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starsinmylatte · 4 years ago

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A Song Among the Stars

Chapter count: 2/?

Rating: Mature 🔞

Relationships: Grand Admiral Thrawn/Original Female Character

Tags:

Space Opera (literally)

Slow Burn

Slow Romance

Other Additional Tags to Be Added

Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con

Never by thrawn

Sexual Tension

Mix of Legends and Canon

Art Enthusiast Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo

Thrawn | Mitth'raw'nuruodo is protective of his muse

Ballroom Dancing

Imperial Star Destroyers (Star Wars)

Imperial Officers (Star Wars)

Angst and Romance

Canon-Typical Violence

Chiss (Star Wars)

Chiss Ascendancy (Star Wars)

Masquerade

The Empire shows off

Imperial style

Phantom of the Opera AU if you squint

Thrawn finds his muse

Total word count: 5,506

Chapter 1: Overture

Song suggestion: Reflections- Toshifumi Hinata

I lingered in the bath, fully understanding that I was only delaying the inevitable. The warm, aromatic water swirled around me as I began to dread the next few hours. Soon, the handmaidens assigned to prepare me for tonight would arrive to ensure my compliance.

At an earlier point in my life, I would have resisted all of their attempts to shove me into the various gowns, gems, and the absolutely appalling shoes that had been chosen for me. I had actually bitten the first girl that tried to change my outfit forcibly.

The handmaidens were all extremely wary of me after that incident, but, somehow, three of them had managed to become my only true friends on Coruscant. Despite my best intentions to hate everyone, Talle, Kaia, and Ahni were the only ones who bothered to understand my story.

Though each of us was from a different planet, we had all been taken from our homes by the Empire. We all served high-ranking Imperials, but my main role was different. I was a piece of Imperial propaganda. I was painted as the poor girl from the Outer Rim whose singing talent was discovered by the Empire and given a place to shine for the whole galaxy to see.

My train of thought was immediately interrupted by the sound of three very familiar sets of footsteps entering my room and a sing-song voice that rang out, “Oh Lyra! It seems that you’re stuck with us yet again.”

I let out a genuine snort before retaliating. “Kaia, you know nobody else wants to be anywhere near biting distance of me. You’d have to be personally requested by Lady Tarkin before anyone would consider switching jobs with you, and that’s saying something.”

I suddenly shuddered as I remembered my last encounter with her. Thankfully it had been brief, but it had still felt like an eternity. “That woman is so unpleasant.”

The second voice jokingly mused, “I don’t know, sometimes you can be almost as miserable as her. Now come on out of the bath. We have to start getting you ready.”

“Just five more minutes Talle.” I groaned, “I can just feel that tonight will be particularly long.”

Kaia laughed as she poked her head into the refresher and handed me a mug. “Somehow, I knew you’d say that, and that’s why we’re here ten minutes early.” Her eyes sparkled with mischief. “Before you even begin to ask about it, here’s your shig.”

I shot Kaia a friendly scowl before immediately perking up at the mention of my favorite tea. I had always been partial to caf, but there was nothing better than a steaming cup of herbal tea before a performance. The citrusy scent of the behot immediately filled the small room, and holding the warm mug in my hands was instantly comforting. I let out a sigh of pure bliss, “Stars, you are a wonderful friend.”

Kaia winked before exiting the refresher. “Oh, I know.”

As I enjoyed the last few minutes of my bath, the tea brought back memories of my home. Before the Empire had taken me, a cup of shig and a hot bath would have been considerably rare, and the chances of both happening on the same day, even rarer.

Back on Ero, life was more mundane. My father always had quality goods on hand, but as a trader, he couldn’t just let his daughter drink all of his products. There were also no fancy bathtubs because they were a waste of precious drinking water, so almost everyone used sonic showers instead. I could resent the Empire all I wanted to, but there was no denying that I was at least well provided for. Somehow that made me hate my captivity even more.

I gripped my mug as I fought the other memories that tried to resurface. It had gotten easier to push them down as the years passed, but the pain was still there. Flashes of my capture, my time spent held on a Star Destroyer, the captain that had trapped me in his quarters…... The last thing I needed was to slip back into these memories.

Then there was a gentle hand on my shoulder. The sudden presence made me jump, but I saw Ahni’s smiling face when I looked up. Her face was both a comfort and a constant reminder that the Empire had hurt many people besides me. She had a beautiful deep green complexion marred by the scars from her capture that ran across her face and entire body. Ahni rarely spoke, but she was still extraordinarily expressive and always had ways to make her emotions known. Realization flashed across her face before she bent down and hugged me.

We shared an understanding moment of silence before Kaia yelled in from the other room. “Come on, Ly! We have to get you into all this kriffing fabric sometime today. I heard that we managed to get one of the better options, but tonight everything is special, so there’s more to do than usual.”

Stars, I almost forgot, I mentally berated myself. Tonight’s not only the biggest party I’ve been expected to perform at so far, but it’s the kriffing Masquerade too.

I immediately began cursing under my breath in every trade language I knew as I leapt from the bathtub, wrapped a robe around myself, and ran out of the refresher, closely followed by a very amused Ahni.

My apartment was quite lovely for basically being a prison. I had a plush bed with privacy curtains, a small vanity, a bedside table, a closet filled with outfits, and a tiny enclosed balcony. Having a private refresher made it very close to luxury.

I walked over to the vanity and had a seat. I had been prepared for Imperial events far too many times and knew the procedure that was about to happen by heart. I used to protest that I could get ready myself, but preparing for an Imperial ball required way more thought and perfection than anything else and by now, I put my trust in Kaia, Talle, and Ahni.

Tonight demanded absolute perfection.

The Masquerade was a collection and celebration of the Empire’s most significant members, and my role was to be the sparkling gem in the center of everything. I knew my true purpose tonight involved way more than my renowned singing ability. My presence tonight was pure propaganda. I was a message to every person on every planet in the Empire. This could be you. The Empire is generous. If this insignificant girl from the Outer Rim could be here, you could be here too.

I had already been warned about the consequences if I fell short of what was required tonight.

Hours later, the process was finally complete. Talle had powdered, colored, and shaded my face to her precise standards. She had even filled my lips in with a deep red pigment and darkened my eyelashes to complement my icy blue eyes. Not to be outdone, Kaia had coaxed my long blonde hair into an elegant, intricate updo inlaid with black and white quartz.

The dress came last, and it was stunning. When Ahni opened my closet, I almost couldn’t believe my eyes. Whoever had selected it had undoubtedly wanted me to stand out. There would be no shortage of finery tonight, but I was to be resplendent.

Talle was completely astonished for a long moment before she spoke, “I do believe this is the least horrid thing they’ve picked out for you.”

Ahni nodded vigorously in agreement while Kaia and I remained utterly speechless. The dress was breathtaking, even just on the mannequin.

Getting into the dress was a three-person endeavor, but the struggle was utterly worth it. The long, form-fitting black dress perfectly hugged every curve from the floor up before tapering just slightly above my cleavage. There, the material shifted to the left, wrapped behind my neck, and then formed a sleeve that draped down my entire right arm. However, the most remarkable thing about the dress was the fabric. Any and every way that I moved caused the material to shimmer like the thousands of stars twinkling in the night sky.

I was provided a single thick, gold cuff for my left wrist, and even though the hem of the dress would cover them, heeled slippers made out of the same fabric as the dress.

Talle smiled and carefully handed me the final missing piece. “Now, now,” she jested, “you can’t go to a masquerade without this.”

The mask she handed me was so intricately ornate that it easily could have been mistaken for black lace, but it was actually made from a lightweight metal inlaid with dozens of sparkling diamonds. When I put it on, it rested just above my nose to conceal the upper half of my face beautifully.

As Kaia secured the whole thing in my hair with more pins and gemstones, Ahni produced a floor-length mirror from the closet. In my performances on Eros, I had worn dresses that were considered elegant in the Outer Rim, but there was no way they could ever compare to this. For the first time in my life, I was stunned at my appearance. I had never been overly confident, but now I felt absolutely beautiful.

Talle laughed, “Just try not to stop any hearts tonight. The Empire might lose important officers, and then we’d all be in trouble for making you look this good.”

Kaia placed a hand over her mouth to stifle her snickering, and Ahni looked highly amused by the thought.

I just rolled my eyes, “I think their partners would probably get to me first.”

That sent everyone over the edge, and we all laughed to the point of tearing up. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Ahni went over to open it, and two officers decked out in their Imperial best stepped into the room. The shorter officer locked eyes with me and blushed furiously before looking away.

The taller one finally spoke, “Good evening Miss. We will be your escorts for the night. If you wouldn’t mind following us, we have a speeder waiting to take us to the venue.”

I smiled at the officer, “Thank you, I appreciate it. If you wouldn’t mind waiting outside, I’ll finish up and be out in a second.”

He nodded and signaled to the other man. They stepped outside, and I immediately pulled Ahni, Talle, and Kaia into a big hug. “Thank you all for your help and for being my friends; you make this so much more bearable. I’ll see you when I get back tonight.”

After a few seconds, we broke apart and finished our goodbyes. I smiled at my friends one last time before walking out of the room to join the officers.

________________________________________________

Chapter 2: Aria

Orchestra tuning: The Imperial March (Glory of the Empire)

Lyra’s final song: Roméo et Juliette, CG 9 Act 1: “Ah, je veux vivre danse ce rève” sung by Aida Garifullina

*TW* brief Attempted assault/non-con towards the end of the chapter

The officers outside of my door stood so close that I almost ran headfirst into the taller one when I stepped out.

“Apologies, Miss, we thought you’d be a little longer,” the man managed as he smoothly sidestepped me before acknowledging his previous blunder, “It also seems like we’ve forgotten to introduce ourselves.”

He briefly paused to take his place beside his partner before continuing. “My name is Captain Dreycolt, and this is Lieutenant Arkmad. It’s an absolute pleasure to make your acquaintance and we both actually have you to thank for our presence at the Masquerade tonight.”

Arkmad, who was still noticeably red in the face, nodded sagely. “None of the higher-ranking officers wanted to be stuck with a job at the party; however, the rest of us were fighting to even be included. We happened to fall at the perfect place on the pecking order,” he smiled slyly.

I raised a single eyebrow at Arkmad and gave him my most saccharine smile, “Well, I’m glad that this will be an enjoyable job for you, even though you’re stuck with me.”

His face flushed several shades deeper, and he started to stammer. “M-My apologies M-Miss. I n-never meant to imply….”

Dreycolt promptly tapped him on the shoulder to cut him off before turning back to me and smoothly taking my hand. In one fluid motion, he leaned forward, slowly raised it to his lips, and gallantly kissed the top of my hand. He smiled up at me through lowered lashes, “However, any job that is this beautiful couldn’t possibly be so bad.”

Now it was my turn to blush and I prayed the mask hid most of it because Dreycolt was definitely an attractive man. His caramel-colored hair was neatly trimmed with darker eyebrows and eyelashes framing his warm amber eyes. The uniform he wore fit him exceptionally well, and the slight stubble on his chin tickled my hand as he pressed his lips to it. After what felt like an eternity, he released his grip, and my hand returned to my side.

There was no doubt Dreycolt’s distraction from his lieutenant’s blunder had worked as intended. I could tell he knew as much from the slight smile that tugged at the corner of his lips.

“You flatter me, Captain. If all Imperial officers are as pleasant as you, perhaps tonight will be more enjoyable than I expected.”

Of course, all officers aren’t as kind or practiced in flattery, I thought darkly. These two seem bearable enough to talk to, so I’m at least grateful for that. After all, they’ll be keeping me company for most of the night when I’m not on the stage.

His annoyance at the situation briefly flashed in Arkmad’s eyes before he cleared his throat. He did not seem to enjoy being sidelined for his misstep.

“We should be on our way by now,” he chided. “The airspeeder has priority clearance to travel outside of normal traffic lanes, but I don’t want to explain why the Empire’s star performer is late for her practice time with the orchestra.”

He was, of course, right. Dreycolt jokingly bowed and gestured out into the hallway. “Lead the way, Miss.”

With the Captain and Lieutenant flanking me, I walked through the twisting hallways of the building towards the balcony where our airspeeder was docked.

I was still somewhat dreading the Masquerade, but at least the ride would be pleasant and I would even get to see the sky again. It sounded like such a small thing to enjoy, but coming from Ero to Coruscant was a massive shock in so many ways. I could always see the sky and the stars glittering at night in the Outer Rim but Coruscant was a completely different story.

Though my apartment was beautiful, it was nowhere near the skyline. I played an important role, but it was definitely not important enough for me to live among the rich and powerful. The towering buildings above me kept all traces of natural light from finding my little room, and while artificial light was better than living in the dark, it held no comparison to the real thing.

When we reached the airspeeder, Dreycolt jumped into the driver’s seat, and Arkmad helped me into the back before taking his place in the seat beside him. At the press of a button, a smooth, clear dome slid overhead and enclosed the craft.

I couldn’t resist making a joke. “For both your sakes, I’m glad there’s a roof. You would have to deal with my very unhappy hairstylist if her work was ruined.”

