#(?) does it count if its literally round 1

[circusofshrimps]

sooooo…alien stage

[grouchythefish]

Ok I'm gonna be really salty for a minute over something that doesn't matter but I need people to stop putting explanations of the answers on their poll UNDER the poll.

Do you have any idea how many times I see a poll and vote and THEN scroll down and see stipulations that mean op meant something different than the thing on the poll.

[cozage]

Kicks door down: HELLO

I accidentally sent this request when they were closed so sorry abt that. BUT.

Can you do the water healing one where y/n almost (or does. I’m down for angst) dies because they pushed themselves too much? Bonus points if they literally had no other option

Hi friend! This took me a second to get done because WOAH it was angsty!

CW: Reader death bc i love angst (blame supernova not me), marineford spoilers :) Characters: Zoro, Luffy, Sanji, Law, Ace Word Count: 2.8k

Part 1

Zoro

Zoro trusted you. He did. But Luffy shouldn’t be as energetic as he is right now, even with your healing. Luffy had gone down three times. And Zoro knew you had healed him twice before you had hit your limit. Zoro had seen you vomiting from the pain before he had to go fight his own battle. He had left you curled up in a ball crying in pain, but alive. 

It didn’t make sense how Luffy was so…bouncy. He should be sleeping off the pain and exhaustion from battle, but he wasn’t. So Zoro set off to find you, afraid of what he might find. 

There was an urgency to his movement, his pace faster than normal as he made his way to the last place he saw you. But you weren’t there. Instead, he found a trail of blood, leading off into a side hallway.

It was your blood. Zoro wasn’t sure how he knew, but he did. Zoro clenched his jaw, preparing for the worst as he rounded the corner. But it was just another blood trail. 

He was running as he followed it, weaving around corners and down hallways. He finally came to a door, and the trail ended right in front of it. The doorknob had a dark red liquid on it, but Zoro hardly paid it any mind as he pulled the door open. He found you on the other side, sprawled out on the floor. He dove down to you, looking for any open wound that would need to have pressure applied. 

“Please,” he begged. “Wake up.”

He could tell by the amount of blood around you that it was too late to save you. He kneeled next to you and lifted your limp body, trying to get you to sit up. He checked for a pulse or any signs of breathing, but as he expected, there weren’t any. And so he held you, brushing away the hair that was matted on your face and whispered endless apologies. He should’ve found you sooner. You were only dead now because of his mistakes earlier. 

He held you against his chest and pressed his forehead against yours. Zoro knew he should be crying, but he hasn’t cried in years. He just sat there, softly begging you to wake up, waiting for you to show any signs of life. 

When the rest of the crew finds him, he’s as still as a statue. Nami’s wails and Chopper’s movements around your body don’t even faze him. He doesn’t even really hear them. It’s like he’s underwater, just waiting to wake up from this nightmare. Because he can’t survive the cold reality of living alone without you. 

Luffy

“Don’t heal me, you won’t…”

Those had been Luffy’s last words to you before he had fallen into unconsciousness from his injuries. He had a vague memory of you giving him a soft kiss and whispering something about the king of the pirates, but Luffy wasn’t sure if that was a dream or not. 

Now, as he looked at your broken body, he only felt one emotion. 

Rage. 

At himself. At you. At the universe, for being so cruel. And at the man in front of him, who took you away. 

Everyone thought that your death would immobilize Luffy, in the same way that Ace’s had. But it didn’t. He screamed in rage, and even his own crewmates struggled to stay conscious from the overwhelming power Luffy unleashed. 

Luffy had struggled against his foe, but now the fight was over in a moment. It was like a beast came out of him, snarling and destroying everything in its path. The enemy hadn’t even known what had hit him before he was dead. Luffy had a no kill policy, but an eye for an eye seemed more than fair right now. 

Only after the enemy was destroyed, did Luffy mourn. He ran to your side, asking Chopper to heal you. He begged the reindeer, pulling out each piece of equipment demanding “Have you tried this?!”

Half of the stuff wouldn’t have helped even if you were alive, but he still begged Chopper to try. And Chopper indulged him, even though the little reindeer was sobbing himself. 

When everything was out of the bag, Luffy finally gave in to despair. It was this moment where he went into complete shock, inconsolable at the thought of you truly being gone. He beat on the ground next to you, screaming and sobbing. 

“Please! Please come back!” He screamed over and over again, until his voice was gone. Even when his voice was gone, he just sat there and sobbed next to you. The crew sat with him quietly, waiting for him to finish his grieving. They sat with him all day and late into the night, each of them crying in their own way with him.

Sanji

Sanji had only seen this much blood one other time before. On Thriller Bark, when Zoro had taken all of Luffy’s pain. That’s what you had done too: taken all of Luffy’s pain. And Zoro’s pain. And his own. You had taken on all three of their injuries so they could keep fighting. 

“Go,” you whispered, laying on the floor. You tried to keep the sobs out of your voice, but Sanji heard them and stayed where he was. 

He held your head in his lap, gently stroking your hair. “Does this hurt, my love?”

“Sanji. You need to go fight.” You didn’t want him to see you like this. You knew it was the end. 

“I’m not leaving. You’re hurt. You need me.”

“I need you to go do your damn job,” you said. Tears were flowing out of your eyes onto his pants. “I need you to beat these guys and go find the All Blue. And make sure Luffy becomes King of the Pirates. And Zoro-” you struggled to breathe. “Zoro needs to be the greatest swordsman. Promise me?”

“Shhhh. Don’t talk,” he whispered. His voice was so soothing. You could feel your eyes getting heavier with each word. “Save your strength.”

“Sanji,” you pleaded. “Please.”

“I promise.” His voice was thick with tears. “Just stay with me. I’m here.”

You felt wet drops hit your head, but you were too tired to turn and see if he was crying. You couldn’t even offer false hope. Words were too hard to form. Perhaps just a short rest would be good for you. 

Sanji was too scared to check your pulse, but he knew when you were gone. You just felt different in his arms. He couldn’t explain why. 

He sobbed. But he didn’t beg. He knew it was useless. A part of him had been scared of this happening since the very beginning. His father always told him he was cursed. Everything he loved always died. He was foolish to think you’d be the exception. And now he was alone again. It was almost enough to convince him to throw himself into the ocean and join you in the afterlife. 

But no, he made a promise. Your dying wish. So he had to do this for you and for his friends. He would protect Luffy, he would find the All Blue, and he’d even help that stupid marimo. Not because he wanted to do it. But because his promise to you was the only thing worth living for now. 

Law

When Law came back from the brink of death, he knew it was bad. When he came to his senses, he was laying on the ground, and you were crumpled on top of him. You had saved him again, given his energy back to keep fighting. And now you were in pain because of it. 

He could still feel his energy returning to him, slowly now. He cursed, realizing you were still struggling to help him. 

“Stop!” he hissed. He shambled you away from him, and you landed in the alleyway across the street with a sickening smack against the ground. 

“I told you not to help me!” he screamed at you. “I can fight my own battles!”

A roar came from down the street, and he remembered the reason he was so beat up in the first place. The enemy was closing in again, but with this newfound energy he would finish them off. And then he would deal with you. 

The battle was over quickly. It had been close before, but now he had the clear advantage, invigorated with energy from you and with the rage of almost losing. 

He walked back to the alley to find you, anger coursing through his veins at what you had done. You had made a promise, and you had always stuck to it. But he still hated it. 

“I told you not to help me during battle!” he yelled as he approached you. “I told you not to endanger yourself!”

You didn’t respond. You didn’t even move, and that’s when Law realized you were still in the same position you had been when he sent you away. Your chest wasn’t even rising and falling. 

Panic spiked his heart rate, and he quickly shambled over to you. He ran a scan over your body. No Life Detected. 

No. No, this couldn’t be happening. His knees grew weak, and he collapsed next to you. 

“Y/n-ya. Wake up.”

But you were still frozen in place, only a trail of blood running from the corner of your mouth. 

“Please,” he begged, tears filling his eyes. “Please don’t do this. You promised.”

Your limp body offered no response, and he switched from begging to action. He began CPR, rushing through the events that led to this. You had been alive when he woke up, and the fight had only taken a few minutes. Your body wasn’t rigid, so there was still a possibility he could breathe life back into your lungs. 

But he was the Doctor of Death, and no miracles were performed that day. Instead, his crew found him an hour later, still giving you chest compressions. They watched for thirty minutes, before Shachi finally stepped in.

“Captain,” Shachi said standing next to him. “I don’t think-”

“Shut up!” Law barked. He didn’t stop his rhythm. If he could just get your heart to beat on its own for a moment, it would all be okay.

“You can’t leave me,” Law choked out in a sob. “You promised.”

His crew let him continue to try to revive you, even though they all knew it was a fruitless endeavor. Finally, after three hours, he collapsed. 

His crew rarely saw him shed a tear, but today he sobbed into your chest with more emotion than he had ever shown. And he was never really the same afterwards, either. 

Ace

“I can fix him!” you screamed, running out towards the brothers. 

“Like hell,” Marco yelled, grabbing your wrist to hold you back. “It’s too bad. You know that. You can’t save him.”

“I can,” you sobbed. “I have to. I have to!”

You pulled yourself out of Marco’s grip, and dashed towards Luffy.

“Ace…” Luffy breathed out. “You can’t die.”

“He won’t,” you assured him, sitting down next to him. Ace’s wound looked even worse from here, and you could feel bile rising in your mouth. You had to resist the urge to vomit. You had work to do. 

“Luffy, stay with me, okay? I need you to be ready to take him to safety.”

You were prepared to die for him. You had been for a while. There was no better way to go than saving the man you loved. 

“Dont-” Ace sputtered, coughing up blood.

You pressed your lips to his cheek. “I love you, Ace. Keep living for me, okay?”

Those were fitting last words, and so you pulled out some water from your flask and placed your hands over the hole in his chest. It didn’t matter that everyone was watching you while you did this. You were the last of your kind. Your power would die with you. 

The pain came instantly, just as it had for Ace. You could feel your insides shredding apart as you used your power to repair him. His heart, his vital organs, that’s what you chose to focus on. The things he couldn’t live without had to be repaired by you. Marco could do the rest when they were safe. 

You could feel Ace fighting you, desperate to get away from your grip, but you held on tight, even as your vision became dark and blurry, even as you felt consciousness beginning to slip away, you would continue healing him until the end. 

--

What was only a few seconds felt like eternity, and Ace felt his body slowly begin to heal. He could breathe again.

“Luffy,” he mumbled. “Get her off of me.”

“Ace. Your wound.” Luffy pulled back to look at Ace. “It’s closing up.”

“She’s dying,” Ace sobbed, trying to push your limp body off of him. 

“I’ll be damned,” Akainu said, staring down at your work. “I thought that power was just a myth.”

“Luffy, take her away. Now!” Ace yelled, pushing you towards his little brother. 

“A shame her sacrifice will amount to nothing, though,” Akainu said from behind. Ace felt volcanic heat stir up behind him again. Another strike from Akainu was coming, but Ace was paralyzed with grief.

Jinbe jumped in front of Ace and held off the attack. “Ace, my friend. You have been given another chance. You mustn't lose it now!”

Luffy helped Ace to his feet, still staring at his chest where a hole had once been. It wasn’t completely healed, but Ace was moving. That’s all that mattered.

“We can’t leave her,” Ace said, tears flooding out of her eyes. “Luffy, we can’t-”

Ace’s body racked with a fit of coughs, and Luffy stopped. “Ace! Are you okay?! Does it hurt?!”

“We need to go get her,” Ace said, starting to turn back. But Luffy kept propelling him forward. 

His crewmates were cheering them on, not realizing what your healing had cost you. “If we get you to the ship, we win! Ace! Come on!”

But Ace kept fighting Luffy, trying to go back for you. He couldn’t leave you like this. You had sacrificed everything and now you were lying there in the dirt under Akainu. It wasn’t fair. This was his fault. 

“I’ll get her,” Marco yelled. “Keep going, Ace. You need to go! Pops put everything on the line for you! Don’t waste it now!”

When they finally made it back to the ship, Ace’s eyes scoured the horizon, waiting for Marco to return with you. People were celebrating their victory, but Ace felt like he was going to throw up. 

Finally he saw Marco, carrying your too limp body. As Marco landed on the deck, Ace could see tears in his eyes. 

“No,” Ace whimpered. “No. No! NO! Marco, fix her!”

Everyone stopped to watch the scene unfold. Even Luffy was at a loss for words. 

Marco laid your body down on the deck and wiped the tears from his eyes. “I can’t fix her, Ace. She’s gone.”

“No she’s not! You just didn’t try hard enough!” Ace bent down next to you, grabbing your body and shaking it. “Wake up, Y/N! Wake up! You told me you wouldn’t do this.”

Everyone watched as Ace collapsed against you, violently sobbing into your chest. He slammed his hands against the deck, cursing the world and cursing himself, screaming loud enough for everyone to hear. 

