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#(( I just wanted to do a nice little thing ;u; ))
noobsoconfusing · 3 days
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‘domesticated dawg’.. domestic!hamzah
contains reader insert! and nsfw kinda at the end
- for his whole damn life, everything hamzah wanted was a home
- sure, he had one before, but to be honest, it was just a house. no meaning behind it other than his family living there with him.
- so when he eventually moved out, loneliness began hitting like a truck..
- he found himself alone. constantly trying to fit into everything mandy and martin did, but he understood his friends also wanted privacy
- although hamzah wished he could just live with his friends, everything seemed funner with them. mandy was nice, always sharing martin with him, letting him interrupt their conversations to add comments, making jokes about whatever and they even had a group chat!
- but still, that life was not his, it was martin’s. it was mandy’s. not hamzah’s.
- god, he so craved a relationship as beautiful as his friends. it made him so sad knowing that the only girl he pulled ever was in elementary school :(
- so when you stumbled upon his hectic life, he knew he was NOT letting u go. ever. never ever.
- and mother of god, you were just so so so perfect? how could you? like, for real, he asks himself everyday what the hell did he ever do to deserve such a beautiful human by his side
- as the relationship develops, he finds himself doing stuff he only dreamed about
- he enjoys every single little thing you guys do together, cherishes every moment with you, even when you’re not around he keeps your id picture in his wallet
- makes sure you don’t have to move a finger!!!
- dishes? he does em! the bed? he makes it! clean the cats litterbox? on it!
- sometimes you wake up to the faint smell of something burning, and you’ve gotten used to it by now it’s even comforting .
“sweetheart….” he’d whisper not to disturb your peaceful slumber, however the noisy rattling of the dishes and the blender going off earlier had you already awake.
“hmm?” you murmured slowly opening your eyes, his big eyes stared at you like a squished bug, it made you giggle how eager he was to serve breakfast in bed.
“you are never gonna believe what i just prepared!” he excitedly said.
you smiled, sometimes hamzah was like an excited toddler showing you everything he did or found.
“so like, last night i was on facebook and found this super cool french toast recipe and tried to make it today for you but uh… we didn’t have eggs… or bread.” he paused and you tilted your head. “so i also tried to make pancakes with water and the mix but uh.. you never really showed me how to lower the flame so uh, they’re bricks now…” he nervously scratched his head
he was so cute, or so you thought.
“it’s okay, hamzah, what did you make then?” you asked, invested heavily. he always managed to surprise you somehow.
quickly, he got up the bed where he was straddling you, and ran to the counter where he had left the plate.
“anyway, cereal!” he smiled so big waiting for your reaction of approval.
“wooooow! my favourite!” you smiled too.
“i know right!”
- hamzah tries SO hard to please you :(
- actually tries to spend every single hour of the day with you, due to his job he finds himself being at martin’s often, so he brings you with him each time!
- late night editing with him, where you two are just snuggled together under the covers, hamzah has his blue light glasses on, and you think, man, what a sight to see!
- hamzah actually thinks you guys are married..
- not to be intense or anything, but to him, being with you means for life. you guys are going serious. no escaping from this man now. no backing down now.
- you and the cats are his little family. he has found a home in you and is willing to keep it forever <3
- every moment with you counts to him.
- in the mornings you two brush your teeth together, sometimes he spits toothpaste on your hand to make you mad, which doesn’t really work because you do the same to him and then it all ends in a laughing fit
- HE HAS NO SENSE OF PRIVACY T_T
- you could be taking a shower and he’s right outside of the shower curtain taking a shit and talking about whatever was on his mind
- when you’re using the bathroom he would burst the door open to grab something he left inside, unapologetically look at you and smile innocently
- since your little house –apartment– is rather small, whenever you use the kitchen together he has to constantly guide you around in order to not bump into each other
- grabs your waist to prevent you from slipping if he spills milk or water..
- literally just an excuse to touch you, though.
- sometimes you’re cooking and he just sneaks behind you to give you a back hug. rests his chin on top of your head and stays there for a while
- needs you constantly ngl
- if there’s something wrong with the house, such as a leak or a burnt bulb, he would try his best to fix it himself to prove you he’s capable of everything
- usually ends badly and you have to call someone else to fix it but hey! he tried!
- since you both are not very extroverted, house dates are perfect.
- movie nights under the dim lights of the apartment that lead to make out sessions..
“h-hold…” you tried to say between sloppy kisses being planted on your neck. “hold on!” you laughed out loud when the hickey he was giving you tickled your collarbone.
“mhmm, why?” you could feel his warm breath as he murmured against your skin.
“movie…”
“rather do you, though.” he replied.
- ordering take out that just ends up on hamzah and you racing to see who can eat more
- he loves to see you wearing his clothes <3 like, it actually makes him physically happy and super fucking proud
- loves how his hoodies are undeniably big on you, and how his shirts falls down to your thighs, covering you up so perfectly. knowing you enjoy wearing his clothes just makes him realise how much you both need each other pretty much always
- hamzah has mentioned –to you– before his desire to actually grow your family a bit more, no more cats though, no dogs either. a baby, maybe. or two. three?
- and he was super blunt and serious about it, also. like he was being DEAD SERIOUS. he loves you, dude. this man is a family man.
“we are very serious, right?” he asked you out of the blue.
“yeah, of course.” you replied looking at his direction. the bed sheets covered his body so you could only see his face peeking out. it was funny.
“no but like, im super serious about you, about us… i love you a lot and i feel so deeply about you, is that alright? do you not feel weird about me? like, do you actually like me or…?” he rambled, and you knew how self conscious he could get sometimes ;(
“hamzah, i am so very serious about us too, i love being with you, why would you doubt that?” it made you sad, but you had to constantly reassure him.
he leaned in to kiss you, so soft and desperate at the same time, like he was trying not to break down.
“serious, right?” he asked again as he broke the kiss
“yeah, very serious, hamzah.”
a moment of silence. he played with your hair, then subtly touched your face in the dark, tracing your features.
“okay but speaking super fucking seriously, i wanna impregnate you and i wanna raise our children and live until we’re super fucking old, that alright?”
he deadpanned. and you never felt so loved, even if his ways were… odd. you knew he cared, and you did too!
“yeah. that alright.”
