#((I have strong opinions about everything in case you couldn’t tell))

[hom3land3r]

Homelander had just finished an interview in his office for TIME magazine when he heard his phone buzz…and then buzz again. Clearly someone was trying to get his attention. While Ashley babbled by his side, he checked his phone and read the two messages from James. A smile formed on his lips at the typos, technology being the vampires downfall still. Of course, he wasn’t that much better yet played it safe by not typing anything and purely sending a “👍” instead.

“Yeah, Ashley I gotta run. But I’m sure you’ll sort everything out, right? Good girl.” Homelander said with a smile as he headed off to the Seven meeting room. It wasn’t long before the thud of boots echoed along the hallway and the Supe appeared at the doorway. He stood tall and proud, arms behind his back as he tilted his head, gaze locked on the younger vampire. A smile formed on his features as he headed further inside the room. “Well, well. What do we have here?” He hummed. “Skylar, right? Young vampire and thorn in James’ side. You’ve given him quite a bit of trouble tonight, haven’t you sport?”

Homelander’s tone was calm, even friendly, creating an illusion of security. But James would know better what game he was playing. He half sat on the edge of the meeting room table in front of Skylar. When the kid hadn’t responded or even reacted to his presence, Homelander reached out and grabbed the kid by the jaw, staring him in the eyes. He saw the faintest flicker of green in them. “Oh, come now. Drop the thrall muzzle, James. Let the kid speak.” He instructed without looking away, letting go of Skylar. “After all, he’s plenty good at it, wouldn’t you say?” His gaze shifted to James for a moment with a chuckle before moving back to Skylar.

“You seem to have ruffled quite a few feathers tonight, pal. That’s no easy feat when it comes to James. Frankly, I’m quite impressed.” Homelander stated with raised brows. “I’ve clearly gotten under that cold, dead skin of yours. Ironic since this is the first time we’ve ever met, but I don’t know whether to be flattered or not?” He hummed, pretending to actually think about it. “You have…very strong opinions of me as…misguided as they are. Oh, don’t look so surprised! You really didn’t think I couldn’t hear you from the moment you set foot in the tower?” Homelander leaned close, a dark smile on his face. All teeth…and fangs. “I heard everything.”

Easing back, he let the silence hang in the air for a long moment before speaking again. “Creating a scene in a crowded place isn’t a wise move unless you can back it up. And from what I’ve seen, you couldn’t so much as defend yourself from a paper bag never mind another vampire…or me.” Homelander stared the kid down. Even half sat on the table, his size and presence loomed over Skylar. The vampire had nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. He was outnumbered and right in the middle of the lion’s den. “Mm. Seems like a traditional case of all talk and no action. That’s disappointing for a vampire. Makes me even more grateful to have James at my side. What was it you said earlier…James put the term vampire to shame? …Oh, don’t look so confused. He tells me everything.” Homelander said as he tapped at his temple with a smirk. This whole time James had been showing him mental pictures and key points of his interaction with Skylar. Filling in the pieces outwith the reach of Homelander’s senses.

“See, from where I’m sitting, it looks like James is in a far better position than you are right now. You may have your own opinion when it comes to him working for me, but you’ve only seen one side of things. Believe it or not, we’re a team. A true team. Better and stronger than the Seven ever were. James here is my eyes and ears of the city we call home. The city we protect and where we hunt. And you little fella, thought you could waltz in and fuck that up for us without any consequences. Talk about putting the term vampire to shame!” Homelander laughed, glancing over at James.

However, as Skylar attempted to shift and stand to object, Homelander quickly snapped into action as a hand reached out to Skylar’s shoulder, pushing him back down into the chair. “Just you stay right where you fucking are, you pathetic little bloodsucker. I’m not done with you yet.” He snarled, eyes glowing red in warning.

@ibit3u @ashortdropandasuddenstop

Skylar had returned that growlhiss with one of his own as he was slammed against the nearest wall. He was about to protest, to struggle and attempt to fight back. James’ grip was stronger than he could overcome, and he hated that fact. The moment he was silenced by the hand over his mouth, Skylar muttered and mumbled a string of curses as his brows furrowed in pure fury.

Again, he tried to struggle. Tried to break free of that grip…but couldn’t. And then all was lost as James commanded eye contact. Skylar couldn’t resist, obeying as a pack would obey its alpha. He couldn’t refuse the elder vampire. As dark eyes met green, he felt himself be pulled deeper and deeper, felt the walls of his mind cave in and a leash around his neck as he came to heel under James’ control.

His movements stilled. He stopped resisting and instead totally gave in to what the elder had commanded. The muttering and objections had also stopped. Skylar fell silent under James’ touch, his eyes growing distant and hazy as if he was out on autopilot. Yet he was aware of everything around him, he just couldn’t react in any way. He was now docile, James getting some peace at last.

As Skylar was dragged through to the elevator, he followed obediently under James’ guidance. While inside his mind he wanted to scream and tear the elder to shreds…he couldn’t. Not after that command, not after the thrall. Only when it was lifted would Skylar be free and in control again. All he could do was obey and do as he was told, which pissed him off more and more with each passing second. Even in the elevator, Skylar stared straight ahead, eyes glassy. He couldn’t react to James’ own taunts and warnings about Homelander. The fact he was being brought to the Supe made him feel sick. Who the hell made him in charge, and how the hell did he obtain a vampire lapdog?!

None of it made sense. But deep down Skylar knew he wouldn’t get out of this easily. Either Homelander would kill him instantly…or somehow find a way to drag out his torture for longer. Whatever the case, Skylar was outnumbered. He couldn’t even fight James never mind adding Homelander to the mix, and he doubted any vampires he knew would be interested in that fight either. So he was all alone. He’d have to be smart about this…if he even got the chance to be.

As the elevator pinged and the doors slid open, Skylar was once again guided and led by James. He was very much aware he was being brought to Homelander just so James could bask in the glory and please his master. The idea made him want to throw up, however while under that thrall he couldn’t do much of anything at all until it was lifted. Skylar hated nothing worse than being trapped inside his own mind. It was useless to even try fighting it. James was too powerful to be weakened. He would have to rely on the elder becoming distracted in some way. Perhaps at the sight of his master? There was a small chance and it wasn’t one Skylar was relying on. James seemed like the professional type that was too focused on not letting Homelander down to allow himself to disappoint in any capacity.

Skylar would have no option but to see this through, one way or another…

[artist-issues]

@clown-weed

Ew. No, actually, it’s not.

That is not at all what it is about. If it were about being a little kid who’s free-thinking is beaten down by adults making you do nonsensical things out of tyranny, Alice would defeat the Red Queen. She would not have to escape the Red Queen.

Disney’s Alice in Wonderland is a cautionary tale about the kind of attitude that must have everything their own way. It is wrong when the Red Queen does it, and it is wrong when Alice insists on it, in the beginning of the movie.

Let’s be very clear about how stories work. In the opening scene, we are introduced to our main character, the little girl we’re going to follow and relate most closely to for the rest of the story. What do we learn about her? She doesn’t listen to her older sister who tries to explain that she needs her history lesson, with or without pictures, and she wants to live in “a world of her own.”

Where the flowers talk. And the animals wear clothes and talk. And she thinks it would be a Wonderland—it’s all right freaking there in the song.

Then Alice abandons her history lesson and chases an example of that world she so badly wants—where everything would be her own way—the White Rabbit. And from that moment on, every action she takes goes like this: “well, I know I should probably stop and think before I do this thing, but I’m going to do it anyway because I feel like it.”

She feels like crawling into a hole after the White Rabbit, and she does, and she falls into a world she can’t get out of. She feels like crying because she’ll never get home, and she does, and she floods the room. Her whole problem is that she often knows what the right thing to do is, but she just does whatever she wants in the moment because she wants it.

Like a little kid who obeys every fleeting impulse.

Enter the Queen of Hearts. A character who just wants what she wants. She’s the definition of what Alice could be if she takes her worst character trait—wanting things just her own way—and keeps chasing that.

In the end, Alice runs away from the Red Queen. She wakes up from her nightmare and immediately tries to obey her sister and “recite” in a panic. It’s kind of a joke—she starts reciting what the Caterpillar recited in her dream out of confusion—but the truth is, that’s where we leave Alice. She’s reciting, otherwise known as “repeating a lesson learned.” A long way from where she was at the beginning of the movie, when she was refusing to pay attention to her history lesson because it didn’t have the pictures she liked.

The movie is about the dangerous habit of jumping into whatever you want to jump into and waiting for things to be your own way, simply because you want them that way. The movie is about finding out that what you really want—a world with no responsibility, no long-term memory, no sense, and no future—is actually not a Wonderland, but a place to get lost and forget who you are. It’s a place you should come out of, eventually, unless you want to be completely out of touch with reality and behaving like everyone else should match your whims—just like a certain Queen of Hearts.

Don’t give me that “stick it to the man,” ageless idiocy of a mistaken notion that children somehow know better than adults. Children will stick their hands on red-hot stovetops and run out into traffic and completely ignore learning from the mistakes of their ancestors in their history lessons if they don’t have adults to help them. As a certain wise parent once said, “they’ll grab at the first shiny thing with flashy ribbons you wave in front of them. All a parent can do is say, ‘wait, trust me.’”

I mean, the last freakin’ shot of the movie is, the girl who was chasing nonsense in the form of a White Rabbit is now following her responsible older sister. Jeez.

All three of the directors on Alice in Wonderland had children, and you know Disney himself had his two daughters before Alice in Wonderland ever came out. If you think for one minute that this movie was about how kids are forced to learn nonsense, rather than taught not to overindulge in nonsense when it turns you into an out-of-touch tyrant, you are duping yourself.

[januaryembrs]

I MIGHT JUST BE IN LOVE | Spencer Reid x Prentiss!Reader [8]

GIF by fightingdragonswithwho

decription: the FIVE times they hide that they're dating + the ONE time they tell everyone

word count: 17.5k

warnings: blood, gore, usual cm stuff. FLUFF, OH GOD FLUFF. mention of sex (minors DNI in this one), no actual smut but very close to it (actual smut chapter of their first time to come soon), tiny sprinkle of angst because its ME.

author note: WE'RE BACK POOKIES. I'M SO SORRY MY BRAIN STOPPED FUNCTIONING.

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‘oh god I’m gonna marry him, if he keeps this shit up,

I might just be in la la la la la love’

The one with the revenge.

“This is so against company policy,” Bugsy murmured, her fingers twined in Spencer’s hair as he pressed urgent kisses to her neck. 

“Only if they have evidence,”  Spencer replied, his brows furrowed as she attached her lips to his fervently. They’d held it together until this point, kept the touches minimal, left the make outs and needy hands for home when they could be themselves without exposing their best kept secret to the rest of the team. But today was different. Virginia had reached an unnaturally hot peak, and the whole team had been forced to swap out their usual professional attire with something more casual. Spencer had forgone his sweaters, which had been a mourning in itself, and instead had been rolling his sleeves to his elbows in some attempt to cool his thick veins. 

Bugsy hadn’t needed to voice her opinion of the new look. Spencer wasn’t stupid, and he certainly wasn’t blind. He saw how she looped her fingertips between his, the second they had a minute alone, how her eyes trained on his hands when he drove them home, how she would press a quick peck to the back of his hand in between moments of silence when she had little more to do with her mouth. 

“Isn’t that funny, the evidence locker doesn’t have cameras, that’s almost-” She cut herself off with a jolted moan as he kissed over her collar bone, nipping so gently that it wouldn’t leave a mark. 

“And you guys say I talk too much,” Spencer said, a hint of teasing in his voice as she looked at him with a gaping mouth, learning very quickly that Spencer was a downright menace when they were sneaking around, the boy who never broke the rules, who ironed his socks and folded his underwear almost devilish at the idea of doing something in secret.

She pinched his bottom cheekily, and he jumped slightly, only to find her giggling to which he cut her off with an even harsher kiss. 

She was addictive, which was a strong claim to be made by a man like him. Yet he found himself thinking everything about her lips was laced with a toxin he couldn’t keep away from, like he’d had a taste of fresh air and couldn’t be without or he’d begin to turn bluer than Violet Beauregarde. He’d found the golden ticket, the key to the factory. For once in his life, Spencer Reid had come out the other side and won. 

Bugsy’s hands were yanking at his locks, their lips sliding against one another, and he pushed to the back of his head that they only had about three more minutes before it became suspicious that they were gone from their desks so long. 

And as if some being up in the heavens was sat back watching with popcorn, the door handle rattled as someone entered the room, and the two of them sprung away from one another. 

David Rossi strolled in, a fresh cup of coffee in his hand as he sat through his second batch of paperwork, looking for the file from the Milwaukee case to use as source material, His shirt had been unbuttoned, the Virginia heat stifling and he was already starting to regret picking a hot drink over the cold crap that wasn’t even real espresso that Penelope liked from Starbucks, yet he thought he might take anything that would cool him down when he strolled into the back room that was known for no open windows, and the sight of two sweating agents greeted him. 

Spencer’s hair was messed from where he must have ran his hand through it a bunch of times, trying to get it off his neck, Bugsy’s shirt was tucked where she probably attempted to cool herself off in the obnoxiously stuffy four walls as they both flicked through separate files, standing about ten feet apart from one another. 

“It’s a hot one today, kids,” He said, sliding his coffee on the table and strolling past the two of them towards the ‘M’ section. 

They stole a glance at one another, knowing smiles passing between them because it felt entirely clandestine what they were doing. 

“Don’t suppose the director would mind if we pulled funds to invest in a BAU swimming pool, would they?” She chimed in, fanning her blouse out because it really was stuffy in there, she had just assumed it was the feeling she got when she kissed Spencer. 

“We fuel the jet once a week, what’s a pool between co-workers,” He shrugged, smiling when he heard her giggle. 

Spencer pulled the folder he was actually looking for off the shelf, making his way to the exit, watching her eyes shy away from him because they both knew it was entirely obvious when they looked at one another, mainly because his cheeks heated up beyond what he could excuse as being the heat wave.

Yet he was feeling brazen, and maybe a little embarrassed at the way he’d leapt up as she’d grabbed his butt, and with a quick glance back to make sure David was nose deep in the bookshelves, he reached out and gave her ass cheek a quick pinch as he waltzed passed her, hearing her yelp and drop her folder as he did so. 

He left the evidence room with a smirk, heading back to his desk and keeping a low profile though he knew she was scrambling to collect the papers off the floor in the wake of his shameless grab. 

“You okay?” Rossi asked, his brows raised and watching the girl rearrange all the papers into a neat pile, a flustered look on her face. 

“Yeah, just thought I saw a spider,” She said, her voice breezy though her heart racing was anything but. She would have her revenge for that, she swore. 

If Spencer wanted to play that game, then it was on. 

-

Two days later, she had all but strolled into work with a shit eating grin, and he knew she was plotting something then. She had been unnaturally quiet on the car ride, had tried to keep her glances at him sparse, though he caught the little smile that tugged at her lips whenever he looked at her. 

“What?” He tried, despite the fact she shook her head in refusal, her eyes already sparked with mischief, “What? What’s that look for?”

“Nothing, just concentrate on the road, Spence,” She said, though he heard her toes tapping together with delight, and she sighed dreamily as she looked at him. Though he was under no illusion that it had come from a place of endearment, no matter how much she adored him. Because of course she loved him more than anything, he had no doubt about that, yet he also knew she loved a sweet serving of revenge just as much, and it was for that reason her smile alone worried him a little.  

“Oh, nothing, really?” He said with narrowed eyes, though he felt the infectious beam spreading on his face because he loved seeing her happy even if it undoubtedly was coming at his expense, “So I shouldn’t be expecting salt in the sugar shaker, hm? Or a water balloon under my seat?” 

“No, absolutely not,” She feigned innocence, reaching over to squeeze his hand in hers with a guiltless expression, “I am much more creative than that, Spence. I’m going big or going home, honey, you should know that by now,” 

Spencer snickered, pulling her hand up for a sweet kiss to the back of her knuckles, “I don’t know why I expected otherwise,”

The look of the cat that got the cream returned, and she merely hummed along to the radio. And oddly enough, Spencer was excited to see what she had hidden up her sleeve if it meant he could make her so childishly excited. He thought about embellishing his freight when she inevitably jumped out at him or had a can of worms pop out of his desk drawer, just to have her seem fulfilled just that bit longer. 

He didn’t care how much of an idiot it made him look, he was already a fool in love. 

Spencer trailed a few paces behind her as they stepped out onto the sixth floor, and he knew she had something truly diabolical planned because she was so brazen as to lean up and press a kiss to his mouth in the elevator, pressing her body against his and letting her velvet tongue slip into his mouth tenderly. He could have slammed a hand on the emergency stop button right then and there, could have devoured her mouth and her lips and her hot kisses some more until he stumbled out of the doors drunken and idle on her intoxicating touch. 

He made a move to caress the back of her head with one of his large hands, weave his nails through her scalp to hold her tight to him, only for her to part quickly, leaving his cheeks flushed and his lungs craving more than just oxygen. 

“For good luck,” She said with a chirp, a skip to her steps as the metal doors slid open, and she danced away from him with a grin that told him his day was about to be swiftly ruined by whatever it was she had organised. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked with a mildly worried tone, not letting her get away from him too easily as he paced behind her, his lean legs weighed down and skittish by the fact his cock was quickly getting hard at the spritely woman who had him trailing her like a dog begging for a bone. He tried not to think of the irony in those words, his expression conflicted between interested and hesitant, “Bugsy?”

“I thought you were supposed to be a genius. It means good luck, Spence,” She teased through a wry smile as she plonked herself at her desk chair, swivelling around to face him almost immediately, looking up at him through thick, roguish lashes, “Oh! Hotch says he wants the Oregon files done today, pretty boy,”

Because it couldn't be honey or baby or the other nice names she’d taken to calling him, but she could get away with the same name the entire team had called him for over ten years. 

Taking a final glance at her face that had chaos written all over it, Spencer held his tongue, looping the strap of his satchell over his head and gently placing it on his desk, his forest hues watching as she logged onto her computer, trying to keep her excitement subtle as she grinned into her keyboard clicks. 

Spencer Reid had learned quickly never to start something with that girl that he couldn’t finish. And yet, by a stroke of boldness and lust, he had gotten caught up in the whirlwind of their excursions. He had forgotten in between the soft touches and gentle kisses and soppy exchanges just how hellish she could be when she wanted. 

Shaking off whatever that look on her face meant, he rolled his draw out of his desk, the report he’d been half way through typing up laying where he had left it last night before Hotch had told them to wrap up for the day.

Pulling the manilla folder from his desk, he swore his heart leaped into his throat as a piece of thin, lacy fabric had appeared beneath his scribbles of handwriting, laughing at the look on his face when he spotted it sitting there in his drawer. 

He’d never seen her wear the satin, red thong before, but judging by the way his mind raced like a gelding let loose to conjure images of her in them, he didn’t seem to find it difficult imagining it. The lining was a gossamer mesh, small posies decorating the front in subtle detailing, but it was the floss-like string that trailed down the back that made him stutter, because there was no way that was covering anything important even if it tried. 

He heard a small giggle, and his head shot up to the offender, only catching the back of her head as she hid into her keyboard. He knew his cheeks were already flushing with poker hot flames, he felt them as much prickling and biting with heat, and he swore the shudder that ran down his spine was involuntary when he reached out to brush the fabric with his fingertip, testing the waters to see if there were really even there. Spencer’s jaw had slacked open uselessly, and she made it a mental note to tease him that she had finally been able to render the man who could tell her Thomas Edison’s childhood pets in alphabetical order speechless. 

“You alright, Spence?” JJ asked with concern lacing her fair brows, because her heels seemed to have made no sound as she had been walking by, unless they had and he’d been entirely wrapped up in his punishment to notice.

He slammed the drawer shut, loud enough to attract the attention of Morgan who was nose deep in his own report, and Spencer nearly cursed when his thumb got caught in between the pieces of wood, choosing to smash his lips together tightly instead and nod wordlessly.

“Something the matter, pretty boy?” Bugsy asked, feigning naivety as she swivelled around in her wheely chair, and he could do nothing but look at her with terrorred eyes, because he had hugely underestimated her with the can of worms idea. Though he couldn’t help but think that’s exactly what she’d opened in showing him that underwear. 

He wondered, in between thinking of excuses to give JJ as to why he had looked so disoriented, if she had a matching set. 

“T-tired,” He managed to bleat, his thumb throbbing where the pain had surged up his arm, and it seemed his pathetic justification half worked as JJ shot him wary eyes and a small smile, one that said she would let him off with that dumb response for now. 

Bugsy blinded him with a grin entirely cheshire, and she drew her file to her chest as she stood from her seat, following in JJ’s footsteps towards her boss’s office. 

“Oh, just so you know, I have it in black too,” She said almost too casually, sticking her head over his desk with a sly pull of her lips, as if she was doing nothing more than letting him know to expect rain in an hour or so. 

And he could do nothing but stare after her, his finger still aching from his mistake, begging himself not to take another peek at the divine material sitting just inches away from him. 

Spencer knew then, if he hadn’t figured it out already in the seven years he’d wanted her, that he was fucked.

