like haha that's cause ik it's not my time to go yet!!

And he's like well how would you know that

And she's just cause I have good luck

(she's so dumb istg I love my daughter)

So now they start an odd friendship between the grim reaper and a swallow 🔥

And then to the angst bits

Basically it's probably at the very end of their time tgt

And it's approaching winter and jia is supposed to migrate

But she doesnt

Cause she wants to stay here beccccauuuuuuussssseeee she's on her last legs

She dying brouh so it means if she migrates she'll never see him again

But hb doesn't know this cause grim reapers are only told of the few minutes before the exact moment someone dies

And some other shid I haven't figured out happens and basically how they end is like two ways

One is the reincarnation pathway woohoo where jia dies as a swallow and hb takes her to the afterlife (sadly) and after a couple of hundred years probably she is reincarnated but he can never approach her again like he did before

Oorrrr we can go with

Hb essentially refuses to take her into the afterlife (cause he doesn't rlly follow his duties like I said) and both of them are by other grim reapers

At least they die tgt amirite 😄

[thelonesomequeen]

You people should've went with the pr theory , because of that you are being hated, people still think Chris is someone who wouldn't date 25 year

Oh, we know. But here’s the thing, this is our blog and when we’re asked, we’re going to give you OUR opinion and not cater to the masses and simply say what everyone wants to hear. Is that the popular thing to do? No. And we know that. But we aren’t here to run a weird popularity contest. We’d like to figure out what it is that’s actually going on even if that means having to wait for that clarity. Yes, we know the popular thing to do would be to scream this whole thing between Chris and Alba is PR, make up excuses and stories for every little thing, and drag her straight to hell and back. It would sure get us a lot of likes and follows. But is that an accurate description of what’s really happening between them? We don’t know that for sure. And we aren’t going to claim to know either. Some of you need to understand that that while it’s frustrating to be unsure about this entire situation, it’s also okay to be unsure. There are no rules that say YOU HAVE to take a side on this whole thing on whether it’s real or PR. I wish people would stop making this so two sided and allow for nuanced discussion to take place. It’s also okay for an opinion to change when you’re presented with information you didn’t previously have. Read that sentence again.

From day one of this entire fiasco we weren’t ready to believe Chris and Alba were together even after knowing they were obviously in the same locations around New Years. Likes and follows was enough proof for a lot of the fandom to believe something was going on between them, but we didn’t personally feel like that was enough evidence for us to get on board with a relationship being real. Especially when so much time was passing and the two of them had never been photographed together and were both working quite a bit during the first part of the year. You can look back in our archive to see that was a constant and consistent opinion here. We wanted to see actual evidence of the two of them together outside of social media movement. We kept hearing “well she’ll definitely be at his sister’s wedding!” She wasn’t. “Just wait! Alba will be at the Lightyear premiere!” She wasn’t. “Alba will be at The Gray Man premiere!” She wasn’t. “Chris will go to her NYC events and premiere for Mrs. Harris goes to Paris!” he didn’t. “Chris is going to visit her in Vancouver!” Still waiting on proof of that one! Add in the anon from over the summer who told us Alba had a boyfriend and provided a photo as evidence. Did it confirm a relationship with this guy? Not exactly. But they were way too cozied up together to be appropriate for someone in a relationship with a different person IMO.

Then fans kept screaming about all the trolling Alba was doing. Was she? I don’t know. It felt like regular posts to me after living through an era of Jenny and her blatantly obvious fandom targeted posts that very clearly let you know exactly where she was and who she was with. In comparison, Alba’s posts that fans feel like are trolling felt like a joke when thinking back to the stunts Jenny would pull. But that’s just my opinion. If you feel differently, that’s fine.

Fall is when things clearly started to get really interesting. That’s when my eyebrow started raising and some things started catching my attention. The first was the pumpkin posts. I don’t think I need to go further into detail because I’m sure we all remember it. There was a solid debate about whether it was done intentionally to “soft launch” the relationship or if it was trolling by Chris. Then the Sexiest Man Alive article drops woohoo! That’s fun for all of 24 hours. 🙃 Then enter Alba’s Instagram story from Wicked followed by Chris and his Instagram story from The Book of Mormon 24 hours later. At this point things were feeling a bit too similar to be simply coincidental. Then boom. Relationship announcement via People (a go to source for Chris for anyone who may have forgotten). A relationship article with…a nearly year long time line? YEAH RIGHT. Where’s the proof of that?! A tip off that a pap walk is coming. It does right as we get thrown in tumblr jail! (Seriously tumblr, that was trash. Yes there’s a post limit, but that was SO rude as drama was finally unfolding.) We all saw the pictures. We commented on how awkward, off, and unnatural it looked. How quick he was to let go of her hand and walk in front of her instead of with her. The article coming right after the SMA article paired with a planned pap walk really yelled PR. And at that point we felt like maybe it could be PR. We then later stated that those photos were still the only ones of them that existed and we still weren’t quite ready to admit that they were a couple. It looked and smelled like PR. We had mentioned that if they were in fact a real couple we’d see more pictures of them and pictures that felt more natural and organic than the pap walk did.

Then here comes Disney and the Disney picture leak. Hey, finally, the “more pictures” we’ve been talking about. There was, and still is, debate about whether that moment was real or PR. At that point we were inclined to believe “hey maybe this could be real?” It kind of started feeling real to us at that point and we said so. Others brought up the concept that this could be a real relationship that is co-existing with PR and we felt like that was a good point. IF the relationship is real and they’re pushing it for PR, they’d hardly be the first couple to do so. Yes, other things also happened this fall, but Disney was the thing that made us go “Oh shit. This really might be real.” Again, if you don’t agree, that’s fine. I’m sharing OUR opinion and thought process with you.