Dreycolt let out a deep-chested laugh, and even Arkmad’s stormy facade cracked into a smile before the airspeeder pulled away from the building, and we were finally on our way.

Since I was expected to be at the venue early to rehearse, night had not yet taken over the cityscape. The sky was cloudy as usual, but light still fell to glisten and reflect across the tops of the tallest buildings. The view was absolutely breathtaking.

I all but shoved my face against the clear dome to take in all of the incredible scenes spread out below. Thousands of speeders, taxis, and transports wove around the many buildings, each with a different purpose and destination. I was beyond captivated by all the people and their freedom to go wherever they pleased, whenever they wanted to.

Before I knew it, we had arrived at one of the most palatial homes on the highest level I had ever seen. Dreycolt stopped the speeder at the balcony, although calling it a balcony was a massive understatement, and Arkmad helped me out onto the landing. I had become accustomed to the splendor displayed by the most influential Imperials, but this was on another level entirely.

An enormous garden lay spread out beyond the balcony’s opulent landing pad. The path we walked down extended its way throughout the entirety of the grounds and wrapped around a massive central fountain before it continued up into a set of stairs that I could only guess led to the main ballroom.

Statues depicting the most famous Imperial victories lined both sides of the walkway, which eventually branched off to different garden sections on each side. Upon closer inspection, the central fountain proudly displayed the Imperial Crest carved into stone so dark it could’ve been mistaken for a solid shadow.

Every single hedge, bush, or flower we could see was maintained to standards of perfection that would impress even the Admiralty of the Imperial Navy. The sweet scent of the many exotic flowers lingered in the air, and the sounds of water trickling from the fountain made the garden almost seem peaceful.

Dreycolt let out a low whistle that made both the lieutenant and I jump. Evidently, he had passed the speeder off to another officer while we were distracted. “Stars. I had heard the constant squabbling over who would get to host led to an amazing result, but this is insane.”

Arkmad nodded, “Someone told me the Emperor personally picked the host and venue. I have no idea who was picked, but they certainly did an outstanding job with the preparations.”

“I wish I were able to walk around,” I sighed wistfully. “It’s been years since I’ve been in a real garden.”

Dreycolt smiled, “Well, Miss, perhaps after your performance, we can arrange that.”

The grin that crept across my face was hard to hide as that simple thought became all of the encouragement I needed to get through the night. As the three of us began the walk to the ballroom, I realized that whoever had designed the path had done so with women’s shoes in mind, as it was completely smooth and comfortable to walk on. Kriffing hell, they really thought of it all.

Before long, we reached the top of the stairs and entered the ballroom. I didn’t think anything would outshine the garden, but I was so very very wrong. The garden was the pinnacle of control and order, but the ballroom exuded absolute elegance.

As we reached the top of the stairs, another officer was waiting to announce our arrival, but I was so captivated by my surroundings that I barely heard what he said. Beyond him was the main dance floor. It looked to be made out of the same dark stone as the fountain, but it was polished so thoroughly you could easily see your reflection looking back at you if you looked down. At the far end of the room, a small but wide set of stairs led up to the stage where the orchestra was busily setting up. More stairs just inside the entrance led to the upper floor, which was filled with tables draped in brilliant white cloths for people to sit and enjoy the spectacle of the dancing below them. A massive, crystalline chandelier hung over the ballroom and blood-red sashes decorated the balconies.

There was so much more to see, but, unfortunately, I wasn’t there to spectate.

As I walked up to the stage, I stopped to greet the conductor of the orchestra; Skath Farri was an old friend from the conservatory where I had trained. He was invited to Coruscant for his considerable talents and was never permitted to leave. Now, he conducted the Imperial Orchestra. No one could know our relationship was anything more than professional, or we’d never see each other again.

“Ly! You look gorgeous, my dear.” He greeted me with the usual platonic kiss on the cheek and inconspicuous wink. “Are you ready to shine tonight?”

That was his unique way of checking in on me. He was very aware that I had never entirely given my voice, or heart, to the Empire. I followed orders and sang the songs they wanted, but the emotion that drove my greatest performances was still in the Outer Rim. There was a marked difference between my performances here and Ero, but only someone like Skath would ever notice. I still played my part of the obedient songbird, but I refused to give them all of me.

I smiled back at him. “Just about as ready as I’ll ever be. They sent me a rather impressive list of everything I’m to perform tonight. At the very least, I came prepared.”

Skath just smiled knowingly before he shooed me onto the stage to begin warming up with the orchestra. Time seemed to stop as I rehearsed, but before long, the guests started to arrive and I was sent over to wait in my spot in the backstage wings until it was time to perform.

I could only see the stage, but I heard names, both familiar and not, being announced upon their entrance. The ballroom began to fill with voices as the guests trickled in. All of a sudden, a musical cue played, and the room went deathly silent. A ghostly hologram flickered to life in the center of the stage, and the shadowy form of the Emperor appeared.

“Welcome, my friends. I trust you will all enjoy tonight as a celebration worthy of our great Empire.” He paused for applause before continuing. “Now, it is my wish that you use this time to reflect on the victories that brought us to this moment. I assure you there will be many more in the future.”

The Emperor stood for even more cheering before holding up his hand to silence the crowd. “Now, let my Masquerade begin!”

His hologram flickered slightly before disappearing altogether as the lights dimmed, cuing me to get on stage. I walked out to stand in the center of the stage, and as soon as I reached my place, the lights slowly returned to their former brilliance.

I was no stranger to performing, but having every single Imperial in the room staring at me was enough to give me butterflies in my stomach. Thankfully, before they could settle in, Skath cued the orchestra to begin with a flick of his baton. The opening notes of the first piece, a current favorite on Coruscant, swelled to life, and I began to sing.

Almost immediately, the officers and politicians turned to their spouses or began to venture off in search of a dance partner. The crowded dance floor began to clear slightly, as others had no interest in dancing and were only there to make connections. The first song ended with tremendous applause, and I began the second. You can do this. Just take it one piece at a time.

By now, I was calm enough to enjoy myself and to watch the dancing and it quickly became apparent that everyone in attendance had tried their best to impress. The ladies wore beautiful, elaborate dresses made out of the best materials and representing the latest fashions from every corner of the Empire. Politicians displayed the most richly colored and finely tailored clothing they owned and Imperial officers were in their usual dress uniforms, but no one was seen without a mask.

There were all kinds of masks on display. Some were crafted entirely from gems or precious materials to show off resources from their home planet. Others pulled designs from legendary animals or myths. There were even some covered in exotic feathers or flowers, but every mask was distinctive in its own way.

Hours passed as I continued to sing. Slowly but surely, I made my way through the extensive list of songs on the program until only one remained. The last song required using a specialized instrument, so I retreated to the wings for some water while it was being set up.

Suddenly, Skath appeared and sprinted towards me. He spun me around to face him fully, and I was in shock at how frazzled he looked. Even his voice was strained. “Lyra, you have to trust me. I have no idea who asked for this, but they were important enough to change the final song we planned. Every member of the orchestra was given the new sheet music, and a stand was set out for you.”

“They want me to sight-read a piece on a night as important as this?!” I gasped indignantly at the thought.

Skath’s face was grim. “No. You’ll know it, but you won’t be happy about it. We don’t have any time left, so we’ve got to get back on stage. For what it’s worth….. I’m so sorry.”

My stomach sank. If he was this upset… I had no idea what to expect. However, there was no choice but to walk back to my place on stage and pretend nothing had even happened. With every step, the sinking feeling in my stomach grew.

It was so much worse than I ever could’ve expected. There was no way anyone here besides Skath should know about this song, but here it was in front of me. It was my favorite piece of music and the only one I’d sworn to keep from the Empire forever. The piece that had been the star of my first major performance on Ero after I left the conservatory.

Before I could even finish my thought, the orchestra cued up. The first few notes began, and every single one of them felt like a knife to the heart. My muscle memory kicked in, and before I even knew it, I was singing.

Thoughts flew through my head while I choked my way through the opening verse. What would I do? Do I keep my promise and hold back, or do I seize the chance I was forced into and truly sing from my heart? Memories of Ero, my family, and my friends all returned as the song continued. My voice began to flow over the music as I made it my own. I remembered my father’s smile and how proud he’d been of me for my music.

Courage suddenly coursed through me like liquid fire. I’d show every kriffing Imperial here what a daughter of the Outer Rim was truly capable of! I was wrong to hold back my emotions before. They could take me, bring me to this place, and shove me on a stage, but they could never control my voice. The Empire wanted me to be their emotionless puppet. My voice wasn’t exactly quiet before, but now it rose to fill the entire ballroom. I was going to burn myself into the mind of every Imperial present. Whoever requested this song would not see me subdued; they would see me triumphant. I poured every ounce of bottled-up emotion into my music, and my voice soared. Then, I had sung the final note, and it was all over.

You could’ve heard a code cylinder drop in the ballroom after the orchestra finished. The dancing had all but stopped, and people were leaning over the balcony to watch me. I curtsied, preparing to exit the stage and receive whatever punishment was in store for kriffing up the Masquerade, but then the thunderous applause began.

I kept my curtsy for as long as possible before my knees started to buckle. Everything left in me had gone into the song, and I barely made it into the wings before I collapsed. Fortunately, Captain Dreycolt was there to catch me before I hit the floor.

I smiled weakly at him. “Since the orchestra is taking it from here, now might be a good time for me to get some fresh air.”

He grabbed Arkmad, and together they helped me out one of the side doors into the garden. I didn’t want to be seen in my weakened state, but thankfully the garden was empty. Most people seemed to be still dancing or otherwise occupied. Those that were in the garden didn’t appear to have ventured this far.

Dreycolt stopped and pointed at the hedge maze, “There’s a small sitting area in the middle. The only way in or out is through the maze. Why don’t we take you to it so you can rest? Arkmad and I will stand at the entrance and exit to make sure you aren’t bothered.”

I had no complaints; the idea sounded fantastic. We made our way through the maze until we reached the center. It was small and only had enough room for a bench, but it was paradise to me. Arkmad helped me onto the bench before making his way to the exit. Dreycolt gave me one last worried glance, turned around, and headed back towards the entrance. The crisp night air felt wonderful on my face, and I began to relax. I closed my eyes, took deep breaths, and started to feel normal again.

The sudden sound of footsteps startled me. Assuming it was Dreycolt or Arkmad, I rose to meet them. For the second time that night, I was profoundly incorrect. A cold, sly voice broke the silence as the face that haunted my dreams stepped into the area. “Hello, Lyra. I bet you thought you’d never see me again.”

Icy fear washed over me as I was thrown into complete shock. Standing in front of me was Girerd Bost, the captain that took me from my home and attempted to violate me in every way possible. The starlight shone on his face, illuminating his narrow, glacial eyes and the nasty scar to the right of them. I hissed at him, “Captain Bost, what an unpleasant surprise.” I gestured to his scar, “It’s a real shame that didn’t heal better.”

He had the decency to look hurt by my cutting words as he moved his pale hair to the side and softly traced the scar. “Unfortunately for you, it’s Commodore Bost now.”

Before I could even blink, he lunged at me, grabbed me by the throat, and shoved me down onto the bench. Bost leaned forward and whispered into my ear. “Those two boys waiting for you were certainly brave. They tried to argue with me, but they couldn’t disobey a direct order from a Commodore no matter how much they wanted to.”

He paused briefly to trace his other gloved hand over my face. His touch revolted me and made my skin crawl; he seemed to take pleasure in my discomfort before continuing, “Now, there’s no one nearby to interrupt us…”

At that moment, he made the mistake of stroking my lips. It was my turn to lunge forward, and I bit down on his hand hard. Bost screamed and released my throat to grab his bleeding fingers. I leapt up from the bench and bolted past him, sprinting as fast as possible towards the maze’s entrance and praying that I wouldn’t hit a dead end. He was chasing me by this point, screaming obscenities and threats of what he would do to me. Finally, an opening in the hedges appeared. I glanced behind me to see if Bost was close behind, but as soon as I turned my head, I suddenly collided with a very large, solid thing.

The hedges made it way too dark for me to see, but from the soft grunt I heard during the collision, it was another man. I recoiled backward defensively as Bost rounded the corner. The mysterious man glanced at him, looked back at me, and seemed to judge the situation quickly. He swiftly stepped in front of me to block Bost’s path. At this point, all my dignity flew out the window, and I hid behind his tall figure. I just had to trust fate that I was better off with him than with the Commodore. In contrast to Bost’s loud cursing, the other man’s voice was impossibly soft and collected when he spoke. “Commodore, I believe this woman would like to be left alone.”

Still distracted by his hand, Bost howled, “Just who do you think you…..”. He looked up at the man and abruptly shut his mouth. Before he could re-open it, my unknown hero spoke again. This time his voice had a definite edge, and an unrecognizable accent slightly marred his words.

“I am Grand Admiral Thrawn of the Seventh Fleet. I trust you will have no further issues with me asking you to leave.”

#grand admiral thrawn #thrawn #thrawn fanfic #fanfic #ao3 #also on ao3 #star wars rebels #star wars the clone wars #star wars legends #Thrawn x oc #mitt'raw'nuruodo

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phoenixyfriend · 4 years ago

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The Catboy Valois AU

This one is a little cursed, and inspired by this Totally Spies post.