2. The one where they almost get caught on a date.

She sipped the straw with a coy smile, the whipped cream and cherry only making the thick drink sweeter to the taste as he watched her intently. 

“Good?” He asked with a cottony mouth and her lips popped off the straw, her mouth exploding with strawberry goodness. 

“Gotta admit, it’s kind of living up to the ‘best milkshakes in town’” She replied swooping in to pop the glacé cherry between her painted lips as Spencer took a sip from his own double chocolate delight, not missing the way her eyes lit up as she crunched into the fruit. Pushing her cone shaped glass onto his side of the sticky wooden table, she gestured the straw his way, “Swaps?” 

He smiled, because he loved sharing his things with her. He might have found it annoying had it been anyone else because he had always had his things and other people’s things separate. He’d always kept his things to himself, not selfishly or maliciously, merely for the fact he liked having his own things uncontaminated. But with her it was different. Spencer would give her anything she wanted, which included a sip of milkshake here and there. His whole left leg if she asked.

Spencer’s almond curls fell over his forehead as he leaned down to sip the strawberry shake, sliding his own over to her awaiting hands, the cold glass moist with precipitate under his fingers. Yet he watched her, her lips pulling into a satisfied smile as she took a gulp, the two of them staring each other down with sickly sweet, adoring glances. 

“Good?” She repeated back to him, and he nodded, a large, broad hand reaching over the table to swipe a touch of whipped cream from her cheek, her skin soft and hot as hell under his advance. 

“Delicious,” He said, and without really thinking of the consequences, licked the cream from the tip of his thumb, his pink lips making a lewd smack as he did so. 

She watched him with hawk eyes, and he had a glowing sense of smugness as she shook her head to herself. 

“You’re not being fair,” She grumbled, huffing and slumping back in the squeaky diner seat, and his hand quickly chased hers over the table, grabbing it into a loving entwine of fingers and palms. 

“What’s not fair?” He asked, though the shit eating grin told her he knew exactly what he was doing and she nudged him with her sneaker for it. 

“You. Looking like a damn porn star drinking your milkshake.” She said, and he felt his cheeks twinge with a blush as she chuckled, squeezing their fingers together to tell him she was only joking. 

“Seems I’ve moved up in the world of explicit professions. First you called me a stripper, now I’ve been bumped up to porn star,” He teased, remembering the confusion that had written on her face the day they’d met. Spencer knew it had nothing to do with his freaky memory, he’d known she was special the second that door had opened, he knew everything Bugsy was committed to memory for the fact he couldn’t forget her even if he tried. 

She shrugged, a smirk on her lips, “What can I say, you’re a sought out man. You could charge double if you got Morgan in on it,” 

He laughed, shaking his head, “Only double?”

“Maybe throw in a Valentine’s day discount for your loving girlfriend,” She added with a million watt grin, and he rolled his eyes, hating how he could do nothing but indulge her when she was like this. 

“Ofcourse, I can't have pretty girls paying for things,” Spencer said, because he was somewhat confident now about flirting with her, knowing it would have the full desired effect and more. “Just out of interest, are we still talking about Morgan being involved?” 

“Well, I was going to give him the evening off to spend with his own girlfriend, but if you’re really so insistent-” He shot her a raised brow and she giggled, leaning forward to kiss the thumb that had been slowly stroking the back of her hand, “Always just me and you, honey,”

He smiled earnestly at that, and they exchanged a look that said those five words were much more set in stone than the teasing may suggest. Just them, always. Spencer could get used to that.

She leaned over the table for a quick peck on the lips because as much as she loved him, and god did she love him, they had quickly found they were just as embarrassed by affection in public as the other. 

“I’m going to use the bathroom before food comes,” She said, slipping out of the latex red seats, his head following her as she waltzed over to the loo, the two of them looking back at one another with small smiles like lovesick children. 

She loved the rhythm they had found, albeit the secrecy. It was nights like this, when they were able to act like a normal couple, when they were able to kiss and hold hands and flirt and look at each other with such heat it should have been public indecency, that she knew she wanted him forever. Because if this was how good it felt in private, she could only wonder how good it would be to tell people she was enamoured by one very handsome, very clever, Spencer Reid. Yet she loved having something for just them. In the lives of people who examined each other for a living, having secrets were like gold dust. Let alone a secret between profilers. That was pure jackpot material. 

He smiled into his lap, because he was truly happy for the first time in years. He had everything he’d ever wanted handed to him on a silver platter. He had the girl he’d loved for nearly seven years playing footsies with him while he eyed her lips and tried to analyse just how much she would hate being one of those couples that made out over milkshakes and burgers even if it was all he wanted to do. 

Spencer Reid had drawn the winning hand, no cheats or tricks or card counting needed. Just being him, awfully, nerdy, awkwardly him. 

He leaned in to take another sip of his milkshake, because they really were the best, only for his contented face to drop the second he saw four people walk through the door all smiles and fancy suits and heels, entirely unaware of what they were stumbling on. 

Spencer had never fumbled around his pockets for his phone faster, hitting the call button on her profile picture, which happened to be her asleep on the sofa with Sergio’s feet in her face while Niko peeked out at the camera from under the blanket, because Spencer thought it was possibly his favourite photo of their little family. She answered on the first ring, and he could just see the confusion written on her face before she even spoke. 

“Spence, I love you but I’m peeing right now, did you miss me that much-”

“Garcia and Morgan just walked in,” He whisper yelled, cupping his hand over the mic, whipping a look over his shoulder where their friends were standing at the host’s desk, waiting to be served. “They brought their partners, they’re staying in, we gotta go,”

Bugsy’s face tightened, her panties down to her ankles, Brittany Spears’ If You Seek Amy blasting in the women’s bathroom and she wondered, on bated breath, if this was exactly what her life had come to. 

“...Shit,”

“I’ll pay the tab and try to distract them now, you slip out and we’ll meet in the parking lot,” Spencer rushed, his brow sweating as he saw the waitress lead Morgan and Garcia’s new beau, Sam, over his way, no doubt towards the free booth next to them.

“Alright, I love you,” She quickly rushed, and he whispered it back, before the two of them hung up and realised just what a miracle it would be if the two of them got out of this undiscovered. 

Morgan’s dark eyes lit up in recognition as they neared their seats, just as Spencer grabbed her purse and stashed it under his shirt, dragging her milkshake over to his side of the table to make it seem like he was alone. Not the most convincing of cover ups, but it was all he had. 

“Pretty boy,” Derek called, and Spencer faked shock as best he could, though his mind was entirely consumed with whether or not Bugsy’s side of the plan was working out. 

“What are you guys doing here, I thought you were taking Savannah to that fancy place on fifth,” Spencer said, his gaze trailing behind his best friend to see Savannah and Penelope too wrapped up in chatting to catch up to the boys. Savannah turned to the woman with a polite smile, excusing herself for a moment and heading towards the bathroom. 

Shit. Spencer thought for a moment, watching the stunning vermillion dress trail off to the toilets, and Spencer was convinced then and there they were done for, Shit, shit, shit. 

Derek looked a little guilty, “You know how it is, man. We got home late from the case, missed our reservation, had to bring my lady to the next best thing. Patty’s.” Derek chuckled and Spencer smiled fleetingly, though Derek could tell it was bothered, “You here with someone-”

“Pretty boy!” Garcia cut Morgan off, bouncing over in her pretty Dorothy-red heels to where their genius was shuffling out of the booth, fidgeting with his hands nervously. “Are you here with someone, are we totally destroying your street cred?” 

“No, no. I’m here on my own, I had a hankering for milkshakes,” Spencer nodded convincingly with a taut smile as Penelope and Morgan simultaneously turned their heads to the two glasses half drunk on the table, before they looked at him with raised brows as if to wordlessly question his alibi, two milkshakes for one guy, Reid? Feeling their eyes on him, he baulked, “Like I said, hankering.”

Bugsy felt like this was some sort of Greek tragedy. 

After doing her business and washing her hands in possible record time,  Bugsy cracked open the door to the bathroom just enough to stick her head out, eyes scanning the restaurant for Penelope and Derek. She caught Penny’s Barbie blonde hair almost instantly, her sing song laugh travelling straight across the room into Bugsy’s ears and it was then she realised she was with a woman. The red dress spoke for itself, her hair was luscious and silky like she’d popped straight out a shampoo advert, her skin that of a bronze goddess, and she immediately clocked that it was Savannah, Derek’s new girlfriend, which made all the more sense when she caught their hunky co-worker talking to a very flustered Spencer. 

The girls had shamelessly stalked her instagram in Penelope’s lair at lunch just that week and sweet heavens was a catch, if not for her job as a nurse then for the toned figure Bugsy was convinced was god playing favourites. She stared at the back of the woman’s head, whatever she’d said making Penelope chuckle and turn towards her, her head pointing right towards where the women’s bathrooms were.

Bugsy slammed the door shut, quickly retreating back into the loo and yanking at her hair in a flurry of white hot panic. God, she hoped Penelope hadn’t seen her, or things were about to get ten times more difficult to explain why the two of them were out for a meal on Valentine’s Day, whilst claiming they were entirely platonic ofcourse. She wished the door had a window or she had X-ray vision or something-

A window. A window. That was it. 

Head whipping around, her eyes locked in on the two windows above each lavatory, the stall walls luckily low enough that she could see they were big enough for her to slide through if she was careful enough. 

Heading back into the cubicle she had been in, she shut the door behind her, and slammed the toilet lid down to give her a step. Her chest pounded, lips pursing when she cursed Derek and Penelope for possibly the only time in her life, because their date had been going so well. And yet here she was, cracking open a window in the diner’s toilets and she wondered for a second time if this was what her life had been reduced to. But Spencer was worth it, she told herself. She’d crawl through a million diner windows if it meant she got him all to herself. 

As if the universe was laughing at her, the second she’d swung the window open far enough for her to pull herself through, the bathroom door opened and she froze. 

Flashing a guilty look over her shoulder, her eyes widened in fear as she made direct eye contact with the woman who had entered, her lucious brown hair falling like silk over her shoulder as she stopped in her tracks, seeing the girl clear as day over the top of the stall. 

Bugsy prayed, on god’s she had never believed in she prayed that Savannah didn’t recognize her, though why would she. Unless she herself was a serial stalker. Though there seemed to be no hint of recognition in her eyes, just shock horror. 

A beat of silence passed between them. 

“Terrible date,” Bugsy said, thinking quickly on her feet and Savannah’s face melted into understanding. 

“Ah,” She nodded, “Is he a Catfish or is he a pig?” 

“Both,” Bugsy nodded with a tense smile, anything to get away from the situation where Penelope could walk in on any moment and catch her in the act. And it pained her to lie, because Spencer was the furthest thing from both of those things. 

Savannah rolled her eyes, “Sorry you have a crappy date on Valentine’s day, that sucks. Need a leg up?” 

“I’m good, thanks,” Bugsy said, standing on the cistern and yanking herself up, hoping she wasn’t flashing Derek’s girlfriend a nice shot of her ass. “You should try the calamari, it’s real good!” 

And with that she’d pulled herself through the window legs first, dropping onto the top of Patty’s garbage bins with a ‘urgh!’, hopping off the lid immediately and dodging a heinously large rat that eyed her up for desert and flicking Spencer a quick text to say she was by the car. 

Savannah chuckled with a shake of her head, heading to the toilet herself and hearing a loud bang and a curse from the other side of the wall.

Derek and Garcia watched him look down at his phone with a perturbed expression, “I really should be going anyways,” Spencer excused, his mind reeling at just how she’d managed to slip past the lot of them, though the text only read ‘Meet by car. Window.’ and he could only wonder just what the fuck she’d meant by that. 

“Are you sure we’re not interrupting, Spencer?” Garcia asked, and he only shook his head. 

“Nope, definitely not. The only date I’m late for is between me and Lord Tennyson,” He said, which was almost too on brand for him that they didn’t question it. Spencer nodded to her date and wished them all a good evening before rushing to the front desk, his card in hand as he asked quietly if they could get their burgers to go instead. 

Morgan’s eyes narrowed at his skittish behaviour, his fidgeting fingers that tugged at his shirt, the cufflinks his mom bought him for his graduation that he only wore on special occasions glittering under the swinging, overhead diner lights. 

“Is it just me or is boy wonder acting extra shifty just now?” Penelope muttered, her blonde brows furrowed behind her glasses as Morgan nodded in agreement, Savannah returning to their table with freshly washed hands, her lipstick spruced up in the bathroom mirror. 

“I was thinking the exact same thing, baby girl,” Derek smelled a rat as Reid took a brown paper bag from over the counter, flashing a swift nod back to them as he all but ran out of the restaurant, his long legs carrying him even faster than usual. 

He saw her dusting herself off by his car, and before he could even question what her message had been, she had turned her attention onto him with a spritely excitement and launched up to give him a hungry kiss to the lips. 

“I’m so sorry, I had no idea they were coming, they told me they were going uptown,” He said, his expression worried that their night had been ruined. He gripped their to go bag pathetically, and it was only then he realised she was laughing. 

“Spence it’s fine, it’s not your fault,” She reassured, pressing another delicate kiss to his face as if to ward off the negative thoughts, and he rested his free hand on her hip, trapping her between his body and the car. He pressed into her, letting himself enjoy the affection a little too much in the cover of nightfall, “We probably shouldn’t be-” He kissed her again, because he couldn’t help it, because it was like the adrenaline of almost being caught together had set his body on fire, “-doing this here though, maybe-”  Again, his hand shoving the bag of food onto the roof of his car so he had free reign to cup her face entirely, -”wait until we get home just incase they come looking for you,” 

He nodded dumbly, “Probably,” He agreed, though he watched her with those eyes that looked dark in the moonlight, pressed against her wanton hands that clawed at his chest, pulling him closer as an impossible oxymoron to her chaste words, because she didn’t want him to let go of her, not really. 

He kissed her again, hard, because his chest was still pounding from the close call and her fingers scraped his waist, the feeling jumping straight to his crotch that was already well aware of how close they had become. 

“I love you,” He said with a slight slur, idle from their affection and it was only then he opened his eyes to look at her. She looked impossibly more ravishing in the cloak of night, her eyes sparkling in the street lamps, her lips wet with his own spit, her gaze adoring and soppy and so in love, “I’m sorry if our Valentine’s day got ruined,”

“Ruined?” She said, slipping a hand into his back pocket to grab the car keys, leaning in to kiss his chin gently a couple times, “I get to spend the most romantic day of the year with my very hot boyfriend eating amazing burgers and making out on the couch until the sun comes up,” 

He smiled, cheeks warmer than the freshly cooked beef steaming through the paper bag, and he couldn’t resist shooting a hand out to stop her from rounding the car to the passenger side, grabbing her jaw in one fell swoop, lifting her head to attach their lips once more, ‘one for the road’ he would excuse when he let her go, and he felt her smile into his affection. They let go with a sweet smack, and the second they did her mouth watered for more. 

“That really is the best Valentine’s Day,” He agreed, swapping the car keys in her hands for the food and walking round to her side to open the door for her like a gentleman. 

And that was exactly how it went. Until making out turned into more, more kisses, more intimate, more parts of themselves bared to one another for the first time, and they sat in naked silence afterwards, enjoying each other's body heat until their eyes got heavy and they fell asleep. 

And Bugsy swore she would love Spencer Reid with every part of her he’d touched until the day she died. 

3. The one with the fake boyfriend.

Spencer was pouring kibble when she screamed. The bag was all but spilled over the kitchen tiles as his head shot up, his entire body diverting to the direction of her yell, and before he even had time to put the bag down, perhaps step over the two shadows that dived for the rogue biscuits tumbling to the floor, he heard her footsteps tearing from their room and into the kitchen. 

Because it was their room now. Not just his. 

She wore black pants and a tight, white shirt with her buttons only half fastened shut. His eyes shamelessly dropped straight to her chest, a black lace bra staring back at him and he couldn’t help but be reminded of the week before, wondering for a second if they had a spare half an hour before work. 

It had been eight days since they’d had sex for the first time, and the two of them were struggling all the more to keep it together. He was like a man starved of oxygen, she was a woman let out of a cage, craving one another more than they had ever thought possible. Because before he hadn’t been given that taste of sweet heaven, hadn’t known every inch of her the way he did now, and Spencer thought he might not be able to ever know anything more intoxicating than how she looked in his bed when she-

He was quick to put his hands over her cheeks as she panted, horror in her gaze as she held her phone in her hand, damn near shaken for words, “What? What is it?” 

“Oh god, I think I’m going to be sick,” She murmured, her eyes never tearing away from her phone screen, and he promptly took the device out from her grasp, his hazel hues roving over the bright light. 

His lips parted, and he felt his stomach flurry into life as he saw the raunchy photo she’d taken of her lingerie, their shared bathroom in the background and what looked to be a toothbrush in the top of the photo, clearly having been in the middle of brushing when she’d taken the photo in the mirror. 

His gaze went to the top of the screen, because he certainly hadn’t heard his phone buzz on the counter, nor would it have been such an issue if she had sent it to him, though he suspected he was the intended recipient anyway.

Spencer frowned, “Who’s MILF?”

Bugsy looked at him guiltily. “It’s JJ.” She said through a cottonmouth. 

“You know what that word means right?” He said, and she rolled her eyes because of course he was focusing on all the wrong things, though she guessed that was down to his tented trousers and the rouge that crawled up his neck into the apple of his cheeks because Spencer always found an excuse to cram silences with words.

“Yes, don’t worry, you’re the only one I want to ilf for real.” She said, a hand running through her hair in panic as she looked over his shoulder at the text conversation.

“Can’t you just delete it?” Spencer asked, his eyes scanning the photo again because it certainly would have made his morning receiving a photo like that. 

“Not on messenger, not when- oh fuck, fuck, fuck,” Bugsy’s voice got louder with every with every curse, and she ripped the phone from his hand when the three little dots appeared, letting her know JJ was in fact typing. Spencer was knocked from his daze staring at the photo, realising that JJ was a profiler just like any of the rest of them, and she could very easily figure out who that photo had been meant for, “She’s typing, she’s typing!”

Spencer took a deep breath for both of them, his hands resting on her upper arms in gentle motions, “Alright, let’s just calm down, she might just be a little confused, I mean you don’t usually send her photo’s like that do you?” He said soothingly, only for her to let out a small screech, and he saw ‘incoming call from MILF’ written in bright white across the top of the screen, “Okay, I’m begging you to change that name, that is so weird thinking of JJ as-”

“SPENCER,” She barked, handing him the phone, “I can’t speak right now, I don’t know what to say, I’ll screw it all up,”

His eyes widened, ushering her hand back to her ear, “I can’t answer it, then she’ll know we’re together while you look like- like that,”

“We live together, I don’t think I’ve worn pants here once in the past five years,” She whisper yelled to him, the ringing going on only longer with every dial thrumming right to her already racing heart, “Oh god, I’m gonna answer it, I’m going to- Good morning, Jennifer, how’s the oatmeal in the Jareau-LaMontagne household?”

“Please tell me that photo was meant for a guy. Or atleast Penelope,” JJ’s voice was full of surprise, and Bugsy already knew she had her fingers rubbing her eye sockets, “Are you seeing someone?”

“Uh, y-yeah?” Bugsy stammered, exchanging a wide eyed glance with Spencer, “A guy from�� a bar! I’m seeing a guy from a bar,”

“Oh, Bugsy, why didn’t you say?” JJ asked with a girlish delight, and Bugsy shrugged before she remembered JJ couldn’t see that, and she had to think on her feet for a response.

“It’s just casual- it’s new and totally casual right now,” She stammered, hoping the lie was convincing enough that JJ wouldn’t poke for more answers. But it was JJ, the same JJ who loved filling Emily’s shoes as big sister when she was away, and ‘totally casual’ seemed to not make the cut for explanations. 

“Is he cute, how old is he?” JJ rebutted as she submerged Henry’s empty cereal bowl in the sink full of soapy water, pressing the phone between her shoulder and ear.

The girl’s gaze trailed over Spencer’s face, where he had gone deadly silent to listen in on their conversation. He flashed her a devilish grin at JJ’s mothering tone, and she shyly looped a finger through his belt.

“The cutest,” Bugsy replied, with a small beam, and she watched Spencer’s gaze turn doting and sweet. And that time, she hadn’t been lying.

–

“Oh come on, I want to meet this guy,” JJ said, bringing her coffee cup up to her lips. It wasn’t even that Emily had asked her to look after Bug the first time she’d left for Paris, then again when she left for London, that made her so protective. Moreso that fact Bugsy was a little sister if she’d ever had something close to one. Being the youngest herself, she knew what it was like to live in her own sister’s shadow, a feeling that had followed her around her entire life. 

If JJ was missing Emily, she knew Bug was feeling the same tenfold.

Either way, the second they’d gotten into the office all of three days ago after the incident, JJ hadn’t stopped badgering her about her new secret fling she had.

“He’s busy, super super busy,” She brushed her off and Spencer smirked into his book, his desk chair turned away from where JJ leaned against her desk. Penelope’s heels clicked against the BAU floor as she wandered over to them, a steaming mug of tea in her own hand.

“Who’s super super busy?” She asked, cutting in half way through the conversation to hear only half of the story, and Bugsy shied away into her lap. 