So where do we stand now? Well you’re going to hate this one, but we don’t know. We just don’t. I know, it probably has some of you rolling your eyes, but trust us, it annoys us too. We’re to a point where we’re just sick of WHATEVER this is. It’s why at times we’ve paused (never banned like some like to claim) the Alba talk here at the blog because it just becomes redundant and gets old fast. At one point, Disney kind of felt like the clue that things were real. But then they went right back to not being seen together or around each other again and that made us question their actual status again. Was Disney real or a flash in the pan moment to make this all look real? No matter where you stand on this, there’s a lot about this entire situation that we can all probably agree on that feels off and weird.

Do I think Chris would ever engage in a PR relationship? The short answer is yes. He’s done PR dates and weekends before, so I don’t think an entire PR relationship is out of the question. What I fail to understand is WHY he would participate though. What does he stand to gain from this? Really, the age gap discourse stands to make him look bad more than anything. It’s clear Alba stands to gain a lot, but Chris doesn’t. And that’s the part that doesn’t make sense. That’s the part that makes me wonder if it might be real. Why else attach himself to her? Do I think he’d do a PR relationship for purely money? Honestly? He doesn’t need it, so why would he? Do I think a PR relationship can help his chances of getting a future project made? No, not really. A studio is going to be interested in his work and talent, not his girlfriend.

Do I think Chris would really date someone 16 years younger than him? While he normally dates women of a similar age, yes, I do. Why? Because he’s a man and nothing inflates their ego more than snagging a PYT. It might scream midlife crisis to some, but it wouldn’t be a stereotype if it wasn’t a thing that happened. And I highly doubt her little video bothered him one bit. It was stock full of the type of shit men love with the wet clothing that’s white and see through that gets stripped off. She played right into the tropes a lot of guys like.

After learning about her cultural appropriation pictures and racist friends, do I think dating someone so awful would bother him? Not really. He’s looked past a lot of questionable things from friends in the past, he’s said and done his own questionable things, he was able to look past Jenny’s questionable issues when they were brought to light, so I don’t doubt that he’d look the other way when it comes to Alba and her friends too. Sorry if that’s harsh, but it’s just my honest opinion. I don’t think his moral compass is as strong as fans like to think it is. As we often try to remind you all, Chris isn’t Steve Rogers and never has been. That’s his PR image at work.

Do we like Alba? No. We really don’t. We didn’t say much early on because we didn’t know much about her. As others here have said, everything we’ve learned about this girl has been against our will. But the more fans started digging and the more we saw, the less we liked. But apparently if we don’t drag her non stop that means we love her and we’re being paid according to others? Ok? We might not drag her as hard as others do, but that doesn’t mean we like her. We just don’t feel like shit posting the same things 24/7 when there’s other things we can discuss. And honestly, every time someone douses this dumpster fire, it gets immediately relit. Look how much has come out in the last couple of weeks.

Do we believe the pap walk that was rumored to happen this weekend will happen? No. It became clear a troll was running around the fandom with this one and we said to take claims with a grain of salt because we have no way of verifying who sends in information or if it’s true if they don’t provide evidence.

Do we think they’re engaged or an engagement announcement is coming? NO. Sure we briefly discussed the visa process and how that can affect marriages and citizenship status, but it doesn’t mean we believe they’re engaged. We said so last night when asked. We aren’t sure if the entire relationship is real or not and you expect us to buy into engagement rumors? (The same rumor that dropped the same time as it did for Jenny?) Use some common sense there.

So what’s going on here? We don’t actually know for sure. I know that frustrates some of you and I’m sorry for that. We’re in a place where good, solid evidence could convince us in either direction at this point. Honestly, any time something happens one way or the other and I start leaning towards real or PR, something in the opposite then occurs and has me questioning and wondering all over again. Some actions feel legitimate, but others feel so calculated and planned. If anything, I think we can all agree that this situation is weird AF and has felt off from the beginning. And whether you personally believe it’s real or PR, I’m sure we’d ALL love to know what the hell Chris is thinking. Why is he involved with this specific woman, especially after all we’ve seen and learned lately?

[simcatcher-ts2]

Now with the actual gameplay:

Finally found the shrooms from the catalog!! well, the hunger rises ever so slowly but still, that counts for something!

So i wasn't lying, Rhan and Iva became friends! Quite funny thinking how Rhan woohooed Timu way more than Vhra ever did!

We need bodypoints for hunting, so there's alot of jumping rope in this household! Very historically accurate and all, but hey, they can't even go jogging yet xD

why are y'all looking at me like that?

Vhra in the back dreaming about peace. You're the only one Iva's at war with my poor bby! Also Iva's so clingy. Everytime I go back to her she's autonomously romancing Timu. Maybe if she gives him enough attention he'll stop woohooing around! that's such the strategy Iva -.-

Baby bump in a bikini! whoops!

I almost forgot about the kids. So Hapu's out because it's such a pretty night! I have him harvest the apple tree but for some reason none of them end up in his inventory.

Also Vhra is having a shower at the other end of the lot, apparently.

yes she iss. I'm all kind of here for that bump <33

Gyah.

uh oh! Second bump of the night :D

So Vhra openly oversteps and hops in Timu's bed in place of Iva! Idk where she is Vhra bby but, remember she's still not over you! and have you seen these muscles she has?...

Midnight stroll it is, then! Lucky Vhra!

Alright even better, Iva's gone to Rhan's tent! Yay girl's night!

Ah, yes, again. Pls don't die this time?