This AU does contain some nsfw content, which I will place at the end of the post and mark for (it’s right after the dog pics). Once again, this was brainstormed on the GG server, back in October of 2019. Biggest contributor other than myself was @atagotiak.

So I decided that, at some point, I need to see one of those inexplicable and very horny modern catpeople AUs.

Where a fraction of the population just happens to have cat ears and tails etc. for... minimal reason.

Tarvek def has them. Bc twink. Sticking to the tropes, you know.

All the Valois are catpeople because most of history didn't have the option of interbreeding, just coexisting. Something something sterile hybrids because chromosomes.

Andronicus Valois, Catboy King

Lucrezia was full human and Aaronev never had a chance.

"Most of history" because recently they scienced up ways to get around it, so there are catperson/human hybrids, like Gil and Zeetha (Klaus is human, Zanta is not).

Klaus is kinda glad Gil has cat ears bc this makes people automatically assume he can’t be the dad even if they realize it’s technically possible.

This means Agatha gets her boys.

The human (Lars), the hybrid (Gil), and the cat (Tarvek).

Anevka's initial robot body doesn't have the cat features just due to the fact that Tarvek was aiming for Bare Minimum, and then when he added them in later she decided she liked being able to pick when she had them.

I am morally obligated to reblog the callout art @mercurialvoid did for me a few years ago.

We’re not gonna talk about that, though.

human Othar/catgirl Anevka

SCENT MARKING

It's considered Undignified but everyone still DOES it, just... discreetly.

Agatha thinks nothing of it when Zeetha rubs their cheeks together while training and then someone looks at her funny and asks if that's her girlfriend or something.

And Agatha Realizes that she's currently got Belongs-to-Zeetha scent on her and has to scramble to explain that Zeetha kind of adopted her as a little sister because it's the closest approximation she can come up with that still has Acceptable Connotations.

I think platonic marking is a THING but mostly within families, children, and really close female friends, like holding hands. (Toxic masculinity does apply.)

And kolee-zumil is effectively family relationship.

Agatha can't SMELL the scent markings but she gets used to them.

Also like. There's probably different levels of scent marking depending on the body part. Wrists and cheeks are different.

Jagers that used to be catboys have better senses of smell, and are the ones sent to find a Heterodyne.

Agatha and Lars make out but don't go all the way because Agatha is not ready. (Meanwhile, Zeetha can literally smell how horny these dumb kids are.)

TINY BABY GILVEK FACE NUZZLES WHILE STILL ON CW:

(Imagine how much more dangerous the baby gilvek airship-exploring shenanigans would be given one is a catboy and the other is half catboy.)

Gil just kinda scent marks on literally everything/everyone. The boy is affection-starved well into adulthood. He probably purrs too. And purring is probably considered kinda undignified.

Tarvek purrs when he’s designing clothes in his head. He’s embarrassed when he realizes. Everyone thinks it’s cute tho.

Also when crafting super-complicated diabolical plans.

Purring isn’t very diabolical. So it’s embarrassing and doesn’t fit with the aesthetic at all.

It’s hard to do an evil scheme while being an image-conscious catboy.

Gil only. Sort of knows how to cat. He's not very good at it. Zulenna helped but...

Is Von Pinn a cat? Gut says yes. Though it makes it less likely she'd be mistaken for Lu as the students did, but hey! She’d appreciate that.

She probably wouldn’t know how to cat.

Or maybe she would, given we’re assuming hereditary and she was made for Andronicus... She probably knows a bit abt how to tell other people how to cat, but she doesn’t know how to cat herself.

The Muses... not designed to look like catpeople. Ruined the minimalist bodies RVR was going for, going by canon's lack of consistent ears or noses

Agatha does not realize at first that Von-Pinn is a cat-lady because her ears match her hair and every time she sees Agatha her ears go back, and the tail is hidden under the hobble dress.

Otilia is very happy to go from catwoman body to Giant Metal Cat body

KITTY BANGLADESH DUPREE

She's got a faint pattern to her fur that's, on closer inspection, very much indicating she's a PANTHER.

Consider: Tarvek starts working himself up into a frenzied panic and the nearest Trusted Person starts petting him to calm him down and he like. Melts.

TBH tho, a good portion of canon Tarvek’s behaviour can already be described as “cat does something stupid and immediately after attempts to pretend he has dignity even though everyone saw the stupid thing.”

Once Tarvek calms down... Lazy Cat Time.

NECK PINCH

CH would be ecstatic that Agatha snagged two suitors, then swing around to devastated that they’re both catboys, and maybe delusional enough to attempt to cut the ears/tails off like that’d solve anything then come around to “well there’s always science” once it’s fixed.

All Valois have high necks on their outfits, at least at the back

So nobody tries to Deactivate The Cat

(One less thing for Anevka to worry about.)

Because, you know. Canon decided to cut Agatha in half to acquire an heir, so we can’t exactly say the Castle is all that sensible.

It does calm down once Agatha mentions she has Lars, though.

Per @lyratalus: Krosp could be... so much more dangerous in this AU. What if he was designed to be emperor of all catpeople?

Cats never do what they're told anyways, and you can’t really control people without wasps, but the attempt was made! Vapnoople was ambitious!

Long story short, there's a spark of Something but then they just bat him off the table.

Imagine Seffie making Martellus Stop by deactivating the cat

Violetta is the cutest lil catgirl...

SHE GETS REALLY BRISTLEY WHEN SHE'S MAD

HE'S NOT A TWINK AND IT'S WEIRD. Not even a twunk???

Martellus is

So fucking ODD for a catboy

Like it HAPPENS but it means that human women are more likely to find him attractive than catgirls (and even that's a bit of a long shot on the basis of personality).

(Gil excused from the catboys-are-twink-to-twunk rule on the basis of being half human, and his dad being Basically A Wall.)

That said, for Andy I’m gonna go with "buff as fuck but sooooooo charismatic that all the catgirls, and human girls, flocked to him anyway."

So that’s at least two Bara catboys in this AU

Tarvek is canonically more or less the same size/shape as Gil, but... in my heart, Tarvek’s a twunk. He’s got muscle but he's not AS big, and he's got intense Twink energy, especially since Tarvek actually is queer.

(And they're both straight so they're not even technically bara, just Buff.)

(Not twinks either but...)

(Twink is a fun word.)

Colette is human and Seffie isn't but they'd need science for babies ANYWAY so who cares? It's a lot of Seffie laying her head in Colette's lap and purring as she falls asleep because Colette just keeps petting her.

Catboy Martellus still makes sparkhound shapeshifters. He's a catperson... but he's still a Dog Person.

Martellus and his dynamic with the sparkhounds:

He loves them, they love him. But they’re embarrassing sometimes.

THIS MARKS THE BEGINNING OF THE NSFW CONTENT

ANYWAY back to the point, which is that a lot of these catperson AUs are just... really super horny.

Which is valid.

Ears are technically erogenous zones for everyone but for the cat people... it's a Lot. It's also not like. Inherently sexual? But it can be. Like spooning. It feels nice ALWAYS but with the right person it's also HORNY. Or like brushing someone else's hair.

Ear rubs and headpats that result in like, intense sensation? Good actually.

Also I’m declaring that catpeople have heats. Or at least like. Heightened mating seasons? Extra horny times.

So you have Agatha and Lars normal, Gil kinda horny and confused, and Tarvek rubbing himself against the nearest spouse in hopes that someone's going to fuck the living daylights out of him.

Valois probably take suppressing things as a matter of course bc it’s hard to stay alert to assassination attempts when overwhelmingly horny. When Tarvek deliberately forgoes them eventually, everyone is touched by how much trust it shows.

Without suppressants, the horny is either something you can cope with or something that is intense but comes in Very brief periods. Either one day a month, or a week twice a year? Something like that.

Honestly though, imagine if Gil tried to hide being a catperson for the sake of the Empire or some nonsense, and had to just suffer when in heat?

Agatha likes to watch the boys go at it because there's something about Fangs On Neck that's super pleasurable for cat people and she can't provide that for Tarvek but Gil certainly can.

Bonding marks aren't a thing but possessive biting is.

(Since birth control is so easily accessed in GG, I feel like Lu’s opinion of catboys would be a super gross objectifying thing.)

(Which. Yeah.)

(Lucrezia basically has that opinion on any man in canon that isn’t immediately useful to her for science reasons.)

#Girl Genius #Valois Family #Tarvek Sturmvoraus #Gilgamesh Wulfenbach #Gilvek #Agatha Heterodyne #human animal hybrids #GG OT3 #Lars #Anevka Sturmvoraus #Martellus von Blitzengaard #Violetta Mondarev #Xerxsephnia von Blitzengaard #Colette Voltaire #Zeetha Wulfenbach #Otilia #Andronicus Valois #Lucrezia Mongfish #Phoenix Posts

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mysticpetals · 5 years ago

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Roses and thorns

Pairing: Jake × player (Nora)

Genre: fluff, angst

Word count: 2.7k

Summary: Nora loves making Jake flustered but he isn't exactly complaining when he gets to see that smile on her face.

A/N: y'all....I finally finished it. Fair warning this diverges a little from canon but the Hannah disappearance and investigation arc is still there. The player doesn't know Jake is the hacker's name. I took some writer's liberty with Jake's character since we don't know much about him (except I'll die for him), so I hope that's okay! And lastly, I'm sorry for that ending butttt I'm not that cruel usually. It's just this once. Maybe. All the characters belong to everybyte, I have no claim over them.

Nora breathed deeply as she saw the 'Welcome to Duskwood' sign. She couldn't believe that she was really going through with it.

On the way to her aunt's house, she stopped at a flower shop. It had been a long time since she had seen her aunt and from what she could remember, she was a sweet lady who loved receiving flowers. Her dad told her to get lilies because according to him, it reminded her of her past girlfriend who had died due a chronic disease. After her, her aunt had never been interested in dating and instead, chose to live in Duskwood by herself, running her sweet shop.

Nora stepped out of the car and couldn't avoid the shiver due to the much colder weather. She should have brought some warmer clothes, she mused. The city was much warmer than here, maybe due to industries or the ever increasing cars but she had to admit that Duskwood had its own charm.

The gentle breeze that caressed her face made her feel more alive than she had felt in a long time. Maybe staying cooped up in her small apartment might not have been the best way to work but it's not like she had to go to an office or something. All she needed was her tablet and computer and she was good to go.

The bell chimed loudly as she opened the door to the shop. The interior was very colorful, as expected from a flower shop, and her eyes trailed over all the beautiful arrangements that were displayed. Along the wall, there were shelves filled with flowers of all types and Nora instantly felt her mood brighten.

"Hello and welcome to Plumes. How can I help you?"

Nora turned towards the voice and found a guy with tousled black hair and glasses, smiling politely at her. Though, once he got a good look at her, the smile faltered.

"Oh, hi! I was hoping I could get a simple bouquet of lilies, would that be possible?" She smiled at the guy and he quickly snapped out of his stupor.

"Yes, of course. Do you need it now or…?" He moved behind the shelves, ducking his head and looking for lilies.

"Now, actually. But please take your time, I'm in no rush," she said and proceeded to check out the rows of cards placed in the corner.

Jake couldn't believe that he was seeing Nora, in Duskwood of all places. Why was she here in the first place? The timing was really bad for someone to come here out of the blue, especially when they didn't have many visitors in the first place. At least she didn't know who he was. It was only a small relief but nonetheless, Jake decided to get to know her reasons for coming.

"I hope you don't mind me asking, what brought you here?" He asked, cutting up the larger stems to fit into the bouquet.

"Oh, I'm here to visit someone." Her reply came and Jake frowned. She wasn't here to visit Jessy or the others, was she? If so, it was incredibly naive on her part when any one of them could be Hannah's kidnapper. He didn't know what to say but thankfully, Nora saved him from accidentally saying something that could give out his identity.

"This is a cool place. A lot different than the city," she said, done with choosing a card and took a green pen from the stand on the counter.

"That's definitely a first. Usually, people are trying to get out of here," Jake said, finished with wrapping the flowers in the paper and proceeded to cut a ribbon to tie it up.

He heard her hum in answer and peaked his head from behind the shelves to watch Nora writing on the card. He quickly turned around when she raised her head, cheeks heating up at being caught looking. After decorating the paper with the ribbon and putting a few final touches to make sure everything was in its proper place, Jake brought the bouquet with him to the counter and placed it down gently. Nora looked at it with awe and satisfaction and he felt happy that his skills had lived up to her expectations. Well, one set of skills at least.

"That's really pretty, thank you…" she trailed off, waiting for him to supply a name. Since everyone knew everyone in the town, his employer hadn't seen any use for a nametag. He hesitated for a quick second before telling his name.

"Thank you, Jake." Her smile widened and Jake's cheeks blossomed with a rosy blush. It was hard enough trying to maintain his distance while chatting and now that she was here in person, looking at him with eyes full of merriness, Jake felt as if things had gotten a lot more complicated.