“Bugsy’s secret boyfriend,” JJ raised her brows at the woman who almost dropped her mug, her jaw hitting the floor as she looked at the girl incredulously.

“Did my ears just deceive me? Have you been hiding something from me, cause you know I’ll hack into your social media before you could even say Barbie Dream House,” Penelope said with an aghast expression. 

“He’s just a guy I met at a bar, it’s not a big deal,” She brushed them off, already digging the lie deeper, and she only could hope the reward would be a bigger pay out when she thought back the night after the restaurant. 

She’d tell them anything if it meant she could spend another night like that. 

“Not a big deal?” JJ said doubtfully, flicking a look at the girl, “Come on, I want to meet the guy who’s the best sex you ever had,” 

Spencer slammed his book shut, and twirled around in his office chair with just enough time to watch her groan, and bury her face in her hands. 

“What was that?” He asked, his eyes lit up with a boyish excitement as he resisted the urge to smirk at her, because he felt the glare before he’d even seen it. 

“Nothing,” She snapped at him, eyes laced with an unspoken warning for him to watch his step because they weren’t stupid enough to ignore his sudden interest in her lovelife, “Don’t you have a report due?”

He shrugged with rosy cheeks, his expression that of barely concealed delirium as he watched her flush under the pressure of his prideful grin. 

“You know me, I’ll catch up on that later, let’s talk about this new thing you have,” He brushed off, just as Rossi paced past their mother’s meeting, heading for the roundtable room. 

“We have a case, kids. Life waits for no man, no matter how juicy his gossip,” David said profoundly as ever, and the four of them rose to follow behind him like a trail of ducklings. Penelope’s heels clicked at his side, and she cast a quick glance over her shoulder at where JJ was interrogating their youngest agent some more. 

“You want the 411?” She mumbled, and the old man sighed, watching the girl's floral hair ties bounce with her pigtails at every step. 

“Shoot. Wife number one ruined Real Housewives for me, I guess I need something good,” Rossi said with tired eyes, as Penelope scooched closer. 

“Bugsy has a new secret boyfriend,” The bubbly woman said in between a million watt grin.

He raised his eyebrows at her, flicking a quick look back at the girl who looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her whole when JJ pushed her for details on their first date. 

“No kidding,” He murmured, tilting his head in consideration how he hadn’t seen the signs, he knew well enough now to know the look of a honeymoon phase. He’d had about fifty of them. 

“Still awaiting details on how he looks, but I reckon a quick deep dive in her socials will get me what I want,” Penelope added as if putting together a report on an UnSub, though the tech wizz would argue mystery man was just as much a person of interest than any of the others they went after. 

He looked at her for a moment, her chirpy tone almost a dichotomy of the invasive stalking she was revving herself up for, and he nearly stopped in his tracks for a second. 

“Remind me to never get on your bad side,” He said, with a serious undertone, shaking his head, “I’d hate to be the guy on the end of your wirey maze, Garcia,”

But Spencer’s smile had yet to be wiped from his face, in fact he thought he might just get JJ to say it again into a microphone because the ego boost was set to last a lifetime. 

He promised he’d make it up to her for the annoyingly arrogant attitude he was sporting, but then any man with half a brain would if he’d been told he was the best she’d ever had, let alone one with a brain that had already engraved the sound of that into his hypothalamus. 

And Spencer knew just how he was going to say sorry. 

–

“Wait, so does this mean that your new hypothetical boyfriend is better than Sean?” Penelope said through the screen as they lounged on the jet on the way home from the case. Hotch’s head shot up from where he was reading the newspaper, and he couldn’t even bring himself to look at the youngest agent before he had practically thrown himself out of his seat. 

“I’m going for coffee,” He said before anyone could interject and the sight of their boss all but running down the aisle towards the kitchenette made her throw her head in her hands once more. 

“I’m begging you, never make me talk about sex infront of Hotch ever again,” She groaned, and Rossi huffed, clamping his own book shut and shuffling past them to meet where Aaron was spending almost too much time with his head in the cupboard, “Better yet, don’t make me talk about sex with his brother infront of him again,” 

“For the record, old man number two doesn’t want to hear about who jiggles your Jimmies either,” He grumbled, and Bugsy carded her fingers through her hair, too embarrassed to look at the two men that cowered in the back of the jet. 

“Jiggles your Jimmies?” Blake repeated, her brow furrowing, “At least, I’m not that old,” 

“Stop avoiding the question, Princess,” Penelope chided, and Morgan laughed as Bugsy huffed, turning her head away as if she hadn’t heard, “Is he?” 

“That’s usually what ‘the best I’ve ever had’ means, Pen,” She snipped through blazing cheeks, and she could feel the smug-shit eating grin coming from Spencer before she’d even looked at him, “Now, could we talk about literally anything else, please?”

There was a lapse of silence where Morgan exchanged a look with JJ, and the blonde picked under her nail, trying to think of anything else to say before she cracked, because it was rare that Bugsy ever sought anyone out so fondly. 

And possibly because she knew Emily would need the complete, padded out, full update when JJ inevitably called her to rinse her with details. 

“How many kids does he want?” The words fell from JJ’s mouth, not really thinking much about the way Reid’s face was claret red. He had never liked lewd conversations. 

And he wanted to blurt out three, as many as possible, as many as she wants and then another one, but he couldn’t because that would inevitably give their secret away completely. 

“Does he have a stable job?” Blake chimed in, ever the mother considering if the mystery man would be a practical partner, “Is he gentle? Angry men make for terrible fathers,”

“Is he gentle in bed?” Penelope added, her glasses glinting in the light of her computer screen, “Does he do the thing where he-”

Bugsy growled, half way between a groan and a scream, looking between her team with wide eyes, “You’re all perverted, hedonistic, gossip girls, and I beg you leave this alone before I join Hotch and Rossi in the cupboards,” 

“Cupboards are full,” Hotch barked, almost warningly because he didn’t think he could look at her until the subject of her and Sean banging was entirely out of his head. 

And they went quiet again, seeming to take the hint that Bugsy didn’t appreciate their poking. Morgan gave her an apologetic yet amused smile as he slipped his headphones on, Blake pulled out a puzzle book, JJ retired to her side of the couch for a moment of shut eye, though her brain was filled with what she guessed Emily would say about her little sister having a real life boyfriend. 

God help the kid who tries screwing that psycho over. 

Spencer smiled dopily into his book, his hands gripping the leather bound spine tightly, and it was the first time she’d looked at him the whole plane ride. His chest puffed as he met her with a cocky smile that he barely tried to hide, and he swiftly received a kick to the shin for his rare ego. 

But he didn’t care, the sting in his leg all but none existent because she hadn’t been too cruel with her chastising, and he couldn't wait to kiss the anger out of her the second they were alone. He loved her temper, loved her fire and the warmth it gave him, and he thought then there wasn’t a single thing about her that he wished to change. Even if the scowl and pout on her face didn’t exactly suit her. 

His smile was blinding the entire way home, even when they hopped into his car, and he looked at her with ill-concealed excitement, “Better than Sean?” Spencer asked, hopefully, and she tutted, swatting his thigh. 

“Spencer,” She hissed, though his eyes didn’t leave her, waiting for a response, “Fine, yes, better than Sean. Best I’ve ever had, right?” 

Spencer all but pranced up the stairs into their apartment ready to live up to his new moniker. 

4. The one where someone finds out.

“Can I borrow your deodorant?” Bugsy asked, as she slowly slipped a piping hot cup of coffee onto Penelope’s desk, making sure not to spill so much as a drop over the edge of the cute octopus mug.

“Oh, of course!  I always have something spare for my girls.” The tech wizz was quick to fish through her bag for the aerosol, handing it to the woman as she snuck a hand under her armpit to apply. “You ever need tampons, a box of cookies, or prescription painkillers, Garci is your gal. Though preferably don’t tell Hotch about that last one,” 

Bugsy smiled, “You’re an angel,” She said, as she sprayed herself quickly, “I left my stuff in, uh, secret boyfriend’s car. If you got a spare bra lying around your bag, you’d really be a life saver,”

Penelope’s eyes turned catlike as she narrowed them at the girl, “I said I’m your gal, not Mary Poppins,” She replied, looking up at Bugsy with a smug smile as she played with the fluffy end of her pen, “So, you guys hook up in his car or something?” 

Bug pressed her lips together tightly, wondering whether she could let too much slip to the woman who was known for tracking her friends’ phones like they were damn Sim characters on the loose. And despite their relationship being so top secret, it had been five months of sneaking around. Five months of keeping her smiles and butterflies and silly little notions of just how great Spencer was entirely free from girl talk. She knew the moment they told their team, there would be questions and rumours across departments. There would be prodding and interrogating and paperwork to fill out with Hotch, and they more than likely wouldn’t be allowed to be in the field together. 

Which brought her an even more worried thought. What if she was forced to move teams? 

Spencer certainly wouldn’t be the one to move, he had practically made a home in the BAU before any of them even knew she existed. And despite the fact they felt more like a family to her than the houses in every country ever had, she would leave them if it meant Spencer could stay. 

It was different with JJ and Will. They were together, yes, had been in the field together once or twice, but it wasn’t as if they were on the same team, liable to letting their relationship muddy the waters of worklife. She wasn’t entirely sure what the rules were of relationships in the team, and she knew Hotch would become suspicious almost instantly  if she asked; knew she could only lie to him for so long about this so called secret boyfriend before he became overbearingly fatherlike and weaselled his way into her head with those stern eyes and that patient law degree. 

She nodded after considering spilling her thoughts out to Penelope, because as much as she loved Spencer and loved that he was her best friend even before he was her boyfriend, she missed girl talk. The same girl talk he had no idea how to navigate, that was a complete mystery to him with its hidden politics and rules that he was convinced were purposely made up to confuse guys so they wouldn’t be able to figure out what women were talking about. She missed having someone there to hear just how Spencer would stroke her hair before they went to sleep, when her eyes were closed and her breathing was slowly evening out and he thought she was already dozing, when she would glance at him through bleary eyes because she knew he would be watching her, his eyes wide and fat with love as he looked at her like he was a kid seeing his Christmas presents lined up neatly beneath the tree. She wanted someone else to know how he managed to make her coffee perfectly, how he would wake up five minutes before her, drag himself out of bed to brush his teeth and cook her breakfast at the weekends, how she was trying harder to stay tidy for his sake because she saw the way he cleaned her messes up for her without complaints or grumbles. Bugsy wanted someone else to know that he would kiss her like she was going to be ripped away from him at any given moment, and that she melted into a puddle at his feet when he asked to shower with her just last week and they got to spend forty minutes under the relaxing hot water, just holding each other close enough to feel every breath and smile and laugh and everything else they ended up doing when they were naked. 

She loved having him all to herself, truly. Yet there was part of her that wanted to scream to the entire office the second there was a lull in conversation that she was in love with him more truly, deeply, insatiably than she had ever imagined anyone could be. 

Penelope squealed, kicking her legs and pulling her second wheely chair out for Bugsy to sit down in, “Tell me everything, were you in the back or the front? Oh my god were you in the trunk, can you imagine that? Didn’t the seat belts get in the way? What about the handbrake? And the wheel-”

Bugsy laughed with a shake of her head, but she obliged her anyway as she threw herself into the seat, if not for a spare five minutes of relaxing before she started her paperwork. 

“Slow down! I’ll give you three questions, tops, and that’s all you’re getting out of me, Garcia,” She chuckled, cracking open her Dr Pepper can and taking a sip of the cold fizz. 

“Three?” Garcia cried incredulously, “You’re like a genie in a bottle only you withhold secrets instead of granting wishes,” 

“I can make it two if you want, smartass,” Bugsy teased, and she giggled at the way Penelope glared at her, like she was ready to lay one of her perfectly manicured nails around her throat and wrangle her for the truth in a rare bout of Penelope Garcia rage.

“Okay, umm, first question,” Penelope held a finger up, pressing her peach painted lips together because she only had three magic wishes, “What was it like, your guys first time?” 

Bugsy smiled, melting inside because speaking to Spencer about how good he was in bed seemed like a little too on the nose even for her, and she’d kept it hidden for god knows how long, “It was good, but not just good in that way. Although believe me it was good in that way too,” She said with a bashful giggle, her cheeks heating on impact and Penelope squealed, “I felt safe, and he kept telling me he loved me, and when we were done he went to the store and bought me strawberry milk because I told him it was my favourite,” 

Penelope’s eyes melted into puppy dog ones, her lips pulling to reveal her pearly white smile and she quietly ‘aww’ed at the sentiment, her brows tugging together in earnest joy as she watched Bugsy flick the metal tab of the can lid to avoid eye contact. 

“What an angel, who did you pay to find you this guy?” Penelope asked and the girl’s chuckled together. She rocked side to side on her desk chair, mid thought of her very important question, “Alright, alright, next one! Have you told Spencer yet?”

Bugsy froze, flicking a look to Penelope because surely there was no way she could have guessed from that short exchange. She knew Garcia was a hotshot behind a screen, but she would have to be given a spot as a profiler if she’d managed to figure out just from that one question who it was she was trying so desperately to keep a secret.

 “What do you mean?” She said, trying to hide the way her throat had run dry, and Penny looked at her as if she had lost a few brain cells in the midst of the honeymoon phase. 

“I mean, it sounds like you guys spend a lot of time in your room. Spence surely must have crossed paths with him by now?” Garcia clarified, and Bugsy’s brows lifted in what she hoped was well concealed panic. 

“Yes- yes,” She cleared her throat, wishing the stuttering away as she scrambled to cover her tracks, “Spencer has met him, he said he’s a great guy, real baseball whizz,” 

‘Great guy’ didn’t quite cut it, she thought with a chiding voice in her head, but she was sure Spencer would forgive her with a small bat of her lashes, a sweet kiss even. She even thought of a way that would convince him just how sorry she was for limiting him to just the word great, because he was so much more than that to her; she thought of an apology, one where he would be so smitten and drunk on kisses and other things that she could tell him he was the dumbest boy alive and he wouldn’t care. 

Because she was all his, loved him far beyond ‘great’ and the idea of that alone cut his IQ from 187 to a mere 5 on a good day. 

Penelope smirked, like she knew a sudden shortcut in her system, “Remind me to interrogate Reid later about this ‘Home Run’ you’re bringing over for bang bang,” 

Bugsy snickered, making a mental note to remind Spencer where he suddenly fell in her lie, when in truth she had been thinking about the time he’d subbed for someone on Morgan’s team. She’d been thinking about how proud he looked, how he’d smiled for days after, how Morgan and Hotch picked him up and screamed with happiness at their younger agent, but she definitely hadn’t been thinking about how his hair had looked sweaty and full of curls on his neck, hadn’t at all been thinking that his face looked that extra bit kissable when he laughed. 

If it had been Emily, she might have been screwed. She swore her sister could sniff out a lie from her like a bloodhound to a body. It was why she had always been caught sneaking out, always been caught smoking blunts behind the shed, it was why Emily knew for a blatant fact whether she was really sick when she’d claimed she was too ill to go to school. If it had been Emily, she would have been six feet under for that small white lie alone, but Garcia wasn’t Emily. And so Garcia believed her. 

“Oh, third question, you guys are being like, safe right?” Penelope said, with rare concern swirling in her dark brown eyes, and Bugsy sighed with a knowing smile, because it felt like the team did nothing but mother her nowadays, “Because as much as I would love to be an aunt all over again, I don’t think the world is ready for a baby Bugsy,”

“I know what I’m doing, Pen. My IUD doesn’t run out for another couple years, we’re totally fine,” She replied, subconsciously running a thumb over the inner part of her arm where the rod lay under her skin until she felt the odd poking of the device. Spencer had insisted he wore a condom the first few times just to be extra cautious, had begun to tell her the fact sex was only safe 99 percent of the time with an IUD alone before she had kissed him to politely and lovingly tell him to stop overthinking things. However they had run out after the sixth time, and instead of stopping to go run out and get more, he’d decided perhaps they would be safe enough, or perhaps he had stopped caring the second she took her clothes off. 

Penelope grinned, pretending to wipe her brow, “Okay, phew. If you ever need anything, I’m talking condoms, lube, maybe you guys are getting it on and you realise you’re out of batteries for your-”

“Ah,” Bugsy winced, sticking her fingers in her ears and hopping out of her seat to head for the door, the feeling that Penelope was toeing the line of boundaries the way she usually did only this time she was unknowingly talking about Spencer, “Thankyou, Garcia, however I’m going to get going, breakfast is calling, and Dr Pepper is not cutting it this morning,” She said backing away towards the door, looking at the bubbly blonde who watched her go with a cunning smile. Because Penelope always meant well, even if she trampled over boundaries sometimes, or lacked the perfect words to say, she always had the best of intentions, and for a moment the guilt tugged at Bugsy’s stomach for being so abrasive in leaving. 

“As long as you’re being safe, I am happy to know you’re getting some,” The woman brushed off, whirling around her desk to log into her software, her manicured nails clicking against her keyboard at the speed of light. 

Pausing with her hand on the door knob, she looked back at Penelope with softened eyes, a small dose of sentiment trickling into her tone, “Pen?” She said in a quiet voice and Garcia stopped, looking back to the youngest agent with wondering eyes, “Don’t ever change,”

And with that she left to grab herself a coffee, because the guilt of keeping secrets was too much for the early morning.

–

She saw him coming mid way through lunch, Penelope tucked behind Morgan’s desk, stirring a spoonful of peanut butter into her oatmeal pot, steam whirling from the container with a sweet scent. Morgan leaned against Bugsy’s workspace, his arms crossed over his chest as the two of them chattered, Bugsy picking at a punnet of fat, red grapes. 

Spencer came down the stairs, his eyes already trained on her the second he’d left Rossi’s office after handing some files over to the veteran agent, and he fought the small blush away from the apples of his cheeks. Because even after five months of calling her his girlfriend, just the sight of her glancing up at him with that look in her eyes had him bashful.

His hand dived into his bag before he could forget, a rare and near impossible occurrence for him only he’d found he had the tendency to get sidetracked when she was around, usually looking at her expressive face when she was talking, or getting lost in the light scent of her hair that wafted over to him, watching the way her hands fiddled with her stationary when she was thinking. Bugsy made Spencer Reid forget things, and it was for that reason he knew she wasn’t like anyone he’d ever met before, not that he needed reminding of it. 

“Here you go, you left your deodorant in my car,” Spencer exclaimed, producing a pink can from his satchell and handing it over to her with little thought to the chaos those ten words had created. 

Because Spencer had unknowingly just set off a time bomb, one that threatened five months worth of covert operations. Unintentionally, ofcourse, because those five months had been just as hard on him. He had just been excited to see her. 

Bugsy felt herself go a sickly colour, felt her stomach drop and the wind whoosh from her lungs at the sound of it and her head whipped to Garcia before she could think to be even the littlest bit subtle, because never had there been a clue about their little secret so blatant and open for the taking. 

And as if that hadn’t been the nail in the coffin, as if the small look of confusion that washed over Penelope’s face hadn’t given away the small feeling of puzzle pieces slotting together in that wonderfully big brain of hers, Spencer plonked a drink from the cafe down the street on her desk. 

It was a pink liquid, thin and sickly looking, with a whipping of fresh cream on top, and a glacé cherry to make it look extra delicious. 

“I got you a strawberry milk as well because I know you wanted one last night,” He said, a helpful smile on his face as he slid it over the table to her. It wasn’t the brand that she loved, or the Nesquik powder she kept stashes of in their cupboards, but he knew she would devour it nonetheless. 

And yet she didn’t look at him with that loving gaze like she usually did when he brought her presents. Didn’t throw him a ‘thankyou’ dipped in hidden affection, or a small squeeze of his hand that they usually could get away with because they’d always been affectionate. 

Instead, the second the words had left his mouth, her eyes went so wide he saw the whites of her sclera, saw her pupil shrink as her head jerked around to Penelope who sat in Morgan’s desk chair, the oatmeal in her hands shaking as she lifted her dirty spoon to point at the young woman. 

“Pen-” Bugsy started with a warning tone, the panic laced in her words that were quickly overtaken by Penelope’s voice yelling, her eyes equally as peeled back wide with horror.

“OH! OH! You- YOU- And the- and the milkshake- and you said- OH,” Penelope screeched flicking her porridge covered utensil like a teacher pointing at a naughty student, and she was quick to turn her attention to Reid, “AND YOU! YOU- OH GOD-” 

“Woah, woah, what’s with the yelling, baby girl?” Morgan asked earnestly, holding his hands up in surrender to the woman who had cut through the working silence of the office, some of the other agents lifting their heads from their work to see what the commotion was about. Even Hotch had shot a look to the BAU floor from his office, and judging by the annoyed look on his face as he stood up from his desk, they didn’t have a whole load of time to shut Penelope up before Hotch began demanding answers.

This was it, Bugsy told herself. This was the moment she’d been dreading, when they would be outed to the whole office, not even getting to decide when or what they told the team that could soften the blow of a cover story so huge. The moment when Hotch would likely get her to put in a transfer form by the end of the week with a slap on the wrist.

But she wasn’t ready to leave; Bugsy didn’t want to be anywhere that wasn’t with her team, even if there was a grey area in the rules about what she and Spencer could and couldn’t do in the field. 