- morning sex hits hard w hamzah btw. so when you’re still tired and wanna be together you opt for this one as an excuse to get up until the evening
- this man needs you so much that he actually for real wants to merge your souls together
- but as he cannot do that yet, he settles for your bodies..
- sometimes when he’s working he just :( needs you and your warmth and your embrace and your presence and you you you you
- he’s obsessed with you to say the least
- yeah so cockwarming.. where he just begs for it, and you cant say no to that wet dog face :c though you know he wont even last a minute without moving cuz he’s needy like that.
- his hands are grasping at your waist for mercy, keeping you down and linked to his own body. he tries his best to keep still, though you wouldn’t mind if he actually started thrusting
- loves how warm you’re always :c it’s almost embarrassing how pathetic this man is for you
“mmm, im… oh, god! f-fuck, im sorry, can i…?” he whimpers, his eyes shut and his work long forgotten on the desk
and god, yeah. you need it too. he’s been inside for what felt like fucking hours. you were just as needy and desperate but didn’t wanna say anything :(
“yeah j-just…yeah..” you managed to say, your face buried in his neck, inhaling his cologne.
it was so damn intoxicating, you felt so drunk on him.
- big on aftercare. he wants to make you comfortable and loved, which yeah you feel like that around him. tho he also needs aftercare from you sometimes..
- hamzah thinks, you found him to save him. save him from his loneliness, his misfortune, everything. he is so glad that you exist and decide to share your existence with him.
- hamzah now doesn’t have to look for a home in other places. he doesn’t have to look out for love, for company somewhere else. he has you, you’re his home now. now and forever
- you’re a home that’s not taken. a home that’s not temporary. a home that waits for him everyday. a home that provides love and care. a home that he doesn’t feel he’s intruding..
- a home he doesn’t wanna run away from. not ever
>_<
down bad for this kinda hamzah bruv anyway hope some1 likes dis
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judesmoonbeauty · 24 hours
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SurpriseBag2024: A Happy Switch-Up Between The Cunning Mobster & The Happiness-Obsessed Oddball
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This is a repost. Due to the original being deleted by Tumblr, my tags list will not be included nor will CGs be uploaded per my previous announcement. This is a fan translation only, so please expect grammatical errors and lack of nuance. While I appreciate your support and welcome re-blogs, please do not repost my translations elsewhere. Thank you for you support! ☾.
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I got involved in Roger's egoistical cursed research.
Ellis: Huh? Why is Jude me?
Jude: That's my line. Why’re ya me?
I was asked to watch over Jude and Ellis, who had switched places.
(As a fairytale keeper, I wanted to watch over them until the end.)
(......But I want to watch over them anymore.)
Jude: ………
(Jude in the form of Ellis is in an even worse mood than usual!)
Child Passing By: Mum, there’s a demon.
Mother Passing By: Hey. It’s dangerous so don’t go near him……
(Ellis' face is so handsome, but when he’s irritated, it's very powerful.)
(Ugh, I miss the usual gentle Ellis.)
Kate: Kate, this gelato I just bought is delicious.
Kate: Ah, yes. It has a rich flavor, yet it's not too sweet.
Jude: Lickin’ ’n lickin’ while workin’. Are ya dogs.
Ellis: Dogs don't eat gelato, right?
Jude: So, ya eat sweets in another’s body.
Jude takes a cigarette out of his pocket and puts it in his mouth with a natural gesture.
Kate: Oh, Jude, you can't smoke. That’s Ellis' body!
Kate: Besides, if you smoke it, you'll end up choking again.
Jude: ….Tch.
The reason we’re on the platform at Paddington Station, is because we’re on an important mission for Crown.
Actually, the two of them were planning to work at Jude's company as usual.
[Screen shows a pic of Jude in Ellis’ body.]
Jude: Yer in breach of the contract ya piece of shit…….I’ll show ya hell.
[Show a pic of in Ellis’ body.]
Ellis: Are you okay? Shall I make you happy?
(They stopped so that the people at the company who knew the two well wouldn't get confused.)
The two are now on Crown duty, while Victor and Harrison are at Jude's company posing as friends.
(I have to keep an eye on the two of them and keep up with my assignment!)
Kate: …..Still, the target doesn’t seem to have shown up.
Today's target is the capture and decimation of members of a corrupt business association who are committing theft in the country.
A man believed to be the main suspect was recently arrested by police but escaped from jail.
The Crown received word that he was planning to flee the country.
(The main culprit has a bad leg and limps. I have to make sure I don't miss him.)
Ellis: Kate, I'll give you my berry flavor, too. Okay, ahhh.
Kate: Ahhh.
Kate: Mmm….it’s delicious.
Ellis: Right? We don't know when the target will appear, so let’s just take it easy.
Kate: ……Thank you.
(…….When Jude treats me kindly, the gap is shocking.)
Jude: Oi, Ellis. Don’t do gross things with other people’s faces.
Jude: What’re ya up to?
Kate: I’m not up to anything.
Kate: It's just... it's refreshing and nice to be treated kindly……by you Jude.
Jude: Ha, don’t lie.
Jude’ lips in Ellis’ form twisted cruelly as I was grabbed by my chin.
Jude: Yer a masochistic pervert who needs to be tormented to get excited.
Kate: That, that’s not true……Please don’t treat me like a pervert!
Jude: Doubt that.
(I can never say I’m excited.)
While I was secretly excited, Ellis lifted himself off the bench.
Kate: Are you going somewhere, Ellis?
Ellis: I thought I'd get you something warm to drink.
Ellis: You must have gotten cold from eating gelato, Kate.
Ellis: Ah.
Jude: ……Didja see the target?
Ellis: No. When I stood up, I was just a little surprised that my gaze was lower than usual.
Ellis: Jude, you’re so short.
Jude: ….Ha?
Kate: ….He-hehee.
Jude: It's not that I'm short, it's just that yer a big guy.
Jude: Why’re ya laughin’, too? I'll knock yer head ‘round ‘n make ya shorter!
Kate: I’m sorry. It’s just sometimes you can learn something new when you change things up.
Jude: That’s damned useless information.
Ellis: I'm enjoying being Jude, though.
Jude: Shuddup.
Jude: Yer fluffy conversations are drivin’ me crazy.
At that moment, Jude’s gaze, which was clad in Ellis’ twilight color, were filled with sharpness.
Jude: ……..