———

Nora's aunt loved the flowers she had gotten and couldn't contain her excitement at having someone in the house other than her pet cat, Nox. She made Nora tell all about her big city life and how her parents were doing. All throughout the chat, she was feeding her all sorts of chocolates and pastries, asking about their texture and flavour and Nora was only too happy to comply. Her aunt had been responsible for her sweet tooth after all.

At night, as she settled in bed after having a shower and drying her hair, her phone lit up with a text notification and she was surprised to see that it was the hacker who had messaged her.

Hacker [9:30pm]

Hey, Nora.

How was your day?

She read the message and raised an eyebrow in disbelief. He had never messaged her first and now that he did, he's talking as if he's greeting an old friend. She typed out her reply after thinking about it for a while.

Nora [9:32pm]

It was...fine. nothing too exciting

Oh! I met a cute guy today

Hacker [9:32pm]

Oh, you did? That's nice.

Nora [9:33pm]

Don't worry though! I only have eyes for you ;)

Her screen showed that he was typing and erasing his text and she chuckled, imagining him blushing and not knowing what to say. He was so much fun to rile up, especially since he got flustered so easily.

Hacker [9:35pm]

I'm looking up on another lead I found.

If you find anything on Hannah's cloud related to a therapist, send it to me.

Nora pouted. He was basically ignoring her very obvious attempt at flirting and she did not appreciate it.

Nora [9:35pm]

You're no fun :(

I'm pretty tired today but I'll search through her cloud tomorrow

Good night!

She received a simple 'okay' and 'goodnight' in return and the hacker went offline again. That had to be the weirdest conversation they had and their whole relationship was built on strangeness.

She shrugged off the messages and fluffed up the covers. Right now, sleep was calling and who was she to deny it?

———

The next few days were spent indoors, with her aunt busy with a birthday order, she opted to work on Hannah's cloud as well as her commissions at the same time.

Sketching out the last details of a virtual character, she sighed with exhaustion when she was finally satisfied with it. Her phone pinged with a flurry of new messages and she leaned back on the couch, picking it up.

It was from the group chat with everyone and Lilly was creating trouble. 'Voting' to keep her involved or not. Couldn't she and everyone else for that matter see that she and the hacker guy had been trying to help as much as they could, and in her case, not even knowing any of them in the first place.

It was rather hurtful to know that nobody trusted her enough to vote 'yes' the first time around. But Dan voting for her made a smug smile spread across her face. Lilly and Thomas were definitely not okay with that and logged off immediately. She began to wonder if the hacker hadn't sent that video message in their group, would they have the same reaction as now?

She wrote a reply, not really paying attention to her words and locked her phone, flinging it towards the other end of the couch. Running her hands through her hair in frustration, she debated on what to do. She had tried to be forthcoming about everything but it really irked her that this was what she got for trying to help.

Her pettiness won out in the end and before Nora knew it, she had already snatched up her car keys and phone, on her way to the only flower shop in Duskwood.

———

Jake had been slacking on the job and he wasn't afraid to admit it.

The past few day's events plagued his mind. Nora hadn't texted him, ever since a short 'thank you' when he sent that intimidating video to her friend's group chat. She was online but barely responded to any messages and it made him a little worried. She was not the quiet sort of person and he was anxious as to whether she was feeling okay or not.

He glanced up from his phone, debating whether to message her or not, when the door opened and in walked Nora herself. It was afternoon so she had forgone her coat and was instead dressed in a casual attire of hoodie and jeans.

She smiled as she saw he was looking at her and Jake quickly locked his phone, putting it on the counter and greeted her.

"Didn't know I'll see you again so soon here," he said, with a hint of teasing and Nora shook her head.

"Neither did I. But here we are." She shrugged.

"Do you want a bouquet again?" He asked curiously. He hadn't expected her so soon at all. Whoever she was visiting must be really fond of flowers. That or she just came to see him. He tried not to linger on that last thought.

Nora's lips curled into a smirk, a devilish glint in her eyes and Jake swallowed nervously. She looked positively sinful with that expression, leaning across from him and he felt himself flushing slightly.

"Oh, yes. But not something typical. I'd like to have a bouquet made of flowers that say 'I hope you go to hell' or 'fuck you'."

Jake couldn't help the surprised laughter that bubbled past his lips at her words.

"That's oddly specific."

Nora shrugged again but a playful smile still rested upon her face.

"Well, someone did piss me off so…"

"Someone from here?" He tilted his head and watched as she stiffened. At least she was careful with what she revealed.

"Not really. I'm going back the day after tomorrow and figured the flowers would be okay for a day. Will they be okay?" She frowned.

Jake tried not to show his disappointment at that. Was she really going back or was it just a lie because he asked who they were for? He was pretty sure they were for Lilly and now he regretted asking her and making her uncomfortable.

"Oh, yeah they'll be fine. Again, would you like it now or…" he trailed off.

"I can wait!" She smiled and plopped down on a chair in front of the large window.

Jake quietly headed for the backroom, chuckling to himself while choosing the flowers that would successfully deliver her rage from earlier.

Meanwhile, Nora quickly got bored of sitting around and decided to message the hacker guy. She hadn't really talked to him these past few days and was itching for any conversation with him. Snapping a photo of the floral display, she sent it to him, knowing he'll probably figure out that she was in Duskwood now. The buzz of a phone on the counter grabbed her attention. Jake must have left it here before going to get the flowers.

She hesitated and quickly sent another text saying 'hello', raising her eyebrows when the phone buzzed again. Curiosity won and she made her way to the counter and saw her name flashing on the screen.

She grinned.

It was fifteen minutes later that Jake came back with a beautiful bouquet in hand. How he had managed to make 'fuck you' look so good, Nora might never know. He was surprised to see that she hadn't moved from her position on the chair at all but let it go without much thought.

"Ah, thank you so much, Jake!" She chirped brightly, coming to stand in front of the counter and looking at his work.

"It's no trouble." He ducked his head shyly, not being used to the praise. The townspeople were much more distant and mostly parted with a simple thank you. It was refreshing to hear that someone appreciated his more known set of skills.

"Seriously, this is so beautiful. I almost don't want to give it up." Nora didn't have any trouble communicating her genuine thoughts and now that she knew who he was, she wanted to have a little fun.

She dashed to the shelves and picked out a fully bloomed rose and put in on the counter. Despite his confusion, he rang up the rose along with everything and relayed the total amount to Nora.

She paid him and picked up the bouquet, giving him a smile and headed for the door.

"Wait! You forgot the rose." He held up the single flower but Nora just grinned.

"Ah, did I forget to mention? That's for you."

She laughed in delight at the blush that spread rapidly across his cheeks and giving him a final wink, stepped out of Plumes.

Jake covered his face with his hands and groaned loudly. Nora was going to be the death of him but he found himself thinking that maybe he wouldn't mind it, after all.

———

Jake looked at the text Nora sent him earlier, sitting in front of his computer. The rose she had given him was in a glass full of water beside his bed. Why would she send him the photo of the flowershop? Did she want him to know that she was in Duskwood?

He didn't know what to reply so he simply sent a 'pretty' and waited for her to say something. He felt himself smile when he watched the three dots on his creen, signaling she was typing. They talked about Hannah for a while before the conversation took a more personal turn.

Nora [8:45pm]

I don't want you to go.

Jake's breath hitched at the message, heart beating rapidly. How Nora managed to have this much effect on him through a screen was almost unbelievable to him. He bit his lip and the events of the past week came rushing through his mind, making him confused.

Did she like the 'Hacker' or the flower shop employee 'Jake'? He felt frustrated with the situation and himself, not knowing what to feel. He wished they could talk simply, without any investigation involved.

Nora [8:46pm]

You know, I like you

He scanned the message with furrowed eyebrows. If Nora liked him, why was she flirting with 'Jake'? He poured out all his frustration and insecurities in his reply, watching as she still tried to convince him that this–whatever he and Nora had–was okay.

He didn't want to be hurt, nor did he want to hurt her, so he did what he thought was right. The messages were almost painful to write and he shut his phone as soon as he sent them.

Rubbing his palms over his eyes, he focused on the computer in front of him. His goal was to find Hannah, he didn't need any distractions.

It was morning when he picked up his phone again, eyes scanning the last text Nora sent.

Nora [9:00pm]

I'm sorry Jake

I won't bother you about this again.

His heart almost stopped at the use of his name. How did she know? More importantly, what had he done?

#duskwood #duskwood game #everbyte #everbyte duskwood #jake #jake × player #jake × mc #duskwood fanfic #duswook fanfiction

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sinnhelmingr · 3 years ago

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“You ship what?” // @nodamnstogive

You know what, since it’s taking up roughly 80% of my available brain power rn, let’s discuss Heldolin. Bc it’s a dynamic that has evolved... a lot... across interactions w different blogs and muns. It’s a case of ‘it makes so much sense from a characterization perspective’ with Kleffy’s muse while still having room for Hel to be many things to other takes of this muse.

The first Lin I ever wrote with, who has moved on from roleplaying, had the relationship as strictly platonic. And it was baller, both Lin and Hel were the family outcasts, Hel was the perky and dark femme to that Lin’s savvy and light femme. It was a dynamic I really enjoyed of Hel being something of a confidant and partner in crime to her honorary cousin, especially in trying to be her wingman for Lin. It was fun! I liked it. It really solidified for me that Hel working w Lin had some legs in that au, regardless of who might play Lin given the political nightmare and faction mentality of that setting.

Next was uh. Someone who turned around and blocked me and from hindsight was very toxic. They tried to broach shipping their Lin muse with Hel, and I was like okay, sure, let’s see where it goes. It was... Very possessive and toxic. Lin was very codependent on Hel and yet also refused to really trust her or let her thrive. It was a major plot point that Hel, having had a relationship with Mal’s Arto, sent Lin into a fit because they were not her first. Let that one settle in. The character was punished for having a relationship while her best friend would not make their feelings known. None of this was meant to be framed as dysfunctional or even problematic, but instead a sign of Lin’s love and devotion. It was ugly. Almost put me off the ship concept entirely.

And then Kleffy comes in. Fresh into DS after being a BB stan. Looks at Lin like ‘das a nonbinary lesbean.’ Yes, I nodded, they are whatever you want them to be, the lore is so sketchy about Lin’s gender instead of their sex. So here is this absolute oddball, this stoic ball of neuroses and general weirdo energy, that encapsulates what being Lin might do to someone. Each sneg (snake-leg) got a name. Here was a Lin who stood on her own merits and not just to be with my muse. Hel and Lin were established as friends basically from the word go as small children. Here’s a crossbreed child of the highest ranking god, tender and shy, running around with Death’s exuberant and monstrous eldest child. The opposites attract/childhood best friend energy leapt off our discord threads. We did some plotting, I opened myself up to shipping again, and, well, most of my posts in that verse’s tags are just me screaming about two gay wives. Here’s a healthy, understandable take on the potential dynamic that isn’t me seeing their divorce prior to the third game as an inevitability based on dysfunction, but the actual tragedy of clashing ideals and beliefs that it should have always been.

It’s the kind of ship that canon would eviscerate, but we’re sitting here with two aus where they get to be happy either from the start, with no great cataclysmic world-ending interference, or they find that they still care for one another post-divorce and start bonding all over again after Hel saves Lin from her canonical fate. It’s just really reinvigorated not just my love for Hel and Lin interactions, but the setting in general.

#nodamnstogive #howl at the moon i'll come for you [GWYNDOLIN/HEL]

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abigailnussbaum · 4 years ago

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How to do Garak/Bashir in Canon DS9

Yesterday there was a fun tweet asking people how they would remake DS9 if they were given the option today.

Which led to some fun discussions (you can see my answers here). Obviously one thing that pretty much everyone said was “canon Garak/Bashir”. That’s generally considered one of the show’s big missed opportunities, with both Andrew J. Robinson and some of the show’s producers expressing regret over never having gone there. But it did get me thinking: how would you tell this sort of story? Because look, it’s one thing to write Garak/Bashir in fanfic, filling in gaps in the canon or changing the entire tone of the story to suit your ‘ship. But if you’re retelling DS9 along basically the same lines - the end of the Cardassian occupation, the discovery of the wormhole, the Jem’hadar, the Dominion, the war with Cardassia - and with the personalities of the characters and the tone of the show largely unchanged, how do you fit Garak/Bashir into that story?

There are some obvious issues with trying to work this ship into the show’s story and overall tone. For one thing, Bashir is a Starfleet officer. We like to make fun of his early, annoying incarnation, but even in that form he is clearly a decent, principled man with strong values. It’s one thing to flirt (literally or figuratively) with a mysterious, sexy spy, but getting into a relationship with him would not only be stupid, it would run counter to Bashir’s image of himself. You could go in a dark direction with this - Garak seduces Bashir purely as a way of gaining power over him (and perhaps out of force of habit); maybe they end up in a kind of Hannibal/Will relationship. But that doesn’t seem sustainable in the long-term, or congruent with the type of show DS9 was. Bashir can’t trust Garak, and Garak has done things that Bashir would consider disgusting. That’s something you have to take into consideration if you want to write them as a long-term couple.

