#(( internally he's dead LOL ))
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Can you draw something with Doom Patrol!Edwin and Netflix!Edwin?
Maybe something about Dp!Edwin talking about his feelings for Charles with N!Edwin?
It's just something I've been thinking of, make it a little angsty?<3
Glad you asked
ko-fi
#ask ask ask#dead boy detectives#dbda#payneland#edwin x charles#doom patrol#dead patrol#cw homophobia#i know there are a couple of people who enjoy my rambly tags so these are for u#first of all anon i'm sorry i used your request to continue my story lol#most of my comics are meant to be standalones BUT#the doom patrol and dead girl detectives are all happening in the same universe#and there is indeed series of events here!#this particular one is happening after dp!edwin's feelings were exposed but before they met the girls#with that out of the way#i know this is not as funny as most of my stuff#but dp!edwin's internalized homophobia is an important thign that can't just go away because his charles loves him back#and he does love him back! in this verse#dp!charles is the only one not struggling with his feelings for his partner#dbd!charles and charlotte still have ways to go#also dbd!edwin is in no way an expert in self-acceptance but he has learned some things#i considered having him mention simon but i decided it wasn't his place to out him#(even though he's dead u know)#so yeah what he says here isn't... great#he's still putting himself down and he's still not sure if his feelings for charles are actually a good thing#but he knows HE is glad he feels this way#because fuck it it's not like he'll go to hell for it#and even if he did... he would crawl his way out
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Part 1 - Appreciation post for all the TFP universe Autobot mugshot cameos (known and unknown) in RID2015 3x25 (even if the context is that they've been OUSTED against their will)
#transformers rid2015#not me and my emotional crutch show comforting my broken soul after rewatching TFP for the nth time#every cameo and reference is another good hit of the Good Stuff#look at how g1 they all got i'm sobbing#smokey got so BUFF#sunstreaker confirmed canon!#boy do i have an angsty fic idea that explains sideswipes abandonment trauma#please tell me what ironhide was like i need to know#they included seaspray??? but he's dead jim#ultra magnus be snatched as ever#tfp universe wouldnt do mirage dirty like ROTB did#KNOCKOUT NOOOOO#is that sandstorm? I cannot tell because the resolution is GARBAGE#prowl look like he got big tiddies in this universe too <3#jetfire my g1 husband what happened to you#trailbreaker??? forever a highly functional alcoholic idc what you say#TRACKS MY REBEL SON#oh NO not the RESCUE BOTS they have done no wrong!!!#powerglide??? he ought to have been in there for as many times as the cons quoted him in this series#gears and.... is that moonracer???? I can only infer by color#BLASTERRRRR oh what I wouldn't give for a blaster/soundwave throwdown#oh this is sandstorm for SURE (then who's the other guy???) and my man KUP#oh no look how good looking they made roddy </3#ELITA AAAAA#wreckgar??? my trash son???#long post#maccadams#please bear with my internal dialogue#is that 6th one supposed to be tailgate??? wasn't him being dead like an ENTIRE plot point for all of TFP lol
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i think i'm starting to really like writing again :D this will have consequences
#just me hi#oho so my beloved is back from the war huh [<- had locked the doors and windows to keep its 'beloved' out and forgot about it]#that old itch to just start slapping sounds i know on a doc and hoping in 3 days it still makes sense is back lol :3#/can't read the last thing i wrote yet cuz it hasn't been three days </3#rule is i have to spend the same amount of time away from it as i spent working on it. including editing. sad!#it Does help my brain reset though. and forget about literally everything bfhvsjgh#and i know it's possible for me to finish this kinda stuff now so like. Woho !!#the power. the Powerrrr#/also tryna get more comfortable with sharing my writing so i'm starting by sending small finished stuff to like 2 people i trust kfvshg#i can handle unwarranted critiques of my art but i am not at a stage for my writing where it won't cause like international#devastation and that's goofy so Pfvhsh 👍#we're working on it :)#and i think people's reactions are amusing so ehehehghehghgehg :3 a bonus :33#//yea though i'm gonna go put some more obleas in the freezer#obleeeeeeeeaaaa can't wait to seeeee yaaaaaa. on. my. Plaaaaate#btw shoutout to eating a spoonful of cajeta at like 1 in the morning thinking everyone's asleep and then you look up and younger#sibling no. 4 is there staring dead into your eyeballs like. is there anymore#and you go uhhh yea. and then as he's walking around to get some younger sibling no. 3 rises up from seemingly nowhere like I Want Some Too#lmfshvhf#and then you're all just sitting up for about 2 more hours just talking about very dumb things and having cajeta. illegally but still hfbvh#//anyway i'm gonna depart now :) ciao toodles lol :3
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(( 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 || @idolmurdr said: [ ❛ tell me… tell me you want me. ❜ / for light because um yeah and sorry if this sends twice slkhfs ]
★ ━━━━━━ He was sat on his bed, and she had told him to close his eyes. She told him to open them, in... two minutes, and when he did, his eyes went wide and his cheeks flushed.