And so she sprung towards Penelope, a hand grabbing the arms of the wheely chair Penelope sat on, looking the woman dead in the eye. 

“Hey, Pen, quick question about IT for you, I think we should head to your office, don’t you?” She said quickly, already rolling the woman back towards her lair with frantic eyes while Penelope hopped between five trains of thought, her oatmeal all but slipping from her hands, “Spence, get the door for me would you?”

“And Spencer- you said Spencer spoke to him- you said-” Garcia muttered on like she’d opened pandora’s box and peered inside to see the great wonders of the universe and returned a madwoman, her words only made more dramatic by the way she pointed in Spencer’s face as he passed by them, his own expression curved into worry as he’d quickly clicked what the tech whizz was babbling about, “BASEBALL, SPENCER- SHE SAID YOU LIKED BASEBALL-”

“Okay, am I missing something or was that an extra dose of weird and wonderful from Garcia this morning?” Blake said with narrowed eyes as the genius boy held the door open and Bugsy wheeled a yelling Garcia down the hallway to her office, the youngest agent with an oddly harsh tone as she shushed the woman. 

“Pen, I’ll explain-”

“But you- YOU!” 

“Shhh!” 

“Something’s ruffled her feathers, I can tell you that for free,” Morgan said, his eyes trailing Spencer as he strolled behind the bickering women, tucking his hair behind his ear worriedly, “That right there was a level nine Garcia freakout,” 

JJ’s brow creased, as Hotch headed down the stairs towards the trio, all too aware of the commotion Penelope’s yelling had caused while the rest of the office attempted to settle back into their reports. But it seemed everyone’s eyes trailed after the three agents heading towards Penelope’s office, watching the car crash of a moment through the freshly cleaned windows as Pen tried speaking, though yelling may be a better term for it, and Bugsy barked at her to calm down. 

“What’s level ten?” The blonde asked, her arms crossed over her chest, and Morgan shook his head.

“You don’t wanna know,”

–

“YOU TWO ARE SEXING LIKE BUNNIES AND YOU DIDN’T TELL US?” Penelope all but yelled the second Spencer shut the door behind him, and Bugsy ran a hand over her face out of embarrassment, her cheeks hot and painfully tingly. 

“Penelope, would you please keep your voice down, okay, this isn’t a big deal-” Spencer tried to interject, his palms out in a non threatening manner like level nine Garcia was an unsub they were trying to subdue. The older woman looked at him wide eyed, as if he’d just told her the sky was falling, and her mouth dropped in aghast. 

“Not a big deal- NOT A BIG DEAL? Spencer Reid, two of my best friends are screwing around in his car- your car- and you mean to tell me to calm down?” Penelope shrieked, and Spencer wondered for a moment if he was getting yelled at or she really was just that shocked, “I mean, this is groundbreaking, like more groundbreaking than the Anniston-Pitt-Joley affair, you guys are messing around right under our noses- this is like the talk of the century-” 

“W-we’re not just messing around, Garcia,” Spencer spluttered, scratching at his neck awkwardly, “I mean not that that stuff isn’t great, cause, god, of course it is,” He looked at Bugsy who smiled with an unnatural shyness, rubbing at her mouth with an anxious touch, “But it’s not just that, I really-really love her,” 

Bugsy thought she might have just melted on the spot there and then as she looked at him over her shoulder, a meek simper spreading across her face and she flicked a look back to Penelope with pleading eyes. 

“I know it’s a lot to take in, and I know it's sudden,” She said quietly, and for once Penny listened, because it was like the air had shifted to accommodate the gooey feeling of love between the youngest agents, “But he’s right, it’s not just fooling around, Pen, we’re just being us. And we wanted to keep it that way a little while,”

If there was one thing about Penelope that Bugsy knew would tug on her heart strings, was that Pen, at her core, was a romantic. She gushed over the kisses in the rain, the soppy proposals, the cheesy love confessions. And judging by the way her horror seemed to have melted away, she was entirely right, because it left behind a sparkly look in her eye that flicked between the two of them, like she was a kid watching the prince get the princess for the first time all over again. 

“Wait, so you guys are like, in love love, like wedding bells and a white picket fence with kids in the yard and all that?” Bugsy grinned, feeling Spencer’s arm lay over her shoulder, pulling her close to his side, and in a rare moment of PDA, she looked up at him with the full extent of her adoring gaze. 

“I’m vetoing the white fence, but I guess so,” She said with crude humour, and he smiled down at her, raising his brows and almost instantly they’d flung back into how it was when it was just the two of them at home. 

“Vetoing the fence? How are the kids going to play in the yard, we’ll be raising a small horde of them,” He quipped back, and she laughed, burying her face in his chest as Penelope watched with fascinated interest how they fit together the same way they always had and yet now they were suddenly different. Glowing. Golden. 

“I was thinking more of a flock but okay-”

“Are you kidding me?” Pen interjected, her tone exasperated and sweet, besotted with the sight of the youngest agents poring over one another unapologetically and she felt like slapping herself silly because how had they not noticed before. “I take it back, you guys aren’t Pitt and Joley, you’re- you’re William and Kate, you’re Neeson and Richardson, you’re just,” She sighed dreamily as the two of them glanced at her with coy smiles, entirely exposed in their sickeningly loved up stupors, “Meant to be,” 

They looked at eachother, because Pen had hit the nail on the head, the fact they’d danced around one for so long that it felt like they had always been made for one another the second they’d kissed that day in her room. Bugsy couldn’t imagine a life without Spencer in it, didn’t think she started existing really until he came knocking on her door in search of a translator. Spencer never believed in god or heaven or angels, but he knew whatever it was that had sent her to him when he was ten feet below his rock bottom, was something even a man so smart as him couldn’t explain.

Bugsy grinned toothily at the tech whizz, pointing a reprimanding finger in her direction, “You can’t tell Morgan, this is top secret,” 

Penelope’s mouth dropped its smile almost instantly in moral offence, “Wait, what? But I always tell big daddy everything,” 

Spencer face scrunched in bafflement, his lips moving before he could stop them; “Big Daddy?”, whilst Bugsy brushed off the nickname almost too unsurprised at the woman’s words.

“Please, Pen, pleeeease,” She begged, her eyes round and wide with a pleading expression that made her seem ten years younger, and Penelope looked like she was ready to crack within mere seconds , “We’ll tell everyone soon, I promise, just please give us a few more weeks to figure things out,”

And Garcia showed signs of crumbling. Not that Spencer could blame her, because Bugsy could get anything she wanted from people when she really tried. He liked to think of it as her sixth sense, sometimes wondered if she had some sort of mind control over him that she hadn’t told him about because he seemed to bend and sway to her whims almost too easily, and it was almost comforting to see Garcia facing the same struggle as she huffed, turning away from the puppy eyes that stared into her soul. 

Penelope sighed, pouting a little at the fact she’d been given an explicit instruction to hide something from Morgan, the very idea of which setting her in a dampened mood. Yet she glanced back at the two agents that held onto each other like they were awaiting lottery results, their imploring eyes trained on her and patiently holding out for a response, knowing she was the only person in the whole world who had the power to put an end to their hypothetical romcom montage they’d been swept up in for months. She bet to herself for a moment that they would have some kind of cheesy seventies or eighties hit playlist running behind all of their hidden moments and secret affections, might have Cindi Lauper’s Time After Time running when they had their first kiss, She’s Always a Woman by Billy Joel when they danced in the kitchen at breakfast. 

Penelope Garcia was nothing but a hopeless romantic, and it was for that reason that she rolled her eyes with a wry smile, and Bugsy’s chest deflated with relief, her expression lighting up with joy, that Spencer was quick to replicate. 

“What would you kids ever do without me?” Garcia said with a dramatic huff, and Bugsy all but threw herself at the woman, grabbing her in a tight hug, squeezing her so hard she nearly popped a pom pom out of her hair. 

“Oh, thankyou, thankyou, thankyou, I swear we’ll make it up to you, anything you want,” Bugsy said, her words flooding together with excitement as she buried her face in the woman’s blonde curls, “I swear, it’ll be a few weeks tops,” 

And with just a few more minutes of Penelope squealing over the sight of them holding hands, nearly fainting from joy when Spencer tucked Bugsy’s hair behind her ear lovingly with an adoring gaze, their secret was safe again. For a matter of a few weeks, that was. 

5. The one where he gets shot.

“We’ve got the suspect headed into El Lobito’s diner,” 

“Copy that, we’re on our way,” The sheriff reported, his radio sounding out as he approached the group where they stood around their table crammed full of suspect profiles. “We got him,” He said with a trace of relief, the preacher that had been murdering the prostitutes he pimped out finally within their grasp. 

Bugsy nodded, checking that her gun was holstered and reaching for her vest when Hotch put a hand out towards her, “Prentiss, I want you here with Rossi and I coordinating response here. Blake and Reid, you go with the sheriff to meet Morgan and JJ at the diner,” 

She opened her mouth to protest, maybe to exclaim that she was one of the best shots on the team, that there was nothing more that she could do here than if she was out in the field with the others, but Hotch’s word was always final, and she knew protesting on such a time constrained operation would only end in her unit chief giving her a timeout on the naughty step. 

So, instead, she bit the inside of her cheek, silenced whatever protest she was going to give because she knew he hated hearing her whine, and within a moment everyone seemed to jump at their orders. 

She caught Spencer’s eye as he trailed behind Blake, wishing now more than ever things could be different, because a horrible feeling settled in her gut like a rotten fruit, churning her stomach with horrid thoughts that Spencer was heading straight for the line of fire and she couldn’t so much as give him a hug without it seeming odd. 

She wished more than ever she could grab him in a kiss that Hotch would pretend to not see, that he would understand because the entire team fretted over one another when the cards were dealt and the guns were loaded, wished she could tell Spencer over and over that he needed more than anything to make it back to her safely because she wouldn’t know what to do with all the love she had for him if he wasn’t there to take it. 

Except she couldn’t. Not here. Not so public. 

So instead she flashed him a nod that said a million words and more. I love you, I love you, I love you Spencer Reid. Come back to me because I love you more than life itself, Spencer Reid.

And Spencer got the message, the exchange looking like a plain tilt of the head between coworkers, as he strolled out of the precinct, checking his gun was loaded in his holster. 

His eyes read clear back to her what his reply was, though maybe it was just their spidey sense working overtime, she could have swore she read his mind in the split second that their gaze met. 

I’ll try. I’ll try with everything to come back to you. 

–

“Copy that, two of ours, three of theirs,” Cruz said with little to no inflection as he held out the speaker phone to the middle of the room, and Bugsy felt her breath catch in her throat as she waited for Alex to go on, “Any casualties?”

“One,” She replied, and the Prentiss woman felt her head go funny at the sound of it, “Coleman. Morgan has a superficial wound to his shoulder, little winded from getting shot in the vest but Reid is..” 

Blake trailed off, her throat choking up with emotion as she watched the boy be loaded onto the stretcher into the back of the ambulance. 

“What?” Hotch pressed, and Bugsy would have to thank him later because she could have sworn words had failed her by now. 

“Reid’s been hit in the neck,” She felt her legs go numb, the world spinning around her like someone was playing a cruel joke on her, like she was falling down, down, down into the rabbit hole, down into wonderland, where Spencer was hurt, badly, and she hadn’t been there to stop it. “It’s looking… bad,” 

Hotch flicked a glance at her where they stood in the precinct, and it was only then she realised all the air had whooshed from her lungs in what she suspected had been something between a gasp and a ‘no’, though she couldn’t say for sure because her hearing had been knocked clean from her, a high pitched whine of white noise ringing in her ears, like she’d knocked the signal from a TV, like her brain had been filled with static the second Blake’s voice floated through the phone.

“Bugsy,” It sounded underwater, and suddenly it was too difficult to swallow, until she realised the feeling was that she might just throw up, and she stepped towards the precinct door in some sort of haze, rustling around her pockets for the keys to the SUV, “Bugsy, wait!” 

There was a hand on her shoulder spinning her around as she was hit in the face with cool air, and suddenly Hotch was there, his umber eyes full of concern, Rossi not too far behind him, and it took her Unit Chief all of one swipe to snatch the keys from her. 

“I- We have to go, Hotch- we have to see him,” She babbled, and she was surprised at the fact she didn’t feel like crying. She expected to feel the burn behind her eyes, the tingling and tightness in her throat, only to come up blank. Like her body had taken a back seat, her head working on autopilot because she needed to see spencer for herself, “They need to know he can’t have any narcotics- I need to make sure it’s on his sh-sheet,” 

Her teeth were chattering. It was the middle of July, why were her teeth chattering?

“I know, I know, he’s in good hands,” Hotch said, in a way that told her he wasn’t being Hotch, that right now he was Aaron. He put a hand on her shoulder, the size of it dwarfing her and he looked at her like he was explaining to Jack why he couldn’t have chocolate before bed, “I know, we’ll go tell them right now, honey. Just let me drive the car.” 

She nodded without really hearing him, and Rossi opened the front passenger seat door for her, a grandfather’s hand on her back that helped her up into the jeep, because she seemed ready to take a tumble at any point, walking like her knee caps were made from jelly. 

“Has Blake said anything else?” She said, her voice entirely childlike, and David would bet any amount of money that it was the shock. He took a look at her, the way her fingernails were picking around each other already in a bad habit he could already guess came from Emily, and Aaron hopped into the driver’s side of the car, leaning over to grab her seatbelt for her. 

“Not yet, kiddo,” Rossi replied, his eyes soft like a teddy as she nodded dejectedly, and he closed the door on her side of the vehicle, opening the back for himself, Hotch mother henning over her. 

Aaron had expected her to worry, god knows he was well aware that Spencer and Bugsy struggled to function when they weren’t close by. He chided himself for splitting them up, yet he’d thought he was doing his best keeping his team in two equal sized groups both in the field and in the precinct. With JJ’s suspicions of a mole in the police force, Hotch and Rossi needed back up just as badly as the others. And god forbid he had selfishly tried to watch over her. Not because he didn’t think she was capable, but because he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if something happened while he’d sent her after an UnSub. 

He knew it was wrong to pick favourites, and truthfully if he had to he’d say, his whole team meant something like family to him. But Bugsy was the youngest, the baby if you would, she was mellower than she liked to pretend she was, and she’d carved a small soft spot in his side that he would struggle to get rid of. 

Only now Reid was down, and with him went Bugsy. 

Hotch started the car, quickly navigating his way to the hospital where he knew his team would more than likely already be racing towards in the same state of panic. He caught the way her knee thudded on the carpeted floor, where she tapped her ankle and it took a small glance to his right to see her chewing at her cuticles silently. 

“Bug, he’s in good hands,” He repeated, and she nodded though she didn’t seem to really be listening, “He’s going to be alright,”

Yet part of Aaron felt like he was telling himself that as much as he was telling her. Because if something happened to Reid, he didn’t think any of them would be the same again.

–

Blake heard her before they saw her, the way Hurricane Bugsy usually went.

“I swear to god, you had better let me through this door right now, or I will have your superior on speed dial by the end of the week-” She snapped, her panic quickly turned vitriol anger as the desk assistant who tried blocking her way into the critical unit looked at her somewhat mortified that his job was walking along a fine line. 

Hotch and Rossi had gone straight to where Morgan sat resting in a separate ward, trying to gather more information about the shooter since Morgan had seen the UnSub first hand.

Blake’s head shot up, the wetness around her lashline stinging with guilt as she watched the youngest agent tear through the waiting room as if looking out for blood. Alex was out of her seat on shaking legs, heading towards the girl who she knew would go down in a blur of swings and insults for Spencer Reid. 

“Bug, honey, hey,” Alex’s tone was motherly, as were her soft hands that she placed on the girl’s shoulders, and it didn’t become clear that the source of distress was from a place of fear instead of anger until the girl whipped around to face the voice, and Blake saw the redness rimming her eyes where she had forced the weeping away, likely putting on a brave face and high walls to stop the real emotion swirling inside her. 

Bugsy looked at the older woman, and that was all it took for her lip to quiver. It didn’t help that Alex threw her arms around her, pulling her in for a soft hug, one she had never gotten from Elizabeth Prentiss, one she had been craving her whole childhood, a mother that held her tight and told her she was going to be okay. 

“What happened?” She said, the sob crawling up her throat, bleeding into her words and muddying them with tears, and Alex had to swallow thickly to keep down the wail that pressed tight against her tongue, “What happened?” 

“He pushed me out the way,” She said with a shaky voice, and it took everything inside herself not to cry right there with her. “UnSub was aiming right for me, Spencer grabbed me and pushed me out the way. By that point it was too late, he’d already pulled the trigger, I’m so sorry honey,” 

“Don’t be s-sorry,” She hiccuped pathetically, clinging onto Blake like she was her only lifeline, perhaps the only thing keeping her standing, “I’m glad you’re okay, I was s-so worried,” 

Alex nodded, knowing she might just start crying then and there with the youngest agent if she were to open her mouth, and instead she chose to press a delicate kiss to her temple, hoping it would have to do since the infamous Emily Prentiss wasn’t there to comfort her sister. She seemed to quieten down enough in the embrace that Alex could pull away, her hands still on the girl’s shoulders. 

“I was just doing a crossword if you wanted to join me?” Alex said, which was a half truth since she had been too bothered to get past even the first three clues, and Bugsy nodded, her mind immediately spewing a million mornings of her and Spencer fighting for space at her desk to do the daily crossword. 

She couldn’t think like that, couldn’t think of him as if he was gone. Because he wasn’t, he was simply down that hallway, in the hands of surgeons who could slash his throat if they made even the smallest of nicks wrong-

“Yeah, I would like that,” Bugsy nodded with a sniffle, wiping her cheeks with her cuff, feeling pathetic and entirely regretful for bursting into the waiting room with a million emotions and no idea which one to feel first. 

She had never been good at putting a name to how she felt, only this time, if Alex were to ask her, she knew she would say she felt guilt. Guilt for not being there to help them, for hiding things from them for almost seven months now, for not telling Spencer she loved him more, not reminding him every second of every day, guilt that everyone was hurting over Spencer taking a knock and yet she was the only one who couldn’t smush it down into a box and put on a brave face. 

Because she couldn’t even if she tried. The trojans had a horse, Rocky had Creed, and she had Spencer. She was all mouth and courage and stone faced until it came to him. He was her Achilles Heel.  

She looked over Alex’s shoulder, pointing at seven across, and sighed with the horrific irony of the clue. A feeling of deep regret and remorse. 

“Contrition” She said, slumping into the chair as Alex penned the answer in with a wobbly lip. 

It was going to be a long night. 

–

Hotch found her by the vending machine, looking between the Dr Pepper and the Full Fat Coke like one of them would be able to tell her how to feel. She knew he was waiting for her, knew they had a job to do, but she couldn’t make herself move. She felt like the hospital linoleum had claimed her as its own, like she had melted into the squeaking surface until further notice. 

He was out of surgery by now, already in his room resting. It was just a matter of waking up really, and then they would see how bad things were, though by the sounds of it the doctors had hopes for a miraculous full recovery. 

Two centimetres to the right and it would have been an entirely different story, that’s what the surgeon had said. She was two centimetres away from losing the person she loved more than she ever knew was possible, the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. 

She thought for a second then, that if Spencer proposed the second he woke up she would probably say yes. Because she’d said it herself, her life had never been her life until it had him in it. 

“Bugsy,” Hotch tried, but her head had turned down, her chin pressing into her collar and it was then her shoulders began shaking, “Bug, come on, he’s going to be okay,”

She shook her head, biting down hard on her lip to stop a whimper of raw pain coming out, “I should have been there, I could have stopped it, I could have covered him,” She mewled, feeling him wrap a hand around her shoulder, and it was only then he tugged her towards him, letting her whimper into his chest as she clung onto him. 

“I know, I know it’s hard, but he’s going to make a full recovery,” He said in that cotton soft, loving tone usually reserved for Jack when he woke up from nightmares, “None of this was your fault, sweetheart, you have to know that-”

“I can’t do this without him, Hotch,” She said, pulling away just enough to look him in the eyes, and it pained him more than he’d ever admit to see her look so distraught. Memories of when Emily left flooded him and he felt all over again the painful shell she’d crawled into make an appearance, “I can’t,” 

It was a beg, a plea for mercy, a cry for help, and he could do nothing but nod, because he understood. If any of his team died, his team who he loved like a family, he thought he would crumble all the same. 

Only he knew it was different. He’d always known, deep down, why it was different for them. He saw the way Spencer had always looked at her, how damaged and tormented Bugsy’s eyes were as she looked at him now. And he knew. 

“I know, honey,” He said soothingly, stroking hands over her cheeks to dry them for her, because he couldn’t stand to see her so sodden with tears, “But you know what? You’re going to pick yourself back up until Reid gets better, because we have an UnSub to catch-”

“Hotch, I can’t,” She shook her head, but Hotch only pulled her closer, his eyes boring into hers with more affection than her father had ever shown her. “I can’t-”

“Yes, you can. You know why?” He asked, and she went quiet, shaking her head with a pitiful sniff, “Because I have never once stopped believing in you, even when you hated me, even when you had a damn building dropped on you, even when you were a reckless kid running away from your own wedding, I never stopped thinking that you were the bravest person I’ve ever known. And Spencer never stopped believing in you either,”

Her throat closed up all over again, her eyes wide and threatening to wash her skin with tears all over again as she nodded timidly. 