It’s also worth considering that, as much as the Garak/Bashir pairing lingers over the fannish perception of the show, it’s not actually that prominent in the series itself. The last episode that I would call a Garak/Bashir story, “Our Man Bashir”, is an early S4 episode, well before the Dominion War happens. And Garak is absent for a lot of the later developments in Bashir’s life - “Doctor Bashir, I Presume” (you’d think Garak, with his complicated relationship with his father, would have something to say about Julian having been illegally genetically enhanced by his parents) or “Statistical Probabilities” (a troupe of savants who claim to be able to predict the course of the war would surely be of interest to Garak). In most of these stories, Bashir is accompanied by O’Brien, a much safer option as far as suppressed sexual tension is concerned (it should go without saying that this feels like a deliberate choice on the show’s part, to undermine any idea of a Garak/Bashir relationship). Meanwhile, Bashir is absent from most of Garak’s important Dominion War stories - his relationship with Ziyal and her death, his position in Damar’s rebellion, “In the Pale Moonlight”. So if you’re going to retell DS9 with Garak/Bashir as a real ship, you'd have to rewrite a lot of these stories to take that into account.

Finally, you’ve got the show’s ending, which is an extremely dark one for Garak, who gets everything he thought he wanted - his position restored, a place of honor in Cardassian society - just at the point where Cardassia is decimated and, in his words, left dead. Working a romance with Bashir into this ending would be tricky, and risks ending up with the final scenes of Man of Steel - two people making out atop a mass grave.

(Obviously, I’m taking it as a given that this hypothetical version of DS9 is much, much better at writing mature, complicated romantic relationships than the real one. Most actual DS9 romance was painfully juvenile, and the one exception, Sisko/Kasidy, was also an extremely low-drama ship - Sisko literally sent Kasidy to jail and the next time they met they were like “so, that was a bit of a bump in the road; dinner later?” It should go without saying that Garak/Bashir would not be a low-drama ship, so the writing would need to be there to support it.)

Anyway, complicated but obviously not impossible. This is what I’ve come up with for how I would rewrite the show with Garak/Bashir as an ongoing couple. I’m sure there’s plenty of fanfic with other, better ideas.

To start with, lose the claustrophobia business. Or, you know, keep it, but the reason Garak was expelled from the Obsidian Order and banished from Cardassia is that he’s gay. (To be fair, I feel like “claustrophobia” was pretty clearly code even in the original show.) A lot of people in the upper echelons of the Cardassian hierarchy know this - Dukat certainly knows - and miss no opportunity to harass him about it.

Obviously, in this version of the show Cardassia is deeply queerphobic. I don’t think this is a huge leap. Cardassian society is deeply conformist, and family-oriented in a fascist-adjacent sort of way that prioritizes the father as the master of the home. It’s hard to imagine a society like that tolerating deviations from gender norms, and it seems fair to assume that reprecussions for such deviations would be severe.

Garak doesn’t actually have a problem with this - or at least, not that he expresses. Garak’s defining trait is that he believes in, and loves, Cardassia deeply, and espouses its chauvinistic (in both senses of the word) values to anyone who will listen. But at the same time, he’s smart enough (and enough of an outsider) to know how hollow and destructive those values really are. So Garak will explain to anyone who challenges him on it that Cardassian homophobia is right and proper, while knowing that he has fallen victim to it himself.

Bashir is out. Though “out” might not be the right word because the Federation is so nonchalant about queerness that the notion of being closeted doesn’t really exist anymore (this is a version of Star Trek where we actually follow through on the promise of a more progressive future). But at any rate, to Bashir and the other Starfleet characters, him being gay is so unremarkable that it doesn’t even come up until his and Garak’s frienship is already established. This deeply shocks Garak - he knew humans were perverted, but the good Doctor, his friend? Bashir, meanwhile, wastes no opportunity to needle Garak about his society’s barbaric homophobia (Garak: “humans may be prone to such... urges, but Cardassians are made of finer stuff”; Bashir: *rolls eyes so hard he can see the back of his head*). But at the same time, and without being entirely willing to admit it to himself, Garak is intrigued.

And so we continue for about five seasons. Garak flirts with Bashir, partly because he thinks this is a way of unsettling the good Doctor, but really because he wants him. Bashir assumes that it’s all an act, and plays along with it a little because, hey, sexy spy. But he never imagines that it could go somewhere real, and probably wouldn’t follow through if it did.

And then Bashir gets replaced with a Changeling (this is a version of DS9 where that idea was seeded throughout the first half of the fifth season instead of being decided on five minutes before “In Purgatory’s Shadow” started shooting). And the changeling takes one look at Garak, sees an obvious in, and seduces him. Which clearly causes some awkwardness when Garak finds the real Bashir in a Dominion prison camp.

Bashir finds out. Worf tells him (this is a version of Worf who isn’t weirdly sexist and judgmental about other people’s sex lives). (Bashir: “why is Garak being so weird around me?”; Worf: “he and the fake you were doing it”; Bashir: “what”; Worf: “they were boning”; Bashir: “WHAT”; Worf: “they were engaging in sexual intercourse”; Bashir: “that's not possible. Garak only flirts with me to keep me on my toes”; Worf: *shrugs* “if that’s what you want to call it”.)

So now Bashir is upset because he’s spent the last five years bugging Garak about Cardassian homophobia and it turns out that Garak was a victim of it, plus he’s now been victimized by someone wearing Bashir’s face. And Garak is upset because he let his attraction to Bashir (Garak: “my base lust!”) blind him to the fact that his friend had been replaced by a changeling, leading to him being comromised as an agent (I will leave it as an exercise to the readers which one bothers him more). And, well, if you can’t get from there to romance on your own, you may not have read enough fanfic in your life.

Then you get the war, and honestly, I don’t know. You could do an on/off thing. You could make it a very casual relationship in between the two of them trying not to die and/or lose the Alpha Quadrant to the Dominion. You could have Bashir say “fuck it, I might die tomorrow and this guy makes me happy; who cares if my boyfriend is a liar and a murderer”. You could even go the Worf/Jadzia route and have them muse romantically about having a life together after the war. But either way, they spend more time around each other than they did in the original series.

But! When Garak goes back to Cardassia to help Damar’s rebellion, there’s a lot of tension between them, because Damar heard from Dukat that Garak is a pervert (you could still keep Ziyal’s death and Garak’s anger at Damar over it; those two always made more sense as friends anyway). And then it turns out that there’s an entire Cardassian queer underground, and in typical Cardassian fashion they’ve turned it into a whole spy network with operatives at every level of government. (Garak: “why did you never approach me?”; queer Cardassian underground: “dude, have you met you?”) And they’re willing to work with Damar if he promises that in the new Cardassia, they will no longer be persecuted (I think this dovetails pretty nicely with Garak’s observation that Damar needs to be disillusioned about the flaws of Cardassian society). So all of a sudden Garak is looking at a future where what he is doesn’t make him a pariah anymore.

And then you get to the destruction of Cardassia, and, again, I’m not sure how that combines with Garak/Bashir. The entire ending of DS9 is pretty rough on romantic pairings in general, but at least when Kira/Odo and Sisko/Kasidy break up, it’s bittersweet, and in service of other new beginnings. Garak’s ending is just bleak, and I’m not sure how you deal with a romance on top of that. The best I can come up with is Bashir saying “yes, this is horrible, but you can rebuild, and if you need my help with that, I’m not far”, leaving a door open for them to reconnect in the future.

Thoughts?

#deep space nine #garak/bashir #this got long

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dhampirslays · 4 years ago

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@naturesloopholed sent an ask from this set of headcanons !

What does your muse think of their own height ?

Surprisingly, her height isn’t something that Jo dislikes and it also helps that her mother and the majority of her family happen to be an inch shorter than her ( with the exception being her father, Spike, cause god forbid that the vampire demon bit down on the entirety of his 5′’10′ of height ) . Overall, she kind of likes the aspect of being a tad short despite her friends calling her a midget on occasion ― when the push comes to the shove, her short of a height and the small of a build can make the difference between life and death, like, per se squeeze through a small opening, or crawl under furniture. In the end, it’s an asset that can come in handy. . . Not to mention that she looks hella cute in heels.

What does your muse think of their own age ?

Okay that one is tricky ― as a younger slayer, she certainly holds the advantage of better physique which in return aids fighting skills as well as better healing factor BUT. . . it really does suck that just because she is the youngest in the Summers family, she also gets treated like an over-all infant. Which she is not, but in the eyes of a parent, their child always remains a baby. . . and when one party of your parents happens to be an undead, 1800s guy who grew up the old fashioned way, it’s more than likely that Jo will continue to be a child in his eyes ― even if by some miracle she happens to reach the age of 40 something. ( but he has made some great steps forward in his parenting, so good for you, Spike ) . Buffy, on the other hand doesn’t treat Jo like a child ( an impulsive teenager at best ) because she considers her a child but rather because as a more experienced, more skilled Slayer, she wants to shelter her from a world that has proven to be more cruel than anything. Of course, Jo doesn’t see it like that ― what kid ever would ? But, I think that when she becomes a parent herself she’ll most likely treat her child the same way, just like Joyce did with teenage Buffy in the past.

What does your muse think of their own appearance ?

In contrary to what Jo lets other people believe ― she knows she is pretty. Of course she does, considering she has a reflection and of course, well, eyes. She has also experienced college and she has known for a fact that both genders deem her attractive ― and even if it’s immoral and shallow, sometimes she has used her looks to her gain; whether that is information out of demons ( but ew, gross, bad Joyce ) or a night-stand here and there because even if she does keep a level head for most of the time, she is still a nine-teen year old hormonal girl and as Faith Lehane has pre-established and I quote. . . isn’t it crazy how slaying always make you hungry and horny ? But let’s keep it PG-13 in this head-canon !

What does your muse think of their own fitness ?

If her success in slaying is any indication, Jo is very fit. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes she can eat an entire train wagon when she binge watches tv ( especially the shows that play late at night ) but those are calories that she’ll burn at next night’s patrol. More often than not, patrolling always leads to stray demons causing havoc and it’s not like she can bully them out to stay quiet ( though she has tried it at some low-life demons who piss their pants when the concept of a Slayer comes in mind, especially now that there are like, a thousand of them out in the world ) . In addition, one of the perks of growing up with Spike has been that he was more than eager to train her every time that she came home from school ― and provided that he has killed two slayers in the two hundred years of life give or take, he is not the one to hold back. Actually, now that her mother is back home, she has been training with her as well. . . And as sweet as Buffy Summers can be, even her holding back can be quite. . . painful.

What does your muse think of their own abilities ?

As far as abilities are concerned, Jo doesn’t have many ― or maybe she does and she doesn’t know about it ( although the chances of that being true are really, really slim ) given that dhampirs are a fairly new addition to the buffyverse as we know it. The only canon dhampir in the series has been Connor Angel and given his distrust of his father, Angel, he didn’t stick around for the lot for us to be able to count in precise his abilities. So, until the novels or the following comic book reveal to us something that we don’t know other than super-human strength, agility, healing factor which mimic the properties a Slayer has, I’ll be focusing more on the Slayer abilities.

Granted, a Slayer in the past ― actually, so long ago that it pre-dates human history and language ― has been the result of a demon who, with the help of a group of humans ( the then still unformed Watcher’s council ) and with the aid of magic, merged with a girl in order to keep humanity safe from the forces of darkness. When a Slayer, for whatever reason and however long, dies, another girl with the potential to become the next Slayer inherits said abilities that include but are not limited to; superhuman speed, reflexes, strength, agility, healing, stamina and the creepiest of them all ― dreams. That can either be prophesy dreams of an upcoming evil that the slayer senses have picked up upon and are trying to push into the human awareness or the ol’ reliable, I’ve seen your death. Which, in this situation actually translates to; I’ve dreamed of your death but because I was you in a whatever distorted previous life of sorts, I’m experiencing it first hand; it also means that, the Slayer who is activated next in line gets a front seat at all of the former Slayers ( yes, Slayer(s). Plural. ALL of them ) memories, knowledge and death. It is why some Slayers have gone mad when said memories hit off too hard and mix with a girl’s trauma, and why others wake up to be the ultimate death machines in the spam of a night.

But overall, when you’re 14, you’re seeping to attend a Geometry test the day after and suddenly you’re experiencing the 480th Slayer’s line within the spam of a week. . . it may not be the most ideal thing to go through.

Especially since the Slayer abilities don’t have a specific time to kick in. Some can be activated at the age of 6 ( which, like Joyce, you have a elementary school girl who knows all too much about how to gut someone and get away with it all within the span of 10 minutes which, not gonna lie, makes it sort of creepy ) or, if you’re luckier, later on in life. That’s unless the forces of darkness don’t have another epiphany and start murdering potential Slayers to keep them from becoming actual Slayers altogether.

Both scenarios suck and I don’t know with what degree to rate them.

What does your muse think of their own mind ?

There’s a lot of ways to describe how Jo things and albeit not even I, at times, know how she operates, the best way to describe her mind and a person, is broken. Even if her mother had a solid reason to not be present throughout her life, it doesn’t undo the fact that Jo has missed her for the entirety of it and has since been clinging on to fading memories of her. It’s even worse if you consider that she grew up with Spike who, may have been her biological father who she loved regardless, but she didn’t know it; In her eyes, her mother left her and her father didn’t even know she existed so, in other words ― somewhat of an orphan.