Her top was off; she was in her bra, which was lacy and showed the top of her chest, his eyes couldn't help but stare. She walked toward him, putting a hand on the tie he still had on, and pulled him forward, his chest met hers and he involuntarily flinched.
"Tell me… tell me you want me." The way her lips moved, they were pretty. The way she said it, it made his body warm, and one part in particular, became aroused with her words.
His body sure as hell wanted her, his lips parting as they were so damn dry. "I—I want you. I don't know what to do, but I want you." His crotch felt weird...
#『 route locked // in character 』#『 beep beep on the coil // asks 』#idolmurdr#( idolmurdr // misa misa )#* // caught in a wicked game we both play [idolmurdr] light & misa misa )#(( internally he's dead LOL ))#suggestive cw
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ok but the japanese l4d survivor blake jordon… we need more fanart and content and head canons and
#l4d#l4d2#left 4 dead#left 4 dead 2#will be adding him into fics#his bio says he was a bartender at the hotel with the outbreak hit#was in the army at one point and tries to stay positive but can’t help thinking about the dog he left at home#i’d imagine him having a southern accent as well#being a nice normal guy who overall doesn’t say much and is always internally panicking#but if someone asks if he’s okay he immediately snaps into a i’m okay everything is going to be okay! front#i am obsessed with him now#everyone would love him#even nick lol
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J.L. Laynesmith taking the 'Buckingham Did It™' route for the murder of the Princes in the Tower AND the rumors of Edward IV's bastardy ... I have to laugh
#my post#history media#this was in her book 'Cecily Duchess of York' which I have ... Thoughts on#I really liked it overall - it was meticulously researched and gave me information that I hadn't previously known about Cecily#However this often contrasts with Laynesmith's own very evident biases assumptions and conjecture#and the effect is very jarring#This becomes slightly more pronounced after 1464 and actually ridiculous after 1483.#She also suggests that Henry VI may have genuinely died of a melancholy-induced stroke like Edward IV claimed which is just...lmfao#I don't know what to say at this point lol#To be fair she does specifically note that he died shortly after Edward arrived in London and that most contemporaries believed#it was far too convenient#which is far more acknowledgement and culpability than she gives Richard III whose culpability for the 'disappearance' of his nephews is#literally never touched upon - the blame is conveniently dumped on Buckingham#honestly the whole Deal with Buckingham is so odd. dude was a political neophyte; was given a primarily ceremonial role by Edward IV#throughout his reign and was younger than Richard (who was a seasoned politician). What makes you think Buckingham of all people#was some kind of political genius and making decisions over RICHARD of all people lol?#anyway#This book was pretty decent with Margaret of Anjou which was great#it was less decent with Elizabeth Woodville which was not so great :/#some of the assumptions it made (for Cecily's benefit naturally) were so weird#and the way she 'reassessed' Elizabeth's role in 1483 was very distasteful#I might make a separate post on that because it was very annoying#(also claiming Henry Tudor landed with 'a small band of Lancastrian exiles' - yeah no. the majority of the 'exiles' who supported him were#Yorkist aka Edward IV's supporters who opposed Richard. because this was very much an internal civil war between the dynasty#and Henry became a claimant only after being chosen by Yorkists after the October risings made clear the Princes were dead#the claim that challenged Richard's was Elizabeth of York not Henry's. let's not twist words here)#(ALSO I'm sorry but William Stanley certainly did not choose to commit his troops to Henry Tudor because Henry was 'his brother's stepson'#he did that out of loyalty to Edward IV and his children as Henry was the chosen claimant of the Yorkist faction#hence why he may have betrayed Henry VII in the 1490s for Perkin Warbeck who pretended to be Edward's second son. so jot that down)#you really see these small minor details which are very much chosen purposefully and paint a very different picture lol