Kate: Jude? No way….
Jude: There he is, that guy with the limp.
Jude: It'll be troublesome if he leaves the country. Follow him.
Kate: Ha, …..on it!
We board the train and pursue our target, weaving through the passengers.
Just as I stepped into the last row of the empty cargo area.
Main Culprit: Thanks for following along.........You guys, surround them.
As if on cue, several men jump out from the shadows of the seats and surround us.
(…….we’re surrounded.)
(I had no idea his friends were on board too.)
Jude: Yer very gracious to welcome us. Thanks.
Main Culprit: I knew the coppers were after us. I let you come, so I could get revenge.
(They think we’re the police.)
(Whatever it is, it means they were reading our moves.)
As we stare at each other, our feet shake and the train begins to move.
Main Culprit: We can throw your bodies out of the train and into the river, and there won't be a single piece of evidence left behind.
Main Culprit: It would be the perfect place to die. Go ahead, kill them.
Ellis: …..Kate, stay here so you don’t get hurt.
Kate: Yes….
Ellis tried to jump up as easily as usual, but wasn’t able to do so.
Ellis: Oh, whoa.
Ellis, who’s still in Jude’s form, lost his balance and fell on the spot.
Isla: Huh, Ellis….?
Ellis: Surprising. That’s right, I’m Jude.
(Oh, because his body is different than usual!)
Jude: What’re ya waitin’ for?
Jude:….Damn, what’re these uselessly long legs. They’re difficult......
Main Culprit: I thought you were an elite group, but you’re just a bunch of small fry.
Main Culprit: Take care of them kindly in “moderation”.
Ellis: ....... Hmmm, Jude has strong legs.
Ellis: I'm starting to get the hang of it.
Ellis: ……..Like this.
Ellis’ raised leg strikes into the jaw of the main culprit’s subordinates.
Subordinate: Gah……
(Wow, that's amazing...)
Kate: Oh, Jude, behind you!
Jude: I can see ‘em without ya tellin’ me.
Jude, using Ellis’ body, flew through the air and touched their heads one after another.
Subordinate: Whoa our hands are stuck together! They won’t separate. What is this……
All the men knelt on the spot in a prayer pose..
Jude: I can barely breathe in this body….I hate it.
Ellis: I wanted to use Jude's ability to put them to sleep.
Jude: Ya can't torture ‘em if they’re asleep.
Main Culprit: Hic…..
Jude: …..Let’s make a deal.
Jude: Right to left, James Spencer, Simon Harris, Oscar Perry.
Main Culprit: ……How did you know our names?
Ellis: The names of business partners, family members….he says it's basic to know everything.
Jude: Didntcha guys anonymously transfer the money ya stole to orphanages all over the UK?
(What…..?)
Jude: I did some research ‘n found out that ya ‘n all the other members of the vice society came from the same orphanage.
Jude: Yer all in on it, stealing money from the crooks ‘n usin’ it to give to poor children.
Main Culprit: ……yes.
(You mean he was committing evil and helping people?)
Jude: How admirable, tear jerkin’, think I’d overlook it.
Jude: —What can I say idiot. Yer tears ain’t an excuse.
Whatever the motive, evil is evil.
The fact that once you have been involved in evil, it will never go away.
Jude: I'll letcha choose. Either you’ll be sold abroad, or you’ll be forced to work in a coal mine until your last breath?
Jude: Do you wanna stay alive, be my slave ‘n work for the rest of yerr life?……..Whaddya choose?
Main Culprit: I thought you guys were the coppers……
Ellis: Is that relevant now? He’s asking if you want to die or live.
Main Culprit: ……
Main Culprit: Please just save my life. Please......!
Jude: The slave contract is complete. Congratulations on yer lifetime employment.
Jude: Remember, a promise is a promise…..If ya break it, I'll give ya hell, so much so, that you’d wish ya were dead.
We boarded the turnaround and made it back to Paddington Station without incident.
Kate: ……that was still surprising.
Kate: Jude you wanted them as part of your company's workforce from the start, and Ellis understood that.
Jude: What’s with those eyes? Ya act like I helped somebody.
Jude: I was forced to do a mission that wasn't planned, ‘n I got something out of it.
Ellis: I think it's okay as long as Jude and Kate are happy.
Kate: I….will work even harder as a fairytale keeper!
Jude: Fuwaha, that useless guts argument. That's all ya do.
Ellis: You’re a hard worker Kate, I like that.
(Oh, that’s.......?)
Ellis: What's wrong, Kate?
Kate: Um...even though you look different, for a moment both looked like you usually do.
Jude & Ellis: ……….
Kate: Jude is still Jude and Ellis is still Ellis, no matter what you both look like.
Kate: But ...…..I kind of want to see the two of you as usual.
Jude: I knew ya were a pervert who wanted to be tortured.
Kate: What, that’s not true!
Ellis: Shall I tease you? I've never done it before, but maybe I can?
Kate: ……Please stop teasing me Ellis.
Ellis: Hehe, sorry.
Jude: Let’s switch back quickly. It's about time that quack finished the medicine.
When we returned to the castle, Roger had successfully completed the antidote.
After drinking it, Jude and Ellis safely return to their normal forms and the matter settled.
Or, it should’ve been -
Kate: I am so glad you’re back to being whole!
Kate: Hey, Ellis. What's with the wine and book in your hand?
Ellis: Victor and Harry went to work for us. Thanks for that.
Ellis: So, I picked the wine, and Jude picked the book.
Jude: It’s just a matter of amassin’ debt.
Kate: Hehe, that's right. Because “nothing is more expensive than free”.
Jude: What's with that grin on your face? It’s stupid.
Ellis: Should l I call Victor and Harry?
Victor: That’s not necessary, for Victor has come even before he was called!
Kate: Harrison……?
Kate:  .......What's going on? You sound like Victor.
Jude: Have ya finally gone nuts after bein’ smeared in all those filthy lies.
Ellis: Harry is kind, so I wonder if he forced himself...
Victor: ?? What are you talking about?
Victor: No matter how you look at it, it's your dearly loved Queen's aide Victor, isn't it?
Ellis: …….Harry.
Jude: Imitatin’ someone you hate is unpleasant, condolences.
Kate: Very......, -you need to get yourself to the hospital as soon as possible!
Harrison: ……I finally found you.