Marco waited a few minutes before intervening. “Ace,” he said, trying to keep his voice calm. “You need to stop.”

“I love you,” Ace sobbed into your chest, beating against the deck. His hands were starting to get bloody from the repetitive punching. “Please stay with me.”

“Ace,” Marco tried again. “If you keep acting like this, your wound will reopen.”

“Let me die, then,” Ace cried. 

“Like hell!” Marco yelled, infuriated with his fellow commander. “You will NOT make her sacrifice and everyone else's sacrifice be in vain! I won’t let you!”

“You don’t get it, Marco!” Ace yelled. He tried to stand, and staggered a bit in the process. “She was the only thing worth living for.”

“And now you have to live with the fact that your disobedience killed her,” Marco’s words were harsh, but true. “But you still have to live! Or else you’d be spitting in her face!”

Ace screamed out in rage and charged towards Marco. However, Ace’s injury made him much slower than usual, and Marco ducked beneath the attack and jumped behind him. 

Ace felt a small pinch in the back of his neck, and the world started to go dark. “I won’t let you kill yourself. She would never forgive me,” Marco whispered, catching Ace as he lost his footing.

As Ace plunged into darkness, all he wanted was to see you one more time. To apologize for all the trouble he caused.

[marigold-hills]

July 5: burnt | @jegulus-microfic | word count: 1048

It’s July now, but it’s been happening for at least three months.

Every evening at half past seven an ice cream van comes hurtling down the street, blearing out its tune. It stops on the corner. No one ever comes out to it. After five minutes of silence, it starts up again, the sound somehow even louder for the reprieve.

James Potter is sick and tired of it - because every evening at seven, five-month-old Harry falls asleep only to be woken up by the noise.

It’s been a bad week. Teething. Crying. James hadn’t had longer than forty minutes of sleep at a stretch in days and it’s starting to get to him. Every single smile Harry gives him makes it worth it, every kicked off sock makes him laugh and every little cuddle leaves him in awe – but.

(He hates the but. Hates adding it. There shouldn’t be one, he thinks, he should be endlessly grateful for every moment, take it all in stride. Because Harry – because his son - isn’t a but. Isn’t a burden.)

But.

Harry falls asleep, little arms stretched out to the sides. James puts him in the crib and the little thing turns himself onto his belly (a brand-new trick, that). Deep breathing, sleepy little sighs.

James is burning and burnt out. Eyes filled with sand. Back half numb from carrying a heavier-by-the-day infant for days with little break.

I’ll have a cup of tea, he thinks, and drink it while it’s still hot. Then sleep.

The kettle boils. James picks out his favourite tea, adds in the sugar. Just finishes pouring in the water when the music starts.

A precarious moment between sleep and waking but Harry tips into consciousness, little face scrunched up with dissatisfaction and cries mounting, building, louder by the second.

James Potter is a patient man, a kind man. But he’s had enough.

He picks up Harry, shushes him. It’s a quick thing, for him to stop crying once he’s in his daddy’s arms, but his brilliant eyes are wide open now, sleep all but forgotten.

It’s the thought of his nice hot cup of tea that does it. He’s barefoot, when he leaves the house, Harry hoisted up on one hip. Babbling happily now because it’s a great adventure, every time they leave the house.

The music stops and there it is, the thrice-blasted ice cream van. James stomps up to it in a manner certainly not dignified. There is no one at the open window.

“Excuse me?” James shouts into the interior.

A head pops up from below the counter and James thinks oh, fuck me, because:

1.        He’s ready and rearing to have a go, furious and fuelled by exhaustion, but the man is the most beautiful creature James had ever had the misfortune of seeing, and

2.        Literally just fuck me, but

3.        He has Harry on his arm and pieces of mashed up carrot in his hair, some unknown substance on his shirt, and the man is stunning, and

4.        James is just so, so tired.

“Yes?” The beautiful man asks, looking a bit confused and that’s fair enough actually because James is the first customer on that spot in the last three months.

“Err…,” he stutters, “a flake, please?”

“I don’t sell ice cream,” says the beautiful, stunned man driving an ice cream van.

James takes a look at the menu on the back wall, and on the decal on the side of the van that says a .99 flake is £2.50.

“No?”

“No,” and somehow the beautiful man is the one who sounds confused, and he won’t stop staring between James and Harry, big round eyes striking underneath black curls, “I sell drugs.”

“Huh. Like… pharmaceuticals?”

“No. Like weed.”

“Huh.”

Harry takes that as a queue to start babbling at a new person he’s never seen before and the man in the van visibly melts. “Hi there little one,” he says, and James knows he should be walking off right this fucking moment, because a self-confessed drug dealer is speaking to his son and that’s just, categorically, not on…

 But.

“Can I get some of that?” He blurts out because it’s been so long since he got high and he’s so so tired, and maybe tomorrow he’ll take his mum up on the offer to babysit, sit in his garden and just smoke.

“Absolutely the fuck not,” the beautiful man says like it’s the biggest affront and isn’t he the one selling?

”But… why?”it sounds weak and petulant even to his own ears.

Harry makes a few giggling sounds and stuffs his little fist into his mouth. James switches him onto the other hip. The man points to the baby, like it answers the question, and actually, fair enough, it does.

(His hand is also rather slender and fragile looking, and there are pretty silver rings on his fingers and James’ sleep deprived brain says bite.)

“I wasn’t… I wouldn’t…” James tries to explain himself, but it all comes out wrong and awkward. “Anyway, no,” he gathers himself and remembers he had a reason to storm out of his house and just because the man was pretty it wouldn’t change that, “you wake him up every day.”

Somehow, he manages to sound stern and he’s pretty proud of himself for that, actually.

The man’s face falls. Just… collapses. Like it’s the worst news he’s ever heard.

“I do?”

“Yeah. You come by just after his bedtime and the music is really loud, don’t know if you noticed. And it’s been months.”

It’s something akin to pure devastation that spreads through the man’s features like a sun burn. “I’m very sorry, little one,” he tells Harry, seriously. “I won’t play it anymore.”

There, job done, James thinks, and finds he doesn’t actually like that, not at all. Still, “thank you,” he tells the man because that’s what polite people do when their requests are granted, and his mum raised a polite man.

They stare at each other, him and the man, and James knows that this is when he should turn around go home, put Harry back down and then maybe have a shower, but…

“Can I have your number?”

And the most surprising thing? It’s not James who asks.

PART 2

[soullumii]

masked up | joel miller x f!reader

pairing: joel miller x fem!afab!reader

summary: joel fucks you while wearing his gas mask

warnings/tags: 18+ content MDNI, very self indulgent smut (unprotected piv oops, mask kink 🤭, vaginal fingering, riding joel cowgirl because that is for sure his fav position, little bit of a bulge kink, oral [m receiving]) descriptions of blood and violence, established relationship (married!! whoop whoop!!), making joel call you “my wife” because i’m weak for that shit, soft!joel, protective!joel, this got sappy, pet names galore as usual, NO USE OF Y/N

word count: 4.2k

a/n: i can’t explain how i feel about joel wearing a gas mask. i swear every time he put it on while i was playing tlou pt 1 i moaned /hj. just HEAR ME OUT PLEEK. JUST WATCH THIS (it’s a tiktok edit) OK YOULL UNDERSTAND.

You don’t mean for the mask to become a thing.

But it does. It becomes a Thing™.

It all starts and ends with Joel, like good and bad things usually do. And this thing is no exception.

But it all begins with something bad.

Coming across spores nowadays is few and far between for you. You're not usually on patrol much, your job being to tend to the crops in the greenhouse and feed the livestock. 

Today, though, you’re not so lucky. With Tommy out sick, you’re filling in for him. Thankfully, though, you’re paired with Joel, your very lovely and very experienced in the art of dealing with infected, husband. So you know if you come across spores, your husband will have your back. 

Spores are annoying, but they're manageable with gas masks. When you and Joel enter an abandoned office building on a new patrol route and you catch sight of the little specks floating through the air, you immediately put yours on, Joel doing just the same. 

The floaty fungal fuckers themselves aren't scary, especially not when you have the gas masks to keep you safe. It's just what waits in the shadows that scares you, because where there are spores, there's infected. Lots of them. 

And usually interspersed in that conglomerate of stalkers and clickers are the big, meaty ones. The kind that have been sitting and festering for years. The kind that could literally rip you into pieces, regardless if you have a gas mask on or not. Bloaters, yeah, those big shits. The fucking bane of your existence.

Unfortunately, the one lazing around in this abandoned office building must somehow pick up on your undying hate for them because within minutes of you and Joel looting the place for all it’s worth, it comes clambering out of what used to be a conference room.

It's a big one. Noticeably disgusting, outrageously hideous, growling and slobbering as it slings mycotoxin at you. It's not very fast, and yet it's so fucking terrifying as it lumbers after you, because you know exactly what it’s capable of. 

You're shooting at it with whatever arrows you have left in your backpack (though they’re mostly just bouncing off it’s thick fungal exterior), and Joel's crunching out shot after shot with his shotgun, but neither of you are hardly making a dent.

God, you wish Joel had brought the flamethrower he keeps in his storage room. You’d make a Molotov cocktail, but with the other infected hot on your heels, there's no time. 

A stalker comes crawling out of the shadows behind you, knocking over an office chair in the process, and you whip around to lodge an arrow right between its eyes. Two more come swinging out of nowhere, and you're so focused on trying to get rid of them so that they can't reach you—can't reach Joel—that you don't realize you've left your back unattended until a large, gross excuse for a hand lands hard on your shoulder, lugging you backwards with inhuman strength. 

Joel shouts your name with increased panic, and you hear his gun fire off more rounds into the bloater's back, but it doesn't care, it's hands finding your head and jaw, gripping you so tight you think it might shatter your mandible.

"Joel!" You scream, eyes squeezing shut as the pain in your jaw multiplies.

This motherfucker is about to rip you clean in half—

You think this is it, I'm about to die in front of my husband by being torn from the jaw down, but, thankfully, death never comes. Instead, the bloater releases you with a pained roar as the sound of squelching fills your ears. You manage to back away enough to watch Joel tug the bloater off of you by the handle of his machete, the blade lodged in its chest. 

He pulls the machete out only to swing it down in an arc straight into its head, repeatedly. Blood splatters all over him as he bludgeons the wretched thing. Over his veiny arms, his black mask. It sinks into the fabric of his flannel.

And funnily enough, this is when it becomes a thing.

The bloater crumples to the floor with a gurgling groan as it finally dies, and Joel turns to you, chest heaving and eyes wide and panicked. They soften, relieved when he catches sight of you physically intact, though, mentally a bit checked out.

Whether that’s because you’re in shock or because your brain is rewiring as it files this new image of Joel away, who knows? Maybe it's a little bit of both. 

“Are you okay?" Joel asks, sheathing his machete to look you over. His hands catch your jaw gently, a welcome contrast to the bloater. He turns it this way and that, checking for any damage or possible bites.

A traitorous thrumming starts up between your thighs as he stares you down through the lenses of his mask. 

"I'm fine, Joel," you say, breathlessly. "Thanks."

“Thank god,” he squeezes your arm lovingly, grateful to see you in one piece. “Let’s get outta here.”

- - -

"Do you like the masks?" You ask him eventually, when you're back outside, the setting sun warming you pleasantly as the tall borders of Jackson rise in the distance.

You both took the masks off the minute you escaped the spores, but a part of you secretly hoped Joel would keep his on.

Joel scratches at his graying beard. "They keep us safe. Don't feel much for 'em at all really." He glances sidelong at you, a curious quirk to his lips. "Why?"

You shrug, "No reason."

Just trying to figure out if you'd wear it during sex if I asked you to, that's all.

“Alright, somethin's up," Joel says. "You've got the look.” 

“What look?” 

“The sex look.” 

You halt in your hike, turning to narrow your eyes at him. “What the hell are you talking about?” 

Joel fails to stifle a chuckle. “You’re horny. That’s the face you make when you want to have sex. Like you wanna eat me alive.” 

Shit. He’s found you out.

“How would you know?”

He blinks. “Honey, I’m married to ya. Of course I’m gonna know.”

Valid. Still-

"I’m not horny," you try to defend, though you've never been good at lying, and based on the self satisfied smile Joel wears, you know he sees right through you. "We almost died, Joel. Maybe this is my 'loving every minute of my life' look."

"I know that look. This ain't it."

Jesus Christ.

You sigh heavily. “Okay, yes. Maybe I am a little horny.” 

"Because…what? We almost died? That gets you goin'?" 

"No," you grit. You can’t even look at him when you say it. “It’s the mask.”

His brows knit. “The...gas mask?”

You nod tightly. 

“I don’t think I’m followin’,” Joel says. 

Is he seriously asking you to spell it out for him?

You take a deep, steadying breath. You don’t quite know how to phrase this, so you just go for it. “Watching you save my life in the gas mask just sort of woke something up in me. It was hot.” 

“Oh.”

Yup. He definitely thinks you’re crazy.