That may have been partially why she didn’t want to let Ethan go and why he died in the process ― because she had been desperate for love and he gave said love back to her. That was another thing that screwed with her head. Altogether being cheated on next by her girlfriend resulted in losing trust in relationships and then the years of the arena that followed had her losing trust in people in general. Why is that ?

Well. . .

A Watcher is supposed to be a person a Slayer trusts 1000%. Since the begging of time, it had been a Slayer and her Watcher ― and Jo’s Watcher’s ideals had been so much corrupted that he broke that trust. That’s the ultimate betrayal and it basically proved to her that anyone can be capable of it.

She is a generally broken person and I could go on for ages about how fundamentally screwed up she is but we’d be discussing it years on an end.

Bonus question; What does your muse think of their own mun ?

“ She’s cringy, evil and I’m sincerely scared of my future while it lays within her grasp. Please send me off to another mun. I beg of you. “

“ But like, also don’t tell her I said anything or I’m as good as dead. ”

#naturesloopholed #ask ; answered #( i have my mother's joy and my father's anger and they're always at war ; headcanons )

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irelise · 4 years ago

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Fic “Behind the Scenes” - Alex Rider

Trying to dip my toes back into writing, so I thought I’d ramble about some fics I’ve already written! This started off as ranting about my title choice and how they’re usually Final Fantasy XIV songs I butcher in order to forcibly fit the fic, but it expanded into musings about things that didn’t make the cut into the final fic, and potential sequels/things that happen down the line.

Just doing Alex Rider fics for now since that’s my current active fandom, but drop me an ask if there are any fics you’re especially interested in from any fandom!

Starting off with: Time (2368 words, gen, Alex & Yassen focused) aka my untagged Inception-flavoured AU where the plot twist was that it was a dream all along That said, this title was probably one of the easiest to come up with and was obviously from the main theme of Inception, Time! Which is fantastic like the whole movie aaaa i love Inception AUs and this fic is probably the one I’m most likely to expand into longfic if I dredge up the motivation from somewhere. It would be a mission style fic, possibly a heist, where Alex and Yassen are seemingly working together in order to steal some valuable intel from another group. Of course, it’s all a dream! Through copious dream symbolism and mind fuckery the real mission was set up by MI6 for Alex to extract intel from Yassen, who by this point is steadily losing his grip on dreams and reality after months, possibly years, spent under sedation.

Yassen has a few tricks up his sleeve, though. He’s aware that he’s (probably) dreaming and he can see the fractures in Alex’s resolve after such a long time of being used and manipulated by MI6. It would only take a little nudge to get Alex to defect -- or, at the very least, to escape.

So while Alex is busy trying to extract information from Yassen, Yassen is trying to do the opposite: inception.

The rest below cut for length and also because they’re nsfw since most of my writing was for the kink meme! Warning for general fucked-upness and unhealthy relationships

at the end, on a dusty road (8154 words, Yassen/Alex) aka the reputation sabotage fic, aka where’s part 3b?!

Title from Origa’s Polyushka Polye:

The wind scatters your brave songs Across the green field. Songs of the past, Leaving them alone with your glory, And right at the end, on a dusty road…

i just wanted something wistful and Russian about past soldiers and fading glory ok....... I came pretty close to titling the fic leaving them alone with your past glory but decided it didn’t make much sense out of context.

ANYWAY my first Yalex fic! Very much inspired by a hodgepodge of comments on Discord about how MI6 would react if they ever saw Yassen paying Alex visits in the middle of the night - “Could they be exchanging information?” “The whole night? Maybe the answer is something more obvious...”

ANYWAY the ending at the moment is pretty open - there’s two main ways I see it going:

1) Yassen comes back shortly afterwards, realises he had fucked up colossally, stays and helps Alex rebuild even though Alex (very justifiably) no longer trusts him. Very slow reconciliation and healing but ultimately happy ending.

2) aka the one where I broke Nanibun’s shipper heart over Discord: Alex and Yassen eventually reunite, but it isn’t until years later, when Alex is nearing middle age and Yassen has faded into obscurity. Alex managed to pick up the pieces of his life and even moved on properly from MI6, and now lives a fulfilling life. Married, 2.5 kids, white picket fence, the whole lot. So what if his marriage is more for partnership than for love? He’s content with the direction his life had taken and has strong ties to his community. He even managed to forgive Yassen, even though it took him a long time.

He and Yassen meet for the last time in a sunlit cafe in spring. Alex looks at Yassen and sees only a stranger with lines crinkling under his eyes.Yassen is getting old, he realizes. He thinks he should be happy that Yassen even had the chance to get old, but all he feels is relief that their paths had diverged. Alex is done with that life and he can never trust Yassen again. All that old passion had burned away to nothing, not even a flickering flame. Even though the initial parting had been painful, Alex had managed to find peace long ago, and he hopes Yassen will be able to do the same. But it's a distant, unemotional hope, the sort of hope you'd have for a distant acquaintance you haven't seen in years. The type of well wishes that are etiquette more than actual sentiment.

He's glad when their drinks are finished and Yassen melts away into the chattering springtime crowd, one final dangling chapter of his life closed at last.

...............or, 3) Alex throws himself into increasingly dangerous situations in an attempt to feel something and dies young.

(part 3b is coming someday i swear! it’s the alternate path where Yassen has second thoughts, tells Alex the truth, and doesn’t send the sex tape to MI6)

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Lemniscate (3562 words, Julia Rothman/Yassen) Not a whole lot to say about this one, except after I finished I realised it was really similar to another fic I previously wrote which also involved a young man desperate to reinvent himself completely being taken advantage of by his superior............ i have a Type

Title - I was jamming out to Locus while writing this which is a song all about an inability to escape from cycles - When fighting back right out of this system/Means falling back right into this space ; When falling back is better than simply/Falling back into pieces again - but it was long and unwieldy so I thought about shortening it to Moebius but that was a bit overdone... In the end I settled with Lemniscate which is also an infinity symbol, Moebius-like shape. Mostly it’s a reference to how Yassen never quite breaks free of his “cycle” even though he’s with Scorpia now - he was Sharkovsky’s slave and bedwarmer and...now he plays basically the same role for Julia Rothman. (Just with a bit more murder and moral erosion!)

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This probably needs a special content warning - major character death (gun suicide from the second Russian roulette scene), gore, necrophilia

closing the circle (3650 words, John Rider & Yassen) aka is it still a gen fic if there’s offscreen necrophilia?

This was originally written for a kink meme prompt for corpse mutilation + necrophilia but then the John and Yassen plot thread kind of took over and I never actually ended up writing the gory stuff oops since it was too out of place compared to the rest. So everything below can be considered not “canon” since the fic diverged so heavily from its original plan (which is why the section numbers skip around - I cut out Yassen’s bits). But if you’re curious, here’s the details for what I originally planned to happen to Yassen (well, his corpse) and the Sharkovsky family, copy-pasted straight from my notes and full of as much karma as I could stuff in:

Yassen’s death, Sharkovsky shoves his fingers in the bullet hole and spits on the body in disgust. Yassen regains consciousness halfway through this; he can feel what Sharkovsky is doing

Ivan comes running in, attracted by the sound of the gunshot. Sharkovsky tells him to do what he likes with the body as long as it’s disposed of in the end. Necrophilia scene? Afterwards Ivan disposes of the body by locking it in the cellar alone with the Dalmatian for a few days

Yassen starts getting his revenge. Ivan is the first to go when he comes to let the Dalmatian out – the Dalmatian savages him and tears out his throat before it’s finally shot. Yassen’s bones get buried along with the Dalmatian. Ivan’s body is kept in the cold storage room in the basement where they kept the old food taster’s body while they decide what to do with him.

Maya, Sharkovsky’s wife, is next. She passes away in the middle of the night. Sharkovsky wakes up next to a cooling corpse.

There are whispers that there is some sort of curse. One of the maids talk about finding blood on the carpet of Sharkovsky’s study. She’s the next to disappear. Some other workers stop turning up.

Finally it’s Sharkovsky’s turn. He dies of poison. The dacha burns down that same night.

A Scorpia agent was sent to tie up loose ends (Scorpia didn’t know Sharkovsky is already dead); Yassen kills him too. He has no loyalty to Scorpia and just wants to be left alone.

Hunter is sent to investigate. He and Yassen talk, in the end, Hunter invites Yassen to come with him, Yassen agrees. But when they leave the dacha and Hunter looks back, he finds that Yassen is gone.

And an excerpt:

Yassen is dead. He does not remember dying. There are some things the human mind tries to shield itself from, and the memory of a bullet traveling through bone and brain to erupt on the other side in a shower of gore is one of those things.

Yassen is dead. He had hoped death would mean oblivion. At his most naïve and optimistic, he had hoped death would mean reunion. Happiness. A return to simpler days.

He discovers, instead, that death is not so different from life, except he is even more powerless now than before.

There is a body on the floor of Sharkovsky’s study. Its hair had once been pale white-blond, but now it is matted with coagulating blood. That same blood spreads in a dark pool against the carpet, clotting the fibres together into ugly clumps, stiff and flaking. The fire in the hearth is still burning sullenly. Its light glistens against the grotesque strands of viscera splattered against the ground, the furniture, the wall. A round hole had been punched into the side of the corpse’s head, piercing bone and brain. That was how the man who had once been Yassen Gregorovich had killed himself. The fingers of the corpse remain loosely curled around the old-fashioned revolver that had been the instrument of death.

The only living person in the room rises slowly from his wheelchair. Sharkovsky’s skeletal face is twisted into an ugly grimace of anger. He totters over to the corpse, nudging it with the tip of one polished leather shoe. “Waste of time,” he says coldly. “Ruining a perfectly good carpet, and for what?”

In a sudden fit of temper, he lashes out with a kick. Once, it would have been strong enough to break several ribs (Yassen knows from intimate experience). Now, the corpse merely flops limply to one side. It incenses Sharkovsky further. He drops heavily to his knees, breathing harshly, and backhands the corpse across the face with one shaking hand.

#fandom: alex rider #My writing #meta

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slashedthroughtheheart · 4 years ago

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Commission prices!

Heya~ Local cryptid writer here with my do’s and don’ts!

First, any word count estimates will be given after I receive a prompt and I will check with you if that estimate fits what you want! We can negotiate it to be less if that’s what you need/can afford. Either way, I will write to the word count every time.

However, if I go over estimate word count, you will not be charged extra. Sometimes the muse decides how long a fic actually is despite clear goals set close. If you love it, you can always leave me a tip but don’t feel pressured just because a plot what plot/porn without plot turned out to have some plot in it because I got carried away.

Currency is in USD

Flat rate for a full one shot fic (1k): $10

Flat rate for a full one shot fic (2k): $15

Flat rate for a full one shot fic (3k): $20

Flat rate for a full one shot fic (4k): $25

Flat rate for a full one shot fic (5k): $30

I do longer fics than this all the time, but when writing for stuff I’m not personally into, this is about the cap I’d be able to get to. If you give me a prompt that aligns with my own interests, you can likely expect an Over the Estimate fic, but I will try to stick to within 1k words of the estimate.

Additionals/Add ons for fics!

If you don’t have a prompt, but have a character and general kink/idea in mind, I can write a prompt and send it to you for approval before I start a fic. The first time will be free, but if I have to think of a different prompt than the initial sent, it will be an additional $5 if I do write the fic out.

For all characters you will be asked if you want My headcanons for them. If you would like to feature your own headcanons that are Major changes (Ie: If you think someone is a sub rather than a dom like I think or vice versa) then you will pay $3 extra. If it’s something minor like a trans headcanon, no extra charge!

Stories featuring OCs: Add $5 to one of the flat rates if it is an OC I have done before. If it is a new one, Add $8 since the work of learning a new character is a lot to handle.

Adding another sex scene to any 18+. One is included, but if you want a second separate scene, add $3

If you wanna read some of my works, you can go to my Ao3 at HaruyamaYuri or look around this blogs My Writing tag.

If you would like a quote/estimation of price for a commission, dm me! And if you’re not certain if I write for a character, you can also pop in for one of those!

Please come ready with your prompt, even if it’s just a basic idea and what you want included and how you think it might go down. It’ll help me give a better estimate if you have a fully fledged idea for me to think about and work with!

What I WON’T write: Incest, vomit, hard vore, scat, zo//o/philia, non-con (consensual non-con and some dub-con is okay on a case by case basis) anyone under 18 and I don’t age up! I have a fic of Max Thompson Jr when he was younger, but he is still 18 and in canon he is very much of age when we personally get introduced to him, so aging him down to 18 was needed for the story to work because of timelines. If your character starts as an adult but you want them younger, 18 is my limit at how young they can get unless it is 100% a sfw/non-sexual fic. If you aren’t sure about me being okay writing a kink, just dm me and ask! I’d be happy to let you know!

So far, this blog is only for slashers and the killers from Dead by Daylight. I am mainly into Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, both Leatherface’s, and most of the male killers from DBD. I can write for the female ones, but I’m much more comfortable writing for male slashers/killers. If you’re wondering if I’ll write for a specific character, just dm me! I could likely write for your character given a bit of time and learning the source material well enough.