Kate: …..Victor?
Victor grabbed Harrison's chest with a look of anger on his face that he had never seen before.
Kate & Ellis: !
Victor: Oh.….I'm right in front of me. Why?
Harrison: ……Haven’t you noticed? Look at your reflection in the window.
Victor: Wow, I became you Harrison?
Victor: C-CUUUTE~~! Your hair is so smooth! And the tear mole is cute! 😭 LMFAO
Harrison: Don't touch my body!
Kate: Um, wait a minute.
(Harrison is Victor and Victor is Harrison.)
Kate: Does that mean ...…..the two of you swapped places!
Harrison: Aaah.
Harrison: Victor .……You're the one who got us into this mess, aren't you?
Victor: It wasn’t me! If I were the culprit, I'd probably notice the switch right away, right?
Harrison: …..That’s right.
Ellis: Oh.…on there’s needle marks on Victor’s and Harry’s arms.
Harrison: Someone drugged us with a syringe while we slept.
Victor: Judging from the brilliant puncture work, I'd say there's only one suspect.
Harrison: Roger! That egoistical bastard.….He used us as test subjects for an experiment, didn’t he?
Victor: Wow, Roger’s so passionate about research.
Victor: Ah, Kate. Would you mind telling me a little lie?
Kate: What? Well, I hate you Victor.
Victor: Yes, it's a lie! Wow, I can see them like this, that's amazing.
Harrison: Don't get excited, old man!
Ellis: ...Hehe, it looks like fun.
Ellis: Hey, Jude. Shall we switch places again?
Jude: Ain’t happenin’, I’ll never do that again.
…..To be continued?
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[Master List]
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bilbao-song · 24 hours
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okay at long last (i wanted to do this at least a little sooner but by the end of last night i was so sleep deprived my brain was not functional): jeffrey in boston on the 23rd!!! (really in-depth PARAGRAPHS of rambling below the cut so you only have to look at it if u want to, otherwise just enjoy the photos lmao)
so. hmmmm what to say about this lmao (the first two paragraphs are probably least important here if u don't want to read All Of That)
all of this was like.....................a dream. like i know talking about this makes me sound like Insane Person Whose Life Revolves Around Concertgoing (although that's kind of just the truth tbh) but being THIS close was like...THE dream to me. or at least the most realistically attainable dream we got there a liiiittle after the opening band had started (they are pretty great btw? i approve. like i'm genuinely excited to see them lol) and i'm not sure what the problem was tbh!! we arrived at a perfectly reasonable time but then everyone got corralled into a giant line that like, looped around itself and wrapped around the block. so that took like ~25 minutes to get through. anywayyy i got one of the ???people who work there (there's a word for this that is escaping me atm) to help me find my seat bc things were of course a bit chaotic by that point and well...........that was a positively magical little jaunt as we got closer and closer and i just kind of lost my mind. my seat was in the third row riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight in the middle. like, perfectly in the middle. it could hardly have been any better :'))))
so! i sat there by myself which felt a little strange bc although i do like doing things on my own i have just never done this before. the only other concert i have been to where i sat basically by myself was like, a thing i got to go to bc someone gave me their extra ticket (air supply! which was fun but like, i only went bc it just came up. no disrespect to air supply lmao) and even then the person next to me was like, super nice and also clearly entertained by my dedication to older music (always exquisite to encounter someone who genuinely wants to hear about ur interests. like once you manage to convince me you're asking out of genuine interest the floodgates are OPEN) but anyway!!! the strangers in the elo mosh pit did not talk to me. this was fine but i was a tiny bit surprised bc everyone has been pretty chatty at the other ones i have been to...as an aside i was repeatedly given the impression that the people directly behind me were kind of mean (consistently not shutting up during the opening act, loudly making rude comments about them, just kind......whining a lot lmao) so i'm 100000% good with not talking to them lol
ANYWAY...onto the important part. sitting through the little intermission was excruciating and kind of went by too quickly bc i kind of did not want the concert to start bc the sooner it started the sooner it was over </3 but it was fun to be sooo close bc i enjoyed watching the crew set everything up and adjusting things and putting jeffrey's little table directly in front of me and whatnot 🥺 but then it started and it was like..............surreal. it quickly became clear that i really had chosen like the absolute perfect seat bc a) the two people in front of me were really short. thank god (the jackasses behind me were also at least a little taller than me so i'm happy for them and was not sorry for standing in front of them in my huge shoes) b) jeffrey directly in front of me. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) again this was like. SURREAL to me in a way bc it's just!!! the best yet and also 💕🥹💕🥹💕🥹 of course. i have been at least slightly pleasantly surprised by my seats at each one i've been to on this tour but even here i experienced that bc i did think i would be off to the side at least a tiiiiny bit...but no it was actually perfect. exquisite. like, i'm really truly not one of those overly-idolizing/Lose Your Mind Over Proximity To Famous Person types but well. i mean if you have read this far i'm sure you are already well aware of how i feel about him lmao
moving forward......bringing this up makes me feel weird bc it sounds so......well. you know. but ummmmm eye contact was definitely established repeatedly 🥺👉👈 looking at me and smiling adorably...........like, this is no exceptional credit to me or anything bc like...what else is he supposed to look at. i was very directly in his field of vision and significantly taller than the two people in front of me lol so he would have had to go to great lengths not to look at me at all. but ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god???????? it was also kind of hilarious bc it did very muchly keep triggering my insane reflex to look AWAY from people when they make eye contact with me so i had to keep consciously correcting that bc like ????? HELLO lmao. but it was just!!!!!!!! very sweet!!!!!!!!! he was very smiley and adorable. typical...........i could opine on this further but i shan't at the risk of sounding insane. but like this alone was worth it to me sdjkhsjkhsd. felt Nice!!!!!!!!