“So, what, you want me to fuck you while wearin' the mask or somethin’?”

Heat pools heavy and thick between your thighs at his words, your heart hammering behind your ribs. “Something like that, yeah.” 

Joel straightens. “...Okay. I can do that.” 

Your head whips up. “Wait, seriously?”

“You’re my wife. If you asked me to fuck you with a damn jester’s hat on I’d do it.” 

You laugh. “Okay, let’s not go that far.”

“I’d really do it for you.”

“It sounds like you actually want to wear it.”

He chuckles, and you two resume walking back to Jackson. “Alright, so, gas mask on tonight,” he says. “Any other requests?” 

“Since you’re asking…maybe you could wear a cowboy hat sometime…”

- - -

"Jesus, you're really lovin' this," Joel muses.

You're laid out beneath him in your shared bed, his long calloused fingers deep in your cunt, his thumb circling slowly over your clit, drawing out your pleasure, stretching it like taffy. Your jeans are still on, unbuttoned and unzipped, and your soiled underwear is pulled to the side as Joel’s hands unwind you. 

You're grasping onto his muscled forearm for dear life, moans leaking out of you in a steady stream as he fucks his fingers into you, curling up to stroke that spot that has you clenching down hard on his digits as the burning starts in your toes, climbing up your thighs. 

He looks so fucking good with that mask situated over his handsome face, his peppered hair flipping out over the straps that keep it snug on him. His eyes are dark through the lenses as they watch you unravel before him, almost black from how dilated his pupils are.

His jeans are still on, his erection straining hard against his zipper. The flannel he wore earlier is gone, giving you the perfect view of his toned chest and the dark hair that dusts it. There's still some blood stains on his mask. Every time you catch sight of them, your body ignites with something carnal and hungry.

"’Cause, you look hot," you huff between moans. 

Joel laughs, deep and rumbling, and the mask warbles it a bit, adding a distortion to his voice that for some reason makes everything happening so much hotter. “I still don’t really get it, but if it’s makin’ you this wet, I don’t care.”

You moan particularly loud at the sound of his voice muffled through the mask and cant your hips against his hand, the combination of his thumb circling your clit and his fingers fucking up into you has you dangling dangerously close to the edge.

“I-I’m close, Joel.”

His brows furrow behind his mask, and he quirks his fingers inside you even more, and you jolt against his hand. 

“C’mon then, baby. Come for me. Show me how much this pretty pussy loves this mask.”

Fucking shit. When you first met Joel, he hardly spoke a single word, and even when you got him to open up more, he was thoughtful with what he said, chose his words carefully. Unless he was angry, then he could be a bit of an ass.

In bed though? Shit, if you can get him to shut up it’s a damn miracle.

“F-fuck, Joel,” you whine, legs stiffening as your orgasm swells inside you, a match striking, lighting up your viscera as pleasure fast-releases inside your veins. 

“There you go baby, that’s it,” Joel purrs. “So pretty when you come.”

You inhale shakily as the last few shocks fizzle through you, your clit throbbing as you come down from your high.

“Fuck…” you huff, trying to catch your breath.

He strokes your thigh lovingly, and if you could see him behind the mask you’d assume he’s probably wearing that soft smile that he gets sometimes that melts you into a puddle of mushy gushy feelings.

Joel leans back on his knees. “Now it’s time to deliver on that promise,” he says, and your skin tingles at the sound of his zipper. 

“Wait,” you tell him, and he stops, looking at you in concern.

“Somethin’ wrong?”

“No I just…I wanna show you how much this means to me.”

“Me wearin’ this mask? It’s not a big deal-“

You sit up and plant your hands on his chest, pushing him down until his back hits the mattress, effectively shutting him up.

You swing your leg over him, situating yourself right on his lap and peel off your tank, delighting in the way his eyes widen and his hands come down to settle warmly on your thighs. 

The muscles in his arms shift as he squeezes your flesh. The drag of the crotch of his jeans against yours has you biting your lip, a zing of pleasure shooting through you.

Joel’s eyes have darkened behind his mask, his pupils swallowing his irises whole besides the thin circle of hazel remaining at the edges as he watches you.

“I’ve never hated jeans more than I do right now,” he says lowly, his gaze dropping to the rapid rise and fall of your chest.

His strong hands slide up from your thighs to your hips to your waist, his dry, calloused skin causing goosebumps to rise in their wake. Finally, his palms cup your breasts, unrestrained by a bra because they’re too hard to come by in this day and age. 

He squeezes gently, and your nipples tighten beneath his palms. And then he rolls one between his thumb and forefinger, and your back arches, pressing you further into him. Your hips grind down automatically, and Joel releases a hazy moan. 

“Maybe,” you gasp when you roll your hips again, reveling in the delicious friction against your clit. “You should take them off.”

“Yours first.”

You don’t press him on it. You want your jeans off. So you lift yourself off of him and the bed to tug at your zipper, and Joel watches raptly as you pull your skinny jeans down your thighs, kicking them off your ankles.

And then you’re only in your underwear, and you throw your legs astride him again, the cloth of your underwear catching deliciously on the tent in his jeans. Joel’s hands find your body immediately, like a sweet tooth to a chocolate bar. His fingers dig into your flesh, and he grips your thighs, pulling them apart to set you on him fully. A shudder wracks your spine at the feeling of him pressed against your throbbing core.

“Goddamn,” he growls, eyes roving over you hungrily. “So fuckin’ perfect.”

You grind down on the hard outline of his cock, and Joel can’t help his reflexive thrust into you, and you sigh. 

“I need you in me, Joel,” you whisper, leaning forward to plant your hands on his broad chest, your fingers messing with the hair dusting his sternum. “Need your cock filling me up.”

“Christ,” he swears, eyes falling shut as he bucks again. “Need’a be in you, sweetheart.”

His hands find your hips and then your ass, squeezing the muscle cultivated there from twenty years of surviving in an apocalyptic world. 

His fingers dip beneath the waistband of your panties, warm and confident. He lightly rakes his fingernails over your skin, running his calloused fingertips reverently over the stretch marks on your hips. 

“So fuckin’ beautiful,” he whispers through the mask. “Wish I could kiss you.” 

You shiver and your arms loop around his neck. His back is scarred beneath your hands, and you rub gently into the muscle of his traps, causing Joel to release a groan. 

His hand gravitates from your hips to the apex of your thighs, and your breath catches in your throat at the warmth radiating from his fingers when he positions them just below where you want him most.

He circles your clit again, smooth pleasure seeping through your nerve endings and your head falls back in a relaxed moan. You grind against the hard outline of his cock and the pads of his fingers against your clit, each slow drag of your hips causing pleasure to fizzle through you, like a flavored tab in a glass of water.

Your hands travel down his chest and stomach, outlining the thick, jagged scar there. Over his dark happy trail that starts just above his belly button and leads down to what your body is desperately craving. A little treasure map. 

You deftly undo the button and zipper and Joel makes a wrecked noise in the back of his throat when your hand brushes the hard outline of him through his briefs. 

“Wanna show you how much I like you in the mask,” you purr as you palm him. “How hot it gets me.” 

“Fuck,” his head falls back when you tug him out of his briefs, stroking his thick length to full mast. “Please, baby.”

You inch yourself down his legs so that you’re face to face with his weeping cock. Joel’s eyes widen and his hand comes up to gently stroke your hair appreciatively, tucking a lock of it behind your ear. He looks at you with adoration, and your heart swells in your chest.

“I love you, y’know that?” He says, softly. 

You can’t help but get a bit misty-eyed, always a fan of Joel when he gets soft like this. “I love you, too.” 

He smiles, and glances down at his dick, maneuvering it so that the head skates across your lips, leaving a trail of precum. His heated eyes find yours again. “Go on and show me then.”

“Yes sir.”

You keep eye contact as you lean forward to give his cock little kitten licks, and his head drops against the pillow with a groan, eyes lidded. “Shit, you can’t be lookin’ at me like that.”

You just smirk, and lick a long stripe up a prominent vein and kiss the tip of his cock sweetly before slowly taking him into your mouth. You take in as much as you can (which isn’t much, he’s pretty fucking big), and your hands find whatever you can’t fit.

You start sucking him in earnest, pressing the flat of your tongue against the ridge of his cock, delighting in the way the hand that had softly petted your hair before is now gripping it tight when you tongue that sensitive spot that always gets him reeling.

“That’s it, honey,” he groans, his hips twitching with tiny little thrusts as he tries to hold himself back. “Just like that.”

You moan against his cock, which has him bucking up reflexively, shoving his dick further into your warm mouth. Your throat spasms around the head of his cock when it hits the back of it, gagging lightly and tears forming at the edges of your eyes.

“Shit, I'm sorry, sweetheart,” he says, wiping the tears from your eyes with his thumb.

You shake your head slightly in reassurance, moaning around his cock again, and he releases a heavy breath, eyes fluttering shut once more as you continue to suck and bob and lick, effectively ruining him.

“Okay, okay, baby,” he says after a little while, lightly tugging on your hair to try and get you to stop. “I’m gonna come if you keep doin’ that.” 

You release his cock with an audible pop and send him a pout, “But that’s the whole point.” 

He chuckles a bit, sliding the mask off for a second so he can pull you up to kiss you softly, his tongue swiping over your bottom lip. You moan gratefully into his mouth when he tilts his head to deepen it, opening up greedily. As attractive as you find the mask, you certainly do miss being able to kiss him. You sigh happily when he pulls back to mouth at your jaw and throat, sucking and nipping his way down. 

“I wanna be in you when I come,” he murmurs against your skin, voice rough and gruff and you don’t think you’ll ever tire of it. “How’s that sound?”

You moan softly when he bites down on your throat, his beard and mustache tickling your skin. “Sounds…sounds good.”

He gives you another kiss before tugging his mask back down over his head, and your skin ignites, pussy fluttering.

Joel laughs. “I can literally see the cogs in your brain turnin’ when I put this on. You really do like it, huh?”

You shrug with a guilty smile. “The heart wants what it wants.”

And what it wants is him. Real bad.

So you drift a hand down to pull your panties to the side and shift your hips to position yourself over him, the head of his cock catching on your entrance. You sink slowly down, his length filling you.

The two of you moan in tandem.

“There we go,” he sighs.

“Mm, so big, Joel…” you whimper, and his dick jumps inside you.

You both just hang there for a moment, suspended in time as you get used to the feeling of each other. You’ve done this so many times, know each others bodies inside and out, yet it’s still a brand new experience every time.

You always have to adjust to his thickness. 

You break the spell with an experimental roll of your hips, and Joel’s hands clamp down on your hips with a vice grip.

“Christ—“ he swears. “You’re so good, so good for me.”

He’s filling you so fully, so deeply right now, you’re practically speared on him, and each roll of your hips has your clit brushing against his pelvic bone, amplifying that white hot pressure building inside you. 

When you and Joel first started getting intimate together, he was quiet in the bedroom. Probably a bit nervous around you—he was the one that fell first, after all.

But now after years together, he lets it all out.

Grunts and moans leak out of his gritted teeth as you fuck yourself on top of him. He’s dousing you in praises, telling you what a good girl you are. How perfect you are. How lucky he is to call you his wife. 

It’s all so very adorable and very sexy and you just love him so fucking much. 

Joel plants his feet down behind you, just to get some leverage so he can thrust his hips up into you at a steady pace. Your hands find purchase on his chest, keeping you upright while he fucks you.

His large palm slides around the front of your stomach, pressing down, and you can feel the way his cock moves inside you as he does it.

“You see that, baby?” 

You haven’t really looked down, so focused on the way he looks in the mask, how his breaths are coming out heavier and rougher through it. The way he sounds wrecked. But now that he’s asking, you do. 

You look down, only to see a slight bulge in your stomach with each thrust of his hips. 

A pleasant shudder runs through you. “Oh fuck.”

“Love seein’ the way I fuck you,” he rasps.

You watch his cock disappear and reappear with a slack jaw, eyes glazed as his hands stray to your thighs, squeezing and kneading the flesh.

You’re losing strength in your arms, your nails scraping through his chest hair as you try and remain upright, but the effort of matching his thrusts with your own along with the steady ecstasy filling your marrow is enough to have you collapsing against his chest, boneless.

And now Joel can really take the reins. His big hands grip your ass, holding you still as he pounds into you, your cheek smushing against his pecs with each heavy thrust, your clit rubbing against his sweat-slicked skin.

“F-fuck, Joel. Oh my god—“

“Yeah, yeah,” he grunts. “Atta girl.” 

Within moments you’re already there, eyes squeezing shut, brows pulled together in ecstasy as your climax crashes over you in rolling waves. It ebbs and flows within you as you listen to the heated pants modulating through Joel’s mask, watching his eyes gloss over as he chases his own release. 

It’s so fucking good. So right. Your husband never fails to give you exactly what you want.

His thrusts grow sloppier as he follows soon behind you, the fluttering walls of your cunt pulling him over faster.