“Okay?” Hotch said, and she nodded again. He rooted around his blazer pocket for a handkerchief, passing it off to her before he reached for the top button of her shirt. He unbuttoned it with a gentle thumb, poofing her neckline out so she could breath a little better through her dying cries, “Why don’t we get that collar loosened a little for once, huh? Get you a soda, and then we’re going to make this son of a bitch pay for what he did to Reid,” 

Bugsy nodded again, feeling a hundred percent better the second air got onto her throat, and she saw glimpses of what he was like as a dad. Part of her wished then that things would have been different, that maybe she would have had a dad like him, one that knew how to fix things. One that knew just what to say to make her smile. 

He produced a five dollar bill, holding it up for the vending machine to eat as he turned to her, “Alright, now which one are you having?” 

Bugsy thought she might just love Aaron Hotchner ten times more than she already had. 

+1. The one where they tell everyone

She swore she had never run through hospital halls so fast. 

Blake had called her to update her about Garcia shooting the UnSub who posed as a doctor to try and administer lethal doses of medicine to Spencer, and when that hadn’t worked, he’d pulled a gun on her boyfriend and her tech whizz best friend. 

And Penelope had shot him. Killed him. All to save Spencer. 

And she supposed she needed to thank Penelope soon, that she would need to get the girl her own bunch of flowers like the ones she’d quickly excused herself to grab while Hotch and Rossi went straight up into Spencer’s hospital room, even when Aaron had tried to wait for her thinking she was having another crisis of faith, she had ushered him along and told him it was bad form to show up without a card at least. 

She burst through the doors like a bat out of hell, and the sight of Spencer in the scrubs, thick gauze wrapped around his neck made whatever resolve she’d been storing dissolve immediately. Her face crumpled in a cry, and he barely had time to carefully turn his head towards the door, before she had launched herself at him, the flowers and card she had gotten him from the hospital gift shop forgotten and tossed to the floor. 

She would apologise later, because she had ruined his presents despite the sentiment being there; for now she needed to feel him, make sure he was real and breathing and alive the way she’d told herself he wouldn’t be. 

“Bug-” His voice was raspy, no doubt having been drifting in and out of sleep for the past few hours, or even if the doctors had told him to rest his throat so as not to affect the thin, delicate stitches. But it didn’t matter much to her, she didn’t even let him finish anyway before she threw herself at him, minding his wound as she wept onto his chest, her arms wrapping around his waist, “Bugsy, it’s okay, I’m okay,”

But she couldn’t even speak, couldn’t even tell him to stop trying to reassure her, stop trying to make her feel better because he was the one in pain. She felt like a coward; she hadn’t even pulled herself together enough to see him before, when he had still been sleeping. The sight of him on that bed, his eyes squeezed shut… she had turned tail and run before she even gave him a chance. Knew she wouldn’t be able to hold herself together on the case if she went into his room and pretended everything was going to be fine the way Garcia and Blake were doing. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’ll stop-” She hiccupped, lifting her head up to look at him through distraught, reddened eyes, and she saw his face morphing into pure sorrow, his own hazel hues wide with grief because he hated seeing her in so much pain. 

And she couldn't stop herself, her hands migrated to his cheeks, steering clear of the suture. She didn’t think of the other eyes in the room, or the fact only Penelope knew, she suspected Hotch might have caught on by now anyway, she didn’t frankly care. She wanted to feel him against her, to know he was still hers. 

Bugsy kissed him like he was about to be ripped away from her at any given moment, and had she been in any other mindset she might have cared about the fact she could taste the salt of her tears, that he froze under her brazen affection, or that she surely looked a state after what the past twenty four hours had put her through. She didn’t care when she heard a gasp, or felt stares, only that Spencer kissed her back, possibly the most tender he had ever been, his hands soft and featherlike as they traced over her waist to pull her closer. He tasted like Jell-O, and she thought it might just be her favourite flavour suddenly, because it was all him. 

She pulled away with a sniffle, looking entirely sorry for herself and like a kicked puppy, and she was quickly ripped out of her delirium that allowed her to look at him without guilt or hesitation by a loud whistle. 

“Now how long have you kids been holding that out?” Morgan jeered, and Bugsy cracked a smile, wiping her face on the back of her sleeve as she looked at her team. JJ and Penelope clung to one another with ditsy smiles, like they were watching John Cusack playing the boombox over his head at the bedroom window, Rossi stood with his arms crossed, a nostalgic smile on his face as he watched the kids he’d seen grow up finally seem like they were at home. Morgan looked ready to tease some more until Blake put a hand on his shoulder, entirely motherly and chiding, and Hotch looked at her and her alone like he was looking in a mirror.

He supposed, for once, the bau had found a happy ending. 

--

@release-your-sweets s @smileykiddie08 @caramelised-onions @the-tpd-bau @stephthepeach @sunflowersndpeaches @sammy-4103 @starmansirius @yeonalie @delusionallooney @hades-disappointment-child @sadbae-33 @mdanon027 @swag13r @frickin-bats @bilesxbilinskixlahey @mindfullycriminal l @mrsbellastyles @nilopillo @imagines--galore @bluejaysaysstuff @imaginexred @flow33didontsmoke @spicyspirit @mywellspringoflife @lovelyygirl8 @pleasantwitchgarden @star-girl-interlud3

@rosylnsworld @jamieolivia27 @halcyonwithletters @waywardhunter95 @ineedtosusoutmyreadinglist @theoraekenslover r @niktwazny303 @bliindmattmurdock @alyeskathewave @littlemadamred @yondiii @cultish-corner @lllucere @escapismurmom @stillhere197 @hiireadstuff @amortencjja @queermaxwooo @telengraph @ivyflowers13 @estrela-rogers @green_vita @busy-buzzing @kitty-kei @universallyblizzardlove @suckstobrlaurie @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @splatteredpurplepaint

[reidrum]

good night moon | s.r

A/N: hi again ! this one is deeply self indulgent i fear but who cares i hope you like it as much as i do <3 ps let me know what kinda fics i should write next !!

cw: spencer reid x bau!reader, cm type violence, reader is afab but this only is referred to when mentioning reader is a daughter, sad thoughts, hurt/comfort, talks about nightmares, spencer just wants to take care you gdm it why won’t you let him

wc: 2.4k

_______________________________________________

trudging up the stairs of the bullpen, you tried your best to use whatever sense you had left to beeline to the kitchen to make another cup of coffee. thank god the bau had minimal reflective surfaces because you’re sure you look like the evil old lady from snow white. that was just, your opinion of course. to everyone else you looked fine.

fine was so subjective. what did these fuckers know about being fine? they weren’t the ones on the mission. they don’t know what you saw, how you did nothing, how you couldn’t do anything.

“FBI hands up!” you yell holding your gun and flashlight at the unsub. he’s holding the victim at knifepoint, a twelve year old girl who reminded you too much of yourself.

this unsub’s MO was kidnapping eldest daughters of families that had sons as well, because he believed the son should be the eldest child with the most responsibility and that the daughters were only there to create more babies. the team had deduced that he was the youngest child to an older sister who he felt had too much control over him, combined with his fascination with the perfect nuclear family, it slowly turned him into a sociopathic killer.

“come any closer and i’ll slit her throat!” the unsub bellowed, getting dangerously close to her carotid artery.

“you don’t wanna do that, man,” derek says behind you, “just put the knife down and we can talk.”

“there’s nothing left to talk anymore! i’m already going to prison. there’s no point.”

you called out the unsub’s name, “i know how you’re feeling, i have a younger brother too and he feels the same way you do sometimes. what your sister did to you was not okay, but not all sisters are like that. we just want to care for our family. let them have the chance to be the big sister you wished for.”

the unsub seemed to contemplate your words for a minute, then looks up at you with eyes devoid of any light, “then this one is dedicated to you, agent.” and he drags the knife across her neck leaving waterfalls of blood coming out.

you’re not really sure what happened next. a gun went off, presumably derek’s, to kill the unsub. and then it was you screaming as you rushed to the young girl to try and stop her bleeding, but it was no use. the cut was deep enough to nick that damn carotid and all you could do was hold her in her last moments.

“te- tell my family i love them, and that i’m sorry.” the young girl spurts out so softly you almost didn’t hear it.

“no sweet girl, don’t be sorry,” you say through hiccuped cries, “i’m sorry i couldn’t save you.”

the last thing you remember was feeling strong hands carrying you out of the building. you couldn’t hear much, the sound of your wails pretty much masked anything in a five mile radius. you could taste the iron lingering in your mouth from biting your lip too hard and desperately collecting the salty tears and sweat trickling down your face. at first you smelled smoke and dust, most likely from being in the cave where the unsub was. but as you were being dragged away from the crime scene you were influxxed with a musky scent, and a hint of vanilla with that fresh laundry smell. spencer. the last thing you see are his worried little brown eyes staring down at you before everything goes dark.

that was monday. it is now thursday. the case had wrapped up, the unsub was dead the families were notified and now you all were in the office doing your paperwork for the case.

and all of you were doing fine, right? everyone else had already coped and processed the case, already stepping back into their normal life routines. but you, you couldn’t have it that easy, but god you wish you did.

since that day, you’d been holing up in your apartment with all the lights turned on. you sat in your living room, eating a bowl of fruit loops and watching bluey, because listen it’s a great show and we should acknowledge it. you cry out loud seeing bluey care for her little sister bingo, and it brings you back to that dusty cave and the bloodied hands.

you could feel sleep creeping up on you, yet you subconsciously found a way to push bedtime by doing menial tasks like cleaning, extra long skincare, watching a movie. when you ran out of things to do, you entered your room and just stared at your bed. how were you supposed to admit to yourself that the horror isn’t in the movie you just watched where the creepy demons kill everyone, but it’s what is waiting for you behind closed eyelids.

so the only logical solution was to just, not sleep. you whipped out every trick in the book to stay awake for as long as you could— energy drinks, coffee, splashing cold water, anything so you wouldn’t have to reface your plagued memories.

spencer observed you from a distance. he watched as you got coffee a whopping three times before 10am, you picking at your skin, not to mention the bags growing under your eyes. it was then he formed a hypothesis, he was a scientist after all. that you simply were not sleeping because of the case. it was much less a hypothesis and more of a fact because he knew exactly what it was upon first sight of you, hell he invented the sleep avoidance look.

and as the inventor it meant he knew the feeling more intimately than he would like to admit. spencer knew what it felt like to be debilitated by the confines of your brain, holding onto shreds of memories you know are not worth remembering but have somehow marked their territory anyway. and everyone coped differently, for spencer he isolated himself for days and then threw himself into work. for you? well, that was the next part of spencer’s experiment.

spencer approaches you in the kitchen as you’re pouring your fourth cup before noon, “hi.”

“hi.”

“how are you? feels like we haven’t talked in a bit.”

“i’m good, sorry i’ve just been. busy.”

spencer frowned internally, he knew you weren’t doing a single thing but working at the office. “are you okay? do you want to talk about last week?”

you cut him off abruptly and start walking out, “i really have to finish these reports spence, talk to you later.”

spencer knew better, he should give you space to cope by yourself. you were an adult, you can take care of yourself. but you shouldn’t have to, he thinks. spencer still tells himself he knows better as he’s waiting on your doorstep that night, about to the rapp the door.

after a minute of no answer he knocks again this time calling your name through the door, “will you let me in please? i want to show you something.”

still nothing. he continues, “i know what you’re feeling, and i want to help, please.”

he almost gives up and turns around when he hears the turn of a lock and slight creek of the door opening to see you in all your beautiful glory.

now you, you were definitely a sight for sore eyes. avengers pj shorts with a baggy uni t shirt, hair flying in any direction, and a look that spencer could only describe as grief. but god if you weren’t the most beautiful human he’d seen in his life, he’d be lying.

you were coming up on day 3? or was it 4? of no sleep. it’s not like you were not sleeping at all you took little 30 minute naps each day, enough to get you some shut eye but not enough to make it your rem stage of sleep.

spencer speaks again, “can i come in?” you nod silently and open the door wider for him to step in. he removes his shoes and it’s then you notice a big ole tote bag he’s lugging to your living room.

“what’s in the bag?”

“ah, come sit. i brought magical things.” he smiles playfully.

you shuffle over to sit a seat’s cushion away from him and watch as he starts pulling item by item from his mary poppins bag.

candles, essential oils, books, but specifically romance novels with the silly cartoon covers that he swears aren’t real books but you argue with him until he concedes, melatonin gummies, pillow sleep spray, and one more item that he’s holding onto for what seems to be dramatic effect. you’re not amused.

“and the piece de resistance,” he presents the last item, and you look confused for a second, until you recognize the item in front of you and immediately start tearing up. in his hands is a grogu weighted stuffed animal that he holds out for you to take. “i know you’re not sleeping. it happened to me when, you know. i figured it would be helpful if you had someone who could empathize how you’re feeling. and because you’re my best friend and i care about you.”

your bottom lip trembles, and you feel the ice block you’ve kept yourself in this past week start to melt uncontrollably. “spence…” you breathe out so quietly. he did all this? for you? doctor spencer reid went out to the store, and bought a grogu stuffed animal for you to cuddle at night to ease your loneliness?

the concept of being taken care of was so foreign to you, as the eldest daughter in your family it was always you taking care of others and making sure everyone was okay. but rarely did anyone check on you, how you were holding up. and you had learned to cope by yourself, to handle the big emotions by yourself, but for once, someone was willing to take all that weight off your shoulders and let you breathe. and god, did it feel so cathartic you could burst out in sobs.

so you did.

“hey,” he says scooting closer to you so he can scoop you into his chest, “was that a lot? penelope said i’d probably overwhelm you but all of the things i brought are scientifically proven sleep additives-“

“no i just, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.” you whimper.

spencer’s eyes soften, “you deserve it. what happened last week… was hard. i just wanted to help.”

“thank you,” he hears a muffled response and rubs his hands affectionately down your back, “damn, all this crying is making me so tired.”

“see! the magic of the poppins bag.” he chuckles. you laugh too. spencer thinks all the flowers in a mile radius just bloomed.

“it’s just,” you start out, nuzzling into his chest deeper, “the second i close my eyes and dream, i see her. and how i couldn’t save her. and how the others i couldn’t save either.” you feel your chest seizing up again.

“okay well hey, hey. you did what you were trained to do. any other agent in your position would’ve tried talking him down the way you did. and your personal story gave you an advantage that no one else would’ve had. statistically speaking, you were the best chance at getting through to him. yeah it didn’t work, but it wouldn’t be probability if it always worked,” he cradles your face in his big hands, “we’re all so proud of you, you know. rossi’s waiting for you to be back on your feet so he can host pasta night at his hou- sorry his mansion again.”

spencer looks down at you properly to your tear stained cheeks and brushes your hair back. he sees the pain and tiredness fighting behind your eyes and asks softly, “what do you need right now?”

“i’m tired.” you lament.

“then lets go sleep.”

“i can’t.”

“why not?”

“im scared.”

“well that’s why i brought the stuff silly goose,” he taps your nose, “come on, let’s go set it up.”

spencer brings all the sleep aids to your room and sets them up appropriately, even plugging in your sunrise lamp to help with the ambient lighting. the only thing left to do is for you to get into your bed.

you both stand on opposite sides of your bed, and he’s waiting for you to get in so can tuck you in. you hesitate and look up at him with the same worried eyes he saw all those days ago.

“could you stay for bit?”

“i can stay for some time if you want” you both speak at the same time. you giggle again, spencer thinks an angel got its wings.

thank god he wore sweats and a comfy t shirt he thinks. he slid in under the blanket and holds it open for you to come in, “come on, you’re missing the cuddle party with grogu and i!” you beam widely and finally sink into your bed.

spencer pulls you into his chest, wrapping an arm around your shoulder blade, and the other taking a spot on your hip rubbing soft circles. you lay your head to rest on his chest, right above his beating heart. you try to let the metronomic thumps lull you to sleep, but spencer can still feel your eyelashes fluttering about on his chest. he knows what you’re thinking, because of course he does.

“look at me,” he nudges you, you look up at his eyes again and see nothing but pure love and reassurance as he continues, “you are safe. nothing can hurt you. i promise.”

“are you sure?” you let out meekly,

“i’m sure. it’s okay, go to sleep,” he presses a gentle kiss to the crown of your forehead. “i’ll be here when you wake up.”

you shakily take a deep breath, and close your eyes.

after five minutes of spencer rubbing shapes into your back, he can finally hear the soft snores coming from below. he places another kiss on your head, whispers, “good night angel girl,” and doses off.

you wake up the next morning feeling so rested and relieved you can’t help but give spencer a big hug that wakes him up. spencer thinks he’d be the luckiest man in the universe if he could wake up like this everyday.

[dilfsfordinner]

Escarmiento- Miguel O’hara x fem!spider reader

a/n- spoiler warning for atsv!!! Some of the things in this I don’t agree with based off of my personal opinion for certain characters, but y/n, for story sake, agrees with Miles

warnings- eventual smut, predator/prey dynamics, spanking, edging, degradation, explicit language, size kink, biting, mean/rough sex, unprotected sex, vaginal fingering, creampie, aftercare, soft miggy after he realizes he was an ass

—————————————————————————

“You’re an anomaly. You don’t belong here, you don’t even belong in your universe. Everything you’ve done…”

The sound of your husband’s voice rang between your ears as you squeezed between the growing crowd, the dark blue and red of Miguel’s “lair” reflecting off the suits of the hundreds of spider people slowly congregating around the boy you knew as Miles Morales. For weeks, Miguel was infatuated with this Morales kid, infatuated with the idea of capturing him so that he could save everyone, so he could save you, as he loved to say.

Slowly but surely, you found yourself standing at the front, watching as the young boy was on the receiving end of a very familiar type of lecture. “-kid, you can’t have everything, you can’t save everyone. Spider-man makes sacrifices, that’s the way it has to be,” Miguel’s tone was strong, unwavering, as he told the kid the unfortunate truth of the situation.

Gwen, Peter, Hobie (who could not care less about the situation), Jess, and your husband all battered the kid with their takes, with their opinions on the situation and you could tell that he wasn’t having any of it. The others in the room also thought it their place to partake in this ping pong match of morals, their voices overstimulating even to your ears. It was obvious that Miles felt suffocated, lied to, attacked, and you couldn’t just sit back and watch.

“What if he’s right?”

…

The room went silent at your words, every single spider lensed eye turning to look at you as you stepped forward, a pair of scarlet eyes meeting your own, narrowing slightly. “What if nothing happens? I mean, how are any of us supposed to live if we stay trapped by the rules of the unknown?”

A sigh left the lips of the spider you knew all too well, his gloved hand running down his face as he turned to you. “We’re “trapped” by those rules for a reason. They’re the only thing holding everything together. You should know that more than anyone.”

Yes, you knew all too well what would happen if the canon was disrupted, being Miguel’s only pillar to trust and lean on for him to be vulnerable enough to share his story. That was one case though. One instance out of countless others that were possible.

With careful steps, you walked toward them until you were side by side with Miles, his wide eyes watching you literally take his side, the first out of hundreds to step up.

“Amor.. being bitten by that spider should’ve caused irrevocable damage in his universe, should it not have?” You questioned him, his strong arms crossing as he pondered the fact, “It wasn’t canon, so by your reasoning, all hell should’ve broken loose in his universe. But it didn’t. Miles may very well be an anomaly, but if he can commit non-canon acts without consequences, there’s nothing stopping us from letting him save his father.”

With a scoff, your husband’s hand turned to gesture the scenes projected behind him, the sight of universes crumbling, millions of lives wiped out due to one action. “This is why we can’t let him. If the kid is allowed to do whatever he wants, every single universe would end up in shambles because one little thread of reality was tugged loose.”

You wouldn’t admit it out loud, but to some degree, you did agree with Miguel. You knew how important it was to uphold the rules of the multiverse, but there was just something different with Miles. You couldn’t help but think that this was different, that his case was truly unique.

“He’s staying. I don’t care about hypotheticals or any other possible outcomes-”

Using Miguel’s voice as a cover, as inconspicuous as possible, your gloved hand lightly tugged at Miles’ pinky, and when his eyes glanced at your still frame, you whispered under your breath, “Use your palms.” Miles’ eyebrows furrowed at your comment, his shoulders squaring as Miguel approached the both of you.

“-he’s not going anywhere until we know for sure that he’s not a threat.” Miguel’s hand closed around your wrist, pulling you away from the boy’s side as you watched him pull a red disk from the air behind him, casually throwing it at the boy’s feet, a red cage snapping up around the panicking kid.

Miguel was immediately battered with pleas to let him go, specifically by Gwen and Peter, as Miles yelled and slammed against his enclosure. Slipping away from the turmoil and shouting, you caught Miles’ gaze and nodded slightly, his eyes going wide at the realization of your words. His hands pressed against the red lining, a muttered sentence leaving his lips before the cage shattered and every single spider-person was thrown backwards by the sheer force. Everyone besides you of course, who was conveniently standing next to a freed Miles, your webbing attached to the floor the only anchor you had to prevent from flying back.