I can't get my mods right ;-; so i guess it's toasts until i figure the harvesting!

Look at me, even with a *cellar* fridge they're this close to death from starvation! What can i say i can't play this game right xD

Iva: do you believe in the afterlife, Vhra? :D

Vhra:...

So i thought nothing more of it except, heeheee Iva not nice! but then:

Iva's passing the hatred on to her kids xD Also should i be worried? i mean she escaped Grim twice already, her needs are constantly in the red AND there's this childbirth mod on so..... ugh

The joke doesn't make Timu laugh though. Not Vhra for that matter.

Rhan: sometimes you just gotta be kissed, you know what i'm saying?

Vhra: uh... suure...

[lavalampstealer]

🤝 How would you describe the nature of Phoenix and their Handler’s working relationship? (Bonus: at what point/s do you think this dynamic shifts?)

WOOHOO!!

Phoenix and Handler’s dynamic has been one that’s been a bit.. I don’t know, almost confusing. To me, at least. I see all these different interpretations of the duo and it’s hard to not have them influence my own at times. I’m gonna have to go game-by-game with this one because their working relationship definitely did change over the course of the series. And keep in mind, this is going to have a lot of headcanons/interpretations squeezed in here- I am going to go as close to game accurate as I can, which means it’s WAY too many words to not go under a cut. Also spoilers, of course.

Game 1: Phoenix (or rather, the Agent at this point), is a fresh faced newbie who Handler doesn’t seem to have long-term high hopes for. The beginning of the turning point for him starts as early as the end of Deep Dive, I’d say. He really didn’t expect them to make it out of that one, and he’s pleasantly surprised to see them alive. He’s a little more personable with them during their next mission, Winter Break, and even more so in First Class. He sets up riddles and puzzles in their cabin for them, clearly having fun with it.

By the time of Seat of Power and Death Engine, he’s definitely warmed up to the Agent and isn’t just putting on the show of being enthusiastic- it’s genuine. He’s at least gotten a little attached by now.

So, game 1 summary: from “oh goodie, new agent! I don’t expect them to last long” to “Hey, they’re not bad! I think they might actually stick around a while. We can trust them with a larger assignment.” (That assignment being the Juniper case- had we gone through Stage Fright in game 1, I doubt that the Agent would have been allowed stayed on. Not enough experience + hasn’t proved themselves, it would have been reassigned to someone who had that.)

Game 2: In the beginning, the Agent might just be one of if not his favorite active agents. He shows genuine concern and worry for them after they get reconnected in Jet Set, and he shares/expresses his disappointment with Juniper with them. I mean, just think about it- the last time he was disconnected from them like that was during Death Engine which, assumedly, would have resulted in any other agent at their skill level being killed. Moving on, he’s panicked for them when the guard comes in Eaves Drop (there’s more to talk about with ED but I’ll get to it somewhere else). “When you get back, you should get that eye looked at.” By now, he has confidence in the Agent and knows that they’ll make it back after this mission- seems easy enough, just sneak into John Juniper’s booby-trapped chateau and make it out alive with the briefcase. Piece of cake. Here’s my favorite part- Safe and Sound. Now there’s shift in their dynamic, nothing new there, but this time we feel it on the Agent/player’s end. They hear Handler acting.. off, to say the least, and they only lose trust in him as they become more and more uneasy up until the Juniper reveal. When they do get back in touch with the real Handler, there is a trust that’s been lost. Maybe not in Handler himself, as he scrambles to prove that he is who he says he is, but in whoever happens to be on the other side of their comms. But wait, there’s more! We learn from Handler that he’s apparently been searching for them himself for hours- do I even need to say anything for this? And here comes Rising Phoenix. His plea for the Agent to not do it as he recognizes that they’re going to sacrifice themselves, his cry for them when they fall, his shellshocked debriefing as he has to accept that the Agent Phoenix isn’t coming back this time, that there wasn’t even a body to recover. GODDDD HE CARES. HE CARES SO MUCH, IT HURTS TO LISTEN TO THAT DEBRIEFING.

To add to all of this, he had been (mostly) nearby/in very close proximity to Phoenix this time around, which means that they most definitely saw each other in person at least once. Stage Fright? I mean, it’s possible that they arrived separately and didn’t see each other. Jet Set is a no. Eaves Drop? They absolutely saw each other, Handler was up on the roof when they went down and came back up! Party Crasher? Handler was the getaway driver (“Come back to the van” versus “Get back to the van”). Safe and Sound? More of the same, they were probably driven by him to whatever their next mode of transportation was to get to the island with the Peace Summit. He wasn’t there for Rising Phoenix, but I bet that he would’ve been if he could have. Maybe he could have changed things..

Game 3: Good LORDDDDD his reaction in the tutorial (SOBBING SHAKING CRYING he’s so relieved and dare I say GIDDY upon finding out that Phoenix is alive and relatively safe). Yeah he’s so attached by now, it’s insane. HE WAS READY AND WILLING TO DIVE INTO THE OCEAN TO SAVE PHOENIX. !!! I’d probably have to go back and replay ieytd3 in order to spot more instances like this but tragically, I have not found a good chance to since this was asked + I don’t want to keep this sitting in my drafts for any longer than I already have (sorry asker😓). I was more focused on Roxana’s development than Handler’s when I did go through it, to be honest. He is very open and chatty by the end of this, though, he even tells us a story about his personal life! Even if we didn’t really get to hear about his thing with chickens.. sorry Handler.