“I’m comin’,” he grits. And then he’s grinding his cock into your pussy, holding you still against him as he paints your insides with thick ropes of cum, releasing a long, drawn out, wrecked moan of your name.

You lay pliant on his chest, practically drooling on him as you both come down and his cock softens inside you, slick and cum running down the inside of your thighs. His heart pounds under your ear, a steady reminder that he’s alive and here and that you, thank fuck, didn’t die earlier today.

“Thanks,” you mumble against his perspirant skin.

He tugs the mask off, his hair sticking to his sweaty temple. “‘Course, darlin’. Though as hot as that was, I dunno about having sex wearin’ that again. I think I was startin’ to get light headed from the lack of air.”

You giggle, “I’m sorry.”

“No, no. I liked it. But now anytime we have to wear them again I’m just gonna be thinkin’ about this. Gonna get a damn hard-on when I’m on patrol.”

You smirk, leaning up to plant a kiss on his lips. He opens up beneath you immediately, moaning softly into your mouth. 

“Maybe that was my goal all along,” you mumble, smiling into the kiss.

He pulls back with a quirked brow and crooked grin. “You are into some sick kinds of torture.”

“I mean, if it gets you coming home to me quicker…”

“Oh I’ll be comin’, alright.”

Your face scrunches. “God, you’re sick. Why did I even marry you?”

His eyes melt, one hand squeezing your ass cheek, the other stroking your jaw. “Because you love me.”

That causes tears to well in your eyes again, because despite everything, despite all the fucked up things about this world, you do love him. You’re capable of loving him. And you’re grateful that, even with the terrible way life has treated him, he’s capable of loving you too.

“Yeah, I do,” you say.

He kisses you again, sweet and passionate and filled with all the things he never knows how to say. “I love you, too.”

[fairytale-poll]

ROUND 2D, MATCH 1 OUT OF 8

Propaganda Under the Cut:

Once Upon a Time (in Space):

She spent decades searching every moon and planet trying to find her wife (Rose), who was kidnapped on their wedding day. Eventually, she found Rose, and they embraced, only for Rose to die in Cinder's arms. And so Cinder killed the king who had kidnapped Rose by punching through his chest and into his heart.

And then Cinder got a somewhat happy ending, in which she met Rose's clone who had Rose's memories.

What if Cinderella was a Sci-Fi lesbian? Well here she is. She has a whole love song about searching the stars for her girlfriend after their wedding was interrupted and she was taken away. She spends years searching only to when she finally finds and embraces her watch her be shot. Cinders is so devastated by this that she plunges her wedding ring into the heart of the man who shot her love killing him.

Lesbian space princess who elopes with the terrifying soldier who was previously conquering her planet and spends decades searching for her when they're separated. Listen to her song https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6w9V-gMgBF4

I think the way she punches the evil king through the heart as revenge for her wife is pretty neat.

She’s a revolutionary married to a woman, what’s not to love? From Cinders’ Song: “ When I was a little girl, my mother always told me / "Someday your prince will come, my love" / But as I grew, I knew it was a princess who would hold me”.

her girlfriend got cloned and most of said clones were brutally slaughtered in war and she searched for her girlfriend all throughout the galaxy and when they were finally reunited on the battlefield her girlfriend died. and a clone of her girlfriend who due to technical errors retained her memories, so does that count as the same girlfriend? theseus's girlfriend? anyway vote for cinders she's been through hell

Lesbian!! Has to search for her lost love Rose with her glass wedding ring that changes color when its near its partner!! Gets to embrace Rose once again for one final moment before the villain kills Rose right in front of her!! So Cinders kills him in return!! And she's left as (almost) the only surviving main character from her own album but!! She is eventually reunited with a clone of Rose, and while they cannot have a truly 'happy ever after' together they are the ones graced with the closest thing to it

SPACE LESBIANS (she's in love with Rose Red, who gets kidnapped on their wedding day and Cinders searches the galaxy to find her, waiting for her white ring to turn crimson, indicating that its twin was near) She took her name from the ashes of her burning planet <3 She also killed Old King Cole >:)

shes a tragic lesbian and killed a violent dictator shes literally the best

shes gay shes traumatized she dates both rose red and sleeping beauty. badass space wanderer looking for her wife

Her wife Rose gets kidnapped on their wedding day and Cinders spend the next thirty years looking for her. She finds her (:D) and then Rose dies (D:) and then Cinders kills the guy who killed Rose (girlboss).

shes a lesbian. she lost her wife, Rose (yes, as in sleeping beauty) the day they got married bc she was kidnapped. she spent 20 YEARS looking for her. as soon as she found her wife, Rose DIED IN HER ARMS. Cinders has gone through Too Much to lose this poll

(Her info from the wiki) the Princess of a planet burnt by King Cole's army, after it is ceded by her stepmother. She is imprisoned, meets Rose and plans to marry her. She is released by her godmother for the wedding, then flees when the attack happens, spending thirty years looking for Rose. Her half of the wedding ring will light up when she finds Rose.

"When I was a little girl, my mother always told me 'Someday your prince will come, my love' But as I grew, I knew it was a princess who would hold me I looked to the stars for you, my love" She's lesbian Cinderella IN SPACE. She fell in love with her wife in prison and they ran away to have a secret marriage but the empire kidnapped Rose on their wedding night and Cinders had to leave her behind. She searches for Rose for decades with the glass ring that guides her to its twin on her wife's finger. She finally reunites with her love after Rose rips three supersoldiers to pieces with her bare hands (hot) but then then the evil king kills Rose so Cinders fucking punches through his heart. And then a clone of Rose (who is also lesbian Sleeping Beauty IN SPACE) finds her cradling her wife's body and they have a happy reunion(?) and maybe they didn't have a happy ending BUT WHAT IF THEY HAD EACH OTHER? HUH? AAAAAH

she’s everything. she’s a princess from a long since conquered planet. she was imprisoned to make a statement of the brutal reign of old king cole. she met her wife while she was in prison, a beautiful brutal soldier covered in scars from battles. cinders and rose fell in love, so cinders’ godmother in white broke her out of jail so rose and cinders could be together. they were going to be married, except that OLD KING COLE intervened and kidnapped rose to make her the genetic base of his unholy army. so cinders spends THIRTY YEARS searching the galaxies for her love (and sings a really cool song about it called “Cinders’ Song”) until finally she arrives during the final battle just in time to see old king cole SHOOT ROSE DEAD. so cinders punches the king so hard (with her wedding ring) that he just Crumples Into Dust. the end! (no we do not talk about the fiction.)

lesbian, for one, and for two i don't really care i just think it'd be cool if she got in/if she made it past the first round

no one seems to have linked cinder’s song yet, so here [Link]

better yet, listen to the whole album too, for context and also what comes after. it slaps and also tragedy it's such a good album suhc a good band too

Someone already sent the song as propaganda, so I will provide SPOILER propaganda. [Click link to see spoilers.]

The Lunar Chronicles:

Linh Cinder:

Her glass slipper is her prosthetic foot. She's a cool badass mechanic queen. She's named Cinder because her aunt set her on fire as a toddler but she survived. She's a a cool cyborg with psychic powers, and she's also a really good mechanic.

She's a cyborg and she's from the Moon

She is a badass mechanic who is also a cyborg and did not intend to get dragged into this mess. She becomes a fugitive of the law, running from the prince who is also her romantic interest and is just objectively the best.

I love a sarcastic character and I love a good confrontation scene and she's great with both

she's a cyborg she's a mechanic she's a princess she's a fugitive she's the best.

She's a mechanic she's the lunar princess she has two prosthetic limbs she's supposed to be dead. Her best friend is an android who's a fangirl of her boyfriend (Kai, the emperor). Her ball was actually her showing up to keep Kai from getting seduced by her aunt (who's queen of the moon) and then killed. Instead of losing her slipper she just lost her entire foot. (That's all just in the first book.)

look man, if you've read tlc you know why but if not: cinder here goes through a lot, from living in a shitty household to leading a rebellion and witnessing what's practically a massacre (TWICE), getting stabbed in the mc'freaking heart and surviving, being a wanted fugitive, Oh, and also, she loses her goddamn FOOT instead of a glass slipper lol (albeit the foot is a prosthetic, which i might've forgotten to add, her left arm and (i think) leg are metal due to getting BURNED as a toddler by her somewhat power hungry aunt)

She's SO cool she's a mechanic and really clever and also an amputee and her prosthetics are very cool and she has fun space adventures with her little gang of found family and is also the heir to the crown on the moon and is trying to get control of it from her aunt (who's a dictator) so she can help the moon people be less oppressed! tl;dr she's a girlboss

She literally got set on fire. Shes a cyborg. Shes such a girl boss that her love interest kept her severed prosthetic foot as a memento. She is a revolutionary [against her will] and a politician [also against her will]. Shes a skilled mechanic, and called the queen of a super-powerful alien race with the ability to manipulate people’s perceptions of reality ugly TO HER FACE. Queen does not give a shit and just wants to hang out with her robot bestie and her dork ass boyfriend who is also the leader of an entire country. Shes iconic, she is the moment.

she's a teenage cyborg who works as a mechanic and is secretly royalty - a badass and i love her!!

Kickbutt cyborg Cinderella princess

Cyborg and mechanic is a fun new twist on classic Cinderella! (At least when I read it and it was new). Plus she’s got her Prince/Emperor all wrapped around her fingers before the ball!

she's cool as fuck that's why!! cyborg cinderella in a cool-ass future sci-fi world, she doesn't have glass slippers so she loses her ill-fitted cybernetic foot, she has a gun in her cyborg hand (mostly uses nonlethal projectiles), she has cool sci-fi magic mind powers, she's from the moon, she's a mechanic & she's smart as hell, she literally forms a ragtag team of other fairytale inspired characters & dethrones the evil queen of the lunar monarchy. also her prince charming is cool & funny & they're so sickeningly in love their feelings could power the sun. anyway vote Cinder ✨️

cinder is a mixed cyborg mechanic who has acquired beef with both her stepmother (adopted) and her bio aunt (tyrant queen levanna) and manages to escape their attempts to keep her down (including arson when she was like. 3 years old) and ultimately overthrows her aunt in a revolution lead by her and the other fairytale retellings (red riding hood and wolf, rapunzel and her ‘prince’, and her cousin snow white and her prince) and establishes a democracy! i enjoyed the series growing up and i personally think that cinder is very cool :]

The first book in The Lunar Chronicles is a retelling of cinderella, and my gosh it’s amazing. Cinder is a cyborg and faces a lot of prejudice, and it’s interesting to see that even in the future, where the book is set, there’s still so much discrimination, and Cinder faces it so well. She’s smart and snarky, and has such character growth and cares so much and akhjfqwthbj

shes cinderella if cinderella was a cyborg and also secretly an alien moon princess. fucking amazing series everyone should read it. It's very common for Cinderella retelling that "girlboss" her end up sending the weird message that victims of abuse should simply stand up for themselves <3 I really like Cinder because she's spunky and snaps at her stepmother, but it doesn't. do her any good? It just makes her stepmother worse. Also one of her stepsisters is nice, I love Peony.

Cyborg Cinderella, long-lost princess of the moon, revolutionary against the evil queen.

she’s a cyborg! instead of losing her shoe on the steps of the palace her entire foot comes off 👍 thats hard as fuck she’s so cool

I have to say this now, because I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to share this story for ages now, because it’s so amazing. Not only did Marissa Meyer, author of the Lunar Chronicles and creator of Linh Cinder, start off her writing journey as a Sailor Moon fanfiction author, but I have a second-account story of how amazing and nice she is... [Click link to read the rest of it]

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Sword gays showdown, round 1, bracket two

*Camilla fanart by @friendamedes, used with permission

Propaganda:

For Hua Cheng:

King of ghosts and ruler of Ghost City. So good at sword he beat 33 gods in duels. Canonically gay and in love with the former prince, current exiled god of trash Xie Lian. His sword is sentient and also his own eye. Its name is E-Ming and if it ever cut you, it can reopen the wound any time. It's really cute despite its reputation, wants to be pet by Xie Lian like a little kitty.

He's got a sword that is literally a part of him. He made it from his own eye. It's sentient and behaves like a puppy and I just really love E-Ming

Spoiler but he has a very cool saber thats (kinda) alive and made out of his own eye? Does that count?

For Camilla:

she prefers dual-wielding two short blades but can fight with pretty much anything. she's ambidextrous she's autistic she's even sex-repulsed ace. she sighs longingly when reunited with her weapons. she's from planet academia and dresses like an off-duty librarian. literally one of the most iconic moments of the entire series is when she gets challenged to a duel and absolutely wipes the floor with her opponent even though she doesn't even like rapiers that much. 'swords don't lie.' 

OK I’m sure you’re getting just about every character from The Locked Tomb but Cam is my favorite. She's a nerd AND a jock. She is in this deeply intense and loving and unhealthily codependent soulbond partnership with her best friend second cousin and prince. She is smart and deadpan snarky and fights like a grease fire and I have never been able to get that line out of my head.