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dead cells show looks sooo ugly but aside from that it does look fun to watch ngl.... i feel so conflicted
#ghost town... 2!#dead cells#catch me in 2025 getting the Dead Cells Spark Of Inspiration again and reanimating my favorite scenes in the fatal falls trailer style#or the original trailer style idk (fatal falls is just my favorite bc i love serenade lol)#also why is mr robert cells speaking out loud. illegal????#i thought that would've been a big reason for there being a new character as a second main protagonist alongside beheaded#like having a communication barrier between him and any other character would've been hard to work with for a whole series#so they decided their way to work around that would be to have a second protagonist to help fill that role#but nah he just talks anyways lmao. it feels weird but i guess we'll see how it pans out (pun maybe a little bit intended)#oh but also i do like the other protag so far she seems cool :) a welcome addition regardless imo#(also to be clear i didn't think beheaded was gonna be completely voiceless the whole series lol)#(i was expecting him to be voiced but only as internal monologue similar to what goes on in the game)#(him speaking out loud was just unexpected to me)#edit to add: maybe the art style isn't too bad but it's just way different than i was expecting. idk yet
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Aaooughh razclem on the brain
#they’re sosososo interesting to me#I hc that Clem had a crush on Raz back at camp#also that he got attached to Raz since from what Raz says abt his dad before meat circus ( ie him being anti psychic )#Clem related super hard bc his own dad is very anti psychic ( also just an overall abusive person )#so when he actually meets Augustus in that short period of time before RoR/Pn2#and finds out that he’s actually a decent person#Clem is kinda crushed bc he thought he had someone who had a similar struggle to him#which festers into a bitter jealousy when he’s older#which isn’t helped by the fact when Clem joins the intern program Raz is kinda dead set on trying to help Clem with his issues#bc Raz feels really guilty for not realizing back at camp#( he doesn’t do the walking on eggshells thing like he did with Crystal though )#but due to Clems attitude he starts to get worn down#Crystal even warns Raz not to push himself to help Clem at the expense of his mental health/well being#bc she herself was in a very similar position before she and Clem had their falling out#but Raz doesn’t listen and eventually Clem goes too far and makes a really nasty remark about Razs family ( possibly maligua related )#and Raz loses it#he and Clem get into a huge fight and after that they avoid eachother or get into arguments with eachother#I have many more thoughts abt this but I’m gonna run out of tags lol#psychonauts#clem foote#razputin aquato
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when I think about Geto Suguru i want to kill and torture him when I think about Mimiko and Nanako I want to kms. You give me twins who went from physical abuse to being in a cult and you don't even give them the grace of the guy who is basically Their Dad But Worse dying while they're alive? You just kill the bc. Fucking. Idk they fed him some fingers. You don't let them live without their fucking garbage dad who I want to kill and torture? You waste their potential? You waste the girls who could be really fascinating parallels to Maki and Mai? Twins with similar name schemes who suffer extreme abuse and their abusers are all massacred by one person- but while Mimiko and Nanako are everything to each other, Maki and Mai were pitted against each other and only able to connect at the last possible moment? Mimiko and Nanako were saved but Maki was saved by Mai, and then had to save herself??? I'm going to start killing innocent people at random.