Relationship combos I do: Canon/reader is my bread and butter, but I can do canon/canon or canon/OC. And if given enough source material/references, I could do OC/reader. I don’t want to say I’d do OC/OC because I have to have some kind of frame of reference to start from and not knowing either personally would be difficult for me. If you want a pairing with an OC in it at all, you need to be ready to answer any questions I come up with during the writing process if I can’t figure it out from the references you give me.

I’ll start by having slots for fics so everyone can see if there’s any available. However, I can create a waitlist if needed! So don’t be afraid to dm me even if the slots are full!

I will communicate through the whole process of writing your commission. If something comes up in my life that will delay anything, I will let you know. Usually, I can finish a long fic of about 5k words within 2 or 3 weeks if it’s not something I’m personally into. So most fics will be out within 2 to 3 weeks. I may need breaks between fics, and I will always keep people updated on that!

Payments accepted: Paypal and Cashapp. If paying through cashapp, we can discuss that in DM. Paypal link will be added to my bio, but I can also send it in dms as well!

Waitlist info: If you do not respond to me letting you know I’m ready to take your prompt within 48 hours I’ll go down the list to the next person! If you are more easily accessible on a different social media, you can share that with my via dm and I can do my best to contact you there when a spot opens up as well as dms here on tumblr. You can always dm me back if you missed your window to keep you in the rotation! And don’t worry about telling me to skip you or that you don’t want the fic anymore for whatever reason! There is zero pressure!

#Commissions #writing commissions #commission page #fic commission #dead by daylight

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hcrofraid · 6 years ago

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Rules:

HALLO THERE! Here’s my rules! They’re a bit long, but hopefully you can push through ‘em and we can get a chance at interaction!

1. Themes might vary with this blog. Although I’m typically SFW, I might touch upon dark topics here and there.

Things will be tagged! I’ll try my best, anyways. If you want something in particular tagged, please let me know. The format I use for tagging is, for example, tw: swearing.

I don’t have any triggers but I do ask you tag all of your NSFW content.

That said, I won’t do anything NSFW - gore is okay, though.

I’m of age.

2. I‘m a little selective, but otherwise - I’m open to canon, au, crossover, and original characters! As long as their muns rp literately/write para.

If it’s a crossover, I have to know the fandom and be at least a little bit confident with it. This is so I’m able to work with you, our thread and have muse for it.

Absolutely no godmodding. It ain’t fun, fam. If you’re not sure what this term means, do look it up. This includes powerplaying, metagaming, and other things of that nature. This applies especially in fights if they happen (I’m chance-based and hope that you are too).

I can be picky with OCs. But rest assured, if you’ve followed me/interacted with my promo, I’ll always give your pages a read.

Please don’t be offended if I don’t want to interact with you (and please don’t try to guilt me into doing so!).

As for following back, I usually take a week tops to do so - but if you’ve hit up my promo, I go through that eventually.

As I’ve said, I’m selective and as a result mutuals do take priority - but I don’t have to be following you for you to interact with me. It just means I’m more likely to interact with you if you’re a mutual.

3. Please don’t rush me for starters or responses.

PLEASE understand that I have blogs galore and my muse tends to fluctuate; this can mean I’m everywhere at once and can end up neglecting a blog or two. It’s nothing personal; you know how muses are! Additionally, life happens to be a thing.

Please note the mun deals with anxiety and depression - this might affect how frequently she roleplays.

Chances are, I’ve probably has seen that bit of interactivity and just haven’t gotten around to responding yet.

My roleplaying style being para/multi-para, I may take a while to respond. I hoard drafts like a dragon - it’s really just the motivation to write and ship those out.

Just a reminder I hoard all your asks too, even weeks later. If I don’t respond to it, I’m either keeping it for a rainy day, or just can’t find the muse/interest for it currently. If it’s been a month or two though, just assume it wasn’t working for me unless I’ve informed you otherwise.

4. Shippings? Heck yeah I’m down for the fluffy content, as long as they’re of similar age to my boio.

If I don’t happen to be interested, don’t force anything on my character.

I do not ship incestuous ships. Do NOT follow/interact if you do.

Sontails will not be happening on this blog either, sorry.

The ship has to have chemistry; I’m generally shipping trash, but if they don’t click, they don’t click, sorry.

This is a multi-ship blog, meaning there will be more than one ship without them conflicting with eachother.

If you want to ship and I already have a ship of your choosing going with a duplicate, please don’t hesitate to hmu! My ships aren’t exclusive and each character/relationship portrayal is unique to me!

Relationships are eternal until you deem otherwise.

5. Whilst I am of age, I’m not aiming for sexual content on this blog (and will not be dealing with fetishes). That stuff makes me uncomfortable, and I typically don’t recommend pulling it with my character if you’re interacting with me. Nonetheless, should it arise, I will tag it appropriately. Also, Tails is a child. So no.

6. About reblogs…

I am not a meme source, and reblogs clog up my activity. Please reblog any memes you find on this blog from their SOURCE. The exception to this rule is if there is no source; go ahead.

I don’t feel comfortable with Personals reblogging my IC or OOC posts, so please don’t do that. If I put something in the fandom tags for whatever reason (bar promos), you’re free to, though.

Please don’t reblog my art unless I’ve drawn it specifically for you or said you can. I either have that as do not reblog for a reason, or I am planning to post it on my art blog at some point.

A few times is fine, as it happens, but repeatedly breaking these rules will result in me soft blocking you.

I try to participate in reblog karma as much as I can, but always reblog from the source/a meme source.

If a post or ask is for you, you’re free to reblog it to save it though - but only if you’re an rp blog!

7. I’m a para / multi-para blog, novella if I’m adventurous and have time. Whilst I may roleplay crack threads with shorter responses, this does not apply to all threads I write. This means:

I write my replies as detailed as I can muster.

Short responses (such as one-liners) in more serious threads where I’ve written a decent deal can instantly kill my muse for that thread.

Whilst I’d prefer for partners to at least somewhat match my length, it’s entirely up to you - just try your best and make sure you give me enough to work with. ♡

If my muse happens to go nuts out of nowhere - like, overboard - don’t stress too much about matching them.

If para roleplays aren’t your alley, I’m unlikely to roleplay with you. It’s nothing personal; it’s just finding muse for one-liner threads is incredibly difficult unless it’s dash shenanigans. Anything else outside that is fine, though - we can still have fun outside of proper threads.

If you need further context on the AU, the link to it’s tag is here! Otherwise just ask me!

Tails’ AU is one I’m very proud of and very attached to, so please don’t force your headcanons about him on me. If you’re unsure how certain events play out in the context of his universe, don’t hesitate to ask me about them!

That said, anything that might take place on this blog obviously isn’t canon to the AU itself; I just like writing for this boio and it helps me develop his character. It’s all hypothetical.

Additionally! Don’t worry too much if the headcanoned relationships between Tails and other muses don’t match yours. Those are mostly just guidelines for how Tails would USUALLY interact with your muse. I’m open to altering these relationships to better fit our threads! Don’t ever feel restricted to what I put down; it’s mostly just for context purposes because, well, Tails is absent. I’m an IM away for plotting.

8. Threads typically happen naturally with me, but if you’re looking for interaction opportunities:

I’ll have a permanent starter call somewhere for you to hit up; honestly though, if you’re a mutual? Pls feel free to hit it up.

Starter memes are the BEST way to interact me because they just yeet a prompt at my face and really help me write starters. If you see me reblog one, send one!

If there’s a verse you’re interested in, please specify.

If you want to turn an ask into a thread, go ahead!

I may not roleplay with every starter I am given - I’ll do a ‘background check’ if you’re a new blog on the block. If I don’t feel your writing style/length works with mine, I might not respond. Apologies. ;__;

Please don’t write para / novella starters up for me unless we’ve discussed something, sent something, or I’ve liked a starter call. I really don’t want to leave people hanging if I’m not interested.

IMs are open to mutuals, if you want to do any in-depth plotting.

I also have Discord! If you’re mutuals with me, feel free to ask for it!

9. Guidelines on mains and relationships:

If we’re mutuals and we interact a lot, you’re welcome to ask me if I’d like to be your main!

Please note that MAINS fall into two categories; one pertaining to Tails’ initial universe, and those pertaining to alternates. Although the latter is plenty, for clarity’s sake, there would be one alternate Tails might default to.

Please don’t be offended if I deny, though; I typically want to pick those I trust to be my mains as well as people I can comfortably write with.

Not limited to them! I roleplay with duplicates galore so don’t be afraid to hit me up if you want to interact!

Pre-established relationships are a-okay in my book; if you have an idea for a relationship between our muses we can work towards, hit me up! I reblog those pre-established relationship memes every so often too. Romantic relationships link back to the shipping guidelines.

Also, friendship/family/rivalry relationships are EXTREMELY valid to me. GIMME’ ALL THE PRECIOUS BONDING CONTENT PLS. THIS BOY NEEDS FRIENDS.

10. If you have any issues, please let me know and hopefully we can resolve it!

Mun is actually super nice, so don’t be afraid to hit her up!

I am absolutely terrible with IMs and sometimes even Discord. I either respond quickly or days later, depends on my mood. Social anxiety tends to interfere with this - but honestly, if you’ve sent something, I’ve likely read it and just haven’t gotten around to it yet! It’s nothing personal; trust me! I just need a social breather every now and again.

Please leave me out of drama; I’m here to have a good time, as is everyone else, and it pains me to see people arguing.

11. It’s easier with a clean dash for me, so I’m more likely to follow people who:

Trim their posts.

Have rules and about pages! I always read those before interacting or following!

If you don’t have either of those, I’m likely not to follow you - so make sure that you do!

12. On threads…

If you’re not interested in a thread anymore, and would like to drop it, please let me know! I’d feel terrible if we’re both not having fun with it or if partners feel overwhelmed with the amount of threads we have.

Honestly, unless I let you know, our threads have no expiry date - so no need to worry about me dropping them without telling you. I can just be quite slow sometimes.

13. Mun does not equal muse! Anything Tails might say does not reflect on how I think unless I explicitly say so.

14. Know that if I follow you, I WANT to interact with you.

I literally couldn’t care less about follower counts. I care about YOU guys and our interactions.

15. If you’re OKAY with threads being set in Tails’ universe (and acting as his inverse counterparts), please like / reply to this post! It just lets me know I’m A-OK to shoot you asks pertaining to it, rather than the usual alternate shenanigans.

16. These rules may be subject to change.

Please like this post if you’ve read the rules! You don’t have to, but it’s of personal reassurance to me if you have.

#|| rules.

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withoutcomedy · 6 years ago

Text

❊ I want to roleplay with you

((Aww I mean, I’m totally down for that. I’m always up for new roleplaying partners, though I might not be the fastest - just to warn you beforehand. I’ve tried to work on my speed recently but still. >.<))

✸ I want to plot with you

((That’s great because I love plotting! Just jump into my ims or I just jump into your’s. :’) My plotting game hasn’t been that good recently though. I’m sorry :( ))

❋ Your blog is one of my favs

((Thank you!!! That makes me very happy to hear. <3))

✦ I like seeing you on my dash

((Thank you for that too. ; u ; I hope I don’t annoy you with all of my ooc posts, though.))

@the-lost-adventurer-plum

((I mean I want to roleplay with you too!! Like very badly? :( I miss these two... I want to do something more long-term, too. Something that develops their relationship. And adds some fluff and delicious drama :’) I’m pretty sure we have something open already but if you want to I can write a new starter for you. Maybe we can plot, too, if you are interested in that.))

@burmecias-protector

❊ I want to roleplay with you

((Same here!! I’m glad that you had the courage to jump into my inbox. I love your characters and world-building, even though, so far I only know Thalessa. She is great, though!))

✸ I want to plot with you

((SAME!! Though right now, I kind of really enjoy how natural their relationship is developing. I wouldn’t want to interfere with their natural interactions too much. I will tell you though... I might have secret plans. :’) Maybe. Depends on how they will develop~))

✤ I want to ship with you

((Well.. you know. You should feel super honored because with those two, so far, I could actually see it happen? But it would be a slow burn and yeah. :V They have great chemistry though!!))

✥ I have roleplayed with you and it was great

((I agree. Our roleplays are definitely among the ones I enjoy the most right now. I don’t have that many to begin with but I love Thalessa, Sans and even Papyrus interactions so far!!))

✢ I like your characters

((Same goes back to you. <33))

✣ I like the way you express your muse(s)

((And once again, same! <3 The musings you reblog really fit her character and make you feel for her.))

✦ I like seeing you on my dash

((Same, I always get excited when I see your stuff, tbh. ^^; ))

✪ You seem like a cool person

((... I’m not though. I’m kind of an asshole tbh. But thank you!))

❇ I love the way you write

((; /// ; Thanks that helps. I really hate my recent writing. It’s nowhere as good as I used to be... so hearing that someone still enjoys it makes me happy. The same goes back to you, by the way. I do love your writing a lot!))

* I want to learn to know you

((Heheh. Same with you. But I’m really not that interesting. Mostly a disappointment when you get to know me better.))