[literallys-illiteracy]

I'm not late you're late - New Shit Overview - Limbus Company - BP EGO:

Overview of all the Battle Pass EGO, plus with nice art from various artists i follow, that being said

please follow and support the original artists, all art is credited, with links to original artist source + other main accounts.

No the art isn't strictly necessary but I like using this as an excuse to shoutout some artists i like

Yearning - Mircalla Meursault:

Src: Project Moon (yes this is the PV, Art of this hasn't come across my dash/feed on any media i use for art :(, this is a placeholder, i'll probably make something for this)

can roll for up to 29 if the enemy has 12 bleed, rolls for 21 without conditionals this is essentially a better version of Sanguine desire rodion it is able to proc bleed-damage 5 times when being used, which is higher than the 2x damage that Sanguine Desire Rodion can deal, not to mention the fact that Rodion Deals lust damage while Meursault deals flat (bleed) damage

even more: Meursault's EGO needs 4+ resonance, not 4+ Absolute Resonance as Rodion does for highest results

This EGO also has a unique effect: Rose Wedge:

""Basically"" Max count is 4: This effect's count is applied through Meursault's EGO, up to a max of 4; Count is reduced at round en Max Potency is 10: Every time the unit with this effect takes 10 Bleed damage, increase potency by one. When this unit gains bleed through getting hit, inflict 1 bleed on attacker and 2 bleed on self. At 10 Potency, also gain +1 bleed count. [Combat end]: At either 10 Potency or 1 count, this effect expires, and deals [Potency x10] lust damage to this unit (max 100 Lust damage) if this effect kills, deal [Potency x2] Lust damage to all this unit's allies.

This unique effect on its own deals roughly half of Rodion's sanguine desire's lust damage effect.

This EGO also shares the same finale effect as Sanguine Desire: dealing the excess damage (on fourth coin specifically, so if it kills coins 1-3 then this effect will not proc) to all other allies of that unit.

Corrosion:

this EGO corrosion makes use of Meursault's predisposition for High-HP ID's, as it consumes 10% of his own Max HP in order to deal 5% of his max hp (or rather the consumed HP/2) to all allies and enemies.

This effect does not trigger below 50% hp however, in which case he will add 5 bleed to all allies, before activating bleed on all allies and healing for the damage done (minimum (assuming 6 sinners) 30 HP, Max (assuming all allies have 99 Bleed potency) 594 HP healed)

The corrosion rolls for a whopping 1 higher than the awakening, at 30 (with conditionals)

This EGO, when corroding, does not require the same 4+ resonance that the awakening does for the first 2 Bleed damage-trigger effects, the final coin's triple trigger however does require said 4 Resonance.

The third coin of corrosion saves you some time, as if the enemy did not have Rose Wedge prior to it being inflicted, it inflicts an additional 4 potency, meaning only 60 bleed damage must occur for max damage.

-

My primary concern for this EGO is that of Bleed-count sustainability, i know that vampires are literally the bleed 'counts' but still (i am so sorry).

Namely because, the coin effect of the triple bleed activation requires a clash win, meaning that it cannot work against staggered targets; This is notable as it means the enemy requires at least 7 bleed count prior to Meursault beginning his clash, otherwise all bleed count will be consumed (1 or more from clashing, 1 each from coins 1 and 2, and then up to three from the final effect). Meursault's best bleed EGO, Rhino, is however excellent at applying bleed, as are many other ID's, the only problem therin being that those ID's have a tendency to be less effective regarding bleed potency that not.

This EGO, although i actually already wrote on it slightly in the past, makes me think about what is it that Meursault is so longing for in order to use this EGO; I know there's the line of thought with carnal desires relating to Marie back in the book, but id argue that its likely to be more than that, as if it was purely desire-driven then Heathcliff or Ishmael would have been better fits for the EGO.

His passive heals him for like up to 10 HP per turn, equal to the amount of bleed damage he deals/takes or something, i only noticed i didn't mention this at all in final editing

Yearning - Mircalla Don Quixote:

Src:@NishikujiC on twitter

This EGO rolls for up to 12 without conditionals. Coin power gained based on enemy bleed, up to 2, allows for this ego to roll for 23. And this EGO gains clash power based on BLOODFEAST CONSUMED BY **SELF** (which Don Quixote is currently unable to do, until she gains her season ID presumably) all together this EGO can clash for 23 currently, and 28 when she gets her seasonal ID.

This EGO deals more damage for each coin based on **Cumulative** Bloodfeast Consumed, which includes all allies and enemies. All coins share the same damage increase ratio, being 1% per 10 Bloodfeast Consumed (shared), or 0.1x per 1.

Coin 1 maxes out at 10% increase, requiring 100 Bloodfeast consumed; Coin 2 At 20%, needing 200. Coin 3 at 30%, needing 300. Coin 4 at 50%, needing 500 total bloodfeast consumed.

This EGO also has a unique effect, Polydipsic Rose:

Max Value: 5 Turn end: If this unit has 10+ bleed potency, take 1% max HP lust damage per value (maximum 30 Lust damage per value), then reduce value by one.

The awakening EGO applies 4 of this effect, which will deal a total of 10% max hp Lust damage (max 300 Lust damage) over its duration.

The Corrosion EGO applies 5, dealing a total of 15% max HP Lust damage (Max 450 Lust damage)

When used in Corrosion:

this EGO will roll for 30, being a negative coin EGO. It additionally has the Yaoi-Meursault effect of unyielding until the skill is finished, where her HP cannot drop below 1.

On use, gain 20 bleed, activate bleed on self, and reduce bleed count on self by 2; this can theoretically be useful for removing potentially fatal bleed count on self, however i believe its intended use is to instead stack more latent bloodfeast for the bloodfiend ID's to use.

Funnily enough, due to her passive "Spring Crimson Blossom", she is less likely to roll heads if this EGO has been used previously this combat, as she will heal a whopping 2 SP due to the 20 bleed damage on self.

This EGO corrosion is able to inflict 22 bleed potency, 2 through a [before attack] effect if under 150 bloodfeast; 1 for every 50 Bloodfeast consumed (total) up to a max of 10 and 500 consumed. 10 inflicted when under 100 bloodfeast.

on the second coin, it deals 20% increased damage for every 100 total Bloodfeast consumed, up to a max of 100% increase. additionally, this EGO will heal Don for 50% of the damage that coin dealt, exactly like Le Sangre De Sancho, except this healing is maxed at 10 per target, for a max of 70 healing. 70 Healing is nothing to scoff at in the slightest, but at the same time, the other self healing-damage dealing EGO in the game, Wingbeat, can consistently heal Ishmael to full HP Moreso, other healing EGO arent limited by the targetable enemies, making this far less useful than other healing EGO in any non-group battle situation, maybe if she had some sort of gimmick like meursault where she had 14 attack weight but only healed/dealt bleed damage on allies? idk.

Her passive heals for 1 SP every time 10 bleed damage occurs, maxed at 10.

Lasso Faust:

Src: @stellar-jasper Stellar_jasper Linktree

this EGO rolls for 13 without conditionals. This EGO gains power based on enemy rupture and speed, being able to roll for 22 total.

Before attack: Gain 2 Haste next turn.

This EGO is count negative by one, as it inflicts +2 on coin 1 of three.

This EGO's passive works well with Seven Ass. Faust due to having the same: "after attack, if enemy is staggered or defeated". This EGO passive is also able to inflict rupture count, being +1 count on 2 enemies

Lasso Hong Lou:

Src: @stellar-jasper Stellar_jasper linktree

This EGO rolls for 12 without conditionals. With conditionals (total speed (self speed + Enemy speed) and enemy Rupture) this ego rolls for 24.

This EGO is ALSO count negative, inflicting *up to* (based on glut. Resonance) +3 count on coin 3 of four.

its weird that PM has been trying to make Rupture-Bleed a thing since season 1, back with Ebony Queen's stem.

This EGO is interesting? its Rupture count negative, it inflicts rupture based on own speed?

This EGO also has an effect (Lasso Faust corrosion shares this effect but i CBA): "Lasso"

Lasso: Round end, gain rupture potency equal to speed value (max 5), then reduce count by one and gain 1 bind next turn

....

....why does it inflict based on speed count... when it drops their speed count? it drops their speed count...

This EGO actually rolls lower during corrosion, being 23 rather than 24.

In corrosion this EGO inflicts 1 extra HP healing down and Lasso effect, while inflicting 1 less rupture count (due to it losing a coin it remains at -1 count total) and +2 bleed count.

I rather like the correlation between roses and bloodfiends, linking the Rose-hunter's into being the bloodfiend hunters as only bloodfiend hunters (and also season 1's R.B. Chef de Cuisine Ryōshū) possess this effect.

The only flaw in that correlation however is that the "rose" aspect of the hunter is not it searching for roses, the "rose" descriptor is self referential, it is instead hunting apples.

on the final coin only, deal 1% more damage for every rupture, and the same effect for bleed, for a potential 60% increase total.

I don't like rupture very much so i don't have too many thoughts on that aspect, however, i am somewhat interested in the thematic surrounding this Abnormality, including both Faust and Hong Lou, alongside the fact that it was included in Don Quixote's Dungeon and Canto. Specifically, other than the obvious fairy tale motif shared by Don herself, it has the trait of a supposed "predetermined story" of sorts, as seen through both the awakening EGO lines:

Follow the predetermined path of the tale. Be ensnared, for that is only right.

Run along the flow and voilà~ There you are!

This can be related to Don herself acting "how a fixer should act" in her belief, upholding, and attempting to prove the justness of her version of justice, and her dismay when something should slight that (eg. during the casino scene of canto 2).

there is more elaboration to be made in a follow up post, i would normally write it here, however i like to avoid cross-contamination with when i discuss spoilers/new content

Hex Nail sinclair:

(There were others i just wanted an excuse to shout this artist out) Src:@shroomychan.bsky.social @Myceliumycete on tumblr

Rolls for 21 max.

Hits up to 3 enemies.

Inflicts up to 4 curse (2 min. 4 max.) and inflicts 3 nails. this EGO also consumes 2 curse on hit, and activates both those curse-effects immediately. At 4+ curse, inflict 1 same turn clash power down for some reason its clarified that it can only inflict the clash power down once per turn which.... its a 2 coin skill so Rusty Commemorative Coin doesn't work... and it's an EGO so you can't use it twice in a turn?

Corrosion:

this EGO rolls for a 25 in corrosion, becoming a negative coin skill.

the conditional for maximum curse is now removed, being 4 by default; the first coin also applies one more bleed potency. (3)

if 4+ envy resonance, this skill will inflict 1 clash power down (still same turn). For some reason the in game text feels the need to clarify "4+ envy resonance including this skill" which... yeah? that's how resonance works? None of the other EGO released this batch have these weird additional sections in their coin effects, its only Hex Nail(s)? All of the others just say "for/if X+ resonance"

additionally, this skill will have attack weight 3 by default instead of requiring envy resonance (for every 3 envy resonance INCLUDING THIS SKILL gain attack weight +1)

Passive: Gain Clash power up and defense level up if this unit has a negative effect on self at round start... This EGO doesn't have any self inflicted negative effects? Not even the corrosion has any self negative effects? Sinclair doesn't even have a self-negative effect ID yet? and i don't see him getting a bloodfiend ID for self-bleed shenanigans? idk.

ok now let me Nail Sincla

Hex Nail Rodion:

Src: minji_mj2802 on twitter Minji_mj's Carrd

Rolls for 24

After attack will heal SELF AND 2 OTHERS for 15% of THIS UNIT'S max HP. Note two things, the fact that this will always heal self (which pursuance is unable to do) and heals based on own max HP, unlike other Healing EGO like Meursault's Pursuance which heals the other sinners max HP.

Each unit being healed will heal 2.5% HP for every negative effect on self (max 10% increase to healing)

Heals self and three allies at 4+ envy resonance [[INCLUDING THIS SKILL]].

inflicts 4 Bleed, 3 curse, 3 nails.

in corrosion, this EGO rolls for 28 as a negative coin skill.

This attack will heal 3 other allies and self for 20% of this unit's max HP. every unit this heals will gain 1 offence level up for every negative effect on self (max 3) this will also heal one additional ally at 4+ envy resonance **[[INCLUDING THIS SKILL]]**

Passive:

When this unit inflicts bleed or unique bleed against an enemy with non EGO attack skills, inflict 1 defence level down (once per turn) Also inflict 2 additional bleed if target already possessed bleed or unique bleed.

If an ally, including self, takes unblocked HP damage from "the" enemy, inflict 1 curse against said enemy (2 times per turn)

I want to point out the fact that the description says from "the" enemy? i'm assuming this means that once you hit someone they gain curse if they attempt to attack someone back? Also, i'm fairly sure that Rodion is now the first to have 3 He EGO? we need someone to get a third Zayin, fourth Teth, fourth He, or second Waw to break the records now i guess

Now there are some interesting things to note about Hurting teddy bear as a whole so lets give that its own heading:

Hex Nail Primogenitor Hurting Teddy Bear:

Or i suppose happy teddy bear is the ancestor so it should be just progenitor? or is the well the primogenitor? im overthinking this.