Scarlet eyes immediately snapped to you, your gaze full of guilt as Miles turned to sprint, your legs quickly following as the shout of your name boomed behind you, your eyes flitting back to find a rage-filled Miguel with hundreds of spiders at his heels, pursuing Miles, and unfortunately, you as well.

—————————————————————————

Part Two

[thewritetofreespeech]

May I request Nanami and Gojo finding out their s/o got disowned by her father, who is one of the higher-ups, because she showed mercy and defended Yuuji?

Nanami Kento

It was late at night when he got the knock at the door. So late, in fact, that Nanami was just about to go to bed, already in his pajamas with his teeth brushed, when he heard it.

“[Y/N]?” He asked curiously when he saw them there. Standing in front of his door, looking a mixture of distraught, sad, and just hopeless. A strange case given that they were usually so confident and strong as a Special Grade Sorcerer. “What’s wrong? Has someone died?”

“No. No one has died. I guess that’s the problem.” Nanami arched a brow at their cryptic comment, before they let out a shaky sigh. “Can I stay here tonight?”

He of course let them in. Offering tea or some kind of comforting drink, although they don’t take him up on the offer. “Will you tell me what’s wrong, please?”

They eventually break down and tell him everything. About the boy that ate one of Sukuna’s fingers. How he was slated for execution, which was cruel but reasonable in their world, and how that idiot had them stick their neck out to vouch for the boy’s hold even though they didn’t know a thing about him. Of course, Nanami knew that they would speak up for him. They had an incredible sense of morality and standing up for the weak. ‘That’s the job, isn’t it?’ They had told him that more than once.

Apparently not everyone shared their noble heart, it seemed. Not even those in her own family. For standing up to the higher ups and ‘embarrassing’ the family her father kicked her out with threats of disownment and banishment. Whether or not he meant to follow through would be a problem for tomorrow, but right now she was out on the street. Which in his opinion was unforgiveable already.

“You can stay here as long as you like.” Nanami told them. Amending their original request from earlier to stay the night.

[Y/N] sniffle once, but seem hell bent on refusing to cry. Nanami told them to take a shower if they wanted and he would find them some clothes to sleep in. They literally had nothing on them. So they would have to make do.

Both of them now in pajamas with their teeth brushed, [Y/N] curled up beside him and tried to get some sleep. It seemed a struggle, but the emotional exhaustion took hold, he thinks, and they both try to get the best night sleep possible for the hell that was to greet them in the morning.

Gojo Satoru

Gojo whistled down the hall as he made his way from one part of campus to the other. He was quite pleased with himself.

It wasn’t every day he got to ridicule and humiliate the higher-ups; despite his attempts and life’s goal to make it an everyday occurrence on his part. Those old fools didn’t know what hit ‘em when Gojo plead his case and told them what happened. He might not have gotten this Yuji kid off scot-free, but he bought him some time. That’s all he needed for Gojo’s master plan to come to fruition (whatever it was).

He passed a familiar doorway and saw a light was on. Thinking it had been left on by mistake, he invited himself in and was surprised to see [Y/N] there. Boxes on their desk as they were throwing things into it.

“Hey, isn’t it a little early for spring cleaning?”

“Not for me.” They told him. “I have to be out of here by morning.” Gojo tilted his head to the side, so they explained further. “I’ve been sacked.”

Gojo’s face was one of alarm. “Wait. What are you talking about?” They couldn’t have been fired. Really? For what??

“Apparently my behavior at the council meeting was ‘unbecoming of an educator at this institution’.”

Gojo growled in his throat. “That’s bullshit! I was there too, and it was my idea! I did all the talking!”

“Yes, but I don’t have the Gojo name to defend me.” His ire and shoulder fell. Oh shit….

“They seriously fired you?” [Y/N] nodded. He clicked his teeth. “Can’t you do something? Your dad maybe?” He’d hate to ask him for any favors, but if it kept [Y/N] here they should take it.

“Who do you think signed my ‘death warrant’?”

He wanted to say he was surprised, but he wasn’t.

“I’m sorry [Y/N]. I didn’t realize that you might –“you did the right thing Satoru. Even if it was originally for selfish reasons.” He sighed. So he guessed they knew that the only reason he initially did this was to piss this old coots off. They lifted the box and put in on their hip. “I’ll be fine. I’m not exiled entirely. Not yet. I’m still a Special Grade. Still can go on missions.”

“Yeah. Ones that will get you killed.” They all knew what happened to people who weren’t Gojo that stood up to the council. They were given mission in far off places and then ‘died under mysterious circumstances’ while in Brazil or Cameroon or something.

[Y/N] let out a bitter chuckle. “They’d have to catch me first. For now, I need to find a place to stay. Get an apartment. They took away my professor housing too, and I obviously can’t go home to dear-old-dad.”

“You’re staying with me.” Gojo cut in quickly.

[Y/N] seemed surprised, but quickly schooled it into coy. “Ooo….I never thought we’d be in a point in our relationship where we were moving in together.”

“Don’t be stupid.”

Gojo grabbed the box they were carrying and helped carry it out. “I really am sorry.” He apologized on the way.

“I know.” They told him. But that was all they said this time. No ‘you had a good reason’, ‘you did what you could’, ‘it’s not your fault’. He suddenly felt all the more guilty. He had to remember more often that just because things couldn’t touch him, that other people weren’t as lucky. Collateral damage was something he never thought of. He’d need to think about that more in the future. Especially with his new student.

[kimbappykidding]

How Seventeen act when they like you but your dating one of their members

Scoups - Makes sure your boyfriend treats you right

"Hey is that your phone again? It's been buzzing like crazy" Scoups called to Jeonghan. "Yeah it's y/n. We got in a fight so I'm just avoiding her for a bit to make her sweat" Jeonghan replied dismissively. Scoups frowned "what was the fight about?". "She was mad because I was late to her family dinner but I told her work might run over". "You told her in advance?" Scoups asked. "Well no but she knows how work is! I can't exactly drop everything just because she wants me to meet her parents". Scoups sighed and picked up Jeonghan's phone before throwing it to him. "Ow!" Jeonghan cried but Scoups didn't react "call her back or at least text her and tell her you need some space. Don't ignore her it's childish". "But I have nothing to say to her until she apologises". "Look I'm not going to tell you what to do in your relationship but y/n doesn't deserve this. You know she's been having a hard time lately and she's not a mind reader. You could've told her the dinner was on a bad day and rearranged or asked me to get you out early. You know I would’ve let you go for something important" Scoups told him. In response Jeonghan rolled his eyes "I thought I had immunity to your leader lectures?". "You usually do but not when you're treating a nice girl like y/n badly. If you need some time to cool off just tell her that so she stops worrying!". Jeonghan sighed but he unlocked his phone "if you think she's so great maybe you should date her" he muttered. 

Luckily Jeonghan was focused on his phone so he didn't see Scoups reaction. How he froze caught off guard and his face filled with a sad wistful expression. "I would if I could" he said to himself and walked from the room.

Jeonghan - Hangs around you a lot even though it hurts him

You spotted Jeonghan across the room and gave him a huge smile that almost floored him. “You came!” you cried rushing to hug him and Jeonghan nodded “of course I did! Did you really think I’d miss your first art exhibition?”. You smiled at him bashfully “thank you...I was really nervous about Joshua not being able to come so you being here really helps. Knowing there’s atleast one person here that likes me and doesn’t think I’m a failure is comforting”. Jeonghan almost laughed at how ironic that was. 

The second Joshua started dating you Jeonghan's heart sank. He knew of you through friends and was the first member Joshua introduced you to. Jeonghan had very strong opinions about you and knew a lot about you compared to the others. Everyone thought Jeonghan was so involved purely because he was so close to Joshua. They all thought it was the typical protective best friend making sure the girl was good enough but it wasn't totally like that. Sure Jeonghan used that excuse but mostly, he just liked seeing you. You were good company and could always make him smile even on the longest more tiresome day. He found you so beautiful to watch and he liked being around you. He told himself you were just good friends and he didn't feel anything more but the times when he felt longing seeing you wrapped up with Joshua or even worse the sharp jealous feeling he got seeing the two of you kiss...he knew couldn't deny it. So he just chose to ignore it and carried on being close to both of you. He'd never ever do anything to cause you or Joshua any upset, so he just ignored his feelings and loved you silently.  

Thinking of all this Jeonghan smiled “ow come on it’s not just me, I’ve seen tons of people admiring your work and you’re insanely talented so don’t sell yourself short”. You smiled again “thank you...it’s actually been quite fun but I’ve just been nervous the entire time. My mouth keeps going dry but I don’t want to leave my post in case someone comes and wants to speak to me”. “Well why don’t I go and get you a drink?” Jeonghan asked. “Really? You’d do that for me?” you asked and Jeonghan nodded “I’d do a lot more y/n” and he meant it. He’d do pretty much anything for you. 

Joshua - Super super super nice to you

When Seventeen heard Jun had a girlfriend they were all thrilled, a bit amazed but mainly happy. The8 finally convinced him to invite you to one of their parties and when you turned up Joshua was stunned. You were the most beautiful person he’d ever seen and he had to admit you and Jun looked amazing together but it didn’t just stop there. Joshua loved your personality and found your sense of humour similar to his own.  The more he thought about you the more he realised you were his ideal type, you even spoke English for heaven’s sake! When Joshua found out you were from Scotland he thought he’d die right there from your accent and he soon invented reasons to spend time with you like helping you learn Chinese. 

You were fluent in Korean, English and Japanese but of course wanted to learn Chinese so you could speak to your boyfriend in his home tongue and Joshua offered to go to the lessons with you. No matter how inconvenient or how hectic his schedule was he met you outside the building, stay for the two hours and then drive you home afterwards. 

He’d just gotten home quite late from a study session with you in preparation for an upcoming test when Jeonghan caught him sneaking in. “A bit late isn’t it?” he called and Joshua smiled awkwardly "I was out with y/n". "Isn't that like the third time this week? Man are you dating her or Jun?" Jeonghan joked. "It's not like that..." Joshua started when Jeonghan smiled "I know it's not but...you do help her out a lot. Like when she was moving apartments and Jun was away in China. You dropped everything to help her, even cancelling that date with Iris you'd been after for so long. There's something there right? You like her". Joshua blushed "I...just want her to be happy okay? If that's with Jun then that's fine with me". Jeonghan nodded "you're nice enough that I believe you, just don't get in too deep yeah?". Joshua nodded "I won't” but he had a sinking feeling when he said it. He knew he was already way past that. 

Jun -  Can’t even be near you

Jun didn't realise he liked you for a ridiculous amount of time. He just knew whenever he walked into a room and you were there he had to leave it.

 Especially if Hoshi was also in the room because if the two of you were acting cute or worse flirty then his body would malfunction. The first time he saw Hoshi kiss you he was stunned and had a vivid reaction to it. That kiss ruined his mood for days and he found he couldn't be around you without thinking of it. So he just avoided you, if you were invited over he'd be out. If there was no getting out of the occasion he'd leave the room if you entered or stay as far from you as possible. He didn't speak or even look at you if it could be helped. Not even when you sought him out, confused why the funniest member of Seventeen had never even uttered a word in your presence. Hoshi just shrugged and told you Jun was quite introverted so you let it drop and moved on. 

You didn't think of Jun much after that but he thought of you, often. Like tonight, you were across the room from him by Hoshi’s side in a beautiful outfit that had taken Jun’s breath away. Scoups had told him he just had to stay an hour and his eyes kept going from you to the clock. He was only halfway through and he had no idea how he was going to cope. “Hey you okay?” The8 said appearing next to him. Jun nodded “yeah why?”. “Nothing just isn’t that like your 3rd drink?”. Jun shrugged “so it’s an open bar”. The8 nodded “okay just checking...I’m going to head over to Hoshi, Mingyu and y/n. You want to come with?”. Jun didn’t even hesitate “i’m good thanks” and finished his drink reaching for the fourth one. The8 nodded “okay well text if you need anything” and walked away. 

Jun watched him join you and how you smiled and chatted to him. Hoshi hung an arm around your waist and Jun sighed heading for the door. He’d come up with some excuse for Scoups later but right now he just had to get out of there.  

Hoshi  - Always acts up more when you're around to show off

Like your boyfriend Wonwoo you were more reserved and didn't speak too much in group settings but that just made Hoshi even more curious about you. He was comfortable in social situations and so he did everything in his power to get you to pay attention to him. He'd yell, jump around and provoke his members but if he got even a smile from you he considered it all worth it. 

That’s why Hoshi always suggested everyone play a game when you came over. It gave him the perfect opportunity to interact with you or even in exceptional circumstances like tonight be put on the same team as you. Hoshi was sat beside you and sure Wonwoo was on your other side but this was still his greatest dream. So he was louder, more charismatic and the most dramatic he’d been in a long time. Which the members caught onto. 

"Does anyone else notice Hoshi is louder when we have company?" Seungkwan asked. Dino nodded "yeah, I think he likes the attention or something". Scoups shook his head, he knew exactly the reason why Hoshi acted the way he did but there was no way he was going to out his friend like that. "Hoshi just likes people" he shrugged and hoped the members wouldn't notice how his eyes were glued to you, even at this very moment but all you could see was Wonwoo. Hoshi liked a challenge but this might be one he couldn’t win.

Wonwoo - Listens to everything you say

"Eugh I have no idea what to get y/n for her birthday!" Dk cried and Wonwoo looked at your boyfriend quizzically. "Come on you must have some clue, what have you got so far?". "A card" Dk said and Wonwoo frowned "that's it?". Dk frowned “I made it myself...she's really hard to shop for okay! She never tells me what she wants so I’m really stuck". Wonwoo nodded "didn't she just move into a new apartment?". Dk nodded "yeah so?". "So...she probably doesn't have a lot of things yet, maybe you could get her something for her new home?". "Like what...a microwave?". "I was thinking something more sentimental, like a nice houseplant or a plaque she can hang somewhere, she's always talking about how she forgets things so maybe you could get her a chalkboard or something organisational". Dk nodded "yeah that's a good idea thanks Wonwoo". 

Wonwoo nodded pleased when he saw Dk seemed to think that was the job done. "But you know you have to get her more than that don't you?" he asked. Dk sighed "like what!". Wonwoo resisted the urge to scold him and instead carried on "well some baked goods are always nice, what about that cupcake shop she likes so much?". Dk paused "what shop?”. "The one around the corner from her work? The one she always brings you a brownie from". "Ow yeah I could get her a cake from there, maybe chocolate". 

Wonwoo paused recalling you didn't like chocolate cake "or maybe something fruity considering it’s summer". Dk nodded "yeah good idea! Also maybe some wine?". "Well y/n's doing that detox thing right so many not alcohol, what about flowers?". "Yeah! Now which one is her favourite again". "I'm not sure but she likes blue right? Why not some bluebells?". Dk smirked "Wonwoo you are a genius! I think you know my girlfriend better than me " and he rushed from the room. Wonwoo nodded feeling sad "yeah maybe I do".

Woozi  - Makes a song about you

Like The8 you were very fashionable and always looked good so you were pretty much destined to be a muse for a song. Sure enough it was one of the first things Woozi thought about you and initially, he judged you on it. 

He cast you off as a conceited idol only bothered about their image but the more he got to know you the more he realised he was wrong. You were also very kind, intelligent and funny. With each realisation Woozi got angrier and angrier because it became impossible for him to deny his feelings for you. When he couldn't take it any longer he just barricaded himself in his studio and poured his heart out into his music. It took him nearly 3 days of almost constant work but he ignored all his members' calls and worries and kept going. When it was done he felt like a weight had been lifted. He still cared about you but now he had a physical outlet for it. The members and company all loved his song and it was released on the next album. Every time Woozi performed it he thought of you and every time he sang those words it was you he was singing to. 

Once an interview remarked on how beautiful and emotional the song was and asked where it came from. Everyone looked to Woozi who said it came from his own life experience. Some of the members laughed “but you haven’t even dated anyone!” Hoshi cried. Woozi shrugged “you don’t have to date someone to fall in love” and all the members woahed thinking it was another line but it wasn’t. Woozi meant every word. 

Dk - Tries really hard to make you laugh

Dk would've been obsessed with you even if you didn't have one of the most specific senses of humour ever. You were very cool and had a punk vibe to you which Dk was immediately attracted to...but you were dating Woozi so of course he never intended to act on it. However when Woozi proudly announced you were very hard to make laugh and only he could do it, Dk took that as a personal challenge. 

He began making it his mission to make you not just smile but laugh too. He tried everything, all his usual material, the seal joke, the being loud, the moving weirdly but nothing seemed to work. Then one day after he made a really corny dad joke you burst out laughing. Dk looked around stunned but nobody else was there. It was just the two of you but you were definitely laughing. You held your sides "that joke was so bad but it really got me". Dk grinned "you like that? Well there's more where it came from" and he launched into several similar jokes which provoked the same reaction. "Stop it you'll make me crack a rib" you smiled at him and Dk grinned "fine but now I know what material you like I'll be repeating this often" and he meant it. 

Dk thought you looked beautiful when you laughed and he wanted to bring out that happiness in you whenever he could. So he vowed he would, he might not be able to date you but he could always make you smile and that was almost as good. 

The8 - Makes sure your boyfriend looks good enough to be with you

The8 and you were friends before you started dating Mingyu and while that slightly bothered him he knew he truly had nobody to blame but himself. Mingyu had seen how great you were and done something about it while The8 was still busy overthinking the whole thing. 

So The8 never got his chance with you but he still cared for you and showed it in numerous ways...like making sure Mingyu always looked good. It wasn’t a hard job by any means but you had a similar fashion sense to The8 and loved to take couple photos. You once confessed Mingyu didn’t dress up as much for said photos and that you wish he did. So The8 offered to help Mingyu with his wardrobe and took him on a shopping spree picking out lots of items he knew would look good on Mingyu AND that you’d like. He hyped Mingyu up and told him he should wear them on his next date. Mingyu was very flattered and agreed to buy the items very enthusiastically. 

The8 supposed some might’ve thought him stupid for helping the boyfriend of the girl he’s interested in but he didn’t see it that way. He saw it as helping two people he cared for and so he was happy knowing the two of you were together. If he couldn’t date you he was just pleased someone like Mingyu could.   

Mingyu - Cooks your favourite meal “by chance”

Mingyu was not the type to “steal” one of his friend’s partners. He knew given his looks a lot of the members thought he could easily do that to them but he wouldn’t and with you he doubted anyone could steal you away from Seungkwan. The two of you had been together for years and you were so in love with him it would’ve been nice to see...if Mingyu didn’t also have feelings for you. 

So this was all to say he wasn’t cooking your favourite meal for any long-term goal. He just knew there was nothing better than a good home-cooked meal after you’d been on tour so he offered to help Seunkwan make it and of course the boy agreed. Mingyu did all the shopping, prepping, cooking and plating and then gave Seungkwan the credit. Mingyu didn’t really mind, he just wanted your first night back home to be good and hoped his cooking might contribute to that. 

You showed up while Mingyu was still cleaning the kitchen so he saw your reaction when Seungkwan said what you were having for dinner. You got so excited and happy. You confessed you hadn’t been eating properly and couldn’t think of anything better. Mingyu smiled seeing how happily you tucked into the food and then excused himself so the two of you could be alone. 

15 minutes later Mingyu heard a knock on his door and opened it to find you standing there. “Hey do you have a sec?” you asked and Mingyu nodded letting you inside, inwardly cursing himself for not tidying his already clean room. You smiled at him “so I just wanted to say...I love Seungkwan but I know he’s a terrible cook and so there’s no way he made dinner. You’re the only one who can cook this well here so I know it was you and I want to say thank you. I really appreciate you doing this for him”. “I didn’t do it for him” Mingyu said and then froze at your reaction. “I did it because you’re our friend y/n” he said quickly with a fake friendly smile and you immediately relaxed. “Thanks Mingyu that’s so sweet! I’m really glad we’re friends”. Mingyu nodded “yeah me too, now get back to him!”. You nodded and with one final smile disappeared back out of the door. Mingyu sighed wondering why he put himself through all this but he knew why. Seeing you happy made it all worth it, even if it wasn’t with him. 

Seungkwan - Invites you to absolutely everything

Seungkwan hated himself for liking his best friend’s girlfriend but he couldn't seem to help it! Every time he was around you he fell deeper and deeper and even though he knew he should probably be avoiding you he found he couldn’t. So as he was getting ready for his parents’ anniversary party his thought were firmly on you and if he should’ve told Vernon he’d invited you. As if reading his thoughts Vernon paused “erm why did y/n just text me asking if there’s somehwere she can park her car?” Vernon asked. Seungkwan paused “ow didn’t I tell you? I invited y/n tonight”. Seungkwan held his breath waiting to see Vernon’s reaction but Vernon just shrugged “cool, I mean I figured it would just be your family and a few close friends but if your family are happy...”. Seungkwan nodded “yeah I mentioned it to them and they said it’s fine. I haven’t seen y/n in ages...and of course it’s been a few days for you too so I thought it’d be nice. “Didn’t you see her like 5 days ago?” Vernon asked. Seungkwan nodded “yeah but that was only for 2 hours cus she had to rush off to work”. Vernon smirked  “I think you just like seeing my girlfriend” he joked and Seungkwan laughed loudly before quickly leaving the room. 