anyway hmmm what else. well it was just spectacular but u already knew that. his voice has sounded remarkably perfect at each of these shows and that really stands out to me bc i just love that :') i also just love that he's repeatedly absolutely killing it, most importantly just because like, of course!! yay!! but also bc for awhile there was like, a cluster of very weird naysayers within the general community (which involved some kind of disgusting behavior imo but i won't go into detail about that bc like, why rehash it when it's both negative and profoundly ridiculous) and every single concert is just a really beautiful little I Told You So to those people which is SO satisfying to me bc i love to see that sort of thing getting thoroughly shut down and also slightly in part bc i love when i'm right and rude people who i don't like are wrong but that's as snarky as i will allow myself to be in an otherwise very happy post. <3 but i like. idk i just knew. and everyone else who isnt absolutely bonkers did too but well. etc etc etc
as a final note!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! idk i loved it. and i'm so glad that i get to go to the phoenix one as well bc although i'm already getting a little emo about this (........i was already a slight mess after the one in indianapolis tbh) i do think that's like, the only thing that's keeping me from losing it entirely lmao. i feel super lucky to have done all of this and i am having a very very very very very good time
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amascomet · 3 days
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hi! I just wanted to say that I REALLY love your Tmnt gene sliced AU! It’s so sick n the characters are so cool looking ^_^!!!!! Raph’s my favorite >_<! Just wanted to ask, do u have any silly fun facts about Raph or the turtles? I would love to look into Raph’s personality later on! He’s so awesome ^v^!
Glad you like Raph! I’ve given him a lot of my quirks. (I’ve given all of them a lot of my quirks but he’s got some of my favorites I guess lol) Here’s some fun facts!
- He’s got a favorite brother and it’s Mikey. He might not show it in a conventional way but Mikey is definitely his favorite.
- When it comes to group game activities Raph is more of a spectator. He gets easily frustrated so it’s more enjoyable for everyone involved when he’s got the job of keeping scores or being the Monopoly bank teller.
- Baby raph was a biter and liked to stay tucked in his shell.
- Raph requires constant stimulation. He’s incredibly destructive otherwise. He’s got a lot of energy and emotion and most of the time has no place to put it. Even when he’s relaxed he’s got a habit of absentmindedly picking away at stuff.
Warning, this next bit is a little heavier but it’s an elaboration on Raph’s arc and what inspires it. ❤️🐢
To put it bluntly, Raph is afraid of change. He’s not too sure about the future or who he is. He hates to think about it. April’s arrival disrupts the “peace” that he’s been living in. Now everyone around him is changing. He wants to change as well but just…can’t. He takes little steps here and there but bettering himself overall is just a struggle.
I’ve been committed a few times and every now and then I just wish I were permanently in that environment. I enjoyed just being able to exist in a space where everything felt stagnant and I didn’t have to care about anything. There was just 1 facility I went to that was actually nice vs the others that actually felt like prisons. As nice as it was, it’s still not really a place you want to be if you don’t have to. When things are simple it’s just really nice. That’s what Raph is existing in. Something about living on autopilot can be comforting but in a place like that there’s longing for more. I think it’s because you’re giving up a lot of freedoms in exchange for whatever this weird sense of peace is. Raph is confused and unsure about what he wants. Things are moving too fast. His emotions keep getting bigger and he doesn’t know what to do.
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hinamie · 26 days
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congrats on your recovery n all yuuji but unfortunately for you I thought the scars were cool >:/
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#these took so long i kept getting distracted cries#but they r done and this is yuuji's post canon scar map to me. argue with a wall we should have had this#looks at canon this sign won't stop me bc i cant read >:(#smh robbed!!!!!! the potential!!!!! the aesthetic!!!!! th angst the symbolism!!!!!!#gege i respect u i do not want beef after u let my boys live#but u rly couldnt have scuffed him up a LITTLE more.....there were so many to choose from didnt u have a favourite.....#all he has to show fr all that r two little scratches. rly.#((not counting the ear n fingers thank god i get That much))#anyway i made a whole post abt why i think yuuji should have kept the scars n what it would have stood for symbolically#its along th same lines as the yuuji Big Face Scar agenda hh i just care a lot abt character design n visual storytelling ok#anyway fine he can keep the eye but in this house it grew back wrong it's lighter and foggy and now his prescription is stronger#as fr the rest#megumi has dibs on the upper right eye apparently so yuuji can have the bottom half#i would have doubled down on the scars on his left but a. the right side is the symbolic one#b. he healed an entire eye so it makes sense tht he'd heal other more minor injuries as well#c. tbh it's mostly based on what looked good i think this arrangement guides the eye across his face nicely#gave him a lil nose nick bc smth smth sukuna idk it's just there to balance things out#also as i said. the jaw and neck scar are there for kissing purposes i make the rules im salty and i do what i want smile#in other news thank u past hina fr doing those hair render studies im very happy with my yuuji hair as of late
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cerealmonster15 · 3 months
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i want jamiazu + idikei to go on a double date so badly i think the vibes would be So Very Turbulent
#twisted wonderland#twst#jamiazu#idikei#idicay#cereal tries to draw#i love any fanart of board game club and their bitch ass crushes jdslhffkjg teeheehee#cater and jamil can get along fine but board game club is incapable of behaving#they have to drop everything to bully the shit out of each other given the chance!!!#jamil does this with azul also. tbh i think it would be a war immediately and caters like HaHa Oh My GOd. ??!!?#cater actually it's hard to say bc sometimes hes like HUH!!!! CHILL OUT!! but other times hes a shady little freak of a guy and enables#things so like whose to say. maybe if hes in a silly mood he would join idia and jamil and it would be 3v1 rip azul it was nice knowing u#the rng of if they get peacekeeping caycay or mischievous caycay#it feels like it has been a While since ive really sat and drawn them...#i have had a lot going on <///3 and then all draw time is spent on art fight rn but. small break For Them#do u even understand me. do u see my vision. i want to put all four of them in an escape room#bundle them together and observe them under a microscope#god i just LOVE how any time someone in twst talks about another character it's always either like#yes this is a good respectable classmate of mine who i admire. or I HATE THAT BITCH HE FUCKING SUCKS ASS ACTUALLY!!!!#and then the haters are like best friends who hang out always jfdksljflkshg#but theyd rather DIE than ADMIT IT!!!#bitch boys who only respect each other when they dont know each other too well ig fjldksfh#board game club being god tier haters nonstop of each other is so fucking funny im literally obsessed with whatever they have going on#anyway!!! I WANT THEM TO HANG OUT MORE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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politemagic · 7 months
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everyone say congratulations to the first time homeowners!
edit: i may or may not have been inspired to write some headcanons based on this, if you're interested
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toxintouch · 2 months
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how do you think the lis would respond if mc sheepishly asked if they could fondle their tiddies? (even mhin, even though i KNOW they'd shank a bitch.)