So lets start with obvious observations: The correlation that can be made with voodoo dolls, the common idea of a cursed doll that you insert nails into, hence the status effect "Curse" first being present in this abnormalities EGO and only later appearing in another archetypically "haunted" or "Cursed" thematic of Bygone Days.

While 'Happy Teddy Bear' was a toy that was abandoned by its owner, the Hurting Teddy Bear seems to not have the same kind of integrality with its owner that its progenitor had, due to the lack of any direct mention of its owner. Rather, 'Hurting Teddy Bear' seems to be indicative of abuse or being controlled by another in life, represented through a clearly abused and neglected toy — It's less directly clear as to how this relates to Faust's past as we know, to use to technical term, "absolutely fucking nothing" about her past; Rodion's relation can be seen in her sprite and animation, with her use of the bear as a puppet (or the puppets control of her during corrosion), this is related to social determinism*, wherein the circumstances of neglect and abuse that surrounded Rodion within her past were the direct cause of her crime of murdering the pawn shop owner. we can too see this in the Corrosion line:

Now, little Rodya. Hurt them with your own hands. Fuhu, ta-da!

The obvious correlation to be made being "Hurt them with your own hands". This concept of puppetry extends in two more aspects, the first of which being Rodion's base EGO: What is Cast. specifically referring to her line during said EGO, which reinforces my posited argument with the abuse controlling her:

I couldn't undo a thing

'She' couldn't undo a thing, 'she' wasn't the one who was in control.

as for the second, i have yet to see this for myself but from what i've heard: while her face during the corrosion's idle sprite is normally somewhat dour, if zoomed in on, her expression changes to that of a normal, cheery Rodion. This can be interpreted as the consequences/circumstances of Rodion's abuse and past still controlling how she behaves to this day, while still in this company, a concept that is a fairly common sentiment ive seen as her story is far from finished.

The awakening sprite could be representative of this in reverse, her harm towards those who ARE corrupt and immoral.

Sinclair is much more direct, being the concept of abuse and exploitation by Kromer, and to some extent im sure neglect by his family — This doesn't explain the entirety of this EGO however, as the line's do not support this entirely:

Why don't you try impaling yourself with it, then. Feel what it's like to have someone curse you…

Now that you're torn, I'll sew you up! Heheh… Get over here!

Rather than just being *the* abuse that Sinclair has suffered, i believe that, while downstream of that idea, the most accurate representation is the embodiment of resentment, hatred at others who abused him over time, his seething wrath.

of course my theory is discounted because this EGO doesn't use Wrath resources.

*(which i am NOT FUCKING ADDING RODION TO I ALREADY HAVE 10 CHARACTERS IN THAT ESSAY MY GOD)

[arzen9]

Can I Be Good? Chapter 1: Welcome to the Crimson Palace - Lark

pairing: Astarion/f!Tav | Astarion/f!OC 18+ MDNI word count: 2k tags/warnings: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Not Canon Compliant, Vampire Ascendant Astarion, Redemption, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Mystery, Romance, Drama, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Original Female Character summary: Centuries of pain, a ritual, (not) hunger, (not) desire, a lost soul, a search, a yearning, bodies, bodies... And a heart that changes everything.

Finally I am putting the modern AU story I've had in my head for a while out there, I hope it will be as enjoyable to read as it is to write it! I am VERY excited for this story to unravel. I will be updating the tags as the plot progresses.

I will TRY to update on a weekly basis, BUT life can happen!

If you're reading this, I LOVE you<3

I will be making a playlist to go with this story, so keep an eye out for that also!

“They call him…” Wyll pauses for dramatic effect, and downs his shot of tequila. “The Lord of the Night.”

Lark and Lae’zel blink in unison before falling into a fit of giggles. Lark even snorts. 

“Fucking unreal,” she says while she pours another round for all of them. 

“But you are desperate for a job, yes?” Lae’zel asks.

“That I am,” Lark responds and sinks further down the couch. 

“It’s just a stupid rumor,” Wyll tries. “You know people of Baldur’s Gate love to gossip.” 

“We’ll see if it’s a rumor or not, I guess,” she says and reaches for her shot glass. “My interview’s next week.” 

“We need to spice up, as you say, our hang out places,” Lae’zel suddenly interjects. “We always meet in one of our apartments. If we got out more, we would know if this boss of yours was really the lord of the night or not.”

“He’s not my boss yet,” Lark says, squinting her eyes as the tequila makes its way down her throat. “You’re right though.”

Wyll jumps in his seat. “I have an idea.”

The two women eye him in the low light of the room. 

“Why don’t we go see this Crimson Palace for ourselves? A test drive, so to speak.”

“I like it,” Lae’zel says flatly. Lark agrees. 

Because why not? They have never tried going to the most popular nightclub of Baldur’s Gate— owned by one mysterious figure, only seen by those who subscribe to magazines that compile lists for the city’s best dressed, richest, most luxuriously-living— Lark’s potential future boss, Astarion Ancunín. She has done some research online on him, but there doesn’t seem to be much information beyond his physical appearance— a man that looks like he was hand-sculpted by the Gods themselves. Lark had shown some of the pictures she saw online to her friends, garnering mixed reactions.

“Whoa,” Wyll had said, “He does look rich alright. A bit pale, perhaps.”

“He looks breakable,” was Lae’zel’s contribution to the conversation.

And that was that. 

Lark’s job search had been an ongoing process for the past seven months— ever since she graduated with her master’s in poetry. She had known it would be difficult to find a job with a creative degree, but not to this extent. Doing odd jobs at odd hours could only take one so far in life.

So when she saw a listing on a board online for a personal assistant to the owner of the Crimson Palace, she jumped on it; the pay was way too generous for what seemed to be nothing more than a simple assistantship. The job description said the position was temporary with the potential for something more (whatever that meant); there was a winter masquerade party coming up and the big boss needed some help (the listing of course didn’t say big boss, but Lark found it funny to call this sculpture of a man big boss).

  What she wasn’t expecting was to be called in for an interview literally five minutes after submitting her application. It was a woman she talked on the phone to, with a peculiar name— Shadowheart. Lark still wonders if it is some kind of stage name.

They take the subway to the Crimson Palace, all three of them already a little tipsy— clearly not finding anything wrong with going to Lark’s potential workplace to get shitfaced one week before her interview. She doesn’t dwell on it— if she gets rejected, she gets rejected. Nothing new. 

“Helm’s cock,” Wyll exclaims, earning a raised brow from Lae’zel and a squint from Lark, when they get out of the subway train and see the club in the distance. “It is a palace. You know, this place has some history to it. Rumor has it, it was owned by a cruel vampire once.”

“Definitely looks the part,” Lark sneers. “What’s it with you and rumors tonight?”

Lae’zel starts walking ahead of them. “I assumed we are here to drink, not indulge in history lessons,” she says. Wyll and Lark giggle but follow her regardless.

If the Crimson Palace looked grand from the outside, it’s even more so when they enter it: a huge dance floor greets them, the bar lining the left wall. The ceiling is so high that looking up makes Lark’s head turn. On what she assumes to be one of the upper floors, she can see a small balcony, big enough for maybe two people to stand together at once. It is a dizzying place— the tequila they’ve already had combined with the loud, booming music doesn’t help. But they’re here. For an excursion. 

Wyll turns back around to look at the bodyguard that ushered them in with an unusually friendly grin. “She’s beautiful,” he says, voice flat with a sprinkle of awe, as if he’s merely stating a fact. 

“Indeed,” Lae’zel says, making Lark laugh. The red tiefling woman is beautiful, to be fair. Even in the dark atmosphere of the club she looks like a flame, smile warm, eyes like honey. 

Lark decides that this is not Shadowheart. 

Lae’zel is not normally one to dance, but Lark pulls her to the middle of the dance floor anyway. Wyll makes his way to the bar to get drinks, and Lark finds a sappy feeling ruminating in her chest— their friendship has gone beyond asking. They just do, nowadays. 

“Perhaps Wyll’s rumor is true,” Lae’zel screams in her ear. “This palace certainly seems fit to hold vampires.”

“Better watch out for papercuts, then,” Lark jests but her friend doesn’t seem to hear. It matters not. 

They’re having fun. She might get her job next week. Everything is finally looking up.

That line of thought makes her actually look up, just as Wyll arrives with their drinks. Maybe it’s instinct, maybe it’s the flash of something silver in the darkness. All Lark knows is that, on the balcony she saw mere moments ago; there is now a man standing. Observing. A king overseeing the execution he ordered. 

Perhaps Wyll’s rumors are getting to Lark’s head, a little bit.

From the balcony, his gaze falls on her; a hawk zeroing in on its prey. The pictures online don’t do him justice, Lark thinks. Even from this distance, he is breathtaking. 

Quite literally, as she has to look away to remember how to breathe. She feels a weird rise of panic bubbling in her chest and frantically looks around to see Lae’zel take a sip from her drink. But Wyll is looking straight at her. 

“…Alright?” Lark can see his mouth move more than just one word, but this is all she catches. She gives him a quick nod before tearing through the crowd— everything suddenly feels too much. She is feeling too much. 

Washing her face will calm her down. If only she knew where the restrooms were. 

Lark just follows whatever space she can create among the drunken crowd, which isn’t much. For what feels like an eternity, she can’t even see where she’s going. 

Until she finds herself free from the smell and noise of everyone around her, off of the dance floor. There are no signs around; only an open arch that leads to a dark hallway, barricaded by thick, velvet ropes hanging from three carefully placed posts. Something tells her that this may not be the way to the restroom— but even in the middle of a panic attack she feels the pull of curiosity lead her down this poorly lit path. 

At the end of the marble-floor corridor she sees a flight of stairs; her feet carry her forward while her heart keeps beating in her ears. She hasn’t had an attack like this in a while. Taking a deep, labored breath, she reminds herself that there is no danger— she is out having fun with her friends. There is no one to take that away from her. Not anymore, at least.

Lark tries to take steady steps ascending the stairs. It is way too dark to be quick. When she reaches the top, she’s faced with another corridor, more marble flooring. Doors line both sides. The closest one to her is slightly ajar, a dim but visible light shining through. 

“West wing ass place,” she mumbles to herself, but carries on. Before entering the room, she looks around. It is eerily quiet here considering the dance floor is just below. Silence spell, perhaps? Closing her eyes, she tries to detect the familiar hum of magic. Nothing. That does give her an idea, though— she doesn’t know why she does it, but before she can dwell on it the word leaves her lips: “Evanesco.”

Now she can snoop around comfortably. The hope of washing her face has all but vanished, replaced with a relentless curiosity eating at her. The vision of the man standing on the balcony seeps again in her mind.

So that is Astarion Ancunín. 

The room she’s found herself in seems to be some sort of storage space— walls lined with shelves upon shelves of books, files and other serious-business looking things. They don’t catch her interest much. She can now see the source of that dim light seeping into the corridor, however— a singular candle stick placed on one of the shelves, as if someone just placed it there. Is this the Crimson Palace’s way of saving on electricity?

Lark peers at the particular shelf, which seems to contain meticulously organized folders, marked with names in alphabetical order. She reaches out and touches one of them— marked Raphael.  Pulling the folder out and peeking inside, she realizes that they’re letters. The first one out of the bunch is dated—

“A little early for your interview, are you not?”

Lark gasps, all sound coming back around her as if her ears had been clogged for days. The sound of music coming from downstairs. People laughing, talking. She loses concentration on the invisibility spell, and as she scrambles to turn around, the folder drops on the floor with a thud.

In front of her is the man she has now seen more than just a handful of times— a bunch in photos and then up on the balcony. Seeing him up close is… different. Everything about his appearance reflects purpose and deliberation, from the curls of his silver hair to the dangerous upwards angle of his lips. He’s wearing black from head to toe and for a second, forgetting what is actually happening, Lark thinks she’s never seen someone so perfect before.

“How did you—”

He gathers his arms behind him and looks down at Lark, crimson eyes in search of something she cannot fathom.

But then it hits her— the hum, the pull.

He’s trying to read her mind. 

Lark feels bad for him, only if for a second. He doesn’t know who she is.

She expertly blocks his spell, darkened eyes waiting for the disappointment on his face. It doesn’t appear.

“I believe you have lost your way,” he says with another plastic smile. He seems to be keeping his lips tightly closed on purpose. “Shall I escort you out?”

“I was just looking for the restroom.”

They look at each other, both knowing fully well that this is a lie. He doesn’t push.

“You might come to regret sneaking around like this if I decide to count this as our first official meeting.” 

There is danger in his eyes, but it doesn’t quite reach the amused tug of his mouth. Lark backs away from him, then steps to the side. His gaze follows her every move. 

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles. It’s a miracle she can find her voice in this moment. The intensity of those garnet eyes is not something magazine cover photos can capture. 