I’m running out of steam writing this, but I like to say that this development applies to Cyan and Yellow as well, as even if I want to put my own spin on things with my Phoenix interpretation and such, I also like to have them be relatively on-brand. I don’t think it’d be fit for me to describe their dynamic in any other way than Agent and Handler, whether that be applied to how they were in Squeaky Clean or in Hot Water. It just Is, you know?

Hope you enjoyed the word wall!

[fictionkinfessions]

Once again, been a while since I commented here but I did wanna share some things with the blog since a few things have happened kin wise.

I'm not gonna go tooooo deep into personal history (the things I'll be confessing here are just the tip of the very deep iceberg) but like. if my friends or people who know me don't already know that this is my tag, it'll be a dead giveaway H

This will be a bit of a ramble but maybe it'll give someone some sort of insight maybe???

A while ago, I kinfirmed Josuke Higashikata from JJBA. Doesn't sound like a big deal at all. Just another, "woohoo! Another to add to the list of lives I've cycled through, I suppose." But in this life it was... rough to accept at first. Lemme explain.

For years it was hard to accept that I may be that flamboyant zesty 90s kid (which is REALLY funny said out of context) due to some bad experience with someone I used to be friends with. We were in a JJBA roleplay together that me and another friend (that I'm still friends with) ran. I played Josuke, they played Kira. Said roleplay fucked me up bad, to say the least.

From that point on after the whole ordeal, I didn't even want to think about kinning Josuke. I think it's because in my mind at the time, that roleplay Josuke that I played was the one I was gonna be, and I didn't want that as my canon. Oh, god, I wanted nothing to do with it. I was so scared of becoming the woobified version of me that this 14 year old roleplayed as that I was essentially blinded by my own bias against me.

Mainly, I was scared of it because what I saw and felt was accurate to things I didn't know were details from my canon were projected onto the characterization. This further pushed the idea that if I somehow kinfirmed Higashikata, then I must be the one I roleplayed as (not true at all).

Some of the things included: I was a lot more caring than canon is, I remember I got a job as a hair stylist, etc etc. It's only natural when you end up a character you roleplayed as has the shit you headcanoned revealing itself to be parts of what you used to be. It's projection. Again, I was so blinded and scared that I was gonna be that woobified uwu pastel one that I played as 14 and didn't even stop to think that maybe, just maybe, I could think about the feelings I had about certain people and events and realize.... whatever angst shitstorm that happened in that roleplay was purely fictional, and that my canon is my own and not what me and some other people made up on the spot as an angst fest.

I harbored this distain for years because I couldn't NOT associate JJBA with that roleplay until one of my friends started to get into it. It was at first to me, "Oh, okay, cool. People can like what they like :] /gen"

And then one of my other friends kinfirmed YOSHIKAGE KIRA. shit was absolutely shocking because one of the main reasons I was so turned away from part 4 was because in aforementioned roleplay, the person who played Kira and was absolutely toxic to me. The weird ass interactions between rp Josuke and rp Kira had like fucked me up pretty bad and as a result I couldn't see Kira the same way for years.

Again, all up until my friend kinfirmed the man and, while not of my canon (unsure what they did in theirs) it clicked that. I NEED to let go of that and see things in a different light. That's my actual friend, a real person, and not some weirdo that another 14 year old roleplayed as and essentially woobified the shit out of. Real ass person, not the same. I needed to drop the grudges.

This is what also made me start to accept--not realize, I'm pretty sure I knew for a long time--that I was Josuke, specifically part 4 Josuke. Everything clicked so hard, for years all the complaints and headcanons I had made so much sense because it WAS me. That abhorred rat episode? Didn't react like that at all. I tried to help those people (and failed). The fact I was so turned away from the 'Josuke becomes a cop' headcanon that I used to see all the time back in like 2019/2020 or something? It was because I didn't become a cop at all! Josuke was like, in essence, my first kin before I even knew what kinning was.

It feels more at peace to leave the trauma behind and instead holding onto it and despising a media that didn't really wrong me itself, but instead the people I used to know back in the day. Leaving it behind and accepting it leads me to new discoveries on all ends, like the fact that the memories I have as Josuke are as vivid as the ones I have as Klavier Gavin. Or, the fact that Josuke feels like a super close kin...

Maybe because for some reason I like to kin really zesty motherfuckers such as Mettaton, Klavier Gavin, and Josuke Higashikata... Fits right in with my kintype flawlessly.

Anyways, I share this all not only to kinfess but to say that, hey if you read it all the way down here... Hi :] I genuinely hope that, if something similar has happened, you're turned away from a character or a media you used to enjoy because of someone... It's okay. Let yourself recover, and don't be afraid if you feel it may be you. It probably is. And if so, whatever headcanons or complete characterization you used to have isn't what your canon's going to 'turn into' when you kinfirm. You are complex and you are your own person. You can't get it all right, especially when you didn't know it was you. Give it another shot, and like I said, take your time to recover. Have a great day!!

(sorry for any bad grammar or misspellings I may not have caught)

-#🕹️👾🎸

🐸

[nonbinary-sticks-the-badger]

ignore this let me rant about my surge playlist because i really love it

I LOVE THIS PLAYLIST SO MUCH IS SUCH A BANGER PLAYLIST I NEED TO PAINSTAKINGLY EXPLAIN TO YOU WHY I PUT EACH SONG ON IT EVEN IF ITS OBVIOUS

1. PINEAPPLE UPSIDE DOWN QUEEF JERKY, ethan is online

i dont think this majorly fits surge's character (other than the lady gaga meat dress part) but i think she'd probably do covers of queef jerky in universe (provided her life wasnt the way it is)

2. The Mind Electric Miracle Musical

i really love tally hall/miracle musical so um. dont be surprised to find them in a playlist of mine made after i started listening to them. the most commonly accepted theory is that its about someone being given electro shock therapy until they die/lose their mind, which (sort of) fits surge's story!!!