Here ya go, Anon!! :3 They pronouns & non-specific language/MC used. Suggestive, but no other warnings.
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AIS:
Pretends he doesn’t hear them.
“Hmm?”  He holds a hand to his ear, a toothy little smirk on his face, his scarred eyebrow raised.  The way he’s making direct eye contact is an unmistakable challenge.
“You wanna what now, Sparrow?” 
He knows exactly what MC said and they can tell.  He just wants to see if they'll say it again.  They didn’t sound so sure about whatever that request was just now…
His smirk grows when– (if?? But c’mon he’s so clearly saying yes, please) –
His smirk grows when they don’t back down.  He spreads his arms out in invitation, haori splaying open.
He’s patient for as long as he can stand once they get their hands on him but it isn’t long before he finds himself grabbing them by the wrists, pulling them closer.  Pressing his palms against the back of their hands to encourage them to make full, firm contact.  Haven’t they been warned?  He’s awfully greedy.
(And: if he purposely presses their touch against his heart for a moment, no one needs to know but him.)
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VERE:
He gives them a blank look– a look unsettlingly similar to his hungry, flat eyed stare.  Though, it’s gone in an instant–so quick they might even be able to convince themself that they imagined it.  One blink and his entire expression is different, his tail swishing elegantly and with a flourish that can only be described as pleased.
“Well,” he purrs, “aren’t you just adorable?  I did tell you to ask next time you wanted to touch…  Very well then.  I’ll reward your ability to follow simple instructions.”  He relaxes luxuriously into the cushions of the divan that he’s resting on.  “Come along, then.  Fondle to your heart's content.  Don’t leave me waiting.”  He beckons to them with a crooked finger, tempting them closer, a haunting echo of their first meeting. 
Survival instincts be damned…he did give them permission…
He breathes a chuckle out as they touch him, his mouth hot against their ear as he buries a grin into their neck.
In the space of another breath, he’s flipped the two of them, leaving them pinned against the divan.
“You didn't think you were getting a single thing for free from me anymore, did you?  Tut tut.  After you treated my generosity so callously before?  From now on, I’ll be expecting payment in kind.  Quid pro quo, darling.”
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KURAS:
He looks at them, eyes crinkled with amusement.  “Am I to take it that your interest is academic?  Studying anatomy, perhaps?  I do have a few select texts I could offer you which you might find quite beneficial.”
The embarrassed look on their face seems to amuse him further, the corners of his lips tugging up as he takes in their expression.
“Of course, the benefits of a more hands-on method of scholarship should not be overlooked.”  He takes pity on them, beckoning them over as he takes a seat on the doctor’s stool, right next to the cot where they first met him.  He neatly removes his coat, folding it and laying it to rest beside him.  Despite their fears, he doesn’t start listing out the anatomical names for things as they lay their hands on him.  His eyes slip shut as they rest their hands on his  shoulders–he’s still so tall, even sitting on the low stool–sliding their hands down, admiring the sturdy form and shape of him.
His own hands come up, clutching around their waist with surprising strength.  His eyes are bright and intense as he looks up at them.  They expect him to say something but he merely squeezes them–Possessively?–
Like he might be able to trap them in this moment with him forever, through will alone.
He closes his eyes again; his grip loosens. His self-control back is back in its necessary place, and he finds himself repentant.
“Forgive me.  You are quite endearing.  I simply find you…difficult to resist.”  He admits.
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MHIN:
You are so correct anon.  Shanked immediately.  But MC bonks their head into Mhin’s chest on their way to the ground, so…  Achievement Unlocked? Or, for MC’s sake, I’ll assume that they have earned a level of trust/intimacy with Mhin that makes Mhin a lil' less likely to get stabby.
Mhin’s eyebrows furrow as Mhin crosses their arms, physically creating distance between MC and their…
Mhin’s cheeks go a little red as they realize how obvious their body language is, their pale eyes darting to the side as they worry about what other things they’ve accidentally telegraphed to MC. How many of Mhin's true thoughts and feelings are they privy to...?  Shaking themself mentally, they quickly snap out of it, pinning MC with a pointed glare.
“If you value your life at all, you’ll never ask me that again.”  Mhin marches away.  “Staying at the Wet Wick–around Leander–has ruined your brain.  You need to get out of that place while you still have some grey matter left.”
. . .
Later, escorting MC back to said Wet Wick, ducking through the lesser known and narrower streets after a long day of following dead ends together, Mhin finds the thought ruining their own brain.  It must be the heat of MC pressed against them in the alleyway, the comforting, all-consuming scent of them, the memory of MC’s flushed face while they were asking Mhin’s permission...  MC’s much braver than them, Mhin thinks bitterly, so much more willing to let themself have what they want, despite their cursed hands.  Mhin sighs, stopping abruptly.  Turning.  Pinching the bridge of their nose.
“Look–you can–”
Mhin feels themself blushing all the way down to their chest.  They open their mouth and close it a couple of times, attempting to articulate what they want.  They make a noise of aggravated frustration.  Carefully–very carefully, and very slowly, so that MC knows exactly what they are doing, they reach for the bandaged hands at MC’s side.  They rest MC’s hands lightly on their chest, shivering as they feel the brush of fingers against their clothed ribs, thumbs pressing into their sternum.  They bite down a noise that would surely make them perish where they stand.  Stars above, how long since–
“...Does your heart always beat this fast, Mhin?”
“Quiet.”  They snap.
Wow Mhin.  Right there in the alleyway huh?  Well ok then. I see what ur about.
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LEANDER:
The two of them are alone in the room at the Wet Wick, just sitting together innocently on the bed when MC asks.
Well–they try to ask.
He hears them start the question and his coat and shirt (and tiddie belt) are coming off before they can even finish.  He gives them a quiet chuckle, blushing as his shirt(s) get caught at his shoulders. 
Though the perfect way it frames his boobs might convince them he did it on purpose…
“You meant skin to skin, right?”  He laughs again, leaning back on his hands and looking entirely too appetizing–is he arching his back a little more than necessary? 
“I don’t mind at all! Though, if you could help me with…”  His eyes crinkle as he smiles at them, head tilted like a puppy, waiting expectantly.