@devotionoftheocean @syzygyofmuses

((Oh deer, since I am too lazy to copy all of these to make them quotable, I’ll just answer in one big chunk of text. My favorite thing to do.

Anyway, thank you I loved roleplaying with you too! We did only a really short roleplay but it was fun and I totally want to do more sutff with your muses (as you already know anyway).

I’m curious what it is that you are shipping though?? Our crack ship? :’D Tbh I kinda wanted to see where it goes. It was fun.

And yeah I wish our characters were friends though, but my Sans is super picky who he considers his close friends so it really depends if they will click or not. Though I have a feeling they would, depending on which character we are talking about right now. :0

Thank you, I like your muses too! I kinda even like them a bit better because they are either very creative depictions of Canon characters or complete OCs and I admire everyone who can do that. Personally, I can’t and yeah. I think I have told you these things before, too, but you know, complimenting too much (if it is honest) never hurt. :)

And I’m glad you like the way I express the boi. I assume you mean my musings? Or just my shit posts ahaha XD.I like your stuff too.

Hmm. Tbh I can see why you think he is underdeveloped. I stick to canon a lot and try to be very close to it, which kind of always limits some things I can do. However, I also would argue that I kind of know sans almost... too well??? And thus my development has kind of faltered a lot recently. In the beginning I wrote way more headcanons about things and now its just too obvious to me. xD Might sound weird but I can just go into “sans mode” and don’t need to think about it at all anymore.

Either way, I would like to develop him more, but I also want to do it slow burn. So if a thread I have leads to character development, he will get that (for this thread, since my blog isn’t one verse). But for this I need some deep character interactions... and developmental things to happen. :(

Aaah makes me glad you agree because I know how picky you are with Sans depictions ;U ; I will wear it as badge of honor!!

And your blogs are ALL my favs, even the ones I don’t know the fandoms of. But I love skimming through your stuff and I just enjoy seeing you on my dash in general. Even OOC, because your OOC stuff is very great most of the time. ;3

Well as I mentioned above, I don’t think I’m cool and I’m pretty much an asshole, but thank you very much! I think you are a cool person too!!

And as I stated above already... thank you for having confidence in me and my writing and idk if you want ot get to know me more bc i am very boring. XD But I do want to talk to you more. Aaanyway

Thanks everyone for having sent in something!! I love y’all.))

@fiflmegirrp

#ooc #saved #thank you!!! <333

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compan-heiro-blog · 6 years ago

Text

CHARACTER STUDY: Nestor

Tagged by: I yanked it

Tagging: Take it if you want to then tag me so I can read it!

note: if you got a notification that I sent you an @ it’s because I mentioned your muse in a memory question

— BASICS.

▸IS YOUR MUSE TALL/SHORT/AVERAGE? He’s a Short Bird. In canon he seems to be about “average” height for the Adult Tiny Birds of his world, but I like to headcanon him as being SLIGHTLY smaller than average. Compared to most species Nestor is very tiny indeed. He’s much smaller than most adult humans. Probably about three feet tallish? i’m not good at specifics

▸ARE THEY OKAY WITH THEIR HEIGHT? Yes. It’s been useful to be tiny in many situations. He can fit into a lot of places when he’s small. Being quick and tiny can have it’s advantages.

There are a lot of times it is very frustrating, though. Sometimes bigger species to pick Nestor up and carry him around like he’s a toy rather than a person. That feels condescending. It’s also pretty easy for people bigger than Nestor to hurt him. But sometimes Nestor can be WAY stronger than he looks (like.. actual super strength) and then people can be surprised when he win a fight with dudes a lot bigger than him.

▸WHAT’S THEIR HAIR LIKE? He doesn’t have hair he has feathers. Nestor’s feathers are very shiny and soft. Good bird feathers.

▸DO THEY SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON THEIR HAIR AND GROOMING? YES. It’s kind of embarrassing to him but he spends A LOT of time taking care of his feathers and maintaining feather health. It’s actually easy for Nestor’s feathers to be badly damaged by events in his life or by stress. He’s constantly extremely stressed and stress makes feathers weak, dingy, fall out, etc... He feels like people would judge him if they knew just how much time he spent fussing over his appearance. He keeps this a secret.

▸DOES YOUR MUSE CARE ABOUT THEIR APPEARANCE/WHAT OTHERS THINK? Yes. He pretends not to but he really really cares and he doesn’t want to be considered ugly.

▸INDOORS OR OUTDOORS? OUTDOORS

▸RAIN OR SUNSHINE? He likes both of them. He wouldn’t be happy with only having rain or only having sunshine.

▸FOREST OR BEACH? BEACH BEACH BEACH. Nestor lives close to Rio De Janeiro, beaches are a huge part of life for him. He knows how to surf. Forests are also pretty cool, but they just can’t beat the beach.

▸PRECIOUS METALS OR GEMS? He doesn’t particularly care about this stuff....

▸FLOWERS OR PERFUMES? Flowers. He tends not to like perfumes, the synthetic smell is gross and stinky to him. ~Natural~ scents are less likely to bother him.

▸PERSONALITY OR APPEARANCE? Personality, but appearance does matter to him at least a little.

▸BEING ALONE OR BEING IN A CROWD? He’d rather be in a crowd. Nestor goes need some alone time to himself once in awhile, but generally he doesn’t do well being by himself.

▸ORDER OR ANARCHY? BOTH order and anarchy are important to him. He would be miserable in a life of absolute chaos, he would be miserable in a life that’s completely structured. He needs to have both of these things to be happy.

▸PAINFUL TRUTHS OR WHITE LIES? Generally he would prefer white lies but lately he is acknowledging that painful truths are sometimes extremely important.

▸SCIENCE OR MAGIC? Nestor doesn’t feel like he understands either of these things very well.

▸PEACE OR CONFLICT? Nestor will CLAIM to want peace, but the truth is that he lives a life of conflict. Conflict is something he is used to, it’s what he knows. He tends to seek out people who are bad for him because it’s familiar. He feels uncomfortable when some of his close relationships don’t have conflict, like they’re “wrong” because he’s so used to conflicts. He’s trying to understand and learn what a healthy relationship looks like.

▸NIGHT OR DAY? Day

▸DUSK OR DAWN? Dawn. The super early mornings are so peaceful and filled with possibility.

▸WARMTH OR COLD? hrhrhrghbbh. This is a tough question for him. He lives in a place in the world that gets VERY VERY HOT so he’s like “WARMTH DOESN’T MEAN HORRIBLE SCORCHING WEATHER RIGHT?” he generally prefers the beautiful comfortable warmth that people think of as “perfect Brazilian weather” Though the cold usually doesn’t bother him too much, even cold that’s colder than he comes from he usually handles fine.

▸MANY ACQUAINTANCES OR A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS? Few close friends. Nestor doesn’t juggle many relationships very well.

▸READING OR PLAYING A GAME? GAME GAME GAME GAME

— QUESTIONNAIRE.

▸WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR MUSE’S BAD HABITS? He holds a lot of resentment and anger in his heart. He views it as useful to spend a lot of time overthinking and remembering the bad things that happen to him. He kind of drives himself crazy with his own negativity.

▸HAS YOUR MUSE LOST ANYONE CLOSE TO THEM? HOW HAS IT AFFECTED THEM? He’s never had someone he loved die, but he has had people give him ultimatums and end the friendship when they don’t get what they want from him. He’s also been broken up with before. Nestor is clingy, and the losses have made him EVEN MORE CLINGY. He’s afraid of people leaving him and he doesn’t take people trying to cut him out of his life very well.

▸WHAT ARE SOME FOND MEMORIES YOUR MUSE HAS? He has a lot of good memories and he seems to be making more and more.

Nestor has a lot of good memories of his husband giving him good cuddles and really listening to him, helping him and caring about him. He has a lot of memories of wild adventures he and his husband have been on. He fondly remembers lots of weird ideas he helped his husband with. He remembers memories that maybe should be considered bad memories, but they’re good because his wonderful husband is so supportive and sweet. They always get out of everything ok. He remembers the wonderful feeling of learning that romantic love feels good. Nestor can never forget a boy who changed his life so drastically. @fethryfatalist

Nestor has a lot of good memories with a living doll friend. She makes his world feel lighter. He loves playing games with her, seeing her laugh and smile. He remembers every little craft she makes for him. He remembers when she dedicated herself to making artwork for him to try to help him with his problems. He remembers all their sleepovers and their snuggles. He’ll never forget what it’s like to know someone who never seems to judge anyone and who’s always very safe. The way she cares so much is inspiring. @sewn-cutie

Nestor has a lot of good memories with his adopted daughter. He swells with pride when he watches her success. He feels like he’s watching her grow into a happier and more confident person now that she’s away from her biological father. He feels like he’s really made a difference in the life of someone who is wonderful and really, truly deserves it. He’ll never forget this artistic goose-duck who made him amazing gifts to show her love. He’ll remember feeling like he has a purpose and meaning. @maudgical

Nestor has memories of a dancing little bug trying to cheer him up. He remembers spending a lot of time making gifts for his bug-buddy and he remembers how happy the bug was when he gave them those gifts. He remembers his bug-pal admitting that they’re a demon... And Nestor will always remember how amazing it is to feel loved and respected by a demon. Even though his demon pal disappears often and does a lot of weird things, Nestor will never forget those moments of feeling valued by them @an-ordinary-roach

(damn writing this section made me cry, nestor loves his friends)

IT’S GOING TO BE GREAT TO HAVE HIM MAKE MORE MEMORIES WITH MORE MUSES

▸IS IT EASY FOR YOUR MUSE TO KILL? No. He’s likely never going to kill anyone.

▸WHAT’S IT LIKE WHEN YOUR MUSE BREAKS DOWN? Nestor’s break downs do not look like the typical things a person associates with emotional distress so it can be difficult for people to understand something is happening. He doesn’t do stuff like.. cry a lot.

He’s either getting extremely intense and emotional, usually angry and yelling and more prone to violence. Often when Nestor has a PTSD episode he starts becoming more aggressive and lashing out at people. He can’t think, he’s functioning more on anger-based emotions. Nestor can usually recongize when he’s getting “weird” and he usually makes a conscious effort to stay away from his loved ones until he calms down. He is in an EXTREMELY defensive, preservation, fight to protect himself sort of mood that isn’t always rational to the threat level he’s at.

OR he just becomes more subdued. He gets very quiet, he keeps to himself, he struggles with paying attention and responding well to conversations and other people. People usually don’t read this as a “break down” because it’s so subtle. Nestor often tries hard to act like he’s fine until he can leave the situation. He tries to keep paying enough attention to things to pass as normal and just “feeling shy”.

When he has break downs it’s always his instinct to go hide and become isolated until it’s over. He doesn’t seek help or comfort. He’s trying to learn that it’s ok to ask for help from his husband. Being held really does help.

Most of the really bad break downs he always does when he’s all by himself. It’s like shame and embarrassment forces him to keep it together in front of other people. He sometimes zones out and binge eats when he feels bad. He might start getting nonfunctional and have difficulty managing even basic tasks if he feels bad enough.

▸ IS YOUR MUSE CAPABLE OF TRUSTING SOMEONE WITH THEIR LIFE?

Sometimes Nestor trusts people way too easily and way too quickly, despite him trying to become more suspicious to protect himself. It’s just in his nature to keep assuming people have goodness in them.....

He will definitely trust lots of different people with his life. Even people he sort of knows he shouldn’t trust. People who have hurt him before.

▸WHAT’S YOUR MUSE LIKE WHEN THEY’RE IN LOVE?

It can be both a good and bad thing for the person Nestor is in love with.

He is a VERY DEVOTED partner. Nestor will make his partner’s happiness a priority for him. Nestor is a very “showing love with acts and service” kind of person. He does nice things for his partner, he acknowledges what his partner likes and tries to provide that for him, he tries to help his husband’s life be better and he tries to help his husband be healthier. Nestor is also VERY cuddly and very affectionate, snuggles are something he NEEDS in a relationship. He will be very lovey-dovey.

His intense devotion can actually sometimes be a problem. Nestor is extremely clingy, he starts considering his partner to be the center of his own universe, he grows a dependence on his partner and he doesn’t do very well when his partner can’t pay him sufficient attention. He’ll start becoming more non-functional and get depressed without his partner’s guidance. Nestor is also EXTREMELY jealous and possessive. His jealousy can be scary sometimes. He’s also insecure and that can cause a lot of problems.

Sometimes breaking up with Nestor can be a very, very, very bad and difficult thing. If he felt like the relationship was good and he doesn’t want to let go, he might try to stalk someone and try to “win them back” through lots of unwanted romantic gestures.

Nestor will sometimes take romantic advice from his best friend, who has some seriously questionable judgement.

But Nestor will love you with his whole heart, he will do anything for you. It’s very easy for Nestor to end up in unhealthy, codependent dynamics. It’s easy for Nestor to be manipulated. Nestor spent most of his life thinking misery is normal in relationships, so he would tolerate all sorts of terrible behavior. Nestor is lucky in that his current husband is a VERY GOOD and understanding guy. Nestor’s relationship really depends on the other person he’s with. If Nestor’s with the right person he can have a very healthy, happy and loving relationship.

#[ headcanons ]#these have some.. good questions...

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