3. Modify Lemon Demon

the song is about extreme body mods. which kinda fits surge i guess.

4. Amnesia Was Her Name Lemon Demon

SHE DOESNT KNOW WHO SHE USED TO BE 🗣️‼️ SHE FORGOT 🗣️‼️

5. People Eater Sodikken

i think this song is meant to be about an abusive relationship??? it only very loosely fits but its a banger and i cant remove it

6. Fighter Jack Stauber

i dont think this song majorly fits either honestly but it can fit if you make it fit

7. ...Because I'm Young Arrogant And Hate Everything You Stand For Machine Girl

i cant hear most of the lyrics theyre screamed BUT I THINK SHE'D LIKE IT!!! also from what i can make out, it does fit

8. Ghost Machine Girl

this song's instrumental so it's entirely just 'well i think she'd listen to it and its a good song'

9. & Tally Hall

this song's about duality which doesnt majorly fit surge but absolutely sounds like something she'd listen to. also, later on in the playlist, there's A Lady which i added 2 months later which is a follow up of &.

10. Turn the Lights Off Tally Hall

urrrr it's about puberty and she's a teenager urrrr ummm

11. Doku Hakushi Hasegawa

this song barely fits BUT it sounds like something she'd like :D

12. SR20DET Blksmiith

instrumental but you CANNOT tell me she doesnt like breakcore and jungle

13. AM FM Vertigoaway

see above

14. Palmtree Panic - "B" Mix SEGA SOUND TEAM

ok so first of all this song actually is from sonic and second of all it sounds like trying to smile while wanting to scream which ig fits

15. Metallic Madness - "P" Mix SEGA SOUND TEAM

again, this is actually from sonic and also it sounds like something vaguely relating to surge

16. Oh Klahoma Jack Stauber

this song is about someone whose friend has social anxiety and they're trying to help them become social, which hurts not only the friend but the narrator themself. while not fully accurate, i could very easily imagine surge as the narrator and kit as the friend

17. Dead Weight Jack Stauber

similarly to oh klahoma, this is about someone who wants to be social but is unsure how. it doesnt really relate to surge but screw you jack stauber is a wonderful artist

18. The Dragon Game A Loud Scream SEGA SOUND TEAM

see 12, however with the addition of 'also its sonic team'

19. icosa Oliver Buckland

WOOHOO YIPPEE ENA!!!! (this song isnt FROM ena, but plays in auction day)

20. anemoia Oliver Buckland

ENAAAAAAAAAAA IM SO EXCITED FOR DREAM BBQ

21. God Race (Temptaion Stairway) Metaroom

ENA AND METAROOM ENA AND METAROOM ENA AND METAROOM

22. Kitty City Cyriak Harris

the animation to go with this has nothing to do with surge but i think the music gives surge vibes! ALSO its instrumental so you cant dispute that

23. Scrap Brain Zone Masato Nakamura

scrap brain zone, both as a song and as a stage, absolutely gives surge vibes. in sonic 1, im pretty sure every stage other than sbz and final zone has some form of natural element, and at the very least has happy sounding music. i also slightly associate scrap brain zone with overwhelming misery, due to the way it sounds, the name and also because when i first played sonic 1 i was stuck on it for ages omg

24. Unused Song (Sonic 2) Masato Nakamura

something about this song, including the fact it wasnt used, feels incredibly mysterious, which i mean you can link mystery to surge in a lot of ways

25. FAMILY GUY QUEEF JERKY, ethan is online

similar to the first one except its only 'i think surge would like queef jerky'. i dont know how you link this song to anything other than family guy.

26. A Lady Tally Hall

i think this surge vaguely fits surge and for some reason i cant help but picture this with surgamy. i mostly added it tho because i got mildly obsessed with it and had an excuse to add it seeing as & is in the playlist earlier

[bunbeeplays]

The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 42 - You Can Have Emotional Healing as a Little Treat

Time for Ophelia’s next re-traiting therapy session. Her therapist has a surprise.

Omari: I couldn’t find lollipops but my twins and I made these apple cider doughnuts. And by that, I mean I made them while they played in the cabinets. Toddlers, y’know.

Ophelia: Aww, thanks!

Ophelia chows down on her doughnut with a fork for some reason. Doesn't want to get glaze under her nails, I guess.

Omari: Did you keep that journal I asked you to?

Ophelia: Yeah.

Omari: Wonderful, why don’t we go over the past few days?

Ophelia: I didn’t swipe anything, not even autonomously.

Omari: That’s very impressive. I’m sure the urge was still there, correct?

Ophelia: Yeah. I got a tense moodlet and a want a couple of times to swipe an object.

Omari: That’s not uncommon.

Omari: Tell me about the times you wanted to swipe.

Ophelia: It's kind of weird, normally it just felt like I swiped whenever I wanted to because it made me feel good, but now that I’ve actually been trying to control myself, I noticed it only comes when I’m alone.

Omari: That makes sense. Being alone means there’s less risk of being caught.

Ophelia: But I can’t constantly surround myself with people. I’m going to have to do things alone sometimes.

Omari: Correct. And that’s what you’re here for.

Omari: Is there any particular time of day that these swiping urges are happening?

Ophelia: The past few days, they seem to be in the morning.

Omari: After any certain routine, perhaps?

Ophelia: Oh. Uh. Yeah.

Ophelia: Can I tell you things that are like… TMI? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.