They get up from the bed to help him discard his remaining topmost layers of clothing, standing above him in order to better assist.  His eyes are pinned to theirs the moment the fabric barrier is fully cast aside.  “I…can’t say this is a bad view,” he admits, eyes roving along their form, tongue darting out to wet his lips.  Then, more sincerely: “I’m glad that you asked me for this.  Don’t be afraid to touch, all right?  Nothing bad will happen to me, promise. Remember: whatever you want.”
They find themself feeling along the edges of his scar, tracing the line of it across his pectoral…  His breath catching when they accidentally scratch him a little with their nails (MC is just a little clumsy–that was completely unintentionally, really) is dangerously addictive.
“Ah... Anywhere else you’d like to touch?  It would be a shame to waste this opportunity…”
If they're feeling shy, he could offer a few suggestions.  He really, really wants to help in any way he can. :)
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BONUS!ELYON:   “You can, but I will have to charge.”
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swordmaid · 4 months
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i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping …!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrot…
#the whole setting is jb hanging out in the rock post war#and tyrion became lord of the westerlands / the rock is his but he’s off doing stuff in kingslanding and jaime is just filling in for him#atm . but after tyrion comes back his original plan WAS he’ll get married to brienne right away and they can move back to tarth or be#travelling hedge knights together or whatever brienne wants to do he’s down for it. but the important thing is that he wants to stay with#her .. so he’s using the time they have together currently to court her bc she deserves that at least !!#so jaime goes off trying to court and woo brienne but she just thinks they’re hanging out bc they got relatively close in the war#so jaime being touchy feely isn’t anything new. jaime making innuendos and being kinda flirty isn’t anything new either#but this time he means it LOL he’s like I want to kiss you SO badly and brienne will be like lol silly jaime (:#I was also thinking they’d help rebuild lannisport just bc it’s a time for healing now and it would be good for the people to get to know#jaime and the lannisters in general bc of how they would just used to sit high above the rock looking down on everyone#but now jaime is like. actively helping and being known and being with the people rather than just being that absent distant lord#also he’s thinking he might as well try and foster some relationship with the commoners to his house bc it’s for tyrion anyway#so he’s off doing that and brienne is tagging along bc she does not want to go home yet#she wants to stay with him and she’s helping out as an excuse to stay a little longer but she doesn’t exactly want to leave him#but how do you tell someone that and ignore the big glaring part that she’s actually in love with him and the fact that they both survived#the war is getting her hopeful???? u want her to admit that?? like a normal person??? no..!!#so she’s just staying and helping out bc a) it’s the sensible thing to do b) so she can bask on the sun that is Jaime Lannister#for like a few more days. weeks. maybe a month bc the weather is soooo bad in the stormlands rn 🙄😳#anyway jb hanging out! and everything is going well and good but jaime is now getting popular w the people and he’s also looking quite#rugged and handsome post war now that he’s thirty flirty and thriving and he also has a new scar across his lip that makes his#smirks even more ! rogueish … ! and he looks quite nice with the greying hair 👀 so now there’s gossips around him#not to mention he’s single too and I think if you were one of the heroes who helped win the war they’ll forget the kingslaying#man with no honor business so lo and behold brienne eavesdrops a group of ladies bc she’s a chismosa at heart and they’re talking about a#potential marriage for a lord lannister (!!!) and there’s going to be a big tourney held in Kingslanding for it (!!!)#and brienne remembers jaime mentioning the ought to go to Kingslanding in the next few weeks (!!!) and now she’s remembering jaime IS a#lord though not theee lord of the westerlands STILL a lord from one of the seven houses and he’s single and very eligible for marriage rn#and now she’s realising everything is returning back the way it was before the war where society rules matters and she has her own role as#now the evenstar bc rip selwyn and jaime has his own role too and the court is a whole different battlefield#one that she isn’t equipped in and even though she had found some new confidence in herself bc killing a bunch of ice invisible zombies#with your own magic sword will do that for you she doesn’t think (and she’s being objective not negative) she stands a chance in THAT
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codacheetah · 2 months
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It's deeply important to me that Loop kind of sucks
#they are literally awesome but they do kinda suck. just a tad#mostly as in i keep thinking about lucabyte's comics. they are critical to me#i love isat's postcanon as a space to explore recovery and communication#but sometimes you kind of have to drag urself through glass to get there. sometimes the glass sticks in ur skin and makes u prickly#i think constantly about like. loop being surprised by siffrin's kindness if u choose to be nice to them in certain dialogue options.#remarking about how time has made them jaded more than he is#loop is fundamentally kind. but they are scantly ever 'nice'#i think if loop joins the party it's inevitable that they are going to make each other bristle up#loop has a difficult time with all of the party members. between the guilt and the loss and them just not being capital s Siffrin#and to the party who only knows loop from one interaction and siffrin's apparent care for them i think loop would come off. abrasive at bes#like. like i dont think loop would act the same with the party that they do siffrin. their mask is very Piss Siffrin Off specialized#but how much of ur persona is an act and how much of it is yourself. or whatever. loop wouldn't want to be mean to their friends sure#but it's much easier not to hurt if you wedge some distance. no better way to get that distance by being offputting. i think isabeau esp#would get the brunt of this. poor man#plus there's just hte general fact that like. nobody likes the feeling of talking to somebody who clearly knows too much about them. who#will never show their own cards. added with the fact that there's just an inherent strangeness w loop. where they have a relationship to#siffrin thru the loops that none of the party members will ever grasp (and in a way they cant even guess frankly!)#i just have a hard time seeing loop's assimilation into the party as going smooth and nice. you know. i think the party members would think#that loop kinda sucks a little. i think loop would let them think this. all of this being said this is not irreconcilable or permanent#but i like there to be growing pains for the party's expansion. i won't even get into nille bc this aint abt her but yah#the lucky thing loop is you made friends with a lot of really nice people who would being willing to get to know you again.#isat spoilers
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puppyeared · 6 months
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Ouhhhh friendship I love friendship……..