#Suicide ment#You do this to me? You give me girls who were raised in a cult and exited on traumatic terms (their fucking father who was the cult leade#Died and left ALL OF THEM ALONE) and they have no one but each other? And you don't give them the space to grow and reconcile not only thei#Earlier trauma and also the fact their father WAS A CULT LEADER. like is Geto their dad? Yes. Does he think of them as his daughters???#Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I don't think so tbh!!!#I think he sees them as sorcerers first people second and that's. Uoouhjojhghhhhhh. Knowing yr dad only saved you becuase you were sorcerer#Like... Maybe he would've saved them even if they werent. But he probably frames Them Being Sorcerers as the most important part of them#God yeah they internalized his awful eugenicist beliefs but also. Genuinely. They kind of had to. He was their fucking father#He raised them fed them gave them shelter. Can you fucking speak up against that? Maybe he wouldn't have punished them but.#He fucking murdered a village. Do they know if they're safe? I'm going to throw up. I fucking hate Suguru I'm going to lose my mind.#Fuck megumi IDC about what happens to him I just want Sukuna dead and in hell for what he did to them.#I need Suguru to experience an eternity of pain for what he's done. I'm going to kill myself. Mimiko and Nanako deserved better. Anywyas#Suguru: haha I hate this guy. I wanna get a Suguru plus and crucify it lol#Mimiko + Nanako: my real life mental illnesses are getting exponentially worse
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"wow how pathetic it is of a man who isn't much of a fighter to be afraid and want to live in the middle of aggressors invading his lands"
WHY WON'T U JUST GIVE UP AND STOP DEFENDING YOUR LANDS THAT WE'RE INVADING AND ATTACKING ON TOP OF YOU LITERALLY DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO US
#DCB Three Hopes Run#i care for you dearly monica but this just ain't it#at the time of posting this I've cleared most of the maps in the game on all difficulties#save for a chunk of AG's stuff which the lead up maps I'm still going through#and am not sure if I plan to finish the maddening ones during my next full playthrough#but boy am I enjoying being out of the victim blaming zone. I don't mind the chapters that are like#internal struggles like Ludwig or the returning to Enbarr assassination attempt chapter#but it's when it gets into all the Kingdom/Church (and somewhat Alliance) stuff that it just feels gross to me#SB wouldn't have been all that bad probably at all if it focused on Edelgard versus#internal strife in Adrestia and fighting TWS bc those chapters are all fine???#literally like any chapters not revolving around the conquest aspect are fine#but then you get dumb shit lines like these that remind me why I hate Edelgard's routes#and it's not just that I don't like her as a person/character but also like the way the narrative itself tries to#frame the whole victim blaming as being correct and the right thing and the right side and stuff#like at least admit as part of the immediate narrative that the victim blaming just ain't cool#have like idk Ferdinand say something abt it (but ig he can't bc Hopes reduced him to yet another Edelsimp)#don't try to frame it as lol yeah they're ACTUALLY shitty ppl for defending their home from aggressors invading#posting this in the dead of the morning bc i wanna bring it up but also like#fewer ppl on at this time lol it's just smth that rly frustrates me bc SB had potential and they squandered most of it