Omari: I appreciate the concern, but I’m a trained professional. As long as you’re comfortable telling me, you can tell me whatever you’d like. I’ve heard a lot.

Ophelia: I have an… agreement with my friend Xander.

Omari: The bartender at the wedding venue? I think you mentioned him last time.

Ophelia: Yeah. We’re… woohoo partners. And lately… I’ve been getting the urge to swipe after he leaves in the morning.

Omari: I see. How do you feel when Xander leaves, other than wanting to swipe?

Ophelia: I don’t know. Sad. We have a lot of fun together, even if we’re just hanging out, and then it’s like… I’m all alone.

Ophelia: It’s not just Xander. I also feel it after hanging out with my other friends. Last Harvestfest, after eating dinner with my Willow Creek friends, instead of just walking across the street back to my house, I went to a museum in another city and stole a lawn flamingo.

Omari: Okay, good to know. Do you happen to have the people person lifestyle?

Ophelia: I do.

Omari: It’s a little early to determine anything for sure but do you want to know my theory?

Ophelia: Go for it.

Omari: It seems like your swiping tendencies could be connected to an aversion to being alone. An urge to fill an emptiness in your life with material possessions, as well as looking to void any sad moodlets from loneliness with the adrenaline that comes from a successful swipe.

Ophelia: I don’t like that theory.

Omari: Does it not sound accurate?

Ophelia: No, it sounds TOO accurate. That’s why I don’t like it.

Omari: Not an uncommon response.

Omari: I don’t usually encourage using food as a coping mechanism but would a doughnut help?

Ophelia eats another doughnut, because she was very brave today and she deserves it.

[smallcatsims]

Medieval Career Defaults

Alright, I’ve got another mod for you. It’s not as fabulous as my face templates but potentially useful to other simmers who do historical gameplay.

There are some amazing career replacements on Plumbob Keep by Bethgael and Morganna, but they don’t quite cover all the maxis careers, and I would have sims wanting to become a journalist/entertainer/etc and having to just ignore those wants, letting them take up slots. I decided to make my own, and I would never have figured it out without this tutorial from episims so props to them.

 Also I tried to make these as flexible as I could for different historical games. Note that I am not a history professor or anything like that and please don’t send me hate mail just because I got some detail wrong. I play my historical hoods (some mix of medieval, regency, victorian, cavemen.. I have a westeros neighborhood too) pretty much based on aesthetics and I’m sorry if some details aren’t completely accurate. I’m also very new to modding and haven’t done much except edit the flavor text and chance cards. I don’t know how to make new icons, change the career rewards, and I’m not even sure if the text on the ltws will match the new career names.

Today I have a few defaults for you, for three different careers. I do plan to upload a couple more of them later as well. I included versions with the maxis pay and with pay reduced by about one half since I find my sims get too rich too quickly with maxis pay, especially for historical sims. More details under the cut but I’ll put the links up here because I get a bit rambly lol. 

Defaults with 

maxis pay

reduced pay

Artist - replaced with.. artist. But there’s no fashion photography, comic book writing, making llama souveniers, etc. There is some art forgery and the top level is still called “visionary” but the chance cards are altered to be more period accurate. In the medieval times, artistry was considered to be much more of a practical and well paying career than it is nowadays. Artists worked in workshops where a master artist would enlist apprentices and other underlings to fulfil commissions. Your sim will go from an apprentice, work their way up through a workshop, and eventual become a royal artist.. until their work is so universally revered that they are considered a visionary.

Entertainer replaced with.. entertainer. I swear not all of them are this boring lol. It’s mostly very similar, lots of juggling, ventriloquism, singing for knights at court, becoming a court jester etc. There are a couple of “woohoo work” levels just to be warned. Custom chance cards, meant to fit the time period.

Journalism replaced with.. poet. Now this one requires some explanation. I had a lot of trouble coming up with this one. Newspapers are a pretty new invention, considering that so many people didn’t know how to read during the medieval era. News was delivered by town criers for many years, which I could not figure out how to make a 10 level maxis career out of. Sometimes news was delivered on little brochures like Lady Whistledown in Bridgerton, and news papers obviously became a thing at one point but I would have to do so much research to try to make that accurate at all and the way it works varies significantly across times and places. I ended up making a Shakespeare inspired poet/playwright career. Again, custom chance cards to make it period accurate.

I’m planning defaults for the adventurer and intelligence careers as well. The adventurer career will be just called dread pirate and filled with 10 levels of pirate stuff. The intelligence default is based on the spies from sims medieval. I have a lot done, I just haven’t finished the chance cards for those two careers. Chance cards are hard and take forever to write. I worked really hard on the ones in these so I hope you enjoy!

[raccoonfallsharder]

tiny lil candied violet ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚. i didn’t want to share your link without your explicit permission but i did want to tell you that i did read it and. i love it. like, a lot. your writing style is so easy to read, so natural & flowing. i am INVESTED in reader. i feel for them. i get the imposter syndrome. i also get what it’s like to constantly underestimate what you bring to the table as a healer, and how healing is so often unnoticed and undervalued by others too. i also get chronic pain lol woohoo

and your characterizations! these initial reactions are 10000% accurate to rocket’s character between vol 1 & 2 like. he absolutely would not respond any other way. the exchange with drax had me actually grinning. we really only catch a glimpse of pete but he’s also completely character-accurate imo. just fuckin flawless.

the notes for future plot points?? i am like. on edge. I want more. what’s gonna happen? more importantly how is it going to impact these two??

seriously. im so invested. no pressure (write what you want, when it feels good to you) but if you ever end up posting, PLEASE lmk because i want it so bad.