#I’m reading volumes 14-16 of the ouran manga OOUGHHH MY HEART#I love this weird little friend group so much its unreal#like u have this charming sweeps you off your feet prince but he’s actually a huge lovable idiot with a kind heart and his friends#who are all misfits that he reached out to and drew in because of his kindness and own weirdness like that shits TIGHT BRO#and the trauma part where he has some deep seated issues with love bc he thinks that itll break a family apart like with his mom#how his family isnt allowed to be together because his mom and dad fell in love and how he says he wants to build a big house#so that way one day everyone will get along as a family like. all he wants is not to lose everyone and the only way to do that is#by maintaining a certain order.. he both wants a complete family so bad and doesnt want anything to sour between anyone#so he assigns each of his friends a family role based on how he sees them and YEAH its mostly played for giggles and tamakis#already weird so its his way of showing theyre close to him but. god damn this boy has LAYERS#it also feels kinda meta towards how found family tends to get thrown around to assign characters as 'siblings' or family roles instead of#using it to describe characters who are close enough to be each others family. cuz tamakis doing that EXACT THING in a way tht#ties in with his character and i have to say its fascinating using that within the story itself and its completely plausible#theres a lot of things i can say about ouran that are good bad and questionable but. god i love it when characters are niceys to each other#i remember i really liked the mall episode bc kyoya and haruhi got to spend time together and their relationship isnt very close#but it was really nice to see their personalities bounce off each other. i think i also wouldve liked to see haruhi alone with kaoru#i also firmly believe all of the hosts are at least a little in love with haruhi and this can be anything like endearing romantic cuz like#who DOESNT love haruhi. kyoya i think would want to study her under a microscope like his fascination with her draws him in#but im fucking obsessed with whatever haruhi and tamaki have going on because YES hes obsessed with her YES he jumps at the chance to#put her in a cute costume but haruhi? she just fucking goes with it because she knows hes fun to be around even if hes a little wacky abt i#theyre all so. NNGGHHHH#ouran#ohshc#yapping
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starflungwaddledee · 8 months
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been working on answering a prompt i received in an ask the other day, and so i'm back thinking about... the Thing... 💖🎀 and thought maybe prompt doodles might help me work through this a little?
so uhhh.... if by any wild chance anyone has any ship suggestions for starstruck...??? feel free to send them through!
#this is *only* for starstruck and is not general requests! i'm just trying to figure out how i feel about this 😳#obviously no guarantees that i will be confident enough to draw any of these or that i'll enjoy them all but i just... am considering it?#idk idk idk is this stupid....#hope i won't regret this or won't get genuinely weirdass things.#just to be transparent this is sfw exclusively tho implied flirting is a-okay. please don't be weird....? i'm trusting folks to be nice!!#i would also happily take little prompts if you have thoughts about how it would work or whichever! like if you're a character Understander#if you have an idea how it would Work or what it might Be Like that would also help me to get a concept on how i feel about it!!#also i would.. consider ocs (only from their creator) if you... wanna??? character+artist *must* be an adult. starstruck is in her early 30#also with ocs preferably from folks who i've at least interacted with before and like.. not just bc u want art ;;;#like... do u geniunely think they could have a cute dynamic? i'm just wondering if she could be Cute w someone. AUUghhGHHHH#again no promises and also for now i need this all done on the assumption it's just for fun!! just funsies. i'm just... thinking i guess!#want to try and figure out what it might be like if she WAS involved in a little ship/romo space...? as a treat? auughghhggghGHGLLG#also fair warning i may just get super embarrassed/nervous about this all and delete!! but i'm.. yknow. trying!#also i figure you can kind of tell my faves and who i hardly know much about. might not have lots of feelings about most side chars!#delete later#probably#wheeeeeEEEEeeahahahah okay;;; just post it. just post it starflung. just do it. hit the button hit the button hit the b
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fefairys · 7 months
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so ive been playing the L death note ds game and the L communicator mode is so funny. Literally all you can do is feed him treats and make him say random lines at you. to restock treats you have to wait on the blank menu screen for five minutes at a time for watari to bring more food.
konami said u will keep your ds open on this blank screen for hours just to feed a fake L death note treats so that he'll tell you he loves you.
and you know what i am. i had to pause in the middle of writing this because watari came back with more food.
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giantkillerjack · 4 months
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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jrueships · 28 days
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Bought one of my lil nephew giannis shoes for his birthday bcs he loves giannis and these are some of the ugliest fucking things I have ever laid my eyes on in my life. anyways it's his bday today so i gave them to him. but they are so ugly. he loves them
#i am not a sneakerhead#i wish i could be . finacially i can be. but mentally i cannot#i am not a car guy either. i could. but i cant mentally#bcs the only time id get smthing pretty is to look at it. and keep it safe#and then id want to km$ for not using smthing thats intended to be used bcs i hate wasted potential#once i got these rlly nice shoes#ive worn them once when i was trying them on#and i hate myself every day for doing that but also i just cant get them dirty#BUT I HATE THAT#some ppl can do that. they get a million things and only use it once and yea i COULD but psychologically i just CANT#im friends with a lot of sneakerheads and chain wearers and while i cant mentally make myself one#i can understand why they can#like ppl always wanna excuse not helping ppl by pointing at the stuff they already have#like oh u can buy urself a chain but cant buy ur momma and u a nicer place to live#like ok so credit scores are not existent then. especially when ppl use that phrase against ppl growing into crime like#yes they are making money now but is it good clean money? no. thats not gonna go into smthing long term n hefty like a house#chains are a rlly big thing bcs sometimes some jewelers just dont ask questions. hence bmf's jeweler getting roped into their crime schemes#any business can be like that btw. like michael jacksons doctor getting paid to kill him. the difficulty lvl just changes#and also. random ppl make fun of the stuff they can see or hear right in front of them#random ppl can and will make u feel bad abt any little thing they know or see the best bcs theyre assholes like that#u wear shoes all the time everywhere. thats more and more eyes noticing how old/dirty ur shoes are#or ur cars old n busted or ur phones a fucking android like it doesnt matter. the more ppl can see. the more theyll know#the more sensitive u get abt whats actually small to u at the start but big 2 them n then it gets big 2 u#anyways yea so like. i get it. i dont do it but i can see why others do#anyways yea these shoes are so ugly lol like i dont buy merch of my favs unless the style matches mine personally#he just liked them bcs they were giannis tbh n then i pointed out they were modeled after 1 of the jerseys#which made he rlly want them a while back so i surprised him today#but yea these things are ugly lol im glad he likes them but ew LMFAO
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huellitaa · 1 month
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i giggle so hard whenever i see one of my posts on someone else's blog like omg..... i'm actually liked by people..... blushing rn
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