As she leaves the room, almost running, Lark keeps her head down. That panic in her chest is back— or— is it excitement?

The last thing Astarion Ancunín tells her before she is once again lost among the crowds is full of expectations, his voice silkier than whatever can be found in Cormyr.

“I look forward to seeing you next week, Miss Promise.”

taglist: @nerdalmighty @preciouslittlebhaalbae @aristenfromwarsaw

If you would like to be added to my taglist, please send me a message or reply here!<3

[weeb-polls-with-pip]

Autistic Anime Boys Side B Round 1 Match 9

Propaganda:

Serizawa -

"Iirc he was a literal shut in only wanting to play videogames for years until he was recognized and taken in for his unrealized talent. Very autism core imo."

"he canonically infodumps to Reigen about Mario while they are trapped in a spiritual dimension because it reminded him of something from a level.

He also recognizes a client’s speech as from an RPG game in the manga and points it out to Reigen.

And he likes brewing tea so much he carries a teapot in his backpack “just in case” (he tends to overpack in general but this bit tickles me).

bro literally read books on how to properly interact with his boss and wrote notes for himself. the notes didn't help bc his boss is reigen but its the thought that counts!"

Saiki -

"This boy is so autistic he literally has world-ending levels of psychic power and the ONLY thing he uses it for is to try to avoid people/get out of awkward or bothersome social situations. He actively dislikes being around other people but his classmates have adopted him and adore him, he’ll never admit it outright but he secretly does appreciate them (which is why he’s always going out of his way to solve problems for them but again he would NEVER ADMIT its because he cares about them, he always frames it as doing it for selfish reasons but i see right through you). Also he has literally altered the Laws of the Universe to make himself stand out less (ex: born with pink hair - makes it so that unnatural colors are normal literally rewriting all of human DNA in the process just so people will notice him less)."

[most-creature-vibe-tournament]

Round 3 poll 1

Propaganda:

Michael Afton (FNAF)

Urple

Michael is literally a rotting zombie that doesn’t feast on brains, and was filled with wires at some point 💀

Taylor Hebert (Worm (webserial by Wildbow))

Human girl who has superpowers that let her control bugs. She shunts all emotions off into her swarm of bugs, leaving her totally blank and stoic. She outsources sensory-input to her bugs, so she never looks or reacts to anything. In a fight, she reacts to opponents there is no possible way she could see, because she sensed them with her bugs. Overall has virtually no facial tells and moves in a way that makes her seem like she isn't a person. very creature <3 she is just a bug girl

shes such a FREAK. shes completely human (tho with an eldritch alien creature extradimensionally attached to her mind) but God does she not act like it sometimes. she has the superpower to control bugs and uses it to become the worlds most terrifying hero slash villain slash warlord slash apocalyptic threat. she has her bugs crawling all over her all the time. she uses a swarm of flies to scout out areas and then leaves flies in everybodys hair so she can keep track of where they are. she practiced having her bugs make noises until she figured out how to combine their noises into human speech so now she can talk through her swarm. she makes decoys of herself out of large pillars of bugs. once she was concussed and in the hospital and subconsciously calling her bugs to her so she was just covered in insects while the doctor tried to help her. then there was ANOTHER time she was hospitalized and got bored so she made a bunch of bugs so a little dance on her chest. whenever she's in costume and talking she has her bugs make noises to distort her voice and make her sound more scary and she doesnt even realize shes doing it anymore. she surrounds herself in a swarm to disorient her enemies. she doesn't even notice when her hair covers her eyes or anything like that because shes scouting out the area using her bugs so she doesnt have to see. she once used a tide of bugs to clean herself off and dust off her dress after having sex.

#she views herself as more of a swarm of bugs with a girl-shaped computer to control them than a girl herself#her body is just an extension of her bugs which is large and inconvenient but ultimately part of the weapon

#taylor “dissociates into bugs” hebert#taylor “keeps bugs in her hair” hebert#taylor “choke them with bugs” hebert#taylor “no one could ever love me” hebert#taylor “violence is always the answer” hebert

#normally i would want a worm character to win#but#bdubs is a strange little man. he's unusual.#Taylor's just got the 'tism.

she literally is a walking superorganism comprised of one human and a lot more bugs to the point where she frequently moves her head as if she can see through walls (with her bugs, she can), talks through her bugs, has been described like a corpse whose ghost is living on in her swarm, keeps functioning thru her bugs even when her human body is out for the count, et cetera. no disrespect intended but genuinely what in the world are you talking about. She cleans her pussy off with bugs after fucking. Her pussy. With bugs. And she thinks it's normal. Because the bugs are part of her. Is this thing on. I reiterate that she literally requires an emotional support cloak of bugs. She is so dissociated from being an actual person that she treats her human body like an inconvenience and her bugs like the primary operators. Is This Thing On.

#now i told myself i wouldnt comment anything on the rb... but#“She cleans her pussy off with bugs after fucking. Her pussy. With bugs.” CHAT IS THAT FUCKIN REAL??? IS THAT CANON???#cause if thats just a hc thats wild and i dont know if its better or worse if its canon#propaganda

this is indeed canon! there is a scene where, after fucking her boyfriend in an abandoned building, she stands up and cleans dust/etc off her naked ass body by having her bugs run across her and clean her, which presumably translates to "they are eating the dirt/sweat/etc off her." her boyfriend smiles affectionately at this, because he also has something wrong with him. she also does things like use bugs and spider silk to deliver her toothbrush straight to her hand in the morning while monologuing about "checking in on her hive" (her hive is the people in her villain territory.) she is a walking panopticon. her friends sometimes talk to bugs under the assumption it's taylor watching them and they're always right. at one point she confusedly asks someone if he's arachnophobic because he doesn't want her 10k black widow spiders to live in his apartment with him. she is basically like if a cockroach was a girl. I would never lie to you about Taylor Hebert, Unsung Champion of Polls About Weird Characters.

#taylor ofc#wait hey those are my tags as propaganda!! cool!#i stand by it#anyways yeah one of her main character traits when looked at by an outside perspective is just how WEIRD she is#everyone thinks she's a freak#even when you're reading her POV you sometimes have to stop and be like 'hey girl what the fuck'#one time she put bugs on her boyfriend's dick

She also turns into a bug monster at one point. Not all on her own, but she very much turns into a bug monster. Literally And Physically.

And she uses this to survive like a cockroach, she had Just Been Ripped In Fucking Half and thrown in the ocean to die and BOOM. bug monster transformation (with a little help) climb out and keep fighting, against an opponent so vast and powerful a human couldn't even comprehend his true form (not eldritch cognitohazard, just planet-sized + multidimensional), who could kill her in an instant. She's always surviving against the odds she's so cockroach coded (affectionate!) #@ pollrunner if you're still accepting propaganda please take the 'turns into a bug monster' as propaganda#the rest can be ignored or trimmed to 'she's always surviving she's so cockroach coded' but pleamse. the Time she Became A Bug

#she's such a freak!!!#she kills like it's the only thing she was built how to do#she kills people and things like it's chess and she's a grandmaster#as soon as the violence is off she's just a fucked up offputting little one woman panopticon

[thecoffeelorian]

Anomaly Asides, #1 (WIP):: Sit Down, Jod!

SUMMARY: As part of an amnesty deal between Captain Silvo and the New Republic, Master Luke Skywalker offers him a new ship and lucrative pay reclaiming lost Jedi artifacts. As the Captain isn’t about to give up his independence so easily, he makes the counteroffer of working for the New Republic only if Skywalker bests him in a fist fight.

However, even if he’s been alive a lot longer, there’s something that this Captain is about to learn the hard way—never pick a fight with a son of Tatooine!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I got the idea for this series from two pieces of fanart, a random post weeks ago about Jod's possible (debunked) future reclaiming lost Jedi artifacts, and a suggestion that he could help Luke Skywalker rebuild on Ossus. If anybody still has that post on hand, please link me to it so that I can give it credit if necessary. Otherwise, I'm taking all of that lost potential and turning it into fanfic canon, so here goes nothing, folks!

PRELIMINARY TAGS: @gabrielislovegabrielislife and anybody else who could use some literary candy after the end of Season 1.

It’s been a solid ten minutes now, and if you really want to be honest with yourself, they’ve been the most stressful ten minutes you’ve ever faced in your life. Not only are you a little bit sure that something truly horrible is going down in the room before you, but even with its doors having been locked from the inside, you’ve got a small, yet persistent, feeling that the man you’ve fallen for hasn’t thought twice about letting his violent side finally run free.

And so—as far as you’re able to tell, with or without the muffled sounds to indicate anything—the room beyond those doors must look like an earthquake just took place. Already you’ve counted the sounds of twelve shattered tables; seven broken chairs; six instances of “Do you yield” and just as many of “Go float yourself”; two instances (and counting) of SOMEONE screaming in pain…and if all of that wasn’t bizarre enough, one of those combatants must have been trying (and failing) to knock out the other with a summoned object for about three of the last five minutes of this backroom brawl.

In fact, if any of the looks on the faces of the people around you are something to go by…you’re almost one hundred percent sure that this “Master Luke”, as cocky as he might have been at the very beginning, may have lost this battle entirely.

“Mom…is Mister Skywalker gonna die?!”

Neel blurts out this question after pacing almost the entire time, his words finally giving a voice to the heightened emotions felt by all.

“I don’t know, baby…”

As bizarre and nerve-wracking as all of this feels, though, Noomi’s still one of the few willing enough to stay positive. In fact, word around the office is, she’s put five credits into the workplace betting pool for the hopes of a Skywalker victory, or so your neighbors have told you. In the meantime—

“No, you don’t…”

—It’s almost impossible to tell which of these two men has the upper hand, which of them laughs out loud as they’re knocked to the floor—

“…I’ll say it one more time. Do. You. Yield?”

—And yet, once the curse-laden round of someone thrashing about finally gives way to a fit of angry sobbing—

“I YIELD!”

—Only then does the first sound of fighting cease, the second sound of doors unlocking from the inside take over…and literally nothing prepares you for all that happens next.

“You can put your tools away now. It’s over.”

“What—?!”

That old door swings open with a creak, a small gust of wind brushes at your skin—and then, who should come strolling out of there than Master Luke himself, his blond head held high and barely any wounds upon him.

[TO BE CONTINUED]

[controversial-blorbo-bracket]

Controversial Character Tournament Round 2: Blaine Anderson from Glee vs Barok Van Zieks from The Great Ace Attorney

(remember that these characters are fictional and your fellow tumblr users are real. i will block you if you harass others in the notes, please consider sending your unhinged harassment to my inbox instead)

Propaganda under the cut, may contain spoilers:

Blaine Anderson:

LOVE: - "you know that post that's like "fandom will call a character evil and immature and then the character is just 15 yo" because that's what happens with blaine. he's just a sweet but socially inept kid with a lot of insecurities who's trying his best. compared to most glee characters he hasn't done anything wrong in his life. and yes he cheated on his boyfriend that one time, but he was super depressed afterwards (also this is glee literally every character has cheated and none have suffered as most as blaine because of it). in conclusion he's just a silly goose. my little princess <3"

HATE: (tumblr will not let me format this one bc its too long)

"A lot of people say he's the male Rachel Berry, and while I think that is absolutely a true statement, I actually don't mind his personality all that much. Literally everyone in Glee has a personality that ranges from inconsistent to downright horrendeus, so instead of talking about what he's like, here's some things he canonically does (buckle up, this'll be long): In season 2, when we first meet him, he's the leader of his school's showchoir. (redflag no.1/j) This gives him the freedom and authoritity to do a lot of stuff- not all bad, but he does serenade a closeted guy he doesn't know all that well, who works in costumer service AT HIS WORKPLACE, with a song about sex toys. (The guy in question ends up getting fired of course). He also gives some pretty hypocritical advice to his love interest, Kurt, about how he should try to blend in (hypocritical, cuz Blaine does the opposite and he's thriving under the attention), and he asks some insesitive questions, but those are all pretty excusable, or at least standard for Glee. In s3, him and Kurt are boyfriends, and he transitions school for him, which we could absolutely count as a decent thing, however it all kinda sours when he gets the part of Tony in the school's production of West side story. Why is this important? Kurt is a senior, and the performing arts university he's applying for is really competitive, so he needs all the extra curriculars and theatre experiance he can get. He asks Blaine to not aidition for Tony- which he agrees to- than promptly goes against that by singing one of Tony's songs at audition. He then gets offfered the role, doesn't turn it down, tells Kurt he should be happy for him, and honestly, BY GLEE STANDARDS, this is also pretty chill. Meanwhile: enter Sebastian Smythe, another contraversial character, who's now the new captain of Blaine's former showchoir, and who decides that either 1. Blaine is hot 2. Gonna use Blaine as an informat (His reasons are unclear tbh) Either way, he starts flirting with Blaine, who does end up rejecting his advances and telling him he's taken (though much later than it's probably ethical, idk tho, I'm aro). He (Blaine) really enjoys the attention though, so they end up keeping in touch. (Important for later.) Back to our main plot though; Blaime doesn't have sexual chemistry with his co-star, so the director tells him to lose his virginity (yes, you heared that right, it is fucked up). So he tries to sleep with Kurt, who of course, doesn't know that his boyfriend's sudden interest in him is due to directoral instructions. And then probably the most contraversial Blaine scene happens- see, Blaine, Kurt, and Sebastian (who Kurt hates with passion) end up going to this gaybar. Blaime gets drunk (though he only drinks one beer on screen, so we don't exactly know how drunk), and tries to sleep with Kurt in the parking lot. Kurt is visibly upset, and tells him no multiple times. Blaime doesn't oblige, and Kurt ends up shouting at him, which Blaine...doesn't take well, and blames Kurt, then leaves by foot. (They end up having sex by the end of this episode btw. No, Kurt still doesn't know about the directoral instructions. Whether he does it out of love or fear that Blaine will leave him is unclear) So we already know these two are not very good at boundries and communication, but the writers say they're "soulmates" so apperantly it's okay? Anyway, this all culminates in cheating incident no.1, where Kurt meets a guy whom he shares similar interests with, and who gives him some very cheesy compliements. They exchange numbers, and text a lot. Blaine doesn't like this. He checks their texts in secret, and then sings a song in front of the entire Glee club about how he's being cheated on, to humiliate Kurt.