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#IM SO FUCKING MISERABLEEEEEEEE#anyway. decided officially today bc my mind is fucked up like that#but w/e#anyway yeah. today my father (?) has chosen to forsake any kind of relationship whatsoever!#he had the audacity to come to me afterwards and be like ‘i care. i care!!’#and i asked him to show it. prove it! and he had no answer! just like he hasn’t for the past thirty years!#sorry bitch! you don’t get a participation trophy when it comes to parenting! you either do it or you don’t!#anyway. speaking to him as though i don’t really care (working on it) is. disgustingly fulfilling#it’s bc it’s just what i call ‘bitch me’ speaking my mind instead of suppressing it like i do all other facets of my personality#while living here. it’s great! it’s awesome!#i’m internalizing my therapist trying to beat into my thick goddamn skull that this is an Abusive Environment and an Abusive Household#and he used those words specifically and he used the upper case i could hear it#and that cognitive dissonance has been fun!#anyway. at my fucking limit!#so grateful i’m going to be with people that actually care for and love me#and that i care for and love endlessly back as soon as less than 24 hrs#vaguely concerned having to go back will break me?#*!#but that sounds like a problem for sober and tomorrow me#in the meantime. i play dead by daylight. bc im v good at avoiding being killed/being allowed the hatch#and it’s oddly affirming#or maybe an extremely fucked up version of ‘everyone for themselves’ OR ‘no one gets lefts behind’#very fun mind games to play with myself. for no reason.#did i mention im drunk#i’m drunk lol#delete later? yeah prob
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@dxncingxqueen cont. from (X)
"Well duh, that's what makes fun! People doing people stuff when no one's looking are the best kind to draw. See?" Turning the sketchbook towards Naya with a grin, Kaz very proudly showed off what he had been working on. It's a semi-realistic sketch of the dancer's face and upper torso, it being almost a perfect recreation of how she had just been sitting.
"'s not done yet, and honestly it wasn't even s'pposed to be you at first. Was just kinda doodling and, I dunno, the way you were sitting looked like it'd be fun to draw, soooo..." Was this creepy? He felt like this was creepy. "Wwwwhhaaaat do you think?"
#kaz internally like 'pls dont make gundham beat me up'#which in reality is smth like 'pls dont let gundham dead arm me again it really hurt :c' or#'dont let him send his hamsters after me they bite hard :c'#gundham wouldnt beat kaz up#but he Will fuck with him in minor ways if he deems it nessecary lmao#oh he creeped out naya? time to be placed into a trash can lmao#albeit Gently and its relatively empty#but its a trashcan none the less lol#theyre children<3#muse: kazuchi soda#dxncingxqueen
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cringe as fucking hell for a piece of media to be anti-vegan in 2024. hannibal is running circles over you. HANNIBAL.
#this is abt dead b/oy detectives. -#which i am overall enjoying thus far but like….really? -#EDWIN P/AYNE (died 1916) CALLED HE WANTS H -#in general the morals of this show are really fucking weird which doesn’t surprise me necessarily as a show heavily concerning the… -#afterlife but like…god why did they have crystal turn those kids into the police for One Fucking Thing…. -#WHY R CRYSTAL AND CHARLES MAKING OUT HE’S BEEN A GHOST FOR 35 YEARS???? LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME WE’RE REALLY SUPPOSED TO… -#INTERNALIZE CHARLES AND EDWIN AS ~~~JUST TEENS LOL~~~ -
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*head in hands* why is it every time i'm randomly like yeah i'll get back into AK it's time for a sad goat time.