(also tbh i don’t need smut. almost all my pre-2023 fics were smut-free. when i first started writing window jo was gonna be ace. i honestly just love a good healing relationship and it’s very clear you’re writing one)

OH i almost forgot. fuck the medpacks. i mean medpacks are great. they’re like — awesome, highly-advanced bandaids. but medpacks can’t make decisions. medpacks can’t be creative problem-solvers. they can’t think critically in a crisis. medpacks can’t walk twenty of themselves onto the battlefield, prioritize different injuries, and apply themselves as needed while others continue to fight around them. perhaps most importantly, medpacks have no bedside manner. they can’t talk you through your panic, or comfort the frightened friend who applied them. they can’t distract you from your pain while they stitch you up. they’re shit for morale honestly

the galaxy will always need healers

[nikatyler]

somebody said they will just woohoo anywhere and you were absolutely correct also wtf is this pose 😭😭 very much accurate to his character tho i think

[pickerelstripe]

[CM] Birds - Yassga

Woohoo, bird time! Out of all my Claymew expansions, my bird list has definitely taken the most work. I have a special interest in birds IRL so I wanted to make it as accurate as possible - which means i’ve been adding, removing, and adjusting species for over two months! But thankfully I think I’ve finally landed on a good roster (though I can’t guarantee there won’t be changes in the future, as with everything about this project).

As a reminder, ClayClan sorts birds into four categories - yassga*, fafya, eyawoon*, and biyaw*. These categories will be split into five posts (the biyaw* list is so long I decided to cut it half). Learn about this sorting system here. Yassga* is the term for birds that pose a threat to cats.

Without further ado... let’s get birding! Below are translations for two hawks, bald eagles, geese, herons, and great horned owls. And a bonus verb, to celebrate bird time!

The Birds

Rough-legged hawk (Buteo lagopus) - Raee Large hawk with feathered legs and dark, streaky markings. Sometimes present in ClayClan during winter months. Though rare on the territory, they’re a threat when encountered, and may snatch young cats as prey. They feed on rodents, rabbits, and squirrels.

Red-shouldered hawk (Buteo lineatus) - Yaee Red-breasted hawk with distinctly striped wings. Present year-round but most common in spring and summer. Feed on reptiles, birds, and mammals. They’re large enough to take cats. 

Bald eagle (Haliaeetus leucocephalus) - Ssipip Huge bird - adults have a white head and tail, but juveniles are dark with splotchy pale markings. Present year-round. Bald eagles aren’t actually a threat - they feed mostly on fish - but they’re so large and intimidating that Clan cats consider them yassga* anyway.

Adult canada goose (Branta canadensis) - Hwank Canada goose gosling (Branta canadensis) - Weep Huge and distinct, with a long flexible neck. Present year-round. Though they don’t prey on cats, they’re very capable of causing harm, especially when raising chicks - many warriors have stories of being young and stupid and getting chased, bit, or slapped by an angry goose! Goslings may be taken as prey up until about 4 weeks, but it’s a dangerous task.

Adult great blue heron (Ardea herodias) - Awk Great blue heron chick (Ardea herodias) - Eheh Very tall; have a long neck, long beak, and shaggy mane on chest. Present year-round, but most common in late summer and fall. They won’t go after cats but, like bald eagles, are intimidating enough that they count as yassga*. Chicks may be taken, but it’s dangerous.

Great horned owl (Bubo virginianus) - Woo’oo Big and strikingly cat-like with their yellow eyes, striped feathers, and expressive “ears”. Present year-round, but most common in spring and fall, and more often heard than seen. Feed on a variety of animals and may prey on small cats.

Bonus Verb

To swoop - Bwoosoo, bwoos, bwoo The word for how a bird comes down to catch its prey! Also the word for any particularly nice pounce, and a good suffix. I originally made this word to translate warrior Foggyswoop’s name (fun fact, name translating is how Claymew began).

[honiilemonn]

project garden

so this project is one i’ve wanted to do since i was just starting to really get into minecraft, which basically means i’ve had this idea brewing in my head for a few years. project garden is a name i only came up for it recently when it began to become something that i was finally ready to carry out, but it encapsulates the core idea pretty well because it’s just that: a garden project. the main idea behind project garden is to make personalized gardens for all my favorite people using their favorite flowers and foliage. while this on its own sounds like a very cool thing, i think my reason for wanting to do this so badly for so many years is because i never feel like i have the words to tell my loved ones how much they mean to me. i feel that putting a piece of my favorite people into my favorite game is allowing me to more accurately show how much they mean to me. also healing my inner child who never did a lot of these things woohoo!!

anyways! i’ll be making a bunch of different posts about this build project. i’ll be posting my pot designs, my builds i do surrounding the gardens, the gardens themselves, my brainstorming, and i’ll also probably end up compiling all the seeds i end up hunting through to find one i like! :D so excited to have a project to work on this is gonna be GREAT

[soleilocverse]

Chapter 20 Commentary

"Just let me know if there’s anything I can do for you, too.” Soleil looks at him in confusion for a moment before he hesitantly agrees and then leaves to get Ness.

Soleil "what could I possibly need" Etain as if he is not about to absolutely crumble under all this pressure he's putting on himself. Even when Ray spells it out in clearer terms he is absolutely hyperfocused on the physical sickness aspect and only for Ness's sake

He gives Ray a transparently desperate look so Ray tables it for now, not willing to stress him out further while he’s eating.

Was soooo thinking about how ur not supposed to stress your pets out in their eating areas

Lots of kitchen appliances as bg or the Only noise going on lately.