Kurt insists it's not cheating, giving the example that Blaine's doing the same/used ro do the same with Sebastian. Blaine says "that's different" and they leave it at that. Kurt apologises via song. S4- Kurt moves to New York. Has to work a lot, since rebt is high, and also gets an internship at vague, so he's quite busy. Blaine feels ignored, so he cheats on him with some guy we only see the facebook profile of. They break up. S5- Blaine has a crush in this other guy, Sam. (He's been trying to get Kurt back, so him moving on is a big deal). Except gay marrige gets legalized, and Blaine decides to propose to Kurt. So he gets back together with him, then bot a week later he arranges a huge public proposal where it'd honestly just be plain emberassing to say no, but dontcha worry, because Kurt accepts. They move to New York together. Blaine becomes insecure, because Kurt gets ripped thanks to his fencing lessons, meanwhile he lrts go of himself a bit, enjoying all the fine food New York has to offer. His reaction to this is to try manipulating/tricking Kurt into eating copious amounts of food too. (To be fair, Kurt's reaction to the situation isn't perfect either, but this is not about him, their actions can co-exist without one of them necessarily having to be "the right one") S6- Kurt breaks up with Blaine. Blaine ends up going back to Ohio, and dating the guy who bullied, non-consensually kissed, than threatened to kill Kurt. (The guy did have a redemption arc, but I still dunno how to feel) You might be wondering- "wow, this was so lpng and extensive", and you'd be right but also this was mostly romantic relationship centric. There's also a lot of stuff Blaine says to his friends that make me question my sanity, but this is Glee, so that's every character in basically every episode. What makes me hate Blaine isn't even JUST all this- it's the fact that in universe, he almost never gets called-out, people take his side, it's as if the writers are condoning his actions, and I Don't Like That. I'm all for liking morally grey, or even morally dispicable characters, as long as their actions don't get excused. Hell, I started out just mildly disliking Blaine, but a lot of people paint him as innocent and pure, and that didn't feel right. Then I was ready to like him BECUASE of his questionable morality- but turns out, the guy doean't have much else going on besides this. His personality is almost the same as Rachel, except Rachel's more...full? If that makes sense? Blaine is just...bland. And inconsistent, and boring, and I just Do Not Like Him At All."

Baron Van Zieks:

LOVE: - "man's 6'4", british, looks like a vampire, took a mental health break for 5 years thanks to the dead bodies that cropped up after he lost in court, and is uhhhhhh kinda racist which is a key part of his character. the explanation for it is divisive but he does grow as a character eventually?? i think he's fun. there's a bonus case exclusive to the 3DS version of the games where he mentions he was almost poisoned in one of the first cases he ever handled. he objects with his leg. he brings wine into court but rarely drinks it. he has bats in his office. we have no idea where the scar on his face came from. his voice actor did a subway commercial. i think he wants to believe he is the sane one in the courtroom but that title belongs to the 16 year old judicial assistant for the defense." - "I love to hate him tbh!!! He's a complex interesting character tied up in things outside of his control and being used by the antagonist to hurt people, isolated due to his grief and rumors from the public. He also sucks SO fucking bad and I want to punch him. Lovingly. But I love him I promise."

[wildstar25]

I would love to see the breakdown of Arsay’s timeline through the expansions!!!

WEEEEELLLL if you insist... My basic timeline break down is as follows: Keep in mind a few things are still kinda in flux, and if I ever contradict myself in the future literally don't worry about it

1.0 -> Calamity 6 months End point in the 4th umbral moon lining up with what is now the rising event (calamity memorial). Now that I’ve switched up arsay’s birthday, she turns 22 during the 1.0 campaign.

Calamity -> ARR 5 Years Arsay is stuck in the lifestream with the mother crystal for that 5 year period. Her memories of 1.0 and everyone's memories of her are largely erased. Arsay wakes up on a boat to Limsa Lominsa believing it is still her first voyage to Eorzea.

ARR->HVW ~6 months The base story including job quests take 3 months in total. The next three months are dedicated to the patches: Primal Trial series -> Coils of Bahamut -> 2.1. ~3 weeks Crystal Tower Raids, LoTA -> Syrcus Tower ~1 month 2.2-2.3 -> Crystal Tower Raid WoD ~2 weeks 2.4->2.55 ~3 weeks

HVW->STB ~4 months Main story starts a day or two after 2.55 and takes ~1 month total Patches take ~3 Months: 3.1->3.2->Void Arc ~1 month ->Arsay gets really into pvp and does nothing but frontlines and CC for a week -> 3.3->Alexander Raids->3.4 ~3 weeks Warring Triad->3.5->3.56 ~1 month

STB->SHB ~6 months Main story picks up a week after 3.56 and takes ~3 months time. (The first trip to Kugane takes 3 weeks off screen, after that travel time is reduced to a few days to a week using the East Aldenard Trading company boats (it would make sense that lolorito has better boat tech imo)) Next 3 month period is all the patches: Ivalice raids->Omega raids->4.1-4.2 ~1 month Eureka exploration->4.3->4 lords ~1.5 months 4.4->4.56 ~2 weeks

I know the ARR to Shadowbringers lead up is a mad dash but if it happened any slower, I don't believe Arsay would have be the character she is by that point. It is incredibly vital that she has almost 0 down time for herself. Her days and nights are PACKED full by choice. Job Quests, Hildebrand stuff,PvP, Hunts all get squeezed in throughout.

SHB->EDW ~8 months Main story picks up a few days after 4.56 and takes only 1.5 months to complete. Its a non stop emotional roller coaster for Arsay to be completely fine and normal about the whole time. Patches take 6.5 months, notably there is more downtime between patches: Chill relaxing after 5.0->Eden I->5.1->Neir raid I ->5.2-> role quest/shadowkeeper->Eden II-> 5.3 ->chill relaxing/recovery time for scions->Eden III->Neir raids II & III->Werlyt->Bozjia->5.4-5.55

EDW->DWT ~1 year (time spent in Elpis is not counted) ->Main story up to credit roll ~1 month ->Recovery time for injuries sustained in Ultima Thul ~4 months ->After credits - Scions Disband, everyone goes their separate ways - 1 day 🙃 ->Rest of the roll quests now that Arsay can mostly fight again(she can't cast mudras😞 ) ~1 month (casting>healing>tanking>aiming>bonus all role cap off) -> 1 month of nothing to do, Arsay still can't cast mudras, character development dictates she can no longer repress every bad emotion she feels, she has no proper coping mechanisms and quickly spirals into a mental breakdown over feeling like she's worthless and that no one will need her anymore now that the world isnt ending constantly and that she's worried without the scions being the scions everyone she cares about will slowly forget her and she'll be all alone again. Y'shtola and G'raha manage to get Arsay talking after a bit of self destructive lashing out. Things are sorta resolved?? Y'shtola and G'raha reassure her of a lot, and do their best to get it in her little kittycat head that she's not a burden on them even when she's sad. Not an automatic fix but Arsay does make the commitment to better her mental health and to work on her self image issues and communication skills! It'll be a process for her. ->5 days round trip to her home island in the southern seas to visit her Aunt and catch up ->6.1 starts when Arsay gets back from that ->Endwalker patch content takes up the final 5 months of that year period. Things are mostly interspersed with how they are released except for pandae which happens all in one go for Arsay between 6.3 and 6.4. Arsay has done all the variant dungeons, Tataru's grand endeavours, completed Island Sanctuary, and Myths of the Realm. ->The gap between 6.55 and 7.0 will probably only be about a week? Maybe 2? It depends how much it seems like the early arrivals to Tural have been there compared to Arsay and her crew.

That's my timeline! Thank you for asking and reading 🙇 hopefully that all made sense haha ^^

Have a picture of them for the road <3

[mattapparentlystumbltourneys]

Giraffe Girumble - Round 3A

Propaganda below (May contain spoilers!)

Kaku propaganda:

He's a black ops government assassin who can transform into a giraffe or a human-giraffe hybrid that is really angular for some reason. He fights using two swords and wind blades shot from his feet, but giraffes have four feet, so he can shoot wind blades from all four limbs. He can also become a cube. And suck in his neck to fire his head forward like a cannon, his nose like a square-shaped cannonball. Or suck in his neck to make his legs longer, like a pasta machine.

A professional assassin and government agent, ate the fruit that gave him the ability to turn into a giraffe. Due to Kaku's personal anatomical peculiarity, he turns into a square giraffe (technically, a parallelepiped) a good swordsman who quickly learned to use the giraffe form for his fighting style. However, because he only became a giraffe a few hours ago, he is still not very good at it, which makes him miss funny. in his next appearance, he is a complete professional at transformations. AND AFTER HIS TEAM LOST TO THE MAIN CHARACTER'S TEAM, HE AND HIS PARTNERS WORKED AT A TRAMPOLINE RIDE AND HE RODE CHILDREN ON HIS NECK TO RAISE MONEY FOR THE BOSS'S TREATMENT.

Kaku turns into a giraffe-human by being ordered to eat a devil fruit by his boss, and the first thing this man does is hop on the giraffe propaganda train, no hesitation. His collegues are wolfs and leopards. Does Kaku mope about being a giraffe? No! He literally holds a whole speech explaining why giraffes are both dope, cool and the most lethal animal on the savanna. Then proceeds to unleash the limitless destructive power of the giraffe. Kaku is the no. 1 giraffe character, hands down, no competition, I will die on this hill, give me 1000 dollars.

Miyoshi Kazunari propaganda:

I don’t know how to explain this in a cohesive way that doesn’t sound like I’m insane but this silly little actor visual novel has a canon furry event. All of the characters have canon fursonas. Okay, let me explain. Every year, the April fool’s event involves an AU, just for fun. Other years have included a host club, magic school, time travel, a fighting game, etc. This one was an AU where all the characters were animals, and it was by far the most extensive, given that it had its own full-blown event as opposed to a single card and side story like in the past. I couldn’t tell you if Kazunari counts given the submission rules and A3!’s circumstances, but it would be cool if he got in as A3! is generally a smaller franchise.

[hubristicassholefight]

Swordswoman Showdown Round 1 Part 3

Hornet (Hollow Knight) vs Sayaka Miki (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)

(Better here in a "preferred character" sense, not "who would win in a fight")

Propaganda below cut

Hornet

Technically its not a sword but she wields a needle in a setting where swords do not exist and she wields it in an exceedingly swordlike fashion so. She counts; Girlboss demigoddess spider lady. She's been protecting an entire kingdom for longer than many of the other characters have been alive. She systematically kills her siblings for being too weak. She's simply the best.

Sayaka

She can magically summon many swords; Becomes a cool witch

Her magical girl-assigned weapon that she uses to combat and slay witches; She's got a knight theme, a little mermaid inspired second (evil!) form and literally 2 of the best musical scores of the whole show IMO. Also, I juat think she's neat

Tragic cutlass wielder. Can summon tons of them. Devastating battle scene where she loses all hope. Pls vote for her she’s so sad.

A magical girl who can summon just. a ridiculous amount of swords.

Shes uses a sword when transformed as a magical girl, and she can summon a bunch of other swords too

She wields a cutlass and while she's not necessarily technically proficient with it, her ability to cut herself off from the sense of pain combined with the strong regenerative magic she was granted as a side-effect of her wish, she has an almost berserker-like fighting style which is dangerous but nevertheless effective; She's super tomboyish but incredibly sweet and self-sacrificing. She'd give up everything for her friends (and, unfortunately, does). Unfortunately this leads to her feeling unappreciated and unrecognized. She deserves everything <3

Magical girl with sword. Good at dying