#why do bad things keep happening to my goat. haaahhhh....#post: misc#ark1ghts#its good and there are parts i like (whenever executor is onscreen lol) but goddamn does it also not make sense#i dont really get all the internal politics of this country and tbh i just stop reading when they start rambling and throwing around terms#whatever man. there are terrorists. everyone is trying to revive the witch king. government bad. what else is new.#some weirdo is about doing sinister magics. i get it.#ANYWAY! i didn't know executor had an alt... going to be saving for him he's so so cute#Eben is cute as well but he's miserable so i mostly just feel bad whenever i see him#also. this is a me thing. i... don't really get why he's here.#i am a big fan of running away and leaving. stuff sucks? hit the bricks.#why the fuck should you have to face up to the witch kings legacy? who cares. fuck that guy hes dead. leave and never come back#i think Eben just has... stronger moral fibre then i do. i could leave and never think twice about it.#not my responsibility. and even if it is i'll just shirk it who cares. you gotta catch me first suckers#well. i'm only like 4 levels in but i'm tired of reading so i'll get back to it tomorrow *salute*
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It's all in Shoko's hands now , becuase we are cooked
#jjk 253#kusakabe we will remember you babe#Gege doing that to Maki on Yuta's birthday AND international womens day yeah he is SHAMELESS#and that flashback scene with Nanami and gojo and even the narrator saying gojos dead#but yeah imma be delusional#fuck the greg man lol#oh and happy birthday Yuta
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Hey er. Avie Rant time. I. Just . sorry preemptively lol
I am . having a rather hard night. Which I feel isn't even fair to say based on the circumstances but like. Whatever. So, Im chilling right? Chit Catting with people, maybe helping someone way out of my league cum, normal me behavior for the middle of the day. Anyways, my dad comes home. He. Is apparently not in a good mood, which I will discover later. First, he basically bursts into my room and demands I keep the door open bc apparently he dislikes the smell. Also I need to clean right now. Also I need to get out of bed, I don't deserve to lay in bed since I don't really work. I. Haven't put it together yet, but sure I do it whatever - I leave the door open a crack. Whatevs. Then he inquires about the food his girlfriend gave me. Which.. Was half things that I struggle to eat, but besides the point. He presses about "was that dinner?" You know. If you're here you know his obsession with me losing weight. Anyways I tell him "you said she'd bring me a snack at some point, this is what she brought. It was two hours before you allow me to eat dinner, so I assumed it wasn't" or whatever. Good enough answer for him, whatever. Sorry for all the filler, mostly dealing with him is these little things he does to remind you everything ought be how he want it, such as reminding me that I shouldn't expect dinner (although he informed me I could make a chicken patty or smth if I got hungry which, yippeee)
Anyways, a few minutes pass and. He starts his bullshit. He demands I shower now. And I only shower in the morning from now on. See, I shower at night because I like to see myself with hair I don't hate and feel clean as I sleep. However when I told him I prefer night showers, he got pissed. Angry, about why every time he asks something I have to "buck against" him . I, stupidly, ask some shit about why he doesn't let me make decisions to make me happy. He... Goes on a yelling rant about how the way I know to do things is wrong, I don't have a job or classes so I don't deserve to lay down, goes on about how there are 'rules' aka whatever he tells you... And informed me of his unwillingness to pay for college or anything unless I show initiative (fair, although he told me there was money in his mother's account or whatever that can only be used for college) and talked about how he'll kick anyone who breaks his rules out (using his girlfriend as an example)
I... I dunno. Something kinda went fucky wucky in my head and I. Maybe cut for the first time in a few months. I just. Really? All this shit because I asked if I could shower at night instead of the morning? Anyways I. I dunno, I've been . doing less than good pretty much consistently for. A long while, but not enough to really justify complaining to y'all about it . I usually just kinda brush it off but. I dunno. It was bad...der tonight. Best part is that when I get out of the shower, he tells me to come up to the door... And open it. No like, gn or whatever no happy thanksgiving, he just tells me to open the door (because he doesn't like that my room doesn't ventilate much... Despite the open window) and leaves before I can even see his face.
I. Grow weary.
tl;dr - despite no thanksgiving dinner/gathering, my family still fucked me up today lol
#my dad be like “why do you want your door closed? we spend all our time downstairs”#then demands I open my door because he doesnt like it closed#or “nobody will hire you and youll be socially outcast”#even though... i shower before going outside. even just for a stop & shop run#like. its blatantly just he wants to dictate how I am ... but tf can I do about it lmfao#my only previous option (live with my only friends family or smth) is dead. you all probably know why#i literally have nothing but this . and. it is maybe not great for me#i get that he is trying his best and cares for me or whatever but. i increasingly cannot take my own internal shit..#and whatever this temper tantrum type shit is#sigh#shoutout to that person who sent a really cute pickup line to my alt - I was gonna go to sleep and vanish for the night but#that was really sweet. it made me smile lol#something something#tw: self half#AvieRant
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