"N—I'm awake! I'm awake, thank you." He yelps and Ray watches his hands as they shoot out to grab his plate and pull it closer to him. “I’m very grateful that you made us pancakes. Thank you, Ray.” He gives a hysteria-tinged smile.

[DJ voice] two steps back now y'all. woohoo for being careful not to say "no," fear of food being taken away, thanking (twice), expressing his gratitude, and a nervous Name drop. he is not doing well (i think it should've come through in fic but the lack of sleep is Not doing wonders for him. and it's not Just lack of sleep but a lack of sleep and then worrying him self into the ground while he's awake) tho!! small mercies, he does not apologize here. And then poor Ness is equally caught up in the vibes, if Soleil is worried, should he be worried too? And Soleil has to continue balancing not stressing Ness out while being Super Stressed which is doubly not great for admitting to himself/others that smth is wrong

"Did you know that they’re not supposed to live in bowls that tiny?” He says after a long moment. Ray looks at Soleil’s hands too, irritated and peeling as they are. “I did,” he says, “Athena told me once when we went to the store together.” Goldfish too. When they would go to the pet store for Athena’s cat, they would try and see how many dead fish they could spot in the stacks of palm-sized plastic containers. Some dark high-schooler curiosity that he thinks wouldn't sit well with Soleil and that makes him uneasy in the back of his mind, thinking of pretty, dead things in small, cramped quarters. It makes him feel uneasy looking at how vacant Soleil is now.

I like the lyricism of this bit. Hence it gets title rights despite the morbidness. But i also like Soleil having a fish motif and while the comparison of him living in a dark, enclosed space is v literal, I'm also thinking about the mental aspects and his history of having nobody else to rely on (Rose withstanding but even that was only so much), so ofc it's hard for him to even Think he could rely on ray here even if he Wasn't doing his best to isolate as much as possible. (And then isolating from a sickness point And from a return to his former way of living as like a safety crutch/ingrained pattern thing. v messy!)

Then he seems to shrug off his heavy mood with an ease that speaks of practice. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say that he’s pulling on another layer. He doesn’t know which is worse.

This too! I liked the wording of it and Ray watching right in front of his eyes as Soleil transforms so fully just for Ness.

“I’d like to help more. You seem really tired. And stressed. And distressed.” He presses as softly as he can. “I’m worried.” Soleil blinks at him and Ray’s hoping he’s not imagining some of the clarity.

This and this whole convo, Ray is trying SO HARD! and soleil just DOES NOT GET IT. in the long-run he has SO little practice at taking care of himself, esp when it's "time to put on blinders and disregard my emotional and physical health to make sure ness is alright" mode. he genuinely does Not even notice how much worse he is doing right now, rather than willfully ignoring it. (like, w/ making breakfast for the others, trying to pay for a perceived mistake w/ a service, at least then he realized he was slipping back into old habits, and he did Not like it)

And props to Ray for getting Soleil to promise to talk to Penny / promising to loop Cyrill in. I think he would've gone to athena first bc they've known each other for so long, like that's his best friend, but athena is sleeping </3 I Did actually try writing an alternate ending where Ray tells Cyrill exactly what's up but then Ray's reasoning in the final ver comes true, Cyrill gets all worried and fretful and then he gets restless bc he can't go to Soleil in person (but he would reach out over text, and i genuinely think it would stress soleil out to have Two people being like, hey we noticed these behaviors and they're concerning which he would twist into oh no i am doing something Wrong. but he would Continue doing them bc he's much more stressed about ness so >> not great for anybody). i added in cyrill texting soleil like, in ao3 editor that's how late that change was but i think it's a nice compromise. main point here is that ray /is/ in fact ready to ask other people for help. he's p go with the flow overall (which can be a problem sometimes) but it means if the flow is saying find outside help, he'll go do that p quickly.

When he brings the plate up for Cyrill, it’s comforting to hear the expected and ridiculous, “haha, balls,” Cyrill gives as he uses one finger to push one of the chocolates into the other.

man did this chapter need some levity. and i think it's fun when the other POV charas are a little in the dark about smth that's just popped up

i had to change the ending line from "the point is moot" to "it's a moot point" bc the second Is like, the way u say it but also consider, i like the way the first sounds better. i think i do actually say like, the point is moot somewhere else in fic but idt that was a final chapter line so lower stakes AHDKJASDH i know i put the warnings for a reason and I always hope they're useful cause I'll be re-reading to check for grammar/typos/to make sure i've actually Completed the chapter and not left a transition missing, or to fill this commentary or my consistencies doc out, AKA i'll be doing a lot of re-reading and every now and then i'll have to do my own breathing exercises midway through like, oh man why tf am i so anxious, AS IF i'm not reading from the POV of a highly anxious character who came straight from my brain AHKDJAHKL this arc was SOOOOO not good for my anxiety at points AHSDKJSADHKAJHDJKASK, i've been writing this sickfic arc since last year (specifically what is currently ch 22 since december and FINALLY,,,, TENTATIVELY FINISHED THIS MONTH HOLY HELL) and there have been plenty opportunities for me or someone i live with or someone i interacted closely with to be sick and @@ man. great for yay :) fic research :)), less great for not feeding into my anxiety oops. i'm not sure what the etiquette for compulsion tagging is but I thought it better to list them in the ending tags bc then people can gauge "oh yeah that's one of my triggers maybe i ought to steer clear for a sec" rather than wading into the fic and getting smacked with, ooh hahaa cool i do that :), and then i feel like there's a big difference between the POV chara doing it and then an outside chara seeing it so i wanted to clarify that. squints. next chapter will be much more from Soleil's POV so more emphasis on the thoughts/internal processes rather than the outside perspective of him acting on his compulsions