He went outside for some air and of course saw you parking up. You got out, not spotting him and started struggling with the present in your hand. Seungkwan rushed over to help you, he caught it just as it fell out of your hand. You gasped before smiling “Seungkwan! Thank you so much, you just saved my life”. Seungkwan smiled “y/n you didn’t have to get my parents a present!” but you just shook your head. “Of course I did! I couldn’t just turn up empty-handed”. Seungkwan shook his head before noticing what you were wearing. You had a blue suit on and looked beautiful. Seungkwan struggled to speak but when he got it together he smiled “y/n you look amazing, is that a new suit?”. You looked down “this? No I’ve had it for years but never had a special occasion for it so figured I’d wear it today”. Seungkwan was just about to tell you it was a good choice when someone called his name. 

He turned to see his sister and waved. She came over and began scolding him for missing the party when she noticed you. “Ow, hello” she said and you smiled back. “This is y/n” Seungkwan said and his sister nodded “ow y/n! Seungkwan’s told us a lot about you, he’s very fond of you”. You smiled “aww that’s so sweet i’m very fond of him too” and you lightly squeezed his arm. Seungkwan blushed but you didn’t notice because Vernon had appeared. He waved to you and you waved back “sorry please excuse me, I can see my boyfriend” and you rushed away into Vernon’s arms. Seungkwan watched with a sad expression on his face and his sister sighed “so that’s the girl you’ve been in love with for years huh?”. Seungkwan was going to argue with her but then he decided not to. “Yeah” he nodded “I know i’m pathetic”. His sister shook her head “not at all! I know it hurts now but we can’t choose who we fall in love with so there’s no point beating yourself up about that...but the good news is she won’t be your only love. You’ll fall in love again and someday this will just be a distant memory”. Seungkwan nodded “I hope so”. “I know so” his sister smiled linking their arms “now let’s go enjoy this wonderful night for our parents” and they walked inside together. 

Vernon - Acts very awkward around you and stumbles over his words

Vernon never really got crushes. He just wasn’t the type of person to fall in love easily and it almost never happened based on sight but with you it did. Dino came home with you one day from dinner and Vernon felt this immediate attraction to you. It was so unexpected Vernon didn’t know what to do with the emotion and so he was awkward around you every time. You’d been dating Dino for over a year by this point but still Vernon blushed if you made eye contact with him and felt like his legs were turning to jelly. So when you accidentally mistook him for Dino he almost lost his mind. 

It was Halloween and the whole group had gone to Scoups’ for a costume party. Vernon was having a good time watching all his members get drunk when he felt some arms around his waist. He naturally tensed at the action but he got even more rigid when he heard your voice. "I've been looking everywhere for you! How about we sneak away and..." you whispered in his ear when you finally saw his face. "Vernon!" you cried moving your hands from his body. "I'm so sorry I thought you were Dino, are you wearing the same costume?". "Erm no he's Luigi and I'm Mario...I mean I'm Mario and he’s Luigi. They're different...". You nodded "ow right, well I'm so sorry for grabbing you! I promise I had no idea, you know I’d never presume to touch someone like that”. Vernon “of course I know you’d never grab someone...don’t worry i’m not offended and not just because I know you, I can’t imagine anyone would ever be angry with you. Or if they were as soon as you spoke to them they’d get it and forgive you so erm don’t worry” he said wincing. You laughed “thanks Vernon! You having a good time?”.  He nodded “yep” feeling really warm all of a sudden “nice outfit” he said noticing you were dressed as Captain Marvel. You grinned “thanks! I don’t watch every Marvel film and I know you’re a big fan so that’s probably sacrilege but I watched Captain Marvel and loved it so Dino suggest I come as her”. Vernon nodded along “that was a good idea it suits you...I mean you look like her, well not really because she’s white and blonde but you don’t look weird in the outfit or anything”. You laughed “that’s exactly what I was going for, not weird” you joked and Vernon laughed along awkwardly. 

“Hey y/n” someone called you and turned to see Dino waving at you across the room. “There he is! I’m gonna go see where he’s been for the last half hour, you wanna come?”. Vernon shook his head “no I’m yes thanks. I mean i’m okay....good. Thank you”. You smiled “no worries, see you later” and walked away. Vernon let out a big breath once you’d left, feeling as if he’d just run a marathon or something. He loved talking to you but found it terrifying every time.  

Dino -  Challenges your boyfriend all the time

Dino isn’t naturally a mean person but sometimes his ego gets the better of him and he couldn’t resist dragging your boyfriend Scoups a little. It’d be about anything really, when he gets the choreo before him, when Scoups had a big birthday coming up or when he was beating him in a game...

Dino finally hopped out of his hiding spot and shot Scoups’ avatar killing his final life. Dino’s team all cheered and he was the loudest one out of all of them. “What do you think of that hyung?” he called “told you I was going to beat you didn’t I? Well look at it now!”. The others all laughed as Dino continued to strut around and celebrated his victory.

Later on Scoups approached Dino when he left the room to get a drink “hey Dino can we talk for a second?”. Dino was slightly unsure but then he remembered you and his cockiness returned “erm sure but only if it’s really quick”. Scoups nodded “don’t worry it will be. Have I done something to offend you?”. Dino frowned “what makes you say that?”. “I don’t know I just feel this weird tension between us lately...I might be reading too much into things but I just wanted to mention it so I can apologise if I have upset you in any way”. Dino immediately felt guilty for laying into Scoups so much and he shook his head “no you haven’t. I’ve just been a little down lately and I think I’ve been taking it out on you so it’s me who should be sorry”. Scoups frowned “why what’s going on?”. Dino sighed “I just...all of you have such good partners and I don’t sometimes it makes me feel a bit jealous. I want that, I see you and y/n together and how perfect you are for one another and I...just get weird. I’m sorry...” he started but Scoups shook his head “it’s okay, I know it can be lonely sometimes but don’t worry you could find someone like that and even if you don’t you’re a great guy with so many friends and people who love you. You don’t need anyone to complete you or cement your success in life. You’re that person. Okay?”.  Dino suddenly remembered all the adoration and love he felt for his hyung and nodded “yeah I understand, thanks Scoups that's just what I needed”. Scoups smiled “anytime, now let’s go back inside. I left Jeonghan alone so he’s probably manipulated everyone into choosing him as the winner and they walked back in together. 

[squadmuse]

EVERYTHING

A SONNY CARISI X FEMALE READER STORY

WORD COUNT: 642 | ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE | REQUESTED BY @polkadotpenguin16 (THANKS SO MUCH, SHORT & SWEET FOR YOU)

It was a cold, rainy and miserable day in New York City.

Even though you were snuggled safely away in the warmth and comfort of your office, you couldn’t help but feel depressed by the sudden change of weather. You didn’t get a lot of free time as being the Assistant District Attorney for Manhattan’s homicide division meant that you were basically always on call, either for subpoenas or whatever else and you couldn’t help but sigh, as you had planned to surprise your boyfriend this afternoon with a nice lunch in the park.

You were a lucky lady to have met Sonny Carisi, let alone fall in love with him and him with you. You had been introduced to him by your boss, Jack McCoy nearly a year and a half ago as Sonny had recently joined the district attorney’s office. The two of you had kicked it off quite quickly, helping each other out with cases if needed and having lunch together in his office or your own, and it hadn’t taken long for the two of you to start dating. Sonny Carisi was a dream of a boyfriend, and he deserved the world and more in your opinion.

Sonny had bonded over food with you, and lunchtime was usually a moment of peace and quiet together away from the havoc of the courthouse and the pandemonium of cases. So when he had been working a high profile rape-murder case, it had been wearing your boyfriend down and you wanted to do something special. So you had planned to gather your gangly noodle of a lover and head to Gennaro’s Trattoria for a takeout lunch of his favourite pasta and cannoli too. The little Italian trattoria had become a firm favourite of you both, as it was close to the offices of One Hogan Place where you both worked.

But now those plans were scuppered by the rain and cold weather, you had already got soaked just coming to work this morning and didn’t want to risk it again - you had been sneezing on and off all day since, and all you wanted was some fresh, warm and filling homemade soup. You wondered if Sonny would be up for making some later tonight.

You had just popped some cold relief tablets into your mouth with a gulp of water when your boyfriend wandered into your office and his happy expression fell as he saw how you were. Sonny instantly rushed over to you and started fretting and worrying over you, pressing the palm of his hand against your forehead and sighing. He crouched down beside you, your boyfriend was quite tall.

“Sweetheart, why didn’t ya tell me ya were comin' down with somethin'? I coulda brought ya some hot tea and something warm for you ta eat,” murmured Sonny quickly as he held your hand. He hated it when you were unwell or ill, it stressed him out seeing you so unusually downtrodden or off.

You shrugged, but ended up groaning as you felt the start of a sore head. Working with a cold was the worst and you were depressed about your wrecked plans. “I didn’t want to worry you, I know you’ve been real stressed out, darling,” you whispered quietly to Sonny, watching his beautiful blue eyes.

Sonny sighed softly as he stood up, taking off his suit jacket and quickly hanging it on your coat hook before coming back to you. Effortlessly, your boyfriend lifted you up into his lean yet strong arms.

“Ya can call me whenever you want… Even if you don’t have a reason to,” said Sonny as he sat you in his lap on your office couch, snuggling you into his broad body. “But you can always and forever call me anytime if you’re unwell and I’ll come runnin', you’re my everythin' doll.”

[sillingers]

nick blankenburg on ‘the inside edge’ radio show 2.15.23

i listened to this live and tried to take as many notes for characterization and blanks tidbits as possible so here we go:

didn’t start working out until freshmen year of college officially

likes lower body workouts best

is looking for a new gym this summer and might work with z

has yet to see z in the gym bc of his injury but says he’s a ‘beast’ in the room

jody shelley complimented his ‘big’ thighs. nick said they’ve ‘been bigger’ but he had less rigorous offseason training this summer bc of his knee surgery. jody then told nick ‘sorry i didnt mean to be looking at you’ because nick ‘looked like he was about to run out of the room’ in their opinion, and nick joked that he was wearing shorts so they’re out there. this whole ordeal was a lot to take in.

he said ‘oh yeah’ about ten times in two minutes with varying degrees of breathiness/elongation. i can let you interpret that as you will.

loves hitting people. says he always played physical because he grew up with an older brother and that’s just always been his game, so he doesn’t foresee it changing.

but he is working on being more intentional and careful with where he places his body on plays, as well as his off ice routines, to stay healthy and not be injured

adamantly refuses to dial down his physicality

thinks his compete and physicality is one of the reasons he’s here, he’s always played that way and it’s just who he is as a player

says being a right handed d on the left side is a challenge and it’s pushing him to be better

is a good lesson/challenge for him

good to have on his resume that he can play either side wherever he’s needed

stressed several times that he just wants to do what’s best for the team and do whatever it takes to play for them and just help the team anyway he can, whether that’s playing a different side or a special team or whatnot

just genuinely happy to be here and wants to do everything and anything he can

did not catch every detail but he talked specifically about the challenges of being a right shot on the left side like when peeker is feeding him passes on the point or when they’re going to break up ice and he’s catching pucks on his strong or weak side differently than he’s used to

when he was out for 9 weeks he spent a lot of time watching his game tape and trying to improve his play, he watches ‘probably all the game tape i have’ 

tries to stay positive and not be too hard on himself when injured and he doesn’t think any of the injuries he’s had even back at umich were a result of him playing too physical (read: yappy chihuahua wants to be an ankle biter and refuses to stop. denies that being an ankle biter has ever gotten him in any trouble)

says sometimes he thinks his family and friends know his game better than he does because they always tune in and text him after his games

loves the traveling that comes with being an nhl player, thinks he’s really lucky to have this job because it’s an easy and fun job that not many people get

“if you told me maybe 6 or 7 years ago that i’d be here i’d have never believed you”

really likes meeting all the fans and seeing them at warmups

definitely misses yost especially after getting to go back with kj

actually misses his classes. he studied international studies which dealt with political and economic development, he had lots of case studies of nations where a political/economic structure was either a great success or big failure

had to take 6 semesters of a language as required for his major. lasted 2 days in spanish, then tried german but it was too hard. he settled on swahili, which he took for 4 semesters, and then quechua (a latin american language he thinks is from peru but honestly couldn’t tell you where it’s from); said these were with 3 other unnamed teammates

wants to go on a mission trip in africa and hopes he can use his swahili notes there. is willing to teach jody but ‘it might cost you something’ because the class was expensive

loves cbus bc it feels like a college town just like ann arbor

didn’t think he’d ever actually say he loves columbus ohio but here he is

also loves how close it is (3 hours) to home

he’s really blessed to be here and couldn’t be happier with how it all worked out and the chance he has thanks to the jackets

the city and the fans have welcomed him so nicely

lives downtown in an apartment which is close by ‘the other young guys’ , they all live nearby 

says they do a lot of group dinners and will watch golf or football or some sport on tv together

loves that they have such a big group of young guys and they have that connection with each other and he has the ability to hang out with all them

primarily does hang out with the younger guys. likes having people around his age bc it reminds him of college. another thing he likes ab cbus is its a young city thanks to all the college kids/recent grads

also loves the restaurants cbus has (he didn’t name any in particular but said they’re all great)

is going to dinner with some of the umich guys before their games against osu, is hoping naur lets them out of team dinner to see him and kj

jody asked if nick would pay and he said he’d take his card out but that he hopes kj takes his card out too so they can split the bill

they brought up the osu-umich outdoor game, which nick said is an awesome opportunity to play in and looks super fun

played an outdoor game vs. notre dame, actually played against peeke who was at nd at the time. umich won 

very humble and appreciative of the opportunity he has to play in the nhl and live out his dream and do something he loves every night

the 82 game schedule is definitely hard mentally but that the challenges have made him a better person (yes, he specified person, not hockey player)

jody said that this and his positive mindset are a great attitude to have and will ‘help him stay here for a long time’ 

i just think jody loves nick as much as the rest of us

sometimes still pinches himself to see if it’s real 

jody shelley is obsessed with nick blankenburg just like me fr 

i think this is it he actually talked a lot so it was hard to keep track of everything but this is definitely all the main things

[x-ceirios-x]

City of Lost Souls, Chapter 18: Raziel

please see the masterlist for notes about this series/collection of works

Simon stood up from his place resting in the grass and brushed off his jeans, then led the way down to the wandering path through the orchard. As he and Rowan neared it, Simon could see the old dock sticking out into the water, where he, Clary, and Luke had once tied up kayaks before a big piece of the dock had broken off and drifted away. He thought he could almost hear the lazy hum of bees and feel the weight of summer on his shoulders. As they reached the lake’s edge, he twisted around and looked up at the farmhouse, white-painted clapboard with green shutters and an old covered sun porch with tired white-wicker furniture on it. 

“I can tell you liked it here,” they said carefully. They hadn’t spoken to him since the car ride, other than to tell him it was time. Magnus was prepared to raise an angel. 

“Can you?” 

“Your expression,” they said. “You look happy. Like this was a happy place for you.”

“It was. It is,” Simon said. He reached up to push his glasses up his nose, remembered he no longer wore them, and lowered his hand. “I was lucky.”

They looked down at the lake. Their hair was getting longer, he noticed, longer than it was when they first met. A single, loose curl hung to the side of their hair, refusing to follow the path everything else did. It tangled in their earring, a bar that cut straight across the top of their ear. He wanted to reach over and fix it for them, to put it carefully back in place. 

“Hey,” he said suddenly, cutting through the silence. He took a step forward to stand next to them. “About the conversation in the car—”

“Now’s not the time—”

“It’s never the time,” he said, more desperation in his voice than he would have liked. He consciously took a breath to steady himself, a habit he didn’t need as a vampire but never broke. “Let me say this. Please.”

They turned, albeit slowly, towards him and said nothing. This was the time he’d been waiting for. Weeks of waiting, wondering, hoping they would feel the same way…

“In case I don't make it out of this—”

“Don’t talk like that.” 

“Listen, Rowan. Please,” he said. He grabbed their hands and held them tight. “I know you. I know you’re strong, you’re capable, and you’re everything that Team Good needs to work our way out of this. And I know that the opinion of a few arrogant Clave people, or even your family—it’s not going to stop you from being exactly who you are.”

They stared blankly at him, their eyebrows raised in surprise. He had so much more he wanted to say, he needed to say, but the words died on his tongue. I like who you are, he wanted to say. You deserve so much more than I can give you, than what the world can give you, but I hope it’s enough for you.

“You’re coming back,” they said, giving little acknowledgement to what he said, though he knew they heard it. “I know you’re coming back to me.”

“Rowan, I–” he hesitated. It was now or never. “I lo–”

“All right,” Magnus called out. “I’m done. Simon, over here.”

They turned. Simon was standing inside the circle, which was glowing with a faint white light. It was really two circles, a slightly smaller one inside a larger one, and in the space between the circles, a dozen symbols had been scrawled. They, too, glowned, a steely blue-white like the reflection off the lake. 

Simon heard Rowan’s soft intake of breath, and he stepped away before he could look at them. It would make it all harder. He could have stayed, finished the words he’d been dying to tell them, but he couldn’t. His focus, and confidence, had to go towards this or he’d never survive.  

He moved forward, over the border of the circle, into its center, beside Magnus. Looking out from the center of the circle was like looking through water. The rest of the world seemed wavering and indistinct. 

“Here.” Magnus shoved the book into his hands. The paper was thin, covered in scrawled runes, but Magnus had taped a printout of the words, spelled out phonetically, over the incantation itself. “Just sound these out,” he muttered. “It should work.”

Holding the book against his chest, Simon slipped off the gold ring that connected him to Clary, and handed it to Magnus. “If it doesn’t,” he said, wondering where his strange calm was coming from, “someone should take this. It’s our only link to Clary, and what she knows.”

Magnus nodded and slid the ring onto his finger. “Ready, Simon?”

“Hey,” said Simon. “You remembered my name.”

Magnus shot him an unreadable glance from his green-gold eyes, and stepped outside the circle. Immediately he was blurry and indistinct too. Alec joined him on one side, Rowan on the other; Rowan was fidgeting with their ring, and even through wavering air Simon could tell how unhappy they looked. 

Simon cleared his throat. “I guess you guys had better go.”

But they didn’t move. They seemed to be waiting for him to say something else.”

“Thanks for coming here with me,” he said finally, having racked his brain for something meaningful to say; they seemed to be expecting it. He wasn’t the sort who made big farewell speeches or big, dramatic good-byes. He looked at Alec first. “Um, Alec. I always liked you better than I liked Jace.” He turned to Magnus. “Magnus, I wish I had the nerve to wear the kind of pants you do.”

And last, Rowan. He would see them watching him through the haze, their eyes partially covered by a sheet of dark, curly hair hanging over their forehead. 

“Rowan,” said Simon. He looked at them. He saw the questioning in their eyes, but there seemed nothing he could say in front of Alec and Magnus, nothing that would encompass what he felt. He knew what he wanted to say earlier, what he’d wanted to say for a long time. I love you.

He moved back, towards the center of the circle, bowing his head. “Good-bye, I guess.”

He thought they spoke back to him, but the wavering haze between them blurred their words.he watched as they turned, retreating up the path through the orchard, back towards the house, until they had become dark specks. Until he could no longer see them at all. 

He couldn’t quite fathom not talking to Clary one last time before he died—he couldn’t even remember the last words they’d exchanged. And yet if he closed his eyes, he could hear her laughter drifting over the orchard; he could remember what it had been like, before they had grown up and everything had changed. If he died here, perhaps it would be appropriate. Some of his best memories were here after all. If the angel struck him down with fire, his ashes could sit through the apple orchard and over the lake.Something about the idea seemed peaceful. 

He thought of Rowan. Then of his family—his mother, his father, and Becky. Clary, he thought lastly. Wherever you are, you're my best friend. You’ll always be my best friend.

He raised the spell book and began to chant. 

[amuseoffyre]

Don’t Tell Mama - #455 & #456

“Just down here,” Ed said, pointing along the narrow road. “Third house along.”

Stede turned the car, following Ed’s directions. They were only a few hundred metres from the coast and the back of the village was hemmed in by the edge of the forest. “The yellow one?”

Ed nodded, leaning forward and bracing his arm on the dashboard, then broke into a grin when the door of the house opened. “Looks like someone was waiting for us.” He raised his hand in a wave. “You can park up on the green bit there.”

The house faced onto a wide-open stretch of grass and Stede was relieved to see the marks of other tires. It would’ve been embarrassing to find out he’d parked on someone’s lawn.

He glanced at Ed anxiously, fidgeting with his bowtie. “Do I look all right?”

Ed caught his hand and gave it a squeeze. “Always.”

Stede made a face at him. “I think you have a biased opinion.”

“Or I’m always right,” Ed replied with a cocky grin. His hand landed on Stede’s and gave them a squeeze. “C’mon.” Yesterday, he’d been so tense and coiled up and the way he scrambled out of the car, grinning from ear to ear, was enough to reassure Stede that he was feeling much happier. He leaned down. “Are you just gonna sit there, mate? Come on!”

Getting out, Stede smoothed down his floral shirt and draped his light jacket over his arm. He hadn’t gone fully frilly or layered, not when the sun was out and it was pleasantly warm, but he still wanted a flash of colour. Ed had stolen one of his other short-sleeved shirts, a bright red number, and it looked stunning on him.

Hurrying after his lover, Stede couldn’t help smiling as Ed strode right up to the house and the elderly lady waiting the for him. He wasn’t close enough to hear what Ed said, but his aunt chuckled and they both turned to look at him and, oh, the resemblance was strong, those same creases of humour around both their eyes. Something about the smile as well.

“Kia ora!” he said brightly, closing the distance between them and holding out a hand. “I’m Stede.”

Ed’s auntie clasped his hand with a surprisingly strong grip. “Huihana, but you can call me auntie, or whaea, everyone does.”

Stede stared at her, his heart doing a strange hop in his chest. Auntie. He’d never had an auntie before.  “Oh! Yes! Of course! Auntie!” He gave her hand an enthusiastic shake. “I’m very happy to have the chance to meet you!”

She chuckled. “It’s good to meet you too.”

“And,” Stede said and withdrew the navy blue and gold box he’d been hiding under his jacket and held it out. He’d picked up the chocolates from one of his favourite chocolatiers in London, pretty and delicious and perfect as a gift. “A token to thank you for your hospitality.”

Huihana’s face creased up with even more laughter lines. “Thank you.” She gestured for them to come into the house. “Come on. Kai’s nearly ready.”

Stopping on the threshold to untie his boots, Ed had a beatific grin on his face. “So this is why your case was heavy?” he said. “You’ve been sneaking stuff in?”

“Only a little bit,” Stede said with a sheepish smile as he tugged his laces loose. “And if you’d known they were there, they never would have got here.”

“Hey!”

“Sad but true.”

Ed scoffed fondly and headed on, so Stede followed him into the house, glancing around with curiosity. Everything about it felt so cosy and well-loved and warm. He could see family pictures, drawings by small hands, hand-made cushions and blankets.

In the kitchen, Huihana waved them over to the well-worn table in the middle of the room, from where she was checking a pot at the hob. It was already laid with places and dishes all out for them and a pitcher of some kind of fruity juice.

“Do you need a hand, auntie?” Ed asked, rubbing his hands together. Somehow, he looked years younger, shifting anxiously, eagerly, from foot to foot. “I can carry things or pour things or take things out–”

“Or sit down at the table,” she replied with a laugh, lifting the pot. She shooed him back with a waved elbow and a stern look and carried the pot over to the wooden board on the table. Ed dropped down into the seat beside Stede, all wide-eyed innocence. “Don’t you try that face with me, boy,” she scolded fondly. “It’s never worked.”

“At least let me do the dishes, yeah?”

“I can help,” Stede added quickly with a hopeful smile. “We’re a good team, he and I.”

She gave him an amused, thoughtful look. “So he tells me.” She uncovered the pot, a waft of fragrant steam spreading over the table. The pot was filled with a gorgeous simmering mass of vegetables and meat.

“That smells amazing,” Stede blurted out. “It’s like that stew you make, Ed.”

Ed’s face did something funny and he looked up at his aunt. “Yeah,” he said softly. “It’s the one thing mum could make. Said it reminded her of home.”

“And you learned to make it too,” Huihana said warmly.

Stede glanced between them, both of their expressions complicated and layered with so much that he knew he was missing. Tentatively, he rubbed Ed’s elbow with his own in silent support and got a small, watery smile for it.

“Well,” he said as brightly as he could, “I’m sure they’re both equally as delicious! It certainly smells it!”

Huihana chuckled. “I do like an enthusiastic guest,” she said.

“You’re gonna love him,” Ed said fondly, looking back at Stede.

“Ed!” Stede pinked a bit.

“Oh shut up, Mr. Enthusiasm,” Ed scoffed, knocking their shoulders together. “It’s a compliment.”

Still hot-cheeked, Stede ducked his head with a smile. “Then thank you.”

  _____________________________________

 It had been a hell of a day. All good, but so much too.

They’d eaten together and they’d ended up talking for hours and then Stede pulled out his phone and suggested showing Auntie H some photos from the Revenge and the plans and their squad and everything and Ed fucking loved him. He fucking loved this. Never imagined he could’ve had it, not in a month of Sundays, and here he was.

Auntie H took them for a walk around the village as well. To show it off to his man, she teased when Stede was in the bathroom. Ed knew he’d blushed like a schoolboy but he didn’t fucking care. He’d offered his arm and she’d held it as they walked. Saw the places where mum used to go, where she swam, where she went with her friends.

It was like a big fucking bubble in his chest, getting bigger and bigger by the moment, because it was all so tangible and real and here and fuck, it was all the stuff she’d tried to tell him about and all the stuff he hadn’t heard when he was being a stroppy brat.

Didn’t realise he’d gone quiet until Stede was at his other side, touching his elbow.

“Ed? You all right?”

He looked between them, between two concerned faces, and managed a nod. “A lot, is all,” he said, heart in his throat.

Auntie H pressed her hand against his forearm. “You still up for meeting more people at the weekend?”

Was he? Yes, definitely, but also, oh fuck fuck fuck. “Uh.”

“You’ve only had 48 hours to adjust to everything,” Stede said, being suspiciously reasonable about everything for once. “You’ve got a few more days.”

“Yeah,” Ed said, nodding. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. It’ll be fine.”

Auntie H eyed him. “You sure, moko? Don’t want to get you all tangled up.”

He leaned into her a bit, his fingers all twitchy against his palms. “If no one minds if I fuck off down to the beach for a bit if it gets too much, I’ll be good,” he promised. “I just– yeah, like I said, it’s all of a lot.”

“It is,” Auntie H agreed with a smaller, sadder smile.

Had to lean down and hug her for that and wasn’t surprised when she gave him a hug around his middle.

“Thank you,” he whispered close to her ear.

“For what, boy?” Her voice was just as soft.

“For just… taking me as me.”

She drew back and gazed up at him, warmth in her eyes. “Who else would you be?” She considered him. “I didn’t break your news to everyone,” she said. “About your life, your work, your man. Your place to tell them what you want to.”

And keeping him safe in case he wasn’t ready for them to know all that.

“Thanks, auntie,” he managed.

“I can be your very good friend,” Stede added from beside him. “Your faithful business partner and loyal and dependable travelling companion, here to be your emotional support.”

Ed couldn’t help laughing a bit. “Maybe don’t put it like that,” he said. “Sounds a bit gay.”

“Does it?” Stede blinked owlishly. “Damn. I’ll have to put on my heterosexual trousers.” He made a show of putting his hands in fists on his hips, tugging his chin in and when he spoke, dropped the pitch of his voice by a few levels. “Well, mate, I’m his business partner and we do shit like… go fishing and play the sport with the ball and… drink beer?”

Auntie H cackled so loudly Ed jumped, even though he was shaking with laughter himself.

“Maybe you’re better being yourself,” she said, grinning at Stede.

“Oh thank God!” Stede clutched his chest in mock relief. “I don’t think I could keep that up more than five minutes.”

“You’re such a fucking weirdo,” Ed said happily, knocking their elbows together.

“Said the pot to the kettle,” Stede said with a smug little sniff, then turned his attention to auntie H. “Is there anything we can bring on Saturday? Dessert or something?”

“Don’t you boys worry about any of that,” she said firmly. “I’ve got it all sorted out.”

Ed saw the familiar speculative glint in Stede’s eyes and leaned down towards her to confide, “He’s gonna bring cupcakes or something. Bet he already has them pre-ordered.”

“Ed!” Stede huffed. “Don’t spoil the surprise.”

“Not really a surprise when it’s written all over your face, love,” Ed countered with a chuckle. He looked back at auntie H, who was watching them with amusement. “What?”

“You two,” she said, “like an old married couple already.”

And okay, yeah, that made him grin from ear to fucking ear with delight.

Prev / Next

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hi! I've been thinking about this lately and I want to know your opinion. Let's say that Satoru is in love with this person but no one knows about his feelings, not even suguru. Suguru on his side is also in love with this person, and eventually they start dating. Satoru feels hurt but decides not to say anything because he doesn't want to ruin his friend's happiness but Suguru eventually finds out that Satoru is in love with his partner, What do you think Suguru's reaction would be in this situation?

👀👀👀👀👀👀 this is ……… a really interesting scenario actually.

ultimately i think everything boils down to the fact that satoru and suguru love each other too. the specific kind of love doesn’t matter much, (though i do think it’s a little insane to insist that there’s Nothing romantic there ..) because they love each other so wholly!!!!! they’re best friends!!!!!!! :((( and that’s such a powerful thing for them. i couldn’t imagine stsg having a falling out over something like this because no matter the universe they’re easily the most important people in each other’s lives.

so…….. tbh!! i think a lot of it depends on who this person is to them. if it’s just a tiny crush or whatever then i think stsg will get over it easily because their bond is so much stronger than that, but if you’re someone they love as deeply as each other then obviously it’s more complicated.

the contrast is interesting because both of them are kind of inherently self-destructive? in this specific case satoru is the one hiding his feelings, but if it was the other way around suguru absolutely would have done the same. that’s just how they are!! satoru would keep a respectful distance to make you and suguru happy, and suguru would choke down his own emotions for you and satoru’s sake. and both of them would feel betrayed once they found out about it!! NOT as in ”i can’t believe you like my s/o you piece of shit 😡😡” but more like…. ”i can’t believe you hid this from me. i can’t believe you let me make you unhappy without telling me about it.”

aaaaand in typical stsg fashion <333 i think they’d have to fight it out!! just a good ol shounen argument where they end up lying side by side exhausted after getting all their emotions out. and after that it’s a lot easier. at the end of the day they love each other, and they wouldn’t let that connection go for anything.

…. so. in conclusion!! i’m gonna be real with you anon i can’t picture this turning into anything except a stsg/reader situation 😭😭 the only exception would be if the person they like DOESN’T like satoru romantically bc obviously they’d never force you into anything!! but i do feel like this is destined to end with all of you in love and happy <3 i just really can’t picture a universe where stsg aren’t at least a little bit in love…… and even if it’s not romantic the love is strong enough that they’d be happy for each other. i can see satoru punching suguru’s shoulder and being like “you better treat them well, or i’ll steal them away!” and suguru just smiles and promises to do so because. well. he loves both of you so much. he wants to make you happy and he wants to honour satoru’s trust. you’re all important to each other in different ways.

those are just my spontaneous thoughts though. BUT my dear anon…. if you’re interested in something angsty on this concept then PLS do yourself a favour and read kairo’s suguru fic 😵‍💫 it changed my whole life. she did this concept so much justice and her prose is just beautiful <33

[super-hero-confessions]

I'm sorry, I couldn't stand Cassie Lang in Quantumania. I do want to elaborate though, because I really don't want this to come across as sexism, so long post. Thank you Super Hero Confessions for giving us a platform.

I can't talk about this on any social media without people telling me "why do you care you're a grown ass man" even though I'm a woman and younger than Kathryn Newton, the actress playing Cassie, but thanks for making assumptions and showcasing your need to put anyone with a different opinion in a box (a wrong box, at that).

Cassie is rude. Cassie puts Scott down. Her father. The father she loved so much in the first two Ant-Man movies and in Endgame, after losing him and thinking he was dead for 5 years. She's also inexplicably super smart out of nowhere. I'm no writer, but as a woman I can tell you this is not the way to write female characters. Or if it is the way, then it's not a way I can relate to.

To me, well written female characters are diverse. And by diverse I don't mean just racially diverse, although that too. For example let's take a look at the women of Wakanda. They're all black, but they're extremely diverse. Shuri is the brains, nerdy and fun, Okoye is the muscle, strong and badass, Nakia is the heart, kind and compassionate, Ramonda is the Queen, majestic and elegant. Even Riri, who is not from Wakanda and a bit similar to Shuri personality-wise, is endearing and entertaining. I love them because every one of them has a distinct personality. Something similar happens with the women of Guardians of the Galaxy. Gamora is strong and badass, but also compassionate. Nebula is the angry one, but deep down she's suffering because she just wanted a sister. Mantis is gentle and sweet and her power is her empathy. Again, distinct personalities. Love them. Valkyrie? Despite people claiming she had no remorse, I personally like her. She's deeply flawed. She turned to alcohol to numb her pain until she stopped giving a shit about others. I don't agree with her actions, but I'll take her over any female character who is so perfect it hurts. Once again... diversity. Women with incredibly diverse personalities from one another.

Examples like the ones I just mentioned make the world of female characters richer. And when people complain about "Mary Sues" yes sometimes it's just a sexist take, but sometimes it is true that recently we are getting characters like Cassie: arrogant yet loved by everyone around them, super strong, super smart, always right, effortlessly better than the male character at everything, no flaws other than being "too stubborn" or "too selfless"... Too perfect. I can't relate to that, but it's fine, I don't need to relate to a character if they're at least entertaining but that isn't the case. Because they try to make these characters so many things at once, they end up being nothing, and incredibly boring to watch. Or even worse, cringeworthy at times. I had to roll my eyes when Jen was ranting about mansplaining while explaining how to control your emotions to Bruce Banner/the Hulk. Yes, you can make a woman talk about mansplaining but not while explaining control of emotions to the HULK? She's doing the same thing she's complaining about? Like that's just. I am the target audience and I want to turn it off.

No woman is absolutely better than everyone at everything. It's why I mentioned how important it is to add distinct personalities and diversity. Some women are better at some things than others, and all are important regardless. Some women are very smart, some others are not intellectually gifted but have very big hearts, some have anger issues, some are funny, some others struggle and do shitty things, etc. Women are diverse which is why I don't like the generic, bland, perfect type, I feel as if the movie is grabbing me by the shirt and screaming "GIRLBOSS!! SLAY!! GIRL POWER AM I RIGHT?? FEEL EMPOWERED, WOMAN!!" at me. No, I'm sorry, I don't feel empowered over a character who, to show us how good and better and perfect she is, has to put her own father down, Scott Lang, of all people. Scott Lang! One of the most lovable superheroes!

Nothing screams "we actually think women are weak" more than actively putting the men down to attempt to make the women look stronger. Sure, maybe all the "straight white incel racist males" complain about this. But the implications are these. The implications are that a woman cannot appear strong unless the men are portrayed as weak. And as a woman I find it insulting.

I would like to know what you guys think. Feel free to start a debate if you want, respectfully please. One of my friends irl loved Cassie and if we can talk about this with respect, we all can. Ladies, what are your thoughts on this type of writing for woman superheroes? I want to hear the opinions of men as well (unless your arguments are straight up sexist) and I don't know, but I just really want, for female characters, the diversity and depth that most male characters have. I don't think I ask for much. Each character has their unique strengths and weaknesses, and it should be no different for female characters.

I do want to clarify though that I can understand this writing when there is only one woman in a major role, for example with the OG Avengers. Thor was the himbo, Tony was the genius, etc, but Natasha was the only woman Avenger at first so it's natural that they would make her be too many things, too perfect, too capable, smart, and compassionate. Context matters and I actually like Nat. But when you have multiple women in a movie and still choose to make a woman superhero a "Cassie," I say no thank you.

Thank you for reading!!

[alarrytale]

Hi Marte,

Do you have any strong belief about hl or their relationships but it’s not popular or not talked enough in the fandom?

Hi, anon!

I've been here for years so i think everything that's happened was talked to death back when it happened. So i don't think there is anything that hasn't been discussed. We all believe different things and some people put more weight on this and others that.

The only thing from the top of my head that i believe, that's maybe an unpopular opinion, is that Louis' younger siblings knew about H and L being together from an early age. I know some fans believe they weren't told in case they spilled at school or something, and that his sisters believed Louis dated Eleanor, but i don't. I think Louis and Harry being themselves as a couple around their families was one of the things that made them able to deal with the harsh closeting. There were also fans in Doncaster who've spotted H at Jay's house. I don't think the Tomlinsons are a family who keeps secrets from each other. They seem like they are a close knit family who trust each other. Even the younger ones. I just can't imagine L bringing H over and they have to sit there around the table and pretend not to be madly in love. His sisters would have noticed anyway and they would also have questioned why L didn’t have E over. Kids are smarter than you think. It would be easier to explain the truth and why they couldn’t tell others.

[lady-elowen]

°˖✧‧₊⚘ 🧡🌹 𝕽𝖔𝖈𝖐 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖇𝖔𝖉𝖞!

𝕽𝖔𝖈𝖐 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖇𝖊𝖆𝖙! 🔥💚 ⚘₊‧✧˖°

Happy Anniversary, Rose Rose Romance~

I remember the day you came home with a lively kiss for me and mentioned the new solo project you were given by Shining Agency. You said it was to be the truest personification of you in song, and we talked endlessly over dinner about themes and ideas, also written down by me for you, just in case you’d need them for inspiration later.

I was honored to be kept in the loop with the production of the project, especially because you wanted me to be a part of it, saying with such an ease of confidence I am a large part of who you have become. I still remember the feelings of the comfortably fierce warmth on your lips and the tight embrace I gave you when you told me that.

Through all the many wonderful parts and progress on the tracks you shared with me, I had yet to see the visuals. That was the one thing you were adamant on keeping a surprise, until the “special day” came. I was fascinated by what it could be, and through your playful smirk were you more than satisfied, curiosity glistening in my eyes in those next few days.

I pondered for hours what type of clothes and aesthetics you’d pick after seeing the ones your friends in STARISH had done before you, absolutely obsessed with everything I envisioned you in. A designer’s mind is endless when it’s always inspired, I suppose, but I knew whatever you picked, it would look perfect on you. I could only ever see you that way.

The day of your shoot for the cover was coming, and you wanted me to come with you to assist the director. The theme was “Rose Rose Romance,” so catchy and fitting of you. I got cheeky and tried to get you to tell me what you’d be wearing, but of course being far more savvy than me, you chuckled and ghosted the corner of my lip and whispered:

“My heart burns passionately with how you think about me so much.~” My breath hitched as you held onto the side of my face with a couple locks of my dark umber hair; I couldn’t stop looking into your ocean eyes.

“Trust me. You’ll see everything when the cameras go up, my angel.”

I trust you more than anything.

It felt like I floated my way to the studio for your photoshoot, a smile on my face when I greeted the staff. Upon my arrival I started chatting with the director while we all waited for you to get ready, about the type of things we’d be looking for when the cameras would start flashing, even helping some position the set perfectly. I began to stare at the faint rose damask print against the orange of the backdrop, your signature orange, finding myself absorbed in the simplicity of everything.

I didn’t realize how much time had passed thinking about this surprise and the message behind the visuals until you finally walked on set. And when I finally saw you, in only a robe, I started to understand.

Your mind is brilliant. The concept so literal, yet so symbolic. It was you.

Upon my realization, I wanted my eyes to communicate everything I was feeling to you as we were there. You approached me steadily and gave me your robe, an equally intense expression in response. I’d seen you many times like this when we were alone together, as you fully and truly are, and with this album you wanted to express that to everyone.

You trusted me even more after that day, an honor for me to join you on the path you walk.

And as you started to pose for the cameras, your poor skin probably chilled from the air as the director started giving instructions, I was completely focused on making your vision come true with every question of opinion I was asked.

That shoot was one of the greatest embodiments of you. You are honest, true, and love unfiltered, strong. And you are amazing in everything you think and do for your fans, and it’s something I’ll always cherish that you save even more of those things for me, every single day

And when the album finally released, and everything finally came together, I saw a future of us, a bouquet of different colored roses in every space we share.

Happy Release Anniversary, my darling Ren. I’m so proud of you. I love you.

[aerael-a]

“I can’t speak to you when you’re like this. How about this — you tell me when you’re ready to have an adult discussion.” // Kaoru -> shion — @mcwscollective .

   𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐗𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐍'𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊 𝐎𝐑 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓. No, Shion was emotionally tired ━━ but he hadn’t talked to anyone about it, pushing it down and pretending to be fine like he always did. He would get like that from time to time, falling into a void of nothingness and too much at the same time. Maybe he had depression, he didn’t know and wasn’t very interested in looking for a diagnosis. No one would care anyway.

   Case in point, Shion sat at the table at his parents’ home, slowly eating a fruit salad. Possibly the first thing he’d eaten in a while though he was just so numb to everything that he barely tasted it, eyes unfocused as he ate. At some point, Kaoru had started saying something ━━ when had he even walked into the room? What was he even talking about? Shion didn’t know, hadn’t heard a single word that came out of his father’s mouth. 

   But these last ones he had heard. And his heart sunk deeper into that void that consumed him. He was so tired of Kaoru, so tired of never being good enough for him. It was exhausting. ❛  Oh, for sure, I’ll let you know,  ❜  Shion responded with a lifeless chuckle, placing his spoon down on top of the small bowl. 

   ❛  That might take a while, though. We have to wait for you to start acting like an adult first, don’t we?  ❜ It wasn’t a strong enough clap back in his opinion, but he wasn’t in the best mindset to fight Kaoru that day or ever, really. Then again, that tiny part of his mind begged him to prod, to ask what was wrong and Shion couldn’t stop himself from it. 

   ❛  But do tell, what have I done this time to have you all prissy? I’ll make sure not to inconvenience you again, lest you walk out on my younger siblings like you did to me.  ❜ That was a low blow, but Shion was tired and upset and feeling so many things at once that he could not hold that back.